#i guess maybe in case i never get to actually say it to joe

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S02E16 - Flare of the Dog

Ah. Title puns. Okay, fine, that's decent, in my opinion anyway. What a good episode, though. I'm a fan of whump. Did I mention that?

"You know that real cops drink their coffee black". You've only had lattes all season, what the fuck???

Jesse is once again manning the office on his own. I hope they're paying him some overtime at least.

If you actually pause the screen when the arsonist is ready to throw the Molotov cocktail, then it's case closed.

RIP Charlie Hudson.

What do you mean, he got away without a scratch (and a busted ankle)? That blew up on his face! Oh, I know. Rex's tongue has healing properties.

I'll take your word for it, Joe. Since we didn't see it at all.

Dude expects to be instantly fine after that. Again, you're lucky you have your face intact.

Why no Sarah, by the way?

Um, are you serious? He just woke up.

I imagine it was the part where you told him to shake it off. Make up your mind, Donovan.

That might be the most thirsting anyone has ever done in this show.

Bud's wife is so sweet. And the scene is so sad.

That's putting it mildly, actually.

A firefighter who appears for the first time in an arson case AND flirts with Sarah? Yeah, who else could have done it? This is how I mostly find the culprit now. Through extensive experience in crime show plots.

"This is a secure area. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave". We are the police, Miss Red Herring.

We're stealing brownies now. Rex and Charlie are so bored.

Nurse: "Looks like you're diagnosed with lateral malingus". Charlie: "Malleolus". Nurse: "Yeah. Mallegolus. Magolus". I'd be feeling so safe in that hospital after this.

You wish. They're actually from the guy who tried to murder you. Charlie's disappointed "Ah" after that is closer to "ew".

Rex, my favorite judge of character. Except for that one time with Eva, although I believe they said that he was drawn to her because she was sick and he could sense it? Something like that.

Rex: What is your wannabe murderer doing in your hospital room and flirting with my wannabe mom, and also can I bite him?

Charlie: *notices the flirty vibe* I was literally gone for like half a day, what the fuck happened?

Oh I forgot that Joe's shotgun survived until S2 apparently. Might not be the same one, though.

Show, don't tell. In what way, shape, or form has that been showcased so far?

Jesse: [Charlie] would agree that this is a Bible verse. Charlie: I'm guessing it's an acronym. Oof. Tough loss.

IMHO means in my humble opinion? Not in my honest opinion?

It won't hurt you to sit your ass down for a few days. Or, well, it will, but it won't be the rest. Just the murderous psycho.

That's cute.

Good news, Jesse. You get to interview someone.

Oh, he's totally doing this on purpose.

*Charlie sees Sarah's caller ID* Charlie: Hey Sarah ☺️☺️☺️ Rex: ☺️☺️☺️ Sarah: I'm here with *longest pause ever* Asher. Charlie: 🙄🙄🙄 Rex: 😠😠😠

"Maybe the police should stick to investigating and the fire department should stick to inspections". Yeah, I bet you'd love that, Charlie. Jeez, the jealousy.

Charlie: Rex lost a partner. Rex: Don't tell my tragic backstory to him!

I think I can see the makeup cover work for John Reardon's arm tattoo.

Jesse: "This is nice. You know, you and I just figuring stuff out together. I like playing the Charlie". Sarah: "I'm the Charlie in this situation". lol. Also, what was it with that look, Jesse?

And now the mafia is involved.

"You could take Rex". Subtle way to get your partner to look out for the woman you like.

Listen, I might be making some shit up but I'm not making this up.

I'd say it actually looks pretty bad but given the very bad makeup work I've seen lately on 911 that should be better than this show, I'll just say this: Either get your actors to agree not to get tattoos in easily visible places or work the tattoo into the story, which is the normal thing to do. There's nothing in Charlie's backstory that suggests he'd never get a tattoo so I don't see what the problem was, and they eventually did it anyway.

"I'm gonna get all the head rubs I can before that guy runs away with my mom."

They took our case! Oh, well, we'll still investigate.

Drama queen Charlie Hudson, everyone.

She declared St.John's to be in a state of emergency for that? Just for that?

Okay, seriously, the "special police" sounds ridiculous. I hope that's not actually a thing, Canada.

Jesse: "And this is where I remind you that every time I go out in the field, something bad happens. I've been shot! I've been drowned!" This is actually a level of awareness that most crime show characters are incapable of displaying. Including Charlie.

"Our greatest weapon is Rex and Rex runs on snacks" lol

Jesse: Rex track! Charlie: Not now, Jesse. Rex: Rex don't track?

You know, yay for the whump and all, but I'm not a foot fetishist and we've seen Charlie's feet get too much screentime.

What's he looking at? God?

Charlie is in danger! *cut to commercial*

Jesse: I'm the Charlie. Rex: Fuck this, I'll just solve the case like I usually do anyway.

I like that in the scene where Sarah realizes Asher is the arsonist, one of our classic background tracks is playing and right on the moment she comes to the realization, it abruptly stops. It's the little things.

Oh, yeah, we're fucked.

Delicious. Finally some good fucking whump.

Asher: "Stop, Charlie. It won't do you any good". Well, he'll die for sure if he doesn't try so it won't do him any bad either.

Ouch. One with the floor.

"I'll toast at your funeral, Charlie". Motherfucker, up until that point you hadn't reached piece-of-shit levels because I've seen too many villains but after that, I wanted to watch you die.

"I'll take care of Rex for you". Like anyone would let you. I half expected him to say "and Sarah".

Sad AU where the reveal didn't happen, Charlie was killed and no one suspected Asher. Asher and Sarah started dating, Sarah adopted Rex, who of course never warmed up to Asher but he brushed it aside as, "he's just missing his partner and he thinks I'm replacing him in some way," which to Sarah doesn't even make sense, because she didn't know that Charlie liked her but Asher had realized it the minute he had stepped into that hospital room. Time goes by, and Sarah is noticing more and more things about Asher that don't add up, odd phone calls, smoke smell when he's not on duty, and such. She goes to Joe to share her suspicions and along with Jesse, they quietly reopen the investigation. The truth is, of course, shocking. That man had been to Charlie's funeral, had dated Sarah for months. There is no good ending, I mean, how could there be in this case? After arresting Asher, he tells Sarah that he's certain Charlie had a thing for her, which makes her feel even worse. Then Sarah goes to his grave with Rex and tells Charlie that they finally got his killer. But even as she tells him, she can't stop thinking of all the times that she'd gone to Charlie's grave with flowers and Asher had insisted on accompanying her and Rex, Rex's low growls and whines every time Asher went with them, and she now knew it was because Rex could tell: Asher had been practically dancing on Charlie's grave. [Sorry about that.]

Oh, I enjoyed Jesse whacking him. It wasn't much but it was something.

And closing the episode by making friends at the fire department and making Rex an honorary firefighter.

We literally never saw them again.

Aside from everything else, I also liked how the rest of the team took up roles that they don't usually do when Charlie was incapacitated. That was fun to see.

[iamnotthere-idonotdie]

adored, pt. 2

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synopsis: reader and bruce haven’t seen each other in two weeks. they don’t know where the relationship stands, or if there’s one at all. they’ve had to deal with the press finding out about that first night together, and are continuing to navigate through the public eye.

warnings: bruce wayne (battinson) x reader, start and implication of sex but it’s not written out

a/n: i’m not in love with this part 2 and i couldn’t figure out how to make it longer/more interesting, i guess it’s more of a transition to part 3, i was interested to bring in the aspect of bruce wayne’s publicity and him being a public figure but i had some trouble putting it together, i was also inspired by the song edge of my seat by lume, so go listen to that if you’d like (full playlist here), like last part too there’s probably typos and ooc things that bruce does/says but this is just kinda where the story went while i was writing it

edit: link to part 1

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“mr. bill isn’t in right now, can i take a message?”

you’re getting better at that. at sounding like you actually wanna be here. you keep glancing at the clock, begging for the day to be over.

“thank you, i will be sure to get that message to him right away. have a great day”

it’s been two weeks now since… him.

you’ve been hoping you’d run into him somewhere, but of course you haven’t seen him since that morning. when you two sat in your chairs for two hours, drinking coffee, just enjoying each others comfortable silence.

he left that afternoon, but you’ll never forget when you were seeing him out, and as you were saying goodbye, he leaned in and kissed you one last time.

you’ve been yearning for that again, for that feeling of being wanted. you haven’t been able to get that again.

joe left that next day. he said he’d been seeing someone for a while, that that’s where we actually went that weekend, to see him. of course you were hurt by this, but you knew it was for the best. you two hadn’t been in it for a while. you’re just glad he’s the one who moved out. you love that apartment.

finally, the clock says 5:01 and you pack up your things and start to leave.

the press had a heyday when they saw bruce leaving your apartment that afternoon. you didn’t even know how they’d found him, but headline after headline speculated who’s apartment he was walking out of. of course, no one ever figured it out, and the story blew over as quickly as it started. you just wish you could call him and ask him… if that night meant to him what it meant to you. if he also felt that tension, that aching, and now if he feels as empty as you do that you haven’t seen each other.

maybe it was for the best though that it was just that one night. maybe it wasn’t meant to be. you two were astronomically different anyway. he’s an actual billionaire, and you’re a secretary. you’re running all these things through your mind as you take the train home. when you get back to your apartment finally, you just stand in your living room for a second, in a daze, thinking… what now? after much contemplation, you look over in your bedroom and see your outfit you set aside in case you’d ever want to go back to that bar. last time you just went in whatever you wore to work, but you decided two weeks ago that if you went back you’d want to dress nicer. it’s just been sitting there, unused. a few minutes go by of you just staring at the garment, and then you go in to put it on.

you hail a cab and and ask to go to the jade jewel. your hands shake the whole drive and you start regretting this decision. it’s been two weeks. what do you expect to see? and if he is there, then what do you even say to him? the decision’s made for you though, because you arrive at the bar. you thank the driver and head inside.

you sit at the same table in the back and order your drink, an old fashioned, just like last time. you sit there, squirming in your seat, drinking your cocktail way too fast, and can’t even pay attention to the music because you’re so nervous. why are you so nervous? he’s not coming. why would he?

an hour goes by, you’ve finished your drink, and the room is getting more and more crowded with every tick of the minute hand. you all but decide to leave when you glance up and see bruce walk in. he looks around the bar for a second, then his eyes land on you. and he smiles. you smile back. he stops at the bar and gets his drink while on his way to you, leaving what looks like a very generous tip in the jar. as he’s coming over you notice he has your usual in his other hand.

“you’re here.” you say.

“i’ve been here three times in the last two weeks. i was hoping to see you.” he says with a smirk.

you feel yourself blush.

“i’ve been hoping to see you too.”

he sits down and hands you your drink.

“thank you.” you say.

the two of you sit there at the table listening to the music, sipping your drinks. he finishes his first then goes to get another, but not before asking if you need a refill too. you decline; you’d rather not get sloppy drunk in front of bruce wayne, not tonight at least.

he comes back to the table and sits, this time not-so-subtly scooting his chair closer to you.

“so, how have you been?” he asks.

“i’ve been okay. mostly just working.”

“me too.” he says, as he looks down at his drink.

you pause for a second, then break the silence with something that’s been on your mind every day for the past two weeks.

