#i had my hand over the lid like how a pregnant woman holds her stomach

[not-from-your-town]

UNKLE - Psyence Fiction (1998)

[myafterlifeisbetterthenyours]

Expecting

(A sequel to the Charlie helping her little brother tell their parents he's pregnant (Mpreg) 'oneshot')

You were stood in the room, looking at the chamber that would become your child's nursery.

It was large, as all the rooms in the Satan Manor where, you stood in the centre of the room deciding what should go where.

As you did, you'd hold a hand to your stomach, slowly rubbing the noticeable bulge that was forming in your stomach.

You were already well into your second trimester, your baby belly coming along nicely.

You walked to the nearest window, wondering if you should have the cot where the sunlight could shine in, or should you put it somewhere more covered up, concerned for giving your child too much sun, while also scared of giving them NOT enough sunlight.

As you stood there, conflicted over what should be an easy decision, but for you it felt like a life or death decision for your child.

It'd be as you stood there wondering what would be best for the baby, that your mother would walk into the room with a cart behind her.

"Is everything alright dear?" She asked softly, shooing away the servants that had brought the tray into the room.

Youd spin around, not having heard her enter, her sudden presence having scared the crap out of you.

Taking a deep breath, you looked away sighing, clearly conflicted. Lilith, seeing this even if it wasnt clear as day. Walking up to you she'd cup your cheek, having you look at you

"What's wrong dear?"

Youd sigh, turning back around. "I don't know, I just... I just want to make sure everything is perfect."

At that your Mother just cooed, pulling you into a hug, the woman of course careful of your baby belly.

"Now!" She perked right up. "I'm sure your famished. Nothing works up an apatite like being an expecting Mother." She told you warmly and with authority, clearly knowing what she's talking about.

Lilith had been referring to you as a mother more and more.

Now you didn't mind, you technically were a mother it was just taking you some time to get used to.

So, with a smile of your own you told her.

"Oh by Father you have no idea how hungry I am." You paused, looking over at your mother, finding the woman's brow cocked, wearing a little smile. "Hehe, sorry." You finished timidly.

"But regardless, I'm hungry like... alllll the time. And I'm always craving-"

Before you could finish your mother pulled open one of the silver trays revealing a jumbo sized jar of pickles.

"Oh dad yes!" You cheered, snatching the jar up, popping the lid off and snatching up a pickle.

You bit into it like it were your first meal in eons, hungrily chomping it down, one bite at a time.

You released a guttural moan, grabbing another one before pausing, looking up to find your mother just staring at you. The woman wearing an adoring smile, you just lowering the jar, wiping your mouth.

"Heh, sorry." You'd tell her awkwardly, a little blush crossing your cheeks.

Lilith just cupped your cheek, telling you. "You've nothing to be sorry for darling." She'd lean in, kissing your forehead. "I know well enough how those cravings hit, by the Ring's I couldn't tell you how many tubs of Ice Cream I ate during my pregnancy with Charlie."

Pulling back the two of you would chat over your meal/jar, the two of you discussing how you should decorate the nursery.

Your mother would suggest a colour scheme, telling you how the painters could have it done in a day or so with little issue.

To that you'd snap back to her, telling her. "N-no!" To which Lilith paused, turning to you. "What?"

To that youd scratch your cheek, telling her hesitantly.

"Um, well, I Uh, I thought we could do it. Ya know, like, remember when we were little and Charlie wanted to paint her room."

That got a nod from her.

"And of course, being a little brother, suddenly I wanted to paint my room as well."

You both chuckled remembering it all. "And we painted it together. All four of us. And yes it wasnt pretty, but I love that memory and I want to give that same kind if care in my child's room."

Lilith just smiled, the both of you fondly remembering the time you'd spent painting yours and your elder sisters rooms.

You both chuckled, nodding your head a little.

"We had no idea what we were doing back then..." your mother hummed, to which you chuckled, the both of you bursting into giggles.

You both chuckled for several moments, your mother holding a hand to her mouth.

You chuckled, leaning against the cart, releasing a heavy sigh. "But I loved that room, still do. I'm proud to this day I helped paint it, and well, I want my child to grow up on a room with such love and care, even if it's... less then perfect."

Lilith looked over at you, humming before she'd lean over, pulling you close and hugging you close, kissing your cheek as she told you softly.

"I'm so proud of you darling. Your going to be an excellent mother, and I'll always love you." She finished softly, holding you to her chest.

At that you just stopped, freezing for a moment before Slumping into your mother's embrace, just embraced your mother's love.

Charlie was grinning ear to ear, the young lady pulling up to the Satan Manor in her private car, and as soon as the limousine stopped she jumped out.

The girl held an armful of stuffed animals, and as soon as she stepped out of the car she bolted. It took her less then a minute to find you in your new nursery, already having a good idea where it'd be.

She'd dump the toys before rushing forwards and hugging you, being extra careful of your baby belly.

"Charlie!" You sputtered.

Spinning around you'd smack her arm, hand holding your belly protectively. "Don't do that!" You told through a smile.

She'd just smile back, stepping back and grabbing her stuffed animals. "I brought you these." She told you with a big grin.

Youd sigh, stepping forwards and picking out a little bird plushy. Holding it for a moment you sighed thanking her.

Dumping the plushies to the side you'd look around the room, the chamber clearly having been prepped for painting. "Sooo... whatcha doing?" She asked as simply as she always did.

"Your just in time actually, me and mum have got everything set up for something III think you'll like."

"Oooh, and what's that?" She asked all smiles. Or well, as smiley as she always is.

As you smiled back, about to tell her, Lilith was walk back in, the tall empress of Hell wearing some stereotypically humble overalls. Still looking unimaginably elegant and appealing in your mother's form.

She'd walk in with some paint cans, followed by your father entering with arms full of painting stuff.

Brushes and trays and such.

He'd pause upon seeing Charlie, the two of them staring at each other for several moments before he greeted her curtly.

"Charlie."

To which she'd respond in kind.

"Dad."

There was several seconds of pregnant silence, hehe, before he turned to you, the man dumping all the painting supplies on the floor before he stepped forwards, pulling you into a hug before placing a hand on your stomach. "Your getting along now darling." He told you warmly, looking down at your stomach.

Youd chuckle, telling him warmly that you were, and it felt like your baby was getting bigger each day.

After a few more moments and chuckles, youd step back, turning back to Charlie, telling her. "Well, you remember our first room?"

To that Charlie would nod her head, telling you happily. "Of course, I lived in it till I was 16." She told you with a chuckle.

You had in fact lived in your childhood rooms till you entered your teens, then as most teens did, you sought to redesign yourself, and so you moved out of those rooms.

Of course you kept them, the walls still marked with your youth, the memories were still there, you just wetent in your rooms.

So, walking over, you grabbed a paint brush, telling her you wanted your child's room to have that same personality. The same love and care, and you hoped she'd join you.

Charlie would beam, loving the Idea as she quickly snatched up a paint brush, telling you she ready as Hell!

Of course this would be when Vaggie arrived, the young lady walking in with a servant, this being when your elder sister realised she'd pretty much, in her excitment, abandoned her at the door.

So, with that awkward little smile walked over to her. "Hey sweetie, uhhh... sorry?"

Vaggie stared at her for several moments before walking over to you, taking your hands into hers as she greeted you warmly. "Hey (Y/N), your looking good. Got a real baby bump going."

Youd chuckled, greeting her right back. "Hey Vaggie. Yeah." You smiled warmly, rubbing your stomach. "The doctors say they're coming along nicely despite... well, you know, me being the mum."

Vaggie giggled, raising a brow. "They? Don't you know if your having a Prince or Princess yet?" She asked halfway between playfulness and genuine confusion.

You waved your hand playfully. "Nah, I intentionally didn't find out. I want it to be a surprise."

Vaggie just smiled, gently running a hand over your stomach.

"We're going to paint the nursery together, kind of a family tradition. Would you care to join us?" You asked her.

Vaggie pulled back a little, scratching her neck. "OH, I don't know, I don't want to intrude." She told you, clearly unsure.

"Nonsense!" Your father quickly cut in, walking over and pulling her into his side. "More the merrier and all that!"

So, with an awkward smile, Vaggie received a paintbrush from the devil before your family dispersed, grabbing the paint cans and pouring them into the trays, they began.

You began with a base white layer as to make the later layers easier. Afterwards the lot of you all standing around, mingling as it dried.

Then, once it'd dried out, you'd all begin painting a wall.

You and your mother would take one, Charlie and Vaggie another, and your father taking his very own, the man choosing the one with the window.

You and your mother painted a rather charming cityscape. Painting a sprawling city image, putting in every little detail you cared too, paying special attention to the depiction of Satan Manor.

Your father took great pride in painting a sprawling hillside with a grand apple tree. A poetic depiction of an apple hanging down, a serpent curled along one of the tree branches.

And of course, Charlie and Vaggie covered their wall with,an explosion of colourful and wonderful images. A acid trip of rainbows, toys and all good things fluffy from your sister.

Of course, Vaggie went for the more maternal instincts. Painting crude baby pacifiers and toys all across the wall.

But also a few depiction of friendship and childhood, the girl painting a surprisingly detailed depiction of you and your sister as children.

Youd work on your respective works for the next few hours, taking great pride in your works, eventually forced to stop to allow the paint to dry.

As you did, you'd all step into another room, the same room where you'd pulled out all your old baby furniture, cleaning them up in preparation for your new baby.

Youd stand up, walking over to your old crib, gently running a hand over the polished wooden rim.

You had so many fond memories in that very cot. You remembered how your father would read you bedtime stories. How your mother would nurse and rock you to sleep before tucking you in.

And how you and Charlie would curl up at night, talking or playing, the two of you spending countless naps or nights curled up and sleeping together.

Youd stand there a long time, just stood before the crib that essentially symbolised your childhood.

Your family (plus Vaggie) would be talking, finishing up their lunches as they mingled, the lot not noticing you until a while later.

Your mother would call to you, but when she got no reaction, she'd call again, this getting the rest's attention.

So, getting no reaction from you, everyone paused, turning their attention to you. And genuinely concerned, your mother got up and approached you.

"Dear, is everything alright?" She asked softly.

You didn't turn, instead you just stood there, form almost gently shaking as you h7nched over your cot, and so, panicked, your mother spun you around, finding you a crying mess.

Your mother instantly pulled you close, filled with concern as she asked you shocked. "(Y/N)! What's wrong?!"

Everyone else quickly got to their feet, ech as panic and worried as the last.

You just broke into sobs, holding your stomach, as you slumped forwards.

Your family were in a tizzy, all caring and trying to figure out what was wrong. Lilith, taking a handle of the chaotic situation, would grip your face, asking you firmly.

"(Y/N)! Tell me what's wrong!" She ordered in a tone only a mother could muster.

Youd sniffle, wiping your nose before telling her. "I... I don't... I'm so scared!" You sobbed, holding a hand to your mouth.

There was several moments of silence before Lilith would gently hold you close for several moments before asking you softly.

"What are you scared of?"

You wiped your nose once more, you'd look over at the cot, walking over and gripping the side. "I'm scared that..."

Youd glance at your family before staring down at your stomach. "I'm terrified I'll fail my baby..."

No one spoke, each member of your family feeling a cocktail of sympathy, confusion and concern.

You continued, slumping forwrards, still upset. "I... I'm hardly a Mother... Father... Fuck I dont know! I have no idea what I'm doing, I'm a Prince! Not a fucking mother! I havent a clue how to raise a child!"

"I have no idea how to raise a baby! I couldn't even keep my Boyfriend! How HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF A FUCKING BABY!" You shouted at them hot tears spewing from your eyes.

You shook, tears streaming as you barely held it together, a hand never leaving your stomach as you silently sobbed.

"I... I can't do this..." You sobbed, hot tears streaming down your face once more.

No one moved, until your Mother stepped forwards, she'd reached out, grabbing you by the shirt before pulling you forward harshly, staring down at you with a cold gaze you'd never seen from the woman.

"M-Mum?" You'd ask, unsure of what was happening.

Lilith would keep a firm appearance before telling you coldly. "Don't you dare."

There'd be a moment of harsh silence before she'd tell you. "Don't you EVER doubt yourself like that again. Do you hear me!" She told you harshly.

"You aren't responsible for the behavior of a narcissistic, shit headed, simple minded fuck head of an Ex! And if you ever blame yourself for his behavour again, I'll correct you myself!" She told you harshly, staring doen at you before holding you to your bosom.

You stared at her, for a moment, before she pulled you into a tight hug.

"Do you think I knew everything with my first child?" She asked softly. "I had to learn a lot when I had Charlie, and then you. And for a long time I doubted myself."

"Your boyfriend was a bastard for putting you in such a position, putting you through that, and I'm truly sorry I didn't see how much his betrayal hurt you."

She pulled back, cupping your cheek. "Your so brave and I can't imagine what your going through, but we're all here for you."

Your father stepped in after that, pulling you into his own embrace. And after several moments of comfort, he'd turn you to him.

He cupped your cheek, telling you softly. "There is nothing that I can say that could prepare you for parenthood... but you're not going to be doing it alone."

He'd turn you to the rest of your family, Lilith having a hand on your back as you looked over at Charlie anf Vaggie, glancing over to your mother, you found her simply smiling down at you.

Looking back to your father he gently cupped your cheek, smiling down at you he assured you warmly. "You have your family... andwe'll never leave you."

You stood there for a minute or two, staring at the loving smiles and compassionate eyes you couldn't help the swelling of emotions in your chest and before you knew it, you were a sobbing mess, leaning into your father's shoulder, clinging to his jacket as you broke down, clinging to him as you sobbed your little heart out.

Lilith cooed, pulling you in as Charlie practically toppled over the table as she leaped over and joined the hug, each of them hugging you, consoling you the best they could.

Vaggie would join... kinda. The girl hugging Charlie more than anyone else, but still doing her best to give positive vibes.

Youd stay like that for a long while, and despite the harsh emotions, youd quickly stop crying, just basking in your families embrace, holding your father close, your mother softly running a hand over your back as you just held your father close.

Charlie of course, just held onto you the best she could, telling you softly how much she loved you, telling you you were her favourite person and that she'd be there for you no matter what.

Youd spend the rest of the day with your family, each of them giving you attention in their own considerate kind of way, always careful not to mention anything that may remind you of your ex, but always happily discussing your baby, wondering what they'll be like.

Youd happily play along, you and your family slowly moving furniture into the Nursery, carefully setting it up for your future child much to your joy.

By the end of it you'd all be sat on a rather comfy couch, you leaning against your mother as she played with your hair, the two of you discussing the worst and best parts of having a child.

Youd slowly drift away on your mother shoulder, quickly falling into sleepy land, passing out quickly on your mother's shoulder.

She'd allow you toumble out assurances to your sister, the woman speaking with Charlie and her girlfriend. You slumped against her, completely unconscious, hands holding your bulging belly.

The three girls all commenting on it, commenting on how well you'll be as a parent.

Your family would eventually tuck you into bed, leaving you to sleep, a collection of Charlie's stuffed animals left to comfort you.

Charlie, Lilith, Lucifer and even Vaggie sat at a table, all agree on one thing.

You ex needed to fucking die! And well that was the nest step, soon as you were set into your new habitat.

[wh0reifyoudontexist]

hi, i think the worst thing a man can do is cheat on a pregnant woman so could i request a fic with draco with that plot?

but that draco really loves his wife and someone from his environment influences him to cheat on her and from there whatever you want to happen:(

WAAAAAH ANGST MY FAVORITE

first words

draco malfoy x reader

post hogwarts

angst

request: yes | no

summary: draco cheats on his pregnant wife (i am not good at summaries excuse me)

warnings: curse words, cheating, i think that's it? tell me if i missed a few 😽

masterlist | navigation

"shit"

first word ever said between the two of them, needless to say that's the start of a romance novel; cliche isn't it?

spilled coffee all over a cream colored blouse, tears threatening to fall out of lids, ears ringing and full of apologies falling out of the mouth of a blonde that stood in front of her, one hand grasping a handkerchief, the other on her waist guiding the woman onto the side of diagon alley.

"i'm sorry, i didn't mean to," he said sincerely carefully damping the cloth in hand on her brown stained blouse, "let me make it up to you?" he questioned finally looking up at her, who's brows have been furrowed the whole time.

instead of answering, she lifted one of her arms, eyes straight on the watch enclosed on her wrist, before rubbing her face with both of her hands sighing loudly, "sure." she finally said, dismissing the thought to tell him she was expected to be in an interview 10 minutes ago.

and instead let him lead her to a cafe with his hand on her back.

that was a decade ago. now 29 married and pregnant with the same man who cost her a job; not that she needs one now.

setting down the cup of tea, circling her thumb on her swollen belly, feeling a kick "hi there darling, how you holding up in there?" she smiled, "your daddy's gonna be here soon, bet you're excited aren't you?" she whispered as she bought her hand up to kiss it before placing it on top of her stomach once more, rubbing it gently, "love you, little one"

what she didn't know? oh, it was that her husband wasn't going to 'be here soon'

she laid in bed moving to lay on her left, hand smoothing out her husband's side, brushing away non-existent dirt. 'he must have a lot of work left' was her mindset at that moment,

breathing out a sigh, she kissed her hand one last time for the night, placing it right above her stomach heading to sleep.

"don't you miss it?"

"shove off, dilton. i need to get home," draco said pushing away his co-worker out of his way, ready to go home and be greeted by his lovely wife, ready to smother her with kisses, ready to talk to his unborn son.

"oh come on malfoy! just this once, please?"

is he serious?

convincing a married man to cheat on his wife? his pregnant wife?

ignoring him, he continued his way to the floo network of the ministry, only to be stopped by aaron dilton's voice,

"you really have changed, what happened to the malfoy back at hogwarts? the one who wouldn't give a single fuck about the girls he slept with? you're boring, that must be how it is for married men. don't you ever get bored of your wife?"

if draco wasn't listening before he definitely was now, ears turning red at the mention of his wife spoken of so in such a vile manner,

but no. if only that wasn't the case, he wouldn't admit it but something did snap inside of him at dilton's words causing him to turn around, face him and do something that will leave him feeling nothing but regret the following day,

but that's a problem meant to be solved tomorrow.

"where were you?"

he froze, steps halting when he lifted his face to look at his wife, a furrow adorning her brow, wrapped around a midnight blue robe, furs at the end. "got caught up with work," he lied "sorry love"

"that's alright. come on up, let's sleep" something about her tone made him think she didn't believe him,

and why would she? his hair's all ruffled, shirt untucked and rumpled, but that's what happens when you're too busy stressing right? you forget about how you look, and sigh frustratedly, hands rubbing your face roughly that you look like you've just awoken from a deep slumber.

oh how he wished that was what happened, heart breaking at the thought of someone hurting her wife, mentally or physically, but what hurt more? knowing that it was him that'll hurt her,

but it doesn't matter she won't find out... right?

the next time it happens, he wasn't pushed into doing it, he wanted to prove something. he wanted them to know that he was still the same as they were in hogwarts, something about him turning soft made him frustrated, frustrated about what his fellow peers will say,

and the next time it happens, he won't be so lucky as the last, he shouldn't have even gotten away with it

skipping work with his 'friends' and going home so early to not be suspected of anything,

by the time he enters the door to their manor, he froze mid-step upon seeing his wife approaching him a cup in hand, a smile on her blemish free face.

"hi, i missed you," she breathed onto his neck, her head tucked between the area where his neck and shoulder met,

unbeknownst to him, she was trying her hardest not to let a tear slip from her eyes, smelling cheap perfume stuck on his skin, small and unnoticeable marks on his porcelain skin, you have to really squeeze your eyes to see them, for her case she doesn't have to, it's so close to her face that she had to turn her head to the other side before finally letting him go,

"i didn't know you were gonna be home so early, i haven't prepared any food yet," she spoke trying her best to keep her voice steady as possible though failing as there was a little crack at the end, which the tall man didn't even notice.

doesn't he love her anymore? how did he not notice that little squeak of her voice? isn't he supposed to know every little thing about his significant half?

"it's okay love," he kissed her head, sniffing a bit of her watermelon shampoo, heart breaking a little more,

"i'll do it. you deserve it." he smiled pecking her lips one last time before disappearing inside the kitchen, the pregnant woman left to stand outside in the cold room.

"love, dinner's ready" he called softly beside the sleeping figure, she answered with a nod, gathering to pull herself up from the couch only to be stopped by a hand coming in front of her eyesight,

she took hold of it reluctantly lifting her and her son up and away from the comfy abode she wished would swallow her up.

'i'm ready' those words were repeating in her mind as she sat silently on her side of their bed waiting patiently and nervously for her hus— draco to finish in the bathroom.

once she heard the sound of a door opening, clicking just as fast as it opened, she spoke

"how could you?" no need to act stupid, be straight and blunt.

"darling? how could i what?" taking a shower was no use, he was already starting to sweat,

"no need to act stupid, draco." was all she said before standing up from her position and packing up her belongings,

maybe it's the hormones, but she does not want to see his face again.

"i'm sorry. i didn't mean to"

flashbacks happened. she was taken back to the time where they first met, the first thing he ever said to her.

anger took over her appearance but just sighed loudly not wanting to pick a fight afraid it'll cause something to their baby.

"please, darling let's talk about this. don't leave. i love you, so so much," he began as tears streamed down his face as he knelt in front of her hugging her legs to keep her from going, bags in hand.

"draco." she sighed, tired. but he wouldn't move, he can't afford to lose her, the love of his life,

"draco, please!" she shoved him away from her legs before it's too late and she forgives him.

"just- just please.. i need time." she stated before going out their bedroom,

"shit!" she exclaimed when her hand accidentally hit a vase, causing it to shatter and make a loud banging noise all throughout the empty, and lonely manor.

ironic isn't it? how her first words are also the last words she'll say to him, leaving him a broken mess,

part 2

[jaehyunhour]

BACK 2 U | jung jaehyun

genre + idol → hanahaki au, angst, smut, babydaddy!jaehyun (ft. johnny suh)

word count → 4.9k

warnings → tiniest bit of cursing, protected sex

summary → you and jaehyun have been together for years now and have just had your first child. you couldn’t be happier to be with the man you love, but what happens when jaehyun starts staying late at work, you start coughing up flowers, and you’re left alone with the baby? even worse, what happens when jaehyun comes crawling back years later but you can no longer love him again?

“I’m sorry I couldn’t make you stay. I promise I will tell Jieun good things about you, Yoonoh.”

“Don’t apologize, it’s my fault. I hurt you.”

a/n → have fun with this one, i’m not sure how to feel about the ending but sigh this one really hurt to write..... also please don’t ask me for a part two because i will not write one lol i love y’all but not every story needs a part two

For many people, their worst fears are being buried alive, spiders, something along those lines. But your worst fear had always been falling out of love. Whether you are the one falling out of love with someone, or the other way around, just the thought made you stressed. On one hand, if you fall out of love someone, you cause them irreparable pain, flowers growing in their lungs until they can’t breathe. And on the other hand, if someone falls out of love with you, you’re the one suffering. There’s no winning.

But for the first time in your life, this fear is thrown out of the window. The first time Jaehyun tells you “I love you, I want to be with you forever” you feel the fear leave your body. A weight is lifted off your chest, you can finally breathe again. He sounds so sincere when he says it, it must be true.

And as the years pass, and you spend more and more of your life with him, you know that you never want to love anyone else in this, or any lifetime. He is who you are meant to spend your life with. You and Jaehyun are meant to have children together, grow old together, and be in love for the rest of your life.

One day, Jaehyun stomps into your shared home with his eyebrows furrowed and lips in a pout. You rush to meet him at the door, quickly taking his face in your hands and kissing the pout off his lips.

“Long day?” You ask.

He nods. “You have absolutely no idea. Happy to see your pretty face, though.”

“Could say the same to you, handsome. Go lay down, I’ll make you dinner. I have something to tell you after we eat.”

You skip over to the kitchen, quickly taking ingredients out of the fridge and cabinet to make dinner for you and Jaehyun. The last few weeks, Jaehyun had been leaving in the early morning for work, leaving you alone for most of the day. You’d been waking up with terrible morning sickness, and after going to the doctor earlier in the day, found out you were pregnant. Jaehyun hadn’t asked to marry you yet, and he still had years ahead of him in his career, but you knew this is something you both wanted.

Jaehyun watches as you cook from the kitchen table, feeling his heart inflate with how much love he has for you.

“I can’t wait for the day I get to marry you.”

“Well, we could be planning a wedding right now but you haven’t asked me to marry you yet.” You drop the last few things into the pot, setting the lid on it before crawling into Jaehyun’s lap and wrapping your arms around him.

“I don’t want to have to plan a wedding and go to the courthouse or anything. I just want you to be my wife.”

“Then ask me to be your wife.”

“Y/N,” Jaehyun says, hands gripping onto your hips tightly, eyes flickering from your eyes, to your lips, then back up to your eyes. “Will you— Wait. Wait here.” He pushes you off him and you sit on the chair as you wait for him. He comes back a few moments later, fist closed tightly around something. He gets down on his knees in front of you, grabbing both of your hands with one of his and smiles. “Y/N, will you be my wife?” He opens his palm, revealing the diamond ring you had pointed out over a month ago when you went searching for couple rings.

You nod, and he slips the ring onto your ring finger. He kisses your hand before placing it back down on your lap, admiring the way the ring looks on your finger.

“Alright, I have something for you now.”

“Don’t know if whatever you have planned could be better than you finally becoming my wife.”

“I’m pregnant.”

“Oh- I- Oh. Oh, that’s definitely better.”

Jaehyun is incredible throughout your pregnancy. He takes time off of work to stay home with you, builds and decorates the nursery, even packs your hospital bag as the days inch closer to your due date. But in the last month of your pregnancy, Jaehyun is quickly pulled back to work and you’re left alone with a swollen belly and complete nursery. You can’t even nest because Jaehyun already did it for you — he didn’t want you to lift a finger until the baby came. The last three weeks have been lonely. Jaehyun comes home in the middle of the night, he spends the weekends away on business trips, is always hunched over his computer in the living room when he is home, and you feel like he’s slipping through your fingertips. You want him home, in bed with you, with your baby, before your attention is completely on her.

The longer Jaehyun is away from you, the more nervous you get. Every time he leaves overnight you’re worried he won’t make it back in time for the baby’s birth. And when he calls you from his trips, and you hear a woman’s voice in the background, your throat begins hurting and your irrational fear of falling out of love resurfaces. You feel something stir in your stomach and you panic.

“Come home, baby. Please,” you say quietly.

“Honey, I’m working, I can’t just—”

“— Please, Yoonoh. I don’t want to have this baby alone.”

You feel selfish. Maybe nothing is actually wrong, but the pain in your throat and the feeling in your stomach is too much to ignore. He rushes home, and within hours is in bed with you, thin fingers placed on the highest point of your belly, fingertips tapping and waiting for the baby to react and kick.

“Do you think there’s a reason she’s not kicking?”

“She’s sleeping. Enjoying her last moment’s in mama’s belly before she’s brought out into the real world. Don’t bother her.”

“You’re funny,” he says. “I have always loved that about you.”

The first few weeks of coughing flowers are uncomfortable, but bearable. Jaehyun isn’t around to see you suffer — staying extra late at work, continuing to go on business trips, attending meetings — and you wonder what his new infatuation is like as you breastfeed your newborn daughter and suppress a cough. She must be one hell of a woman if she can tear a man away from his wife and newborn child. You sit in the nursery Jaehyun insisted on decorating himself, illuminated only by the string lights hanging across the room. Once your daughter is done feeding, you sit her up and begin burping her. You pat her back, listening to her slight hiccups and feel your chest tighten.

She spits up after a few more moments and you clean her up, before setting her back in the crib where she quickly falls asleep. You stare at her sleeping figure and finally let out the cough you’d been holding in, plucking the red petals from your lips and tearing it apart with your fingers. It falls on the floor, and then you hear the front door open and Jaehyun’s footsteps heading into the nursery.

“I just put her down,” you say when he gets to the door. “Let’s go to bed.”

You get into bed quickly, with Jaehyun following shortly behind. Once in bed, you turn your back to him and sink into the sheets. He crawls into bed next to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

“Missed you today, baby,” he mumbles against your skin.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Did you really think you would be able to get away with it?”

Jaehyun tenses for a second, but then relaxes again. “What are you talking about?”

“Jaehyun… We live in a cruel, cruel world,” you whisper. “I can’t even feed my own daughter without feeling like I’m going to choke on the flowers growing inside of me. Did you really think you’d be able to get away with it?”

 The room is uncomfortably silent. The baby monitor on the bedside table is on, and you can hear your daughter in the other room making noises as she sleeps. Tears begin to fall down your face and you suppress the sob that is bubbling in your chest.

“I don’t know what to say,” Jaehyun responds.

“When I wake up in the morning, I want you out of my house,” you pick up the baby monitor and reach behind your back, letting it fall between your bodies. “If the baby cries in the night, you tend to her. Enjoy your last moments with her.” His grip on your body tightens.

“Y/N—” Jaehyun starts, but you push him off you and get out of bed.

“I’m going to go sleep on the couch,” you say, grabbing a pillow and a blanket from your closet. Once you get to the door, you stop and look at him laying in your bed. “Goodnight, Jaehyun. I really do love you. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough.”

You lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling and listening to the noises of your house. The refrigerator running, the fan running in your bedroom, Jaehyun’s footsteps as he walks around your shared bedroom.

In the bedroom, Jaehyun paces around the room trying to figure out what to do. Surely he loves you, as the mother of his child, but that wasn’t enough. What if I ask her to start over? he thinks. But that could kill her. If we start from the beginning again, try to fall in love again, try to put back together our already broken relationship and it didn’t work, the flowers would fill her lungs and kill her. And if she got the surgery, she would never love me again.

As he’s packing his things, the baby begins crying and it takes him several moments to process what is happening. By the time he realizes the baby is crying and he heads to the nursery, you’re already in there, holding the baby in your arms and sitting in the rocking chair in the corner.

He watches you with the baby and his chest begins to feel heavy. You look so beautiful holding the baby, rocking back and forth in the chair with your eyes closed. Jaehyun wishes so badly he could continue loving you the way you love him. You clear your throat and bring him out of his trance.

“Jieun-ah,” you whisper quietly, tears falling down your face. “i’m sorry I couldn’t get your appa to continue loving me for you. I promise I will only tell you good things about him when you’re older.”

He lets out a sigh before returning back to the bedroom. He packs all of his things up in his suitcases and watches the sun rise from the balcony of your bedroom. A chill runs down his spine as he watches the sun go higher and higher. After one last check throughout the room to make sure all of his things are packed, he sneaks into the nursery to look at your daughter.

He’s surprised to see you in there, inside the crib, lying in the fetal position next to your daughter. He checks the time on his phone, it’s 7:34 a.m. and he realizes any moment now the baby will wake up and want to eat. He heads into the kitchen, heating up a bottle and as soon as he steps back into the nursery, the baby wakes up and lets out a loud cry. You stir, ready to take her and feed her, but as your eyes open, you see Jaehyun in the rocking chair holding her and leading the bottle into her mouth.

“Sleep,” he says. “I’ll leave after this, I promise. Just want to feed my daughter before I go.”

“You know, you never told me why you wanted to name her Jieun,” you say, pulling the blanket over your body and laying back down.

Jaehyun stares down at your daughter eating, memorizing every inch of her face as if it is the last time he will ever see her. She has his eyes but your nose, your ears but his lips. She’s so perfect he could almost cry. He blinks away the tears that surface.

“My father’s name is Jihoon, and my mother’s name is Eunha. So I took one syllable from each of their names for hers. Ji means purpose, and Eun means kindness. I wanted to give her a name that meant something,” he says. “My parents named me Jaehyun for no reason, so I had to change it to Yoonoh when I was older but no one ever calls me that. I wanted different for my kids.”

“I see… I left your ring for you on the coffee table,” you sit back up and watch as she finishes the last of her bottle. “I can burp her if you want.”

Jaehyun shakes his head no, placing her in his lap and holding her upright. He burps her quickly, cleaning her up and placing her back in the crib next to you. He pulls you into a hug and you break down, sobbing into his chest.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t make you stay,” you say, trying not to wake the baby who just knocked back out. “I promise I will tell Jieun good things about you, Yoonoh.”

“Don’t apologize, it’s my fault. I hurt you,” he responds. He pulls back, placing a kiss on your forehead, walking out of the nursery and closing the door behind him.

And with that, Jaehyun walks out of your life.

It’s 3 a.m. on a Tuesday, and you hear the baby begin to cry from the nursery. It’s been 4 months since Jaehyun has left, but you still stir in bed and call out for him.

“Jaehyun — the baby,” you mumble, sinking further into the sheets. She cries harder and you groan. “Yah, Jung Jaehyun, your baby is calling for you.” You sit up in bed annoyed, looking over to the other side of the bed and realize Jaehyun isn’t there. He hasn’t been for months.

“Fuck, I need to stop doing that,” you say, running your hands through your hair, putting your slippers on and running over to the nursery.

You place Jieun into the baby carrier strapped onto your body, slipping a mask on before grabbing your keys and heading towards the door. As you open the door, you’re met with Johnny’s tall body and his hand in mid-air.

“Johnny— oh. I was just about to go on a walk. What’s up?”

“I just wanted to come check on you… Jaehyun doesn’t know I’m here.”

Johnny accompanies you on your walk, offering to take the baby and give you a break.

