#i had these sitting in my screenshot folder since November

[l-e-i-k-o]

so this is love?

[cc-starship]

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

I actually finished up this screenshot edit that’s been sitting around on my computer for months! (Since early November to be precise!) Removed the rest of Barnes’ hair behind where Tendi’s head + the BG is in the edit, and did some minor touchups.

I’m a multishipper and I love Rutherford x Tendi! So cute and sweet, they have a solid relationship.

I couldn’t match Tendi’s palette to the scene for a couple reasons;

1. Didn’t have an exact palette match and didn’t really know how to make one (the red alert scene from Veritas had a slightly different palette as Rutherford’s colouring was different than in the scene above

2. The way I did the lineart and colouring in the piece layers wasn’t the best so easily changing its colour as well as the other colourful areas was pretty impossible, I tried using the colour from a red alert Tendi screenshot a little but it wasn’t vibing.

but I think it looks great regardless of that!

This was my first Lower Decks edit besides editing tiny bits of background or changing eye positioning in my personal LD folders.

I also included the original screenshot for comparison.

[lavisims4]

I finally posted all the screenshots that were sitting in my folders waiting to be edited since november...

If the sims and the house look a bit different next time you see them, it’s because I replaced or deleted some of the CC I had.

[itsbiablr]

How I’m still caught up with my EX, But I’m currently in a relationship

After I broke up with him 2 years ago. I think I made the wrong decision

“I am still holding on to that promise you gave me that night”

Over the past year, when the Pandemic started. I have contemplated a lot of things. What my life had turned out to be if I haven’t left him? If only I am courageous and contented enough to fight for the love, we have despite the distance we had to endure. There are so many questions in my head, regretting all my decisions in the past.

I am a very strict person. Like everything must be perfect, everything must be in order. And everything should go my way, talking to me with more sense. A single mistake will make me leave instantly.

I met him on Instagram. But he says he saw me on Tinder

“Too bad I already uninstalled the app; I wouldn’t see you swiped right” I said

He just smiled.

I was so amazed at how one foreign national would make me interested in conversing straight English back-and-forth. And my perception with Indians: to be perverts, well (all of them are, but it depends if they will be sensitive enough to feel they are already crossing the line). The topics we had didn’t end. I liked how he was so quick-witted with anything I would ask or anything we’d talk about, which I never felt before and was surprised a bit.

4 days into talking, he already popped the question

“Tiffany, would you like to be my girl?”

without any hesitations, I said “I would love to”

On our 2nd month of long-distance dating, Harsh mentioned that he is coming home from the sea (he is a seaman by profession). And asked permission if it's okay that he will be visiting the Philippines to be with me before going back to India. Hearing that made me thrilled, excited, but a bit nervous since this is my 1st ever to entertain a foreigner.

But I immediately said “sure, no problem. See you in a month”

He even planned to bring me back to India since it was “Holi” or Color Festival there that time. My passport, my Visa application was almost finished. And all I had to do was tell him, Yes and he will be getting a plane ticket for me already.  

“All I reason out was I was still new at work. I couldn’t leave so easily”

November came. He went to the Philippines together with his two seniors and went straight to Cebu. He was so pissed that he decided not to talk to me for two weeks for exploring Cebu and Bohol (for not joining him on the trip). Since his seniors had only a week for the trip, he stayed alone for that remaining week all to himself. I have already thought of lots of nasty things. Thinking he was with another girl since he wasn’t talking to me anymore.

On the day of his flight back home. He texted me on WhatsApp “You are lucky my flight got canceled, and I have a layover in Manila and will leave the day after tomorrow”

I replied “Thank God I still have a few hours to see you and be with you”

“See you in a bit” He said.

With no rest, and just got out from work at 7 am. I went home right away to fix myself and get some things and fetched Harsh at the airport. I felt so overwhelmed, thinking that this guy went here to be with me. We booked a hotel nearby so he could rest, then we will be heading out for some dinner.

