#i had to buy on nasty steam

[clouds-of-wings]

Wow can't wait to go on LinkedIn and brag about torrenting a 2000s adventure game!

[pyramid-of-starrs]

congrats on 300+ followers🫶🏽

request: what about seongwha who's super soft spoken & the sweetest guy in front of everybody but when we're alone he's soooooo nasty and dominant it's something people never expect. "shy freak" persona

All Tied Up

Boyfriend Seonghwa x Afab reader

Summary: The universe blessed you with the best boyfriend to exist and everything is perfect but you can't help but to want more from your sweet boy

Genre: Fluff and Smut

Warnings: Dense acting Seonghwa (kinda lol), Technically trickery but you'll get it, nicknames

Smut warnings: Bondage, choking, drool, squirting, Oral sex (F receiving), mentions of losing virginity

A/N: Sorry I'm taking forever to finish this life kinda sucks :( but I only have 1 more to go for this event!

Minors dni

The amazing smell of chocolate and marshmallows along with the pleasant steam coming from the cup of hot coco in your hand started to hit your face. Both your gloved hands gripped the sides of the cups sleeve while you stood to the side for your boyfriend to finish paying for your drinks and snacks, he walked over with a bag of pastries and his own hot drink to convene with you again so you two could find an open table to sit down at in the crowded pop up cafe. You had been begging Seonghwa to take you to the temporary winter wonderland themed cafe for a few days since you thought it was cute that they had a mini ice skating area attached. He of course bought the tickets the day you asked and wanted to surprise you with a fun date over the weekend.

Once you two finally found a table that was a bit isolated in the corner you both sat down side by side and Seonghwa passed out the pastries he had bought, you couldn't make up your mind about what you wanted so he got 1 of each of the specialty baked goods, you felt bad he was always so willing to come out of pocket and buy you everything you wanted without hesitation but he always said he just enjoyed seeing you get what you deserved.

"Thank you Seonghwa! This is all too much though, you didn't have to do all this, or at least let me pay you back." you said as you sipped your hot chocolate trying not to burn your tongue.

"You know I would never ask you to pay me back my flower, just make sure you let me show you extra love later." He replied, you were offering to pay him back even though you only had lip gloss and a phone charger in your purse, but at least you offered, you knew no matter what he was going to take care of you. "Now let's enjoy the treats that we got, okay?" You nodded in agreement.

While you two were enjoying the pastries an older woman walked passed, and stopped. "What a beautiful young couple you two are." she said warmly as she smiled at you both.

Before you could thank her Seonghwa started to reply.

"Thank you but the beauty comes from her, I'm just the guy obsessed with her." Seonghwa said as he returned a smile to the woman, your face got hot from the compliment.

"Oh, a gentleman too, you two are lucky to have each other." She chuckled before continuing to walk away.

Seonghwa and you waved her goodbye and you continued to eat the last of the chocolate croissant you had, you could see Seonghwa watching you eat and then he giggled, you looked over at him. "What?"

"It's nothing you're just so cute when you eat, you even got some chocolate on your cheek." He took a napkin and gently rubbed the leftover chocolate off your face, then gave your cheek a quick peck. "You're so cold my flower, why didn't you say anything? Here take my scarf." He removed his scarf from his neck and started to wrap it around yours.

"I didn't say anything because I knew you were going to do that, now what if you get cold?" You pouted as he finished tucking the scarf securely around your neck.

"I'll have my love to keep me warm, or something lame like that." He smiled at you warmly.

"You're right that was lame." You chuckled a bit, your eyes met for a moment before you two kissed. You and Seonghwa had been dating for a few months and the relationship couldn't have been better, he was kind to you and others, your parent's loved him, your friend's loved him, he was just the best spouse. The only issue was that you two were going on 7 months of being together and he still hadn't made a move toward sex. Though not having sex with you right away fit perfectly with his gentleman persona, but you had needs, it was nice that he wasn't rushing you into anything but you started to feel like a sex crazed animal at times because every small thing he did started to turn you on, his small acts of kindness, the way he talked, how he cuddles you on the couch while you watched movies, you two hadn't even French kissed yet and every time he licked his lips you just wondered how his long tongue would feel exploring your body. Seonghwa has never even spent the night at your house, you haven't even gotten to see him shirtless yet but you had a plan, if he was too much of a gentleman to make a move then you had no other choice but to take matters into your own hands.

"Y/N? You okay? You kind of zoned out there." Seonghwa asked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah! Uh, so since it's getting late I was thinking we could watch movies at your place or mine, maybe a christmas movie marathon ?" You presented the idea to him, this was going to be phase 1 of your plan to get into Seonghwa's pants.

Seonghwa finished his hot chocolate and smiled at you. "Sure that sounds fun, it got pretty dark anyways, we can head to my apartment." He started to gather all the trash to clean the table and you two headed out.

...

You two were on your second movie, it was getting pretty late at this point which was perfect, you could now move into phase two.

You fake yawned and stretched while Seonghwa held you in his arms. "Boy it got so late so fast, I sure am tired from all the fun today." You said in a fake sleepy voice.

"Yeah I guess you're right it is late, You want to grab your stuff so I can take you home?" He asked

"It's so late I'm sure you're tired, I can sta-"

"Oh, it's no problem you only live about 20 minutes away and I'm not tired at all." He smiled at you.

"O-okay well um sure... I guess you can take me." Damn Seonghwa and his care for you, just as you were gathering your things you both got an alert on your phones.

WARNING: EXTREME SNOW STORM IN YOUR AREA PLEASE BE ADVISED TO STAY OFF ROADS

"Oh universe you beautiful being, thank you for wanting me to get laid just as bad as me." you thought to yourself. "Look Seonghwa, looks like we have to stay here." You said to him, he walked over to his window and raised his blinds to reveal a whited out snow storm swallowing the streets.

"Hm, guess your right, are you comfortable with staying he-"

"Yes!" Seonghwa looked at you a bit taken aback from your speedy reply. "I mean... yeah I would hate to put you in harm's way to take me home." You smiled trying not to be suspicious.

Seonghwa raised an eyebrow a bit as he noticed your strange behavior but he just brushed it off. "Right well I can grab you some extra clothes and a towel to shower."

"No need, I actually have some clothes in my bag." You said as you dug in your tote and pulled out some sleep clothing.

Seonghwa was wondering why you were carrying your tote instead of your normal purse and why it was so full. "You just so happened to have clothes in your bag today?" he questioned.

"Yeah, ya know, just in case I spilled something or tore my pants ice skating?" You said trying to get him not to suspect anything.

"But those are paja-"

"Anyways I'm gonna go get in the shower." You hurried to the bathroom to start the water, once inside you carefully took off your clothes and got into the shower. A few minutes passed and you heard a knock on the door. "Come in." you yelled out.

"Y/N I brought you a towel to dry off with and some lotion and an extra toothbrush, if you need anything else let me know okay?"

"Well actually I would love for you to wash my back, I can't reach it." For a moment there was silence. "D-did you hear me?" Silence again. "Seonghwa?" You asked, once you didn't get an answer you pulled the shower curtain back and saw that you were once again alone in the bathroom, the rushing water drowned out the sound of the door closing again, you heavily sighed in defeat and and finished your shower, you dried off, brushed your teeth and lathered up with your own lotion, it was vanilla cupcake scented like Seonghwa likes, he mentioned loving when you smelled like a bakery. You dropped your towel finally and pulled out your clothes from your bag, this definitely was going to seduce Seonghwa, a pair of short shorts with a white trim and a t-shirt of his he let you borrow and you never gave back and to tie it all together a blue and black lacey panty and bralette set you bought a while ago. You sprayed on your matching vanilla perfume and walked out the bathroom, you looked around and saw that Seonghwa wasn't in the living room anymore so you walked to his bedroom door and stood there. You had never even seen Seonghwa's room before now that you thought about it, you knocked and a few moments later the door opened revealing Seonghwa in his Animal crossing tee shirt and shorts.

"Y/N, you're finally done, sorry I was showering and getting something so I can sleep in the guest room, come in." You looked at him confused as you stepped in the room.

"Wait, you have a spare bathroom in here?" he chuckled at you.

"Yeah, I was going to let you use it, but you rushed to the guest one." He walked back over to grab a few things.

You watched him collect his items for a moment. "I like your pjs, they are adorable."

"Thanks, I got it as a gift from my friends." He glanced over at you. "I see we are both wearing my clothes." He giggled.

"Yeah sorry I meant to give it back but it's so cozy, If you want I could take it off." You said trying to throw a hint at him once again.

"It's fine, looks cuter on you anyways." He said as he pecked your cheek and headed for the bedroom door. "If you need anything just let me know okay? Goodnight Y/N."

"Wait! You know you don't have to sleep in the other room you could always... sleep with me, I would hate to put you out."

"It's no big deal, if it wasn't for this storm you'd be home in your bed alone, so it's the least I can do, night." and just like that he was gone, damn his gentleman ways.

...

You laid in his bed, alone, wishing he was next to you, holding the blanket, imagining being wrapped up in his arms while he kissed you softly, you wanted to feel him being so needy for you he is rutting his hard cock on your ass. The smell of his cologne on the sheets made the pit in your stomach hot, you slowly slid your hands between your thighs, you brushed past your heat, you needed his touch, you yearned for it. You wanted to know how he breathed while he made love to you, you imagined he was a gentle lover, slow and easy sex came to mind when you thought of Seonghwa, he was probably very closed off and vanilla and you would be lying if you said you didn't want to corrupt your sweet boyfriend. Then the thought that maybe he was inexperienced or scared, was he a virgin? You needed to know, you needed to find out and you were tired of being coy about it. You sprung out of Seonghwa's bed and headed to the guest room, you didn't even knock, you just entered, Seonghwa was in bed scrolling on his phone before he looked up to see you standing in the doorway.

"Y/n? Everything okay? Did you need something?" He asked as he put his phone down and sat up.

You didn't say a word, you got up and walked up to the edge of the bed, your thoughts were running rampant and you needed him more than ever.

"Y/N? Do you want something?" Seonghwa asked with a touch of concern in his voice.

"I want you Hwa..." You said as you got on to the bed, you crawled up the length of his blanketed body, he scooted back until his back was against the headboard, you stopped to sit on his legs. "If you're scared or never experienced this before it's okay, I can help you, I can teach you everything you need to know."

"Y-you will?" He said nervously, you nodded your head. "Is that why you've been acting weird, you wanted to... do that with me?"

You nodded again. "Only if you're ready."

"I am!" He nodded frantically. "Can we go back to my room?" you sat on the side to let him get up and he led you back to his room, it was cute honestly, he pulled you down onto the bed and got on top of you. Your eyes met before he placed his lips onto yours, kissing Seonghwa always gave you butterflies but this felt hot and passionate.

"I can touch and do whatever I want right?" He asked sweetly.

"Of course you can." You cupped his cheek. "Touch me as much as you want, you have my full permission, and we can go as slow as you need and I'll even help you." You wanted to be as helpful as possible, you didn't want him to feel like he was going in blindly.

"Really?" you nodded. "Okay well close your eyes and lift your arms" you raised your eyebrows in confusion but maybe he had something he had seen somewhere that he wanted to try, you obliged and lifted your arms and closed your eyes.

You couldn't see it but a devious smile was plastered on Seonghwa's face. "You know Y/N you really shocked me being so forward tonight." you could hear his night stand opening but chose to ignore it, that is until you feel a soft cotton tightening around both of your wrists. You got confused and tried to put your arms down but realized you couldn't, you tried again and your eyes shot open with Seonghwa laughing. You looked up to see black cotton cuffs bonding you to the bed, you looked back at Seonghwa confused.

"Aw look at the cute poor little confused look on your face, I almost feel bad for playing with you my flower." Seonghwa said as he sat on his knees in front of you.

"What do you mean playing with me? What are these cuffs?" You questioned.

He chuckled at your confusion again. "Sweetheart you didn't really believe I was some scared little virgin did you?"

"Well... yeah."

"How sweet, but sorry to break it to you, I'm not, but damn was it sexy to see you so willing to teach me how to fuck you properly, kinda wish I would have went along with it, but I could never lie to you."

"Wait then why have you never made a move on me? Even tonight when I was dropping hints you wouldn't budge."

Seonghwa sighed a bit. "Well, I try to stay true to being the proper gentleman I am, however the way I have sex... the things I like are everything but gentle. I know it can scare some women away and I really like you Y/N, so I figured I'd suppress my urges and very slowly reel you in after sometime but my naughty little flower just couldn't wait." He said as he pinched your nose playfully. "But with your full permission of course I'd love to show you somethings I like."

You could feel your core jumping with excitement at his question. "Yes, please show me Seonghwa." you said in a very needy voice.

He smiled at you. "Already so needy for me, let's get started.

...

2 thin pieces of rope were behind each of your knees to bind you to the bed along with your hands, your legs were nice and spread open while your bare pussy was on display for Seonghwa. He stood on his knees between your legs on the bed, all his clothes removed except his boxer briefs that left very little to the imagination, you averted your eyes to avoid his lustful eye contact. You jolted at the feeling of his fingers rubbing your wet core, whimpering softly every time he would lightly brush your needy nub.

"You're already so wet, you really were excited to teach me how to fuck you huh baby?" You said in a teasing tone, his two fingers started to slowly rub "O's" on your clit and you bit your lip to avoid moaning, he grabbed your chin to make you face him. "Y/N it's not nice to hold back, let me see and hear you while I make a mess of your pretty pussy." He let go of your chin then removed his fingers from your clit, he slid them into your while his thumb on his other hand rubbed your clit, you moaned while watching his slowly glide his digits in and out on you, the slow motion driving you crazy because you wanted more, he saw the lust in your greedy eyes and smiled. "My precious little flower, you look like you want to say something, what's wrong?" Again he was taunting you, he knew what you wanted, but he wanted to hear you beg more than anything.

"Please... faster." you couldn't handle getting your sentence out and before you could ask you started to rock your hips, grinding down on his fingers, not being able to do much with your legs being restrained. The burning urge to cum got worse as he started to move his fingers in and out while curling them up to stimulate your spot, louder moans fell from your lips.

"My little flower, please don't be rude, answer me with complete sentences only." His thumb started to flick your clit faster, your head dropped back at the teasing stimulation, you wouldn't be able to cum with him going so slow but it felt amazing, you just needed more.

"Please~ fuck me with ngh~ your fingers faster." you managed to say, Seonghwa didn't hesitate to drive his digits into you at a faster rate, he made sure to keep curling his fingers upward to keep tapping your gummy spot, your moans got louder the faster he went, you wanted to close your legs around his arm but again you couldn't, you just had to take it. The loud and obscene squelching noises and moans mixed with his groans could kill a nun, you felt your climax coming as the feeling in your stomach started to come. He never stopped flicking your clit and with his fingers so deep and beating your spot you had no choice but to have an intense orgasm all over him and his bed, perhaps too intense as you felt warm liquid on your legs, you looked down to see yourself erupting like a volcano. Embarrassment quickly filled your body as you never experienced squirting before.

"I-I'm sorry." You said, Seonghwa giggled at your embarrassment, he leaned forward to kiss you, the kiss was like a normal kiss he would usually give you, passionate and full of love, but during you noticed that his fingers started to move inside of you again, your moans being swallowed by him, you wanted to plead for him to stop but the feeling of being so sensitive due to over stimulation felt amazing, your hips once again started to buck up. He pulled back from the kiss and you immediately started to whimper.

"My sweet flower are you already coming undone for me? I still haven't even gotten to taste you yet." Your brain froze hearing the word taste as you knew exactly what was coming next, Seonghwa laid down in sniper position, his face inches away from your cunt. He kept his fingers inside while he attached his lips to your bulb, you yelled a string of curse words, your fingers and toes wiggled as your eyes rolled back, you wanted to push his head away, grip something, wrap your legs around his head, anything but again you just had to endure the overwhelming feeling.

"You're just as sweet as I imagined my love, I could spend the rest of my life drinking from you." He continued to finger you while his long tongue that you would day dream about for what seemed like hours lapped circles around your clit and occasionally licked stripes along your pussy. You were gasping as your second orgasm started to build up, Seonghwa's fingers never stopped, he started to leave kisses on your clit. "Can you cum for me one more time? I need to taste how sweet you are when you cum." Your legs started to quiver as he sped up the pace of his fingers, you started to see stars as you squirted again, you felt panic rush through you as you didn't want to squirt on his face but when you looked down you saw and felt Seonghwa drinking from you like you were a water fountain. Once you finally started to come down Seonghwa pulled his face out of your already fucked out pussy, your slick dripping from his chin as it covered his face from his nose down. Seonghwa wiped his face then freed you from your binds. As soon as you were free you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, a thank you for two of the best orgasms of your life.

His hands traveled up your body to finally remove the remainder of your clothing. "On all fours for me beautiful." Without question you turned around with your ass in the air, once again putting yourself on full display for him. "Can you put your arms back here for me?" He asked, you were curious about his next move but still obeyed. You laid your face on the pillow and put your arms behind you Seonghwa grabbed on and placed the cuff back on your wrist, this time he cuffed each of your hands to your ankles. He reached for the night stand again to get a condom and slide it down his shaft, you could feel his large hands grip your hips and put you in place, your back naturally arched as you prepared yourself for him. "Are you ready my love?" He asked.

"Yes, I need you so bad Seonghwa." You were eager to finally know how it felt to be one with him, he pumped himself a few times then placed his tip at your entrance, he slowly started to enter you, pulling back out then back in to feed you his length. It didn't take much for you to start to moan out for him to give you more of him, instead he went slow, he wanted you to feel every inch of him, enjoy every second of him fucking you until your mind broke. After a few moments he finally bottomed out inside of you, you had always seen prints of Seonghwa's dick through his sweatpants but you never truly knew he was this long, he reached the very back of your pussy with ease as your pussy started to squeeze him rapidly.

"You're squeezing me so tight baby fuck, I love how this pussy feels." He started to roll his hips while he was stationed deep inside of you, you could feel his dick in the pit of your stomach and with the position you were stuck in it felt like he was digging even deeper inside of you. Seonghwa finally pulled half way out then back in as he started to fuck his long dick into your pussy, the long awaited need to feel him inside you was over and it felt amazing. This wasn't what you expected but Seonghwa far exceeded expectations, he knew exactly how to fuck you like he had experience with your pussy exactly, he made sure not to pound into you but kept a fast and consistent speed, you couldn't think straight as you became cock drunk off of him. You had your cheek on the pillow as your eyes rolled back and you moaned loudly for him.

"Please don't stop, you feel so good Seonghwa." You gasped out, he was fucking you so good you could feel the drool leave your mouth and couldn't do anything about it. Seonghwa kept up his pace then the sound of Velcro ripping filled the room as he undid one of your cuffs then the other, you thought he was going to change positions but instead he grabbed you by your throat and lifted you off the bed, he kept his pace as his dick went even deeper inside of you, he attached his lips to your ear. "You're taking me so well baby." He said as he sped up, you whined in return. "My cute little flower all fucked out the first time taking my dick, poor thing." Him teasing you only added to your orgasm you could feel the pit in your stomach returning, he turned your head to the side as his hand squeezed your throat tighter, he placed his lips on yours, his tongue started to explore your mouth, the kiss was hot and wet, you couldn't hold yourself together anymore and covered his dick in your cum, only a few more pumps and Seonghwa released into the condom. Your body went limp in his hands as he laid you down on the bed gently.

