#i hate how fucking small this makes me feel

[masochistkatsuki]

New year, New me !!

New years sex, lowk hate fucking ? they love each other don't worry ? toxic relationship probably but the blogs name is literally masochistkatsuki, small plot mainly smut, short fic, not proof read

You and Katsuki were both known for being hot headed and stubborn, for lack of a better word, cunts. Neither of you actually asked the other to date, but by the end of the year, everyone considered Class 1-As explosive enemies a couple. Besides, for people who apparently hated each other, you always found a way to constantly be together or talking, even if it was arguing.

On new years eve, the class decided to do their resolutions together. With the heater blasting, the third years of UA Academy sat around and talked respectively amongst themselves. However, from where you and Katsuki were yelling at eachother, you heard your name being mentioned.

"Yea .. both of their resolutions should be to act less angry."

"You know.." Izuku's freckles slightly moved from how his face muscles contorted. He was clearly trying to find the right way to word this.

He knew no matter what, someone was going to blow up at him, but he could hopefully make it so it didn't instantly kill him ! "You dont have to start acting all super nice.. but.. acting a little less mean couldn't hurt.."

Unfortunately for him, damage control wasn't an option, and he was sent back to his dorm shaking. You'd finally gotten into Katsuki's room, stretching out on his bed as if it were your own. "Tch."

Your eyes narrowed over at the blonde boy. His dark eyes matched your own intensity. Something about him was pissing you off. Maybe it was the scoff, or how his biceps seemed to struggle against the tight fabric of his shirt.

It was clearly not an unrequited feeling, his cheeks turning an embarrassing red. "Hah, why the fuck do you look like that, Katsuki ?"

His eyes squinted slightly, as if he was getting a better look at you. "Cut that shit out." His deeper voice echoed out, a tone of command lacing it.

With anyone else, they would have submitted, letting everything that was Dynamight take them where they laid. But you.. You made him so fucking mad. No matter what, you bit back, taunted him, teased, never let him.

"You know, I think maybe you should be less of a dick." You spat, looking up at him, fluttering your eyelashes in the way you knew drove him insane. Youd always been infatuated with how easily he ticked, and soon became obsessed with the feeling of pushing his buttons or getting under his skin.

He huffed, his chest puffing out infuriatingly boyishly. He was so dramatic. But thats what drove your pleasure, seeing him so worked up. "And what about you ? Huh ? Your a fuckin bitch."

You smiled, a look that Katsuki could only describe as 'Evil' in your eyes. "Fine. Ill work on it. " You absolutely werent. Someone who was trying to be nice, wouldnt torture him with the words "Why dont we let this anger out one last time ?"

★☆★☆

"I fucking hate you." He was panting almost pathetically, hot words rolling off his tongue and onto your neck. Matching bruises and marks of teeth spread across both of your necks. A competition of who could give the other the worst time covering it up.

"Yea, you're fuckin me like a softy." You grabbed at his hair, pulling his head up to give him a sloppy kiss. With teeth clashing, you fucked your hips into his faster. His hands tightened their grip on you, threatening to leave bruises.

"Don't fuckin move.. Hah.." He bit harshly into your neck, to the point you worried blood may spill. "I.." Despite how mean he was being on your neck, words failed to come out.

"This is how you should be fucking me, not whatever weak shit you were doing." You pulled his hair in response to his aggressiveness, reminding him you weren't letting up.

"You really are a bitch.." He reset his hands, getting a better grip at your hips before he slammed you down to his balls.

"Fuck.." You stuttered, pleasantly surprised by the feeling. He continued fucking you into him, his pace only getting faster, the sounds of skin slapping and an infamous wet movement.

"Dont fuckin know how ima put up with your ass for another year.. Probably just gonna get worse as they go by.." Despite the rude sentiment, the detail on spending more years together didnt go unoticed by you or your body.

"Don't get cocky, you know you'd be begging for me back if you decided you didn't want to handle this." You smirked, a knowing one hed seen all too many times.

"Wait.." His eyes widened, and he attempted to stop your movements, but in the heavy heat overwhelming and pleasuring his body, he was too slow to stop you.

You rolled your hips flush against his, circling them slowly in an O motion. "I hate you, Katsuki." You smiled softly, basking in how he bit his lip and growled at you to wait.

"Fuckin.. whore.. you know what that does to me" He cried out, usual bite becoming softer. His hips desperately fucked into yours, his cum spilling out in fast spurts.

With each thrust in and out, his cock came out covered in more release and slick each time. Your bruised hips and neck were the cherry on top, calling his attention, begging to be eaten. "Yea.. thats why I love doing it."

He sighed, and brought his hand up to cover his mouth. Only you would know, there was a stupid ass smile hiding under it. He thinks, maybe, if he could see this sight throughout the year, he'd be just a bit less harsh.

Team Player Part four is being written now !! Sorry for the Hiatus, work has been killing me. Ill be back regularly and responding to everyone soon, I just need some me time. Thank you everyone for the kind messages, I get nervous actually responding sometimes, but I am reading them and appreciating them greatly. 💗 Happy new years, everyone !

[luvyeni]

🍡… ( drabble ) anytime anywhere ̨ ! ୨୧ 一 大崎将太郎 ՞

⸃ ⸰ ⌁  you both can’t seem to keep your hands off each other ヾ

boyfriend!shotaro・ reader ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ g ・ smut ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ cw ・ oral ( f ) ‎ multiple sex scenes. mutual masturbation. public sex. wc ・ ‎0.6k ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎| ‎ ‎click to library

request. i can just imagine both reader and shotaro constantly coming to jump eachothers bones at just random points of the day, at work? the dorms? mid convo with friends? doesn’t matter, shotaro comes up and says “hey i need you for something” and im dropping everything immedietly, and he would do the same the minute you walk up and tug on his arm like “excuse me ill be right back” so casually just to destroy you the minute you guys find somewhere mostly private.

「 ୨୧ authors note 」 enjoy it , hope you like it <3

your friends love you two they do; but they hate asking you out sometimes — because they know you two will most likely disappear for sometime and they knew exactly what you two were doing; and you two could give less of a fuck.

“sex addicts.” is what they would call you, and you couldn’t deny it either, you and shotaro were insatiable; the need to feel each other all the times. if you’re at home and in need of your man, but his work is holding him back? best believe he’s taking a five minute break, going into the bathroom and talking you through. “come on princess i don’t have much time.” he said , hand on his cock, head back groaning in your ear. “stuff those little fingers in your pretty pussy and cum for me.”

when you come over to the dorms; the boys know they have approximately 30 minutes to either; 1. get the hell out. or 2. find their headphones and head to their rooms because if they don’t then they’re at risk of hearing you and him going at it in his room. “baby why aren’t you moaning?” he was balls deep inside you, he knows your body and he knows how loud you are and how loud you could be , so this would be a surprise to him. “b-because your members are home.” you bite your lip to contain your moans; but taro? yeah he doesn’t give of a fuck. he wants to hear you — he needs to hear you.

“baby you feel so good.” he groans. “your pussy is making so much noise for me , but i want to hear you.” he fingers slotting between your bodies , toying with your clit. “yo-your memb- you shouldn’t be thinking about them while im inside you, i should be the only thing on your mind.” he said , pushing down on your stomach, fucking deeper inside you. “taro!” you shrieked making him smirk as he fucked into you with much more force. “that’s it, keep moaning for me.”

you could even be in the middle in the conversation with a friend and he’ll come up to you; he’ll even give the person a friendly smile; hold a little conversation with them, his hand on your shoulder, massaging it a little ( this is him letting you know non-verbally that he wants you right then and there). he’ll hold the conversation for a few minutes before bending down to your ear, giving you a little kiss on the cheek. to your friend it’s the cutest thing ever; but to you that’s the physical warning that he wants you then and there. “can i steal them away for a minute; baby i need your help with something.”

you don’t even need to say anything; just come up to him and tug on his arm, nuzzling your face against his shoulders and he’s turning to give you a smile; before giving his friends a quick goodbye, dragging you to the nearest private place. “fuck taro!” you moaned, legs wrapped around his waist as he fucked into you roughly, holding you up. “mhmm fuck princess you feel so fucking good.” the bathroom you found small and cramped , but you two didn’t care. “sh-shit i love this pussy so much , gonna cum so fucking much.” his head dropping to look down at your bodies. “ta-taro im gonna cum.”

holding on to the sink as he held your thigh tightly. “gonna cum -fuck- im gonna cum inside you.” he moans. “want you to keep inside until we get home and i can eat your pretty pussy.” your nails digging into his skin, legs wrapped tightly around. “t-taro im cumming!” your head thrown back as you came. “fu-fuck , cum for me baby.” he moaned, cock twitching inside of you as he shot his load inside you. “oh fuck.” his forehead resting against your , smiling while heavy breathing. “our friends hate us.” you giggled against his lips.

“sorry i just can’t get enough of your pretty pussy.”

©️

[1425fivefive]

10 Landoscar

body worship for landoscar! this is unabashed small dick worship 🥰 (for the kink prompt asks)

“Oh,” Lando breathes, eyes fixed on Oscar’s dick.

Oscar flushes, has to shove his hands under his thighs to stop himself from covering it. He knows how it looks, his dick almost comically small between his thick thighs, resting on the neat little package of his balls. He wonders if Lando thinks he’s soft. It’s happened before with girls and it’s—yeah. It’s not Oscar’s favorite thing in the world, having to break the news that this is all there is.

“You don’t—you can be mean about it, if you want,” Oscar says flatly, staring at a point above Lando’s head. It’s better when he doesn’t look at their faces, when he doesn’t have to see the barely-disguised disappointment.

At the edge of his vision, he sees Lando’s brows furrow, nose scrunching. “Why would I be mean about it?” Lando asks.

“It’s just—” Oscar takes a shaky breath and tips his head back, trying to exist somewhere outside of his body. “Some people, uh, enjoy that sort of thing.” He feels pressure building behind his eyes and squeezes them shut. “All it’s good for, anyways,” he grits out.

Oscar feels a palm on his thigh, a thumb brushing over his skin. Lando’s familiar voice saying, “Osc.”

Oscar forces himself to open his eyes. Lando’s staring up at him, something that looks like—like pity on Lando’s face. And that’s worse Oscar thinks, worse than if Lando was just fucking mean about it.

Oscar yanks a hand out from under his thighs, meaning to cover his dick, tell Lando to get the fuck out of his hotel room, Maybe find some bloke on Grindr and send him pictures of his dick instead, have him tell him how fucking tiny it is, how useless, how embarrassing. Shove his face into a pillow and rub himself off against the sheets until he’s crying.

But Lando catches Oscar’s wrist before Oscar can hide himself.

“Osc,” Lando says, voice soft. The nickname in this context makes Oscar want to sob. “Do you want me to be mean about it?” Lando asks.

Oscar doesn’t know what he wants. He gets off when people are mean about it, but it never makes him feel good, exactly. Makes him feel sort of used and gross, a tight knot of shame settling in the pit of his stomach.

But it’s either that or having people ignore his dick entirely and he fucking hates that, makes him feel even worse, like it’s so humiliating people can’t even look at it straight on. When he asks people to be mean about it, it sort of feels like he’s in on the joke. Like he’s acknowledging how embarrassing it is before someone else can do it without his permission.

It’s always—there’s never been any other option.

“What if I wanted to be nice about it?” Lando asks.

Oscar barks out a laugh. It feels like Lando’s making fun of him, like Lando has to be taking the piss. There’s nothing—what’s there to be nice about?

But Lando’s looking up at him, his expression devastatingly earnest, like he doesn’t understand why Oscar’s laughing, and Oscar realizes he’s serious.

“If you’re doing this because you, like, pity me or something,” Oscar says, cringing when his voice shakes like he’s about to cry, “I don’t—not really interested in that, mate.”

“No, it’s not—” Lando trails off, eyes cutting away. He sucks his lower lip between his teeth, the tender skin underneath his eyes flushing pink. But he flashes his eyes up to Oscar’s again and says, “It’s ‘cause, like, I think it’s hot.”

Oscar hears himself make an awful sound, something that could probably be called a whimper.

Lando’s flush deepens. When Oscar glances down at Lando’s briefs, he’s stunned to see Lando’s hard. That Lando’s maybe telling the truth. That maybe he—

Oscar’s gone slightly soft from the stress of their conversation, but the realization that Lando likes it has Oscar’s dick hardening, a bead of wetness forming at the tip.

“Jesus,” Lando groans. He’s staring right at Oscar’s dick and his tongue darts out to wet his lips, like he’s imagining— “Can I?” Lando whispers, staring openly at Oscar’s dick. “Osc, please, let me—” He trails off, eyes flicking up to Oscar’s, and he looks—he looks fucking desperate. Like he might die if Oscar tells him no.

Oscar doesn’t want to tell him no.

“Yeah,” Oscar says shakily, spreading his thighs. “Yeah, I—yeah.”

Lando doesn’t say anything more, just moans and leans forward, dragging his tongue over the head of Oscar’s dick, eyes fluttering as he licks up the wetness there.

Oscar thinks for a moment that he might come just from that, just from the shock of seeing the blissed-out expression Lando gets when he tastes Oscar’s pre-come. But he manages to hang on, manages to watch Lando wrap his lips around Oscar’s cock and suck, cheeks hollowing.

“Fuck,” Oscar gasps, hands curling into fists, nails digging into his palms. “Fuck, that’s—”

Lando moans and drags his tongue over the head of Oscar’s dick while he sucks, and it’s—Oscar feels like he’s shaking out of his skin, like he’s having his dick sucked for the first time. Plenty of people have sucked his dick before, but no one’s ever looked like Lando, like they’re having a fucking religious experience or something.

“Christ, Lando,” Oscar moans. He can’t look away, feels like he’s trying to commit the sight of Lando on his knees to memory, like he wants to take a picture of it, look at it every time he feels nauseous at the sight of his little dick.

Lando’s hand’s still wrapped around Oscar’s wrist and Lando tugs Oscar’s hand to his hair, letting out a content hum when Oscar slides his fingers into Lando’s curls, Lando’s eyes sliding half-shut as he licks and sucks at Oscar’s cock. Lando stuffs his newly-free hand down his briefs, stroking himself rough and fast, moaning desperately around Oscar’s cock.

“Oh my god,” Oscar groans, fingers tightening in Lando’s hair, pushing a whimper out of Lando. “You like it.”

Lando whines, nods. He’s looking up at Oscar with hazy eyes, hips fucking forward into his hand, and he’s dragging his tongue over the head of Oscar’s dick, over and over again, flat, firm pressure that has Oscar grinding against Lando’s mouth, moaning and spilling pre-come against Lando’s tongue.

After a while, Lando’s technique gets sloppy and desperate, panting against Oscar’s dick as he fucks frantically into his fist. Oscar wishes he could see it, wishes he could see how fucking hard Lando is, but Oscar doesn’t have a chance to say anything before Lando’s coming with a breathy moan, staring up at Oscar with a dazed expression, the fabric of his briefs darkening as he spills in them.

“Jesus, Lando,” Oscar gasps. “Jesus, that’s so fucking—” And then Oscar’s coming with a moan, spilling across Lando’s tongue, thighs shaking, cock twitching in Lando’s mouth. Lando swallows it all, letting out these high, pitchy whines, looking up at Oscar like he’d be content to stay on his knees forever, like he’d be happy to have Oscar’s dick in his mouth for as long as Oscar wanted, and the thought’s enough to have Oscar spilling a little more into Lando’s mouth.

Lando keeps Oscar’s dick in his mouth even after Oscar’s finished coming, just blinking dazedly up at Oscar, hand still stuffed down his briefs.

“God,” Oscar says, breathless. “That’s—you’re, uh, good at that.”

Lando lets Oscar’s dick slip out of his mouth and the sight of it, tiny and spent, doesn’t bother Oscar nearly as much as it normally does.

“I meant it,” Lando says. His voice’s rough, almost like he’s had his throat fucked, and the thought has Oscar’s cock twitching painfully.

"Meant it when I said s'hot," Lando says, and leans forward to plant a soft kiss to Oscar's dick.

Oscar doesn't say anything, can't say anything with how choked up he is, but he cards his hand through Lando's hair, forcing himself to stay still as Lando nuzzles his face against Oscar's sensitive dick. Forces himself not to pull away when Lando starts licking at his half-hard cock, coaxing it back to full hardness before Oscar's really ready for it.

He reckons he'd let Lando do anything to him, come as many times as Lando wanted him to, if it meant he could feel like this—safe and secure and wanted. So fucking wanted, he thinks, as Lando wraps his lips around Oscar's little dick. Oscar still doesn't like his dick, but like this, with Lando's mouth on him, Lando's soft eyes blinking up at him, Lando's hands gripping his hips, tugging him closer, urging him deeper, Oscar realizes Lando likes it.