“How old is she now?”

“Ten months. Every day she looks more and more like Jaehyun and it kills me.”

“She’s getting so big. You ever think of getting a step-dad for her?”

“Surely you didn’t come all the way across town to hit on me, Mr. Suh. I’m still working on trying to get her real dad to come around and see her, haven’t even thought about a step-dad.”

“I’m kidding, you know that,” Johnny stops in his tracks in front of the first coffee shop you see. “Do you want coffee?”

“I’m still breastfeeding, I don’t want to drink any caffeine. But I’ll wait while you get something.”

Johnny enters the shop quickly, coming out in a few minutes with a drink in hand. “Does Jaehyun really not come around?”

You shake your head no. “I called him the other day and he got mad at me for calling.”

You think back to a couple of weeks ago when you called Jaehyun. You were sitting on the living room floor, Jieun in the baby swing as you cooed and tried to get her to talk back to you. Before then, all she had done was babble incoherently and you felt less than the other mothers in your classes whose babies have already said at least a couple of words.

“C’mon, sweet girl, just say mama. Just once, I won’t tell anyone I promise,” you said quietly, finger on her chin and moving her lips.

And before you could even process, the word mama left her lips and you gasped. “Did you just say that? Oh my god, I need to call your dad.”

You grabbed your phone from the couch, dialed Jaehyun’s number and he picked up almost instantly.

“What do you want?” He snarled from the other side of the phone.

You rolled your eyes. “God, I hate you.”

“If you hate me, then why’d you even call?”

“Well, for your information, your daughter just said her first word. I thought you’d want to know.”

“What’d she say?”

“Mama.”

“That’s nice, Y/N. Look, I have to go, I’m working,” He said quickly, hanging up the phone and you groaned.

“I don’t even know why I try with him anymore. You would think he would actually want to hear about his daughter’s milestones at the very least, you know, make sure she’s still alive. But he doesn’t care. I’ll get over it, eventually.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. You don’t deserve this. How did you, y’know, deal with the flowers?”

“Oh, I got the surgery a few days after he left. I left Jieun with my mom for a weekend and got it done. I wasn’t going to wait around for Jaehyun to maybe come back and start loving me again. I don’t have that kind of time, I have a baby now.”

“Damn. You’re stone-cold, Y/N. Seriously, if you ever want a new daddy, I will gladly help you out.”

“Why do I feel like you aren’t talking about Jieun? Don’t start that kinda talk around my baby, sir.”

“If sir is what you’re into, I can do that too,” He says with a wink. 

“Ha-ha, very funny. I’m going to let you spend a weekend with her then you can decide if you want to be her new dad.”

“Oh you’re on, Y/N. Hear that, Jieun-ah?” Johnny says, jumping lightly, Jieun’s body moving with him, a loud fit of giggles leaving her lips. “Johnny’s gonna get a chance to be your new papa.”

You flick him on the forehead and he laughs. “You’re ridiculous. C’mon, walk us home.”

“Mama, wake up,” Jieun says quietly, crawling into your bed and on top of you. She places a flurry of kisses on your face and it stirs you awake. “Mama, come on, Papa is gonna be here soon.”

You wrap your arms around her and let out a sigh before pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Who are you calling Papa? Johnny? Did he put you up to this?”

She nods quickly and lets out a giggle. “He said you would laugh.”

“You two are quite the comedians. Alright, go pick out some clothes and I’ll go make breakfast for you before Johnny gets here.”

Johnny isn’t your boyfriend, by any means, but he has stepped up and helped you with Jieun whenever you needed. And now she’s turning six in a few days, and Johnny has offered to take her for a weekend so you can have some time off. In the middle of cooking breakfast, you hear the keypad slide open and moments later, Johnny is walking through the door. He heads into the kitchen and pulls you into a side-hug, kissing you on the forehead and smiling.

“You know, she called you Papa this morning.”

He laughs. “Really? Holy shit, I didn’t think she would actually do it.”

“Dude, you can’t tell her to do that. She’ll get all confused and I don’t want to have that conversation with her.”

“Y/N, when will you finally give up and realize that we’re good for each other? And that I’m worthy of being her dad?”

You sigh. “Johnny—”

“— I’m serious! If you didn’t feel something for me, I would be dead by now. It’s been 5 years.”

“Good luck on your test run as Papa, Mr. Suh,” you say, plating the food for Jieun. “Go tell your daughter to come eat and then pack her bags.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“It’s mama to you, sir.”

The house is eerily quiet without Jieun and Johnny. Their infectious laughter normally fills the house along with the sound of toys clonking and falling, and you’re unsure of what to do to fill the time. What else is there to do with your life if you aren’t fawning over Johnny with your daughter? She might look like Jaehyun, but she’s all Johnny. She’s taken so much of his personality over the years that you barely see yourself in her some days. There’s a knock on the door and you’re quickly taken out of your thoughts — you head over to the door, saying a quick prayer that Johnny and Jieun are behind the door because they missed you, but when you open it, you’re met with Jaehyun.

“What are you doing here?”

“Okay, hello to you too?” He responds, walking past you and into the house. He takes his shoes off, walking into Jieun’s bedroom and walking out moments later, confused. “Where is she?”

“She’s with Johnny for the weekend.”

“Her birthday’s tomorrow, why is she with him?”

You can feel your blood boiling. In the last six years, Jaehyun hasn’t tried once to be a father to her and all of a sudden, he wants to try to be in her life. Having to be a mother, and watch another man have to step up to be her father, hurts beyond belief. You know you shouldn’t want Jaehyun to hurt too, but the words leave your mouth before you can stop yourself from saying them. “She insisted on spending her birthday weekend with her Papa.”

“P-papa? She thinks he’s her dad? You can’t be serious.”

“She knows he isn’t her dad. I promised to her before you even left that I would tell her the good things about you, and I did. I never told her to call him that, she did it on her own. If she feels like Johnny is her papa, what’s it to you?”

Your eyes begin to water and you turn to look anywhere else in the room except at Jaehyun and he lets out a shaky breath. He gets down on his knees in front of you, grabbing your hands and letting his head hang low.

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” he says. “I know I fucked up beyond belief, but we can’t live like this forever. I want a chance to be the father that I haven’t been for the last six years, to be that man for both you and Jieun.”

The tears stream freely down your face. “Jaehyun, get up.”

He gets up frantically, holding your face in his hands and forcing you to look at him. His face is red, tears staining his cheeks, and — call it a moment of weakness, but — his lips look so inviting. You feel like you’re in a trance, it’s been so long since you’ve even seen Jaehyun, especially this close up, and you’re immediately pulled into the time you had your first kiss. It was much too similar to this — you and Jaehyun standing in your living room, his hands on your face, his lips moving in a confession of love. His lips are moving, but you can’t hear any of what he’s saying, and before you know it, you’re leaning forward and pressing your lips onto his.

Neither of you waste any time — in an instant, Jaehyun’s hands travel down your body to the small of your back, and you bury your hands in his hair. His tongue peeks out of his mouth, licking at your lips and you open them for him. He places his hands on your thighs, and you instantly jump into his arms, wrapping your legs around his body. He walks towards your bedroom, his lips never leaving yours, and delicately places you on the bed. Jaehyun pulls away for a second, pulling his shirt over his head and you can feel your panties sticking to you the minute you see his bare torso. He reaches out to you, slipping your shirt over your head and throwing it onto the ground. 

You’re not wearing a bra underneath, and in an instant Jaehyun’s lips wrap around one of your nipples, his hand slipping into your leggings and rubbing at your clit through your panties. You let out a content sigh, hand reaching forward to grip his now fully hardened crotch through his pants. He groans, letting go of your nipple and pulling the other one into his mouth.

“Jaehyun, I can’t wait,” you whine. 

He pulls back and lets out a laugh. “Still as impatient as ever, I see.”

You roll your eyes, pushing your pants and underwear off, spread your legs, as Jaehyun steps onto the floor to quickly take his pants off. 

“Are you on birth control?” He asks.

You shake your head no. “I haven’t gotten back on it.”

“What if Johnny had—”

“What if Johnny had what? Gotten me pregnant? That wouldn’t have been any of your business,” you snap. His eyes widen slightly and you sigh. “There’s condoms in my top drawer.”

He opens the drawer, sees the loose condoms, opens one and rolls it onto himself before getting back on the bed. He pushes your legs open further, balancing his weight on his arms as his tip pokes at your entrance. He looks into your eyes for any sign of regret, and for a second he thinks he sees some, but you nod quickly and he enters in one swift thrust. You gasp as soon as he’s in, clenching around him a few times to get used to the feeling and he groans.

“You feel so good, baby,” Jaehyun says, and for a second it feels like nothing his changed. He still feels the same inside of you, he still looks the same, he’s talking to you just as he always has.

“Move, please.”

He nods and begins thrusting into you slowly, pulling all the way out and slamming back in. You wrap your arms around his neck and he drops his head in the crook of your neck, pressing kisses into your skin as his thrusts pick up speed. Your mouth hangs open, letting out low moans and he groans every time he feels you clench around him. The world around you begins to fade as you feel Jaehyun’s body pressed close to yours, and you close your eyes to memorize the feeling before it’s ripped away from you.

“Say my name,” he says, angling his hips to hit that secret spot inside of you.

“J-jaehyun.”

“My real name.”

He’s thrusting into you at an absolutely inhumane pace, balancing all of his weight on one arm as his other travels to where your bodies meet, fingers pressing into your clit and your hips come up off the bed, chasing your oncoming high.

“Yoonoh, please, I wanna cum.”

Jaehyun’s chest convulses, and you can tell he’s crying into your neck. Tears brim at your eyes, and you can’t tell if it’s from the pleasure you’re receiving or the feeling of Jaehyun’s hot tears hitting your skin.

“Tell me you love me, please,” Jaehyun says quietly. “Lie to me.”

Your hands dig into the sheets, gripping tightly as you’re on the edge of your orgasm. Jaehyun pinches your clit between your fingers and successfully pushes you over the edge. You cum around him, back arching off the bed, and letting out a quiet “Yoonoh, I love you.” At the feeling of you spasming around him, and you telling him you love him, even if it is a lie, Jaehyun finishes into the condom and drops his body on top of you.

Your arms are spread on the bed, not wanting to touch Jaehyun as the guilt begins to consume you. Johnny isn’t your boyfriend yet, but he’s the father to your daughter that Jaehyun never was, and you almost feel like you’ve just cheated on him.

“Hold me,” Jaehyun whispers into your chest.

“Get up, Jaehyun,” you respond, lightly pushing him off your body. He sits up, head hanging low, and you wince at the feeling of him slipping out of you. He slips the condom off, tying it and throwing it into the trash can in your bathroom. When he comes back out into your bedroom, you’ve already redressed.

“This was a mistake, you should go home.”

“Y/N, I was serious earlier. I want to be that man for both you and Jieun.”

“It’s too late now,” you respond, watching as he redresses. As soon as his last article of clothing is back on, you’re pushing him out of the bedroom and towards the front door. You push him out the front door, throwing his shoes out after him. “This never happened.”

“Y/N, can we just talk about this?”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Yoonoh. We have someone new in our life and he’s going to be the husband and father that you never were. Please don’t love me anymore, Jaehyun. It’ll kill you.”

[yungidreamer]

Fatherhood Seonghwa

There is a small chance I will do this with other members, but let’s see.

Summary: Seonghwa and his wife decide to try for kids, something they both have always wanted. The news they have a baby on the way is almost the happiest moment of his life, along with all the experiences to follow.

Wordcount: 5.8k

Content warnings: like 80% fluff, 20% smut. Very adoring relationship that follows them having a baby and the adventure that is. Pregnant sex, emotional sex, lots of sentimentality.

taglist: @latte-fairytaekwoon​ @ateez-angel​ @little-precious-baby​ @choisans-dimples​ @twancingyunhoe​

Music: To Build a Home by The Cinematic Orchestra and Cinnamon by Jome

They had started trying a few months ago and she had never expected to see the second line on the test so soon. Excitement and nerves flooded her as she looked at the little plastic stick. She had thought they would have a little more time, though she couldn’t think of what they would have needed it for. Seonghwa had been making plans since they first discussed trying. Plans for the babies room, plans for names, plans for clothes and accessories, and had even spent hours online already looking at strollers, cribs, toys, swings, and gliding rockers. Every day he came home with another plan or idea that had popped into his head during the day, a bright sparkle in his eyes as he told her all about it.

Part of her wanted to just snap a picture and send it to him right away, but she didn’t want to miss seeing his reaction. It was sure to be priceless, so instead she went to find a little box she could wrap up and give him as a surprise over dessert tonight. They needed to have something special, but she couldn’t let him know until the time was right.

“You ordered dinner for us tonight?” Hwa noted as he came in after work.

“I wanted to have my favorite meal tonight,” she answered, coming up to give him his hello kiss. “I was just hoping you wouldn’t be late today. The pancakes aren’t as good when you have to heat them up again.”

“You could have told me and I would have been sure to be home on time,” he scolded gently, his hand resting on her shoulder.

“It’s okay,” she shrugged. “If there was something important… I could have waited.”

“Next time tell me,” he insisted. “Then I can at least let you know if something has come up so you aren’t just waiting on me.”

“But I didn’t have to wait,” she pointed out.

“I just want to know, love,” he pressed a kiss to her temple before brushing past to change before dinner. “Go ahead and sit. I’ll be right there.”

She nodded and walked to the kitchen to check on the two little cakes in the fridge at the same time she got drinks for the both of them to go with dinner. Hopefully he wouldn’t come poking around in there. If he saw them, she thought he might start suspecting something was up.

Setting a plate and a drink for each of them on the coffee table, she wrapped herself in the throw on the couch and turned on a little something for them to watch while they ate. Seonghwa quickly returned, now dressed in a simple t-shirt and sweatpants, and cuddled in beside her, plate on his lap. She couldn’t keep her hand from pressing against her stomach now and again as she ate small bites of the kimchi pancakes tucked in against his side.

“Are you feeling alright?” He asked, having noted that she was pecking at her food more than eating it.

“Yes, just taking my time,” she shook her head, making a special effort to take a bigger bite.

“You aren’t dieting are you?” He turned to look at her, setting his plate to the side. “If we’re trying, now isn’t the time to be trying to lose weight, my love. Do you want to take a walk after dinner?”

“No, no, I mean, we can, but I’m not trying to be careful about eating,” with a sigh she set her own half finished plate down and started to get up. “I’m just nervous. Look I got us something special for after dinner and everything.” She pointed out as she headed to the kitchen to get the two little strawberry shortcakes… and the little ‘gift’ she had wrapped for him. Seonghwa stood up, following his wife into the kitchen to see what she was upto.

“Grab a couple of small plates for me?” She asked as she opened the refrigerator door.

“Little forks too?” The question was spoken over the slight clang of dishes hitting each other and then the counter.

“Yes please,” she agreed, carefully removing the box from the shelf. “Can you make a couple of coffees as well?”

“Of course,” he agreed, happily pulling a couple of mugs from the cabinet. Transferring the cakes to the little plates, she took them out to the coffee table, tucking the present in the folds of the blanket as she waited for him to come with the hot, coffee filled mugs.

Seonghwa emerged from the kitchen, a broad grin on his face as his eyes landed on the red and white dessert. He loved how loving and thoughtful she was, always happy to make a special effort...just because, and he loved it.

“Thank you, jagiya,” he kissed her cheek, holding the little plate in his lap. “I love strawberries.”

“I know,” she giggled, loving the tickle of his breath against her ear. “I wanted to talk to you about something, though.”

“Is it about trying?” He questioned, stiffening slightly in his seat, a flutter of nerves filling his stomach. “Are not ready? We can wait if you aren’t--”

“No, wait… are you not ready?” A quick jolt of worry when through her at how quick he was to talk about waiting.

“No, I just thought, maybe you weren’t,” he soothed. “And as much as I want to have a baby with you, I want us both to be really ready for it. It would be okay, if you weren’t yet. I can wait for you.”

“Well,” she cleared her throat, grasping the little box in her hand as she began. “You don’t have to wait.” Handing him the box, she bit her lip as she watched his hand take it, a little questioning look flitting across his face. Flipping it over, he carefully tore open the wrapping paper before lifting the lid off the box. It took him a second to recognise what lay on the puffy cotton lining but when it hit him, an expression of absolute delight came across his face. His jaw dropped and he pulled the test out, looking closely at the little window.

“Two lines mean baby?” He asked, letting the box drop to the floor.

“Yes,” she nodded with a bright smile.

“We did it?” He asked, his eyes flitting between her face and the test. Giving him a confirming nod, she took the test and put it on the table with their deserts. Emotions burst through Seonghwa like a flood. He didn’t think he had ever felt joy like that before in his life. Tears obscured his vision as he leaned forward to bring his lips to hers in a kiss of pure happiness. A thousand thoughts went through his mind in a jumble of questions and plans, hopes and dreams.

“There is so much I have to do,” he gave a watery chuckle, kissing her eyelids as he pulled her into his lap. “We need to paint the baby’s room soon so the paint isn’t too fresh when the baby comes home. And furniture. It will need somewhere to sleep, unless we are co-sleeping? Even if we are, the baby will still need a crib for naps. What about maternity clothes? Should we go shopping--”

“Aein, let’s just be excited for tonight,” she laughed sweetly. “We can plan tomorrow. For today, just kiss me?”

“Forever,” he promised, framing her face as he took her lips in a celebratory kiss.

“Hwa, can you loosen your grip a little,” she asked as she lay on the exam table for their first ultrasound.

“Sorry,” he gave her a chasened smile. “I’m just so excited. I want to meet our little bean. It doesn’t feel real yet even though I know it's in there.”

“I know,” she nodded, looking down toward her belly. “What if the test was wrong? What if it’s not there when they check?”

“It will be,” his voice was full of confidence as he smiled down at her. “And if it isn’t then we get to keep trying. I’ve enjoyed that part too.”

“Hush,” she snapped quickly, a blush rising on her cheeks. “What if the doctor came in?”

“Then they would know how madly in love with my wife I am.” He gave a shy smile and rubbed her hand between both of his, letting out just a little of his nervous energy. She just shook her head and let it fall back onto the paper covered pillow. In only a few more moments the door opened again and a neatly dressed middle-aged woman came in dressed in cheery yellow scrubs.

“Hello everyone,” she smiled down at them both, making her way over to the other side of the exam table. “This is your first visit with us, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Seonghwa said from beside his wife. “Will we be able to see much this time?”

“Well lets see,” the nurse gave him a patient look. “First thing I need is for you to lift your shirt and tuck this in to keep the gel from getting on it. And then we will undo your jeans a little and put this towel over your lap to keep those clean as well.” She nodded, taking her shirt up and tucking the towel in over it as the nurse lowered the waistband of her jeans and tucked a second towel in around her hips. “Very good. Let me grab the gel from the warmer and we can get a little on your tummy so we can see baby more clearly.” She turned and pulled a large bottle from a holder on the wall. Putting a generous blob onto the now bare tummy of the mother to be, the nurse picked up the sensor of the ultrasound and began her examination.

Seonghwa leaned forward, eyes glued to the screen filled with smudges of grays that went from almost black to almost white. He practically held his breath as he waited to see something, though he wasn’t sure what he was really looking for.

“There we are,” the nurse said, looking at the screen.

“There what is?”  He asked, seeing only a black blob on the screen.

“Right here,” she pointed at a small spot inside the black blob. “Do you see that little flutter? That is baby’s heartbeat.”

“That’s it?” He stood up to lean closer, as if getting nearer the screen would make it clearer.

“That’s it,” the nurse chuckled. “I know it is hard to see and it doesn’t quite look like a baby just yet, but it is there and the heartbeat looks good.”

“It’s okay? It’s really there?” She asked, eyes glued to the same place as her husband’s.

“Everything looks wonderful,” the nurse confirmed, handing a tissue to Seonghwa to wipe away the silent, happy tears that were rolling down his cheeks.

“Okay, do we want it to be cherry or black?” Seonghwa asked as he looked at the baby furniture set they had chosen on the website.

“I like the cherry better,” she replied, biting her bottom lip. “I know you like neutrals and all, but I want the baby’s space to have some color and warmth.”

“What about the wall color?” He turned to look at her directly, pulling her against him as he looked up into her face. “We don’t know if it's a boy or girl yet. Are we going to wait to know before we pick colors?”

“I was thinking… I don’t want to know,” she told him nervously. “I think I want it to be a surprise.”

“You don’t want to know?” His eyebrows raised in surprise. “What about baby clothes and toys?”

“Well there are plenty of clothes that work for both and I was thinking of a mint color for the walls of the room,” she looked at him, cupping his cheek as she looked into his questioning gaze.

“Okay,” he nodded. “Warm natural shades for our little whoever. What about a theme? Maybe make it like a secret garden? Plants and butterflies and flowers?”

“I like it,” she grinned. “Someplace relaxing and welcoming to take care of baby.”

“Good, cherry it is then,” he leaned his head against her chest, taking a moment to listen to the sweet sound of her heartbeat.

“Can we get some netting to put around the cradle?” She suggested. “We can put some flowers and stuff on it rather than a mobile.”

“I love the idea,” he giggled. “What about daisies and those little black and white butterflies? I could dangle some with fishing line so they look like they are floating?”

“Oh I love it,” she gave a happy sigh. “The room has so much light. Let’s hang crystals in the window, get rainbows sparkling on the walls.”

“Rainbows all over,” he chuckled. “And a little moon nightlight.”

“Thank you for indulging me,” she said gratefully.

“Indulging you? No, jagiya,” he beamed. “I love the idea of our baby growing up in a safe little garden surrounded by rainbows and butterflies.”

“Yeah?” She kissed the tip of his nose.

“A little garden for our little fae,” He nuzzled, lifting his lips to hers. “Our baby is going to be so beautiful, just like their mommy.”

“You mean like daddy,” she corrected with a chortle.

“No love,” he shook his head. “You always take my breath away, my love. If we have a baby that has your face, I would consider them to be so lucky.” Unable to think of something to say to that, she settled for pulling his face to hers, giving him a warm, sweet kiss.

“Did you know little Hyunjin is the size of a mango right now?” Hwa asked, not looking up from the book he was reading from beside her on the couch.

“A mango huh?” She asked, splaying a hand on her sweater covered bump. “Actually that sounds really good right now. I don’t suppose we have any, do we?”

“Mango? No but I can run to the store,” he let the book close and started to stand up.

“No, you don’t need to do that,” she waved at him to come back and sit with her on the couch again. “It’s just a whim. I’m not even that hungry at the moment.”

“But you are hungry,” he said, moving to go into the kitchen. “Fruit? I think we have some, let me see what we have,”

“No—” she started before giving up as he disappeared into the kitchen. “I don’t need to eat anything at this point. I already feel like a whale.”

“What was that, babe?” He asked, carrying a bowl stacked high with fruit.

“Nothing,” she sighed. “I’m just… not that hungry at the moment.”

“But our Hyunnie needs plenty of energy to grow big and strong,” he coaxed gently. “Grapes for my babies?” Seonghwa held a couple up near her mouth and made little om-nom-nom sounds at her.

“I don’t know that I want to eat,” she sighed tiredly. “I feel… gross.” She cringed at her own words.

“Gross?” He sat up ramrod straight and looked down at her slumped figure.

“You don’t have to say I’m pretty or something,” she huffed, slouching down into the couch even more. “I know it’s hormones and stuff but I don’t like feeling like I am huge and bumping out in all the wrong places.”

“Wrong places,” he sputtered, placing the bowl of fruit on the table.

“Forget I said anything,” she sighed, pulling herself into a sitting position. “Just hand me the fruit. I’ll eat.”

“Um-mmm, no love,” he shook his head, hooking a finger under her chin to bring her eyes up to his. “Don’t I tell you every day how pretty you are so sweet and round with our baby?”

“Yes, but you have to say that,” she shook her head and looked away.

“I have to because it’s true,” he assured her, pulling her to sit in his lap. “Every time I look at you my heart swells with gratitude and pride that you are carrying my baby. I look at you and I fall in love over and over. If I woke up tomorrow and didn’t know who I was, my heart would still know you, my love for you is so deep.”

“I know you love me,” she shrugged. “But I don’t think you find me pretty like you used to. I know I don’t.”

“You’re right,” he admitted, picking her up to carry her to their bedroom. “You’re even more beautiful to me now.”

“You don’t have to say that,” she shook her head as she clung tightly to his shoulders. “And you don’t have to carry me. I know I’ve gotten heavy.”

“Shush, you are light as a feather, my love,” he said as he stepped confidently through the hallway and into their room. Laying her on the soft duvet as close to the center of the bed as he could manage, he turned on the string of lights that wrapped around the top frame of the four poster bed, bathing them both in their soft, warm glow. “I’m an idiot to have let you feel like you are anything but a goddess like this.”

“Look at me,” she huffed and hid her face behind her hands. “My hips have gotten huge, I have all these stretch marks, my boobs don’t fit in my bra right, my thighs are bumpy, and look at how my arms even jiggle.”

“Your boobs have grown,” he agreed, giving a thumbs up and giving an approving wink and click of his tongue. “More to fill my hands.” Reaching out, he gently cupped them with his elegant fingers. “And the stretch marks, I’ll never be able to see them without feeling so much gratitude for how you got them. You’re like magic; growing a whole new person inside you.”

“It doesn’t make them any prettier,” she shook her head.

“They are pretty to me,” he soothed. “Let me look at you, my love. It’s been a little while hasn’t it? I’ve been so worried about not making you uncomfortable with my wants, I made you think I didn’t have them. Let me show you how much I still want you.”

“You don’t have to make a big show of it just because I feel ugly,” she gave him a half smile.

“It’s not a show,” he insisted, guiding one of her hands to come and rest on the erection confined in his slacks. “I want my beautiful wife. I want to hold her and feel her around me again. It’s been too long.”

“Not just to make me feel better?” She made him promise. “You really want me?”

“So fucking much,” Seonghwa stretched out beside her, turning her hopefilled face to him. Closing his eyes he pressed his lips to hers and took a moment to feel the brush of their softness against his own, feeling a sweet pang course though him. The soft whimpering sound she made when his hand slid down from her face to graze along the side of her neck undid him and he found himself groping clumsily to remove their clothes like he was a bumbling teenager all over again.

As quickly as he could manage, and with far less grace than he had hoped, Seonghwa pulled off both of their clothes, leaving them as physically naked as their emotions were. He had been holding back, trying to give her space and provide her with every comfort and meet her every need. The first few months nothing had changed almost to where he wasn’t sure the baby was still there until he touched her tummy or he saw the weary nausea the little creature caused her. But when that first pooch started to show he started being cautious. First, just being sure not to let his weight rest on her too heavily, then having her straddle him when they made love. Slowly he noticed how she moved differently and became shyer with letting him see her like that. He hadn’t pressed her, or asked her why, not wanting her to feel pressured by his wants when she had already given him so much.

He coaxed her to lay out on the duvet, open to his gaze, and sat up beside her on the bed. His eyes traveled the length of her from head to toes and back without hesitation, taking her in. She was so beautiful. It was obvious to him now, and he should have asked, that it hadn’t been discomfort or a lack of desire that had brought that reluctance from her. It had been shame in her beautiful body. She hadn’t wanted to be on display when they made love.

“I’m sorry I let you think even for a moment that you were anything less than beautiful,” he apologized gently.

“You didn’t,” she tried, but Hwa gently touched her lips.

“When you pulled away I didn’t ask,” he shook his head. “I forgot to tell you how beautiful you are. Something I should do every day. I won’t slip again.” He swore, lifting one of her arms so he could kiss the inside of her wrist. “Every day I’ll pick something about you and sing it’s praise until you understand the way I love and adore every inch of you.”

“You don’t have to,” she looked up at him, reaching to pull him close. “Just make love to me.”

“Hush,” he teased. “Let me do this right.” Reaching out, he spread a hand out over her stomach, gently rubbing the soft roundness there. “I think I want to start with this. This beautiful curve that says how much you love me. So much that you let me fill you with new life and are loving and nurturing it in a way I can’t for almost a year. It’s… such a gift. And when I look at you all round and full, all I can think is that I would do it a hundred times just to see how breathtaking you look filled with my baby.”

“You don’t find it… weird?” She asked, watching his hand move over her belly.

“Weird?” His brow furrowed.

“I mean aside from being fat,” she pulled herself up on her elbows and looked at her stomach like it was something foreign to her. “There’s someone in there. And I think they can already feel and hear what’s going on.”

“It is a little funny,” He admitted, curling up beside her so he could press his forehead to the bump. “Hello little Hyunjinnie. You should know how much I love your mommy. You are here because we wanted to have something so special together. I’m going to make love to her and you’re just going to have to close your ears for a little bit. Because she was my wife before she was your mom, so I have prior claim, okay?”

“Hwa,” she laughed.

“My child and I are coming to an understanding, okay?” He laughed, a joyful sound though his expression looked slightly pained as it was wont to do sometimes.

“I love you,” she laughed, a happy tear sparkling down her cheek.

“Now,” he said, moving to lay down on the bed and guiding her to roll onto her side so he could spoon her from behind. “Let me make love to the most beautiful woman on earth.” He slid one thigh between hers and pulled her flush against his body. Pressing a kiss to her shoulder, he let his hand wander, cupping her breast and stroking down the curve of the side of her belly until his fingers reached the apex of her thighs. He could feel her becoming damp and slid a teasing fingertip over the soft slit of her lips.

“Oh Hwa,” she breathed, arching against him.

“Tell me you want me,” he whispered into the shell of her ear.

“I need you like I need air right now,” she murmured, using her hand to guide his fingers to brush her pulsing clit.

“I left my girl alone for too long,” he cooed. “I let her go feeling unloved when I really wanted nothing more than to live buried inside her. To make our two bodies one.”

She moaned as he made circles around her sensitive nub.

“Please,” she begged breathlessly. “I want you inside me. I feel so empty without you.”

“Empty,” he teased, speeding up the movements of his fingers. “When I’ve left you so full?”

“It’s not the same,” she whined.

“I know,” he soothed, kissing her shoulder. “Come for me like this and I’ll fill you up with all of me.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, concentrating on the feel of his fingers and the warmth of his breath against the back of her neck. Her body fluttered and Hwa whispered praise for her beauty and her heart. She came apart in his arms, becoming a squirming mess as he held her against him. The sounds of her pleasure drove him wild. He had missed this, had missed the warmth of her body, the smell of her hair, and the sound of her going wild at his touch.

“I love you,” he whispered as she came down, holding her and nipping at her sweat salted skin.

“Hwa, you promised,” she whined, grinding back into his lap.

“I will,” he promised, pulling back enough to reach into the bedside drawer. Pulling out their old familiar bottle of lube, he got himself ready to enter her waiting body. “Are you ready for me?”

“I have been… so long,” she sighed, lifting one leg up to allow him access to her body.

“Angel,” he murmured, pulling her close and lining up his body with hers. “You are so beautiful. You are my everything. Thank you for giving me the gift of your love and this.” His palm caressed her bump as he pushed inside her. “Everything you bring to my life is a gift.”

“Oh Hwa,” she groaned, twining her fingers with his as he held her flush against him. He whispered words of love as he slid himself in and out of her body enjoying the sensation of her surrounding him, something he had been too long without. She was his haven and his comfort and the closeness made his heart swell in his chest. He could feel the prickle tears tickling the back of his eyes as emotion rolled through him like stormy waves.

His orgasm hit him with the intensity he hadn’t felt since their wedding night, that first time when he was with her when she was really his. It wasn’t their first time, but it was the first time they belonged to each other.  It had meant everything to him and for a moment he had worried she would judge him for letting the rush of sentimentality overwhelm him as he collapsed onto her. Instead she had offered him love and comfort, entwining her limbs with his until he couldn’t tell where one of them ended and the other began. He had laughed and cried and held her until the light of dawn had shown through the window of their hotel room. Only then had they let exhaustion pull them under. He would never forget the shine of her skin in the milky light of dawn. That perfect moment had not been matched until this one as they lay together, spooning and sticky in the candle like glow of the string of lights.

“My everything,” he panted, pressing a kiss to the back of her head and balling their fists together as he kept himself buried inside her as he slowly went soft.

“Love you,” she slurred sleepily, letting her eyes close.

“Do you need help changing babe?” Seonghwa asked from the opposite side of the dressing screen.

“No, I don’t think so,” she sighed, fidgeting with the gauzy sleeve of the maternity dress. She stepped out from behind it, feeling a little self conscious with her belly out on full view.

“You look beautiful,” he beamed at her, leaning down to give the baby a kiss before leaning in to press a second to her lips. “Ready for some pictures?”

“Yeah,” she sighed, waddling forward. “I’m just not sure about the bare belly thing.”

“You look incredible,” he assured her. “But we can make some adjustments if you want to cover up a little more.”

“No, its okay,” she put a hand on her lower back as a little dull pain flared there. “But I’m warning you. We are having some little alien moments with Hyunjin on the move.”

“Hmmm?” He asked, his eyes locking on her belly as he walked beside her.

“Here,” she turned so he could see the other side and paused, giving the lower part a little pat. After a second the tiny outline of a hand pressed back.

“Well, hello there baby,” he cooed excitedly, brushing a hand over the little bump.

“I think we are doing some somersaults getting ready to come out,” her voice was a little breathless and strained. Seonghwa straightened up and moved to support her as they walked over to the place that was all set up for their pictures.