You were shaking, your mouth covered with spit while your pussy was still pulsing, all you could do was breathe heavily, you didn't even notice Seonghwa left the room until he came back with something in his hand. He sat back on the bed and adjusted your legs for you to help clean you up, he then wiped the spit from your mouth and opened a bottle of water and put it to your lips. "Here drink." he slowly poured the cold water into your mouth as you sipped slowly like a baby kitten.

"Thank you." You said then sat up, just now realizing the bed was soaked. "I'm sorry about your bed..." You said still feeling a bit embarrassed. "I've never did... that before."

"You're being so shy for a girl that was offering to pop my cherry a while ago." He laughed while he finished the bottle of water he had and you nudged his shoulder.

"That's because I thought you were a scary little virgin or something, I didn't think you'd be some kind of sex wizard."

He nearly choked on his water laughing. "Not sure what a sex wizard is but I appreciate any compliment coming from you." He said as he leaned in to kiss your lips. "How about we freshen up and go to sleep in the guest room tonight?" You nodded your head, You and Seonghwa got cleaned up and then went to the other room, it felt nice to be cuddled up with him like this.

"So... did you like it?" he asked.

"I loved it." you quickly answered.

"Most of the women I've slept with don't contact me again after we have sex."

"Well 1 I'm your girlfriend 2 you'll probably have to get me to stop asking you for sex now."

He chuckled at you, then kissed your forehead. "Goodnight Y/N, I love you."

"Goodnight Seonghwa, I love you too!"

A peaceful silence filled the room.

"Can we fuck again in the morning?"

[billskeis]

pls create clingy tom fluffs

ᡣ𐭩 clingy tom while sick

it was two in the afternoon, you lay in bed. you put down your phone in hopes that the throbbing headache you’ve had since last night went away. you caught a cold most likely from staying out clubbing, maybe you shouldn’t have taken that stranger’s drink.

asswipe, you thought, who goes to the club sick?

“baby?? you awake? i’m back!��� you hear a shout from afar with the noises of a door shutting and the rustling of plastic bags. with the shuffling of shoes assumingely being taken off, your boyfriend enters your bedroom of your parents house. they’re out on vacation and agreed to let tom stay in the meanwhile.

his face immediately drops when he sees you in your state. tissues everywhere, eye bags accompanied your face, your nose was suuuper red, which was really embarrassing but tom thought that was cute.

sweating, many blankets lay top of you as this was his way of making you feel better by letting you ‘sweat it out.’

“oh schatzi look at you, and you insisted we go out today!” he sets down the bags gently near the foot of your bed, sitting down on the mattress that dips with his weight, “tom! it’s okay! we can still go out just let me take a hot steaming shower and get ready quickly—i wanna go see that movie,” he shakes his head at you and pushes you back down to lie down as you attempt to get up.

he ruffles the head on top of your head, “as much as i love you and i wish we can go out, you’re in no state to..” he lays his head on your legs, the plush blanket cushioning him even further. “but tom—“ “no baby! i’m not letting you get up until you’re one hundred percent better, yeah?” he now grabs one of your hands to play with your fingers, admiring how they look.

you scoff, he’s being awfully stubborn for someone who can’t seem to not touch you.

“tom! get up please! i don’t want you getting sick,” “i’m not moving, your lap is comfortable.. i thought you weren’t even sick,” he snorts. rolling your eyes, you sniffle, feeling your nose becoming runny, you reach to grab a tissue to blow your nose.

“don’t get up. i’ll do it,” he gets up as fast as his body lets him and grabs a tissue from the box on your bedside table. holding the tissue up to your nose, you blow, he pinches the tissue to catch all that came out. “better?” he asks, you nod obligingly.

that was pretty nasty but oh well whatever floats his boat i guess.

he then bends down to grab something from the bag, opening the lid, he shakes a pill into his hand. “take this, i know you don’t like these but i at least got the strawberry flavour you liked,” you pouted, staring at him.

ingesting the pill, he quickly holds the glass of water to your mouth to drink it. knowing that pills are particularly hard for you to take, he knows that by drinking water after conditions your body to take it in easier.

the pill was sweet, yet the flavour that lingered on your tongue was only for a second being washed by the water.

he kisses the side of your cheek, “good job pretty,” tom began taking of his sweater and swiftly entered the bed to cuddle beside you. “um hello? do you not remember what current state i’m in?” moving your head a bit, his arm snakes under the side of your neck to hold you closer to him, “relax i’m not going to get sick, you baby, just let me hold you.”

“wow cannot get enough of me huh, after the way you were dancing with me last night?” “you were super hot that night couldn’t help my self, plus, i’m only doing this because you’re weak and cute,” you scoff, is he serious? “yeah right.”

he laughs at you and just kisses your forehead, you then peak down to look at the many things he bought from his little trip. they were all your favourite snacks. medicines, tea bags, oh, and more medicine.

on a side note, being the twin who was basically immune and had to always take care of fragile bill, he has a known habit to panic and instead of asking for help, his stubborn ass buys everything in the store, gambling on which medicine to take and hoping for the best.

luckily for you, he had bill to teach him properly which ones to buy, but habits never die do they?

now you weren’t hungry or feeling snackish, so you just lay with tom, nuzzling your head into his chest. he’s warm, warm and comfortable, and you’re so grateful to have someone like him.

kissing the top of your forehead, he switches on your TV to put on a show the two of you both like. “i’m feeling better already,” “i’m glad baby, you’ll be back to shape in no time, well, because of me of course!”

that whole day, tom would not leave your side. even when you had to go to the bathroom. he’d sit inside the room until you finished and would wash your hands for you.

he says that the joint effort of doing it with you gets rid of the germs better.

this was just his excuse to keep touching you in some sort of way.

you enter the room with a bucket of cold water and a towel. setting it down, you soak the towel into the basin and ring out any excess. folding the towel to fit, you place the now cold compress onto tom’s forehead who’s laying in your bed.

“i told you, silly, that you’d get sick.” you shake your head in disapproval to see tom frown. he looks up at you even though it’s hard for him to keep his eyes open. now we did say tom barely ever gets sick, but once in a blue moon when he does, hits him HARD.

“what can i say? i can never get enough of you, need to be with you all the time,” “you’re corny,” “and you love it.”

[jaehyunsprincesspeach]

Hello! Just read I’ll always be for the 6th time. It has a special place on my heart. Thank you for writing these

Also, I saw that your requests are opened. Can you pls write yn with low self steam and not sure if Jaehyun will love her? Only if you’re comfortable with this subject of course

okay so this has taken me so long because i heavily relate to this, and i wanted it to be good for you

I hope you enjoy it!!

warnings: insecurities, thoughts of not being good enough, mentions of hate comments, mentions of negative thoughts

xoxo ~ lunar

Nobody Else For Me

life is a movie… most of the time… but even movies aren’t perfect, just like everything else in life. you and jaehyun have been dating for six months, and its been a dream come true for both of them. for jaehyun, it was love at first sight… the second he saw you, he knew he needed to have you… he’s the perfect gentleman… he refuses to let you touch any sort of door handle, buys you little random gifts that make him think of you, sending goofy pictures and videos when he’s away, calls and texts as often as he can, genuinely making all the time that he can for you. despite his busy schedule, he’s always there for you.

for you, you couldn’t have asked for a better relationship… you’re living a romance movie… nobody has ever made you feel as loved and cherished as jaehyun does. but even the movies have their lows. for you and jaehyun, it happens to be his career. he’s an idol… a star… he’s got the world looking at everything that he does, which is why you two keep your relationship away from the media… the only people who know are the people that the two of you trust the most. despite the extra precautions you two took, the world discovered your relationship after you were seen getting out of the car after a date night in, giving him a quick kiss before leaving for the night. when you woke up in the morning, your phone was blowing up with new followers, people commenting on your pictures, and sending you direct messages. despite some of the fans giving you love and praising you for making jaehyun happy, the amount of hate that filtered into your social media was overwhelming. negative comments about insecurities that already brew in your mind are brought to light as you look through the flood of comments on your pictures…

jaehyun was already at schedules when the pictures hit the media, and he didn’t know about the sudden spotlight that was now on your relationship. he wasn’t near his phone and he didn’t see the messages you had been sending him “jae… they found out…”, “why are people so mean?”, “please tell me what they’re saying isn’t true…”

knowing he was at schedules, you were left alone with your thoughts brewing in your mind, growing more and more negative as the minutes pass… one of the first things that you talked about with jaehyun when you started dating was your insecurities… he knows all about them, and he makes an extra effort to make sure that you don’t believe your insecurities, but right now, there’s nothing that could get you out of the negative thoughts that are consuming your mind.

as you sit in your room hiding away from the world, you turn off your phone to get away from the flood of negativity, hiding your phone in your closet, missing the messages that jaehyun finally sends…

“y/n, where are you?”, “baby please tell me you’re okay?”, “y/n, i’m coming over, i need to know you’re okay…”, “its not true… none of its true… you’re perfect in every way and you’re mine… im not letting go of you…”, “im on my way baby, please be okay, i need you…”

jaehyun sits in the car as his manager drives him to your apartment as fast as he can. jaehyun sits in the back seat panicking at the fact that you haven’t answered any of his messages. he reads all of the nasty things that people are posting and saying about you and his blood boils… he wants to do something… to say something to the fans… but right now, his biggest priority is making sure you are okay. he knows how your mind works, and how your insecurities are eating away at your mind right now, and all he cares about is making sure you see how much he loves you and wants to be with you.

as soon as he gets to your apartment, he bolts out of the car, not even letting his manager put it in park, and sprints to your door knocking desperately to get you to answer

“y/n! it’s jae! please i know you’re there!”

as you lay in bed, now crying from the overwhelming thoughts, you hear his knocking and his desperate voice from your door… you quietly get up and unlock the door for him and he bursts into the apartment, immediately wrapping you into a protective embrace.

“y/n! thank goodness! you… i… i was so scared… you weren’t answering my messages…”

he keeps you in a tight embrace, running his fingers through your silky hair, refusing to let go of you until he hears your sniffles. he pulls back only enough to look at you, and his heart breaks seeing your puffy red eyes and tear stained cheeks. you look away whispering softly

“jae… why are you with me?”

his heart shatters at the question. he gently places his hands on your cheeks, bringing your eyes back to his

“baby… none of its true… whatever they’re saying about you, its not true…”

you sniffle as tears form in your eyes again

“why are you with me? you could be with someone better… someone prettier… someone famous… why are you settling for me?”

jaehyun talks sternly but gently, trying to get his message through the negative thoughts that cloud your mind

“no. y/n dont say that. its you baby… only you… i dont want anyone but you… im not settling y/n, you’re the one my heart wants… nobody else… there’s nobody more perfect for me than you.. please baby, believe me… you’re everything to me…”

as you hear his words, tears begin falling again from your eyes… you want to believe him, but your mind keeps telling you the opposite… your insecurities of not being enough for him overwhelm you more than they ever have before, and he can see that in your eyes. before you can say anything else, he pulls you into a deep, passionate kiss, pouring his entire heart out to you through the action as he holds you tightly. his passion and love for you is undeniable as he kisses you like he’s never kissed you before… as if it would be the last time he ever gets to kiss you… he pours out his love for you, refusing to let the negative thoughts and insecurities consume you. when he finally pulls away, he gently brushes your tears away with his thumb, his touch relaxing you. he walks you to the couch in your living room and sits down, pulling you on his lap, burying his face into your hair.

“y/n, please believe me… i need you… i need you by my side… you’re the only one for me… the only one i want… please, don’t let the negative thoughts in… come back to me…”

he can see in your eyes that your mind is clouded with negativity, as he pleads for you to come back to him… come back from the negativity in your mind… after a few minutes you look at him again, looking deep into his eyes, as if you’re searching for the truth in his eyes, and you’re met with unconditional love and need for you, just from the look in his eyes. you gently press your forehead against his, your silent way of telling him you believe him and you trust him. his hand gently trails from your back into your hair as he holds your head to his, basking in the gentle, intimate moment between the two of you before he whispers softly.

“i love you y/n. please, please stay with me… there’s nobody else for me… only you…”

you silently nod your head against his, putting all of your trust in him, as the negative thoughts slowly fade away. he holds you tightly until all that is left in your mind is thoughts of him and his love for you, refusing to let go of you until he knows that the negativity has left your mind. he keeps you as close as he can, running his fingers through your hair, whispering sweet nothings in your ear, tracing little circles on your back with his fingers, doing anything and everything he can to relax you and your thoughts.

“you’re it for me y/n… im not letting go of you… not now, not ever… i love you, so much.”

as he dries your tears you look into his eyes. the sparkle of love you always have when you look at him is no longer clouded with negativity as you look deep into him.

“i love you too jae…”

[itstheghostofmypast]

MOOT GAME: " make up a trope for your moots and their biases. doesn’t need to be romantic. can be crackfic/funny/anything you want ^ㅇ(๑>◡<๑)ㅇ^ "

Okay- so, first of all, thank you so much Anon, for this ask and I'm sorry I responded to late, but I had to take my time with this one.😭💖.

So here it goes, (i know i said i'd do two biases, im sorry guys, i love yall too much and i get too invested the word count was killing me)

1) @edenesth

Park Seonghwa- Rivals to Lovers

Here me out, he owns an old book shop across the street, he's been there longer than you too. This was his turf, his town, his people, people who loved to read in his cozy library, with its olden print books, worn out pages, read through by generations of the same family.

All was great until one spring she shows up, with her whole pastel plus minimalistic vibes, all with the cutesy trinkets and plants, with warm lights- he noticed some books too, but they were only for show- in conclusion it was a horrid place.

A horrid place where most teens would go to after school now, no longer going to his bookshop, where they'd gossip, read novels or mangas, or even look at pretty pictured magazines (the safe kind, mind you he kept nothing nasty). What's worse was that the older folk began to go there, too! Especially because of how nice she was to them, so polite and so pretty and - ANNOYING.

He even went to 'inspect' the place, with a sour mood and an ill intention, though he was greeted with a burst of sweet aroma, one that had his stomach growling and his inner foodie, begging him to pick at least one of the many pastries or have a cup of steaming, delicious coffee. What came next was worst, her, with her gentle smile and angelic features.

"Hello! Welcome to Spring Avenue, how may we help you today?"

"You're taking my traffic."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand."

"Of course you don't."

With that he had walked out, starting a cold war, between the two. Ironically, she was a pacifist, never a fighter, but boy, did he piss her off, he knew all those buttons that would have her steaming like a hot latte.

The war had begun;

It all began when he put a " 10% off sign on Mangas, Fashion Magazines and Manhwas" that took a god chunk of her traffic.

In retaliation, she launched a "Friendship campaign, any customer that brings a friend gets a cake slice free."

Spend 2 hours reading here and leave with a borrowed book/novel of your choice."

"Buy a coffee and get a cookie free."

This continued throughout the season, so did their rivalry, to an extent that led their divided customers sense the tension. And like usual, highschoolers are escapists and this little feud of Seonghwa and her's was a problem they'd like to avoid, from her cafe they could see their beloved bookshop owner Seonghwa scowl at them, and if they were leaving the bookshop, the kids could feel the uneasiness in her smile that she give them once they'd pass her by.

"Congratulations, you're in loss." She sighed, closing the file, earning a scowl from the cafe owner, "Hey, I'm just here to check your bills, loss, and profit stuff, don't shoot the messenger."

"Alexia, come on." She whined, this was her dream, she'd put in her life's savings for this, "What should I do, Lexi?"

"Gosh, maybe not give out stupid discounts four times in a month?" Alexia sighed, rubbing her face, leaning back to stare at the bookshop across the street, "San said he knows the owner, maybe you guys could do a collab, instead of trying to each other's traffic."

"Who's San?" She asked her best friend, slash account manager and Public Relations officer- wait, was she dating!?

"Oh- uh- hey would you look at the time?" Alexia got up, grabbing her disposable coffee cup and bag, "Tell you what, you ask the bookshop owner dude about this? Okay? I'll get back with the details on Monday!" She called out as she walked towards the door, ignoring the cafe owner's questions about this San, "BYE LOVE YOU!"

That's how she found herself standing Infront of his bookshop that evening, still debating if she should go in or not? Was this idea even worth it, the guy was rude, annoying, stupid, incredibly handsome and sweet with kids and- the hell.

"Can I help you?" His deep voice came out of no where

She almost jumped out of her skin, only to turn around and spot the man she had been hating for the past ten months, standing there in all his angleic glory, with that ugly sweater and that overly comfortable scarf, not to mention his hair, his undercut had grown, quiet well too, perhaps he really was blessed with good genes.

"I uh..." she trailed off, pouting to herself, thinking of how he'd react, maybe he would make fun of her, or insult her or even go as far as to tell the town about her poor business management skills.

"Are you still open?" his question had caught her off guard, staring at him quietly wanting to see if this was a trick, only it wasn't, for when she nodded, he had looked around and then asked if he could...get a cup of coffee from there.

Of course she had said yes, why on earth would she say no to a customer, she needed the business. Unfortunately, that one cup of coffee, turned into two, then three, well- not as unfortunate as she would like it to be.

The two, mind you, who still didnt like each other, began to learn a lot about each other. He learnt how she was genuinely a sweet, caring and gentle person, her persona was indeed not fake but very real, this is who she was. She on the other hand, learned that he had inherited this business from his family, and he was an avid reader- sort a geek, a cute geek, a cute geek that could eat a whole chocolate cake with three mugs off coffee like it was nothing.

It wasn't until the third week of him visiting her cafe, that when he had stepped out to go there, he had bumped into her. She had almost fallen, but he was quick, gripping her wrist and pulling her into his chest, only to laugh when she mumbled an excuse, though he was glad she couldn't hear how his heart was hammering against his chest, wanting to stuff itself in the breast pocket of her coat.

That day she had asked him if she could check out his book shop, because she had been looking for old English bakery recipes and she couldn't find it anywhere, not any store around or online. Of course he had taken her to the right isle, in the right section in no time, this bookshop was his life and collecting and sifting through books was his passion, that day he had seen her passion, she had sat there, on the floor the entire night, reading book after book, mumbling to herself as she noted down recipes. He had sat next to her, helping her jot down notes, bringing her coffee- well not as good as hers, but good enough. At one point he had even ordered them a late night snack, well snacks, because he's a growing boy. He had closed the shop with the two inside, even pulled out a blanket and some cushions from the lounging area so she could comfortably work- she was a passionate girl and ironically he had realised something that night, only it turned into a full blown epiphany in the morning.

Next morning she had woken up right next to him, her head on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around her as the blanket was draped over the two, they had fallen asleep while reading- oh my, he really was pretty up close.

Though the two pretended nothing had happened, nothing had changed, however, everyone around them had noticed, the highschoolers would giggle when he'd come to her cafe for a cup of coffee, or how the older folk would pat him on the back when she'd step into the bookshop calling him out for help, with her little, "Hwa?"

Neither really knew how it happened, but one night while closing up he had waited outside for her, telling her he'd drop her home, even though she lived close by. Slowly this had become part of their routine, he'd often talk about the latest manga or an issue to the Star Wars comics or whatever on earth he'd talk about, but she'd always listen. Always smile and laugh at his jokes, while he'd readily accept any test recipes she'd try, telling her that his stomach was like a blackhole.

