#i had never seen an out queer person ever
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I saw the tv glow is absolutely great, and I will have to rewatch it to truly grasp the layers but did you all notice the buffy homages
The font
The sapphic under/overtones & the left ones names are Tara in both shows
AMBER BENSON (TARA) CAMEO
Buffy has tons of nightclub/concert scenes. I know they weren't dancing and having fun in i saw the tv glow but it was shot and made in such a similar way, it almost felt more like a nod than seeing amber benson
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And the setting in the 90s, obv
I'm sure there was more, I only just watched it for the first time
It felt wonderful seeing the power of what buffy as a show did for queer people in the 90s and beyond celebrated like that. It sure changed my life
#btvs#i saw the tv glow#i mostly didn't grow up in the nineties and was about 10 years too late for buffy#but i found it anyway#and even though it was like 2012 by then tara and willow were still such a revelation for me (i was 17)#there weren't any queer people in my life#i had never seen an out queer person ever#i had barely seen them on tv either and certainly not in such a big way as buffy was doing it#and they were doing the whole thing you need as a queer teen to connect to it#i didn't know i was trans then i didn't know anything i just knew that willow and tara made me cry and that mattered
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so did you guys know theres this character called tristan vik disventure camp and
#disventure camp#disventure camp fanart#tristan vik#disventure camp tristan#ghostofsnails#my art#It would be SO tedious to post all of these separately but to be honest ive been dead for so long that i think its just funnier like this#like. yeah. just in case you guys have been wondering what i've been up to.#I have like 2 more i think but i'll give them their own post so i can explain them#ive never hyperfixated on a character like this in my entire life. usually a character hyperfix is super intense and lasts like 2ish weeks.#GUYS ITS BEEN 2+ MONTHS. AND I STILL CANT THINK ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR CARTOON GOTH NONBINARY SILLY PERSON#actually fuck you can i write an essay in tags about why i love them. this is tumblr. and whose even gonna read this anyways. fukit we ball#i followed dc kinda casually as a guilty pleasure for a while but i was instantly drawn to tristan when the designs for the s4 cast dropped#i was like You're telling me there's a GOTH who is UPBEAT and isnt designed like a flawless elf TWINK and is NONBINARY? ME FR????#LIKE OHH THE GOTH NB GETS TO LOOK A LITTLE WEIRD. THEY GET TO BE UNCONVENTIONAL. my aesthetic attraction to them goes crazy. vampire style.#i remember when they got revealed people redesigned them to look more generically pretty & it PAINED ME bc it missed the point SO. BADLY.#ik some people find them boring also & even tho i disagree i can see it if u dont rlly care abt alt stuff. but for me the fact theyre so#kind & upbeat & extroverted WHILE being a SUBCULTURAL GOTH is the draw bc while i do get a kick out of the exaggerated depressed goth#stereotype - its not exactly true to life and so seeing a character that looks and acts like me and real goths makes feel so seen and happy#they also capture my desire to have goth friends SO BADLY im projecting on them SO HARD. They are such top tier friend material you guys...#AND THEYRE A FASHION DESIGNER WHICH FEELS SO IN THEME WITH BEING GOTH THAT IT MAKES ME SO JOYOUS AND CRAZY.#its all so funny because im 100x more excited about getting good goth rep than nonbinary rep LMFAOOO but them being nb is SO important too#Not to mention their voice actor is FANTASTIC and elevates them SOOO MUCH. Also the amount the va is obsessed with them fed my obsession -#sooo insanely you guys.... i feed off of other peoples emotional attachments. AND THEIR ACTING FOR TRIS ADDS SO MUCH DEPTH TO THEIR#CHARACTER IF YOU LOOK FOR IT. I COULD LITERALLY WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT TRISTAN YOU GUYS. IM NOT INSANE.#god you guys this is the first time ive ever had a genuine âi feel seenâ feeling from a fictional character I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE NOW.#i LOVE NONBINARY PEOPLE EXPRESSING THEMSELVES. I LOVE HOW QUEERNESS AND GOTH CULTURE INTERSECTS AND HOW THATS REPRESENTED IN TRISTAN#THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. AND I KNOW THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE. WHICH JUST MAKES THEM MEAN EVEN MORE TO ME. I LOVE LIFE.#its an endless feedback loop i fear. im trapped in it & loving every second. i will be drawing them until i am in my grave & maybe after.
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So, my laptop is covered with stickers, as it tends to happen. And some of them have the ace flag because yes. Which causes some very interesting interactions.
At first it felt like a mistake since: sure, I was a cool kid at college but if I had to get my pc out while at an aunt's or other family members' house it felt like having a target đŻ that allowed people to either pry into my life or be homophobic.
But then I realized old people in my family aren't that nosy nor do they immediately recognize horizontal lines as flags so I've been fine.
However, whenever my queer cousin shows up I panic because despite him being gay I can imagine him being acephobic.
So anyway, the lessons is:
That I should have fun decorating my laptop because at the end of the day if someone wants to be homophobic they will, regardless of anything.
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#tbf at first I probably put ace stickers cause everyone had queer stickers and I felt left out#but just one of this days I was thinking that#yeah sure being ace is weird however having ace stickers might be even weirder(?#let me explain#if someone has a lesbian flag stickers people will go âoh that person likes womenâ#and that's it#it's understood that the person could date an be romantic with a woman#however and ace sticker sort of brings the topic of sex to the table#and being ace that's the one think you didn't wanna talk about#so it's all very awkward...#idk#that's probably just my experience and interpretation of it#at the end of the day the colors are pretty and they match the vibe#I do have thought of changing them and focusing on collecting aroace stickers#but ngl never have I ever seen one in person#for starters I've barely even seen aro stickers#so... yeah#also can we appreciate how pretty my laptops is? she has so much personality I love her
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Really into the episode of Ouran where this girl confesses her love to Mori but he doesnât feel the same because heâs into Honey and the girlâs reaction is just like YIPPEE I LOVE YAOI THATS SO COOL FOR YOU YAY đ„°
#the klock keeps ticking#ouran high school host club#i watched ouran when i was 13 and repressed ah the classic experience yes yes#and i always said id rewatch but never did. until now cuz im going through something#im like halfway through and yeah id say theres quite a lot that ages like milk lol#like mostly just the way haruhi is treated is just. bad lol#a good thing is i like how haruhi personally feels about their own gender where they really honestly dont fucking care#which was a big relief cuz similar cases will have the âsecret girlâ character either be really defensive#or you know. be like a naoto where its actually just the most uncomfortable thing ever#but the problem is the way that tamaki and occasionally the twins are like really obsessed with the girl thing#and constantly want haruhi to take on a feminine role cuz that wouldnt threaten their sexuality as much#tamaki in general is written so fucking weird lol and i do remember being based back then and hating him#and i never liked him with haruhi like im sorry hes just the worst option#hes capable of being funny when hes not being weird but I think he still ends up feeling horribly written#like when hes having his DRAMATIC LOVE INTEREST moments they just feel so horribly out of place#and theyre often times just badly aged tropes also the way haruhi is written in relation to the other members is weird#like i can see why theyd like the other characters but ive not really seen any reasons for them to like tamaki#but then the show will just randomly be like âoh yes haruhi thinks tamaki is a lovely personâ and its like. ooookay?#its ass lol and im probably preaching to the choir but like. haruhi is way better with a woman right?#i just know some desperate ass bastards have made some haruhi/renge content and i get it#other than that stuff i dont like i will say i enjoy what exists outside of the weird haruhi stuff#i like the characters and the concept is very funny and the episodes where everyone is normal are charming#and you know i gotta appreciate it for the impact it had on lame ass gay people even if the queer content is messy#ouran was just like. what we had for a long time. or at least was the most popular anime that featured queerness in some positive capacity#but also like. as it goes with this stuff once youve gotten to see better representation#you look back and youre like wow. im so fucking glad we can do better than this dogshit đ©
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okay but the problem is. and the reason i don't actually id as ace. is that i have. ya'know. been sexually attracted to people before. two. to be specific.
#okay so in hs i thought i was demi which ik is on the ace spectrum#but there were some flaws in that logic. those namely being. i had never actually been attracted to someone before.#in hs okay. you need to hear me out on this. in hs i was doing like. compulsive bisexuality??#i figured out i was queer but didn't know how really so i was randomly picking all sorts of crushes. not just guys like anyone.#which is why fun fact to this day i still don't know how many people i've actually ever had a crush on lmao bc i'd even lie in my diaries#but i know some of them were real but it was just like. a little romantic attraction.#and everyone i had a crush on (real or fake for the most part) i was friends w so demi whatever.#BUT THEN. 2019. the unthinkable happens. dan howell comes out and i realize i'm a dyke.#it didn't actually happen exactly in that order but it's funnier to explain it that way.#anyway. like a week later i met the second hottest person i've ever seen in my life ever.#side note i'd already met the hottest but i have Sieve Brain and i genuinely don't remember how that went at all in the slightest#so the second hottest will have to do as my point of reference forgive me#anyway before i even knew her name. Salivating. insane.#and to this day i've still only been attracted to those two people. not even celebrities.#i don't know what âcelebrity crushâ means and at this point i'm too afraid to ask.#but i feel like i'm fairly old to have only wanted to. like. fuck two people. that seems like a low number. i don't know how this works.#and it's not demi if i didn't get to know them first right?#ace people explain y'all are smarter than me real#but it literally is still like i don't understand you people and your. sex. why are you like that.#rachel rants
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I'm really sick of these takes where we're supposed to pretend art exists in a vacuum that never says anything about the artist's own worldview or reflects their problematic aspects, especially considering up until now, anybody trying to bring attention to it has been shut down and called a puritan. Like sure, you're not personally a bad person for not noticing them or not agreeing with the criticism. You can still enjoy the work for the meaning you personally imbued in it. But this drive to sanitize, whitewash and continue to silence criticisms of his work, some of them by SA victims themselves, is simply to protect the comfort of white liberals who can't stand self-interrogation or any accountability of their own biases. It's simply the same violence of privilege that allow predators to build their social cache off their work and protect it from criticism of themselves by extension. Yes, there are those trying to problematize fans of his work simply to be smug and superior, but if you don't think that that his fandom's own behaviour has been above reproach, without bias in favour of privileged white cis men and not complicit in continuing to elevate and flock to them, you're just trying to evade self-examination and accountability.
i don't really want to see this retconning of neil gaiman's writing where people are re-analyzing stories like "look...you can see the message under the surface...showing how he was actually abusive IRL...it's all there..."
idk maybe we should just listen to people when they speak up and say they were abused and try to foster a culture of respecting victims and actually enforcing justice against perpetrators instead of doing this weird fucking da vinci code-esque picking apart of his stories. stories which everyone was fine with for decades!! because we understand that the content that people write and produce does not have a 1 to 1 correlation with their real world actions!!!
i fully support people who cannot engage with his work anymore and i do think that because he's a still-living person it's imperative to not give this guy another cent, but we cannot pretend that everyone was just "too dumb" to see the secret clues and turn this into another case of "what you write is what you endorse." plenty of dogshit people write good stories. plenty of good people write dark stories. that's all.
