#i had no idea how to approach this bc like. they look mostly the same and assigning them colors wouldn’t work bc they’re too similar sdjsksj

[jellyfiishbones]

KKHOUND 32

HERE!!!! these colors suck ass to work with DJSJDJDKSKD /lh

[sansaorgana]

I had an idea earlier about buck x reader, where after buck and the other 2 escaped and left bucky behind in part 9, they stumble upon a house near the forest (after the german kid soliders attacked them).

The reader lives there and she basically helps them hiding for a bit and also returning to the english base. She is against the war (which is the reason she helps them) and maybe a little angst where buck needs to protect her at the base bc she is still a german citizen.

What do you think?

hi! thank you for your request! 💞 honestly, I think it's the first 100% angst piece I have written for Buck because even the ones with sad events that I have posted so far had happy endings... but not this one 😅 since I have already written a similar fic and didn't want to repeat the same ending... I couldn't think of anything else how they could have their happily ever after 😪 I hope you can forgive me 💔

I had to currently close the requests because I got so many so I'm working on them atm 🙏🏻

In the heart of the enemy’s territory, he felt like a chased wild animal. Even though he was still human enough not to pull a trigger at a brainwashed German kid, Buck Cleven felt like a prey with nothing but survival on his mind. The forest was dark, muddy and unfriendly. A never ending maze with predators hiding all around. A thought of his dead friend and a thought of Bucky left behind were what kept him sane. The sun was going down slowly and he had no idea where to go. His other friend, Bill, was right behind him.

“Buck,” he hissed and waved his hand to make them both freeze in place. “There’s a house,” he pointed at the dark and old building by the country road behind the trees. “We’re close to town.”

“The lights are off. Maybe it’s inhabited,” Buck pointed out. “If it’s the case, we can find some supplies there.”

“Shall I go and check?” Bill asked.

“No, I will go,” Buck nodded and clutched on the gun in his hand hidden under the coat.

He walked carefully and slowly, making sure not to make too much noise, with his back hunched and breath steady. His blue eyes scanned the garden behind the house. It had herbs growing there but it was messy and the windows were dirty. Everything looked as if it was abandoned.

Encouraged by the looks of it, Buck walked to the front of the house and tried to push the door open but they were locked. However, the door was wooden and old, all it took was another, stronger push to open them wide with a loud squeak that made him wince.

He waited for a while to make sure there were no footsteps approaching him but when he heard nothing but silence, he entered the house and walked around curiously as the last rays of the sun going down lit the walls and the pictures hung on them. There were mostly family portraits and religious images – everything cosy and very cottage-like. There was only one portrait of a young soldier in a Wehrmacht uniform but his face was so friendly and sad that Buck didn’t even feel any hatred looking at it.

Focused on the picture, he lost his focus for a while. And then he heard a small noise and turned around with widened eyes as he spotted a young, scared woman in the corner of the room. She had a gun, too. Her hands were shaking and her pupils were huge out of fear but she was pointing the gun at him. He didn’t know if he should raise his hands and give up or point the gun at her in return – it was very doubtful she would actually pull the trigger.

He trusted no one. When he took a small step ahead to test her, she startled but she didn’t unload the pistol. So he pointed his own weapon at her and in that moment she dropped her gun and lifted her hands up while sobbing.

“P-Please, no,” she pleaded in English. “Please, don’t kill me,” her whispers were broken and shaky and Buck felt bad for her. Did she live in that house? 

“Do you live here alone?” He asked, trying not to sound too nice. She nodded. “How so?”

“I lived here with my brother and my papa,” she explained and pointed her finger at the portrait on the wall carefully. “They took my brother away. In the beginning of the war. He didn’t come back. My papa, he was old now. But they took him too a few weeks ago. Because they need more men,” she was looking for the right words with her limited vocabulary.

“How do you know English?” Buck raised an eyebrow at her.

“Papa taught us. He was a soldier in the last war. He met the English and the Americans. He was a captive,” she explained and sniffled her tears. “Please, don’t kill me,” she begged once more and Buck felt stupid for still pointing his gun at her. He lowered his hand and she sighed out of relief.

“Do you need help?” He asked. Something about her and the state of this house made him forget about his own tragic situation at the moment. She was a young woman left alone in the middle of nowhere in a country that was on the verge of losing the war. It was not safe for her and she looked weakened as if she had not had any proper meal in a long while.

“Do you?” She asked.

“Me and my friend… He’s inside the forest… We ran away from the camp, too. We are American pilots. We need to get to the American soldiers. Do you know where we can find them?” Buck asked.

“They are in town,” the girl nodded. “I can take you to them tomorrow,” she offered.

“Why not now?”

“Because it’s dark already. And you need rest,” she pointed out. Buck squinted his eyes at her. “I don’t have a phone here. And German police are not here anymore. You are safe,” she assured him. “Tell your friend to come here,” the girl crouched down and picked up her gun again. Buck clutched on his but she hid hers into the pocket of her patched dress. “It’s not loaded,” she revealed to him with a sad smile. “I lost all my bullets two weeks ago when a few strange men came here and I had to scare them off.”

Buck nodded and slowly walked out of the house. He still was not sure if she was trustworthy but he craved nothing but rest. He came back for Bill and told him about the situation they had found themselves in.

“I’m not sure, Buck,” he shook his head. “Listen, what if I go there and scare her, steal some food and we run to that town on our own?” He proposed.

Buck understood where his friend was coming from. And he did not judge him. However, he did not agree to his plan.

“No,” he only said. “It’s just a girl.”

“They’re all just girls and boys. Like the kids back there in the forest,” Bill reminded him.

“I know. But she’s not like them.”

“How do you know that?” Bill requested an explanation.

“I just know,” was all Buck could say as he nodded at his friend to follow him.

Reluctantly, Bill went to the house after Buck. The girl was sitting by the round kitchen table and lighting a few candles. She looked up, giving them a doe-eyed look.

“I don’t have electricity here anymore,” she confessed. “But the candles are fine,” she added. “Here, I collected some of my brother’s and papa’s clothes for you to change. When I take you to town tomorrow, I don’t want anyone to know who you are. In the forest… There are a lot of people you can’t trust,” she explained.

“And you?” Bill asked, still not convinced. “Why can we trust you?”

“You have to,” she looked at him and then she turned around to point at the kitchen cabinet. “I don’t have much food left. And the fridge doesn’t work without electricity. I have some cans and a few wild berries I picked in the forest. Some cheese they gave me in town out of mercy.”

“We don’t want to eat your food,” Buck assured her. “Only a little bit.”

“I’m hungry,” Bill added and Buck shot him an unpleasant glance.

“So is she. And the food is hers. She doesn’t have to help us, you know?”

Bill went silent and took a pile of clothes to the living room where he began to change. Buck was left alone with the girl in the kitchen. She was looking down nervously, focusing on his hands to avoid his eyes.

“And what is your name?” He asked her out of courtesy.

“It’s (Y/N),” she whispered. “And yours?”

“I’m Major Gale Cleven,” he reached his hand out and she hesitantly shook it. She also dared to look up and meet his gaze. Buck felt his heart skipping a beat at the sight of how sad and broken those young eyes were.

Back where he was from, young girls were not affected by the war like this. Sure, they were worried about their husbands, fathers and brothers. But they were still drinking coke, danced at the parties, whined at the shortage of nylon and drew the lines on their calves to imitate the tights. They were slowly getting used to wearing jeans as they overtook the factories, they were poster girls and had their hair done up in victory rolls. They were marking the letters with red and pink lipsticks and perfumes. And this young girl in front of him already had the eyes of a very old and wise woman. It shouldn’t be like this.

“Major Gale Cleven,” she repeated. “Sounds like from a movie.”

He was just Buck. Nothing special at all. He was not even from Hollywood or New York. But to her he was already unrealistic enough. She batted her eyelashes and looked away, shyly.

“Not really,” Buck tried to convince her and she gave him a sad smile.

Bill came back in new clothes. It was Buck’s turn now but he was afraid of leaving (Y/N) alone with his friend, so he kept staring at them awkwardly.

“Go,” Bill rolled his eyes. “I won’t hurt her,” he promised.

So Buck grabbed a pile of clothes preparead for him and went to the living room to change as fast as possible. When he came back to the kitchen, Bill was already eating some canned food with a slice of cheese and a few wild berries. A similar meal was waiting for Buck, too. (Y/N) was sitting by the table but she had no food in front of her.

“And you?” He asked her as he sat down.

“I already ate,” she told him but he had a feeling she lied so he pretended to be full already after eating a half of the plate. He offered her the rest and she eagerly took it from him as her eyes sparkled. It was probably her first “proper” meal on that day.

After they ate, (Y/N) showed them to their rooms. One belonged to her father and it was downstairs. Upstairs there were two tiny bedrooms. One was hers and one was her brother’s. She wanted Buck to sleep in it. She didn’t have to say it out loud but he knew that she trusted him more than she trusted his friend. Bill was not complaining because the room downstairs was bigger and had a nicer bed.

When Bill was already in the bedroom given to him, (Y/N) was helping Buck to put the sheets on. He was insisting there was no need but she tried her best to be a good host even in such gruesome circumstances.

“When I do this… It’s a bit like… It’s still normal, you know?” She tried to explain the best she could. He nodded at her. He understood. “There you go,” she fixed the sheets for the last time and looked down proudly at the made up bed.

“Thank you,” Buck nodded and sat on the edge of the bed. He looked up at the poster on her brother’s wall. It was very old and the colours were faded away now but he could recognise it. It was a movie poster of Charlie Chaplin’s movie City Lights.

“My brother liked Charlie Chaplin,” (Y/N) smiled. “And the films. Especially American ones. He didn’t get to see many but he liked the posters,” she explained. “When he was able to see a film, he would come back home and tell me everything about it.”

“I hope he’s alright,” Buck tried to cheer her up.

“He died,” she explained and he felt a stinging pain in his heart.

“You only said he hadn’t come back…”

“They sent us a medal and all. He’s dead,” she explained. “But papa threw the medal away. It’s in the river now.”

“Why?”

“Because he didn’t like Hitler. And my brother didn’t like him either,” she nodded. “I wish he was here, my brother. He would like you,” she added before finally approaching the door to leave him alone for the night. “Good night,” she walked away and closed the door quietly.

Buck was exhausted but he couldn’t sleep that night. He couldn’t stop thinking about the girl. What would happen tomorrow? She would take them to town, drop them off with the Americans and then what? She would just go back here? To that awful house in the middle of nowhere where she was starving and not safe? He hated to even think of such a possibility.

