#i had too much fun picking these out (hence why there are so many)

[penelopesbridgerton]

favorite wardrobes in dizi

nesrin cavadzade as şahika ekinci yasak elma (2019-2021)

[allfearstofallto]

Dandelion Wine

Yandere! Scaramouche x Fem! Reader x Yandere(?) Childe

Forced Marriage AU

Word Count: 4.1k

Synopsis: No crush is simply harmless when married to Scaramouche, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him. And what he doesn't see won't affect him, so what's the harm in putting on a little show?

TW: Yandere, obsessive themes, forced marriage, mentions of abuse/violence/punishment, reader mentions dissociating during sex, dub-con, unprotected sex, finishing inside, voyeurism, infidelity, masturbation (m. & f.)

Scaramouche believed that dinner should be eaten in silence with only the sound of the silverware and plates clattering. Hence why he rarely spoke at the table. He also believed that the same morals he applied to himself, were for you as well. Your sweet, plump lips that he kissed and sucked constantly, were to be shut and devoid of noises, only eating during meal times. The food that was prepared was meant to be savored, every bite of it tasted and appreciated. Because of that, dinners felt long, quiet, and worst of all, extremely tense.

The only times things were different, was when Childe came to visit. Number eleven as your husband called him, and Ajax as the orange haired man insisted he wanted you to refer to him as. His cheeky smile and big, blue eyes practically lit up the room, he was practically the epitome of visual charisma. And there was his incessant chatter, Scaramouche would say, his non stop talking about something or other. You never had the heart to tell the man you married that Childe actually talked a normal amount and that he was abnormally quiet.

“Have you ever seen a piece of mora straight from Liyue,” he asked rather loudly while holding up the coin, “Shiniest you'll ever see one. Man, those Liyue natives have no idea how lucky they are!”

You smiled alongside the man, also finding the topic interesting. The coin was indeed shiny, the only impurities on it being the fingerprints from Childe's hands. Other than that, it glimmered, making you realize how old and dirty the mora you must've had before was. Scaramouche wasn't impressed at all. He wasn't even paying attention. Quietly sipping his miso soup at the head of the table, his eyes only focused on his meal.

“Want it?” Childe asked you and you tried not to perk up too much, but your excitement was palpable. Seldom did Scaramouche entertain you with conversation or fun gifts. The only thing he'd bring you back from his travels was a single flower and maybe a regional tea to try together, but nothing you typically enjoyed.

“May I take it, my lord?” Pleading eyes looked at your husband who seemed more irritated than usual.

He let out a sigh, dropping his chopsticks in frustration, “Will it make the both of you shut up?”

Harsh words were nothing new to you, but you had to admit that those eyes of his made you freeze up like stone. No matter how many days you spent married to him, you never grew less afraid of your husband. And you definitely never found yourself coming to love him.

“Yes, my lord,”

He nodded to Childe and the coin was dropped into your hand. You held it as if it were fragile, not wanting to stain the shiny metal anymore than it already was. Your lips formed into a weak smile that you gave to Childe, then another one to Scaramouche who merely nodded at your display of joy, seemingly disinterested.

His chopsticks were picked up, a sign that he wished for dinner to continue on. You picked up yours as well. Your months of living with your spouse meant you had plenty of time to practice. Little leeway was given to you when it came to what you ate with, and despite the fact that you were originally from Mondstadt, you were given chopsticks with every meal. Time and practice made you grow accustomed to them, that and the fact that Scaramouche wouldn't allow you to eat with anything else. Learn to eat with them or starve, he told you. And you did grow terribly hungry.

Childe was more of a special case. He apparently lacked dexterity in hands. You saw it in the way he struggled to use the bow he was hell bent on learning and in the way he struggled to use chopsticks. Throughout the course of the meal, he'd already dropped three pairs, fumbling them dramatically like a character in a comedy play. Each time he'd lose a pair to gravity, leaving the wooden sticks on the floor, he'd look at his barely touched meal. The tragic, almost hopeless look on his face would elicit a laugh from you, followed by Scaramouche shooting you a very knowing glare. He'd sent you to your room without dinner many times before and for much less. Those glares were a good warning to shut up.

“Man! I can't seem to figure out how you eat with these things,” the orange haired male was holding one stick in either hand, instead using them to stab through the food and bring it to his lips. You held back your laughter again, instead forcing yourself to swallow more of your meal.

You had a crush on Childe. Maybe it was because of how kind he actually was or maybe it was because he was the only man you'd seen outside of your lawful husband in a year, but you did like him. He was funny, strong, and most importantly very attractive. Blue eyes and orange hair, a smile that could make a girl swoon with perfectly straight, white teeth. His voice was sultry, smooth like fine dark liquor, but he also knew when to be funny. His sense of humor was more comical to you than Scaramouche's dry humor or snide remarks. You liked Childe. Way more than you wanted to admit.

After dinner was a free time for you. From the time the plates were clean, until it was time for you to go to bed, you were allowed to wander the manor and do what you want. During this period, Scaramouche would be off doing what he pleased. Typically leaving the house to enjoy his night walks, where he'd be gone for hours. It was truly your only time of peace in hell he called home. It was also the only time you could talk to Childe when he came to visit. The two of you would spend the hours just telling each other whatever, it was mostly just you listening to him tell of his travels across all seven nations as you longed for the perceived freedom he had.

Much to your dismay he was nowhere to be found after dinner. You felt stupid searching the house looking for him. The interest towards him was likely one sided and on the slim chance it wasn't, you knew that nothing would happen between the two of you. Yet you looked for him. He was still good for conversation.

Find him you did, at the end of the second floor hallway, but not in the way you thought you would. Steam clouded around the door as he exited the bathroom, a towel was wrapped around his hips, orange pubic hair peeking out from it. His bare chest was covered in scarring, some old and healed, some visibly fresh. His skin was still moist with bathwater, his hair clinging to his face and dripping more down on him. He looked like a piece of art, a statue standing at the end of the hall, toweling his hair with his eyes closed. But then they opened.

You tried to turn on your heels and walk away before he spotted you gawking at him, but quick reflexes were expected of a harbinger. He saw you before you could even manage to take one step back.

“Oi! I was looking for you!” He called, stopping you in your tracks. You did everything in your power to avoid looking at him. That toned, firm body of his was practically begging you to gaze upon it.

“Please find me again when you're more decent, Lord Childe,”

He immediately recognized the forced stiffness of your words and scoffed, a look of disbelief forming on his features, “Since when do you refer to me as Lord, huh?” he was still smiling. Despite his undress, he wasn't the least bit shy.

Your mind shifted to your husband. Unwilling of a bride as you might have been, he made sure you were fully committed to him. He once commented on how much you smiled at his fellow harbinger and your blood went cold. Of course he noticed. Scaramouche was nonchalant, quietly observing everything around him, but he wasn't stupid. You know better than to think your little crush was well hidden, he was just giving you a warning in advance.

“I think we should start being more professional around each other,” you strained the words out, watching his face fall from his normal smile. It felt painful saying these things to him, but it was better for your safety and his.

“So we're not having our talks anymore?” He whined cutely, even pouting his lips a little, “I was looking forward to telling you about my stay in Mondstadt,” it was as if he knew exactly how to hold your attention. Lingering on every single syllable to make sure you knew he was speaking of your home, convincing your already weak will to falter, “and the wine I brought with me.” If he had you on his hook by mentioning Mondstadt, then the notion that he'd brought wine with you was all he needed to reel you in.

Hailing from the city of freedom, you were no stranger to a good drink. You remembered your first glass better than you remembered most things even your first kiss. Your first drink was like a rite of passage for Mondstadt and typically, the first liquor you tasted, became your vice. You were no different than your mother or your grandmother, the drink handed down from generation to generation, and your fondness was felt for dandelion wine. A sweet delicacy only found in the city of freedom, an unassuming drink that'd knock you flat on your ass if you didn't take it seriously enough.

But Scaramouche wasn't a fan of sweet things. He wasn't a fan of much, seeing as very little could even get a smile from him, but he had a special hatred in his heart for anything sugary. His taste leaned more towards the bitter, which was like hell for you.

Sake was never your drink of choice. There was plenty of it in Mondstadt, if there was one thing that your city could do right, it was import drinks from all over Teyvat. But just because it was there, didn't mean you ever drank it. Sake was a drink that tasted wrong to you. The harsh, bitter flavor left a terrible feeling inside your mouth that wouldn't leave no matter how much you tried. So of course, it was the favorite of Scaramouche. The disgusting taste matched his disgusting personality. And when you were permitted to drink, which was rare, you were given sake.

“Dandelion?” You questioned hopefully.

“Dandelion,” he affirmed. He was still using his hands to hold his towels, instead using his head to gesture to his room door, telling you to follow him inside. And you did.

You were tense as you sat down on his bed. Tense when you were handed a cup and told to hold it while you waited for him. Tense as he stepped into his closet to dress himself, still coming out in only pants, but no shirt, telling you that his hair was still wet to wear one. But all that tension melted away when he pulled that familiar green bottle from his bag, pouring you a glass of that rich, yellow wine.

The first sip took you back to your family's home. To a festival in Mondstadt, which was just one of the city's many excuses to drink more. The second took you back to a bar you favored, drinking competitions were held through the night, you always won. There was a part of you that just wanted to down the whole glass, drink it all as you'd done before and request another glass before that sweet taste ever left your tongue. But you saw that he'd only brought one bottle, you had to savor this glass.

“It's yours, if you want it,” Childe spoke softly while holding the wine up, he hadn't even poured himself a singular glass of it, “You just have to do one thing for me.”

Big, doe eyes looked up at him as you practically pleaded with him, “What?”

“Tell me how you really feel about me,”

He could've asked you to do a handstand on the roof of the house during a thunderstorm and that would've been much easier. For so long, your feelings for Childe were just thoughts. You could push them to the back of your mind and pretend they didn't exist. If they weren't real, your husband wouldn't hurt you. He wouldn't punish you. And knowing Scara's jealousy, if he knew you had feelings for another and not him, no one would be safe.

“I won't tell,” he spoke again, a gentle hand coming down and stroking his cheek. His fingers were still warm from his bath, still slightly damp to the touch, the way they cling to your face was assuring.

“I'm married,” you said, “Not just to anyone, but your superior. He's nobody that we should be toying with like this.”

“Who says I'm ‘toying’ with anyone? I wouldn't be asking if I didn't have feelings for you as well,”

Your quick beating heart stilled in your chest for a moment, you lingered on every word. Did you make it up? Did he really say what you thought he did? Silence fell over the room as you contemplated what he said. If he liked you as well, he never showed it. Yet, he'd have no way to. Scaramouche seemed to be around every corner.

“I…like you,” saying the words solidified it. His hair, his smile, his voice, even the way he smelled, you liked it all.

You liked him so much you let him place the bottle of wine in your hands. You let him lean over and place a hand on your shoulder, so close to your face his still dripping hair was wetting your forehead. You let his nose brush against yours, you let him sigh against your lips, you let him close the distance between the two of you and sink into a kiss.

Your mind was a blank, empty room as you kissed Childe. You really kissed him. Kisses with Scaramouche felt like he was trying to swallow you whole, trying to own you, not cherish you. But Childe's admittedly cold, chapped lips were caressing yours. His hand that managed to slither around your waist, holding you like he didn't want to let you go, his other hand squeezing your chest. You wondered if he could feel your heart beating. If he could, you wanted his to be beating the same way.

A bell made you break away from the kiss with a gasp like you were about to be killed. Because you were. That wasn't just any bell. It was the chime of the bell above the main door. The one that signified that it was opening. The one that meant Scaramouche was home.

Biting back the urge to throw up, you tossed the wine on his bed and raced from the room. You didn't want to look back at Childe once. Not after the mistake you'd made with him. Lust was clouding your mind, it had to be keeping you from thinking properly. That was the only excuse you could make while you cursed yourself mentally, simultaneously begging that he wasn't aware of what you'd done.

At the foot of the stairs, his large hat still on his head and a grimace on his face, was Scaramouche. His indigo eyes looked you up and down, noticing the way you trembled and panted like you’d run a marathon.

“Where were you?” He asked, tossing his hat to the side. It fell to the floor with a clatter and was easily ignored by him, “Have you forgotten your duties? You know when I'm supposed to be home.”

“I apologize, my lord!” You tried to stop your voice from shaking.

“Well?”

You looked at him dumbfounded as he walked past you up the stairs.

“Aren't you going to tell me why you were late and huffing like a fool at that?”

“I fell asleep, my lord. And once I noticed I was behind, I raced to try to meet you at the door, but it appears I was too late,”

A mere hum from him was your response. Which was good enough, it meant he had nothing harsh to say. As the two of you entered the privacy of your room together, you felt him hug you from behind. Little did he touch you meaninglessly, which meant he wanted to go farther, his soft lips kissing the back of your neck told you enough.

“I'm only so hard on you because I care about you,” he whispered into your ear. Him being sweet you felt worse knowing what you did with Childe just a few short moments earlier.

But still, you ended up lying back on the bed, naked and nestled in the mountain of pillows. Scaramouche thrusting into your hole above you, eyes clenched shut in pleasure. He was fucking you into a mating press, your knees against your chest, causing you to only take shallow breaths. It was a personal favorite of his since it meant he could sink every inch of his cock into you, while still watching your face.

You kept silent as he fucked you, only letting out a few gasps or whines as he hit particularly sensitive spots inside you or thrusted too deep. You didn't enjoy sex with him, it was always something you didn't want, and he wasn't going to make you pretend. Scaramouche was going to do it with you regardless, it was about his own pleasure.

