#i had a desire and I missed roland

[sleepyfan-blog]

Author’s Note: This is another fic in Cedric’s Adventures in Astartes Husbandry! First. Previous. Next. Thank you to @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan for allowing me to borrow her OCs Zariel and Hura! Also thank you to @kit-williams for allowing me to borrow her OCs Arnault, Roland and Angela

Tagged: @egrets-not-regrets @kit-williams @bleedingichorhearts @the-pure-angel @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan

Warnings: none, ask me to tag if anything bothered you

Summary: Cedric enjoys his weighted quilt and makes thank you jam. A lot of thank you jam.

Cedric silently marveled over the beautiful quilt that Miss Angela had made for him. He ran his calloused hands over the covers, admiring the neat stitching and the high quality feel of the fabric in his hands. Reverent he picked up the blanket and wrapped it around his body, a happy purr rumbling in his chest at how warm it was. It was heavier than the quilts and blankets he had used before…

The additional pressure on his body was wonderful. It reminded him somewhat of being in a pile of sleeping Brothers, after a rough training session, or more recently after a dangerous and difficult mission. Where if they each tried to sleep in their own bunks, night terrors Would haunt them and wake the others with the flailing and noise, so sleeping in a pile together on the floor was for the best.

As the Apothecary of the squad, he had made sure to set an alarm on his vox for ten minutes before Reverie, so that he and his brothers had enough time to wake up and get properly dressed before morning mass and prayers, brought to the prayer room by one of their mentors. They'd been caught in a pile once by his mentor, and while the older Apothecary hadn't been cruel in his scolding and relatively light punishments, he had made it very clear that to be caught in a pile of brothers was to ensure a squad-wide punishment.

Cedric wanted to repay her for the kindness, as he continued to cuddle into the wonderful quilt, but what? He had limited access to materials and had none of the local currency… But there was a forest not far from the city this base was in… and he did know how to forage. It was also midsummer and there should be wild fruits and berries ripe for the picking. He would just double check that anything he picked was safe for baseline consumption first…

~

Cedric woke up with a slight sound, blinking sleepily as he yawns and stretched, rolling his neck and shoulders. He felt so safe and warm. Something soft was pressed against his cheek, so the Primaris happily nuzzled into the sensation, feeling unselfish purr once again. Why he could purr, after having arrived on Ancient Terra was one of the mysteries of the galaxy. Allegedly all Astartes had the ability to learn how to purr.

He had learned this after a sleepover with four of his fellow Primaris Marines, having woken to the sound of several rumbling sounds emanating from his sleeping Brothers… and realizing that he himself had been making the sound.

Cedric had panicked and fled to the medbay, nearly physically running into Apothecary Hura.

“Are you alright, young Cedric?” The very large Death Guard asked, peering down at him and smiling a little at him.

Cedric fidgeted, torn between his instinctual weariness of Chaos Marines and the desire to ask a question of an older and more experienced Apothecary. “I… I woke up hearing a… A strange sound and I am worrying that it is indicative of a respiratory illness. Myself and several other marines were making this sound while sleeping. The sound woke me up and I-I don’t know what it means.”

“Oh? What was the sound, Cedric?” Hura asked, looking at him more assessingly “I do not sense any of Grandfather’s Gifts bestowed upon you.”

“It… It’s a kind of rumbling sound? Like.. Kind of like a growl or a snarl, but not meant to intimidate or warn away?” Cedric explained, fidgeting a little with his hands.

“Rumbling… Oh! Can you mimic the sound for me?” Hura asked, his smile widening a little “I think I may know what it is, but if you could show me, I will be more certain.”

Cedric nodded, taking in a deep breath, closing his eyes and trying to make the strange sound. It took him a couple of tries and a couple of minutes to actually make the quiet, rumbling sound. It felt low in his throat, perhaps even emanating from his chest.

Hura smiled brightly and slowly telegraphed moving one of his hands, ruffling Cedric's hair. “Yes, I know what this is. It is called purring. It is a sound we Asrartes can make. Whether we were always capable of it and only discovered it, or if it was a change within us upon our arrival on Ancient Terra has yet to be discerned. If we ever could. It is a sound of soothing. Of safety, and care. It is a good sound.” The ancient Marine began to purr as well, patting Cedric on the shoulder.

“Oh… Thank you for informing me, sir.” Cedric murmurs, ducking his head a little, embarrassed that he had panicked over a good thing.

“You don't have to call me sir, Cedric. We are both Apothecaries and I am not in charge of you. We are colleagues.” Hura hummed.

“I… Th-thank you si-Appthecary Hura. That is very generous of you.” Cedric murmured, eyes going wide.

The young Black Templar mentally shook himself out of his Reverie, realizing that he was purring to himself. Not that he was terribly surprised, given how comfortable and cozy he felt all wrapped up in this tremendously thoughtful gift. Cedric checked the time, stretched and yawned as he slowly got up, carefully folding the blanket and placing it reverently on the bed before heading off to requisitions for all the things he would need to make jam from scratch.

He also informed the front desk person that he was heading out into the forest to collect berries and expected to be gone for several hours to get the amount he needed. The front desk person- one of the baselines attached to a Salamander who lived on base was mildly surprised but wished him well on his task.

~

Cedric marveled at how beautiful Holy Terra is at this point in time. Back in M42 the atmosphere had been long burnt away to a thin, smoggy layer that didn't do much more than slowly poison anyone unfortunate enough to breathe in its unfiltered air. If there were living plants on Holy Terra, it was because they were specifically cultivated on the orders of the Lords of Terra in raised beds, tended to by specialized serfs.

He had seen wild spaces on a handful of worlds that he had visited, but he hadn't ever been able to enjoy nor explore them. Always on a mission for the emperor on the eternal Crusade that his chapter took. The concept of having time off, more than the handful of hours assigned to sleep was baffling to the young Primaris. He still struggled with the concept, though it had been introduced to him months ago, shortly after he had arrived on M3 Holy Terra.

Cedric closed his eyes as he took in deep breaths, enjoying the fresh scents of the plants, trees and nutrient fish soil beneath his feet. It was pleasantly warm, and a slight breeze was causing the leaves and branches on the trees to stir. With a small smile Cedric made his way through the forest, finding a large patch of thorny vines. The vines themselves were a light brown color with off-white thorns. The leaves grew off of thinner stems branching off the thicker vines and were a bright green with serrated edges. Many of the vines were filled with dark purple-black cluster berries, though some of them were a striking reddish color, and a few were green.

Cedric carefully plucked one of the dark berries, popping it into his mouth, a soft sound of surprise leaving him at the startlingly intense sweet-tart taste of the berries… And the slight crunch of the tiny seeds within them. These were delicious! Cedric plucked one of the redder berries and winced, as the tartness of this berry overwhelmed the sweet, meaning that it was likely unripe.

He briefly looked at the green berries before deciding that they were probably more unripe than the reddish berries, and thus left them alone. As his Bletcher’s gland hadn't started giving him extra phlegm or saliva, he knew that these berries weren't poisonous, and began collecting berries from these thorny vines.

Cedric made sure to collect the largest, darkest berries for the jam he intended on making, while also being sure not to strip any one of the bushes completely of the tasty fruit, mindful that the fauna likely fed on these berries and might suffer if he was greedy.

~

Time passed and Cedric had one ten-pound bucket filled with delicious black berries. His high healing factor had dealt with the many little cuts and nicks that he had suffered while collecting the bounty of the berries… Though his hands were partially stained with the sweet juice of the berries as some of them had burst, despite his best efforts to be gentle while collecting berries.

He returned to base and carefully followed the proper cleaning protocols for the berries, laying them out to dry as he set up the four saucepans, letting them heat up. Cedric hummed to himself as he measured out the sugar, circus juice and pectin that he would need for each batch to turn into jam. He also set up twenty-five jam jars, as if his calculations were correct, ten pounds of berries would fill twenty-five eight-ounce containers of jam. He had triple checked his math, and also set up a huge pot of water to start heating it up, so that the jam would be properly sealed.

Cedric timed putting the berries into the four sauce pans so that would have enough time between each of the pans so that the process of the jamming process to devote to each saucepan without getting flustered or worried that the others weren't getting the attention they needed when it was time.

He tasted the jam throughout the process, making sure to adjust the sweet-tart ratio for optimum taste and texture, pouring the hot jam into the glass jars and screwing the lids on tight. He then lowered the filled jam jars into the water bath to boil until the hot water caused the jam-jars to self-seal. Cedric repeated this process until all twenty-five half-pint jam-jars were properly sealed.

Cedric carefully labeled each of the jars of blackberry jam with a label and a pen, using his best handwriting in both Gothic and his best translation into the local language.

“What are you making? It smells delicious.” Apothecary Zariel asked, peering into the small kitchen that Cedric had commandeered for the day.

“Blackberry-lemon jam, sir!” Cedric answered promptly, gesturing to the still lightly steaming jars as he grabbed the basket he intended to use to carry the jam jars to Miss Angela's home. After checking to make sure it was okay to visit, first off course.

“That is. A lot of jam Cedric.” Zariel hummed, looking over the neatly stacked rows of fruit preserves. “Any particular reason why you decided to make jam?”

“Well… Miss Angela made me a weighted quilt. I thanked her for it, but it is a very nice blanket and I wanted to give something back! I also found a lot of blackberries with which to make jam! And I plan on offering thank-you jam to others as well. For helping me adapt and settle on Holy Terra.” Cedric explained, feeling a touch shy.

“That's quite thoughtful of you. I'm sure your giftees will be delighted with the jam.” The Ultramarine Apothecary responded before heading off.

~

Cedric had divided the jam jars into two separate baskets. He was fairly sure that ten jars of homemade jam was probably a reasonable thank you gift for a hand-made quilt. Hopefully…

The other fifteen he planned to give out to others. His first stop was at Ash'val's office. The Salamander was out, likely handling some of the visiting Scouts, but that didn’t put Cedric off at all. He mere placed a filled jam jar on his desk before leaving. His next stop was the base commander, who was in a meeting with several others.

Not a problem! Cedric left the jam jar on his office window sill and labeled it with his name on it before stealthily moving to the Reclusiam. He left two jam jars there. One for Chaplain Feldarim, the other for Ramiel. After that, he swung by the apothecaries’ offices, leaving a jar for Hura, Zariel and two other older apothecaries who had been kind enough to take him under their tutelage.

With seven jars left, he made sure to keep one back for Claude, Jophiel and Catius in his room, labeling their jars with their names. As expected, three jars left of the fifteen not meant for Miss Angela.

Cedric then headed over to the forges, peeking in, looking for Pyrus. He found the other business working on something and made his way over to the Salamander Scout’s assigned cubby, placing the jam jar and making sure it had the other’s name on it.

The primaris black Templar walked back to the reception area of the base when he spotted Brother Roland and happily trotted up to the older Templar, greeting him with a cheerful “Hallo sir!”

“Hello Cedric. You wouldn't happen to know why the base smells like fruit today, would you? It is distracting and I hope to get some. Blackberries go great with many kinds of brot.” Roland informed Cedric.

Ah. Oops. He had forgotten that the sweet smell would carry far, especially to throw sensitive noses of Astartes. “Ja, I do. I have been making jam today. For thank you gifts. These are for you and miss Bakerin. Both of you have been very kind to me, and I just… Thank you.” He tried to explain, pulling out two of the jars and offering them out to the other, desperately trying to ignore how awkward he was suddenly feeling.

“That's quite thoughtful of you. Danke, Cedric. My bonded and I will enjoy these very much.” Roland responded, reaching out to ruffle Cedric's short hair and then take the offered jars of jam.

“I am glad to hear that. I am going to call Arnault. I made jam for him and his bonded as well.” Cedric explained.

“I am sure they will enjoy the jam as well. Have a good day, kleiner bruder.” Roland hummed before heading further into the base.

~

Arnault (the Emperor's Champion!!) was indeed content to allow Cedric to wander up to his home when he had called, so the Primaris marine navigated his way through the bustling baseline city successfully, making his way to the pairs cozy looking home. Cedric readjusted his grip on the basket of jam jars and did his best to suppress the rising worry gnawing at his hearts and knocked on the door.

“Come on in, Cedric.” Arnault called out from within the home.

“Yes sir.” Cedric acknowledged before promptly obeying the command, carefully opening, entering and then closing the door behind him. “I have a thank you gift, for both of you. I hope you enjoy it.”

“That’s very sweet of you, Cedric! Thank you.” Angela piped up as she set down the cloth and needle she had been holding. She stood up from the couch and walked over to Cedric, taking the basket and peeking inside “what kind of jams are these?”

“Blackberry and lemon! There is a large patch of them growing in the forest nearby, so I picked some of the ripest of them and made jam. I made sure to seal the sterilized jars properly, so they will last for years if stored correctly.” Cedric explained cheerfully “You made something for me and I wanted to reciprocate. Both you and Arnault have been very kind and generous to me, and I am very grateful.”

“Danke, Cedric. I do love blackberries.” Arnault hummed “but they go bad so quickly when they are fresh. I wasn't aware that Primaris Marines were taught ration supplementation.”

“I'm not sure if all of us were. My mentor taught me how to properly can, dehydrate, pickle and make jerky of pretty much anything edible we came across while on Crusade. It's amazing how much a little bit of surprise jam will do for squad morale on a long or rough mission.” Cedric explained with a small shrug. “He said that just because we astartes can eat just about anything and survive it doesn't mean we should be sloppy about what we eat. That and keeping any baseline support staff alive is important on longer missions. The Imperium is at it's strongest when we all work together.”

“That's true enough. Come, sit down little brother and enjoy some of this jam with us.” Arnault ordered, gesturing for Cedric to come further into his home.

“Yes sir.” The young Apothecary responded, happily obeying his very cool older brother.

[davycoquette]

depraved new world, dec. 1993

Content warning for a short aside about oral sex. After an uncomfortable phone conversation with his father a year into his incarceration, Ruck eats paper and makes nice with his cellmate.

RJ was moved to the annex, and Ruck briefly had the cell to himself. Even the quiet and the freedom to choose the television station, however, was not enough to stitch together the wound that had been tearing itself incrementally wider since his conversation with Donovan Rucker.

During leisure hours, Coy liked to visit. He’d let Ruck fuck him for nothing, or next to it. You got my back, right? and once for a Time Out bar he’d saved from the cafeteria. Sometimes they’d hang a sheet over the cell door and Coy would sit on the cold concrete between his thighs and suck him off. Ruck didn’t know if he hated him more for acting as if he liked it, or because he was so damn good at it.

He knew he hated himself more than he hated Coy.

The visits stopped when Roland Fairfax was assigned to the cell with him. The man was dark-headed, with eyes far too kind for prison. Ruck, who had moved his things down to the bottom bunk, asked him what he’d done.

Roland wouldn’t answer the question.

“Nothin’ with kids?” Ruck asked, the same as RJ had asked him when he was new. “You ain’t killed no dog, didja?”

Roland said it was neither of those, but he was aloof, and Ruck wasn’t interested in knowing him better, or in much of anything. He spent his free time in his bunk, and counted down the days without anything to look forward to.

For his good behavior, he was permitted to add a few touches to the cell. First and foremost he wanted his guitar — but also a pen and notebook.

Bess and Nattie brought both of these the next time they visited, and he drew crude tattoo ideas in the notebook and practiced his guitar out in the yard. It was harder now. The finger he had broken didn’t move as easily as it had, and he’d been a year without practice. It was unsatisfying, too, to play an electric guitar without an amp.

It soon collected dust in the corner — though Roland started to mess with it — and Ruck worked at penning letters.

One was for Lou. It was short, and he thanked him for his friendship and patience, and all the weed. He asked about Angie and her big tits. The letter ended with an offer for Lou and Angie to send him photos of the latter — bra optional — if they so desired.

Another was for Nicely. He was like a father — kind of — and had always done right by Ruck. He was mostly sorry for all the times he’d smoked in the cars instead of working, but instead made his apology about letting the old man down by getting locked up and leaving him without a gopher. (He figured that was an easily replaceable position, but sent the letter anyway.)

Last, he penned the one he'd wanted a pen for in the first place.

i’m sorry for how i acted. you were the only real freind i had and i always had a good time when i was with you. i should’ve said fuck whatever anybody else thinks, i should’ve stood by you. you’ll probally be glad to know my dad found out everything anyways so trying to act like you didn’t mean nothing to me didn’t do me any good. i still think about you and wish we’d got to go to all those places we said we was going to. i wish we was still freinds and sometimes i think i’m never gonna know anybody again how i knew you. i hope you’re doing good wherever you are & that you have good people. i miss you man, i wish things was diffrent.

He leaned over the notebook in his bunk and reread the sentimental slop over again. His heart twisted up in his chest, and he tore the shred of paper in half to save the lower section of the page and methodically fed it into his mouth.

Roland listened to the sound of chewing and paper crinkling for a long while from the top bunk, then asked, “You wanna take a walk?”

They took a few slow laps around the yard. Roland didn’t ask him anything, didn’t tell him anything. They talked about prison lunches instead, and the strange cartoons on television these days. MTV and working at the plant (which Roland was still trying to swing).

They didn’t talk about anything important, but it was an easy conversation, and Ruck felt a little lighter when they made it back to the cell for the night.

@fortunatetragedy tag for youuuu

[sweetmariihs2]

A headcanon-like thing I would like to share about Queen Lorelei

Tw: death during childbirth and some light mentions of suicide and grieving

I love Queen Lorelei (King Roland's deceased wife). She barely appears or it's mentioned in the show? Yes. But oh well. Fandom.

We believe she's that genuinely kind deceased character, that everyone remembers as sweet and beautiful, always more gentle than the world was to her, like a ray of sunshine. She's absolutely adored by everyone and her beauty and kindness always brought all the eyes in the room to her and her sweet laughs and smiles.

But unfortunately she died some time after she got married, during the childbirth of the princes that her body wasn't made to support, because the only reason she got pregnant in the first place was the wishing well, and that action had consequences, which means, she got pregnant indeed but that didn't changed the fact her body wasn't capable of enduring this.

And well, she died because of that. I usually feel really bad about childbirth deaths, because I feel like that could have been avoided months earlier. She was well and healthy but trying to have children took her life, and that just happened because she wanted to have a family and live a happy life.

But well, despite being something that lacks information, her story and character fascinates me, and we try to suppress that desire to see her story through fanfiction and fanmade content.

In my case, I have a constant habit of relating characters to songs, in some cases to whole artists if their whole discography match this character or fandom. For example I can't hear some of Aurora's songs without thinking of Cedric.

In Lorelei's case, it was something I never spoke about, but since we're in a fandom and in constant search for STF related stuff and fan content to keep enjoying our favorite show, I decided to share this.

Basically, I'm a HUGE Lana Del Rey fan since around 2019. I know 90% of her released songs and I also listen to some of her unreleaseds (that despite me knowing a ton of unreleaseds there are more than 200 wandering through the internet so there's no way I know all of them)

During the start of her carreer (actually, her first albums, since her career started years before the debut album) Lana's songs told us stories. Some key words that I would like to relate to her songs are: girlhood, nostalgia and melancholy (+or tragedy if you think about it)

In her first albums (Born to Die + The Paradise Version which is a deluxe of BTD) her songs were centered around nostalgic stories and feelings surrounding girls' experiences. Because she is so beautiful and often delicate while singing about darker topics, it's like her voice and lyric choice just interconnect. She sang about girls who lost their lovers, about beautiful girls that felt unhappy or/because they wasted their youth, about tragic endings, like being taken away from your friends during your teenage years because you guys were doing all kinds of crazy stuff at that time (this song is called This Is What Makes Us Girls), all of this surrounded by a feeling of nostalgia, as if those stories had happened a long time ago.

(Her songs weren't made to romanticize anything, like some people say they were; in fact, a huge part of these songs were inspired by her own life and feelings, and Lana is just telling us stories.)

