#i had this typed in response to a post and thought i didnt want to get the ire of the blogger and get insta blocked so

[miumura]

BITTERSWEET DELUSIONS — JAY ONESHOT

— you still exist in jay’s world. you’re still here, he believes, yet he doesn’t want to face the real truth. you’ll still stick with him, right?

pairing ⋆ 𖦹 ‧ best friend!jay x best friend!fem reader

(_ _ ) . . z Z % genre : angst, best friends to ???

warnings : mentions of diagnosis of disorder

feat. ᥫ᭡ : jake (enhypen) | word count : 1.4K (1408 words)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 — no way, soph is going on a posting streak??? only the proofreaders remember this fic 🙏 LMAO idk why i didnt post this sooner — i kinda forgot about it and would always scroll right past it in my drafts (or i never see it cause i dont scroll that far down) this has been stuck in drafts since may 25 2023 😊 BUT this is finally released !

"Whoever loses has to buy lunch for the other person!" Your words echoed as you sprinted along the sidewalk. Glancing behind, you noticed Jay's bewildered expression while you dashed ahead. The black cat keychain swung side to side with each stride you took.

"That's not fair! You started running first!" Jay remarked, observing your increasing distance with a smirk. As usual, he swiftly caught up, transitioning from being far behind to directly trailing you. His sudden voice surprised you, causing a gasp to escape your lips.

"How did you—?" Before you could finish, Jay leaped onto you, causing both of you to tumble onto the ground. Instead of getting upset, laughter erupted from both of you. Clutching your sides and still pinned beneath Jay, you playfully nudged him aside.

Feigning offense, Jay's expression elicited more laughter from you. He smiled, captivated by your radiant smile and how you wiped away tears of joy. He wished he could witness this pretty sight every day.

"Shall we start over?" you proposed, smirking once more.

Beep Beep.

Jay's eyes shot open, startled by the sudden sight. He gasped for air, his heart racing. Anxiously, he fumbled for the towel placed beside his bed, using it to dab away the sweat clinging to his forehead. Tossing it back in place, he sat on the edge of the bed, feeling a sense of emptiness wash over him.

Oh how he could wish he could start over with you.

With groggy eyes, he tries to make out the numbers on his digital clock.

9:15 AM.

He sighed, rubbing his eyes. He had another dream about you, a bittersweet one. Or, should he call it a nightmare? Every time he dreams about you, a wave of guilt crushes over him, even if it’s not his fault. Staring at the blank expanse of his white wall, he reluctantly rose to begin his day.

Jay made his way to the bathroom, methodically rolling up his sleeves. As he turned on the tap, he cupped his hands to splash water on his face, revitalizing his senses. Wiping the water off his face, he noticed a new notification on his phone. Curiosity piqued, he glanced at the screen to find a text from Jake, compelling him to click and read the message.

“You wanna meet up?”

Grasping his phone, Jay contemplated his response. After thoughtful consideration, he finally typed out his reply, observing the words before hitting send: "Sure, where?" Suddenly, with a plan to hang out and no longer a day filled with nothing, a sigh of relief escaped his lips. Placing his phone on the counter, he resumed his morning routine, knowing that today held a purpose.

Running a comb through his hair, he meticulously arranged each strand, allowing them to gracefully cascade across his face.

It's a hairstyle you adored on him, often playfully brushing the strands away and commenting on how handsome he looked.

As he selects his attire, he opts for a simple combination of beige pants and a brown cardigan, a wistful sigh escaping his lips.

The colors hold a special significance, reminiscent of the times you praised how well they suited him. In an attempt to hold onto a piece of your presence, he chooses to wear lighter shades day after day.

Preparing to leave the house, he reaches for his cologne, spritzing a few times with a bittersweet smile.

Jay recalls how you held strong opinions about his fragrance choices, finding some too subtle and others too overpowering. However, this particular scent held a special place in your heart, and he remembers the joy it brought you. Since you mentioned it, he always made sure to keep that bottle in his possession, a subtle gesture made solely for you.

Exhaustion engulfed him, as the burden of the world settled upon his shoulders, relentlessly crushing his spirit. The weight of it all became insurmountable, rendering him a prisoner within the confines of his own room.

Every breath felt like a futile struggle, an agonizing reminder of the impossibility of escape from the torment inflicted by your absence.

Ignoring his thoughts, Jay steps outside his house, a rush of nostalgia flooding his senses as he inserts earbuds into his ears. The gentle caress of a fresh breeze momentarily grants him a fleeting sensation of freedom, but it quickly gives way to a surge of overwhelming emotions.

Each stride feels burdened, as if his body rebels against venturing into a world that still echoes with your memory, causing a subtle frown to etch upon his face. It serves as a constant reminder of the connection he once shared, amplifying the weight of your disappearance.

Despite knowing deep down that you wanted something better for him, Jay finds himself trapped in the inability to move on. He's trying with all his might, and today is no exception.

As he crosses the bustling streets, a soft, melancholic melody seeps through his earbuds, the gentle beats mirroring the fragments of you slipping away, gradually causing him to lose himself in the process. The sidewalks grow increasingly crowded, forcing Jay to navigate through the swarm of people, squeezing his way past them in a bid to move forward.

Placing his earbuds back into their case, he retrieves his phone and scrolls through his contacts until he finds Jake's name. With a mix of anticipation, he dials the number and brings the phone to his ear, the ringing echoing on the other end. His gaze scans the surroundings, desperately searching for any sign of his best friend's familiar presence.

Amidst the sea of faces, Jay's eyes lock onto a figure in the distance, stirring a glimmer of hope within him. Squinting, he desperately tries to discern the features, momentarily believing it to be Jake. But as he looks again, his heart sinks. It's not Jake; it's someone else entirely. Yet, their back, the way they stand, the clothes they wear—everything resembles you, frozen in time since the day you vanished. His eyes widened in disbelief, momentarily forgetting the call with Jake.

It was you.

There was no denying that that black keychain was yours, you guys had matching ones.

He could spot it anywhere, he knows.

Igniting an urgent determination, Jay pushes through the crowd, disregarding the pleas of his best friend on the other end of the line. He runs closer, his voice cracking as he calls out, desperately pleading for people to clear a path, oblivious to their bewildered gazes and startled reactions.

All that matters in that moment is the possibility of finding you, of reuniting, even if just for a fleeting second.

“Y/N!”

No response.

“Y/N!”

No response still. Just you moving farther and farther from him.

Farther.

and Farther.

He's on the verge of reaching you, his heart pounding in his chest, but among the overwhelming crowds flooding the streets, he loses sight of you. A rasping cough escapes his throat, his vision blurred by tears, and the last glimpse he ever catches is of your retreating back.

All he could see was your keychain, swinging from side to side. But this time, he couldn’t chase after you.

He can’t see your face again, can’t hear your laugh again, and can’t hear you request for another race.

You had won.

You had finally won the race.

So, why do you keep leaving him?

Why can't you simply return and reassure him that everything will be alright?

“Jay? Jay, listen to me.” a voice pierces through the haze, calling him back to reality.

He lifts his gaze from the black cat keychain in his hand, finding his psychologist looking at him with a gentle smile.

Confusion mingles with emptiness as he sits in the suffocating confines of a small room, engaging in a conversation he has no desire to partake in.

"Where's Y/N?" he finally manages to utter, his voice tinged with desperation, causing a slight frown to crease the psychologist's brow.

"She's not here anymore, Jay," the psychologist responds, and an irritated expression flickers across Jay's face, disbelief etched in his features.

"No, she is. She's still here!" he insists, his voice growing louder, his anxiety showing up with his bitten, peeled lips. "You just don't understand!" He confronts his helper with a mix of aggression and frustration, seeking validation.

“She’s going to come back. I just saw her earlier—even though she disappeared before I could talk to her, I know she’ll come back to see me.”

His psychologist sighs, holding onto their clipboard. Clicking onto their pen, they swiftly scribbled the words:

Delusional Disorder.

ENHA PERM TAGLIST (1) — @flwoie @ixomiyu @haruavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @ml8dy @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @hyeosi @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @isoobie @skzenhalove @misokei @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise @litttlestars @enhapocketz

[gunnrblze]

Roommate!Hesh

Hello friends. This is my first actual lil piece of writing I’m posting (in this fandom, on this account lol). I’m debating turning it into a full fledged fic, so if you’re intrigued by that I’d love to know! Not to abase myself or anything, but my writing is quite mid lmfao, I just enjoy my silly thoughts n ideas so here you go :)

•1k+ words, SFW, could possibly be read as some slight stalker-ish behavior if you squint, but nothing actually dark like that! The man is just down bad :(

You weren’t exactly sold on living with a stranger yet. Especially not some army guy, but you had little choice.

Desperately needing a roommate after moving to Santa Monica, a friend mentioning a friend of theirs who has a brother. A brother who happens to be looking for a roommate too.

You trusted your friends judgement enough to pursue the recommendation. Figuring that living with a special forces soldier could either be pleasantly uneventful, or a dumpster fire, based on what you knew of the type.

But David, or Hesh as everyone reportedly calls him, was decent. Clean, respectful, kind when he toured you around the apartment. The near boyish charm that laced itself between his heavy presence may have caught your attention.

But a fling, especially with a new roommate, was not what you needed.

Your room was smaller than his, but having gotten to the apartment second to him, you understood first come first served. You just enjoyed the in-unit washer and dryer and stainless steel appliances, if you were being honest.

The apprehension you had, the hang ups of starting a new chapter, moving in with someone you only just met through a friend of a friend, started to dissipate sooner than anticipated. Instead filled in by a dull surprise.

Hesh worked pretty often, but even when he wasn’t around, it’s as if he were still there.

His section of chores always finished, some of yours even started or done completely for you. You asked him about it after divvying up the household responsibilities, making sure you weren’t confused.

