#i had my specific songs i really liked off of it like cws hits different yoyok and maroon but i was pretty mid on most of it

[dialdrunk]

based on what i've heard about the leaks i will only be slightly insufferable later

[embrassemoi]

Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 21

Pairings: Sirius B, Remus L, [F]Reader      CW: Language, unbeta'd, filler   Songs: T.Rex - Get It On and ABBA - I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do

Important question, are you guys team Remus or Sirius so far? 

【 Masterlist: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter 】

Chapter 21: I Do 

━━━━━━━━━༻☽༺━━━━━━━━━

March 10th, 1976

‘So let’s dance,

Take a chance,

Understand me,

You’re dirty, sweet and you’re my girl,

Get it on, bang a gong, get it on…’

The Marauders were a talented group, nobody could deny that. They all had their own strengths: Remus was incredibly smart and bloody talented at every class he was in. Peter was beyond amazing at baking and making people feel seen — wanted. James’ Quidditch skills could land him a position on an actual team and he was someone you could always rely on. Sirius — she had to admit — was brilliant at caring for magical creatures and quick as a whip. But together, they knew how to throw a good party.

Remus’ birthday was split into two different parties. The first party was the Marauders embarrassing him in the common room; gathering students from all different houses and making them sing happy birthday loudly. The Marauders led the song but puberty had been hitting James hard as his voice cracked, going half an octave higher which caused Remus to weep. At one point, they managed to get ahold of fireworks and set it off by accident, which Lily then deduced points from. A large cake was produced, courtesy of Peter, before they hauled him up in their dorm for the second party — one for close friends. She, along with the rest of the girls was invited, all bearing gifts.

Lily wore a deep purple crochet dress, as striking as ever. Mary’s curly hair haloed around her face, charming her eyelashes to make them long and fluffy, giving her a doll-like appearance. Marlene dressed casually, ditched her braids and Dorcas wore bright red overalls.

Because Oats was still too young, both she and Sirius decided that tonight, Oats was to stay in Y/N’s room. Everyone had been joking about them being divorced parents fighting over custody, but it really felt like it. Sirius was so attached and now offered — no — was incredibly persistent to keep it full-time until the assignment was over;

“Please, PLEASE let me have 'em.”

“You dolt. You said you didn’t want Oats in the first place!”

“I’m a changed man, I swear.” “No —”

He clapped his hands together, pleading with his best puppy dog eyes, he begged. “Pleaseee!”

“Sirius! Pipe down! We’re in the library!”

“Not until you say yes, dipshit! I’m a father! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE —”

They were getting odd stares and Y/N waved her hands to get him to calm down but it didn’t work. “For fuck sake! Sure! Stop bothering me!”

She shook her head, ridding the memory.

“Happy birthday,” Y/N mused, dropping down to sit with Remus on his bed. They watched as everyone in the room danced. Once, she recalled the Purebloods, specifically Sirius and James, had to take dance lessons when they were younger for balls and galas. Sirius mentioned he knew multiple types of dances but mostly ballroom. That was a blatant lie because the way his body swayed to the music as he danced with Mary — that definitely wasn’t ballroom. Too many thoughts piled into her head that she wouldn’t dare say out loud and ignored the feeling of her heart leaping. “Brough a gift.”

“You didn’t need to,” Remus took the bag but then quickly added, “But I really appreciate it. Thank you so much.”

“Stop being modest — just open it.”

He opened the bag, pulling out the sweater as a huge smile, big and bright filled his face. “No way! You knitted me a jumper?!”

“I learned from the best.”

For the past two days, Y/N became increasingly frustrated and eventually succumbed to magic to help make the sweater look like an actual sweater. The holes and spots that were too large or small became the same size and whole.

Remus gaped and he hurriedly pulled it over his head, covering his long-sleeve shirt. The sweater was loose in certain areas, like the arms, but either than that, fit perfectly. She visibly relaxed, pleased her hard work had paid off.

“Wow — it’s grand! Thank you.” Remus really did look dashing, the colour suiting the undertones of his skin nicely.

“You’re more than welcome.” She went to rest her head on his shoulder, comforted by how warm Remus’ body temperature ran.

They chatted quietly for some time, letting Remus geek out over a new book. A few times, he’d stop, becoming a bit shy but Y/N encouraged him to keep going.

Once the T.Rex song blared its final bars in the background, someone spun on another record.

‘Love me or leave me, make your choice but believe me,

I love you

I do, I do, I do, I do, I do’

“Who the fuck put ABBA on?!” Remus moaned.

“C’mon, love,” Lily went up to him, a teasing tone to her voice. She hauled him to his feet, “Care for a dance?”

‘Oh, no hard feelings between you and me,

If we can’t make it, but just wait and see’

Glee shot around the room as Remus was unsteady on his feet but managed to clumsy twirl Lily. She snorted, swinging him around. Everyone watched Remus cling onto her for dear life to not have Lily flying to the other side of the room. Once Y/N’s fit died down, the first person that she looked to subconsciously was Sirius who looked back. All she wanted to do was inch closer, and the idea made her feel both excited and appalled.

They averted their gazes a little too quickly to be considered normal once they snapped out of their daze.

‘I can't conceal it, don't you see, can't you feel it?

Don't you too?

I do, I do, I do, I do, I do’

“Accio camera!” Marlene shouted, grabbing Y/N’s Polaroid that she brought, forcing everyone to take a photo.

They all huddled up around the bed but Remus protested about how he wasn’t photogenic but everyone shushed him, unable to further object. Y/N got to her feet, about to position herself to take the photo before they shouted at her.

“If I’m taking a photo,” Remus cuts in, “Then you are too.”

Mary flickered her wand and the camera flew from her grasp as it floated above, ready to take the shot. Y/N ran up to the group, besides Sirius but they had to press together so they’d all fit in the frame.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got enough good looks to share between the both of us,” Sirius whispered.

“Asshole.”

“Okay! In three… two… one…!

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY REMUS!” “— MOONY!”

When they snapped the photo, they duplicated it — one for each person. Y/N didn’t bother to look at it until she got back to her dorm that night, tired and groggy.

Mary’s arm was sung around both Marlene and Dorcas, James and Peter were poking Remus’ cheek — Remus’ smile was dazzling, blushing madly. Lily threw up peace signs, getting her to hold one up but Sirius — Sirius was caught watching Y/N — so tenderly that she was sure she was envisioning it — but then he quickly looked up to the camera, wearing a smirk.

‘I do, I do, I do, I do, I do’

[apprentice-maliya]

the things you don’t say, i’ll make them mine

pairing: asra/mali’ya cw: none, just some pre-plague, light angst and fluff because i am self-indulgent and i missed them. also stargazing (kinda). enjoy ! word count: 2.2k song(s): lover and the archer by taylor swift

With a snap of Asra’s fingers, the candles in the shop lit up all at once. The sudden light was almost blinding in their eyes, still used to the dark shades of the storm hovering above the city that merged into the soft, pink and orange hues of sundown. Behind him, Mali’ya sealed the door with a spell so that the rain wouldn’t get in, leaving at least the shop alone and dry.

The golden mark was still glowing on the wooden surface when she turned to her friend, pleased to see that he had already put the bags in a corner where they wouldn’t bother them. In the meantime, Faust had slowly emerged from the worn-out scarf he was wearing, and was now taking a careful peek at her surroundings.

Asra laughed, shaking his head to let the raindrops fall away from his white curls. “That was close.”

“Please don’t do that,” Mali’ya said, though she was soon betrayed by her own amusement when a small smile appeared on her lips. She gladly accepted Asra’s hands holding hers, shivering when the heat coming from his warming spell dried out any trace of damp in her clothes and her hair as well. Once he was done, Mali’ya sighed in relief.

“We should clean up,” she suggested, taking off her shoes since, in the hurry of getting inside and taking refuge from the storm, she’d forgotten to. “I’m sure we left some mud when we walked in.”

Asra waved a hand as to dismiss the option. “Or we could get away with it with little to no effort,” he suggested before the stains disappeared from the blue-coloured tiles with another snap of fingers, as if they’d never been there in the first place.

He rubbed his hands one against the other, giving her a satisfied look. “Easy peasy, right?” Asra grinned. “Now, let’s set up camp for the night.”

Mali’ya stared at the floor—she still wasn’t that accustomed to using magic to solve even the smallest inconvenience, and it showed—but upon hearing that, she glanced at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Rummaging in their bags as he was probably searching for their blankets, Asra shrugged. “Seems like a waste of a lovely night to me, don’t you think?”

She could tell he was smiling while saying that, still Mali’ya hesitated. It wasn’t like she didn’t appreciate the idea; on the contrary, she was eager to see what Asra had in store for her with that change of plans. After all, aside from the couple of nights she��d slept in the wild, on the run to Vesuvia with her aunt and her girlfriend, Mali’ya had no idea what camping really implied: Asra had told her about gathering your own food, sharing stories around the fireplace and stargazing as though it was nothing out of the ordinary for him, and, in hindsight, Mali’ya now realised that wasn’t but his everyday life. The life of someone who had nothing else in the world but himself.

In comparison, the years she’d spent in Venterre were a walk in the park.

Would you like to come live with me?

Her lips parted without her thinking. Once, almost a year back from that moment―a lifetime, really―her aunt had asked her that same, exact question. For the first time someone had brought up the possibility for her to dream, provided the instruments for her to make her own choices, and there she was, months later, living her happiest days in a place she’d learnt to call home.

All of that because at some point, someone cared.

It was truly that simple.

I could ask him now.

“Besides,” Asra added, silently commanding one end of a jute string to tie itself around the knob of the backroom door, before he pointed his digits towards the entrance handle for the other end to do the same, “I wanted to show you some cool tricks.”

Mali’ya watched as he tossed a sheet over the tensed thread, thinking that they definitely needed something heavy to secure the cloth on the floor if they wanted something close to a tent-shaped, homemade fort, or even one of her bedsheets so it would be easier to make it wider and more comfortable for the two of them.

All things considered, there was enough space in her room for another bed.

Finally, she spoke. “We should ask aunt—”

A voice coming down from the stairs interrupted her mid-sentence, before the thin silhouette of her tutor, neatly wrapped up in her frilly pink housecoat, appeared on the landing. “Ask me what?” She inquired, throwing them an inquisitive though sleepy glance.

“Sorry for waking you.” Mali’ya immediately apologised, bending down the string to approach her. “We were on the way to the clearing you showed us last time when the storm hit, and then we...”

In that moment, as to prove the truth in her words, a thunder echoed above them, followed by the even more violent sloshing of rainpour against the rooftop. Heralia looked up with a sigh, not at all impressed with the tantrums of summer, then noticed the blanket hanging sideways on the jute thread. “And I get that you don’t intend to give up on your stargazing, is that right?”

“That was my idea,” Asra stepped in, kneeling down to place one of the doorstops on the hem of the blanket. “You suggested that we studied the constellations in detail since the sky is clearer and it’s meteor shower season. Shall we perhaps postpone our lesson?” he challenged her, staring at his mentor with an innocent smile and a cunning glint in the eyes.

Heralia scoffed. “Do as you please, I don’t care.” A yawn ran past her lips, so she turned around with a shrug to climb up the stairs and go back to the comfort of her bed. “Just make sure you fall asleep at a reasonable hour and put everything back in place before opening, tomorrow.”

“We will, I promise.” Mali’ya nodded, surprised at how easily her aunt had given in this time. “Thank you, and goodnight.” Heralia hummed something in return that she didn’t quite catch, but since her mentor didn’t repeat herself Mali’ya supposed it was nothing important.

Clasping her hands together, she looked down at Faust, who was slithering around freely on the floor now that her aunt was gone. “Wait,” she told Asra, “Let’s use my bedsheets for the tent.”

- - -

Half an hour later, sitting comfortably amongst soft pillows and a couple of warm blankets, Mali’ya traced carefully each word printed on the astronomy book that lied open on her lap.

“What is…” she started, squinting in the dim glow of the small ball of light floating just above Asra’s hand. “What is an ‘Equinox’?”

“That’s when day and night have more or less the same duration,” he explained, stretching his limbs by her side like a cat that just woke up after a long nap. He couldn’t help a yawn. “Equinoxes mark the start of spring and autumn, so they happen twice a year.”

At that, something in Mali’ya’s chest fluttered with triumph. “Oh! I think I got it.”

With half-lidded eyes, Asra followed the movements of the quill in her personal journal as she wrote down the definition. “You want me to spell it out for you?”

“Yes, please.” Her voice was nothing but a bashful whisper.

A hand ran up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she nodded again, jade eyes steady on every letter in fear of messing them up. He couldn't really see it, but a hint of blush painted her cheeks with something akin to shame; there was still so much she had to learn after all, and since Asra was way ahead of her in terms of magic knowledge, she always felt like she was only slowing him down.

“How do you say that in Venterrean?”

She didn’t even lift her eyes from the page. “Rivnodennya.”

Her handwriting was still unsure, he noticed from where he was lying, almost childlike and adorned with ink stains and spelling mistakes; but despite that, a pleased little smile had come to grace her lips, together with a quiet satisfaction that danced in her eyes every time she made some progress. Shyly, a pair of small dimples also appeared on her freckled cheeks, matching his own.

Pretty.

“And Solstice?”

Mali’ya still wasn’t looking at him, and a moment passed before she was done writing. Finally, she closed her handwritten dictionary with a soft thud. “Sorry, I don’t know what that means.”

Asra smiled, shaking his head with a light huff, before eventually giving up on lying on the blanket so he could sit up and borrow the astronomy book from her.

“I told you, you don’t have to apologise for every word you don’t know.” He flipped a couple of pages like he meant to find a specific chapter or image; peeking at him, Mali’ya couldn’t help but notice how the words slid under his eyes without him even noticing them. Just how much did he know on the matter? And who taught him all that, given that he was only a year and a half older than her?

Asra was such a mystery, she thought. He possessed extraordinary talent and a unique predisposition for magic, was resourceful and clever, but nobody seemed to have acknowledged that yet. In her modest opinion, his shine would only have gone to waste, had him kept busying himself with their lessons.

In the end, Mali’ya saw him settle for a star chart.

If only I wasn’t such a slow learner. Mother always said I―

To her surprise, Asra set the book aside and reached for one of their bags. “Solstice marks the first day of winter and summer, by the way.”

She was still lost in thought when she answered, “That’s sontsestoyannya.”

“Oh,” was all he managed to say as he handed her a smaller bag, the one filled with the berries they’d picked on their way to the woods just the other day. “Sounds complicated. Vesuvian is pretty different from Venterrean, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Mali’ya agreed, taking out a single blueberry from the sack. It was soft and full between her digits and the rind was just the perfect nuance of indigo any ripe fruit should be. It would’ve taken a single, light squeeze to smash it.

“So is Zadithi.”

It was a statement so soft, a whisper so nostalgic, she almost didn’t catch it.

Asra had his eyes fixed before him, though he didn’t seem to be actually seeing whichever thing he was looking at. Faust, who’d been napping among the creases in the blankets, had probably sensed his discomfort since immediately, though ever so gently, she slithered up around his arm as to console him.

Arms around his knees to make himself smaller, a stare that spoke to none―he looked much older than his fifteen years of age, but also somewhat younger, the way when a self-made teen grows up too fast; an inner child whose heart, she was sure, ached for something he would hardly get back.

In the silence of the night, Mali’ya began to understand. Why she’d been drawn to him since that morning at the market. Why she always felt so at ease around him, even though she’d only known him for a few months. She had never been able to notice that before, because both of them were just dancing around the other; trying to see if they could really let their guards down.

They really weren’t that different, then.

Wait.

All of sudden, a realisation―raw hope―pushed anything else aside.

Silence?

“Asra,” she called, her tone urgent and bright all the same. Hurriedly, but as not to startle him, her hand ghosted on his forearm. “The rain. It stopped.”

Not minding the sheets rustling under her knees after her eagerness, Mali’ya crawled out of their makeshift tent but stopped half-way, turning to Asra with an outstretched hand.

“Come,” she smiled, in a way she hoped it said I see you. You don’t have to be alone. “Let’s go see the stars!”

The cold, humid air that followed storms was pleasing on her skin as she unlocked the seal, letting the breeze in while Asra handed her one end of the blanket. Still on the doorstep, Mali’ya watched as her breath formed uneven clouds of steam.

“The sky’s clearing up,” Asra whispered beside her.

The holiness of it all, of the dead of a midsummer’s night, was enough to keep their voices low.  Everything was painted in delicate shades of black and blue, and as they huddled close to one another, Mali’ya and Asra waited for the stars to show up.

Little by little, on the dark, empty canvas around the moon, a faint white dot appeared. Alone at first, it was soon followed by another, and another again, while the wind gently pushed the clouds aside to offer the city, and the few bystanders still wandering around―or standing on a threshold with their hands so close they almost touched―a sky so wide and mighty.

ao3 link

[achliegh]

Golden

FEEL FREE TO SEND ME ASKS ABOUT HOW YOU LIKED THAT CHAPTER

OR IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT PLEASE TELL ME WHY

THANK :)

Yeehaw Leo… it's all because this song came on one day (I don’t even really listen to country anymore so it really is fate). Leo is based off that song, each chapter is going to be based off a yeehaw song too.

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Beta: @the-most-slyterin-hufflepuff & @punkkkboi

TW/CW: Smut, terrible yeehaw sayings and jokes, injuries, mentions of past death/suicide, minor character death, underage drinking, mentions of past arrests, cringe

Chapter Songs (listening in order is recommended):

Chapter 13:

Anchors Away

Clay was bored, wandering around the mall with nothing to do. Thomas was at practice, Noelle was at work at the aquarium. He was alone again and he really didn’t like it. Leo was busy cleaning the apartment for his mom who is showing up later tonight and Reg was hanging out at the rink.

Clay thought about going to the rink but everytime he goes for longer than 20 minutes he gets a head cold. He was walking past a recently closed store and heard faint music coming from inside. He walked in and noticed a small table set up with two men who were jokingly singing along to the song.

Clay took note of all the posters around the small store.

‘Feeling like you need a purpose in life?’ Yeah, he does. Everyone around him is doing actual things with their lives. Reg has started going to art school for errotic photography and portraits. Leo has been selling horses over video calls with rich clients and helping his mother set up times for the clients to go down and visit the horses at the ranch. Obviously, the hockey boys are playing hockey. Noelle is a year away from graduating and was recently promoted, and Clay just kind of existed…

Leo jokingly called him a houseboy when he mentioned how he just stays at home and cleans, now that's all he is ever called by Leo and Reg and it really makes Clay feel worthless. He knows they don’t mean anything by it but…. It still stings.

He moves on to the next poster. “Want financial benefits, healthcare, and more?”

That would be nice, to make his own money for once instead of his parents randomly filling his account with too much money. Something he knows he shouldn’t complain about but he wants to make a name for himself.

‘Join the U.S Navy.’ He paused, he doesn’t know a lot about his birth family, but he does know they were in the military. He has no clue which branch and he knows if he asked his parents they would help him in a heartbeat. But maybe this was a way to find out on his own.

He left the mall feeling lighter, a pep in his step.

He just enlisted in the navy. He was going to make something of himself and maybe even feel like he isn’t just watching his friends and partners pass him by.

Then it hit him, the one thing Leo and him promised each other they would never do is join the military. Because they both know how it fucks people up. Leo lost his uncle, and Clay’s dad lost his own father to PTSD from not having proper care after. Maybe he just screwed up…. But there was no going back now. He wouldn’t.

Walking in the house, Noelle was looking beautiful. She was wearing a pair of sweats rolled up twice at the waist and one of Clay’s old ratty t-shirts. Her curly hair was in her normal ponytail and she was putting on her sneakers. She looked tired from work.

Earlier in the week when Clay and Leo announced Eloise was coming to visit for a few days Noelle started stressing immediately. She has always worried about meeting parents because they always seem to dislike her when they first lay eyes on her, she blames it on her chronic RBF. Clay reassured her that Eloise would love her and actually already loves her from all the stories Clay has told her on her weekly calls.

Eloise was coming tonight, fuck! It was his birthday today and he forgot to mention it! Oops...

Thomas was sitting next to her, freshly showered in his own sweats and t-shirt looking relaxed, he was wearing some socks with little hamsters on them that Clay found for him a while ago. It made his heart jump and he felt his face stretch into a smile. He was scrolling through his phone and Thomas’ whole face opened up in a bright smile as soon as he saw Clay. He made Clay feel so special in a specific way, a way that is so different from how Noelle does and he loves them both.

He needs to tell them that.

“I have something to tell you guys… honestly, I don’t know how you will react but what's done is done.” He puts his hands in his jean pockets and taps the hell of his boots to the toe of his other boot. He was fidgeting and knew the other two noticed. It made him even more nervous.

