#i hate atilla so much

[iincogneeto]

a request (feat. Karmor in the corner)

( @love-stvrs as shenhe )

[girl4music]

An ode to an incredible character in ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’. Callisto is the greatest “villain” I’ve ever seen on any TV show. I only put quotation marks around the word ‘villain’ because she really wasn’t a villain at all to me. I have a hard time calling her one because she was just depressed and psychotic. She was a misunderstood soul that needed to be saved.

I’m happy she got the ending she deserved in that Xena had to be the one to save her soul as she was who killed it in the first place. I never quite forgave her for that even though it was just backstory when I learned of it. This should have been the reason why she had to die and stay dead in ‘AFIN’ in my opinion instead of that unintentional fucking fire. It was a fire that burned Callisto’s hometown and killed her family too. But it wasn’t an “oopsies, I had no idea I did this because I was grieving and drunk”. It’s was more “I had no awareness or control over what my own army was doing and didn’t care enough to find out”, and therefore much more justified because it wasn’t an accident or a mistake. It was blatant ignorance and wilful negligence of her own actions and choices. If they really wanted Xena’s endgame to be over the implications of a fucking fire - this was how to do it!

I’m fairly certain if the show was flipped on its head and Callisto was the lead protagonist in the show instead, you’d absolutely see that Xena was the villain. So if you have any hard feelings towards Callisto in any way, shape or form, this video will change your mind because it shows Callisto’s side of the story - which is a side you don’t see often enough to realize how complicated of a character she actually is. She’s a woman who never got to be a child. Child of Cirra.

Follow her story of vengeance and hatred through this video and come to see Callisto in a whole new light.

Thank you, Hudson Leick, for giving us all such a phenomenal acting performance every time you were on screen that gave Callisto the necessary depth she needed so that she could be far more than just a villain in an overall story about evil villains turned antiheroes because Xena was never justified for her own villainy and your character took her to task for that and all of that only hit because YOU. WERE. SO. GOOD. It only worked as a narrative because you made it work. Any lesser performer would not have been able to do it.

Sure Callisto had to take the weight of her own crimes but she made sure Xena never was free of that weight at the same time and that’s why I fucking LOVE her!

“I love that girl who plays Callisto in the show. And then, the action in it is a lot of fun. The scripts are really good. There's some really cool storytelling going on. The whole lineage of the story -- the backstory of Xena's character -- is quite magnificent. And I would use the word "magnificent." There's a lot there to be had. The fact that she was an Atilla the Hun kind of killer and pillager. Years passed, Xena turns over this new leaf, but she is haunted, like Clint Eastwood in The Unforgiven -- she was haunted by her evil deeds. And I mean, they were evil, they were truly evil. She wasn't, like, kind of bad. She was an evil, murderous person. Untold numbers of dead during her reign, torture, whole races and tribes that don't exist anymore because of Xena. Now she's fighting for redemption, but she knows she doesn't deserve redemption and she will never get redemption. The only thing she can do is just do good now, on a day to day basis. But she doesn't deserve mercy. She's paying a debt she can never pay and she'll always be paying 10 cents on the dollar. That's rare for a male character. That's just good shit, that's just good indeed. And then Callisto comes back, who is a mirror image of Xena, doing the same murdering and killing with evil intentions -- but she exists only because Xena did it. It's her revenge for Xena, the fact that she created her in her hate. Callisto has every right to kill Xena, and Xena has every right in her own heart to die under Callisto's blade. But Callisto doesn't have the right to kill the innocent people she's killing. Therein lies -- I mean, that's a great conflict.” - Quentin Tarantino, Double Dare.

[cherrytastiq]

Favorite Time squad relationship?

As much as I Love Tuddlarry for all its quirks and points of analysis (and how it made me go insane for at Least a few months), I want to talk a little about a parent-son relationship in the series which I consider to be one of my big faves :-] it's Otto and Larry!

We all know how Larry warms up to Otto throughout the show, starting from dismissing his questions and generally being annoyed at his presence, to caring for the little guy when he's sick or in danger.

There's just a lot of moments i find so weirdly sweet between them no matter how tiny they are.... like in Ivan the Untrainable, where it's mentioned Larry had to 'fail Otto in nuclear physics' AKA Larry home-schools Otto and teaches him subjects fit for his intelligence! He knows he's a smart kid.... <:-D

Otto is also known to mirror Larry's movements and likes to spend time learning his hobbies and interests. He's eager to learn and socialize!

They just... seem to have fun when they're together sans Tuddrussel.

THAT BEING SAID! I think people tend to emphasize Larry's more effeminate traits and think of him as a motherly figure to Otto who Could Do No Wrong To Her Beautiful Summer Child, and while it is technically official that Larry's the wife of the family, they forget that Larry is, well, still Larry. He's selfish at times, he's critical, he's passive-aggressive; and this is shown in quite a few episodes! For Example, off the top of my head... Leaving Otto behind in Hate and Let Hate, finding his info-dump annoying in A Thrilla at Atilla's and completely ignoring him in Father Figure of Our Country.

..but this post isn't about that. it's about the positive aspects of their dynamic! sorry, i tend to run my mouth when it comes to time squad ^_^

[reuben-7991]

up until i was like ten or so i confused atilla the hun and mother teresa and then we watched natm:3 in school and everything suddenly made sense why people hated this guy so much

[lords-of-mayhem]

hey all im saying is that if you write a thesis about how loc made you unwell i would read the hell out of it

like ik how it personally is making me worse, i need to know what its doing to others desperately

Okay, so. I'm gonna just throw all my thoughts that I currently have here. No promises on how coherent I'll be.

A lot of it is just based off of how violence is portrayed in the movie.

The parallels and foreshadowing in this movie fucks me up so much.

The scene of Euronymous simply saying "Scorpions?" to Varg and walking away from him paralleled by him telling Varg later, "I attracted people by saying you can't have this, you're not worthy."

Euronymous saying "nothing could stop me" cut immediately by Varg staring in the mirror???

The way Euronymous gives a speech that Varg overhears in the restaurant that Varg later parallels in the bar, trying to get the same adoration and it just doesn't happen?? Ough

Euronymous: We're not just a fucking metal band. I'm sick of all those speed and death metal bands, all that Swedish shit. All they do is celebrate life and party, they should just call it life metal. We play black metal, true Norwegian black metal. Varg: Exactly, posers claiming to be Satanists when all they wanna do is drink beer and have a good time. I hate that, all those death metal kids with their stupid Morbid Angel t-shirts. Making a trend out of something that was meant to instill fear.

Also I know I've said this before, but SOMEBODY in production has a blood kink. I refuse to believe otherwise.

There are at least 15 separate shots of men with blood splattered across their faces in this movie. I didn't even carefully examine every scene, I just kind of skimmed through the parts I knew of right off. (The show scene, Faust's murder, etc.)

And the way blood/violence is presented is so horny for no reason?? Like Occultus having his mouth wide open while Pelle's blood is actively pouring onto his face? This????

Who asked for this? ^^^^

Another thing is the parallels between Pelle and Ann-Marit. I KNOW I've gone on and on, but it fucks me up. There was no reason she needed to look so similar, down to their outfits being similar.

The multiple shots of Varg ass naked and fucking?? (This caught me so by surprise the first time I saw this movie, like why did they need to do that lol)

Euronymous pinning Manheim down while he encourages Necro to cut him? Lives in my head rent free.

The pure sexual tension in the Varg/Euro church burning scene. Like they had a cute little date and then the most homoerotic stare-downs ever. The way they smile at each other and the little hug :(

Then this gay shit

On the note of gay shit, there's not a single reason why Faust needed to touch Occultus as much as he did, yet here we are.

On the topic of Faust, there was also not a single reason why he needed to double take watching Euronymous piss. (keep your eyes to yourself girlie <3)

Emory Cohen also being so phenomenal at expressions really fucked me up in this movie, particularly him breaking up with Euro and him killing him later. He's so talented and it makes me so insane

Emory Cohen in general is just such a fantastic pick for this role, he's hands down my favorite casting. He's similar enough (especially irl Varg's arrogance that he captures) while also making the character his own is such a good mix. Plus, knowing that having a Jewish actor playing him pissed irl Varg off is a bonus.

Side note, but Pelle's dad leaving that voicemail while he was killing himself? It gets to me, man. It gets to me. (And while we're on the topic of parents, Faust's mom yelling in the background while he's getting arrested? Oh lord)

The Varg/Euro tension while they played with Atilla??? Hello???

Blackthorn decorating Varg's room for when the interviewers come by is also something I think about a lot. It doesn't fuck me up in the same way the others do, but I love that little scene. And him offering tea at possibly the worst time

They were sharing the same brain cell in this scene fr

The ending will always fuck me up the most. The shots of them all having fun intercut with Varg/Blackthorn/Faust getting arrested, Euronymous' memorial, etc. If you want to be really emotionally unwell, I highly suggest listening to this while watching it.

Everyone's reactions were sooooo good too

If you want something depressing to think about too, you can think about the fact Necrobutcher was probably just finally moving on from Pelle's death, only for Euronymous to die as well.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

A man like Verdi must write like Verdi.

- Giuseppe Verdi

Verdi was the first to admit his music wasn't the most technically challenging in purely academic terms: "Of all composers, past and present, I am the least learned," he said. But did that stop him writing some of the most beloved, heart-wrenching tunes, with melodies that have inspired over the centuries. Indeed it’s hard to think of anyone apart from Wagner or Mozart who could occupy the pedestal that Verdi found himself upon as one of the best composers ever. I love listening to Verdi but none more so whenever I find myself traveling in Italy. And why not? Verdi’s music and his legacy is woven into the tapesetry of the country’s history of reunification.

Born on Oct. 9, 1813, the composer’s output far outpaced many opera creators before and after. But what is most fascinating is that his works endure to this day. While some of his greatest works have always held a spot in the operatic canon, spots that have never been threatened, lesser known operas from decades ago, such as “I Due Foscari,” “Giovanna d’Arco,” or “Atilla,” have suddenly found themselves unshakably fixed in the modern canon. Even composers of the past that are getting revivals of sorts can’t quite claim the same status.

So what makes Verdi’s opera so enduring and ever-fascinating? Throughout history, many of his works have often been criticized for their melodramatic plotting, much of which lacks narrative consistency. Exhibit A: “Il Trovatore.”

And yet, here we are. Verdi remains king of the opera world. Here are some reasons why.

While there is no doubt that some of Verdi’s characters are among the greatest created for the opera stage (see Otello, Falstaff, Filippo, Nabucco, Simon Boccanegra, the Macbeths, Rigoletto, Gustavo, etc.) there is also no doubt that there are many stock characters layered throughout his works, particularly in the early ones. And yet, can one ever claim that Verdi overlooks a single one of them. They say that there are no small characters and Verdi certainly follows this idea.

