#i hate how much of my life has been ruined by this and my failings as a person and the nhs being not much better

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.189 Correction

When story time ended, Sophia took Desi to the bathroom and washed away the mess. With a few moments to myself, I went to the real estate website to see our house again and choose which side we'll call home. Both houses have an identical layout, so it really boiled down to which furniture we liked more. The gray house had a more sophisticated vibe, while the blue house was more relaxed and comfortable. Choosing was a lot harder than I imagined because they both were nice, and I couldn't go wrong with either. Ultimately, however, I chose the gray one. I figured since I'm taking on all the risk, it's only right we live in the fancier one. Just as I picked up the phone to call Less and tell her we have a house, someone knocked at the front door. It was Dub! I let him in and told him I was just thinking of him yesterday. Usually he'd take the opportunity to joke about how he has that effect on sims, but he just kinda snorted and said it was funny in the driest of tones. There was nothing funny about that half-hearted laugh and him standing in the foyer staring into the corner. Something was wrong.

"Earth to Dubstep. You coming in or you gonna stand in the foyer all night?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm good."

He definitely was not good because he didn't even flinch at the mention of the nickname he hates so much. Whatever's got him in a funk is probably why he's here. He always comes to me when he's in crisis. Well, when he perceives he's in crisis, rather. I love the guy, but he's a little high-strung sometimes. I'm glad he has sims in his life like Maia and me who are much calmer and more level-headed to keep him straight.

I didn't want to just dive in and spook him, though, so I started with a little small talk.

"Happy belated," I said.

"Thanks, man," he replied with a tiny grin.

"How did Tami like sharing her day with you?"

He let out a very long sigh, and I knew I had stepped unintentionally right into the middle of what I tried to dance around. I guess we're going all the way in.

"She didn't."

"Oh."

"How do you-" He stopped himself and turned away from me. "Nevermind. You wouldn't understand."

"Understand what?"

He swatted at me, trying to sweep the conversation back under the rug.

"Nothing. You have the perfect child and all this wisdom. You don't understand what it's like for the rest of us."

Was he mocking me? I've had it up to here with everyone assuming I live this perfect life and have all the answers. I'm one of the most down-to-earth sims I know, yet somehow I still end up being out of touch with everyone. Am I too confident? Too strong? I know I've carried things I shouldn't have in the past, and I need to be more open, but how does that equate to me having it all together? I know Dub is upset about something and isn't thinking straight, so I'm gonna try to let it go this time, but not before I give him a little dose of truth because, upset or not, this fairytale everyone thinks I live in ends today.

"Do you really believe that?" I asked.

He shrugged.

"Maybe. I don't know. But I'm sure you're gonna tell me how I'm wrong, so..."

"Damn right I am. You don't know my life like you think you do. And you definitely don't know what goes on in my head. 'All this wisdom?' I got it from all the shit and mental gymnastics I've been through. Now, I'll be the first to say my child is the best, but she has her moments too. And I've had my share of parenting and marriage fails, so don't tell me I don't know what it's like."

He sat silently for a few moments, taking in my reprove. Part of me thinks all he needed was to hear me say he's not alone, but another part thinks he still needs advice on something, so I got down to business.

"What happened, Dub? I don't like seeing you like this."

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that."

"Don't worry about it. What's going on?"

"You ever wonder if you're ruining Desi?"

His question caught me off guard, and I laughed. He has no idea how obvious that answer should be.

"Only all the time," I said.

His eyes lit up.

"Really?"

"Of course. Did Tami come with a manual? Because we sure didn't get one. I don't know what I'm doing half the time, man, so yeah...I wonder. Like, her birthday is in two days, but I'm still carrying her around like an infant. She enjoys it, so it's cool, but is it hurting her? Will she want to be up under us all the time when she's older? Am I keeping her from becoming independent? I question every move I make with her, even if it's not necessarily bad."

"I feel that." He sat there, nodding over and over as if to drum up the courage to make his next statement. "Tami has been doing and saying some mean things lately, but I just let it happen because of my own feelings about the sims she's doing it to."

"How do you mean?"

"I told you she kicked my former tenants. You know they deserved that. She also bit my father-in-law. I was so proud of her because someone needs to knock him down a few pegs. But she's older now and using words. She cut up this little girl in the park yesterday and told her she wasn't pretty."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. But the other girl started it, so she had it coming too."

"I see what you mean now."

"So, what do you think about it?"

Oof. Why does he always put me in this position? I have a lot of feelings about this, but I'm sure none of them are what he wants to hear. But what kind of friend would I be if I said nothing? I'd feel terrible if Tami grew up to be a monster, knowing I had the opportunity to shed some light early on. It won't be comfortable, but I've got to at least try. Here goes nothing.

"I think ... You're my boy, and I'll always tell you the truth, so ... You're her dad, Dub. You should be the one telling her those things are wrong, not encouraging her bad behavior. I know you think all those folks got what they deserved, which is also problematic, but is that the message you want to send Tami? That she can do and say whatever she wants and get away with it because 'they deserved it?' I'm afraid of the path you're putting her on. What kind of a woman will she become if you let her continue on like this? Do you think of her future?"

"Of course I do! What kind of a-"

He paused, succumbing to the realization I was right, even though I wondered if I had gone too far.

"I'm sorry if I'm out of line," I said. "I wouldn't have said anything if I didn't care."

"No. You're right. You always are. I was just thinking about what my parents will say if they find out how she's been acting. There's no way in hell they would have let me get away with the stuff I let slide."

I can't imagine my parents letting us get away with that either, but I honestly don't know what they would have done. Me and Less never really got into trouble, and my parents were both so lenient. I guess I'll never know. Hopefully, I'll never have to talk to Desi about this.

"I'm glad you always keep it 100 with me," he continued. "That's why I trust you so much. Can't lie, though. That hurt, but I know I needed to hear it. Deep down, I knew, but I never saw it like that. I'll do better, though. Believe that."

"I believe it, man. We don't play about our daughters."

"We absolutely do not!"

Not that I don't love these deep conversations with my best friend, but that one got really heavy, and he clearly has a lot to mull over later, so I pulled out my phone and showed him our new home, hoping a lighter topic would do the trick.

[stargazingpsychotic]

Sorry, a very bad rant/personal discussion on partly my distrust of mh services, but also a failing that I have as a psychotic person I suppose

A few years ago I had a very unfortunate conversation with a friend of mine. I was in a bad situation and been pushed around loads of different people in mental health services, lots of sleepless nights at a&e, a few visits to wards or places with unreasonable conditions (was either unable to sleep because that wasn't it's purpose despite being there 10 days, or so cold that no one could sleep with a tiny sheet as bedding to cover us in the coldest of winter).

One of these times I was under section, I had tried to kill myself, not because of some delusion or impulsive action because of voices or whatever had been the reason before, but because I felt it all coming back into psychosis. I decided I'd rather leave then than let myself spiral and have to go through it all again.

Because when I have had attempts in the past before that often it felt out of my control, and like I wasn't going to die, I was just going to leave my body. I wasn't scared of doing that most of the time, and any time I was I'd contact someone who'd help me get to where I needed to go.

I was sent home from that hospital being told they knew I'd hurt myself but they didn't have a reason to keep me there (I was happy with this because I'd at least be warmer). But, as I had tried to get across, I did end up in an episode again.

At some point during this I was, for a short time, scared. I knew I was going to do something, I knew I could justify it as me not dying but escaping, I knew it would hurt but it wouldn't result in my existence ceasing, and I'd be happier for it. But I was scared for a bit, enough to go out and get to the hospital and do my best to explain what was happening, how I was scared, but it doesn't last. Knowing I would do it when I got home from there. And that day really ruined any hope I had.

First they kept me in over night, which was fine, but I did get a bit agitated since I started thinking this was pointless and they were going to trick me or trap me, not without the person I spoke to telling me I'd be a bad friend for doing it. The next morning I see someone else, never seen her before, but she comes in and starts talking. I have to repeat what I said, but differently, this time less fear and more matter of fact. This is going to happen because I have to, and I will be fine. Nothing bad will ultimately happen, I will just move on. And it all resulted in her saying 'just don't do it'. And, sure. I might, if I'm being generous, see how maybe that could slightly help. But this isn't a choice for me. I have to do this. It isn't the first time either, so it isn't like a whole new thing for me.

I'm sent home. I take so many pills it should have done a reasonable amount of damage even if it didn't kill me.

About a week later my friends get in touch and I mention about what happened the week before. I didn't want to bother them because that would mean I was a bad friend for getting them involved. But I wasn't going to lie.

Someone comes over and talks and we go back to the hospital and end up seeing the same person who I saw in the evening a week before. She really went all in on the bad friend thing, as well as explaining how I was going to die in the next couple weeks in a lot of detail and using someone who did die as an example of how I would admit how big a mistake it was and I'd be begging to live. That has never sat well with me. Well I was sent home and that was that.

The conversation I mentioned at the beginning was essentially how I have just had to accept that I might die one day, by my own hands, and not necessarily because I know I'm going to die but because I know I won't die but move on. It won't kill me, just give me the chance to move on. I wanted to kill myself before the episode I felt coming on because at least I would know I would die and it would be easier to understand than me saying confidently that I'm not going to die if I do whatever it is that would kill me.

It's been over 4 years since then. I've had at least 3 (maybe 5) episodes like this since. None have been taken with the seriousness I need to think I could trust the mental health services when it is like this.

One of them I was told I'm not worth helping. Two went on without much involvement because I couldn't even tell anyone and I'm lucky I could claim some other illness during that time because I did not want to waste my time with them. Another it was all apparently because I'm trans (which was what they believed after I, again, did my best to explain the situation).

These last few months have been the same. I wrote it all out. I explained the past. I explained how I act during it and how I really don't want to end up there again, so doing anything to try and prevent it would really help.

Of course I wasn't taken seriously. The doctor decided, over and over, that I can just not think whatever I think. He could say that I can get over it and not end up there.

I'm not faultless here. I went off my meds, and then a few months later, realising this was a mistake, I tried to say I should go back on them, and he said no. I made it difficult because everything I was asked always came back to 'i can't work with you because it would trap me and I have to go home (not earth)'. I made mistakes, ones which might have been prevented if I wasn't put on meds that didn't help at all, but still down to me.

I also realised, early in the year, or last year, my body is dead, this happened 4 years ago, when I had that really bad attempt and experience with them. It's being kept alive by something else, when I'm asleep they are able to reset some control over me and that's why sleeping is bad for me. My flesh is rotting away and I can see that and people are being weird by not mentioning it ever. So I'm not trying to kill my body, instead exhaust the person or people keeping it going by harming it over a long period of time.

I did explain this to them, I really tried, I was scared because I know how awful I feel withholding water and sleep and anything else which should help me. I spent ages trying to fight this, living with a contradiction of having to leave but needing help.

Unfortunately, months of it not being treated, and the most advice being 'don't do that', I have ended up mostly believing this. And I know what happens next. Because I keep having visions, I know how this ends. Either in my being trapped here forever, or leaving by causing enough harm.

On top of that I have to deal with angels being sent to watch and interfere. My family being swapped out constantly, so much that whatever they have become, all they want is for me to die. The world is controlled by It, so no one can be trusted, not really. And I have to appear like nothing is going on (I'm really bad at this).

I feel abandoned. All the talk of how suicide prevention matters, but when I try my best to get out of this, knowing I need to work with others, when I can work with them they refuse, and when it gets into the worst of it, well there's still no support, at least most the time nothing changes.

The cycle will continue until either it just stops and never happens again because of whatever, or I die. And I die not believing I'm going to die but believing I will move on, far off into the universe, going home, where I can finally feel safe for once.

And then there's the contact numbers. So I have to phone people as a way of asking for support, the problem is this is either things like mindline or Samaritans (we know they can't help, especially for psychosis, years ago friends tried with me and yeah, it isn't something I can be talked out of), or the mental health services themselves, which haven't ever come to anything helpful. It doesn't help I struggle with phonecalls and talking in general, especially about myself.

What bothers me more is none of this touches on the dissociation and lost time, on the anxiety and fears I have which get in the way, nor my lacking in various things people are generally expected to do without support.

It's frustrating. And part of it is I don't know what can help me because I don't have any experience in that and I don't know what options there are when the doctor says no to meds and therapy is dependent on nothing leading me to 'i have to go home' - which, when someone talks about any random thing can do this and my reaction usually results in some degree of harm coming to me, either slight or an attempt on my life, then it doesn't feel safe going in without meds to at least calm this down.

I'm fed up. I'm tired. I know where things are going because I have to change doctor and this won't be quick either. But since this current one has decided I can just get over it, despite my past and everything I have told him, I cannot risk another appointment when he doesn't have my best interests there at all.

