#i had a bad time in highschool
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
This is too fkn real
Brb going to wotc to get this card printed and included in every pre-con
Let's just say I had a bad experience at mtg today.
#i just got into an mtg group with a friend from college that i havent seen in years#but i dont know if theyre safe or not so my ass is staying quiet#talking bout that shush law#im on that dont ask dont tell shit#im lowering my voice more than normal and trying not to fall down the alt right pipeline#… again#i had a bad time in highschool#sadly these are the only people ive met who play and my island is the equivalent of canada#on tv where we are ideologically mostly living in the 90s#conservatism is normal af here#i wish i could find some pockets of queer mtg players in PR#magic the gathering#mtg#trans
21K notes
·
View notes
Text
needed to draw something this year for tomes bday...really wanted to draw her highschool friends
#anybody else get a lil choked up that she was able to find some girl friends and find connections with them... just me?#idk i think its so sweet how focused the spinoff was about this group of normal highschool girls... theyre not even espers or anything#my baby really has grown up!! <- reigen probably after offering her 300 yen an hour#i had to guess the hair colors for 3 of them cuz like well... theres no damn reigen spinoff ova yet...! they dont got official colors!!#wait hoshida doesnt have official colors either... he better be a brunet its canon to me at this point#also after reading the spinoff manga i realize i draw hoshida so small... hes a third year and is probably not nearly as short as i think..#my bad if ur a kid i just assume ur under 5'3 half the time... what a bad habit... ill draw him more taller next time lolo#my art#mp100#mob psycho 100#reigen spinoff#tome kurata#hoshida origo#wait their names...?? i only know keiko and misa... i think the fujos name is yume... i dont know the joke girls name!! sorry i cant tag...
369 notes
·
View notes
Text
Shin and his abandonment issue 😔
#it's not just the leg but it's also the abandonment that broke him just as bad#if not more 😔#if saint had stayed and apologized right after the incident i think shin would've forgiven him much sooner#and shin wouldn't hold this grudge for so long and be this bitter 😔#and now he's leaving him again! for the 3rd time!!!! 😭😭😭#if you love me you have to fight for us! not give up on me! 😭😭😭#somebody lock them in a room pls!#monday needs to come faster so my boys can kiss and make up 😩#saintshin#hsf#high school frenemy#highschool frenemy#highschoolfrenemy
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
for a looooong time now i’ve had this particular… thing? (i know it’s related to my psychosis/being schizospec bc. thats what my therapist says. but i don’t know what’s the right term..) everytime i wear headphones at night where i swear i can hear people i love talking badly about me but can’t quite make it out over the music but it completely disapears when i take them out. ive been dealing with it since middle school and it used to drive me fucking nuts but now it’s all just part of the music listening experience for me… hashtag i lov e music
#it still drives me nuts a little bit im ngl#i have a lot of. paranoia about people talking about me#whenever im living somewhere with. thin walls. i have to sleep with white noise/earplugs because if i hear anyone speaking but can’t quite#make it out i will stay up obsessively thinking its about me. its a bad habit and i dont want to eavesdrop but trust me i hate eavesdropping#i wish i could turn it off im just very paranoid#^ but the music ones are hallucinated to some level. i just also have paranoia related to overhearing things#i don’t. usually hallucinate these days at least not. strongly#i haven’t had a full hallucination since.. highschool? but at times there are. bits of ones but its mainly paranoia
75 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think it would be really funny if rin was the more helpful one around his house. Like u would think rin would be the disrespectful one who always bails on housework or mass but its actually yukio who would always have an excuse not to go or forget about chores to the point that rin just does them instinctively now
