#i hate dating i just wanna be married
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The first time Jake brought Bradley home it was early fall, the drive from the airport was long but they were accompanied by the golden fields and the rare orange tree blowing in the wind, Jake was humming along to the music as Bradley drifted in and out of conciseness against the window of Jakes truck.
After greeting Jakes family and eating dinner with them they escaped to Jakes little house on the other side of the ranch. Bradley unpacked while Jake went outside to "deal with something real quick". After half an hour Jake came into the bedroom where Bradley was sprawled out on the bed, he had something to show him.
At the door Jake handed Bradley one of his jackets since he didn't bring one and they stepped out into the cool night air, hand in hand. Jake pulled Bradley around to the back of the house where there was a small bonfire and a two person lawn chair with a thick blanket, Bradley's face softened as he looked at Jake, the fire lit up both their faces with a soft warm glow, Bradley pecked Jake on the cheek before they walked to sit down. They curled up together under the blanket and watched the fire burn, Jakes head on Bradley shoulder.
#saw an instagram reel about needing to share a blanket with someone by a fire and it made me wanna cry#what if i died huh#when is it my turn to be happy#i hate dating i just wanna be married#hangster#jake hangman seresin#bradley rooster bradshaw#top gun
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There’s nothing quite like getting a wedding invitation from the guy you used to have a crush on in high school
#Hmm. Feels awful!!#Me to me: Maybe. I'm not quite over this.#IDK IT FEELS WEIRD MAN. I'm very happy for him. But also kinda bummed at the same time.#I think I'm more just dreading showing up and being like aha yeah! Here I am!#I haven't changed at all since we last spoke! Not at all!!#Nothing new or exciting going on with me ever. No accomplishments. No partner I can brag about. NOTHIN#Hey anybody wanna show up as my fake date. Fake dating to lovers AU /j#Idk it just feels wrong to keep hearing from my friends in high school who are all getting married and having kids#Meanwhile me. Who has never dated anybody ever. And has nothing to show from the past five years:#SORRY I'M JUST HAVING A MID-LIFE CRISIS I GUESS. AT THE RIPE OLD AGE OF 26.#Me: I've been dealing with my anxiety and depression on the daily for years now and yeah that's it how are you#My friends: I got my dream job and I'm marrying the love of my life and I'm going to buy a house soon!!#I WANT TO CRAWL INTO A HOLE. AND DIE. YEAH. THAT SOUNDS GOOD#Sorry I need to sit here and feel pathetic and hate myself for a second. Then I'll get overe it#*over#Shima speaks#Maybe I can lie and say I've been backpacking through Europe for the last five months. LMAO
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I would like. To be in mutual love
#rant#yeah...#...........................................................................................................................................#look its like this. im chronically ill. i know its not totally up to me i cant go out 1-3 times a week trying ro meet ppl. i know i#cant even eat some days my tummy too upset. cant work some days cant even sit up. can barely keep up witj friends i already have#and i know the being drained wont get better. i might be this sick forever. and i know im prioritizing my own art over#meetjng strangers. thats a choice. i know its my own fault im lonely. i also just. i wanna build a relationship#that long term where u meet and become friends then best friends then fall in love and hey if ur lucky marry ur best friend#and i know that wont come from forcing myself on dates w ppl i dont like. i know no ones ever liked me before#i know i havent felt attraction in years anyway. i miss having a crush. but i suppose itd be sad anyway. to crush and not be liked back#to feel ill need to wait another 5 years for another rare crush. i dont believe in fate i dont think. so i might not ever#kiss someoje i like. i might not get lucky and hold a crushs hand. spend months or years with someone like that#i just. i hate so much romance isnt like skills. i cant just date 1x a week until i run into love#i cant even find 1 person a month to crush on let alone ask out. cause the feelings are luck too#luck of who u run into even if u go tl events. even wuen i had 10k tinder matches the only date#the only person who respjded. was someone with a gf who didnt have much in common with me and me not mucj w them and it#was just not enough click to even make a friend#god it makes me sad. id like to kiss someone special. hold their hand. hear em talk hours#i have friends and love em but i dont wanna kiss a friend. i just dont feel romancy very much.
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The fav I have the most frequent (and most intense) fights with is actually jing yuan btw
#pattering on the roof#he has a tendency to make me feel stupid and it’s not entirely by accident#he just can’t help himself#like JDNJFNEF I reference it in my meet fruit fic (which was Very selfship coded) but#the first massive fight we have is before we start dating when he’s still like courting me ig#and wheedles me into playing starchess w him#but I’m BAD at starchess okay I hate it I suck at it sucking at it makes me hate it more#and I like him so much and he’s so good and I wanna make a good impression but I SUCK and I leave every time upset#and he knows ofc he does. I’m improving and he loves seeing me improve which is why he keeps asking#eventually he’s like well maybe it’ll help if I let her win#no. it doesn’t. I blow up at him entirely bc I HATEEEE being condescended to and if u wanted someone who could beat u in starchess then go#find someone else u fucking asshole don’t humiliate me like that (<- face puffy weeping literally the only two people in the garden)#and I storm off sobbing. literally refuse to interact w him for MONTHS he’s making every excuse to bump into me and it’s full cold shoulder#I also never fully forgive him for it. we never play starchess again even centuries down the line after we’re married and he’s retired#n e way yeah#p much every fight is similar he just makes me feel dumb sometimes and I lash out at him#and frankly often it’s warranted bc not infrequently he provokes me on purpose#ss.🌧 yujing
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Good Grief I need to meet more dykes....