#to be very clear I don't go here. i have only ever read Good Omens and Stardustâ I think I would have loved the rest of his work myself#I don't have any personal feelings about his work either way#but I have seen the way criticisms of both his work and his own views and behaviour has been repeatedly shut down on this site#and it's the same fucking shit as it was with Joss Whedon#WOC had been trying to call out that man's grossness since the shows were airing#we called out Rowling for years until she finally went too far by affecting white queers#there's a difference between smug moral superiority and marginalized people who have been shut down feeling vindicated#also liberals lecturing anyone else about moral condescension is HILARIOUS#this conversation absolutely requires nuance and you never develop any because you'd rather condescend to people about nuance instead#fucking infuriating#neil gaiman#fandom wank#shit liberals say#white queers#fandom racism#tumblr wank#knee of huss
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So a few months ago there was the discourse about would you rather meet a man or a bear in the woods. I didn't want to touch it while the discourse was hot and everyone dug in hard because those are not good conditions for nuance, but I waited until today, June 1st, for a specific reason.
I'm not going to take a position in the bear vs man debate because I don't think it matters. What is really being asked here is how afraid are you of men? Specifically, unexpected men who are, perhaps, strange.
People have a lot of very real fear of men that comes from a lot of very real places. Back when I was first transitioning in 2015 and 2016, I decided to start presenting as a woman in public even though I did not pass in the slightest.
I live in a red state. I knew other trans women who had been attacked by men, raped by men. I knew I was taking a risk by putting myself out there. I was the only visibly trans person in the area of campus I frequented, and people made sure I never forgot that. Most were harmless enough and the worst I got from them was curious stares. Others were more aggressive, even the occasional threat. I had to avoid public bathrooms, of course, and always be aware of my surroundings.
I know how frightening it is to be alone at night while a pair of men are following behind you and not knowing if they are just going in the same direction or if they want to start something - made all the worse for the constant low level threat I had been living under for over a year by just being visibly trans in a place where many are openly hostile to queer people. You have to remember, this was at the height of the first wave of bathroom law discussions, a lot of people were very angry about trans women in particular. My daily life was terrifying at times. I was never the subject of direct violence, but I knew trans women who had been.
I want you to keep all that in mind.
So man or bear is really the question "how afraid of men are you?", and the question that logically follows is "What if there was a strange man at night in a deserted parking lot?" or "What if you were alone in an elevator with a man?" or "What if you met a strange man in the woman's bathroom?"
My state recently passed an anti trans bathroom bill. The rhetoric they used was about protecting women and children from "strange men", aka trans women.
Conservatives hijack fear for their bigoted agenda.
When I first started presenting as a woman the campus apartment complex was designed for young families. The buildings were in a large square with playgrounds in the center, and there were often children playing. I quickly noticed that when I took my daughter out to play, often several children would immediately stop what they were doing and run back inside. It didn't take me long to confirm that the parents were so afraid of "the strange man who wears skirts" that their children were under strict instructions to literally run away as soon as they saw me.
"How afraid are you of a strange man being near your children?"
I mentioned above that I had to avoid public bathrooms. This was not because of men. It was because of women who were so afraid of random men that they might get violent or call someone like the police to be violent for them if I ever accidentally presented myself in a way that could be interpreted as threatening, when my mere presence could be seen as a threat. If I was in the library studying and I realized that it was just me and one other woman I would get up and leave because she might decide that stranger danger was happening.
Your fear is real. Your fear might even come from lived experiences. None of that prevents the fact that your fear can be violent. Women's fear of men is one of the driving forces of transmisogyny because it is so easy to hijack. And it isn't just trans women. Other trans people experience this, and other queer people too. Racial minorities, homeless people, neurodivergent people, disabled people.
When you uncritically engage with questions like man or bear, when you uncritically validate a culture of reactive fear, you are paving the way for conservatives and bigots to push their agenda. And that is why I waited until pride month. You cannot engage and contribute to the culture of reactive fear without contributing to queerphobia of all varieties. The sensationalist culture of reactive fear is a serious queer issue, and everyone just forgot that for a week as they argued over man or bear. I'm not saying that "man" is the right answer. I am saying that uncritically engaging with such obvious click bait trading on reactive fear is a problem. Everyone fucked up.
It is not a moral failing to experience fear, but it is a moral responsibility to keep a handle on that fear and know how it might harm others.
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The best hetero ships are like she's a badass bitch who needs no man, but she's got one anyway, boy's emotionally repressed but worships the ground she walks on, battle couple TM, tending to each other's wounds, taking care of each other in their most vulnerable states
#*unintelligible screeching noises*#there's a reason that i as a queer person with a long history of queer fandoms#fell for these idiots#and it's all of the above#when i first got into fandom i was fascinated by the idea of same-sex pairings because i had never seen them before#over time it's morphed into a fascination for equal relationships i guess#which are equally rare if not rarer in f/m constellations from what i've seen#my previous ship (and my first m/f ship) was twelve/river#they had a lot of these elements too but we didn't get to see that much vulnerability between them#and that is where phrack came in and gave me everything i've ever wanted out of an otp#the vulnerability thing in particular is the big one for me (i think pretty much all of my ficathon prompts reflected that ooops)#mfmm#phryne fisher#jack robinson#phrack
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I spent the last 11 months working with my illustrator, Marta, to make the children's book of my dreams. We were able to get every detail just the way I wanted, and I'm very happy with the final result. She is the best person I have ever worked with, and I mean, just look at those colors!
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I wanted to tell that story of anyone's who ever felt that they didn't belong anywhere. Whether you are a nerd, autistic, queer, trans, a furry, or some combination of the above, it makes for a sad and difficult life. This isn't just my story. This is our story.
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I also want to say the month following the book's launch has been very stressful. I have never done this kind of book before, and I didn't know how to get the word out about it. I do have a small publishing business and a full-time job, so I figured let's put my some money into advertising this time. Indie writers will tell you great success stories they've had using Facebook ads, so I started a page and boosting my posts.
Within a first few days, I got a lot of likes and shares and even a few people who requested the book and left great reviews for me. There were also people memeing on how the boy turns into a delicious venison steak at the end of the book. It was all in good fun, though. It honestly made made laugh. Things were great, so I made more posts and increased spending.
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But somehow, someway these new posts ended up on the wrong side of the platform. Soon, we saw claims of how the book was perpetuating mental illness, of how this book goes against all of basic biology and logic, and how the lgbtq agenda was corrupting our kids.
This brought out even more people to support the book, so I just let them at it and enjoyed my time reading comments after work. A few days later, then conversation moved from politics to encouraging bullying, accusing others of abusing children, and a competition to who could post the most cruel image. They were just comments, however, and after all, people were still supporting the book.
But then the trolls started organizing. Over night, I got hit with 3 one-star reviews on Amazon. My heart stopped. If your book ever falls below a certain rating, it can be removed, and blocked, and you can receive a strike on your publishing account. All that hard work was about to be deleted, and it was all my fault for posting it in the wrong place.
I panicked, pulled all my posts, and went into hiding, hoping things would die down. I reported the reviews and so did many others, but here's the thing you might have noticed across platforms like Google and Amazon. There are community guidelines that I referenced in my email, but unless people are doing something highly illegal, things are rarely ever taken down on these massive platforms. So those reviews are still there to this day. Once again, it's my fault, and I should have seen it coming.
Luckily, the harassment stopped, and the book is doing better now, at least in the US. The overall rating is still rickety in Europe, Canada, and Australia, so any reviews there help me out quite a lot. I'm currently looking for a new home to post about the book and talk about everything that went into it. I also love to talk about all things books if you ever want to chat. Maybe I'll post a selfie one day, too. Otherwise, the book is still on Amazon, and the full story and illustrations are on YouTube as well if you want to read it for free.
#books#reading#childrens books#lgbtq#lgbtqia#autism#transgender#furry#therian#art#deer#queer#artists on tumblr#creativity#illustration
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A Room of Your Own
Married!WandaNat x Reader
Summary: After getting kicked out of your college dorm, you find yourself living with two older strangers. It was never meant to be anything more than a temporary arrangement born out of necessity, but as the semester continues, something new starts to grow.
CW: Homophobia, Getting Kicked Out, Slow Burn (No sex or romance in this chapter), Age Gap
Word Count: 1.9k
A/N: Iâm back from the dead, though probably not in the way you wanted or expected. I had to take a (not so) little break from one-shots and smut for the time being for some personal reasons. But Iâm still finding ways to write and enjoy myself. Some of you probably have already seen this. Itâs been up on AO3 for a while now. But I figured Iâd post it here too.
A/N: This is my first attempt at writing any sort of slow burn, so we'll see if I can resist having them all fall into bed together in the first few chapters. I also don't know how to write an introductory chapter without making it boring as shit, so I at least made it short to spare you all. I promise it gets better.
Chapter 1 of A Room of Your Own
âââââââââââââââââââ
You sat, knees curled to your chest, on the curb in front of what used to be your dorm. It was late, a little after midnight, and absolutely pouring rain.
