#i had to violently battle the gnomes to post this

[blazeshardcat]

sometimes i forget that the members of n25 actually SING the songs they upload in canon, probably bc out of every group they talk the least abt actually recording/performing vocals. and i think its an underutilized chance for comedy

maybe mafuyu mentions it offhand to like, shizuku at archery club. so shizuku talks about that to the rest of mmj, and airi finally gets the link to the n25 channel from ena, cause they all want to see their kind, helpful class rep sing a nice song.

however. the song they end up clicking on is the rare n25 upload thats not nice or calm, but is actually something bug or usseewa adjacent where mafuyu is full power, full anger, crying and sounding noooothing like she does at school. the song ends and mmj is just staring at the phone in stunned silence. you could repeat this with basically any unit

ena would also be a great one since akito is such a tryhard about music. i imagine the n25 members that arent kanade don't record their vocals at home, so he hasn't ever heard ena sing. so when he does finally check out n25's channel, he hears her singing Really Well and hes like ??????????? hey what

he asks ena where the hell she learned to sing and she says she just kinda learned from going to karaoke and stuff like that. akito immediately gets mad and they fight. mostly its akito saying that shes wasting her skills by only singing in videos, and then ena asks if hed rather her sing on vivid street and he goes absolutely not

[kaediisarchive]

Final thoughts on the 2021 Mortal Kombat movie.

LOTS of spoilers under the cut! Do not look at this post if you don’t want to see spoilers!

And remember, this is all just my opinion. It’s not like an actual in-depth review because I’m not a film student; this is just my perspective on what I saw as a fan of this franchise.

POSITIVE

Sub-Zero and Scorpion were great. Opening fight was great.

“Eddy Tobias” namedrop lmao

I love the snow preceding Sub-Zero’s attack. Very foreboding.

Score is AWESOME. My favorite soundtrack is probably the one that plays when Sub-Zero is attacking them in the city towards the beginning.

Sonya rigging her house with a secret bunker and trap doors is smart and fits her character.

I like that the dragon logo has an integral meaning to the story.

Loved Jax vs Sub-Zero. Not mad about the origin change of Jax’s arms. I like that he had to work through his feelings of inadequacy and failure; people don’t just immediately bounce back after something that traumatic. I also like that his arcana manifests to protect Sonya rather than in the heat of battle. It shows his emotional priorities and what separates him from people like Kano who manifest their arcana in a fit of rage.

Sonya “Throw Hands on Sight” Blade lmfao. They nailed her fighting style too and I am happy.

Kano is the best thing about this movie. No competition.

Kotal reference!

Nightwolf reference!

Shang Tsung’s soul magic being black and wispy and foreshadowing Noob Saibot.

KANO DID THE HEART RIP

CHEKOV’S GNOME I’M SCREAAAAAAMMMMIIIIIINNNNGGGGGG

I love Liu Kang in this. He is 1000000% a Wholesome Boi. I like that he’s younger and unhardened and not the fully realized champion version of his character yet. Let him grow into it so it feels earned later on. I like that he’s the underdog, and I like what they’ve set up for him in the future. Also, the casting for him was perfect and they nailed his fighting style, too.

That little “the FUCK” that the Kano actor improvised(?) in the middle of Liu Kang’s lines made me laugh more than it should have. I don’t know why that moment got to me so much but it did.

I love Kung Lao. And they nailed his fighting style, too! Great to see variation that represents the characters (though there were less shining examples, which I’ll touch on later).

LOW SWEEP! LOW SWEEP! LOW SWEEP!

Egg roll scene is best scene.

Kabal! I love his dry humor. And his voice reminds me of Duke Nukem, which I’m not mad about. It complemented his dialogue well.

Not mad about Kung Lao’s death because it was meaningful. His fatality on Nitara was sick, too.

Liu Kang taking the ribbon from Kung Lao’s hat and wearing it in his honor, giving an origin for his signature headband is FANTASTIC.

THE PIT!

FLYING BICYCLE KICKS!

LIU KANG’S DRAGON FATALITY!

SONYA’S ENERGY RINGS!

Sub-Zero was a GREAT final boss. They really built him up appropriately to make him feel like it.

Scorpion’s fatality! And his skull face!

NEUTRAL

Not sure how I feel about Sub-Zero being wholly evil and there being no involvement from Quan Chi. It’s more straight forward for sure. It makes him an interesting (and badass) character, and I’m really behind this portrayal in that he is one of the most believable characters in the movie, but I’m not sure if I like the implications for later films in how this has simplified the dynamic in the entire Shirai Ryu vs Lin Kuei plotline. Having Quan Chi be the Machiavelli was always one of my favorite MK twists. And how do we eventually end the feud now? If Bi-Han / the Lin Kuei were wholly responsible, why should Hanzo EVER make peace with Kuai Liang down the line? The complexity feels like it’s been stripped down a bit, but I do love this iteration of Sub-Zero. I truly do. That’s why this is in the neutral category and not the negative XD.

Why didn’t Jax tell Cole when he saw the mark? Why wait until his family gets attacked? Maybe he didn’t want to do it in front of his family to keep them out of it, but that ends up endangering them more. Not a gripe, just a curiosity.

Sound editing was a bit too intense at times for my taste. I have tinnitus, so...big boomy bass with very mild voices is a chore for my ears to switch between. My ears were ringing within the first twelve minutes.

Torn between “fuck you Reiko” and “Reiko deserved better”. He deserved just a little bit better, but Skarlet says “get fucked” anyway.

I don’t like the “shaky cam” used in the fight scenes. Not my cup of tea. Very hard to visually process at times.

Whatever cosmic force is picking the champions for Earthrealm is doing a shitty job at it.

Why did they change the location of the Sky Temple to a desert? Again, not a gripe, a curiosity.

“We will not see another full moon before the tournament begins” THEN WHERE IS THE TOURNAMENT BUDDY???

Not sure how I feel about the “arcana” concept. It’s an okay plot device but kinda hammy.

Kitana’s fan! But why? Why is it there? I could understand the Kotal and Nightwolf references because Sonya has been researching, but why is Kitana’s fan randomly in an Earthrealm temple? Purely cheap fanservice.

Nitara was really cool. Shame she had to die, but her death was cool and there have to be some characters that get killed off. Wish she had more screentime though; feels like another instance of fanservice just having her show up basically as a namedrop and a quick kill.

The phrase “Are you okay?” was said WAY too much in this film. So much that I actually notices how often it was said, and I usually don’t pick up on these things.

Pretty sure a camera operator fell at one point in a Sonya scene because the camera jerked around violently all of the sudden then stabilized. Whoops.

How did Sub-Zero know to take Cole’s family to the gym? WHY did he take them there?

NEGATIVE

Opening scene was awesome, but it’s emotional impact felt stunted. I feel like the order of events should have been twisted a bit. Hanzo find his wife and son should have been the big emotional climax of the scene, but it felt like a passing moment and gave him no time to mourn and no time for the impact to truly set in with me. It was an “oh no they died” moment instead of an “ OH MY GOD THEY DIED THIS IS SO FUCKED FUCK YOU SUB-ZERO” moment. I dare say that the Legacy web series did it better in spite of their lower budget and overall quality; the series of events had better pacing and gave more emotional impact because of it. I said what I fucking said don’t @ me.

Wish we got more Scorpion. I love Sanada, I love him as Scorpion, but they didn’t give us the time we needed with his character to truly get a grasp of him.

Cole Young is like white bread in a parade of decorative cakes.

Raiden, a normally passionate and protective character whose fatal flaw is that he involves himself too much in events because he cares about the people in his realm and ends up fucking things up because of it, now seems to not care in the slightest. He feels completely uninvolved save for an occasional pop in to give a nod of disapproval. I don’t like this unemotional take on one of the most emotional characters in Mortal Kombat.

Small complaint from my perspective as a martial artist but uh...”Throw your uppercut!” was a bullshit line in a bullshit scene. If you’re locked up with someone like that and the guy has his arms around your neck, you physically cannot uppercut. You cannot fit your arms between his arms because they are cinched tightly around your shoulders/neck. YOUR HEAD is between your fist + bicep and HIS HEAD. In that situation, the guy has also left his body completely unguarded, so the most logical thing to do since you CANNOT reach his head is to go for BODY BLOWS. Beat him until he lets go to protect himself, catch his floating rib with double strikes, or punch the dude in his fucking liver as hard as you can to DROP HIM. Cole is supposed to be an experienced fighter, yet he makes one of the most rookie mistakes a fighter could ever make. Normally I wouldn’t care to point out mistakes in fight choreography or whatever because it’s MK and I expect ridiculousness, but this is the WRONG kind of ridiculous. It’s just NONSENSE.

I have SO MANY issues with Mileena. I’ll make this as short as I can. I don’t like the design of her mouth. I don’t like her weird stacked voice. She shows NO personality, not in her acting or even her fighting style, just an evil minion that got angry because she almost got her ass kicked. The turned one of the principle characters of the entire franchise and a fan favorite into a GRUNT. There is NO mention of Kitana outside of literal “fan”-service. Not even a reference to one of the most important plotlines in all of Mortal Kombat. And then they KILL HER OFF!!! When they do inevitably bring in Kitana WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY GOING TO DO SINCE THEY KILLED OFF MILEENA???? I’m heated and biased and they did my girl dirty.

Speaking of doing characters dirty, poor Reptile. They turned him into an actual animal. What a waste.

Why are they so mean to Sonya if she doesn’t have a mark? She wouldn’t be as much of a “liability” if they would take the time to prepare her and teach her how to defend against fighters that have unlocked their arcana. Mind-numbingly stupid logic.

This movie relies A LOT on prerequisite knowledge to work. It’s like they want fans to fill in the blanks for them. But not everyone watching is already a fan; this isn’t an obscure release, this is a blockbuster movie released worldwide. These gaps in lore and prior knowledge don’t make sense for such a broad audience.

Cole Young literally could have just been Johnny Cage.

Where was Raiden when his temple was being assaulted?

Cole’s arcana is LITERAL PLOT ARMOR IM FUCKING DONE

No but for real that’s the most boring decision they just ripped off Jax’s MK11 heater effect and Baraka’s blades (I know they’re tonfa and they aren’t attached and I DON’T CARE). Also, now he’s suddenly good at fighting again? After being dog shit this entire movie??? And tanks Goro?????

If Raiden is an Elder God in this continuity, why is he allowed to help Earthrealm AT ALL? It seems like favoritism and bends the rules that the Elder Gods are supposedly bound by way too much. They really just shouldn’t have made him an Elder God; I honestly think they just said it to introduce the concept without a fuck given towards the actual lore of the Elder Gods.

WHY DID RAIDEN TELEPORT KANO TO SONYA’S HOUSE AFTER HE BETRAYED THEM I HAD TO REWATCH THAT SEVERAL TIMES TO MAKE SURE I JUST SAW WHAT I SAW  WHAT THE ACTUAL NONSENSICAL FUCK

Cole REALLY should not have been involved in that last fight. Especially not after Scorpion shows up. It should have been Scorpion vs Sub-Zero ONLY for the final fight. Cole tag-teaming Sub-Zero with Scorpion cheapens Scorpion’s revenge.

Camera work in the final fight was not good, especially in the first portion. At one point Cole gets thrown into a fence, but it cuts to an awkward inverse angle that makes him look like he’s bouncing off of a trampoline. This continues to happen and ruins several shots for me.

Honestly Scorpion should have just possessed Cole. Permanently. No switching back and forth. No more Cole, only Scorpion.

PREDICTIONS

Lots of dead characters come back as revenants and / or with upgrades.

Kano comes back with cyber eye.

Mileena comes back with full teeth.

Liu Kang becomes MK champion, wins tournament, and kills Shang Tsung. As it should be.

Cole Young helps Liu Kang become champion somehow idk maybe he sacrifices himself or something just please don’t make Cole the champion I will start a riot.

Next movie will start IMMEDIATELY at the tournament since there was supposedly less than a month until the tournament starts in this movie.

New characters coming in will be Kitana, Shao Kahn, Jade, Quan Chi, Kuai Liang, Noob Saibot, Ermac, and Johnny Cage.

OVERALL

This movie was good, bloody fun! It’s not an A++ Oscar-winner, but if you expected that going into it, you played yourself. It was Mortal Kombat; it was stupid, it was gory, and I had a blast watching it. Kano and Liu Kang were the best parts of the movie for me, with Scorpion and Sub-Zero tied for third. Also I popped a lot for the cheap nostalgia hits. I’m overall satisfied with what we got in spite of my complaints, and I only complain so in-depth about the things I love lmao so trust me when I say I’m not actually mad, just nitpicky. I’ve watched it twice now, and I would watch it again. It’s like a 6.8/10 for me.

[starkeaton]

the adventure zone: graduation character list

Well, i accidentally deleted the original graduation character list post, so here i am making another one. Oops. And as always, if anyone has important details i should add then feel free to suggest them!

Here are all the characters introduced in episodes 1-25. Named characters only!

Also i can’t hide spoilers! So, um..... I can’t put spoilers on this one. If you need the version with spoilers try this version of the post that i made on the adventure zone subreddit but youre not missing out on much.

# -EPISODE 1- (19 characters)

Hieronymous Wiggenstaff (he/him): Head of the Hero/Villain school. at least 400 years old. wears shining blue armor with gold accents. also an elf. according to Tomas, he led the charge at the "battle of blood valley", brought the Kingdoms of Rickart and Dawnbreak to a peace treaty, and founded the school. a little boastful, a little prideful, [SPOILERS OMITTED], and overall a pretty good dude.

Higglemas Wiggenstaff (he/him): Head of the Sidekick/Henchperson annex, cranky old elf. has a dog named hero who shows no signs of anything strange at all, ever. 

Gary (he/him): friendly room gargoyle. pseudo-hivemind.

Groundsy (he/him): the groundskeeper. a pretty nice fellow. don't go in his shed.

Hernandez (he/him): beautiful centaur professor of animal handling.

Jimson (he/him): human battlegrounds trainer for sidekicks/henchpeople, world famous featherweight champion, wields a staff. married to crushman.

Crushman (he/him): silver dragonborn with a sickle, and self-described beefy boy! heavyweight blood champion married to jimson. never lost a match for 8 years. full name Frostus Crushman.

Rolandus Fontaine (he/him): former prince, son of deposed king, kind of an asshole, maybe. wears a cape (important detail)

Zana (she/her): "terrifying" tiefling villain sorcerer, friend of rolandus. barkept the test tavern in ep2

Rhodes (she/her): hero ranger, friend of rolandus.

Buckminster Eden (he/him): hero guy. son of "The Iron Lord". their dad is stronger than rolandus's dad. his wiki page says rogue so i think hes a rogue? i never caught that and ive listened more times than i wish i did

Leon (he/him): softspoken buff, bald "fighter" (although i dont remember any clarification on how exactly he fights), sidekick of buckminster, around 28. anyone else keep forgetting he's bald? i keep forgetting it. >!gets sorta-drafted into becoming a falcon for higglemas and so far hasn't done much else.!<

Rainer Michelle (she/her): cheerful villainous necromancer with a floating chair. also, her name is pronounced "rainier" despite not being confirmed as such? travis ships her with fitzroy.

Tomas (he/him): human man with "kind eyes" and a good (psychic???) memory. guidance counselor.

Stewart LeBoeuf (he/him): brawny human man. serves food. there is no joke here, i promise

Mulligan (he/him): teaches potions. mentioned but doesn't appear yet. and we're like 25 episodes in. maybe we'll see him someday

Germaine, Victoria, Rattles (he/him,she/her,???/???): Skeleton crew. They live in the training room i guess, and as a result can never die, because "no one dies in the training room!" (note: someone now HAS to die in the training room). also their races are never explicitly stated but i guess they're probably human? in episode 3 travis brings up something about how many bones are in "the human body" and at this point i think i'm looking too deep into this so i'll just forget about it and you probably should too.

# -EPISODE 2- (9 characters)

Riveau (he/him): halfling, blame-taking teacher.

