#i had a draft

[never-enough-fanfiction]

Pure malice

@ravenettegoth you called to the void and the void answered. Joker x paramedic!reader ~1 200 words of fluff Enjoy!

Her life was a mess as it was. Career as a paramedic destroyed her sleep schedule to the point of no return and the additional side job from Victor did not help at all. In moments like these one develops surprising ability to sleep at the most uncomfortable places. So, when [Y/N] decided to move with the wires she was working on to the couch it was a lost cause.  

[Y/N] woke up maybe 15 minutes later, maybe an hour. The only thing that was certain was that she hadn't slept longer than a day, as she was still sleepy. Wrapped in the omnipresent smell of cigarettes, she blinked her eyes lazily, recognizing the familiar interior of Light's hideout. The light she used to work was already off, only the side lamp gave off just enough light to look around the room. 

[E/C] landed on her work. The colorful cables were safely placed on a nearby table. She couldn't remember the time when she was conscious enough to put them away herself. The small screwdriver digging into her thigh suggested that she had fallen asleep with her work in her hands. She reached down to pull the tool from between the cushions, and the material resting on her shoulders slid down, exposing her to the unpleasant chill of the underground. Her body, torn from the pleasant warmth of her nap, shivered as she reached for the material. The black coat was nothing more than a blur of darkness in the dim light, but the smell of cigarettes emanating from it aroused no suspicion as to who it belonged to. 

A gentle and rhythmic movement at her side announced her companion's presence. [Y/N] tensed, her breath frozen, as she nestled between the back of the couch and the man's side. Blood roared in her ears as she frantically tried to find a way out of this situation. But so far, not a single sarcastic comment was dropped. 

She turned her head cautiously, glancing at the man. To her surprise, he seemed unaware of her awakening. Joker was leaning against the faded couch, his arms crossed over his chest, rising slowly in rhythm of his calm breaths. Most of his face was hidden by a red scarf as he rested his chin on his chest. Only a closed eye was visible between the loose strands of hair. Joker's pale skin stood out despite the darkness of the room, but the shadow under his eye seemed even deeper than usual. Was it just the poor lighting? 

Many of the people who inhabited the Nether were not ambitious individuals. Hidden in the darkness from the church's gaze, they lived their own mediocre lives. However, the longer she spent in the hideout, immersed in her work on the machine, the more she was convinced that the man before her was not one of those people. He seemed to constantly work on matters anything but trivial. Her gaze fell on the journal forgotten on his knee. The tattered pages hid secrets beyond her understanding. This state of matter suited her. Her hands were stained, but they had never delved into matters so deep and so soaked in politic. Joker had no such problems. His mysterious motivations pushed him much further than hers did. 

She returned her gaze to his face, suddenly strangely unfamiliar. Joker always kept his guard up. Even when he was carelessly joking and fooling around, or was busy with something. It could be seen in his lightning-fast reaction to any change in his surroundings, and in the way that no matter how much time they spent together, or how close he let [Y/N] get to him, his figure always remained shrouded in mystery, always keeping her at a distance. But this time the sharp features, smoothed by calm for the first time, seemed almost alien, unreal. 

Her hand slipped out from under the coat and reached for him, freezing mere millimeters from the pale skin. Unwanted touch was a plea for an attack from Joker. She had no doubt the man would be capable of a violent blow despite his calm demeanor. And one well-placed elbow would undoubtedly be able to dislocate her jaw. 

The problem was that [Y/N] was known for her stupid decisions. She held her breath as her fingertips gently brushed his skin. The lack of any reaction gave her courage and she carefully brushed her palm against his cheek. Fascinated, she watched this unusual sight until a purple eye flashed in the darkness. 

“Boo!” His voice was barely audible, but when his warm breath grazed her hand, she had no doubts. [Y/N] nearly jumped out of her skin as if electrocuted, not caring about the table or the cloak covering her. She fell to the floor, accompanied by the Joker's evil chuckle. 

* 

Joker's senses were heightened to their limits, and after years in the underground, his eyesight was the last one he relied on. The change in her breathing alone was enough to put him in a state of absolute alertness. Despite that, he didn't even move, his calm breathing masking his vigilance. 

