#i guess youll find out in this comic im working on

[nano30cm]

im sure they all get along swimmingly

[atlaskrr]

Comics that resonate with me in an unexplainable way - a rec list

☆ amount represents how much is resonated with me (aka how obsessed i became or how deep i loved) which is a personal thing not a quality thing.

sorted by sections below ⬇️

Manga

Zeikin de katta hon☆☆☆ - delinquent wants to use library. OH NO! he needs to return a book he lost when he was child. welp. reimbursement time. he does (while embarrassed) and ends up working in the library in the process and growing as a person. messages relate to the books and library practices in the chapter.

pos: AUGHHHH. comforting, imformativs, beautiful messages, well-written characters that each carry a message, and makes you fall in love with libraries and books (you will appreciate librarians 10x more)

neg: some charas can feel exagerated and some jokes are repeated one too many times

Magmell shinkai suizokukan☆☆☆ - i wanna work in an aquarium! a well renowned first ever deep sea aquarium! and i am. just as a janitor. but its ok since i get to watch and learn about all these wonderful creatures. i hope people see how beautiful they are too. each chapter carries a message tied to the creature it covers.

pos: GOD DAMN the art is beautiful. informative on the deep sea, well written characters and their psychology, nice mystery build up along the slice of life, you will be enraptured by the "ugly" deep sea. will make you believe in yourself and your dreams and that you can always grow and improve

neg: some scenarios of the world dont make sense with how the creatures would usually behave, weird age gap side-story (did not happen and was handled responsibly but still)

Butai ni sake☆☆ - they said i sounded scary. what if everyone will misinterpret me again? im at a new school for hs. i got this. how can i learn to be more, less scary? wait what club is showcasing right now? the... threatre club? maybe thats the answer. chapters show the club preparing for plays!

pos: RELATABLE AF characters. the messages are strong throughout and all the showcase of what goes on in a theatre club is very accurate. it makes you fall in love with the art and if youre already a theatre kid like me, i think youll be impressed and find it relatable.

neg: besides the main 2 characters, side characters can feel underdeveloped. ESPECIALLY one of them. the ending is very open-ended on the romance that they kept on implying (though it mightve just been bait)

Yokai gakkou no sensei hajimemashita☆☆ - imagine the most pathetic man you can muster. now make him 100x more wimpy to the point hes hussled by kindergardners. thats the mc of yohaji abe haruaki! he became a shut-in after trying to teach at a school and getting scared away by delinquents. but wait! a family friend has let him work at a school. with its own island?! wow this is an amazing oppurtuni- ITS A SCHOOL FOR YOKAI?! starts out as comedy but plot and characters develop along the way

pos: AMAZING characters, well developed relationships, great development throughout the story overall, fun yokai trivia, and well incorparated comedy. also. GAY. like- well written abd casually. pretty art btw.

neg: humour can be repetitive and too questionable for some. lowk the mangakas kinks are slipping through into it 💀 the timeline of one year feels like its streching on for ATLEAST 2 with the amount of shit that happens. once again, lots of questionable things. like time travel age gap. or just age gap ship bait. or just the mc. he gets a pass tho.

Manwha

The makeup remover☆☆☆ - i am ugly. but im ok with that, i mean im just a photography student. but i guess i could try more... how does everybody just become beautiful? how do they learn? OMG HE FUCKED UP MY MAKEUP. wait whos this new random dude. and why is he asking me to be his model for a makeup competiton??? the story follows this duo in the makeup competition.

pos: AMAZING STORY. AMAZING MESSAGES. each character FEELS like a message. they're well written. it feels realistic. the makeup looks SO CREATIVE. the relationships between characters are developed well and the diverse cast of backgrounds allow for good subplots that make you CARE and think about the messages they carry as they resonate in your soul. it shows both the good and bad of makeup. realistic. truly.

neg: very vauge open ending on relationship front as they kept teasing multiple relationships and it just- no payoff. spme character backgrounds were not explored enough.

Sambong barbershop☆☆ - theres a virus spreading around to ugly people when they break. im scared ill be next. but then a cat steaps her watch, she follows it to a barbershop and- is that a humanoid cat?! smoking a cig?????? oh and a majestic dude who cut hair with gigantic scissors. blablabla she ends up working at a barbershop. sambong barbershop. it shows how one can grow as a person yet stay the same as the mc works at the barbershop.

pos: good message, complex charas (they can be assholely but theyre human), cool action scenes and fantasy elements, very realistic as, well youll see how the development goes if you read this comic.

neg: artstyle takes a while to grow on you and ending was- random. and ambig. also, because its very realistic it guves a more harsh vibe to the message rather than positivity (not a full downside tho). also the world-building is very unclear and vauge.

Surviving romance☆☆☆ - ive been isekaid into my favourite romance novel. ahh this is the life, ill get my happily ever after, who cares about those faceless extras. lalalala- ZOMBIE OUTBREAK??? I DIE?! wait. im. alive again. at the beginning of that day. WHATS GOING ON??? the story follows how she'll survive this nightmare by getting to know unknown extras she has never cared for along the way.

pos: AMAZING development throughout the story as always by lee yone. characters and relationships grow very well and the mystery us very well developed and hints are rlly good! as hidden yet visible as they need to be. the pacing was good and the artstyle is very charming. the visuals are also used very cleverly and creatively. you can even see hints in the first few scenes! also, friendship! and a good, hopeful message for anyone struggling.

neg: ending can feel very luck based. also very open-ended (personally part of the charm tho). also questionable age losgistics and some might not like the character attitude switch ups.

Peace restaurant☆ - the dimensions have all collapsed together, right in seoul. naturally, theres war over land. but one safe haven owned by a mysteriously strong and feared lady, is peace restaurant. the newly awakened demon king is ready to fly there and when he does- be gets beat up. and not by the warrior there- BUT BY THE LADY???? the story follows the growing mystery behind the mc and the "fight" agaisnt people who oppose her restaurant.

pos: love the mystery and found fam. fun exaggerated characters yet also clearly more depth hiding beneath that. love through cooking. comedy that grows plot my fav genre fr. also, very cool dishes and world. also good character and relationship development for one chara. also, HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS!

neg: other characters could be more well developed and complex. change can feel too fast suddenly accepted by the mc. the current arc (chap 26ish i think?) is dragging FAR longer than it needs to. could benefit from more realistic characters (though its probably a writing choice for the tone of the story)

Webtoon

Cursed princess club☆☆ - gwendolyn is beautiful, just like the rest of her siblings, everyone in her life thinks so. though her life in inside the palace due to her overorotective father. but when she and her sisters are set to get engaged to the plaid princes and her fiance calls her UGLY. her world shatters as she realizes hes right. she runs into the forest as she cries and WHATS THAT. she passes out and wakes up in a mansion with princesses having a tea party outside. huh. so this isnt a haunted forest? WAIT WHATS WITH THE LONG NOSE? AND HOLLOW EYES?? AND- LOBSTER HANDS???? she has just stumbled upon the cursed princess club. the story shows a journey of self improvement and self love.

pos: WAAAA I ACTUALLY CRIED AT THE ENDING. very well written characters that develop over time, creative curses and good foreshadowing. the subversion of tropes is PEAK. it has good callbacks, parallels, analogies, etc.

neg: i feel like many characters can be explored more, worldbuilding unclear, and cam often times focys on romance more than id like. humour is very often misplaced such as in serious scenes when they should be before or after the peak of tension instead of well- at the peak. some relationships and feelings feel- random? and also bad people are way too easily forgiven. i feel like there needs to be a line to the positive messaging on that front.

