#i had so much hope for the pill prep but NOPE STILL ASS

[galwithalibrarycard]

I’ve come to the conclusion that the only good thing about the covid years is that they gave me an excuse to skip the yearly hell of colonoscopy prep for three years in a row. Sadly, my time has run out and tonight is and has been Suffering Hours again. Also the readmore function on mobile seems to be broken now, so I can’t even complain in relative private out of respect to the squeamish and the many folks in worse situations who don’t deserve to hear me complain and to whom I wish the best.

[clefairytails]

lesbian tag game

thx for sending me this @redcladsheikah <3 all my lesbian friends should do this too, if you want uwu i’m too lazy to tag like 50 ppl hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh @lebians @tiedyked @talaxian @lesbian-mcelroy @ireallylikecameras 

1: did you ever think you were straight?

not really, i knew i liked girls even as a child. but i did go through multiple periods of trying to convince myself i was straight, needless to say it didn’t work out lol.

2: what’s your favorite element of gay culture?

our sense of humor! it’s amazing that we’re all so funny despite putting up with so much bullshit.

3: are you femme, butch, or neither?

femme! i’ve been looking into femme history lately, bcs the idea that femme is just an aesthetic is a misconception c:

4: do you prefer to date femmes or butches?

tbh every time i declare i have a type i immediately fall for someone that’s the complete opposite of that, so i have no idea. lately i’ve been wanting a goth gf, but i just developed a crush on a prep soooo i’m terrible at self-reflection. this bitch don’t know what she want.

5: what’s the worst part about being a lesbian?

the feeling that there’s a part of you that needs to be fixed, but you can’t do anything about it. it’s like seeing a picture on the wall that’s crooked, but it’s stuck like that and you can’t ever straighten it. or having a hair out of place that keeps sticking up no matter how much you try to gel it down.

6: what’s the best part of being a lesbian?

is women too obvious of an answer? girls are angels and i’d die for all of them

7: how long were you questioning for?

pretty much never, i guess. i had crushes on girls since kindergarten, then in 2nd grade i was told girls could only like boys, so i tried my best to be straight even though in my heart i knew i wasn’t. since i couldn’t make myself like boys, i kinda just ignored the idea of liking anyone at all until middle school, when i found out what the word “lesbian” means online. of course, all the stuff i found about lesbians called us disgusting perverts, so i went through many phases of calling myself literally anything else but a lesbian. i’ve only started using the word lesbian specifically in the last few years, especially since i joined an amazing discord group. i love them so much, they’ve helped me feel so proud of being a lesbian <3

8: what’s the most annoying thing straight people do?

exist. 

jk lmao, i’m honestly not annoyed by straight people, but i like making jokes as if i am. it’s hard to annoy me in general, i’ve got a high tolerance for that type of stuff. if i have to answer, i hate it when strangers (usually straight men) pry into my sex life, but i’m not really annoyed by that as much as i am creeped out.

9: what do you look for in a girl?

vampirism is my only requirement.

10: if you had to marry someone you know right now, who would you choose?

@lebians bcs i feel they’d be the most able to put up with my bullshit. everyone else would kill me on sight. if only @ireallylikecameras was still single, then when we got married we could put together our 50% employee discounts at BK and get infinite food for free, ending world hunger. i think that’s how it works, but also im gay and therefore bad at math.

11: do you have a crush right now?

does being in love count as a crush? if so, then i have three.

12: do you fall in love easily?

i crush easily, and i say i’m in love easily bcs i’m a leo (meaning i need to exaggerate to live), but actually feeling love? only once.

13: is there anyone in your life right now you think you’ll date in the future?

fingers crossed.

14: is there anyone you want to be kissing right now?

at the moment i’m feeling very touch repulsed, so no. but i also go through periods of feeling touch starved, and during those times i’d kiss pretty much anyone lmao.

15: do you think you’ve met your future wife yet?

i don’t know if i want to be married. i hate making commitments.

16: top, bottom, or vers?

i suspect i’m a bottom, but i’m also a virgin with no self awareness about what she wants or likes, so who really knows.

17: is there anyone you wish you could fuck right now?

still feeling touch repulsed, so no. also i have issues with actual real life sex. i always think i want to have sex, but when the situation becomes real, i feel disgusted by it and chicken out. i have no idea if this is some sort of asexuality or internalized lesbophobia. i should probably go to therapy lol.