I have to go home and this could easily happen while under the impression I will not die, and that terrifies me that I have to accept that because there's no support for me in this situation.

Maybe it's what I deserve for getting stuck in this world in the first place.

[alvojake]

idol jungwon wherein he's recording a song with explicit meaning, and her non-showbiz gf decided to spice the song up by including actual sounds of sex

「notes」 : I may or may not have gone a little crazy with this, hehe... but pervy, rough jungwon will forever be my favorite agenda 🙈

Countermelody | Y.JW

「paring」 : idol!bf!jungwon x non-idol!fem!reader 「word count」 : 2.4k

「synopsis」 : your boyfriend has been holed up in the studio for almost two weeks trying to meet his deadline, but no matter what he did he just couldn't find the missing piece. however, when you finally convince him to let you listen to it you realize that not only was it a song about the two of you but also a very sensual and sexy song. partially joking you suggested that you could add the sounds of sex to make it more realistic, but boy did your boyfriend take an instant liking to that idea.

「genre」 : smut

「warning」 : make-out sessions, unprotected sex (NO!), cursing, petnames (baby, bunny...), teasing, clit play, marking/biting, won is a bit pervy, dom!jungwon x sub!reader, public(ish) sex, rough sex, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, squirting, slight bulge kink, praise, slight manhandling, lmk if I missed anything!!

You had planned to bring your sweet, hard-working boyfriend some homemade lunch seeing as he’s been holed up in that production room for days. The lack of sleep is very evident in his features. Jungwon had been busting his ass trying to meet the deadline for his new single, but no matter what he did he felt like something was missing. A key factor that would tie the whole thing together but for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what it was. You were willing to help, but he refused to let you listen to the song, saying it was a ‘surprise’ and that he wanted to wait until it was finished for you to hear it. But you were going to make him let you help because you couldn’t bear to see him in this state for much longer. Not just for his sake but for your own as well. You see, during this whole time Jungwon was so absorbed in trying to produce this song that he had completely forgotten about you. 

Sure you would see him for that short amount of time that he was in your shared apartment and he did nothing but love you. You love it, god you loved it, but you wanted more than just his innocent kisses and touches. You needed, no craved him so badly and you weren’t sure how much more you could take before you finally burst.

So here you stood behind your boyfriend, your thumbs pressing firmly down on his shoulders trying to undo the knots that had formed due to him working so much. Jungwon just leaned into your touch savoring the feeling of your warm skin against his. He had missed you so much that it was starting to physically hurt, but he needed to get this song finished. The deadline was fast approaching and he was starting to grow more and more anxious the closer it got, worried that he would fail. His eyes stared at the desktop screen in front of him, racking his brain for what that missing piece could be. So lost in his head that he completely missed his name falling from your lips.

“Jungwon.” You spoke a bit louder, snapping him right out of whatever trance he was stuck in. He tilted his head back looking up at you sheepishly, a small awkward smile tugging on his lips as he apologized. “Why don’t you let me help you?” You pouted softly and he just closed his eyes with a sigh.

He really did want it to be a surprise because he made this song with you in mind, but he knew that you would continue to bother him until he let you help. He knew you meant well, but he just hated the idea of it being ruined. 

“It’s supposed to be a surprise baby,” He whined before sitting up in the roller chair, pulling himself out of your grip.

“Won, I’m almost one hundred percent sure I’ll love it finished or not,” You reassured him and you walked around the chair, “and,” You easily climbed into his lap, straddling his legs and his hands instantly went to your hips, “maybe I can help find what it is that missing, ya?”

Jungwon looked at you with such a soft gaze that you were sure that you would turn into putty in his lap. However, the smirk that tugged on his lips as his eyes became dark made heat pool in your gut. He nodded his head with a quick ‘okay’ and before you could even question it he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling your body flush against his and rolling forward so he could reach for the mouse. You looked over your shoulder, watching as he went to the audio file before unplugging the headphones he had been wearing. When he hit play a smooth sensual tune pooled out of the speakers and as soon as his voice came through you could feel your body grow warmer.

The words and beat seemed innocent on the outside, but as you really listened to his words you knew what the true meaning was. The song is about begging a woman who was referred to as ‘Bunny’ to let him love her right. How he would treat her right and fuck her in all the right ways. That she should just forget about her lousy ex and choose him. That’s when it dawned on you that he was talking about you. Everything fits you, the nickname that only Jungwon ever gave you. The lyrics match all of the details about your relationship to a tee. 

Finally taking your eyes off of the screen you looked over meeting your boyfriend’s hooded eyes. You bit your lip as you wrapped your arms around his neck, playing with the hairs on the nape of his neck. The man in front of you wasn’t the sweet, innocent man that everyone believed him to be, no the man in front of you was a downright dirty pervert. He would take any chance he could get to have you whenever, wherever, no matter the situation. The need to have his dick buried so deep inside of your warm cunt overshadowed any other thoughts.

Which is why this song didn’t surprise you a single bit. It was no wonder that he wanted it to be a surprise, he’d probably show it to you while he was dicking you down in the bedroom.

That’s when a lightbulb went off in your brain, finding the perfect solution for what it was that was missing. You leaned more against Jungwon’s body, the space between you now nonexistent. Jungwon’s grip on your waist loosened until his hands trailed down to grip your ass through the very short shorts you were wearing.

“Whatcha think?” His voice was low but you still heard him loud and clear over the music that was blaring through the speakers. His hands knead the flesh of your ass almost like a cat. Whether it was the feeling of his skin on yours or the fact that you haven’t had sex in a while but you were already dripping in your panties. You hummed before leaning close enough to ghost your lips over his.

“I love it. It’s so… us.” You teased him and Jungwon just smirked, “But I think I know what it’s missing.”

He hummed against your lips, “And what’s that bunny?” 

You rolled your hips against his easily feeling the growing bulge in his pants, “what don’t we add the real deal, make it more realistic…” 

It didn’t take a genius to figure out what you meant, but boy did it turn Jungwon on to unimaginable levels. In seconds his lips were on yours, kissing you with such fever it almost took the air right out of your lungs. You ran your fingers through his hair, tugging softly eliciting a groan from his throat.

“Fuck baby you’re so hot.” He groaned against your lips before pulling away, chuckling when you chased after his lips. You didn’t spare a second before latching your lips to his neck, sucking and biting on the skin. Jungwon was sure that you’d leave marks, he didn’t mind though it was always a pain in the ass to explain to the make-up artist. “Are you sure about this bunny?” He didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, nor did he want to force you if you had just been joking. But as you ground your hips against him with an impatient whimper he knew you were too far gone to really say no. So he clicked a few buttons on the screen, his lips between his teeth trying to focus while your lips worked on marking his pretty skin.

As soon as he had the recorder going he grabbed the back of your thighs, hoisting you up until he was on his feet. A gasp fell from your lips and your grip tightened on his neck. He was quick to muffle it with his own lips, kissing you like it was his last day on earth. 

“Wonnie…” You whined out as his lips trailed from your lip to your jaw before finding purchase on your neck. He left open-mouth kisses along your skin before sucking a dark purple mark right along your jugular. 

He sat you down on the desk right next to the microphone, wanting to catch all of the little noises you made. He pulled away from you just long enough to tear his shirt off of his body before practically ripping yours off. 

“I need that Won-” Jungwon quickly silenced you with another heated kiss promising you his hoodie after, which you were going to keep him accountable to. His hands then wandered from your hips to the band of your shorts.

Jungwon’s mind kept wandering back to the fact that he was recording this and it made him so fucking hard thinking about how every time he was going to listen to this song he’d only hear the pretty sounds of your moans in the background. 

He slipped his hand past your waistband and underwear wasting no time in cupping your heat, your slick already pooling in his palm. You were so fucking wet that he was sure that he could slide right in with little resistance.

“Fuck you’re so wet baby, you’re literally dripping on my hand.” You mewled at his dirty words, your brain turning to mush as he finds your clit easily. Your head falls back with a loud moan, not caring if bypassers can hear.

Jungwon watched in amusement as you so quickly were coming undone thanks to just his simple touches. A smirk crept onto his lips when you whined out as he removed his hand from your pussy. However, he grabbed your hips pulling you closer to the edge of the desk before telling you to lay back. If you weren’t so desperate to feel him so deep in you that you see stars then you would be embarrassed with how quick you heeded his words. Goosebumps littered your skin as it made contact with the cool surface. Jungwon made quick work of your shorts and panties, throwing them off to the side somewhere.

His cock twitched in his pants when he caught sight of your drenched hole, mouth watering as the lights gleamed off of your slick. But he wouldn’t last another minute without being inside you.

He pulled the strings of his sweats loose before shoving them down his leg along with his boxers, his cock springing free, the tip red and angry just waiting to be buried in your pussy. You whined out his name when he took the tip and started to tease your clit, “Such a filthy girl, letting me record your pretty whimpers.” He chuckled as he watched your brows furrow as you impatiently waited for him to fuck you. “Imagine how amazing you'd sound when I'm fucking you senseless.” You didn’t get a chance to utter a word before he pushed into you, bottoming out in one go.

You cried out at the sudden intrusion, nails digging into the skin of Jungwon’s forearm. Stars started to cloud your vision when he started to trust into you.

“Fuck I missed this pussy so much bunny.” He groaned against your ear as he bent down, pressing his body against yours. It’s far too long since he was able to last fuck you senseless and god he wasn’t going to do it again.

“Wonnie, it feels- fuck, it feels so good.” You moaned right next to his ear causing him to chuckle, but the sound quickly got caught in his throat when you clenched around him.

“You're so tight 'nd warm around me. Could die being in this pussy.” He groans as his pace turns animalistic, the sweet moans and whimpers leaving your lips only prompting him to go harder. 

“Won- fuck Wonnie, ‘m close,” You choked when the tip of his cock hit your sweet spot before kissing your cervix, the combo nearly making you black out, silent moans falling from your swollen lips.

“Look how pretty you are, taking all of me.” Jungwon cooed as he moved one of his hands to press down on your lower stomach feeling himself move in and out of you. Your back arched against him at the sensation, the knot in your stomach tightening to unimaginable levels. He knew you were close with how hard you were squeezing him, so he moved his hand away from your stomach. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as his thumb circled sharp circles on your little bundle of nerves.

“Jungwon!” You quite literally screamed as you felt your climax wash over you causing your body to jerk violently, but your boyfriend didn’t slow his movements. No, in fact, he sped up even more chasing his own him, throwing your body into overstimulation.

Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes as your first orgasm slowed allowing you to feel the sensitivity of your boyfriend's dick hitting all the right places. The only thing leaving your lips were babbles and Jungwon’s name as he continued to pound into you. God it was the hottest thing he had ever seen and he was sure he’d bust right then and there.

Jungwon could tell that another orgasm was on the tip of your tongue with how your body convulsed under him and how your pussy clenched around him so hard. His thumb found your clit once more causing a loud cry to fall from your lips as you tried to get away from your boyfriend’s hands, but his grip was far too strong.

You couldn’t even give him a warning when you squirted all over his cock, your release coating both of your thighs. Jungwon groaned at the sight as he tipped over the edge spilling deep into your warm cunt. His movements slowed allowing the both of you to ride out your highs until he came to a complete stop.

He placed soft, gentle kisses along your collarbone and chest as you regained your breathing and mind. “You fucking squirted bunny.” Jungwon groaned but you were quick to cover your face in embarrassment, “Don’t be embarrassed baby, it was so fucking hot.” He pulled your hands away from your pace before kissing you deeply, you moaned against his lips as you felt his dick twitch inside of you, “God I need you to do it again.” He bit your bottom lip as he felt his cock grow hard once more. It was safe to say that he had plenty of audio to work with after you were done.

@alvojake | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work

𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.

𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙: @heesitation @riftanswhore @luvyong2z

[kawaiijohn]

Help a queer family of disabled nerds

Hey my name is Dante, I live in the Midwest with three of my best friends. We have four cats, one of which is my babyman whom I love very dearly.

His name is Latke Library Card Mango (LLCM). He's very orange and he's the light of my boyfriend, Kris, and I's life.

Cat pics are great right? Have a few.

A few months ago, latkes chronic bladder stones condition acted up which resulted in two emergency vet visits and a week long stay with his actual vet to get the stone removed.

It was the size of a chickpea.

Here's a photo of his post surgery when he had a nakie tummy. He was very very happy to see us.

He's since recovered, but the cost of this put us back around 1300 dollars in total. He's now on a special diet with rather pricey food to prevent this from happening but it might still act up eventually.

We've paid down some of his debt, but the interest is making it become more and more as we try to pay it down.