The walk to town was stressful and everyone kept giving them funny and suspicious looks. However, (Y/N)’s poker face and determination managed to take them to the town centre safely. It looked awful and empty – like a ghost town. She pointed at one of the soldiers patrolling the street and told them he was an American.

“Go to him,” she only said and turned around to walk away but Buck grabbed her by the sleeve of her coat and Bill hissed at him. Buck didn’t listen to that.

“What about you?” Buck asked her and her eyes widened.

“What do you mean? I don’t want him to see me,” she explained.

“You’re just going back home now?”

“Yes,” she nodded.

“No,” Buck shook his head. “You’re coming with us.”

“What are you doing, Gale?” Bill asked, irritated.

“She deserves a warm meal at least,” Buck insisted and kept a tight grip on (Y/N)’s sleeve as they all approached the suspicious soldier.

They lifted their hands up and explained who they were. Their accents and believable numbers of their units made the patrolling soldier less hostile. But then he laid his eyes on the girl.

“And her?” He asked.

“She’s with us. She helped us,” Buck told him.

“I know her. She lives in this town,” the soldier squinted his eyes at (Y/N) and she took a deep breath in. “She’s German.”

“Yes, she helped us last night. We wouldn’t be here if it was not for her,” Buck repeated. “Listen, I just want her to eat something warm, alright?”

The soldier called for a few other men who came quickly after and had a short and quiet discussion. Eventually they nodded their heads at them and led them inside of a building full of soldiers. They all looked up curiously and suspiciously.

Bill left Buck’s side quickly to talk to the men stationed there. But Buck didn’t leave (Y/N)’s side as he felt he had to look after her in this place. They were given a proper, warm meal and they sat by the table in the corner. She was eating fast and with shaky hands like a starving child given food after a long while. Buck’s heart broke and he reached his hand out to hold one of her cold ones. She looked up, scared, and he smiled softly.

“Slow down,” he only whispered.

“The women here are nothing special,” one of the men sitting by the table nearby commented. “You should have seen the French ones,” he whistled.

Buck didn’t react to that as his jaw clenched. (Y/N) ignored that comment, too, but her eyes were saddened.

When she was done with her meal, Buck approached the man in charge of the unit and asked if they could give her a few cans of food and some other supplies. The man did not want to agree.

“We’re short on them ourselves, Major Cleven,” he explained.

“Yes, sir, I understand, sir. But she lives alone in the middle of nowhere. Her brother is dead, her father most likely, too. She helped us. She’s a good woman, sir,” Buck tried to convince him.

“There is no doubt about that, son. I’m sorry. She’s not the first and not the last good woman suffering in this war.”

Buck felt defeated and helpless when he approached (Y/N) who was already preparing to leave.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t convince him to give you supplies,” he admitted, ashamed of himself.

“It’s fine. I’ll be fine,” she tried to assure him and squeezed his arm. “You’re a good man,” she added. “Thank you for the meal… And the kindness.”

“I should be the one thanking you more,” he couldn’t help himself and he fixed her ruffled hair. Everything about her was screaming inside of him to help her, to take care of her. But he couldn’t and it was killing him. “I will never forget you, German girl.”

“And I will never forget you, Major Cleven,” she smiled and he could only watch her walk away, approaching the small road leading back to the forest.

If Bill hadn’t been there with him, he would have started thinking that she was nothing but a forest fairy he had imagined. After all he was in a land of fairytales.

MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST

[boltdrake]

Ok about moral greyness in elden ring fandom

I feel like it’s mostly treated as either some kind of badass cosmetics for a GoodGuy (like “my blorbo is cool and good and kind but you know they kill people - bad people, so it’s not bad but it’s not also your Jesus guy which is normal bc who would give their second cheek”) or some kind of euphemism used by bad/problematic/pseudo intellectual people to erase morality

I’m bad problematic pseudo intellectual person so take my opinion with grain of salt, but I think it’s a great misunderstanding or what a morally grey character is in ER especially

It’s usually based on the that understanding of goodness that to be good you just need to do good things and don’t do bad things (which is of course extremely vague and not defined but anyways). It’s seems pretty straightforward and because of that brings a lot of confusion

It’s quite easy for a character to be GoodGood (even with murders but I digress), you can see it in many fix-it fanworks where often every trouble finds its own, well, fixing, and there’s always a way to set things right, maybe just with some sad deaths along the way, but characters often will find this correct way because in these universes there’s always at least one

(It’s not a rant on fanfiction I like it and I like fix-its very VERY much)

And when same logic is applied to the game itself, often arises treatment of characters as GoodGood, MisleadedGood and BadBad ones

But in the stories we see in Elden Ring context is usually such that when a character wants to get something, even something good, like for example make people live forever or cure their own sister, there’s sometimes no way of resolving their trouble without facing some kind of moral choice, even if you’re a literal half-god. You either get what you want with a price, or don’t get it… also with a price. Because fromsoftware stories are build on conflict, tragedy and irony

That’s what makes character grey, the fact there’s no third option or that you don’t have third option just because world is that way and you’re unlucky. And not choosing to get what you want can be as bad as choosing opposite. And that’s what usually makes situation complex and twisted and inherently grey

I don’t want to say that like every person in fandom should treat all the characters as mostly good ones without making some way less sympathetic than others. Making characters twisted and horrible is fun! I’m just tired of the way how people 1) don’t realise there’s often HUGE room for interpretation and make it problem of others 2) hate characters with such a passion as they were real humans who live in your neighbourhood on planet earth 2024 3) sanitise characters into strictly Good and Bad ones etc etc etc

My whole vent on Miquella’s hatebase is in fact divided into two parts, one being me thinking many people just lack understanding of the DLC/base game ideas and plot, but that’s ok we all have different opinions (I’m just the only one who is correct. LIVE WITH THAT.), and second being that vague ??rudeness?? and hatred which accompanies division on Morally Good and Morally Bad, because there’s this subtle idea like. Oh if you like Godrick/Rykard/Post-DLC Miquella / Seluvis then you’re moral pervert/ lover of Dark. Which is rarely true and really annoys me

I also have no trouble with GoodGood characters being GoodGood because, well. it’s comforting and cozy stuff. But often it turns into token of moral superiority, like look I love GoodGood guy because I’m good too and also not stupid. This is also annoying and I wish we had less of this in fandom.

It’s often also a lie to oneself, because even if we approach elden ring from I Can Simp Only Morally Pure ones (which is very boring and butchers the whole thing in my opinion) then we would probably be left with only Boc, Hewg and maybe Roderika. What do you mean you want to simp LITERAL murderers?? What do you mean you want to simp those assholes demigods who think that people are just dolls for their games, who turned the land into land of the dead because they just couldn’t stop war after war after war to decide who will make new order? What do you mean you want to simp the demigod who quit the war to do literally nothing to stop it???? CRINGE

Also GoodGood character headcanon making without self-awareness often results in very weird moral twists of its own, because in this logic character is allowed to make only GoodGood decisions, therefore all the stuff character made in canon MUST be good and morally justified. This leads to something like Marika fans writing essays on the topic You Can In Fact Deserve Genocide

Enough for today have a good day fellow dlc lovers 💪

Upd posted this on main by accident got jumpscared it’s so hard to copy past on mobile for some reason. No edgy on main I promised!!

[zhongrin]

To the kinich post

why can we kill baby monsters and not cats. Or dogs. Can we kill the foxes on Inazuma? The seals yes.

Hoyo is weirdly specific with that is a monsterlife lesser then a stereotype pet?

Or do cats symbolise something else in the game because of Venti being allergic?? (He is a fucking WHISP not even human he is just copying an appearence how the fuck does he have an allergy??? HE CONTROLS THE WIND HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS EVEN-)

We are the monsters here.

Have u seen the hilichurl just chilling around. The slimes playing? The evolved hilichurl watching the world? They use instruments. Slimes to fly. They know how to use instruments. Pyro slimes for explosion. Dendro to create shields (how the fuck i want that too) anemo to transport and fly.

They have a fucking language. Most are former people. We are just to ignorant and fearful to realize we've been killing sentient people who laugh and have fun and have their own traditions and-

*falls over and gets carried away by an exasperated husband* "...I know I shouldn't have given you a sight to the over darkness."

ok nvm i lied i didn't (can't) sleep bc of all the noises outside (yay /s) so here goesー

hskdjskdj no idea i mean game-design wise it makes sense sure, but lore wise??? idk why we're attacking these natlan ppl and their saurians, they look normal and are mostly just chilling in nature... why are we beating them up? lore wise? i don't think there's an explanation for it?? maybe they 'got too excited' like what the daily quests says and we're just calming them down?? lmao

and again if we approach it lore wise, it doesn't make sense for the traveler to continue killing the hilichurls either?? at this point they know what the hilichurls are. so yeah, it's all for the sake of gameplay orz

........

hnmmm. here's an idea...

cw. not proofread, word vomit, violence/light gore

you get isekai'd into teyvat. you're worshipped as the creator and all that pizzazz; we all know how it goes so i'm not going to explain further.

now imagine, one day you decide to stroll through the lands, accompanied by a few select people; perhaps the 'main team' you always use for exploration in-game. a few ways away, you see a camp of hilichurls. obviously you know what they actually are, and you got curious if you could do something for them, right? i mean, being the creator, an all powerful entity, you might even be able to reverse their curse? who knows? better try it out!

so you step closer to try and communicate with them.

but to your utter surprise, instead of doing so, you find your body moving on its own, hand raised to grab the nearest character's weapon, before swinging with the full intention to kill.

thud.

the blade decapitates the poor creature's head.

as it rolls on the ground and you stare at the gruesome sight in both horror and denial, bile rising from the back of your throat, your acolytes follow your example and proceeds to eradicate the entire camp.

your will is their command, after all.

you can't even scream. you can't find your voice. nit because of fear or sadness or frustrationー you just can't.

once they finish, they return to you, expecting praise and adoration, only to be greeted by tears and muffled sobs. they don't understand why you were crying; even before your descent to teyvat, haven't you been commanding them to do the same thing, countless times? they try to offer you the remnants of the hilichurls' bloodied masks and divine scrolls ー you've always liked receiving those! why are you crying harder? what did they do wrong?

you look like you were trying to say something, but they find the words leaving your mouth is of a language they have never heard before.

you thought you could find a home in the world you loved so much.

but you just feel..... lost.

[spoiler/explanation below]

eventually, you realize you were no 'creator' of this world at all.

you were just a string marionette of celestia's.

