#i had no idea the servers shut down last year

[drakorn]

Rewriting Veilguard Part 1 - The World State

Disclaimer: I don't hate the game, I actually think it's quite great given the development hell Bioware went through in those 10 years. This is more of a hypothetical universe where there was less of that behind the scenes drama. Just a fun writing exercise.

Expanding Veilguard's World State Editor

Like many of us, I was disappointed with the total amount of choices carrying over from past games being only three, one of which dealt with romance, two with decisions made in the Trespasser DLC, and all of them being from Inquisition. This already set the precedent that we shouldn’t really be expecting the game to be as connected to our unique Thedas as we have come to be used to from previous titles—no more uniquely flavoured codex entries, no more small but sweet cameos here and there that make the world itself feel like a larger place that we had helped shape.

Given The Veilguard’s very troubled production history of multiple delays, staff layoffs, and all-around restarts of the entire project, it is honestly a surprise that we even got three choices, so credit where credit is due. They made with what they had. But what if The Veilguard had this vision from the start? What if there wasn’t any of this meddling? What if Bioware simply had more time and control? What if they could truly let us import the World State this game deserved?

Now, for this hypothetical rewritten playthrough, I’m going off from the fact that the Dragon Age Keep will not be used; I actually found it a neat idea to tick my three choices in the character creator, and it would have probably been better had Inquisition done something similar. Why do I think that? Because it means we are not running into any dangers of servers potentially shutting down, leaving us trapped in the canon we happened to have imported last. Converting the Keep into an offline editor was a good idea, but unfortunately not executed nearly enough as, let’s face it, we all expected. So we’re gonna have some fun for Veilguard.

Disclaimer: I’m going to refer to the game’s title as Veilguard from now on, not “the” Veilguard. I really don’t like the change of having a “the” in a series of otherwise one-word, or one-number, titles.

Of course, we have to be realistic about this. It is virtually impossible to implement every single decision from across all three games, and those that can be implanted can’t alter the main plot too much. Certainly, we like to imagine and picture things, but let’s approach this from an actually doable point of view.

Right, so imagine you just finalised your Rook, and then get a screen titled “Past Adventures”. Not just “The Inquisition”. And it would take up the entire screen instead of being shoved somewhere in the corner of the final CC page, which many people missed. I could have missed it too, had I not known beforehand that it was going to be there!

It would say something akin to “You can customise the protagonists and several events from the games Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age II, and Dragon Age: Inquisition. These choices will have both major and minor effects on the plot of Veilguard. If this is your first Dragon Age title, you would be advised to skip this section for now, as you may otherwise risk getting overwhelmed. A default World State has been pre-generated for the game.”

Why did I add this disclaimer? Because it would show us, right from the get-go, that we respect both new and old players. If you’re a new player, feel free to skip this part as it won’t matter to you anyway and, quite frankly, you wouldn’t want to spend an eternity in the character creator doing things you might not even be familiar with. But if you’re a returning player or someone who has read up on recaps and watched countless lore videos, come on right in, we’ve got you covered, don’t worry! We know how much time you spent meticulously crafting your World State for Inquisition, so join us and customise to your heart’s content.

If you choose to not skip ahead (honestly the only time I would click “skip” on that shit is if I was a new player), you will be presented with three tarot cards, one shows the griffon, the Grey Warden symbol, one shows Kirkwall’s heraldry, and one shows the Inquisition’s banner. Here’s your previous three games. And now we get to customise them a little. The little gremlin in me would be quite gleefully rubbing his hands at this prospect.

Past Adventures: The Blight

We open the first slide and are immediately hit with a crimson screen and an ambient reprise of several of Inon Zur’s themes from DAO. I loved this part in the game, when you click to customise your Inquisitor and are immediately hit with “Calling the Inquisition”. Really great stuff for early emotions. Now let’s actually customise things.

The Hero of Ferelden

I do not expect us to actually be able to recreate the Warden in the flesh, but I believe they should be at least brought up in conversation or mentioned in codex entries and letters. Here are the things we get to customise about them specifically:

The Hero: Here, we get to tick the race, gender, class, and background for our Warden. Again, no character creator, just fancy tarot cards. But guess what? That would already be more than enough for what we can do. At least we know the game acknowledges their continued existence.

The Warden’s fate: Did the Hero of Ferelden perform the ultimate sacrifice?

Romance: Who did your Warden romance, if at all?

The Companions

Now that our Warden is set, we jump over to DAO’s companions. Each companion has their own little mini-section. The first few questions will always be “Did you even recruit them? And if so, did they survive? If so, were you on good terms or not?” These questions, depending on the answers, will immediately lock or open the more specific ones. Which are, as follows:

Did the Warden have Morrigan perform the Dark Ritual?

What is Alistair’s ultimate fate?

Was Sten reunited with his sword?

What happened to Loghain?

What happened to Marjorlaine?

The Battle of Ostagar

What happened to the prisoner at Ostagar?

The Arl of Redcliffe

What is Connor’s fate?

Is Isolde alive?

Did you help Bevin and return his sword?

The Urn of Sacred Ashes

What happened to the Urn?

The Nature of the Beast

How was the situation between the Dalish and the werewolves resolved?

A Paragon of Her Kind

What happened to the Anvil of the Void?

Who rules Orzammar?

Did the Warden help Brother Burkel create a Chantry in Orzammar?

Did the Warden prove the Legion of the Dead was connected to a noble house?

Did Orta join the Assembly?

Warden’s Keep

What happened to Sophia and Avernus?

Denerim

Did the Warden complete Slim Couldry’s crime wave?

Who rules Ferelden?

Who killed Urthemiel?

Awakening

What happened to Nathaniel?

What happened to the Architect?

What happened to Vigil’s Keep and Amaranthine?

As you can see, I have not included all the choices, just the ones I think can be carried over in both realistic and interesting manners. Not all of them will heavily feature in the game; in fact, many of them are for flavour and codex entries only, but there is still merit in those. We know there is a whole lot of stuff happening in the South thanks to the letters the Inquisitor regales us with. So let’s put some world-state uniqueness to those letters. But in this rewrite, some of these choices will, in fact, feature in a more substantial manner.

And that’s Dragon Age: Origins done! Moving on to the next one!

Past Adventures: The Tale of the Champion

When we enter this screen, the CC assumes Kirkwall’s orangey-yellow tone and we get a reprisal of the key DA2 themes by Inon Zur, the most prominent one being, of course, Hawke’s family theme. This one is not going to be as big as DAO, but there are a few important factors nevertheless, especially concerning possible deaths and survivals.

The Champion of Kirkwall

Unlike the Hero of Ferelden, Hawke will actually be customisable in this one. Because no matter whether or not they were sent to the Fade or Weisshaupt, there is always the potential for them to still be alive. So, here are the choices regarding Hawke:

The Champion: Here you can customise Hawke’s gender, class, and personality.

Who did Hawke romance, if at all?

The Party

Pretty much every companion’s card, aside from a few, will have the questions “Did you recruit them?”, “Are they still alive?”, and “Were they friend or rival to Hawke?” at the forefront. Most of it is gonna be flavour, but it’s still my flavour, dammit!

What happened to Bethany or Carver?

What happened to Isabela and the Tome of Koslun?

What happened to Fenris and Danarius?

What happened to Merrill, her eluvian, and Clan Sabrae?

What happened to Bartrand?

What happened to Anders when the Chantry exploded?

Did Hawke approve of Ander’s actions?

Did Aveline marry Donnic?

The Tale of the Champion

Did Hawke protect the Bone Pit from all its dangers?

What happened to Feynriel?

Did Hawke let Zevran go?

Did Nathaniel survive?

Did Hawke side with the mages or the templars?

Fewer choices are carrying over here compared to DAO, but many of the events that occurred in DA2 are only relevant to Kirkwall’s immediate fate, which is already resolved by the time of DAI. Many of these will be flavour again, but some of them, I’m not going to say which, will definitely have a bigger impact.

Right, we’re done with DA2, let’s move on to the last one!

Past Adventures: The Inquisition

And here we get to the big one, the game that most directly impacts much of DAV’s story. We click on the last page and get the green shades and DAI’s ambience themes, a beautiful reprisal of Trevor Morris’ great hits. I would like to once again reiterate how emotional the CC music made me feel here when I was playing the game. Let us now customise our choices.

The Inquisitor

While the Hero of Ferelden will be a background figure in letters and codex entries, and Hawke more of a minor character with a significant role, the Inquisitor will have a much larger presence. Just how large, you’ll find out soon. But for now, let’s customise them:

The Inquisitor: Here you can customise your Inquisitor’s race, gender, class, and specialisation. Their personality as well, for while it wasn’t as apparent as with Hawke, the Inquisitor does still have a distinct range of dialogue choices. You can still be diplomatic, lighthearted, or even rough.

Who did the Inquisitor romance, if at all?

The Inner Circle

As with the other companion sections, pretty much all slides here will feature the “Did you actually recruit them?”, “Are they still around?”, and “Are you friends or not?” questions. Alongside a few specific ones that will definitely have more of an impact here.

Did Dorian resolve the issue with his father?

What happened to Blackwall?

Did the Iron Bull remain loyal to the Qun?

Did Cassandra rebuild the Seekers of Truth?

Did Cassandra discover the book of secrets and what did she do with it?

What happened to Harmond?

Which path did Cole choose?

What happened to Solas’ friend?

Did Varric track down the red lyrium source?

Did the Inquisitor give Vivienne the heart of a snow wyvern?

How was Cullen’s lyrium dilemma resolved?

How did the Inquisitor help Josephine resolve her family’s fortunes?

Was Leliana hardened or softened?

The Path of the Inquisitor

Did the Inquisitor embrace or denounce their title of Herald of Andraste?

Did the Inquisition side with the mages or the templars?

What was the general principle upon which the Inquisition was founded?

Who rules Orlais?

Who stayed behind in the Fade?

What happened to the Grey Wardens after Adamant Fortress?

What happened to Samson or Calpernia?

Who drank from the Well of Sorrows?

Did the Inquisitor respect the rituals at the Temple of Mythal?

Who became Divine Victoria?

The Inquisition’s Influence

Did the Inquisitor ally with the Hinterland cultists?

Was the rift in Crestwood closed?

Was Caer Bronach captured?

Did the Inquisitor make a deal with Imshael?

Was Suledin Keep captured?

Was Griffon Wing Keep captured?

Was Sutherland’s company formed?

What tone did the Inquisitor’s judgments take?

Jaws of Hakkon

Did the Inquisitor learn Ameridan’s fate?

Was Hakkon slain?

Did the Inquisitor share the truth about Ameridan?

The Descent

Did the Inquisitor stop the earthquakes from destroying the Deep Roads?

Trespasser

What is the ultimate fate of the Inquisition?

What is the Inquisitor’s final goal regarding Solas?

Again, this looks like a lot, and it is, but bear in mind that a lot of these will only have minor impacts on the story in the form of cameos and codex entries. However, there are several major DAI choices that will have significant impact.

For our hypothetical rewrite, I shall not list every single choice I made for my imaginary playthrough. Instead, I shall reveal them as we go along so as not to clutter the space too much. And it’s a bit more fun this way.

And that’s the World State editor finally done! I believe all of these choices are able to feature in some capacity, be it big or small. But no matter if it’s a big world-changing consequence or simple flavour texts and cameos, it will still be our Thedas, our own unique version of it that we helped shape.

Now that the past is dealt with, let’s look at the present. Next time we’ll talk about Rook, the six factions, and why a DAO-style origin story selection would have not only been beneficial but very doable.

[fraternum-momentum]

i didnt know this game died,,, rip exorcist cain,, ur design was too good for this game

[dracolizardlars]

The poeticism of one of the final four remaining Mario Maker 1 levels that have not yet been completed by anyone except for their own maker being titled "The Last Dance".

[patchworkgargoyle]

with a bang 🎊

A gift for the lovely and talented Joey (@matchingbatbites) as part of our STuad server holiday gift exchange! I hope you enjoy, and have a lovely new year <3

Based on the prompts: impact play, secret relationship, and "don't be mean to me." Fingers crossed I did them justice! Rated: E || 4.7k words || CW: impact play, unprotected sex Full tag list on ao3!

Eddie was going to combust. He was also debating whether he should plot Robin’s untimely demise or send her a Thank You bouquet. Dressing up for their New Years party had been her idea, after all, and once she got Nancy on her side there was no swaying either of them, no matter how much the rest of them had hemmed and hawed. Eddie didn’t see a point to it; he’d thought they were just calling it a New Years party as an excuse to hang out without the rugrats for once, but then Robin wanted to make it a party party. With champagne and shit. And fancy clothes.

Once Argyle had confirmed he could wear whatever colours he wanted, so long as the clothes were dressy, Eddie knew his fate was sealed. He’d been the biggest—and loudest—nay-sayer, but with Jonathan, Steve, and Vickie being more or less neutral, his hard-fought battle against a dress code had been lost.

And jesus christ, is he ever glad he lost.

He got to Steve’s place last after he hit up the liquor store, the three bottles of the cheapest sparkling wine in his arms bought with their pooled funds. They nearly smashed on the Harrington stoop when Steve opened the front door he’d obnoxiously kicked looking like… well.

Steve owned a suit, apparently. A nice one. God, it must be tailored or some shit with how well it fit. His shoulders were so broad in the suit jacket, the black tie looking at home around Steve’s throat under the pressed white collar. Black dress pants made his legs long. Even that signature swoop in his hair was perfectly coiffed. Eddie’s eyes devoured the sight before him, and the first and foremost thought in his mind was that he wanted to get Steve out of that suit as soon as goddamn possible. Especially when Steve began to smirk at him knowingly.

His second thought was that he was so screwed.

They’d been hooking up for a bit now, was the thing. It was new. They hadn’t told anyone yet because they wanted to keep it to themselves, figure it out a little, have fun before the kids learned about it and got nosy. When they’d started talking about going on dates, though—and if his past self knew he’d be planning a date with Steve Harrington he’d blow a gasket—they’d agreed to say something once New Years was over. But how the hell was Eddie going to keep his mouth shut, not to mention his hands to himself, when Steve looked like that!?