“i’m sorry, by the way. about the paparazzi.” you say, looking down.

“it’s okay, it’s not your fault.”

“i just wouldn’t want them to do that again, you know?” you look at him, hopefully telling him through your eyes that you don’t want to risk this getting out… but that you also don’t want to leave alone tonight.

“well… they wouldn’t think anything of it if i’m just at home, right?”

you can read between the lines.

“yeah, i guess so. they wouldn’t notice me coming out though? of your place?”

“i have ways around that.” he says with a slight smirk.

you smile back at him.

the next few hours at the bar is spent with the two of you talking, drinking, dancing, kissing. you’re surprised no one in the bar is noticing it but you’ve picked a convenient spot for the two of you that’s fairly unassuming. you just can’t believe the story hasn’t gotten out yet that bruce wayne is here. with you.

as the night gets darker and bar gets emptier, you decide to take the night back to his house. you walk to the door, hand in hand, and you’re met with lightning flashes of cameras blinding you the minute you walk out of the bar. the two of you are stunned and then suddenly bruce is wrapping his arm around you and covering your face with his jacket as he rushes you to his car. you both get in the back and he instructs the driver to take you both home.

you catch your breath as you try to fathom what exactly just happened. someone at the bar must have let it spill that he was there. and now the press knows he was with you. it’ll be all over the news: bruce wayne seen with unknown date at dive bar. you can’t help but feel guilty, knowing that if he hadn’t been to your apartment two weeks ago then this never would’ve happened. you look over at bruce and he’s staring out the window of the car.

you don’t know what to say. maybe you shouldn’t say anything.

the two of you make it back to his home, luckily the press isn’t here, not yet at least. so you quickly make it inside. the two of you still haven’t spoken yet. he just goes to his living room and sits in a big armchair. you follow, and sit on a couch across from him.

he seems to be contemplating something. maybe you, whether this is all worth it.

“i’m sorry,” he says, breaking the long silence. “this isn’t fair to you. you didn’t sign up for this.”

“neither did you.”

“but i should’ve been smarter about it.” he says, clearly frustrated.

“really, i’ll be okay.” you try to reassure him.

“i just don’t want… i don’t want to lose…” he trails off, looking down at his hands.

“lose what?”

his status, his reputation? …you?

he gives you your answer by standing up from the chair and sitting down on the couch next to you, and kissing you. the two of you sit there, slowly intertwining with each other, trying to forget the world outside.

and for a little while, you do. for a little while, you forget about them, the flocks of vultures coming to see what stories they can drum up. you forget about the people on tv and on the internet making up narratives and theorizing about who you are. you forget about the bright lights coming for him, coming for you.

and you two just stay there, on the edge of the seat, becoming one.

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[cartooncreature]

There are no signs whatsoever that cars exist in the bugbo universe and despite this I’m making car related / driving headcannons cause fuck you. >:D

Bugbo

He is always driving exactly. the speed limit.

Not a digit over or under.

And he never accelerates or breaks, the car just. is. in the state he wants it to be.

Everyone in the car has to be buckled up, sitting straight forward, feet on the floor, or the car isn’t moving.

(Fights have broken out because of this, usually between him and Hoppo)

He says it’s for safety

(knowing him it’s prolly a power trip thing)

There is no music. Dead silence. Even the wind outside seems quieter

And in the off chance there is music, there’s no lyrics and it’s probably some shit like

“Kahoot Question Music 1 Hour Loop”

And it’s so quiet you can’t even recognize what it is.

If you try to talk to him he’ll respond in short, almost snippy responses

If you keep trying he’ll eventually just point blank say “You know, it’s not very safe or polite to distract the driver.”

Unless he likes you, somehow, then he might have a short conversation with you.

He does the same when he’s a passenger, but to a lesser degree

He’s usually the one who dictates who drives, and, for some reason, he picks Joe a lot.

(Joe doesn’t mind, he likes driving :>)

Hoppo has accused him of being scared of driving before, which he did not take kindly to.

Gerbo

He tends not to drive since cars don’t fit his… build.

He’s all legs, cars aren’t made that way

But in the case that he does, he’d probably drive really slow, mostly out of caution

He most definitely is scared of driving (but Hoppo isn’t gonna say anything to him)

Which isn’t much of an issue considering they probably have the only car on globe

Like that one Yo Gabba Gabba episode

Music wise, I’m not sure

Everyone infantilizes him so much, it drives me crazy

Y’all aren’t listening to Baby Shark 10hr loop

Maybe once for the hype

BUT THATS IT

He probably would listen to more upbeat music,

I have a very limited taste in music and I don’t think he’d like any of my music (It’s all about drugs and wanting to eat the rich or it’s Jack Stauber)

Actually he’d maybe like some Jack Stauber music! Like maybe Buttercup and songs along those lines! His more happy sounding music?

Idk other people with different/better music taste tell me what you think

He doesn’t mind conversation while he’s driving. In fact, I think he likes it!

He likes the casual small talk type conversations, and if they lead into deeper conversations that’s even better!

He offers to drive anytime, but it’s usually either Bugbo or Joe driving, not that he minds. (Please don’t make him drive)

(He does prefer it when Joe drives, but he’d never say it, especially not to bugbo)

Gradient Joe

He’d probably drive the most

He’s the one most… built? for a car?

He tries to drive the speed limit but he might get distracted and speed up or slow down a little

So like, typical driving? I guess?

His music would likely also be more instrumental, mostly because it is a bit easier to focus

And he’s probably driving everyone around, so he’s gonna need some help focusing

But also when it does have lyrics, y’all can fight me on this but I bet he’d like love songs

Like, this isn’t a “omg he’s a romantic he wants to kiss everyone and marry everyone omgggg” thing, more of a like,

Everything is so- rough? All the time?

I mean, he got shoved face fucking first down a mystery hole that was who knows how deep, then guilted into running for mayor with no prep, and then whitenesses a murder, all in around 48 hours

Everything is so fast paced and bright and so much all the time

And love songs are usually much softer, calmer, sweeter

It’s a little moment of peace, you know? Even if it’s just a little distraction before Bugbo ropes him into another wildly overwhelming adventure

Anyway woah car headcannons hi this is what we’re here for jfc

He kinda prefers it to be a little quieter too

(And I think bugbo might, in one of his brief moments of kindness, remind the others to be quieter so he can focus)

If it’s just him and one other person, he might substitute music for listening to them talk

Even if he can’t respond, he likes to nod along and give other people a little break too. Just let them get things off their chest, yk?

I bet he also likes to drive because it is a little tiny bit of control within this chaos ridden mess of a universe.

Why is this one so long? Where did all the gradient joe angst come from? What the hell?

Hoppo

She doesn’t drive often either

Not because she’s built more bug like and so it’s a little awkward for her, she makes that work.

She doesn’t drive because the others won’t let her.

She is driving at least 15 over the speed limit on a “safe” day

Hits curbs like they spat at her grandma

Probably has at least one leg propped up in the seat at all times

only one hand on the wheel

Music. Is. BLASTING.

Marina, Scene Queen, Mother Mother, Sir Chloe, Girl in Red, Penelope Scott, Hemlock Springs, Mitski, Chrissy Chlapecka, Kiki Rockwell, and the occasional Lemon Demon

She has a playlist called “songs to piss bugbo off”

And she’s just casually chatting with whoever is in the front seat while the car shakes from the bass in these songs

Bugbo doesn’t let her drive because he knows she’s doing her best to piss him off

Joe doesn’t let her drive out of pure fear

Gerbo, ironically, is usually in the front seat because he minds her driving the least

If it was just her and Gerbo or Joe she’d prolly tone it down some, maybe at least turn the music down

But if Bugbo is within five miles, you best believe Pink Rover is gonna be shaking the ground he stands on like an earthquake

She’s pretty much the same as a passenger. If Bugbo is driving she’s being obnoxious and goofy, if it’s anyone else she will tone it down some

If Bugbo’s not around she’ll tone it down a lot, maybe just chatting and laughing

(Let me make it clear, she doesn’t dislike bugbo, in fact quite the opposite. But that’s another headcannon for another day)

Thomas Flyswatter

He has the only other car on globe

(I can’t decide if it’s the helicopter he used and it just doubles as a car or if this bitch just has like a Honda civic parked behind his lair)

Driving wise, he’s similar to Joe

Generally pretty typical, though depending on his mood he might speed quite a bit

He rarely, rarely has anyone else in his car

If you even see his car he trusts you a lot

If he drives you around you might as well be besties

Or he pities you (which if this man is pitying you you’ve gotta get your life in check bestie cause holy shit-)

The music he plays depends on his mood and who he’s with

If hes in a villainy “I’m gonna go do evil things mwah ha ha >:D” he’s listening to Toby Fox (and y’all cannot convince me otherwise)

If he’s in a more relaxed mood he, too, may listen to Jack Stauber (probably different than the songs Gerbo would listen to though, some similarities tho) and Definitely some Will Wood

If you are his absolute bestie, like he trusts you with his life, he may, if you’re lucky, break out the broadway music, but only if you’re very lucky

He may be a little quiet at first, but if whoever he’s driving around starts a conversation with him he’ll talk

And also if he’s not talking he’s subconsciously lip syncing because I’m projecting stfu

He also hits curbs a lot

[basingstokemercury]

The Magnificent Adah really is one of the episodes ever.

Oh yay! It's Younger Brother Hijinks - wait Adam is doing hijinks too? This is heaven - okay. that took a serious turn.

("They never kill off the hero"... Adam, you're the educated one. I'm sure you've read Shakespeare. I guess he's referring to his experience of the less-highbrow fare on offer in Virginia City?)

So I guess now the episode is an honestly terrifying depiction of stalking and Ben isn't telling the boys what's going on so they jump to conclusions and make things worse? Abrupt transition from farce to tragedy, here we come!

I'm still not sure what to make of Adam's attempt at confrontation. "Please don't date my father because I find you attractive myself"? He's supposed to be a man of honour, someone who can put others' happiness before his own impulses. Maybe this scene makes more sense to others, but it feels rather OOC to me.

JOE NO YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELF INTO

"Adam, now, he's the dependable one. He's a worrier." So you do get him sometimes!

And we show just how ruthless our violent stalker antagonist is by having him half-kill a teenager for messing with "his" woman/because his father is dating her. As if things weren't dark enough already.

Not that I'm complaining though! Everyone is so upset and worried and they actually let him be scared and in pain and crying for his father, really good emotional decisions here!

"Pa?😢" (heart breaks) (but in a "this is good angst" way)

YES! VENGEANCE! DRAMATIC SHOWDOWN TIME!

Adam restraining Ben because he realises Hoss is better equipped to handle this... Such an interesting choice, I love how protective Adam is of his father but also it's another weight on his shoulders and nobody should have to be that strong...

But oh no! Even Hoss can't handle it because Antagonist has superior technique! Good thing Adam has proficiency at Insight checks and figures out his weakness!

So we get a happy ending, right?

Oh. No. That happened.

I won't say it quite comes out of left field because we've seen that Adah, while she knows this guy is dangerous and abusive, does remember good times and feel conflicted about him. Which, while tragic, is, I think, sadly often the case for people trying to leave relationships like that.

