#i had to redo some stuff to fit the limit and i am so annoyed but its fine

[lammydraws]

Bishop AU Timeline (roughly)

I know my Bishop AU is the most convoluted mess since I only drop fluff doodles and angst comics left and right. I hope I can clear some things up with this rough timeline post. Questions are as always welcome.

It'll be long. (The google doc I wrote is 17 pages long...) I link to each individual post I made.

Bishop AU Lamb - they / them (preferred), any (acceptable) (click!)

Follows canon/average playthrough mostly. Lamb gets sacrificed as the last of their kind and send to The One Who Waits, who offers them life in exchange for their service in freeing him. (click!)

Lamb becomes cult leader, runs cult

They fall in love with TOWW and get romantically involved with him, and later also the twins. (click!)

Lamb kills Bishops

TOWW expects them to lay down their life and return the crown, since he does not see any other way this would work. Lamb feels betrayed and thinks he lied (about his affection) and manipulated them. (click!)

They fight, win but cannot get themselves to kill Narinder. (click!)

He is injured, fallen from godhood and has to live life as a mortal.

Narinder gets indoctrinated into the cult, but feels equally betrayed by Lamb as they are by him, so they hate each other and feel a lot of pain about the situation. (click!)

They fight often. (click!)

5 years post-Gateway Narinder Quests start, Lamb does the quests, they also find a special place (Crown statue) where they find themselves at night sitting and talking frequently. (click!)

Over the span of another 5 years Lamb completes Narinder quests, they both manage to heal and get over all the stuff that happened.

They notice they are both still infatuated with each other. (click!)

They meet at the crown statue and have their first actual kiss.

They get back together, but take things more slowly this time around. After all, there is no rush since they're both immortal. (click! click! click! there are so many ngl,,)

Some time later (roughly 1-2 years) Lamb brings forward that they want to resurrect the twins, so they do research into getting the ritual to work. (click!)

Lamb is injured from the ritual, but recovers.

Twins now are followers to Lamb’s cult, and keep their immortal status. They also date Lamb again. (click!)

A couple hundred years post-Gateway Lambs body slowly grows, eventually they achieve ascension to godhood. (click!)

They open their 3rd eye, receiving Godhood status.

They are eager to try out their new abilities, once their body recovers. Narinder, Aym and Baal also join them on crusades. (click!)

Eventually they grow tall and take on the Bishop title, with their domain being death due to the Red Crown. (click!)

They no longer use the red crown (it is sleeping), but manage to figure out a way to put some  of the crown’s power into an amulet/bell. (click!)

He gets flashback from his time in his former form and imprisonment when using it for the first time.

He is in service to Bishop Lamb, their right hand and second in command. (click!)

[what-shitfuckery-is-this-ew]

A Critique of Riordan's: Neurodivergency

tldr: Rick made ADHD and dyslexia superpowers in the books which fit the time he wrote the books, but it's not accepted now cause it diminishes neurodivergent struggle. At the same time he made autism coded characters the 'annoying' ones and had a very racist thing of having the only neurotypical be Frank.

He tried to fix it in the show. It worked for about 3 seconds.

TW: Ableism, Autism speaks mention, r slur, anti-schizo stuff.

This paragraph is useless so don't read if you don't want to: Sitting in my drafts are 3 different 'A critique of Riordan's' posts i made as i tried to redo my full critique of the Riordanverse with a little more positive feedback and a little less Rick Riordan is the devil spawn. I have decided to not do it in order because because i watched the show and i noticed some things which were iffy and others which were great. So yeah neurodivergency first. Enjoy and think Critically.

Books

Research and Diversity

The books were written in the early 2000s for Rick's son who has ADHD and dyslexia

As a result, it takes on a very "your ADHD and dyslexia is a superpower" message which were popular during the time, but we recognise now has delegitimised neurodivergent struggles

Also as a result, the books were very focused on his son's symptoms, and represented ADHD as a monolith which quickly turned into stereotypes (e.g jumpy, impatient and fast reflexes becoming the connecting feature of half-bloods)

It got so unresearched that at one point he said:

He also talks about coffee in a similar way, despite sugar and coffee not making us more hyperactive and instead making us sleepy. Unless all the scientists and people with ADHD are wrong i really don't know this works.

and also said this: "Leo was extremely ADHD even by demigod standards" Like what

But the worst part about the PJO books was that the neurodivergency was limited to the first book. Percy's ADHD and dyslexia magically vanish and honestly it's only really brought back up in HOO every now and then (not very well might i add)

Ways he could have improved:

He could have given other characters, like Annabeth, more diverse symptoms of ADHD. It wasn't that hard, For Annabeth recognise that she as a 'gifted kid' is more likely to have undiagnosed and so have to face the issues related to being undiagnosed and/or being both a gifted kid and having ADHD, and then also give her more symptoms common to girls like being really chatty or frequently daydreaming.