#listening to my barber talk abt their gf w tears in my eyes. i love lesbians <3#ik i literally live w another lesbian but all she talks abt is how married she is to her besties (both guys)#and her fictional guys or celebrity crushes (also all guys). and she hates all the dyke media i love (tlt baru etc) im literally starving#to be 100% clear im not invalidating her sexuality at all i would never#but i need someone to lez out with..... (figuratively. and literally inshallah) like what do i gotta do to talk abt women around here..#one of the queer community spaces here does gay speed dating but they call the dyke one 'sapphic' which puts me off it lmao#not a fan of the word... and i dont wanna meet uni students (there are a TON in this area). but maybe i just need to bite the bullet#and go anyway. when im not sick i need to get back on queer parkour too..#auuuurgh. but not this weekend cuz i have furniture to put together and a flat to clean and elden ring to play and myself to kill SLASH J#.diaries#feeling so bad in the head. im gonna put the hot water on and build another shelf and shower once its done ah...
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nothing to see here
#ok plz i wanna rant about how the new season of good omens is making me lose faith in humanity#girl tell me how ive trudged through 4 episodes of this season and i still dont know what the damn hell is going onnnnnn#every time i think we're getting somewhere with the 'story' the show slams the brakes to let me know that there're gay people on screen#does the coffee shop chick ever apologize to the record store chick bc i cant staaaand their romance.#like record store lady. girl. this isnt banter shes just straight up dissing your passion and life's work.#im scared to finish the season bc i just KNOW theyre gonna pull the whole 'i made u leave ur toxic partner now date me immediately' trope#ok so story beats aside my other gripe is how contrived the queer representation is in this show#i am a bi woman! my reaction to seeing wlw on screen should be 'yay! im happy theyre together' and not 'ugh this shit again?'#and also with az and crowley! what happened to their chemistry from the first season???#like on the one hand the whole 'bickering like an old married couple' schtick is lovely. but. theyre just faffing about most of the time!#remember the first season? when these characters had agency? and a semblance of intuition?#i am convinced that the majority of the characters in this season couldnt find their way out of a paper bag#i get theres a whole memory loss plot device thing happening. but it feels like Gabriel's cluelessness is like fucking infectious or smthn#i feel like an idiot for assuming that the characters i knew from the first season will be just as competent in this season. they arent!#i hated the whole 'continued' story in the wwii era. i feel like it was a pathetic ploy at giving mark gatiss more needless screentime#did they think people would find the nazi zombies amusing or something? why are we playing this off as a joke?#just admit you dont know what to do with the story and move onnnnnnnn#im gonna finish the season bc i feel like im owed the scene of david tennant sucking face with michael sheen.#itll be like reparations for having to slough through the rest of this nothing burger of a story jesuuuuuussss#ok rant over#good omens critical
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Looking for a bf is actually hard when you're looking for husband material
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In my Jane austen protagonist era and its eating me alive inside.
#russian guy is in love with me but needs to get married for his citizenship so is dating this girl#cant go back to russia or he'll get drafted cant date/marry me because he'll have to come out and then be arrested/killed#feels horrible i just wanna hold him like a baby but being with me puts his life in danger#also crying because it means he'll marry some woman and never get to bottom and he deserves that#like it sounds like a joke but it actually makes me so sad#i hate the fucking world#this is my diary i just gotta put this out into the world honestly that this is happening and it sucks and feels so archaic
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imagine the alternate timelines where the obligatory adult male playable character in haruka's part of y5 wasn't akiyama
#rambles#yakuza liveblogging#haruka and date. haruka and saejima (but only in a timeline where that one scene in y4 doesnt exist). haruka and daigo!!#we couldve had date in dad mode but like. *really* trying not to be a shitty dad after fucking up with his own daughter#saejima hollering at the top of his lungs in the crowd at the princess league and scaring the shit out of everyone in the vicinity#haruka and daigo commiserating over kiryu being a pretty shitty dad like 70% of the time#like how have we gotten *zero* on-screen interactions between kiryu's two (main) kids??? rgg studios i just wanna talk.#also daigo wouldve had haruka's agency running like a well oiled machine. wouldve been a damn vacation given what hes used to#old boss died? no problem- found a new one. we need money? got it. wheres it from? dont worry about it.#need a new dance coach? hired one yesterday. rival agency using their connections to be shitty? not for long theyre not.#i realize the plot of y5 wouldve had to have been completely different for haruka to have been paired with anyone but akiyama & maybe date#but its fun to consider#hell even haruka and majima couldve been fun if theyd just dropped the whole thing about park being majimas ex#(which they shouldve imo. i get that they wanted to have *something* to tie haruka's part into the overarching plot but like.#there was no need to give majima this weird throwaway backstory of him having been abusive to the 18 yo he married in his mid 20s#like they drop that bomb in passing and then never bring it up again. incredibly bizarre. just axe it entirely it adds nothing)#also to be clear: this is not akiyama hate. love that guy. i think he was a good choice for that section and i like his rapport with haruka#purely a thought experiment
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ROSEGOLD!!! YEAHHHHH!!! ROSEGOLD MY BELOVED!!! (but also amity and gus too <3)
"Canon divergence" but it's giving characters the close friendships I think they would have had if canon had expanded a little more.
