#i had to get a video from instagram and this scene is already a nightmare to color so that + ig quality equals i dont wanna talk about it

[rigginsstreet]

DACRE MONTGOMERY as JACK WENT UP THE HILL (first look)

[dawnoftime22]

lullaby.

| T.S

Warnings: no talking from R, a very light nightmare, and panicked/fast heartrate

Summary: Taylor was doing her work in the middle of the night while you slept, until you had suddenly received a nightmare, leading to Taylor to help you fall asleep.

Word Count: 1k

Category: Fluff

A/N: you guys...I hit 500 followers and I'm BEYOND in disbelief. I'm so so happy I wanna squeeze each and every one of you in a hug!! I loooove you all sm - I'm thinking of doing a special for it, although I would have to push myself a little and get my motivation back up. who knows, I'm hoping to maybe do a comfort week where I post comforting fics each day in a week for the times that anyone needs them :]

| Started on 28/06/2024, 2:26 AM |

| Finished on 28/06/2024, 8:30 PM |

Main Masterlist | T.S Masterlist

“My, my, your gentle voice, oh, to be softly soothed with as I fall asleep.”

|——————————— ⸆⸉ ———————————|

You were asleep, laying on the bed with your breathing deep and soft. It was quiet, a peaceful atmosphere as the cats, too, were sleeping.

Taylor was still awake. But it wasn't without reasons, as she had emails and work to do before tomorrow arrives, and also a melody stuck in her head too.

She had told you to sleep before her earlier, just because she knows you've had a long, exhausting day as she did. Even though you tried to stay up to accompany her, it was obvious you weren't able to keep your eyes open, so, a few minutes of cuddling had you sleeping within seconds.

The laptop screen made her squint through the dimly lit room, reading the words of a document, or her notes she had to check for anything she's forgotten.

A yawn escapes her mouth, and as her fingers made the keyboard keys clack with her typing, she felt herself getting sleepy.

Her eyes travel to the clock. It was 2 am. The night was still young, really, for any nights she's ever wanted to stay up for. But she wouldn't deny some sleep for now, especially with you already in slumber.

Deciding she needed at least a break, she makes sure everything is saved and mostly done on her laptop before looking to the side to grab her phone.

The screen was unlocked after seeing a picture of you and her, with Meredith, Olivia, and Benjamin at the bottom. A smile raises upon her lips, her eyes going to your, thankfully, still sleeping figure.

She closes her laptop and set it aside before scooting closer to you slightly, then returning to her phone. The screen shows instagram loading up, and she uses her index finger to scroll, seeing posts and stories of her friends and other celebrities.

The gentle hum of her voice quietly sounds out, a smile still on her face, which raised up further at the sight of one of your posts; a photo of your hand, intertwined with hers, but a small cat paw joined in, atop the back of your hands.

She remembered when that happened. It was when you were sitting on the living room couch together, watching a movie. Taylor had reached your hand up to leave a soft kiss, and was about to settle it back down comfortably, when Benjamin's fluffy paw had come out of nowhere to touch your intertwined hands.

She scrolls a bit more, seeing Gracie's video of the fire in her kitchen. Again, Benjamin had come into the scene, but he was confuzzled with what he walked into. Taylor didn't even notice he was there when the situation was happening-- especially not when she was cursing at a fire extinguisher hoping her house wasn't going to burn down while Gracie was mindlessly holding up her phone.

She went to type a comment to the video, her thumbs hovering over the digital keyboard, but just as she did, she saw the smallest movement of your stirring in the corner of her vision.

Taylor senses the chance of your awakening, and her eyes lock onto your face with concern. But then, you had jolted out of your sleep with a sharp breath, your eyes snapping open.

Even with her surprise, she catches herself to gently wrap her arm around you, careful not to scare you further as she pulls you closer.

You look around panickly before you felt her hand moving in a soothing rhythm at your back. You find her blue eyes in the darkness, and she could see the vulnerability gleaming in yours.

Her face softens, and her hand moves up so she could gently make you lean against her forehead. "Shhh, it's alright." She whispers, letting go of her phone to wrap both her arms around you, making sure her phone was beside her instead of in between the both of you, just in case she accidentally moves atop it.

With a slow, gentle breath you let out, you snuggle close to her, your nose brushing against her neck, tickling the skin ever so slightly.

Although she was concerned, she could see it in your form; you were calm on the outside, but your rapid heart told otherwise. It was clear. You had a small nightmare, but thankfully not one enough to terrify all your being.

Taylor looks down, tilting her head to take a little peek at you. The tiredness and sleepiness was still in your eyes, the yawn that escapes your mouth told it further.

She smiles softly, turning to lay a soft kiss against the side of your head. Her hand was kept on your back, moving in a soothing motion still.

Minutes passed by, the white noise of the fan and A/C sounding through the room, and her own yawn coming from her mouth.

With a check on you again, she saw your eyes half open, but also not fully closed. The movement of your hand fiddling on her necklace also was a clear sign. You were having difficulty falling back asleep, and she knew you needed a small push.

With a gentle deep intake of breath that she releases slowly, she closes her eyes, leaning into you. A soft hum starts to quietly sound from her, a familiar melody that had your bleary eyes traveling up to her.

"I spy with my little tired eye, tiny as a firefly..."

"A pebble that we picked up..."

"Last july..."

All that filled the space now was her whispered words, starting to lull you to sleep. Her hands lovingly run through your hair, in hopes that it will calm you. With the melting relaxation of your body, it indeed did.

"Down deep inside your pocket,"

She smiles softly, looking at you once more with a warm smile, even while she too, was sleepy, it almost made it even sweeter.

"...We almost forgot it..."

"Does it ever miss wicklow...sometimes?"

Your eyes had grown heavier, and she watches as they finally close. Your breaths dissolve into a steadier, slower rhythm, and her humming matches with the timing.

"Mm, mm..." She hums softly, continuing on with her lullaby, until she too starts to fall asleep herself, joining you in slumber.

They said the end is coming...

Everyone's up to something...

I find myself runnin' home to your...sweet nothings...

Outside, they're push and shoving...

You're in the kitchen, humming...

All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing.

-----------

taglist <3 - join here! :]

@dmenby3100 @wandsmxmff @tia-thesimp @marvelwomen-simp @escapereality4music @fawnedolly @justgayloringeverthrone @lovelyy-moonlight @stevecore @midastouch013 @liloandstitchstan @maleahoswick @raven-ss

[movie-magic]

Ruby Rose Alleges Gruesome Injuries, Toxic Behavior on ‘Batwoman’ Set

“I will come for you so what happened to me never happens to another person again,” actress wrote on Instagram

Actress Ruby Rose detailed the injuries and difficult working conditions she says she and others endured while making the CW Arrowverse series, Batwoman.

Rose — who left Batwoman in May 2020 — leveled her allegations in a series of posts on Instagram Stories, which included video from doctors’ visits post-injury. She also detailed alleged injuries suffered by crew members and stunt people, while she accused Warner Bros. Television executive, Peter Roth, of hiring a private investigator to track her.

“Enough is enough,” Rose wrote in her first post, which was addressed to the CW, Batwoman showrunner Caroline Dries, and Greg Berlanti and Sarah Schechter of the show’s production company Berlanti Productions. “I’m going to tell the whole world what really happened on that set… I will come for you so what happened to me never happens to another person again. And so I can finally take back my life and the truth. Shame on you.”

Rose shared a handful of videos from doctors’ visits regarding injuries to her ribs and neck. Reposting a clip made during a neck surgery she underwent in 2019, Rose wrote, “To everyone who said I was too stiff on Batwoman, imagine going back to work 10 days after this … 10 DAYS! (Or the whole crew and cast would be fired and I’d let everyone down because [Warner Bros. exec] Peter Roth said he would recast and I just lost the studio millions (by getting injured on his set). … Instead of spending half a day to rewrite me out for a few weeks to heal.”

Rose went on to say she would never return to Batwoman for “any amount of money nor if a gun were to my head,” although also clarified that she did not quit. “They ruined Kate Kane and they destroyed Batwoman, not me. I followed orders, and if I wanted to stay I was going to have to sign my rights away. Any threats, any bullying tactics, or blackmail will not make me stand down.”

She then went on to share allegations involving dangerous workplace conditions and injuries she says were suffered by herself and others on the set. Rose claimed a crew member “got 3rd degree burns over his whole body, and we were given no therapy after witnessing his skin fall off his face.” She claimed that soon after, she was told she “had to do a sex scene without a minute to process.” Additionally, she said the show lost two stunt doubles, and she was once cut so close to the eye while doing a stunt, “I could have been blind.”

Rose also claimed that a PA was “left quadriplegic” following an incident on the set. While the incident was allegedly blamed on the woman being on her phone, Rose noted, “she’s a PA, they work via phones.” Rose added that the incident “occurred because our show refused to shut down when everyone else did because of Covid,” and that the showrunner, Dries, “wanted us to finish the season throughout the pandemic and I told her it was a bad idea… I told her everyone was too distracted, constantly checking Covid updates, checking on friends.” Rose said when the show was finally shut down it was not because of the PA’s injury, but because of the government mandate.

Elsewhere in her posts, Rose addressed Roth, the Warner TV exec, saying he allegedly made “young women steam [his] pants, around your crotch while you were still wearing said pants,” and that he allegedly hired a private investigator to track Rose, but fired them “as soon as the report didn’t fit your narrative.” “When it comes to you, there’s already an army waiting for u,” Rose wrote.

She also leveled several accusations against Batwoman co-star Dougray Scott: “Dougray hurt a female stunt double, he yelled like a little bitch at women and was a nightmare. He left when he wanted and arrived when he wanted, he abused women and in turn, as a lead of a show, I sent an email out asking for a no yelling policy, they declined.”

[aggravatetheaxe]

Hi there! I was wondering if I could request an imagine where a victim “escapes” from the slashers and hurts s/o in the process. What would the slashers do during and after? Thank you!!

Hi! I wasn't sure which slashers you wanted for this, so I put my list into a randomizer and went with the first 5!

Walter Sullivan

Thomas Hewitt

Jason Voorhees

Deacon Billings (OC Ghostface)

Erik ("The Phantom")

SLASHERS WHOSE VICTIM HURTS THEIR S/O

cw: mentions of suicide, reader being injured/in mortal peril, mentions of torture and killing etc etc

--

Walter Sullivan

Oh no. Oh dear.

You are possibly the only good, pure thing in this world or the Otherworld and someone hurt you? Walter is ... not happy, to put it lightly. The only person who should ever hurt you is him, and he won't do that unless it's for your own good.

This only enforces his belief that the world and everyone in it are monstrous. It drives home the truth he's already convinced of - this existence in terrible and torturous and needs to be destroyed if anything holy is ever going to be allowed to blossom again.

Whether The Victim is pre- or post- Walter's suicide, he's already stopping at nothing to go after them. He doesn't view it as personal, he doesn't hold any particular hatred for most (most) of his victims; they're simply links in a chain. But this person, the one who hurt you ... it's personal. They'll die in absolute agony.

If the victim in question is pre-suicide, Walter will bring them down and find somewhere to keep them for later. This will not be a quick death.

While they're bound/gagged or knocked out, he'll check on you. You're special, possibly even the Mother Reborn, and he can't let you die until the time is right. If you're seriously injured, he'll see to it that you're taken to the hospital, and pray to a dead God if he has to that you'll be alright. If you're not seriously injured, he'll do his best to patch you up - he lived on the streets for many years and had to take care of himself, so he knows basic first aid.

Once he's certain you're safe, he will put you somewhere where you won't witness what he's about to do. Even if you want to see it, he'll insist you stay hidden, saying the sinner doesn't deserve to be in your presence. You'll have to really convince him if for some reason you want to watch.

Their torture will depend on what they did to you. If it was just a few scrapes and cuts, he'll let them feel every ounce of pain before they die. If they really hurt you, their torture will be prolonged. In his mind, and according to his religion, death is a sacred sacrament, and this evil being doesn't deserve its release. If they did something to seriously traumatize and/or sully you ... the crime scene he leaves behind is going to be grisly, to put it lightly.

If the victim in question is post-suicide, the results will be similar, but he has absolute control over the Otherworld - and he will utilize that. He will have his creations take care of you and keep you somewhere safe ... they may be terrifying, but they won't hurt you unless he wills it. As for the victim, he can twist them into their worst nightmares over and over again before killing them. He will make them see their wrongdoings and pay for their evil. They will beg for mercy and there will be none.

After it all, he will simply move onto the next one, with you somewhere safe ... until it's time. Until it's time. You are so perfect.

Thomas Hewitt

Dammit. If he'd just been quicker or smarter, he could have caught them before they escaped and hurt you. He immediately blames himself.

There's no time to beat himself up over it, though. He briefly checks to make sure you're not bleeding from anywhere vital and sends you (or locks you up) somewhere safe before going after the victim. You're on your own for first aid for now - unless you're literally dying, he can't let them leave the property.

If you are literally dying, he's staying and doing all he can to help you. But if Hoyt yells, he may have to pawn you off on someone else and hope they do a good job taking care of you. He'll hold your face and give you tender kisses goodbye - whether you want them or not - because this might be the last time he ever sees you.

He chases the victim in a fever, much more erratic than you would expect from him. He's faster, less careful, more inclined to put himself at risk just to get a swing in at them. It's not generally anything personal when he kills someone - it's something he does for the good of his family, and because he was told to. This one he's not interested in saving for meat. They hurt you. You, his special person. He's going to grind them into the mud, and he's not even going to let Hoyt have a go at them.

Sometimes, sometimes, he struggles to see the animals in his victims. But this one ... he doesn't even feel the urge to twist them into an animal. That's a whole human, an evil one, one he wants to kill. It's a different feeling for him.

Once it's all over and everything's calmed down, he's rushing directly to your side. People don't come around all too often, so he's comfortable putting down the chainsaw for now. He neglects any skin projects he planned and lets someone else do the butchering, focusing on taking care of you, especially if you're seriously injured and put up in bed.

If you're not as seriously injured and tell him you're fine, he's still keeping an eye on you ... and making sure you're well-fed. You've been through a lot and it was all his fault. He doesn't want you to be exposed like that again. Next time someone comes around, he'll insist you hide somewhere.

Jason Voorhees

It's a toss up whether or not he'll actually notice you're hurt. Not because he doesn't care or anything, but because Camp Crystal Lake is a lot of ground to cover and there's a low chance he'll be in the same area as you at any given time.

For this imagine, though, let's assume you've found your way to him or he's sensed you're in trouble and has rushed to you.

You were supposed to be safe in the cabin, so he's a little irritated that you wandered out, but that's completely overshadowed when he realizes you're hurt. He stops everything he's doing and clinically and thoroughly pats you down, identifying every solitary injury.

Just like his mother before him, he is a vengeful soul, so he is not letting this go even if you're just scraped or bruised. If you are critically injured, he'll at least get you to the cabin and get a tourniquet on you.

Otherwise, he leaves you behind. Not very mindful, but you should know that he wants you to get back to the cabin or at least stay out of the way. He is no longer thinking of you - he has established his target and knows what he has to do. He's laser focused and decisive as he stalks after them, using anything at his disposal to get to them.

Their death is quick - he doesn't play around - but he has a lingering sense of irony and playfulness. If there's a particularly interesting weapon nearby, he'll take them out with that; or perhaps he'll hurt them in the way they hurt you, just, you know ... more fatal. And a lot gorier.

After that, he'll move onto their friends, until every last one is dead. Once his objective is completed, he is returning to you directly and finishing the job of patching you up.

He can't help but feel a little guilty that you were hurt. You shouldn't have left the cabin, true, but perhaps he should have been watching for you. He should have locked you up. Pamela might say rude things in his head. Then again, she might comfort him. If she doesn't like you, maybe she'll even wish he'd left you to die.

Deacon Billings (OC Ghostface)

Well ... you usually keep him around to scare off other Ghostfaces - something he's very handy at - but you don't usually run into trouble with his victims.

He doesn't really tell you to go anywhere in particular when he's killing. He knows you can take care of yourself. But now he feels stupid for not having a backup plan. Of course some asshole was gonna eventually identify you as his loved one and try to get cute. He should've had something prepared for that.

But, if he's good at anything, it's improvising. He skids into whatever room you're in, drops his weapon, and pulls his mask off right away to check you over. If you're only mildly injured, he's visibly relieved, and tells you to stay put while he deals with whomever hurt you. If you're more seriously injured, he'll grab your phone and shove it in your hand. "Get in the car, get the fuck out of here. Drive to the emergency room if you have to, just leave."

If you're unable to drive, he'll make you call emergency services - or call them for you, if he has to. The game is over, he's done playing; this isn't fun if he's not winning. Everyone in this place is gonna be dead and he'll be long gone by the time the ambulance shows up for you.

The one who hurt you is going to get an extra special surprise. A particularly grisly death, and a bunch of selfies/short videos of Ghostface with the corpse - taken with the victim's own phone, posted to their instagram, tiktok, facebook, sent to any discord groups, and any other social media they have. If he has the time, he'll even make them in meme formats (definitely posting with meme captions, the fucking troll). He'll probably send a copy to you as a "hey, look what I did!"

If there are survivors, especially if that survivor is the one who hurt you, you better believe he is immediately doxxing them. Since he's had a little time to cool down, he might even play the long game, maybe catfishing and blackmailing them. Ruining their pathetic little life even further would be pretty fun. In the end, though, they'll die like all the others.