It's just a shame the story ends with her unable to break away. I won't say it's bad storytelling, everything makes reasonable sense logically and that gut punch is an interesting departure from the classic "and they deal with him and he never bothers her again and she's free to live as she chooses" windup for a plot like that.

It does make me sad, though.

I guess a question is whether she knows what was done to Joe or just sees the fight and assumes things escalated for other reasons? Because "I know this guy's awful but I don't want him hurt" isn't quite on the same level as "I know this guy nearly caused permanent injury to someone I see as little more than a child, but I'm going to take his side and comfort him".

[jyndor]

How will Biden stop Israel? He has no jurisdiction in Israel. It's a different country. As much as you USAmericans like to think you're special and other countries are countries in name only, Israel still is an independent country and the USA has no legal power to order Israel to do anything. Or are people saying the US should start a war against Israel? Because that's what it would be if Biden ordered a military intervention by the USA. He can call for a ceasefire just as much as any other world leader, but Israel clearly is not going to listen.

anon you do an amazing job of dressing up your heinous defense of us complicity in israeli occupation and the genocide of palestinians in the language of anti-us imperialism. the problem is you're not spewing your bullshit at someone who doesn't know anything about israel and the united states' history, and so i will not be falling for this latest bit of vomitous apologetics and propaganda that's doing the rounds. eat a dick, but in case anyone else wants to know why anon is full of shit and why the us actually does have SOME significant leverage with israel, let me explain.

when I say the united states and joe biden as president could actually do something to stop israeli war crimes, i am not talking about military invention. i've always been anti-war with very few exceptions and i'm not about to call for war that would result in utter devastation. the us military could easily and handily force by violence israel into submission (we are good at that unfortunately) but that's horrific and it would undoubtedly result in the deaths of millions and also probably further destabilize the entire region since we're very, very good at that, too. no that's insane and also would never happen, the united states needs israel to be right where it is and maybe just a little less insane for geopolitical hegemonic and capitalist reasons. so not only am i not immoral enough to call for the brutal murder of random civilians in israel (how would that help palestinians who of course would also be brutalized) but i'm also not delusional enough to even think that's a possibility. thankfully. israel is damn lucky to have the united states as a country-sized human shield that keeps the rest of the region from throwing hands, because clearly the rest of the region is showing a lot of restraint right now. and of course that's a good thing. i don't want a fucking world war to break out.

i'm talking about money. i'm talking about aid. i'm talking about the weapons grants we send to israel, the money that israel uses to fund palestinian ethnic cleansing. that is the leverage that the united states above every other nation has with israel. and yes, israel certainly might be able to buy their own weapons, but losing us aid would be a real hit to israel. and if the us withheld its aid, my guess is the us wouldn't be the only supporter of israel to withhold financial aid.

eisenhower threatened to end all us aid to israel if israeli troops didn't withdraw from egyptian territory during the suez crisis. that did in fact work. presidents ford, carter, reagan, and hw bush all used this leverage to get concessions from israel.

of course it wouldn't mean israel couldn't continue to do horrible shit, but if the us actually held israel to account financially, they'd have several billion reasons to change course. and that would mean an end to funding iron dome... and that would probably give israel a bit more reason to chill out.

there was an article i read recently that i can't find rn of an israeli official saying that of course israel depends on us aid but i can't find it so if anyone knows what i'm talking about, send me the link.

[braveclementine]

I Decide to Be an Idiot. Oh Wait-

Warnings: None

Copyright: I do not own any Twilight characters or locations. I do own Davina Mikelson and Marcel. I also own the backstory for my OC. I do not condone any copying of this.

Davina P.O.V.

Bella and my feet pounded against the sidewalk as we ran from her house to the ballet studio. I made sure the pepper spray was in my pocket and so was the wooden stake I had made out of one of the broken chairs in the garage while Bella was calling James.

I had a plan so she had told him that I had been unable to make it. I slowed down as we neared the Ballet studio, stepping into the shadow of someone's house while she continued on into the studio.

I waited, counting the seconds. I had told her that I would wait two minutes before I would barge in there and become a distraction.

My phone was ringing like crazy and I realized that I couldn't have that! I didn't completely shut my phone off, but I did make sure that the notifications were on silent.

Then, I gripped the stake in one hand, my hand on the pepper spray in my pocket.

Did pepper spray affect vampires? Wasn't sure. Now wasn't the best time to try a theory. Wasn't really sure a stake would work either. So I had a backup surprise in my other back pocket. Yes, I was always full of surprises.

I crept into the Ballet studio, barely letting any light in. James was holding a recorder in one hand and he was talking quietly to Bella. ". . .did smell so delicious. Much like your black-haired friend I'll go after next. I still regret that I never got to taste. . . she smelled even better than you do. Sorry- I don't mean to be offensive. You have a very nice smell. Floral, somehow. . . the other girl on the other hand smells so so good. Fruit like."

I scowled. Great.

James took another step towards Bella, lifting a lock of her hair, and I was pretty sure he was pulling a Joe Biden and smelling her except- in this case- he had every right to smell her. I guess?

"No. I don't understand. Well, I suppose we should get on with it. And then I can call your friends and tell them where to find you, and my little message. Maybe I'll get lucky, hide somewhere nearby and they'll bring the black-haired girl." He set the camera up so that it could get a nice view of the entire room.

Bella tried running and he was in front of her, kicking her in the chest. She flew backwards, crashing into the mirrors. He walked towards her, his back to me. The mirror had crashed, he wouldn't see me coming.

Of course, he'd probably hear, smell, and taste that I was coming, but maybe I'd get a little luck on my side.

I darted forwards, jumping, slamming the stake down into his neck.

Actually, much to my surprise, it work for the most part, going through his neck with a little difficulty and I jerked my arms to the right along with my body, attempting to disconnect his head with his body.

He spun, sending my body flying. Luckily, I managed to twist my body so that I landed on my feet. Those Tae Kwon Do and gymnastics lessons really paid off.

He jerked the stake out of his neck, tossing it to the side.

"Well, well, well. And what's your name angel?"

"Nobody." I snarked.

"Ah, a literary fan. I must say, I've never cared for reading myself. But Odysseus is a classic."

Bella had been doing pretty good, crawling towards the exit until James caught sight of her in one of the mirrors.

"Oh. I see now."

He zoomed forwards, towards me, probably expecting me to still be there. But the moment he'd stopped speaking, I'd dropped down so that his arms wrapped around air. Very quickly, I jerked upwards with my knee, connecting with his most manly parts and then spraying him in the eyes with the pepper spray.

He let out an almost scream, as I darted to the side. He caught me by my hair wrenching me backwards. I flew, twisting my body so that I hit the mirror from the side instead of behind.

Meanwhile, he was towards Bella, stomping on her leg so that it broke. She let out a scream.

I shook my arm which was throbbing and glass pieces fell from it, releasing out blood trickles. Oh dear. How wonderful.

James was in front of me in an instant, appearing in front of me at the same time Bella crashed into another mirror.

"Oh you do smell so wonderful." He grabbed my arm, dragging me so that I was facing the camera, "Tell Carlisle how much you don't want to die."

I snorted, "Believe me. I don't fear death. You on the other hand-"

I flicked the lighter, reaching upwards, lighting his hand on fire first.

He yelped, letting go of me, shaking his hand, trying to get the flame to go away.

"See, I remember what I learn." I murmured, flicking a piece of glass off my shirt. "And I was told how to kill a vampire. Comes in use now."

The flame had crept up James arm and he howled in rage before he yanked off his leather jacket, putting the fire out.

"You bitch."

"Give it another try. I've been called worse." I teased.

"You don't shut up, do you?"

"Nope." I replied.

He smiled and I noticed his teeth were covered in blood. I was hesitant for a moment and he said, "Bella tastes delicious."

Ah, he'd bitten her.

And then he lunged for me.

I yelped as my back hit the hard paneled floor.

"Time to reap my reward." James hissed and then he bit into my neck.

Carlisle P.O.V.

Edward got to the ballet studio first, but we weren't far behind him. I came in after him, looking for Davina.

Bella was to the side, curled up and writhing in pain. James was crouched over someone else.

Davina.

I snarled, letting Lord out, and tackled James from Davina. I noted her heart beat was slow, almost stopping. Jasper and Emmett took James from me.

I dashed back to Davina's side. Her eyes were closed, her breathing labored.

"Carlisle!" Alice shouted behind me, "Bella!"

I couldn't choose between Davina and Bella. I quickly searched Davina over, finding that there was nothing wrong with her, just a lack of blood.

"Carlisle." Davina whispered. "Go to Bella."

"CARLISLE!" Edward yelled. Davina flinched at the loud noise.

I was by Bella's side in a second and realized she was worse off. I quickly went into the doctor zone, checking Bella. Broken leg. Broken ribs. A bite in her hand.

I worked methodically, inserting morphine, having Alice help me brace her leg as she writhed and Edward debated whether he could suck the vampire venom out of Bella's system.

I prayed that there was no vampire venom in Davina's system. I had promised not to turn her until she was nearing thirty. But I also wasn't sure I could suck the vampire venom out of her system without trying to taste her blood.

I refused to taste her blood. I would not taste her blood.

"Alice, please, see if Davina has vampire venom in her system." I begged her and she was gone.

Edward was sucking the venom out of Bella's hands, his eyes going red as he started to taste blood. I knew they'd revert back to being gold afterwards but red eyes on my kids were scary. It would mean I failed as a father, a mentor, a protector.

"Edward." Bella muttered.

"He's right here, Bella." I whispered.

"Stay, Edward, stay with me. . ." Bella pleaded.

"I will."

Bella sighed.

"Is it all out?" I asked.

"Her blood tastes clean. I can taste the morphine." Edward whispered.

"Bella?" I asked.

"Mmm?" She hummed.

"Is the fire gone?"

"Yes. Thank you, Edward."

"I love you." Edward said.

"I know."

Edward laughed weakly.

"Bella?" I asked.

"What?"

"Where is your mother?"

"In Florida. He tricked me, Edward. He watched our videos. Alice. Alice, the video- he knew you, Alice, he knew where you came from. I smell gasoline." Bell mumbled.

"It's time to move her." I said, glancing over my shoulder. Davina still laid on the floor, her head in Alice's lap. There was a video camera propped up on the shelf. I quickly zoomed over to it, seeing that it was still on and turned it off, putting it in my pocket, moving to Davina's side. I lifted her into my arms and turned to Alice, "You need to create a scenario."

"Will do." Alice said, looking pleased.

Emmett and Jasper were setting James' body on fire.

We quickly got them to the hospital.

---------------------

The entire family decided to watch the tape at the same time. He started out by telling us about Alice, how she had lived in an Asylum for having crazy visions and that was why she didn't remember her human life. And at first, I was confused as to why Davina wasn't in it, until James was standing over Bella. She had crept out of the shadows, stabbing the stake into his neck and when he sent her flying, she landed on her feet.

"Mama bear go!" Emmett said with a grin which made Rosalie hit him in the shoulder.

"Well, well, well, what's your name Angel?" James asked after ripping the stake out of his neck.

"Nobody." Davina answered.

"Ah, a literary fan. I must say, I've never cared for reading myself. But Odysseus is a classic. Oh I see now."