Maho shonen☆ - ahh magical girls. teenage girls with superpowers. ah! 2 guide are descending and- TWO FULLY GROWN MEN?! and the gaurdians are, well.... they're certainly not cutesy, on the inside at least. and the grown men? they're just plain horrid at their job. the only thing they gain from all this, is trauma! not like they're already stocked up on it. oh, and each other of course! the story shows how the two will get through this whole ordeal as well as their daily life.

pos: the story WILL grow on you. cool art, good trope subversions esp in the price of being a magical girl. explores the psychology of it all and has well written characters that deal with realistic issues. also very nice duo dynamic.

neg: the humour may not suit everyone as it can be a bit more mature. it does take a few eps to get good and grow on you.

Our walk home☆ - two academic rivals.... wait, why aren't they acting like rivals at all? they're even getting along? and finding things in common?! they're letting the masks slip. but their rivaling schools won't be happy to hear about this from their top students. afterall, no one from the two schools are allowed to be friends. the story shows how these two mask-wearing academic achievers get through life together. and maybe, just maybe, fall in love.

pos: VERY good exploration of identity and self-worth and VERY relatable. the characters are very well written and have simple yet recognizable designs, a cute dynamic between the mcs.

neg: honestly, i don't know. it just didn't attach to my soul. probably secondary character relationships could be further expanded on.

The bathroom ghost☆☆ - ghost are scary. but this ghost, is just REALLY BAD AT HER JOB! what's a ghost to do when she can't scare? and is stuck in a mall bathroom of all places? worse yet, the managers keep badgering her about it! this follows her hijinks.

pos: the COOLEST artstyle I've seen in a comic with a very fitting and unique feel. cool character design, simple, yet entertaining, comedy, great use of body language, hidden plot developing. mc is very endearing and so are the rest of the characters. it's just so feel-good and heartwarming.

neg: takes a few episodes to move on from episodic if you dislike that. honestly, i just need more. that's my only complaint. GIVE ME MORE VOLPEE

[pivsketch]

i forgot how to draw greg lowell. it took me several days to work out all the wrong ways to draw him until i figured out the least worst way. downside of only doing rough lil sketches is not being able to use my own dang drawings as reference. here is example of Bad Drawing next to Good Drawing. i'll spare you further ramblings, unless you want to see them, which youll find them under the cut

last time i drew him with lumpy hair? which i think was intended to be curls? i do not draw enough curly hair to halfass it properly. it is a massive deficit i want to work on, hence, the desire to at least wavy this basic man's hair. a lot of waffling was done trying to figure out 1) how to draw the curly and 2) how to make it short, but i managed it. i guess. im content with this amount of hair wigglys for lowell. after i designed 4 guys for TAGCEN who have straight hair... well, you know. i gotta draw different hair, man.

lowell having light brown curly hair kinda just makes him the comical opposite of riggs who has black porcupine spines for hair, but. well. i didnt like lowell with darker hair, and hes a stressed out white guy who doesnt go outside enough and is going gray a little. whaddya gonna do about that, i guess.

santiago has long tight wavy hair, so if i want to tackle that i can buckle down and draw her. i do want/need to draw some 3A type hair and beyond, but i'd need to make a new oc about it. or draw some real people, theres a couple of studies ive been meaning to do, but i just need to get a window of energy big enough to commit to the effort...

[kirazdaha]

HAHAHAHA Every Turk Family has one of those names and unironically mine does too 🫡 Tell your mother thank you she is a very lovely lady

I know all of the artists you listed below because my dad blasts them on the radio everytime we go out... I call it old people music but hey I never said it was bad, they're awesome and I might have memorised some of the artist's songs from how much I listen to them... Barış Manço is a classic without a doubt! Fun fact my parents were able to go to his concert and got a signed picture with him I will always envy how lucky they were 😭 I love how women in the industry made the most iconic songs I hear them often in weddings too! Or clubs, even though I only went to one once I'm not very fond of them...

My questions were do you have any tips or inspiration with how you draw! I love your art and artstyle and it's honestly what I've been trying to achieve for a while, I can't believe I'm learning how to draw men because of a silly lawyer show it's a disease...

(We are just having a conversation at this point) (I feel like those people who speak out loud in public) (I hope you and anyone who's reading this is having a good day :) be kind to yourself and others everyone)

OH MY GOD i envy them too😭😭 also omg that sounds like heaven to me. the other day i went out partying and i felt sooo out of place because i only knew like 3 songs. omg it was so so bad.

hmmm tips and inspiration…. my number 1 tip would definitely be to look at a lot of other artists you like and analyze what exactly you like. and then try to emulate that in your own work. i try to look for inspiration everywhere - artists online, traditional artists, old masters, 3d artists, even theatre and poetry, etc. - doesnt mean that i am equally inspired by them all (because all these things at once sound so scary and big but they really arent!) but rather, i try to be open for anything and that helps me find inspiration :) 

ill try to explain my thoughts more under the cut because this got long:

for me for example, so far i only posted some art i made that was lined (which, i would say makes up maybe half of the art i draw - i mostly sketch and recently have been building up the courage to paint more) and one of my inspirations is meltow. i think if you go over and check out their art youll definitely see it lol. but also i love the clean look some comics have and my friends tell me my art looks like it belongs in a comic which, i guess yeah :) when it comes to colors and composition i LOVE this artists works. i still have a lot to learn and just looking at their works inspires me so much!!!

i will say i have ALWAYS struggled with lineart. its probably the worst thing in the world to me because it never feels right!!! i like lining on paper with harsh inks and stiff ink nibs that allow for like. very little variety in line weight, but i havent done that in over 3 years (i hope i can get back to that). but yes, something about lineart makes me feel so icky when i use any brush that reacts to the pressure you put on your tablet LOL i just hate it. ugh. i havent been able to work it out.