Moreover, his villains are never truly one-sided. The great antagonists of such operas as “Atilla,” “Don Carlo,” and “I Vespri Siciliani,” are more than just men on vengeful rampages and the likes. Instead, Verdi always reveals more than one might imagine and actually makes us not only empathize with these characters but actually sympathize. Even the hateful Duke of Mantua is loveable to the audience because of how Verdi infuses him with an infectious melody.

In keeping with the theme of strong characters all around, there is no doubt that much of the appeal for Verdi’s operas is his strong women. Obviously, he has his share of damsels in distress, but none of the Verdi operas feature passive women sitting around for men to save their lives. Due to the context of his plots, the women in his operas are often forced into situations where they don’t have complete control, and yet we see them constantly shifting the balance of power in their favor. Violetta is probably the greatest of Verdi’s heroines, but one cannot overlook such women as Luisa Miller, Odabella, Abigaile, Lady Macbeth, Aida, Amelia (in “Un Ballo in Maschera”), and Azucena and how wonderfully complex they are. It is no surprise that the greatest mezzos and sopranos in history have, at some point, taken on and championed Verdi’s operas.

Verdi’s melodramas remain so poignant because they tend to be so relevant. Unlike many other composers of the time and since Verdi’s own life as a political figure is showcased tremendously throughout his operas. His ability to see how a figure struggles to balance his personal and public lives remains an issue for people of all professions. And the great tyrants and even benevolent leader of his works, are often shown with their failings. Just look at the guilt-ridden Macbeth or King Filippo, both lonely men who in their aims to maintain power have lost their connection to other people. Or Simon Boccanegra, a man thrust into a position of power he never wanted and forced to take on the consequence of that choice. We see people battle for liberation on one end and see oppressive regimes try and enforce their ways of life. We see an examination of the horrors of religious institutions and yet we ultimately see a reconsideration of man’s relationship to a higher deity. Man and his position within society is almost always at the core of Verdi’s works.

Parental themes are more prevalent in Verdi’s operas than they are in any other composer before or since. In many ways, these relationships are among the most poignant in all of the composer’s oeuvre. The reunion between Simon Boccanegra and his daughter Amelia is among the most beautiful moments ever scored. Ditto for Rigoletto and Gilda’s series of duets that develop their relationship throughout the opera. The ambiguity between Manrico and Azucena is a rich portrayal of love and hate in a mother-son dynamic. And there is also a truly tragic dimension to the relationship between Don Carlo and his father Filippo, who actually prefers his friend Posa to his own son. Everywhere you look, these relationships and the themes they highlight are revealing and ever-fascinating.

Of course, probably the single greatest reason why Verdi’s art endures to this day – his music. He composed some of the greatest music ever written. Any Verdi opera, even his lesser works, is one stream of endless melody after another. Even his recitatives are hummable. This makes for dynamic emotional experiences with the composer constantly finding new ways to keep the audience engaged. “Il Trovatore,” which I mentioned in the intro, endures because of the three above reasons, but mainly because it is arguably the greatest example of the composer’s melodic wealth and imagination.

His final opera, “Falstaff,” doesn’t have as many “memorable” melodies as some of his earlier works, and yet the opera has just as much or more abundance of melody than any of his other operas. It’s just that Verdi has developed tremendous skill at this point that he has fused his gift with witty dramatic ability. Falstaff never wastes a note, which holds true for many of his other greater works.

One thing that makes Verdi’s music so wonderful is how he constantly plays with the limits of structure. More than any other composer, a look at his career progression showcases a man constantly looking to better himself. And by the time we get to “Otello” and “Falstaff” and compare them to “Oberto” and “Un Giorno di Regno,” there is no doubt that he has achieved that emphatically. The latter two operas test and surpass the limits of what Italian Opera signified, taking time-honored clichés showcased in those first two works and transforming them into dramatic gestures. Is there a drinking song that so wonderfully depicts increased inebriation the way “Otello’s” does? Or is there a more hilarious use of the A-B-A aria structure than the 30-second “Cuando era paggio” from “Falstaff?”

Verdi’s opera endures because it remains a discovery for those working in the art form today. And it will continue to do so as long as the art form is alive and well.

[isozyme]

Do you have any fic recs for The Untamed? :)

boy howdy, i sure mcfuckin do! here you go! this list is organized by my own internal heuristic, aka: not. we have a little bit of everything here; long, short, gen, smut, finished, wips, soft, angsty, cql canon, mdsz canon, crackfic, canon ships, you name it, it’s in this list and not labeled very well!

a lot of edges called perhaps - hansbekhart, LWJ/WWX if you read zero other things, please read hansbekhart. if you haven’t read hansbekhart, go read hansbekhart immediately. theirs was the first fic i read in the fandom, and i will continue to stuff their words into my eyeballs as long as they keep producing them!!! this one is tagged “risk aware consensual patience” and it is 20k of emotional edging that is simultaneously soft and funny and very good. also read their fashion designer!lwj/model!wwx au. do it. it’s a wip and it doesn’t matter read it anyway (it updates weekly).

out of the bin and into your heart - alaceron, LWJ/WWX modern au! fake dating! everyone hangs out at the chinese cultural center! except wwx is banned from all events because of that time he punched jzx during an orchestra concert!

the yunmeng accords - cafecliche, JWY & WWX it’s a series, just read all of it! the good brother reconciliation content that we NEED AND DESERVE

this river runs to you - sundiscus, LWJ/WWX a modern cultivation au; labeled “the dragon one” in our groupchat; feels like reading a studio ghibli movie

four days in lanling - halotolerant, JWY/NHS converted me wholeheartedly to this ship, dang, what a good fic!!! really deft characterization and unreliable narration

with absolute splendor - lise, LWJ/WWX, JWY & WWX jiang cheng is going to MAKE SURE that wwx has a PROPER WEDDING, how dare he think about having a small ceremony in gusu, no jc does not care about things like “complicated history” and “you hate my fiance” suck it up you’re getting married the right way so help me god!

until only the mountain remains - idleorbitals, LWJ/WWX (wip) a big what if about sizhui growing up in the burial mounds with the wens. it got me by the heart!!!

before you stumble - ribena, JWY & WWX jin ling thinks that maybe his uncle should like, be better at this brothers thing. probably everything can be solved by fighting a monster!

i hope that you will come and meet me - feyburner, LWJ/WWX it’s just really SOFT and GOOD and LOVING!!!! lives in my head as “the one where there’s a lotus pond and a really good hug”

hunters seeking solid ground - atilla, LWJ/WWX wwx has nightmares and can’t sleep, hurt/comfort ensues in spades. it’s excellent, the cuddling is out of this world

human places - ilgaksu, JGY/NMJ/LXC (wip) crimson peak au!!!!! crimson peak au!!!!!!!!! brilliant, inspired, i’m never going to recover from reading this. if you’re anti-wip, try their series where lxc is a lord of the fae and jgy is a half-mortal with Big Plans

gentle exile - rynleaf, LXC/SZC lxc and song lan have issues to work out! lots of them in fact! what if they did it...together...and wrote each other letters....wow....

an elegant solution - giraffeter, NMJ/LWJ/WWX (wip) arranged marriage! nmj getting the hots for how much lwj and wwx want to fuck! just go with it, okay? if you don’t do wips, try giraffeter’s finished detective!lwj/kidnapped!wwx modern au, which is also worth a read

grief negotiations - nomette, JGY/LXC post-canon seclusion time: lxc is sad and what is this mysterious music left behind by jgy hm hm sure would be a shame if he were to play it to see what it does... there’s a sequel in the works and it’s so so so good

year of night call - ailuridae, LWJ/WWX the one where they’re all trauma surgeons and there’s only one bed in the on-call room! the juniors have a group text!

attempting the impossible - ariaste, LWJ/WWX, JWY & WWX post canon: wwx and lwj have...seven kids. somehow! jiang cheng learns this, is furious, and goes on a campaign to be the best uncle OR ELSE

half cloak & half dagger - fahye, JGY/LXC canon-divergent au where things are significantly less tragic, and jgy’s main problem is how is he going to get lxc to stop being such a kind, considerate lover and COMPREHENSIVELY RAIL HIM???? technically a sequel, stands alone just fine

a compromising position - verity, JWY/LJY WE ALL KNOW IT, OKAY, WE ALL KNOW THE JIANG CHENG/JINGYI FIC, i’m sorry, i had to put it. i’ll go now.

the one with the emotional support biceps - mongrelmind, JWY/LJY PSYCHE, i’m not gone yet, if you’ve read the verity fic, why don’t you read the version where jiang cheng is a sexy firefighter and jingyi has lit his dorm’s kitchen on fire five times this month?

go forth, enjoy!

[furvillaconfessions]

Rotsy here. There seems to be a lot of hurt feelings going around about this, so I'm going to try to tread carefully, but I'm not going to sugar coat anything either. If you make it all the way to the end of this very long post I have some cool stories to tell you.

I'm not going to pick apart what @/post/634692733521559552/ said just yet, but I would like to address some of the replies, because they felt like a kick in the guts after reading the post of a clearly upset person.

I don’t see it as “gate keeping.” also this spirit is known around in many other cultures not just one. better to respect the ones who asked us to cenceor it over not cencoring it at all. now I got no proof but I see so many people say that they where asked to cencor it there for what I’m doing.

If you don't see it as gatekeeping when a native person asks (begs even) someone to stop talking for them, then you're part of the problem. How do you know they aren't part of the cultures these stories are coming from? We don't. All I ask is that you try to understand where this person is coming from before just outright rejecting what they are saying.

You cant say “literally no indigenous person” like youre getting mad at people speaking for all of us and then you speak for all of us lol. If youre truly to the point of wanting to VOMIT from seeing a censored word, i think you need to take a break from this blog and probably the internet. Nobody is treating us like primitive babies. Theyre respecting our culture when we ask them to.

Atilla, you know I love you, but you should respect the culture of op too, and have a talk with them instead of assuming their disgust is simply because of text on a screen. By saying they need to get off of the internet you're not affording them with the space to share their hurt feelings- which could be the only place they have to share those feelings for all we know. It was wrong to say 'literally no one,' but I believe that came from a place of pain and not malice. This person is clearly hurt and feeling like people aren't listening to their feelings on the subject- which is what many of us feel all the time. (Assuming you are also native because you said 'us' and 'our.' Correct me if I'm wrong.) There's a bigger problem here that's been brewing for a while, and I'd like to band with you to work on this instead of fighting with you, so if you want to pm me, please do.

Now some context:

A massive reason why (was it the only reason? I can't say) the word wendigo/windigo/wintiko/whetiko started getting censored is because individuals on twitter were making posts about how the wendigo is greatly misunderstood and misrepresented (even appropriated) in white dominated culture. These individuals were tired of being harassed by people who refused to give their culture respect (or blatantly insulting them) so they started censoring the word in order to prevent their posts from appearing in the search. The same thing happened on tumblr. A lot of native people are bullied and harassed into silence when we try to speak up about things so we use code words and censoring to stay safe on the internet. This is the reason why we started censoring conversations around the entity- and also the big reason why I abandoned my original tumblr.