#sorry i just got excited about sharing that one opinion akshfksdg#<- prev NO ITS TOTALLY OKAY#IM SO LITERALLY GLAD YOU SHOWED ME THIS#rosegold makes me so excited bc its deadass so underrated and like?? it has so muchhh potential for a dynamic#EVEN IF NOT IN THE SENSE OF THEM AS STEP SIBLINGS- like they would be such good friends#both giving the other absolutely horrible dating advice thinking theyre being helpful#clumsy behavior trying to pick up their crushes (even though theyre literally married to them. those fools)#and to think of amity and willow / luz and hunter being really good friends - they easily could team up to give one another advice#for suprises or dates#i have a disgruntled step sibling rosegold / enemies to lovers lumity dynamic stuck in my head#where hunter and amity are siblings but amity hates him just entering their family like ugh hes not my sibling... and hunter and luz being#best friends... luz venting to hunter about this girl that hates her and is so rude.. just to later fucking find out theyre literally#step siblings....#i wont ramble on but... hiii yes thank youuu for this sm sm sm#if u ever wanna hear me ramble lmk i will blab abt this au/concept#reblogging text#ur so right tho. ROSEGOLD ftw
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yay im upset again
#i hate how my brain works bc i just assume anyone i dont know is just stealing him away from me#i need to get a job again so that i can get over him and just be busy constantly#hard to work on my education if im constantly thinking abt killing myself ngl !#its just annoying like im always good at replying but it takes him like 10 years and god do i feel ignored and unwanted when it happens#im trying hard to be good and perfect but its just ….#i just wanna talk to him man i wish i could get the confidence to join call but#im just new to the game and theres always 13+ people in call and im also a woman so#and im not openly married/dating any of the tryharders or well known people so#like ill just be silent for ages and then leave when i get uncomfortable#not like he said he wanted to call or anything and then hasnt messaged me <3#is it bad that i dont want to start initiating things#bc ive been doing it for like . ages . and its just awful being on read#anyways talking to oomfie so hopefully i wont cut myself today !#jamie.txt
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miguel o’hara stars in… ‘THE SWEETER THE JUICE’ o(^-^)o
・゜゚・*:.。..。. miguel o’hara x reader .。. .。.:*・゜゚・
SMUT
now he’s finally got you pregnant, he’s gonna do what he’s been dreaming of all these years. suck. those. tits.
same universe as this miguel.
cw; lactation kink, pregnancy, breeding kink (not really but yknow me), dry humping, titties, older nerd!miguel, they’re finally married!
800+ words
@cheonstapes : she’s back! again!
if miguel had to pick a part of your body he loved the most, it’d definitely be your tits.
if you think he was obsessed before — you don’t wanna know what goes through his head as he watches you waddle around his house, carrying his kid, sighing every time you leak through another shirt. you had forgone a bra ever since you got pregnant, saying how uncomfortable they feel against your chest — not that he was complaining.
“for fucks-sake, again?”
he was so used to hearing you say that, he already had a shirt on hand for you to change into. you were so grateful for your doting husband that you completely missed that nasty glint in his eyes you usually only see when he’s bending you over the bed and fucking you raw — luckily for him.
“here, honey. lift your arms for me.”
as you do, he pulls the shirt up — the soiled fabric catching under your swollen breasts as he wiggles it off you. “ah, shit — thanks, baby. but fuck, am i’m so tired of changing shirts every 10 minutes!” you might be tired, but miguel cannot get enough of it. he was already so fucking hard, practically salivating at the sight of your bare breasts still leaking down your heavy belly.
“maybe you should just ditch the shirts all together, love — you know i hate seeing my beautiful wife uncomfortable.” miguel’s voice was a soft whisper in your ear, lips slowly tracing down the side of your jaw to your sensitive neck — kissing the skin so tenderly. his calloused hands gently massaged the taut flesh of your tits, probing and squeezing at your nipples to let out small trickles of that sweet milk.