Bella had been crawling towards the exit and I realized that Davina had let herself be a distraction.

Davina dropped into a crouch as James rushed towards her, his arms grabbing air. She popped up almost immediately, slamming into his groin, spraying him in the eyes with pepper spray.

He screamed and I was surprised and pleased. Well, until he wrenched her back by her hair, sending her towards the mirrors. She managed to avoid most of it, turning so she crashed into the mirror with her arm.

At the same time, James was messing with Bella until Davina shook her arm, making James appear in front of her. She was reaching into her back pocket as James stared into the camera, winking and said, "Oh you do smell so wonderful. Tell Carlisle how much you don't want to die."

If my heart still beat, it would be cinching painfully. Esme put a hand on my shoulder. "She's alive brother."

Davina snorted and said, "Believe me. I don't fear death. You on the other hand-"

And that was when she set him on fire.

"Impressive." Jasper muttered beside me.

James howled in rage as the flames crept up his arm and he pulled off the leather jacket, putting the flames out, turning his angry eyes on Davina. I clenched the table tightly in my hands.

"You bitch."

"Give it another try. I've been called worse." Davina jested.

"You don't shut up, do you?"

"Nope."

Davina was out of tricks when he tackled her, muttering, "Time to reap my reward." And then he bit her.

I clenched the table so tightly it started to crack.

"Carlisle." Esme said, prying my hands from the table, "Go see her."

"Carlisle." Alice whispered, taking the camera because we'd decided it was hers. "They'll ask for her name. Make one up. For some reason, she doesn't want to be known by her name."

I was confused, but said nothing, nodding instead, and heading out the door.

Outside Davina's room was a crowd of nurses and even a doctor or two, looking both excited, nervous, and almost fearful. They were muttering amongst themselves and I was completely confused.

"Excuse me." I said, trying to get through and everyone's eyes turned to me.

"You know this patient?" One of the women's voices was quivering but I didn't know if that was because of Davina or myself.

"Yes. She's my. . ." Well I couldn't say mate. ". . .a friend of my daughters."

"She's not Davina Michaelson, is she?" One of the doctors asked seriously. "Because we have some vets in the hospital and they'd be upset if she is."

What? What did vets have to do with Davina's care. She wasn't an animal. I thought back to Alice's words and wondered if I could come up with a name on the spot.

"No. She's not. Her name is Sadie Claire." I lied easily.

I saw the entire crowd completely relax. I was very tempted to ask who Davina Michaelson was, but I had promised her that I would let her be the one to tell me. But whatever it was, people were obviously judging her on it, and I couldn't blame her that she hadn't told me yet. She was probably afraid I'd react like all these people.

I slipped into the room and saw that she hadn't received care yet and I felt the Lord rise up in me again. No matter what it was people were judging her for, they most certainly shouldn't have not given her care.

A nurse quickly bustled in, took one look at my face, and quickly got to work on replenishing Davina with blood. At that moment, Davina's phone called and I picked it up, checking that it was Sam before I answered.

"Sam." I said.

"About time bloodsucker. What happened? Is she alright?"

"She's fine. James won't be a problem anymore either." I replied and Sam got the tip that someone else was there.

"I need details bloodsucker." Sam growled.

I kept my calm, pushing Lord back down.

The nurse hurried from the room and in rapid-fire English I told him the entire story. There was a few seconds of silence before Sam said, "What hospital are you at?"

"I'm bringing her home tomorrow. She has no injuries external or internal. Just blood loss. . ."

"I told you she would be safer on the La Push Rez. Listen to me next time. . . Carlisle."

I sighed in relief. "I know. She didn't want to lead James onto your rez though."

"I know." Sam muttered. "What a saint."

"I'll drop her off at the treaty line tomorrow." I muttered. "If she wants to of course. She may just want to crash at home."

"Alright." Sam muttered. "Let me know if anything goes wrong."

"I will."

Sam got off the call and I sat next to Davina's bed, resting my head on her leg, waiting for her to wake.

[starry-mist]

S4e11 thoughts:

I can appreciate what the episode is trying to do. It's a very obvious homage to James Bond. I just feel like it tries too hard.

We have Bond (Charlie), Bond Girl (Trina), Moneypenny (Sarah), Q (Jesse), M (Joe), and an actual character named M who gets the very obvious line about MI-6 just in case the audience has somehow missed that THIS IS JUST A JAMES BOND STORY DONE HUDSON & REX STYLE.

Of all the places they could have chosen, they went with Hamilton? Seriously? I would have gone with Toronto. I know the whole trick was to have Rex jump through the O in the Hamilton sign, but I can confirm that Toronto has one of those two, with three O options...maybe a triple jump?

However, as I'm writing this, I'm remembering that they actually didn't film all that many scenes in Hamilton itself. The interior shots (both the Hall of Heroes and the fancy restaurant) were both filmed at The Rooms in St. John's. The absence of Toronto's recognizable skyline would have been pretty obvious with those huge windows. Hamilton's scenery isn't all that distinctive, and parts of it could resemble St. John's if you squint (hilly in some areas, and close to a large body of water.)

Charlie and Sarah in fancy dress but in separate places is a crime. I said what I said.

The introduction of Michael worked in this episode, the "she's not just that into you" vibes did not. It was a little too quick to hit that so hard. But given Andrew Bushell likely had limited availability, I'll chalk it up to them needing to move that story along within the time they had him.

Also the very obvious Sarah hiding Michael from the team... *cough* Charlie *cough*...it becomes even more obvious in episode 12, but anyway. Has apparently met her other friends, but she hasn't told her parents about him, and he's yet to meet the coworkers who are basically family...this was when I started to think our lovely Plot Device was toast.

When Joe asks Jesse about the report on the Iris Cross case, I feel the tiniest tease of season continuity, and I'm totally imagining that Jesse and Sarah share a quick glance and headcanoning that they covered for Charlie after that case and just go with it, okay?

Also, Joe. Quit shitting on Jesse. We're supposed to have passed that phase.

Trina. Your flirting skills suck.

(Charlie, so do yours.)

Look, irritating as I found it at the time, I am not going to begrudge Charlie a little fling, nor will I hold it against Sarah to be stepping into the dating world. These two have each been (presumably) single for a while. They deserve a little action. (Obviously I'd have preferred that action to be with each other, but...for now, let them have their fun.)

I expected Michael to be taller, blonder, and with just a hint of scruff. But seriously, track the development of his facial hair over his few appearances. There's a definite Charlie-esque trajectory.

I had always fixated on there being some sort of reason why the camera panned down to Sarah's phone as she puts it in her purse, but I could never figure out why it was important. Tonight I finally realized it's because she was checking for a message from Charlie. Duh.

To this day I can’t watch the scene where Charlie “pumps Rex’s stomach.” Cool that Sherri Davis is there, though, maybe to keep Diesel comfortable?

The contrast between Charlie losing his shit, and Rex basically being like “quit it, dumbass, I saved the day," as he casually trots back in after the bomb goes off amuses me.

And finally, on the subject of the awkward mess that is that ending kiss with Trina...Rex is judging you, Charlie. That whine says it all.

I'm still trying to manifest a "Charlie actually got Trina pregnant, then she turns up dead and he finds out he has a kid and oooh drama" storyline, but I feel like this isn't that kind of show. Might work in a fic someday though.

Anyway, I guess the episodes I like less somehow get the novel-length posts...Objectively, this is actually a pretty good episode, it just doesn't do it for me.

[sleepy-seal]

AGH IVE BEEN TAGGED (by @moth-yknowtheartist)

nickname: gale, y’know like the wind

sign: sun sign is scorpio-sagittarius, moon sign is virgo (i think), and rising sign is gemini

height: 5’5 (average)

song stuck in my head: right now it’s stool of gold. but overall it’s most of the puppet history songs and also earth, water, plant, and cold island from my singing monsters. and there’s Also the ballad of smokin’ joe rudeboy. i have an interesting taste in music.

followers: last time i checked, 29! quite a lot for someone like me

amount of sleep: it is 3 am for me and i am doing this you take a guess

lucky number: seven or nine! i don’t know why i just do

dream job: i’ve said it before but MARINE BIOLOGIST!!!!! marine wildlife is so fucking cool and there’s never enough discoveries made in the name of marine science. also i am a huge sucker for biology

movies/books that summarize me: piggybacking off of moth’s idea of “the things i like defining me” i’m just gonna go down the list

Five Nights at Freddy’s (if you’ve known me for long enough you would know this is my critical weak point. i have so much merch of this series), Bendy and the Ink Machine (also BATDR as an extension), Puppet History (very very obviously have you Seen my art blog lately), Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared, You’re Perfect (i watched a playthrough from markiplier and i am so serious when i say that game changed me), Cookie Run (a wee bit shameful of this one), Danganronpa (a LOT shameful of this one), Petscop, My Singing Monsters, The Magnus Archives, The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, The Glass Scientists, Frankenstein, Homestuck (i don’t have an excuse for this one), Sander Sides, Monster High, Sailor Moon (i have a poster of it), and etc.

there’s obviously more but i have a poor memory (and im also omitting some out of shame so)

favorite song: it changes so much because i loop songs to the point i get sick of them but right now it’s the ballad of smokin’ joe rudeboy (i think ive said it before)

favorite instrument: piano! i used to go to a lot of piano lessons. it’s the only instrument i actually want to play given the circumstances. it’s been a while though so i’m rusty

favorite author: robert louis stevenson and mary shelly (i am very predictable)

aesthetics: hm,,, i dunno. maybe marine stuff? or anything horror related. i’m also a bit attached to the weirdcore genre, that’s a comfort of mine.

and uh,,, tagging people. oh boy. i don’t know who’s been tagged so i’m a bit nervous to. for now i’ll just stick with the one person i know uses tumblr a lot @colorfulpaintspills

[bisluthq]

https://www.tumblr.com/bisluthq/759463349616525312/the-dissonance-is-that-if-you-believe-her-words?source=share

do you really think that the situation your friend is in is normal behaviour? 😭 I'm sorry, I can't even say with a straight face that someone married has been stalking and obsessed with her ex all throughout the marriage feels normal behaviour to me. Maybe she should have married the ex and not the new guy. Does the guy even know of her obsession? Do you think he's going to think it's all normal too? What happens when the ex becomes the "friend she told you not to worry about" and he gets ditched as soon as they have problems? How is that fair to the guy?

If you think this is normal, I can see how you don't think there's any dissonance. You're basically saying that if Taylor was obsessed and stalking Matty all throughout her years with Joe, that was normal behaviour. And too bad he came back and swooped her in.

And I'm guessing you would also see as normal if even while now being with Travis, she still stalked Matty to know what he's up to 💀

Are we just free to be selfish and infuse trauma on our partners, because we don't want to deal with our shit first? This is how hurt people get created and then hurt the people that come after. At some point, there's a cycle that needs to be broken otherwise it's just people hurting each other because they were hurt first

actually yes her husband knows she wasn’t over that guy and they live on different continents now and so just physically they’re not about to become the friends not to worry about and again, when the ex tried to follow her on Insta she blocked him. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t have what ifs but she doesn’t want those what ifs answered. And hey, maybe one day that’ll change because her marriage will be in trouble for other reasons and that guy happens to be around and happens to have resolved all his other various fucking problems lol. Then yes maybe it becomes a problem. But you can’t tell the future? She could just as easily, at that undetermined future point when her marriage is in hypothetical trouble, meet someone at work and hit it off with him/her (friend’s bi).

personally, that’s why I find jealousy a taxing and silly emotion because like if someone wants to cheat, they will. If someone falls out of love with you, they might meet someone else and hit it off and leave you for them. Fwiw they might just fall out of love with you and leave and ideally that follows a similar timeline to you falling out of love, but sometimes it doesn’t and comes out the blue and you’re still invested idk.

