#i guess logically it sort of is tho

[defensivelee]

God's high, sky high

[spilling-blood]

It should not be possible to dream about work.

[todayisafridaynight]

SO FUNNY I was just about to write in complaining that I got sick a day after you posted your last comic... I caught it... yet I don't have an Arakawa to take care of me... [<- I started writing this when you answered my last ask]

OH BUT NO WORRIES AT ALL I always love reading your responses and these were no exception :) It really means the world to me to have you guys listen! I believe I've [probably] mentioned the headcanon is a bit personal [In Other Words projection galore but. Believable Enough. Please DO dare to think... It'll work out...]; I was more or less expecting to keep it to myself forever because I felt the Venn Diagram of people who would know what I'm talking about and be interested had no overlap. I'm incredibly grateful to be able to have these talks and the assurance that's not the case :) and also I just kinda don't wanna Mansplain Jo To You so I'm glad that doesn't seem to be the case as well

AND I MEAN... LOL... LMAO EVEN...

it would be a pretty fair to pursue that line of thinking given he has both visible symptoms of sleep deprivation and things to lose sleep over... reminded of Debt [TWISTING AND WAILING AND CONVULSING] but also the counterpart to Matrophobia you were thinking about...

I absoluuuutely get what you mean by the mirror thing too I see you in the kitchen I smell what you're cooking... same here... very excited to see what he's like when he doesn't have to be a bullet as well... here are those for the sake of completion [If I May I think perhaps he wouldn't feel the need to change his name, just feel a disconnect if it's his father's family name and/or his given name was chosen by his father. Like an ambivalent Aoki I guess; he knows he'll answer to it so why fix what ain't broke and "inconvenience others"...]

SORRY FOR RAMBLING MYSELF HGLDJLKDJG again No Worries At All since you shouldn't be saying much with your Gameritis anyway... I hope your wrist gets better soon, rest up and take care!

NOT MY SILLY COMIC GIVIN YOU THE FLU (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) hope youre doin better now gettin sick SUCKS (╯x╰ )

oh but yaya of course : i have a cockroach for a brain so im glad star can supplement a lot more valuable commentary (╯▽╰ ) even if i have bugs for brains im still happy to see what you (and star should they write again) have to say :)

[wwinterwitch]

girl next door – bucky barnes x fem!reader

summary: bucky's feeling so lonely that he developed a little obsession with a camgirl, unaware that she's his neighbor

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!camgirl!reader

word count: 14.6k

tags: SMUT (like a lot!! but there's also plot), kinda loser!bucky at first, camgirl stuff (let's pretend i know how it works), m and f masturbation on and off camera, mentions of porn, dirty talk, alpine makes an appearance, bucky is dumb because he could've easily recognized you tbh, fear of catching feelings, overthinker!reader i guess, pet names (doll, baby), kinda softdom!bucky (he's sweet and shy sometimes but oh so sexy), kinda sub!reader, body worship, oral (f and m receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, protected p in v (just the pill tho), awkwardness, a pinch of fluff

a comment and/or reblog is always appreciated!

all masterlists | marvel masterlist

It all starts on a casual Friday night.

Most people would be celebrating the arrival of the weekend, doing or planning something fun. But not Bucky. Oh, no, not him. He's far too worried about other things. His own way of…celebrating.

It’s important to make one thing cristal clear: he doesn’t have an issue. It's not like he has an addiction or anything. However, he does enjoy masturbating from time to time. Every guy does it. It's fine. Perhaps Bucky enjoys it a little too much, but it's not an obsession by any means.

He also enjoys watching porn when he does it. Again, nothing wrong with that. Completely normal. It just gets him in the mood. He has a few preferred selections that really get him going, having perfected his list of porn videos to fit his precise likes. The ones that fit all his requirements to get really turned on. The ones that make bursting in his hand...as satisfactory as a handjob can get.

It's not like a handjob isn't phenomenal. He loves it! But sometimes he wishes he could have someone to help him out from time to time. It’s been a while since he’s had sex with someone, so logically he’d find himself missing that sort of intimacy from time to time. Is it too lame of him to admit he wants to be accompanied by someone else rather than the actors featured in the movies he watches? 