Three days. You had been in the dorms for three days and you had already been kicked out. Youâd expect some pushback, going to a religious college and being queer, but nothing like this. Nothing like getting kicked out of your dorm in the middle of the night because you were making your roommates uncomfortable. Youâd tried so hard to get them to like you. They seemed sweet. Not your type of people, sure, but you thought the three of you could get along just fine.
As it turns out, they were actually so repulsed by your presence they couldnât even wait until classes started to kick you to the curb. Literally.
âHey!â Somebody shouted from the doorway, holding a large umbrella. You turned to see her approaching and shrunk back in on yourself. You didnât think you could handle anymore ridicule that evening.
When you didnât respond or turn to face her, she sat down next to you, sure to cover you with the umbrella as well. She spoke softer now. âHey. Iâm sorry for what happened back there.â
You still didnât speak, but you looked at her now, partially soaked from where she was sitting next to you on the wet concrete. âIâm Yelena.â She reached her hand out for you to shake.
You shook her hand. âY/N. Nice to meet you.â You recognized her from your dorm floor, though youâd only ever seen her in passing.
âItâs nice to meet you as well,â she smiled softly. âI wish it were under different circumstances.â
You nodded, turning your gaze back to the raining night.
âDo you have anywhere to go? For tonight I mean. I would offer you to stay in my room, butâŠâ she turned back to the door of the building. You both knew you couldnât go back in there.
You shook your head. You hadnât even thought where you would stay tonight. You could always stay in your car. It wouldnât be the first night youâve slept in the backseat. Still, the sopping wet clothes would surely make for a morning full of rashes and blistered skin.
Yelena sighed, looking at the ground. She was silent for a moment before she came up with an idea. âLet me call my sister. She and her wife have a massive place not so far from here. Theyâll have a bedroom or two to spare.â
Before you could form a rebuttal of any sort, Yelena pushed the umbrella into your hands and dashed back inside. You tucked the umbrella between your leg and the crook of your arm, resting your head on your knees.
It wasnât very long before Yelena was by your side again. âOkay sheâs on her way. Sheâll be here in about 10 minutes.â
You didnât look at her, facing intentionally in the other direction. You felt so horrible. You just wanted to curl up and disappear. And now you were going to be picked and taken to the home of some random classmateâs sister? You try to formulate a response, a reason that you will be fine on your own, but there was nothing. It was either this or the back seat of your 1993 Toyota Corolla. Somehow, you bet Yelena wasnât going to take that as a reasonable explanation as to why she should call off her sister.
âAre you coming with me?â You asked weakly.
She sighed and put her hand on your back. âI wasnât planning on it, but I will if you really want me to.â
You finally turned to face her. She didnât look thrilled at the prospect of leaving. She was probably a freshman. It was her first couple days in the dorm too and everything was so new and exciting. The last thing she wanted to do was go back home with her sister.
âNo itâs okay,â you responded. The last thing you wanted was to inconvenience someone else tonight, and itâs not like a freshman you hardly knew was going to bring you much solace anyway.
She patted your back. âTheyâll take good care of you, I promise.â
Before too much longer, Yelena stood up at the sight of headlights. She waved her arms in an âover hereâ motion. The car approached Yelena, stopping hard in front of the curb you were sitting on. The tires splashed you in rainwater and mud. Yelena winched, walking back towards you to usher you into the car.
She led you to the passenger door, popping it open and peeking her head in. âThis is your girl,â she said, pointing back towards your soaked, mud covered figure. She motioned for you to sit.
You hesitated. The car looked nicer than any youâd ever been in before. The idea of ruining the nice leather seats made you want to shrink further into your ball of shame.
The woman in the driver's seat noticed your hesitation, but didnât seem the slightest bit concerned with her seat. âCome on in,â she ushered. âGet out of that rain.â
You handed the umbrella back to Yelena, reluctantly taking a seat in the car. Yelena peaked her head back in to say âtake care of her,â before closing the door and scurrying back into the dorms.
The woman looked at you, reaching up to pop on the overhead light. The sight of her in the light nearly took your breath away. She looked oddly familiar. Maybe youâd seen her around town. You sharply inhaled as the most beautiful woman youâd ever seen leaned over the console towards you. She frowned. âOh you poor thing!â She reached out to wipe off your face. You cringed when you saw the mud smear across the sleeve of her jacket. âLetâs go home and get you cleaned up.â
You nodded and she turned the light off before pulling out of the parking lot. You fought the urge to curl up in her passenger seat, fearing further ruining her seats with the dirty bottoms of your shoes. When you didnât speak, she offered up an introduction of her own. âMy name is Natasha. I donât know what Yelenaâs told you, but Iâm her sister. My wife and I have a place not so far from here.â
âIâm Y/Nâ you managed.
âA friend of Yelenaâs?â She asked.
You chuckled a little. âI suppose you could say that. We met about 20 minutes ago.â
Natasha chuckled. âOf course. Leave it to Yelena to seek you out after such an injustice.â
You bit the inside of your lip. You wished you had heard the phone conversation so you could gauge just how much she knew.
It was as if Natasha could read your mind when she started next with the details of the phone call. âYelena told me you got kicked out of the dorm by the other girls. They were uncomfortable because you were gay? I never expected to hear anything like that happening in 2024, but I guess I stand corrected.â
Well, that was one way of telling the story. At least Yelena had left out the peeping Tom allegations that got you chased off the floor by everyone who had to share a bathroom with you. They werenât true, of course, but the fact that youâd made people so uncomfortable they were willing to name you a pervert without second thought made your skin crawl.
After a short, largely silent car ride, Natasha pulled the car into a garage. You hadnât gotten a good look at the house, both because of the dark and getting lost in your own thoughts, but even by the state of the garage you could tell it was nice.
Natasha got out of the car, unlocking the door and leading you into the kitchen. You took your shoes off by the door, then decided to take your socks off too to avoid tracking muddy water through the house. The woman took your hand and guided you to the stairwell, then to a bathroom. She turned on the lights and opened up a cabinet, pulling out fresh towels and washcloths.
âIâll get you some fresh clothes and sheets. The bedroom is through here.â She opened a door that revealed a sizable bedroom connected to the bathroom. You could hardly believe this wasnât the master suite sheâd led you too.
She turned to face you, exhaling as she once again took in your disheveled state. She picked some errant pebbles from your tangled hair and wiped it out of your face. âNow,â she started, âdo you need anything else before I let you get cleaned up and off to bed?â
You shook your head. âNo. Youâve done enough already. Thank you, Miss Natasha, for letting me stay here. It means a lot. Truly.â
âOf course.â She smiled. You didnât notice the blush that crept onto her face at the formality. She swiped away the hair that had fallen in front of your eyes again. âWe wouldnât want a sweet girl like you sleeping out in the rain.â She booped the tip of your nose. âNow promise youâll wake me or Wanda up if you need anything at all. Weâre just in the room across the hall. Canât miss it, itâs the only door on that side.â
You nodded slowly. There was no way in hell you were going to wake her or Wanda, who you assumed was her wife, for any reason. But you nodded anyway.
She smiled and rubbed your chin. âGood girl. Now go get cleaned up and try to get some rest.â
As she set off to her room, you hoped the mud had covered how pink your cheeks had gotten. You headed to the shower, sliding open the glass door and turning on the water. You decided to hop in with your clothes at first, hoping to get enough of the mud off that you could wear them again tomorrow. Then you wrang the clothes out and threw them over the door to dry. You took your time in the shower, letting the hot water warm you up from the cold rain. By the time you were finally clean, you grabbed the fresh towel Natasha had left for you.
Your clothes were, obviously, still soaked save for your underwear. You were thankful for the little time it had taken the thin silky material to dry. You put them back on and wrapped yourself in a towel before entering into the bedroom.
There was a maroon hoodie at the end of the bed. It had been there since Natasha first showed you the room, so it clearly wasnât laid out for you. However, in lieu of other clothes, you decided the owner probably wouldnât mind if you borrowed it for the night. You slipped the soft fabric over your head. It was much too big for you, going down to almost your mid thighs while the sleeves dangled over your hands. But it was, quite possibly, the softest material that youâd ever felt. It felt simultaneously brand new and freshly washed.
You crawled up into the queen sized bed, slipping under the covers. You held the fabric of the hoodie close to your face. It smelled nothing like the musky bergamot of Natasha, which had been equally as entrancing in its own way. This was distinctly different. It smelled soft and comforting like lying in a meadow on a spring day. The comforting smell and warmth, along with your own exhaustion, quickly had you asleep.
#wanda maximoff#wanda x reader#wanda x you#wanda x y/n#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff x y/n#wandanat x y/n#wandanat x you#wandanat x reader#wandanat#natasha x you#natasha x reader#natasha romanoff x fem!reader#natasha romanoff#natasha romanov#a room of your own
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I always see people reminiscing about the Good Ole Days and about how antis are a new thing but. . .is that really true? Or am I just being autistic and taking things too literally, and they just mean it's way more of a common debate now than it used to be before, and that the landscape of shipwank has changed?
Idk, it's like I constantly hear about fandom wank and shipwars and censorship from decades ago, and yes I know "shipping/doxxing/censorship has always existed" can co exist with "antis are new" but I think there's still a bit of a comprehension gap on my end.
am i just dumb? What am I missing here? FWIW - I do feel like the context of "anti" has definitely changed. Back in early 2010s tumblr (I cannot speak of other website/platforms) I remember that tagging something as #Anti Donkey Kong didn't mean you think DK is an evil abusive monster and that everyone who likes him/mains him is also an evil abusive monster and that Nintendo is pushing the evil abusive monster agenda. #Anti Donkey Kong would just be character bashing, wank, letting out your grievances about how ugly DK is, etc, but it was really just a tag used for your own personal opinions (and for DK fans to filter out). Whereas now #Anti Donkey Kong would mean please go die and delete all your accounts if you support DK.
So I definitely know that "anti" has a way more intense definition now than it used to - but for some reason I find it a bit hard to grasp just how new this whole anti thing even is in the firstplace. It honestly makes me sad that I've never seen a pre-anti internet, assuming there really was a time before antis.
--
Antis are new. Specifically, the "Conservative Protestantism in a gay hat" thing that that one tumblr post pointed out is new.