But he insisted it was “no biggie”, he’d just found himself taking the trash out on his way to work. Tidying the kitchen up after he got home in the middle of the night and cooked himself an impossibly late dinner.

Said dinner he left in the fridge the next morning, a sticky note on top explaining that you should finish it up so it doesn’t go bad.

Leftovers usually kept for days though, didn’t they?

His boots by the front door, the smell of his aftershave somehow lingering everywhere throughout the apartment, his hat left in the bathroom and the goddamned coasters that he insisted be used around the living room.

When he wasn’t there, it felt like he was. A ghost permeating the walls. His broad frame, tall and wide, voice deep, green eyes that somehow always landed on you when he was near. They weren’t quite unsettling eyes, they were penetrating. As if he could see what lie inside you, too.

But when he was there, it felt almost arresting. Interrupting. You barely knew him, only lived with him for a few weeks.

But you weren’t sure whether you could tell if it even felt that way anymore.

Anything he bought, you were free to use or eat. Was he just that nice? Your old roommates wouldn’t let you touch their things with a 10 foot pole. But what was his seemed to be yours in a way, too.

You chalked it up to him being an eldest child. But you weren’t merely being treated like a younger sibling.

Your Netflix subscription ended and you didnt want to spend the money to renew it, but it didn’t matter because Hesh had Netflix too. Which meant you had it.

Hesh had every kind of household tool one could need in his toolbox, which meant that you had them now too.

Except you couldn’t use them. Because he’d fix whatever you needed. Hang up any picture frame of yours on your wall as you started to decorate your space. And you merely let him, somehow unable to insist that you could indeed, handle it.

It was only natural when he’d asked if you wanted breakfast one morning, explaining that he made too much food. Too much of your favorite food. Or when he not so subtly watched how you made your tea, filing it away in his brain so he could bring you a cup one day when you were sick in bed.

And then some cough drops. And soup. And cold medicine.

Maybe you felt a bit like a guest at a bed and breakfast, or maybe he was just raised decently.

When the washing machine broke, he took a look at it before you could even bring it up to him, was he listening to you in the laundry room? Hard to say. Fixed it so you could do your loads of laundry.

But not before letting you borrow a t-shirt of his, since all your clothes were dirty, of course. You’d obviously have to wash the one you had on, too.

You thought you were surely screwed when your car broke down outside of work one day. But when you texted Hesh and asked if he knew of a good mechanic. he was, naturally, already in the area just running errands.

So he took a look at your car while you stood to the side and watched. Making a point not to watch his biceps flex around the ring of his t-shirt sleeve, or the way he brushed the sweat off his forehead.

Surely you were paying attention to his explanation of the drive belt in your car being too wore out, and not the way his fatigues stretched over the meat of his thighs.

Why was he in his work uniform if he was just running errands? You didn’t think about it very much.

Your job had been stressing you so much, and it appeared something like second nature for him to wrap you into a hug, rubbing his hand up and down your back, murmuring things that seemed too dulcet for a roommate of hardly even a month to soothe you with. Even though it helped.

He was always there, his magnetism suffocating. But not in the way that two hands might feel around your neck. But in the way the sunshine feels beating down on you. The way you feel tipsy before feeling fully drunk, charged but blissful.

Pleasantly inescapable.

You didn’t really stop to fully question his comforts though, not when he made you a cup of tea and put a movie on in the living room, sitting a bit too close to you.

Not that you minded of course, considering you fell asleep with your head on his shoulder.

And what kind of roommate would he be if he didn’t pick you up and tote you off to your bedroom? He knew you were half awake, and you knew he knew, but it didn’t matter.

With one arm hooked under your knees and the other around your back, your face that didn’t need to be pressed to his chest, it just didn’t matter.

Because what kind of roommate would he be if he didn’t lay you in your bed and cover you up, setting your alarms on your phone so you’d wake up the following morning?

How did he know your passcode? How did he know exactly what alarms you set?

It didn’t really matter to you after he kissed your head goodnight.

[presiding]

I'm not a new follower and I've been here long enough but i do have a relatively bad memory

So I've wanted to ask, what's your opinion on "Dishonored: death of the outsider"?

Right now I'm replaying Dishonored games not in the release order, i already finished DH2 and started Daud dlcs. Maybe I'll go for vanilla DH later

But thoughts about going through death of the outsider again makes me feel something that i can't explain... 😬

It has some interesting ideas but antagonists are underused. Locations repeat a lot. And Billie herself deserved SO much better than whatever is going on with her character

I'm genuinely debating if i should revisit *this* one or pretend that DH2 is the last game. I know that some people love DOTO but i can't find strength in me

love to chat about death of the outsider, ty for the ask!

i feel your pain. it's the one game i struggle to revisit. but! i was thinking about your points and how DotO has the feel of budget cuts.

it's been about a year since my last DotO post - so, essay time -

a measured response to common DotO criticisms

(the thousand bugs of dishonored 2 I had borne as I best could, but when doto ventured upon sidelining billie and retconning daud's arc I vowed revenge*

*can't resist a cask of amontillado joke

criticism is easy and creation is hard, so, if this isn't the type of response you wanted, you can read my other DotO posts:

how i'd write death of the outsider

that post i did after trying to play doto a third time and couldn't make it past the opening scene (you might like my tags on this re: your comment "makes me feel something i can't explain")

billie lurk as a nonprotagonist & misogynoir (more on this below...)

gonna leapfrog off your comments cause I agree!

antagonists are underused/locations repeat a lot.

who is steering the boat?

let's start up at the top; everything stems from there.

DotO was caught up in ownership/transition issues. here's an article about harvey smith and raphael colantanio at that time. if you didnt know, colantonio is the main founder of arkane (semi-related but just for fun look his appearance up then go through arkane's protags and tell me what you notice...).

quote from harvey smith re: DotO -

“Then, just as I move back, [Colantonio is] announcing that he’s leaving. Going forward, I’ll focus more and more on the Austin studio and what we’re going to do there. Death of the Outsider is my wrapping up with the guys in Lyon – the first half of that we planned together while I was living there, but the second half was worked on while I was living in Austin. I’ve been communicating with them through video conferences and stuff, so they carry a lot of the load of the second half of it.”

so the founder jumped ship and the co-creative director has to step away from his usual position (over to sinking ship Austin). meanwhile, DotO is still in development. i'm a big believer in people making art, and not companies (even in this article Smith acknowledges much of their "secret sauce" can be traceable to specific devs but i digress)

$$$ kaching - some speculation

on the note of founders - past this point in arkane's history (ie. the main founder stepping back), arkane would have been being primed for sale. this translates to high scrutiny on project expenditure (such as hiring cheaper early career staff, hiring less workers, denying your best staff raises causing them to leave and hiring cheaper workers in their place, etc) to make the company's EBITDA look more appealing to buyers (briefly, its the piece of paper that proves you're profitable). based on speculative timelines, from a purely $ perspective within the first year of dh2 being released is when you'd be looking to slim down your capitalised expenditure (aka: cutting staff while the revenue is at a peak to make number go brr and make your company look like a better investment) because to maximise the profit of a company's sale, you really have a great track record for a few years.

this is purely speculation based on timelines. companies are very careful to hide when they're doing this, ideally they want ~3 years of a great track record (and staff that will keep working their hardest).

big goals and no money

DotO was meant to be a two-part DLC like the Dh1 DLCs, so shout out to what could have been made if their original pitch had worked.

On locations & antagonists & budget - this dev's site discusses the Conservatory level in game AND specifies it was budget constraints being the reason for cutting off traversable area from that mission. Great link for comparing the original level & the DotO version, especially re: your point about reused assets/levels.

We could pick other examples here but this post is already long so -

Billie herself deserved SO much better than whatever is going on with her character

i would forgive this game anything if there was any good billie storywriting.

:')

its never just the writers

after revisiting articles to fact-check for this essay, i've seen a lot of articles blaming writers by name (you didn't do this anon which i love <3)

games are made by teams, and decision making is generally done top-down, so blaming individual contributors is shit. 1) writer's pay isn't good enough to cop this kind of abuse. 2) it's rarely in their control - you can write a beautiful scene only to have that level cut due to costs (etc), and then you need to work out how to make the story make sense. ideation & decision-making are separate and i guess 'this idea was [X]'s' should not be mistaken for 'this is the fault of [X]'s.'

on hiring fans (& imm-sim writing strategies)

the new writers [...] already had an idea of the world, as they’d seen it from the outside, as fans. “These are all people that knew this world we had created and they took it as canonical, as the gospel. Whereas, for us, it was bits and pieces we’d made up along the way.”

as someone who used to hire writers, and i promise this isn't in bad faith: don't hire fans unless your priority is cost then, sure, fans are likely to put in overtime (and not be in a position in their career where they can ask for higher remuneration - they'll pay the passion tax to be involved).

writers (esp new career writers) have to be open to receiving feedback assuming healthy/functional processes, and being a fan makes that harder because you care more. and, as a fan, you know what loose ends exist and that's where you'll naturally jump to, even though writers should start with target audience and branding, and build from there. if i expand on this i'll get offtopic so let's keep going!