“You’re wearing that?” he hissed. “This is cruel and unusual, Steve. This is torture. Why are you dressed like that when I can’t do anything about it!”

Shrugging, Steve whispered, “It’s my only suit, it’s all I had to wear.”

Eddie felt he was being too nonchalant about this and narrowed his eyes. He opened his mouth to complain more but then he heard Nancy’s voice from inside. “What are you guys doing? It’s cold out!” she said with a laugh, and Steve cocked an eyebrow and stepped aside so Eddie could come in.

Steve took the bottles so Eddie could get out of his coat, and he did notice, with no small amount of satisfaction, that Steve’s eyes were on him too. Eddie might not have a tailored suit, but his black dress shirt and slacks fit him pretty damn well, he figured, and the way Steve was looking at him made it clear he thought the same. Eddie stuck his tongue out between his teeth and wiggled his eyebrows at Steve suggestively and earned a dark, desirous look from him that promised later and sent a thrill down Eddie’s spine.

But later was getting harder and harder to wait for. As their little party went on, Steve found more ways to drive Eddie up the fucking wall, when he’d rather be pushed into the wall, secrecy be damned.

It was all the little touches, the fleeting looks. Steve developed a habit of tugging on Eddie’s belt loops when no one was looking, or the sleeve of his shirt; something that would grab Eddie’s attention and pull him just a smidge closer. When they’d ended up sitting next to each other on the couch Steve gradually shifted into Eddie’s space and their thighs kept touching, and Eddie couldn’t stop thinking about how it felt to have his legs tangled with Steve’s in his bed. And then, when their eyes met, Eddie swore Steve would check him out. It was always quick, but he could practically feel it when Steve looked at his lips, or where his shirt collar was undone. Eddie went red every time.

Eventually Eddie decided to give as good as he got, though that may have also been fueled by the cheap wine. He’d watch Steve over the rim of his glass until Steve caught on and licked his lips when Steve’s eyes flicked downward, only glancing away after a few seconds of holding his gaze. Letting his arm drape casually over the back of the couch so he could brush his fingers down the nape of Steve’s neck was absolutely a risk, but it was worth it when Steve’s breath hitched and he stumbled over his words. He was talking to Jonathan, though, who was high as a kite and didn’t notice. Hopefully.

They kept upping the ante all night and Eddie was a stiff breeze away from getting hard from all the tension by the time midnight crept up on the group. Five minutes before the countdown, Nancy herded them all out to Steve’s backyard in a rush. The town stretched out in the distance, lights glittering in the dark winter night. An occasional screech and flash of colour from premature fireworks interrupted the anticipatory silence that hung over Hawkins. Vickie helped Robin uncork the last bottle of champagne, and the teens passed it around, refilling their glasses as they huddled close to fend off the cold.

“Did we really have to stand outside for this?” Steve grumbled. He stood between Eddie and Robin and kept bumping shoulders with both of them.

“Duh, we can’t see the fireworks from inside, dingus,” Robin said, even though she shivered the hardest out of all of them. Vickie was tucked into her side and had her arms wrapped around Robin’s waist to try to keep warm.

Steve crossed his arms and glared out across the snowy lawn. “We could’ve grabbed our coats at least.”

“I did mean to give us more time to get ready, but it’s too late now.” Nancy looked at her watch. “Two minutes until midnight.”

When Eddie shoved his free hand in his pocket and shivered extra hard, Steve leaned into him, and it took every bit of willpower to not give in to the urge to rest his head on Steve’s shoulder. Or kiss him. The idea of being openly affectionate with Steve made Eddie feel all fizzy inside in the best way. He was glad they were going to tell everyone after this. As fun as it had been, keeping this between themselves, he was getting tired of having to hide how he felt. He wanted their friends to know, wanted to touch and kiss his boyfrie—Steve without having to sneak around.

“Anyone got a wish they wanna make?” Argyle asked, and everyone else shot him confused looks.

“I don’t think people make wishes on New Years,” Jonathan said haltingly. “Do you mean resolutions?”

“Nah dude, I think wishes are better. Less pressure, y’know?”

Eddie tipped his head thoughtfully. “That’s a good point,” he said, and Argyle beamed at him.

“Yeah, that sounds like a nice idea.” Vickie agreed. “We should all think of a wish!”

“Just don’t say what it is or it won’t come true. Told my sister that I wished on a dandelion that my skateboard would never break but the next day it snapped like–” Argyle mimed breaking something over his knee, complete with sound effects. “It was a total bummer, man.”

“Wasn’t that the one you cracked and duct taped over?” Jonathan asked, bloodshot eyes narrowed as he tried to remember.

“Yeah, but like, with the good tape.”

Nancy gave an amused, but pinched, smile when she said, “Half a minute.”

Steve shuffled and Eddie looked over at him. He was so unfairly handsome tonight, freckled cheeks and nose flushed from the chill, and though his hair wasn’t quite as perfect anymore it just made him look roguish. Eddie wanted to get his hands in it. He wanted to kiss Steve so much it hurt. Subtly, Eddie slipped his hand from his pocket and wiggled the tips of his fingers in-between Steve’s, and Steve looked down at his feet to hide his smile, giving Eddie’s fingers a brief squeeze.

His heart beat a rapid staccato in his chest and Eddie knew right then what he was going to wish for.

“Ten seconds!” Nancy announced, then counted down, and everyone joined in, grinning at each other excitedly. Five seconds, three, one, and–

A whole chorus of screeching, banging fireworks from the town almost drowned out their cheers of Happy New Year! A riot of colours burst across the sky, spilling over the untouched snow and lighting up their faces, and Eddie silently sent his wish up into the sky with them.

Steve didn’t look at anyone but him, his face soft with affection. And Eddie couldn’t take his eyes off Steve. The fireworks looked better reflected in his eyes anyway.

“Hey, can you help me grab something from inside?” Steve asked, and Eddie nodded frantically.

Robin snorted when Steve and Eddie scampered off, but Eddie paid her no mind. He was too busy following Steve through the house filled with the loud music they’d forgotten to turn off. When he realised they were heading upstairs, heat began to burn low in his belly and anticipation buzzed under his skin. He wasn’t sure if they were out of view yet, but he didn’t care, giving Steve’s ass a light smack and smirking when Steve shot a glare over his shoulder. How could he be expected to resist? It was right in front of him!

They hurried down the hallway to Steve’s room, and Eddie was barely through the doorway when Steve shut it and crowded him up against it to kiss him. Eddie groaned hungrily and parted his lips for Steve’s tongue, the kiss turning messy with their enthusiasm. He felt Steve yanking his shirt out of his slacks and flinched, gasping, when Steve’s cold fingers touched his scarred sides.

“Been driving me nuts all night, Eds,” Steve muttered against Eddie’s lips, his hands inching up Eddie’s shirt. “You look so good all dressed up, god. When you touched my neck I almost caved and pinned you to the couch.”

Eddie laughed. “I couldn’t help myself,” he purred.

“Yeah well, it was a dick move.” Steve reached Eddie’s chest and swiped his chilly thumb over Eddie’s hardened nipple before pinching and rolling it, making him whimper. “Kinda think I should get some payback for it.”

“Don’t be mean to me, Stevie,” Eddie said, but his tone was deliberately teasing even as he squirmed a bit under Steve’s hands. He loved pressing his luck with Steve, pushing his buttons and seeing what it got him.

Steve arched an eyebrow, then shoved his knee between Eddie’s thighs, pressing into Eddie’s rapidly hardening cock. His mouth fell open and he rocked into the pressure. But then Steve’s hands grabbed him by the hips and held him still, pinned to the door, and Eddie whined.

“You teased me all night, and you think I’ll make it easy for you?” Steve smirked before he leaned down to kiss Eddie’s collarbones, nipping at Eddie’s skin to make him twitch ineffectually in his grip. All the while, he kept lightly grinding his thigh against Eddie’s dick, barely enough movement to taunt him.

Eddie groaned. “You teased me too!”

Steve slapped Eddie’s thigh and the shock of it, more than the light sting of it, made Eddie bite his lip to muffle a moan. “You made it worse,” Steve whispered into his ear as he soothed the spot he’d slapped with a gentle touch. “So yeah, I’m gonna be a little mean.”

Teeth caught his earlobe and Eddie shuddered, unable to contain a triumphant grin. Holy shit, he was excited for this. He fucking loved it when this side of Steve came out to play.

Straightening up, Steve let go of Eddie’s hips to work at the knot in his tie. “Ride my thigh,” he said as the knot came free and he whipped the tie off, flinging it somewhere into the room. Eddie nodded and started rolling his hips. The relief at being able to move was almost as powerful as the surge of arousal he felt at the command. His slacks were tight over his cock but the friction was so delicious. Steve’s strong thigh kept Eddie’s legs apart enough that he had to brace himself on Steve’s shoulders. It gave him enough stability to really grind, and jesus christ, between all the flirting and teasing and touching all night, and this, Eddie could already feel his orgasm building. Shit.

And the way Steve looked wasn’t helping anything. A lock of hair had come free over his forehead, making him look more artfully dishevelled, and Steve had unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt, dark curls of hair peeking out. Eddie wanted to eat him, be eaten by him. He dug his fingers into Steve’s shoulders and pulled him into a demanding kiss, licking into his mouth and swallowing his low moan.

While they kissed, Steve made quick work of Eddie’s shirt, and as soon as it was gone Steve’s hands were on him again, greedy and grasping. One wide palm held the back of his head, tugging lightly at his hair, and the other guided Eddie’s hips faster. Heat blazed in his gut and Eddie’s desperate grinding was starting to lose its tempo.

“S-Steve, oh fuck, gonna come in my pants i-if I keep going,” Eddie rasped.

“You can keep going a little longer,” Steve replied, no, insisted.

“I can’t,” Eddie whined. Steve slapped his thigh again, harder this time, and Eddie’s whine went embarrassingly high and reedy.

“Might have to be a little mean if you can’t keep going. Do you want that, baby?”

Oh yes he fucking did. “Yes, yes, fuck, Steve, yes I do,” he babbled, and Steve clicked his tongue like he was disappointed. But all Eddie saw in his face was devoted hunger, hazel eyes intense with it, making something swoop in Eddie’s gut.

“Your choice,” Steve said casually. Then he slapped him again, on the same, still stinging spot, and Eddie threw his head back as he came soundlessly, making a mess of his boxers, immediately feeling warm and sticky as he gasped for air and clung to Steve.

Steve held him through it, made sure his head didn’t smash into the door, muttering, “So pretty when you come, Eddie. Couldn’t help it, could you? S’okay. You’ll make it up to me.”

“I will, I will Steve, whatever you want.”

“Good boy,” Steve said, low and confident. Eddie shivered at the words and his eager groan was silenced when Steve kissed him, taking him by the hand and leading him with teasing, bitey kisses to the bed.

Eddie’s knees hit the bed and he let himself fall, bouncing on the eyesore of a duvet and quickly scrambling to get his slacks off, cringing at the way his cum made his boxers stick to him. At least he had a spare pair here. Steve grabbed the lube from his nightstand and chucked it onto the bed, then stood between Eddie’s legs and stared, swallowing at the sight of Eddie sprawled out on his bed. Smirking, Eddie spread his legs further, tilting his chin back as he tossed his hair. Seeing Steve still fully clothed, in a suit no less, hard cock bulging in his dress pants while Eddie was bare fucking naked below him made Eddie feel electric. He wiggled a little just to ease the frisson skittering along his nerves.

“Like what you see?” he asked.

Reaching out, Steve trailed his big fingers along the sensitive skin of Eddie’s inner thigh reverently, goosebumps rising in his wake. “Always do.” 

How Steve managed to sound turned on and sincere, Eddie had no idea, but it made his heart do flips in his chest.

Steve started slowly undoing the buttons of his shirt as his eyes lingered over Eddie’s body. “Turn over for me,” he said, and Eddie obeyed quickly, getting on his knees and elbows. Stretching out across the blankets, he looked over his shoulder at Steve and wiggled his ass in the air.

“C’mon Stevie,” he urged, drawing out the syllables, “I wanna know what you’re planning in that pretty head of yours.”

“Jesus, you’re impatient.” Steve shook his head, but there was a fond smile tugging at his lips and he did speed up. Once undressed—and Eddie would never get over the sight of Steve naked, or the sheer size of his cock, jesus christ—he stepped closer to the bed and yanked Eddie in by his hips, making him yelp. “Maybe you should ask me politely,” he said.

“Pretty please, Stevie, with a cherry on t—aah!”

The slap to his asscheek rang out in the room, the sting radiating out all warm and tingly. Eddie made a short, whiny noise as his dick gave a valiant twitch. There was a click from behind him and Eddie jumped when he felt cold lube drip over his hole, then down his taint. Steve dragged his thumb through it, then rubbed soothingly over the ring of muscle.

“Count them for me.”

Eddie nodded and counted that first slap, then the next two, alternating sides each time. Steve kept massaging his hole, then pressing in gently when Eddie relaxed between each smack. By the fifth slap Eddie’s cheeks were prickling painfully, and his cock started to fill out again, hanging heavy between his legs and twitching almost painfully at every slap. He knew his pale skin must be so red.

Steve paused and brushed his free hand over Eddie’s heated, sore skin. “You doing okay, Eds?”

“Yep, oh yeah, so fucking okay,” he breathed, “green, golden, whatever. I’m so good.”

Laughing, Steve bent over and kissed the small of Eddie’ back. “Such a good boy for me, baby. Now keep counting.”

With each smack, Eddie felt his belly tighten further and further. He was so fucking aroused he’d began to writhe and rock back onto Steve’s thumb, then his fingers when he started stretching Eddie, prepping him. By the time they got to nine, Eddie was shaking, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

“Oh god, Steve, please, I want you to fuck me already, please please please,” he begged.

“I dunno. You think you’ve made it up to me yet?”

Another slap, and Eddie sobbed out, “Ten! Yes, please Stevie, I’ve been good!”