On top of this, our pipes backed up into our basement and refused to work suddenly a few weeks ago. We live in a house that is over a century old, and the clay pipes keep getting roots growing into them that causes them to not drain.

The roto had to come out and high pressure the roots out to clear them (which required expensive equipment), This put us back another grand.

To add to everything, our 700+ auto insurance bill is due in November, which is the worst time for this bill to need due, but both myself and Kris drive over ten miles to work during different shifts on opposite ends of town- neither of our jobs have public transit anywhere near them.

We are currently barely making ends meet-

I am a lunch lady at a public high school. I love my job. I feed kids who possibly don't even eat at home some days. I do work I am proud of.

However, I can only work around 25 hours a week without risking losing my insurance as a disabled person. My job does not have longer hour positions available, and I am too disabled to work more than this without ruining my body like I have done in the past.

I have been going without buying groceries out of fear that what little money I have in my account will be needed in an emergency. I will be out of work for a week this month, around Thanksgiving, and during Xmas break- unpaid due to me working in a school. Me being out also means no guaranteed meal every day.

Kris works in a factory. He is currently working 55+ hours a week to make what we can to pay off the bills and keep our house. He only has one and a half knees that hurt all the damn time and is barely eating either just to afford everything. His factory keeps calling for sudden shutdown weeks with little notice at the worst times, and he's the main breadwinner in the house for us.

The other two in our household, one is severely disabled and can barely work 10 hr/week (he is waiting on hearing back to receive SSI) on top of having multiple medical appointments a week to figure out what is wrong with his body and why it keeps failing. The other is a freelance artist who is working her butt off to make money while carting the previous to appointments nearly every day. She is full up on commissions at the moment, but when she opens them I'll reblog her posts.

I really didn't want to make this post. I hate asking for help. But we are drowning and there's no sign of land. None of us can afford to live on our own, nor can we move back in with our parents for various reasons.

All I'm asking for is some help. I don't care how much. Five dollars is five dollars. Five dollars is half an hour less we have to kill ourselves to make ends meet.

Even if we don't make the full amount, every dollar will help us get a bit closer to paying this stuff down so we can afford gas and regular grocery trips again instead of having to save up to go once a month like we are currently doing.

Our goal is 2000 dollars.

Yes, this is the high amount. I do not believe we will ever reach it. I can hope we can raise this much at some point.

But for now that's the dream number.

It's the number that is looming over our heads, telling us to pay up or lose our home.

It's not something we need this very moment, but just what we need in the next few months to be able to afford living without destroying our body or working three jobs/ridiculous hours.

We thank anyone who can spare a few bucks to help us, and if you can't afford it just pass this post along to someone who might be able to.

Please send as friend/family if you can, PayPal is threatening to withhold money sent as transactions now if you receive over a certain amount.

This includes sending things through my ko-fi account- so here's the preferred methods:

Progress:

388.74/2,000

Thank you for reading. I love you.

[mitfloya]

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐒𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬: 𝐑𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐥

pairings. Rafayel x gn!reader

wc. 6.8K

synopsis. He believes that by isolating you, he can protect you from the outside world and ensure your happiness together. In his twisted mind, this is his way of creating a perfect and eternal bond, you’re his muse, his statue of beauty, his own aphrodite.

warnings. The following content contains elements of obsessive behavior, yandere thoughts, stalking, possessive behavior, and may include poorly written narratives. Reader is referred to as 'you'. Proceed with caution, as this writing may be unsettling or uncomfortable for some individuals.

a/n. Hiyaaa! Thank you so much for the people that have helped me make my post manage to slip through the timeline! I kid you not I had to break my spine with this issues I kept running into (the ori yandere Zayne post is gone, I’m sorry for the inconvenience), if any of you have any suggestions on how to make my post made it into the tags please tell them on the comments section. Get ready and have some snacks and hope you enjoy reading another hc I made

♡ Please reblog and comment on this post are much, much appreciated ♡

A manchild…? you love this guy? Me being a slander and simp at the same time

To put it simply, Rafayel is always the damsel in distress and YOU are his knight shining armor. He needs your attention and protection 24/7, you don’t want him to end up dead, do you? The whole universe will miss him. 

First of all, he loves you. Second of all, he hates you. 

You’re like a goldfish, how could you not remember the vows you both made when you were just a little kid?! The mere fact that you failed to recognize his face shattered his heart into pieces, for you hold immense significance in his life.

The weight of your indifference crashed upon him like a tidal wave, leaving his emotions in ruins. It was like a tornado tearing through his soul, causing a gut-wrenching ache that seemed to consume him from within.

It creates a twisted cycle of emotions that he struggles to contain. He yearns for the love you once shared, yet despises you for not remembering the bond you had. 

Perhaps he regrets not taking action in the past to ensure he could always locate you, to have left a distinctive mark upon you as a means of tracking your whereabouts.

You should’ve recognized him at first glance. Where have you been? He thought he lost you, he doesn’t even want to wish upon your death but you make it harder for him not to.

You’ve grown so much and so many changes but you’re still the same person he met at the beach, and it makes him feels so many emotions at once, it’s the first time he has managed to put a rein over his emotions, he could’ve coax you to come to his studio and locked you up, if you were to recognize him.

His heart longed to show much he misses you yet his mind tells him to seek revenge. It’s like his body and soul is splitting. Do you know how much damage you are causing him?

You must understand, my dear, that he is determined not to repeat past mistakes. It is time for him to take drastic measures, to make a promise that will bind you to him forever. He sees you as his ultimate protector, his unwavering shield. From this moment forward, you will never leave his sight again.

In his eyes, you have always belonged to each other, from the very beginning. Your destinies intertwined, your fates entangled. He craves the security of knowing that you are by his side, guarding his every step, his every breath. No longer will he allow even the smallest sliver of distance to separate you.

From the beginning you are his as much as he is yours.

His artistic talent is both his greatest strength and his greatest weapon. Through his art, he immortalizes his love and hatred for you, capturing the complexities of his emotions with every stroke of the brush. His creations serve as a constant reminder of his twisted desires. 

Initially consumed by hatred, he concealed his love, allowing it to resurface gradually, in subtle and tender ways. 

It’s the slowest burn you could ever imagine. Painstakingly slow.

As Rafayel's hatred gradually diminished, he began to express his feelings more openly, albeit subtly, leaving significant hints about the depth of his emotions towards you. Similar to a small forest fire that grows steadily, each progression was deliberate and methodical until it consumed the entire forest, an uncontrollable blaze that can’t be extuingish.

Say goodbye to freedom and welcome to his world, now that you’re his. He will be the center of your universe.

Clinginess is an inherent trait of Rafayel's nature. He craves your presence and attention, unable to bear the thought of being separated from you even for a moment. He will go to great lengths to ensure that you never leave his side.

You've grown accustomed to his playful nature and constant need for attention, but be prepared for an amplified version, as his demands intensify. Good luck dealing with your man ♡

He is a man of pride, he immortalizes you through his art, proudly showcasing pieces dedicated to you at his exhibitions. While abstract in form, this exclusivity serves to intrigue others, leaving them pondering what makes you so special in his eyes.

Unknown to you hidden away within his personal stash, there is a gallery dedicated solely to you. Every piece of artwork revolves around your existence, capturing his obsession with meticulous detail. The walls are adorned with portraits, each stroke of the brush reflecting his twisted love for you.

But at the very least, he showers you with lots of love and affection, no more holding back.

In relationships, he presents himself as a calm and romantic partner, radiating an aura of serenity akin to the sea. He enjoys spending quality time with you, whether it be casual outings or simply sharing space in silence. With him, you will never feel alone.

But do not be deceived by the calm waters, for they possess the ability to draw you into the depths of darkness, leaving you submerged and unable to resurface. His obsession remains unpredictable, much like the ever-changing tides of the sea. 

Oh, how you've stumbled into his clutches the moment you made that fateful vow. There is no turning back, my dear. You have fallen into the siren's trap, lured by his haunting charm. You are now forever entwined in his grasp, unable to break free. You should have thought twice before crossing paths with him if you weren't planning to stay.

He has two preferred methods of dealing with nuisances. He may choose to be smug and show off his superiority, rubbing his success in their faces. He revels in flaunting his success and talents, using them as a means to intimidate and belittle those who dare to steal you away.

However, if they persist, he is unafraid to resort to physical means, utilizing violence to eliminate them from your life. He goes to extreme lengths, even shedding blood and concealing the evidence of his actions, all in the name of safeguarding your well-being and maintaining his possessive hold over you.

His possessiveness knows no bounds, his desire to claim you as his own overpowering any sense of reason. He will go to great lengths to ensure that no one else can possess you, viewing you as his ultimate masterpiece.

When faced with difficulty or resistance from you, Rafayel won't hesitate to take drastic measures. He is willing to use any means necessary, including drugs, to put you to sleep and kidnap you. He will isolate you in his studio, ensuring that you will be together forever.

His studio, the place where he creates his art, becomes both a sanctuary and prison for you. Within its walls, he controls every aspect of your existence, dictating your every move and stifling your individuality. It is a place where his obsession can flourish unchecked.

You will forever remain under his possession, as he claims you and binds you eternally.

© 2024 mitfloya — all rights reserved. kindly refrain from altering, translating, or repost my works on any platform without my consent, do not claim my content as yours.

[yutasbellybuttonpiercing]

#1 – I hate you

kinktober 2024 — #1

pairing: park wonbin x reader

au/genre: pure filthy smut without much plot, college!au, non-idol!au, popular!wonbin

word count: 1525 words

warnings: lying to your only friend Anton 😔, hate fuck (everyone just has a big fat ego problem), backshots, hair pulling, choking, reader is addressed as a girl, finger sucking (???), manhandling, slight overstimulation, a shimmer of fluffy feelings (but they do not get vocalized, not really), nicknames of both praising and degrading nature, dirty talk, unprotected sex (DON’T YOU DARE!), a tiny bit of cum play…?

a/n: kinktober day one yippie! this gem has been sitting in my files since forever… I was thinking about making this longer, but I kinda like it like this! enjoy! <3

taglist: @rjreins @meowniee @deezbin @ant-onie @ablackbtsstan @gacktsa

College parties. Some love them, some hate them. For you, it's all about who's attending – or rather: if he's attending.

Park Wonbin. God, even thinking of his name makes your blood boil. He is a player, basically, and he's absolutely full of himself, or so you’re convinced. He thinks he's better than everyone else, prettier and more popular… which he is. He's always surrounded by a group of people telling him just how great he is, and he always sports that smug smirk that makes you want to dart over and shove him face first into a sewer. He’s just so hot…

“Why are you staring at Wonbin?” Anton asks casually, as if he hasn’t just dropped the most dangerous question of the night. Anton is your one close friend that you've met in your economics class, and you can't believe he's just asked you that.

“Because he sucks!” You retort defensively, as if that would excuse your shameless stare down with the back of Wonbin’s head.

"I don't get what you don't like about him," Anton pushes, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall, his voice almost too soft to reach your ears over the bass booming through the room. "He seems nice."

“Everything. He’s the embodiment, the epitome of a full of himself rich kid with good genetics,“ you say much too quickly, and it just confuses Anton more.

“Has he ever done anything to you?“ He counters, not letting this go. He certainly thinks you’re being unreasonable. 

You halt, a faint blush appearing on your cheeks, “w-well, n-not in this life, not yet!“ You reply hastily, now too flustered to go back to staring holes into Wonbin’s perfectly v-shaped backside. “It's just that his pure existence gets me so mad that I can't stand being in the same room as him.

"He's infuriating. Just look at him. God, he is obnoxious," you exaggerate before stepping away. You don't have to ruin your night by staring at the way his pearly white teeth sit so aggravatingly perfect in his mouth, or so you tell yourself… 

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

"Ah, pretty girl, and you're still coming back for more..." Wonbin muses from behind you. You don't even have to look back at him to know he's sporting that smirk that you hate so much.

"Just shut up and fuck me."

And he doesn't need to be told twice. Just as you asked, he pushes in, burying his length inside you entirely. He doesn't give you time to adjust because he knows you don't want him to, and instead sets a brutal pace from the beginning. His hips crash into yours, his grip on your hips is surely going to leave bruises that will remind you of this shameful encounter for the next week or so. Just like every time, you try holding back your moans. You're giving him enough satisfaction by letting him fuck you, he doesn't need to get his ego inflated by knowing how fucking good he's making you feel. Although, you fail as soon as one of his hands leaves your hip to grip your hair instead, pulling you back. The all too familiar sting in your scalp makes you clench around him, a choked whine leaving your throat as he forces you to arch your back. He knows what he's doing when he holds onto the roots of your hair instead, hand just atop of your head as he pulls harshly while his tip pleasantly abuses your sweet spot. 