When all is said and done, he's going to be there for you, helping you recover any way he can. He'd suggest rest (for an amount of time relative to your injury), some movies and candy, maybe some video games. And time spent with your favorite Ghostface, of course, right?

He'll never forget what happened, though. Even though the person is dead, he'll be stewing and pissed off about it for a long, long time. And he won't let something like that happen again, or at least, not without a contingency plan in place.

The hash mark/tally mark he stitches into his costume to symbolize this kill is gonna be twice as long and large as the others, maybe in the place you got hurt as a reminder.

Erik

You already know what's about to happen.

If anyone so much as hurts your feelings they're getting menaced and receiving a strongly worded letter - actually physically harming you? That's suicide.

If he can't immediately kill this person, or if you're seriously injured, his primary objective is helping/comforting you. He has to push down a lot of wrath to do it ... every instinct tells him to immediately dispatch the fiend responsible ... but you are more important to him than anything in this world, even revenge. He will administer any first aid you need and may even drug you with ether to ensure you rest.

Don't think that means your attacker is off the hook, though. As soon as he decides you're well enough, he will put you somewhere safe - lock you away if he has to - and kill them. His preferred method is the Punjab lasso, but if they did something particularly egregious, he'll knock them out and take them to his torture chamber. They have a lesson to learn before they go to Hades.

Another option is, like Deacon, playing the long game ... playing with his food, stalking them, making them live in fear before they die. But he has a lot of wrath in that skinny little body, so it's a toss up as to whether or not he'll actually be able to follow through with that for very long. It depends on his mood, really!

He will keep the killing and torture hidden from you, of course ... unless you express an interest in seeing the vengeance being carried out. He would be worried for you, however, and advise against it. Those sights are not for the faint of heart, and certainly not for someone as beautiful and good as you.

Once all is said and done, it's as if it never happened. As if that person never existed! What a happy thought! Sometimes you even think Erik has completely forgotten the incident ... until he's stalking another victim and he locks you away again, and you remember you are always on his mind. He will never, never let that happen to you again.

[caspianjames]

BONUS Up And Coming: Julie and the Phantoms

Up and Coming: Julie and the Phantoms Jennifer McCreedy, Junior Correspondent 

On this month’s issue of Up and Coming I had the privilege of sitting down with one of America’s biggest up and coming bands, Julie and the Phantoms. Julie Molina (17), Reggie Peters (18), Alex Mercer (17), and Luke Patterson (17) began rapidly gaining popularity as YouTube stars last fall. They created music videos for songs they wrote themselves, editing them to appear as if the band were ghosts “popping in” behind Julie. Don’t understand what I mean? You can click here to check it out for yourself!

The band has a strong air of camaraderie, and it’s the first thing I notice when I walk into the room with them. They’re all piled on our big interview couch, Molina and Mercer are pressed together whispering. Patterson is bantering with Peters and flicks him in the forehead. They’re like any group of teenagers bordering on adulthood, excited and eager to please. It’s immediately apparent that to all of them, the band has a deep meaning of friendship and support. 

Of course, the first topic of conversation was about the band - what inspired the structure of their music videos, how they got their name, and which came first - the ghost music videos or the ghost band! 

“Since my mom died, my brother has really been into ghosts,” Molina explained to me. “It was actually his idea for the band to pop in like that. My dad does videography as his job, so he was able to help us film and edit. My best friend, Flynn Taylor, came up with the band name.”

The boys all laugh when I ask if they liked the name right away or if there were discussions before they went public with it. “Flynn doesn’t do discussions,” Mercer smiles at Julie like there’s an inside joke there. There probably is, seeing how close these four are. “They came up with the name and made us posters, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter before even asking us what we thought.”

“We loved it,” Peters is quick to jump in. “And we love Flynn. She knew we’d like it, or they wouldn’t have gone ahead with everything.”

Flynn Taylor, Julie’s best friend, doubles as the band manager - she is on tour with them, but opted not to be present for the interview. 

Since beginning their tour with Panic! At the Disco, all their videos have amassed over one million views each on YouTube and their music has been released on Spotify with startlingly quick success. Molina, I discovered, is actually the newest member of the band, although I would never have known from watching the four bandmates interact. She is also the youngest by a year, having just had her seventeenth birthday as the boys are all turning eighteen, but she holds herself with a quiet confidence that all the boys seem to look to. Even this early into the interview they defer to her to answer questions and look to her for reactions to their own answers. 

This made it especially surprising to find out that the band existed before Julie joined it, just under a different name. Sunset Curve. Clearly, it did not have the popularity that Julie and the Phantoms has even a few months into their creation. “We played a couple school shows and stuff,” Patterson told me, “but nothing clicked until we met Julie.” Luke Patterson carries a humming energy with him that comes across in his words. In true rocker fashion, he struggles to sit still, tapping his fingers on his thighs and softly bouncing on the couch. 

Unsurprisingly, Molina used similar words to describe the band’s first meeting. “The first time I sang with them at school we just clicked,” she says, smiling at Luke. 

Of course, given their success, I had to ask the question everyone wants to know. How did they end up opening for Panic! At the Disco, despite being relatively unknown outside the Los Angeles music scene previous to their debut at The Orpheum?

“We’ve seen some wild theories,” Mercer confides to me with a small smile on his face. He is arguably the most subdued of the group and generally seems content to watch his bandmates answer my questions. Don’t be fooled, though - not only is he a phenomenal drummer, he also sings backup vocals for Julie and the Phantoms. “My favouirte theory was one that caught a lot of steam on Twitter about us using ‘ghost powers’,” he adds air quotes with his hands and laughs, “to hide the scheduled opener’s tour bus and then pop into the venue in their place at the time they were supposed to perform.”

The whole band laughs at this - clearly it is a favourite theory amongst them. Peters adds, though, that it was clearly an unfounded theory given that “Julie doesn’t have any ghost powers, anyways. That’s why it’s Julie and the Phantoms. But I’d kill for ghost powers in real life.” When I ask what he’d use them for, though, he seems stumped. “I think it would just be cool to walk through walls.” We’re with you on that one, Reggie!

But what actually did happen to get them into the coveted opening spot at The Orpheum? Molina gives me a modest smile when I ask. “We were honestly just in the right place at the right time,” she explains. 

Patterson picks up the story from there with a little bit more flair, telling me that the opening band had actually gotten food poisoning - “from a street dog vendor, believe it or not” - and the manager of the Orpheum happened to be familiar with the Julie and the Phantoms YouTube page. 

“Since we were local,” Peters explains, “It was just a phone call. And then suddenly we were on stage doing a proper professional soundcheck for the first time in our lives.”

“Everything moved so fast after that,” Patterson adds. Each of his bandmates nod in agreement as he speaks. “We blinked and we were on a tour bus, suddenly.”

It seems that the band is handling the change well, though. 

“It’s definitely different,” Molina tells me. “We have to be responsible for our own school and make sure we’re turning in assignments on time. There’s a lot of driving and a lot of time to kill. We can get on each other’s nerves quite a bit, but there’s always a lot of time for songwriting, too.”

When I prompt her about who gets on who’s nerves, the whole band turns in tandem to look at Luke. He laughs and shrugs at me. “I’m an early riser,” he explains. “I like music in my hands twenty-four seven. I always have my guitar, but it isn’t always appreciated.”

“We’ve had to compromise,” Mercer says with a long-suffering sigh. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was the oldest of the group. “Luke isn’t allowed to start playing music until eleven in the morning the day after a show.”

As for being on tour with Panic!, none of them seem all too bothered by the fame of the headliners. “They’re really cool,” Peters explains to me. “They’ve been doing this a long time and they always have advice for us which I think we really value right now.”

Otherwise, though, the band seems to keep to themselves. When asked about their favouirte hobbies, Peters speaks at length about Star Wars. “I can’t watch the prequels before bed,” he says. His bandmates groan and shake their heads, although he seems unbothered. “Jar-Jar gives me nightmares.”

Other than Star Wars, “We try to make sure we get time and space for ourselves every day,” Molina says. “It’s a lot of us in a small space, and if we don’t get away from each other for a bit we argue a lot more.”

When I ask each of them who their favourite bandmate is to live with, all the boys say Julie and then turn expectantly for her answer. “I suppose Flynn doesn’t count as a bandmate,” she said with a sigh. “Probably Alex, but we live together normally so it’s not something that’s new.”

Mercer confirms this piece of information with a nod and a smile. “I prefer sharing a room with your brother to sharing a bus with you, though,” he says to Julie. She just rolls her eyes. 

When pushed, Mercer elaborates a little bit. “I’ve been living with Julie’s family for my senior year. It’s a better environment for me and is much closer to our school than where I lived. My parents are happy that it gives me more time to focus on school.”

Since I have Mercer’s attention now, I ask him a question I’ve been dying to know the answer to. Does he know what a role model he is to gay and questioning children and teens that get to see him be himself so publicly? 

As all the boys have been doing, he looks to Julie before answering. “I don’t think about it much, to be honest,” he says candidly. “If people think I’m a role model then I’m glad, but I’m just me. And being gay is part of me, a part of me that’s always been completely accepted by my band, just like my drumming or my singing.”

There was no tension, the band members explain, upon finding out about Alex’s sexuality. “No one was surprised when Alex came out,” Patterson adds. “We were only, like, twelve when he came out to us, anyway. It’s just a fact about who he is. Like, Alex is gay and hates mornings and I play the guitar and love mornings and we’re best friends.”

“Plus, I’m bisexual,” Peters adds, “So it would be hypocritical to have a problem with Alex.”

“I’m pansexual,” Patterson pipes up again. “And Alex being himself helped me figure out that part of myself.”

Molina doesn’t seem to have much to add. “Alex was already out when I met him,” she says. “It was never a surprise and someone’s sexuality shouldn’t be something that causes tension or makes people upset anyways.”

When I point out that it has seemed to cause some tension among fans, they all sigh. For unaware readers, the band has been stirring up quite the debate on Twitter and Instagram amongst fans and haters alike as to who is dating who. Patterson and Molina confirmed their relationship before going on tour and have been dating since before their band became popular. Recently, a Twitter user attending a Julie and the Phantoms meet and greet noted the closeness between Molina and Peters, causing fans to speculate that Molina is cheating on Patterson with Peters. When I ask if they'd like to address it, however, they all nod. 

“Luke and I have been dating for a few months,” Julie says, “very happily. Neither of us have cheated on each other, nor would we ever. But we’re both also dating Reggie.”

When I ask for clarification, Peters adds, “I’m dating Luke and Julie, just like Julie is dating me and Luke and Luke is dating Julie and me.” Although it doesn’t sound clear, it does seem to be clear for them. 

“We’d like people to give us our privacy, although we know that probably won’t happen,” Molina says. “We’re allowed to define our own relationships in the way that works for us, we don’t have to hold them up to anyone else’s expectations or preconceived notions of what a relationship should look like.”

When I ask if there’s anything they’d like to add before we wrap up, Patterson pipes up with a confident “Yes.” 

“We’re Julie and the Phantoms,” he says, prompting Peters to follow up with “Tell your friends!”

Tell your friends, indeed. You can find Julie and the Phantoms everywhere that Panic! At the Disco is playing for the next four weeks. 

masterpost

read on AO3

taglist under teh cut (ask to be added or removed!!)

@screamin-amuseum​ @angelwiththeblue-box​ @defultuser​ @peter-parkerson​ @willex-molina​ @thedepthsofhell​ @themongosianhorse​ @theamd426​ @k-padfoot39​ @wholitzukoonfire​ @invisibleraven​ @williesskateboard​ @leodolphin​ @moss-on-a-tree15​

[bittywitches]

hi bby! hope you're having a great day! for the prompt list, can I have #2 and #35 for grayson? tysm!!!

You’re the sweetest 🥺 As usual I got carried away, but I hope I did alright 😅 Hope you’re doing well too!

#2: “Stay here tonight.” & #35: “You make me feel safe.”

You woke up in a cold sweat, panting in the darkness of your bedroom. Your chest was pounding, the dark only adding to your tension. You scrambled to turn your table lamp on, sighing finally when you could see the warm colour wash over your room. 

Just another nightmare.

You breathed out, rubbing your face to try and ease your tension. The past few weeks had been rough on you. Ever since your mother grew ill, it was like everything else in your life started to spiral out of control. You had to take a few days off from work to take care of your mom, that taking up most of your days now. You knew she’d probably get by on her own, but you knew her. She wasn’t one to work well alone. Your mother had raised you all on her own, but you hadn’t left her side until just last year, when you’d moved out to live in a small apartment that was a lot closer to your job. Things were okay since your younger sister had been living with her up until a few months ago, when she left the state for school. Now it was just her at home, by herself. And once she got sick, she became even more restless, and you didn’t want to leave her alone. You loved her, but taking care of her everyday was adding a lot to your stress. You were afraid if you took any more days off you might lose your job, but leaving your mom alone at her house scared you to no end. That of course was all it took to fuel your ongoing nightmares. 

You sighed, reaching for your phone, knowing that there was no way you’d be able to fall asleep now after getting spooked like that again.

The light hurt your eyes a bit, but eventually you adjusted to it, seeing that it was 1 in the morning. You opened up instagram and scrolled through the posts, but stopped when you saw what Grayson had posted. It was a picture of you from yesterday when you had crashed at the twins’ place after leaving your mom’s house, since it was closer. You were sitting on the sofa, curled up into a ball while draped in a huge fuzzy blanket. The picture was taken from your side, and you remembered Grayson taking that photo of you in the middle of the movie you were watching. You swiped to see a photo of you now looking directly at the camera, tears in your eyes as you gripped the edge of the blanket close to your face. You blushed at that, embarassed that he’d decided to post it. You swiped one more time to see a photo of TV screen displaying a scene from Love Actually. You looked down to see the caption:

graysondolan I had to hug her until she stopped crying 😅

You smiled at that. He was right, but it’s not like he did it against his will. After the movie finished he brought you both a bowl of ice cream and you guys cuddled under the blanket while you watched The Office reruns to help you cool down. 

You loved the twins, they were some of your closest friends, and you were so grateful to have them, especially during this stressful time right now. They could help you relax, wind down, and wouldn’t let you feel bad for it. You’d found, however, that these past few months, you and Grayson had been growing a lot closer. 

Closer how? That was a good question. You yourself were trying to figure that out. You weren’t going to pretend that you didn’t have a small crush on Grayson, but you knew that right now it didn’t really matter if you did or not. You had so much going on in your life, you wouldn’t be able to get into something like that. Sure, spending all that time with him was always amazing, usually the highlight of your week. And as times got tougher, the nightmares seemed to keep finding you each night, and each time you found yourself soothing yourself back to sleep by thinking of being held in a certain someone’s arms... but that didn’t mean he liked you in the way you did him. You knew not to get your hopes up.

You shook your head, going to turn off your lamp again. You flopped down onto your mattress, closing your eyes to try and force yourself back to sleep.

…

…

…

Y/N!

No, no, come back!

HELP ME!

No, PLEASE-

You shot up, your chest heaving like crazy. 

“God, why-” You turned your lamp on again, rubbing your eyes.

“Guess I’m not sleeping tonight.” You grumbled, getting out of bed and pulling on your fuzzy slippers. You quickly tied up your hair into a loose ponytail, then grabbed your phone as you headed for your living room. 

You plopped yourself down onto your couch. You sighed, turning your phone on again to be introduced with Grayson’s post again. Your eyes drifted down the screen, but widened when you saw something. He’d only posted it about a half hour ago.

That meant he was still awake. 

You sat there for a while, contemplating what to do. You really did want to see him, but could you really do anything about it, considering what time it was?

You bit your lip. Fuck it. You pressed Grayson’s contact, then pressed call. 

You held the phone up to your ear, breathing in slowly as it rang.

“Y/N?” His voice sounded a lot clearer than you expected, so you could tell that he’d been awake.

“Hey.” 

“Are you okay? Why are you up?” You could already hear the concern in his voice.

“Um…”

“Is your mom okay?” 

“Yea, nothing’s wrong, don’t worry.” You smiled still.

“Oh.. okay, good.” He cleared his throat. “Why aren’t you asleep?” he asked again.

“I… couldn’t sleep. Wanted to talk to someone.” You started to get nervous when he didn’t respond right away. “You know what, I probably shouldn't have even called-”

“No, no, it’s okay. I was actually just editing a video right now, anyways.”

“Oh, am I disturbing? I’m sorry-”

“Y/N,” He laughed over the phone. “It’s all good. I was just finishing up anyway.”

You chuckled. “Okay.”

“You okay?” Even though you’d said otherwise, Grayson could tell there wasn’t something going on.

“Yea… just.. Got up to make tea.” you decided, then got off the couch and went to your kitchen in search of tea bags.

“You usually have midnight tea breaks?” He laughed again.

“Haha, no. Just today.” You turned the kettle on, then turned around to lean your back against the cool counter.

“Hey, um.” You cleared your throat. “Are you busy right now?”

“Not really, no. Why?”

“Okay, um, this might sound a bit crazy, but…” You rubbed your shoulder. “Do you wanna maybe come over?”

There was a pause. “...Right now?”

“Y-yea.”

“...Did you drink?”

“W- Grayson!” Your face flushed.

“Okay, so no-”

“You know what nevermind I’m sorry I called-”

“No no stop. M’sorry. I’d love to come over. Don’t you think it’s a bit late though..?”