it was only in 2020 i think that i decided to try it out with a thick brush with some texture and no pen pressure. that probably was the first time i got actual lineart that (at the time) i liked done. and then later on, discovering that other artists are able to achieve beautiful drawings with similar brushes AND that lining with a very simple brush can feel so satisfying helped me evolve a lot! until 2022, i actually wasnt able to give my art the kind of finished look that i wanted. so what people consider my style is really just born out of my limits and working with them. that obviously doesnt mean that i dont try to challenge myself as much as i can. i do and i think everyone should! thats what makes art so fun

if theres any good advice i can give to a beginner itd probaaaaably be. okay this is difficult and i feel like im not really qualified for this. as a hobbyist much less so because a lot of the knowledge and skills i acquired was through an intuitive process (i could never stick with habits such as regular studies or warmups or whatever is meant to be good for you) which definitely isnt the most “productive” way but i mean it doesnt have to be. its just a hobby! you dont have to perfect art. but yes, i would definitely say dont stop drawing. youll always be your harshest critic and at the beginning, and especially if you begin at an older age because youve been training your eye your whole life but your drawing skills for only a relatively short time you will notice a lot of mistakes. and youll think you wont achieve the image you have in your head. and maybe you wont (because youll always strive for more and youll never really be satisfied as an artist bla bla) for a while. but you have to keep drawing! try out different strategies, find out how other artists draw, watch speedpaints, try out different papers and pencils, try everything that makes it more fun and keep going! it will all pay off!! 

in my eyes theres also no point in saying “i should wait till im better to draw this idea i have” because if inspiration strikes you you should use that. even though i still sometimes catch myself thinking like that. you can always redraw things later on!! if theres anything that will keep you drawing you should use that! like getting into shows and games that make me want to draw helps a ton LOL people are not joking when they say getting obsessed with one character is the quickest way to improve. i 100% agree!!! if you saw my first nachos you wouldnt even recognize him. not kidding wow this got long. thank you for the questions though!! i hope some of my rambling can help you. feel free to talk to me whenever!

[writing-for-me-at-this-point]

The Missing Guardian | Prologue: Act I Scene I | Mondstadt: The Outlander Who Caught The Wind

A.N. okay! so first chapter of a new series im starting! its a series rewrite of the genshin impact plot. i had always wanted to do one of these, and with my comic obsession, if you read marvel/dc comics youll find some crossovers hints. hope yall enjoy as i finally start to write and get on some type of schedule. its also one in the morning so imma head to bed :)

Word Count. 1,633 words

Page Count. 4.8 pages

Synopsis. When you’ve finally found a home in a set of twins who travel across worlds, setting out to enjoy your time with them; learning everything you could while traveling from world to world. But this time was different, because this time, someone stood in your way from continuing forward, from going home. You watched as your family was torn from you once again, leaving you stuck in a world alone with only a guide, the memories of a life long left behind, and the hope of finding them once again.

[ Series Masterlist: The Missing Guardian Mini Masterlist ]

[ Act I, Scene I ] [ next scene ]

Prologue Act I: Scene I | Monstadt: The Outlander Who Caught The Wind

                So, what you're trying to say is that you fell here? From another world?

                But, when you wanted to leave and go back to your world... Your path was blocked by some unknown God?

        You could only nod at Paimons commentary, watching as she floated next to you, a small hand to her chin as she looked deep in thought. Looking forward to the vast openness of the ocean in front of you, memories flashing before your own eyes as the pain settled in your heart, the wind slowly picking up before the tears filled your eyes. It hurt to think back at what happened, to how you lost them, the two people to found you after being lost for so long.

        That carmine red outlining the dark abyss shaped like a star would haunt you as a woman walked out, snowy white hair and the bandages around her legs flowing around her as her voice seemed to break through your skull, demanding your attention while the twins next to you could only look up in confusion. The anger in those golden eyes was enough to make you take a step back, you've never met her- Hell, you've never seen or heard of anyone like her, so why did she come at you with such ferocity? Even her mere presence contrasted with the ivory, baby blues, and gold of your surroundings, the heavenly area around you tainted with this... Unknown God.

        "Outlanders, your journey ends here." She demanded, the portals behind her sharpening with the wave of her hand. Lumine took a step forward, her shock evident in the small gasp she let out before speaking, determination and confusion spilled across her features.

        "Who are you?"

        "The sustainer of heavenly principles." She responds quickly, bringing a hand up to her line of vision with a small red and black cube in her hand, twirling it causing the ground beneath you to tremble, Aether looking between you and his sister. Shaking your head, you bent your knees ready to jump, the engines in your heavy boots started up, as your mask appeared on your face once again with only a light touch to the earpiece.

        "The arrogation of mankind ends now." The ground lit up around you, red and irritated with magic you haven't seen before, your boots shooting you into the air as Aether and Lumine jumped- following your lead as they pulled their golden swords and allowed their wings to manifest, holding themselves in the air.

        It was barely a second, before you moved forward with the twins by your side, your hands moving to the Quads in their holsters and taking them out for another fight. You only thanked whatever Gods in your own world were listening, and that damn mentor of yours, before your mind went back to the battle at hand- requiring you to fly around and dodge the large amounts of glistening red and gold cubes that came in your way, blocking you from the target of the Unknown God.

        Before you knew it, the end of this battle came quickly, an explosion from the mere speed of you, Lumine, and Aether stopping right before the Unknown God to attack.

        And that second was all she needed to do what was needed. 

        Her gaze fell upon you, making you shiver in fear, before you flew back and blasted a beam of energy at her from your Quad, only for it to be absorbed by a cluster of cubes. Your voice came out robotic, echoed with the technology that covered your face, you eyes moving to see the cluster of cubes enveloping the twins that were once beside you. 

        "Aether! Lumine!" They only looked at you in horror, fading once the cubes covered them whole, returning to the Unknown God in a hollowed and golden version of her twisted and unique weapon. She watched the rotating cube with wide, uncaring eyes, giving you enough time to circle around her and attack once more- throwing the handheld mines from your belt onto her form, the beeping accelerating once it met her skin, and an explosion following quickly. 

        By the time the smoke cleared, and before your mask could scan and gain some sense of recognition, the cubes that protected the Unknown God attached themselves to your outstretched hand, closing in on you while maintaining the explosion you caused. Eventually, it all settled into one cube that contained your hand, before you followed the same fate as the twins.

        "Wait! Don't go! Give them back!" You managed to scream, desperation in your voice, as you watched another family be taken from you once again, your vision fading into darkness and your heart breaking once again.

                And just like that, the god took away my friends.

                Some kind of seal was put on my being, and the power I had was gone.

                And while I had the freedom to travel the universe, worlds, and entirely new realms.

                I was now trapped.

        "How many years ago was it? I don't know, Paimon. But, I've gotta. I have to." You answered Paimons question, still looking out to the sea in front of you, mask now hidden into the earpiece that decorated your left lobe. The leather of your jacket warmed you from the cool breeze of the sea, the bodysuit underneath regulated your body temperature in any environment, but you specifically used it when in space when you held the title of Guardian. But you couldn't afford to think about that now.