"You love this, don't you, doll face?" He teases, as if he's not feeling the way you clench around him, as if he's not able to see how your wetness starts dripping down your thighs. 

"D-don't talk," you bring out, and he lets go of your hair, the wave of relief after the stinging pain fueling the knot forming inside you. You can't give him the satisfaction of cumming this early again, so you try moving away from the pleasure, but he is quick to wrap a hand around your throat.

"Ohhh no, you're going to take it like the good girl you are," he says and the amusement is evident in his voice. You whine as his hand leaves your throat alone again, your upper body falling onto the mattress in exhaustion. His movements never falter as he pushes you to lay down on your stomach for him. This way, he has better access to push two of his digits into your mouth. Automatically you begin sucking on them, swirling your tongue around them as you whine pathetically.

"Oh, fuck yeah," Wonbin groans, fingers pushing down on your tongue, "you're clenching around me so hard, pretty. What, are you gonna cum already?"

"Yes," you admit quietly.

"What? Sorry, couldn't hear you with your mouth full like this."

"Yes! Fuck," you cry out, although it's still muffled by his fingers. He seems satisfied, angling his hips slightly different to hit that exact spot that makes you feel him all the way up in your stomach with how deep he is. 

A few more thrusts and he sends you crashing over the edge, walls clamping down on his cock like there’s no tomorrow. Yet, he is not finished with you; he pulls out and manhandles you onto your back, immediately pushing your legs as far up as they go against your chest, and pushes back in in one swift motion, groaning deeply at the feeling.

Your head feels cloudy from your orgasm, and you have to really concentrate on actively hating him right now because, honestly? With the way his grown out black hair softly sticks to his glowing, sweaty skin, his plush lips are parted as he lets out sighs of deep pleasure ignited by no one but you, and the subtle yet undeniable scrunch of his brows, you’d fall in love with him right now if you didn’t remind yourself that you’re supposed to hate his guts… for whatever reason.

“That’s it… you’re a little slut, aren’t you? Claiming to hate me, yet you let me do this to you…” he grunts breathlessly, pushing his cock in to the very hilt, watching intensely as it disappears between your folds repeatedly.

“Sh-shit… I do hate you-,” you cut yourself off by moaning involuntarily as he presses the pad of his thumb against your clit, “don’t act so cocky, you- fuck… you love this.”

He glances up into your eyes, a mischievous smirk on his lips despite his eyes being glossy from pleasure, “I never denied that, princess. I never said I hated you. I’m just fucking you like I hate you because that’s what seems to get you off the most.”

“Fuck you,” you retort, attempting to glare at him, but he looks so pretty, and whatever he’s doing in between your legs makes your toes curl and your eyes roll back. 

“I know no one’s ever fucked you better,” he states, completely ignoring your words, “that’s why you keep crawling back like the needy little slut that you are… you say you hate me, but you’d go crazy without this dick.”

"You're so- f-full of yourself," you point out weakly, pushing your hips towards him for an even better angle.

At that, he chuckles, "you're the one full of me right now..."

"Sh-shut-," but instead of finishing your sentence you cry out in pure pleasure as he rams his dick right into your sweet spot, rubbing his thumb into your clit with such precision it makes you see actual stars. 

"Cum on this dick again, I know you want to," Wonbin urges, his own breathing heavy as he nears the finish line as well.

"I hate you, fuck- I fucking-," you moan pathetically, body tensing up as your high quickly approaches. Wonbin delivers a few more hard thrusts before sending you off into a mind-blowing orgasm that leaves you shivering and panting.

Your walls clamping down on him trigger his climax as well, and just in time, he pulls out, painting the clenching mess between your legs with his hot cum, a choked groan on his lips. He twitches and shivers as he brushes his tip through the sticky substances that mixes with your juices, earning a few whimpers from you as he rubs it over your oversensitive clit. 

“That’s it…” he mumbles, eyes trained on where you were connected just seconds prior, “that’s my good girl…”

And even in your hazy mind, the word catches on.

My…?

© 2024 YUTASBELLYBUTTONPIERCING all rights reserved — please DO NOT translate, take, nor repost any of my works.

[jackiepackiee]

Hear me out. What if one day Chuuya finds out that the reader was also experimented on.

TW:scars, leaked information, trauma

Chuuyax reader

𝒞𝒽𝓊𝓊𝓎𝒶 𝓍 𝐸𝓍𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒾𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝑒𝒹! 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 - ����𝒶𝒷 𝒶𝒷𝓊𝓈𝑒

𝒯𝓎𝓅𝑒 - 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒸𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒹𝒾𝒶𝓁𝑜𝑔𝓊𝑒

Chuuya is DEVASTATED

How come his sweet and gentle lover has been hurt

He would take every ounce of pain from you into himself if given the chance

And his initial reaction, however he found out, will be hard to stomach

He’s in shock

“No… no no that’s not true. You had that good childhood, and you’ve been treated good by everyone. Just like you deserve, right? Right?”

Wide eyes traveled the room mindlessly. His brain was too occupied by thoughts to see anything beyond patches of color and light.

It was obvious what was going on in his head.

First, his experience. What he knows of the pain that still cause shakes and shivers in his body. The absolute mental devastation caused by the storm in his heart and mind from knowing his past.

Secondly, he sees you in the same position. Screaming, blood over your plush skin. Eyes dazed, far away from the world around you. Whatever world you may have been in that allowed you to be treated so poorly. Because if you had gotten hurt, it must’ve been a world Chuuya wasn’t part of.

“Right?”

“I’m sorry…”

“Sorry? No, fuck. Don’t be sorry, don’t you dare say that.”

In a split second he crossed the distance and pulled you into his chest.

“I’ll kill them all.”

Of course he would lie down his life for you, but this information increases that tenfold

You’re not fragile, that much is obvious, but after learning how close you were to death he strives for your life

Whatever it takes

“Chuuya, I do not need a bodyguard. It’s just down the block! And this boy needs a walk anyways!”

The dog barked in agreement, sorta. But Chuuya would not budge. No puppy eyes work on him when it comes to your safety.

“No. You can talk him on the walk, and go to the market. But one of my subordinates is going with you. I have some emails to write.”

“But!”

“No buts, love. It’s for your own good.”

He pet the doggies head while speaking sternly to you. Little did you know, it wasn’t just one subordinate. He had a whole team on your saftey detail at all times outside of work and home.

And if those scientists are still alive?

Not anymore… it will be a MASSACRE that the news will cover for months

“Hey baby, did you see the news this morning?”

You asked, on a whim as you scribbled a shitty signature on some paperwork.

“No, why?”

“Some old facilities blew up. It was crazy. Reports said none of the victims died in the explosion. They all died by these terrible and violent ways. Like torture and stuff… gives me the chills.”

That was his cause, you. The cute way you told him about every little thing you heard. The funny actions you do to make show of your words.

All his to watch, and not theirs to ruin.

“No baby, I didn’t hear about that. How interesting.”

I hate to bring it up, but it makes him feel worse about himself

How can you, someone who went through the same as him, still be so kind?

Why isn’t he like you?

He doesn’t see himself as sweet or gentle, he’s a monster and a threat to everyone he loves

And he thinks he lacks the humanity that you “still have” that allowed you to grow so kind

You stalked into the bedroom, tense at the fact that the door was closed. He usually would leave it open?

“Chuu? I saw your shoes at the door, I know you’re home-”

There he was, his ginger hair on full display. Hat in his hands to his chest. Said chest on his knees, curled into a ball of black clothing.

His torso expanded and contracted with each exchange of air.

“…was it work? Meetings with Mori su-”

Words failed. Minuscule things such as meetings at work would cause this. Would cause Chuuya Nakahara to cry.

“You weren’t supposed to be home.”

“…what?”

“You weren’t supposed to be home. I was supposed to be alone, and… and I- I dunno.”

Whines left his mouth when you kissed his cheek.

As if Judas to Jesus, he burned at your affection. Unworthy of something so…human.

“What did I do to deserve you?”

“Living, and loving. That’s what you’ve done.”

This isnt meant to be spicy, but sex is sex 🤷🏻‍♀️

And obviously if you’re going to be doing that, he’ll see your scars

For a couple who both has their fair share of scars, this likely isn’t the way the experiments were revealed

It takes a hell of a lot of trust to show yourself so vulnerable to anyone

But he loves each indent

He sees not the pain, but the growth then on

When you cuddle, he’ll get dazed and start rubbing circles on section of skin

Doesn’t mind them at all, even if they are dark and large

He has the same, and is no hypocrite

Not proofread lol

[zekeyboy]

I love apprentice adam as much as the next guy. Probably more than the next guy to be honest considering i want him to be alive so badly. HOWEVER. Let’s be real. Apprentice adam is so unlikely to exist for many many reasons.

Adam is not like Lawrence ideology-wise. Lawrence is an upper class white guy who like. he views his life to be ruined by these scum. these people lesser than him (ex. adam, for stalking him & photographing him, tapp, for going off the edge, so on and so forth) and its expanded on when we see the deleted scene from saw 7 where kramer talks to gordon about how like the bottom rung of society will always pull the good men down with them or whatever. like the fact that there was one trap where kramer puts a homeless man in the glass coffin and he has to like. eat shards of glass that got cut. really hammers in how kramer really views people - and in turn, the ideologies he pushes onto Lawrence. Adam is a highschool drop-out who’s, presumably, very involved in punk culture. He was originally supposed to have a huge photo of a Cuban revolutionary on the wall of his apartment. He’s probably never had a real job. In the original script, he’s very open about hating cops. He is the complete opposite of “Important White Male” Lawrence Gordon - and the perfect counter to Lawrence’s game (because, let’s be real - it was always Lawrence centric. I will come back to this later.)

Adam has always been considered the lower level of society. A “bottom-feeder.” He’s a drop-out, his line of work is very illegal, and - judging from the Scott Tibbs documentary, he’s been in that kind of crowd for a while and has forced himself to adapt to it. Trying to keep my personal view of Adam out of this analysis, he’s definitely spent a lot of time around the kind of people that kramer views as scum. He’s also, unsurprisingly, very sweet at his core. Look at how he talks to Amanda in the deleted SAW III scene, how he jokes around with those ladies. He’s like. A nice guy. Scott Tibbs even says so. Lawrence, however, isn’t the kindest. He might put on a face of nice, good guy, but he’s.. What people might expect Adam to be at their core.

Lawrence had his life together, and was dragged down by a bad decision. Adam has a different view and perspective on the world than Lawrence does. he was never at the top and pulled down. he’s been at the bottom and he works with what he has and i really like. i dont think that surviving his trap would change his perspective. i don’t think he would suddenly realize why kramer does what he does. It really wouldn’t help him. However, even if he was going to change his view of the world…

John Kramer does NOT like that guy. Like it’s very clear how biased he is here. Adam’s tape doesn’t even have rules. He doesn’t have a goal. He’s simply told that he might die, that he’s pathetic, and that he needs to ‘do something about it.’ He isn’t given rules, he isn’t given a consequence, he’s given such vague instructions. Lawrence, however, gets clear rules. Kill Adam by 6, or you and your family die.

The kicker, to me, is the fact that Lawrence fails his test. He doesn’t kill Adam by 6. He fails his test. Adam, however, is still alive at 6 - which would imply that he won. Now, I understand that the key was in the tub and that’s how he was supposed to get out. But even without that aspect of it going down the drain and him being doomed from the start, Kramer has a clear biased perspective on the two of them.

Lawrence failed, and is going to die. Adam didn’t fail - it was a design flaw, if anything, and he’s paying for it. Why does John save Lawrence, but not Adam?

It’s not Adam’s test, is the reason. It’s very focused on Lawrence. Anybody could’ve been in Adam’s place - he just had the bad luck of being selected as the photographer by Tapp. Adam was only used as a tool to counteract Lawrence - similar to the janitor in Saw VI for Easton. Adam was never intended to survive, but more to be used as a tool to teach.

Kramer, also, isn’t very fond of impoverished people. Amanda is a special case - but she’s almost more of a trophy if anything. If I got into John and Amanda’s relationship it’d have to be a completely new post, but he’s the kind of person who thinks that you just have to pick yourself up by the bootstraps i think. The fact that he, as I mentioned before, has a deleted trap where he puts a homeless person in the original glass coffin…. Is enough for me to figure out how he really views people below him.

I could probably go on. I probably will go on in my head. I’m very bad at organizing my thoughts. I hope this was comprehensive. I did my best to not accidentally mix in my own personal Adam thoughts that aren’t canon to the films (i have a lot.)