Mimi (they/them): gnome sidekick who builds cool robot prosthetics

Bartholemus (he/him): owl aarakocra accountant teacher, known for being the best accountant in the land and having a face some might describe as "smoochable". very pro capitalist :’( hope he gets better

Ramos (she/her): goliath teacher of shieldwork. *

Dip (she/her): sidekick, half-orc twin of pip

Pip (she/her): hero, half-orc twin of dip

Festo (they/them): fairy with "beautiful gossamer wings", independent study teacher of magic, loves to party

Snippers (he/him?): Let me tell you my story about Snippers the magic crab. When Travis gave the list of animals that Griffin could choose as Fitzroy's familiar's current form, he listed crab near the start, and this gave me excitement. Now i knew that crab was pretty unlikely but god i hoped that he would choose it. When the list went on- Bat, Cat, Crab, Frog, Hawk, Lizard, Owl, Poisonous Snake, Fish, Rat, Raven, Seahorse, Spider or Weasel- I nearly lost hope. I was hoping so hard that Griffin would choose the crab, but i was ready to accept a non-crab familiar. It was just buried in that list. It wasn't the most useful animal and it was an obscure pick. And as Travis informed him that it didn't have to keep the form for the whole campaign, Griffin said those five words i wanted to hear so, so badly. "Well then it's a crab." Folks, I do not often react physically when something happens in media. But in that moment, i remember very clearly, i fist-pumped and yelled, "YES!!!!!!"

so anyway, Fitzroy has a crab.

Jackle (he/him): kenku teacher of sneakery. creepy dude. apparently knows something about argo? also his name is not spelled "jackal" for some reason. Also in later episodes theyve started calling him "The Jackle" for some reason??? *

# -EPISODE 3- (1 character)

Dakota (they/them): tavern instructor, clad in black/red leather. no race stated? probably human. *

# -EPISODE 4- (6 characters)

Gerry & Tom (she/her, he/him): shopkeepers at barns and nobles who seem to have very bad names. also constantly competing for customers? these guys got dropped faster than the heathcliff quests, which is honestly just sad.

Barb (she/her): the bartender. runs Springs Eternal in Last Hope. has a sweet seeing-eye hawk familiar. 

Jaryd Reginald (he/him): owner of Reginald Ore. Wants the workers to be held responsible for the damage caused by the xorn. (fun fact: originally i wrote down "Jerrod" because i wanted it to sound like a fantasy name, then realized it was probably "Jared" because theyre named after listeners, but i was pleased to find it confirmed that it's actually "Jaryd")

Candice (she/her): A Miner. thought those werent allowed in bars but, i guess not. Wants the mine owner to be held responsible for the xorn's damage.

Jade Johnson Esq. (she/her): lawyer.

# -EPISODE 5- (1 character)

Xorn: a big hungry gem eating guy from the plane of earth Low-Down Deep with 3 arms and 3 legs. why did travis just say "multi-armed" instead of specifying it was 3? who knows! Anyway it leaves

# -EPISODE 6- (3 characters)

Osric (he/him): the man, the myth, the bursar. finally shows up after being mentioned in episodes 2 and 4. he's an elf. 

breeze through the willows (she/her): Pegasus attacked by demons, lost her parents. introduced in ep1 but gets a name here so fuck it. also in ep>!16!< we find out shes a "white arabian pegasus" and i dont think thats a spoiler bc we shouldve really known it from the beginning

Sabor (he/him): Librarian/research teacher. also a TORTLE. Really good at recalling stuff, i guess. kinda reminds me of Tomas's memory thing but i'm sure that's just a coincidence... *

# -EPISODE 7- (1 character)

Mosh (he/him): The goliath blacksmith who welcomes argo into the unbroken chain. Also, and this is specific to the tumblr version of this post, all the characters with an * at the end of their descriptions are also members of the unbroken chain. if someone knows how to do spoilers on tumblr please tell me

# -EPISODE 8-

:)

# -EPISODE 9- (2 characters)

Eeiïäá#æ&éñn (pronounced like "Ian") (he/him?): an imp but without a shitty voice. also happens to not be violent. what a coincidence?

Terence (he/him): a chain devil with a real demonic name. minor boss of the imps. very convincing and very threatening. has the frightening ability to make you zone out during his fight

# -EPISODE 10- (2 characters)

Althea Song (she/her): elf with autumn-orange hair. representative from heroic oversight guild. i'd like to personally thank travis for spelling her name out.

Crabtree (she/her): Artificing teacher. Long gray hair with a long grey beard. no mentioned race, one might guess dwarf but that would be an assumption i suppose. also unbroken chain member, presumably the dwarf argo didn't recognize in episode 7.

# -EPISODE 11- (3 characters)

Marie (she/her): Grey-haired elf woman. She's the school's physician, i guess. Member of the unbroken chain.

Dendra Maplecourt (she/her): Fitzroy's mom. Has hot mint gum, i guess. She was mentioned earlier but i wasn't convinced she was a real person until this episode

Cool Gary (he/him): AYY ITS ME GARYR

# -EPISODE 12-

no new characters again!

# -EPISODE 13- (7 characters hhhyyyuu)

Kale (???/???): Head of the Placement Department, in charge of real world assignments. First mentioned in Ep4 but i missed that the last few times bc it is so brief. Gives exposition about missions i guess????? is that the only reason this chara cter exists

satyr thief (unnamed) (he/him): tries to rob thundermen, dies instantly

Ogre (he/him): teamed up with the satyr. his name is ogre.

Moon (he/him): A Sidekick. small pale sullen guy. no mentioned race. Why is there another FUCKING sidekick WE HAD ENOUGH hhhyuuuuuu

Deanna (she/her): A bigoted centaur with an obnoxious voice. Malwin the Strong's second in command.

Malwin the Strong (she/her): Leader of the centaurs of the scarlet woods. Wants to appease the spirit of the scarlet woods so that thecentaurs of the scarlet woods will be protected in the scarlet woods. Had a relationship with Arturas in the past but their clashes are currently known to get pretty heated.

Arturas (he/him): Leader of the Centaurs of the Valley, i guess. Had a relationship with Malwin. Centaur. Did i mention centaur? i cant think of anything else about this character

# -EPISODE 14- (2 characters)

Calhain (he/him): Human wizard, Malwin's magical advisor. Kind of an amateur wizard in a job high above his skill level. Graduated Wigginstaff's as a hero.

Spirit of the Scarlet Woods: A spirit who requires sacrifice in order to keep Malwin's herd safe and prosperous. Not keen on dubiously canonical combos, i guess. i wouldnt be either. also apparently the sacrifice depends on personal value, not how much value it has to the spirit.

# -EPISODE 15- (2 characters)

Sylvia Nite (she/her): Fitzroy's magic theory teacher at knight night school, who he turned into a catfish by accident. oops!

Chaos (they/them, maybe more): Presumably a deity, gave Fitz his powers and wants him to give in to his chaotic desires. (physical desc: 9 foot tall, iridescent 'mother of pearl' skin, pure white eyes, fine burgundy cloak with gold/onyx lining. their physical form beyond that seems to change every time they show up.)

# -EPISODE 16-

none -w-

# -EPISODE 17-

some demins happened. the big dudes are called "Pit Fiends" and the armored demon ladies are called "Erinyes", by the way. that was incredibly hard for me to figure out the first time, especially without headphones, i thought travis was saying "pig feet" and i just could not discern what the other things were

# -EPISODE 18- (6 characters)

snow on the mountain: shire horse pegasus

storm at sea: peruvian paso pegasus, vehement defender of The Guardian. doesn't have a goofy voice.. but he could have....

thaw of the spring: a winged horse

night of no clouds: a winged hhorse

The Guardian: "An ancient and powerful being that guards the unknown forest." Has protected the flock from demons for many many years. apparently is the voice that was talking to our firbolg in episode 1?

Grey, the Demon Prince (he/him): wants to cause a war, originally wanted to kill hiero and higgs, forces the heroes to build an army to fight his. As "Fauxronimous", he has skin the *color and pattern of* (but not necessarily made of) slate splashed with liquid, pointed ears, sharp teeth, shining eyes, horns of unspecified shape. 12 fucking feet tall. wonder if the slate-looking skin is related to garys. plot twist detected? Also i recently looked at the episode descriptions and found out his name is spelled "Gray", but really does it truly matter?

# -EPISODE 19- (2 characters)

Shabree Keene (she/her): Argo's mom, killed on the Mariah, possibly by the Commodore. Long auburn hair, green eyes. Mentioned earlier but described here, so fuck it.

**Thomas** (he/him): Argo's first mate on the Mariah, as the Kraken, in his chaos-dream. may or may not actually exist.

# -EPISODE 20- (1 character)

The Commodore (he/him): Reknowned hero of the seas, military regalia, great naval hero, presumably responsible for the death of Shabree Keene. No mentioned race. Seriously, they never mention this guy's race. The only thing described about him is how he's dressed and his evil smile. Does that mean he's human? Elf? Dwarf??? Who knows! maybe it just doesnt matter. 

# -EPISODE 21-

none

# -EPISODE 22-

not any of them. not any.

# -EPISODE 23- (1 character)

Ozymondelius (sp???) (it/its): A warforged teacher who just so happens to like war or something? i guess its in the name. only mentioned in this episode, doesnt show up yet.

# -EPISODE 24-

they have a fight in the training room but nobody dies :\\ maybe next time. also no new characters. pog

# -EPISODE 25- (4 characters)

Gherkin (he/him): Tall lankier skeleton, has a scimitar and a merkin, which is a pubic wig... and he wears a jerkin? which i guess is a kind of coat? also i think hes mute 

Tibia (she/her?) : Shorter skeleton with gold teeth, and long canines. i think both of the skeletons are mute actually.

The Lich King aka Gordy (he/him): Rainer's dad. Commands armies of the undead. lives in The Crypt. described as a hooded, skull-faced man with intricate black lines on his face, but changes to a shaved-head man with dark skin and vetiligo. Abandoned as a babby, raised by traveling parents, had necromancy powers, took Rainier in. Not actually very scary at all i don't know why he did the creepy laugh. Kind of a warm fatherly figure actually. hm. also people are speculating Gordy might be short for Gordita and his parents are maybe supposed to be lup and barry but THAT S JUST A THEORY.

our firbolg's father (he/him): A firbolg who lived by the code and was there when our firbolg was banished. Came to respect our firbolg's interest in a new way of life, in his final moments.

TOTAL: 72 NPCS! (well, including 2 extra PCs, i guess.)

Average: 2.88 NPCs per episode.

i was gonna not include the bone-PCs and have it be 69 but our firbolg's dad was just too important to not respect with a spot on the list.

anyway as always make sure to smack me with a blunt object if i forgot any characters!!!!!

[tactyl-ymon]

DnD session recap - Hearts and horizons

IT’S TIME TO D-D-D-D DND. Two sessions worth because the world is falling apart and I’d forgotten how to word for the last 3 months. Slight housekeeping thing, We’re down a wizard for the foreseeable future and one of the rogues is teleconferencing in for a bit because of personal stuff. I feel the need to tell everyone that between the 3 IT/networking admins in the group, it took us several hours to remember wired internet was more stable than wifi. Shame us. Shame us so it won’t happen again.

With that all out of the way, let’s get to it.

We left off in the aftermath of an emotional bombshell between Emmi and our sorcerer npc patron, Core with Emmi asking how long Core knew her mother was Sharona, one of current ruling council members. Silence hung in the air between them and with the emotional depth of a spoon Core silently take a step backwards, closes the door between him and Emmi and leaves the keep. With no additional information gathered, Emmi returns to whatever drink remains in her room for the night.

Early the next morning, Tornur and Veiraen return around the same time, Veiraen with his self inflicted chest wound and Tornur with healers kits for the group to counter Eridol’s complete failure to react and heal Veiraen after Septima went ape. With the group reunited we receive an urgent message from Core to meet him at the slyph tower, something bad happened. So everyone gears up in relative silence and makes their way to the giant tower outside principium that supposedly links the prison bubble we’re in to the rest of the outside world to find Core and the massive door to the tower having been cut to shreds from the outside. The sylph either unable or unwilling to tell them if anyone had come through recently asks if they would like to travel. Septima steps forward and answers that yes they would and that the thrum of magic pulling him would be closest to a place called the Jaunted Pillars, the sylph explains in their round about way that payment is required to travel, those touched by magic will find it easier but if a sufficiently powerful spell is cast anyone could technically make the trip. Between Septimas eagerness to find whatever missing piece is calling to him, Eridols need to beat something up and Tornur’s general badassary spells are cast on everyone unable to do it themselves and one by one they throw themselves down the slyph’s well with their destination in mind and after a completely innocent description about bodies joining as one and rapturous bliss and the vague feeling of drowning everyone drags their way out of the weird person shaped stargate and into what would have at one time been an exact copy of the tower they were just in … if it weren’t for the pungent and weird spongey material making up the walls that disappeared into the darkness above them.

While Emmi takes one look at the door and decides nobody has time for that, she splits off and starts climbing to try and find a window or hatch in the roof, she climbed hundreds of feet before finding a small ledge and anchoring a rope to it before letting everyone know. Meanwhile down in the peanut gallery we had decided to move on from ripping and tearing at the weird mushroom flesh and moved straight to trying to burn a hole through. As Whisky moves forward into the paltry hole we’d made so far and breaks into a coughing fit due to the noxious smoke being given off by the burning flesh, she falls to the floor screaming and convulsing. Tornur and Septima begin using their various magics to remove the smoke and Eridol rushes in without a thought to get Whisky out of the smoke. Using his last bit of strength before also succumbing to the smoke to throw Whisky out of the hole to an awaiting Veiraen. While Whisky froze and saw terrors, Eridol giddily laughed and began scooting around like an excitable child or a dog with worms. With all this going on the ground, nobody paid attention to the thick noxious cloud wisping its way up towards the roof and towards an unsuspecting Emmi clinging to a wall several hundred feet up. With a brief coughing fit and an unfortunate locking of the joints she falls. Unable to call for help or try to move, the seconds stretch and warp from the mushroom fog in her brain and gravity does its job. 100 feet, 200 feet, she falls 350 feet before Veiraen notices a glint of metal he recognizes moving far too fast for comfort and instinctively casts featherfall. Emmi slows immediately to a crawl, coming to a distinctly non violent meeting with the ground.

With two members of the group dealing with full body lockjaw and one scooting around on his shield like a tiny angry roomba, the still thinking members of the group decide to maybe stop burning through the fungus and give Emmi’s whole roof hatch plan a go after everyones able to move. About an hour later, the relative silence of the room is broken by 3 distinct groans and strings of words best not repeated as Whisky, Emmi and Eridol come out of their respective trances, all varying degrees of sore and weirdly less anxious than before huffing fantasy paint thinner. We all make our way up the inside of what was once a nice looking tower and up through a narrow bramble path towards the now blackened sky and clamber out into a clear, open space made up of dead trees and after a brief sigh of relief from leaving mushroom city, people start noticing things. Pieces of fragile silver looking material, larger than any of the party litter the dead branches and as everyone slowly takes in their surroundings and things click together, one by one they all silently turn towards the centre of the nest and see the gigantic unhatched egg and before anyone can yell to scatter an impossibly large bird the colour or a starlit night crashes into the nest, knocking Eridol unconscious with the blow. With the cleric down and a very large and territorial night roc to deal with, the group splits. Septima, Whisky and Tornur run interference while the rogues and the bird play a nice game of keep away with the sometimes near corpse of the tiny healer, now with authentic battle damage.

What little dips into consciousness Eridol did experience were spent trying to keep the Roc’s attention on himself with large damaging spells and heals as required for the others. With it’s attention divided, Whisky takes the initiative to stun the bird while Septima lashes out with vines from the tree to ground the bird in place. While the rest of the group takes to the sides of the nest to flee, Eridol bears down on the bird with quite a lot of misplaced fury. Both beaten and bloody and extremely near death, the bird begins scrambling back. Taking what would have been it’s precious last seconds of life to try and hide the unbroken egg in the centre of the nest. Seeing the mother try to protect its young snaps Eridol out of his rage and with shame thinking about what he almost did, he heals the bird slightly before leaving. In the time left on Septimas sealing spell. The group silently makes their way to a cramped little hole in the trunk of one of the large perimeter trees, as far as their weary legs will take them from the nest.