The only problem is that Bucky doesn’t really have the energy for all of that, because it means having a level of socializing that he just doesn’t have. He tried online dating for a while, and although it did help him find a few casual hook ups here and there, he eventually got bored of it. Going to a bar all by himself is not an option either because it only makes him feel like a creep. And there’s absolutely no way he’ll ask Sam or Joaquín to join him, because he knows the consequences of that.

But he just found a literal goldmine tonight.

Usually, he doesn't pay any attention to the ads that pop up in the porn sites he regularly visits, but this time one of them piqued his interest when he read the large banner with neon red letters: FEELING LONELY? LET A SEXY CAMGIRL CHANGE YOUR LIFE NOW!

It's as if the universe is answering all of his prayers. A girl live streaming herself for the viewers' pleasure? Now, that's something that might interest him. The spontaneity of it all. The fact that someone is right there at the same time with him, even if it's through the camera. It might help provide what he's looking for with barely any effort from his part. And if it doesn’t help, at least he gave it a try.

He signs up to the website almost immediately, looking through the profiles of the girls that were streaming at the time. That's when he found you.

First thing that catches his eye is your profile photo. You, looking back at him with sinful eyes, wearing a baby pink lingerie set. Unlucky for him, he's unable to make much of your face, hidden behind a white bunny mask that prevents him from knowing what you actually look like aside from your body.

But he doesn’t really need to know how you look to already feel like he knows you. The answer to all of his prayers. He was meant to see this ad tonight and find you. The unbelievably hot girl with the bunny mask.

Without thinking twice, he paid for the required subscription to your profile in order to have access to all of your content– a private gallery filled with photos of you and the privilege to access your streams with zero restrictions.

He clicks on the icon with the little camera that has a red light on it, entering your livestream. There's quite a few people watching, some leaving comments on a live chat or sending you various donations.

Bucky's practically unable to take his eyes off you. You’re wearing the bunny mask you were also wearing in that photo, currently posing for the camera as you show off a new dress you bought a few days ago, making sure to show your ass to the camera, leaning just enough to show your lace underwear.

You've got to be the hottest woman he has ever seen, from the way you carry yourself on camera, to the way you're able to keep the audience engaged with your captivating personality– not to mention he finds your body incredibly attractive too. And your voice...holy shit. Your sweet and angelic voice is enough on its own to make him painfully hard already.

The stream continues. Bucky watches as you take a seat on your pink desk chair, adjusting the camera to a good angle before you start removing your dress, leaving you in just your underwear.

“Oh, you like my panties? Thank you so much,” you read a comment out loud, smirking playfully as you show them off. “I'm sure none of you will be sad when I take them off, though.”

Bucky can't help it– you're so hot, it's like he's incapable of physically handling it. He hears you read a few more comments while he quickly works to get rid of his pants and boxers, leaning back on his bed again as he keeps his eyes glued to his laptop.

His hand wraps around his cock just as you begin trailing your hands down your body, almost taunting the viewers because they have no way of touching you right now. It's like you're a goddess, fully aware that you deserve to be worshipped. And if that’s the case, he's completely devoted to you and you alone.

Before he knows it, you’re removing your bra for the audience. He’s seeing your naked tits for the first time and he's absolutely in love with them already. The thought of being able to hold them in his hands before putting one inside his mouth is just...fuck, it makes him moan out loud as he continues to stroke himself.

He keeps watching, barely keeping it together when you finally take your panties off, casually lifting one leg so it rests on the armrest of the chair, properly exposing yourself to the camera.

Bucky's mouth practically salivates at the sight of your wet pussy fully on display for him. It’s a mystery how he doesn’t come as soon as he’s hearing you moan for the very first time when your fingers start circling around your clit. It's heaven. You are his heaven. Everything he's been looking for and more.

He spends his Friday night watching you make yourself come with your fingers and a few sex toys, moaning over and over. Watching you orgasm has got to be his new favorite thing in the entire world. Needless to say, he came in his hand until he just didn't have anymore in him to give. It's all for you. Every last drop is for you and you only. His goddess. His heaven. His prayer.

You really are changing his life already.

From that day forward, he never once missed any of your streams. Lucky for him you're consistent with it, showing up from time to time to entertain your viewers. Sometimes you're sitting in your pink chair, others you're relaxing in bed. One time you were in your bathtub.