The photographer took a few candid pictures as the couple moved around to get comfortable. They were one of the most precious couples he had had the honor of photographing. Seonghwa was clearly smitten for his wife and their unborn child and his wife glowed when she looked at him. They were that sort of forever couple, he had decided moments after meeting them. Death was going to be the only thing that pulled them apart, and with any luck, that would be decades and decades in the future.

“Oh god,” she whimpered, holding onto the bar as she knelt on the bed in the delivery room, another contraction squeezing her.

“You’re so brave, baby,” he praised. “You’re doing so well. Just a little longer now.”

“Hwa it hurts,” she wept, her face contorting as the pain peaked again.

“I know,” he gave her his best watery, brave smile. “But you’re doing such a great job. I promise I will change every diaper the first month if you just keep pushing.”

“I’m trying,” she ground out between hiccoughs of pain.

“You are and you’re doing so well,” he cupped her cheeks as the nurse reached between her legs to catch the baby as it emerged. She let out a sharp cry just before the shoulders finally came out, allowing the baby to soon come out with just a couple more pushes.

Hwa looked down at his sleeping wife, holding little Hyunjin in his arms.

“She worked 36 hours to bring you into this world, you know,” he murmured to the baby as it slept against his bare chest. “We should both try to be very, very nice to her, okay?”

Hyunjin fussed slightly and Seonghwa bounced them gently to lull them back to sleep. Another hour of sleep for her he hoped. The baby would need to nurse but she needed a rest. She looked so small in the bed, slightly pale and exhausted. Understandable, he thought to himself, after pushing out a person today.

“I’m coming,” she murmured quietly, padding down the hall to the baby’s room. Seonghwa was still asleep in their bed, but if he heard the baby fussing, he would be up in a flash, either offering to bring the baby to her for a feeding or trying to heat up a bottle she had pumped over the last couple of days.

She suspected Hyunjin wasn’t really hungry, just thirsty and a little cranky. A few minutes of nursing and rocking would probably be enough. Picking them up, she took a seat in the quiet gliding rocker and opened the front of her night gown. Pulling out her breast, she rubbed the nipple on Hyunjin’s tiny pink lips, coaxing them to latch on. The baby eagerly opened and locked onto her nipple with happy little coos as the cuddled into the warmth and comfort of her body.

“That’s my baby,” she cooed, closing her eyes as she held the happily suckling baby in her arms that rested safely on the nursing pillow in her lap. The sucks of Hyunjins mouth became less frequent and their breaths grew longer until they happily fell asleep still half nursing from mom as she succumbed to sleep herself.

That was how Seonghwa found them when he woke up to an empty bed a little while after. Carefully taking the baby from his wife’s limp arms, he tucked them into their crib before he knelt down to close her nightgown for her. He knew he probably couldn’t get her back to bed without waking her up, but he was going to try anyway. Gently taking away the nursing pillow, he set it in its place beside the crib before carefully working his arm under her armpits and knees, lifting her into his arms so he could carry her down the hall. She stirred in her sleep, cuddling into him and saying his name softly. He shushed her as he tucked her in under the covers, pulling them high up until they were tucked in up to her chin.

Placing a quick kiss on her forehead he quietly made his way out of the room again to sit for a little bit with the other most precious person in his life. Hyunjin was still happily sleeping so Hwa took a seat in the rocker, determined to spend just a little time keeping watch over them as they slept. But as a new, sleep deprived parent himself as well, he soon found himself nodding off as the rocker moved smoothly under him.

“Hyunjin, are you ready to go to school?” Hwa asked, kneeling down to straighten their jacket and fix the couple of buttons they had put in the wrong holes.

“Yes, daddy,” They grinned happily, picking up their big yellow backpack.

“Good,” he grinned, kissing their forehead and looking at them with all the pride and love that was bursting in his heart. He always saw his wife looking at him from behind those little sparkling eyes. “I’m glad you’re letting me walk you on your first day. I know mommy would have been happy to do it too, but I really wanted to take you.”

“I know daddy,” they nodded, taking his hand as they made their way out the front door. “It’s all you have been talking about this week.”

“You are doing this so I stop, aren’t you?” He laughed, his eyes pinching in that same almost pained look as he looked down at them with pure affection.

“No daddy,” Hyunjin shook their head and looked up at him earnestly. “I wanted to walk with you too. Then you can be the last person to give me a hug before my big day when I become a big kid.”

“Oh of course,” He nodded seriously, walking at the pace set by the little person who would always be his baby, no matter how old they got. “My baby is growing up so fast.”

Masterlist

If you got this far, feel free to send me an ask if you have a preference for the next member. If not, if I decide to continue, I might do it in age order.

[kalimagik]

Strawberry

Fred Weasley x Pregnant!Reader

Word Count: 5k

Requested by @coffee-wihtout-caffeine​ - “Can I request Fred x reader where it’s throughout her pregnancy with supportive Weasley family? Like the entire pregnancy just bits through each month and dealing with the symptoms. Tia”

A/N: I had SO much fun writing this. I was so excited the whole time (i love babies and think pregnancy is beautiful, so I may have gotten carried away). It’s super fluffy, has something for each month, and a whole lot of cute Fred and a supportive Weasley family! It’s not my usual writing style, but still so fun. Feedback is always welcome! Comment, like, reblog! Happy Reading <3 (also, I got too excited to wait til tonight to post it, so its coming early)

Month 1

It had to be the stomach flu, what else could it be? Fred left you in bed that morning after you spent most of the night with your head over the toilet. You racked your mind, trying to figure out where you would have caught the stomach flu. That’s when it hit you. Running to the nearest convenience store, you bought the tests, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.

You looked at the pregnancy test again and the other 3 that sat on the vanity, all positive. No, you and Fred weren’t trying for a baby, but you weren’t not trying either. A baby…you were going to have a baby, Fred’s baby.

The butterflies in your stomach were going to have a roommate. The thought made your lips curl into a grin as you looked into the mirror. A baby! Now you just had to tell Fred. Knowing you had a few hours, you rushed around the house like a mad woman. The rest of the day consisted of picking up, making dinner, and making yourself look presentable and not like you had spent most of the day in bed. The day also included throwing up every now and then, but you were actually kind of excited each time because it was just a reminder of the little boy or girl growing in your stomach.

When Fred walked through the door, you had your favorite “Love Songs” playlist playing, the dinner table set, and candles lit throughout the entire flat. “Is someone feeling better?” Fred called out above the music.

“Freddie! I’m in here,” you sang, still cleaning up pots and pans from dinner.

“What is all of this?” Fred asked, eyes widening at the sight laid out in front of him. “Did I forget an anniversary or something?” he chuckled, knowing very well that he didn’t. “This is wonderful, love. But, what did I do to deserve this?”

“Just sit down and you’ll find out!” You beamed, bringing Fred’s favorite food to the table, his mother’s meatballs with onion sauce with a treacle tart and cream puffs on the side for dessert.

“24 hour stomach flu pass?”

“Uhhh, for the most part,” you skirted around the subject a bit. You had a plan to tell him about the baby.

Dinner went by with your usual conversations about the day, the shop, and how George and the rest of the Weasleys were doing. When tart had been dished out, you stood up from your seat and went behind the couch to get your little gift.

“Okay, what is going on?” Fred asked, now confused as to why he got his favorite dinner, dessert, and now a present. “Did you do something I should be angry about? Did someone else do something that I should be taking credit for?”

“No, silly,” you giggle, sitting the present in front of him. “Just open this!” You watch him intently while standing as he takes the tissue paper out of the bag and unwraps the first little gift. The white tissue paper fell to the floor as he unfolded a little white onesie that read “I solemnly swear I am up to no good.”

“What’s this for? I’m not going to be an uncle or something am I? Is George around here trying to punk me?”

You just shook your head, an amused, close lipped smile set on your face. “Open the next one.”

Fred stuck his hand back into the small, blue bag and pulled out the long box that had probably once held a bracelet. When he pulled the lid off, there was the 4th and final positive pregnancy test that you had taken earlier in the day. Fred looked up at you, eyes wide. The hand not holding the box with the test reached for the onesie as he put two and two together.

“Are you- Is this? Does this mean-” You just nodded as he stumbled over his words.

“I’m pregnant,” you told him with a laugh/cry. Honestly, you weren’t sure what the noise was, but it was a happy one. Fred flew out of his seat so quickly to embrace you that his chair fell to the floor with a loud clatter.

“You’re pregnant?” he asked again once he finally let you go and stopped kissing your face. You could only nod as the happy tears streamed down your face. “Oh, I guess I shouldn’t hug you so hard. Wouldn’t want to hurt the little lad or gal would I?”

“I think the little Weasley will be okay,” you smirk, hugging Fred a little tighter.

“So when can I tell George?”

You laugh as you kiss Fred’s cheek. “Not just yet, darling. Let’s see a doctor first”

Month 2

“So I can tell Georgie right after this right?” Fred asked as you sat in a room at St. Mungo’s waiting for the doctor.

“I enjoy you pretending to wait for my permission when I know you already told him,” you laugh, squeezing Fred’s hand while he helps you onto the chair for the mothers to be. “He was not very subtle when I came by the shop the other day. He was talking about inventing baby friendly products for the shop.” You rolled your eyes sarcastically at the memory.

“Okay, I may have apparated to our little flat above the shop where he was at the time after you fell asleep the night that you told me.” He pouted, looking for forgiveness from you.

You had to stifle your giggles when the doctor knocked on the door to let you know that she was entering.

“Good afternoon Y/N,” she smiled at you as she pulled out the contraption for looking at the baby’s growing form. “I see you have Fred Weasley with you again.”

The last appointment, he may or may not have dropped a dung bomb that made its way into his jacket pocket accidentally on their way out.

“Hello there, Dr. Woodson,” Fred grimaced. “Good to see you again. Don’t worry, I double checked my pockets before coming this time.”

“Very good,” your doctor nodded curtly. “Well then, let’s get started, shall we?”

Your doctor talked you through the images that you and Fred saw on the screen. “Your baby is now about the size of a pomegranate seed since you’re in the 6th week,” she finished. You sat and watched in awe. The baby was so much bigger than just a few weeks ago when you were in for the first visit that confirmed your pregnancy. “Do you have any questions for me?” Dr. Woodson asked at the end of the appointment.

You shook your head, already having read all about it in the pregnancy books you had bought a few weeks earlier. Fred was the one to pipe up. “So, my brother’s wife was pregnant a year ago or so, and she got really, really cranky. Is my wife going to do that too?”

“Fred?!” you scoffed, playfully slapping him in the arm.

“You see, it’s already starting a little bit and I was just wondering how bad it will actually get.” He continued ignoring you.

Your doctor chuckled slightly before she stood up with your charts in hand. “It was good to see you both again. Y/N, you can schedule your next appointment at the front desk on your way out. Send me an owl if you have any questions or concerns.”

After saying goodbye, Fred helped you off the chair, even though he didn’t have to, and you dressed back into your clothes that were not yet maternity wear, but starting to get a little snug in some areas.

“All ready, love?” he asked after you dressed.

“Let’s go.”

Month 3

“Are you ready?” Fred asked as you stood at the door of his childhood home. He was grinning from ear to ear. Today was the day that the two of you had decided to tell his family about the baby. You told your parents a few days earlier and they couldn’t be happier, but that was two people. Now it was time to face Fred’s parents, six siblings, and all of their significant others.

“Very ready,” you smiled back. Fred had been sitting on the edge of his seat for nearly a month whenever you visited. It was the end of your third month and therefore an appropriate time to start telling the family.

“Mum! We’re here!” Fred called out as he opened the door.

“OHHH! Y/N, Fred! Welcome. I’m so happy you both could make it!”

“We always come for Sunday night dinner, Mrs. Weasley,” you laughed while being buried into one of her notorious bear hugs.

“Woah there, mum. Don’t want to crush Y/N and our-” Fred cut himself off before he let the word ‘baby’ slip. Luckily, Molly was a blur around the house that she hadn’t even noticed. After giving Fred a quick hug, she called up to the rest of the family and feet began stampeding down the stairs.

“Wow, it is getting a little crowded in here,” you laughed as you hugged Ginny, Hermione, George, Ron, Harry and then Bill, Charlie, Fleur and little Victoire. “Even Teddy is here!” you smiled as you hugged the 3 year old with bright blue hair.

“The more the merrier is our motto!” Arthur Weasley boomed as he came into the kitchen as well.

“It’s a good thing that you think that way, dad!” Fred beamed, sharing a quick glance with George. At this rate, the family was going to learn the news before everyone even sat down for dinner.

Pre-dinner chats ensued and then Mrs. Weasley called them all from the living room to the table. That’s when she started handing out the wine. She had decided it was a special occasion because EVERYONE was at dinner. Bill and Fleur were in France the previous week and Charlie was back from Romania for a period of time. Even Percy managed to pull himself away from his busy work life. You looked at Fred with a small, close lipped smile, letting him know that it’s time to spill the news. Everyone would find out soon enough when you refused the wine.

You took your seat next to Fred with Ginny on your other side, leaning into Fred as he wrapped his arm around you and kissed your temple. Then, he cleared his throat to get the 12 other people’s attention.

“I’d like to make a toast,” he announced, raising his glass. “I can’t imagine this night being any better. Spending time with my amazing family, the extensions included,” he nodded to Harry, Hermione, and Fleur. “It’s a big family, but it’s about to get a little bigger. Currently a plum size bigger.” You nudged Fred slightly. He had been making fun of you for announcing which food your baby’s size matched each week.

“Oi, cut to the chase down there. I can’t hold it in for much longer! I’m bursting at the seams over here!” George hollered from the other end of the table.

Your smile grew as you made eye contact with Molly. You could tell she already knew what Fred was going to say, but was letting him break the news.

“Y/N and I are pregnant!” Fred’s signature grin was plastered on his face and you didn’t think that he’d been wiping it off anytime soon.

“This is brilliant!” Ginny cheered as she wrapped an arm around you. “I get to be an aunt, again!” she smiled at Victoire.

“Victoire,” Fleur got the little girl’s attention. “Yoo are going to be a couzin to a ittle boy or girl. Eesn’t zis exciting?”

“Ronald and I can babysit whenever you need a break,” Hermione offered, Ron nodding along, even though he wasn’t too sure if he wanted to be with a baby around his fiancé just yet.

The congratulations and excitement lasted all through dinner. By the end, Bill and Fleur offered you Victoire’s baby clothes if you had a girl, Arthur said he could fix up the cradle they used for all their children, Molly had already started knitting a little hat and bootie set. It was crazy and chaotic, but you loved every second of it. This was your wild family now and the wild family that your baby would get to grow up with.

Month 4

You paced around your flat with a hand on your forehead and one on your stomach. You had just gotten back from your appointment, the high of telling the Weasley family about the pregnancy two nights ago still lingering. Of course, once you went to see Dr. Woodson, the feeling changed.

-

“Oh, that’s interesting,” Dr. Woodson had said as she ran her wand over your stomach to look at the baby.

“What?” you asked. She’d never said anything like that before.

“It seems we may have missed something.” She pulled an image up. “Normally we would catch this earlier, but see that there.” She pointed and you nodded. “Well, there appears to be a second fetus and a second heartbeat that I must have missed before. Y/N Weasley, you are having twins!”

-

Laying down on the couch, you thought about what having twins would mean. Two of everything really. Fred and George’s shop was doing great again and they were acquiring Zonko’s in Hogsmeade too, so money wouldn’t technically be an issue. But, twins! They could be a little Fred and George exactly and that would be a handful. The doctor never said that they were identical necessarily, so you could have a boy and a girl.

“Honey! I’m hoooome!” Fred sang opening the door.

“With your favorite brother-in-law!” George sang after him.

Both twins sat grocery bags on the table. “What’s all this?” you asked, mind still focused on the news you got earlier in the day.

“We have decided to cook you dinner!” George said triumphantly.

You looked at the identical faces that stood before you, both grinning at you. “Fred, we’re having twins!” you blurted out at them, not able to hold it in any longer. Fred dropped the bag he was still holding, apples and oranges rolling all over the floor.

“Twins.” He said, eyes glazed over, looking past you and at the wall, where the onesie that you gave him the day you told him you were pregnant was hanging.

“You’re going to have a mini Fred and I?!” George squealed in excitement. He shook Fred’s shoulders, bringing him back to the present.

“That we are!” you smiled, appreciating the enthusiasm. “Well maybe, we could have girls, or a girl and a boy. We won’t know until the end of next month,” you explained, rambling.

That’s when Fred went into total care mode. “Do you need to sit down? You should be sitting down. Mum always complained about what Georgie and I did to her body and how hard carrying twins was.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at him. “Freddie,” you giggled, “maybe YOU should sit down!”

“Yes, perhaps I shall, love.” Fred plopped down onto the couch as you went into the kitchen to grab him a cup of water. “Twins, wow.” You heard him breathe out in the living room.

“He is happy about it, just processing,” George whispered to you as he started to put your groceries away.

“I know,” you smiled, “he is going to make a great dad!”

Month 5

Your stomach was really bulging at this point. Two little ones growing in there. You were beyond excited as you slid on a maternity dress with sunflowers plastered all over it. It had become your favorite dress, comfortable, stretchy, it had pockets. But, today, you put it on for your gender reveal party. Originally, you and Fred were going to wait and be surprised by the sex of the babies, but Molly and even George changed your minds.

They agreed that once they received the news, Dr. Woodson would write the genders on pieces of paper, seal them in an envelope, and send them with an owl to Molly. Now, you were getting ready for that party. You were more going along with Fred when you originally said you’d wait to find out the sexes, but now you were giddy!

“Love, are you ready? Everyone is downstairs,” Fred knocked on his childhood door as he opened to take in the room that hadn’t changed in years. You followed Fred down the stairs, him holding your hand the whole way to ensure that you didn’t trip down the stairs. He may be loud, boisterous, and reckless usually, but since he learned about the twins, he treated you as if you were a china doll, it was so sweet.

“Surprise!” a hoard of people called when you exited the Burrow. The Weasleys had completely decked out their yard on the spring evening. Twinkle lights flooded the area with light as the sun set to the west. Luna Lovegood and Neville Longbottom had brought in tons of flowers that surrounded the tables. All the pinks and blues were bright as can be, signifying the news that was about to be shared with everyone, even the parents.

“Merlin! It’s beautiful! Thank you,” you beamed, taking in as much of the yard at once as possible.

The party was a blast. Blue and pink food. Cute little presents left out with yellows and greens. Tons of little Gryffindor attire, even though you’d be okay with your children being in any of the houses. But the time for the reveal drew closer.

“Y/N, Fred. Stand here,” Molly ordered them. “George is out back setting everything up.”

You were shaking with excitement. Your family and Fred’s family all held sparklers that lit the darkness. The colors reflected off of your and Fred’s skin. He glanced over at you and whispered, “You’ve been glowing this whole time, but you’re really glowing now,” before leaning down and kissing your cheek.

“Everyone ready?” George called from behind the hedge. “3…2…1!”

The sky exploded with fireworks of blue and pink. Your hand flew to your mouth as you took in the sight. “We’re getting a little boy AND a little girl, Freddie,” you laughed, happy to now know. Fred hugged you tightly, leaving just enough room for your protruding belly.

“We’re having a boy and a girl,” he repeated, grinning ear to ear. Everyone let the two of you have your moment before flooding you with hugs and congratulations.

Month 6

“Psssst, Freddie.” You whispered, peaking at the clock quickly. It read 1:30 AM…oops.

“Yes, love,” Fred whispered as he yawned before turning over and lazily slinging an arm over your body.

“I’m hungry…” you said, big, pouty, pleading eyes already in place as Fred opened one of his. “Will you pleeeeease get me some chocolate covered strawberries and the cheesiest nachos you can find?”

“That is the strangest combination that I have ever heard.” Fred grunted as he pushed the blankets down. “You sure you can eat both of those things?”

So far, you had found that you could no longer even look at any kind of fish, tuna was WAY out of the question, the smell of tomatoes made you gag, and turkey was a big no go. In fact, most meat was starting to make you queasy and you could only eat it sometimes.

“It’s what I’m craving, so I think so?”

“Sounds good, love. I’ll be right back.” Fred threw on some pants and a jacket and apparated out of the flat. You laid back in your bed, feeling extremely content as you pulled the blankets up to your chin just to throw them off. You’d been going from freezing to feeling like a million degrees every few minutes.

That familiar pop could be heard as Fred brought the food to you in bed. “Nachos and chocolate covered strawberries for my beautiful, glowing wife. We can never go back to the Spanish restaurant on the corner or the market next to it ever again. You don’t want to know how angry the owners were when I woke them up.”

You had already dug into the food before Fred could undress and get back into bed again. “Are you going to save me any?” he chuckled, sliding back into the sheets.

“Yes, you can have some.” You told him, mouth full and chocolate dribbling down your chin.

“Let me run to the loo before I go to bed again,” Fred told you, getting up once more. By the time he walked back into the room, you were there fast asleep, box of chocolate covered strawberries on one side and box of nachos on the other. Fred couldn’t stop laughing as he picked up the open food and wiped off your face before kissing your forehead and pulling you close to him.

Month 7

“FRED!! It’s so hot!” you complained. You could feel the sweat sliding down every inch of your body and you felt disgusting. You felt huge and being pregnant was not fun anymore. You were big, couldn’t move easily, and your ankles had swollen to three times their normal size.

In the July heat, you just felt terrible.

“Let me get you another fan and some lemonade.” Fred offered.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so cranky with you,” you apologized to Fred when he came to sit back down next to you, handing you a glass of lemonade.

“You have every right to be cranky with me,” he smiled, kissing the side of your head as he had been doing so often now. “You’re carrying my babies. Speaking of which, we should come up with some names. It could be fun!”

You took a deep breath, trying to relax on the couch. “Yes, let’s do that!” Fred had already begun preparing the nursery and Molly and Fleur had sent over hordes of clothes. Planning was tiring you out, as fun and cute as it was, so maybe brainstorming names would be a blast.

“Now, George thinks we should name at least one of them after him. If we did that, we should name the girl Georgia because I think George would throw a fit if the girl was actually named after him. And then the boy could be Fred Jr.”

You looked dead eyed at Fred, not thinking his ‘joke’ was funny. “We are not making, no excuse me, forcing our twins to be mini-yous. Nope, not happening. Veto, next.”

“Okay, geez,” Fred chuckled as he took your hand in his own, knowing you would complain about being hot if he put his arm fully around you.

“Mhmmmm,” you thought out loud. “What about Andrew for the boy. You know, for my brother? I’d like to honor him after losing him 2 years ago in the war.”

“I think that would be nice,” Fred smiled softly at you. “Andrew it is. Andrew Weasley has a good ring to it. We can call him Drew for short too.”

“I think so too,” you agreed.

“Now, for a girl, this is a serious suggestion,” Fred prepared you. “Olivia. I’ve always liked that name.” he played with your fingers.

“Andrew and Olivia Weasley. I think it could work. That was much easier than I thought it was!” You laughed with joy.

“Fred, Y/N, Andrew, and Olivia. Our little family. You like your new names, kids?” Fred spoke to your stomach.

Month 8

“Nope, do not get out of bed!” Fred ordered after you tried to get out of bed. “Doctor’s orders. Plus, Mum is already here.”

Molly Weasley had been coming to your flat nearly every other day to help you and Fred around the house. Dr. Woodson placed you on bed rest the previous week and it was complete AGONY.

“But, Freddie, there is so much we still have to do. I can help.”

“Nope, George and I have it covered. Plus you know the rest of the family will help with whatever we need. You just sit here and rest. Liv and Drew are still growing in there.”

“Yes they are,” you giggled, rubbing your stomach. “I swear they were wrestling in there last night! They were being so active! Kicking and moving around. If these two fight during their entire childhoods, we will be in for some rough years!”

“I bet they will be best friends,” Fred smiled. “Look at Georgie and I! And, if they have any younger siblings in the future, they can team up against them.”

“I should hope not!” you scoffed. Your banter settled as Molly hurried into the room with a breakfast tray.

“Mum will take good care of you today and Ginny mentioned stopping by later, okay?” Fred told you as he kissed you goodbye. “I won’t be too late tonight. Everyone on Diagon Alley seems to know that you’re expecting, so even though business is booming, the shop is ready to be closed at closing!

“Sounds good, dear.” You replied, pushing the eggs to the side. You forgot to tell Molly that you weren’t eating those now because of the babies.

“I’ll take those for you,” Fred chuckled, eating your eggs, sipping some water, and kissing you one more time before leaving. “Have a good day!”

“Bye, hun,” you giggled again as she left. At least you had the company of all the Weasley guests throughout the days when he was gone.

Month 9

“They’re due any day, Freddie!” You squealed. You had attempted to jump a little, but that just made you have to pee, so you stopped that immediately. “When they get here, we can hold them all the time and I’ll be able to move freely!”

You had secretly begun doing the things that you hoped would speed along the delivery date. You were eating spicy foods, walking around when no one was watching you and forcing you back to bed, drinking raspberry tea, everything! Well, not everything. You had try to convince Fred to have sex with you the night before, but he refused. Said it was weird with two babies in there, even though you looked beautiful and he would love to.

You had just rolled your eyes at him in response, but you did try!

“You going to come out soon, little ones?” You asked your stomach. “At least one perk of being so large is that I can sit the box of chocolate covered strawberries on my stomach.” You hummed happily, eating another one of the treats that had been your favorites during your pregnancy.

You had eaten them so many times that Molly just started making them regularly for you so that Fred didn’t have to go buy them at all hours of the day randomly.

“Can I come to Diagon Alley with you today?” you asked hopefully. “I need to get out of this house. Everything is ready and I’ve been cooped up for too long.”

Fred stood there thinking, but you pleaded some more, getting him to finally give in. “Only if you promise to not walk around too much.”

“I promise! I’ll sit at Florean’s the whole time!” You drew and X over your heart to seal the promise.

You breathed in the air deeply as you took in the atmosphere of the Alley. The newer owners of the ice cream shop brought you more ice cream each time that you asked for some and whenever you tried to pay, they refused. Yet another perk of being pregnant.

Numerous people had walked by and chatted with you while Fred was at the shop and he came by every so often to check on you. It was a pleasant day. That was until an excruciating pain occurred in your stomach.

“Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,” you whined, hands immediately holding your stomach. “Excuse me,” you pulled one of the waiters aside. “Would you run down to the joke shop and get my husband, please?”

The trip to St. Mungo’s was a blur. Fred was holding your hand the entire way, helping you into your hospital gown, and just being an overall sweetheart as per usual. Molly Weasley and your mum filtered in and out of the room. It wasn’t until Dr. Woodson announced that just those going into the delivery room could stay that the chaos slowed. Even if it was just you and Fred in the room, you knew that every single Weasley and Y/L/N was in the waiting room and would be until your two children entered the world.

Four hours later, you had finished pushing, you had finished working your body to exhaustion. Four hours later, you held two little babies in your arms and they were beautiful. Fred’s smile was so wide and he was so proud as he took Andrew from you and then Olivia.

“You did beautifully, darling,” he whispered, looking at the two children in his arms. The tears were still streaming down your face, stupid post-birth hormones. “Are you ready for the family? They’ll come back in small groups.” You nodded laying your head back on the pillows. It was September 8th. The day your little family had its first addition of many.

You could see the little heads of Olivia and Drew peaking over the blankets as different family members held them. Their hair was strawberry red, just like your favorite snack.

[justanotherblonde23]

An Unexpected Surprise - A Marcus Moreno Story

Author’s Note: So with some encouraging from my friends, I decided to post my writing! I know that technically we don’t know anything about Marcus Moreno, but that superhero dad has been taking up space in my mind rent free all week. I tagged people that I know wanted to read this and a few that I thought might enjoy it. Please let me know what you think! -Kat 

Content Warnings: smut, oral (female receiving), P in V

Tags: @autumnleaves1991-blog @dindjarindiaries @frannyzooey @zeldasayer @hdlynnslibrary @jollyrancher87 @bisexual-space-slut @woakiees @scribbledghost @softpedropascal @catfishingmorales

Marcus trudged into the house, it was at least 2 in the morning, and he was absolutely exhausted. He was always exhausted these days; his age was catching up to him. He may be a part of the Heroics, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t getting older. He was balancing heroism, kids, a spouse, and trying to give them some semblance of a normal life. He was ready to retire, be involved in every aspect of the kids’ lives, and see his wife in more than just the middle of the night and before leaving for work. He had given enough of his life to the service of the world; now, it was about time to provide all of himself to his family. Missy, his eldest, was already 11 and getting older every single day. Jules, the baby of the family, was about to turn 5, just about to leave the toddler years behind her. He felt as if he had missed so much of their lives; he didn’t want to miss anymore. 

Most of the house lights had been turned off, signaling that most of the inhabitants were fast asleep. He hoped that at least he could get a kiss or two from the woman he loved. Maybe she would still be awake. He made his way up the stairs, checking the kids’ rooms. He planted soft kisses on their foreheads, smiling at their serene expressions. What beautiful little girls he had, he was the luckiest father in the world. 

He frowned, opening the door to the master bedroom; the soft glow of artificial light bathed the room in a yellow haze. There she was, his love, sitting in the middle of the bed, clearly wide awake, wearing her glasses and frowning at the hologram in front of her. Someone was working even later than Marcus himself. He took in her form; she still hadn’t noticed him quite yet. She was wearing a silky nightie that hit her upper thigh and a matching robe loosely tied around her. His cock stirred in his pants. Even as spent as he was from the day, the view in front of him made him want to take her to bed and fuck her senseless. 

“Dr. Moreno, hard at work, I see,” he teased. 

Her eyes shot up, smirking at him. I’m not quite Dr. Moreno yet, Marcus. You’d have to marry me first,” she teased. 

“We had a ceremony-” he started.

“And someone still hasn’t mailed the marriage certificate, even though it’s been two months. All you gotta do is bring it to the post office, baby. I’d do it myself, but somebody insisted that he’d be the one to do it.” 

Marcus groaned, falling onto the bed beside his wife (that’s what she was to him, even if he didn’t mail the marriage certificate yet). He heard some shuffling and a command for her AI system to file the holograms working on for the night. He’d lived with her for four years now, and he still hadn’t gotten used to all her tech. If he was a hero in name, she was the genius behind every piece of technology in his arsenal, as well as all of the other members of the Heroics. Her superpower was her mind, that gorgeous, intricate, genius mind of hers. Her ability to retain information, learn, critically think, and create was almost impossible to fathom truly. At 33, she had twelve doctorates in various fields, including engineering, physics, nanotechnology, and art history. Her thirst for knowledge and eagerness to invent was unparalleled, even among other enhanced individuals. He would never stop singing her praises; she was a wonder. 

“Marcus, baby, do you wanna shower and go to bed? It’s late.” 

He sighed, starting to relax into the feeling of her fingers carding through his hair. “Baby, if you keep that up, I’m gonna fall asleep right here and now. I took a shower at HQ before I left, so I’m good.” He opened his eyes when her fingers stilled, looking up at the beautiful woman with the soft smile leaning over him. 

“Do you think you can stay up for a little bit longer, honey? I have a surprise for you.” 

He sat up, scooting up against the headboard, kicking off his shoes. He felt wide awake now. His wife wasn’t typically one for surprises on any old day. He wracked his mind, trying to make sure that he hadn’t missed her birthday, their dating anniversary, or any other consequential, momentous occasion. 

“I didn’t forget a special day, did I? Fuck, amor. I’m so sorry if I did. I’ve been spread so damn thin since the wedding; I’ve been running around like a madman.” 

She placed a tiny cream-colored box in his hands, his wife sitting right in front of him, eyes sparkling with excitement. “You didn’t miss anything, Marcus, just open the box. You’ll like it, I promise.” 

He nodded, pulling at the perfect bow holding the box closed, carefully opening the lid. For a minute, he just stared at the contents of the box, his eyes wide with shock. Ever so slowly, he picked up a pair of teeny baby booties, placing them in his large palm. He took the second item out, a pregnancy test that digitally read, PREGNANT. His hands began to shake; tears began to overflow, tracking down his cheeks. He looked up, his gaze locked on the woman in front of him. 

“Sweetheart, are we-? Are you-? We’re- we’re having a baby?” he managed to choke out. 

There was one more item in the box, at the bottom, an ultrasound labeled Baby Moreno. He studied the picture intently, his thumb moving over the little blob on the paper. That was his baby, their baby. They were having a baby. 

“Holy shit,” he murmured, “we’re having a baby!”

A giggle made him raise his eyes once again. “That’s what I said, too. I’m about ten weeks along now. You’re going to be a daddy of three, Marcus Moreno.” 

He scooped up everything in his lap, dumping it on the nightstand. He quickly grabbed his wife, flipping her so that she was under him. He covered her face in kisses, whispering how beautiful she was, how she was so loved, so treasured, so cherished. How their baby was made of nothing but love, how they were precious cargo, and how he would protect both of them every single day of his life. He kissed down her jaw, down her neck, eliciting breathy moans from the woman underneath him. His kisses went lower and lower until he reached her belly, pulling her nightie up around her waist so that he could get to her bare stomach. He planted dozens of kisses all over her belly, in awe of the life growing in there. 

“Hey baby, it’s your daddy,” he cooed softly. “Your mommy and I already love you, little one, and you’ll have two big sisters that I just know will love you too. I can’t wait for you to be here, little baby. I promise I’ll be here for you.” 