He pretended to sleep, hoping that would be enough for her to leave him alone. He didn't have the strength to deal with her today. All he really wanted to do was collapse onto the couch in his own hideout and sleep, but someone had already occupied it when he got here. 

Joker's alert ears listened as the woman woke up and looked around. He was able to detect the slightest movement of her body. Including the sudden paralysis and slow turn towards him. He expected an immediate escape, sudden creation of distance, anything. But nothing happened. Despite the sudden increase in his curiosity about her behavior, his body gave no sign of it. He sat still, curious to see what would happen next. 

Well... The touch of [Y/N]'s hand on his cheek was definitely not the most likely idea. His mind was screaming in alarm, demanding a reaction. An attack, or rather a defense. Her touch burned with a fire that his generation had not protected against. It was strange, completely unnatural. 

But his body did not react. It continued to follow the gentle rhythm of his breathing, camouflaging the battle boiling in his mind. It allowed the warmth of her touch to spread deep into his bones, broken many many times. 

He opened an eye slowly, meeting her gaze. Despite the lack of light, he had no trouble seeing her eyes focused on him as they shined in the darkness. 

“Boo…” he muttered quietly. The word didn’t contain even half of his usual malice. It was purely automatic. A miserable way to act like himself in this unusual situation. 

The effect was immediate. Faster than he would have expected her to, she landed on the floor, her cheeks glowing red in the darkness of the room. A quiet chuckle echoed in his chest. 

And for the first time in years, it was sincere. 

[darcyolsson]

in loving memory of tumblr's april fools' pranks 💐 2014 - 2024

icymi, tumblr used to do an elaborate april fool's prank every year, but this year they suddenly stopped. here's a somewhat detailed recap of everything they did over the decade:

2013 - mishapocalypse (honourable mention): tumblr staff didn’t start doing april fools until 2014, but the mishapocalypse happened on tumblr in 2013 and i feel like this list would be incomplete without it

2014 - tumblrpro: upon opening your dash you were greeted by an “inspirational” video, that ended with the option to get “tumblrpro (for free)”. all it did was put a top hat on your icon.

2015 - tumblr executivesuite/coppy: a copying machine appeared in the corner of your dash. it would offer tips on how to use tumblr, like clippy the paperclip used to do in microsoft word. as the day went on, it slowly broke down and died right in front of your eyes. many people hated him (but not me). you could also make a (small) spreadsheet. @executivesuite2016 is the official blog.

2016 - this is decision/lizard election/tumblrdecides: a parody of the 2016 US elections. there were 4 lizards (well, one of them turned out to be a salamander in a scandal) to vote for. the dash looked different and there was a live news report with election updates, as well as an election blog for each lizard. they all had their own slogans and you would get an "i voted" button after you voted that would get slapped next to your icon. there were built-in functions to make an election poster for your favourite lizard and to create a text post that supported your lizard of choice that autogenerated a statement for all your followers to read. imo tumblr’s april fools peak. @thisisdecision2016-blog is the official blog, @mop-2016-blog @wretchedtooth @timefordeborah-blog were candidates. rick also had a blog (rick-official) but that now seems to have vanished because he ended up dropping out of the election. mop won, if you're curious. by far the most elaborate prank tumblr ever did.

2017 - horse friend: a tamagotchi-inspired game where you had to take care of a little horse in the corner of your screen. it came with a randomly generated name, and you had to feed and clean up after it. if you didnt take good care of it, it died. you could then hatch (yes, hatch) a new one. there was also an option to look at the names of all your dead horses. this is now available to buy in the tumblr shop. @horse-friends is the official blog.

2018 - tumblcoin: a parody of cryptocurrency (this was the year bitcoin took off). you could ‘invest’ in tumblcoin, with which you could in turn buy things with to spice up your dash, including last year’s horse friend, coppy from 2015, and a frame for around your icon. you could share the amount of tumblcoin you owned in an automatically generated gif post which would be tagged #tbc2018 and #tumblcoin. @tumblcoin is the official blog.

2019 - @memories: this blog still functions the way it did on april fools itself! it's like mad libs, where it takes post templates and then adds in tags you use a lot and users you frequently interact with on your main blog. like a personalized shitpost bot.