Continuing having ADHD (and dyslexia) as constant parts of the novels rather than throwaway lines. Build it into the characters actions and persona rather than add it on like an accessory

Research. Never stop researching. Always reach out to people with the disorders and ask them to help. Writing is nothing without research.

Get sensitivity readers

Grammar

This is really minor, but he keeps say ____ was ADHD, and like gramattically that's a no. I am not a disorder i am a person with a disorder . Note for autism, the prefered grammer is Autistic person (aka turn into adjective and describe, something we can't do with ADHD)

Nico and Leo

Making Leo and Nico the 2 characters who were annoying and unlikeable (to everyone else not to fans) was really weird cause these 2 characters were the autistic coded ones.

NOTE: I did see a post explaining it better in the past, and i will link it when/if i find it again.

Tyson and the R Slur

I genuinely think he tried to make the r-slur scene show that it was bad, but the way Percy reacted to it wasn't quite right. Especially for childrens books these things need to be really clear. So it was good to make a bad bully character who was hated say it, but he could have made it better by skipping Percy saying "He’s not r*tarded" and go straight to "I had to try really, really hard not to punch Sloan the face."

The scene was ok, it could have been better, but again these were written in the 2000s, we have to acknowledge that.

Percy and School

Now this is interesting because this is more recent. Percy tried really hard in school and was smart, it was part of his characterisation. But he never did well in school, because that's how his disability affected him (especially since it was the American school system which we all know is shit and even more shit for people with learning disabilities).

The problem stems from TSATS, where Percy is made out to skip school, and not try at all (feeds into people with ADHD do bad cause they don't try/are lazy)

credits to @aroaceleovaldez

Racism: Frank Zhang

Frank Zhang the only Asian member of the 7 has no form of neurodivergency, despite the rest of them all having. It must be a just coincidence that there's a stereotype that asians are really smart and good at maths and the fact that the rest of the Romans have dyscalculia/s.

It's not weird at all that the character instead has lactose intolerance, which is really common in East Asia unlike dyslexia, ADHD or dyscalculia, which has such a low rate of diagnosis because there is a large stigma behind the disorders and because white people don't think Asians can have learning disabilities/s. No not weird at all that the dude is described with symptoms of dyspraxia but Rick refuses to recognise he is not neurotypical/s

I'm stepping out of sarcasm speak to remind you that Asians with learning disabilities are significantly less likely to get diagnosed with anything because:

because their parents won't let them until they have no other choice (glares at my parents) because there's a massive stigma behind intellectual/learning/development disorders in these communities

When we do try to get diagnosed our claims are diminished because of racist stereotypes and the belief that booksmarts/giftedness = no learning disability. It means most psychologists and psychiatrists (who are usually white) think that all Asians are smart so they don't ever have any form of neurodivergency and we're left to struggle.

Schizo Rep

Octavian. Villain. Schizo. Again.

Do i even need to explain this?

Show

Not actually a specific disorder - Percy just has a learning disability

Interestly Percy's dyslexia is just never talked about, And even his ADHD is never mentioned by name. He's got a random learning disorder which isn't specified. At first i assumed it was still ADHD cause the books, but watching more, you realise they aren't actually focusing on what learning disorder he has and what he has to deal with as a result of that. It's just a generic learning disorder.

Which is weird because learning disorders are all different and we all face different things, even with the same disorder. So placing all learning disorders in the same group? not good. Don't know what i expected from disney, but it wasn't this.

Autism Speaks

So the show tried to acknowledge that Percy was constantly told he was special and heroic when he really wanted to have help for his issues and for people to recognise that he has problems and those are bad. It also represented less stereotypical adhd symptoms (though whether that's because the disorder is no longer adhd or whether they wanted more inattentive symptoms to be present, we'll never know)

but then it went ahead and used a broken puzzle metaphor for his neurodivergency?

Puzzle piece metaphors when talking about any form of neurodivergency are a no go because the creators of the metaphor literally want Autistic people dead.