[naamahdarling]

Two days ago and I was comfortable enough that this was the right choice that I was able to make the call to have Smooch put to sleep. I am sure now. I wish I weren't. It hurts to see him like this. The vet is out or I would move it forward. We could do the emergency vet but I literally do not think I could do it without our vet and my favorite nurse. That feels selfish but when she answered the phone yesterday the comfort was... astonishing.

I'm trying to prepare. I've been waiting for this for a long time, which is why it's bearable at all. I have entertainment, I have an art project to memorialize him ready to go for whenever I feel like it. I have plans to make a couple of keepsakes. But there's going to be a hole in my life so much bigger than his frail little body. It's the end of part of me. He has been there in my future for so long, thinking about not having him there is like vertigo, or a reverse haunting of some kind. It's a Wrongness, part of the world about to be unmade. He is genuinely part of my identity. I'm all these things that I consider core parts of me -- queer, funny, creative, curious, a little clever, loving, an artist, a survivor, my friends' friend, my blood sister's sister, my chosen sister's sibling, my father's daughter, my boyfriend's partner...and I'm Dried Pickle Man's person.

Here at home IRL and online, and everywhere I go, to almost anyone I speak to at all, I have been his human for 13 years and 27 days.

And that isn't enough apparently, because Sid, too, is slipping away. I...I don't know that we can save him, either. His digestive issues are keeping him from eating, we can't stop the flare, a feeding tube won't fix it, meds aren't helping him. He's losing weight very fast. Vet is at a loss. I usually have a pretty good idea of what to do next or what needs to happen. I have nothing for him. The specialist might know. How the hell do we keep affording it?

And Raleigh. Oh god. Raleigh. If we can't afford the surgery or if it fails. What do we do?

What if we lose all three?

What if my boyfriend loses BOTH his boys? Raleigh alone is going to devastate him. Not just sad, like ordinary grief, I mean I have never ever in my life seen an animal love a human this much.

He's already struggling with his depression and ADHD. He will suffer and there is nothing I can do to stop this all from happening. I can't dig into a hidden well of trying harder, I can't outsmart it. I can't comfort him by saying that it is hard but possible to influence this. I hate seeing him in pain.

And I'm scared for me. I am afraid it will just ruin him and I will lose him too, until and unless he can recover. And I already spend so much time alone. Even my art is...gone. Too painful. Writing isn't really possible, either. My body barely feels like mine these days. I have so fucking little to hang on to. My cats are one of the last things I have of myself. One of the only good things I have in my day to day life.

It's all an absolutely terrifying cascade. Unlike a lot of situations where I'm scared of the future, this isn't me afraid of unlikely scenarios that are several crises away. This is very real. And I'm usually not scared for my boyfriend like this.

It won't kill us. You can come back from something like this, probably, I know people survive much worse and I'm bombarded with reminders of that a dozen times a day. But it can take such a long time to come back, and...sometimes you just...Come Back Wrong.

I'm not often genuinely completely helpless. I am helpless now.

[midnight-bay-if]

Hi! Love the demo! Can't wait for more!

But do write at your own pace, would hate to see another author with great potential burnt themselves out. ♥️

Just saw the ROs dying in MC's arm ask, and can't help but think my MC probably won't be able to move on lol

So if the ROs somehow turned to a ghost or like having other consciousness that makes them able to see the MC. Seeing the MC having a real tough time dealing with the loss, or not dealing with them at all, slowly ruining themself both physically and mentally. What are the ROs thoughts/reacts/feels?

(Hi, anon! Thank you so much ❤️ Sorry this took so long.)

S: They stand guard as a spectral sentinel through an endless abyss, watching but unable to interfere. It is torture. Every time a stray tear slips down your cheek or a cry of frustration tears through your throat, they yearn to reach out as they once did, to rest their forehead against your own and whisper, "I'm here". But they can't. They utter words of reassurance into your ear, knowing you will not hear, whilst in the same breath chastising themselves for leaving you.

Even if you will never know the truth, they will stay. They will guard. And they will pray for the day you set them aside.

Rain: They hear your cries even when they have ceased; they replay inside their mind, encasing them in a hurricane of regret. They are trapped inside a whirlpool of their own making, destined to watch your sorrow behind the veil that separates life from death. In your darkest hours, they curl up next to you and place a comforting hand on yours, despite the fact neither of you can feel it.

A part of them hopes that one day, by some miracle, you will. "I never left. I never will."

Taj: This isn't what they wanted. It is a rare individual who prepares readily for death, but Taj tried. Their entire life has been a set of new contingencies, readying themselves for sacrifice. Even after meeting you, they bruised you with pommelling words and fracturing remarks so you could learn to raise your head above them. They hoped to have taught you enough that your strength would keep your head high even after they were gone.

Only now do they realise they were planning for the wrong thing. They should have fought to stay alive and remain by your side instead. "I'm sorry, Koel," they whisper into the endless space between you, "I failed you."

N: They have never been one to sit idle. At first, they allowed themselves to be consumed by the weight of your grief, basking in it even in death. Before meeting you, death was not even a passing thought in their consciousness. Death was something they brought to others, not the other way around. You changed everything. For the first time, N feared death but, in the same breath, became overjoyed with the notion that someone might miss them after they were gone.

Bearing witness now to what that means is much more crushing than they ever anticipated.

So, they do what they do best. They plot. If it is possible to find a way to reach you, to find their way back through the endless nothing, they will. Even if it takes the rest of your life. And should they fail, they will be the first to take your hand and welcome you to eternity.

Umbra: It feels familiar. But also different. The weightlessness of death encompasses them like an old friend, but it feels emptier than ever before. Perhaps because you are no longer within reach. They took it for granted, the time that you had. A lifetime would not have been enough for them, so how do they come to terms with less?

They see your struggle, and they know you feel it, too. Both of you, two sides of the same coin, tugging at the cut string of fate, hoping it will weave itself back together. It doesn't. But that does not mean there is nothing to be done. They have been here before, suffering a crushing isolation to keep watching from the shadows. They are the shadows. Every time a shadow seems darker than black, that is where they are.

They were promised a lifetime with you; they intend to check that in.

"I'm not going anywhere," they whisper, standing guard for your grief. "Not again."

[bl00dst41ned]

Can you write a fic about Jobe with a reader who needs academic validation? It’s hard out here girl😭

*.·:·.✦ break needed ✦.·:·.*

pairing: jobe bellingham x reader

summary: in which school is beating our ass

author's note: requested by anons. mixed two in one. thanks for the idea because i relate to it a bit too much, school is beating our asses. no banner i'm tired of them stupid ass shit (also my requests are CLOSED ASF)

word count: 372

“Babe ?” Jobe called as he entered your room.

However, you didn’t respond. Your headphones blocked any sound, leaving you to only  hear Jorja’s voice.

Your bubble opened once you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“HA !” You jumped, turning around abruptly to be faced with your boyfriend, who let out a quick laugh.

“You’ve been working all day, you need a break”

“I need to finish studying”

You kept your eyes on your notes, earning a sight from Jobe. You had a test the next day and like each time, you were stressed.

Having a bad grade was your biggest fear. It could ruin your entire self-esteem and make you feel unworthy and lose all confidence. You had to succeed.

“Babe, you can still get back to it later”

“I don’t know I ju- Come here” Jobe cut you off, opening his arms for you to get in.

You did so, burying your head in his chest. He caressed your head, giving you kisses on top of the head occasionally.

“You should not stress like that for your tests”

“I know, I just can’t” You spoke softly, soothed by his touch. “Failing scares me so much”

Jobe had caught onto that side of you a long time ago. How you would isolate yourself to study, not eat for the day and sleep late just to study. He hated that you weren’t taking care of your health for school.

“Your grades do not define who you are. You have a great personality, you’re the prettiest ever, and you’re clever. An hour in your life is not defining your intelligence”

His words made your heart flutter.  Jobe always knew what to tell you or what to do. Everyday, he showed how much of a great boyfriend he was.

“I love you, no matter if you’re not the best at school” “But since it’s so important, let’s go eat and I’ll help you study”

You responded a little “I love you too” and both of you sat up to go eat. Jobe headed towards the door, turning around seeing you still seated. You put your arms up, reaching for him to pick you up. To which he did, with a laugh.

“You’re a literal kid”

like and repost for support

masterlist for more

[lunarrumor]

random valgrace headcanons

- leo cooks for jason all the time because he likes it (it reminds him of his mom and when she taught him how to make his favorite dishes) and his love language is most definitely gift giving because he’s not so good with words

- but one day leo was up all night working on some new machine (again) and jason decides he wants to give him a break so he tries to make some simple pasta. butttt they didn’t really have cooking lessons at camp jupiter and the water overflows and he burns the sauce and when leo gets back jason’s hair is mysteriously red and the kitchen looks like something exploded (it did. the sauce bubbled up and went everywhere)

- however they go camping together once and leo makes a fire and by the time he gets back from going to use the restroom jason has caught a wild bird and is frying it up

- leo makes jason random little trinkets all the time

- when leo and jason are having meals with the seven + reyna and nico they’ll tap messages to each other back and forth in morse code until annabeth gets annoyed by all the banging

- leo loves horror movies and jason hate hate hates them

- when jason gets drunk he likes using a lot of big words except he’s too drunk to use them correctly so he just hopes no one notices (leo does but doesn’t mention it…. without fail he’ll look at him and go “how r u so smart even when so drunk” and jason will give him a dopey smile)

- they go to college in new rome together and visit piper at her mortal school all the time

- they also got an apartment together because yeaa it might be moving fast but they totally didn’t move in together because they’re soulmates or whatever. naaaa it would js be silly not to right ? they shouldn’t *both* be paying rent when they’re gonna be at the same place *anywayss* and jason doesn’t cook and leo doesn’t clean so really it’s just a responsible roommate setup rigggght (aka the lie they tell themselves bc they really js wanna have the security of seeing each other everyday and live a wholesome life where they don’t have to worry if the next time they visit the other they’re not gonna be there anymore)

- but they’re both still worried to ruin the relationship because it’s so new and they’ve been pining for so long so they get separate rooms. except leo is always crawling into jason’s bed at night or jason is playing a movie in leo’s while he works (leo’s barely paying attention but jason likes doing it so he can sneak him snacks because leo has a habit of forgetting to eat while working. and every so often leo will make a goofy joke about the movie n he gets so amazed by how smart n funny leo is. n leo likes the background noise and jason’s little snorts when a character is being dumb. and mostly he just likes his presence. how they can just sit in silence together and without leo having to say anything jason will know how much he cares. how much he appreciates jason caring about him)

- and eventually leo just stops going back to his room, unless he’s working on something, because he likes the smell of jason and waking up with him and bothering him while he does schoolwork. his things slowly start appearing in jason’s room until he’s basically moved in and one day he comes home to jason rummaging through his drawers and he’s like uhh ??? and jason’s like ah rats i was gna surprise you….. i cleared out my closet and got a dresser so that you don’t have to keep going back and forth and i can totally put it back if u don’t want that i just thought maybe you might want to because you haven’t rlly slept here in so long anyway and…. and leo kisses him n grabs the pile of clothes and carries it off to *their* room. and so leo’s old room becomes his new work space

- on this same vein leo will get so distracted while he’s working on a new project that he’ll forgot all about time and sometimes he’s doing this n jason comes in and tells him the time and he drops everything and makes dinner bc his stomach grumbling is fine but when he realizes jason probably hasn’t had a real meal since the last time he cooked now *thats* motivation

- of course jason doesn’t always need him to cook (in fact leo starts trying to teach him no matter how disastrous it is at first. i guess multitasking in battle doesn’t equate to handling the chaos of a kitchen ? but jason actually gets pretty good as long as he’s looking at a list of instructions) but leo just likes all the compliments he gets from jason about his food and how he’ll sit with him in the kitchen and come up behind him with his hands on his waist (jason gets really excited whenever leo asks him to do something like bring him some seasoning or a ladle because he likes being helpful)

- jason also started picking up food after his morning class and bringing leo breakfast because he is *not* a morning person. he’ll also order food when leo’s been cooped up in his room for some time and he knows he wants to keep working so jason brings his lil surprise in along with his laptop and they eat together (with jason making sure leo takes a bite every now n then and eats enough before it gets cold)

- jason wakes up at 6 am everyday to go to the gym, shower, and go to classes meanwhile leo doesn’t have class till 1 and even then he’s late sometimes. because as u could assume leo stays up late at night and jason has trouble staying up past midnight (he always falls asleep during their movie nights even though he tries his very hardest not to but leo is so toasty he just can’t help it. and leo always tucks him in and takes off his glasses)