DotO feels lifeless because it doesn't add anything to the DH universe, it only takes away by closing storylines without the satisfaction of closure. sure, stuff was added - the cult subplot, locations, some NPCs/enemies, etc. but they feel like part of the objectives, not part of the dishonored universe. you can feel the decision-making process when you play: there's a feeling that the priority was to finish the assets required for missions, instead of writing a story that feels immersive.

compared to standard videogame writing, where you can generally get away with "everything you touch and read relates to your objectives as the protagonist", as an imm-sim writer, you need to focus on:

how does this text build the universe so that the player feels like they're only seeing a small part of the world?

of course - this is difficult with budget/time concerns. i've said it before but this is part of why we rarely have games as rich as dishonored 1 & 2, because imm-sim design philosophy flies against the current videogame industry trends of microtransactions & cheap-to-make addictive mobile games. given a tight budget you focus on the high level story, but player immersion is a function of details.

most likely, dh2 was the end of an era. typing that out makes me sad.

what did the devs say about writing billie

*breathes deeply*

the death of the outsider protag was originally pitched as being about a regular human, someone not related to emily and corvo but instead an overseer or a brigmore witch. daud was also pitched.

this could have worked! really cool to have a nobody, or a heretic, or an overseer, be involved with the death of a god. and i've mentioned before that storywise DotO's protag could have been anyone (i think i made a joke about wyman? hah) and wouldn't change the story much, bar some daud bits.

quote from the same article:

eventually Arkane settled on Billie Lurk, Emily's companion from Dishonored 2. [...] Bakaba tells me that because Billie had already received her redemption arc in Dishonored 2, Death Of The Outsider's story could be about something more than that.

welp.

so there's two things here - a redemption arc claim, and DotO's actual story.

in addition to not being the first pick, the view was that billie's story was over. i question the 'redemption arc' claim - sure, billie helps the protag in dh2 but after her confession, if you tell her she's changed, she brushes it off and you part awkwardly without forgiving her... does that count? if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? if a character redeems themselves but the story never tells you, are they redeemed?

billie's role in dh2 isn't really that different to the dlcs, where she follows you around being Mr Exposition while withholding a LOT of information that could have actually helped the protag. given DotO's plot, going after the killer who shaped her doesn't scream 'reformed' either. ludonarratively speaking, the lack of chaos implies billie never changed from being a callous killer - which i'm not against, it would have been a cool story.

and! contrast this with daud who already had his redemption arc!

When first conceptualising Death Of The Outsider in around 2014, Smith and Duval knew they wanted two things: Billie Lurk being used to get to The Outsider himself, and closure for Dishonored villain (and later ally) Daud.

in the two DLCs, as we know, he comes to realise his actions sucked, and as the player you actively make things right (related: my post about ludonarrative dissonance in dh2). so if billie had "already received her redemption arc", why was this another daud story?

imo this isn't a budget issue but a misogynoir issue. "we want this story to be not about the protagonist so any random NPC will do, how about we go with billie lurk and get a black woman as a dishonored protag?" this logic, which is what i'm reading of the above two quotes, feels frustratingly tokenistic when she's an established character with a rich background. it's an example of surface level diversity because DotO is not about her by arkane's own admission. it's a similar vibe to the companies who say they have a diverse team but you check their staff page and all the people of colour have 'assistant' in their title and the board is all white, so it's not people of colour who are driving the business. maybe this was entirely by accident but these accidents add up to systematic failure - billie gets her own game but never her own story. it feels like she got assigned the caretaker role for these two guys. great.

for fairness, let's compare to dh2. corvo & emily are relatively hands-off protags in terms of their ongoing thoughts about their surroundings and the lore placement about them specifically is sparse, and this style continues in DotO. the issue is the core narrative: corvo & emily are both the protagonists of their story in the sense that dh2's story reflects their goals ("take back what's yours"), whereas Billie is an established character who has arguably little reason to go along with each mission. worse, the main plotline she's literally forced into going along with. in the opening scene billie gets assaulted and still helps the guy who assaulted her.

fundamentally, DotO's narrative is not about billie but about daud and the outsider, and this article makes clear that was by design.

whats the takeaway

DotO is the weakest entry in the Dishonored series for most people, and blaming budget & a corporate changeover makes me feel... uh well it doesn't really help me tbh but your mileage may vary. it does interest me to think about what we could have had!

for me, my opinion is that if writing billie was a priority (link to my own post where i describe the feeling of playing doto as someone interested in billie) arkane would have made it a priority, even amidst constraints. billie's redemption arc was not resolved imo, and putting her in a game without a chaos system feels like as much a backwards slide for her as daud's plotline to kill the outsider was for his arc.

we absolutely 🤝 on not being in a rush to play the game again.

on the upside. dishonored 2 is a really wonderful game and i love it very much.

[eclipse-rain]

Please a Neteyam x reader (she/her pronouns)?

Fluff and suggested smut (Aged up)

This is my first time doing a request and its a pretty flexable one so i wasnt sure what clan Anon wanted the reader to be from and i chose to have the reader be from the same clan as Neteyam

The smut will only be suggested as Anon asked but if anyone wants me to write a more detailed post with smut i would be happy to oblige and try my hand at it 🤭

All characters are aged up

Masterlist~

You felt the wind whip through your braided hair. Eclipse was just starting to fall as you flew on the back of your ikran high above the clouds. Colors were splashed across the sky as if a giant had taken a huge paint brush and used the sky as its canvas. The stars that started to now shine through looked like glitter added into the mix as a final touch.

Up here you felt free. You felt like you could do anything, go anywhere. You felt like you were in a completely diffrent place, where you didnt have any responsibilities or anything that could chain you to the ground. Nothing up here could hold you down, hold you back.

This is how you felt the need to share it with someone you thought also could feel like they needed to get away from it all sometimes.

He was following you but you had lost sight of him while weaving through and around the clouds. It felt like you were the only one here but you knew he wouldnt leave you and head back by himself, he wasnt the type to do so. You knew because you knew him the best out of anyone. You couldnt see him but he was there, you were sure of it.

Just then he appeared a little ways away behind you, flying on his own ikran. He flew up through the clouds below you and then above you in a split second. He passed you over head in an upside down position, patting you on the head as he flew past and down into the clouds once again.

"Show off" you shouted after him with a small smile on your face

He felt as free as you did up here, you could see it in his actions. It was the first time you had gone flying with him this high up or this late. He had always wanted to be back before eclipse as his father had said. But now you werent kids anymore, you were older. That didnt mean you both had less responsibilities, in fact it ment you probably had more but it also ment you could bend them slightly.

Bend them to your will so that even for a moment you could have time to yourselves, time where you could be your true selves. Together with each other, the only other person who knew all your thoughts, and that you both allowed willingly to see your vulnerabale side and help carry your burdens.

He rose up through the clouds right beside you as you now flew straight forward at a steady pace instead of weaving in and around the clouds. His freckles that flecked his skin started to glow like the stars, that shined like glitter, as the sky began to darken more with the start of eclipse.

"Oh im a show off am i? Whos the one who dragged me out here." He said jokingly

You made a face at him and he laughed. You liked when you made him laugh, each time it made butterflies rise up from the depths of your stomach and into your throat.

"Where are we going anyway?" He asked inquisitively. "You dont usually ask me to come flying with you this late"

He was right. When you were both younger he wanted to live up to his fathers expectations of him, do everything to be the perfect heir, the perfect son and perfect brother to his siblings. This ment whenever you had the idea of going out flying late he would be hesitant to oblige.

You remembered it vividly. It took you ages to convince him to go with you out flying late for the first time. You wanted to show him how the stars were even more beautiful while flying in the dark sky. Although it was the first time, it was also the last time he had gone flying with you that late. Jake had been angry at him that time because while you had been out Kiri and Lo'ak had snuck out into the forest together and were chased by a thanator.

They were fine of course. Jake and Neytiri had noticed them missing not long after they had left and Jake had brought them back safely. Although that didnt save Neteyam from the ear full that he got after you both got back yourselves. Ever since then you stopped trying to persuade Neteyam to come flying with you in the dark. You still flew together frequently but never at eclipse.

Now though, you felt it was alright. You felt that now most of all that you both needed this. You needed this time alone, to yourselves and together. Kiri and Lo'ak were old enough now to be able to hold each other in check and take care of Tuk as well, so theyre was no reason to worry about doing this now.

"Its a secret" i replyed at last

"A secret?" He questioned

"We're going to my special place"

He paused for a moment before answering. "You have me intrigued" he said smirking

You gave him a glance before you flew off ahead of him. The decorations on the neacklace that hung on your neck, the necklace that he gave you, swung back and forth from the wind in the process.

After a while of flying in silence you glanced once more behind you and saw he had caught up to you. Behind you he started to gather more speed and was now gaining on you. You heard him laugh which in turn made you do the same. He chased you from behind on his ikran as you wove in and around the fluffy clouds. You both stayed like that for a while, messing about in the sky as you steered him toward your destination, staying on track.

Time wore on and now the sky was completely dark except for the stars that helped you guide the way to the place that you were taking Neteyam. You werent lying when you said it was your special place. You had found it on another of your late night flying trips when you were younger. You had never shown it to anyone else before, you had wanted Neteyam to be the first. But you had only gotten the chance to show it to him now years later as the time had not been right until now.

You slowed as you came upon your destination and finally came to a stop. Your ikran perched itself on the lower branch of a massive tree. Neteyam followed your lead and had his ikran do the same. You both were now far out away from the village. Instead of the area being sucluded it was a wide open space with barely anything around.

Your ikrans had perched themselves on the lower branch of a massive tree, bigger than anything in the forest where you both grew up. It grew on the very edge of a cliff which had been erroded inwards towards the bottom by the water that lapped against it, making it have the shape of a crecent moon. Some leaves of the tree hung over the edge of the cliff and drooped dowards. The bark of the tree was a dark color, especially in the darkness of eclipse but the foliage at the top of it was bioluminecent with all diffrent colors that lit it up.

It was truly a sight to behold from below given how enormous it was. You heard a little gasp from Neteyam as he walked up beside you taking in the sight. It was quiet here, almost completely silent, except for the buzz of the wildlife that inhabited the giant tree as their home.

Mabey this giant tree is where the giant that paints the sky all those diffrent colors lives. It was was a childish thought but nonetheless still one that comforted you. Something from a story that your mother would sooth you to bed with at night when you were a kid. You turned only to see Neteyam looking at you, smirking, and felt a little embarrased as if he could see what you were thinking just by looking at you. You felt your face heating up.