During the act you'd normally be lost in your own world, trying to pay attention to anything, but the way he was rutting his hips into you, it made the time go by quicker. The closet, the clock on the wall, the way the bed squeaked, the crack in the door. The crack in the door where Childe stood, watching in the darkness of the hallway.

It took you a moment to realize what you were seeing and you had to convince yourself still that you weren't imagining it. Orange hair, deep, blue eyes, shirtless and strangely with a tent growing in his pants. Childe stood in the doorway watching, out of view of Scaramouche who either had his eyes closed or stayed focusing on your face.

You went to cover yourself, but realized that that would draw your husband's attention to the other man. You couldn't say anything, not without fear of Childe getting hurt in the process. You felt scared, neverous, a little violated, but when you saw him slide a large hand down and palm his growing length through the fabric of his pants, you began to feel almost aroused.

Sick. Sick in the head, you called yourself mentally as your eyes stayed focused on the man watching from the hallway. But you still placed your hands on your breasts, tweaking your nipples and mewling out softly. You didn't know what came over you to make you do such a thing, but knowing that Childe could see you made you want to do more than just lie there. Scaramouche was immediately surprised by you making any noise of pleasure at all and quickened his already brutal pace. But it felt good for once. It felt nice. You could feel yourself growing wetter, your cunt finally sucking him in and welcoming him.

“You're rather receptive tonight,” he grunted out with a smirk and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes at his confidence.

“I…I suppose it feels better than usual, my lord,” you locked eyes with him, until he clenched his shut from the pleasure once more. Then you looked back at Childe. He'd long since freed his cock from his pants, stroking his long thick length. It was big. That was all you could think as you watched him, how you wished that it was his big cock inside of you, but you could pretend. Pretend that it was him on top of you instead of your husband.

Mewling and moaning louder than you ever had before, making noises you didn't even know you could, your legs were pressed harder against your chest, opening yourself up for him to go even deeper. You were dripping at this point, your wetness sliding down to your ass. But Childe was dripping as well. His cock was leaking precum, coating his hand in a lube that he was using to stroke himself at the same pace that Scara was going inside you.

“Ah! Yes….yes! Fuck me harder!” You'd never begged for more like this before, but who was he to question it, he'd never know that your cries were for another. He was enjoying how wet you felt around him, how you were moving your hips to match his pace inside you. He merely panted and did as he was told, his cock thrusting into you in deep, long, hard, strokes, each one having you see stars.

“I'm finishing inside, my love,” he cooed, pressing a kiss against your lips. You nodded, locking your legs around his hips. A move you'd never done in all the times he'd slept with you and something that made him gasp out in pleasure.

It only took a few more thrusts before he held his cock balls deep inside you, you could feel the length twitching as he filled you with seed. Each shot of his hot ejaculate hitting your walls and making your whimper. Light kisses were pressed against your forehead as the two of you were locked together. His cum and your honeyed wetness dripping from your hole.

When he pulled out, you kept your legs up a little longer, making sure Ajax saw every drop of his cum dripping from you. Your still needy twitching cunt, filled with a load, your delicate fingers rubbing your clit in slow circles while he watched. Your soft gasps and pants, trying not to draw Scara's attention while he was cleaning himself up in the connected bathroom. Both of you, putting on a show for each other. Him stroking his length from the base to the tip slowly, extenuating every inch and you dipping your fingers into your filled hole.

He continued jerking his cock while he watched you, nothing was said or spoken between you two, but your eyes conversated enough. This was pure desire. It was need. And when you came, it was for him. Your hips stuttered and bucked off the bed, toes curling almost painfully.

Childe came with you. Watching you finish while looking at him was more than enough. His hand was pressed against the door, scratching at the wood, begging to be let in so he could finish inside you as well, like he knew you wanted him to. But he didn't. His cock sprayed rope after rope of cum onto the floor of the hallway in front of him. His toned chest heaving as he watched himself make this mess.

You longed to lick it up, not just the cum, but his still aching cock. You wanted to clean it with your mouth, to suck it the way your husband made you. You knew he wanted more. But Scaramouche was already out of the bathroom, a towel in hand. He began cleaning you up between your legs, eyes seeming a little softer than normal while he did. A look that wasn't normal for him.

“You did well tonight,” he praised you. Fond words you'd never heard from him before, but likely because he had no idea why you were putting on such a show.

“Thank you, my lord,” you replied sheepishly, looking back up to the crack in the doorway, Childe was gone. It was better this way though. Better that he leave now than accidentally get the attention of your husband.

“I'll think of a reward for you tomorrow, but rest for now,” the candles were blown out and he laid next to you. A protective arm was wrapped around your waist as you lay on your back, trying to regulate your heartbeat.

Realization hit you like a truck, forming a sickening pit in your stomach. It was only now that you'd realized what you'd done and fear and worry were taking over. If Scara were to find out, he'd kill you. He'd do worse than kill you you supposed, ending your life would be much too easy

And you could only imagine what'd happen to Childe next.

You lay on your back in that inky black, pitch darkness, eyes trying to adjust to the light. You were feeling regretful, but you'd also never felt such a thrill in your entire life. Not since you got married.

[byeolbeloved]

Letters to Cupid -Kang Yeosang

Pairings> soldier!yeosang x typist!reader

Genre> childhood friends to strangers to lovers, angst, fluff, use of flashbacks, slightly suggestive, setting takes place around 18th century

Summary> for centuries, women named cupids worked as typists to write letters on behalf of senders who couldn't write themselves. You were always the writer but never the receiver for a love letter, yearning to be picked up by a knight. What you didn't expect was for this knight to have a familiar set of eyes, only this time lost from the innocence they once had.

Words from pupa : This fic is inspired by the anime Violet Evergarden! Also note that the writings in small italics are meant to be flashbacks. I had so much fun writing this so I really hope you enjoy it <3 The picture is also fanart I made myself hehe so I hope you like that too ^^

The typewriter clicked away, following a warm melody of the woman reminiscing her adventures with the other piece of her that is now battling the screams and horror of man. The warm scenery of her words contrasted the thunderous roars outside. The weather had no mercy on lovers under the moonlight.

"Please tell him I love him and I'll always be waiting for him" the woman said glass eyed. 

She's a gorgeous woman, with light make up and well done hair, although judging from the purple under her eyes you can tell she's had restless nights, tearful even, by her pink nose that was already prominent as she walked through the door. 

You always thought about how hard it must be to have your lover be in the military. You've seen many cases of these couples working as a typist. You had at least 10 letters a day of women writing to their husbands on how badly they miss them, some not knowing their ashes have become part of the land they fight to protect. 

"He will appreciate this letter dearly, Elenor. I will make sure to send it out by Friday" you say with a smile embossing a wax seal on the letter.

"Oh thank you Cupid. I was never good at using the typewriter so when an old friend told me about you I practically came here as fast as I could. It's been a month since he's been away, we've never been separated for this long.." 

"It must be so hard for you both. He'll be just fine El... I see the love in your eyes, he'll come back to them"

Education was a privilege, hence the reason why so many people were illiterate. For centuries women named "Cupids" wrote letters on behalf of senders who weren't able to write to their loved ones themselves or simply didn't know how to express their emotions on paper. It started from a voluntary organisation but has now turned into a whole company, well known throughout the land. 

You were born into the world of literature. Your father was a writer and your mother was a book illustrator. Work being the opening chapter for their own love story. From the moment you were born, books heavily dominated your life. Literally. Because even from the scene of your birth, where your mother delivered you unexpectedly at the house you grew up in, you were wrapped in ripped pages from books- that being the first thing they could grab instead of a blanket at such a chaotic scene of panic. 

You grew up with your mother reading you books and you accompanied your father while he wrote. Although you loved literature, writing your own book wasn't something you saw yourself doing. You much preferred experiencing a realistic event rather than coming up with a story, which is why you fell in love with this job.

You get to write true emotion while hearing another person's story and relationships. And you were clearly good at portraying what people wanted to express as you had tons of people personally asking for you to write for them.

Love; a topic you could rant on and on about. You dreamt about being picked up by a knight, running away from reality just to intertwine in each other's soul.  

However, you weren't such a hopeless romantic as you were very selective with the guys you talked to, let alone dated. No one has ever made you feel like a princess getting saved by the prince. Maybe reality isn't like the books, however, you felt that there must be someone in this lifetime who could make you feel like that.

The night was dark. Dark as the swelling wave of the ocean before the rising winds, when it bends its head near the coast. Rain fell hard against the concrete floor and the wind was so sharp it could cut you. 

The girl shut her eyes, trying to count sheep to calm her heartbeat but the sound of the rain only pictured her sheep drowning in the night alongside her.

"The rain won't get us here" spoke the boy, flashing her a smile that emphasized the pink red mark by his left eye. The red mark he told her was from a kiss from cupid after she pointed out how it looked like a heart. They were under the awning of a closed store.

"The rain is scary Yeosang" she frowned.

"It's only water" he held his hand out to the rain and let it get wet "see? I'm fine" 

"I know but I don't like the noises" 

"Then don't listen to the noises. You can just listen to me" he wiped his wet hand on the side of his pants and grabbed onto hers.

"I will protect you from the rain. I promise I will always hold your hand when it rains Y/N"

“Sorry I��m late, I just finished up with my last client for the day. Did I miss anything?” you place down your coat on the chair back.

“Only Jia swooning over mailman Tony again” Sakura chuckled while sipping her coffee.

“Seriously, when are you going to make a move? He might be single” Maya continued mouthful with a sandwich.

“Oh shush there shall be no romance at work. We have a business relationship and that’s how it’s going to stay. Now let’s get started with the meeting so we can head home before the weather gets worse.” Jia snaps and everyone hides their smiles at her shyness.

“Okay, this meeting is to just remind everyone about plans for next week. We will be accompanying commander Chan- everyone remembers him right? From last year. We will be writing letters for his unit, he has a different unit now. Make sure to pack warm clothes sinc-”

“Since there will be lower temperature in the North” Sakura and Maya said together in a monotone voice. “We’ve done this before Jia we knowww~” Sakura whines.

“Just relax and look out for the hot single soldiers” Maya giggles to Sakura who is now poking at Jia’s side.

“Business! This is business guys! We're going there for work. Plus, these hot guys are depending on us to bring back their messages to their families. No fooling around” Jia makes clear.

Once a year your team will visit military camps to write for soldiers. You’re usually there for 3 days excluding travel. Apart from some of the men being touch starved and looking as if they’ve never seen a woman in their life- most of them are really nice. Last time they even set out a mini farewell and thank you party before your departure.

The crisp sound of snow beneath your feet and cold sensation on your nose definitely woke you up from your nap on the way here. It actually felt quite nice, your surroundings bright from the white snow despite the sun not yet risen and the cold air felt like a splash of water to your face in the early morning. All nice except for the sound of Sakura and Maya’s whines from how their boots weren’t fit for the snow. This is exactly why Jia spent so much time whining about clothing. 

The soldiers shared cabins or tents. You girls too got your own cabin to share- unfortunately quite small so you’ll have to put up with Maya’s snores throughout the night, however big enough for the 4 of you. The main area had its own cabin. That’s where the soldiers mostly hang out and eat. 

As you girls made your way to the main area, commander Chan introduced you to everyone. There seemed to be at least 40 men in there, thankfully all divided into units so it was easier to organise when you’ll be working with who. 

Everyone gave you a warm welcome. You girls spent the first hour chatting with some of them, or you could say flirting for Maya and Sakura, before going into your cabin and unpacking your stuff.

Everyone was really sweet. Two soldiers, a long haired guy with a mole under his eye and another slightly taller than him with a dorito-like physique showed you around the area and let you know the schedule for breakfast, training and lunch. The area was quite open, you could see yourself getting comfortable here as it was very quiet. However, during all this you felt a pair of eyes on you. Though looking around you never saw anyone who could be staring.

“Slow down Yeo! It’s really rocky here” the little girl pants, trying to keep up with the energetic boy in front of her. He’s practically waddling like an excited maltese dog that’s about to get a treat.

“Just a little more, come on!” he grabs onto her hand speeding up her steps, now reaching his pace.

The two youngsters reach the top of the hill, overlooking the dazzling sight of flowers in different shapes and colours spread out across the field. 

The girl lets out a gasp eyes sparkling “This is… what you wanted to show me?”

“What do you think?”

“Yeo this is…. Beautiful” her eyes scan across the field, completely forgetting the distant yelling from her mom she was worrying about 15 minutes ago from why she took so long to get back home after school. 

“It’s gorgeous” says the boy, but he’s not looking at the scenery of flowers. He’s looking directly at her. Swimming in the ocean of her sparkling eyes reflecting the warm colours from the sunset. 

You are gorgeous he thought to himself.

The day was busy. Each unit who was on their breaks got their letters done and even though it was only day one, you managed to get lots done already. It was already pitch black outside and everyone was already tucked into their cabins.

Maybe you were still in work-mode but your body had no intentions to rest as you couldn’t stop tossing and turning in your bunk bed so you decided to take a step outside. You walked over to a corner with bright pink flowers contrasting the white snow, standing tall and so youthful.

“So beautiful…” you whispered, crouching to touch the soft pedals. They look like they have just bloomed. 

“Cyclamen” a deep voice from behind you startles you, letting out a light yelp from you as you turn around quickly. Your yelp almost turns into a loud gasp as you quickly identify the figure owning that deep voice. 