'the creator' had always been an illusion; an existence They created to pull the blanket over everyone's eyes. your existence's sole purpose is to control the archons, the dragon sovereigns, and the people of teyvat. like an ignorant shepherd leading the sheeps straight to the maw of the wolves.

you weren't some all knowing creator.

you weren't even a monster.

you were never yourself at all.

[kel-lance]

JJK Mafia Au (JJK x Reader) PART 3

Warnings:

- TW: Dead dove dont read (DDDR) Minors do not interact (MDNI): SA, Physical Assault, DubCon, NonCon, Mindbreak, Public Humiliation, Breeding, Ownership, Gaslighting, Multiple manipulation, RWORD, PTSD, a lot more toxic sh.

Premise:

Reader lives in a city where the two biggest gangs keep things line until the third gang showed up. That had nothing to do with you though, until dumb luck just happened to favor you one day. Basically You’re picked up and used by every dangerous criminal within the clans due to some alliances they had to create due to some members messing up the previous alliances. ((Almost everyone’s gonna have a turn 🤗)) ( i have 12 chapters planned out right now meaning after i write those ill still be writing more.)

___________________________________________________________

AN: Sorry for the long update im trying not to get evicted bc i was fired a while ago bc of a protest (surprise surprise big companies dont like or care about palestine or other places like it.) but i had to give away my cats and am still struggling i have my socials in my masterpost if you could help if not its okay ily

____________________________________________________________

You weren’t even conscious when you realized that you were still full of him. “Now he just thinks he can do as he pleases, oh my god, what a prick.” You were about to tell him off until he put his hand on your back. Stirring awake, Sukuna can feel as you tighten yourself around him. You realize you’re being stretched while laying upright on his chest. 

You don’t think opening your eyes right now would be a good idea. Mostly because you could hear other people nearby? Sukuna laughs as he feels your realization. You could only pray that this phone call ends soon, and glad no one could see how red you thought you were, as your skin was glowing hot.

The base of your spine and neck  were sore, like the rest of your body. Your back started to hurt, you needed more support. Sukuna caught this and moves you off of him, making a fwopping noise, and putting you back onto him with your back to him, like you wanted. But now you were facing his table, and he wasn’t on a phone call, you two were in a meeting. He was sat at the head, and quickly you catch a few pairs of eyes on you, your left hand grabs onto him and your right hides, your face.

“No way no way no way no way, oh my god,” You shook as Sukuna pushes himself into you. It was a lot, you could only throw your head down and cringe your face as this angle put pressure on another part of your sore body. 

You stifle your yelps, trying not to look at anyone sitting in front of you.  No one else is trying to look, most were red and blushing while the rest tried to ignore it. You didn’t need to be saved in this situation, but this was a worse way to wake up than not waking up at all. Your squirming had the leader release into you like it was nothing, his body and breathing stayed the same as he twitched violently inside of you. “He’s got to have done this before.” —————————————————————

“I couldn’t just leave you in that room. I needed all my men this morning, it was important.” Sukuna was talking out loud as he carried you to the infirmary. Now that everyone was free to go back to their posts, he wanted to bring you back to the twins to be able to go back to work. 

“So I’m left to guess, you’re really just a random citizen that I met in an alley way?” He asks as he approaches the doors. He looks down at your pouting self, embarrassed to hell and back about what he just did to you infront of 20+ people. 

Taking that as a yes, he heads in and instructs the girls to take care of you again. There are still no words spoken between you 3, not even the twins talked to each other, they can just telepathically communicate, adding to the creepiness they were embodying. You almost wanted to close your eyes and let them do what they needed to but this wasn’t a spa, and they weren’t happy with where they were currently. All you knew was that Sukuna was holding someone important to them hostage, and they were good nurses too so it seemed to be in Sukuna’s favor to have them all. After they finished, they gave you a few napkins w different pills on them, about 2-3 pills on each napkin. They finally spoke, explaining that each one would be for the next day in the morning and at night. You needed to rest and they would be busy, yet back to care for you randomly as they’re needed for the upcoming missions. 

After they leave, you’re left to just lay there and thing about last night. Was it really worth it? You acted out due to desperation, in your head you didn’t feel bad because he did it to you first, and worse things after that. You just wanted some relief and god you got more than 7 times worth last night. You added 2 more this morning as Sukuna fucked you in front of his people. 

You were briefly given time to think before the door opened suddenly, and a new man came in. It was one of your guards from the first few nights, you think he might be the one who fell asleep outside your door last night. You were still sat upright from what Nanako showed you to be the morning and nightly pills you were supposed to take. 

The strange man comes up to you with urgent speed, his hand finds itself around your face as he pushes you into the wall, your head pounding from the collision. “Why would you do that? Why did you do that? What the fuck is wrong with you?” His voice was high in dismay, eyes wild and pink hair like Sukuna’s. Speaking of which he looked so similar to him, the man in front of you had a kinder face, his eyes glowed red but his features were younger, softer. 

His fingers squeezed your face together like he was trying to ball it up. You could only raise your hands enough to try and push him away but your aching body was barely letting you move. His grasp spoke volumes, you just wished you knew what you did. Was he mad because you broke out? He didn’t look hurt or punished in anyway, so what was his problem?

“You fucking idiot.” He spat out, letting go of your face, he sits at the end of your bed with his head in his hands. Youre left to check on the bruises his fingers left on the sides of your face, not scared but apart of this new man who barged in, not knowing if Sukuna knew if he was with you currently. 

“What did I do?” 

“WHAT DO YOU THINK?!” The younger man was so upset you’d even ask. “Another few days and you would’ve been set free, I talked to him and we made a bet,” What was he taking about? “If you aren’t part of the other two gangs, that we’d let you go and he’d never bother you again, but if you were part of them, and especially if you broke out to do something stupid, we’d send your head back as a message.”

He throws his head back up to look at you. “I already know you’re not part of this, but why the fuck did you do that last night?” 

He could be anybody, it didn’t matter if they looked similar. You weren’t about to make more trouble so you decided you weren’t going to tell him anything. You could only trust the people he assigned to you. “Listen dude, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about-“ 

“Of course you don’t!” He slammed his fist into the bed. “You could at least play along to get out of this! Ughhhh.” He groans further into his hands. “At this rate everything could go to shit.” He grabs your hands from your face and holds them in his, looking you square in the face. He stares at you for a second, examining your expression and the bruises his older brother inflicted on you. “What you did could have trapped you here forever, but you deserve a life of freedom, especially since you were dragged in this by accident.” He squeezed your hands tightly. “But seeing how you acted last night… Seriously do u want to die?”

You were pissed, how was it your fault? Why did you have to explain yourself in this situation? “He started it.” You huffed. The man’s hands let you go, reeled back, and backhanded you across the face, having you hit the wall behind you. “This isn’t a game. I’m gonna have to set you free myself.” He rips the blanket off from you and climbs on top. His large body has you immobile, and he wasted no time. He pulled apart your robes, flipped you around, and spat in-between your legs, taking his already hard on and smearing the spit around with his head before stuffing himself in, not caring if he covered himself fully or not. 

The sudden entered had you scream into the pillow, writhing as the dry skin hooked at you from the inside. What was going on, is this allowed? You had so many questions. Living through another rape was nothing, living through another beating, just to still end up alive, you couldn’t be worried, you were more bothered that everyone was just doing what they wanted to you. Much to your surprise, this man who invaded your body, he stopped moving once he was fully in you, and he started to whimper. 

The noises he was making weren’t something that should be coming out of a violent gang member, you would’ve never thought you’d witness something like that, much less actually feeling him start to slowly sob as he lets himself go, coating your walls inside, pressing himself deeper in, his dick twitching consecutively as his chest caved in and his voice wavered, trying to break out of the choke in his throat. 

You were more confused than anything. Being used as an object, okay whatever, but why is he crying?? You hated people like that, it’s not up to them in this situation to feel that way, but whatever, he was done right? What was his deal? Now you were going to need another shower. 

Sighing and shuttering, you were still regaining yourself from hitting the wall and the injuries his hands inflicted just minutes before, the shock of it all just put fear on the back burner. No, you couldn’t be scared of men, you were only angry. 

“I- I’m sorry.” He managed. “I’m so sorry.” It wasn’t like he had realized what he did was wrongs but that he had to do that. “My brother, he doesn’t like to share, rather, he hates me so if I touch anything of his-“ 

Once again the door swings open. The man still inside of you is frozen, and youre still facedown into the bed, but you can only guess who it was. “You’re wrong, Yuuji.” 

Yuuji slides out of and covers himself while sitting beside you. Raising your head, you watch to see how this new situation was going to play out. You only got that this brat was throwing a tantrum over his older relative, and he was trying to act equally as cruel, but the truth was surprising. 

“You really thought they wanted to leave? I told you about them, and you asked yourself to guard them bc you believed they wouldn’t try anything…” He walks in further to taunt his sibling. 

All you could do was watch. Yuuji, being the big guy he was, looked like he shrank in size as his brothers footsteps led him closer to your bed. Sukuna had reeled his fist back and sent Yuuji flying back, knocking into the next bed around. 

“You see Yuuji, I was starting to like this one, but you’re right, sharing isn’t really my thing.” He walks closer to you now, his aura would be enough to choke anyone up, and his eyes glowed, not like anything you’ve seen before. “That’s why I’m going to surprise you all today. I’ll share. I’ll be as generous a guy as you couldn’t believe… COME IN!” 

His words were instructed as a group of people walked in the door. It was a few men, and one woman. Only two paid Yuuji’s back hand some mind while the rest stood at the end of your bed. Sukuna’s at your side now, trying to figure out how to be gentle and play with your hair, but only managed to pick it up and toss it out of your face. 

Someone from the group groaned, he was a taller man but around the same age as Yuuji. He was huge, buff and with a wild ponytail, to be honest he looked as equally scary as Yuuji and Sukuna combine if that made sense. Sukuna points him out, “Ever since Todo brought you to our attention, Yuuji just couldn’t help himself. He actually wanted you first.” He looked back at his glaring relative, “And I would have let him have it too if you didn’t break into my room last night.” He pulls you to him, his eyes eating up the sight of you before the feast. “Was it worth it Yuuji?”

Yuuji tries to get up and lunge at Sukuna but Todo and someone else hold him back. “Keep holding him, I’m gonna show him how badly he failed.” The large man picks you up, flip you around and splay you legs out, exposing you to the rest of the room. You can’t fight much, letting them see Yuuji’s remnants leak out of you.

