#i guess this is to say these guys were made for cringe compilations

[stalactites]

hoffman is a derek hale figure to me. this means nothing but i could see hoffman wearing a leather jacket with unbuttoned cuffs and doing a flip at a teenager party thinking he's hot shit. when he's not.

[hazbinhazmeinachokehold]

The hotel gang + overlord!reader part 2

Part one here

!Not beta read!

While it may just be the stress talking, the bed was surprisingly comfortable, for a hotel at least. Today was a lot. Even if this hotel seemed to be a net positive it was still a lot. So the comfortable bed made it seem like you already made it to heaven. As you sank into the bed you drifted off to sleep.

You awoke to a few loud and powerful knocks on your door. "Hello? If you're awake we are going to do some trust exercises!" Charlie called out. You unintentionally groaned as you got up.

"Give me a minute!" You replied.

"Okay." Charlie said as she left. When you got up you looked at yourself in the mirror. You weren't a mess by any means but you've definitely looked better. You freshen yourself up slightly before going downstairs.

The Hotel residents and staff were all in a circle. You sat down in one of the gaps in the circle. Charlie cleared her throat.

"Okay everybody let's go around in a circle and say our names first! I'm Charlie." She paused, "As you all know." Everyone else proceeded to say their name, which you already knew everyone's name. Excluding the short one-eyed girl, Niffty, and the girl with an x over one of her eyes, Vaggie. Then your turn came.

"Uh- Hi! My name is y/n" You cringed at the nervousness in your voice.

"Now I want everyone to tell a fact about themself. It doesn't have to be anything huge, just something to get to know each other." Charlie said, "I love musicals!" Yeah, that was pretty easy to guess.

Angel was next up. "I love sitting on big, HUGE-"

"Angel I fucking swear." Husk cut him off.

"Comfortable chairs! What were you thinking?" Angel had a smug smile plastered on his face. "Also cocks as well." He added. Husk and Vaggie groaned.

Niffty went next, but Charlie spoke before her, "Please try not to scare away our newest member." She pleaded. Niffty pouted but compiled anyway.

"I love writing fanfiction! Escapily with bad boys." Her tone turned slightly seductive at the end. You elected to ignore that.

There was a silence as everyone waited for Vaggie. Charlie stretched her palm out to tell her to talk. "Oh- yeah right sorry." She shook her head slightly, "I like to dance."

"Really!? How come I never knew that?" Charlie asked.

"It never came up." Vaggie smiled faintly

"I'm the bartender," Husk grumbled. Vaggie elbowed him. "What? I told a fact about myself."

Alastor let out an "ahem" noise. The focus shifted to him. "While this is a fact in general, I believe that radio is the utmost form of medium." As baseline as this was for a guy such as Alastor, you also kind of expected it. Alastor would not let anything deeper about himself slip. So why not go for the most well-known part of yourself. "Now, y/n, darling I do believe it is your turn."

Oh shit right. You've just met these people so don't go with anything personal. Also, make sure it doesn't make anyone uncomfortable. “I really don’t like being an overlord.” Your mouth moved before you could comprehend what you were saying. Well fuck. If this was a TV show you’d clearly be the comic relief, at least right now. Everyone but Alastor and Niffty had some form of uncomfortable plastered on their face. Alastor however had a curious yet sinister smile on his face. Niffty wasn’t really paying attention to you, she was chasing some random cockroach. 

You wanted to go back on that statement but something was saving you from embarrassing yourself further. Do demons have guardian angels? If so, yours was working overtime right now. But they also weren’t getting much work done.

Your real savior was whoever blew the fucking wall up. Everyone's head was quickly aimed at the now missing wall. While Husk just accepted it everyone else, including yourself, to find the source. Like you were in some sort of horror movie character getting ready to be stabbed. But you instead met with a huge mechanical blimp that had an impractical amount of guns.

“There you are!” The person in the blimp called out. It was very hard to hear but it was just loud enough. “Alastor, are you ready to be beat-”

“Who is this?’ 

“Who- Who am I!?” The voice was very clearly offended at Alastor's lack of knowledge. You just drowned the rest out. Alastor was cruel and frankly heartless. But he also did not like wasting time. So even while this poor sinner's fate was sealed, thankfully it wouldn’t be as drawn out as his past victims. You turned around to hopefully save any shred of innocence you were able to save. As you entered through the wall you could hear both Alastor and his victim speak.

“Thank you for another forgetful experience!” Alastor said. You didn’t necessarily

want to look but you did so anyway. Kind of like watching a car crash.

“Thank you…” the snake struggled to get out, “ For letting your guard down!” He ripped part of Alastors coat off. Well, that's not good, for anyone really. Alastor’s coat got torn and this sinner is about to die again. Or at the very least get seriously injured. You’re honestly surprised he lasted this long. He was notably weaker than The Radio Demon’s usual opponents. 

He, quite appropriately, said “Oh shit-” Before an explosion (you can only guess caused by Alastor) caused him to fly away. Welp, he’s gone forever now. The hotel seemed nice for the most part. It honestly still does. You just wish you weren’t staying in the same house as The Radio Demon. But now that you think about it, almost everyone here seems to have something severely wrong with them. And that includes you too. So at least you fit in.

[big-waifu]

BOOK: #1

DATE: Multiple (2001-2008(?))

THOUGHTS: Chibis! They're the best aren't they!?

It is difficult to go through all of this all at the same time. It is worth noting this is a feature that will be happening once in awhile in which I revisit pages I did later on and add a new drawing to show off my new style. This was maybe a flex by my younger self at my even younger self but also just a way to see how far I've come.

Since this is kind of a smorgasbord, I will try to clip certain parts to discuss:

Section 1 is what I call "the first attempt." My best guess for the inspiration to draw chibis was the "Welcome to Loddoss Island!" shorts at the end of episodes of the Record of Loddoss War TV series.

At any rate, I was eager to try the seemingly easier to work with chibi style (though it appears here I call them SD's for "Super-Deformed." I wonder if we leaned away from that phrasing for a reason...) Here are my precious OC's being cute and, of course, holding hands and fighting over each other. Note the top left corner which has Pylon drowning in women. It was 2001 and the harem anime was in full swing over in the USA. Not sorry.

Section 2 was done maybe a few days later. More of the same business going on here. This is probably the first place a lot of these characters were actually ever drawn into a sketchbook rather than just made from a hasty Megaman sprite edit from my imagination. I promise I'll try to give more background on these characters as they become the subject of drawings. The top image of the space police woman shooting at what appears to be Pylon set up on a target for some kind of trickshooting goes extremely hard and I am 100% here for it.

Section 3 is a compilation of things I call "the comments section." Years later I would return to this page and channel the sheer cringe bloodlust I was feeling looking at these pictures I drew as an 11 Year old and attempt to show off my new style using phrases like "I am so much cooler than you guys" and "No I own" (It was 2005. It was cool to say things "owned." Once again: not sorry.)

As you may or may not notice, there are a few of these that are cat and dog people. This is foreshadowing.

[henrybly]

As soon as Ivy creased into laughter at his stance, Henry couldn’t help but grimace. Not because he was annoyed by her reaction. No, he knew he had warranted that, standing there like a stick man a little kid had drawn. He just hoped she’d come to her senses and realise that he was not the guy she wanted to center the photo shoot around.

“I warned you this wouldn’t be great,” he told her, huffing his words out around a laugh himself. As much as people liked to label him as the brooding, mysterious one of the band, Henry knew when to take a joke. Almost especially when it was at his own expense.

He never really had to think about any of this onstage. They were let loose as a band, their image never really being called into question because one thing about their manager is that she had given them freedom to cultivate a brand of their own. Sure, a lot of people had always said Poppy was very excitable, talking a mile a minute, and there had been plenty of other musicians who complained that Diego flirted far too much. Hell, their support act, Maggie, seemed to have something negative to say about every one of them, but overall, Shattered Diamonds had only ever stayed in their lane, singing good music and, for the most part, being completely inoffensive. There had been no great scandal to come from them and so why should they have to be kept on a tight leash? Whatever they wanted to do onstage was entirely up to them.

Which had been good news for Henry seeing as he was keen on just playing his piano and occasionally singing back-up. There were a few video clips online here and there that had been compiled together of him throwing supposed heart-eyes Poppy’s way whenever she had a solo, and he knew that their fans had amassed into a specific collective who were convinced he was dating the bassist, but it had never been anything that made him uncomfortable. The best part of being in the band sometimes was just being left alone to play his instrument in front of a crowd.

Now that he actually had to think about how to present himself, none of it was coming naturally to him.

Thankfully, Ivy seemed to know what she was doing and he allowed himself to be nudged and directed every which way, lifting his chin as instructed. As she pushed his head up slightly, he looked down at Ivy through his lashes, catching her gaze and giving her a small smile. Maybe a bit of a flirtatious move on his part, but it was more to make the both of them feel at ease.

He was now standing in a way that felt sort of foreign to him, but at the same time, he didn’t feel uncomfortable. He wasn’t posed in a way that was sure to make him cringe when he saw the final product, so he was happy to lean into it for the time being.

“ I guess… hands in my pocket?” he said, stuffing them into the pouch of his hoodie.

He gave Ivy an expectant look, waiting for her to pass judgment. However, Marmalade got their first, pressing himself against Henry’s shins and slipping through the gap between his legs. He rolled his eyes, amused.

“Although, if they’re in my pockets, I don’t know how I’m going to keep him out of trouble,” he pointed out.

At the age of 30, Ivy liked to think of herself as having grown up a lot since her college days. She’d had a whirlwind upbringing that meant she’d experienced things no child should have ever experienced, as well as having seen and done things that she wasn’t particularly proud of. While there was definitely a whole load of trauma she’d yet to unpack, as well as a gaping hole in her memory and an ache in her chest where her long-forgotten biological family lived rent free – hypothetical and dream-like as they were – she genuinely believed that she’d turned her life around a little over the past few years. She was a freelance photographer, working for herself in the field and dodging taxes where she saw fit, and had another job working with Raff. She had her own apartment which in itself was something she never assumed she’d achieve, and she truly believed she’d established a pretty good reputation for herself within the industry of her choosing, carrying a sense of professionalism neither she nor Wardo thought she had in her. 

With all of that in mind, professionalism be damned, Ivy could not control the howl of laughter that escaped her body when she turned to face Henry. It wasn’t a cruel laugh, not by any standard, but she was definitely amused by the picture he’d presented her with. 

“I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you. But... Dude, oh my God,” she cackled, clamping a hand over her mouth to muffle the horrendous sound that escaped her. “No, man, that’s not quite what I had in mind...” 

She snickered, all too entertained. She’d seen videos of Henry performing, had inhaled them in preparation for their shoot; she knew he had charisma, buckets full of it. In fact, just his general demeanor and sense of homeliness when chatting mere moments before had far more charming than whatever he was doing now. Arms stiff at his side, disgruntled cat clawing at the vinyl flooring by his feet, Henry currently looked like he’d rather be anywhere else in the world but Ivy’s – albeit temporary – studio. 

“Right, we’re gonna mix things up today, okay?” She told him, the question hanging on the end of her sentence merely rhetoric. Whether he liked it or not, Ivy was going to make it her mission for the day to get Henry to relax for her. She knew he was a handsome guy, and she’d already seen enough of him to know he had the personality to match his appearance, she just needed the rest of the world to see it too. 

Taking a few, slow steps towards him, head tilted in concentration, she arched a brow as she took him in. Her eyes scanned the room, absently searching for props that she might be able to use in her favour. She took in his appearance, noting that he hadn’t had quite the same styling the rest of the band had seen. While the others waited on the other side of the door, it was impossible to observe that the rest of the band looked the image of Rock Stars; they told you what they were selling with one simple glance at them. Henry, in his cozy hoody, looked more like a Little League Baseball Coach than the pianist for one of the biggest bands on the scene right now. And yet, wasn’t this exactly who Henry was? Was there ever a specific rule in place that said you had to dress or behave a particular way to be a Rock Star? Surely the only credential required to qualify was, quite simply, to be one. 

And a Rock Star, Henry was. 

“Okay, you mind if I just take over here a little?” she mused, dropping her voice a little. Ivy was under no delusions that she’d ever be considered soft or gentle, but she liked to think she had it in her to not be a total asshole all of the time. And if she could do anything to make Henry comfortable under her direction, she’d like to give it a try. She raised a careful hand, reaching out for him, pausing momentarily in search of his approval. Ivy was forward, absolutely, but she wasn’t about to start grabbing people unprompted and without consent. 

“Right, let’s take a good look at you, handsome,” she breathed, offering him a warm smile. With as tender a touch as she could muster, Ivy grazed his jaw with her finger, tilting his chin upward slightly, turning his face from the camera. With the same attention, she placed a hand to his forearm and shifted his shoulders, carefully angling them towards her instead. 

With a step back, she surveyed him, his posture already so different. His chin raised, shoulders to the side, she smirked. She was already liking what she saw. 

“Okay, now... What’s more comfortable for you? Hands in the pocket, or arms crossed?”  

[michaelmilligan]

Endversetober Day 9: Hands

(explanation post) (compilation post - now with AO3 link)

They went back to Earth. This time, Adam wasn't surprised that it was a wasteland filled with zombies.

He was still disappointed, though.

While he'd hoped they'd at least avoid the zombie hordes, Michael seemed to have a different idea. Namely, to go right into a hot zone again, rip a metal pipe out where it stuck out of the cracked pavement, and bash some zombie heads in.

Adam cringed back from the forefront of his mind, doing the mental equivalent of closing his eyes. While he was no stranger to slasher movies or even first-person shooter games... this was a little too realistic for him.

He supposed for Michael, it was just a way to let out his frustrations. The anger he'd felt up in Heaven had almost drowned Adam for a bit there. And that was on top of Heaven already being incredibly overwhelming.

If he'd thought that seeing one angel's true form was mind-boggling...

Michael? he asked after what felt like several minutes of zombie-obliteration. Hey, you listening?

WHAT? Michael asked, clearly annoyed.

When Adam peeked between his fingers (again, mental equivalent), he saw that all the zombies around them were dead.

There was a lot of blood around them, and very disfigured corpses. Some of them even looked burned, however that had happened.

Um. You okay?

Michael scoffed. By now, Adam thought he had a pretty good grasp on the archangelic displays of emotion, even though they still mentally knocked him on his ass every time.

And that was definitely a scoff.

It's just. Don't you have better things to do than kill a bunch of zombies?

LIKE WHAT? Michael asked sarcastically. PRAY TELL, OH WISE HUMAN.

Look, you don't have to be mean about it, Adam grumbled. But didn't we come back here to find that Balthazar guy?

BALTHAZAR WILL STILL BE ON EARTH WHEN I'M FINISHED WITH ALL THE MONSTERS IN THIS CITY.

Will he? Adam questioned. Listen, I like that you're trying to clean up or whatever, but don't you have bigger fish to fry?

Michael seemed about to say something – Adam wasn't sure how he knew, but he did – but then just made a disgruntled sound.

WHATEVER, he said, throwing his – their – hands up.

Jesus Christ! Adam yelled, which seemed to startle the archangel inside him.

WHAT?

What's with all the blood?!

Pulling their – Adam's! –  face into a frown, Michael looked up to survey the landscape.

No, I mean on our –  my hands!

Michael looked down again. There was blood on their t-shirt and jacket too, Adam noticed with growing horror, so much that for a moment, he had difficulty remembering what colour the clothes were supposed to be.

WHAT ABOUT IT? Michael asked.

Why is there so much of it?? What did you do to those poor zombies??

Adam hadn't thought it possible that he would empathize with any kind of revenant, much less ones that tried to bite you. And yet.

POOR ZOMBIES? Amusement rippled from Michael to Adam, still feeling like a freaking flash flood. This time, Adam stayed upright though. YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?

I mean, kinda. Adam cringed. But not really. You got, um, some anger management issues there?

I HAVE NO ISSUES MANAGING MY ANGER.

Well, if this is how you do it, no wonder all those angels basically fled when they saw you.

Adam cursed himself as soon as he'd said it. Michael had already deemed him annoying before – this would definitely set him off.

I'M NOT IN THE HABIT OF BRUTALIZING MY BRETHREN, Michael said, with an edge of indignation but otherwise surprisingly calm. WELL. AT LEAST NOT UNLESS THEY'VE DEFIED THE PLAN.

What plan?

GOD'S PLAN.

Does that happen often?

NO. Michael seemed to think about it. A LITTLE MORE OFTEN LATELY, I GUESS. THERE WAS ANNA, AND THEN CASTIEL, THOUGH THAT PROBLEM HAS SOLVED ITSELF I HEAR.

Right. Whatever that meant. Adam wasn't sure he wanted to know. Must be hard, killing your... what was it? Your siblings?

MY BRETHREN, YES. BUT IT'S NOT HARD TO ENACT PUNISHMENT ON THOSE WHO HAVE FAILED HEAVEN. IT'S MY DUTY.

And your pleasure? Adam thought before he could stop himself.

PLEASURE? A beat of silence. NO. BUT I ALSO DON'T SEE WHY I SHOULD FEEL BAD ABOUT SLAYING MY ENEMIES.

Even if they were your friends before?

Michael huffed. FRIENDS? I DON'T HAVE 'FRIENDS'.

Oh, wow. Um. Sorry, dude.

YOU MISUNDERSTAND ME. This time, the amusement coming from Michael was laced with annoyance.

Shit, Adam thought, but this time only to himself.

I'M A COMMANDER. THE VICEROY OF HEAVEN. THE OTHER ANGELS ARE MY ARMY.

Adam shifted uncomfortably. While he wasn't sure how that worked while being just a soul, he was pretty sure he was doing it.

That sounds pretty lonely, dude. But I guess I don't know enough about angels to judge that, he added quickly.

OBVIOUSLY. WE DON'T HAVE SUCH CONCEPTS AS 'FRIENDS', OR ANY OF THE OTHER TYPES OF SILLY RELATIONSHIPS YOU HUMANS HAVE.

So... you've never felt bad about killing anyone?

Another bout of silence. I MIGHT GET A LITTLE MELANCHOLIC WHEN I HAVE TO KILL MY BROTHER LUCIFER.

Adam sighed. They both looked down at their hands again.

Out, damned spot, Adam muttered.

WHAT?

What, you don't have Shakespeare in Heaven? Adam asked sarcastically.