Not wanting to waste the moment and wanting to get this over with before the post fight shakes sets in, Eridol calls over to Veiraen to discuss where they stand. With the group tending to their wounds in the background and the oppressive silence of the forest around them, Eridol begins by thanking the drow for keeping him alive in the last fight before explaining about how Veiraen’s done things he can’t forgive. Since they’ve known each other, Veiraen has only ever acted in his own interests, often at the expense of others. The final straws being setting Eridol on fire while he was trying to cope with the latest death he hadn’t been able to stop and Veiraen running off to the forests to try and deal with his psychosis and endanger Septima and a new ally rather than ask the group for help. Emotionally, Eridol mentions that he will still try to keep Veiraen alive like everyone expects him to, but he doesn’t have to like the rogue or forgive him to do that. As far as Eridol is concerned, Veiraen is just part of a job now. The rogue quietly nods before heading back to the group, leaving the cleric to his attempts to contact the groups sorcerer patron as well as sending an apology to the roc for entering its home and endangering its as yet unborn child. If the roc ever needs assistance, it can find them.

With everyone asleep and Septima taking his usual spot of standing awkwardly over someone for the night like an overprotective gargoyle, Eridol takes a mostly uneventful first watch until Tornur gets up and mentions needing to go take care of something and Eridol still being a bit mortally wounded and vaguely concussed just groggily waves at him and slurs something about not taking too long. It’s maybe 30 minutes and two unanswered calls later when Eridol starts getting suspicious that it shouldn’t take this long to go to the bathroom and goes to boot up Septima to help find the wizzing wizard. Knowing how vast the forest is, Septima animorphs into a direwolf to track by scent and with his weary gnome jockey aboard they take off into the night hot on the trail of unwashed dwarf. After about 10 minutes the trail begins to go cold and they come across a piece of parchment stuck to a tree with “This one has been called. I’m sorry” written in a familiar script with the recently purchased bracers of defence and one of the necklaces the group uses to communicate. The only gift not returned was the crossbow Eridol gave Tornur which is brought up sulkily before the duo return to the group. Septima mentions Eridol should get some sleep as he returns to his weird t-posing gargoyles perch over whichever party member will get the biggest reaction upon waking up. While the party slept the remainder of the night away, the last traces of magic surrounding Whisky, the tiny feline monk disappear and she begins to grow to her proper tabaxi form in her sleep. Thrashing around silently like a horror movie creature, flesh contorting and stretching until her previously 2 foot tall frame maxing out the height slider just under 7 feet and she returns to peaceful sleep, at some point wrapping Eridol in her new lengthy tai as Septima passively watched the whole thing instead of intervening or waking the group because it was funnier to not get involved and he is seemingly powered by low level chaos.

Night turns to day and as is tradition and the silence is broken by a mixture of confused screaming and levels of dead eyed resignation normally only felt by retail workers at the nba all star who replaced the tiny monk overnight. The shouting only got worse once it was revealed that Tornur was gone, seemingly summoned by an unknown entity which will definitely never come up in the future. With no further surprises, the group packs up their camp and a whimsical “Follow your heart” sequence begins except its through the bad type of fairytale forest and we’re following the urges of a chaotic warforged with severe memory corruption. Several hours of trekking pass as the forest thins out and becomes less “evil” before we find a worn path through the forest which we begin to follow, still being guided by septima towards his missing piece until we see two figures off in the distance. After hastily diving into the shrubs to not be seen a plan is devised, one of the group is to get out on the path and walk towards the pair to see if they’re friendly while the others creep through the brush to jump in if required. Now obviously it has to be someone who looks the most harmless and disarming at which point everyone just turns and looks at the sometimes gremlin of a cleric and with a sigh, Eridol wanders back out to the path and begins walking as non threateningly towards what we now know are a human and a warforged. After about a minute of walking, the human sees Eridol and confusedly grabs some binoculars to confirm what he sees before promptly yelling and throwing up before both him and the warforged point their spears towards the now halted gnome who puts his hands up and begins yelling at the pair about being a bit lost and looking for somewhere to stay. 

Eridol carefully proceeding towards the pair trying to be as disarming as his crippling mental issues allow the human gets a look of recognition over his face. Proclaiming that he knows who the tiny cleric is and it’d been months since the gnome had come through on his religious quest. As Eridol tries to hide his sheer panic behind pleasantries about how he unfortunately doesn’t remember the hunter at the moment and that maybe they should introduce themselves. The construct just continues scanning the horizon but the human introduces himself as Jeremiah, current perimeter guard for the village of kincaid and that this is way above his paygrade so Eridol needs to come with him to see the village leader. Sensing a complete lack of hostility Eridol agrees, but first asks Jeremiah to not freak out over something real quick as he calls out to the rest of the party who were hidden in the undergrowth several feet away.

After the guard stifles a definitely manly shriek, his face gives way to recognition and curiosity as he seems to remember Veiraen and Whisky and then to pale reverence as he sees Septima. Before stuttering that they definitely need to inform the village leader about the group. The group and their new guide wind through the forest until they come across a village built in a clearing, cozy buildings and vegetable plots intermingle throughout the town as humans and half elves go about their business. An impossibly tall tree waving limply in the background, bands of decay and discolour damaging an otherwise pristine forest. Jeremiah leads Septima and by extension everyone else to the local tavern before excusing himself momentarily as he runs off and returns with an older looking half elven woman who exudes druidic power and introduces herself as Liana Cypher, current leader of Kincaid village and currently very confused as to how we’re all here, especially Septima because he left through to the sanctuary over a century ago and that should have been a one way trip to safety. If septima was capable of showing emotion he would have assuredly been annoyed as he matter of factly informed the druidic leader that where they had come from was no sanctuary, but rather a prison that we had escaped from through the magical equivalent of a secret tunnel and that Septima was being pulled somewhere close by whatever approximates a gut feeling in a magically animated mannequin. This gets Liana’s attention and she asks if Septima would like to talk in private while the rest of the group got settled in the few rooms available in the inn. Eridol spends his time deep in prayer frustratedly asking for guidance and receiving nothing. Veiraen slowly meditating through a song on his violin about the connection he had with whatever was inhabiting his prior sword. As the song reaches its peak he sees the briefest echo of the spirit of Cricket smiling at him before it fades away. While the angsty teens do their thing, Whisky and Emmi sample the local wines and ales … for research purposes, obviously.

Septima and Liana make their way through the remainder of the town towards the great deku tree, Liana going through how for the last few hundred years people have been drawn to the tree and it was supposed to lead to a safe haven but since Septima and his cohorts had gone through over a century ago, the tree and its surroundings had slowly started showing signs of disease that the abilities of the town could only slow but not cure, almost like there was something within the tree itself leeching the life out of the forest. As they reach the base of the great dying tree, the reverberations within Septimas’ soul seem to harmonise with ... something. Whatever he has being pushed towards is so close, almost close enough to reach out and touch, but as his hand grazes over the tree it can only feel the barest traces of life travelling through what he knows should be a vibrant spectacle of life. Liana asks if Septima would need to travel again like last time and is met with a brief murmur of agreement as he contemplates what needs to happen. The pair begin their short journey back to the tavern, with Liana reminiscing about the first time Septima had come through on the way there before bidding the group goodnight and leaving Septima to wrangle several drunk/passed out teammates which are promptly ushered/thrown into their respective rooms for the night. Come morning and septima lays out the plan, we need to travel into the great tree but make sure not to complete the journey to find what he needs and to help save Ostaria from the whole “reality shattering and destroying everyone” thing we had been sent to fix. With everyone in agreement, a message is sent and Tacty’l Ymon soon find themselves at the base of a once great tree alongside Liana who mentions that to find what they seek, they will need to trek to the top of the canopy and jump. Which is met with varying degrees of enthusiasm from the group. They travel for the better part of 30 minutes up the side of the tree until they reach the near bare canopy and look down a familiar well shaped tunnel through the innards of the tree ending far deeper than the trunk or physics would allow. Eridol feels his thread of divinity thrum slightly and he makes a silent prayer before imparting a mote of protection onto Septima. Liana asks if the group is ready and begins the ritual required to open the path between planes. With a whisper she proclaims “Fall through the leaves like sunlight and be reborn in the roots” and runs a dagger up her forearm, silver liquid spilling out and falling down the trunk in a solid sheet before ushering the group to jump into the definitely real portal that’s down there in the dark. One by one they fall through the darkness for what feels like hours before taking what feels like a hard bend and stumbling out in a heap into an endless flat expanse with no visible source of light. Withered near identical trees waving slightly despite the lack of a breeze spot the otherwise empty landscape as the Septima feels a strong tug and begins moving towards the horizon with the group silently in tow. Time seemed to stretch and contract around them, making it impossible to get a bearing on how long they marched past the near identical trees after what seemed like weeks or hours a blip on the horizon appears and grows into a seemingly dead and petrified version of the tree they had fallen through to get here. A malformed knot of flesh and stone rings the considerable tree like a cancerous growth. Shifting and unfurling as we approach. Before us stands a mostly decayed large red dragon, what little flesh remains is mottled with patches of stone and petrified wood, fusing it to the base of the tree and keeping the dragon in place. It’s cold undead eyes pass over the group, lingering on everyone but Emmi before resting onto Septima, both feeling the pulsing connection that ties them together, a piece of Septimas essence hidden deep within the dragon. A booming voice pierces the stillness of the place. The dragon introduces itself as Nerglyth and it would like to be free. We all learn that several hundred years ago it was held here by Septima, Fulgür and Fafnir and that over time the dragon had found itself being used as energy for the tree, until the dragon found that could go both ways and began leeching energy out of the tree and memories of those who had travelled through it. Nerglyths voice was all encompassing as it tried to goad Septima into finishing what he started before turning to smile at Eridol and ask if he was here to make another sacrifice and we were offered a choice, complete the ritual it needed to leave and we can have the piece of Septimas soul keeping it tethered here. It just needs two more lives, paltry in the grand scheme of things really. The semi petrified red dragon began to shift and extend itself away from the tree which in addition to proving how utterly gigantic it was also allowed a low hanging branch to come into view of the group. The branch contained 2 figures hanging from nooses along the branch, one almost ethereal and one fully visible. Free hanging nooses are visible throughout the rest of the tree. Veiraen and Emmi both recognised the bodies at the same time as the children taken to be sacrificed by the mistress and her makeshift coven as Eridol becomes transfixed by the girl swinging in the noose. The girl he had to use to complete part of the ritual leading to a possible escape to the material plane. Regret and anger and shame tunnel his vision until all he can see is the girl. Both he and Septima put themselves forward as sacrifices, each wanting this to be over and not willing to let someone innocent take their place. As they wordlessly begin their walk towards the dragon, Eridol falters slightly. A small surge of recognition making him take stock of the situation they’re in. Whatever this creature is, it is definitely undead and extremely powerful. For an abomination to be this smart isn’t unheard of, but letting it loose into the world is to be avoided no matter what. Eridol stops and says as much to the group, much to the disappointment and anger of the dragon. Over Nerglyth’s snarls and insults, Eridol goes to turn back to the group asking Septima to come with them, there has to be another way to fix this and they know what they’re up against. Septima continued forward towards the behemoth undead figure until they are feet apart and with a shout of “Get the heart!” begins shifting into something more wild, but Nerglyth as smart as he is saw the betrayal coming and a wave of necrotic ice washes over the druid and most of the party in an instant. The ground erupting into slippery jagged shards impeding all but Whisky from moving freely and with a roar the fight for our little piece of reality begins. Whisky and Emmi take up the offensive as Septima begins searching for what brought us all here. Both Veiraen and Eridol have major issues with the terrain, either from the rancid icy breath or draconic shouts that tore at the ground beneath them, leaving them buried up to the neck. As Veiraen and Eridol worm their way to freedom, Septima gets a lock on his missing piece from deep within the dragon and shifts into a mouse to more easily search the colossal moving carcass. The group continues their assault to distract the dragon with Emmi leaving wounds that would gravely injure other foes and the others doing what they do best, annoy anything larger than themselves. Septimouse slowly creeps through the putrid organs, careful to not draw attention to themself until they finds a small pulsing orb and it’s at this exact moment the dragon notices a missing warforged and the group watches in terror as it unleashes a torrent of gross mourning breath into its own ribcage, slamming into Septima with enough force to revert from his mouse form and knock the druidic construct unconscious. The spark of divine protection doing its job and bringing him back from the brink of death, but it’s too late, the stone binding Nerglyth to the tree snaps and sloughs off its form. A life has been given as required and freedom is so close. A surge of necrotic energy lashes in towards the barely conscious druid, leeching what remaining energy the druid had. WIth the last few moments before fading into unconsciousness, Septima reaches out for his missing essence, hands grasping at the shard inches away from his fingers and he sees a large draconic claw reach in and pluck it away. The group watches in awe as the dragon begins limping back towards the tree that held it for so long, Emmi Veiraen and Whisky trying to slow it down and inflict as much damage as possible, while a panicked Eridol reaches around his holy symbol and plucks part of his own essence, forcing it unceremoniously through a hole in the dragons chest and into the still twitching body of Septima. The drid makes a hasty exit through one of the freshly gaping wounds left by the group or the dragon itself and can only watch as Nerglyth presses the shard of Septimas essence up to the trunk of the tree and with an earth shattering kaboom a tear in space forms within the trunk. Booming laughter echoes through the landscape and in an instant Nerglyth is gone. The pressure of the tear grows stronger and stronger as this small pocket of reality collapses in on itself. Septima instantly shoots out a wall of vines to try and stop everyone from being sucked in, but the pull is too strong as both he and Veiraen tumble along the ground and tree towards the rip in reality. Knowing how close the dragon was to redeath, Veiraen desperately throws his daggers through the void as both he and Septima catch themselves feet from the opening. Septima reaches out for the sliver of his soul that had trapped Nerglyth here as a large coil of rope rushes past them before snapping taut. Eridol, Whisky and Emmi acting as anchors from their restrained spot on the ground giving them something to climb away from the yawning hellmouth. The pull of the hole only gets stronger as they begin making their way back up the rope and Septima dislodges his fragment from the tree. What little is left of this sparse landscape continues to fold in on itself as time bungee corded around as Septima becomes more self absorbed than normal and for the first time in centuries is whole again. He opens his hand and another smaller portal opens near everyone and they all tumble through at the last possible second for dramatic tension. The silent blank reality pocket is replaced in an instant with the sound of waves lapping on a shore. As one, they look out over the ocean in front of them and see a clear division of sea and air. A horizon that wasn’t there the last time they stood on the shores of Ostaria. Eridol excitedly contacts Core to tell him that they did it, they fixed everything and is met with incredulous joy from their sorcerer companion. The walls surrounding Ostaria had been gone for over a month, Core had been trying to contact us every day since trying to get an update. Tacty’l Ymon stands silently on the beach as Core congratulates them. They had done it. Hundreds of thousands of lives got to continue without the immediate threat of reality collapsing around them. We end the session with Eridol and Septima falling over laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation with the remainder of the group following suit shortly after.

[thequeenofmyownscreen]

“Life...needs things to live.”

Episodes 57 “Duskmeadow” to 64 “The Frigid Doom”.

Previous posts : the beginnings, episodes 22 to 32, episodes 33 to 36, episodes 37 to 42, episodes 43 to 49, episodes 50 to 56.

I realized, with that handful of episodes, I’m halfway through campaign 1. How time flies !

Vax had a little talk with the Raven Queen, in her cathedral. The design and atmosphere of the cathedral is... Black walls on the outside but translucent on the inside ? Silent servants dressed in black veils ? A pool of blood to communicate that you have to immerge yourself into to talk with the goddess ? It's AMAZING. Vax feared so much his coming home to the Raven Queen. But she actuallys seems comforting, or at least that’s the impression I got. But I know that this character has a lot of anxiety, and he can’t stop worrying even if he wants to. The Raven Queen is good at reading the psychology of Vax. I said before, seeing his actions, he has a death wish sometimes. Maybe this was his destiny after all and not a forced choice. Vax seems to believe in that fate, but another problem emerges, based on subsequent conversations : it could drove a gap in his and Keyleth’s relationship... Keyleth is more of a “fate is what we make of ourselves” kind of woman.