He loves all of it. All of you. He can't believe he has met someone as perfect as you. As lame as it might be, you’re probably the person he interacts with the most these days…even when you don’t even know he exists. It’s starting to feel as if you're someone he knows in real life. 

Well, perhaps you do have some idea of who he is, because a few comments here and there on your live chat might've slipped from his side, eager to catch your attention. He was incredibly pleased when you read some of them out loud, practically addressing him personally. But that’s all the communication he’s had with you.

But then...another treasure. It happened when you were ending one of your lives.

"I know some of you will get very excited with this news," you started, smiling at the camera. "I'm booking a few private calls, in case you're looking for a fun time just the two of us." Your voice is suggestive, but also incredibly sweet. Music to his ears. "You better hurry if you want to get one!"

This is the perfect opportunity to get closer to you. It's great! He can't wait to have a one-on-one interaction with you. The streams are great, of course, but to have the chance to be only you and him…that’s something he's willing to do whatever to get it.

All he needed to do was pay a few extra dollars and submit minimal information about which options of the ones you were offering in your profile fitted his schedule better to have this private session with you with absolutely no distractions. He was able to successfully book his session for next week. Sunday at midnight. From that day forward, it's practically all he could think about.

You're not particularly thrilled to do these private sessions with random men that were subscribed to you, because most of them are a bit (a lot) creepy. Hopefully this time at least one of your bookings is a woman, since they're way more fun to talk to. But still, even when you don’t like the idea that much, you need the extra money and the quickest way to get it are those private conversations.

Just as you predicted, most of the guys that paid for those sessions are middle-aged creeps who just wanted to watch you touch yourself while they watched in silence. Not a single attempt at making some conversation before you get to it. Not one of them asks about how you're doing, or even takes the time to say goodbye to you. Granted, they pay for the sexual content...but a simple 'thank you, have a good night' wouldn't hurt anybody! 

This particular day, you only have one session booked at midnight, so you decide to take a few pictures of you before you have to log in, posing at the edge of your bed with your lingerie set. Since you still have half an hour left, you entertain yourself by selecting the exact pictures from your improvised photoshoot that you would like to post tomorrow to keep your profile as active as possible.

Exactly at midnight, you get the notification that your client is already connected and waiting for you. Sitting comfortably on your chair, you fix your hair and your bunny mask before logging in as well, silently hoping that it's a woman this time...

You're met with nothing. Whoever's on the other side of the call has both their camera and microphone off. This is not a good sign. Definitely not a woman or a half-decent guy.

Still, you act like nothing's wrong, smiling up at the camera. “Hello!” you greet cheerfully. A few seconds pass, until you see a message on the chat. Oh my fucking God. They're asking if they have to turn their mic and camera on. “Yeah, I mean...that way I can see and hear you. Of course you don't have to if you don't want to,” you reply, feeling more and more unease about whoever is on the other side of the screen. “I personally think it's more fun that way...but it's completely up to you!”

On the other side, Bucky is absolutely freaking out. He didn’t fully register in his brain that you would expect to see and hear him too! Of course he should've seen that coming. What is the point of having a one-on-one call with someone if you can’t see the other person? How did he completely forget about that little detail? 

His apartment is a complete mess, his bed is unmade...shit. You'll think he's some kind of caveman with the way his clothes are scattered around the floor and his sheets are all over the place.

Panicking, he runs outside his room to the living room, knowing that place is a bit more tidy. He throws a few empty beer cans and an empty pizza box from last night to the floor to make room for his laptop on the coffee table. His heart is racing, still hesitating, but he doesn't want to keep you waiting any longer.

He turns his mic and camera on, mortified to see himself on a small rectangle on the left upper corner of his screen. The only thing that gives him some sort of comfort is the smile you offer him when you're finally able to see him. 

“Now, that's a lot better!” you comment with a playful giggle. What a sight. He might be a complete weirdo, but holy fuck does his muscles look good with that shirt! And the way he runs his fingers through his hair in order to push it out of his face...

For the sake of professionalism, you decide to leave it at that. 

You’re about to talk, but he beats you to it. “I'm so sorry I kept you waiting. I should've known you were supposed to see me as well,” he offers with an apologetic smile, looking genuinely ashamed of that little incident.

Fuck, his voice. “It's okay, no need to worry. I'm assuming this is your first time ever chatting with a camgirl like this then?”