The wendigo is complicated. It is not a demon or a boogyman, and it's not part of a religion. Our stories (the choctaw word literally translates to stories, so I don't mean to be disrespectful) are not a religion in the same sense a christian or a muslim has a religion. Religion in the way people are talking about it doesn't exist in native american culture unless, like previously said on this blog, they are christian. It's more complicated than that. Hinduism might be a closer relative in terms of cultural and religious structure, but I'm not hindi so I can't really say for sure. On top of that, various groups have their own interpretation of the entity. Stories of the wendigo are like your grandmother's christmas dressing recipe. Everyone's family has one and they all guard it zealously. Even within the same nations, it can be regarded as a spirit that possesses people who become greedy, or simply an allegory for sexual and/or physical assault from white people. It's not a monster in the same way white european culture has come to understand the monster analogy. This misunderstanding itself is appropriation in the most basic definition of cultural appropriation. This is before we even get into the discussion of how it should be depicted. It's not simply a monster or evil spirit or physiological disorder. The wendigo is so much more than that.

I don't pretend to understand any of the algonquin languages, so the translation is both literally and figuratively lost on me, but this is the best way I can explain it from a dear canadian friend: The creature is greed. Be that just greed or lust or hunger or colonialism, it doesn't really matter. It doesn't even have to be a creature for someone to be consumed by it. Even just what it represents is dangerous and goes against the very nature of our virtues all across the nations.

I posted a very long post here once before, but I can't find it in the search so I don't know if it even exists any more. Basically what I had said in that post is that this whole situation, on all sides, is causing more damage than good. The longer we keep winding in long circles around this topic, and the more people try to sink their teeth in to control the narrative, the more power the wendigo has over us all- literally or metaphorically is up to you. Don't yell at people when they are upset, don't harass people who use the word as a screen name, don't try to speak for everyone, and most importantly, don't disregard an native person's feelings on the subject, even if you disagree with them. We all have to vent, and some people are getting to their breaking point.

If you find someone misrepresenting or appropriating any part of your culture, the best thing to do is to talk to them about it. I know they don't exactly afford us with the same respect, but clearly yelling at people and harassing them is just making them dig in their heels.

If you made it this far, thanks for listening. Here's the cool stories I promised:

As a choctaw person, I have a proposition for people who genuinely like the deer-man monster concept. There's a creature in choctaw stories called kashehotapolo. It's a contraction (sort of) between kashesho (pronounced kah-she-sho) meaning woman, and tapalo (pronounced tah-pah-lo) meaning scream. Together it's pronounced like kah-she-ho-ta-pah-lo. These are deer-human hybrid creatures who live in forests and swamps and scream (like a woman) when hunting (I picture it as sounding like a cougar scream). They have been described having deer legs, the body of a man, and either a wrinkled human face or a deer face, sometimes with antlers. Kasheotapolo are more like tricksters who like to stalk people just for the fun of it, and go out of their way to be creepy. Sometimes they are straight up violent and want to eat people, but most of the time they just like to creep people out. Another one is the deer-legged lady. In choctaw culture it's called the issikashesho (is-see-kah-she-sho) or just deer-legged lady/woman. The cherokee call them anukite (ah-noo-ki-tee; which I think means something like two-faced). These are shapeshifters who turn into beautiful women, old women, deer, deer-legged women, and anthro deer women. They hate rapists and cheaters, and will stomp rapists to death with their deer hooves. There's even a story that adults used to tell their boys at powwow's, that if they saw a drunk girl, don't take her off in the woods to take advantage of her because she could be a deer-legged lady and might stomp you to death. In more recent stories, there are deer-legged people, because women and non-binary people can rape and be raped too. Badass, huh? My proposition is to research these two creatures and start using them for your characters, stories, and usernames instead. They aren't as sacred to us as the wendigo is to the algonquin people, and they are exactly what people misrepresent the wendigo as looking like. I just think it's time to put this beast to rest.

I love you all. Be excellent to each other.

[sloppysecondsoogawooga]

Lords of Balls

It was a long unfulfilling day recording again and Euronymous had finally caved for the night. He decided to head back to his store Hellvette so grab some drinks and have some peace and quiet. The store was his one comfort and the place he felt he could really be himself, especially in the stores basement. There it was a paradise for all who were in the Black Metal scene. They all enjoyed spending long sweaty nights talking about music and how they wanted to burn down churches.

This particular night, however Euronymous felt as if something was amiss. He noticed the lights for the store were on despite having closed it down before leaving to record. "How strange" he mumbled to himself seeing if the door was unlocked. It opened without any force; which made Euronymous even more concerned. "Whoever is in here, just leave and I won't press charges!" He yelled with a little quiver in his voice. His throat felt tight as tried to reach for something to use as a weapon. Thankfully the walls of his shop were lined with fake medieval weaponry, so he plucked a long sword off the wall he could barely hold up.

Slowly and surely he was turning the corners he came across an old picture on the wall of him with his ex best friend Pelle. Pelle unfortunately died at his own hands years ago and it has been weighing heavy on Euro for a long time. Wishing he could have told him how he really felt about Pelle. Unfortunately, some words are better left unspoken. The noises started getting louder so Euro popped out of his deep thought and noticed it was all coming from the basement. He managed to muster out "you had better show yourself intruder!!!" choking on his words out of fear. His palms got sweatier making the sword harder to hold.

As he started to walk down the stairs to the basement he lost his grip on the sword "FUCK!!!" he yelped as he practically ran down to get the sword. As he made it to the bottom he came face to face with these "intruders". They were actually his friends from his band Mayhem.

"Varg? Hellhammer? Attila? What are you guys doing here!? You could have told me you were going to come back to the store without scaring me!" He said getting red from anger and embarrassment.

"Sorry Euronymous, we just didn't want to tell you about this..... it's something we thought you'd you'd ashamed of" Atilla said meekly, staring down at his shoes and blushing.

"What could you possibly be doing that I'd be upset abo-" before he could finish his sentence he noticed that his friends, his band mates, his longtime confidantes were standing pantsless and all erect.

"Listen Euro, this is something we do to keep eachothother company, you wouldn't understand" Varg said annoyed that they were all being interrupted of their special time. Hellhammer staying quiet as to not add to the frustration.

"You know I hate being left out of bonding time Varg!!" Euronymous said with tears in his eyes

"Well maybe if you stop being a little bitch and show us your cock we would invite you" Varg said laughing

There was a sudden pause in that basement. The usual feeling of friendship and joy that was shared down there was shattered. Euronymous felt like he had been betrayed. "I guess ill just leave...." he said slowly turning to go back up the stairs.

"Wait!" Hellhammer said getting up and running to Euronymous. "Maybe we can try it... just this once?" He leaned in to a shocked and flustered Euro who had never even considered viewing his friends in such a way. "We are ALL friends after all, maybe we can make this work" Attila added also approaching Euro; putting his hand on his shoulder and rubbing it a little. Varg seemingly agitated then approached Euro asking "are you sure you'll be able to handle this?" Slowly reaching his hand down Euro's jeans.

Euronymous slowly growing in size becoming obviously erect to his friends felt as if maybe this was his time to form a stronger bond with these men. He leaned into Varg with the scent of lust in his breath "why don't you just kiss me already you fool". Just then Varg grabbed Euro's face and then they begun the most sloppy and passionate kiss anyone had seen in that basement. Hellhammer began down on his knees starting to suck on Varg's large uncut meaty cock. It was the most beautiful cock he had ever sucked (and he has sucked MANY). Atilla started on on opposite side and began to dive face first into Varg's clean and freshly bleached asshole. Licking it up and down and taking it all in as if he was taking communion. Euro slowly shedding his leather jacket, bullet belt 1, bullet belt 2, studded belt, fingerless gloves, and leather vest while him and Varg were still exchanging sloppy tongue filed smooches. Varg was getting closer than expected since his two friends had him covered front and back.

"Enough!!" Varg said almost too angrily.

"Whats wrong boss?" Atilla said confused, dick still in his greedy jaws.

"I think its time we give Euro some undivided attention" he said smirk across his face.

Everyone got up and moved Euronymous to the couch where they sat him down much to his surprise. Slowly peeling off the last of his clothes. Varg taking care of Euro's pants specifically

"I want to be the one to taste his virgin dick" Varg announced to the others, firm and powerful. Underneath Euro's well worn Tangerine Dream shirt was his rippling sexy abs, sweating with anticipation for what was to come (authors note: everyone in this is jacked and has a 9 inch peepee)

Soon Euronymous and everyone were naked and greasy from all the sweat, Varg now grasping Euro's unfortunately cut penis slowly and surely stroking it with a firm loving grip. Atilla was next to Euronymous kissing him as Hellhammer began eating Atilla's ass. Unfortunately Atilla was less clean than Varg so Hellhammer had found some toilet paper crumbles in his hairy chamber of delight. Euronymous was overcome with bliss as his closest friends were all there enjoying the taste of eachothers manhood.

Euronymous getting closer and closer to the brink of orgasm as Varg bopped his head up and down his wet ass cock. Then in that moment he suddenly shot his load in an unsuspecting Varg's unprepared mouth. He spat Euro's creamy kids out onto the floor "Euronymous it appears because you were the first to cum. You will be the first to get fucked" Everyone in the room suddenly filled with both fear and excitement.

"V-Varg kun I have never had anyone take my anal virginity. I'm scared" Euronymus said blushing pulling his head away from everyone. Varg then moving his head back holding his face with tender affection "Don't worry Euro chan it'll only hurt for a moment, I'll be gentle I promise" he said as he pet Euro's definitely real pitch black hair.

Euronymous knew this was the right thing to do, and the most exciting thing he could have done, he then assumed the position, doggy style on the couch, filled with anticipation for his best friends throbbing hard dick in his tight little man hole. Varg then wetting up his fingers to stimulate Euro's hole, which opened without any issue. "I see someone is excited" he said with sarcastic bliss

Euro was embarrassed and blushed as cherry Blossom petals fell behind him for atmosphere. Then varg started thrusting his beautiful shimmering uncut member up and down Euro"s entire ass before putting it inside. There was a sudden "EEP!" from Euronymous, who wasn't prepared, but as soon as the head of Varg's dick was in he slowly moved it back and forth. Euro warming up to the sensation with pure joy began making small noises to show how much he enjoyed it. Hellhammer and Atilla were 69ing in the corner as this was going on, but kept watching to see when they could join in.

Varg and Euronymous were in ecstacy as Euro's thick juicy ass backed onto Vargs giant schlong. In that moment Hellhammer and Atilla decided it was time to form a "human centipede" if you will. Atilla first to insert his dick into Varg, then Hellhammer into Atilla. They had all perfected this technique and now everyone was fucking everyone. Then suddenly they began hearing someone walking down to the basement. They all paused their sweaty pile and then. A face they didn't expect showed up.