I DON'T GIVE A SHIT THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE AUTISM, WE ARE NOT ALLIES TO THE AUTISM COMMUNITY IF WE USE THE LANGUAGE AUTISM SPEAKS CREATED

Not only that but a broken puzzle is not a good way to represent us anyways because NEURODIVERGENTS AREN'T BROKEN.

[variousqueerthings]

I’ll scratch his eye out / It wasn’t me who ran doctor. That was always you

The Magicians Apprentice/The Witch's Familiar. listen, yes Missy is a stupid name, yes I hope I never have to hear the "oh Missy you're so fine" joke again, but fuckn. Michelle Gomez just kills in this role. and also, look. look. there's some absolute bangers in every era and the Master gets it in this episode when she says, "We're Time Lords, not animals. Try, nano-brain, to rise above the reproductive frenzy of your noisy little food chain, and contemplate friendship. A friendship older than your civilisation, and infinitely more complex." ohhh one could talk about these two messy benches forever

anyway, we have a rating's system and because this season is made up of two-parters, we rate it as a two-parter!

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 8/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored, or given agency to her emotional interiority): 6/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 6/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 7/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 5/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 9/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 6/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 7/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 7/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 6/10

FULL RATING: 67/100 (if I can count….)

I basically feel like the second episode pulls up the first one, which is fair, the first is largely a set-up. but I also just think the second episode is better in that you've already gotten past the stuff that maybe annoyed you a bit, and now you've bought into the concept that you (I) weren't completely onboard with and it's chill now. also I just. what am I gonna do? it's the Master. everything is better when the Master is there (not for Clara of course, but for me)

but hey, I would call this a good episode! you hear me M*ffat, I think you're capable of writing a good episode!

OBJECTIFICATION: we're ok on the whole on this front. there's still a liiittle bit of that "Missy is a Lady Now And Says Mad Lady Things" but it's not at all as bad as just last season, and actually we do get some genderbending, as well as non-heterosexualisation of the Doctor's and the Master's relationship

PLOT-POINT: Clara has evolved. not onscreen though, she's just working for UNIT now, alongside her school teacher job. she's also very... idk impressive? she gets stuff that UNIT people don't get, which puts UNIT as a whole to shame, including Kate Stewart whom I feel hasn't been given much to do so far since her introduction in s7. that's a whooole other can o' worms though

I feel like part one Clara is categorised a bit differently to part two Clara. I feel weird about... well, the way I feel about Clara as a character. I still feel like she doesn't fit for me, and that may be because she never had an introduction that worked for me, and I'm not sure why the Doctor continues to put faith in her as a Companion after the events of season 8, or why she would be involved with UNIT at all, or how she moved from end-s8 to beginning-s9.

but then her and the Master!

I do like that she's out of her depth opposite Gomez!Master, it humanises her more than when she's travelling with the Doctor and seemingly just becoming whatever the Moment needs her to be (incredibly smart, out of her depth, waiting for the Doctor to cue her, confident or scared, asking questions so the Doctor can be smart, etc). she tries to be very cool and capable, and Gomez!Master outsmarts her with ease every time in a way that puts her in very real danger. and Clara tries to be on the same wavelength, and just... fails to be, because the Master is a terrible no good person who loves fucking with her. it's great Companion-but-evil dynamic

she gets taken down a peg and that works, but I do wonder about the peg she was on, so to speak. whether that peg, as it were, was good character-writing. this is pretty neat, but that's the thing about Clara that I think is a problem. her foundations as a character feel rocky to me, not because of what I feel we know about her (relatively consistent as of season 8 -- control-freak, which is the most consistent characterisation from the beginning, as well as being someone who is quite self-centred in her emotions and her priorities. she's also someone looking for fun and adventure, and often doesn't have a big thought about far-reaching consequences, she's very In The Now), but why others react to those traits in the way they do. why was there not more on the idea that she could kill someone? why does she work with UNIT, other than being a Companion? what are her relationships with people? (a note on s9 as well, her family never makes another return, which is a shame considering how we left her grandmother)

so, maybe I felt a bit of satisfaction watching the Master playing cat and mouse with her, but I'm not sure if I was meant to feel quite that gleeful about it?