“Uh...it's– well, yeah,” he stutters, feeling embarrassed to reveal his inexperience when it comes to this whole thing. “I found the website like two months ago. I saw your profile and...well, here we are.”

“Here we are,” you repeat with a smile, thinking his awkwardness is somehow endearing. “Well, you paid for this session, so I'm entirely yours for an hour. We'll do whatever you want to do.”

Your comment certainly gets to him, mind flooding with images of what exactly he would do to you if you were here on his couch with him right now. He would spend more than an hour trying to give you exactly what a goddess like you deserves. But as he thinks about voicing any of it, he can't bring himself to it, feeling way too vulnerable now that you can see him. It's just way too personal now. He enjoys it, but it's also incredibly intimidating.

He would really like to have you moaning just for him for an entire hour, but he still wants to be respectful. It doesn't feel right to him to just jump straight into it. It doesn’t feel right to give you instructions based on his own preferences either.

Perhaps he's not made for this.

“Can’t we just...talk a little bit first?”

You’re a bit surprised by this outcome, but you try not to let it show, continuing the interaction as normal instead. “Sure. What do you want to talk about?”

Bucky shrugs. “Anything, really. How are you?”

He wants to punch himself in the face. How are you? Really? It feels like he's just digging himself an even bigger hole with each word that comes out of his mouth. At least you don't look like you're thinking his question was the most pathetic thing you've heard in your life– he knows for a fact that you’re definitely thinking it, but at least you’re kind enough to hide it.

“I'm alright. I went out for lunch today with a few of my friends.” Taking a brief pause, you notice he doesn’t have much to say, so you decide to continue in hopes to make him feel less nervous. “We're doing this thing where we try a new restaurant every now and then like we're food critics,” it’s all you add, because you’re not really sure how far he's willing to listen to you before he's asking you to take your clothes off. 

“That sounds fun. How was it?” he asks, sounding genuinely interested. That rarely ever happens in these private sessions. “What was the final rating?”

“Well, we all agreed that the food is good but a bit expensive. Location is very good too but the place lacked decor and identity. It was overall a seven out of ten.”

“Wow, you really are invested in this.”

His comment makes you laugh. A genuine laugh. “It's becoming a hobby of mine, I think.”

“It's a nice hobby. I can't remember the last time I tried going to a new place to get food. I always visit the same three places.”

“Well, that's good too. It means you're more of a habit kind of guy. Besides, if the food's good, why venture out to other places?”

“Yeah...thing is, I just prefer them for the prices.” He makes you laugh again, which immediately makes him smile. What an achievement it is to make you laugh twice already. “Is it okay if I ask another question?”

“Of course.”

“Why the bunny mask? I mean, I get that you might need it to avoid creeps knowing what you look like, but...is there any meaning behind it?”

For a moment, you genuinely forgot about the mask. The conversation and overall vibe of him is so comforting, it feels like you're just facetiming with a friend. “There's really not much meaning behind it. I just found it at a sex shop and it looked cute so I bought it. It was this or just a regular lace one.”

“I think the other one would've looked good on you too,” he comments, already starting to feel a bit more comfortable. “I mean…I doubt anything would ever look bad on you.”

“Thank you. Aren't you a sweetheart?” you reply with a smirk, voice starting to get slightly more seductive now, sensing he’s easing into it. “Is it okay if I ask you a question now?”

He gets slightly nervous, not sure of what you might ask. He tries to play it cool to avoid looking like a fool again, the image of his mortified face appearing on the screen when he first turned the camera on still haunting him. “Sure.”

“Why did you end up on the website?”

The question stuns him for a minute, thinking about his answer for a bit before clearing his throat. “Uh, to be completely honest...porn just wasn't doing it for me anymore,” he says, feeling incredibly embarrassed once again, but trying to ignore it for the sake of the conversation. “I wanted to explore something new.”

“I see...and what drew you to my profile?”

Bucky smiles shyly, which you think it's the cutest thing ever. “You said ‘a question’,” he points out, making emphasis on the fact that it was supposed to be just one.

“Oh, don't be like that,” you reply with a pout, knowing you'd get your answer anyway. “I'm just curious, that’s all. I wonder what made you want to pay for the privilege of watching me.”

