#i had another 3 panels planned for this but i cannot draw them for the life of me

[yesandpeeps]

Request from @forlorn-crows of Mountain being shy about his braces <3

Based on this picture :-)

[captnjacksparrow]

Hey. So when do you think Sasuke realised his true feelings for Naruto? I feel like he knew since part one itself, in some way at least. He was aware of something. When Sasuke tells Naruto his body moved on its own, I feel like there were seeds of realisation or at least a trigger point. In Shippuden, he always seems like he is fully aware of his depth of feelings for Naruto, he gets super emotional because of it. The fact that he is driven to ask Naruto again and again about his feelings, and is disappointed except for chapter 698 proves that he knew this feeling was somehow different, and he wanted understanding from Naruto, maybe to validate his own feelings, since he is equally inexperienced if not oblivious like Naruto.

He knows deep down that Naruto is special to him, he adores Naruto privately, he had since before the genin days. At the end of vote 1, I think he realises it fully, his true feelings for Naruto. What do you think?

Wonderful Ask, Anon!!! 😍😍😍. 

[[Lengthy Post ahead]]

WHEN DID SASUKE REALIZED HIS TRUE FEELINGS FOR NARUTO?

I am damn sure, like 100%, the moment he realized his true feelings is when he thought he was going to die and recollected all the memories he shared with Naruto (including the Accidental Kiss and Roasting Sakura for insulting Naruto) for one Last Time in the Land of the Waves Arc.

You might be thinking now, "What makes you so sure?"

Well, Kishimoto just hammered into our faces in many plotlines.

How is this panel has to do anything with Sasuke?, You may ask.

The answer is here.

"You will realize what you are, as death comes to embrace you".

Itachi, no matter how cold he acted before Sasuke in that battle, he simply couldn't keep up his Evil Brother act at the final moment of his death.

He just smiled. That is who Itachi really was and always will be for Sasuke.

Again, you may ask, 'All this happens much later in the series, Kishi might've had a different mindset back when he was drawing part 1'.

You are right. But Kishi's mindset was the same all the time. He even established this 'True face before Death' theme very strongly in Land of the Waves arc itself.

This is who Zabuza really was. He didn't treat Haku like a Tool. Infact, his final words were, "I wanted to go the same place as you".

Kakashi made sure to convey this message to Haku in the War Arc, when he fought with the Edo Tensei'ed Haku and Zabuza.

And there are many characters who died in this series. Almost all of them projects their true feelings before their death. Just rewind the deaths of Nagato, Yahiko, Konan, Obito, Madara. You might've noticed that there won't be any lies. For Example, Obito. When he died for the first time, he was really thinking about Kakashi and Rin. He even said, ‘I wish I could’ve spent more time with them’. That’s who Obito really was. He was convinced with that Tsukuyomi plan because he wanted to live in a dream world where Rin and Kakashi will be with him happily. 

So, a person, at their final moment thinks only about all their memories shared with that 'precious' person signifies only one thing. That person must have unconditionally loved the one they thought about.

Sasuke realized that he loves Naruto at that moment and he had no regrets because he smiled before falling into Naruto's lap.

And I always wondered, 'Why did Sasuke thought only about Naruto? Didn't he have any other good memories other than the ones he shared with Naruto?'.

Well, this goes way back when he was just 8, right after the Massacre. Yes, the chapter 698 confession. But I am not going to attach all the panels here as I will go in-depth about it later in this post.

However, there are three panels that provides the general gist of what Sasuke felt about Naruto, the whole time.

Happiness:

Whenever Sasuke watches Naruto, he reminded him of his family and it made Sasuke 'felt relieved' or 'feel warm and fuzzy'. Simply put, Naruto's presence made him happy.

And did Sasuke ever felt relieved?

Yes, he did!!

This above scene happens sometime after the massacre and yet, somehow Naruto could make him smile even in that distressful situation.

And this is one recurring feeling which Sasuke experience whenever he comes in contact with Naruto. After the Massacre, somehow Naruto became his source of happiness or relief. This panel right after massacre, that smile before his ‘supposed’ death, on seeing the Great Naruto Bridge with a relaxed smile, VoTE2  smile.....  

Sasuke smiled at all these scenes and you know the reason why!!!

Weakness:

This is exactly opposite from how he felt earlier. And this conflicting thoughts are what Sasuke was battling in his mind throughout Part 1 and Part 2 until Chapter 697. He liked Naruto's presence. But, For him, the very thought of bonding with him made him feel weak. 

According to Sasuke, the stronger he bonds with someone the more he has to worry about losing them and the very thought of losing them will put him in a precarious position which is considered as a weakness. And Sasuke doesn’t want to experience this again. 

Meaning, Sasuke doesn’t want to feel the pain of loss over someone, ever again. He wants to be the person who don’t care about anyone.

Did Sasuke ever expose his weakness?

Yes he did!!! 

This is his absolute display of weakness and this is what he always wanted to avoid. The very thought of something is going to happen to Naruto made him do something that put him under immense pain. 

Yes, In his mind, he doesn’t want to care about anyone’s loss. But his body doesn’t seem to listen to him. And that’s why his body moved on it’s own.

God!!! This made me cry!!!!

Pain:

Now, this feeling Sasuke had towards Naruto was very evident in the War Arc. That one time he sensed Naruto’s Chakra in Konoha and asked Orochimaru to hurry up. Also when Naruto was bawling after seeing countless shinobi’s deaths, Sasuke’s reaction changed from ‘I don’t care 😶’ to ‘How dare you😠’, I consider all these moments where Sasuke was bothered about Naruto . But since, I want to focus only on Pre- Land of the Waves moments, I’m not going to add those moments here.

Did Sasuke felt pain in Part 1?

Of course, he did!!!

Well, I always consider this scene as something ‘very personal’ for Sasuke. 

In this post, I’ve written about how chapter 3 is masked by the ‘Accidental Kiss’ as a comical facade but when you analyze it deeply you will find that Naruto and Sasuke’s rivalry thing goes long back, even before the series started.

After hearing Pinky’s insensitive comment, what Sasuke did here was completely extreme. He was just giving her a ‘Murder Stare’ which was way too extreme for Naruto, if he was just a teammate. When in reality, Naruto was not just his teammate. That’s why I think Sasuke was bothered by this insensitive comment and roasted her because he knew Naruto was suffering from this loneliness ever since he saw him when he was 8. And when someone made fun of his loneliness, Sasuke just couldn’t keep quiet. 

Isn’t this some form of feeling pain of the person you care about and standing up for them?

This is another scene which I don’t have to go in detail about. 

On my first watch, I always wondered, ‘Why Sasuke was making exceptions for Naruto? They just know for a very few days and yet why was he giving his lunch and standing up for him, which he doesn’t have to in the first place? It’s just 2 episodes in and Sasuke has already made 4 exceptions, why was he doing this?’

But after watching Episode 478, I came to the realization that Sasuke did all these because he knew about Naruto before the series even started. 

It’s funny that before this scene, Sasuke was giving his long-ass serious speech to Pinky about how he is an avenger, he was crying at that time, he wants to get stronger than someone and wants to kill him, he can’t waste his time here..... And yet when he saw Naruto suffering from Hunger, he just gave his lunch without minding the consequences. (Ninja Career says Hello!!!!)

Now, Let’s get back to my previous question I posed here, 

Why did Sasuke thought only about Naruto in his final moments? Didn't he have any other good memories other than the ones he shared with Naruto?

The answer is, ‘Sasuke always felt any one of the three extreme emotions such as Happiness, Weakness, Pain in the presence of Naruto. And all these 3 extremities are not something you feel for everyone unless that person shares your blood or the person you love unconditionally. Sasuke, at this point has no one that shares his blood plus the only blood relation left was the one he wants to kill. And since Sasuke thinks he is going to die, he doesn’t mind thinking about his happiest moments with the person he considers as ‘precious’ , because somehow Sasuke considers Naruto as ‘His Person’ or you can say ‘a part of himself’’

And that’s why I think Sasuke realized his true feelings just when he was about to die. 

At the end of vote 1, I think he realizes it fully, his true feelings for Naruto.

I had this same thought before, anon!!! But after multiple re-watches, I realized something else. You cannot realize your true feelings and say a painful ‘Good Bye’ at the same time.

Realizing true feelings works only in two ways,

You either say a ‘Good Bye’ to someone. After leaving that person you may realize you miss that person and eventually you may come to term with your feelings.

Or

You already have a strong feeling established in your heart and say a painful ‘Good Bye’. And VoTE 1 belongs to this category.

Simply put, Break ups and Love realization cannot happen simultaneously.

And that’s why Sasuke casually said, “To me, you’ve become my closest friend” without any hesitation. Because he already knew it otherwise obtaining Mangekyou Sharingan (MS) will not be possible if you don’t have such a strong feelings established already.

That whole battle started off as a way to obtain MS but then it changed into his desperate attempt to cut off his bond with Naruto to become stronger and only killing him can sever it because it’s such a strong one. It’s not a bond that will be severed by saying a simple, ‘Thank you’.

At this moment, Sasuke must be realizing he simply cannot cut off this bond and he is again making an exception by letting this one weakness to exist and embracing it by being closer to him for one final time.

And this is one of the hauntingly brilliant way of conveying A Connection indirectly. And the best part is... this scene is not accidental. We know Sasuke felt stinging pain in his arms and knelt down & coughed up blood. How did he end up straight above Naruto’s face?

It’s because Sasuke simply wanted to convey his unbroken bond with Naruto by deliberately leaning towards his face. Rain falls on Sasuke and all those droplets passes through Sasuke’s face and falls upon Naruto’s face or it is very possible that Sasuke might by crying and his tears might be touching his face, but either way, it creates a Connection which he couldn’t able to cut off. In the fillers, Sasuke’s sweat drop falls on Naruto. It’s almost similar to how at the end of chapter 698, both of their blood connects together to form a connection. Which means only death can separate their connection.

That’s why I feel that this is the moment where he is painfully saying his Good Bye for one last time, it pains him immensely because he already knows that leaving his ‘precious’ person who became a part of himself is not very easy added to that he hurt him so much during the battle. And for this reason, Sasuke felt ‘leaving Naruto is like ripping off half of his body’.

He knows deep down that Naruto is special to him, he adores Naruto privately, he had since before the genin days. What do you think?

Sasuke always fights this inner battle within himself. Mind Vs Heart & Body. 

His mind says, ‘No more Bonds. Just stay alone. That will save you a lot of pain’.

His body says, ‘Create Bonds. Feel Relieved’. 

When Sasuke met Naruto near the lake pier, His body wins the battle and that’s why he smiled back at him despite the trauma he went through few days earlier. This is when Naruto became special to him.

When Sasuke attempted to make friendship with Naruto. His body wins the battle and that’s why he offered food, trained along with him.

When Sasuke died for Naruto by casting away his dreams, his body moved on its own.

At the beginning of VoTE1 battle, his mind said, ‘Leave Naruto. Pursue your dreams by treading in a darker path by filling your heart with hatred’. His body said, ‘Be with Naruto. Achieve your goals by filling your heart with Love’.

By the end of VoTE1, Sasuke came to the conclusion that he really couldn’t sever his bond with Naruto, no matter how hard he tried. That’s why his body moved on its own and ended up straight above Naruto’s face for one last time. Carrying all the heart break of a painful breakup, Sasuke treads towards the darker path. For the very first time, Sasuke’s mind won the inner battle. And he was extremely saddened by it.

Throughout Shippuden, Sasuke mostly listened to his mind and whenever he does, he was seen pushing Naruto away like leaving with Orochimaru, ramming chidori through Naruto’s Shadow Clone when pursuing Itachi, promising to kill Naruto before Attacking Konoha, wanting to fight with Naruto in VoTE2.

But whenever he followed his heart, you can see scenes like Sasuke occupying Naruto’s personal space in Orochimaru hideout, Sasuke smiling at Great Naruto Bridge, asking Obito about Kyuubi (Naruto) when he joined Akatsuki, stopping his rampage on seeing Naruto’s eyes under The Bridge, asking Obito to wait and listened to Naruto under the Bridge, sensing Naruto’s chakra in Konoha and getting concerned about it, prioritize saving Naruto over everyone in the War Arc, switching off Sharingan at the last moment. These are all the moment where Sasuke’s heart was winning over his mind.

And finally at the end of VoTE2, Sasuke happily claimed, ‘I lost’, meaning, his mind which always asked him to cut the bond with Naruto lost to his Heart and Body which always wanted him to be with Naruto. And when Sasuke felt that he was unconditionally loved by Naruto who was willing to share his pain, Sasuke cried happily and finally sealed his Bond with Naruto.

But anyways, I still get this question, why do Sasuke had to battle his feelings for Naruto like a lover? And why Naruto had to act all Tsundere towards Sasuke for most of the Part 1 if only they are friends!!! Like Shikamaru was never shown to be acting tsundere towards Chouji or Naruto. Or Obito was never shown to battle his feelings towards Kakashi!!! Itachi was never shown to be obsessed about Sasuke all the time. Or Hashirama was never obsessed about Tobirama either. Like we were shown many fraternal bonds, friendly bonds throughout the series. And yet why none of those bonds fits for Naruto and Sasuke? 

Well, this post is not the right place to cover these questions and I am simply going to leave it at that. 

Sasuke realized it very early and that’s why he decided to push Naruto away by the end of Part 1. Whereas Naruto truly realized his feelings at the end of Part 1 and decided to put himself close with Sasuke in Part 2 and finally confessed in VoTE2 that, ‘Remember, you once gave me your food during the Bell Test? It’s because you simply can’t tolerate to watch me suffer before your eyes.... I also feel the same way about you.. I simply cannot see you suffer alone when you were willing to give your body to Orochimaru... It just hurt me a lot inside’.

They finally realize the feelings they had for each other is a love in a broader sense which cannot be labelled under a certain term (it may include a father, a mother, a friend, a lover too) and we can call them as Pure Soulmates, where one cannot live without the other, where one cannot bear to see the other one suffer and they always wanted to be standing next to each other sharing their happiness and pain in their hearts. 

[yaboylevi]

Shingeki no Kyojin's Ending Interview (May 2021)

Translation commissioned by @goldsword07​, DO NOT REPOST in full, always include credits and a link to this post if you use or share any parts of it.

Question: Congratulations on completing Shingeki no Kyojin’s serialization! How do you feel now that you have finished writing the final chapter?

Isayama: There’s still some work left to do when it comes to putting together the final manga volume*, so I don’t actually know how a “life without deadlines" feels like yet (laughs), but by publishing the final chapter, I feel like I can finally breathe again. However, there are still several things that need to be done.

(*Translator’s note: usually, putting together a volume includes: fixing drawing mistakes, sometimes even redrawing certain scenes if the author wasn’t satisfied with how they looked/their composition, fixing text (both wording or simply changing the Japanese characters used), drawing omake/extra pages, like the High School Caste fake previews, which usually take up 2 pages, and so on. So, of the 8 extra pages he mentions below, probably only 6 at max will be used to add new original story content.)

Q: What?! What else is there to be done?

Isayama: At first, the draft for the last page of the chapter was neatly divided into 5 panels, but I was feeling quite indecisive about it. At the time, that last page was a scene of 3 people running towards a tree on a hill. After having a meeting about that with Bakku-san and my other editors, I decided on a last-minute change, and I turned it into the one that is now published in Bessatsu Shonen Magazine. The limit for each printed chapter in Bessatsu Magazine was 51 pages, but since up to 8 extra pages can be added in manga volumes, I want to finish up everything that I couldn’t draw in the printed magazine and add it in the final manga volume.

Q: As for the serialization, which spanned 11 years and a half, have there been any changes about the way you think about mangas?

Isayama: Up until recently, I had drawn as if sexism wasn’t a thing, but when drawing the Marleyan military, which was comparatively more modern, if I had added, with no explanation whatsoever, female soldiers like I did for Paradis Island, it could’ve given the impression that Marley was quite a developed nation. It would’ve felt out of place. That’s why, as long as I was drawing a story set in an era of the past, I couldn’t draw female characters as part of the top brass of the military, because it would’ve meant acting as if there was no actual history of gender discrimination at the time.

It might be a story set in a fictitious world, but if you don’t connect it in some ways to the real world, it could end up becoming a story people cannot relate to.

Q: The unraveling of events that led to the final chapter has been quite shocking. Especially when it comes to Eren…

Isayama: I have been frenetically checking any and all reactions to that. There are as many honest opinions as there are people, and they’re all correct. With how I portrayed that part, it’s not so strange that it was interpreted as if Armin accepted the massacre. My portrayal was lacking. Armin didn’t approve of the despicable measures taken by Eren, but he ended up benefiting from the mass slaughter, regardless of his intentions. Armin, who couldn’t possibly understand Eren, faced their last farewell with a firm “Thank you for becoming a mass murderer for us”, essentially conveying how he himself was also an accomplice. He wanted to feel closer to Eren, even if just a little. I realized the final stage in particular had too difficult themes, and my portrayal was inadequate. I deeply regret that I wasn’t able to fully express them in the manga proper.

I’ve been drawing this manga for 11 years and a half, and when I completed the manuscript I truly believed that “everyone will be happy with this”. I was conceited. I apologize to those who have supported me until the end but have felt let down by the ending.

Q: During these 11 years and a half of serialization, have there been any memorable events?

Isayama: I’m happy that I could deepen the relationship with my assistants, as “manga friends”. When the serialization started, everyone was in their twenties, but now some of them are married and have even become parents, and we have become close family friends.

Q: Was the manga becoming an anime a memorable moment, too?

Isayama: The anime adaptation can certainly be considered another part of Shingeki no Kyojin. Lots of people got to know this story through watching the anime. Personally, it was refreshing for me too, as I could experience the story anew. In addition to that, the characters were taken out of my hands - in a good way - by the directors and voice actors, they began moving as independent “existences”. It was a first and interesting experience.

Q: Do you have a favorite scene?

Isayama: As far as drawings go, the scene I like the most is the one in chapter 104, “Victors”, when the Jaw Titan claws at the Attack Titan. Besides the fact that I feel like I can’t draw anything better than that, there also haven’t been that many action scenes with titans after chapter 104.

Q: Well then, what about your best chapter?

Isayama: One of them is chapter 71, “Bystander”. I feel like that chapter exceeded my abilities at the time. I like the way it doesn’t feel like “Shingeki no Kyojin”, as the spotlight was on the life of a single character who isn’t involved with the original story.

Q: Chapter 69, “Friends”, also depicts some characters’ personal life.

Isayama: I like that chapter, too! At the time of drawing its draft, I flattered myself with words such as “Uh? Aren’t I so mature?!”. Normally, I would draw the main story’s continuation, but in chapters 69 and 71’s case, it felt like I was drawing stories that were complete on their own.

Q: With the start of the Marley arc in chapter 91, “The other side of the ocean”, both titans and modern times’ weapons made an appearance in battle.

Isayama: That battle scene was the time I had the most fun while drawing mangas, I was in a state of total concentration and full energy.

Q: How has Shingeki no Kyojin been for you?

Isayama: It’s as if youth has come a bit late, a third of my life has been packed into this work. …Of course, there have been hard times, too, but it’s been a chapter of my life that normally you wouldn’t be able to experience and even now I struggle to think it was real. Although I’ve been spoiled by my readers, I had planned to draw all the while accepting even harsh opinions.

Q: Finally, a message to the readers, please!

Isayama: Through Shingeki no Kyojin, I could connect with an unfathomable number of people. I’ve been happy to share this time of my life with my readers, which is something that, if I had had a normal life, I would have never experienced.

Also, now that the serialization is over, I have been freed, so I want to stroll around a small city with a can of One Cup sake in one hand. That’s what I would call freedom.

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

Whoo boy, been a little bit. I can’t really say much besides IRL sucks, so. Back to something that doesn’t suck, which is BNHA. This chapter is dedicated to the good bean Tenya, especially his little smile which forced me to change my pfp on discord because I just couldn’t.

I was kinda planning on doing arc summaries between sections, but honestly, the BNHA wiki already has those, so if you don’t want to go back and read through all the posts I’ve done for the pre-USJ chapters, just head over there and do a skim of the summaries there, I guess?

[No. 12 - Yeah, Just Do Your Best, Iida!]

I just love how his hand gestures are actual effective tools against enemies, I cannot even. Also, a good and friendly reminder that carbonated drinks stall his engines! I have never seen that used in fanfic, whether for crack or whump purposes… a shame.