COMPLEXITY: SOOOO this feels like a finale plot in an opening story, and I can acknowledge that was probably an experiment, but maaan would I have enjoyed this as an actual finale episode with a bit of season-long teasing and build-up more

EDIT: OKAY I REALISE WHAT THE ACTUAL EXPERIMENT OF THE SEASON IS! TWO-PARTERS LET'S GO! still think this one would have been a very good finale, rather than an opener (I think the next two that I just watched would have been good openers, anyway)

EDIT 2: having watched the finale episodes, I think this was a better episode than that, personally, or at least not right at the beginning... we'll see if I change my mind when I review those episodes, but I thought hell bent was... odd

on the whole it's quite simple, Davros is calling for the Doctor because he's seemingly dying, and here I stop again because I've been having some conversations about DW's broken continuity, but I do think M*ffat pushes that more than he should within this prolonged era -- that is RTD-onwards, and bringing Davros back "just cos" at this point without explanation is juuuust, feels a bit like more work could have been done to make that make sense rather than the montage with the snake man. snake man btw. cool concept, I guess, but for some reason Did not work for me, and I think it's because it makes no sense for him to be there other than to be a cool concept -- yes yes he captures the Doctor a few times, but there could have been a non-snakeman doing that, especially considering this the Daleks. why work with snakes?

snake-conglomeration I should say. no what was that, confederate? constellation? a communion of snakes in the shape of a person. see, cool concept, shouldn't have been this episode iiin my opinion, gimme a whole snake-centric episode

oh yeah, we have another montage and the snake conglomeration is like oooh new spooky villain, and the Doctor is pretending or thinks he's dying I guess -- it's that build-up that's messy, once we actually get to Skaro (wait, I didn't actually check if they are on Skaro, I'm just making an assumption) the episode comes together better in my opinion

so just like. getting past that beginning. with the Doctor playing the electric guitar and fucking with time" just cos" which I mean, the Doctor has done a bit of fucking with time here and there, but to this extent just to do it?? it doesn't work for me, it doesn't mean anything, it's just there to show off Peter Capaldi's sick guitar skills (that is Capaldi isn't it? I think it is, considering he plays guitar for the reason of the season)

also the medieval person turns out to be one of those secret daleks, and can I just say how much I for some reason Do Not Vibe with this concept. I think it's one of my pet peeves of this era - in that I cannot pinpoint why I dislike it so much - no wait, I can, it's because it's a get out of jail free card, just thrown around whenever to cause a *gasp oh no secret dalek plot* around with a side of body-horror, but not once do I think it's been useful for actual plot/feel like there wasn't just a straight-up better way X thing could've happened

I'm not gonna get into dalek-lore purism, because ehhhh, I do have some opinions, but frankly I'm not well-versed enough in classic who to blow that trumpet too much. but it feels silly. didn't the dalek have a secret killer child thing going on in classic!who though?

anyway. hope to not see these again once the era has ended

point is, M*ffat still struggles with Concepts and Scenery that are just there to "look good" but don't serve the plot

the rest of the plot once we're on Skaro, very enjoyable, truly did enjoy, obviously Julian Bleach is a king and the idea of the Doctor currently desperately wanting to believe in forgiveness and growth and just getting spat in the face for that (while still having a plan B, albeit a terrible one), yeahhh that's what I've wanted to see a bit more of

the Master's shenanigans? the sewers of decomposed daleks? Clara yelling for the Doctor to hear her? fun stuff, really truly

oh also I was initially annoyed by this one thing at the beginning, but then I changed my mind as it went along, especially with the ending, and it was because it's kind of a classic M*ffat thing, where the "smartest character in the room" has a little monologue/test situation with the "normie" character to see how smart they are

in this case though, the Master is flipping hilarious about it (even though I cannot see how Clara could have come to the conclusion she did, where does that knowledge come from, this is what I mean about her being characterised for whatever the Moment requires, because then later on the Master gives honestly Very Clear Instructions on how to control the dalek casing and Clara doesn't get it at all or have any kind of hand in saving herself in exactly the same way later on!) and then it comes back at the end with a fun little wink

Argh Gomez!Master is just so gooooood all the time. and youknow, not good, still a villain, but having a blast. do want to have more of a think about the ways the Master is characterised in each era, once I've seen Dhawan, because I think he takes a left turn once again into absolute "fuck you Doctor" villainy, and I like how their dynamic keeps me on my toes

a lot of the Stuff that M*ffat has the Doctor do that makes me dislike him, is great when the Master does it, because it's absolute asshole behaviour. when she's making people around her feel small or stupid, of course she is. when this iteration of the Doctor does it, I just don't root for him (this does however get better, as I remembered it did -- but it's a shame it took roughly a third of twelve's runtime to do so)

does it make sense that Davros is chilling and dying there and just waiting to lure the Doctor over? Mmmm wish there had been more build-up. is it great once we get there? awww yeahhh