But when do the two get together? Simple, on New Years Eve, when he had to close his shop but she had decided to leave her cafe open, wanting to cater to all those who were celebrating the arrival of the new year with their loved ones, she knew Seonghwa had to go home anyway and she didn't want to spend the night alone since her family was out of town. What she did not expect was a few minutes before the strike of midnight, the cafe door chimed open as she turned to greet the customer, only to freeze at the sight before her- Seonghwa entering with a bouqet of origami flowers, smiling at her as he slowly walked to her;

"I- I know you don't like plucking flowers or bouqets, so I made you these."

"You...made these?"

"Ofcourse."

"W-why?"

"I...because I..." but before he could finish his sentence his ears picked up the count down, causing him to quickly place the flowers on the counter and as soon as the fireworks rang in her ears, it was as if she could feel the burning warmth in her body, taking a second to process how his lips were on hers, his hands cupping her face as her hands instinctively went up to grip his coat, pulling him even closer. Who knew that one day she'll end up opening a cafe that also served as a bookstore, who knew that one day, her little, evil, handsome rival bookseller, would be the New Year's kiss she never knew she needed, the man she never knew she needed, the lover that she was blessed to have.

2) @yessa-vie

Jeong Yunho- Neighbors to Lovers

No, she was not the new tenant, he was, and for some ungodly reason he was also extremely ill-prepared to live alone. Like any other weekend, she was leaving her apartment to go to the cafe to sit in peace and finish her novel, but God had other plans. She had opened the door to come face to face with a tall, good-looking man, though the smile he wore scared her- he was one of those extroverts.

No, he was not mean at all, nor was he the manipulative kind, Jeong Yunho really didn't know how the pre-installed dishwasher worked, that's why he had come to her that fateful weekend, about to knock on the door but she had beat him to it, opening the door before he could, earning a sheepish smile in return- who knew his neighbour would be so gorgeous, who knew purple could look so good on someone?

"Hey, I- I moved in across the hall, apartment 19, lol, I guess we're neighbours, huh?"

She had only nodded meekly at his question, pulling her satchel closer to her person, not because she didn't like him, no, but because she wasn't much of a talker anymore, not so confident either and also- because regardless of how good looking this stranger was, he was still a stranger.

"I'm Yunho- Sorry to bother you, I know you must be going somewhere, but I- I uh- I wanted to know if you know how to operate the dishwasher?"

That's how she found herself in his apartment, leaving the maindoor wide open, so she could escape if something were to happen, but to her surprise he was just a regular idiot, one who thought the dishwasher was a rack used to dry the dishes- men.

That night Yunho met an angel, one who seemingly had her life planned out, held together well, while he was still trying to build something out of his- data analyst or not, living alone was not the easiest thing to do, yet, she seemed so nonchalant about it.

Overtime however, she noticed how he would come over to ask her for help often, sometimes it was the 'fridge isn't working right' other times it was the 'how much water do you add to rice while boiling it?' Honestly, she would've told him to piss off if it were anyone else, but it was her polite neighbour, her sweet polite, new neighbour who would pass her by in the corridor every morning, smiling at her and wishing her a good morning- even if she wasn't a morning person.

Ironically, he continued to ensure they cross paths, only because he wanted to get to know her, to talk to her, he really needed a friend, and since moving here meant Mingi and him could no longer hang out 24/7, he really needed another person to talk to, someone who was not Hongjoong from the finance department.

Ironically, she did not protest or tell him to get lost, instead she's quietly help him whenever he'd approach her, giving him a shy smile then going back to her apartment. That purple door tempting him to go back and knock on the old wood, wanting to know what Narnia like secrets she hid behind.

She let it be, truthfully, she wanted fo befriended him, but during these little adventures, she realised she had begun to neglect her book, the same book she had a deadline for, the same book she had been working on day and night, and now this puppy pops up and takes all her attention?

So what does she do? Simple, she starts to create some form of distance, leave before he'd be awake, come back home later too, also even if he did come to knock on her purple door, she wouldn't be there to answer it, so technically she wouldn't feel guilty right?

Wrong, instead God had punished her with a severe writer's block, one so bad that she had missed two of her deadlines, and according to her publisher, she was on her last chance. That's how she found herself at the very cafe where she would find solace, now on the verge of tears, staring at the laptop in pure agony, maybe this was payback for leaving him unattended and ignoring him or maybe she was never meant to be a writer.

A fresh cup of coffee was placed next to her hand, causing her to quickly pull back and look at the stranger, only her panicked eyes met a softer, more timid gaze, a gentle smile gracing her presence.

"Hey... you looked like you needed the juice." He smiled, gesturing towards the chair, as if asking for permission to sit down next to her, to which she nodded.

"I uh..." she paused. Should she even be asking him how he's been? Does she have the right to do so, or are they just neighbours- well, at this point, two strangers living across each other.

"I read your books by the way," he began, giving her a gentle smile, as he felt the way she had tensed up, honestly, initially he thought she was like that because his presence made her uncomfortable, but he soon realised it wasn't him, but she usually was this tensed all the time, this nervous and unsure, which made no sense to him because she was one of the most well functioning person he had met in the city, and he was glad to have moved in next to her, "It's great, the plotline is amazing and the details- you really captured the essence, I particularly liked the world you created, honestly, when I moved here I thought everyone wore those 'blockers' too. To not...feel stuff you know," he turned to look at her, only to catch her staring at him, a small chuckle escaping him when she cleared her throat, averting her gaze, "You were the only one who was nice enough to help me, even for the stupidest of tasks...it means a lot."

She stared at him in awe and disbelief. She had been trying to avoid him for almost a month now, couldn't he tell? Or was he just playing dumb- I mean he totally could be dumb, he didn't know a toaster comes with settings, just thought the numbers were there for the appeal.

After that the two began to "spend time together", it was strictly casual mind you, nothing personal, though he would drop by more often than usual, sometimes after work, sometimes on the weekends- to have dinner with her, he'd bring dessert, or to watch a movie with her, he'd bring the snacks- no, nothing domestic at all.

Or so they thought, because a few months in, he had come over by swinging the door open, yes he had the keys and she had his keys, only to find her standing there all dressed up.

"Where are you off to? What about movie night?"

"Oh no..." she gasped, "Yuyu, I forgot to tell you I had a date tonight." A date? Why? With whom?

"Wait, why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"Why would you go on a date when we- I mean...isn't it weird? Shouldn't you be more focused on your book, instead of this temporary romance?"

"Temporary romance?!"

"W-wait, I didn't mean it like that. It came out wrong-"

"Out."

"W-what?"

"I said get out!"

That happened a week ago, she had been avoiding him for a whole week, she had been ignoring his calls, his texts, his knocks- no he didn't barge into her apartment, it took him a great amount of time to get her to open up to him and he idiotically clowned himself. So he decided to go to the next thing, go to the official reading of her book launch.

He waited there at the back, listening to her intently, taking in each word, who knew he would ever fall in love with, her neighbour, the same girl who had helped with the dishwasher, brought him dinner at night, spent time teaching him the usual ropes of living alone- who knew the very same girl had changed the plot of the book, basing it on her life, expressing how the shy, depressed protagonist, who thought dying her hair purple would make her feel better, realised that the only thing that would make her feel better would be a companion, a tall, handsome man, with a heart of gold- it was not that she needed a man, no, she just needed a friend, and she had finally found one, the inspiration to her writer's block, the Chandler to her Monica, the- HE DIES!? 

He gasped, appalled at the way she had ended the story, where at the end, on his deathbed the man tells his beloved how she never needed him, but he needed her to function, to live through each day- bloody hell.

He waited for them to leave when he finally approached her, somewhat upset-no, he was very upset, as she stopped cleaning up to look at him, raising a questioning brow, "What?"

"I can't believe you!"

"Funny, Jeong, I should be the one saying that."

"What!? You killed me!?"

"What?"

"I come here to declare my undying love- no I come here to tell you how much you mean to me and apologise for never asking you out but getting upset when someone actually asked you out and you KILL ME IN YOUR NOVE?"

"First of all, I accept your apology, secondly, the protagonist was DEFINITELY NOT YOU, I made him up WAY BEFORE I met you."

"Oh..." he stared at her then looked around the almost empty bookshop, maybe he should just leave-

"So...Will you ask me out properly now or...'l"

"Move in with me."

"Too fast."

"Was worth a shot." He smiled when she let out a small laugh shaking her head at his antics, "Take me to dinner, Yunho." She smiled watching him lean closer then pause, as if asking for her permission,  "Can I...?" His question was answered when she gripped him by the lapels of his coat, pulling him closer to crash her lips against his, smiling when he wrapped his arms around her, pulling back only to press his forehead against hers,

"We move into my apartment..."

"What? Mine's great-"

"Yunho, have you seen the window and the balcony on mine?"

"Your apartment it is boss."

3) @jaehunnyy

Choi San- Bestfriends to Lovers

Idiots, these two were complete idiots who were utterly in love with each other but were also too blind to realise that - why? Simple, because both feared that confessing to the other may ruin the long-held, deep bond.

A bond that had developed at the ripe age of childhood, middle school, to be more accurate. The day he had come to school, bored out of his mind, staring outside the window, wondering if he could jump on the closest tree to escape this prison. What he had not expected was an angel to come and sit beside him, well technically, the teacher had made her sit next to him, and he hadn't noticed her until she poked his shoulder lighter, causing him to jerk back and gasp, earning a few chuckles from the glass as the teacher just sighed in defeat.

"Wh-Hello."

"Do you need help with that?" She asked, pointing at the math equation in front of him. He looked at his notebook and remembered that's what they were supposed to me doing- damn that was a lot of daydreaming.

"Yeah, I guess...do you... know how to solve it?" He asked the new girl, too afraid to make eyecontact.

"Here, I'll show you." Turning to face him, she pulled his scribbled notebook closer.

"I'm San by the way."

That day onwards, a nice and quiet introvert at the back of the class finally began to crack open. From time to time, you'd hear him whispering to her, talking about some anime or a film. Often, he'd be telling her about his cat, Byeol, and how pretty she was. During break you wouldn't see San next to her for the first five minutes, no, he'd be sprinting across the campus,jumping down the stairs to go to the canteen to get her something to drink with her lunch, or a sweet snack, regardless of how many times she'd say 'it's fine.' During self study hours, she wouldn't be studying, no, she'd be busy tutoring her athletically gifted friend, he was...a little dumb, but that's okay, he was hardworking and she'd tell him she'd help him where he'd get stuck, explain and tutor where needed- especially in math.

As they grew older, he grew into his body, his self-esteem issues slowly subsiding, his feelings for her deepening, yet, never enough to tip the scale, at the bring of an edge but never enough to flow out he had to keep it all under control, because that's just how San was, patient and calm, he would never take a step if there was an ounce of the doubt when it came to how she felt about him. Though watching her spread her wings into the beauty she was, well, was somewhat problematic for him. Especially when she'd come to him, smiling like that, greeting him with the gentle voice of hers, asking him if he liked her haircut.

"What do you think?"

"It's...very nice."

"Just very nice?"

"You'd look pretty to me even if you were bald."

Conversations like these would have her heart hammering against her ribcage, and she'd pray to God that he couldn't hear it. She'd pray for it when he'd be walking home side by side, his shoulder bumping into hers, or his hand brushing against hers, when he'd take her bag from her, clicking his tongue at how heavy it would be,

"You trynna' build muscles like me?" He'd ask, though he was still very fragile, he'd only started going to the gym when he noticed how the 'basketball team captain', had decided to ask her to 'help tutor him too', though she had politely declined.

"Hmm? Of course not, Advanced Math books are just big like that..."

"Why do you do this to yourself, dove?" A nickname she had gained over the time, one used only by him.

"Because I wanna teach one day, I love teaching, I want to make sure people realise subjects aren't difficult or they aren't dumb, it's just that they're not taught properly."

Yup, he was smitten, on his knees, begging for her please ( he was also an idiot).

Ended up in college with her, though in a different major, like hell the now 'mountain of a man', no longer the kitten-like fragile boy, was going to major in math- business was a way better option.

This wasn't a bad situation, though they rarely had a few classes together, she'd still make time to see him, to text him as soon as class would end, but he'd already be standing at the exit, waiting for her with a coffee in hand and a dimpled smile, reserved just for her.

In no means was Choi San an extrovert, but somehow along the line he had met one, who later claimed that his MBTI had changed to an introvert too, though he doubted that notion- Jung Wooyoung.

Boistorous, noisy, obnoxious but a genuinely nice person at heart, Wooyoung was his companion in his major's classes, he was also the first person to know about San's little secret, since San trusted him enough to know, though Wooyoung assured him he had figured it out as soon as San introduced him to her as his "bestfriend".

"You're an idiot." Wooyoung snorted, taking off his shoes as he walked into the 4th years tiny apartment.

"What? Why?"

"You really think I didn't know?"

"How did you kno-'

"You can be bestfriends with a girl since childhood, unless a) one of you confessed to the other and got friendzoned but still chose friendship or b) neither of you confessed but are secretly crushing over the other."

"Wow, should've been a psychologist instead of a business major."

"What can I say, Sannie? I am a man of many talents."

Things progressed like this for a long time, Wooyoung watched from the sidelines how the two would basically act like a couple that was not a couple- almost everyone at campus thought they were a couple and Wooyoung was basically the third wheel. Not that he minded, and San appreciated him for that, he was glad Wooyoung's relationship with his dove was platonic- borderline sibling-like.

But Choi San was a fool, one that Choi San, at the fresh age of 25 wished that perhaps he'd be able to take the next steps, but something at the back of his mind held him back, were his personal desires as important as this friendship?

Which is why he stood there watching his best friend get ready for her date, her date with Wooyoung. After a conversation he did not like, but what could he say? He was too afraid to even confess, and well, Wooyoung wasn't a bad guy, and technically, he was his friend.

"I'm gonna ask her out, Sannie." The brunnet sighed, before taking a sip of his coffee, humming at the bitterness, perhaps this bitterness was sweeter than the bitter taste that had developed in San's mouth at the statement.

"W-why?" The bigger man with the fragile heart whispered.

"Because...I like her...I'm sorry but...I gave you time, so much of it and...I just wanted you to be the first one to know...if she says no, we'll all still be friends, but if she says yes...San, I won't hold back."

That had led to her first anniversary with Wooyoung, then the second and finally a day before their third anniversary San had texted the couple how he wouldn't be able to make it to their anniversary party because he had work that day and he wished them the best.

What he did not expect was someone knocking on his door at 2 am, opening the door to find a tear stained Wooyoung, only for him to punch the taller man in the face, watching him stumble backwards then wipe his eyes and sigh, "I swear- if you weren't such a great guy, I would've stabbed you."

"What the F*CK WOOYOUNG?"

That night was the first time he had seen Wooyoung cry, cry about how when she read the message she had become a mess, one that even Wooyoung couldn't fix, begging him for forgiveness how she made a mistake, how even though she was happy with Wooyoung, her heart belonged to someone else, someone who she thought she could move on from since he never confessed, since he never liked her back the way she did, and though the text was a confirmation of that, she couldn't bear lying to Wooyoung, to give him only half the love of what he deserved, knowing he deserved someone who would teach him the true meaning of love, because she was a teacher with only one student in mind, the idiot of a man- Choi San.

That night San couldn't sleep, not a wink, he processed the words over and over again, so did she like him? Should he confess to her? Now? Wouldn't that make it awkward? Or should he wait? Would that be a mistake?

Though his questions were answered in the morning when the doorbell rang at 7 am, making the sleepy man sigh as he stumbled to the door with blurry eyes, opening it still half asleep, only the slap he received woke sobered him up quickly,

"OW- WH- WHY ARE YOU JUST LIKE WOOYOUNG!?"

"SHUT UP! DONT TAKE HIS NAME! I HURT HIM BECAUSE OF YOU!" Never in the many years of knowing her, had she raised her voice like that.

"I-"

"NO! LISTEN TO ME!" She yelled before shoving him inside so she could continue yelling inside, "I like you- and you- you d*ck you could tell him you liked me but you couldn't tell me!? All those horrible dates you watched me go to, but you couldn't stop me?! You knew you liked me yet you let Woo ask me out!?"

"I- I didn't wanna ruin what we had..."

"San, I- what if I had married Woo? Huh? Then what? When you already had half my heart, I-"

She couldn't finish her sentence though, because the next thing she knew, he was smothering her with all that pent up love, his lips pressing against hers with a ferocity she had ever seen in her gentle Sannie, wanting to claim what he was too scared to touch before.

He only pulled back when she lightly pushed him back, gasping for air, looking up at him all flushed and pink, her swollen lips just enticing him even more,

"W-what was that?" She breathed out.

"Never say you're marrying anyone but me, I would've ruined the wedding even if it meant being thrown out."

"You're an idiot Sannie."

"No, I just had a teacher who could teach me math, but couldn't teach me how to love properly - guess she was learning too."

[genaleah]

It's probably beating a dead pig at this point, but I haven't seen anybody else mention this enemy in the game.

(Under a read more for antisemitism)

This enemy type called "Mr. Pinch" can be found in one of the later levels of the game, in the slum section. He hides in the upper portion of the screen to grab the player and fling them upward. He also pulls a coin out of their back pocket.

I don't think I need to pull up the direct references images, but this guy looks like an extremely antisemitic caricature. I've also seen the same said about the merchant npc "Mr. Sticks", but I think that design is a bit less egregious.

Its just that when you have TWO character designs that look this much like antisemitic cartoons, and their gameplay behavior is about money/greed, there's absolutely no way to wave that off as an accident or fluke. And especially after seeing so many of the creator's racist, misogynistic, ableist, and transphobic comments; I'm not willing to give him the benefit of the doubt on anything.

This whole thing is a huge bummer. I don't think that this situation is quite that same as Hogwarts Legacy, most people didn't go into it knowing anything about this guy's views, and the game had just come out about a month ago. A lot of folks were having fun and enjoying the positive aspects of the game like it's animation, gameplay and music. And aside from this enemy and the racist cheese slime, there isn't much within the game itself that comes across as negative. It's also really easy to miss how bad those enemies are when you're playing, I talked to some other people who had played and none of them had noticed Mr. Pinch's stealing animation. But, once you know about them, it can sour the whole experience.

I've seen a few different reactions to this situation, some people have talked about pirating the game and modding out/replacing the nasty elements, and I've seen other people who are going to stay away from anything remotely related to this game because the entire thing gives them a bad feeling now. I think those are both totally reasonable. But I'd say the barest minimum should probably be to not financially support this game anymore. Avoid buying the soundtrack, plushies, etc, and don't buy it on Steam if you hadn't yet.

[hunzzzzz]

Tell me sweet little lies: part 2 (Kendall Roy x OFC)

TW: smut/ forced orgasm / dom Kendall / multiple orgasms / P in V sex

A/N: guys Kendall is so hot in this, I was barking writing this sorry not sorry!! Enjoy!!!

Part 1

Diane had been listening to Kendall for a week, so far she had heard a lousy hookup he had with some woman, but he failed miserably, unable to get it up. She then heard his breakdown that followed pursuit, “Pull yourself together, you are Kendall fucking Roy. Everyone wants you, anyone would be lucky to have you. It was one time, it was just too much whiskey, you’re okay, your dick could survive fucking world war 3 and still have ammo— fucking pull yourself together.”