“That doesn’t sound like good news.” Thomas looks at him a bit worried. His smile was still there but it fell slightly and Clay just wanted to fix it. He noticed Noelle had paused stomping on her shoes, oddly similar to Logan, it made him want to stop what he was going to say but… communication is important!

“Well, I first need you guys to promise me something, then I will make Finn and Logan promise the same thing when we see them because I know I will have to tell them.” He has to tell them, so they are ready for Leo just, not being okay.

And it was all gonna be Clay’s fault.

“What's the promise?” Noelle finishes putting on her shoe and looks up at him. She is trying her best to keep her face neutral but he could tell the wheels were turning in her brain.

“Do not tell Leo, I need to be the one to tell him… and I know he isn’t going to react well. Same goes for Reg but I will probably tell him a lot sooner than Leo.” He keeps on switching his feet that he is tapping and finally looks at them.

It’s now or never.

“I enlisted in the navy today.”

“Okay, Reg and I are going to pick up Ma and then we will be right back!” Leo has been all smiles all day. Finn knew he was close to his mom but this is just adorable.

“Drive safe!” Leo and Reg wave as they leave the apartment and as soon as the door closes Clay is standing in front of Finn and Logan who are snuggled together on the couch. Logan was wrapped up in Leo’s favorite blanket that his grandpa made for him before he passed away. It was a woven blanket with an image of Peanut on it. That blanket has seen Leo and Clay in their worst moments.

He was surprised Logan wasn’t scared of it given his fear of horses.

“Alright you two, I need to tell you something and it needs to be kept secret from Leo and Reg, if you so much as tell them a peep I will never forgive you. That will make family reunions super awkward.” Finn looks up from his phone where he and Logan were reading the comments on their latest tiktok on their joined account.

“Don’t look at me.” Finn raises his hand on surrender and looks at Logan who rolls his eyes annoyed and snatches Finn’s phone away to keep reading the comments.

“I enlisted in the navy-” Clay didn’t even get the full sentence out before Logan had thrown the phone down on the cushion next to him and Finn covered his mouth with his hand looking shocked.

“YOU DID WHAT?”

“Mama!” Leo hugs Eloise tightly as she drops her bags to hug him back. “How was the flight?” He squeezes her tightly before noticing her new hearing aid is flashing is three blinks then a pause and three more blinks. “I think your hearing aid is dying. Make sure to charge them when we get home.” She either ignores him or doesn’t hear him even though she can normally hear him this close.

“Rick was a great pilot as always, even let me bring y’all some moonshine he made. It's watermelon and raspberry!.” Eloise pulls away after one last squeeze and sees Reg and her smile widens. “Reg! I’m so happy you’re here!” She waits for him to open his arms as an invitation to hug him so she knows he is comfortable with her touching him and she does as soon as he opens his arms. Tighter than she did Leo. “Have you been eating well? How about sleeping? Did you ever enroll in college?”

“Yes, yes and yes.” Reg can’t help but laugh when she picks him up still hugging him and sways him around. He isn’t used to this much affection from a mother figure but… they love it.

“I’m so proud of you for following your dream.” She pulls away and smiles at him with a sincere smile and brushes his hair back. “Your hair looks nice by the way.”

“Thank you.” Reg and Leo help her with her bags and pack them into the truck and drive the short way back to the apartment. Talking about everything and anything. The door man sends a wink Eloise’s way and she holds up her left hand where her wedding ring is. Letting him know she is taken. Walking up to the apartment they smell an odd smell through the door and everyone shares a look.

“I promise it doesn't normally smell this way unless… oh no.”

“What does that mean!?” She leans over to Reg to whisper as Leo fiddles with his key in the lock.

“It means Finn and Logan tried to cook something.” Reg whispers to Eloise as Leo opens the door, Clay was the first to greet them, smiling his million dollar smile he hugs Elosie so tight it surprises her.

“Hello Bluebell! I was surprised I didn’t see you at the airport. How are you doing sweetheart! Twenty years old today! You’re all growing up so fast.” She kisses his forehead and they pull apart. “You look good. Your mother wants you to call her later tonight so she can sing happy birthday.”

“It's your birthday!” Noelle pipes up and looks at Clay offended. “And you didn’t tell us!” He cringes before turning to her.

“Oh, I guess I forgot.” He walks over to her and kisses her cheek while Eloise puts her hand on her chest from just how cute they are.

“Seems like that should have been the first thing you told us this morning instead of, ‘ I feel like a jellyfish’.” Thomas laughs a little and kisses both Noelle and Clay’s cheeks. “So cute.”

“It slipped my mind!”

“Okay, what is that smell?” Leo leads Eloise towards the kitchen after she is done fawning over how cute those three are. Finn and Logan are suspiciously standing in the way of the countertop right next to the stove. “What are you hiding?”

Finn turns bright red and Logan looks anywhere but Leo. Eloise sets her purse on the counter and walks over to them, giving them both kisses on the cheek.

“What did you make us?”

“Well… we tried to make a cake from your cookbook-”

“It didn’t go very well.” They both move to the side to reveal a lopsided cake with some diluted frosting dripping off and random coconut flakes floating around on it. “Can you at least tell what it is?” Logan casually turned the plate so the ‘good side’ was facing Leo and Eloise.

“Umm… not really. Do you mind just telling us?” Eliose was examining the cake, trying to figure out what cinnamon cake she had in her cookbook. None that she can remember.

“Something called,” Finn walks over to the book and notices Clay and Reg standing to the side with their phones up and probably recording. “Divinity Cake.” The room was suddenly really still and quiet. Eloise looked like she was about to cry and Leo was just staring at the cake in shock.

Then Eloise brokedown in laughter, to the point where she was laughing so hard she was on the ground holding her stomach and crying. Finn and Logan were visibly confused and looked to Leo for an explanation, only to find him trying to conceal his laughter in the crooks of his arm.

“Oh my god! What is so funny?” Logan looks at the cookbook and then back at the cake. It looked terrible but they tried their best! They didn’t burn the house down at least.

“Oh my lovely lovely boys.” Leo wraps an arm around both their shoulders and pulls them in close so they are all cheek to cheek for a moment. “Divinity cake is usually cooked for your in-laws in the south.. To prove you are worthy of being a good wife.” explains through his laughing breaks. “This is amazing.”

Eloise eventually stands up and dabs her eyes so she doesn’t smear her makeup. Pulling the two embarrassed boys into a tight hug. “Y’all are so sweet. Thank you for the cake.” She gives them both sloppy kisses on the cheeks and then pats where she just kissed. “Alright I’m going to put my things in the guest room and then we can cook something up for y’all to eat.” She smiles and takes most of her bags to the guest room but forgets her purse. “Finn, would you be a dear and grab my purse for me?” She calls out and Finn being the sweetheart he is, grabs the bag and tries to take it with him as he walks past.

The bag won’t budge, Leo is watching with a smile on his face and his arms crossed. Finn tugs at the bag again and eventually gets it off the counter, it nearly knocks him over with how heavy it is. He scurried to Eloise’s room and gave it to her. She holds it like it’s nothing.

He makes his way back over to Leo and sinks into his chest, his face buried in his neck. Logan is still poking the cake, showing off just how gelatinous it is. Clay and Reg are comparing videos that they took and laughing at how they zoomed in on different faces. Sending them to each other.

“I’m sorry we messed up the cake.” Finn looks up at Leo and sees the sweetest little smile, showing his dimples off. Finn has noticed Leo’s tan from the summer is fading and it is making the small scar across his nose more prominent. It was cute.

“Honestly, it’s better than anything else y’all have made. Plus, now Mama can teach you how to make it the right way for the next time she visits.” Leo kisses his eyebrow and wraps his arms around him as Finn pouts even more. Logan eventually makes his way over and rests his head on Leo’s shoulder.

“Maybe it still tastes good?” He closes his eyes and rubs his cheek on Leo’s soft shirt and tough shoulder, massaging his jaw muscles. His arms are crossed.

“We can try it afte Mama and I make some food, how about y’all pick out what you want so she can put on her mini cooking show.” Leo feels the boys lean off of him and smiles as he watches them pour over each page of the book looking for a meal they want.

“Alright, I’m ready to cook.” Eloise comes back into the room and gathers everyone so they are sitting on the other side of the counter, unless they are Reg or Leo because they are allowed to help cook. Finn and Noelle have taken the two seats while Clay and Thomas are on either side of them watching and Logan is in between them.

They all watch as Eloise explains what she is doing in hopes it helps them understand and make them want to try and make this on their own. Logan gets in trouble for focusing on Leo instead of what she is teaching and she gives him a smirk.

“You remind me a lot of Wyatt, you know that? Around the same height too.” She smiles as she fiddles with her ring after she washed her hands to get the rest of the flour off her hands. Leo is watching the food in the oven as he leans against the counter and nods in agreement with her.

“I do?” Logan looks at her a little confused, he sadly never got the chance to meet Wyatt but he always pictured him as more of the strong and silent type who was also tall, giving Leo his extra few inches of height.

“He was 5’10 and the sweetest man I have ever met, he was goofy and carefree like Finn and always had this hard look in his eyes like you do. Unless he was looking at Leo or I, or in your case Leo. Please don’t look at me like that.” Leo snorts and smiles.

“That would be kinda weird.” He turns his head over his shoulder and smiles at his boys. “Why don’t we tell them some stories about dad? I never really talk about him because… well, it still hurts.” Eloise smiles a little sad at her son and gives his arm a comforting squeeze. Her love language.

“Well, he was in the air force.” She notices Clay looking away, Noelle suddenly looks uncomfortable and Thomas looks a little sad. Something was off. “He and his twin brother Wess joined at the same time, and flew fighter jets together. His brother was shot down and Wyatt made Leo promise to never join. After he came back he vowed to never leave again. He kept his promise.” She smiles at the image of him coming home still fresh in her mind. “He was in love with music, sometimes I think he loved music more than us. He tried to get Leo to learn how to play instruments but the poor boy is so tone deaf he couldn’t figure anything out.” She laughs a little as Leo smiles. “I remember when Leo was being taught the guitar Wyatt would be thrown into laughing fits when Leo would play the wrong chords and smile up at him like he just did something.”

“I thought I did!” Leo laughs a little and turns around to face everyone else. “Look It took me forever to learn rhythm, and now I can dance like there is no tomorrow… still can’t sing though.”

“Ahmen!” Clay pipes up and ducks as Leo throws a spoon at him.

“Shut up!”

“Wyatt did manage to teach Clay how to play fiddle somehow, do you still play?” Eloise checks the food in the oven and determines it's not done.

“I haven’t played since… yeah I haven’t played in a while.”

“He was so proud of you. Wyatt was also a sportsman. He loved sports, especially baseball. So when Leo came home and told Wyatt he joined the team, they went out back and played catch for, I don’t know, hours.”

“My arm was sore the next day.”

“He came to every single game of Leo’s besides one, and was his biggest fan. He made shirts with Leo’s player picture on them and wore them to every game. No matter how many times Leo begged him not to!” The timer goes off and Reg gets the food out of the oven.

“Is this done?” He asks, Eloise comes over to check and nods.

“Looks good! How about we eat?” She smiles and has everyone line up so she can dish it out for them.

Thomas and Noelle are getting ready to leave when Eloise asks Clay to join her outside. He gives them a worried look but follows her. Outside is cold, and there is a bit of snow on the railing of the balcony.

“Talk to me Clayton, something is wrong, I noticed it earlier.” She looks at him and taps her foot as he pulls out a cigarette and lights it. “Clayton.”

“I joined the navy, and I haven’t told Leo, and I ask that you don’t tell him either because he needs to hear this from me.” He is looking out at the traffic below so he doesn’t have to watch her face. He knows she is upset with him.

“Is that what you really want to do?” She walks up next to him and joins him in looking at the traffic. Clay has always admired how strong Eloise is, she has been through a hell of a lot and still has this calm and stable energy.

“Yes.”

“Then you made the right choice.” She turns and looks at him, smiling in a way that he knows is trying to hide her sadness. She ruffles his hair as he finishes his cig and puts it out on the bottom of his boot. “Have you told Noelle and Thomas?”

“Yeah.” He knows his short answers sound hostile but he wants to be away from this conversation.

“They support you?” She always makes sure he has support, it hurts sometimes. Like he can’t just get support himself and he always needs help.

“Yes.” She nods and walks back towards the door.

“Then you better spend as much time with them as you can.” She goes inside, leaving Clay to think about everything by himself.

It was dangerous.

He walks back inside and they leave. Noelle turns around from the passenger seat and smirks at Clay. He was in for a fun night.

“I’m off to bed boys, we have a busy day tomorrow!” Elosie kisses her boy's cheeks and walks to her room.

“I like you mom.” Logan says as he tackles Leo to the ground straddling his back with his scented markets in hand. He tugs at Leo’s shirt, he complies and takes it off. Logan has been dying to do this all day.

“I hope not too much!” Leo crosses his arms under his head until Finn sits down next to him and he pulls his thigh so it's underneath Leo’s head. Leo shivers as the cold marker hits his skin and Logan begins coloring.

“What other stories do you have about Wyatt?” Finn rubs his fingers over Leo’s short hair that has really grown out over the past month, it was starting to curl at the ends making Leo look sweet.

“He used to read to me when I was little, then when I was able to read I would read to him until he fell asleep and started snoring.” Leo smiles and Finn can feel it on his leg. “He was also my coach for little league baseball for a bit and he was great but not everyone liked that he was my dad. Other parents thought I was getting special treatment. Also he would argue with the umpires and get in trouble!” Leo bursts out laughing and Logan gorans.

“Leoooooooooo! Be still!” Leo calms down and lets Logan keep coloring the flowers of his back piece.

“Sorry sorry, I just remembered when he got kicked out of a game because an umpire called Clay out when he was safe. It was hilarious. He called the umpire a muppet.” Smiling Leo yawns and blinks a few times.

“You can fall asleep, we will wake you up and go to bed when Logan finishes.” Finn is scrolling on his phone and is petting Leo’s head as he feels it get heavier with sleep. Finn looks up at Logan after making sure Leo is asleep.

“We need to tell him we love him.”

“Yeah, we do.” They smile at each other and share a peck before going back to what they were doing.

The next morning Finn and Logan wake up with a Leo sized dent in the bed and not Leo. They wander out to the kitchen and get smacked in the face with the smell of blueberry pancakes. They float into the kitchen and smile at the sight. Eloise has her hair in curlers and is in a thick grey robe and Leo’s sweatpants because she doesn’t own a pair. Her face is free of makeup and it shows how well she has taken care of her skin over the years. She is flipping a couple of pancakes while Leo sips on some apple juice. Just chatting away about the plan for today.

“Okay so after family skate is the party at Pascal and Celeste’s.”

“I won’t be at family skate dear, I have some work to do today.” She puts the last pancake on a plate, making sure that each plate has two, she takes two plates over to the table while Leo carries the other two.

“Ma, you promised me you wouldn’t work while you were here.” He sighs and sets the plates down. He sighs and sits down, not noticing the other two people in the room, he starts poking at his pancakes with his cheek on his hand and elbow on the table. Sulking.

“I know sweetheart but these people are someone who your Daddy tried to sell to for years. They plan to get two mares and then I will be at the party. On time. I promise.” She puts the dishes from cooking in the sink and fills the pancake batter bowl with hot water before grabbing her cup of coffee and walking over to sit next to Leo.

Logan and Finn share a look. They shouldn’t be listening to this.

“Okay but, just please be there towards the beginning of the party. I want to introduce you to my-... the team.” Leo furrows his brow not understanding why he about called the lions his team, when he doesn’t even play hockey.

“I will try my best, Merigold.” She pats his hand and Logan and Finn make their entrance, yawning and stretching as they walk over to the table. “Morning boys.”

“Morning!” Finn smacks a kiss on Leo’s temple as he walks past and Logan does the same, taking their seats and chowing down.

Later that day Eloise was putting her hair in a ponytail as she checked to make sure there were no creases in her uniform. Well, it's not a uniform but what she likes her and Leo to wear when they go to sell.

A black tall-neck turtle neck with long sleeves and tight to the body. Some khaki colored riding pants with tall back socks and brown riding boots. Professional yet comfortable. She was selling to the Malfoy family today, the father is buying these mares for his sons wedding coming up. She is still convinced that they only want their mares because Wyatt is gone, making Knut horses more desirable.

They were in contact with Wyatt for years and were not very nice. She knows she needs to make this sale though. Walking out to the living room to grab her purse she sees Leo moping on the couch by himself. She sighs out of her nose, walking over to him and petting the top of his head.

“I promise I will be there tonight, with moonshine.” She smiles as Leo rolls his eyes.

“I trust you.” Then he stood and gave her good luck and a hug before walking back to his bedroom… not the master bedroom. She takes a deep breath and leaves the apartment.

The rink was cold, Leo was bundled up in his new coat, hat and gloves while rocking his normal jeans and boots. His brand new skates were in hand, not broken in so he was wearing two pairs of tall socks just to help against blisters. Clay actually owned a pair of skates and has been skating since he was younger because he has family in Montana that he would visit for the holidays.

Jerk.

Leo was sitting in Finn's stall just trying to stay warm while he watched Noelle tie one of Clay’s skates and Thomas tie the other. Leo had to admit, he was so happy for Clay, seeing him with that sappy smile makes Leo know that he’s okay. He never smiled like that with Ashley.

Logan walks over to him, completely ready to skate and looking good. He was wearing his favorite well worn sweats and Leo’s new thrifted sweater that was dark green, showing off his eyes. He was wearing his normal cap backwards and Leo has always found it funny that Logan will never wear a hat forwards.

“Ready to get laced up?” Leo nods and holds out a skate to Logan. “You’re very quiet right now, are you that cold?” Leo just narrows his eyes and gives a short nod. Logan shows him how to lace up and once his other skate is on he stands up and nearly falls over.

“This is going to be terrible… is there a dentist nearby? I have a tendency to fall teeth first into the ground.” Licking over his chipped tooth absentmindedly he looks around. There were kids running around in skates and jumping into other players arms. He smiles a bit and rests his elbow on Logan’s head who is wear much more worn down skates so Leo is a fucking giant to him. “You’re the perfect height.”

“Yeah yeah, lets watch you try and walk. Then we can find Finn who I’m guessing is talking to Syd.” Logan helps Leo take a few steps knowing Leo has no balance at all. In skates or not. He has witnessed this name trip over nothing.

“Whose Syd?” Leo starts walking on his own and feels like this isn’t so bad.

“My oldest sister. Aubry is here too. They also play professional hockey. So… don’t get on their bad sides.” Leo stops walking.

“You never mentioned your sisters will be here! I thought I was meeting them when we go to visit your parents in a week! Oh boy… Do they know about you and Finn?” Leo continues walking after Logan grabs his hand and leads him out of the tunnel.

“Yes they know about me and Finn, I told my family first because… well my parents love him and my sisters all had a bet so… yeah. But they don’t know about you because I didn’t know if you were ready for that.” Leo stops him before they completely exit the tunnel and presses him up against the wall, kissing him softly.

“Thank you.” Leo smiles when Logan does and they pull apart to see they are the last out of the tunnel. Walking out Leo stops in front of the ice. “Yo, I don’t know if I have enough ego to let me fall face first onto the ice in front of a whole hockey team yet.”

“What, you aren’t up for the challenge?” Clay skates right up to him, not as seamless as everyone else but still pretty well. He has this challenging look in his eyes and Leo knows exactly what is going to happen. “I knew you weren’t good at everything.” Leo launches himself at LCay who skates out of the way just in time for Leo to miss and barely holds himself up as he glides across the ice.

“Clay! When I get my hands on you, I swear!” Then he falls flat on his ass and gorans laying down, staring at the ceiling annoyed. This sucks.

Clay is having an absolute field day, Laughing his ass off as he skates up to Leo and helps him stand. Patting his back for a moment and letting Leo get his balance he then pushes him over and skates away.

“CLAYTON!” Leo falls basically into a middle split and it distracts Finn from his conversation with Logan and his sisters, hitting Logan’s chest until he looks over at Leo who is still being taunted by Clay and now Reg.

“I didn’t know he could do that.” They share a look and both seem to get ideas around the same time because their faces get all reg and they high five.

“Who is that?” Sydney is readjusting her hat as she looks at Leo. “He’s a cutie, I wouldn’t mind getting a piece of that.”

“Agreed. He is really handsome.” Aubry nods in agreement and Logan is suddenly possessive. He glares at them.

“Back off, he’s mine!” He crosses his arms and turns his attention back to Leo who is now talking to Katie who has made herself at home on his leg. Leo looks like he is trying his best not to shake from how cold he is.