Maybe, Oscar thinks as he grinds against Lando's tongue, Lando can like it enough for the both of them.

[anisangeldust]

Worship this love 𝜗𝜚⋆

Summary: Coriolanus can’t seem to stop winning, of course he has to make sure you’ll never leave..

Part: ← iv

Warnings: misogyny, cheating, death (poison), coriolanus’ fucked up mind, descriptions of a dead body, mentions of blood, smut (p in v), baby trapping, dubcon, semi forced pregnancy? Minor threats.

A/N: DDDNE, please don't read if any of the warnings make you uncomfortable. Your internet consumption is not my responsibility. happy new year!! Sorry this took me so long. This series gave me terrible writers block for some reason ENJOY!!

“I should that bitch an Avox, maybe then she’ll learn to behave” Coriolanus chuckled as you sat on his lap, one hand on your waist and the other cradling a glass of neat whisky.

That warned him a playful smack to his chest “Coryo!” You scolded. Classic. Despite how much Livia did to anger, hurt, and even injure you, you never wished ill upon her. It was one of the many reasons, Coriolanus thought, that she’d never be on your level. She would never be as genuinely pure.

“Dove, I’m going to get rid of her” one of his hands toyed with the ruffles of your uniform “you know that, and it’s not your fault.” His voice cooed sweetly.

A gentle sigh left your chest “I know.. I just” you look into his piercing gaze, the adoration bubbling in his crystalline pupils was almost tangible as he watched you speak. “I don’t know.. I just hate to waste a life like that-“

“Her existence is a waste of life.” Coriolanus cut in sharply, setting down his drink and holding your face in both hands “my sweet, baby dove. It’s my choice that Livias life is going to end. Don’t feel guilty. She’s trying to hurt you. And that’s not okay.” He murmurs and pecks your lips, a gesture you happily reciprocate.

“Okay..” you nod and smirk gently. Climbing off his lap to resume cleaning.

“Good girl” the president praises and pats your bottom. Ever since you two first started sleeping together, you’d made sure to put on a little show of wiggling your hips with every swipe of a duster, bend down unnecessarily, or accidentally forget to wear a bra so your perky nipples were visible through the uniform fabric. All of which earned you a spanking or rough fuck.

You both loved every second of both.

——

“President snow. Your berries and root.” A hired, non avox worker set them down in his office under strict orders. Coriolanus could almost smell the enticing aroma from here, yet they seemed to simultaneously irritate his nose..

The president gave a curt nod “thank you” he stated before waving his hand to order the worker away.

An avox came in a small bit later, their hands gloved with a cage gripped tight between their fingers.

The avox set the cage down and uncovered it, revealing a plump and skittering rat, the perfect test subject for the level of poison in the berries.

Coriolanus stood up and leaned against his desk, nodding to gesture for the avox to begin. Taking a single berry, the worker sets it in the cage of the rat, letting the rodent sniff around for it.

It doesn’t take long for the animal to eat the poisoned nightshade. And it took even less time for the creature to start flailing and then stop breathing, laying dead in the confines of the cage.

A smile played at the edges of Coriolanus’ mouth “good.. very good” he nods and grabs a sticky note, writing down instructions to the chefs on making the berries into a pastry, and the hemlock into tea.

“Give this to the chefs. Let it fall into the wrong hands and I’ll have your head” The young president hands the basket and the note to the avox. “And get rid of the rat” he scoffs.

——

Coriolanus observed the head chef very carefully as he reduced the berries into a jam and steeped the hemlock root and stems into Livias daily chamomile tea.

The poisonous jam was then pipped onto some pre-made croissants, so inconspicuous, ready for consumption.

Just as Coriolanus moved to leave, you come up behind him “is that what you’re doing with the nightlock?” You giggle and kiss his shoulder.

“Nightlock?” He looks down at you and takes your chin with two fingers.

You nod “yeah. Deadly nightshade? Hemlock? Nightlock. It felt appropriate” you giggle.

Coriolanus shakes his head and smiles “you’re too cute” he chuckles and pecks your lips, murmuring against the affectionate exchange— “I don’t want you to see Livia die. Stay in my office” he coos.

You nod obediently and nuzzle his cheek “m’kay”

“Good girl” he murmurs and moves his hand to playfully squeeze your rear. Your doe eyes gaze making his trousers feel a touch too tight.

——

The morning air of the Capitol felt a little too thick, whether it was the wight of his own decisions, or the constant pressure of Livias presence, something or someone was always crowding Coriolanus. Though he knew subconsciously that the minute her pulse stopped, the smoke would part.

You were his only respirator, the constant air tank in the fog. As much as he tried to convince himself that love was pointless to him, he would be reminded that he loved you. And oh he loved you. Your fluffy hair and happy attitude was the sunshine cutting through his dark days.

That’s what kept him going as he climbed into bed that night, mentally preparing to have to deal with the press, how he was broken over Livias death, and how he was trying his best to help her sudden illness, but in the end it won.

He was torn from his thoughts by the devil herself voice “Coriolanus?” Her body was next to his before he could respond.

“What?” He sighed and looked over at her, his eyes dark and cold, the opposite of his gaze when he looked at you, even she knew that.

“C’mon! Don’t be like that. Our wedding is soon—“ that almost made Coriolanus puke in his mouth “—and we are going to be expected to have an heir. So we could at least practice?” She giggles. Coriolanus had to hide his grossed out scowl “mhm. How about tomorrow night? I’ll be all yours okay?” He looked over his shoulder and Livia nods “Okay!” She giggles and turns over “oh, and once we’re married I want to discuss some staff with you”

By “some staff” he knew she meant you, but he chose not to comment on it, he knew she wouldn’t live to see their wedding. Whether it was the berries the next morning or blunt force was unknown, but she wouldn’t make it.

——

You sat in Coriolanus’ office, snug in his chair with a book and the promise that he’d be back soon. “I don’t want you to see it” he murmurs and kisses your head “it’ll be over quickly, then I’ll be all yours” he tries to soothe the guilty feeling he can tell is brewing in your gut.

“Okay.. I love you” you murmur and he chuckles “I love you too, little dove.” And with that, he leaves and locks the door.

At the dining table, Livia was sitting and waiting for tea and breakfast. Coriolanus sat down and started to sip his coffee, nothing out of the ordinary for them.

The avoxes set down breakfast, pouring Livias tea, and then yours. Making sure to switch the teapots.

“Mmm. I haven’t had pastries in a while” she giggles and takes a bite “what’s in here? Jam? It’s very good” she smiles and takes another bite.

Coriolanus lets out a genuine smile to Livia for the first time ever, though it’s for different reasons than she might think. “It’s a new berry the gardener planted. I figured you’d like it.” He smirks.

She washes the pastry down with the tea “mm, it was delicious” she coughs “the tea is quite bitter though. I guess it was a bad batch” she shrugs.

“Probably. Sometimes the leaves get weird” he nods in agreement, though his eyes were trained on her face, he almost felt disgusted for paying so much attention to her, but he couldn’t let her live.

It only took a few moments before she started having a coughing fit, pouring herself more of the bitter (hemlock) tea and drying to ease the soreness, but it only made it worse. “Coryo..?” She wheezed out and gestured to her throat “water..” her voice was scratchy, he could tell her throat was closing.

“Hmm? Oh my. Yes, I’ll be back” he feigns concern and gets up, taking his time to get her water.m he comes back to Livia wheezing and gesturing for him to come quickly. Coriolanus hands her the water, which is quickly guzzled and then spat out as she starts to convulse.

“I can’t.. —it.. Coryo?” She whines and tries to stand up, only to collapse on the floor.

Coriolanus can’t help but giggle as the staff all stand and do nothing, even though he knew they all disliked her; (also they were all threatened into silence) but the amount of apathy was almost satisfying.

He leans down as she started to grip at her neck, her lips turning blue “pity really, you had so much potential.” The president shakes his head and sits back down, continuing to eat his breakfast, showing Livia in her last moments that he never really did care about her anyway.

After a moment, her body laid still, a small pool of blood tricking down from the edge of her mouth. Another minute passed before a daring avox reached out to check her pulse, looked over at the nonchalant president and nodding.

“Dead?” Coriolanus asks a different worker, who promptly checks herself and confirms.

“Dead.”

The instant euphoria the President felt was almost orgasmic. She was dead. He never had to deal with Livia ever again.. nothing was between you two now..

Daring to look ate her corpse, Coriolanus was met with glazed over eyes and blood trailing from her mouth and nose. She was dead, and he had never been happier.

——

The doors of his office opened quickly, Coriolanus raced in and scooped you up, capturing your face in a searing kiss. “Dove..” he murmurs and starts to walk, out of the office and up stairs, kicking open their his room door.

He sets you down on his beautifully plush bed and starts to tear off your clothes. Your giggles filling the room “so I’m assuming she’s gone?” You murmur and he nods “you’re mine..”

He had crazy eyes, the kind that made you want to simultaneously run away and open your legs, of course you chose the latter. Coriolanus didn’t even bother taking off your underwear, he just ripped a hole right over the wet skin of your cunny.

“Oh fuck babygirl..” he sinks a finger in your tight pussy and growls “I’m gonna breed you..” his voice is low and dark. His hands move off you momentarily so he can undo his pants, allowing both his pants and boxers to fall so his semi-hard length can hang out.

Your eyes roll back “please do daddy” you nod and spread your legs further, allowing him better access to your slick folds.

Today wasn’t a day for foreplay, maybe another, perhaps a day when his ex fiancée wasn’t laying dead in the dining room would be better? No matter, he needed you. And Coriolanus was a taker, so took you he did.

His hard length slid into your juicy pussy, becoming enveloped in your tight heat. The feeling causing both you and the president to moan out loud. “Oh.. mmm— daddy! Yes!” You cry out as he starts to piston his cock into you, the length bullying its way into your cunt.

“Fuck— you’re— always so— tight… no matter how much I fuck you..” he growls and keeps moving, his heavy balls slapping against your ass as he holds your legs against your chest. “Gonna breed this— greedy hole..” he croaks and moves a hand to rub your swollen clit.

You let out a gasp and squeal before nodding “please—! Let me come! Breed me!” You beg breathlessly

“Yeah? You’d— fuck— you’d like that huh? Being my bitch? Having me stuff you full of my children?” He grunts before thrusting one more time and spilling his cum into your womb.

His fingers work over your nub until you cum, your pussy clenching Coriolanus’ cock, the import of his release visable in your abdomen “yesyesyesyesyes!” You scream out before gasping for breath, the force of your orgasm almost too much.

The President lays down and pulls you flush against him, breathing in your scent while his hand moves against your belly “gonna pump you full, soon this belly will be plump with my heir”. He breathes the promise,

you look at him with both want and trepidation “what about the press? What will they think?” You murmur and he lets out a hearty chuckle.

“You know what Dove? I don’t give a single fuck. I want you barefoot and fucking pregnant with my seed. You aren’t leaving me. And I’ll never let you go.” While it seemed sweet, you could taste the underlying threat in his words, you try to leave and you suffer Livias same fate.

“I won’t leave, I promise” you murmur and kiss him.

He beams. “Good girl. Now. Let’s get you into something more fitting for a future First Lady.”

Taglist!

@daenerysqueenofhearts @caramelandvenus @yoursrosie @wearemadeofstardust0 @kay-lla @mrsriddlenott @sleekervae @ianales @qoopeeya @arzua10 @matcha-muses @jitsuki12 @nojeicintjzonfhw @poppyflower-22 @lustforrush @jefferson-in-the-tardis @aurabambi @royal-sunflower @rovckwells @rubys-rere @iydImsydxoxo @nyxxoxo @lucyisdoingfine @paradisepoisons @miserableblood @that-daughter-of-hephaestus @sqct @tmblrsexyw0man

[rosemariiaa]

02 sᴇᴄᴏɴᴅ ᴄʜᴀɴᴄᴇs, ғɪʀsᴛ ᴄʀᴜsʜᴇs

𐙚—pairing: Paige x Azzi

𐙚—rosie’s note:i have nothing to say but enjoy this long and sad ass flashback and yeah..pls don’t humor me! live reacts are very much wanted and needed!! happy reading lovelies 💌

𐙚—links: rosie’s bookshelf, series masterlist , prologue

𐙚—themes: au (time travel), angst, fluff (if you squint), hurt/comfort, mentions of depression

𐙚—taglist: @thaatdigitaldiary @ohbueckers @makethemhoesmad @imaginespazzi @sierrale8ne @bueckersbitch @xxloveralways14 @kmoneymartini @lupinqs @pboogerswbb @pbaz7 @guesswhoitsn @patri-ots87 @ashortyluvsports @absolutelydreadful @pazzilover101

enjoy!!!

Storrs, Connecticut 2021

It started a few weeks after Azzi and Paige made their “agreement”. That’s what Azzi called it in her head—a way to convince herself it was something mutual, something they both wanted. In reality, it was her idea. She was the one who said, “We can’t keep doing this,” and Paige had gone along with it, like she always did.

Azzi thought it would be better this way, safer. If they stayed just friends, they couldn’t hurt each other. But watching Paige move on, watching her live out this version of their lives that Azzi thought she wanted—God, it was killing her.

The first time Paige mentioned Leana, Azzi didn’t think much of it. Paige always had a way of making friends quickly, effortlessly. But then Leana started showing up, a lot. At the end of practice. At team dinners. At their apartment.

Paige introduced her to the team a few days after their conversation, her arm slung around Leana’s shoulders like it was nothing. Like it wasn’t the same way she used to hold Azzi. And Leana? She was perfect. Nice. Pretty. Confident in a way that made Azzi’s stomach churn with jealousy? No, Azzi never really got jealous when Paige would be with other girls. Especially because they would only last a day or a few hours, but Leana would not stop showing up.

So, it was definitely not jealousy. Hatred.

Azzi hated her. She hated how she laughed at Paige’s jokes, how she touched Paige’s arm all the time like it was it was gonna grow legs and run away if she didn’t, how Paige seemed to shine a little brighter whenever Leana was around.

She hated how much she wanted Leana to be awful. Selfish. Mean. Anything that would give Paige a reason to leave her, to come back to Azzi. So Azzi could hold her and comfort her, the way she always used to. But that wasn’t going to happen. Leana wasn’t a bad person, and Paige didn’t need Azzi anymore.

Fuck. What did I do?

Azzi tried to convince herself she was fine. That she didn’t care. That this was what she wanted. Right?

But then, tonight, she saw them in the dining hall. Paige was leaning against the table, laughing at something Leana had said, her head tilted back, blonde waves brushing her back. She looked happy. Free.

And then Paige’s hand went to the small of Leana’s back.

Azzi froze.

Her breath caught in her chest, her heart pounding in her ears. That was her spot. Paige used to do that to her all the time—those small, familiar touches that felt like secrets only they shared. And now Paige was doing it to someone else.

She would never do that to Azzi again.

The realization hit her like a punch to the gut, and for a moment, she thought she might be sick. She thought her heart had already broken, but somehow, it found a new way to break.

Because even though Azzi was the one who asked for this—even though she was the one who insisted they be just friends—watching Paige with someone else made her realize just how wrong she’d been.

She turned away before they could see her, her fists clenched at her sides as she hurried out of the dining hall. Her vision blurred, hot tears slipping down her cheeks before she could stop them.

This was what she wanted.

This was what she’d asked for.

So why did it feel like this?

Azzi wiped at her face, angry at herself for crying. She couldn’t help but think about the agreement again, how it all started.

She could still see Paige’s expression that night, the way her brows furrowed, her lips pulling into a small frown as she listened to Azzi stumble through her words.

few weeks earlier..

Paige sat down beside her, resting her elbows on her knees. “We need to talk.”

Azzi’s shoulders tensed, but she closed her laptop and turned to face Paige. “About what?”

“About why you’ve been avoiding me,” Paige said bluntly.

Azzi’s lips parted, but she hesitated. “I haven’t been avoiding you.”

“Az,” Paige said softly, giving her a pointed look.

Azzi sighed, leaning back against the couch. “I just… I needed space. To figure things out.”

“Figure what out?” Paige asked, her voice steady but laced with concern.

Azzi stared at her hands, fidgeting with the hem of her sweatshirt. “Paige, I can’t keep doing this. We said we’d be friends, and then I end up in your room, in your bed… It’s confusing.”

Paige leaned closer, her brows furrowed. “You just wanted to sleep and it’s not confusing to me. I know how I feel about you, Az.”

Azzi shook her head quickly, cutting her off. “That’s the problem. I don’t think I know how to stop letting this happen. And I don’t trust myself not to hurt you or get hurt again.”