        Not when there's a chance of finding Aether and Lumine. 

        "After I woke up, I was alone- until I met you two months ago." You finished, looking over to your floating friend, who only turned as she spoke.

        "Yeah. Paimon really owes you for that. Otherwise Paimon likely would have drowned... So, Paimon will do her best to be a great guide!" She smiles, hands on her hips while looking up to you, seeing as she always chose to float around chest-level when around you. You sighed, a weak chuckle escaped your lips before you sat up from the sand, brushing off the back of your cargo pants and looking towards your guide for this new world- patting her head and making sure to be careful of the crown that hovered above her.

        You had only hoped Paimon would do most of the talking for you anyways, due to Tevyat’s language being foreign even to your ears and tongue, a feat for a Guardian of your reputation. A decent understanding of the oral part of the language under your belt, you found reading to be easier, since it did look similar to some scripts back in your own world. Your thoughts were cut off as Paimon spoke up, calling for you to follow her as she sped ahead of you, following the path from out of the beach to the grassy area ahead of you.

        "Awe, the path ends here. I guess we'll just have to climb, huh?" You rolled your eyes, shaking your head while you started to heave yourself up the large rock, Paimon taking notice of this.

        "You mean I have to climb the rock, P, you just have to float." You laughed, reaching the top with a grunt before she whined about floating taking as much energy as walking or climbing. It wasn't bad, you've climbed a lot worse in even more horrid situations, but damn did that take a good breath from you. You'd have to work on rebuilding some of your stamina while traveling here, and possibly need to find some supplies to settle somewhere for a bit, maybe even collect whatever currency they had here.

        "Well, let's take the route we planned! We're off to... a Statue of The Seven!" She smiles with glee, before a questionable face appears as you both move forward, her head turning towards you as you attempt to take in much of the scenery and areas you could. Your heavy boots only crushed the poor underbrush and grass that came into contact with it, your belt that was filled with gadgets and such clinking with the sway of your hips- hitting the holsters.

        This world is beautiful...

        "Which of The Seven are you looking for exactly?" She asked, making you shrug your shoulders at her, hands up as you walked towards a nearby tree- picking up the strange orange fruits and packing them away before moving forward. They looked like some weird crossbreed of orange and pear, but, you hoped it would taste as good as it looked.

        "To be honest? Any of them. They should have some idea of what happened, but even then, The Seven are gods in this world- and from what I remember of gods... they aren't too sane to say the least." You said, reaching a small cliff side that overlooked a lake with a statue near the edge of the small island in the center of it. 

        "That's a Statue of The Seven!" She pointed in its direction as you gave her your full attention, your finger going to touch the back of your ear to signal that, mindful of the metal to not trigger the activation of your mask.

        "There are a few of these statues scattered across the land to show The Seven's protections over the world. Among the seven gods, this god controls the wind. Paimon's not sure whether the god your looking for is the Anemo God, but... Paimon'll take you to the Anemo God's place first, and there's a reason why~" She muses, giving you a small wink before turning around, allowing you to follow her down the path to the first Statue of The Seven.

        To the first step towards finding Aether and Lumine.

        Your journey has started.

[kekisu]

How did you learn to draw? I've been teaching myself recently but I get frustrated from comparing myself to everyone. You don't need to give any tips I just wanna ask if you have sort sort of advice to help

ohh i get that, i used to compare myself a lot when i was first starting to get semi-serious about art. idk if i can really help but i could try i guess.. im only almost 17 so i dont have the greatest amount of wisdom FMKDHMFGNJD BUT. YEAH

im technically "self-taught," but i consider that term to be kind of.. incorrect? i dont really like the term "self-taught artist" because its impossible to learn from yourself, you kind of have to look to other artists to learn and grow, even if its just by looking at cool pinterest inspiration boards instead of going to art school. where im going with this is that you should surround yourself with art that inspires you and speaks to you, even if you find yourself comparing your art to theirs at times

what ive done for a few years now is compile all my utmost favorite works of art from my favorite artists somewhere, like a google slide or doc etc, so i could look at their work if im having trouble brainstorming or feel unsatisfied with my art. like i look up to meruz a lot when it comes to my comics (specifically with panel layouts) and having their work as reference has really benefitted me!!!

(dont just Look at your inspirations art though, if that makes sense. try to look at it like youre dissecting it.. try to place yourself in that artists shoes and guide yourself through their thought process. why did they put that line there? how does this shadow affect the overall mood of the piece? things like that. this helps tremendously with learning anatomy especially!!!!)

its unfortunately really easy to let your doubts chain you down and keep you from experimenting and going outside of your comfort zone in fear that it wont turn out "good" - whatever "good art" actually is - but you should really try your best to avoid this. itll literally only put you in slumps and keep you from improving because youre doing everything you can to avoid making mistakes

hmmm im not sure if i have anything else to say..

basically. surround yourself with art that makes you feel emotion and try to dissect that art instead of simply looking at it, then try to apply those skills to your own pieces. dont avoid challenges, thats what helps you learn!!! dont get so stuck in your own head no matter how easy it may be!! stay positive, improvement wont happen overnight. your art is everchanging and youll never be a perfect artist but thats the beauty of it

[siren-virus]

ok, It's been a long while since I've sent an ask, and though that can be atributed to life being life, that can only go so far and these previeous 3 days I've been lazing around mostly XD So, in order to compensate, here's the asks for Free and SWUP that have entered my brain and I haven't filtered out yet that I'll send you. Answer as you see fit for I might send repeated questions or some that have already been aswered before in another form.

For SWUP, would SWUP (Does she have another name? I can't remember) ever try a work somewhere? She has to get money somehow if she wants to be able to buy food, clothes, a home, and pay for all the medical expences she might have to go through. What other friends would she have other than wine aunt and coffee barista? I remember you said there might be a third one who's not really relevant, but whos father is, and you were still unsure on wether to include them or not. Also, the humans in this Earth, how much do they know about aliens? The Unicorns and Dragons? I imagine that considering the amount of damage they can do when they fight, and considering that apparently their experiments on abducted humans that they leave on Earth for like a month before taking them forever, would make them fairly known, and have something like a world agency looking out for different cases or something, however succesful they actually are.