“You have Finn, let us have our fun.” Aubrey hits his shoulder and skates over to Leo and Katie. “Need some help?” Katie smiles at her. Leo looks up at her and gives a shy smile because he is embarrassed. Nodding she holds out her hand, Katie grabs his other hand and helps him up. With Katie on one side and Aubry on the other, Leo starts more skating and less falling over.

“Awww they are so cuteeeee.” Sydney smiles at them and hears Logan grumble, looking at them annoyed and Finn is still snorting everytime Leo stumbles. But Finn has this look in his eyes that Sydney has only ever seen him give Logan. She hopes there isn’t anything shady going on between those three.

Eventually, Aubry and Leo stake back over to Finn, Logan and Sydeny who are all still chatting on the ice and sipping their hot chocolate that Celeste brought.

“Can I have a sip?” Logan holds up his cup over his shoulder to Leo’s lips, because Leo is behind him, and holds it as he takes a sip. “Mm, so yummy. I’ve never really had this before. Hot chocolate?” Leo doesn’t really drink warm drinks at all, even the coffee is normally cooled down to where it isn’t hot, sometimes iced.

“You should have Finn make you some, he is really good at it.” Finn kisses Logan's forehead and smiles.

“It’s like the one thing I learned how to make properly. Alex taught me! He is coming to the party later tonight if you want to meet him.”

“I’d love to meet him! Now, I’ve met Aubry. I’m guessing you are Sydney? Logan talks about you guys sometimes but I don’t know a lot.” Leo smiles at her and reaches his hand out to shake hers.

“You have a southern accent…” Aubry and her share a look.

Logan is definitely not keeping him from them.

[nvvermore]

Think of Me

First meetings and offered lessons between Amaryllis and Beatrice. (Featuring @juliandev0rak’s Beatrice)

words: 2191

cw: none

accompaniment

—

It was an uncharacteristically quiet day at the palace, notably absent of any petulant counts or melodramatic doctors. As much as Amaryllis enjoyed their friends— not that they’d admit to such a thing— they could be awfully disruptive to their rehearsals.

But not today. There was a gap in their schedule, as were still a few hours before their meeting with Nadia before dinner. The countess wanted to discuss some of the entertainment for the upcoming masquerade

That was what Amaryllis was currently taking extra time to prepare for. They had been holed up in their typical rehearsal room for the better part of the afternoon, and had been gradually coming to terms with the realization they had hit a block. Now, being stumped musically was not something that happened to Amaryllis. They would never claim that they were a genius per say, but they were exceptional at what they did, and had never struggled so long with plain lyrics. Fully enchanted arias had been composed and performed in less time than this one simple love song.

That was likely the problem, love songs. Nadia had mentioned that it would be lovely if Amaryllis prepare something specifically for her and Portia, seeing as it was the first masquerade they would be spending together as a couple, and Nadia was a dedicated romantic. The request didn’t require that they had to compose something entirely new, but their current repertoire in regards to romance was lacking. What Amaryllis had prepared were pieces that were wholly insincere, and it wouldn't sit well with them to pass them off as otherwise in regards to Portia and Nadia.

So here Amaryllis was, toiling over the piano. Copious amounts of staff paper, unused and hastily scribbled upon alike, had been spread out across the shut lid of the baby grand that occupied the room. They had been using the piano as a temporary desk as opposed to the actual desk on the other side of the room. It was likely that doing such a thing wasn't proper etiquette, but that was of little concern to them currently.

As the candles that illuminated the space around them slowly burned themselves down, Amaryllis fell into an unbroken system. Playing various notes and chords, arranging a melody in their mind, penciling it down on the staff, all done carefully, measure by measure. The accompaniment came easy; searching for the wording to complement it was not. Time passed with little acknowledgement from Amaryllis, no distractions had pulled them away from their fixation as of yet.

Currently, they were pacing around the piano, scrawled upon staff paper in hand. Amaryllis was casting a simple projection spell to play the keys from a distance, fingers moving in the air as if they were actually at the keys, while the corresponding notes sounded from the instrument. Singing in time with music as they moved, despite the complete discontent they felt with the lyrics.

In the middle of a measure, Amaryllis’s concentration was finally broken by an indistinct sound from the doorway behind them. The music ceases and before they've even turned to face the origin of the disturbance, they're already speaking.

“I really don’t have the time for you right now L—” They chide, but freeze once they see who’s really at the door. It's definitely not Lucio, and in hindsight he would have never been so reserved in his entrance. Instead, a woman stands in the open doorway, looking awfully guilty and terribly nervous.

“I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt! I was just leaving!” She blurts out as she starts to turn away.

“Wait,” Amaryllis calls out, making the woman pause, “I apologize. I was expecting an interruption to be from someone else.” Their mouth moves before they have the chance to overthink the action. Now that she's facing them again, Amaryllis gets a better look at her. They’ve seen her before around the palace, and admittedly, she’s caught their eye on more than one occasion.

She’s strikingly beautiful, with brown hair and hazel eyes, but Amaryllis has never been able to tell much else due to the green cloak that’s always draped around her shoulders. Internally, they feel a pang of insecurity in her presence— as far as they know she's never seen them face to face— and instinctively reach to pull their veil over their face. But it's not there, they’d left it in their room not expecting not to face anyone new. Amaryllis simply shrugs the gesture off, instead smiling a little too sincerely at their guest.

“Still, I shouldn't have been eavesdropping—”

“You can come in, there's no issue. My rehearsals are typically closed, but I could make an exception just for you.” Amaryllis watches closely as she slips through the door, shutting it behind her with a soft click. She was still exceptionally anxious, standing awkwardly against the door and fiddling with the clasp of her cloak. It's unusual, typically people find it to be inconsequential to interrupt their work. But she was clearly genuinely regretful, and Amaryllis was compelled to save any quips about snooping or intruding. “There’s no need to stand all the way over there, you know.”

The woman begins to shuffle over, posture still stiff despite the friendly smile on her lips. Amaryllis remains on the other side of the piano for now, in an effort to leave her space. Her gaze, while pointedly avoiding Amaryllis, falls onto the instrument between the two of them.

“This is a lovely piano. Oh! Did you know that they were originally named ‘gravicembalo col piano e forte’, which roughly translates to ‘soft and loud keyboard instrument.’” She explains eagerly, laying her hands on the lid of the piano.

“No actually, I didn't.” Amaryllis reaches over the piano and extends a hand in greeting. “I’m Amaryllis.” The woman stares at the offered hand for a moment and then quickly takes it in hers.

“I know, I've, um, seen you perform a few times now.” A simple shake before she lets go and her hand is back to fretting with a button on her cloak. “I-I’m Beatrice.” She adds.

“Ah, a fan then, Beatrice?” Amaryllis teases, entertained by the way Beatrice stumbles to come up with a response. “I've seen you around as well. It's a shame we've never had the chance for a proper introduction before now.” Elbow propped on the lid, Amaryllis leans forward and casually rests their scarred cheek in their palm.

“Really?” Beatrice sounds surprised, and Amaryllis only grins in response. “Well, it's nice to finally meet you.�� Her shoulders droop, but her fingers are still restless against her cloak.

“Was there something you needed from me?”

Beatrice looks up to them, still avoiding eye contact, confused. “What?”

“It seemed as if you were waiting at the door.”

“Oh! I- er, no I just let my curiosity get the best of me. I heard your singing and well, followed the sound all the way here.”

“Ah, then, did you enjoy what you were hearing?”

“Of course!”

“There's no need to flatter me, I’m well aware I’ve had better days.”

“No, no! You have a wonderful voice!” Beatrice looks so earnest, and Amaryllis has to hide their amused smile behind their hand. “I’ve always wished I could be better at singing, but I’m afraid I’ve never had proper instruction.”

“Is that so?” Beatrice nods. “Perhaps I could instruct you then?” The offer slips out before Amaryllis can muster up enough sense to stop it. Historically they were a terrible teacher, the concepts that made sense in their head never translate well. Why they would impulsively offer such a thing is beyond them.

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.” Not. “I have a clear schedule for tomorrow, if you aren’t busy.” No I don’t. Glancing to Beatrice, she looked as visibly nervous as Amaryllis felt. They were almost a little guilty that they were so practiced at masking their nerves.

“I’d love to learn from you, but I’m um, a little out of practice.”

“Isn’t that the entire point of learning?” Amaryllis slowly steps around the piano, running a palm across the smooth top as they go. Standing next to Beatrice requires them to look down, but she doesn’t seem too keen to return the gesture. Amaryllis places a finger under her chin and lifts until her eyes finally meet theirs. “I’m sure we can make a prima donna out of you yet.”

As Amaryllis grins down at her, Beatrice flushes red and pulls away from their touch. She keeps eye contact for only a moment longer, and as soon as her gaze is gone Amaryllis finds they already miss it. “Ah, you really think so?”

“Without a doubt, I can already tell from your speaking voice that you’ll sound beautiful. Singing isn’t very different from speaking, at its core. It’s something anyone can excel at, provided the right tools and proper practice.”

Beatrice beams. “Then I’d be honored to take lessons from you.”

“Excellent, then we’ll start tomorrow afternoon.” Amaryllis retrieves their sheet music from where they had abandoned it when Beatrice first came in. “For now, you’re free to sit and listen in while I work.”

“Actually, I’m already running late for an appointment, so I shouldn’t stay any longer.” Amaryllis wondered if that was why Beatrice had been so nervous, she was already late and they had to go and make it worse.

“Then I won’t keep you any longer. If your tardiness is a problem, tell them it was all my fault. It isn’t a lie either, if my siren song hadn’t lured you here, you would have never been late.”

Beatrice flushes again and trips over her words. “I-I’m sure that won't be necessary!”

“I’ll look forward to seeing you in here tomorrow, after lunch, then?”

“Yes, I’ll be there. Here.” She confirms, bounding back to the double doors. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Amaryllis.” Then, Beatrice clutches her skirts and curtseys awkwardly before rushing out of the room. Amaryllis is relieved that she doesn’t look back, because they couldn’t keep the wide-eyed smile off their face even if they tried. And they tried.

“Goodbye, Beatrice.” Amaryllis murmurs to the now empty doorway. Beatrice was entirely captivating, even after barely five minutes of conversation. They had seen glimpses of her all over the palace before, and if they had never had an excuse to meet before, who’s to say they ever would again? Even if it all goes awry, then at the very least Amaryllis could say they tried.

That was why they offered to instruct her, even though they had no experience— negative experience even— in doing so. Though, there were likely better established ways of socialising than vocal lessons, which didn’t really offer time for talking. But teas and lunches were boring and stuffy, and Beatrice seemed too sweet for a place like The Raven. It was probably better this way though, less opportunities for Amaryllis to mess up when delivering facts than when trying to figure out how to banter in a way that wasn’t completely fabricated.

Amaryllis plopped down on the piano bench with a groan, elbows very unceremoniously landing on the keys and in turn creating a cacophonous melody. Head in their hands, they rubbed at their temples out of habit, though truthfully they weren’t experiencing any pain or tension. Amaryllis may have been a fool— literally and figuratively— but they weren’t an idiot by any means. Clearly, they were interested in Beatrice. Had been fascinated by her long before now. She was alluring and bashful, most anyone would feel a similar draw to her. And as much as Amaryllis pretended they weren’t a human capable of emotions, unfortunately that was not reality.

People were drawn to them too, but it wasn’t genuine, it wasn’t Amaryllis they were captivated by. Perhaps these lessons would be useful to rid them of these feelings. It was likely they were only infatuated by a pretty face, and when she eventually saw Amaryllis for who they really were, she would push them away and it would be the end of it. Amaryllis wouldn’t get their hopes up by expecting anything but lessons.

The chiming of the grand clock in the corner pulled Amaryllis out of their head, signaling it was only an hour before their meeting with Nadia. They needed to refocus; they’d wasted so much time already and had now resolved to use up part of their day tomorrow. After a few moments of deep breathing and several sips of water, they stood from the bench, stretched, and prepared to resume their work.

Despite the trouble Amaryllis was experiencing earlier, now was an entirely different story. Now, they were able to easily conjure up the passionate lyrics and melodies they’d been searching for the entire afternoon, thoughts of a certain brunette hovering in the back of their mind.

—

[nadacwriter]

Natalie’s Curse/Dinogad’s Smock

When Natalie Gaine was born, they say she was cursed. As a hybrid of a human and a ghastly creature, she has some powers that may be out of her control. How will her family, specifically her Mother Marion, cope with these powers?

AN: A oneshot featuring a 6-year-old Natalie going through her first transformation. There’s a scene in this one where two characters speak Welsh to each other in the story, but I kept the written dialogue in english, I didn’t want you to have to translate for one of my silly little stories.

CW: Body Horror

Words: 2,335

The last name ‘Gaine’ carries respect with it in Delstran circles all over the world. Maybe you knew of the Gaine’s line, dating back generations; known for progressive politics, many saw them as activists and folk heroes, but others saw them as agitators and terrorists. It was hard to find a witch or wizard in their native Wales that didn’t have an opinion on the line.

Or, maybe you knew more about Marion Gaine, the world renowned duelist who married Krysta Gibson, one of the finest alchemists in the United States, bar none. If you lived in the town they called home, Edelmen, Iowa, you might have known their 8-year-old, Norah, born magically from Krysta. And their newest addition, Charice, a little infant, who had just had her blessing ceremony a month or so ago.

But if you know one thing about the Gaines, in Wales OR America, it’s this:

Natalie Gaine is cursed.

Natalie Gaine is the only child that Marion Gaine herself gave birth to, just two years after Norah was born. The story behind her conception is indeed gruesome, and you’d be hard pressed to find anyone willing to tell you the whole story. After all, hybridization with other species is often fine, but with a red wraith? A highly dangerous spirit that most people had never even SEEN before? That was something else.

It didn’t matter. Natalie didn’t look anything like her sisters. Her skin was fair, her hair was jet black, and her body was small, feeble. But that doesn’t constitute rumors of a curse. But nearly killing your mother at birth? Reddish-gray eyes, massive scars and markings all over your body, surprising magical skill, a nasty temper, an inability to sleep, and a morbid curiosity for the dark and macabre? Those were, to the locals, anyways, SURE signs that the child had been cursed. Not the Gaine family, not even necessarily Marion Gaine herself, the biological mother.

Just the child. And life was going to get much more difficult…

“MOM! MAM!” Norah called out, her eyes wide and her stance tense, “I NEED HELP!”

Krysta was busy with her child, but she could hear the concern in Norah’s voice. She took the infant Charice in her arms and walked with her, finding Norah at the top of the stairs to the third floor, “Norah? What’s the Matter?”

Marion, who had been working down on the first floor, trying to repair one of her capes, heard the call as well, and headed swiftly up the stairs, finding Krysta and putting a hand on her shoulder, looking up to Norah, “What’s all the fuss about, love?” Norah breathlessly explained, “N-Natalie! She got angry, because someone was throwing rocks at her window, and she got really mad and she started breaking and I don’t know what to do but I think she’s broken!”

Krysta handed Charice off to Marion, who took her and shushed the now antsy infant. Krysta made her way up to the top of the stairs and put her hands on Norah’s shoulders, moving her out of the way. Norah ran down to Marion, “I-Is Mom gonna be okay?” She asked, tugging on Marion’s dress.

Marion was about to tell Norah that yes, everything would be fine, she probably just cast a spell wrong and they’d need to fix it, it wouldn’t be a big deal...when all of the sudden, a scream. “MARION!”

A pause, then, “Hold her, Norah,” Marion let Norah hold Charice. She made sure Norah’s hands were firm on Charice before bolting up the stairs, nearly tripping on her dress as she made her way to Natalie’s bedroom, finding Krysta. Krysta wore a terror on her face that Marion hadn’t seen in a logn, long time.

“What’s gone wrong? What’s happened?” Marion asked, gripping Krystan’s arms and looking her in the eye, “do I need to call someone?”

“Look, look!” Krysta pointed into the room, and the pair looked upon what was inside. The room was messy, with unmade bed and books strewn about the floor, as well as a window with a small crack in it. But that wasn’t really the pair’s focal point.

Natalie had transformed. Again, when other hybrids did this, it was fine. A human looking more like a fae, or a dryad of some kind. But with a red wraith, it was different. Natalie must have gotten VERY angry to transform like this, and she was probably still angry and scared and confused. The mirror in the room was smashed to bits.

Natalie’s hair was long and greasy, hanging black at her sides. Her clothes were stretched over this new body, and her fingers had formed into long, gnarly claws, with sickly gray tips, serving as claws. Her eyes glowed a cutting scarlet, and shined in the light. But the scariest feature was the mouth. Sharp, long teeth, and there were dozens of them. And her mouth had split, as well, with deep, horrible jowls hanging down from her mouth to her chest, embedded with teeth. Her breathing was heavy and labored, and her head flitted and shook, like a bird expecting a fight.

“I-I don’t know, WHAT is going on,” Krysta began, fear apparent in her wavering voice, “but if that’s permanent, we need to call-”

Marion shook her head, “No. It isn’t permanent.” She let go of Krysta, “Hybrids do this. It’s scary, but, I know how to fix this.” Marion displayed a level of calm and collection that could make a nun look like a drill sergeant. “I’ll fix this,” she said, “I’ll be fine. Go see to Norah.”

Krsta nodded gently, and hurried off. She was an attentive and caring figure, but anyone confronted with their child being transformed into that would be caught off guard. As she went away from the room, Marion calmly entered, and shut the door.

Natalie hissed at her as the door shut, and scurried into a corner, grunting and hitting her head against the wall. Whether she was trying to escape or otherwise, it wasn’t working. As Marion went to put a hand onto Natalie’s shoulder, she recoiled into herself, and screamed out, before she began what sounded like crying. The low, rough noise choking out from her was painful for Marion to hear. But she endured it, to help her daughter.

Marion scoured the books on the floor. She was looking for one in particular, a little picture book she’d brought with her from Wales. She’d never known why she’d kept it until now. And when she found the book, she slowly went to Natalie, sitting behind her.

“It’s alright, pet...cry.” She said, “I know you’re in there, somewhere, Natalie.” Marion reached for Natalie’s shoulder again, and this time, Natalie let herself be touched. She was cold, wrinkled, and she shook. Marion then began to hum a song, as she opened the book.

Natalie responded well, as she turned to face her mam. She spotted the book as well, and hissed at it, looking at the pages intently. Marion, meanwhile, kept the humming going, before she began to sing.

“Pais Dinogat Vreith, Vreith…

O grwyn balaot ban wreith…

Chwit chwit chwidogeith,

Gochanwn gochenyn wythgeith…”

Marion would point at the pictures in the book. A rotund man, wearing a furry smock, and carrying a club, and a spear, and holding two dogs on a rope leash. Natalie was now leaning into Marion ow, calming down from her fear and rage. Her skin was growing warm, her hair short, and her eyes more human. Marion, meanwhile, continued,

“Pais Dinogat Vreith, Vreith…

O grwyn balaot ban wreith…

Chwit chwit chwidogeith,

Gochanwn gochenyn wythgeith…”

Natalie was looking more human, her hands retracting into fingers and palms, her legs doing the same, and even her teeth grew less sharp, her chin reforming. Marion turned the page, and pointed out pictures, containing different amounts of animals that Dinogad had hunted. Marion’s smile was gentle, as was her grip on Natalie.

“Un ,

dau,

tri,

pedwar,

pump,

chwech,

saith,

wyth…”

Natalie was back to normal. Her face was stained with tears, her voice was shaky, but she was finally calming herself down. It was Natalie who sang the next part in the book, her voice gentle and raspy.

“Pais Dinogat Vreith, Vreith…

O grwyn balaot ban wreith…

Chwit chwit chwidogeith,

Gochanwn gochenyn wythgeith…”

The pair went on, singing until the song was done and the book was closed. Marion stroked Natalie’s hair, kissing her forehead. She spoke with Natalie in Welsh, gently lifting her to the bed, and resting her own head on her own arms.

“Natalie,” She began, “Do you want to tell me what happened?” She asked, observing as her daughter turned away. She kept her eyes on her, just in case she ended up transforming again.

“Someone through a rock and my window and I got mad. Then Norah said my teeth looked funny, and I got scared. Then I heard a voice telling me to-” she paused, reluctant to go on, gripping the comforter of her bed.

“Natalie,” Marion got up and got the girl a set of less stretched clothes, “You transformed because you got too angry and too scared. Your brain didn’t want to hold back anymore.”

“But you told me I can’t control when I’m angry!” Natalie said, wrapping herself up in her blanket. She made it clear that she wasn’t budging, at least for a little while.

“Nat,” Marion sat next to her and wrapped an arm around her, “You can’t. But you can control how you deal with it.” Marion rubbed Nat’s back through the blanket, “Life will not be easy. Not for anyone. But your mother and I can help you take some of that weight. Okay?”