“Just for a little bit.” You felt like you were begging at this point, but you didn’t care. You wanted to see him. “You don’t have to stay long.”

You bit down on your lower lip. “But you’re right, it’s fine-”

“Y/N, no. I’ll be there in twenty.” 

You smiled. “Okay. Bye.”

“Bye.”

.  .  .

Almost exactly twenty minutes later, you heard the ringing of the doorbell. You gently placed your hot cup of tea down on the coffee table, and scurried towards the door.

“I’m coming!” You said, reaching the doorknob and turning it.

You opened the door to find Grayson standing there, his long hair set free from his usual bandana, wearing a loose black tshirt and a pair of grey sweatpants. He had a big grin on his face.

You smiled. “Hi-” But then your eyes drifted down to see him holding a cute little teddy bear and a take-out ihop bag; your comfort food.

“Grayson..” You brought your hands up to cover your mouth, suddenly finding tears spilling over your face, and you didn’t even know why. You’d been trying to keep your emotions at bay for so long that this one kind gesture was enough to tip you over the edge.

“Hey hey hey, hold on,” He placed the bag on the floor and reached for you, wrapping his arms around you. You buried your head into his neck as he rubbed your back.

“Y/N.”

“Mhm?” You sniffled, fiddling with his chain.

“Are you okay?” he asked one final time.

You breathed out. “No.”

He sighed. “I had a hunch.” He gently took your shoulders and pushed you away from him. “Wanna go eat this stuff?”

“Maybe later…” You said, wiping your eyes and bending down to take the bag. “I’ll put it in the fridge.”

You hugged him again, pressing your cheek against his chest. “Thank you.”

“Nothing to thank me for.” You smiled at him. He slipped his shoes off, then walked past you into your living room, and you closed the door behind him. 

“Oh, I made you tea.” You pointed at the second cup on the coffee table. 

“Thanks.”

You nodded, going over to the fridge to put the food away. You made you way over to Grayson and sat down next to him on the sofa. You watched him for a bit as he drank his tea.

Finally he set his cup down. “Okay, what’s going on? Is everything seriously okay with your mom?”

“Yes, she’s fine. At least, not worse than normal.”

“Then what’s going on? Why’d you call me?” He placed his hand on your leg, gently rubbing his thumb over your knee.

“I…” You coughed. “I’ve been having nightmares.” 

He tilted his head at you, a concerned look on his face. “Is it because of your mom?”

“I-I think it’s part of it.” You looked away, embarrassed. “I know it’s stupid-”

“Y/N it’s not stupid. It makes sense. You’ve got a lot on your plate right now.”

You looked up at him. “Yea?”

“Yea.” He paused. “Is that why you called? Because your nightmares wouldn’t let you sleep?”

You nodded, and you could see the actual pain in his face when you did that.

“Y/N…” He wrapped his arms around you again, and this time you let yourself comfortably nestle into his side. He kissed your forehead as he rubbed your shoulder.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but… are the nightmares actually about your mom?”

“That’s the thing, I don’t even know.” He brushed a hair out of your face as you spoke. “Every time it’s always me losing somebody; sometimes it’s my mom, or my sister, or a friend, sometimes it’s just a weird looming entity that doesn’t have a face but.. It still hurts. Still scares me.” You looked up at him, but found that his eyes were already on you.

“Sometimes…” You continued, fiddling with the edge of his t-shirt. “Sometimes it’s you.”

His eyes widened when you said that. “Oh.” He sat there for a moment, thinking about what you’d told him. He turned to face you directly, you now lying on his left arm while his other one came up to wrap around your waist. “Well at least I can relieve you of one worry.” He bent down to kiss your forehead again. “You’ll never lose me.”

You smiled, leaning back into him so you could nestle into his chest and neck, and he rested his head above yours. You both stayed like that for a while, not speaking, but just enjoying the closeness of one another.

“Hey, Y/N?” Grayson finally said, kissing the top of your head to see if you were still awake.

“Mmm?” You mumbled.

“Why’d you call me?”

You looked up at him, brows furrowed. “Hm?”

“I mean- I know why you called me. But why did you call me? Why not someone else?”

“Because…” You faltered.

“Not that I’m not happy you did.” He smiled. “I am. I just.. Dunno. Wouldn’t you call one of your girlfriends for something like this?”

“I guess…” You sighed. “But I wanted to see you.” His eyes seemed to twinkle when you said that. “You… You make me feel safe.”

“I do?”

“Yea. Like, no matter how fucked up everything else in the world is right now, you make me feel like it’s gonna be okay. That I’m gonna be okay.”

He grinned so wide at that, and it made you blush. “That was really cheesy, wasn’t it?”

“No. It was great.” He brought his arm up from your waist to gently caress your cheek with his knuckle. “That means so much to me. Thank you.”

You didn’t know what to think. Here he was, just him and you, snuggled up together at who knows when in the morning. It was perfect. 

But of course, it wasn’t.

You thought about just how bad this situation was. You were falling for this boy, who you didn’t even know if he shared the same feelings as you did. You’d called him in the middle of the night to come over, and for what? You couldn’t get into anything right now. That would be too hard with everything going on. 

But somehow not letting him know was even harder.

You laughed, rubbing your eyes gently.

“What is it?” Grayson asked.

“Oh, I just-” You looked at him again, his hazel eyes connecting with yours sending that wonderful feeling through your body. “It’s nothing.”

“C’mon, tell me.”

You sighed, a smile on your face. “No, it’s just- I shouldn’t have called you.”

His brows creased. “Hey, I told you that I wasn’t busy-”

“No, no it’s not that.” He raised his eyebrows at you questioningly.

“I just- okay. I probably shouldn’t be telling you this either but…” You laughed. “I’m so gonna regret saying this in the morning.” You breathed out. “I kind of have a crush on you.”

His eyes widened, and you could see colour spreading to his cheeks. “...Oh?”

“Um, yea. And getting you to come over probably wasn’t the best idea considering that- well it’s not like anything was going to happen because you don’t even like me in that way but if it were to it just-” You sighed. “It wouldn’t work right now. And I kinda just screwed myself over by getting you to come despite all of that since…” You shrugged. “Well, since I really like you.”

He stared at you blankly, and his mouth had slightly fallen agape about three sentences ago.

“Y/N…”

“You don’t have to say anything though, okay? It’s fine. I just wanted to tell you. Didn’t wanna have another thing just swirling around in my brain late at night.” You groaned. “I’m sorry, I don’t even know what I’m saying at this point-”

“Y/N, relax.” He chuckled.

You brushed a hair out of your face. “Basically my point is, I probably shouldn’t have called. Getting over you has been hard enough right now and… this definitely isn’t helping that.”

“Then don’t get over me.”

“...What?” 

“Don’t get over me.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve had feelings for you for a while too.”

Your hands came up to cover your mouth again, shock clearly displayed on your face. “You’re kidding.”

“Dead serious.” He laughed again, brushing his long hair out of his face as he leaned back on the couch. 

“Grayson… why didn’t you tell me?”

“I dunno.” He shrugged. “I was just so sure you didn’t feel the same way that I didn’t see a point in telling you.”

You stared at him, your hands falling into your lap. “Are you serious?” You groaned, your head falling back onto the couch. “God, if you’d just told me sooner…”

“But why sooner?” He got up now, looking at you. 

“What?”

“Isn’t this good? That we both know now?” He leaned in closer to your, his hand coming up to cup your cheek. 

“Grayson…” You started, but the look in his eyes cut you off.

“I know you said that you wouldn’t be ready for anything but- We don’t need to do anything too serious yet.” 

“I don’t know…�� You bit your lip.

“Just, let me take you out for dinner tomorrow.” 

“Gray!”

“That’s all I’m asking.”

He leaned in more, his nose now brushing yours. How badly you wanted to just close the distance between you both but…

You pulled away. “Gray, I can’t. I’m sorry.”

His hand fell away, his face falling as well. “Right. Sorry.” 

You coughed. “You know, it’s late. You should probably…”

He sighed. “Yea, okay.” He got up. “I’ll see you later?”

“Yea.”

He nodded at you, but the look in his eyes hurt you in a way that you’d never felt before. He walked around the couch, making his way for the door. You watched his back as he reached for your doorknob…

“Gray, wait.”

His head whipped around to look at you. “What?”

“Stay here tonight.”

“God I was hoping you’d say that.” He walked backed over to you in two long strides, grabbing you as he kissed you intensely, almost knocking you backwards but his hands steadied you by gripping your back and waist. He pressed his lips firmly into yours, and you gripped his shoulder’s tightly from your head spinning.

“Ooh, Hold on,” You pulled away from him for a second. “Head rush.” You giggled.

He grinned, pecking your lips and then pressing his forehead to yours. Then his eyes suddenly turned serious. 

“You sure this is okay?”

“Yea.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him one more time. “We’re gonna be okay.”

[kiwi-stan]

Crave

Description: AU Harry’s a struggling songwriter until a song about being in lofe with his best friend puts him on the map. My contribution to the pick your poison challenge that @oh-honey-styles​ @for-fucks-sake-h​ and @andwhenshesays​ organized. I haven’t written in so long but this has been a fun way to get back into it now that I have more downtime!

Warnings: None aside from me taking liberties with the process of how writing a song actually works 

Harry’s family had thought he was insane for dropping out of university and moving to LA to try songwriting professionally. And a few years in, he was starting to think that they were right. He hadn’t expected to start working with big names right away, but after two years, he had been hoping to move beyond indie artists who had about a thousand monthly listeners on Spotify. Songwriting was his dream. He loved music, loved creating it, but didn’t want the fame. The inability to step outside without being recognized, the scrutiny, the media attention. He wanted to stay behind the scenes. But he was beginning to think about packing it up, moving back home, and finishing his college degree and getting some boring office job. Until you called and announced that you had found a job in LA after graduating and would be moving. 

You’d been Harry’s best friend since you were both small, when some little boy knocked you off the monkey bars at the park and Harry’s protective instincts-already sharp even back then-had rushed over to check if you were okay. There had been a few awkward years in middle school, when he’d been teased by friends for having a girl friend who wasn’t a girlfriend, but that had resolved itself during a very awkward party where you’d played seven minutes together and had mutually agreed that kissing each other was too weird. Aside from that, your friendship had been solid all throughout school, and had even weathered Harry moving to LA. In fact, you were one of the few people from his hometown that he’d kept in contact with. His parents had cut off contact (and financial support) when he’d dropped out of school without warning, and his emails with his sister were infrequent as she was trying to keep up a positive relationship with their parents. He didn’t really have any LA friends either, a few casual acquaintances but no one who he felt like he could really talk to. 

On the day that you arrived, Harry drove to the airport to pick you up. By the time he navigated traffic and dealt with the nightmare of parking at LAX, it was nearly an hour after your flight had landed and half an hour after you’d sent a text saying that you’d claimed your bags. As he entered the terminal, he was worried that you would be angry about him being late. You never were the type to get annoyed about little things like that and from your video chats you didn’t seem to have changed all that much, but two years was a long time and it could bring about a lot of change in a person. He glanced around the room, full of happy reunions and stressed out men in suits setting out on business trips, when he finally spotted you, nestled in a corner and perched on your suitcase. It was like something out of a movie, how you looked up from your phone just as he spotted you, the two of you locked eyes, and you sprang to your feet and ran toward him, throwing your arms around him in an enthusiastic hug and squealing “Harry”. 

“Sorry I’m late.” There were so many things he wanted to say to you, how much he missed you, how happy he was that you were moving, stories he hadn’t wanted to tell over FaceTime. But for some reason, an apology was the first thing that popped out of his mouth. “Traffic was horrible then I had to park…” 

You pulled away from him to wave a hand, dismissing his apology and Harry got his first real look at you. He’d noticed from your Facetime chats that you’d changed your hair to a shorter style and that you’d started wearing more makeup, both choices that were probably seen as “more professional”. Otherwise, you looked about the same, but seeing you in person he noticed that there was a difference in the way you carried yourself. You seemed older, more mature, with the kind of confidence that he assumed came from graduating college and moving across the country on your own. He wondered if he had the same aura around him. “I missed you.” You said, picking up your suitcase and dragging Harry away from his thoughts. “And I cannot thank you enough for letting me stay with you.” You’d explained over FaceTime that the job you’d been offered had wanted you to start right away, not even considering that you would need time to deal with the logistics of moving or finding a place to live. Lucky for you, Harry had stepped in. 

“I missed you too,” Harry took your suitcase from you, dragging it behind him and tugging it toward the exit. “And don’t say that until you see my place.” 

******* 

You’d been worried that things with Harry would have changed in the two years that he’d been gone. But as he took the long drive back to his apartment, you slipped right back into your old friendship, joking and swapping stories. You updated him about what all of your old high school friends were up to and he told you stories about all the weird LA types that he’d met. You’d never admit this, but you’d been worried that he might have turned into one of them since he left, burning sage and displaying an unhealthy obsession posting to Instagram. He seemed like his old self in texts and on your video chats, but you had thought he might be hiding that part of him. You were relieved to see that Harry was still his old self. However, a new set of worries about Harry sprouted as he turned into his neighborhood. 

Harry had alluded to money troubles while you’d been apart, so you had known that he wasn’t living in Beverly Hills. However, you also weren’t really expecting dark streets, abandoned buildings, and liquor stores with bars over the windows. Harry parked outside a seedy looking building and led you up to his apartment, which was the size of a shoebox and overwhelmed with cardboard boxes full of your things. He’d been nice enough to tell you to ship some of your things to his address, though he hadn’t mentioned how tiny his apartment was. By the time Harry had cleared everything off the futon so you could sleep, you’d seen three roaches scurry across the floor and you’d made your mind up. 

“Once I find a place you’re moving in with me.” Harry opened his mouth to protest, but you held firm. “Don’t argue. Why didn’t you tell me you were living in a shithole?” You glanced around the small space and another problem occurred to you. “Where exactly are you planning to sleep?” 

“The floor I guess,” He said, gesturing to the sliver of space near the lone window that wasn’t occupied by furniture or boxes. 

You shook your head, thinking back to the roaches you’d seen and the shag carpet that probably hadn’t been cleaned since the 70s. “No way. You’re sleeping with me. It’s not like we haven’t done it before.” It might feel a little strange after your time apart, but back before he dropped out Harry had slept in your tiny twin bed in your dorm room tons of times, sometimes because he’d had a fight with his roommate, sometimes because he was drunk and your room was closer, and sometimes just because he was lonely. You couldn’t even count the number of times you and Harry had slept together platonically. However, a few hours later, when you finally nestled under the covers together-with Harry’s body pressed up against yours, he was big on cuddling (and the small bed didn’t leave you much room to spread out anyway)-you found yourself wondering why something felt different. 

***********

Harry started writing a song that night, about being in love with your best friend. He didn’t have the whole thing right away, which wasn’t usually how he wrote. Usually inspiration came fast, and he could write a whole song in the burst of manic energy he got when it struck. The chorus came that first night when you slept together, about you pressed up against him in a city full of dark alleys. 

The rest came to him slowly over the next few months, as you started your job and found a slightly better apartment to live in. With your entry level salary it wasn’t anything fancy, but it was in an area that made you feel safer and had two bedrooms, though Harry found that he slept worse without you near him and spent many nights tossing and turning before finally falling into a fitful sleep around 3 AM. 

Though you’d been basically joined at the hip since you were young, you and Harry hadn’t shared space like this before. The apartment was still small, which meant that you and Harry were still constantly tripping over each other. Harry had thought it might be annoying, and had even worried that it would fracture your friendship, but it hadn’t. Living together seemed almost natural for the two of you. It meant that he could hear you singing when you came home from work, which meant that you had a good day and would be in the mood to cook something elaborate for dinner, or when you slammed the front door and he knew that you’d had a bad day and that he should order your favorite take out. He found your bobby pins all over the bathroom floor, he sat and watched The Bachelor with you on Monday nights, and he stole your fuzzy socks as the nights started getting cooler. Harry worked on his song while you were at work when he wasn’t at writing sessions for other people, and by the time he finished he felt that it was the best thing he’d ever written. 

Harry knew exactly why the song (currently cryptically titled with an anagram of your name) was the best of anything he’d written so far. Typically he used a lot of creative license when he wrote, writing about things that happened to him long ago, about things that happened to friends of his, about completely made up scenarios, or anything that inspired him really. But he never really wrote about his own life. This was the first time, and it was his first song to really come from the heart. 

After finally perfecting the song, Harry recorded a quick demo on his phone, then sent it off to Jeff, a big-name record producer he’d met a few months back. They’d met during a recording session for some pink-haired indie singer. Though Jeff hadn’t really liked the indie girl and her bananies-and-avacadies voice as he’d joked to Harry, he’d liked Harry’s writing style a lot. He’d slipped Harry his phone number and had told him to send along some of his strongest work. Harry had come close to sending a few things before, but had chickened out at the last minute. Nothing he’d done before was his strongest work, and he knew that. The song about you, he felt good enough to send. 

Harry finally worked up the courage to press the send button during one of his sleepless nights. He hoped that Jeff hadn’t deleted his number, or if he had that he would be willing to listen to a voice message from a random stranger. Since it was nearly 1 am, he was surprised to get a message back almost immediately. Love it Harry. Let’s talk.  Followed by a meeting time and location. 