Steve’s fingers pulled out of Eddie’s hole and he sobbed again, clenching around nothing. “You’re okay, Eds, you have been good, I’ve got you,” Steve reassured. There was a wet sound, and soon enough the blunt head of Steve’s slicked-up cock pressed against Eddie’s stretched hole. He rubbed his clean hand down along the curve of Eddie’s spine, the tender touch almost overwhelming in comparison to the hot pain in his cheeks. “Ready?” Steve asked.

“God yes.”

Eddie muffled his guttural moan in the covers as Steve pushed in, also groaning in relief. And he didn’t waste much time. Eddie was loose enough that Steve’s short, sharp thrusts brought them flush together with little effort, though Eddie still felt stretched out and so fucking full. They stayed like that for a moment, adjusting to the feeling together. The way Steve breathed, heavy and quick, told Eddie that he was getting control of himself. That Steve was close to coming just from slapping him around made him grin and squeeze around his cock like a tease.

“Eddie, that’s unfair,” Steve grunted and grabbed a small handful of ass in retaliation. Pain burned deliciously under his hand.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” Eddie said only a tiny bit insincerely. He felt Steve laugh more than he heard it.

Then Steve started to move again. The slow drag of his cock made Eddie shudder, able to feel every vein before he plunged back in again. Groaning low in his throat, Steve said, “Fuck, Eddie, wish you could see yourself.” Both his hands grabbed at Eddie’s ass, and he jerked and whimpered at the pain. “So pretty and red.”

Eddie just whined wordlessly, and Steve’s thrusts sped up. Fists white-knuckled in the covers, he rocked back eagerly, desperate for the feeling rising like a tide about to crash over him. Steve’s cock felt so fucking good, but then Steve got a knee up on the mattress and he draped himself over Eddie’s back and the angle drove him right into Eddie’s prostate, over and over. Eddie couldn’t help the sweet, needy cries that tumbled out of his mouth as his pleasure mounted.

Fingers entwined with his. It was Steve’s favourite thing to do during sex and it’d quickly become Eddie’s too. One more point of connection, a soft gesture no matter how hard they were fucking each other, and it made Eddie melt every time. He squeezed Steve’s fingers, maybe a little too hard, but Steve just fucked him faster, the sound of skin slapping against sweaty skin mingling with their moaning.

“Steve, gonna come, soon, holy shit. T-touch me? Please, want you to touch me,” Eddie said.

“Me too, god, I’ve got you.”

Reaching down, Steve wrapped his hand around Eddie’s aching, dripping cock and jerked him in time with his thrusts. Eddie was fucking overwhelmed. Steve’s hand, Steve’s cock, he didn’t know which feeling to chase, couldn’t tell the difference as he sped towards the crest of his climax. Fresh tears sprang to his eyes, his legs shook, the only anchor he had was Steve’s hand in his and he clung to it as he moaned Steve’s name.

“I’m so close, wanna come with you,” Steve begged raggedly. “Come for me, Eddie, please baby.”

The urgency in his voice and the way Steve’s rhythm grew sloppy and rough pushed Eddie over the edge finally, gloriously. His orgasm crashed over him and he came with a choked cry, rutting into Steve’s grip as he spilled on the duvet. Steve’s forehead dropped onto Eddie’s back and with a few hard pumps of his hips he came too, warm and deep inside Eddie.

Eddie’s legs gave out and he collapsed on the bed, grunting when Steve came down with him. They both laughed breathlessly, and Steve rolled off him, lazily scooting up the bed and trying to pull Eddie along too. Though he felt like a limp noodle, Eddie gave in and fumbled his way up and into Steve’s sweaty arms. Head resting on his chest, Eddie could hear how Steve’s heartbeat steadily slowed to something calm, and could feel his own slow to match.

Music was still blasting downstairs, and fireworks were still going off here and there outside. One flashed close to Steve’s window, a shower of green and gold that lit up Steve’s gorgeous eyes.

“Happy New Year, Steve,” he whispered.

Smiling, Steve kissed Eddie sweet and slow, then said, “Happy New Year, Eddie.”

Eddie returned the smile, but it grew into something cheeky when he got an awful idea. He saw the suspicion grow across Steve’s face. “I guess we, uh… really started the year off with a bang,” he said, and Steve’s head fell back onto his pillow with a pained groan.

When they both woke up, Steve eventually managed to coax Eddie out of bed so they could get breakfast started for everyone. It didn’t take much coaxing when he reminded Eddie that he planned to make french toast just for him. Dressed in Steve’s borrowed pyjamas, Eddie blearily trudged downstairs with him.

Their friends must have found their ways to the various guest rooms, because the living room and kitchen were empty. It looked like half of the mess from last night had been tidied, and Eddie shook his head with a smile when he imagined Nancy trying to clean before being convinced to go to bed.

Eddie took up his usual spot, seated on the counter—despite the soreness from last night—and mostly out of the way while Steve got everything together. He looked so soft in the light and his old, worn Hawkins High Basketball shirt, his hair ravaged by sleep. Sighing, Eddie propped his chin in his hand as he watched him move around the kitchen.

Steve caught him staring and put his hands on his hips. “What?”

“You’re just sooo handsome,” Eddie cooed, “I’d eat you for breakfast instead.” He snapped his teeth and Steve snorted and rolled his eyes as he closed the distance between them.

“Probably healthier to eat french toast,” he said. Hands on the counter at either side of Eddie’s knees, Steve looked up at Eddie. “And Robin would kill you for killing me.”

Clicking his tongue, Eddie tilted his head in agreement. “Yep. Probably. She’d have to enact some sort of best friend revenge clause if I murdered you and I don’t think I want to incur the Wrath of Buckley.”

“I don’t recommend it. She’s clumsy but if she does manage to land a hit she can kinda pack a punch.”

Eddie leaned in and wiggled his eyebrows, letting out a low, suggestive hum. “So do you,” he said, and even though Steve rolled his eyes again he also smiled. He barely had to tip his chin up to reach Eddie’s lips, and they traded a few kisses in the quiet morning sunlight. Eddie wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck, his hands inevitably finding their way into Steve’s hair.

They were both so distracted that they didn’t notice someone walk into the kitchen.

“Morning, brochachos,” Argyle said cheerily, and Steve and Eddie jumped away from each other, red faced and wide eyed. “Oh shit, sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt the love fest!”

“Wh-huh?” Eddie said eloquently.

“It’s—uh,” Steve followed up.

Robin peered around the doorway next. “You two done or are you gonna burn breakfast?”

“It’s not gonna burn, Robs,” Steve frowned, but then said, “wait. Why aren’t you freaking out?”

The flat look Robin gave him made Eddie snort, even if it was kind of about him, too. “You’re kidding, right? I had my suspicions, Steve, but last night confirmed everything. You couldn’t keep your eyes off each other all night, it was ridiculous. And then the whole, ‘can you help me grab something from inside’ thing was the most obvious excuse ever.”

“And you didn’t come back down after that,” Nancy said as she and Jonathan walked in. “Morning, Eddie.”

“Uh. Uh-huh. Good morning. So, hold on, none of you care?” Eddie asked.

“Like I said, kind of already knew. We were just waiting for you to tell us,” Robin said as she poured coffee into two mugs. “I gotta tell Vickie exactly how right I was, be right back. And the french toast is burning, Steve.” Steve swore and jogged over to the stove.

Jonathan pulled a mug out of the cupboard as he spoke next. “I think it’s great you guys are boyfriends. It’s a good fit, y’know?”

Eddie’s heart thumped and he looked at Steve, who turned around from trying to save the first batch of breakfast from incendiary doom. Steve’s cheeks were a little red, and he was smiling shyly. Shrugged a bit, like a question. Beaming at him, Eddie said, “Yeah. Boyfriends. I think it’s great too.”

Dividers by @/saradika and @/cafekitsune

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Wibta if I told my friend, upfront, I do not want his toxic partners in my campaign party without specifying why?

Everyone in this is 22+

So I (22NB) have been working on a campaign for at least 3 years now. I used dnd as a base and built off it to make my own world, races, mechanics, massive maps, religions, languages etc. This will be a massive campaign with highlights on religion and dealing with gods as a mortal etc and I've put so many hours into it it isn't even funny. I mean shit, I picked music for different areas depending on if it's day or night.

I made a discord server to house most of the basic info my players would need from table rules to the races and beyond. I mainly had the idea that the party would consist of my dmnpc guide (he doesn't fight or break the game, his only action during fighting is the help action and guide the party. Im not an asshole dm who makes my guide the protagonist. If its important, death doesn't really exist in my campaign due to demi-god race stuff, the party just gets sent back to its last save point with my grumpy man guide saying I told you so.), my partner's character (24f)(she dosent get preferential treatment. We've been together for 8 yrs) and my best bud's character (22tm. Been friends for 8 yrs). I never said I specifically only wanted my partner and friend to be party members but it was implied due to the fact I never invited my friends partners to the discord. I just don't really have many friends and this is the first time I've ever dm-ed period, let alone dming my own homebrew. We're all pretty novice newbie players and I think it'll be fun for us to stumble through the game together in a much less complicated form of DND without seasoned players "um actually-"ing us the whole time.

My partner is excited to try and my friend is ecstatic and about 2 years into development (last November) he asked if I could let his partners join the campaign. There're a few issues with this beyond me not really knowing them and not wanting to run a large party (it's hard for seasoned dms to run a 4+ party, let alone I, a fresh infant of a dm). My friend has 3 partners of his (he has 4 total) he wants to introduce to my campaign, this includes (fake names): Mel(24nb), Sandy (mid 20s f) and Rue (23 tw). I have issues with each individual present and it all stems from me sitting in on a different campaign for a single session. See, my friend has his own campaign (much smaller, follows one story in one town on an island instead of my entire continent) and he tried to run it by those three partners (and 2 friends. Names and genders unnecessary, they were our age) while I quietly sat in the session (it was over a discord call, were all in differnet states except for me and my partner) and watched it run just to see how my friend dmed and how the groups chemistry was. They had a 3 hour session.

It was the most socially awkward, intense and passive aggressive 3 hours of my life. Mel barely paid attention and as a result, had to have things explained to them when they weren't listening. They would then would talk over the person explaining things, pick apart their language and get irritated to the point of telling them (mostly rue) to shut up. Mel was quite litterally looking for a fight constantly. Sandy was relatively quiet but also not paying attention and talking over other players actions. She also would come up with random "icks " and one minute was telling everyone to keep all sexual jokes and comments to themselves because it made her uncomfortable then the next said her character was literally blowing a guy in the back of tavern.(btw this is not a fetish campaign or anything, it was out of left field for everyone and my friend shut it down because of that) Rue was the "uhm actually" type who pointed out inaccuracies, broken rules and lack of realism (it's a pirate fantasy magic campaign. There isn't much to focus on realism). Rue was clearly the most seasoned player but the nicest all things considered. She was mostly just condescending and treated my friend like he was stupid for not having every single detail mapped out. The party also had 2 of his friends but they were just as quiet as me and also either not paying attention or listening to the shit show. The session litterally ended with Sandy and Mel having the tiniest argument, mel pulling a crying running away anime protagonist "I'm sorry for being just a fucking terrible person! Ill leave so you all can have fun!!" Then hanging up all dramatically. Safe to say, their party was literally every red flag I was warned about by dm guide content.

My friend then came to me and said they broke up with Sandy that night but were still friends and I was still in shock from the sheer toxicity. Did I mention I had only met Sandy and the two other friends that night? And had only spoken over the phone to Mel once in a group call and met rue in person 2 times? Safe to say, I do not want litterally any of his partners in my party for various reasons and I feel as if just one of them at my table would make my patience end on sight. I consider myself to be very flexible and want to do my very best to be a fair but strong dm who doesn't get their story absolutely trampled by players intentionally trying to ruin my story and watch me scramble (mel and sandy openly did that). These players would disrespect my table rules for fun. Even my friend said they never respect him and his story as a DM and he won't run a game with them again and he thinks they'll respect my rule? As a baby dm? Nah fam.

He wants to bring rue and Mel into my campaign and I haven't answered him yet. I've mostly dodged the question with "I'm not sure how big of a party I feel comfortable dming for, I'll know later down the line." And he's asked again, still curious. I don't wanna judge my friends relationships because he and Mel have been together for 5 years and rue has been with him for 2 (they were together previously before rue came out and rue tried to control and physically abuse him. Thats another reason I don't want her in my campaign. Fuck abusers) but the toxicity they would bring would probably poison me. If I bring these things up, idk how my friend would react and he can be a bit... Extreme when he gets defensive. Cutting people off permanently at a moments notice then coming back crying or confused. He has BPD which explains it but I don't obviously wanna say " your partners are low-key toxic and abit abusive and I don't want them at my table or in my life for the most part and although I love you bro(/platonic) I do not want living blowfish at my table that you might not even speak to tomorrow.".

Obviously I wouldn't word it like that but mainly I just plan on saying "Ive never dmed before and I'm nervous about the functionality of my campaign so I want to keep my party nice, small and intimate and only between you, me and my partner for now. Maybe we can incorporate them later." Without mentioning all the... Other stuff and side stepping if he's like "but what if just mel/rue?". Me, my partner and him have been friends awhile so it's not like he'll feel like he's third wheeling or anything and I get he wants his partners to take in his interest, I just do not want them at my table and I wanna know if I'm a dick if I dont specify why and avoid the question. I dont wanna rock the boat and hurt my friends feelings but I'm not gonna ruin the first full run of my pet project so a passive aggressive asshole and a know it all almost abuser can participate. He deserves to know why his partners can't join and I'm not technically lieing, even if they were cool, I don't know if I'd want them there. But they definitely aren't cool and that just seals the coffin for me.

(obviously I'm wording this in a comedic way but everything here actually happened and I mostly just wanna focus on supporting my friend despite his choices. I do not have to like his partners to tolerate them but it's my table and my years of work, if i dont want them there, they dont get to be there. I'm just wondering if I'm a dick for kinda lieing kinda not if I don't give the actual reasons for why I don't want them at my table and never plan on allowing them there. I would happily accommodate 1 or 2 more people at my table in this case if they were close to me like my sister or older brother but I dont know his partners well at all and even though they are passive to me, I dont feel safe around people like that. Wibta?)

What are these acronyms?