We had doxxing in the past. We had masses of shipwank. We also had "How dare you write that m/m ship. It's bad!"
The key is that the "Your m/m ship is bad" crowd used to openly be conservative Christian homophobes who objected to homosexuality itself. Nowadays, they're queer 20-somethings who like m/m ships but object to gay sex.
It's the anti-kink, anti-fantasy brigade coming from "our side" instead of the outside, essentially. It's respectability politics about "Sempai will love me if I just sanitize The Community and kick out the icky weirdos". It's personal disgust masquerading as morality where once it would have been masquerading as intellectual superiority.
It's a product of queerness being more public and tolerated overall. In the past, a lot of spaces devoted to m/m shipping had to be aggressively in favor of contentious fiction because the existence of anything m/m was itself contentious. There was plenty of "Well, my gay best friend said ___ is unrealistic, and my slash is good, unlike that of you plebes!" There was much less "Fujoshi means fetishizer".
Of course, I'm comparing the 90s internet to now or the mid 00s Livejournal fandom to Tumblr of this past decade. It really depends on whether Ye Olden Times was five years ago or twenty five.
The modern use of the term 'anti' did indeed grow out of the old habit of tagging your hate. As the default cultural mode shifted from "My NOTP is dumb" to "My NOTP is problematic", the usage changed. At some point, antis started getting offended by their self-applied term and pretending that the other side inflicted it on them. This is revisionism. Fiction-is-not-reality had some writeups with citations in the past.
The big shifts were happening around 2012-2016. The long slide into puritywankers being everywhere has only continued since then, but that's where the tipping point seems to have been. TikTok exacerbates this nonsense, and there are clearly plenty of people who are anti-queer and only weaponizing clueless queer youth.
The big shift is that liking m/m used to weed out most of the worst people, and now it attracts lots of them who will not fucking go away because they like the same ship, just the hand-holdy, no dicks can touch ever version.
They spend their time bleating about how AO3 should have been built for them and how anti-censorship activism doesn't matter... because they've grown up in a fandom world dominated by AO3, which shelters them from the reality that the "Ewww, all m/m sucks!" crowd is everywhere on other sites to this day.
That's probably why the shift is when it is. Certain aspects of mainstream queer acceptance were on the rise just as AO3 was getting big. But at the same time, the world is shit and everyone has anxiety they self-medicate through rage and security theater around sniffing out The Bad People.
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I feel like disappointment in Biden is baffling to me because he was always a disappointment. He was the asshole who got to ride to power on the coattails of a better man. He told bizarre and repeated lies (despite getting caught at it and his team telling him not to) about having a Welsh coal miner dad when he did not and he stole that story from actual Welsh people. I read a profile of him years back that pointed this out and told the story of the time he straight up ignored good advice from an expert not to plant a certain kind of tree too close together and flew a bunch of them out to plant, at night because he was just too fucking excited about it, and they all died. Heâs not a smart man! Heâs charismatic ish and lacks principles and as far as I can tell doesnât really care about abortion rights or a lot of things weâd consider pretty critical to preserving freedom. I sincerely thought he couldnât become President because there were so many obviously better candidates in the pool. I underestimated the sexism and antisemitism in American politics, and when he became the candidate in 2020 I gritted my teeth and voted for him because the alternative was a man who is not only an idiot but also profoundly dangerous. Trump is not ha-ha crazy, heâs Mussolini crazy. He is not dangerous because heâs stupid, although that doesnât help; heâs dangerous because he does not care about anyone except himself under any circumstances and if that means he lets the far right push us straight into forced birth for white women and sterilization for women of color heâs going to do that. If that means conversion therapy for queers and death penalty for homosexual acts heâs going to do that. He has literally no limits. If he gets back into power, a whole lot of people are going to die, again. Itâs not a hypothetical because it happened the first time and heâs only going to get worse.
I am not, never have been, and never will be a fan of Biden. To pretend that he and Trump are in any way equivalent is wrong at best and another goddamn Russian psy-op at worst. To pretend that a third party candidacy is viable in the US is to completely ignore every election of your lifetime and your parentsâ lifetimes, and to further ignore the lesson of Ross Perot.
You cannot save Palestinians by not voting for Biden in November; the best you can do is chip away at his margin, and the worst you can do is see Trump elected so he can decide to do the worst possible thing in ever circumstance. Biden has Palestinian blood on his hands and watching this when we could have had Bernie or Elizabeth Warren instead is maddening. (I would have preferred Hillary to Trump, but I donât think sheâd be any different than Biden here. Theyâre both old-school politicians.)
I hate everything about this, and I hate that saying âmaybe donât put the man who literally said he would kill his political enemies in powerâ is seen as supporting genocide. Itâs acknowledging reality. Joe Biden as a person can eat rocks for all I care. I was kind of hoping heâd die sooner in his term so weâd have time to get used to and then vote for President Harris. (Remember when the line was âsheâs a cop, donât vote for herâ? Funny how thereâs always a reason not to vote for a woman or a person of color or someone you just âdonât likeâ and canât put a finger on why except she âseems angry.â Oh does she. How would she not? When Michelle fucking Obama, the picture of grace , STILL got called angry for having the nerve to be a Black woman with an opinion? When Hillary Clinton lost to a man with no political experience to her decades and who openly discussed sexually assaulting women? Would you have voted for President Harris? Or would you let Trump win again because you donât LIKE her personally and sheâs made decisions and statements you disagree with?)
Biden has both less power than his critics give him credit for and more power than his fans give him credit for. He needs to do more to pressure Israel and although itâs a delicate diplomatic situation Iâd rather see us fuck up our diplomatic relationship with Israel than watch more Palestinians get murdered for things like âwanting to eatâ and âexisting.â The line has been crossed, and he doesnât see it. Because he wasnât the best person for the job. Because they didnât get elected, because of sexism/antisemitism/racism. Hell, I have no idea what bootlicker Pete Buttegieg would have done here, but Iâd have given him a try. But no. We got Biden and weâre stuck with this reality where you can be as leftist as you want and still have to look at the situation and decide whether youâre comfortable contributing to a Trump victory through inaction. I want socialismâI want every single person on Earth to have clean drinking water, enough safe food, shelter, medical care, and educationâand Iâm going to vote for Biden, pissy as it makes me, because the only actual alternative is so, so much worse, for me personally as both a woman and a queer, and for everyone in America and the rest of the world who Trump would find reasons to hurt. What do you think the man who openly and repeatedly praises dictators is going to do when those dictators massacre their own people? Yes, we need to care about this genocide now. We also need to care about all of the other people who are at real risk, both at home and abroad. Would a Trump government agree to fund military intervention in Haiti without insisting on it being a colonial exercise in power? Would a Trump government roll back the restrictions on discriminating against transgender patients in healthcare? How would Trump respond if Orban started dragging people into the streets and shooting them en masse? How would Trump respond if China finally went for it and invaded Taiwan? There are more lives at stake here than mine or yours or even those of the Palestinians, who have deserved better for literally decades and are being mass killed in ways that should result in immediate sanctions, a war crimes trial, and the execution of Netanyahu.
The world deserves better from you than complicity in a Trump victory.
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sold out, one night only
for @corrodedcoffinfest popup event for Black Friday using 'one day night only'
rated m | 2980 words | cw: implied and referenced sexual content | tags: modern era, pop star steve, rock star eddie, semi-famous corroded coffin, exes to lovers, getting back together
đ€đ€đ€đ€đ€đ€đ€đ€đ€đ€đ€đ€đ€
The poster is huge, takes up most of the board in the club announcing new events. Itâs surprisingly simple for something so large.
âOne Night Onlyâ accompanied by a picture of Steve Harrington, recently out queer pop icon, and a date and time.
Tonight is the one night only.
Eddie stares at it, kind of wishes he didnât feel like sobbing, and then books it out of the club.
If heâs gonna make it across town before Steveâs show is done, heâs gotta hope for the least amount of traffic heâs ever seen and a lot of luck. Maybe, if heâs really lucky, the show was delayed enough that heâs still on stage singing.
He manages to find an Uber only a block away, offers them a 50% tip if they can get him to the arena in less than five minutes, and leans his head back against the seat.
~~~~
Four years ago, when Steve followed Eddie and his band to Chicago, neither of them expected much to happen. Corroded Coffin was small town good, but they quickly found that they werenât quite what record labels were looking for.
A small indie label from San Francisco was interested, though.
So they packed up and moved to California, and to celebrate the first recording session, they went to a karaoke bar and all took turns singing songs that youâd never expect them to.
Steve took a turn singing a Harry Styles song and it was game over.
The whole bar went silent until he was done, and then it was pandemonium as people rushed him as he got off the stage, telling him he should be famous, and that he had the voice of an angel, and that he should try to sign a record deal.
And Eddie knew he could sing; heâd heard him in the shower and the car plenty.
There was just something about seeing him on stage and knowing that Steve was meant for more that really cut into his heart and made him bleed out on that bar floor.
It was the beginning of the end for them that night.
Eddie pushed him away. Steve stopped fighting it.
Steve signed with a huge company out of New York and moved before Eddie even realized he ruined everything.
He hasnât spoken to him since, not even the one time Dustin had to have surgery and requested everyone be back in Hawkins in case something went wrong. He was being dramatic about leg splints, but they did it anyway.
Eddie caught one glimpse of Steve walking out of the Henderson home the night that Dustin got to leave the hospital, but he didnât stop him.
Corroded Coffin is big enough to do festival circuits, even playing on the main stage for some of them.
Steve Harrington is big enough to go to Grammy parties and duet with Sabrina Carpenter.
And Eddie is stupid enough to think he can get backstage to apologize to him for being dumb enough to let him walk away.
~~~~
When he arrives at the arena, heâs told he needs a ticket to enter. This is a fact he knew before getting here, but one he chose to ignore in hopes that he might be able to bribe someone with his romantic story.
Unfortunately, the middle aged man who reminds him a lot of Wayne couldnât care less about his need to tell Steve he loves him.