I'D HAVE TO ASK IF HE'S IN HEAVEN OR HELL. ALL I KNOW ABOUT HIM IS THAT HE WAS AN UP-AND-COMING PLAYWRIGHT IN HIS TIME.

An up-and... yeah, okay. Sure. Adam sighed and, despite himself, laughed. This conversation was so absurd.

WAS HE ANY GOOD? Michael asked.

Well. I had to read Macbeth in High School. Or more like, I was supposed to read it. Adam squirmed again. He hadn't really understood the language, so he'd just skimmed it and read a few summaries. I guess you could say he's still pretty popular.

AH. Michael was silent for several minutes as they made their way through the city. Whether they were looking for more zombies or actually tracking Balthazar, Adam had no idea.

But eventually, Michael said: WHAT DOES IT MEAN? THE QUOTE YOU GAVE.

Oh. Well, you see in Macbeth there's this guy who ends up killing the king...

While Michael seemed rather miffed at the contents of the play, objecting the killing of a superior, he at least listened relatively patiently while Adam explained it. He even gave something like a laugh – as intended – when Adam told him how the forest had moved.

That one, Adam had always found funny, too.

The reveal about Macduff was a little lame though. Like, yeah, he was born via C-section or whatever, but he was still born by a woman, right? I liked that better in Lord of the Rings. You know, when Eowyn kills the Witch King? Oh, you probably don't know what Lord of the Rings is, huh. So, there was this guy named Tolkien, who liked making up languages...

There was an almost continuous flow of amusement from Michael now, and while it was still a whole lot to take in... Adam was beginning to get used to it.

[trashytummiez]

Motion Sick Gaming

@squidbiscuit made this amazingly cute pic yesterday of Raihan getting all burpy on his stream from motion sickness.  I had to make this fic after that.  <3

Raihan usually loved livestream gaming.  It was always a really fun way of interacting with his fans and where he got the most donations.  Unfortunately he often tended to forget that some games really go in way too fast and loose with the camera. 

He was playing an FPS about a cyborg who goes up against renegade cyborgs just like him.  Fun game with really reactive controls and intense boss battles but that also meant the camera moved way too fast for Raihan’s eyes to properly keep up.  So all poor Raihan could do was sit in his gamers chair and try his best to soldier on without getting too sick in front of his watchers.

“And that’s the warehouse boss cleared,” Raihan said into his headphone mic.  He sounded groggy already and huffed mildly.  “She really makes you leap’n run all over the place huh...”

He turned his head and held in a burp he felt rising up his throat then cringed at the unpleasant taste in his mouth.

“Ungh, now the park level.  Think this is where I gotta take out all the bad guys in like five minutes or else a bomb kills all the hostages...”

Raihan cringed remembering how fast paced this level was going to be.

Just as he feared it wasn’t long before he had to start blasting his way through terrorists in a gorgeous park setting.  There were so many with rocket launchers that Raihan had to constantly be leaping and using his mouse to quick-fire at every rocket that got shot his way.  The loose camera lurched way too fast with each sharp turn of Raihan’s mouse and made Raihan’s face go a little green.

Not only that but his hoodie covered tummy released a really thick and unpleasant gurgling.

GRRRRUUUUUOOOOOORRGGGL!

Raihan raised a fist to his mouth and muffled a really deep burp that clearly got picked up into his mic.

MMMFUURRRRRRRPH!!!

Raihan huffed making his tongue stick out and revealing his fangs in a more sickly manner.  “Uhaaaah...sorry chat-urp-forgot how wonky the camera in this game is...”

He appeared as if he was sweating a little from how nauseous he was getting.  

One of the chats asked him if he should take a break or play something else.

Raihan managed a weak smile and shook his head.  “Nah it’s fine.  Just gotta be a lil more careful with my aim...”

He kept playing and the level never let up.  Raihan’s character was turning so much he almost resembled an owl which did nothing to ease the growing nausea brewing in his stomach.

Another loud and unpleasant gurgle erupted from his tummy and had Raihan exhaling a deep breath to keep from feeling too sick but it didn’t work.  It was no wonder all the reviews kept criticizing the games camerawork and not having a sensitivity scale to manipulate like any self resecting PC game.  

Raihan paused the came when it to be too much slouching in his chair with his head hanging low.  “Unngh...that’s brutal,” Raihan said with a nauseous huff.

His breath hitched and he leaned back in his chair with one hand on his belly then turned his head to muffle a really wet burp that left him cringing after.

HHHHHHRRRRRRRMMPH!!!!

“Unnnngh, ‘scuse me,” Raihan mumbled in sickly fashion while rubbing his churning belly with one hand.  “Sorry chat.  Really don’t mean to be burping into the mic like that...”

Lot of chats popped up assuring Raihan it was okay or thanking him for playing but saying he didn’t need to if he didn’t want to.  Of course with twitch he also got quite a few chats popping up and practically begging him to burp more.

One popped up suggesting he try ginger ale to see if it would help his tummy problems.  They also donated ten euros if he got the full bottle instead of just a cup.

Raihan huffed again.  “Ungh, thanks for the donation...guess it couldn’t hurt...”

So Raihan took his headset off and got up from his seat with a groan still holding his tummy in one hand when he walked off to grab a drink.  While he was off-camera the chat could hear a really loud and raunchy burp erupt from the kitchen followed by a relieved moan from Raihan.  Some chats popped up lol-ing.  Others posted heart emojis and a few expressed disappointment that he wasn’t on camera to let loose.

He eventually came back with a 2 liter bottle of ginger ale and sat back down.

Raihan huffed again then put his headset back one.  “Alright chat.  Let’s see if this does anything...” 

He unscrewed the bottle and began chugging down.  With his mic so close to his lips it picked up and amplified the sound of his gulping for his watchers.  So many of them fawned over the loud squelch of his throat taking in so much soda.  Others jokingly posted ‘chug chug chug!’  Raihan downed a good portion of the bottle with his eyes clenched shut and letting the ginger settle.  His tummy bubbled heavily from all the carbonated liquid filling him up so fast but he just needed to feel less nauseous.

Eventually he pulled the bottle away and panted heartily inadvertently giving his viewers a good look at the inside of his mouth.

He set the bottle down and huffed some more.  Then there was an audible gurgle that rose up his throat and made his head lurch in his neck for a moment until Raihan released a huge burp right into his mic.

BLLUUUURRRRRROOOOOOOOOOORRRAAAAAHP!!!!!!!

It was so strong that it practically made his volume levels peak.

Raihan leaned back in his chair and rubbed his belly with one hand gasping heavily.  A low burp rolled out from the corner of his mouth exposing his fangs some more and then a tiny after burp.

UUuuuuuuurrrrllloooorlhp!

Urp!

His hand firmly ran up and down his turbulent tummy really digging his fingers into it.  He looked really concentrated like he could feel another one building up inside.  Then he clutched his belly and released a really throaty burp.

HAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUURRRRAAAAAAAAAAHP!!!!

The feed was going nuts with superchats and donations.  Raihan just laughed in an exhausted sort of way and shook his head.  “Faaaah...hah...bloody hell, there’s still more in there,” he said patting his belly a few times and releasing a short but sharp burp after.

Raihan sighed and rubbed his belly in a more satisfied manner humming to himself. 

“Man...that’s way better,” he breathed in relieved fashion to his viewers.  “Brilliant suggestion, mate.  Stomach feels way less grumbly now...but I think I’mma take your advice and cut the stream short theEEEEEEEEEERRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHP!!!”  His sentence was cut short when a raunchy burp cut him off midsentence.

He blushed and covered his mouth.

“...Guess that was the rest I was waiting for...” he said chuckling embarrassingly.

Though he probably shouldn’t have been too embarrassed.  That little display of gaseousness was probably going to see his sub-count surge once the compilations started going out.

Oh the things Raihan did for his fans.

[nekasu]

SnapCube’s Until Dawn Real-Time Fandub Sentence Starters (Part 1)

"I didn't bring my phone. It was in my other pants!" "This is a really long high five." "...I won't tell anyone about this." "Ya see, that's a joke thinger." "Can you see me? Don't answer that." "Who talks to screens? Maybe you can." "We're here in a strange time at a strange place." "Hopefully you enjoyed whatever the hell THIS video was." "When those girls died? That was funny." "My phone still has battery? Holy shit, I gotta keep that warm." "I'm trying to get like 100% on Animal Crossing." "Check it out, I have this gun. It's really really cool." "Are you McCree from Overwatch, hit video game?" "Make sure you don't shoot any guys with that." "Never mind, I do have the key. I just found it in my pocket." "We're all just really good beans at the end of the day." "Why did you hit me? That hurt so much!" "Sorry, I've been in jail a while." "My arm really hurts. Do you have any first aid?" "I just got off the big train in the sky." "This is my Smash invitation and frankly, I deserve it." "It was gonna be a surprise for your birthday, motherfucker!" "Jesus, everyone is so rude. What is this, Rude Mountain?" "This mountain fucking sucks." "I'm here to be rude to people." "I think this is sus. He's definitely the impostor." "As a gamer, I know all about Among Us." "Is this...Tamriel?" "Well, that's a cliff." "No, you got arms!" "I don't speak corn." "Grab my stinky hand!" "I will live on in the vibes!" "No, that's too fast! Oh, god!" "2x4? You're not even a 1x1." "You look so stupid right now." "Hehe, I'm under the bed now!" "It was for a prank video. Come on!" "It's fine, honestly. She has a blanket." "Women never listen to me when I talk..." "Everything's a big deal when you make it." "Oh my god she has pants! What the fuck?!" "No one told me I was wearing pants today!" "It's pretty cold because it's DEAD of winter!" "Hey, tree! Look at me, I'm looming right now!" "Not a blanket, but maybe I can keep you warm." "This fuckin' candle doesn't keep me warm at all.” "At least you're not calling it 'arm pants' this time." "Oh, wow! SHE'S looming! Oh, she can teach me!" "I don't want to play any of your Among Us games." "I have this weird feeling someone's looming around here." "Answer a question for me: how are you feeling today? YEAH!" "Well now, wise guy. Let's see who among us really is the funniest." "Helloooo there! I am Doctor Rabbit. The world's only rabbit rabbit." "Whoa, that guy was straight up looming! I wish I could loom like that.” "Was that that Anus Unnus guy?" "Hey, babe, you wanna go and record a blog with me?" "So are my pranks as good as Markiplier?" "Wait, when did they get the hugging perk?!" "See, that's what I think of your problems, is that they're just some sort of joke." "Got in real trouble with the locals, I did. They don't let me back there." "Maybe you're just trying to be woke or something." "Your insurance isn't covering these sessions, by the way." "We can send, like, aura to each other. You know like, uh, vibes." "I don't guess, I know. I never guess, I know everything. I do the math." "Two plus two equals you're my friend. Just kidding, it's four." "I just hurt all of my bones." "High five? No, you're too far away. My bad." "Did you solve my wolverine puzzle?" "Did you know doors hurt?" "Everyone has a raccoon!" "Why don't you keep it to yourself, tough guy?" "Save the fight until I have the camera ready, okay?" "That's not a view, that's a snow." "I think you're in the corridor of the monkey." "If you throw that me, I'm gonna fuckin' flip my goddamn lid." "You want some snow, bitch?!" "Lady? Girl? ...I should really learn her name." "Water's looking a little green, that's just the way I like it." "Did the ghosts take my friends again?" "I'm actually half ghost." "Is that a lightsaber? Like from Star Trek?" "I'm gonna level with you, I hate being in the same room as you." "BOOOOOOOOOOOK!" "You like the new office? I fuckin' don't." "You didn't read through the contract, did you kiddo?" "I can get fucked? Finally!" "Even the ghost agrees." "I should have fucking known. This ghost is such a libro." "That's great and all, but I'm gonna look like a jackass!" "This is what happens when you pull mean pranks. God punishes an elk." "THAT was a HEALING spell?! Oh god!" "Door key? You're pretty dorky!" "I can imagine a lot of dipshits, in fact." "Get un-naked! Get un-naked! Get un-naked! Get un-naked!" "I'm casting a hex on you now. Have fun getting hexed, idiot." "See? The Kinect causes psychic powers." "I can't believe Blue's freakin' clue is on here." "Ugh...I freaking hate doors." "Blue save me..." "Telling them the vibes made you do it won't hold up in a court of law." "Oh, would you look at the time. It's time for me to rip you a new one again!" "I cannot wait, but I suppose I'll have to." "The hex worked great. Now let's see if I can go shoot what remains of her." "I love running through the forest like a fucking weirdo." "You look like an idiot on the ground there." "If I have anything to say about it, you won't make it back." "I wanna see you, whatever you are, you funny-looking fellow." "Why do I have so much trouble with doors?" "Hey, funny voice! Fuck off, please!" "It's a saw trap, you dumb piece of shit!"

"Seems mysterious, but I won't shoot him this time. Gotta weaken him with the hex." "You're gonna get fucked if you can't say goodbye to a ghost. Trust me on that one." "Hey, uh, do you wanna stop having trouble with doors, now'd be a phantasmical time!" "Unless you want to work with me here, well...we're gonna be stuck here until dawn." "Not like you've ever done anything on purpose in your entire life, you fucking hack." "What, not even a goddamn laugh? Oh, it's gonna be a rough fuckin' couple weeks." "I can't believe I made it up to Rude Mountain only to be discovered by rude people." "I've got all my gamerscore on my phone, so I'm hoping that nobody really touched it.” "That's pretty cringe of you, buddy. I'm gonna put you in my Cringe Tuesday compilation." "If I wanted to talk about beans, I'd hang around with the fuckin' Among Us crew down there." "You know what? I have two arms, so I guess I CAN carry both of them at the same time." "I just got my lips unstuck. Aw, geez. I've been trying to talk to you guys this whole time."  "I left some beans in my backpack. They might be a few years old, but they don't really expire." "I should've known that coming to Rude Mountain would have made you worse as a person." "I've just been playing a lot of Among Us recently and I've just been trying to really get good at lying. "Oh, so NOW you're a funny guy, huh? You think you got your own jokes?! Ya think this is stand up?!" "I have blankets in the back, but I'm gonna go to the front just to see if I can spice things up a little." "I'm here to help you, and whaddya do? You spit in my goddamn face! ...Metaphorically, of course.” "What do you take me for, some kind of clown?! Some kind of Boo Boo the Fool that ain't done this rodeo before?!" "Here at therapy we're here to answer the one big burning question everyone's got: what the FUCK is wrong with you?" "I noticed you don't have much of a sense of humor. That might explain all the shit you've gotten into recently, wouldn't it?" "Well with my ten step plan I'll be happy to go plumb the depths of your sad, scared little mind and see what makes you...tick, as it were."

[kurinoot]

[day 5] five creative songs | tsukishima kei

-> you know how much tsukishima listens to music most of the time no matter where he goes, so you thought of a way on how to confess your (hidden) feelings for him on valentines day, but will everything turned out as you thought it would be?

pairing: tsukishima x reader

themes: slight angst, takes place when you guys are second (or even third) years, mostly flirting playful banter, cliffhanger (?), too much salt, I guess 

wc: 1.5k

note: this one is kind of shorter compared to the previous valentines’ fic but please do anticipate the white day fic continuation of this one! please do tell me if you enjoyed this one, or if you have any criticisms or anything!

That’s it.

You’re not gonna make another Spotify stuff or whatever they call it again.

You never knew how hard it is to find song titles that matched your message to your liking without cringing until you planned and went to do it yourself.

“Finally!”, you grumbled as you found the last song for the playlist that you have set up for your crush on Valentines’ Day. You scratch your head in doubt, because you know for a fact that your crush is a salty bean, and even though you have the mental capacity to go head-to-head in a trash talk with him, the emotional wreck—you—says otherwise. For sure, he will most likely outright reject you, or something much worse like insulting your taste of music.

Even worse...

You have a crush on Kei Tsukishima.

You wondered yourself, of all the people you could’ve possibly have crushed on, it was that one cute salty beanpole that you chose. But on the plus side, you somehow developed a friendship with his freckled friend, who is kind of stuck in your situation, now helping you; which makes you wonder why is the softest boy in (probably) in the entirety of Karasuno High hanging out with the saltiest—even saltier than the ocean—beanpole.

“I think Tsukki will like that, just mind his words.”, Yamaguchi reassures you as he looks at the songs you have compiled for his best friend. He scrolls through the playlists, only to see a cohesive message forming from the titles of the songs. You immediately hear him giggle at the roster, which did not help your situation.

“Tadashi! You’re not helping!”, you pout at Yamaguchi’s response, who only then gave you a teasing giggle as you mentally breakdown.

“Sorry, Y/N.” He once again looked through your playlist, listening to one of the songs. “I may not be Tsukki, but I know he’ll probably like it.” He bobs his head to the rhythm of the music before you snorted at his response.

“Probably, my ass.”, you mutter to yourself as your hands rubbed your stressed temple while the both of you walked to the cafeteria.

Lunch break arrives as Yamaguchi went off to find the tall blonde as you went to the vending machine to buy milk. You look for your friend who, as usual, sits along with the salty french fry, as you call him. You hastily join their table with your bento in hand. Tsukishima notices your presence as you see him scowl as you pull a vacant chair to sit.

“Oh? Look what the cat dragged in, it’s you.” Tsukishima snarkily remarked, emphasizing on you with his eyes still focused on his food before glaring at you, giving you a snarky smirk. “I don’t even recall letting you in our little friend group, just because Yamaguchi’s your only friend.”

You looked at Yamaguchi for support in response to Tsukishima, “Am I not invited, Ta-da-shi~?”, you gave your saddest, cutest puppy eyes to Yamaguchi who could only look back and forth consecutively between the two of you before giving Tsukishima an apologetic look.

“Hah! 2 vs. 1, majority wins, Tsukki-poo.”, you snickered, sticking your tongue out as you sat down on the chair next to Yamaguchi. Tsukishima repeatedly tsk’ed in annoyance, looking at Tadashi.

“I don’t like that you’re close to this sham of a nigersaurus, Yamaguchi.”, Tsukishima nonchalantly blurts out as he notices your scowling face before snickering, arrogantly raising a brow.  ”Oh, sorry, I didn’t notice you were there.”

You could only raise an eyebrow at him, “Watch it, Tsk-ishima, you’re spitting too much salt, it might get to my food.” Tsukishima’s eye twitched irritatedly as he looked over you. “I don’t want my onigiri tasting like trash.” You ate your onigiri as you stared deadpan at Tsukishima, scoffing as he scowled at you.