I don’t think it’s worth stressing about exes or hypotheticals that much. I do think you should try make your partner feel as secure as possible without compromising yourself and what you want to do on big things. You also can’t be in anyone’s head so fuck alone knows what they’re thinking unless you have very very open communication and even then man idk sometimes there’ll be things you won’t say because it’s not worth it in the moment or it’s not the right time or it’s genuinely not info that person requires lol (although if you’re with someone who has trust issues my advice based on my own current case study I’m living in is just disclose the fuck out of everything because if they’re trying to deal with it then they’re disclosing everything to you - which honestly I find tiresome lol like no I don’t really need to know that some woman you went on a few dates with texted you unless you texted her back to make a plan to meet up which would have been an odd thing to do but since you’re gonna disclose that to me and show me the texts then yes I will show you the texts from some random person who messaged me too lol like if that makes everyone feel better w/e).

I just find a view of love that says “I can never have thoughts about my ex” very fucking romantic but quite unrealistic. Again, personally I wouldn’t go back to any of my exes because they all irked me in fairly profound ways and/or I just don’t love them anymore and as I’ve said before my brain is very helpful with this because when I stop being into them I start finding them legit unattractive? Like even people I know objectively are hot like when I’m over them they look mad av to me so that helps. But even so like ofc there were things that were fun about each of them and shit yk what? Sometimes I want to talk to MY longterm exes because they’re the right person to talk to at that time. Not to get back together with them but like because these are people who know me/knew me extremely well.

[dahllaz]

25x11 Prima Nocta

It makes absolutely no sense that Rollins was just full on working the case and there during the rape kit and all that.

I do not care.

It was awesome to have her back. I loved the episode.

The conversations with Carisi, with Liv, her walking back in and just hitting the ground running, the group discussing the case back and forth in the squad room, the not knowing who the perp was for so long. Good shit good shit good shit.

The UC to catch the perp was written kinda weird though? I mean. The initial set up was good and kinda cute, with Rollins and Carisi working it together (even if ridiculous that a {sort of but maybe not??} non-detective and the ADA are the ones going under) but the UC bit specifically when the perp showed up at the room was just...off. It seemed like they were setting up catching him in the act, and okay no? They're really just trying to get the DNA instead? But then no one else seemed to be aware of that part of the plan but Amanda so. That was weird. Made it the weakest bit of the episode for me.

And the end conversation with Liv was a bit confusing, too. Did they think there were gonna have her (Kelli) back and then got word that they were not or word that they don't know yet at least and so then had to do a quick edit or something? Or are they're setting up a sort of consulting thing? Or... Just confusing to spend a whole episode obviously setting up a return and then to be like nah, Rollins doesn't really want to be back at SVU and Olivia thinks it's not what she really wants. Unless they're gonna move her to Original Flavor or OC???? But hell, a lot of the fun of having her back in this episode was how she interacted with this squad, both the OGs and the Newbies.

So. I just. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It's also kinda weird/sad that 1) 5 people is a full squad with no room for additions. Sure miss the days of Season one where 5 were just the detectives we followed but there were several other detectives obviously working cases in the background. 2) part of that full squad is a Captain (with the captain of the unit also full on working cases like a detective haha) and an on-loan FBI agent, so no spot for someone with an actual rank of detective lolololol

OC 4x11 Redcoat

It's kind of weird, in a lot of ways OC is a way more solid show than SVU this season. The writing is really good, the acting is really good. And yet...I just don't enjoy or care about it as much.

And I'm still really sad that Sam is dead. I don't want to get attached to newbies on SVU 'cause they'll just disappear (where did Churlish gooooo) and I don't want to get attached to newbies on OC 'cause they'll just die.

Glad the ATF lady didn't die. I'm kind of surprised at how much I've grown to like Randall; I'm digging his relationship with Elliot. But since we are doing more with his family, wish we got to see more of his kids. Especially Kathleen and Eli. Which I guess is kind of funny to say when we did briefly see Eli this episode. And what the heck are they planning with him and his big news... Maybe someday Lizzie will even get to speak! That'd be nice.

Joe Jr. is gonna do something stupid and get himself killed is my prediction and Elliot is gonna blame himself and...hope I'm wrong. Kind of tired of people dying all the time in OC and Elliot spiraling. Then again, I'm kind of tired of him doing long stints UC too (tired of the frequent spiraling and the running away into other personas and him never even being close to available for his family) and that's the whole premise of the show so I guess there's why I don't enjoy or care about it as much. Huh.

It made me laugh that Elliot has no idea that Kyle is Vargas. Though it was really weird that no one from OC brought him up to speed on that part of the investigation and it's Randall giving him the run down.

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S03E08 - Sleeping Beauty

Okay episode which gets good with character interactions. In fact, I don't really get bored with S3 up until the end where they put some lackluster episodes.

You see one kid being mean to the other, then a minute later you cut to an interaction between parents and you realize why.

These parents are awful.

Charlie: "You have never seen a fairytale before?" Sarah: "I have, except I find them all insufferably sexist". Charlie: "Well, they offer historical context". Do they? Because I don't remember dragons in my history books. Anyway, I'm with Sarah on this one and luckily I didn't grow up with them.

It is interesting, however, that Charlie seems to know quite a bit about these things. I distinctly remember no boy would ever be convinced to sit down and watch these movies.

Sweet potato jerky? Why does that sound so tasty? It's a dog treat.

This is just an excuse to get Sarah home.

"Your new place, which I see for the first time ever, is really incredible!"

Have I mentioned yet on this rewatch that Charlie must be taking kickbacks to be able to afford a house like that? No?

"Kids are loud". Water is wet.

Too cute.

"I guess they're alright". Make up your mind. More importantly, isn't there ample space on the couch next to Charlie for Sarah to sit? What's she doing over there?

Jesse calls from work, Joe is also over there, NO ONE is surprised that Sarah is at home with Charlie and Rex.

See? Instead of reacting to Jesse's antics, react to the fact that your detective and your head of forensics (your? I have no clue) are playing house instead of being anywhere near the precinct.

"Rex is a detection dog. His alerts establish reasonable suspicion to search". Well, thank you, Sarah. Charlie never actually explained it. I wonder if this actually holds up.

I can actually imagine the writers at the start of the season trying to come up with a reasonable excuse for those searches based on Rex's nose. At some point, they might have even opened a law book. I don't think that it would hold up in court to say that a police dog smelled illegal substances and rule based on that but it might give probably cause for a search. All this changes depending on where one lives, though. And if they find something, well, then you have your proof right there. The whole gist of it is to make sure the search is legal so you don't jeopardize the entire case.

"The dog ruined my favorite pants". Maybe you shouldn't have run?

"He's trying to hypnotize me. You're all witnesses."

"So Rick is not the owner of our... glass slipper". I think Sarah is about to whack you with the case file.

Sarah: "Where do you think of starting?" *Rex barks* Charlie: "Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, too, partner". Guys...

Why do I think this was taken from when they're looking for the stepmom in the end of the episode? He looks too serious and very much in a hurry, which is not something that he is supposed to be in the current drive.

"I can assure you there are no drugs in this house". Charlie literally has a drug sniffing dog with him, how do you think he's not going to find anything?

I think the lady's excuse that she's going through a brutal divorce actually did get a bit of a reaction from Charlie. Not that he'd give her the drugs back, of course.

Dad-influencer. I hate this age.

"What was your babysitter doing in the back of your truck?" I can't believe there was a logical explanation for this other than "We were having sex".

"You don't think it's possible to have a platonic relationship with an attractive woman?" Wise move not to answer that.

I'd definitely like to ask the Hudson and Rex production where they get their car brand covers because in greek tv productions their look like shit.

"Everyone I know drives this car". This is a 50K Mercedes. Where are we?

I did not have sexual relations with Stacey Nielsen". Okay, who put that in there? I can't listen to it without laughing.

Sad that it wasn't some kind of threesome. She was just carrying their child.

The production getting their money's worth out of the new house.

"She made this for me. It's some sort of woman with... one, two, three, four... seven kids?" "These are dwarfs" lmao

Snow White was in witness protection? Maybe in the next Disney installment.

Sarah: "You don't need a prince for a happily ever after". Get that man, Sarah. Do you have any idea how many men would protest that statement?

Joe: "Nice of you to join us this morning". Don't do this, Joe, we keep trying to extricate him out of the office, let him be late for once!

Charlie: "Rex took forever to get out of the house this morning. Rex: "Don't you dare sully my good reputation!" Charlie: "Okay. I took forever to get out of the house this morning". I love their suspicious looks and also, I WANT TO KNOW! What happened? What are they hiding from us? WHAT??? What did you cut out?

"Need I remind you, Charlie, that warrant-less collection of DNA is not admissible in court?" Maybe. I mean, we sometimes base an entire case off of it.

Seriously, why is he so chipper?

Sarah: "Stacey's not the mother". Joe: "I'm sorry, what the what?" Charlie: "Yeah, what Joe said". You can tell Sarah loves delivering such news.

Again with the looks.

I believe that a person having a perfectly good womb should be able to use that womb however they see fit, including getting paid to carry the baby of a couple that for whatever reason can't or won't do that. The law's intent should not be to police people's wombs but to make sure that children shouldn't be born and grown to be taken advantage of. So it should be legal in cases of parents who want to have a child, and illegal if for example one was to gather fifty women and grow children through surrogacy to take advantage of them (not the only example, just one I thought of). Taking advantage of your body's ability to carry children for monetary gain so that they can be ultimately raised in a proper family that wants them is not the same as taking advantage of children.

"I had a glass of wine at lunch." "Was it served in a salad bowl?" Burn!

Why would you bring the kid to the place her stepmom might commit suicide?

Rex to the rescue once again. I think I've seen this on Kommissar Rex too.

Big damn hero.

"What a needless tragedy this all was". I've seen so many certifiably stupid deaths on crime shows, this doesn't even rank at the top 20.

Suspiciously big enough space for Rex to jump onto. But looks weird before that. Also, thanks for squashing by beer/wine theory like a couple episodes later. I am now thinking that the wine goes with the couch lol

"I think you'd make a great mom." "You're a great dad. To your fur baby over here." "What do you think, pal, you like being my fur baby?" Rex's growl sounds like he wants to bite anyone who says the word fur baby again. Maybe that's just me, though.

It's a good thing Sarah has an alternative plan to motherhood because I can see the future and I suspect it will take a long time.

Again, the case didn't grab me. But they spent sufficient time outside of the office and mostly in Charlie's new house that we just saw for the first time that I didn't mind.