Paige’s jaw tightened, her voice dropping. “So, what? You’re scared, so you’re just gonna shut me out? We’ve been through too much for that.”

“I’m not shutting you out,” Azzi said, her voice rising slightly. “I’m trying to protect us. You and me. If we keep crossing these lines, it’s only gonna end the same way it did before.”

Paige exhaled sharply, dragging a hand down her face. “You’re making this harder than it has to be. I get it, Az. I do. But I’m not gonna sit here and pretend I don’t want more.”

Azzi’s eyes softened, but she looked away. “And what happens when it gets messy again, Paige? What happens when we mess this up? I can’t lose you completely.”

Paige’s voice was quiet but firm. “You’re not gonna lose me.”

Azzi didn’t respond, her silence weighing heavy in the room.

Paige hesitated before speaking again. “So, what does this mean? Do I still get my goodnight kiss, or is that part of the deal over too?”

Azzi’s eyes shot to Paige, her cheeks flushing. “Paige…”

“What?” Paige said, trying to keep her tone light despite the tension. “I’m just asking.”

Azzi sighed, her lips curving into a reluctant smile. “Yes, you still get your goodnight kiss. But just… don’t make it a thing, okay?”

Paige grinned. “No promises.”

Azzi rolled her eyes, but her smile lingered as she stood up. “I’m going to bed.”

“Hold up,” Paige said, standing too. She leaned down slightly, her voice soft. “Goodnight, Az.”

Azzi hesitated, then stepped closer, pressing a quick kiss to both of Paige’s cheeks. “Goodnight, Paige.”

As she walked away, Paige watched her go, her heart heavy but hopeful. This wasn’t what she wanted, not entirely. But it was something. And for now, that was enough.

present day

Azzi knew she was fucked the moment she made the decision. She knew she was fucked when Paige agreed. She knew she was fucked when she realized Paige could talk to, kiss, and hold any girl she wanted now.

Because they were just friends.

And Azzi was completely, utterly fucked.

—

The past weeks have been hell. It was like she was going through the stages of “grief” or whatever. That’s how Azzi thought of it, at least. How else could she explain the sinking pit in her chest every time Paige and Leana walked into a room together? Or the way her throat tightened when she saw Paige’s hand on Leana’s ass or her arm thrown over Leana’s shoulder, her smile too wide, her laugh too loud? Seems fake to me. She thought.

The team noticed it, of course. How could they not?

Azzi’s energy had shifted. She was way quieter, more withdrawn during practice. When Leana was around, her answers became clipped, her eyes glued to the floor like she couldn’t bear to look at anyone. It didn’t help that Leana fit in so well. The team adored her.

KK had asked her once, “Az, you good?” when they were running laps.

“I’m fine,” she’d lied, her voice sharp enough to end the conversation. But KK’s look lingered, filled with concern Azzi refused to acknowledge.

She wasn’t fine. Not even close.

First stage: Denial

Azzi told herself this was temporary. It had to be.

Paige didn’t really like Leana, not like that. It was just something new, something casual to pass the time. Paige didn’t do relationships, not seriously, and this one wouldn’t last either.

Azzi clung to that thought like a lifeline.

But then Paige started bringing Leana to team dinners. She started showing up with her at practice, standing too close, laughing too hard. And when Azzi saw them together, her chest tightened like someone was physically squeezing the air out of her lungs.

One night, she sat on the couch in Caroline’s apartment, her hands gripping a throw pillow as if she could crush the ache out of her chest.

“I keep telling myself it’s nothing,” she admitted, her voice trembling. “That she’ll get bored and come back. But what if she doesn’t, Carol? What if—” Her voice cracked, and the words wouldn’t come.

Caroline pulled her into a hug, her voice soft and steady. “I’m sorry, Az. I know this sucks. But you can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

Azzi didn’t reply. Because what was she supposed to say? That she didn’t know how to stop?

Second stage: Anger

The denial didn’t last. It couldn’t—not when Paige started bringing Leana to their apartment.

Azzi walked in one day after practice to find Leana sitting on the couch, Paige sprawled next to her, both of them laughing at something on Leana’s phone. Paige looked up, her face lighting up when she saw Azzi.

“Oh hey, Az. You hungry? We’re ordering sushi.”

We. Azzi hated the word.

She dropped her bag by the door, her jaw tight as she muttered, “I’m good,” before disappearing into her room.

That night, she slammed her bedroom door harder than necessary, her chest heaving with an anger she couldn’t contain.

Paige was supposed to be hers. She didn’t care how selfish it sounded—she didn’t want to share Paige with anyone else. Especially not Leana.

Third stage: Bargaining

Azzi started picking apart every moment she’d shared with Paige, searching for something she could’ve done differently.

Maybe if she hadn’t been so stubborn about staying “just friends.” Maybe if she’d let herself fall the way she wanted to—completely, unapologetically. Maybe Paige would’ve stayed.

She confided in Caroline again one night, her voice barely above a whisper as she lay curled up on the couch.

“What if I just tell her?” she asked, her hands twisting the hem of her hoodie. “What if I tell her I messed up, that I want her back?”

Caroline gave her a look that was equal parts sympathy and concern. “Az, you’re the one who pushed her away. Do you think telling her now is going to change anything? She’s with Leana.”

Azzi’s stomach sank at the words, but she couldn’t let go of the thought. What if Paige still loved her? What if there was a chance, no matter how small?

When Caroline finally left, Azzi retreated to her bedroom, unable to escape the weight of her emotions. Her eyes landed on the photo frame on her nightstand—the picture of her and Paige after their U16 gold medal win. Paige’s smile in the photo was the kind that made Azzi’s chest ache, bright and unguarded, as if she’d never known heartbreak.

It had become a nightly ritual, one that Azzi couldn’t bring herself to stop. She picked up the frame, her fingers trembling as she brushed over the glass. “I’m sorry, P,” she whispered, her voice cracking. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away.”

She pressed her lips to the corner of Paige’s smile in the photo, just like she used to do before bed. It was their tradition—their goodnight kiss. Only now, it was one-sided. A ghost of a memory that haunted her.

“Goodnight,” she murmured, her lips still resting against the glass. “Sweet dreams, P.”

Azzi set the frame back down and collapsed onto her bed, clutching the pillow to her chest. Maybe if I hadn’t been scared. Maybe if I just told her now…

Her mind raced with impossible scenarios, rewinding and replaying their history, searching for the moment she could fix, the word she could take back, the step she could retrace.

But in the end, she was left clutching nothing but a pillow and a memory, her tears soaking into the fabric.

Fourth stage: Depression

The hope didn’t last.

It was gone the night Azzi walked into the gym to find Paige and Leana standing by the bleachers. Paige’s hand was on Leana’s waist, positioning her towards the basket, Azzi felt her heart crack open all over again.

She barely made it through practice, her movements sluggish, her mind a blur. By the time she got home, she was shaking, tears streaming down her face as she stumbled into her bedroom.

Caroline found her an hour later, curled up on the floor, her chest heaving with silent sobs.

“I can’t do this,” Azzi whispered, her voice broken. “I can’t—she’s everywhere, Care. And I can’t—” She gasped for air, her words dissolving into another sob.

Caroline sat beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Az, you don’t have to go through this alone. I’m here, okay? Whatever you need.”

Azzi nodded, but the ache in her chest didn’t fade.

She thought about their first kiss. On the dock, at the lake house of Azzi’s grandparents, the way Paige’s lips had been so soft, so sure.

Would Paige still think about it?

Would she remember the way they’d laughed afterward, giddy and breathless, as if the world had suddenly cracked open and spilled all its light into their lives?

Azzi closed her eyes, tears slipping down her cheeks.

Will I still cross your mind in a year, Paige? she wondered, her heart aching. Will you miss us, even for a second?

Because Azzi did. She missed Paige every day, every second of every day. She missed the way they fit together, like two halves of a whole, and the way Paige used to make her feel seen, like she was the only person in the world who mattered.

I miss you, she thought, her chest heaving with the weight of it. I miss us.

But Paige was with Leana now, and Azzi was just a ghost in her life—a shadow of what they used to be.

And no matter how much she wanted to believe otherwise, she couldn’t shake the feeling that Paige had already moved on.

Stage 5: Acceptance? No. The lack of Acceptance

No matter how hard she tried, Azzi couldn’t let go.

She couldn’t stop thinking about the way Paige used to look at her, like she was the only person in the room. She couldn’t stop replaying their last kiss in her mind—the warmth of Paige’s lips, the way she’d whispered, “Just friends,” like it was a promise they could keep.

But they couldn’t.

And Azzi couldn’t accept it. She couldn’t accept that Paige was gone, that she’d moved on, that the life they’d imagined together was slipping further out of reach with every passing day.

She wanted to scream, to cry, to do anything that might ease the crushing weight on her chest. But all she could do was sit in her room, staring at the wall, as the realization settled in:

She wasn’t grieving Paige. She was grieving herself—the part of her that had believed in them, the part of her that had loved Paige so fiercely it burned.

And now, all she had left were the ashes.

—

Paige didn’t like Leana.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. She liked her well enough to talk to her, to hang out with her when the apartment felt too quiet, too empty, too suffocating without Azzi. But when it came to everything else—when it came to the little things—Paige didn’t like her at all.

She didn’t like that Leana couldn’t cook. It wasn’t like Azzi was an all-star chef or anything—Azzi could barely cook either—but it was different. It was Azzi. At least Azzi could make scrambled eggs. And those nasty green smoothies she used to force Paige to drink after workouts? Yeah, Paige hated them, but she never really hated them because they were from Azzi.

Leana couldn’t even make toast without burning it.

Paige didn’t like how Leana was so touchy-feely all the time. It was suffocating. She hated how Leana’s hands always found her waist or her shoulders, how her arms would wrap around Paige’s neck, clinging like a vine. Paige was supposed to be the clingy one. She was the one who used to jump into Azzi’s arms after practice, planting kisses all over her face or pulling her into hugs just because she felt like it.

And Azzi? She didn’t need to be all over Paige all the time. Sometimes, Azzi would just sit next to her, quiet and comfortable, letting Paige know she was there without saying a word. Paige loved that. She loved being in Azzi’s presence. It was Azzi, after all. Who wouldn’t want to just exist beside her?

But with Leana? God, sometimes Paige wanted to yell, “Can you just get the fuck away from me already?”

Leana’s hair? Always slick, stick-straight, and perfect. Paige hated it. She missed Azzi’s hair—how she’d wear it in curls or braids, switching it up depending on her mood. Paige loved running her hands through Azzi’s curls, loved how soft they felt and how they smelled like flowers.

Leana always smelled like strawberries. Safe to say Paige never had an appetite for them anymore.

She didn’t like the way Leana chewed her food, loud and careless, or the way she slurped her drinks like she grew up with no one teaching her manners. Azzi chewed her food so pretty—if chewing could even be called pretty—with that bright, wide smile she always had when Paige surprised her with ice cream sundaes every Friday night.

Leana always wanted to eat out, and not even at good places. She was obsessed with Jimmy John’s. Paige was too, but only when she went with Azzi every other week after games. Paige couldn’t stand it. She missed how Azzi would insist they eat at home, complaining about how Paige didn’t eat healthy enough.

And God, Paige hated the way Leana fucked. She hated the way her tongue moved on her breasts, her stomach, and just her body. The way her small, slender fingers never hit the right spot, the way her kisses felt too wet, too desperate, too wrong. Leana always tasted like candy, but Paige didn’t even like that anymore. She liked when Azzi tasted like candy.

Because it was Azzi.

Leana was all wrong—her touch, her smell, her laugh, her everything. Paige didn’t like anything about her, not really. And the more she tried to forget Azzi with Leana, the more it became painfully clear.

She didn’t want Leana. She never did.

She wanted Azzi.

But Azzi didn’t want her, not like that. Not anymore. And Paige couldn’t admit it out loud, but she knew the truth.

She was in a tangled mess she doesn’t think she can cut herself out of.

The worst part was Paige only really showed Leana affection when other people were around—when the team was watching, or worse, when Paige knew Azzi was somewhere nearby. It was all for show. A charade. She wanted to convince everyone, herself included, that she was fine. That she didn’t think about Azzi day and night. That she didn’t spend every waking moment wishing things were different.

She faked a laugh at Leana’s terrible jokes, forcing herself to look interested, to act like she wasn’t distracted by the mere thought of Azzi. But she was. She always was.

Every time Leana touched her, Paige’s mind wandered to Azzi’s touch instead. Every time Leana spoke, Paige thought about Azzi’s voice, the way it softened whenever she called Paige’s name. Every time Leana kissed her, Paige found herself comparing it to Azzi’s kisses—how they tasted sweeter, felt deeper, left her breathless in ways Leana never could.

It didn’t matter how much Paige pretended. She wasn’t fooling anyone. Certainly not Azzi. Certainly not herself.

She was a fucked fool.

Present day (au)

The night was colder than Paige expected. The sharp winter air bit at her cheeks as she adjusted the duffel bag slung over her shoulder, glancing over at Azzi walking beside her. Her girlfriend’s hands were stuffed deep into her coat pockets, her brow furrowed in curiosity.

“You really aren’t gonna tell me where we’re going?” Azzi asked, her voice soft but laced with amusement.

Paige smirked, shaking her head. “Nope. You gotta trust me, princess.”

Azzi rolled her eyes, though the nickname softened her expression. “Last time you said that, we ended up at that hole-in-the-wall pizza spot where you made me eat that ‘experimental’ pineapple jalapeño pizza.”

Paige held her hand to her chest, feigning offense. “Okay, first of all, that pizza was fire, and you know it.”

Azzi gave her a side-eye, her lips twitching upward despite herself. “It made me throw up on your shoes but okay! Just hurry it’s cold.”

Paige rolled her eyes and grinned, nodding toward the gym as it came into view. Its towering doors stood shut, the building silent under the faint glow of campus lights.

Azzi frowned, glancing between Paige and the gym. “Uh, you do know the gym is closed, right?”

Paige pulled a key from her pocket, holding it up with a mischievous grin. “Not for me, it’s not. Perks of being a super senior and coach’s favorite.”

Azzi followed her inside, the smell of the gym familiar but the sight in front of her unexpected. The center court lights glowed softly, illuminating a small setup Paige had prepared: a picnic blanket, a thermos of hot cocoa, a container of chocolate-covered strawberries, and a jar of Nutella sitting neatly on top.

Azzi’s jaw dropped slightly. “Wait—is that Nutella and strawberries? Wow Paige, you really thought this through.”

Paige shrugged, trying to play it cool but clearly pleased with herself. “You’re the one who put me onto it. Said they’re ‘life-changing’ or whatever. Figured I’d return the favor.”

Azzi laughed, kneeling down on the blanket and picking up the jar of Nutella. “I didn’t just say they’re life-changing. I said they’re essential. There’s a difference.”

Paige chuckled, setting her duffel bag near the bleachers before grabbing a basketball. “Yeah, yeah. Now let’s see if you still got that jumper.”

For the next hour, they played like they were kids again—shooting around, teasing each other, laughing until their stomachs hurt. Paige couldn’t help but steal glances at Azzi, marveling at how at ease she looked, her usual focus replaced with unfiltered joy.

When they finally settled back on the blanket, Azzi leaned into Paige’s side, her head resting on her shoulder. She dipped a strawberry into the Nutella and popped it into her mouth, sighing contentedly.

“This is perfect,” Azzi said softly.

Paige smiled, her fingers tracing small circles on Azzi’s thigh. “Yeah. I figured we could use something like this. It’s been…a lot lately.”

Azzi tilted her head to look up at Paige, her brow creasing slightly. “What do you mean? You’ve been killing it this year, P.”

Paige hesitated, her fingers stilling. “Yeah, but…it’s weird, you know? Knowing this is my last year here. I’m really gonna miss this place.”

Azzi’s smile faltered, and she sat up a little straighter. “You don’t have to think about that yet, though.”

Paige raised an eyebrow, her lips quirking. “What about you? You’ve been quiet about what you’re gonna do. Are you staying another year or declaring?”

Azzi blinked, caught off guard. “I—” She stopped, her gaze dropping to the blanket. “I haven’t decided yet.”“I don’t know. It’s a big decision, and I don’t want to rush it. But…sometimes I think staying wouldn’t be so bad.”

Paige reached out, gently turning Azzi’s face toward her. “Hey,” she said softly. “We’ll figure it out, no matter what. You staying or going doesn’t change us, Az.”

Azzi’s throat bobbed as she swallowed, her eyes shining with uncertainty. “It’s just…a lot to think about.”

Paige’s expression softened, and she leaned in to press a kiss to Azzi’s temple. “I get it. Take your time. You don’t have to decide tonight.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, the gym’s stillness wrapping around them like a blanket. Finally, Paige broke the quiet, a playful grin tugging at her lips.