******* 

A few weeks later, you arrived home (you had been surprised at how quickly you came to think of your new apartment in a new city as “home”, but you came to the conclusion that it was all because Harry was there) to Harry humming a song you didn’t recognize as he cleaned the apartment. He looked up when he saw you, dropping the broom and drawing you into a hug. “Hey!” He swayed you back and forth a few times as he held you. You had forgotten that little tic of his, but the motion reminded you of how much you loved it. It always made you feel safe and comforted, probably because it replicated the motion of a mother rocking a baby. And it was something Harry only did when he was really happy. 

“What happened?” You asked once he let you go. Harry hadn’t seemed sad exactly, but you’d had the feeling that being isolated from his family and under almost constant money and career stress were starting to get to him. You hadn’t seen him happy like this since you were in college together and he aced a difficult Music Theory final. 

“I think we should go out tonight. Somewhere nice-ish.” 

This piqued your interest even more. Even combining your incomes, you still weren’t really on a going-out-regularly-in-LA budget. Something had happened. Something big. “Harry, tell me what’s going on.” 

“I wrote a song a few weeks ago and The Heartbreakers want it.” 

Your jaw dropped at the mention of the group who had shot to fame almost overnight a few years ago after one of their songs went viral on SoundCloud. Unlike some other indie groups that had scored mainstream hits and had faded to irrelevancy after a few weeks, The Heartbreakers had hired a good management team and were able to capitalize on the hit to become one of the biggest groups on the planet. “Harry, that’s amazing!” You threw your arms around him again. “But how? What? I didn’t even think you knew them? And I thought they wrote all their own stuff?” 

Harry pulled back enough to look at you and gave a little laugh at all of your questions. His hands stayed around your waist, your arms around his neck. “That’s what they say. They use ghostwriters basically. I had to sign an NDA and got an advance that’s basically hush money.” You frowned, not really liking the thought that Harry wasn’t going to get any credit for his work. “Hey no, that’s just how it works sometimes,” He added, noticing your facial expression. “The music industry isn’t pretty. I knew that going in and I kind of expected it. Producers and other writers have their own kind of underworld. The important people will know that I wrote it. This will lead to more big stuff for me. I know. I wouldn’t have given the song away if I didn’t.” 

Noticing that you still didn’t look happy, Harry was quick to change the subject. “As for how, I don’t know them. At all. It all went through this producer, Jeff, that I met a few months back. He wanted to hear some of my stuff, but nothing ever seemed good enough until I wrote this song. I sent it to him, he loved it and thought it would work with their sound. He took it to them and they wanted it. I’ve never even met them.” 

“Will you get to?” You said, thinking that you would at least want to shake someone’s hand before handing off a piece of art that you created to them and letting them act like it was theirs. 

Harry nodded. “I have to go in for a writing session and be there while they record in case they want to make any tweaks. Which they probably will. Change a word, get a third and all that.” Your frown returned at the mention of the unfair way that royalties were distributed. Harry noticed. “But this will still be really big for me. It’s the right move. I know.” 

You studied him for a moment, looking for any sign of hesitation. “I trust you.” Realizing that you’d been holding each other for an awkward amount of time, and that it felt surprisingly good to have your best friend holding you, his big hands solid at your waist and your fingers toying with the curls at the back of his neck, you stepped away. “I’d love to hear it. Do you have a recording yet?” Harry looked alarmed. “What? Has the NDA got you scared?” You teased. Harry could be shy about sharing his work, but he’d always been open about it with you. He called you his guinea pig, you were often the first one to hear new songs. 

“I just wrote it a few weeks ago. I got really inspired seeing you again, I guess.” Harry said, suddenly seeming shy. 

“Harry that’s so sweet.” You asked, unable to keep the emotion out of your voice. No one had ever written or created anything for you before, and as far as you knew you hadn’t inspired anything either (aside from some crude messages in the boy’s locker room back in high school that Harry had taken a Sharpie to almost immediately after they popped up). 

“But I can’t play it for you. I don’t own it anymore. I already signed it over.” 

“Harry, we’re alone in our apartment. No one’s gonna know.” 

“I know, I know.” Harry picked up his broom and went back to his sweeping, obviously nervous. “It’s a little unpolished though.” 

“That never stopped you before.” Harry had played you things that were completely unfinished before, sometimes even when he just had a few chords together or two lines of lyrics. 

“I really think the Heartbreakers will do it better than me. I think the first time you hear it, it should be their version.” 

“At least tell me what it’s called.” 

“It doesn’t have a name,” Harry said a little too fast. “Or at least right now. When it actually gets released they’ll find something marketable, I’m sure. Do you want to go to a club tonight, or just dinner?” 

You accepted Harry’s abrupt change of subject and decided not to push it, but you spent the entire evening (both dinner and a club, Harry wanted to splurge since he knew his so-called hush money would be kicking in soon) wondering why Harry didn’t want you to hear the song. 

*********

“So,” Jeff began as the final recording session for the song, which had been renamed “Crave” wrapped up. The Heartbreakers had left for the day, and Harry and Jeff had hung back to do some final mixing. Harry didn’t really need to be there either, but Jeff wanted his approval on the final version of the song and he seemed happy for the company. “You never told me who this song is about.” 

“Who says it's about anyone?” Harry asked, trying not to sound harsh. Despite the fact that they’d been working closely together on Crave, they weren’t good enough friends where they could be quite so honest with each other. 

“Every song is about someone. Especially ones this heartfelt.” Jeff let the song play once through. The Heartbreakers had changed very little lyrically, adding a lyric to the chorus about craving the person the song was addressed to (which was where they’d drawn the title from). They’d changed a bit more when it came to the music itself, switching from the indie playing-in-a-coffeshop vibe that Harry had intended, to a rockier sound. Harry thought it sounded much better that way, it was something that he wouldn’t have tried with such a sweet song, and he knew that he’d made the right decision in signing the song away. As the final songs of the song drifted away, Jeff turned to Harry again. “So I’m guessing it’s a lady friend of yours from back in school and who you once played seven minutes in heaven with,” Jeff began, referencing the first verse of the song where Harry had written about first meeting you when you were kids. “Who you now find yourself in love with because she sings like a lark when she’s happy, leaves bobby pins all over the place, and makes you chocolate milkshakes when you’re sad.” 

Harry felt his cheeks heat up as Jeff named more details from elsewhere in the song, all things that pointed directly to your friendship with him. “My best friend from back in school. She just moved out here and we’ve been living together and...I don’t even really know what it is, if it was the time apart or if it’s different now that we’re older or because we’re living together. But yeah, I love her.” It was the first time Harry had said it out loud and it felt like a weight off his shoulders. 

“Have you told her yet?”

Harry shook his head. “I’m worried about ruining the friendship.” 

“Do you think she feels the same way?” 

Harry considered it, how you had let him hold you for far too long the night he first told you about selling the song, how you always made spinach for him as a side when you cooked even though you hated it, how much your hands brushed when he took you on tours of his favorite places in LA, if those were all just friendly gestures or if it meant something more. “Maybe? But she’s probably thinking the same thing about ruining the friendship.” Harry knew you well enough to know that you were a little too pragmatic sometimes when it came to relationships. 

“You should tell her.” Jeff regarded Harry with a serious look. “The second she hears the song she’s going to figure it out. The Heartbreaker’s last single was number one on the Billboard chart for six weeks and played on KIIS once an hour every day for a month after its release. You don’t want her finding out that her best friend is in love with her when she hears the song in Trader Joe’s. It’ll mean way more coming directly from you.” 

******* 

“Does this look okay? What do you even wear to a listening party anyway?” You asked, stepping in front of Harry and twirling around, letting him examine your dress. 

Harry gave you a quick once over. “What you’ve got on is fine. You look great.” 

The simple compliment sent a little rush of excitement through you, the saw way you felt when previous boyfriends had complimented you before you set out on a date. With you in your dress and Harry also dressed up, the two of you looked a bit like you were setting out on a proper date, but you stopped yourself from going down that line of thinking. There was no way to know if he felt the same way. You studied Harry instead, drinking in his slicked back hair, black shirt with the little white hearts on it, and black pants. Realizing that you were staring, you changed the subject. 

“You’re sure it’s okay if I come?” A listening party seemed like something so secret, something that only music industry people got to attend, like the parties the cool kids threw in high school. But Harry had seemed excited when he invited you along, even though he’d had to present you with an NDA at the same time and had told you not to bring your phone or it would be confiscated at the door. The listening party was for people from the label and was being held a few weeks before the official release of the single, and preventing leaks was essential, Harry had explained. 

Harry nodded. “Yeah. It’s gonna be real small. Just the band, some people from the label, me, and Jeff. All people who are already aware that they don’t write their own music.” Harry looked like there was something more he wanted to say, but instead he just pulled on his sport coat. “Ready?” 

Harry was quiet for the drive to the private club where the party was being held, letting one of his Spotify playlists play as he navigated LA’s busy streets. He didn’t speak until he found parking at the club. You reached for the door to exit the car, but froze when Harry said, “Wait.” You waited. Harry took a deep breath before speaking. “I just want you to know that the song is about you. I just want you to hear it, knowing that, and tell me what you think after.” 

You wanted to press for more information. That was incredibly vague, and if anything it just left you with more questions. But Harry was nervous enough, you could tell from the way he’d adjusted his hair several times during the drive and the fact that he was avoiding eye contact with you now. Not wanting to stress him out anymore, you decided not to push it. You leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, ignoring how natural it felt. Maybe it was just the dim lighting from the streets lights, but you could have sworn that Harry was blushing. “I’m sure I’ll love it. I mean, writing a song about me is already nicer than anything any of my ex-boyfriend have done.” You realized a few seconds too late that maybe comparing your best friend to your exes wasn’t the best move. “And everything else you’ve written has taken my breath away. I’m sure this won’t be any different.” You added, trying to cover the awkward moment. 

Harry turned to you, looking happier and more confident now. “Let’s go.” He walked around to your side of the car and opened the door for you, even taking your hand to help you out of the car. Because no LA party could really start without time for networking first, you spent the first part of the party following Harry around like a baby duckling as he made his rounds to talk to the band and the industry executives. You’d been a little worried that you would feel like a fish out of water, or worse that Harry would leave you by the bar and make the rounds on his own. Harry had never been the type to social climb, but you were fully aware of the fact that this was his biggest career opportunity yet, so you weren’t sure how he would react. But you were worried for nothing, because Harry kept you by his side the entire night, introduced you to everyone by name, and tried hard to include you in the conversation, even though you were so starstruck most of the night that you ended up feeling tongue tied. 

As someone from the label raised his voice to announce that they would be playing the song soon, Harry pulled you to a table and introduced you to Jeff. 

“Ah, the famous muse,” Jeff shook your hand before giving Harry a knowing look. “Harry’s told you about the song?” 

“Just that it’s about me. I haven’t heard it yet.” 

“You’re in for a treat.” He told you with a smile, shooting Harry another look. Before you had time to further ponder what was going on, a label executive's voice at the front of the room drew your attention as he introduced “Crave”. 

As the song played, you were blown away. Harry had written a beautiful song, and though you’d initially been worried about him giving the song away you had to admit that The Heartbreakers had done it justice. But what surprised you the most was that it was a love song, and every single word of the song pointed to you, to things you had Harry had done together or to your little idiosyncrasies. Harry loved you, and had for a while. 

As the final notes of the song faded away, Harry grabbed your hand and pulled you outside the club, clearly wanting whatever happened next to be just between the two of you. You stood bathed beneath a streetlight, with drunks exiting nearby clubs stumbling past you. “So, what’d you think?” Harry asked, smiling shyly at you. 

“Harry, I loved it. I love you.” You said, throwing your arms around him. Saying it felt so right, so natural, even though it was the first time you’d said those words to Harry. 

Harry slid his arms around you and pulled you closer to him. “I love you.” He said quietly, before he pressed his lips to yours for a kiss that had been a long time coming. 

[awhiskeyriver]

Hi friend!! Hope you are safe, and hope you get some insp to write again❤️ Maybe the scene right after their first kiss? Love you❤️

An anon also requested the scene post-finding out about the bet and losing the football game and so these two sort of coincide together. Hopefully this fits your request friend! Love you too!<3

+++

The locker room lacked the natural cheer and comradery it usually held on game day. Win or lose, we were a pretty solid team and typically good sports, but it felt different this time.

   Our winning streak of the season was officially over. To make it worse, we’d lost on our own turf.

   “We’re still doing better than last season.” Finnick tried to keep spirits up, but among us there was the overall stench of defeat.

   I stripped off my jersey and threw it into the hamper, eager to shower and change so I could go back to the apartment. The weight of the loss was resting on my shoulders. I knew I was at the heart of the problem that translated onto the field today.

   All anyone could talk about this morning was the party last night. Specifically, the video that was being shared all over Instagram from it, starring Katniss Everdeen and I.

   After her friend walked in on Katniss and I...and everything happened...I left the party with the excuse to the guys that I wasn’t feeling well. It wasn’t a lie, I felt like I was moments away from puking. They let me go without protest, not wanting to be responsible for me being sick at the game, and I’d driven home, turned my phone off and gone straight to bed.

   It wasn’t uncommon for me to leave my phone off on game days. It was easier to keep focused, tune out the needless distraction of text messages and social media, so I hadn’t found out about the video until some of my teammates showed me in the locker room.

   Thirty minutes before kick off.

   The horrible timing had a rippled effect, causing me to play my worst game of the season and give people even more reasons to talk.

   “Mellark.”

   Coach’s dominating voice vibrated off the walls, making his presence known before he was visible. I cringed inwardly, muscles tight. Hearing your name called fresh after a lose was never good.

   I ran a hand over my sweaty scalp as he came into view.

   “Yes, Coach?”

   “My office in ten.”

    My stomach knotted. Really not good. 

    If coach saw skepticism in my eyes, he ignored it. Everyone waited until he’d left the locker room to resume talking. I tossed my helmet into its shelf, right above the slot where my last name was scripted in gold-plated font.

    Finnick, who’s bench was beside mine wrapped a towel around his waist before turning towards me.

    “What’s that about?”

    “No idea.”

    “You don’t think it’s…” he trailed off, but the unspoken words clung to the air. I met his concerned frown with one of my own, hoping, praying Coach wasn’t calling me up to his office to discuss that.

    “It’s probably just about the sack I didn’t block,” I muttered, just in time for Cato to chime in.

    “Which one?”

    I ignored him, debating if it was worth it to just go up and talk to coach now and shower back at the apartment alone. Quickly, I ruled the idea out. Couldn’t go up to his office smelling.

    “Maybe he’s calling you up to discuss the fact that this is a men’s football team and you, apparently, have a pussy.”

     He went to smack my crotch but I grabbed his hand, shoving him away before he had the opportunity.

    “That would explain why you can’t seem to keep your hands off of him,” Finnick retorted cooly, earning a disgusted grunt from Cato.

    “Dude, not cool.”

    Finnick shrugged.

    “I’m just saying maybe if he had a set of balls, hot girls would actually want to fuck him instead of just pretending to for money.”

    I could feel Finnick gearing up for a retort, but held a hand out to stop him. Last thing I needed was someone else fighting my battles for me. What would that prove other than the fact that Cato was right? But, there was no point in getting into it with someone like him. He was trying to get a rise out of me so he could laugh and make more jokes when I reacted. Like, tell me to get my estrogen levels checked or ask if I was PMSing. Idiot.

    I showered quickly and changed into street clothes before heading up to coach’s office. Nerves twisted my stomach as I approached his ajar door and gave it a quick knock.

    “Come in.”

    His face was buried into his computer, typing furiously with half-squinted eyes that focused hard on his task. His desk was littered with football knick-knacks and sticky notes. Behind him were plaques in numerical order for awards the team had won over the years and he had a cabinet off to the side of the office that hosted an array of trophies.

    I pulled a chair out from the other side of his desk and sat down, waiting. After hours of being on the field, it felt nice to sit for a moment.

    He finished whatever he was typing and took a deep breath before pulling his glasses off his face.

    “You know why you’re here, kid?”

    I wracked my brain, mulling over all the possible reasons. I decided to test the waters by trying out the easiest.

    “Because I missed the tackle in the third quarter? I think I figured out my mistake. If I just--”

    “I didn’t call you up here to talk football, Mellark.”

     My frown deepened.

    “Oh?”

    Coach sighed, folding his hands together. “Were you at a party last night?”

    Shit. Shit. Immediately I knew where this was going and it was no place I wanted to be. Already, I could feel my skin flushing with embarrassment...made worse by the fact that the guys had basically guessed this conversation down in the locker room.

    If it were possible to dissolve into the floor, now would be a great time to do it.

    I nodded, not trusting myself to speak, and ran my sweaty hands down the length of my pants.

    Coach seemed just as awkward as I felt. He scrubbed a hand over his bristled jaw line as we regarded each other silently.

    “The party,” he finally continued. “Anything happen? Any sort of...altercations?”

    I suppressed a groan, wishing he would just come out and say it so I didn’t have to.

    “Not really.”

    “Not really?” he parroted, looking skeptical. I shifted in my seat, uncomfortable. “You’re sticking with that answer? Because I’ve heard otherwise. In fact, lots of people around campus have.”

    I swallowed. There was no way to deny it.

     “You...wanna talk about it?”

    It being the video, undoubtedly.