“Yuuji, we’re not gonna stop until you finish, too.” That’s when you really looked up, there were six other people in the room with you, and what sucked was that you knew he was serious. “You might even be the dad, that’s the only way how I’ll let you have her.” Though you were in his arms just hours before, even had spent the night with him, yet now you’re squirming away. He grabs your bruised cheeks and shows you the line.

“Who wants to go first?” What do you even think in this situation? Were you scared? Were you ready? Were you angry? Would you adapt? Or would you freeze? It all didn’t matter, you didn’t get any time to think about how you were feeling for even a minute after they started.

A man with messy dark hair stepped forward. His dead eyes and face tattoo made him look so pretty, along with all the jewelry, brought out by his cool yet mean look. “Choso! Not a surprise; Hurrying to not hurt Yuuji?”

“I have shit to do.” He growled back to Sukuna. Coming forward he takes you away from the older man, pushing him adjacent the crowd. Driving right in, he kisses you roughly and climbs on top of you. His hands find their way up your torso, pulling your body closer to his, you’re basically a toy to him.

Because it was so sudden, you couldn’t really respond quick enough to hold him off. At this point there was really no fighting it. You sure did try, and you could but you thought with this group, they’d just get off on it. Knowing Sukuna, just meeting his brother, and now their other “brothers” are just here to try you out, especially remembering that they’re the new gang that pushed the Kamos out.

The large man has pushed you back into the bed, putting his weight on your legs as he completely buries you. Remembering that you’re fully naked now, your body goes into flight mode, all you can try to do is flail or move your face away but Choso has more control of your body than you did.

“Choso, you’re doing it wrong.” The woman chimes in. Walking over to critique his abrasive actions, the blonde comes from across the room to the side of the bed next to you two.

Choso parts his face from yours to groan into your chest. “We gotta hurry up…”

“I get that, but this is a break! And a great one at that,” she turns around and gives Sukuna a thumbs up.

“What the fuck? Why is she in on this?” The blonde lady was scaring you more than the men, it was like she was having fun just being invited.

“Here Choso, like this.” She nudges him off of you, and picks you up by the arms to sit you on her lap. Her muscles bulged, she made it look so easy picking you up like that. Your legs wrapped around her waist, as there was no other way to position yourself comfortably. She places her hand on your back as she brings you closer. “Good girl.”

You could only blush as her other hand found its way across your hip, caressing you up and down that sends a shiver down your spine. She kisses at your beck and teases your ear lobe so much your hips start to move on their own. She catches you with her fingers, plunging two deeply in you. “See? She’ll come right to you if you do it right.”

She has you sitting back pressed up against her, her changing movements kept you excited from her unpredictability. Digging her fingers deeper, she twirls them around to spread around Yuuji’s kids within you, not letting anything spill out. The only reaction you were strong enough to let go was just uncontrollable moaning. She has you in such a mess that you could only be vocal.

She takes out her fingers and uses the wet to flick at your clit, holding you down with each jolt and spasm the lady got out of you. “Kamo Jr.~ come ‘ere.” She calls to someone across the room.

“Stop fucking calling me that.” Finally, the last man you hadn’t observed yet started to make his way towards you, his hair was cut short and neat, but his face was stone cold. That comment riled him up enough to have him start unbuckling his pants.

“You act like you hate it~.” The woman caresses your body, making a display for the upcoming man. “I got her all ready for ya, so give us a show..”

You lol your head up and hold onto her forearm for support, looking up at ‘Kamo Jr.’ who was standing between your legs. This was the closet you’ve come to regain control in this situation, just being conscious enough to know who was next, you could only hope your mind erases and forgets it all.

“C’mon Kamo, you need to let your anger out…” She spreads your lips apart while her other hand moves your head enough to expose your neck. “And Sukuna’s given us a treat.”

Kamo stood there silently, upset wasn’t even the word for it. It looked like he was holding himself back for a while, considering that they broke up his family with recent discoveries. He was the promised heir, that idea was now thrown out the window the second sukuna killed his father.

He just learned that Choso was alive too, another rogue from the family who was stronger, smarter, older, etc. His future fell apart in seconds, and he hadn’t a moment to take it all in as they started bossing him around as one of the heirs of the top three gangs in the area. He just couldn’t catch a break really.

When he got to the bed, he gripped your thigh so hard he moved your entire body towards him in one movement. Your thoughts of his fingertips leaving bruises was quickly dropped to your stomach as he pressed himself onto you.

“Jesus fuck, what’s in their DNA why are all these dudes so hung?” Your poor mind and pussy, you really couldn’t continue this session if you wanted to keep the last peace of mind you had. You couldn’t lie though, the blonde lady’s tactics really did help to relax you, but knowing she’s just there to help them get off makes you still anxious about her.

This new guy though, as cold as Choso, was quick about it. He pulled himself out of his pants, only exposing what he needed as to say “Let’s get this over with.” Finally peering down at you, his eyes were almost dead until the lady brought up his anger. His remaining family was taken hostage and was released when Kamo offered to help Sukuna in exchange for their lives.

This was probably the last thing he could have wanted. Given his situation, with no other options, literally commanded to do something morally and ethically wrong, there was just so much going on in Kamo's head while he roughly repositioned you. To be honest it didn't seem like he was paying much attention until he realized he had pushed himself inside.

His mind was engulfed by only things he couldn't control, to now groaning due to the sudden change of overstimulation. Obviously you couldn't do much, but being on your back, spread out and being quickly devoured by the crowd invited, you had just a moment, a quick second to regain your senses and be in control. The last thing you remembered was Kamo starting to pick up speed, making your whole body involuntarily start to shake from each stroke, while the blonde woman brought her lips to yours and told you to eat.

The sequence of events went like this, Kamo fucked the shit out of you, basically blacked out when it started to really take off. As you struggled to stay focused on helping Yuki, Choso came to join, while all you could offer him was a hand, he pushed Yuki out of your face and shoved himself down your throat.

As Choso roughly played with you as he facefucked you, tugging your hair back and slapping your cheeks to feel the vibrations inside, Yuki snaked her way down to help pleasure/torture you more as Kamo was getting all his allowed frustration out. If you could get a glance at Sukuna, he would be smiling proud, you didn't know if it was because he was proud of his family, maybe even you for being good enough to satiate them, or maybe it was even just the thought of being in control once again.

If you got a glance at Yuuji, he would be looking away or have some weird look on his face. Was it pity? Was it sorrow? Regret? What was with this guy? "He called dibs." What is that supposed to mean, there's literally no common factor between us, so why would he really be feeling this way?

Choso started to bruise you throat, Kamo and Choso both ramming into you from opposite ends, basically using you for their anger, it was honestly becoming the best fuck of your life. It almost couldn't matter anymore, you were already getting fucked crazy with another man's cum lubricating the next man's round. Seriously if they didn't get you pregnant by now, the next set of people surely would.

[admiringtheskies]

okay, so The Hyperfixation Is Hyperfixating, clearly, and honestly im just gonna continue going with it bc THEM— *screams* ANYWAYS @frownyalfred uhhhhhh hope you enjoy this as well! without further ado, another idea inspired by the incomparable ✨borderline✨ that just would NOT leave me alone until i got it all down into actual real words:

at some point further in the timeline of borderline'verse, when they've finally got the whole situation mostly under control, the batfam (whenever they accompany bruce, or multiple kids go together by themselves so they're in batclan mode, to do jl/other crossover shit) sort of ends up just doing the whole Bat-Danger-Aura thing, like, Constantly; somewhat unintentionally, but also with not much effort really made to rein it in, bc they do think the reactions are hilarious lol. and like, the thing is, they were ALREADY doing it pre-bond, pretty much right from whenever dick, jason, or both made their first appearance w bruce outside of gotham and first established the existence of mini-bats for the outside world — i mean, that sense of leashed power, as well as the eerie synchronicity and ability to communicate in the tiniest of gestures, was really just a natural consequence of the crime-fighting codependency and the training bruce put them through, originally. (as you may be able to tell, i have an Extremely Normal Amount of Feelings about the concept of cryptid batfam <3). but WITH the bond?? i mean, the kids are all connected to each other, yes, but their primary connections are all to BRUCE, and once they've had time to adjust, and set + actually semi-consistently enforce some basic boundaries, they absolutely take pride in using that to it's fullest advantage (that they're capable of while not intentionally compromising anybody's autonomy, anyways).

and like… OP's already touched on this in earlier chapters briefly a few times, but i NEED a thorough exploration of the idea of bruce seeing this change in them, seeing them subconsciously incorporate even just these little subtle mannerisms, and feeling so fucking guilty about it and spiraling bc he's terrified that all of his self-destructive qualities [that he's painfully aware of in himself] will transfer over to the children, who somehow never seem to realize that how proud and grateful they make him when they demonstrate their DIFFERENCES from him in those regards. and he's just so scared that he'll somehow ruin the few parts of them he thinks he's miraculously managed to avoid 'tainting' with his mentorship/fatherhood until now… …and meanwhile the kids are about to start crying because dad no what the fuck,,, but also facepalming a little bit bc jesus CHRIST, B, did you never even stop to consider the fact that you're just… really fuckin smart and skilled and know how to do a frankly ungodly amount of Cool Shit that we all share an interest in, and we were excited to have the chance to copy more of that shit too?! just, even beyond the great mental image of the Danger Walk, what really got me about that scene was just... his two oldest boys, who are already so much like him, not hesitating for a SECOND to gleefully take the chance to match his behavior even MORE perfectly, and wanting to know where he learned something as (relatively, by their standards) simple as the Serious Business Walk, and wanting to share that memory because it's just fuckin cool, y'all! like, to be clear, i absolutely respect the fact that, at least by the time that they're entering adulthood/in the prime of their mental and physical youth, any of the batkids are pretty much on, or definitely rapidly approaching, the same level as bruce in general badassery — and they probably each have 1 or 2 specific skillsets in which they can and do surpass him. but at the same time, you CANNOT convince me that, at any given point in the established DC timeline, there exists a non-bruce batfam character who can really look at bruce (like his personality, his aforementioned ridiculous skillset, i mean everything about him) and not see at least ONE quality in him that they aspire to. maybe it's something they already have and just can't see in themselves, maybe it's more a projection of something one of their other siblings has and shares with bruce, maybe it's just some skill, some random combat move, that he doesn't need very often, and so when he does use it, it briefly reminds them that "holy shit, he's The Fucking Batman" — but there's always SOMETHING there, some reason that even when they're having trouble communicating or arguing or emotions are running high, they'll never truly lose that respect for him that compels these ridiculously independent, self-sufficient people to willingly follow him: to listen to him, to trust him, and to keep themselves ready to unite under his lead. because nobody can argue that they are a clan, whose purpose comes from being first united under the guidance and protection and love of the bat.