"P-Pelle!?" Euro shouted!!!!

It was Pelle! But, a Zombie. Pelle groaning and moaning because he was a zombie pulled down his mostly disintegrated pants to reveal his 10 inch oozing zombie cock. Everyone was in shock, but Euronymous ushered him to come over and put his pimply zombie dick in his mouth. Pelle staggered over, left arm falling off as he walked over in front of Euro. Who then put his rotting corpse member in his mouth which he did with delight.

Everyone was getting back into the groove. Grunting and moaning while they were inside eachother having the most erotic experience anyone could have. It went on for what felt like hours, But then everyone almost magically started to get closer at the same time.

"Ah I'm getting close" Varg said

"Same" Hellhammer and Atilla said

Euronymous couldn't say anything, but he basically said yes, and Pelle just groaned loudly insinuating Euronymous's glug glug 5000 was really good.

In that moment everyone suddenly burst into eachother. There was so much cum it was everywhere. They couldn't stop ejaculating it was an unending stream of what could have been children. It was the most intense orgasm any of them had ever had. Even Pelle burst into Euro with his maggot filled zombie jizz which Euro filled up on and swallowed in its entirety. Everyone collapsed to the floor ans couch exhausted, but happy.

"Well Euro, I guess you were fun to "stab" at after all" Varg said breathless. Euronymous blushing and happy "yeah we should do this another time after band practice" he said breathy

Hellhammer and Atilla were cuddling and not paying attention bc they were boyfriends.

Pelle was on the floor dead again and starting to stink up the room. Nobody cared.

After that they decided to bury Pelle again and burn down a church. They all lived happy fulfilling lives the end.

[disneymiraculousefandomsblog]

Hey Guys! so here is Chapter 5 of my Fic😊 I’m sorry it took me so long to finish this chapter but I really struggled with trying to finish it😐 I’ve been in a serious funk and I don’t know why? I am just not motivated as I was when I first started writing this. So I am going to take a break from writing for awhile, I think I’m just really burned out so this will be my last chapter for now:/ I do plan to finish it but I’m not sure when yet? I don’t want to rush writing it and then end up hating how I ended it so I think a break will do me good 😊 so let me know what you think of this chapter I’d love to hear you’re thoughts😊 Enjoy!

A Friendly Visit

“Hey! everyone, hehe sorry I’m late, lost track of time” Varian answered.

“Hey Varian! That’s ok” Selena said with a smile.

“So what are we doing today? What’s the plan?” Varian asked trying to take his mind off of last night.

“Well the building is done we just need the equipment to be able to start opening and we need workers too“ Selena said pondering how she was going to get everything.

Rapunzel remembered she had another surprise for Selena, “Selena I have something for you” Rapunzel said with a smile.

“Really! You didn’t have to.. you’ve already done so much for me” Selena answered with a smile.

Rapunzel smiled. She gave a hand signal, and a bunch of people came in carrying all the appliances she needed to run the bakery.

Selena was overwhelming with joy when she saw them bringing in the stuff she needed, they brought bowls, whisks sifters, measuring cups, pans, ect... Selena was overjoyed she wasn’t expecting the Princess to buy her everything her family needed to even start running the bakery.

“Thank you Rapunzel!. This means a lot to my family, but we weren’t expecting for you to buy everything.. you’ve already done so much for my family and me” Selena said with a smile.

“Ahh, don’t worry about it, we ordered this stuff yesterday so it was no trouble. Selena I love to help, that’s what friends are for right?” Rapunzel said with a smile.

“Thank you Princess” Selena said giving Rapunzel a tight hug”

Rapunzel Returns the hug. They finished putting all the stuff in the places Selena told them to.

“Wow this looks Amazing!!!, you guys are the best!” Selena said pulling everyone in a group hug.

They all smiled and went along with the group hug. Selena was the first one to pull away from the group hug.

“What do we do next?” Varian asked Selena.

“Well, I guess we have to start finding workers so they can start running the bakery, so do you know how we can get people?” Selena asked Varian.

Varian thought for a moment, “hmm.. how about we make flyers saying we are hiring and looking for people who are willing to work,what do you think?” Varian asked Selena.

“That sound more a great idea!” Selena answered with a smile.

“Great, Eugene and I will start working on those flyers, while you too just finish up” Rapunzel stated with a smile.

“Ok, thank you Rapunzel” Selena said with a smile.

Rapunzel and Eugene left to go make the flyers, Varian and Selena started unpacking the ingredients and stuff they bought from the market.

“So what’s your plan after we find people to work?” Varian asked Selena.

“Well we have to teach them how to make the pastries first, and show them how all the equipment works as well, so we can host like a baking class to teach them how to make the pastries, and it would be fun too” Selena answered with a smile.

“The ingredients we bought won’t be enough for all the students so we are going to need some more” Selena stated to Varian.

“That sounds like a plan, and for the ingredients I’m sure we can help you with those too” Varian answered.

“Great, and maybe I can teach you how to bake as well” Selena said with a smile.

“Technically I know how to bake because I made the best purple cookies,hehe” Varian said proudly

“You make purple cookies?” Selena asked him.

“Ehh.. it’s a long story, but the point is I know how to bake, i just don’t do it often hehe” Varian said sheepishly

“Well in sure you don’t know how to make Mexican sugar bread?, would you like to learn?” Selena asked with a smile.

“That true I don’t, hehe, sure I would like that” Varian answered with a smile.

Rapunzel and Eugene came back with the flyers, their hands were full of big stacks of papers.

“Wow that’s a lot of Flyers” Varian said.

“Well, you can’t have to many people can you?..it’s a bakery so you need lots of people to run it, Right Selena?” Rapunzel asked Selena.

“Right Princess, so let’s go ahead and post these around town and see who’s interested in working” Selena answered.

They divided the flyers between each other and went to different parts of Corona posting them on poles and walls. Once they were done, they went back to the bakery.

“Now we just wait for people to show up” Rapunzel said with a smile.

They waited for about an hour or so before people started to show up at the door of the bakery they had a couple of people waiting in line wanting to know if they would get the job.

“Wow that was fast” Selena said.

“Well, there is a lot of people that really like to work, but there are not enough jobs here in Corona for them” Varian stated.

“So by opening this bakery you are helping lots of people that need jobs” Varian said to Selena with a smile.

“Ohh..ok I’m glad I can help” Selena answered with a smile.

“Are there certain people you are looking for, with like certain skills?” Rapunzel asked.

“Well I just want to hire the people that I know will be dedicated to working, they are passionate, and Love what they are doing, and that have some experience with baking” Selena answered.

“Ok then, Let’s get started.

They took the people one by one to interview them, and asked them questions like..

why are you interested in working here?

What would you bring to this bakery if you worked here Do you have any experience with baking? Ect..

It took them all day to get to everyone, but they managed to pick the people they thought would be good for the job. They hired 20 people, 3 for being in the back baking, and 3 in the front serving and taking orders. The others were spares just in case one of the workers could not make it to work. Selena was content the bakery was turning out just like her family wanted, all that was left was to train them and show them how everything worked and how the pastries were made.

“Thank you so much for coming everyone! We will start your training tomorrow, get plenty of rest and we will see you here tomorrow morning” Selena said with a smile.

The workers left back to their homes, Rapunzel and Eugene were cleaning up and putting everything away, so that the bakery would be ready for tomorrow.

“Alright guys! I’m going to head back to the castle and gets some rest it’s going to be a big day tomorrow. Do you need anything before I leave?” Rapunzel asked Selena and Varian.

“No thank you princess, you have done so much already, thank you for everything!” Selena answered with a smile.

“Your welcome Selena, I’m glad I could help,and don’t stay out to late ok. You need your rest also” Rapunzel said with smile.

“I know I’ll be over there soon” Selena said.

Rapunzel and Eugene waved goodbye and shut the door behind them. Selena was hungry she hadn’t eaten anything all day, “Hey Varian I’m going to get something to eat I’m starving do you want to join me or do you have to go?” Selena asked him.

Varian pondered, maybe this was his chance to be able to tell Selena how he really felt about her. That he just wanted to stay being friends. “No I don’t have anywhere to be, I’m actually kinda hungry to so yes I would like to join you” Varian answered nervously.

“Great do you know any good places?” Selena asked Varian.

“Well I only know of one place and it’s not really a restaurant but everyone goes there if you want to try that?” Varian asked her.

“Sure I’m down for that” Selena answered with a smile.

Varian and Selena went walking through the woods till they arrived at the snuggly duckling. Selena looked at the place Varian took her it was a little shack that looked rundown and broken but there were people inside. Varian looked at Selena she looked a bit confused, “uhh, I know this isn’t exactly what you were looking for, we can leave if you want?” Varian asked sheepishly.

Selena did think it was questionable but she didn’t want to Varian to feel guilty so she just went with it. “No it’s ok we can try it, who knows maybe I’ll like it” Selena said with a chuckle.

Varian smiled, they made their way to the entrance and Varian opened the door for Selena. When Selena looked inside there a bunch of men that looked like thugs sitting and talking amongst each other. This was new to Selena since they didn’t have much crime in her home town she rarely saw men like these. Varian grabbed her arm and pulled her to a table, “heh it’s ok these guys are my friends they won’t hurt you, they may look mean but they are really giant softies” Varian said with a smile.

“Oh ok” Selena answered nervously.

Atilla came over to them caring a tray and a towel hanging from his arm. “Hello you two! What can I get you started today?” Atilla asked them.

“Hey Atilla! I don’t think you two have met. Atilla this is my friend Selena, Selena this is Atilla he’s a friend too” Varian said introducing them to each other.

“Hello it’s nice to meet you” Selena answer giving him a hand shake.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Varian talks about you frequently” Atilla greeted shaking her hand.

Varian face turned red and he slumped in his chair, “heh he means that I was talking about the first time you came to visit and what happed heh..” Varian said trying not to sound nervous.

“So what can I get you two?” Atilla asked.

“What do you have that’s for kids?” Selena asked.

“All we have is milkshakes” Atilla answered.

“Ok I’ll take that please” Selena said politely

“Ok, what about you Varian?” Atilla asked him.

“Really Atilla really” Varian said giving him a look.

“Haha, I’m just kidding a vanilla milkshake for you too” Atilla said with a chuckle.

Atilla left to get the drinks they ordered. Varian and Selena sat there quietly none of them knew what to say to try and start a conversation. Varian could start the conversation by telling Selena that he knows she had a crush on him and he was flattered but he just saw her as a friend. Selena was the first one to break the silence. “So Varian, how is that journal thing going about your mom? Did you find out anything?” Selena asked nervously hoping she didn’t insult him.