âYou and the 20,000 others in the audience, bud,â the man says. âNo ticket, no entrance.â
âOkay, I know you probably hear this often, but I swear he knows me. Heâd let me in,â Eddie explains, but the guy is somehow even less impressed. âOh! Wait. I have proof.â
Eddie pulls out his phone and opens his photos. The album named âStevie â„ïžâ is still in his favorites, even though Robin made him promise heâd delete it after the last time she visited. He may have promised he would, but he never said when.
Itâs hundreds of photos of them together, mostly selfies, personal pictures they took on dates or in bed or on their road trip or-
âI told you to delete those.â
Eddie spins around at Robinâs voice. Sheâs standing near the set of doors at the end of the long line of doors, two security guards flanking her.
âAnd I will. Eventually.â Eddie walks towards her, ignoring the man telling him he needs to leave.
âWhat are you doing here?â She asks even though she has to know.
Sheâs his friend even though sheâs Steveâs platonic soulmate. She isnât being mean on purpose. Sheâs just being protective of both of them.
âRobinâŠâ he starts.
She holds up a hand. âIf I take you backstage, will this be a one night only thing or a start to forever thing? Because honestly, I donât think he can take seeing you if itâs only for you to leave right after. Heâs barely-â She cuts herself off, eyes widening.
âHeâs what?â Eddie pushes, needing to know what she was gonna say.
She sighs. He knew heâd get her to give in easily.
âHeâs barely holding it together as it is,â she admits. âI had to bribe him to get on stage tonight.â
âBribe him? For this show?â
âAnd the last dozen or so. Heâs tired. He-â She sighs again, heavier. âHe misses you.â
âIf he misses me, then he should call. Or text. Send a carrier pigeon.â Eddie doesnât mean for the words to bite, but he canât help the way he feels and he knows heâs safe with Robin. She wonât take it personally or let him stew in it for too long. âItâs not like he doesnât have access to me if he really wants it.â
âEddie. You made it very clear you didnât want to hear from him ever again.â
âI made it very clear that I loved him too much to hold him back. He was the one who pushed it to this,â Eddie tries.
He doesnât succeed. Robin is shaking her head, laughing with disbelief.
âYou two are made for each other. Iâll bring you backstage, but if I see a single tear shed in anything other than happiness, Iâm calling Jeff and telling on you.â
Eddie canât help but laugh. Calling Jeff isnât quite the threat it used to be, not since Jeff got himself a very serious girlfriend who keeps him busy. Even if it was, Robin knows Jeffâs just gonna nod along, give Eddie a sad look, and move on.
He follows Robin through the door she came through, waving at the guard who was giving him a hard timeâ âheâs just doing his job, Eddieâ â and feels his throat catch on his next breath when he can hear the beat of the music.
Steveâs pop rock sound isnât necessarily Eddieâs favorite type of music, but he did stay up until midnight for the release of his debut album. Itâs Steve. Whatâs he gonna do? Not listen to it?
His voice is just this side of raspy, like thereâs a scratch of his throat when he hits the lower register his voice will allow. He almost sounds like when Eddie would-
âAlright. Heâs got two songs left and an encore. Encore is usually just one song, but this is a special night so he may do a bonus from his new album. Donât touch anything,â Robin sends him into the green room, waving off the security person who is standing at the door. âDonât make me regret letting you in here. And donât hurt yourself.â
âJesus, Robbie, Iâm not a child. Iâm not gonna hurt myself-â
âI didnât mean physically.â She gives him a sad look. âI care about you, too.â
Eddieâs shoulders fall as he breathes out. He didnât realize how tense heâd been. Robin hugs him and moves to the door.
âIâll make sure you guys have some privacy for a bit, but we do have a tight schedule. Securityâs only here while the crew packs up,â she explains. Eddie nods. He knows the drill. He may not be an international pop star, but he deals with the ins and outs of venues often enough.
Robin leaves and the only sound is the bass thumping of Steveâs last song. Eddie looks around at how bare the room is. Usually, Corroded Coffin has to share a green room with a few other bands unless they pull off headlining the main stage. Those rooms are usually cluttered, crews and musicians constantly coming and going, leaving trash and guitar picks behind. The only thing in this room that would hint at Steve using it is a bag of half-eaten white cheddar popcorn on the table next to an empty water bottle and a mug of what looks like green tea.
Steveâs a big enough star to make absurd requests for backstage, but itâs clear he doesnât. Eddie isnât surprised. Steveâs never really been one to ask for things that would benefit him.
He hears the screaming, knows Steveâs just left the stage. Heâs probably standing nearby, hiding behind curtains or stacks of speakers, maybe even in plain sight.
âWait!â Robinâs voice is right outside the door.
The door opens.
Steveâs there, breathless, sweaty, hot as hell.
âSteve, you still have a song,â another woman in khakis and a polo shirt is rushing up to him, waving a clipboard in his face.
âEddie.â Steveâs voice is rough when he speaks. Eddie can tell itâs more from emotion than the nearly two hour set list he just performed.
âSteve.â Eddie is waiting for Steve to move, for anyone to move. He canât.
âSteve, you need to go back onstage.â
Eddie has his arms full of Steve before anyone can respond to the woman just trying to do her job. She looks like sheâs a tech manager, but usually they wear all black, and Eddie doesnât know all there is to know about an international superstar performing a concert even though he does know all there is to know about Steve.
He knows that he prefers earl gray tea with real sugar, not the green tea with honey thatâs sitting on the coffee table. He knows that his favorite treats are the mini Kit Katsâ ânot the regular ones, they taste different, I swear!â-- not popcorn that gets stuck in his teeth for hours. He knows that he likes making places feel like home no matter how temporary heâs there, and thereâs not a single item in this room that makes it feel lived in.
The woman seems to give up on getting Steve back on stage, and heâs pretty sure he has Robin to thank for it.
He has Steve in his arms for the first time in way too long. He isnât wasting a second of it thinking about anyone else.
Steveâs sweat is soaking through Eddieâs shirt already, but he doesnât really care. He used to love having Steveâs sweat on him; It meant he was doing something right.
He knows a reunion isnât this easy, and any second now, Steveâs gonna pull away and yell at him, and theyâll fight and Eddie will let it happen because he deserves it and-
âI didnât think youâd come,â Steve sobs against his neck, breath tickling his skin as his lips brush against him in an almost-kiss.
Suddenly, Eddie knows that Steve planned this. This whole sold out, one night only show was only so Eddie would come see him.
Eddie should be pissed.
Steve could have just fucking called him. Texted him. Sent a carrier pigeon!
But heâs got Steve in his arms and itâs always been pretty hard to be pissed at him when heâs pressed perfectly against his chest.
Robin is clearing the room and cursing Steve for making her clean up his messes, but Eddie can hear the fondness in her voice. She wouldnât bother giving them time alone together if she didnât want them to have it.
âRobin said I shouldnât do it. She said you wouldnât show.â Tears are falling from Steveâs eyes on Eddie's shirt. âI swore you would. She thought I was crazy.â
âYou are crazy,â Eddie laughs, squeezing his arms to pull him in tighter. âPlanning something this big in the hopes that Iâd come to a pop concert is fucking insane, Stevie.â
âBut you did.â Steve leans back and looks at him, watery smile enough to make Eddie feel like he could melt into the floor. âI knew you would.â
Eddie wants to kiss him, wants to ignore everything that went wrong and everything they need to talk about, wants to take Steve apart in this room and make it feel like home because Steve didnât do that on his own. He doesnât think heâs made any place feel like home in a long time.
âYou put a lot of faith in a guy who let you go,â Eddie whispers.
âYou showed up for a guy who left,â Steve says back.
âYou only left because I pushed you away,â Eddie argues.
âYou only pushed me away because you thought it was best for me,â Steve raises a brow, challenging him to keep going.
Eddie knows Steve has a response for everything, though. Heâll keep putting blame on himself the same way Eddie keeps putting it on himself, and theyâll go round and round and waste precious time that they could be doing other things. Instead of pushing, Eddie sighs and lets his shoulders drop.
âIâm sorry,â he says instead of arguing.
âIâm sorry, too,â Steve relaxes in his arms.
âWe still have to talk, Stevie,â Eddie reminds him as he leans in, feels Steveâs breath against his lips.
âWe will,â Steve barely gets out before their lips crash together, bruising and needy.
Thereâs a lot that Eddie missed about Steve. Heâs spent countless hours harping over everything he messed up to himself, to Robin, to Wayne, to the band. Steve was forever going to be the one that got away.
âCan weâŠâ Steve gasps against his mouth, hands grasping at every inch of Eddie that they can.
âWhat do you need?â Eddie wraps his fingers around Steveâs wrists to still him, to make him focus on what he wants.
âJust need you.â
Itâs a cop out and they both know it, but Eddieâs fine with it tonight. If he has to be the one to take charge and assume what Steve wants, then he will. For tonight, he can give Steve what he wants to, and Steve will take it.
Itâs a little anticlimactic when they come barely five minutes later. They donât even get a chance to properly remove any clothing before theyâre making a mess between them, moaning as if they canât be heard.
As they come down, and Eddie manages to find a rag that may or may not have been used for other things already, Eddie sees Steve wipe his eyes.
He stops what heâs doing and drops the rag on the floor, pulling Steve close again.
âWhatâs wrong?â He asks because he canât let Steve leave him again. Not this time.
âI just donât want this to be one night only,â Steve cries.
âIt wonât be, sweetheart,â Eddie assures him, brushing the fresh tears away as they fall. âWeâre gonna figure out how to make it work. The band doesnât have anything for the next few weeks, so weâve got time, okay?â
âBut I have to leave tomorrow. I have a GQ interview in London,â Steve pouts.
Eddie tries not to be distracted by his bitten-red lips, but theyâre just soâŠbiteable.
âI could go to London,â Eddie offers, only slightly joking.
Steveâs eyes light up. âYou can?â
âI mean, I can definitely blow some of my savings to follow you around for a bit,â Eddie shrugs.
âAs if Iâd let you pay.â Steveâs beaming at him. âYou really wanna come with me? Even though people will start spreading rumors and itâll ruin your metal band image?â
âBaby, Iâll stand on that stage right now and scream to everyone who will listen that Iâm yours.â
Thereâs still time to do that, too. Even though it canât have been more than 20 minutes since Steve left the stage, he has no doubt that there are plenty of stragglers in the arena hoping for Steve to still come out and perform his encore.