    It was far from the first time I’d been made fun of. Middle school had basically been hell; I stood several inches above everyone else and was twice as wide, which made for a host of comments and jokes at my expense. High school had been a little better, by then I was playing football and was able to deflect most of the jokes being made at me to those being made with me. 

    But College had been the best change of pace. Away from all the people I’d grown up with and knew too well in Virginia. I supposed it had been too much to wish the fluidity of my past two years could last.

    “Not especially,” I sighed, in answer to Coach’s question.

    “Okay.” He cleared his throat. “Just so you know, that kind of behavior isn’t permitted on campus, and technically that party was on campus. If you were wanting to press charges--”

    Charges? This was getting out of control.

    “What? No,” I said quickly with a wave of my hand. “I don’t want to do anything. I just...want this to not be happening.”

    It was like a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from.

    Coach nodded in agreement.

    “Well...if you change your mind or need to talk about it all--”

     “I don’t.”

    “Right. But if you do...”

    I nodded, staring down at my lap, waiting with growing impatience for him to dismiss me.

    “That’s all, then.”

    I stood up in an instant and gathered my bag, heading for the door.

    “Mellark,” he called, bringing me up short. I paused, but didn’t turn to look. “Don’t get stupid and start eating salads and shit. Can’t have you dropping weight in the middle of the season.”

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Czech Republic brings their language back to Rotterdam 2021

Reviews coming in a little too into rehearsal period? Honestly don’t care, I’m happy I have caught on with quite the speed right now (only to lose it soon after I guess), because the last two actually came out on two days in a row, hah! Up next is Czech Republic to be talked about, let’s go.

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

Joining the trend of Czech-Men-Surprisingly-Looking-Like-How-They-Are-In-Their-30s, here comes one Ben da Silva Cristóvão (aka Ben Cristovao, aka Benny Cristo), and his Angolan father explains why is his original surname so funkily Portuguese. Mans went to the finals of the Czechoslovakian version of Pop Idol in the same year Czech Republic finished with 0 in the semifinal and ended their Eurovision career for a brief moment in time (thanks for the fact linkage, Euromovidas). Since then he has quite significantly exploded in their music scene, releasing material after material, performing as a supporting act to Mr. Worldwide himself, and doing all kinds of concerts back in the day. Most of his material is in Czech, so like for TIX, Eurovision is an opportunity for him to present himself better in English, somehow.

As his Eurovision entry, “Omaga”, is MOSTLY in English. Until the miracle strikes and you hear two lines in Czech - that is right, Czech Republic having lines in Czech on their entry is a miracle in the regard that we last heard Czech Republic sing in Czech on their very debut in 2007, when the entire song was in that language. It did not give them fruitful results, but that’s not language’s fault. Now say what you will about 2021 having had that potential to kill languages that we have heard in 2020 (Slovenian, Amharic...), but 2021 is quite the greater kind of thing in that regard that we have, because of Czech Republic and the entry I’ll write a writeup for next, Denmark. "Omaga” is a clubby-ish pop song with guitar influences, something that Benny himself has never really done before stylistically, because from his repertoir, he does kinda have something somewhat laidback and toned down more than those upbeat energetic kinda stuffs, but if that is not usually his style, then he has got to be a master of many styles, lol. Lyrics are about a man wanting to woo some girl who is tired of his stupid things but she really makes him happy and he is stunned by her beauty so much he can’t help but go “omaga” “oh my God” at her constantly. Benny did that one thing about “Kemama” to “Omaga”, which is simplifying an otherwise already easy-ish phrase into a somewhat made up but catchy word (in “Kemama”’s case it was something along the lines of “OK mama”), but does that matter in the end? It’s the music that does, in this case.

REVIEW

And in this case the music is reeeeeaaaaally THAT good.

It’s an instant turn on, if not from the lowkey minuscule-tropical beginning, then it gets going from the verses on, which features some insane catchy bass chops(?) and engaging fast singing from Benny.

I also love how differently does he sing the second and third choruses from the first one, like, he goes higher on some words (“happy you’re here” and “beautiful”), and the post-chorus chorus?? The repetition of “oooooh-my-GOOOOD, oh my Gooood” is just working me the right way?????

And the Czech lines are pure magic. Whenever I hear them, my mood is made, the time feels like it freezes, I just feel smitten by the fact that it exists. Now will it be the first entry with Czech lyrics to make it? I dunno, you decide, and I trust you, even if foolishly.

I don’t know what is it with these lyrics and what was it with “Kemama”, but it’s one of those songs dying to be turned into a dance sensation, like, a song viral on TikTok thanks to a dance challenge. You can make so many simplistic moves to whatever he’s singing.

Also the music video is pretty fantastic. Full of movie references I both recognize on spot, and don’t! For instance, this is also a movie reference, and also I’ve seen this piece of music video clip material as a ČT exclusive backstage preview of whatever they were filming for Benny.

this is very relatable. whole world IS crazy

Literally quite a lot of things in the song are perfect, and so are about the rest of my top 5, maybe even top 6. Switzerland has a great second pre-chorus among many moments, Malta has a perfect combination of the chaos within itself, San Marino is a fantastic pop song with a cool little feature verse, Italy has THAT bridge, Lithuania has the unexpected good vibes. Czech Republic is just perfect for me for the most part, without a specific moment, because there are a lot of specific moments. Good vibes all around.

Though at first I thought he was singing “you’ve been hung too long, I’ve been hung too long” (it’s “home” instead in these words). *-* doesn’t help that the “why don’t you let me have it” line sounds like Benny’s asking for sexual favours that are constantly rejected against his favour. Go simp somewhere else :P

Approval factor: SAY YES SAY YES SAY YES (- Ben & Tan) Follow-up factor: Stellar! ČT had to give up their future televised NF project due to drop outs of their previous HoD for 2020, but even then, his good pals are making sure that Czech still retain a really good maintained interest in Eurovision with their songs and all. And they gave up the NF itself to have Benny Cristo to participate for the second year in a row, with an internal song, and all is fine and dandy. “Kemama” and “Omaga” are two kickass songs in a row. Qualification factor: I really want to be optimistic about the chances of this guy. I really do. I just really want to shrug off the deadpan reactions from the press center that he was constantly getting. But what if there is no hope, and his rather lackluster looking performances are what we getting live. The visuals don’t please me a lot, with the wide shots towards the arena and not much more focus on Benny, and I would absolutely hope he’s gonna do well vocally... but... I was at first really sure he would, because he’s energetic and electrifying. Now? Might be swallowed over the competition + hopeless-ish acts performing way better than him on the night + he’s on 3rd, and while Manizha will escape that, Benny could get sadly torpedoed. Hope it’s not the case :(

INTERNAL CORNER

There were some nice moments to talk about, but they’re mostly few and far in between, BUT there was this one livestream that stood out to me in a weird way - ESCZ, the thing that is in charge of Czech Republic’s Eurovision ordeals ever since like 2018, had an Instagram livestream with Benny to talk about his Eurovision related details, that among 3 songs shortlisted they’ve chosen one, that some sort of a preview will allow a singles only early peek into the entry, and so on.

There’s also this, which made me think that Omaga’s certainly qualifying.

Just... wow. And the last higher notes he’ll certainly attempt to pull off in Rotterdam as seen in rehearsals, so I cross my fingers nothing goes awry with that.

ANY LAST WORDS?

Please Eurovision Gods, for the love of Verka and Conchita and whoever else, GIVE THIS SONG A QUALIFICATION. During the season the Czech Republic managed to slide into my top 3 and take that 3rd place spot from San Marino (yeah San Marino in my top 3 who’d’ve thought??), and that alone tells me that it is such a good song, and one of those that would seriously break me if I lost it in the semis. Please. Don’t let Benny flop. He doesn’t deserve that. Not even an ounce of that.

Or else he’ll come to haunt your nightmares after the night of the semi like this

[lethal-liability]

Info Dump Time!

So it has come to my attention that the slasher fandom has recently been introduced to Ice Nine Kills, my favorite band (aside from Rammstein, of course). So if you are really wanting to get into them but have no clue where to start, look no further! As I am about to impart my knowledge onto all of you lovely people!

So Ice Nine Kills is an American Rock band from Boston, Massachusetts (but they like to say they’re from Salem). The band was formed in 2002 by high school friends Spencer Charnas and Jeremy Schwartz, though today the only surviving member of the original band is Spencer.

(more under the cut)

The current members are:

Spencer Charnas - lead vocals (main stage character: Freddy Kruger, Jason Vorhees)

Ricky Armellino - rhythm guitar, co-vocals (the extra screaming voice in most songs lol) (main stage character: Georgie)

Patrick Galante - drums (main stage character: Jigsaw)

Joe Occhiuti - bass, keyboard (Main stage character: Eric Draven)

Dan Sugarman - lead guitar, backing vocals (Main stage character: Leatherface)

Justin “JD” DeBlieck is also technically a current member but he's been on hiatus from the band since Warped Tour 2018. His role in the band has been filled in by Ricky since then.

Their original sound was more ska-punk but have, since their first official album, have changed their sound to metalcore, or as Spencer calls it, theatricore.

Their discography is as follows:

Last Chance To Make Amends - 2006 (not currently on spotify and the only one I haven’t heard)

The Burning - 2007

2 Song Acoustic - 2009

Safe Is Just A Shadow - 2010

The Predator - 2013

The Predator Becomes The Prey - 2014

Every Trick In The Book - 2015

The Silver Scream - 2018

Other notable releases:

They’ve been featured on Punk Goes Pop three times and Punk Goes 90s once. They covered Adele’s Someone Like You on Vol. 5, Maroon 5’s Animals on Vol. 6, Taylor Swift’s I Don’t Want To Live Forever on Vol. 7, and Green Day’s Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) on Punk Goes 90’s Vol. 2 (also, side note, Motionless In White covered Rammstein’s Du Hast on that record and it is *chef kiss* horrible. Awful. Listen to it if you wanna ruin your ears. Chris Motionless does not know a lick of German and it shows)

In 2017 they released a re-recorded version of Safe Is Just A Shadow which I personally prefer over the original because it is a much cleaner record. I also like that it only features Spencer’s vocals which I find sounds much better than the mix of his and former bassist Shane Bisnett’s vocals.

Last year, they released a deluxe version of The Silver Scream which includes the new track Your Number’s Up, a cover of Michael Jackson’s Thriller, and acoustic versions of A Grave Mistake, Stabbing In The Dark, SAVAGES, and Thank God It’s Friday (personally I only really like the acoustic of A Grave Mistake)

Their two most recent albums, Every Trick In The Book and The Silver Scream follow a similar format where every song on them follows a similar theme, ETITB being all based on classic novels and TSS being all based on slasher movies (with the exception of Thriller).

The songs and what they’re based on are as follows:

The Nature Of The Beast - Animal Farm by George Orwell

Communion Of The Cursed - The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty

Bloodbath & Beyond - Dracula by Bram Stoker

The Plot Sickens - Alive: The Story of The Andes Survivors by Piers Paul Read

Star-Crossed Enemies - Romeo And Juliet by William Shakespeare (the analyst in me really loves this song because it implies that Romeo and Juliet knew that they were only characters in a play but died together anyway because they knew they couldn’t escape their fate)

Me, Myself, & Hyde - The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

Alice - Go Ask Alice by Beatrice Sparks

The People In The Attic - The Diary Of A Young Girl by Anne Frank (this song features Spencer doing a very unconvincing German accent which, outside of the context of the song, is very funny)

Tess-Timony - Tess of the D’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy

Hell In The Hallways - Carrie by Stephen King

The American Nightmare - A Nightmare On Elm Street

Thank God It’s Friday - Friday The 13th

Stabbing In The Dark - Halloween

SAVAGES - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

The Jig Is Up - Saw

A Grave Mistake - The Crow

Rocking The Boat - Jaws (fun fact! This song features Jeremy Schwartz, the other founding member of the band and the lyrics contain the names of 5 of their 6 albums, excluding The Silver Scream)

Enjoy Your Slay - The Shining (another fun fact! In 2016 they put a vote to their fans to pick what piece of media the song they were working on would be based on, either The Shining or Psycho, I voted for Psycho because they already had a song based on a Stephen King story)

Freak Flag - The Devil’s Rejects

The World In My Hands - Edward Scissor-Hands

Merry Axe-Mas - Silent Night, Deadly Night

Love Bites - An American Werewolf In London

IT Is The End - It (including this one they have 3 songs based on Stephen King stories! His influence, ugh)

Your Number’s Up - Scream

More fun facts!

Aside from INK, Spencer also has a clothing company, Kleaver Klothing, which if they haven’t moved sites again, is at salem666.com

Last Year on their Summer tour they were supposed to play a show at a venue in Orlando, Florida that is on the grounds of Disney World. At the last minute Disney canceled their show because they’re performance was deemed “too violent” for a family park, despite the show already being 18+. In retaliation, the band released a series of limited edition merchandise featuring classic Disney characters as slasher villains, most notably Mickey Mouse as Freddy Kruger. They literally all sold out. I really should have got one when I had the chance

I own more pieces of Ice Nine Kills merch than literally any other piece of media I have ever consumed, including:

3 t shirts

2 tank tops

1 Letterman jacket

1 CD

2 vinyls

1 Kleaver t shirt (that I’m wearing right now)

1 poster

And a red balloon and paper boat from the IT Is The End music video promotion, (the boat is currently serving as a jewelry dish on my vanity)

I’ve seen them twice, Warped Tour 2016 and Warped Tour 2018, both times I met Spencer after the set and despite the whole scary act the band puts on during the shows, he’s very genuine and always really sweet to his fans. Enjoy these fetus pictures of me meeting him at 14 and 16 y/o

The lyric sheet for The Silver Scream is formatted like a spec script with action lines, scene headings, and inter-scene cuts, which screenwriting student me really, really enjoys

I got distracted while writing this because Patrick went live on Instagram, oops. He was setting up his new kit for the show tonight, it looks really cool, they’re painted to look like popcorn buckets

So that’s about it! Thank you for reading and enjoy the music!

[reviewsforyouse]

Phoebe Bridgers’ Punisher Aims for Perfection.

There is a lot of speculation surrounding Phoebe Bridgers’ reflective and raw lyrical content, with her drummer and ex-boyfriend Marshall Vore co-writing many of her songs. There’s so much to dissect: double entendres, metaphors, and beautiful imagery that leaves us with questions. Who is she talking about? Why won’t he play those damn drums? Why is everything so scary?

Bridgers undeniably makes music for the anxious of mind. On Instagram, she stated that for the ‘Garden Song,’ video, ‘I don’t smoke weed because I’m already afraid of everything but I told my brother to get me stoned in his bedroom and scare me for this video.’

The American folk singer releases her second solo body of work, Punisher, in full on the 19th of June. As of today, three of the singles from this are available on streaming services: I See you, Kyoto and Garden Song.

Kyoto is different to a lot of Bridger’s previous work, decidedly more poppy and upbeat, with Bright Eyes’ Nathaniel Walcott on the conquering horns which compliment the chorus. Having previously been written as a ballad, the 25-year-old stated that she was tired of doing slow numbers. The song discusses a day off in the Japanese city, and receiving a letter from who we can assume is her father, who has been known to be abusive towards her and having struggled with addiction, ‘Tell me you’re getting sober, you wrote me a letter but I don’t have to read it.’  

The singer also delves into the world of astrology, talking of trying to understand him, although their differing star signs make this difficult for her: ‘Born under Scorpio skies, I wanted to see the world through your eyes, and then I changed my mind.’ This line alludes to the act of using any means available to understand why someone has treated you in a negative way, whether you believe in astrology or not.

I See you discusses her previous relationship with her drummer Marshall Vore, who co-wrote the song. The honesty with which she sings about hating his mother, and how he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, on a song they both agreed to release, shows that they have a healthy enough relationship despite their past together (this is such an anomaly to me, but props to them for making this work.)

The line, ‘I used to Light you up, but now I can’t even get you to play the drums’ from Bridgers seems an allusion to her song Scott Street, ‘I asked you how is playing drums? You said it’s too much shit to carry.’ Although the latter was allegedly written by Vore about an ex-girlfriend, I still love an ‘homage-to-my-own-work’ kind of moment. My personal favourite line, however, is in the second verse, ‘If you’re a work of art, I’m standing too close, I can see the brush strokes.’ This reminds me of impressionist paintings, how they’re perfect from afar, but spending too much time around them, up-close, the imperfections will soon make themselves known.

Finally, Garden Song is a masterpiece. It’s maybe even her Magnum Opus, but I’ll let the rest of the album unfurl before confirming this. Featuring her tour manager -who she recently discovered had a beautiful voice and had to include him- the song discusses reoccurring nightmares Bridgers has while on tour (See? Everything is scary.)

The song alludes to her home town, juxtaposing seemingly pleasant imagery with the morose reality she attaches them to, ‘They’re gluing roses on a flat bed, you should see it, I mean thousands.’ This line paints a picture of her home town of Pasadena, and the Rose Parade that happens there. She bluntly compares this supposedly jolly event to a funeral. A true realist.

Jeroen Vrijhoef reflects the chorus back to Bridgers, but two octaves lower, their voices melding in a surprisingly natural-sounding and charming way. ‘See our reflection in the water off a bridge at the Huntington, I hopped the fence when I was seventeen, and then I knew what I wanted.’ She uses her home town to voice that adolescent illusion of knowing completely what we want out of life, whether it’s to be with the person we like by creating mischief and breaking into an out of bounds setting as Bridgers suggests, or perhaps it’s the staring at ‘our reflection in the water,’ and having a clear and perfect view of ourselves.