Varian hadn’t told anyone about the journal yet other than his dad and Selena so he thought it just be best to tell her what his dad told him. “Uhh...actually yesterday after we parted ways I confronted my dad about the journal and he told me about my mom and why he hid it from me, so I did learn a lot yesterday heh” Varian answered with half smile.

“Oh..well that’s good right? I mean now that you know you know you can go investigate” Selena said nervously.

“Heh yeah, but I still have so many unanswered questions like what is this Eternal library? why did she have to find these totems to find it? What was she trying to discover that she never came back?” Varian said with frustration.

Selena knew Varian was frustrated she probably would be to if she was in his situation. She was about to ask Varian something when Atilla came with the milkshakes, “here you go guys two vanilla milkshakes” Atilla said putting the two glasses down.

“Thanks Atilla” Selena said.

“Can I get you anything to eat?” Atilla asked Selena.

Selena looked at Varian he was mumbling to himself he didn’t even notice that Atilla was there. “Can you give us a moment Atilla, please” Selena asked giving him a half smile.

Atilla saw Varian was not himself so he thought best if he would leave them alone for awhile. “Sure I’ll be back later” Atilla answered walking away.

Selena got up and went to where Varian was, “Varian are you ok?” Selena asked with concern.

“I-I’m fine... it’s just I have so much to do and I’m really eager to find out if my mom is alive or out there somewhere. And I’m just stuck here doing nothing” Varian said with a sigh.

Selena didn’t know what to say, maybe Varian was holding off on his adventure because of her, because he wanted to stay and help her with the bakery. Selena didn’t want Varian to hold off on his journey because of her. “Varian, if your holding off on your journey because of me, you don’t have to... I don’t want to hold you back” Selena said with a sad tone.

Varian looked up at Selena he didn’t mean to hurt her feelings, it wasn’t her fault, he was mad at himself not her. Varian takes a deep breath and sighs, “No Selena I’m sorry, it’s not you I’m mad at. I’m mad at myself, I’m the one holding myself back from going on this journey. I know I can leave whenever I want...but I’m choosing to stay because i want to stay and help you.” Varian said with a smile.

“Really? Because if it is you won’t hurt my feelings if you want to leave..I understand how important this is to you” Selena said with a half smile.

“No it can wait, besides the bakery is almost finished and I really do like hanging out with you, it’s nice to have an actual friend” Varian said rubbing his hand behind his head nervously.

“Ok if your sure, and if you ever need someone to talk you I’m here to support you..” Selena said putting her hand on Varian shoulder.

“Th-Thanks Selena” Varian answered sheepishly.

“That’s what friends do” Selena said with a smile.

Selena went back to her seat, Atilla came over a few minutes later, “are you guys ready?” Atilla asked.

Selena looked over to Varian,He have her a smile, “yes Attila we’re ready” Varian answered with a smile.

“Do you have grilled cheese sandwiches?” Selena asked.

“Yes we do have sandwiches, we have cheese and ham sandwiches” Atilla said.

“Great I’ll have cheese sandwich please” Selena asked.

“Ok and for you Varian?” Atilla looked at Varian.

“I’ll have a ham sandwich please” Varian said with a smile.

“Alright guys, your sandwiches will be out shortly” Atilla answered.

Varian was happy that he had Selena as a friend, but he just could find the right words to say to her about him knowing that she liked him. “Selena I wanted to talk to you about something” Varian said nervously.

“Ok what is it?” Selena asked.

“It’s just...” Varian couldn’t find himself to finish the sentence. “Never mind it’s nothing” Varian said in defeat.

Selena gave him a look, “are you sure? Because I’m here to Listen if you need to talk” Selena said with a smile.

“I’m sure it’s nothing.. it can wait heh” Varian answered nervously.

Selena didn’t want it push Varian so she let it go, “ok if your sure” Selena answered.

A few moments later Atilla came over with their sandwiches, “here you go guys one cheese sandwich for Selena and one ham sandwich for Varian” Atilla said putting the plates down.

“Thank you Atilla” Selena said with a smile.

“Yes thank you Atilla” Varian said with a smile.

“Your welcome, I’ll leave you guys to eat” Atilla answered.

Varian and Selena ate their sandwich’s and talked about what they were going to do tomorrow, Varian even made a couple of jokes to make Selena laugh. By the time they were done It was already night fall. “Varian this place was great thank you for bringing me here” Selena said giving him a smile.

“Heh, your welcome, let me guys pay for the meal and we can go” Varian said taking out some money from his pocket.

Atilla came over to pick up the plates, when he saw Varian handing him the money, “No you don’t have to pay, it’s on the house” Atilla said putting his hand up.

“Really? Thanks Atilla” Varian said with a chuckle.

“Aww Atilla that’s so sweet thank you” Selena said with a smile.

“Have a great night kids” Atilla said waving goodbye to them as they went out the door.

“Well I better be heading back it’s pretty late, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Selena asked nervously.

“Yes I have to head home to my dad will get worried, but yes I’ll see you tomorrow” Varian said sheepishly.

Selena pulled Varian into a hug, Varian smiled and returned the hug. Selena pulled away and waved goodbye as she left. Varian waved goodbye and made his way back home. “Well nice going Varian you blew your chance to tell her again!” Varian said angrily to himself. “Well there’s always tomorrow I guess” Varian said with sigh. 15 mins passed by and he finally made it home, his was waiting for him as soon as Varian came in he hugged his son and said goodnight. Varian returned the hug and went to his room. “Well hopefully I’ll have the courage to tell her the truth tomorrow he said patting Ruddigar on the head. “Goodnight buddy” Varian told his pet Raccoon. Ruddigar crawled around Varian’s pillow and went to sleep. Varian closes his eyes and fell asleep.”

This concludes chapter 5😊 I wanted to end the chapter fluffy because I won’t be writing the next chapters till later😊 so let me know what you guys though of it? Reblogs and feedback and constructive criticism is always welcome 😉 thank you for all the amazing support! You guys are amazing!! And I hope to write again as soon as I get out of whatever funk I’m in lol 😂 oh and thank you @dangara2610 for your help your amazing!!

[militant-holy-knight]

On a fall day in the early 8th century, somewhere between the French cities of Poitiers and Tours, a Muslim army crashed into the serried ranks of a force led by a powerful Frankish noble: Charles, Mayor of the Palace and son of Pippin of Herstal. In the ensuing battle, Abdul Rahman Al Ghafiqi — governor of the Muslim territories in Al-Andalus (Spain) — was slain, and his troops were routed. This confrontation between two Dark Age warlords echoed through the ages and acquired a potent symbolism, all despite the fact that medievalists know relatively little about the principal protagonists and the respective orders of battle, let alone how the fight actually unfolded.

We do actually know sufficient details about everything in regards to the battle and considering the author used a BBC link (from an outlet infamous for historical revisionism) to prove his point, I really shouldn’t take what he claims seriously. And even if any of these things are true... Should they be dismissed? There are important battles whose details are still obscure like the Battle of the Cataluniuan Fields where the Romans fought Atilla the Hun, but no one knows who won. Yet no one ever complains about it because it isn’t a thorn on the author’s skin. But again this is pointless because we know how the battle played out.

Edward Gibbon famously speculated that, had Abdul Rahman prevailed at Poitiers,

“the Arabian fleet might have sailed without a naval combat into the mouth of the Thames. Perhaps the interpretation of the Koran would now be taught in the schools of Oxford, and her pulpits might demonstrate to a circumcised people the sanctity and truth of the revelation of Mahomet.”

The French romantic writer Chateaubriand made the equally dramatic claim that, “if it were not for Charles Martel’s valor, we would all be wearing turbans.”

“Oh yes, how I wish these Islamophobes had just bowed down their heads and let the Arabs walk over them, violate their wives and daughters, destroy and desecrate their churches. Europe would have been so much more tolerant than today.” - Iskander Rehman, the author of this piece of shit.

Perhaps most importantly, Charles Martel has become an enduring icon of fascist and far-right movements, in France and other Western states. The Vichy regime, for example, reveled in its warped reading of Charles Martel and of medieval French history more broadly. The francisca, an early Frankish throwing axe, featured prominently in Vichy iconography and propaganda, and Charles Martel was presented alongside Joan of Arc as an embodiment of pre-revolutionary Catholic virtue. Meanwhile, a notorious division of French volunteers to the Nazi SS was named the Division Charlemagne after the great Carolingian Emperor and grandson of Charles Martel. In the years following France’s bitter war in Algeria, a far-right group — the Cercle Charles Martel — conducted a string of terror attacks against Algerians and citizens of North African descent in France. More recently, the founder of the French Front National party, Jean-Marie Le Pen, reacted to the Charlie Hebdo killings by proudly claiming “Je suis Charlie Martel,” in defiance of the more republican and inclusive slogan “Je suis Charlie.” “Je suis Charlie Martel” has since become one of the rallying cries of French far-right activists.

This sinister historical crush extends far beyond France. Anders Breivik, the Norwegian neo-Nazi who slaughtered 77 people in 2011, claimed in his online rants to have “identified” with the figure of Charles Martel. In the United States, a group called the Charles Martel Society funds the publication of a pseudo-intellectual and deeply racist journal, The Occidental Quarterly. Charles de Steuben’s famous 19th-century painting of the Battle of Poitiers flashes through one of Richard Spencer’s slickly edited “alt-right” videos, providing a brief and jarring backdrop to a long stream of nativist gobbledygook.

These two paragraphs can be summed up as “Racists, bigots and hate groups love Charles Martel, so you cannot too or else you are one of them”. The irony in all of this is that Adolf Hitler hated Charles Martel for defeating the Arabs because he felt that if they had won, they would have brought Islam to Germans and they would have become unstoppable, since he felt Islam was a more appropriate religion for the Nazis.

Most modern historians are skeptical of the notion that the battle of Poitiers constituted such a watershed moment. While the defeat of the Andalusian army by a Western European force was certainly significant, it was not unprecedented. Only a few years prior, Odo of Aquitaine crushed another Muslim army outside Toulouse, but this battle never acquired the same mythological symbolism of the battle of Poitiers.

The difference is that Odo’s victory was merely temporary while Charles’ stopped any more invasions - that is exactly what makes it decisive. If Arabs had retreated back to Spain after the Battle of Tolouse, you’d be writing this same article except condemning Odo of Tolouse instead of Charles Martel. The Battle of Poitiers happened because Odo asked Charles for his help and in exchange he’d swear his allegiance to him.

The academic consensus now appears to be that Al Ghafiqi’s foray into what was then referred to as Northern Gaul was a long-distance raid or “razzia” motivated not so much by an ambition for conquest as by a desire for plunder. Indeed, we are told that the prime target of this raid was a wealthy religious sanctuary located at Saint Martin de Tours and filled with gold and precious fabrics. Hugh Kennedy has noted that the defeat seems to have had little resonance in the wider Arabo-Muslim world, and he views it as one symptom of many that marked the steady decline of the Syrian-based Umayyad Caliphate. Others have pointed to the Caliphate’s overextension into Spain and to the growing tensions between local Arab and Berber forces as well as rival tribes and clans. 