We head right into the next morning from that battle training, with the kids being held up by the media as they ask about All Might. Izuku is a bundle of nerves as he awkwardly excuses himself to the nurse’s office, Ochako is a darling who describes All Might as super muscly, and Tenya goes into a whole ass speech with a lot of fancy language to explain the honor of being at UA and learning under All Might. 

(Honestly, I find it hard to determine whether this is genuinely earnest or if he’s picked up media warding skills from his parents and older brother. It’s probably genuine, but I just love the idea behind low-key troll master Tenya who learned from the best, aka his older brother.)

Katsuki, unfortunately, is still known as ‘the kid from the sludge incident’, which I mean. I am so fucking baffled at how long the media in this have held onto that 'sludge incident' thing, like, you'd think they'd have moved on to other things by now and don't really think about it much.

It’s the same with the general public (as seen in chapter 3), like, yes, I too would have a fucking complex and anger issues if all anyone thought about in relation to me wasn't my high grades or my skill in combat or anything, but that one time a year ago where I was almost suffocated to death while the people who were supposed to save my life did fucking nothing. I mean, Katsuki has always had a complex, but This Didn't Help.

Moving on, we see the media wondering who the fuck this messy looking dude waving them off is, while Aizawa just. Fucking shoos them like they’re dogs or kids or something. His words seem like a vague attempt at being polite about shooing them, but with the hand gesture, well. Basically comes off more as a chastisement. 

...honestly, this feels so weird that no one knew about it even though the kids who got in got a message from All Might saying he’d be teaching there. The only thing I and the others can assume is that there was an NDA on him teaching until it was announced to the newspapers on the first day of classes. Which would explain why it didn’t hit the news until said day…

Whatever, it’s weird, let’s just move on.

One of the reporters steps forward, asking/demanding a chance to speak to All Might about his sudden shift to teaching, only for the guy behind her to try and call out a warning - just a touch too late, as the sensors over the gate react, causing the daunting hunk of metal serving as a gate to slam closed right in front of her. Gonna guess she’s new to the reporting scene. The guy explains that the UA barrier locks down if someone without a school ID approaches the gate, and that supposedly there are more sensors throughout the campus.

The panel gives us a diagram of the three ‘levels’ of sensors - the gate/wall around the school, the walkway to the school, and the school itself. Which I think correlates to the security levels that come up later, since it’s a ‘level three’ breach, which means the school was broken into. Was it… always that fucking simple and I just totally glossed over that detail until now? orz

While the newsfolk complain about not getting comments from UA, we get to see the back of a ~mysterious figure~ who definitely isn’t the primary antagonist of the entire series. God, you can see his individual neck vertebrae.

Horrifying.

We transition to 1a’s homeroom, with Aizawa going over the battle training as well as their grades / evaluations. Aizawa calls out Katsuki and tells him to grow up and stop wasting his talent, which Katsuki grudgingly accepts. Izuku jolts at being called out next over his broken arm, and accepts the chastisement of learning to control his quirk, because trying isn’t going to cut it. Aizawa does soften the blow, however, by repeating that Izuku has potential, assuming he overcomes that issue.

With that done, Aizawa ‘Plus Extra™’ Shouta gets the whole class tense by drawing out the next class announcement. While I think it’s a translation error, the whole class sweating as they wonder whether it’s another brutal pop quiz is hella funny. (I’m guessing it was meant to be ‘test’ which would reference to the quirk assessment as well as the battle training, but ah well.) The whole class sighs in relief as one as Aizawa finally reveals that their task for the morning is to choose a class president - a normal, school-like thing in comparison to the past two days.

Pretty much the entire class has their hands raised to volunteer for the position, with Katsuki being particularly aggressive about it (as per the norm). Even Izuku has his hand shyly lifted up from the desk, while his narration notes that the position in normal schools entails mundane tasks, but in UA’s hero course means leading the group - a position suited for a top hero in the making.

Tenya calls for them all to quiet down, drawing attention as he goes on to explain how leading people is a task of heavy responsibility, but that ambition is not equal to ability. He is so intense it’s hilarious as he explains how the office demands the trust of its constituents, and that if it’s to be a democracy, then he puts forward the motion that they choose their leader through election.

Seriously this is just so fucking hilarious, I love this boy so much. And I love whoever it is that calls out that this is a classroom, not congress. 

Tsuyu points out that the class hasn’t known each other long enough to build trust, and Kirishima notes that everyone will vote for themselves. Tenya points out that that is precisely the reason that anyone who gets multiple votes will be the best suited for the job. He then checks with Aizawa if this is allowable, which the teacher agrees to so long as it’s quick. And a quick transition, we reveal the winners-

Izuku with three votes, and Momo with two.

Everyone else, it seems, still has one vote, which was their own (as predicted). Izuku is shook. Katsuki is shaking in anger as he demands to know who the hell voted for Deku. Ochako is whistling and looking away, thinking that she’d better not let Katsuki find out.

(Also of note is that Sero is already approaching Katsuki and making a joke here about it being obvious Katsuki wasn’t one of Izuku’s votes, and then seemingly laughing a bit when Katsuki’s temper turns on him?

Hard to say for sure, but it seems Sero is the first of Katsuki’s future friend group to approach him and get away with poking at his temper. Which I feel is something very much overlooked by the fandom in favor of Kirishima for fairly obvious reasons.)

Tenya, meanwhile, is in a funk as he notes he has no votes, and that that is the harsh reality of office. Momo is concerned as she notes that zero votes meant he voted fro someone else, while Sato points out that Tenya was the one to suggest the election, so what did he seriously want? Izuku and Momo go to the front of the class - Izuku a nervous wreck while Momo’s just exasperated with the situation. Aizawa confirms their positions as he gets out of his sleeping bag, and the class talk a bout about the suitability of the chosen pair while Tenya continues to sulk in his seat.

With that, the first half of the chapter is done, so I’ll call it here. I can certainly say I learned a thing or two today, and I hope y’all did as well!

[riisinaakka-draws]

part 2/6

2nd part of my old Black Sails scraps and doodles from 2016–2021. Not in any particular order.

This time the drawings are short comics that were abandoned for a reason or another, mostly because I lost the interest or felt like there was too much to redraw compared to the satisfaction of finishing something else more interesting. There’s also some talk about rigid mindset and how overthinking can lead to stagnation.

Contains early silverflint moments, specks of dust, rackham's glasses are found, jealous-Billy spying, desk-Flint gets caught, "squint-squint", a quiet moment and its bird dilemma etc.

And please do not steal and repost elsewhere. But if you do get inspired, feel free to make your own interpretations!

Long-ish post under the cut!

“What are you thinking about?”

“Specks of dust.”

“Liar.”

The idea was to show how much they and their relationship had changed. This was around 2016 when the season 3 began and I was still re-learning to draw with a tablet. Another art from the same time period (and idea) is this art: The Dynamic Duet. 

And for some reason I was really stuck up thinking that I’d have to first do the sketch, then the clean line art, then planes underneath, then shadows etc. and I have always struggled with that kind of approach! Mainly because I hate doing clean line work, lol. And I was a fool for trying to start with a white canvas! It’s so much harder to find values and plan things, or at least in my opinion..

“Rackham’s glasses are found”

To celebrate their new pirate alliance, they share the four lenses of Rackham’s sunglasses as they were also found at the time (because I wanted it to resurface and they could be made into jewellery you know...). This was right after the episode where Anne fights and hurts her hands (here wearing protecting mittens from Max even though she’s not trusted at the moment). Uh, this doesn’t spark joy interest me much and it’s quite stiff and would recuire a lot of redrawing faces, so - discarded!  

I somewhat like the idea still (them having something to share, although it’s on Jack’s detriment). I tried to find a stylished comical easier doodlier? way to draw them and draw clean lines etc, but it just wasn’t for me. Also here too, the background is blank and too bright. Later I started to think things as scenes and draw everything at the same time instead of adding the bg later or trying to show everything (and everyone) at the same time.

Here’s also Billy in the same story:

He’s spying on them and since it’s so bright he’s wearing his diy “sunglasses” and being envious to the others. *cough* uhhh...Idk? Also people were shipping Ben Gunn (and cheese) with Billy, so that bled into this too... Charles’ spirit is riding the “big white bird” that was mentioned in Teach’ story and in this case it’s a pelican.

As you can see, I also wasn’t using the brushes that I use nowadays. A hard (or soft) round brushes with no change in opacity just aren’t for me. For example, in traditional art, I struggle with markers and copics, but really enjoy charcoals and watercolours. I prefer ragged edges, layering and thus blending things into each other (and leaving the viewer to fill in the gaps) instead of having stark or definite things. I also struggle with vector drawings, although I have decided to finally start learning to use them...somedayyyy.

Also, I wasn’t paying attention to anatomy, like, at all LMAO. I was just so happy to be able to put something on the canvas.

This is one of my first ink drawings, but I cannot find the original anymore. Again, I like the idea, but not how things look art-wise. And I was so adamant, that I have to get everything right in the traditional drawing and not fix anything later on on photoshop because then it would be cheating. And thus, I was never able to move on or finish this properly the way I liked it (idiot).

BUT! It was a good practise to just draw and test things on paper and gain confidense on drawing things in overall (as I was still getting back into art). To get over the fear of blank paper you know, and try to find my style whatever it would start to form into.

Oh, yeah, Desk Flint.

Desk Flint was a thing for a while (still is, lol). Another drawing from that time is this Slingshot Pirate (2016). And Desk Flint keeps repeating in many later works too. The point is mainly “Flint sitting behind his desk and people interrupt him and I don’t have to draw him fully”

Well, anyway... moving on.

Here’s a plan that has been stuck for years. It’s name is “Squint-squint.” Left is the sketch (with another sketch underneath because the expressions were clearer in the old one). On the right is the continued piece with colour scheme but I cropped the eyes panel and faces out (it was so ugly for some reason) but if I ever continue/finish this, it will be redrawn there in the middle.)

Left. “On that moment their eyes were literally open(ed).”

Right. “After squinting on the shore for days, they had actually forgotten how pretty the other idiot’s eyes were.”

I still like it, quite a lot, but my perfectionist ass only sees too much “boring” things to draw and get right, so it hasn’t been a priority for a long time and other works have kept me occupied and more interested in them.

--------------------

“Quiet Moment.” 2018 (a wordless comic happening after the events of Charles Town)

I’m going to explain after these pictures, but see how big the difference is when you start to look at references and plan things together (the space, “camera” movement, background etc). I also started to colour with coarser brushes:

I drew this around early 2018. A lot of improvement! Still quite a lot of negative space (empty white backgrounds), but it fits this work. A few things tell where we are (the ship’s cabin and the balcony). Changing distances and how things are cropped/framed make things more moving and focused (and less to draw, lol). Colours and brush strokes are softer, more layered and so on.

But guess why it’s still a wip!

I couldn’t decide what bird is flying over there.

Yeap! At first it was an albatross (doesn’t go to Bahamas?). Then a seagull (but which seagull? there’s so many subspecies! Is the ship at sea or at the harbour? what birds are there on the open water/ close to the shore?? oh noo...) So, yeah, wayyyy too much over-thinking.

At some point I ended up with white-tailed-tropic-bird which was a plus! because it sounds like the bosun’s whistle, but at that point I was so tangled and frustrated and still had so much to finish with this that I left it be. Also Flint’s face looks different in every frame so I would’ve had to change some parts, lol. And then I forgot it for a couple of years! And then I had learned to draw a bit differently and again saw too much things to do, so it’s quite hard to take on this again, especially when there are so many other interesting wips waiting...

But I still really like the feeling of it! And the colour scheme. So I might just limit the things I’m allowed to fix and then post it as it own someday. I mean, it’s 90% finished, but the last reach just feels like miles.

And that’s what usually happens with my wips. They reach a certain point and it suddenly becomes really hard to finish or get back into.

But every time I learn things and then use the information in another work! :D

Final note for this post (altough this has been said hundreds of times): use references and look how things go and try to see the structure and form beneath things. And think where it is happening and how the light and surroundings affects the characters and/or spaces. And maybe think what you’re trying to convey with the art, what idea? what emotions? what purpose? or like, what are you trying to learn with the piece? and so on...

Thanks for checking this out, I hope you had fun <3

[zkfanworkweek]

ZFAW Content Creator Interviews: OwedBetter

Hey everyone! We hope you’re all excited for ZFAW, and to honor (ha!) ZFAW’s commitment to supporting and celebrating fan content creators in the Zutara fandom, we’re going to be rolling out a series of interviews with well-known and widely-beloved content creators over the next few weeks. We’ve got artists and fanfiction authors, some names you recognize as well as a few phenomenal up-and-coming talents, and we can’t wait for you to meet them all!

I’m super excited about this one! For the sixth (incredibly delayed, I’M SORRY) interview in the cycle, we have Jo, aka @owedbetter. Best known for the absolutely iconic Zutara fanfiction “I’m Still Here,” Jo’s works can be found at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12312357/chapters/27990618

Tell us about how you came to ship Zutara. What does this ship mean to you?

To use one of my favourite lines from Jane Austen, "I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun." I started watching Avatar: The Last Airbender when I was just a tiny little baby child at 10 turning 11 years old. I do know for a fact, however, that Zutara had simply always been it for me from the very beginning. I believe it was during "The Storm" that I just knew that there was more to Zuko than what was at surface level. As a brown girl trying to make her way into positions of leadership as a child, Katara's strength, rage, and bravery paved the way for me to survive in the way I have. As a survivor of child abuse myself, Zuko remaining kind and gentle and good was of paramount importance. Together, they were the joining of two souls that met in conflict and chaos but through merit, equal standing, and forgiveness, they were exactly what each other needed. They are not opposites nor two halves of a whole; they are the sky and between them is only the world. Everyone has the need to feel truly seen and understood as they are by another, and Zuko and Katara do exactly that. Other stories come and go, but they're the story I come back to and will continue to call home every single time. I will never tire of them.

2. What inspires you to create Zutara fanworks?

 I've been a professional writer for the last ten years. It's my job to imagine and create stories. I also love consuming stories through every medium possible. The well never dries when you keep it full to the brim. When you do the work I do and you consume as many stories as I do and you've lived a long enough life and paid attention to the life around you as I have trained to do, to be inspired is second nature. For Zutara, however, these are voices that have lived in my brain for fifteen years. When I get an idea for a story, literally any story, it's like my subconscious is naturally attuned to their dynamic that every prompt I come up with is automatically a Zutara prompt. Such is the way. If I ever publish a novel and/or lead my own show/movie, you can bet that it's probably Zutara if you squint.

3. Be selfish - if you could request one fanwork based on your own art/fanfic, what would it be? What would you absolutely love to see someone create? 

To this day, "i'm still here" is probably the single greatest thing I've ever done in my whole stupid life. It would be the greatest honour to see my work interpreted visually. Genuinely, I'd love to see certain scenes as comic panels or something. Katara's realisation at the beach over who she is and she thinks about Yue, her mother, and her grandmother. Zuko and Katara's mutual understanding. The scene that started it all: baby Zuko taking care of baby Azula at the beach. Katara and Iroh talking in Chapter 7. Toph meeting fear for the first time. The entire ending of Chapter 6. As of writing this, I haven't updated the sequel yet but I would love to see visual interpretations of incoming Original Characters because they've been fun to create. I don't even know. If anyone wants to draw something from "i'm still here", I would like to see it. Please let me see it. I will cry. But also, I would like to see visual interpretation of Zutara in my modern quarantine pandemic AU because I would like to see long haired 28 year old Zuko wearing autumn-wear in a public park filled with flowers with 26 year old Katara basically wearing anything I wear because I am projecting in that story for a reason. 

4. Any words for people who are new to the fandom and/or nervous about sharing their work for the first time?Buddy, we're all just a bunch of nerds who are creating things for our enjoyment and the enjoyment of likeminded individuals. Do things for you and because they bring you joy, first and foremost. Everything else can be ignored if you want to ignore it. You're doing great. 

5. What is your favorite Zutara-related thing you’ve made and why is it special to you?

 Again, "i'm still here" is literally the greatest thing I've ever done in my life. Something I get commended for a fair amount with ISH is how I handled Zuko being a child abuse survivor, and his conflicting emotions with his violent abusers because he's still a child who wants his family to love him. That comes from an extremely personal place for me and it means the world to know that other survivors out there resonated so well with it. Also, Masterchef Zuko with that chicken adobo meant me getting a LOT of people saying they tried out the recipe themselves and I can feel my grandmother radiate with pride over knowing I'm so great a cook that I can convince people to want my dish just by writing about it. I'm so proud of everything I did with ISH. I worked really hard on it and I'm so happy to know it means a lot to other people too. 

6. What’s an idea for a fanwork that you have but haven’t gotten around to making?

I have this one modern AU involving dogs that I've put on the backburner since 2017. One day... one day!!! I'm a bit of a workaholic, though, so most of the things I want to do, I just do 'em. 

7. Are you participating in ZFAW? If so, want to give us a hint as to your plans? 👀

I am! I have a draft ready based on one of Hayley Foster's animatics and I'm very excited. Tumblr user hayleynfoster, I owe you my entire life. 

[victory-red]

why tōya being the oldest todoroki sibling makes no (or very little) sense.

Warning: Manga spoilers. Long post ahead - big paragraphs, lots of reading, and at least one (1) rabbit trail.

So I know this is old news, but I’ve been meaning to make a post about it for a little while now. I know a lot of people already headcanoned that Tōya was the oldest Todoroki sibling even before it was officially confirmed, but it just never really made sense to me, particularly in regard to Enji’s timeline. And then, after Chapter 291 came out, it made even less sense.

(A couple of quick disclaimers, before I continue: I’m not trying to pass anything off as fact. My conclusions are simply opinions based on observations I’ve made. I’ll also note that there are definitely gaps in what information we do officially have, so there is still a chance that what seems to me like a fairly significant plothole will eventually be explained.)

I’ll start with Enji - more specifically, his current confirmed age in relation to Fuyumi’s, who is the oldest Todoroki sibling whose age we do officially know. As of the current manga arc, Enji is 46 years old, and Fuyumi is 23. Since Enji’s birthday is in early August and Fuyumi’s in early December, that means that Enji was a little over 23 years old when he and Rei had Fuyumi.

From what we know of Enji’s history and personality, that seems like a reasonable age for him to have started having kids. He said in Ch. 165 that he became Number Two at age 20, at which point he immediately realized that he wasn’t ever going to be able to surpass All Might on his own. He said that it was because of this realization that he passed the torch (no pun intended) to Shōto. But, Shōto wouldn’t be born until a decade later. So, it makes sense to me that this would be the point that Enji decided it would be best to instead try having a child that could surpass All Might. In other words, it makes sense that this would be the catalyst that led to Shōto’s birth.

The most recent information we got regarding Enji and Rei’s relationship in Ch. 291 seems to be just a bit conflicting with how Shōto had described things back in Ch. 31 - unlike Shōto’s account, Ch. 291 sort of implied that Enji did care for Rei to some capacity, at least early in their marriage. (How he’s been portrayed in flashbacks recently is actually very conflicting with flashbacks from earlier chapters, and even with his entire personality in earlier chapters. But I won’t get into that - we’ll just make the assumption that Shōto’s story was biased, because it probably was.)

Since he essentially bought Rei’s family off, it only makes sense that he would have to grow to care for her over a period of time - you know, maybe like a year or two. I’m not sure how long the entire Quirk Marriage process took, but factoring in the 9 or so months Rei had to carry Fuyumi before she was born, it makes sense that after Enji’s realization upon attaining the Number Two title, the entire process of creating the plan of having hyper-powerful children, finding a suitable partner, buying her family off, marrying her, and having their first child would take anywhere between two to three years. That would mean that he was 20 when the process started, 22 when Rei got pregnant, and 23 when Fuyumi was born. Boom.

(Frankly, even that timeframe seems a bit compressed to me, but since Enji’s and Fuyumi’s ages are both canonically set in stone, I have no choice but to work with it.)

Tōya canonically being older than Fuyumi begins to screw a lot with the timeline - especially taking into consideration what the implied age gap between them is. I unfortunately can’t find where (or if) this is explicitly stated in the manga, but the wiki says that most Quirks develop around the age of 4. Now, it’s entirely possible that Tōya was born with his Quirk, but given Rei’s constitution, I highly suspect that there would have been severe complications with both her pregnancy and Tōya’s birth. It also makes sense that if he had developed his Quirk at an exceptionally young age, there would have been some note made of it. But since neither of those things are mentioned to have happened, we’ll just assume he was between 3 and 4½ years old when his Quirk manifested.