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: the Master is alive (shocker). Clara... works for UNIT? sometimes? EDIT: OH THE WAY THIS IS TOTALLY RIDICULOUS BUT WE'LL GET TO THAT WITH THE ZYGONS Davros is ali- oh Skaro is destroyed (seriously hope this is Skaro otherwise I'm just saying shit). The Doctor had some actual growth as a character at last! in a way that interacts with Gallifrey being out there somewhere and growth post-time war, it's good, it's good stuff

COMPANIONS MATTER: Clara. ah, the eternal issue I think with M*ffat's companions is the way they're there to ask questions, do as their told, get into trouble, get saved, rinse and repeat

this time there is some twist, in that Clara is almost entirely hanging out with the Master and it's the evil inverse of the Doctor and Companion (as I'm sure it was meant to be). it does have Clara be a tad too flipping gullible, seriously, latest when the Master handcuffs you while a Dalek is approaching, Do Not Do What She Says!

have there be some real pushback or deliberation -- if Clara had tried to say "no this is my final straw" and the Master had idk, knocked her out and she'd awoken in the Dalek casing, or if she'd gone "I know you don't care about me, but we both care about the Doctor, so I am doing this, but if you mess with me, I swear I will find a way to get you," just... something a bit more substantial there

(another future-me EDIT: I think it's a shame as well that this is the last time Clara and the Master interact. there was actual pretty good bones in that, and they don't go anywhere)

that being said, the end when the Master is saying she died and trying to get the Doctor to shoot her and she's screaming at him from inside, fun fun fun good fun

still wish there was stronger background to Clara and the Master than "just cos" (I seem to have written that a few times this episode -- it truly isn't the most "Just cos" episode I've seen, it's just that a few hens have come home to roost, so to speak, so we're noticing that it's showing dynamics that could have been established better, but fuck it we run with them now! EDIT: I was running with them, but they never came back 😭)

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: this was fun Doctor stuff. bit of angst, bit of growth, bit of conversation with an old enemy, bit of manipulation and torture, these are classic hits, Capaldi is doing them so well after a season of just being... so dour the whole time

we may have undoured our Doctor at last! or at least made the dourness fun to watch and not soul-suckingly annoying

(I am still not sure about the whole tank-thing I thought that whole scene was oddly framed, there's "we're doing Doctor Who and so we can fuck around a bit" and "we're doing Doctor Who so we're not thinking about core things that drive our character like, idk, not randomly fucking with time")

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: Davros! why? (Just cos). that's fine. there's some mentions of things as well, fun times. I do wish Big Villains wouldn't just appear in a random episode without it having meaning that this is why they appear here, but at least this isn't a Victory Of The Daleks

“SEXINESS”: unsure where to put this, but I think this is the first episode that hints at Clara being bisexual. she mentions that Jane Austen was a very good kisser as an aside

I get that one doesn't have to show an equal amount of interactions indicating attraction for a character to be established as bi, but it would be nice if it's more than this and the clone-moment that I know is coming up (EDIT: realise the clone-moment comes from a short, and it was a terrible no-good-horrible sexist short, although I do love Clara interacting with the Tardis)

EDIT FROM THE FUTURE: yeah we really don't get much more than this. another joke about Jane Austen in "Face The Raven"... it's a bit meh, on the whole

as a contrast -- ways I enjoy a bit of flirtation - the Master has this line early on about how Davros is the Doctor's arch nemesis and she'll "scratch his eyes out," and then right at the end when she saves the Doctor she also pokes him in the eye. lol. queen

INTERNAL WORLD: listen, this does nothing to fuck with the Daleks (looking at you, Asylum my old enemy) so I am happy! also the Dalek sewers, yeah, yeah I am into it

I have a question about UNIT being increasingly depicted as a secret service/secret military. I know it was always that but uh... where was that science first approach Kate? Kate, hey I have questions Ka- *gets black-bagged by UNIT who are absolutely an extra-judicial secret fucking service/paramilitary!*

POLITICS: In watching this I of course think of the Davros and disability drama that's happening around the interwebs, and firstly like. yeah, of course Davros is disabled, the Doctor literally steals his wheelchair in this episode and leaves him helpless on the floor... I think that's kind of the sort of thing RTD is responding to, acknowledge that it's an evil cripple trope

however of course, Davros is an iconic figure, and one isn't just looking for "good" people representation, one is also looking for Really Cool Characters as representation (I mean, in the children in need special he's pre-genesis of the Daleks so it's chill) -- the answer is of course just more disabled characters, in this case specifically wheelchair users, and I think maybe... don't have the Doctor stealing his wheelchair