His hair is a light chocolate brown, long enough to be tucked behind his ears but not in a I haven’t thought about cutting my hair type of way- it was well maintained. He was taller than you but not enough so that you’re practically looking up. His body was clearly fit, arm muscles very prominent even from his camo print thick jacket. His skin was pale. So pale it looked like milk. So pale it emphasized the pink mark by his left eye.  

Kang Yeosang.

You had no doubt this was the same boy who used to have thick pitch black hair, sometimes patchy bangs from the self haircut his sister used to give him. The same boy who looked at everyone with sparkly eyes and clapped his hands together when he laughed. 

This was your Kang Yeosang.

“Those flowers are Cyclamen” he said expressionless, hands in his pockets. 

You don’t know if it's the cold air drying your eyes or your overwhelming emotion but you start to feel tears forming, so hot and full of sentiment they almost burn your skin. “Yeosang…?” you whisper but it comes out shaky. 

“They mostly bloom in cold weather” he says, still in the same stance.

“Are there any more flowers around here?” you sniffle out tilting your head.

“I’ve seen snow roses around here before. Would you like to see them with me someday?”

“I’d love to” you said with a smile, now earning a smile from him.

He takes his hands out of his pockets and steps closer to you, pulling you into a hug which you gracefully accept, your arms latching around his neck almost a bit too tight. 

“Hello Y/N” and that's your breaking point. You start sobbing into his chest muffling out I miss yous to which he responds with a hand on your head, caressing it gently. 

“I’m here”

The walk was quiet and heavy. Each step representing minutes lost from each other.

The girl is the first to break the icy silence “can’t you wait at least till next year? We just graduated”

“Y/N this isn’t my choice to make, I don’t have any other choice. It’s what I’m supposed to do” the boy says against his wishes.

“When will I be able to see you again?” the girl now looks at him glass eyed.

“I don’t know” he lowers his head but quickly looks at her holding her hand. “Hey, no matter how long it will take, I will always be here, yea? I promise Y/N”

“Please don’t break that promise Yeo..”

The following days you and Yeosang were practically glued together when you had the time. You caught up on each other's life events and even reminisced about your childhood together. It was almost like you were kids again, except you noticed how serious Yeosang is now.

You don’t expect him to have that same innocence as he had when you were younger. He’s a grown man now and also a soldier. Not a particularly happy go lucky type of job. However, apart from teeth smiles while covering his mouth with his hand, you haven’t heard him laugh yet. You missed it. You missed the days when you both ran around giggling at any little thing. Is that boy you loved, lost?

“But yea, let’s just say leaving a half opened can of soup in a tent for 2 weeks isn’t a great idea” he scratched his head and lightly chuckled.

You laughed at his stories with his cabinmates. So far he has only told you about silly fun stories with his friends, apart from him explaining the basic routine of what they do in training. You were glad he was able to make fond memories as a soldier, especially since you knew how nervous he was joining the military.

But something about you knew that wasn’t all. Has he really been doing well? What about the times he's been in battle? Has he been greatly injured before? Broken a bone maybe? Does he miss his family?

Did he ever think about you?

“Yeo…” you placed your spoon down. The main cabin was far too loud for both of you to have a conversation so you and him chose to stay in his tent for breakfast and dinners. His cabinmates barely stayed there unless it was for sleep so you had all the privacy you wanted. 

“How are you? Really”

“I’m doing well”

“No Yeo, I mean about everything. Do you like it here? Don’t you miss home?”

“Home? Well… Mom occasionally sends letters, I’ve visited sometimes but travel is so long I’d only have a day with them till I have to come back so… I’ve stopped visiting.” How long has it been since he’s had a home cooked meal?

“This definitely isn’t luxury heh, but I’m used to it Y/N. Don’t worry about me, I know what I’m doing here”

“Do you ever think about… me? Us?” immediately his gaze softens to your words. This is probably the first time you’ve seen a genuine expression on his face since being here. His hand is gently placed on your thigh and he brings his face closer to you. 

“Of course Y/N, I told you I’ll always be here. I promised” his eyes burn into your soul and your gaze meets his birthmark. Your finger moves by itself and goes to gently touch it.

“I don’t see you anymore Yeosang… everything is so different”

“I know. It’s hard. This is all very hard but we are going to work this out Y/N” 

Your faces are so close together you can practically taste his breath. His eyes land to your lips and for a second you could see the pupils of his eyes grow. He slowly breaks the space between you and you close your eyes, expecting to feel a touch on your lips�� until he breaks off the moment with a whisper “I want to write a letter.”

“I don’t understand thissssss~ let’s just take a break” 

“We’ve already taken 2 breaks. Here, I started the first step for you, now remember what we did for question 6, it’s basically the same thing” the boy hands her the sheet of paper.

“Yeo I appreciate your help but maybe this is a sign from god that I should just give up on Math” the girl slouches on her seat kicking her feet.

“Math isn’t that hard, you just need to focus. Now come on we still have 5 pages left.”

“5 PAGES!? I might as well throw myself off the window” 

“If you finish this in the next hour” he leans in close to her ear “I might give you a kiss” he leans back to his chair with a smug look on his face.

You’d think the girl wore face paint on her face from the deep red that was now formed. Without a word she picks up a pencil and writes away on her paper. 

“Damn you Yeosang”

Some people get frustrated with slow walkers in front of them, slow drivers or even someone talking way too calmly, but the way Yeosang is working the typewriter makes you want to snatch it from him and do the job yourself.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to write the letter for you?” 

“It’s fine I got this” he continues on with his slow pace.

“Who are you writing that letter to anyway?”

“Just someone”

“Who is just someone?”

“A person I know”

 “Who is this person you know?”

“You don’t know them”

“Pleaseee Yeooo~” you lean in closer to him “I’ll give you a kiss if you tell me who” you giggle remembering his little tactic he used to use on you in school.

“Mmmm I’ll think about it” you huff in frustration and he laughs. 

He laughs. 

Your worries of losing the boy you loved dearly completely vanished as you finally see that innocent boy back. His laugh sounded like the doorbell of a childhood house, where kids would run to see if daddy is home. The last bell ring at school, when kids ran home to show mommy what they drew. The sound of the ice cream truck song amplifying as it rolled up from down the street. The clicking sound of riding your first bike, parents cheering in the background for balancing without training wheels.

He sounded like childhood and you felt like a child again. 

In what felt like forever, Yeosang finished his letter. Sealing the paper into an envelope ready to be read by this mystery person you so badly wanted to know. 

“Okay I’ll take it and make sure to send it out. Make sure to write the address.” you reach your hand out but he doesn't move.

“Oh no I want to keep it”

“What?”

“I want to keep the letter.”

“What do you mean? Don’t you want to send it to that person?”

“Not yet.”

 “We can withhold it and send it at any given time you want”

“It’s fine, I’ll send it myself”

Him protecting this letter made you even more curious as to who it was for. Surely he didn’t just write something for fun. Who was this friend? Was it a girl? Or possibly a lover? Surely not. Especially not when he almost just kissed you a while ago. 

He promised. You’re just overthinking. Right?

It was your last day with the soldiers. You only had a couple of letters to finish and by nightfall you and the girls were set off to travel back home. Absolute no bone in your body wanted to go back home. This meant being separated from Yeosang again and you weren’t ready to let him go yet, you only just reunited with him.

“Y/N, you have a visitor waiting” Maya points to the door, only to see Yeosang waiting for you. 

“I have a few more letters to write th-” you’re shushed by Maya when she lightly shoves you out of the room “Don’t worry, we got this, you go enjoy your last moments with lover boy” she whispers the last part although Yeosang surely heard judging by the way he looked away.

“Ooo he’s a shy lover boy too” Maya says before closing the door, you can still hear her giggles through the wall as you’re now left alone with Yeosang.

“Shall we go?” he quietly says. 

“Yeah, where are we going?” 

“You’ll see”

The two of you slowly walk side by side, occasionally bumping the sides of your arms. There isn’t much talking but the silence is comfortable. Almost too comfortable that you forget this is the last time you get to examine his features before the final goodbye for god knows how long it will be again.

You’re snapped out of your thoughts when Yeosang hands you a big white flower, a snow rose. “This is the snow rose I told you about” he said with a smile gently handing it over to you.

“Yeos-”

“Marry me Y/N”

What.

Time stops for a second. A long second. Even the birds stop chirping and the wind halts. You aren’t sure what just happened but your heart knows for sure that it’s a big deal as it beats so hard, destined to break out of you and reach his own, intertwining with his and merging into one. 

“What did you say?” you mutter quietly.

In contrast with your tone, Yeosang is confident. His chin is up high, shoulders back and there's a look in his eyes that show no sign of hesitation. 

“I want you to marry me Y/N” he takes a step closer, and another, and another, till you’re now backed up into the rough surface of a tree.

“I’m going to make this work, I’ll find a way to leave this place if I have to but Y/N, I can’t let you go again.” he cups your face gently and swipes his thumb across your cheek “I’m done keeping promises and making you wait, I want to be with you Y/N, only you” he rests his forehead against yours.

“Come home to me Yeosang” you breathe onto his lips before locking them together. 

Your lips dance together so full of passion and need it almost feels as if your bodies are intertwining into one. You feel his small smile through the kiss as you deepen it, locking your hands in his hair while his explores the sides of your body.

Cold air hits your belly as he lifts up your shirt to slide his hand against your skin, caressing your chest. If you weren’t so lost in the kiss you would have noticed that he was practically spelling his name across your chest with his hand movements.

Remembering that you both need to breathe, he’s the first to break the kiss. You’re both a panting mess but he manages you let out a chuckle “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Yes in every language Yeosang. I will marry you” you smile out taking in his lips once again.

You asked for a rose, but Yeosang gave you a whole garden.  

Two years later

“Tell me Cupid, what should I tell her? I’m so scared. What if she’s waiting for another man?” the man from across you says, blowing his nose into his now 8th tissue in the past 10 minutes.

“Sir Walker, you clearly love her right?”

“Yes! Oh heavens more than anything, I-I’d kill for her, I’d crawl on my knees for he-” he sighs taking a breath “I don’t imagine a life without her”

“Then fight for her” you say softly.

“She’s lands away from me Cupid! How will I be a man to her if I cant even reach for her?”

“Make that happen. You said you would kill and crawl for her. Put actions to your words Sir Walker and show her you love her. You are living in the same lifetime, right here, right now, don’t regret your choices and lose her. She needs to see you fight for her” 

The man breaks down but looks up at you again, composing himself before saying “Have you experienced love Cupid?”

“Everyone experiences love. If not now, one day, just as you wait for love, there is another person waiting for the same. Everyone has someone awaiting them” you softly smile. 

“I’ll do it. Tell her I’m coming to get her. I’m not sure when but from today onwards, she will be my focus” the man lets out a broken smile. Broken yet mendable.

“She will be waiting for you Sir Walker” you say before typing away, a paragraph that awaits a new chapter for the couple.

Your night ends with that heartfelt love story. You hope the best for the couple and your heart nearly breaks with his as you also can’t help but think about your person you are waiting for. 

The weather outside is mean. Almost in hopes of drowning man in its rage. The thunder roars and you’re left counting sheep in your head- something you’ve been doing ever since you were a kid to calm down. 

As you’re walking out of the building Jia calls you from behind “Y/N you have a letter!”

She runs up to you and hands you the letter. “Who is this from?” you ask as you’ve never received a letter before. 

“Hm not sure” she looks into a room, clearly distracted by something, or someone as you look at the direction only to see the famous mailman who has been working here years before you joined the company- Tony.

“Um yea I’ll see you tomorrow Y/N I gotta go, bye! Let me know who that letter is from!” she says from a distance practically skipping her way to Tony,

You don't get the chance to even reply to her before she's gone. You look at the letter and there is no address to indicate where it was sent from, which could only mean this letter must have been dropped off by the sender here at the company.

You walk out the building, still sheltered from the awning covering you. Your steps are heavy, unable to move.

It's fine Y/N let's take this slow you thought to yourself deciding to just stand there for a while before making your way home.

You curiously open the letter and start reading it;

Dear Y/N,

How are you? I am writing this letter to you while you are right next to me. I hope you’re not mad about almost kissing you and asking to write a letter instead. It’s just that I wanted to capture my feelings towards you at this given moment, so we can hopefully both look back at this letter.

You asked me if I liked it here. I don’t. I hate the feeling of knowing every movement I make can be my last, and that I won’t be able to say my final goodbye to you. I hate that I go to sleep at night, responsible for another lost man from his lover. I wish I could be able to come home from work and tell you about my day. But what can I tell you? About how many screams I heard? How bloody my hands are after every battle? 

You asked me if I think about you. My answer is yes. Painfully yes. I always think about what you could be doing at any time. If you found yourself love. I worry everytime it rains, do you have anyone to hold your hand during thunderstorms? I force myself to repeat your voice in my head because I’m so afraid of forgetting what you sound like. I always remember about the day I took you to the flower field. You looked so beautiful in that moment. So everytime I find a flower, I make sure to stop and admire it, pretending it’s you. Because to me, you are far more beautiful than any flower out there. 

I will come home to you Y/N. I promised I would be there. I promised to hold your hand. And I will fulfil my promises, even if it means fighting for my life. 

Wait for me my love.

Love,

Yeosang. 

“Damn you Yeosang” you chuckled out, a crack in your voice causing tears to slip out. You look up to the sight of the man in reason for these tears. He’s still wearing his uniform, hat covering half his face. He seems to have gotten bigger in physique too. He drops his hat and you smile widely at the sight of his birthmark, now holding smiling eyes.

“It’s raining” he said, reaching out a hand “I’m here to hold your hand.”