I don’t know how long afterward it took for Enji and Rei to decide to have another baby, but I can’t imagine that the decision took any longer than several months. I’ll be conservative and say that they decided no longer than a few months after Tōya’s Quirk developed, because remember - Enji literally, canonically cannot be any older than 23 when Fuyumi was born. Jumping 9 months forward from that time, Tōya would most likely have been between 4 and 5 years old when Fuyumi was born.

Now I will note that in the top panel, Tōya looks to me to be between 4 and 6 years old, which was presented as being before Fuyumi’s birth. But in the lower one, where he’s crawling over to look at baby Fuyumi (or at least I think that’s what’s happening? It’s a bit dark to tell for certain), he looks a lot younger - in fact, he doesn’t even look to have the white streak in his hair yet. But given how it’s explained that Enji and Rei even came to the decision to have Fuyumi at all, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense contextually. But, I’ll let it be and just assume that the manga didn’t present those panels chronologically. It could also be the zoomed-out view that makes Tōya seem smaller. Either way, I’m overanalyzing, and that’s sort of off-topic, anyway.

Okay, I think that’s all the setup I need to finally get to the meat of my argument, which I will start with this: If Tōya is anywhere between 4 and 5 years older than Fuyumi, that means that Enji was anywhere between 18 and 19 years old when Tōya was born.

In any other situation, that might make sense, but here’s the thing: it’s already been established, or at least very heavily implied, that Enji didn’t even consider the possibility of having children to surpass All Might until he attained his Number Two status, which as I’ve already mentioned happened when he was 20. Even if Tōya was only 3 years older than Fuyumi, which doesn’t make much sense because he would then have had to develop his Quirk at age 2 or younger, that still would mean that he was conceived before Enji even became Number Two.

If that doesn’t make sense to you, think of it this way: If Enji was between 18 and 20 years old when Tōya was born, that would mean that Tōya would have been conceived when Enji was 17 at the youngest - still a student, unless he graduated early. Regardless, that also implies he would have had to create his elaborate plan to beat All Might, as well as find and marry Rei, before he even graduated secondary school. Given what information we have from canon, that just does not make any semblance of sense.

As compelling that argument alone may or may not be, there are others to support it as well. Let’s consider what that implies for the age gaps between Tōya and the other Todoroki siblings. If he’s 3-5 years older than Fuyumi, that means he’s roughly 7-9 years older than Natsuo and 10-12 years older than Shōto. That would mean, if Shōto were between 5 and 6 years old in the following panels, Tōya would be anywhere between 15 and 18 years old. Fuyumi would be between 10 and 13, and Natsuo would be between 8 and 11.

While I understand that Tōya inherited Rei’s slight constitution, puberty usually begins for boys around 12 or 13 years old (although to my understanding it often starts later in Asian boys), so Tōya would likely have already begun to go through his growth spurt by this age. Even assuming that Natsuo had started going through his own growth spurt, Tōya still has 7-9 years on him - so the chances that Natsuo had this much height and mass on him are pretty slim. I might be able to buy Tōya being 15 years old in those panels, but I find even that a bit of a stretch.

And finally, let’s talk about how old Tōya was when he “died.”

Assuming that the second panel is the most recent (halfway decent) photo the Todorokis have of Tōya before his “death,” I’m inclined to agree with the people who have pointed out that his clothes resembled a junior high school uniform, similar to what Midoriya and Bakugō were seen wearing in the story’s earliest chapters and episodes. Junior high school in Japan is attended by students between the ages of 12 and 15, roughly - so it’s safe to assume that Tōya was no older than 15 years old when he “died.” However, I will note that given how Horikoshi draws most of the 15-year-old male characters in the story, he does look younger than that to me. I am keeping in mind that Tōya was mentioned to have had a slight build - even as Dabi, he still does - so there is the possibility that my conclusions there aren’t accurate.

If Tōya was 12 when he “died,” Shōto would probably not have any memories of him at all - at the time of his “death,” he would have been anywhere between 2 years old and a newborn. It’s implied in the manga and the anime that Tōya disappeared sometime after Rei burned Shōto’s face, which undoubtedly happened after Enji had begun to train him - so, likely well after he had turned 5. In the somewhat unlikely event that his face was burned while he was still 5 years old, Tōya would have been between 15 and 18 years old, as mentioned above. If it had happened when Shōto was 7, he would have been between 17 and 20, and so on. Going with the junior high school uniform theory, which honestly seems rather plausible, he essentially cannot have “died” after age 15 - so, more than likely, he would have been gone before Shōto even began his training. Obviously, this is disproven by the soccer panel in Ch. 39.

Honestly, I don’t know how else to say it - no matter how I angle it, it just does not make sense to me, canonically, that Tōya is the eldest Todoroki sibling. There’s a lot of information stacked up against it, and though I’ve mulled over it for a bit now, I can’t actually think of a scenario in which it actually is a logical conclusion.

TL;DR: Tōya being the oldest Todoroki doesn’t make sense in light of information we have regarding Enji’s timeline as well as previous images we’ve seen in the manga and anime.

[mcrmadness]

Madness draws: Behind the Scenes of the Bela/Farin: “Widumihei” comic.

A few months ago I posted here this comic:

CLICK HERE for the original post about that comic where you can see it in better and bigger size, and also reblog it ;)

And this post is just a deep dive into how I plan, do and draw my comics.

Let’s start with sketchbook things...

So every comic needs a story, right? My comics usually are born from either some dialogue I imagine in my head or by an impulsive inspiration that happens when I see something or talk with people and a random idea is triggered. I’m very good at coming up with new ideas solely based on just one word or so which is why I often ask people if they have anything they would want to see/read because I suck at coming up ideas on my own. Or I do get ideas, but not as often as I’d want to.

This particular idea was very old and I have tried but I cannot find the piece that was my inspiration but it was in some of my old German books because I remember laughing at it with either my brother or even with the German teacher in 2011 or 2012. I was only able to find my first “sketch” of the story:

This is in the notebook I used for writing down some comic ideas and even had one comic in it, plus it’s also my fanfiction writing notebook. It has no date but I know for sure it was either 2011 or 2012 because that’s when I did my last Bela/Farin comic and pretty much started my (unintentional) 6 year pause from drawing altogether.

I have always been trilingual when I do these plans for my comics, often writing the “narration” in Finnish and the dialog either in English or German because I just cannot imagine them to speaking Finnish. The translation of that text goes as:

COMIC (sarjis = sarjakuva = comic book in Finnish)

1. The phone is ringing. 2. F: “Widumihei?!” B: ? 3. B: “Farin wtf?” 4. Farin walks from another room. 5. B: “Widumihei?” 6. F: “It means, “will you marry me?”“ 7. B: *wtf* REPLAY:

1. Bela is sitting/laying somewhere. 2. The phone is ringing. Reached with his hand? 3. Looks at the phone, “wtf?”, a thought: “von Jan: Widumihei?!” 4. Bela: “Farin?” / “Jan?” 5. F comes from another room, looks in from behind the door frame or something. B: “Widumihei?” 6. F: “Widumihei: “WIllst DU MIch HEiraten”“ 7. B: “WTF”

So when I then started to draw these comics again in 2018, I kept thinking about this one too and still wanted to draw it one day. If you have read the finished comic, you may notice something different in the old plot versus new: I switched Bela’s and Farin’s roles. Back then I didn’t know too much yet but over the years I have learnt much much more about them and I just figured that asking to marry him even as a joke would be too much for Farin and that it would fit Bela’s persona much much better.

***

I had a bit of problems with getting started with this one, mainly because the last times I drew a dä comic was in June 2020, in April 2020 and before those in October 2019. Because of so long time between the comics, I just always forgot about my methods and in which order I do things and what works for me the best. So every time I started to work on a comic, I had to start completely over because all I had was blank paper and I somehow needed to get my thoughts in order and out of my head, into a physical form aka as text and images on the paper, and it’s easier said than done.

So pardon me but from this on the text is going to get a little bit confusing for a little while from now on - but it’s also a very good look over how the life with my suspected ADHD be like sometimes...

I started working on the plot once again to my sketchbook... I think it was somewhere in the beginning of 2020. Because the next idea there is from the summer. This is what the plot looked like at that point - here I had already switched their roles:

Shortly, the texts go: 1. Farin is reading a book. 2. A phone makes a noise. 3. (Farin) looks at it/read the message. / 6. B appears into the doorway. / 11. F spits out the tea.

And underneath it you can see one of the stick figure storyboards I often do in order to kinda see the text in pictures better, and I will write down or draw important aspects like expressions (Farin’s eyebrows) or things like *facepalm’* or *eyeroll* so that I remember to add them.

Next I was struggling with the era. It needed to be an era with the old mobile phones with SMS options but still not too early because I feel that Farin would have not been the first in line to buy a brand new technology object, especially not when it’s a phone. I was even googling when did Germany get their first mobile phone - I remember I got my first phone aka Nokia 5510 in 2000 or 2001 after my mom got a new one and gave her old one to me, so the story shouldn’t happen too many years before the Millenium.

Originally I planned 1997 for that - I needed to think about that based on their styles because shorter hair is harder to draw. Here’s me trying out some hairs and how they’re to draw and which era would suit my needs the best. I actually find the text hilarious altho it’s mine but this is what it’s in English:

Time period -> 1996-1997? 1998 I’ve never drawn 1999 is not that much fun to draw 2000 is already a bit too late? Bela not that much fun to draw. -2001 moustaches are not fun to draw?

I think I was struggling with my thoughts because the next thing in that sketchbook is yet another storyboard:

Or actually I think this was just to see how many sheets I’d need and how many panels I could fit on one sheet.

Anyhow, I then did other things for some time before I got back to this project this year. Including finishing with the sketchbook I had been using since 2010 (and the half of it since 2018!) and I had to get myself a new one. So when I started to think about this comic again, one night I was just thinking about some Bela/Farin scenarios as usual and suddenly I just felt that I NEED to do the comic in the 1998 style!!! So suddenly we jump from the original 1997 idea to the new era, only because of the colors. 

So asap I grabbed my sketchbook and started to look for the proper colors for the hairs:

This one I posted here before too as I was struggling a lot and just felt that I didn’t know how to draw, again. Sometimes when I feel like that, I start drawing with my non-dominant aka left hand because it doesn’t have all that in muscle memory so drawing and writing with it feels more free and it feels almost like pressing a refresh button in my brain. Suddenly the right one know again how to draw because left isn’t too well in control. The below part of the image is done completely with the left hand, including the coloring.

And because I had now a new sketchbook, I somehow couldn’t... deal with the plot and plans being in a different sketchbook than everything else so I had write the plot/dialog AGAIN, into this new sketchbook, along with the storyboards and everything:

Translations: kirja = book, puhelin = phone, oviaukossa = in the doorway, teet suusta = tea(s) out of a/the mouth. “Puhelin zoom” just means “close up to the phone screen” in Madness.

You can also see that I found out that I don’t need to do the stick figure storyboards to imitate a sheet when I can just draw this rectangle and smaller rectangles inside of it and write there numbers to match the things in the dialog to make it much easier for me to plan the pages. And here’s also a small easter egg: there’s 13 panels overall in this comic :D I almost did 12 but then felt that no, I really need to do 13 because, you know, the hairs, the era, the album title. And also because I like the number so much lmao.

So from there we get to the second storyboard which is not just stick figures anymore but just me planning how I want the panels to look like. To get the imagery of the rooms and facial expressions etc. out onto the paper so that I can see them in real life instead of my shady imagination that sometimes isn’t as vivid as what I could be.

Also have you ever tried to draw a beach chair? It’s more difficult than you’d think:

I tried to draw the same thing from the same reference photos so many times and still I always felt like I was trying to draw that impossible triangle or some other illusion image. And it just went on and on here:

Originally I also had planned the second panel to be a close up of the phone so that Farin’s face would be left at the background from the frog perspective. That’s what I was trying to with that weird-ass face on the left but turned out that I have never drawn these characters from such angle and I just... couldn’t see it in my head clearly enough to be able to draw it. So I dismissed that idea and that’s why the angle changed from a phone close-up to a side view to the room and at Farin.

As I was in the middle of planning the second page, I suddenly wasn’t happy with my original plot anymore. I wasn’t sure if it would work and needed to think about it one more time. So I wrote two other dialogs here, along with a storyboards for them both. I ended up choosing B from those two options eventually.

I don’t remember anymore if I had already done the first sketch of the comics or not but at some point I just felt that I no longer knew how to draw in my style. Sometimes you just draw and learn wrong things and wrong methods that you get used to and then you have to take a break and actually do a little bit of studying over your own style to find again the way how you want to draw, and get rid of the bad habits and find the good ones again. In my case it was to draw the eyes way way too big when they originally never were THAT big, so I had to learn how to draw them small and normal again. That’s why I did these, as I really needed to pay attention to the faces and remember how to draw them again:

The front-side views were another big readong for this “study” because I have drawn that perspective only once or twice before and I needed to figure out how I want to draw that. Also, I don’t know if it’s just me but for some reason the front-side Farin reminds me of one of the parent characters from this cartoon called The Rugrats which I watched as a kid. It was totally unintentional, but you can google The Rugrats if you don’t know how the charatcers looked like in the cartoon.

The things below are just me testing something. The red Farins were just to test how the colored pencils work on each other and how the fineliners work with the colored pencils, and which way is the better way to do the shading. And the red colored pencil was the only one available at the time so that had to do.

A little bit about the heads btw: You might notice some difference between the left and right faces. It’s because I have always, always struggled with drawing anything that is looking at right. Most of the animal portraits and all I have drawn so that they look at left because I just find it so much easier to draw. I think with comics it’s because I always start with the eye (and the eyebrows if I don’t forget it) and then do the forehead, nose, mouth and chin, and after that I either continue from the hair (from the front) or do the ear first. But when I am drawing them to look at right, I have to basically draw the mirror image and starting from the hair is not the key because it can easily mess up with the perspectives. I still usually draw everything in the same order but it really is difficult because I’m doing a mirror image and my own hand is on the way, too. Basically I’m drawing from right to left instead of left to right! (I think I should try drawing those with my left hand, then...)

And from here we get to the first sketch of the comic. From here on the images are from my phone’s camera so they are sometimes illegally bad but no can do, I again didn’t think I’d post these to anywhere:

Here you can see I was mainly just focusing on the shapes and the space inside those panels. Just trying to see the perspective and how everything is. The only thing that I drew more precisely was the third panel, with the hand and phone. I had quite a nice memory of old phones in my head but I still googled for some reference photos of Nokia 5110 phones as that was my first phone (as I mentioned earlier), and I also happened to have some of my other old phones on the table nearby so I took my own hand reference photos too:

They always say there’s a little bit of the artist in their art and this one literally has that - “Farin’s” hand is actually my hand! :D And I think the size is kinda on point too because this phone was like 2-3 times smaller than Nokia 5110 and I have small hands, and I believe Farin must have much bigger hands, so the 5110 probably would have looked about the same size in his hand.

After the first sketch, the next step was then - the second sketch:

I also wanted to add more action to the panels so that it’s interesting to look at and not just basically the same panel over and over again with just different speech bubbles, so I came up with the idea of Farin spitting out his tea not being as cartoony as it could be and that he would have to actually clean it up instead of just leaving it there just because in cartoons/comics everything is possible. That way I got more depth into the panels and it was also interesting for me to draw because I drew lots of new postures I have never drawn before, and I’m surprised how well it went despite me not even looking for any kind of reference photos! The only things I used reference photos for were the beach chair, and the phone in a hand. (I have actually always been quite good at drawing 3D objects and spaces, especially if they are rectangular.)

So yeah, this is the phase where everything is then finished with pencil and what follows next is drawing the lines with fineliners - I use Sakura Pigma Micron fineliners for everything else, and black Promarker for doing the lines for the panels (and also if I need bigger pitch black areas done).

Here are the panel lines done but I only had a photo of this first sheet.

And here are both sheets with the finelining done and all pencil marks etc. erased. I really like this part because it looks so clean when all those sketch marks are gone. It’s also crazy to think I literally spend hours drawing something in pencil only to erase it all away later :D

And here’s one photo of the coloring process, the first one has only the base colors done but none of the shadows yet (apart from the shirts), and the second one has some of the shadows done but not everything yet.

Usually after coloring, I will then go through everything with the fineliners one more time to make sure all the lines are dark enough as it just gives everything the finished yet a bit “sketchy” look that what I really like with my comics. The actual last detail is always adding my signature along with the date or year.

And here’s the finished comic one more time for comparison:

Don’t forget to check and reblog the actual post about this comic if you read this post all the way here. I’d appreaciate that a lot since art and artist on Tumblr are not really that much appreciated.

[delimeful]

a mourning dove

here it is! a little late, but this is my @secret-sanders-sized gift for @roseof-alltrades3 ! 

i apologize for the lateness! i was so excited to work with your prompt that i ended up biting off more than i could chew and writing quite a bit more than planned! still, i hope that you like it! <3

warnings: blood, capture, fear, referring to a person as an ‘it’, random jerk giant

-

Logan was in the middle of breaking seven different rules when he was almost caught by a human. 

He’d been frustrated with his teacher, who refused to even consider the possible benefits of human technology, and with his best friend, who got upset at even the mention of humans being anything but dangerous, evil creatures. Nobody ever listened to him, not about the things that mattered. He’d seen some of the tools humans had, and he was certain they could benefit greatly from studying them! 

Of course, he’d only caught glimpses of those tools because he’d gone past the borough’s boundaries… far past them. But his point still stood! 

Incensed by being disregarded, Logan had abandoned his daily tasks to find his way to the edge of the woods again. Now, he was searching the forest floor for any possible human artifacts he could bring back as evidence to support his claim. 

Unfortunately, most of what he’d found was trash. Human litter tossed out of car windows or blown in from nearby fields. Logan grimaced, angling his wings to bank left, away from another shiny wrapper he’d mistaken for metal. 

Though their creations were interesting, Roman did have a point. Humans themselves were rather repulsive, in both mannerisms and appearance, what with the lack of wings. He almost pitied them. Almost. 

Distracted as he was by scanning the ground, when he finally caught sight of the human, it was just as the giant creature was crossing the boundary into the woods, only meters away. He froze for a moment, seized by some primitive instinct that overrode his logical mind screaming to flee before he was seen.

The human’s eyes flicked in his direction, and then promptly tripped over a stray tree root and toppled over with a yelp and a loud crash. The ground seemed to almost vibrate with the impact. 

Shaken by the quick movement, Logan finally managed to break out of his terrified haze and snapped his wings to swiftly dive towards the nearest branches for cover. He was going too fast to manage his usual precise landing, but managed to slam chest first into a thicker branch and cling to it, tawny wings tucked up against himself.

“Oops,” the human mumbled, picking a twig out of his bangs absently. “Sorry for the scare, little birds.” 

He didn’t give the trees around him more than a cursory glance before continuing over to a nearby birch, settling easily at the base of it and pulling the shoulder strap of his bag over his head. Logan breathed a near-silent sigh of relief, letting his death grip on the branch ease slightly; it seemed like the human had mistaken whatever glimpse he’d caught of the winged tiny as a bird. 

Still, the scare was enough to make his heart beat like it was trying to jump right out of his chest. He began to edge slowly along the tree limb, trying for a branch that extended behind the human’s field of vision. A leaf fluttered down, shaken loose by his movements, and he followed it with his gaze to where the human was sitting with a strange, rectangular device in his lap. 

Logan bit the soft inside of his lip. He should go back to the borough, warn Roman and the other guards of the human wandering near, especially after such a close call, but… 

Below him, the human opened the rectangle up, forming a right angle that was almost like an open book held sideways. He hummed a cheerful tune as the inside panels of the device suddenly changed color. Logan locked his legs around the branch, peering down. The human hadn’t seen him, and was very intent on the device, so it couldn’t hurt to take a bit longer. 

For the next hour, he watched curiously as the human pressed on the bottom rectangle, which was full of small square buttons that clicked, sometimes hesitant and sometimes so fast that it seemed as though he wasn’t even looking at what he was pressing. 