[nortonluv]

hello sweetie! :D

i see that you want to write about descendants and i would absolutely love to share some requests i've been thinking about.

idk if you write ficlets, headcannons or oneshots, so you can write in the way you feel more comfortable! :)

so, the thing is, uma and harry (separately) x artist!reader (gn please!!) where the reader draw and write music and poetry about their lover/crush. i just want to see how they would react if they seen the readers art bcs i think it would be soooooo cute!

(im so sorry if you can't understand something, english isn't my first language.)

take care of yourself. love u!!

I love this so so much! thank you!

Hope this doesn't end up being too bad, I feel it was a little rushed (not because I felt I was being rushed just that I had a few thoughts that I needed to write before they were gone yk?)

I'm doing it so it's:

Harry Hook x painter/drawer!reader

And

Uma x music artist! Reader

To make it easier to imagine

Also I've kept it gender neutral dw and I've also written it so Uma and Harry are in Auradon when they meet you

Please feel free to request more at any point (I'm going to write for all descendants characters but mostly Harry Hook)

----------------------

Harry Hook

Let's imagine Harry has no idea who you are in the beginning

Some random person that's always seen drawing, painting, creating something.

He's seen some of your works hung around Auradon prep in expensive looking frames

He doesn't approach you for a while, in fact Gil is the first to meet you

Gil takes the same art course as you so you meet there when Gil had a bit of a paint disaster

Harry was originally cautious around you because he thought you'd be some stuck up art critique kind of person who was going to complain about Gil

But when you instead explain that you could see what he was trying to do but the actual execution of it wasn't great , Harry laughed with you

Overall your first meet was a positive one that was the beginning of a laughter filled relationship

Harry would always see you sat somewhere, in some weird position, scribbling away in your sketchbook

He eventually spots what you are drawing, or better yet who.

Him

He crashes.

All thoughts, Gone.

He's just staring at it for a good 5 minutes before you have to click your fingers in front of his face to wake him up.

"H- How, no, why are ye drawin' meh?" Heat rises to his cheeks and he slowly brings his thoughts back to Earth.

He'd already had been developing feelings for you since you two met. I mean you were nice to his friends, kind to him, he let you meet his sisters at one point and they seemed to even like you. You are fun to be around, you check that he's taking care of himself, you make sure he's not too bashed up from the sports he plays. What isn't there to like?

"You have a pretty face, nice to draw." He takes note of the blush that grows on your cheeks and the way you look off to the side with a shy smile growing. "I draw the people I like, the people I'm closest to."

His heart almost stops. Did you just try to kill him?! 'cause clearly you aren't aware of the way you make him feel.

I headcannon Harry to be Pansexual, as a pan person myself, so he was kinda well known on the Isle for being able to flirt with anyone he wanted for various reasons

But let me tell you, not once had he had the air knocked out of his chest from a few simple words.

You take his silence the wrong way and begin packing your things to go find somewhere to wallow in your shame, but Harry just drops to his knees in front of you.

"Please, draw meh, whenever ye want to." He is on his knees looking at you with the happiest smile he can muster and almost puppy like wonder in his eyes. "I'll be yours, if you'll be mine?"

Okay that bit came out a little too easy to him, he didn't really mean for that to happen.

But he can't complain since you agreed!

Everything you create for him, he treats like it's the most fragile item he's ever come in contact with

He's always showing it off though he's so appreciative of everything you do so he wants to show the entire world

When you feel down for not feeling your art is good enough, he's oddly prepared to show every bit of art you've ever given him with reasons on what makes it perfect to him

He may as well be prepared with a PowerPoint presentation on every one of your works he's seen

I fact he's probably prepared one somewhere, pictures, effects, transitions, the whole shebang!

He draws too, almost forgot to mention. I've got a little headcanon of him always doodling pirates on cool adventures when he was younger on the isle. I also like to imagine that there was a time where Evie and Harry liked to draw together but Evie drew Princesses and dress designs and Harry drew pirates which created some childish clashing between the two. So they'd stopped almost as soon as they started their little doodle hangouts

That's offtrack, sorry.

He gives you pictures of you in multiple different styles, each time it seems like he's trying to depict you as an angel of sorts

He also draws the Uma and the crew but he comes to check that he got everyone right with you

ART DATES.

YOU'RE GOING TO ALL THE MOST AESTHETICALLY PLACES HE CAN FIND

He may or may not let you take pictures of him for references as long as he can do the same with you, he's also pretty good at photography so he loves getting new picture of you with some fantastical background making you stand out so much more

Uma

Uma knew who you were when she arrived in Auradon, she'd heard your music played at cotillion

She couldn't complain about it, it wasnt her usual style but it was new and she liked that

When she had officially arrived she would notice you all around

Playing music for parties, proper events, even just around the school

Despite her not meeting you she subconsciously finds her way to you

She listens out for you whenever she can

She ends up actually meeting you thought Evie

Evie was designing everyone's outfits for a party so your fitting time overlapped into Uma's time. Uma didn't mind and in fact took the opportunity to tell you that she'd heard you around but hadn't had the chance to meet you

From then, you became quick friends.

Her feelings developed the more time she spent with you, she just loves listening to your music

She'd like to learn an instrument that would compliment your style of music so you could play together

She helps you with lyrics whenever you need the help

She first finds out that you write songs about your experiences and the people around you by looking at the lyrics for some of your songs

She finds it sweet that although you don't directly mention people, you can share the way you feel to them to those who will listen

But then she finds a song that's for her

I mean who else would it be for, she's the person you spend most of your time with and she's the pretty pirate with blue hair

She definitely looks over the lyrics and gets so giddy that she's kicking her feet with glee, when you walk in and see her smiling at the page she doesn't stop smiling

She immediately asks what you mean and when you tell her she latches onto you

Basically, she asks you out right then and there

Who are you to deny her? Of course you accept

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ───── ⊰

So sorry it took longer than I thought, and sorry Uma's part was shorter thats my dumb lil brain being dumb

[am4ura]

So I had this AU idea that is idk complicated but I need to share it somehow.

So basically what if the unit leaders / sekai owners were spirits linked to their Sekai, that in this case is more like a domain.

Leonii's instead of a school would be a space like zone. Mmj's instead of a stage would be a sky, kinda similar to the background in "hear me hopeful show" set. Empty Sekai would stay kind of the same. I haven't had any ideas for street or wonderland Sekai.

The Sekai owners (or Sekai spirits) have all characteristics relevant to their Sekai.

Ichika is mostly made of stars and nebulae. With her hair and parts of her body moving and flowing around. She also has hollow eyes that light up with little stars when she's happy.

Minori Is a mix of an Angel and a light being. She's mostly made of light, but has a projection of her body making her look kinda like a biblically accurate angel? She has lots of feathers around her body and a bandage covering her eyes (that are completely made of blinding lights)

Kohane is made of coloured smokes, like the ones of spray pain bottles. She can change colour and size based on her appearance. She can also turn herself into graffiti. She does that a lot to blend in and hide.

Tsukasa shares a lot of characteristics with an hippogryph, with mane and wings of light/fire. He also has hooves instead of feet. Like. A mix of a phoenix and a Pegasus.

Mafuyu (not kanade BC mafuyu is the Sekai owner) is very similar to a banshee. Ghostly and transparent appearance, covered in veils to hide herself and her suffering. She would also kinda look like a ragdoll, with parts of her body and face stitched together.

There are lots of legends about these sekais and Sekai spirits. It's said that if you're too passionate about something or too determined to reach a goal, you will get absorbed by one of these domains and eaten by the spirit. These Sekai spirits are also said to be lost kids with a big passion for something, but never managed to make it a thing.

So imagine the other members of the unit being so determined with their music, that one day they all wake up in this unknown unreal place and find basically a god just chilling there.

The Sekai spirits are all very lonely at the end and they just wanted someone to spend time with.

Ichika would at first be shy and try to not approach the rest of leoneed in fear of scaring them or be a burden, but in the end they would all try to make her smile and feel less lonely (Saki does the first steps), since it reminded them of their lost childhood friend.

Minori would immediately rush to get to know mmj. She gets captivated by all of them in a short time and would admire their beauty and their grace. At first mmj is kinda overwhelmed by this bright (eheh) presence, but they quickly start to love her. Haruka in particular, finding the way this spirit talks similar to the way one of her fans would write her letters.

Kohane would at first hide, scared of people she doesn't know, but would then slowly introduce herself only to an. An gets immediately a big liking of her, seeing in kohane the perfect partner she kept seeing in her dreams. When kohane gains more courage she shows herself to akitoya too. I also imagine this fun scene where an and kohane are talking, then akito reaches to an, kohane disappears and akito thinks an is crazy for talking alone.

Tsukasa would try to show off as the "mighty blazing Sekai spirit" but would cringefail anyways. Wxs seems unfazed by that, actually being interested in how tsukasa matches almost perfectly the description of the main character of a famous theatre show about a fantasy world.

Mafuyu hides, but not like kohane or Ichika. She wants to be alone. She accepted her fate of being forgotten and having to suffer alone. She tries to push the other members of niigo away, but they are resilient in trying to put an end to her pain (mostly kanade) because they know the same feeling. In the end mafuyu accepts their warmth.

Uhhh idk I think that's it. Sorry for the long yap, ideas kept flowing like a river. I might try to doodle something one day.

[coffeelouis]

written for @corrodedcoffinfest

Prompt: Wrath | Word Count: 666 | Rating: M | POV: Jeff | Relationships: Steve/Eddie | CW: None | Tags: Corroded Coffin

set somewhat ambigulously in the tuesday's gone with the wind universe, mostly in stealing goodie's name and personality bc like,, that's goodie! thanks @thisapplepielife for him love you 🫶

i also made up the song name, that's not from tuesday's gone, by that point i hadn't gotten far enough to figure out i was writing steve as their tour manager and basically set it in the universe. also i had eddie as the lead singer in this, so maybe this is an au of tuesday's gone

🎸😈

“Gareth, I really think this is a bad idea, man,” Jeff warned, hovering in the doorway. Gareth and Goodie were both crouched next to the sound equipment, Goodie observing as Gareth tinkered.

“It’s precisely what they deserve.”

“Exactly, we’ve warned them multiple times,” Goodie added, ever the pot-stirrer.

“We haven’t, in any way, indicated we’d go this far. We’ve just ribbed Eddie.”

“Nagged,” Gareth corrected.