You completely ignore the extended hand and crash your body into his for a tight hug. An embrace with no chance of him slipping out. 

“You came home” you said into his chest.

“I came to stay” 

“And to hold my hand” 

“And to hold your hand” he laughs out.

Yeosang was your childhood. Yeosang is your home.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

i was re-reading hbp for all the hinny moments coz I am an ardent hinny shipper, but also like...ginny was being such a dickhead ? she called her brother 'not so down to earth' and said he only went for fleur to have some 'adventure' ? calling fleur a cow, another name for nose boogers and whatnot, mimicking her, thinking herself superior to hermione coz the latter understand quidditch. yeah ngl she was quite a mess in the sixth book. but i still like her coz of her bravery and resilience. but do you think she was being a pick me or just an angsty teen ?

I really don't think I'm the person to ask because I'm biased. My bias is that I don't like Ginny, never did and I don't like Hinny. Like whatever you like, these are my opinions and how I read their characters.

I don't like her behavior in HBP, but I didn't like her before that or after that.

Like, I think there are some of JKR's own opinions that made it into Ginny and Hermione. Both of them have a bit of pick me not like other girls' behavior. With Hermione constantly putting down Lavender and Parvati for being girly girls. Hermione, too, makes fun of Fleur and dislikes her just as much as Ginny does. She also sends birds to attack Ron after she sees him with Lavender, even though they weren't dating that point. That was so mean and for no fucking reason, Hermione, Ron didn't cheat on you, the relationship is just in your head if you don't tell him anything.

It's part of why I also find Hermione annoying. The difference is that, to me, Hermione has more redeaming qualities than Ginny.

I'm not saying Ginny isn't resilient or brave, but I don't see her as the brightest. Now, contrary to many Ginny haters, I don't mind her temper (I mean I like Harry) I like hot-heads, but the combination of all her traits and how she's written just really puts me off since all she is written to be is Harry's love interest. And I can't like a character like that.

Hermione has other things going for her except being a pick-me girl/Ron's love interest. She's also a know-it-all nerd. She is loyal and clever, and she has a personality that was developed on her own. She is her own person, and even if I'm not the biggest fan of who Hermione is as a person, I think she is written well for her part in the story.

Ginny, on the other hand, gets interested in Quidditch because of Harry. She starts dating guys in her 4th and 5th years in an attempt to make Harry jealous. She implies her entire personality glow-up in book 5 was for Harry's sake. Her entire character revolves around Harry in a way that makes her not feel like a person on her own. Even worse, she isn't written competently as a love interest, which is practically the only thing she is in books 5, 6 and 7.

As she is written, she comes off as obsessed with dating Harry to a degree I personally find gross.

To me, the fact she says she does what she does (dating guys, Quidditch, her entire personality) for the purpose of dating Harry:

“I never really gave up on you,” she [Ginny] said. “Not really. I always hoped. . . . Hermione told me to get on with life, maybe go out with some other people, relax a bit around you, because I never used to be able to talk if you were in the room, remember? And she thought you might take a bit more notice if I was a bit more — myself.”

(HBP, 647)

(Yes, this awful advice came from Hermione, hence why I consider her kind of a pick-me too)

And that she's at her worst when she thinks Harry might find Fluer attractive. Yeah, I think she is most definitely a pick-me girl of one of the worst sorts.

Ginny, in my opinion, is the epitome of: "I'm not like other girls". So much so that she feels the need to never cry or complain around Harry so he wouldn't think she cries a lot like Cho:

He chanced a glance at her. She was not tearful; that was one of the many wonderful things about Ginny, she was rarely weepy. He had sometimes thought that having six brothers must have toughened her up.

(DH, 103)

(It doesn't help that I don't like Hinny because of how Ginny is written and how little regard Harry actually has for her compared to characters even like Luna. I mean, the nicest thing he says about her is that she's brave and not weepy. Ginny and Harry always gave me the impression of Ron and Lavender — lots of making out, no actual substance. In Hinny's case, I got way more of an ick because of the more obsessive undertones and Ginny's whole vibe in the later books)

[littlemelaninfics]

Hii I’m pretty new to 9-1-1 and caught up in like a month lol!

Since you right for Black girls, can you write something about Buck confiding in Hen and Karen or even Athena about being with a black woman? Love your work!🖤

I love that for you! It’s an easy watch, but it’s so intense 👀

Thank you so much for this request! I had a lot of fun with it and I hope readers can relate 🤍

I see a time when Buck and Hen get drunk again with Karen and the topic of hair is brought up:

“So many products! There’s rejuvenating, hydrating…curl quenching? Don’t they all do the same thing?” Buck asked with his eyes squinted, half with curiosity and half due to the blood running to his face.

“Absolutely not!”

“No!” Karen and Hen exclaimed, stepping on each others words,

“Hair that contains melanin requires much more care. One day it’s soft and bouncy and the next it’s dry and brittle like a birds nest,” Karen explained.

“Hence,” Hen said as she lazily pointed to her bald head and poured another shot.

“Yeah…but…”

“But?” Hen asked choking down the contents of her glass

“She won’t let me help her with it. I mean..Taylor a-and Abby loved when I played in their hair-“

“You didn’t tell her that, did you?” Karen interrupted.

“Of course,” Buck replied confidently looking slightly to the side as if the conversation turned argument was replaying in his head.

“Noo, Buck,” she said putting her head on the table.

“A-a-and she got sooo mad!”

“First of all, women don’t like to hear about what the women before her enjoyed,” Hen started to explain,

“It makes her think you’re still thinking about them,” Karen said in agreement.

“I-I’m not! Not at all!” Buck tried his best to defend himself, but the drinks were staring to hit faster and faster.

“Second of all, Black women have never been allowed to think her hair is enough,” Hen continued but she could tell she was losing Buck,

“Meaning, she’s always been told it’s too wild or too nappy. So the thought of someone “playing” in our hair makes our skin crawl,” she said matter of factly.

“So then I just never touch her hair?”

“No, Buck. You need to break down that wall with her that has been up since before grade school. Watch what she does, look up YouTube videos if you have to, but it’s more than what you think.”

“Is it cause I’m white?” He hated asking the question, but he wouldn’t know the answer if he didn’t. When Karen and Hen just took sips from their cups, Buck slumped in his chair, sighing in defeat.

“It’s different for both of you. Why do you think we’re even talking about it…with you?”

He propped his head in his palm, looking at the wet ring stained in the wood table. Hen and Karen were right. Buck is not completely out of touch and should’ve known it was more than he was understanding.

He begged his friends to crack open their laptop and share enlightening stories about their hair journeys. That night he studied Black Hair Care as much as he could. Since he’s only touched her hair during a movie or sexual activity, he found her texture is 3C with a 3B framing and 4B crown. He spotted her favorite products by the color of the label and airdropped himself articles he wanted to revisit. Karen couldn’t help but feel mushy as she finally understood the scope of the love Buck has for Y/N and she couldn’t be happier.

He sobered up over the next couple of hours and ordered his Uber home. On the ride, he couldn’t help but imagine the direction their relationship was about to go, smiling to himself gently. He walked through the front door hearing the shower run and decided to shed his street clothes into something more comfortable. Once he had been home for 15 minutes and Y/N still wasn’t out of the shower, he knew she was taking an Everything Shower.

Buck got up and went to the hall closet, picking up her hair basket. He started to get intimidated when actually handling the products and Denman Brush, but that quickly changed to excitement when he remembered she still has to teach him, no matter what. He heard the shower turn off and wet patting across the hardwood. Buck went over her whole routine in his head and anticipated you walking down the stairs.

You rounded the corner and was meant with waiting eyes,

“Hi,” Buck said with his famous grin.

“Hi,” you replied looking at him and then your hair stuff out and displayed,

“What are-”

“Um, come sit,” he said plopping back on the couch. You looked at the two pillows stacked on the floor between his legs,

“Buck…” you said unsure.

“I’ve already learned how to love all of you. Let me learn how to take care of all of you.”

Tears welled in your eyes as you slowly crossed the floor panels. You knew you weren’t just walking to get your hair done. You were taking steps into your future with a man who wanted every bit of you.

[companionjones]

But He's Married (1/4)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Fandoms: Marvel, MCU

Summary: You meet a guy at a party.

Warnings: *Spoilers* Abusive relationship

1/2/3/4

*******

It was 11pm at a house-warming get-together that your friends Nat and Wanda had thrown you. It was really sweet of them, but honestly, you couldn't wait until everyone was gone and you had your new place to yourself again. You wanted to go to sleep.

"Hey, are you alright?" A man came through the crowd to where you were sitting alone on the couch.

You smiled. "Huh? Yeah. I'm okay. Just a little tired," you admitted.

He nodded. "I know how you feel. Me too. Is it okay if I sit?"

Not minding at all, you gestured to the spot next to you.

The man took a seat. "Yeah. This party's fun and everything, but I'm just more of a home body, I guess."

"Me too!" you related. "But I'm feeling a little less at home now with all these people here."

A look of surprise took over the man's face. "You're Y/n! This party is for you!"

"It is!" You laughed a little at his realization.

He then cringed, "Aw, I'm sorry you're not having fun at your own party. That sucks."

"It's not that bad," you lessened, "I'm very thankful that I have the friends that threw me this party. I'm just--"

"Exhausted," the man finished with you. He continued, "I got that." I had a long day at work today. I didn't really feel like going out."

You nodded. "Where do you work?"

"Stark Security," he answered without a second thought. "You?" He took a sip from his drink.

"The book store over on 3rd and South? I don't know if you know it--"

He almost choked on his beer. "I love going there! Have they got Kelly Pike's new book yet? How have I not seen you there?"

You started to laugh at his enthusiasm. It was adorable. "Well, to answer your first question, I believe her book came in earlier today. And the reason why you haven't seen me there is because I started yesterday. I just moved here. Hence the house-warming party?" You gestured around you.

The man grew sheepish. "Right. I guess I should've put that together..."

You smiled, "No, it's alright. So, what do you do at--"

"James?"

There were so many emotions that crossed his face when he heard what was apparently his name. Guilt, annoyance, even anger. You wondered what could've sparked all that when you turned your head to a very pissed off woman marching through the crowd.

James stood up. You did the same after a second of confusion.

"Shannon!" he greeted with a forced-happy tone. "You found me!"

"What do you mean 'found you'? Were you hiding from me?"

"No, that's not what I was sayi--"

"Who are you?" Shannon turned toward you venomously.

"Y/n L/n," you returned immediately, not trying to anger her further. You offered your hand for her to shake, but you brought it back down to your side when all she did was glare at it. "How do you two know each other?"

James looked as if he was going to say something but Shannon beat him to it. "I'm James' wife."

"Wife." You didn't know why you repeated that. You glanced at James, but he just offered you an apologetic look before Shannon pulled him away from you. She was muttering something about 'going home because this place is trashy'.

The rest of the party filed out pretty soon after that. You tried not to think that it was because of the small scene Shannon had caused.

One of the last guests to leave was a man named Steve. Apparently, he was close friends with James.

"Yeah. Bucky and I go way back," he told you.

"Bucky?" you wondered aloud.

Steve explained the nickname was from James' middle name: Buchanan.

"I saw you met Shannon too," the blond pointed out. "Word of advice: Don't pay much attention to her. Her bark is far worse than her bite." With that, Steve bid goodbye to you, Wanda, and Nat, and left for the night.

"You two don't have to stay to help clean up. It's pretty late." You offered to your two best friends when they started picking up trash.

Natasha clicked her tongue. "Don't start with that. We basically forced you to throw this party. We're staying."

"Of course we're staying," continued Wanda. "When else would we talk to you about McSteamy you were chatting up in the corner!"

Nat started chuckling.

The comment threw you through a loop. You felt your cheeks heat up. "We weren't in the corner..."

Wanda gasped, "So you admit you were chatting him up!"

"Well, I was..." you started.

Natasha's chuckles turned into full-out laughing.

"...But then I found he's married," you completed hastily.

Shaking her head, Wanda sypathized, "Poor, poor girl..."

Nat finished for her, "What have you gotten yourself into?"

*******

Author's Note: Thank you so much for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it. I would also really appreciate a comment, if you have the time. If you would like to read more, check out my masterlist. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you! <3 <3 <3

[soufcakmistress]

new love on the near northside

A/N: haters that ruin the fun will get blessed out and blocked! find someone else to play with, tysm :) this is for all the sydcarmy truthers like me who’ve been in a spiral for two years

Pairing: Sydney Adamu x Carmen Berzatto

“All right chefs, we need to fire four prime ribs, two lobster risottos, and four cream puffs!”

“Yes, Chef!”

“Marcus, 86 the mascarpone for the cherry tart on 20!”

“Heard, chef!”

“Okay I need to see hands!”

The waitstaff gingerly grab the plated dishes from the final station, while Carmy is gently yet firmly reminding them not to smudge the plates as they’re being taken to their respective tables. Dinner service is in an awesome groove right now and Syd is feeling confident tonight. She’s still riding on a high from the last food critic that visited from the Chicago Tribune, who raved over her braised short rib and orzo pasta. There are also other reasons for Syd’s good mood.

“Open your legs, Syd..”

Syd shudders, takes three deep breaths and continues to fire off orders from the expo. The Bear has been packed almost every single night for three weeks. They don’t have much of a waitlist yet, but word of mouth moves quickly in Chicago and the front of house are noticing some repeat customers already.