"Come on! Follow me." You called back to him as you ran towards the trunk of the tree and started to climb upwards. The beads that his mother had braided into your hair earlier in the day hit off each other and clanked together behind you as you did so.

The game was on again as you both raced up the tree, seeing who could get to the top first. You had the advantage of course as you had come here and done this many times before and Neteyam was only climbing it for the first time today. Soon though what had started off as a race turned into something more playful.

Neteyam tried to grab the end of your tail as you climbed above him and you turned around to look at him in slight surprise while you laughed. You climbed up a little higher and swished your tail just above his face, brushing his nose with it in the process. You decided to climb faster and get to the top first so he wouldnt have time to get back at you for teasing him.

You reached the top first a little while later and crouched down to look down the trunk of the tree from where you had come up to see if you could spot Neteyam, a giddy smile painting your face. After a little while of looking you realised you couldnt see him at all and began to worry slightly. That was when two hands grabbed your hips from behind. Neteyam who had climbed to the otherside of the tree and came up from there had snuck up on you from behind and pulled you towards him.

You squeeled in surprise at the action but started laughing again when you realised it was Neteyam messing with you. At the very top of the tree there was a flat circular level just below the bioluminecent foliage. You were both now sitting on the wooden ground there, Neteyams arms wrapped sround you from behind as you sat in his lap. He tickled your sides, messing around and you couldnt contain the fits of laughter that involuntarily erupted from your throat at the action.

Soon you were on the floor as you tried to get away from him. He pinned down your hands on either sides of your head. After your laughing had ceased you still felt giddy but not for long as your attention was captured by the figure that was now above you. Neteyam who had pinned your hands on either sides of your head looked breathtaking under the bioluminecent light of the tree. His freckles now glowed brightly in the complete darkness of eclipse. You had no doubt that yours were doing the same thing in that moment.

The mood shifted and a certain tension seemed to replace the lightheartedness of before. Not a bad tension but rather an unspoken longing. You had know Neteyam since you were both children. Your parents were friends and since you and Neteyam were the same age they had wanted you both to get along. They had pushed you both to play together and soon his family became your second. His siblings were yours and his parents treated you like their own. You and Neteyam always got along, you became best friends without much effort on either side.

But something grew as you and he did. Something unspoken but still there. Never unnoticed but never ventured. You sometimes thought you might be imagining it. Making it up in hopes that you werent deluding yourself with what you alone might have felt. But the more time went on the more you noticed the little things he would do for you but not others. Like the little presents he gave you, always with a fond look in his eyes, that you were so happy to recive each time.

It was a type of courting in the clan. For a male na'vi to present a gift to a female na'vi of the same age and if she were to accept she would in turn accept his advances as a suitor. The presents that he gave you included the necklace you were wearing even now as you both lay ever so still atop one another.

You noticed how he felt about you but never took that step to confirm it. Was it because the time wasnt right all along? Like how it hadnt been the right time to take him here with you. But now he was here. Now after all this time. The time was finally right.

So you chose in that moment to push away any doubts or nervousness and confirm for yourself the feelings he held for you. You chose to finally take that leap of faith and hope he would meet you there halfway.

But you didnt need him to meet you halfway because he beat you to it completely. He leaned down towards you and took your lips in his. He stayed like that for a little bit before he pulled away seeming to have come back to reality after being swept up in the moment.

"Im sorry i didnt mean to, i mean well i did actually mean to, its not like i didnt want to kiss you or anything i just-"

He stopped talking when he heard a sound coming from you. You were laughing.

'Oh god shes laughing at me' he thought, his ears shifting downwards in nervousness and embarrassment.

His earlier much more confident attitude had been replaced by the growing unease in his stomach.

He was so dumb. What if he had entirely messed up your evening because he made you feel uncomfortable. Or even worse what if he messed up your entire relationship. Friendship! Definitely friendship!

He had just been so swept up in the moment that when he saw how beautiful you looked right underneath him his mind went blank and everything he had been feeling all this time came pouring out in that one small action.

You handnt kissed him back when he did it so you must not feel the same, you must be feeling so uncomfortable right now. Or even worse you thought he was foolish for thinking he had a chance with you when every other guy your age had you in mind as their number one candidate for mating with.

It was true, you were presented with many gifts. Many tokens of affection from suitors. In the minds of the young male na'vi of the clan you were certainly the top choice for at least ninety percent of them.

'And why wouldnt she be.' He thought. 'She is mine as well' he felt his face heat up in the darkness at his own conformation to himself

You were kind, caring and loving and that was able to shine through in many diffrent aspects of your personality. But you were also fierce, a true warrior of the clan. You often wore eyes that were filled with determination. You were a great hunter, you had the straightest and cleanest shot out of all the hunters of your age. You were an alrounder.

He liked when you shared your doubts, your so called 'imperfections' with him because he was the only one you would do this with. And in his eyes you could never be anything less than perfecton, flaws and all. It also made him feel a sense of relief that someone he viewed as perfect had insecurities the same as he did. In each other you could both confide things that you couldnt with anyone else. And he had just messed all of that up.

In truth you were actually laughing out of surprise. Even though you had been ready to make the first move you still had been shocked when he beat you to it. You saw a flash of unease cross his face as he noticed you laughing. His apology that was mixed with his nervous rambling only registered with you now as you calmed down.

You couldnt quite make out the right words to fix the situation so you decided on using your actions to portray your feelings instead. You reached up above you to cup Neteyams face in your hands. He was still above you on all fours, caging you, as you lay on the ground beneath him. You held both sides of his head and brought it slowly down to rest on your own. With your foreheads touching and your heart beating out of your chest you whispered to him.

"I see you" you breathed into him

A slight look of shock passed over his features but was quickly replaced by a tender expression as butterflies rose up in his own stomach.

"And i see you" he whispered back to you

Your tail that was resting on the ground tapped up and down slowly in a pulsating rythm. His swished behind him freely before slowly curving around and brushing up against your thigh.

No other words were needed. That was all it took and in the next moment you were both ready and willing to claim what was rightfully yours at long last.

[mabzgonmad]

Agent Phoenix head canons (real not fake but cringe)

Hi tumblr. This is my first text post don’t make fun of my poor outlining 💔

ok so i feel i should section this i have a lot to say

hopefully this is entertaining..btw a lot of this is based on my own personal actions when playing as the Phoenix also I’m not completely set on a lot of these

Sections:

- kinesium and communication

-communication generally

-sexuality / gender

-appearance

-relationships (still not 100% on these)

Kinesium and Communication

We should note that Phoenix (gonna call him AP from now on for simplicity sake) is completely mute minus a few noises such as coughing or gasping.

Also note that Roxana Prism doesn’t even know the full power that kinesium can have when harnessed by a person such as AP. (We know this from her remark of shock at the very end of IEYTD 3)

The agency being full of people with kinesium in there head giving them the ability to use telekinesis means all of them are connected in a way. AP is able to use the connection of all the kinesium to communicate telepathically with anyone in the agency. The first time they did this is was to The Handler on one of their early missions. They had no idea they could do it and actually they were calling handler a bad name. Once the handler just heard a voice in his head replying to what he said to AP he thought he was going crazy. AP didnt know how they did it and they eventually sat down with handler and they figured it out. AP eventually was able to regularly reply to the handler during missions and communicate with more ease to fellow agency members.

Outside of people with kinesium in their brains, AP uses sign language. Though they will only do this if they absolutely need to talk to someone outside of the agency. When it comes to Zor members they will refuse to reply to them at all. They will make rude hand gestures or faces in response, no coherent replies to anyone.

This is with exception to Dr.Prism. They regularly tried to reason with or converse with her specifically in Mission KBOOM. Dr.Prism doesn’t have kinesium in her head (i think?) so they used sign language to talk to her. She would know ASL because i think id be agency policy for the sake of deaf agents and AP.

Example of AP using sign to communicate. (I think here, they didnt want handler to know their reply but wanted to reply… by thinking of responding to handler he accidentally let him know what they said.. lol)

Sexuality and Gender

I don’t think AP would care enough to consider labeling their own gender or sexual orientation.

But they know they don’t identify with any gender and are gender less but do not mind being called “he”

So in simple terms they use They/He pronouns

As for sexuality, they like someone romantically once in a blue moon, and even then they arent very expressive about it. They knows from his like maybe 3 crushes in their life, they like whatever and whoever as long as they fit his type (No clue what his type is!! Probably;y more masculine people low key. Men kisser.)

Appearance

They look like this to me 😍

Gorgeous ain’t he?

Relationships

Bullet points for here bc im getting lazy

-Handler

they’re bestie baes! Honestly best buds! They’d kill for each other !

-John Juniper

homosexual.

-Fabricator

any conversation between them would be full of “KYS” “NO YOU KYS!!”

-Dr.Prism

enemies to besties basically

-Dr Zor

violent and evil dynamic happening here. Nothing but hatred between these two.

I care not for thinking about anymore or any other characters!

OK TY FOR READING THIS IF YOU READ IT ALL SORRY THE IEYTD BRAINROT IS REAL LOVE YOU

[vinnsley]

Could you write an Orpheus x reader fic where the two of them are unknowingly pinning over each other? Have a wonderful day/night too!

OMG. yes. tysm.

[----------]

+ Halloween special?? (it dosent have any halloween things. i actually planned to post this yesterday)

Pairing: Orpheus (IDV) x GN! Reader

Warnings: None really, just some oblivious mess of a fic lol. And some grammar mistakes ofc

Word count: Idk man i aint counting this shit... (i only know this is probably my longest work yet...)

[----------]

You arrived at the manor a few weeks prior, and so far, it's been nice. Most of the other survivors were nice, teamwork for matches were there, (even if sometimes it didnt really work out and you and the 3 others had a shameful lose.) it felt better than your old life to be precise.