So, going back to Lorelei, some of Lana's songs remind me of her. Based on what I said you can understand why. But not only that, Lana has some very specific songs that kinds match the fandom's headcanons of how Lorelei would be like (since we have no official info about her character).

Like in the song Blue Velvet, which is a cover from Bobby Vinton's song, but Lana brought a whole different feeling to it. Bringing it to the context of her album, her version sounds a lot more heartbreaking than the original one. The lyrics are about a male character missing his lover, singing about her blue velvet dress and how he will never forget about his love for her, even after she passed. Lana's version has a whole orchestral instrumental through the song and mostly at the end of it, making the song sound nostalgic, tragic and even sounds like some kind of anthem close to the end.

There's also the song Carmen, where there is a girl called Carmen, who attracts all eyes to her and is known for her beauty, but deep inside she's not mentally well, and people seem not to care about or notice how she's feeling. By the end of the song she even gets a love confession (in french), probably hinting at the fact that she receives many of them, but it doesn't matter because those who give them don't really know her or care about it. Despite her state "she's still shining" (in Lana's words), because even though she's suffering, she's still beautiful and loved by people.

In the song Born To Die, Lana sings about enjoying your life while it's still happening, because we're gonna die sooner or later. In the music video the scenes interwine with her sitting in a throne and spending time with a lover, who seems to give her an unhealthy relationship, judging by his aggresive behavior. At the end of the music video they're travelling together by car and her boyfriend, the driver, tries to force her to kiss him back, and because of that their car crashes and she dies in his arms, making him face his guilt because he was the one who did this to her. Tragic ending.

Dark Paradise is a song about grieving a loved one. It was made based on her feelings and her life.

These are some of the songs that match because of the lyrics, but being honest, because of the album being so concrete, the lyrics don't even need to match for me to remember her, because as I said this album is about nostalgic girlhood and melancholia, and she often sings about memories like in the song This Is What Makes Us Girls, that was also inspired by her teenage years when she was taken from her friends, but the memories she carries with them last till this day and it makes her miss those times.

Going to the unreleased, there are so many more. Like the song Angels Forever, where she's singing about memories that at her youth she never thought they were going to end: "we were angels forever, forever angels".

Or Fine China, where she is watching a friend having their first child, and remembering that at her own wedding years ago her groom left her at the wedding, depriving her of the dream life she would have liked to have had, singing "I'm going down now, with all of my fine china and fresh linen, all of my dresses with them tags still on", hinting at what was left of the wedding, of a life she couldn't have, but that she was watching others around her having it in her place. This song kinda reminds me of Roland to be honest, even thought his story with Lorelei isn't really related to their wedding, he was also deprived of a life he wish he could have had. And he had her dresses packed, her stuff still there in the castle, just like in the song the pov had her fine china and dresses with tags still on (they were never used).

It kinda fits even more with that headcanon that Cedric was in love with Lorelei. He never had the chance to live a life with her, and he's a bachelor till this day, watching all the weddings and happy lives through the years but never being a part of them, thinking about what would have happened if life wasn't so cruel.

I had these thoughts and despite being a bit niche I still felt like it should be shared. I know that not many people are fans of listening to recommended songs (at least in my case that's true), but I also made this post for those who already know some of those songs and didn't noticed these connections with Lorelei's story. Those who don't know the songs and want to listen to them now are also very welcomed.

I think about how amazing would be if I made a fanfic about this and using these songs. But I won't do it, it's just a thought. Feel free to do it though, I would absolutely love to read that.

[majoresca]

Come here, if the wishing well near the castle is all about that "get what you want and lose what you have" vibe.

WHY DID NOBODY DISAPPEAR WITH THAT THING?

Close it with stones, put a wall around it, destroy it or at least hide it and put up a huge DANGER sign! DO NOT USE IT!

( King Stefan, Aurora's father, made a point of destroying ALL THE SPINNING WINDS IN HIS KINGDOM! No one would make any more fabric for at least sixteen years!They would have to spend buying fabric from outside the kingdom, or mending old rags all this time. And even so,Maleficent's magic created a spinning wheel that completed the curse.)

But what about the other wishing wells? Are they normal? Because they do not appear in a negative light in Enchancia's anthem, in fact, they are portrayed in a positive light. Therefore, demonstrating that only the wishing well in the possession of the royal family of Enchancia has this flaw in its operating conditions.

Headcanon:

The wishing well was sabotaged with evil magic, to harm the royal family that used it.

And those responsible for the corruption of the wishing well are conspirators against the crown, and are members of the Order of the Wand.

And that's why it's the only one with questionable functioning.

I even deduce that it was one of the first attempts by the Order of the Wand to weaken one of the kingdoms, to take power from the throne.

( I don't think it was Cedric who did this, even he has ethical limits. If he were the author, he would have done something unforgivable.)

But, I believe it must have been another magic user close enough to the family to know that Roland would use the well, perhaps even being the advisor himself who suggested the use of the magical artifact, being the author of its corruption.

Perhaps, the author didn't even need to be a magic user or be magical in the first place , just make a wish for the well to change its own magic.

So that it, in the fulfillment of wishes, now took as payment something that would be most missed by those who made their request.

In a kind of equivalent exchange: the author of the request to fulfill his own desires, would lose one of his most valuable possessions.

But why would anyone be interested in harming Roland and Lorelei's family?

To prevent the birth of new direct heirs to the throne.

Since Roland had already assumed the crown, Enchancia's official bloodline would b now traced from his children onwards. And not by his sister Tilly's heirs, as she had already abdicated the throne.

By killing the queen and the kids in childbirth, they would end the bloodline of the official crown of Enchancia . Or at least they would delay it enough, before the king remarried and have other children as heirs to the throne.

Since then, this would emotionally destabilize the king, to the point of weakening the kingdom consequently. It is easier then to carry out attempts to take the throne of Enchancia.

But, as only the queen Lorelei died during childbirth, leaving twin children Amber and James, this would put the king on alert for all users of magic and magical artifacts, making him more difficult to be tricked by members of the Order of the Wand.

So the Order of the Wand would have to wait for a more opportune moment, having to start over and change their strategies to resume plans to take the throne of Enchancia for themselfs.

[estrogenpatchnotes]

I'm usually pretty happy about where I am in life so far but sometimes I hear a throwaway piece of music from the late 80s or early 90s that was only supposed to be played in a mall or go in a stock CD or maybe in a kind of mediocre PC game that some youtuber makes a video about 30 years later to say "eh it was alright, music is great though.", the kind of music that gets sampled in a mostly plagiaristic vaporwave EP by someone desperately feeling the desire that it had been theirs and I feel like I missed my calling. That 30 years ago I should have been a kinda burnt out 30 year old woman making enough to live on but not a lot with a home office full of mid end synthesizers and a recording setup and a shitty desktop PC to plug my Roland SC into banging out wallpaper music while my friends talked about how I'd never find a man because of my recording cave cause it was the 90s and no one straight new how much pussy a room full of synthesizers gets you.

[typingtess]

NCIS: Los Angeles Season 14 Rewatch:    “Of Value”

The basics:  The team works to save a married team of architects with DoD contracts who were kidnapped in front of their children and nanny

Written by:   Kyle Harimoto wrote "Omni", "Merry Evasion", "Chernoff, K", "Command and Control" as episode 150, "Granger, O.", "Ghost Gun", "Kulinda", "767", "Se Murio El Payaso", "Assets"/"Liabilities", "Venganza", "Superhuman", "One of Us", "Let Fate Decide" (season 11 premiere), "Decoy", "Answers" , "Watch Over Me", "Cash Flow", "Fukushu", "Bonafides" and “Come Together” (season 13 finale).  He co-wrote "Three Hearts", "Leipei", "Humbug", both ends of the "Matryoshka" two-parter, "Smokescreen" part two, "Searching", "A Fait Acompli" and "A Tale of Two Igors" (season 12 finale). 

Directed by:   Diana C. Valentine who directed "Lokhay", "Fallout", Three Hearts", "The 3rd Choir", "Forest for the Trees", "Beacon", "Unspoken", "Seoul Man", "Crazy Train", "Under Pressure”, "Better Angels" and “The Circle”.  This is Valentine’s first episode with the series since season 11.

Guest stars of note:  Bar Paly as Anastasia "Anna" Kolcheck and Duncan Campbell as NCIS Special Agent Castor are both back from “Come Together”.  Gregory D. Gadson as Army Colonel Jackson Ladd, Sigrid Owen as Mila Curren, Regina Ting Chen as Navy Commander Cheng, Melanie Hawkins as Linsey Sandhagen, Lawrence J. Hughes as Emmett Sandhagen, Elester Lantham as Jerry, Dominic Zamprogna as Paul Figueiredo, Kaya Jackson as Sophia Sandhagen, Devin Looc as Ty Sandhagen, Matthew Law as Josh McCall, Alain Mora as Chito Aldana, Torshawn Roland as Jay and Glen Steele as Man.

Our heroes:   Are oddly paired up in this episode.

What important things did we learn about: Callen:   Wanted to be an architect when he was a kid. Sam:   Taking Raymond to a specialist in Orange County. Kensi:   Parent teacher meeting attendee. Deeks:   Getting in required time at the range. Fatima:   Likes the Lakers, especially Lakers games with her dad. Rountree:  Running Ops like a boss. Kilbride:  Searching for a friend.

What not so important things did we learn about: Callen:   Misses Sam while teamed with Deeks. Sam:   Absent. Kensi:   Not a big sister to Fatima, certainly not a favorite aunt. Deeks:  Writing essays and not doing calculus. Fatima:   Using the entirely wrong skincare products according to her mom. Rountree:   Arguing with Kilbride about college football. Kilbride:  Arguing with Rountree about college football.

Where in the world is Henrietta Lange?  Not a mention.

Who's down with OTP:   Kensi and Deeks spent almost no time together in this hour.  The chatted about Rosa to start the episode and grabbed a bite with Callen and Fatima to end the hour.  Callen and Anna had a nice coffee run to start the day and some wine in the garden at the end.

Who's down with BrOTP:  Forget the bros, Kensi and Fatima were sisters doing it for themselves.  They had a lovely chat in the Kensi’s Audi, worked hand in glove to save the day. 

Fashion review:   Callen wore a blue/green/white plaid button down shirt.  A white with thin black stripes henley for Kensi.  A grey long-sleeve tee for Deeks.  Fatima is wearing a white turtleneck under a royal blue sweatshirt.  A denim jacket with a pink tee-shirt for Rountree.  A blue three piece-suit with a white dress shirt and red tie for the Admiral.

Music:   Lots.  This is season one level of music usage.  “Collect Your Things and Run” by Hot Water Music opens the episode in the teaser.  “L’enfant roi” by Noir Desir plays as Kensi and Fatima are taking out the bad guys.  “Blue on Black” by Kenny Wayne Shepherd is playing at the bar where Col. Ladd is drinking.  “Good Things Come with Time” plays while Callen and Anna are having a moment at the end of the episode.

Any notable cut scene:   Not today.

Quote:  Col. Ladd:  “When I was a junior officer, I was a door kicker.  First one through every time.  Every time.  Then I moved to Intel, where I protected and led some of the toughest, most well-trained men on the planet.  And you know what happened on Sunday?  I'm walking into the store.  Old lady runs ahead of me opens the door, looks at me with those eyes.  Like I was less than.  I was a damn super hero, Hollace.  And now I got some old lady's pity.”

Anything else:    A young guy is skateboarding down a street with a friend recording him.  As they wrap out this shot, a delivery robot, Yum Inside, tries to pass them.  They think about stealing the food inside when an older neighbor tells them to not to steal.   Things get tense until a van comes barreling down the street.  It runs over Yum Inside (RIP) with food and beverages going everywhere.  A woman runs to the older man and the skateboard crew yelling “stop that van!”

Callen and Anna are walking home from a great coffee shop near their new home.  She has a job interview with the Surfrider Foundation, an environmental group.  Callen is bit surprised Anna is leaving law enforcement but remembers she made up a story about working in an area destroyed by fires when she was looking for Katya.  They pass an older man gardening.  Callen has a Pembrook flashback.

Updating Deeks by phone, Kensi is leaving a meeting with Rosa’s teachers, who are impressed with how well she is doing considering the turmoil she been through over the last six months.  The teachers did notice that Deeks helped write one of her essays and that Rosa could use a math tutor.  Deeks thinks they should be the people Rosa turns to when she has problems.  Kensi agrees.  She’s ordering a calculus text book and Deeks can start tutoring her immediately.  For the sake of the economy, Deeks thinks they should hire a tutor.

Callen arrives to a nearly empty office.  Fatima is there with news that Sam is taking his father to see a specialist in Orange County.   She also mentions that Kilbride and Rountree are fighting over college football but she quickly tuned that out.  Callen is surprised – Fatima said she was a sports fan.  No, she’s a Lakers fan and a Lakers fan when she can go to a game with her dad.  Callen asks about Fatima’s mother, who is doing well.  So well, in fact, that she can focus her attention on all the things Fatima is doing wrong with her life.  Starting with skincare.  Callen finds this all interested so he’s joining them for the next family brunch.  Rountree texts Fatima – he's in Ops and they have a case.

The case is the kidnapping of Linsey and Emmett Sandhagen from their Westwood home.  The kidnapping was witnessed by their nanny, Mila Curren.  The Sandhagens have two children – a boy and a girl - and are architects.  Callen asks why NCIS is involved.  Rountree explains that the Sandhagens specialize in designing secure facilities and are civilian DOD contractors working close with the Seabees.  Callen details Kensi and Fatima to Port Hueneme to talk to the Seabees while he and Deeks will interview Mila Curren.

With Agent Castor, the Sandhagen children are playing a game in the interview room.  Juice boxes for everyone.  Curren is being interviewed in the boatshed’s main room.  She was getting the kids ready for school when she heard Emmet yell.  Three men with ski-masks were in the kitchen as she started down the stairs.  Seeing the men, she ran back upstairs and put the kids in a secure safe room.

Deeks asks if the men went after the kids – they did not.  Curren is confused since the house has a lot of pricy items, expensive pieces of art.  The only thing the kidnappers wanted was the Sandhagens.  Asked about any stress points in their lives, Curren is stunned – the Sandhagens are the nicest people.  Everyone loves them.  They took her on a family vacation with the kids to Hawaii.  There were no money issues.  Curren is upset for the children and Deeks looks worried too.

In Ops, the Admiral arrives, asking if Kensi and Fatima are at Port Hueneme yet.  They are about 20-minutes out.  He asks Rountree for information about a Col. Jackson Ladd.  Rountree finds some info but it likely isn’t current.  The address had Col. Ladd’s name removed from the utilities a while back.  Rountree asks about Ladd.  The Admiral calls Ladd the finest the man to ever serve in the Army in every conflict going back 25-years.  In his last deployment, Ladd lost both legs in a door breech explosion.  Ladd is struggling to figure out where he belongs in the world after being the best of the best and losing it all in an instant. 

Driving to Port Hueneme, Fatima asks Kensi about “the whole parenting thing” – easier or harder than they thought it would be.  Kensi says it isn’t easier or harder, just different.  She was so worried about how Rosa would be emotionally after settling in with them but things are going really well. 

Kensi asks about Fatima about Akhil.  Fatima thinks they are solidly in the friend zone.  Fatima isn’t sure what she wants.  The last time she was dating, she was acting, partying, going out all night every night.  After the accident, she changed everything about herself.  Literally, everything except her family.  Kensi thinks it is a good thing.  Fatima agrees but New Fatima doesn’t know how to do relationships the way Old Fatima did.  Kensi likes the New Fatima and is honored to consider her a friend.  Fatima is happy since she admires Kensi.  Kensi stops Fatima and tells her not to compare her to an older sister.  Fatima wouldn’t, she thinks of Kensi more like a favorite aunt.  That didn’t go well.

Exiting interrogation, Castor tells Callen and Deeks how much he likes the Sandhagen children. Callen thinks for their safety, Castor should take the kids and Curren to Seal Beach and have them guarded at the base.  On the plasma, Rountree has the Sandhagens’s financials.  No credit card debt, large savings and retirement accounts.  There is a vacation home in Hawaii.  Deeks thinks he and Kensi are just like the Sandhagens except for the vacation home, saving and retirement accounts and oh yeah, money. 

Signing off with the boatshed, Rountree turns to a returning Admiral with questions about Ladd.  Rountree hasn’t found any credit card or ATM activity in days.  The Admiral wants LAPD to do a welfare check at Ladd’s home. 

Finally at Port Hueneme, Kensi and Fatima meet with a Commander Cheng.  Cheng supervises the work done by the Seabees.  The Sandhagens were well-regarded by both the Seabees and the Navy staff.  Kensi asks about what the Sandhagens did for the Navy.  As soon as Kensi asks a question, Cheng stops and asks about the Sandhagen children.  She is relieved to hear they are safe.

The Sandhagens are civilian contractors currently working with on three of the Navy’s top projects.  Fatima explains that the SECNav has been in contact with Kilbride.  The three projects all have enhanced security since the kidnapping.  The three locations include a weapon depot at Camp Pendleton and an underground drone control base in the Mojave.  The third location was the Sandhagens’s “masterpiece”.  Kensi and Fatima were not briefed on that project and could only speak in person with Cheng about it.

The third location is a multiservice missile deterrence command and control center built directly into a mountain in a classified location.  Cheng can’t share the location with Kensi or Fatima.  The command center is responsible for over 300 missiles on US soil.  If a hostile foreign government or terrorist get control of that location, they could “take out most of our domestic military operations with the ballistic missiles,” according to Cheng. 

Back on the plasma, Rountree found a partner in the Sandhagens business.  Paul Figueiredo has some money but it all pales in comparison to the Sandhagens fortune.  And he has a ton of credit card debt.  They are all equal partners in the firm.  Deeks wonders if the Sandhagens are funneling company profits right into their accounts.  Callen thinks they could be selling classified info to the highest bidder. 

Paul Figueiredo is in the boatshed’s main room – Castor picked him up.  He’s sick about what happened to the Sandhagens and will do whatever is needed to help.  But first he asks about Ty and Sophia – the Sandhagen children.  He’s also asking if Mila is with the kids.  He’s relieved to hear they are all in a security location.

Callen asks about the business.  Figueiredo owns a third, Linsey owns a third and Emmet owns a third.  Looking at the Sandhagens’s financials and Figueiredo’s, Callen points out the difference.  Figueiredo is a bit surprised he was being investigated but he has nothing to hide.  He explains that while he is a partner in the military contracting business, the Sandhagens have a civilian business and he’s not a part of that.

It is Deeks’s turn to be surprised since there is no record of that business in any of the Sandhagens’s financials.  That was intentional, according to Figueiredo.  The business is held by a series of trusts so make sure nothing could be traced back to the family.  The civilian jobs were safe rooms in houses and businesses, “bug out” cabins in the mountains.  Wealthy people are willing to pay for safety. 

Figueiredo was offered an equal share in that business but he wasn’t interested.  Unlike the Sandhagens, he doesn’t live to work.  Working allows him to camp, hunt, surf, do jujitsu – things he wants to do.  Callen asks if he has any remorse about not joining with the Sandhagens when he saw the money coming in.  He doesn’t because the Sandhagens worked 24/7/365 to get the business launched.  And it was a huge accomplishment.  While Figueiredo does not know who the Sandhagens’s private sector clients were, he knew all business was done from their home office. 

Driving back from Port Hueneme, Kensi tells the Admiral they are about 40-minutes out.  The Admiral is going to send Kensi and Fatima a list of the Sandhagens’s private clients.  This makes more sense – anything the kidnappers could get from private clients would be a lot easier to sell than military items.  The SECNav is still protecting the military projects.

Deeks is blown away by the Sandhagen home.  Being an architect pays.  Callen mentions wanting to be an architect as a kid.  Deeks thought he’d like it too without the math and engineering.  Near the door is a group of fun family photos of the Sandhagens – family events, skiing, bike riding, just living their happy lives.  Deeks is horrified they were taken from their own home.  Callen asks about Rosa.  Deeks is in awe – Rosa fit in a like a champ though he’s pretty sure she’s really sick of him asking if there is anything she wants to talk about.  “Well, I think we all are at this point,” Callen snarks. 