Carmy joined Syd at the expo, and she can still pick up the scent of his cologne even in the midst of garlic, heavy cream and raw seafood. If she even peeks at him, she’ll lose her train of thought, and that’s the last thing the team needs right now. After having to let go of Josh after his unfortunate episode, her sous Tina has been pulling double time, covering both stations like a champ. She makes a mental note to give her an unbelievable gift and some love this weekend. “How are we doing, Chef? We cool?”

His eyes are so crystal clear and she recollects how he stares through her when they….oh fuck. “Yes, Chef. Runners are getting everything out in a timely manner, and we are turning these tables around. You?”

“Carmy, Carmy, yes—oh!”

Carmy licks and bites his lips and smirks. “Yes Chef. You’re the captain of this ship.” He squeezes her shoulder and goes back to his station as their boucher, Daniela checks in with Carmy about the fat trimmings for their beef.

Fak, Richie and Sweeps were holding down the front since Nat is on maternity leave. Carmy keeps a wallet size photo of his brand new nephew at his station, looking occasionally with a smile. Forty five more minutes before dinner service is over and Syd can finally go puke out back. “Chefs, we’re almost in the clear! Let’s keep up the momentum and sense of urgency!”

“Yes, Chef!”

Every dish is gorgeous. So many painstaking hours reworking the menu. Chaos menu, thoughtful chaos menu, back to chaos menu again. Reviewing and poring over Carmy’s intricate drawings, all the late night sessions, so much money spent on ingredients—it was enough to make Syd’s head spin. Hence why, almost a month since The Bear opened she’s still subsisting on a diet of Tums and Pepto.

She’s eternally grateful for her partners. Nat and Cicero have saved all their asses more times than they can count. Cicero is a hard ass but he adores Carmy and Sugar and has grown to love Syd as well. And of course, the best chef she’s ever had the privilege of working beside is her executive chef, business partner, best friend and now lover.

“Look at you. You’re so wet baby. Fuck—”

~

They’ve managed to keep their love affair under wraps for this long. It’s a struggle not to be able to touch each other when they’re working. Tina and Marcus are too perceptive; they would be found out immediately. Still, Sydney feels like a giddy school girl whenever Carmy corners her in the office as they open the restaurant every morning—both of his hands by her sides keeping her close. He’s so incredibly sexy without even trying and she still gets shy sometimes. He has to pull her chin from her shoulder and make her look at him.

“Don’t run away from me. You know I won’t let you..” And those ocean blue eyes of his again….and his lips are feather light on top of hers. Her knees are ready to buckle and Carmy sensed as much, so he pulls her close to the hardness of his chest and stomach to keep her standing.

She loves how his stubble feels on her chin and cheeks, especially when he drags his mouth down her jaw and lightly sucks on her neck. “Carm, Carm, Carm, oh my god, don’t! If they see me with a hickey when I didn’t have one yesterday, how do I explain that?” Her face is hurting, she’s cheesing so hard.

One hand slides up her chef whites, slipping under her camisole and his agile fingers pinch her nipple while his tongue circles her earlobe. Syd’s learned that Carmy is insatiable. For someone to not be as experienced as he claims—his hands, lips, tongue…always seem to go exactly where she needs them to. “I can’t help it, Chef. You’re just so damn beautiful.”

Syd’s hands roam all over his thick biceps and eventually land in the bushy mess atop his head. Their tongues lave and suck on each other’s and their moans can’t be held back any longer. Carmy pulls her leg up to his hip while he grips her braids, until he hears Marcus and Sweeps come through the back door. They separate quickly and get themselves together. Lusty gazes linger between them and they’re both aching between their legs. Carmy is as red as a beet, and Syd’s lips are swollen from his kisses and nipping. “Right, thank you chef.” Syd walks out first awkwardly with wobbly legs that make Carmy chuckle.

~

Dinner service is over—the kitchen has been scrubbed down, trash taken out, perishables have been stocked away in the lowboys and walk-in, and the back of house staff has skated out. It’s just Carmen and Sydney, in their brand new restaurant. “I’m beat. You got all your stuff right?”

Syd has an overnight bag with everything she needs for a weekend with her babe. “Yes, I do! Are you..ready to go?” Carmy grabs the weekend bag along with her hand and they walk in tandem to his car.

Carmy has been seeing a therapist in addition to the Al-anon meetings and Sydney can tell a difference already. He’s slower to rant and rave and owns up to his mistakes. More eager to hear people out. She’s proud of him—he’s suffered through a lot to make it to this point. They eventually arrive to his apartment and a shower is the first order of business. Syd loves the water pressure at Carmy’s place and taking showers together has been great for their newfound intimacy. They undress each other, Syd pulls her braids up in a high bun, and they just hold each other under the steaming water. This is their time. Away from The Bear. Away from Chicago. Away from the many demands and decisions they’re forced to confront every single day.

Carmy washes her with her pink loofah that’s been made a permanent staple in his bathroom. This is all new to Syd; her heart blooms in her chest at these big feelings she’s experiencing. He’s gentle and doesn’t leave an inch of skin untouched. Syd washes his hair with his expensive shampoo and Carmy’s eyes close in ecstasy. They needed this tenderness. They deserved it.

All cleaned up and fresh, they mosey back to the kitchen for a late night meal. Habits are hard to break. “Spaghetti?” Carmy suggests.

“Yes oh my goodness. Butttt use bucatini instead. And all the cheese.” He smiles in agreement and pecks her on the lips and gets out all the ingredients they need. Julia Child is on in the background on a public access channel, as they converse about the restaurant and Carmy’s nephew and Sydney’s dad and Carmy’s dysfunctional family, the deep loss Syd still feels at the absence of her mom for most of her life. More tenderness.

Pasta is rolled out. Meat sauce is sautéed, seasoned and almost ready. The Shiraz is poured. Carmy can’t stop staring at her in his shirt and boxers. She’s so cute. The pasta boils and he watches her watching the program, fully enthralled. Everything is finally done; he plates everything in his unique Carmy way and Syd audibly orgasms at how the savory flavors meld together especially with the wine.

He grates more pecorino over the pasta and the lull in conversation is comfortable and warm. Not awkward and full of anxiety like with Donna….leaving him constantly overthinking and being afraid to speak. Sydney seemingly knows what he’s going to say before he does and that brings him comfort. They’re in crystal clear alignment on every way and he now knows a semblance of peace.

“Fuck. This is good.” Sydney is damn near scraping the plate, while Carmy is smiling the biggest she’d ever seen from him. They both love when the other eats their food. That sense of pride is undeniable.

“I’m glad you enjoyed, Chef. Anything for you.” He winks at her and she gets bashful and mumbled out that she’s going to take care of the dishes since he cooked. To his surprise, he’s a little more tipsy than he realized from the Shiraz. Carmy drains his glass and pours himself another, while checking Syd’s frame out. His boxers are screaming for relief and a little moan eeks out of him before he can stop it. Thankfully Syd isn’t aware of his moment of weakness.

Carmy swallows and wipes his lips and moseys behind his girlfriend. Kissing and nipping. “I’m almost done here, Carm..” Syd whines a bit at his ministrations and drops the plate into the soapy water.

“Yeah. Not fast enough for me..” Carmy turns her around and leaps with his tongue and mouth first. Her hands are dripping wet but she doesn’t waste a second grabbing his head of wild curls and taking what he has to give. Carmy grabs her legs to wrap them around his waist and Syd can periodically feel him thrust up into her mound, wailing for stimulation that only he can provide.

Their shared affection overpowers the television, and Carmy feels his way down the hallway with his baby in his arms. His love, that saved him in so many ways. He pulls his shirt off, she takes hers off. She takes his boxers off that she had on and she lays on his bed, naked as the day she was born. “Fuck me, Carmen.”

She held in her amusement because his entire neck and face was blood red with the pupils of his eyes blown out. Syd knows that he’s doing everything he can to stay contained, but he knows her better by now—she does what she wants. So she spreads her legs for him and twirls her clit in tandem with a brown nipple. Carmy’s about to explode.

He drops to his knees and explores her love below like it’s never been done before. “Sydney, why do you taste so good? Why do you do this to me..” She relishes in the fact that he’s potentially bruising her with the vice grip he has on her thighs, but yet she’s so afraid that she’s gonna squirt in his face if he keeps gently sucking her clit in and out of his lips like that. His manicured fingers enter her canal one after the other and prompt her to let go. “CARMYYYYYYY!”

His whole chest is drenched, and his eyes are shut tight, his deft fingers rubbing tight circles around her clit with a precision that only an executive chef named Carmen Anthony Berzatto could deliver. Sydney pushed his head away and she’s left trembling with watery eyes. “I-I—i didn’t know I could do that!”

Carmy just smirks and wipes his mouth and drops his pants. Syd still can’t get over him. He has even more tattoos that can’t be readily seen on a day to day basis, he is so cut and muscled and has a cock that should be cast in 24 karat gold. Don’t sleep on the short kings.

“Turn around.” His voice leaves no room for pushback, and she can barely raise up on her knees before he’s manhandling her. He’s learned that he loves doggy with Syd. With her ass high in the air, she is getting impatient as well and reaches behind her to line him up with her slit. Carmy catches his lip in his teeth as he pushes forward and they both groan out a “fuck” that only they could wholly grasp.

On the first stroke, he’s all the way in and Syd fees his sack grazing over her entrance. They’re both in a trance. Carmy has visions of Syd cooking, smiling, cumming, revolving in his mind as well as the score of the last White Sox home game so he doesn’t bust his load quick. Syd can’t get the thought of how intense and sweet he gazes at her. How he commands their team, how his talent speaks for itself, how fucking sexy his jawline is, how big his heart is. How lucky is she? To fall in love with her idol, mentor, boss….and to have him love her back.

The bed is beginning to bounce off the wall. Their volume increases as Syd can’t hold herself up anymore and they fall into collapsed doggy with their fingers interlocked. “I’m so glad you found me. I love you Syd, I love you, I fucking—fucking love you baby!” That set Sydney off for the most expansive and overwhelming orgasm of the night, taking her beau with her over the edge. Carmy’s sweaty forehead lays on Sydney’s right temple—both of them with tears in their eyes.

Carmy kissed every finger tip until their mouths met again, both letting their waterlogged eyes flow free. “I know. I love you too Carmy. We’re never alone.”

“We’re never alone.”

[herejusttosufferalong]

Alright, I’ve been an Italy truther for a long time, but I’ve had to readjust my thinking after the live tonight. I am now pretty firm in the fact that they were together in some capacity by the beginning of 2023 (if not a little earlier). There are too many things lining up that don’t point anywhere else. I think L was fully in, but N kept things more at an arms length. She has said she’s cynical about love and honestly I think she was also probably scared by the magnitude of it. My guess is she hid behind her busy schedule filming both Bridgerton and Big Mood and L starting TSOTs as an excuse to keep things more casual. Honestly, I think L getting on Raya and his HBS is more reactionary to this than anything else. It seems like a big game of chicken that went horribly wrong on both sides. N wanted to keep things more casual and al tried to call her bluff.

I think the final straw for a was the Emily Bear incident. She was in too deep and had a glimpse at the negativity and how all of this could hurt their careers which seems like an absolute deal breaker to her. It was also just a smack in the face even though she wouldn’t commit herself. The play is the last time they saw each other before they parted ways. They made sure to do it as friends so as not to affect their working partnership and because they both really love each other.

L was devastated and just dove headfirst into HBS and quickly after him and N parted ways, he met A. She was fun and easy and fit in with his friends. And, maybe most importantly, was the complete opposite of N. He kept it mostly to himself and when him and N checked in and chatted, he never told her he had met one person, just that he was dating. Then the NYE kiss he never intended to get out was broadcast everywhere. This kind of picks up where I originally had thought which is that the early tour weirdness was based on this.

I think what we say Valentines Day on was N and L back together and on a good page thinking they could go forward as friends. They thought they’d found their equilibrium. They were wrong. Bowral showed them how wrong they were. Everything came rushing back once they were out traveling together and spending so much time. L might’ve been upset that N was trying so hard to act like everything was totally fine. I think the Italy convo was more a hashing out of what N was really feeling in 2023 vs what she had previously communicated. Hence why we get them progressively getting loved up and happy the remainder of the tour. I think post Brazil, L and A had a talk that he was still mulling over the rest of the tour.

In Galway, post premiere, when he may or may not have stayed the weekend with her and her family, they had a convo and L told N he was in a relationship with A and he needed to see that through. My guess this was fueled partly by guilt towards A, partly him having real feelings for A (not like he has for N though) and partly cause he was rejected by N previously and was still hurt and also a little reluctant to go down that road again knowing how devastated he was the first time.

N being the strong, badass that she is took it in stride even though she was totally heartbroken. She started to harden her heart back up which is why we see her reacting a little less to L (or trying at times) when they were back in London. I think they both were emotional for different reasons at the London premiere, but they still found comfort in each other cause no matter what, the absolutely love each other and again reaffirmed they will stay friends no matter what.

N has totally softened and begun to believe in love because of L (😭), but totally understands where he is at which is why she has supported him even in light of pap gate. She’s heartbroken, but hopeful in a way she never had been before.

Cut to the video JVN posted of her signing along to T Swift’s Enchanted…

🎶please don’t be in love with someone else…

There is a lot to consider here anon

Thank you for sharing 💜

Also adding in your follow up ask below 👇

“I just sent in an essay length ask about previously being an Italy truther, but I wanted to add something….I’ve always thought it was weird that L brought A to some stops at the beginning (Jan/feb) of the press tour and I think if he was feeling insecure about his relationship with N, it would make total sense for him to bring her as a safety blanket. I’m not saying he’s madly in love or anything, but I think she’s easy. If he was stressed about his dynamic with N, then having an excuse to retreat to something/someone simple would be nice. I think that’s also part of why we maybe didn’t see her later in the tour. Yes, they were busy, but he didn’t need her or want her there anymore.”