- also neither of them like waking up alone on the couch in the middle of the night (which is fine when leo falls asleep first, jason just picks him up and carries him to bed. but leo isn’t exactly built for dragging 6 ft men across an apartment floor) so they get a pullout sofa for this exact reason (not a bed pullout couch. he would still have to lift jason off and jason is a heavyy sleeper. he had to sleep through a lot of chaos at camp jupiter. they get one of those couches that extends into more couch and pile a bunch of blankets on it for movie nights. and leo makes popcorn with an ungodly amount of butter)

- leo runs warm and when his emotions spike his powers act up so he stress sweats and everytime it happens jason will cool him off with a nice breeze

- on the flip side jason is always cold so he’s always snuggling up to leo (totally the only reason. definitely not that he’s touch starved) and in the winter they’re literally attached at the hip. jason will not let him go no way no how he *will* stand/walk/lay/sit with his arms around leo at all costs (the cost is piper grossing out at their gushiness)

- jason’s bear hugs are leo’s favorite things in the world he could stay wrapped in those arms forever

- jason and leo live in the same apartment complex as frank and hazel and they become a lot closer

- percy and annabeth live down the hall and leo loves to ding dong ditch them

- annabeth randomly knocks on their door sometimes because she wants leo’s help figuring out the logistics for an architectural project of hers and jason will follow so he can play video games with percy (yeah i said it, percy and leo teach him how to play and he likes it more than he thought he would)

- every week they all get lunch together with reyna, piper, and nico

- nico comes over at first to hang out with jason but he still finds leo…. odd but eventually they bond over their love for horror movies and laughing at jason

- leo loves to sketch when he gets bored in class and he’ll be spacing out drawing until he realizes that his whole page is full of jason’s face from every possible angle

- leo fell first but jason said i love you first (after a lot of coaching from piper)

[phoenixcatch7]

Really interesting how, iirc, of all the crimes sj got charged with, being an (ex?) demonic cultivator wasn't one of them.

The child abuse and the brothel going, the vow breaking and murder and arson, none of those could be connected to lbhs behaviour (at the time he was still in disguise as a human cultivator).

But accusing him of demonic cultivation? Training under famous criminal wyz? That would have carried a much bigger weight in the cultivation world than one off instances he did as a kid before he joined the mountain decades ago. The rest of the stuff, yeah it's nasty, but it's not cultivation ruining in bed with demons blood drinking pagan rituals in their good Christian righteous jianghu taboo.

If airplane had wanted lbh would have found or faked all the evidence necessary, regardless of if lbh even thought sj actually had done it, just like the rest of his crimes.

It would have been pretty interesting, though, if sj had done it. Had learned demonic cultivation and kept learning it in secret for when his own crippled cultivation failed, giving him a huge edge just in understanding how the enemy thinks. Knowing their tactics, their average capabilities, how to fudge a talisman, how to draw out someone else's energy by force if necessary. (One of my favourite fics for this is The Original Goods does some Original Good, totally check it out. Spymaster Sqq ftw.)

Now, back in svsss canon, can you imagine if sy could do demonic cultivation?? After throwing lbh in the abyss for being a demon, after running from him, after xinmo, after marrying him. Wife plot twist! Damsel rushes to the aid of his heavily injured demonic husband, busts out some impossible demonic moves to save him!

Lbh would find that very validating, very confusing, and more than likely Really Quite Hot.

How sy would even know he could do demonic cultivation, I'll let you decide, but imagine if there was also a body swap later and sy used both demonic and human qi like he'd been doing it his entire life. (I will also rec Inappropriate Use May Result in Strange Side Effects because it is also really good!)

But the fact that Sqq has a history of demonic cultivation and then marries a half demon emperor who can use both naturally? And the way sy treated lbh supposedly because of his fear/hate of the demonic? Only for it to turn out that he himself had been using demonic energy before lbh had even been born?? But also the horrible things sj went through as a demonic cultivator 'in training' under wyz? Leaving 'Sqq' with that trauma? The potential fear that lbh would enact or even just catch Sqq in the blast radius of all of that again?

Sqq accidentally stumbling on a plausible reason to explain his meta knowledge panic without a system reveal? Demonic cultivation trauma? A way to relieve his husbands guilt and own lingering trauma of rejection?? To prove to him that the abyss wasn't his fault or of any innate disgust of his very being??? He'd be all over that like system on an ooc breach.

Also, it would be extremely cool.

[mushiemadarame]

Getting Started BL RecList

Back in 2022, when I first started watching BL – though it was far from my first foray into the genre* –, I went in guns blazing without much of an idea where to start and where it would lead me. Now, in 2024, I have almost 500 BL series and movies under my belt and I realise it might feel a little overwhelming to choose where to start for someone who dives into the current landscape for the first time. That’s why I thought I would compile a completely personal and biased rec list for beginners who might want a little guidance, completely based on my own experience and journey into this amazing and highly entertaining world. Links for where to watch are in an alternate version of this post because of the Tumblr link limit and if you have trouble finding any or specific versions of any of the shows, my askbox is at your disposal. Hope you enjoy!

*while I’ve been reading Yaoi Manga since I was about 11, excluding very few exceptions, it’s only recently that I’ve gotten into the genre on the screen. That is to say, I wasn’t entirely clueless to begin with.

The Fluff - Happy endings assured, along with some side-stitching comedies.

⇢About Youth - Just so heartwarming and lovely, it has a great OST and an interesting family conflict theme to it. It’s cute and it’s wonderful. ⇢Bad Buddy - Such a classic even though it’s fairly recent. I think it’s perfect for a beginner with its classic enemies-to-lovers dynamic and a Romeo and Juliet kind of deal going on. ⇢Cherry Magic! JPN/Cherry Magic! TH - I know some might want to kill me for what I’m about to say but I personally didn’t love the Japanese version of this story and very much adored the Thai one. However, the Japanese show is a must-watch because it’s definitely a staple in Japanese BL and even though I didn’t love the series itself, the movie played me like a fiddle. The Thai version immediately became one of my absolute favourites, on like, episode one. So… give both a try. + Movie ⇢Fish Upon the Sky - I had no idea people hated this show as much as they do, I actually love it. It was the first BL that had me in stitches and even upon rewatches, it hasn’t failed to live up to what I first thought of it. This is just pure crack and it’s awesome. ⇢Kieta Hatsukoi - Sweet, so very very sweet. It’s Japan’s brand of sweet too which some might find a little unsatisfactory. When I first gave it a try, I didn’t quite get the hype but then it went in interesting places for me and now I highly recommend it. + Thai remake ⇢My School President - THEE high school BL. I have watched many others and none of them have impressed me and entertained me like this one. I even like the music. GMMTV did not know how much gold it had struck when they signed GemFourth. ⇢Old Fashion Cupcake - A mature story about finding love and yourself later in life in the guise of a fluffy show. This is very much a case of more than meets the eye and everything from the aesthetics to the story elevates it to a classic. ⇢Our Dining Table - The perfect exploration of found family for me. I love this show so much, I cried almost every single episode and it really really surprised me in many ways. It’s truly a warm, comforting show with subtle imagery and masterful acting. The main actor is incredibly talented and a fucking acting chameleon. It also features the best child actor that has ever graced my screen. + Special EP 

Set Your Expectations High - High-quality shows that might ruin you for anything less.

⇢He’s Coming to Me - Could have been an underrated gem but luckily, there’s a lot of people who love this show and for good reason. It has my favourite coming out plot and it’s so original in its premise. Wonderfully complex characters and amazing acting. Ohm Pawat knocks it out of the park with this one, definitely my favourite of his. ⇢Not Me - How to even begin to explain how important this show is to me. I got a fucking tattoo of it, on my skin, forever!!!! My absolute number one BL, they will never make another like it. I love everything about it from the director, to the casting, to the silly moments. This show single-handedly endeared me to so many of GMMTV roster, it's insane. It almost ruined me for everything else and I watched it very early on too, so there was a tangible risk. 

We Like It Spicy - If you’re looking for titillating chemistry, this is for you.

⇢Big Dragon - This show compels me. Is it good? Not exactly. And yet it kept me glued to the screen every single week. The chemistry is on fire, the story is a little silly at times but the way the characters develop through it is surprisingly very well-done. I don’t know what to say, it really worked for me and it’s a great display of how sometimes you’ll come across shows that care more about titillation than story. ⇢KinnPorsche - My very, very first Thai BL and what got me back into the genre and introduced me to Thai shows in particular. It is horny, it is wild, it is toxic at times but it is the ride. I believe it might have been the first Thai BL show to truly get so much money thrown at it and it changed the entire industry. Also just so completely entertaining and fun. ⇢The Novelist - The native title for this is Pornographer so you can imagine how this belongs into a higher level of spicy. I feel like it's a very good look into the more mature side of Japanese BL while still including a compelling love story. There are tougher Japanese BL out there both in terms of themes and explicitness but this is a good primer. + Prequel (watch it second) & Sequels 1, 2, & 3

Legendary Doesn’t Always Mean Good - Titles you just can’t stop coming across, a mixed bag of quality. 

⇢2gether - I‘ll premise by saying that I really don’t like this one. I only watched it because it is inescapable when you start looking at Thai BL and I just had to know what the hype was about. It was absolutely not worth it for me but definitely belongs to the list of the ones you need to watch for the culture. + Season 2 & Movie ⇢Cupid’s Last Wish - This show makes me actively angry, genuinely throws me into a rage if I think about it too much while also having one of my favourite scenes. Overall, not great though not even all that bad. My dislike of it is not at all proportional with how bad it is. I feel like it’s a bit of a classic for a lot of reasons. Just… give it a try, it’s impossible you’ll hate it as much as I do. ⇢Dark Blue Kiss - Funnily enough, even though I really hated their part of the show, this is the one that made me a TayNew fan. It’s not offensively bad but it has a special place in hell for me for what it could have been but wasn’t – those are the shows that test me the most – and the only way I managed to watch the whole of it was thanks to the secondary couple. As a lot of other shows in this section, it’s another one for the culture. + Kiss Me Again ⇢HIStory2: Crossing the Line - The HIStory series is definitely the biggest staple of Taiwanese BL but if I had to recommend it, I would only go for specific shows like this one and two others in the list. This specifically is a little on the older side and it is just so charming. The acting in the entire series is quite good when taking into account when they were made but this is the first one with a truly enjoyable plot in my opinion. ⇢HIStory3: Trapped - Oh, this one is just plain good. I think it’s a turning point for the HIStory series and it’s very very entertaining while also having some genuine emotional beats.  ⇢Manner of Death - Manner of Death walked so KinnPorsche could run. MaxTul have done so much for the Thai BL industry and this show in particular took the risk of transposing BL into the thriller genre and opened the door for many others to mix up the formula. Plus, it’s genuinely good. ⇢Semantic Error - Everything that Korean BL can be when production is not cowardly. Sounds harsh but it’s true. It’s fun, it’s quirky, the dynamic and chemistry make it an instant classic, and it’s just so beautiful to look at. One of the most pleasant rewatches for me. ⇢Together With Me - This one is probably older than anything else Thai in this list and it shows; it gives a very good idea of where BL storylines started but it’s not exactly good. Interesting watch if you want to know where the Kings™ came from. + Bad Romance (original story, not recommended) & Season 2 ⇢We Best Love: No. 1 For You - For me, this encompasses everything Taiwanese BL can be while also showcasing where it came from. A rare, non-Thai, very frequent rewatch. + Season 2 ⇢Where Your Eyes Linger - This is the first of director Hwang Da Seul’s holy trinity and together with To My Star and Blueming is a must-watch of Korean BL. ⇢Why R U? - A formative show in my Thai BL journey and also one of the first I watched. It is definitely dated but it also really shows how Thai BL developed over time. I slightly prefer the more recent and totally different Korean remake but it’s very close.

I Don’t Want Peace I Want Problems - These characters hate boredom just as much as you.