A lot of Islam apologists use this argument of “plunder” to whitewash it’s militarist expansionism and not name it what it actually was: colonialism. There is no such thing as being there “just” for plunder when Arabs are actively settling the region and governing over it (Septimania was already occupied by this point). The Vikings were motivated solely by plunder and didn’t care about ruling their victims (the Danelaw over England being the exception). I love how he uses “academic consensus” because that is dogwhistle for “what me and my SJW friends agree with”, as well as “Arab Muslim world didn’t care for this battle, but I am so mad about it I am going to write everything I can to discredit it”

Although the destruction of Al Ghafiqi’s field army depleted the Ummayads’ local reservoir of military strength, Moorish troops lingered in some southern French cities such as Narbonnes for two and a half more decades. Meanwhile, Muslim raiders continued their “ghazawat” across the Pyrenees for at least another a century, long after the fall of the Ummayads.

Minor skirmishes don’t mean a whole lot if they can’t even launch another full-scale invasion again.

It would be reductive to present the battle of Poitiers as the military manifestation of some age-old existential struggle between Christendom and Islam. Charles Martel’s Europe was a continent of many faiths and philosophies, not a religiously bipolar system. 

OMFG. You actually went there, you son of a bitch.

Religious differences could cut across tribes, kingdoms, and ethnicities. For example, along the Pyrenees resided the fiercely independent Basques, some of whom were Muslim, some of whom were Christian, and a portion of whom practiced more ancient forms of belief. The “Song of Roland,” a medieval ballad familiar to all products of French middle schools, recounts the cowardly ambush of one of Emperor Charlemagne’s retainers, the noble Roland, by enemy forces in a narrow mountain pass. For centuries, schoolchildren were told that the Carolingian knight had been killed by “Saracens” — Muslim forces based in Spain. It is now believed that Roland — whose prolonged death scene famously inspired Boromir’s in Lord of the Rings — was actually killed by Basques, rather than by Arabs or Berbers. This historical gaffe provides yet another indication of our tendency to overlook the rich tapestry of political and religious actors in early medieval Europe in favor of more binary models.

Admittedly, the Song of Roland is very historically inaccurate - this is obvious to anyone who reads it since Muslims worship Muhammad the same way Christians do with Jesus - but this is explained due to an unfamiliarity the people at the time had with other religions. Rehman expect us to believe that Europe was like this bastion of religious tolerance when the authors of the Song of Roland can even get other people’s religions right.

I am honestly done, this guy is beyond retarded and I feel like genocided more braincells than I should have trying to refute his bullshit. I strongly mulled on whether or not to post this, but I feel like it would have been a waste of time to not expose this shit. Iskander Rehman is the kind of guy who would criminalize celebrating the Battle of Poitiers, the Siege of Vienna or any “triumph of the cross over the crescent” battle (even an obscure one, like the Battle of Vaslui) if he had the power to do so.

[ketch117]

Hello. Can you list 10 reasons why Robert Baratheon is your favourite character? Thanks.

If you want. I did a post about this, once upon a time, that I think explains things eloquently (https://ketch117.tumblr.com/post/175829053109/robert-baratheon-for-whatever-thats-worth) but I suppose I have no problem finding ten new reasons. I will admit that I feel that if you need to justify your feelings, you’re not being honest, but nonetheless I will indulge a small disclaimer here to specify that Robert had numerous shortcomings, that much is well documented, and this post is not about them. Alright, here we go: 1.) I think part of the reason that I respond well to a character like Robert is because he's absolutely everything you're not supposed to be. He's rude, irreverent and sexist, dismissive of his enemies (rather than appropriately guilty for their deaths), and very much a product of the times he lives in. His great abilities in war have held him in little stead as king, which goes a long way in displaying the limitations of the society which exalts such behaviour which he comes from, yet he’s too vivid to be nothing but social commentary. Robert was self aware, he knew exactly what he was, and never pretended to be anything else. 2.) For all that the readers tend to not have respect for him, he was given a huge amount of respect as King. Even when he became a drunken serial whoremonger, no one dared step out of line (except for Balon, who paid mightily for it). Apart from crushing the Targaryen dynasty, he rallied the Kingdoms and solidified his crown when he crushed the Greyjoy rebellion. The realm would never have bled such as it did if he had reigned longer - fear of him and his hammer did for his reign what dragons did for the Targaryens, and it is worth remembering that all the People of Kings Landing came out for his funeral. Despite the spin that the Lannister’s tried, they sure didn’t do that for Joffrey. 3.) He was smart enough to let more capable men rule the realm while he enjoyed his life. Not that he ever did, since he’s one of the more realistic depictions of depression you’ll find in fantasy literature, but his greatest strength was his charisma. His ability to win people to his side, to turn enemies to allies. 4.) One thing that I really appreciated about Robert, ironically, was the fact that, despite the fact that he believed Rhaegar raped Lyanna, he still loved her and would have been willing - even eager to marry her if she were alive - and he never held what had happened to her against her. When you compare that to the way that rape victims are treated, even today, it shows that despite his flaws, there was a lot of good in him. For all his hatred of Targaryens, the only Targaryen whose death he was even fractionally responsible for was on the battlefield, and despite ultimately ordering Daenerys’ assassination he took it back on his deathbed and went to the grave regretting it. Robert hated, but he never really acted upon it for petty, personal reasons - unlike almost every other aristocrat in the series 5.) Gods he was strong then. Robert won three battles in a single day. He won every battle he ever fought save a single one, and ended every battle in a better position than he was beforehand. And remember how Jaime tried to cut his way to Robb Stark at Whispering Wood? Robert pulled that off. In every battle he ever fought. The man does not lack physical courage, and while that is not in itself a virtue (Atilla the Hun, to pick a name rather harder to defend that Robert Baratheon, certainly wasn’t lacking in physical courage), virtue without courage any virtue is largely academic. 6.) His loyalty. Understated, perhaps, but very important. Robert always has his friends back. I know some people feel he sold his brothers short by giving them valuable estates and immensely influential positions, but those people don’t make a lot of sense to me. Robert was a wonderful friend to Ned, a good son to Jon Arryn, and he did his best to be a good brother as well, even if a lot of people choose not to see it. 7.) I like that he deconstructs the heroes journey on a pretty fundamental level. He starts off as the rugged individualist against the establishment, fighting a dragon who has locked a maiden in a tower, and yet the story starts long after his best years, where he’s become a shell of that person. Fate can be cruel, can it not? 8.) I like the complexity of his nature - something that a lot of people ignore. Robert isn’t one thing or another, his good qualities don’t cancel out his bad ones, anymore than his bad qualities cancel out his good ones. Robert doesn’t fit neatly into any category, and I think that it is this very quality that causes so many to misidentify him. He’s not a good man, and he’s not a bad man either. He’s all sorts of man. 9.) His Historical Parallels. I tend to equate him to Henry FitzEmpress and Edward of Marche, myself, though a case has been made for Henry Bollingbrooke and Henry V which I can see. Most of histories greatest kings have been drunken philandering warmongers, I urge you to remember. 10.) Well, the rest isn’t anything concrete. I like the stag motifs drawing parallels to the ‘stag king’ of Celtic myth (the king is the land and the land is the king). I like the archetype of the great warrior finding he’s not cut out to be king. I like that moment in the television show where he talks to Cersei about the state of the Realm, and that moment in the novels where he tells Ned he wishes he could leave it all behind and be a sellsword. I like Robert Baratheon because he feels more real, more alive than the other characters. Because there’s something perverse in my nature that doesn’t want to see happy endings. I like Robert Baratheon because I do - these are all just attempts to rationalise it.

[requiemdance]

[spidersmiceandeverythingnice]

Absolutely No One Asked for This but HERE IT IS ANYWAY 

(also known as how I would’ve written the Rome Singularity in Fate Grand Order because it COULD have been great but... was kind of... meh.) 

Under the read-more because I have a tendency to ramble, ANYWHO...

So we begin roughly the same way - the party arrives on a hill in the Italian peninsula, overlooking a battle. One side is clearly about to be overwhelmed by the other - the larger army is also Conveniently Populated with ghouls and zombies, cluing our heroes in as to who the Good Guys are for this chapter of the story. The party intervenes and the commander of the armies make their appearance - one is the teenage Emperor Nero and the other is, gasp! Caligula, who is supposed to be dead.

The team quickly deduces that Nero’s reign is the Singularity and that the enemy - at this point, still Dr. Lainur - is using the Holy Grail to resurrect powerful Heroic Spirits of the Roman Empire in order to destroy the foundation of humanity here, at one of the most pivotal moments of Western civilization. I would also include characters like Caesar, Leonidas, and maybe Alexander (or perhaps Heroic Spirit Hannibal of Carthage riding atop a war elephant because COME ON, DELIGHT-WORKS, DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF HERE??!) working reluctantly alongside Caligula in the first appearance, making it abundantly clear that they are being controlled by outside forces. The main difference is that I would also include Boudica among the enemy army - her hatred of Nero would certainly be enough to motivate her initially. So in any case, the plan might’ve worked had Nero not been motivated by equal parts narcissism and genuine love of the people to hold onto the throne. Nero accepts the party as allies and introduces them to Jing Ke, her “ambassador from the East.” Jing Ke further clarifies that she’s a Heroic Spirit who specializes in assassinating emperors. (”Uh, Jing Ke, didn’t you FAIL to assassinate the Emperor the first time around?” “It was simply fated that I would die that day. Besides, assassination is really more of a hobby for me.”) With all of this information, Nero decides to immediately use their newfound strength to take the fight to her uncle - but before she can do that, Caligula and Boudica arrive and the two of them set fire to the city of Rome.

Fleeing to the harbor for safety, the party is caught in a storm and winds up on a Mysterious Mythical Island somewhere in the Mediterranean Sea. There, they met Stheno, the eldest of the Gorgon Sisters, who spills the Tea regarding Nero’s haphazard rise to power and basically affirms that, while her love for the people and country is genuine, her selfishness and unwillingness to compromise with other leaders is what will bring her down in the end. Stheno’s quest happens in more or less the same way, but it’s really just a test to see if the player’s conviction to save humanity is genuine. After the player returns, Stheno tells them that perhaps they can defeat the other emperors by legitimizing Nero somehow. At this point, she directs them to Romulus, the great founder of Rome itself. Romulus declares that, as the child of a war god and Heroic Spirit, the only way to prove worth as a ruler is by defeating him in Single Combat. Also, Romulus should be a five-star Servant and ridiculously strong compared to the other enemies, just to emphasize how much of a Big Fuckin Deal this dude is, both in the mythology of Rome and to Nero’s personal story.