More intriguing was the way the bright, color-changing part would respond to the button pressing, small black lines appearing on a white background or entirely new scenes flashing into existence. The device seemed to glow, like a light reflected by water or one of the boroughs enchanted lanterns, but he could find no source for the light to be reflecting from, and everyone knew humans couldn’t perform enchantments. 

By the time the human stretched and changed the square back to a dull black, it was beginning to grow dark. The human closed the device back into its original form, and tucked it into his bag with easy motions. Logan sighed in disappointment, brimming with questions. He wanted to know everything about that strange technology- how it worked, what it was used for, where the human got it- but his only source of answers seemed done for the day, packing up and rising to his feet. 

After all, it wasn’t as though he could speak to a human. He’d be killed on the spot, or worse, captured. He watched as the tremendous creature yawned, displaying a mouth with teeth large enough to bite him in half, and shuddered. He was fairly certain humans weren’t that barbaric, but it was still unnerving to see. 

It was only once the human had vanished back over the hill that Logan finally felt at ease enough to stand on his branch, spreading his cramped wings a few times. He sent one last longing glance at the place where the human had last been, and-

Wait. What was that? 

He glided down to the oddly bright colored shape on the ground, landing a few feet away and glancing over his shoulder warily, suspecting a trap.

Nothing jumped out at him, though, and when he prodded the odd rounded rectangle, it didn’t do anything but sit there like a rock. He cautiously reached out to touch it, lifting it up into his arms and inspecting it closely in the dying sunlight.

It was lighter than he expected, more like an acorn than a rock, and made of a smooth blue material that certainly wasn’t wood or spidersilk cloth. He ran his thumb along the hard surface, finding a strange divot in it, and pressed his thumbs against the line. It gave slightly, and Logan grinned victoriously as the shell of the device cracked open to reveal… another smaller and more angled rectangle within.

He blinked at the shine of metal, wondering what in the world the purpose of such a tool could be. It wasn’t sharp enough to be a knife. Was it made to open something? Some kind of human key? 

A low hoot echoed nearby, and Logan stiffened, squinting at the bramble nearby in the low light. Roman would be having a fit by now, and it was too dark to do more investigating anyhow. 

Pulling the shell-cap loosely back into place over the metal, he ran a few feet and then took off, flitting between the trees back to the borough boundary lines. 

Taking care to avoid the night patrol, he kept the human item tucked closely to him as he reached the small aspen that held his home in its trunk. Luckily, he lived fairly far from the crowded borough center, and nobody took note of him slipping quietly in through one of his ceiling entrances. 

At least, that was what he thought until he touched down on his bedroom floor and heard someone clear their throat pointedly behind him. He whirled around, not entirely surprised to see his best friend standing there.

Roman was the son of the king and part of the guard, well-known and well-liked for his charming personality and looks alike. He had broad red hawk wings that flecked with gold whenever he cast enchantments, and many of their small town would sigh with longing or admiration whenever he passed by. 

Logan wondered how many of them would still have crushes if they knew how much of a worrywart their prince was. 

“Roman, what have I said about entering my home without permission?” he scolded automatically, his grip tightening on the item.

“Maybe I’ll actually listen to that when you start listening to the elder’s rules,” Roman shot back, his hands on his hips and his wings distinctly ruffled with his annoyance. He squinted at the bulky item in Logan’s arms. “What is that?” 

“... A human artifact,” he admitted, already drawing himself up in defense of his prize. “I found it, and I intend to study it.” 

“Oh, and I suppose that it was just laying around within borough limits, huh?” Roman scowled at him for a moment, before dragging a hand over his face. “Logan, you can’t keep doing this! We both know stealing from humans is dangerous.” 

“I wasn’t stealing. The human left this behind,” Logan defended, turning away to set the device on the floor next to his bed. 

“The human? As in, a particular one?” Roman’s voice went up a pitch, and Logan hid a wince. 

“I meant whatever human left the device. There was no human in sight when I retrieved it, of course. I’m no fool, Roman.” 

It was technically mostly the truth, but he was careful to keep the tips of his wings still anyhow, since they tended to flick around when he told lies. Roman sighed, looking caught up in his own thoughts. 

“Right, of course.” It was the closest they got to apologies, admitting the other was right. “I just wish… maybe we could meet up and work on spellwork more often? It’d keep me from worrying about you, and I miss when I had a decent partner to spar with.” 

Logan pulled his wings tight against his back, irritated by the guilt welling up inside him. “I’ve told you before that I cannot help you progress any further. I have imparted all I can in theory work, and you have already surpassed me in terms of casting, traditional and freeform. There is no sense in having me present to sit around uselessly when you are busy working on bigger and better things.” 

“Oaks above, Lo.” Roman swore, ruffling his hands through his hair in frustration. “You’re not useless.” 

“Of course I’m not,” Logan sniffed, staring intently at the device to avoid Roman’s gaze. “I am simply better suited to spend my time researching other matters to help the borough, namely the potential of human artifacts, regardless of what you or our mentor are so set on believing.” 

“Ugh! I don’t know why I even bother when you never listen!” Roman groaned, hands dropping to his sides.

Logan scowled. “I am listening, and that’s why I know you’re being ridiculous. I don’t need to be under constant supervision. I can take care of myself.”

“Fine, then! Keep dropping feathers in wolf dens, see how long it takes for one to hunt you down.” Apparently fed up, Roman flared his wings up and launched himself upwards, exiting through the skylight. Dramatic as always. 

Logan shook off his lingering unease with an absent flap of his wings. He refused to let himself linger on his friend’s ominous analogy, choosing to instead refocus on the mysterious item. 

He would be fine. Humans weren’t wolves, anyways. 

-

The next day, Logan found himself once again heading for the edge of the woods, the device strapped securely to his lower leg. 

He’d spent hours fiddling with the thing, attempting to understand how it worked to no avail. He’d considered taking it apart by force or trying more dangerous experiments, but ultimately he only had the one, and he didn’t want to ruin something that could potentially be vital to proving his point about human tech.

At least, not before exhausting all his other options, which included seeing if the human had another one, and if Logan could catch a glimpse of him using it. It was a long shot, particularly since he wasn’t even sure if the human would return at all, let alone happen to use a duplicate of this item.

Still, he had to try, and so he spent a few hours staking out the treeline from the leafy branches above. Taking the odds into account, he hadn’t honestly expected the human to return, so he was more than surprised when the giant actually did appear, several hours earlier than the previous afternoon as well. He leaned in to watch as the human scoured the forest floor, holding a black box to his ear and speaking to it. 

“No, I remember having it in my bag at the end of class, for sure. It has to be around here somewhere, because this is the only place I went between campus and home, and I already searched my whole car!” the human said, voice growing more distressed as he went on. There was a pause, faint sounds coming from the box. Logan wondered if it wasn’t some sort of communication device. 

The human took a deep breath, settling down onto the dirt for a moment. “Yeah. Yeah, she’s a very nice professor. If I explained, I’m sure I could get an extension to redo the work, but that’s not what I’m really worried about.” A sniffle. “That thumb drive isn’t my normal school one. It has a bunch of old family photos stored on it, and I don’t have them saved anywhere else. If I can’t find it…” 

With a pause to take a deep, shuddery breath, the human managed to keep from crying. “I’m just going to keep searching, okay? It’s kind of windy, maybe it got blown a little ways away or something. Yeah, I promise to stay safe. Are you sure-? Okay. I’ll text you when I’m done here, then. Thank you… bye.” 

 Logan watched as the human took the box from his ear, tucking it away into his pocket and beginning to sweep his hands over the dirt again. Searching, Logan was fairly sure, for the device currently tied to him. He stuck his leg out to look at it, studying the size. It certainly didn’t match up with any of his body parts, but for the human… he supposed it was vaguely thumb-sized. 

Thumb-sized but somehow containing something important to the human, something relating to his family. Logan felt a traitorous sting of guilt, which was ridiculous. It wasn’t as though he’d known the human would miss the item when he took it, not with its size. And there was no way he could return it now. Could he? 

He supposed if he managed to place it just right… and maybe, if he was lucky, the human would do something with it to check that it still functioned, and Logan would finally have at least one question answered. 

His desire to return the item was purely scientific. It had nothing to do with how the human had to take breaks from searching to push his glasses up and rub at his eyes with the back of his hands. Nothing at all.

His plan came together simply enough; the human was traveling from tree to tree in a line, apparently not sure which one he had sat under the day before. Logan remembered, of course, that it was the birch next to the log with the oyster mushroom colony, and knew that the human had already passed it. He flitted over to the birch in question, climbing down the branches until he was as low as he could get.

As soon as the human was a solid four trees away, he dropped to the ground, banking with his wings to slow his descent. He stumbled slightly upon meeting the dirt, and hurriedly ducked so the tree was between him and the human, heart pounding in his ears. He took a deep breath. 

There was no reason to panic. Humans were dangerous, yes, but he wouldn’t have to deal with a human so long as he was smart. He was always smart, therefore, nothing to worry about. 

Checking to make sure that the human was still occupied, he hurried over to a boulder entangled in the tree’s roots. It was prominent enough that the bright blue of the device’s shell should stand out noticeably against it. He carefully laid the device on top of the rock and then took off, returning to the treetops. 

He was careful to conceal himself thoroughly in the branches, well aware that the human might find the sudden mysterious appearance of the ‘thumb drive’ suspicious. He certainly would, but he knew that humans were generally as ignorant as they were huge, so he wasn’t overtly worried. 

The human continued to search further and further, enough so that Logan began to worry that he’d bypass the tree entirely on his way back, but luck was on his side. Shoulders drooping with defeat, the human turned around and headed back the way he’d come, only to stop dead at the sight of the thumb device sitting innocently atop a rock. 

He blinked, and then rubbed at his eyes for a moment as though wondering if he was seeing things. The thumb device remained real, and he knelt to pick it up with a growing smile, opening the case to check the metal inside with ease.

In the next moment, his head snapped up to search the woods around him, and Logan was careful to remain completely still, not a feather out of place. As expected, the human didn’t spot anything, and Logan watched as he rose to his full height, feeling a small twinge of disappointment as the device disappeared into his pocket.

Unexpectedly, the human spoke. “To whoever is looking out for me, thank you very much!” 

He placed a hand over his heart and did an odd little half-bow, eyes curious, and then waited a few moments before straightening again and beginning to walk back along the path out of the woods. As he left, he held that little black box up to his ear again and began to talk into it after a few moments’ delay.

“Virgil, I found it, I found it! I don’t know how, but I think a friend helped me…” Logan’s feathers ruffled slightly as the conversation continued outside his hearing range. 

What a ridiculous human. It was almost a shame Logan would probably never see him again.

-

“Hello, little bird!” A cheerful voice called out, nearly making Logan topple off his perch. 

He clung to the wood beneath him and peeked through the leaves, eyes widening in disbelief as he confirmed that it was, in fact, the human from before. 

“I hope you don’t mind if I call you that, since we weren’t formally introduced!” the human continued, spreading a blanket along the ground in front of the birch to sit on. “My name is Patton Hart!” 

He paused, and the only response was distant birdsong. Patton seemed undeterred.

“Well, little bird, I’ve deemed this area my lucky spot, so I hope it’s okay that I study here!” He pulled his strange color-changing rectangle out of his bag as he spoke, and Logan couldn’t help but lean forward with interest. 

“Thankfully, I was able to turn my final in on time with the files from the thumb drive! It worked perfect, so thanks for keeping it safe for me!” 

Logan perked up, immediately spotting the small blue thumb drive- or rather, half of it. The shell had been opened, and the metal part was plugged into the large rectangle. So it was a key! 

He waited for the human to elaborate on how it worked, what it unlocked and what it’s purpose was in conjunction with the rectangle, but he seemed content to sit and work in silence. Logan opened his mouth, and then snapped it closed again. He may have broken many of the rules already, but this one would put more than just him at risk. 

No, he couldn’t talk to the human… but he could listen.

Scolding himself for leaving his notebook at home, he settled in to watch the human study, noting certain patterns or phrases the human used whenever he started off on some random tangent addressed to “little bird”. As far as nicknames went, it was... tolerable. 

What made the encounter even more interesting was that when the human packed up to leave, he left something behind again, this time on purpose, going by the “Freely given, little bird!” he had announced before leaving. Logan had spent a good while agonizing over whether or not to approach such an obvious trap, but in the end his curiosity won out.

When he dropped down to the ground to investigate, he found that a small, embroidered piece of cloth had been set out with a variety of objects on top. Some he dismissed easily, like the oversized human food- undoubtedly drugged or poisoned- and the simple carved toys, but others were more intriguing. 

Of course, there was no way he could take anything back to his home, not now that the human was likely waiting for that exact thing. He couldn’t remain here to investigate either, seeing as the sun was setting and he could get… immersed in his work. Anything could sneak up on him.

Deciding on a compromise, he took the objects that interested him- a small white cylinder with an orange protrusion, and a band with a metal face- and carried them to a nearby abandoned woodpecker nest inside a sturdy trunk. Once they were safely tucked away, he resolved to study them in the morning and headed home. 

His evenings were strangely quiet without Roman there to laugh and tease. The heir was still giving him the cold shoulder, not that Logan had done anything to rectify the situation. Having Roman keep an eye on him would make his daily excursions all the more difficult. That was all that mattered. 

The next morning was spent fiddling frustratedly with the items he’d taken, trying to understand how the switch triggered flickering light, what the light was meant to do. It wasn’t near warm enough to burn, so was it simply a light source? It was so dull that he’d need several to properly light up his room, let alone a human home. 

The face of the band was no better, covered in symbols that clearly held some sort of meaning, and moving parts that continued unpausing in a cycle around the center of the symbols. It reminded him vaguely of a sundial’s rotations, but he had no way to guess the meaning of the human writing. 

When he went to see how the human reacted, however, he found that not only was he completely unconcerned by the missing items, but even enthusiastic to see what had been taken.

“Are you a curious one, little bird?” he asked, carefully clearing the other objects away. “That little fake candle and the watch… I guess you’re light on time, huh?” 

Logan watched as his human grinned brightly without explaining his words at all, and bemoaned the fact that he’d gotten a human that spoke in riddles. At least he knew what the items were called. 

The next day, his human left more objects, none of them wooden toys. He wondered if maybe the human was conducting an experiment of his own, with how what he brought seemed to build off the few that Logan selected to take. Excluding the food, which was always replaced with new food despite the fact that he’d never touched it. 

His hidden nook got crowded quickly, and he expanded it to a few other trees, careful to keep the precious items safe from rain or mold. 

His curiosity about his human also grew with each passing day, learning small things about him from his daily chattering. He was going to college, which was what he was studying for, and he lived with another human named Virgil. He was incredibly forgetful, and whenever he forgot an item, he would politely request it back and then count down from sixty with his back turned and his hands covering his eyes. 

The first time he did this, he was sorely disappointed, seeing as there was no way Logan would fall for such a trap, not even when baited by Patton calling him shy, which he most certainly was not. 

The next day, however, found his human delighted by the return of his ‘keychain,’ and Logan continued to tell himself that he was simply being practical, since the item had no discernible use. His human’s smile had nothing to do with it. 

Eventually, he started to get sloppy. When things were too large, he snuck them back home. When Patton lost his keys and did his customary turn-around-and-count gesture, he dropped them from the trees and fluttered barely a safe distance away to watch him reclaim them. Worst of all, he became… almost relaxed in Patton’s presence. 

This lapse in caution was the only explanation he had for what happened next. 

He had been running late, held up by one of his teacher’s lectures, and so cut through a swath of trees nearer to the road in order to arrive at their customary meeting spot. 

Once he got close, he spotted something glinting in the grass. Normally, he’d assume it was another stray bit of litter and move on, but with Patton, one never knew when the human would accidentally lose something, or where. He sighed and dipped down to land, squinting at the… wire? Next to a pile of sunflower seeds? 

Distracted as he was by the unnatural sight, he didn’t notice the top netted part of the trap until it slammed down on top of him, triggered by the shifting plate underneath his feet. 

The impact knocked all the air from his lungs, leaving him wheezing and thrashing weakly under the mesh. He forced himself through a breathing pattern, over and over until it no longer felt like he was choking on nothing. His overwhelming panic calmed momentarily, he shoved against the trap with his wings, grunting in frustration when the bound edges of the net didn’t even budge. 

There was no question about it. This had to be a human trap, and he didn’t want to be in it when the human came to collect. 

A bit more desperately, he wrapped his hands around the edges of the trap’s thick wiring and pried at it, cursing when his foot slipped and plunged through the holes in the bottom netting. 

Before he could wrench it free, he felt a distant, rhythmic rumble in the ground. It grew louder and closer, and a chill ran down his spine as his movements became frantic. 

As soon as the giant boots creating the noise stepped into view, his whole body froze up, as though back in the clearing on the first day Patton showed up. 

Seeing a human from the ground was so much worse. His body began to tremble uncontrollably as the human approached the trap with easy steps, each one heavy enough to trample him into dust. 

The stranger was wearing a dusky camo jacket and bristle across his jaw, but Logan’s attention was entirely riveted on the long, serrated hunting knife in his hand. 

“Shh, little thing. You’ll be f-- what…” 

Logan heard the exact moment the man realized that he hadn’t caught a bird, and he resisted the urge to curl into a ball and hide behind his wings as a huge gloved hand approached. It gathered the netting of the trap up into a makeshift bag with him stuck in the center. Logan writhed against the hold, his breathing becoming quick and shallow once again as he stared at the knife. 

“Easy, little thing,” the hunter muttered absently, turning his hand this way and that to see Logan’s ensconced form better. “What are you?” 

Logan shuddered at the fascination in his eyes, pushing out against the net despite the fact that there was no way he could beat those massive fingers. 

His silence cracked as soon as those same digits pinched down roughly on his wing, spreading it to its full wingspan. 

“Agh! Let go!” he yelled, body shaking as the muscles in his shoulder were overextended. The man released him, more out of surprise than anything else. 

“You can talk? Incredible!” The man prodded at him again. “Go on, say something else.” 

Logan opened his mouth to say something that he would likely regret, but a different voice spoke first. A familiar one.

“Hello? Is someone over here?” Patton asked, pushing a low branch out of his way as he peered over at the hunter. 

The hunter jumped, and for a second Logan believed he’d be shoved in a pocket, but the man seemed to decide showing off took precedence. He held Logan out slightly, net and all. “Take a look at this!”

Patton stepped closer, the furrow in his brow growing as his gaze fell onto Logan. His body vibrated harder with terror, betraying him easily at the sight of two humans looking at him. 

“Um, did you… catch him?” Patton asked, voice hesitant. 

The hunter barely seemed to notice. “Sure did… I was trying for-- well, it doesn’t matter, this is better. I think it can imitate human speech!” 

Logan felt another shudder run through him, and Patton’s soft brown eyes found his. 

“I think… I think you should let him go,” Patton blurted, surprising all of them. He drew himself up, nodding once. “You’re not supposed to be hunting here at all, anyhow.” 

The hunter’s grip on Logan tightened, and a strangled whine escaped his throat without his permission. “Man, you actually pay attention to that conservation notice? This place is abandoned, park rangers haven’t checked on it in years. Finders, keepers as far as I’m concerned.” 

“That doesn’t apply to people that can talk!” Patton protested, stepping closer with his hands lifted placatingly. “Look, just let him out, okay? I won’t report you to the authorities if you take your traps and leave.”

The hunter snorted, gesturing vaguely with his knife. “Yeah, right. I’m a careful guy. They’re not going to find anything that I don’t want them to find, and with the money that this,” he lifted Logan slightly, “will bring in, I won’t have to worry about cops anyways.

“You don’t have any leverage over me, so turn around and mind yourself before you get in trouble,” the hunter finished, turning on his heel and beginning to walk away. Logan, ironically enough, felt a thrum of panic at leaving the other human behind. He wasn’t entirely sure that two bickering humans were better than one malignant one, but it certainly felt that way at the moment. 

Footsteps thumped loudly behind them, and the hunter whirled on his heel in time for Patton to catch both his wrists, Logan grunting as he was tossed about in the net. 

“What are you--?”

“Let him go, now!” Patton was frowning, arms visibly straining with the effort it took to keep the other man’s hands still. Logan stared down at the dizzying drop beneath him, wondering if it would kill him on impact if he was dropped now.

“You little--!” The hunter pried his knife-wielding hand free, and Logan watched as Patton swung his now unoccupied hand back and slammed it against the side of the hunter’s head, cupped right over his ear. 