[finkinthisfrew]

New Years Eve (Pt.1)

New Years Eve

Part 1 - Last Year

Sitting in the car with the radio playing, you listen to the soft folk music coming from the stereo alone, accompanied only by your slow deep breaths in and out, and the occasional heavy gust of wind that whipped the falling snow against your windshield. You sit with your eyes closed, absentmindedly flipping your phone over and over in your lap as you try to prepare yourself for the evening ahead. 

You’re parked outside of the restaurant, and the absolute last thing you want to do is go inside. The last time you checked the bookings for tonight, you wanted to find the nearest toilet and throw up, and knowing how busy the place normally gets, and considering it's New Years Eve, you know that it’s only going to be worse tonight. You wanted to take the night off to avoid the shit-storm that was inevitably about to happen and instead spend your first New Years Eve as a couple together with Matty on the couch watching old movies and cuddling while hiding away from the snowstorm. You definitely could have had the night off if you’d asked- you’d worked as a server and bartender at the restaurant for years now and the owners adored you. You could pretty much request whatever days off you wanted, but you were trying to save up money for an anniversary gift for Matty, and you were still short by quite a bit. 

The tips… focus on the tips…

You meditated to yourself over and over.

The last time you worked New Year's Eve at the restaurant, you walked home with more than a week's worth of tips in your purse. You also remembered breaking down and crying multiple times during that shift, so the tips weren’t exactly enough to distract you from the nightmare of tonight's shift. Not to mention, that was all before the big article listing it as the best restaurant in the city was published, making it more popular this year than it's ever been.

The feeling of your phone vibrating in your lap shakes you out of your trance and you quickly pick it up to read the text.

Matty❤️Baby: Good luck tonight petal- I love you❤️

Your stomach flips and you sigh with happiness at his words as you begin to reminisce about how you met...

You and Matty started dating almost a year ago- you’d met at a New Year's Eve party that you almost hadn’t attended. Your very rich entrepreneur socialite influencer friend, Mia, who you’d known since high school, was throwing a big, fancy invitation-only party at her penthouse downtown. The dress code was formal, and though you thought you looked quite nice in your outfit- a simple champagne-coloured silk dress- you couldn’t help but feel underdressed when you and your friend walked into a giant living room full of suits and borderline gowns.

“Oh god, this was a bad idea…” you said to Bri, clutching her arm anxiously as you scanned the room. 

“Don’t start with me,” she scolded you. "You promised we'd stay until midnight!" She reminded you, so you shut your mouth and let her pull you further into the massive apartment. You walked down the steps hand in hand and into the sunken living room the size of what felt like it could be an airplane hangar.

“This place is insane, I can’t believe you know someone this rich. Jesus Mary and Joseph, look at the size of that couch!" she said as she finally tore her eyes from the view, dragging you towards the centre of the room where an enormous couch the size of your entire apartment sat against the backdrop of a giant wall of windows that looked out on the city lights. You couldn't help but laugh as Bri bent over to feel the plushness of the rug with her hands. "We need to hang out with this girl more often,” she said in awe as she studied the luxurious apartment.

“Maybe we should go…” You began again, realizing how few people you recognized at the party.

“Oh, we can’t go-” she said a matter of factly, her tone catching you off guard. “That guy across the room has been eye-fucking you since we left the elevator.”

And she was right. He hadn’t take his eyes off of you though from the moment you entered the room. You looked over at him, but immediately looked away. You were instantly intimidated by him- he was too handsome in his suit- the most charming bowtie tied round his neck, his hair slicked back casually and a single silver hoop hanging from his ear, all accompanied by the most heart-wrenchingly beautiful tentative smile directed solely at you.

Luckily, right at that moment, Mia swooped in, thrilled you made it and immediately began gabbing your ear off about the attendees.

Much to your shaken heart’s detriment, the person she was most eager to gab about was none other than Mr. Eye-Fucker himself.

Mia gushed to you for a solid half-hour about how hot and talented he was- apparently he was in a pretty accomplished band. He was a rockstar too? As if you had a real shot with him... This stuff only happened in movies- it was too good to be true. Naturally, you spent the evening avoiding his frequent glances and convincing yourself he wasn’t looking at you. 

Several rounds of tequila shots later, Mia eagerly rounded everyone up for a game.

“Everyone, come, come! Sit down in a circle- yes, you too George, don't be such a baby!” She pointed accusingly at the tall handsome man sitting on the couch rolling his eyes. As you looked over at George, you could see, from the corner of your eye, his face pointed directly at you. His stare felt like fire on your skin, and you burned with curiosity.

Finally, you let yourself look. You regretted looking immediately- the bright red that adorned your face once you finally saw his warm brown eyes pouring into your soul was mortifying- though you found out only a few weeks later that your blushing face was what properly pushed him from being interested to completely falling for you.

Everyone sat down in a large circle under the guiding eye of Mia. Some people were focused on trying to look casual instead of incredibly awkward due to their restrictive formal attire keeping them from sitting comfortably, but almost everyone looked intrigued and curious about what was going to happen next. Mia disappeared, running into the kitchen before skipping giddily back into the room with a wide grin on her face, hiding something behind her back.

“So,” she began smugly, “As we all know, it’s New Years Eve, and you all received personal invitations to this party. What you don’t know…” she paused dramatically, “Is that everyone in this room… is single!”

The room fell silent.

This was so typical of Mia. There’s nothing that girl loved more than romance and gossip, and what better way to experience both than to invite a bunch of singles to snog at her house? You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself.

Everyone’s faces turned to look at you, and suddenly you realized you hadn’t laughed in your head- you had laughed out loud. But the only face you noticed was the one that hadn’t turned- because he had already been looking at you.

A couple people joined in with nervous laughter, and you were grateful for them, but he continued to watch you.

“I thought,” Mia continued, grabbing everyone's attention again, “That it might be fun to make sure that everyone has a midnight kiss. So, I propose,” she said as she pulled a bottle of Champagne out from behind her back, “that we play a game of spin the bottle to help us choose our partners!” Mia scanned the circle with excitement, but all she got in return was nervous silence. When her eyes met yours, begging you to join in on her enthusiasm, a voice across from you broke the silence.

“That sounds fun”

It was your turn to stare at him. He said it so earnestly, so softly, offering Mia a kind smile- one that you think you would have fainted from if you’d been on the receiving end. He was so unfathomably handsome.

“Exactly, Matty. Thank you!” Mia replied approvingly, sending him back an overly flirtatious smile, but he’d already looked away, reaching for a glass of wine he’d rested on the end table beside him.

Matty. What a cute name.

You thought to yourself.

As people began to tentatively voice their willingness to participate, you watched as Matty sipped his wine. Suddenly flickering up from the glass, his eyes caught yours. You could feel him take hold of your gut, yanking it towards him where he sat across from you, holding you close to him- tightly. It was visceral. 

“Alright,” Mia said loudly, shaking you from the tense exchange and causing you to look away. You could still feel his eyes on you as she spoke, “I’ve gone ahead and put everyone’s names in a hat- when I draw your name, spin the bottle. Whoever it lands on, introduce yourself, get to know each other, and they’ll be your kiss when the clock strikes midnight!”

You were terrified of the thought of being paired up with Matty, yet every time Mia pulled out a new name from the hat, you caught yourself hoping it would be his, and every time someone else spun the bottle, you found yourself praying it didn’t land on you.

As new couples paired up, one after the other eagerly slinking away to find a quiet corner to introduce themselves, the numbers around the circle dwindled. Suddenly there were only four of you left. Mia finally pulled her name from the hat, excitedly spinning the bottle and sneaking glances up at Matty as it spun. You held your breath and watched in slow motion as it slowed to a stop. It pointed at the boy sat next to Matty- a plainly handsome blonde with bright blue eyes. You watched Mia shrug to herself and smile as she skipped over to the boy (who looked a bit scared, to be quite honest), introducing herself boldly as they walked off.

You realized then as you watched the train of Mia’s long sparkling gown finally disappear around the corner that you were alone with him.

His energy filled the entire room, snapping around you with electricity. The silence screamed at you, magnifying the intensity of his gaze which you felt nuzzling against the cheek of your turned face. You couldn’t avoid the pull of his eyes any longer. You let yours travel over to him slowly, easing into his stare like wading into the shallow end of the pool. Of course, you fell right in any way, your heart immediately drowning in his warmth, his smile pulling you in like a warm hug.

“Hello, love,” he said warmly.

“Hi,” you managed to squeak out. You cursed yourself internally for sounding so timid and weak, but you were too overwhelmed to act any other way.

“I guess Mia didn’t account for the awkwardness when pairing up strangers with the expectation to kiss,” Matty said with a bashful chuckle as he scratched the back of his head.

“No, she definitely didn’t,”  you laughed as you rolled your eyes in agreeance. “She’s not one to really care, though. She’s always been fearless like that,” you continued thoughtfully.

“How do you know Mia?” Matty asked curiously, crossing his arms over his knee as he looked at you attentively from across the now invisible circle.

“Well we met back in - Oh fuck it, this distance is absurd…” You grumbled, gesturing to the good 20 or so feet between the two of you, causing Matty to laugh. You sighed as you stood up, and were happy to see Matty’s face of pleasant surprise when you came over to sit next to him. “We went to high school together. We’ve drifted in and out of friendship since then, but she always invites me to all her parties. She’s really great like that- getting me out of the house,” you explained as you sat down.

“So you’re a bit of a homebody then?” He probed further, leaning towards you subconsciously as he listened.

You chatted for a bit about your lives, and you learned from him he was in a band that toured often, but that he also was a homebody just like you.

“…but if it’s up to me, I prefer spending my free time at home… I’m always traveling, so any chance I get to be home, I take it. I actually wanted to stay home tonight originally but my friend George dragged me here instead- I can’t remember how he knows Mia. I think they met at some event? Or another party? He was telling me this yesterday but I was too busy trying to come up with an excuse not to come… Anyways… doesn’t matter…” he trailed off in a frown, seemingly catching himself in his rambling and scolding himself inwardly.

“Oh, I’m the same way! I’d much rather be at home than at this party,” you said in enthusiastic agreement. You watched in horror as his face fell, his smile faltering as your words stung him. You felt his heart break- its crack reverberating through yours as if it were your own. You quickly corrected yourself. “Or- I did. I did feel that way about tonight- until we started talking,” you stumbled through your words, correcting yourself desperately. “I’m having a nice time now... A really nice time,” you finished, cutting yourself off quickly before you could say anything else too cheesy. The only thing that scared you more than talking to him right now was the thought of the conversation ending. You didn’t have to worry though- Matty wasn’t going anywhere. He'd stay as you as long as you let him- he was entirely captivated by you. 

You were rewarded generously for your words, Matty’s face beaming at you with adoration. The arms you leaned back on nearly buckled as his smile took your breath away, his eyes crinkling sweetly at you.

“I’m having a nice time too. I’m really glad I came,” he said earnestly, glancing you up and down, making your skin tingle with flattery.

You sat in silence together smiling bashfully at each other for a bit. Somehow the silence wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable.

“Sorry you got stuck with me,” you finally mumbled, almost to yourself.

“What?” Matty asked with a frown.

“You didn’t even get to spin the bottle,” you explained. “You technically didn’t even choose me- that’s a bit gutting, don’t you think? That you kind of got stuck with me,” you finished with a shrug. Matty only shook his head, a small smile dancing on his lips.

“That’s not true at all. You could argue that being the only ones to not have our names drawn or the bottle landed on is an even better way of being chosen. We didn’t get a bottle- we got fate,” he offered sweetly with a charming grin. You swooned internally, but fought to keep your head screwed on right, unwilling to let yourself believe he was being anything other than kind. Especially not romantic. Being romantic would mean he was actually interested in you, and that couldn’t possibly be the case… could it?

“You don’t have to kiss me, by the way,” he said lightly, breaking the silence that had resurfaced after you didn’t respond to his comment about fate.

There we go. This makes much more sense. 

You thought to yourself confidently, realizing he didn’t want to kiss you. The pang of sadness that hit you was excruciating, and you couldn’t fathom coming up with a reasonable response, so you instead stared at the carpet under his feet.

“Just to be clear,” he began slowly, speaking evenly, treading lightly around your shattered heart, “I’d love to kiss you. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to because of a game,” he clarified.

And suddenly, your heart was whole again. In fact, it felt even better than before. Actually, better than it ever had. You didn’t know what to say. You were too shocked by… everything. By his kindness, by how gentlemanly he was, by how sweet he was, by how handsome he looked, but above all, by those five words.

I’d love to kiss you.

You would’ve kissed him then and there- if you had any balls whatsoever. But you didn’t, so instead you sat there looking dumbstruck as you frantically tried to come up with a response that wouldn’t give away the complete meltdown you were suffering from internally.

“Same goes for you…” you manage to say. It took everything in you to keep yourself from smacking your hand to your forehead in embarrassment as Matty cocked an eyebrow up at you in intrigued confusion.

He opened his mouth to say something, then stopped himself when multiple voices entered the room.

The evening continued as the various partners reentered the living room, once again mingling with each other, some even starting a dance floor as the music was slowly turned up throughout the night. But you and Matty stayed there at the foot of the couch chatting. You chatted effortlessly for hours, yet it felt like no time passed. The more you spoke, the more natural it felt- though the knot of desire inside your chest never lessened. It only grew as you got to know him, his kind and giving nature so clear as he asked you thoughtful questions, answering your own questions just as thoughtfully. He was funny, charming, interesting, and incredibly sweet. You never wanted it to end.

You were in the midst of listening to Matty explain the new song he’d been writing when Bri shocked you back into the real world.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you, you slag!” she said drunkenly, crashing you back to reality as she took both of your hands and pulled you up. You looked back at Matty apologetically, but he only smiled and offered a little understanding wave goodbye as Bri dragged you off to tell you all about her new midnight kiss partner, Robbie.

As you lit your second cigarette, Bri finally came up for air from her story about Robbie, stubbing out her own cigarette butt on the terrace of the giant patio that overlooked the city lights. It was just the two of you out there, the faint thud of the bass drifting over to the loveseat you’d snuggled up on.

“So,” your best friend began as she plucked your lighter from your hand, lighting up her own second cigarette of the evening before throwing her arm back around your shoulders. “You got paired up with that musician guy who was looking at you. What was his name again?”