18: rough or gentle?

rough, in theory. like i said, virgin who doesn’t know what she likes. but as a general rule, i don’t like slowness.

19: how many stereotypes do you fit into?

i’m fat, hairy, make lots of jokes about hating men (at least online, not in real life bcs i dont wanna get stabbed), i sometimes look like a guy,

20: what version of the lesbian flag do you like most? (butch, lipstick, original, etc.)

i like the femme one! i have it as my banner, it’s the lipstick lesbian flag without the lip print. the original flag was so fucking good, too bad it got taken by the terfs. the labrys is such a powerful image, and purple is a good color. also i saw a moon lesbian flag going around, that one is so good.

21: do you have a good gaydar?

hhhh i’d like to pretend i do but tbh i’m not very observant and straight up bad at reading people.

22: be honest, would you rather be straight?

yes and no. i’d rather have been born straight, because it would’ve saved me so much pain, but it’s a few years too late for that lol. if there was a magic pill that could make me straight today, i wouldn’t take it. i’ve been through so much as a lesbian, it means something to me now and i wouldn’t trade that for anything.

23: are you cis?

yep.

24: are you a sugar mommy or a sugar baby at heart?

hardcore sugar baby. my dream job is being an older woman’s trophy wife.

25: are you committed to someone at all right now emotionally?

hhhhhhhhhh unfortunately. i don’t want to be.

26: are you looking for a serious relationship currently?

yes, but i shouldn’t be. i don’t think i’m ready to be in one.

27: is there someone you’d like to be in a serious relationship in?

yes, but she’s straight and already married lmao. whoops.

28: do you want children?

no, i’m too selfish and irresponsible.

29: is your family accepting of your sexuality?

my mom and dad are, though they don’t take it very seriously. pretty sure they expect me to grow out of it one day. can’t blame them tho, i’m waiting for the same thing lmao. my extended family is huge, and their opinions range from being extremely homophobic to being gay themselves, but i’m interacting with them less and less as i get older.

30: how confident are you in your sexuality?

very confident, though i don’t want to be. i’m still secretly hoping one day i’ll see a guy i’m attracted to and he’ll fix me, but being realistic, i’m a huge fucking lesbian. women are enchanting.

31: are you polyamorous or monogamous?

monogamous. my insecure ass could not be poly hhhhhh.

32: what advice do you have for your 12 year old self?

be more selfish. you don’t have to put yourself second for the sake of others, especially at your age. nothing you do will matter in a decade, go fucking wild.

33: have you ever been to a gay bar?

nope. i want to go one day, but i have terrible social anxiety.

34: leather jackets or flannel?

both of those are really hot, but i’m gonna go with leather jacket.

35: describe your dream girlfriend

- vampire

- big tiddy goth gf

- nice personality or smthn

- uhhhhhhhhh tiddy

(ok but srsly, i can’t answer this question bcs i NEVER know what i want!! i always thought my type was THICC for sure, but all three of the ladies i have feelings for rn are pretty skinny and flat chested)

36: do you have any lesbian friends?

at least 50 lol.

37: what elements of gay culture do you actively participate in?

air, water, sometimes earth. never fire.

38: do you find straight people irritating?

nope, but i do find straight pda uncomfortable to look at. mostly bcs it reminds me of what i'm supposed to want. but i’d never tell a straight person that, obviously. i’m not rude.

39: would you rather adopt a kid or have a biological kid?

i’ll adopt a tortoise, and feed her any children that cross my path. but if i did ever have a child, i’d want it to be biologically mine and my wife’s. mostly bcs i’d want to know what it would look like, which is a selfish and stupid reason to have kids, and exactly why i’m not gonna lmao.

40: do you love yourself?

i’m a LEO (jokes aside, i don’t know. sometimes i do, sometimes i don’t. but i love myself more as time goes on. definitely more than i did than when i was a teen, at least.)

[shleezaemour]

Yet another 3 days in the infirmary fic!!