[give-me-your-kidneys]

ok so first actual post that's not intended as a sort of intro type thing.

so anyways I've been kinda struggling with the idea of gender for the past year or so. for the sake of context, I'll try and start from the beginning more or less.

so I was born a man (well, boy if we're being technical, I didn't pop out of my mom a fully grown adult lmao). In middle school I found out that I was bi because I had a crush on a friend of mine and since then I've become very comfortable with my own sexuality. I've been attracted to people regardless of gender and am very confident that I'm bi or at least some other flavor of not entirely straight (maybe there's some other word that is super niche that more accurately describes my own personal feelings, but whatever, that's not important or relevant, nor something I particularly care about). this is all to say that I'm not particularly unfamiliar with being queer.

in the past year or so I've been struggling with my gender. It's not that I don't feel like a man, but it's not something I really have any sort of strong attachment to, it's just how I've been living my life up until now and so it's convenient to continue like that. I definitely don't feel like a woman, and I don't think I'd necessarily be happy if that's how I was perceived either, but it's not something that feels wrong, it feels about the same as being a man, which is to say not like much of anything. but, however, I definitely feel like I'd be happier if I'd be able to present myself more femininely, and definitely not in your typical e-boy femboy uwu kind of way that's become more common in recent years. no shade on the people who like doing that, it's just not what I want to do. it's just a desire to be able to dress femininely and cute while having that be perceived as normal.

and just to be clear, if there was some easy way that I could just get hrt through a doctor (not super comfortable with the idea of diy-ing it as I just don't really trust myself to do that properly) or just really with any sort of professional supervising me that knows their shit so I don't screw anything up, I would, but alas. I also very very very very very much do not want to be seen or look in the mirror and see myself as a man in a dress, or like any sort of male person dressing in a feminine way, as that to me at least, feels like it'd be worse than just living life in the way that I currently am.

to me, specifically in the case of myself and not when it comes to other people, getting on estrogen/all the other various hormones that are part of hrt is what I'd need to really accomplish anything of that sort. it's what I'd need for myself to make it feel real. now, I want to make it extremely clear that this is only a standard that I'd apply to myself as it's a standard I'd only really hold myself to, I'm not some sort of transmed/truscum person. everyone has their own journey and standards that they experience and what I think of myself is just that, only relevant in my case. and in my case, it feels like I'd need that as a way of being able to be more happy with myself, I think.

on an only tangentially related topic, I don't really view myself as nonbinary or trans or anything like that, because for some reason using those terms just feels wrong? not sure why, but the closest thing I could compare it to is like stolen valor or some shit, which I'm aware is a very goofy way of thinking about it lmao. but regardless, it still just doesn't feel right to call myself something along those lines, even though I have spent the last three paragraphs talking about how I view my own gender identity in a way that most people would say at least decently aligns with those terms.

I guess one of the reasons as to why it doesn't feel right is that as someone who has never really been visibly queer, (I just look like some regular joe white dude) despite never really hiding that I was if it ever came up, to me at least, the nonbinary and trans people that I've known in the past were very very open in how they presented themselves and made it very clear to anyone who saw them that they were not cis. it just feels wrong to call myself anything like that when I know people who are that and they are far far braver than I'll ever be for living as who they really are in a world that does not want them to do so.

this ties in to another thing that I've also been thinking about, in that I'm fucking terrified of doing transitioning/getinng/taking hrt[1] for three reasons.

one being that it's a pretty big change. I know that most of its effects are not really permanent if you stop within the first couple of months but still. that's a really big choice to make and I don't want to regret it. this fear of regret is mostly just due to who I am as a person, I know that the vast vast vast majority of people who transition are extremely happy with doing so, and hell that most people who consider it for as long as I have and end up doing so end up being happy with doing so, but still. what if I'm wrong.

the second reason is that, let me be frank, I'm not really starting from the best place when it comes to doing so. this is purely from a physical place as I'm a fairly overweight person who has some physical features that I don't think hrt would necessarily solve (mainly body/facial hair, like holy shit dude there's just too much of it, it never ends). not gonna post a picture because I don't want my face tied to this fairly intimate dump of ideas, even though I highly doubt anyone will ever read this.

the third is that I'm pretty scared of doing so, but for a different reason than in point number one. the world is not very kind to people who transition. luckily, I don't live on terf island, but I do live in the USA, and the college that I attend is in a fairly red state. not super giga red like in the bible belt, but still not great. my family does live in a rather blue state and city, but still, not great. my family would probably be supportive, so I don't think that's a big concern, as would my close friends (especially the ones who I've talked about this with), but everyone outside of that, which is most people I interact with, who the fuck knows? like that shit is scary as fuck.

anyway yeah so definitely still 100% cis lmao.

just kinda wish I was born a girl so that I'd be able to express myself in ways that feel more true to myself

100% cis though.

[1] ok doing a footnote on a tumblr post is goofy as all hell, but what I wanted to write here was too long to do parenthetically. I'm not super happy with wording it like this for two reasons, but I'm keeping it like this with the footnote as I'd rather just keep it as is for the sake of clarity in what I'm saying.

transitioning feels like I'm saying that I'm trans, which I'm not uncomfortable with identifying as that being the endpoint of my own personal journey, but is something I don't feel is truly accurate for aforementioned reasons. still keeping it like that for clarity

conflating starting/getting hrt and transitioning here is for the same reason as stated above, I'm not a truscum person.

[collectivecloseness]

Actually yk what, I just googled some stuff, so spree isn't a 100% copy of what happened but just loosely based on a dude, bc I was confused on how you would do a prequel to the movie bc you'd have to go strictly after what he says in the videos bc you can't just ask a Dead dude what he did before that(also the guy is in fact not dead, he's in prison) but yeah anyways they could actually go nuts with what happened before the spree but that would probably not be a good idea, like you can't just go and make a movie about a guy going on a killing spree(which is based on someone irl) and then see that people loved it and do another one of him just being silly(like the side eyes they'd get, especially from the people on twitter, like they'd get pulverised)

Anyways, sorry if I came of as rude in the last ask, I don't really know how but ywah anyways I just sound like that i guess, but it really was just like a question I guess?

Also, I'm highly scared now that I sounded rude again bc I really didn't mean to be and it eating me alive rn

Yeah Spree is based on a bunch of different stuff, and of course original content, but they’d never base it on just one actual murderer and case, and then make a fun film about it, no one would want that.

Like I was seeing multiple parallels to things when I first watched, and I even saw something literally two days ago where the comments were like oh I wonder if this partly inspired Spree (nothing murder related though). It’s just like any piece of media that’s trying to say something, it’ll be based on a lot of past things including tragedies. Like part of the films message is hey fame and parasocial relationships aren’t everything, and people can lose their humanity chasing clout, and don’t be a fame hungry loser like this guy who’s going on a suicide mission and to hurt a bunch of people only to still crave the people calling him slurs and derogatory things because they’re still numbers. He is a loser. Don’t be him y’all. Anything with a societal message will have even light bases from actual tragedies. Like there’s no telling a story saying ‘hey society’s fucked up rn’ without society having been fucked up in that way in the past. With so many examples it’s not at all hard to pinpoint exactly who Kurt is as a character straight away, and what the films message is.

There’s a bunch of things you could do for a prequel. Kurt Kunkle isn’t based on anyone specifically. He’s his own character. If you wanted to do a prequel about him being an awkward loser and trying to get famous, showing his life and how he got to the point he was in Spree, maybe including a killing or two in his backstory, or showing some of his dark side coming out before his planned spree killing, expanding his character, and showing how he inevitably got to the point of being a monster and dead, you could easily do something like that. I think any plot most people would be happy with, because a lot of fans would just love to see Joe Keery reprise his role as Kurt Kunkle again no matter what. You could literally throw Joe Keery into a room and tell him to do Kurt and it would be a masterpiece, because he’s so good at the character, and a lot of it is his own, and people love the film for that.

You’re supposed to like Kurt. Not agree with what he’s doing, but even a little, especially before the end where he’s become/revealed to be more dark and monstrous and consumed by his need for fame, you are meant to like his character. Which is why they start off with him killing a white supremacist as well, but not before he tells him off. That’s why they got Joe Keery, who’s very well liked, to play him, and why he’s such a magnetic and good character, and why he’s the protagonist of the film. Like almost everything is from his POV, he’s narrating to the audience, you get his backstory (inc in a draw my life), you’re supposed to be rooting for him and also the victims bc he’s like an anti-hero/villain protag, and that’s how those characters work.

Also, the film is a fun film, it’s a popcorn film, you’re supposed to enjoy it, and at least somewhat like the main character who the film pretty much entirely relies on to be a good film, considering how the protag is the focus of pretty much every single scene, and there’s few recurring characters/ones with substance apart from him. Not enjoy his actions, but him as a character, not necessarily a person. There’s a massive difference between a character and a person. But give the person enough traits likeable to an audience as well, because you need that for a protag. Of course you like Kurt a bit. I mean irl you don’t agree with all his crimes you commit, but you might think of him as your silly and skrunkly blorbo that you want to look at fics about to experience more of his character.

Films are supposed to be enjoyed. And again, it’s not based on just one real life murderer. If people enjoy your film so much they wanted a sequel that is not a bad thing. It’s a fun film, with a fun protag, and the first one wouldn’t have been made if it was solely based on one real life event only, and wouldn’t have been made in a more lighthearted way. So a sequel would be no different. If it had been making light of just one real life murderer as it’s only source material, people would already be in uproar on the first film, never mind a conceptualised sequel, but it’s not.

That’s okay, thank you, I’m glad there was no hard feelings or anything. I just haven’t gotten hate on this account yet so we’re not about to start lmao. I’m glad there was no ill intent, so don’t worry about it kay? No harm done :) I promise I’m actually nice and you don’t need to be afraid to ask questions haha, I was just worried there was some passive aggressiveness there, but I’m glad it’s all been cleared up, we’re good dw <3

[youssefguedira]

MAJOR spoilers for most of lupin s3 from episode 1 up to episode 5 below the cut. however

Nicky had never really believed Joe was dead, not in the morgue, when the doctor had announced there was no heartbeat, not even at the funeral, even though his body had been in the coffin, unmoving – but he can’t stop the shudder of relief that goes through him when he walks into his office to find Joe sitting in his chair, feet on the desk like he owns the place. He’s grinning at Nicky. 

“Ciao, Nicolò,” Joe says.

Nicky scrambles to close the door and lock it behind him. As relieved as he’s trying not to be at the concrete proof that Joe is alive, they’re still in his office. Andy could walk in anytime, and though she knows that this case is more than complicated for Nicky (she’d dismissed him from it for a reason, knowing look in her eyes as she did it), it’s her job. 

“Miss me?” Joe asks then, and he’s smiling at Nicky in that way that never fails to make him lose sight of their respective positions, never mind that Nicky is supposed to arrest him here, supposed to want to, instead of wanting to do something ridiculous like – well. He doesn’t let himself follow that line of thought too far. 

“We all thought you were dead,” Nicky says, because it seems like the safest option. There are handcuffs in his pocket. He could reach for them. He doesn’t. Maybe Andy had been right: here is Joe, in his office, practically turning himself in, and Nicky can’t fathom the idea of actually arresting him. Part of the fun of it is the chase, anyway, and then there’s the fact that Joe, bright and lively and fiendishly smart, doesn’t belong in prison, and Nicky can’t stand being the one to put him there. His heart had stopped beating for a moment when they’d led him away after he’d failed to steal the pearl, because Joe never fails, never gets caught. 