“migs, how many times are you gonna say that?”
“as many as it takes for you to finally listen.”
the breathy laugh you let out did little to qualm the feeling deep in his gut — he was dead serious, there was absolutely no reason for you to be in shirts all the time when you have him to take care of you whenever you needed a good milking. his hips were already sinking into to the plush of your ass that he loved oh-so-much — especially with how much fatter it got during your pregnancy.
it was almost as if he had lost control of his body, a hand landing on your waist to bend you over the counter as he mindlessly ruts into you. “dios, nena, eres tan hermosa. vas a ser la mamá más guapa, ¿verdad? mm, my pretty, little mama.” miguel never failed to turn you on to no bounds, like, you have a walking greek god as a husband — but those fucking hormones were making it unbearable.
the force at which he was pushing against you had shifted your drenched panties to the side, leaving practically nothing between you and his drooling bulge. his fingers tightened around the fat of your hips, squeezing the flesh delicious hard as his free hand flipped you over — pushing your back against the edge of the counter. “shit…been waiting to taste these all fucking day, honey.”
mindful of your growing belly, he hiked one of your legs up on his hip — craning his neck down to suck on a pert nipple. wasting no time, and at a much better angle, he continued to grind against you — his tip catching against your engorged clit. “m—migs, baby, fuck…” the way he swirled and sucked so eagerly reminded you of when you first started dating, how determined he was to knock you up before the two of you even moved in together.
the taste was so addicting, some of your milk trickling down his body — dripping onto the ground beneath you. you knew he was about to cum, hard — his eyes had rolled back, breathing in heavy pants, hands rushing to pull down the waistband of his sweats. “gonna paint my girls in my cum, love — sé una buena chica y mantenlos juntos para mí.”
“‘course, baby.” you nodded breathlessly, squishing the globes of fat together as he pumped his cock dry — head thrown back as ropes upon ropes of his hot seed coated your tits, sliding into the self-made crevice. “god, what did i do in my past life to have a wife as sexy as you, mamí?” his spent cock bobbed against his thigh as he trapped you against the counter — kissing you deeply as his wet hands reaching up to rub the cum into the skin of your breasts.
“mmph — y’know, i heard cum’s good for the skin. it, uh, helps with the blood circulation in your tits — i think we should do this more often, love.”
“migs, if you weren’t, like — a whole scientist, i might’ve believed you. if you want a titjob, just say that.”
“…i mean, you said it — not me.”
all your home shirts were promptly locked away and never to be seen again.
-new year, new waiting for cheon to get her shit together andpost!
#cheonstapes#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel x reader#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara headcanons#miguel smut#miguel o’hara smut#cheonstapes films!🪷#miguel ohara x reader#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel spiderverse#miguel ohara fanfiction#miguel ohara x you#nerd miguel smut#nerd miguel
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me, seeing an 'x reader' fic in the serch results when i wasn't looking for those kinds of fics: holding hand to chest dramatically "excuse you i'm married"
#(he is very much poly and not married)#i don't wanna date ANY of these mfs /funny#tbf i only like reader insert fics if it's like not x reader like idk if i've ever seen one but sometimes maybe i#just wanna hang out with the mentally fucked up guys ever think about that huh?#well tbf i have to see enough of them in my head but i hate actually talking to people so#bee shouts
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DREAM GIRL.
pairings: jude bellingham x reader.
faceclaim: maya jama <3
summary: being the personal assistant of sir lewis hamilton has been the highlight of your career so far, even when he has you fetching organic vegan dog food for roscoe at six in the morning. but that was expected, what wasn’t expected was a certain english footballer taking an interest in you.
author’s note: shout out to my jude girlies! this one is for u! it’s also technically the 29th where i am, so happy twenty first to jude! now part of a series.
— wanna be tagged in any future works? fill out my taglist!
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liked by landonorris, yourbestie and 78,928 others.
yourusername: days lately 💐
view all 10,739 comments
user1: THE LEWIS PIC 😭😭
lewishamilton: you’re fired.
-> yourusername: this is the ninth time you’ve fired me this week.
-> landonorris: i’ll hire you y/n.
-> lewishamilton: shut up norris. don’t steal my assistant.
-> yourusername: I’VE BEEN REHIRED AGAIN WOOOOOO!
user2: why is yn the most entertaining f1 related person.
user3: guys, who is she??? she’s stunning!
-> user4: yn yln! she’s lewis’ assistant and practically family at this point. she’s been with him since she was 18. she just had her 24th birthday so they’ve worked together for almost 6 years! she’s so funny and if you’re a fan of lewis, you should definitely follow her!
charles_leclerc: roscoe and leo playdate when?
-> yourusername: roscoe is booked up for the unforeseeable future i apologise.