“So,” she said, glancing down at Azzi. “Am I still get my goodnight kiss tonight, or what?”

Azzi laughed, rolling her eyes. “You’re ridiculous, you ask this everytime” she teased, but her cheeks flushed pink.

Paige tilted her head, her grin widening. “That’s not a no.”

Azzi sighed dramatically, leaning forward to press a soft, lingering kiss to Paige’s lips. When she pulled back, Paige was grinning like she’d won a championship.

“See?” Paige said, leaning back against the blanket. “This is why I’m gonna miss UConn. Nobody does goodnight kisses like you.”

Azzi laughed, shaking her head. “You’re lucky you’re cute, because you’re so corny.”

Paige chuckled, pulling Azzi closer. For the first time in a while, she let herself just be present—with Azzi, with this moment, with this version of her senior year.

—

The gym was almost empty now, the faint echo of their laughter still hanging in the air. Paige knelt beside her duffel bag, tossing in her shoes and a few loose pieces of tape she’d peeled off her wrists. Azzi was a few feet away, waiting patiently for paige to finish.

The night had been everything Paige hoped for—light, easy, and full of the kind of love that made her forget, even for a moment, about everything weighing her down.

Azzi turned to Paige, her brown eyes sparkling even under the harsh fluorescent lights. “You okay?” she asked, tilting her head.

Paige zipped up her bag and stood, throwing it over her shoulder. “Yeah, I’m good,” she said with a small smile.

Azzi didn’t look convinced, but she didn’t push. Instead, she nodded toward the doors. “Come on, let’s get home, KK is blowing up my phone.”

They walked side by side, their footsteps echoing off the walls as they made their way to the exit. Paige glanced over at Azzi, watching the way her ponytail swayed with each step, the way she hummed softly under her breath. She was so beautiful, so effortlessly radiant, and Paige felt her chest tighten at the thought of everything she was keeping from her.

As they stepped outside, the cold air hit them immediately, their breath visible in the chilly night. Paige unlocked the car with a press of a button, and Azzi walked ahead, tossing her bag into the backseat before climbing in. Paige lingered for a moment, staring up at the stars as if they might hold the answers she was looking for.

“Paige?” Azzi called softly from inside the car.

Paige snapped out of her thoughts and climbed in, shutting the door behind her. The heater kicked on as she started the engine, and for a moment, they just sat there, the quiet hum of the car filling the space between them.

Paige had one hand on the wheel, the other resting casually on her thigh. Azzi sat in the passenger seat, her head turned slightly toward Paige as if she was studying her. The hum of the engine and the faint sound of the radio filled the space between them, but Paige’s thoughts were so loud they might as well have been screaming.

She’d done her best to stay in the moment tonight—to soak in Azzi’s laugh, her smile, the way her nose scrunched whenever Paige teased her. But as they neared campus, the weight in Paige’s chest grew heavier.

It wasn’t just about what she’d gotten a second chance at; it was what she’d lost the first time around.

Azzi broke the silence first. “Hey, you wanna just crash in my room tonight?” Her voice was soft, almost hypnotizing.

Paige glanced at her briefly before returning her eyes to the road. “Yeah,” she said, her voice just as quiet. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Azzi smiled, reaching out to give Paige’s arm a squeeze before settling back into her seat.

For the rest of the drive, Paige’s thoughts spiraled.

What if she could fix things?

The question had been haunting her since the moment she woke up in this second chance of a life. She could do so much—change so much—but every action had consequences. Good ones, bad ones. Ones she couldn’t even begin to predict.

Her grip on the steering wheel tightened.

And then there was the truth. The one thing she knew she could never fix, never change. The one thing that had already shattered Azzi once before.

Paige swallowed hard, her jaw clenching. She couldn’t think about that now. Not tonight. She needed to focus on the present—on Azzi, on the way her voice softened whenever she said Paige’s name, on the way her fingers always found Paige’s whenever they were walking side by side. Just focus on Azzi, just focus on pretending.

But was she really pretending? No. No, she wasn’t.

Paige knew she loved Azzi. Everyone did. She loved her so much it felt like it was tearing her apart from the inside out. She loved her enough to want to protect her, even if it meant keeping this secret. She loved her enough to die for her.

But loving her didn’t make what she was doing any less wrong.

By the time they reached Azzi’s dorm, Paige felt like she could barely breathe. Azzi didn’t seem to notice; she was already climbing out of the car, waiting for Paige to grab her things before leading the way inside.

When they reached Azzi’s room, Paige hesitated in the doorway, her duffel bag slung over her shoulder. Azzi turned to her, frowning slightly.

“You good?” she asked.

Paige forced a smile and nodded. “Yeah. Just tired, that’s all.”

Azzi’s frown deepened, but she didn’t press. Instead, she grabbed Paige’s hand and pulled her inside.

They moved through their usual routine with ease—Azzi handing Paige a pair of sweats, Paige tossing her hoodie onto the back of a chair, both of them brushing their teeth side by side in the small bathroom. But as they finally settled into Azzi’s bed, the silence between them felt heavier than before.

Paige lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling while Azzi curled up beside her, her head resting on Paige’s shoulder.

“You’ve been quiet,” Azzi murmured, her voice barely audible in the darkness.

Paige exhaled slowly, her fingers brushing through Azzi’s hair. “Just…thinking.”

“About what?”

Paige hesitated. She could feel the words bubbling up in her throat, threatening to spill out. But she couldn’t say them. Not now. Maybe not ever.

“Everything,” she said instead.

Azzi shifted, propping herself up on one elbow to look at Paige. “Hey,” she said softly, her fingers brushing against Paige’s cheek. “Whatever it is, you can talk to me. You know that, right?”

Paige closed her eyes, the weight in her chest almost unbearable. “I know,” she whispered.

Azzi’s thumb traced slow circles on Paige’s cheek. “You’re scaring me, P. What’s going on?”

Paige opened her eyes, her gaze locking with Azzi’s. And for a moment, she thought about telling her—about laying it all out there, no matter the consequences. But the thought of the look on Azzi’s face, the hurt in her eyes, stopped her cold.

“I’m just…I’m scared too,” Paige admitted, her voice trembling.

Azzi frowned, leaning closer. “Scared of what?”

Paige swallowed hard, her fingers tightening in Azzi’s hair. “Of losing this. Of messing it all up again.”

Azzi’s expression softened, and she leaned down to press a gentle kiss to Paige’s forehead. “You’re not gonna lose me, Paige. Not now, not ever.”

Paige closed her eyes, a single tear slipping down her cheek. “I hope you’re right,” she whispered. Oh, hope, hope was a beautiful thing.

Azzi pulled her closer, wrapping her arms around Paige as if she could hold her together. Paige buried her face in Azzi’s neck, her heart pounding in her chest.

She wanted to believe her. God, she wanted to believe her.

But deep down, she knew that as long as she kept this secret, the clock was ticking.

And she was terrified of what would happen when it finally ran out.

——

𐙚— rosie’s note: so how do we feel? do we love rosie ?? 😊

[abbyslovergirlxo]

Liar

Pt2 to The Most

synopsis: after your wife’s death, grief consumes you. three months have passed and Mel Medarda finds you on the balcony painting

Tw; grief, reader is not so nice to Mel, conflicted feelings, death

It had been three months since Ambessa’s death. It hadn’t felt like it though, days would fit more so to you. A lot had happened since, lots of ‘progress’ as Mel liked to remind you. Time to time you’d indulge her and listen to all the beautiful things she made possible due to the defeat of her mother. In your head you knew she meant well, it truly made you happy to hear about the news. But there was a pit inside you so deep that it swallowed anything you thought made you happy.

Week by week was spent in the confines of your room. Mel had tried many times to draw you out but to no avail. Sure she’d see you at supper and other tiny moments but that was all that you allowed the world.

Night after night you dreamt of her, her ruby painted lips and hazel eyes. Sometimes it was comforting in approach, you’d see her in her robe laughing on the marbled balcony under the sun. Or you’d get lucky and envision her whispering sweet nothings to you, her voice blurrier every time though. Other nights were not so gracious. The nights where you saw her dying over and over, always left you in a cold sweat. The first time you’d dreamt it you’d refused to go to sleep for three days.

Time had not proven to heal you at all. Everyday you felt heavier and heavier. Here and there joy would find you in small moments, but always in the back of your mind was her. Always. And you weren’t sure if you were prepared to live with that for the rest of your life. Maybe you should’ve considered it when you agreed to kill your lover. But that was of no use now.

Currently you stood in front of your easel, splotching purples aggressively into the corner of the canvas. Occasionally you’d step back and look over it, examine it, study it. It wasn’t exactly perfect but it was something and you hoped that was enough.

“ They told me I could find you here.”

You didn’t bother to turn around, knowing who it was.

“ Found me.”

Your voice was different, your once light voice was now rough and raspy. Either little emotion thrown into it or too much to conceptualize. Mel had noticed it a couple weeks ago. She worried silently that it was all of your outburst that caused it. She had been stern with the staff to keep quiet about the screaming that could be heard from your room most nights.

You didn’t stop your painting, pressing streaks wherever it seemed called to be. Mel opted to walk next to you, since it was apparent you were making no true effort to face her. She looked at you, then trailed her eyes to your work. She grimaced slightly at the painting but held her composure well.

“ There is something we must discuss.”

You hummed, the only gesture you allowed to let her know to continue.

“ The founder's ball, we need you there.”

Instantly you shook your head no.

“ I need you there. The people need to see us as a united front.”

“ Mel–”

“ They need to see that the remaining Merdardas are dedicated to our city. I can’t do that without you, not entirely. My mother left many things in your name, without y–”

“ Take it. Whatever has been left to me, strip me of it and take it.”

She looked at you, stunned. Mel clenched her fist slightly, trying her best to refrain from anger.

“ No, that’s not possible. Noxian titles are only passed on in the death of a person.”

“ Then I’ll die.”

“ You need to stop this.”

You pressed the brush harder into the canvas, moving more rapidly now. Mel said something, of which you couldn’t be sure. The only thing you were sure of was that you hated this fucking painting. You didn’t get her eyes right. Or her arms. Or her hair or her hands or anything. Especially her lips. No matter how blurry everything else had gotten, you’d never forgotten the blueprint of her mouth, the creases of them like a roadmap to your heart.

Until now, apparently. You clenched the brush. Another press. Another one. Then another. A black streak, unloving and darkening. You weren’t sure when you’d started ruining the painting. You hadn’t even noticed what you were doing until you felt a hand grab your shoulder, spinning you to look at such a familiar face. The tears made it a bit blurry, the horrid expansion of paint like a decrepit mirage in your peripheral. You sobbed, looking over the fuzzy face.

The gold ring. You’d forgotten the gold ring.

“ Hey…hey I need you to look at me.”

Your head dropped, salty tears dripping from your face onto the marbled floor.

“ I can’t remember her face, Mel…”

At Least not in the way you wanted to.

It’s something that came to you three days ago, when you sat at your desk trying to sketch her. You’d scribble out her beautiful curls, and under eye bags. But then you’d mess up the crease in her neck, the softness of her iris. You’d spent the next 2 hours trying to capture your wife onto tear soaked papers. The ones she’d brought you from that one shop you’d liked, even if you protested about its expenses. But to no avail. It wasn’t until finally you gave into that pounding, that monstrous noise in the back of your head.

Not even 10 minutes later, you stared soullessly at the lifeless body of Ambessa. Why couldn’t you remember her with that sunkissed tinge in her cheeks? The abrupt laughter against your neck? The curve of her smile as she danced with you? Why couldn’t you remember your Ambessa how you wished? Why were the splatters of blood on her face so much easier to paint? Five years of marriage blurred and five minutes of grief ingrained.

Mel looked as if she too wished to cry but she feared your grief was too big to make room for her at this moment. You looked unwell in such a way that she wished for just a second she could be her mother if it meant it’d take that look off your face. It reminded her of a deer, one too weak to stand and too anguished to allow help.

“ I…”

You finally peered up at her, eyes glossy, her hand holding you up almost. Your eyes were distant, as if you were neither here nor there. For the past three months every time she looked at you, one of two things were at the forefront of her mind. One being that you really needed help, that your mind was proving to be more sick than your body. And then the second. The thing she never let seep out of her, the thing she always kept stuffed down. I’m sorry.

“ I do.”

She seemed unsure of what to do, what to say. She felt as though she had a delicate thing in her grasp and the last thing she wanted was to break you even more. For a moment she forgot about the founders ball, about the regulations and to-do’s, about Jayce, about everything. And in the next moment that followed, all she could think about was her mother. For years she’d spent her time hating her, angry at the morales she clung to, the abandonment. For so long she spent her time seeing her mother as a dark shadow with no face, only an evil presence who she needed a drip of love from more than she’d ever admit.

But after her death it's as if something had lifted. Grief still invited itself into her bed most nights but now she could rest that piece of her heart that always resented her mother. Now that shadowy figure was the stern faced woman who brushed her hair, the applauding voice during her training, the smiling mother who greeted her.

It suddenly occurred to her how you both must’ve been different sides of the same coin. You’d known the kindness of your Ambessa for the entirety of your marriage. But after her death, that seemed to die with her. Now all your mind allowed you was the distorted images of her body. Maybe it was your way of punishing yourself. Who knows. All you knew was that all her death offered you was oblivion. And yet her death offered the woman in front of a way out from such darkness.

Mel smiled at you, wiping the tears from your face.

“ I can tell you about it if you’d like.”

She reached over cautiously to your shaking hand that still clutched the brush. She grabbed it softly, but your grip was firm, your breathing still uneven. God, why did your chest burn?

“ I can paint her for you too if it’d please you?”

Finally you looked at her, really looked at her. You let the brush go, allowing her to take it. Your hand moved for you, your mind not catching up to your body. The touch of your palm caught your off guard causing her to flinch. She didn’t remove it, waiting for your answer. But you didn’t respond, your thumb doing small circles on her cheek. She wondered if you’d even heard her.

“ You…”

She nodded, as if encouraging you.

“ You look like her, you know?” You whispered.

Mel nodded again this time, unable to hold back the tear that fell. She cried softly as you continued, your hands roaming over her face gently and softly. You traced her face as if she was going to disappear any moment, as if the last piece of your wife was going to vanish into thin air. She leaned into your hands, your ring finger trailing her jawline, rubbed over her brows and caressed her nose. Mel was pleased when she saw you smiling softly, even if it held a million echoes of torment behind it. Atleast you were smiling, she thought.

“ Was it worth it?”

Her brows furrowed, knowing exactly what you meant. She stared at you, your smile never gone, only a bit weaker now. She’d asked herself the same thing many times before she’d rest her head at night, before she stormed into meetings, before she did anything. She considered telling you the truth. But then she looked past you, at the distorted image of her mother in purple, the violent strokes of black across her face. She looked at the bags under your eyes, felt the tenderness in your touch. Mel thought back to the night she’d come to you, telling you what must be done. She’d told you that it was necessary and once it was done it’d be worth it. She remembered the tremble in your lip when you’d asked her this same question months ago.

And she answered the same way she did before.

“ Yes.”

Mel watched as your smile faded, your hands retracting. You looked gone again, the echoes of torment no longer in the background.

“ Liar.”

The tone of your voice was so light, so empty that she had no idea if you were speaking to her or yourself. She watched as you walked away without another word. She stood there, holding that stupid brush before she threw it at the painting. Her knees betrayed her as she crumpled to the floor, her formal composure leaving her. The soft tears she’d offered you before were heavier now, louder with a burning truth behind them. Mel Medarda broke apart on that tile, eyes burning holes into that awful painting.

“ You’ve left me here with this! With her!”

She screamed at the canvas as if she’d hear her mothers voice do the same back to her. But it never did. Solemnly her voice died down and her chest burned.

I’m sorry. She thought. I’m so sorry.

[forbebeandjam]

New Year Love | Bada Lee x Fem Reader | fluff

Summary: the young and famous dancer decided to have a new life with you by her side.

Word count: 1.3k

Fluff and some angst (just a little bit)

A/N: sorry I didn’t post this sooner. I had been trying to get my life together before I have to go back to work. I usually have to make sure what I’m writing isn’t rushed but anyway! Hope you like this 🤍

~

"Get the fuck out of my house! All you do is cause trouble anyway," Your mom said as she threw your things out of the house.

The reason behind her actions began when you decided to join a dance studio to learn dance. That had always been your dream. However, you couldn't afford it. You were only eighteen years old and you had gotten fired from your job.

It's not like it was your fault. You were trying to balance your studies, two jobs, and taking care of your little sister. Your parents lived off you and you hated it, but you loved your sister so you put up with it.