He looked adoringly at the mother of his youngest child, grinning as if his world had been made complete, and in all honesty, it had been. This baby, this tiny little one growing inside of the woman that he loved most, filled a hole in his heart that he hadn’t even been aware of. 

He bit down on his lower lip, smirking while ever so slowly pulling off her panties. He would lavish the woman he loved with every ounce of devotion, adoration, and love he had to offer. A breathless Oh please, Marcus was all he needed to motivate him to continue. He opened her legs up, giving him access to her slit, wet and wanting. He groaned, the sight making his mouth water. If he had it his way, Marcus could spend hours between her thighs. Two fingers lightly toyed with her slit, moving up and down, collecting her slick. 

“Look at you, baby, so wet for me, and I’ve barely touched you. If this is what pregnancy does to you, amor, I might have to start keeping better work hours so I can spend my time between your thighs.” 

He could see her hips try to follow his fingers, desperate for more than he was giving her. “Marcus, don’t tease, please,” she whined. He chuckled, easily giving in to her pleas. He couldn’t say no to her, not tonight. 

He buried his head between her legs, tongue coming out to lick a broad strip all the way to the top of her slit, his nose nudging her clit. She tasted like heaven, making him moan into her core, sending pleasurable shivers up her spine. He speared his tongue into her, getting as deep as he could, fucking her pussy with his tongue while her fingers tangled themselves in his curls. He kept exploring her folds with his tongue, hitting all the spots he knew would make her see stars. 

He easily pushed in two fingers, causing her to buck her hips up, matching his pace. He focused his tongue on her clit, alternating between drawing lazy circles and sucking her into his mouth. His fingers hit that sweet spot inside her with every thrust, bringing her closer and closer to her release. Before he knew it, she was cumming around his fingers, squeezing him tight and pulling him deeper. His mouth flooded with the taste that was uniquely hers, prompting him to moan. He could feel himself rock hard in his pants, leaking with his arousal. 

He crawled off the bed, swiftly ridding himself of his clothes, placing his glasses safely on the nightstand. He grabbed her glasses as well, placing them next to his own. She had shrugged off her robe and nightie, languidly watching him, her eyes blown wide with desire. 

“Marcus, I need you inside of me,” she begged. His large cock rested heavy against his stomach, tip red and leaking. The thought of him inside of her was almost too much. She needed him, and she needed him right now. 

He settled over her, catching her lips in a deep, earth-shattering kiss. His tongue explored her mouth, letting her taste herself. Marcus was intoxicating, enthralling, and all she wanted was more. Finally, they broke apart, panting slightly. 

“Dr. Moreno, my lovely wife, mother of my child, let me make love to you. Let me show you how happy you make me, sweetheart. I want to make you touch the sky,” he whispered into her ear. 

She beamed at him, cradling his cheek gently. “Yes, baby, I’m all yours.” He leaned back in, catching her into another searing kiss. He worked his length up and down her slit, coating himself in her slick, bumping her clit a few times in the process. At last, he began to leisurely enter her, inch by inch. They both groaned when he bottomed out, fully seated inside of her. 

“Fuck honey, you’re just so tight, so wet, so warm for me,” he whimpered, moving inside her with slow, deep strokes. He wanted to make this last, to draw out her pleasure. With every thrust, he told her how good she felt, how beautiful she looked underneath him, how her pussy was made for him, how perfect she was. He could’ve gone like that for quite some time, slowly bringing her closer and closer to her high. Only her pleas of more, faster, harder made him speed up. 

He grabbed one of her legs, placing it higher on his hip, allowing him to hit deeper inside her. Her hips moved in unison with his own, meeting each thrust into her. He would never get tired of the pretty sounds she made for him when he was fucking her. Those breathy moans she let out, the babbling it all spurred him on. He could tell she was close. She always got so fucking wet and even tighter right before she came. He dropped a hand between them, rubbing hard, tight circles around her clit. Not even a half dozen thrusts later, and she was wailing in ecstasy, clamping down on him like a vice. He wasn’t far behind, spilling himself deep within her, muttering her name over and over like a prayer. 

He rolled off of her, panting, taking a minute to catch his breath as he gazed at her blissed-out form. Hair a mess, chest heaving, lips swollen from his kisses to Marcus, she was stunning. He couldn’t think of a moment when she was more gorgeous than right then and there. He could look at her forever, just like this. 

Eventually, he got up and grabbed a warm cloth, gently cleaning her off. Turning off the light, he climbed back into bed, pulling her body to his, cradling her close. He let his hand wander, rubbing soothing circles over her belly. 

“You’re gonna look so stunning, honey, all round with our baby. I promise I’ll take such good care of you. I’ll do whatever you need.” 

He could feel his wife sigh, completely relaxed in his arms. He held her close, basking in her warmth and the love between them. He let his mind wander, thinking of the future, thinking of this baby. 

“I’m gonna cut back at work, move more into an advisory role in the Heroics. As your pregnancy progresses, I’ll be able to work from home and take a solid chunk of paternity leave when the baby comes. I’ve given enough of myself to the world. It’s time for me to give everything I can to my family, to you, to the girls, to this baby. I’ll go drop off the marriage certificate tomorrow before I go into HQ to talk about restructuring my job. That way, you’ll officially be Dr. Moreno, even though you’ve already been that to me for a long time.” 

She answered him with a happy sigh and kisses to his hand that entwined with hers. “I’d like that, Marcus. It might be selfish, but I want you here, with us. We love you so much; it’s nice when you’re here. It makes our family complete.” 

They spent a few more minutes talking about the future, drifting off into deep, dreamless sleep. The thought of tomorrow was full of bright promises, just waiting to be embraced. 

[leafs-lover]

Because Two People Got Drunk: 43

Chapter 43

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Angst, heart break and heartache, swearing, drinking soft, smut

Word Count: 12000

You are awoken at 8am by Elise stirring slightly beside you. Knowing she is hungry and this is the last time you will get to feed her before the honeymoon you adjust your top and pull her into your embrace. You have plenty of milk in the fridge ready for your trip, but you want to enjoy this intimate moment with your daughter.

She immediately latches and you lean back against the headboard gently brushing her thin hairs from her forehead you stare down at her. Normally you would be completely mesmerized staring down at her; this huge piece of you, piece of Fred resting in your embrace. Just as you had felt with your three sons; and every morning with Elise up until this point.

Normally you use these quiet moments with your kids to try to determine what traits they have taken from you, what they have taken from Fred, their father, the man you are set to marry today.

But not today.

Today you feel uneasy, anxious, a ball of nerves resting in your gut. Your stomach doing backflips, nausea washing over you. Your entire body gets hot, palms getting clammy; you take deep breaths in through your nose and out your mouth, hoping you can make it through the feeding without puking.

You hear Carlee groan at the light knocking at the door, followed by her footsteps on the tile floor. Making your way out to the living room Allie stumbles out of her room wiping sleep from her eyes. Metal squeaking accompanies Carlee as she rolls the tray into the room. She pulls the lids off as you flop onto the couch as Sarah makes her way to join you.

“Good morning beautiful, can’t wait to see you in eight hours when you finally become my wife. Love you xoxo Fred” Carlee reads from a card that accompanies your breakfast. There is a round of “aww’s” from everyone as their eyes fall to you. You swallow the lump in your throat giving a fake smile that nobody seems to see through, still foggy with pre-coffee haze.

The room quickly gets busy after breakfast, Amalie and Charlotte arriving first. Some girls are getting their makeup done, others, yourself included, still having their hair done. You have a white silk robe slung over your shoulders, while all the girls have a pistachio coloured one. Each embroidered with cursive font on the back.

Maybe it’s the buzz in the room; the giggles and chatter, that nobody notices you have barely touched your first mimosa. Or maybe they think you are trying to take it easy, not wanting to be that bride. The bride who spends her wedding with her head in a toilet bowl. Or maybe they think you are pregnant, given your track record it’s not an unreasonable assumption.

Maybe it’s the excitement of Kathy walking in absolutely glowing, six months in to her pregnancy. Or maybe it’s Elise who spends most of the day being passed around the room from woman to woman. Even as she naps she never sees her bassinet, someone always free to bounce in her arms.

But if someone had of looked a little closer they would have seen how your nose scrunched up and you gagged taking that first sip of your mimosa. If someone had of listened they would have heard, well they would have heard nothing.

They would have noticed how 90% of your responses have been under five words, or how most of your responses are half smiles with a small nod of the head. If anyone had of watched they would have seen how you haven’t held your daughter in almost 5 hours, how you are the only person not to rub Kathy’s stomach in hopes of feeling a kick.

If they had of paid attention they would have noticed that you are constantly picking your nails. Your knee is anxiously tapping against the floor, so much so you are surprised a hole hasn’t developed.

If anyone had of noticed they would have seen the emptiness behind your eyes as you slowly fade further and further back.

But they don’t.

Or maybe they do. But maybe they think you are just nervous or so excited you are caught in your head. Maybe this is how some brides feel how some act.

Uneasy at the thought of walking down the aisle.

Uneasy at the thought of getting married.

**

“Oh you guys are gorgeous” you say as your bridesmaids walk into your sight in floor length pistachio A-line dresses. The top has a scoop neck with a white lace overlay and a racerback. The bottom is a chiffon skirt complete with white heels and matching earrings. It’s something you gifted them all with as a thank you for standing beside you, being a part of this day with you.

It’s after 2:30 and everyone is getting into their dresses, you the last person. You hand Elise over to Charlotte having just got her into her wedding day outfit. The seamstress did an amazing job and the dress that was too big mere weeks ago fits her perfectly.

Carlee and Allie lead you to an attached room and unzip the bag, both of them gasping at the dress before them. They of course helped pick it out, but they haven’t seen it since then. And there is a pretty big change that nobody including yourself knew about until the first fitting.

“Hey babe” you call out walking into the kitchen setting your purse down on the counter.

“Hey” Fred’s arms wrap around your stomach puling you back against his chest. “How’d it go?” his hand gently rubs over the bump.

“Well bean here decided before my first fitting was the perfect time to pop, so the dress would barely do up around it” you laugh. “My dress fittings going forward will be interesting.”

“I’m sure you still looked gorgeous babe” his warm breath is on the shell of your ear. “Wear track pants for all I care.”

“Funny thing though” you gently rub your hands over his as he hums in response. “It wasn’t the dress I picked out.”

“Hmm that is weird” he mumbles.

“Yeah see I ordered a white dress, the one  I tried on today was blush.”

You pull his hands away and turn gently in his arms. Your hands land on his shoulders and his eyes stare down at you.

“You wouldn’t know anything about that would you?” you ask quirking an eyebrow.

“No” he shakes his head. “That is super weird.”

“You sure?” you ask seeing him trying to hide a smirk but he just nods in response.

“When I asked them about it they said my fiancé went in and made the change” you explain. “Two days after I ordered it.”

You stare up at him, your gaze getting firmer. Your arms cross over your chest and you take a step backwards until you hit the counter running out of space. Staring into his eyes he is the first to break with a deep sigh.

“Kay. So the girls came down last month and you all went shopping, and that night I facetimed with you.”

“Mhm” you nod.

“You wouldn’t tell me anything about the dress just that you loved it but I could tell you were holding something back. Well Lucas started screaming and you passed the phone to Carlee for a couple minutes. Well I kept pestering them and finally Allie let it slip that she didn’t think you were 100% happy with it.”

Shaking your head slightly Fred continues on, his eyes softening “she said there was this dress in blush and you loved the colour but not the dress. Then you tried on the dress you bought and loved it but it was in white. They said you could get it in blush, but the customization was an additional $5000 so you said no and decided to go with white. She said you tried to pretend it wasn’t a big deal but they could tell you were a little upset. When I got back into town I stopped on my way home. The stylist you had was working and remembered very well how you seemed disappointed. She said it took you over thirty minutes to come out of the dressing room. So I pulled my credit card out and paid for the change then and there.”

“Fred that’s very sweet of you, but I was fine with white” you say softly.

He walks forward and pulls you into his chest before he has the chance to see your face. If he had of waited he might have seen through you, that the problem wasn’t the colour of your dress, something much larger kept you locked in that dressing room. Instead your face is pressed into his chest and he continues on, none the wiser.

“You shouldn’t be fine about your wedding dress. And you know I don’t care about money, the dress even in blush was actually much less than I thought it would be. I just want to make sure this is the wedding of your dreams.”

You should have been thrilled at Fred’s surprise. It should have made you feel like the most special girl in the entire world. That you have a fiancé who is willing to stop at nothing to ensure today is exactly as you dreamed it.

Only thing is this isn’t how you dreamt it. How could you?

Instead of feeling butterflies about seeing Fred you have an overwhelming pit in your stomach. No amount of distractions or mental pep talks making it go away.

Slowly Carlee zips the dress up, working on the couple of buttons of the ball gown. Taking a few uneasy breaths staring at yourself in the mirror, you feel tears prick your eyes, just as Allie attaches the vail to your head.

“You look so beautiful” Carlee squeals fixing some of your hair.

“Thanks babe” you reply taking yourself in. The top is lace and beads, dropping into a low V on the front and back. Below the waist blush coloured tulle falls to your feet, trailing a few feet behind you. It’s not a classic ball gown, lacking the puffiness of a princess dress, but still not having a form fitted bottom.

A part of you was worried about the fit, being pregnant the seamstress only had 10 weeks to make the changes. And during that time your body was constantly changing, adjusting to no longer being pregnant. You had no idea what to expect, and this has been a major stress for you.

Finally ready complete with the earrings Charlotte leant you, the pair she wore on her wedding day. You walk over to the window looking out at the 200 guests who are patiently waiting in your seats, sun shining down on them. The clock quickly approaching 4 and everyone is laughing and chatting amongst themselves, every seat full.

You sigh and sniffle back the tears seeing them.

The two empty seats in the front row.

Walking out to the other room joining your other bridesmaids you notice Charlotte has left. Finding her way to Fred, for him to escort her down the aisle. Only Elise and the five bridesmaids left, all eyes falling on you.

**

“Mommy you look beautiful” you hear your son call. Turning around you see the three of them in matching navy tuxedo’s complete with black bow ties. Fred took you and the kids out a couple months ago to the tailors to pick out the looks for the groomsmen and the boys but you never imagined they would look this adorable.

The dark fabric against his light skin, matching suspenders and hair combed to the side just tugs on your heart strings. A white boutonniere pinned to the outside of his jacket. Fred styled his hair off to the side, his wavy red hair framing his face. You wipe away a stray tear quickly picking him up for a big hug.

“Oh my goodness look at you” you coo pressing a kiss to his cheek. “You are just the most handsome best little man.”

A smile tugs on the edge of his lips and a blush hits his cheeks “thanks mommy.”

“How is daddy doing?” you ask giving him another kiss tickling his side.

“He said I can’t tell you” he giggles making you laugh. You hoped Oliver would divulge some details into how Fred was handling today. If his nerved were getting to him, or if he was calm, like when he is in net on game day.

You wish he hadn’t told him though, you wish Oliver would tell you he is anxious. That he had to pour himself a glass of whiskey to calm down, his leg was tapping anxiously against the wood floor. That he was being pulled in two different directions while trying to play it off. But it appears Fred beat you to the punch, telling your child to stay tight lipped.

“Oh and look at your brothers” you say trying to distract yourself as Mitch stands there, holding each of the twins hands. They have on identical suits to Oliver, hair combed over to the side. “All of you are just so handsome.”

You walk over completely bypassing Mitch and scooping them for a big hug. You press your lips to their foreheads holding your three boys tight. Oliver begins to groan about it being too tight and you release him standing up to be met with Mitch.

“Hey Mitch” you say straightening his bow tie before he wraps his arms around you for a tight hug.

“You look beautiful momma” he says into your ear.

“You look nice too” you smile.

“I look better than nice” he scoffs jokingly. “Is the little lady ready?” he asks looking over to Elise. Wide eyes and smiling in her bassinet dressed in a white dress. It has a lace top and tulle bottom, a large bow tied around it, a white floral headband on her head.

While planning the wedding you tried to find a way to include all of the kids in the day. When you thought you were having a boy you planned on one of the bridesmaids pulling him down the aisle in a wagon. With the surprise of having a girl you switched to a groomsman pulling her down the aisle, and Mitch immediately volunteered to escort her. During the ceremony she will be with Charlotte in the first row but you still wanted to have her be a part of the ceremony.

“Yeah we just have to get her in the wagon” you respond as he walks over picking her up. He grabs a blanket placing it over his crisp suit to protect himself from the potential baby vomit, before pressing her against it. She coos in his arms reaching out to grab his thick brown locks giving them a tight yank.

“Okay” the planner comes into the room scanning around at everyone “Fred is ready and waiting for you.”

“Ready” Carlee comes up wrapping her arms around you for a tight squeeze. You feel yourself tense at the words, fists clenching firmly. Your nails dig harshly into your palms and you take a few uneasy breaths. Unclenching your fists you see the crescent shaped marks you left behind. All day you thought these feelings would go away once it came time to walk down the aisle, but instead bile rises in your throat.

Pulling away she sees some tears in your eyes, your bottom lip beginning to quiver. “Hey don’t cry” she wipes away the tears with her thumbs. Immediately recognizing these aren’t happy tears, they are the tears that often come before a collapse of emotions. Her voice drops to a hushed whisper as her lips find your ear “what’s going on?” she whispers.

She pulls you in tight and an involuntary sob slips from you before you breakdown against her. The room goes quiet only your sobs echoing as her hand tangles into your curls holding you close.

“(Y/N)” she whispers running her other hand up and down your back.

Your chest heaves and you fall apart in her arms “I don’t know if I can do this” you whisper through a deep shuddering breath as Allie comes up to you wrapping her arms around the two of you. Your chest tightens and your breathing gets erratic the room feeling like its crumbling around you.

“What do you mean (Y/N)” they usher you over to the couch your head falling onto Allie’s shoulder, Carlee crouching down in front of you. The silence that fills the air is deafening. You can feel the tension in the room as everyone watches on, waiting to see how everything unfolds.

“You don’t want to marry Fred?” Carlee asks softly squeezing your hands, your body stiffening at her words.

Your eyes stay locked on your feet but you crumble hearing her words, your heart breaking into a million pieces. You become frozen unable to respond, everything around you fading into the background. Taking a deep breath, anxiety brewing low in your gut slowly inching its way up to your surface

You don’t know how long you sit there, your eyes glazed warm tears barreling down your cheeks. Allie gently squeezes your hand and you remain frozen eyes locked on the floor. “What do you need babe? Need to run, we can do that.”

Silence.

Over what feels like the next hour Carlee and Allie try to talk to you. You hear Oliver object while Mitch, Amalie and Sarah usher the kids outside to provide you with privacy. His cries make your stomach churn and your chest tightens but you can do nothing to help calm him down. You barely have control of yourself at this point.

You spend the next ten minutes sobbing against Allie’s shoulder, Carlee constantly dabbing your tears trying to preserve your makeup. You have a tight hold on one of Carlee’s hands and one of Allie’s as they try to encourage you and talk you down. But it’s no use.

Your hands are shaking, blood running cold while the ringing in your ears drowns everything else out. They become inaudible; the only sound you hear is your heart beating through your chest. You feel like you are outside your body watching everything unfold. Stuck in a glass box and no matter how hard you pound your fists against it, it won’t break.

Tears are streaming down your face, and you know nothing will ease them at this point. Biting the inside of your cheek, the taste of copper fills your mouth. Your entire body tenses up “I can’t” you say pushing up from the couch walking away “I can’t do this.”

“(Y/N) you can do this” Carlee says walking up to you.

The blood pounds in your ears. Your heart thudded in your chest. Your hands trembling, feet tingling as you kick your shoes aside. You have to get out. You cry harder, chest growing tighter as bile rises in your throat. Your fists are so tightly bound you expect to draw blood

“No!” you yell stopping her in her tracks “you need to get me out of this.” Turning around to show her the buttons on the back “I can’t breathe you need to get me out of this.”

“Okay okay okay” she fumbles with the buttons, Allie coming to help her. Finally you push it down your body and step out of it standing in just underwear. Immediately you fall to the cool tile floor your dress in a pile a few feet away. Bending your knees and putting your head between them taking a few deep breaths.

You don’t move sitting on the cool floor in your underwear taking deep breaths while your friends silently look on, unsure of what to do next. Seconds feel like minutes, your heart still pounding through your chest. “I need Fred” you whisper so low it’s almost silent.

“What sweetie?” Allie asks your head not lifting from between your legs.

“I need Fred” you repeat and hear her heels click against the floor as the door shuts.

**

“Wow Frederik” your mom calls walking over to you. She grips your face placing a kiss on your cheek “you look so handsome.”

“Thanks ma” you place a kiss on her cheek pulling back slightly “you look great too.”

She smiles wide “ready?” she asks fixing your sleeve. You can see the tears resting behind her eyes, seeing her first born on his wedding day.

“You have no idea” you laugh holding an arm out for her. “I can’t wait to marry her.”

“Well between you and me, she looks absolutely beautiful” Charlotte says kissing your cheek again. You just smile in response, you have no doubt she is going to be breathtaking. You don’t even know if you’ll be able to get through your vows without breaking down.

Her arm links with yours and you begin the walk down the aisle, past the crowd of onlookers. Scanning around you see friends and family on both sides, team mates from all your years in the NHL scattered around.

You don’t spend much time scanning the faces, mostly looking ahead to your awaiting groomsmen. To the altar where you will finally get everything you’ve ever wanted. The squared off altar with soft coloured cloth draping it, white, red and pink roses mingled in it. The large oversized lanterns, soft coloured flowers littering the edge of the aisle, the oval backed brown chairs.

You had no idea this is how it would look. (Y/N) showed you pictures throughout the entire process, but you mostly helped nudge her when she couldn’t pull the trigger. The colour of flowers, the shape of the twinkiling lights, size of the candles. None of them really mattered to you, so you mostly tried to figure out what way (Y/N) was leaning and encouraged her to choose that. She wasn’t always subtle on what option she preferred, but all you need is her standing across from you and nothing else would matter.

But taking in the décor, all you can see is (Y/N). Everything looks amazing, not that you should be surprised. Kissing her cheek she makes her way to her seat and you finally take your spot at the altar beside your groomsmen. Next are the bridesmaids, your kids and then (Y/N).

You shutter just thinking about how in less than thirty minutes she will be your wife. You have the four most amazing kids, and soon this woman you share everything with will be your wife. You thought your family was complete when Elise was born, but today is the final piece to your forever.

“You ready for this” Auston whispers in your ear and you quickly whisper a yes not even bothering to look towards him. Your eyes stay locked down the aisle waiting for them to appear.

Scanning around the crowd you can see the guests getting antsy in their seats. You didn’t go through how long after you arrived at the altar the bridesmaids would start to walk but you are beginning to think it’s taking a little longer than expected.

Shifting awkwardly on your feet you turn to your watch, over twenty minutes late. While being punctual isn’t always her strong suit when dealing with four kids, today is the one day you can’t imagine she will be late.

And that’s when you see her.

Allie.

Quickly making her way down the aisle.

Too quickly.

That’s when it hits you, you shouldn’t be seeing her. It should be Amalie first. And Allie doesn’t look happy, she looks stressed. You swallow the lump in your throat as she comes up to you, turning you so your back is to the crowd.

“You need to come” she whispers in a hushed but assertive tone. “(Y/N)…” she trails off “(Y/N) needs you. Now.”

Your back stiffens at the firmness in her voice. Before she spoke you knew something was wrong, but hearing her tell you that makes you want to fall apart. Instead you turn saying nothing to nobody and head in the wrong direction, back where you came from minutes ago.

Gasps and whispers fill the crowd, your mom trying to reach out for you but you are gone. Long strides propel you down the aisle, once around the corner and away from the guests you take off running. Past Mitch who is bouncing Elise. Past Amalie who is trying to distract the twins. Past Oliver who cries out for you as Kathy holds him so he can’t chase after you.

Opening the door you don’t know what you expect. But it is not (Y/N) naked on the floor, her dress haphazardly thrown in a pile on the floor. Her head between her legs as she takes deep breaths. Her cries the only thing you hear.

Your stomach churns as you watch the site unfold in front of you. Swallowing back the lump in your throat, your heart breaks into a million pieces. Carlee shooting you a soft half smile before wordlessly slipping out around you.

**

You hear his dress shoes click on the polished floor. He can feel the pain rolling off you in waves long before he reaches you. Sighing he slides onto the floor beside you crossing his ankles. He doesn’t say anything, watching your chest heave, listening to your strangled sobs. He glances over at you. You can feel his gaze burning into the side of your head but you refuse to meet his eyes.

Too frozen, too afraid of what you might see. What you have caused. You don’t know how long the two of you sit there, but he doesn’t talk, he doesn’t touch you. He sits. Silently. Uncomfortably, Heart breaking as every second ticks on, but he knows you need time.

Finally your tears begin to subside, the walls pulling back from around you. Your knees bent and arms curled around them you take an uneasy breath mustering the strength to stare at Fred who has yet to move.

Your eyes flick to meet his deep brown orbs, they are glazed over, the tears pricking his eyes yet to fall. He stares down at his feet taking some uneasy exhales waiting to see if his life is about to unravel in front of him. His face is a blanket of panic and fear and it bruises your heart.

You see the pain in his eyes, the pain you caused and you immediately crumble yet again. Your head falls onto his shoulder, the touch startling him. He closes his eyes, focusing on the gentle touch before taking a deep breath. Without thinking he pulls you into his lap, wrapping his arms around you. He holds you tight to his chest, worried this is the last time. That if he lets go he’ll never get to hold you again.

One hand tightly grips your arm his other gently stroking up your cool skin. You continue to sob against his chest, but relax against him. You feel him exhale because you didn’t recoil from his touch. The silence in the room is ominous certainly loaded with meaning.

You don’t know how long you sit on the floor with him “you still want to be with me?” he hesitantly asks. Hearing him say those words breaks you. It’s not the words themselves, it’s the absolute despair and heart break he tries to hide but even still you hear the fracture in his words.

“Do you actually think that?” you whisper.

“Up until five minutes ago I had no doubts at all. Then Allie comes barreling towards me and I find you sitting in your underwear, your dress in a pile on the floor. Now I don’t know what to think.” The strain in his voice trying not to let it crack tears your heart in two and sends warm tears barreling down your cheeks.

You choke on your tears, pulling your eyes up to meet his. The look on his face nearly kills you, inadequacy, rejection, humiliation. The silence hangs thick in the air, a gentle thumb wipes the tears that have stained your cheeks. You smile lightly at his actions. As he sits there waiting to find out if you are about to break his heart he still is putting you and your needs first.

“Is this a Cody situation?” he whispers.

“What?” you say a little too harshly.

“Your ex”

“I know who Cody is Fred” you groan.

“You once told me you didn’t know why but you couldn’t commit to him that something was missing. When the time came for you to decide you couldn’t do it. Is this” he trails off trying to find the strength, but you don’t know if it’s to ask the question or for the answer. “Is this like that?”

“No. I love you Freddie so much” you whisper unsure if you can use your full voice.

“What’s going on babe” he asks softly thumb gently stroking over your cheek. Your bottom lip trembles as you struggle to find the words before you finally choke out“my parents.”

You watch him exhale the breath he has been holding onto for the past few minutes. His shoulders relaxing slightly but he still keeps you tight to him. His arms had never felt better wrapped around you. Holding you safe.

You have had a pit in your stomach for months, but you tried to push it aside. You have known since you were 12 that you had to do this on your own. You weren’t going to call your mom and facetime her minutes after accepting the proposal. Your dad wouldn’t cry when he saw you for the first time in your dress, your mom wouldn’t watch on during the father daughter dance.

You have been telling yourself it’s normal, that these feelings are to be expected but on the actual day you thought excitement would supersede your anxiety. But now you are wrecked with nerves and you just know you can’t do it. You can’t stand at the altar, with two empty chairs in the front row staring back at you. Seats that shouldn’t be empty, seats where your parents should be sitting.

Neither one of you says anything, Fred allowing you to cry against his smooth suit fabric. He feels your body slowly begin to relax, your sobs becoming less strangled but he doesn’t say anything giving your arm a soft squeeze. The soft thudding of his heart helps to slow yours down, calming you down.

“I’m sorry” you say faintly.

“Don’t apologize, I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now” he hums pressing his lips softly to your temple. You melt into his touch and instantly felt all the tension he had been holding escape.

“I didn’t think it would be this hard” you sigh. “I thought I could make it through today, I didn’t expect to feel this way.”

“You didn’t think you’d miss your parents on your wedding day” he laughs lightly.

“I don’t know” you groan. “I thought I would be too busy to think about them, with everything going on. But now all I can think about is them; how they aren’t here.”

“How long has this been going on?” he asks knowing this didn’t start today.

“For a while” you mumble “first happened when I tried on dresses.”

You spent twenty minutes having a breakdown in the dressing room over the fact that your mom wasn’t there. That she didn’t get to be a part of the experience with you. You had long known she wouldn’t be there but that day sitting in the dress you fell apart. You told your friends you spent the time trying on dresses that you instantly knew were no’s and that’s why you were in there for so long. There have been a few times since then, but that was the first moment you truly missed her.

“You want to run” he asks causing you to snort slightly. “We don’t have to get married smuk. We have four kids and two houses. You already are my wife; I don’t need some piece of paper that says that. Just need you.”

“No Fred” you laugh for the first time all day. “I want to marry you, I just…I need a minute to miss my parents.”

“Take all the time you need, I’m not going anywhere” your head falls onto his chest listening to the soft beating of his chest. The light thud against your ear slowly soothes you, and for the first time in a while you feel at ease.

Finally you smile at him “I am so happy I have you.”

He leans forward to gently press his lips to yours. The kiss starts soft and hesitant. A kiss that tastes and feels like home making your arms wrap around him as you sink into the kiss. “I love you” he mumbles against your lips as he captures his breathe before returning his lips to yours.

His hand squeezes your arm tightly as he groans against you tongue sliding back inside your mouth. You run your fingers through his hair gently tousling the curls as the kiss becomes more heated. Fred is the first to pull away breathless, lips covered in your lipstick.

“I’m ready now” you say capturing your breath.

“Sure you don’t need another minute” he smirks pulling your face forward for another heated kiss. His tongue slips inside your mouth, your hand gently raking through his scruffy beard.

“So if it’s bad luck to see each other on the wedding day, what do you think kissing is?” he laughs against your lips.

“Let’s go” you rise to your feet pulling him up. Feet firmly planted on the ground you finally feel grounded. He pulls you back into his chest your arms tangling behind his jacket and he presses one last kiss to your forehead. The two of you stand there for a few minutes before you pull back. “You have lipstick all over your face” you tease.

“You’re naked and late to the ceremony” he quips back. “See you down there babe” he presses his lips back to yours before slipping back out the door.

**

“For years I’ve watched guys stare at their families through the glass, smiling at their wives and doing some pregame ritual with their kids. I never realized just how jealous I was of them until I saw you on the other side.”

You smile at Fred, the gentle breeze blowing through your hair, warm sun shining on you. The pond is your back drop a low chirping of birds and rustling of trees can be heard. Even though you saw Fred not too long ago, walking down the aisle was the first time you managed to take him in. Swathed in smooth navy, his hair slicked back, sun reflecting off his red hair. Everything you could have imagined in life standing a few feet away. Your hands gently resting in his as he recites his vows, you having just finished yours.

“When I saw you there bouncing Oliver in your arms I knew I wanted you there for every game. That I need you to be there every game. Feelings I thought were gone were suddenly awakened seeing you with our son. I knew I could have everything I ever wanted in life all I had to do was yes to love…and get you to agree.”

You roll your eyes and a few members of the wedding party chuckle but he continues on unfazed. “You are so funny and always able to make me laugh. But I don’t love you because you are funny or smart or kind, I love you because you are my best friend. I love how when you smile you get these cute crinkles by the corner of your eyes and the dimples in your cheeks. How when your favourite song comes on you will involuntarily start dancing while you cook dinner or make yourself a tea. That when you are truly happy your face lights up with the purest of radiance.”

You hear some commotion to the side cutting Fred off. You and try to ignore it, Fred clearing his throat when it gets louder. A smirk crosses both your faces glancing to the side to see Noah fussing. Fred opens his mouth but is cut off by a loud shriek followed by a “momma.” In typical fashion Lucas picks up on the fussiness of his twin and begins to squirm joining in the crying.

“They missed their nap today” Fred explains causing everyone to chuckle. Your eyes glance to the side and you see Charlotte and Ernst trying to soothe the two of them before bringing your gaze back to Fred. There is a sparkle in his eye with a wide grin spread across his face as the twins begins to calm down.

Clearing his throat he goes to start again “I can’t imagine my life without you” he starts but is quickly cut off by their cries again.

“One sec” you take a few steps and pull Noah into your arms. As you grab him Lucas is quick to call out “momma” and make an up motion with his fists. Shaking your head you pull him on to your other hip bouncing the two of them they begin to calm down as you return to Freddie. He quickly pulls Lucas from you, his head falling onto his dad’s shoulder relaxing against him.

Placing a quick kiss on his forehead and brushing some of Noah’s stray hairs he curls up on against you. “Okay ready” you smile taking your one free hand to grip his.

“I love that you are an amazing mother” he laughs bringing a hand up to Noah’s cheek brushing away the few tears that fell. “You are a fierce protective mother, and always put the kids first. Almost to a fault sometimes” he glances towards the boys who are standing up at the altar with you, not with their grandparents a few feet away. A large smile spreads across your face but you don’t care. The past few years your lives have been centered around being a family, and having them up there with you for this feels right.