[sullina]

it's been idek how many years (10ish?) and I'm still in absolute awe at how they decided to do the "Rose was Pink Diamond" reveal

They could've done it in a less convoluted way by something like Pearl, instead of saying it, just drawing or writing it on paper (if that would've even been a possible workaround to PDs command), but instead they decided to peel back the layers that are Pearls past, quite literally, and how Pearl felt about Rose in every memory Steven went through.

Pearl loved Rose and was dependent on her. Not just emotionally, but also on a deeper level. On homeworld, a pearls purpose is solely to serve other gems, not to be in charge of anything, least of all themselves.

At first, out Pearl was the same, but Pink Diamond was the one who was different, treating a simple pearl as a person, not like a glorified secretary.

Pink Diamond herself was also different, obviously. At first, she wanted to be like the other diamonds: equal to them and in charge of her own colony, for them to stop treating her like a little kid.

But as soon as she got that, she realized that "wait... this is not what i wanted...". I don't remember which episode it's from, but the whole reason Pink Diamond was so excited to have her own colony is because they were "creating life from nothing", until she realized that what they were actually doing was "taking life, and leaving nothing behind".

Pink Diamond didn't want a soulless army that followed her every command. She wanted real connections with others. Any gem that wasn't a diamond would give her the same, soulless "yes, my diamond" if she were to so much as look at them, and the diamonds themselves often disregarded anything she did as childish antics and often punished her when she didn't behave like they thought a diamon a should behave (mainly regal and soulless).

In just about every single flashback we see of Pink Diamond and the other diamonds, the interaction is bad in some way.

On the jungle moon, Pink just wanted to hang out with Yellow, have some fun, but Yellow pushed her aside like she was a child. Pink blew a fuse and insisted she was a diamond too. Upon Yellow telling her to "act like it", Pink stomped off and smashed a glass panel, where we can then see just how angry she was.

Then, when Pink finally got the earth as her first colony, after deciding that she didn't want to hollow it out and leave it a barren wasteland, Blue and Yellow insisted she finish was she started, not listening to her at all. Instead, they built a human zoo. Blue even told Pink she didn't have to do anything, just exist, and the colony would be finished. (Hence why Pink decided to make it look like she was shattered. It's not that she ran away, really, it's that this was the only way to do what she wanted, which was to save the earth and live on it, with Pearl, and all the humans, who weren't absolutely subservient to her)

Then in the last season, we see Blue actually imprison Pink for releasing some centipede things at one of her balls. Steven and Connie were only imprisoned for a few days, but who knows for how long Pink was imprisoned at a time? The diamonds are nigh-timeless beings, Pink could've been imprisoned for several years, decades, centuries, maybe even millenia at a time. Just existing in a dark room, in total isolation, for the sole crime of not fitting the mold that was picked out for her.

Being a diamond was just... not in Pinks nature. Running a colony was apparently just sitting around and doing a whole bunch of nothing, but that wasn't Pinks style.

She wanted to go down to earth, see her own colony with her own eyes. But that's not what a diamond should do, and i can imagine that Pink thought Blue and Yellow would take her colony away as soon as they got to know that she wasn't behaving properly (like a diamond), and probably punish her again.

But instead of being on her own, she now had a pearl. Our Pearl, who was "supposed to make her happy" (in Pearls own words), and how do you make a diamond who doesn't want to be a diamond happy? You help her not be a diamond!

Pink became not-a-diamond for the first time, and also for the first time, had a real interaction with another gem. That little "welcome to earth!" she said to that one quartz soldier was such a small thing, but to Pink, it was probably the first interaction with another gem as an equal.

And by equal, i mean something that didn't have to listen to her, and that she didn't have to listen to. They were all diamonds, but Blue and Yellow could still tell her "no" and punish her. All other gems were subservient to her as a diamond, saluting to her and ending every sentence with a "yes, my/pink diamond".

Pink Diamond could not be happy, be it as Pink or as a diamond.

Of course she would leave Blue and Yellow and White to go and be with Pearl, a gem considered so low in the gem hierarchy that many considered them to be glorified decorations (mentioned by Peridot when they conceptualized the drill).

Pink Diamond, now Rose Quartz, broke out of the mold she could never fit, and so inspired Pearl to do the same. As much as she could, anyway, with Pink Rose still being there.

In the movie, when Pearl and the others were reset by Spinels rejuvenator, we see Pearl take on the same form she had in the flashback on the moon base where her and Pink went down to earth for the first time.

It's possible that Pink Diamond was the first and only gem that Pearl has ever served. And with gems not having a natural end of life (shattering isn't a natural end, it's murder), it's possible that pearls are only "deployed", so to speak, for one gem given specifically to them. They're not "reused", to hopefully make it more understandable.

Meaning, Pink Diamond and then Rose Quartz, was the only gem Pearl had ever known on a more intimate level, and likely built her entire personal identity around her.

So when Rose decided to have a baby, Pearl was utterly distraught, not only because Pearl loved her, but because Rose was also her entire reason to exist, her entire life was centered around Rose.

Pearl asking "What am I going to do without her?" under tears was not just her being sad she would lose someone she loved, but also in a more literal sense. Pearl didn't know who she was outside of Rose, because she straight up just wasn't someone. Without Rose, Pearl was little more than a pearl without a master, without a reason for existing.

Rose having a baby wouldn't have been possible if the diamonds hadn't retaliated against Rose and the rebellion (thus leaving the earth alone in the belief that there were no more rebels), if Pearl hadn't taken on Roses form to shatter Pink Diamond, if Pearl hadn't agreed to Roses plan, if- if Pearl had never fallen for her diamond.

In the scene where Pearl, as Rose, shatters Pink diamond, Pearl is crying.

Pink is no more.

Pearl shattered her.

The one who came back was no longer Pink, but Rose.

Everything would be different.

And perhaps it was.

But in the end, Pearl only swapped one master for another.

Pearls purpose was still the same, to make Pink Rose happy, except this time the command came from herself instead of another diamond. Pearls existence was still centered around Pink Rose. She bore another name and purpose, but it was still the same gem.

But when Rose had a baby and Steven was born, that is when Pink Rose finally and truly died. There was no turning back. Steven was Steven, not just another form of Pink Diamond or Rose.

Rose was gone.

And who was Pearl without Rose?

[undeadorion]

I’m watching RHRN and having big emotions about Copia

Copia only found out Nihil and SIster were his parents “recently.” Some vague point after his introduction (unless there’s some canon thing I haven’t found yet that reveal isn’t show). But the implication there being he was raised in the church as an orphan.

He definitely grew up around the other 3. I could go either way on how they treated him. Either as if he were a brother, or bullied him for being a nuisance. I think maybe a mix of both. Primo wanted nothing to do with him, and being considerably older kept his distance. Not outright mean exactly, but looked at Copia like something he stepped in. Secondo probably was protective but not kind. That “only I get to pick on him” sort of way. Terzo would have been one of those “friends” that you can never be really sure if they’re making fun of you or not. Somedays he’s genuinely nice, other days he’s downright cruel.

But that would have all been when Copia was quite young. Secondo and Terzo are at least 5 if not 10 years older than Copia, so by the time Copia was a teenager, they were going on with their adult lives. But even before that, they were probably told to keep their distance. The fact that they shared such a unique feature as their mis-matched eyes, there would be too many questions of they were seen together. No one was told that, of course. So all anyone knew was Papa’s own kids were avoiding the weird kid, so others would have taken notice leaving Copia alone.

That sort of isolation can drive a person mad unless they find a way to cope with it, or insulate themselves from it. Hence why Copia would have turned to movies and video games. And grew into the weird little nerd we know now. And he wrapped himself up in the church and his work. Eventually getting used to the loneliness. But then seeing those boys he’d once known now come to power. Having to call them Papa, each in turn. It would slowly eat at him, but trying to hide from it. It doesn’t hurt if you don’t think about it, right?

Then suddenly he’s thrust into the spotlight and those boys who were once his friends are dead. And now he’s in charge.

But the real moment of pain would be finding out who his parents were. That they’d been there the whole time. That one of them was already dead, but still around and an absolute dick. That those three boys had actually been his brothers all along. That his mother had them murdered. That he’d been working with his mother this whole time and she never told him. That sort of betrayal and knowledge can fester so fast. And then needing to stare down the barrel of the possibility that his own mother would have him killed as well.

When Nihil is having a heart to heart with Copia back stage, there are tears in Copia’s eyes. I don’t think those were tears of happiness at finally getting kindness from the old man. Those were tears of anger. Of frustration. Of deep and utter loneliness welling up. Nihil had been there Copia’s entire life. He could have been there when Copia was younger, but he instead left him all alone. And only here, during the last concert, after the old man was already dead, was he even trying. A feeling of wanting to scream or break down right there, but needing to press on because they were in the middle of a show.

I joke about Copia being just a silly little guy, but I see so much complexity beneath that awkward surface.

[corviiids]

For the ask game: 1 and 13. Have a good day sir Achilles 🫡

thank you my friend 🫡 this is long. im putting it under the cut. for the record i have chosen achilles and patroclus.

the character everyone gets wrong

i could for real pick any character for this so im glad i've gotten this a few times. let's start with achilles though given the spirit of the ask and how deeply mad it makes me that people get him wrong so often, in so many ways, with such total confidence. the biggest and worst way is when people think he's bloodthirsty or cruel by nature, or when people think that because he acts with such callousness that proves he's a simplistic killing machine or lacks human emotions. to be clear this isn't a speech in defence - this is not about me saying he's a "good person", it's just that that's not the heart of why he's so violent and the distinction is important to me because it informs basically everything he does.

achilles is 1) is a hyper-competent fighter 2) feels emotions in a big way and 3) tends to externalise his sadness grief guilt etc as anger and then violence because it's easier to feel and to experience than all the other stuff. that, and the one time we really see him fight in the iliad is when he's going on a crazed rampage where he IS bloodthirsty and destructive. so it's really easy to look at that and conclude that he has no feelings or just really likes killing, because we don't see anything else. the rest of his character is implied rather than shown and it's really easy to miss. but for me the heart of why the iliad is so heartbreaking for achilles is that the rampage shows the breakdown of achilles' character, not the core of it. it's exactly so tragic because that's actually not who he is. it's not that he isn't violent or hasn't killed or that he has reservations about taking lives, but you can see in earlier events that something is different. for example we are told that achilles when he defeats enemy soldiers is actually perfectly happy to spare and ransom them rather than killing them, which tells me he doesn't fight to kill, he fights to win. that's not hugely different in terms of the outcome, given it is in a war context where defeat and death tend to mean the same thing, but it IS different from a personality and character perspective, because it tells us achilles is at worst indifferent to human life rather than actually being driven by a desire to take it. better? worse? doesn't matter, not my point - just different. and, actually pretty unique amongst all the soldiers we hear about. that makes achilles one of the less bloodthirsty soldiers in the iliad, even if he has one of the highest body counts of the army. diomedes, for example, and even arguably patroclus, are shown with more active bloodlust than achilles.

but that changes in the rampage. it's very explicit in the case of lycaon (one of priam's millions of sons) because achilles meets him in the rampage and we're told that achilles has actually captured him once before and chose then to ransom him. lycaon supplicates him again this time and begs for his life once more. achilles then tells him that before patroclus died, he preferred to spare trojan lives and ransom them, but now that patroclus is dead, things are different. then he kills lycaon. so here we see the change. achilles used to fight to win, because he had no active desire to destroy or cause pain, he just didn't care if that happened on the way to achieving glory. he was driven by victory, pride, vanity, even the fun of fighting. but now patroclus is gone, so he's driven by guilt and grief. he fights to kill. he doesn't do that out of heartlessness or callousness - he does it out of pain. what i'm saying is that when he's out there taking lives, it's not because he has no feelings, it's because he feels too much. hence, the breakdown of his character: the rampage is achilles at his absolute lowest moment lashing out in the only way he can figure out how to do, and it proves that whatever achilles is, he's not a simple killing machine.

just pausing my diatribe to add that there's a lot more to this! the violence thing is just one example. people sometimes see him as cold and unfeeling or simplistic because of the way he reacted to agamemnon and briseis, the fact that he is willing to turn on his own people, the fact that he won't fight to save their lives - all things he does in great selfishness with really tragic and significant consequences, but also all way more complex than they appear from looking at it. if i start on why the "sulking in his tent" thing pisses me off we'll be here for like ten years and you'll need a horse to escape me. i'll just leave it. you gotta trust me.

back on the bloodlust: it's really significant that patroclus is the turning point, because patroclus plays a key role in grounding achilles to humanity and all aspects of mortality. once patroclus is gone, that moral center is gone too, and we begin to see the breakdown of this half-divine figure into a character so struck with deeply human emotions he can't figure out how to hold that he ironically can't maintain his humanity anymore. there's a lot going on and it makes achilles an extremely complex character with very complex feelings, so it drives me absolutely up the wall bonkers when people see him and go, oh there's the guy who fights and kills a lot, he was really mean when we saw him, he sulked in his tent and has no compassion, let's just reduce him to a simple fighter who only cares about himself and that's the end of his motivation. there's a lot of bad things you can say about achilles and have them be perfectly true. he's very selfish and very proud. but he's definitely not a simplistic, mindless, bloodthirsty warrior. that really misses the point of him.