“Matty,” you said softly, your eyes glazing over as you remembered his face. Well, that was a lie. You didn’t need to remember his face because it had been etched into your heart from the moment he’d spoken to you. It was all you could think about while Bri had been telling you about her new boy.

“Yeah, Matty, thanks,” Bri said as she took another puff from her cigarette. “Sooo,” she nudged you playfully, “what do you think of him?” 

“He’s really nice. He asked a lot of thoughtful questions. He seems like a nice person…” you said, a little too swept away in it all to expand just yet.

“Aaaaaand…?”  Bri prodded, wiggling her eyebrows at you knowingly. You knew she wouldn’t stop until you told her what she wanted to hear.

“Well, he’s quite handsome…” you admitted.

“Well that’s very kind of you to say,” you heard him say behind you.

You froze, locking your eyes on a skyscraper ahead of you as Bri whipped her head round to see who had spoken, but you already knew. You didn’t need to look. 

“Hi there, I’m Matty,” he offered his hand kindly, stepping closer to where you sat. You couldn’t look at him- you were too mortified.

“I’m Brianna,” Bri responded, trying to stifle her laugh as she shook his hand. She failed pretty miserably. You shoved her, momentarily satisfied by her yelp of protest, but were soon dissatisfied when Matty caught your eye. He was too far from you. You knew then that any distance between you two, no matter how small, would leave you wholly dissatisfied- forever.

“There’s only a few minutes left until midnight- Mia’s been gathering everyone in the living room for the big moment…” he said bashfully, gesturing behind him at the party with his thumb, then ran his fingers through his hair. You remembered how he did it earlier and how the flip-flop in your stomach was only stronger the second time. Pitiful, how obsessed you were with this stranger you barely knew.

“A few minutes?!” Bri exclaimed, hopping up in shock. “I need to go find Robbie!”

You both watched as Bri trotted off the patio and back into the depths of the party to find Robbie.

Once again you were enveloped in silence, the presence of Matty turning the air around you electric.

“Can I join you?” Matty asked, pointing at the now empty seat beside you, “-unless you’d rather go back to the party?”

“No, no,” you said, shuffling yourself to the side to make room for him where you’d sat up against Bri previously. “Sit,” you offered.

Matty sat down next to you, your legs almost touching, and you could tell by the look on his face he was mulling something over.

“I’m sorry for interrupting you and Brianna,” he said, his eyes sincere with apology.

“Oh, it’s totally fine,” you said as you offered him your cigarette. He accepted it gladly, and you tried not to let his hollowing cheeks and furrowing brow distract you too much as you spoke, “Bri would have killed me if she missed this midnight kiss thing. She seems a bit obsessed with her partner.”

“And you?” Matty asked suddenly, his lips parting softly, their pinkness framed gloriously by the smoke that trailed out of his perfect mouth. You froze, hoping dearly that it was dark enough for your now blushing cheeks to go unnoticed. 

“I’m… happy,” you managed to say, internally relieved you didn’t say what you actually wanted to say which was that obsessed wasn’t a strong enough word for the infatuation you felt towards him from the moment you met.

“Happy? Oof, well I’m definitely convinced now…” he said teasingly with a chuckle as he handed you back the cigarette.

“No, no! I’m very happy, genuinely! I’m sorry, I can be so thick sometimes…” you said as you shook your head, taking another drag of your cigarette.

“It’s okay, I’m happy too,” he said with a breathtaking smile, leaning closer to you. You were surprised you had anything in your lungs to exhale. “I’m… I came out here to confess something to you actually,” he said timidly.

“And what was that?” You gulped, offering him the cigarette again. He reached to take it from you, but as he took the cigarette with one hand, his other cupped yours, his fingers closing around your palm.

“I was hoping it would land on you,” he said, his eyes looking down at your hands. “The bottle, I mean. I wanted it to be you,” he said as his eyes finally flicked up to meet yours.

Your head spun, but you knew it wasn’t a head rush. It was love. And how stupid could you be, thinking that what you felt with this handsome rockstar who'd spent the entire evening being devoured by everyone's hungry eyes, who couldn't possibly be as besotted as you, was love?

But, to hell with it. It was New Year's Eve and you hadn’t kissed anyone in ages and this boy was here by choice, saying kind things to you. Who were you to say no to a little holiday romance, even if it meant you were certain to be left with a broken heart.

You leaned into him, just slightly, but that was all he needed. He smiled as he put his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest.

“15… 14…” you heard people chanting from the living room, the numbers growing in volume as midnight came closer and closer.

“Matty,” you said quietly. His eyes turned to meet yours as he nodded, squeezing your hand with attentiveness.

“I’m glad we got stuck with each other,” you whispered, leaning deeper into him.

He utterly beamed at your words, slowly lowering his face towards yours.

“I’m glad we didn’t get chosen,” he said, his breath lapping delicately at your lips, less than an inch away now as they hovered close to your skin. His lips brushed against yours, and he whispered, “I much prefer fate.”

“Happy New Year!” Everyone yelled in chorus as midnight struck, but neither of you heard them. You’d been swept away to another dimension, the moon, sun and stars all swirling around you as you kissed, your lips like long-lost lovers from a past life, pressing confession after confession into each other. Your arms wrapped around one another, the feeling of relief sweeping through your body. 

Finally. 

You could feel your body sigh. It felt like you were meant to do this all along. And somehow, weeks before Matty would confirm this himself, you could tell that he felt the same way as you.

Now, almost exactly one year later, you sat in Matty’s car you'd driven over alone to your works parking lot, reminiscing about last year as you were about to walk into what was bound to be a nightmare.

The tips… The tips…

You remind yourself as you ask yourself for the billionth time why oh why you’re opting to miss your first New Years Eve together with Matty as a couple.

You inhale deeply, then exhale, watching your breath dissipate in the cold air as you grab your bag and walk out into the snow covered parking lot.

This better be worth it…

You grumble to yourself internally. 

[leafoflemon]

Practice Run - Part 2, Chapter 6

This is the last chapter of part 2, but do not fear! The third and final part will release soon, complete with 4 chapters.

[P1, Chp. 1], [P1, Chp. 2], [P1, Chp. 3], [P2, Chp. 4], [P2, Chp. 5], [P3, Chp. 7], [P3, Chp. 8], [P3, Chp. 9], [P3, Chp. 10]

Warning: this post contains NSFW content. 18+, MDNI

Special thanks to @uhnanix and dedicated to the Server of Villains!

Summary: "You had been a part of the league for almost a year now, yet Jin Bubaigawara, also known as Twice, had no idea how to tell you how he felt."

Twice x reader | Twice x fem!reader | Some fluff, angst, AND nsfw | Mental health issues | Semi-public sex | Bodily fluids | Virgin reader | Confession | Jin Bubaigawara

Word Count: ~2.2k

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Unfortunately for you, Jin was already in the process of breaking down.

He rushed into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. He wobbled over, stood against a wall, then slid to the floor.

“What are you doing? Everything has been great, go back out there and hang out with your friends!”

“I can’t, I’m splitting apart!”

“Hey, you’ve been through worse!”

“But you don’t understand-- Y/N is out there! I gotta keep it together so she doesn’t have to worry about me!”

“She always worries about you, she loves you!”

“Yeah, but as a friend. I want to be more than friends, but I can’t do that if I scare her away!”

He grabbed at his head, wishing that the other Jins in his head would go away so that he could finally have some peace and quiet. 

“You always do this. You get in the way. I can’t think clearly, I can’t talk clearly! I don’t even know what I’m trying to get across, sometimes! You think a girl wants to be with a guy like that?”

“Hm, you’re right. Y/N deserves better than us.”

“Shut up! Just leave me alone…please…” 

Jin pressed his face against his knees. 

“I wish…I wish she was here.”

“Then go out and talk to her.”

“No way, not like this!”

“Then make another clone.”

“Haven’t you done enough of that already, creep?”

“How else is he supposed to do this?”

“Why can’t you be quiet and let me think?!” He yelled. 

Then there was a knock at the door that made Jin nearly jump out of his skin. “E-excuse me, sir, are you alright in there?” some stranger asked.

“Yeah, I’m good-- mind your own damn business!” 

When footsteps on the other side of the door scurried away, Jin untensed slightly. “You know what you gotta do, man,” he told himself. He gave up and pushed aside his guilt; he just wanted to feel some sense of comfort. Again, he reached out, and the mud-like substance flowed from his palms. In seconds, your copy sat by his side.

He didn’t even have to say anything. One look at him, miserable and sitting on the floor of a diner bathroom, was enough to tell her everything. 

“Y/N…” he sniffled and said in a weak voice.

“Shh…it’s okay. You’re safe here…you can let it all out. I’m here for you,” your clone said gently. 

And with that, the dams broke. He threw his arms around her and quietly sobbed into her shoulder. She held him in her arms, and much like the previous night, she gently rocked Jin until, gradually, he calmed down. “I’m sorry, I…I--”

“Shh, it’s okay. You don’t have to force yourself to be strong. It’s okay to give yourself a break every now and then. You deserve some time to unwind and let go of whatever is getting you down.”

Jin sniffed and pulled away to rub his teary eyes. Your clone softly held her hand to his face and wiped away a tear with her thumb, which left the man completely stunned. He looked at her in surprise, but she looked at him with nothing but love in her expression.

“Y/N…”

“Yeah?”

Jin slowly inhaled and exhaled. “You’re so kind to me-- and you’re hot!” In a burst of emotion and impulse, he took a hold of her hands and finally let it all out; straightforward and honest. “I-I really like you-- I love you so much-- and I’ve been really wanting to tell you for a long time now--” he spilled out until the clone put a finger to his mouth to quiet him.

Oh God, did I do it wrong, does she hate me?! He started to panic.

Her face was burning red, but she leaned forward and took the jump. “Save it for the real me,” she whispered to him, then pressed her lips against his. 

Sparks flew and fireworks went off in Jin’s mind. He could barely comprehend what was happening right now, even the voices were stunned. A solid second had passed when your clone pulled away from his mouth and gave him that same warm smile that you always gave him. 

Adrenaline shot through his body; it wasn’t butterflies in his stomach anymore, it was wasps all across his system. He didn’t have time to think before his body decided to move on its own, and Jin and the clone locked lips. They held onto each other so tightly, there wasn’t any room to breathe between them; the only time there was space was when they pulled back for a brief moment to gasp for air before pushing their faces back together. She ran her fingers through his hair, and he ran his hands down her back. He stopped at her belt, but he wanted to keep on going. “Y/N…I gotta go back to the others,” he said breathlessly.

“Then you better make this quick,” she whispered back, then kissed his neck. This sent Jin into overdrive.

He suddenly felt a pulse, a throbbing in his pants, then became hard as a rock. “F-fuck!” Things were getting out of hand, he didn’t mean to take it this far! But the two of them were so riled up, there was no going back from this. He knew his friends were waiting on him, so he decided to listen to your clone. 

I gotta make this quick, and I gotta make it count!

Jin’s muscles flexed through his shirt as he picked up your duplicate off of the floor. She squealed and wrapped her legs around his torso while he carried her and sat on the toilet. Now she was sitting on his lap and desperately tried to unbuckle her belt while he did the same. He unzipped his fly and let his pants down a bit to show his boxers, and the hard outline of his dick showing through. Your clone gasped in excitement and stood for a moment to drop her pants and underwear to the floor, then returned to his lap. She grinded against his bulge and tried her best to keep quiet; even though they were locked in a room, they were still technically in public. Before either of them could slip up and make a sound, he pulled her close and made out with her while she still grinded against him. 

Your copy’s hands traveled down Jin’s body, and she lifted herself up to give room to pull his cock out from his underwear. She was nervous, terrified, in fact! You were a virgin; your body had never felt anyone like this before. His member was large and pulsing in her hands, she wasn’t 100% sure if it would even fit in all the way. She stroked it while trying to work up the courage to finally slip it in. 

Jin tried with every fiber of his being to stifle his moans, especially while his cock was being massaged. “Augh…Y/N…” he mumbled. “We gotta…we gotta hurry.”

She nodded and took a deep breath. Okay okay. 1…2…3…

She finally, carefully, lowered herself onto him, and it took her breath away. To keep each other from yelling out, Jin kissed her again and stuck his tongue into her mouth. He figured that if he was already inside her down below, what difference would his tongue make?

He couldn’t believe how tight she felt, how her walls gripped his rod like an industrial clamp. He was also unsure if he could make it all the way into her. The whole thing sent his head spinning, he wasn’t sure if this was real or a beautiful dream anymore; it all felt too good to be true! Jin knew he was in love with you, but he hadn’t realized to this level how badly he wanted to take you. This was already getting him hot and sending him to the plateau. “Ah…hah…Y/N,” he moaned softly into her ear. 

She was sweating, shaking, and gently pushing herself further down his dick. Then, excitement took over and he began thrusting his hips into hers. She nearly screamed out until Jin kissed her again; her voice muffled and she held onto him tightly. It hurt, but it hurt so good, she didn’t want him to stop. “Yes…yes!” she’d whisper between breaths. 

He gripped her bottom with both hands and lifted her up and down with his arms to speed things up. Her vagina felt more and more wet as he kept going and he worried that she would leak out onto his boxers, but the ecstasy was so fixating, he couldn’t stop. “Ah--ah…augh…Y/N-- ah…I love…ah fuck…I love you…” Jin tried to speak. Your clone wanted to say the same, but she was too busy trying to keep quiet and was focused on his dick thrusting in and out of her. All she could do was mutter unintelligible noises in reply while fighting back (happy) tears. 