She heard him meditating every night, organizing his schedule with his assistant on the phone, calling his dealer, nothing significant yet, nothing she could use. While she waited for her smoking gun, she moved her plan into phase 2: get closer to him.

She would have to get him vulnerable enough to talk to her, open up to her, share his endless life blunders with her.

Diane walked into his usual bar, she had ensembled an outfit acquired to his taste, something to accentuate her figure. She made it look effortless, dressed like an office siren, her ample breasts peeking out of her button down which she left the first 3 buttons open, the curve of her ass fit snug in her skirt. She strategically ripped her tights, conforming to the look of: ‘I’ve had a long day at the office, I’m just trying to blow off some steam’.

She pretended like she didn’t see him as she walked in, she found a place at the bar and sat perched on a stool. She sipped on her espresso martini, letting her skirt ride up her thighs. And surely enough like an unwrapped lollipop she drew him in like a nasty fly.

“Is this seat taken?” She glanced up at him and gestured for him to sit down.

“Sorry, do I know you?” She furrowed her brows, feigning confusion.

Kendall was taken aback by her bluntness, but a smirk found its way into his face, “By the way you were screaming my name the other night, I would think you do know me,” he said into the open air, not giving a fuck who heard.

His overconfidence burned bright, the fact that he thought she had the best sex of her life was almost laughable.

“Oh right,” Diane perched her boxy glasses up her nose, ones that she had specifically sleeved today to appear younger and more approachable. “Sorry you were just very forgettable.”

Kendall’s jaw twitched, he had never been so blatantly disrespected before, no one had ever made him feel as worthless as Diane did. He wanted to bend her over his knee and spank her straight.

“Okay, then tonight I’ll give you something you fucking remember every time you close your fucking eyes,” his eyes were darker now.

“You’re very confident in your ability to pick up a girl at the bar,” she laughed, the sound was a sweet melody.

“It’s not hard, I got you before didn’t I?” He leaned back in his chair, shrugging off his blazer, “what are you drinking I’ll get you another.”

“You think buying me a drink is gonna get me in bed with you?” Diane raised a brow, “you’re gonna have to try harder than that.”

“Oh don’t worry, baby. I’m just getting started.” He winked ushering the bartender over.

“I’ll have another espresso martini.”

“I’ll have the same,” he added.

“You’re not gonna like it,” Diane snorted, he was trying too hard, it was almost sad to watch.

“I wanna see what all the hype is about, I’m seeing it all over socials.” He shrugged.

“It’s a young people drink, you should stick to your whiskey.”

“Fuck you, I’m not that old.” He grumbled, unbuttoning the sleeves of his shirt and rolling them up. He hated how hard he had to work for this girl, getting pussy was never hard for him, he just had to flash his credit card and girls would bend over. He had gotten her the first time by dumb luck, but now she was making him chase her.

“You’re old enough to be a dad,” Diane snickered, she loved seeing the vein in his forehead pop with every remark she made.

“Old enough to be your dad?” He raised his brows, he still didn’t know how old she was, or her name for that matter. He hadn’t bothered to find out her name before, he didn’t think they'd cross paths again. But after his failed hookup he thought maybe it might be easier to recycle a body, though it was still a challenge.

“You're getting there big boy,” she clinked her glass with his and they both took a sip. Kendall immediately grimaced, the taste was bitter and unpleasant. “Told you, you wouldn’t like it.” She said matter of factly.

“Right, I’ll leave this for you brain rotted fucking uh gen fucking whatever you call yourselves,” he slid the glass over to her and ordered a whiskey on the rocks.

“We’re calling ourselves Gen Z, actually.” She traced the rim of her glass with a finger, leaning forward giving him a delicious view of her cleavage.

“Don’t fuck with me right now, how old are you actually?” He asked in all seriousness, yes the sight of her tits made him hard, but he still had to weigh out the pros and cons. “Like am I gonna be put on a watchlist now? Do I need to call my fucking lawyer?”

“Jeez calm down,” she reassured him, she couldn’t afford to scare him away, she decided to change her tactics and be less of a bitch, he clearly frightened easily. “I’m 25, I’m legal.”

“25?” He pursed his lips, he didn’t believe her. She looked younger, her attitude certainly made her sound like a spoiled 20 year old in college.

“Do you want me to show you some ID?” She joked, but was surprised when he nodded. So she had to commit and pulled out her learner’s permit and waved it in front of his face, “there, is that all the proof you need? Or do you want my birth certificate too?”

Kendall quickly snapped the ID off her, holding it out of her reach as he studied the photo, she looked a lot younger in it, her hair was shorter, was it bad that it made him even harder the thought of how succulent her younger body would have been.

“Give it back,” she struggled to snatch it off him, her heart was beating faster now, she never planned to reveal her identity to him. Even though it wasn’t a massive bump in the road, she wrote under a pseudonym, but she still didn’t want him knowing her at such a personal level.

He finally handed it back to her, and she tucked it away in her wallet with a huff. “So…. Diane,” he smirked, having learned her name now, “you still can’t drive, huh?” He grinned, he finally had the upper hand now, he now had enough information about her to laugh at her expense.

“If you must know, I can drive. I just don’t have a full license.” She folded her arms over her chest defensively.

“Uh-huh. But you still can’t drive a car without supervision.” He grinned, he was enjoying this now, “you know if you want, I can teach you.”

“Thanks for the offer,” she leaned in closer, “but I think you know first hand that I can ride just fine.” She stroked a hand up his thigh.

Kendall held her hand, stopping it from grabbing at his crotch. He cleared his throat flustered by her suggestive comment, her ability to make him hard without even touching his dick amazed him. She was obnoxious, blunt and even bratty but it turned him on all the more.

Diane pulled away from him and ordered another drink, Kendall didn’t, saying that he was done for the night.

“Scared of limp dick? I hear whisky dick is a real problem with men of ……. your age.” Diane bit her lip, poking the bear, trying to get a reaction from him. And for some reason that was the last straw for Kendall.

He was fucking her into the mattress, his hand at the back of her neck, pushing her face into the pillow, “You not gonna run your mouth anymore?” He taunted, his pace was brutal, she let him play out his sick fantasy, his need to feel dominant over someone. “Are you gonna be a good girl and behave now?”

He smacked her ass, groaning as he watched the fat jiggle, smoothing a hand over it. He flipped her over onto her back, “please,” she whined, playing the role of a fragile little girl, “please Kendall.” She cried and whimpered under him, telling him he was too big, it was too much, he was too good, whatever she needed to say to get him off.

“I’m not done with you yet,” he growled, biting her collar bone, sucking on her flesh. He thrusted back into her, harder, “you won’t be able to run that dirty little mouth of yours when I’m done with you.”

She pulled him down into a kiss, she hated how intimate it was, but she needed him to shut up if she was going to get through this. He bit her bottom lip, claiming it as his own, with a possessive hunger.

“You like that, yeah?” He grunted, throwing her legs over his shoulders, his knees slotted under her thighs, the angle was beyond anything she had experienced before, she cried out feeling him so deep inside her, it felt like his cock had entered a sacred space inside of her, one that had never been touched by anyone before, “you like that don’t you, you dirty little slut.” He held her thighs, his fingers digging into her flesh, “has anyone ever fucked you like this before?”

“No,” she gasped, honestly no one had ever been rough like this with her, the feeling was exhilarating. She had given up control for once in her life, he tossed her around like a rag doll, his hips rutting into her at an unforgivable pace.

“You need to be put back into your place, so fucking take it,” he continued, abusing her pussy. He liked watching her face scrunch up in pure bliss under him, her eyes shut, lips agape. He pulled out of her and took the opportunity to ram his member into her mouth, fucking her throat raw.

Her eyes flew open, caught off guard, she choked and gagged on him, her hands gripping his thighs, as he forced himself, deeper down her throat and released his seed, “swallow.” He pulled out of her once he had ensured she did.

He climbed off her and collapsed next to her, taking a moment to catch his breath, “fuckkk that mouth of yours,” he sighed, pulling her into him, tucking her head in the crook of his neck, “you’re not as innocent as you look.”

He sat up crisscrossed, pulling her into his lap, her legs draped over his thighs, “I think you deserve a reward,” he tried to pry her legs open.

“No, Kendall, it's fine.” She tried to push his hand away.

“What the fuck is your problem?” He fought her, managing to slide his index down her mound and through her folds, “I’m trying to do something nice for you, just fucking let me.”

“I don’t want you to,” she clawed at his wrist, trying to push him away. She had done this tango many times where men would try to touch her, and having to fake an orgasm. She knew her own body at this point, she knew he wouldn’t be able to either.

“Stop being a brat,” he growled, feeling the sharp pain as her nails drew blood.

“Stop,” she scrambled off him, he pinned her on her stomach, using his tie and bound her hands behind her back, “no please Kendall, stop. I’m serious.”

He had her splayed out on his lap, ignoring her pleas as she squirmed around on his plush thighs. He shoved her panties in her mouth, to stop her cries. Parting her legs, his thick fingers lazily stroked her clit.

He smirked, nuzzling his stubble into the side of her cheek, his lips finding their place in her ear, "that feel good?”

Diane mewed making a sound of disagreement, his middle finger trailed down to her gaping hole, pumping her slowly, her cheeks flushed as she fought it.

“Just relax,” he gripped her hip with his other hand, “just give in to it, you know you want to.” He added another finger and then a third, slowly her body eased up, “that’s it, you like that don’t you?”

Kendall loved how easily he could slip inside of her, how she was dripping down into his thigh, cunt aching, core throbbing for him. His ears perked up at the sweet sounds of her wet pussy taking his fingers in, the wet schlick sounds filling the room.

For once Diane had been forced to give up control, she could only focus on the sensation of being stretched out by his thick digits, his thumb pressing down on her pulsating swollen nub. All her senses were heightened, her cheeks flushed, looking down at his fingers making light work of her, his pace increasing, and the way he was so sweetly purring filthy words into her ear. . . she could feel a sensation start to build— a very foreign sensation, one she had never experienced before— not by anyone or even herself. She had tried touching herself multiple times but could never achieve it.

She was moaning and drooling now, his fingers picked up again, slamming deep inside of her, curling just enough. His thumb circled her clit remaining slow in contrast, creating a dizzying combination that had her clenching around him and calling out his name, muffled through the makeshift gag. Desperate for him to continue.

The feeling returned. It almost felt like she needed to pee. Her eyes rolled back as she tried to fight back the feeling, but he was rubbing her and touching her and fucking her too good for her to hold anything back.

“You’re so close, just focus, focus on me, focus on the feeling. It feels good, yeah?” She gasped, her legs quivering, back arched at a painful angle. but it was too late, before he even had the chance to slow down, she squirted. Her juices coating his hands, his fingers, dripping down along his arm and onto the sheets below.

“Oh baby. . ." he whispered shakily, "where were you hiding that from me?" She could hear the smirk in his voice clear as day as he spoke into her ear.

He took her panties out of her mouth, which were soaked with saliva, untied her hands. Her back gave out, still reeling in the aftermath of her first orgasm ever, she collapsed in his arms. He picked her up and took her to the bathroom, she wrapped her legs around his waist, her wetness smearing around the front of him. She didn’t know why she let him, but her brain was a cloud of fog at that point.

He ran the bath, setting the water temperature and lowered her down into it, “you did so good.” He soothed her, scrubbing her chest with a loofa, “how are you doing?”

“I’m fine,” Diane’s voice was raw, dry from the fabric that had been constricting it. She cleared her throat to sound more composed but it still came out brittle, “I’m fine.”

“Uh-huh,” he moved onto her back, his touch tender. He wore a proud smile, he felt like a man again, “your welcome.”

“I never asked you for it, did I?” She snapped, inching away from him.

“You didn’t have to ask, I already know you have a stuck shoved so far up your ass,” he rolled his eyes, “so yeah your fucking welcome,” he threw the loofa at her and climbed into the tub sitting behind her, “just relax, your so fucking tense,” he eased her back against his chest, leaning back against the tub.

She loosened up to his touch, “I just don’t like random men touching me.”

His hands slid down her sides, squeezing her thighs, parting them under the water, “random men who make you squirt?” His hand traveled between her legs, rubbing her, she sighed at his forbidden thigh, her eyes fluttering shut, “tell me, was that your first orgasm?”

She felt uneasy sharing that information with anyone, but he seemed to already know somehow, “yes,” she whispered her voice barely audible, his fingers continued working away at her.

“You know you try to act like such a big bad girl, but you’re just an innocent flower, just a little baby,” he chuckled, the sound rich against her neck.

She wanted to shove him away, tell him off but the words got lost in her throat, she gripped his forearms, her second orgasm approaching fast, “give me another, I know you got it in you.” His cock was hardening again, feeling her squirm around against him, he lifted her hips up and planted her down on it, the water making its slide in with ease like the lady jigsaw puzzle, “fuck I fill you up so nicely, this pussy was made for me. I need to feel you when you cum.”

“Kendall, I can’t. Please,” She gasped at the intrusion, her body felt weak, his fingers moving wonderfully and the slow thrust of his hips up into her made her shudder around him, her walls clenching around him, her head falling back onto his shoulder.

How was he doing this to her, how had he given her 2 orgasms in one night. She had boyfriends before, but no one was ever successful at pleasure, at some point Diane convinced herself that she was incapable of ever having an orgasm. She enjoyed sex, she enjoyed the feeling of penetration, but it was never enough for her to get there. Her ex boyfriend had tried to eat her out, but she was too in her head to enjoy the experience, she couldn’t turn her thoughts off. But with Kendall it was different, she could let go. Even though her biggest deal was losing control, she willingly gave control of her body to him.

“Yeah cum all over my cock, good girl.” He groaned, kissing her jaw, speeding his pace up, edging closer to his own climax, he pulled out of her and released. They sat there in the lukewarm water catching their breath.

He helped her out of the bath and gave her a towel to dry off, “you want some clothes?” He offered.

“No, I need to head,” she shook her head, rooting around for her discarded clothing, “I have work in the morning.”

Kendall stepped out of his wardrobe dressed in a fresh pair of boxers and a t-shirt, “uh yeah, yeah sure okay.” He nodded, watching her get dressed.

“Where’s my underwear?” She asked, crawling on the floor to look under the bed, giving Kendall a shameless view of her ass cheeks peeking under her skirt.

“I don’t know it’s probably somewhere around here,” he pretended to look on the bed, knowing well he had stashed them away in his closet, “I can give you a spare pair of briefs?”

“It’s okay, I’ll just go commando,” she pulled her tights over her bare pussy, driving Kendall insane. Yes they just went 2 rounds but he was ready to go for a third. She made it impossible for his dick to stay soft.

He brushed her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ears, “So Diane, when will I uh, see you again?”

“Soon,” she smirked, leaning in and pressing a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth, she brushed past him to leave.

“Wait, are you not gonna give me your number?” He grabbed her hand.

“Figure it out,” she winked, and slipped out the front door. This time she was confident that he would scope her out, she had given him her all tonight, more than she had bargained for.

And surely enough the next night she got a text from an unknown number: I found your underwear, when do you want to come and get it?

[whumpster-fire]

How to Swear Like a Steam Engine (And Other Sentient Locomotive Slang)

If there’s one thing engines enjoy doing, it’s complaining and insulting each other, and they’ve developed their own slang to do it. Phrases like “fusspot,” “cinders and ashes!” and “bossy boiler” are common in the Railway Series, but there are many other terms.

The following list of phrases and expressions are commonly used by engines on American railroads, in particular on the Jefferson Great Divide Railway in the mountain west of the US. Some may be common in Sodor and the rest of Britain as well, others are specific to America. There are other lists on the internet documenting the various IRL slang used by human employees, and a lot of that is used by engines as well, but this is specifically the slang terms that were more or less developed within the locomotive subculture.

All Smoke and No Steam: All show and no substance. A person or engine who talks a good game or puts a lot of effort into appearing to be helpful but can’t back it up. An engine that’s making a huge cloud of smoke and a lot of noise looks impressive but if what’s coming out the smokestack is all smoke and no steam it’s not actually doing any work. Can also mean empty words or promises that won’t be fulfilled in the abstract.

“He’s all smoke and no steam!” = talks a good game, is all hat and no cattle, etc.

“That rule’s all smoke and no steam” can mean a rule isn’t / won’t be enforced, or that it will be enforced but it doesn’t actually make things better and is just a way of looking like something’s being done. E.g. “The new safety regulations are all smoke and no steam, management’s still going to come down harder for being late than for safety violations.”

“Their threats are all smoke and no steam” (when referring to customers/clients/workers) = they complain loudly but they’re not actually going to do anything like stop buying tickets, or ship freight by other means, or quit, or strike.

Amtrash: Derogatory term for Amtrak and its engines, used by freight railroad engines. Amtrak is the USA’s quasi-nationalized long-distance passenger rail network. Most of the track it runs on is owned by other railroads which are freight-only, and there’s quite a bit of resentment between them. See also: Useless Pacific, Nofucks Southern, Satan Fe, All Trains Smell Funny, Borington Northern, Misery Pacific, Criminally Slow and X-pensive, Southern Pathetic, Big Nasty Stupid Fuckers. The US only had its railroads forced into a Get Along T-shirt for like three years and that was during WWI-era, so there are a lot of rivalries between different railroads there.

Ballast Plow: A large truck, especially a flatbed, that stalls at a crossing – because if it gets hit it’s likely to bend around the engine’s front and be dragged down the track instead of getting thrown aside, digging into the embankment and scattering ballast everywhere.

Buckled Rail: A buckled rail (usually happens due to thermal expansion of the track in a heatwave) is at a minimum extremely painful to run over and can often damage engines or rolling stock and derail trains. “I need that like a buckled rail!”

Cattle Cars / Cattle: Derogatory term for a passenger train / passengers, particularly unruly and annoying passengers. Engines aren’t supposed to say this within earshot of passengers (and coaches get offended too).

Cowboy / Car Wrangler / Rodeo Clown: Shunter/switcher engines. Definitely popularized in the American West.

Did you fill your Tender/Bunker from the Ash Pit?: Ash doesn’t burn and would make a mess all over the cab. Basically translates to “Who pissed in your cornflakes?”Can also refer to an engine who has no steam or energy.

“Did you fill your bunker from the ash pit this morning? You’ve done nothing but complain and insult everyone all day!”

“Did you fill your tender from the ash pit today? I might as well be pulling this train by myself!”

Did They Fill Your Tender With Rocks?: Less profane version of the above.

Drink Hard Water: Hard water, i.e. water with lots of mineral content, is not good for a steam engine because mineral deposits (boiler sludge and scale) can accumulate in the boiler and other plumbing and be very uncomfortable / difficult to clean out.

“Go drink hard water!” = Go jump in a lake / go to hell / go fuck yourself. Basically “go somewhere else and have a miserable time while you’re there.”

“I’d rather drink hard water!” or “That’s like drinking hard water!” = Hell No.

Dry Crownsheet: VERY strong expression meaning an engine is tired or frustrated to the breaking point and about to lose their temper. “My crownsheet’s dry” could be compared to “I’m going to blow a fuse” or “Blow my stack” but that doesn’t cover the intensity. The crownsheet is the top of a locomotive’s firebox, and allowing the water level in the boiler to drop low enough that the crownsheet is exposed can cause it to overheat, weaken, and fail, which is a common cause of boiler explosions. If that weren’t bad enough water suddenly being reintroduced to an overheated crown sheet can flash to steam and cause a catastrophic pressure spike. Blowing a fuse means a safety mechanism has activated to prevent catastrophe. A steam locomotive with a dry crownsheet means the safety mechanisms have already failed and is on the verge of a devastating explosion. Used figuratively, means an engine has run out of ability to cope with stress and is one more tiny irritation away from taking it out on whoever’s unlucky enough to have added the proverbial final straw, or just anyone nearby, without regard to consequences for themselves.