Yamaguchi could only do so much to stop your senseless trash talking as he just laughed at your usual banter, resuming eating his lunch.

“Now now, settle down you two… I’m sure Tsukki doesn’t mean that way, Y/N. Right, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi says as he looked at Tsukishima for affirmation, scoffing as the blocker looked away annoyedly, as you did also.

To his surprise, the both of you decided to just eat your heart out instead of grabbing everyone’s attention, as the tension at your table was suffocating that even the other passersby were taking notice of the awkwardness between you and Tsukishima as you both resumed eating.

“You know what, let me just powder my nose. There’s some salt all over my face, and it’s irritating me.”, you say as you abruptly stand and give Tsukishima a mocking face to which he snickers in reply.

“Oh, Y/N, can I borrow your phone again?” Yamaguchi asks, giving him the thumbs up before leaving for the comfort room. He takes your phone from your bag as he scrolls down to the playlist that you created, searching for a specific song. Tsukishima, surprised at the closeness between you and Yamaguchi and curious at the contents of your phone, intrigues him as he leaned towards the budding pinch server, who was too occupied with checking your playlist. He then grabs your phone out of his best friend’s hands, much to Yamaguchi’s shock. Tsukishima’s face contorted disgustingly as he saw his name on the playlist.

“Tsukki! I-”

“Why is my name in here?”, Tsukishima asked with a bitter tone in his voice as he looked through your ‘Valentines’ playlist and his name in one sentence. Yamaguchi panickingly tried to take back your phone, but without success.

“Tsukki! Give her phone back! Please!”, he desperately reaches out for your phone as Tsukishima dodges his hands. Yamaguchi wished to be tall for once as he cursed internally for being clumsy that he shouldn’t have done it. He shouldn’t have scrolled through your phone to look for that 5 Seconds of Summer song.

Tsukishima scrolled through the playlist, feeling even more disgusted at the thought of your cheesy antics. Much to his displeasure, his cheeks started to heat up,  which would’ve been obvious if it weren’t for the sunlight peeking through the classroom windows.

“Hey! W-Why do you have my phone?!”, you stutter as you made your presence known to the two. You could only see Yamaguchi a bit shaken, covering his mouth in shock as he could only watch everything unravel before his eyes.

Tsukishima breaks the ice, teasing you to cover up his embarrassed state, “I knew you have bad taste in music, but I never knew it would be THIS bad. And what’s with this cheesy antic?”

“It’s the message in the titles that count — that’s not the point!”, you could only grumble and stutter in reply, with your cheeks going on full red in both anger and embarrassment.

“You should have your ears checked next time if you’re listening to these.”, Tsukishima laughs as he shoves back your phone to you before he starts walking away.

Your teeth seethed in anger as your hands tightened on your phone, trying to grasp what remains of your dignity. “I-If you think your taste in music is better, why don't you show me yours, huh?!”

With a snap, Tsukishima halted and turned to look at you, bitterly irritated before his facade quickly changed to the most irritating mocking smile you’ve ever seen.

“What’s that?” He asks, calmly.

“I didn’t quite catch what you said over your whimpering, Y/N.” His tone was venomous, particularly at the mention of your name. You never saw him this pissed, let alone, him saying your name in a rather hostile tone. He hastily approached you and with each step, your heart pounded faster against your chest. Your brain is shouting at you to run away, but your body can't; you feel your sweat run cold as Tsukishima approaches you. In an instant, he forcibly grabs your arm and slams you to the wall.

“Hey! What was that for—”, your sentence was cut short as his long arms locked you to the wall as he closed the distance between the two of you. The closeness made your heart race faster as your blood rose in each minute to your cheeks, his breath tingling against your skin.

You see the shift of his face to a smirk, his hand on your chin forcibly making you look at him, directly at his amber eyes. “So, you actually like me, eh?” He suddenly drew closer to your ear.

“Y/N?”

You compelled yourself to not whimper at the moment, looking away from him as he narrowly stares at you for a while before he lets you go and goes out of the classroom like nothing happened. Your legs were threatening to fall weakly to the floor, staring into nothingness as Yamaguchi, who usually follows Tsukishima afterwards, was now trying to knock some sense back into you.

“Y/N! Y/N!”, you hear Tadashi shaking you gently.

Your heart could only beat in a combination of embarrassment and anxiety, and the butterflies in your stomach weren’t helping either as the background noise in your ears disappeared. Even if Yamaguchi was at your side, calming you down, you still felt Tsukishima’s lingering presence as you caressed your cheek, feeling the heat from earlier; your teeth seething in anger.

“Damn you Tsukishima!”

back to valentines masterlist

[blu-joons]

You Appear On ShinDongDengDong ~ Shindong

Your eyes lit up as you walked into the living room and noticed that Donghee had finished setting up for his new video for his YouTube channel. The two chairs that were placed at the table quickly made you anxious however as you walked further into the room.

“The fans are excited to have you on,” he grinned, placing the phone he was reviewing on the table. “Are you ready to start filming now?”

“Of course,” you smiled, walking over to the large mirror beside the television to check your appearance. Donghee walked around, making sure that all his lights were on and all the cameras were recording the perfect angle, meticulous as he always was.

He took a seat on the left hand side of the shot, waiting until you were content before inviting you to sit beside him. “Just be yourself, and things will be alright,” he smiled, scanning the room one more time to make sure everything was perfect.

“How can one person have so much equipment,” you muttered under your breath as his eyes darted around. “I feel like I’m about to be interrogated,” you spoke up a little louder causing his eyes to look across at you softly.

“No one’s interrogating you, I promise.”

His hands came forwards to clap before Donghee made his usual introduction and then moving onto introduce you. You could only manage a wave in the direction of the main camera to begin with as he began to unbox the phone that he would be reviewing.

“I used this to film a video for our anniversary recently, so I thought I’d tell you guys what I thought about it,” he told the viewers, twirling the phone around in his hand.

With your anniversary just a couple of weeks ago, Donghee decided to film throughout the year several snippets of the things that the two of you got up to together on the phone, compilating it into the perfect video to look back on as you celebrated your anniversary together.

“I didn’t even realise you were filming me most of the time,” you chuckled, “that’s how compact the phone is, I didn’t even notice you were carrying it around.”

“It was really handy to put in my bag to film things,” he added, smiling in your direction. “Clips of the video will play throughout this video so you guys can see for yourselves how clear the shot was and also how good Y/N has looked throughout the years.”

Your eyes rolled at Donghee’s compliment as he tried hard to make you feel as comfortable as he could in front of the camera. He knew it wasn’t always your best friend, but the fans had been desperate to see a little more interaction between you both for quite some time.

“Did you like the video?” He asked, “that can help us to review the phone well.”

Your head nodded instantly, “it turned out a lot better than I could have imagined, it really created the perfect memory for us to look back on.”

“It was really easy to transfer all the videos to my laptop too,” Donghee then spoke up, beginning to get more technical. You took it as your cue to sit back a little more as you were often left clueless with all of the terms and smart bits of detail he talked about.

You sat back and watched him with admiration as he talked so effortlessly about all of the items that came with the phone. In front of him, you noticed that he also had a list of all the clips from the video he made that he’d add in to talk about too.

“You can see in the clip from the tour that I made the most of the panorama setting,” he talked through, “that was when Y/N came to visit me.”

“I came to visit you all, but I guess having you there was a bonus.”

“She definitely came to visit me, there’s no way she came to see any of the boys.”

Your head shook as Donghee continued to fire questions at you in order to get plenty of content filmed including you too. If there was anyone that knew how keen the fans were to see you, it was him. He’d often scroll through his comments section and see your name appear plenty of times from the fans for a cameo from you.

“I definitely think recording on this phone helped to create the perfect video,” he began to summarise, “it’s light, easy to function, and takes some great photos too. Although, I had a great model to begin with anyway, so that definitely helped.”

“You’re never usually this cheesy, so stop showing off for your fans.”

He gasped across at you, resting his hand against your thigh. “I’m only giving the fans what they want,” he chuckled, “I know that none of them are going to be listening to me talk about the phone anyway, they’re all going to be talking about the fact that I finally managed to get you in a video.”

“If I was them, I’d be looking at you a lot more than I’d be looking at the phone too.”

“Now look who is being cheesy,” he continued to tease, pinching gently at your leg. “I reckon we should wrap this up before we end up making the fans cringe.”

“That sounds like a good idea to me,” you smiled sitting back yet again as you allowed Shindong to bring his video to an end, pinching your leg when it was time to say goodbye.

As soon as he clapped yet again, he was up on his feet to turn all of his equipment off and save as much of the battery as possible. You couldn’t help but sigh in relief that the feeling came to an end, relieved that it had gone as well as you wanted.

“It’s going to be so much fun editing this for the fans,” he spoke up, taking a seat back beside you. “I really appreciate that you came and helped me with this, and I’m sure that the fans are too.”

You leaned across and pressed a kiss against his cheek, “I enjoyed it more than I thought it was, I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I’d be.”

“You’re quite the natural in front of the camera,” he acknowledged, “maybe we’ll have to do some more reviews together in the future. In fact, there’s a new camera that is being sent to management, maybe we could check it out and see what it’s all about?”

“How about instead of you filming me this time, I get to film you?” You proposed, “you’re always filming others, it’s about time the fans got to see more of you.”

His head nodded at your suggestion, “I like the sound of that very much, let’s do it. We’ll go out, and you can take some photos, without any input from me.”

“So much control,” you laughed, “I just hope I do a good enough job to get my work featured on the coveted ShinDongDengDong YouTube channel.”

“You’re my girlfriend, so I think I’m obliged to include your work on my channel,” he teased.

“I’ll take whatever I can get.”

---

Masterlist

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom, season 3 episodes 3-6 thoughts!

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-johnny was actually pretty civil with danny and left when he asked! thats nice. also, SKULKER?? HAD A FRAMED PICTURE OF EMBER?? oooo fuck wait had they established they were a Thing Before?? I dont think so. thats weird. its like that country boy/goth girl meme lmfao. I think i am going to choose to ignore this new info and pretend I didnt hear it. 100% unrelated to the jazz/ember fanart I already drew and posted....😳

-LADIES NIGHT EPISODE THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. wish it didnt really center around the guys or them being pissed at them, but. willing to bet this was written by men lol

-THEY ERASED ALL THE MEN??? meanwhile, jack and danny are fishing at. silent hill or something. im glad jack is trying to read a parenting book and making an Attempt. (theyre at lake erie, but, they made it actually eerie...thats fun)

-the girls alt outfits...cute. EMBER MADE A NEW SONG TOO!!! kinda. jazz being one of the backup singers and being AWFUL. NOOOO

-'how are we going to get kitty to blow a kiss?' 'she'll have to think there are still some males in town!' ...i dont know how to break it to you, but I dont know that a 100% het girl would wish for all men to Begone. I think. I mean im not a het or a girl so I dont really know for sure. she Is probably Bi tho. esp having the other ladies in town chanting NO MEN!!! excitedly............(then again, the kiss is to get Rid of men, so, she probably would have blown it at the ladies only if they were actively trying to attack/stop them, so...I MEAN. THE DRESSING LIKE DANNY BIT WAS SO EXTRA)

-I feel like an all female cast ep couldve been way way way way cooler than that was. like. why was it still somehow all about Men. ...anyway. (where was valerie...)

-next ep opens with the observants, and, way way more of them than I expected...existed? I mean I guess them being a council/jury of some kind is what I expected from their first appearance (bc at that time they were basically TELLING clockwork to kill danny, not asking,, so I figured they had SOME kind of authority) but. there were so many. anyway, here goes vlad! letting his own hubris go brrrr. releasing a weather ghost for political gain! #justvladthings

-okay say what you will about him (he IS an asshole) but having an umbrella with his own face on it and more prepared to share is SUPER FUNNY. and him being fanned by huge wads of money by his bodyguards. SO ineffective but so Dramatic. He UNDERSTANDS that if youre rich you need to be. you know. obnoxious and kinda eccentric about it! fuckign hate when rich people are boring about it. I would trust vlad with nothing except to not be a boring rich asshole who wears...fucking khaki or some shit. man knows his Presentation Skills. and that 'V' chair in his mayoral office. is that fucking embroidered?

-maddie get your MAN PLEEEEASSSE. IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HER. the way jack stays simping for this man. in FRONT OF HIS WIFE!!!! ...my god its like a love triangle. jack clearly loves vlad, who loves maddie, who loves jack. jack fenton is at the very least bi, right................. this is an OBSESSION . 'THE V MAN COMETH'???? i...my god. (also, on a serious note, to have a friend THIS SUPPORTIVE...and still be SUCH A DICK TO HIM (TRYING TO KILL HIM AND STEAL HIS WIFE??) NOT COOL VLAD. JACK IS YOUR 1 AND /ONLY/ HYPE MAN. if someone loved and supported me THIS HARD...LIKE. CMON DUDE.

-STOMP the fucking GAS, JACK

-this would make a great shirt design, looks like a metal band design! we love The Maelstrom

-oh, so vlad did in fact get a mansion in amity park. and its purple! good color choice! not as flashy as a CASTLE or MURDER CABIN, but still pretty eccentric, which I appreciate.

-...vlad knows the difference between picasso and da vinci? in the ep last post where we were watching him fail at conquering every historical time ever he didnt seem to know history well enough to like. be effective...was vlad taking art history at college?? (was he an art MAJOR??? we never DID KNOW WHAT HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR. I kinda assumed business because in the masters of time ep he was still rich without ghost powers so he had to have..known something about business or something, right...but also, art and or theater FITS HIS PERSONALITY. possibly also something science-y, I guess, but I always felt like he got roped into that, esp how pessimistic he was about the ghost portal in the flashbacks to college, like, i felt like he was just there for maddie and was uninterested/un-invested at the time...)

-THIS GHOST JUST ELECTROCUTED MADDIE (THE CAT) BITCH!! THATS MY FAVORITE MADDIE!!! vlad going after vortex and being ~shocked~ .....WHEN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!

-the way this random man with a camera sees the mayor laying in an alley covered in TRASH AND DECIDES TO TAKE A PICTURE HAHAH

*snap* this ones going in my cringe compilation!

-vlad 'if we're going to defeat vortex, we're going to have to do it together!' *immediately dips after dropping danny off in front of vortex* JKASDFHKJHJKN

-DANNY CAN DUPLICATE!!! ...he couldnt even attack with it, but he DID IT!!! INTO (4) OF HIMSELF!!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!

-'THE ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS OF A TEENAGER THREATEN MY PLANS!' ...0 self awareness of his own dramatic moodiness. incredible, how dumb this man is. its very close to circling around to endearing, if he was less of an asshole. at least its very very funny to see danny shooting him with tiny lightning bolts anytime he's even slightly irritated! vlad you should be nice to danny anyway. this is what you GET

-...making sandwiches and ice cream and playing video games with your nephew is a totally normal thing. WHY is vlad acting like this is the end of the world. if you were a GOOD UNCLE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THESE THINGS!!! bitch I make my nephew food all the time and dont forget what he does and doesnt like. if u didnt know danny didnt want tomatoes, thats on u. if u, a grown adult, are gonna piss of the 14 yr old by not letting him win, u deserve to have to pay for the arcade machines he ruins because he now has uncontrollable storm powers because YOU THREW HIM INTO A FIGHT WITH THE STORM GHOST. fuck u vlad. paypal me $400,000 while ur at it tho. (also, gamer vlad confirmed)

-VLAD CAN COOK THOUGH???! I assumed he had...people working for him that did that. I mean. billionaires usually dont do that. then again, we've only seen those vultures working for him (and I guess the dairy king was AT his old mansion, but it was never really clarified if he worked there...I think he probably just Hung Out and they Enjoyed Cheeses Together. thats what I think, I dont think a KING would be working for anyone and also the dairy king was nice <3) but then again he would be a private person and we cant have anyone accidentally finding Ghostly Things, so...still, that's hilarious. pour one out for that really cute banana split that got ruined 2 seconds later

-vlad just fucking picking danny up and THROWING HIM AT VORTEX TWICE WITHIN LIKE A MINUTE. JUST ABSOLUTELY LAUNCHING HIM. BITCH THATS MY SON BE CAREFUL!!! HES GOT ORGANS AND THINGS!!!!

-danny seeing those animal commercials and feeling sad is the biggest 2000s throwback so far. i legitimately had to change the channel or walk out of the room when those came on bc id CRY AND BE SAD ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS AFTER. fuck those commercials and fuck that IN THE ARMMMS OF AN ANGELLLL song 😭

-'vlads ego almost got the town destroyed!' yes danny thats the entire episode. the entire series anytime vlad shows up honestly. this episode was just him being really embarrassing the entire time, and, me laughing about it. 10/10 would laugh at him again

-NEXT EP WE HAVE A SHAPESHIFTING GHOST?? I've said it before but shapeshifting is the power I would want when asked those 'what superpower do you want' questions...its the Best power! this guy looks like a homestuck character. ive never read homestuck but thats the vibe

-I love every time we see tuckers family, they are by far the most functional family. and dash has a lil chihuahua!!! named pookie!!! i am crying (I've had 3 chihuahuas, so I am very biased, but...) AND HE WATCHES THE ROMANCE CHANNEL WITH POOKIE. POOKIE I WILL DIE FOR YOU YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY.

-danny can lift a bus! I shouldn't be surprised, but i am proud of my son. hes got lil kid fans. i am going to cry about this

-JAZZ KEEPS A SCRAPBOOK WITH DANNY'S LIL HEROICS AND NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS!!! we've actually seen it on her floor before, but I didnt realize it was a scrapbook!! thats sooo cute.

-...and danny has to stand there listening to his parents saying danny phantom sucks and is a 'filthy ghost' and calling him egotistical...i am once again stealing their kids!

-THIS GHOST RIPPING JAZZ'S SCRAPBOOK!!! ILL KILL YOU. SHE WORKED HARD ON THAT!!! BITCH

-yes, maddie, the one with red eyes is For Sure Actually Your Son. ignore the, red eyes... (CLEARLY she hasnt watched the other 2 eps where danny has been evil, she doesnt know red eyes= evil!!!)

-'billy fenton'.......................

-danny being stuck as phantom in his own house, no way out is a fucking NIGHTMARE. his parents pointing giant weapons against him and SHOOTING AT HIM. THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE.