Her ridged, contracted walls kept his hot shaft in a vice grip, and Jin was unsure how long he would last. He wanted to go all night like this, but he reminded himself he needed to be quick. He tried thrusting harder and lifting your clone up and down faster, and it was getting more difficult to keep the noises down. They both prayed that no one was nearby enough to hear them through the door. She panted and moaned against his mouth, and when she found brief moments of comprehension, she begged him to slow down and ease up; the head of his penis was starting to ram against her cervix and she wasn’t used to the pain. “P-p-please-please-ah-ah, take-ah-take it easy-ah-ah-ah-ha--”

“I’m-I’m almost there,” Jin promised. “Almost, almost…ah-ah-ah-aH-AH.” He was bouncing her off his throbbing cock rapidly until he thought he was going to lose his mind. He was nearing orgasm and he pulled your clone back by her hair to look into her eyes. He wanted to see what kind of face you’d make when he unloaded into her. “Fuck-fuck-fuck,” he repeated breathlessly to the rhythm of his thrusts. “Y/N--Y/N-- fuck me, OH fuck yes-- AUGH--!” His hands gripped her ass tighter than they ever did before, and she flung herself forward and screamed into his shoulder, muffling the sound and preventing it from being heard outside. Jin violently shook as he came deeply inside of her, and his cock jerked aggressively.

He was mildly disappointed that he couldn’t see your face, but the ecstasy overpowered everything. They both panted for air, and Jin looked down to watch all sorts of fluids leak out from your clone; sweat, blood, and both of their cum mixed together. “Ah shit…” his boxers were a mess, there was no way he could fix that.

You just had the best sex of your life, and you’re worried about your underwear?

Jin was still riding the high of his orgasm, he didn’t even care about his other personalities intruding his thoughts again. “You were…you were amazing…” he smiled wildly.

“Not as amazing as you~” your clone replied while still shaking and wiping tears away. “Make sure…you tell the real me that.”

After a while of basking in the post-nut bliss, a question ran across his mind. “Do…do you really love me? Or, well, the real you?” he asked, bewildered.

She pulled herself up and raised an eyebrow. “We literally just had sex in a public restroom. You know I’d never do that with anyone else.” She made a fair point.

“How long have you felt this way?”

She wasn’t exactly sure, she was disoriented from all the excitement. “I don’t know. For the past few months, I think?” It seemed around the same length of time as when Jin started to fall in love with you.

Your clone looked at Jin longingly and brushed his hair with her hands. “I think it’s time you go back out there and see everyone again,” she sighed.

“Y-yeah-- but I want to hold onto you forever,” he said.

“Then you can go and hold onto the real me. I promise you…she loves you as much as you love her. You have to tell her.”

He sighed and nodded. With the energy he had left, he proceeded to lift your clone off of his soaking wet dick, the friction of which both caused them spasm. She nearly slipped from his sweaty arms, but he caught her just in time and set her on her feet. She couldn't help but look at him in awe. “Promise me you’ll never let the real me down?”

Jin caressed her face before letting her go. “I would do anything for you. I promise.”

She held his head in her hands and gave him one last kiss before parting. “I’m glad I got to help you practice…I really hope I made a difference. This was by far the most incredible experience I’ve ever had… I hope you show the original Y/N a good time as you’ve shown me.” Jin wanted to say more to her, but she already backed up and waved a final goodbye before melting away on her own.

At last, he was left standing alone in the bathroom, feeling a mixed up whirlwind of joy, relief, exhaustion, and loss. And the realization that his crotch was still totally drenched. “SHIT!”

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I was originally planning to wrap everything up in part 2, but there was still so much content that I decided to make a part 3 so that it wouldn’t be overwhelming. This is already longer than I expected. Part 3 will mostly be a conclusion, but don’t worry, there will still be nsfw content for you guys!

Thank you for reading and supporting me! Until next time!

[saleemb]

That's it, we just lost 5 years of SSO archive, bot development and contests we all took hours to do because of the greediness of a french youtuber. Her name is Unicornis, or Laura, is a very famous french Star Stable youtuber, and she deleted her server after considering it 'inactive'. Yesterday, she posted that story ; (translation in ALT)

AND EVERYTHING IS FAKEEEE !!! She lied to everyone around her to delete a server she doesn't even take care of. -> No auto destruction script was launched/updated. (i know the dev personally, he couldn't do something like on something he took YEARS working on) She deleted it HERSELF, no script involved. (And since she was the owner, only her could delete it.)

-> She banned the admin (dev of the bot). He was supposedly 'disrespectful' along with a mod, also banned (they were just mad that no one notified them about the decision.) She gave them a one hour notice before announcing that the server would close down (it was supposed to close friday, tomorrow at the time i write that post, but got shut down tuesday) I do have the ss of the staff channel, I won't share them for now. Solutions were proposed, but she turned all of them down, the admin kindly asked to keep the server for archive (we're talking of 5 YEARS of messages, contests and drawings) which she also turned down. (She was never in the server, pretty sure she couldn't understand we posted every single damn day in that server) -> Mods and admin carried the whole server. She simply was never there, and she gets surprised that her OWN server get inactive !! In conclusion; She threw our whole work away. I drew assets and emojis, Lucas developed the bot (which was a good damn one, XP system, video notification, games, moderation etc !!), the mods who took time to help around. We also took time to find ideas, contests, new channels to keep up with the new members, and make the server active. I personally left last year, and came back for the last day, posted quite a salty message (like, damn, throwing years worth of work just like that) This is probably my goodbye message for that era. I just won't support that creator anymore, since she didn't see our hard work. She doesn't deserve a community that want to create and chat around, when you can't even aknowledge your own supporters, the ones who help run the community. Thanks for all the friends I made along the way during 2019-2023. This server saw me grow, my art, me as a person. It feels like a punishement for all of us, everything must come to an end, but it was not meant to be today. We had years, even a decade. Why did you lie to your community about ending your own Discord Server ? In a few hours, days, you ruined/deleted a small part of us. And you know damn well that no admin or mods, or members could call you out on your behavior and how you handled everything. We don't have the visiblity for that, and it makes you damn happy. thanks for reading, Salim.

[freakblrbookkeeperofficial]

Blog Name: Tmf Confessions Blog

Username: @tmf-confessions

Aliases: Freakblrs Beloved Canon Event

Type of Blog: Confessions Blog/Gimmick Blog

Date created: July/August of 2023

Reason Created: To give people a space to share their opinions of the show and the fandom

Last Active: 5/4/2024; still currently active

Identity: @strawberry-pretzels

--------------------------------------

The Tmf-Confessions blog is one of the more iconic blogs on Freakblr. It has been used by almost everyone at least once and has remained very neutral in any instances of infighting on Freakblr.

It is, after all, a convenient way to politely air grievances and spread opinions. It is the first place many people in this fandom think to go to with their hot, cold, and luke-warm takes.

Over it's lengthy existence, people submitting confessions have sparked many inter-fandom controversies. Nothing so severe though, that it is worth making note. Most fighting was shut down through calm conversation and back-and-forth's on the confessions blog.

When asked about enemies, the confession blog simply responded, "i don't think this blog has any enemies cause it's a welcoming space for everyone frl."

A huge running joke of the confession blog is the idea of, "Rat's Laying Eggs." This begun when the Confession blog came back from a semi-long hiatus. They posted the following: "yall i died my bad. sorry guys my rat gave birth and laid two or three eggs."

This post sparked outrage amongst many of the confession blog followers. Freakblr Original user @creelby reblogged saying, "IM???????" Another Freakblr Original user, @cringelordofchaos similarly stated, "YOU'RE???????" Finally, Freakblr Original user @rextile sums up everyone's thoughts on the situation. Asking the important question of, "rats lay eggs????"

This one post led to several asks wondering about the state of the confession blog's rats. Led to multiple google searches about whether or not rat's can actually lay eggs. In the end it was determined that no. No they cannot. And the confession blog had been eating eggs from what they thought was a rat for months.

Eventually Freakblr Original user @sobeksewerrat posted this on their other alternate account, @andrew-the-drew-defender: "rat eggs should become a new inside joke on freakblr. We should make it a password or a secret code of sorts so we know who to gatekeep"

While many agreed and liked this idea, it never actually became a secret code. It did however remain an inside joke and led to the creation of the Freakblr discord server.

The confession blog's main account is @strawberry-pretzels. A Freakblr Original user. They post a wide variety of content there, including Music Freaks content.

When asked about blogs of note, they mentioned The Original Freakblr Seven, as well as any other blogs who'd submitted asks. Continuing their pattern of being a safe space for all on Freakblr.

The Tmf Confessions blog continues to post and be active, a bright spot in the lives of many Freakblr users. It inspires discourse and thoughtful discussion of the show. It keeps us entertained in the wait for new content. A pioneer of Freakblr, in my opinion.

And, when asked to sum up their time on Freakblr, this is what they had to say:

"Freakblr is many things. It's a group of 20 people joking around and telling stories. It's a space for so much interesting lore and fandom icebergs. It's a place where creativity and roleplay runs rampant. But above all, it is an amazing home with many memories, that I hope will be remembered even years later."

[loving-jack-kelly]

since i have officially been enable (hehe thanks @thefactsofthematter and @daveysjackie)

i think. jack and davey have been friends since the day they met. it was the kind of instant connection that only being in the same class as young kids can generate, the solidarity of having names close enough together in the alphabet that you end up sitting next to each other in every class on the first day of school, and the very fast realization that jack's sense of humor was perfectly matched to davey's ability to convince a teacher he'd done nothing wrong. they're friends all through middle school and high school, even when jack is the popular baseball player class clown and davey is the kid who sits in the front row and answers every question. people outside their immediate friend group kind of wonder why they're so close, but jack and davey and their immediate friends get it.

davey is good at keeping his rebellious streak hidden, and jack is good at acting unbothered, but davey has always been itching to get into trouble and shake that "pleasure to have in class" vibe he's had since he was five and jack cares so much about everything that it's hard not to shut down. so they balance, just like they always have. jack supplies davey with the cigarettes and weed most people would never guess he smokes, and davey gives jack the space to drop the facade and let himself care so much it hurts.

they're the kind of friends that are so intertwined it's hard to imagine one without the other. davey gets out of ap english and jack is already at the classroom door handing him a pack of fruit snacks and laughing at something that happened in the forty minutes since they last saw each other. jack stays late to finish an art project and davey is sitting at the table across from him doing calc homework and making sure jack doesn't get so wrapped up in his work that he doesn't eat.

and then davey goes away to college. and he hates it. he should have known he would hate it because he's hated school and the pressure it put on him since he was old enough to feel the expectations from his teachers. it's not even that college is hard. he earned his spot here, he's smart, he's capable, he even got a really good scholarship. but he hates it. he hates his classes, he hates his major, he changes his major and hates that one too, he misses his family and he misses jack, who facetimes him from the kitchen of the diner he's worked at since he was sixteen excited to announce he's finally starting to work in the kitchen instead of as a server-slash-host.

he first floats the idea of dropping out to jack when they're on facetime at 3am while davey frantically writes an essay that was due at midnight that he forgot about because he just doesn't care anymore. his grades aren't great because he doesn't want to be here, he's miserable, he's only made like two friends, and he hates it here.

he expects jack to react the way he knows his family would, his advisor would, everyone else in his life seems like they would. no, davey, don't drop out, you worked so hard to get here, that would be a waste, you're so smart, don't you want to do something with yourself?

but jack doesn't even look up from his sketchbook when he asks, would that make you happy again?

and yes, it would, davey realizes the more he thinks about it. he would rather go home and work a shitty job for a while than stay here and stay miserable. he would be happier to be home with the people he knows and loves.

so davey drops out. he barely tells his parents he's doing it, but he never registers for classes for his second year and he officially withdraws from the university in july when he's sitting on a fire escape with jack like they used to when they were kids and jack celebrates out loud that he's making his own choices.

so jack gets davey a job in the same diner he works at. they work together and hang out together and are friends like they always have been, but there's something else now because davey, as miserable as he was away at college, has this weird little itch to get out and do something exciting. he starts talking about wanting to get out and see the world, and jack, who has always talked about getting out of the city to see what else is out there, is all for it.

it's impulsive and stupid, even more so than dropping out of college, but they decide to just...go for it. they save up together to buy a van and a few months' worth of spending money and then, when the paperwork is signed and it's too late to stop them, they just leave.

esther and mayer are disappointed maybe. worried, definitely. what happened to their middle child who never got in trouble and got straight As and was quiet and well-behaved his whole life? where did this, this impulsivity and recklessness and sideways ambition, where did it come from? and sarah is less surprised, davey has always confided in her, but didn't expect him to actually go through with it. and les thinks it's very cool that davey is running away as an adult, but sad and a little confused that he barely took the time to say goodbye.

but davey...davey loves it. he and jack leave the city and decide on the spot that they're not using maps, they're headed west and they don't care where they end up. the van used to belong to a plumber, there's no backseat, so they mostly park at truck stops or Walmart parking lots to spend the night. they both have a little money saved up, and jack has been doing commissions online for long enough that he's still got a little income coming in, and they don't know how long this can possibly last but it's fun. it's freedom. they drive until they're sick of driving and then they stop to see what they can get up to until they want to drive some more. they put a mattress in the back of the van and collect pillows and blankets and slowly, strangely, it starts to feel like home.

jack finds an old video camera at one of the thrift stores they stop at and starts recording videos. davey starts pulling them off the camera and putting them on his laptop so he can send updates to his family that show how good this is for both of them. they stop at weird landmarks and tourist attractions, jack fills sketchbook after sketchbook with drawings of the weird places they find, davey starts keeping a journal full of the things that make him laugh and fun facts he's learning.

the van breaks down four months in. they're somewhere in the middle of nowhere, colorado, and jack cracks some joke about it being a miracle they made it this long, and thank god they're actually in a town and not on a highway fifty miles from anywhere. the local mechanic is nice enough to tow it to his shop free of charge, and jack and davey settle in to spend a few days in this tiny town without much to do. they end up sitting in a coffee shop while davey edits together another highlight reel of the last week to send home. jack says he should put it on youtube and see what happens, and davey laughs the idea off but the next morning he's still kind of thinking about it because. why not? maybe nobody will ever watch and it'll just be an easier way to share the videos with his family, or maybe people will watch it and it'll go viral and they'll be famous and making money from it. neither extreme seems that bad, really. so that day, still waiting for the van to be fixed, davey starts editing all of the videos they have so far into one big video. he adds jack's art in there, drawings of the world's biggest ball of string and the world's largest beetle and all the other places they've visited, and he posts it.