You can tell your words are starting to get to him, judging by the slight shift in his body language. The way his jaw slightly clenches, spreading his legs just enough for you to notice, the nervous fidgeting of his hands...he's trying to keep it together. It's fun, in a way. To see just how much you need to push in order to watch him break.

“I really liked your photo.”

“Yeah? What did you like so much about it?” you push further, eager to see him break and fully relax into this experience. “I can't imagine it was just the bunny mask…”

He can feel himself losing it already. He's getting hard and you've barely even done anything yet. Like any other desperate freak who watches your streams– although, perhaps that's all he really is. A massive freak who enjoys paying to watch a girl touch herself in real time while he masturbates to it.

“You look very hot in it,” he offers, which makes you smirk wider. “And your tits look phenomenal.”

You giggle at the compliment. “They're gorgeous, aren't they?” you ask almost immediately, cupping them with your hands as you begin to gently massage them, noticing the way his eyes darken at the sight of it. “Would you like to see them?”

Silence. He can feel his cock practically twitching inside his trousers. “Yes.”

“Manners, James,” you remind him, and he looks surprised because he wasn’t exactly sure if you even know his name.

He allows himself to breathe, feeling almost frustrated by how turned on he is right now. “Y-Yes, please. I'd really like to see them.”

“Now, that’s much better.”

Pleased with his words, you begin to slowly remove your bra from your body, making sure to take your time with it to make him feel even more desperate for it. You could see it in his face. The way he's becoming more and more impatient as you slide the straps down your arms, making sure the bra stays in place in your chest before completely removing it.

He can't help himself anymore, having to adjust his pants in an effort to make room for his cock inside his clothes. It's practically impossible to ignore the bulge in his pants, immediately making you wonder how he might look with absolutely nothing on his body. The idea already makes your head spin.

“So pretty…” you hear him mutter under his breath as he watches you play with them for his entertainment. “Such gorgeous tits.”

His words make you let out a soft moan, encouraged by his undivided attention to everything that you're doing. As soon as he hears it, his cock is twitching again inside his pants, making him almost grit his teeth because it's just too much. You're too much. 

“I can tell you really like them,” you comment playfully, hinting at the massive erection inside his pants. “Why don't you relieve yourself? I bet you're dying to.”

His heart beats fast against his chest, uncertainty invading him momentarily once again. “Can I?”

You can't help but think how adorable he is, even under these circumstances. “Yeah. I want to see what it is that you do to yourself every time you watch me.”

Bucky practically groans at your words, immediately trying to get rid of his pants and boxers before sitting back down on the couch. You watch him, cock hard and thick it almost makes you salivate. It's perfect. Oh, the amount of fun you'd have with him inside your mouth...

The thought alone is making you clench around nothing, also starting to become a bit desperate for this to continue. Still playing with your breasts, another soft moan escapes you when he begins to eagerly stroke himself.

In other circumstances, he would probably be very embarrassed to masturbate in front of someone he barely even knows, but you make him feel oddly comfortable. That, and he's also incredibly turned on. He couldn't possibly wait any longer without proving himself some sort of relief.

Your eyes focus on his hand, moving up and down his thick cock, a series of soft grunts and moans escaping his lips. It's a mesmerizing sight.

“Can you...would you please touch yourself too?” His voice is absolutely desperate, eager to see more of your body.

An innocent smile appears on your face, a hand slowly trailing down your stomach to the edge of your panties. “How can I say no to you when you ask so nicely?” you reply in a playful voice, your hand sneaking underneath your underwear to finally be able to alleviate some of the pent up desire that’s been accumulating in your body. 

Bucky moans even louder now, watching you spread your legs, head resting back on the chair as you enjoy the sensation of your fingers rubbing lazy circles over your clit.

“Take them off,” he says, not once stopping to masturbate in front of you. “I need to see.”

You're way too turned on at this point, doing exactly as he says without a playful remark or slow, teasing movements. You stand up from your chair, turning around and making sure that your ass is at the centre of the image as you slide your panties down your legs, hearing Bucky's appreciation in the form of another deep groan.

Taking a seat on the chair again, you waste no time before your hand is in between your legs again. You notice Bucky's hand starts to move faster at the sight of you completely naked for him and him alone. “Fuck, I wish you were here with me tonight…” you hear him mutter under his breath.