“I had no idea when I met you that you were going to implode my life, but in the most amazing way possible. But now I can’t imagine a day without you. Standing here with you there isn’t a single thing I would change because it all led me to this point. I only went out for a drink and I got a whole lot more than I bargained for.”

He turns his attention to Lucas and places a soft kiss on his forehead. He has since calmed down and is resting against Fred, his eyes getting heavy. Turning back to you he smiles as Noah sleeps against your shoulder and chuckles. “Can’t believe all this happened because two people got drunk.”

“Geez” you laugh rolling your eyes as a few of the guest’s chuckle in response.

“(Y/N)” the officiant says “repeat after me. I, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), take you Frederik, to be my husband. I promise I will be faithful to you and honest with you; I will respect, trust, help, and care for you. I will continue to share my life with you and build our dreams together. I will love you and honour you, and be by your side for the good and the bad times, as long as we live.”

Taking a deep breath you smile at the man standing in front of you. One arm is holding your tired son, the other is holding onto Fred’s free hand “Jeg (Y/N) (Y/L/N) tager dig Frederik. at være min mand.”

He takes a deep sigh hearing you repeat the words back in Danish. It’s something you have been planning and working towards over the last couple months, trying to embrace this part of his life, your children’s life. Charlotte was eager to help you while she was visiting and you have been working on it since then. You sat down with her a few nights ago to repeat it one more time and she told you it was perfect. That you finally got the few words you have been struggling to pronounce.

“Jeg lover, at jeg vil være tro mod dig og være ærlig over for dig; Jeg vil respektere, stole på, hjælpe og passe på dig. Jeg vil fortsætte med at dele mit liv med dig og bygge vores drømme sammen. Jeg vil elske dig og ære dig og være ved din side til gode og dårlige tider, så længe vi lever.”

As soon as you finish he steps forward and his lips gently brushing against yours. It’s a soft and brief kiss but his hand lands on your hip to keep you close. His tongue traces along your lip, as your mouth opens. Before he can slide his tongue in you hear laughter from the guests. But it’s Oliver announcing “daddy is kissing mommy” that makes you laugh into the kiss and pull away.

“You’re ridiculous” you mumble softly and Fred just shrugs it off smiling wide to you.

**

Your hand trembles slightly sliding the ring on his finger, partially from the excitement that he is now your husband, but also because it’s slightly more difficult with a baby sleeping in your arms. Once it’s finally on his finger he laces his hands with yours and takes a step closer, minimizing the gap. His eyes drop to your lips, but this time he waits for the minister to tell him to kiss you. He glances slightly to his right before back to you, his tongue licking his lips slightly.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss your wife...again”

Before he even gets the words out Fred ducks down to bring you in for a kiss. Unlike the last one this is full of passion and heat. He slides his tongue in swiping across the inside of your cheek while his free hand finds the small of your back. You groan into the kiss bringing your free hand up to his beard. Your tongues continue to fight for dominance, and you begin to feel heat hit your cheeks.

You never imagined your wedding day kiss would be so heated. Thinking of all the people staring you chuckle lightly and pull away from him, foreheads still touching. Fred has a wide smile as he closes the gap once again, this time for a soft and brief kiss.

**

Everyone has wide grins on their faces, laughter filling the room around you. Multiple conversations are happening at every table, Fred chatting with Auston and Mitch while you are sitting, watching people enjoy themselves and having an amazing time. Fred’s chair is right beside yours, one hand resting on the tulle that covers your bottom half, a glass of whiskey in his other hand. Scanning around the room you smile taking in your friends and family, alcohol and laughter coursing through them.

Suddenly you hear a shriek and look out to see Lucas with orange juice staining his white shirt. Charlotte is quickly making work with some napkins to try and clean him, but you know it’s no use, the stain unlikely to come out.

“It’s not a big deal” Fred says into your ear.

“I don’t care" you smile turning your attention to Fred.

“You don’t care?” he repeats almost baffled.

“Why would I?” you move closer and breathe in his cologne, your hand landing on his thigh. “We have kids, they spill things, besides that shirt won’t fit him in a couple months anyways. And I’m married to the most amazing man, we have the most amazing kids. All of our friends and family are here, nothing else matters.”

“Almost everyone” he corrects brushing his lips to your temple. “What would they be doing if they were here?”

Taking a sigh you turn to him with a tear lining your eye. “Dad would always have a beer in his hand, walking around talking to everyone. Be the life of the party, laughing with anyone because if he didn’t he’d break down over his daughter getting married.”

“And your mom" he laughs taking a small sip of whiskey.

“She would always have one of the kids in her hands. You wouldn’t see her once without them. She’d hold Ollie and be out on the dance floor with him, rocking E to sleep, and constantly be playing with the twins to get them to laugh. She’d probably miss the cake cutting or a speech so encapsulated with them.

The only thing she wouldn’t miss is the father daughter dance. She’d watch the whole thing tears rolling down her cheeks.” You laugh slightly pulling back some tears.

“They would have loved you” you turn to Fred smiling.

“Yeah? The guy who got their daughter drunk and pregnant after one night?” he laughs.

“Well maybe not at first” you chuckle. “Dad would have hated you then, been an absolute dick to you. Even once we started dating he still would have been short with you, my mom would have had to talk to him. He reluctantly would have invited you golfing to appease both of us but he’d make it known he was only doing this for us and he wasn’t going to have a good time. Then he would see what I see and the two of you would become best friends.

He’d always have your favourite whiskey in the bar, ready and waiting for you. He’d go golfing and play tennis with you on weekends, tell you that you are barbequing wrong“ you say laughing lightly.

“Wish I got to meet them elskede" his lips gently brush against yours.

“Me too" you turn back to the scene unfolding, curling into his chest as his arm wraps around your shoulder. “Me too.”

**

“Oh my god that is just the cutest thing ever” Steph says staring onto the dance floor. Turning your attention over you see a few couple scattered around dancing before finding what she is talking about. Fred holding your daughter against his chest and you see his lips moving, him whispering to her as she sleeps in his arm, moving with the beat of the song.

You grin wide looking out, leaning against the bar behind you “I know he makes my ovaries explode” you groan as you feel of wetness go straight to your core.

“Watch it or you’ll make baby number five” she adds and you through your head back laughing.

“No, there will be no baby number five” you laugh. “But when he does shit like that it becomes hard for me to not want another.”

“Just wait until he sees your lingerie later he’ll be saying the same thing” Steph smirks winking at you.

Groaning you turn around to face the bar to order a drink while you continue to talk to her. The lights brighten slightly and you hear the DJ say something about a change of pace before feeling the bass vibrate under your feet.

“What are you ladies talking about” Fred asks as you turn around to find him, Auston and Mitch joining you by the bar.

“You guys having baby number 5” Steph teases and Fred chokes on his drink while Auston’s eyes go wide.

“Oh my god I said there will be no baby number 5” you laugh as Fred pulls you into his side, relaxing his grip. “We were actually talking about your girlfriend Maddie” you look to Auston.

The two of them have barely been dating for 6 months; Fred told you he is actually crazy about her, never having seen him like this with a girl. He told you Auston deleted all his dating apps and hookups phones numbers within weeks of meeting her and Fred thinks she could be someone serious for him.

He waited a bit to introduce her to the team and bring her to a game. She is a little more reserved and he didn’t want to overwhelm her with this part of his life, but this is the first time she has been around a large group of players at once.

“Wondering when it will be your wedding” you deflect some of the attention off you and onto him. His cheeks heat up and he shifts on his feet with a smirk on his face.

“It’s a little soon for that” he says softly but a part of you doesn’t believe it. He has basically been attached to her all day, constantly pulling her onto the dance floor, hand resting on the small of her back.

“Stop teasing him, he’s in love” Mitch teases.

“Fucking hate you guys” he mumbles.

“Elise and the twins are heading to bed, Ollie says he hasn’t had cake yet so he won’t go” Fred whispers in your ear. He grips your hand and pulls you over to the kids to say goodnight and goodbye, not seeing them until you return from the honeymoon.

**

“I don’t know if I’ve told you today, but you are absolutely breathtaking” he murmurs in your ear pulling you back against his chest. You just spent the last few minutes with Oliver spinning him on the dance floor, his laughter almost louder than the music. The lights have been dimmed; mostly it’s the warm glow from the twinkling lights and candles illuminating the space.

“You might have mentioned it once or twice” you turn your head to glance at him.

“Once or twice” he presses his lips to your temple “I need to up my game.”

Leaning back your head rests against his chest watching Oliver lead Mitch to the treat table to grab another cupcake. “You know for someone who never stopped pestering me about her wedding band, you haven’t even looked at it.”

“Oh” you realize. “I guess nothing really matters except the fact that I’m married to you” you smile.

You raise your hand and turn your attention to examine the rose gold band resting around your finger. There are multiple tiny diamonds evenly spaced around the band, shimmering back at you in the light.

“Oh it’s beautiful” you gasp examining the band, spinning it on your finger. Something about it looks familiar but you can’t place it.

“Mhm” he hums. “Recognize it?”

You stop fidgeting the ring and try to think of the one Charlotte has, maybe he had one designed to be similar to it. But her band is gold, and doesn’t have the number of stones placed on it. And you know it isn’t your grandmothers. Her wedding band is the one her mother managed to keep hidden during WWII, it’s a simple gold band with one small stone. But somehow this ring feels very familiar.

After a few minutes you finally sigh and turn your head back to look at him. There is a few beads of sweat in his hair line, only wearing his dress shirt having discarded everything else a while ago due to the heat. The top couple buttons of his shirt are undone, his chain visible on his hard chest.

“No I don’t” you say eyes trained on his.

“It was your moms” he says softly and you feel tears hit the back of your eyes threatening to spill out.

“What?” you choke out turning around in his embrace.

“Your grandmother offered it to me the day I asked them for permission” he explains, hands resting on the small of your back. You bring your hand back up into your view as you other tangles around his back, grabbing a chunk of his fabric.

“You’re dad had good taste” he says leaning down to press his lips to your forehead and a few stray tears start to roll down your cheeks.

“I can’t believe you-“ you choke on your tears sniffling against him. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“Seriously? I was so happy when she offered it to me There was no way I wasn’t going to give you this ring. ” He gently brings a hand to yours lacing his fingers with yours and gently spins the band around your finger with his thumb.

“I wish they were here babe but this ring is a part of them. It represents their love, their marriage and their family. I can’t think of a better wedding band for my wife. Every time you look at it you will think of me and my love for you but also the love they shared.”

Your tears continue to fall as he tightens his arms around you. A slow song has begun to play and he slowly rocks the two of you to the beat, holding both of your hands against his chest. He hums the tune, his lips gently pressed against your forehead.

Standing tangled in his arms you have never felt so at ease. You realize that as long as you have Fred, you have everything you will ever need. Everything in life will be okay, and even if it isn’t somehow everything will sort itself out.

**

“Why don’t you put me down” you giggle as Fred struggles with the key. It’s not a typical key card it is an actual key and he is fumbling to unlock the door while your arms are wrapped around his neck.

“It’s our wedding night, I’m going to carry you over the threshold” he mumbles finally getting the key in.

“So traditional” you smirk pressing your lips to his neck, sucking soft marks under the collar of his shirt. His bow tie was long discarded and top couple buttons released.

“Be a lot easier if you weren’t distracting me” he groans as you gently nip his skin. You chuckle lightly hearing the door unlock as the heavy wood frame creaks open. Stepping inside he kicks his shoes off and the door softly closes behind him. He carries you into the living room of the honey moon suite and you pull back turning your head.

The low flickering of the candles on every surface capturing your eye. Next you see the countless bouquets of flowers, your favourite flowers, scattered around the room. He lets you take it in for a few minutes before bringing you into the bedroom. There is a selection of chocolate covered strawberries and other fruit with champagne waiting on the dresser. A rose petal heart on the bed and he quickly drops you on it, petals scattering around the white duvet.

“You do all this?” you ask softly.

“It’s the honey moon suite babe, I think they just do this” he smirks.

“Uh-huh. And the flowers? They just knew these are my favourite and brought in easily a dozen bouquets.”

“Thirty one” he corrects crawling over to you. “They did the candles, champagne and stuff but I may have called the florist last week about the flowers. For the record they would like more than a weeks’ notice to fulfill this along with the wedding bouquets, centre pieces and everything else. Might have paid a lot for these” he smirks “but you’re worth it.”

“One bouquet wasn’t enough?”

“Nope” he grins as a hand finds the back of your neck pulling you towards him. His lips brush against yours hooking an arm around your back he slowly drops you to the bed, hovering over you he closes the gap with a wide grin on his lips. You moan against him, tongue tracing along his lower lip your hands find his dress shirt grabbing a fist full of fabric. His jacket and vest being long discarded.

Your hand moves to the front of his shirt, giving it a tug to free it from his dress pants. “Someone’s eager” he groans as your fingers find the buttons of his shirt, slowly releasing them.

“I’m just excited to have sex with my husband” you grin emphasizing the word.

“Husband” he smirks against your lips “I like that.”

He pulls away rising to his knees and takes over the buttons of his shirt. He slowly pops the buttons revealing more skin, your eyes wandering over his bare chest. Dragging the fabric off his arms he discards it in a pile in the corner. Next his belt clanks against the wood floor, and he is off the bed. He pushes his pants down his legs tossing them in the pile of clothes, leaving him in just boxers.

Your eyes rake over his body, taking in every curve of his muscle. Taking a deep breaths your hips voluntarily arch up towards him. He grips your wrist pulling you onto your feet and spins you around “This dress looks amazing on you" he hums in your ear.

“Believe it or not it looks better off" you moan.

“Oh baby I know it does" his hands gently rub up and down your arms. His mouth is gently nipping the skin on your neck, his words sending an electric current straight to your core. His large fingers not in a hurry, slowly popping the button. You feel him fumble around your back struggling to undo the small buttons before dragging the zipper down your back.

His hands find your shoulders, gently pressing the straps down your skin but you step away from him. “I have something” you explain walking to the bags in the corner.

You pull out a small bag and Fred immediately knows what is waiting underneath the white tissue. “Save that for tomorrow” he pulls the handle from you dropping it on the floor.

“But I bought it for tonight” you whine.

“Baby I know you are going to look phenomenal in whatever lingerie is in that bag. But honestly I don’t want to wait for you to get changed only to have to take it off two minutes later, that’s two minutes of me not fucking you.”

He ducks his head down, warm air ghosting over your neck “and baby all I want to do tonight is fuck my wife.”

Hearing him call you that almost makes your knees buckle, heat rapidly building in your core. You too want nothing more than to feel his cock stretching you out. “I’m wearing it tomorrow night” you command.

“Look forward to it” his fingers return to your shoulders pressing the fabric down your body. A mess of blush tulle landing at your feet and you step out of it. Fred bends down to grip the back of your legs but you stop him picking up your dress to hang on the back of a chair “it’s expensive “ you shrug.

Once in front of him you push him backwards until his knees hit the bed and he slowly falls back. You drop to your knees in front of his quirking an eyebrow while your fingers toy with his elastic band. You can see the large bulge tenting his boxers making a fire ignite in your core. As you pull the fabric down he lifts his hips slightly his thick member slapping against his stomach.

Your moth waters staring at his throbbing cock, precum dripping form the tip. “Fuck” he groans as your lips wrap around him, tongue cleaning the sticky liquid from his tip.

Your tongue swipes up the vein on the underside of his shaft and his eyes practically roll into the back of his head. Soon you begin bobbing on him taking more and more each time, your hands gently stroking up his thighs.

You swirl your tongue around him, your nose pressing into his pelvis. Your eyes stay locked on his, watching as his snap shut and he takes a few uneasy breaths. Digging your freshly manicured nails into his thigh his hips buck up, tip resting against the back of your throat.

“Babe” he whispers, unable to use his full voice. Although quiet you hear but you don’t stop continuing to bob up and down on his long member.

“Fuck (Y/N)” he says more firmly as one hand begins to gently massage his balls. “You can’t do that.”

He pushes you off him, saliva dribbling down your chin and a pout crossing your face.

“Why?” you pout “I want to suck my husband’s dick.”

He swallows hard at your bluntness, eye lids fluttering. You shoot him an innocent look, squeezing your breasts together between your arms and batting your eyelids to him. Shaking his head he grips your wrist and pulls you harshly onto the bed.

You land hard on the mattress and he quickly rolls over you spreading your knees with his thick thigh. He manipulates you to raise your hips, pulling the remaining piece of fabric, thin white lace, down your legs. “Because baby I want to do this.”

You gasp loudly as two of his fingers find your folds, gently playing with your entrance. He moans feeling how wet you are, wet and full of need, waiting for him. You smile against his touch and his lips gently press into your temple.

“You’re soaked eh” he smirks sliding his two fingers over your heat, coating them in your juices. Before you can respond they part your folds and sink in. His thumb presses into your clit while his fingers begin to fuck in and out of you at a slowly building pace.

“Fred” your entire body squirms at the feeling and you hear a quiet dark chuckle against your neck. His mouth begins to place warm open mouth kisses all over your neck and chest, before finding your breasts. He licks over the orb before sliding his tongue between the valley of them before sucking on your nipple. You slide your hands over his bicep, your feather like touch making his fingers curl into your G-spot.

“I’m gonna cum” you warn feeling the slow build low in your stomach.

“That’s the whole point” he smirks increasing his pace.

“Not fair” you whine at the fact you couldn’t take him to completion but he isn’t going to stop until you do.

“Want me to stop?” he teases popping his head up to look into your eyes.

Your nails dig into his shoulders, your lower lip being pulled through your teeth. In an attempt to answer you only muster a need filled whimper and he just quirks an eyebrow in response continuing to pump his fingers in and out of you, thumb pressing harshly into your clit.

“Good” his lips land on your cheek before finding your collarbone. He nips the skin, dragging his tongue along you “this is my favourite part” he muses.

You tilt your head slightly and he pulls back, dark brown eyes finding yours. He gives you a wink and the coil in your stomach is now tightly bound. A few final thrusts, you chanting his name through breathless pants and it snaps. Pure euphoria floods your veins, toes curling as he slows slightly to draw out your orgasm.

He groans when your nails anchor hard into his back but doesn’t stop, working you through it as warmth spills down his wrist. You’re vision begins to clear, the orgasmic haze lifting. Finally he stops keeping his fingers buried deep inside you but allows your fog to settle.

“I’m so happy I get to do this every day” his lips press to the corner of your mouth “make you fall apart on my fingers,” he places a soft kiss to your jaw slowly takes his finger out of your slick heat. “With my tongue,” he moves to suck on your earlobe and you whimper slightly.

He shifts his weight and his hard member pokes at your entrance. His voice is low and husky and he only pulls away briefly “or around my cock.” A loud gasp tumbles through your lips as he easily slides inside your walls, your juices providing an easy lubricant.

Slowly pulling back he brings his lips to your ears. “The best part though” he growls in your ear “I get to do it with my wife.” His hips snap hitting your cervix in conjunction with his words. Foreheads pressed together and lips ghosting over yours as he begins to rock into you.

A loud groan falls from your lips, they vibrate in your core and your nails scrape along his back, harshly digging into his skin. He adopts a slow and steady rhythm, hitting you deep with each thrust before dragging himself out to do it again. His head drops and he places a soft kiss against your lips. Along your jaw. On your neck. On your breasts.

His mouth is everywhere and you are turning into a mess under him.

Neither of you are in a hurry, relishing in the feeling. It’s not a new experience, you under him, leg wrapped around his waist as he loves you. But tonight it’s different.

Your first time married.

 First time with your husband.

 And because of that it hits different.

 Your hands snake around his neck, tilting his head to pull him closer. His mouth quickly finds yours while you roll your hips up to meet his. He groans at your movements continuing to drive into you a hand finding your breast. He begins to gently massage your orb, rolling the nipple through his fingers his tongue swiping inside your cheeks.

You whimper into his mouth and he buries his hips against yours in response. Each thrust is deep and calculated, as he slowly drags his cock back. He almost pulls out completely but drops back into you, his tip pressing against your cervix.

He has you right where he wants you, teetering on the edge. Your heel digs into his back and you feel his lips curl upwards against you “let go for me baby” he mumbles before bringing you back in for a heated and sloppy kiss.

Soon he pulls back slightly, lips hovering above yours. Grunts and moans fill the room as you both approach your highs.

“Gå videre baby slip. jeg har dig” he coos in your ear (go ahead baby, I got you). Almost if on cue your second orgasm crashes over you. Still reeling from your first it’s intense and your entire body erupts with tiny flames. Limbs are tingling, incoherent sounds spilling from your lips.

He continues to mumble into your ear but you can’t focus on anything. His deep voice fades into the background as you shudder under him. Upon feeling your walls flutter around him Fred begins to feel his release. Giving you a final few thrusts he spills coating your insides with everything he has.

He collapses on you, his head landing on your shoulder. Coming down from your high you can feel some warm cum spilling around his cock and down the inside of your thighs. But the two of you continue to lay there, your fingers gently playing with his hair.

Finally the two of you have partially recaptured your breaths and he pushes himself off of you. Sweat is dripping from his roots glistening on his forehead but instead of pulling away me mumbles into the crook of your neck peppering kisses along your collarbone.

“I love you so much” he smiles. “My wife.”

**

“That’s a lot of food for the two of us" you laugh as Fred wheels the tray of food to beside the bed. There are plates of bacon and hash browns, scrambled eggs, a gigantic tower of pancakes and a few bowls of fruit.

You take one of the cups of coffee bringing it your lips, the faint hazelnut smell filling the air around you. Before you can take a sip there is a knock on the door.

With a soft grin he presses his lips to your temple and walks away. You sit silently trying to guess who is at the door when suddenly you hear the light pitter patter of Oliver’s feet followed by one of the twins light squeal.

You set your cup down just in time for Oliver to jump on the bed and wrap his arms around your neck as he tells you about his sleepover with Amalie last night. You help Lucas onto the bed when Fred rounds the corner with Noah and Elise tight to his chest. He quickly drops Noah onto your legs.

“My babies" you laugh pulling all three boys in for kisses on their cheeks. Fred sets Elise in the middle of the bed and begins cutting some food for the kids.

“What are you doing here?” you ask tickling Oliver. He squeals with excitement unable to capture his breath.

“We’re having breakfast” Ollie laughs.

“Figured you’d want to see them for a few hours before I whisk you away on our honeymoon. Get in some last minute snuggles" Fred explains as you release your toddler so he can take his breakfast from his dad.

Noah curls into your lap and you rest your chin on his head, holding him tight against your chest. Before you can reply Lucas climbs in beside him and you wrap your other arm around him.

“This is perfect” you say as Noah begins to whine, Lucas invading his space. Elise begins to cry and Oliver is talking a mile a minute about all the fun he had last night.

“This is perfect" Fred jokes setting the plate of food for the twins down and grabbing Elise to try and soothe her. “I can barely hear myself think" he laughs kissing her forehead bouncing her in his arms “it’s chaos.”

“Yeah but it’s our chaos” you smile pressing a soft kiss on both of your twins foreheads.

***

“(Y/N)” you hear Fred softly call out to you. “Were almost there.”

His lips press against your cheek and your eyes slowly flutter open. Reaching out he grasps your hand and helps you sit while you reach out to stretch.

You have no idea how long you’ve been on the plane, having fallen asleep but you are happy to know you will soon be getting off and can properly stretch your legs. You tried to get Fred to tell you where you’re going about twenty times, but he refused any information, not even giving you hints.

“Where are we" you push the blanket off your body as the seat rises back up. Taking the blanket from you he reaches over to grab the sun shade from the window and pulls it up “take a look.”

Excitement washes over you and you eagerly turn your head to look out. You blink a few times unsure if it’s from the sunlight flooding in, or if it’s shock unsure you are actually seeing the skyline through the glass.

“You didn’t” you gasp.

“Mhm" he hums pressing his chest against your back. Warm lips hit your neck for a soft kiss before he pulls back lips ghosting over your ear “you always said you wanted to go here, seemed like the perfect time to do it.”

You manage to pry your eyes and turn your face slightly to meet him “I can’t believe you did this" you say softly. His lips gently brush against yours “I’d do anything for my wife.”

***

Authors Note:  This is the final chapter of this series, I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for reading it, this story started as the first thing i ever wrote. And it slowly evolved into something. 

I wish I could commit to keeping it going but I have been struggling with the story the last few chapters (I always had the plan it was the getting pen to paper). So that is why I decided to end it, my original outline only had 31 chapters though so I’m glad I was able to expand on it.

[kaimelia]

fix you

a/n: hi! I received an ask a while ago asking if I wanted amelia to be pregnant in s18, and this is how I would want it to play out if she was!

also, i may not be posting for a little. my grandmother passed away yesterday, so life’s a little rough right now :( this was pre-written

------------------------

Two lines.

Two lines staring back at her, two lines that were aggressively red, two lines that she had been dreading seeing.

She'd ignored the symptoms for the longest time. Her late cycle was blamed on stress, weight gain due to the lack of care for herself, nausea stemming from how anxious she constantly felt.

It wasn't until Meredith noticed how Scout had been acting oddly and mentioned how clingy Bailey had gotten while she was pregnant with Ellis, as Scout had just finished crying after Amelia put him in his crib and put him back on her hip to calm him.

She snuck two pregnancy tests into their grocery run the next day, and maybe Meredith had seen it, but she knew not to say anything.

And now, she was on the floor of the bathroom, waiting for the results of the second stick to confirm her fear. That she was pregnant.

Having a second child had previously been hypothetical, and even the thought of it caused Amelia to feel ill. Now, she wasn't sure if she was about to puke because of the baby inside of her or because she knew about the baby inside of her.

And then, Meredith was behind her, running a hand up and down Amelia's back as Amelia heaved the little food she had forced herself to eat that morning despite how terrible she felt. "Amelia," Meredith whispered, sitting down beside her sister after she finished throwing up, "hey, you're okay." Amelia noticed how the other woman had started using her 'Mom' voice, the same one she used to comfort Ellis after she scraped her knee on the playground. She frowned. "How far along?"

"I don't know, maybe six weeks? I've only missed one period," she muttered, gripping the side of the ceramic bowl. "I can't do this, Mer; I can't bring another kid into this world." Meredith placed her hand on Amelia's shoulder and squeezed it gently.

"And you don't have to. You have options, Amelia; you're early enough that if you don't want to have this baby, it's as easy as going to a clinic and taking a pill." The neurosurgeon reached up, flushing the toilet and watching as the water swirled around. "You're hesitant."

"Link wants another kid," she muttered, staring at the water as it calmed in the bowl.

"Link hasn't been here except to pick up Scout, Amelia. You should tell him, but what he wants shouldn't dictate the decision you make."

"He wants another kid, and I don't know if he'll still love me if I don't want that, too. But I can't do it, Mer; I can't have another baby without losing myself, without compromising my sobriety or ruining everything I have; I can't do it." She leaned back against the cool ceramic of the bathtub, sighing heavily. "I have to tell him."

"You do. But, take some time to process it yourself, first. Go get some good sleep and think things through, make sure that you're completely sure of what you want, think through what you're going to tell him." The brunette nodded as her sister spoke, pushing herself off of the bathroom floor and wobbling slightly as she stood. "Maybe get some food in your body. You look like you're going to pass out." Amelia wrapped her arms over her stomach tightly. "Can I make you something?"

------------------------

"Hey, can you come inside for a minute?" Amelia muttered, pointing towards the living room behind her. "I need to talk to you." Link watched her with wide eyes, entering the house and dropping Scout's bag on the floor of the entryway, placing Scout in the pack-n-play in the room.

"What's going on?" Link asked, hesitantly sitting down on the couch across from her.

"I'm pregnant." He quickly flashed a toothy grin before shaking it away, matching the expression on her face. "And, I'm telling you because you have a right to know, but I'm not going to keep the baby."

"Do I not get a say in this?"

"It's my body. This baby would be inside of me for the next eight and a half months, and then I would be breastfeeding and recovering for god knows how long. Link," Amelia leaned forward, clasping her hands together, "I'm doing everything I can to stay sober and be a mother for Scout right now. And I'm telling you that I cannot continue to do that if I keep this baby." He pursed his lips and stared past her, nodding his head slowly as he processed and thought. Amelia watched his face as if she could see wheels turning inside of his brain. He ran a hand through his hair.

"When's the appointment?"

"A week from tomorrow," she muttered, pulling her sleeves down to cover her hands.

"Do you want me there? I can, I can drive you if you want me to hold your hand, or if you just need me to take Scout," he blinked quickly, finally meeting her eyes. "What can I do?"

"You're not upset with me?" Her eyes watered as Link moved to sit closer to her on the couch, placing his hand on her knee, his thumb rubbing soft patterns in comfort.

"No, of course not. I didn't understand why before; I thought you were just uncertain about it, but I don't want you to risk yourself or your health to have another baby, Amelia. So, so if getting an abortion is what you need to do, I'm on board." She brought her hand up to her mouth, biting at a hangnail on her finger as a tear fell from her eyes. "Why did you think I would be upset with you?"

"Things haven't been normal between us for months, and you want another kid so badly; I thought that you wouldn't love me if I didn't keep the baby," she whispered, tears falling freely from her eyes as she spoke. Link reached up and brought her hand away from her mouth, wiping her cheeks with his sleeve and holding her hand in his.

"Is it okay if I hug you?" He paused, waiting until she nodded to wrap his arms around her tightly, her head settling on his chest with a content sigh escaping his mouth. "Amelia, I love you no matter what; I don't need another baby to know that I love you and want to be with you," he kissed the top of her head. "I'm here. I will always be here."

------------------------

"Okay, heating pad, blanket, and that disgusting ice cream you love," Link whispered, handing her a carton and a spoon. Amelia smiled at him from the couch and took the lid off of the ice cream, digging her spoon in and scooping a large amount into her mouth, her eyes rolling back in enjoyment.

"Mm," she moaned, "this is the best thing ever." He shook his head in amusement.

"Can I get you anything else?"

"Sit with me?" He nodded, kicking off his shoes and sitting on the couch, gently pulling her towards him. She cringed at his touch.

"Still cramping?"

"Crampy and crappy," she muttered, spooning more ice cream into her mouth. "But sober and alive. And, I'm grateful for that."

"So am I," he whispered, placing his head on her shoulder and leaning it against her head. "Thank you for telling me why you didn't want another kid. And, I'm sorry for making you think I would be upset with you." Amelia sniffled and laid her head back.

"Thank you for being here, for putting everything aside."

"Hey, don't cry," Link laughed softly, bringing his arm around to wipe her eyes.

"My body's still trying to get rid of the hormones," she muttered, blinking away tears in her eyes that were wiped away by Link as soon as they fell down her face. "You're really comforting, even when you're mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you; I just think that we got so caught up in our lives that we forgot to be us. I forgot to check-in, and I'm pissed as hell at myself for doing that." He wiped away more tears from her eyes.

"Can we have this conversation sometime when my body isn't overwhelmed with hormones?" Link nodded and laughed gently, kissing the side of her head and adjusting his body so that she could lean back. "I'm not-I'm not just magically better now; I still need to work things through, and I need you to know that."

"I know. And whatever I can do, whether it's driving you to meetings or giving you space, just tell me. I love you, Amelia, and I want to work through this."

"I love you, too," she responded softly, shifting to lay against his body.

"Get some rest," he whispered, pulling a blanket over her body. "I'll be right here when you wake up."

[irishseeeker]

                                  i’ve been waiting for you 

Summary: Each time Kate and Anthony meet their children.

read chapter one here

---

chapter 2: kate meets edmund

It started with eggs.

Kate had always loved eggs. Since she was a young girl, she had always had eggs for breakfast with two slices of bread. She sometimes had a boiled egg as a snack or one with some lunch.

She had carried that habit through to her marriage.

Until one morning, she joined her husband at the breakfast table with her stomach growling. She had slept well the night before, Anthony had worn her out after a few rounds, and she was absolutely famished when she woke up that morning. Anthony leaned in to kiss her when she sat down and once they broke apart she reached for the eggs.

She lifted the lid off the plate and all it took was the whiff of fresh eggs that hit her nostrils, and Kate vomited onto their lovely cream carpet.

Anthony had been horrified, carrying her straight back to bed and insisting she sip water while they waited for the doctor.

Kate’s head remained in their chamber pot until the doctor arrived.

She found out she was pregnant that morning.

She had been quite oblivious to the signs-she had missed her courses, but sometimes they did not come. Her breasts had become swollen and she had started more naps than usual. She had put that down to Anthony’s lunch time execurisons to the bedroom since he had started coming home everyday during lunchtime.

Her experience with pregnancy was practically non-existent, the only exposure she had had was watching her sister in law, Daphne, carry her two children. She had watched Daphne glow throughout her pregnancies.

Kate did not feel as if she was glowing.

She felt swollen and self conscious. She also felt incredibly nauseous. As the months passed, she began to stretch in areas she didn’t think would grow, but they did.

Anthony was particularly pleased about the growth in her chest.

Her sickness did not subside for most of her pregnancy. It wasn’t reserved for the mornings like for most women, either. Her stomach could only handle plain foods with little taste.

Anthony, of course, was a hovering mess. He worried about everything and anything. If Kate was on her feet, he would try to get her to sit down. If she lifted a book off a shelf, he would come running to do it for her.