⇢Addicted - The Cursed story with a capital C, this show is truly one of a kind. It delves into some pretty toxic and problematic narratives but it’s also the only adaptation that manages to really convey the socioeconomic message of the story it tells. Be warned that it is incomplete due to Chinese censorship, which is only the tip of the iceberg of the BTS lore. None of the adaptations have (so far) been able to get to the end of the original story, hence the reason I say it’s Cursed. + Censored Chinese remake & Thai remake (ongoing) ⇢The Eclipse - I really really loved this show until I didn’t. The acting alone is one of the best in the whole of GMMTV’s history and it touches on some very complex themes while still very much being a High School BL. The ending frustrated me to no end because it completely smashed the quality heights it had reached for some easy fluff and it just left a bitter taste in my mouth. Still, it’s very beloved by a lot of people – *cough*Jay*cough*. ⇢Love Mechanics - It’s messy and probably not to everyone’s taste but for me this is an excellent display of how much direction and chemistry can make or break a not-that-exciting story. I rewatch this constantly. + NOTE: There is a director’s cut of the first three episodes then they integrate. En of Love [▶️watch here] is the first, inferior version of the story. ⇢My Beautiful Man - This one tends to be a controversial rec. It’s probably the show that surprised me the most in this entire list and made me do a complete 180 in my opinion of it. Once I finally gave it a chance, I just couldn't stop watching it, and it gets even better as it continues in the following season and the epilogue. + Season 2 & Movie ⇢My Stand-In - A very recent addition, I am obsessed with it. There is not one episode I didn’t like and for me this really managed to make the relationship work despite the toxicity and the atrocities. The acting is just splendid, I will now forever be a fan of Up and Poom. I love it. ⇢To Sir, With Love - This is fully a soap opera. I haven’t seen it recommended as much as others because of how long and how specifically in the soap opera genre it is. But! – big but – if you manage to get through the whole of it, you are primed for any other BLs that use the same narrative style or very close narrative styles like Century of Love. For me, it contextualised a lot of other Thai shows I’ve watched and in the end, though it feels longer than it should be, I actually really liked it. But man, life is way too short to ever rewatch it.

So You Want It Artsy - That snobby friend who only watches French Indie films you hate to admit are actually excellent.

⇢180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us - The biggest draw of this show is the shooting style which perfectly complements the themes in the story. A masterclass in acting with complex characters, I know a lot of people find it hard to get through because of the theatrical style it employs but for me that’s a huge plus. I highly discourage watching it all at once, I think it’s a show that needs its time to be watched. A real feast for the eyes.  ⇢Blueming - A cinematographic work of art. The plot is not that complicated, it relies a lot on the emotional beats and the complex inner lives of the protagonists. Part of the HDS holy trinity so you just gotta watch it. It’s fairly brief. ⇢The Eighth Sense - Unfortunately, I didn't end up loving this as much as basically everyone else but I do think it showed amazing promise. The ending just didn't work particularly well for me but it's definitely a very well-crafted story with amazing cinematography and great acting. ⇢I Told Sunset About You, Last Twilight in Phuket, I Promised You The Moon - If you ask people who liked this one, most will say they hate the second season because of the cheating storyline. I completely and utterly disagree. I have some minor gripes with how it ended but overall this is almost a perfect show IMO.

In Need of A Good Cry - Break-up, death, overall tragedy; for those nights you need to get it out. WARNING: some sad and tragic endings ahead.

⇢The Day I Loved You - I have a slightly controversial opinion about this one but the show is not a controversial recommendation at all. It’s plain good. I feel like it might be the only Filipino BL I’ve truly enjoyed and it’s definitely the only one you’ll find in this list. ⇢Eternal Yesterday - You go into this and you already know how much it’s going to break your heart but you never stop hoping for that happy ending. This one really devastated me because even though I knew it was going to end sadly, it managed to surprise me in the way it got there. ⇢HIStory3: Make Our Days Count - I’ve heard so many people say to just skip the end of the second to last episode and the whole of the finale and I get it. I would probably do the same upon rewatch but I don’t recommend skipping it if it’s your first time. Masterful character development and acting, I wish the rest of the HIStory series had maintained the same level of storytelling but alas, it didn’t. ⇢Kissable Lips - I didn't think vampires could make me this emotional. Way ahead of its time, we might never see another like this from South Korea.  ⇢Life: Love on the Line - Frustrating at times, pays off in a big way at the end. Very few others have made me cry as much. NOTE: make sure to watch the director’s cut. ⇢The On1y One - Also a very recent addition. This one can truly boast doing the slow-burn right. There were a couple of episodes that got a little shaky toward the end and if it ends up not getting a second season, I might commit arson but damn if the emotional beats didn’t work in a big way. I was played and I didn’t even wanna watch it at first.

The Self-referentials - We love a story that knows its own genre.

⇢A Man Who Defies the World of BL - Pure and absolute comedy from Japan, it parodies and deconstructs every single trope there is. The comedy is very in-your-face but instead of cringing, it consistently makes me die with laughter. Technically ongoing but unsure whether it'll get a fourth season. ⇢Kabe Koji - I have to admit I don’t remember a lot about this show aside from how much it impressed me when I watched it and the people to whom I’ve recommended it with the caveat that at the beginning it seems a little silly and not that good have come back to tell me that it was totally worth the watch, which is exactly the feeling I remember getting from watching it and why I recommend it. It’s formative, I just don’t remember why. ⇢Lovely Writer - I specifically chose to watch this when starting to dive into Thai BL because it deals with the Behind the Scenes of how BL shows are made and it was essential to my understanding of how fanservice works in this specific industry and definitely put me on the right path to find out more on the subject. Other than that, it’s fairly good and fluffy though I’m not a fan of one specific trope it uses.

Genre Outliers - BLs that like to mix it up a bit.

⇢He/She/It - Short and weird. I feel like this is very much one of a kind and I would watch it if only because it’s so damn intriguing even though it could have flourished with a bigger budget. However, it’s lovable also because it’s so obviously a small-budget project. ⇢Love for Love’s Sake - It definitely deserves the reputation it gets. It starts with catapulting you into one story and perfectly uses it to mirror the actual point of the show. The love story is excellent and the medium it uses in-world was a stylistic and instrumental dream. It knows exactly what it’s doing and it’s a masterful execution of the isekai genre while also keeping well within the BL world. ⇢The Warp Effect - Stretching the definition of BL a little as technically, the protagonist is a straight (up for debate) dude. That isn’t to say this isn’t very much a queer story with compelling queer characters and a fair dose of fun. I also absolutely adore how it talks about sex and feel like its approach to the topic is extremely sensitive and well-done. Plus, it’s genuinely funny. ⇢Till the World Ends - I will forever be grateful to Jay for convincing me to give this a try. It’s a little gorey and none of the characters are very good people – aside from Art. The fact that it came from a smaller, almost indie studio is incredible and it is brave as hell for choosing the subject matter it did and executing it the way it did. Michael Kiettisak is the love of my life (though this is not the show that originated my undying love for him, do ask me about it). NOTE: some of the videos on YT are membership-restricted but censored versions are available on the original channel.

Complicated Recs - Shows I have trouble recommending without a disclaimer but trust me, you need to see them.

⇢Secret Crush on You - I can’t possibly explain in just two or three sentences why you should watch it. It’s cringey, it’s ridiculous, and so so hard to get through but!!!! Just come talk to me about it if you want to know more ‘cause my thoughts about this are so conflicting I can’t get into it here. If you get through this one, you can get through anything. Just watch it and then come yell at me because you hated it and hold me responsible for convincing you. ⇢TharnType - This is even harder to justify than the previous one. Simply put: it is so wildly popular and well-known, you just have to experience it for the culture. On the other hand, I maintain that with a few tweaks – and they would genuinely be just a few though some of them major –, this show could have been groundbreaking. Again, if you want me to say more than that, you’ll have to leave me an ask. + Special 1, Season 2 & Special 2

Underrated Gems - Nobody talks about them and I’m very sad about it.

⇢The Best Story - Short, sweet, heart-breaking. A very overlooked show if you consider it stars YinWar and even though it’s one of the first they did together, it already showcases how well they work as a pair. One day, I will get the epilogue I deserve. ⇢Dear Doctor, I’m Coming for Soul - I cannot understand why this doesn’t get recommended in the same breath as Manner of Death. I found it completely by accident and loved it instantly. Stylistically, very much in the same category as MoD for me though I might like the emotional beats in this one a little more. ⇢Light on Me - So underrated. It has such a gentle touch with dealing about young love. Perfect display of how tender and delicate teenage love can be, it made my heart clench and filled me with joy. ⇢Long Time No See - Some of the older Korean BLs are surprisingly forward compared to what we get today and this is only one, excellent example of it. While it does have some spice, you should also watch it for the plot. Short and extremely lovable.  ⇢Love Is Better the Second Time Around - Why 👏 does 👏 nobody 👏 talk 👏 about 👏 this 👏 show!!! 👏 The music choices alone made it such an entertaining watch. I can only describe this as unexpected.  ⇢Love Class - I can't understand the absolute loathing I’ve seen people have for this show at all, especially for the second season. I loved it, both times. I especially loved the secondary couples in the second season but both times I was blindsided by how much I enjoyed it and how much of a left turn it took. Came for the romance, stayed for the plot twists. + Season 2 (not a continuation of the previous season) ⇢Our Days - This is another show I remember very little about aside from being very struck by the stylistic choices. The plot isn’t especially original but I was very intrigued by its pacing and its narrative style which is what stuck with me. I'm including it because I watched it fairly early in my BL watching experience and it definitely primed me for shows coming from lesser-known studios. ⇢Rak Diao - I will never ever get over the fact that this didn’t get a second season. Not only did it need it, it deserved it. This is shot like a sit-com, which means fake laughter and the kind of comedy that comes with that but it gets unexpectedly deep as it goes and does a wonderful job of conveying the emotions throughout the progression of the love story. I would have never expected to like it as much as I did, it holds a very dear place in my heart. ⇢Something In My Room - Such a lovely and heartwarming show despite the sad ending. I don’t really have the words to describe it, I just really loved it and would like for more people to know it.

Personal Faves - Are these good? That’s irrelevant. I love them, therefore they’re the best.

⇢The End of The World With You - This show was a journey. I knew exactly where it was going but it made me excited to find out how it would get there. The ending is a little goofy solely because of the low-budget VFX but emotionally, it really worked for me. ⇢Theory of Love - This is quite literally my problematic fave. I always skip most of the side plots when rewatching it and it’s the show I managed to trap my best friend into watching BL with. I genuinely adore KhaoThird’s story, I know a lot of people don’t like how their relationship begins but I think the character development is just done so well that it makes it work. Plus, I love the way it combines all the references into its own story and the Special EP always makes me tear up a little. Huge, huge emotional attachment to this one on my part. ⇢The Time of Fever - Technically, this is a spin-off prequel. It tells the story of the secondary couple from Unintentional Love Story and how they got to the point we find them in that one. It’s beautiful both aesthetically and story-wise. The acting is just excellent and the chemistry is out-of-this-world. I would personally recommend watching ULS first, then this one, then only the DongHee and HoTae parts from ULS again but it’s up to you. I will get that DongHeeHoTae-centric second season or die trying. + Unintentional Love Story (main story) ⇢To My Star + Season 2 - This show, to me, is a staple but I feel like it doesn’t tend to make the big names list. It is not only in my top three BL shows but also in my list of favourite shows ever of any genre. It’s absolutely essential to watch season two as it is quite different from the first one and much more developed. In general, I like season two a little more than the first but that does not mean the first is lacking in anything. It’s very marginal. Genuinely, this show can play my emotions like maybe only one or two others I’ve watched.

This concludes this very long and self-indulgent list of recommendations. If you’ve gotten this far, thank you so much for reading and please do shoot me an ask or a comment or a DM if you want to talk about any of these shows or others with me, it would genuinely make my day!

A/N 1: some of the titles in this list have an ‘extended universe’ situation going on. Feel free to contact me if you need help navigating it. A/N 2: just because they’re in this list, does not mean I consider all these shows to be the top of the crop. These are specifically shows that I think would be ideal for a beginner to get into the genre, there are many many others that I would readily recommend that didn’t make the cut and that I would be glad to elaborate on if asked. A/N 3: if you ever find yourself thinking “What the hell are they even saying??” while reading this, just imagine me adding an “in my opinion” to the end of every sentence.

[0asisbliss]

Darling why run?

Pt.2

Parings: Yandere!Chrollo x Cubby fem!Reader

TW: Kidnap, mentions of torture, other dark shit.

A/N: Sorry for any spelling errors. Pt.3 since you guys asked for this first.

You sat there in silence trying to concentrate on the door. Waiting for it to open. You needed to get out. The rusted old chains on your leg felt itchy, and you could no longer feel the weight of them because of how tight they were. The beating image of your friend still stuck in your head. It was horrifying. Your face still hasn’t changed. That same nonchalant expression that you had when she was asking you to put her out of her misery.

You play her screams over and over again in your head. Your head. It’s beginning to hurt. Though you try to ignore the pain. The door still hasn’t opened. You estimate it’s been two days since Chrollo left you to rot in the of the home you once loved so much. Chrollo had it all why would he throw it away like that? To ruin your life? Traumatize you? Did he no longer love you? Maybe, just maybe this all a little sick game to Chrollo. He probably found joy in your suffering.