Now onto Free, Is there any chance that we could get to know of any of the friends that the rag-tag group would make along the way of the travels? Like, there HAS to be someone who they befriend without any shennanigans involved at the very least, or with minimal ammount of them, just as there HAS to be a friend made after a disaster of cataclismic proportions happens that inebitably onvolves the found family. Also, how long was Leo outside on his own before bird friend (forgot his name) found him and started to get them back to the Domes? Considering that they have a long adventure, I imagine that he spent at least a month outside without an idea of any direction he was going, and getting lost along the way because of course he gets lost, before he was found. Would the team find anyone else who was part of the Domes but left of their own volition too? Another traveler similar to Leo, but that doesn't want to return to those places for X or Y reason? Would there be anyone from the Domes that they meet that DIDN'T want to leave the Domes in the first place but got out regardless? This could be for whatever reason, from kidnapping to exhile to attack to the Dome to simply escaping from a bad situation.

oop sorry for taking a bit to get back to you,

youre questions make me realise how under developed my stories are wheeezee so i rlly appreciate your questions!!

SWUP aka Vicky her human alias. or I guess the unicorn is the alias. AH SHIT I DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THAT!! Originally when i made SWUP she was supposed to be in high school. But as i grow I also like my characters to grow with me. Maybe I'll get her a job as one of them gym buddies (it has to be a job that allows for some form of freedom, enough to like be able to do th vigialnte thing- (i forget the name) Medical expenses aren't too bad, I'm basing it off aus medical- which means medicare! Plus she doesn't need the hospital all that often, she can regenerate.

In terms of friends she doesn't have many not because she socially inept (like myself)- she was very popular in highschool, but there isn't many people she can relate to. Her best friend James (pending name) comic book nerd that loves super heroes is all she's got. And some gym bros, but they're just friends at the gym, outside complete strangers. I really do want James to be relevant to the plot and not his dad and daddy issues, but he's a bit hard to squeeze in. Maybe if I sat down to actually do some writing, maybe--- ALAS I am but a creature of laziness, and poor attention span. (im barely focusing on Flee atm and I rlly wanna try developing GECKO again fml)

Humans know little to nothing about aliens (excpet for like the government and so wackos who a really into scifi) So even though SWUP is doing her best to help ppl, she's seen as a horrifying villain that is stage one to an alien invasion. (the scifi wackos play a part in that.) Although most Police officers appreciate the help... most.

Suprisingly no, most humans who were mutated into unicorns almost seem to disappear, SWUP is an exception. Why is that hmmmmmmmm? this is kind of a big moment, if I ever plan to push this idea to the webcomic/animation stage, youll see.

There's not really an official .org agency or anything like that, but some wackos who love space, and an actual scientist or 2. So far they have deducted that unicorns are evil space creatures who prey on humans and consume their flesh to get stronger so they can lay eggs and take over the world. There's not a lot of truth to that. Some parts tho... but which part? At the moment I'm really into mystery- so maybe I'll add some mystery elements, or I'll give it to GECKO. first i gotta redesign Mac, poor lad is not a looker I'l tell you that.

FLEE I barely know their friends either- haven't gone about developing them. HOWEVER. I do have a villain in mind. I remember making him for my illustration class back in uni (sigh uni days...) I dom't have a name, but I have a face. He's a big leader of this village known for killing the hybrid/mutants. He and his crew, a rag-tag gun loving, truck driving, share-a-brain-cell, lot. How they've managed to become successful hunter bunch is unknown.

But one the friends I have developed enough is Bolt, who also comes with their own shennanigans and an old rusty bus. Techincally they don't need it because they're fast as fuck, but it helps to have around incase you get a goliath sand bobbit on your hands.

Tristian is the human, Leo is the bird friend. Actually Trisitian was out on his own for three days, he didn't cover much ground when he finally met Leo either- dumbass didn't bring enough food and water to last. He didn't even have a plan, just wanted to go out. The only reason Leo didn't send his ass running home was because something- or someone- pushed them far. far away. Oh my who could it be?

Tristians kind of a rarity, not many people leave the domes unless it's through underground passageways to other domes. Most people are blissfully unaware of the outside world. Not to say Tristians the only one who escaped, but he's the only one who's survived outside for so long. (dome people don't have any survival skills) The only reason Tristians gotten so far is dumb lucks and a hot headed bird friend.

[festeringfae]

I still haven’t fucking gone to sleep and its 2:30pm so at this point we are watching the movie that i hate so that the endorphins of being offended will keep me awake until like 5pm so i can just crash for the whole night and still wake up at a semi reasonable hour

so are the cartoonish fantasies of murder of people besides Honora actually verified real things they wrote oooooooor did this movie just want comic relief cgi....murder of a priest

honestly pardon me if this is a bigotry of some kind on my part but if you’re already so far gone in a morbid fantasy land that you have vivid daydreams of executing people, and you’re reunited with the one person you give a shit about after literal months, you are.....past the point of remembering not to kiss if you are gay. like if they were at all gay they would have kissed on the mouth here. as they FUCKING SAID, they aren’t gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay and i’m MAD this movie perpetuates that some murderers were gay who weren’t

i’m aware that i am truly-- whats that expression? about crackers? at a certain point a thing just becomes to the point where youll complain about the way they eat crackers, which is an objectively ridiculous complaint? yeah, i’m aware i’m at that point with this movie. maybe i shoul-- no, because like i said, if it wasn’t based on a true story i’d only be enjoying it ironically-- unless i assumed that like jackson’s previous work it was supposed to be a horror comedy, at which point honestly theres a whole other set of problems and im not sure if i would find it mysogenistic or not. Actually, that’s bullshit, because literally my shorthand for complaining about Heavenly Creatures prior to Ammonite was “Peter Jackson’s movies are like “if you are a man with close friendships you save the world, if you’re a woman with close friendships you become crazy, gay, and kill your mom”, so.

they kissed goodbye on the mouth because not only is this movie harmful to My People it also enjoys trolling me, the individual, specifically

honestly the fucked up thing is that if it wasn’t based on a true story and it wasn’t made in a time where there were no queer leads, this movie would actually be like? pro lesbian? honestly i think the whole thing might be okay if they were in fact romantically into each other but they HAVE. SAID. THEY. ARE. NOT. SO YOU’RE JUST. BLAMING LESBIANS. FOR A MURDER. NOT DONE BY LESBIANS.