But there was this one survivor that had peaked your interest. That survivor being none other than Orpheus himself. He was a quiet individual, sure, but whenever he spoke his voice felt like silk, something you could listen to for hours and hours without a stop.

You wanted to get closer to him, to get to know him better. But you didnt want to come off as rude or obnoxious. So you did what any other normal person would do who's afraid of making the first move. You wrote a letter.

The handwriting was 'neat' in youre opinion, the contents... probably okay. You were just waiting for his response.

You werent sure that if he took you up on the offer to be friends, or he would just nit-pick your wording and grammar, but your heart told you it's worth a shot.

And indeed was it worth it.

At first it was obvious he was hesitant to meet, but after a few meetings/'hang outs' as you called it, he realized you werent so bad after all.

You two quickly clicked. You two had similar interests, similar type of 'humor', and it just felt so perfect for you.

And you hoped it would be the same feeling for him too.

"[Y/N]?"

You're head perked up as you heard his beautiful voice. Your name rolling perfectly off his tounge.

"Yes, Orpheus?"

You question.

God, how much he loved your voice.

At first he wasn't that much of a fan of you, but now, he would do anything to just merely be in your presence.

"I have a question for you."

You raise an eyebrow at that. What does he have to know?

"Hit me."

You respond

"What is youre favourite color?"

"Uh... [Favourite color]. Why?"

"Oh nothing. I was just curious."

He responds.

In reality, he just wants to learn about you. Anything in general.

Whatever you say he memorizes. Or writes it down somewhere. It may sound stalker-ish but when you're stuck in a manor where you're being hunted down by monsters and where you might go nuts, it dosen't really matter.

And most of the days just went like this. Orpheus or you popping up in eachothers spaces to ask questions about eachother, or just talk.

The other survivors were practically begging you to get together with Orpheus, appearently you and him are 'All over eachother', which is not true!

You two only hang out. And talk all the time. And team up during matches. And save eachother without a second thought even if it meant one of you'd lose the match. And share food with eachother-

Okay now thats pretty sus in reality...

And that's when you realized for once. (And finally.)

You like... No. You love Orpheus.

After you realized... you... kind of kept a distance between him and you.

You just didnt know what to do with these new feelings. They are foreign. New. Whatever you want to call it, but its not familiar.

And of course, this action did not go unnoticed by Orpheus, see, he is a really attentive person, he 'knows these stuff', as you told him once

Whenever he called your name, or even tried to get in your personal space, you moved away or just simply ignored him.

Which did not sit right with him at all.

You two got along so well, what happend?

Did he do something wrong?

Did he offend you with something he said?

He knows he can be blunt but did he hurt you??

Needless to say he was confused. Very confused.

So one day, he decided to write a letter.

If he wrote you didnt have a chance to runaway... right?

And the letter was... detailed. Way too detailed.

He wrote about his worries that he offended you, he asked why are you ignoring him and if he did something wrong, and he said he misses you.

When you read the letter that got pushed trough the small space under your door, you didnt know how to take it.

Did this mean he likes you too? Or what does this mean..?

Let's say you wrote a letter back. But you were way bolder.

You poured out your heart into that letter, you told him how much your heart aches whenever you cant see him, but you realized these strange feelings that kept bugging you.

That you love his silky voice, whenever he talks it felt like a lullaby to you that you could just sleep on without a care in the world.

And when HE read the letter he was flabbergasted. No better or worse word to describe it.

After thinking deeply and reading your letter over and over again, he realized it too.

What he felt inside his stomach whenever you two were close wasn't only friendship. It was love.

He finally realized, you did too.

So he wrote a letter back, again.

Confessing that he felt the same, and that you two should meet up already because he misses you.

In the end... You two confessed the same way you two's friendship started to bloom.

[ask-serendipity-sky]

"I cannot for the love of the gods come up with a theory on why Jk is ok with getting all this nice promo while Jimin got nothing". How about u try to change your solo perspective that makes u look at jimin like a victim all the time? Jimin GOT promotions, and a big one, money related. He had 2 mv that took a lot of budget and preparations: the 2 mv needed sets to be created, and SMFPT2 set was HUGE. He promoted at korean music shows, which too took a lot of money to build those giant sets. Yes, he did have a short promotion period, for reasons we dont know but my guess is that Suga needed to do his comeback because of the tour and i hate the person who came up with those dates but ok... We all know Face promotions got some biiiig problems and im still mad about it, we just dont know what really happened, but i'm sure jimin would fight back if he thought he was being mistreated. But to say that jm got zero promotions... nah

Face, Like Crazy and Seven r different projects, with different visions and different goals. Jimin wanted to tell his story of when he was going through a hard time, and he wanted to do it in korean, promoting more in Korea, with songs that, in the end, only him and people close to him know the meaning. Yet, he did AMAZING and made history (is still making). It seems to me that the #1 on hot100 was unexpected to the company and even jm, but yet they did provided to us 2 versions of Like Crazy, one of them being an eng. ver, and promoted at Jimmy Fallon... So maybe they still hoped that the song would do well internationally? (pdogg tho... he just KNEW face would be massive and destroy kpop). But Jungkook... i think that, for a long time now, he aims to achieve western recognition, way more than jm, and thats ok. So Seven obviously is a song to the US market, and all of us know that. The song is in english, is very pop, written and produced by an american guy that is responsable to other huge hits. It is made to be stuck in our heads, not to make us think about deep things. It is breaking and will break so many records just like LC, but the difference is that the success is THE GOAL (remember all of that Scooter posts on his ig?). Jimin wanted to tell his truth with Face, Jk wants to be closer to being a big pop star with Seven. So, of course Seven would get a different type of promotion.

And btw, just because the song is doing really good and is aiming to the US market, doesnt mean it is by having deals and paying for playing. Its the Jeon Jungkook, of BTS, we are talking about. Jk seems very happy and jimin seems happy for him. I dont think jimin would support jk if he thought he was doing wrong. He didnt post anything, but he did not post about L&R and Dreamers too. He supported jk with Dreamers by posting about his presentation at Qatar, and now he supported seven by going all the way to NYC to be with him.

All of this to say: Jimin is not a victim, he is a badass and he knows how to stand up for himself. When will you come out as a solo, btw? its getting old...

Hi anon,

When will you try thinking for once instead of being a parrot and writing what you've read in other blogs?

Your entire ask is wrong. I don't even know where to start.

YOU sound like a jjk solo or delusional jikooker or Jk biased jikooker.

But you know what? Call me a solo. I don't mind. Anyone who ever defends Jimin or loves Jimin is always called a solo. Why? Because no body else defends him or loves him like solos do. So, sure. Call me a solo.

First of all, we are talking about THE Park Jimin. Of BTS. That's who are talking about.

I'm done with people who, somehow for some delusional reason, think Jimin is inferior to Jungkook. You know nothing about Jimin if you think this.

I've NEVER said that Jimin got 0 promotions. I've been screaming (into the void, apparently) that Jimin only got 9 days of promo that were too hard on his body and had to wear it kt tape for weeks after. I've been screaming that the company is sabotaging him and it's true. People who actually know things about the company know this quite well too.

Take a look at everything and the sabotage is obvious. But look let's start here:

This same guy posts on DC gallery:

Yes, Jimin's promo costs money. But so did everyone's. How much do you think payola costs? That's much pricier than what Jimin's promo costs. And either way, Jimin was a return investment.

Not only did Jimin's place on the charts affect Hybe. It also affected other companies.

And right now the stock at Hybe at decreasing and foreign shareholders are selling to make it seem like Jk's position on the chart will have a bigger impact than it actually will:

Just watch.

You are proving me right with everything else:

So sure, let's sacrifice Jimin's promo time for Suga even though Suga was the one that postponed his album because it wasn't ready.

Jimin had 2 mvs. Suga had how many? And he had a whole tour too.

Jimin didn't have any visualizers. Jk had how many?

Jimin had 5 versions of Like Crazy. Jk has how many?

Jimin's Like Crazy cd was never stocked. Jk's has been stocked how many times?

You think Jimin doesn't want international recognition? Like Crazy was released in ENGLISH for a purpose.

After Jimin's no.1, if they wanted Like Crazy to succeed in the US market, they would have at least sent it to radio. This would have avoided freefall. They would have also shipped albums on time. They would have also informed us of the rule change for online sales instead of waiting until Suga's album was coming out.

It was the fans that were begging radio to play Like Crazy and the only way to play it was from the mv on YouTube:

There are so many things they could have done differently. They can still do them but they choose not to.

Did you see what was trending today?

Did you trend this, anon? Since you are so "mad about this"?

You think FACE wasn't created with success in mind? Pdogg came out and said it would break kpop because Pdogg knew what masterpiece FACE is.

You don't have to think deep with Like Crazy or any of the song...um just listen to them?

And don't be daft about Seven:

And other things. Search "Seven payola" on twitter and you will find it.

So yeah. You are wrong.

If you don't see it, that's because you choose to not see it.

Stop pretending that you "are still mad about it". You don't care about Jimin and only want him for your stupid ship and for him to be Jk's cheerleader.

Ah and he went to NYC for a work thing and to support Jungkook. But he hasn't posted a single thing about Seven. He did post about Dreamers and Left and Right. But no Seven.

You think Jimin only wanted those close to him to listen to his music and know the meaning? He spent 10 months working on this album, hours practicing choreography, dieting, for stupid fans like you to say things like these?

I don't even want to see when he releases new music, appears in stuff with Jungkook, or leaves for military service. All these fake fans will be crying and uwuing when they couldn't lift a finger for him during all this.

To those that try to send others on guilt trips because we defend Jimin or point out the injustices: Are you guys even streaming Seven and Like Crazy to "support them equally"?

At least taekookers have taekook playlists and streaming parties for Jk and Tae. I haven't seen a single playlist around here that has both Jk and Jimin. But yeah, you all are supporters of jikook.

You all come and try to send me on a guilt trip but you all are worse than me. For reals.