Nero is a little bit shaken by the effort it takes to defeat Romulus, but he declares that since she is still young, she will surely grow as an emperor - and as such, he will see to it that she remains on the throne. This should be a moment of some character development for Nero, who in this timeline has only just taken the throne and is still grappling with the responsibilities she has as an Emperor. Romulus should tell her that a true leader is not simply the strongest warrior, but someone who can plant the seeds that can allow future generations to thrive. Then we would get a cut scene where Jing Ke manages to assassinate Caligula just for the hell of it. 

The party now makes its way back to Rome, which has been badly damaged by the fire. As they clear the city of remaining enemies, they gather a small crowd which demands to know why Nero fled during the fire instead of defending them from the armies of Boudica and Caligula. Nero at first tries to make Romulus stand up for her, but he declines. Nero is able to use her charisma to pacify the crowd somewhat and declares that she will continue personally overseeing the battles against the False Emperors, ending the battle swiftly so that she may return to build up a new Rome that is stronger than ever before. The seeds of discontent are still in the crowd but Nero herself is filled with renewed determination. The party heads out into the wilds of “Barbarian” Europe. 

At this point, you really start encountering the Enemy Servants, but it becomes quickly apparent to Lainur - revealed through cutscenes - that a lot of these people don’t ACTUALLY want Rome destroyed. Leonidas and Alexander aren’t Romans but enjoy the chance to battle against legends like Romulus and are grateful when they are defeated. Caesar gripes and groans and goes easy on Nero, peppering his fight with advice as to how she - his descendant - might continue his legacy. Even Boudica is beginning to show signs of discontent as she realizes that the imminent destruction of Rome won’t bring her daughters or husband back - but will eventually lead to the destruction of her beloved Britainnia as well. I think Hannibal would’ve been a better addition to the lineup here because I think his motivation for the destruction of Rome (avenging his devastated nation), contrasts pretty strongly with Boudica’s more personal drive (she may hate Rome but she doesn’t really want to destroy the entire world). The party might fight Boudica here, but once you beat her, she escapes back to the capital and a frustrated Lainur then decides to summon a third, powerful Heroic Spirit - Attila the Hun. These three “scourges” of Rome are then sent out to defeat you.

Jing Ke rejoins the party just before Nero and Friends arrive at the False Capital, which is located somewhere between France and Germany. She tells them of Atilla’s summoning and fears the worst. You push forward, defeating Boudica first. After which Hannibal might appear and Boudica, having had a change of heart and deciding that her true loyalties lie with defending Britainnia, not destroying humanity. Boudica joins your party after a heart-to-heart with Nero, in which Nero should display her first moment of true humility, and then you go on to beat Hannibal, finally moving on to Attila. 

After defeating Attila, you get to Lainur and the Demon Pillar, at which point the idea of Solomon as the antagonist was introduced if I remember correctly. In the aftermath of that battle, the team muses about the nature of leadership and legacy. Romulus declares that Rome is the eternal city and would never fall, etc, etc, etc and it’s all very hopeful and sweet - and you disappear and ta da! End of Singularity. Boss fights galore - Romulus as the Five Star Servant he rightfully deserves to be - and maybe character development for Nero and Boudica. 

There’s an alternative version of this where I think it would be possible to include Attila from the beginning (at the expense of Alexander and Leonidas), and then have the Final Boss Servant be Remus - the murdered brother of Romulus. But either way, I think the main thing is just to not have the party running haphazardly across Europe as much - and include a few more nuggets of Real History, like the Great Fire of Rome and the devastation of Carthage and whatnot.The main theme of the chapter should be “legacy,” in the way that there is no such thing as a “pure” country or “perfect” person, but that humans should always strive to build better things and work to not repeat the mistakes and pains of their ancestors. Rome should be a hopeful and spirited Singularity with a more focused plot line, and I think it would do a world of good! I actually really liked the chapter but it was so... unfocused... or rather, it was so focused on hyping up Nero that it forgot to have a coherent storyline with a climax and resolution.

Anyway, if you have suggestions or something then feel free to reply or message because I think A Lot of how I would’ve written or rewritten some stuff in Grand Order.

[empressdrega27]

I LOVE the over protective Ahk HC! Could you please do a part two where they meet the REAL Kah and once again reader get hurt and he almost loses her for real this time (angsty as heck) but it ends fluffy?

“

Hello yes, I loved writing those, so you bet I’ll do a part 2!

Angsty Headcanons for Ahkmenrah almost losing you to a near fatal injury inflicted by the real Kahmunrah:

*Well when you saw on the news that they’d found a new mummy

*You were most definitely not expecting this

*New mummy turned out to be Kahmunrah 

*The real Kahmunrah

*Yeah, turns out that Ahk’s theory was correct

*The Kah you met at the Smithsonian was just a wax figure of him

*And the real one is way worse

*He hates Ahk more than you could possibly imagine

*And he hates you because you’re with Ahk

*The real Kah kinda went insane after he came into power

*And the insanity is still there

*So now here you are, tied tightly to Ahk’s sarcophagus

*Kah’s wild expression is enough to tell you that this is no game

*Ahk arrives, khopesh in hand, ready to fight Kah and save you

*Neither of you expected Kah to stab you the moment he laid eyes on his brother

*Kah takes the large dagger on his hip, and drives it into your torso

*You scream and wail in pain and fear as Kah cackles madly

*He rips the blade from your body and drops you

*Ahk screams, and the sorrow and terror in his voice makes you hurt almost as much as the stab wound

*This time Ahk pulls no punches

*He charges forward and swings the khopesh with enough force to shatter bone on impact

*Unfortunately for Kah, Ahk is wielding a weapon specifically designed to cut

*And cut it does

*Ahk’s swing is violent enough that Kah can’t dodge in time, and the blade cleanly decapitates him

*Kah turns to dust instantly

*You gasp in horror and then scream again in pain

*Ahk rushes to you, and hold you against him

*He takes his cloak and uses it to try and stop the bleeding

*But it’s no use, your vision is fading and you know deep down that you’re going to die

*Ahk sobs and screams, begging you to stay with him

*”N-no! Y/n please!! Stay with me! Gods, don’t leave me!! I can’t *sob*, I can’t live without you….”

*You put your hand on his heart and tell him you love him

*You hear him screaming in agony as your vision goes black

*Later, you awaken in a hospital bed

*You’re hooked to a plethora of various machines and tubes

*One of which goes to a blood transfusion bag

*You shift a bit and groan

*The pain reminds you of what happened

*You gasp and panic a bit

*Where’s Ahk?!

*What happened to him?!

*Is he okay?!

*Your heart monitor goes off and a nurse runs into your room

*She tells you that you’ve been in a coma for a week

*You ask for a phone and dial the museum’s number

*But you quickly realize that calling the museum in the middle of the day and asking to talk to Ahkmenrah, would probably earn you a longer hospital stay

*So you call Larry instead

*He informs you that Ahk carried you to the foyer and called an ambulance

*And that Atilla had to physically drag him back into the museum, as the sun was coming up

*Larry also tells you that since your condition was so severe, they weren’t allowing any visitors to see you

*But since you’re awake, they might now

*Sure enough, when Larry and Nicky come to see you later that day, the nurses let them in

*And later that night, Larry brings Ahk to see you

*He barrels into your room (dressed in modern clothes) and throws himself at you

*He’s sobbing uncontrollably and he keeps apologizing to you

*”I’m so s-sorry, m-my love. T-this is all m-my fault… I’m a horrible, w-worthless wretch for letting this h-happen!”

*You grab him and assure him that it’s not his fault

*No one knew that it was Kahmunrah, and even if they did, how would the events have turned out any differently?

*You coax him up to you and kiss him gently

*He curls up in your bed and holds you close all night

*Every time a nurse comes in to check your vitals, Ahk tenses and holds you tighter

*After you’re released from the hospital, he keeps a very close eye on you

*Anyone who’s too rough with you or makes you wince, is given either a stern talking to

*Or an ass whooping, depending on how much they hurt you

*One of the vikings teased you for being in the hospital so long, and one of them smacked you on the back

*You passed out from the pain, and Ahk knocked every single viking unconscious

*He’s very protective of you, and he dotes on you more than ever

*He’s learned to bake, just so he can make you cookies when you’re in pain 

*And if you have nightmares from the incident, he’s there to chase them away

*He’s such a doll, it’s unbelievable 

*You’re so grateful for him, and you know that your recovery would’ve been unbearable without him

*He’s also started taking precautions against further threats

*Curses, boobytraps, and other manner of horror inducing protective measures against any would be attackers 

*Hopefully he’ll never have to use them

*For now though, Ahk’s just overjoyed that you lived

*He tells you every day how much he loves you, and how glad he is to have you

*You tell him the same, you’d be dead without him after all

[siocynder]

How to World-Build

How to World-build

Okay, so I’m not some kind of all-knowing human, and I don’t know everything about writing (I hate writing disclaimers…everyone should just know that this is all opinion and if it helps anyone then great, and if not, don’t blame me).

Regardless, I’m an avid reader and a writer. Lately—and I don’t know if it’s my age or what—I’ve been noticing more and more things within the novels I’ve been reading that, honestly, could use some help. So, I’ve decided to put my English/Creative Writing minor to good use and try to assist people who are struggling, or maybe just help them revamp their novel, or give someone an interesting read. Here is the first note of many others, I hope.

All of these points could be so much larger, so if you have questions or want me to go deeper, just let me know. Now…

World-building takes effort, research, and time, and if you aren’t willing to put all that into it I will say this to you: DO NOT DO IT. It’s as simple as that.

Here’s the thing, people will tell you that all a book needs are good characters, or a good plot, who cares about the setting? But that’s WRONG, okay? So, so wrong. Yes, good characters are important. Yes, the plot is hella important. But so is the setting. People want to know. They’ll always want to know more. Can we give them everything? No, but we can sure as heck try to.

Rule 1: Setting

Let’s just start here since world-building is a ridiculously complicated thing. So, you have a plot and characters. Awesome, that’s amazing. Some people don’t even get that far. Pat yourself on the back. Now, you’re getting into the setting. Oh, yay! The fun part! (That’s not even sarcasm; I like world-building).

First thing first: Where is this story taking place?

I know that seems like a super easy question, but sometimes it’s not easy to answer. I mean, it could be present-day Earth, past Earth, future Earth, fantasy medieval realm, fantasy futurist realm, another world, etc. You have so many choices and only so many are really going to work with the story you want to tell. Your readers will want to know where they are and what they’ll be experiencing, and if you don’t give them that you’re basically just leaving an entire portion of their reading experience in the dark. And that’s not fun, trust me.

You’ll find that most of the books you pick up are either placed in America or on a completely different world. For those of you who are writing in America, do not just state the city if your characters are going to be there the whole book. You want to know why? Because people from other countries have no idea what that city is like the majority of the time. Heck, there are people from America who have no idea what the other side of America is like. So, put in little landmarks, or things that are interesting and add them to your story. Don’t force them, but if, say, your characters are going on a date, you could make them walk past something or have them do something that might be special to that city. Surprise! You’ve just world-built.