“But you didn’t,” Joe says. “Did you?”

Nicky had, for a while. The night after he’d seen Joe’s body in the morgue… well. Andy had given him the next day off without him even having to ask, with that same knowing look. 

And then he’d started to put two and two together, and then they’d caught Booker, and even though Booker denied that Joe was still alive Nicky knew.

“A false panel in the coffin,” Nicky guesses. “A tunnel, probably.”

Joe’s smile widens. “Very good.”

“You make a convincing dead body,” Nicky says, and hopes Joe can’t tell how much it had affected him to see Joe like that. 

Joe hums. “I saw you in the audience at the Place Vendôme. I’m honoured.”

“You know they took me off the case,” Nicky points out. “I wasn’t meant to be there at all.”

“You were at the morgue, too,” Joe continues. “And Booker says you made a bit of a scene at the funeral. I’m flattered you think I could escape death.”

Nicky gestures towards him. “Here you are, no?”

Joe spreads his arms. “Here I am,” he echoes. Then his smile fades. “I need your help.”

There is – whatever Nicky has been doing over the past year, ostensibly searching for Joe but never with his heart truly in it, always secretly hoping Joe would get away, and then there is this. Nicky shakes his head automatically. “No.”

“I have nowhere else to turn,” Joe says, and there is an edge of vulnerability to it that Nicky has never seen before. Joe had always seemed endlessly confident, untouchable. Nicky wonders what it is that has caused the cracks in his armour, that has forced him to place this much trust in Nicky, whose job is to chase him.

“Booker’s in jail,” Joe says. “And you helped me find my niece before. Believe me, Nicolò, I would not have come here if I was not desperate.”

Nicky sighs. If he’s honest with himself, he was never really going to arrest Joe, but – “I want assurance that you aren’t planning to trick me.”

“I would never,” Joe says, his eyes sparkling. “But if you need an incentive, you’ll be able to get back everything I’ve stolen in the past month. Maybe you’ll even be promoted back to my case.”

Nicky shakes his head. “Andy wouldn’t do that,” he says before he can stop himself, and then has the sense to leave it there before he can say anything stupid, like the fact that Andy had demoted him because he thinks he might be a little bit in love with Joe, and he would only hinder the investigation. 

God, he hopes Joe can’t read it on his face. Joe does tilt his head, raising one eyebrow, but thankfully for Nicky’s sanity, he doesn’t press.

Nicky knows, even before Joe explains further, that he’s going to agree. Still, he pretends to consider before he answers.

“What do you need me to do?” he asks. Joe lights up like the sun, smiling again, and Nicky feels himself slip even closer to the point of no return. 

brain worms over ave's joenicky lupin au post + brain worms over lupin s3 = i am about. to do something drastic

[gildedbarbarian]

I mentioned this last night (kinda), but I think I want to talk a little bit about why Eddie Munson means so much to me. Just like... so it’s out there, I guess. Idk.

TW for HOSPITALIZATION, INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, TRAUMA, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, PANIC ATTACKS, IMPLIED SELF HARM

To start off, a little background: I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety since I was a kid. That’s always been there, and honestly I don’t know what my life looks like without it. But to be honest, the last few years have been some of the best and worst of my life. It all kind of came to a head on May 25th of this year. I was in a therapy session explaining the severity of some of my intrusive thoughts and how I planned to handle them, when... my therapist told me that, in no uncertain terms, I needed to go get a mental health evaluation. That night. No waiting. It was one of the scariest moments of my life, I won’t lie to y’all. I couldn’t pretend things weren’t bad anymore, and I was forced to confront it against my own will. 

I was there for a good bit of the night with my roommates, but ultimately it was decided that I would enroll in a Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP). This meant starting off with 6 hours a day in a mental health facility 5 days a week for at least 2 weeks and then transitioning to 3 hours a day, 5 days a week for at least 4 more weeks (Intensive Outpatient Program, or IOP). Volume 1 of Season 4 came out 2 days after my evaluation. The plan had always been to sit down with my roommates and binge it, get through everything as fast as we could, but what I really desperately needed at that point was a sense of control, and my go-to was escapism. 

It didn’t take long for Eddie to become my favorite new character of the season. By his second scene, I was completely and utterly sold. Not only did I think he was adorable and sweet and pretty and all of those things, but there was also this part of me that looked at him and felt... seen. I don’t know how else to put it. I looked at this disastrous, indulgent freak of a man (affectionate) who was judged for the way he presented and the things he liked and the place he came from and saw... so many parts of myself. I saw my own desperate fight to be difficult to swallow, to look at. It was a little bit like looking at who I wish I’d been in high school, rather than the meek little girl I’d actually been. 

I started PHP the following Tuesday, still fairly convinced that I didn’t need nearly as much help as anyone else there. I didn’t feel like I was above them or better than anyone, but I still thought I had my shit together. That illusion was pretty much shattered by day 3. And see the thing about it all is that I find parts of myself in fictional characters and latch onto them for all they’re worth. Some of them are stronger than others, but like... really and truly, there are fictional characters that have changed my life. As I started to really dig into my trauma and unearth and remember shit that I didn’t... even know existed, didn’t want to remember, didn’t want to have anything to do with. As I was having panic attacks and struggling to feel safe in my own body and effectively, dramatic as it sounds, grappling with whether or not I had a future now that I was staring down my past, Eddie came up a lot. One of the therapists in the program really took to that and helped push me to look at what that meant for myself. How seeing the best and the worst of myself in Eddie wasn’t a bad thing. 

I ended up getting his bat tattoo on my arm for my birthday. I rewatched Volume 1 four times before Volume 2 even came out. I memorized his scenes, I scrambled for every scrap of content I could get, gripping on with everything I had. Eddie, really and truly, became a fundamental part of my recovery process. Without that character as a metaphor, as a lifeline, as something to lean on (along with my genuinely fucking incredible support system), I don’t know if I would have made it through all 8 weeks of that program. And if I didn’t make it through all 8 weeks of that program, there’s a really good chance that I wouldn’t have made it to today. 

Especially now, knowing that so many of the parts of Eddie that fed into my attachment to him came from Joe, I feel... so singularly grateful to him as a person. I really hope one day I’m able to thank him for what he did with Eddie, because I’m not joking or being dramatic when I say that Eddie Munson may have genuinely saved my life. 

Anyway, that’s the bare bones (kinda?) of my story. I just felt kind of compelled to share. So thanks for reading, if you made it through the whole thing. I love you guys. 

[icallhimjoey]

A Whisper Away

♥ ♥  Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: A continuation of Like A Poem and A Lot Like Love where we dip into your November for a couple consecutive years and see how you’re getting on with the bookstore, Joe’s career and… other changes.

CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, angsty, I strongly advise you to read the previous bookstore fics before diving into this one!

Author’s note: an amazing request from @darthvontrapp​ inspired this “third season” in the bookstore - im LOVING your feedback on it so far, keep it coming! 

Wordcount: 3.5K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

“You can never let him know that I’m letting you listen to this,” you said to your mother. You were both sat on your sofa, and she just smiled at you as she sipped her tea.

“No, mum. I’m serious. He’ll actually murder me.” you were serious, but your eyes were comically big and the sight of you gave your mum a hard time not cracking up.

You pressed play on the voicemail Joe had left you about 18 hours earlier, in the middle of the previous night. 

“Hey, it’s me... Joe,” 

It had been 17 hours and 50 minutes since you’d first listened to it. Three o’clock in the morning. For some reason, the ringing of your phone hadn’t awoken you, but the text message you received straight after, alerting you of a new voicemail message, had shocked you from your sleep. 

You saw Joe’d called you, and it took you a second to fully understand the situation. Panic took over; maybe something was wrong with Alfie. 

But, would he not just have called a couple of times if that had been the case? You eyed the time and the date on your phone, and groaned a little. 

Then you received another text. From Joe this time.

“please delete that, sorry x” 

Still in bed, half asleep, head pressed firmly into your pillow, you decided you would listen to the message straight away, ignoring Joe’s request entirely. You loved being pocket-dialed and eavesdropping in on conversations. Receiving a voicemail you were then asked not to listen to? An impossible task.

“Hey, it’s me... Joe,”

The fact that Joe thought he needed to clarify that it was him by mentioning his name felt so stupid, it was almost insulting. 

“I know I’m calling at an awful hour, I thought maybe you’d be awake anyway, but I guess not,” 

Joe’s voice was deep and sleepy, and you could hear that he was trying to stay as quiet as he could. He left long pauses in his speech and dragged out words like he wasn’t really sure of what he was going to say next, and you wondered what had prompted him to call you at three o’clock in the morning. You hadn’t spoken about anything other than the necessary information about Alfie whenever he’d pick him up, or you’d drop him off. You hadn’t talked to each other in ages, especially not since deciding that perhaps, taking a break from each other would be the best thing for you. 

“That’s good,” 

You’d tried. For months, you had really tried. You’d gone to view some houses with Joe, because he really wanted you to move out of the apartment. You’d visited Joe three times on set in the United States, opting not to join him for the full duration of it, but be there at the start, somewhere in the middle, and near the end of filming. In between you had FaceTimed lots, but you’d felt Joe slip away from you. All you’d talk about was Alfie, and your chats became more formal, just exchanging what needed exchanging. You’d decided Mondays the bookstore wouldn’t open, and Sundays, you’d close early. Sometimes you’d even open late on Tuesdays. 

You had tried. You’d really, really tried. 

But you'd been raised on books. Books that always had the time for you. Books that never made you wait for them. Books that would give you quiet time and space away from them for hours if you needed them to, only to be right there, ready and willing when you wanted to pick them up again. Books that wouldn't assume. Books that didn't fill blanks themselves, that didn't go behind your back to fix things, to make things worse in the process. 

Books that you loved so dearly, that had seemingly been the solid foundation of your relationship, but now seemed to have its pages torn - it's last few chapters ripped out and missing.

“I mean, it’s good that you’re not awake. Dad said that you’d been having trouble sleeping- not that we, we don’t... he doesn’t tell me the things you two talk about. I ask, but... you know what he’s like,” 

There were days where Joe wouldn’t be able to pick Alfie up, and Joe’s dad would stop by to take him off your hands. He’d always make time to ask you how you were; how you were feeling, how you were coping. At first, you’d never reveal much, but as time passed, he’d know how to get small bits of information out of you. He’d commented on how you looked tired the other day, and you’d said you hadn’t been sleeping very well. You knew it was mostly the time of year that got under your skin, and Joe’s dad had suggested for you to maybe talk to Joe about Alfie’s days. Maybe you could arrange for Alfie to be at Joe’s a bit more in these months. “Yea, maybe,” you’d just nodded and smiled, knowing that you couldn’t, but that his dad was only trying to help. You missed Alfie enough as it was when he’d have his days at Joe’s.    

“Today Alfie had a rough day. He kept wanting things and even if I gave them, it just, wouldn’t be right... at one point he just sat in the corner beside the sofa, hidden in the curtains for a while and when I went to check on him after a bit, he was reading! Can you believe that? He had his book, the one with all the animals in, and had it open in his lap like he was actually reading it!” 