“What would you do to me?” you ask immediately, eager to hear him explain exactly what it is he'd do to you if you were sitting next him on that couch.

“I'd put my hands all over your gorgeous body...worship you the way you deserve,” he starts, making you moan out loud as you also begin to imagine what it'd be like to be able to feel his touch. “Play with that sweet pussy until she's nice and ready for my cock...fuck, I'd stay up all night with you...make sure you're satisfied.”

The situation is probably getting a little out of hand, noticing how all your sense of professionalism starts to disappear when he talks like that to you. You almost forget he's a client. That he paid for just an hour of your time and that's it. That you're evidently allowed to enjoy yourself while you work, but always remembering it's just a job. You won't be talking like this again because you have other bookings next week and he needs to pay again for this privilege.

But how could you possibly control yourself when this hot guy is moaning for you while he masturbates on camera, claiming he's willing to spend the entire night fucking you? And how is this the same guy who was barely able to talk to you when the call first started? It’s like you didn’t even notice when he went from the shy, never-done-this kind of guy, to an absolute menace who’s able to talk like that.

His words echo in your head, creating a sinful image in your thoughts that encourage you to slide your fingers inside of you, desperately craving your high. “Fuck, James…” you let out, which makes him completely lose it.

“God, I'd have you scream that over and over...make everyone knows how good I'd fuck you.”

“I bet you'd fuck me nice and hard, huh? Just the way I deserve...you'd do exactly as I please, wouldn't you?”

“Yes...yes, anything you want. I'd treat you like a queen.”

You keep moaning, fingers rubbing fast circles on top of your clit again, feeling like you're getting closer to your orgasm. It's clear to you he's almost there too, breathing slightly ragged and brows furrowing just enough in deep pleasure.

It’s the hottest thing ever. You watch as his legs tremble, a deep moan escaping him as ropes of semen spill out of his cock. He looks like the orgasm is painfully satisfying, consuming him entirely as he throws his head back. The sight alone is enough to make you reach your high too, your entire body shuddering with the waves of pleasure that overtake you.

Then, his eyes focus back on the image of you on his laptop, watching you catch your breath as you adjust your position on your chair again.

“Who knew you'd have such a filthy mouth, James,” you comment jokingly, which makes him chuckle.

“Couldn't help it,” he replies with a light shrug, just then realizing the mess he made around his coffee table. “I, uh...shit, I should probably clean up.”

You can't help but giggle. It's a shame it's time to probably have to say goodbye to him. 

“Yeah, I'll probably take a shower before going to bed.”

“Wish I could join you.”

His voice sounds way too soft now, nothing like what it sounded like when he was talking about fucking you all night. “You're cute– incredibly hot, of course, but also very cute.”

He smiles shyly. “Thanks.”

There's a brief pause before you clear your throat. “Well, the hour's up so...we'll have to get going.”

“Oh. Yeah, sure...sure,” Bucky nods, evidently disappointed. “Could I– is it okay if I ask you something?”

He makes you smile again. “Of course.”

“Did you...did you enjoy that? Like, genuinely enjoy that?”

You probably shouldn't answer. It gives you the impression that he's also forgetting this is strictly a one-time thing unless he decides to pay for more. It's a service. You're a camgirl. Not his friend or his girlfriend. Not someone who will be available for him whenever he needs it.

But you couldn't help yourself. “I really did.”

Luckily, he doesn't push any further than that, seemingly pleased with that answer. “Okay. I really enjoyed it too…” he says shortly after, sounding just as awkward as he did at the beginning of the session. “I, uh...hope you have a good night's sleep.”

“You too.”

“And good luck with your future restaurant reviews.”

You giggle, slightly shaking your head. He really is way too cute. “Thank you.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

Then, the image of you on his laptop disappears. He immediately feels alone once again, debating if this idea of subscribing to a camgirl and getting private calls with her was even a good idea in the first place. Perhaps it'll make him feel worse in the end, especially because he didn’t expect to like you so much.

How is he supposed not to grow any sort of attachment to you? Not only are you smoking hot, but also funny and nice to talk to. Is he really this pathetic that he immediately starts to feel a certain way for a random girl he pays to watch on the internet?Feeling frustrated and confused, he decides to clean up the mess he made and get a quick shower before (hopefully) going to sleep– if he manages to get you out of his mind.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

As soon as you wake up that morning, James is all that you can think about. The memory of him orgasming in front of you will probably be engraved in your brain all day. And it wasn't just the sexual aspect of it...he’s genuinely pleasant to talk to. 