Until you had enough. You told your mom how tired you were of having to choose between, work, school, and your sister. You told her you wanted to go to school and dance and she... she laughed.

You didn't expect more from her and then she threw you out of the house. With nowhere to go and teary eyes, you picked up your things, shoved them in your bag, and walked to your school.

You sat on a bench near the entrance and hugged your body tightly. December 31st never felt so lonely and cold as that night. Then you felt someone sit next to you.

You froze in terror thinking it was probably a creepy man or a guy from school that came to mess with you when a light turned on. Then you saw her face and you were too shocked to say anything.

"What brings you here?" She said as she sniffled and dusted the snow off her coat. You furrowed your brows in confusion. Bada. Lee Bada was talking to you. The same girl who was in your class for years but never acknowledged you. The girl who everyone praised for being on TV several times because of her amazing choreographies.

"Cat got your tongue? Come on Y/N. You're usually so talkative around Dami. Why not with me?" She said with a small chuckle. Then you caught a glimpse of her eyes. Red and puffy. She had been crying and she just needed someone to talk to.

"Well, I guess this isn't the perfect place to spend New Year's but, it's better than the place I used to call home," she shrugged and hugged yourself a bit more trying to hide your coldness from her.

"Did you feel out of place too?" You asked again. You could feel droplets of sweat dripping down your forehead.

"Yeah... people rarely see me for who I am nowadays. They all focus on my future and fame. I can't have one moment to myself and when I do, I hear the whispers of people talking about how they can take advantage of my name. It's very lonely," she said and her shoulders relaxed a bit.

"Wouldn't it be nice to run away to a place where no one can mess with your peace? That's my New Year's resolution. Move away from my parents," there was a small pause after she finished her words.

"What about you, Y/N?" She said and tired to you.

"Gosh... you're freezing," she said and placed her coat around your shoulders. She zipped it up carefully and her hand graced your face. She flinched and her eyes were filled with worry.

"You're burning up. I need to get you to a hospital," she said. You could barely open your eyes but you managed to tell her you couldn't afford it.

"Don't worry about that. We need to go now. Get on," she crouched down in front of you and you weakly got in her back. She picked up your things and began walking to the street to look for a cab.

Once you were in the hospital you seemed to have lost consciousness. When you woke up it was daytime. The light of the room was shining on your eyes and you groaned. Your throat felt itchy and you had a headache.

"Happy New Year, Y/N," Bada said as she entered the room.

"Bada, what are you doing here?" You asked.

"I tried to contact your family. They cursed at me and told me you were dead to them... I'm sorry," she said as she placed food in front of you.

"If you pity me because of the rumors running around school, drop the act. I hate when people pity me. I'll manage on my own," you told her and looked away as your eyes filled with tears.

But the tall girl didn't leave. She sat next to you. You didn't dare to look at her. It was the only time someone gave you attention without having to ask for it.

"You still don't get it.." she said.

"Get what?" You asked, feeling curious about her words.

"I've always wondered why you were so distant. How can your pretty eyes can carry so much love and so much pain at the same time? How can you always be awake despite all of the things you do in a day?" She said.

"How do you-"

"I've been watching you. Ever since you transferred to this school I thought you seemed pretty cool. I wanted to be your friend so bad but you never seemed to care about anything other than your school work. After hearing the rumors about you, I knew your life was pretty difficult and I didn't want to make things harder for you so I decided to stay away from you," she paused.

You couldn't believe it. All of the things Bada just said were spinning in your head. You tried to make sense of them but you couldn't. There was no way Bada, The Bada Lee, wanted to be your friend.

"You... Why? Why did someone like you even acknowledge someone like me? People try to stay away from me because of my parents. They think I am like them. You never once thought of me as someone like that?" you asked still in disbelief.

"Never. I knew that you had a hard life and that you didn't deserve it. And I knew what your eyes were hiding. I'm sorry I didn't try to approach you and sprinkle a bit of happiness when you needed it,"

"I don't know what to say. It's gonna take time for me to heal but... I'd really love for you to stick around," you responded not looking at her eyes.

You felt a warmth around your hand realizing that it was her hand.

"I'll never leave you. Never," she said and you finally looked at her. That smile. That sweet sweet smile of hers just made it 100 times clearer. You never wanted to be away from Bada.

(A year later)

And there you were. After she finished school, you two went to live in a different city. You were both thriving with success and you moved in together. Just the two of you in your shared apartment as roommates.

It was evident that the two of you had fallen for each other but neither dared to say a thing. How could you ruin something so perfect with such a vague feeling?

So you say at the dinner table looking out of the window to see all the pretty fireworks. You leaned your head on her shoulder and she hugged you tightly.

"Happy New Year, my love," she said. You lifted your head and looked at her with wide eyes.

"Did you..."

"Call you, my love? I did. I want everything with you. I want to kiss you and hug you and help you heal. I want to give you the world and care for you. I want to spend my New Year's with you like this. So, please say yes and be mine?" She said as tears filled her eyes.

You didn't say anything but launched yourself into her arms and kissed her. Softly, then passionately.

You couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth. Something so painful as that night turned into something beautiful in the course of a year and you swore that was all you needed to be happy.

You couldn't wait for a lifetime of love and happiness next to Bada.

Thank you for reading 🩵

[fee224]

Mr snowman

Rafe cameron x overlooked!reader

Warnings: childhood trauma

Rafe arrived at half six, sharp. You had been coerced into inviting rafe Cameron for dinner with all your sisters, and parents on Friday. You assured him he didn’t have to come, if there was a party on or he didn’t want to, but he reassured you he would be there, which make your heart flutter all week despite hating family dinners.

You were in a dress, same as all the girls in your family as he strolled into the kitchen following your mother, with flowers for your mother, and you!

You felt silly clambering off the kitchen island stool and accepting his flowers and kiss on the forehead. He wasn’t your boyfriend, but you knew you weren’t his friend, you just had to hang in there with hope.

His eyes once taking in your outfit, chuckled at the sight of your fancy dress and Ugg mini slippers.

Your sisters came traipsing in shortly with each other or their children, boyfriends and husbands. Your mother gushing over each of them, and rafe to each one.

The boys were the first sat at the table, including rafe who had no trouble shooting the breeze. You cringed at yourself for actually being jealous.

Then your sisters while you wordlessly helped your mother set the table and bring the plates to the table until you were sat beside rafe, he turned around to give you a comforting smile before thanking your mother.

“Of course rafe! You’re welcome any time, you hear me!” Your parents continued as you forked peas.

Conversation was effortless for him, and you didn’t feel so special, he was naturally good at this stuff. He kept dragging you into the conversation just for you to stare at him and mutter a small “Yeah”.

You would think this was his family, the way he was desperately including you but the dirty looks coming your way from your brother in laws made you want to sink into the ground.

After everyone was finished, conversation continued. You sat, your vision shifting to outside the window, to your plate to your mother whenever she would speak. Rafes hand slipped onto your thigh and rubbed gently as some type of soother.

Then you helped your mother to wash and dry dishes, you told rafe it’s fine to go into the living room with everyone, you’ll be in after your done and he just stared at you trying to figure out the hidden meaning, there wasn’t one, you were simply uncomfortable.

“You complain y/n, but you never make the effort!” Your mother turned from the cabinet to give you a stern look as you frowned weakly into the bubbles in the sink. “Sorry, I don’t know how” you croaked, you truly had no excuse but you didn’t exactly expect sympathy.

The fire was roaring in the living room as you sat on the rug, next to rafes feet, where he sat on the end of the couch. Your niece was in your lap as you stroked through her hair, putting her to sleep slowly, she missed her nap today.

You weren’t paying attention to the conversation until you heard your name, your head springing up from across the room.

“Y/n, you remember mr snowman?” Shilah sipped her white white, on the arm of her long term boyfriend. Rafe nudged you with his foot, presuming it was a cute memory from when you were children. You returned the small smile back up at him.

“Yeah, s’all kinda blurry” your head bowed to focus harder on your nieces hair.

“Rafe! You have to hear this” Mandy snorted and nudged Campbell who looked entirely uncomfortable.

“Okay okay! Y/n is seven and hasn’t uttered a word, little on the slow side weren’t ya?” You couldn’t tell who was speaking, trying to drown it all out. Why were they telling him this. He’s going to leave.

“She used to run off into the woods behind our house whenever she’d cry, she’d come back with bruises all over her body and wouldn’t fucking show anyone because this mr snowman had healing touch” it was all true unfortunately. You had convinced yourself a snowman was real, was your friend, was magical, all so you didn’t have to show your parents your bruises, tell them your feelings.

“Everyone thought she was like messed up…. Like in the head. She had to go to special doctors and speech therapists” another voice added and you could feel the flame on your neck, cheeks, ears, feet, between your breasts and under your armpits.

You couldn’t look at him. You couldn’t see him and know he’s seeing the real you back.

“What a waste of money” a deep voice added “I mean don’t worry babe, we are loaded” and then a sound of a giggly kiss as you felt your dinner start to unravel.

As you stood up dizzly, all you noticed was rafes clenched fists as you excused your self.

“I need tuh-“ you breathed out heavily, stumbling out of the door.

Footsteps were following you as your knees dropped underneath you, elbows leaning on the toilet seat. A thick hand gathered all your hair and held a hand to your forehead, the cold pressure relieving your confusion.

“You’re good doll, my little darlings okay, hm.” You heaved at his words, tears streaming down your numb cold cheeks as you fell onto his lap, leaning against his chest on the tile floor as he stroked you kindly.

You focussed on the material of his jumper, the feeling of your legs touching, the sound of his voice, the words he was repeating as bible.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen, I just cause trouble” you mumbled, distressed, still only half conscious as he just responded in forehead kisses, and cheek kisses, temple kisses and tip of your nose kisses. You floated away. Meeting a slow void filled with hurt and love. You clung to rafe as he protected you from the voices inside your own head, and the ones outside, sleeping down the hall, or down the street.

“Doesn’t sound like you like talking hmm? You can talk to me y/n” his fingers were tracing your back. Leaving you dizzier and healing you in the same breath.

‘Please let me keep this one’ you silently prayed.

- fee xxx

[weebsinstash]

girllllllll no way am I logging on to tumblr dot com and you're being horny for the fucking wizard from the wizard of oz

AND I'LL FUCKING DO IT AGAIN, HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVERYBODY

I mean, i guess spoilers if you want to see the movie, but you know the scene where Elphaba confronts the Wizard, "you have no real power!" and he just, very readily, easily, quickly, "exactly, that's why I need you". Why is there something so sexy about how he said that to me. It's like, he's being manipulative, coaxing in the way he's also not even denying the accusation and also immediately using it as a pivot to beckon for her aid. He's just a small man trying to keep everything up and running and he's jumping at the chance to have such powerful magical help to the point he'll let her be rude and openly hostile to him and still turn around and praise her

hes just this, weird combination of suave seductive piano playing adulterer who can tapdance and, he's also just, kind of awkward too? He can be your silly little birthday boy AND your fascist dictator?

I like the idea of a Sorceror Reader and the Wizard BUT, but, a Reader who is also from the same Earth as him is ALSO extremely tempting because, then you're ALSO this powerless normal human who is suddenly thrust into this, splendiferous world and not only will the Wizard be your only connection to your home, the only person who totslly understands your current situation and the only confidant you can vent about missing home to, but, you'll also be forced by your very situation to be a part of his charade. You'll be forced to take part in grand spectacles with all kinds of fireworks and fanfare and specialized machines, and your new "friendly" Wizard pal will coach you on giving all kinds of fanciful speeches to tell everyone exactly what they want to hear, because, what else are you going to do? Directly cause the collapse of an entire nation? Potential starvation, unemployment, housing crisis, complete civil upheaval?

You wind up loving and hating him because, he's basically the source of all of your pain, but it's also not his fault you're here in Oz (although being trapped in the Emerald City is another matter), and he's the only person you can talk to about past memories. He offers you food and shelter and a bed to sleep in (one you have to be careful of him trying to crawl into with you) but you're also forced to put on fake smiles and perform little parlor tricks for the occasional political embassador or adoring crowd.

You're forced to rely on him, but you also resent him, and his feelings towards you? Oh, he has zero problems being affectionate with you, whether it's leading you on his arm, or, taking you by the hand and forcing you into a little dance, or, trying to force his face and lips into the crook of your neck during said dance. He's just been SO lonely for so long, you know? And here you come, a little piece of home, and he finds you so irresistibly, indescribably charming. It makes him all the more desperate to keep control of you, and not knowing where you are to constantly double-check your safety legitimately gives him anxiety. He may even start having someone follow you around, that is if he doesn't start just keeping you with him at all times!

This mf could just legitimately have you hauled away in broad daylight and then he'd probably have the people singing some kind of bullshit song and dance, "just one day, in the Emerald City, just one day, is all it takes to be wed-"

[sschizoid]

was wonderiiiiiiiing if you'd be up for any jimcurly hcs if they were in an au? I had so many idea and now that Im here Im blanking lmao- something fluffy please! Im dehydrated over here (there's so much toxic yaoi,- and don't get me wrong, im obsessed, but also- I want them to have some genuine moments yk TT_TT)

ohhh have I got LOTS of thoughts for you anon. wall of text inbound!

--

curly

curly has a naturally gentle, soft and nurturing personality. he's known jimmy for years, and despite his temperamental moments, he still welcomed him with open arms, even trusting him to live under his roof when he was down on his luck. simply put, curly loves jimmy, he always has. he just doesn't know where the line is drawn between them. but he's content with just being in the same room as him

curly's love language is acts of service, and preparing home-cooked meals is his favorite way to display that. he'll invite jimmy to a plate he's prepared, who he knows will most likely reject the offer, even though he's probably hungry, but he'll eventually cave in. he always does

they'll eat on the couch, their shoulders close together and knees idly knocking. curly will happily yap and get lost in a multitude of side tangents, while jimmy just listens, rarely chiming in. it used to drive curly crazy when he'd refuse to speak; he wanted to know what was going on in the other's mind so badly. but he's since accepted that that's just how he was. ever the observer, hardly the engager. and that was okay. he had enough thoughts to talk for the both of them

he often thinks about how jimmy was before everything, back when they were younger, before the world was big, and before his brain practically consumed him. it saddens him in the moment, but its fine, he doesn't dwell for too long. all jimmy needs is encouragement and love, and curly is happy to provide that. he would do anything for jimmy. and he wouldn't have it any other way

jimmy

jimmy wholeheartedly believes that he is incapable of loving or even caring about another human being, yet feels strange when in curly's company. he's always psyching himself out regarding this— his thoughts and senses aren't often reliable, his mind is always playing tricks on him, and he fucking hates labels. but curly? that motherfucker was an enigma

he'll never outright say it, but he enjoys when curly touches his hair or places a hand on his shoulder and gives it a quick squeeze. small notions that aren't overbearing, but still communicate "I'm in your corner". it's comforting, those touches that, if placed by anybody else, would probably irritate the fuck out of him. but coming from curly, they were bearable. more than that, they were welcome

one of the traits he likes about curly is that he doesn't helicopter. he knows how to speak jimmy's language, or at least, does his best, and jimmy likes that. but at the same time, curly doesn't enable. doesn't let him do stupid shit if he knows it'll be harmful or make him upset. and god fucking damn does it piss jimmy off in the moment, because who is he to criticize how he lives his life? but the morning after, he's more often than not begrudgingly appreciative that curly is stern enough to reel him in and keep him grounded. its a careful balance, one they've mastered well over the years

sometimes, and only sometimes, does jimmy think about holding him. when his brain is just a little bit calmer, often after a really good talk or meal. he usually lets those thoughts perish, but sometimes, he starts to fantasize. not even about sex, just about having a normal fucking domestic life. being in love, being loved, being intimate. he'll catch himself looking into curly's eyes and try to imagine some sort of future, one where he gets his shit together and learns to tolerate being alive. one where curly can say he's proud of him and have a reason to actually mean it. a nice house, a different city, maybe they'd even get a dog. the idea always feels like a far away pipe dream, but fuck if it isn't nice to think about, at least for a little while

--

WHEW sorry i got kinda carried away with this one, i just have so many feelings about them. also this is probably more of an, uh... melancholic fluff lol but I hope you like it anyway! ( ; w ; )

[bambisribbon]

𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓲𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻

boyfriend!rafe x reader

warnings: profanity, arguments, drunk driving, drug use, breakup. i think thats it. read at your own discretion.

it was great. in the beginning. you and rafe were a pair, seemingly soulmates. everything about him was amazing. he was there for you, a shoulder to cry on. he was everything and more. he constantly put in an effort. but, good things never last. he got addicted to coke, drank nearly everyday, and you two constantly got into arguments.

you had distanced yourself from everybody, your friends, your siblings, your parents. rafe was all you saw, and you were clung to him with a white knuckled dying grip. no matter how depressed you were, you were attatched. you simply couldn’t leave. you told yourself he was going through a rough patch, that he was just stressed, but you could never fully convince yourself.

rafe called your phone late at night. he was drunk, or high, or both. you picked up, despite it being so late. “rafe..?” you whisper. “b-baby, hey. uhh, can you c-come pick me- us- up, we’re uh, on the road next to the beach.” you mutter a curse under your breath, and reluctantly agree. you drove to where he was, and he climbed into you front seat, with topper and kelce, and topper’s new girlfriend, ruthie in the back. rafe pits a jand on your thigh as you drive, and you pull your leg away.

as you dropped everybody off to their respective homes, you pulled into the tannyhill driveway. you let out an angry huff, and the tension in the air is palpable. “why are you so fucking angry all the time? shit.” rafe mutters under his breath. “why am i so angry all the time? you’re really asking me that? i’m like this because of you!” you shout. rafe looks at you with nothing behind his eyes. he lets out a humorless chuckle, and he runs his larger hand through his hair. “oh and what the hell did i do? huh? fucking answer me y/n!” he matches your tone. “you made all of my moments your own. you constantly call me when you’re drunk or high out of your fucking mind, rafe! you only listen to your fucking friends, you make me so unhappy!” once you stop yelling, the silence in the air is awkward and uncomfortable.

you try and hide the hot tears falling from your eyes, you try and stop ot, but you can’t you can’t stop them. they wont stop falling. “you made me feel so fucking small, so miniscule, like i didn’t even matter! you make me miserable, rafe. you are- were- my everything. and all you do is tolerate me. i made you my temple, my mural, my motherfucking sky.” you say between sobs. “that’s a bunch of fucking bullshit, and you know it. and why the hell are you crying, you fucking started this argument, y’know?” rafe says, tapping his temples with his fingers.