Deeks asks about the engagement.  Callen tells him that Anna is looking at life in Los Angeles without a career in law enforcement.  Deeks is sorry that Anna wants out of law enforcement but understands better than anyone the downside of a “two badge family.”  Deeks starts talking about future Callen-Anna kids but Callen is happy to have found the Sandhagen office.

With Rountree, Callen and Deeks get a list of the Sandhagen clients.  The Admiral is now back in Ops.  There are a lot of banks, stores and high net-worth individuals on the client list.  Kensi-Fatima and Callen-Deeks are going to check clients near their locations, the FBI HRT will also help.

Rountree breaks the news to Kilbride that LAPD found nothing but some empty whiskey bottles and a lot of empty beer cans in Col. Ladd’s home.  The Admiral is waiting for another bit of bad news but the empty bottles and cans were Rountree’s sad story.  The Admiral is outraged.  Long before meditation and mindfulness unleashed by Rountree’s generation, “many, many generations before you achieved the exact same result using a combination of whiskey and beer.”  The Admiral storms out.

Kensi and Fatima checked out an armored truck depot and a fancy watch store.  Next on their list is a Santa Monica bank, a place called Even Mavrik and a high-end cigar and wine place.  Kensi wants to go back to Even Mavrik, which in Hebrew mean “brilliant stone.”  They are diamond brokers.

As Callen and Deeks leave and Sandhagen home, Rountree calls.  The client list was last downloaded a month ago.  Callen thinks it could be for quarterly taxes but the Sandhagens were working on a project in Port Hueneme.  Commander Cheng verified they were with her.  Mila the Nanny becomes a suspect.

Castor brings Curren to the interrogation room.  She notices it is a lot more cramp than the outside area where she was questioned earlier.   Deeks want to clarify that Curren was working for the Sandhagens since she graduated from Harvey Mudd, one of the country’s top colleges for engineering.  Curren explained that it took her a little longer to finish college because she didn’t have rich parents but she graduated with a computer science degree. 

Deeks mentions the $230,000 in student loan debt.  And while the Sandhagens pay well, with rent, cellphone bills, Wi-Fi costs and food, that doesn’t leave much for monthly student loan payments.  But even with all money going out, Curren hasn’t missed a loan payment.  She tries to explain that she’s worked hard but Deeks cuts her off.   He knows it is hard to come up with spare cash like that every single month to buy a money order from the local 7-Eleven to pay for the monthly loan.  Curren asks if that is a problem.  It isn’t, Callen tells her, as long as she has records for the incoming cash.  She sells clothes to Buffalo Exchange and they pay in cash.  It’s not a problem for Deeks, he’ll just get the records from Buffalo Exchange.

Nervous, Curren explains that her parents were so excited when she got into Harvey Mudd.  They just didn’t understand how much debt she’d wind up incurring by getting her degree.  She actually makes more money as a nanny than she would working and using her degree.  With a sick mother, Curren has to live in Los Angeles but it is impossible with the debt she has.  Playing bad cop, Deeks wants to know who gave her the money.  Good cop Callen knows that Curren doesn’t want to see the Sandhagens hurt and wants the kids to see their parents again. 

Curren explains she met a man in a restaurant.  He was so nice.  She now owes him so much money there is no way to pay her back.  The man wanted to rob a place the Sandhagens designed.  She never thought they’d be kidnapped, she never thought anyone would get hurt.  The man’s name is Josh McCall – Deeks is on the phone with Rountree trying to track McCall down.

Kensi and Fatima come up to the building  – a very locked-up building - housing Even Mavrik.  One of the vents has been removed.  Kensi and Fatima go in.

Josh McCall, according to Rountree, has been in and out of the system his entire life.  DUI, assault, grand theft auto to name a few of his crimes.  LAPD RHD believes he is working with Chito Aldana, who runs a high-end heist crew.  They robbed an art gallery in Beverly Hills recently.  Callen and Deeks are going to check out McCall’s home.

Kensi and Fatima are checking out the insides of Even Mavrik.  While they are looking around, Aldana is checking in with McCall.  He wants to know what is taking so long.  The diamond dealers locked themselves inside in their diamond vault.  Since the Sandhagens built them, they can probably get into the vaults.  Kensi and Fatima worry that once the Sandhagens get into the vault, they’ve outlived their usefulness.  Kensi tries to call the office but there is no service.  Without their cellphones or ability to use their guns (too much noise), Kensi and Fatima have to rescue the Sandhagens on their own.

Callen, Deeks and the tactical team go into McCall’s home.  It’s empty.  Deeks keeps talking and Callen misses Sam.  Deeks finds some lottery tickets and is bothered that Callen misses Sam.  He sends a photo of the tickets to Rountree.

The Admiral and Rountree are concerned that Kensi and Fatima are offline.  Rountree goes back to when they last had cell service and found that McCall and Aldana have a scrambler.  He has no idea where they are.

A guard is walking through Ever Mavrik when Fatima stun guns him.  As she and Kensi hide his body, a co-criminal calls for the guard.  Kensi puts him in choke hold.  She drags him to the room with the guard.  Taping both of the bad guys’ mouths closed, the women lock the men into a janitor’s closet. 

Outside the vault, Kensi tells Fatima she sees the Sandhagens working on the vault.  McCall starts yelling that Red and Bobby are gone.  Kensi and Fatima hide while McCall and Aldana talk.  Aldana thinks Red and Bobby ran but McCall has Red’s guard hat.  It fell off during the struggle with Fatima.  Aldana believes the facility has more real guards on duty.  Aldana wants the guards found now.  “You won’t leave this building alive.”

Rountree traced the lottery tickets to a gas station outside of Ever Mavrik.  Callen and Deeks are on their way.  Deeks asks if Kensi and Fatima are on their way.  Rountree mentions they are missing and Deeks is not pleased.  “Find them.”

As the Sandhagens manually drill through the vault, Aldana is getting impatient.  When Emmett tells Aldana it will take as long as it takes, that gets Emmett a gun pointed at his chin.  Fatima wants to go in but Kensi stops her – Aldana needs the Sandhagens.  McCall returns with an extra goon.  Extra goon is going to stay with the Sandhagens, Aldana and McCall are going to search the building.  Kensi is going to distract Aldana and McCall while Fatima works to rescue to the Sandhagens.

Kensi breaks some glass on the first floor so Aldana and McCall are on the move.

Deeks tells Rountree he and Callen are five minutes out.  When he asks about Kensi, Rountree doesn’t haven an answer. 

Aldana finds a door ajar.  Opening the door, he finds Red and Bobby.  Kensi finds a pipe and whacks Aldana in the head.  He joins Red and Bobby in the unexpected nap room.

While the Sandhagens are working, the goon hears some noise from a printer room.  He find a copy machine making hundreds of copies of a smiley face.  Fatima comes up from behind him and starts beating him with her baton.  Several kicks to the head later, the goon is out cold on the ground. 

On the first floor, McCall gets several shots off at Kensi.  The two have a good old fashion fight.  He tosses her around, she does the same.  She gets him into a sleeper hold and the Rock would be proud as how quickly he went down. 

Fatima gets the diamond brokers out of the vault.  The Sandhagens are assured their children are safe.  They are incredibly grateful. 

LAPD is taking the bad guys away.  The Sandhagens are facetiming with their kids, who are happy Agent Castor got them ice cream.  LAPD is bringing them home.

The team recap the case.  Fatima is thirsty.  Deeks knows about a Cuban place nearby.  Kensi is hungry and Callen is paying.

At a bar, Col. Ladd is drinking alone.  The Admiral joins him, wondering why Ladd “no-showed” a job interview.  Ladd is grateful for what the Admiral and “the guys” are trying to do for him but he’d rather “do a deep dive with a weight belt and no tank” than do phone sales in a cubicle.  The Admiral admits the job wasn’t the best match for Ladd.  Ladd explains that he was a door kicker as a junior officer – the first one in every time he was sent out on a mission.  When he moved to Intel, he led the toughest, best trained soldiers in the world.  On Sunday, he was going to the supermarket and an old lady ran to help him at the front door.  He felt that she saw him as “less than”.

The Admiral agrees that Ladd was never meant for the private sector.  Ladd was a soldier, always was, always will be.  Getting him a job with people who don’t understand that was a mistake.  And if Ladd puts his drink down, the Admiral will get him a job fit for a soldier.  Ladd doesn’t want charity.  This isn’t charity.  Kilbride won’t be holding the door open for Ladd.  The Admiral leaves.  Ladd stands up with the help of a cane. 

Callen and Anna are hanging out in their garden, sipping wine.  Anna got the job but didn’t take it.  She would be in the office all day and it wasn’t what she was trained for.  Instead, she looking at a company that specializes in finding kidnapped children.  She isn’t sure that what she wants either.  Anna turns the conversation to Callen.  She knows he thought he saw Pembrook earlier that day.  He says he did.  She understands that he needs to track Pembrook down.  “But,” Callen says.  So much had to go right for the two of them to wind up together, maybe they should just enjoy the good.

What head canon can be formed from here:    The Kensi-Fatima scene during the ride up to Port Hueneme was terrific.  The program did a great job over the year with the Kensi-Nell friendship and there, they were planting the seeds for a Kensi-Fatima friendship.

The Admiral’s whiskey and beer rant looked like it had Caleb Castille laughing just a bit.

Col. Ladd was a character this program needed years ago.  In seasons one and two, Daniel Hugh Kelly popped up as an unnamed military person who knew things.  The program needed that type of character.  Kilbride was that character for a while until Nell decided running off with Eric was more fun than running the team.

Finally, this episode had a Covid season feel.  Everyone was siloed with another team member and basically worked that that member only.  Yes, Callen had a chat with Fatima but that was in a perfectly empty office.  There was a short scene with most of the team (save Kensi) in Ops and the meet-up at the end.  Not a bad episode but I like the team when they work together.

Episode number:     Season 14, episode two.  This is 304 overall. 

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Dark Tower (2017)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

Stephen King began The Dark Tower series in 1982 and concluded in 2012. It incorporates elements of fantasy, horror, western and fantasy. Some consider it his magnum opus. Even if you haven't read a single page, you'll recognize this film adaptation has simplified it to death. It's Unimaginative but promising, complex to the point of being confusing but so simple you can foresee every development coming from universes away. In the end, you’ll wonder if maybe you weren’t paying attention or if you missed something but there’s just nothing here.

11-year-old Jake Chambers (Tom Taylor) dreams of a strange world, of a Man in Black, of a gunman who seeks revenge against him and of a tower under attack. The man, a sorcerer named Walter Padick (Matthew McConaughey) is real and seeks to use Jake’s psychic gift to destroy all realities. Only Roland Deschain (Idris Elba), the last Gunslinger, stands in his way.

A lonely boy is thrust into a big adventure and learns the world's fate rests in his hands while sinister forces seek him out. His youth and wide-eyed optimism are exactly what the now-jaded hero needs to put him back on the path of righteousness. When you take a step back, the plot is familiar, so how can so much of The Dark Tower be indecipherable?

Most of the time, when a film’s length is brought up in a review it’s because the movie is too long. This movie is too short. Way too short. We’re never allowed to dig into the world, characters or mythology. Walter seeks to use the powers of psychic children to launch beams of light that will topple the titular Dark Tower, destroy the barrier which surrounds all worlds and allow legions of demons in. Why? So he can rule. But why? We see what abilities he possesses. With them, he's able to do nearly anything his heart desires. He can mind-control people, make objects levitate, has access to stargates and can communicate telepathically. How would destroying everything improve his situation? You don’t understand his motivations and watching McConaughey, you wonder if he doesn’t realize how flat and uninteresting this character is. This might explain why he gives the peculiar performance that he does. I wouldn’t call it bad but you almost expect him to turn towards the screen and say “Ain’t I a stinker?” after every line.

Similarly, there’s little to Idris Elba’s Roland Deschain. At least you understand his motivation, which is a step up from Walter but he doesn’t spend enough time with Jake for you to feel a bond of friendship between them. When someone tells Roland he’s just “using the boy to get revenge” it should be a tower-toppling reveal but you won’t care. Little about this story will surprise or move you.

This movie feels as though it’s hitting you with big inflatable boxing gloves, the kind that have no impact on you but are so big they hinder its movement. The action scenes are either too dark, too frenetic, feature opponents who aren’t menacing, or are paced in a way that makes you go “Oh! Is it over? I didn’t realize it had started”. So much of this movie feels like it’s building up to something that never comes. Well, unless you’re waiting for references to Stephen King’s other works, which are plentiful and in-your-face. The first scene features a reference to The Shining and it isn’t the only one. It’s a way to keep you entertained, I guess.

Utterly forgettable, bland and generic, I can’t imagine any fans of the book series being satisfied with The Dark Tower. Newcomers are likely to be confused or unimpressed. Will they be turned away from the novels? Probably initially but in the long run, they’re unlikely to remember they even watched the film so King's books are safe. The ending hints at a sequel but that's not happening, not in a million years. (June 5, 2020)

[ahmedmootaz]

[SPOILERS FOR THR ENDING OF LIBRARY OF RUINA]

BadEnd!Angela asker anon here again! As soon as I saw your post answering my questions, I wanted to follow it up with another more in a different direction.

What if Ayin and X ended up showing up in Roland's Bad Ending instead then instead of either Angela's Bad Ending or the official Good Ending?

Angela's death in Roland'd Bad Ending meant that the whole Library collapsed which probably means the Librarians fell as well along with Angela. Not sure what happens to the Light but it probably gets rescattered back into the hearts of people like after the White Nights and Dark Days incident. Or maybe in the case of Ayin and X, this could mean that they're released from imprinsonment somehow.

So if that was the case, what would happen with BadEnd!Roland meeting Ayin and X?

Would Roland realize that Ayin was That Man that Angela spoke of or would he think it was X? Would he just think that they were some assistant librarians or maybe even some guests or scientists who was checking out the tree?

If he did know who they were, would he end up blaming Ayin and/or X for Angela's creation and trauma and thus blame them for Angelica's death and thus Roland's own trauma?

Would Roland brutally torture them since he isn't bestfriends with them like he is with Angela in canon or fellow dad friends with them like in AIP?

How do you think he'd hurt them? Hurting them with Angelica's weapons, tossing them to the Head or the Syndicates, or maybe tossing them to the Outskirts like Angelica was a kid? Or perhaps feed to the Abnormalities and Distortions that remain, or maybe even to other tailors like The Carnival or the Sweepers?

And would Ayin or X ever be able to outrun or hide from an angry Colour? (Lol probably not but Roland would taken pleasure in seeing them run and panic?

Either direction it goes, what do you think woulf be the most intersting that could happen in this scenario?

Dear Anonymous,

Well, well, well! It seems you've quite the ideas in mind, eh? And some very violent thoughts at that...it seems all Ayin and X fans enjoy subjecting them to horrors and torments beyond their imagination. Also, I believe that you've sent me a similar ask before, but one that was less detailed than this one. Would you like me to reply to it as well, or is this one sufficient?

Assuming that Ayin and X were released in physical bodies due to not being as dependent on the Light as the Librarians were, seeing how they were slumbering before being awoken when the Library gathered enough Light, then they'd be released in the same manner the guests were released at the end of LoR, methinks: They'd pop up somewhere in the City like Tommerry did in the Leviathan comics.

For the sake of this scenario, let's assume that they are particularly unlucky and then pop out next to Roland. I think the first thing on both of their minds would be the panic from realising that X was now subjected to the City's clone laws, and that they had just about a week to escape the City or for one of them to decide to quit the land of the living in order for the other to survive. The commotion they'd cause would likely catch Roland's eye, but I have to wonder just how focused he'd be at that instant.

After all, it's important to recall that, by that moment, Roland had fought against his better judgement in order to satisfy his instinctive desire to get revenge on the woman who (indirectly) killed his wife, a decision he wasn't so sure about. Now that it's done, he's likely reeling from the realisation that killing Angela made the entire Library evaporate into thin air with all of the Patron Librarians, Abnormalities, and perhaps even all of the Light within it. It'd be a shock to his already reeling mind, and the guilt and regrets would come in very, very quickly. It's entirely possible that he misses Ayin and X's presence entirely...

...But that's not the point of this scenario, eh? We're here to see Ayin and X suffer!

Assuming Roland sees them, he might take a while before recognising who they are. After all, to his knowledge, everyone in the Library was dead thanks to his direct actions. There would be no reason for him to assume that the two scientist-looking fellows were in the Library in the first place, and his distraught state would likely prevent him from immediately connecting the dots. In fact, what might make him suspect their true identity might me Ayin and X's own devastation; remember that with the Library's demise, the Light's future is quite uncertain. For all they know Roland could've ruined their last chance at release the Light. Perhaps then he'd suspect something is amiss, especially when he notices the glaring similarities between these two scientists.

Personally, I think that at this point he might care too little to do anything about them, but at the same time, he'd likely want to keep a closer eyes on them just in case. Maybe he invites them over to his lodging as claims he wants "help out some brothers in need". Ayin and X, having no place to take refuge in and wanting to hide (to some degree) from the Head's watchful eye, would likely accept, both of them also under shock and under the impression Roland doesn't know either of them very well, which isn't a wrong assumption.

Afterwards, when they're all back in Roland's lodging, he'd likely confront them about their true identities, and considering the fact that they have nothing to lose, I have a feeling Ayin and X wouldn't deny who they are. They already lost everything they have, why would they fear Death now?

Now, we have two options for this scenario:

The first one is that Roland cannot care of force himself to kill anymore. He's already suffocated his conscience and killed Angela just a while earlier, and regardless of how much he rationalises it, regardless of how much he says it would be morally acceptable, or that Ayin is the true culprit behind Angelica's death as he was the one who tormented Angela, he simply cannot continue spilling any more blood. In such a case, Ayin and X would live, but their sole method of protection (Roland), has just slumped into an eternal depression and he likely would kill them if he snapped out of it, and they're still being chased by the Head, and they still don't know the fate of the Light.

The second option is that Roland tries to soothe his wailing soul by killing Ayin and X, two people that deserve what happens to them...in his eyes, anyway. I doubt either of them would be shaken enough to run and panic, seeing how their worst fears had already became realities. X may falter a little and hide behind Ayin, but Ayin would never break eye contact with Roland, awaiting the blow. That would definitely suck out a lot of what killing the two of them would represent to Roland; he's trying to kill Angela's tormentors so that he can feel better about the fact he killed her as revenge for Angelica and their unborn baby, but if Angela's tormentors don't even recognise what he's doing as revenge for Angela, or a divine justice, or any sort of retribution, and would rather defiantly stare him down while dying than running and begging for mercy, what's the point to a man like Roland, who's on the path to self-destruction? Just like the drugs he'll use eventually, he needs a dopamine boost in the form of Ayin and X's reactions, and without them, it may not be worth it to kill them.

A secret, worse version of the second option is that he tries to induce that fear in them. Maybe he uses Olivier's TT2 device in order to force them to experience millions of years to fry their minds as they did with Angela, or maybe he'd try torturing them into submission, but the defiant attitude would only make him doubt himself more and more...

There's a lot of divergences in such a scenario, although delving too deep into all of them would make this ask even longer than it already is, so I ask you what you think the most interesting of these possibilities is!

Until next time, Anon, thank you for your very interesting ask! Be well, take care,and see ya'.

[m-o-o-n-thatspellsblog]

The Drawing of the Fool- Part 1/2

Summary: Years after renouncing the Dark Tower, the ka-tet of the 19, now living as a true family, comes across another door. Fearing a resurgence of Tower business, the group grows apprehensive. Roland Deschain, their Dinh--their father--grows excited. It seems renouncing the Tower in favor of love is not without reward, after all.

Word Count: 13,255

Relationships: Roland/Cuthbert, Eddie/Susannah, Jake/Benny

AO3 LINK

She found him sitting in the grass in front of a thin stream, staring straight ahead. Eddie lay asleep, not far behind, in the place in which they had set up camp.