and after that, once they get the van back and they're driving north, determined to make it to where Canada meets washington on the coast because it just sounds cool. jack gets it on video when they stop at a campground for the night and davey falls face-first into a river. davey it it on camera when jack has to play tug of war for his phone charger with a crow at a rest stop. they make it up to cape flattery and there's videos of them goofing off on the hike and videos of the view.

davey edits it all together and posts it on youtube. he sends the link to his parents and forgets about it. and that's how it goes for the next month and a half. every week, a forty-minute long vlog of highlights from that week's adventures goes up. every week, they name a random new thing they want to do and start driving in the general direction they think it'll be in. they blow a tire on a windy mountain backroad and the camera, set on the ground, records both of them bickering over the best way to change a tire. they leave the camera, crooked and sliding around, on the dashboard and record the two-man performance of queen's entire discography.

six months into their roadtrip which is starting to feel more like a lifestyle, and two months after davey started uploading videos to youtube, he checks his junk email and sees that he apparently has a comment on one of the videos. he hasn't been paying much attention to what was going on with the old ones once they were up, so he's beyond surprised to see a few thousand views a video, a couple hundred comments on the ones with particularly funny moments. a few hundred subscribers.

jack thinks it's hilarious. davey is not so sure. he keeps uploading though, especially when jack points out that if they get enough subscribers they can monetize it and have some more money. so they keep doing it.

they hit national parks. the spend the winter down south, and davey gets hours of footage of jack wide-eyed and wonderous in santa fe, a city he's wanted to visit for years.

he gets a comment that says something like "I can see them falling in love in real time" and it takes a few days to be able to film the way he has been because now he's self-conscious about how much he records jack just existing. he knows he's had a lingering crush on jack since they were twelve but he doesn't need a random stranger on the internet calling him out on it. he also knows jack is straight. so.

it doesn't take long for the channel to have enough subscribers to monetize it, and it doesn't take long for them to appreciate making a handful of extra cash every month. it's not a lot of money, especially at first, but fifty bucks is a good couple meals with how they've learned to shop, or a full tank of gas. it means they have more time, now that they're starting to run out of savings. and the longer it goes on, the more they're making. they break 10k subscribers on a video that heavily features clips of them rolling down a random hill they found and decided to have fun on and jack rescuing a cat from a dumpster that they brought to a local shelter. davey stops paying attention to the numbers because he and jack both agree if they start doing it for youtube instead of themselves, it'll stop being so much fun.

they got to new orleans for mardi gras, a bucket list item that davey thought of a few months ago when they were stargazing and thinking of more things to do. it's been almost a year since they left new york, and it seems like their list is only growing. they get covered in beads and get a hotel room so they can get as drunk as they want, jack wears the camera around his neck so it doesn't get lost, and it's there that davey has the crashing, terrifying realization that it's a lot more than a little crush.

jack is bright and energetic and even in this crowd full of people dancing and laughing and singing and shouting, jack stands out. davey steals the camera away from him and gets video after video of jack just being jack, being bright and fun and taking davey by the hand and pulling him along to the next thing. jack takes it back and records davey laughing while he tries to dance along to a song he doesn't know. it's wild and crazy and fun.

they got a hotel room with only one bed because they didn't even think about it. they've been sharing the back of the van for a year, but maybe because it's a real bed or maybe because suddenly davey is aware of how much he's actually in love with jack for the first time, but it's different. and they wake up collapsed together, wrapped around each other, and davey has a moment of being so, so grateful for what this year has been.

there's a comment under that video that davey has a hard time ignoring because it says "you just know they kissed when the camera was off lol" and he can't stop thinking about what if. what if they had? what if they did? what then?

when davey is editing the next video he can't help but notice that there are just as many random shots of him doing nothing as there are of jack. like jack is also finding himself recording davey at random moments when nothing is happening. it's hard not to get his hopes up. and the best part of this whole thing has always been the small moments, the quiet and calm conversations at night with rain falling on the roof of the van, being stuck in traffic laughing at each other trying to learn lyrics to a new song, eating at a greasy truck stop diner and trying to figure out what tastes so weird in these pancakes. it's the little things, the inside jokes they've had since middle school spread throughout the brand new adventures every day, the way jack still snorts when he laughs and still teases davey for how he can't help but mess up his hair when he gets excited about something. it's the way they finish each other's sentences without thinking and barely have to talk about things to know what to do next because they can practically read each other's minds.

knowing jack is easy. this whole this has been easy, even when it really wasn't. when they got really lost an a snowstorm rolled in in September for no reason. even when they've been stressed about something going wrong, or being lost someplace scary, or not knowing if they'd make it to the next gas station, even when they've bickered for real and not for fun and even when they've gotten in actual fights a couple of time, it's always been easy. easy to come back to jack, easy to love jack, wholly and simply and completely because isn't that all he's ever done?

davey doesn't think jack is paying much attention to the youtube videos. he's never said anything about the comments or brought up anything from them.

so when they find another quiet moment, way up in the mountains in the southwest listening to the first snowmelt of the spring start to trickle down the slope, wrapped in a big blanket together on the roof of the van so they can see the stars without freezing to death, it takes davey by complete surprise. when jack, who's cuddled into his side and silently taking in the stars he's yet to get sick of being able to see so clearly, says, sometimes I wonder if they're right.

if who are right, davey asks, genuinely confused. the people on youtube who say they're watching us fall in love, jack says, like it's nothing. like it's not a sentence with the potential to upset everything about who they are and what they're doing and who they've always been.

oh? davey says, barely breathing and very, very aware of how pressed close together they are right now.

i guess i just know i could never do better than you, jack says, and davey has a moment of thinking oh he's just kidding until jack rolls to look at him instead of the sky. i don't want to try, I guess, he says. i know I'd never be able to find somebody as perfect for me as you are. I've always known, I've known since we met, and I know it's stupid and crazy especially when we're out here on our own and nowhere to go if things go wrong, but I want to kiss you, I think.

and when davey kisses jack, out here on a van roof wrapped in a blanket, listening to melting snow under a sky full of more stars than either of them could have imagined when they met, that's easy, too. and when they fall asleep, together like they have been sleeping for more than a year, it's easy to forget that anything changed at all because, davey realizes, they've been loving each other this whole time.

it was in the ways jack would pull over on a random farm road in Iowa to pick a pretty wildflower growing in a ditch, and davey would find the flower pressed between the pages of one of his books weeks later, carefully labelled with the date it had been picked. that was jack loving davey. and so was jack's sketchbook, brand new when they left and now so full he'd been adding pages for weeks, and half the drawings included davey's face. and so was jack's easy memorization of davey's order at every fast food place they'd stopped at, his diner go-tos and the drinks he liked when they stopped at an actual restaurant and it wasn't his turn to drive to wherever they were spending the night.

and davey had memorized the same facts about jack, and wasn't that also love? and the way davey would buy a stack of new books and donate the old ones every time they found a good used book store, and he'd sit in the passenger seat and read out loud to pass the time on long stretches of boring road. and when he was driving, wasn't it davey loving jack every time he took a left turn on the hunch there would be cows or horses instead of a right that would get them to where they thought they were going? and when davey found an excuse to stay at the top of a hiking trail lookout for long enough for jack to draw everything he wanted, even when jack kept looking up and saying they should go even when he wanted to keep drawing, wasn't that love, too?

they'd been loving each other this whole time, so maybe those youtube comments weren't the same after all. because maybe this had always been there, and it just took somebody else, somebody with no reason to lie, to point it out before either of them could see the other side.

when they finally, after almost a year and a half, decide it's time to go home to the city they've finally started to miss, they drive all the way out west again first. jack wants to take route 66 as far as it will go, so they drive from santa monica to Chicago and take pictures at every landmark along the way. it takes a month to be satisfied, and a few more days to make it home after that.

it's the last video davey uploads, he doesn't want to keep vlogging now that he's happily settled into his own skin and found a job he doesn't hate. maybe he'll freelance write on the side, eventually write a memoir about the time he and jack spent driving around just to do it.

in the last video, there are the usual clips. jack goofing off and getting himself in some kind of silly trouble, davey being accident prone and only avoiding getting seriously injured by some stroke of minor luck. there's also a shot of the two of them, the camera left a few feet away, standing at the edge of the grand canyon with jack's head on davey's shoulder. a drawing jack did of the two of them sharing breakfast at a little cafe. a video of jack adding his mark to the Cadillac ranch in texas. the two of them looking out from the top of the gateway arch. the kind of casually loving moments that maybe don't mean anything to some people, but that davey knows are exactly the kind of sign others had been picking up on this whole time. only this time, jack and davey know it too.

[hsslilly-blog]

i know nothing about coding but if i did i'd rip the damn game apart and pull out all the dialogue for quests and put them in a. idk spreadsheet or google doc or something. i HATE how this high school story and hollywood u are so badly perserved and documented, partially through the fault of its creators. i get that these are niche games that a grand total of five people even remember them but if i think about how an ENTIRE HALF OF THE STORY IS GONE BECAUSE THERE'S A REQUIRED SERVER CHECK it makes my blood boil.

i am too passionate about this

hi! this is not a bad idea at all, especially since hwu is… very lost. i’ll get to work on something like this as soon as possible! i’ll also make my hss screenshots available.

i’ll use this ask to rant. i simpatize with you… way too much. i try not to speak about this very often because it just makes me angry and because, well, it’s a super niche game and we had around four years to organize and archive it but… it is a niche game. by 2022, who even was active in the fandom besides like�� me and five other people? not to mention it was very out of the blue, with such a small window between the announcement and the shut down it was impossible to archive everything. i spent full days trying to screenshot as much of high school story as i could. and now i regret i didn’t spend this time archiving hollywood u instead. but what is done is done.

i think… i mean, as much as it sucks, high school story is still fully playable if you have the .apk (or if you have it in your ios). what really, really bothers me is how hollywood u is essentially… lost media? the game itself, yes, but over 20-30 quests are missing from the files because they were released after pixelberry (apparently) decided to store some of the assets on the online server and not locally anymore. even if i were to drop the quests in a word .doc, it still wouldn’t be fully available. and that makes me angry. hwu was last updated in 2018 with a “fix”. why couldn’t they have used the opportunity to make these files available locally? it was pretty obvious at that point the games were sunsetting one day. might have given the chance for the fans to preserve it in some way since hwu would be locked behind a server check forever.

i don’t know. i’m not a dev. but i’m pretty sure they had the tools and the means, they just didn’t see it as worthy of their time. and i get it a little. they were very busy with choices at that time. these games were very dead. pb was past them. but come on. hss and hwu were part of pixelberry’s history and i like to believe these games deserved more than what they got. ~30 days between the announcement and the shut down? please. a little bit more of respect for the art they themselves created!! i think it all just boils down to me feeling… angry, sad and… heartbroken that one of theses games is completely unplayable in 2024 and forever. just like that. to expunge and deprive people from the art you once delighted in creating and sharing is sad!

sorry for hijacking the ask. i just wanted to get this out. i’ll work on making the quests dialogues available.

[tokkiasnanowrimo]

nano | day 29

words: 1,901/1,667

notes: surprise bitch. bet you thought you'd seen the last of me. well you can't get rid of me that easy because i wanted to get the final two badges on the nanowrimo website so here we are to give me a break from the main story, i wrote a smutty spinoff that takes place after the fic. maybe i'll finish and clean it up and turn it into a real chapter i will post separately, or at the very least, that i will share in the discord server. it was mostly just a reward for finishing and a well earned return to smut that wasn't the only thing i worked on tho! i said i would do my gift exchange fic but i lied. this morning a conversation about the latest chapter devolved into the potential for a fic where natsu and lucy have to duke it out during an s-class trial and i wasn't going to not write it. after the gift exchange i think this might be my next big oneshot! that was not the last of what i wrote today--a month or so ago i came up with an idea for another multichap fic where natsu gets amnesia and completely forgets everything from well before lucy joined the guild and it's just a horrible hurt/comfort explosion that i think will be my next multichap after the fake dating one. i just had this vivid image in my head of him talking to lisanna and hearing what she has to say about lucy and i had to write it down. i'm really excited for it, i think it has a lot of potential and i know that it won't be for a lot of people but i hope at least one person will enjoy it

quote: Natsu hadn’t shut up about the damn trial since it was announced. His first year participating not as a contender, but as an S-class mage himself. Had that not been enough to get him going, this year was Lucy’s first year in the running. Going up against Natsu was one thing, going up against her boyfriend was another.

total word count: /50,000

[dracolizardlars]

I still can't get over the last ever (legitimately uploaded) level in Super Mario Maker to be beaten being called The Last Dance. No one even did it on purpose! People were trying to beat it while it was far from the last one, it was just so difficult it ended up happening to take the longest. The creator made that level years ago and would have had no idea Mario Maker would even "end" at all (Nintendo is completely shutting down its online servers soon). It's so, so incredibly cool

[mischas]

Hope you're having a great day! My comfort blog fr

I have a request (feel free to do or not do ofc). Can you do a gifset of all the times the show has mentioned Ryan and Marissa's bond being unique to them? I'm not sure if I'm clear so I'll give some examples: Julie saying the wife beater line, Alex asking if the two of them are one of those couples who'd always be a couple, the Mallpisode scene where Ryan hears Marissa say that the only person she ever felt that with was him, Ryan telling Lindsay that she was unlike anyone he's ever met before (minus the until you lol), Julie saying that Marissa listens to Ryan, maybe even Kaitlin calling them soulmates and Seth saying they belong together/he was a lot happier last year etc. I know you aren’t comfortable with Season 4 but there was a moment in the AU coma dream episode, Ryan doesn’t want to go back to the real world if Marissa is alive in this world- but feel free to ignore it if you feel like it!

(Sorry the ask is so long- you don't have to add these moments, I just felt like making a list of their moments because I love them so much. ✌️)

I had a good day yesterday! Today is back to the same grind but I hope yours is good!!

Sure thing! I feel like this can fall under the umbrella of characters just talking about RM as a couple, right? Since it usually references their fated journey and connection? And RM referencing it themselves. It may take me a few days but I'll add it to my list. And feel free to send in other examples of scenes to use (I feel like we all have our faves!)