13. worst blorboficiation

okay let's talk about patroclus.

there's this fanon phenomenon that happens a lot with female characters, especially where they're the only female character (or only feminine character) in a group of otherwise masculine figures. it's a very particular kind of girlbossification that turns them into a hypercompetent mom friend who always has their shit together, is secretly better at everything (especially fighting) than all the Guys, and likes to roll their eyes at how immature and silly Their Boys are! i don't need to name examples. you know. you Know.

it happens to male characters too, though, in specific circumstances. they usually have traditionally feminine skill sets and they're often noted for being maternal, caring, or kind. as if to compensate, fanon tends to aggressively exaggerate their competence in all areas. patroclus in the song of achilles was famously portrayed as not very battle-ready, which yes is characterisation i did not like, but a lot of iliad and patchilles people REALLY REALLY didn't like it and now everyone makes a REAL POINT of pointing out how competent patroclus is on the battlefield. and he IS! HE IS! i think, though dont quote me, he has the highest named body count in the iliad. so like, you will never see me arguing against the idea that he's an extremely strong and competent warrior and that his compassion is a choice rather than a product of weakness. im firmly in that camp and i could go on about it all day. but it came with this whole host of Sassification where suddenly it wasnt just that patroclus is one of the best greek soldiers, it was No seriously guys, Patroclus is a BOSS XD. Also, he's the one holding the braincell. He's really sassy and sarcastic and he has Achilles whipped. Etc. Etc.

which, the same way this irks me when it happens to female characters, just annoys me so much. it kind of lessens the impact of how legitimately great and unique patroclus is as a character because it feels like a constant defence against an argument that isn't even necessarily being presented, at least not anymore. when you're constantly trying to make a point with reference to the idea that everyone thinks the other point is true, it weakens the point. patroclus is great. he's one of the best greek soldiers. he can wreck shop. he's exceptionally kind and he's known for being compassionate and caring, which is super significant to the iliad's narrative and themes. i love him. he does NOT have the brain cell. if he ever had it, apollo knocked it out of him the second or third time he tried to climb the same wall he'd just fallen off.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Hi! I know your busy so here’s my request. Take your time, no need to rush. Yandere Beelzebub.

Fem! Reader who is Lilith younger sister. After Y/n saw her sister died by Beelzebub because of satan curse, she is angry so she join the humanity to avenge her sister death by defeating Beelzebub. When Beelzebub meet a cloak figure as his opponent, he didn’t except see the figure familiar face when Y/n cloak was destroy by his ability. Y/n almost died but Beelzebub forfeit the match and carry unconscious Y/n to his lab to heal her. Y/n yell at him but he knock her out and erase her memories and change her memories as Beelzebub wife.

-He took her- he killed her! Your big sister, the most important person in your life and he took her from you!

-You knew he was cursed, but he’s had that curse for so long- why couldn’t he control it?! He was a scientist and constantly experimenting, why couldn’t he control it?!

-Why… why was it Lilith who had to pay the price?

-There was a little voice in the back of your head telling you not to blame him, but you wanted to blame someone- your big sister was dead!!

-Beelzebub’s opponent was a hooded figure, you hid yourself well, telling Brunnhilde that you were going to fight for humanity so you could avenge your sister.

-While she was hesitant at first, Brunnhilde allowed you to take Nikola’s spot, sensing your anger, your power.

-He was unsure of who you were, you were petite, a female, but he couldn’t get close enough to get a good look, you were very fast, and while not overly strong, you did give him a good challenge.

-You slashed your hands across his cheek and he managed to grab your cloak and it started to disintegrate, leaving you exposed to all, seeing that it was you fighting.

-He froze, seeing that you were crying, and you looked so similar to Lilith, his eyes widened as you charged again, anguish in your voice, “Give me back my sister!”

-He punched you hard in the gut, making you gag as you fell to the ground hard, getting the wind knocked out of you, quickly falling unconscious.

-Many were cheering for Beelzebub to kill you, to win the match, but he felt so much pain, so much anguish, seeing your tears and he stunned all by forfeiting the match, giving the win to humanity.

-He picked you up, cradling you carefully, as if you were made of glass, he didn’t know you, but he couldn’t look away from you, you were so beautiful, so much like Lilith. He lost Lilith, he wasn’t going to lose you too.

-You were definitely feistier compared to Lilith, he brought you back to his lab to heal both yours and his wounds, and when you woke up and saw him looking down at you, you lunged at him like a wildcat, trying to claw his eyes out.

-Once you were unconscious again he had to sit in his chair to take a breather, you were not to be underestimated by any means.

-After tending to his new wounds, Beelzebub got to work, using his magic and science to alter your memories, making it look like someone else killed your sister and Beelzebub tried to save her and that you were in love with him.

-He wasn’t above manipulation, wanting you to be completely devoted to him, however he did like your feisty personality, keeping that intact, but only for the bedroom.

-When you woke up, you were hazy, your memory and vision both fuzzy as he was quickly by your side, looking down at you in worry, “Y/N?”

-Your smile was stunning as you beamed up at him, “Did I win?” he snorted in laughter, turning away with a hand over his mouth as he chuckled, “Yes my love, you beat me. You’re quite the little hellion.” You grinned brightly, as he had altered your memories of the fight, that you were fighting him in an exhibition match, just for fun, but neither one of you held back, hence why you were so sore right now.

-He found you to be a wonderful person, as he hadn’t alerted your personality any, only your memories, and you were different from Lilith, who was elegant and mature, you were feisty, fun, but also warm and caring.

-Beelzebub was very quick to fall hard for you, it was hard not to, and he did everything in his power to keep you safe from his curse, which wasn’t acting up for some reason.

-He learned why in a dream one night, when Satan spoke to him, telling him that he would not kill his new lover, after seeing what he did to get you to love him, finding it corrupt, so who was he to ruin such delicious corruption.

-Beelzebub only felt guilt in the beginning, feeling like he was betraying Lilith, but once he fell for you, his guilt left, but he never forgot Lilith, she always remained as a reminder to protect you, to keep you safe so he didn’t lose you as well.

-He kept you close, never leaving the house without you and you never left without him, the two of you were never seen without each other, but that’s how it should be as husband and wife.

-The moment he could, he married you, to keep you even closer and your elation made him so happy, he felt so warm when you tackled him in sheer joy.

-Now his days were spent being doted on by you when he wasn’t working on his research and his night were…. Definitely a workout, but that’s the price he decided to pay, marrying a succubus.

[ruiimellowww]

Okay HI hello 👋👋

I saw ur art about Sun & Moon through a reblog and I am such a simp for those two omg so here's a rant :33

(Also if you're not comfy with this pls ignore this rant then, and I am so sry if that is the case!! Will stop immediately if you tell me to /srs)

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CAN I JUST SAY I am sosososososo in love with your desgin for the dca cuz holy shit I have never seen anything hotter. O.O LIKEEE THE HUMANOID VERSION??!?!!?? UGH soooo goooodd 🥵🥵 I love the designs and the- the little EARRINGS as well?!??! Omg sooooo cutee aaaaaa 💞💞

and-and omigosh UR ART IS SO GOOD AS WELL!?!? I straight up just wanna munch it. I am eating ur art fr. In LOVE with ur artstyle it's so yummy 😍

Anywhoooo I also scrolled through your dca tag aND *GASP* ECLIPSE?????? 😍😍AND I?? WANNA??? BE ENVELOPED????? BY HIMM??? (I feel like mans would give THE BEST cuddles on the planet!!!)

HOLLLYYYY SHITTTT thE SIZEEEEEEE

Big tall omigoshhhhhhHHH M- my brain- my heart my- mY EVERYThIng is mELTING! ! ! ! ! Literally his size just does something to me I cannot comprehend why omigosh

(*lays in a puddle on the floor*)

I can imagine sosososo many different scenarios where that height could be used aaaaa >~< <333 ;P

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Omg if you have any HCs (and *wanna* share, ofc.) about him (Or about Sun & Moon) I'd love to listen to you ramble about them??? <333

So curious about ur HCs & would absolutely love any crumbs about the dca ksskksskkdkdjdks ❤️😂

Uhm uhm first off, thank you so much I can't rlly put into words how sweet this is and I totally don't mind the rambles because me too. And also because its been YEARS since I last used Tumblr or did anything answering Ask is a bit tough for me.. MmMM

Although I don't have many HC at the moment.. I can however give you a little insight I have regarding my Human DCA :]

Moondrop (Moon) and Sundrop

- when I first designed Moon (after the game came out) he had a much wilder look to him, especially the face because I was really into the idea of him being simply insane hence the red.

- later when i got back to his design and adding colours I thought that it would be fun to make it Blue and white themed, which I actually didn't see a lot back then

- he wasn't supposed to look human even as a Humanoid, I liked to think that Sun & Moon simply had a renovated body. They are just as much Animatronics as they had always been, robotic parts and everything but with a bit of twist

- So then onto Sun.. the thing is its sad to say but I never explored much with Sun's design back then as much as I did with Moon, so I can't provide a good reference

- although I had a rough idea of how sun would look like I never quite liked the way I drew him, so he's always somewhat been stuck in this unfinished stage

- Then there was eclipse, who was my absolute FAVORITE at that time, I don't think I loved a character MORE THAN ECLIPSE EVER when I was drawing him out

- yes!! It was very much inspired by the 3D render shown here as the ref, though I did make some changes of my own to the design as well

- I had a lot in my head when I was drawing him, but the one thing that I loved most about this design still to thisq day is rhe face. The way I him to look back then was sort of a mix between my Sun and Moon designs, only leaning more towards Sun in colours and Moon in appearance with the crazed look in his eyes

The height was just a funny little thing I thought of, cuz imagine this giant fkn ahh robot just comes in here and picks you up 💀 god I would piss myself

Cough..

So in regards to the new design, I did kind of get rid of the animatronic feel to him that I had done with the DCA and his old design, all of them now look a whole lot more Human which is what I intended for

Eclipse has a few scars around his body; right forearm, left side of his torso that leads all the way up to his chest. Plus a bit of his face that is burnt which you can't exactly see because of the Black spots

Overall I like my newer designs quite a lot and has also changed a lot, this is probably the most insight you'll get out of me abt my art 😭😭 cuz I don't usually ramble this much otherwise

I might come up with some head canons at a later date, but they'll be fun thats for sure ;)

[hannahssimblr]

Lucky Girl - Relationship Analysis

Evie & Kelly

The dynamics between Evie and her friends is the first glimpse we really get into Evie’s state of mind in part one. We know that she’s known Kelly since she was little, and they’ve been friends forever, not really through choice as much as through circumstance. I always had this idea that Evie and Kelly just sat next to each other on the first day of school, and ever since then they’ve just kind of defaulted to friendship despite their obvious incompatibilities. 

It’s certainly not a good friendship, and this is evident from early on. Kelly is the type of person who enjoys subtly putting Evie down, making her feel small and insignificant through actions that are not really that noticeable to other people, but Kelly knows her well enough to know what will hurt.  

Claire is introduced at the same time as Kelly, but it’s established that this is a newer friendship. They’ve only been hanging out with Claire for about a year, and straight off the bat, Evie feels a little left out, as in chapter one, Kelly and Claire walk ahead of her and chat in the mobile home bedroom while she hangs out on her own in the kitchen, making awkward small talk with Shane. I wanted there to be the sense that Kelly does this kind of thing, she’ll latch onto the new, more interesting person and leave Evie on her own, making sure that she knows that she’s secondary. 

Still, for most of part one, Evie’s thoughts about Kelly are still conflicted. There are nice things about her, and Evie reminds herself of these whenever she can. She’s fun! She’s confident! Everyone loves her! …but she continues to push Evie’s boundaries and make her feel small and uncomfortable, like when she picks on her for her choice of underwear, insists that she go out with Liam when she’s not interested and forces her to sing karaoke even though she’s too embarrassed to stand in front of all those people and sing. In this case, Kelly demonstrates how confident and at ease she is while doing karaoke so that she can pretend that it’s easy and to make Evie feel ridiculous for not trying. 

Kelly makes half-hearted attempts to be a good friend to Evie too. She talks her up to Liam and tells him about how good she is at art, only to quickly lose interest in the conversation and find a way to make it about her again. The main issue with Kelly is that it must be about her all of the time. She feels threatened when someone else takes the limelight - especially someone like Evie, who has always done a good job of being the background friend in her life. (Hence why she’s kept her around for so long) Now that Evie is starting to show signs of coming into her own she’s become bitter and jealous. 

Kelly brings up the boys that fancy Evie in chapter three. When Evie complains that nobody likes her, Kelly is quick to list off all the boys from home that do. Funny that she’s kept tabs like that. It’s clear that Kelly is beginning to feel insecure about boys showing interest in Evie, when she’s supposed to be the more desirable one. (Kelly tells a story in chapter one about how all the boys in the caravan parks liked her, possibly as a way to reaffirm that she’s the more popular friend.)

 Kelly tries to get Evie to go out with Liam because she feels like he’s embarrassing and undesirable enough for her, while also getting to hide behind the guise of helping her ‘solve’ her affliction. Evie is used to this by now, and this is evident in chapter two, when Evie automatically assigns herself to the ‘ugliest’ of the three Italian boys. Kelly has made her feel unworthy of romance so many times that she can’t even conceive of dating someone who is genuinely attractive to her. When she talks about the hierarchy of dating in chapter two, she’s talking about the ways that Kelly has made her feel. 