“…” Natalie reached out and hugged her mother tightly, squeezing her, “Thanks, Mam. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, Nat. You’re one of the best things to ever happen to me, a little anger management isn’t gonna change that.”

///

Marion walked down the stairs calmly and quietly, and was greeted by Krysta, holding Charice, a worried expression on her face. “So...did you change her back?”

“Yes. Where’s Norah, is she alright?” Asked Marion, kissing Krysta gently on the cheek.

“She’s fine, I calmed her down,” she said, shaking her head and sitting in a nearby chair, “so, Natalie just transformed into a red wraith.”

“Yes.” Marion stated, matter-of-factly, as she sat next to Krysta, “It had to do with her anger. We’re gonna have to figure out a way to control it. I don’t know how.” Marion sighed, leaning forward.

Krysta bounced Charice up and down on her leg, “We’ll figure it out, Marion. I promise.” She put a hand onto of Marion’s, rubbing the back of her hand gently.

Marion smiled softly and nodded. “I know.” She said, leaning back into her chair. “Here,” She took Charice once more, rocking her gently, “I’ll keep her for now. You’ve been up a while. Rest.”

“You sure, dear? I know that couldn’t have been easy.”

“Ohh, I’m sure. She’s our baby, after all, should get to know her Mam.” Marion responded, nuzzling her nose into Charice’s, kissing her forehead, and letting her smile grow as Charice giggled in response.

Krysta rose from her seat and made her way down the stairs, letting Marion sit alone with Charice, and with her thoughts. Her smile faded into a frown, and her stare became vacant, as she let the little child sit in her arms, rocking back and forth in the chair. Thinking about Natalie, about how scared she looked when she’d turned, how terrified she must have felt when she turned. She thought for a while, until she heard the sound of little footsteps padding down the stairs.

Natalie was still wrapped up in her blanket, and looked to see Marion, walking over to her. “Can I sit, Mam?”

“’course, dear.” Marion replied, looking up and moving some pale hair out of her face.

Natalie sat in the chair next to Marion, and looked at Charice, wriggling a little and looking all around the room, her eyes taking in all the new sights. She kicked a little bit, and pointed at Natalie.

Natalie’s eyes widened, and she let a smile creep across her face, “can I hold her, Mam, pleeeease?”

marion looked over at the girl. Eyes red, hair black, scars and marks apparent. But her whole body was excited with the aspect of holding her little sister, of taking her into her arms. She just looked so ecstatic to hold her, and like she would die if she didn’t get to.

“Let me show you how,” Marion rose from her seat and walked over, teaching Natalie how to cradle Charice’s head in the crook of her elbow, how to support her body, instructing her to sit down when she held her. And then, she placed Charice into Natalie’s arms, and let go.

Charice kicked and wriggled, grunting and babbling, but she took well to the new person holding her. She sputtered and wriggled some more, all the while being looked at by Natalie, whose eyes were dead set on Charice the second she entered her arms.

“Mam,” She gasped, “She’s so tiny…”

“Gonna be as big as you some day, Nat, maybe even bigger!” Marion said. Marion watched as Natalie held Charice, careful with her, even while she was sitting down, and wrapped in a soft blanket. She was incredibly deliberate, as if every breath was calculated. All because she didn’t want to hurt her sister.

Marion stopped worrying about Natalie’s anger, at least, for now. She watched Natalie hold her little sister, with every ounce of care she could. And Marion knew, somewhere, that even IF Natalie was cursed, even if part of her wanted to kill those kids who were messing with her, there was a bigger part. A part that knew how important it was to be careful with a young child.

And Marion wouldn’t have it any other way.

[dontgotothenetherworld]

I loved your latest Nick fic! I had this idea from Perfect that some of the lyrics fit him and the reader as his best friend while they’re crushing but scared to admit it. Like “sometimes is never quite enough” because he always wants to see her and “how long before you screw it up? and how many times do I have to tell you to hurry up?” because he feels like he always screws up a chance to tell her how he feels but he keeps trying until he gets it right. If the idea is too specific that’s fine!

perfect

honestly, anon, you should be the one writing this, this is a really good idea. but i’ve already written it so..

i used four lyrics from the song! they’re from the beginning part, because they seemed like the only ones that could possibly be fit into a romantic context! i tried my best to make them direct quotes, but some have added words because the perspective of this song is kind of weird

1898 words

cw: femreader.

nick stared at his phone screen. it went black, from inactivity.

he turned it back on, to see your text. it was simple, just a few hearts.

but nick couldn’t handle it. his brain flashed memories from the past few months with you. everytime he had tried to ask you out, to be more precise. tried and failed.

he had tried so many times to work up the courage. he tried so many times to just say the right words. but now he was running out of time.

it was your senior year. nick had gotten into harvard, and you had gotten into ucla. you were leaving each other. and these months were the last chance he would get to finally just say the words. the three little words.

and, hey! there were no consequences, right? earlier, nick was terrified that he would screw up your friendship, but you were moving away. and people stop being friends when they move away. it doesn’t have to be that way, but if nick did screw up the whole relationship, then at least the two of you wouldn’t have to be near each other, and have that as a constant reminder.

so now there was literally nothing that could go wrong, but nick was just so scared.

he was paralyzed. a single tear fell down his cheek. suddenly, an idea stuck him.

he took a deep breath, as he began to formulate. he would write a letter to you. he didn’t have to give it to you, he just needed to get all of the words he wanted to say out.

maybe he would give it to you. maybe he didn’t want to have to see your face when he told you all his pent up emotions. but maybe he did.

if you reciprocate the feelings, he wanted to watch you react. but you might not. you probably don’t, and so nick should give you the letter. that way you can let him down easily, without the harshness of an initial reaction.

nick flattened a piece of lined paper on his desk. he picked up the pen you gave him. it was years ago now, but this would be the first time he’d ever used it. it was for special occasions. and this was definitely special.

���dear y/n,” he began. “i am in love with you. i’ve been in love with you since we were sophomores. do you remember homecoming? at the end of the night, when everyone found new energy as the final song started up, you told me something. you probably didn’t put much thought into it, but i think about it nearly everyday. you told me that i’m perfect. do you remember that? it caught me off guard. we hadn’t been talking, just laughing at nothing and dancing, and you told me that i’m perfect. and then when the song ended, you hugged me. i think that’s when i realized i had feelings for you. romantic ones, that is.

”i don’t know when it happened, but sometime last year i really fell in love with you. maybe it was seeing you with paint all over your face, after we got distracted from making posters. or maybe it was on facetime, when you let me rant to you for the thousandth time about how stressed i always am. but i think it was when you held my hand during the scary part of some cheesy horror movie that i can’t remember the name of.

”and after i fell, i realized that sometimes is never quite enough. i couldn’t just be with you sometimes, i had to be with you every chance that i could. so if it seemed like i was just making up reasons to hang out with you, i was. i hope you don’t mind.

”yet being with you constantly turned out to stab me in the back. do you remember gabe? godlike gabe is how i thought of him. you put him on such a pedestal. you thought he was so incredible, so perfect. perfect body, perfect grades, and he always had the perfect thing to say. he had no flaws. and i know you never meant for it to impact me the way it did, but everytime you mentioned him, it was like you were just stabbing a dagger through my heart. a dagger engraved with the words, “if you’re flawless, then you’ll win my love.” and all i saw were my flaws, and i felt like they were on full display to you, so you could never love me.

”and i couldn’t tell you about how this made me feel, not if i wanted to keep my love for you a secret. so, i told you about other things. my family, the stress that they put me under. your family is much different than mine, so you didn’t really know what to say, but you did tell me “don’t forget to keep that smile on your face” when you tricked me into laughing at your horrible puns, and that helped. you told me that my smile was cute, so i tried to smile more when i was around you. and then you would smile, and i’d forget about all my flaws.”

nick put his pen down. he hadn’t said everything he wanted to yet, but needed a moment to regain himself. he didn’t want to deliver a letter stained with tears to you. he leaned back in his chair, thinking of what he had left.

with a deep breath, he began again, “i would sometimes wonder how long it would be before i screwed it up. how long before i said something stupid, like “i love you.” so i guess this is that time. i’ve waited to tell you, because you are the best friend i’ve ever had, and i don’t want to lose you. but i can’t be just friends with you. i have tried, but i need to tell you i love you. if you don’t have feelings for me, that’s fine. i waited to tell you until our graduation, when we’re going to be on opposite sides of the country, so that if you don’t feel the same, our parting will be more natural. if you don’t, i would still like to be friends with you, but not right away.

”y/n, i know you better than i know myself. you are going to succeed at whatever you put your mind to. california doesn’t know what’s coming.

”love, nick.”

nick read over his letter. “this is shit.” he muttered to himself. it was like he had written a fucking essay on you. that’s not how you tell someone you love them.

he read his words once more. he decided he wasn’t going to use it. he would just tell you in person, maybe hitting on the point he had made in the letter. it’d seem less awkward and rigid than this.

yet, he tucked the letter into an envelope, and put it in an often unused pocket of his backpack.

he tried to forget about it, and go to sleep. but it was a restless sleep. every time he glanced at the clock, convinced that hours had passed, only a minute had.

when he finally gave up on a restful sleep, he dragged himself out of bed, the only solace being a cup of coffee.

finals, his last finals of high school, were coming up soon. and instead of studying, he had written a shitty fucking love letter to a girl that would never see him as more than a friend. he completely checked out when his family began talking. talking in their incessantly loud voices, about mundane topics.

his sister, frankie asked him something. not wanting to seem like he wasn’t paying attention, he said, “uh yeah, sure. sounds great.” and frankie gave him a hug. which was weird, but nick didn’t have mental energy to question it.

later that day, after the final bell rang and frankie hopped into nick’s car, frankie said, “you’re welcome.”

nick furrowed his eyebrows. “you’re welcome what?”

frankie rolled her eyes. “for being the best little sister ever, obviously.”

the look on nick’s face was not amused. “what did you do.”

”well, you know how you told me you wanted me to give that letter to y/n this morning?”

nick’s heart rate picked up. the letter. “i didn’t say that.”

”well, i remember you did, and i already gave it to y/n. so you’re welcome.”

”what?” nick screamed. the car suddenly felt so small, the windows closing in on him.

”this morning, i asked you if you wanted me to give the letter to y/n, and you said that that sounded like a great idea, i don’t see why you’re freaking out right now. can you hurry up and drive us home? i have loads of physics homework that i need to get to.”

the world seemed to rotate around nick. “frankie, i was half asleep, was that not obvious? and why did you have my letter in the first place? did you got through my backpack again? you need to stop doing that!”

frankie shrunk into her seat. “sorry. but you shouldn’t agree to things you don’t hear.”

”you are not going to blame me for this!” nick took out his phone, and quickly sent you a text, “hey did frankie give you a letter today? have you read it yet? if you haven’t, do you mind waiting until after graduation to read it? please no follow up questions about the letter’s contents if you have not read it.”

nick then threw his phone into the backseat, and began pulling out of the school parking lot.

”so what was in the letter? did you finally confess your love to y/n?” asked frankie.

nick’s face flushed, and he didn’t reply.

taking his silence as an answer, frankie said, “well good for you, then. and hey, with y/n’s dna, you have a 50/50 chance of making cute babies.”

nick continued to ignore frankie’s comments all the way home.

”do you think y/n will still want to be friends with me, even when we’re no longer sister-in-laws, and she’s on her second husband? or wife? or spouse? is y/n queer?” frankie gasped, “maybe i could be her second wife!”

”get out.” nick said, pulling into the driveway.

”i have the kindest brother.” she said with sarcasm dripping from her voice.

nick sneered at her.

after he parked his car, he took a deep breath and picked up his phone. NUMBER texts from you. “yeah, frankie like ran up to me in the middle of the hallway. that was weird.”, “i haven’t had time to read it yet, why is it bad?”, “wait, ignore that question. i will conveniently forget the letter’s existence until after we’ve graduated

”yes, please forget about it for the next two weeks. wait no, less than two weeks. frankie wasn’t supposed to give that to you, sorry.” he sent back.

”give what to me? ha ha…”

”please don’t remind me that graduation is that soon ugh.” you double texted.

”i know :(“ nick sent.

@meangirlsx @meangirlmurphy @eliza-is-confused @boredomimi

[strawberrycarnivals]

Hi there! Can we get a yandere Dabi kidnapping the reader but then yandere Shigaraki ends up falling for the reader too?

Oh, anon😭😭 I had so much fun with this one. Thank you for the request💖😈

Cw: cursing, kidnapping, noncon, yandere, sexual at times, murder lmao let me know if I need to add anything else

Kidnap Your Own Girl

Dabi x Fem!Reader x Shigaraki

The League gathered in the living room of their new headquarters- a large penthouse suite located in the one hotel Shigaraki didn't destroy in Deika City. "What's going on?" They grumbled at Shigaraki.

"Hey. Everyone shut it. We have something important to decide on." Everyone shifted uncomfortably. They were exhausted and not quite ready to do another mission yet. "We need to decide on what we're eating tonight." The room let out a sigh.

"Why's everything a god damn ordeal with you, man?" Dabi flopped himself on the couch and turned on the tv. Channel number 58 specifically. He needed to see something. Your sweet voice filled the air.

"Hey!! As your leader I'm demanding you listen to me and put in a suggestion!!" Tomura huffed and stomped his foot, tantrum beginning. "Quiet down, crackhead. I'm trying to watch something." He turned up the volume. You twirled your hips on television and Dabi smiled.

"Y/N? You're watching a pop star right now when more pressing matters are on the table?!" Shigaraki seethed and Toga sat next to Dabi on the couch. "Oooo! She's beautiful!"

"I know. That's why I'm going to make her mine." Tomura exploded into laughter.

"'Make her yours'??? Have you lost your mind? You look like a ballsack. Also isn't y/n from *****?"

"Yeah. She is. But she's touring soon in Osaka. And I'll be ready. Plus she's not going to be able to resist me." He smirked. Toga gushed. "Oh my gosh! A kidnapping!! That sounds so romantic," She sighed. "Bingo." Dabi snapped. "Wanna help?" Toga jumped for joy. "Is that even a question? Obviously!"

"Whatever, you freaks. I'm ordering chinese take out.. Twice. Order chinese take out. I'll be in my room." Shigaraki was gone instantly. Twice nervously panicked. "Wait!!! Do you want chow mein or fried rice?? Orange chicken or teriyaki???! AHHH!! COME BACK!!"

Tomura punched the wall of his room in anger, thumb out. He already knew y/n would be in town soon. This weekend actually. He had your tour schedule all the way down to the songs you would sing on stage. How dare Dabi try to steal what was his? He needed a new plan. He opened his closet and made his way to a shrine of your posters and merch.

He reached out touched your photographed face. You were an angel. "Looks like there's a new gameplan. See you soon, princess."

~

It was the day of your concert and you were beyond excited to be in Japan. You decided to get some shopping done at a nearby mall before the show that night with your best friend and couple of body guards. Everything was going great. Until you went into the dressing room with your "bestie."

"How do I look in this, b/f/n-chan?"

B/f/n stared at you and smiled unnaturally.. and her face melted off, a thick gray slime hitting the ground. "What the f-" a naked girl with space buns covered your mouth and held a knife to your throat. You froze. "Dabi," she whispered. "I got her." A tall man with what looked like rotting flesh stitched to his face entered your dressing room and the blonde girl stifled your scream. Where were your guards?? Where was b/f/n??

"Why so upset to see me, y/n? I'm hurt." The man cooed. "Listen, sweetheart. You're coming with us... well me more specifically." You attempted another blood curdling scream, felt a pinch in your neck, and then everything went dark.

You woke up in a luxurious bedroom, dazed. It was still bright outside. Where were you? Your cell phone was gone. You tried the door. Locked. You tried the window. Locked. It looked like you were on the top floor of a hotel.. surrounded by a collapsed civilization. Your body shook violently, realization setting in. Those two kidnapped you. You heard the news playing in what you assumed to be the living room outside your room. You pressed an ear to the wall and gasped.

"The hottest new pop star of our generation- y/n- has now been missing for 2 days. Her best friend b/f/n was found in an alleyway with no memory of what happened and her security guards were found burnt to a crisp outside of a mall store's dressing room. If you have any information about y/n's whereabouts please call our hotli-" the door opened and a lanky man with baby blue hair appeared and quickly locked it behind him. You saw his sunken-in eyes and dry, torn looking lips and backed into the furthest wall, shrinking into yourself. "Please stay back." You squeaked. He dropped to his knees in front of you.

"Shhh, shh. It's okay, princess! I'm here to save you." He held out his hand, thumb curled in. "My name is Tomura. I'll get you out of here." He smiled wickedly.

You gasped and nodded your head, grabbing his four fingers. He was going to save you! You shouldn't be so quick to judge appearance, you thought. Relief and hope washed over you. "These two.. these two villains kidnapped me! One was a stitched up man and the other one looked like a schoolgirl! I think I.. I think I missed my concert. And my bodyguards are dead." You sobbed into his shirt.

"Oh no, princess! It's okay now. Because I am here." He smilled mockingly and pulled you into a hands-out hug, smelling your hair. You smelled like cake. Fuck. He broke apart from you and turned toward the door, discreetly tucking his raging boner into his waistband. "Okay now let's get you out of here. I think the villains are gone." Of course the idiots were gone. He was the one who sent them out in the first place. He hid a huge grin, trying not to seem too suspicious and opened the door. "This way."

He lead you through the suite's living room, into a kitchen, around a dining room, and down a hall. He opened a door. It was a filthy master-sized bedroom covered in junk food wrappers and video games. It was dark but you could make out about 6 different gaming stations and 3 desktop computers. He shoved you inside and locked the door behind him. "What's going on?? I thought you were saving me, Tomura??" Your eyes watered, fear eating at you once again.

"I am, Player 2! I'm saving you from boredom. Dabi's room is a drag. You'll have much more fun in here with me!" Your eyeballs turned solid white. He tricked you. You knew he was a villain from the start and you allowed his comforting lies to warp your mind into trusting him immediately. You crumpled to to the floor.

~

Dabi snuck away from the group and returned home to the hotel. He didn't have time for Shigaraki's bullshit grocery requests. He needed to see his darling. Wanted to touch you. You were so cuddly when you were unconscious. You even made cute little moans that instantly gave him a hard on. He actually had taken it upon himself to rub one out into your mouth last night. You swallowed his emission with a smile on your face. The drugs in the syringe Giran sold him really knocked you out, but he knew you were probably a needy slut while conscious as well. He had to find out.

He excitedly opened the door to his room and.... you were gone. His face fell. Did his angel escape? No.. that couldn't be it. The lock could only be opened with a specific hotel card. And the famous y/n was known for not having a quirk. A lightbulb went off in his head and exploded. That dirty fucking bastard! He marched to Shigaraki's room and threw open the door. You trembled. What did they want from you?? Money????

"You're a fucking prick, man. Go kidnap your own girl. This one's taken." He pointed at you. Taken?? Your mouth hung open in disbelief.

"I believe I am your leader and YOU WILL RESPECT ME, you fucking deep fried giraffe. If I claim something, it's mine. And I'm claiming her. She's my Player 2." Princess? Player 2??? Your brain was short circuiting in it's skull. Were these villains fighting for your love?

[katjacksonbooks]

Ummm, I started this romance last year at some point and then put it away, as I often do. But now that the world feels super bleak (super SUPER bleak? what’s the scale for everything sucks and I hate it all?) I’ve decided to add this story to my list of things I want to finish soon-ish. (I mean, it’s me tho, so what does soon even mean?)

Anyway, if you want to read a preview of Alien Escape (erotic ffm) and meet Drea, a girl with big dreams and a plan to get as far away from her toxic parents as she can, read on!

CW: allusions to domestic violence and emotional abuse

Also, if you’re wondering if I really have face inspiration for an alien couple, the answer is yes. I do! Y’all should watch Star Trek: Discovery!

                                                      Prologue                                    

 “Shut up!”

“You shut up! All you do is come in here and whine like a baby until you get your way.”

“When have I ever gotten my damn way in this fucking house? I work my fingers to the bone—”

“Where? When? Doing what?”

“Oh, fuck you! Someone’s gotta keep food on the table in this damn place—”

That’s about when I tune them out. My parents have the same fight every three to four days, like clockwork. It’s not really about anything, or not about anything specific; they just like to fight and really dislike each other. Mom hates living in Ohio, and she’ll never forgive dad for moving us out here. Dad hates living in Ohio too, but he refuses to admit that this was ever his idea. Money’s tight. There’s nothing to do. Neither of them can keep a job. Somehow, this is all my fault.

Different day, same bullshit, and why I don’t bother listening.

We all learn things from our parents, and mine taught me early and often that we all have lots of times in our lives when we can make decisions to not stay with people we barely know and can’t stand. My parents had more roads to escape than most.