She loved her husband and she knew his actions were out of affection, but the miracle was not the child she was carrying but the fact she did not murder her husband.

When she finally went into labour, it was a terrifying relief. She wanted to meet her baby and finally not be pregnant.

Her midwife, to be blunt, was a word Anthony had taught her-a bastard.

She had spent a considerable amount of time from the moment she arrived not focusing on Kate but insisting Anthony leave the room.

It may not be considered the proper thing for a man to witness birth, but Kate often wondered if the reasoning for it was simply because most men could not handle it.

Anthony Bridgerton was not most men.

A real man would hold his wife’s hand and support her through labor, which for Kate would go on for most of the night.

Anthony Bridgerton did exactly that.

Kate needed him. She needed her husband. From the moment she married him, her need for him had grown and scared her. He was her best friend. He was her comfort and joy. She needed him to hold her hand while she went through the worst pain of her life to bring their child into the world.

Anthony would have not left her side for anything.

There had been a particular afternoon, at around seven months pregnant, where Kate had joined Violet, Mary and Daphne for tea. The three women, having experienced child birth, were not shy with the details.

Kate had managed to keep her composure until she arrived home to Bridgerton House.

It had taken one look from her husband and for him to ask if she was alright for Kate to completely fall apart.

Kate had sobbed for hours. She had been completely distraught. All of her fears slipped out of her like a confession. She didn’t think she would be a good mother. She didn’t want to let Anthony and their baby down. She was terrified of giving birth and the things Violet, Daphne and Mary had said had horrified her. What if she couldn't do it?

She had said all of this to her husband. Anthony had held her for hours, rubbing her back and whispering soothing words into her ear. When she felt sick, he was her cure. He managed to calm her down eventually, running her a hot bath and sliding in with her. He helped her catch her breath, to breathe in and out with her as the warm water slowly calmed her.

They had come a long way in their relationship, learning to be more open and honest about their fears. Anthony still struggled with his mortality and his own fears of fatherhood and he had told her that night as well. He had made Kate's fears feel valid. He had made her feel safe. That she wasn't crazy.

He made her feel that she could do this.

That they could do this.

Despite the fear she felt, she knew it really would be okay. They would go through it together and they would be a family.

The actual birth itself, to put it plainly with another word Anthony had taught her, hurt like a bitch.

She didn’t know how she did it but she did. She groaned and held Anthony or Mary’s hand through each pain as the minutes turned into hours.

Kate knew she was close. The intense pressure she felt and the urgent need to push, which the midwife kept instructing her to do, along with Anthony and Mary at her side, meant she was nearly there.

Her baby was nearly here.

A piercing cry tore through the air and that intense pressure had dropped, the pain still tearing through her but the midwife announced her son was here.

Her son was here.

“Oh my, is he alright?” Kate sobbed, collapsing against the pillows but her eyes did not leave her son. She was so exhausted and happy, the tears and beads of sweat making their way down her face as her son was put on her chest. He was wriggling, slightly pink and purple and he was covered in a white substance and red splotches of blood.

He was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

“Oh, Anthony. Look,” Kate whispered, her eyes tearing off her baby’s face for a second to lock eyes with her husband’s teary ones. Anthony leaned down to kiss her softly and she felt everything he was feeling. They broke apart only to stare back down at their son.

Kate squeezed Mary’s hand once Anthony held the baby, looking at the woman who had become her mother when she had lost her own so young. She owed Mary everything.

Kate woke up a few hours later to Anthony rocking their son by the window. Kate’s exhaustion had led to her sleeping through most of the night and she fell back asleep after feeding Edmund and laying with Anthony for a while. Mary returned early in the morning, fussing over Kate and making sure her daughter was recovering as well as she could.

Mary lightly dabbed Kate’s forehead with a damp cloth.

“Hi,” She whispered, letting out a mixture between a sob and laugh as Edmund let out a small yawn, his entire face scrunching up as he stretched open his tiny mouth.

Kate was still processing the fact this tiny perfect baby was hers.

The first person Anthony had fetched was her sister, Edwina, who had been waiting eagerly downstairs.

“It is indescribable, is it not?” Mary murmured, lightly brushing Kate’s hair behind her ears. “The love you have for your children.”

“Oh Kate,” Edwina gasped, covering her gaping mouth as she carefully sat on the edge of the bed. “He is wonderful. You did amazing.” She pressed a kiss to her sister’s forehead.

They eventually left Kate to rest and Kate lay there in their bed, for the first time, completely alone with her son.

Her son.

She pulled her knees towards her chest as much as she could, still feeling quite sore everywhere. She carefully lay Edmund on her knees, taking his tiny hands in hers.

This had been the person who had kept her company the last nine months. Whenever Anthony had to work, or she could not sleep, Edmund had been there. He usually had been keeping her awake. It seemed bizarre but Kate stared at his tiny little face with his bright blue eyes, she felt like she already knew him. She had talked to him a lot, poking her bump and he would kick her back.

She was looking at her and Anthony. His round nose was all her, it was her father’s nose that Kate had inherited. Her heart panged for her father, who would never meet Anthony, who would never meet Edmund or any of their future children.

He was named after two great men and Kate would never forget the look on Anthony’s face when she suggested the name Edmund Benedict Bridgerton.

Benedict had become a good friend to Kate, he had kept her company and taught her to paint through her confinement with her broken leg and limited mobility during pregnancy.

“You are absolutely wonderful,” She murmured, pressing a kiss to his little fingers. They were so adorable and tiny. “We love you so much.”

“I know you have already been acquainted, but let me tell you more about your father,” Kate whispered, her eyes darting to Anthony’s heavily snoring figure beside her. “We are so lucky, you and I. He is….he is everything, sweetheart. He is kind, caring, funny, incredibly arrogant-but absolutely perfect in every conceivable way. As are you,” Kate whispered, leaning forward to press a kiss to her son’s cheek. “We might keep the perfect part to ourselves. We can’t inflate your father’s ego much more, it’ll explode.”

She could not take her eyes off him.

Her perfect baby boy.

Edmund was so tiny for making Kate so large. She had been rather self conscious during her pregnancy, and when she had eventually expressed her fears to Anthony, he had spent every day putting in extra effort to tell her how gorgeous she was.

Then he would use his tongue, fingers and hips to show her.

What a man.

The door opened slowly and Anthony appeared, smiling softly at Kate as he closed the door behind him and joined her on the bed.

Kate insisted Anthony needed to rest which her stubborn husband finally agreed to, leaving Kate and Edmund with Mary and Edwina.

He looked refreshed despite the dark bags under his eyes, similar to Kates. She knew they would be a familiar feature of theirs for the rest of their lives.

Edmund Benedict Bridgerton already had a good set of lungs.

He wrapped his arms around them, his family, pressing a kiss to her temple and bridging his hand to Edmund’s small cheek to lightly brush it. “How are you?”

“We are good,” Kate said, running her finger through the wisps of hair on the top of Edmund’s head. “I’m absolutely starving.”

Anthony turned to smile softly at her, “What do you fancy?”

Kate grinned at her husband.

“I’m dying for some eggs.”

[burberryfaerie]

If Tonks had a younger sibling Pt 4 :

Pairings : Cedric diggory x gryffindor!reader

Warnings : Angst, fluff, character death, torture, crying, swearing, a war basically, possible spelling mistakes

A/N : In case if you're asking, yes i was crying during writing this.

Tags: @loveitsonlyforthebrave ❤️

Hermione apparates you to a place called Tottenham Court Road.

“The heck is a cappuccino? Is it better than butterbeer?”

Your ring suddenly rings violently and you can't understand why?

Dolohov and Rowle rudely interrupt your thoughts.

Going to Grimmauld place knowing damn well you're being followed.

Arthur Weasley's patronus reassuring that everyone is okay.

Remus's unlikely visit.

Muggle-borns are targeted by the ministry.

Your father and best friend are targeted.

Dora's pregnant.

You'll have your own niece / nephew.

But he wants to leave her.

“Me and my family went through shit Remus, and I won't let you break my sister's heart.”

Hating Remus with every inch of you.

Because how dare he breaks Dora's heart.

Kreacher's tale.

Regulus died as a good person who lived beneath the shadows of his prejudiced family.

The locket is with umbridge.

well, fuck

You know what's fucker?

Snape is headmaster

“WHAT ABOUT MINNIE?”

“who the heck are the carrows?”

Going to the ministry after drinking polyjuice potion and morphing in your case.

"Magic is might"

Seeing 'Umbitch'

Harry stupefying umbitch.

Escaping the ministry before Yaxley gets hold of you.

Apparating to a mysterious place.

A forest apparently.

Ron's splinched.

Hermione's protection spells.

“How do you have time to learn all this stuff? Last time I checked we go to the same school,”

“Last time I checked you don't study a word.”

Taking turns in wearing the locket since you can't destroy it.

Feeling so cruel once it rests around your neck.

It's a part of voldemort's soul afterall.

Ron leaving three months later.

Crying your eyes out every night because you miss your best friend so much it hurts.

Same thing with Hermione.

“Why haven't you told him Mione?”

“Tell him what?”

“That you love him”

You give her a knowing look, she returns it with the faintest of smiles.

Going to Godric's Hollow.

Looking at the statue of Lily, James amd baby Harry with sadness and awe.

They were too young to die.

Too innocent to die.

You visit their grave.

You smiled because you suddenly felt their presence, two warm souls watching over you.

Bathilda Bagshot.

Fuck that's a snake.

Voldy is here and he was about to murder the three of you right before you apparated.

Fast forward when Ron returns.

You're so. bloody mad at him but can't help it and pull him into a hug.

“You're such an idiot, Ronald Billius Weasley.”

Hermione's so mad too but you know damn well she still loves him.

Ron and Harry telling the events of last night, first horcrux is destroyed, wohoo.

Visiting Xenophilious Lovegood.

The deathly hallows and the tale of the three brothers.

Luna's painting of you, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Ginny and her.

“She's so precious.” you think.

Xenophilious's betrayal.

Hermione wiping the fuck outta his memories.

fast forward a couple of days later.

listening to potterwatch. the norm.

lee jordan's voice

“Let's take a moment to report those deaths that the Wizarding Wireless Network  and Daily Prophet don't think important enough to mention. It is with great regret that we inform our listeners of the murders of Ted Tonks and Dirk Cresswell.”

Feeling the worst heartache you've ever felt.

feeling as if every muscle, every cell in your body stopped functioning.

“No”

he can't die.

he was always okay. he can't just die.

he's expecting a grandchild. he can't just go.

The trio rushing to hug you.

Harry not able to meet your eyes.

“I'm so sorry” Hermione sobs into your neck.

You don't cry.

You can't cry.

You just sit there, feeling emptiness.

You suddenly get up, shoving everything in your way.

Ron holding you back.

"it's okay, I'm here” he reassures you.

You letting out a heart-wrenching scream that came out from god knows where.

Thank god Hermione has protection spells.

The trio tuck you into bed, making sure you were asleep.

You slept almost instantly, dreaming of your father who speaks to you.

“I'm always here, watching over you. Don't give up sweetheart, fight for your mom, dora, Remus and Cedric.”

“How'd you know about Cedric? ”

“I knew all along” he smiled

Waking up feeling slightly better the next day.

Fast forward when the snatches caught you.

Taken to Malfoy Manor

Bellatrix torturing you and craving "traitor" on your arm.

She also tries to slit your throat.

“You know? I want to murder you so badly, so you'd end up like your mudblood father, but I'll torture you, unril you beg for mercy.”

Literally screaming throughout the whole process.

“I know about Diggory, he's quite of a traitor, but his blood is pure, he won't want a filthy half-blood traitor like you with him.”

“SHUT UP, YOU DON'T KNOW HIM, SHUT U—”

being cut of with her dagger cutting your skin.

she moves on to Hermione next while you watch helplessly.

Dobby, Harry and Ron save you two.

Apparating to shell cottage.

You spot a small, weak figure in the distance.

You try reaching out for it, but you're too weak.

You loose consciousness in Ron's arms.

Next thing you knew you were in a room, Fleur watching over you.

Learning that Dobby's lost his life.

Feeling so weak.

Remus visits.

Little Teddy is born!!!

Can't help but feel so happy and hugging Remus, forgetting about all the drama.

Harry's Teddy's godfather.

yay

Gringotts

You hide under Harry's cloak.

You get caught.

Robbing Bellatrix's vault.

Getting the horcrux and giving griphook the sword.

Aaaaaand Griphook betrays you.

Escaping on a dragon.

Basically having to head to hogwarts.

To get the horcrux.

Hogsmeade at Abeforth Dumbledore.

Ariana Dumbledore's portrait.

NEVILLLEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Him looking terrible yet dashing at the same time.

From your conversation, you concluded that the carrows and Snape are absolute assholes.

Reuniting with all your friends!

Harry goes to Ravenclaw tower with Luna.

The order is here .

Cedric spots you.

He literally just picks you up and kisses you.

infront of everyone basically.

including the adults.

feeling sorta awkward but you don't care.

“YOU ESCAPED GRINGOTTS ON A DRAGON?!! DAMN IT LOVE HOW CRAZY CAN YOU GET?!!! ”

Harry interrupts your adorable moment.

Voldemort wants Harry.

“Potter's right here! someone grab him”

yeah of course, pugface parkinson.

literally everyone jumping in to defend Harry.

The battle has started.

You seeing Dora and running to hug her.

“MY BRAVE SISTER!” she shouts.

“Once we're outta here, we're spoiling Teddy with every inch of me.”

“I kinda approve though”

Duelling multiple death eaters.

Including Dolohov, Rookwood, Rabstan Lestrange.

Saving Malfoy's arse from the flames in the room of requirement.

Going to the shrieking shack to face Voldemort.

Snape's dead.

He's acting weird all of a sudden.

Voldemort wants Harry to meet him in the forbidden forest.

The chaos has calmed down.

You enter the great hall.

Your eyes roam around the room to find the redheads huddled together, the Diggorys, somewhat crying?

You take a closer look, seeing what they're all mourning.

You shake your head in disbelief.

Remus and Dora?

Your sister?

Your soulmate?

They just had a baby.

You felt Fred and George hug you, Hermione and Ginny hugging eachother.

You kneel down.

Your world is crushing.

They're dead but they look so peaceful.

You hugged Dora.

Ever so tightly.

The last time you'll ever hug her.

You wished you can turn the clock back, to listen to to weird sisters together, to giggle behind the Malfoys back together, to annoy your mother together.

Perhaps you could've been able to save her.

You rest your head on her chest.

Muffled voices of everyone else speaking were in the background.

But you didn't care.

You let out a cry, a small one.

You let out a slightly louder one.

You felt your chest tighten, your stomach churn, you felt your eyes twitch underneath your lids.

You heard Cedric's comforting voice.

“Shhhhhh.. I got you love”

But his words are not comforting you.

You just lay there on Dora's chest.

By that, you knew your hair will never turn pink again.

You don't know how many minutes or hours had passed by.

You heard the familiar snake-like vouce of Lord Voldemort.

“Harry Potter is dead He was killed as he ran away, trying to save himself while you lay down your lives for him. We bring you his body as proof that your hero is gone. The battle is won. You have lost half of your fighters. My Death Eaters outnumber you and the Boy Who Lived is finished. There must be no more war. Anyone who continues to resist, man, woman or child, will be slaughtered, as will every member of their family. Come out of the castle, now, kneel before me, and you shall be spared. Your parents and children, your brothers and sisters will live, and be forgiven, and you will join me in the new world we shall build together.”

You slightly lift your head.

The great hall was deadly silent.

You were sure he was lying.

You slowly walked up, holding hands with Ron and Hermione, exiting the great hall.

Voldemort and his army stood and your eyes spotted Hagrid.

He was carrying someone.

It was Harry.

Your body can't lift you anymore.

Mconagall let out a terrible scream followed by yours , Ron, Ginny, Hermione and Cedric's then everyone else.

Neville standing up to Voldemort.

He- he killed the snAKE??!!!

You just watchung Neville like a proud mom.

Cahos erupts once more.

Harry's gone?

No like seriously, he's just vanished.

poof

Spotting Cedric taking over three death eaters all at once.

Just being so proud of him.

You duelling Rodolphus Lestrange.

Took over him (as you should)

Moving to Bellatrix Lestrange.

Duelling her with Hermione, Luna and Ginny.

Bitch just aimed a killing curse at Ginny??!

About to make your move but-

“Not my daughter you bitch”

literally internally screaming because MOLLY WEASLEY DID NOT JUST CUSS???

Bellatrix's downfall.

Just felt a bit relaxed.

Voldemort is about to kill Molly but—

FUCK??

HARRY??

DID THIS MOTHERFUCKER TURN INTO A GHOST TO KILL VOLDEMORT?!!

Voldemort's downfall.

The man who everyone feared sayimg his name, just, fell down.

dead

Post-battle

You hug your mom so tight , she knew about everything.

You raising Teddy along with your mother and Harry.

You still have nightmares and trauma from the war.

But, Cedric was always there for you.

Not like he was any better, but you two comfort eachother.

Him placing soft, small kisses around your "traitor" scar after telling him about the Malfoy Manor events.

You, Harry, Ron amd Hermione gather at the burrow, just sitting there in comfortable silence, holding eachother.

Three years pass by and Cedric's on one knee, asking you to be his forever.

You frantically saying “Yes” before hugging him.

You were now an auror, just like Dora.

The wedding was so simple.

You had Hermione, Ginny and Luna as your bridesmaids.

Looking at the empty seats made especially for your father, Remus, Dora and Sirius.

Saying "I do" before leaning in and kissing him.

And for the first time in three years, your hair turned pink again.

[chickensarentcheap]

Never Gonna Be Alone- Chapter 58

Title: Scared.

Warnings: angst, profanity

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @tragiclyhip, @miss-smutty, @ocfairygodmother, @ocappreciation​

Link on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28860450/chapters/80937475

She finds him in the kitchen. Standing in front of the coffee bar in a pair of Under Armour sweats that sit impossibly low on his hips and his hair and the back of his shirt visibly dampened by sweat. She’d been stirred awake by the profound need to vomit; morning sickness hitting her hard and quick and finding her throwing off the comforter and rushing for the washroom. For forty minutes she’d stayed there; on her knees in front of the toilet with her cheek resting on the cold porcelain of the lid. It had taken longer than normal for the nausea to pass; accompanied by profuse sweating and the horrific dizziness. And she’d just begun to return to normal and had been in the process of splashing cold water on her face and brushing her teeth when she’d heard the front door click open. When he hadn’t come upstairs, she’d gone in search of him, shoving her feet into a pair of slippers and one of his hoodies.

“What are you doing up so early?” Tyler inquires, when she wraps her arms around him from behind. “ Not like you to be up before the kids.”

“Woke up to an empty bed. Thought I’d come down and check on you.” Her hands slid around to his stomach and slip up to his chest; lingering briefly on broad, hard muscle before retreating to his hips once more. She rests her forehead against his back; enjoying his familiar scent -mixed with the slight tinge of perspiration- that clings to the slightly dampened cotton of his t-shirt. “You worked out? Already?”

“And went for a run.”

“Must have been pretty damn early when you got up.”

“Still dark out. Tried to fall back asleep and when that wasn’t happening, decided to get up and start the day. I didn’t want to wake you up; all the tossing and turning I was doing.”

“Are you feeling alright?” Her hands move to his shoulders, gently kneading the muscles as she presses a kiss to the middle of his back. “ You’ve been getting up crazy early every day for a week now. Don’t you think maybe you’re going a little too hard? With the heavy lifting and the running and…”

“My body feels fine. Couple extra aches and pains and some stiffness, but nothing major. Nothing I can’t handle. I’ve felt worse, that’s for sure.”

“I just don’t want you pushing it, okay? Don’t go past what your body will let you do. I know sometimes you get really into it and you’re in a zone and it’s really hard to stop, but…”

“Didn’t we talk about this?” He turns to face her; leaning back against the countertop as the coffee brews and the kettle boils. “A week and a bit ago? About me not pushing the limits? I said I’d listen to my body. And I am.”

“I just worry. I know what you can be like; when you really start going hardcore with things. I mean, I get that you feel like you need to be bigger…”

“I WANT to be bigger. I don’t feel I need to be. We talked about this.”

“I know, and I’m just reminding you that your skills and your ability to keep us safe? They are not tied to how big you are. I just want you to realize that, okay? Before you totally start busting your ass because you think one has everything to do with the other. It doesn’t. At all. And I don’t want you forcing yourself to get bigger and hurting yourself and…”

“Esme…” He smooths her hair away from her cheeks; looping wayward strands behind her ears and then cradling her face in her palms. “...I’m fine. I’m just trying to maintain. That’s it. You know how hard that’s been; trying to keep weight and muscle on. Ever since...well, you know.”

“I do know. It’s been a challenge; getting back to where you were and staying that way. And I am totally onboard with that; you maintaining how you are right now. Because it’s the healthiest you’ve been. In years. I just don’t want you feeling that you need to be different. Bigger. I don’t want you thinking I want you to be that way.”

“I don’t think that. I’ve never thought that. I know you don’t give a shit; big, small, muscles, no muscles. I know none of that matters to you.”

“It’s not that it doesn’t matter. It does, in a way. Because I want you to be the healthiest you can be. But I love you ALL ways. Your size means nothing to me.”

A grin plays on his lips. “We’re talking over all size and not below the waist, yeah? Because I seem to recall you saying...many times...how much you enjoy the fact I have a huge…”

“You just HAD to go there. You just had to turn around and make this weird. You damn well know what I was talking about.”

“I make it weird when I start to get uncomfortable. You should know that by now. It’s only been twelve years and…” he consults his watch. “...one month…”

“And thirteen days,” she finishes. “What? I keep track too, you know. You’re not the only sappy one in this house. And why DO you get uncomfortable? Shouldn’t YOU know by now that you don’t have a reason to get like that? That I’m the last person you should be that way with.”

“I do know all that.” Pushing his hands through her hair, he allows the dark, silky stresses to slip between his fingers; palms skimming over her shoulders and down her upper arms before sliding around to the small of her back. “ Just sometimes I can’t help it. Guess it’s just years of being that way with other people. Sometimes the past comes back. No matter how far I feel I’ve gotten away from it. What’s the saying? Old habits die hard?”

“I was thinking more ‘you can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” she teases, then gives a yelp when he brings his palms down on her ass cheeks in a ringing slap. “You know, that shorter hair? How blond it looks? Totally hides all your gray. My old man doesn’t look so old anymore.”

“Fuck you, Esme.”

“I wish you would actually. The one morning I wake up really wanting it? You’re nowhere around. Sadly, I had to take matters into my own hands.”

“You didn’t.”

“I so did. I’m sorry, husband. I didn’t have a choice. You have no idea just how badly I wanted it. And when I woke up and you weren’t there…”

“You’re kidding me right now. You’re not being serious.”

“One hundred percent serious.” She gives a dramatic pout. “Sorry.”

“Why didn’t you wait until I got home?”

“I didn’t know how long you were going to be! Some things can’t wait. A pregnant woman’s hormones? They can’t wait. Sorry.”

“You’re bullshitting me right now.”

“There’s two things I for sure never lie about. Sex and orgasms. And seeing as you couldn’t give me the sex…”

“I could have given it to you when I got home. But you couldn’t wait, so…”

“I think you’re underestimating just how bad my hormones are right now. I know it’s been a while, but do you remember how bad things got? During my first trimester with Brookie and Takota?”

“Just with them? You were brutal with all of them. And with them and Millie, I couldn’t really do much about it because Dhaka kicked the ever loving shit out of me. Twice.”

“You held your own. You found ways. But let’s put it this way; combine all my pregnancies together and that’s pretty much how out of control my hormones are.”

A slow, sly grin spreads across his face. “Really? ‘Cause when you’re not pregnant, you’re pretty out there with how much you need and want. I’m older now. I don’t know if I can keep up with pregnant lady hormones.”

“Why do you think I have a whole drawer of sex toys? Take some of the strain and pressure off you.”

His eyes narrow. “Are you fucking serious right now?”

She remains stone faced for several seconds, then bursts into giggles when he scowls and attempts to step away. “I’m kidding! I’m totally kidding, babe. Totally. No!” She wraps both arms around his torso when he tries to side step her. “You’re not going anywhere! I was joking! I didn’t mean to insult you. Or your penis.”

“You hurt it’s feelings.”

“Want me to apologize to it?”

“Do you want to apologize to it?”

“Would it offend your penis even further if I said ‘not right because I’d probably puke all over it’?”

“He acknowledges that as a perfectly acceptable reason. But he also says once you’re feeling better…”

“Once it passes, I promise I’ll be very nice to him. But right now? Right now I need the penis owner to hug me.”

“I don’t know…” he chides, and wraps both arms around her much smaller, slighter frame. “...I guess I could do that.”

“You DO love me.” She perches herself on the top of his feet and curls her arms around his neck. “Although the way I’m feeling? It doesn’t feel like love.”

A palm moves to the back of her head, cradling it to his chest. “I take it you really didn’t wake up horny?”

“No. I didn’t. I woke up to puke. A lot.”

“I’m sorry, Me. That you’re feeling like shit. And for being the reason you ARE feeling that way.”

“You should be sorry. You and your penis and your talented sperm. And your stupid handsome face and your stupid blue eyes and your stupid voice. All the stupid things I can’t say no to.”

“Can’t? Or don’t want to?”

“Both,” she admits, and then giggles against him when his hand slips from the small of her back and travels down to gently squeeze an ass cheek. “I’ve never been able to say ‘no’ to you. It’s a blessing AND a curse, I swear.”

“Well, for what it’s worth…” he drops a kiss on the top of her head, then crooks a finger under her chin and tilts her face up towards him. “...I’m sorry you’re feeling like shit. And that it’s my fault you are.”

“Technically, it’s both our faults. I can’t hold you solely responsible. And I guess it’s a small price to pay; for bringing beautiful little humans into the world. If you ask me, we’re doing society a favour by sharing our genes. We make really cute kids.”

“I can’t argue with that. But is it really a surprise? We’re not exactly hideous.”

“Speak for yourself. You’re the looker in the family.”

He frowns. “I don’t know what the hell you’re seeing when you’re looking in the mirror, because when I look at you? Hideous does not come to me. You are definitely the hot one.”

“I think you underestimate just how good looking you actually are.”

“I think you overestimate how ugly you are. Wait….that did NOT sound right.”

“No, it didn’t,” Esme laughs. “But I know what you were trying to say. I think.”

“Let’s just agree that we make awesome looking kids and that it’s scientifically impossible for us to have ugly ones.”

“I can definitely agree to that.”

“And I am sorry.” Once more cradling her face in his hands, he presses a soft, brief to her lips, followed by one to her forehead. “That you’re feeling like crap. Any better now?”

“A little. I don’t feel like I should be taking up permanent residence in front of the toilet. And I meant what I said; about not caring about what you look like. And how your size has no correlation with the skills you have and the things you can do. You do know that, right?”

“I’m trying. To force myself to realize that.”

“Just be careful,” Esme pleads, as she runs her fingernails along his forearms as his hands linger against her cheeks. “Don’t over do. I don’t want you hurting yourself. I’m not nagging. I’m just worried.”

“Nothing to be worried about,” he assures her, and kisses her a final time. Much deeper and longer; fingers locking together at the base of her neck as she stands on her tiptoes and leans her body into his. “I’m fine,” he promises, and pecks the end of her nose. “If I feel like I’m pushing things, I’ll stop. I’ll even give you permission to give me a kick in the ass if you think I’m going too hard. Sound good?”

“Sounds good,” she agrees, and presses a kiss to the underside of his chin before retreating to the island and sliding onto one of the barstools.

“I’ll make you some of that tea. Maybe that’ll help. Think you can handle eating something?”

“Maybe. What are you going to make me in my delicate condition?” Reaching for the Ipad that sits on the countertop, she slides it towards her; pressing the home button to bring the screen to life and immediately checking her email.

“I’m not a rookie. I know what you can and can’t handle.”

“We’re not talking about sex, Tyler. We’re talking about feeding a horrifically nauseous pregnant woman.”

Grinning, he places a steaming mug of tea down in front of her and then drops a kiss on the top of her head. “And you say my mind is always in the gutter.”

“We don’t have seven kids and one on the way for no reason. Save to say your mind isn’t the only dirty thing you possess. Anything interesting happen while you were on your run? Anything exciting?”

“If you’re asking if I saw Mark, no, I didn’t. And it’s probably a good thing because I definitely would have killed him.”

“Not that he doesn’t deserve it, but I’m glad you didn’t see him either. Last thing I need is you in jail for the rest of your natural born life. I don’t quite feel comfortable bringing my children into that kind of environment.”

“You could always come visit me alone,” he chides, and drops a mixture of crackers onto a plate. “You know, for conjugal visits.”

“How romantic. Getting railed with a guard right outside the door. What’s more of a violation of privacy? What ruins the mood more? That or knowing one of your seven children could come running in any second?”

“For the record…” he opens the fridge and pulls out a block of marble cheese and a bag of grapes. “...my mood is never ruined.”

“That’s because when you’re in the sex zone, everything else ceases to exist. You practically forget you even have kids.”

“My dick forgets I have kids. He’s running the show. I don’t get a say in it. My brain shuts down. I just go along for the ride. And boy, can give you an awesome ride.”

Rolling her eyes, she pushes the ipad away and reaches for her mug; clasping it in both hands and blowing a stream of steady air onto it hopes of cooling it down. She watches him as she sips cautiously at her drink; noticing the way the muscles in his arms twist and bugle with even the simplest of movements. The veins more pronounced and the sleeves of his tee -once fitting with room to spare- now tight around his biceps and through the chest and shoulders. Within the past two weeks alone he’s stepped up the frequency and intensity of his workouts; no rest days and the weights much heavier and two hours in the gym now partnered with an hour run along the river. And while she admires not only the view and his consistency and commitment, it also worries her; the fallacy that his skills and his ability to protect his family are directly tied into his size. Mark’s appearance has only fed into things; turning Tyler’s need to be bigger and stronger into near obsession.

“You know…” she carefully broaches the topic once again. “....you’re built exactly like you were when we first met. And that was a good look. A VERY good look.”

“I put on that five pounds, And more. Nine in total. Doesn’t sound like much, but…” he slides the plate of food in front of her. A mixture of various crackers and cheeses and a handful of grapes; the lone breakfast she could tolerate and stomach during the beginnings of all her pregnancies. Until medication became the only thing that helped with keeping any water and liquid down. “...it’ll take a lot to maintain it.”

“Just have to keep eating like you have been,” she says, and selects a piece of cheese from the plate, nibbling at it as he moves to the coffee bar and begins preparing a mug. “You’re up to what? Five meals a day? High calorie, high protein?”

“Probably go up to seven soon. Maybe add in a few smoothies throughout the day.”

“That’s a lot, don’t you think? That’s what you were during back in Colorado; after we got back together. And you went into that whole lumberjack stage.”

“For the record, you called it that. Not me. And you didn’t complain about it at the time. You said you liked that look; me being thicker.”

“I did. I DID like it. It was a change. But things are different now.. YOU’RE different. You’ve been through a lot since then. Your BODY’S been through a lot. Not to mention you’re older. That was a long time ago. Millie wasn’t even in school full time yet.”

“So because I’m older it means I have to just let myself go? Get fat and out of shape? A dad bod? You should know that’s not me; I’m not the type to just around on my ass and not do anything. I’ve always kept in shape. Even when I was a fucking mess and living in that shack.”

“I know it’s important to you; keeping in shape and being healthy. And I’d never stop you from doing it and I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t stay with it. . I just…” she drums her fingernails against the countertop. “...it sounds like you’re going into a bulk.”

“Maybe a little bit of one,” he says with a shrug, and slides into the stool across from her; coffee mug raised to his lips as he regards her. “Why? Is that a problem?”

“No. It’s not a problem. It’s just…” Sighing, she takes a bite out of one of the crackers. “...I am trying so hard here. To navigate this as carefully as possible. Because I don’t want you thinking I’m nagging or attacking or…”

“Just say what you want to say. What are you worried about? I’m not going to lose my shit. We can have a conversation without that happening, can’t we??

“Usually. Eight times out of ten.”

“Just say what you want to say, Me. I won’t get pissed. Just say it.”

“I’m worried about you. I’m worried that Mark showing up is somehow putting it into your head that you need to be different. That you need to be bigger and stronger and…”

“I do need to be stronger.”

“You’re already strong. More muscles does not equal strength. You know that better than anyone. You’re the gym lover, right? You know more about this stuff than I do. Muscle mass does not equal physical power. Look how strong you were in Dhaka. The first time around. You were built EXACTLY like you are now. Look at the things you were able to do. Especially in that apartment. You were there all by yourself and you had to take down all those guys on your own.”

“I was armed.”

“Until you weren’t. Then you had to rely on your physicality, right? You didn’t have a choice. You had to trust in your skills and the strength you had. And it worked out really well, don’t you think? You got rid of all of them and got Ovi out of there.”

“That was all skill, Esme. Not strength.”

“It was a mix of BOTH. You were strong, Tyler. You were insanely strong. I saw what you were capable of. And you were built exactly the same way you are now. So if you didn’t need to be bigger and bulkier then…”

“I was also younger than. Almost thirteen years younger.”

“And at the risk of pissing you off, you were also an alcoholic and addicted to Oxy-Contin. Wouldn’t those have hampered you? Made you even a little bit weaker? You’re clean and sober now. That’s all out of your system. So if you’re just as big now as you were then and you don’t have addiction issues now….”