“Don’t worry, it wasn’t your fault. He rolled into the yard with his crownsheet dry” = He wasn’t angry because of you, he was already angry and something was going to set him off sooner or later.

“Listen, I got a dry crownsheet from my last train. If any of you cars start anything I’m about ready to jump the track into the river and pull you all along with me.”

“Please just get me out of this station! My crownsheet’s about dry and if I have to hear the passengers complaining I don’t think I can take it!”

Find a Scrapyard: This basically means “Kill yourself,” so… not a very nice thing to say.

Fire Me Dry: Basically equivalent to “Fuck me” as an expression of exasperation. If an engine’s fire was lit with no water in the boiler at all, it might not cause an explosion but would still destroy the firebox. Apparently Furness Railway No. 1 was severely damaged and later scrapped due to this.

Flatlanders: Insult used on many mountain railways to make fun of engines and crews from plains regions who aren’t used to running the difficult routes.

“Boy, if those flatlanders think one in one-twenty’s a hill, I can’t wait to see ‘em coming up the pass!”

“They way some of these flatlanders talk you’d think you can’t climb anything over 1% without cog wheels.”

General Sherman, Sherman’s Army, Sherman’s Necktie: Refers to “Sherman’s Neckties,” a tactic of destroying sections of rail by heating them and twisting or bending them until they were unusable. This phrase is pretty much US-specific, and likely originated with engines used in the US Civil War picking up the term from humans, but has spread to subsequent generations of engines who often weren’t taught the historical context and only knew that Sherman was a man who commanded an army and destroyed a lot of railroad track. General Sherman and his army have become almost folkloric figures that various causes of track wear and failure are attributed to, sort of like Jack Frost. Can also refer to incompetent track maintenance / rough and poorly maintained track, or to the crews and vehicles responsible for it. Though they sometimes use the term for an engine who’s particularly hard on the rails or otherwise damages the track.

“That crew really did a General Sherman of a job with these rails.” = Sarcastically saying the maintenance crew made the rails even worse.

“Be careful at that junction, it’s a real Sherman’s Necktie.”

“Ouch! Who laid these ties, General Sherman?”

“That new road-rail’s a real General Sherman. Take any track he’s been over slow or you might break an axle.”

“Hey, General Sherman, try checking a switch is set right before you barge into it.”

“In case you’re wondering why the spur’s been closed all day, General Sherman over here spun his wheels ‘til he damn near hit ballast.” (Diesels in multiple unit operation can occasionally spin their wheels on a stopped train for so long they grind/melt halfway through the rails)

“They ought to put you in a siding and necktie the rails” (similar to “They should lock you up and throw away the key)

“Keep an eye on the track ahead of you: General Sherman’s hard at work on days like this” = a warning given in very hot weather that could cause buckling of the rails.

Getting the Rails Painted: A euphemism for a person or animal being run over by a train. Alternately: “Paint my wheels” or “Paint my pilot.” Obviously no sane engine wants this to happen but some engines use this phrase as gallows humor between each other. Occasionally said to humans who break safety rules by a furious engine.

“What the hell are you doing walking between moving freight cars? You almost painted the rails back there!”

“I heard they got the rails painted at the 58th Street Crossing?” “Yeah. From what I heard, poor guy must’ve been drunk and fell asleep on the tracks. They didn’t say whose train it was but Robbie’s been in the shed all week.”

“Some idiot ducked under the crossing gates on a bike and just about painted my pilot.”

“I got my pilot painted by a herd of deer yesterday. I swear, once they get on the track they must think they’re a train, they just run along it!”

Go Get Your Ash Pan Raked: Removing the ash that collects under an engine’s firebox could be considered the closest steam engine equivalent to using the bathroom, but the connotations aren’t quite the same. Cleaning out the ash pan is a task firemen hate, so telling an engine to get their ash pan raked basically means “Go be someone else’s problem for a while (instead of mine)” Basically translates to "Fuck off."

Hotbox / Hot Axle: A hotbox or hot axle is an overheating axle and/or bearing box, usually on rolling stock but sometimes on engines. “One hot axle stops a train” is a common proverb that means a small missed detail can cause a massive inconvenience or impediment – compare to “For want of a nail” or “One bad apple spoils the barrel.” It doesn’t matter how many cars are on a train, a single hotbox can force the entire thing to stop until the problem is fixed. In slang use, of course, a hotbox can refer to anything small and seemingly irrelevant that manages to cause a disproportionate amount of annoyance, delay, or wasted time. It could be a physical object, a rule or procedure or an event. It is also a common insult: sometimes directed at engines, but more often at people or other vehicles. It basically means “killjoy” or “wet blanket,” with a specific connotation of “You and your opinion aren’t important but you are holding everyone else back / ruining things for everyone by making a ton of noise.” Common examples of hotboxes include an overly officious inspector or manager, a broken down road vehicle blocking a grade crossing, a track maintenance crew that’s working slowly and blocking multiple trains, a small weather event that still sometimes manages to delay everything, or an unruly passenger who causes an entire train to be stopped on their account (or unsuccessfully demands it be).

“Sorry I’m so late. Some drunk hotbox picked a fight with the conductor and the cops had to drag him off the train.”

“Will you quit being such a hot axle? Everyone else is enjoying the roundhouse party, if you don’t like it just sleep outside!”

“They’d better fix those jammed points soon, they’re hotboxing the whole damn yard!” (note: the use of "hotbox" as a verb among engines probably predates the drug usage)

Icicles In My Smokebox: Hyperbolic complaining about cold weather. There are many parts of a steam engine that are susceptible to things freezing where they shouldn’t, such as the feed hoses from the tender, water tanks, and possibly journal boxes and other running gear could feel stiff and numb if the oil gets cold enough. Naturally, when engines are complaining about the cold they’ll claim the hottest parts of them, which have absolutely no chance of freezing while their fire is lit, are freezing. Other variants include “Frost in my flues,” “If they put ice cream in my firebox it wouldn’t melt,” and “Cold enough to freeze your smoke halfway up the stack,” and “So cold a snowman could fire me all day long” (standing next to a firebox door shoveling coal is hot work, if it’s that cold in the cab it’s pretty darn cold)

Idiot Siding: Off the rails, specifically a safety siding where the rails end in a sand or gravel bed, or wherever a train that runs over trap points / catch points / derailers gets sent. These devices intentionally derail an uncontrolled or runaway train to prevent it from obstructing a main line or endangering people further down the track. If a train ends up here either somebody didn’t check the switch alignment, moved when they weren’t supposed to, or lost control of their train, hence the name.

If it gets any hotter my fireman’s gonna be out of a job: Hyperbolic complaining about the weather – implying that the heat of the sun on an engine’s boiler is enough to raise steam without them needing a fire.

In My Cab: Sarcastic way of saying another engine (usually) or a non-crew human is being bossy, or controlling and/or micromanaging, or giving advice on things that are none of their business. Basically meaning “You’re acting like you think you’re my driver.”

“Get out of my cab, I can sort these cars how I want!”

“Manager’s been in my cab all week.”

“Who let you in my cab?”

“Yeah, sure thing. Hey, while you’re up there in my cab, why don’tcha polish my gauges?”

Lionel Lines / Lionels: Derogatory term for narrow-gauge railways and trains, named after the popular brand of toy and model trains. Visitors to the JGD are strongly advised to NOT use this term around the resident standard-gauge engines. They are very protective of their narrow-gauge friends due to certain incidents in the past.

No Ashpan: e.g. “You’ve been running with no ashpan all day” or “He ain’t got no ashpan.” The ash pan is a tray underneath a steam engine’s firebox that collects ash and cinders that fall through the grates. An engine with no ashpan would leave a trail of red-hot cinders everywhere it went, which could be scattered by the wind from a train at speed, starting fires around the track – especially in the dry climate where the JGD is! Basically it means someone leaves a trail of destruction wherever they go. This is a very strong way of calling someone clumsy or incompetent (as in “You fuck up everything you touch”). It can also be used to refer to someone who’s rude, tactless, cruel, or toxic.

Pulling With Your Regulator: Wasting effort, doing more work than you need to. A steam engine’s power can be controlled using the regulator/throttle (reducing available steam pressure / flow rate to the valves) or by using the valve gear control (the “Johnson Bar”) to reduce the amount of time the valves are open. Controlling power and speed using the Johnson Bar (admitting small amounts of high-pressure steam into the cylinders) is more efficient than using the throttle (letting lots of low-pressure steam into the cylinders).

“Sure, you could shunt those cars like that, but you’ll be pulling with your regulator. Those grain hoppers are going out tomorrow morning and you’ll have to get ‘em out from behind everything else.”

Put on a Liquid Diet: A coal-fired or wood-fired steam engine being converted to an oil burner.

Rolling Dumpster: Insulting term for a tender. Not like a slur against tender engines, in fact it’s probably mostly tender engines who use it. E.g. “Why don’t you get that rolling dumpster off that siding and do some work for once?”

Sand in my fire and coal on my wheels: An engine feeling sick, confused, or discombobulated. Ironically oil-fired engines do actually periodically get sand thrown in their fire to clean their tubes out.

Scalding: Yelling at someone, dressing them down, treating them with cruelty. Engines can’t be physically scalded, but they know the meaning from the injuries that escaping steam can cause to humans.

“I’m sick of that stationmaster. He scalded me and my crew for running two minutes behind schedule without even asking why!”

“Geez, ask a simple question, get a scalding.”

“If that switchman isn’t fired tonight, he’ll wish he had been after the scalding I give him next time he see him. Throwing a train onto a siding at that speed could’ve derailed me, not to mention if there’d been a train there!"

Slug: Someone who blindly follows orders with no initiative or independent thought, or a yes-man or toadie. Used by diesels. A slug is an extra motor unit that can be coupled to a diesel-electric engine that draws excess power from it to provide extra traction while shunting, but a slug is not alive in the same way that tenders aren’t alive.

“Oh, company policy says, the rulebook says – quit being such a slug and live a little!”

“Yeah, the guy’s just Bernie’s slug. Always following him around hoping to be noticed. Pathetic.”

Smoke out the Stack: Similar to Water Under the Bridge. Expression meaning something’s in the past and no longer relevant.

“Hey, sorry about this morning.” “Ahh, don’t worry, that’s smoke out the stack."

Squishies: A very rude way of referring to careless yard workers and light road or rail vehicles, as well as people who trespass on tracks.

Sugar in My Fuel Tank: An unpleasant surprise. Originated in petrol-powered vehicles, but spread to diesel locomotives even though sugar in a diesel tank doesn’t really cause that much damage.

Teakettle: Insulting term for steam engines, especially small ones.

Tender-first: Doing something totally wrong, i.e. Ass-backwards. This one translates very literally. A tender engine running backwards can’t see very well and neither can its crew.

This Train’s Leaving. You can be on it, beside it, or under it: Means “My mind is made up. You can either help or leave me alone, but if you get in the way there’s going to be serious trouble.”

Thrown: Throwing a switch is what changing it from one direction to another is called, but when an engine talks about getting thrown it means being switched in an unexpected or unwanted direction, particularly at high speed. Like other types of sentient vehicle engines need a human operator to move with full control, but they also run on rails and cannot “steer.” In essence a train moves in one dimension while a car or boat moves in two and an aircraft moves in three. Even the most free-spirited engines don’t usually truly want the ability to go any which way: they like the certainty and predictability of knowing where moving forward will take them. However, engines do value the limited autonomy they do have. An engine can’t control itself without a driver, but as anyone who’s read the Railway Series will know, it is extremely difficult to move an unwilling engine. Thomas and James had runaway incidents because they were either trying to move without a driver on purpose or didn’t realize there was no one at the controls, and once they had made the choice to let themselves start moving, they couldn’t change the state of their controls by themselves. But an engine won’t move without their consent. Switches are a different matter. An engine is reliant on someone outside the cab to set the points, and being sent down the “wrong track” against their will feels very violating to many engines in a way that being physically pushed or pulled by another vehicle doesn’t. It’s like being manhandled. There is an expectation that switch operators follow the instructions of either an engine, their crew, or the dispatcher or yardmaster who is expected to tell the engine in advance where they are supposed to go. It’s also physically a jarring and unpleasant out-of-control feeling for an engine even when traveling at a safe speed – basically the train equivalent of going up or down a staircase and expecting another step that isn’t there, or suddenly hydroplaning or hitting a patch of ice in a car, or having your feet start to slide out from under you. And it’s often downright dangerous, either because a train is moving too fast for the curve of the switch and is derailed or because it’s sent into a collision on the other track or off the end of a siding (e.g. the Flying Kipper crash). Engines being engines, the term is also used hyperbolically to complain about an abrupt change of routing or scheduling with little warning, e.g. “Well, nobody told us about the special using my regular platform, until the last signal, they just threw me to Platform Five!” or “Today’s ore train was late. Dispatch gave them the tunnel instead of me so they didn’t have to stop going uphill, but I didn’t hear about it until they threw me on the passing siding!” It can also be used figuratively, similar to “thrown off track” or “thrown off,” to describe an unpleasant surprise or failure of communication.

Traveling In Style: Slang for a vehicle, especially a locomotive, being transported on a flatbed.

Tubes in a Twist / Knot: Expression of an engine (or human) being irritated, or feeling sick.

“What’s gt your tubes in a twist this morning?”

“That’ll put a knot in the foreman’s tubes for sure!”

“Are you feeling okay? You look like you’ve got a knot in your tubes!”

Turf Train: Affectionate term for farm tractors pulling multiple trailers or appliances.

Turn Your Grates: Implying that an engine has a buildup of ash on their firebox grates that is preventing their fire from getting enough air – almost always used figuratively to imply the engine’s mind is clogged with useless thoughts or strong emotions that are keeping them from thinking clearly. Or that they’re just being an idiot.

“Turn your grates before you run your mouth” = Think before you speak, in particular about whether you’re coming from a place of emotion or bias.

“Turn your grates and look at the track” = You have your mind on something other than what you’re doing, stop thinking about that and concentrate.

“Your cars are right on Spur 7 like I told you, turn your grates and look again!”

“I know the last diesel who visited was rude, but let’s turn our grates and keep an open mind about the new ones.”

Yoopers and Burlies: These are JGD-specific slang. The railroad connects to two major interstate railroads, Union Pacific and the Burlington Northern and Santa Fe Railway (BNSF). At some point some engine heard about the word “Yooper” to describe people from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, decided to start calling engines and employees from Union Pacific this, and the name stuck. “Burlies” are BNSF engines. Prior to the 1995 merge of Burlington Northern and the Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe Railway, the term was used for Burlington Northern, but there wasn’t really a term for Santa Fe engines other than “Santas” or “S-Fs.” A few engines tried to get “Reindeer” adopted as a term but it never caught on. Yoopers and Burlies are common on the JGD because both railways have trackage rights on one or more of its major routes.

You Got Your Valve Gear Backwards On the Left Side: Steam locomotives reverse by using their valve gear to change the timing of their valves. If one somehow had its valve gear operating backwards on one side, one cylinder would be trying to go in reverse and the other forward and it wouldn’t get anywhere. Used figuratively to mean “You’re sabotaging yourself” or “You’re the cause of your own problems.” Mostly used by older engines.

[captainclickycat]

You know I think I’ve just put my finger on one of the things about why it annoys me so much when people on the internet try to turn personal preferences with queer media in particular into like… a morality contest or social hierarchy or act like there’s a right and wrong option for which thing you like better.

Because when I was growing up, non-niche queer media was pretty rare, relatively speaking. It wasn’t nonexistent, and god knows we’ve still got some way to go to this day, but there’s a very strong contrast now I think between the amount of casually-presented and diverse queer representation that spans over a variety of genres and what we had to choose from back then. When I was a teenager, this kind of variety felt like a bit of a pipe dream.

So now we’ve actually got more variety and more genres and we’re at least making some progress towards being a little bit spoilt for choice (which is unequivocally a good thing) and now many of us actually have half a chance of reading a book or watching a show or film or playing a game or whatever that appeals to us based specifically on our personal tastes, and still has queer themes and characters. It’s not “either queer stuff or stuff that aligns with my tastes” anymore, or at least not as much as it used to be.

So, hooray! This is the desired outcome! (Or at least a step in the right direction.) But then instead of going “oh great, more choice now :)” some people are now trying to limit our options again instead, and act like they’re being progressive.

“Ooh you should watch this queer show instead of that one, because that one is cringe. Because that one is problematic [even though the show I prefer has its own share of ideological flaws but somehow I consider it redeemable in a way that the other one isn’t, and this definitely doesn’t come down to the fact that I just prefer it on a personal level, no sir.]” “Oo why are you invested in this particular show, there are other queer shows, watch those instead” as if they’re interchangeable. As if it’s as simple as buying store brand instead of the more expensive brand because hey, it tastes the same. As if “queer” is a genre and that should be all you need. If something ticks all these particular progressive boxes you should like it and if it doesn’t you should dislike it, what do you mean it’s more complicated than that?

And naturally media that’s “problematic” in some ways can never ever be progressive in other ways. It can’t handle some things well and some things poorly and there can never be an open and honest discussion about that which ultimately ends with some people still enjoying “problematic” things. It can’t be nuanced, because that would be too complicated! There’s no baby, we need to just throw away all that nasty bathwater.

Anyway I ran out of steam a little here but I do want to state in clear terms that if you say anything along the lines of “omg how can you vote for that show on the tumblr fandom poll, that’s the CRINGE option” I’m picturing you as a snotty nine-year-old and nothing you can say will convince me not to. So, you know. Make of that what you will.

[turtlemagnum]

so it turns out that the steam version of the sega genesis classics collection has steam workshop support, where apparently you can just... upload roms, into the official steam workshop, and it just works because at its core it's just an emulator that you paid for the right to play them legally. fucking mario 1 is on here. i can't believe i can play mario 1 on steam without any actual piracy on my end, it's fucking amazing. honestly wish nintendo would release their old games on steam, though frankly i can only see that happening if and when someone like me (or just me) becomes a rich asshole with more money than geoff bombos and buys nintendo just so they can force them to actually make their older fucking games available, like jesus christ nintendo just let me buy mario 1 on steam normally i'd pay at least a dollar for it, probably more like 5 dollars given how that shit tends to get priced. let me buy pokemon red and just put up pokemon bank on steam. just have that shit use the standard steam cloud save infrastructure or something, i don't give a shit man. i wanna play ocarina of time on PC and have my saves be backed up online so i can pick up and play from device to device and never lose progress!!! it would make you guys sososososoososososososoooo much money, and yeah it'd technically make piracy easier but piracy of nintendo games is already piss easy, which is why i DEFINITELY DON'T have hundreds of gigabytes worth of nintendo games on my PC, do NOT sue me i believe copyright infringement is a VILE EVIL and everyone who does it is DEFINITELY GOING TO HELL. my copy of ship of harkinnian uses COMPLETELY LEGALLY DUMPED VERSIONS of ocarina of time, and you can't legally prove otherwise. hey did i mention that i've slept about 2 hours in the past day? like from around 5 to 7 this morning i tried to sleep and woke up and went to mcdonalds because i was so fucking hungry, like god dude i was starving by 5 but mcdonalds only opens at 7 on the inside so i had to wait until then. since then i've essentially been running off of my ADHD meds and the moderate amounts of caffeine i've drunk 2day. like me saying "moderate amounts" isn't me doing a little haha funny misnomer i only drank like two full cups of pop today, once at mcdonalds and once at dinner with my grandparents. side note but i'm glad that i had the sense to look up the actual BDS website and see that mcdonalds either stopped being boycotted or never was in the first place, because apparently they're a lot more selective than social media people about that sorta shit, who'd'a thunk. anyways i'm glad because it's the only food place in the area open that early and what i order is relatively inexpensive, at least by modern fast food standards. i'll never understand people who get mcmuffins with egg when the ones with just the sausage are half the goddamn price and the egg is nasty anyways. like i'm not an egg hater or anything i'm just pretty sure fast food eggs are less so Actual Eggs and moreso solidified sulphur given marginal nutritional value. i xhould Fucking sleep. good nigh.....