-> alexandrasaintmleux: oh no 😢
-> yourusername: suddenly he has an opening!!!! just for alex.
-> alexandrasaintmleux: yay! i’ll message you 😊💐
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liked by lewishamilton, judebellingham and 233,938 others.
yourusername: btw if you catch your girl smiling at her phone it’s probably something i posted. your girl thinks i’m hilarious and loves me more than you 🤷🏾♀️
view all 27,127 comments
carmenmmundt: caption is true!
-> yourusername: kissing you virtually <3
user1: i love yn sm.
-> user2: did u see her vlog for the lv event?? she feeds us sm. shirtless lewis in the beginning, jude bellingham in the background of the event and her posing with central cee at the end. she’s collecting british boys like she’s getting paid for it.
user3: marry me yn!!!!
lilymhe: roscoe is judging tf out of you 😭
-> yourusername: he hates to see me shine 😔
user4: YOU LOOK SO GOOD IM FROTHING
user5: why is jude in the likes omggg???
roscoelovescoco: you’s my favourite’s 🐶
-> yourusername: love u sm my baby 😢
user8: is it truly a yn post without a roscoe pic?
*liked by yourusername.*
user6: all the wags love yn. i need wag!yn expeditiously.
user7: can you even post this?? won’t you get fired?
-> yourusername: idk. take it up w/ my boss lewishamilton.
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START INSTAGRAM LIVE. (5K WATCHING)
YN: hi guys!! how are we all doing? you okay?
user1: YN I LOVE YOU!!
user2: im good!
user3: where are you?
YN: i’m currently in madrid right now for a event that lewis is involved in. i love madrid. much different to drizzly england.
user4: omg perfect timing.
user5: your bf is in madrid rn.
user6: god aligned your chakras 😍
YN: my bf???? guys i don’t have a boyfriend.
user7: you do now. boyfriend distribution system has done its job and he’s hot! and rich! and successful!
user8: lmfaooo ur face 😭
YN: who are you guys talking about. i promise you, i am single.
user9: jude bellingham posted a tweet asking if he could get more screentime in your next vlog 😭
user10: girl he wants you bad 😭
user11: and we don’t blame him!
YN: jude bellingham? the football player? isn’t he like twelve.
user12: he’s 21 girl 😭
user13: cancers rise !! ♋️
YN: i don’t date younger than me! he’s a baby!
user14: you are freshly 24 😭
user15: dw you are not kelly piquet girl 😭
user16: you should date him!!
landonorris: hi 😃👋🏼
YN: hi future boss dude
landonorris: i think you should date jude as well.
YN: et tu, brute?
END INSTAGRAM LIVE. (12K WATCHING)
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liked by trentarnold66, roscoelovescoco and 1,288,567 others.
yourusername: roscoe took me to the airport and we both sobbed and cried when i had to leave. i could barely enjoy looking at shirtless jude 😔
view all 45,928 comments
judebellingham: it’s okay. you’ll have plenty more chances to see it again.
user1: caption so real 😔
user2: how’s your holiday going?
-> yourusername: great! but i genuinely crave a roast dinner so bad. roast dinner with all the trimmings please and thanks 🙏🏾
user3: i thought you were lewis’ assistant 😭 why are you chilling with jude?
-> yourusername: i am lewis’ assistant but thanks to labour laws, i am entitled to holiday leave. i am on holiday right now.
-> lilymhe: without me? 😔
-> yourusername: sorry babe 😔😔
trentarnold66: thank god. jude wouldn’t shut up about you. so glad you’re together.
-> judebellingham: i’m praying on your downfall. hope your account gets blocked 🙏🏾
landonorris: you’re just on holiday? was hoping you’d been fired so i can hire you 😒
-> yourusername: i only work for world champions. nicorosberg, you hiring?
-> user4: MESSY ASS 😭
-> user5: yn could singlehandedly repair brocedes.
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— taglist: @23victoria @maxlarens @m1892 @stinkyjax @yelenasloverrrrr @tsireyasgf @landososcar @ourlifeforchaos @itseightbeats @xylinasdiary @chelle1306 @velentine @ariellovelynn @shhhchriss @f1kenzzz @lavisenri @namgification @hiireadstuff @theblueblub @lifeless-firefly @ctrlyomomma @evie-119 @starz4me1 (found yourself tagged in something you’d rather not be? refill the taglist with what you would rather be tagged in and leave a note at the bottom for me to delete your old form! if you’d like to be removed all together then send me an ask!)