Im guess ficticious Honora notices the kiss and thats when the homosexuality “diagnosis” crops up

not a movie critique but i am, as the movie probably wanted me to be, all “bitch she brought you FRUIT!” about honora giving juliet fruit

honestly how many nerd girls of all sexualities did this inflict satanic panic upon

it’s like....if the bronte’s didn’t also have the whatever worldbuilding syndrome the ableism already present in for certain types of neurodiverse girls and nerdy girls......not even just this movie but this trial....

pauline is telling juliet some boy is in love with her and im pre-emptively mad because either something explicitly gay will happen or the codependence will roar up and be all u can’t be with him hes not in our special little club and itll be so homoerotic that its the same impact,just  with a get out of accountability free card 

juliet no girl actually into boys notices when one is in love with her and i am speaking to the fictive juliet only 

i’m glad the like negative aspects of their close friendship are cropping up other than that they LOOK WEIRD and WRITE THINGS CONTEMPORARY BOYS PROBABLY DO ON MINECRAFT SERVERS DAILY and superficial shit like that. especially since we honestly still dont know all that much about their personalities or relationship to each other outside of their, for lack of a better phrase, special interest

(i guess i could look up the name of the sharing a world mental thingie but like listen i’m not a neurotypical i can call it a special interest without equating having one to........the hulmes/parker murder)

cutting the scene directly after the line “he’s only a stupid boy”, okay nobody gets ANY fucking benefit of the doubt anymore, that is so much gayer than any of the kisses on the mouth, that literally feels like. you took a big, traumatic part of lesbian culture and shared/collective lesbian trauma and you put it in the mouth of a fucking MURDERER who WAS! NOT! A! LES!BI! AN! so that your fucking MOVIE had more PATHOS or whatever and now Kate Winslet has a career and the audacity to not do any lesbian roles for 26 years and then stroll into ammonite like “whats up dykes! found this cool rock after i fell off the titanic! might fuck around and kiss jo march while i clean it up!”

wait, now that i’ve officially bannished plausible deniability of goodwill, can I stop recording my reactions? i feel like that’s what i was trying to keep track of, whether or not it’s fair to call this anti lesbian propaganda when i haven’t seen the full contents, but like now I’m Calling It, it Is Meant To Be Read Explicitly As Gay And Thus I Am Allowed To Be Mad At Kate Winslet and don’t have to keep analyzing whether or not I am. I will check back in if they get like formally “diagnosed” with homosexuality and the fictive versions of the real life people reject this in the movie but for now I’m praying that ceasing to take notes will make finishing the movie-- a thing I am now determined to do as a stupid endurance thing to prove to myself i can-- fucking faster. or maybe ill feel compelled to keep taking notes in 2 seconds, who fucking knows, BYE

[dadbodsarehot]

under cut for pkmn sw/sh spoilers. just some things ive been thinking about 

so like. as much as i LOVE leon and the gym leaders and the new gen in sw/sh and how people in the stadiums congratulate you after you win matches the story is like... so SEVERELY lacking. i feel like the stuff with rose just comes out of NOWHERE and like. is really confusing ?? like he wants to put the whole ass region in mortal danger just so they wont ?? run out of energy ?? but its not like at any point during the game it was mentioned that theyre actually running out of energy or in danger of it, at least not for at least a thousand years, not even HE mentions anything like that afaik, unless it was or he did and i just missed it somehow. but like. if that had been a plot point and an Important one, shouldnt they have ?? mentioned it ?? or made it so if they did mention it it wasnt something you could ?? miss ?? and it was really unclear whether or not oleana was manipulating him INTO doing this or if she was just one of his pawns, because the dynamic they had the whole game a la miss bellum and the mayor of townsville just SHIFTS right at the end for ?? no reason ?? and that whole scene where leon is supposed to meet you for dinner but he meets with the chairman instead and you have to find the key to the lift to go get him plays out like he was straight up KIDNAPPED and being TORTURED or something but like ?? the minute you both get there he finishes the weird conversation he was having with the chairman and just?? leaves with you of his own free will ?? so why in fucks name did we have to rush over and go get him like he was in some sort of danger ?? and the bede plotline was really weird too, like it would have been clever if the chairman disowned them and they started their own evil organization but then they just get ?? immediately taken in by opal ?? and i guess become the new ballonlea gym leader ?? even though thats a fairy gym and most of their original team was all psychic types ?? all because they ?? wear pink ?? and like after you hear the chairman “turned himself in” but like ?? what did they do to him ?? did he go to jail ?? does pokemon HAVE jail ?? team rocket didnt go to jail, archie and maxie didnt go to jail, i dont even think ghetsis or n went to jail, and they all did equivalent or MUCH WORSE things than rose! did they just fire him ?? so whos the chairman now ?? most of the important shit happened offscreen while people told you not to worry about it and just focus on your gym challenge and it didnt have the GRAND SCALE of being a HERO and saving the REGION that all the games before it did, and while were AT IT team yell being the “”evil”” team of this region doesnt really work AT ALL. like yeah, team skull was goofy and did stupid bullshit and were comic relief, BUT they also werent the ONLY villains in sumo/usum because they just werent threatening and didnt have lofty goals for the most part. thats why the aether foundation was in those games, to present a real turnabout late stage villain that posed an actual THREAT. i feel like they tried to replicate the pattern of team skull / aether foundation with team yell / rose, but since they have nothing to DO with each other and rose has no goals that make sense ANYWAY it just falls FLAT 

and thats the way i would describe the experience in general, as just FLAT as far as the story goes. it felt like a half finished paint-by-numbers of a pokemon game instead of a fully thought out title. none of the towns have anything to do in them besides beat the gyms and leave because thats where the focus is, on the gameplay and not on WHY youre playing the game to begin with, which is to immerse yourself in the fantasy of being in this world and being a HERO and having an ADVENTURE!! but i didnt feel like i was having an adventure, i felt like i was being led around by the nose like the game thought i was an idiot until it was time to easily decimate the next gym because all my pokemon were over leveled as HELL and i could easily sweep people even when they werent 

off topic but i also got bored of the camping system rather early, i think they should have combined it with some form of pokemon refresh so that you could still pet your pokemon and bond with them that way because i didnt camp for most of the game until the very end to get the bond with my pokemon more and get the full benefits of that. the curry minigame is repetitive and i feel like you need a premade GUIDE to be able to know what youre doing in it because youll never get beyond bronze class just fucking around 

all in all i really hope this isnt the direction they keep going in with this franchise because while there were definitely things i like and the game LOOKS amazing and the new gen is a lot more tolerable than i imagined, all in all it feels like a case of style over substance, and im sure somebody has said all this stuff before already but like. it just makes me really Sad. 

//rant over 

[penpalkingdom]

Hiiiiiii bbs my name is Luzcelly! Im 20 years old and from the suburbs of Chicago,Illinois (US). My bestfriend told me about this so it wouldnt hurt to give it a try right? Im honestly not sure how this works but id really like it give it a try to meet new people! I am hoping to find long term pen pals! I am willing to have more than one pen pal because go big or go home BAM 

Likes: music DEFINITELY MUSIC! Im into kpop,R&B, pop and spanish music! I am an animal person! Old cartoon comics are my thing (garfield,snoopy,little lulu, etc.) Mi tierra bonita, Mexico 

Dislikes: rude and very ignorant/closeminded people, certain foods tbh annnnnnnd im not sure what else buuut i guess youll figure em out as we connect! Haha!