2020 - group chat prank/@storybot: it was so hard to find info on this because it was contained entirely in the now-defunct group chat function, which no one used. i had to go through the notes of this post for information because no one cared enough to actually write anything explaining it. turns out, you could write a story with your mutuals by adding storybot to your group chat. it also kept working after april fools (well, up until the group chats were deleted) just like memories. many people missed out on it entirely because they did not use the group chat function.

2021 - tumblcryptids: tumblr allowed you to adopt “non-fungible tumblcryptids”, a parody of NFTs. clicking a button that said "Summon thy Tumblrcryptid" would spawn an image of a little blob-shaped creature with a short description, which would always read "Hi! My name is [randomly generated name]. I love [thing most people like]. I hate [thing most people dislike]. Like my parent, I can't get enough of #[tag from your main blog]." you could share them in a post, which would automatically add the tag #NFTumblcryptids to your post. and yes, people on the piss on the poor website freaked out about it because they thought they were real NFTs harming the environment. @tumblcryptidadoptioncenter is the official blog.

2022 - click-a-thon: when you clicked a light switch on your dashboard, a bunch of colourful things showed up, like a sponge you could move around, an "engagament meter", clickable buttons, and a “Summon Crab!” button, which would summon a crab when you clicked it. you could. the crabs, like horse friend, are still available in the tumblr store as of 2025. here's some screenshots. there were various ways to share your crab activities, which would all get tagged #april fools 2022. the prank was presented as a marketing technique created by Brick Whartley, a fictional businessman character created by tumblr, who (afaik) originated in a post on the official blog of the 2018 april fools prank, albeit originally in a different role. around this time he also started functioning as the mascot for tumblr's shop ( @emporium )

2023 - abstract reactions (emoji reacts): buttons were added to every post that allowed you to add emoji reactions, many of them based on tumblr inside jokes (horse as a reference to horse plinko/horse friend, vanilla for the vanilla extract meme, pikaman, bug for bug race, and brick whartley, who wasn't a meme but staff really wanted him to be). if one specific emoji was used a certain amount of times it would add an effect to the post, eg many cheese emoji reacts would cover the post in cheese. this was also attributed to Brick Whartley ("his" blog @brickwhartley also documented the day)

2024 - boop-o-meter: allowed you to “boop” other users who had opted in to the booping, like facebook’s poke feature back in the day. depending on how long you held the button, you would either boop, super boop, or evil boop. on the dashboard there was a counter for both how many times you had booped others and how many times others had booped you, as well as how many boops were given side-wide. when booping someone, an image of a cat paw appeared. you would get badges (which can still be used) for booping 1, 100 and 1000 times. if you gave/received more than 999 boops, the counter would switch to showing a three-letter word (see this post for specifics). this was brought back for halloween 2024 (as BOOp-o-meter. get it), with a ghost, skeleton and mummy paw. no official blog, but here's an official recap for april first from staff. i believe this was the only april fools prank that was mobile user friendly.

2025 - @fandom is running some polls, i guess

[keirahknightley]

Crimson Peak (2015) 🎬 Guillermo del Toro

+ IMDb trivia

[ninalinovna]

bruce's worst nightmare is them getting along 💀

[lokh]

DO YOU SEE MY VISION... DO YOU SEE WHAT THEY COULD BECOME

[jewishvitya]

A pro-Palestine Jew on tiktok asked those of us who were raised pro-Israel, what got us to change our minds on Palestine. I made a video to answer (with my voice, not my face), and a few people watched it and found some value in it. I'm putting this here too. I communicate through text better than voice.

So I feel repetitive for saying this at this point, but I grew up in the West Bank settlements. I wrote this post to give an example of the extent to which Palestinians are dehumanized there.

Where I live now, I meet Palestinians in day to day life. Israeli Arab citizens living their lives. In the West Bank, it was nothing like that. Over there, I only saw them through the electric fence, and the hostility between us and Palestinians was tangible.

When you're a child being brought into the situation, you don't experience the context, you don't experience the history, you don't know why they're hostile to you. You just feel "these people hate me, they don't want me to exist." And that bubble was my reality. So when I was taught in school that everything we did was in self defense, that our military is special and uniquely ethical because it's the only defensive military in the world - that made sense to me. It slotted neatly into the reality I knew.