I was surprised when Percy wanted a little talk with the goddess of death ! He feels responsible for Vax’s choice, but guilt led him to interfere with someting that was not his. And he is also afraid of himself, of his dark side. In any case, the Raven Queen’s answer decided him to not trust a higher power either. The discussion on faith in Vox Machina as an ensemble is interesting, as seen also in Keyleth and Pike’s discussion. Some trust, some mistrust and prefer to look in themselves for strength, or in their friends (Percy said he doesn’t think the gods will help him, but maybe Vax can).

Ok, so the twist with the rakshasa (jazz hands) was totally unexpected and awesome and stressful. When Gilmore woke Vax up at 3 in the morning just to have a talk, I was like “weird” but thought not further. It was only seconds before the attack itself that I said to myself “wait...that doesn’t sound like Gilmore at all !” and then he stabbed Vax. It was also a fun and challenging battle because almost everyone took one turn to wake up, and they were far away ! And they’re not finisehd with the rakshasa, since it’s unkillable except in the Nine Hells.

Scanlan and Pike finally discussed their problems. As Vex and Pike agreed, this gnome is VERY charming. But Pike has another mysterious crush ! (everyone tried to get her to admit who it is, but not even Grog could get her to tell) Also, Scanlan had time to analyze his feelings towards Pike and realize the way he sees her. I still think he’s in love with her, but his midlife crisis with his estranged daughter appearing forced him to realize that the respect he has for her as a person could not intertwine with gestures like a proposal out of the blue. Affaire à suivre...

The Feywild was fantastic. First, Garmelie/Artagan is a delightful character, even before the big twist at the end of the voyage. The deal with a hat-stealing task, and the clever way Vox Machina escaped from the “threshold crest” part were brillant. Also, this :

What Garmelie said to not do under any circumstances :

- Go to the Last Campsite of Sorudun the Happy

- Go to The Hut of Wodenna

- Visit the theater

- Cross path with lycans and faeries

What Vox Machina has done : everything above except visit the theater, much to Liam’s chagrin.

The war between the pixies and the lycans was surpringly violent. And Vox Machina tried the Keyleth way of things, not rushing to destroy the pixie village to satisfy the werewolves, but make it seem like they did. Well, that didn't work and also was worse because they litteraly got caught by the pixies on their way back to destroy their village. Sometimes, you need a Keyleth. Sometimes, when pixies are assholes, you need a Grog (and not the Grog who tried the diplomatic way and spent 20 minutes turned to stone). Also sometimes, you get your ass nearly kicked by pixies, because that battle did not start well.

I was excited for the group to arrive to Syngorn and meet the twins' father. Would he be as bad as they depicted him to be ? And the answer was yes. I mean he wasn’t intentionally hurting them, but he is cruel and do not think first of their well-being, second only or third after how he and his family is seen in this elven society. Vex’s speech was heart-wrenching. And Percy titled her “Baroness of the Third House of Whitestone and Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt” and mic dropped the conversation ! He truly was what she needed : a rich boy who unnderstand how to get rich people respect you. There’s a fondness in their relationship that is great to see. Percy saw her insecurities just as Vex saw blood behind Percy’s ear and correctly deduced that he went talking to the Raven Queen. If anything, the battle against Sondur the supremely creepy would indicate that, on Vex’s part, there is much more than affection and flirting.

Sondur’s words were cruel to Vex'ahlia. It is af he knew all her insecurities and amplified them : her desire to belong into society, her want of a social status, her love of gold and sometimes greed, but also her wanting to protect her friends and not lead them to their death. And for his part, he was an embodiment of the rejected guy who thinks everything can only go to him. It’s funny to see that Laura felt bad that Vex attacked first and provoked the battle but everyone was quick to reassure her, and I agree with them : Sondur was a dick. I am intrigued however, as Grog asked, to know what was Sondur saying about Vex and a bloody dagger ?

Back to Whitestone, we learn, thanks to Seeker Asum surviving life in Emon under Thordak's rule, that the city itself seems to be transformed from the tyranny of the red dragon. And Thordak knows that Umbrasyl is dead, and he sent his forces eastward. As soon as he said that, I was like “hum... guys...maybe expect an attack on Whitestone ??” and then Vorugal and an army of wyverns were spotted. That was very tense ! Thank the gods for Allura and Gilmore’s magical capabilities. It was basically a reenactment of the Blitz in London, with Vox Machina building underground bunkers in Whitestone and setting up an alarm system. And spreading the fake news (yikes, pre-Trump election) of the group’s whereabouts, or putting the war room inside the anti-magic field of the ziggurat was very smart. They are going to be more and more paranoid. Well, you know what they say : it’s not paranoïa if you’re right !

The idea of a detour by Draconia while Vorugal is certainly not there is a good one. I was more worried about the manner of which they were going, because according to Keyleth's scrys, only destruction waited for them there. The lack of response on Tiberius' part could have mean many things, but I already had a bad feeling... Their entrance was chaotic : the idea of attaching the rope in Whitestone to rappel down the ravine but the rope being cut due to the portal closing, disguising themselves as dragonborns with tails (by using Seeming) when all the survivors have no tail, and also only one of them can speak Draconic. Vox Machina may be heroes sometimes, but they’re ridiculous some other times. It is true, they haven’t done any research on the Draconia society before going there, but the reality seems vastly different from the little pieces that Tiberius let them (and us) see : the gap between the Sky-walkers (yes, like in Star Wars) and the Ravenites seem far from the arcane paradise I imagined. And in any case, since the white dragon’s rise... the image painted by Matt is apocalyptic : a perpetual winter, bodies of dragonborns left frozen on the ruins... including Tiberius Stormwind, of Draconia. It was Taliesin that got a natural 20 on perception for Percy : I rewatched that scene later when we know what is whispered, because I was not paying attention to his face the first time, and it's clear that he got a bad news. How painful it was to know that he was waiting in silence and making sure that the dragon would not see the disapperance of Tiberius’ body, before asking that the corpse be brought down. Vox Machina laid Tiberius into the remnants of the library. He was my least favorite character but the scene was poignant and sad. And with that, the threat of the dragons seem to grow only larger, and the fight more desperate. 

Quotes :

The ladies want to dress up for a formal dinner in Whitestone. Marisha : “The ladies take, like, 20 minutes.” Travis : “Let’s be honest, it’s 2 hours.”

Vax, as 'Gilmore' is acting weird : “Can I make an insight check ?” Matt : “You would, if you had time...”

Matt's intro for the episode after : “Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons and occasionally get shivved by a rakshasa.”

Pike as she gets ready to stay behind and be separated from Vox Machina, and Ashley to get back to New York : “Any time you need me...ish, I will try to be there.”

Sam/Scanlan, very proud of himself, to Ashley/Pike : “Let Pike get rid of this blind spot so we can all be together again !”

Scanlan, to Percy : “I don't want to be haunted ! That’s for you and Vax.”

Devana asks each of them for their name and choice of tea. Sanclan : “I am called the Kingslayer... Chuck Norris... Burt Reynolds. I have many names ! You see, when you’ve traveled a road as long as I have–” Devana, cutting him : “Black tea, got it.”

Vex, to her father : “If I could pull the blood of you from my veins and give it back, I would. I want no part of you.”

Scanlan : “We all sleep together, it's a polyamorous thing”. I mean, the fanfictions will write themselves, guys !

Keyleth angered the grass and Percy had to sweet talk the grass so that they could pass through : “Lovely field, I apologize for the rudeness of my compatriots. We will be gentle, trouncing through you. We will make as little mark as we can and enjoy the splendor of your ever-changing colors. You are majestic, you are windswept (I’m flirting with grass !!) you are everything I could hope for in a beautiful view.”

Scanlan inspired himself (he can do that now) by chanting this to the tune of ‘Alexander Hamilton’ : “Scanlan Shorthalt, I’m a gnome. My name is Scanlan Shorthalt, I’m a gnome. There’s a million chicks I haven’t boned, but just you wait [the others join], just you waiiiiit.”

Critical Role without context : “This creature’s pretty profound at swallowing larger entities, so that’s fine”.

Scanlan : “Do you care more about the broom than me ?” (Laura whispered, whithout even stopping to think : “The broom”)

Scanlan’s limerick to inspire Grog : “A warning from your favorite bard :/in the Feywild, you should be on guard/I went off to take a shitter/and saw, like, a thousand Critters/And they kind of made me hard !”

Scanlan : “I will heal Vex, with an inspirational quote. Something Percival once said a long, long time ago : ‘Life needs things to live’. That’s it, that’s the whole quote.”

Scanlan also insulted Sondur using a Shakespeare insult generator : “Oi, you fobbing elf-skinned flapdragon ! You paunchy ill-breeding lewdster ! You unmuscled reeling ripe mumblenews !”

Percy, to Grog : “Your mind is a grandfather clock, you know that.” Grog : “Thank you.” Percy : “It’s correct twice a day, easily.”

The dragonborn leader : “Here are your choices : you die here like the scum you are...” Vex : “Choice B.” The dragonborn leader : “Then slavery it is !”

Tooma, the dragonborn leader, to Vox Machina who definitely does not have a plan : “If you come here to kill this dragon, I assume you have the means and a plan.”

Things that are just really cool/funny :

Scanlan and Percy still want to steal an airship. While I still think it would be SO COOL, I do agree that it’s pointless at this time since Keyleth can transport them pretty much anywhere.

The Sun Tree with a Californian surfer voice continues to be the greatest joke.

Scanlan leaped from the balcony with his sword to attack the rakshasa 80 feet down below. What a move !

The Deathwalker’s Ward has now black wings and Vax can fly. The funniest thing, besides everyone’s faces, was Vex’s meltdown (“He can fly ?!!! HE can fly ???!!!!!”)

Scanlan gave Vex a pointy hat. So iconic. I know the fanart won’t disappoint me at the next intermission.

Percy finished the ameliorations to Vex’s broom, and he inscribed the name on the handle : Death from above.

Grog says “bidet” instead of “good day”. Yes, it’s hilarious.

Vex and Vax’s half sister, like all children created by Matt Mercer, is so cute !

Matt said ‘lycans’ and Travis made a face like he was a 5 year old seeing dinosaurs for the first time.

Ways they tried to cross the river : flying on a broom, flying with wings, leaping, casting Control Water, fastballed special with Bigby’s Hand, teleporting with the Inmovable Rod and attaching the Endless Rope to it, Grog just throwing people (that worked way better).

Someone made a replica of the Fenthras bow for Laura. That’s. Just. Awesome.

Meta :

I wondered what happened in the US at the beginning of episode 57, since the cast did a tearful and wonderful message for the LGBTQ+ community. I researched it later (it was the Orlando shooting at the Pulse).

Is Marisha the only one taking notes when Matt is delivering details ? When Allura talked about the ziggurat she was the only one.

Right back into Hamilton Mania when the cast sings “The Room where it happens”.

I think it’s the first time that the alignment of the characters has been mentionned. We learn that Vex is chaotic neutral, and that apparently has its importance for her attacks against the rakshasa.

They’re doing their first live show ! I know they have done lots of them, because I once saw on tumblr a gifset of “best of Marisha's outfits to live shows” or something like that, and also one gif where Sam wore... something... with feathers. But anyways, I’m excited !

Apparently Liam game mastered a one-shot when there was a pause between episodes 58 and 59. I think for now I’ll stay on the campaign course... But I’ll definitely see this one shot someday (probably when I’ll go through withdrawl at the end of campaign 1)

Episode 61 was the episode after they went to San Diego Comic-Con and almost everyone, Marisha most of all, had a “I spent 2 days talking screaming partying and having lots of fun” gravely voice.

The first live show ! It’s a different energy with an audience laughing and reacting live. First of all, it’s comforting to see so much people loving the same thing you do, second it’s adorable to see the cast flustered in front of the audience.

​Laura to her husband : “If you fucking get my broom lost because you told me not to go, I’m going to murder you. And this is not in character. This is me telling you that.” Later, since the broom had stopped working and Laura was making the most ridiculous faces, Ashley gestured to Travis to flee off the stage, but Matt said the broom works just fine. Laura : “Thank you Matt, for saving a mariage.” I just love their relationship. The whole scene is just incredible.

Marisha bought dice at Indianapolis during the convention and rolled terribly on those two episodes in a row. Laura’s advice was to not use them anymore. Matt’s was : “No. Make ‘em work for you. You paid for that shit !”

They did another live episode ? Pretty much right after the first one ? Legends only. But the room was much larger, it seems. Plus this time Ashley was there ! (Liam was not there)  

Everytime the cast research something in their notes, it’s so funny. Generally Marisha has the answer (because she seems to write everything down) but sometimes Sam’s notes are useful too.

The cast is once again making fun of Matt’s characters’ name, with Seeker Asum.

Taliesin rolled another natural 20 (not even with the “Golden Snitch” dice). Matt : “Oh, it’s not the dice anymore. We all know that you’ve somehow gained the favor of some Aztec deity that’s trying to reclaim its foothold in the current-day pantheon through you.”

Number of Vestiges of Divergence acquired : 4 (Vax wears the armor Deathwalker’s Ward, Scanlan wields the sword Mythcarver, Grog has the Titanstone Knuckles, Vex will use Fenthras). Number of Vestiges still to be found : 4.

[lorethcrow]

Post Legion

Part 8 -Undercity 

(DISCLAIMER! THERE’S BLOOD AND GORE IN THIS BIT! And Blight, and sad things. And foul language. Have a tissue.)

Word had reached most of the residents of Undercity long before the guards started to evacuate citizens. Sava was just finishing up packing the last of the garden into pots with Varn when Feley came rushing out to them. Her hands moved rapidly with the same sign over and over again. DANGER DANGER DANGER

“Shit. Varn, we’re out of time. I’ll get the portal, you get ready to move the plants. Feley, can you help us?” Sava didn’t even bother to dust her hands up, she just moved over near the runes she had drawn on the wall of the guild hall to help anchor a hasty portal.

Feley looked between the plants Varn was shifting closer to where the portal would be and back toward the front door, her stitched face clearly drawn into deep concern. Shaking her head as she came to decision, she reached a hand up to the sword hilt behind her shoulder. The blade was etched deeply with wicked runes and glowing in the same deathly-blue as her eyes. Briefly resting her hand on Sava’s shoulder and then Varns, the motion clearly a farewell, she raced toward the guild’s front door where sounds of fighting could be heard now.

Her fingers raced through the spell, the portal to her tower’s new location practically being ripped open, Sava watched where Feley had left. “Shit… SHIT! Varn, just throw the damn plants. All else fails, I get you new ones.” A violent motion of her hands and the portal opened wide enough that the two women could get the rare plants through easily. 

A crashing sound rattled the very ground they were standing on as part of the tower crumbled from artillery strikes. “FUCK! She wasn’t kidding! Forget the damn plants, Varn, get through NOW.” Both women jumped through the portal, leaving Undercity behind as sections of the wall fall away.

Closing the heavy wooden doors behind her, Feley nodded once she heard the women leaving. Good. Leave and be safe. Neither of you should be in this war. Clattering of armored boots on cobblestones draw Feley’s attention away from the door. She turns to see the Alliance footmen run around the corner with their weapons raised and anger written all over their faces. And so it begins. I had hoped to leave before they reached our toward. This must be forward scouts. Running from them, their crossbow bolts bouncing off her armored robes or clattering off ruin walls, she led them through the labyrinthian streets of Lorderan. This way, boys. Let’s get you back to your army. It’s not safe to be out here so far from them.

A clearing ahead of her, once upon a time likely a marketplace, exploded in a wave of green fog. BLIGHT?! Just beyond the growing pool of plague, Feley could see the other Alliance forces beginning to flea toward the gates.

Her lich-fire eyes wide, she watched as the green cloud flooded toward the corridors of the Lorderon ruins. The footmen were far enough behind her they had no chance to see it in time but that meant they would be running into their death. Think!! They can’t die to this. It’s not right!! Gripping her heavy runic blade tightly, she reached out with her mind to find any dead forsaken she could manipulate. A few dead grunts from the orc army, a handful of fallen trolls, and then she felt them. An entire squad of deathguards! Using the unholy power within her, Feley commanded their soul-less bodies to rise again just as the Alliance came within sight of the Blight nearing her boots.