-NINE INCH NAILS POSTER.

-this is the most screenshot of all time

-amorpho turning into mr. lancer because hes 'someone no one will want to be around' BUT HES WRONG, I WOULD BEFRIEND AND HANG OUT WITH MR LANCER SO FAST.

-tucker dressing as danny, now I have the full Tucker set of him being sam and also being danny. also saying 'the ghost...uh...RIPPED MY FACE OFF.' and then running. SMOOTH. NOT AT ALL CONCERNING TO ANY PARENTS.

-sam accepts the toast from jack. and then 2 seconds later is like 'why am i eating this.' THIS SHOWS HUMOR IS SO UNEXPECTED SOMETIMES ITS REALLY GOOD. and then the scene after, mr lancer running into his ghost doppelganger and being like 'YOURE GORGOUS' THEN FAINTING. I AM CRYING. AND DASH FAINTING TOO.

-sam disguising herself as danny again to help tucker run from the fentons. but leaving him shirtless in the streets. incredible. 'plEASE DOnt NOTice MY FACELessNESS I MUST LIVE IN EXILE' this episode is destroying me the humor in this show is exactly my brand of corny and cheesy

-the impromtu story made up by danny and amorpho to explain stuff to the fentons. my god they are both such bad liars. but amorpho is a good egg. wish danny wouldnt have said he didnt wanna see him in town again!! I want him to be reoccurring. not that thats gonna matter since I'm almost done with the series, but the idea of this being the Only Time We See him is :(

-NEXT EP SAYS STARRING MARK HAMILL??????!!! hello ! mr . joker....mr. star wars.... I feel like I should be. idk. taking off a hat im not wearing in respect. I shouldnt be surprised tho bc hes in a lot of cartoons as a very good voice actor, and dp has already had a lot of talented ones so I've been looking out for ones I might know, but....mr. hamill....

-sam has her own greenhouse, names all the plants, and says thank you to them (in the languages from where the plants are from) whenever she harvests from them. thats SO cute. and her lil gothy lunch box...

-and danny's lil red fuzzy lined jacket!!! ive said it before but every time the characters get alt outfits im like :D

-danny has ice powers now!!! THATS WHAT FROSTBITE MEANT. HE KNEW SOMEHOW WAY BACK THEN

-THIS SHOW NEVER LETS YOU FORGET VLAD IS A BILLIONAIRE, HUH.

-danny's lil 'holy hibiscus!' first off the 50s batman swearing is hilarious. 2nd. my username is from the flower sanchoyo hibiscus, so, shoutout to ME this ep. hi :)

-EURGH UNDERGROWTH MAKING EVERYONE PLANT ZOMBIES. HIVEMIND PLOTS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. and this dude made the city SO overtaken so quickly like how long was danny asleep?? oh god

-evil fucked up sam! now the whole trio has gone evil at some point! the voice actress did a really, really good job with making her sound like a zombie...

-frostbite's paws are so so so big compared to danny. oh my god. i want to hug the snow dog...

-the far frozen has an advanced medical stuff!!! very cool. very smart snow dogs

-im so glad danny has a friendly ghost snow dad to explain this new power and teach him!!! this is so sweet. DANNY'S GHOST SENSE WAS A PART OF HIS ICE POWER?? OOOH. COOL. we love a training montage!!!

-danny saying if he cant defeat overgrowth, that he'd want to stay with frostbite...oh my god...do you think this is the first real supportive adult figure in his life (I am NOT counting his parents because they threaten him on the daily even if they dont realize it.) I mean mr lancer is a Teacher, but he was also nice but this is different, but this is a GHOST WHO IS WILLING TO HELP HIM with his powers and also will help him when hes injured and is so so nice and comparatively so much more mature than 90% of the adults in this show!!!! god. dad frostbite is my everything.

-the framing and lighting this episode, and all the angles...they went all OUT and it looks really really good. this is my nightmare scenario, tho. like, FUCK zombies and dead city zones and hivemind shit. and using the humans as 'nutrients for the children' i am going to THROW UP.

-MALEFICENT VIBES WITH THE HORNS AND GREEN EYES! this costume kicks so much ass. sam is now mark hamills daughter, I guess.

-danny's ice powers making his eyes blue!!! thats neat. and him going for the roots underground was SO SMART. i will not stand for danny ever thinking hes stupid, hes SO smart.

almost done with the show... :"( thats a sad thought!!!

[friendlylocalwriter]

Chapter 2 of The Quiet Stranger

Pairing(s): Geralt of Rivia x fem!reader

Warnings: None

Requested: No

Prompt: You live a quiet life in the forest with your mother after the fall of Cintra, selling grains and produce to keep enough coins for survival. When your mother leaves for a long journey to the market, you're surprised to meet a white-haired stranger in dire need of help, and even more surprised by how you feel about him.

Word Count: 2916

Chapter: 2/?

Previous Chapters : Chapter 1

A/N: Hi guys! I had so much fun writing this chapter, and I’ve already started planning the next one which’ll be much longer and spicier ;) I have a Superman request that I will hopefully be filling next week, and I want to write a Mando fic while we get tortured wait for the s2 trailer to release! As always, reblog + comments are so welcome, and this is posted on my AO3 @/violettaren. Love you guys <33

Geralt slept for the entire day and through the night. 

You weren’t surprised, though. You assume that whatever fight he had gotten into, which he seems intent on not telling you about, must’ve been intense if they were able to get that good of a gash on him. So you let him rest. And, you weren’t averse to stealing a few glances of his bare chest rising while he slept on your cot. You spent the first day of his arrival tending to the garden and trying to ignore how your mother would feel about you housing a stranger in your shack. The guilt only increased when you slept on your mother’s cot, tossing and turning in your sleep as you remember all your mother told you about not letting anyone in. 

You woke up the next morning before him, and rushed to change out of your nightgown. You chose a linen white skirt that hit just above the knee and a long sleeve off the shoulder black sweater that was a bit too thin for the humid Spring weather, but you’d make do. As you take your hair out of your ponytail and attempt to tame it, you wonder why you’re putting so much effort into your appearance, since he’ll be gone tonight anyway. As you pass by his sleeping body, your eyes focus on the gray pendant around his neck and creep forward to try and get a better view. 

A wolf. Interesting.  

You jump when he shifts slightly and immediately move away, not looking to be caught in such a compromising position. As you clean through the cot, you try and rack your brain to see if you remember ever seeing that necklace when you were in Cintra. But, like most things, you simply cannot recall much of anything from your childhood. 

Maybe it’s in the books.

After you glance over to make sure Geralt is still sound asleep, you tip-toe to the back of your shack where a large, old locked box resides. Your fingers toy with the lock and you make sure to get it just in that right position to…

You sigh in relief when you hear the quiet click of the lock opening. You lift the lid and remove the many tablecloths to find what you were looking for - the mangled brown leather journal with your father’s initials inscribed on the bottom of it. Your father, a sorcerer, compiled an anthology of all the monsters and non-humans that he came across, and it was the only thing of his that you and your mother still had. You trace the indentations with your finger, ignoring the heavy pull in your chest. You lock the box again and make your way to the main table, making sure to sit with your back to Geralt. 

It only takes a few moments of you thumbing through the yellowed pages of your father’s anthology to find that same design that’s on Geralt’s pendant, and the words above it scream at you. 

WITCHER . 

Of course. The secrecy, the wound, the swords, the hair . You read through the paragraphs on the page that describe the process of becoming a Witcher, and the effects of it. You can’t tear your eyes off of the underlined portion at the bottom, describing how Witcher’s no longer feel emotions after they consume the mutagenic compounds and complete their grueling training. It doesn’t take a scientist to understand why your father wrote that. He thought Witcher’s were evil.

“What are you doing?”

You immediately shut the notebook and launch out of your seat to see Geralt standing in front of you, his right eyebrow raised and his arms pressing folded over his chest, his biceps bulging underneath the pressure. 

“God, Geralt, you scared me,” you place your hand over your heart as you try and catch the breath that was shocked out of you. “I thought you were still asleep.”

“I wasn’t. What are you doing?” he repeats, unrelenting.

You quickly run through the possible outcomes of what could happen if you tell Geralt that you know he’s a Witcher. Surely, he wouldn’t wear his pendant if he was that intent on hiding his identity, right? But, then again, he could easily kill you if you try and be more invasive than you already have been. I mean, you just read about how Witcher’s are soulless monsters who only exist to take lives. 

You try to think of something, but you remember that you couldn’t lie to save your damn life. With a sigh, you pick up the notebook from the table and thumb through to find the page about Witchers. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you are a Witcher, Geralt?” you shove the notebook in front of you, and Geralt takes it from you, scanning the pages. You fumble with your hands, hoping Geralt didn’t notice how fake the confidence in your voice was. 

“I assumed you already knew. Is it not quite obvious?”

You scoff, surprised at how easy Geralt’s few words made you feel so naive and stupid. You snatch the notebook from his hand and brush past him, walking back towards the box. 

“You could’ve at least told me,” you close the lock with more force than you mean to, eliciting a loud bang as it comes in contact with the aged wood. 

“Why are you so upset?” he asks, and the simpleness of his question makes you even more pissed for some reason. 

“I’m not,” you retort, standing up and away from the chest. “I just wish you told me.”

“Would you have not treated me? Had you known I was a Witcher?”

You turn around sharply and don’t attempt to hide the confusion on your face. Geralt’s face was tight, the same it always was, but his voice was strained and his eyes were narrowed, the bright amber of his irises much more intimidating than they once were. 

“What? No, that’s not - that’s not what I meant. Geralt!” you call him after he walks away from you, grabbing his bag of weapons. He nearly makes it out of the shack completely until you yell his name again and he stops in his tracks. You flinch when he turns around to face you with one of the venomous expressions you’ve ever seen, his golden eyes boring into you. 

“What?” he spits, his mouth in a snarl. “You read that book. That’s what you all think of me, right?” 

You can’t help the tears that begin to pool in your eyes at the venom in his words. No one has ever yelled at you - even when your mother scolds you, she never raises her voice even slightly. You hated that Geralt was so upset at you for something you didn’t even mean. 

“Geralt, I promise you, that isn’t what I meant. I’m sorry,” you drop your head, sniffling. If he was going to leave, you wanted him to know you didn’t think anything lesser of him. You would never do anything like that.

You hear the clink of the bag of metal hitting the floor and an exhale come from the man in front of you.

“Stop crying. Please,” he folds his arms over his chest, and you can’t tell if the statement comes from guilt or annoyance.

“Of course I still would’ve treated you, Geralt,” you whisper, breaking the silence that had fallen. “I- I know what that feels like - to not be liked for something you can’t change. I’d never wish that feeling on my worst enemy.”

Geralt says nothing, his eyes locked on yours. 

“If you wish to leave, I won’t stop you,” you empty your chest, trying to convince yourself that you’re okay with that. “But I want you to leave knowing that. I was just scared, I guess. I have not seen anyone in ages, let alone someone like you - but that isn’t a bad thing. Not to me.”

Geralt still doesn’t speak, but he tears his eyes off of you to sit down on your bed.

“Are you upset with me?”

“No,” he murmurs, wincing as he tries to move without tearing the stitches. “I’m not.”

“Good,” you move forward and crouch in front of him, picking up the bottom of his shirt so you can take a look at the stitches. You look up at him to make sure he’s okay with it, and you take his stoic expression as a yes. You see that the stitches are healing quite nicely, but you also notice the dirt and grime that has gathered around it and on the rest of his stomach.

“When was the last time you bathed, Geralt?” you graze your fingers across his abdomen, cringing at the dirt that gathers under them.

“Bathing is a luxury for me. I do it when I can.”

You kiss your teeth and stand up, shaking your head. “A luxury? Nonsense, it is integral. A basic human right.”

“Well, I’m not exactly human am I?” Geralt counters, and you furrow your brows in confusion.

“If you are implying, Geralt of Rivia, that you do not need to bathe simply because you are a Witcher,” you pause to dramatically sniff him and make a sour face, “Then you are terribly, terribly mistaken.”

“Alright, enough.” he waves you off as you snicker proudly at your joke. “There’s no bath in here anyway.

 “I know a place.”

••••••

 You focus on the crunching of your feet on the leaves as you lead Geralt towards the river that you use to bathe. The moist dirt tickles your bare feet and you move the tall green weeds out of the way as you breathe in the fresh air, letting it fill your chest.

“The air is so clean because of all the trees. I love going back here.”

“Hmm,” is the only response you get from the man behind you. You briefly look back at Geralt with a smile.

“Such a man of few words,” you say after a few moments, your voice low. You’ve begun to not let the lack of detail from Geralt sting, since it seems that he won’t be opening up to you with his life story any time soon. In fact, you found an odd bit of comfort in his presence - somebody who doesn’t feel the need to fill the silence with empty talk. So you accept it and make your way to the river with the quietude heavy between you.  

Even though you’ve been to this river so many times, it never fails to take your breath away. The water is a remarkable pale blue color, and it’s so clean that the light reflecting off of it is almost blinding. Old, decaying logs are littered throughout the bank of the river, spotted with green moss. As you get to the end of the worn trail where the rocks leading to the body water begin, you look up at the blush pink early morning sky and bask in the soft hum of various insects. 

“It is nice.”

Realizing that Geralt talked to you of his own volition and not just because you spoke to him., you feign surprise and look at Geralt with an exaggerated face of shock. “Wow, he speaks!”

Geralt rolls his eyes but you catch the smile on his face when he drops his head. A grin involuntarily makes its way onto your face, and you gesture towards the beautiful river.

“Well, here it is. I’ll go back to the garden and come get you later, alright?”

“You’re not going to bathe?”

Your cheeks and chest immediately get hot as you think of the idea of being so close to Geralt in such an intimate position with no clothes on, imagining the water droplets trailing down his chest and onto his-

You clear your throat and try to remember how words work.

“I was, um, just going to bathe after you were finished. So, uh, yeah.”

“Wouldn’t it just be quicker to bathe together? Wastes less time,” Geralt shrugs, placing his bag with his sword on the ground and reaching to pull off his shirt. “And I’m not sure of this road. Wouldn’t want to get lost.”

Huh. I guess that makes sense.  

“Well, only if you’re okay with it.”

“I proposed it, why wouldn’t I be?”

Not knowing what to say, you nod in agreement and watch him peel off the rest of his clothing. When he looks back at you, you don’t have a chance to explain why you were staring before he asks why you aren’t undressed.

“Uh, close your eyes, please,” you ask, toying with the waistband of your skirt.

Geralt laughs, like really fucking laughs, after you say that, but you can’t seem to find the humor in what you said.

“Geralt. I’m serious.”

“Fine,” he says with a chuckle, making his way towards the river and, after testing the temperature with his foot, glides in with his back facing you. Relieved, you take off your top and skirt, deciding against removing your undergarments, which included your underwear and a light tank top. You’re suddenly very conscious of your body and the way that it looks - no one has ever seen you like this. You force the anxiety out of your head and join Geralt in the river, giving him permission to turn around once you’re submerged up until your shoulders.

“Have you still got a shirt on?” he gestures towards the white strap that is peeking out from the water. “Is that not uncomfortable?”

“No,” you shut down any attempt at continuing that conversation, running your hands over your forearms to scrub off any potential gunk. The two of you naturally fell into another silence, enjoying the cool water as the sun started to rise, glaring down onto the river. The silence permeates for God knows how long until Geralt asks you a question.

 “What did you mean earlier?”

“Hm?” you turn at the sound of Geralt’s voice. “What are you talking about?”

“You said you know what it feels like. To be judged.” Geralt moves closer to you, causing ripples in the water. 

“Oh,” you sigh, mentally preparing yourself to tell a story you’ve never spoken about with anyone after it was relayed to you.

“My father,” you start after some moments, “He was a sorcerer - he was born with magic inside of him and had no proper training, but he was still incredible at his craft. Instead of working for the royal family, he decided to help the impoverished who lived near our home. He would heal them, mentally and physically, for quite little money. He took a few jobs under Queen Calanthe that granted him the coins to feed us, but that wasn’t where his heart was. He wasn’t interested in pointless politics,” your voice starts to break as you blink rapidly, attempting to keep it together. You notice Geralt’s expression soften, his jaw releasing from the clench it always seems to be in.

“And when Nilfgaard attacked, he didn’t fight. He stayed in burning buildings and ashy rubble, looking for anyone who needed help that wasn’t a priority to Cintra. And when he was found, he was trying to help a young girl whose leg had been caught under steel. He didn’t even flinch when he was struck, he just kept trying. He never stopped, never - it wasn’t in his blood,” your mouth opens to continue but nothing comes out except for a sob that racks your whole body. Your head falls in your hand and you cry and cry, forgetting that Geralt is standing in the water in front of you until you feel two large arms wrap around yours, enveloping you in a tight embrace. You stiffen instinctively at his tight grip, but let yourself melt into his arms and the water, grasping at his biceps. 

“He sounds like he was a good man, Y/N. You should be proud,” he reassured you, releasing his tight grip and lazily running his hands up and down your forearms. You nodded, not wanting to remove your face from the crevice in Geralt’s neck

“I understand the - the pain of loss,” Geralt says quietly, and you look up, expecting to hear more. Yet you see Geralt staring out straight in front of him, his expression unreadable, and you know that’s all you can squeeze out of him. You're okay with that, though. 

"I feel like I've cried more in the last few days than I have in years, Christ," you laugh, trying to wipe the tears off of your face but realizing the effort is futile as your soaked hands make your face even damper. 

Geralt says nothing but he brushes his thumbs across on your arm, and you register that he's still so close to you. You tilt your head up to look at his face and your eyes fall on the red scar on his cheek, the skin around it slightly raised from the inflammation of the cut. You slowly bring your hand up to his face using your index finger to lightly ghost over the cut, tracing the shape. Geralt closes his eyes as you continue running your finger over the left side of his face until the pad of your finger gets to his jawline, and you pull your finger away to point the pad of your finger in Geralt’s face.

“See?” you prompt with a smile, waiting for him to open his eyes. “All clean.”

[bluepenguinstories]

Remoras Full Chapter XXVIII: Drought

When I left the room, there was a swirl of thoughts and emotions swept up within me, yet at the same time, it was a violent quiet that dared not to show itself.

None of those thoughts came in a cohesive enough manner to put into words. Yet as I sat out in the hall, across from Ray’s desk, an epiphany swept over me.