"Trouble sleeping, Suze?" Roland asked with a weary smile on his face. Although he looked right at her, his eyes seemed to be in another world entirely. This far away look, along with some other concerning signs, was precisely why she followed him.

"Not me. I've been sleeping just fine ever since I picked up that new bedroll in Calla Amity". And what a fine bedroll it is, she thought. They’d done good work for the Callas and the folken had been grateful.  "Actually, I wanted to check on you, sugar,” she said, placing her hand lightly on Roland’s shoulder and settling in beside him. “It seems to me something's been troubling your mind."

It seemed Roland hadn't heard her approach until the moment just before she crawled up next to him. Susannah was glad. During the years since renouncing the Tower, Roland's walls have come down, one brick at a time. That is, when he's with his family. When called upon to be a gunslinger, those killer instincts returned with frightening speed. These last few years have been spent freestyle gunslinging, as Eddie calls it. There hadn't been anything major since their Tower days, but they still lent their talents to the occasional town when requested to do so. After all, that's what they had all been made for and it was hard to give up. But, between the five of them, three now that Jake and Oy are visiting Calla Bryn Sturgis, Roland has become much more relaxed and Susannah could think of no one who was more deserving of a little peace.

Roland nodded noncommittally, still looking straight past the landscape. "Mayhap you're right about that."

"Is it Jake? Are you worried he'll want to stay in the Calla?" Jake was due to arrive back any day now. He’d promised not to make them wait too long, although he’d now been gone for quite a while. He’d gone there with a purpose, to see a certain boy and tell him something he hadn’t gotten a chance to back when they had first stayed in (and saved, say thankya) the Calla, years ago. With him being gone this long, his confession must have been well received. There was no doubt that he would come back to them, but Susannah thought he’d be returning with news. This was something she and Eddie had discussed in depth. Both she and Eddie agreed that if the Slightman boy reciprocated Jake’s feelings, Jake would likely wish to return to the Calla, permanently this time.

"No, that doesn't worry me in the slightest. That is what I hope for him. He loves the Slightman boy, and I want him to settle down if that is what he desires. He has missed so much of his youth and for that, I am responsible." Roland looked down and sighed deeply. When he spoke again, it was with a wistful tone. "When I was young, I dreamed of eventually giving up the guns forever, trading them for a quiet, comfortable life with a loving partner. Before that could happen, the Tower invaded my mind and forever changed the course of my life. Jake has a chance at the life I gave up, and I wish it for him very much." 

"I bet all of this stuff with Jake has gotten you thinking of Susan, huh?" That explained the sad, distant Roland that had come with Jake's absence. Jake went to be with his love, so naturally Roland longed for his lost love.

A pause. And then softly, "No, not Susan. Perhaps it should be Susan that comes to mind, but it's not. When I think about who I'd do anything to have back, who I'd like to spend my life with, I think of someone else entirely."

"Oh?" Susannah responded. This admission had taken her by surprise. She cast her mind back trying to think of another woman of significance in Roland's life. Over these last few years, she and the others become quite familiar with his long history. "Aileen, then?"

"Not Aileen. Although my love for each of those women was true, it is another who has captivated my mind and has been causing me such frustration. And why should I be surprised when this person was a dab-hand with frustrating me?" A cheeky, almost sarcastic smile appeared on his face as he said this last. A smile that Susannah recognized as it seemed to appear whenever he talked about--

And then it dawned on her. Suddenly it made perfect sense as to why Jake's love of Benny had brought this on.

Susannah was careful not to let her realization show on her face. If she was right, she wanted Roland to discuss this at his own pace. Feelings had always been a tough subject for him to speak of and she had no desire to discourage him from doing so.

They spoke for a long time, into the early hours of the morning. Roland had opened up in a way that made Susannah proud of him. That didn’t make it easy to hear, however. It seemed every thing she learned about Roland made his backstory just a little more heartbreaking. So much was wasted on the way to the Tower. 

-----------------

“Susannah, do you see something?” Roland asked, pointing toward the horizon with one hand and placing the other on her shoulder. 

They had been drifting between the Callas, biding time. A few weeks had passed since his and Susannah’s conversation near the stream and Jake had recently returned to them. He came with the news that they all had simultaneously feared and hoped: He was going to be returning to the Calla to live with Benny, who was now officially his partner. But first, he had decided to spend time with his family, not ready to say goodbye just yet. He was content to travel and camp with them until they decided to move on, away from the Callas.

They were going nowhere in particular, simply enjoying their time together.

Susannah stepped up, looking toward the horizon in the direction Roland had pointed. “Hmm I might see something, but I’ll be damned if I can tell just what it is.” 

Five minutes later, Eddie spoke up. “Oh now I see something.” He’d been the last of them to notice it, Jake having spotted it just after Susannah. Susannah kept her eyes fixed upon the speck in the distance, waiting for it to take the shape her heart told her it would. 

Roland had already known what Susannah only suspected. It was a door. And in their road.

-----------------

By the time they decided to camp for the night, they had all seen the object on the horizon for what it was- a door. After they ate their dinner by the fire (gunslinger burritos à la Roland) they knew it was time to talk. Neither Eddie, Susannah, or Jake knew how to start. Acknowledging the door would inevitably lead to discussion of whether or not they should approach it. This was something they were apprehensive about. All of the previous doors they had come across were part of what Eddie had dubbed their ‘Tower phase’. Certainly all of that was behind them, wasn’t it?

“I’m sure you all recognize the object which lies ahead of us.” Roland spoke. It was not a question, but they all nodded in confirmation.

“I recognize it, but I don’t understand it,” Jake said. “It’s a door.”

“Door! Ake!” Oy chimed in. Jake reached over and scratched behind his little friend’s ears. Oy didn’t speak much these days; He was getting up in his years for a billy-bumbler. 

“Roland, why, after all these years, is there a door? Is it for us, do you think? Or maybe it’s just always been there. Not related to us at all,” Eddie seized this idea with hope. “Do you think that's possible?” 

“I cannot say,” Roland responded.

“Oh, it has something to do with us for sure. I don’t know how I know that, but I do. Don’t you guys?” Jake asked. They all nodded. He was right of course, they all felt it.

“We must now decide, as ka-tet, whether to approach the door or turn away from it. By my estimate, if we continue on as we have, we will reach it overmorrow” Roland stated, knowing that no matter what the others decided, he was going to get to that door. He’d been having vivid dreams over the last few nights. Dreams in which he’d been living as someone else. It seemed to him that he’d been sharing khef with someone across worlds, someone he thought he might recognize. These dreams, paired with the appearance of a door, implied something he couldn’t possibly ignore.

“What if we open it and get sucked back into the quest for the Tower? Do we really want to run that risk?” Eddie asked.

“We have free will, Eddie. We cannot be pulled into Tower business unwillingly. Any door that opens can also be shut. If it’s Tower business, we will leave it.” Eddie nodded but was privately doubtful. He wasn't sure he was confident in Roland’s ability to resist the Tower if something truly tempting presented itself. He had been the original Tower junkie, after all. 

There was some discussion after that, but not much. Tower business or not, they were all too curious about the door to ignore it.

-----------------

As the door drew nearer, Roland’s pace increased. As reluctant as the rest of them were, Roland appeared to be anxious to reach it. They had to fight to keep up with him, until suddenly, when the door was only about 100 feet away, Roland came to an abrupt stop.

“What’s wrong, Da’?” Jake asked, disconcerted by Roland’s strange behavior. Addressing him with any form of the word ‘father’ usually brought a faint smile to his face, but he appeared not to notice this time.

“Nothing. I’ve just come over a little dizzy. I’m getting too old to be moving so fast for so long. You three keep going.” Truthfully, he needed an extra moment to prepare himself for what they were about to find. If his suspicions were correct, everything was going to change. If he was wrong, it would be a disappointment for which he would need to be prepared. Even though he had tried not to let his hopes rise, keeping them locked away in the deep depths of his mind, he nevertheless knew that the disappointment would hit him hard. The others walked on and reached the door while Roland watched nervously.

"Uh-oh Roland” Eddie called with amusement. “Looks like this one's for me. It says ‘The Fool’."

Roland looked up sharply and fixed his eyes on Eddie's. Eddie didn't care much for the frenzied look in Roland's eyes, it reminded him too much of their Tower phase. "Read it again for your father's sake!" Roland shouted.

"It says ‘The Fool’, although I don't see--" Before he could finish, Roland darted for the door, moving with an eerie quickness that also didn't sit well with Eddie. He started to say so, but before he could, he was hit with a sudden intuition. The Western Sea was on the other side of that door. If Roland went through it, he'd be back at the beginning of his quest for the Tower. 

"No, Roland, Stop! Jake, Susannah don't let him get through!" Eddie screamed, but it was a wasted effort. Roland had been determined to get through that door, and when Roland of Gilead set his mind on something, nothing could stop him. Eddie grabbed him tightly and was rewarded with an elbow to the face. He felt Roland slip through his fingers. Roland yanked the door open and launched himself through. Eddie had time enough to catch a brief glimpse of what lay on the other side, confirming his intuition, and then the door slammed shut. Not good.

"No!" Eddie yelled, pulling desperately on the doorknob. It wouldn't open, the door had locked behind Roland. Another bad sign in Eddie's view. He started banging as hard as he could, actually attempting to break it down. "Guys, come on," he shouted at the others, "We need to go after him! We have to find a way! This door opens to the Western Sea! He's doomed to repeat it all!"

Jake moved to help Eddie, but Susannah stayed him with a firm hand on his shoulder. "Eddie stop."

Eddie appeared not to hear and went on ramming his shoulder into the door, all the while shouting Roland's name. Blood was running down his face, from where his nose had caught Roland's elbow. Susannah moved closer, and waved Jake over to help her.

“The door is locked!” Eddie yelled. “Roland always said not to let these damn magic doors close, because once closed they might not open again. And now it's locked and he’s gone! We can’t leave him there. There has to be something we can do. If we could just FIGURE! IT! OUT!,” the last three words were each punctuated with a hard slam of his fists on the door.

“Eddie please--” 

Eddie suddenly whipped his head around and looked into Susannah’s eyes. “You don’t get it! You don’t understand!” He was getting ready to yell some more, but Susannah cut him off.

“No,” She yelled, “I don’t understand! But neither do you, Eddie. Never think it! This business--ka’s business--has been and always will be over our heads!”

“Why are you being so calm about this? Why aren’t you helping me? Do you know something, Susannah, is that it?” She didn’t like the fierce accusation in his eyes, but it was deserved wasn’t it? After all, she did have an idea as to what, or rather who, the door led to, vague as it was. After the discussion she’d had with Roland near the stream a few weeks back, the appearance of another magic door was too coincidental to be, well, to be a coincidence. It had been years since they last came across a door, and they all thought they had seen their last. But even so, she could be wrong. She thought it best to withhold her hunch. 

Eddie continued: “If you know anything about what is going on you need to tell me! And Jake! Now!” He distractedly swiped some of the blood off of his face and then turned toward the door once again, raising his fists.

“The only thing I know is that your outburst isn’t helping anything!” Susannah leaned over and finally grasped Eddie’s hands as he was getting ready to bang on the door again. This was a rather difficult maneuver with the bulk of her wheelchair between them, a rather archaic creation that they had picked up from one town or another. Luckily, Eddie had been distracted enough for it to work. With a little help from Jake, she managed to pull Eddie into her lap. She wrapped her arms around him and held him securely. 

He half-heartedly wriggled around, trying to break free, but gave up quickly. He didn’t wish to hurt Susannah, and his anger was starting to fizzle out anyway. Now, he just wanted to understand the situation. “Suze,” He said apprehensively, “do you know something?”

“I know two things. The first is that the door is locked. All the banging and shouting in the world isn’t going to help anyone. The second is that the door is still here.”

“I don't understand what you're getting at,” Eddie said quietly, but Susannah knew that he did understand, he was just being stubborn. Perhaps he sensed that she was not telling all she knew. Regardless, Susannah’s embrace had calmed him, and she felt that the worst of his panic had passed. She loosened her grip on him and started rubbing his arms, from shoulder to elbow.

Eddie wiped his hand across his face again and finally seemed to notice the blood there. Jake handed Eddie a piece of cloth that Roland had saved from some old garment. Perpetually thrifty was he. Eddie pressed it to his nose.

“The door’s still here," Susannah said, "Meaning its magic has not been used up. And genuine, magic doors- not the cheap copies produced by North Central Positronics- open both ways. This one’s the real deal. Roland may still be able to come back through.”

“Is that our best bet, then? That he might be able to come back through?” Eddie responded, his voice muffled. When no one answered, he signed resignedly, “I guess it is, huh? What do you think, Jake, old pal? Anything to add to this discussion? You’ve been awfully quiet.”

Jake thought for a moment and then spoke: “On the way to the door, I tried to reach Roland, you know, with the touch. I wanted to know what he thought about the door.” Jake was embarrassed admitting that he intentionally read Roland’s mind. He didn’t normally like to use the touch that way. It felt wrong. “All I got from him was a sense of hope. I couldn’t see what he was hoping for because he was blocking it, maybe even from himself. Whatever is behind that door, all I know is that Roland thought it would be something good. And I trust him.”

They were all quiet for a moment, contemplating this information. Then, Eddie spoke up again: “That’s it, isn’t it? You know what he was hoping for.” Susannah was relieved not to hear any more anger in Eddie's voice, only dispirited acceptance. 

“I might have an idea,” Susannah replied, “But, I’d just as soon not say. For one thing, I could be wrong. And for another, if I am right, this is something that is very personal to Roland and he should get to choose when to share it. And he will, when he comes back.”

“How can you be sure he will?” Eddie said. “Come back, that is.”

“I guess I’m not.”

“So, what’s our plan? What do we do?”

“The only thing we can do. Wait.” Jake said solemnly. The possibility of Roland, his true father, being lost forever was unacceptable to him. He would come back. Of course he would. He wouldn’t leave them, Roland wouldn’t leave him.

Eddie looked at Susannah, who nodded in return. “Alright, yeah, I guess we wait,” Eddie said. “But for how long?”

“As long as we can. But you better get up off of me if we’re going to be waitin’ around a while. You’re starting to crush me, love.”

-----------------

Roland slowly came to a state of confused consciousness. He was at the Way Station and the boy was pouring water over his face. Waking him. He felt the water run down the sides of his cheeks and felt a deep, aching sense of regret. He'd have to go through it all over again. The Way Station, Walter O’Dim, the lobstrosities, even Blaine the Mono. Gods help him, he was back at the beginning of a book he believed he’d finished and cast away forever.

But when he opened his eyes, he saw he was wrong. This was not the Way Station after all. No, this was the Western Sea. And the person attempting (desperately, as it appears) to wake him with water, was much bigger than Jake had been.

The confusion started to dissipate as his memory of springing through the door came back to him. Before he had time to fully process this, a face swam into view and blotted out all coherent thought.

"Roland?" Cautious. Confused. Hopeful.

"Cuthbert!" Even with the battered eye patch and the road map of years upon his face, it would've been impossible for Roland to mistake him. This was who he’d hoped to see, why he moved so quickly when Eddie read aloud the words writ upon the door. And could he have been privately hoping, in the underlayers of his mind, to come across a door that would lead him to Cuthbert even before that? Aye, it may be so.

They leapt towards each other and embraced tightly. Each man grasping desperately at the other as though he might disappear at any second. Before long, there were tears running down both of their faces. They sat like that, almost fused together, for several moments. They didn't speak during this time; they only held each other. Once it seemed he decided that Roland wasn't going to dematerialize any time soon, Cuthbert spoke.

"Gods, how cheered I am at the sight of you! Yet more than a little baffled. In truth, I fear I may have gone delirious. How could this be? You-- Roland, you died."

"I know not of this, but I believe I can explain much. We shall palaver and I would hear of your journey. Perhaps we can trade stories."

"You wouldn't believe it. I've come very far. I'm close to reaching it. Much closer than I ever would have expected, even in my most far-fetched dreams. I saw it. I saw the Tower! In a vision. I didn't understand it all, but with you here..." He paused in thought. "Yes, with you here, We can reach it. I know we can." Roland recognized the frantic compulsion in his old friend's voice, he knew it all too well. 

"We could, but we mustn't."

"What? But Roland, something is wrong there. And getting worse. You know it better than I do. We must persist. Not for our own sake-- our world has moved on-- but for worlds that have not yet been lost." His uncovered eye took on a conspiring look and he dropped his voice to a whisper, despite the endless emptiness of the beach. "I've come to suspect that all of existence may balance in its axles."

"Yes, we've much to discuss. Delah. But first, how long have you been here? For, there are creatures on this beach--"

"Oh I've been here long enough to grow quite friendly with those fuckers. Friendly enough that I let one borrow 2 of my fingers," he said sardonically, raising his right hand. "Although, I'm starting to think it won't return them."

Roland looked at Cuthbert's raised hand and something clicked in his mind. It could be that it won't be necessary for Cuthbert to share all of his story. "Bert, did you come here from yon cavern?" Roland asked, pointing toward a foggy mountain on the horizon.

Cuthbert looked a little surprised but nodded his head. 

"Were you traveling alone when you reached the cavern?"

Cuthbert cast his gaze downward and was uncharacteristically quiet for a moment. "No, not alone," he said with a shaky voice, and would say no more. This, said with a tone of deep sorrow and shame, was all Roland needed to confirm his suspicions. Enough to take a chance with his next words, anyway.

"The boy, Jake- He said something to you just before you let him fall. Something important."

"The boy... How could you-- Roland, how could you possibly know about that?" Even after all these years apart, the look of such utter despair still looked out of place on his friend's face.

"Because what he said was true. There are other worlds than these. I've just come from one, through that door. I've seen a few and if I were to leave you, I suspect you would see just as much. But it would come to you at a great cost."

-----------------

Roland started walking and gestured for Cuthbert to follow. They walked in the opposite direction of the shore, away from where the lobstrosities would cluck their perpetual questions once darkness fell. After a moment, Roland spoke. 

"I know your story because I have lived it. I am from a world in which you died at Jericho Hill and I went on in search of the Tower. We must compare stories, although I suspect we'll find our experiences to be much the same.”

-----------------

They start with the Battle of Jericho Hill, each recounting their version of events. They find the circumstances leading up to each of their deaths to be the same- Alain Johns dying by their own guns the night before, Jamie De Curry being shot down by a sniper, the overwhelming ambush. Roland tells of Cuthbert’s death. He speaks of calling for the gunslingers and Cuthbert responding that they two were the last. Despite knowing this, neither chose to cry off. Bravely, they went head-on into the battle, fighting as though they had a chance. Cuthbert had been shot through the eye with an arrow, but fought on with his wounds for as long as he could. Roland made sure to include that when Cuthbert finally went down, he went laughing until the very end. 

Roland had made it out by pretending to be dead, knowing that, above all else, he must find the Dark Tower.

Although Cuthbert remembers being shot through the eye- and presently bears the loss of said eye- he survived in his version. After being shot, he heard Roland start to yell, undoubtedly about to call for the gunslingers, but his call was cut short. Roland had been shot. Cuthbert watched in horror as Roland, appearing to be missing the top half of his head, turned in the direction the shot came from, and struggled to stay upright and moving. He went on for two more steps before being shot thrice more, knocking him to the ground and splattering the grass with blood and a gray substance that had to be the that which makes up the brain. Still, he lifted his gun, earning another shot, this time marking the permanent end of Cuthbert’s best friend’s life. 

Cuthbert made sure to include that when Roland went down, he went fighting until the very end, had in fact died with his finger pulling the trigger, firing off a final fatal shot at the enemy.

With Roland’s death, Cuthbert had been suddenly struck with the inarguable knowledge that he must make it out of this battle alive, for the fate of the world may depend on it. With Roland gone, he must take over the quest for the Dark Tower. He escapes by pretending to be dead, as Roland had done.