I sorta want to keep my pen pals around my age just because itll be easier to relate! No intention on hurtin younger or older people! I still love yall I am lgbt+ friendly! I am bilingual, i speak english and spanish! Im hoping to meet some really cool people i can relate to or come to know 

Contacts: My email is: pizarluz000 @ gmail.com Instagram: pizarrolulu Twitter: pizarrolulu

Sidenote: I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON ❤️

[jenroseyokel]

Awesome of the Year 2018: The Books

Happy New Year! ‘Tis the season for year end lists left and right as we attempt to figure out the best of everything from 2018. And of course, as a fan of books, music, and movies, it’s only right to get in on the list-making. Over the next week or so, I’ll be sharing my 2018 favorite lists. First up: books! This year, I set my Goodreads reading challenge at 40 books, and actually passed it. I’ve been setting arbitrary book goals for years, but I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve succeeded since 2007. Probably because of all the graphic novels and comic trades I read this year WHICH TOTALLY COUNT BTW. Ahem. Anyway. This isn’t really a best of 2018 list so much as a Here’s a Bunch of Books I Really Liked in 2018 list, split up into categories. I hope you’ll find something interesting here, especially if you’re looking for ways to spend bookstore or Amazon gift cards you got for Christmas… ;)

Newish Books by Rad Christian Women:

Every Arbitrary Book Goal should have a small correlated goal attached. This year mine was to make sure I read at least 50% women authors… and there have been a lot of GREAT new books from women writers in the past few years. If the “Christian women” section of your local bookstore makes you cringe a little inside too, check out these three wonderful books, all released in the past couple years:

Courage, Dear Heart by Rebecca K. Reynolds (NavPress, 2018)

Anyone who has read Rebecca’s writing knows she needed to write a book. She has a sharp mind, a poet's soul, a scientist's eye, and the most beautiful, tender heart. Also, she's an incredible writer who loves her readers with a love that radiates off every page. Buy a copy for everyone you know.

Wearing God by Lauren F. Winner (HarperOne, 2017) Girl Meets God was a formative book in my early 20s, and I’ve always meant to read more from this author, but somehow haven't. I finally picked up this one and oh man, for a solid month afterward I couldn’t stop thinking about it. With the eye of a scholar and the heart of a poet, Winner draws on personal stories, deep Biblical study, and a love of language to explore lesser known metaphors for God. Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren (InterVarsity Press, 2016)

Several years ago, James K.A. Smith’s Desiring the Kingdom helped me see liturgy in a new way, as not just religious practice, but the embedded routines that shape us. In this book, Tish Warren brings that idea to life as she walks through an ordinary day explores the holiness in our most mundane moments of living. You may not look at brushing your teeth or losing your keys the same way again.

Good Stories

This year, fiction reading was… all over the place? I don’t know if I read much that was OMG amazing, but here are a few that were fun…

The Fairyland Series 2-5 by Catherynne M. Valente (Feiwel & Friends, 2012-2015)

I am notoriously awful at finishing book series. I read the first Fairyland book maybe… two years ago? Yikes. Just finished the last one and wow, so fun. Colorful characters, a whimsical narrator, crazy locations, and a whole lot of heart make this Victorian fairytale meets contemporary fantasy a delight to read. 

Til We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis (Harcourt, 1956)

Lewis’ contemporary retelling of the Cupid and Pschye myth through the eyes of Psyche’s jealous sister Orual. Second read for me, and even better this time around. Pretty sure this is Lewis’ storytelling at his best.

Strange Practice by Vivian Shaw (Orbit, 2017)

This was a year to embrace fun, nerdy reads. So there was the Star Trek spoof Redshirts (with a plot twist I totally saw coming... and I am not good at guessing plot twists) and my first trip into the Star Wars extended book universe (or whatever the heck they call it these days) and… this. A story about a doctor for the undead in London, trying to solve the mysteries surrounding a murderous cult and keep her monster friends safe. Not the greatest, but a fun Halloween read. I’ll get to the sequel eventually. (See also: bad at finishing book series.)

Poetry for Everyone 

Another new reading practice this year: always keeping a poetry book on the bedside table. Poetry books are best for leisurely dipping in and out rather than reading cover to cover. If you think poetry is only for the ivory towers, give these writers a try and think again.

A Child's Year by Christopher Yokel (Independent, 2018)

Okay, I’m biased here, but hey! Chris quietly released a new poetry book into the world this fall, and I’m a big fan of Chris AND his poems. A Child’s Year is a season cycle, sort of like his last book A Year in Weetamoo Woods, but this time it’s anchored by a four part poem recalling the journey of seasons through childhood eyes. And according to our friend Kirsten’s 7-year-old son, he gets the experience right. ;) 

The Jubilee by John Blase (Bright Coppers Press, 2017) For his 50th birthday, John Blase released his first poetry book, with a poem for every year of life. It’s rare for me to make it through an entire collection start to finish but these were just so good. There are poems about aging — the author’s and his parents’ — and poems that evoke wide spaces and natural wonder. There are psalms and parables, and meditations on dying and, yes, living. All of them finely tuned with wisdom, gentle grace, and a touch of humor in all the right places. How I Discovered Poetry by Marilyn Nelson (Dial Books, 2014)

When I heard Marilyn Nelson read her poem “Thirteen-Year-Old American Negro Girl” on the On Being podcast, I was captivated. And when I found this lovely hardcover in a used bookstore back home in Florida, I knew I needed to read more. This is a memoir in poetry about growing up in a black military family during the American Civil Rights era, told with gentle lyricism, warmth, and humor. Plus, the book itself is lovely with whimsical illustrations and family photos.

Comics!

I’m always on a quest to get more comics in my life. Plus knocking out a whole series in a couple weeks is a solid way to pad out your Arbitrary Book Goal.

Amulet 1-7 by Kazu Kibuishi (Graphix, 2008-2016)

After their father’s tragic death, Emily and Navin move with their mom to a strange old house that belonged to their great-grandfather… and so the adventure begins. In this fantasy series, the two kids find themselves in an underground world of demons, robots, talking animals, and a dangerous and powerful Amulet. A captivating and beautifully illustrated fantasy tale. Ms. Marvel 1-5 by G. Willow Wilson (Marvel, 2014-2016)

Y’all, I super want to be a Marvel nerd. But alas, I can't keep up, so I get my sister to loan books to me. Ms. Marvel is my new fave. A Pakistani-American girl from Jersey City has the power to grow, shrink, and stretch her body at will. So she’s trying to fight crime, keep up at school, and well, stay out of trouble with her parents. So fun. (Dear Disney: I really want this kid to show up in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. before it gets canceled kthxbye.)

The Legend of Wonder Woman by Ranae De Liz and Ray Dillon (DC Comics, 2016)

Weren’t we all mildly obsessed with Wonder Woman after the 2017 film? Another one I borrowed from my sister. A solid take on Diana’s origin story that’s accessible for comic n00bs (ahem, like me) who can’t figure out where to begin with beautiful art and a lot of heart.