âSome fans are kind of-â
âCrazy?â Steve nods. âThatâs because youâre perfect. But they canât have you, right? Not like I can.â
âNo. Nobody gets to have me like you do.â
If Robin wasnât banging on the door to warn them they only had five minutes, Eddie would be trying for another round. Maybe this time, heâd get his mouth on Steve instead of just his hand.
âI guess we should get to the car before fans figure out Iâm still here,â Steve suggests. âAnd before Robin kills us both.â
âImagine that news story,â Eddie laughs. âBest friend and manager of pop icon Steve Harrington charged with double homicide after seeing more dicks than sheâs ever seen in her life.â
âBold of you to assume she hasnât seen mine,â Steve laughs as he pulls away. When he sees Eddieâs shocked face, he pats his cheek. âI sleep naked, babe. You knew that.â
Eddieâs face goes back to normal quickly. âStill? I thought that was just so I would-â
âIâm coming in!â Robin shouts as she opens the door. Steve turns away to finish buttoning his pants, but Eddieâs soft dick is right out in the open.
âSeriously?â Robin groans.
Eddie finishes making himself presentable and smirks. âYouâve seen what heâs got. You canât blame me.â
âI can and I will. Carâs already surrounded, so. Hope youâre good with a hard launch.â
Eddie looks at Steve to check in. Steve gives him a nod.
âBlast off, I guess.â
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#robin buckley#corroded coffin fest#pop star steve harrington#rock star eddie munson#exes to lovers#getting back together
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finally talked my wife into watching 8x06 "confessions" with me and WOW there's quite a lot going on in this breakup scene in buck's apartment (and the infamous glee scene for that matter) that I haven't seen discussed much on this website (though maybe I'm just not finding it?) like this show is always yelling the themes in your face but...
first of all I think it's somewhat intentional that Buck is being written as kind of regressing. So far in the show, he's gotten his confidence in romantic relationships by fulfilling the role with the person that he thinks he should fulfill. with Abby, Buck had just learned about serious adult romantic relationships and how they work and was trying to Be A Partner in a complete speed run. But he learned that no amount of devotion is a substitute for functionality. with Taylor, he was trying to Be A Functional Partner - and he learned that being a partner Has To involve trust, and that trust comes from somewhere else other than just our actions - it has to come from our hearts.
Tommy is the first person he's ever dated where he doesn't know what the next steps are and that's because this isn't something he has a blueprint for - being a Partner and a Functional Partner for somebody who sees right through him and sees exactly what he's trying to do, to make Tommy never leave. Abby was completely clueless (sorry I really dislike Abby) and Taylor didn't realize that an adult man could behave so badly without utter malice in his heart. Both of them kind of make the mistake of being vulnerable to Buck's charms.
Tommy is of course vulnerable to Buck's charms but Buck is more transparently himself with Tommy as well - and what Tommy sees, then, is a person who is deeply insecure and may be trending in the right direction but ultimately still thinks there's a lever he can pull to make Tommy stay and never leave him. He doesn't know that he's not done cooking yet because every new thing he learns about the world or others makes him feel brand fucking new.
So yes, the glee scene:
Josh was absolutely gagged that Tommy was Abby's ex fiance
Buck's first instinct is to see the situation from Abby's side and go into protective mode which is adorably loyal to be fair but also like ; get a grip
I actually love Josh's framing of "you care about this person and if you want a future in a queer relationship you need to learn that we don't all come to this the same way"
Did they need a cultural reference? No. Were they going to self referentially congratulate Ryan Murphy for inflicting it on the world? Yes.
And regarding the breakup itself:
What is wrong with this fandom's sense of humor that I haven't seen a gif of "I'm the himbo" ??? Like yes babe u sure are come here
Buck is really working so hard in this scene to make sure Tommy knows that he's serious. He's like... this freaked me out but I've decided I'm cool with it. She changed my life but not like you !!!
Like bless his heart, Buck thought he was really doing the right thing by telling Tommy about Abby BEFORE ASKING HIM TO MOVE IN WITH HIM. like MY CARDS ARE ON THE TABLE??? SEE??? LOVE ME FOREVER !! it's adorable and it's also cringe as fuck.
I think the real sin of the writing here is making Buck so completely clueless that this is the wrong move. Like he's kind of an idiot (Eddie Diaz's words not mine) but moving in with someone after dating them for six months in your 30s is WILD behavior and I don't think even Evan Buckley would fail to realize that this is a bit much in this moment.
But idk being in love makes one do stupid things? I did all of my messy bitch relationship shit before I turned 30 but I guess it is buck we are talking about
I completely understand why Tommy reacts the way he does in this scene and bless Lou Ferrigno Jr for acting it with such nuance, much more depth than the scene frankly deserves. What a heartbreaker. Like you see him tense up at Buck's request
"I'm not saying let's get married or engaged, even though we would have the right, thanks to the brave people who came before, including you." such an insane thing to say to your boyfriend. Whoever approved this script was trying to take me out like with a gun.
You then see the absolute grief in Tommy's eyes like oh god this kid is killing me. He's so sweet. He's so cute. He doesn't get it. I love him. He doesn't get it.
As an aside, Eddie being stalked in the juice bar by the hot priest was absolutely incredible.
I didn't hate this episode but wow the writing does suck shit, however I fully believe it makes sense for them to break up here and get back together in the future ??? because Buck DOES have some shit to figure out. Like moving in with someone is a lot of fucking intimacy REALLY fast and baby boy sometimes you NEED to pump the brakes a little ESPECIALLY when you think someone might be THE ONE and you just figured out you like guys six months ago.
I get it and yeah the writing is tragic and the inclusion of Abby in general is just unhinged and unnecessary but like I don't hate the broad strokes here. how else does the blorbo learn if not by ritual torture by the writers. Lou is too good to not have back though. My god what a treasure.
end bucktommy endgame truther transmission
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Ok, so I wanted to do a deeper dive into this particular passage of Good Omens:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e448a27e5bdba6156f3486e02c51d282/a3458e9fbfe7b001-31/s540x810/e1a6b0c14f841136b1109d43e0a29173baab1eb3.jpg)
For context, this is at the climax of the book, theyâre at Tadfield airbase, the horsemen have been dispensed with, Aziraphale has his body back, and Satan is about to claw his way out of the pit.
In most of the proceeding chapters involving Crowley it talks a lot about how scared Crowley is. He is very scared of Hell.
One could perhaps say maybe he is scared of them due to The Arrangement, but that is never explicitly stated. I think it has more to do with Hell is bad, and Crowley has spent the majority of the book being yelled at by some entity through the radio or TV telling him how heâs going to be in super amounts of trouble when they get their hands on him. He is just scared of what will happen. When he comes across the book shop burning he doesnât cry for his lost friend. He curses Aziraphale, and I think itâs because the one person who may have been able to keep him safe and protected from Hell is now gone.
So when he thinks to himself (as shown in the above screen shot) that there is now nothing left for him to lose, this is why I never thought (upon reading the book the first time that is) there were any romantic feelings between him and Aziraphale. I know that technically he had already lost Aziraphale. But by this point he was back again, and back in his body. If there truly were romantic thoughts between them surely the idea of losing him again would come up.
I have read so much fanfiction, some old, some new, and what they all have in common is the detailed inner monologue of Crowleyâs turmoil over his feelings for Aziraphale and how he doesnât feel like he can act on them. In the book we get nothing of the sort, from either character. Even when theyâre separated there is hardly ever any description of them thinking of the other except occasionally to frame a short reference to something. Reading the book I never got the impression that there was anything more than two ethereal beings spending time and proximity to each other and doing work for each other for no other reason than theyâre essentially a bit lazy.
I think theyâre only queer coded for the fact that thereâs the line about Aziraphale appearing âgayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitric oxideâ, and Crowley is, well, very Freddie Mercury coded. Them being seen as gay together and all the gay slurs in the awful racist scenes of Aziraphale body hopping about in culturally indigenous people after the bookshop fire has more to do with the very typical 80âs/90âs trope of âbeing gay = comedy goldâ, than them actually being together romantically.
I think the reason why they were shipped so much after the publication however is for the same reason we ship so many male couples (or female couple) in modern media, why weâve always shipped them: because of the complete and horrid lack there of, of proper queer representation.
If youâve ever seen the magnificent Russel T Davies TV series Itâs a Sin, there is a wonderful scene where the character Ash starts a job in a school library and the headmaster asks him to go through all the books and find any book that has queer love scenes so they can be removed. Ash then gives a most beautiful and impassioned speech (albeit it turns out the speech is just in his head) of how there is nothing. Absolutely nothing. There is nothing to the point where they are nonexistent. They are invisible. They are not seen. (Or like, something to that effect. I tell you though, itâs bloody brilliant).
So I think thatâs rather the point really. You have two iconic characters, albeit supporting bit characters practically, and I think a lot of our minds automatically get drawn to wanting to put them together because of the sheer lack of queer couples. People have been doing it for years from Frodo and Sam, to Harry Potter and Draco (or Ron I guess), to Sherlock and Watson (even before the Benedict Cumberbatch show. Also as an aside letâs not get into how obsessed people got about Sherlock Holmes back in the day when those books were first published. The obsession was the reason Doyle killed the character off the in first place, then after getting letters from people telling him they were literally going to kill themselves, the reasons why he resurrected him again. Donât tell us that modern day nerds are weird and obsessive. Weâve ALWAYS been like this).
Itâs for this reason why queer representation is so god damn important. Why I still support the idea of Good Omens season 3. Because regardless of how the characters were originally intending to be represented in the book, itâs very clear now that they are so much more than âJust friendsâ. And we NEED that! Whether you subscribe to the idea that they will be physically intimate with each other, the fact remains is they love each other. They love each other immensely. And that comes from years of Terry Pratchett (and the other guy) accepting that canon and telling fans that itâs true. Because Michael Sheen made a choice and held a belief about how he saw his character and then David Tennant followed suit. That literally tens of thousands of fanfiction writers have decided the same.