“you made me hate this city! i never talked shit about you, i never told anyone anything bad! i was there for you, but you couldn’t see that. instead you ran to alcohol and coke. you know what? get the fuck out of my car.” you look at rafe with storms in your eyes. “you don’t mean that. don’t make me go. if you make me go we’re done. i’m fucking serious.” he says, hand on the door. “just go. get the fuck out of my sight, rafe.” he nods angrily, and climbs out of your car, slamming the door. he walks into his house, leaving you with nothing but a look back. you stayed in the tannyhill driveway for 20 more minutes sobbing. as you entered your home, you tiptoed to avoid waking anybody. you entered your room and flopped down on your bed.

you bury your face in the pillows and let out silent sobs. it’s not like anything you can believe. you and rafe were over. you felt it coming, yet you were in denial. you soon fall asleep, your dreams full of rafe’s eyes, his smile, his hair, his hands. everything in your life was a reminder of him. hell, you were even in his hoodie and an old pair of basketball shorts now.

you woke up due to the sweet summer sun grazing your face. for a moment, you’re at peace, then everything comes rushing back. “this can’t be the end, it just can’t be.” you think. you reminisce on the times where things were good, before rafe was on coke. life was amazing then, but now, not so much.

rafe on the other hand had found his solace in a dime bag. he wipes angry tears from his face, and punches his wall. “i ruin everything, i’m such a dissapointment.” he says to himself quietly. he makes a split decision, and gets in his car. he drives to your house and rings the doorbell, hoping you’ll answer.

[chenlezip]

tell your friends ♡

PAIRING : fratboy!haechan x reader

SUMMARY : you tell your friends you hate him but you can't get enough.

WARNINGS : smoker!reader + smoker!hyuck (my baddd), swearing, not proof read.. idk what else ngl.. >_<

A/N : literally just got this idea because im listening to music while writing and.. chase atlantic came on, heard that line and thought, hell yeah i know what i'm gonna write. also lil smau? idk? im also really craving a sex on the beach now.. *lets out a heavy sigh* beggars can’t be choosers..

might make a part two, who knows? let me know :3 i just wanted to post this and see how it goes .

and… here you are, stood outside a random club waiting for your friends to come meet you. you were clad in a cute jean mini skirt, a bralette with a small cardigan on and knee high boots; obviously paired with cute accessories and having your hair done nicely, what if you saw a cute boy? you had to be prepared.

as you waited, you had a look at all the people who were heading inside, they were dressed just as good. i guess this club is where all the attractive people go, huh? you thought to yourself before you noticed one man who looked oddly very familiar. fuck, it’s haechan.

haechan noticed you out the corner of his eye as he waited outside with a friend, smirking and nudging the boy beside him, eyeing your direction. the boy looked over and noticed you, he looked stunned almost, immediately turning back around to haechan and whispering. you wondered what they were talking about but before you could go over, you heard karina screaming your name.

“y/n! oh my god!” she smiled as she ran toward you, engulfing you into a tight hug. it’s been a while since you’ve all seen each other so it was nice to finally get to hang with your girls again. “i’ve missed you guys so much, ugh.. you all look so good!”

“as do you!! i can’t wait to get fucked up tonight, i’ve already pre booked a taxi so do nottt worry~ i’ve got us covered, it’ll be coming 2am so we should leave early just to make sure we get it alright,” giselle explained to you all as you nodded in return, “i can give you some money toward it when i’m not wasted - just let me know, okay?” you smile as she shook her head.

“no need y/n, it’s my treat, come on!” giselle dragged you and the girls inside, sitting in a booth and scouring through the drinks menu. “i don’t know what to get.. everything sounds good,” ningning mumbled as she looked at the rest of you, “anyone know what they’re getting?”

“i’m just gonna get a sex on the beach - always my go to,” you spoke up as you waited for the others to be done deciding. once you all were, you ordered and had them delivered to the table, thanking the waiter who brought them over.

──── ୨୧ ────

you excuse yourself from the girls for a moment, wanting some fresh air and to light up a cigarette. you were dying for one and the alcohol in your system wasn’t helping your case either. as soon as you stepped out the club, you felt the night air hitting you and you let out a soft sigh. the wind made you feel a little bit more sober. you spark up a cig and place it between your lips, inhaling and breathing in the smoke. oh, how you missed this.

“got a spare?” you recognise that voice from anywhere. you gaze up and see haechan standing just opposite you, a lazy grin on his face as he stared you up and down. you just give him the one you were just smoking and spark up another. “thanks.” he says as he leans against the wall beside you.

“no problem,” you respond coldly as you look away, trying to find anything other than him to look at but you can’t help your eyes from wandering back.. he looked good tonight. his floppy brown hair was slicked back nearly, his golden skin glistening under the street light that was outside the club, a leather jacket and his white shirt adorning his body. you swore to yourself the last time you saw haechan that you still hated him.. but he knows otherwise and deep inside, so do you.

“still claiming you hate me then?” he eyed you, turning to lean on his shoulder now. you cough, “what?” you didn’t expect him to ask you that out of the blue. “you tell your friends you hate me but i know you can’t get enough, y/n, you’re not very secretive with it, huh?” he blew smoke out into the air. you focused on the way his lips parted a little, his jaw.. his adam’s apple.

you shake your head, “you’re seeing things lee donghyuck, maybe you should see someone for these delusions?” he just laughed in your face and threw his (your) cigarette to the ground, “yeah.. maybe i should, huh? but i won’t if you come crawling back again tonight,” he says before stepping on it to put it out properly and walking back inside the club. you go on your phone after he’s left and quickly type something on twitter, posting it to your private account.

you decide to head back inside and you just can’t seem to get your mind off of him, your eyes wandering around the club to find him. you see he’s got a pretty girl slung around him, she’s pressing her body up against him. never mind, you definitely hate him, why were you even starting to like a frat boy anyway? hello?

[playingcupid-betweenidiots]

Through Her Shadows

Synopsis: Y/N fled her small hometown years ago, haunted by the relentless bullying from the towns popular boy, the one who made her an outcast. When a family pressure brings her back, she's stunned to find that same boy has changed. Seeking redemption, he apologizes and reveals the pain he hid behind his cruelty.

Pairing: Engineer!Jake x Doctor! Reader

Note: This like my second imagine and the first one which is so long, if you want a part two of this then please let me know. I've wanted to start the New Year with something I love to do but haven't done in so long. Requests are open and I will try to get them done in time before exam season (which I might not have a lot of this year)

_________ ♡♡♡♡___________♡♡♡♡__________♡♡♡♡_______

December 2024

"Mom you know I can't get leave at such a short notice.....", I say to my mother on the phone while getting ready for work, "Y/N honey I know but grandma wants to see you, she wants you to come celebrate the holiday with us at least once". I sigh, "mom you know I don't want to come back", I lock my door and head for the bus stop, "honey I know but she wants to see you at least once she says she wants to see you at least once before her times up", I sigh and roll my eyes at my grandmothers dramatics. "I'll see what I can do, you know the hospital doesn't do leave on such short notice", "I know but thank you, I'll make your favorite when you get here", I chuckle, "Thanks mom talk to you later". After hanging up my bus arrived, I sat down and looked out the window.

September 2016

"Move out of my way orphan!", Someone shoves past me, my back hits the wall, "What the fuck!", I say glaring at the person, "Aw is someone mad, why don't you go ask your dad to console you oh oops forgot he doesn't exist for you", the girl laughed in my face. I felt myself growing angry but I knew I couldn't do anything. I can't afford another fight. One more outburst, and I might get expelled, my mother- she can't afford another tarnish to her reputation. I can't do that to her. Not after everything. I sigh and turn around. "Hey nerd, cat got your tongue", I hear the voice of the one who started this all, Jake Sim. This man hated me for no apparent reason, the second I stepped foot into this school he acted like the I was the sole reason of the world being a shitty place. "Don't you have better things to do Sim", "Nah putting someone like you in their place is the most entertaining thing for me so no I don't have better things to do," Jake taunts, his smirk wide and cruel. My stomach twists, but I bite down the anger that bubbles up and turn on my heel and walk away.

April 2017

The hallway buzz with the last-day excitement, but it feels like I'm moving in slow motion. Everyone else is heading to class, packing their things, making plans for the summer, and saying goodbye to our youth. Meanwhile, I feel like I'm just a marking in time, waiting for the bell to ring so I can disappear in the crowd and hopefully be forgotten or be a distant memory. Either way I hope to be a drifting memory like the wind.

The morning after graduation is eerily quiet. The streets are still, the excitement of yesterday already fading into the past. Staring at the suitcase in front of me, half-packed, my hands hover over the clothes inside. I don't move to finish, it doesn't feel real. Graduation was a blur-more like a ceremony I had to get through than something I should've been excited about and how could I be excited, I was finally getting away from the place and people who made my life a living nightmare I couldn't wake up from. Everyone else was celebrating, and I was just.........there. I stand finally forcing myself to finish packing, though part of me was still stuck in yesterday-still stuck in the echoes of his taunts, the heat of anger that I never got to release. But I can't let this tie me down. This town. These people. Him. It's all in the past now.

The suitcase is packed. The door to my room is open. I stand in the doorway, looking back at the life I've come to resent. Everything feels strangely.....mute. The memories of school, of classmates, of fights I never wanted to have-they all blur together, like fading colors in a forgotten painting. I grab my coat, pull it on, and step outside. My mom's car is already idling by the curb, the engine humming softly in the morning silence. Her face drawn, but she says nothing as I get in. She doesn't have to. We both know what today means. "Ready?" she asks, her voice quiet, tentative. I nod, a tightness in my chest that I can't quite explain. "Yeah....ready."

And for the first time, I don't look back.

Present day

I shake my head coming back to reality, there is no good for me to be hung up in the past now. I get off at my stop and head inside the hospital, people greeted me as I walked to the locker room to change into my uniform. Once I am done I head out and to the nurse station. "Chaemin good morning, what's the schedule for today?" I ask as I go over the file of my patients. "Good morning to you too doctor, today you have consultation....." she goes on about my day and I nod.

After a hectic day I sighed feeling happy since my boss allowed me to take leave for the holiday. I get on the bus and call my mom. "Mom I'm coming over for the holidays" I could hear her squeal in excitement, "Oh my goodness I am so happy to hear that I know grandma is going to be so happy." I chuckle and continue to talk to her until I get home and start packing.

Once I got to my parents house I sighed, it's been years since I came back here. I went in and was immediately tackled in a hug. I laughed "Soobin long time", I say to my cousin. "You idiot you haven't come to see us in so long I thought you forgot about us," "how could I when you are so annoying anyone could remember you," he scoffs at my words "as if you are any better", I punch him in the rib "hey!" I exclaim. Soobin scoffs and rolls his eyes, but there's no malice behind it. It feels good to be back in the warmth of family after everything I've been through. It's been so long since I felt this sense of belonging. The house was filled with warmth, laughter, and the sounds of dinner being prepared. I settled in my old room, a bit smaller than I remembered, but it had the same familiar organization-my pens being in a clear box separated in different colors and my books being set to one side. It felt like a time capsule of my younger self.

As the evening unfolded, we ate dinner together, my grandma gushing over how I am finally home for the holidays. Soobin and I bickered like we used to, my aunt chided us both for making too much noise, and my uncle shared stories from his job he got this summer. We all laughed, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't feel alone. I didn't feel like an outsider. It was just...normal. After dinner, we played a few rounds of different games. Me and Soobin teamed up and though we lost miserably, we had fun. We all laughed, and I couldn't help but feel a warmth that had been missing from my life for far too long.

As the last of the laughter died down and the kitchen light was switched off, I grabbed my jacket and stepped outside, needing a bit of space after a long day of family time. The quiet of the neighborhood wrapped around me, and I started walking aimlessly down the street. I hadn't been back here in so long, and everything felt so different, but somehow, it felt the same. The houses, the trees lining the sidewalks-it all brought back memories I had tucked away for years. There was a kind of peace in the stillness of the night. I kept walking, not really sure where I was going, just needing to clear my head. The night seemed to stretch on, and I lost track of time, the quiet rhythm of my footsteps accompanying my wandering thoughts. But then, just as I rounded the corner, I heard a familiar voice, one I wished not to run into during this trip.

"Well, well......Look who's back." I froze. The voice was unmistakable. Jake Sim. Of course, why wouldn't he show up now? I turned, and there he was, leaning against a lamppost, his usual smirk plastered over his face, but something was different-he wasn't as cocky as usual. His shoulders were a bit slumped, and his gaze didn't quite meet mine at first. "What do you want, Sim Jaeyun?" I asked, my tone neutral, though the resentment I'd felt towards him for so long was still lurking in the background. Jake seemed to hesitate for a moment before pushing himself off the lamppost. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, a gesture I hadn't seen from him before. His usual bravado was gone, replaced by something...apologetic. "I-" he began, stopping himself, his voice softer than I could ever remember and imagine. "Look, I know I've been an asshole. And ... well, I don't know why I've treated you like that. You didn't deserve it."

I blinked, surprised by the shift in his tone. Sim Jake, apologizing? I wasn't sure how to process it, but there was no mistaking the sincerity in his voice now. It felt like he actually mean it. But then I started to get angry. "I guess I've just... had this stupid idea-" "Stop" my voice hiding what I was truly feeling. Jake froze, "What?" "Stop it Jake, you can't... don't do this to me..." For a moment, I just stood there, it was hard to believe that this was the same guy who made my life miserable for so long. But here he was, looking at me with this raw honesty that made me feel nauseous. I crossed my arms, "you hurt me," I said softly, my voice calm but firm. Jake nodded, a quiet acceptance in his eyes. He took a deep breath. "I don't expect you to forgive me right away. Hell, I wouldn't blame you if you never did. But... I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry for being a jerk to you." The sincerity in his apology was like a weight lifting off my chest. It didn't fix everything, and it certainly didn't make up for years of pain, but hearing him say it-hearing him admit that he was wrong-was enough to shift something inside me. It wasn't about forgiveness, not yet anyway. But it was a start.

"Please leave Jake, I want to be alone right now" I said turning away from him. "Y/N..." he was gonna say something but then he stopped, he turned and walked away, his steps slower and more thoughtful than usual. I watched him go, not sure what to make of it all, but something inside me told me this was the beginning of something new-not just for him, but for me too. I continued my walk, my thoughts being a little messed up after the meeting with Jake. I knew the past didn't have to define me anymore.

January 2025

Over the next few weeks, every encounter with Jake felt like another step into a tangled web I wasn’t sure how to navigate. I couldn’t help but notice how different he seemed—his posture, the way his eyes avoided mine as if he feared I might see the truth he wasn’t ready to share. Every time we crossed paths, there was a weight in the air, thick and suffocating, and I couldn’t figure out if it was because of the past, or something else.