“I’m almost fifty fucking years old. You really think I’d stand a chance in that apartment now?”

“Yeah. I do. I do think you’d stand a chance. Probably even a better chance now. Because your mind isn’t all fucked up on booze and pain meds.”

“No it’s just fucked up in other ways.”

“That has nothing to do with this. You had PTSD then, you just didn’t realize it. Or maybe you did and you were just ignoring it and self medicating yourself. Numbing everything. Tyler, you already had the problems you do now. They were already there, babe. It just took a lot of extra fucking trauma to bring them out. Do you really think you didn’t have PTSD already?”

“I’ve never thought about it.”

“You’ve always had it. You’ve had it since you were a kid. Just no one ever gave a shit to get you help for it. And then Austin got sick and…”

“We’re not talking about that. We’re not talking about him.”

“I’m just saying other things happened. And they kept piling up and piling up and it took that fucking prick Nathan to really bring everything out. Those things were always there. It just took something to bring them to the surface.”

“Yeah, it only took getting shot in the back and getting fucking tortured. Hell of a price to pay, don’t you think? To make everything come out? Some fucking psycho slicing my face open and sticking his fingers in the bullet hole in my back. Threatening to rape my wife and my little girl and kill my entire family.”

She frowns. “What are you talking about? You’ve never mentioned that before. Threatening to…”

“I remember, Esme. I remember what happened in that storage locker. Everything he did, everything he said. Everything he told me he’d do to you and the kids.”

“When did this happen? When did you start remembering all that?”

“Couple months ago.”

“A couple months?! And you’re just telling me now? Why didn’t you say something? Why would you keep that from me?”

“I didn’t want you to know. The details. I figured it was just better to keep it to myself. What good does it do? You knowing that stuff? Why should we both be fucked up because of him?”

“What? You think I wasn’t already fucked up? You think seeing you that way didn’t screw me up? I was the one that was there. In the hospital. I was the one that was there when you got out of surgery and I was the one that got you the help you needed and busted my ass to get you sent back home where you’d be more comfortable and you’d heal quicker. That was all me. You don’t think that didn’t fuck me up?”

“I’m sorry it did. I’m sorry…”

“No,” she holds her hand up in a plea for silence. “ I don’t want you to be sorry because you have nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t deserve what happened to you. It wasn’t your fault Nathan was a total fucking sociopath. But I WAS there, Tyler. I was going through it with you. Who HAS been going through it with you. And you should have told me. That you were remembering. You owed me that.”

“I don’t owe you shit, Esme.”

“Really? So everything I did and everything I went through and all the times I fought for you meant absolutely nothing? Is that what you’re saying? That that meant fuck all to you?”

“I never said that. That’s NOT what I’m saying.”

“It’s been twelve years and in some ways you’ve changed, and in some ways you’re still the same. One day you’re a totally different person and the next you’re right back to who you were. When we first met. You go right back to being that guy that put all those walls up to keep everyone out. It’s like two steps forward and a whole bunch of steps back. Why? Why do you do this? Why do you go back to being HIM?”

“Because that’s who I am. That’s who I’ve always been. You’ve just been so caught up trying to make me something I wasn’t to make yourself feel better. Had to change me right? So you could live with yourself for making the decisions you did when it came to me.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it. I didn’t change you. You wanted to change. I didn’t force you. I didn’t demand that you change for me. I didn’t hold a gun to your head and make you become a family man. I didn’t…”

“You were pregnant with my kid. What did you want me to do? Let you walk away? Take my kid with you? Did you really think I’d let you do that?”’

“Holy fuck,” she scoffs, and pushes the mug away with enough force for tea to splash over the rim. “So this is what it took, huh? Almost thirteen years for you to finally tell the fucking truth. I asked you. After Dhaka. I asked you if it was what you wanted. If I was what you wanted. And you were so fucking convincing. I bought it. When you said it was. I actually fell for it. And in the end it WAS all just a bunch of bullshit.”

“No. It wasn’t. It wasn’t bullshit. I wanted you to stay. I wanted a life with you.”

“Because I was pregnant. Because you felt it was the right thing to do. Because you were trapped.”

“I wasn’t trapped. And it wasn’t because you were pregnant. I wanted you to stay BEFORE that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that before? Why did you wait? Until I told you about Millie. Until I said I’d leave and never bother you again? Why didn’t you before that if I was what you wanted?”

“Because I almost fucking died and I was trying to heal and I was fucked up. I wasn't exactly in the right frame of mind. And maybe I was scared. Because I was feeling all the things for you. Because I’d just met you and suddenly I’m feeling shit that I’ve never felt for anyone in my entire fucking life. I went from wanting to kill myself to having something...someone...to live for. I’m sorry if I was a little fucking overwhelmed.”

“You? You were overwhelmed? I put my ass on the line on that bridge and stuck my fingers in your fucking neck! I stayed there! I stuck around and did everything I could to keep you alive! You were overwhelmed?”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have. Maybe you should have just got your ass on the helicopter and left. Like everyone else did.”

“Yeah…” she slides off the stool, and angrily shoves it against the island. “...maybe I should have. Considering you just spent the last twelve years building a life based on a FUCKING LIE!”

“That’s not what I did. That’s not true. That’s not…” he captures her by the wrist when she attempts to stomp away, fingers digging into the sensitive flesh. “...where are you going?”

“I need to be away from you. I can’t be here. In this room. With you.”

“Don’t do this. Don’t walk away. If you walk away...”

“Let go of me,” she orders, and struggles in vain to yank her hand out of his grasp. “Let go. Now.”

“I’m not letting you walk away. Not until you listen to me. Not until you…”

“I’m done listening to you. You’ve said enough, don’t you think? What do you want to do? Hurt me some more? I don’t think that’s even possible. Because what you just did….what you just said...what you just admitted to…”

“I never lied to you. Ever. Not about us. Not about you.”

“You just did! You just told me that the only reason you even had me stick around was because I was pregnant. Because you felt obligated to keep me around. Because you felt some sense of duty.”

“I never said that. That is NOT what I said.”

“I asked you!” She manages to yank her hand free, and instead of fleeing the room decides to confront him. Standing between his splayed thighs and jamming her finger into his chest as tears coarse down her face. “I asked you so many times in the past twelve years! I asked you to tell me the truth; I asked you to tell me if you only wanted me to stay because I was having Millie. How many times have I asked you that? Tell me.”

“A lot.”

“Every time you said ‘no’. You said that you asked me because you loved me and you wanted a life with me. You wanted us to be together and have a family.”

“And that’s exactly why! That’s exactly why I asked you to stay.”

“It was a fucking lie, Tyler! You said I wanted to hear. What you knew would keep me there. You never meant a fucking word of it. It was all a lie.”

���No. It wasn’t. None of that was a lie. It’s the truth. I never lied to you, Esme. Not about that. NEVER about that.”

“You just told me! You just said ‘you were pregnant with my kid, what did you want me to do?’. Those words just came out of your mouth!”

“But I didn’t mean them. I just lashed out. All I heard was you say that I haven’t changed and I was still the same and I lost it. I snapped. And unfortunately that’s what came out. But it wasn’t the truth. Everything I said to you back then….about wanting to be with you and wanting a life with you and wanting a family...THAT was the truth.”

“Twelve years. Twelve years and seven kids. And it was all built on a fucking lie.”

“No. It wasn’t. None of it was a lie. You? Us? None of that is a lie. Stop…” He once more grabs her in an attempt to keep her from leaving; fingers curling around her bicep. “...I’m not letting you walk away. Just stop.”

“Leave me alone,” she pleads. “Please. Just leave me alone. Just let me go. You need to let me go, Tyler.”

“I can’t. I can’t do that.”

“You have to. You have to let me go..”

“Esme….”

“Please,” she begs, and tries to peel his fingers away from her arm. “Please just let me go.”

He finally relents; releasing his hold on her and holding his hands up in a show of surrender. Struggling to hold back a flood of tears of his own as he watches her flee the room; heart breaking just a little bit more with every step that takes her further away from him.

******

Tyler gives her a chance to cool down. Nursing his coffee while counting down the minutes on the digital clock on the stove; time passing agonizingly slow as he fights the urge to rush upstairs and pull her into his arms and kiss her until they’re both breathless. Then drop to his knees and grovel for forgiveness. He calls Desi and asks him to come and take the kids for a couple of hours; giving very little details but letting the uncharastically frantic tone of his voice do all the talking for him. And when he finally lets himself into the master, he finds her standing at the side of their unmade bed; an open suitcase and a pile of messy clothes sitting in the midst of the rumbled and tangled sheets.

He closes the door behind him, then cautiously approaches. Resisting the urge to stand behind her and place his hands on her shoulders and instead retreated to the dresser; leaning back against it with his arms crossed over his chest and fear quickly spreading through his entire body. “What are you doing?”

Esme doesn’t look up from the task at hand. “Packing.”

“I thought you were going to leave that stuff until the night before we leave. We’ve still got four more days.”

“You’ve still got four more days. I’m leaving. Today.”

His top teeth dig painfully into his bottom lip; biting back a ‘like fuck you are’ and instead offering, “Where are you going?”

“Home. There’s seats on a flight that leaves in four hours. I’ll call Andy on the way to JFK; see if he can pick me up at the airport.”

“Andy left Australia about three hours ago. He’s flying in for the wedding, remember? Your son’s wedding.”

“Then I’ll take a cab. Or I’ll call Estelle. I’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about it.”

His palms rub at his forearms, attempting to fend off the chill of dread that travels through him. “It’s kind of hard not to. You’re my wife. You’re pregnant with my kid.”

“Just let me worry about that, okay? It’s kinda my body. Not yours.”

“What the fuck is that supposed mean?”

“It means it’s my body. I’m the one carrying this baby. Not you. I’ll take care of it.”

“Take care of it as in make sure it’s okay or take care of it as in…”

She angrily tosses a pair of jeans into the suitcase. “I would NEVER do that to you. You think that little of me? That I would do something like that?”

“No. Of course not. I just…”

“Where’s the kids?”

“Desi came and got them. Took them out for breakfast.”

“How’d you convince him to do that?”

“I told him that some shit was going down and I needed to take care of it. That I needed to bust my ass and make things right.”

“I’m surprised you were so honest. What happened? Use up all your bullshit over the past twelve years? Had nothing left to give? Must have been tiring; keeping the lie up all this time.”

“Esme, stop. I never lied to you. Not about you. Not about us. Not about our life. I’ve never lied about any of that.”

“Our whole marriage has been a lie! Every year, every month, every week, every day. Even every fucking hour.”

“You can’t tell me you actually believe that.”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore. It’s kind of hard to trust anything you hear after you’ve found out your entire life...or a huge part of it...has been nothing but bullshit..”

“None of it was bullshit. I didn’t mean what I said. Downstairs. I didn’t mean….”

She finally turns to face him; hands clutching a t-shirt. “Was any of it true? Any of the last twelve years?”

“It was all true. Every day. All of it. It was all true, Me.”

Giving a derisive snort, she tosses the garment into the suitcase. “Don’t call me that. Things were good when you started calling me that. Things were great, actually. And I loved it; that you had this little nickname for me. Don’t ruin it, okay? At least give me one thing to hold onto.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. You got seven beautiful children out of your lie, Tyler. At least something good came out of it.”

“Okay, you know what…” He finally approaches the bed, snatching the sweater out of her hands and dropping it into the suitcase; picking the latter up and angrily tossing it into the corner of the room. He’s desperate. Frantic. Needing to make that last ditch attempt to keep everything together. He won’t survive if things fall apart; at least not mentally. Losing her means he loses his entire world; the person who taught him what love TRULY is. It’s patience and it’s acceptance and it’s sacrifice and it’s sometimes painful as hell. And it tears him up inside; the thought of his world without his entire world in it. “...you’re going to listen to me. Whether you want to or not. Because I need you to hear what I’m saying. Esme…” he lays his hands on her shoulders, squeezing as hard as her body will allow him to. “Look at me. Please look at me.”

She shakes her head; chin remaining dropped to her chest.

“Please,” he begs, as his hands move to her cheeks; palms cradling her face and fingers pressing into the delicate skin as he tilts her head up towards him. “Just look at me. Don’t do this. Please don’t do this. Don’t shut me out.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

He’s never heard her voice like that before; tiny and broken and lost. The hurt that he’s dealt her has struck extremely deep; the devastation and the heartbreak profound and reaching right into her very soul. Not even in the worst of times had he seen her like this; when she’d kicked him out and they’d spent six months walking on pins and needles around each other while desperately wanting to fix things and not knowing where - or how- to begin. She’s cried many times in front of him; tears of joy and anger and frustration and fear and horrendous grief. And he’s always been able to comfort her and ease some of the pain; his arms able to give her the solace and the escape that she both craved and needed. But it’s far beyond that; no lingering embrace or stroking of hair or whisperings of love will do the trick this time. It’s him that’s caused this; the shimmer of tears in her eyes and the trembling of her body and the look of pure devastation and loss that registers on her face.

“I don’t know either,” he admits. “And I don’t even know what to say. I just know I need you to listen to me. To whatever I DO say. Can you do that? I need you to do that. Please, Esme. Just listen, okay?”

She offers a feeble nod.

“I love you. I have always loved you.”

“No. Don’t you say that. Don’t make it worse. Don’t screw things up even more by keeping up the lie. If there was ever a time for you to be honest with me…”

“I AM being honest with you. I have never...EVER...lied about this. About you. About us. About our life.”

“I asked you, Tyler. More than once. Even after you brought up getting married. I asked you if it was because you actually did want me, or if you felt obligated to be with me. Because of Millie. I ASKED you.”

“And I told you the truth. I didn’t want to get married because of the baby. If there’d never been a baby...had you not gotten pregnant...I STILL would have wanted to be with you. I wanted to get married because I loved you. In a way I’d never loved anyone. That I didn’t even think was possible.”

“So you’re saying Millie had nothing to do with it? The fact I was having your daughter?"

“I mean, yeah, she did. In a way. I wanted us to be a family. I wanted it to be you and me and our kid. Because I knew we could make something of it. Don’t you think it was some kind of sign? If Dhaka couldn’t kill us, maybe things were meant to work out.”

“So if I hadn’t been pregnant…”

“I would have still wanted to marry you. I didn’t ask you to come to Australia because of Millie. I asked you because I didn’t want to lose you. I’d just found you. I wasn’t going to just let you walk away like nothing ever happened.”

“I gave up everything for you,” she snarls. “My entire life as I knew it. I gave it all up. And for what? For you to lie to me for twelve years? To base our entire life together on bullshit?”

“That’s not what I did. I didn’t lie to you. Our life hasn’t been bullshit. What I said downstairs? I didn’t mean it. THAT was bullshit.”

“Then why did you say it? If you didn’t mean it…”

“Because I lashed out. Like I’ve always done. Because all I heard was how I’m still the same person. I’m still the guy I was when we first met. The enormous alcoholic, drug addicted fuck up.”

“That’s not what I meant. I don’t think you’re that person at all. You haven’t been him in a long time. I didn’t mean…”

“You think what I said hurt you? How do you think that made me feel? I have busted my ass to give you a life. A GOOD life. I changed everything about myself. For you. And yeah, I needed to change; I needed to get my shit together and clean myself up. For once and for all. No more slip ups, no more going back to bad habits, no more running. And that’s what I’ve been doing for the past five years! I have done whatever I could to be the man you needed. That you DESERVE.”

“You are that man. I didn’t mean to say you’re not. That’s not what I meant; that you’re the same guy you were.”

“But that’s what I heard. You weren’t the only to give things up, Esme. You’re not the only one who had to adjust to a whole new life. I know the way I was living was pretty shit, but that’s all I knew. The job, the booze, the pills, hating myself, wallowing in my own fucking self pity. Do you think it was easy for me to just stop being that way? To just give up everything I knew for something else? Something totally different?”

“No. I know it wasn’t easy. I was there. With you. We went through all of it together. We helped each other adjust. I mean, we started living together and we barely knew one another. We were having a baby yet we were still learning about each other and trying to make a life together.”

“And that was pretty fucking scary wasn’t it. Jumping into all that and not even really knowing one another.”

She nods in agreement.

“ Everything said it shouldn’t work. That it WOULDN’T work. We were both pretty messed up. Some ways it was the same, some it was different. All the cards were stacked against us. All of them. And we somehow made it...US...work.”

“We had to put the effort in,” she reasons.

“And it was hard, wasn’t it. Nothing was easy about it. We pissed each other off, we disagreed on a lot of things, we had to get used to living with another person. It was damn hard. Wasn’t it?”

“Yeah.” She finally reaches out to touch him; running her fingertips along the neckline of his t-shirt; intently focused on a single loose thread in an effort to keep her emotions in check. And he immediately feels the change in the room; the pronounced shift from having to beg and plead to save his life to having to do damage control. The tension in her body releasing; shoulders relaxed and the tears in her eyes not as prominent and the way she finds it easier to look at him.

“Do you really think if I was lying that I would have put that much work into things? That I would have given everything up for you? For US? Do you honestly think I wouldn’t have run? Like I’d run from everything else before?”

“I never thought of it that way,” she admits.

“You came into my life and turned my whole world upside down. Second I saw you on my porch, I knew that was it. That things were going to change and that there wasn’t a goddamn thing I could do to stop it from happening. And you know what? I didn’t want to. Stop it. And that alone? That should have been enough to send me running.”

“Why didn’t it? Why didn’t you run?”

“I didn’t want to.”

“It would have been so easy. All you would have had to do was tell Nik you’d take the job and then not even show up. Although, I guess that would have made no sense; you would have lost out on a pretty big pay day.”

“Honestly, the money wasn’t even the first thing on my mind. It was there, but it wasn’t the most important thing. Which is weird, considering that’s all that job ever really meant to me. The pay out.”

“So why did you show up? If the money wasn’t the most important thing…”

“I wanted to see you again. I guess I wasn’t that annoyed about it after all; Nik bringing someone there.”

She manages a small smile.

“You were different. You didn’t give a shit about where I lived or what it looked like. You didn’t seem to care about the booze all over the place and the pain meds right out in the open. You didn’t seem to notice I was huge fucking mess.”

“You weren’t a mess. You were hurt. You were holding onto a lot of things. A lot of pain. I could see it; in your eyes. I’ve always said that; you say more with your eyes than you do with your mouth. I knew it when you looked at me; when we were talking after Nik went outside. I knew that people didn’t really know you. That they didn’t really ‘see’ you. That they never took the chance or the time to.”

“You did. You took the chance.”

“I guess I realized you were different too. From everyone that I’d met while on the job. You weren’t like the rest of them. You weren’t loud and obnoxious and bragging about your kills the second I met you. I couldn’t handle it; guys proud of all the lives they’ve taken and not shy about sharing the gruesome details. They GLOATED about that stuff. And the worst part? They thought I’d be impressed by it. That I’d somehow find it attractive and throw myself at their feet.”

“Guess it’s a good thing I didn’t bring out my kill sheet right after I met you,” he chides.

“You’ve never been like that. You’ve never taken pride in what you’ve had to do. You’ve never killed because you wanted to. You killed because you had to. I guess I got that impression right away; you were quiet and soft spoken and like I said, your eyes. They gave a lot away. About who you really were.”

“And that didn’t scare you?”

“There was nothing to be scared of. You may have had your demons, but you were pretty good at keeping them contained. I knew they weren’t something I had to be worried about. You weren’t going to hurt me. You didn’t have it in you.”

“And you could tell all that just by my eyes?”

She shrugs. “You have very expressive eyes. Why did you show up, Tyler? In Fitzroy Crossing. If it wasn’t really the money…”

“Like I said, I wanted to see you again. Girls like you just show up on my doorstep. Figured that was a sign; someone like you just walking into my place like you owned it. And when you didn’t pay attention to the disaster it or I was…”

“You weren’t a disaster. If you were, I never would have gone along with Nik’s plan. I would have ran long before you did, believe me. Had it been anyone else? Any other merc? I wouldn’t have taken that job. You were different, Tyler. In a lot of ways. And especially didn’t hurt that you looked like you did.”

“You would have been really disappointed if Gaspar had still been in the game. Nik called him first.”

“I for sure would have ran. That...HIM...that would have been a ‘no’ from me. I guess I’m lucky. That you even came home that day.”

“I actually briefly considered killing myself. About half an hour before. Something told me not to.”

“I’m glad. That it did. Because if it hadn't…” she looks away, tears once again brimming in her eyes. “...we wouldn’t have any of this. This life, Our kids. Us. We wouldn’t even have existed. And I don’t know about you, but I’m glad we do.”

Smiling, he loops strands of hair behind her ear. “So am I.”

She turns her tear filled eyes back towards him. “I’m sorry, Tyler. I never meant to hurt you. When I said what I did, about you going back to who you were, I didn’t mean it the way it came out. I didn’t mean to say you WERE him. I just mean that you always go back to certain things. Like hiding stuff from me. Because you think you should protect me from it.”

“I should have told you. About Nathan. Remembering the things that happened. I don’t know why I do; revert back to keeping things from you. I guess I am trying to protect you. I guess I figured one of us was already fucked up because of what happened, why should the other one be?”

“But it’s not protecting me. When you hide stuff. It does this. It causes problems. Way more problems than what would exist if you just told me. After everything I’ve been through in the past twelve years, there’s pretty much nothing I CAN’T handle. And I was there too. Five years ago. The aftermath of it. I was the one there with you. And believe me, I’m just as fucked up as you are. Seeing you like that? Seeing you in Dhaka seven years BEFORE that? You have no idea what it’s done to me. The things that are STILL in my head. I can’t get them out of there. And I need them gone. I need them out.”

Laying a hand on the back of her head, he pulls her into his embrace. An arm wrapped tightly around her waist and her fingers tangled in her hair as she buries her face in his chest. “I’m sorry, Me. I am so fucking sorry. That you had to see what you did. That you had to do those things.”

“It’s not your fault,” she sobs. “It’s never been your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. You couldn’t have stopped what happened. I chose to stay. I couldn’t leave you there, Tyler. I couldn’t. I wasn’t leaving you on that bridge.

He attempts to gently shush her; palm moving to the middle of her back to rub in slow, soothing circles. “It’s okay. Everything’s alright now. YOU’RE alright.”

She turns her face up towards him, tears spilling down her cheeks as her entire body violently trembles. Voice terrified and frantic. “I’m not alright. At all. I am so far alright. And I need to be. I need to be alright.”

“You will be,” he assures her, and uses gentle fingertips to clear away the droplets glistening on her skin. “I’ll make sure of it. You’ll be okay. Right now, I need you to calm down. I need you to calm down and just breathe.”

“I can’t…”

“Yes you can. And you need to. For that baby. You need to settle down and breathe and…”

“I need help. I need help, Tyler. I need to get rid of this. This Dhaka stuff. In my head. I want it gone. You need to help me. Please help me.”

“I will. You know I will. As soon as we get home, I’ll call Doctor Klein and I’ll get you to see him, okay?”

She nods.

“It’s going to be okay. YOU’RE going to be okay.”

“I can’t breathe. I can’t…”

“You need to calm down. You’re thisclose to a panic attack and you need to settle down. Just breathe.”

“I CAN’T! I can’t breathe. It hurts...my chest…”

Muttering a string of profanities, he forces her to sit on the edge of the bed and then clasps her face in his hands. “Listen to me, you’re having a panic attack. I need to try and breathe, baby. Just breathe. I’m going to get you some meds, okay? You’ll be alright.”

“It really hurts...I can’t...take a breath.”

“I’ll take care of you.” He presses a kiss to her sweat slicked brow. “I’ll be right back. Just close your eyes and try to breathe. Can you do that?”

She nods.

Hurrying into the ensuite bath, he tosses open the medicine cabinet and begins violently rummaging through the contents. Various items tumbling off shelves and landing with a clatter in the sink; his own hands trembling and his chest feeling tight and uncomfortable. The blame and the guilt already screaming in his ears; silently berating himself for being the cause of not only her pain and her anger, but kick starting her ‘fight or flight’ response. Had he never said the things he had...had he never lashed out and even insinuated that he’d kept her around solely because she’d been pregnant with Millie...if he’d only…

He clutches the edge of the sink with enough force to crack his knuckles and turn his fingers white. And he drops his chin to his chest and briefly closes his eyes; forcing himself to push all of his own fears and worries and guilt and regret out of his mind. Needing to hold it together for her; be the shoulder to cry and the steadfast support and ‘the rock’ that she needs him to be. And when the sobbing and the gasping for air in the next room becomes even louder and incessant, he locates the bottle of anti-anxiety meds and asthma inhaler -prescribed to her for such events- and rushes back into the bedroom.

“It’s alright now,” he attempts to comfort her, and drops to a knee in front of her and shakes the inhaler before popping the cap off. “Here….take this...take it…”

Her hand covers his as he holds the device to her lips and she inhales shakily when he administers the dose.

“You need to take some meds, okay?” His hands tremble as he fights to open the bottle. “Just a couple. They’ll help. They work quick.”

“Something’s wrong.”

“Yeah, you're having an anxiety attack. You’ll be okay. Just…”

“No!” she interjects, and when she grabs his arm it’s with enough force that her nails cut into his flesh. “Something’s wrong. With the baby.”

The invisible vice tightens around his lungs. “What?”

“Something’s wrong, Tyler.” Her face contorts with pain, her other hand clutching at her stomach. “Something’s really wrong. With the baby.”

“Okay we’ll get you to the hospital and we’ll get you checked out. We’ll get you looked and the baby looked at…”

He doesn’t get the chance to finish the sentence; both of her palms now covering her stomach as she cries out in agony.

[reignpink]

The Night After

I slowly lift Cardan’s arm off me and gently place it on the bed as I slide off of it. I quietly walk out of our bedroom and into the parlor. I take a seat on a sofa that’s facing the window and stare out at the sky, passively watching the sun rise. I should be sleeping but I can’t despite being exhausted due to the last couple of days. The soft rays of light that emerge, bounce off objects in the room around me. I turn around and see the twin crowns glowing under the light. I get up and take my crown in my hands, the weight still surprising me slightly. I run my fingers over it gently, it was beautiful but most importantly it was mine. Just like Elfhame. After all that has happened, I am here with a crown in my hands as The High Queen and wife to none other than Cardan Greenbriar. 

“Come back to bed Jude.” Cardan whispers from behind me as he wraps his arms around my waist and rests his head in the nudge of my neck.

Speak of the devil. “I will be back soon. Go on without me.” 

“Annoyingly I cannot sleep without you,” He mutters as he presses a small kiss on my neck. “So tell me what is keeping you up.” 

I gently place my crown back on the mantle next to Cardan’s. “My body is still running on the adrenaline from today’s events.” 

Cardan nods, “Let’s sit down.” He says taking my hand and guiding us back to the sofa I was previously sitting on. I lay my head on his shoulder and I feel him run his hands through my hair. “You have made to be an excellent Queen. I haven’t the chance to tell you but your punishments from the coronation were very clever and I am thoroughly impressed.”

“Thank you.” I reply softly. I don’t question the decisions I made earlier, I know they were made in the best interest of our rule for the kingdom. The people must know we can show mercy when possible but be harsh when necessary.

Before I can react Cardan flips us to where I am laying back on the couch and he’s hovering over me. I feel a small smile spread on my lips as he smirks down at me. I brush the hair from his eyes as I feel his tail grazing my legs. Sometimes when I look at Cardan, I’m still surprised at what I see. He was once as cruel and sharp as the spikes on his crown. 

“Did I tell how hideous you looked today.” He began his eyes twinkling as they searched mine. 

“No, tell me.”

“I cannot because you looked ravishing.” 

I laughed lightly before pulling him down to kiss me. Cardan returned the kiss full force then slowly started to kiss down the side of my face to my neck. I sucked in a breath. “Especially when you were crowned, I wanted to pull you away and fuck you with nothing but it on.” He says into my ear. His breath heavy and his hands were trailing further down my body. 

“Let’s get back to bed Jude and burn the remainder of this adrenaline out of you.” 

“Let’s.” I respond.

My eyes open the next morning to Cardan’s face close to mine. Our legs were intertwined under the sheets and his arm was draped over my naked body, holding me close. I lift my hand and softly push the raven black hair out of his face. I almost want to laugh. This once cruel creature who used to make my life a living hell now shares my bed and I am it’s wife no less. Wife. I despise to admit the flutter I get in my stomach when he addresses me as such. 

“Hello my darling Jude.” Cardan mutters with his eyes still closed. 

“Hello Cardan.” 

“Today will be your first official day as High Queen, are you ready.”

He is right. I have ruled as Queen for a while now but the coronation and faerie people’s blessing have solidified my standing. 

“I’m ready.” I assure him.

“I believe you are as well.” He says finally opening his eyes and sending me one of his small boyish smiles. “I have something to show you, a little first day gift.”

My brows furrow as I watch him jump out of bed squat down pulling a box that was wrapped and bowed from underneath the bed.

“Open it.” He commands laying the wrapped gift in front of me. I quickly sit up and lift the box judging its weight. Whatever’s inside isn’t light but does seem pretty firm. I slowly untie the bow and lift the lid. I run my hands over the white fluffy object then carefully pull it out. It’s a robe— wait two robes. I glance up at Cardan whose face is patiently waiting for my reaction. I flip over the robes and laugh lightly seeing the word ‘Queen’ embroidered on the front of one and ‘King’ on the other.

“I assume this one's yours.” I toss him the King robe.

“You assume correctly. Do you like the gift?” He asks while pulling his robe on.

“I didn’t know what to expect but it certainly wasn’t this.”

“So you don’t like it?”

“Oh no, I love it. Truly. Thank you.”

“I am pleased. I got the idea while at your sister’s house in the mortal word. It works perfectly with the next part of my surprise.”

I raise a brow at him, “Next part?”

“Of course! Come follow me.” Cardan holds out his hand for me to take. I shake my head, smiling at him, as I pull on the robe before climbing off the bed and taking his hand.

He leads us through our bedroom and into the foyer, stopping at a door on the opposite side.

“You can hang your robe in here.” He says before tossing open the door. I don’t stop the gasp that escapes my lips as I look around the grand room. It was a bathroom, and a beautiful one at that. I slowly walk inside, my eyes moving across the room. The tub, which  resembled a jacuzzi, was giant and could easily fit the both of us plus sum was in the corner closest to the door. A slim wall divided it from a separate shower which had a nozzle attached to the ceiling making it a rain shower. A toilet sat in the other corner. The counter had a sink on one side and a vanity on the other where a ton of products already sat. The bathroom had a black and white theme with gold accents marking all through it. It was absolutely gorgeous, I love it. I turn back towards Cardan with a giant smile on my face.

“You really did this all for me?” I ask quietly.

Cardan pushes off the door frame and walks further into the bathroom till he was right in front of me. “Who else. You deserve more than a small washroom with a bucket in it.”

I look around at the bathroom again. Try as he might've, Madoc didn’t truly understand Taryn and I’s mortal needs so the closest we had to a bathroom was a chamberpot and a tub. Then moving into the palace where nobody cared what I needed meant I definitely didn’t have a toilet, no less a full bathroom. I hadn’t even realized that I missed having one till now.

“Thank you.” I say wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him into a tight hug.

“I’m just glad you like it.” Cardan replies hugging me back just as tight.

We stay like that for a moment before he pulls back and lays a light kiss on top of my head, “I’ll leave you to get ready. Tatterfell should be arriving soon to help.”

I watch him walk out, his tail swinging behind him. I take a seat at the vanity and stare at my reflection. I look different. The person staring back at me is no longer the little girl who laid awake at night scared of this new world, or the girl sneaking around the shadows of a palace, or the girl who was too scared to tell the man who loved her that she loved him back. But a woman who stood in the face of a serpent, two paths, and won.

“A bathroom fit for a Queen.” Tatterfell says as she enters.

“And I need your help making me look like one.” Tonight the revels celebrating Cardan and I’s coronation would begin.

“I would like nothing else.”

Tatterfell draws a bath for me in my new tub. I take one quickly then allow her to help me into a deep blue lace gown. I took a seat at the vanity and Tatterfell immediately began her work on brushing through my hair before curling the bottom and braiding the top into my signature horns. Then she continues onto my makeup, keeping it light and natural but giving me a glowy look.

I slip out of my room into the hallways soon after.

---------

This mini story takes place the morning/night right after the coronation, so after they get back from Vivi’s and both go to sleep. I hope you enjoyed it! I do plan on continuing and hopefully making it a cohesive story about their lives after the ending off the book because I have always had a fascination of book characters lives once the story ends so I am going to write my interpretation of Jude and Cardan’s! And it won’t immediately be Jude getting pregnant, I want to more focus on what it looks like for Jude’s ruling, her relationship with Madoc and her finding out more about her birth mother, Jude bringing up the fact that Cardan will outlive her, Jude still digesting poison and Cardan’s thoughts on it, and plenty more ideas I don’t want to spoil. So let me know if this is something that you would actually have fun reading!

UPDATE 12/14/2020 - so I wrote some more and decided just too add it along with the rest and I think I might keep doing that or maybe wait till I have a whole chapter then I’ll post it to Archive of Our Own. Anyways did you like Cardan giving Jude a bathroom? Does it make sense? I just always thought about how Jude never had a really nice bathroom is Elfhame and how Cardan just wants the best for his queen so he gave her one. 