“She said she was unable to care,” I let the words out and a chuckle followed. There was nothing funny about it. Ray looked over to where I sat.

“Were you expecting any different?” He asked. Once again, a chuckle escaped from me. Dry, more like a cough than a laugh. My eyes were sore as well, but I was sure that I hadn’t caught her pneumonia.

“No,” I admitted. “That’s not it.”

“Something’s bothering you, though,” he observed.

I nodded. For a minute or two, I sat in silence. When I opened my mouth once more, my words didn’t echo confidence.

“She offered to pretend to be my friend. Hell, lover even. As long as I was okay with it not being real. In the beginning, I might have taken her up on such an offer. But now…” I didn’t complete the words. It would have gone something like “...I don’t know what it is I’m after.”

“I see. You would have preferred it to be real, wouldn’t you?” He asked.

That seemed a little too obvious to warrant a straight answer from me.

“Ray, do you think I’m wasting my time here?” I asked instead. He sat up, from his previous slouched position, and looked just a tad surprised.

“You cannot waste time, as time moves regardless of action, and no action is wasted, no matter how small,” he answered in typical Ray fashion. “Anyway, why do you ask?”

“It’s just that I came here originally because of my obsession with her. She was hot, I mean, she still is, and I found her attractive, well, I still do. Err...I saw her as this larger than life figure, while I was just a small fry with all these wild ideas about her. I came here with the goal of wanting to be near her at all times, wanting her to notice me and give me attention, wanting to be like her...and yes, I wanted her to care about me. But if she offered that same thing to me back then, I might have said something like ‘oh wow I get to be your little toy’ or something stupid like that,” all of those words came out in a bitter rant.

“It doesn’t seem all that long ago that you were like that,” he acknowledged.

I clenched my fists as my arms rested on my knees. There was a sense that if I could muster up such a passion, I would yell out whatever the next series of words happened to come out of my mouth.

“Yes, I was overbearing and pushy at times. Yes, I was also confused when I thought I knew what I wanted. I’m glad I met her, I don’t regret that. But I regret the way I was toward her. She didn’t need that, she didn’t deserve that. We’re different people and I shouldn’t force her to feel a certain way if she doesn’t. Jeez, what’s wrong with me?” I lowered my head and shook it.

“First of all, I think you’re being too hard on yourself,” he lectured. “Second, yes, you and her are different people. Just as you and I are different people, or you and Sunny. Last, I hope you can acknowledge how much you’ve grown.”

“I don’t know if I can,” I admitted.

Maybe by offering such a thing to me, Remora was trying to fulfill my goal, or what she thought my goal was. If only I could have seen it that way. I could have declined and said that just knowing her was enough, but it didn’t feel like enough. Then again, what was? She trusted me enough to tell her such things, and it was to be expected that she would say such things, as she was still recovering. Yet I reacted in such a harsh manner.

If I just waited things out for a few more days, everything would return to normal. But as I tried to picture what that would look like, I just couldn’t. I left school to be with her, left behind a friend, and discarded my old self. It wasn’t like I could just go back to that life and forget about all of my experiences, but I couldn’t picture myself in this current life either.

Or rather, I can picture myself in this current life, but I need to know if that’s what I want.

“I’m thinking of going back home,” I declared at last.

“If that’s what you feel is right, then I support your decision,” Ray replied.

“What about you guys?” I asked, not as sure about my decision as I thought I was.

“Of course we like you around. But that shouldn’t matter: it’s your life, not ours,” he affirmed. That seemed to be all the permission I needed to return home, although I was sure he’d tell me that I didn’t need his permission.

What ‘home’ could I return to? It wasn’t like the university would take me back, and I hadn’t talked to my mom in...months? Almost a year? Even then, we weren’t super close. From out of the kitchen, I heard the pounding of Tigershark’s shoes stamp against the floor as she rushed into the back. Then, as if she were a targeted missile, she darted in my direction until she was right next to me.

“’Sup?” I faced her.

“I made chocolate walnut cupcakes! Do you want one?” She had a glint in her eyes that made it near-impossible to refuse. Yet refuse I did.

“Sorry, not interested.”

She made a pouty face, but then brightened up within a second.

“We can chase each other around for old time’s sake! Or go outside and throw things at each other outside! The weather’s pretty nice right now!” She suggested. No doubt about it, she wasn’t bereft of ideas.

“Are you bored? Or lonely?” I asked. It was clear it had to be one of the two.

“No, but you haven’t been loud and funny in a while, it might help you feel better!” She grinned.

“Thank you, but I’m fine. I’m not feeling down or anything,” I disagreed.

“Ever since Remora got sick you’ve been looking like you need some cheering up,” she added. I guess that I could see. All that stress and worry. Even when Remora lashed out, all I was focused on was her well-being.

“Okay, you got me there,” I relented.

“So you’ll be loud and smile now?”

Yes, she was a kid, but damn was I confused as hell.

“You know, if you knew me before I got here, I was anything but loud. I was quiet and liked to keep to myself. It’s strange that I ever got this way,” I explained to her.

“If you’re loud now, you must have been loud then too and just didn’t know it!” She proposed and folded her arms against her hips as if she were proud of herself for coming up with such a genius statement.

“Maybe you’re onto something,” I mustered up a smile. Even though I knew there was a good chance I wouldn’t see her again. As smart as she was, I didn’t feel like giving such an honest answer, but I couldn’t bear to not say anything.

“I’m going on an adventure of my own for a little while. I don’t know when I’ll be back, so take care of Remora for me while I’m gone. Make sure she stays out of trouble.”

“Okay! I’ll miss you!” She didn’t let up her energy or high spirits. That was a relief.

“I’ll miss you too,” I echoed her sentiment.

She then yawned. “I’m going to take a nap now.”

As Tigershark ran off, I made a little wave her way, then got up out of my seat.

“That’s a lot of responsibility to put on a kid,” Ray told me. Probably in reference to what I told Tigershark.

“Eh. You can always tell her to disregard what I said,” I shrugged my shoulders.

“In any case, I wish you luck on your journey,” he replied.

“Thank you. I don’t want to say that I won’t ever come back, but I want it to be something that I want for myself.”

“Of course.”

“Before I go, could you let Remora know that I’m not mad at her? I know it probably won’t matter much to her either way, but I want it to be clear that I hold no ill-will toward her.”

“I’ll pass the message along,” Ray assured me.

When I found that I had nothing more to say, I went into my room and pulled out a bag to put what little clothes I had into. When it came down to it, there wasn’t much to take with me. Considering I warped to the arctic with Remora on that fateful day with most of my stuff back in the dorm, the clothing and accessories I had acquired were gifted to me from Ray or Remora. The former insisted that if I were to stay there, I needed the necessities. As for the latter...it was funny how even in the beginning where I would have readily believed her not to care (and I wouldn’t have minded the fact), she still helped me out when she didn’t have to.

After I slipped into a red jacket, I made my departure.

Outside housed nice weather indeed and I could make out the clouds in the sky. Make no mistake, however, it was still cold. More than that, the winds were as strong as ever. Despite all of that, there was a dryness to everything that couldn’t be ignored. An arid landscape. Even the wind, as strong as it was, felt dull.

As it was still day, I noticed the airport out in the distance, and I took heavy steps toward it. Unease filled me and the cold crept its way up from my heel to my ears, but I soon disregarded it as my thoughts were more turned toward the many memories I had accumulated at the diner. How soon they may fade. How I would miss everyone.

How I would miss Remora, even if I would rather not think of her so much. Despite all the positive experiences, the only thing that would stick was our most recent conversation. Where she wanted me to listen and understand her point of view, but I thought I already did. Even if it turned out I was right, it didn’t feel right.

From there, more memories followed of the mistakes and the blunders I made around her. Cringe compilation, if you will. Not that I wanted to view such things in a negative light. It just couldn’t be helped. For that reason, it solidified the resolve that I had to go. If nothing else than to make up for the mistakes I’ve made.

As I approached the airport, I pulled out my phone and called the number I had been avoiding for so long. It didn’t matter anymore.

After a few rings, I heard her voice.

“Demetria? Is that you?” She sounded surprised, not distraught. Good. I wasn’t sure if I could handle her being more emotional.

“Hi. It’s me,” I answered as I walked through the doors of the airport.

“How’ve you been? It’s been so long, hasn’t it? How’s work been treating you? I know you said you’ve been really busy, but I’d love to hear from you sometime. Still, I’m sure the research you’ve been doing has been valuable, and I’m glad you get to follow your passion.”

Passion. Right. Whatever that once meant.

I let her talk for a little while longer as I stood in the halls of the airport. I didn’t care who heard, though there were few people around regardless. There never were a ton of people, now that I thought about it.

“Well? Are you still there?” She asked. I drew in a breath.

“Mom,” I answered.

“What is it, dear?”

“I lied. I never took up a job studying marine life in the arctic. I dropped out of university midway through my master’s degree because I had lost interested in my studies. I went to go work at a diner in the arctic just so I could be near someone I had a crush on.”

“I didn’t think you were into that sort of thing,” she commented, almost incredulous at the notion. Not that I could blame her.

“Yeah, me either.”

“Oh, well at least you found something else you wanted to do instead.”

It sounded like she was trying to save face. That wasn’t her job.

“Not really. I thought I knew what I wanted, but I don’t. It didn’t work out and I’m lost. I’m about to leave this place as we speak and I don’t know where I’ll go. I just called to tell you the truth about what I’ve been up to.”

“Will you be safe?” She asked.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. I figured I would, but I also didn’t have a plan. “Mom?”

“Of course. Would you like me to come pick you up once you arrive at the nearest airport?”

“What is it, dear?”

I didn’t need to, but knowing her, she wouldn’t have taken no for an answer.

“Sure,” I replied, but that didn’t feel complete. “Mom?”

“Yes?”

“I’ve been a terrible daughter.”

“No you haven’t. You’re independent, resourceful, and intelligent. I couldn’t be more proud of you.”

Those words sounded like empty flattery, but it still left me choked up. Yet despite that, no tears came. Just as they never did.

“Thanks, mom.”

“I assume you’ve been taking care of yourself. You are safe, aren’t you?”

I gave a chuckle.

“Of course. I wouldn’t willingly put myself in danger.”

“Good. So when can I expect to see you?”

Like I could actually give an estimate on that. Math was never my best subject.

“It might take more than a day,” I guessed. “I’m not sure yet. I might stay at a hotel along the way.”

“Okay. See you soon. I love you, kiddo.”

“Yeah, you too.”

I hung up and put my phone away. When I looked up, I jolted as there stood Cybele, right in front of me. Her appearance was the same as I’ve always seen her: blue blouse, blue dress skirt, and blonde hair in a thick ponytail off to her right side. She pursed her lips and had a sullen look about her. It didn’t seem to fit her at all.

Well, isn’t that convenient?

“Sorry, I overheard your conversation,” her voice turned soft but with a honey-tinged gravel to it that made it sound like she was holding back tears.

There’s no need to cry for my sake. I’m not worth it.

I shook my head.

“That was my bad. I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings. I could have picked a more private location.”

“That’s okay,” she brushed off.

My attention was fixed on her. Even if it wasn’t, though, there weren’t many other things to note in the airport: it was strange how low the lights always were. How empty and lifeless it often felt. Store fronts and kiosks with items, a few people here and there, but very little to indicate human activity.

“Can you take me home?” The words escaped from me. What I meant to say instead was that I knew she couldn’t without Ray’s permission, so I would pay for a regular flight. That would’ve been foolish, as I didn’t have that Helena Handbasket passport. But I hated what came out instead, as it made me sound like some lost child. Just what I didn’t want to be.

When she didn’t give an immediate answer, I added:

“I’ll pay you. I have money. However much you want.”

That was more direct.

“No need for that,” she answered at last as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. “This one’s on me.”

“Are you sure?” I asked. It was less about being sure about taking me and more about not accepting the money.

“It looks to me like you just went through something rough,” she commented. I couldn’t disagree.

“You could say that.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” She pressed.

“No. I just want to go home.” If that was rude, it was unintentional. There just wasn’t anything to bring up. What was there to talk about? I encroached upon a territory that was never meant for me. I tried to enter someone’s life that I had no business being in. Sure, some may have said that I made progress, but said progress didn’t erase the actions that were already taken. Then, to top it off, I expected her to feel something toward me. There was more to it than that. I was sure. But my thoughts were more focused on my wrongdoings and my emotional reserve ran dry.

“I understand. I’ll get it ready.”

After a few minutes where I stood in silence, she returned and motioned for me to follow her to the plane. As I stepped up the stairs to get inside, I was met with that familiar chill of the cold air.

“I’ll turn the heater on soon, just bear with me,” she reassured, although I didn’t need any such reassurance. It was nothing but a passing discomfort.

There were a few rows of seats, less than a regular commercial airline. Tables in between each row, probably for meals. Hungry or not, I planned to sleep the whole trip through. I sat at one of the window seats in the middle of the plane.

“Where we going, anyway? New Hampshire?” Cybele’s voice echoed as she asked over the intercom.

“No! A few states down and a little to the left!” I called back.

“Cool! I know where that is! We’ll get there in a few hours! Now, hold on tight, the taking off part’s a bit bumpy, but once we’re in the air, it’ll be smooth sailing!”

Yes. That was how most flights went. Didn’t know why it bore repeating as if I’ve never been on a plane before. Hell, as if I’ve never been on her plane before. So wouldn’t you be surprised when sure enough, the take off was bumpy, and indeed, I held on tight.

...Why did I even bother going over that?

Well, it didn’t take long for us to get up into the air, and once we were settled into the sky, I took it upon myself to go to sleep. As restless as my mind was, it was actually rather easy. Almost as if the only reason my mind was so worked up and in a negative frame was because it was protesting for me to let it get some rest.

Blue sky, clouds. Some kind of gray tint covering the entirety of the atmosphere. Green grass in front of a house. Yard, two squares, one pathway to the front door in the middle. It was a yellow house, and the front door, a murky hue of mahogany, was covered up by the one who stood by it. She watched me, her gray hair in curls. Her arms crossed. Yellow shirt, blue jeans.

I sat in the front yard in my overalls. I dug up dirt with a plastic shovel. There was something I searched for. In between digs, I clawed through with my hands. At last, I brought it out from the ground and ran up to the woman at the front door: my grandmother.

“Look! I found it for you!” I grinned and held up the fish bowl in my hand. It was much too small to house the fish, some kind of betta, but the young me didn’t care.

“The back door is covered with ants. Soon they will breach the inside,” my grandmother informed me in a static-filled voice.

We marched inside and I carried the bowl in until I set it upon a coffee table. It soon grew to a ten gallon tank. There was a bowl of cereal on a checkered tablecloth atop a circular table. Her kitchen was tiny, cluttered with spices. Only one person could fit inside at a time. There was a mouse the size of my grandmother making a sandwich.

My grandmother stood next to the backdoor, which I saw it now covered in bees. Not ants.

“Can you tell me more about fish?” I asked.

“No one loves you and they never will,” she yelled. Those last few words echoed as the ground below us split open and shook.

“Grandma!” I panicked.

She then said something else, but it came out all radio static. Then –

– I jolted up. There was a thump upon the plane.

“Sorry about that!” Cybele’s voice came in. “Slight turbulence! We should be good now!”

God. Damn. My heart pounded against my chest as I clutched it and breathed, almost heaved out breaths.

Not good, I thought as I regained composure. Damn near had a heart attack and there I was dreaming about things I would have rather not remembered.

Sure, some parts were an obvious fabrication of the dream. But it didn’t matter what fucked up jumbled nonsense my brain threw in, remembering her at all was the most painful part of all.

There was a reason I chose not to think about my family very often. Be it my siblings or my mother. I’ve never been close with them, nor did they leave any impression on me. There was only one person in my family who I was close with, and even then I preferred not to think about her. It was easier to let her stay in the past. Dead folks don’t make for very good conversation partners.

Cybele came out from the front of the plane. I refrained from using the word ‘cockpit’ as it always seemed like a funny word to me and didn’t do much to describe what it was.

“Are you okay? Need anything to drink? I’ve got teas, coffee, sodas, ales, you name it,” Cybele offered.

“Just water,” I groaned. There was the slightest hint of a growing headache.

“Right away.”

Just great. Now that I was awake, I doubted I’d be going back to sleep.

When she returned, she handed me a cup of water, then sat against a seat in front of me and leaned her head over the top of the seat.

“I don’t mean to pry, and if you don’t want to answer, that’s fine, but was it a break up of some sort?” She asked. Despite not wanting to get into it, I answered anyway.

“Something like that,” was my dry reply.

“Those are always tough.”

Maybe it was just the fact that they were on my mind and wanted out, but I ended up divulging more to her.

“Thing is, can it really be called a break up if we were never together?” I mused. It was a genuine question, though. I really didn’t know the answer.

“Well, you can still have break ups with friends. Take it from me.”

Yeah, I know. Seeing as how things ended with Proserpina. Damn, I had a shitty track record.

“We weren’t even friends. I don’t know what we were. We just occupied the same space.”

“Still hurt though, right?”

“Yeah, but I don’t know why.”

There was a pause. She didn’t know how to respond, I could tell. Neither could I. After about a minute, I couldn’t stand the silence. Not while she sat there ready to listen, anyway.

“I think I really did like her. Like, yes, I was attracted to her. But I also saw who she was as a person and I wanted to be closer with her.”

She nodded without saying a word.

“Take what I’m saying with a grain of salt,” I added. “I’m not too sure of myself. Like, I’m not too sure of my sexuality, but I’m pretty sure I’m gay. I think I’m pretty gay. That said, I’ve only been attracted to one woman, and that fell through, so now what?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. It came out like a nonchalant play-dumb “I dunno,” though I doubted she meant it that way.

“Have you ever been in a relationship?” I asked, now curious.

“Yeah. A couple of ‘em. Both of them girls. They both ended, though, and I’ve got my own issues to deal with.”

“You mean you’re a lesbian too?” My heart just about leapt. Not what I expected, but that was good news, right? A peer?

“Err…” She looked away. “No. Sorta. I’m bi. I’ve never been with guys, but I’ve been attracted to some here and there. I tend to like the dumb stoner types. Anyway, that’s not really important. I’d probably be fine being with anyone as long as they’re nice to me.”

“That’s valid. I think.”