All of her reanimated minions dropped their weapons and began rushing toward the Alliance, arms crossed over their faces so that they could form a wall and push the guardsmen away from the Blight. Not being able to speak and tell the humans they were nearing their death, that the fog rolling toward them was so much, she had to resort to almost-violence. Harm none.Grab them and carry! Get them to safety!! Her mental commands urged her minions to grab for arms and ankles, bodily picking up the struggling humans to carry away from the fog that she was trying to keep back with wide swings of her sword.

Someone amongst the attackers saw what she was doing and that the undead were not harming but trying to help, finally shouted. “It’s BLIGHT lads! We need to LEAVE! NOW!” The fact that Feley turned and nodded, giving a thumbs up, was all the encouragement they needed. LEAD THEM OUT! THE GATE! Her minions pulled on arms and shields toward the gates with Feley bringing up the rear, doing her best to slow the Blight’s advance.

A shaman stood beside her, a dwarven man with the most fabulous beard she had ever seen, and summoned an air elemental to help keep the Blight back. Patting him gently on the shoulder, she pointed to another road that was also filling with the green gas.

“Lass… We’re going to die here, aren’t we?” An injured footman came to her other side and fanned his shield. Her only response was a very fervent shake of the head. “My leg is broke an’ there’s no way I can keep up. Leave me here ta help keep this damned Blight back.”

Both Feley and the Dwarf looked at the man and then each other before Feley closed her eyes again. There had to be more dead she could draw on … and yes, there were. Orcs, Tauren, Elves, and Trolls, humans as well, but she refused to desecrate their bodies. The only corpses she would re-animate were those of other Forsaken and she managed to find a few more that had fallen in battle. The minions she had summoned before were weakening even as they continued to urge the Alliance members to safety, some of the dead leaving pieces behind as they hobbled along. Creating new minions from the fallen forsaken around her let Feley used one as a guide to the exit, two on either side of the Alliance to warn of any Blight, and then two more to carry the injured man that was trying to help.

Her strength was fading though her control was iron, the lich-blue of her eyes dulling to small embers but still she helped the Shaman repel the blight. As soon as the gate house came into site she gave the dwarf a push toward it.

Alarms rang through the mental control she had over the minions and Feley watched in horror as a massive wave of Blight overtook the walls of the ruined city. Her minions pushed the humans faster and any that fell were quickly picked up and carried until they found their own feet. Feley, knowing her minions would not be fast enough carrying the wounded soldier, scooped him out of their fireman carry and tossed the larger human over her slight shoulder. Undeath had it’s advantages and one of them was empowered strength. Though the man was larger than her she was able to carry him easily at a half-run. Her minions rushed passed the rest of the Alliance army to try and make a physical barrier to the Blight and buy them time. As the Blight hit them Feley could feel their bodies melt away, the damage so bad she lost connection with them.

Forgive me. You deserved better. I will not let your sacrifices be a waste. These men have more to live for then we did and I will see them safe. Her grip tightened on the man she carried and as the last minion faded from her control, she felt the strength returning. The rest of the Alliance army was streaming from breaks in the wall and the gate house, running down the hill behind the group she was escorting.

Before her, crossbows were loaded and aimed by the reserve units even as the guards she helped shouted that she was trying to help. Mistrust poisoned the arrows and she knew they had every reason to hate her. Behind her though, she could hear men and women coughing on the Blight and could feel their life forces weakening. This is not my war. These are not my people but how can I let them die?! Turning on her heel she ran to the farthest back Alliance member that had fallen, the Blight almost barreling her over even as she reached to pick up the fallen human. His coughing was horrid, blood splattering her armored robes, but she threw him over a shoulder and jogged to the next fallen member. This one, an elf that struggled weakly even as Feley hoisted her over the other shoulder, retched mid-cough and Feley knew neither of them had long.

Never have I been grateful for my curse. This strength, I can save them. I can save others. I will save them all if I can! Nearing the edge of the Blight a crossbow bolt buried into her stomach but she ignored the shaft as she carefully laid down the injured. Beckoning a hand to the nearest soldier she pointed to the coughing elf and then ran back into the green cloud of Blight. If I could only speak! She didn’t stay long enough to see if they understood her meaning, the fallen short on time and she knew she was the best to help them. I’ve never thought of my undeath as a gift.

With how thick the Blight was, Feley never would have seen the gnome if she hadn’t coughed. The smaller woman was easily carried in one arm as Feley made a wide arc to try and find anyone else. She could sense the life force of someone but couldn’t see… And there he was! A footman trying to crawl desperately on his belly to safety. Blood was already oozing from his eyes and nose and he was too weak to stand. Resorting to just wrapping an arm around his waist and carrying him that way, Feley struggled to get her living burdens out of the cloud.

She could feel the Blight eating away at her body as someone took the gnome from her arm. Someone pointed behind her and shouted something and when she turned to follow their finger she saw something that broke her heart… One lone druid, still in cat form, clung to the ruined wall of her own guild tower. Varn… I know it’s not you … But still. Dropping her heavy sword to the ground, followed by pieces of her armor to lighten her burden, she ran back into the cloud to try and help the druid.

Reaching the feline, Feley held her arms out to the druid and beckoned for all her worth to come down. There was a moment where the druid looked at her and Feley saw the fear behind those amber eyes. A shout from the Alliance camp caught the cat’s attention, tufted ears turning even as the eyes never left Feley. Blight was beginning to weaken her joints and Feley was sure that if the cat leaped on her, she’d break into a thousand pieces. Instead, the druid shifted to an elf form and was revealed to be a younger elf man. Fear and terror twisted his features and he moved his robe aside to show Feley why he clung to the ruins. His leg was a mass of burns all the way to the knee and would be unable to carry his weight.

Hands to her face, Feley dredged up what strength she had left before reaching her arms out to him, intending to carry the man like a child. He accepted the help but hissed as the Blight surged over him. His weight was more than Feley expected and she staggered for a moment before starting to jog. Running was a struggle but she managed it, her eyes focused intently on the waiting arms of the night elf woman she had saved earlier. So close. Don’t fail now… So close… So… close… Everything was fading down to darkness, her hearing gone, and all her focus was resolutely on putting one foot in front of the other as quickly as she could. Something warm touched her forehead and her legs moved easier. Feathery soft strands brushed her cheeks before a great weight was removed from her arms.

Stillness.      Darkness.           Silence.                Cold. The Blight had won. Her body numb and unmoving as she fell to the earth. Nothing but old memories were left to haunt her now in the last moments.

“Light I pray to you, grant me the strength to resist this evil.”

Her voice… She had forgotten what she sounded like. Hoarse and tired from days upon days of prayer, her limbs cold from the wintry air within the necropolis. Cold iron bit into her bare skin as she knelt with in her cramped cell, hands firmly clasped before her as she prayed. Over. and Over. And Over again she had prayed.

“Light I pray to you, grant me the strength to resist this evil. Protect the souls of my men as we face these monsters. Light please do not forsake us within these wicked halls.”

Days without food. Days without water. Days without rest. She prayed on and on and on even as her men died around her and she was left alone except for the ghouls that guarded the prisoners. She prayed for them as well, her voice a whisper but unceasing in it’s litany.

Pain like she had never known filled her mouth as they made sure she’d never speak again. As if that would stop her prayers! A mouth full of blood and a heart full of faith, still she prayed. Infection set in to her injuries but still she prayed.

It had been weeks and she could no longer sit up, fever coursing through her failing body, but still she prayed. But still her faith held firm. She heard the Knights whisper that it was the Light keeping her alive as they could not get close enough to her. Her Light was too strong. Her Faith too strong.

Hands grabbed at her hair and shoulders, dragging her from her cell. No, this is passed. I have left that cell behind long ago. That was before. Why am I remembering this now…

Somewhere, be it a memory or reality, someone prayed. “Light, I pray to you … “

[badlandsloop]

Okay! Welcome to the post where I yammer on about this setting I invented for a D&D campaign that’s dead but I’m using to do a one-shot session. This is a broad view of the world at large but for map space, I had to scooch the landmass closer than they are. There is a GOOD amount of sea between the land continents and islands.

1. During the Dragon occupation of humanity, many humans fled to the northern islands in search of safety. What they found was a bleak barely habitable ice nightmare. But it’s better than dragons. So they founded the country Bjorngard and developed a society similar to that of the Norse/viking. The success and stability and society of Bjorngard are thanks to a mighty celestial who turned the first people into Aasimar, she dubbed her creations the Valkyries. Bjorngard is not he only origin point for aasimar on this plane but it is the most common. The Celestial infused the blood of all Bjorngardians with radiance, tho a new valkyrie may not awaken their blood until later in life.

2. The Anythe Archipelago is the ‘home’ of the tortles. and the seafloor adjacent is the domain of the tritons. Home is in quotes because a tortle’s home is his shell and they are naturally prone to wander the seas. Tritons built alien cities beneath the waves and credit themselves for holding back the tide of the Elemental Plane of Water. As Anythe, the capital of triton society is built as a bulwark against the weakening fabric of the material plane there.

3. Yamanarta is a similar case to Bjorngard. Humans fled from the dragons and founded a society. These Refugees found a land of elves and gnomes enslaved by their cousins from the Underdark. The humans helped drive the drow and deep gnomes beneath the surface. Yamanarta is the home of many monk monasteries and samurai orders. Ruled by a commune of 4 shoguns, this country values the honor of war and the virtue of peace. Though it sounds contradictory to the outside it is treated as a balance among Yamanarta‘s many scholars. The Underdark continue to kidnap and enslave the people of Yamanarta which is why they are always ‘at war.’

4. Deep in the forests and Bluepeak Mountains to the north dwell the Firbolg. A mysterious jury in the trial of the material plane. Their long lives and commitment to noninterference make their society a strange one. Mostly tho they are treated like a myth, like bigfoot or some shit.

5. Long long ago a war between the elemental planes of air and earth held a violent war on the material plane. Only recently 200years did this conflict end and Chirinia was born. A floating island of stone and dirt hovers over the sea, created in the climax of the final battle as earth and air magic mixed. Aaracocra from the plane of air stayed behind as scouts and formed the society on the floating rock. As time passed, kenku from all of the the world flocked to Chirinia to try and recapture their flight. Tabaxi followed suit as their natural wanderer tendencies lead them to the most stunning sight in all of the world.

6. Faylen’Dael, where nature and arcane are nearly one and the same, is the realm of the elves is a strange continent, and Island with a giant landlocked sea. Forests stretch around the ring and elves build cities that are impossible to differentiate from the massive trees in which they live. Gnomes populate the lower levels. Despite occupying the same territory, elves and gnomes have never gotten into major conflict. They share the land with the beasts and a vertical biome, beasts on the forest floor, gnomes in the tree’s trunks and elves in the canopy. Faylen’Dael is the thinnest veiled place in the material realm, meaning the feywild and shadowfell are nearly accessible by foot. Elven society is patient to a point of contemplation over action. Some Elves spend months with their minds utterly occupied by a single thought. Gnomes similarly are lost in thought but instead of one, they brainstorm seemingly infinite ideas swirling together.

7. The northern half of the continent is the country Xath, the land of dragons. Heavily populated by Dragonborn tribes, these mountains are in constant conflict. Southern Xath is home to metallic dragonborn, keepers of ideas of good. Western Xath is home to marble dragonborn, who uphold laws and tradition above all else. Northern Xath is the territory of the Chromatic Dragonborn, selfish and evil being who work together only to better themselves. Among the mountains live another sect of dragonborn, the gemstone dragons. These dragons are chaotic to the core and their scales come in countless variations of gems.

8. Northern Xath is the site where the Elemental Plane of Earth pressed up against the material plane. After the war with the plane of air, the earthfolk rarely cross. The Chromatic dragons use this unfettered earth magic to build their caves and spawn mountains to bar their enemies.

9. Metalic dragons have become dormant as of late. After the chromatic dragons conquered humanity they withdrew to their mountains. The world at large does not differentiate the different types of dragonborn or dragons. All are seen as the villains who took over the world and almost made humankind extinct. They keep to themselves and aide the world by battling the chromatic dragons, making sure their power never reaches what it once was.

10.The port city of Xithslyvania is the closest the chaotic gemstone dragons have to a settlement. Technically a dwarven trade city the gem dragonborn love the varying cultures and endless distractions of Xithslyvania. The Dwarven rulers of the city recognized this boon as so great they renamed the city to Draconic language. If a Gem Dragonborn holds on to a possession is almost always so they can hock it in Xithslyvania.

11. Orcs are not farmers and their god fuels them with violence and destruction so the Western coast of the continent is called the Badlands. A blasted nightmare-scape, the orcs raid and pillage in the worship of Gruumsh. As humanity returned to its feet after the dragons were driven out the orcs saw their chance. They nearly brought finished the dragons’ goal of extinction.

12. When the madness of Gruumsh compelled the orcs to destroy humanity they succeeded on one of the human countries. From this devastation though a half-orc rose up as a hero. He rallied his half-orcs who denied Gruumsh and pushed the orc horde back. For their heroism the half-orc country, Riverwall was founded. Riverwall now holds the orcs at bay and shelters the Halfling society in Bonshire. Bonshire is a relatively new community compared to many others on this list. Halflings sick of the conflict on the eastern continent migrated over. The open plains and rolling hills of the location appealed to them and they bonded with the half-orcs over drinks and stories.

13. Humankind defeated the dragons who ruled them but the war took its toll on the land. Each human country was scarred by powerful magic so that it is locked in one season. NorthSpring is in perpetual advent. Things begin but do not mature, instead locked in a state of youth. NorthSpring is the home of the Bard’s Guild and ruled by a monarchy. There is little danger natural or personal in Northspring as the people are locked in revelry.

14. Summerhold is locked in heat and light. It is home to the Fighter’s Guild and is ruled by democratically elected officials. It is the seat of sport and exploration in human society. Many caravans routes crisscross the plains, providing trade and travel to the rest of the continent.

15. Wintergrace is trapped in snow and ice and death. It is the seat of the Mage’s Guild and ruled by the mightiest wizards. Laws are strict here to regulate magic and keep the safety of the people. Due to its adjacency to the lost ruins in the south many clerics live there to study what human society/religion was before the dragons. This has created a schism with the arcane wizardry of the rulers but infighting leads to dying to the cold so it’s mostly debate.

16. Marshfall Basin is a complex of varying terrains and is a mix of harvest time and dying plants. The leaves on trees grow orange and fall within days only to repeat the process. The Thieves’ Guild hides among the cities. Merchants rule the country and decree countless laws, that no one follows.

17. The Lost Vale sits beneath the human countries. It is the unreclaimable ruins of the old draconic rule and prior human society. Around the lake lives ghostwise halflings who keep to themselves. And in the ice lives the kobolds. After the dragons left, the kobolds had no masters or idols so their society kinda imploded. Vastly directionless the kobolds horde magic items from the ruins or die in the process.

18. Gorisher is Lizardfolk territory. The lizards were slaves to dragons before humanity and aided them in their liberation. For that reason, they are not considered monsterous like they are on many other DND worlds. Humans and Lizardfolk work together frequently as their ideas and goals are so different they can share the spoils of cooperation. Lizardfolk revere nature but are pragmatic enough to realize how civilization can aide them. Their behaviors are utterly alien to humans and vice versa but a common enemy made these two opposites allies. Lizardfolk come in shades of brown and green, depending on how close they live to Marshfall Basin and it’s autumn leaves. A variant of lizadfolk exists in few numbers, the Ashen Lizardfolk tribes were wiped out but several of these black scaled beings still wander the world.

19. Gorundr, home of the goliaths. The titan mountains were once home to the giants until their mysterious disappearance. Goliaths see themselves as stewards of the giants’ home and prepare for their return. As such they train for combat and breed like rabbits. Physical enjoyment is very important to goliaths as their lands are rough and awful. They view themselves as superior to the other races but enjoy their company greatly. Especially Humans and halflings. Interestingly enough the Goliath views on humans are identical to those that humans have to halflings. They see them as directionless, small, harmless, shortlived, and most of all fun.

20. The Dwarves control the mines so they have tradeport cities all over the world. Steelport is one such colony, named in common for its vast human population. Trade and immigration are very very important in human countries as their season locked curse fucks them up.

21.Baezenad is a new country in the desert. Founded by Tieflings sick of the racial prejudice in other countries, this place is on the verge of the plane of elemental fire. The being of that plane have no desire to interact with the material plane but it is adjacent to the 9 Hells. Fiends used to travel through the fire plane to reach the world but Baezenad built a city there to harvest the fiendish power without letting them enter the plane. Baezenad is a country ruled by desire and ambition but is very accepting of all peoples.