When Evie finally does date Liam, Kelly makes a point of showing off to everyone how ‘cute’ their relationship is. She gets drunk at the barbecue at Jude’s beach house and goes on about how glad she was that Evie finally found herself a boy. A lame, embarrassing boy, but a boy nonetheless. She does this because she feels left out of the group. None of these older kids seem to like her, her brother is flirting with Claire, and now Evie is happy with Liam too. It wasn’t really supposed to go like this, so she needs to let everyone know that Evie is still a loser. It doesn’t work, of course, and Evie only ends up gaining sympathy from Jen, which ultimately leads her on a path towards Jude. 

Another moment of this kind of sabotage comes up much later, when Evie talks to her school crush, Will, at Shane’s house. He reveals that Kelly told him that Evie fancied him years ago, and Evie is incredibly embarrassed. It’s evident that Kelly was jealous, or perhaps even detecting some mutual interest from Will, and decided to immediately ruin it by making it awkward for everyone involved. 

When Evie goes to Dublin she thinks about how disinterested Kelly would be to learn that she is visiting a gallery, just to show that Evie’s interests are of absolutely no interest to Kelly, and that her friend has made her feel small and silly for liking art at all. This theme also comes up a bit later, as Evie has a memory of attending football games with Kelly against her will. What Kelly likes is of paramount importance, but what Evie likes is boring. 

The friendship with Kelly really takes a nosedive around chapters 8 - 11. Evie is supposed to go out with Liam and agree to go to his debs with him so that Kelly can claim that she’s ‘fixed’ her, but nothing goes according to plan. Evie returns home after spending the evening with Jude instead, and expresses a total loss of interest in Liam. Kelly is confused and frustrated until Evie admits to fancying Jude, and then she becomes furious. How dare Evie think she has a chance with a boy like Jude! Who does she think she is? He would never have liked Kelly (and perhaps he even made this clear a previous summer) so how could he ever like a person who is inferior to her in every way? She tries to frighten Evie away by saying that Jude is sexually experienced and would push her into situations that she isn’t ready for. 

Another moment I come back to a lot in this chapter is when Kelly demands to know where her shoes are, the ones she loaned to Evie the night before. She locates them and makes a big show of checking them for dirt and damage, only not to find any. She behaves as though Evie will ‘ruin’ her things, but then throws the shoes onto the floor unceremoniously afterwards. Clearly the shoes don’t even mean that much to her, she just wanted to make the point that Evie is careless. 

The friendship reaches its final stages when Evie misses her dinner date with Kelly. By now, Kelly has already snapped at Claire over the festival and caused a rift between them, meaning that Claire is no longer hanging out in the mobile home all day. She’s bored, and now that her preferred friend has abandoned her, she turns to Evie for support. 

She asks Evie if they can have dinner together one evening, and maybe go for a swim since they haven’t been spending too much time together, and Evie guiltily agrees, sensing Kelly’s vulnerability. Obviously, Evie falls asleep at Jude’s house and misses the date. She knows deep within herself that this means trouble. Perhaps the girls have been here before, perhaps this is why Evie is so worried about upsetting Kelly, why she always has a radar for her moods. She returns home to find Kelly furious and upset. 

Kelly uses this opportunity to tear Evie to shreds, she says that she is self interested and thoughtless, with more interest in boys than in her friends. Eventually all facades fall away and Kelly admits that she’s jealous of Evie, because she gets everything she wants. Everyone likes her more, she’s prettier, thinner, funnier, sweeter, more loved by her parents, whereas Kelly has always felt overshadowed by her brother’s successes. The fact that Evie spent the afternoon and evening with Jude is too much to bear. 

Following on from their friendship-ending fight, Kelly proceeds to give Evie the silent treatment, and never really stops, right up into adulthood. Kelly can never forgive Evie for being ‘better’ than she is, and she will punish her for as long as she can. Previously, all of Kelly’s problems came back to Shane. Now they will come back to Evie. This is why she accepts Claire and is civil with her but won’t even look at Evie. She knows that Claire wouldn’t care either way, but she knows Evie well enough to know how hurt she will be by being ignored and demonized. This is the last shred of power that she has over her, and she will hold onto it as long as she can. 

I wanted to hint a little bit at Kelly’s life after she stops being a part of the story. Shane mentions to Evie that his sister is struggling to make friends in college, and the reason I included this is because I’ve always felt like there are certain behaviors that a person can get away with as a teenager, but that most adults will never accept. Kelly will not change, her methods will not change, but the people around her will. She’ll never have close friends like Evie and Claire again (she even made friends with Cristina the horse girl, who she doesn’t even like so that she wouldn’t be alone),  she will only become lonelier and lonelier, and as a result angrier and angrier, as she is unable to put the blame upon herself or ever admit that she has a role in the trajectory of her own life. It is everybody’s fault but her own. 

The last time we see Kelly is in the epilogue, but there she’s represented by her three year old daughter Fiadh. I never really wanted to ‘punish’ Kelly, or to give her a horrible life for revenge, but I did feel like she would do all she could to ensure that her own children were never forgotten in the way that she was by her own parents. Kelly will never say ‘no’ to Fiadh, nor will she punish her for poor behaviour, because it is never Fiadh’s fault, it is the people around her. The cycle continues.

[sarcasticsciencefictionwriter]

Ways to say I love you-

Teslen, platonic or romantic doesn’t matter. Agh how am I supposed to pick only one, there are so many good ones! But I’ll say no. 13😊

Hi, thank you so much! Oooh, platonic or romantic. I mean, if you want another one, I wouldn't be offended. 😉

Number 13: "Only you can call me that." (from this list)

(I tried my hand at platonic, let's see how that went.)

____

"What did you just call me?"

Nikola wasn't sure if that response was angry or surprised and knew that this would usually be ground to tread carefully. If he were anyone else, anyway.

He smirked at Helen, leaning against the table.

"What, did you not like it?"

Helen rolled her eyes, fiddling with the vials in front of her, as she had been doing since they had been in here.

"It...." Helen pursed her lips, looking as if she were genuinely considering the question. "No one has ever called me that before."

Not to mention that if they hadn't been behind closed doors, it would have been considered very inappropriate, especially considering Helen's unmarried--though engaged--status and Nikola most definitely not being a family member.

Nikola grinned again, straightening his spine and leaning towards her a little bit.

"You can try out something on me, if that will make you feel better." he offered.

"Like what? Nicky?"

"My mother already beat you to that, Helen. You'll have to try a bit harder."

Helen snorted and bent over the microscope again, as if the slide would hold an answer that it hadn't yet offered.

Nikola knew that she was frustrated that the Source Blood seemed to have no apparent effect on her, considering the rest of them had already discovered and started to master their own gifts.

Well, play with them.

Nikola would admit that once he had managed to get his transformation under control and they had found a way to slacken his thirst for human blood, it was rather fun and they had all made a game out of it.

Which was probably what was taking John, Nigel, and James so long to get here, despite John being able to transport the three of them if he wanted to.

Helen was becoming more frustrated and disappointed that the experiment that she had been the mastermind behind and had been the first subject of had done nothing to her.

Nikola didn't like seeing her like that and they had all been doing their best to cheer her up.

Hence today's apparent shenanigan.

It had riled her up more than Nikola had thought and that was something that he frankly enjoyed. Helen was the one that tolerated him the most when it came to things like this and it was only right that Nikola take full advantage of that.

"Can't think of anything else?" he teased.

"Nothing that should leave a lady's mouth." Helen quipped, switching slides.

Nikola stared and then burst out laughing.

"Like what?"

Helen looked up at him through her lashes, giving him a smile he was certain many men would have fallen for.

"Why, Nikola, did I not already tell you I cannot tell you?"

"Since when have you been a lady, Magnus?"

He leaned closer to her and they stared each other down, things rapidly becoming a contest of who would break first.

The right side of Helen's mouth quirked upward for a moment and she broke her hold on his gaze, tidily adjusting the microscope.

Nikola smirked and rounded the table, hoping she would allow him a glimpse of the slide, which contained yet another sample of her blood.

Helen's poor arms were starting to resemble a pin cushion, she had been drawing so many samples from herself in an attempt to figure out what the Source blood had done to her. Or what it hadn't done.

She stepped back to allow him to see and Nikola bent to look at the slide, but he couldn't see anything other than a regular sample. There was nothing special, though it was doubtful that a blood slide would really be able to show them anything.

It just showed how desperate Helen was getting, in truth.

She had talked about giving herself another dose of the serum, but it was too late, considering that Gregory had already departed with the vial.

It irked Nikola a little, to be honest, but the five of them had talked about handing it over and had agreed it was for the best, considering what could happen if someone else got their hands on it. Someone like Worth, for example.

"We'll figure this out. Ellie."

Helen gave him a look at the repeated testing of the nickname.

But she wasn't telling him to stop, which he took as a good sign.

He lightly touched her hand, drawing her gaze back to his, where he held it sincerely.

"We'll figure this out. I promise. There is no reason to believe that nothing happened to you."

Helen's eyes flickered and Nikola knew she was hesitant to so openly face that conversation, admit how she was feeling.

"You're awfully confident."

"Because it's a fact, Ellie."

Helen laughed, some of the tension easing from her body.

"Only you can call me that."

"I shall only use it in the most dire of circumstances."

"Oh? And what would those be?"

"You needing a smile, mostly."

Helen laughed and squeezed his hand, giving him that smile.

Nikola squeezed it back.

[smoozie]

...life series ace attorney au?

colour me intrigued.

I've already explained the jist of it here and expanding on some defense/prosecutor duos I enjoy here

I am so excited to talk abt this!! Feel free to ask more questions! I'm using this ask as an excuse to talk abt design ideas regarding the lawyers!

Starting off with Gem, whose design I've already finished!! She has a similar silhouette to Apollo's angsty Dual Destinies design with her (green) jacket over her shoulders because of the shawl(?) In her hc10 skin and witch skin. I gave her a white button up with a yellow tie since a lot of her skins have yellow/gold accents. I also gave her a corset because of the corset for her empires skin (now sure what season, I haven't watched her empires u-u). I've given her a single glove as a reference to her hc10 skin and to Athena's single glove, since I think Athena and her share some fun similarities. Finally she has some grey pants (Capcom give these lawyer women pants!!) And brown dress boots.

Unfortunately, Gem's design was the easiest for me! I'm trying to keep the defense side relatively simple as you'll notice in aa they tend to be (rip Athena). I don't want everyone in a basic suit tho so I am trying to mix things up a bit. Would love some suggestions! As for the others, I have some ideas

Scott's S1 Empires skin is actually perfect! It's that multicolored tunic that could easily be depicted as a suit jacket with a white dress shirt underneath. Could be fun to mess around with what kind of shirt he's in or a neck accessory besides a tie. Other than that I haven't got much for him. Ace attorney lawyers also tend to be strongly color coded, so a multicolored suit may break that aa feel, but uh it's more fun <3. I may end up playing around with the colors anyway.

Mumbo's design is actually the easiest. I had more fun with Gem, hence why she was done first, but Mumbo is already wearing his ace attorney suit design lol. I kinda want to play around with it a bit more, but I may end up settling on his self imposed aa design.

Scar has an extremely unique problem for me where he actually has too many fun lawyer-adjacent skins. Particularly his hc8 and limited life skins. They are both very iconic to me but would be difficult to actually mesh into one deisgn. Additionally I ADORE the color pallette of his secret life skin (og, but red is good too) but I'm not sure if I could include it. Altogether Scar is the hardest!! If I pick one route I feel like I'm losing so many possibilities! And I don't want to just copy one skin of his, like Gem I want their to be numerous references to different skins. May have to study the aa wiki defense attorneys to get some better in-universe outfit ideas.

I've been having some trouble with Grian as I wanted to include his iconic sweater without breaking the prosecutor vibe. The prosecution tends to have more wild or whimsical (see Nahyuta) designs. However, I think Grian may end up on the more simple side of the prosecutor spectrum, Edgeworth is a more simple prosecutor anyway and Grian is Edgeworth-adjacent. Come to think of it tho, his poultry man skin looks stupidly similar to Gregory Edgeworth. Could do smth with that maybe hmmm.

Etho's design is actually pretty straightforward from his skin. And he only has one to work with haha. What I'm picturing looks a lot like Godot's outfit, he even has a mask on lol. I'm probably gonna try to make it pretty unique, but it is hard to resist the urge to just turn those sleeves into a button up and that green into a suit vest.

Joel is one I'm trying to play around with more. I've perused his skins and haven't had any stand out as super lawyer-y. His default is fun enough to work with tho! Gem's comment of his weird vest thing as a corset is making me consider giving him a corset (he and Gem can match!). I'm trying to distinguish him from Shrek as much as possible while still keeping recognizable elements from his default. All in all I think he'll be fun.

CLEO oh BOY am I excited for Cleo. I'm thinking a lot of Franziska's silhouette with Cleo, focussing on extravagant sleeves, particularly relating to that blue dress skin of Cleo's. I'm also thinking of Nahyuta's detailing. Cleo's skins, to me, give the perfect amount of inspo without spelling anything out. I'll probably stick to her usual color pallette, but playing around with her 80s skin colors could be fun! Cleo is very exciting for me!

Finally, Pearl. When it comes to Pearl's design, her top aa influence is Barok van Zieks. I adore his cape and would really like to use it as a reference to scarlet Pearl. I also really like his soldier-esc getup underneath it, and while I wouldn't go as heavy handed with it, I am tempted to take some bits. I also really like Lana Skye for Pearl as a design reference, but mostly for her sprites. Pearl will not be crazy corrupt like her, but I would like to draw some parallels