When I thought of it, I didn’t really know what was and wasn’t “valid”. Couples...gay or otherwise, they’ve never really made much sense to me. Little professor me in my head began her lecture:

“And if we break it down, we’ll find that friendships don’t make much sense, either.”

I didn’t think there was a professor out there who could teach me how those things worked, nor how people got them to work.

“How do people do it? Have friends, get into relationships, all that?” I asked.

“I don’t really know,” Cybele answered. Gee, that ought to have been a catchphrase of hers.

“Haven’t you been in relationships, though?”

“Yeah, but doesn’t mean I’m good at it. Just cause I’ve been in a swimming pool, so to speak, doesn’t mean I can swim.”

“You can’t swim either? Hashtag relatable,” I retorted.

“Yeah, but I was being metaphorical.”

“That’s a bad habit to have,” I raised my index finger and informed her.

“I can’t help it, I’m a poet,” she puffed her cheeks.

“So you’re pretentious?”

“What?!”

I shrugged.

“Aren’t poets pretentious snobs who think their cheesy rhymes are the best thing since slice peppers and want you to worship the coffee shop floors they walk on?”

She looked incredulous, head tilt and all. Absolute flabbergast over there.

“I’ve never heard that one befo – what?”

Like hell I was about to explain myself, so I just shrugged again.

“Anyway, it’s good you have a hobby. And have friends. And have been in relationships. I don’t know whether or not to envy you, but even though it’s something most people have anyway, it’s something I’m not good at, so I hope you don’t take it for granted.”

“You know, if you want, I can be your friend,” she offered.

“I’m not sure right now…” I admitted. Sure, the thought was nice, but I didn’t think I wanted such a commitment after what happened with the last person I tried to be close with.

“That’s fine too. Here, I’ll give you my number. It’s your choice whether or not to text, but if you ever want to, I’ll be there. You can even ask for a ride, and if I’m able to do so, I’ll pick you up. Doesn’t matter where you are.”

“Thank you, but why would you do that?” I asked. That seemed like such great lengths to go for someone she barely knew. Not to mention, I didn’t deserve any such kindness.

“What can I say? I’d like an excuse to fly around,” she flat out admitted with a cheeky smile to boot. Then she added, “I’m sure Ray won’t mind.”

Ray. He was the last person I spoke with before I left. Not Remora, but Ray. It was strange, not so thematic, but life wasn’t some novel. It wasn’t like I was part of some story and if I was, it would have been a terrible one. No, as far as things went, those past several months I lived there might have amounted to just a blip on an otherwise uneventful life. If I was being generous, I could have said it was fun while it lasted, but not every memory was a fun one.

“How much longer ‘til we’re there?” I raised the question. It sounded like I was a child asking, “are we there yet?” Hell, that’s pretty much what I asked.

“Just a couple more hours, I reckon! I’m sure I’ll get back to the arctic later this evening!” She crossed her arms and looked triumphant.

“Wow, that soon?” I was surprised, but a little nervous as well. There would have be difficult conversations had with my mother. Conversations I hadn’t yet rehearsed for.

“Indeed! This plane is faster than a speeding bullet train, more powerful than a pollo loco!” Cybele mused.

“That doesn’t sound all that impressive after all,” I dismissed. Then a thought popped into my head and just as fast, I voiced it: “I know this plane’s on auto-pilot, but shouldn’t you be watching to make sure we’re safe?”

“No way! We’re totally safe...probably,” Cybele tried to reassure, but that last bit concerned me.

“Probably?”

“I mean, definitely! This plane’s like a flying roomba!”

“That doesn’t instill any confidence,” I informed her.

“Aw, man! Well, I’ll think up a better analogy one of these days!” She then waved her finger around as she turned back and headed toward the pilot room (that’s what I was gonna call it) in a sort of sway that reminded me of the laidback and carefree attitude Ray seemed to have when I was still new to life at the diner.

At the risk of another nightmare, I allowed myself to drift back to sleep. When I awaken, I might have arrived home. Whatever that word meant.

We landed by the woods next to my hometown – as I took those steps out of the aircraft, I stretched my arms and legs and let out a series of yawns. Trees rustled nearby. Birds brawled with their aggravated chirps against loose branches. I drew a deep breath as I took in the crisp air. Such a small detail that I really took for granted all those years I spent with my nose buried six feet deep into a book.

...Oh well, I wasn’t about to stop taking it for granted now. Let someone else appreciate the fresh air. I’d rather live out the rest of my days underneath a pile of blankets with the curtains closed than go outside and deal with all the BS Mother Nature loved to throw around.

“Well, I’m going to start heading back, but I hope you take care and I’ll really miss seeing you around!” Cybele called from behind me. Her parting words.

I turned and saw her frame standing at the door to her plane.

“Why?” I asked in response.

“Because...uh...it was nice getting to know you?” She seemed about as unsure as she should have been.

You barely knew me. We only crossed paths a few times, and even then, hardly spoke.

I waved goodbye to her and backed away as the plane took off.

Leave it to other people to say confusing things just before taking off.

Once her plane left my eyesight, I pulled out my phone. Things will be different this time, I told myself. Truth be told, I wasn’t a calling-person. Nor was I much of a texter. But if I had to pick between the two…

Me: Hey I’m here. I’m at Laurel Hill. You know that park, right?

Mom: Oh wow that was faster than I thought. Ok. I’ll be there in 30. Maybe 45 depending on traffic. No more than 50 though. Promise. Love you.

(Note: I like that she didn’t question why I wasn’t at the airport)

I sat down at a nearby park bench. Underneath my feet were little wood chips which served as a makeshift trail. Behind me were a gang of large trees: maple, evergreen, alder…just kidding, I couldn’t tell trees apart. For all I knew, there could’ve been a cherry blossom in a parking lot nearby and I’d just be like “yep. That’s a tree.”

Speaking of trees, my middle name: Sycamore.

“When the pizza pie hits the sky, that’s sycamore,” I mumbled. Really, I just started thinking of random little tidbits to pass the time. I forgot how boring it could be to just sit.

Still I did.

I crossed one leg over the other and pulled out Bernadetta, my yakutian knife and tossed it into the air, then caught it. After a few tosses, I looked around. Good gravy, it would’ve been embarrassing if someone had watched me do that. They might have thought I was some kind of delinquent or something. Luckily for me, the park was awful (in a good way) quiet.

I pulled out my phone and checked the time. Only a couple of minutes had passed. It was at that point that I knew I was in it for the long haul. So, if I could just get myself to sit still (maybe I could practice meditating) and close my eyes, maybe I wouldn’t be so concerned by time and the torture that comes with it.

I’ve droned on about the boring details long enough: however it is I made it through that near-hour long sit, I did, and what snapped me out of my blind trance was the blare of my mom’s car horn.

Could you get any louder? One more decibel and I might go deaf.

I took my silent stroll over to her black sedan (that’s what I’m guessing it was, seeing as I didn’t know car brands and all that. But good on me for recognizing that it was black) and before I could get in, my mom rolled down the passenger side window.

“Hey! It’s so good to see you!” Excitement poured out of her voice with a sickening smile. Her Goldilocks curls, pudgy cheeks, dimples, and slight wrinkles really gave the impression that she should’ve been a baker. Like one of those faces on a box of cookies. Not sure whether that was a compliment or not, but it was what it was.

“Yeah, uh. You too,” I replied, then got into the car. As soon as I did so, her excitement continued.

“Oh wow, I haven’t seen you in so long! Your hair is so green, what the heck? Proserpina told me about it, but I never got to see it! You know what you remind me of?”

Hesitant, I asked:

“...What?”

“Medusa! You know Medusa, right? Oh gosh, I should’ve named you that!”

“Why is that what came to mind?” I groaned. Then added, “that’s such an unflattering image. I wouldn’t have done the same to you.”

“It’s not unflattering! Medusa’s real cool! She’s a total girlboss!”

“Just stop. Now.”

I leaned my head against the window (now rolled up, courtesy of me) and shut my eyes. Really, my mom wasn’t bad, but...what was a good way to put it? Well, she was like that.

“By the way, I got you some spicy barbecue kale chips. They’re in the glove box. Dunno why it’s called that, seeing as I’ve never stored my gloves in it. Figured you’d like it. Also, you wanna stop anywhere to eat? I bet you’re hungry! There’s a new place called the Bowl Hole. All veggie stuff. Beans and corn and rice.”

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Great!”

She turned the keys and we took off.

“You doing okay? You look a bit sulky,” mom seemed concerned.

“Mom.”

“Yes, dear?”

“No. I’m not.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

Other than stating my order at the drive-thru of Bowl Hole (seriously, who came up with that name?), the car ride was silent. Not another word was spoken until we got home.

“Well, looks like we’re here,” she announced as she parked next to the curb by the apartment complex. We both headed out of the car and I looked up at the rather...uncomplicated complex.

“What happened to the house?” I was a tad surprised, even if the dullness of my voice would have suggested otherwise.

“Since all my kids moved out, I didn’t see much of a reason to have all that space. So I sold it and moved here. Don’t worry, there’s a guest room...which never gets used because I never have any guests over. But hey, I got your stuff from your dorm room since I always figured...or hoped...that you’d come back.”

She looked about ready to tear up.

“Mom. I’m here,” I really wasn’t good at the whole comfort thing.

“I know. It’s just that I was worried, y’know?”

“I’m sorry.”

“We can talk about it once we’re inside, okay?” Her voice weakened, and although she smiled, it wasn’t the same level of excitement as before.

I nodded. There was no getting around it: I’d have to talk about it. She deserved that much.

Once inside, I set my things down on the floor, then took to a chair next to the dining room table. Mom, on the other hand, took the couch. First thing I noticed when I walked in was how dim it was. All the curtains closed, all that. While my poor eyesight said no, my aesthetic said yes.

For a solid minute or so, we just stared at each other in silence. Neither of us really knew where to begin, but she wouldn’t let it go until it got done. At last, she opened her mouth to speak:

“When you went missing, I really didn’t know what to make of it. I called campus security, I put up missing posters. I took time off work and I searched and searched and that sounds so desperate, but I assumed the worst. I didn’t want to, but it didn’t seem like you to just disappear like that. I even got in touch with your roommate and she didn’t know either. All she had to say was that you had been acting strange.”

“Why did you go through all that trouble?” I was bewildered. It didn’t seem worth the effort.

In response, she scowled for a brief second, but then turned to an immediate look of sorrow as she pursed her lips.

If you’re mad, just say so. I can handle your disappointment, I can’t handle you being sad because of something I did.

“Because I care about you!” Her words squeezed out of her, desperate.

“I’m fine. I wasn’t in any danger. It was my own choice and nothing bad happened to me,” except getting your heart broken, but that’s kind of stupid compared to whatever things she was worried about.

“I didn’t know that. For all I knew, you could’ve been dead. Then, finally, after a couple of agonizing months, you say you’ve been really busy with a job as an arctic researcher and like a fool, I think ‘great! She’s putting her education to good use!’ But then Proserpina pointed out that it sounded fishy, like something someone being held hostage was forced to say. I didn’t want to believe it. I took your word for it.”

Right. That whole ‘go ahead, just lie to them’ thing Ray encouraged me to do. Well, something was still better than nothing, but that something was probably a case of too little, too late.

“I tried to tell her that wasn’t the case, but I guess I wasn’t very convincing. Oh well, it was a lie, anyway.” I realized how nonchalant that sounded, so I added, “which doesn’t make it any better. The last thing I wanted to do was make you worry about me. I just didn’t know what to say, and so for the longest time, said nothing, even while I knew that would make things worse.”

She nodded. I thought if I squinted, I could see a faint outline of what looked to be streaks of tears, but I didn’t want to imagine such a thing.

“I’m just glad you’re here,” she spoke in a croaked near-whisper.

“If it helps to reassure you,” I offered, “I can give Ray a call and you can talk to him.”

“Ray? Is that who you ditched school for?” Her accusation (if it could even be called that) disgusted me. Ew. Just ew.

“No. He’s way older than me and married. Plus not my type. He’s just the manager of the diner I worked at. You might find it hard to trust me, given everything, but Ray’s not some shady guy.”

“What’s the name of the restaurant?” She pressed, as if ready for an interrogation.

“It doesn’t have one.”

“And you don’t find that suspicious?”

“Okay, so maybe that’s a little sus. But if you looked it up on google maps, I’m sure you’d find it.”

“Where’s it located?”

“In the middle of nowhere.”

“How am I going to find it if it doesn’t have a name and it’s in the middle of nowhere?” She pulled that “gotcha” question out of her hat and I had no choice but to concede.

“You got me there.”

She looked apprehensive, taking short glances across the living room, but then finally relented.

“All right. I’ll have a talk with him.”

That sounded so formal, like some parent-teacher conference. But in any case, I got out my phone, pressed call next to his name in my contacts, then handed her my phone.

I didn’t expect to speak with him so soon, if at all. But at least I could ease my mom’s mind by letting her speak with him instead.

After a few rings, it appeared that he picked up, and since I wasn’t in on the conversation all I got was:

“Hello.”

“No, I’m her mom.”

“Yes, it’s nice to meet you too.”

“Yes, she’s well, she’s with me right now.”

“She says your restaurant doesn’t have a name.”

“Oh. So it does. That’s neat!”

“Oh, Ray, you charmer! I thought you were married!”

“Well, it was pleasant speaking with you. I just wanted to make sure you were legit.”

“Yes, I’m really relieved.”

“Well, good evening to you, then! Take care!”

She hung up and handed the phone back to me.

“So? How did it go?” I would have been lying if I said I wasn’t curious.

She smiled before saying anything else.

“He seemed pleasant. Also,” she raised a brow, “he said the name of his diner was the Remora’s Full Diner.”

I was taken aback by the last bit. I almost shook, and I was in disbelief.

Why would he say that? Is he trolling me? Or did he really decide on that name? If so, why?

Fine, I decided. If he’s going to pull that trick on my mom, then I’ll just have to play along.

“Indeed,” I lowered my head. “The reason I said the diner didn’t have a name is because I’d rather not think of that name.”

“Why not?”

“See, for whatever reason, the one I had such a terrible crush on, the whole reason I went there in the first place, was also named Remora.”

“Oh? That’s an interesting name,” she remarked, then asked, “how did you two meet?”

“At an aquarium.”

“Oh, so you two had something in common.”

I shook my head.

“No, not exactly. Sh –” I stopped myself. Here I was about to describe someone I no longer wanted to think about for the sake of my mom and I totally forgot one key detail. So I cleared my throat, then in the most dramatic weighty voice I could muster, added, “mom, I have a confession.”

“What is it?”

“I’m gay.”

“Okay,” she replied. That one word response, so casual, caught me off guard.

“You’re okay with that?” I asked. Her confirmation came in the form of a snicker.

“Hun, most people in this family are gay. It doesn’t really surprise me,” she then laughed before adding, “I’d be more surprised if you told me you were straight.”

“Oh! Then I’m straight!” I retracted.

“Are you just looking for a reaction?” She questioned, her eyebrow raised. I slumped down and in defeat, admitted, “yeah…but for real, I’m gay, though.”

“And this Remora person?” She brought the conversation back on track.

“Yeah. She was tall. Muscular. Not much for talking. Had a serious look to her that drew me in. But because I was new to feeling such things, toward anyone, I stumbled and acted like a fool. I was obsessed and I followed her, and I know that was wrong and I was acting on impulse. Even so, I hoped that we’d grow closer over time. But that’s the thing: I don’t think I was looking for something physical, or even a relationship. I just wanted to be close with somebody.”

I drew a breath. Somehow that was more difficult to say than coming out. But then again, those things probably got over-dramatized in media.

“That does sound tough.”

My mouth went dry. If it wasn’t already.

“Toward the end, it really did seem like we had gotten closer. I had gotten more confident around her, we seemed to be more comfortable around each other and I really grew to care about her as a person. During our final conversation, she explained all of the things she went through during her life, and then told me that even though she wanted to, she just wasn’t able to care about me.”

“It seems like she’s got things she needs to figure out as well,” my mom suggested.

“Maybe. But I can’t force someone to care, nor should I try to.”

“I can only speculate based on what you told me, you know her better than I do.”

All life seemed to be drained from me as I sat and thoughts swirled around me about how I wished that everything was different, that I was different, that I knew what I wanted and who I wanted to be and how cruel I was to have latched onto someone for the sole purpose of feeling some vague sense of closeness when I didn’t even know what that meant.

It was stifling, it was silent, and even though I thought I could feel my face tense up, no tears formed nor shed.

“You seem pretty composed about the whole thing,” she noted.

“I feel like crying, but I can’t,” I replied. “It’s like I went through this whole emotional bout and it’s affected me so greatly. It was so important to me, and I felt hurt. But instead of bursting into tears or getting angry, it’s like all the negative emotions I’ve felt stirring have evaporated and I’m left feeling nothing. I don’t know why.”

“You’ve always been that way,” she informed me, “I remember back at your grandma Acacia’s funeral, you were the only one who didn’t cry that day.”

Ah. Another memory I would have rather not thought about.

“I wanted to. She was important to me,” I replied.

“I know.”

“But when I looked into the casket, I felt nothing. It was like ‘she was alive, now she’s not’. As if her death meant nothing to me.”

“That’s not true. Maybe you didn’t cry, but I could still tell it affected you. I remember when you were little, you may not have been the most social, but you were full of joy. Afterward, you shut yourself off much more. To me, I thought maybe you were more content to be left alone, even though I still tried to get you to spend time with me now and then.”

“I always thought you were really pushy…” I countered.

“Even if so, I didn’t want to be too pushy. If anything, I wanted to give you your space.”

To think that I had treated her kindness as being overbearing. Maybe it was, but I wasn’t sure if I ever took the time to think about why she did what she did nor consider that it may have been her being considerate. That was just like me, though: back before I ran off, I seldom paid attention to the outside world and when I did, I judged it all in negative terms.

“Thank you. I’m sorry,” I managed to tell her. It wasn’t much.

“That’s okay. Can’t control how actions get interpreted. Let’s put that past us, yeah?”

I looked away from her, but gave a single short nod.

“Hey, does Proserpina know that you’re back?” Her voice returned to the cheeriness and less of the somber tone it was just a second prior. If she was going to be casual, then so would I.

“Nah, we had a fight. That bridge has long since burned down.”

“Aw, just one fight did it? I’m sure you guys can patch things up.”

I crossed my arms and shook my head.