“Relentlessly. And, would you quit it with the hand-wringing, man? You’re in or you’re out of this,” Goodie said decisively.

“And it’s not as if it’s anything new!” Gareth argued, **It’s just.. a different approach.”

“It’s completely different circumstances, though! And it digs at Steve, not Eddie.”

“Digging at Steve is how to you get to Eddie.”

At the same time, Goodie countered, “Steve will be fine—he’s fine about everything.”

“He’s used to us,” Gareth agreed, reaching up to test his work.

As the sound rang out in the empty theatre, Gareth let out a crow of victory, and Jeff felt his stomach sour.

“I really don’t feel good about this.”

“You don’t have to take credit then,” Gareth smirked, dusting his knees off and walking off in triumph to get ready for the show.

Goodie followed behind him, looking similarly smug—despite having contributed absolutely nothing.

🎸😈

Eddie had fought to play “The Harvest” towards the end of the setlist. It was a hard-fought battle when they’d begun this leg of the tour, Gareth argued it should be the opener. But, it was third to last, so Eddie was dripping in sweat and probably a little delirious by the time Jeff went in with the opening chords. He could see the man swaying around his microphone, his long hair falling into his eyes.

He figured that’s why it took him until the end of the second chorus to look up in confusion. Jeff quickly began watching his chords—as if they weren’t muscle memory by this point.

Gareth’s smirk gave the game away—that the backing track was not the pre-recorded moans that accompanied the song on it’s studio version; instead, Steve’s high-pitched moans that had leaked through the hotel walls nights earlier filled the venue.

Fury erupted across Eddie’s face. He stomped across the stage towards Gareth—guitar still in hand, and somehow still playing.

Jeff glanced behind him for backup from the crew, the stagehands, anyone. Instead, he saw Steve, a bright laugh inaudible, but clearly dancing across his face. His eyes were glittering with the creative wrath of the band.

Jeff, who’d seen him sternly lecture stagehands for incorrectly setting up equipment or tell off venue staff for stupid production mistakes, was surprised, but relieved at the reaction. It was an interruption to their planned schedule, and more than that an airing of an intimate moment; but, he supposed when it came to Eddie—or really, any of the band—he really did hold a soft spot.

Eddie was now standing at Gareth’s side, uselessly telling him off. Gareth certainly couldn’t hear him over his drum set, let alone the music the rest of them (Eddie included) were still playing. But Eddie continued on at it, over singing the next verse.

Jeff kicked his leg out at him, hoping to get this show back on the road—literally. They were approaching the next chorus and the moans coming in again; without Eddie to sing over them, they would be even more pronounced.

Eddie finally noticed, and abandoned Gareth to kick back at him, fighting before realizing that he was in fact signaling him to look off-stage at Steve, now waving and smiling at him. Eddie lost all fight, smiling back.

Jeff felt like he was invading on a moment to be watching as Steve rolled his eyes and jerked his head to the mic, telling Eddie to keep going. Eddie laughed too, and ducked bashfully back towards the front of the stage, chastened. He blew a kiss, Steve caught it.

Yeah, his bandmates were silly and vengeful, but they put on a damn good show.

[milkbreadtoast]

still on my reread of early twsb and... the inn mini arc is so good/important... i didnt realize how much when i first read... but like... (ch 46 thoughts IM PLAGUED BY THE #YESSAYS AGAIN)

the MC trio's personalities are all SO diff and up till now theyve had a lot of friction and only rly interacted together bc they were kind of forced to... But despite their stark diffs one of the main thing that unites them is they all have the same strong moral compass... like their morals r in alignment. They all can't stand seeing injustice... and their diff personalities give them diff approaches to solving the (same) problem; diff strengths filling in what the other lacks... but they have the same goal/their hearts r in the same place... I rly think this is the strongest thing that binds them together🥹 theyre all good kids...

This inn mini arc is the first time the MC trio r all united in thought and working together completely of their own volition (while they showed teamwork before, it was still in situations where they were basically forced to be together, e.g. training lessons or punishment)

But here they witness the same event and they all feel the same rage at the injustice and put aside their differences to make a plan...

yeseo's had a lot of misunderstandings/misreadings of cedric's behavior and saw him p unfavorably up to this point but thats slowly starting to change... im just gonna drop some liveblogs here skfjd

(+ u wouldnt think much of it but the fact that he observes they all make the same expression "at the same time" means he's glancing at each of their faces...)

the fact that hes constantly checking cedric's reactions + trying to read what he's thinking/feeling in the moment... yeseo's empathy is 1 of his strongest traits imo and this an example of how he extends this to everyone (including the guy who he has thought of as a huge jerk all this time + is trying to avoid)

(and this is something I RLY rly love about yeseo... even w ppl he tries not to get close to/doesnt particularly like he still cant help but empathize with them? like even way before this when he concludes cedric must be entering the tournament to help his "son" who is in pain... and reasons that he must feel angry seeing chris freely mooch off yeseo's ether bc his "son" suffers from ether depletion... and when the 3 are assigned to clean the portal as punishment, and he's waiting outside w ced... notes that "he looks serious even from the side" and blurts without thinking "um... it will be okay, your royal highness." "...i am talking about Sadie." all these are examples of him extending empathy to cedric/thinking of him sympathetically (even tho he has the wrong idea)... He doesn't have to, but he does anyway, because that's the kind of person he naturally is... I really do think his strong empathy is 1 of his most prominent chara traits. 🥹❤️‍🔥)

🥹... this moment is rly cute skfjsn but yet again!! another small ex of him trying to understand what cedric is thinking on some lvl and relate/connect w him (EVEN THO ITS ALL SUBCONSCIOUS... AND HES THINKING THIS IN LIKE A LIGHTHEARTED JOKEY WAY... STILL TRUE)

(^the fact that he describes how cedric's eyes look means that he looked over & checked cedric's reaction in this moment, even tho ced didn't give a verbal rxn like himself & christelle...)

^^^^^🥹🥹🥹..!!!! AAAAH... also i talked mostly abt cedyes here but he definitely grows closer w christelle bc of this too (and the 3 of them as a whole)... and again its bc their morals r in alignment here + he's starting to understand what kind of ppl they r... but its ESP important w cedric bc he never rly thought of chris as a bad person? but up till even just the day before he's thought of cedric as being a huge asshole... witnessing all these tiny little moments that together signal a (gradual) turning point in how he views cedric makes me WANT TO FUCKING SCREAMMM AAAA!!!! AAAAAAAAH.

[callieponders]

Okay. So. The Candy Jams episode, Girl Fest. I have so many thoughts on it, good and bad. This is gonna be another long thoughts post, so let's get into it. (Under the read more because this is Really Long)

On principle there isn't a bad message here, in fact, to this day it still has relevancy. Plenty of female singers playing faux feminist when they are more than willing to put other women that work alongside them down in order to raise themselves up, rather than trying to cultivate a good community, especially in regards to younger fans. This is definitely not new, same in regards to male singers that promote toxic masculinity to their own audiences.

My issues stem from, of course, the usual "errrrm, isn't it funny how we act uncertain if Laney is a GIRLLLLL, lawl!" ass humor. Like god that shit is garbage I'm glad we mostly phased that type of shit out. Yuck.

Not just that, of course, that's more of a Grojband, "this is from the real early 2010's" issue in general. I also take issue with the approach it takes touching upon the whole "this idol can't actually be trusted" thing. I understand it's watered down to be a little easier to understand, babies first feminism and all, as well as it being a little more niche in the addition that it's someone proclaiming to be all punk rock while in reality being a poser. That isn't a problem in theory, but in practice, I definitely think it came out clunky...

Which message wise, is a little rough. However, it actually comes off as a much more interesting character read of one of the most important characters, Laney, and even TRINA to an extent.

To understand what I mean, we gotta go down the list of things we find out about Candy Jams first. Keep in mind she is promoted to be this 16 year old (assuming she's the same age as the other older teenagers in the show bc it'd be weird if not since she dated nick) punk chick who doesn't take crap from anyone, acting condescending towards the male members of Grojband, and even going as far as to tell Trina she needs to be in charge of her own feelings— "You should be the voice of your own soul, girl!"

Candy Jams appears calm and collected about Nick. She even says she broke things off with him for making her too soft. This is shown not to be the case almost immediately, as while they're not dating, she clearly still has an infatuation for him.

Secondly, it's revealed she's very enthusiastic about clothes. I know, what a revelation, but keep in mind being fashion crazy is often a stereotype used negatively against women as a means of calling them shallow.

Her lyrics are written by her manager, who is an adult male (the adult part really isn't important unfortunately, because I feel like it should've been).

Finally, she says that lyrics with harder words in them make her head hurt (she calls it brain ouchie btw), which is... I guess it's calling her stupid? Not as smart and a thinker that she says she is? I mean, common thing to say to indicate a character is dense, but it just feels weird to tack on. I guess it enhances the fact she doesn't write her own lyrics since she says the last song he wrote had too many hard words for her to sing.

Alright, so, we went down the list... now, there is like... so much to unpack. First off, I don't dislike the ideas here, I definitely don't, because all these things show hypocrisy in Candy Jams branding (except maybe 4 that might just be like, her being a teenager still learning things lmao). It's a pretty classic "don't meet your heroes" situation for Laney, who looked up to her, now feeling shattered because she did not live up to expectation. However, what kills it for me is the already present misogyny shown in Grojband consistently.

Laney is misgendered for comedy constantly because she doesn't present herself as traditionally feminine, nor acts traditionally feminine. Like. It kind of bitters the damn message if you go "respect women in rock, unless it's funny, then don't" in the episode about... recognizing female talent in the rock scene and criticizing the posers sending bad faith messages to their younger audience.

However, despite all this, this episode is REALLY good to dig into Laney's character, and additionally, Trina's, as they both are fans of Candy Jams.

Laney herself is shown to be infatuated with Corey, not to the extent Trina is with Nick, but regardless of that she holds a massive spark for him. We can often see it in her face how she feels about Corey, finding herself at a loss of words when he gets as much as near her at times. She's also into extremely hyper-feminine things, decorating her room with frills and being into things that she would otherwise roll her eyes at— in secret.

So, in other words... she's a poser. She does the exact same things that Candy Jams does, if not being worse for doing it, as she calls Candy Jams out for her behaviors while doing the exact same thing to an even YOUNGER audience. Let's not forget that Grojband's two groupies are young, elementary school aged girls. Laney is just as much an influence to them as Candy Jams is.