You don't deserve Jimin. You and all the people who keep saying all this bullshit because it fits their stupid theories and shipping fantasies don't deserve him.

Jimin deserves so much more than this.

So just stop. Don't come to my blog.

[this-hopeless-war]

favorite characters from the outsiders and why? If u just want to keyboard smash in response I’ll understand what you mean /gen

and do u have any favorite actors in the show?

QISHCJJF OKAY THIS IS GONNA BE IN CAPS

(i cut it cause this post ended up insanely long)

I CANNOT PHYSICALLY PICK A FAVOURITE BUT I CAN TRY TO TALK ABT SOME OF THEM

PONYBOY MICHARL CURTIS JHAHSHHSJNWOSJDOEKDOKF JWJSODK HIS CHARACTER!!! HIS MORALS!!!! THE FACT THAT EVEN THOUGH HES PRETTY COOL (EX HE CLEANS UP THE BROKEN GLASS ON THE STREET IN THE BOOK) HES STILL A GREASER!! IN THE BOOK/MOVIE HE STILL HAS FUN BLOWING STRAWS AT THE WAITRESSES AND CHASING SOME KIDS!!! HE ISNT BETTER THAN EVERYONE HE JUST SEES THE WORLD DIFFERENTLY ANDBWIJAHSOCLLAKEOFKWO PLS YOU GET WHAT I MEAN

I WILL NEVER EVER EVER SHUT UP ABOUT RANDY CAUSE BRO FIGURES IT OUT!!! AND ACTUALLY DOES SMT ABOUT IT!!! HES GOES TO PONY LIKE "this isn't so nifty bro" AND PONYS LIKE "Yeah i know brobro" AND AFTER THAT CONVERSATION RANDY LIKE TRIES TO NOT BE A HORRIBLE PERSON (HE LITERALLY SKIPS THE RUMBLE AND BECOMES A HIPPY) BUT HE STILL DID AWFUL THINGS AND HE KNOWS IT!!! THE NIGHT BOB DIED PLS I NEED TO WRITE OUT MY THOUGHTS ABT HIM ON THE NIGHT BOB DIED CAUSE WHAT PEOPLE FORGET ABOUT RANDY/MUSICAL PAUL IS THAT ***THEY JUST LOST THEIT BESTEST BUD*** THEY ARE ASSHAT TEENAGERS GOING THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC SPECIFICALLY PAUL IN THE MUSICAL DID NOT FUCKING HANDLE IT IN A GOOD WAY BUT HE DIDNT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO DO !!THIS NIGHT HAS OPENED MY EYES BY THE SMITHS AND THINK ABOUT RANDY!!

DARRYL CURTISBWISJOQJSODNIWOQOSPXNWOJXD PLEASE YOU GET IT

CHERRY VALANCE IM GONNA SPECIFICALLY BE TALKING ABT MOVIE CHERRY CAUSE IN THE MUSICAL SHE IS VERY VERY DIFFERENT OKAY CHERRY I LOVE HER SO MUCH I GOTTA SAY SOME STUFF

MOVIE CHERRY-PEOPLE DO HATE HER CAUSE OF SEXISM AND IT ISNT ROGHT BUT HERES THE THING I SEE PEOPLE SAYING THAT SHE DID NOTHING WEONG ANF THAT IS NOT TRUE AND THATS WHY I LOVE HER SO MUCH, MOVIE CHERRY MET PONY AND THEY HAD THAT CONNECTION THEN SHE DOESNT ACKNOWLEDGE HIM AGAIN AND GUES WHAT CHERRY IS A TEENAGER GOING THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC TOO SHE DOESNT HANDLE IT LIKE A FULL GROWN ADULT BECAUSE SHE ISNT ONE HBWOSJEODOFO CHERRY VALANCE THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU

IN THE CAST!!! I GOTTA SAY I LOVE EMMA I USE HER VLOGS AS LIKE A SELF CARE TIME, LIKE WHEN SHE POSTS IM USUALLY SUPER STRESSED OUT SO I GET READY FOR BED EARLY SO I HAVE TIME TO RELAX AND WATCH IT IN MY BED AND ITS GRAND I ALSO JUST LOVE HER CAUSE SHES THE ONLY OKE SUPER ACTIVE ON SOCIAL MEDIA I HAVE ACSESS TOO SO I DONT KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT THE OTHERS THAT I HAVE THE ABAIKITU TO PUT INTO WORDS RN

HQISJPQKSKWMSOKQPSNDPQKOSJD I SCHEDULED MY WHOLE DAY SO ID HAVE TIME TO DO EVERYTHING AND I GOTTA STOP TYPING AND GO DO SHIT BUT PLEASE NOW I HAVE MORE THOUGHTS AND I MAY TALK SBT THEM LATER

(Please i'm watching the outsiders slime today it's scheduled it is IMMINENT I fear I will in fact explode {get ready for so many spam posts while omw watching it help})

[compassionatereminders]

Hey same anon who has the narcotic plants special interest. I am sorry for a long ask I wanted to tell you a brief story that you may find funny or sad. Or sad but funny. I once took an edible with my 2 cousins, it was 300 mg so we split it in 3, this was not a problem for me in the past so i take approx 100 mg.

Unbeknownst to any of us, this was artificial/synthetic THC We had gone to the movies to watch Pirates of the Caribbean, we thought it would be fun to watch while high. Something in the artificial THC kind of cramped my brain. And by half way through the movie I was practically blind from how high I was. This was extremely unusual and my cousins were having strange reactions as well, one fell asleep and was unconscious through the loudest movie ever and my other cousin was *ravenously* hungry, like, more than you get with munchies. She said she felt like she was starving and no matter what she ate it couldnt satiate her for like 48 hours

For me though, I'm on psych meds. Antipsychotics, anti depressants, catalysts, and things for neurological problems which of course includes POTS and vasovagal syncope. Anyway I decide to head out first before my family because I was half aware that I was severely impaired and I was in heels so i needed to see if i could walk straight and not right in front of my grandmother, we didnt want our grandmother to find out (it wasn't legal here in CA yet) I head out of the theater and as i walk through the door, boom vasovagal response. Luckily I can tell when blood pressure drops so i know it's going to happen so I sat down and put my head between my knees. that's the last thing I remember, but i was going in and out of consciousness and while unconscious, it felt like endlessly falling backwards. I was only aware of my thoughts for brief moments of clarity when I would wake up, but i would just pass out again I do remember hearing the paramedics, when we arrived at the hospital, mocked me and said "i couldnt handle a little edible" They did a bunch of tests and basically found that the edible's artificial THC was something actually ridiculous like my portion was the equivalent of 1,500mg of THC

Apparently during the time I was unconscious I was screaming (constricted vocal chords) and crying uncontrollably and proceeded to have a pretty bad seizure. I was high from this for like a week straight and it wasnt the fun kind. It was the hangover type of high like, super bad headache, makes you feel like shit, tired, ugh i hated that feeling.

BUT! This event Gave me a super power It made me immune to edibles. At least THC edibles. I am dead serious. I was afraid to try edibles again after this event but i went through with 50 mg.... nothing. 100 mg.... nothing. 150mg.... nothing. I dosed myself like this, waiting for it to kick in and it never would. So i decided to use a tincture to see how long it took until I felt something. I gave up at 800 mg, I felt nothing, and im p sure 800 is enough to make someone uncomfortably high. it just. Doesnt work for me anymore So. I have to inhale THC to get high now. I try to stick to dab pens but theyre no better on your lungs than smoking marijuana. I hope this doesnt seem like trauma dumping or anything! i just wanted to share my superpower and story as well as maybe a warning for others if this is posted. Anyway, so sorry to ramble, have the best night/day/afternoon you can <3

Wow, I'm really sorry you had to go through that shitshow! I have had Too Much Edible on several occasions, but never anything that extreme. Who the fuck even WANTS weed to do that kind of shit?! 😭

[callibones]

UM HI HI HI ITS ME. 🩸🟪 AND I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU I AM VERY SORRY!!!

this week ive been exceptionally busy. a lot of stuff has been piling up for me with university and work and it didnt really give me a lot of time to look at tumblr OR read the fics! ill get to them! i didnt forget i swear ive just been EXHAUSTED this message is just being pulled out of my ass since i didnt expect to write to you today so i dont have any topics planned to ask you about. i didnt wanna take the time to think of something because i didnt want it to seem like i was ignoring your poast (despite the fact you wouldve never known if i had seen it or not .. but MENTALLY i'd feel bad, you know?) but uh. yeah

i don't know how people talk. um. how are you? has your week been particularly busy? what DO you do outside of tumblogging actually .. im curious

OH AND ALSO i very much appreciate the backstory info you gave me on callibones. i MIGHT take inspiration from it for my fanart? maybee? and uh i will send that to you SOON! very soon. i guess in the meantime id just wanna polish it more before sending it to someone out of like. principle?

i looked through your friends blog.. i like the concept of a blood bag person thing. there were probably better ways of saying that but IDK!! once again though i think it is Extremely Drawable so i have a small request ..

and regarding CALCIFER .. i think i would appreciate a deity to deity chat. or an potential acolyte to deity chat or I Mean Ha Ha. and those pronouns are Pretty Cool if i do say so myself! im worried directly sending in an ask would be strange so since you said you were friends with them can you parrot my question? i rlly wanna know whether drawing fanart of their OC is okay. sorry what else. im going to try and plan my next correspondence out ASAP so ill probably go through the cedardivine post before the post you made with a ton of fics? just because the list is shorter. idk what ill do after that--maybe ill rank them or something and you can tell me how wrong my opinion is or something Haha! just kidding im always right. i create new truths as we speak. as im typing this im overwriting just a little bit more of the world's knowledge. im just cool and awesome like that. theres nothing else i can think of at the moment to ask you.. OH UM when you mentioned callyris i realized "hey wait dont i know a blog called that" and Look Who It Was! so thats neat i also think i found another blog that may be under your posession but i dont think i can ask about it at the front desk.. so when i message you in some other manner ill probably ask you about that! who knows i might even be Completely Wrong

well anyways sorry for the delay. it will probably take a while longer for me to compose my thoughts so the delay will continue but. idk. i hope this message isnt TOO INCOHERENT but again i am not proofreading at all for this one.

also im definitely using gooby forever now. thats great. what a peculiar phrase.