The third time I saw him was at the local bookstore. I’d been wandering the aisles, looking for something to distract me from everything that had been swirling in my mind. I didn’t notice him at first, but I heard his voice—the same voice that used to sneer at me in the halls of high school, the same voice that would whisper insults as he passed me by.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice quiet but filled with something unrecognizable.

I froze. I didn’t want to turn around, didn’t want to face the man who had made my teenage years a living nightmare. But something in his tone stopped me. It wasn’t the arrogant, dismissive Jake I used to know. This time, his words were softer, hesitant.

Slowly, I turned to face him. My eyes met his, and I saw it—the guilt, the regret, the longing. It hit me harder than I expected, and for a moment, I couldn’t breathe.

“Jake,” I said, my voice careful. "What do you want?"

He flinched, as if my words physically hurt him. But when he spoke, there was no trace of the old Jake, the one who had laughed at my expense, the one who’d made me feel small.

“I just... I’ve been trying to find the right words to say,” he started, his hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets, his voice trembling with something I couldn’t place. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I have to say it, even if it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

I blinked, trying to make sense of his words. "Forgiveness?" The word felt strange coming from him, so foreign, so different from the boy who once tormented me. "Jake, what are you talking about?"

He took a step closer, then hesitated, as if unsure of how much distance he could close before I would push him away. "I know I hurt you, Y/N. I was awful, and I... I didn’t even realize what I was doing. I was cruel. I—" His voice broke, and I saw a flash of pain cross his face, something raw and real that I had never expected from him. "I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could undo all the times I made you feel worthless. I wish I could make up for the things I did to you."

The words hung in the air, and I could feel the sincerity in his voice. But I couldn’t let myself forget what he had done. Couldn’t let myself forget the way his cruelty had shattered my self-worth, how I had spent years fighting to rebuild the person I used to be.

“You can’t just apologize for all of it and expect everything to be okay, Jake,” I said, my voice trembling despite myself. “What you did... it changed me. I’m not the same person I was before.”

His eyes dropped to the floor, and I saw his chest tighten with a deep breath, as if the weight of his regret was physically painful. “I know. And I don’t expect you to forget it. I don’t even deserve your forgiveness. But I need you to know that I would do anything to make it right. Anything to... to earn back some of the trust I ruined.”

I shook my head, feeling a storm of emotions rising within me. "Why now?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. "Why come to me now, after all these years?"

Jake looked up, his eyes filled with an ache that made my chest tighten. “Because I can’t live with myself knowing what I did to you. I’ve spent so much time trying to push it all down, pretending it didn’t matter, but it does. You do. You always have, even when I was too stupid to see it.”

His words struck me harder than I expected, but the pain from all those years of torment still lingered, still pulsed through my veins. I couldn’t just forgive him because he was sorry now. That wasn’t how it worked.

“Jake,” I started, taking a step back, feeling the distance between us grow. “You can’t fix the past. You can’t undo the damage.”

He stepped closer again, his eyes never leaving mine, and the way he looked at me... it was almost as if he was pleading with me, silently begging me to understand.

“I know I can’t undo it,” he said, voice tight, almost desperate. “But I’m asking for a chance. Not for your forgiveness right now—maybe I don’t deserve it. But I want to show you that I’ve changed. I want you to see that I’m not the same person I was back then. I’m so sorry for everything, Y/N. I can’t take it back, but I can try to be better. For you.”

There was a tremor in his voice, a rawness that made something inside of me ache. For the first time, I saw Jake as he truly was—vulnerable, remorseful, and… yearning. Not just for my forgiveness, but for something deeper. Something more.

And as much as I wanted to push him away, to tell him it was too late, to remind him of everything he had done... part of me couldn’t help but wonder if he meant it. If he really had changed.

“I don’t know what to say,” I whispered, my heart pulling in two different directions. “I need time, Jake. I need time to even... understand this.”

His face fell, and for a brief moment, I saw the hope in his eyes die. But then, almost like he couldn’t help it, he stepped closer again, his voice barely audible. “I’ll wait, Y/N. However long it takes. I’ll wait for you. Because I... I don’t know what I’d do if you couldn’t find it in yourself to forgive me. Or... if you couldn’t even... love me again.”

The words hit me like a wave. He hadn’t just come for my forgiveness. He had come because he needed more than that. He needed my love.

But I wasn’t ready.

Not yet.

And as I turned to leave, I couldn’t help but feel the ache of his longing in my chest, too.

[st-kitten]

brat party pilot

pt.2

frat parties were what was keeping konoha university interesting enough to attract new students. the legacy kids dominated the campus, the sorority sisters added their feminine flair, but the newcomers? absolute meat.

sasuke, the cool, collected, 'do not talk to me' rich kid always used these parties as an excuse to get high, drunk, and found himself in meaningless hook ups to kill time. this party was no different.

or so he thought

this chapter was inspired by @gingerkunoichii 's work NEGATIVE SPACE

warnings: alcohol, suggestive language, lesbian kiss (warning because it's so hot), weed, coke, making out, blowjob, peeing? (not in a piss kink way)

you hated parties. not the idea of them—getting together, getting drunk, and waking up with an embarrassing memory or two wasn’t the problem. but this one? this wasn’t a party you could skip. you needed to find a club to survive the academic year, and the stronger your social network, the smoother your university life would be.

you stepped into the massive frat house alongside another newbie, karin. her striking red hair stood out next to yours, which was coffee brown, almost black. the place was packed.

at least you’d had the sense to dress for it. a black deep-neck slip, an animal-print skirt brushing your thighs, stockings, and knee-high boots. you’d added a few vivienne westwood earrings and a necklace for good measure. the nose piercing and the ten others on your ears? perfect. you fit right in with the edgy crowd buzzing around you. at least the impostor syndrome didn't show.

sasuke leaned against the bar, his whiskey on the rocks barely touched, the glass sweating in his hand. his eyes tracked the chaos of the party, but his face gave nothing away. the pounding music, the reek of alcohol and sweat—it all blurred into background noise. none of it mattered.

he knew how these things went. naruto and sakura would scout for new people to be in their clique, and most would end up forgotten by the end of the party.

"right on time," chirped sakura, who was just itching to get drunk.

ino, the tall blonde, dragged you and karin into the group, recognising your 'deer-in-the-headlights' faces. while the redhead immediately jumped into nervous conversation, you took a moment to observe everyone. you fucking wanted to run away and shove your own head in some trashcan. you looked around, taking in the blazing atmosphere of the party. black lights, discoballs hung on the ceiling, bass rattling like small plosive bombs. it was too loud for your taste.

sasuke’s eyes narrowed just a little when he caught the curve of your tits under her jacket. his gaze lingered for a beat longer than he meant to before he forced himself to look away, his expression unreadable. the thought crossed his mind—too quick, too distracting—but he shoved it aside, focusing on the whiskey in his glass instead.

naruto, bigger and bulkier than ever, strode over with that magnetic energy of his. he threw an arm around karin and your shoulders like you’d been friends forever, grinning as he welcomed you both to the university. karin looked even smaller next to him, but at least you didn’t. you were taller than most of the girls—except maybe ino—so you didn’t feel completely dwarfed by his presence. he brought a 'you jump, i jump' vibe to the party. you could tell this kind of presence warranted him being the flagship face of parties.

a quick round of introductions did you some good to put names to memorable faces.

sasuke didn’t bother joining the conversation, content to sit back and watch how the newcomers fit—or didn’t fit—into the established group.

"ignore sasuke, he's in his sulking era," bristled ino.

his thoughts were cut short by ino’s comment about his so-called “sulking mood.” his eyes flicked to her, cold and sharp, before he turned back to his drink like she wasn’t worth the effort. the tension in the air spiked, but sasuke didn’t care. the infamous uchiha aloofness was alive and well tonight.

his gaze slid over the crowd and landed on you again. there was something about you that kept pulling his attention, no matter how much he tried to ignore it. maybe it was the way you handled naruto’s boisterous energy without flinching, or the quiet confidence you seemed to carry without even trying.

karin elaborated on what clubs she was interested in, her sentences incomplete, her voice stuttering with god knows what jitter.

naruto looked down at you, "and you?"

you paused, taking a moment to think. truth was, you weren’t sure yourself. but you weren’t about to let a frat party dictate what club you’d end up joining.

"what’s the crowd-pleaser?" you asked instead, hoping to steer the conversation away from your indecision.

"ah, join the martial arts club with me, then. i’ll train you real good," he said, his tone dripping with suggestion.

sakura kicked naruto's shin. "not even ten minutes in, and you’re already trying to flirt. shameless."

you stood there, completely unfazed by naruto’s attempt at being flirty.

"what's your major anyway?" asked ino.

"international relations." you hated telling people that. everyone ended up assuming you were a know-it-all.

"i don’t know... we don’t really have a club for that. sports it is, i guess," sakura said with a shrug.

naruto snickered at that, clearly pleased we’d circled back to his suggestion. "don’t worry, sakura-chan, i’ll take care of her," he said confidently, his grip on your shoulder tightening a little, as he looked down at you again.

you crossed your arms, naruto’s still slung around your shoulder, and shot him a look. "mommy? sorry, mommy?" you deadpanned, mocking the way he was practically parenting the newbies.

that set the group off. tenten spit out her drink, choking on laughter, while ino and sakura doubled over, cackling. even hinata giggled quietly behind her hand.

as the others erupted into laughter at your jab at naruto, sasuke’s lips twitched ever so slightly, the corner of his mouth lifting in a rare, almost imperceptible smile. he couldn’t help it—he appreciated good wit when it was deserved.

tenten chimed, "if you're into ir, you've got to know your languages. do you?"

now that, you nodded without overthinking. if there was one thing you were a deadly expert at, was languages.

temari's eyebrow quirked since she was the head of the debate team, and often participated in the mock united nations events. "oh? care to elaborate?"

"english, french, german, italian, japanese, hindi, marathi"

naruto immediately shot back, "tell me you love me in french... or german," teasing with that grin of his. sakura kicked him again, clearly over it.

you just smiled at naruto, a hint of contempt in your expression. "bâtard sans vergogne..." you muttered.

of course, he didn’t catch the meaning, so he assumed you were playing along. what you really called him? shameless bastard.

as the party picked up speed and the noise hit deafening levels, it seemed like everyone was more or less shitfaced. meanwhile, you stood there, quietly thankful for your absurdly high alcohol tolerance. you'd already downed one glass of the party default god-awful punch—honestly, it should be classified as a crime—followed by tenten’s never-ending stream of vodka shots (about six, maybe seven, but who's counting?). then, of course, came the special concoction ino and naruto had whipped up (basically collecting all the spilled liquor that existed), which was probably dangerous enough to be considered a biohazard. somehow, despite all that, you were still only tipsy.

as someone who had walked the fine line between sanity and madness, the uchiha prince was acutely aware of how easily those lines could blur, leading to disastrous consequences.

he watched, his eyes sharp, as your usually composed demeanor began to slip. your movements grew more erratic, your words slurring just enough to catch his attention.

but there was another part of him—darker, more twisted—that found some kind of perverse fascination in watching your inhibitions fall away. it always happened with the newbies, this inevitable point where they embarrassed themselves, thinking they could demand unconditional loyalty and attention from konoha’s elite just because they were being included in the party games and whatnot.

when shikamaru showed up late—because of course he did—he passed around a joint to anyone who was interested. people scattered to sit on the lawn outside, some claiming camping chairs, others plopping down on the stairs of the patio. sasuke followed, his presence barely noticed. after all, nobody could ever predict his behavior, so he moved with that same quiet, unassuming air he always did.

you sat on one of the bean bags thrown on the grass. your usual poise seemed to crumble, replaced by a relaxed, almost seductive air. your body leaned trustingly on your own elbows, your long legs stretched ahead of you, your boots clacking against each other to the distant boom of the music coming from inside the frathouse.

a spin the bottle game was initiated, with kiba taking on the role of gamemaster, gleefully deciding what the dares would be.

the bottle spun and landed on tenten. kiba grinned mischievously and tossed out the dare: "chug a can of beer... in a handstand."

being the sporty little thing she was, tenten didn’t even flinch. without breaking a sweat, she flipped into a perfect handstand and downed the beer like it was nothing.

kiba’s eyes sparkled as the bottle landed on naruto, the challenge in the air thickening.

“alright, naruto,” kiba said with a sly grin, “i dare you to take your shirt off and let the girls write the most embarrassing things they can think of on your chest. no backing out.”

naruto blinked, then, as usual, grinned that wide, careless toothy grin of his. without hesitation, he pulled his shirt over his head, exposing his chest to the eager eyes of the group.

sakura was the first to indulge, scribbling 'swipe right casanova' on his chest. naruto smirked and slapped her ass when she turned around to sit back down.

ino snickered and wrote 'ask me about my feelings' on his abs, knowing how much naruto hated it.

tenten wrote 'i heart ramen' with a glitter sharpie. temari threatened to carve 'not as good in bed as you think' on his torso, but settled for a sketch of a dick on balls on his shoulder.

hinata, as much as she knew she couldn't go soft on naruto, just wrote the number 69 on his torso.

karin stumbled on her way to him and spent half the time touching his body, but wrote 'bad decision' on his stomach.

you pulled out you blood red liquid lipstick and wrote 'i only date my hand' on his left pec.

naruto looked like a graffiti wall. kiba took pictures like he was on journalistic duty, the flash making naruto's muscles stand out.

sasuke let out a snort at the sight, finding it amusing just how well the newcomers figured out what kind of a person he was.

kiba spun the bottle again and it landed on you.

when the bottle landed on you, kiba grinned, clearly expecting chaos. “i dare you to kiss sakura,” he said, his voice laced with obvious amusement.

both you and sakura rolled your eyes at his predictable intention to see two girls make out, but that didn’t stop you. you got off the bean bag, crawling over to sakura like a panther, who met you halfway with a smirk.

naruto, kiba, ino, and tenten erupted in hoots and howls, egging you both on. sakura and you kissed—at first, just a quick, teasing peck, but with the booze kicking in, it turned into something more.

what started as a casual kiss quickly became a proper, tongue-filled sloppy make out. her hands found your neck for support and you held her by her waist with one hand, letting your tongue slide in. sakura was no coward either, she bit your lip, and paved the way for a full-fledged open mouthed, wet kiss.

sasuke's eyes momentarily widened at the intensity of the kiss between you and sakura, a flicker of surprise cutting through his usual stoic expression. more so because you two were right in front of him. the raw passion, fuelled by alcohol, was a far cry from the timid pecks he'd seen before. he hadn't expected the newbie to be this bold, this daring.

he watched, transfixed, as you broke the kiss, your lips glistening with saliva, chest heaving with laughter. sakura chuckled and sat back in her camping chair.

naruto, grinning like a maniac after watching you and sakura, whined, "man, what will it take for you to kiss me?"

you still had sakura's lip gloss on your lips, and hers were stained with your dark red lipstick.

"200 bucks," you shot back, barely skipping a beat.

naruto moved with lightning speed, pulling out four $50 bills from the wallet in his pocket, waving them in front of you. without hesitation, you snatched them up, scooting closer to him. you pulled him in for the kiss, naruto's large hand grabbing the back of your neck, the crowd erupting around you—everyone except sasuke, who remained as unreactive as ever, but twitching just enough. the howls and whistles from the group rang out in the background, adding to the chaotic energy of the moment. kiba of course had recorded the whole thing with a phone in his shaky hands.

by the end of the night, most of them were hammered as hell. sasuke had vanished somewhere, probably off to brood in peace, while shikamaru lay sprawled out in a cloud of smoke from his fifth joint.

you could feel the alcohol settling in, and it was time for a bathroom break. weaving through the drunken chaos inside, you finally made it to the bathroom, only to find sasuke neatly carding a line of what you could only guess was coke.

"uh... sorry..." you mumbled

sasuke didn't flinch at your sudden intrusion, his focus remaining solely on the line of powder before him. he acknowledged you presence with a curt nod, his eyes never leaving the task at hand. with precise movements, he snorted the cocaine, the rush of adrenaline immediately heightening his senses. the uchiha prince felt invigorated, his mind clearing of the dull haze that had begun to settle over him. when he finished, sasuke turned to face you, his gaze piercing and intense.

"sorry... i uhh... had to pee..." you turned to leave to find some other unoccupied bathroom, bumping into the closed door.

sasuke pointed to the toilet seat in the bathroom.

"i'm not gonna pee with you standing here, if that's what you're implying"

a smirk tugged at the corner of sasuke's lips, his eyes glinting with a dark, mischievous intensity. "not necessarily," he said, his voice low and dripping with suggestion.