-----------------

"Many things occurred after that. However, the real journey started in the desert. With the pursuit of the man in black." Cuthbert nodded and Roland went on. "Did you visit a town called Tull?"

"Ah yes. Visit, slaughter, what's the difference? I'm familiar."

“The man in black left a trap there,” Roland said.

“He certainly did. Brought the weed-eater back to life and set a trap. A man of many talents, though I must say, I am not fond of his work.”

“He impregnated the religious leader,” Roland stated bluntly. “I assume we both took action.”

Took action, Cuthbert thought, that’s one way to put it. Abortion is another. “Yes. I had to. I’m not proud of it,” Cuthbert said defensively. How often had his morals been corrupted in search of Tower? Enough to damn his soul, he surmised.

Roland, as always, had no use for shame over actions which cannot be reversed. Especially when the action in question truly was necessary. A forward thinker was he. “I understand. For she was the trap. She turned the town against you, did she not?”

“Yes, you say true.” Still, the shame did not leave him. 

There was a moment of silence as they each reflected on their experience. Then, a question occurred to Roland. "There, did you also meet a woman named Allie?" Roland asked with genuine curiosity, wondering just how similar their stories may be. Certainly not every detail could be the same, right? They were, ultimately, two very different people.

"Allie…” Cuthbert repeated, trying to place her. It didn’t take long, for he had always been good with names. “She with the scar. She was the proprietor of the saloon, was she not?"

"Yes," And then hesitantly, almost embarrassed, "You didn't, uh, you didn't... spend a night or two with her, did you?"

"Oh, uh, no, not me. I presume you did?" And why should he feel resentful that Roland had evidently slept with this woman? Roland had been solitary for years; it was natural for him to seek partnership, however brief it may be. Gods knew Cuthbert had done the same from time to time. And, of course, he had no right to feel anything about Roland’s romantic pursuits.

Roland nodded. "In any case, I'm certain this part of our intertwined history ends the same. The entire town...?"

"Dead. All dead," Cuthbert agreed.

-----------------

"After Tull, did you make acquaintance with a dweller who had a bird?"

"Brown, you mean. And his raven, Zoltan. 'Beans beans the musical fruit, the more you eat, the more you toot'," Cuthbert sing-songed in a raspy voice that was actually a decent impression of the bird in question. "Yes, I met them. Charming bird." 

Cuthbert didn't need to ask Roland if he'd had the same experience with Brown as he had. He knew the answer. They had both met Brown and told him of Tull. After that, Cuthbert knew, his story temporarily branched off from Roland's. It seems Roland had Allie and Cuthbert had Brown. Although Roland had been curious enough to ask about Allie, Cuthbert knew better. For all he knew, the shock of Cuthbert having... relations with another man could send Roland straight into a coma. He had always carefully hidden this part of himself and saw no reason to stop now. This aspect of his identity was between him and the occasional man with whom he'd pass the night. Only one other person had ever known and it was not Roland. 

What mattered was that the major details were the same. They stopped, they talked, they ate. Each had passingly wondered if Brown would kill them. And then, as was their way, they moved on.

-----------------

At some point during their exchange of stories, Roland suddenly interrupted Cuthbert as something critical occurred to him.

“Wait!” Roland said, digging through the purse that he had on him when he went through the door. The rest of his gunna was on the other side so he could only hope that he had what he was looking for. It probably wouldn’t make much of a difference if he had to wait but Roland would rather not risk it. The medicines of his family’s world were still a mystery to him. His hand hit the object he sought after, and he pulled it out feeling immensely relieved. Plenty left. “Let me see your hand.”

Cuthbert held out his hand and Roland turned it over, getting a good look at the veins in Cuthbert’s wrist. Infected, just as he had been. “Here,” Roland said, holding out the package he had taken from his purse. 

Cuthbert took it, flipped it over, and then looked back at Roland uncomprehendingly. “Ah, many thanks, Roland. Now, do you care to tell me exactly what this is?”

“Cheflet. It’s medicine. Good medicine. You’re infected from the lobstrosity’s bite, as I’m sure you’re already aware,” Roland said, knowing that the infection was going to get a lot worse without treatment. He hoped to save Cuthbert from the near-madness that he experienced. “It comes from New York,” Roland added with a hint of pride. Cuthbert had no idea what New York was, but Roland sure seemed to believe strongly in their alchemy.

“Alright,” Cuthbert said, “but if this kills me I’d like the recording angels to note that you gave me the medicine and are thereby responsible for my death.”

“I would not risk your life,” Roland said seriously. “I’ve just gotten you back. I lament the years we’ve spent asunder. I’d not lose you again so soon. Never, if I can help it.”

Cuthbert was dumbstruck. Had Roland ever said anything like that to him before? Perhaps he had, but Cuthbert could not recall. They had a lot on their plates when they last knew each other. The circumstances at the time did not allow for many heartfelt moments. And Roland had never exactly been open-hearted. He felt his heart rise with Roland’s words and internally rolled his eyes at himself. Now was not the time for a recurrence of such foolish, juvenile feelings. He took the peculiar medicine as Roland had directed.

-----------------

Cuthbert continued to describe his journey. When he got around to his palaver with the man in black, Roland listened closely. It seemed their experiences with the man had been quite different.  

-----------------

The first card was turned.

“The Fool,” the man in black tittered. “It signifies adventure, optimism, and beginnings. You, gunslinger, are The Fool, a rather fitting title for you I must say, and you will soon be given the chance to start anew. You must decide for yourself whether you are worthy. You have already dropped one co-traveler into the pit, have you not?”

He turned the second card. “The Hanged Man. In conjunction with The Fool, this signifies a fork in the road, a divergence of paths. You’ll be faced with the decision to continue on as you have been, or go down a different path. The Hanged Man shows a change of perspective after facing hardship and acquiring new knowledge. He has been set free. Your paths may converge.” 

These two cards were followed by The Sailor, The Prisoner, The Lady of the Shadows, The Tower, and finally, Life. When Cuthbert asked for the meanings of these cards, the man in black gave no answer. 

After sending Cuthbert a vision of the universe, there was time for a short palaver. The man in black told him that he must go to the sea, which lay no more than twenty miles to the west, and there he would be granted renewal.

-----------------

When Cuthbert finished recounting this part of his tale, Roland took a moment to mull over the differences. 

Their stories thus far have been much the same. They followed the same exact sequence of events. Of course, because they were two different people, some small differences were to be expected. However, from the end of Jericho until now, there were no major differences. And the palaver with Walter O’ Dim was a key part of their story. If Cuthbert was to go on as Roland had, why would their talk be so different? There was no talk of renewal with Roland. And had Walter not mentioned the power of drawing to Cuthbert at all?

As intriguing as it was, Roland dropped this train of thought for now. He wanted to finish this talk and get back to the other side of the door (with Cuthbert in tow) as quickly as possible. 

Cuthbert carried on, taking it all the way through to coming across a door marked ‘The Hanged Man’. Roland’s side was of course marked ‘The Fool’ and Cuthbert was amused to learn that Roland had immediately known who that had meant.

He inquired about what came next in Roland's story, for it was clear it went beyond his current situation on this seemingly endless beach.

"In order to hear of what comes next, Bert, you must come through the door with me. For I cannot tell this on my own."

"But the Tower... Roland I can't just leave now, not without knowing why." He had been through too much, had given up too much of himself, to turn away now. How could Roland not understand this when he had been through it himself?

"Trust in me, Bert. I have been where you are; I have felt what you feel. We will go through this door and you will hear every word of my journey. Should you decide to go on in search of the Tower thereafter, I would not stop you. You'll find that this door will bring you much closer to reaching your goal." 

"Will I be able to come back through?"

"That I cannot say. Not for certain." 

Cannot say is not quite the same as do not know, Cuthbert thought. "My progress will not be lost?"

"Beyond this door lie the Borderlands which mark the beginning of End-World, the land in which the Dark Tower resides. By going through this door, you would skip over a great distance, bringing you to the final stretch of what would be your Tower journey. Should you choose to continue, of course." Roland was being as truthful as he felt could be. He knew that after hearing their full story, Cuthbert would come to understand, but first, Roland had to get him through the damn door.

A moment passed, and then hesitantly Cuthbert responded, "Okay." 

"Okay?" Roland asked, wanting Cuthbert to be sure, but needing him to come through either way.

"Okay", he repeated, firmly this time. "Let's go before I realize how absolutely mad this is and change my mind."

"Ah, but are you not accustomed to madness?" Roland said, with a slight glint in his eye.

Cuthbert smirked, "I suppose I am, at that." He turned to look Roland fully in the face, steeling himself. "Go ahead then, brief me. What must I know before passing through?" He asked, flapping his hand vaguely toward the door.

"Three people and one billy bumbler wait for my return on the other side, for they would not have given up on me yet." Roland said this with a smile, knowing it would take a lot longer than a few hours for them to give up on him. "They are my family."

Family? Cuthbert thought. His brow furrowed but he said nothing in response.

Roland nodded as if Cuthbert had voiced his confusion out loud. "Aye, so they are. You will meet them."

They moved toward the door and Roland grasped Cuthbert's wrist, earning another questioning glance from his friend. "These doors can be unpredictable. It's best to maintain contact to ensure we arrive at the same destination."

Cuthbert, never one to let a prime opportunity get past him, turned his wrist so that he could properly grab Roland’s hand. “If there’s a chance one of us could get lost,” he said, I’d not risk it”. Each relishing the other's contact more than they would care to admit, they stepped through.

From the other side, the ka-tet--the family--watched as Roland stumbled back through, clinging to a weather-beaten man with an ancient eyepatch. This man appeared to be laughing wildly, and despite never having seen this man, each thought he seemed familiar.  

-----------------

After a brief, but powerful, dizzy spell, Cuthbert could indeed make out a small group of people. His laugh tapered off. They seemed to be standing ready, guns drawn and prepared to fight if necessary. Roland saw this and raised his hands, a gesture of safety, and they put their weapons away. Cuthbert scanned the group, his glance momentarily coming to rest on the billy-bumbler, but just behind the animal-- 

"Jake!" Cuthbert exclaimed, staggering over to the boy, still a little dizzy. He ran over to Jake, who was more than a little confused but did not appear to be alarmed. Good for Cuthbert, because if Jake thought he detected any danger from the man ambling toward him, his trip to another world may have ended right there. Cuthbert briefly hugged the boy, and then pulled away to get a good look at him. "Look at you! Gods, you're nearly a man! Last I saw you, you were about 9 years old. Not to mention falling to your death." 

Jake winced and shot a confused look towards Roland. Roland did not acknowledge the look and instead responded to the man with whom he had returned. Jake thought he had a pretty good idea as to whom this may be, despite not understanding the situation unfolding before him.

"He wasn't 9, although I thought the same back then. He was actually 11 at the time, and currently 17." There was a faint, but unmistakable tone of pride in his voice.

"Wow," Cuthbert said, still openly staring at the boy in disbelief. "Jake, you don't know me, but I am so glad to see you."

-----------------

"Come, sit," Roland said, gesturing for his family to gather around him and the familiar newcomer. Roland's face, normally an emotionless mask, sparked with frantic excitement. And for good reason. If this was the person they all suspected it may be, Roland's exhilaration was well justified. "We must speak an-tet, as we've done before, for the wheel of ka always comes back around, as you all know." None missed how the man next to Roland gave an eye roll at this.

They gathered close and sat in a circle, so all may speak face to face. 

"Alright, alright. Come on now, the suspense is killing me. Who's this guy? How does he know Jake? And what the Hell happened on the other side of that door?" Eddie said, with exaggerated impatience. This brought a smile to Roland's face, because for once, the man Eddie's dramatics always brought to his mind was sitting right next to him. Somehow alive and back in his life.

Cuthbert looked to Roland for direction, who gave him an open wave, palm to the sky, telling Cuthbert to go ahead. Only, go ahead with what? He mentally ran through the young man's questions again and realized he would of course need to start by introducing himself. He took a second to collect his thoughts and then addressed the group of strangers.

"Hile gunslingers. I come to you as Cuthbert Allgood of Gilead. Son of Robert. Ancient friend of Roland Deschain from days agone. As for your other questions, I will address them in time, but may I know all of you first?"

-----------------

They went around their circle, making their introductions, beginning with Jake with whom Cuthbert was already familiar. “Jake Deschain of New York, son of Roland,” he said. Cuthbert looked momentarily surprised at this, though he stayed silent. “Former son of Elmer Chambers. Unfortunately.” He lightly tapped the billy-bumbler who was now sitting right against his leg. “Introduce yourself, Oy.”

“Oy! Eld!” the bumbler said.

Cuthbert watched astonished as the animal stood up and gave a bow. He turned to face Roland with a look of disbelief. “A billy-bumbler that still speaks?”

“Not just speaks, but communicates,” Roland responded with obvious pride. “Continue your introductions,” he said, turning back to the group. Eddie was surprised he hadn’t yet broken out the old twirling gesture.

“Susannah Dean of New York. Wife of Eddie Dean. Daughter of Dan, and now, Roland. I love my birth father with all of my heart, but he has gone to the clearing, as they say. I am proud to embrace Roland as my adoptive father.” Roland could not help the smile which lit his face as she said this. It never failed to touch his heart when they regarded him in such a way.

“I’m Eddie Dean of New York. Doting husband of this beauteous lady right here,” he said with a big smile, wrapping his arm around Susannah. “And, well, I guess Roland is the only father I've really ever known. I wouldn’t know my birth father if I passed him on the street. Although, I guess that isn’t very likely. I mean, can you imagine--”

“Ki-yet!” Oy barked cheerily. They couldn’t help laughing at this. It seemed the arrival of a new person had enlivened him.

Once the laughs started to die down, Eddie said: “Damn. Well, I guess it’s a pretty obvious sign that you’re running your mouth when even the goddamn dog tells you to shut up.”

“Aye, it would seem so,” Cuthbert spoke with a bemused smile and the hint of a laugh still in his voice. “In any case, we are all well-met. Very well-met”

-----------------

“I suspect I will not have to tell you much of my history, for I believe you are all familiar with most of it,” Cuthbert said, raising an eyebrow at Roland who nodded in response. “I’ll share what I must, and you all may ask questions as you see fit.

In my world, Roland died at Jericho Hill and I went on in search of the Tower. I’d not go into details for what came between, for it’s not important and you would likely know a goodish portion of it. I’ll start with the true beginning of my quest for the Tower. Following the man in black across the desert.”

He then recounted for them his tale of tracking and catching up to the man in black. It didn’t take long for each to understand that he essentially lived the same life as Roland. Down to letting Jake drop. No matter how many times the tale of this betrayal had been told, it never got any easier for Jake to hear. His heart went out to this other version of himself that had been betrayed by Cuthbert, and who, evidently, would not be getting any redemption considering they poached Cuthbert.

Each recognized The Way Station, the Speaking Demon, the betrayal, The man in black, the vision, and even the lobstrosities (although Cuthbert had inexplicably referred to them as ‘patrolmen’). They actually knew a little more about some of these events than Cuthbert did, as they had been given some context over the years. For instance, the fact that The man in black had doubled back and was behind him and Jake for a portion of their travels. Assuming that Cuthbert’s journey would have taken the same course as Roland’s, which, on further rumination, it may not have.  After all, the door Cuthbert had found on the beach did not say ‘The Prisoner’, but ‘The Hanged Man’. As Roland had been wont to say ever since Eddie taught him the expression: “to assume makes an ass out of you and me”.

-----------------

“After losing two of my fingers and part of my big toe--my favorite toe, mind you--to the fucking lobster-osities, as Roland calls them, I started to get feverish. I still kind of am, although Roland here gave me some kind of medicine. He was pretty cryptic about it, but it seems to be fast-working so I can only hope it won’t kill me.”

“Nah, he gave you the good stuff. T’wont kill you,” Eddie said. He spoke with faint admiration. This has been a truly surreal experience for him, meeting the man he had been continuously compared to. A man whom he had come to idolize. Kind of, he supposed, like meeting your favorite celebrity and finding out that they really are just like you. Don’t meet your heroes, they say, but Eddie was enraptured to meet his. “I saved Roland’s life with that stuff once upon a bye.”

“Do you say so?” He hadn’t thought the infection would get that bad, but if it had for Roland, it probably would have for him as well. “Well, anyway, I’ve been quickly losing strength since the infection started, and while stumbling across the beach, I came upon a door. It was marked ‘The Hanged Man’. I’ve heard of such magic doors in our teachings as children, but I had never believed in them.

I was still circling the door, trying to decide if it was real or a hallucination brought on by the infection, when this one,” he said, jerking his thumb at Roland, “came bursting through like a bullet out of a gun.”

-----------------

“Did you know what to expect on the other side?” Eddie asked, directing his question at Roland. “You did, didn’t you? I mean, why else would you hightail it like that?”

“Not at all. I had dreams, vivid ones, but I thought I was simply reliving my time on the Western Sea. Only, in these dreams I was not myself. I thought I might recognize this other person that I was living as, but I could not understand what my own memories had to do with it. But of course, now I understand why I was living in the past. It was not the past at all, not for the person with whom I had been sharing khef.” He paused for a moment to collect his thoughts. “As I said, I thought I recognized him, but I didn’t quite allow myself to believe that it meant anything. They were only dreams. When we saw the door, I still told myself it was merely a coincidence. When Eddie read the words on the door, however… I knew it had to be him. In my heart, I knew it. For hadn’t I always called him my very own ka-mai?

All the same, I cry your pardon for dashing off so suddenly. Especially you, Eddie, for I see the dried blood around your nose and it shames me. It was not my intention to hurt you.”

“No sweat man, I didn’t even notice. I was mostly just worried about you,” Eddie said, smiling sheepishly. “I kinda had an idea you weren’t coming back.”

“Yeah, we were real worried about you. Eddie told us that the door opened to the Western Sea,” Jake added.

“Say true, Eddie? You knew where the door led?” Roland asked, astonished. 

“Not until you started running for it. Once you took off, it hit me. I have no idea where the intuition came from, but it sure was strong. I thought it meant that you would be back at the beginning of your quest,” Eddie said, sounding embarrassed. He went on jokingly, as was always his way when he felt uncomfortable. “You should’ve seen the way I was banging on the door, trying to get to you. If I had an ax, I would have tried to cut through it like the crazy guy in ‘The Shining’.” Eddie jumped up on knees and smiled crazily. “Heeeeeere’s Eddie!” he shouted at Jake, not seeming to mind the fact that out of everyone here, only he himself could understand this reference. 

Jake laughed and pushed his brother’s face away from him. “Shut up, asshole.”

Susannah rolled her eyes fondly. She reached for her beloved’s hand and pulled him back down to the ground. Once he was seated again, she placed her hand on Eddie’s thigh. He immediately covered it with his own, taking comfort in the contact. It seemed he was more than a little embarrassed about his outburst over the door, and was covering it with humor. And he shouldn’t be, Susannah thought, for he reacted out of love for their father. 

Roland, having long been accustomed to Eddie's nervous bursts of foolishness, went on. “I must have hit my head on the door in my rush to get through, for when I arrived on the other side, I was unconscious. Cuthbert woke me with water and then we spoke. We quickly realized our shared history, and then he agreed to come back through the door with me.” Neither spoke of their long, sentimental embrace, for that was between the two of them. Too meaningful to be casually shared in such a setting. 

“Yes, I agreed, on the condition that you all explain to me why you have renounced the Tower. I cannot give it up without an explanation. If I find that explanation to be insufficient, Roland has promised me that I can pick up my quest from here.”

They all looked at each other in silent conference. And then, Susannah spoke: “I don’t believe we’ll need to worry about that. I’m sure it’s hard for you to imagine, but all I can say to sum it up for you is that there would be no satisfaction in reaching the Tower. There is, however, satisfaction in finding a family.”