My life as I know it might never have happened if their casual fling — without birth control, because dad didn’t believe in it — hadn’t turned into an unexpected, but obviously expected, pregnancy. That could have been a wakeup call, followed by a visit to a Planned Parenthood and an important life lesson learned, except mom was from a hardcore born-again family and didn’t believe in birth control or abortions. She believed in premarital sex, though, so I’m still trying to make sense of that faith system, but the damage was done. The damage being the mess those two made of my childhood because, even though they could have decided to co-parent or something, they apparently felt compelled to stay together. Why? I’ll never know, and I’m convinced they don’t know, either. My earliest self-realization wasn’t “This fucker took my nose!”, it was “My parents see me as a burden.” Can you imagine? Being barely old enough to sit up without wobbling and knowing, somehow, deep in your bones, that the two people who should love you unconditionally, don’t? It’s not a great life, just in case you need to see it in black and white. To my parents, I was just another mouth to feed, the thing that kept them bound to this person they hated more each day. Their entire relationship and my entire existence were just one bad decision after another, and the soundtrack to my entire life has just been this same argument.

They bickered all over New York in the almost-identical shoebox apartments they could just about afford, during our road trip West and ever since we settled in Akron. They don’t even like each other enough to shake up these knock-down, drag-out fights. Maybe a cheating accusation here, or a “Who ate the last piece of chicken?” there, but other than that, nothing.

The most interesting part of my life was that year just before they finally decided to move to Ohio. Dad had tried to feed me and mom some fairytale about how life would be different here — fewer people, better housing, more trees, less pollution and a stronger family unit. I never believed it, because in each of the yarns he spun, I was still with them — both of them — and there’s no happily ever after with them around; not for me, at least. But mom had been swayed, and next thing I knew, we were in a beat-up Ford truck, the entirety of our belongings packed precariously in the bed and heading West.  Surprise of all surprises, none of dad’s stories had been true.

Well, okay, let me be fair. There are technically fewer people in Akron than the Bronx, and the house we’ve been renting since we arrived is bigger than those small New York apartments, but besides that, my parents’ dysfunctional relationship and my shitty life are business as usual.

There were more trees when we got here, but I’m not giving dad credit for that since most of them were cut down about a year after we arrived to make room for the new pipeline running right through our backyard. That’s why the rent’s so cheap.

My parents fight about that, too.

The move wasn’t a Band-Aid to their relationship, and it certainly didn’t make my life better — not that anyone was worried about me — and as far as my parents are concerned, every problem in their life is my fault. They fight about it regularly and then circle right back around to being united against me, and that’s why as soon as mom banged the pot of spaghetti on the kitchen table, I scarfed down my portion and excused myself immediately.

Their problems aren’t my fault, I know that, but there’s no reasoning with them. It’s best to just disappear. I headed upstairs to my room with a mumbled “homework” and waited. Once I heard them start sniping at one another, I did what I always do and climbed up to the attic and out onto the roof. This is the only place where I feel safe, emotionally, if not physically. If I’m being honest, I really shouldn’t be up here. It’s slippery, and a bunch of the tiles are a good gust of wind away from falling off, but if my choices are inside my parents’ house and up here, the roof wins every time.

Out here, there’s enough space to escape my parents’ incessant fighting. The late spring air is a marked change from the stifling, probably not-quite-safe gas heat in our house. On a clear night, I can stand on the eastern edge of the roof and see all the way downtown, not that there’s much to see there. I mean, I can see the marquis of the Burger King where I work, but I’m not interested in that, so I usually look in the opposite direction. There’s not much to see there either, just a few farmhouses surrounded by large fields and the pipeline.  

But I’m not looking at any of that. I put my earbuds in my ears, turn my music up as loud as it goes and lay back on the roof to stare at the clear, dark blue sky. Sometimes, I haul my sketch book up here to draw, or pull my old astronomy textbook out and try to identify the constellations, but whatever I do, I say a prayer that my singular wish will come true. All I want is to get as far away from my parents as fast as I can.

My classmates are preparing for college, and lots of them want to enlist, but my only real goal post-graduation is to get away. I’ve worked out any number of escape routes up here. Instinctually, I know that I can’t just move to Columbus or Detroit. Those cities aren’t far enough away, and I’ve long been worried that my parents’ obvious co-dependency means that I need to put some serious miles between us if I want to have a chance at real freedom.

I toyed with the idea of leaving the country, but Burger King money doesn’t stretch nearly that far. Right now, I’m making just enough to give my parents one of my checks a month to help with household bills — and keep them off my back — and split the second between my cellphone bill and savings account. After three years, I have enough money saved to absolutely get the fuck out of Akron in exactly six months on my eighteenth birthday, and I plan to do exactly that, but I’m still working out the kinks in my escape route.

I’ve done the math, and I can either buy a decent used car or a plane ticket to California. Every time my dad comes home and tells mom that his paycheck was docked for calling in or mom hides yet another online delivery from dad, I’m tempted to go for the plane ticket, but I usually talk myself down from that impulse because I’m sensible, unlike my parents. Even though the thousands of miles away from here is attractive as fuck, I know that once I get off that plane, I’ll be broke as hell.

On the other hand, the rusty Honda Civic I have my eye on at the used car dealership downtown is sensible. It has less than 100,000 miles, good mileage, and if push came to shove, it could double as a temporary home. It wouldn’t be a six-hour plane ride to California, but I’ve got enough money that I could put some real distance between my parents and myself and have enough to really start the rest of my life.

But when I’m up on the roof, I also have another secret fantasy. It’s not real, but when my parents are really loud, and I worry that the yelling and crashing might turn to the sound of fists hitting skin and bone, I dream of space. Forget California or Tokyo, I wish I could go to the moon or beyond. There’s a tiny, terrified girl inside me that knows in her bones that the only way to really escape my parents is up above me. Sometimes, I lay back on the roof and imagine what it would be like to know that I was far enough away that I’d never have to hear my parents wake me up arguing again. It’ll never happen, but some nights, daydreams of flying up into the sky are the only things that make me feel safe enough to fall asleep. But just like with San Francisco, I bury that deep inside myself and calculate how many shifts I need to work to have the full price of the used Honda. The sky is my fantasy, just like Ohio had been my parents’, but that Honda Civic is the real path to freedom.

The sound of glass breaking hits my ears in the quiet between two songs, and I jump at the shock of it. I tap my cellphone screen to pause my music. I pull the earbud from my left ear and listen, trying to figure out which part of the argument they’re at now.

“Do you feel better?” dad yells at mom.

I roll my eyes, shove my earphone back into my ear and press play on the music again.

Mom likes to break dishes when she’s really frustrated but trying to hold it together; it’s why the few dishes we have don’t match. I suspect she’s gonna drag me to the Goodwill tomorrow to look for a replacement for whatever she’s broken, and I can’t have that. I pick up my phone and tap out a quick text message to my boss, Peter. In a plea that he’s very familiar with, I tell him that I’m available to cover any shifts tomorrow. Peter’s a good guy, and I know that he’ll do what he can to get me a shift, even if it’s just a few hours or closing. I’ll take it, and he knows I will. I’ll also immediately put whatever extra money I get directly into my savings account and readjust my timetable to purchasing the Honda and getting the fuck out of here.

The music builds to a crescendo and mercifully drowns out my parents’ screaming as I look back up at the sky.

On nights like tonight, the moon is so clear and big that I swear it’s close enough to touch. I stretch out my right arm above me, squint one eye closed, tilt my head to the left and pretend to capture the moon between my thumb and forefinger. I smile for the first time in what feels like hours, maybe even days.

And then I see it.

While I’m looking, a small speck in the sky moves across my vision, only visible because it passes the light of the full moon. At first, I think it’s a distant star, or maybe my eyes are playing tricks on me. I blink, and something in the sky moves again. Whatever’s up there, it’s too far away to see clearly, so I sit up, trying to make sense of it all. It’s moving too slow to be a shooting star and too fast to be…well, literally anything else. I pull my earphones from my ears, as if it will sharpen my vision. I stare up at the speck that’s now bigger, closer; close enough for me to realize that the one speck is actually a cluster of distant lights. I’m not looking at a star or a planet but a constellation that’s moving in formation towards me. Toward the Earth.

But that’s not possible. I know that. I aced astronomy.

“What the fuck?” I whisper to myself.

As if in answer to my whispered question, those bright not-stars seem to move faster and get bigger in the large pane of sky above my house as they get closer. The lights seem to fill the sky of this boring ass town with a pipeline running through it dangerously close to the local drinking water; this town my parents hate that I can’t wait to escape.

I shake my head and turn to the right. My eyes land on the pipeline cutting through the fields behind our house. I can barely remember a time when it wasn’t the first thing I saw when I woke up in the morning. I’ve read dozens of articles about what it is and how much time it’s probably shaving off of my life. I guess the environmentalists were right and assume that thing must finally be leaking. It has to be. Because how else do I explain what I think I’m seeing in the sky?

And when I tilt my head back to look up there, I gasp and jump to my feet.

In the handful of seconds when I’d been looking away, those not-stars seem to have come closer. Like real close. Now they’re so close that no one can mistake them for stars because no stars have ever been so damn clear in the sky or moved so fast. I watch as they get closer and closer, and then I shriek in shock as the constellation breaks apart.

If I’m hallucinating this, whatever the pipeline is leaking is grade-A lethal shit.

The lights disperse so fast that I actually miss it. One second, there’s a cluster of lights heading toward me, too many for me to count clearly. The next second, I blink. Then the next second, there are only five lights still above me, but I can see turquoise blue light streaks in the sky heading in thousands of different directions. And then in another second, those five lights begin to slowly move apart, still descending, closer to the Earth’s surface. They’re landing, I realize, and my mouth falls open.

“Fuck,” I breathe as my mouth curves into a smile so wide it hurts.

Now that there are fewer lights and they’re even closer than before, I can just about recognize what’s hovering in the sky above me. They’re ships, and not space shuttles like the ones I’ve seen in my social studies textbooks about the moon landing. These not-stars are huge, bigger than the biggest plane I’ve ever seen in the sky, maybe even bigger than the entire town, and they’re not US-made shuttles or like anything I’ve seen of Russian or Chinese ships. These big, hovering ships look like they’re covered in shimmering jewels, glittering as if reflecting their own sunlight. “Fuck,” I breathe again.  

“Drea, are you up there? Girl, get off the fucking roof, we can’t afford no emergency room visit. Do you hear me?”

I hear my dad yelling at me. I do. I just don’t give a shit, because there’s an alien spaceship in the sky almost directly above our house — an actual fucking spaceship — and this is infinitely more interesting than him reaming me out for being on the roof again. Besides, I hear the moment when he sees what I’m seeing and stops caring that I might stumble and fall off the roof. I hear the choked gasp that comes from his lips just before my mom bangs out of the front door, still yelling. I hear her words cut off when she sees the ship too, the final confirmation I need that I’m not having a pipeline hallucination, but still, I don’t care.  

Because I’m speechless. I know, deep down in my gut, that this ship is going to change everything about the world I’ve ever known, and I can’t help but feel elated. My body feels light, as if I weigh nothing more than my fantasies. I swear I could float up to one of those ships, and that’s exactly what I want to do. I want to bang on the door of a ship and beg them to let me in, because I can feel the surety along every inch of my skin that this ship is going to be my way out. This ship is going to get me as far away from Akron and my parents and that damn pipeline as possible.

My mother’s scream is a delayed response to seeing the impossible, and it rips into the quiet night. She keeps screaming and screaming, but dad and I are too mesmerized to stop her. Eventually, I hear our neighbors begin to file out of their houses, probably when they realize that mom’s screams are different from their regular weekday fights. I hear them gasp and cry out. Babies are crying, and other people’s screaming joins mom’s. There’s even the sound of the hurricane warning blaring out eventually, but none of those noises seem to touch me; not anymore. It’s like they’re far away because I’m already gone.

[robertsbarbie-archive]

im putting you up to what you posted and I'm asking you to answer all of the writing questions. also the url change had me confused for half a second but im in love

This is why I’m my own worst enemy

2. Favorite part of writing.

Creating a whole world, a whole other life, that people can someday enjoy and find comfort in when they’re feeling down

3. Least favorite part of writing.

Writing, like the fact that your ideas and storyline isn’t instantly onto the paper is insane

4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?

I mean I probably do but I can’t remember

6. Favorite character you ever created.

A teenage greek goddess I pulled out of my ass named Arendellia, she was a badass who died and I really just liked what I wrote involving her

9. Least favorite trope to write.

the opposites attract, in my opinion it’s cliche and unrealistic, I prefer the characters have similar interests but different approaches to things if that makes sense?

10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about.

Natasha Preston, and we’d wrote the sequel to The Cabin cause it’s been a year and I’m still not over the ending, I need a sequel

11. Describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

first I get a new notebook, I need a clean space for my ideas, then I wrote down a prologue or a description, it allows for my brain to fully process where I want the story to go, then I write until I hit a male characters name, cause I hate coming up with male names, if I have one picked out I’ll see if the image in my brain matches the name, if I can’t find a name that fits the project is discarded, if I find one that fits I write until I don’t know where to take the story next then I continue to formulate my ideas into actual scenes until I reach the end, then I close it up in a box never to be touched again until I accidentally find it while cleaning one day

12. How do you deal with self-doubts?

I either won’t show anyone or will preface saying “it’s not edited yet” or “I know it’s garbage lol”

13. How do you deal with writers block?

I listen to music, and write stories based off of the song titles, like I always try to write a chapter and if after a chapter I don’t think I have a story I move on, sometimes I’ll get a completely new idea but it really helps to get ideas flowing

14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book?

I’m currently waiting to write a book until I have all of the details, it revolves around Greek mythology but I want to be so accurate, not white wash, or erase the different sexualities of the Gods and I want to be accurate to the myths (a bit) but so far that’s the one

16. Where do you take your motivation from?

My brain telling me that it’ll leave me if I don’t get the ideas out of my head

18. What’s your revision or rewriting process like?

I learned in 7th grade that I need to do a complete rewrite which sometimes I do, other times I’m being nostalgic and read an old story then realize I’m an idiot so I edit it lol

19. First line of a WIP you’re working on.

‘"Coffee looks absolutely lovely on you, madam," I glare at Cody while attempting to pat myself dry.’ From that Dying in LA story I talked about earlier

21. Post the last sentence you wrote in one of your WIP’s.

’"I told the director to go suck a dick. It was the worse thing imaginable,” I groan into my hands.’ Same story, and it’s only the second chapter but yeah

22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you?

Bold of you to assume I actually finish my writings

23. Single or multi POV, and why?

As big of a fan that I am of different perspectives, I prefer single POV, I feel as though the character is more personal. Rarely do I do multi

24. Poetry or prose, and why?

Prose, my poetry is rather depressing and I just can’t

25. Linear or non-linear, and why?

Linear, otherwise in my opinion it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense

27. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished?

yes and no (I’ll explain in next answer)

28. And who do you share them with?

the unpolished, I share on Wattpad because it’s easier to detach myself if they don’t like it, but I wait until polished for people I actually know

29. Who do you write for?

Myself, it’s a way for me to cope with life, and writing and rewriting an event that has happened to me helps me move on from the situation

31. Hardest character to write.

Men.

32. Easiest character to write.

Villains

35. Tell some backstory details about one of your characters in your story ________.

the main character in “Dying in LA” had a rough childhood (shut up at the cliche) and used acting to escape, she moves to LA when she’s 19 having fail after fail at auditions, she’s about to give up when she gets her big break. (Sorry I’m terrible at back stories)

36. A spoiler for story _________.

Oof I want to spoil DILA (Dying in LA) but I won’t, um, I started this story about this girl who gets kidnapped and um I’m kinda planning on killing her so there’s that.

38. Have you shared your outline of your story ________ with someone? If so, what did they think of it?

Bold of you to assume I’m not just BSing my way through my story

39. Do you base your characters of real people or not? If so, tell us about one.

Yes. Um, I’m gonna tell you about the real person cause I based so many characters off of this person. Oof okay, it was any ex. For years he was in EVERYTHING I wrote, the story usually focused on the what if’s or the repercussions of our relationship and the fall out of it. We just complemented each other so well the thought of writing something to try and capture our time together comforted me so much. I still get flashbacks of our time together and sometimes his personality shows up in my writing but it just goes to show how the people in your life stay with you.

40. Original Fiction or Fanfiction, and why?

Both? I think there’s upsides and down sides to both but both are so amazing and are fun to explore

44. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

Be confident in your writing and it will show, don’t be afraid to take risks

45. Worst piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

“Great job! Keep up the good work!” Um???? what good work???? be specific please!

46. What would your story _______ look like as a tv show or movie?

DILA would hopefully be done in a CW style where like it’s light hearted but a real plot and seriousness lies beneath? I actually don’t know?

47. Do you start with characters or plot when working on a new story?

Plot, my guy

48. Favorite genre to write in.

Realistic Fiction

49. What do you find the hardest to write in a story, the beginning, the middle or the end?

the middle, most likely I already have the end and beginning planned

51. Describe the aesthetic of your story _______ in 5 sentences or words.

Dying in LA: fame, used, lost, forgotten, greed

52. How did writing change you?

It gave me a place to express myself and cope with life and the struggles I’ve been through

53. What does writing mean to you?

Everything, it gives me a voice when I feel like I don’t have one

54. Any writing advice you want to share?

Keep writing, practice really does make perfect

Also the url is the best (any numbers missing means I already answered them, check under #asks )

[atc74]

She Waits

Our Reader meets Rob and they fall in love, but is it really that easy? The good things rarely are.

Word Count: 3281

Warnings: This is the best (worst?) flangst I can do, language, Rob singing

A/N:  beta’d by the ever amazing @just-another-busy-fangirl. Laura, I don’t know what I would do without you and I hope I never have to find out! I listened to and channeled some Louden Swain for this. Although it is not inspired by ‘She Waits’ it felt like a fitting title. A huge shout out to @zeppo-in-a-trenchcoat and @mandileaphotography for the amazing photos of Rob. Thank you for feeding my soul. Also, all my love to Nicole, @iwantthedean, for her never ending support and for enabling the crisis. 

Written for: @d-s-winchester and her 2 Year Blogiversary Challenge. My prompt is in bold below. Ash specifically asked for Rob, and tbh, who I am I to say no! I just adore him so much!

Songs listened to: Amazing - Fair - She Waits - Eskimo - Worlds Collide - Like The Heart Goes - Honey Bee - Medicated - All I Need - Cool If I Come Over

To say you and Rob Benedict had a complicated history was an understatement. Some days it felt like Goldie and Kurt, then other days it felt more like Whitney and Bobby. It was wonderful and it was tumultuous, but it was always passionate.

You had first met Rob on the set of Supernatural in 2009. He played a prophet and was slated to appear a few times and you were nothing but an extra. But the reaction between the two of you was a Chem professor’s dream. It was palpable from the first greeting. As you were doing a series of guest spots for the CW, you were in Vancouver for a few weeks which allowed you and Rob get to know each other. You spent all of your spare time in his room or yours. Passion was never the problem.

But then he left and you felt like you would fall apart. He had promised you a future. You felt foolish for believing him, but felt it in your heart, even if your head was screaming ‘NO’ at a thousand decibels. You retreated into yourself when you didn’t hear from him for almost two months.

You found yourself in Los Angeles to audition for a new series. You wanted to call Rob, just to hear his voice. It was one of the things you loved about him, one of the many. His voice was always so soothing and calming to you after a rough day. When he sang to you, it gave you life and you felt like you could accomplish anything and overcome any obstacle in your path.

“Hey girl!” your friend Nicole greeted you at the airport. “I have been watering your plants but I am going to be the best friend ever tonight! We are going out. There is this band playing at a club and my friend got us tickets.”

“Nic, I love you and you are already the best friend ever, but I just got off a plane, I want to sleep and shower and get shitfaced, not necessarily in that order,” you grumbled, getting your bags into her truck before slumping into the passenger seat.

“Well, I totally concur with the whole shower thing. I also support the getting shitfaced, but as for sleep, that can wait until tomorrow. Your audition isn’t until Monday. You have forty-eight hours, you’re golden, girl,” Nicole rambled on as she sped through traffic to your apartment.

After much coaxing and cajoling, you finally gave in and got dressed in the clothes Nic had laid out on your bed. She had picked your favorite skinny jeans paired with a teal colored cold shoulder top and a pair of brown boots. She helped with your makeup and soon you were ready and didn’t even look like you had been sleep deprived ever since Rob walked out. You hardly recognized the woman staring back at you.

The club was loud and the music was crappy, but there were plenty of open seats at the bar. You made a beeline for it, ordering your favorite whiskey and a beer for both of you. You knocked back the shot with ease and then followed it with Nicole’s while she chatted up her friend.