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#jayde’s works ☆#dream girl universe シ#football x reader#jude bellingham smau#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham#jude bellingham x black reader#jude bellingham x y/n#jude bellingham fanfic#football x you#jude bellingham fic#f1 x reader
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⋆⭒˚.⋆ my dawg - ʟɴ4 ☆
✿ lando norris x influencer reader
✿ lando norris is down bad for his girlfriend and he has no shame about it
ᵃᵘᵗʰᵒʳˢ ⁿᵒᵗᵉ ୨୧ this is kinda pt 2 to walk em like a dog
🝮
yn
liked by pierregasly and 1,028,967 others
yn took my dawg out today
landonorris didn’t expect you to become a gymnast in the middle of dinner 😔
⤷ lilymhe HAHAHA
landonorris spit on me your so hot
⤷ yn kinky boy
georgerussell63 Perioddd 💅🏽
⤷ yn ok that’s enough
alexandrasaintmleux I miss you
⤷ yn i miss you more come over i’ll kick lando out
⤷ alexandrasaintmleux Walking to the door right now i’ll be there in 10
⤷ landonorris hello?
⤷ charles_leclerc Guess I’ll see you at the paddock then?? 😟
francisca.cgomes let him out the crate for a little bit
⤷ yn yeah he’s been behaving recently
⤷ landonorris 😈😈
oscarpiastri I think you need to take him on more walks he has to much energy
⤷ landonorris i know a way to get rid of energy easily
⤷ yn and back in the crate you go!
🝮
yn
liked by madisonbeer and 2,724,005 others
yn sushi dates with my love 🎀
alexandrasaintmleux My favorite date 🥰
⤷ charles_leclerc Uhm, alright then
landonorris but that’s our thing?? ☹️
⤷ yn you don’t even eat sushi?
⤷ landonorris i still take you out to eat it even though the sight of it makes me gag??
⤷ yn and then you make me brush my teeth before i can kiss you?
⤷ landonorris just say you hate me
⤷ yn i hate you
⤷ landonorris please take me back baby
francisca.cgomes i miss my girls 😣😣
⤷ yn we miss you more!!
alex_albon did lando stay at charles’ 😂
⤷ charles_leclerc Yes and he would not shut up about how he misses y/n
georgerussell63 Me next
⤷ landonorris no go away i’m next
⤷ lilymhe actually i am 🤣
🝮
landonorris
liked by maxverstappen1 and 1,113,562 others
landonorris hopelessy devoted to you ❤️
yn my one love 🤍
⤷ charles_leclerc Hold on…is y/n norris being sweet?? Did someone screenshot this?
⤷ yn did i get married and just don’t remember?
⤷ landonorris yes.
yn can we get a puppy
⤷ landonorris whatever you want baby
⤷ yn 🤍
francisca.cgomes ok, cute
carlossainz55 I remember when you were hopelessly devoted to me.
⤷ landolovesyn LMFAO NOT CARLOS BEING SALTY 😭😭
pierregasly down BAD
lilymhe hm. well, i guess this is cute
alexandrasaintmleux I approve of this post
oscarpiastri WE KNOW
chilipowder55 poor oscar 😭 he’s so done with both of them
flowers444yn all the wags don’t wanna share y/n with her bf 💀
🝮
f1updates
liked by landonorris and 28,001 others
f1updates lando & y/n out in monaco tonight
lordperceval lando’s always in the likes whenever a sighting of them is posted 😭
⤷ georgerussell63 he’s so unserious
⤷ alex_albon GEORGE?!
⤷ charles_leclerc ALEXANDER?!
⤷ maxverstappen1 CHARLES?!
⤷ carlossainz55 MAX?!
⤷ pierregasly CARLOS?!
⤷ oscarpiastri PIERRE?!
⤷ carmenmmundt OSCAR?!
⤷ lilymhe CARMEN?!
⤷ alexandrasaintmleux LILY?!
⤷ francisca.cgomes ALEX?!
⤷ lewishamilton So we all stalk every update about lando and y/n?
⤷ georgerussell63 LEWIS?!?!
sharls_lerklerk why did lewis just expose all of them
🝮
lando.jpg
liked by danielricciardo and 492,705 others
lando.jpg she’s getting it tonight
yn OH OK!! how sweet 😰
⤷ landonorris always for you 😉
yn guys i’m scared
⤷ alexandrasaintmleux i’m omw
alexandrasaintmleux My girl 💘💗💕💓
francisca.cgomes the prettiest girl ever
alexandrasaintmleux so that’s where my dress went
⤷ yn what dress? 😟
maxverstappen1 Hair is on point
charles_leclerc Alright I fw the fit
georgerussell63 Period my queen never lets us down 💅🏽
oscarpiastri Ate down or whatever 💋
danielricciardo Drop the hair care routine girl
lilymhe beautiful beautiful girl
carlossainz55 Slay all day 😻😻
landowonone what is going on 😭
🝮
yn
liked by georgerussell63 and 3,390,781 others
yn alexandra got a puppy, so i made lando get me a puppy too
alexandrasaintmleux Play dates everyday
landonorris 🤍🤍🤍
charles_leclerc Leo and lil Pete are gonna be the best friends
carlossainz55 So you get him Saturday and Sunday and I get him the rest of the week? 😁
⤷ yn um no ❤️
carmenmmundt How cute 🥹
alex_albon I think he would look cuter with me…in my house…in my arms
⤷ yn i don’t think so
maxfewtrell The chokehold you have on him isn’t okay 😔
⤷ yn neither was the one he had on me last night
⤷ maxfewtrell !?!? 😨
#lando norris#lando norris smau#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris fluff#lando norris smut#f1 smau#f1 imagine
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Last Name Dilemma
Yknow, this is purely for myself, happy me hating my last name. This is a yandere thing btw and please note that I am an artist, not a writer :,) so sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes
I had this amazing idea. If you don't really like your last name and get sucked into the world of twisted wonderland, why not just get a new one? It's very easy when you have suitors vying for your attention at every corner of the school! 🤭
It all started in the cafeteria...