I'm not sure what the response was at the time, I don't think this is the worst in disability I've seen this show do, buuuut optics maybe not the best way to go about this plot, especially as Davros is depicted really truly helpless in a semi-comedic way

I think because people -- and I might assume M*ffat here as well -- really often don't think of Davros as a disabled character, it's not the same in their head (or wasn't the same, I won't put this on M*ffat now- well I am watching Inside Man, so his general disability writing is still atrocious, but none of them are wheelchair users so who knows on that front) as, say, the Doctor stealing a wheelchair that looks like a wheelchair from someone who looks like we'd usually expect someone using a wheelchair to look (that is, not as a science fiction villain -- although if that's your vibe, you do you!)

it's an interesting lack of Seeing that I think that moment highlights, especially as otherwise -- including in this episode -- Davros is depicted as an interesting, multi-faceted evil character

big write-up to say mmmmm maybe not that particular thing again, but on the whole it's Davros as Davros has been historically depicted and as far as I can tell there wasn't a massive fuss about Davros being disabled to begin with... we just need to do more now (and like hey, hey, I too wish disabled villains upon all of our households, because villainy is fun, but the evil cripple trope is absolutely real, and I'm hoping this conversation about Davros is opening more doors and not closing our fun villain door just to depict us as goody goody two-shoes all the time -- but I don't think so. I'm glad this introduced the trope to so many people for the first time who'd never even heard of it before, I think that's a big win)

(also hey, are there Davros cosplays with functional wheelchairs? I need to know, I'm sure there are)

FULL RATING: 67/100 (if I can count….)

it's really all about the Master and the Doctor-and-Davros dialogue and the Doctor screaming in pain and that bit at the end where the Master almost has the Doctor kill Clara

that's the good stuff!

[chaoticpuff17]

A Dangerous Game

part 29

masterlist

Hello darlings! Enjoy some time with the maknae line! It’s a bit of a filler, but it’s leading up to the good stuff. I think it’s down to Jin or Hobi for my next fic so let me know. drop a comment. send an ask. message me. I’m always happy to hear opinion, ideas, thoughts. Let me know what you think! Love you guys!-- chaotic puff 

Namjoon was if nothing else a man of his word. Jungkook was returned to his position as her babysitter much to both of their relief. She got the company she had been craving, and Jungkook was happy to be back watching over her. While doing jobs for his hyung was exciting, the maknae had been on edge not keeping an eye on her, with no one keeping an eye on her. The last time he wasn’t there to keep an eye on her, everything had gone to hell. He didn’t want that happening again, not when she was finally back to her old self. It didn’t hurt that returning to being her guard came with an extensive amount of pumpkin bread.

The kitchen though was strictly off limits. Namjoon had had a conniption fit after Jungkook had let her use the kitchen and she’d managed to slice her finger while preparing lunch for the two of them. He’d even called Jin in to take a look at her convinced she needed stitches when it was only a little cut. It was easily bandaged and healed in no time. But none the less Namjoon had banned both she and Jungkook from the kitchen until further notice.

But that did not stop the pair from getting into trouble in other ways. There was the pumpkin carving incident, trying to give Moni a bath, reorganizing Namjoon’s half of the closet, and their latest project was redoing the master bedroom much to Namjoon’s unending horror. Her latest life goal was to make married bliss as uncomfortable for him as possible, and as none of her antics defied his rules or caused actual harm, there was nothing he could really do about it without being completely unreasonable. It helped that Jungkook was completely up for any and all mischief she wrought.

The mischief helped her to forget the phone that was burning a hole through the very old, very expensive urn that sat in the piano room. She’d hidden it there and prayed to every deity she knew of that Namjoon or any of the maids wouldn’t find it. She didn’t want to know what Namjoon would do with her if he found out that Mark had slipped her a phone. So instead she filled her monotonous days with mischief to keep everyone including herself distracted.