"can you like leave? fuck... i really have to pee, man"

sasuke simply leaned against the basin, his arms crossed. of course, he'd be someone who played games with people. of course.

you were too drunk to argue and not brave enough to wet you stockings with him watching.

groaning, you hitched your skirt up and little, pulling the thigh high stocking down enough. "fine. look away, though."

sasuke made no effort to do anything. his vision was half-impaired anyway. he stood there, his mind foggy, as you did your business. the sound of a single stream hitting the toilet bowl echoed in the small, barely lit bathroom.

"you're not high enough," he commented.

you were too drunk to muster a logical argument, and he was too far drugged to completely suppress his impulses.

"i'm not doing coke, if that's what you're asking," you slurred, your voice heavy with both defiance and hazy resolve.

sasuke chuckled, a low, almost predatory sound that sent a shiver down your spine. "i wasn’t offering it to you, love," he purred, his voice laced with dark amusement.

"there are other ways to get high," he said, pulling out a single joint, expecting to share. you shrugged, not minding it. sasuke lit the joint, taking a deep drag before exhaling a plume of smoke, and handing it to you when you stood up, pulling your panties and stockings up, and straightening your skirt and flushing the toilet.

as you shared the joint, passing it back and forth, the atmosphere in the bathroom grew heavier with tension. the haze of marijuana mixed with the effects of the cocaine, and the muffled sound of the rave music coming from outside the bathroom made everything feel liminal and surreal.

you had to lean against the bathroom sink, your palms gripping the cool marble counter for stability. sasuke stood in front of you, his presence towering, almost suffocating in the small space. the faint curl of smoke escaped his lips, drifting lazily toward your face, the scent sharp and intoxicating.

"you didn't play that spin the bottle thing... not social?" you asked, taking the joint from sasuke to take a short drag.

"social games aren't really my thing," he admitted, his eyes never leaving yours as he took the joint back and inhaled deeply.

exhaling slowly, the smoke curled lazily from his lips, his gaze dropping to your mouth as you formed a small 'o' around the tip of the joint. the sight stirred something in him, a flicker of desire sparking beneath his usually stoic exterior.

"or did you just not want to end up kissing naruto?" you asked, snorting a laugh at how most of kiba's dares revolved around getting people to kiss each other.

sasuke's expression stayed impassive, but the corners of his mouth twitched upward ever so slightly, betraying a faint hint of amusement. "maybe," he said, his voice laced with dry humor.

"what's your thing then?"

"my thing is power," he whispered, his voice low and husky. "and control."

his fingers traced a slow path along your jawline, tilting your face up to meet his piercing gaze. "when i take something, i take it completely. leave nothing behind but ruin."

the promise in his words was equal parts terrifying and exhilarating, like a siren's call to surrender to the darkness simmering beneath his calm exterior.

you blinked at him, processing his overly philosophical answer, and then burst out laughing, your forehead dropping against his shoulder as you struggled to catch your breath.

sasuke's initial surprise at your laughter quickly gave way to a begrudging smile, his lips curving upward in a rare display of reciprocation. he let his hand travel lightly up your hip, as he looked down at your forehead touching his shoulder.

you looked up straight, feeling dizzy "what... fucked up weed is this?"

sasuke's eyes narrowed slightly at your question, a flicker of unease crossing his features before he masked it with a shrug. "just a special blend," he said vaguely, his tone noncommittal.

his hand moved to your waist, steadying you as you swayed on your feet. despite your dizziness, he remained completely composed, his movements as precise and controlled as ever.

you sat down on the closed toilet lid, and sasuke stood towering in front of you.

"tell me," he murmured, his voice low and hypnotic, "what do you want right now?" if sasuke loved one thing, it was to get into people's heads and twist their minds to suit his needs.

the question hung in the air, thick with implication, as he waited for your response, his breath barely steady.

"honestly? i'd kill for gyoza," you mumbled, caught up in a fantasy about food.

a faint, enigmatic smile tugged at the corners of sasuke's lips, a glimmer of amusement flickering in his eyes. "gyoza, huh?" he mused, his voice almost too smooth.

leaning in closer, his breath brushed against your ear, his words a conspiratorial whisper. "i might know a place that serves the best gyoza in town. if you behave yourself, i might just take you there."

this shit was too easy for sasuke. clearly he expected some quick fuck to heighten his already euphoric state.

"says the guy who did coke... i'm the ideal student, buddy."

sasuke's eyes flashed with irritation at your jab, but he quickly regained his composure, a cold, calculating look settling over his features.

"you're one to talk, considering your current state," he retorted, his fingers grabbing your jaw, making you look up at him, emphasizing his point. "at least when i indulge, i know what i'm getting myself into."

there was a hint of disdain in his voice, a subtle reminder of the vast differences between your worlds.

"yes, yes... rich boy and the things he gets away with," you replied, the words tinged with a mix of amusement and irritation.

he leaned in closer, his face inches from yours, his hot breath mingling with yours.

"watch it," he warned, his voice low and menacing. "you don't know the half of what i've done, what i'm capable of."

a silent threat lingered beneath his words, a reminder of the depth of his world. "don't pretend like you understand my world."

with that, he pulled back, his demeanour once again icy and aloof, as if the moment of vulnerability had never happened.

you looked at him, pouting. "sorry..."

he reached out, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear with a gentleness that belied his harsh exterior.

"forget it," he muttered, his tone gruff but not unkind. "we're both a little... out of it right now."

his hand lingered on your cheek for a moment before withdrawing, leaving your skin tingling with the memory of his touch.

"are these parties always this intense?" you asked, your voice curious, considering this was your first-ever frat party on campus, while sasuke was already a second-year.

he hummed in agreement.

"i kinda like the bathroom more than the party," you said, looking around at the dimly lit bathroom.

you had to strain your neck to look up at him, you face right in front of his crotch. "also smells nice... whatever that... room freshener is." you swore you knew that smell.

"i prefer a certain scent," he explained, his voice strained.

reaching into his pocket, he produced a small bottle of cologne, holding it out to you.

you didn't have to see it to recognize it. "oh, you dior sauvage boys... fucking toxic," you chuckled.

how dare she dismiss his refined taste in such a cavalier manner? "toxic, huh?" he spat, his voice dripping with venom. "well, at least i don't reek of cheap perfume like some people i could mention."

his eyes raked over you, taking in the way your clothes clung to your curves, the sweet, floral scent of your perfume wafting up to tease his senses.

"hey, don't insult miss dior..." you defended your perfume, looking up at him.

from his view, all he saw was a pair of brown doe eyes and a cute face.

he leaned in closer, his breath ghosting across your parted lips as he whispered, "oh, i wasn't insulting it. just you."

"but since you brought it up..." he paused, his lips hovering millimeters from yours. "maybe i should show you how a real man handles a woman in dior."

sasuke was a master at manipulating women, his quiet intensity a weapon he wielded with precision. he always knew what he wanted—and he took it, no hesitation. he understood that neither of you were in any state to go all the way, but a little indulgence? that was nothing. his fingers brushed through your hair with a cold, almost predatory gentleness, as if stroking a cat he owned, standing tall and looming over you like a shadow.

sasuke's fingers tangled in your hair, guiding your head closer to the prominent bulge straining against his zipper. his voice was a low, husky purr, dripping with sinful intent, "you know where this is going, don't you?"

"buddy i'm stoned. might just bite your dick off"

a dark chuckle rumbled in sasuke's chest at your bold declaration, his eyes glinting with wicked amusement. "Oh, I highly doubt that," he drawled, his confidence unwavering. his free hand reached down to unzip his fly, and tug his boxers down, slowly revealing the thick, hard length of his erection. he gave himself a deliberate stroke, his cock pulsing with need as he watched your reaction.

"come on, live a little," sasuke coaxed, his voice low and persuasive. "you wanna impress your seniors, don't you?"

you blushed when his long, leaking, hard dick came into your view. "yeah, that's not gonna fit in my mouth" you mumbled, absolutely high from the joint sasuke had shared with you.

sasuke's smirk widened at your candid assessment, his ego stroked by your clear fascination despite your doubts.

he stepped closer, his heated breath washing over your flushed cheeks as he guided your head toward his throbbing erection. "hm, only one way to find out, sweetheart" 

with a firm but gentle pressure, he urged your lips to part, the swollen head of his cock nudging against your soft, inviting mouth.

based on whatever you knew about it, you pressed slow, wet kisses to his head first.

a low groan escaped Sasuke's throat as your warm, moist lips enveloped the sensitive tip of his cock, your tongue darting out to swirl around the crown. your tentative exploration sent sparks of pleasure racing through his veins.

"that's it, baby... suck it." his voice was a ragged whisper, laced with desire and barely restrained lust. 

after a few unflattering licks, you gently took his head in your mouth, licking the small slit with your tongue.

"fuck..." he gasped, his hips jerking involuntarily as he struggled to ride out the intense waves of bliss crashing over him.

as your lips stretched to accommodate his girth, sasuke's eyes rolled back in his head, a choked cry of ecstasy escaping him. the feeling of your hot, velvety mouth enveloping his thick shaft was indescribable, each subtle bob of your head sending jolts of electricity straight to his core.

he watched, transfixed, as your cheeks hollowed with each suckle, your lips gleaming with saliva as they worked his rigid length.

 you used your hand to stroke what didn't fit in your mouth. you sucked his cock way too much like a pro for someone who was completely stoned.

"you're a quick learner, aren't you?" he murmured, his voice rough with arousal.

his fingers tightened in your hair, guiding your pace as he began to thrust shallowly, savouring the feeling of your tongue dancing along his sensitive underside. "that's it, baby... take it all..."

your neck started to hurt, so you got off the toilet seat and sank to your knees in front of him, the new angle letting him thrust deeper inside, and allowing you to take more of him.

his vision blurred at the sudden increase in depth, his cock plunging past your lips and into the warm, welcoming recesses of your throat. he grunted, his fingers digging into your scalp as he revelled in the tight, silken heat surrounding him.

"fuuuck..." he hissed, his hips snapping forward to bury himself to the hilt.

your muffled moans and the obscene suction of your mouth, filled the room, creating sounds of depraved pleasure. at one moment, his thrust went deep, bottoming out, fully lodged in your mouth, to your throat. you simply moaned around his dick, the fullness choking you, each brutal thrust pushing your head back and forth until your nose was pressed against his pelvis, the short tuft of black hair rubbing against the bridge of your nose. he grunted between clenched teeth, his balls slapping lewdly against your chin with every savage plunge.

as his orgasm crashed over him, sasuke's vision tunnelled, his consciousness consumed by the overwhelming sensations coursing through his body. he felt your throat constrict around him, milking his cock for every last drop of his release, and the knowledge that you were swallowing his seed only heightened his pleasure. with a final, shuddering thrust, he emptied himself into your willing mouth, his cum painting your lips and chin with thick, white streaks. as the aftershocks subsided, he watched, transfixed, as his spend dripped down your face, neck, and pooled on your breasts, seeping between your plump tits.

panting heavily, sasuke slowly withdrew from your mouth, his softening cock slipping free with a wet pop. sasuke's gaze remained fixed on your cum-streaked face, his chest still heaving with exertion as he tried to regain some semblance of composure. when you licked your lips clean, a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. he pulled you up and crashed his lips into yours, tasting himself on your lips.

he'd zipped his dick back inside, though it kept twitching from time to time. he made out with you against the bathroom tiles, letting his hand slip inside your top, cupping your breasts over your lacy bra, his fingertips gliding against the streak of cum that was pasted over your flesh.

sasuke's fingers found your pert nipples through the thin fabric of your bra, rolling and pinching them roughly as he continued to ravage your mouth. the sensation of your hardened peaks beneath his touch sent a fresh wave of desire coursing through him, his half-hard cock stirring once more within the confines of his pants.

at the sound of the bathroom door banging open, sasuke's expression darkened, his grip on your breast tightening almost painfully. he growled low in his throat, clearly not pleased at the interruption to their heated encounter. "fuck..." he muttered, his voice laced with irritation and residual lust.

your made yourselves presentable and exited the bathroom, letting the random student use it. the sudden bright lights and the noise only made you uncomfortable. a stark contrast to the cosy, intimate setting the bathroom had been.

the party had wrapped up, leaving a trail of discarded cups and empty bottles scattered across the floor. most people had passed out in various corners of the house, still drunk from the chaos of the night. sasuke slipped out unnoticed, his usual need to retreat and isolate himself taking over, as it often did when the noise became too much.

you followed suit, the events of the night lingering in your mind but not enough to keep you from the looming task ahead. there were classes to enrol in, decisions to make, and the chaos of the party was quickly forgotten as you turned toward your responsibilities.

as he walked towards his bike, his mind replayed the events of the evening, particularly his intense encounters with you. the memory of your lips wrapped around his cock, the feel of your throat constricting around him, sent a shiver down his spine.

boy was he glad he showed up to that stupid party.

[anchrblack]

masterlist | ao3

completed fics:

way to go, tiger | 20k | completed

christopher sees eddie with kim and panics, calling buck instead of his grandparents. eddie breaks down, buck learns his place in the diaz family, and christopher realises that he does have two dads. the three of them realise they've been home far longer than they've known. (the post s7 finale fix-it fic.)

the closest to heaven i'll ever be | 4k | completed

Their breaths sync, chest rising and falling in unison. Buck’s never felt like this, warm all the way to down to his bones. He’s sure they look ridiculously entwined, legs tangled and curled into each other with barely a few inches between them. Buck, with one hand running through Eddie’s hair and the other curled over his chest, and Eddie half-draped all over Buck, palm cupping the small of his back. It’s intimacy like Buck’s never known, not with any of his partners.

(buck has a panic attack. eddie's the one who finds him. )

i'll make this feel like home | 2k | completed

“You hate the loft. I hate the loft. Everyone hates the fucking loft, Buck. Move in with me already.” Eddie's cheeks are flushed a darling pink, his brown eyes sparkling.

(the one where buck has anxiety about his endless to-do list, and eddie asks him to move in. and oh, they’re in love.)

a golden tattoo | 1k | completed

for thousands of years, sailors have used polaris to find their way home. buck & eddie do the same.

when i'm all over your mouth | 2k | completed

the house is empty, and buck & eddie are ridiculously in love.

wips:

lovelorn (everybody knows) | 10k | 3/?

“I don’t think I’m made to be loved,” Buck mumbles sleepily. Eddie’s heart stops beating. “What?”

(one drunken confession has eddie spiralling to make sure buck knows just how loved he is. featuring a confused buck, christopher and jee-yun being the cousins of all time, and wine nights with karen and maddie.)

every thorn has its rose | 14k | 3/4

christopher calls eddie. a roadtrip, long overdue conversations with his mother, and a love that'll keep him safe through the dark. eddie's boys come home.

this bleeding heart | 10k | 2/?

the age old story about falling in love with your best friend.

[brooklynxcox]

"That is literally what I said." She said before a small fit of laughter. "I don't want people to laugh at me. At least not with me at the butt of the joke." She's had enough of that. "Yeah, sorry I didn't tell you sooner. Like I said, started out as a work thing." She did get a lot of nice things out of it, but his support was priceless, worth more than anything he had given her. He was there for her when no one else was. He took care of her and she did;t want to see that all go away because of a silly men's piss-shooting contest. That all this really was now, Dante and the society leaders seeing how far they could go. "You really think so?" She asked honestly, "That doesn't make me a bitch or have fucked up morals? I mean can't get much worse than I've already done but you know." Prostitution was enough of a sin for her. She told herself she couldn't stay involved if they actually had feelings for each other or were trying to make it work, she would walk away if she had to. Again, they weren't even serious, she was just spiraling. "I want to go back to school." She blurted out. She listed her head to look at him, he said he would support any decision she'd make. "I never finished high school, ran away before I could get my diploma. I want to get my GED and I want to go to college. But I'll need some help, possibly from a very skilled hacker, plus I think you may be the only person I could tell that next bit too that wouldn't hate me after."

"Well, technically speaking, they'd be laughing at you ... not with you. Y'know ... in case that makes a difference or anything." He knew that things for her hadn't always been easy. That was something they had in common, even if their stories were different. "Two months? Jesus." He didn't know what to say about all of it. Was it a little weird that someone he considered a close friend was dating his boss? Definitely. However, he could push it aside and ignore those feelings. Henry was more than capable of compartmentalizing things. A talent he was grateful he possessed. "Look. who you choose to fuck or get into relationships with is your choice," he told her, shrugging. "Just 'cause he's supposed to marry someone doesn't mean he can't have some fun, too. I think it'll be okay." He wasn't trying to know too much information about people's affairs. He could keep a secret, of course, but he preferred being left out of certain things. "You have to do what you think is best for you. If ending it is right because you don't want to be a side piece, then that's okay. I'll support whatever decision you make."