Of course they were overjoyed you thought their last names were cool, did this mean you indirectly wanted to marry them? Well the game is on, and they for sure will win.
Much to their displeasure though, rumors speads fast at NRC, with everyone else quickly getting to know about your lastname dilemma. They are not backing down, wanting to burn the world down just to achieve their happy ending with you.
Ace
Of course you would want to marry him! He is your first friend in this wretched school after all! (Deuce would like to differ on that statement but yeah)
Ace may not be the richest, smartest or most beautiful, but he is your best friend, (hopefully) your first choise and (will make sure to be) your first love! Guy is serious. He will also pull all sorts of dirty tricks against everyone else, you're his bestie to marry no one else's!
Deuce
Ah poor little Deuce. Guy choked on his food when he first heard you talk about how cool their last names sounded. You think his last name is cool? Does that mean that you like him too? You wanna date him, marry him? Be his forever?? He is feeding into his own delusions and your words are only making it worse.
As soon as he has finished lunch he will excuse himself and make a call to his mom and tell her the wonderful news on how you and him will definitely get married! (He just gotta get you a sweet, sweet ring that you deserve)
Cater
Cater being quick on the trends, he was even quicker on the rumors about you having no last name (and definelty needing one). He has such a cute last name, it would fit so well with you! <3
He is already dreaming up the perfect magicam wedding, to show off how the oh so wonderful you chose him, and no one else. He also dreams of the private moments after, how you'll hold him as he sobs his heart out, so happy you chose him. He hopes these silly daydreams will soon become reality, cos he can't wait much longer..
He also definelty overloads you with his clones, giving you so much love you don't need to turn to anyone else for that :)
Trey
When Trey heard the rumors he sighed, feeling bad for how overwhelmed you probably are with everyone else's proposals. Well, come to him whenever you feel like it's too much, he will always make sure to lktsen to your problems (he loves the domestic feel to just having late night chats with you in the heartlbuyl kitchen as he prepares another batch of sweets for the next unbirthday party).
He will make sure that his own proposal of marriage is short and sweet, and he is sure it will win you over, who wouldn't want his sweets all day every day? He will make sure to feed and love you for the rest of eternity if you chose him <3
Riddle
Riddle is messy, he wants you as his spouse and he kinda wants it NOW, since he feels like he deserves it. You're the perfect match to him, the king of hearts to his queen od hearts...
He will show off how good of a husband he would be to you, how he will take care of you with a stable job, how he will help you with all homework and make sure you get special treatment on unbirthday parties. If he sees anyone trying to propose why they should be yours and not him, well, you know his unique magic...
Jack
Wolves mate for life. Jack wants to mate for life. Who does he want as his mate? You. You have changed his life, and he does not want to lose you, please. He is territorial, liking how your name would sound with his last name, now he just gotta make it happen..
Ruggie
Ruggie feels desperate when he hears the rumors. Why would you chose him, when you have literal celebrities, prince's and high standing people vying for you? Then he remembers, he owes you. It's usually the other way around yes, bur he owes you somehow.
With this he cooks up the amazing plan of giving you his last name as a thanks for that one time. He also gotta introduce you to his family, he knows granny bucchi is gonna peer pressure you into accepting marriage with him...
Leona
Leona will not lose you. He has lost so much coming second to everyone he knows. He will NOT lose you to anyone here, he will fight dirty and kill for you if there's a chance he gets with you. He has the money to hire help to get rid of people too, and that same money can sway you into chosing him, since that deadbeat crow ain't giving you a liveable sum to live on.
He makes sure to capture you for naps whenever he can, making sure to leave his scent on you, enough so most people can smell how he has been on you.
Floyd
Eeh? Shrimps wants a good last name?? Well with his you could scare oh so many away, leading to an easy life for you! It also leads to a fun life with you and him, and there will never be a dull moment in his life with you by his side!
Just don't take his last name with his brother yeah? Get with him instead.