“I’ve learned my lesson: friends and I just don’t mix. I’ve never been good at that kind of thing.”

“Well, I think it would be good if you made a friend, but it’s up to you.”

Yeah. Easier said than done.

After a breath of meditation, she got up, and I followed suit.

“Wanna go check out your room?” She offered, making a gesture with her hand for me to follow her. Not that she needed to. All day has been one source of exhaustion after another. If not a painful conversation, it was being stationary in the air. Or waiting for a car. So I went with her to check out the near-empty room with a lone twin-size mattress covered by a white sheet and situated on a four post in the top right corner of the room and boxes stacked atop each other and blocking the closet’s sliding door in the bottom right.

I assumed the things in the boxes were my stuff from the dorm room. It took opening the flaps of the box at the very top and catching a glance of an image from the cover of a very...specific...book (hint: not fish) to confirm as much.

“Mom, did you look through my stuff?” I had to ask. There was no way I couldn’t.

“I wasn’t about to judge,” was what she answered with when a simple ‘yes’ would have sufficed. In response, of course, I groaned. That glimpse I saw of the book was one by the acclaimed manga artist, Mira, and her subdued depictions of women in love with women. While embarrassing, at least it was family friendly content.

I groaned, and my face matched the atmosphere of a sauna, but it was no big deal. Once I got a proper sleep in, I’d be right as rain (wait, why did that saying exist? Rain isn’t always right. Oh well, I’m sure it made sense to someone).

On the next day, I took to the bathroom and washed the dye from my hair. In the mirror was the old familiar blonde, this time bleached. That was fine, the color would return with time; that sickening acidic and sour look that wasn’t quite gold and wasn’t quite a dandelion. For the time being, I grabbed each end and braided them into twin tails. It was time to return to who I was before I got absorbed into such fantasies.

Before shutting off the light, I removed the contacts from my eyes and placed them on the bathroom sink. Knowing me, I’d probably forget all about them and accidentally swipe at them when I were to reach for the soap and I’d end up sending my contacts down the drain. For now, anyway, I put my glasses on and turned out the light.

When my mom saw me on her way to leave the house, she froze in place, startled as if a stranger had entered her house.

“What happened to your hair?” She asked. Funny that she would ask that, seeing as that was the hair she should’ve been more used to.

“You don’t like it?”

“That’s not it, I just thought you looked cute with the loose green hair look,” she explained, then added, “you looked punk.” Which didn’t really seem to add anything, as it’s not like I was going for anything subversive. If anything, I just wanted to look cool like an anime character. There wasn’t much more to it than that.

“Didn’t I look cute before?” According to her, not me. I’d never call myself such a thing.

“Yeah. It’s fine either way. As long as you’re happy, that’s what matters. It’s your body, not mine.” She then headed out the door and gave me a wave and parted with, “okay, bye now!”

I waved back and muttered, “have a good day at whatever it is you do.”

Then I stood at the door, alone in the house. Apartment, to be more exact. There was a rush I felt being alone, which didn’t make much sense as 1) I was an adult 2) I’d most likely do the same things alone that I’d do if she was home and 3) I was usually left alone anyway, so why did it matter?

The answer was that it didn’t, but that still didn’t stop me from feeling a sense of liberation. My first impulse took over and I jumped over the couch from behind and stared at the TV screen upside down. Naturally, my glasses fell off, with either gravity or the force of my landing being the culprit. Too bad for me, I wasn’t about to play detective. Instead, I reached for the remote and turned on the TV, something I never really saw myself doing before, but hey: why not? I had nothing better to do.

As soon as I turned it on, there was a scene that played out of a woman in her minimalist (I didn’t count a single piece of furniture or decoration) and bright lit house as she strolled over to the door in an eerie plastered smile, yet something told me it was supposed to be part of the saccharine charm. She opened the front door and there was a delivery guy with those brown short shorts and fanny pack, and he also had that disturbed smile. Oh, and he held a package and gestured for her to take it.

“I have felines for you!” He announced.

“What?” She asked.

“You ordered kittens through our delivery service!” He explained.

She placed a hand on her chest, fingers spread, and went, “oh.”

Then, after she took the package, she reached down and picked up a box. She smiled at the delivery guy and there was a noticeable blush as she held up the box.

“I have felines for you, too!” She seemed to overflow with joy as she handed him the box. “I bought these kittens online, but they’re defective, so I’m returning them!”

That whole scene barely lasted a minute, but it was enough for me to mouth the three words, “what the fuck?”

I clicked info to see what I was watching and the title came up on the screen with a description. ‘Gotta Love Pussy’ it said, and apparently it was one of those early 2000s extra cheesy romantic comedies. In other words, good luck if you’re lactose intolerant.

I changed the channel. Now it was some kid’s cartoon called ‘Dino Might’. There was a volcano with a smiley face that announced to the dinosaurs on the ground, “I lava you!” As it erupted and poured down lava which engulfed two of the dinosaurs. One of them, a Brontosaurus if I’ve ever seen one, looked to the other one, which was probably a Stegosaurus, but hell if I know.

“I’m in lava with you!” The Brontosaurus told the Stegosaurus.

“I’m in lava with you, too!”  Stegosaurus (or whatever it was) told the Brontosaurus.

Again, what the fuck?

I changed the channel. Again.

There was an underwater scene with various schools of fish and a narrator that sounded much like Nigel Thornberry.

“Finally, some good fucking TV,” I proclaimed and was about ready to throw my hands up and cheer, along with a huge sigh of relief, when the narrator began to describe a certain fish: one which looked like it had a shoe’s soles imprinted on its head.

“The remora attaches itself to the tiger shark –” I didn’t even let it finish. I just ground my teeth, groaned, “god damn it,” and changed the channel.

There was a commercial on for an eye doctor. An optometrist, if you will. He stood next to several pairs of glasses on a shelf.

“Hello, my name is Dr. Ike Air. Here at Naked EyeCare, I care.”

I shut the TV off at that point. It was all junk.

Instead, I went back into my room and looked around: minimalism. Quite nice, reminded me of that first thing on TV, except I doubt I would ever get a tall woman with huge, muscular thighs offering me kittens and telling me that they have felines for me. But while I didn’t have boxes of kittens, I did have boxes. Boxes that needed to be sifted through.

“Now, there’s a lot to unpack here…” I muttered.

So I got to work and unearthed plenty of yuri manga, textbooks, notebooks, unopened cup noodles (mom, why did you save those?), bottles of hair dye, brushes, and various articles of clothing. Then, the grand prize: my laptop. Something I never really used much except for school assignments, but who knows, it could come in handy sometime.

After dumping all those onto the floor, I also threw myself to the floor.

“Ugh...cleaning. Work. Why?” I bemoaned.

Loathe as I was, I picked myself up, then did the same with the items. I would organize them one way or another. Parts of me felt like just throwing most of the stuff away. Books like Citrus were kind of trashy, I had to admit, and I could have done so much better. Most of those textbooks were about fish, which I no longer held any interest in. Hair dye seemed like something that would go unused, as that’s just not who I wanted to be anymore.

But then I got to thinking and I could try and sell any of the books I didn’t want to keep. As for the textbooks, I considered keeping it, as if my goal was to return to my old self, I would have to dive into some of them in order to do so. Then I eyed the various textbooks and I was reminded of school.

‘Maybe you can use the money to return to school,’ Remora’s words slithered into my head and I tried to shake them off, but it was no good.

“No. I can’t go back. Not yet,” I told myself. However, there was one thing I could do with that money which was related to school.

I checked how much money I owed in student loan debt, something which shouldn’t even have existed (some good my scholarships did me). It turned out I owed a whopping $30k and so I took some of that cash out of the envelope and put it in a different envelope. My plan? Send it in the mail.

“Okay...so that leaves me with twenty thousand left over...god damn, on one hand, I feel rich, on the other hand, I fucking hate the America education system.”

Oh well. Wasn’t that what I wanted? To get rid of the money that she gave me? That way I could be cut loose from her and forge a new path, leaving her as a distant memory. It wasn’t even that I disliked her, as bitter as I felt, I just wanted to define myself, rather than defining myself by others as I’ve done so many times before.

Soon the room was all cleared out. Part by virtue of not having many items to begin with, other part due to throwing a few things away (all of the books stayed, though. They could have come in handy in the future), and another part due to cramming everything into the closet.

I stood, hands on my hips and proud.

“Now I should think about decorating...hmm…”

Yes, that was an important part of any room, wasn’t it? Even when I was little, I had little tiles in the shape of fish on the walls and ceiling which glowed in the dark. When it came to decorating, I had to consider what it was I was interested in. It didn’t take long for the first idea to manifest and I got to work texting my mom, who coincidentally, was also at work.

Me: Hey, can I hang knives from my ceiling?

Mom: What?

Me: You know, like attach some strings to the ceiling and tie some knives on them.

Mom: That sounds dangerous, so I’m going to say no. What if one falls on your head?

Me: oh yeah, good point. What if I hung myself from the ceiling?

Mom: Excuse me?

Me: Y’know, like get a bar suspended by the ceiling and do sit ups on them.

Mom: I...guess...that would be fine. Just be careful.

Me: Cool beans. Also, you shouldn’t text when you’re at work. It’s bad.

Mom: You’re the one who texted me. Anyway, bye, gotta go, love ya.

Good. I was all set. Now I just had to get a couple of bars and soon I could do some workouts. Why, I wasn’t really sure, but it just seemed like what I was drawn to. Luckily, later in the day, mom came in clutch and brought me some iron bars with the warning to, “go nuts, but do be careful.”

Soon I got myself into a routine where I exercised every day and soon it was hard to do anything not upside down. I did handstands, I read books upside down, I watched stuff on TV upside down. I fell asleep upside down. It was great and also seemed unprecedented as I had no point of reference to explain why I liked doing that stuff.

Days went by with me exercising, eating healthy, trying (and failing) to get back into marine biology, and most important of all: not leaving the house. Not for a lack of my mom trying to goad me into it. She’d often come by and be like:

“Hey, you should get out and make some friends,” or “I know you’re dealing with tough things, but I think it would cheer you up to get out,” and “you should try getting a job so you can make money.”

I had an answer for all of those things:

“Friends and I just don’t mix.”

“No way, the last time I went outside I was gone for almost a year. You don’t want that, do you?”

“Why would I need a job? I’m already rich.”

She thought I was exaggerating or that I was ridiculous for suggesting all it would take was a little time outside for me to go on a year long journey, but I knew better. Yet as much as I resisted, my stubbornness was easily swayed by small gestures.

“Hey, there’s a new smoothie shop that opened up downtown. If I give you a few bucks, will you promise to go out and get yourself something while I’m at work?”

“Yeah, sure, I guess,” I didn’t give it much thought. But as I already agreed, I felt like I couldn’t take it back. Maybe it was the fact that she gave me cash despite the fact that I was already rich. It was just unfortunate how right my assessment of going outside would be.

Once I was home alone, I threw on a purple hoodie, put on some sweat pants, and brought my yakutian knife (not that I thought I’d need it, it just felt weird going somewhere without Bernadetta), then headed out.

It should have only been a fifteen minute walk there and fifteen minutes back. Maybe an hour out at the most, if I decided to drink the smoothie inside the place. Indeed, too, the walk there wasn’t too bad; I got in, ordered a spinach, kale, avocado, and mint smoothie, then got out, smoothie in hand and taking slow walks as I drank it.

This isn’t so bad. Maybe I should go outside more often. It’s not like I’d have to do anything, either. Just go to a park and sit, or go read books at a bookstore, or –

That pleasant thought was cut short as I felt a force slam into me and I dropped my smoothie on the ground. Soon I found myself, pressed against a wall in an alleyway and one guy with combed over blonde hair and a gray hoodie against me. Next to him, I could see another guy in a black sweater with the name of some school in white letters. Both of them were somewhat husky and muscular in build, yet neither of them looked very intimidating, not to mention their babyfaces led me to believe that they couldn’t be much older than high school age, if they weren’t in high school already.

Whatever they think they’re planning, they’re naive at best.

Yes, I wasn’t so much put in fear as I was just annoyed at the prospect. Not to mention, they ruined a perfectly good smoothie.

“Hey guys…” I squeezed out the words, my cheek squished against the granite wall. “I really think you’re making a mistake, so if you let go now, we can just forget about –”

“SHUT UP!” The one who held me against the wall bellowed, harsh spit getting on my ear.

Gross. Sick and gross. Not to mention, bad manners.

“GIVE US YOUR MONEY! WE KNOW YOU’RE LOADED! ORGANIC NUTS LIKE YOU ARE ALWAYS LOADED!” The other one shouted, shrill yet commanding.

Sheesh, in broad daylight, where others can hear you? How stupid can you get?

“...I don’t have anything...I just got a smoothie…” I tried to clear the air, but they wouldn’t get it through their thick skulls and began to search my pockets. That was one thing I would NOT allow.

I stomped on the heel of the guy who held me down and elbowed him in the stomach. Then I grabbed him and held him by the neck as I also held my knife firm. It wasn’t like I was about to hurt him, but I had to show that I wasn’t so defenseless as he thought. It would have been smooth, except I soon heard the click of a pistol and I faced the guy with the black sweater.

“Let him go, give us your money, or I’ll shoot!” He tried to maintain control, but I could sense a tremble in his voice. Obvious fear.

“I suggest you put the gun down and get out of here. You don’t know what you’re doing,” I warned, an icy rasp. He didn’t budge though. Looks like I’d have to explain it to him.

“If you shoot, there’s a chance that you’ll kill your friend. That is, if I don’t manage to slice his neck and use his body as a human shield. Do you want your friend’s death to be on your hands? Because if you’re not careful, that’s what will happen, and I’ll walk free, unharmed. You could kill me, but are you willing to take that risk?” My voice was low and full of weight, something which must have surprised them both as either one of them should have easily towered over me.

He continued to point for a few seconds, but his arms shook. It could have meant any number of things, but he must have weighed the options in his mind as he lowed his hands, his face now full of worry, yet he still wanted to maintain his toughness.

“Come on, let’s get out of here! She’s not worth it!” He told his partner.

As it seemed they were finally willing to cooperate, I lowered my weapon as well, then raised one leg up and gave him a little push in the back with enough force to send him stumbling a few steps forward.

Jeez. Was I always that strong?

“Go on, get,” I ordered, and soon he ran off as well, but not before yelling, “freak!”

Sure, I’m the freak. Not you guys who just tried to rob me.

Once they were out of sight, I walked out of that alleyway and felt a raw sensation on my cheek. I pressed my hand to it and felt its burn sear. When I looked down at my hand, I saw blood.

“Great,” I scoffed. “They scraped my cheek and what did I get in return? Time wasted. I looked down at the ground, saw that green icy substance seep into the sidewalk. I crouched down and tossed the cup into a nearby trash can.

As I walked back home, hands in my pocket, I thought how odd it was that such a thing happened. Just like that one day when I met Remora for the second time.

Ah, but that time, there was three of them, and they were the ones with knives.

Mom would’ve still been at work when I got home. Still, however I’d try to hide it, there’d probably be some way she’d notice the trouble I had gotten in. What was I to say? “Smoothies are serious business”? “I fell in some bushes”?

But that would’ve been disingenuous when the truth was worse.

“Sorry mom,” I muttered, “looks like your daughter’s a delinquent.”

No. I couldn’t tell her that. It was a tough situation when I could neither tell her a lie, nor the truth. Worse, part of me enjoyed that chance encounter. Not the being pinned against the wall (unless it was a hot woman, then I’d be down), but being in peril and turning the tide against my enemies. I felt a rush from it that still flowed through me. Nerves in my body chanted and begged for more action. I knew it wasn’t right.

That wasn’t the road I wanted to walk down. There had to be something else I could do that would satisfy. I had only lived in her apartment for a little over two months, and I thought I was doing well for myself, but all I was doing was stagnating. Try as I might, I couldn’t get myself back into fish. Nor could I find any other interest to replace it. All I knew was that I couldn’t put my mom through any more of this. I’d have to figure out the answers for myself, elsewhere.

So I hurried back home and packed a few things. Just the essentials. I thought about where I would go. I had no clue. It was such a rash decision, something spur of the moment, and for once, I didn’t have a set place in mind.

What did I want? Peace? Creativity? Some kind of outlet to keep me from going apeshit?

When I thought of peace and creativity, of all things, my gay cousin Juniper came to mind. It was a stretch, but if I could crash at her place for a while, maybe I could sort some things out and figure out what it was I wanted. Problem was: I didn’t have a clue where she lived, either.

“Looks like I’ll have to ask her brother…” I groaned at the prospect. It was like one side quest after another. But it was a starting point, so I’d take it.

After I was all set, I texted my mom the plan, so she at least knew where I’d be without freaking out, then I turned my phone off.

It was a long shot. I knew that. It wasn’t a proper education, or the adventures I had in the arctic, but that was fine. Those chapters all came to an end. So it was time to put this one to an end as well and start a new one.

[whumpster-fire]

Man, I’ve paid like zero attention to the Five Nights At Freddy’s fandom since, like, FNAF 4 or 5 came out, and today I tried to look up the full lore and timeline, and like... what the fuck is all this shit?

So I guess nothing’s changed in that despite there being multiple books now apparently, nobody actually knows what’s going on, but apparently there’s crazy shit like at least one murderer who’s running the company making the animatronics and designing them specifically to kill people, the killer’s Mike’s Dad or something but Mike may or may not be an actually robot or something.

So I’ve got some really hot spicy takes here that’ll probably get me put into a Cringe Compilation(TM), but w/e.

Hot Take #1: FNAF 1′s lore was actually really fucking good, because (a) while it was vague, it was simple, and both of those things are your friend in a horror franchise, and (b) while it had supernatural / sci-fi elements it was, on a basic level, grounded in reality enough to be genuinely scary.

Seriously: a serial killer using child-friendly mascot costumes at a Chuck E Cheese type restaurant to disguise himself as an employee, and/or an actual employee wearing these things, to lure children away, is scary because it feels like something that could actually happen, like you could turn on the news and there’s this story about this crime happening in some city a couple states away that you’ve only heard of like twice in your life but you know exists. Serial killer hiding victims’ corpses inside the animatronics? More of a stretch. It’s not something that feels like it would actually happen IRL, but that’s exactly the kind of shit that there are real urban legends about.