22. Four-Lake Hills is the home of all Halflings. Without ambition but filled with desire, halflings are up for anything. Surrounded by the mighty Dwarven lands they are safe and sound from threats. Because of that their culture has flourished.

23. Adamant is the home of the Dwarves. Dwarves are strong of body and will. They run most of the mines in the world and rule the trade with little corruption or greed. Dwarves have a complex caste system. The upper castes rarely migrate and rule the trade colonies from afar but lower castes frequently migrate away, leaving an issue with the working class among dwarf society.

[otdderamin]

Transcript Ep5 0:1:50 Character Backstories

All of this transcription was done by Critical Role Transcripts. I've merely reformatted it from closed captions to paragraphs, and added the timestamps and links. The longer Critical Role has run, and characters have developed, the clearer it is that the telling of their backstories shows some very core personality traits, beyond the mere history they tell. I hope this serves as a useful reference document for further analysis. Note: Pike's video wasn't introduced until Ep5, making it the first episode to have all of them.

 If you like this transcript, especially this transcript, please consider donating to Critical Role Transcripts, @CRTranscript, to help them provide closed captioning to Critical Role. We'd like to share this wonderful show with as many people as possible, regardless of hearing ability or English language skills.

 Transcript method notes: http://otdderamin.tumblr.com/post/153539301510/a-note-on-my-transcription-method

 Scenes:

Full episode: http://geekandsundry.com/critical-role-episode-5/

Full set runs: 0:1:50 to 0:15:12 https://youtu.be/u6QpXDL7E8Y?t=110

 1. Pike - 0:1:50 to 0:03:52 https://youtu.be/u6QpXDL7E8Y?t=110

2. Grog - 0:03:53 to 0:05:40 https://youtu.be/u6QpXDL7E8Y?t=233

3. Keyleth - 0:05:41 to 0:07:43 https://youtu.be/u6QpXDL7E8Y?t=341

4. Percy - 0:07:45 to 0:08:58 https://youtu.be/u6QpXDL7E8Y?t=465

5. Scanlan - 0:08:59 to 0:10:20 https://youtu.be/u6QpXDL7E8Y?t=539

6. Tiberius - 0:10:20 to 0:12:18 https://youtu.be/u6QpXDL7E8Y?t=620

7. Vax - 0:12:20 to 0:13:48 https://youtu.be/u6QpXDL7E8Y?t=740

8. Vex - 0:13:49 to 0:15:12 https://youtu.be/u6QpXDL7E8Y?t=829

9. Trinket - The Saga of Trinket - The surprising first meeting between Vex and her companion

 1. Pike

0:1:50 Ashley: "Pike grew up in the outskirts of town, near the Bramblewood. Her ancestors were a family of deep gnomes with quite an unfavorable reputation. Thievery, destruction, and trickery left them with the curse of the last name Trickfoot. Sarenrae, the goddess of healing and redemption, had other plans for Pike's great-great-grandfather, Wilhand, who left his family at a young age after a dream; a dream that changed the course of the Trickfoot family. Wilhand devoted his life to Sarenrae and pledged from then on that him and his family would live a life of service and devotion.

0:02:27 Ashley: "As a child, Pike seemed to have an affinity to heal. Whether it was animals, people, or even flowers, she felt she had a purpose in making things whole that had once been broken. She studied and learned the ways to heal though divine magic.

0:02:43 Ashley: "She lived a peaceful life, quiet and simple, until one day, Wilhand was captured, and almost killed, by a group of goliath barbarians. One of the goliaths took a stand against the murder of the innocent gnome, and he himself was beaten, bloodied, and left for dead, abandoned by his herd. Wilhand went to Pike for help. She prayed and healed this barbarian as best she could, bringing him back to life. When he awoke, she discovered his name was Grog Strongjaw. After that, they were best of friends, a rather unlikely pair. Little did she know that in a few years' time, Grog would soon return the favor and bring her back from the clutches of death.

0:03:31 Ashley: "After being killed in battle, Pike felt angry. She wanted to be stronger so that it would never happen again. She spent four months at sea training with the men and women aboard a ship called the Broken Howl. Gripping her holy symbol in one hand, and her morningstar in the other, this time, Pike is ready."

0:03:52

 2. Grog

0:03:53 Travis: "Right, Listen up! If you have ale, then you have a friend in Grog Strongjaw! A goliath of towering height and size, this barbarian has an appetite for the two great loves in his life: combat, women, and ale!" Chuckle, "Wait. Easily the brains of the group, Grog is often consulted for his vast knowledge of shapes, colors, and," chuckle, "shiny things! ...Also, ale.

0:04:27 Travis: "In his early years, armed with his two-handed great axe, Grog often enjoyed proving his might amongst the ranks of his family's wandering herd. But after coming upon an unsuspecting elderly gnome in the woods, he objected to the killing such an innocent life. A creature of impulse, Grog felt only pity for this... well, this terrified little thing, and his disobedience cost him dearly. Beaten bloody, and banished by the herd leader, his uncle Kevdak, Grog was abandoned and left to die.

0:05:05 Travis: "Exiled from his herd, it was then that the relative of the very gnome he fought to save, saved him. It was the kindness of a gnome cleric named Pike, that healed Grog, bringing him back from death's edge. And they have remained close friends ever since.

0:5:26 Travis: "Most nights, Grog can be found challenging entire taverns to wrestling matches! Ha! ...or accompanying Scanlan to the nearest house, where you pay for... lady favors. Also, ale!"

0:05:40

 3. Keyleth

0:05:41 Marisha: "A first Impression of Keyleth would leave you with little information on the half-elven druid. You might even think that her social awkwardness due to her sheltered upbringing is kind of sweet." Chuckle, "Of course, it would be unwise underestimate her based on first impressions. Under that unintimidating, petite frame is a vicious beast waiting to be unleashed, whose natural powers have made even the fiercest of champions pee their pants, literally!" Soft chuckle.

0:06:10 Marisha: "Born to the Air Tribe of the Ashari people, Keyleth was raised with a deep love of nature and the elemental magics. It is her people’s inherent duty to protect the delicate areas in Tal'Dorei where the four elemental planes begin to bleed with this realm. Since she was a little girl, she had quite a knack for air manipulation and beast shaping abilities. Well, if you consider Kittens and flying squirrels to be little beasts. Which, I do, "clears throat.

0:06:39 Marisha: "Anyways, it wasn't long before the headmaster of the tribe, her father, Kohren, realized her true prodigious abilities and she was inveterated to succeed him as the next headmaster. Just like that, her jovial childhood was stripped and replaced with endless spell memorization, teachings from ancient traditions, and exceedingly high expectations.

0:07:00 Marisha: "Every druid leader-to-be must embark on journey to seek out the sister tribes, in order to introduce and establish respect amongst the fellow headmasters. They call this the Aramente, or Noble Odyssey. When her father felt she was ready, he set her on the path to truly discovering herself. Not knowing when, or if she will ever return. As she hiked down the mountain towards Stillben, she meditated on the task ahead. Part of the Aramente is proving yourself a strong warrior, a valiant protector, and a wise and compassionate leader. With this knowledge, one thought plays in repeat in her mind: Is she even worthy?"

0:07:43

 4. Percy

0:07:45 Taliesin: "Percy was the third child of 7 children, born to a noble family who lived far to the north in the ancient castle of Whitestone. With so many siblings to share the burdens of lordship, Percy turned his attentions to the sciences, engineering, and naturalism.

0:08:01 Taliesin: "One day, a mysterious couple, named Lord and Lady Briarwood, came to court. During a feast held in their honour, the Briarwoods violently took control of the castle, killing or imprisoning everyone who would stand in their way. Percy awoke chained in the dungeon, only to be freed by his younger sister. Together they fled, chased by the Briarwoods’ men. As they ran, Percy’s sister took several arrows to the chest and fell. Percy kept running, eventually jumping into a freezing river and floating unconscious to freedom.

0:08:34 Taliesin: "He did not remember waking up on a fishing boat. He barely remembered the next two years, as he slowly made his way as far south as possible. Then one night, Percy had a dream. A roaring cloud of smoke offered him vengeance against those who destroyed his family. When he awoke, Percy began to design his first gun."

0:08:58

 5. Scanlan

0:08:59 Sam: "Oh, you haven’t heard of Scanlan Shorthalt? Well, gird your loins, ladies, because he has his eye on you. A talented musician, master of disguise, and dashingly handsome in his own mind, Scanlan sings songs almost as much as he sings his own praises.

0:09:15 Sam: "Born a poor Gnome, Scanlan used his endless charm and soaring tenor voice to croon for coin and support his single mother. One day he was discovered by a half-orc promoter, and joined Dr. Dranzel’s Spectacular Traveling Troupe where he learned the ways of the world, and honed his skills as a bard extraordinaire.

0:09:35 Sam: "A loner much of his life, Scanlan has never quite come to terms with the violent death of his mother at the hands of a Goblin invasion. While his years on the road provided many, shall we say, educational experiences with the opposite sex, deep down Scanlan yearns for the one thing he’s never known: the true love of a fellow Gnome.

0:09:57 Sam: " Still, Scanlan considers himself a lover first, performer second, and fighter distant third. On the battlefield, he’ll support his allies, but rarely draws blood unless it’s to protect fellow Gnome, Pike. Count on Scanlan for a hearty laugh, a rollicking song, and a twinkle in his eye that melts hearts and makes the females swoon.

0:10:20

 6. Tiberius

0:10:20 Orion: "Greetings and salutations. I am Tiberius Stormwind. I hail from a town called Ty'rex, located in the heart of Draconia, born from a politically respected family. At the age of 15, I succeeded in passing the Sorcerer’s Rite, showing prodigy-like control of my magic. The judges and the Draconian high council were amazed at how powerful my spells were for how long I had been training. At 20 years-old, I was the youngest appointed member of the magic guild in Draconian history.

0:10:49 Orion: "For the next few years, I almost went mad from the malaise of being a guild member, as it’s rather boring. However, one day I happened upon a chamber, unused for quite some time. In the room were stacks of books and maps of the surrounding cities and areas around the known world. For months, I would frequent the chamber, and learned of artifacts from legend. After a long period of research, I made a list of artifacts that caught my eye. I brought these findings to the high council and was told that all of the information in the chamber I had stumbled upon was either believed to be fiction or unsolvable mysteries, and hence were lost forever. I found those answers to be unacceptable.

0:11:28 Orion: "A year later I devised a ruse and managed to convince the city council to lend support in me leaving Draconia on a mission of peace and diplomacy for the surrounding kingdoms. Going from town to town and making friends and allies, in and for the name of Draconia. Being a red dragonborn, I had quite the task on my hands in that respect, but it was exactly what I needed so I could explore the world and find these artifacts, as I felt the truth was out there.

0:11:54 Orion: "Some may describe me as buffoonish, but I say poppycock to all that. I am much sharper than most give me credit for. I just don’t pay attention to things sometimes. I’ve also been known to be rather cunning, loyal, happy-go-lucky, and well, dangerous. I can’t help but show my true scales every now and then. But overall, I think I’m quite friendly for a Dragonborn."

0:12:18

 7. Vax

0:12:20 Liam: "Never entirely welcome in the company of elves or men, Vax'ildan learned at a young age to skip past formality, preferring instead to invite himself in your door. Along with twin sister Vex'ahlia, Vax was born by a chance encounter between elven royalty and human peasantry. Raised by their mother in their early years, the twins were eventually sent off to their father in the Elven capital of Singorn. But their cool reception among the Elves there never warmed, and their time in the capital didn’t last.

0:12:50 Liam: "The siblings stole away one autumn night and set out on the open road. After a few years of wandering, they eventually decided to return to their mother, and journeyed back to the lands of their youth. But instead of finding their childhood home, they returned to a pile of rubble. Their mother was gone, their home burned to ash. Pressing the townspeople for answers, they learned of the day the dragon came. With their ties all severed, Vax'ildan and his sister set out to find their fortune together in Tal'Dorei.

0:13:28 Liam: "An outsider since birth, Vax quickly learned to solve life’s challenges in his own particular way, often by sidestepping them entirely. And when his knack for circumventing adversity isn’t enough, the way of blades the elves schooled him in more than makes up the difference."

0:13:48

 8. Vex

0:13:49 Laura: "Like so many Half-Elves, Vex'ahlia has spent most of her life suffering the cool reception of a people who don’t fully accept her. Born of a human mother, and an elven father who only later in life took an interest in their existence, Vex'ahlia and her twin brother Vax'ildan quickly realized the only people they could truly rely on in this world were each other.

0:14:14 Laura: "It was at the age of 10 when the two were taken from their mother, and brought to live in Singorn, the isolated Elven city for which their father was an ambassador. He quietly took them in, but always kept an icy distance, and after too many years of disdainful looks, the pair decided to leave his indifference behind, and set out on their own.

0:14:36 Laura: "Vax took to the cities, stealing small trinkets and learning the ways of the thief, while Vex kept to the woods. She preferred the isolation. Always the keen observer, she learned to hunt and to track, to spy and to shoot. And through a series of fateful events, earned herself a companion in the form of a bear - her own stolen Trinket - to fight alongside her and protect her fiercely. Also, he is adorable, and gives expert massages.

0:15:12

 9. Trinket

The Saga of Trinket - The surprising first meeting between Vex and her companion

http://geekandsundry.com/the-saga-of-trinket-the-surprising-first-meeting-between-vex-and-her-companion/

[punchfacefist]