“Hey, that was mine!” she joked. “Y/N, this is Gil.”

“Nice to meet ya, Gil,” you greeted him politely. He was quite good looking and he and Nicole made a striking couple.

“Well, let’s go get our table,” Nicole shouted over the music and Gil lead you to the very front table that he had reserved. You didn’t care much, as long as the booze kept coming.

The two of you sat and talked as well as you could for the better part of an hour until the music stopped blaring and Gil’s voice caught your attention.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, it my pleasure to bring this band onstage tonight. They have been a solid force in the Indie Rock scene here in L.A. for a few years now. Please welcome Louden Swain!” The crowd erupted in cheers but you had never heard of them and lived in L.A. for the last ten years. You rolled your eyes and signaled the waitress for another round.

Then you heard it, the voice that had plagued your thoughts for the last two months. The voice that calmed you. You turned around slowly and looked up to the main microphone stand on the stage right in front of you. Of course, your table was front and center. There he was: Rob. You knew he sang, but he had never told you he was in a band.

Your heart beat faster than you could ever remember as you took him in. He looked the same as he did the morning he walked out of your hotel room, maybe just a little more tired. That gave you a moment of hope that maybe he was just as miserable as you had been. His eyes met yours and your heart leapt into your throat, making breathing impossible.

“Before we get started, the guys and I just want to thank everybody for coming out tonight. We hope you have a good time,” Rob smiled and met your eyes once more.

You had heard him sing most of these songs, granted they sounded different with a full band behind them. Rob sounded amazing and you had to admit, despite seeing him and your heart hurting, you were having a good time. Nicole looked over at you with that knowing look of hers but you just shook your head and stuck out your tongue.

“Hey, thanks so much,” Rob speaking broke your thoughts and you gave him your undivided attention. “We want to debut a new song for you guys tonight. I, ah, wrote this a few weeks ago. It’s about a girl, quite possibly the girl. I hope you like it.”

When he spoke, he was looking directly at you and you sat down once more, unsure if your legs would support you. Had he really just said that? And was he talking about you? You listened to the song, not quite understanding, then it hit you as the song ended.

Rob jumped off the stage with his hand held out to you and you ignored it, launching yourself straight into his arms. “I’m sorry.”

“I missed you,” you breathed into his neck, his familiar scent comforting you like nothing else had been able to do in the last several weeks.

Even though he had hurt you, your heart let him in as easily as it had the first time. Your head begged you to be cautious, but you ignored it. Life was simple with Rob. You loved each other and he comforted you when things were tough. His singing brought tears of joy to your eyes. You knew deep down, you would never be truly happy with anyone other than him.

Life was a whirlwind with Rob Benedict. Between shows and his band touring, not to mention, the band was offered a spot during the Supernatural conventions a year after you met. To say you were use to Rob being gone is wrong. You will never get used to the love of your life not being there, you just learn to deal with it. That is why there are phone calls and text messages and late night video chats. It wasn’t the same without his arms around you, but his voice calmed you as always.

You weren’t sure exactly when you noticed it, but as the seasons changed, somehow so did your relationship with Rob and that is when reality set in.

2011

You hadn’t seen or heard from Rob in months. By now you were used to the pattern, but it still hurt. Your head said it was time, but your heart refused to move on. You shook your head to rid the thoughts that probably would always plague you. It was Nicole’s wedding day and you need to keep your shit together. You couldn’t think about him today, of all days.

You couldn’t believe how much you cried during the ceremony. Nicole was breathtaking and Gil looked like he stepped right out of the pages of GQ. Even the vows were more beautiful than anything you had ever heard. Pictures were taken and soon you made your way to the reception with the rest of the wedding party. You only needed to stay a few hours, then you could go home and collapse on your couch, watching bad reruns.

Dinner and speeches were finally out of the way and to be completely honest, you were more than a little tipsy. It was time for Nicole and Gil’s first dance and everyone, even you, smiled as you watched them lovingly float across the dance floor to a grossly romantic song. Your inner voices wouldn’t shut up. The song was cliche. Rob would never have sang such a sappy song to you to express his love. His songs were quirky but there was always a meaning in them, even if it was hidden.

Finally the band was set up and it was time for the wedding party to dance. You and your groomsman headed out to the dance floor. The music started and you danced, not even paying attention to it until you heard his voice. You finished the dance; you didn’t want to make a scene. As soon as the song ended, you grabbed Nicole and practically dragged her to the bathroom with you.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” you shouted, not even bothering to check to see if there was anyone else in the restroom.

“Y/N, I know what you are thinking and I am sorry. I really am. Rob asked Gil not to tell me. I didn’t find out until today. Gil was in charge of the music and I didn’t know. I swear.” Nicole was telling the truth, you could see it in her eyes.

“I know, I’m sorry I yelled at you on your wedding day. I just wish I had known he was going to be here,” you sniffed and grabbed another tissue.

“Hey, at least the music is good. Let’s just go have a good time and forget about it, yeah? It is my wedding day and you have to do what I say!” Nicole proclaimed, as was her right today.

“Fine! But I am getting drunk and you are paying for my cab!” You agreed and you both headed back to her reception.

You were well past drunk and incredibly proud of yourself for keeping it together. Well, you were until the band took a break. Rob approached you at the bar, buying your next drink.

“Rob, why? That is all I want to know,” you pleaded with him, without daring to look at him. “We have been playing this game for two years. I thought everything was fine. Was is easy? No, but we were dealing with the separations while you were on tour. Then, you fell off the face of the earth. You stop calling, you don’t come over. And just when I think I can get past it, you fucking show up when I least expect it or can handle it.”

“Y/N, Honey, I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I am a coward and I know it. I am scared of what this is, so the only thing I know to do is cut and run. Tonight hasn’t been easy; Gil is mad, Nicole is pissed and you won’t even look at me,” Rob stated.

“Rob, I can’t do this anymore. Just, do me a favor, please. Please don’t chase me anymore unless you’re ready to catch me.“ You turned your back and walked away, calling a cab on your way out of the reception hall.

2013

The past two years had been kind to you professionally, but personally, your life was still a hot mess. Nicole was the only person who knew how bad it had gotten. You avoided going anywhere there was remotely a chance you would run into Rob.

Nicole burst through your apartment door like she owned the place. “Get up and get in the damn shower, Y/N. I am tired of your moping, It has been two damn years and I am not putting up with this anymore. I am your best friend and I love you like a pain in the ass sister, but enough. I am taking you to Vegas for the weekend and no arguing.”

You knew there was no use arguing with her when her angry Irish made an appearance, so you shuffled to the bathroom and reluctantly got in. When you emerged thirty minutes later, feeling slightly refreshed, you gasped. Nicole had your bags already packed and an outfit ready.

“Come on! We can be there by noon!” Nicole helped you get ready and you were on the road within thirty minutes and Vegas bound. It was cool for February, but the forecast was looking promising for Vegas as you checked your phone.

“Thanks, Nic. For always being there for me. For always being my rock, my cheerleader, my shoulder to cry on. I don’t know what I would do without you,” you told her as you sat in the spa chairs, manis and pedis in progress. You had dinner reservations over at the Rio and you were excited about the rest of your girls weekend.

You both were dressed and pressed and arrived a few minutes early for your reservation, so you played the slots while you waited. You looked over at your friend and she had never looked more beautiful, even on her wedding day. She looked so happy and after telling you the news of her pregnancy, it was easy to see why. It made you happy to see her happy, even if you would be drinking alone tonight.

Dinner was delicious as you finished up in the VooDoo Steakhouse. You had just consumed the best steak you had ever eaten and were perusing the dessert menu when you heard Nicole’s name.

“Oh hey! What are you doing here?” Nicole asked.

“We are in town playing the convention as always. What else do I do with my time?” Your stomach turned in knots and you felt like you were going to throw up. You dropped the dessert menu on the table and signaled the server for the check. Then you felt it, his hand on your shoulder. Warm, calloused and comforting; just as you remembered it. You took a deep breath and turned.

“Hey,” your voice was shaky, even as you tried to control it.

“Can I talk to you for a moment? Nicole, do you mind?” Rob asked her, not wanting to interrupt.

“Oh, yeah, we were done and I am tired anyway. Growing a baby is exhausting!” Nicole quickly paid and exited the restaurant, Rob taking the seat next to you.

“Y/N, Honey, I am so sorry. I know that is no excuse for what I have done or the way I have acted. I have kept myself so busy for the last two years, so I didn’t have time to think about what I was missing with you,” he admitted.

“Rob, please don’t. I told you at the wedding, I can’t do this anymore,” you stood to leave but he stopped you.

“I know what you said and I have done nothing but think about that. I have spent so much time avoiding you so I wouldn’t, but you’re still the first thing I think about when I wake and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep. You told me not to chase you anymore unless I was willing to catch you,” Rob paused, taking a breath and you took the chance to look at him for the first time in two years. There were tears rimming the edge of his brilliant blue eyes.

“I’m ready. I don’t want to waste my time anymore, just living, because without you, I’m not living, not really. I miss every single thing about you, and if you’ll let me, I’d like to try again. I never stopped loving you,” he confessed and you felt your heart beating too fast in your chest.

“Rob, I don’t think I will survive if you run again. I can’t lie and say I don’t love you anymore, but I don’t want to get hurt, not again,” you wiped away the stray tears as they fell.

“I promise you here and now, I won’t. I can’t promise there won’t be hard times, but I am not going anywhere this time. Please come to our concert tonight; everyone will be there,” Rob coaxed, his thumb rubbing small circles on the back of your hand as he spoke, not breaking eye contact once. “I don’t want to wait anymore. Let’s start now.”

“I think I would like that. I stopped listening to your music because it made me miss you and I cried all the time; the makeup department was not happy,” you laughed and it felt good.

2016

The next time you returned to Vancouver in early 2016, it was with Rob. That night in Vegas, he had poured his heart out to you and he hadn’t been lying. He really had changed and he never ran. It wasn’t all rainbows and glitter, but you were happier than ever before.

You had married almost a year ago and were now expecting your first baby in a less than four months. Rob was scheduled to film four episodes, as God of all characters, and didn’t want to be away from you, so with Jensen’s help, the two of rented a condo for a couple months and you would be back in Los Angeles in time to finish getting ready for the birth of your child.

You spent most of your time on set or sleeping in Jensen’s trailer, since it was bigger and more comfortable than the one they gave the guest stars. Jensen and Rob walked in while you just finishing some stretches, finding yoga helped with the small aches and pains of pregnancy.

“We brought you some lunch, Honey,” Rob told you as he set it down on the table before he helped you up off the floor.

“Good! Your child is always hungry!” you claimed as you dug into the street tacos they brought.

Jensen just laughed. “I remember when Dani was pregnant with JJ. They say every pregnancy is different, but I think hunger is the one constant.”

“Gen said the same thing!” you mumbled around another bite of taco, while Rob watched you with a look of shock or awe, you couldn’t tell which. “What? Do I have something on face?”

“No, I just can’t believe how lucky I am,” Rob laughed, kissing the top of your head.

“You’re lucky you got your act together and realized you couldn’t live without me,” you reminded him.

“Yes, yes I did. And now I don’t have to,” Rob agreed. “You let me catch you, finally.”

“You finally used the right bait and I took it, hook, line and sinker,” you smiled at your husband and realized you were both the lucky ones.

It was still complicated some days, but those days were few and far between. The passion that sparked in the beginning was still there and that was all that mattered to either of you anymore.

Taglist - currently closed: @iwantthedean @chelsea072498 @paintrider13-blog @d-s-winchester @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms @just-another-busy-fangirl @winchesterprincessbride @waywardjoy @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @mamaredd123 @ellen-reincarnated1967 @sis-tafics @katymacsupernatural @tankcupcakes  @wonderange @meeshw777  @tmccarney @ruprecht0420 @theoriginalvicki @hexparker @nanie5 @docharleythegeekqueen @megansescape @notnaturalanahi @impalaimagining @mrswhozeewhatsis @blacktithe7 @emoryhemsworth @dracotomanddeansprincess23 @bringmesomepie56 @devilgirlsarah @spnbaby-67 @emilycollins11 @myoutletforfanfiction @deansangelgirl @mizzzpink @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @kayteonline @rockhoochie @percussiongirl2017 @fanfreak07 @tattooedmomster13 @sandlee44 @moonstar86 @uttertrash–butlikecutetrash  @squirrel-moose-winchester @growningupgeek @charliebradbury1104 @evansrogerskitten @feelmyroarrrr @itseverythingilike @smoothdogsgirl @evyiione @ashstrom87 @supernatural-jackles 

[pastpassages]

This isn’t particularly a “me and natsuki” song so much as a “this seems to capture some of the way I experience love and also the world” song but. I wanted to put it here and some thinky thoughts bc it’s late and I feel like pontificating I guess. Properties/fandoms/people I mention but do not want to draw the attention of have been censored, if you can’t figure out what they are and really want to know feel free to message me.  

Cw: exploration of like. The inevitability of death, and change, and facing the vast universe. Tl;dr this song is macabre and its speaker knows that wishing for things to stay as they are is in vain, but does it anyway. That fuckin gets me bro.

Ideally the read more will work. I apologize if it doesn’t. I’m on mobile and not sure that tumblr will let me edit posts on desktop that I started on mobile. I literally copy and pasted this freaking post onto desktop so it would have a read more bc no one fucking deserves to scroll through my late night mile long thoroughly existential ramblings. At least I’m posting this fuck off late at night so hopefully it won’t bother anyone

The simple instrumentation, first off. It’s p much the same…one? Two? Maybe three measures? Repeated throughout the song, but I think it works very well with the themes and meaning and doesn’t annoy me like other acoustic-style music with so much repetition (*cough* M*mf*rd and S*ns *cough*). This is partially I think bc there’s changes in the notes etc between different parts of the song; the measure of silence between the intro and the first main stanza of the song, the change in. I think it’s key? Over the course of repeating the chorus. (It’s been so long since I’ve done music, stanza isn’t the right word and key probably isn’t either hELP)

But the main thing that seems to get me: the lyrics.

“How lucky / I ever was to see / The way that / You smiled at me / Your little moon face / Shining bright at me / One day soon, there’ll be nothing left of you and me / Two coffins for sleep” (I may have put too many line breaks in there lol but that’s how it Feels so I’m keeping it)

There’s this constant awareness of the inevitability of loss (specifically death in this case), and how. Mm, how to put it. The randomness of the universe can so often work against us, and being aware of that makes you incredibly thankful for the times when things do go in your favor. Very similar vibes to TWRP’s Life Party, though definitely more macabre in tone.

Going back to the first stanza in the song:

“Two coffins for sleep / One for you, one for me / We’ll get there eventually / In the dark of our graves, our bodies will decay / I wish you’d never change”

Something I find interesting about this portion is that, despite ending with “I wish you’d never change,” acknowledging that this change, death, is inevitable, there’s still this. Hope? I guess might be the right word? Or maybe faith. That the speaker and the person addressed in the song will be together in death. They will be in separate coffins, but “we’ll” get there; “in the dark of our graves, our bodies will decay. Plural. They may be separated physically but they are undergoing the same process, and perhaps there is some measure of togetherness in that. It may just be economical phrasing to fit the rhythm of the song, but it still implies a togetherness to me. It could have been phrased "I’ll get there and you’ll get there,” “in the dark of the graves, our bodies,” or similar. Again, that probably wouldn’t work with the rhythm and there is probably not an inherent meaning to it, but still! I was an English major, reading more into things that aren’t necessarily there is like My Job lol.

Anyway, before I got sidetracked by that thought I was going to say that the main point of this portion of the song is this sort of impossible wish for the speaker and the person addressed to not be separated. Yes, this is inevitable, yes, there is no fighting it, but…wouldn’t it be nice? Wouldn’t it be nice to have a small kindness from the universe like that, to not be separated in the end. It won’t happen, but let’s take a moment to imagine it anyway.

Another side note, this is kind of a similar thought process to why I like the way st*vens *niverses handles its villains. Yes, talking and emotional connection with those you’re in conflict with doesn’t always work. But isn’t it nice to imagine a world where it does? And if we do imagine that, maybe we can find a few ways to be more compassionate in our world, to extend grace and kindness where we might not have thought to otherwise. And perhaps that will make the world just a tiny bit better.

Anyway. Moving forward:

“All the things that I have yet to lose will someday be gone too / Back into annihilation / All things will fade, maybe it’s better off that way / I wish you’d stay with me”

First off, the phrasing “back into annihilation.” We come from nothingness, we will return to nothingness. This is not a religious song. There is not an afterlife waiting for us, nothing that created us. There is the life we have, here and now, and then it’s gone.

Otherwise, this stanza continues the overall theme: we inevitably march on towards death, and separation. We will lose all that we have. Perhaps that is good, ultimately; would it truly make you happy in the long run to never experience pain or loss? This is a sentiment that I’m sure has been expressed many times by many people, but that I remember first hearing from st*r tr*k, though I cannot currently find a clip of the moment I’m thinking of. Not that human life is inherently bad or painful, but that pain is a necessary part of life to balance the good. If there was not pain of some kind in your life, you would not appreciate your happiness so much. Obviously, this line of thinking only goes so far; it is not, for example, a good thing that marginalized people tend to experience outsized pain in comparison with the nice things they receive from society. Happiness for marginalized people is more often forged and seized, stolen from life rather than given freely by it. No, poverty does not “make you appreciate the virtues of life” more, it makes you hungry and tired and frustrated, can you please just take some action against it. Conversely, j*ff b*z*s could probably use a bit more pain in his life! ….I got sidetracked again. Wish tumblr had a footnotes feature. Anyway. The speaker acknowledges the inevitability of death/loss, but once again expresses that vain wish to not lose the person addressed in the song, to keep what they have in this moment. Once again, this will never happen. Let’s imagine it anyway. Perhaps it will be a comfort, despite its improbability.

After this, the chorus is repeated, eventually shifting into a repetition of the phrase “Two coffins for sleep,” finishing the song. To return to the instrumentation, the guitar and drums follow a consistent, simple rhythm, mimicking that of walking. Constantly moving forward, even when we don’t want to. We will die, eventually, “one day soon,” far off and yet much closer than we hope or want. Change is inevitable. Death is inevitable.

And yet. That small, vain hope remains. “I wish you’d stay with me.” “I wish you’d never change.” Maybe, in a kinder world, we could keep this moment as more than a memory. “How lucky / I ever was to see / The way that / You smiled at me.” In all the cold randomness of the universe, against all improbability, we did meet. We brought each other joy. “Your little moon face / Shining bright at me.” We reflect the good, the kindness in each other. “One day soon, there’ll be nothing left of you and me.” And yet. And yet. “Two coffins for sleep / Two coffins for sleep.” Separated, and yet together, even if it’s just an illusion.

To explain why this means so much to me….I’m not sure I can do it succinctly lol. But hey, this post is a mile long already, so why not. No one’s obligated to read this lol.

When I was younger I was more religious. (This is not a “religion/spirituality is a childish thing and I have put that behind me” point, don’t worry.) When I was a teenager I was an atheist for like. Edgy points, idk. I was starting to see some of the worse parts of the world, starting to wonder what gods who truly cared about the world would let it get so horrid for so many. I’m still fairly young (mid-20s is not old, I must keep reminding myself), but now my view is…somewhere in the middle of those two points. Or maybe it’s more that I took a left turn?

The point is, now I kind of don’t care whether there is a god/are gods, whatever. You know how when you’re a kid (barring abusive circumstances that break this illusion much earlier etc) you believe that your parents know everything? They can fix anything, they’re your parents! They’re your whole world! And then you get older, and you realize that no. They don’t know everything. They were your whole world, perhaps, but there’s literally billions more people in the world. People that you can connect to, learn from, build things together with. The world is so much more than you and your parents. That’s the stage I’m at with my belief in a higher power. Sure, they might be out there. But they’re just one being, how could they possibly understand and control everything in this fuck off complicated world of ours? Or, if you’re going the polytheistic route, they’re just as complicated as the rest of the world. Chances are, appeasing one would anger another. One step forward, two steps back. (I should make it explicit if it wasn’t already clear, I come from a Xtian background. I default to thinking of god in the singular. Not sure how well this point holds up from a polytheistic perspective tbh!)

Anyway. It does not matter whether there is a higher power. There is more to the world than that. We are here. We have each other.

There’s a moment in night in the woods that hit me like a truck. Angus says, “so I believe in a universe that doesn’t care, and people who do.” I have essentially taken four times as many words to express that same sentiment! But like. That’s it. It doesn’t matter whether there’s a higher power. If they can fix the world, they haven’t, and if they can’t, then they can’t. We can, piece by piece. Moment by moment.