Of course you've had clients that you get along with just fine, managing to have a nice conversation before having a bit of fun together. You've had those kinds of interactions with other men and women before. And you have genuinely enjoyed those interactions with those people. But there's just something about him. You feel almost insane for thinking this way, but it's true. 

There's just something about James that you can't quite get over.

But the worst thing you can do is to allow yourself to develop a stupid crush on one of your clients, because that's just a recipe for disaster. You're fully aware he pays for a bit of company and you enjoy receiving the money for providing that sort of companionship to someone else online. That's all it is. This is not an online dating situation. You have other clients and he's probably subscribed to other camgirls. 

You walked inside your kitchen as you debated what to eat for breakfast. You opt for a bowl of cereal because it’ll be a quick meal to have before getting ready for the day ahead, knowing you have a lot to do– from paying a visit to your mom at lunch to heading over to your campus for your afternoon lectures.

As you open the fridge, you realize you're out of milk. Frustrated, you close the fridge and go back to your room to put a pair of shoes on before grabbing your keys for a quick visit to the store that's just around the corner of your street. 

You open the door of your apartment, barely able to catch a glimpse of the tiny white animal running inside your apartment. Evidently confused, you look back inside your place, eyes meeting the ones of a small kitten that casually sits on your couch, letting out a soft meow.

Careful not to spook the cat, you walk towards it, hoping it doesn't try to scratch you in the process. Luckily, the animal seems calm enough, not reacting much when you hold it in your arms to take it out of the apartment.

Before you could even begin to wonder where the cat might’ve come from, you notice the door of your neighbor is wide open. 

“Alpine!” you hear someone yell from inside, sounding quite worried. Judging by the groceries left on the floor, you can only guess that your neighbor was returning from a trip to the store and their cat took that as the perfect opportunity to venture outside the apartment.

The neighbor rushes outside with a worried, yet slightly annoyed look on his face, which makes you think this isn’t the first time this has happened. In all the (approximately) seven months since you moved into this apartment, you've never met this neighbor. You were aware that someone lived there, but that's about it. You didn't know anything about them because they just don't go out that much, apparently.

“Ah, there she is!” he exclaims with obvious relief as soon as his eyes settle on you and the cat, walking towards the two of you. “It's like she enjoys finding opportunities to sneak out.”

You freeze when you realize what is going on. The face, the hair, the voice...this has to be some kind of joke. This really can't be happening. There's no fucking way that this is genuinely happening.

You watched this man come all over his hand last night!

Standing completely, you simply watch as he retrieves the animal from your hands, taking note of how he scratches her little head as soon as he’s holding her.

“Thank you for catching her,” he says shortly after, turning to look at you now.

Still unable to say anything, you stare back at him in complete disbelief. For a moment you fear that he might've recognized you, but soon enough you realize he actually didn't. The bunny mask certainly works to keep your identity hidden. Besides, you're wearing a large hoodie and a pair of leggings, which is an outfit that drastically differs from sexy lingerie. And he's looking at you in bright daylight, not the LED lights you have in your bedroom as the only source of light.

Knowing you're probably making a fool of yourself, you offer him an awkward smile. “No problem,” you say rather hurriedly, immediately making your way towards the elevator.

From the elevator to the store and then from the store to your apartment, you're unable to stop thinking how incredibly ridiculous this situation is. What are the odds that he would be your neighbor? It's not like he lives in the same city, street, or even the same building– he's your fucking neighbor.

Your neighbor is one of your subscribers. Last night you had a private session with your neighbor. You touched yourself in front of your neighbor and you watched him masturbate on camera. All of that going on and it turns out he lives across the hall from you!

After that encounter, you prayed and hoped to never meet him again outside your apartment. Lucky for you, it's been three days since the incident and you haven't seen him.

The idea of him living right there barely leaves your head. The whole thing is insane. It’s so crazy, in fact, that you just have to share the whole story to your group of friends when all of you reunite to have a couple of drinks at your place.

“Alright, alright. Let's address the most important question here,” one of your friends says after you’re done explaining your current dilemma, looking right at you. “Is he hot?”