[coraobrien]

All this devotion washing over me

Summary: A summer heatwave hits Downton, and Sarah goes to unconventional lengths to try to cool off. But with Cora's help, things can't stay cool for long.

Wordcount: 2503

Rating: Teen

also available on AO3

The midsummer heat clawed its way through every corridor in Downton, no crack or crevice was spared from its unrelenting hold. At least the upstairs rooms could open the windows to allow the breeze to provide some sweet relief, however downstairs in the servants’ hall it was a different matter entirely. With no windows to open, and Mrs Patmore’s range fire burning merrily away to cook dinner, the air soon became stifling.

As such, as many of the servants as possible did their best to escape—the maids cleaning the upstairs rooms, the footmen sneaking away behind Carson’s back to polish the silverware out in the kitchen gardens. Even Mrs Hughes took an uncharacteristic mid-afternoon break to walk around the estate.

Miss O’Brien, however, was stubborn.

She sat, like always, at the long table, sewing up them hem of her Ladyship’s lawn dress. It had been torn last year, near the end of the season, and she’d put off mending it for one reason or another, but now she knew it would be wanted again soon, and there was no use waiting any longer to fix it. And so she sat, needle in hand, sewing steadily as sweat formed on her brow and ran down the back of her neck.

Thomas sat down beside her after grabbing two glasses of water from the kitchen.

“’ere you go,” he said, sliding one over to her. She didn’t say anything. “A thank you wouldn’t hurt.” He muttered under his breath, taking a long sip of his drink.

“What do you want? A bloody medal of honour?” she sniped back, looking up from her work to glare at him, “I’m the only one doing any work round here today, and you expect me to drop everything and bow to you for bringing me a glass of bloody water?” Thomas leant back in his chair.

“Alright, alright, no need to bite my head off, I was only trying to be nice. You’ve looked more miserable than usual all day.” He took another swig, “I can leave you alone if that’s what you’re after.” O’Brien sighed, maybe she had been a bit harsh, and shook her head. She reached for her glass and drank it down.

“No.” She set the dress down on the table, careful not to dirty it, and stood up. “Come on, let’s have a smoke.” She offered him an open packet and he took one, following her out into the yard and lighting hers and then his own.

~~~

The smoke break didn’t help. The yard reeked of the horses traipsing in and out, not even the smoke could disguise the smell, and the buildings enclosed it enough that there wasn’t even a breeze to cool them. O’Brien stomped out her cigarette butt and leant back against the doorway. Thomas had skulked away a few minutes before, leaving her alone again, and she couldn’t tell if she preferred the silence, or missed the opportunity for gossip.

Two maids edged past her through the door, back into the kitchens. “I wouldn’t want to be a ladies maid right now,” one of them said to the other, “Wearing all black in this heat? I couldn’t stand it.”

“Look at poor O’Brien, she’s as red as a beet,” the other (Maud, if O’Brien remembered correctly), giggled, and O’Brien vowed to get her back for it at some point. She frowned to herself, then lifted her hand to her face, wondering if the girl’s claim was indeed true. Her skin was hot, and no doubt deeply flushed. She wiped her hand on her skirt, she couldn’t tend to her Ladyship looking like this.

Before anyone else could see her, she turned on her heel, grabbed the dress from the dining table and marched up the many sets of stairs leading to the women’s bedrooms, darting straight into her own and closing the door. She wasted no time in unfastening her bodice, skirt, and petticoat, tossing them onto the bed haphazardly along with the dress, then stood in front of the mirror and peering at her reflection. The curls on her forehead had begun to droop, and her cheeks glowed an unsightly shade of crimson. How unfair she was forced to wear such heavy clothes all day long, whilst Lady Grantham and the girls swanned around in fine lace and linens. How cool they must feel. If her memory didn’t deceive her, she remembered that whenever her Ladyship had complained of the heat, she had never even broken a sweat.

The trunk of her Ladyship’s spare clothes beside her bed suddenly seemed all the more appealing.

She glanced around the room, then peered out of the door to make sure no one was around, before undoing the clasps of the trunk and lifting the lid. She knew every dress in there by heart, having draped them all over her Ladyship’s body at some point or another, and she searched deftly for the one she had in mind. It was older, from back when Lady Grantham had been pregnant with Sybil, since most of the newer ones would be too small for Sarah. Soon, she found it, a soft cream lace, with drape-y sleeves and a flowing hem.

She tried the skirt first, one of the hooks catching her hairpin and causing her hair to tumble out of its neat bun. She sighed, but settled the skirt about her waist and fastened all the hooks and eyes together, followed by the final button. The bodice was next, and could prove more daunting, had O’Brien not manoeuvred Lady Grantham into it many times before. A few of the smaller fastenings were difficult to reach by herself but she managed it, somehow. Already she felt much lighter than in her usual dress, and she stepped over to the mirror to see the results.

She barely recognised herself. Gone were the harsh lines and distinctive silhouette of her years of service, and in their place, well, she could almost have mistaken herself for a Lady. A small smile broke out over her lips as she pushed her hair back over her shoulder. If she let her usual ideals slip for a moment, she could even say she looked pretty.

Standing back, she brushed over the fabric of the skirt with her fingertips, turning around to twirl, watching the material flow around her until-

“O’Brien? Are you in here? I couldn’t find you downst- Oh.”

O’Brien spun around to the doorway faster than she’d ever moved in her life, her face paling instantly.

“M’lady I can explain I swear-” she spoke quickly, her eyes wide as a rabbit caught in the headlamps of a motor. Her Ladyship looked her up and down slowly, silently encouraging her to continue. “I-” her tongue, usually so adept at inventing explanations on the fly, failed her. There was no lying her way out of this one. “It was too hot.”

“It was too hot… so you decided to try on my dress?” Lady Crawley repeated, her brow furrowed. O’Brien nodded, then explained the rest of the story. By the end, her Ladyship’s lips had to quirk at the sides, betraying the suitably stern look she schooled her features into.

“Well, I must say O’Brien…” Sarah prepared herself for the incoming dressing down. “That dress rather suits you.”

“What?” she said, before she had a chance to process Lady Crawley’s words.

“I said you look beautiful O’Brien,” Cora smirked, and the anxiety in the pit of Sarah’s stomach transformed into butterflies.

“So you aren’t angry with me, M’lady?” she asked, her eyes flitting between Cora’s pale blue gaze and the lace beneath her hands.

“No, I’m not,” she spoke kindly, “Quite the contrary in fact.” She adjusted the neckline of the dress, her fingertips skimming Sarah’s collarbone, and she fought not to shiver at the contact. Since when did being touched by her Ladyship make her feel this way? Maybe it was the strange intimacy of the whole situation, Sarah wearing clothes that had once been against Cora’s own skin, with her hair flowing down her back like some princess in a fairy tale about to meet her prince. Sarah O’Brien was not a fanciful woman, but for some reason, Cora managed to make her imagination fly.

“You look much better than I ever did in it.”

“Oh no M’lady, I can’t believe that.”

Cora shook her head, then guided Sarah over to the mirror on the dressing table. “But look at yourself!” she took Sarah’s hair in one hand and twisted it up into a pouf, holding it in place. “You’re beautiful.”

Sarah felt her cheeks colour again, but this time not from the heat. Her heart pounded in her chest, and all she could focus on was Cora’s hand in her hair, and how exposed she felt under Cora’s gaze. She almost startled when Cora’s free hand came to rest on her shoulder, her fingers cool against her hot skin, under thin lace. Almost instinctively, despite it contradicting every instinct she should’ve had as a Lady’s maid, she reached up to touch Cora’s hand. A quizzical expression flittered over Cora’s face, and for a second Sarah worried she’d taken it too far, until Cora squeezed her shoulder gently.

“Beautiful,” she said again, softer, quieter than before, and much closer to Sarah’s ear. So close that if she turned her head just so, then they might- she daren’t even let herself think it. But Cora was right there, her hand holding Sarah’s hair slowly falling, brushing against the back of her neck in a way that shouldn’t feel as good as it did, and Sarah had to do something or she might explode. She swallowed.

“M’lady I-” she said, turning around, just as Cora took a step forward, leaving them both staring, wide eyed at each other, now almost pressed together. The rest of whatever Sarah planned to say died on her lips as she found herself staring directly at Cora’s, whose hands still rested on Sarah’s shoulder, her neck.

Cora traced lightly along Sarah’s cheek, tilting her head upwards slightly. “Tell me you want me to stop."

“No.”

Time seemed to slow down, the air almost crackling with tension between them. Sarah’s eyes fluttered closed as Cora leaned in, brushing their lips together, lightly enough that Sarah could pull away if she wanted. But pulling away was the last thing on her mind.

She pushed up onto her tiptoes to kiss her back, her hands settling at Cora’s waist and subtly guiding her closer. She hadn’t kissed anyone in years, a decade even, but no amount of practice could have prepared her for the experience of kissing Cora. Every nerve in her body set alight at the smallest movement of Cora’s tongue in a way that both thrilled her and somehow felt like coming home.

Cora’s lips tasted sweet against her own, and impossibly soft. The scent of her orange blossom perfume filled the air around them. Their noses bumped together, but Sarah didn’t care. The world could disintegrate around them and she wouldn’t give a damn as long as Cora kept kissing her. They separated for a moment to catch their breath. Sarah reached up to tuck a curl of hair behind Cora’s ear and smile as she felt the older woman lean into her touch.

“Cora,” Sarah sighed. Your Ladyship didn’t feel appropriate anymore, not when Cora was tracing patterns familiarly into the back of her neck, nor when her lips were still so effortlessly enticing and she was looking at Sarah with those eyes. “Do that again.”

“I thought I was the one supposed to be giving orders,” Cora teased, her pupils blown wide, as she watched her maid. Sarah leaned closer again, until Cora could feel her breath against her lips.

“Today it’s my turn.”

This time the kiss started purposefully and only became more insistent. Cora’s hands tangled in Sarah’s hair, and she gasped as Sarah gently nipped at her bottom lip. Together they stumbled towards the wall, pressing closer and closer together. Cora’s soft moans as Sarah strayed from her lips to kiss her neck filled her with warmth and such heat she hadn’t thought possible for a woman of her age. But Cora was older than her and by the looks of things she was enjoying this just as much as she was.

She wanted to scrape her teeth over the soft skin where Cora’s neck met her jaw, wanted to hear all the pretty noises it would elicit, but she knew Cora wouldn’t appreciate any marks once the haze of passion lifted, so she settled for kisses instead, littering them over every exposed inch of skin she could reach, finally capturing Cora’s lips again and melting into her.

Only when her lungs ached for air did she finally stop, breathing deeply as Cora cupped her cheek and rested her forehead against hers.

“I never knew it was supposed to feel like that,” Cora half whispered, half giggled after a long moment. Sarah nodded, her head still reeling from what had just happened.

“Had I known that’s what you wanted, I would’ve done it a long time ago,” Sarah’s voice was low as she looked up at the woman before her. Her lips were kiss-swollen and her hair had become tousled and she was the most gorgeous person Sarah had ever laid eyes upon.

The sound of a door slamming somewhere down the hallway broke them both out of their reverie.

“You should really be going,” she said quickly, “They’ll be ringing the dressing gong soon and there’ll be questions if you’re seen up here.”

“I know,” Cora moved towards the door, “I think I’ll call for you earlier though, if that’s ok with you?” Under any other circumstances, it would’ve sounded caring, but with that specific tone of voice, it sent tingles of anticipation down Sarah’s spine.

“Yes M’Lady,” she stepped forward and pressed one last kiss to Cora’s lips, savouring it for only a few seconds before breaking it. It wouldn’t do to get carried away again, no matter how much she wanted it. “I can’t wait.”

"Oh, and Sarah?" Cora was already reaching for the door knob but stopped. "You can keep the dress; I'd like to see you in it again." And with that, Cora slipped out of the door, and the servants’ corridor completely, back into the main house, leaving Sarah staring at the doorway, her mind whirling from what had occurred. She sat down on the end of her bed, blushing as she ran her hand through her hair and pushed it out of her face. Her cheeks were more flushed than before, and her skin was even hotter, but now she found she didn’t mind it. Cora always had a knack of making even the downsides of a situation somehow turn into positives. And Sarah was positive she would enjoy whatever may happen next. And, she thought to herself, maybe the hotter, the better.

[writing-reylo]

The One with The Miscommunication

Rey’s heart is pounding as her Uber pulls up to the restaurant. It’s within walking distance, but she didn’t want to risk arriving with sweat glistening in her forehead, so she spent the money. And that’s how serious she was about this; that’s how much this date meant to her. Her first date with Ben was worth spending unnecessary money so that she could look her best.

Ben Solo. Tall, built like a sky rise, so handsome he made her heart hurt. Her best friend. Her favourite person in the whole world.

She loved him so much she would risk their friendship for this opportunity to be more.

Asking him had been the most nerve-wracking thing she had ever done.

“Hey Ben, do you want to go to The Castle for dinner tonight?” She’d asked him, palms sweaty and heart racing this morning as they walked into the building they both worked in, separate companies and different floors.

They’d met when the elevator had gotten stuck a year before and had bonded over the shared trauma of being stuck twenty floors above nothing in a small metal box.

He’d smiled at her. “Of course.” She’s grinned at him as the elevator moved upwards. “I’ll see you at 7 then. It’s a date,” she’d replied, shooting him a smile as the elevator arrived at her floor.

“You can do this girl,” she whispers to herself as she looks through the glass. Ben hasn’t arrived yet but there is still ten minutes to go and Ben is chronically on time for things, while Rey feels odd if she isn’t at least a few minutes early.

She thinks about walking inside and waiting but the air is cool and despite taking the Uber, she can feel her body has developed a fine layer of sweat anyway.

She looks down at the black heels she rarely wears and wonders what he’ll think. She’d only ever worn them once where he’d seen and she had remembered the way his eyes had drifted down her legs, bare but for her cocktail dress that ended two inches above her knees.

She remembered the way his hand had twitched when he’d danced with her and realised her dress was backless as his hand had met bare flesh.

She’d wanted to kiss him that night so badly, but had lost her courage after he’d gotten into an argument with his Father that had ended with Ben drinking too much whiskey and Rey sleeping above the covers next to him to make sure he didn’t choke in his sleep.

But now, now she was ready.

She giggles under her breath, giddy and nervous, before looking up and seeing his car pull into a spot a short walk away.

She smooths down the front of her forest green sweater dress and takes a deep breath before running her tongue over her teeth, making sure none of the blood red lipstick she is wearing has transferred.

She is resisting the urge to pull up her phone camera and double check when she hears footsteps approaching.

She’s grinning widely when she looks up at him, her heart already at risk of exploding before every muscle in her body freezes.

He’s not alone.

Her smile drops so suddenly she imagines it must have looked almost comical as she takes in her best friend, in a button up the exact colour of her dress that would make her laugh under different circumstances. But she can’t laugh because he’s standing next to their friends Hux and Rose.

Her heart seizes before restarting and she can feel the fissure tears forming all over the organ.

He has invited people on their date, which has made it no longer a date.

Her heart beat once, twice and she inhaled shakily before looking up at Ben.

He was looking at her and she knew what he would be seeing. The makeup, the hair she’d painstakingly curled and brushed until it was perfect and shiny. The dress and shoes in place of her usual jeans and converse.

She watches him blink slowly as he looks at her with wide eyes that she loves so much but, in this moment, make her want to cry.

“Hi,” she says, sounding soft and timid and so unlike herself that she wishes desperately she was already inside with a drink in her hand. A large one.

“Hey,” Ben responds, and she watches as he swallows and fuck her, this is so awkward.

“Rey!” Her dearest female friend exclaims, coming forward to hug her. Rose’s pregnant belly juts out in between them and Rey finds herself, giggling as she embraces her friend, taking a few shaky breaths she knows Rose can hear.

“I didn’t realise, I’m so sorry,” Rose whispers into her hair and Rey shrugs into the hug.

They pull apart and Rey smiles at her, not the grin of before but as close as she can get with the rejection swimming around her. “How much longer until my little Goddaughter arrives?” She asks, though she knows the answer. Little Paige isn’t here yet, but Rey already loves the girl so dearly.

“Three weeks,” Hux answers with a smile. He’s become more personable in the three years she’s known him, and he no longer has resting sneer face. “Everything is ready, we’re just waiting on her now.”

“Putting that crib together almost made me cry,” Rey responds, and they all laugh, except Ben, but Rey can’t look at him just yet.

They make their way into the restaurant, Ben still silent as they hang their coats and make their way to the hostess.

“Welcome to The Castle. Do you have a reservation?” The hostess asks and Rey can feel her face redden as she responds.

“I had made a reservation for two under Niima, but I was hoping you have a free table for four?”

She can see Ben’s fists clenched beside her and ignores it while she waits for the hostess, who thankfully does have a bigger table and leads them to it.

The smell of garlic and bread permeate the air, making Rey’s stomach growl loudly.

“Holy shit Rey, you need to get that under control,” Hux responds with a laugh as they slide into the booth.

“She had to work through lunch- “

“I had to work through lunch- “

She and Ben say at the same time, looking up at one another with surprise. They each halt and lock gazes for a few moments. It’s okay, she tells herself as she looks into his warm coffee eyes, he still loves you, just not the same way you do and that’s okay.

“Jinx,” she smiles softly, breaking the silence and she watches him relax a fraction.

Rose distracts them all them, discussing the baby and Rey is eternally grateful to her friend as they order drinks.

She pushes the rejection down into the same box with all of her other hurts and closes the lid tightly, promising herself the rest of the weekend to have tequila, Thai food and The Office to mourn what never would be.

—-

She makes it through dinner hiding her wound. It still throbs but she manages to hide it beneath self-depreciating jokes and glasses of white wine to take the edge off.

Ben is quieter than normal, but Rose and Hux fulfil their duties as friends to ease the tension between the God Parents of their unborn baby.

Ben stands to go to the bathroom and Rose orders dessert and Rey finds she can breathe a little easier as he walks away.

“So, what the fudge is going on?” Hux demands to know as soon as Ben has left the room. Rey raises an eyebrow at the word fudge, and he rolls his eyes. “We’re trying to be good parents.”

“Was this supposed to be a date?” Rose asks Rey so softly that it almost makes Rey break, the tone gentle and maternal. Rey lets out a shaky breath and nods. “But Ben invited us.”

“Yeah,” Rey replies quietly.

“Oh honey, I’m sorry,” Rose whispers, wrapping an arm around her and squeezing.

“I thought we were on the same page,” Rey explains. “So, I went for it, you know? I guess we’re in different places.”

“Rey, I’m pretty sure you’re wrong,” Rose says, but before they can say anything else, Ben is back, and dessert is arriving.

He smiles at Rey softly as the waiter lowers a plate of cheesecake in front of him but then frowns when nothing in placed in front of her.

“You didn’t get dessert?” He asks, puzzled.

She shakes her head. “I’m full.”

He looks at her in bewilderment. “But you’re never full.”

She laughs and it sounds only slightly fake. “I’m not hungry, I swear.”

He drops it and everyone except Rey eats their dessert. She tries not to stare at the clock and orders her Uber before the waiter is even taking their plates.

Her Uber arrives as they’re putting their coats on and Ben speaks his longest sentence of the night. “Do you want me to give you a lift home?”

She is more than a little relieved to have an excuse. “My Uber is here.”

She thinks she sees his shoulders fall but knows she’s probably projecting as she rushes through goodbyes with Rose and Hux.

She hesitates slightly before hugging Ben and she sees him notice, frowning as his arms wrap around her. She tries not to inhale his scent, but the smell of peppermint, coffee and bergamot somehow make their way into her nostrils despite her efforts and she fights not to tighten her embrace.

It’s over in less than a few seconds but feels like forever when her arms drop.

She’s escaping into the Uber in almost no time at all, and the driver is pulling away from the curb by the time the first tear falls.

———————————————————————

In no time at all, the driver is pulling up the store at the corner of her street, wishing her a (very awkward) goodnight. She wipes her face before entering the store, taking measures and controlled breaths as she fills a cart with tequila, limes, ginger ale and all of her favourite snacks.

The owner, Maz, says nothing as she rings Rey up, taking in the tear stains on her face. “The alcohol is on me, honey,” the woman says, and Rey feels her eyes fill with tears once more.

She is able to keep a hold of herself as she walks to her building, letting herself in and taking the elevator to her floor.

She’s considering taking a shot or two to take the edge off when she looks up and sees Ben sitting with his back pressed against her door, legs stretched out in front of him. He has his phone in his hand, but he’s only turning it over and over.

Three shots then, she decides.

“Hey,” she says, and he looks up at her, eyes wide and she watches as he rushes to his feet, clearing his throat.

“Hi,” he replies softly.

“Can I get through?” She asks and he moves wordlessly, shuffling so that she can unlock her apartment door.

They both enter without saying a word and she carries her shopping to her kitchen island, dropping it, pulling out the bottle of tequila and making her way to the cupboard where she keeps her shot glasses. She takes one and Ben starts to talk but she raises a hand, meeting his eyes as she pulls the plastic from the lid, unscrews it and pours a shot.

He frowns at her as she lifts the small glass to her lips, downing the liquid and then taking a deep breath before meeting his eyes once more.

“Okay,” she says and watches as he swallows.

“It was supposed to be a date,” he says quietly, softly. She blinks slowly, before breaking eye contact and pours herself another shot. “You asked me on a date.”

“I asked you on a date,” she confirms, meeting his gaze for a tenth of a second before downing a second shot.

“You asked me on a date, and I invited our friends,” he states, and she flinches. He startles in response and takes a step forward.

The island is between them, but she takes a step back anyway. He notices.

“Sweetheart,” he says softly, and she stares at the heels still on her feet and avoids his gaze.

She hears him move closer and she looks up, her heart almost shattering at his expression.

He is looking at her like she once saw him look at a frightened dog in a shelter they volunteered at, like she was going to bolt any second. In his defence, she feels as though she might.

“Rey, I didn’t realise it was a date until I saw you,” he explains gently, taking another step forward. She takes another step backwards, her lower back pressing against her countertop. “I thought it was just another dinner, until I saw that dress. I didn’t realise it was supposed to just be you and me.”

His dark eyes are consuming as they bore into hers and she breathes unsteadily as she breaks his gaze to stare down at the bottle of tequila, wishing she’d just popped a straw into the bottle and called it a night.

He says nothing for a moment and neither can she. She isn’t sure that anything would even come out of her mouth if she did open it to speak. Her broken heart is pounding and she doesn’t know what to do.

“Rey,” he says softly and she closes her eyes, trying to hide the moisture in them, but a tear falls down her cheek anyway. She lifts a shaking hand to wipe it away.

“Rey,” he repeats, closer this time but she doesn’t open her eyes. She’s never felt like more of a coward.

She feels a warm touch on her chin. “Sweetheart look at me,” he whispers, in a soft, gentle tone she’d never heard him use before.

She opens her eyes and he’s there, so close she can feel the heat radiating from his body, can smell his minty shampoo that costs so much it had made him blush when admitting it.

He’s right there, and he’s looking at her with the softest expression on his face, his lips curved into the slightest of smiles. His hands move to cup her face, thumbs sweeping along her cheekbones.

“Rey,” he whispers, and the way he says her name threatens to break her apart for the second time tonight. “I never could have thought – I couldn’t imagine – I didn’t- “

She tries to move away but he doesn’t let her, a frustrated sound slipping from his lips. “I’m not explaining this right.”

“Ben, you don’t have to let me down gently,” she whispers hoarsely. “It’s okay if you don’t see me that way.”

He blinks and his head jerks in shock, hands twitching against her face. “See you that way?” he repeats, but it sounds like a question.

“Romantically, I mean. I’m happy to still be friends, if you’re okay with that. I don’t want to lose you from my life just because you don’t feel the way that I do.” The words hurt as they come out, but she can’t stop them or the tone of desperation that sneaks out with them. She can’t lose him.

“And how do you feel?” he asks her, in the tone she’s heard him use a hundred times before, when someone is pissing him off.

“How do I feel?”

His eyes narrow and his hands drop from her face to grab at her clenched fists. They open automatically at his touch and suddenly her hands are engulfed in his. “About me, Rey. How do you feel about me?”

There is no escape from this, she realises quickly. There is no way that he will let her avoid this conversation. Her hands tremble beneath his.

She looks at him, at the man who has become her best friend. His eyes are wide and bright, and she feels every blink a loss of their splendour. There has barely been a night in six months that she hasn’t dreamed about these eyes. They’d been the first thing she’d noticed about him the night that elevator had stopped and their gazes had locked, wide and alarmed.

“I love you, Ben” she says before she can stop herself, before she can filter it with something less permanent, something easier to take back.

He closes his eyes then, for three seconds that feel like lifetimes. She feels as though she has lived many lifetimes when he opens them again.

They are glistening with unshed tears.

“You love me?” his voice is hoarse, his breath jagged.

“Yes, but- “she isn’t able to finish, isn’t able to speak as his mouth presses against hers in a kiss her body has been waiting for for months. His mouth is soft, so incredibly gentle against her own and she cannot help the gasp that slips from her, her mouth opening beneath his.

He lets go of her hands and less than a second later they are sliding into her hair, at the exact moment his tongue is moving into her mouth, brushing expertly against her own.

She had spent long nights thinking about kissing Ben Solo, had run hundreds of scenarios of what kissing him would be like. Her most replayed had been wild, hungry. She had expected Ben to kiss her like he was starving.

The reality was Ben kissing her so carefully, his mouth sweeping against hers so intentionally, that she can feel herself starting to unravel. His tongue sweeps along hers in measured strokes that make her knees weak. He kisses her the way she once watched him eat an ice cream cone, so expertly that none had melted over his had the way that hers had. His hands are twisted in her hair and hers are tangled in his and she has never felt so alive.

He kisses her and she knows she’ll never be the same.

She had loved him before, as her friend, as her potential partner. But now, now she knew that the chemistry she had thought between them wasn’t the inferno she’d worried would set her ablaze, but instead a steady, intense heat that warmed her from the inside out. She was worried she’d be consumed by the flames, but instead, she knew that she could flourish beneath this sunlight.

He pulls her closer and she whimpers beneath his mouth, those careful kisses slowly pulling her to pieces. He pulls away then, pressing his forehead against her own as they each gasp for breath.

Her hands move from his hair to rest along his neck and she can feel his heartbeat beneath her fingertips, a pounding concerto to match her own.

He moves forward again, but instead of her lips, he kisses her cheeks, her nose, the corner of her mouth. Soft, whispers of kisses. Rey feels her eyes fill with tears once more. One falls and he kisses it away

“Rey,” he whispers, pulling back to look at her. His expression is open, happy, one he often wears when they are alone. “I love you so much, sweetheart.”

She blinks. Once, twice.

He smiles at her then, eyes alight with a tenderness that looks different than it did a moment ago, somehow.

She opens her mouth but nothing comes out and she closes it again, her thoughts a jumbled mess, trying to make sense of this new information.

I love you so much, sweetheart.

The words play over and over as he continues to watch her, smile still firmly in place.

“You love me?” she finally asks and she watches a tear fall from his right eye as he chuckles.

“I have been in love with you almost as long as I have known you,” he tells her, leaning forward to press more kisses against her skin. “Deeply, insanely, completely.”

He keeps kissing her and before she can stop herself, she can feel her lips lifting into a smile. He kisses the corners of her mouth.

“You love me even though I ruined your cashmere sweater by running it through the wash?” she asks, remembering the way he’d clenched his jaw when she’d sheepishly presented him with remains of the black mess.

“So much,” he tells her, moving his hands down to her neck, along her shoulders and down her arms until his hands are wrapped around her waist. She resists the urge to look down to see how far his giant hands reach around. She’s spent many a night wondering if his fingertips would touch at the back.

“You love me even though I threw out your suspicious smelling Vietnamese leftovers?” he asks her and her body shakes with her laughter. She’d been so mad at him.

“So much, Ben,” she says as he pulls back to smile at her. It’s both the same and different to every other smile he’s ever given her. She loves his smile, knowing that he doesn’t do it often makes her feel like she’s won something every time he gifts her with one.

“You love me even though I think red wine is abhorrent?” She remembers the look on his face when she’d spat out the sip he’d made her try all over his pristine kitchen counter.

“Even though,” he laughs, pulling her into his body, until almost all of her his pressed against him. She can feel the hardness between his legs against her stomach.

“You love me even though I didn’t realise tonight was a date and asked our friends to come? Even though I had thought for a second before realising there would be no way you’d want me like that, that maybe you did? Even though when I saw you on that sidewalk, I saw how beautiful you were and realised how much of a coward I’ve been since I realised how I felt about you?”

“You’re my favourite person in the world Ben,” she tells him softly. “There’s not a but here for me, no even thoughs. I love you as you are, for everything that you are.”

“I love you, too. For everything that you are.”

He kisses her again and for the first time in her life, Rey Niima has everything she has ever wanted.

The End.

Hey 👋🏻 it’s been a minute. Like a lot of people, TROS kinda felt like a kick in teeth for me and it’s taken me a while to get back into fic writing during COVID (I’m an essential worker, and it’s been tough). Anyway, this one was a bit long, but I hope you liked it. And I hope it made up a little for my absence ❤️

[jacklyn-flynn]

“Beautiful.” Alistair watched his very pregnant wife, his queen, the love of his life, wrap the delicate shawl he’d gotten her around her shoulders and give him that loving smile he so adored. They were in front of the Satinalia tree in their suite amid a nest of pillows and blankets. 

“It is, thank you, Ali. I love it.” Helena fingered the delicate fringe. 

“Yeah, I totally meant the shawl,” he said quietly, feigning a cough. Her soft laugh made his heart clench. Maker, he loved that woman. 

“Okay, now you can open that one I said you had to save for last.” With a wide grin, Helena handed him the gold box that had been hidden behind the tree and out of his reach. He was a notorious present-shaker. 

Like the child he was inside, he tore off the paper, tossing it over his shoulder. Setting the box on his lap, he opened the lid carefully and set it aside. Pulling off the tissue paper on the top, his brows furrowed slightly. He picked up the first thing in the box, a tiny, rose gold tiara, no bigger than a teacup saucer. One brow raised as he held it up questioningly. 

Helena gave him a knowing smile and gestured toward the box again. “Keep going.” 

Setting aside the next layer of paper, he just stared dumbly into the box. He looked up at her, blinking several times before looking back down. “Hel. Are you joking?” 

“No,” she laughed, “not in the slightest.” 

She saw his adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard and picked up the heavy cardstock nestled against a tiny, royal purple dress. His hand was shaking as he read it, lips moving slightly. He read it three times before he looked up at her again. She was caressing her stomach lovingly. 

Helena bit her lower lip, smiling with giddy excitement. “Read it out loud!” she encouraged. 

“King Alistair and Warden-Commander Helena Theirin are pleased to announce the birth of their-” he had to stop for a moment, choking up. Alistair cleared his throat and tried again. “The birth of their daughter, Rose Eleanor Theirin.” He dropped the birth announcement back in the box and looked over at her with glistening eyes. “We’re having a girl?” 

She nodded quickly, tearing up herself at his show of emotion. And the hormones. 

“How do you know?” he whispered. 

“Wynne,” Helena said simply, her own voice breaking. “I asked her to be my midwife. She arrived last week and told me. It’s been killing us both to keep it from you.”

In an instant, his face shifted to concern. He scooted closer. “She’s here this early? There are still six weeks, is something wrong?” 

Helena reached out to take his hand, squeezing. “No, love. She wanted to be close, just in case. I would tell you if something was wrong.” 

“Thank the Maker,” he breathed, surging up onto his knees to kiss her, his hand slipping around her neck. With a sigh, he broke the kiss, pressing his forehead to hers and nuzzling her nose. “When you told me you loved me, I didn’t think I would ever be happier. Then you said you would marry me. Then, against all odds, you got pregnant. Helena, you are the best thing to ever happen to me.” His whisper was reverent and cracking with emotion. She could feel tears streaming down her cheeks. “I want you to know that I will love our baby-our daughter- with all of my heart but that doesn’t mean I’ll love you any less.”

Helena let out a sound that was part laugh and part sob, sitting back to look at his face. “Oh, sweet man, I never doubted.” She kissed him again. Then again. The third kiss she didn’t break away from. She laid back slowly and he followed her down, holding himself over her with his hands planted on either side of her shoulders. Her hands slid over his shoulders and down his chest. She started to draw up his tunic and he broke the kiss, panting. 

“Is it still safe?” he murmured against her lips. 

“Yes,” she laughed, “I want you. A craving, if you will. You should know better than to get between me and a craving.” 

He gave her a crooked grin that made her stomach flip in the best way.

“What I will get between is your lovely thighs.” He raised and lowered his brows several times suggestively. He lowered his head to kiss down her neck and lick along her collarbone. “You taste so good carrying my child. I intend to enjoy it while I can.” The low timbre of his voice made her shiver, anticipation making her ache. 

Alistair parted the fluffy robe to reveal the swell of her stomach. He kissed gently, and she could feel his breath against her skin, warm and comforting. “I’m sorry, Princess. Cover your ears. Your mama is loud.”  

“You’re one to talk!” Helena exclaimed, glaring down at him from her comfortable position reclined against a mountain of pillows as he rested his chin on her bump, grinning up at her. 

“As insatiable as you’ve been, she knows, my sweet.” He kissed her stomach again, whispering, “She’s been riding me absolutely ragged.” 

“Alistair!” Helena chastised with a laugh. “Put that dirty mouth to better use.” 

“As my Queen demands.”