GOOBY!!!!

hi hi hi hi! i took a million years to get back to this so NEVER apologize or rush about sending me things. anon asks r a tough way to communicate cause i dont got an online indicator for u so i just gotta guess... and u dont got a notification for me! i hope u see this even tho its been a bit.

ive been busy too cause university's also piling up for ME. i'm gonna respond to this one first, and then i'll take a crack at your mysterious coded message! and then i have to do a million homework because grad school. outside of tumblogging im trying to destroy the world with the infinite power amulet, so i'm majoring in general supervillainy! and also urban planning

for the blood bag: @rigormarcy LOVES fanart. marcy, if u see this, respond with your ref, 'cause you have a super drawable OC! the fans wanna draw u so bad. So Bad.

u found another blog that might b me? omg.... here. how bout this. send me an ask with just the name and i wont publish the response. if youre REALLY curious. but youre probably right, because i invented every blog on tumblr GOOBY

[againaweasel]

002 for remus please

Thank you for the ask!!

How I feel about this character: 

My ultimate favourite character in everything. The standard to which all characters are judged. My Roman Empire.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: 

Tonks

James potter

Benjy fenwick

Peter Pettigrew (sorta)

Emmeline Vance (but only in But He Didnt Want The Moon tbh)

Frank and Alice Longbottom as long as it’s at the same time (I haven’t thought about it too hard but I know I’m right)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: 

His and Sirius’ deliciously complex post - POA friendship

The marauders as a unit

With James

With peter

With Kingsley

My unpopular opinion about this character: 

He fawns or flights as a trauma response. It doesn’t mean he’s not developed as a character or not 3- dimensional if he doesn’t fix things with his fists or going off in violent rages. Man is terrified of confrontation and people pleasing to an absolute fault and people get hurt because of it.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

His arc is greatly restricted by the fact he dies in DH. It’s already a fairly ambitious thing to attempt to pull off with an adult side character that Harry can only really see 3 times a year and who isn’t the type to share his every thought, but the fact it ends and there’s no further prospect for growth off screen is detrimental to the whole thing.

He should have had the chance at recovery and healing by living a life with Tonks and working through issues rather than running away from them. I understand that he doesn’t because war isn’t that kind, but still.

my OTP

Remus x Tonks all day every day

my cross over ship:

I don’t think I have one, sorry.

(Remus and Vision. Are they too similar? yes. Do I care all that much? No. I love them both so I will make them kiss like lil Ken dolls)

a headcanon fact:

He’s not great at growing facial hair. That moustache in PoA? The only thing he can grow that’s not incredibly patchy.

He’s also a vegetarian after spending the year in Greybacks camp

[laithraihan]

I'm the anon who sent you the long message that apparently came off "pompous & infantilizing" and more to your followers.

I find it interesting that that message sparked such a flood of defenders, when I did not send it in bad faith at all. From your answer it seems I'm lacking context so sorry if I took some of your statements the wrong way, but nonetheless I just found the parental love addition strange and reacted to that, that was all there was to it. I clearly stated (three times) I'm not taking any issue with your headcanons.

By saying they are far removed from canon I did not mean to say they are "too unrealistic" or something is wrong with that, I literally said the opposite. I meant just that, that factually, this will not be a common interpretation for someone who is familiar with the source material but not your blog. This is not a statement that I made with any judgemental value and I thought I made that very clear but apparently not.

So I'm sorry for the additional ask.

Have a nice day.

Thank you for the response.

I was fully aware you said there was no issue with what I drew, but the way you wrote everything else sort of negated that statement. At least that's how me and many other people saw it.

If someone finds what I drew strange or confusing then they could always just... block me or ask me about it (and btw I expected people to be confused, otherwise I wouldnt have labeled it "non-coupling" as soon I posted it lol)

Someone did ask me about it, and you seem to have already seen that response, yet you still felt the need to send another message basically implying that an explanation wasn't enough (turns out it actually wasnt enough because people said I was lying and in denial) and that my explanation was weird too? Which is whatever I already ended up clarifying that, English is not my first language and I type things with the help of a translator (I wish people could actually keep this in mind. I only type in English because it'll reach a wider audience and it's the language most of my followers know. Often I have to google words people tell me online, or I ask my friends fluent in English to explain things for me)

You can say "that's not what I intended" but that's how it came across... you wrote a lot of nice words while also saying it was understandable that people were ganging up on me over a drawing, it seemed patronizing.

That's why me and others took offense to it, but I think it's difficult to tell tone through text so I don't want to keep nitpicking this any further. If you say you had no ill intent then I believe you.

The following will just be me adding more context and not necessarily aimed at you: Again I understand the lack of context of my account can make people confused about my art, Ive made that clear many times.

The art I made where I said "if your parents didnt love you then it's obvious" was a direct response to people who were mocking me specifically for tagging the art as "non-coupling" because they didnt believe me. They got the context and decided I was trying to hide a fetish because a kiss on the cheek was "obviously shippy". They proceeded to compare this to drawing NSFW of Mob and Reigen by labelling it "non-ship" as if it was comparable to tucking a child into bed, that's what upset me. I did absolutely nothing to these people, I dont know them, if they said this privately I wouldnt care but it was public, and they also targeted another friend of mine for no reason.

All Im gonna say is that my drawing shouldnt have caused this much controversy in the first place. I labeled it "non-coupling" as soon as I posted it, which should've been enough honestly. It's not like I posted porn or anything like that, I got the idea from something Ive experienced in my family as a teenager and I could easily google stock images of the exact same scenario to use as reference, like I really didnt think it was that bad.

Anyways I think I've explained myself many times already. Im not gonna be hostile and say to people "roh t9awed dont ever send me anything else related to this" but just.. check if Ive already answered your question so that it doesnt end up being repetitive. If you have a question about this that I havent answered yet, then feel free to ask.

[clownrecess]

As an autistic individual myself, I am interested in the intersection of neurodiversity and various identities.

You've mentioned that you identify as a Norse Pagan. I'm curious about how your spiritual beliefs intersect with your neurodivergent experience. Do you find that your autistic identity informs or impacts your spiritual practice in any way?

(Tw for discussions of trauma, religion, etc.)

Sorry for the late-ish response! I've been working on this post a little everyday to make sure I write it how I want it.

I dont think that my autism has impacted my religion or spirtual experiences/beliefs, but my brain as a whole does. (Update: It actually did influence it quite a bit. I'm realizing this after writing this post. So, uh, thank you for helping me realize something that I find quite interesting!)

When I was a kid, I was raised in christianity. I was very religious. I prayed everyday, I had a cross in my room, etc.

But heres the thing: I have OCD. A few different types, but out of those, one of them is religious OCD.

Most of my praying ages late 8-12 was done purely out of fear. At that point I wasnt even really a Christian, I was just really afraid, which really impacted how I viewed religion. I HATED conversation about it because it felt scary and icky to me.

I didn't understand why people would ever want to talk about it. It felt like a very private topic for me, so I figured people who go out of their way to talk about it must be trying to get extra "good points" with god (maybe that bit was caused by autism, actually.).

During that time, I would go through little phases of a month or so at a time in which I would try to "swing the opposite direction". This was around age 10-11. I was developing an intense anger toward the church, and I just wanted to be the opposite of they were, whatever that meant. Because I didn't want to think about religion (due to anxiety around it), I really didn't know what many religious labels actually meant because researching them made me very uncomfortable, so I briefly identified as a satanist (this would be on and off during ages 10-11.) despite really not knowing what that meant. I think I just wanted a way to separate myself from the church as much as possible.

A few months after I turned 12, I felt a really strong urge to research paganism out of nowhere (I didnt even know what "pagan" meant, I just suddenly felt the need to know things about it. It was very random.). It started sort of as a special interest (Maybe autism did influence me more than I thought! Interesting.), and so I would look into a lot of different branches of paganism, focusing most of my research around hellenistic paganism.

A few weeks after this, I had a very interesting experience which I now believe to have been a sign from Freyja (I dont want to go into specifics. It was personal and I want to keep that special to me. I might later, but for now it's just mine. Just know it was a very beautiful thing from her.). DIRECTLY following this event (Maybe an hour or two later), I felt another urge to research things, but this time to be looking into the Norse Gods/Goddesses (which I'd never even heard of at that point.).

At that point I ended up converting to paganism. It was an extremely sudden decision, but it made sense to me.

No matter what religion I had been apart of before, I always felt anxiety and guilt, causing me to try and fix things by becoming excessively religious again in a Christian way. But from the moment I became pagan, I just never had that ever again. It's been the only religion I've ever felt fully safe in.

It's obviously been quite a while since then, and I'm obviously still a Norse Pagan.

Whilst I now love all the gods and goddesses, Freyja will always be especially special to me.

At this point I have worked with: Freyja, Loki, Odin, Beyla, and Njord.

Now, I also think its important to mention another part of my brain that impacts my religious experience: I am in a system.

Nearly all of us identify as Norse Pagans, but we have a few Agnostics as well, a few Eclectic Pagans, an Atheistic Satanist, and a Theistic Satanist.

The primary religious identity within our system is Norse Paganism, with the majority of individuals identifying as followers of this belief system. Due to this, we say we are a Norse Pagan! We are also okay with just being called "Pagan" on it's own, though.