#this post lagged my phone so bad i had to save it as a draft and switch it to my computer#god is trying to stop me from spreading my 'yukio is an atheist' ideals#anyway this extends to when they live together and when they are adults to the point that rin comes over and does all the chores for yukio#cuz this created an oroboros since rin always did them as a kid now yukio doesnt have them in his brain#he tries his best tho he would neveradmit (at least in highschool) that hes kind of a boyfailure at housework#rin is a homemaker this is my truth#rin is like kinda resentful but not enough to act on it and its so deep down he doesnt even realize its there#like yeah its kinda fucked up that he would ask yukio for help setting things up for mass or doing the laundry but yukio has a busy scedule#and hes wayy smarter than rin so obviously he shouldnt waste his time on stuff like that but rin would never voice those in a negative way#rin doesnt hate helping his brother tho if yukio asked him to come over and clean his house everyday forever he would probably do it#its just the principal of yukio being a perfect angel and rin not getting any credit cuz hes doing 'thankless jobs'#and yukio kinda feels bad even tho he really did have things to do he just couldnt tell rin cuz it was exorcist work#im just writing fanfiction now#accept my okumura twin fanfiction headcanons#blue exorcist#ao no exorcist#yukio okumura#rin okumura#'blue exorcist' 'ao no exorcist' yukio okumura' 'rin okumura' are my most used tags on tumblr#am i in your hearts yet blue exorcist tumbr?🥺
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
#this is a joke poll#but also i genuine question i asked myself in the shower today#i feel like i got an early start on the whole. horrid terrifying mental state thing#and then i was able to pull myself out of it pretty early too#(based on what other people said. i had gotten out of the worst of it by the time most people like. Start the Bad Years)#(broad generalization)#and then highschool was spent trying to move on from it. but like i didn’t Really move on i was just ignoring it#and pretending it never happened?#and now i’m like. man i didn’t plan this far#and i think i might feel this way for a long time#idk life is full of uncertainties and i think it’s ultimately useless to try and plan it all out#let’s get through this#alright deeply personal post OVER
211 notes
·
View notes
Text
i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand
#me when im the only person on the bus wearing a mask: i should make a furry plaguesona#its hard to explain bc. most of the time i try NOT to give my characters a 'strong' theme like making their whole design around#one thing like apples or even broad stuff like baking or cottagecore.. idk if its partly for flexibility or because i cant imagine them#making it their whole personality. not bc i find it cringe or overblown but more like ive learned to associate design with character depth#i had a cutesy uwu persona for most of highschool because i thought it would make me more. likeable? easy to remember? since#memorable character designs are easy to recognize. and one way of doing that is simplifying it with a theme or symbol so you form an#association. but since im a real person its exhausting keeping up that appearance all the time and denying myself things when they dont#fit my 'aesthetic' or 'theme.' i think ive grown past that bc i just collect stuff because i think it looks cool and dont let myself dwell#on how it might 'fit' with my image. but i cant help feeling bad doing it to my own characters bc it feels like im making them too one#dimensional. despite knowing that theyre not real and design alone doesnt reflect depth i cant help feeling like its wrong#despite that i love seeing motifs because it feels like it reflects the characters soul and paradoxically gives them depth. it makes them#interesting to look at too and honestly its pretty fun combining things that fall under a similar category when designing#i struggle find a balance between those two things#actually this reminds me of noelles christmas theme.. i dont remember her saying anything abt liking christmas despite a lot of#her design and character tying back to it. it makes me wonder if she would have feelings about that or doesnt think abt it too hard#or if its like a matching family shirts situation and shes just going along with it??#maybe i should just do whatever i want with my character designs since theyre not real and im thinking abt it too hard#although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh#yapping#oc talk#oc
106 notes
·
View notes
Text
i desire a new winter coat but the idea of shopping for one fills me with sadness. it’s snowing in an icky wet way but thanksgiving cactus!