Now, am I saying exactly that she's a poser? Not really, no, but you get what I'm saying in pointing out the fact she has far more in common with Candy Jams than she would be comfortable with. It's most certainly due to internalized misogyny at that, especially in a scene that doesn't recognize or respect female voices to begin with unless they denounce anything feminine, either about themselves or other women— Corey himself had to be shown that "lady rock" is in fact, legit.

Keep in mind this is during the early 2010's, so it isn't the same situation now as then exactly, and I'm definitely not saying critique towards traditionally feminine culture isn't valid. It ABSOLUTELY is, but this isn't about criticizing it, Candy Jams AND Laney both outright hide the parts of themselves that enjoy it. Candy Jams because she's an industry plant, and Laney because of her shame in indulging in it at all. Maybe Laney saw herself in Candy Jams a little too much, and was deeply ashamed of what she saw, due to previously having projected herself onto Candy Jams's exterior persona.

Now, where does Trina come into play? Well, similar to Laney, she hides parts of herself that are more vulnerable to others, parts she is ashamed of. She's an intellectual, both with math, literature, and writing. Her being adept with writing is, admittedly, if you count her diary being so well written it can be used as lyrics for songs that in universe, are GREATLY well received. Unfortunately, due to nerd culture being shown as undesirable, ESPECIALLY for/towards women, she only indulges in academic pursuits covertly as an entirely different persona. Additionally, she changed her name just to fit her new mean girl, cute and popular chick lifestyle, and with it her kindness.

Like Laney, she too saw herself in Candy Jams, specifically in her songs. She found herself spoken to in regards to her love for Nick Mallory in one of her songs (and Laney likely did as well), and was equally upset when Candy Jams revealed it WAS about Nick. It made her feel like she didn't own her own feelings, which is something that is far more devastating for Trina than you'd think on a base level alone. She HAS to be in control of her own feelings, she has literally hand carved herself into the person she is today by regulating exactly what she feels, how she conducts herself, and who she hangs out with.

Makes you wonder how she'd feel if she knew that Corey was using her feelings to make his songs.

All in all, though, this episode is pretty surface level and not even the worst I've seen, it's definitely one of the more interesting Grojband episodes. For a feminist message? It somewhat does it's job, especially for 2013. I, for one, think it does an even better job at looking into the thoughts and feelings of the two most important female characters of the show.

[ninemelodies]

i think planet of the oods has some of my favorite ten & donna interactions like. it starts out with donna being SO excited and a little nervous about being on an alien planet for the first time and ten sharing that no, that feeling never really goes away, not even for him, and that’s what he keeps traveling.

and then they get outside and it’s freezing and the doctor is still rambling bc he’s so excited that donna is so excited. and he turns around and she’s gone back inside to get a coat. she makes fun of the TARDIS, again. and oh, theh bicker back and forth about her coat for a little bit but they’re having fun and laughing as they trek across the snow.

until. they find an ood dying. now the doctor knows who these creatures are, but donna has no idea. the only alien she’s met has been the doctor (and the racnoss) and the doctor looks human, acts mostly human, but this. this is something completely different. and she reacts that way, falling back on old human prejudices. she calls the ood an it and comments on how different it is.

and the doctor just. redirects her, with “donna, not now,” and “he’s an ood, and he’s a he, not an it.”and donna learns. and the doctor asks her to comfort delta-50 and she does! no questions asked. she tells him her name and about the doctor and that the doctor is here to help, and she shows no fear in approaching this ood that just SNARLED at her, just so she can close his eyes so he can rest peacefully.

and then. she turns around and tells the doctor he’s full of shit for saying that the last thing controlling the ood was literally satan. and the doctor doesn’t correct her. (not think i think it would’ve mattered if he HAD) and then the doctor let’s her ramble when he’s showing off the physic paper. sure, he’s giving her a look that screams “shut up, you’re making it worse. please stop.” but donna already told him once he wouldn’t be telling her to be quiet.

and then they get assigned married by the marketing lady.

and then that whole marketing meeting with the doctor looking vaguely unimpressed and donna just listening and then. donna being SO mind-blown about being in 4126 and about the fact that humans have survived so long and spread so far. and she asks, “we’re everywhere. is that a good thing, or a bad thing?” and the doctor tells the truth, “sometimes, i wonder.” and then they see how many ood distribution centers there are and donna’s next question is “don’t the ood get a say in this?” and donna asks! she talks to the ood, she knows there’s no way they were born like this and she wants to know how they feel about it.

but then they have that conversation in the container. the doctor reminds donna that all-in-all, this isn’t so different from her time, to which donna vehemently disagrees. “who do you think made your clothes,” the doctor shoots back. and donna has to know he’s right, at least a little bit, but she gets onto him for it.

“is that why you keep humans around?” she asks, “not so you can show them the wonders of the universe, but so you can take cheap shots?” and the doctor apologizes, and donna tells him don’t because she knows he’s right, but he won’t talk to her like that, and then she calls him spaceman, because she’s not angry with him like that.

and then in the warehouse, she gets locked in that shipping container with all those ood and she’s so frightened. and the doctor knows that she’s okay as soon as he hears her yelling, and he drags his feet to get the guards to stop and open the container. he tells them that they better let her out of they’ll be on the receiving end of donna’s ire.

but as soon as she gets out and confirms that she’s safe and the doctor’s safe, her next question is about the ood. “never mind me,” she says. “what about them?”

then with the solana, donna wants so much to believe that the people of earth wouldn’t stand for this if they knew how the ood were being treated, but the solana says the same thing as the doctor. “i didn’t ask.” “they don’t ask.” and it’s all the same thing and donna knows it even though she hates it.

and then the doctor gives solana the chance to help. to be the person who asks and to stand up and make a change and she doesn’t. and the doctor and donna are so disappointed, but they have work to do.

through this the doctor can hear the ood song, even if he’s not paying attention. and it’s got to be so sad and awful to deal with, yet he does it alone. and when the doctor asks, donna agrees to hear it, and he warns her how sad it is. and she listens anyway, and it overwhelms her, and she asks him to take it away and he does and she apologizes for not being strong enough, for not standing with him, because she knows and says as much that he can hear it all the time.

then they learn what the company is doing and they’re both so angry, so upset. donna understands what it means that the company is cutting off the ood hindbrain, and she realizes that the universe and time and space isn’t as grand as she made it out to be. it’s just as terrible as she told him it was originally. and she says she wants to go home, and the doctor looks so upset.

and then they get captured together. locked to a pole at the mercy of the company. and donna is the one who realizes that the ood weren’t born to serve, they weren’t going willingly without protest, it was that the ood were docile creatures. they HAD to be because they are born with their brain in their hand.

even as they’re trying to escape they’re bickering. because donna is scared and sometimes that what she does when she’s scared. but the doctor takes it in stride. they find the main ood brain, and together, the doctor and donna confirm what is happening and what needs to happen.

and when mr. halpen has a gun and is pointing it at them, the doctor makes sure to pull donna behind him, out of the way.

this post got so long but i care them SO MUCH they way they show affection through bickering and the way they bounce off each other like that and the way donna is so much smarter and brilliant and kind and compassionate than she believes herself to be, even when she hides it under her crass facade.

[tinystepsforward]

been on t (oral gelcaps) for a couple months now and it's been wild. i knew going onto it that i didn't want to go """all the way""" or whatever, that i wanted to see what it would do and how i felt on it! and mostly: i feel good. i feel more like a dyke than ever, and i have less pain than ever (which the endo and i did suspect would happen, bc t is good for a lot of connective tissue issues and orthostatic and/or circulatory issues). but it's still just like... wild?

i think if i was trying to pass as fast as possible i'd experience quite a lot more anxiety about the process. but instead i've watched myself stay someone i recognize, and despite accidentally being on a much higher dose than i thought i was on (my body metabolises the oil in the capsules better than it's supposed to, apparently), the changes have been slow enough that i've been able to see them coming. i wake up in the morning surprised that my voice is still dropping. i sing, at least a little in the shower, every day and every day the notes that are comfortable change. my passagio changes, the places my voice wheezes into silence changes.

my weak mezzo-soprano is now a weak tenor that brings me wonderful joy every time i realize i can sing mountain goats songs or my favorite musical pieces in the right octave. i find myself more able than ever to articulate myself eloquently in zoom calls, and less fatigued after them. it turns out that despite not really ever thinking of myself as voice dysphoric, something's been lifted off my shoulders anyway. my body's changing in shape just a little, belly and shoulders filling out, butt less bubbled, and while i was anxious about that (i love my hourglass figure!), it's becoming clear to me that at least a little of that anxiety came from spending the entirety of my adult life sex working.

i look different in photographs now, in some unquantifiable way. my eyebrows have filled out. my breasts are just a tiny bit smaller, in a way that means, with my new belly and my sudden ability to push past my past weightlifting records, that i look dykey in the most wonderful way in a sports bra or ribbed tank. i took a picture today and for the first time saw in the sunlight on my jaw and the tendons of my neck a shape i didn't know i had been missing. i realised that actually, i don't miss the bits of my hourglass figure that i've lost a little! that my vanity wasn't hung on that specific image of myself. just on me, looking like me. feeling like me. approaching the version of me that i'm happy with now, mostly retired from sw and having nobody to dress for but myself: a lesbian, low-voiced and femme and visibly queer, moving and speaking with the grace that comes from comfort in their body.

i have no idea how long i'll stay on t. it's been a wild couple of months for other reasons, and i do think i want to switch methods and to a dose that's a little lower than i have now. but i'm feeling good about it, right now! i'm feeling like it's another part of finding out who i am, testing the boundaries of what it means to be me, and coming out stronger. i wish for the same for any and all of you, that you have the chance to do that if you want to.

[twelvedaysinaugust]

To me personally, it’s pretty clear that they aren’t together right now and probably haven’t been since at least 2020. I was kinda going back and forth especially when Louis tour began last year. But since then I have seen maybe like 2 or 3 things that seemed to imply maybe they are still in contact or even together. But right now I’m pretty sure they aren’t. How do you feel about it? I do think they are in contact tho just like with the other boys, probably more than that but that’s just what I believe. I remember how we were talking on this blog last year around this time :). Taking everything that happened in 2022 into account it’s crazy to me how so many things at the time were exciting and felt like would be going somewhere but looking back on them now they seem either insignificant or silly.