But messing with Namjoon, while delightfully fun, did not mean that Namjoon couldn’t mess with her as well. Two could play this game, and Namjoon was not one to be beaten. This involved fixing ties which he was perfectly capable of tying himself and far more time in the evenings spent with him. He’d taken to pulling her into the library to read with him when she had already been peacefully reading in the piano room, coming home to have lunch though they both knew this took time away from his very busy schedule, but he knew it annoyed her, so he did it. He put her in charge of planning their dinners, though he quickly found that to be a mistake when she had the kitchen bring lutefisk. To say that Namjoon hadn’t been a fan of the Norwegian dish had been an understatement. The look on his face had been worth the empty belly that night.

She and Jungkook were lounging in the piano room on that particular morning when Taehyung waltzed in boxy grin lighting up his face.

“Hyung!” Jungkook cheered his own bunny grin coming out. “What are you doing here?”

“I am here to help noona find a dress.” He announced.

“What dress?” She asked from her position on the piano bench. “I don’t go anywhere. And if you hadn’t realized, my wardrobe is already ninety-five percent dresses and skirts. I’m lucky that there were even a pair of slacks in there.” She scoffed gesturing to the comfortable pair of pants she’d chosen for the day.

“For the Christmas party.” His look clearly told her that she should know what he was talking about. “You’ll probably need one for the New Year’s gala as well.”

“The what now?”

“Oh yeah.” Realization dawned on Jungkook’s face. “We have the annual gala coming up. Something about Christmas makes all the local gangs come together. It’s mostly to pay tribute to Namjoon hyung. The gala is for the local gangs. The Christmas party is for us.” He explained.  

“And you need dresses for both.” Taehyung added.

“So we’re going shopping?” She asked brows still furrowed in confusion.

Taehyung’s grin was far too gleeful for comfort. “Oh no, noona. We’re bringing the shopping to you.”

And much to her eternal horror, he did.

She was ushered away to her original bedroom where a parade of dresses were awaiting her far more expensive than she ever dreamed of wearing. And she could with very little hesitance say she was overwhelmed. Had they brought the whole boutique with them? It certainly seemed like it to her.

“I only need two dresses.” She pointed out staring wide eyed at the assortment.

“Yes, but it’s all so pretty.”

“Plus, you can make a dent in hyung’s wallet.” Jungkook pointed out smile devious. He was very aware of her endeavor to annoy Namjoon to death, and was completely on board. They’d even on occasion gotten Jin and Yoongi to join in. Yoongi had been a part of the pumpkin carving incident, albeit reluctantly. Jin was involved in the remodeling, gleefully so.

Taehyung dove right into the racks of dresses searching through the fabric looking for the perfect dress for both parties.

“Is there a single dress in there that isn’t designer?” She asked watching Taehyung fascinated by how excited he seemed to be.

“Of course not.” A new voice scoffed from the direction of the door. There stood Jimin holding a bottle of champagne with a gentle smile on his face. They’d managed to smooth things over from the incident with the bludgeoning. The pumpkin bread didn’t hurt either. “How can the king of the crime world’s wife be seen in anything less than designer?”

“Jimin!” Taehyung cheered popping out from the sea of fabric he had immersed himself in. “Come look at these. Which one do you think would be good for noona?”

“Are we looking for the Christmas party or the New Year’s gala?”

“Both. But I think the dress for the Christmas party could be a little more casual than the gala’s dress. That one needs to be spectacular.” Taehyung explained. “I’m thinking Gucci. Maybe Dior?”

Jimin hummed in agreement handing over the champagne to Jungkook who was sitting with a very bemused Y/N. Who was very quickly handed a glass of champagne. “You can’t go dress shopping properly without champagne.” Jimin explained throwing her a smile.

“Or ass kissing.” Taehyung shot back.

Jungkook leaned in grinning from ear to ear. “We’re here to do the ass kissing.”

“Am I even needed for this?” She whispered almost afraid to dampen the excitement of the two other men.

“I think you’re required to play dress up.” He whispered back. “Just go with it. Jimin hyung and Taehyung hyung know fashion better than anyone else.”

“Which begs the question of why I’m still here?”

“To be a pretty pretty doll.” She scoffed shoving his shoulder lightly as she took a large gulp of champagne. “You’re going to be the prettiest princess at the party.” He continued.

“She’s not going to be a princess!” Jimin scolded throwing a playful glare over his shoulder. “She’s going to be the queen.”

“And all the peasants are coming to pay tribute.” Taehyung added coming over with a dress to compare the color to her skin tone, holding it up to her face. “Everyone that didn’t come to the wedding will be at the New Year’s gala.”

“There’s a peace agreement for the gala.” Jimin explained. “And since Namjoon hyung is the most powerful man in the country, let alone the city, everyone has to pay respects to him. He makes the rules.”