#mayo blogs#i have three winter coats but one of them is a hand me down from my mom one i inherited from my grandma#and the other i’ve had since highschool and is missing some buttons#oh and i have a ski jacket but i’ve also had that since high school#i want a victorian looking coat so bad but i spent a lot of time looking for one last year and didn’t find any i thought would be good#grrrrr
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
i do wish i was better at communicating with people online and through technology. i wander into conversations and make new ones all the time irl with random people and its fun but im like hyping myself to type out a single response to a Post. and to say nothing of how difficult it is to get me to say something in a discord server
#or even video or audio calls are becoming hard for me rn. i used to be better at this#i used to be sooo good at talking to people online. maybe. or maybe not actually#now that i think about it ive always been a little outside of everything in both irl and online communities ive been in#you know i was part of the mods for a deviantart species a long time ago. i was pretty bad at my job i was always too slow to actually mod#and one day i came home from school and like the entire modbase imploded because of drama on a discord or smth they had that i wasnt in LOL#tbh i was a bit older than all of them and busy with final year of highschool stuff so i wasnt super present. i think they just had me on#because while i wasnt particularly popular as an artist i did have some eyecatching polish on my art. but it was wild i was like#whats going on. who are you people. where am i. i have to apply to ouac rn i dont know whats happening#wait random ass deviantart drama i was vaguely adjacent to but still dont really know what happened aside. i would like to chat more#i think the easiest way to converse with me is commenting on my posts like theyre forum threads. or dming me. sometimes#im so bad with group chats. especially if they have multiple channels. the only group chat ive stuck with is a tiny one with like#two other friends and we just write thoughts and about our day and pictures of animals and whatever#i get confused and scared in discords. i get so confused and scared#i used to be okay with discord calls but even with that ive been struggling. am i scared of the computer#am i scared of the computer. the machine. whats happening
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey wow A dollar just appeared in my hand and it’s a real one too How Convenient and awesome
#ALRIGHT it’s about time I Talk About Dem#so uh#hrm. hm#chris wyatt and trent chambers are two FICTIONAL nineteen year olds who committed suicide together after murdering their highschool bullies#trent had cotards syndrome and was objectum to his gun ghostfire who he cherished & believed she’d like.take him to heaven.his saving grace#chris took a lot of anger out on himself and had dermatophagia..he got called sissy chrissy😢sissied chrissies#trent lived with his junkie mom and spent a lot of time at chris’s house.regularly hit on chris’s mom. made things uncomfortable at dinner#they threw stones at birds and stray alley cats together & bullied little kids on their block they were dicks#they had made a suicide pact at i think 15??maybe.i think. probably.#chris ended up backing out at the last moment though like the literalday of the murder which resulted in trent having to shoot chris himsel#theyresupposed to be kind of edgelord type guys and are partially satire#i do have to specify THEY AREN’T IN ANY WAY TCC OCS..i cannoteven express to you how much i despise the tcc#they’re just morally bad irredeemable characters that doesn’t mean they’re school shooters or nazis or someshit#ok whatever#lalalala#Hey Hold on this isn’t a real dollar#answering asks#chapstick#trent chambers#chris wyatt#rambles#grambles
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm only halfway though Hbomberguy's new video and I dont know if this is a universal experience but my main horrified takeaway from hbomb's plagiarism video so far is that one of my highschools TAUGHT AN ENTIRE CLASS OF 13 YEAR OLDS TO PLAGIARISE. LIKE, ON PURPOSE.
I ended up moving to a much better highschool, but my first highschool essentially taught us to "write" essays by reading what someone else had written and then write what they said again but putting it "into your own words". Which in practice was teaching us to change, for example, "the works of Shakespeare were regarded by many as the first popular art form" to "Shakespeare's plays have been said by some to be the first example of popular media". One teacher actually told us that the process of writing an essay was "saying what the people you've researched have said, in a way where it sounds like you said it".
Like. The tactics that actual plagiarists use to hide the fact that they were stealing. An actual teacher tried to teach me to do that.