I followed him. It was stupid I know but I followed the stupid blonde to the infirmary. My blue eyed captor smiling his brightest smile luring me into a confined corner. Part of me wanted to be normal. Wanted to enjoy the attention. I wasn't raised that way. Not by my mother and not by myself. Setting me up in a corner of the infirmary, turns out Will had everything all planned out. It was concerning. "Ok so here's your room you will be here for three days minimum until I deem you fit for camp. First we are going to do a routine check up and get a history on you. From what I pulled from your records we don't have anything from the last four years but it seems we still have stuff from when you and your sister first arrived." Bianca. Will knew about Bianca.... "Yeah well not much has changed." "I'll be the judge of that sir. Ok I need you to strip down. First shirt then pants. You may keep your underwear on." "Is this really necessary?" "Yes I need to make sure everything is ok Nico. I promise I'm not just trying to get you naked. " I blushed at the idea. Breathe Nico breathe it's just a doctor exam. I took off my clothes and sat on the white canvas cot all made up for me. The ones here in the back were bigger. Must be for stays longer than a night. Taking his time and moving slowly Will moved around me like I was a feral animal. Must be used to kids with PTSD. Kids who look at their swords a little to long and pull from sheath from the sound of a dinner plate breaking. Coming over he sat on a low wooden stool setting out medical implements in a neat row. The more he organized the more nervous I became. I fought monsters and gods and yet Will Solace lining up reflex testers and swabs made me start shaking. Looking me over I could feel his blue orbs absorbing everything from my body. In all honesty I haven't been this undressed in a very long time especially not with someone looking at me. Long warm fingertips grazed my scars. I had so many from the years. Wordlessly he went to work on the Lycon scratches. Mumbling about taking out the stitches and redoing them. "Nico I need to do something and it's going to hurt a lot. I need you to hold still can you do that?" "Yes of course." "Would you like something to bite on? I have a belt." "No I can take it." "Ok. " Pressing his hands on the marks heat swarmed in the area ripping my skin apart. He was reversing what had already healed to the original state of the scratches. The stitches broke as he did this snapping off, barely noticeable compared to the rest of the pain. I could feel blood running down my back. I didn't scream. I didn't even make noise. Taking a hot pad he staunched the bleeding. Grabbing the tools from the table he prepped the area. "I'm going to put some stuff in these to numb them then I'll redo the stitch work." I nodded silently afraid to open my mouth, who knew what would fly out. Will was so concentrated when he worked like nothing could pull his attention away from what he was doing. I had never seen such focus. Especially not in the ADHD hub of people we were around. "What was it you used to numb it?" "Cocaine" "WHAT!" "Geez deathboy it was a joke. It was powered unicorn horn." "Oh good." "Are you saying you have used cocaine?" I was silent. "Nico, I need to know certain things for medical use and drug use is one of them. I'm a doctor for all intents and purposes I can't and won't talk to anyone about it. I need to know for drug interaction though." Damn him and his using logic against me. "I ugh.. I've used it before. And pain pills the mortal kind." "Like Motrin pain meds or like Percocet?" "Vicodin and Oxy." "Last time you took these?" "Before the Doors of death and right after I boarded the Argo II. I ran out." "Did you go through withdrawals?" He asked calmly. "No I've never really been on them regularly enough to withdrawal." "Are these used recreationally?" "Yes." I admitted pitifully. "Hey stop that!" He held his fingers below my chin not allowing me to look down. "Nico, you are not the first demi God to self medicate. You are also not the last. It's ok. We have all done it. Let's just hope we can make it so you don't have to anymore ok?" "It's just... I'm so tired of being in pain all the time." "I know. I can see that. You have so many marks it's hard to count. I finished your stitches they should be able to come out tomorrow with some ambrosia and nectar. I also want to do a sleeping draught for you. I promise it's dreamless. I made it myself." "You promise?" "Yes. I have some in pill form too for you to take with you when you leave. I think two months worth should do the trick. Let your mind heal for a while." "Why are you being so nice to me?" "Because you are letting me." Once again the smile creeped on his face and I couldn't help but smile too. "Ok question time. How many bones have you broken?" "Around 17 or more." "Ok on a scale of 1-10 how tired would you say you get traveling from here to your cabin. Shadow travel that is?" "Umm wow I've never thought about that I guess a 1?" "Ok so that gives me an idea of how far you can go. Do you have an example for me or can give me any insight on your traveling? No other campers can do it so