The dreaming theme continues throughout the song, ‘I’m at the movies, I don’t know what I’m seeing, the screen turns into a tidal wave, then it’s a dorm room, like a hedge maze, and when I find you, you touch my leg, and I insist.’ This references a classic scene from Donnie Darko that occurs in a cinema, confirmed by the imagery of someone in a rabbit suit sitting beside her in the music video. This line also alludes to the phenomenon in dreaming where places morph into new ones instantly, and effectively continues the garden metaphor, often used to portray the female body, but the idea of a maze implying that there is more awkwardness, more difficulty involved. An image of two people exploring each others’ bodies for the first time is created.

The final chorus uses alternative lyrics to suggest growth, ‘Everything’s growing in our garden, you don’t have to know it’s haunted.’ Phoebe’s difficult past isn’t going to go away, but that does not mean positive change cannot happen.

The 19th of June hovers over us like a dream-filled sleep. Bridgers might just deliver her best body of work yet.

[dimensionsunited]

MAY 2020 DIMENSIONS ENTERTAINMENT SCHEDULES & REVIEW

Members may earn 3 points each (up to 6 points) for writing, by the end of June 7 KST:

A solo para of 400+ words based on their monthly schedule (does not count toward your monthly total).

A thread of six posts (three per participant, including the starter) based on their monthly schedule.

Threads do not have to take place directly during an important date listed on the schedule, but must be related to what the muse is mentioned to be doing in the paragraph explaining their schedule/the company’s schedule for the month and/or their thoughts on the mentioned activities or lack thereof.

These schedules may be updated throughout the month if new information needs to be added.

Reminder: April schedule posts are due by the end of May 7 KST. Please do not post schedule posts in the fmdschedule tag.

Overall Company

On an idol level, there’s not much happening on a larger company scale this month. Dimensions still seems extremely invested in CHAMPION’s success as they debut next month and creative director Choi Dongwook has fallen some from his traditional savior status among the creative and marketing departments, as well as in the public’s eyes, after his insistence on Lucid revisiting their darker concept didn’t pay off, but for the idols themselves, it’s another month of schedules.

Important dates:

N/A

Dimensions Soloist 1

University festival season brings with it a chance for her to get on stage and perform in front of large crowds again for what’s really the first time since she wrapped her tour and her last music show promotions. She’s still a popular choice for such festivals due to an image that’s more palatable for college-aged students than the typical idol. Still, several other idol groups and soloists will be among her peers performing at the festivals.

Important dates:

May 15: Performance at Yonsei University Akaraka Festival (also performing: WISH, Gold Star Soloist 1, and Fuse).

May 21: Performance at Myeongji University Festival (also performing: Aria).

May 27: Performance at Keimyung University Festival (also performing: BC Soloist 1).

Dimensions Soloist 2

Promotions continue as expected this month. Other than his music show appearances, he has a radio show guesting and some online video content to film. He’ll also be part of the list of singers performing at the Seoul Jazz Festival near the end of his promotion period as Dimensions continues to straddle the marketing line with him between idol and serious musician.

Important dates:

May 4: Idol Radio guesting.

May 6: M2 High-Live video filming.

May 8: “Feeling” Oasis Live video filming.

May 23: Performance at the Seoul Jazz Festival.

May 24: Performance at the Seoul Jazz Festival.

May 28: End of music show promotions.

Dimensions Soloist 3

The success of “I” has made her Dimensions’ new golden child in only one round of promotions. Said round of promotions ends May 15, but she proves she doesn’t need to be actively promoting for her song to remain stable on the charts. The company is impressed with the performance of the song to say the least, but that also means any chance she had of a break following her promotions has gone out the window. Instead, an OnStyle reality show has been concocted to really reel in all of the new potential fans she’s earned. Some of the content the company filmed that was originally intended to be uploaded to YouTube will be used for the early episodes of the show, but she has new content to film as well as the end of her music show promotions will be filmed.

Important dates:

May 15: End of music show promotions.

Gal.actic

Their Guangzhou fanmeeting was a success and now that they’re back in Seoul, it’s on to preparations for their mini-concerts at the end of the month. Dimensions Entertainment will be holding an eight-day long photo exhibition of Gal.actic throughout the years for fans to visit and Gal.actic will perform at the gallery on the first and last day of the event. Not only will they be performing their latest title tracks (”B.B.B”, “Someone Like U”, “Be Ambitious”), but also some fan favorites from earlier in their career (”Supa Dupa Diva”, “Venus”, “Gossip Girl”, ‘Sticky Sticky”, “A”) to match the theme of walking down memory lane. The members will be in rehearsals rooms throughout the month to remind themselves of any of the older choreography they may have forgotten.

Important dates:

May 24: Be Ambitious photo exhibition and mini-concert at Gallery K in Seoul.

May 31: Be Ambitious photo exhibition and mini-concert at Gallery K in Seoul.

Alien

Alien’s schedules have been incredibly busy in recent memory, so the lower profile they’ll be keeping this month is a change of pace. They have no public schedules this month as Dimensions releases their new Japanese album, but they will have work to do behind the scenes. Early in the month, the priority is to record yet another English single, “Someone’s Someone” and film the MV mid-month. The day after they finish filming for the music video, they’ll be in the studio to begin recording their next comeback album.

Important datess:

May 14: Someone’s Someone MV filming day one.

May 15: Someone’s Someone MV filming day two.

May 20: Release of Phenomenon Japanese album.

MARS

May is comeback month! As a brighter comeback, “Take Me Higher” leads to split opinions among MARS’s fandom, but it is their first comeback in almost a year, so the fan reaction is generally excited nevertheless. They have the luck of promoting during their sixth anniversary and will hold a mini fan-meeting outside of Inkigayo as they pass another year spent with fans, but members are encouraged to up fan outreach this month to take advantage of the sentimental feeling among them during their anniversary month.

Important dates:

May 14: Release of “Take Me Higher” & MARS Adventure in Wonderland showcase, music show promotions continue until June 14.

May 15: Arirang Radio Super K-Pop guesting.

May 19: Appearance on Fact In Star.

May 21: Take Me Higher Relay Dance video filming.

May 24: Sixth debut anniversary mini fan-meeting.

7ROPHY

7ROPHY begins the month finishes up preparations for their comeback at the end of the month. Amid constant practice to make their performances of their next comeback the best they can be, they have photo shoots and MV filming. In the week leading up to their comeback, they’ll also have their first university festival performances of the year, which Dimensions hopes will have the audience tuning in to hear what they put out next. There isn’t much time before the end of the month to see how “No” performs, but it doesn’t take long to see where it’s success is going to fall in their discography: somewhere above “Me”, but nowhere near the heights of “Latata”, “Hann”, or even “Senorita”.

Important dates:

May 1: Comeback teaser photo shoot.

May 6: “No” MV filming + individual video teaser filming..

May 22: Performance at Sogang University festival (also performing: BEE).

May 26: Performance at Daejin University festival (also performing: Decipher).

May 27: Release of “No” & No. 1 showcase, music show promotions continue until June 27.

May 28: Performance at Korea University festival (also performing: CHARM and Aria).

Unity

The end of their Japanese tour at the beginning of the month also marks the end of their tour. It was a successful one, so their managers will be sure to treat them to a meal on the company card when they get back to Seoul on May 5. Only one week of rest is in the cards for Unity, from May 6 to May 12 where the members will be freed from any group schedules and will be permitted to travel abroad (even without a manager) if they wish (excluding CHAMPION members who will be working on the sub-unit debut). It’s one of the biggest tests of their freedom they’ve had now that they’ve passed the four year mark, but upon their return, they’ll be reminded they’ve signed up for more work than play as they get immediately into preparations for their next comeback by recording the album.

Important dates:

May 2: Unity Tour concert at Musashino Forest Sports Plaza in Tokyo, Japan.

May 3: Unity Tour concert at Musashino Forest Sports Plaza in Tokyo, Japan.

May 4: Unity Tour concert at Musashino Forest Sports Plaza in Tokyo, Japan.

            ↳ CHAMPION

The official announcement of CHAMPION is made on the 5th and the reaction seems to be more negative than positive at first with some passionate fans of all three groups raising objections out of concern for group or solo schedules for their favorite idols. Dimensions and BC may not have anticipated the exact level of backlash the news gets, but their only choice is to operate on the idea that all publicity is good publicity. The goal this month is to get fans used to seeing everyone together by beginning to release content of them and even having an Instagram live as the first official live event with all six sub-unit members together before they make their debut next month. In preparation for the sub-unit’s tour, the members will be recording and learning the choreography for two new songs (”Dangerous Woman” and “With You”) this month, too. Furthermore, all members of the sub-unit who have made a solo debut as of the end of May 2020 will be informed they will be given a solo stage of their latest promoted solo single to pad out the tour set list. That affects the following muses as follows with the following songs:

@fmdjaewon: “Fiancé”

@fmdyul: “Focus”

Important dates:

May 6: Album unboxing video filming.

May 13: Instagram live.

May 30: Release of performance video.

Lucid

To say Dimensions seems in a rush to get promotions over with wouldn’t be wrong, but they’ve already invested in a month’s worth of promotions, so Lucid must see them out with the shining light of some university festivals to bring in money to the company. At the university festivals they’ll be performing songs from both their nightmare realm concept and their regular realm concept in their “You and I” styling despite the general public having made it clear which they prefer. Three days after they end music show promotions, the members will move out of their old dorm into a new, slightly nicer one in closer proximity to the company building. Roommates will remain the same.

Important dates:

May 13: Performance at Wonkwang University festival (also performing: BEE, Aria, and Gold Star Soloist 2).

May 22: Performance at Hanyang University festival (also performing: Lipstick).

May 23: End of music show promotions.

May 26: New dorm move-in day.

[golbrocklovely]

only the lonely survive // colby brock - chapter fifteen: and about forgiveness, we’re both supposed to have exchanged

A/N: hey guys :) here’s the next chapter. some crazy stuff happens in this, so let me know what you think. i’ll be coming out with another request at some point soon, so be on the lookout for that.

description of the story

taglist:  @ajosieface , @localsleeper , @julyrubyrose , @far-to-many-bands , @absolute-randomness-forever

trigger warning: cursing

word count: 2200

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After talking to Casey for over an hour about Colby and Brennen, I finally went to my room. Removing my dress from the other night and changing into pjs, I scrolled through my phone again out of boredom. I was gaining a lot of followers and subscribers, my dms were filled to the max, and people were tagging me in everything.

This is all a bit overwhelming.

I clicked on my username on insta and went down to my secret account: my Sam and Colby fan account. No one knew of golbrockloves, mostly because I never talked about it. I especially haven't brought it up to Colby.

How do you tell the guy you made out with that you have an instagram dedicated to him and his best friend without looking creepy? Exactly.

I slid down my feed, only to be met with pictures and videos of me. One video was a screen recording of my snapchat from yesterday, me and Colby in the store.

Why does that feel like such a long time ago?

The next couple pictures were from people's stories: screenshots of me and Colby dancing together, me and Colby next to each other in the kitchen, me and Brennen.

I bit my lip anxiously as I clicked on the comments. They weren't exactly bad, but they weren't great.

 snc3lifee who the fck is she?????

samnccolbby her @ is skyebennett

lovely_sncc is she dating colby or brennen?

saramcc OMG COLBY AND HER ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER

solby5vr she better stay away from colby!! HES MINE!!!!

dolansnc why can't colby stand next to a girl without everyone shipping her with him? jesus christ this fandom

 It was strange to see fans talk about me, as if they didn't know I would see what they were saying. Maybe having this fan account was a good thing: I could see how they all honestly thought about me without anyone knowing.

After reading more and more comments, I could tell most believed me and Colby were together. Or maybe me and Brennen. No one was certain. All they knew was that I was close to both. A lot of fans kept saying that I wasn't dating either one of them and that I was just friends.

While still lurking around on insta, I got a bunch of notifications from my personal account. I switched over to it to see I was tagged in multiple snippets of videos. Clicking on the it, I saw the face of Travis Marcus. He had uploaded a new video to his channel, titled "my truth".

Oh God...

I went to youtube and saw his video was slowly starting to trend. I clicked play and sat down on my bed.

Travis sighed, glancing up at the camera. "Hey guys, it's your boy Travis. Um, I have a lot to get off my chest right now. I'm sorry my energy isn't as high as it usually is. But, I needed to set the record straight. There is a lot of shitty things going around about me lately and I wanted to clear the air and tell you the truth."

"Skye, did you see-" Casey stated, dashing into my room. She stopped when she saw my phone in my hand. We both stood there watching Travis.

"So, as you guys know, I was recently accused of doing something terrible... of bullying another youtuber. I won't say her name because she doesn't deserve any more hate... or clout." His lips twitched, trying to cover up a smirk.

"As if he didn't tag you in the fucking video. Fucking asshat." Casey mumbled.

"One of her friends, Brennen Taylor, an old viner, tweeted that I made fun of her at a party recently. I just wanted to say that this is completely false. What actually happened was that I introduced myself to her. She claimed she was a huge fan and that she wanted to… get with me." Travis nodded his head uncomfortably.

What the fuck.

He continued. “I declined because she was extremely intoxicated. She then proceeded to get upset with me, made a huge scene, got kicked out of the party, and then I can only assume went to Brennen. He was also really drunk, which is why he tweeted in the first place.”

Casey gasped. “Are you kidding me? I'm gonna kill h-”

I hushed her, my eyes never leaving the screen.

“I have footage from that night, because I vlogged it. However, the audio got fucked up so I'm sorry for how muffled it is.” He admitted.

The screen changed to the night of the party. I saw myself standing in front of Travis, talking to him. The audio was complete garbage, low and muffled. I glanced over at the camera, only a moment later Travis nodded at it, smirking. Something I didn't see at the time. My face contorts for a second, he shrugs, and I shake my head, leaving immediately afterwards.

“Now, does that look like I was making fun of her? No. I would never do that. She was upset because I respectfully told her I didn't want to get with her after all her advances. She literally tried later that night to dance up on me, but I just wasn't into her. After I filmed this, she got kicked out for trying to hook up with another youtuber. I think she's desperate for views and just wants more followers.” He declared.

“So, don't give her that attention. And, don't send her hate guys. I wish her and Brennen the best honestly. Sorry this video is so short, I needed to get this off my chest. I hope you all can understand. Peace.” He threw up a peace sign, and then pushed his hand into the lens of the camera, the video fading to black.

Stunned silence fell over the room. Neither one of us could speak.

“Is this real life? I kinda feel like I've had this nightmare before.” I whispered.

“He can't be serious. Does he really think he can get away with this?” Casey shook with rage.

“Why wouldn't he be able to? He has almost a million followers. I just passed 2,000, if I haven't already lost all of them.” My voice faltered.

“I'm gonna call Brennen and see if he can help.” Casey left quickly, pulling out her phone.

I laid my back against my bed, closing my eyes. I took a couple deep breaths, trying to slow down my heart-rate.

That's it.

I sat up quickly. I went over to my desk and pulled out my camera. Setting it up on my tripod, I got comfortable in my chair.

I sighed deeply, then turned my camera on

"Hi everyone. I didn't think this amount of drama would happen to me so soon in my youtube career, yet here we are." I joked.

"I'm sorry if this video is a little all over the place. I'm not editing it. I'm just gonna post it as is.” I clapped my hands together, trying to stop their shaking.

I cleared my throat. “If you don't know, I'm the girl Travis Marcus made fun of. Or he claims he didn't make fun of. I need you all to know that he is lying. I'm not sure why when he could easily just admit he fucked up and apologize. Instead, he did this.”

“I want to tell you guys what actually happened that night…” I stated, looking directly at the camera.

I began to explain that party in detail: how Travis came up to me, how he flirted with me, only for him to make fun of my appearance and film it. I then went on to explain how I left the party because of him ruining my night, only to be told a couple hours later that he got kicked out of the party because he started a fight with Sam, Colby, and Brennen by throwing his drink on Kat.

"I have four witnesses, plus my best friend. And Big Nik's security team could easily corroborate my story. On top of all that, I have this."

I grabbed my phone, pulled open my dms on twitter, and found Travis' message to me. I showed the message to the camera, letting it focus on his words.

Travis: please tell Brennen to take down the tweets. Things are getting out of hand. I apologize for what I said.

"Why would you apologize for something that you didn't do? All of this could have been avoided if you wouldn't have made fun of me. I get you're 'famous' and have the ego the size of a tractor-trailer, but that doesn't mean you get to make fun of random people because they don't fit into what you think is attractive. Be nicer. Be kind. And stop lying to make yourself look good."

I reached over and turned off my camera. I paused, my breath hitching in my throat for a moment.

Holy fuck, did I just film that?

/  /  /  /

I felt cozy surface beneath me tremble slightly. Three times in a row. I opened my eyes, glancing around my dark room.

Was all of that a dream?

I slid my hand over my bed, finding the item that was vibrating. I turned it over, my eyes closing instantly from the bright light. Squinting, I saw messages from all different people. But the most recent made me smile softly.

Colby: are you up to talk?

I shuffled my body upwards, leaning over and turning my light on. I gazed over at my sleeping laptop, my camera still plugged in. The memories flooded back to me. I uploaded a response to Travis, and instantly fell asleep from anxiety induced exhaustion. I didn't even want to see if anyone supported me or not.