So thatâs my take. I donât think loving each other was ever intended that way in the book, but in the last 35 years their story has morphed into the ineffable husbands that we now know.
What are your thoughts? Have I rambled on long enough to make any sense? Do you agree? Have I missed something completely obvious and gotten it all wrong? Keen to hear thoughts.
#good omens#book omens#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#good omens fandom#crowley x arizaphale#david tennant#Michael Sheen#Terry Pratchett#fire neil gaiman#good omens discussions
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Something About Her. Steve Harrington x Reader
Something About her.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/77e60ac01a2b7163a4f9fe451ac495d3/7f0e982b80cf76b3-b2/s540x810/d0f396e11da2667226211b8abe12db0857ad8ddc.jpg)
I DO NOT ALLOW MY WRITING TO BE REPUBLISHED ANYWHERE OTHER THAN MY OWN BLOG WITHOUT MY CONSENT
Summary:Â Steve is kind of obsessed with you, and you're kind of obsessed with him. Only ever watching from afar until a fight breaks out at the party you're both at.
18 + IF YOU ARE NOT 18 OR OLDER DO NOT READ OR INTERACT WITH MY WRITING. IT IS NOT INTENDED FOR MINORS. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CONSUME.
Warnings: fem!reader, physical altercation, reader gets backhanded by homophobic male character, brief mention of blood, forehead gets slightly cut, reader has a vagina, sex but not sex? No penetrative sex, fingering, Steve is called a f***** and a queer in a derogatory sense by a homophobic character at the party. (I will star it out anyway just incase any of you are uncomfortable with that) (IF THERES ANYTHING I MISSED LET ME KNOW)
AN: Real quick, I don't condone using homophobic slurs towards anyone ever. This is not ME saying these things, it is a CHARACTER in the 80's saying those things. I myself am Queer so... ya know... I get it. NOT REALLY PROOF READ FOR MISTAKES JUST FOR THE VIBES (Huge thank you to my bby @rowanswriting for giving this a read through for me to make sure it wasnât absolute garbage! love u <3)
Wordcount: 4k
Steve doesn't know when his fascination with you started, but he knows that once it did start he couldn't stop it. Anytime he was out at a party he was always looking for you. Subtly over the rim of his red cup, filled with whatever concoction that would get him buzzed the quickest. Personally he doesn't think it's stalking, because he doesn't follow you around any other time, but when he knows you're around, he's going to keep an eye out for you. Robin on the other hand, definitely thinks it's stalking and will make it a point to tease Steve about it whenever she can.
He's only talked to you a couple of times and the two of you wouldn't even consider each other friends but for some reason he always had to have an eye on you, and you always had an eye on him.Â
Robin would constantly poke into his side and whispering about his "obsession" with you but he would just push her off and roll his eyes. Because someone as pretty as you would never look at him the same way. You were ethereal; Steve might actually believe it if you were from another world, considering he's had his fair share of experience of things that you'd think didn't exist.
He knows you watch him too. Praying you don't think it's weird for catching your eye one too many times, but being constantly enamoured by the way you move and speak, how you captivate everyone around you yet you're completely unaware of it.Â
Robin decides that after watching the two of you eye fuck each other six more times that she's going to help. She skips over to you and you greet her with one of the brightest smiles he's ever seen. Â The two of you talking together has four hands flying around with the dramatics of whatever story it is the pair of you have begun discussing and he's honestly surprised neither of you have hit one another in the face.
Steve still, stands with his back plastered against the wall, trying to ignore the dull thumping bass of whatever shitty music was playing, focusing hard on the way your lips moved, trying to get any sense at what you were saying. It takes him a minute to realize it's Robin you're talking to and he's more confused, zoning in on the way your tongue darts out to lick across your strawberry pink lips when he's interrupted from his thoughts by some beefy drunk, boy from high school trying to relive his glory days as he stumbles past him.Â
He looks at Steve, looks at robin, and then back to Steve. He snickers "Damn Harrington, can't even get Robin to stick around with you? Maybe you are as queer as she is" he sways as he passes Robin and you. Robin freezes, before slowly looking back to Steve, praying tonight wasn't going to end with Steve beating someone up. Again.Â
"Hey" Steves voice is loud, angry, startling almost everyone, despite how loud the music was.Â
"Say what you want about me, but don't say shit about Robin alright?" Steve warns.
The drunken asshole makes his attempt to saunter up to Steve, getting far too close to his face before speaking "Or what pretty boy? Gunna get your boyfriend to come save you?"Â
Steve can feel the hot air of his breath in his face, it reeks so badly of alcohol it almost smells like hand sanitizer. "Get lost man" Steve says shaking his head turning away from him, trying to distract himself from the prying eyes by above everyones heads, sipping his drink.Â
What Steve doesn't notice is how ridged you've become and how hard your fists are shaking where they are clenched at your sides.Â
He laughs, thinking he's won whatever show it is he's putting on for everyone and goes to leave before turning back to Steve. "F****t can't fight his own battles, what a pussy"
Before Steve can even fully turn around you've pushed past robin and are standing in front of the drunk, arm pulled back before your tiny fist makes contact with the dudes face. "What's your problem!" You yell. Â Steve has never heard your voice so loud before. "You homophobic piece of shit? What decade were you born in saying shit like that?" Your hand hurts, like really bad, but you're too prideful to let him see you cry. No one is going to say shit like that about anyone around you, let alone Robin, or Steve.Â
"Fucking bitch" he spits, blood filled saliva hitting the white tiled floor beneath your feet. His hand raises quick, and without a second thought he lands a single smack across your face with the back of his hand, and then walks away. You involuntary gasp at the impact, while the rest of the party goers shout and follow him but you can barely hear over the ringing in your ears, but you hope they beat the shit out of him outside. You feel a drip of blood form and start to slide down your face from where his large class ring made contact with the skin just above your eyebrow. Your hand trembles as it reaches up to touch the warm liquid before bringing your hand down to see your blood covered finger tips.Â
When you look up, blurry faces stand around you, and they're all speaking at once, you're unsure where to look, or who to respond to when someone gently takes your hand, pulling you with them upstairs and away from the chaos below. Only when the click of the bathroom door locks do your senses start to come back and you realize you're standing in front of Steve Harrington and that tears had begun rolling down your cheeks.
At the same time you both blurt out "Are you okay?" and Steve laughs in amusement.Â
"Am I okay? I'm not the one who sucker punched someone twice her size and is bleeding from her head!" he exclaims. He laughs again before muttering an "Oh shit" Grabbing at the nearest hand towel and running it under the faucet. "Come here, sit" he says patting the countertop. You watch him with wide doe eyes, pupils blown from the adrenaline coursing through you, but still you listen, slowly and a little robotically you lean against the counter, Steves large hand holding the side of your waist to help as you hop up onto the counter. He's talking, but you don't really hear him so instead you focus on watching him as he moves around the bathroom, finding things to help with the tiny wound on your forehead.Â
He dabs the damp towel against your forehead quickly and abruptly. You wince and pull back, your two hands coming up to hold his wrist in place.Â
"I'm sorry, shit, are you okay? I should have warned you first"Â
"I'm sorry that guy said that" you say finally finding your voice, it's shaky and a little croaky but it's there.Â
"Don't be, I've heard worse" he smiles and you let go of his wrist signalling to him that he can continue and so he does. "S'not so bad of a cut, just bled a lot cause it's on your head"
You laugh a little, and the relief Steve feels when he hears it skyrockets. "You've got quite the arm on you, more guys like him should be afraid of you"
You laugh again. "I've had some practice" you shrug and sniffle, pretending to play it cool.Â
"Oh yeah? You beating up guys in the alleyways behind bars? Lemme see those guns" he pesters, lifting up the arm you used to throw your punch, and you flex it proudly. The muscle bulging and Steve gives it a squeeze.Â
He wolf whistles. "Wow-ee that's some A plus muscle right there" he teases but short circuits when you look up at him. Mascara smudged just under your eyes from where the tears overflowed, cheeks rosy with a blush or from the adrenaline, he can't tell but his hand comes up to hold the side of your face anyway and he does everything he can to hold himself together when he feels you lean into his touch.Â
"You're so pretty" he blurts, feeling the heat of your cheek under his palm when he says it.Â
"So are you" you whisper. You can feel the trembling starting to begin in your bones as the adrenaline wears off, your body finally attempting to come down from the earlier altercation. Steve notices at the first twitch of your shoulder.Â
"S-sorry" you stutter through your teeth as they begin to chatter along with the rest of your body.Â
"Stop apologizing for things you can't control" he says taking your hands and placing them on the sides of his waist. He doesn't mean for it to be forceful or sexual when he does it, but his one hand comes between your legs and pushes them apart by your knees, positioning himself between them. "Here, hug me, it'll help with the shakes" He pulls you into him and you're thankful for the tightness of his arms around around you. You sigh into him, feeling the slightest bit of tension leave your shoulders. Steve notices and slides one hand to the back of your neck, pushing in just slightly at the base, massaging it until he feels your shoulders start to slump.
The groan that leaves you was almost pornographic, and Steve has to calm himself down immediately or you might be able to feel how much that little noise had affected him. Steve tried really hard, he did, but he's standing between your legs and you're so close to him that he knows if he shifted just a little you'd feel his dick press into your stomach.Â
When the shaking starts to stop you lean back from him, head tilted up towards him but your eyes stay closed. Your hands still stationed on his hips, and Steve doesn't stop his fingers where they massage the base of your neck.Â
"That feels really good" you sigh, eyes flitting open lazily.Â
"Good" Steve says with a smile, his opposite hand coming up to push your hair back behind your ear. He watches as your eyebrows furrow slightly.Â
"What's wrong?"
"N-nothing" you lie. It's the adrenaline. It's like when you come down from a really big cry, and your body doesn't know what to do with all the feelings so it sends them between your legs, making everything in you ache for someone to touch you, for Steve to touch you. You shift on the counter, legs instinctively trying to close, the rough fabric of his jeans rubbing against the insides of your thighs, teasing you.Â
Steve can feel your heartbeat pick up from where his fingers are still pressed against your skin, and he's watching you with curious eyes. He can sense it, he knows, but he wont make a move unless you initiate it, anything, even if it's subtle. But you have to be the one to start it. With one too many run in's with the end of the world, Steve knows that sometimes when the adrenaline wears off the only thing you want to do is fuck.