[localplaguenurse]

Fear and Hunger is currently 50% off on steam…….

I’m fighting myself to NOT buy this game……

Mmmm but your chara fic is whispering sweet temptations into my ear……

Ivy you’ve given me a reason to rant and ramble about Funger and I think you know that

1. This game is rarely going to be nice to you. Genuinely. First and foremost, aside from plot relevant items, every item is randomized. And not just randomized as in each game has a different set of items when you spawn in, I mean if you manage to save your game, search a barrel, die, respawn and search that barrel again, it’s not gonna be the same item. You could become super op in the start of the game if the cards feel like you deserve it.

2. The combat system is interesting. First of all, there’s no leveling up system. You get 0 experience points from fighting. Most of the time it’s actually better to avoid fighting altogether. When you’re in combat however, there’s a dismemberment system. Think of it like every enemy’s limb gets a turn, sort of, and every three rounds there’s typically a coin flip to avoid a “big attack.” You have to methodically damage/cut off the limbs of your enemy in order to kill them. The recommended strategy is you attack the arms first so they don’t attack you (namely whichever arm is holding the weapon), and then you have to cut the legs (or genitals of certain enemies) to cripple them, which makes their head easier to hit and instantly kill them. It’s very difficult to actually land a headshot without going for the legs. Also, using magic requires “mind” which drains the longer you’re in the dungeon. You can restore mind by getting drunk and doing drugs.

3. Coinflips. Every once in a while the game is going to make you flip heads or tails. They pop up when you search certain chests, search bookshelves, go to take a rest to save, are in combat, are walking around, and even use certain items. If you guess right, you can get some good loot, actually save your game, keep yourself from getting killed and/or witnessing a really nasty scene (that usually kills you anyways), keep yourself from falling through the floor, and other fun things! If you fail, then whoops. Occasionally you can find lucky coins, so if you hold shift, you can flip two coins, which raises your success from 50/50 to 75/25. Nothing is more soul crushing than getting double heads when you wanted tails though. Agony.

4. You can lose limbs and/or suffer other permanent debuffs. An enemy will attack you and cut it off, or it’ll give you an infected limb, or you’ll step on another fucking rusty nail again and be out of green herbs to cure the infection, so you’ll have to take out your rusty bonesaw to cut it off. If you lose one arm, you can still use weapons but only one handed ones, and can’t hold shields. Lose both arms, can’t hold weapons, pray your character knows magic. Lose one leg, your walking speed is reduced, but lose both legs and you have to crawl around. You can even lose your eyes and go blind, and the game is still technically playable, but ragequitting is not only valid but recommended. You can also get fractured limbs which can’t be healed, permanently lowering your hp, or suffer rectal bleeding from getting assaulted and you can’t stop the bleeding ever.

5. This game gets gross. There’s offscreen and, if you fuck up a coin flip, onscreen assault. I lost a coin flip to a harvestman, it broke all my limbs and shoved an arm up my ass and killed me. You get the status rectal bleeding from the night crawlers and certain guards you can lose coinflips to, and at least one boss I know of going off the guide I had to look at to beat the game. Also gore and general nudity. I can not describe when I was first playing the game, I was streaming it with friends during dnd, I ran into a guard for the first time and was met with a monster cock the length of my arm and twice the thickness. You couldn’t even stream this game until someone made a censorship mod.

6. You’re gonna end up looking at walkthroughs to figure out wtf you have to do. That’s fine, just try to avoid actual lore spoilers.

7. The whole point of the game is you have to find L’egarde in the prison in the deepest part of the dungeon. You have to do this in 30 minutes. Fuck whoever told me I had an hour.

8. Don’t jump down the toilet hole. There’s literally nothing there for you as tempting as it is.

9. I FORGOT SAVING!!!! You can only save by flipping a coin before going to bed or getting books of enlightenment. Only one bed is truly safe, Another is safe the first time, the others might end up getting you killed.

And that’s pretty much all the relevant information you need to know before you consider buying funger! I personally like the thought of someone suffering with me but you can make your own choices uwu.

[bella-caecilia]

Slowly getting to round up the Cobert flufftober challenge lol. I have one more WIP, so this is the second to last drabble. This is for @cobertaddict who requested #23 & for @countesscorazelizabethcrawley who requested #23 & #26. Thank you both for the prompts &lt;3<3

set in s3e3 after they visited Eryholme, that should become Downton Place

(warning: not edited because I don't have the time right now. pls forgive me)

Day 13

23 + 26 - letting them ramble when they need to let off steam & scalp massages when they have a headache

The day had been long. Awfully long. Robert pulled his head between his shoulders when the nasty headache pounded stronger in his skull the moment his valet opened the screeching closet door for the umpteenth time.

“I think I’m fine. I can manage myself,” Robert said in a bad attempt to hide his irritation.

“Very well, milord. I bid you a good night.”

Robert dismissed him with a short nod, his lips pursed in strained pain. When he was alone in the room, he walked to the dresser, took the dressing gown his valet had been preparing, and threw it over his arm, not bothering with putting it on. He turned off the only source of light on the bedside table of his deserted and uncomfortable bed and opened the door to the adjoining room.

“There you are,” her soft voice greeted him. Strangely, it was a sound – unlike any other – that didn’t aggravate his headache further. He growled in response, unable to utter anything else. He walked straight to the bed and only looked up when he was a few steps from it.

Cora sat upright on her side of the bed. She looked tired, but not as tired as he felt. Her unruly curls were pulled into a braid but Robert could see how stubborn they were. The shadows under Cora’s eyes were dark, but her smile was warm and faithful. In her hands, she held her pocket watch. Robert could only guess that she had been winding it to put it back into the drawer of her bedside table where it always rested.

“What a day, hm?” she added when her eyes travelled over his appearance. He noticed the hint of scrutiny in her unwavering smile. The lines on her forehead deepened for a second, and her eyes narrowed so briefly, he was only sure it happened because he knew her so well.

“Tell me about it.” With a groan, he put down his dressing gown at the feet of the bed. They had been to Eryholme, or ‘Downton Place’ in the future. They had a picnic there, and everyone had tried to make it a joyous and light-hearted occasion as best as possible. Robert hadn’t liked it. He hadn’t been looking forward to the day, he hadn’t enjoyed it, and he wasn’t in a good mood now that the day had happened. It had brought the loss of the money painfully to everyone’s attention and the forefront of Robert’s mind again. The gravity of it all was as clear to him as ever.

He hated the whole ordeal that Cora called ‘downsizing’ in a bright tone as if it was something positive. Which it surely wasn’t. It meant they were losing Downton, and this was clearly a disaster as big as anyone could imagine.

Robert got into bed not without wincing, and of course, that didn’t slip Cora’s attention.

“What’s the matter?” she asked.

“Ugh, just an awfully nasty headache,” Robert mumbled. He pressed his fingertips into his temples. “The ride home from Eryholme wore me out.”

“My poor darling,” Cora cooed. Robert heard her putting down the pocket watch and closing the drawer again before he felt her shuffling closer to him.

“I could ring for O'Brien to bring you some powder.”

“No, it’s alright. And anyway, I couldn’t afford all the amounts of it I’d have to buy for the countless headaches that will come with all the troubles in the coming weeks and months and God forsake years. No, no. Better not get started on these powders.”

“Now you’re being silly.” Her voice was very close by his side now.

“Hmph,” he only grumbled in response. He closed his eyes, trying to hide from the pain. The bed shook slightly from Cora’s moving around, and Robert was about to chide her for being so restless when she spoke again.

“Why don’t you come here?” her voice was very soft and careful, and Robert opened one eye to look at her. She sat against the headboard and smiled down at him empathically. With her right hand, she patted the duvet on her lap. She was trying to take care of him, Robert realised.

“Rest your head here,” she explained and straightened the covers on her lap again.

Robert only thought about it for a second. Her proposal was very alluring. He groaned as he lifted his head and upper body and moved to the middle of the bed to put down his head in Cora’s lap. The muscles in his neck pulled painfully when he moved and he tried to suppress any further groans. He was no sniveler after all.

When his head lay down, Cora’s fingers descended into his hair and began moving lightly over his scalp. Her fingertips pressed gently here and there, and involuntarily a sigh slipped from Robert’s lips. It just felt so good.

“Is that right?” Cora inquired in a warm whisper.

Robert hummed his agreement.

After a moment of silent massaging, Cora said, “I know it’s a lot at the moment. And I know how testing it is on you. It is not easy.”

She was right. “Well, it’s easy for you,” Robert gave back. He tried his best to handle the situation right and honourably but it was hard, and watching Cora, he saw how easy it all was on her.

“It is not easy for me to see you having to part with the idea of Downton and living your whole life here. Don’t think it’s not hard for me to see you struggle,” she answered. “I may be able to adapt but I’m still sharing your heartache, Robert. I am your wife and how can I be happy when you aren’t? I wish it was easier for you but I know there is no way it could.”

Robert felt a lump in his throat. He pressed his closed eyes more tightly together and exhaled forcefully through his nose. “You know I’d do everything for Downton. You know that.” Cora’s hands stopped moving for a second in his hair. Yes, she knew very well. “It is very hard to accept that there isn’t anything I can do anymore,” Robert breathed.

“Oh, darling,” Cora whispered. One of her hands combed through his hair as the other brushed over his cheek.

Robert hated how he got so sentimental again. “These damn railroads,” he muttered in annoyance to distract himself from the tug at his heart. “The railroad business is booming everywhere. You’d think they could make a simple company work on such an emerging branch of the economy. Every idiot would have made a ton of cash with a railroad company like this. Why do they have to blunder the one company I invested in?” he rambled.

“It’s a shame,” Cora agreed. Her hands patiently continued massaging his scalp.

“I still can’t believe they messed it up completely,” Robert grumbled. His head was already a bit lighter and he just kept rambling with closed eyes because talking all that aggravating nonsense off his chest was nearly as relieving as Cora’s massage. “Sometimes I think it might be just a bad dream and the business is actually going as well as anticipated. I mean it would only be logical.”

“Mhm,” Cora hummed.

“Ugh, it’s just bloody awful. Bloody, bloody awful.”

“It is,” she agreed.

They were silent for a moment and both concentrated on the movements of Cora’s fingers in his hair. The two of them were bathed in the warm golden light of their bedside lamps and the glowing fireplace. Robert smelled the fresh cotton sheets and Cora’s perfume on her wrists. It mixed with the subtle lotion she put on before bed. Robert slowly felt relaxation seeping into his body.

“Your hands feel very good,” he mentioned into the silence.

Cora exhaled in a single chuckle. “I like to hear that,” she said. “I always like to hear that.”

Robert felt a hot coil build in his abdomen and a sudden heat rise onto his neck. Cora never let a double-entendre slip. She really never did.

[pjisskullourful]

🆄🆂🅴 🅼🅴

🚬Ethan × reader

part 4/?? [series masterpost]

NSFW 🔥 smuttastic feral nastiness

° Ethan Torchio/female reader insert ✨ cameos by: Damiano David, Thomas Raggi & Victoria De Angelis

° 'This son of a bitch will pay for this tonight' ||| meeting the members of måneskin in miami unexpectedly brings up your need for revenge [based december 2022]

wordcount::        6,370

° commissioned by the wonder that is kat (@mistressofthecats-blog ) 💋 thanks for another truly filthy idea that i loved bringing to life

“So you’re the reason Ethan can’t focus ‘cause he’s always horny?” Damiano asked.

“Yep, that’d be me. Did you want an apology or…?” You returned, making the lead singer laugh.

You felt good about this, feeling confident of the first impression you were leaving on one of Ethan’s best friends. This was the first night you were meeting all the members of Måneskin and there was an unprompted urge inside of you to prove yourself. Not just to the three of them, but also to Ethan. You wanted to show him that you could fit in with the most important people in his life, as if this was an unofficial test to win the achievement of being the great girlfriend he deserved.

But your night wouldn’t be entirely about appealing to the musicians, because you were at work the same as them. The events management company that you worked for were partnered up with the company that had brought Måneskin to Miami for the night.

This was just a brief moment of relaxation that you would have backstage.

“Okay, okay, how about a little less inappropriate questions for this professional woman just trying to do her job?” Ethan suggested, stepping forward.

Damiano was provided a steaming cup of tea and wandered off for a quiet place to sit. This left you and your boyfriend alone, amongst the rest of the backstage activity. Smirking, you turned to face him.

“Always horny, eh?” You asked.

He stared you down. “Oh, and you aren’t? You’re probably thinking about it right now…”

You folded your arms across your chest. “I’m sure that I have no idea what you’re talking about, I am just a professional woman doing my job.”

“Really?” He asked, full of cheeky scepticism. “Are you really gonna try to tell me that you aren’t already thinking ahead to the hotel room?” He took a step closer to you and your eyes darted down to his mouth. “You don’t have any plans for that bed, or the floor?” You were hanging on his every word, too distracted to care if anyone else was noticing the two of you. “You didn’t pack any extra, special items in with the rest of your work stuff?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Baby, I’m just a regular working stiff tonight. I think you should be more worried about yourself.” His eyebrows raised at that. “Will you be able to focus on your drums knowing I’m watching?”

There was no hesitation in how he responded, ready to quip back in the same second that you had finished speaking. “Are you gonna survive knowing I’m banging my drums and not you?”

“Yep, I’m sure I’ll be just fine.” You said with full confidence.

“And we’ve got Vic.” One of the members of the touring team announced to the large room as the bassist emerged from the makeup room.

“Okay, photos. Everyone get together.”

Ethan gave you a peck on the cheek before leaving your side. He went over to where someone was holding a bulky camera, assembling with his bandmates.

Before the informal photoshoot could begin, you were distracted by a co-worker tapping your arm. They presented you with a rectangular tin. This needed to get to the merchandise stand, because the staff were running low on cash. You took one last look at Ethan (who was showing his serious side to the camera) before leaving backstage, with the locked container in hand.

The venue was buzzing with the excitement of the fans, with a large amount of people in line to buy some merch. You moved around to the other side of the booth, joining the other working staff. You transferred the cash box into their hands and asked if they needed any extra stock from backstage.

Then you were leaving, ready to see what tasks needed your attention next.

“Why don’t we do a ‘kissing under the mistletoe’ photo?” You heard the photographer suggest as you returned backstage, which made your ears involuntarily prick up.

“But there’s no mistletoe…” Damiano said.

“Imaginary mistletoe.” Thomas offered a solution.

“Come on, it’s festive.” Victoria said. “It’ll be good for the feed.”

There didn’t appear to be much thought put into how they would pair off, Thomas turned to the person directly beside him and Victoria did the same - meaning she would be sharing a kiss with your boyfriend. As you watched, from a distance, you couldn’t help feeling like you were back in school, watching Spin the Bottle go down at a rambunctious party.

“Okay, are we ready?” The person holding the camera asked the chatting bandmates. “Three, two- kiss.”

You kept your eyes glued to Ethan, watching the way he and Victoria laid their hands on each other before kissing. Their eyes were shut as they fully went in, heads tilted and lips parted, leaning into one another. The camera flashed so many times, capturing a lot of photos as they kept going.

You couldn’t look away, even as you felt white hot irritation winding its way around your gut and tightening. The tendrils reached higher and you clenched your jaw. The negative emotions were so deep within you before you had any time to understand their source or apply any kind of logic.

This son of a bitch, it was your first coherent thought, directed at your boyfriend.

You weren’t entirely shocked by the display - you had come to learn that this was something of a trademark for Måneskin. You had seen the video for I Wanna Be Your Slave, you understood that they played with the ideal ‘sex sells’. He had explained to you that the four friends were simply very comfortable with one another, with physical affection being part of that. You hadn’t raised any further questions, accepting this, even if you couldn’t relate to it.

Now, all that you could think about was how you would literally never do this with any of your friends. Even if you were single. Nico would sooner hit you with pepper spray than agree to this kind of lip-to-lip contact.

Beyond a shadow of a doubt, you understood that nothing would come of this. There was no betrayal to be felt, because you knew she wasn’t after your man, or anything juvenile like that.

All the same, you were plagued by jealousy. Because you wanted to be the one indulging in a kiss with Ethan. It had been hours, you wanted to feel his hands and taste his lips.

This son of a bitch will pay for this tonight, the decision was made.

He was teasing you with what you couldn’t currently have. It was as frustrating as the naked or otherwise lewd photos he sent to you when your work kept you separate.

When the friends finally parted, he screwed his face up in distaste. “Pizza breath. Fucking Hell, Vic.”

This brought about laughter and she playfully punched his arm. One of the makeup artists rushed forward, ready to do touch-ups, beginning with her.

Amongst the movement from everyone else, he spotted you and all traces of that scowl left his face.

He smiled and winked at you. It wasn’t one of his over-exaggerated, silly winks. This was a subtle batting of one lid, just for you.

You returned his smile only half-heartedly, your jaw was still clenched.

“Hey, can I get you to grab another pack of those water bottles from the fridge?” Your supervisor asked, approaching you. “We’re running low out here.”

“Of course.” You said immediately.

You started to leave the backstage area, heading for the loading dock you had been shown earlier in the night. As you walked, you began to make your vivid plans for the hotel room, plans for the bed and possibly beyond.

In your mind, you were already away from this night of work. He had been teasing you and your dirty mind before, but you were prepared to go beyond anything he might expect.

*** *** ***

Almost every word that you had said to Ethan had been dripping with sarcasm. And he had matched this, without any signs of fatigue from the intensive show he had just put on.

The two of you were able to carry out your unique style of flirting as you were driven away from the venue. A large van was filled with the members of Måneskin and some of their team, en route back to the sanctuary that was the luxurious hotel.

You had spent the entire concert coming up with how you would exact your payback on Ethan. This had built up a lot of energy inside of you, with your intentions bubbling just beneath the surface. This manifested in a lot of snarky comments and sassy comebacks.

You weren’t sure how long you had been in the van. But for the majority of the journey, the two of you had been volleying.

“I heard a girl screaming in the front row, ‘fuck me, Ethan’.” You said.

He was smiling at you. “You sure it wasn’t you?”

You rolled your eyes. “You wish.”

“No, I just have memory of that.”

“And is it memories like that which keep you quote-unquote ‘too horny to focus’?” You teased.

“You know that he was exaggerating when he said that.”