Light Lost in Shadow Part IV

           He titled his head back, strands of his chestnut brown hair fell away from his face as he drained the amber contents of his mug. He took a long draught and exhaled satisfied of his quenched thirst. The eye patch he keeps covering his left eye rest on the table next to the varied bottles of liquor strewn around him on the tavern counter. Light chain-mail clinked with his movement, and he peered toward the entrance at the entering body. Istaniel recognized the other elf at the counter and wheezed a laugh in recognition.            "Verrikiel Al'Maren," he named his old friend, "It has been too long."            "Could be longer if I owe you money," Verrikiel retorted. He turned to face Stan, and paled at the sight of him.            "'Staniel?" he gasped. Stan grinned, crossing the tavern in heavy plate boots. They clasped forearms, and Verrikiel threw himself onto the Death Knight in a brotherly hug.            "It has been too long!" Verrikiel laughed finally. "Look at you! What the hell have you been doing? I thought you died in Quel'Thalas!"            "I thought the same, old friend," Istaniel answered, "Well, I did, but I got better. Raised to serve the Scourge, but that didn't take."            "I can tell," Verrikiel chuckled. He spied the crossed scythes on the tabard Stan wore. "I met your Commander. Strong woman. I'm surprised you haven't worked your charms."            "Oh, I couldn't!" Istaniel laughed, "If I even tried, she'd incinerate me! I'm not as bold as I was back then." Back then referred to their days with the Farstriders, where they drank and partied and bedded with as many ladies as they could. it was a youthful time for them, and such good memories came rushing back. No two better friends could be found in all of Quel'Thalas than them. It was Verrikiel would helped Istaniel in his recruit days, spending nights training to use a bow. When it came to it, Istaniel found he was better accustomed to swords, and being so light on his feet, trained as a field medic instead. Verrikiel had his back either way.           The recalling of these old days came back to Istaniel easily            "Nowadays, though," Istaniel brought himself back to the present, "things have been difficult."            "How so?" Verrikiel asked, noticing the slight change of tone in Stan's face.            "My brother's been missing since the fall of Lordaeron. I'm not as good a tracker as I was back then." Verrikiel clapped a hand to Stan's shoulder, minding the spikes on the plate worn over it. "Well, I'm here, so you don't have to worry about that." Istaniel felt selfish in that moment, at his words.            "I couldn't ask that of you." Verrikiel laughed. "Nonsense! I'd do anything for you, brother! We both know I'm the better tracker of the two of us." Istaniel pressed his forehead to Verrikiel's. "I owe you one for this." Westward and south into the scorched battlefield of the Stonetalon Mountains, the two found themselves. The Alliance presence had all but vanished, but used, empty husks of Gnome-made machinery lay strewn about. Siege weaponry and holdout camps lay abandoned and overgrown with budding new life.            "If your brother went anywhere, perhaps he felt the bloodlust and returned to somewhere familiar," Verrikiel reasoned, "Somewhere he remembered he fought in. He'd go back to where he remembered the thrill of battle again, to sate his need for violence."            "But Ima's not the type to be violent for no reason," Istaniel added, "He wouldn't be the type to relive an old battle."            "Anyone in a bloodlust would return to old conflicts, either to end them, or find closure," Verrikiel answered. The two circled the battlefield, vulture-picked carcasses lay strewn across the ground. Verrikiel motioned to Istaniel and the two touched down and dismounted. Verrikiel crouched by a barren patch of earth.            "Do these look like his foot prints?" Istaniel kneeled beside him, finding the impressions in the dirt. They were definitely small enough to belong to Imara'el.            "He was here," Stan realized. Verrikiel pointed in the toe's direction, surveying the sky.            "He's going west," Verrikiel straightened. The two mounted again and followed low to the ground.            The tracks appeared again and Verrikiel measured their direction once more.            "He's headed to Desolace," Istaniel realized. In Desolace, the two asked any travelers if they'd seen Ima. Some had no such recollection, while some claimed they saw an Elf wandering southward.            "So what have you been doing for so long?" Istaniel asked while they were airborne.            "Treasure hunting," Verrikiel replied. "When the Scourge invaded, I was separated from my squad. They must have presumed me dead or among the numbers taken to be converted into a Death Knight."            "What really happened?"            "I'm not lying when I said I was separated. But I saw what was going on. I found my way to Lordaeron, and joined an expedition team. We'd been hunting artifacts and relics. It became a rather lucrative endeavor.           The two landed and dismounted in the southern reaches of Desolace. Verrikiel found tracks once more.            "We're catching up," Verrikiel observed, "these are a day old. He's headed southward."            "Into centaur territory," Istaniel added, staring to the roughshod makeshift huts of twisted wood and hides.            "Won't have to worry about the centaurs," Verrikiel followed Stan's line of sight. The ground was littered with centaur torn asunder. Bits and pieces of centaur lay on blood-stained earth, the dirt deep red. The carrion feeders had begun their feast.            "Holy shit," Verrikiel stared agape. "Ima did this?"            "He couldn't have," Stan shook his head. "There's no way he'd do something like this."            "We're closing in on him, he's just ahead in Feralas."            The barren gray desolation of the wasteland behind them was by far the starkest contrast to Feralas; trees thrived and grew proud and strong. Vegetation had to be hacked at to let anyone move off the path. Sunlight filtered in through the canopy, through leaves that saturated the floor with green light.            "So you just abandoned your post like that?" Istaniel continue the conversation from before.            "I suppose if you look at it that way, yes," Verrikiel shrugged, "but can you blame me? Far as they're concerned, I'm presumed dead. So I'm free to do as I wish."            "We took an oath," Stan returned, "You broke that oath by abandoning."            "Stan, it was a matter of survival," Verrikiel reasoned, "If I had stayed, I'd have ended up like you. You died for Quel'Thalas, and I respect that devotion; but don't you remember how they screwed us over? Condemning us to die by the Scourge so the nobility could stay fat and in power? I made my decision! I regretted it on the long nights traveling, but damn it, I found something new to live for!" They didn't talk for the remainder of their time in wilds. Verrikiel found the tracks fresher. Istaniel went on ahead. The path was worn and well-traveled, and there, just walking by himself, Istaniel knew it from the shoulders, the left ear sliced shorter than the right.            "Imara'el!" Istaniel shouted. The elf stopped midstride, turned and looked at the Death Knight. Istaniel wavered. The look in Imara’el’s eyes weren’t his own; they were colder, distance, looking well through Istaniel at something past him. The whole aura around Ima was off. He gave off a natural glow from his connection to the Light. Whoever this was, it wasn’t Ima, but only inhabited his body.            "You've come for my vessel," Imara'el said in a voice that didn't sound like him, "It is not yet time."            "You're coming home with me, Ima," Istaniel declared with finality, "One way or another! If I have to drag you back!" Imara'el's tensed frame seemed to loosen at the words. "Stan?" It sounded like Ima now, "I can't come back. Not yet."            "Don't make me hurt you, brother," Stan warned.            "You don't understand," Imara'el warned, "This is beyond even you can handle on your own, Stan. I can't come back. It's not yet time." Istaniel drew both weapons and took stance.            "I'm not leaving without you, damn it!" Istaniel shouted, "Please, Ima. Don't make this harder than it is."            "This is not how it's supposed to go," Ima said, "I'm sorry, Stan. I can't deviate from the plan." Istaniel readied to charge to strike his brother. It was impossible to measure the time it took for Imara'el to close the space between them. Imara'el struck, open-palmed, against the Free Knight's chest. The force of it dented his breastplate. The rest of the impact sent Istaniel flying backward. He was dead and cold for a long time, incapable of feeling any pain; but holy shit, did that hurt! The air was crushed from his chest and he was on the ground, dazed from the blow. Imara'el was gone when he regained his composure.            Verrikiel caught up to him. sat him up and continued down the road. After several minutes, Verrikiel returned.            "He's gone," he reported, "Lost his tracks just before the Thousand Needles."            "Help me up," Istaniel wheezed.            "You're in no shape to go after him," Verrikiel warned.            "I know, I need to get to Orgrimmar. Get this treated."

[zippdementia]

Part 57 Alignment May Vary: White Plume Mountain and the Death of a Friendship

We should have realized something would go wrong. From the time we entered the Mountain, he wasn’t himself. Or maybe he was more of himself, everything exaggerated. But we had grown too used to that look in his eye, too used to the shrill laugh, too used to everything coming out okay in the end.  ~ The journals of Nysyries  

Today’s blog post is difficult to construct. As I explained last time, we are taking a break from the main campaign to do a side quest inside the classic White Plume Mountain Adventure. The players meet with the Dwarves of the Wyvernwatch Mountains, who agree to send mercenaries to help Brindol but also mention that three legendary weapons forged in the Kingdom of Rhest (and partially responsible for the Kingdom’s downfall) were given to the dwarves for safekeeping generations ago... and now have been stolen! The thief seems to want people to come find the weapons, as he left instructions in the form of a riddle for where the weapons would be kept.

Enter White Plume Mountain, an infamous and still active volcano set in the heart of the Wyvernwatch. The dwarves agree begrudgingly to give the players directions to the Mountain with the promise that they will find and not keep the legendary weapons. To sweeten the deal, they offer a Wish spell upon the return of the weapons. With this, the players make their way to White Plume, entering it only to be greeted by a mischevious and seemingly all-powerful gnome calling himself Keraptis and welcoming the players to his “playground.” His instructions are clear: there are three paths, each leading to another of the weapons. The players need only pass his devious traps and monstrous guardians in order to retrieve the weapons. He also, in response to Tyrion’s boasting that Tyrion is going to beat up the gnome, turns our Blue Bard Tyrion polka-dotted and gives him a Bob Ross afro before disappearing. Begin dungeon!

White Plume Mountain has a very good conversion in Tales of the Yawning Portal and is pretty much a straight dungeon crawl. There is no need to cover every random encounter or detail of its trap rooms here. I had planned for this to be a quick side quest to give the players some cool weapons and buff them up before facing the final rush of the horde. My blog post would have covered some of the changes I made to the dungeon and then moved us back to the main plot with minimal fuss.

As it turned out, White Mountain was a huge turning point not only for all of our characters, but even for our group as a whole. So I have some explaining to do. I’m not going to cover every moment of White Plume Mountain. Let’s start where I intended, however, and talk about some important changes.

The Big Change: Weapons

Each of the three classic weapons hidden in White Plume Mountain has problems that left me feeling unable to use them in my campaign in their original form. First of all, for every weapon I decide to use the old legacy system (from 3.5 I think?) where weapons level up with the characters. So know that these all start as +1 weapons and will eventually grow to +3, with more powerful abilities. I’ll post a link to the redesigns below.

Blackrazor is the one with the most drastic change. Unless your party is going to be going up against epic-level challenges or you are going to be basing the rest of your campaign around this weapon or you are running a solo campaign, it is too powerful to use as is. The reason is that ability to gain temporary hit points. Already innately powerful in DnD 5, most temporary hit point abilities seem to average around 10 or 15 extra hit points. I could see 25 to 50 being reasonable at higher levels. But the ability to gain temporary hit points equal to the original hit points of the monster you killed and the fact that the player gets advantage on all attacks while having these temporary hit points can quickly break a slower paced game. There are some major weaknesses to the weapon, like the inability to hit undead and its propensity to turn its users completely insane, but from a purely mechanical standpoint, my game isn’t ready to withstand its full power yet. So I nerf that for now, having it grant 10+monster’s CR temporary hitpoints upon the monster’s defeat. Again, this will level up in time. I also change the weapon to a Longsword, as this is meant for Aldric Alright.

Wave is a little easier to work with. Mostly here I’m just trying to simplify things. Force cube is one of my least favorite D&D 5 abilities just because of how complicated it is and everything you have to remember. So I pull that as one of its constant abilities and replace it with some extra damage. This weapon is meant for Nysyries.

Whelm is the sad step child of the bunch. A cool little weapon, but with an awful penalty of being at disadvantage for everything you do outside during the day. Okay, so fair enough to say that most of D&D does take place underground or inside, but I’m not quite ready to put this major restriction on my players yet. So this weapon I replace entirely with one out of a third party Legacy Weapons book, the Heartcarver. I intend it for Tyrion, who has a thing for axes. I don’t end up using the stats for Heartcarver because something happens, something we will discuss next, but I’ve provided the first level of Wave and Blackrazor here for review. Keep in mind they will power up later and at a later date I’ll post the full tiered stats, but for now I want it to be a bit of a mystery for my players.

I’ll also throw in a brief mention about one possible encounter in the dungeon, and that is Sir Bluto sans Pite. That fight against him and his knights is incredibly deadly. Like, I’m not sure what the intentions of the designer was in that fight except that players should avoid it altogether. You need to find some way to make this fight doable. Maybe Sir Bluto is willing to let the players go if they bribe him or agree to give him one of the weapons (in which case he’ll follow them with his knights to the location of the next weapon and fight the players if they get it and don’t give it to him). Maybe Sir Bluto is arrogant and has his knights fight the players two or three at a time, hanging back until the end to finish them off himself. Maybe he challenges their strongest fighter to a dual, saying if that fighter can defeat him (take him down to 20 or less hit points), he’ll let everyone go. Maybe you expand the river and turn the whole scene into a chase, where the enchanted river flows by an illusionary forest, where the knights fire arrows at the players in their boat and then Sir Bluto gets in his own boat and gives chase with two of his knights, the two teams having to face off against each other as they ride the river rapids. Do something here, because this is otherwise a very frustrating fight unless your party has five or more players in it.

My players encounter the river, but Nysyries uses her spy fly (a little drone-like device that flies up the river to see what’s over there) to spot the attackers and they avoid the whole scene altogether.

Death of a Friendship

Today, news reached me in the form of a song called the “Blue Bard’s Ballad” that my old friend and companion, Tyrion Talltame, last of his name, has perished somewhere in the far east. The song is frustratingly unclear as to the exact manner of his death, ending simply with “he strode forward into fire and smoke, his shadow stretching to the sky, and the final words he ever spoke, they’ll never catch one small as I.”    ~ Diary of Karina, Mistress of the School of the Sworn

Dungeons and Dragons is a game played among friends and it moves to the mysterious tides of those friendships. Sometimes it waxes and sometimes it wanes. The bluntest way I can say this is that our friendship with Tyrion’s player has been waning for a while and it finally snapped during White Plume Mountain.

Handling the break up of a friendship without ruining your game of Dungeons and Dragons is not a subject I see talked about often. Maybe it’s somewhat superstitious, like we don’t talk about it because are afraid to invite that occurrence in. Or maybe we simply don’t like to think, or can’t think, of losing long friendships. Most likely I think it is because every situation is different, every group of friends different, and there is no advice that anyone can give that can be directly applied to this kind of situation.

For instance, in our group, I could point to certain behaviors of Tyrion’s player: a propensity to speak over the other players, ignore their ideas, become irritated if others were in the spotlight, and having extreme and borderline violent outbursts when his characters would die. I could speculate on certain things that were said recently and commitments to the game that were broken that gave us all the impression that he no longer was invested in the game. I can take responsibility myself and say that his gaming style had recently become something I wasn’t comfortable with as a GM, finding myself consistently locked into a “challenge” battle with him where his behavior would make me feel not like we were collaboratively telling a story but were instead competing to win the game, an impossible position to be in for Dungeons and Dragons where there is no such thing as winning... well, aside from everyone going home having had a good time. Maybe that was the key thing: not everyone was leaving the table anymore feeling like they were having a good time.

But the reasons go beyond this. I think the best way to explain it came from a conversation I had with another friend just last week about the incident. I am in my mid-thirties now, and the friends I have I value greatly. The people I chose to spend time with these days are people that I hope to have in my life for however long I am given to live it. At the same time, those friends are also well into or approaching their thirties and they are firming up who they are as people. Not that their situations in life will not change, or that they will not continue to grow as people and friends, but the core of who they are is now plain to see. The seed has split and we see the type of tree they are. And the person who played Tyrion, having now shown his shape, is not someone that I feel I can stay friends with. The rest of the group agreed. And so, after Tyrion died, we cut him out of the group and have continued to play with two.

These are hard words to type, made harder still by the fact that he may be reading these words. I believe he will not take them well. In his mind, he is the victim here, perhaps even a martyr for having stuck out the game until he was kicked out. He essentially told me afterwards that he doesn’t need friends who abandon him. From his own perspective, he is not incorrect. From my perspective, there are no victims or martyrs here. There are choices. The rest of the group, myself included, made the choice to remove him from our lives. We own that choice, we take responsibility for it. I only hope that he learns to take responsibility for his.

As grave as all that is, the actual death itself is almost humorous in its telling. Tyrion had been tackling White Plume Mountain like a wrecking ball. The first big trap, a hallway which heats up metal armor and weapons and requires some careful planning to make it through safely, he bolts down before the group can formulate a plan. This places him alone at its end where nearly a dozen ghasts wait to tear him to shreds before the party can catch up. No, this is not where he dies, believe it or not! This is where he gains a feather beard in a hilarious roll of his chaos armor (which, when hit, allows the player to use a reaction to activate a random wild magic). The ghasts leap at him, he unleashes the full might of his armor and... POOF! Feathers explode out of his face in a colorful beard. It’s a pretty great moment.

The actual death comes later, during the unusual Ziggarat aquarium room. For those who haven’t seen the room, it’s pictured above, a tiered step down of enclosed cages with various deadly monsters inside and a door at the bottom tier. The room is an unusual puzzle. Really, it’s about not overthinking it and removing the need to kill every monster. The real trick is getting to the bottom tier and just running through the door. It might sound stupid, but it’s a meta-challenge to gamers that challenges them to test the environment, learn that the monsters are docile as long as their area isn’t entered, and then to make the choice to skip confrontation. Skipping confrontation was a very cool and self-aware message to players back when White Plume came out. It is maybe less relevant today, but no less challenging.

Aldric and Nysyries are actually on the verge of figuring this out, using fish they got earlier in the dungeon to feed the top layer of monsters and observe their behavior, when Tyrion decides to smash the glass. The problem with this is that it then locks the bottom door behind a wall of force and now the players will have to at least fight the manticores.

I won’t go through every facet of this room. There are some very cool moments, like when Aldric makes a mighty leap into the manticore’s lair, jumping over one of the aquariums where the deadly (and literal) sea-lions live, just barely avoiding being snatched out of the air by a leaping sea-lion. Nysyries encounters a wight on the upper level, a random encounter who sneaks into the room behind her, and takes it on one-vs-one while transformed into a giant scorpion! Singlehandedly, she takes down the wight while Aldric faces off against three starved manticores by himself and actually holds his own.

Tyrion at this point is on the upper level. The manticores have had their wings clipped, so they can’t fly up to get him. Nysyries is fighting the Wight and doesn’t need help. The manticores have injured him down to three hitpoints with their tailspikes, but nothing is targeting him now that they are distracted by Aldric, a much more accessible piece of food inside their cage. Tyrion has leisure to heal himself, or to keep launching arcane bolts down into the manticore arena to support Aldric. So what he does next doesn’t make sense to us.