The man cried out and fell back, his grip on the net loosening, and Logan felt as though he was near heart failure as a new pair of hands gently closed around him, prying the trap away from the hunter. 

Patton - for who else could it be - brought his hands close to his chest and bolted, making everything around Logan bounce rhythmically. He eventually pressed close to one of those large palms and clung to the edge of a finger, his head aching with the abrupt motions. He’d been ‘rescued’ from one human, but now he was securely in the hands of another. 

No matter what Patton said, he was still a human. It had to be some sort of trap, some long con that he was trying and failing not to fall for. 

The movements came to a stop with one final thud as Patton’s knees hit the ground, breathing heavily. Moments later, the hands surrounding him cracked open like a bird’s egg, sunlight pouring in. 

Above him, Patton was flushed with exertion, and he was still breathing deep as he spoke. “Are you okay, little bird?” 

His face creased with concern as Logan stared up at his giant features, body frozen like a deer before a mountain lion. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you, I swear. It’s gonna be okay.” 

It was a ridiculous claim for a human to make, but he found himself relaxing fractionally anyhow. 

“I’m gonna- um, take this off of you, okay? I’m gonna get you out of there, don’t worry.” Patton shifted him delicately to one palm, wincing at the way Logan’s wings flapped ineffectively, and began to carefully pry the net open. The trap which had given him so much trouble was barely an obstacle for a human. Logan shifted uncomfortably as Patton untangled it.

“How- how did you know?” he asked, since his mouth had never known when to stay quiet. To Patton’s credit, he didn’t even blink at the question or the tiny winged person it had come from.

“It was just a guess!” Patton offered, a grimace crossing his face briefly. “I normally feel like I’m being watched when I’m out in that clearing, but today there was nothing, so… I got worried. Oh, unless you’re asking about the ear clap. My best friend signed me up for a self-defense class, because I… uh, ‘have a marshmallow heart’ and I’m ‘exceedingly liable to get into trouble,’ allegedly.”

It felt like a fairly accurate assessment. 

“There we go,” Patton managed, finally getting the net completely open. Logan bolted for the exit before he could change his mind, spreading his wings as soon as he was in the open air and gaining some distance before turning. 

Patton hadn’t moved from his spot. He was smiling, bright like his smiles when Logan helped him, and Logan couldn’t help but flutter a bit closer and return the gesture, so grateful for this strange, kind human. 

“Glad… I’m glad you’re okay,” Patton said, and then winced, a hand dropping to his side. 

When he pulled his hand away, it was glistening with blood. They both blinked at it for a moment, smiles faltering, and then Logan followed his gaze down to where a dark stain was spreading slowly through his shirt and jacket. He realized suddenly that Patton, one hand busy keeping Logan secure and the other busy boxing the hunter’s ear, hadn’t gotten away from the man unscathed. 

In the process of rescuing him, his human had been stabbed.

“Oh,” Patton said weakly, and then his eyes rolled back in his head and he fell into a dead faint.

[amydancepants-peralta]

Could you write a fic about the cold open of 7×04 and what actually wouldve happened if terry wasnt in his office 😂 (By the way i love your content!)

I definitely can!  (Did I spend the majority of today writing this, and very little else?  Yes I did.  Was it a valuable use of my time?  Absolutely.)

Rated NSFW - and also available on AO3 if you’d prefer. 👮🏽‍♀️

oh captain, my captain

With a satisfied hum Amy adjusts the last pile of paperwork on the desk, nudging it slightly to the left so that it sits perfectly perpendicular with both the right and bottom edges of the wood grained surface.  Double checking that all breakable items have been stored away for safekeeping, she stands in the centre of the captain’s office once done, folding her arms across the front of her chest as she allows herself a cursory nod of approval. 

There’s an anxious energy running through to the tip of her right foot, and the steady tick of clock on the wall reminds her of the metronome that used to accompany every music lesson she took in high school.  Briefly, she wonders if her and Jake’s son will play an instrument as well.   

Her nerves are racing, and she’s barrelling towards a severe case of paranoia; but logically she knows that her plan is sound, so Amy runs through several key points in her head, one last time:

1: Scully and Hitchcock’s recent hare-brained plan to build and cook a Mega Pizza at their desk (their mourning period from the pizza vending machine finally coming to an end) had resulted in a small fire and the complete short-wiring of all electrical equipment on the fourth floor, rendering the bullpen and all surrounding offices completely useless,

2: Budget cuts meant that the repair crew would not be in for two more days, and due to the lack of security and surveillance, the floor had been cut off from access entirely - except for Sergeant Santiago, whom they’d trusted would hold the keys to each stairwell in safekeeping, and

3: The growing baby in her uterus has set her hormones onto an all-time high, and if there was any chance for this fantasy to come to life, it was right. now. 

Adjusting the tucked in edges of her version of work attire, Amy fiddles with the toy captain’s badge that she had clipped to the front.  It wasn’t nearly as shiny as the real thing, and was far too light to feel legitimate, but there was still a sliver of joy that ran down her spine whenever she looked at it attached to her chest.  One day, hopefully not too far from now, the real thing would be there permanently.

Flicking her wrist upwards, she looks at watch without ever registering the time.  It was relatively late in the evening and she had texted Jake fifteen minutes ago, explaining that she was finishing up some duties in the precinct and needed some help moving some heavy boxes around in Terry’s office.  Like the sweet and dutiful husband she knew him to be, he had responded within seconds, an emoji filled text message telling her that he was on his way.  

He had been so supportive the past five months - supportive for their entire relationship, if she really thought about it - stocking up on the one brand of tea that didn’t make her feel sick, offering regular back and foot rubs, drawing baths with just the right amount of hot water and bubbles, and complimenting her body with such sincerity that even on her worst days, Amy had still felt a little bit desirable.  He honestly had been exactly the kind of charming husband that she knew he would be, and she couldn’t wait to see him turn into an equally wonderful father to their son.  

She glances at the clock on the wall and sighs, shifting the captain’s hat she’s been holding to her left hand before placing it carefully on her head.  He just needs to work on his punctuality.  

Finally, she can hear the telltale squeak of his favourite sneakers, growing louder as he moves further into the bullpen, and only moments later he calls out - “Ames?” 

“In here!” Amy yells in response, adjusting the stark white blouse one last time and putting on her best Power Pose as she waits.  His steps are faster now that he knows where to go, and as he opens the door and sees his wife standing before him in a makeshift captain’s uniform, Jake’s eyes turn as wide as saucers.  

“Babe?”

“Detective Peralta.  It’s about time you got here.  Close the door.”

With his eyebrows flickering upwards, Jake blinks a few times before responding, the blinds rattling slightly at the force of his movement.  “Yes, ma’am, I apologise for the delay.  I got caught up in - ”

“Spare me the details, detective.  We can discuss your issues with time management later.  There are more important matters at hand.”

His posture straightens and he nods, and a familiar twinkle begins to show in those beautiful brown eyes.  

Focus, Amy.

“It’s come to my attention recently that, despite previous scenarios that have held similar elements, there still appears to be a pressing need for the reality to occur.”  She can see Jake suppressing a grin, and holds her ground as he starts walking towards her.  “And while said earlier exercises have held a very high success rate, it would seem as though sometimes there is just no substitute for the real thing.”

Jake stops just in front of her, close enough that Amy can smell that intoxicating mix of cologne and their fabric softener and Jake.  His grin hasn’t faded - if anything, it’s grown - and he grips his hands behind his back like a dutiful officer of the law.  While his eyes trace up and down her body, taking in the uniform, his grin turns into a full-blown beam, and after he beat he leans forward to whisper -  “You want me to fuck you in the Captain’s Office?”

She nods, quick and stern, and corrects his inflection.  “I’m going to fuck you in the Captain’s Office.”

His breath is warm against her cheek as he lets out a grunted hell yeah, pressing his lips against hers a mere second later.  Warm hands are wrapped around her waist, and hers curl around his neck as the need to be as close as possible to him overthrows the need to play pretend, and when his tongue massages hers Amy cannot help but let out a contented sigh.  

His face has taken on That Look when they finally pull apart, that I’m so turned on look that Amy loves to see (but really, she loves all of his faces, and damn anyone who says that makes her a lovestruck fool), and her heart begins to race at the anticipation of what’s to come.

They’d only been dating a few weeks the first time they tried this; a pared down version of role play with Jake using his very best authoritative captain’s voice and turning Amy on so quickly that the resulting sex had led to multiple orgasms for both.  For their one year anniversary (a date that had been delayed slightly by a temporary Floridian residence), he had set up the reading room in her apartment to be an almost exact replica of Holt’s office, and proceeded to fuck her on every single available surface.  It was a treasured memory, and one that rated very high on her list of Favourite Sexy Timez, and even to this day she cannot read a book in there without getting turned on just a little bit by the thought of it.

Over the years they’d branched out into various role plays, with a special section of their closet dedicated specifically to the costumes they’ve acquired along the way, and while Jake has definitely seen Amy in this captain’s uniform before she’s fairly certain that this change of scenery into something far more real is going to turn him even more than usual.

Lord knows it has definitely worked out that way for her.

His hands have stayed on her waist, and with a grin he yanks her closer, pressing his hips into hers.  Yep.  It’s definitely working for him too.

He pulls her in for another kiss, and as much as she wants to let him, there are a few important details that the need to iron out first, and so Amy presses her hands against the grey shirt that lay underneath his open flannel.

“There needs to be a few quick rules before we go through with this, Peralta.”

“Whatever it is, I’m going to say yes.”

“Obviously.”  She raises her hand, pointing her index finger upwards.  “Rule one, what happens in here never leaves these four walls.”

Jake nods.  “No doubt.  Rule two, I get to replay this in my mind whenever I feel like it.”  His hands slide lower, gripping her butt gently.  “And babe, I’m gonna feel like it a lot.”

Smiling, Amy shakes her head.  “Rule number three.”  She leans in, grabbing the open panels of his shirt and pulling him closer.  “You’ve gotta make me scream, babe.”

He grins, that sexy smirk that once only belonged in the bedroom but over the years has progressed to closets, kitchens, living rooms and even once an elevator with the emergency break on.  “Yes, Captain.”

Oh, mama.  Her breath catches in her chest, and Amy can feel her eyes widen as she looks up at her husband, the facade temporarily stripped away as she speaks.  “Say it again.”

Jake leans in this time, moving his hands to rest two fingers against his forehead, pushing them away quickly in a faux salute, and ohhhh mama.  “At your command, Captain Santiago.”

Her lips are pressed against his before another thought can be made, the amount of desire running through her veins providing more than enough fuel for Amy to get the fire started.  Jake’s hands move just as quickly, wrapping around her waist and pulling her closer before tugging at the blouse that she had tucked so perfectly into place.  Moaning into Jake’s mouth, Amy shuffles them backwards, casting both of his shirts to the floor and feeling the edge of the desk scrape along her thighs as they make their way to the tall leather chair that has held such power in so many moments.  

Jake pushes her against the desk before they can get there, digging his fingers into her ass with such ferocity that Amy feels the blood rush in for repair at his release, and when his hands move up to undo her buttons she lets out another encouraging moan into his mouth.  It had been a passing joke when Jake had misinterpreted her request, months ago on the morning of the Jimmy Jabs, but Amy would be lying if she said there hadn’t been a frisson of excitement run down her spine at the suggestion of it, and now that it was finally happening, she couldn’t wait to get to the good stuff.

A rush of cool air hits her overheated skin as Jake flicks open the last button on her blouse, shoving the panels to the side and letting out an appreciative sigh at what he finds underneath.  She knew him to be a fan of the curves that her pregnancy has blessed her with - particularly when it came to her boobs - and Amy had done her due diligence in researching a front clasping bra specifically for this occasion.  It was nude in colour - work appropriate of course, even if this particular uniform is technically a costume - and had just enough padding and lace to make her chest look incredibly inviting.  

“Ames,” Jake whispers, eyes bright with attraction as he leans down to begin a trail of kisses against her bare skin, scraping his teeth along her collarbone.  Carding her fingers through his hair, Amy uses her right hand to reach in-between Jake’s chest and hers, undoing the clasp in a practiced move and Jake sighs in approval at the sudden change of pace.  His hands move lower; undoing her navy blue slacks as his tongue laps gently at each of her nipples, already aware of the sensitivity that she’s begun to experience there, but tonight all of her nerves are on high alert in other places, and so Amy digs her fingernails into Jake’s hair in silent encouragement to continue.  

He lets out another moan, the sensation of his voice vibrating against her skin as he leaves a gentle bite underneath one breast, lifting her hips up slightly to push her slacks towards the floor.  Amy kicks off her shoes quickly and Jake follows her lead, listening for the heavy thunk as both hers and his hit the ground.  She lets her hands linger along the bulge of her husband’s biceps as they wander lower, undoing the button and fly of Jake’s jeans as his lips move back up towards hers for a heated kiss.

His hands roam along the curve of her belly, touch turning incredibly soft as he traces the gentle swell where their son is currently growing.  He’s been so incredibly enamoured with watching Amy’s body grow, making it a daily ritual to kiss both her and her bump good morning and good night and making Amy’s heart flutter just a little bit each time.  Some nights he rests his head against her abdomen as they lay together on the couch, and on lazy mornings when getting out of bed seems like way too much of an effort he will shuffle down the mattress, leaning in to tell their baby boy the story of how he and Amy met, peppering the moments with truly terrible dad jokes that she just knows he’s been storing up for future reference.  

“You really are my dream girl,”  Jake mumbles against her cheek as he kisses a path towards her earlobe, nipping gently at the hypersensitive spot that only he knows about just below.  Amy’s responding giggle turns into a gasp as he does so, and she grips the waist of his jeans and pushes them down as far as her position will allow, waiting for Jake to pull back slightly so that he can take care of the rest of the material.

The chair moves back into her eye line as Jake shakes the last leg of his jeans off, and Amy rises from her perched position on the edge of the desk to meet her husband, planting her palms square against his chest as she shoves him backwards.  His butt lands square on the seat as he lets out a surprised yelp, and she grins.  “Now I’ve got you exactly where I wanted you, detective.”

He lets out a soft laugh, his arousal obvious in the unusual gruffness of his voice (and the sizeable bulge in his boxers), opening his arms out in silent invitation - and it’s one that Amy is very willing to respond to.  She moves towards Jake, resting one hand along the top of the chair as she plants one knee on the cushion beneath them, and then pauses.

“Wait … the arms on this don’t move.  Can you - ”

“Uh … what if I - ”

“Oof.  Okay let me just put my knee - ow, babe!”

“Sorry!  I think maybe if ..”

“This belly doesn’t make things … How about - Oh god no, my back!”

Out of nowhere, Jake bursts into laughter, the absolute ridiculousness of the situation causing his chest to bounce with joviality.  His hands are resting against Amy’s back, low enough to support her movements as she laughs along with him, tucking her head into his neck as the tears streak down her face.  In mere seconds, all of the tension dissipates, and that is a skill that only someone like her husband could possess.  

Amy rests her hands against Jake’s dancing shoulders, sliding her palms up to cup his jawline, taking in his infectious smile and oh how she loves this man.  Both of their pants are on the floor of their superior’s office, her shirts is wide open and Jake’s hair is all over the place from her fingers running through it, but she feels as comfortable right here as she would if they were at home on their couch.  

She loves Jake Peralta for a lot of reasons, and that was never going to change.  

Bending slightly lower Amy tips the captains cap back and drops her forehead to rest against Jake’s, leaving a soft kiss against the bridge of his nose as their laughter begins to trickle to a stop, and it’s only a second later that he moves his head to capture her lips with his own.  It’s a simple kiss, the sweetness of it all proving to be too much for Amy as they part, and she strokes Jake’s right cheek with her hand stating the most simples of truths: “I love you.”

His cheeks flush slightly as he looks up at her in utter adoration, right hand sliding along her outer thigh as he replies.  “I love you too, Ames.”  Shifting his body ever so slightly, Jake digs his fingers into her skin and continues.  “Here, rest your weight on this leg .. I have an idea how we can make this work.”

“I’m still not going to be able t-ohhhhh.”  The protest dies in the back of Amy’s mouth as Jake’s fingers push her underwear to the side, the angle of her half standing position giving him easy access to where she really wants him.   He circles her clit slowly, watching her lungs expand and contract as he slowly gains speed, and as Amy moves her hands to his shoulders, Jake dips his middle finger inside.  Her breath hitches, and he pulls out before returning, once with two fingers and then again with three.  

“So wet, babe.  You’ve been thinking about this a lot, huh?”  Jake’s lips are pushing against Amy’s before she can answer, and the feeling of his fingers pumping in and out of her takes all response away from her, letting her tongue push against his in response instead.  

She comes to when he finally pulls away, taking in a shuddering breath before throwing him a withering stare for a millisecond, stating “You were ten minutes late, Peralta.”  Pulling him back in for another kiss Amy sinks her teeth into his lower lip in admonishment, and Jake’s responding groan vibrates again her chest.  She smiles when they part, running her hand through his hair and tugging gently at the roots.  “I had to think about something to pass the time.”

“Mmm,” Jake moans, tucking his head into Amy’s neck as his fingers move faster, “Let me make that up to you, babe.”  He makes no hesitation in twisting his wrist, circling his thumb around in the small, rapid circles that he does so expertly.  It’s a well-practised move, one performed only two days ago when he crowded her up against the kitchen sink and pushed her over the edge while they waited for their coffee to finish brewing. 

His fingers stop pumping, pushing in deep and holding still while slightly crooked.  Jake grins up at her as his thumb doubles down in intensity, and Amy tightens her thighs against his wrist as she comes with a stuttered gasp, a mumbled version of her husband’s name falling from her lips as her shaking legs release him from her grip.  She giggles softly (at least, as much as her racing lungs will allow her) and grabs Jake’s hand as he pulls away, pulling it towards her lips and sucking gently on his fingers, sighing in satisfaction at the taste of her arousal.  “Consider yourself forgiven.”

His hand falls from her grasp, and Jake stretches himself up to kiss Amy, gripping his arms around her lower back tightly as he lifts off of the chair, stumbling back towards the desk and resting her butt against the surface once he feels the hard wood press against his thighs.

“I need to be inside you,” he mumbles between hot kisses as his fingers grip the top of her panties, and Amy lifts her hips again to help the fabric disappear faster.  He makes quick work of his own boxers once her underwear is on the floor - and honestly Amy has fantasised about giving Jake a blowjob in this office enough times that she genuinely had planned to do so - but all the hormones that her body was producing right now had turned her into a horny mess and she, too, needed him inside her now.

Spreading her legs as Jake moves in between them, Amy raises her hand up and pulls away the captains hat that she’d managed to keep on until now, resting it on the surface before planting her hands behind her body for support.  She smiles up at Jake as he groans with lust, pumping his wrist up and down his cock while his tongue darts out to moisten the edge of his mouth.  “You truly are the sexiest woman alive, you know that right?”

She nods, and Jake leans in for a kiss, tongue slipping into her mouth as he pushes his cock inside, fingers digging into her hips before resting beside hers on the desk.  This time it’s Amy’s turn to moan as Jake begins to pump slowly, getting both of them used to this unfamiliar position, and honestly every thrust already feels incredible.  

He watches her with the careful eyes of a well-trained detective, but also that of an attentive husband (both of them had discovered that once pregnant, Amy’s body gave different reactions to things that used to work so well), and she gives Jake an encouraging nod of her head as he begins to pick up speed.  She couldn’t tell if it was the angle that the desk presented, or the fact that there were doing it in the captain’s office, but everything felt fucking amazing and she could already feel her body beginning to respond.

“Oh god Jake, yes …”  Bending back on both hands Amy tents her knees, resting her heels precariously along the edge of the desk and letting her body bounce to the rhythm of Jake’s thrusts as all of nerve endings begin to come alive.  The various collegiate novels and industry awards that are lined up on the shelves behind Jake catch her eye, and the sheer illicitness of what they are doing feels better than she could have possibly anticipated.  They should have done this years ago.  Her husband’s right hand moves to cup one of breasts, pushing the heel of his palm along the bottom just the way she likes, and the pressure feels so good that she lets out a gentle moan.  His fingers move further, circling her sensitive nipple with his thumb and only weeks ago an action like that would have had her screaming in pain, but thank god her body has adjusted to these changes because NOW it feels like he’s lighting a match with every stroke, pushing her closer and closer to combustion.  “Yes!  Harder, babe!”