“I dunno about that, he seems like a reliable source to me.” You said of Damiano. “If I were going to shout anything, it would be ‘fuck off, Ethan’.”

He furrowed his brow. “I don’t have any memory of that.”

“You’re about to…”

From the seat behind yours, Thomas chimed in. “You two sure have an unusual way of communicating. Don’t take that the wrong way, please. ‘Cause it’s good to go against the grain. But damn, if I didn’t know any better…”

“Yeah, are you two this mad at each other when you’re fucking?” Damiano asked.

In your peripheral vision, you could see that Ethan had begun to blush and this pleased you. “It depends on what kind of dumb shit he’s done that day.”

His mouth dropped open in exaggerated shock. “What? What about the dumb shit you do?”

“No comparison.” You calmly stated.

“You two need to go and fuck this out already.” Damiano said.

“In his dreams.” You said.

“We’ll see about that when we get back to the hotel.” Ethan said.

A sly smile came onto your face as you responded. “Yes, we will.”

*** *** ***

“I’m so exhausted.” You had said to Ethan once you were back at the hotel, before he had gotten the door to your suite unlocked.

He had taken you at your word, after seeing a portion of your night at work. He hadn’t given you sarcasm or any kind of sass, that mood had been left behind. He hadn’t tried to talk you into joining him in the shower, instead he had kissed you on the cheek and promised to keep the noise down.

“Get some rest, creep.” He said as you yawned.

As soon as the bathroom door clicked shut, you cut this fake yawn off. You continued to undress from your work clothes, going over to your opened suitcase. But you didn’t pull out the old T-shirt you had brought to wear to bed, instead you unzipped a thin compartment of the bag.

You heard the water running in the shower and quickly got to work on the first part of your plan. This included a transformation - taking you out of the practical clothes he had seen you in all night. You replaced your bland uniform with a dark red, velvet dress. You paired this with fishnet stockings, then slid your feet into some black high heels. You pulled on a pair of black, mesh gloves that reached above your elbows.

When you had packed this ensemble, you had envisioned having a romantic reason to wear it. But you didn’t mind putting it to use in this way. Using it for an evil plan was better than not using it at all.

Onto your lips, you painted a blood red pigment. You touched up the makeup already on your face as the water kept running in the other room.

Then it came time to prepare the room. You tossed your secret prop onto the seat of an armchair and began moving this over, getting the chair closer to the bed. You rushed around, turning off all of the lights, excluding your bedside lamp. You used this light to get back to the chair and you sat down, facing the bed. The prop laid in your lap as you listened to the shower.

When the water finally shut off, you reached your arm out and switched the lamp off. You were swallowed up by the shadows, hoping that the light from the bathroom wouldn’t reach you. You crossed one leg over the other and composed yourself.

He emerged from the darkened bathroom (considerate enough to shut off the light before opening the door, to avoid disrupting your sleep). He became another shadow in the suite and you listened carefully for his footsteps on the carpet. In your mind, you visualised his movements.

You kept very still, until you heard the mattress sigh under his weight as he began to settle. Was he reaching across the bed and trying to find your body? How long would it take for him to realise that something was different and speak a question into the silence?

You hooked your prop over one finger, letting its chain make a quick, rhythmic rattling as you reached out with the other hand. You switched the lamp on again, filling this part of the room with light.

His brow was furrowed as he looked in your direction. Immediately his expression started to change, with the concern giving way to show how impressed he was. He sat up in the bed as his eyes rushed to take in your entire appearance.

Nothing was said as he appraised you. You took advantage of this moment and began to twirl one thick leather cuff around your finger, the other, attached handcuff swirled through the air. You maintained this momentum, drawing his attention to your BDSM prop.

“Hey creep, I thought you were asleep.” He said.

You didn’t smile as you looked at him. “Nope. I’ve gotta deal with you before I can sleep.”

“Deal with?” He repeated, looking sceptical.

You got to your feet, taking the few steps over to the bed. “Yes. You see, you’ve been a complete pain in the ass.”

You climbed onto the bed, keeping yourself on your knees so that you were higher than him. You put one hand on his bare shoulder and shoved him back. He didn’t resist this and you got him lying flat on his back.

“It doesn’t matter how God-like you may feel, all of those people screaming and falling to pieces over you and just you- that doesn’t mean you can disrespect me like you did tonight and not face any consequences…” You said, holding the heavy-duty cuffs securely in your hand.

The cocky, teasing smile came back onto his face as he looked up at you. “You’re referring to the kiss?”

“Damn right I am.”

“Alright.” He said and offered his wrists to you, showing his willingness to submit.

“Above your head.” You said. “I’m cuffing you to the bed.”

He continued to smile as he lifted his arms up, he probably thought he was about to go on a sexy adventure. But the cuffs were only a part of your evil plan.

You wrapped the leather around one of his wrists, then you fed the linking chain around a rung on the wooden headboard. You pulled the other cuff over and fixed it into place, trapping him in his current position.

“You look really gorgeous, babe.” He said.

“Aw.” You pinched his chin in your hand. “That’s not gonna get you out of this…”

He looked even more inviting than you could have imagined. You swept your eyes up-and-down his body, which was clad in only a pair of blue underwear. There was more inspiration to be drawn from his current state - the muscles in his arms tensed while the rest of his body was immobile. Your imagination was practically overflowing with ideas as you watched his impressive chest rising-and-falling quicker than what was normal.

“The things I’m gonna do to you…” You said as you remained kneeling at his side.

His tongue darted out to wet his lips as he watched the motion of how you had started to stroke the side of your neck. “How about you tell me? Then I can help you and make sure you get everything checked off that nasty list you’ve got.”

You shook your head. “No.” You properly caressed your skin, exploring all that was left exposed by your dress’ low neckline. “I’d rather leave you guessing.” You played with the spaghetti strap over one shoulder. “I’d rather tell you about how totally crazy you drive me. ‘Cause you aren’t just a pain in my ass. You consume me, probably without even trying…”

You ran both of your hands down to the front of the dress, your palms gliding onto your chest. His eyes had widened, fixed on what you were doing, on how you had begun to lightly fondle your breasts. “You make me ache.” Your nipples were firming up beneath the fabric. “You make me so insatiable and it’s so often. All that you have to do is look at me and you get me aching for your touch.

“And it’s in my whole body…” You lowered your hands, going for the hem, which sat at your thigh. You lifted the dress, allowing him to see more of your thighs. You ran your hands up-and-down your legs and he continued to watch with fascination. “I just want your hands all over me, because you make me feel so good.”

He gulped audibly, but he didn’t have anything to say as he watched you working your hands up-and-down your thighs. You let the hem of your dress move without lifting it high enough that he would be able to see your lacy panties.

You found that his dick was now visible as it stiffened and strained against his briefs. This sight brought a smile to your face - you were yet to lay a single finger on him.

“Maybe you know a little something about an ache…” You said.

His nostrils were flared as he nodded a little. You removed one of your gloves and dragged the thin fabric along his skin, watching his feet start to shift.

You didn’t speak as you took off the other glove, his heavy breathing was the only sound in the suite.

The next thing you removed were your high heels. You rested the shoes upon his chest. “Hold onto those for me, will ya?”

He looked displeased by this and you wondered how much of his patience remained. The chain gave a rattle as he readjusted how he was holding his arms.

You rolled your stockings down and pulled them off. It was a sudden decision to loosely wrap them around his neck, as some sort of fishnet scarf. The dark material looked perfect on him, adding another enhancement to how your fantasy was flawlessly becoming real.

You picked your shoes up. “Thanks, babe.” You pulled them back on, knowing how much he enjoyed the sight of you in high heels.

You grabbed for the bottom of the slip-style dress, allowing him to see your black underwear now. You lifted the dress, pulling it away from your bare torso. You removed the velvet garment and tossed it off the bed. His eyes were fixed on you as you readjusted your hair.

You could tell that he was fully hard inside of his underwear now. You started to push your own down, removing the damp panties.

Instead of liberating him in the same way, you placed your hands to his shoulders. This was to help you brace yourself as you mounted him. He loudly groaned when you straddled him at his stomach, keeping your crotch away from his. He squirmed beneath you, but he was ultimately powerless.

You felt a giddy rush to the head, indulging in the triumph of your plan. You were receiving vindication and he couldn’t do a thing to stop you. The sense of control was intoxicating.

And you let it push you further - you grinded as you settled your body weight on top of them. You pushed your wet pussy down until you made contact with his hot skin. You placed yourself over the strip of hair that reached down from under his belly button.

He made an impatient huffing sound as you started to move your hips. You arched your back, rocking yourself back. Then you thrusted forward, dragging your pussy along his skin. You felt a shiver run up your spine as this translated very well to your aching pussy, you continued your work at building some friction.

You rubbed your clit back-and-forth, wetting his skin as you went. Your walls spasmed and contracted around nothing as your excitement grew. You were finding your pacing, settling into his wonderful motion.

“Fuck.” He moaned, watching you grinding yourself on him. “Does that feel good, dealing with me like this?”

“You have no idea.” You said.

He lifted his head from the pillow to watch as you reached down, going for your pussy. You let your two fingers plunge down, wiping along your slit.

He was transfixed by this. Maybe he was preparing for the fingers to go into his mouth, as you had done in the past.

You put the fingers into your own mouth, tasting your cunt as you used your tongue to clean this moisture off. The taste of your arousal coated the inside of your mouth as you took your fingers out. You didn’t swallow as you looked at him.

“Open your mouth.” You instructed.

He opened his mouth and you did the same, leaning forward. He strained in his current position, trying to get closer to you. You pushed the saliva out of your mouth, over your bottom lip. The spit dripped down, going directly onto him.

Only some of the spit landed on his waiting tongue. Most of it landed on his skin and you didn’t waste any of your time wiping this up. He furrowed his brow and shut his mouth again, looking wholly frustrated by this scenario.

But you were still enjoying the manifestation of your plan. You wiped a hand across your lips as you rocked your body weight back again. You resumed your grinding upon him.

You found your rhythm, savouring the effects this friction was having on your body. You could see a look in his eyes as he watched you riding his body, this was a look of him wanting to grab and kiss you. He was hungering for more than that drop of saliva had provided. You could see how tense the muscles in his arms were as you continued to deny his desires.

It added to the thrill of the complete control you currently held over him and it made you push yourself down harder on him.

“You’re mine.” You purred.

His response was instant. “Yes.”

“You are mine, Ethan, all of you.” You said. “And that includes those fuckin’ lips.”

“I know.” 

“Those lips are only supposed to go on my lips, all of them.”

“I know, baby.” He said.

You reached for the nightstand and picked up the packet of cigarettes you had left there earlier. You took one out, placing the filtered end between your lips. You collected one of your E.T. marked lighters, turning the little wheel mechanism until the flame appeared. He watched you light the cigarette and take your first drag.

With this task fulfilled, you could concentrate on your rocking again. You continued working your clitoris against his skin, enjoying how the pressure was building inside you.

Holding the cigarette between two fingers, you lowered it down to him. He opened his mouth, allowing you to place the end between his lips. His eyes were locked on you as he inhaled deeply. He puffed out a cloud of smoke before going back for another drag.

Allowing him this indulgence didn’t seem to help with his impatience. He continued to frown and the way the muscles in his arms still visibly strained told you that he was keen for his imprisonment to come to an end.

He stared you down as you brought the cigarette back to your own lips. He was watching you with such intensity - impatient, but not bored.

The cigarette began to lose its importance to you as the rubbing on your clit started to feel even better. The pleasure was swelling up, getting you so much more excited and you were soon picking up speed. Your jaw fell slack as it got more difficult to catch your breath and you held the burning cigarette off to the side. You squeezed your legs tighter against his sides.

“Are you gonna come?” He asked.

You were going faster, using all of your energy as your body filled with giddy tingles. “Fuck, yes.” You relentlessly pushed your cunt against him as that intoxicating friction demanded. “I’m gonna come right here, right on this fuckin’ happy trail.”

His reaction to this was lost to you as you were overcome by the delicious sensations in your body. You squeezed your eyes shut as you twitched yourself up closer to that edge.

One last powerful thrust was all that was needed for the pressure to melt away and you gained your orgasm. It brought a breathless smile to your face as everything fell into place. The friction was resolved and you could still yourself on him, your attention going back to the cigarette, what remained of it.

You let out a deep sigh, the puff of smoke all that you could see when your eyes first fluttered open. You licked your lips, taking yourself off of him as you slowly came back to Earth.

You could see his stiff dick still waiting and craving attention beneath the material of his briefs. Above this, the light from the lamp caught the little streak of moisture that you had left behind, it glistened as he squirmed.

“I should probably clean that up.” You commented through another cloud of smoke. “But I’m not gonna.” He rolled his eyes. “Just like I’m not gonna do anything about how hard that cock is.” The chain between his cuffs rattled. “You’re not getting any. Your punishment is gonna be those blue balls you’ve got…”

“What?” He snapped, the annoyance making his voice so much louder than what was typical. “You’ve got to be joking, you are being absolutely ridiculous-...”

Crack!

It was louder than anything else in the room, getting your attention at once. He had broken off the decorative wooden rung that had been keeping him tethered to the bed’s headboard. He hardly acknowledged this, meanwhile your eyes had grown wide and you were no longer so relaxed.

“You’re so fucking ridiculous.” He said, his teeth bared. As he started to unbuckle the handcuffs, you scooted away from him, heading for the edge of the bed. “Maybe you were cocky enough to think that you’d get away with that. But it’s time for a reality check, baby.”

It felt like it was with all of his strength that he grabbed your arm, his fingers locking around your bicep. Before you could properly react, he was tugging you closer. Your butt slid across the bed covers and he wrapped his other hand around your other arm.

Your heart was pounding in your chest and resisting was the last thing on your mind. He forced you down onto your back and swiftly climbed on top of you. A portion of the pantyhose had tumbled free from his neck, brushing against the side of your face. He braced himself above you, looking at you with the intensity that could start you trembling straight away.

“Now I’m gonna teach you a lesson.” He said. “And I promise that it’s one you aren’t gonna forget anytime soon.”

His iron grip on you relaxed as he sat back. He unwound the pantyhose from around his neck and used these to clean any of the remaining saliva off of his face. Then he tossed them away.

There was a rush of adrenaline inside of you as you began to sit up. “I need to be taught a lesson?”

“Damn right you do.”

You gave your head a little shake. “And what lesson would that be?”

He grabbed you by the arm again and pulled you over to him. You were twisted around by his hands, turned to face away from him before being pulled into his lap. With his hands on your arms, he held you in place.

He spoke directly into your ear. “You’re gonna learn to not start shit that you can’t finish.”

You scoffed. “You clearly weren’t paying attention, ‘cause I did finish.”

“I did notice that. You making your pussy so sensitive like that was a grave mistake, with what I’ve got planned for you.” He said. “But that’s just the beginning. You aren’t gonna be able to walk in the morning.”

All of that sounded truly wonderful to you, especially because you could tell that he meant it. You didn’t care to get free, even when his guard lowered slightly as he took his underwear off.

Your butt was pressed to his lap again and the presence of his uncovered dick was noticed instantly. Your breathing had grown shallower and the anticipation hung in the atmosphere of the room.

He was controlling you with his hands on your hips, squeezing tight enough that you thought bruises would be left. He got you to the right spot and soon the tip of his dick was spreading your sensitive pussy open.

You couldn’t help squirming a little as he stroked himself in deeper. But he kept you in place with an arm locked around your waist. You heard his determined growl next to your ear as more of his length was buried into you.

Your noises were immediate when he started to move inside of you. From beneath you, he set into his desired tempo. Your moans marked his hips striking into your butt as your hands grasped his forearm with a claw-like grip.

He rocked his body back and you were bracing for the next impact, when he surprised you. As effortlessly as if you were nothing but a ragdoll, he was spinning you around. You were repositioned to face him, his hands on your back bringing your chest flush to his. He wrapped one of your legs around his waist and held it here as fucked deep into you again.

“Unf, Ethan.” You whimpered, clinging to him.

You felt totally out of control as you bounced in his lap. The friction was unbelievable, going straight to your head. In the intense pleasure, you were losing all thoughts, simply going with the momentum he was determinedly maintaining.

“You’re having fun learning this lesson, hm?” He asked, squeezing your body to his as you whined. “Good, because I’m not stopping until I’ve rearranged your fuckin’ guts.”

Your bodies writhed together, you were thrown off of your rhythm when your face was suddenly spat upon. You flinched in response to the drops of saliva hitting your skin.

Before you knew it, you were being moved. He took you out of his lap and you were pushed down onto the bed, flat on your back. You were left gasping for breath, the adrenaline pumping through you and you understood that this was far from over.

He flicked his loose hair back, away from his face as he placed himself on top of you. But he didn’t instantly resume his invigorated jackhammering into you.

Instead, you saw a moment of calm in his eyes as he scanned your face. The gentleman that he truly was won out briefly as he allowed you to regain your bearings, checking that you were alright amongst this feral energy.

You spurred him on for more, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him down, bringing him in for kisses. As he kissed you back, he buried his length deeper inside of you. He kept your leg wrapped around his waist.

Excitedly, you sucked on his lower lip. But this was cut short when he shifted his body weight and sat up.

At this new angle, he could grind into you even harder and you were soon grabbing for the bedsheets. He arched his back, his body tensed as he resumed his speedy pounding forward.

Your hands wildly shook and you could feel the pressure building up inside of you. It was more powerful than before, making you feel as if the release was going to break you apart. You were consumed by his passion, with all of your energy going into keeping up with his rhythm.

He grabbed your other leg and guided it straight up, your ankle resting at his broad shoulder. As he continued plunging into you, you felt your elevated foot beginning to shake free of the shoe. You let the high heel fall, tumbling onto the bed behind him.

You shut your eyes, daunted by the edge that you could feel him pushing you up to. “Baby, I’m close.”

“Yes.” He hissed. “Me too. Gonna come inside you.”

“Yes.” Your response was half-shouted. “Come inside of me.”

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.” His energetic bucking was matched to his impassioned little chant.

You twitched and spasmed beneath his powerful body, making your loudest sounds of the night. It was all beyond your control, feeling as if your body was filled with an electric charge. Your cunt clenched around his cock, drawing more mind-blowing sensations from every collision.

“Oh, fuck…” He moaned and you could feel his hot cum starting to shoot between your sensitive walls.

You writhed up into him, crying out when this brought out your release. With a tremble, you felt all of the tension inside of you snap, your own cum springing forward. Soon, your thighs were feeling wet, but you were too lost in the afterglow to care. Your legs went limp as the room was swallowed up by silence.

When you finally lifted your head from the pillow, it was to find him sitting by the end of the bed. His eyes were on you as he slowly drank from a bottle of water. You could see a cocky smile tugging at his cheek as he took in the sight of your nakedness.

“My lesson was better than yours.” He said confidently.

“I didn’t know we were having a competition.”

“If that’s how you cope with your loss…” He said.

“How did I lose?”

“I’m just saying that I didn’t see any squirt when you were done on my tummy, teaching your lesson or whatever. But after my lesson…” His smile remained as he took a pause to look at your cunt. “I felt that squirt, and I can see more than just my mess dripping out of you right now…”

“Okay, so maybe you won. Does that mean you aren’t gonna share any water with me?”

He sat forward at once. “Of course not.” He joined you at the head of the bed and handed the bottle over to you. He gently wiped the drops of spit from your face and you could tell that his stormy mood was totally gone.