Whatever the case might be. In my opinion they do play into it. Not a lot. I think mostly it might just be my confirmation bias. But his frequent interaction with Larry stuff on tour certainly isn’t. I’m very interested if that’s something he will continue to do this year. It’s the only reason why I haven’t left ‚larry town“ entirely, yet :) it’s just too interesting. im so comfortable and in peace with fandom at the moment, it’s nice to just observe things without letting it impact my mood. Originally I told myself I would just leave in January 2023 if until then there’s no legitimate reason to stay here. But I just changed my approach to fandom and the way I look at things and now it’s just peaceful and healthy and I love it so I will stay here, especially because I enjoy reading your blog. You would probably be surprised at how many asks have come from the same person especially in the beginning of last year haha. I have unfollowed most Larry blogs since then bc they were too exhausting to read and engage with. Probably the best decision i made bc I rarely share any Larry beliefs. But I love this little corner here, so unbothered and a little left out but you seriously have the best takes and the best anons and the smartest responses to fandom chatter or drama. A true gem.<3 no pressure to respond to this btw! just had write this down bc I spent so much time with your blog throughout last year and it was and is always a joy.

What a lovely ask. I do tend to think there's some kind of ongoing (romantic) relationship between Harry and Louis, but I have no idea what that looks like. I don't think it looks anything like what most Larries think it does. I also think it changes from time to time, but whether that's because of Harry and Louis' own feelings about each other or just their careers and schedules, I don't know. I also think it's entirely possible that they're not together anymore and I think that's a perfectly respectable position. For me, there are always long periods where I don't have much reason to think they're together, but then one thing here or there makes me rethink that. I recognize that I could be wrong, but I don't think I'm wrong about Harry and Louis being romantically involved at one point in time. So for now, I'm very happy in my little corner of the fandom, and if I was to change my opinion on Larry, I don't think it would majorly affect the way I blog or engage with fandom at this point.

I'm happy that you've found a way to navigate fandom that feels easy and enjoyable. 💕

[jkgnggj]

Love talking Abt tori's background I've done it a million times and will do it a million more it's just so interesting and there's so much unknowns grr

It def looks like tori's parents neglect him I doubt they even actually "raised" him since they're so hands off and absent in his life and hardly mentioned by him ever. The only time he mentions his old man is to boast Abt his "connections" like with the occult club thing where they were gonna stay at like an abandoned or empty temple or sum. Or when Tori boasts about his background saying he was born in a temple / comes from a temple family etc but I think he only says that to give himself more credibility bc of the whole everyone thinking he's crazy bc he says he can see ghosts shit.

Also from what we do know of his parents, we've only heard Abt his dad not his mom so I like to hc she's outta the picture (either deceased or just not there yk) tho I used to just hc he was an orphan dropped off there and taken in by the monks / head monk or something. Anyways, his dad is mentioned by the monks having said to be strict with Tori or "take care" of him and that's pretty much it, super vague. For all we know it isn't endearing or sweet it's controlling especially bc if the monk's idea of taking care of him is being strict and stuff then maybe Tori had a really strict and rigid daily routine and life growing up in the temple. I mean if his punishment is always gonna be fasting for a certain amount of days then I imagine he'd probs behave most of the time which is why he's well mannered or takes a traditional approach to some things (I think someone once questioned how odd it was he called kusuo saiki-san, like who taught him manners). Also his other temple the one he was probably raised in doesn't look like it had pretty memories considering the fact when he was threatened to be sent back there again he caved and did as he was told or whatever. Or maybe he didn't like the thought of being separated from his master and the cute girls at pk who hate his fucking guys who knows ☠️

And lastly Abt the "he's not a bad person" yes ur totally right I completely agree !! He isn't a bad person. He's got some bad habits and says and does some inappropriate shit but he's not that much of a scumbag as he's made out to be. He's actually a pretty sweet guy even tho he pretends not to be. Tho he only shows the better innocent parts of him he hides to ghosts and saiki. Like that one time he helped an "evil" ghost with the occult club. His lil mom speech was so cute I loved it so much lol! Mom friend toritsuka?! He also has this hatred for humans and like men specifically (maybe he has a dad complex? Or a monk complex? Since he's probably mostly and only been around men his entire life esp if his mom wasn't in the picture). So maybe that men hating attitude has something to do with past trauma who knows there could be so much to unpack. And as for me, I like to believe his hypersexualness / "porn addiction" is like some sort of coping mechanism or something similar. I said this in another post like a long time ago but I think it has to do with his sense of longing to *feel* what love is, to love and be loved. The closest thing he has to work on is lust or pleasure bc those are attributed to physical feelings that are closely related to love but not quite the same thing but it's as close as he'll ever get. I mean he's got mommy and daddy issues he was probably never hugged or held in his entire fucking life, it's no wonder he'd be craving physical affection and love and that twists itself into perversion. Also I imagine he's so obsessed with physical touch and being intimate because of the whole can't touch ghosts thing. Maybe the touching that was his coping mechanism for his powers became the reason he became so disliked, bc ppl started thinking ew gross pervert and it just stuck and in order to cope with that he just had to go with it and keep seeking stimulation.

thinking about toritsuka and his family bc i have so many things to say about it. we know that he has father but he seems to be more concerned about his temple things rather than his son. and it seems like he needs toritsuka just as another person to work in the temple or smth else. also uhh

this panel makes me think a lot especially that "your father told us to be strict with you". and we know nothing about his mother and i hc that she's dead but idk idk.

so toritsuka was born and raised in the temple and it looks like he had a very strict upbringing and to my mind this made him what he is now. like all his interest in porn and other seems more as a some kind of protest or an effort to feel the freedom he has never had before. i suppose that in reality he may be not that interested in this, it's just something that was forbidden and now he has access to it.

he doesn't know how to normally behave in society, apparently he wasn't taught this. in my view he's not a bad person, he just had this... unusual childhood and that's why he formed all his stupid habits and interests. ofc that doesn't justify some of his actions but still i love him sm and i don't see him as a bad person at all

[a-wild-things-rambles]

hi the post above finaly got me to wright down alot of my thoughts to do with john and the community's hes been part of and how that affects him [through my eyes as a younger person in alot of the same community's, looking at the people who have lead similar lives- minus the occult stuff[mostly]] its long but there is a tldr

[for context my tags on the post: #especialy “John wouldn’t probably own a bisexual flag ever or have any pride memorabilia”#that really made something click im my mind for john#alot of they way i approach john is through the lens of an old punk#idk how to explain but you have these people that are subtely off from the norm but normal people cant quite put a finger on#and you could never tell from looking that they say go to all the protests and riots and sing for the tories to die#theres people who wear it proudly#and people who hide it because of others reactions#or just cause its personal and not strangers buisness#i feel john grew up with people having enough reasons to put him down. hes not handing them more#but also theres a difference between pride in part of your identity and showing other ppl and strangers it#some stuff is very personal- im p out and proud queer but there are some other apects of my identity that im very proud of#but dont want to shout from the rooftops#cause its personal#and i think thats how john feels about his bisexuality#its part of him and i dont think he hates it#but its just. a part of him#sorry for the long tags tldr your right and i hadent thought about it like that but it makes alot of sense#john constantine]

I always feel it’s important to look at the character and the history, and not ascribe newer ideas and things to older characters- i think there is a lot of value in looking at how john would approach it differently than lot of people now- especially looking through the groups has been part of, the people I know like john [northern, working class, dysfunctional family situations, bounced around alternative groups and subcultures] sexuality isn’t really a big thing? people are accepting of queer people but. it’s just not a thing that’s announced, gender roles are being broken by most people anyway and there’s just this acceptance and disregard of labels that tends to come from being in the mixed community of all types of people who have all had millions of different labels - I found out that two of the people I consider my aunts are both bisexual cause my mum was joking about how they can pick anyone but neither have had a long term relationship. it’s just so casual, you love who you love, and you are who you are and it’s not really anyone’s business- i found out an old friend of both my parents was a trans woman- unfortunately I never met her before she passed- but I wasn’t told until years after I came out as trans because it wasn’t a big thing, just one part of the identity of an old friend. I think it’s hard for a lot of queer people to see someone talk about 'oh we don’t care about the labels' and how it’s not that important, but the way it is now and was seems to be the true ideal of that idea- no one cares about the labels- if they turn you down they turn you down, if they correct the pronouns they have corrected the pronouns, "be who you wanna be do who you wanna do". You’re the captain of your fate.

I mentioned bouncing around groups and labels, and it’s something I see a lot of irl and very much informs my view of john, I am part of a community of people who have all been through different subcultures and groups- rude boys and metalheads and hippies and punks and travellers- all having stood against the mainstream but found no one label fits them. most of the people I have met at the gatherings have very complex identities- rude boy to punk to post punk- hippie to punk and so on, the mixing and combining of subcultures to make something that’s the best of all the things you love and are- I know we talk a lot with john about him being punk/expunk- but he was a hippie for a while and has been part of many subcultures- to view him as a binary- punk and then post that, seems reductive- I know these days people have ideas more solid borders on subcultures, you’re a punk or a goth, rude boy or hippie- disregarding the long history of people being part of both or multiple groups- and the groups that form from those overlaps. so yea I think it important to acknowledge that john has been part of many subcultures and that informs him- especially the identity issues due to not being wholly one thing, it’s why my community is great- no one is simple, it always a mix- folk and punk, ska and folk, dub sets played on fiddles and banjos- it’s about celebrating our defences, and coming together in our differences to appreciate and celebrate the complexities and contradictions of others, and the things that come from that. one love and all that.

we are the sum of our experiences- and we should celebrate that!

but it comes to a point where you get tired of breaking down all the influences and your just you. are you punk? are you buy? are you a rude boy/girl? are you gender queer? you get tired of the labels and boxes and are just you- after all YOU are the sum of your experiences. other people can look at you and try an analyze you but that’s their thing- your you and the labels that used to matter don’t as much- your comfortable being you, you like some of the music some people do and some music others do- you dress like this but also like that. labels and trying to be a certain thing can get tiring, it’s easier to just be you. it’s a long road to get there- and a hard one to- but as much as I revel in being part of a group of people with the same experiences as me- it can get tiring having the only parts of my identity they engage with be the part we share- god knows I’ve made lots of friends through queer solidarity but sometimes I want to be me not the labels, to be looked at in three dimensions, its why there is a community of people whose best answer to most questions is 'it’s complicated'

ok that ran away from me but that’s why I think johns identity is complex and his queerness isn’t a big thing he shows of.

tldr: often people who go from subculture to subculture trying to find something that fits them get to old and tired to make themselves into the latest thing and no longer can be asked to care about labels and end up content being them and if u wanna try and break them down into all the separate identities then that’s your thing but it’s a bit weird mate. And that’s why I agree that johns not loud about his bisexuality.