Jake’s breath is hot against her neck as he leaves a series of slopping kisses, dropping one to her mouth before pulling away, breathless.  “You feel so good Ames, so hot … I can’t believe we’re fucking in the captain’s office.  Fuck I love you.”

Amy moves her head back up slightly, eager to watch her husband as he moves closer to the point of no return, and the sight of his beautiful face as he thrusts harder and harder makes Amy call out his name, circling one leg around his lower body in silent encouragement for more.  Glancing behind her quickly, Amy grips the edge of the captain’s hat from the desk, using her thumb to rotate it within her grasp and places it onto Jake’s head with a cheeky grin.  It seems to spur him on, her body rocking against the desk with every single thrust as he increases the intensity, that determined look that she loves so much falling onto his face as he pushes harder and faster. 

Amy lets her hand slide back down his chest, pinching his right nipple as she goes before heading straight for her clit, holding on to Jake’s steady gaze as she begins to move her fingers in the rapid circles that never fail to get her off.  She doesn’t want this to end, but her first orgasm had felt so. good! and she was absolutely ready for another.  The handles on the desk drawers beneath them begin to rattle as Jake really begins to hammer into her, clearly racing towards climax as he mouths Ames over and over.  

The sensation of it all becomes too much a couple of minutes later and Amy cranes her neck back, calling out her husband’s name as another orgasm takes over her body, the delicious rush of it all making her giggle nonsensically.  From above her, Jake moans as Amy’s insides pulse around him, and when she drops her chin to watch him he grips her butt in both hands, pulling her as close as the bump will allow and changing the angle completely.   

His pubic bone rubs against her clit with every forceful pump from this new position, and even though Amy’s just had an orgasm and she would normally be oversensitive by this point, she’s also incredibly turned on - and as Jake’s thrusts continue she grips her other leg around his waist, holding on to him with nothing but her lower body as another wave washes over her.  This time proves to be too much for Jake as he follows her over the edge, digging his fingers into her skin and calling out her name as he releases everything he has.   

It takes a while for either of them to come down from the high, with only the sound of panting breaths and gentle kisses filling the room.  Slowly they part, holding out items of clothing to the other as they begin to put themselves back together, adding in a lingering touch every time one of them is near enough.  

They clear away the evidence of their tryst with the practiced efficiency of a team that know each other inside and out (because really, that’s the only way you could describe their partnership by now), and Jake pulls Amy in for one last lingering kiss as he fastens the top button of his jeans.

“Alright babe, I’m just gonna grab a few things from my desk while I can get to it, and then let’s go home, yeah?”

Amy nods, running her hand along her ponytail and quickly deciding it probably needs to be redone.  “Yep, I’ll be right out.  Oh, and Jake?” 

He turns at the doorway, one hand still gripping the outside frame, and Amy takes deliberately strong steps towards him.  Grabbing him by the collar, she yanks him in hard and fast for a swift kiss, pulling away before he can even try to deepen it.  There’s a flustered look on his face as they part, which when matched with his I just had sex hair makes him all the more adorable, and Amy gives him a quick wink before pushing him out completely.

“Dismissed.” 

[judyhopps934-mt-zd]

Thoughts on Kwamibusters

Warning: Spoilers! That's all.

Plagg's cheese addiction goes too far to the point that he leaves Adrien's bag and heads to Mrs. Mendeleiev's class.

And wait, there's more! Tikki tries to talk some sense into Plagg because he apparently does this EVERY DAY! I swear, his cheese addiction has gone too far! He even calls it "magic cheese" that "reappears" everyday!

At some point, Mrs. Mendeleiev apparently spotted Plagg because she apparently had this all set up: hiding behind the desk with a net and saying "I got you now" or some sort of variation of that.

While trying to catch Tikki and Plagg, Mrs. Mendeleiev had made a fool of herself and made the Miracu-class wonder what was going on. Which is a mood when one hears a thud. Then there's Miss Bustier, who tries to get their attention, which is a teacher's mood. Overall, that was all a mood.

Tikki and Plagg (to some extent) should be fortunate that Kwamis cannot be captured on video or photographically because apparently, Mrs. Mendeleiev had set up a camera. But they are obviously not off the hook as Mrs. Mendeleiev saw them.

More Tikki and Marinette bonding please! I like how Marinette sees Tikki as the one friend she can be real with. Reminds me of my dynamic with my best friend in which we are honest with each other.

Plagg being on the roof was mood. He just chilling there as if nothing has happened. But don't worry. Tikki reminds him that they are in danger of exposing their owners' identities and in danger themselves.

"What's the worst that could happen?" Plagg, Plagg, Plagg. You truly are calm in a situation that has dire consequences. But let me explain that later.

Mrs. Mendeleiev apparently goes as far as to appear in Alternative Truth TV: Where nothing is really true or false. This Plagg. This is the worst that could happen.

Kim being obsessed with the show is relatable. Him acting as the talk show host was fun to watch and he annoys Mr. Damocles in the process. An added bonus. He's asked to sit and be quiet so many times. Couldn't help but laugh.

He's also super energetic about Mrs. Mendeleiev's appearance on the show and cheers on for Alix's brother as well.

I understand Alix being annoyed with her brother for being on the show to prove that Egyptian Pyramids are actually spaceships. I hope my brother never does this otherwise I am moving to another country and changing my surname. She's barely holding it together and I felt some secondhand embarrassment. Why must her brother do this?

I am not surprised that Adrien and Marinette are shocked that Mrs. Mendeleiev discovered their kwamis with an accurate description. Interdimensional beings that can go through matter and like aged cheese (I'm looking at you Plagg!)

Adrien saw Marinette leave during the show. Reasons for suspicion are starting to pour in.

And can we talk about the drawings? That went from 0-100 real quick. Their thought might be "Definitely my kwami".

And I gotta say, Mrs. Mendeleiev has better artistic skills than me. I am really bad at drawing.

Marinette for the first time in a while was not the one that had to learn a lesson. This time its Tikki who learns a lesson. We've never seen Tikki be reprimanded before, so take notes.

I seriously love the bond between Mari and Tikki. They are willing to forgive each other for their mistakes, no matter how serious the consequences are.

Mari also figures out that Chat Noir attends Francois-Dupont and that he must be one of the boys after Tikki mentioned Plagg. But withheld from trying to uncover more so she would not have to give up her Miraculous.

Which reminds me: WHEN DID IT BECOME PART OF THE RULES THAT IF EITHER ONE OF THE HEROES IN OUR FAVORITE DUO THAT THEY HAVE TO GIVE UP THEIR MIRACULOUS???? It was initially for security reasons that they would not reveal their identities, but if it's by accident, they still have to give up their Miraculous???? There's a major plot hole here that I'm gonna keep thinking about and no I will not stop internally screaming.

And another thing, Marinette seemed very sad about the idea of relinquishing her Miraculous. The sense of responsibility and the feeling of saving Paris I feel gave her a sense of serving a purpose. I mean who else would feel like they are serving a purpose by being a superhero, savior of [insert place]? What I'm trying to say in my confusing sentence is that she enjoys (to a great extent) being Ladybug and does not want to give that up.

Before we get to the Adrien and Plagg moment, the panel of judges for Alternative Truth believed Alix's brother with a 3/3 vote, but Ms. Mendeleiev did not get any votes, making her statement false. She does not take this well. (Because why would she take it well? She was humiliated on TV for goodness sake?) This is when she gets akumatized and Hawkmoth tells her what they are called.

Alya feels embarrassed for Mrs. Mendeleiev, whereas Chloé was humiliated for herself because Ms. Mendeleiev is her teacher??? Your teacher was humiliated on TV, so stop making it about you Chloé!

And speaking of Chloé, how did she not recognize Tikki and connect the dots??? I saw on Tumblr and on the YouTube comments that in "Princess Fragrance", she met Tikki and found out that she belonged to Marinette. She would've been able to figure out that Tikki is a kwami and Marinette is one of the superheroes at the very least. But then again, Ms. Mendeleiev's drawing was...okay.

Adrien just jumped in and said Plagg was irresponsible (me). And how did Plagg react? He was like "Kwamis can never be caught" and basically called him and Tikki party poopers. (Well, he called Tikki Sugarcube, so that leads to my next point).

He figures out that Ladybug is someone he knows already at school. This is when Plagg panics.

Adrien and Marinette leave the bathroom at the same time and Adrien noticed Mari, but both run back when they hear the news alert.

Back to Mendeleiev, she turns into Kwamibuster, which is obviously the paradoy reference to Ghostbusters (if you are into that sort of thing). And speaking of references, she reminded some of us about Mr. Crocker from Fairy Odd Parents. Although she is not the crazy lunatic that Crocker is.

May I mention that the screen was split and we ended up getting a united look at the news, with one half of the screen being from Mari's end and the other half from Adrien. I loved that so much! Can we get more of that please?

Before Adrien transforms, he asks Plagg if Marinette was Ladybug. YES YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT! Oblivious Adrien figured it out and was happy about the thought. And Plagg RUINED EVERYTHING! He was like "NoooOoo" and gave the speech that figuring out Ladybug's identity means giving up his Miraculous. Also, note how he was anxious to be sucked into the ring. And we know how Plagg normally feels about it. Also, his advice: ignore the problem. For once, that's actually good advice.

Ladybug saves Alec (I believe that's his name) from falling 50 feet from the safe and he gets out of the safe, seemingly star struck that Ladybug saved him. Either he was in shock from almost dying or from being saved by an icon. This was something new to watch since normally everyone else does not shout "Ladybug saved me!" in the way he did. I might be overthinking it.

"Ladybug defies the laws of science." -> Chat Noir. This was his best entrance line in my opinion.

Ladybug and Chat Noir argued over whose kwami is responsible for this mess. Ladybug's argument is that Plagg was irresponsible. Chat's argument was that Tikki was there too. Ladybug's rebuttal was that Tikki was trying to keep Plagg in line and that Chat and Plagg are a perfect match. You know if you think about it, superhero personality and kwami personality are sorta linked.

Ladybug gets zapped and detransforms. Chat goes to check up on her, but she says she's fine. He respects her privacy and helps her escape. See? Even Chat knows priorities. Although she would not have been caught if he didn't distract her from escaping Kwamibuster. (This is causation, I am in a Law and Society major, and I have a Criminal Law test next week. Moving on!)

Chat gets blasted too and escapes as well. And that leads us to...

...BANANA NOIR ORIGIN STORY! One of the hosts was wearing a banana suit, which Adrien found in the end to hide his identity while he escaped. And this is the origin story because...

...this episode took place before "Feast", where we see Banana Noir (I'm sorry, I'm still laughing.) Why do we know this? Because after Feast, Master Fu went on the run (to some extent). Marinette went to Master Fu's place in this episode to strategize.

Master Fu, I know you were the one who implemented the identity rule! I'm onto you!

Anyways, THIS IS THE MULTIMOUSE EPISODE! Marinette literally wore every single Miraculous that was in the Miracle Box, to which Master Fu warns that too much power could mess with her head. Now we wonder if Emeline wore the Butterfly and Peacock Miraculous at the same time and something went wrong??

But we know Marinette well enough that we should trust her with her plans. I mean to echo Wayzz, Marinette had never let them down. Also, there were some Miraculous that were worn only to free the kwamis so that they'd help her.

MULTIMOUSE TRANSFORMATION ROCKS!!! I STAN! (This is just as awesome as Lady Noire's transformation)

This excitement is short-lived though because Multimouse ends up feeling lightheaded when she was about to head out. But she rises and marches forward. YOU GO GIRL!

The Kwami Swarm (Stampede?) comes flying in, to the delight of Kwamibuster and Hawkmoth.

Multimouse introduces herself separate of Ladybug, though she is flattered. Adrien trusts her to get Plagg back, which is awesome!

[Kwami 1], [Kwami 2]: unify! The unification of the Miraculous was AWESOME!

Multimouse (well, a few of her copies) were captured on purpose so she could unify with Plagg was the most genius idea ever!

The one with Chat's Ring returned it to him so he would no longer be in the Banana costume, which he was glad to ditch (even though he kept it in theory).

Mirage!

The mirage involved fixing everything and being able to show that Marinette was Multimouse, but a separate person from Ladybug. I sense the problem that because Marinette in a sense is Multimouse, Hawkmoth could use that to his advantage. But what is the possibility that she will be Multimouse again. Also, Chat was the only one there! So that's that.

Chat was like "I don't know what my kwami was doing at that elementary school." Ladybug in a sort of deadpanned tone: "It was a high school". I couldn't help but laugh. He said it was a high school before, he goes there, and it was the simplest plan to hide his identity compared to Ladybug's.

If Marinette and Ladybug were two different people, I'd ship them, no doubt. Chat, you got competition...

I am a bit annoyed at Chat because he wasn't able to recognize that Ladybug and Marinette look similar, but then again, he probably followed Plagg's advice so he'd be able to keep his Miraculous.

Mr. Cat. MR. CAT??? Excuse me Ms. Mendeleiev, but his name is Chat Noir, not Mr. Cat.

Thank you Chat for reminding Ms. Mendeleiev that she should keep it a secret for the sake of Paris. THANK YOU! Also, "wee!" as in "flying through the city is fun!" (Someone on YouTube pointed this out).

Now remember! The whole thing was a Mirage. That means the akuma wasn't purified yet and everything had yet to be repaired. This is when everything is fixed for real.

Few things to note: Marinette was tired before resorting everything to reality. She deserves a nap after this.

Also, the Lucky Charm this time was a bowl used to contain the Akuma. It is less convoluted than all the other Lucky Charmd from before. But then again, the whole plan was complex.

And to cap it all off, Marinette is the most powerful, smartest person in all of Paris, or even the world. She was mentally and physically capable of wielding multiple Miraculous at once and came up with the most genius plan with multiple moving parts. Our girl is making history in the Miraculous History books. In this essay, I will.

Overall, 10/10 because of Multimouse and Adrien hitting the jackpot on who is Ladybug. The one thing that ticked me off was the whole identity rule that seemingly came out of nowhere. Like where did that come from??? We could have had progress on the identity reveal, but no! It all has to be a secret. I feel like this will go on for the rest of the series. But everything else was awesome and I enjoyed it so much that I watched it three times today. And I spent 4 hours writing this.

[ty-talks-comics]

Best of Marvel: Week of December 4th, 2019

Best of this Week: Doctor Doom #3 - Christopher Cantwell, Salvador Larroca, Guru-eFX and Cory Petit

Doom is a very complex man.

He wants to be humanity’s savior, the one to see us lift ourselves up by our bootstraps and accomplish everything that he believes us capable of. At the same time, he wants to rule over it all as the supreme being over everything. His motivations are kinda good, but his methodology and lust for power will always be his downfall. For a man of immense intelligence and power, the only thing that trips him up is himself and it will always be that way, no matter how good he tries to be.

This issue starts off with Doctor Doom having a vision of the future. He sees a world made better by his own inentions, ideas that he might have hatched sometime after his accusation of terrorism from the first issue of this series if he had admitted himself to prison. Surprisingly, his face isn’t disfigured and he’s actually cordial with the crowd that’s allowed him to speak of solar skyscrapers and clean fuel. He seems like a calm, down to Earth, Victor Von Doom. However, amongst those in the crowd is current Doom himself, or what remains of him after being shot in the head in the last issue.

Salvador Larroca then switches from this bright, serene scene, to one of abject Heavy Metal terror as Doom climbs his way up from a sea of skulls in HELL. I cannot stress enough just how badass this art is. Larroca has always been good at visceral art and great backgrounds, but this scene alone is epic. There’s one wide, pulled out shot of a mound of maybe dinosaur bones and lightning crackling into the lava. The next pulls in to a pile of skulls placed against a mass of indeterminate flesh and organs. The next panel shows Doom’s hand breaking free of the pile and the last shows him crawling his way free of the skulls and flesh.

We then get one amazing shot of Doom in a badass set of armor surrounded by the flames, lava, skulls and lightning. Guru-eFX colors this in such a way that you feel the heat and intensity of the flames with hot oranges, the lightning is vibrant and dynamic and Doom stands above it all. His armor looks like something of a combination between a Dream Theater and Disturbed album cover. The use of shadows and lighting emphasize every detail and makes him look like the new biggest threat in Hell and he just strides through like a big dick G.

Eventually he comes upon Mephisto, former Ruler of Hell, and gloats that he finally has Doctor Doom’s soul for eternity. Doom is having none of this and punches Mephisto to the ground before picking him up by the throat, claiming that he was meant to save all of mankind and that he doesn’t belong in hell. Mephisto mocks him by saying that Doom did save his mother from the demon once upon a time (Doctor Doom & Doctor Strange: Triumph and Torment, 1989), but he then also sacrificed the love of his life for more power (Fantastic Four #67, 2003). He then snaps her soul into view of Doom to distract him.

Meanwhile, in Latveria, the political situation is the region is not getting any better as Symkaria is launching an assault with forces, tanks and artillery while NATO and the UN aren’t doing anything to stop it. Victorious is monitoring it all and notes that they plan to “stabilize” Latveria in Doom’s absence and retires to her quarters to clear her head. I do love stories of political intrigue and it’s clear to see how badly the moon base explosion is affecting Doom’s country with his people suffering because of the actions he’s accused of. It’s also interesting to see how Victorious is dealing with her newfound leadership. She gets angry and her generals listen to her, but even she has to relax after everything.

When she goes to her room, Larroca draws an intimate scene where she removes her armor and works out her stress. It shows a level of dedication to her own personal strength and alertness as she success out an assassin in her window. She tries to blast the assassin away, but misses, only for them to enter the room and put up a short fight with Victorious. The fight is dynamic and allows Victorious to show off her hand to hand skills in a small space. Both of these scenes are colored with the backgrounds a nice blue hue to contrast the frenetic action and sees Victorious winning the battle.

Though it pains me to say, Latveria is in a state of disarray because it doesn’t have Doom there to lead it. No one ever tried to send assassins to kill Doom, nor did they try to send forces to stabilize the region when he was around. Though Doom is the very pinnacle of tyranny in the Marvel Universe, every time he is away from his throne, the country goes into shambles. It happened under Lucia von Bardas, it happened when Doom disappeared following Secret Wars (2015) and it happened after Riri Williams seized control from a returning von Bardas and her insurgent force and tried to turn the country into a democracy (Iron Man, 2018).

For all the good that Victorious is doing and the order she’s trying to maintain, Latveria needs Doom.

Shortly after the assassination attempt, we cut back to Doom who is being tempted by the form of his former lover’s soul in hell. She calls him a monster and tries to persuade him to stay in hell with her, but when he refuses because of the visions he’s seen of a future where he saves humanity, it is revealed to be a trick by Mephisto. He rages at Doom for thinking that he will ever be free because of some “visions” that he had and Doom proceeds to beat his ass. Doom punches the Demon, stabs him in the neck with a bone and plunges both of them off of a cliff, into another ocean of skulls.

The fight could have gone on forever with these two, but is soon stopped by Mistress Death. Death usually only appears when mass deaths are incoming and she allows Doom to return to life. Mephisto kneels to her and protests that Doom should be his forever, but she replies that he will actually her greatest servant of all. In light of Thanos being dead and Deadpool not talking to her much anymore, this is a grim portent for Doom and the Universe at large. 

I absolutely loved this issue of Doctor Doom. With the history the villain has in Hell, seeing how he might fare there alone is actually metal as hell to see. His armor was badass and made him look like a steampunk knight and the way he held his own without it when he fought Mephisto showed just how much he believed in his vision. Seeing the political crisis that Latveria is facing is intriguing now that we see how they’re dealing with things internally. Christopher Cantwell manages to give Victorious some dimension that was only slightly explored in her first appearance in Fantastic Four earlier this year and makes her a compelling character in this book

Salvador Larroca and Guru-eFX absolutely slayed on the art. Larroca continues to stun with his visceral and detailed art, even managing to make a hoodie clad Doom look strong. His designs, action and pacing make this so much more appealing than I originally thought it would be. Guru-eFX's coloring only accentuates that feeling by eliciting strong emotions based on the hues used. I could feel just how hot and awful hell was through the oranges and I could feel the uncertainty of Victorious through the blues.

Overall, this issue of Doctor Doom and the series thus far is well deserving of a read. Because if you don't, Doom will find you.

[pluckyredhead]

Daredevil 101: Decalogue

Hoo, it’s been a while, huh? We’re almost done with Bendis, though. This arc is Daredevil v2 #71-75, Bendis/Maleev.