You're right that I'm uncomfy with s4 but that is a fantastic scene (and unbelievably romantic, my god). I actually don't have any s4 eps downloaded and the discord server I was on that had them was shut down so I can't use that scene even if I wanted to (and I don't feel like t*rr*nt*ng that whole season). It's funny you mention it because I was just thinking of a gifset idea that features something from 401 but I can't because I don't have it downloaded 😂

[alanshee-keeper-of-realms]

Okay so for the last few days I've sat down to write this out, I have this queued to answer the blow out post of Diisdoodles

An ex friend who I thought of like family, a person I actually physically met, a person who now focuses on themselves

I repeat beating the dead horse I listened to them, from that Friday I listened and stayed away ranting in the Server we shared as is my coping mechanism. I rant nonsense because it is my insecurities I know and come to my senses eventually and calm down. I do it rhetorically if I am ranting

1. They weren't 17 when we met June 2021 they'd just turned 18 and was going into senior year of Highschool. I have gotten removed from several servers over former shipper habits, nowadays its rare for me to ship, seeing as everyone treats it like it's reality when it's not.

2. The White Supremists joke, ah that that was because every character they have had white skin, also they really hated acknowledging racism just ask em they removed it because others were uncomfortable with it in their writing,

3.That was without the context I laugh because I come from a toxic environment, my parents expect me to act a certain way and get angry if I try to tell them off, they are getting better however if you get pissed at this then yall are hypocrites, you cannot look at me and say your own families have behaved themselves no matter the race or culture, I'm talking everyone. Humans are Humans and we pick on each other, no matter how much we try to pretend we are innocent, we are not,

4. Oh this one hurt, representation is sick and twisted? Simone was dark already she's an Adult worker I even toned down for their sake. She's supposed to represent that money isn't everything Violet wasn't supposed to be a lawyer in the beginning she was supposed to be a doctor but did you know they have a phobia of hospitals so I purposely changed that for them so I wouldn't be triggering them

They're the ones who came up with the AUs min ideas, hey Dii remember Santa? A monster that feeds on the Fears of others and killed others because they couldn't escape said fears and starved to death

Or how about Echo, who is corrupted by the Wind Element and his own hatred for Zane becoming a Serial Killer? Simone was along for that ride corrupted by him,

And then that wind element moves on into another and turns them into a psychopath? Cause God the amount of tearing apart and gore in those would make Stephen King proud,

5. You see yourself as the Leader in everything. Why don't you step down from your high horse and realize being a Leader means you see everyone as equal

Your sheltered suburban 400k lifestyle is showing, a Leader doesn't step on others to make themselves look better,

A leader doesn't see another trying to create with their stuff and tell them no

I may have been using Nindroid Canon at the time, but I was trying to cater to you. I was trying to suggest things to add a bit to it

Did you forget to tell everybody how you muted those channels because you couldn't handle me having Realm 14?

6. Oh I am still mad about everybody else it's just you I'm vocal about because you traumatized me that much.

Though.she.be.little and General Yasur were apart of the trio,

Though.she.be.little gave bullshit excuses, who takes an RP so seriously like you have to change it thats ridiculous! I actually felt pretty damn guilty for forgetting their Sexuality and would still apologize for that to this day

General Yasur just baffles me. Honestly, I asked if I could vent and they said yes. I need clarification I need bluntness I need someone to rant to to keep that side out of the public. I found out how cold and not understanding they are towards mental issues after I asked for clarification and got blocked.

We were friends for longer than Diisdoodles I remember talking to them in 2018, and now they were so quick to shut me out.

7. You're really looking for an angle here, no I don't I have friends who are proshippers so if you're saying I should judge someone not on their personality and who they are but by their fictional shipping habits

Seriously dipped your toes into the Anti pool have we?

When I made that comment about you I apologized immediately and like I said in a prior post tried to explain my mindset but again you took it to heart

I don't care wtf you are doing I'm neutral and just here to read fanfics and support my fandoms, not get dragged into bs drama that reminds me of the Dems and Repubs fighting

8. No I don't because those people drive me nuts I can get hard headed about certain subjects but I'm no expert and clearly have no power

Came crawling to you? Full of ourselves again are we if I knew this would've happened looking for a friend

I would've never joined your stupid ass server

I remember the exact day I brought up the borg siblings, and you are immediately interested and wanted to hear more and even asked to put Chloe into an idea of an AU you had

And you kept on going. All I know you saw now is a meal ticket, easy street, yank these guys, and take off.

9. Felix is Transgender is it bad I wanted some rep and not have this Nindroid walk around hunky dory after being misgendered? Dysphoria is real and it's horrible.

10. You NEVER included anything at all the reason I mentioned it so much is because you avoid these subjects if your gonna be a show runner get your head out of your ass and be inclusive

None of them ever experienced anything you always had a fairy tale sheltered ending

God reading Harker made me wince because she was like an abused Housewife under Echo

Oh honey it's okay your murdering people but it's okay

Even children's shows push the envelope better!

11. It's because unlike you I didn't have someone to actually teach me this is the part I will admit I fucked up, I do have these and I am a lot more reactive then most

That kinda happens when your 2 years old sitting on the edge of the bed watching your caregivers abuse each other,

My brain learned to feign and shove the emotions away to survive no not an excuse, I know I did damage but I didn't know my emotions and that's why this keeps rearing up,

Didn't you do the same with this post I am writing about, however? You reacted to something that, by the normal sense, isn't a big deal

That picture its posted on Facebook it's on my Tumblr from Way Earlier like, no there is no reason, DMs when I feel angry I'm going to put walls up and show you your wrong, especially when I don't trust you to tell the truth.

You lost my trust the day you created lilac should I show everybody your plagiaristic side because I never got an apology for that

Now if I posted your Address or Name now that would be a big deal, yes my readers I know that very personal information

Diisdoodles in tern knows mine,

Makes me shake my head whenever they go off on a rage this is what the 5th or 6th time you've thrown a Temper Tantrum when people don't act like you want them to. Because to me it was all about you it was all about your Nindroid Canon

it was all about helping you create these worlds do I have no right to feel frustration that I can't create anything I want to do without you throwing a temper tantrum and muting channels that you want nothing to do with because it's not your stuff.

12. Wow with even I literally can remember the line I said that may make you think that I was arguing oh because Even is this way I thought that she would be this way, that's not arguing it's called overexplaining and I do it a lot because narcissistic parent it's how I get myself out of trouble, but it causes more trouble than it is worth especially when you have a person that takes everything to heart like you.

You say I couldn't handle being told no

way to put words in my mouth I don't fucking care honestly even isn't my character never was never will she be nor was Pandora or brat or Charlie

I never copied any of these guys afterwards not like how you did with mine

Quit trying to make yourself look better by telling lies because you removed me from all the servers and hide behind a block. Gee, it sounds to me like you really want this to be one-sided.

As for the final thing I love how you don't mention the fact that I literally asked you guys if you were okay with me talking about that fanfic because I knew it was dark.

I wrote it when I was 14 going through SA myself, yeah that makes it a ton worse but I love even more that you left out that context because we were all on voice chat and I don't recall sending it to you but the link is still up to this day because you know what I never delete things no matter how much a fandom changes shifts or whatever I just give them a warning about the stuff on my page.

It sounds to me like you have issues that you need to sort out because this whole post has just been seemingly about making yourself look better that's all I saw this as

That's all it's ever been about you got into some anti friends who are now side-eying you because of our former friendship and now you want to make yourself look better and God forbid if I post that picture because that shows your lying about your place in our relationship

And honestly that's such cowardice it's not even funny

Next time put some context because you know what I'm not afraid to put some context for people to read you just think about yourself in the long run and not others

You want to talk about white privilege look at yourself in a mirror didn't even have a fast food job they worked for Daddy as a secretary and had their own schedule live in a $500,000 house could go out and buy Legos whenever they wanted they could even within 2 weeks buy a $500 plane ticket to fly from where they live up to the city where the convention was being held for a weekend

Should I tell them about your car and what you wanted to do with it

And how much that actually fucking terrified me that I would hear that you got into an accident knowing that it was on purpose and that possibly the person that I see like a sibling or saw like a sibling was dead.

You're not the only one who is traumatized and you need to acknowledge that.

[guzsdaily]

Memento Mori

Day 17 - Nov 22nd, 12.023

Hopefully, I will create a video essay in the future about this topic.

"Memento mori (Latin for 'remember that you [have to] die') is an artistic symbolic trope acting as a reminder of the inevitability of death. The concept has its roots in the philosophers of classical antiquity and Christianity, and appeared in funerary art and architecture from the medieval period onwards." - Momento mori - Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia

I have an interesting relationship with death and the general idea of "everything has an end" personally. I'm never able to think of it as something good or bad, relieving or depressing, unnatural or inevitable, I'm still young, and thankfully I haven't lost that many people yet to know my relationship with it completely. Personally, it would be great if we could cure aging and have a fulfilling mostly immortal lives and be able to experience the mind-blowing size of this universe, but maybe our brains cannot comprehend and process a life bigger than 100, 200, 500 years. The only thing I know today, is that someday, everything will be a memory, independent if I die or not, the word and people change, and this is something with cannot be "cured".

Memories

- Not being able to remember

One of the worst symptoms of something like anxiety, depression, bad mental health in general, or even just bad sleep, is the degradation of your long form memories. I can't remember things from 5 years ago easily, I can even remember things from when I was a young teenager, and I'm just 19 years old! My childhood and teenager years wasn't interesting enough to me to remember easily, I was always inside my home, didn't have any friends to talk to during school, I didn't hurt myself, played, risked myself to be able to pinpoint interesting moments of my life!

I can't remember the face of my deceased grandparents... I always had a difficult with faces, not being able to reconstruct the face of my girlfriend or parents easily in my mind, and not I can't even remember how my grandparents looked like when I visited their home every week...

Most of my childhood is just a faded image, with just small areas where I can recognize things.

- Saving memories

Something which I can't thank enough is how today we are able to save and store things and events in photos, hard drives, videos, text, chats, etc., it's a privilege to be able to just go back in a chat and remember a joke that made you laugh with your friend, open your gallery to see an image that you took with your parents when you were young, or even just open YouTube to see a creator that you watched on your childhood again.

But what would happen if all of it goes away? If one day YouTube shuts down, if Google Photos or iCloud stops working, if Discord deletes your account? What happens to all those memories of yours? Do you give enough attention and care to be able to remember them from your memory alone? And I'm going to be honest, I'm not here to give an answer, blame the dependency on technology in plain 21st century, we can't save everything in our brains. But again, wouldn't be at least better if you saved said memories in a USB? Local hard drive? Put your blog posts in plaintext or markdown? Remove at least the dependency on online services, y'know? Because one day, they will go out, it's easy to unplug a server, to delete an archive, to lose a backup that you can't control, the average lifetime of a company is just 15 years, Google has 25 already.

- Sharing memories

You probably already know the concept of "two deaths" - "Everyone has two deaths, one when the body dies, and the last time someone says their name" - and I think that this could be taken not just as a way of "make an impact in people's life", but also "share who you are, and you will be remembered who you were". And you shouldn't be remembered by just other people, but also yourself, to remember who you were.

I never thought a lot on posting about my life, who I am, share memories, events, things that are happening and struggles I'm facing. Neither talking to my friends nor family sometimes, I always felt that my life is uninteresting, that no one will remember what I said. But I'm starting to realize that, writing these posts and, even more, sharing my thoughts with the people that I care, started to help me remember who I am and who I were. The people who love you, the people who find you interesting, will remember, they will remember about you and your stories, and they will continue to tell them about you, to yourself! They will help you remember who you are and were!

And they will remember about you and not let you die after your body does. Share your and others' memories, don't let you and others die out.

Everything has an end

- Change happens

A lot of times, the idea of "The End" is always associated with death, destruction, the complete stop of someone's or something's lifetime, but changes also end things. The person you were a year ago died, you change, your body has new cells. The world in which you lived in already died, government changes, experiences passes, people change jobs, technology and society progresses, and you can't do anything about it liking or not. Entropy cannot be stopped, and the world will never actually stop changing, for good or bad.

So everything will have an end, independent if it ends up being with a rewrite or complete burn of a book.

- Unus Annus

And you probably are already asking, why? Why this entry about death and change out of nowhere? And the most honest answer that I can give is: I'm subscribed to Markiplier, and every year I'm remembered about a project which he made in 2020, when I wasn't subscribed, called Unus Annus. If you don't know about it, in summary it was a YouTube channel that he and Ethan Nestor created together, with the premise of "after one year, this channel will be deleted, and all the videos will be lost" - you probably can see the connection of death, memories, etc. here.

I didn't watch Unus Annus, I've never heard of it until around the end of 2022 I think, and now that the channel is gone, the only thing that are today are the memories and people who talk about them. And I will never be able to experience it, see the videos, the fun that it had, because it's gone, and I didn't even know, I can't go back in time or change the reality that time passed and things happened without me even knowing about.

- You can't experience everything

Even if one day immortality becomes a thing, we will never be able to experience how it was in the medieval times, how the steam engine was created, and the start of electricity. I will never be able to know how a world without internet was, how World War was, how a world without computer and the digital machines worked. The only thing that we can have are the memories and experiences of others about said things.

One of the things that probably a lot of people have today is the want to do a lot of things, create worlds, draw characters, create software, create histories. But even if time was limitless, said things could fade away, software can have another meaning with new technologies, worlds can be created by others before we, or characters can lose their meaning after a while, so there can be a chance where we will not experience all of them. However, we will be able to talk to people who done said things, who experienced them, who created the same things you wanted to create, and those people will be jumping of joy to have someone to share their experience and memories with.

Everyone likes to share memories, and the more we share, the more immortal we are.

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Today's artists & creative things

Video: Unus Annus: The Most Interesting Channel (not) On YouTube - by TheSyperior After watching Markiplier's Unus Annus death anniversary video, I was recommended this video essay by TheSyperior about the channel. Because of this I made this journal entry in the first place, so it would be correct to recommend also the video to know about the history and how Unus Annus affected people.

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Copyright (c) 2023-present Gustavo "Guz" L. de Mello <contact.guz013@gmail.com>

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-SA 4.0) License