"Is it your head?" He asks "Does it hurt?"
"It's not my head" you say as you shake it. "It hurts a little b-but I'm okay, really"
Steve hums, his pressing touch moving from your neck and you have to stop yourself from whimpering at the loss.Â
"Look at me" he says and you do, eyes darting back and forth between his. "I just wanna make sure you don't have a concussion" he widens his stance, sliding his feet outwards until he's just about your height from where you sit, his big warm hands come up and cup either sides of your face while he assess you.
A loud crash followed by laughter startles the two of you jump slightly. Your hands grip onto Steves waist harder and he's moved forward so now the two of you are pressed together, and he can see it in your face when his stubbornly hard dick makes contact with you.
"Steve?" you say quietly, and he's already preparing an apology in his head. "Um I know we don't really know each other" You swallow thickly. "But um" you trail off, glancing to your hands and where they rest, thumbs slipping past the hem of his shirt, touching the warm skin of his belly. He inhales sharply, and you look at him mesmerized.Â
"Are you sure you're not concussed?" he questions "Or did that guy really hit me instead and I'm unconscious having a wonderful dream right now?"
You giggle and his cock strains in his jeans.Â
"I don't wanna have sex with you though" you say quickly. "I mean now, right now, I definitely want to have sex with you, I just, not in a bathroom at a party? I wanted to- shit" You scrunch your eyes closed and take a breath before looking back at him. "I wanted to ask you on a date first"
"You wanted to ask me? Me on a date?" Steve says quietly.Â
You nod, tucking your bottom lip between your teeth. So shy, yet so brave.
'I'm fucked' He thinks. 'I'm going to fall in love with her'
"C-can, we um, can we touch each other? Is that okay?" your hands hold him a little tighter and his stomach tenses.Â
"Y-yeah, please, can I kiss you?" he asks desperately and you nod, your hands finally reaching up to cup his face. He grabs you by the hips and slides you closer to the edge of the counter, your old converse hitched on the sides of his waist, pressed against his brown leather belt. Your crotch now pressed against his jean covered cock, and he realizes you've been wearing a dress the entire time he's been stood between your legs, and only now has caught a glance at the pretty pink panties you wear.Â
You whimper when he kisses you. His lips soft and plump just like you had thought they would be, and the tiny groan he lets out goes straight to your cunt and your hips jump ever so slightly. You kiss each other feverishly, sloppy and quick. Every kiss, every smack of your lips, every move of his tongue has your stomach flipping and your hips rolling into him. He's grinding into you without a single care, he could cum like this and wouldn't dare be embarrassed about it when you look like that under him. How could he not.Â
He does almost bust his load immediately when your hands go for his belt, quickly unbuckling it and tugging at the button and zipper until it's all the way down. He breaks the kiss to watch you do it.Â
"Is this okay?" you ask, fingers dipped into the waistband of his boxers.
"You could do anything you want with me right now and I wouldn't care" He jokes. "So yes this is more than okay"
"Can you touch me too?" You ask with your baby Bambi eyes and god Steve nearly loses it. How can you ask him something so dirty but make it sound so sickly sweet.Â
"God, yeah, of course I can sweet thing" he says sliding his hands up your thighs until he's under the hem of your red dress, it's covered in dainty little white flowers, and he thinks it looks perfect on you. He searches for the band of your panties before tugging at them until you shift, letting him slide them out from under you until they're dangling off your right ankle that is still stationed on his hip.Â
His fingers slide easily through your slick and he groans. "Fucking christ"
You giggle again, sighing when he grazes your clit and your knees instinctively try to lock together.
"It's taking everything in me not to bury my face in your cunt right now Jesus Christ, look at her" he praises, watching his shiny fingers and the way they move against you, the way your hips twitch to meet them.Â
"Her?" you ask.
"Your pussy babe" he says obviously.
Your entire body engulfs in heat, and you can't tell if you're embarrassed that he's talking about your pussy like it's a person, or if it's turning you on even more.Â
"O-Oh my god" you say, your words slipping into a moan mixed with a gasp. Head tilting back until it hits the mirror behind you.Â
"Jesus baby, let's keep your head intact alright?" he jokes, pulling you into him with one hand, placing it protectively on the back of your head as you bury your face into the crook of his neck while his finger traces your entrance. Your brain buzzes with electricity and you forget that just seconds before you were tugging at Steves jeans, but then he touched you.Â
He circles your hole a few times, before easily sliding one of his fingers into you. You whine, open mouth, almost drooling where your mouth hovers against Steves skin. He leans back slightly, chin touching his chest to catch a glimpse at you to make sure the noise he heard come out of you wasn't a sob. But the thought of you crying because of his fingers? He can't imagine what it would be like to have you and your pussy crying on his cock.
"Feel good?" He teases.Â
"So good" You moan, lifting your head from his neck, staring down to watch his finger curl into you. Forcing yourself to look away to continue your attention to his jeans. Hands shaky has they slip his belt through the loops, pulling at the button of his jeans and tugging the zipper down. You try your best to push his pants down enough to get your hand in so you can finally feel his cock but he's distracting.Â
"F-fuck" you mewl, and it's high pitch and girly, and if you were alone you'd cringe at the sound.Â
"Need some help?" Steve offers, stopping his movements and slowly removing his fingers from you, shiny and slick as he helps you to free his aching cock.Â
"Thank you" you whisper. Once his cock is free you wrap your hand around him, thick, hot and heavy in your palm and he groans, tilting his head back a little before reaching a hand up to tap your cheek, ripping your gaze away from your hand to his eyes.Â
"Open" hes looking down at you through his lashes, cheeks flushed a perfect pink and his chest moves quickly while you continue to jerk him off. You listen, opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out and Steve huffs out a laugh as he slowly slides his two fingers into your mouth. The ones that were just buried in your cunt. You lap at them greedily, body buzzing from the approval when Steves hums in delight, head tiling to watch your mouth.Â
You pull his fingers from your mouth with gasp. "I have an idea"
Steve raises a brow as you push forward until you slide off of the counter, turning around so your ass is how facing him, both of you looking at each other through the reflection of the mirror. Watching you as you lean your hips against the counter, pulling him towards you by his belt until he's almost touching you. Reaching behind you, you take his cock into your hand, stepping onto your tippy toes until its slid between your thighs, pressed against your leaking pussy.Â
"Fucking without fucking" you say with a smile. Your hand presses lightly against him so the tip of his cock stays connected to you while Steve moves his hips.Â
Sliding through your folds over and over as he mimics how he'd snap his hips against you if he were able to fuck you properly. It's probably the hottest things Steve has ever done with anyone, and he knows that he will think about this every single day until the day he dies, and he's absolutely content with that.Â
His hands move to your hips, where he grips you tightly. Your dress sliding up with each thrust until the swell of your ass is exposed before him. Rippling with each thrust against his lower half, and he tries to stop himself, he does, but he can't. He lets his palm come down on your right cheek, a little harsh, and goes to apologize but the way your knees shake, and the moan that slips out from you tells him you liked it.Â
"M'so c-close Steve" you force out. Your cheek is pressed against the cold marble top of the counter, and you're pretty sure you're drooling onto it but you couldn't care less with how good Steve is making you feel. "Steve I-" You can barely keep your legs up, but your trying.Â
"Help" you whimper, and Steve knows what you need immediately. Wrapping a large arm around your waist, holding up most of your weight while still snapping his hips.Â
"I got ya pretty girl" he mumbles into the skin of your shoulder.Â
"Are you gunna cum Stevie?" You moan, silently begging he's as close as you are.Â
"So close" he grunts. "Wanna see that face of yours when you cum, can you do that for me?" He asks sliding his hand into your hair until he's got a tight grip on the roots, tugging gently to instruct you to lift your head up. He doesn't want to be too rough with you just yet, not when you haven't properly been able to have that conversation.Â
Lifting your head with his direction until you're forced to look at yourself and Steve in the mirror. He looks so pretty, face flushed, mouth slightly agape, his bottom lip slick with saliva. You could cry at how pretty he was.Â
"Steve, Steve, st-eve, I'm gun-NAH!" you cum hard, all over your hand and his cock. Thighs trembling.Â
"Fuck you're so hot" Steve mutters. "Gunna cum sweetheart where do-"
"On me, please I want it on me" You say almost frantically. Steve turns your around, helping you sit back up onto the counter so your legs are spread and he's stationed between them. Pumping his cock fast, the noise crude as it echos around the bathroom, slick with your arousal.Â
"Fuck, fuck baby" Steve says through gritted teeth.
And you're smiling, and nodding, eyes glassed over and so fucked out, and he thinks he might marry you seeing the way you want him, and his cum so badly. He loses it when your hand joins his around him with those final few pumps, and his cum shoots across your stomach dripping down your connected hands to the base of his cock.Â
He's panting and smiling, and trying to hold back a laugh, watching the way his cum drips down your body, down between the crease where your thigh meets hip, lazily flowing down to join the mess between your legs.Â
You giggle, bottom lip tucked between your teeth as you wait till Steve finally looks up at you.Â
"You're insane" he laughs, grabbing your face with both hands and kisses you quick.Â
"Only a little" you say between kisses. "Take me home?" you ask bravely.Â
"Anywhere" Steve says quickly. he tugs his jeans back up, stuffing himself back into his pants, and adjusts his belt. You hop down from the counter and attempt to fix your hair so it looks a little better. Kicking one foot up behind you, you tug your panties off your ankle and turn to face Steve, shoving them into the front pocket of his jeans. Steve swoons at the sly look in your eyes, and the way you didn't even attempt to clean his cum off of you when the two of you turn to leave the quiet confines of the bathroom.
You giggle again when he interlocks his fingers with yours, letting him pull you along through the sea of people and out onto the front lawn down the street and only a few blocks away until you reached Steves house.Â
"Yeah"  Steve thought. "I'm gunna marry her"
thanks for reading! <3
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