You stopped looking at the door and stared at your legs. Could you still even walk? You were in pain, and you were really hungry.

You heard a creaking sound come from the door. It must have opened. Chrollo came into room with a plate of food and a glass of water.

The fucking nerve.

“Get. The. Hell. Out.” You muttered quietly, but harsh enough for him to hear. You were tired of being quiet you hated being down here, you hated being chained, and you even hated him.

“Darling, maybe you should eat hm?”

Chrollo sat the plate beside your hand. Even in your hungry state you refused the food from him to demonstrate your hatred and sorrow. You looked at it, and threw it on the ground. The glass plate shattering, and food plastering the floor.

Tears started to well at your eyes as you began to cry. Your sobs turned into screams. Chrollo sat beside you and rubbed circles on your lower back.

“There, there my darling it’ll be okay.”

You started to punch at his chest and you even slapped him. This was just your first week in this confinement so Chrollo didn’t get too mad at your behavior.

“Fuck you. I hate you, you crazy motherfuc-.”

Chrollo cut you off by slamming into your lips you didn’t kiss him back instead you bit into his bottom lip hard.

Chrollo didn’t hesitate to push you off of him when he pulled away blood dripped down from his lip as he looked at you in shock. Why the hell would you bite him? You didn’t do this before.

Chrollo backed away, and got off the bed.

“Alright since you failed to eat dinner how about I come back at a later time. Maybe when you have finally got yourself together.

You finally had enough two fucking whole days of bullshit, and pure torture, and he gives you this smart mouth bullshit?

“Y’know what Chrollo fuck you. I’ve been stuck in this filthy fucking basement for two fucking days. And you have the nerve to come and act like you’ve done nothing to me? Rot in hell.”

Chrollo stared at you with no emotion in his expression. Almost like he was starting you down, sizing you up. Why did he find delight in your present state? This is the most emotion you given to him in days. He wants more of it. He could even sense aura coming from you. It was sharp almost like the pressure of the air got lower, and the atmosphere got heavy. Then all of a sudden it stops. Maybe you were no longer angry?

He needs to feel this sensation again. Hell if he has to bring another one of your friends in here for Feitan to torture just for him to see this happen again he will. Maybe he’ll go deeper next time and bring your mother? He never liked that hag anyway.

“Darling be careful what you wish for, and for what you wish on people. For it could double fall back on you.” Chrollo shut the door behind him.

You watched him walk out the door and you huddled back into a ball on your bed and sobbed silently to yourself.

In your once shared bedroom Chrollo was planning. You showed such a strong emotion. He felt your aura without you even trying to show it off. Who knew you could bring your ability to life without even hesitating. He had to get you to feel that emotion again. He needed to feel your aura on his skin again. Though he didn’t show it he wanted to take you right there when you were yelling and crying at him. It made him feel close to being utterly happy?

You didn’t know a thing. All you felt was rage in that moment know all you can feel if restraint. You acknowledged that Chrollo showed no fear to you and that you wouldn’t win against him or even have him give you your freedom.

It was like all of a sudden the world outside was some fantasy realm you wanted to escape too. Maybe to escape your reality. There was no hiding from it, but maybe you could run if you were fast enough. It would take guts and an extra set of balls to even test Chrollo’s patience.

Though he had a lot. Everyone had their limits maybe you could used that to you advantage, and stretch his patience. Although the consequences might be hectic you had no other choice. You didn’t want to rot in this basement for the rest of your life. You had to get out. No matter what it took. No matter who dies. You needed to get away from him.

Chrollo knew your mindset more than you think so you had to be swift. Chrollo was already imagining the things you would probably do to escape. He was mentally and physically prepared. There was only one way out in his case. That was death. Even though that won’t happen to you anytime soon.

He has to train your brain, and get you to feel something again for him to conjure your nen out of the depths of your soul, so he can take it. It would be perfect, amazing almost. You’re giving him what he needs to be even more successful in his “career” that is enough to show him you love him.

And after all of that you can finally settle down and bear his children. Maybe two? A boy and a girl, or a pair of twins should do. Just the slightest smile appeared on Chrollo’s face thinking about it. Y’know what? That reminds him he needs a journal to write all of this stuff down. He couldn’t wait to feel your aura, and see the expression on your face when he finally gets to explain all of this to you.

[skzfairyyydreamz]

Gentle Love w/ Bf!Channie❣️

(listening to save you by rum.gold on repeat while reading this is highly recommended for ambience purposes). Masterlists

Genre: Comfort, Fluff, Friends to lovers

pairing: Bestfriend/Bf!Chan x Fem!Reader

a/n: This seasonal depression got ya gurl heavily craving some form of comfort so this one was a bit self indulgent. i’ve never wrote a headcanon before but i really enjoyed making this so i hope you enjoy it too! (please give me your feedback) reblogs are super appreciated. taglist is open so lmk if you would like to be taglisted!! Lastly Thank you sm for being here; sending lots of love and big hugs to everyone who needs it right now. 🫶🏼🫂

© Skzfairyyydreamz - Plagiarism is a crime. Do not repost, alter, translate or copy without my consent.

Bestfriend!Channie who settled with his unrequited love for you bc there was nobody else who could ever compare to you & nobody else he had eyes for.

Bestfriend!Channie who always had to love you from a distance bc he just didn’t have it in him to confess and potentially ruin something that was so special to him.

Bestfriend!Channie who had to sit back and watch you love shitty men who didn’t deserve you.

Bestfriend!Channie Who watched you cry over men who didn’t even deserve to be in your presence in the slightest. 

Bestfriend!Channie who helped you through each heartbreak bc there was never a time that he wasn’t there when you needed him. 

Bestfriend!Channie who knew in his heart that there was absolutely nobody that could ever love you better than he, bc he knew you better than anyone else in the world.

Bestfriend!Channie who finally worked up the courage to tell you how madly in love with you he was and always has been (with the help of your mother ofc; she saw the way he looked at you with the whole galaxy in his eyes and had always wanted you two to be together. Mama always knows best!) 

Bf!Channie who loves you with every bone in his body and every fiber of his being.

Bf!Channie who just wants to save you. Save you from all your past love traumas and mend your heart. 

Bf!Channie who helps you on your healing journey. 

Bf!Channie who shows you all the gentle, soft love in the world, bc its what you’ve always deserved.

Bf!Channie who makes it his business to give you the best of everything and stands on that. 

Bf!Channie who always puts you first. Before anything and anyone. 

Bf!Channie who does his best to learn and indulge you in ALL of your love languages. 

Bf!Channie who never fails to treat you like a princess, a queen, a goddess and more. 

Bf!Channie who will tie your shoes for you and slap your hand when you try to open doors on your own. “Don’t you ever reach for a doorknob in my presence, thank you very much!” as he rolls his eyes and shakes his head in a playful disbelief. 

Bf!Channie who will take off a week of work if you’re sick just to nurse you back to health regardless of your protesting. 

Bf!Channie who is always showing you off, rolling out the red carpet no matter who’s around. 

Bf!Channie who refuses to let either of you go to sleep upset at each other. bc he just cherishes you and prioritizes the importance of communication in your relationship that much. (he’s honestly such a king) 

Bf!Channie who is always calm and gentle with you; attentive to your feelings even mid argument.

Bf!Channie who takes interest in/ learns about all your hobbies and things that you are passionate about bc seeing you happy, makes him even happier. 

Bf!Channie who is so fond of your family and siblings. he has great relationships with all your family members and will never miss a single family gathering regardless to his busy schedule and idol life. 

Bf!Channie who hates to see you hurting or in pain. With teary eyes he wouldn’t hesitate to tell you “Princess You know i’d take this pain for you in a heartbeat if i could!” whether it be a broken bone, killer period cramps or even something as simple as a paper cut or a headache. His chest is heavy knowing there isn’t much he can do to comfort you and stop you from feeling any physical pain or discomfort. (i’m literally on the verge of sobbing, not me making myself emotional half way through writing this some one please send help 😭) 

Bf!Channie who is such an amazing listener. whether you are ranting about a horrible day at work or having a transparent moment about the current state of your mental health. He listens super attentively, giving you his undivided attention. Never breaking eye contact, He’ll hold both your hands in his occasionally leaving gentle reassuring kisses to your knuckles as you sit on your bed cross legged in front of each other. (this is so so so boyfie channie coded nobody talk to me im sobbing 😭) 

Bf!Channie who loves to take you on romantic night walks through the city. it has been your thing for years even before you two started dating. 

Bf!Channie who always invites you to join him on his late nights at the studio bc he just wants you to be near him. Even tho you are quite literally just there to sit in a reclining chair eating snacks while you rest your legs in this lap. You both are so content and cozy. He claims to work better with you around him and you absolutely adore watching your sexy producer man boyfie in his element. even if you are only staring at the side of his face for hours on end you will never turn down his offers.  

Bf!Channie who takes the sidewalk rule super seriously. there will never be a time where he will let you walk on the outside of him, always keeping you safe from any passing cars with his right arm around your shoulder, your waist or holding your hand while you walk together. 

Bf!Channie who is super protective and can be slightly possessive over the love of his life. always wanting to know your whereabouts and who you’re with; Sometimes even hiring a bodyguard for you when you are solo traveling for work or going to big modeling events when he isn’t able to attend with you. especially since you’re now well known in the public eye for being the significant other of one of 4th gens greatest! you now need to be protected and taken care of at all times (at least in his mind you do!) But You don’t blame him or ever complain bc you’ve been in pretty dangerous and traumatic situations before and thank god channie has always been there protecting you. He really has always been your knight in shining armor (shining armor being a black beanie and hoodie in his case 😂) 

Bf!Channie who loves your natural body just the way it is. Always reassuring you that he loves all your curves and the things that make you, you. Regardless to your insecurities he always has his hands on you some type of way whether he’s playing with your hair, resting his hands on you, absentmindedly massaging your legs while you two watch a movie together or coping a full feel as he walks past you in the kitchen; squeezing a whole hand full of booty cheek 😂 his hands are always on you. It’s so obvious how attracted and madly in love with you he is. 

Bf!Channie who loves your goofiness and all the silly ways you show your affection towards him. He loves it when you’re completely yourself. absolutely adoring whenever you’re in a playful mood and you just walk up to him to give him a quick bite on the shoulder and walk away with a smile on your face. he loves it even more when you’re really hyper and you do something unhinged like asking to give him a forehead kiss but instead licking his face and running away from him in a fit of giggles before he can catch you. (which he easily does a few seconds later) 

Bf!Channie who loves your pretty brown eyes. easily zoning out sometimes getting lost in your deep eyes mid conversation which always ends up with his ears and cheeks turning a bright red color at you snapping your fingers in front of his face and the sound of your voice bringing him back from a daydream.. “Hello!?? earth to loverboy!? are you with me?? ”

Bf!Channie who loves how soft you are with him. Always touching his hands or softly grabbing one of his pinky fingers when you want to get his attention to show or tell him something. He melts into a puddle seeing how soft your eyes are for him and how your voice is always just barely above a whisper when you speak to him in the warm comfort of your home. you walking up to him while he’s relaxing or doing random things around the house, pushing a few strands of his hair out of his face or softly grabbing his chin and turning his face towards you to simply ask him if he’d like you to make him a quick snack or bring him a cold drink. it unleashes a swarm of butterflies in his tummy and makes his knees buckle every time without fail. (he never understands how something so soft and gentle drives him so crazy, he’s clearly weak in the knees for a soft dom!mommy 🥴) 

Bf!Channie who is so enchanted by your comfortable silence. You two have created such a cozy and calming atmosphere in your home. Always finding each other at random areas of the house at any random hour of the day and enjoying each other’s presence without saying a word. Bringing comfort to one another simply by just.. being. You could be catching up on a new kdrama as chan would come and lay his head in your lap for a nap, intertwining your fingers and placing your hand on his chest. And without a word you’d grab the throw blanket off the back of the sofa and put it over him so that he could sleep comfortably. the feeling of his heartbeat underneath the palm of your hand instantly bringing you a unexplainable warm fuzzy feeling. this was just something that always seemed to happen naturally for you two. this part of your relationship was like a tacit agreement. The way you would climb into channies lap and rest your head in the crook of his neck after finishing up a few house chores as he just scrolled on his phone. it was something so soothing that you both thoroughly enjoyed but never spoke on bc you simply just didn’t need to. this atmosphere you created in your home was even felt by others around you. Family and friends always telling you guys how they felt utterly safe and comfortable every time they were at your house. And that was your favorite compliment to receive as a couple. You two were made for one another.. everything just seemed to work. Truly the best of soulmates. 

Taglist: ??? @hanniemylovelyquokka @goblinracha <;3

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