Now, you might have noticed that I said, “if your characters are going to be there the whole book”. This is when things change a bit. If your characters are going to be moving around most of the time, it’s best not to boggle the story down with needless information. For example, in my books series, my characters aren’t in their hometown for very long. They get up and leave halfway through the book and will continue travelling. Does that mean I don’t world-build? No. I’m just going to be doing it differently. I get out a map, plot their course, and I try to stay as close to the set up of that area as I can. Are they walking through trees? Are they going North or West? Are they going to run into a swamp? All these things are considered world-building.

Listen, this might seem tedious, but it’s your story! Don’t you want to put all that effort in and make it the best you can? For those of you writing in fantasy worlds, I’ve got you covered. Don’t worry, we’ll get right into that next.

Rule 2: History

All right, let’s start easy. History of your world. Oh, wait…you thought you could just brush over it? Not mention it? Be subtle about it? Excuse me while I snort in your face.

Your readers aren’t stupid. Don’t act like they are and don’t treat them like they are. If you slip up, the people most likely to notice are your readers. Surprised? You shouldn’t be.

So, you have a world now. Please, oh please, do not just jump into the story thinking the readers will just take that. Because, let me tell you now, you’re going to regret it. There will be some point in your first book, or second book, or third book where you will need to know the history of your world. Do you need to map it out 100%, year by year? No, of course not, but I will tell you that if you’re planning on mentioning some “Great War” you should know that war backwards and forwards. You should know how it came about and what happened afterwards.

Look, our Earth has YEARS of history, of different cultures and times. Do you know all of it? Probably not. However, you probably know what World War I and II were about. You probably know about the Potato Famine in Ireland. You probably know about Atilla the Hun. Your characters will most likely know their world’s history or at least parts of it. You definitely should.

History is what causes the present. You’ve got characters that walk around in red cloaks. Why? What made them do this? Why are they still doing it? You need to ask yourself these questions. A lot of the time, especially in fantasy worlds, the history will repeat itself (just like it does in real-life), or it’ll have a big tie-in to what’s happening in the present. Don’t think that just because the story doesn’t take place in the past that the past is useless to know.

Come up with a history. It will be worth it.

Rule 3: Make the world plausible

Okay, here’s the thing. Here’s what started this whole blog post to begin with. Plausibility.

People…you can’t just come up with a random world and expect it to fly. Readers aren’t going to like that. They’re going to think that you believe they’re stupid, and they sure as heck aren’t. This is where you put your skills to the test. For goodness sake, make your world an actual possibility. Please, I’m begging you to.

I read a book once where there was a queen of an entire world. That’s not possible unless the world is literally the size of Russia. And even Russia couldn’t keep their tsar. One person cannot control the whole world. There is a reason that we have multiple leaders on Earth and that’s because it’s impossible to balance everyone’s wants, needs, opinions, etc on one person. I mean, taking over the world is a really nice thought, but even I know I wouldn’t be able to do it on my own without riots. Think of America. You’re split down the middle between Republicans and Democrats and their leader can hardly keep a hand on them all. So, for the love of all that is good, do not expect to have one person rule a whole world, whether they have magical powers or not. It’s not happening.

Your world should be historically plausible as well. So, you’re telling the story in the present of a young girl who rivals against a government after years of her world being one way…Why hasn’t this happened before? How did anyone let the government become so bad without riots or yet another special young girl who thought the same thing? And, please, do not say “fear”. Let me tell you this right now, fear can actually make people fight back even more. It’s like backing someone into a corner. They aren’t going to take that for long. Fear is short-lived. You don’t think the people who started the French Revolution weren’t scared? They were fearing for their lives and they were angry! Sure, there were people who stayed hidden and did what they were told, but there were also a lot of people who couldn’t take it anymore. Do not have your story be the magical fix of the government for the first time because, chances are, someone’s already done it before but failed.

I’m not going to name novel names, so if you know what this book is then awesome. If not, I’m sure someone will mention it. In this one particular book something bad happened on Earth, and so a man took a bunch of skilled people on a boat and sailed away from America, only to bump into England where there was suddenly magic and no technology (basically medieval living)? Now, from what I can gather from other people—because I didn’t read the second book— the boat sailed through some kind of portal and a new land showed up. Again, I don’t know if that’s what happens, but that’s what I’ve gathered.

Regardless, this…is weird. This basically says, “I want to write a medieval story, but what to reference popular Earth trends” (which this author does. Mention popular Earth trends, I mean). You could have simply written a medieval-timed novel, but instead overcomplicated it. Why is there a portal? Where did this world come from? Not to mention, in the first book, people are just expected to know that this man sailed through a portal instead of telling the reader what happened. They find out in the second book.

No. No, no, no, no. That confuses so many people! I don’t know about you, but I’m confused just reading all that back to myself. Medieval future of the world? Um…I’m not taking that unless you work very hard to convince me. That story? Not doing it for me. And it didn’t do anything for many other people too. The thing is, if you’re going to do something that complicated, you need to put focus on it. Not shove it to the back and hope people just get it.

Be scientifically and magically plausible. If your world has powers, make a good reason as to why. Spiderman didn’t get bitten by a radioactive spider just because all the cool kids were doing it. He was bitten in order to give him powers. Superman came from another planet. X-men have a mutation. You see what I mean? Magic is still somewhat based on science. You can’t just say that it’s a way of life unless that way of life is marginally different from our own.

Just, you know…keep that in mind.

Rule 4: Details

You’ve got your world, you’ve got your history, you’ve got rules. Now what?

Now we get into the details. There are things you need to think about when writing a novel. This isn’t a movie, it’s a book. You have to build everything from the bottom up. Your readers aren’t going to have the same image of the world that you do, so you need to tell them. You need to show them.

You’re in a fantasy world, which means it’s different from Earth, which means you need to figure out what makes it different and what makes it similar. You’re going to have some kind of currency for one thing. Whether that be trading or new money, who knows? But it’s something to add to give your world another dimension.

What kinds of religions are there? Chances are, you’re writing about a world probably as big as Earth with all kinds of different people on it. They aren’t all going to believe the same thing. Some will have a religion, some won’t. Religion doesn’t always play into a story, but that doesn’t mean your characters aren’t ever going to mention it, especially if they say a turn-of-phrase. For example, people will say, “Oh my God” or “For God’s sake” or “Bloody Hell”. Your world may not have a God or a Hell, but chances are they have something similar.

Are there other kinds of species? Do they have their own parts in the story? If you have other aliens or species or races, put them in. Goodness me, don’t just let them sit on the sidelines. This is a great way to make your world more intricate and interesting. If you tell me there are sirens that live on the beach, BRING THEM IN! I want to see them! They were obviously important to mention and who knows what those sirens were doing during your “Great War” you mention earlier in the novel. Maybe they have a queen, and that queen’s mother was the mistress of a horrible King that started the Great War. I don’t know, but give me something. Plus, it gives you more to write if you do that!

What’s your worlds stand-point on sexuality or race? Right, bet you thought you could get away with not mentioning those, huh? Look, you don’t need to have a full conversation about where they stand on those things. That would be boring. Just show me. Show me if people of different colors get along. Show me that sexuality isn’t a big deal. Something as simple as mentioning/showing a guy having a boyfriend or a girl having darker skin and being accepted as an equal is enough to put across how your world views these things.

Politics. Oh, goodness…This is a difficult one because it’s a very heavy/convoluted subject and if you can’t do it right your story might fall apart, because—let’s face it—chances are your main character is working against politics. You need to figure out how it’s run, who runs it, what kinds of repercussions are happening. You need to tell the reader why people go along with it and how it all works. You have a King, but do they get voted in, do they battle for the throne, do they simply pass it off to an heir? These are matters that need to be thought about.

There are so many other things: houses, transportation, fashion, jobs, etc. If you’re writing in a fantasy world, you need to be thinking about all of these.

Rule 5: Make it part of the story

You’ve got your world in place, so how do you put it in your novel?

I’m just going to capitalize this since people seem to keep doing it: DO NOT INFO-DUMP!

What is info-dumping, you may ask? Well, let me tell you.

That’s when you take all the lovely information that you’ve compiled and then ram it down everyone’s throats all at once. Whether you do it at the beginning or during a conversation, that’s still info-dumping. People don’t want to be told everything all at once. It’s not a fun way to discover a new world. You need to show them. Have your characters discuss an on-coming war, have them use the currency you’ve created, have them ask questions about a past event. Just don’t give everything in uncomfortable blocks all at the same time.

Maybe you’ve come up with words specific to your story. Phrases aren’t so bad, you can use them almost right off the bat, and as long as they make sense and are used the way Earth phrases are, you’re generally okay to keep going without explaining them. That is, unless they’re super weird. 

That being said, if you have words for other species or your enemy, even for transportation or anything really, you should be explaining them almost right away. There’s nothing more annoying than jumping into a novel and having your character pull out all these different words and not understanding what they mean. While info-dumping isn’t ideal, it’s still okay to put one or two sentences after using a new word to tell us what it means. No one is going to crucify you for doing that.

Rule 6: Stay consistent

This is my final point (for now). Here’s the thing, you’ve built this world. It’s okay to add things as you go as long as it doesn’t make any major changes. Suddenly realized you need a prison of some sort in the third book? You can add one. Just don’t make it in the middle of your kingdom, where your characters have been passing by for the last two books.

Deus ex machina…it’s basically a cop-out. It means adding something random for the sake of eliminating a problem. Like in Homer’s The Odyssey, when the battle is about to begin, Athena appears to tell both parties to stop and the war never happens. Athena becomes the dues ex machina. 

Do you know what’s also a deus ex machina? When your characters are in trouble and your main character suddenly discovers a new power to help them out. Or, they have an item that can only be used when convenient but doesn’t work at any other point in the novel. If you’re going to have rules for your magic and the magical items within your world, you must keep to said-rules. The exception is if something drastic happens that alters everything, but that usually just overcomplicates things and I’m sure you can figure out a way to escape the issue without doing something like that.

You can’t change the history you made, you can’t alter the rules to suit the situation, and you can’t throw things in without forewarning or just because they’ll help. You need to stick with what you have. This is why my best advice is to plot your series first. That way you know what you’ll need. I mean, yeah, you’ll come up with points later on. We all do. You just can’t make them novel-altering. It doesn’t work and your readers will know.

 So, that’s all I have for right now. Like I said, all of these points could be so much longer, but this is a good start. If you have questions, let me know. If you have comments, leave them. This is my opinion and what I’ve learned through my writing courses, so if you don’t agree that’s okay! There’s no harm in that. I hope this helped a few people, and, if not, I hope it was at least a little entertaining.

Sio.