#hbomberguy#im so glad i left that school early the next year. it definitely would have gotten worse.#i literally didnt learn what a bibliography was until grade 9 because of how shit my first highschool was.#at the same time if a student wrote a paper that was 'too good' even if it was orginal theyd accuse them of stealing without proof#like i wrote a completely original paper and got the note 'this is very good - did you write it all yourself?'#fuck you man. yes i did. despite you trying to teach me to do the opposite#they accused me of getting my parents to write it for me. i had to show them everything i researched and my dad lost it at them#this was also the same school where they took every kid with a disability out of maths regardless of if they were good at maths or not#and taught them shapes like they were fucking three years old#i remember hanging out in the maths with all the other autistic kids and prentending to have never seen a triangle before for a joke#and while thats really bad and abelist. the non-disabled kids were still being taught addition and division like they were 8 and not 12#the whole thing was a massive fuck up shit fest. it took the year 7 maths teacher leaving for us to all get the same maths class#and we STILL werent being taught to an age appropriate level because we missed so much grade 7 maths it had to be caught up in grade 8#i would burn it down but its not a highschool anymore lol
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
if you've seen me post this already no you did naut anyways human elias
#ok i posted this yesterday then deleted it cause it looked kind of bad#i fixed it and its cuter now👍#not going in the tags this time#backstory time he was basically a cartoonishly evil jock but people just went along w it cause he was hot and had a celebrity mom#kind of guy to take highschool football way too fucking seriously. WAY TOO SERIOUSLY#ough his eyes look so weird here. whatever back to teen show antagonist backstory#idk i feel like he was just a nightmare to be around. whats worse than a tiktoker. a tiktoker quarterback whos obscenely rich and cant face#any consequences cause his dad funded the school#he got normaler after he graduated but got murdered less than a year after. sorry. at least he gets to finally murder people when hes undea#i feel like 90% of what was wrong with him as a teen was because he wasnt allowed to kill people during football matches but rest assured#he def tried#the way i draw him i feel it gives more cheerleader but his dex is way too low. maybe he was in his freshman year then jumped to 6#*6.3 when he was like 16 and got forced into the football team#hes 6.4 when he dies at 19#word dump OVER. maybe i should fix my toyhouse#/elias#scarabocchi
52 notes
·
View notes
Text
Anyone out there got a solution for when you're feeling really stuck with your art and everyone and their mother tells you the solution is to do studies and figure drawings and other such things but even just thinking about doing those things makes you Spiral and want to Kill Yourself?
#monster noises#it's 1am no one will see this it's fine#it's a genuine problem though i Wish i could be aotherfucker who found it engaging and satisfying to do figure drawing#but i both A) had some bad experiences with this type of learning in highschool that i guess kinda make them triggering for me i guess?#and B) my brain doesn't seem to be able to like.. Learn Things.... That Way.... or at least not Obviously#i mean obviously i've improved as an artist over time in general#and i won't lie and say i've Never done figure drawing or studies or anything#but i never leave those situations feeling like i've Learned anything#mostly i've just sat for several hours growing increasinglyore frustrated#at my limitations and inability to achieve what i feel should come to me intuatively#and even if i Did feel like i've learned something i can seemingly never turn around and then apply it to something else#my brain does not make those lateral connections#it's why i can't do word problems in math.#and plus i also find stuff like figure drawing especially Rarely helps me make progress on the parts of my work i Actually want to improve#fluidity/mobility/stylization and surrealism#and only reinforces practices i want to pull away from#realism/'correctness'#all this combined leaves me just kinda stuck because i really can't power through my fear of these practicing methods#because i also don't find them useful#but i have no alternatives because it's like.. the only thing anyone suggests because theoretically is Does Work#but just not when you're Specifically Busted like I'm Busted#and so I just continue to stagnate until idk.. i find something else that can abruptly and suddenly launch me forward again?.#augh.. being an artist is The Most Enjoyable (_=<=)_
12 notes
·
View notes
Note
Allow me to commiserate about the cringey ten year old Prussia obsession. I bought an actual iron cross from a flea market and I loved the thing, my Mother never let me wear it anywhere, thankfully ad when I was like seventeen and (grownup) I threw it like a skipping stone into my towns lake out of embarrassment on multiple levels hgjfkdsa The Prussia obsession never left tho and I after then event read like four books about Prussian history and Teutonic knight history and military warfare and Prussian army victories. Now he's just my baby girl xD
I gotta stop outing myself like this. Should I stop putting my every single thought into tags? Yes. But anyways Prussia simps just the same everywhere aren’t we or2
I was thinking of outing my DA name since you told me your embarassing moment but it still physically hurts me too much to write it out so I will just say that it included the German word for Prussia but I had no idea how to make the fancy B lookin letter they had so it was just a regular B 😭😭😭
#this time i’m really gonna do it#WAIT I THINK I STILL HAVE MINE#IN MY DESK#OH FUCK#I STILL HAD IT IN HIGHSCHOOL BUT I ATTACHED IT TO MY WALLET 😭#my wallet also had a chain hanging from it that I clipped to my pants to look hard but that’s a different kind of cringe#we’re not discussing my teenage fashion choices rn#Yeah What The FUCK Were We THINKING.#WHAT THE FUCK HIMA#had middle schoolers everywhere wearing n*zi propaganda!!!!!#the four books of actual Prussian history is how you know you’re down bad list#mfer had you goin thru his yearbook photos like pick yourself UP 😭#HAVE SOME DIGNITY 😭😭😭
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
one of my favorite senarios to imagine to put yukio in is sending him 10 years into the future (with the exwires usually) and everyone from their class are like chill adults including himself working their boring ass exorcist job and hes trying to assert dominance over them as the teacher™ but they're all like bro why so serious?