Months have passed, and we are still together. The year 2019 came, but something felt different. Harsh became distant. And would not talk to me for weeks, then comes back just to let me know that it was okay and was just out with friends. It didn’t feel right. It did go for months

Then I met this guy, well he is my teammate. But I never really thought of us being together since I wasn’t into guys like him, and I am still in a relationship. Since it was just a virtual relationship with the Indian guy, I thought that “Kalu is already over me” (I call him Kalu, which means monkey). We haven’t talked for a month now. And thought that it’s going to be safe for me to entertain other guys since I felt that it wasn’t that serious between us with the virtual thing

So, I entertained Daryl. We’d go on dates. We’d go to lunch together at work and would sit beside each other every day. Everything that I wanted to do with Kalu, I was doing it with Daryl. He gives me all the attention and effort as a boyfriend that I was longing for, for that little amount of time we spent together. I have already forgotten about Kalu

I was still with Kalu while all of these happened. We reconciled. He found out about Daryl, but I just told him that we were just friends because he said he will try to be better and will make it up to me  

After a month of seeing each other behind Harsh back, I noticed that I had missed my period. So weird to think since I’m not late during my period.

I told Daryl, bought a pregnancy kit  

And it came out positive...  

It was a bit hard telling our families that I was pregnant that we had to go thru misunderstandings that I had to stay at Daryl's in the meantime. Still kept this secret from Harsh, thinking why would he care. He couldn’t even give me time to ask how my day went

A week later, a few days after my birthday, Kalu confronted me. He asked me what the reel score of our relationship. He sent all screenshots of our conversation and our pictures together that Daryl sent him as proof that we are dating

I was caught off guard ...

I had to let him know...

I told him that I wanted to break up with him because I want to be with Daryl. After all, he makes me happy different from him. Still, I didn't tell him that I was pregnant with Daryl's child. I don't know how to.

I went to the doctor that week and found out that I was already nine weeks pregnant. I was so happy to know that there will be a tiny human being in my belly that will be growing anytime soon. But I was told by my doctor that the child does not fit well. Don't stress too much

Sometime after that Kalu texted me out of nowhere and said “I miss you, please come back”

I just ignored this message and went off with my life since my happiness was overflowing

But then after 2 weeks, I had a miscarriage. Due to overworking

I was devastated. My doctor advised me to get two months to rest. I was all alone. I had some thoughts, and Kalu went straight into my head and checked my messages  

He sent me a message again

Asking me if I’m okay, and I miss you

But still I ignored them

And he will be messaging me every month

Just to ask how I have been, why did I leave him like that, what did he do to make me leave him, that he still loves me and he wants me to come back

After 6 months of constantly messaging me, I have had enough and told him what happened

Me getting pregnant, having a miscarriage, and having an uncomfortable life with Daryl

Kalu and I exchanged messages for over a month behind Daryl’s back. I was ready to leave him, thinking that I will be in a better situation now that I am no longer carrying Daryl's child, that I am free at last “Come with me in Australia” he said, “We will start a new life”

I didn’t reply. I don’t know what to say.  

After what I did to him, he was still willing to accept me in his life

But in my head ‘I am not 100% sure that he won’t be doing what I did to him before’

And thought about Daryl and the love and sacrifice he has given me this past few month

So, what I did is I ghosted Kalu and blocked him on all of my social media’s again

I only forgot to block him on messenger since his account was already on my spam folder

But nevertheless, he never stopped messaging me for a year

After some time, I unblocked him thinking he already moved on because it showed in his Facebook profile that he was already in a relationship. I, on the other hand, felt contentment with the simple life I have with Daryl.

But there was something inside me that was still waiting for him to message me again

I was right

He messaged me again and again

But this time it made me reply right away, since I have had enough

I have confronted him so that he can stop messaging me, and since he already has a girlfriend. Our dream together has to end here.

“If we are meant to be together in the future, we will be” I said

“Fuck destiny! I want you, I love you please don’t do this to me again” he said

“Why can’t you understand that me and Paul are already happy with each other? I thought you already have a girlfriend. Can’t you at least be happy with her?”

“That’s the problem with you Tiffany, you just assume everything”

“What do you mean?”

“You assumed that I already have a girlfriend just because of a Facebook status, just like how you assumed that I will not accept you just because I found out that you dated Paul behind my back and got pregnant”

“You didn’t tell me. Even if you did, we will still find a way to resolve the issue”

“But I got pregnant”

“Are you still?”

“No”

“See you we’re so selfish, and kept on shutting me off”

“You kept hiding secrets from me, and when I found out you will just walk out of my life and didn’t gave me any reason what was wrong”

“You didn’t even ask if I was okay”

“I’m sorry”

“But I am still willing to start again with you”

“I really am sorry, but I can’t”

“I think this is the last time I will ever talk to you”

“It’s okay, I just hope that you will find happiness and always take good care of yourself. I will forever love you, goodbye”

“It's been 2 years, but I’m still holding on to that promise you gave me that night”