I need your help on this one." "Ok um... I can cross state lines pretty easily. More than 200 miles at a time I need a nights rest by myself. Taking others is more wary. In and around camp is very easy no fatigue. Zero fatigue in the underworld. I can visit my dad easily. " "Ok so let's put a no travel ban on you for a month until you restore your strength. That includes skeletons and earth fissures." "You say that so calmly like you have heard this all before." "Well you would be surprised at some of the powers we run into here. You, Percy, Thalia, and Jason are he most powerful though." "Wait no Annabeth?" "Nope she's no better off than the rest of her siblings. She just happens to have more clout and experience. Makes her seem more powerful when really it's just the confidence behind it." "Makes sense." "Ok I'm hooking up your IV and you will be sleeping very soon." Taking his time and small pinch later he had me hooked up and feeling... feeling really good. I was getting drowsy pulling the covers over me. "Hey Nico?" Yawn.."yeah" "You are staying right? At camp I mean?" "I'll try. I'll give it a real try." "Ok" And I drifted off with thoughts of blonde curls and lapis blue eyes. Day 2 Waking up I could feel the warm covers soft on my skin. My eyes heavy with sleep practically stuck together. "Wake up deathboy time to do checks!" I felt a swat on my behind. "Whoa dude watch the merchandise!" "Merchandise? Are you for sale?" I blushed. "I'm going to reach for your hand now." Taking my hand he looked like he was reading my pulse and other vitals. "Why did you warn me that you were going to touch me." "Cause I didn't want my hand broken." "You just touched my ass and you warn me about my hand." I drawled with sarcasm. "Yeah well I had to get you moving and I knew you wouldn't see it coming. Tell me who else at this camp would even dare try to touch your backside?" "No one unless they have a death wish." "Yeah well see?" "Do you have a death wish?" "Nah but unlike everyone else, I'm not afraid of you." "Oh yeah why is that?" "Because I carried you across camp on my shoulders dangling like a rag doll. You are about the size of a pack of gum." "Oh yeah, short jokes?" "Well I'm sure you have a nice store of blonde jokes you can battle back at me with." He winked. The wink sent a jolt up my spine and made my face flush. "I'll take your blush as a lack of blonde jokes. No worries I know them all!" "Great." "Well we are going to eat now so sit up." Sitting up he had some fruit and oatmeal for me along with a square of ambrosia. Tossing the ambrosia back first I tasted lemon cello cookies. I tried to eat but found it difficult. The apples felt like glass in my mouth. Will saw me struggling with the food. "Hey uh how about we try something else?" "Sure that would be great." Returning ten minutes later after he took the food, he had a large glass of pinkish purple liquid. "It's called a smoothie. " Taking a sip I could taste blackberries mixed with banana and strawberry. It was heavenly. Perfect texture. " I put protein powder in it. Maybe we should think about doing these to put some weight on you before moving into more solid foods." "How did you know?" "Percy. He told me you went through Tartarus. Chiron said he knew a few guys who went through it. Not many escaped alive. He said there is nothing to eat there. He also said that it tricks you into thinking you have food when you don't and you are not really eating what you think you are eating." "Yeah. Something like that." "So until we can get your stomach straight we will do these. No worries we can switch up flavors." "Thanks Will." "Yeah no problem buddy." He ruffled my hair causing me to curse at him in Italian. "Oh none of that now! You were being so good!" "That was before you started treating me like a Labrador that took his treat nice." "Ok no petting you. I think within a month we can have you filling out those tshirts of yours nice. You have a great body already you just need a little weight." "Is this what our friendship is going to be? You and I bickering and making lewd comments about my body?" "Awww did you just call us friends!" "No no no! That's not what I said!" "You did, you totally did!" "Nope you misheard me, my English isn't great." "Your English is fine. Well except how you say my name but I find it kinda charming." "What's that supposed to mean?" "You don't call me Will you say Weel. It's adorable!" "I am not adorable!" "You bickering about it just makes it's more adorable." "I hate you." "What was that? I didn't hear you?" "Oh so English isn't working here I'll help you! ti odio-Italian Daikirai- Japanese ich hasse dich- German je te deteste- French That enough for you or shall I continue?!" "How many languages do you speak?" "Eleven" "Wow! Where did you learn them?" "I would shadow travel a lot ending up in different countries. You pick things up." "That's actually really cool. Would you be willing to come translate when we get new demigods that don't speak English?" "Oh uh yeah sure that's fine. I didn't really think you would want me in here after I'm discharged. The aura of death isn't great in a place of healing." Will sat on the bed and took