“I use misty step to jump inside the manticore cage!” he declares.

Well, there’s a few problems with this. First of all, the cage is actually outside of the range of misty step. He’ll land on the edge of the lowest aquarium level, and it has been well established by this point that that level has leaping sea-lions who will definitely attack anyone who goes there. Even if he survives this, there are three high-health manticores in that cage looking for an easy meal and who get three attacks a turn. Tyrion is asking to be torn to shreds by going in there with only three hit points.

Maybe he wanted to be in the spotlight. Maybe he was secretly tired of playing Tyrion, though his reaction to what happens next would suggest otherwise. Maybe he simply believed that he couldn’t die.

What happens next is Tyrion the Blue Polka-dotted Bard with a Bob Ross afro and a feather beard poofs in a cloud of smoke, appears on the edge of the aquarium, is immediately stuck from behind by a sea-lion, topples face first into the manticore’s cage, and is devoured by the nearest starved manticore who then burps up a burst of feathers.

When I tell the story to outsiders, they laugh. It’s a classic D&D style mishap, the ignominious and pointless death of a character, the sort of thing that you tell jokes about as you roll up your new character. And it is funny, I can’t help but chuckle even now as I type it. But it is also a little bitter, that it marks the death not only of a long-standing party member, but also of a friendship.

Further Changes: 2 person party

From here on out, we are a two person party. We have not added anyone else to the group, nor do we have a desire to just yet. And it turns out that a two person party is really a lot of fun!

Some benefits include being able to give each character more attention and more roleplaying moments. Challenge becomes something more interesting, too. You can highlight individual monsters more easily, since players are now more easily outclassed by the action economy, and can hand out more unique and interesting magical items, as they are less likely to break the game’s challenge completely. Combat goes faster and players are encouraged to come up with more interesting solutions to situations rather than “we run in and kill it” because that tactic is now potentially dangerous.

On the DM side, it does require a bit of tweaking to adjust fights where necessary, or to roleplay monster behavior so that they aren’t using their most deadly attacks and options each round. In White Plume Mountain, it leads to a couple of major changes in the dungeon:

The Oni Fight: The Oni who guards Blackrazor is a tough opponent and while Nysyries and Aldric could probably defeat him, it is not a sure thing. Possible death seems a harsh thing to put into the game right after such an impactful departure from Tyrion, so I mess with this encounter a lot. As written in the module, the Oni is in disguise as a Halfling, but unlike in the module he is not particularly interested in fighting the players. He despises the gnome who trapped him and has decided to take his command “guard Blackrazor and challenge those who would seek to claim it” more literally and leaves the nature of the challenge up to the players. Aldric chooses to arm wrestle and so they do. The Oni is not totally good natured though, so they do it over small orbs of annihilation which will decimate the hand of whomever loses. We drag this contest out over several Strength rolls, myself keeping track of the number of successes each party gains (big wins, like +5 or +10 over the opponent, count as multiple successes) until Aldric finally drives the Halfling’s hand down into the sphere. In this way, they win the encounter and are able to claim Blackrazor. I don’t let them linger, though: the Halfling is beginning to turn into his true form, compelled to fight them, and the players flee before he can fully transform. The Gnome congratulates them and moves them back to the start of the dungeon.

The Vampire Fight: The fight for Whelm (or in this case, Heartcarver) is against a vampire, an incredibly dangerous foe at this level and one that Aldric, weilding Blackrazor, would not be able to hurt. I just don’t feel that this fight is one that my two person party can win, so I decide to mix it up. When Tyrion dies, the Herzou demon that has lurked inside of him since Haggemoth’s Tomb finally is freed. It barely has time to gloat, however, before the Gnome appears and fascinated by the creature, decides to abscond with him. Really, he is imprisoning the demon in place of the vampire, enjoying the fact that the players will have a chance to fight against the thing that empowered their old companion. More on that later.

Encouraging them to go after all Three Weapons: One obvious question with only two party members is why even care about going for the third weapon? One could claim that they won’t receive their Wish reward unless they claim all three weapons but, really, the players don’t intend on returning these items anyway, though they are wary of the dwarves coming after them to retrieve the weapons. So I sweeten the pot. The Gnome tells them that if they get all three weapons, he will be so delighted that he will cast a massive illusion to make everyone agree that the players have always been the rightful owners of these powerful items. That’s a big incentive, but Nysyries asks for another favor on top of it: “Can you remove the curse that makes me feed on the souls of men”?

She is referring to the blood curse put on her by the Rusalka of the Wytchwood, Tywin’s wife and Jorr’s daughter, the one that forces her to feed every three days on the soul of a male humanoid or else face losing her druidic powers forever.

This is very interesting and as a GM I take it as a clear character goal for Nysyries. So I do some quick adjustments to Heart Carver and the gnome tells Nysyries that the blood bond is too strong for him to affect directly but that the third weapon they seek has the power to break such bonds.

“I can promise to transport you to where the woods wytch is once you retrieve the weapon,” he giggles. “That much I can do.”

And with that, we have our deal.

The Cream of the Crop: Key Moments in White Mountain

There are some key moments that I don’t want to skip over, things that were just too well roleplayed to not share.

Aldric’s Sacrifice: Like all of the sentient legacy weapons, Blackrazor demands something in order to be attuned to. In its case, it wants a sacrific, a show of its new owner’s devotion to it. I honestly don’t have any particular idea in mind when I ask this of Aldric. Obviously it has to be something he can do now, so he can use the awesome weapon in this dungeon. I’m thinking maybe he will offer a body part, or something metaphysical, like the memory of the names and faces of his old mercenary troop. So when he tells Nysyries he will be right back and leaves the dungeon for a moment, I am not sure what to expect. I’m trying to think what he is getting. Aldric is a Cavalier, the new fighter archetype from Xanathar’s Guide. He has some decent magical items that go along with the class and support his role as a mounted warrior. Any of these would be a big sacrifice if he were to let them go.

Then he comes back into the dungeon. And he’s carrying a bloodied saddle. What he’s done dawns on me, then. “OH SHIT,” I say out loud, genuinely heart struck. For years, Aldric has only had one companion, besides his own need for revenge, and that companion was his lovely mare, Enopi, whom he has just slain in his quest for revenge.

The Death of Knick Knack: There is a nasty puzzle in this dungeon (one of many) where a hallway heats up metal and ends in an encounter with ghouls and ghasts. The party is in the process of figuring this puzzle out when, bored and tired of puzzles, Tyrion rushes headlong into it, using dimension door to bypass most of it. That’s fine, except then he’s left alone to fight the ghouls and ghasts. The other players curse and rush into the trap to catch up. They survive the trap, but the ever talkative Knick Knack does not. Having some metal on him, he is melted into nothingness and his last words of banter are spoken as his spirit leaves the door knocker: “Make sure... you put this... in my book...”

Nysyries breaks: Speaking of demands, Wave (which goes to Nysyries) wants only one thing—devotion to the sea god, Poiseden, whose power forged it and whose divine hands once wielded it. Nysyries agrees, this seems easy enough, but she do’esnt realize how complete the devotion is. She now worships and believes ONLY in Poiseden, who claims her soul as his own. Poor Nysyries: she has had her soul bargained and affected at least three times in this adventure. This latest bargain shatters her agreement with Nazragul and in a sudden moment of sharp clarity, she is free of his influence, reverting from Lawful Evil to Lawful Neutral alignment. This will have heavy implications in the finale of the adventure as she now no longer feels compelled to retrieve and use the soul jar to decimate Brindol.

Random Encounter: I roll a few random encounters while in White Plume Mountain. It’s a dungeon from the days where this is part of the expectation of the dungeon crawl and we have some fun with bugbears, a wight, and an invisible stalker during the players’ time in the mountain. The last random I roll is a pair of gagoyles and with one casting of Blight, Nysyries shows that they are simply not a match for her and Aldric. Now, I am not against a good figbht to break up the pacing of a dungeon crawl, but fights that feel like they are cannon fodder just don’t appeal to me. Yes, yes, they use up spells so fights against bosses are harder, but anytime I feel myself getting bored as a DM I take it as a red flag that the adventure needs a twist.

Thus, the Gargoyles stop fighting and begin arguing amongst themselves:

“Hey, Bruce, these guys are pretty tough. Maybe they could help us”?

“Shut up Lenny! We agreed we’d do this on our own. It’s our home, it’s ours to defend.”

“Yeah, I know, but they are really tough. It’d be nice if they’d help us. And they do kind of owe us for attacking us like that. Look, my left wing is totally shattered Bruce!”

Yes, these are Lenny and Bruce (I know, it was the first two names that came to mind), two mated gargoyles who have lived in White Plume since before the gnome infested it with monsters and turned it into his own personal fun house. Now the two, having made a promise to each other ages ago that they would make this their home and not let anyone come between their love, are determined to take on the cosmically strong gnome and reclaim their home!

It’s a sad little hope, as the gnome will doubtless turn them into dust—or his puppets—but they make an impression on the players, who agree to have them along, thinking at the very least they can soak some damage or show them the way past any traps. I think it also goes to show that players like variety, too, and that random encounters don’t always have to end in two sides hitting each other until one dies.

Boots of Lava Walk: I think I mentioned in a previous blog post that one of Aldric’s magical items are boots of lava walk which make him resistant to fire damage and his feet immune to it? Then it also bears mentioning that the group comes across a room where they have to leap from platform to platform over a pool of bubbling lava.

Nysyries turns into a quetzalcoatl and flies over the lava, carrying another monster they won to their side: a Flesh Golem that Aldric names Brutus, and who loves Aldric like he is his creator. There isn’t much time to develop this relationship though, as Nysyries is knocked off course by an exploding geyser of lava which damages her enough to transform back into her draconic form. Lenny and Bruce save her, but Brutus tumbles to his fiery death in the lava and Aldric is left to find his own way across the lava room. This goes fairly well, as it is a series of atheltic checks he makes while the room explodes in lava geysers behind him, and Aldric is very athletic. But on the last roll, he rolls incredibily low and there is only but one situation that can arise from this (pun intended): the lava explodes underneath Aldric and he rides the lava geyser to the top of the room and leaps off to makes the final jump to the platform at the end of the room.

Laying Old Plots to Rest: the fight against the Herzou (whose health I have buffed) is just as epic as I wanted it to be. It starts with everyone expecting a vampire (I leave the coffin as it is in the original module, and Lenny and Bruce also know that a vampire usually lives in here). But when Aldric opens the coffin, he sees instead the body of Tyrion laying in the coffin. The gnome, Keraptis, appears and taunts the players with their final challenge (freezing Lenny and Bruce in place as they try to assault him). Moments later, the Herzou emerges from Tyrion’s corpse and attacks.

Fang, claw, and blade clash as Aldric and the Herzou rush at each other. The Herzou gets the best of this match up, criting on Aldric and throwing him across the room to slam into Nysyries. Lenny and Bruce leap to the rescue, each of them grabbing onto the Herzou and holding it in place while Aldric charges it again and Nysyries launches her moonbeam. But this only lasts a short time. The Herzou crushes Lenny’s head to dust in his hands and holds Bruce up to the moonbeam, using it to destroy him. Then he prepares to engage Aldric again.

This is the turning point of the battle. Nysyries casts contagion on the Herzou, inflicting it with slimy doom forcing it to be stunned after it takes damage. And between moonbeam, one critically failed roll, and Aldric still pounding on it, the Herzou remains stunned for four rounds, just taking massive damage during this time. But not enough to kill it. Now completely enraged, it shakes off the contagion and charges Nysyeries, who has retreated from the room into a small hallway. Aldric tries to leap at the Herzou to stop its approach, but it swings around and knocks him aside with another critical hit, flinging him unceremoniously across the room. Then it proceeds after the terrified Nysyries.

Nysyries uses her staff of swarming insects to create a wall of locusts, but the insects do little to hamper the Herzou, who ignores their stings and bites and comes through them like parting a curtain, his fanged mouth open wide to bite Nysyries in two. He charges, intending to knock her back into the lava room and cast her into the lava after taking a couple of bites out of her. They roll opposing strength rolls, the Herzou adding +8 to his roll for this charge and getting a total of 20...

... and Nysyries rolls a natural 20 and adds her strength, beating the Herzou by a slim margin. Against all odds, she plants herself and bears the brunt of the demon’s charge, holding it back.

As she does so, she hears a snippet of song coming down the hallway, sounding as if it emanates from the Herzou itself: “Smash the rock, crack the rock, bash the rock!”

Tyrion, She thinks, recognizing the verse and the voice. But no, Tyrion is dead. This is but the echo of him. It is enough though. It grants her bardic inspiration and she uses it to drive her trident, the powerful Wave,up through the Herzou’s mouth and into its brain, killing it.

As the demon dies, its body dissolves in a pool of hot flesh and blood, in the middle of which is the handaxe, Heartcarver. Heartcarver was once the handaxe of a young woodsman who fell in love with a dryad. His story was destined for tragedy, as his fellow woodcutters burned the dryad’s forest out of jealously. They used the young man’s own axe to fell the Dryad’s tree, inadvertently laying a terrible power upon the weapon. It eventually passed into the hands of the royal family of Rhest, who knew of its powers and how to wield them. And it, like Blackrazor and Wave, played an unknown role in the fall of that kingdom.

With this fabled axe in hand, Nysyries steps back towards Aldric, who is a little peeved that she and not he got the killing blow on the beast. But as they step towards each other, the cavern walls shift and blur and suddenly they are out in the forest, the final laughter of the gnome echoing in their ears:

“Thank you so much for playing my game! Hee hee hee!”

“Aldric.” Nysyries hissed the name through clenched teeth, trying to draw the bearded man’s attention back to her. But it was no use. He continued walking towards the woman half submerged in the water, pulling at his breeches as he moved forward, everything else forgotten. Even Blackrazor lay discarded back by the gnarled tree roots that snaked together to form a bridge extending partway into the lake.

The woman was beautiful. Never had a word more closely fit a creature, as if it had been invented for her, by her, invented for her use and traded out to others by her permission alone. The water lifted her skirts and they floated about her. Beneath them was a color that suggested pale, naked, skin and hinted at pleasures lying in wait for any who would join her in the lake.

But Nysyries knew better. This was her patron, after all, the creature she was bound to. She had tasted blood and death for her. Now she ran along the root bridge towards Aldric, who was being drawn into the woman’s embrace. She heard Aldric gasp in surprise as the woman’s lips closed over his and her long black hair rose from the water like a living thing to ensnare him and pull him under. His eyes were rolled back in his head. His lips were flecked with blood. As for her, her neck was exposed as she tilted her head to watch him sink under the water.

Nysyries brought the Heartcarver down on that uncannily perfect neck. It was smooth like sanded stone and, like stone, it did not break under the axe’s touch. Instead a fleck of blood beaded under the small cut Heartcarver had made and the woman looked up with eyes that promised death.

“Traitor,” she said, not loudly, but with all the menace of an approaching storm.

“Aim for the heart,” a voice said in her mind and without thinking on it, Nysyries adjusted the Heartcarver to her other hand and swung sideways as the woman reached for her. The axe bit into the woman’s chest and this time blood exploded out, the torrent like a wine casket split in two. Aldric began to cough and he pulled himself out to shore, scrambling away from the water that was deepening to a dark red behind him.

The woman wept. But she lived. Nysyries wanted to strike her again, to make sure this was ended, but the woman pulled away, clawing her way to shore after Aldric. Aldric grabbed Blackrazor and made to cut her down, but the sword spoke: “No!” it said. “Do not touch her. She is tainted. Tainted by my brother.” And for once, Blackrazor sounded afraid.

So it was that the woman of the lake lay herself down, her eyes wide and staring at the sunset lit canopy of trees above her. In time, Nysyries stood over her, but before she could lift Heartcarver again, the woman sighed.

“Twyin?” she said, the name a question. “I... see you. Do you see our son? He looks like you, Twyin. He looks strong.”

Nysyries waited, but the woman said no more. Nysyries felt a weight slough off of her. She knew the curse was finally ended.

“I’ve had better dates,” Aldric said.