One of the first things to burst the bubble for me was when I spoke to an old Israeli man and he was talking about his trauma from battle. I don't remember what he said, but it hit me wrong. It conflicted with the history as I understood it. So I was a bit desperate to make it make sense again, and I said, "But everything we did was in self defense, right?"

He kinda looked at me, couldn't understand at all why I was upset, and he went, "We destroyed whole villages. Of course we did. It was war, that's what you do."

And that casual "of course" stuck with me. I had to look into it more.

I couldn't look at more accurate history, and not at accounts by Palestinians, I was too primed against these sources to trust them. The community I grew up in had an anti-intellectual element to it where scholars weren't trusted about things like this.

So what really solidified this for me, was seeing Palestinian culture.

Because part of the story that Israel tells us to justify everything, is that Palestinians are not a distinct group of people, they're just Arabs. They belong to the nations around us. They insist on being here because they want to deny us a homeland. The Palestinian identity exists to hurt us. This, because the idea of displacing them and taking over their lands doesn't sound like stealing, if this was never theirs and they're only pretending because they want to deprive us.

But then foods, dances, clothing, embroidery, the Palestinian dialect. These things are history. They don't pop into existence just because you hate Jews and they're trying to move here. How gorgeous is the Palestinian thobe? How stunning is tatreez in general? And when I saw specific patterns belonging to different regions of Palestine?

All of these painted for me a rich shared life of a group of people, and countered the narrative that the Palestininian identity was fabricated to hurt us. It taught me that, whatever we call them, whatever they call themselves, they have a history in this land, they have a right to it, they have a connection to it that we can't override with our own.

I started having conversations with leftist friends. Confronting the fact that the borders of the occupied territories are arbitrary and every Israeli city was taken from them. In one of those conversations, I was encouraged to rethink how I imagine peace.

This also goes back to schooling. Because they drilled into us, we're the ones who want peace, they're the ones who keep fighting, they're just so dedicated to death and killing and they won't leave us alone.

In high school, we had a stadium event with a speaker who was telling us about a person who defected from Hamas, converted to Christianity and became a Shin Bet agent. Pretty sure you can read this in the book "Son of Hamas." A lot of my friends read the book, I didn't read it, I only know what I was told in that lecture. I guess they couldn't risk us missing out on the indoctrination if we chose not to read it.

One of the things they told us was how he thought, we've been fighting with them for so long, Israelis must have a culture around the glorification of violence. And he looked for that in music. He looked for songs about war. And for a while he just couldn't find any, but when he did, he translated it more fully, and he found out the song was about an end to wars. And this, according to the story as I was told it, was one of the things that convinced him. If you know know the current trending Israeli "war anthem," you know this flimsy reasoning doesn't work.

Back then, my friend encouraged me to think more critically about how we as Israelis envision peace, as the absence of resistance. And how self-centered it is. They can be suffering under our occupation, but as long as it doesn't reach us, that's called peace. So of course we want it and they don't.

Unless we're willing to work to change the situation entirely, our calls for peace are just "please stop fighting back against the harm we cause you."

In this video, Shlomo Yitzchak shares how he changed his mind. His story is much more interesting than mine, and he's much more eloquent telling it. He mentions how he was taught to fear Palestinians. An automatic thought, "If I go with you, you'll kill me." I was taught this too. I was taught that, if I'm in a taxi, I should be looking at the driver's name. And if that name is Arab, I should watch the road and the route he's taking, to be prepared in case he wants to take me somewhere to kill me. Just a random person trying to work. For years it stayed a habit, I'd automatically look at the driver's name. Even after knowing that I want to align myself with liberation, justice, and equality. It was a process of unlearning.

On October, not long after the current escalation of violence, I had to take a taxi again. A Jewish driver stopped and told me he'll take me, "so an Arab doesn't get you." Israeli Jews are so comfortable saying things like this to each other. My neighbors discussed a Palestinian employee, with one saying "We should tell him not to come anymore, that we want to hire a Jew." The second answered, "No, he'll say it's discrimination," like it would be so ridiculous of him. And the first just shrugged, "So we don't have to tell him why." They didn't go through with it, but they were so casual about this conversation.