my hand. Wills hands were strong and warm. Callused over from training and healing. My heart began to race as he touched me. What was wrong with me!! "Death is a natural part of life Nico. I understand that. I've seen more death than most demigods. I was in the last war. My brothers died. Many died under my hands as I tried to bring them back. I'm roughly the same age as you. If people don't understand that then.. well screw them." Wills face was serious and had this little V that formed when he frowned. "Don't frown Will." "Sorry." He tried for a small smile. It was cute. CUTE!! What was this dude doing to me! I snatched my hand back quickly only leaving him chuckling. The rest of the day Will would come in and out of my room. Jason brought me some clothes from my cabin. Sitting with me on the cot we played cards for most of the afternoon. "So how's the vacation?" "I wouldn't call this a vacation. I can't travel for a month. After that I'm thinking maybe a real one would be nice. Maybe Jamaica. " "You hate the sun." "Yeah well maybe I've been in the dark to long." "Sounds like Goldie locks is rubbing off on you." "I don't know what you are talking about. And you are Goldie locks in my head." "Aww you have a nickname for me in your head!" "Why is everyone doing that!?" "Doing what?" "Doing the Awww Nico likes me bit." "You like me!" "Shut the fuck up Grace!" "Language Nico!" Wills voice chimed in as he walked threw the partition. "I seriously need to rid my life of blondes." "Oh gods Grace what did you say to him." "I did the awww Nico likes me thing." "Yeah I did that when he called us friends." "I did not call us friends we are not friends!" "We are so friends, we are best friends." "Yeah we'll go fish best friend." I said with acid dripping from my mouth. (Later that night...) Wills POV I heard thrashing from the back corner of my infirmary. Running back I realized it was Nico. The IV I had him on came loose in his sleep! Shit! A nightmare! Plugging his IV back in his arm I started to rush his hair back out of his eyes. Nico dreams in Italian it seems from the mumbled words coming from his lips. Soon he started to settle, maybe even waking up a little. "Will..? Is that you." He said sleepily not even opening his eyes. "Yeah it's me. Your IV fell out but I put it back." I whispered. "Oh good... will you stay with me incase he comes back?" " Yeah sweetie I'll stay." I took his hand. I know it seems presumptuous to call him sweetie but I was tired and I was used to scared patients. They like endearments when they are scared. Nico must have been sleep talking because he didn't even budge at my words. I took his hand clasping it in my own. Fingers long and thin like a piano player or a violinist. More scarred and callused than any warrior I've treated. Honestly he is probably the most broken of anyone I've treated. Asleep his name fit him perfectly. Angelic was the only word. He has those big heavy lidded eyes and pouty lips that drive me crazy. I've had it bad for this boy for years now and this may be my only chance to indulge in this kind of contact. Soon I fell asleep still holding his hand. Day three Nicos POV I woke up with something hot in my hand, almost burning compared to my naturally low body temp. Wills hand. I almost snatched it back until I realized he was asleep. Hmmm he's a quiet sleeper even sitting up in the chair? I allowed myself a few moments of daydreaming. Will was really attractive. I hated to admit that but he was. Also he wasn't afraid of me the way others were. I liked that. I pushed him away countless times yet, bam here he is holding my hand. I tried to remember how this could have happened.... the nightmare! My IV fell out that's right! Did I? Did I ask him to stay? I did. Shit! Well to late now. I circled my thumb across his palm. Smooth and even. Not scarred like me. I've seen him with his shirt off at the beach once before too. Will was smooth and unmarked everywhere. Perfection if there is such a thing. Why was I feeling this way it's not like we haven't spent a bunch of time together. We have only really interacted like five or so times before this. Of course that just made me realize how much I have noticed him in the past. Looks like I have a thing for nice tans and light eyes. Never really liked blondes but on someone like him it looks really good. Reminded me of his father but less selfish. Will was upbeat and humble. Qualities that are worth prizing. Will Solace should be shadow boxed and put on display. Damn this is worse than Percy. Stirring in his seat I decided to play possum so I could still hold his hand. Closing my eyes I stayed still listening to his movements. Instead of bringing his hand back he rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. Readjusting his hand he laced our fingers and began rubbing small circles on the tender flesh of my inner wrist. The motion was doing things to me. When I was little I remember this being a very forward gesture. A man would flick the button of s woman's glove open and caress the veins of her wrist. It was the equivalent of putting your hand up a girls blouse in public nowadays. I may be wrong... but I think he might like me.