“The moment you stop fucking me like that, is the moment I’m leaving you.”

“Noted.” He said with a chuckle.

“But you don’t need to worry about me going anywhere ‘cause I’m not gonna be able to walk in the morning, or maybe for the whole day.” You teased.

“Am I supposed to feel sorry for you? My lesson was better.” He said. He laid down next to you and his eyes seemed larger than before as he looked at you. “You’re okay, right?”

“What are you talking about? Of course I am.” You said, removing your shoe and throwing it away from the bed.

“I just really want to make sure that you aren’t pissed off or actually hurt over me and Victoria kissing for that photo.” He said. “Because she was worried after, that it crossed a line. But I just assumed that you would know it meant absolutely nothing because you’re the only one for me and you know that. But if you want me to apologise, then I’m happy to.”

You picked his hand up in yours, your fingers naturally interlacing. “You don’t have to apologise. I’m not angry at Vic, in fact, I really like her. I think she’s cool. I was there, I saw how manufactured and staged that moment was. But I’m not gonna pass up an opportunity to put you in place and remind you who you belong to.”

“You’re the only one I wanna kiss.” He said, holding your hand between both of his.

“Good.”

“But maybe I should suggest kissing for future photos, if this is the revenge that I get.” He said. “No, seriously, when you first turned that light on and I saw you- I was ready to do whatever you said. You just looked incredible, so damn hot. I felt really lucky, really fucking lucky. But then you made me suffer.”

“You didn’t have to take that out on the bed.”

He cocked an eyebrow as he looked at you. “Didn’t I?”

“No, you destroyed the headboard.” You said, pointing to the missing rung. “Are we gonna get in trouble for breaking the bed?”

He shook his head. “No, it’ll be fine. We’ll make up some lie about how it happened, I’m sure it won’t cost that much to repair. We barely broke it.” He looked at you, smiling. “You know that you and me could really ruin this bed if we wanted to…”

»»————-　♡　————-««

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[anthonybialy]

Verdict Rendered on Defendant Joe Biden

We’ll think today sucks a decade from now if the country survives that long.  It’ll probably still be around in name even if it’s more like the United Welfare States.  Credit the guy who doesn’t know what’s happening for all he doesn’t remember doing.  Joe Biden’s legacy won’t be inflated, as it’s unlike money while someone else enforced his ideology.  A time cushion is unnecessary.  It’s safe to judge now that he can watch Woody Woodpecker every morning and not have it affect national security.

Pretending life is generally terrific is one way of coping with how awful it is.  Life sucking is its primary feature, which is why those who exacerbate crummy conditions are particularly demonic.  Buying less the more money they print is a devilish detail.

Who could like him?  Respect for Biden even after his presidency’s nearly complete offers testament to how deluded humans can be.  Democrats warp reality to the degree that they praise the nasty oaf who ruined their lives.  I know they’re masochistic, but now they’re just parodying themselves.

The one worse thing than President Grampy’s rather advanced age is the awful ideology he’s had since being young.  Ideas that had been discredited before he was born show that personal age is irrelevant to idiots.  Accumulating wisdom doesn’t happen automatically like birthdays.

Youngsters who could figure out what he never has inspire by showing how it doesn’t take turning 80 or winning the presidency to figure out life.  Sharp kindergarteners could be taught why printing money doesn’t make people rich.  Biden remains a remedial student.  Even if you’re in your ninth decade, don’t forget to keep your sense of wonder.  He doesn’t have a choice.

The technical president is a statesman in the sense he’s a man from a state.  It’s Delaware, in case anyone hasn’t heard.  As for the most poetic sense, other world leaders are playing poker in the Oval Office while they’re assured of bluffing to victory.  Liberals whose entire ideology is based on claiming awesome things happen as a result of their awful policies are sure their latest beloved presidential nitwit exudes dignity.  Meanwhile, he forgot to tie his bathrobe shut.

Biden spent lifetime in government and is still awful at it.  Like taking money from those who earned it so politicians can spend it to make the economy awesome, the next time is bound to work.  We got all the bad tries out of the way, which means we made our own luck.

Imagine how badly he would’ve failed in the private sector to rue his lack of achievements.  Companies beholden to customers embody everything he stands against.  Biden’s only usefulness comes in showing why everything he believes and represents is steaming toxic radioactive trash, so at least he did one nice thing.

The lack of surprise doesn’t make agony less acute.  Biden has been wrong about every issue over a half-century or so of selflessly getting rich while harming the country.  A public servant who’s never served the public stood against American interests from American offices in a take on patriotism that’s at least novel.

Anyone remotely familiar with finances, humanity, and reality always knew how rotten his economic ideas were, and he proved everyone who noticed right when he got to pull every lever and press every button in the Oval Office.  It might not have been a professional conman’s goal to weaken the nation if you’re feeling generous about assessing his motives, but that was the result either way.

An office-filler doesn’t need to have a productive or interesting life out of government.  But the temp needs to care about more than grifting in order to achieve anything half-worthwhile.  By contrast, there’s Biden.  His consistently deplorable decisions show a sociopath who’s wholly lacking in empathy.  This incomplete term has been helpful in illustrating why Democrats continually claim to be so compassionate, namely to overcompensate.

Perspective is going to make woe more acute.  You’d think tough times seeming worse would be impossible, but this is the same president who thinks declaring a product is free means nobody has to pay.  Aching doesn’t dissipate with policies this unfortunate.  We can’t escape pain through the years going by, which is one of the few cures for life’s woes.  Biden even ruined the spacetime continuum.  

Time can change everything.  That’s except for screwing up everything.  Some presidents are popular for successes they have in office.  Others make difficult decisions during tough times where the cushion of years allows for shines upon their legacies.  Biden is going to be the unique leader who was awful at the time and will be seen as even worse.  Creating something unprecedented is great as long as you don’t care about anything like context.

Doctor Biden’s husband made life unaffordable, which is a feat of sorts.  A country created to allow free trade doesn’t have much of either of those things.  Resilient Americans have learned how much infringement we can endure, so thank him for the test of strength even if he won’t remember.

Thinking about the dreadfulness from a future outlook helps get through the agony now.  Tomorrow doesn’t interest those giving away money today.  Biden declaring he’s started a decline that would keep him from being effective by early 2029 is the least worrisome thing about him dropping out.  The problem is how clearly doltish he was when he won.

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

Below a readmore because the pics are gross. They show why I'm having a hard time standing and walking. Fair warning: it's really gross medical stuff.

I've had plantar warts for 13 years, a progressively worsening limp for ten years, have received liquid nitrogen treatments, prescription wart removal cream, and OTC plantar wart medicine. None of it made much difference.

For the last couple months, I've been seeing a podiatrist who specializes in plantar warts. He finds them fascinating and loves getting rid of them. Mine was one of the worst cases he's had in years. My left big toe had a mosaic wart, which is basically a cluster fuck of little warts all grouped together, and it was huge. It covered the entire squishy part of my toe. I had another mosaic wart on the middle toe of that foot. Plus individual warts on thr balls of both feet and several toes.

DO NOT LOOK UP PHOTOS OF PLANTAR WARTS!!! Unless that's something you're interested in.

Walking has felt like I have gravel embedded in my feet.

The current treatment has had immediate improvements...after recovering from the treatment. The doctor scrapes away layers of skin until I bleed. Then he applies acid from an acid beetle, and wraps up the wound with bandaids. Day of it doesn't hurt much. Day two? The blister has had time to form, because it does blister. Holy fuck. The first treatment was the most painful.

Here's what they look like today. This may possibly be the last treatment I receive because the podiatrist is 99% sure he got all of them, but we're being extra sure.

They itch and hurt!!! Worth it though.

When these are declared resolved and gone, I'm buying a pair of walking shoes. I currently own just one pair of shoes: $10 plastic sandals from Walmart that I can soak in bleach. The warts are caused by one of the more than 60 types of HPV, so I bleach thr tub after my showers, steam mop the floor, and tossed out all my other shoes because I would have just re-contaminated and re-infected myself. Nope. Fuck that.

Where did I acquire this in the first place? I took a yoga class and the teacher refused to let any of us wear socks. All thr yoga mats were shared, smelled like feet, and she insisted we all be barefoot to "truly connect." A month later, warts appeared on my feet. I had no idea how I got them until a previous doctor asked if I had been barefoot in a public area. Public pools, public bathrooms with showers, gym showers and locker rooms, all of them are great places to pick this nasty virus up. They can live on a surface e for years! All they need is for someone with cracked/wounded/soft skin to step on them.

These blisters will peel off in a week, and I'll see the podiatrist in two weeks to see if this has all been resolved. I look forward to walking again, and unlearning my limp. Hmmm...I should ask my PCP for a physical therapy referral. 10 years of limping has fucked me up something fierce.

[dawnsbreaking]

Lottie couldn’t fathom why the coffee shop she worked at was even open. Snow was pouring down outside, the roads were abysmal, every other barista on the closing shift had called out for the day, and even the owners had taken off early. - marilottie coffee shop AU, holiday exchange fic prompts: chocolate, "I'll do it, but only because you asked."

holiday exchange fic for @aislinnstanaka pairing: marisol/lottie (litg) word count: 2,302 read on ao3

Lottie couldn’t fathom why the coffee shop she worked at was even open. Snow was pouring down outside, the roads were abysmal, every other barista on the closing shift had called out for the day, and even the owners had taken off early.

Staying open for a handful of broke college students that lived within walking distance couldn’t possibly be worth paying the electricity bill for the lights and espresso machines, let alone Lottie's salary.

To cope with having to close the shop alone, Lottie reminded herself that the slow business meant that she was technically being paid to read a book behind the counter and play games on her phone. With free coffee.

There were worse ways to spend an evening.

Peaceful silence, though, was meant to be broken. The bell rang, signalling that someone had entered the café and Lottie looked up to see who it was.

The girl was bundled to high heaven. Lottie had to stifle a laugh to remain a level of professionalism. She was at work, after all, even if she had been scrolling through social media in an empty café for the past three hours.

“Cold out?” Lottie asked, maintaining a pleasant enough tone that the girl would likely miss her sarcasm.

“It’s dry snow, at least.” The girl took off her glasses, cleaning them with the hem of her sweater before replacing them. “I’m going to take off my coat before I order if that’s alright.”

Lottie shrugged, glancing pointedly at all of the empty tables. “Take all the time you need.”

She returned to her phone, feeling awkward watching the girl take off her coat. Despite being a little dorky, the girl seemed nice enough. Lottie only resented her for the fact that she’d have to actually make a drink.

“I’m glad you’re open,” the girl said when she returned to the till, “I was worried I’d make the trek down the street for nothing.”

“That makes one of us,” Lottie said, “you’re the first person I’ve seen in ages.”

“Sorry to disturb your evening, then.” The girl blushed, then shook herself. “Could I get a mocha, please? For here. The largest you’ve got.”

Lottie held up a large ceramic mug, nearly the size of a cereal bowl, that she sometimes offered to customers when she was feeling either silly or generous. She was feeling neither at the moment, only a desire to avoid making loads of drinks for this girl. The giant mug front-loaded all the labour.

The girl giggled. “Sure, that’ll do.”

“Anything else?” Lottie gave her a pained smile.

“No, that’s all.”

“Can I get a name for the order?”

The girl quirked an eyebrow. “There’s no one else here.”

“Protocol.” Really, Lottie was just curious, wanting a name to curse in the back of her mind for making her actually have to do her job. And whether or not the girl knew that, she didn’t particularly care.

“Marisol,” the girl said. Marisol paid for her drink then dropped a few crumpled notes in the tip jar as a peace offering.

“Be right out, love.” Lottie watched with a frown as Marisol returned to her table and began unpacking her things. It seemed she was preparing to be there for a while.

A meager tip couldn’t buy Lottie out of her bad mood, though. She flicked on the milk frother, nearly scalding herself with steam in her hurry. Two pumps of the chocolate syrup made it into the mug, but the third landed squarely on Lottie's sleeve.

This girl had her in such a tizzy, no one would guess she'd been making coffee at this exact machine in this exact shop for the last year.

Marisol. She thought the name with a nasty intonation.

"One mocha for Marisol," she said, sweetly, emphasizing the alliteration. 

-

Marisol thanked the barista, Lottie, according to her name tag, for the drink. She was appreciative of the larger mug, but part of her worried that she’d spill the drink on the way back to her seat.

Lottie’s intense aura was threatening enough to make Marisol instantly self-conscious. It didn’t help that she was the only person in the café. There was nowhere to hide in the rows of empty tables.

She did her best to ignore Lottie, laying out her textbooks next to her laptop and opening her bag of pens and highlighters. At least it would be quiet. These places were usually packed during finals week, but the snow had kept everyone at bay.

“Let me know if you need anything else,” Lottie called over, “I’ll just be over here.”

“Got it!” Marisol smiled back, giving an appreciative nod, even though she sensed a sarcastic tinge to Lottie’s kindness.

It wasn’t as difficult to ignore Lottie once she put on her headphones and pressed play on her studying playlist. Marisol, in the last year of her pre-law degree, had three finals for the next week. And all of them were for some of the most difficult classes she’d ever taken. It would be a miracle if this finals season didn’t kill her.

I'm a paying customer, Marisol reminded herself when she felt Lottie staring at her again, I have every right to be here.

She looked up at Lottie, smiled, and returned to her studies.

The coffee, once it had cooled enough that Marisol could drink it, was good, at least. Despite the menacing glares from the artisan who had crafted it, the mocha was done just how she liked it. She'd forgotten to ask for one less pump of chocolate syrup, intimidated by the barista, but it still hadn't been made too sweet.

She took a sip of the drink for every page she read, powering through the designated chapter of her textbook with renowned vigor. She'd made it through half the chapter—and a quarter of her drink—when she was interrupted with a tap on the shoulder.

“I’m going to sweep the floors,” Lottie told her. “Would you mind if I got under your table?”

Marisol huffed, annoyed at having been derailed when she was finally starting to get some work done.

“Sure.”

“Thank you,” Lottie scooted the chairs out. “Sorry to bother you.”

Wordlessly, Marisol returned to her studying, pressing play on her music again. She blushed, trying her best to ignore the barista sweeping under her feet. It was odd, the way she reacted to Lottie’s presence.

Marisol wasn’t a nervous person, usually. She prided herself on her poker face, knowing she’d make a good lawyer someday because of her ability to keep cool under pressure. All it took, turned out, was one snippy barista to have her completely unraveled.

She turned to look out the window, letting her eyes settle anywhere but on the witch with the broom at her feet. She startled when a streak of black jumped out of the snow.

“What?” Lottie frowned down at Marisol’s outburst.

“There was something in the snow.”

The blush creeping across Marisol’s cheeks worsened and she hoped that the thing would reappear, keeping her from feeling totally stupid. As if the universe had granted her one wish, the thing jumped out from the snow again, pouncing on a falling snowflake.

It was a cat.

“Oh my god.” Lottie laughed, surprised. “I won’t lie, I thought you were losing it.”

-

Lottie watched the little black cat through the window as it rolled in the snow, giggling, despite herself at the sight.

“It’s cute,” Marisol said, discarding her headphones to go to the window. “And probably cold.”

“Well, I’m not letting it in.” Lottie put a hand on her hip.

As cute as the cat was, she wasn’t keen on cat hair getting on the tables.

Marisol pouted. “But it’ll freeze.”

“What if I get in trouble?” Lottie said. Truthfully, the owners probably wouldn’t mind unless a patron complained. And Lottie would be surprised if anyone else came in for the rest of the night. They were already only a few hours out from closing and the snow was still coming down.

“Tell the owners it followed me in.”

Lottie frowned. “What if it hops up on the tables?”

“I’ll keep an eye out,” Marisol pleaded. “Please?”

“Urgh, fine.” Lottie stomped to the door and flung it open, letting the cat in along with a gust of cold air. “Only because you asked nicely.”

Really, Lottie wasn’t sure why she’d given in so easily. A few minutes ago she’d started sweeping the lobby of the café just to annoy Marisol into leaving, and now she was letting a stray cat in just to keep her from pouting. 

Where had her backbone gone?

Marisol watched with a smile on her face as the cat pranced into the shop. The cat stopped at Lottie’s legs, brushing up against her black jeans.

“Aw, she likes you,” Marisol cooed.

Lottie had always attracted cats. Strays followed her home from work more days than they didn’t. She wasn’t amused, though. This cat wasn’t going to get on her good side so easily.

“Are you going to take her home? Because she’s not welcome here after hours.”

“I might do.” Marisol crossed her arms. “I don’t want to leave her out in the cold…”

“Right.” Lottie sighed. “Just… Keep her off the tables.”

-

Before long, the cat—Marisol had taken to calling her Mocha after the drink she kept lunging after—had fallen asleep on the bench seat, resting its head in Marisol’s lap. Mocha’s company was much preferable to the moody barista’s, though Lottie had seemed to soften since letting the cat in.

There was something going on between them that Marisol couldn’t quite put her finger on. First they’d been at odds and tense, then, enter the cat, and something shifted. Lottie was trying to keep up the grumpy and aloof mood of before, but Marisol kept catching her smiling at the sleeping cat.

Another hour passed, of Marisol working and Lottie pretending not to fawn over Mocha, and Marisol pretending she didn’t see Lottie’s smiles.

Finally, Marisol grew tired of the charade.

“Do you have lots of work to do? You could come sit over here, if you want.”

“I wouldn’t want to disturb you,” Lottie said. Which wasn’t ‘no’.

Marisol gave Lottie a friendly smile, trying her best to communicate that there was no more ill will between them. “You’re ogling the cat.”

“I’m not ogling…” Lottie huffed. “Fine.”

She tossed a dish towel aside and picked up her book, bringing it to the table where she sat on the bench seat. She sat gently, so as not to disturb sleeping Mocha.

It was so clear to Marisol that Lottie was much softer than she let on. Which was a strange observation to have of a stranger, but something about Lottie just made sense to Marisol. She could see right through her. And just beneath the surface, she was a secret sweetheart.

“Isn’t she sweet?” Marisol asked, because she didn’t know Lottie well enough to say anything more substantive. Even if she felt like she knew Lottie a little. Even if, dizzyingly, she realized that she wanted to know Lottie better.

“I suppose she is.” Lottie reached out, tentatively petting the soft fur on Mocha’s back. “She’s also loitering.”

“She had a sip of my mocha if that helps her case.”

After a beat, Lottie laughed. She seemed surprised that Marisol was making a joke. “Did she really?”

Marisol giggled. “No, but not for lack of trying.”

The girls sat in silence for a moment, Marisol caught Lottie’s gaze. She almost sighed audibly at the way the girl’s eyes twinkled. Lottie was pretty when she wasn’t being rude.

“Have you thought of a name for her?” Lottie asked, looking back down to the cat. There was a pink tinge growing on her cheeks, though Marisol could almost convince herself she’d imagined it.

“Mocha,” Marisol said, “for attempted mocha-stealing crimes.”

“That’s cute.”

“I thought so.”

Lottie hummed, patted Mocha again. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

For just a moment, Marisol was unsure whether Lottie was speaking to her or to Mocha. She shook her head and returned to her work. Surely, she meant the cat.

- I hope you enjoyed this, Iris! I would have never written this pairing if it weren't for the prompt, so I hope I did them justice <3

thank you to Sarah and Margot for organizing this exchange, I'm so excited to read what everyone's put together!!