Unlocking my phone, I went to Colby's message immediately.

Skye: just woke up. i'm down to talk.

Moments later, my phone started ringing. I answered it. "Hey Colby."

"Hey. How are you doing?" He asked sweetly.

I chuckled. “I've been better, that's for sure.”

“How long have you been asleep? Everyone's been trying to contact you.” He stated.

I shrugged. “Right after I uploaded the video, I fell asleep. I was just too stressed.”

“I'm sorry to hear that.” He apologized.

I held back a smile. “It's okay. I'm alright.”

“So, I guess you don't know what happened.” Colby replied.

“No, what did?” I questioned.

“Travis deleted his video.” He deadpanned.

I sat up quickly. “Wait what?”

“Well, after you posted yours, Brennen and I talked to Big Nik and we found out from him that his friend John was recording a snapchat during the fight that occurred with all of us in it. It shows Travis getting pulled out of the party yelling essentially what he said to you at everyone.” He informed me, continuing. “He cussed and screamed while he got kicked out, and John sent the video to Messy Monday, and they uploaded it to twitter. It's been trending for the past couple hours.”

“Holy shit. So, the snapchat proved me right?” I muttered.

“Yep. Travis took down his video. He's been radio silent since.” He laughed.

“He probably left a few choice words for me.” I said, rolling my eyes.

“If he did, let me know. I got some unfinished business with him.” Colby joked, causing me to let out a laugh. “Besides, before he deleted his video, Sam, me, Kat, and Brennen all came out on twitter and said that you were right. On top of that, apparently a thread was created of how rude Travis has been to fans. So... he's kinda done for.”

“I wouldn't be so sure of that. He'll be back in less than a month.” I scoffed, pulling my blanket closer to me.

“Well, even if he does come back, everyone will know you were right.” He reassured.

I picked at my blanket. “Tell that to his fans.”

“Enough about Travis. Is there anything I can do to get your mind off of him?” He requested.

I sighed. “Like what?”

“Go out with me.” I could hear the smile in his voice.

“What?” I choked.

“Go out with me. Where ever you want to go, I'll take you there.” Colby promised.

“When are you taking me out?”

“How about tomorrow? Say eight P.M?”

A smile rose to my lips. “Okay... that sounds good.”

“Where do you want to go?” He inquired.

“If you don't mind it... I kinda want to stay in for a bit. Hide away from the world. Maybe you could come here? We could order take out and watch some movies. And cuddle?” I bit my lip nervously.

He agreed happily. “That sounds fantastic.”

“Good. I can't wait.” I beamed.

“Is there anything else you want to talk about?” He mumbled, yawning.

I shook my head. “No. Besides, you sound like you need to go to sleep.”

“I'll stay up if you want me to.” He admitted.

“No. No, I'm okay really. You should get some sleep.” I declared.

“Alright. I'll see you tomorrow.” He responded.

“It's a date.” I smiled.

“Goodnight, Skye.” He whispered.

I giggled quietly. “Goodnight, Colby.”

<< CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 16 >>

[aj-artjunkyard]

Trials Of Apollo Oneshot Series CHAPTER SIX

Takes place after the burning maze. Spoilers!

Meg propped her red high-tops up on the wooden table, engorging herself in a greasy chicken wing. I myself reclined on the sofa next to her, chewing on the best tasting fish I’d come across in a long time. The aurae brought whatever food the demigod, legacy or ex-god would like best. In my case, it was a typical ancient greek dinner - grilled fish with a small side dish of olives and olive oil. It reminded me of the old days, the heavenly smell wafting from my mother’s kitchen (minus the olives of course, as they had not yet been invented) while young Artemis and I played with nymphs, climbed trees and held archery competitions. Granted, my mother usually added a garnish of ground ambrosia, but that was slightly too impossible for me in my current state. Still, the thought brought tears to my eyes. I missed my sister and mother, more than words could describe. I managed to blink back the moisture welling up, but I was still glad we dined alone.

Our table looked pathetically desolate compared to the tables around us, which held fifteen demigods each. No one really wanted to talk to those who had pulled their respected leader into a quest which had gotten him killed. So, with our backs to the crowd, we ate in thoughtful silence (at least on my part) until Meg stirred me from my nostalgic reverie.

“You think Ella will finish the book thing in time?” Meg asked, pulling a chicken bone from her mouth and flicking it across the table.

“The Sibylline Books.” I corrected.

“Same difference.” 

“That’s my line.”

“Will they be ready or not?”

I sighed with exasperation at the impatience of my master. 

“I do not know.”

Meg rolled her eyes. 

“You never know anything.”

“Hey! I know as much as my father has left intact in my memories, and that is not my fault.”

Meg ignored my defence, and leaned over to my plate to prod my fish in the eye. 

“That’s gross,” she said, screwing up her face.

“Yes,” I agreed. “It is in fact disgusting to poke someone else’s food when they know you haven’t washed your hands.”

“Not that, dummy.” She pointed at my forkful of fish, which was halfway to my mouth. “That.”

I rolled my eyes and took another bite. “What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s hardly cooked.”

“It’s grilled.” 

Meg stuffed her face with another few bites. Her mouth was so full I was surprised she could still breathe. “Aren’t you supposed to put batter on it or something?” She asked, spraying my face with spit and bits of chicken. I grudgingly wiped it off. 

“Is there anything you Americans don’t deep fry?” 

In response, Meg lifted her feet off the low table, swivelled around and dropped them heavily onto my legs. She was now lying the length of the sofa while half-draped over me, pinning me to the soft cushioning. “Ow.”

She snorted at my discomfort, then continued to inhale her meat. 

My mind wandered around the possibilities of ever seeing my family again. My uncle Poseidon, who had always been my favourite uncle (although my only other uncles are either titans or Hades, so I guess that doesn’t come across as much of a compliment, but it is). My good friends, Hermes and Dionysus, who were always up for a good prank on Ares or ready with a bottle of wine after an awful day (but remember, alcohol is bad, kids. We only drink it because we are each over 3000 years old. Do not attempt until you are the same age, no matter what Dionysus tells you). My sister, the sharp huntress whom I would defend to the death. My mother. Sacred Sibyl, I missed my mother. I missed her warm hugs, her sweet honeysuckle scent, her soft, caring voice. I couldn’t stand the thought of never feeling her comforting presence again. I had to get home.

…

I woke, drenched in cold sweat and gasping for breath. ‘Blasted nightmares,’ I thought, desperately trying to rip the sheets off myself with shaking hands. My legs were still partially entangled when I attempted to stand, resulting in me thumping loudly to the floor. I grasped around in the dark for the small bedside table to help me stand. When I found the edge, I began to pull myself up, but the table tipped, sending me back to the hard floor and spilling its contents onto my head. The digital clock that clattered beside me read 01:38. I growled at it and stood, despite my quaking limbs. My nightmares had wildly unsettled me in ways I wouldn’t tolerate. ‘You’ll never hang onto those memories’, they taunted. ‘Give it a week and you won’t even remember their names’. 

“Shut up, shut up!” I hissed to myself. I began wondering, stumbling towards to bookshelf at the end of the long room. ‘What kind of brother forgets a sibling?’ “Stop.” ‘What kind of son?’ “Stop it!”

I began to yank old, dusty, leather bound books from the shelf, looking for anything with my name on the front. I needed to remember me. Anything. Anything at all. Finally, a large black book with the emboldened golden letters ‘APOLLŌ’ printed on the spine caught my attention. It was a few inches thick and the cover was almost as wide as my chest. Eyes widening, I harshly ripped the book out from its place, the sudden weight bearing down on my weak arms almost causing me to drop it. I did not wish to make any more noise than I already had. I wrapped it in my gangly human arms and lugged it out the door. 

I cannot say I knew where I was headed. I simply needed to get somewhere, to feel the crisp night wind sting my skin into feeling anything but numbness. I found myself marching up a hill. The extra muscle exertion distracted me from my troubles, so I kept climbing. A good way up the hill, I started to feel the pull of the familiar. Temple Hill. I scanned the assorted statues and . There was no particular order, other than ‘most important at the top’. Further on, a massive red crypt loomed, decorated with flames and human skulls. The name Mars Ultor came to me, but I overlooked it. My mind was so busy with rushing thoughts and doubts that I feared any more information might make my brain explode.

My fingers fidgeted with the tears and rough leather texture of the book in my grasp. I felt as if a band composed of nothing but timpani were performing a drumroll in my mind, getting more and more intense with each passing second. Unable to stand still for much longer, I bolted to my right, keeping my head down and following whatever path was under my feet. 

Maybe the last scraps of my godly essence guided me to the place it felt most at home. My mind was caught in such a flurry of panic that I barely noticed I was climbing marble steps until the steely cold shocked my unprotected soles. I was in an circular, open room held up by bronze pillars that were rimmed with gold. A golden dome sat over my head, and an array of my favourite items littered the right side of the room - a golden bow, a quiver stocked with arrows, an elegant grand piano. In the middle of the temple, an altar sat, waiting for sacrifices. I padded to the back of the room, my bare feet echoing on the smooth marble. Sliding my back down a pillar, I sat and heaved the book open. I was too flustered  to have possibly read a word, but the pictures soothed me. There were a few century-old ink sketches of the 'Apollo Belvedere’ in Rome, next to a modern Polaroid marked ‘Latona and Her Children, Apollo and Diana, carved 1874’ I smiled at the tranquil scene. Mother rarely appeared as such now, certainly not after the invention of many modern braid styles (she got me to teach her how to use Instagram so she can ‘see the videos all those pretty young ladies post’ and learn new hairstyles. She’s admittedly very talented. We tied on our self-held Let’s See Who Can Braid Their Hair The Fastest completion). A tear dripped onto the picture. I turned the page.

This one showed the ‘Diana as Huntress’  statue in Berlin. Artie always huffed about her statues, said they were ‘Too dramatic’. She questioned why she, a seasoned hunter, would ever stand around and wait around for the wind to blow the right direction just so she could look cool to the monsters charging at her and her girls. She can say what she likes, but I know that she prefers it when sculptors include her dogs. Just a thought for any artists out there, looking to gain Diana’s favour *wink*. I grinned at the thought of her thirteen year old form pouting up at me. The memory was fuzzy, but still clearer than usual. I turned the page again.

Again and again I flicked through photos of my relatives, skimming over the paragraphs just enough that it reminded me of their names and their relationships with me. Hermes/Mercury was my impish best friend, who I’d vowed to love for eternity. Hera/Juno was my stepmother who caused my mother and siblings nothing but pain, but somehow we respected each other enough to eat cabbage together and compliment each other’s hair. Dionysus/Bacchus was the ultimate party-man, often inviting me to play for his revelries. 

I turned the page once more. This time, I was met with an image that spanned the length of the two pages. At the top of the page, black threatening letters spelled out ‘JUPITER, FATHER OF APOLLO’ and in smaller writing ‘St Petersburg, Hermitage Museum’. Even from glancing into those blank, marble eyes, my anger spiked. ‘There he is’, I thought, ‘sitting all smug on his little stupid throne-’ I admit, my thoughts turned to bitter toddler-like insults. But looking at the god responsible for my misery made me want to throw the book across the temple and storm away. So I did just that. The book smacked into the alter (which tipped) and thumped open onto the floor cover side up, the crusty pages wrinkling under the force. I left the hook where the golden bow had hung empty as I went.

…

Twang!

The arrow just inside the red circle of the target, and I mentally awarded myself seven points. Not that it mattered. Judging by the moon’s position in the inky sky, it was now 3am - I had been at Camp Jupiter’s open-air archery range for almost two hours. No one else had been here when I arrived, and I was glad it had stayed that way. I needed time alone. To stew. I had first come out with the intention to ‘practice’ (still an alien concept to ex-flawless archers such as myself), but now, this long into the session, I was only blowing off steam. Channeling my frustration into every loose of an arrow, imagining the target as everyone who had wronged me over the course of this forsaken punishment. My knuckles tightened. My eyes narrowed. My shoulders tensed. 

Twang! An arrow buried itself deep in the flesh of Commodus’ shoulder.

Twang! A wooden shaft protruded from Caligula’s throat.

Twang! Blood seeped through the mauve suit surrounding Nero’s manipulating, insensitive heart.

Twang! Zeus howled in pain at the arrow embedded in his sternum.

Twang! Python writhed in agony, agony he deserved-

“Apollo!”

I yelped and my shot went wildly off course, flying high with no power or distance, and landing in the grass in front of the target with a thud. Whipping around, I was about to tell whoever it was to GO AWAY when I was met with an equally startled young man, dressed in pyjama bottoms and the signature purple Camp Jupiter t-shirt, with the gold letters SPQR emblazoned boldly on the front. He quickly raised his hands in a placid manner, showing that he meant no harm. Nevertheless, I remained on guard. There had been a few who had not exactly welcomed the bearers of Jason’s coffin warmly, and this had been a close friend of the son of Jupiter. I feared I could not take this particular demigod in a fight. Even though he looked to be not much older than myself, he towered above me - perhaps a few inches beyond six foot tall, which made my lanky 5”6 feel minuscule. He had handsome asian features and soft brown eyes that I wagered could shift from kindness to anger in moments. He wore jet black hair in a military cut, making him seem like the world’s youngest army general.

“Frank Zhang.” I nodded to him once before turning back to my anger outlet. I was in no mood to talk. Not after loosing any way to contact my family. Not after loosing my memories to oblivion. Not after loosing Jason. Not when I knew he could react violently, as some already had. And if his heritage and blessing from Mars went against my mortal pathetic self, I doubted I would last more than ten seconds. Thankfully, he did not look like he came to pick a fight. He came forward and stood beside me silently, watching as I drew back the bowstring. I felt his eyes bore into me, assessing my posture, my strength, my balance. It was off-putting. That, dear readers, is why my arrow went rogue. It wasn’t my fault. It thunked into the wooden leg that held up the target. I felt my cheeks redden. I glared at the stupid arrow, willing it to pick itself up and hover over to the bullseye. Unsurprisingly, this did not happen. It stubbornly stayed where it was, planted in the wood. 

I really hated having an audience for my failures, especially if the audience was a child who had once hoped and prayed for me, the Great Golden Archer, to be his father. I doubted Frank felt such a longing anymore. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. He was smiling sympathetically at me, having witnessed my disgraceful excuse for a shot for the first time. I decided that Gaia coming back and swallowing me whole at that exact moment would not have been protested against.

“Here,” Frank said calmly, reaching towards me and adjusting my grip on the bowstring. “You’re gripping the string too far up your fingers. You don’t want to make a fist around it.” He peered down at my feet. “And you’re too tense. Relax your stance a little.” I obliged, already seeing my stupid mistakes. My cheeks seemed to heat up even more, and I found myself resisting the urge to bury my acne-ridden face in my hoodie. Frank seemed to notice, and backed off, instead ambling over to a small supply shed where he scooped up a bow and a fistful of arrows. I kept myself occupied from the daunting future that would have Frank humiliating me by nocking another arrow. This time, I tried to take on board what advice I’d been given.

I angled my left foot closer to the direction of the target, so I took on a more open stance, then checked my fingering was correct. Taking a deep breath, I used my back muscles to push my shoulder blades together as to take the strain off my arm and shoulder muscles - an unforgotten golden rule of archery. I drew back the bowstring until I reached my anchor point (the index finger touching the corner of my mouth), and fired. Twang! Not a bullseye, but well within the first yellow circle. I grinned in delight. Success was a rare feeling nowadays.

“Good job.” He congratulated quietly, grinning and turning to his own target. We both drew our bows.

After about ten more shots, and four bullseyes on my part (how many frank got is not relevant, moving on), Frank suggested we go back inside.

“It’s early,” he said, rubbing his eyes and letting out a yawn. He started walking down towards the fifth cohort’s barracks, so I followed. “We should get back. Jason’s funeral is later, and you’ve barely been to sleep.”

“How did you know?”

Frank scratched the back of his neck and smiled awkwardly.

“Well, you made a bit of a racket when you were leaving the barracks. What with the whole…falling and throwing books and stuff…”

Yup. The ground was more than welcome to swallow me now. I stuffed my hands in my pockets as I felt my acne-riddled face turn tomato coloured for the umpteenth time that morning, and glared at the grass.

“Apologies.” I muttered. “I panicked.”

“Yeah, you seemed upset so I told the others to leave you alone. I thought maybe you wanted some peace and quiet. But you were gone for ages, so I came to find you.”

I shot him a questioning look. ‘Why?’ He read my mind. 

“It’s my job as Praetor to make sure everyone’s safe,” he explained, his chest puffing out slightly at the little self-reminder of his recently increased status. “And, it sucks. To loose people, I mean.”

I looked up at the Roman. His eyes were shimmering with tears, but he looked me in the eye anyway. He wasn’t afraid to show emotion, which was a rare trait, especially in the legion, but one I had always admired. 

“I only knew him for a few hours. Why do I feel so awful?”

“Because Jason was a great demigod. The greatest. He made an impact on everyone he talked to.” -Frank gestured around the camp- “He really made an impact here. Especially with the loser fifth cohort.”

“He-he told me to fulfil his promise. To build temples for every god in the pantheon.”

“Yeah. He could be like that. Noble, even at the worst of times. But that’s not the reason you’ve been drilling holes into the archery equipment for an a few hours straight.”