[k1ngj0ve]

Random Metalocalypse headcanons

Nathan: I think hes bisexual (but hides it), is deeply emotional, likes and is kind to children but doesnt want any of his own (hopes someone else will have kids he can dote on), the only instrument he plays is piano (but not super well), is straight up the only one here who is actually A Goth, is deeply deeply insecure, has accidentally become a 'can only solve problems with threats' type due to that being how he dealt with bullying. Also he has ALWAYS had vaguelly prophetic dreams since childhood, but cant tell them apart from regular ones and cant always tell if they are good or bad, so he only sometimes does what they say

Skwisgaar: i made a long post about this previously but he has complete dylexia and due to his intense anxiety and his moms general belittling of mistakes he actually is WAY worse at english than it seems like he is and he sort of just muddles through and pretends. His english is much worse when hes thinking about it, which the others noticed, which is why they rarely correct anything he says because hell go silent for 3 days. Also hes bisexual (openly before being in Dethklok) and yes he IS some kind of god child but he probably WASNT appointed for the soul purpose of making babies Toki: not stupid! not 'mind of a child'. Just immature. I headcanon that he was not of-age when he joined Dethklok and someone in Dethklok (i havent decided who is funniest yet) had to legally adopt him to keep him in the country and they kinda forgot. He only hit 21 in season 1 and while he HAD been drinking before that he really started going overboard after it got easier. Also, skwisgaar taught him english (hence same pluralization quirk) but hes now much better at it. Despite his comments about 'superior scandinavian education' he didnt actually go to school and didnt learn to read or write until he was older, but hes very good with computer codes and math. ALSO his parents arent his real parents, he was thought to be a demon child born to a member of the flock with no husband and was adopted to be 'fixed' but ended up just goign towards demonic things since he thinks hes a demon. Is it true? idk. Murderface: Gay but also in-universe many many many many people are attracted to him. Hot people. Movie stars. gay men especially. Refuses to admit hes gay because it feels like 'giving in' to a thing that everyones always said about him. He grew up in Tomahawk with pickles but doesnt have the accent because he took after his grandparents. PIckles mom refuses to admit she knows murderface. ALSO that 'murderface expert' guy is making up at least half of that. he does bath he just has like skin problems and is too impatient to deal with them and too anxious about being made fun of to go to the doctor about minor issues like athletes foot. Hes in a secret highly emotional online relationship with a guy hes only seen in person once because of insecurity reasons

Pickles: trans or cis depending on my mood at the moment ;p Bisexual and knows it but doesnt knwo the word for it. A lot of health problems hes been diagnosed with but he always forgets about. Wears contacts (or just chooses to be blind some days). He is NOT Mollys son, actually, hes Calverts from a mistress which is why his mom hates him so much (also why his dad said he belonged in a 'garbage can', hes referencing that he wishes pickles mom had an abortion). yes of COURSE hes in love with nathan, he just like assumes its not possible and 99% of the time is okay with that. Ofdenson: for some reason i had a misunderstanding for many years that he had ALWAYS been part of the church of the black klok and so even now that i know its not true, i still prefer it. To me, this is why he is so fucking negligent-- in some way the klokateers and audiences must be a blood sacrifice for the apocalypse (or potentially to stave it off? unclear). Additionally he is largely responsible for the entire 'look' of the enterprise. I simply dont believe that half the shit in mordland were ever seen by dethklok or could even possibly have been conceived of by them, let alone asked for. My headcanon is he is the one that started the entire 'branding of the gears' thing and is responsible for the brainwashing (this i think has canon support at least)

[evildoombringer]

hi nakamura (i'm. not entirely sure which name you prefer to go by,,)

i. don't really know, personally, the depths of hurt that came from min leaving can't claim either. to understand what your going through right now

you both seem really close. it was always funny, to  read ur asks that you'd send i remember reading the "happy morning" one you sent and it had like this image of a smiling kid for some reason, for like a solid 5 months i just thought "oh cool, so that's what they look like:0" before i looked back and thought, "huh wait. they always added (very funny,  mind you) meme/pics to their asks. was that pic a meme too-?" and only then did i realize lmao

looking back on his responses, i can almost hear the amused tone or, however min would react. lol it was nice to see him talking to people who cared about him

im. not really sure what to say, without coming off as like.. pretentious.? but. if i can just assume for one second, from the asks they'd answer of yours, to everything i hear about min from all the people who know him, i. i. assume he really cared for you, and. i assume you cared for him as much.,

i dont. know your situation, at all. min had. already made up his mind when i even found his blog. so, just. i hope you'll be able to make a decision, you'll be. happy with

the future could get better. it could get worse i can't really see which one it'll be. i don't understand how close you and min were, at all but know. you arent alone im not sure, if you need to. understand or know someone to be there for them,but from the looks of it, min was. never really alone if he had you. so,i hope you also know your not alone there'are people here for you

im sorry. this is probably, meaningless to you in hindsight i just. yeah. in the end, whatever you choose is your decision but. your not alone im sorry if this comes off as assuming.  please. feel free to ignore this ask, if it oversteps in anyway or is just uncomfortable. i know sometimes one might just want- to vent and let it all out and the to have that acknowledged or responsded to might be. uncomfortable i. hope i didnt come off that way

but .yeah,

nice to. meet you by thw way. O(∩w∩)O (im sorry the kaomoji is so out of place jhsjsh i just remembered that one ask u sent hh)

hi custard

it hurts that he's gone, obviously, and i just haven't been on Tumblr for a minute, so seeing everything again is having a terrible effect on my psyche (ill live though haha). im just super weird about him and i realize that uhh nobody really knows that. but I'm super . . weird about him and uhhh yeah and um i regret everything lol

im surprised you thought i was a young chinese boy :sob: but. i understand how you could make that.... mistake.....

did you know the :smile: :sob: thing is a discord reference? :sob: is 😭 and :grimace: is 😬. if you're on a phone and u type the emoji out it should probably pop up, and the same thing happened on discord so he. um would do that when posting on Tumblr too out of habit, and i guess it eventually became a Min-Pal staple haha

and yeah he definitely cares about me, and im mad at him because he cares about me and left me his emails and shit to take care of and he did that because he knew im. weird and needed more than old messages and tumblr posts and i . m glad he did do all that and i love having some stuff to hold onto like his Spotify but. it's just upsetting i guess, since you know, id rather have him.

its really funny seeing how other people view him, to me, at least, i guess since i got to see not just him being bad-pathetic but him bad-bad in general (and I'm not going to explain further than this, as i, despite claiming to find it funny, am happier than not that he died with a t least a somewhat positive. Uh. Perception.)

idk I'm not like, a great persoj, and i did Just let him die instead of going to unimaginable lengths. and I regret that everyday, but he was so steadfast. he just didn't care anymore , and he had me to talk to but it was like he didn't care about trying (because once he decided he'd died, what really mattered past that?) Ssorry this is all so congested and contradictory and I make no sense

and, id love to believe you when you say stuff like "you're not alone" but it's terrible because I really am. like it's out of personal fault, but even the people I feel as though I could go to for help, I coukdnt bring myself to,, not when it's anything Too serious,, not to mention the fact I just got dumped because he said I was 'unhealthy' (after 10 months of reassuring me that its ok if I am cuz he'll help... but that's. A whole different thing and has nothing to do with min and I'm just bitter and bringing him up out of.... bitterness.)

and im glad u left the ask mikey i really am

idk it's just kinda sweet. now I feel more like angel and saki..... Auuuhhuhhh

i don't know what to do in any regard currently though so I think I'm just gonna continue mourning something that's been gone for a year now. Someone. and being bitter and upset, and reminiscing and trying his memory into music I like (and emailing my bf. [not considering him an ex] [email cuz he blocked my number] obsessively until he decides to take me back)

[chiiyuuvv]

GUIDELINES - *.

▪︎ REQUIREMENTS

Member

Plot / ideas

Details

▪︎ OPTIONAL

Song of your choosing

▪︎ OKAY WITH WRITING

Fluff

Suggestive

Fake texts (im still a bit new so work with me)

Soft thoughts

▪︎ DO NOT ACCEPT

smut

angst (a little is fine but not too much)

member x member

Noncon / dubcon (gross)

... i think thats it

DETAILS

Sometimes you guys like to leave me on cliffhangers.. "junmin and the reader walk around the neighborhood" doing what?? Please think to yourself:

Member and reader relationship (ie. established relationship, friends, enemies, strangers..)

What is going on in your request? (ie. junmin and the reader are walking around the neighborhood and they spot a dog)

How fluffy?? **IMPORTANT** (This one is kinda hard to explain but like does junmin hold up the puppy and confess to the reader? Do they take the puppy to a shelter and then kiss? Is there some type of romantic gesture or love language they do?)

Also please specify if you want a drabble (less than 500 words) or a full length imagine (more than 500 words) i dont require lots of details for drabbles but im going to need a good chunk if its full length (you can always dm me if you want) if not specified then im going to make the length how i see fit

HEADCANONS

The only thing i need is a topic that can fit all of the members (ie. playing games with riize) if you cant think of any look at my other headcanons for inspo or look it up or smth idk your request not mine.

BASED OFF OF..

This one is simple too, all i need is "member + whatever headcanon you want it based on"

These imagines will be drabbles, (less than 500 words) and will be posted relatively quicker than the full length imagines since i already have the plot and daydreamed about it.. i just gotta write.

For those that require more than one member at a time (jinsik, seeun, hyunwoo sibling headcanon) the max will be 3 members per ask. And if you are requesting multiple members then please give me your username so i can tag you.

MORE NOTES 💬

Usually when im confused on a request or didnt receive enough information, i ask what you had in mind. If i dont get a response, im not writing the request

Requests are currently open

Please be patient with me, i have school, family, other requests and writers block/laziness.. so im trying to balance everything out

And thank you for supporting me this far 💝

MASTERLIST! – JOIN THE TAGLIST!