Her brows furrowed thinking over the information that they were giving her. “It sounds important.”

“It’s a busy night.” Jungkook confirmed. “Especially for hyung. He prefers the Christmas party. That’s just for Bangtan.”

“And we prefer the gala. It’s more fun for us.” Jimin chimed in his expression positively devious. “Hyung is too busy to police our activity.”

“Even Hobi-hyung lets loose.” Taehyung agreed. “It’s because of the peace agreement.”

“And no one who isn’t Bangtan can carry a weapon. They’re searched at the door.” Jungkook explained. “Hobi-hyung spends the entire week leading up to it doing security checks and making sure everything is ready to go for the big night. Then night of Yoongi hyung gets him so drunk he can’t see straight.”

“Yoongi does?” All three men nodded with solemn expressions. It was a well-established fact around here that Yoongi could outdrink all of them, and no one should under any circumstances even attempt to try to keep up with him when he got going. “And Hoseok lets him?”

“Hobi hyung usually goes home that night with one of the girls.” Taehyung shrugged showing Jimin another dress for a second opinion. “Everyone does.”

She leaned over to Jungkook again. “Do I want to know?”

“No.” He shook his head a light blush dusting his cheeks.

“What about this one?” Jimin asked holding up a red dress. “For the Christmas party?”

Taehyung practically pranced over to examine the garment before turning to her. “Go try this on.” He yanked her up from her seat shoving the dress into her arms and shoving her in the direction of the closet. “Go. Go.”

She did as told if only to avoid being shoved any more than necessary. “I’m going. I’m going.”

She walked back out a few minutes later doing in a sarcastic little turn to show off the dress, a floor length green number that was lovely, but the boy’s faces said otherwise.

“No. Take it off.” Jimin grimaced.

“That bad?” “It’s not for you. Better on the hanger.”

She turned back around and was only just taking off the dress when Taehyung walked in with another dress in hand.

“Taehyung!” She shrieked trying to cover herself.

“Try this one.” He tossed another dress at her not seeming to care that she was half naked.

“Out!” She yelped clutching the sparkly black fabric to her chest.

The response to this dress was just as non-enthusiastic as the first had been. Their reactions to the next five dresses were less than enthusiastic. They’d debated over a white dress, but eventually decided against it.

“How about this one?” She asked stepping out in a red midi length dress that hung off her shoulders. “Please tell me this one is good?”

“I like it!” Jungkook cheered already on his fourth glass of champagne.

“Spin.” Jimin ordered twirling a finger at her. “It’s wonderful on her figure.”

“And it’s a good color!” Taehyung agreed. “That’s the Marchessa one right?”

“I don’t know.” She groaned tiredly flopping onto the sofa with Jungkook. “Please tell me this is over?”

“You still need one for the gala.” Jungkook pointed out no sympathy in his tone.

Jimin and Taehyung were already looking at the more glitzy gowns ignoring her bellyaching and searching for something god knew what. She had never been a fan of shopping and the constant stream of dresses was beginning to get tiring.

“Go change out of that.” Taehyung ordered. “Hang it up. We’ll have it pressed for the party.”

“We still need shoes.” Jimin reminded him as she slumped her way back to the closet and to the mound of discarded dresses. “Namjoon hyung will take care of the accessories. He probably have jewelry all ready to gift to her. I’m thinking hair up for the red dress.”

“I’m thinking this for the gala.” Taehyung held up a floor length gown sporting a v-cut neckline and gold shimmering down from the shoulders to just below her hips in the front but farther down the skirt in the back. “It’s perfect, and it will make her boobs look great. And it’s Gucci.” He proclaimed proudly.

“You have seen enough of my boobs today.” She warned walking back out in her own clothing again. “That is lovely though.”

“And why has he seen your boobs today?” All of their heads snapped to the door where Namjoon was standing looking them all over frostily.

“Would you believe me if I said it was an accident?” She asked smiling nervously.

“Was it an accident?”

“Yes.” She nodded frantically not wanting to be the cause of Taehyung’s untimely demise. “Complete accident. No need to do anything drastic.” She waltzed over placing a soft kiss on his cheek to placate him. “Should we have tea?” She suggested painting on a bright smile. “I think someone needs to get some food into Jungkook anyway. He’s had a lot of champagne.”

She took Namjoon by the arm leading him out of the room chattering about mundane things while signaling behind her back for the boys to retreat and quickly.  

part 30