Content Warning: Suicide, sexual assault, self-mutilation, disturbing visual imagery. I do not show the panels depicting suicide in this post (though the methods are described) but they are in the comic itself, so please take care of yourselves if you decide to track this one down. Also, there’s some fucked-up Orientalism happening in here too. (Yes, this comic is from this century. Sigh.)

The setting: the basement of a church. The purpose: a support group for Hell’s Kitchen residents who have been affected by Matt essentially taking over the neighborhood:

(If you can’t read the text, the flyer is headlined “The Devil Among Us” and the pries is saying “Who would like to start today?”)

They begin discussing Daredevil-as-Kingpin, but one attendee immediately objects to that framing, saying that Matt never declared he was the Kingpin:

She then goes on to tell them that she was a junkie and a prostitute, but she couldn’t stop thinking about that night and Daredevil’s speech. Then one night, B-list villain the Bullet showed up at her boyfriend/pimp’s apartment to discuss plans to entrap and kill Daredevil:

Before she could shoot anyone, Matt arrived and laid out all the bad guys for her:

So yeah, Blonde Woman (most of these characters never get names) is very firmly Pro Daredevil.

The redheaded guy she was talking to is less certain. His dad was a villain henchman, and his closest encounter with Daredevil was when, desperate for money to support his family, he tried to follow in his father’s footsteps:

“MURDOCK’S BOY.” <3 <3 <3

Anyway, Redheaded Man decides not to go through with it and instead blows up the bad guys’ lair. His story’s...kind of the least interesting of all of them.

But then stuff gets more complicated and intertwined, as a woman explains that her husband was a villain - and not in a fun gimmicky bank robber way:

One night, she went into the basement and found her husband communing with...something disturbing:

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

...was the tube top woman’s reaction, and everyone else’s, except for one woman in the support group, who is not having it:

Hearing Tube Top spewing apparent nonsense about a weird little demon baby is understandably upsetting, especially when she’s come to this support group for closure...since Daredevil was the one who saved her from Tube Top’s husband:

She wants to know why the devil saved her, but the priest has no answers for her.

Another woman in the group has a question for Tube Top:

It’s a drawing of the freaky demon baby! Whaaaaaat?

Everyone is super freaked out by this, but this is a Bendis comic, so we cannot progress without very long, non-linear backstory. And to be fair, we do need to see Gray-Haired Woman’s connection to Daredevil. Which is, uh...she was at his wedding:

Yeah, so she’s a good friend of Milla’s from work and thus was the maid of honor/second witness at this very terrible idea of a secret wedding (Foggy, of course, being the best man).

So when Gray-Haired Woman got a panicked call from her daughter, who was being held hostage at a bank robbery by the Jester, Milla called Matt. Matt apprehended the Jester and saved the daughter, but...that didn’t mean a happy ending:

The daughter never recovered from her experience, and shortly thereafter, her mother found her dead from suicide next to a drawing of the demon baby. The mother, naturally, never recovered either:

Everyone in the room is horrified...except for one guy. Who starts laughing.

...Millions? I’m no anthropologist, but Homo sapiens has only existed for a few hundred thousand years so yeah, that’s a no. (Not that this dude is a reliable narrator, but still.) Anyway all this “if you learn to punch real good you’ll develop the Magical Powers of the Far East” Orientalist ninja bullcrap is racist af.

That said, the reveal is still pretty good:

YUP. MATT HAS BEEN SITTING HERE THE ENTIRE TIME. FOR LIKE FOUR ISSUES. Go back up and look at the very first image I posted, or the one of the assault victim attacking Tube Top. IT’S SO GOOD.

Why is Matt there? Well, two reasons. One, he knows that laughing boy is up to something and it’s not good:

Now it’s time for Matt to tell his side of things. Well, the Jester part. He doesn’t really have a commentary on Blonde Woman or Redheaded Man or even the woman who was assaulted (I’m sorry, I REALLY wish I had a better unique descriptor for her).

(Oh, this is just a random Lawrence, not Larry Cranston/Mr. Fear Lawrence.)

See, as Gray-Haired Lady overheard him telling Milla, there was something very Not Right with the Jester when they fought - something Matt had trouble perceiving, because it was apparently only (mostly?) on the visual spectrum:

Yeah, so apparently the Jester got possessed by a horrifying demon baby thing somehow and it fucked him up but also made him more powerful but then he vomited it up (I guess he’s...fine? I can’t remember any Jester stories that happen after this one but I’m sure there must be some) and seeing this and then being attacked by the weird demon baby/watching Matt be attacked by it (unclear who the baby’s going for in that last panel) scarred Gray-Haired Woman’s daughter so badly she couldn’t live with it.

Matt is very, very angry about all this, and he’s tracked down the culprit:

UGH this nonsense. You know how those Japanese religions are ~dangerous~ and ~mysterious~, right? Stooooop, Bendis.

Anyway I cut these pages because they’re really disturbing, but basically Lawrence makes a run for it, Matt chases him (somehow changing into his DD costume real fast and then back out of it?), and Lawrence shoots himself as the demon baby crawls out of his mouth, killing them both. So that’s...just sort of that, then.

Matt returns to the group and explains that he had another reason for coming, besides tracking down Lawrence:

OH MATT. He’s just trying to keep his neighborhood safe because he loves it! The problem is he’s stupid!!!

Also they’re like, so you’re Daredevil and he’s like, ah, but I never actually said I was Daredevil so check AND mate, suckers! Like I said, he’s stupid.

Anyway it’s kind of a weird story that has some good bits (the intertwined lives of New Yorkers, the way a neighborhood in a big city can function like a small town, THAT REVEAL) and some dumb stuff (the grossness, the racism, the gratuitous assault) but mostly it’s very Bendis.

Next up: the Bendis era winds down and things somehow get Even More Fucked. Plus, Elektra!

[new-world-hope]

QuakeCon Fallout 76 panel

Panel begins at around 37:50, but if you want to skip the panel intro (in which nothing happens) and a replay of the E3 trailer, go to 42:18. Panel includes Fallout 76 development director Chris Meyer, project leader Jeff Gardiner, and game director Todd Howard.

Important/noteworthy info (I’m sure this is riddled with spelling mistakes, bad grammar, maybe even conflicting info; if you notice anything, let me know):

In regards to questing and general feel, FO76 remains “very similar to the Fallout you know and love.” Howard describes it as being 80% the familiar feel of Fallout, with the other 20% being “really different.”

FO76 has more “adventure elements,” focuses more on what it means to live in the world. It “has to feel real” to the player. The game “has a slow burn,” and they want you to really feel like you are your character in this game.

FO76 uses the Quake III networking architecture.

According to Gardiner, Bethesda Montreal is working on the game’s graphics, while Bethesda Austin is comprised of gameplay and network code experts.

Bethesda debuts the Fallout 76 Perks trailer (in the style of similar animated Vault-Tec trailers which came out before FO4), including things like mutations.

Character creation in Fallout 76 is shown at 54:40. The CC has been improved over FO4, though no details on how or why are given. Immediately after creating your character, you are taken to a screen where you can take your Vault-Tec ID badge photo, using the game’s photo mode, which allows you to select character poses and facial expressions.

Photo mode can be used at any time throughout gameplay, and photos you’ve taken appear in load screens. These are randomized along with “curated photos.”

Loading screens do not appear often, but there is a “little one” whenever you fast travel.

You can change your character’s appearance at any point throughout gameplay, from your hairstyle to even your gender.

At 56:25, gameplay is shown of emerging from the Vault, including your first level-up.

Leveling up begins with choosing whichever one of your SPECIAL attributes you wish to increase, which is followed by choosing an available “perk card” under that category. This seems much less cluttered than FO4′s perk chart screen. Taking a perk again increases its rank up to a seeming maximum of three. Each perk card has a “point cost” which requires a certain SPECIAL level in order to equip it.

“The levels keep going up and up and up. We don’t want to make a game where you have to stop leveling, but we had to make some very interesting decisions on what that means for a multiplayer game for balance.

We see level-ups to level 2, level 4, and then level 42. At 58:37, at the level 42 level-up screen, the player is wielding a crossbow.

PERKS SEEN: (any words in brackets were cut off; all assumptions are my own, though any indicated with ? I am unsure of--KEEP IN MIND that the numbers are affected by PERK RANKS and are thus subject to change; the numbers here are taken from perks of various tiers; this includes things like “there’s no chance you’ll be addicted to alcohol,” which is a level 3 perk, in which we can assume the first two levels just have a lowered chance)

STRENGTH

GLADIATOR: Your one-handed melee weapons now do +10% damage.

THRU-HIKER: Food and drink weights are reduced by 30%.

STURDY FRAME: Armor weighs 25% less than normal.

EXPERT SLUGGER: Your two-handed melee weapons now do +10% damage.

BEAR ARMS: Heavy Guns weigh 40% less.

BATTERIES INCLUDED: Energy weapon ammo weighs 30% less.

BANDOLIER: Ballistic weapon ammo weighs 90% less.

EXPERT HEAVY GUNNER: Your non-explosive heavy guns now do +10% damage.

PERCEPTION

GREEN THUMB: You have a 25% chance to reap twice as much when harvesting flora.

PERCEPTI-BOBBLE: You hear directional audio when in range of a bobblehead.

PANNAPICTAGRAPHIST: You hear directional audio when in range of a Magazine.

ENDURANCE

SLOW METABOLIZER: All food satisfies hunger by an additional 15%.

VACCINATED: Chance of catching a disease from creatures is reduced by 60%.

DROMEDARY: All drinks quench thirst by an additional 15%.

PROFESSIONAL DRINKER: There’s no chance you’ll get addicted to alcohol.

AQUAGIRL: You no longer take Rad damage from swimming and can breathe underwater.

CHARISMA 

HAPPY CAMPER: Hunger and thirst grow 40% more slowly when in camp or in a team workshop.

PHILANTHROP[Y? IST?]: Restore some of your [team’s] hunger and thirst when [you eat] or drink.

SPIRITUAL HEAL[ER?]: You regenerate health for [?] seconds after reviving anot[her] player.

SQUAD MANEUVER [perhaps MANEUVERING?]: Run 10% faster when part of [a] team.

STRANGE IN NUMBERS: Positive mutation effects are +% stronger if teammates are mutated too.

LONE WANDERER: [Wh]en adventuring alone, take 10% [l]ess damage and gain 10% AP regen.

TEAM MEDIC: [Y]our stimpaks now also heal [ne]arby teammates for half the normal strength.

BLOODSUCKER: [Blood p]acks now satisfy thirst, no [longe]r irradiate, and heal 50% more.

PARTY GIRL: The effects of alcohol are doubled.

HAPPY-GO-LUCKY: Your Luck is increased by 2 while under the influence of alcohol.

QUACK SURGEON: Revive other players with liquor!

BODYGUARDS: Gain 8 Damage & Energy resist (max 24) for each teammate excluding you.

HARD BARGAIN: Buying and selling prices at vendors are better.

INSPIRATIONAL: When you are on a team, gain 5% more XP.

INTELLIGENCE

FIRST AID: Stimpaks restore 10% more lost health.

CONTRACTOR: Crafting workshop items now costs 25% fewer materials.

MASTER HACKER: Gain +1 hacking skill, and terminal lock-out time is reduced.

EXOTIC WEAPONS: You can now craft Rank 1 exotic weapon mods. (Plans required) [Vault Boy is shown wielding a bow on this card]

AGILITY

MARATHONER: Sprinting consumes 20% fewer Action Points.

GOAT LEGS: Take 80% less damage from falling.

LUCK

SCROUNGER: 50% change to find extra ammow hen you “Search” an ammo container.

STARCHED GENES: You will never mutate from rads and RadAway will never cure mutations.

MYSTERY MEAT: Stimpaks generate excessive, edible meat. Higher Rads improve the chance.

MYSTERIOUS STRANGER: The Mysterious Stranger appears more often when using VATS. [This perk is at level 2 of 3; assume that the Stranger only begins appearing if you have level 1]

LUCK OF THE DRAW: Your weapon has a 10% chance to regain condition when hitting an enemy.

CAN DO!: [30%?] chance to find an extra canned good when you “search” a [?] container.

You can pick any perk that you meet the requirements for when you level up. More become available as you level.

Your stat level determines how many perks you can have active at a time: A character with 12 Strength is shown to have one level 3 perk, three level 2 perks, and three level 1 perks, adding up to 12. Cards can be worth up to 5 points, with each capping at different tiers.

Each SPECIAL stat has a cap of 15.

Charisma in FO76 is designed to share your perk cards with other players in your team.

Perk cards can be unlocked in card packs, which you initially get every two levels, until level 10, after which you get one every five, in addition to the single perk card you unlock every level. They come with four cards and a stick of gum, which can be used as a food item. The gum wrapper has a joke in it, all of which are written by Emil Pagliarulo (writer of such things as Oblivion’s Dark Brotherhood questline, Skyrim’s guard dialogue, and Fallout 4′s main storyline).

You can swap out your perks at any time.

There are “hundreds” of perk cards.

SPECIAL points cannot be increased after level 50, but you can still pick a perk card every level after that.

Beta goes live in October.

They fully expect FO76 to be broken at first; the beta will be used as a stress test.

FO76 will be updated regularly after launch; Todd states it will be a “different game” one, two, five years after it comes out.

On PvP, griefing: When you shoot another player, you do a little bit of damage, not full damage, described as an “invitation” to combat, like “slapping somebody at a bar.” If the other player engages, then both enter combat and do full damage. There is a cap reward to combat based on the players’ levels; you will get more caps for killing a high-level character than a low-level character. When you are killed, you can “seek revenge,” which doubles the reward for killing them.

An attacking player can still kill someone who does not wish to engage, but if they do (i.e., against their will), they become a “wanted murderer,” and get no reward for it (no caps, no XP) and appear on everyone’s map as a red star with a bounty on their head--a bounty which comes out of their own caps. They are also unable to see any other players on their map.

Sneaking removes you from the map (unless you are wanted).

When you die, you drop your junk items--think crafting materials, a large portion of the gameplay loop. You can store your junk in a stash. The point of this is to represent sunk time, to make sure you are preparing before heading into a dangerous area.

You can respawn at any fast travel point; the point closest to you is free, the Vault 76 entrance is free, but everything beyond that has a cap cost dependent on distance from you.

PvP does not “kick off” until level 5.

You are able to “ignore and block” players; ignoring blocks them for the session. (Assuming blocking means you won’t be matchmade with them again?)

There is a “pacifist flag” (mode) which sets the game so you cannot accidentally engage in combat, so that no one can trick you into fighting by jumping in front of your bullets (further preventing griefing)

PvP is balanced so that stronger players will indeed be harder to kill, but if you play cleverly and well you can still manage to come out on top; the cap reward will be incredibly high if you pull off a kill on someone much higher in level

Blueprint system: Save blueprints to a creation so that you can easily rebuild it if it gets destroyed, and so that it can be moved within your camp to fit it nicely with the terrain whenever you move somewhere new.

Camps can be destroyed so that you cannot grief players by trapping them inside a prison.

Example of a trap set by Bethesda employee: Player sat in the middle of the road playing a tuba, but built turrets in the foliage to the side of the road. When players attempt to attack him, the turrets turn on them and fire from the foliage, killing them first.

Camp can be moved so that players can move their camps around when they find a nicer spot, but players tend to settle in to a specific place to keep their camp.

There is voice chat for your team, and for the game world; area-based, so you can hear players near you.

VATS is now real-time. You cannot initially target individual body parts, and the ability to do that is a perk you can unlock. Percentage to hit is based on your Perception. VATS can be used to find players (as you can in other modern Fallout games).

VATS becomes more and more useful the more you invest in Perception.

Inon Zur is scoring Fallout 76.

Licensed music: FO76 has more tracks than have ever been in a Fallout game. There are radio stations you can listen to. There is a balance of “classic” tracks used in older Fallout games, as well as songs new to the series; they seem to be drawing most heavily from 40s music this time around. Howard says there is an “unbelievable amount” of weird, wacky 40s music.

Private servers are definitely happening, specifically because they want people to be able to mod the game. It’s going to be “very, very complicated,” but Bethesda is “committed to it.” They are in the process of solving that problem.

[fanesavin]

The High Inquisitor has a meeting with the Prelate concerning the findings of his investigation.

[ (x) Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (x) | Part 4 | Part 5  (x) | Part 6 (x) | Part 7 | Part 8 (x) | Part 9 (x) |Part 10 (x) | Part 11 (x) (x) ]

@teddyaynesworth

Fane let Bellamy and Faye go, turning about and heading in the direction of the Prelate’s office. The nearer he got to the room the heavier the conversation with Lady Florent earlier in the day weighed on his shoulders. You cannot serve justice and peace. And yet, did he not swear to give the former, never the latter. Moving up the winding staircase until he reached the door in question and raised a clenched fist to knock before he entered. “I’m sorry to bother you Prelate, but I have urgent business to discuss with you.” Was this a mistake? Could he trust the man he was going to speak with? Fane didn’t rightly know, but the Prelate would play a role in determining the Raj the people called for and Fane was worried about the outcome.

Prelate Theodore "Inquisitor! I’d expected your work on behalf of the Council would have you occupied day and night.“ Theodore moved closer to Fane, thinning his eyes as he inspected the man’s face, the exhaustion inscribed on features that were doing their best to maintain order and fulfill duty. "Then again – it looks as though you’ve been racing through the candles already. Come, man, get off your feet for a moment. Have some wine.” The Prelate gestured towards one of the heavy chairs at his table, pouring them both his green wine. “Tell me what your concerns are. Does it have to do with your findings about the crown?”

Fane had been burning the candle at both ends and while he attempted to maintain a presentable appearance as befit his rank there were signs of the toll. Equally growing more restless the more he learned. Too many moving wheels and gears. The offer to sit took a moment to be considered but ultimately he shook his head, "I doubt I'd be able to sit still long enough." But the wine he did accept, taking a small sip, strong and a touch sour but it gave him a point to focus on. "As you well know, the late High Raj wished to have his coronation crown refurbished, that refurbishment happened here in the capitol with the Guild's best blacksmith who after several visits has confirmed the rig containing the venom was not present prior to its departure on the journey... The journey was clearly the most obvious point of weakness, and I've worked to confirm that the crown used in the ceremony was not the same one that left the Capitol at the beginning of its tour of the kingdoms. It was counterfeited and replaced."

As he’d said, Fane wasn’t able to stand still for the duration, starting to pace back and forth. “We know the crown went to and stayed longest in Blackspire, Summerset, the Kesleylands and Hathurana. It also had brief stays in Honeywild, the High Peninsula and the Eades… But in two of these locations I’ve come to learn the Captains left the crown unguarded...” He drew in a long breath turning back to the Prelate, “that was in Summerset and the Kesleylands.”

Prelate Theodore steepled his fingers as he listened to Fane's tense report, the words spooling out like coins on a money string -- clanking against each other, each heavy with value. "You've acquitted yourself most honourably," Theodore said, wanting to preface any further discussion with that accolade. It was a thankless task the Inquisitor had been given, and he'd clearly thrown himself body and soul into performing it to the absolute limits of his well-proven ability. "If we can count anything in this situation as fortunate, it's that we had you on hand to conduct this investigation." Picking up his wine, Theodore sipped it as he collected his thoughts. "Summerset and Kesleyland; one allied with the Forty Isles whose Grand Lady was subject to an attack, the other peopled with anti-witch zealots who do nothing but tarnish the name of their House." He raised an eyebrow at Fane. "If one was inclined towards the bolder set of evidence, it would look fair damning for the Kesleys, wouldn't it?"

Fane allowed himself a minute humourless smile but took the moment to catch himself. “I was charged with finding justice and I hope it is found.” The Inquisitor grew quiet as he let the Prelate think equally knowing the worth of silence. “Unfortunately, that’s just the issue," Fane stopped by one of the map tables his eyes drifting over the different Kingdoms "whoever carried this out was calculated and cunning. Why would someone go to all this effort and intricacy only to draw so much attention to themselves by trying to kidnap the grand-lady and then staging a coup in the keep barely days after the murder of the Raj?" Fane shook his head, "it doesn't make sense. Which is what leads me to believe Summerset is the more likely location that the crown was swapped.”