“Someone murdered some kids in a Chuck E Cheese like twenty years ago and stuffed the bodies inside the robotic mascots and nobody noticed until the customers complained about the smell” is something I would not bat an eyebrow and hearing while watching a “Top 10 Creepiest Rumors About Beloved Kids’ Franchises” video at 2 AM on YouTube or something. Add in the robots coming to life at night and attacking the security guards, and like... FNAF 1 is basically a creepypasta - i.e. classic folklore ghost stories but they’re on the internet now - as a video game. Somebody telling this story as a “I swear this actually happened to me!” first person account, claiming they worked the night shift for a week a while back in college and they saw crazy shit and they were afraid from their lives and it seemed like they got hired because the guy who had their job before them was killed? That fits in perfectly.

Hot Take #2: Every game after that made FNAF’s lore worse - and rarely for sequels it actually retroactively fucked with the original too.

2 and 3 weren’t that bad because they added a kinda interesting backstory and a satisfying ending that tied it all together, but the fact that both of the major events of the original game’s plot - the murders and the Bite of 87 - almost certainly involved an animatronic that didn’t even appear at all in the first game actually retroactively makes the lore introduced in the original game less satisfying by throwing a red herring on obvious leads like: “Foxy has been shut down for years and his jaw seems to be fucked up HMMMMMM...” and “What even is Golden Freddy he’s just a suit HMMMMMM...”

But when you get to the point of having to go... wait a minute, were there two separate incidents where a robot bit someone’s head off? Were there two separate incidents where five children were murdered? That’s a massive red flag that your lore has become a convoluted train wreck and you’ve passed the point where it was time to stop. Not every horror franchise should try to be Dark Souls or Bloodborne with its lore. I’m admittedly not a huge horror fan but I can’t think of a single horror franchise that has been improved by having a massive expanded universe with a ton of lore.

Hot Take #3: Mangle is the scariest animatronic in the entire series. Not because of the fucked-up-ness or because of the static or even because of the probably biting Jeremy’s face off. Mangle is the scariest because they had this piece of extremely powerful, mobile machinery sitting around, with the power on, with all of the safety covers preventing someone from touching something dangerous removed, and they were literally letting small children physically interact with it with no apparent supervision. Yes, let the toddlers play “take apart and put back together” with the exposed wiring on an electrical system that is probably capable of pushing hundreds if not thousands of amps through a conductive object, that’s smart.

Hot Take #4: Mangle is adorable and sad and somebody should give that sketchy death-machine a hug despite what I just said. An abused probably-sentient robot that’s falling apart from being abused by douchebag bratty kids and the maintenance techs just stopped giving a shit and were like “fuck it I hate her anyway, kids do your worst?” This character is perfect for this blog! Also in SL the guard gets to abuse sentient robots with a taser, so more Just Gold robot whump content.

Hot Take #5: IDGAF what this says about how immature my sense of humor is: Five Nights At Fuckboy’s is still a masterpiece and one of the seminal artistic works of the 2010s. I N H A L E.

[leeminomi]

Lee Minho characters being different

It has been claimed that lee Minho is not that great of an actor because most of his previous characters were rich. To that I ask,why doesn’t the same rule apply to people who mostly act out poor or normal middle class characters?

I mean sure most of the characters are well off, they all have different attributes to them and are all extremely different people all together.

Cha Gong Cha

I always laugh until I cry every time I come across run mackerel, it’s absolutely cringe, probably the cringiest but it’s damn hilarious and there’s no way you can keep a straight face during the episode, in this one he is an average high school kid maybe even below average, he comes from a struggling family and he’s eager to succeed and he is all over the place and it’s just so cute and I Stan.

Gu jun pyo

As much as the show is so cringe and cheesy and lovable, this character is the most extreme and memorable one. Gu jun pyo is the face of all snobs and ill tempered rich people, there’s literally no other character that rubs rich into our faces quite like him, and to top it of he has anger issues and all sorts of weird ways of expression that we usually don’t find normal.

Yoon Jin Ho

He is an average guy, he wasn’t rich and he didn’t even radiate the rich air, he wasn’t mean or extra about anything, if anything he is one of the most ordinary of characters with very little to offer and a ginormous ego for someone going through so many work related struggles but I guess it makes sense since the whole story was about getting back what he used to have when he was a kid. Which was a comfortable or rather rich life.

Lee Yoon Seong

He is extremely wealthy due to all the illegal stuff his father got into,and he is super smart and he really doesn’t have time for anything other than revenge in his life(also he is extremely rude) out of all the Korean shows I’ve ever seen, city hunter truly deserves a season two where I hope they’d focus more on the love life of Kim nana and Yoon Seong because it was majorly ignored in the first season.

Choi Young

This is by far one of his very best characters, he was of no notable status and only had his work ethic and sword skill to offer and that was enough, he’s closed off and cool and uninterested and so when he finally gets Eun Soo it’s so satisfying and so lightly put out that it’s refreshing. The story wasn’t forced on us but got laid gently down and I still find it extremely appealing till this very day, Choi Young is the perfect guy, no rich snob vibes and no rude comments or straight up mean comments, he’s just silent and gets things done.

Jong DAE

A whole badass, this is the best of the best, the try hard, dedicated, devoted man. Great at concealing his feelings and really thinks of nothing without concerning it with his family, the whole movie he lives out everything in order to make sure that his family lives a comfortable and somewhat happier life and that included him putting aside the love for his then adopted sister.

Kim tan

Not a big fan of the heirs but I really do love Kim tan and his sad boy asthethic. He’s one of the sweetest and nicest characters. He’s super rich and despite all of that, he doesn’t flaunt it like jun pyo and he’s not rude like Yoon Seong and he is all round a perfect guy just trying to get the girl he likes to like him back despite all of their obstacles, he does all he can to protect her and be there for her. I mean how can we not Stan Kim tan and his boyfriend vibes radiating all over the place.

Lee sun

Lee sun had amazing fight scenes and I can’t even stress this enough , I couldn’t find them and so couldn’t post them but if you do ever watch the movie bounty hunters you’ll appreciate the action scenes and just how satisfying they are. I didn’t really follow the love story very much in the movie and I mostly just remember the little bits of it. He was the average bounty hunter nothing special about him expect the great fighting skills and the handsome face and magnificent build.

Heo Joon Jae

A fashion killer, I loved every single outfit and I wish someone could make a compilation. Heo joon jae is a self made vibrant successful con man, the best there is. In terms of snobbish, there was none of it, in terms of rich boy, he is not so much as a rich boy but more of a guy with money and no real use for it, he’s not crazy about his lifestyle and he doesn’t contsantly blab about his money all over the place to everyone and aside from the occasional “this is my house” lecture, he is pretty nice and easy going. And most importantly he is in love with a mermaid.

Lee Gon

He is the most superior of them all, he is magnificent , he gives me shivers, give me episode 11 when he realizes the prince must have known he’ll check the logs and the walk he does to the tunnels and basically the whole show and his energy and badass vibes, I can’t say it any louder, it’s a serve. His acting ability has just blown past the ceiling and there’s no stopping it, I don’t even know what to say about lee gon, he’s a sweetheart but he’s somewhat lonely and void of a lot of emotion because he spent most of his life being groomed and ruling an entire country from a very early age, he’s not the usual guy in that aspect but as he says “be patient with me, I’m a fast leaner”. He is the king in the very sense of the word and there’s no denying, the character was made for him, it is his and his alone.

[a-lilacsong]

a-Lilacsng’s Live text reaction: Elena's day off

I Drive up to you in my sports Corvette and take off my sunglasses. “Hey so I heard Ixlan’s in this episode, and I want in.” 

((I know I haven't done one of these in forever, but I knew I had to do one for this episode. Spoilers under the cut.)

Sneak 1000 Only 3 days?! Dang. Well it sounds like she's going to invite King Hector, “Definitely can't put him with Abigail” It can't be anyone else 🎵 Who knew they owned 1,000 salad plates 🎵 Oh and there's a cello, Hello cello This is why she needs more secretaries and planners “And we have I don't know how many bad guys out there, building an invasion Squad!” Even Elena's Gene Savvy enough to know that they will crash her party She's been standing behind the plates all day waiting for her cue Doña Isn't even trying to be subtle at this point Oh that's so cute, Mini Royal chairs Put Hector next to Alonso, at least it would be entertaining to everyone else at the party And they all just magically stick to the table I love it, she's actually making a battle strategy, finally! “I made their figures look like Stone because that's the form they're going to be taking at the end of the final battle Hahaha.” Isabel is very disturbed by it as well Holy moly it's like know your friends but know your enemies even better She was probably just using farsight to like see all their features and carefully carve them out And there's no mini Stone Chatana!  But I get it though, wings are hard. Naomi is completely right, you have staff so let them do their jobs!!! She keeps telling Isa to rely on her team and Trust in her team, Because deep down she knows that she's exactly like her. Elena's finally cracking I love the mini Jaquin on the chocolate fountain At this point I'd say put that Fountain out of its misery, you really just don't need it He just cringes at the mention of fireworks, I wonder what happened with that … That ladder is not securely put up,I just feel like she'll end up falling off if it's like that… But wait, don't you already know Elena? They lured her out now quick, Tire her down and force her to relax! Elena, this is an intervention Doña just looks so smug and happy to be the party planner now and you know what, at this point she deserves it. it wouldn't hurt for Elena to just make some battle strategies but I guess if they've been training for a while... And Julio is wearing his fancy vest! Hello darkness my old friend And Francisco's using the gavel now! “-a relaxing stress-free Girl's Day!”  I have Never seen a greater look of concern than the one on Ixlan’s face At this point Isabel can't help but laugh at the irony of it all The jokes in this episode though I see that Sleeping Beauty reference Ixlan is not amused by the silly hats I'm surprised she knows that much about Alonzo (I can just hear the fanfiction being written) Just punch it! Although it's probably an illegal move… It's like they need to carefully quarantine Hector from everyone else, Ixlan picked her up! She can ride a horse! Jaquin water skiing is best sport Beach outfits! Also it's really nice to see Dulce, Migs and the kids again Whoa, she's doing a sacred Meruvian thing No Isabel. You're going to snap her out of the Peace! Well I mean she does seem the super flexible she probably would beat you at any pose Yep, she wins I wonder if the Meruvians did had wars and conquered people, I mean there probably weren't only monsters to conquer That's interesting in the second episode they were trying to emulate that culture, and now she's worried about being culturally offensive  Mingo you're just too Precious That's good, if you bury her in mud she can't escape and grab the sceptre That mud has the consistency and sound effects of jam. “What is wrong with me?” “ I have been compiling a list” Naomi and Isabel are the true villains of this episode They have no sense of Gene savviness whatsoever The ultimate chase scene! Oh no emotion Magic! Ixlan just has the best lines ever Also that's a major fallacy not telling one of your main allies about the whole dress emotions thing, maybe they haven't trained enough. Elena Hated ballet as a kid... let me just write that down for fanfiction purposes... It's just like when everything glitches out in g-mod! Mingo being adorable Everyone gets dropped down gently except for Ixlan “I am adding this to my list of things that are wrong with you!” And everything goes to chaos Then again that's what happens when you make a cake 3 days before the actual coronation, It would probably have gone hard by the day And of course all the decorations have to fall down, of course!!! Poor Octavio, He didn't deserve this He's holding a torch for no other reason other than for things to get lit on fire You don't jump up when there's going to be an explosion you get on the ground! Oh boy they're lucky the bridge didn't blow up Spoke too soon about the bridge Isn’t Someone going to comfort the princess? Good Naomi good Fix the bridge with magic Wait no Octavio could come and save the day! Just fill the bridge with broken fountains! Or just use the crystals, that works too Eek! Doña and Julio Are finally working together! Well that's one way to pave a road Armando and Marlana! It looks like Octavio stayed on after all, now that is true dedication IXLAN PICKED UP DONA! She definitely wins, Without a doubt. Oh Julio

That was a pretty great episode. It was hilarious, We got to see a bunch of characters we haven't seen in awhile and it was nice to see them again! And Ixlan Is officially the best. And of course I've learned as an audience member not to get worried about the party the characters are planning when I'm watching the show because I know ultimately it's all going to be fine. Yes it will all be fine I keep telling myself. It. Will. Be. Fine.

[ladylillianrose]

You’ve Got SPRQS a Max Richman/Zoey Clarke Fanfiction

A/N: I'm so glad everyone is enjoying this idea! Thanks everyone for reading and for your comments!

Shoutout to my favorite beta/cheerleader aubreyrichman

These guys are all Austin Winsberg's property, I'll give them back when I'm done playing....maybe

Summary: CodeRedLeader and PianoMan chat some more

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Zoey kept catching herself glancing at her SPRQ Watch, hoping for another message from PianoMan. She'd received messages from other users, but those were less than appealing. 

Work had been slow all morning, so she decided that it was her turn to initiate the conversation.

"What is it about anonymity that makes people behave like idiots?"  

 She worried her lip while pretending to focus on her monitor.

"I'm almost afraid to ask what happened…. but now you have me wondering."

Zoey couldn't help the smile that crept onto her face.

"You are apparently the only man with a brain and decorum on SPRQS."

"Not that I won't take the compliment, how have you come to this conclusion?"

"Oh, the usual route, collect relevant data, compare and analyze, compile findings."

He sent an emoji of a scientist and clipboard. " For science!"

Zoey giggled, "Exactly. After your message I received a few others and they left a lot to be desired."

"You mean they didn't immediately try and point out how Star Trek is far superior to Star Wars right from the start? Well then what's the point?"

She snorted, shaking her head. "Other than you being completely wrong about that, no they did not. They chose to go the more cliché route…. pick-up lines."

"People still use pick-up lines these days?"

"These guys did, and they were pretty terrible."

"Well come on let's hear them. You can’t not tell me!"

"The first one was: 'Well, here I am. So, what are your other 2 wishes?' " Zoey cringed as she typed it out.

"Yowch. 1990 called they want their line back."

"Oh, that was nothing, the next one was even worse: 'If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.' "

"Gross! What is he a 5-year-old?"

Zoey couldn't help but laugh, she felt better about the sleazy messages sharing them with someone.

Tobin and Max glanced over at her questioningly.

"Just thought of something funny from the podcast I was listening to earlier," she fibbed.

"Would that be the serial killer one? Cause, those are always a laugh riot." Max deadpanned.

Zoey stuck her tongue out at him and turned back to the task at hand.

"If you were a president, you'd be Babe-Raham Lincoln."

She heard Max start coughing as he inhaled his coffee wrong.

"Everything okay, Max?" She asked, mildly concerned.

Max waved his hand and drank some water. "Just down the wrong tube," he rasped.

Zoey arched her eyebrow at him.

"See, all good now," he said, taking another drink of water. "Just forgot how sippy lids work for a moment."

Zoey smiled and nodded at him.

"Okay, now I'm literally in tears from that one. Wow, that wins for most hilarious yet still terrible!"

"Right? It doesn't even make sense because they have no idea what I look like! I could have green skin for all they know!"

"Hey, Elphaba made green skin look good in Wicked."

"I wouldn't know, not a big musical or really for that matter much of a music person. Though, I've been learning more about music, unintentionally, as of late."

"Well, I'll have to record you some piano covers for you to help build on that budding music knowledge."

Zoey felt her face flush, he was going to send her songs. Sure, she could hear people's heart songs, but this was different. He was knowingly willing to share songs with her.

She sent back a grinning emoji and a music note, "I would like that."

"Don't get too excited, they'll probably be pretty rough."

"I don't mind, I look forward to listening to them."

He responded with a blushing emoji. "Careful Red, those kinds of comments are liable to have me spouting terrible pick-up lines."

"You wouldn't dare. There's no way to top the Babe-Rham Lincoln."

" I'm almost intimidated to try."

"Well, if I get anymore, I'll be sure to share them. At least this way I have someone to laugh about them with."

"What, you can't share these gems with your friends?"

"Only the one who signed me up even knows I'm on the app. And my best friend scoffed at the whole idea of a dating app. So nope, you're the only one I can share these delights with."

"Well, then I feel honored to be the chosen one. Only one person knows I'm on here too, and only because he wouldn't stop pressuring me about it. I joined to shut him up...but I have to say that I'm enjoying this far more than I expected."

Zoey flushed with pleasure, grinning.

"So am I."

"Zoey? Zoey?" She heard Leif trying to get her attention.

"What is it?"

"Did you finish checking the code I sent you? We're waiting for your go ahead to input it," he explained raising his eyebrows. 

Shit....She had gotten so caught up in her chat that she hadn't realized that Leif had completed the code and sent it to her an hour ago.

"I'm just finishing my run through now," she lied.

"Welp,duty calls! But talk soon yes?"  

"Of course. I'll send you a song later tonight, if you were actually interested in them, and not just trying to spare my feelings."

"Absolutely, I'm interested! I'll be eagerly awaiting your recording!"

Zoey closed the app, forcing herself to focus on work for the rest of the day.

After hunching over her desk for 5 hours straight, she leaned back and stretched letting out a loud groan.

 Max was standing next to her desk, backpack slung over his shoulder.

 "And, that's our cue to get out of here," he said. 

"Just one more section…" Zoey went to move her chair closer when Max stepped in front of her.

"Nope. It'll be here tomorrow, and it isn't anything that can't wait," he insisted. 

Zoey grumbled, knowing he was right. "Fine. I guess I can finish it tomorrow."

Max grinned, moving out of the way so she could grab her stuff.

"Any big plans for tonight?" He asked as they walked to the elevators. 

Zoey shrugged, "Just a quiet evening in. What about you?"

 "Just got to do some work on a personal project," Max responded. 

"Personal project? This is the first I'm hearing of it," Zoey glanced at him stepping into the elevator.

"Just something I came up with today. I'm pretty excited to start," he grinned.

"So, what is it?"

"I don't want to say yet, I'm not even sure if it will go anywhere. But if it does, I'll let you know," Max assured her.

Zoey frowned, Max usually told her everything, this was a new secretive side to him that she hadn't seen before. But he seemed very eager to begin, and besides he wasn't the only one with a secret.

"Well, good luck with your project," Zoey said, smiling. "I'm glad you're excited for something." 

Max grinned, his dimples showing. "It’s a great feeling!"

"See you tomorrow," Zoey said as they parted at the door.

"Meet you at the coffee shop?" Max asked.

 "If I'm not there, you should probably report me as missing, " she joked back. 

Max chuckled, "Night, Zo."

"Night, Max."