Joe just... talked. He talked. You had a hard time coming around to the fact that he had called you, just to talk. On this day. At this time. You imagined him in bed, phone pressed to his ear in the dark, with the urge to just... talk to you, and then just taking the plunge, picking up the phone before he could’ve changed his mind. You felt emotion shoot up your throat as Joe recounted his day with Alfie. 

“Of course, I didn’t disturb him... I know the rules,” 

You could hear Joe’s smile through the phone and you chuckled through a loud sob that surprised you, hot tears sinking into your pillow. Joe was silent for a bit, and you wished you could’ve seen his face to guess his train of thought. 

“I just... God, I was really hoping to catch you. I don’t know what it is... maybe it's the time of year? But I can’t seem to get you out of my mind, none of it is getting any easier... I miss you. My friends said it would get easier, but I still miss you,” 

Joe missed you. You knew in that moment that you’d be listening to this message again a million more times, just to hear him say that over and over again. He missed you. And you missed Joe too, but you couldn't help but only miss a very specific version of him. One that he didn't seem to have any of left within him now.

“Remember when we found out we were having Alfie? I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in my life, I just... I couldn’t stop thinking of all the things that could go wrong, you know? But the way you... you just...” 

You allowed yourself to reminisce along with him. Joe had made offhand comments about having children someday a couple of times, so you knew that he’d definitely wanted them at some point. You just hadn’t expected for it to happen so soon. You’d been on antibiotics for a bladder infection and had forgotten that sometimes, antibiotics render contraception useless. At least, that’s what you heard could happen, so that’s what you thought must have happened. The two of you’d had to make quick decisions. Were you going to do this? Yes, you both wanted to. Even with Joe’s career? Yes, you’d figure it out, you’d been so sure of it. Would Joe move into the apartment above the store with you? Yes, he already practically lived there anyway. Joe’s flatmate could easily rack up the rent for the flat himself and was happy he’d get more space in return. Joe’s old bedroom had been converted into an office, and the small office they’d shared before, had become storage. 

Joe’d been lucky that his flatmate had immediately opened his doors for him when he asked if he could move back in. Joe’d said it would probably be temporary, but now, the office had become his full bedroom again, and the storage room was now Alfie’s. 

“You’re one of the strongest people I know. I don’t think I realised it then... witnessing you giving birth, however, Jesus... I don’t- have I ever told you this? It took so long, but the way you powered through the whole thing, one of the nurses afterwards told me how impressed she was because she’d seen other ladies give up having not gone through half of what you had to deal with, and you looked like you could’ve easily gone eight more hours if you had to. You were... I don’t know, chipper? Just, so animated, they all loved you. You were cracking jokes all the way up until you fell asleep afterwards... I couldn’t laugh at a single one of them, I was so sick with nerves...” 

You honestly didn’t remember much from your labour, just that it took ages. You didn’t remember the things your mother kept telling you for encouragement. You didn’t remember Joe’s terrified, worried, ashen complexion. Apparently he’d been clammy the whole time, wiping sweat from your face just as much as from his own. You didn’t remember the nurses laughing at jokes you were making, and you didn’t remember much of the pain either.

You did remember the first sounds Alfie made. And you did remember Joe’s proud tears as he looked at you with Alfie pressed against your chest. You also remembered how you had felt after giving birth - the euphoria of that moment was something you wish you could’ve bottled up for future use, because oh my God, that had been different from anything else you’d ever experienced before. You honestly thought another pregnancy would be worth considering just for that feeling.  

“I’m sorry, I don’t know where this is coming from... I should probably hang up, I’ll see you tomorrow when I drop off Alfie after nursery,” 

Joe seemed suddenly embarrassed. Like he all of the sudden had realised what he was doing. You wondered if maybe he’d been drinking and was now slowly sobering up. But he didn’t hang up the phone. He let another silence linger and you wondered how much longer until voicemail would cut him off. 

“Do you know how much I love you? I know I’m probably not meant to say, but I... I love you. A lot. I just need you to know that.”  

Hearing Joe say those words made you think back to the last time he’d said them to you. It was during the saddest fight you’d ever had with him. It’s when ultimately you’d said that you thought maybe you couldn’t do this with Joe. That maybe being with Joe Quinn wasn’t written in the stars for you, because you found it more and more difficult as Joe’s fame grew. Joe’d sarcastically agreed, furiously so, shouting things like, “Of course you can’t fucking do this with me, what, with all the trouble it’s giving you,”, insinuating that whatever issues you were having with it weren't real. Like the thing you'd been scared of from the start wasn't still looming over you so threateningly. Joe had tried to make being with him sound all sorts of simple, and you knew even then that it wouldn't be, so you'd pretend. You'd pretend it was simple, until you couldn't anymore. When you had proposed to take an actual break from each other for a little while, Joe had broken down completely. His anger had immediately shifted into sad desperation, and you didn’t remember how long you’d held Joe as he’d violently sobbed and kept repeating that he loved you. 

“I miss you... I can’t look at Alfie without missing you. He gave me a look today that was just- it was exactly your face. The nose scrunch you do, the eye roll. He rolled his eyes at me! This kid, I swear to God... Although, he might’ve gotten the eye roll from Anne, I’m not sure...”

You laughed through your tears as you listened.

“I hope you have an alright day, don’t let this message ruin it. I’m sorry if it does.” 

It sounded like Joe was rounding of his phone call for the second time, but once again, he let a silence fall before carrying on.

“Can I... just, I need to... do you miss me? I’m never sure if... like, do I move on now? I’m not sure how I could, but is that... is that what’s happening right now? Are we just postponing breaking up for real? Because I don’t know how much longer I can be on this break,” 

You swung legs over the edge of your bed, and looked around the dark room, focussing on what you thought might be clothing items you could quickly grab to put on. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that... shit, what am I doing? Sorry, you’re better off deleting this message all together. I... I’ll text you to delete it, sorry, I’ll see you tomorrow,”  

You didn’t waste any time. You hadn’t even fully registered the last couple of things Joe’d said because you were busy, jumping into a pair of jeans and scanning the room to see if you left your shoes in there somewhere. With your shoelaces still undone, you grabbed your coat from its hook, found your keys on the side and scurried your way down the stairs.

You didn’t want to ring Joe’s doorbell, knowing the godawful sound it would echo throughout the apartment. You didn’t need to wake up Alfie, you just needed to see Joe. But it was raining, and you were cold, and Joe wasn’t answering his phone, so you had no other choice. When the door buzzed open, you raced inside, giving for the stairs, taking two at a time, leaving a wet trail from the front door of the building all the way to the front door of Joe's flat. 

When you rounded the corner, you could see Joe waiting for you in his doorway, squinty eyes, confused and frowning as you pulled into his focus. You were rushing, and when you opened your arms in your last few steps, Joe braced for impact and caught you. You lips crashed onto his as you legs curled around his back. Joe had no other choice but to kiss you back. You hadn't kissed each other in weeks and you were desperate for his mouth. And from the way Joe so readily accepted all of your bodyweight as you'd practically jumped him, drenched from the rain, you knew he must have felt the same.

"Do I miss you?" your tone was accusing as you spoke into his mouth, grasping onto his shoulders tighter. "Are you fucking serious?" the cold rain had left you freezing. You really felt how cold you were when held up and pressed tightly against Joe's warm body, and you shivered into your kiss. 

"You listened to the voicemail," Joe took a few steps into the flat with you in his arms and turned to use his hip to shut the door behind you, lips only leaving yours to whisper.

"Of course I did, you idiot," you whisper yelled at him, very aware that you were in a flat with two sleeping people and you leant back from your kiss to look at his face. 

"You're soaked," Joe whispered, scanning you over like he hadn't seen or felt it yet. Joe looked like the Joe you'd fallen in love with years ago. Hair fluffy, face scruffy, his T-shirt loosely hung on his frame. You, on the other hand, looked like you'd taken a cold shower with your clothes on. 

"It's raining," you let your feet find the floor, but Joe was quick to pull you back into another kiss, his hands on your cheeks, nose nudging around yours slowly and you couldn't help but melt into it. 

"I shouldn't have called," Joe started slowly pushing you backwards, manouvering you to his bedroom, his tongue finding yours to play with.

"You shouldn't have called," you lied, and let Joe guide you down the hallway until he closed his bedroom door behind the two of you. 

"And then what?" your mother asked, and if she hadn't been holding a hot mug of tea, you'd have smacked her with one of your sofa cushions. Like you were going to go into detail with her - absolutely not.

"What do you mean, and then what?" your reddened cheeks surely gave away what had happened next, and your mother knew, but that didn't mean she didn't get to make fun of it a little. 

"Well, why isn't he here?" your mother gestured around the apartment.

"Because... I don't know, we're still on a break?" you shrugged. It didn't make sense, but you guessed that you kind of were, still. One night together hadn't effectively fixed anything, but it had opened a door you thought maybe you wouldn't be able to open anymore. 

The next morning you'd showered at Joe's flat, had a very awkward interaction with Joe's flatmate before taking a very surprised Alfie over to nursery with Joe. You'd strolled hand in hand for a minute, the sleeves of your coat still wet and cold to the touch, but Joe hadn't let go until he had to because you'd arrived. You'd then parted ways, and as you'd turned around, Joe'd squeezed your bum and he'd given you a naughty smile when you'd silently scolded him for doing so in public. Then, you'd walked back to the store, and found Anne there, getting the store ready to open at 10. 

At 11, the door to the store had opened and to your surprise, Joe had wandered in. You'd been up high on a ladder when you saw him enter, and your heart stopped for a second when you saw Anne look at him from behind the counter. You half expected him to be there to talk. But then, Joe had politely said hi to Anne and had given her a tight lipped smile, like he wasn't Joe, but instead a regular, old, bookstore customer. You watched him from above as he let his eyes wander some shelves before picking up a book, taking off his coat and sitting down in an armchair. His armchair.

Anne had looked up at you and frowned as if to say, what the fuck is he doing. You frowned back, just as confused as she was, shaking your head a little as if to say, I don't fucking know, but you couldn't help having to hide a smile, pursing your lips in a poor attempt.

"He came into the store to read," you said to your mother, as if that explained anything at all. "Spent over two hours sat in one of the armchairs, like he used to. When I made him a cup of coffee, he said thank you like we were strangers flirting with each other, it was so stupid," you grinned.

Your mother eyed you for a second before inhaling sharply. "Sometimes I forget how much you resemble him," she smiled as she leant forward to place her mug on your coffee table. You knew who she was talking about. You grandfather was the reason she'd come over in the first place, because she thought you'd probably have had a rough day. Instead, you'd surprised her with bright eyes and with elated body language when you had let her in. 

"I do?" you were instantly curious.

"Oh God, are you joking? All of the issues you and Joe seem to be having, it's like I'm 6 and listening to my own parents bicker over the dinner table," your mother shook her head as she laughed, and you could see her eyes gloss over slightly as she seemed to sink into her memories.

"Did they... were they okay? In the end?" you asked carefully after a short silence, watching your mother's face as she nodded whilst staring into space. "Oh yea, they figured it out - it was easy, once they did," 

"How did they do it?" 

Your mother then turned to look at you and was met by her daughter, staring at her with big eyes, filled with big emotions. She gave you a reassuring smile. 

"The books. It was always the books." 

-----

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