In the Torah, we're told to treat those who are foreign to us well, because we know what it's like to be the foreigner. Fighting back against oppression is the natural human thing to do. We know it because we lived it. And as soon as I looked at things from this angle, it wasn't really a choice of what to support.

[adam-scott]

Bend It Like Beckham (2003)

[sttoru]

satoru has his phone in one hand while the other is patting your head, occasionally twirling a strand of your hair around his forefinger and thumb. he loves moments like these, when you’re cuddling together in bed, quietly enjoying the serenity that comes with it.

that is, until you interrupt the cozy silence with your random request.

“‘toru,” your voice is soft, yet it carries a tinge of pain and fear in it. your shaky breath doesn’t go unnoticed either. you tilt your head back and cup his face with one hand, to which satoru responds with by nuzzling his cheek against your palm.

“don’t you ever die before i do, ‘kay? promise me.”

a frown quickly finds its way onto his features as he lowers his phone, setting it aside on the bed. that statement sure is an unexpectedly gloomy one.

“aww, baby,” satoru sighs softly, reaching up to cover your hand with his own. he brings it close to his lips to press a kiss against your palm. he is about to make a joke—an attempt to lighten the mood—but catches the tears sparkling in your eyes and decides against it.

“of course i won’t,” is his determined reply. satoru gazes into your eyes with a reassuring smile. “don’t you do the same, yeah? because if you were to leave this earth before me. . .”

the light in his eyes dims just thinking about the possibility. he swallows thickly before responding, his tone serious as he declares his undying love for you;

“. . . i’d follow your soul right into the afterlife.”

[thesnadger]

I have a question about this image of Xanathar's Thieves Guild.

Why does he have sexily lounging elf boys?

I ask because I cannot imagine a beholder being attracted to anything other than itself. Does he just understand Sexily Lounging Elf Boys to be a status symbol, and he wants anyone who visits to know he can afford Sexily Lounging Elf Boys?

Maybe I'm the asshole here for assuming. Maybe these boyfriends are master tacticians here to advise Xanathar, they happen to like wearing leather pants and no shirts and I should be less quick to reduce them to sex objects.

I don't care, I love it, this is all I can think of every time I see it:

[what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom]

I spent all day on this, now I'm gonna go spend the rest of my Halloween with my family, I LOVE YOU GUYS, HAVE A GOOD HALLOWEEN!!!!!

I lost the ask this was supposed to be attached to :'(

Woah, actual communication??? Between these bozos?? More likely than you'd think 🙏

Previous!!

Next!!

First!!

[adams-r1b]

[cherryluvss]

Clitwarming >>

Just imagining myself lounging around at home while my s/o is working tirelessly at their desk. They haven't taken a break as they know they have to get this work finished but they're nowhere near done.

So I decide to waltz myself over to their home office and take my usual spot under the desk, but I simply place my chin on the base of the chair between their legs, like a puppy craving attention from it's owner.

"I'm sorry baby but I'm so busy right now, you're gonna have to wait a bit okay?" they coo, cupping my cheek with their hand and showing a sincere smile before putting all their focus back onto the computer screen.

But I want to be the one that helps you out, helps you relieve some stress without having to move from the desk.

"Can we try something? I promise it won't be too distracting, trust me" I whisper faintly, perching up slightly on my knees and trailing my fingertips along their exposed thigh.

It's getting late so all they're wearing is an oversized shirt, luckily that makes it easier for me see what I want.

Before they can even get a word in I place my soft lips around the hood of their neglected clit, my tongue just resting peacefully against the bud of nerves. I won't make any sudden movements though, like I said, I won't be too distracting.

The sweet sound of their breathy gasp as they look back down at me, their thighs closing in on my head to prop it up.

Every now and then I feel them rock against my tongue, their wetness seeping into my mouth with each one whilst I stay put.

That's all I'm here for after all, to keep their clit warm in my mouth whilst they use my tongue whenever they need some added friction.

Also helps keep my oral fixation at bay😉

[thelvadams]

TRANSFORMERS ONE (2024) • dir. Josh Cooley

[naiad-r]

Cage me like an animal A crown with gems and gold Eat me like a cannibal Chase the neon throne If I could only let go

Death pact, fulfilled.

[roppiepop]

Who’s coming to the cookout?

[demi-pixellated]

Shadow's No Good, Very Bad Day