The Classic I Finally Read 

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen I always try to tackle either a thick intimidating novel or an unread classic in the wintertime. This year, I worked on my Austen deficiency and discovered I relate a little too much to Elinor Dashwood.

What’s Next?

In the new year, I think my goal is less about numbers and more about reading widely. I liked the 50% women authors goal because it helped me actively choose to support women writers. This year, hoping to read more books by authors of color, explore some new ideas and genres, and hopefully do a better job reading deeply and taking notes. I’ve got my eye on Book Riot’s Read Harder Challenge too, perhaps as a way to dig into new things I wouldn’t normally notice. And yeah... perhaps a monthly reading life update is a thing I can do here on the blog. :)

If you’re curious to see the full list of What I Read This Year and follow along with me in 2019, feel free to follow me on Goodreads!

What were some of your favorite reads in 2018? And what are your goals for the new year? I’d love to hear all about it in the comments!

[irregulardiaryposts]

16:35 01/03/2021

so. its now march!!!!! march is an okay month. but it also means its been a year since corona really kicked off and thats proper weird to think about. it feels like absolutely fuck all has actually changed but yet im a very different person yk. i played minecraft for 10 hrs last week. im addicted to it. this time last year i was kinda sick and we thought i had corona but since testing wasnt really available i just had to stay home ages. it was horrible but to think that was a whole YEAR ago is absolutely fucking wild. 

anyway back to minecraft. i absolutely love it. its such a simple game and you can truly play however you want to. like. if u dont want to bother beating the enderdragon or doing any serious grind stuff, you can literally just fuck about doing whatever you wanna do... u wanna build a little cottage in the woods? yes. u wanna pick lowers and decorate and build cute farms? yes. u wanna explore a vast and expansive world filled with literally endless possibilities and find pets and loot and different biomes and blocks? yes. you wanna mess around with ur friends? yes. u wanna do pvp or multiplayer games? yes. u wanna meet new people? yes. u wanna play by yourself and become exceedingly rich? yes. u wanna do all this and comforted by the melodic tunes and beautiful landscapes? yesssssssss. it literally has something for everyone but people get so pissy about how others play its soooo annoying. like so what if someone wants to go into creative and cheat or they wanna play on peaceful or they have keep inventory on? they are playing the game in the way they enjoy the most, the way that makes them happiest, makes them comforted, allows then to enjoy playing it. coz i bet if everyone was made to play the exact same way and there was no way to customise your experience, it would not be nearly as popular as it is. it probs wouldve died out if people werent enjoying it because they got frustrated by it, or too scared to lose their things to progress in the game, or too anxious to play because its scary and they dont know how to beat things. or if people play solely in creative and they enjoy that the most and wanna try survival, they dont deserve to get made fun of coz they want to ease their way into harder things. or if someone just wants to build or just explore or just tame a million dogs, as long as they are happy they are already enjoying the game to the max, they dont deserve people being like “ if u play without X youll enjoy it more coz thats the way we play it” like fuck off it would be like if a hardcore players was like “play in hardcore or ur stupid” ppl would get mad because thats not the way they want to play it and they wouldnt enjoy it as much or at all as the hardcore player does. and dont even get me started on this whole bedrock vs java bs. this its such a waste of time like??? who benefit from this argument? because its silly java players think they are automatically better than every bedrock player because they have java. 

like obviouslyyyyyy java is better and im sure a lot of bedrock players would rather java, but u cant lie and say that a lot of og players didnt start on bedrock and then upgrade to java, because as kids u cant really afford a proper pc but everyone has an xbox or an ipad lol. like they literally forget that they probably started playing on bedrock too. and its so stupid because yes while bedrock is a little shit in comparison to java, ITS STILL THE SAME FUCKING GAME just be glad were not fucking fortnite players jesus its pathetic. yes this is essentially a minecraft post and what fucking about it. i told u im obsessed with it. 

i should talk about something else. perhaps my crippling procrastination? its absolutely abysmal how shit at school i am now. i get two unconditional offers and suddenly i think i dont need to do a single bit of work (its kinda true tho) i only have three classes and in doing 1 and 1/2 of them. im not even bothering studying for prelims/exams whatever the fuck because im hopeless. theres no point because even if i do end up doing the exam and i fail theres absolutely no consequences because i have 0 shame. ill walk out of an exam i failed with my head held high because i know uni will be so much better - ill only have one subject, one i actually enjoy and want to do work for (only somewhat tho, my procrastination problems still carry through, im actually doing this instead of a 15 min thing for class but whatever) ill have a reduced working day, i can focus on just one subject, ill have other things to work on too like a part time (scary) and car (exciting) and ill get to meet new people that also want to learn spanish and are interested in it too, and i want to make more friends and i want to be more independent (moving out??? hopefully but also scary) 

i cant believe im actually at a point in my life where im actually interested in the future and want to live to see it (lol yeah) like i wonder what 13 yo me would think. even 15 yo me. i wonder how 20 yo me will look back on this. hi me if ur reading. do u have a s/o?? or new friends? how many new experiences have u had? are u comfortable in ur life? struggling ? happy? i hope ur happy coz u deserve to be. i deserve to be. i hope u have a good time reading these. i dont know if ill ever forget about this blog or not. what was i talking about tho. procrastination. its horrible, I hope u get that fixed pls tell me u do. also please tell me u get better at typing.  this has accidently turned into a speaking to ur future self thing. ill stop now. 

im a very good procrastinator. and my ability to actually focus on stuff has been getting comical. idk if its the pandemics fault or mine or schools but is a bloody issue and it needs to get better. i guess its coz i just have absolutely 0 energy do do what i need to or it just absolutely does not interest me to do it and i know theres absolutely no consequences to it looool. 

every now and then theres a day where i feel very unproductive and lazy and it feels like how it used to. a sort of growing annoyance at myself and feeling like a slug. idk some days i feel teleported back to like almost 4 years ago and idk what to do about it. i used to have a coping mechanism (?) where if i felt bad about stuff id just shower, wash my hair and put on new pjs and do something i wanted to do. it kinda put me in a clearer headspace and allowed be to get out of a slump for like 20 mins. u could call it self care or whatever but it genuinely was like washing the bad thoughts away and starting anew (is that the word) like i was able to think more rationally and get back into the semi real world but i was also doing it because i never used to have a proper shower routine, i used to go days without showering or getting out of bed for much and it kinda feels good to have this little reboot thing where i just shower to get me away from straying back there. 

idk. am i articulating well enough. ive written a lot i think. is there any more updates? nothing really apart from my growing disinterest in all things school lmao. anyway until next time i suppose (will probs be either never or like june lol)