I answered with all the intelligence of someone who hadn’t slept since 1am. 

“Huh?”

“I didn’t think to check here first,” he said. “I went up to your temple.”

I got flashbacks to my toddler-esque temper tantrum.

“Ooh. Yeah…”

“Yeah.” He responded in a tone that said ‘been there, done that, got the t-shirt’. “Families are messy.” 

“I miss them.”

“That’s normal. Bitterness is normal. You aren’t being overdramatic.” 

I smiled at the confirmation. 

“Thanks. It means a lot.”

We were back at the barracks. Frank smiled at me one last time and patted me on the back, before lumbering in. I followed. 

I slept soundly the rest of the night.

…

I walked, lead-legged, up Temple Hill. The whole camp was eerily quiet. Jason’s body had been given proper honours, and the legion had been given the day off from duties. I couldn’t stand the prying eyes of 200 kids for much longer, so, even while I had only gotten four hours of sleep and was weighed down with grief, I travelled to the only place in the camp that was truly ‘mine’. 

Tired and weary, I plopped down on the seat of the sleek, white grand piano. I ran my fingers across the smooth fallboard for a solid minute of distracted silence, before lifting it to reveal the ivory keys. They were chipped and yellowed and seemingly out of place compared to the stark white of the piano itself, were inevitably out of tune. I played a short scale, opened up the lid and tightened the loose turning pins I had hit, then continued with my scales. I repeated until I was positive that every key was in perfect harmony, which took all of ten minutes.

Satisfied with the tuning, I took a deep breath and splayed my fingers out on the keyboard, and played a tune that inspired grace and felt to me like a ballerina daintily dancing on water. After a second, the fingering flowed into my memory, allowing my hands to glide elegantly across the piano while I stared over the rim and through the gaps between the temple’s pillars, and into the distance. The sky was clear and perfect blue, and the warm breeze swept gently through my hair. I remembered sitting with my mother on Delos, our shoulders touching as together, we played two parts of the same harmony. Like two streams running down a mountain, weaving around each other and sometimes intersecting to make one stronger melody. My heartbeat calmed from the stress of what was now everyday life to me. Peril, danger and death.

A jarring dissonance of notes jolted me back to unwelcome reality. I rolled my eyes glared at the pudgy young demigod beside me.

“You know, there are ways to make your presence known without scaring flocks of birds away.”

“Yeah I know,” Meg replied shrugging. “But it’s not as fun as watching you jump ten feet in the air.”

“I wasn’t scared! I knew you were beside me!”

“Uh huh,” she grunted, turning her attention to the keys and banging a few more notes without mercy.

“I just tuned those, you monster.”

Meg smirked. Then she ordered me to shift over on the bench, and practically bounced down in the middle, leaving me with one leg hanging off the side.

“Teach me that one. The one you were playing.”

I was too taken aback to argue it’s difficulty, especially for a beginner. I thought we had long since given up on the piano lessons (Meg was not very good), and even if we hadn’t, this tune was graceful and elegant - not words commonly used to describe Meg McCaffrey. But I admit, I missed playing with someone. And so we began.

“Why don’t you watch me first, try to absorb as much of the tune as possible before I teach you the left hand.”

Meg tried to hide her smile.

“Yeah. Whatever.”

Bit of a shorter chapter this time. Sorry for the long wait, I started writing out several completely different chapters and never finished them because they just weren’t good enough. Also, the point about ‘No romance’ in these chapters still stand. Frank and Apollo were written as a kid and an adult becoming good friends, NOT BOYFRIENDS. 

[mr-mr-ontheradio]

Something changed after Jan 2014. Harry changed. Jeff more in the picture. Enter Kendall still hanging by. Minimal Larry interaction. Something happened. Harry's entire look and persona changed. I always thought it was the time that Harry matured and wasn't naive or wide eyed anymore.. More closed off before cameras. Maybe Larry also had some fights, obviously like any couple. What are your thoughts about it??

ok 2014. I've been meaning to make a masterpost about this so thanks for the question.

So 2014 was the Where We Are tour, and the boys were all severely overworked and it SHOWS. Niall lost weight, Louis and Harry both look starved, and Zayn is horrifyingly skinny.

They look on the verge of passing out during this entire interview especially Harry and Zayn.

Zayn was ~rumored to be~ struggling with a drug problem and anorexia during this time, and dealing with his own range of drama but I'll keep this on Harry/Larry.

Obviously an easy explaination for the decreased Larry interaction is that they were broken up. And its very possible they are/were an on again/off again couple and 2014 could have been an "off" period but 2014 is also when

Harry got the anchor corresponding with Louis' rope (January)

Harry gets the heart (February) and Louis gets the arrow (March)

The christ-the-redeemer trip where Harry and Louis are heard kissing in the bread van and this picture is taken where they seem like theyre holding hands (May)

Harry goes to Jay's wedding (July) and holds onto the wedding bracelet all the guests had for the rest of the year, even after it broke.

Louis gets the dagger (November).

Harry sings "Night Changes" directly at Louis during both the Graham Norton Show and the Royal Variety Show (December).

There are a lot of little things/speculation in between but these are the big things I think definitely prove they were still more or less "together" throughout the year. The months we saw virtually no Larry interaction at all were from end of May to End of October, with the major exception being Harry publicly attending Louis' mom's wedding.

It kind of seems like the wedding was a big deal to management (even though I don't think the fandom saw it as proof of anything as much as they were happy to see it happen). But it kind of seems like Louis and Harry had to pay the price for this one because there was a big eleanor presence in the month or so leading up to it whereas before she was barely seen all year apart from one publicized ski trip in February before WWA kicked off. But from the 1st of June until Jay's wedding on the 20th of July, she and Louis were papped twice in paris and once in portugal, she went to 5 or so concerts, she was spotted leaving his hotel twice, she was spotted eating lunch with Louis and Lottie, Louis attended her graduation, Louis took her out for her birthday, and *drumroll please* it was announced Eleanor would be Jay's maid of honor (she was actually just a bridesmaid so they played that one up for the media).

They also brought Paige back breifly in the days leading up to and after the wedding with her posting pics of herself in Harry's clothes on instagram, them attending a party together, them going out to lunch with jeff and the mirror reporting they were dating again.

Meanwhile apart from the stunting, the fandom as a whole was FREAKING TF OUT over the video that was "leaked" at the end of May of Louis and Zayn smoking weed (coincidendally two days after the European leg of WWA had started) and we were being bombarded with articles about bad boy Louis and Zayn, and how perfect 🥰 harry 👼🏼 was 😱 totally 😵 offended 👎🏼 and 😤 against 🙅🏻‍♂️ Louis 😖 and Zayn's 👿 drug addict 🤢 ways 😒.

This wasn't the first time we saw articles about Louis and Harry no longer being friends, but this was definitely a new angle that started to separate Harry and Louis because of an actual reason and it was the beginning of Harry's image being separated from the other boys.

As far as Kendall goes, Hendall seems to have wrapped up in Februrary and then she disappeared for the rest of the year in typical Harry-stunt fashion. Nothing strange there. And when he did hang out with her Jeff was always there. Harry's most prominent "relationship" in 2014 was actually Nadine which didn't even start until December.

Jeff and Harry were definitely attatched at the hip right from the beginning of January for sure. It's not unlike Harry to be like this with new friends though, and he was the same way with Grimmy during the years before.

Jeff is a special case too becuase he's very connected in the industry so I think Harry felt safe with him and it might have comforted Harry to have someone like that he could trust looking out for him. I think Jeff was maybe helping him navigate his way around the utter PR nightmare that was his public image too. He certainly had a lot less "womanizing" stunts in 2014. Jeff might have even been talking to him about taking a break from the band, since 2014 is supposedly when Harry suggested hiatus.

As far as Harry's "look" goes he's literally been changing it every single year. 2010-2011 was baggy pants abercrombie and jack wills. 2011-2012 was the blazers and bowties and the fetus harry hair. 2013 was take me home/fratboy harry. headscarf harry was 2013-2014 until he started wearing those fedoras, then that was his look for a while as his hair grew out and he started wearing the unbuttoned shirts and took on a more hipster/rockstar aesthetic. then he started with the floral shirts and the skin tight jeans leading up to the floral suits and it went from there. Like I said it's never been weird for Harry to completely change his look in a whim. We literally have grandpa harry now.

His persona changed too but really it's not that strange considering he was entering is 20s, 2013 had been hell for him and Louis, he was so overworked that he was probably getting burnt out on the positive side of his life (making music and performing) and starting to resent the negative side of it even more.

As far as being more closed off in interviews, he was probably sick of them since they all ask the same questions and there wasn't much he could say that he hadn't already said. At this point if he'd been in a relationship with Louis for four years then he wouldn't have many anecdotes or side interests that didnt involve Louis or their private life on some level so he might not have had much to talk about. Try to avoid saying "my boyfriend" when you're talking about your life after you've been together for years and years, it's not easy. And he obviously learned the hard way that every thing he says on camera will follow him forever so I think he forced himself to stay quiet rather than risk letting something slip.

In my opinion, overall things weren't really that odd during most of 2014 until november/december when they started Four promo. They were touring most of the year so their lives were pretty out of the spotlight apart from the occasional stunting and Harry hanging out with Jeff in his free time. The changes we saw were typical of someone his position.

I think there were some power struggles behind the scenes based off their little rebellions during WWA ("i have a secret", refusing to deny larry twice when asked directly if there were rumors they wanted to clear up) and 2014 is when RBB started (though i think it was just for fun at the time). Jeff might have been encouraging Harry to stand up for himself against his management or at least teaching him that he didn't have to take everything lying down and he did actually have some leverage.

Jeff also might even have been priming him to go solo and if Louis and the boys suspected Harry was being eyeballed for a solo break out there might have been some tension and I'm sure Louis at least thought that's what was going on. But I don't think it's something they would have broken up over considering at the end of the day Louis has always been supportive of Harry.

I will say that 2015 was one crisis after another though and i think at the end of 2014 we saw that ball start rolling because all the boys looked strung out for the majority of Four promo and Harry was kind of being rebellious as far as maintaining his hetero image with comments like "not that important" and "dont knock it til you try it".

Anyways thats my thoughts on it. I am intoerested to know what you think changed though ?

[pixie-mage]

So you want to get caught up with Jack’s 2018 Ego Content before he gets back from tour?

Here’s a summary of the videos you need to watch, in a linear order, without any major spoilers as to what’s in them.

THE VIDEO THAT STARTED IT ALL

At this point, almost everybody is aware that Dr. Schneeplestien has officially returned! It started the night before the first video of the Ego-pocolypse was uploaded, when a new photo appeared on Jack’s instagram feed.

The following morning, Jack uploaded the video:

THE DOCTOR IS BACK | Gastric Bypass, Liposuction Surgery

This one is definitely worth watching all the way through, but if you want to JUST watch the important content, then you can start this video at 18:39.

The next video that you’ll want to watch is three uploads later, and the beginning of the Stories Untold series. In my opinion, this is one of my FAVORITE series that Jack has played, not just because of the Ego content hidden in the videos, but also because the game itself is just phenomenal. So I’d DEFINITELY recommend watching all four of these in their completion. But for now, here’s the FIRST video:

WATCH THIS WITH THE LIGHTS OFF | Stories Untold - Chapter 1

The intros for these videos are all distinct, and you might want to listen to them all...just in case. For this one, if you only want to watch the end clip, start at 21:52.

The video following this one is a weird one.

Barry Has A Secret

It’s a quirky game in which you’re a killer(?) who has to hide a bunch of chopped-off body parts before the police come into your apartment. You really only need to watch the end for this one. Start at 11:55.

THEY ARE LISTENING | Stories Untold - Chapter 2

Again, you’ll want to listen to Jack’s intro for this, because it might be important. Nobody’s really sure yet. The ending for this might just be related to the game and NOT an Ego thing, but....still. We’re including this whole series. If you want to see the ending clip, start at 30:20.

The second upload that day was a game called Yet Another Exhausted Day. The video doesn’t have any real Ego-related stuff but...the reoccurring theme of Sleep and Nightmares is one you should keep in the back of your mind.

The next video?

THEY’RE HERE! | Stories Untold - Chapter 3

Now, this is where things get interesting. In the game, we realize that all four episodes of this tale are connected. The game episodes are connected, the levels themselves. But it definitely carries over to the channel too, because it becomes very very clear that the videos Jack has been uploading are connected too. He and Robin have been very careful in picking games and in telling their story. The games match the story. You’ll want to remember that.

Now, again, watch the introduction for this video. If you choose to skip the rest of the video to ONLY watch the Ego clips, then just know that this particular episode deals with the concept of somebody being in a coma. You NEED to be aware of that. Again, timestamp for the final clip: 40:59. (Morse code at the end spells out “Where Am I?”

On to Episode 4 of Stories Untold.

IT WAS ALL CONNECTED! | Stories Untold - Chapter 4

Intro, again. Like before. And again, I recommend watching these all the way through. But this one - this is a real, legitimate, live-action scene, one a little more in-depth that what we saw with Schneep’s grand return. Jack and Robin have gotten very creative with their filming and editing, haven’t they? ^^ Anyway, to JUST watch the final clip, start at 45:07.

And then, in the next video, we see the returned “sleep” theme brought up again, this time with nightmares. (It’s also important to note that at some point in the day or two before this video went up, Jack posted a rather interesting photo on his Instagram feed that showed him in red lighting, wearing Chase’s shirt, with Marvin’s mask hanging in the background. (Marvin’s mask also appeared in the background of Jack’s stream the next day, as well as a regular video on the channel.)

Try To Fall Asleep!

This video is the one with the most sly easter eggs. I mean, we’re talking secret frames hidden in the static BETWEEN the frames. It’s ridiculous, and major props to Robin for doing all this. You might not catch any of it the first time you watch it. There are so many, it’s hard to link to all of them...so instead I’m going to link to my post where I already compiled all the easter eggs for the video: [That Mask Sure Looks Familiar]

The following day, one of the biggest theories we had in the JSE community was basically confirmed: The Coma Theory. I won’t go into detail, but I’ll let you draw your own conclusions from the video that “Jack” uploaded that day.

TIE - A Game About Depression

At first, the video seems fairly normal...but the further into it you get, the more it starts to feel like Jack isn’t acting like himself. References are made that make it more important to watch the whole thing from the beginning to the end, but if you’re not able to watch videos about depression I can fully respect that. To see only what NEEDS to be seen, you can go ahead and start your video at 9:52.

The video gives us a more clear picture of what’s really been going on in these videos, on the channel, during the Ego storyline. It blew people’s minds - and the reaction it got was only beaten by the next Ego-centric video that Jack uploaded, a full three days after TIE.

Dark Silence

And hoooooly shit was this a good video. While you don’t need to watch it all the way through, there IS a point in the middle that is worth noting and you SHOULD watch. It starts at 12:34 and it changes the visual mood of the rest of the video due to lighting. Good job on that one, Jack! It was so effective! ( ‘ ‘)b Starting at about 18:20 the gameplay changes, from exploring an abandoned gas station to suddenly exploring an abandoned hospital. And this is crucial. If you’re looking to bypass all gameplay, the ending clip starts at 20:35, but I’d recommend starting at the hospital segment of the game. It makes it that much more effective.

The next game...well I might not count it as Ego content, but you never know.

The next morning he uploaded Baldi’s Basics which has kind of gone viral on YouTube recently lol. But the amount of references to parents in it put a lot of theorists on edge, whether it meant anything or not.

The next (and so far, final) Ego-centric video was uploaded four days ago. It was the first upload of the day with a rather unsettling introduction, it ended on a chilling note, and the second upload was a full hour late afterwards. Needless to say people are eager to see what might happen next, but with how close Jack is to leaving for tour I’m not so sure we’ll get anything else before Thursday.

EXPLORING AN ABANDONED HOSPITAL | Exiles

This one, you’ll want to watch all the way through. You won’t want to skip anything here. But if you really ARE just trying to watch the most important parts of these videos, you should watch the introduction, then once Jack starts to play the game with his normal banter, you can skip to 14:21.

UPDATE: Jack, like the little shit he is, uploaded another video with Ego content literally two days after I finished and posted this. So...ya know. Thanks for throwing more Mentos in my Coke bottle, Jackaboy. xD

ANYWAY! The next video:

I AM SO CREEPED OUT BY THIS! | First Winter

In the aftermath of the last video, seeing the normal intro in this one was almost disturbing. Going in I already suspected First Winter would have Ego content, due to Jack’s pattern of playing horror games for Anti-based plot in recent weeks, so I wasn’t surprised by the inclusion of creepy moments. It didn’t make it any less unsettling or impressive though. I thoroughly enjoyed watching the video as a whole, so it’s worth watching it all the way through if you have the chance.

If you’re just here looking for the Ego clip that should be tacked onto the end of this one, that’s gonna be a little harder. See, there really...wasn’t one. Much like in Try To Fall Asleep, the creepy easter eggs were sprinkled between frames of the game, some of them visual and some of them audial. For ease of showing them all in one compilation, I’ll instead link you to a video post created by @redpocalypse where they put all the odd occurrences together for the community’s viewing pleasure. [Well that wasn’t in the game]

Hopefully that wasn’t too long of a post, but still thorough enough for you to follow the trail of videos and catch up. Have fun watching, and have fun theorizing!

- Pixiemage