Jade
Oya? The prefect wants a last name? A husband too perhaps? Jade's smile widens as he plans out how to trap you into a wonderful marriage with him. Perhaps some of his new mushrooms in his terrariums will make you tired enough to get you to sign a marriage contract with him?
Just don't marry his brother instead of him, he don't really know how he would handle that..
Azul
Azul feels himself become of sp happy whenhe heard the rumors. Finally! You will have him corner you as soon as he can, sweet smile on his face as he offers you a golden contract of his. He crafted it meticulously, making sure everything in it would be perfect for the both of you.
He tries to butter you up so badly, please he just wants you to himself, is that too much to ask for?
Jamil
Jamil has to hold back to use snake whisper, but he has it in case you chose the wrong option (not him). He wants you, he does that to lose you to anyone, ESPECIALLY KALIM. He probably uses snake whisper against others, to sabotage, to do anything. He just can't lose you...
He definelty shows off his cooking and cleaning skills, showing how he can be the perfect househusband for you. Look how good you could have it with him...
Kalim
Kalim is manipulative about this. He mat not be aware of it, bur he sure is. He wants you as his (spouce) bestie, and he will get that. Guy has never gotten a no, and he will not get one now (he hope atleast).
Let him plan you a grandiose wedding! With food, clothes, venue, parades and so much more worth millions and millions of thaumarks. He will space no expense for you!
Epel
Why is epel so roughened up? Why he fought for your hand of course! Isn't it manly to show off that you can easily fend gör your love? He also loves loves LOVES the attention you give him as you fix him up.
He feels so proud of the fights he won, wearing the scars like proud medals, so please take care of them before they get infected- he will only let you do it-
Maybe he will get into more fights if he can get your heavenly touch as a reward..
Rook
Rook stalks you on the daily, so of course he got to work as soon as the words left your mouth. He will hunt you down, get your heart and love and live happily every after :)
He 100% gets violent as well, bur of course you won't see that side of him! He wouldn't want to scare you..
Vil
Vil is certain you will chose him. He is the fairest of them all (niege don't count he is ugly), that is what you deserve. He will take care of you, especially your appearance. You've sent how he is with epel, now get ready for double that...
He dolls you up, makes you the best version of yourself so he can show you off on his socials,to mush it into that dumb nieges face that THE vil had you and niege doesn't. He is the fairest of them all with you of course..
Of course, he is the only queen worthy enought for your love and affection, so please just marry him already, he wants a Photoshoot together with you...
Idia (plus Ortho being STRICTLY PLATONIC)
I'm sorry but have you read his ssr story? Guy doxxes over nothing lol. He will breach your security if you tell him no, he has lost so much already, can't he have you please? You're the only thing he wants...
He will 100% use Ortho against you, backing you into a corner together with the robot. Ortho wants to make his brother happy, and he would be the happiest together with you. Ortho would also be so so so happy if you were his bif sibling too!
Theyve lost so much, they just want a happy family, together with you.. (ORTHO ONLY WANTS YOU AS A SIBLING NO WEIRD SHI AGAINST ORTHO PLEASE)
Sebek
Sebek has to run to lilia for guidance. Why has this human out this wonderful spell on him, why does he feel so lightweight? Why is his face so red? Why does he want to reject you for the rest od your days, more than he wants to protect malleus?
He wants to marry you. To have a wonderful marriage between human hand half fae, almost liek his parents... he will protect you at all costs. Please do love his loudmouth ass back..
Silver
Silver has no last name as well, so in his mind you both are already matching. He is too sleepy to actually do anything other than fall asleep with you.
Lilia
Lilia would snicker at the rumors. Ah, how he feels young again, silly what love can do to someone... he would love to help his son's with this, but sadly he wants this just as much if not more...
Malleus
Malleus does not want to lose his friend. His first and only real friend. He has tried to court you for so long, and now that you've dropped a hint that you wanted him (by saying you wanted a cool last name) he starts the royal courting traditions.
He follows all the traditions, step by step, being very careful to be correct and sparing no expense. He makes sure you see the future home of yours (the castle), his humongous hoard and his greatest treasure, gao gao dragon..
.. holy hell this was so much longer than what I expected. Well, who would you go for? Do tell :,)
Also, would yall want more long form content like this or way more short form? My asks got deleted so don't really have any to draw smhhh </3 so do send shi in please <3
#yandere ace trappola#yandere deuce spade#yandere cater diamond#yandere trey clover#yandere riddle rosehearts#yandere leona kingscholar#yandere ruggie bucchi#yandere jack howl#yandere azul ashengrotto#yandere jade leech#yandere floyd leech#yandere kalim al asim#yandere jamil viper#yandere vil schoenheit#yandere rook hunt#yandere epel felmier#yandere idia shroud#yandere malleus draconia#yandere lilia vanrouge#yandere silver#yandere sebek zigvolt#yandere twst#yandere twst art#yandere twisted wonderland#yandere twisted wonderland art#yandere art#my hands hurt
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