“We will now tell our story,” Roland said, looking at his children. “I will start, telling my brief story of coming across the door, and then Eddie, you may pick it up. From there, we will take turns telling the story, much as we have done before. I warn you Bert, this is a long story. It's not unlikely that we will need to break for the night and pick it back up in the morning.” This was possible, however, Roland thought it wouldn’t be necessary. Although their tale was long, stories had a way of expanding the bounds of time. 

-----------------

“Feverish and weak, I came upon a door on the beach, just as you had. This door, however, said ‘The Prisoner’ and although I had never seen a door such as this before, I knew I had to open it. I didn’t know if there would be anything that could help me on the other side, but I knew that there was certainly nothing to help me where I was. After examining the door for a while, I opened it. What I saw terrified me, and I immediately slammed it shut.” Roland paused to take a sip of water from his canteen.

“I sat, thinking about what I’d seen. It was the Earth, from what seemed to be an impossible distance in the sky. It terrified me so, because to step through such a door would be to fall to my death. Then, the voice of Cort spoke up in my mind, telling me that I had seen more. I recalled something he used to say about using the eye of your memory to see, because ‘the difference between seeing and not seeing can be the difference between living and dying’.”

"Aye, I recall how he always used to harry us about that,” Cuthbert said. “Took you long enough to make full use of your eyes. Always wanting to rush into things without a complete look, that was you. The both of us, really. Two foolhardy kids.” He smirked, “You eventually grew out of it, though."

Roland was nonplussed for a moment. He was struck with a fresh wave of fondness for the man before him. How many years had it been since someone shared an experience from his youth? Hundreds? Thousands? Long enough for him to forget what it felt like. Long enough by many-a wheel.

“Nevertheless,” Roland said, “the eye of my memory did not fail me this time. I realized that the view I had seen was framed with white edges. It was only a window. I opened the door again.” Eddie picked up the story from here, telling of his drawing, followed by Susannah with the tale of her own. 

-----------------

Cuthbert listened raptly as they recounted the many adventures that preceded renouncing the Tower, each seamlessly picking up where the previous person had left off. Cuthbert followed each turn of the story, growing more incredulous as the tale went on. 

The tale of Blaine the Mono and Eddie’s heroism particularly stood out to Cuthbert, as Roland had suspected it would. “Good on you, Eddie!” He cheered, reaching over to clap Eddie on the shoulder. “Take that Roland! With your haughty attitude toward all forms of humor!”

Roland had accepted this ridiculing without comment. Cuthbert had meant it lightheartedly, but Roland knew it was well-deserved. He had been arrogant in the matter of Eddie’s jokes and it could have cost them dearly. He tried not to take it too hard though, for it had been Eddie himself who had pointed out that Roland couldn’t help his own nature, was in fact a prisoner of it as much as he was a prisoner of ka.

-----------------

So much, Cuthbert thought. They have seen so much. And done more. This had been after Susannah spoke of the Green palace, their confrontation with Flagg, the reappearance of the pink glass, and finally waking up back in Roland’s world--their world--on the path of the beam.

“This next part is the sort of story with which you are familiar. A town in need, calling upon a group of gunslingers,” Roland said. It was the first time he had spoken since he told of going after Jake in the underground tunnels of Lud. He was content to let his brood take over the story-telling whenever possible. Speaking had never been his favorite thing. “As we continued our course along the beam, we soon became aware that we were being followed. Jake picked some muffin-balls and noticed that he was being watched.”

“Sure,” Jake said. “But you already knew about them. You knew about them as soon as they started following us.”

“Aye. ‘Twas a small group and posed no danger to us, so we decided to ignore them and let them follow. Before we speak of them, Eddie and Jake must tell you of their first time going todash.”

Jake took over this part of the tale and then Roland briefly told of following Susannah into the woods, to what she, or rather Mia, had seen as a banqueting hall. The implications of this, paired with Susannah’s experience with the incubus, were not lost on Cuthbert. Although Roland hadn’t gone into great detail, Susannah was embarrassed. She knew what she had been doing out there, even if she hadn’t known at the time. Once that had all been told, Roland circled back to the group that had been following them.

“One member of this group was a man who became an integral part of our ka-tet. When we come to his part in our story, Eddie will tell it, for this man has since come to the clearing at the end of the path. For now, know that his name was Donald Callahan, a man of honor and a priest of the Man Jesus. Known in the Calla as Pere Callahan or The Old Fella."

-----------------

It was an easy enough story to follow. The town, finally fed up with losing their babbies, decided to make a stand. They couldn’t do this on their own, so they had enlisted the help of gunslingers. The Pere, knowing that he was in possession of something they would need, was the one to initially make contact with them and explain the situation. The gunslingers, bound by duty, agreed to lend their aid. Cuthbert had been horrified to learn that the Black Thirteen had a part to play in their tale. But, oh, there was so much about their tale that horrified him.

-----------------

Eddie had just finished recounting Father Callahan's story, starting with Salem's Lot and ending with Lupe's death, when Cuthbert spoke up. Not for the first time either; filled with questions was this one. 

"So when you say he was in love with this... other man, what exactly do you mean?" Cuthbert was bewildered, he couldn't possibly mean what Cuthbert was thinking. 

"Well, you know, like, romantic love. Like how I'm in love with this beautiful lady," Eddie replied, putting his arm around Susannah and earning a smile from his beloved.

"You should have heard the way he spoke of Lupe. It was beautiful, but difficult to hear considering how things ended. That man was truly in love," Susannah added.

"And is that considered normal in your world? A man loving another man?" Cuthbert asked, genuinely curious. He fought to keep his voice normal, but he couldn't believe what he was hearing. And how casually they spoke of something he could have easily been killed for! 

Eddie saw Jake wince at Cuthbert's question, and although he didn't detect any disgust from the man, he still felt a little uneasy. After all, he had no real idea what the people of Gilead thought of gay people. Roland had never seemed surprised or bothered by the existence of gay people, but perhaps he was an exception. Was Cuthbert going to have a problem with this? 

Eddie looked at Roland and raised his eyebrows, wondering if he should waste time delving into what could possibly become an issue.

Roland waved his hand unhurriedly. "We come from a much different world, Eddie. If he wishes for more details, you may provide them."

"Alright then. It's normal, yeah. Nothing wrong with being gay. But not everyone jives with that. Some people hate gay people, and they point to things like the Bible to excuse their hatred, but I think they really just don't like people being different from them. The virus that Lupe died of, the one he got from the vampire- It disproportionately affects men who, uh, have sex with other men. You know, like, gay and bisexual men," he paused for a moment wondering if he would need to explain these terms. When Cuthbert said nothing, he continued. "Homophobia has always been around, but this made the homophobes worse because they had a new reason to stigmatize gay people" Eddie had no idea how much of this Cuthbert was even capable of understanding. He didn't even know if Roland understood it all. But he didn't exactly know how to explain it in Mid-World terms.

Although he was unfamiliar with some of the language Eddie used, Cuthbert was able to figure most of it out through context. There was one term that he could not decipher, though. "Homo Phobia?" he asked, carefully pronouncing this foreign word.

"Homophobia's when someone is prejudice against gay people, sugar," Susannah said softly, momentarily placing her hand on Cuthbert's arm.

"And for the sake of clarity, I would understand this very well, you--all of you--are against Homo Phobia?" 

"Of course," Roland said simply, completely oblivious to the rest of his ka-tet collectively holding their breath, nervous to see how Cuthbert would react.

"Okay, very well. You may continue on with your story," Cuthbert said with a smile. Despite being hard to read for most of that conversation, Eddie thought he seemed almost relieved now. As they all were. Had Cuthbert been, well, homophobic, it would not bode well for his place in their group. Jake is gay, and recently started seeing a boy. They were all very happy for him. Eddie wouldn't tolerate any hate toward his little bro, even if it was coming from the legendary Cuthbert, who their dinh--their father--dearly missed over all these long, strange years.

-----------------

When this palaver had initially started, Cuthbert asked many questions. Eddie thought it would take half of forever to get through their entire story with how often they were interrupted. Not that he didn’t understand it. Hell, if someone recounted this story to him a few years ago, he’d certainly have had a lot of questions, the first being: ‘How stupid do you think I am?’

Cuthbert had been trying to wrap his brain around everything they had been through, but eventually gave up. There was just so much and after a while, he realized that it was easier to just sit and listen. Comprehension would come later, over time. A corporation to protect the rose--the rose which may also be the Tower? Sure. A spider baby with four parents? Okay. The death of this baby at the hands of none other than Walter O’Dim? Alright. A writer who created books--make believe books--about their lives? A group of telepaths working to break the Beams which hold the Tower, using the force stolen from the twin children of the Callas to enhance their abilities? Sheemie, Cuthbert’s dear friend, alive after all those years?

It’s the truth, Cuthbert thought. I know it’s the truth. That’s what makes it so hard to believe.

-----------------

“We have come to the most important part of our story,” Roland said solemnly. They had just been speaking of freeing the Breakers and the chaos which broke out around them. “See this, Cuthbert Allgood. See it very well.” Roland said and proceeded to describe the spot in Pleasantville, the alley between the movie theater and the hair salon, where blood from the battle still ran into the gutters. This was where they had finally made their stand, the one that changed everything: Their stand against ka.

-----------------

“Come here, Gilead,” Susannah said. “This is a group hug, and you’re part of the group.”

It took Roland a moment to understand Susannah’s invitation. Part of him would forever believe that they didn’t accept him as part of their group. He would always be an outsider among them. The three of them had come from the same world after all, and even though they came from different whens, this still gave them a deeper understanding of each other. They had grown up with the same stories, made wishes on the same stars, and shared inside jokes that Roland would never understand no matter how much he tried.

When he realized that she had meant him, he went over with a cheered heart. He stopped on his way to pick up Oy of Mid-World. Whenever Roland felt like an outsider, it helped to remember that they all loved Oy, who also hailed from a different world.

They wrapped their arms around one another, embracing in the aftermath of their victory. The beam was safe and they were together. Susannah kissed Roland’s forehead, causing Jake and Eddie to laugh. Roland delighted in the sound of their laughter and the feel of Susannah’s kiss, thinking that he had never been this happy, never in life.

He shifted and felt the weight of the horn on his belt, where he had placed it before the battle began, reminding him of his dear friend Cuthbert Allgood. One person, out of many, who had been lost in search of the Tower. How many more? He looked around at his ka-tet, currently embracing him, and knew the answer. All of them. All of the people he loved would be lost. No, not lost, killed. And whose fault would it be? Who else could be blamed but the one who brought them into this world and taught them the ways of the gun?

They'd all felt the ka-shume and Roland knew it was only a matter of time, perhaps only a few moments, before he'd lose another. Unless he did something about it.

"I renounce," he mumbled. The words got stuck and he choked them out. Some kind of mass seemed to appear in his throat, making it hard to speak.

"What, Roland?" Susannah said, still smiling. She started to pull away to look at Roland, but he pulled her back into the embrace. 

"No more," he said firmly. "I renounce." At this they all pulled away from the embrace and looked at Roland, shocked. And then, head turned up to the sky, Roland of Gilead shouted at the top of his lungs: "I RENOUNCE THE TOWER!"

-----------------

It was quiet as they all gave Cuthbert a moment to fathom renouncing the Tower. Then, Eddie broke the silence, as he was wont to do. “I was scared. I half expected the Beam to break at Roland’s very words. But… nothing happened. The sky didn’t fall, the ground didn’t split open, not even a Beamquake. Nothing.” Eddie thought for a moment, and then spoke again. “Well, not exactly nothing…” he trailed off, unsure how to describe what he had felt.

“Lightness,” Jake finished for him, eyes wide, looking at nothing in particular. “It was like a ten pound weight was lifted from my chest and a shadow left my mind.”

“The lifting of the ka-shume,” Susannah said and Roland nodded. He had felt it himself. He had also been granted one clear insight at his decision to renounce- One more job to do, this to be done with the aid of the Breakers, and then…freedom.

“Yes, you say true Susannah,” Roland said. “The despair and dread of the forthcoming breaking of the ka-tet left all of our hearts. Our ka-tet--our family--was safe.” At this, Roland lifted his arms to embrace his children. Cuthbert was surprised to see his old friend openly weeping as he held them tightly. Watching them all share such overwhelming love for one another, he felt a little like crying himself.

-----------------

“And what of the writer? The one who you say… created us,” Cuthbert said, still not quite grasping this concept.

“Not created, but facilitated,” Roland said. “Sheemie, with the help of some of the other Breakers, made a hole for us that led to June 19th, 1999. We went as soon as we finished at Algul Siento, giving us just enough time to stop him from going on his walk. That was the last act we ever did for the Tower.

“So, you see,” Eddie said, “things are pretty much taken care of in the two keystone worlds, and that's all that matters. We started the corporation to protect the rose, we freed the Breakers, and we saved Stephen King. The Crimson King is old and imprisoned and the one created to take his place is dead. Anything else you'd do during your quest, would be, well, redundant. Because this world and the one in which Sai King lives, are the only worlds that truly matter. And those things are already done. If you were to go in search of the Tower from here, the only thing you could accomplish is seeing it. And maybe that's enough to drive you anyway. God knows it was enough for me at some point, but not anymore. To be with the people I love is enough. Anything else, ka can take care of.

“What about Walter?”

“Ever since he killed the Red King's offspring in the Arc-16 Experimental Station, he's made himself scarce,” Roland said. “I suspect we need not worry about him for a long while.”

Everyone mused on this for a moment and then Roland spoke again: “I suggest we end our palaver here for now, as we need to eat and then take our night’s rest. We’ve discussed the most crucial parts of our journey; anything else can wait for tomorrow.”

-----------------

After they had taken their meal--during which, not much was said (food and palaver don’t mix, as Roland had been wont to say)-- they all settled into the area in which they chose to camp for the night. Without discussion, Roland and Cuthbert took their bedrolls a short distance away from the others, who seemed to instinctively know to give the freshly reacquainted friends some space.

Cuthbert stopped near a copse of trees. “I like this spot, ‘tis a good spot, I think.”

Roland nodded, although he couldn’t see what made this spot in the woods any different than the rest. He laid his bedroll on a flat piece of ground behind one of the trees and sat upon it.

Cuthbert started to lay his own right next to it and Roland looked up at him. Cuthbert caught this glance and assumed Roland was about to tease him. “Do not utter a word,” Cuthbert said, the firmness in his voice was betrayed by the wide smile on his face. “I am in a strange place, in a new world, and you are the only thing here that is familiar to me. If I want to sleep right next to my best friend, who I’ve mourned over for Gods know how long, that is to be expected.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything. I was only thinking how long it’s been since the last time I slept this close to you. If my memory serves, we shared a sleeping space the night before Jericho Hill. The night before you died.”

“Aye, we did. Only, for me, ‘twas the night before you died. We needed all the comfort we could get, what with the upcoming battle. Not to mention our condemnable deed.” Cuthbert said, thinking of Alain, who had been their loyal friend to the very end. Had, in fact, died while trying to help them. And at their hands.

“Those are bygone days. And we look ahead, not toward a battle, but at unencumbered time. No duties, no fight, no killing. You may choose to go on gunslinging, as we have been doing for the past few years, or I suppose you may even choose to go after the Tower. But we can rest knowing that tomorrow, at least, will be free of all such worry.”

“When did you get so blithe?” Cuthbert asked, bemused. He was rather amazed (and impressed) at how different Roland was, how easygoing he sounded. “The Roland I knew was always raring for a fight.”

“The Roland you knew died. And good riddance because that Roland had no soul. I didn’t get that back until I met them,” Roland said, gesturing toward the direction in which his children lay. “Eddie said something to me once. He said that I saved more than just his life, I saved his soul. But he had it the wrong way around. Bass-ackwards, as he would say.”

“Bass-ackwards,” Cuthbert snorted a laugh, “I like that.” He chose not to comment on the rest of what Roland had said. It was too much for him to think about right now. If he thought about it for too long, he’d start wondering how much of his own soul was gone, and how much he could hope to get back. 

“I thought you might,” Roland said and lay back all the way, perhaps preparing to fall asleep. 

But Cuthbert wasn’t quite ready to try to sleep. He knew what little sleep he could hope for would be plagued by nightmares. “Do you know why I like this spot?”

“Nay. Looks like any other spot in the woods to me.” 

“Of course, for you’re just as dense as the woods. But it brings to my mind one particular place that held some significance to us.” Cuthbert watched as Roland worked this over in his mind. He seemed to be about to give up and ask when understanding suddenly washed over him. A bright smile took over Roland’s face, that slightly mad smile that Cuthbert had always cherished.

“The woods of West-Town,” Roland said with whispered excitement. “How could I have forgotten?” He was genuinely delighted by this memory, for those woods had been a sort of haven for the two of them. One of those secret places that only childhood friends could hold in such reverence. Whenever one of them had needed an escape--be it from a parental scolding or difficulties with their training--the woods were there for them. They had even used it in their young adulthood, whenever they were in need of a temporary reprieve from the many responsibilities and expectations placed upon them.

“Aye, behind the uprooted bush, right between the trees. That was our little hideout.” To Cuthbert, it held an extra significance because this was one of the few places that he could be alone with Roland. When they were there, he had Roland’s full attention. It was their little secret. Deep down, a part of him had always secretly hoped that one day, they might share a romantic moment there. And it would become a new kind of secret escape. “We thought we were right trig going down there.”

“Mayhap we were. No one ever caught us, did they?”

“Not that we were aware. Cort had probably known the whole time and oh, how he’d laugh at how clever we thought we were being”

“Nay, if Cort had known, he certainly would’ve used the knowledge to shame us.”

Cuthbert thought that sounded about right. “I’m keeping you up, aren’t I? Usually you would have told me to shut my gob by now. Honestly, it's kind of strange that you haven't."

"Bert, I have gone hundreds, maybe even a thousand years without hearing your voice. I wouldn’t mind if you never stopped talking." There it was again, that almost blunt sentiment, spoken with such a casual ease that the Roland he had known from days of old could never have pulled off. Not, at least, when speaking to Cuthbert. Perhaps he spoke so with Susan, or even Aileen, but when it came to friendships, expressing feelings had been difficult for Roland. As it was for them all; friendly affection had been effectively trained out of the crop of gunslingers. It seemed Roland's family, as a part of saving his soul, had helped him recover his emotional side.  

"Be careful with what you wish, Ro'," Cuthbert said, smirking. "For you never know what Gods are listening"

"I always am. I'd not utter a wish I did not mean."

Cuthbert considered this, reckoned he was reading too much into Roland’s words, and decided to change the subject once again. “Earlier, when you were speaking of the sky-carriage, you gave me a funny look. What was that for?”

Roland cast his mind back. They had discussed a great deal today. The sky-carriage though, that had been one of the first things. And now Roland knew what Cuthbert must have been referring to. He probably had given him a strange look, because for a moment, he felt like he had seen a ghost. 

“It was because I mentioned Cort, and not only did you know who he was, but you actually shared my memory. I'm used to talking to folken who weren't around during that time. I think that’s when it first started to sink in that you’re actually here. I am no longer the only one who has to bear the memory of Gilead as it was, before the world moved on.”

“Aye, I understand what that feels like, so I do,” Cuthbert said. “Sometimes it feels like those days never really happened.” Again, Roland was startled, because this was exactly what he was trying to say. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised. Cuthbert had always had a way of articulating the thoughts and feelings that got stuck in Roland’s mind.

“When we had first arrived in the Calla, Ben Slightman the Elder said something to me. Something that troubled me. He said, ‘I heard of Jericho Hill and such blood-and-thunder tales of pretend’. To my face, he said that. What was the end of the world for me, was only a bedtime story to him.

“That careless statement would not leave my mind, Bert. I had known that the Battle of Jericho Hill and all the other events of that time were not simply tales of make-believe. I had lived through them. Piece by piece I lost everything. My mother, my teacher, my father, my home, my friends, each loss burning another scar into my soul. I still felt the effects of the ancient wounds that would never heal. But deep down, in a part of me that is immune to logic, I started to believe it. Maybe it had been make-believe, for who did I have around me that could confirm my memories? And would losing everything in such a tumultuous, chary succession ever truly seem real?