Prelate Theodore nodded, his voice wry when he replied to Fane's pinning the Summerset as the most likely culprit. "I'd have preferred if it were the Kesleys," he admitted. "Their House is chaotic and not well-liked or respected, especially after their antics these past few days. Summerset ... it's a kingdom with storied history, an admired Grand Lady, and strong ties to our most sprawling and economically virile nation of the Isles." Theodore frowned at the table, a knot of wood that hadn't been sanded down to lie flush with the rest. "Should we make accusations of the Summerset, we will have but once chance to make it stick." 

Fane sighed through his nose, "aye as I wish it was too." Fane continued to ponder the map, "Summerset and the Kesleys have always had long-standing rivalry have they not?" He grimaced at the mention of accusations, "that's the issue Prelate, I'm not sure I have enough to make an accusation and know it's the correct individual taking the blame." Fane straightened leaving the table, his features grim "there's more, we know that the princes of the Isles were in attendance at Summerset. The Forty Isles Captain admitted as much under interrogation from his Commander - he was bribed with forty isles coin to leave the crown while they were in Summerset while the other guard was diverted with a distraction… He took it as the briber implied the work was for the Queen’s Consort. The man unfortunately managed to find a way take his life in captivity before we had a chance to question him further… Equally, the counterfeit crown bore the mark of the forty isles.” 

Prelate Theodore sat up straighter, his frown deepening. "You mean to tell me that this counterfeit crown, the one fitted with the means for murdering the High Raj, had a visible mark of the Forty Isles?" Theodore rose from his seat, now, moving to the map table as well as though if they both scrutinized it enough, the secrets of its cartography would enlighten them. "Then either the Princes are becoming uncharacteristically slovenly in their dabblings in intrigue, or someone is attempting to shift blame to them."

Fane gave a slight nod of his head, "aye, equally the journeyman of the blacksmith in the Capitol that completed the refurbishment of the crown hailed from Summerset. She had to return there apparently to fetch her sister, only, she never to returned. It's quite a coincidence that the only other person to see the schematics for the crown and how it would be refashioned never returned... The amount of evidence continues to overwhelmingly stack up against Summerset." But he had to agree with the Prelate, it hearkened back to his earlier statement about the Kesleys drawing attention to themselves. "I can't say I'm so familiar with the younger Cardero but I've known Prince Iann for a fair few decades now. His son's been one of my wards and the man is as cunning as anyone in his subterfuge. I know the Raj defeated him in battle during the wars but I honestly can't admit to seeing him leaving such blatant evidence that would bring him and his House to ruin. The man's many things but an idiot he is not." He grew quiet, there was one piece of evidence he had yet to share. Finishing his wine he set it down, he settled into silence once more as he weighed up something with himself "there's one more thing... But... I can't I can see where it might fit in the larger puzzle if it even fits anywhere at all...."

"No, the Driftwood Prince is no fool. Liar and pirate he might be, and set to inherit a vast amount of wealth and far-reaching influence, but not a fool." Theodore tucked his hands into his long flared sleeves. "One might almost wish he was, eh, Lord Savin? At least then we would be assured of him accidentally showing his hand in this affair." His gaze swept along the archipelago of the Greater Isles, out through the dotted scatter of the rest that made up the Forty. "Instead of being obliged to consider the possibility that he's clever enough to clear himself of suspicion by making the reasons to suspect him far too obvious." He sighed and stepped away, moving to one of the tall panelled windows. "You may as well divulge all of your information, Lord Savin," he said. "Whether it adds another snarl to this tangle or not."

Fane made a quiet noise of agreement. "And considering he's set to inherit that wealth and his father's seat why would he wish to squander it with an ill attempted plan such as this?" He studied the ocean between the Isles and the main continent, he'd never liked sea-faring much and the Isles were a far cry from his own lifestyle. "You heard about the Kesley coup, the lord responsible ended up being taken to the dungeons for further questioning... Only to end up being found with his throat sliced from ear to ear." A grim death as any, Fane stood up seeming hesitant to speak but having no reason not to share what he'd learned. "My men that were guarding the night of his death reported that the Grand Lady was the last to visit the man alive and that she had a strange hooded figure accompanied her on this particular journey... She happened to claim to be there on my behalf... Which, I can say is untrue... No effort was made to bribe the guards however, which was either quite deliberate or a mistake..." He shifted, feeling uncomfortable as he spoke the words. "Perhaps she had reason for being there... They did attempt to kidnap her, and I would never wish to presume about such matters without more evidence if there even is indeed any to be uncovered... Unfortunately, my attempts to investigate such things is where I've come up dry, considering the Kesleys are all six feet under now... I did hope Lady Florent might be of assistance -- I know you and her were to be seated on the Raj's council and of her position as Master of Whisperers. Unfortunately, as she informed me earlier today she is of the belief justice and peace can't both be served." 

That certainly sounded like something Ciara would say, particularly to a person like the Inquisitor -- whose entire position was intended to bludgeon information from suspects with expedience rather than finesse. It was a good thing he was facing the window; that meant the Prelate could indulge himself in a smile before assuring Fane, "Our Master of Whispers occupies a liminal space both physically and mentally. It's necessary to her position, and it also makes her suspicious of ... the co-existence of certain systems of governance. Or rather, the possibility of co-existence." Theodore turned from the window to look at Fane. "We can amend that objection easily, you and I. The Dawnguard can continue to serve the cause of justice, and the Cloverry will devote itself to instilling peace." The Prelate motioned between them. "We can be the fulcrum. I am a creature of politicking, Lord Savin; there's no need for you to wear yourself down when it comes to that side of the equation. But we can continue to share information."

Fane merely made a non-committal noise concerning Ciara. "Well, unless you can convince her to part with any secrets for the sake of finding the person responsible for all this, I'm not sure we have a case." His eyes drifted to the window, and the chants and cries going up from the streets beyond. "Which leaves us with a conundrum, doesn't it? The people want and expect us to give them a High Raj."

Prelate Theodore corrected in a firm, sure voice, "The people want and expect the Cloverry to give them a High Raj. And the Cloverry is already tabulating appropriate candidates, you can be sure." 

Fane inclined his head in polite deference for his mistake, "aye you're right, I apologise... It's been a long week."

Prelate Theodore waved a hand before returning it to his sleeve. "Not needed, Lord Savin. It's become second nature to me to remind people that appointing the High Raj is the province of the Cloverry -- I know that it's something you are well aware of. It's been a long week for me, as well." Theodore rolled his shoulders back, then forward again before straightening. "Please, don't trouble yourself anymore with the matter of the counterfeit crown and where the culpability lies. The Council will now take that matter on board. You've ... done plenty, for a man reluctant to be pressed into wartime service again."

Fane straightened his posture lifting his chin. "No doubt," politics nor the game were Fane's area of expertise so he was glad to pass the mantle on to someone else. "I've done what was asked of me, if it bears fruit then I'll rest easy. But, should you require my service for anything else, just ask."

Prelate Theodore gave a halfway nod, but then reconsidered and stepped closer to Fane, extending his cold, elegant hand. "You've been invaluable, Lord Savin," he said with the calm sincerity that the most effective clergy aspired to. "The Council will always consider you a trusted member and treasured asset."

Fane was admittedly surprised by the gesture, rare was it for the Prelate to give acknowledgement as he was presently. Fane took the proffered hand, far less elegantly but then again, his hands never were meant for building or shaping empires. "I appreciate your faith Prelate, and I hope by the end of all this we come out with some semblance of the peace we hoped to craft by being here." After shaking the man's hand, Fane naturally stepped back. "Please, keep me informed of any further developments that happen to arise... Otherwise, by your permission I shall take my leave of you."

[replicarters]

i was at northeast trek con this weekend, if you couldn’t deduce it from my posts that must have sounded like they were coming from some sort of hallucinatory trip. to say i had fun would be a wild understatement. if you slot this con on an alignment chart, it would be wall-to-wall chaotic good. the theme advertised was celebrating the 25th anniversary of ds9... and boy did we celebrate.

what follows is everything i feverishly tweeted about the wildest 72 hours of my life.

the only reason i went to this con at all was @thylekshran, who wanted to see one mr. jeffwey combs very badly. @jadziadax happened to say to me one night, “hey you should go to this con happening where you live to see nicole,” and i said, “wait a minute, isn’t this the con dylan wants to go to? what if i actually Did go to this?”

friday: i grabbed dylan, somehow, from the bus stop that i think didn’t quite exist on this plane. we get to the con and we walk into the exhibit hall. nicole is right by the door and i cannot look at her, so we beeline for vendor tables, and suddenly before me is an extremely familiar spread of colorful images. it takes me a minute to process it, and then i’m pointing to this table and rushing toward it going, “OH MY GOD. IT’S HER! FROM TUMBLR! OH MY GOD WHAT.” it was none other than @abravenoise selling prints!!!! i had no idea she would be there since i didn’t look at anything before i left the house. just fyi she is irl just about the nicest person i’ve ever met!!!!!! and i’m so glad we got to hang out as much as we did!

we spent the day mostly going to panels and being big baby chickens regarding jeff’s and nicole’s tables, respectively. we did end up at jg hertzler’s table A Lot, because dylan, like, is recognized?? by him and his wife??? idk dylan’s just out here charming the pants off everybody, so i was like, okay cool, this is the first thing that is Totally Fine, just chilling with martok. we also met two cool dudes through jg who really enjoyed hanging out with us, and that was great! making friends all over the place! not the first and not the last!

one thing dylan and i were bummed about was that the klingon meet & greet party that night (where jg and robert o’reilly would get in costume as martok and gowron and duel to the death) was sold out. we really really really wanted to go... so dylan just... straight up asks jg if he can get us in dhfklshdfd. and you know what? he fucking does. just... put our names right on that list! O K A Y!

the friday panels were a sign of what would be to come, every one we went to was crazy. this was my first real trek con, so of course i have never seen hertzler and o’reilly in a room together, but now i have and my third eye is open and all that. not to mention: learning that garrett wang plays pokemon go, nicole cracking up at poop jokes like i said, hertzler doodling a little shran with glasses on jeff’s sign, the con’s power point file just being named DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. everything that was happening was so good.

chase masterson had a panel about her pop culture hero coalition, and currently working for a non-profit myself, i was really curious about what kinds of programming they do, so i went to her table to talk to her about it. chase ended up talking some about the why’s of starting the coalition, what it meant to her, her own struggles with depression, and i’m thinking to myself, “uhhhhhh well if chase is gonna share about her mental health struggles, then... i... will also do this.” the nanosecond i said something about experiencing difficulty with self-love, she was zeroed in on me like a cruise missile. i spilled everything to her about my job and how my old boss was basically the meanest, most miserable person alive, and how much she got into my head and how now that i was out of that department, i had to pick up the pieces and it was proving to be much harder than it has been in the past. well, god almighty, chase just had the nicest things to say in return, and we commiserated over being your own worst critic, and how ridiculously hard it is to have this fight against yourself over and over again, but that we deserve so much and going forward is worth it. jesus christ! i got a big hug and said to myself, “holy shit i can’t wait to tell my therapist that a star trek actor talked to me about mindfulness and now i want to learn the hell out of it.”

oh but then it was time for the klingon party that we were now going to thanks to jg hertzler. this thing was off the chain immediately, martok and gowron had their duel, first with sparkling bat’leths that fell apart, and then with whole baguettes, and i can’t believe i got to watch this with my eye parts. and that was the beginning; the party would go for another 3 hours, almost all of which i spent dancing with the most generous people i’ve ever met, who went out of their way to welcome everyone they could onto the dance floor, regardless of physical ability or skill level. there was one woman in particular who, if she saw even the slightest twinkle in your eye and you weren’t already dancing with her, she’d be like, “you, get over here!” i don’t know how my body did that for all that time without falling apart.

our esteemed guests began showing up, and garrett wang leapt into the middle of our jump around circle and gave each one of us a vulcan high five. jeffrey combs showed up which of course sent dylan over the moon, and he said, “you go, girl!” to her dancing. max grodenchik gave dylan one of his drink tickets and then asked us whether or not we thought the existence of god could be proven. chase found us and reached out her hand over a couple people’s heads to give me a supportive hand squeeze (!!!???). aron eisenberg, i don’t know what the hell he was doing, but i feel like maybe somebody asked him about terry, because all of a sudden i hear something like, “terry left because she was in love with nog and couldn’t take it anymore.” garrett has three pokemon go accounts, which he showed off at my urging, and let me tell you, don’t encounter him at a gym because he has three dragonites, two tyranitars, a monster blissey, and god knows what else. dancing, dancing, more dancing. then it was time for it to be done, and time to go home. we watched reanimator. i was wired as hell and barely slept.

and THAT. was only friday.

saturday: i had kept my eyes open for a copy of the lives of dax the day before, but didn’t see anybody selling one. this morning, i walk by a booth we went to the previous day and all of sudden, on top of a bunch of other books in a big tub, there it was!!! couldn’t have forked my money over faster if i tried.

then i had this bright idea. hey... here’s a copy of lives of dax... and nicole is here... and she should sign it... and then in the future i can get terry to sign it... boom, bang, let’s do it, right? i had dylan drag me to nicole’s table because i was like, “i am never going to make even eye contact with her if you do not physically take me there,” and one of us brought up that we missed her at the klingon party. it’s cool, we all gotta sleep, right? well, it turns out nicole had gone out with the gaaays in spaaace people to the bar where they were going to have their party later. so she says garrett texts her, “uhhh hey you know you’re kinda supposed to be making an appearance at this thing, right?” nope! no clue. so she texts him back, “hmmm uhhh well,” takes another sip of her drink, “i think i’m doing good work here.”

the thing about nicole that i somehow missed in my drinking in of all ds9 actor content is that she embodies pure shitposter energy, but if the shitposts were coming from a wine mom. she’s hysterical, 50% intentionally and 50% unintentionally. an extremely excellent human. she signed lives of dax, i had my tribble photo op with her later (that i almost missed due to getting into a conversation with larry nemecek!) and she said she was going to the gays in space party later. helllll yes. i hope somebody puts up her q&a because she told a RIDICULOUS story about auditioning for ezri and creeping on jeri ryan on a plane. i can’t do it justice, there are movements that have to be seen.

we went to combsland finally, and i grilled him about whether or not herbert killed the cat, and we learned jeff has two cats! show them off, man! where are the vids! then, and i had never planned to do this, i bought an autograph from him, and the shran i bought it on ended up selling out! crazy.

hertzler had doodled a martok above his table, and so this combined with the little shran from yesterday led me to these words coming out of my mouth: “can i pay you for a drawing? can i pay you for a drawing of jadzia and martok brofisting?” he gave it very serious thought, said he was gonna have to look at a lot of pictures of terry (relatable), and told me to give him my e-mail. between him and his wife, i hope to god one of them remembers my e-mail is in his wallet. let me give you money!!!

my next tweets jump right to gays in space - again, dylan knows a lot of the gis folks, so i didn’t feel like i was going into this totally unawares. we’re chilling at the bar, i’m drinking my cranberry juice, and then o’reilly, aron, and nicole arrive, telling everybody that jg’s probably going to be late because a bouncer pushed his wife and he might go to jail. like, kidding, but also... it’s jg hertzler and he could legitimately fuck you up. so he was gonna be late, regardless.

nicole sees dylan and me and comes to say hello (????!!!!!) and somebody ends up saying, “get this lady a drink!” yeah, dylan and i were on that. in fact, i pulled my credit card out like i cared not one bit about identity theft, fico scores, my own personal finances; i would purchase this alcohol in an alley from a guy using a card skimmer. few minutes tick by and then i’ve officially bought a drink for nicole de boer (?????????!!!!!!!!) and i’m giving it to her (????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and we’re clinking our glasses together (?????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) i’m clinking glasses with nicole fucking de boer and somehow managing to be normal about it. i’m not altogether convinced i didn’t exit the universe entirely by this point and end up in another one.

the gays in space party was AMAZING, it was just as fun as the klingon party! if you have a chance to go to one, please do, there’s like no way you could ever regret it. you get treated to star trek-themed drag shows, get to mingle, there was a raffle, the people were just as friendly as the previous day, it was so great. we were out very late for my old lady body clock but it was worth every bit of exhaustion we felt the next morning, after the saga of actually getting home past a blocked off road and dylan slicing herself open on the bottom of my passenger seat.

sunday: nicole sees me, mid-yawn, and gives me one of those, “eyyy you and me went through some shit last night huh?” looks and tells me good morning. ( ? ? ? ? ? ! !  ! you know this drill.) combs ended up on the escalator behind us after his panel and i turned around and i said to him, “hey jeff, you got any pictures of your cats with you?” (no, but he has a black cat and a very vocal calico.) i went to chase’s table again and got another hug right out of the gate, we took a pic together, and she told me i was powerful! yo! or rather yooooooooooooooooooo!

the con was winding down at this point, but there was one more thing left: jeopardy. the jeopardy game was done at the first northeast trek con and was so popular they did it again, and i really, really hope someone uploads it to youtube because it is beyond description. first of all, the whole draw were the contestants: you could enter a raffle to end up on either hertzler’s, aron’s, or garrett’s team. the champion from the last game ended up buying half the tickets, so he was on it again, and not on aron’s team, much to aron’s annoyance because god almighty did he want to win. he was about to commit murder in there. someone said nicole was upset that she wasn’t in the game because she really wanted to play, lmfao. so the guys running it were like, “well, go get her, she can be on garrett’s team!” which sent aron into a fucking tailspin. now we got a team with two people on it?! they got nicole and drew the other winners, and the game began. 

one of the rules was “this isn’t going to be fair. at all.” actually, it was two of the rules. despite this, you’d have thought aron was bitten by a rabid raccoon. every lost question almost got him flipping the table over. nicole belatedly, i’m talking like 5 minutes into it, realizes she doesn’t understand the rules of jeopardy and can’t figure out why “their” question was answered by someone else. she can’t believe someone knew what voyager’s registry number was. one of the questions was, “a young kid called ensign kim this name instead of ‘ensign’,” and with no hesitation, she answers, “asshole,” and wasn’t even joking, that was her actual guess.    R E A L    W I N E    M O M    H O U R S

the winner was hertzler and the previous champ. aron wants to ban the guy from buying tickets ever again. we head to the closing ceremony but it doesn’t happen? lmfao. well, guess the con’s over!

@abravenoise, one of our other con pals, and dylan were all taking the same bus that night, so we all went to grab dinner with two other guys, one who was a con pal and one i hadn’t encountered at all, and halfway through our dinner larry nemecek strolls in and sits down with us. things just keep happening, huh? the guy i hadn’t encountered at all was really impressed with me unhinging my jaw to consume my burger, and halfway through doing this i have to stop because he says, “hey, why the HECK did jadzia die?!” ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh here go hell come. my time to shine.

larry like looooves asking people what brought them to star trek, and this time he was asking us the -whys- of what brings us to star trek. i said the characters, for sure. he asked us about our favorites. i told him mine had changed throughout my life, but that when i was a kid, dr. crusher was my first favorite. he said, “in high school?” i said, “no, i mean, when i was REALLY little. like 4 or 5.” he asked me, “wow, have you ever met gates at a con and told her that?” pfft well, no, but first of all, now you got me wanting that, second of all i said what i really wanted was to swap cat pictures with her.

that was the end. i took everybody to their bus, went home, snuggled up in bed, and just asked myself, “what the fuck happened?” i still don’t know! but it was fun as hell, and amazingly impactful, if i’m being honest with you. i was surrounded by so many people brimming with enthusiasm, so many people who were happy. then there’s me, a curmudgeon who’s done everything in her power to stamp down her happiness all in the name of being ~cool or whatever. and it hasn’t made me very happy. i mean, i am also clinically depressed, there is that. but i’ve stopped sharing the things i enjoy with others, especially in recent years. i’ve closed myself off, mostly out of fear and attempting to survive my old job, but even here, i tend to keep myself at a distance, and i thought it was just because i’ve run the whole gamut of loving something before and just want to hang out with my friends. i think it’s more than that, though. i think it’s more of a defensive posture, and it’s that same posture which is running my life right now. it’s exhausting. this weekend wasn’t exhausting. it was in the sense that the human body needs rest and sleep and food and i wasn’t getting nearly enough of any of it, but emotionally, i was unburdened.

it would be nice to be that way all the time. i don’t know if it’ll be possible to be happy again like the people i met this weekend, but i do know that i want to experience this over and over and over again.

now, next time, maybe @rootmacklin and @jadziadax will be with me and we’ll be showing off our friendship necklaces to a very tall lady. that would be a good step toward unlocking my happiness...