#somehow in my future au i accidently made only the boys active exorcists im so sorry to all the women in aoex#they all passed but i think shiemi and izumo would leave to persue other passions but still be in ajacent fields#like shiemi still runs her exorcist shop#idk what izumo does maybe she still is an exorcist but shes on leave trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life#cuz so much of her adolescence was focused vengence for her family i think she would be kinda lost as an adult#ive said this a bunch of times but rin isnt actually an exorcist for the same reason izumo isnt#ive been kinda muddy on my own timeline but either he passed and left or he dropped out of school and ran away#i think hes like an independent demon slayer like a contract worker#so he still is basically an exorcist but not sanctioned by the vatican like as part of a mercenary guild or something#but he can still take exorcist missions if he wants to but usually its not worth it so he just helps out yukio or bon on their missions#i think after being a literal terrorist yukio got demoted and lost his license for a bit so hes still the same rank as he is now#but now hes medicated and he went to therapy#he has like no memory of highschool to almost a concerning degree and hes generally pretty muted but is still well liked#bon had a completely normal exorcist experience against all odds actually so did koneko except koneko went back to the myoda#and then shima got scouted for his amazing spy skills and works overseas#sorry shima ur not allowed to be an idol that might be the trigger for the bad end#anyway i think teen yukio would hate adult yukio because he thinks hes not allowed to be normal and happy#this is like the 4th time ive made this post like i said its one of my favorites#the reverse is rin going to the past and like tutoring the exorcist class#nobody wants to do yukio psychoanalysis but me so i gotta step up to the plate#jk theres a lot of good yukio fanfics#blue exorcist#ao no exorcist#yukio okumura#rin okumura
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
Not to sound like a sore loser but I feel art doesn’t always need to improve or have steady permanent growth. Especially if you are a hobbyist and have no desire to pursue it professionally. It can be more satisfying to constantly be improving but. To be fair. Sometimes you are at a level where you are fine where you at. You have the skills to draw what you want. And sometimes there’s no more drive than that. Or sometimes a lack of growth is because you don’t have time to put love into your hobby because you gotta pay bills. Or hell even disability’s both physical and mental can be a huge road block to get growth that some would say is required with the amount of time you put in it. Anyways yeah. Sorry.
#this is more for myself and the constant guilt I feel#but also my hands hurt all the time. my body will hurt all the time.#and if I constantly choose to draw instead of putting effort into my social life I would kill myself#like. emotionally I would not be well#anyways.#I keep seeing stuff and with my personal art journey I feel I’m actually doing worse than I was as a teenager#I think I have actually declined in quality. my sketches and anatomy may be better but I can’t do more than a sketch#and the time to actually finish a peice is way more than as a teen finishing a peice#a part of this. was because my health problems weren’t as bad and also I had no job#but now. it’s. no good.#and I keep seeing posts and discourse going ‘omg the person hasn’t improved in years lolll’ and that just. makes me feel ínstense guilt#which is shouldn’t!! art isn’t my job. I don’t need to worry about it.#but also it does bother me my art is stagnant#And also o haven’t really done more than like three finished peices a year Vs when I was in highschool trying to get into art school. I had-#-done over 100 finished pieces in like two years and some of it was way better than the stuff I do now#the thing vents#sowwy I have guilt and issues with this
7 notes
·
View notes