“But now, I have you. Finally, someone else who remembers what life was like in those days before Gilead fell. Someone who knows what it’s like to give up your youth to fight a losing battle. And to spend the rest of your life trying desperately to find a way to bring back the life you once knew.”

Cuthbert racked his brain trying to figure out how to respond to this. He wasn’t used to such heavy subject matter. He came up with and discarded several joke responses, figuring Roland wouldn’t appreciate humor at this moment (he rarely appreciated humor at any moment). He needn’t have worried so much, because after only a few moments, he realized he could hear soft, even breathing coming from next to him. Roland had fallen asleep.

[wyntereyez]

What happens under the mistletoe part 4 - A Storage 24 CS AU

Once again, I missed the opportunity to finish this around Christmas.  Oh, well.

Includes some description of when Killian’s face was bitten.  If you’re squeamish, you probably shouldn’t be here anyway.

Part Four

Emma had learned to control herself around humans, but the evening was pushing her to her limits.  Killian knew her well enough by now to recognize the unnatural stiffness of her body as she fought down the desire to change into her natural form.  She was mostly successful, but he caught glimpses of yellow in her eyes, flashes of too-sharp teeth behind her perfect lips.

Killian wondered if he should encourage her to take her natural form.  She’d be far more comfortable in her own tough skin, and everyone here knew who and what she was.  In fact, there was at least one of her pack who had already shed his human skin and was giving a piggy-back ride to Roland, Robin’s son.  

But when Killian gently suggested it, she hissed.  She was pack leader, and must be seen as being in control at all times.

“We’ll leave as soon as dinner is over,” Killian promised.  Emma growled her agreement, baleful yellow eyes on one of the decorated trees, which inexplicably offended her.  Mary Margaret would object, but Killian could point out that he and Emma needed to be up early for the arrival of the rest of her pack.

Besides, Mary Margaret always had someone dressed as Santa distribute presents at the end of the evening.  Archie was the unlucky ‘volunteer’ this year.  Killian wanted Emma far, far away before he put in an appearance.

They’d been mingling for half an hour when Mary Margaret found Killian in order to drag him to the kitchen to help with the baking.  Emma trailed along behind, unwilling to be left alone in the crowd.

When Mary Margaret gave him a mischievous look, however, he knew something else was up.  And sure enough, just over the kitchen door was a sprig of something he’d been trying very, very carefully to avoid.

Mistletoe.

Killian froze and stared up at it in horror.  Mary Margaret, who’d been grinning widely, frowned.  “Is there a problem?”

“It’s mistletoe,” Killian said faintly.

“Yes,” Mary Margaret said.  “And…?”

“You know what happens under the mistletoe!”

“What happens under the mistletoe?” Emma asked, eyeing the offending plant warily.

Mary Margaret opened her mouth to respond.

Killian clapped his hand over her mouth.  “Usually nothing.  But sometimes, the berries fall off and hit you on the head.  Very irritating, that.”  He gave the sputtering Mary Margaret a death glare.

“You are frightened of berries,” Emma said slowly.

“They’re very hard berries,” Mary Margaret said as Killian pulled his hand away.

Emma was starting to look as though she had regrets.

“It’s a stupid human tradition,” Killian said quickly.  “If you walk under it and the berry hits you, then you lose the game.”

“You lose Christmas?” Emma asked.

“Uh…sure…?” Killian’s brain was failing him.

Mary Margaret nodded vigorously.  “You don’t want to lose at Christmas,” she said, her eyes lighting up.

Oh.  Oh no.  Killian had the horrible feeling he’d just started a new, annoying Christmas tradition.

“Do you die if you lose?” Emma asked.

“Oh, no!” Mary Margaret said.  “You just…dress up as Santa Claus next year and let all the children sit on your lap.”

“So, death,” Emma nodded.  

Mary Margaret’s eyes widened.

“Emma, look!  There’s Doctor Whale!  Didn’t you need to speak with him about tomorrow?” Killian blurted out.

Emma tilted her head.  “I will be right back, Mate,” she said, loping off towards where Whale was unsuccessfully flirting with Regina’s sister Zelena.

“What was that all about?” Mary Margaret hissed in his ear.

“I can’t kiss her,” Killian whispered.

“Killian, she’s your wife.”

“Aye, and look what happened the last time we kissed!” he hissed, gesturing at his face.  “I can’t do it, Mary Margaret, I can’t!”

Despite their rather gruesome beginnings, Killian was actually fond of his alien mate.  He was pretty sure he even loved her.  He lived with her, held her hand, brushed her hair away from her face, even slept with her…they were actually a cute couple, according to the press.

But there was one thing he just couldn’t do with her: kiss her.

Emma had made great strides in understanding the frailty of humans compared to her own species, and had seen enough romcoms to realize that kissing didn’t involve the removal of half of one’s face, but Killian…well…

Killian was terrified.

He still dreamed of it: how his ruined face had looked in his brief glimpse in a mirror, how the gaps in his flesh had felt beneath the bandages…how blood and flesh - pieces of him - had streaked his shirt…and the pain, so much worse than when he’d lost his hand.  Having her savage teeth so close to his face made him want to scream.

“Oh, Killian…” Mary Margaret hugged him.  “Does she know?”

He shook his head miserably.  “I can’t tell her that.  She’s from a warrior culture that culls the weak.  Hell, she wants to hunt Santa Claus!  Does she seem like the type who would show any kind of gentleness?”

“Have you given her a chance?” Mary Margaret asked shrewdly.  “I know she’s terrifying, but of all the people on the planet, she chose you.  She could have had anyone - actors, athletes, scientists, astronauts…”

“...er…”

“Models, billionaires, politicians, soldiers…Killian, she could have the strongest, handsomest, cleverest people on the planet, and instead she chose you!”

“...thanks?”

“Heck, even someone with hunting and survival skills would be more suited to her, but she chose a one-handed musician with anxiety,” Mary Margaret concluded.

“Will I be getting my balls back, or are you saving them for a Christmas gift for next year?” Killian asked, eyebrow raised.

“Oh…Yeah, that didn’t come out quite right, did it?” she asked weakly.  “But my point stands.  Give her a chance!  She loves you!  In her weird, alien way.”

“And if it doesn’t end well?”

“Ah…then it won’t matter, will it?”

“You’re going to be an amazing mum, with advice like that,” Killian said.  Mary Margaret swatted his arm.

“C’mon.  I need your help with the pie I promised Archie - wait, did you say Emma wants to hunt Santa Claus?”

“Aye,” Killian said.  “Which is why we’re leaving before -”

Mary Margaret frantically dug out her phone.  “Archie is coming early; he texted he’s on his way now.  I need to warn him before -”

A blood curdling shriek made her drop the phone.  Killian grimaced.

“Ah.  Too late.  I’ll just stop my mate from murder, shall I?”

[krovscastlerpg]

Roland de Rochefort | Council (Belgium) | 1,100 | Vampire | Top

“Maybe I'll obey the rules. Some of them, anyway, who knows? What are you going to do if I don't, by the way, and haven't I asked you this before?”

Somewhere around the year 923 near Rochefort Castle in a region that was not yet Belgium, Roland was born. Given that vampires had been the dominant species for hundreds of years, he was not of noble blood but merely one of many human families who served the vampire lord of the castle. Roland’s family was large though he was noticeable not only for being one of the oldest children but also for being incredibly attractive. His golden hair and blue eyes stood out and the vampire Lord Estienne of Rochefort Castle took notice. Roland was barely eighteen when Estienne decided he wanted the young man as a companion and there was nothing to be done when he was taken. While there was no doubt that Roland’s life improved drastically after this event, since he was pampered and showered with luxury, there was still a deep resentment that festered inside of him for not being free. He was constantly at the mercy of Estienne’s whims, at his beck and call, and there was clearly no gaining power in the world without becoming what his master was. Roland hid his anger and resentment, though it was difficult to do with a vampire. He bided his time and made it seem as though those emotions naturally faded away, and became the most devoted companion anyone could wish for, even fooling himself at times. When other vampire lords visited they remarked on not only the young man’s beauty but also his undoubted love for Estienne.

Nearly twenty years passed in that manner and Roland was 36 when he finally convinced Estienne to turn him into a vampire. How else would they stay together if Roland continued aging and Estienne didn’t? Estienne was so deeply in love with Roland at this point and dependant on him that he agreed and Roland was turned. For Roland’s part, he hadn’t been able to help developing some complex feelings for the vampire since he played his role so well. Nothing changed initially, other than Estienne had to seek out a new source of blood for the two of them but there were still so many peasants around that it was not difficult. Several more years passed before Roland finally made the move he’d been planning for decades, pushing down any regrets he may have begun to form. Estienne, like many lords, was fond of hunting, not just people but animals as well. It was a fine, if overcast, evening that Roland convinced Estienne to go on a midnight hunt. Roland had fully intended to join him, of course, as what could be more fun, but an emergency arose suddenly in the castle that Roland offered to deal with so Estienne would not have to miss the hunt. Estienne agreed and rode out, unaware of the fact that it was the night of the full moon, though Roland had not forgotten. Tragedy struck when the hunting party was attacked by werewolves and Estienne was, most unfortunately, bitten. Roland, to all outward appearances, was devastated and remained by Estienne’s side as he suffered through the effects. It seemed only natural that Estienne should bequeath his title and castle to his devoted fledgling and when the werewolf bite finally killed him, Roland took up the title of Lord of Rochefort castle.

Finally, Roland had the power and freedom he’d always wanted and used that to his advantage, after a suitable mourning period, of course, and outward expressions of grief which were not entirely feigned. Ever in pursuit of new and interesting things and a desire to see more than his small corner of the world, Roland spent the next several centuries traveling and getting to know the upper echelons of vampire society. When it became possible to visit the New World he took that opportunity as well as every opportunity to explore the arts and the finest of the world’s noble courts. He also developed an interest in siring hybrids. Why would he only make plain vampires when the results of turning other species were so much more varied and intriguing?

Full of charm, charisma, and passion as he was, there was always a sharp undercurrent of ruthlessness and even brutality in Roland that could be turned on his enemies (or even his loved ones). He often preferred to use cleverness to outsmart people but he was never afraid to get his hands dirty. It was because of that inclination that when the Second War broke out he joined in the fighting and brought his resources to bear against the faeries. The war was long and sometimes his skills were better used to recruit allies to their side rather than participate in battles but Roland saw his fair share of those as well. When it was finally over, he was not deemed old enough to join the newly formed vampire council as he was just shy of 900. While it irked him slightly, Roland accepted it with seeming good grace and turned his attention to his own place of origin which, in a few short decades after the war, became its own country known as Belgium. Through all Roland’s travels and involvement in the war, he’d somewhat neglected his original home of Rochefort castle and it fell into ruin. Now that he belonged to a true country, however, Roland kept his origin in his name as he had for centuries but decided to take up residence in Brussels, the new capital. It was the centre of politics, after all, and there was a member of the vampire council assigned to it.

Roland’s initial plan to get close to Alixandre, the Belgian councillor, was rather…calculated. He reasoned that if he maintained close ties, when the position hopefully opened again someday, Roland himself would be the obvious choice as a replacement. He hadn’t counted on falling in love. Roland rarely counted on love and yet it happened so much more often than he anticipated. Instead of staying close and hoping for something to happen to Alix, Roland stayed close because he wanted to. Alix was naturally an older vampire, given his position on the council, and something about his calm and slight melancholy drew Roland in. In his own long life, Roland had certainly had his share of passionate love affairs, some longer lasting than others, but he became fascinated with Alix in a way he hadn’t been with anyone in a long time. Alix had experienced more than even Roland had in his eventful life but was not at first overly willing to share, remaining somewhat guarded which only drew Roland in more. Eventually, they became nearly inseparable, though certainly not monogamous. Through his association with Alix, Roland got to know the other council members and the two of them made many trips to Krovs Castle together, indulging in its pleasures. For a time, Roland was quite happy.

Even for vampires, however, happiness is often shortlived. After not even a century together, real tragedy struck in 1933 and Alix was murdered. It happened so quickly and so unexpectedly that Roland hardly knew how to react. Grief and despair overtook him and it almost escaped him, at first, that Alix’s death meant that there was a council position open. His original plan from so long ago came to fruition without him even wanting it to and he was voted in by the council as the new representative of Belgium. While Roland appreciated the position, for a short time it remained secondary to his primary desire to find and exact bloody vengeance on those who had taken his love from him. It didn’t take long for Roland to achieve that and it was only after he had that he truly started to settle into his role. For the first few decades as councillor he did not visit Krovs Castle at all because the memories of Alix and the grief was still too near. He stayed mostly in Brussels, focused on his own country, and working through his emotions. Eventually, however, when he started to come around to his old self again, he decided it was the place to be and took up frequent residence. He had a new councillor suite commissioned to his tastes to replace the one he’d previously shared with Alix. Roland’s been living there rather consistently, though with some breaks for travel back to Brussels and elsewhere, for the last thirty years or so.

Positive Traits: Charming, clever, social, passionate

Negative Traits: Moody, easily bored, calculating, deceptive

3 turn-ons: Rough sex, teasing and being teased, biting

3 turn-offs: Scat/vomit/watersports, degradation/humiliation, feminization

[outoftowninac]

THE HAREM

1924

The Harem is a three-act play by Ernest Vajda adapted by Avery Hopwood. It was originally produced and staged by David Belasco. It starred Lenore Ulric as Carla and featured William Courtenay.

The story is set in Budapest. 

Carla is the actress wife of Roland Valetti, a Budapest musician. Quite by accident, someone carelessly upsets a can of water on Manon, an attractive divorcee, who stops at the Valetti residence to rest and dry her gown. Remarks lead to a bit of philosophizing between Carla and Manon. Valetti, coming in unawares, mistakes Manon for his wife and plants a passionate kiss upon wet lips. Whereupon Carla proceeds to put Manon's theory to the test. Manon avers that every man has a harem, and that no husband will remain true to his wife. Roland is intrigued into a visit to Manon's apartment. Carla goes there, too, as a Turkish princess. In this guise she succeeds in deceiving her husband, and the play ends with the customary cross-questioning, false explanations. and final confession.

Lenore Ulric (1892-1970)  was discovered by David Belasco in 1913.  He would go on to manage her stage career, in which she was noted for portraying fiery, hot-blooded women; the typical vamp. Belasco managed her stage career until shortly before his death in 1931. In a tribute to Belasco, she said: 

All of us who were with him depended upon him so much that we'd just flounder around and say, "What do I do now?" He was a good soldier, a hard worker, and a great director.

The Harem opened in Atlantic City at Nixon’s Apollo Theatre on November 10, 1924. It then moved on to Washington DC at The National, and Fords in Baltimore. 

The Harem opened on Broadway at the Belasco Theatre (111 West 44th Street). 

About the Venue: David Belasco built it in 1907 with all the luxuries available. Best of all was a ten-room duplex penthouse apartment he built for himself. After his death, the theatre was leased to Katharine Cornell, then Elmer Rice. The Shuberts bought it in 1949 and, after leasing it to NBC for three years, returned it to legit use in 1953.

“There never was such a harem as this, not even to represent a Ziegfeld folly or a John-Murray-Anderson dream in chiffon. It is a gorgeous room hung in billowing silk and lighted with a smoldering Belascoan passion.” ~ BURNS MANTLE

Comparisons were inevitably made to its similarity to The Guardsman, by Ferenc Molnár, a play with a similar theme and storyline. 

In early March 1925, New York theatres came under fire for immoral content. The District Attorney’s office got involved and producers, including David Belasco, were asking to revise their scripts or face suppression. Even Eugene O’Neill’s Desire Under the Elms was deemed “fundamentally bad”.

At the insistence of District Attorney Banton, Manager Belasco last week called several midnight rehearsals of ‘The Harem’ and succeeded in making numerous changes, even against the expressed and, I gather, rather vociferous opposition of Lenore Ulric.  

In the second act, the bedroom upstage has been removed and in its place there is now a grand piano topped with a vase of roses. 

Here is a cleaning up indeed. Nothing certainly can be more chaste than a grand piano. Unless it be two grand pianos. And what could more sweetly suggest home and mother than a vase of roses? 

But will the play juror appreciate this? If Miss Ulric, as the lady of the play, should walk up to that section of the stage and remark: "Here where I stand, and where my bed used to be before they moved in this d---- piano, I say to you, musseer, I am not going back to my husband this evening!"

More scandal then rocked The Harem...

Lenore Ulric and Belasco had not been on speaking terms since he sold the screen rights to Kiki, a play she devoted three years of her life to, to United Artists, who would certainly cast Norma Talmadge in the title role. [Which is indeed what happened.]  Ulric was also not happy about the play being censored and felt that Belasco did not fight hard enough for the play. Ulric suddenly gave two weeks notice. Belasco set into action to recast the role, summoning Vivienne Osborne, whom he had seen in another play still running on Broadway, to his office. She accepted his offer to replace Ulric and gave her two weeks notice to the play she was then appearing in. Broadway managers cried foul, claiming Belasco breached their gentlemen’s agreement about poaching actors. Others carped that Belasco was a ‘law unto himself’ and ran roughshod over others. The unions, however, confirmed that as long as two weeks notice was given, the actors were within their rights. Rumors persisted that Ulric was about to get married to actor Sidney Blackmer, who was also appearing on stage at the time, in a play in Brooklyn. As for Ulric, she denied that she and Belasco had fallen out, and claimed she was leaving to nurse her failing voice. Ulric’s final performance in The Harem would be on May 9, 1925. 

Two weeks after Osborne’s first performance, Belasco posted a closing notice for May 30, 1925. The play scored 183 performances. 

To bolster Miss Osborne, Belasco announced that he ‘may’ make the actress his next big star. But this was simply to save face. Although Osborne returned to Broadway in 1927, she never again worked for David Belasco. In 1926, Ulric returned to work for Belasco and they stayed together till his death. In 1929, Ulric married Sidney Blackmer. They were together ten years. She accepted the blame for their divorce. 

“I don't think I'm comfortable to live with. I have a temper. I'm difficult. I'm too quick and too impulsive. And men have a right to be comfortable.” 

[askisabella]

What is one thing you'd like to get off your chest? Spell of Shattered Sight, opinion.

Henry is an ungrateful spoiled brat who doesn't realize how good he has it. Your mom was the Evil Queen, so what? She took care of you growing up, didn't she? You had everything you could have desired, didn't you? You were loved. You were cared for. This is more than most can ask for in life. I get he wanted to meet his biological mother, but he had no regard for others feelings. Did Regina deserve to be called on her behaviors? Of course. Did everyone deserve the curse break? Damn straight we did. Henry, I'm sorry your loving mother tried to convince you a story about her horrible tragic past wasn't true but grow the hell up. He wants to be treated like an older child but he still throws tantrums like a toddler. And EMMA! Did this woman actually think about what she was doing? She threatened to take a son away from a mother who treated him right. She had no legal right to demand her son back. SHE GAVE HIM UP! She abandoned him at birth. There were chances to get him back before he was adopted out and she chose not to. She chose to let him go! So she regretted it after she met the kid? She didn't seem to care enough to find him before he knocked on her damn door. Then she walks in and demands to have custody of someone she gave away? Sod off, Sheriff. If anyone is abusing power it's you! Does Henry deserve to have both mothers in his life? Yes. Does Emma deserve the right to dictate when his legal mother can see him? Hell no.

What the bloody hell is wrong with this town?

Don't get me started on Cecily! I've been around the girl for years and all I've heard is how much she misses her family. We get it. It's been decades of the same woes. Drop it already or do something to find them!