The thing about this. Is that humans. Are not, by nature, necessarily good. “People are fundamentally people,” as TPratchett and NGaiman put it. The world is infinitely complicated, and on top of that we as individual humans are infinitely complex. We do not, by default, seek out and work towards the good of others. (We do not inherently seek out hurting others either! Get that original sin shit out of here!) But like. If there isn’t a higher power that’s going to just fix our shit for us? If we’re all we’ve got?

And thus. Finally. The reason this song speaks to me. Oh my lord is it existentially horrifying to think that it comes down to silly, insignificant, flawed humans to change the world. You have to find something to give you joy. Or at least a moment of less pain. The world is so vast, and we can do so little.

But we have each other. In this vast, empty universe, I have you, and you have me. And perhaps, to soothe our fears and make things just a little easier on ourselves, we can pretend that the world will be kind. Wouldn’t it be nice? If things were kinder. Let’s take a moment to imagine it. There, that’s a nice thought, isn’t it? The world will not be kind. But for a moment, we can pretend it will.

Perhaps, if we are very lucky, we can even take a small step towards that kinder world.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

[madegeeky]

Giftening 2020: Obligatory Vote for These Post (spoiler version)

Want the non-spoilery version? Seriously, though, super spoilery for main plot points for a lot of these. Skip the ones you don’t want to know about.

Ones with * are my nominations, so you know where my biases lie. :P Ones in bold are my top pick for the categories. I did not include things that don’t need the boost (like Utena).

ANIME 

Aggretsuko - A tv show about an unassuming shy red panda woman who works in an office building and deals with the stress of it by going to karaoke and screaming out death metal. The show largely deals with her making friends with two women who she admires and a dude who likes her. The dude who likes her is actually a geniunely interesting storyline because at the end of the first season (which I’ve not seen beyond), he basically admits that he’s built this image of her in his head that isn’t real and he wants to know the real her. (Which, fuck yeah.)

Fushigi Yuugi* - This is a story about two teens who used to be friends fighting over a man which is literally the antithesis of everything Jet is. And yet, Jet watched the whole damn thing. Watch her squirm as she has to deal with that in a liveblog format. You can get a preview of some of that in Doc’s liveblog of it that she did for Jet.

NON-ANIME ANIMATED

Archer* - This is an animated parody of James Bond made for adults. It's offensive as fuck because Archer, the titular character, is a James Bond stand-in and that character can also be offensive as fuck. In fact, one thing to appreciate about this show is that all the characters are shitty, awful people and the show never attempts to excuse their shitty, awful behavior. Plus, it's one of the few shows where half the main characters are women. I am a tiny bit hesitant to rec this for a liveblog due to the offensivness however, as far as I can tell it's not popular on tumblr, and those are generally the ones that cause the most trouble so... 

Daria - The story of a misanthropic teenager, her family, and her best friend. The characters are specifically meant to appear to be tropes before slowly being unveiled as three dimensional people. It's got a dry sense of humor that I think Jet will enjoy. I actually didn't know until years after I watched this that it was a spin-off of Beavis and Butthead (which I hated) so don't let that dissuade you. 

LIVE ACTION

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - I haven't seen past a certain point because it starts going super deep into exploring depression and that is one of my main triggers for a depressive episode, so I cannot speak of later eps. However, this show starts out funny and silly and evolves into a show exploring how toxic the main character actually is and how unhealthy her coping mechanisms are. It's amazing to see a character type whose actions are usually excused or written off as funny instead be specifically called out as being awful and toxic. (It was a Shit Show is still one of the best songs I've ever heard and Mr. Geeky and I sing it to each other whenever shit hits the fan.) 

Hannibal* - If you know of Hannibal, you know the basics premise is that of a man who eats people and is chased by the FBI. The writing in this is some of the best writing I've ever had the pleasure of seeing in a piece of media: it's subtle, smart, and trust its audience to follow along without having their hand held. However, what's really great about the TV show is that it's not afraid to do its own thing. It constantly fucks with your expectations and deconstructs and explores tropes in ways I've never seen before. I haven't seen the ending yet but I highly doubt it's going to end in a place where Silence of the Lambs will happen. The acting is fucking great and even though Anthony Hopkins gives an amazing performance as Hannibal Lector, after seeing Mads Mikkelsen play him there's no going back to Hopkins. In general, if you're looking for something original (which is ironic considering it's based on a book and there are several movies) and smart, I cannot recommend this enough. 

Russian Doll* - (Doc, please skip this one, as in 5 years when you're done with Two Storms, this is one of the things I'm considering nominating should I ever win a liveblog again.) I don't really know how to explain this show because it's so fucking weird and is so focused on character and ideas that the plot is both super simple and extremely complicated. It's a story about a woman who starts to relive the same day over and over again except, instead of the typical thing where it starts over when she falls asleep, it's only until she dies (so sometimes she lasts for hours, other times for a couple days). However, almost immediately there are signs that something else is going on, that something outside of the main character's repeating day, something has gone horribly wrong. (Count the fish.) It's a very thoughtful, character-driven show, more about exploring ideas than plot which I, personally, didn't mind at all. Another one I highly recommend overall with much less blood and gore than Hannibal.

Xena - IT'S FUCKING XENA PEOPLE! Okay, but just in case you don't know what the show is about is through cultural osmosis, Xena is a show about a woman who used to be a truly horrible murderous bitch and her continual attempts to make up for the wrongs she has done. The main relationship in the show is between Xena and her (girl)friend, Gabriel, and although the show can be ridiculously silly (time is made up and history doesn’t matter!), it also explores deep, dark issues. One of the best things this show explores is the idea of redemption and forgiveness and that perhaps nothing Xena does will ever get her those things.

LIVESTREAM

Crank* - Jason Statham plays a man who has been given a poison that slowly cuts off his adrenaline, meaning that eventually he'll die. He has to do increasingly ludicrous things to get his adrenaline pumping overtime to make up for it slowly being cut off. It's one of the most fucking bananas thing you'll ever watch but is just a bunch of fucking fun. (CW: Public sexual assault. I only mentioned because it’s a scene that last for a bit. It's a complicated scene so I won't get into it here but send an ask if you want more details.)

Dale and Tucker vs Evil* - Dale and Tucker, two hillbilly best friends, are going into the woods to fix up their vacation home when they stumble across some college kids. Random circumstances make the college kids think D&T have kidnapped their friend and so they decide they need to attack D&T to get her back. Hijinx ensue. I don't want to say much more because there's a moment that is, to this day, still one of the funniest fucking things I've ever seen, largely because I did not see it coming.

GAMES

Doki Doki Lit Club - This is a game about games. You play a guy in a dating sim. Your first playthrough everything seems normal enough. You join the literature club, meet and talk to girls, and then one of the girls commits suicide. And then game restarts and the girl who committed suicide just... doesn't exist anymore. Your replay the exact same days but it's as though she never existed. Things only get weirder from there. This game does a great job of turning dating sim tropes on their head, as well as exploring games in general. (Content warning for a lot of things. Let me know if you want more details.)

Slime Rancher (stream) - There's really not much to spoil here. You play a woman who is in charge of a ranch full of slimes. There's some messages you'll find, left by the old owner, telling story about their romance. There also some messages between you character and a deliberately gender-ambiguous significant other. And that's about the closest to story you get. Otherwise it's just catching and ranching slimes.

Subnautica* - Fucking fuck I love this game. When this game first starts it appears to be your typical survival game with no real direction other than what you want to explore. But then you find an alien structure. And you realize that your spaceship didn't randomly crash. And you find out that there's no way get off this planet except to explore deeper and deeper and find out what the aliens were doing on this planet. A genuinely beautiful story, told mostly through entries in data pads and voice messages left behind, this ending is one of the most moving ends I've ever experienced and I never ever would have expected to be able to say that about a survival game.

We Happy Few* - In this alternate universe, the Germans invaded Britain during WW2 (although, through exploring the world, you learn that the differences started well before that). When the story starts up, the Germans have left Britain behind and Britain, for unknown reasons, appears to be cut off and/or abandoned by the rest of the world. The majority of the country is constantly hopped up on a drug called Joy, which is specifically used to help them forget something horrible that happened in the past. (I have theories.) The story starts when your character goes off his Joy and gets kicked out of society. There's a general sense of unease about everything and the more you learn the more that unease grows. The art style is great and the world building fascinating.

MISC (there’s nothing spoilery here but it feels weird to not have it)

Interactive Horror Story Livestream - Doc has talked a bit about this in at least one of her Xmas streams and it sounds amazing. Not only is Jet hilarious with horror stuff but knowing Doc’s writing skill, it will be something that we’d never want to miss.

Bean Boozle When Failing a Hard Game* - I am a sadistic bitch, I admit to this, and I love watching people eat Bean Boozle, the jelly bean of horrible flavors. One of my favorite videos content creators has done is playing an incredibly difficult game and then being forced to eat a random one every time they fail. 

[team-adults-blog]

4.07 Gimme Shelter

They didn’t even get the rights to play the Stone’s song. 

Let’s talk about chicken nuggets, Grey’s Anatomy, and Ethics.

HERE WE GOOOOO THAT BLACK RAIN IS REAL

Damn everyone just stripped. Hero boys out to save that kid Harper left for dead.

FUUUUCKKKKKKKKKK. I literally had to pause the show and take a moment to calm down. Everyone’s half nakey. I can handle this. It’s just that it’s EVERYONE. ALL AT ONCE. 

“Why don’t you make a fire, you’re good at that” OOOHHHH Octaviaaaaa burn him. Puns.

Big bro Jackson showing Clarke around like a cool bro should. Abby’s smile is radiating (hah) sunshine and can provide all the solar energy that rocket needs. Jackson is so happy for her. Sachin is the best because he only gets these little moments and kills every single one. 

AWWW she needed to see her mom and get a hug. This is so nice. They used to be pretty mad at each other over dumb misunderstandings and now look at them. I’ve missed you so much. It’s important to remember Clarke is what, like 16-17? Listen. She may have been forced to grow up but you’re allowed to turn into a kid again when you go home. I made my mom buy me chicken nuggets over break and I’m older than Clarke so get wrecked. Here I am, going to brewerys with friends and coming home for the nuggets. But I’m like. An adult. So I make them in the oven and not the microwave. Plus you don’t have to count how many nuggets per 11 minutes. You can have as many as you want. This is important to me because I have no self-control. I also talked my friend into buying the dino chicken nuggets so I’ve basically been living off of beer, nuggets, and smoothies. I’m the picture of health.

Raven’s sedated? AKA you couldn’t get her to take it easy. When was the last time you slept? Um. Try the last episode? Murphy wasn’t only asking do I need to go get the doc, but also do I need to go wake the doc. “I’ll sleep soon enough, one way or another” to quote my cutie patootie B, “dark” aaannnndddd Jackson told on you to Clarke anyways because he knew you’d try this crap. 

Bone marrow? Literally Mt. Weather. Ethicssss. Clarke, why are you not alarmed? DOCTOR LORELEI TSING WAS DOING SOMETHING VERY SIMILAR TO YOU MOTHER (who should also remember this) AND NEITHER OF YOU ARE TALKING ETHICS EXPLICITLY TO EACH OTHER? It’s different because Luna is “ok” with giving you her bone marrow, but creating a human test subject against their will? Whoaaa, Nelly. Glad we’re not rushing into this yet. And Emori is going to misinterpret things. Abs is going to make it voluntary like the culling, right? You don’t need to freak out.

Clarke gets laid, 2 hugs, a SHOWER, and a NAP. All in 2 episodes. She is living the dream. That nap is what she needed to be calm and collected later.

Jump scare! Oh shit someone’s here. I hate this. It’s scary. I fucking screamed so loud. I’m hella tired and saw it coming and still. Apparently I use real swear words and more of them when I’m tired.

Yeah, Murphy! Kill ‘em with a cutting board! My weapon of choice in that kitchen. It’s sturdy and will knock a dude out. 2nd choice in that kitchen is a frying pan because it has a handle. #tangled You’d think knives right? You have to be able to get close to use a knife, and that grounder could kick my ass. My strategy: hit him with something sturdy and solid- not heavy because then he’ll see it coming- and then if he’s not k.o.’d  get him in a headlock. we’re not about stab wounds. we’re about concussions. #5andcounting

Guys Forever is coming back! What a good ad too. “It’s a long story.” I screamed. CW cancels a show for low viewership even though it has an interesting plot, only to bring it back 2 years later. “It’s a long story” covers both the behind the scenes process of bringing it back and how he came back to life this time. The water coming out of the body locker? Fantastic. I knew instantly. But I didn’t believe it until I saw his face. I am excited. Amanda in France is excited.

Bellamy distracted driving in the rain and gets stuck in the mud. Kane has zero ability to help. Awful. All he can do is say sit tight, babe. You’re self-sacrificial, but come one. This sucks so much.

Octavia and Ilian stuck in an elevator I mean cave (thanks B for identifying the actual name of the trope because I was just calling it cave but you’re smarter than me). What a classic way to make two people talk or hook up. Have y’all seen Greys Anatomy? People would just halt the elevator to have an important conversation and/or sex. I should have maybe realized this is what it’s called earlier...They’re not using it as much currently (S13 baby), but it got so bad in the early years it became a bit of a running joke that gets carried onto the spin-off, Private Practice:

This screen grab (from the google.com) may actually be from Grey’s while they were still trying to sell the spin-off. Like when Psych had that The Finder episode? I don’t remember, it’s been years. Anyways, on The 100 they’ve used the trope a little more tactfully: S1 Finn/Clarke hook up and acid fog, S2 Kabby talk about deserving/not deserving salvation in Ton DC. Uh there are most def more but I give up.

The trope for the cave scene felt very in your face, glaringly obvious. Ilian tells Octavia his sad story, then he says it’s her turn. O’s gonna pass. Feeling numb hard. But everytime I find myself saying “fuck it, I’m tired of being this way” a little voice (my conscious, not the scary ones) tells me that the “I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all” mindset is actually incredibly unhealthy and dangerous. The show could have played the entire song “Pain” by Three Day’s Grace and it would have been spot on for what’s happening in this scene (except for who’s actually initiating the sex). “Just make me feel something else,” that’s using someone. That’s how you get in trouble with people because you’re not taking their emotions into consideration. So maybe Ilian does want this, but it’s clearly not the way he would want it. He pushes Octavia away more than once before he gives in. It’s so clear from an outside perspective that it’s wrong, and yet it makes sense emotionally. To me at least. I have a lot of repressed memories that are surfacing and I would like to shove them back down where they belong so we’re just going to leave this and go somewhere less personal.

“It’s good to hear your voice.” Damn right I would rather talk about Kabby. SOOOOO sorry to be the bearer of bad news but we’re running out of water Abs. We’re getting pretty desperate. I trust you 100% to make the right choice on your medical ethics question. This whole conversation is great because Paige and Ian are acting alone in radio scenes; they’re not feeding off each other. Being able to bring up that emotion by yourself is commendable (for Bob too) and they’re all so lovely. Back to the plot- Kane has made poor decisions before, most notably the culling, and Abby has pretty much always been on the right side of the moral issue, trusting the people to volunteer. Abby will do the right thing, she always does is Kane’s angle from being wrong as well as building this trusting and loving little thing. Speaking of which, Clarke you didn’t send his love? Sure they radioed later but. This isn’t a “tell them I say hi!” from my mom whenever I go to my brother’s house. This is important! (sorry mom) Now, the questions:

Take a life to save everyone? Is it murder? Even if we don’t call it murder, could I live with myself if I did this? Whenever philosophical questions come up, I want more details before I commit to a side. Specific circumstances will drive the answers. Unfortunately, they’re operating under a lie Emori is telling everyone, a lie that says, he’s a bad guy. A really bad guy. Even if we’re not 100% ok that this is a forcible injection of nightblood and then we’ll see if he dies or can run out into the world, it’s not like we’re doing this to a sweet child. Clarke reassures Abby that it’s a good decision, but Abby was about to do it anyway, so are they framing it as Clarke holding more responsibility? Or did they just want to give her some? Everyone there shares the responsibility- I won’t call it blame just yet because they don’t know- but doing this gives Clarke a bigger piece? Will finding out the circumstances they think are driving the situation are lies change how they feel about their decision?  Of course! Will Abby feel incredibly guilty? Of course! Does it matter to anything other than your conscious that he’s not the bad person Emori lead you to believe he was? You still made the decision to do this against his will. What a #fun plot to explore, especially with Murphy knowing it’s a lie as well. It’s not if the others find out, but when.

The Blakes and dad!Kane are ripping my heart apart. Kane’s just trying to keep Bellamy safe and reassure him. He missteps. Big. “your mother would be proud of the man you’ve become. I know I am.” He reads that Bellamy need to know he’s doing a good job despite things being out of his control. If he had said “I’m proud of you” he would have been fine. But. Ya didn’t. “You floated my mother.” Damn. He sure did. For having Octavia, the other kid you’re highkey trying to parent. Nothing like a good reminder that all of the delinquents have good reasons to hate/ fear Kane because he put them all there. Jaha gave the order to drop them on the Earth, but S1 Kane arrested them and floated a lot of their families (which makes the dad!Kane bits a little sad). It’s a nice slap in the face to wake up and remember ALL of the character development he’s gone through since the pilot. He’s incredible now, but he still has a lot of baggage he hasn’t had to really deal with aside from Octavia and Abby. He and Clarke never even talked about it back S2 when they started teaming up bit by bit.

He blunders the Harper situation because he’s too worried about Bellamy, Peter and Mark/Matthew (I’ve already forgotten which) and Abby. “Who you want to be doesn’t always win.” Ok. True. But that’s a shitty thing to say to Harper who’s already feeling like shit and has told you she’s wrecked with guilt. You dropped the ball there. ESPECIALLY when you’re trying to comfort Octavia after she ALMOST murders Ilian TWO HOURS AGO. ??????. Harper not off killing people, she just freaked out in a crowd/mob/crazed herd environment and this guy grabbed her. She shook him off and instead of fighting to help him, she lets herself be pushed along by the crowd. She’s not a terrible person, her guilt is evident of that.

Bellamy gets back- how did he dig that rover out of the mud all by himself? Kane tries to apologize, Bellamy flips his line from earlier back in his face. “You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.” I can’t save Octavia. You can’t save me. Savage. Gut punch. Which must be even worse when you think about how those arms pushed a 2,000 lb rover out of the mud. Boy packs a punch. Poor Kane. He deserved it after bringing up Aurora Blake, that doesn’t make it hurt less.

Octavia throws her weapons away and is taking Ilian home. She doesn’t want to fight anymore. I’m glad, but I’m not sure how sleeping with Ilian brought her to this conclusion. If I missed a line help me out.

My exact thought process on the last scene: OH MY GOD IT ISN’T HIM. EMORI. MURPHY WHY DO YOU GO FROM ALARM TO SMIRKING AND THINKING “THAT’S MY GIRL.” THIS IS NOT HOT.

Shirtless everyone and cool questions give this episode a 9/10. I’m fine with being unclear as to where Octavia is going, I’m not cool with not understanding the morning after and how that decision was made because its 1) really important and 2)the show acknowledges it’s important enough to show is (unlike Abby’s rings). -1 for that.

[furederiko]

Surprise, surprise! It's the 2nd Random-News-Digest of the month... Just like last one, it's gonna be a shorter one than usual...

Disney Live Action

Production for Guy Ritchie's "Aladdin" has begun in Longcross Studios, UK. FINALLY. It was planned to start in Summer, but then casting was reportedly hit a hurdle, and it was postponed until August. I guess it's now September, then! Will Smith personally announced this via his social media, and it was later 'reblogged' by Disney.

The announcement also confirmed the core cast of the live action remake. As we all know, Mena Massoud and Naomi Scott will play Aladdin and Princess Jasmine, while Smith himself will portray the iconic Genie. Marwan Kenzari is playing the antagonist Jafar, while the Sultan is played by Navid Negahban. This core cast will be joined by several new characters, that to my knowledge, were NOT in the animated movie (unless my eyes have been deceiving me all these years): Jasmine's handmaiden, played by Nasim Pedrad. She might likely serve as the comic relief, considering Pedrad's comedy background; Jafar's right hand Hakim, played by Numan Acar. I seriously hope his inclusion doesn't mean we won't be seeing Jafar's sneaky parrot Iago. THAT would be a huge miss, especially when most Disney live action remakes so far, have been very close to the original animated versions; and last but not least, surprise surprise, Prince Anders, who will be played by Billy Magnussen. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Turns out the movie still NEED a white actor anyway. Anders is said to be Jasmine's suitor and potential husband who hailed from Skanland. This isn't the first time Magnussen plays the only white character in a foreign-setting movie, with the very recent "Birth of the Dragon" as his first.