Then we've got the very man who brought Cecily to the Merry Men. Though we clearly weren't all merry once Cecily joined the ranks. Robin Hood. First of all, why Hood? You couldn't come up with something else? It sounds so idiotic. Second of all, what the hell is wrong with you?! I understand your wife was brought back from the dead, another wonderful thing the Sheriff Savior did for us all, but that doesn't mean you have to be with her. She died. Like dead dead. Your vows died along side of her. You finally moved on. For the first time since we met you were actually happy! You're a halfwit for trying to resurrect a relationship that died years ago. I have been babysitting your son for weeks on end while you try to figure out your heart. Get it together! We all know you are in love with Regina and that isn't going to change. Stop trying to make it. You're so damn righteous it's annoying! You speak of honor but I don't see you honoring your love for Regina. You're not the man I thought you were. I hope Roland doesn't grow up to be as careless with others as you are.

Don't ask about Regina. Just don't.

Does Rumple even have power anymore? The man is whipped by the librarian. THE LIBRARIAN! He gave it all up for love? Pathetic.

Evie, who the fuck even are you?

Sam, no one cares about your animals except maybe Snow White. Seriously. If we were back in the Enchanted Forest your cats would have been my dinner many moons ago.

Speaking of dinner, Booker is not as great of a cook as he thinks he is. Wolfboy needs to work on some new recipes. Also, he needs to stop showering before a meal. I know he's in human form but I swear he still smells like wet dog at times. It's disgusting. Then again when he puts on aftershave or cologne all I want to do is fuck him which is annoying. His stupid attractive face and toned body needs to leave me the hell alone before I end up with another broken heart. No one gave him the right to be so damn nice to me! WHY? I'm not a good person! I would gladly burn a few people if I wasn't so afraid I would be ostracized like my mother. He’s just an idiot.

HOOK, CHANGE YOUR DAMN CLOTHES!

[silverblighted]

TTRPG ASKS, any of your characters(I’m new here so I don’t know your OCs) 1, 8, 13

AH!!! welcome!!!! thank you *_* I'll do Miss Adamantine, my divination wizard! 1: How did you come up with your OCs name? Her birth name is Lethe, after the river in the underworld. Mythology names are always my go-to because I'm unoriginal, LOL. Her name now, Adamantine, is her virtue name, and is symbolic of her desire to be strong and to find strength in the world so that her suffering, and the suffering of her friend (at the time) would come to an end. Basically, she had no spine, no will, no strength of spirit before now and that was her main desire. She has since grown, but she does like her name and probably wont change it. 8: What do they look like? (Do you have art of them? Are you open to fan art?) Ugh - SO MUCH! It's all here: CLICK! But if you wanna draw her, go for it, her tattoos are just... A LOT, so I don't really blame anyone for not doing so. but in general: Adamantine is a petite, slender tiefling with pale lavender coloured skin and dark black horns. Her hair is pale off-white with tints of purple, it is extremely long and usually kept in a braid, and her eyes are crimson. Her entire body, except for her face, is covered in a network of black tattoos. Most are spells, or made of a combination of spell ink and devil blood. The tattoos on her back have been scarred out and destroyed. She typically wears an ankle length black dress with long black sleeves, but has recently acquired a Robe of Stars, which is black and is speckled with starlight. 13: What is their alignment? What would THEY say their alignment is? Does it matter to them? Her alignment is chaotic neutral, on paper, but she's developing into a neutral good alignment with her interactions with her party members. I think Addy would tell people she's inherently bad, or evil, or at least believes that she is, but I don't think her actions are ever evil. Her morality is very important to her, as its a big struggle for her character. She has developed out of a need to survive and has done 'horrible' things to ensure her freedom and survival, but ultimately loathes those decisions. Unfortunately, she believes she's a curse to the world for several different reasons, but often acts with extreme goodness to both counterbalance that belief but also because she wants to help the people close to her. All in all, her alignment is probably one of the most complicated of any of my characters, solely because... she's... kind of a contradiction but also heavily influenced by her very Good significant other. (Addy's personality has softened a great deal because of Roland, and also her friends.)

skjdhfksjhfkjhf i hope that wasn't too much. she's a weird guy, but I am fond of her!!! thank you for asking though ! it warmed my lil heart.

[side-effect-of-the-meds]

I know it’s not what you usually write, but could you do hc’s for Nicky / Aaron / Neil learning the actual timeline for Andrew and Roland’s “relationship” and then completely cutting Roland out of their lives? Bonus points if Neil like, kills or calls up Ichirou to kill him :) thanks :) I need closure :)

Don’t we all, babe? Here’s a lil something for your trouble

“How old were you when you lost your virginity,” Andrew read off the block. All the Upperclassmen, save Renee leaned forward in anticipation. Amidst the flood of articles published upon Andrew’s admittance to Easthaven, the media had muddled much of the story in regards to the entire Pre-Thanksgiving Fiasco. While Neil had taken the time to clear things up with the Upperclassmen, he’d left out a lot of the details, namely Andrew’s history of trauma. 

“It’s none of y’alls fucking buisness-” Aaron started. 

“Seven.” It was as though someone had sucked all the air out of the room. “He was dating my foster mother. She knew what he was doing. So long as she got her check, she didn’t care.”

Folding his hands in his lap in an attempt to sate his urge to reach out, Neil let his eyes go out of focus. Every single fiber of his being ached to touch Andrew. For eight months, Andrew had stood by his side, quelling his every urge to run despite the looming threat of his father. Even after Nathan’s death, Neil had bolted awake in the middle of nights, iching to cut and run. Every single time, Andrew had hooked a hand behind his neck, drawn him close, muttered quiet reassurances until he’d smoothed over all of Neil’s ragged edges. Admitting this could not be easy for Andrew. Why he’d even done it, Neil didn’t know but he wished that he could offer Andrew with at least a fraction of the support he’d provided him in the last year. By nothing short of a miracle, he was granted the opportunity to. 

Andrew’s arm dropped from off the couch back, settling across Neil’s shoulders. Immediately, Neil felt himself relax. 

“How old were you when you chose to have sex for the first time?” Nicky asked, hesitantly. That wasn’t a distinction anyone should ever have to draw and it cut Neil deeper than any of his father’s knives. 

“Seventeen,” Andrew answered. The Foxes collectively exhaled. In South Carolina, the age of consent was sixteen. It probably wasn’t a good call to grant hormonally charged teens the legal ability to consent to sex but what were they going to do? Have sex with an adult? 

“Who was it?” Nicky asked. Aaron groaned, clapping his hands over his ears. 

“Roland,” Andrew admitted. The second the name left his lips, Nicky’s smile faltered. Aaron’s hands dropped away, his brows knitting together as they always did when he was sorting through something. 

“No way,” Nicky laughed but it was false cheer. Concern welled in Neil’s chest. “Andrew, when you were seventeen, Roland was…”

“Twenty-three,” Aaron said. His voice was empty, devoid of all the fury painting his features. “He was twenty-three years old and you were a child.”

“I’m more than capable of making my own-” Andrew started.

“No you fucking weren’t!” Aaron roared. “He was your boss. Not only was he older than you, he was in a place of power.” Once more, a pregnant silence fell over the Foxes. None of the Upperclassmen nor Kevin deigned to intervene. 

“Aaron-” Andrew began.

“No,” he snapped. “I don’t- I can’t,” Aaron said as he rocketed out of his seat. Storming through, he knocked into the table and sent the jenga tower toppling. 

“How about we call it a night?” Matt asked. He didn’t wait for an answer before he began clearing away the blocks. Renee moved next, clearing up the glasses and coaxing Dan and Allison to help her with the dishes. Nicky stood, his movements mechanical as he made his way from the room. Kevin followed him out in silence. It wasn’t until everyone had left the room that Andrew moved. Unfurling from where he’d curled up on the couch, he drew his arm back from around Neil and stood. 

“Andrew,” Neil called quietly. There was something poisonous in the gaze he turned on Neil but it did nothing to deter him. “He wasn’t just older or your boss. He didn’t respect you.” Andrew’s lips curled in a snarl. “You had to handcuff him just to keep his hands off you.” Neil’s voice broke near the end but he didn’t care. It seemed to break something in Andrew too.His apathetic facade fell back into place but there were cracks in it now. From the slump of his shoulders to the muscle ticking in his jaw, Neil could see how their words had affected him. Andrew didn’t believe in regret for it was the result of shame and guilt. Surely, he felt neither of those things now. There was no shame in sating his desires. All teens had them. There was no guilt in it either. He wasn’t the one that had done anything wrong. 

Fishing his cigarettes out of his pocket, Andrew slipped one out of the carton and lit it up. He headed out the door with Neil at his heels. They parted ways at the door to their room, Andrew headed for the stairwell in search of some time to clear his head and Neil headed for their bed to give him the space he undoubtedly needed. 

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“How was y’alls weekend?” Bee asked, chipper as ever. “I heard you forwent the usual Columbia outing in favor of going to one of Dan’s game night.” Aaron’s heart stumbled. A wave of anger washed over him, thinly veiling the anguish beneath. Seven. Andrew had been hurting since he was seven. Not only that, but he’d allowed the unthinkable.

“How can you stand him?” Aaron asked, his body trembled as he struggled to contain his anger. 

“How can you stand her?” Andrew countered. As always, he looked entirely uninterested in the proceedings. He was slumped down in his chair, absently stirring his hot chocolate. 

“Tilda didn’t rape me.” Bee sat a little straighter. Immediately, her gaze flicked towards Andrew. Aaron watched as Andrew set his cup back onto the desk. 

“I trust Neil.” 

“Like you trusted Roland?” Aaron’s voice came out sounding cold, empty, and nothing like himself. Fury lit up Andrew’s face. “He was twenty-three, Andrew. An adult! You were seventeen. What the fuck were you thinking?” A heavy silence settled over them. Bee always gave the boys a few minutes to cool down or pick up the conversation without her own intervention. Just as she opened her mouth, Andrew spoke.

“It was the first time I’d felt in control of things,” he said finally. “Everyone was always taking what they wanted from me. My… arrangement with Roland was purely transactional. I got him off and I got to feel like I was in control.” Andrew picked his mug back up from the desk. Aaron watched as he drained it in one go. “In retrospect, I see that I wasn’t. My sense of control was an illusion that Roland allowed me to maintain so that he could get what he wanted.” 

“That’s a very interesting insight, Andrew,” Bee remarked. She made several notes on her clipboard as Aaron digested his brother’s words. That was all they had time for. The two of them allowed Bee to walk them to the door of the clinic and drove back to the court in silence. 

Despite it being the middle of practice, Nicky was standing in the parking lot. 

“Hey,” he said, plastering a smile to his face at the twins’ approach. 

“What are you doing?” Aaron asked. He watched as a shiver ran down his cousin’s spine at the chilly tone. 

“I left the flash drive with all my old photos of Erik at the house a while ago. I’ve gotta go grab it so I can make him a video for our 7th anniversary! Kevin’s letting me borrow his car too. How was Bee?” Neither of the twins answered. “Alright, good talk!” Nicky called after them.

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Good talk indeed. It seemed that neither of the twins suspected a thing. Cutting the engine on, Nicky peeled out of the lot. A month after Riko’s death, the Ravens had sent his old car to Kevin. They’d said that, as his brother and closest family member, Kevin should be the one to inherit all his belongings. Of course, their intentions weren’t as pure as the media portrayed them to be. Every single one of Riko’s belongings served as a reminder of Kevin’s time in the Nest. 

The Foxes had held a bonfire on the beach in which they’d burnt all of it. Neil had attended as well. From what Nicky had managed to wring from him, his mother had died on a beach and Neil had been forced to burn her body. 

“It won’t be easy,” Neil had admitted, “but I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” The smile that had stretched across his had been so undeniably fox-like that Nicky had done a double take. 

It was nice seeing Neil smile. It was even nicer to see the way Andrew relaxed around him. The two of them had been forged in the hellfires of their upbringings into the most wicked blades in the Fox arsenal. But that didn’t mean they were invincible. Even the sharpest of knives could be scratched and chipped and, eventually, broken. 

Ever since Andrew first arrived in Columbia, Nicky had sworn he’d protect his cousins to the best of his abilities. He’d never once managed it. In fact, more often than not, Andrew was the one protecting him. It was time he paid him back for it. 

Nicky pulled into the parking lot of the ramshackle apartments at the edge of Columbia in record time. Atop his car, lounged a familiar figure. 

“Nicky?” Roland called as he sat up. His eyes were red and he reeked of weed. “What are you doing all the way out here without Andrew?” Nicky could feel his blood boiling beneath his skin. 

“When did you start sleeping with him?” Nicky asked, struggling to keep his voice steady. Roland’s brows knitted together as he thought.

“Started maybe… four years ago? It ended as soon as your little runner joined the line, though. Shame,” Roland said, sliding off the trunk of his car, “Andrew was the best I’d ever had.” 

“Do you know how old he was?” Nicky demanded. There was no hiding the way it trembled now. 

“He was seventeen.” The answer was immediate and it knocked the air out of Nicky’s lungs. “He was legal,” Roland said with a shrug. The old one two, he heard Matt say in his head. It suddenly struck Nicky that Roland was older than he was. 

“He was a child,” Nicky roared. “My child!” Before he even realized, Nicky had closed the space between them. His hand came up, curled in a fist. The jarring pain of his own knuckles connecting with the side of Roland’s jaw knocked him back into his body. 

“What the fuck, Nicky-” Roland started but, as he looked up from where he’d fallen, terror washed over his face. 

“Don’t you ever speak to me or my boys again,” Nicky snarled. The drive back passed in a blur. Making his way up the stairs mechanically, Nicky headed back to his own room. When he opened the door, he found Andrew settled on the couch with Neil in his lap and a controller in his hands. Aaron was stretched out on the other couch, watching the screen. 

“Can’t wait to lose a fourth time, can you, Minyard?” Matt taunted. 

“Fuck off, Boyd,” Andrew snapped. Aaron laughed, warm and bright, and the sound filled the room. Nicky watched as Andrew’s gaze flicked over to his brother, the ghost of a smile flickering across his mouth. My boys, Nicky thought with a smile. 

“Come on, Nicky,” Matt called. “I need someone who’ll put up a real challenge.” 

“Get ready to have that fine ass of yours handed to you,” Nicky shot back. 

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“You’ve missed quite a few birthdays,” Neil said, offhandedly. 

“That’s a helluva birthday present, Abram,” the man on the other end of the line remarked. 

“It is,” Neil agreed. The man huffed an exaggerated sigh. 

“Fine. You’ll have Roland’s head by the end of the week.” 

“Thanks, Uncle Stuart,” Neil said. He could feel the cruel smile curling his lips but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He was one of the monsters after all.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

I've mentioned this before a few times but seriously imagine if instead of Maya having to die (let's be real), Ava got Tyreen's powers and realizes being a Siren actually isn't as cool as it seems cuz whoops thousands of people are now hunting you for sport or experimentation and you can't touch anyone anymore without accidentally hurting them. You may now regret begging for the siren curse. Also, we'd actually get to see Maya train Ava as a Siren AND see what the phaseleech powers would have been like if they weren't broken between two people and the Phasewalk/lock powers weren't thrown into the mix.

Yes I'm still on this alt. Scenario because I think it would have been really cool and helped develop Ava as a character since her entire thing up until Maya's death was literally just "I'm going to be a Siren Vault Hunter" and then at the end of the story she just gets it without really working for any of it or even being prominent in the plot at all. She shows up, like, twice and then disappears until Troy dies. She literally just shows up at the end of the Troy fight and gets powers for that cutscene. I don't hate Ava but I will admit that was kind of a 'forced' moment for me. I knew what they were trying for, but damn they really missed the mark trying to make Ava Maya's lil trainee cuz we barely see them interact, and Maya isn't even alive long enough after her introduction to have the two of them talk beyond arguing. Im guessing a lot of their interactions were cut, and maybe also because Athenas was only a single map, but still.

And yeah okay for Ava to get powers, Maya dies and I guess that can be considered a drawback for her, but let's be real the issue I truly have with this whole thing is that Ava doesn't even work a BIT on screen to prove to the players she's a good choice (and in fact 2 of her most prominent moments are her disobeying a fan favorite character that then dies- it doesn't help her case). Maya dies, but that's not Ava's fault imo, and so Ava does literally nothing the whole story (I'm down for arguments either way, but the minute Maya decided holding Troy physically instead of using her Phaselock was somehow the better option when she knows at least one of those siblings can give others the deadly suck by physically touching them, my brain just shuts off) and she also learns nothing. If anything, she probably learns that if she just yells it enough at people, she'll get what she wants, cuz that's pretty much the extent of what she does in the main story beyond being sad and lockpicking (u wanna leave Athenas? Okay. You get your wish. You wanna be a Siren? Okay. Here's some powers. You wanna be a Vault Hunter? Okay. Here's the ship. Everything she yells about in the beginning of the game is handed to her just because um. Maya, I guess. She earns none of it herself). If, instead of it being Maya's powers, she got Tyreen's powers as one last "fuck you" to the Raiders, I think it'd make it feel a bit more like she's not just being handed everything she wants without working for any of it or learning a lesson because plot. Her character doesn't really change from the start of the story to the end, except that she's a bit sad that Maya died. It just feels so wrong. Idk. I think it'd be pretty cool if Ava accidentally hurt someone in the Raiders because she couldn't control her new powers so she could have that "oh shit" realization moment that a) being a Siren isn't all it's chalked up to be and b) she's gonna have to work to get her powers under control or risk hurting everyone around her. Her having that hurdle I think would have made a lot more people at the very least appreciate her as a character instead of calling for her death (yikes!)

Uh. Yeah. I have no idea what came over me to write this. I think Ava's biggest flaw to me is that she had Potential to be a good character but the writing fell flat under her. It started a story with her and then dropped it (like another character we know 🤔 his name rhymes with... boy), so she never really develops or learns beyond getting sad that Maya is gone. I don't hate her, but I can see why some people would, tho it's not really "her" fault, it's the writing, if that makes any sense.

Also, interesting note, I do consider Roland's death to be because Lilith ignored Angel's request and showed up, unlike Maya's. I don't think Jack would have shown up in control core Angel unless he thought there was very, very good reason to, and Lilith was Right There for the taking. He seemed to even plan that out, having the collar on him and everything, and Angel knew to warn them specifically because of that. Before that, Angel tells Jack that Maya is incapable of processing eridium like her (either due to ignorance or a desire to stop Maya from having a similar fate to her own) so Jack wouldn't have brought the collar for Maya. That said, it's fully Jack's fault Roland died and the blood is on his hands, I just don't think the situation would have played out the same without Lilith there.

Unlike that, I think the situation in the Vault of the Rampager would have happened regardless if Ava showed up or not. I always assumed the cutscene that happens when you 'leave' the Vault is actually what's happening while you're inside, and when the VHs walk out, Ava is alone.

If that's the case then Maya would have been alone when the twins showed up, and probably would have been done for like Lilith was, as Lilith is supposedly the More Powerful Siren. We'll never know for sure, but I get the feeling things would have played out pretty much the same. It's not like the twins showed up for Ava, they wanted the Rampager, and the Rampager was already dead when Ava made herself known. Maya's alone, against 2 cult leaders with no way of contacting the other VHs cuz they're in the Vault and Tannis is the only one who apparently can (since Maya does not have a freaky live action pop up ad, good for her) and echoing is a no go as it's established connection is awful down below the city. She can only Phaselock 1 person at a time, so she either Phaselocks Tyreen (if she even can) and gets dusted by Troy, or she Phaselocks Troy and gets her powers stolen (and probably killed or left to die by cultist) by Tyreen. No winning for her. It would have happened regardless if Ava was there or not, so people blaming Ava for Maya's death should probably just blame the finalized script.

I don't think it's right to blame either Lilith or Ava for their respective loved one's death. Like yeah Jack wouldn't have gotten that opportunity to kill Roland had Lilith not shown up, but Jack wasn't suddenly forced to pull the trigger because Lilith showed up. He did that all by himself. Similarly, Ava not showing up wouldn't have stopped the twins from attacking Maya. She just changed the topic of conversation a lil bit. And Ava has all the combat ability of thin air at this point, so her appearance or non-apperance made no difference whatsoever when it was Maya vs the twins.

Oh God I've been typing for like an hour BYE bed time for me