To be completely honest, I'm still on the fence for this particular remake. Not just because Ritchie's "King Arthur: Legend of the Sword" somehow tanked in the box office. I'm not keen on Smith's casting, and that hasn't changed. There is however, one thing that easily caught my interest: Alan Menken is providing the score, and is in charge with bringing the original songs from the animated movie! Now THAT... is an okay, for me. Not just him, recent Academy Award winner Benj Pasek and Justin Paul (the guys who did "La La Land", in case you forgot their very specific names) contributed two new songs for the movie. The first one might be Jasmine's very own solo song, not unlike Dan Stevens' Beast in "Beauty and the Beast". The other one? With Magnussen's musical background, I have an inkling suspicion that he's going to perform the other new song. Anyways, here's hoping we'll hear more about this movie soon.

Star Wars

Meanwhile, the hurdle that stumbled "Aladdin", had probably moved on towards another Disney property. Yes, in case you haven't heard, Colin Trevorrow will no longer be directing "Star Wars: Episode XI". Creative differences, as they say. As they ALWAYS say. Certainly not unlike Chris Miller and Phil Lord, right? Lucasfilm themselves announced the termination of their collaboration with Trevorrow, so it's not just a whistleblown rumor, but an actual thing.

What happened to Trevorrow? The reason is not perfectly clear until now, but I suspect it has something to do with the performance of his latest work, "The Book of Henry". Not only it had a tremendously weak opening, but its stars were a no-show during the preview too, sending all the wrong message. Apparently, that might truly be the case. Vulture has published a follow-up report since then, and revealed that the split wasn't really a mutual one. It is said that Trevorrow was fired because he was... NOT easy to work with. Other reports claimed he had a strenuous relationship with Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy, that led to her decision to boot the brash and overconfident Trevorrow out of the project.

It's now unclear who will take over Trevorrow's seat. Fans immediately began throwing around names, from the most obvious like J.J. Abrams, Ava Duvernay, to the unlikeliest. The latest report from Deadline, revealed that "Star Wars: The Last Jedi"'s writer/director Rian Johnson is currently on top of the shortlist. No confirmation yet on whether he will take it or not. Judging from Johnson's genuine enthusiasm to the franchise, how much he enjoyed working on his "Episode VIII", and the studio's positive response to it, I won't be surprised if he ends up really stepping in to get a second run. That's the most logical turnout, anyway. Thankfully, the final capper of the modern trilogy isn't expected to begin production until January 2018 (for a May 24th, 2019 release). So it's not a similar situation to what happened with "Han Solo: A Star Wars Story" (tentative title), which have almost completed its filming when Ron Howard entered. If Lucasfilm can get a replacement for Trevorrow right away, the new director will have 3 whole months to adjust the script with new scripwriter Jack Thorne, while preparing for the directorial role.

By the way, have you heard that Joseph Gordon-Levitt might be in "The Last Jedi"? Oh and yeah, there's an "Obi-Wan Kenobi" movie on the works too, with Stephen Daldry signed as director. Will Ewan McGregor return to portray the amazing Jedi master? These are important questions for another day...

James Bond

"Bond 25" has been confirmed, with actor Daniel Craig returning (for the last time?) as the lead. Problem is, the 2019 movie no longer has a distributor, after the agreement with SONY expired with "Spectre". Should fans be worried? Probably not, because several major studios like Warner Brothers, FOX, and Annapurna have entered the bidding for the movie. And they are not alone, because surprise surprise, even Apple and Amazon are among them too. Apple's the one that surprised me, but Amazon? Not really. Just like Netflix, they have been on a streak in producing their own movies and series lately. Adding a franchise as beloved and well known like "James Bond", would be a possibility too big to ignore for the company. Sure, it turns out the franchise doesn't give much profit to its distributor, but I imagine the appeal would benefit it anyway. Let's just wait and see how this turns out.

DC Films

They don't call it Warner Bros, if it's not thinking and talking big, and/or doing things and trying anything without snob and grand ambition. That's mostly why discussing about DC Films tend to be on the... 'annoying' side for me.

You've already heard the recent news, right? WB has approached the great Martin Scorcese to... *drumrolls* create a stand alone solo movie for "The Joker" (obviously not the title, for now). According to recent report, this project will NOT take place in the current DCEU. Which means, WB is already planning on a replacement, just in case the Zack Snyder vehicle continues to perform weak. A good idea and all, but isn't it too ambitious? I get it though, they want to be 'different'. But I digress. The fact is, WB is STILL trying to ape or mimic if not downright copy Marvel's current situation: having multiple Cinematic Universes (Marvel Cinematic Universe, FOX's, SONY's Spider-Man, and now Marvel TV, and Netflix) due to the movie rights being hold by various owners. WB is the single owner of DC properties, but it also wants to have the same thing: that questionable DCEU, and various anthology-style spin-offs NOT bound/related/connected to it. Apparently, having David F. Sandberg's "Shazam" being worked by New Line Cinema (also a WB label), and CW TV Network with its "Arrow-verse" is simply not enough! Yikes... greedy much?

Here's where it got more interesting. Scorsese and Todd Phillips won't be using Jared Leto, because apparently, WB is already thinking BIG, setting their eyes on a much promising name: Leonardo Dicaprio. Make sense really, because Dicaprio has been Scorsese's golden boy in the past few years. Will he take the job though? That one is unclear, leaning towards UNLIKELY (he's currently eyeing a marvel-ous project instead LOL). It was also reported that Leto has not taken this turnout comfortably. I might have totally disliked his pointless-exaggerated performance as the supervillain in "Suicide Squad" (he's a metaphor of how bad the movie as whole), but seriously... Poor Leto.

Speaking of the 'Skwad' movie, "Suicide Squad 2" has possibly found its writer and director! Gavin O'Connor, who previously worked on... WB's "The Accountant" (classic WB, always rotating around their own), has been signed to pen the script and has also entered negotiations to direct. It seems WB is keen on getting the script done right away. The filming however, will not be able to start until Fall 2018, due to Will Smith's other commitments. Unless... speculation and all, Smith is written out from this direct sequel, allowing for production to begin earlier. This is WB, so you can never tell what its bigwigs are thinking, huh? Beside, they need to service an angry Jared Leto, and a growingly important Margot Robbie before the two walks away, so sidelining Smith could still be a possibility in their agenda. What do you think, would you like to see a Deadshot-less Suicide Squad? I'm fine either way, because I'm totally NOT watching this sequel (I'd rather see one for "The Accountant", to be honest). I've already made a fatal mistake watching the first movie anyway... LOL.

All eyes are on Patty Jenkins now, who has just officially signed up to write, direct, and produce another "Wonder Woman" less than 24 hours ago. And not just for double the initial prize, but so much more, which probably explains why the negotiation took a lot longer than usual. Will she continue to do wonders with this sequel for the DCEU, being the only director who had accomplished that so far and all? Her upgraded demand, was it justified, or perhaps a little too much? Can the sequel really do better, or was the first movie's success just an example of an unexpected flux, a one-time-wonder influenced by US current political condition? We'll just have to wait and see...

X-Men Universe

Drew Goddard almost had his major comic book adaptation with SONY's "Sinister Six". He even left behind Marvel TV's "Daredevil" project for that. But then SONY decided that the Spider-Man universe was working, and rebooted it... again. So that super villain team up movie only remained a vague dream. Well, dream no more, because Goddard has finally found a project with prospect.

It's back with Marvel, folks. Not Marvel Studios, nor Marvel TV (although he remained as executive producer for "Daredevil" and "The Defenders") though, it's for... FOX. Yes, according to The Wrap, Goddard has been signed to write and direct that "X-Force" movie. I guess this implies that Joe Carnahan is no longer involved, huh? Pretty sure HE was going to direct and not Goddard. This "X-Force" movie is expected to not only serve as yet another FOX' ensemble movie (they have X-Men, and New Mutants so far), but also a direct spin-off to "Deadpool". That means we can expect Deadpool, along with Domino, and probably Cable to be in it too, right? Then why not just call it... "Deadpool 3"...? O_o

This news can either be good or the opposite. I liked most of Goddard's work before this, so I think it's in good hands. But I'm also quite surprised how "The Defenders" that he executive produced, ended up becoming such a bore. Suffice to say, I'm not so sure about it anymore now. Let's just wait and see...

Oh, one more thing. Turns out Jessica Chastain might NOT be playing Empress Lilandra Neamani in "X-Men: Dark Phoenix". Who is she playing? Don't know and don't care, please consult the nearest X-Men movie enthusiast near you. LOL. Then again, this COULD be related to that statement by writer/director/producer/whatever Simon Kinberg, who stated that this movie would be 'grounded'. Considering the movie will somehow be set in Genosha, which character is your lucky guess? Magneto's other child Polaris? Great goodness, I sincerely hope it won't be FOX' version of Scarlet Witch... O_O

Marvel Studios

Filming set can be a tricky little thing. Sometimes it reveals a little too much, even if it isn't really supposed to (mostly due to fans taking candid pictures and all). The scene of Tilda Swinton's Ancient One's death in New York for example, hit the internet months prior to "Doctor Strange" official release. Such is with the case of UNTITLED 2019's "Avengers 4". Had the movie was filmed concurrently with "Avengers: Infinity War", things wouldn't be as bad. Problem is, Marvel Studios decided to do these two movies one at the time. Production for "Infinity War" had been wrapped in July, and continued with the next movie sometime last month. That means, any behind the scene takes that flew around the internet lately, automatically serve as spoiler for "Infinity War". Regardless of how big or small.

*WARNING: the following paragraphs include reports that might/could(should?) be considered spoilers for "Infinity War". So if you're avoiding that with all cost, then please skip the remaining Marvel Studios category and just move on to the next one.*

Look no further than the actress who was spotted on set late last month. Yes, Gwyneth Paltrow's presence on set, pretty much confirmed she would be returning as Pepper Potts in the movie. Problem is, she was NOT alone. She was doing a scene with... Robert Downey Jr., Mark Ruffalo, and Jon Favreau. You see where I'm going with this, right? That's right, it's proof that Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, and Happy Hogan all make it out of "Infinity War" alive. Meanwhile, a Marvel Studios actor showed up and joined the production of now-Ron Howard's "Star Wars" spin off. Paul Bettany! Wait, why is he NOT among the Marvel Studios set? Could it be because... something bad truly happens to his Vision? It's uncertain for now (the super tall Bettany can still join production later on), but it's one of that undesireable possibilities.

Then there's that generous inspiring "Day of Giving" charity video from the cast of "Avengers 4" and "Ant-Man and the Wasp", dedicated for the Hurricane Harvey's survivor in Texas. It might seem harmless, but pay attention to which actors are included there. We got Scott Lang's Paul Rudd (a spoiler too, though it's pretty much logical if we consider the release dates of his solo sequel), and Hope van Dyne's Evangeline Lilly. Make sense, right? But hold on, who's next...? Zoe Saldana (the spokeperson in behalf of everyone) and Karen Gillan, reprising their roles as Gamora and Nebula. Please don't tell me you think they are in the "Ant-Man" sequel! And how about Don Cheadle, who was also spotted in Atlanta precisely a week ago? Last but not least, a Japanese-esque set was build for the movie, hinting that the movie will probably visit an East Asian country (like it did before with South Korea). The interesting part though, is because it is rumored to feature Scarlett Johansson's Natasha Romanoff taking down criminals! And she might not be alone, because someone else is reported to be joining her, but with a new moniker. MCUExchange reported that... Jeremy Renner's Clint Barton will also be in the movie, but no longer as Hawkeye. He's going to be in it as the elusive anti-hero... Ronin, due to being "in a very dark place". Japan? Ronin (a term for a master-less Samurai)? That's too much to be a coincidence.

In case you're somehow missing out on my points here... Pepper, Iron Man, Hulk, Happy, Ant-Man, Gamora, Nebula, War Machine, Black Widow, and Hawkeye/Ronin are pretty much confirmed to be in the movie, while Vision probably isn't (or is he?). More are coming too! Do you think that's NOT enough to be called spoilers? I rest my case.

Journalist's set visit, is equally dangerous when it comes to harbouring potential spoilers. Usually released a few months before a movie premieres, it's primarily used as an effective marketing tool. Yet it's also a double-edged sword, because while it can generate buzz and attention, it also unleashes a horde of new information that... depending on the case, probably should've been best to be kept as secret. That's right folks, before I move on to the next category, let's talk about "Thor: Ragnarok" quickly!

Arriving alongside that catchy bright-colored individual character posters, embargo for set visit reports has also been lifted. That obviously led to various discoveries and scoop from the movie itself, like: when the movie is set, how it connects to or is influenced by previous Marvel Studios movies, the overall plot rundown and confirmation of a flaming Marvel character, what happens to an absent character, to Asgard, and the antagonist. If you're not privileged with extra time to read the original sites one by one, you can head on to Birth.Movies.Death for a quick digest of what has been reported there so far. I must say, though some of these are really great, there were also some 'sensitive' facts that I would've wanted to discover as I watch the movie late next month (or November 3rd, in other countries). A double-edged sword indeed, and I've already stumbled upon it rather intentionally. Here's hoping this won't ruin my movie-going experience...

And yeah, you can already pre-order your tickets for the movie right now. Don't pretend like you don't give a darn about it, I KNOW deep inside you're already itching to see this movie right away. Am I right? LOL.

Marvel TV

To be honest, I've been thinking about dropping, or at least skipping the upcoming 5th season of Marvel's "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.". The 4th started great, but it ended in a rather disappointing way. Top that with my genuine distaste to that Inhumans series (it premiered on theatres here, but apparently only for one/two days before it's burried under the sand), the WTF disappointment that was that highly anticipated Netflix crossover mini series, and basically... it's an instant JACKPOT.

Well... good job AoS, now you've got my attention (again). Why? Due to the news reported by Entertainment Weekly. Yes folks, the witty and pointless chitty-chatty Lance Hunter is back!!! Hunter is among my very few instant favorites of the show (the other is... duh? Iain De Castecker's Fitz. What can I say, I have a soft spot for Brit smartasses LOL), so of course this is good news. At least, it works in... convincing me to reconsider my initial plan to drop/skip this season.

The big question though, is how and/or why is he back? And what about Adrienne Palicki's Bobbi Morse? The pairing was ceremoniously retired from the show back in Season 3, to pave way for their own series Marvel's "Most Wanted" that sadly never saw the light of day. We never even got to see the pilot episode, while a wasted potential like Inhumans got an IMAX debut. Talk about one truly unfair world, huh? Ever since then, Palicki had scored a leading role in FOX's and Seth McFarlane's scifi comedy "The Orville", so she likely don't have time to join actor Nick Blood's return. Now that I think of it, this fact does make me more worried instead. I can only hope that Hunter's not coming back to be killed off, nor joining the new season because Bobbi has been killed off-screen. That would be an aggravating disservice to both characters. Then again, this IS Marvel TV we're talking about, with the tendency to kill a character as much as they pleases. Should we even expect better? Not really... *sigh*

DC Television

Last we heard, DC was developing a "Titans" series for their very own dedicated streaming service, that is set to be available in 2018. And apparently, it's slowly progressing nicely. Greg Berlanti, the Godfather of the Arrow-verse at CW, is set to executive produce, eventhough it's still unclear whether this new show will take place in the continuity to the other CW superhero series.

Casting is moving forward too, with young teenage actress Teagan Croft being the first cast member to portray the supernatural hero Raven. I haven't heard of Croft until now, mainly because she's more popular in her home country Australia, being part of the soap opera "Home and Away". I've said this over and over again, that Australian show is basically the gateway to Hollywood for Australian actors. Croft is just another name in the long list of talent who are its alumn!

Comparing this casting to the animated series "Teen Titans GO!", it seems "Titans" will be slightly 'younger' than the CW shows. But that's not the case, due to the next casting announcement. African-american actress Anna Diop has been cast as... Koriand'r, an alien character more popularly known as Starfire. Intriguingly, 29 years old Diop is obviously way older than Croft, which means the show could be taking an 'older' route instead. With Dick Grayson's Nightwing and not Robin being said to be the team leader, he might hold the key to this question. Don't forget, Grayson IS famous for being romantically connected with Starfire.

Turns out, the 'older age' route is what the show is aiming after all. This was confirmed by the official casting of Grayson, and he's a name that I doubt any of you would expect. 28 years old Aussie Brenton Thwaites, is DC TV's choice for Robin/Nightwing (apparently, it's still unclear)! If you think his name sounds familiar, that's because he's yet ANOTHER "Home and Away" alumn, and has been featured in numerous Hollywood movies. He was the lead human character in the mythological sci-fi "Gods of Egypt", and his most recent work was "Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Men Tell No Tales", where he played the son of Orlando Bloom and Keira Knighley's characters. Calling him a rising star would be an understatement, because he's been everywhere.

I have to admit, I had a pretty unfair reaction when I first read the news. I actually shouted, "Is this for real? What WERE they thinking?". No offense to Thwaites, I think he's a good actor to his own's worth, but certainly NOT Dick Grayson material. A Tim Drake/ Red Robin or Damian Wayne/ (new) Robin perhaps, but not a Dick. He somehow lacked the physicality and charm I've always expected from former circus performer Grayson, so this casting news was a HUGE let down for me. Then again, this has always been DC's game of beef against me. The company always casts actors I'm not too fond of when it comes to my favorite characters *sigh*. Poor Steven R. McQueen, since the beefier 'dreamboat' is the guy I've been rooting for the character *sigh*. He's around the same age to Thwaites, and has always wanted to play Nightwing (and openly public about it). I guess his stardom (departure from "The Vampire Diaries") just wasn't in the right alignments when DC was casting for this show. Too bad... (dear Steven, please try out for that Nightwing movie instead. Or head over to Marvel Studios for better result!)

Following Thwaites, Alan Ritchson and Minka Kelly joined the series as recurring characters Hank Hall and Dawn Granger. The two is famous as the Hawk & Dove duo, and the plan is for them to have a spinoff series in the future. Wow, already thinking ahead, huh? Their casting also pretty much confirmed that the series is definitely not a "TEEN Titans" adaptation, but the grown-up version.

I was initially kind of genuinely excited about "Titans", because it's going to debut one of my favorite DC characters (mind you, I only have a few). Unfortunately, thanks to this casting... not anymore. To be fair though, the prospect of me paying a subscription to an entirely new streaming service that ONLY has DC titles, is VERY low anyway. My days with DC shows have long gone, I've dropped "Arrow" after Season 2, and never could catch the appeal of the other CW series. "Justice League Action" is the only thing I'm currently following, and clearly that says a lot. Why would I subscribe to a service that I won't probably use? Seems like DC TV is just not fated to be with me...

Super Sentai

As wildly enjoyable and vastly entertaining as it may be, "Uchu Sentai Kyuranger" has passed its halfway point last month. That means it's most logical for TOEI to start moving forward with their plan for next season. Thanks to that, a very strong rumor for the upcoming 2018 series has landed. Courtesy of the ever-helpful and informative Power Rangers aficionado Dukemon. This is not officially confirmed for now, but as proven by past years, it's usually close to being highly reliable. How so? It's customary for TOEI to announce the title sometime around the month of September, so details about it are usually already set to be promoted via toy catalogues.

The source of this rumor, J-Hero, recently posted a report that somehow combined two previous rumors into one. Said rumors were: a vehicle-themed series to celebrate Go-Onger's 10th Anniversary; and a Fairy-Tale themed storyline that incorporated folktale characters like Momotaro, Cinderella, and others. J-Hero claimed, that the title for the next Super Sentai series might be called "Shinsha Sentai Racerranger", with a mix-match theme of Cars + 3D + Fairy Tale. The quantity of members are down to 5 personnels, and the story involves them using racing cars to travel through time, and meet Fairy Tale heroes of Legend.

There were additional technical details as well. Similar to Go-Onger, the Racerrangers will still use 3D cars, but they are also a hybrid of mythical creatures from various Fairy/Folk Tales: Shisha, Kyuubi, Kirin, Buffalo, and Mermaid. Transformation device will be called Mechanitime Changer, with the form of engine and a clock. The collectible gimmick is a 'number 8', which falls in line with the year it's released (2018, duh? And the pattern of decreasing number pattern with 10/Zyuohger, 9/Kyuranger, and then 8) and the quantum theme (8 is also generally used as symbol of Infinity). These members belong to the "Speed Association of Time", and has a logo called RCT (Racing Club Timer). Perhaps, something similar to those Space Police/Quantum Patrol on "Doraemon"?

Considering Kyuranger is currently doing a time travel twist, and 2015's "Kamen Rider Ghost" had already approached the use of historical figures (referring them as... heroes), this rumor might very well be true after all. Do you think these sound interesting? I think it does. At least, TOEI is trying to do something new, not just rehashing the same concept over and over again. That alone will easily persuade me to give it a chance. Of course, all we can do for now is just wait and see. Here's hoping it would be as good if not better than Kyuranger...