“That's the problem. He's the hottest guy I've ever seen in my life!”

“Bitch, you better go to his apartment right now to tell him what is going on!” another one of them exclaims between laughter.

“Yeah. I mean, how is it possible that you still haven't fucked this man? Physically, I mean.”

“I'm not gonna go to his apartment and tell him I'm one of the camgirls he's subscribed to! That's so weird,” you immediately refuse that idea entirely. “Not to mention that it's completely unprofessional.”

All of your friends look at you like you just personally insulted all of them.

“Oh, sure. Right. I'm sure he'll be soooo upset to find out you live right across from him.”

None of them could understand how you're missing out on the opportunity to fuck your hot neighbors (who, clearly, would absolutely have sex with you), but they eventually decide to let you be, still silently hoping you’d come to your senses soon enough and just go for it.

Perhaps they don't fully grasp how dangerous it is to get involved with him. If you can't stop thinking about him now, it'll be even worse if you have sex with him. Maybe you would’ve already knocked on his door already if you were completely certain that he’ll be nothing more than a hot neighbor you occasionally hook up with, but there’s a part of you that fears it’ll get out of hand. The mere risk of exposing yourself to even the tiniest of possibilities of developing feelings for someone is completely out of the equation. Nope. You won't allow that to happen.

Your friends left around two in the morning, and even when you didn't plan on making a stream today, you’re so drunk that you decided to do one. You’ve done drunk streams before and they're always super fun.

Deciding to post a quick photo to your page to announce you’ll be streaming in a few minutes, you get the LED lights and your bunny mask ready before starting the livestream, waiting for people to start joining. “Hi everyone,” you greet the ones already logged in. “This is more of a casual type of stream...perhaps a shorter one too. I don't know. I didn’t plan it, to be honest. I'm just drunk and horny,” you ramble, letting out a soft giggle.

'Love the dress' someone commented.

“Oh, you like it?” you ask, standing up before starting to pose for the camera, showing off your floral dress to your viewers, making sure to lift it up just enough to reveal you're not wearing any panties at the moment, removing them before starting the stream. “I might keep it on tonight because I think I look really cute in it...I don't know, what do you guys think?”

Most people in the chat agreed with you, but of course some people wanted you to take it off as well. Then, you see him. You remember James' username perfectly.

'Keep it. You look so beautiful.'

You hate how his compliment makes you feel. Happy, excited, nervous. And it has so much power over you too, because that's all you need to fully decide that you'll keep it on.

The stream continues. You interact a bit more with the chat before disappearing from view to grab one of your sex toys. A vibrating purple dildo.

“I don't really know why I'm so horny today,” you admit casually to the audience, taking a seat. You look straight into the camera, taking the dildo into your mouth as if you were giving someone a blowjob, which almost immediately earns you a few extra donations. “I guess I always get super horny when I'm drunk.”

You take a few extra minutes to use your mouth to play with the head of the dildo, wanting to give the audience a show, your available hand sneaking underneath your dress to touch yourself while you do it.

The dildo starts vibrating in your hand as you press it to your aching clit, leaning back to enjoy the pleasure it provides. You look at yourself in the camera, making sure your pussy is on full display for your viewers.

There's a ton of praise in the chat, which only encourages you to continue, enjoying the attention you receive. You can't help but focus on another message from James. 'You look so hot right now'. You could hear his voice in your head as you read it, which only fuels your desire to keep pleasuring yourself.

After stimulating your clit for a while, you press the dildo against your entrance, starting to fuck yourself with it. You were sloppy with it, desperate to reach your orgasm. And as embarrassing as it is to admit, there’s only one person in your mind while you keep playing with yourself. The dildo slides in and out of you, making you moan and squirm in your seat, and all you can imagine is James on top of you, thrusting in and out of you at the perfect pace to make your eyes roll to the back of your head. You picture his hands on your body and the breathless praise that would come out of his mouth while he fucks you just like he promised he would if he ever got the chance– fuck you like the queen you are.

Needless to say, your orgasm (and the second one that followed right after) were out of this world. All thanks to James. Satisfied enough, you end the livestream to finally go to bed.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

It's been about two weeks since you found out about the hot neighbor, and luckily you guys haven't run into each other again. That has helped a lot to get over the initial shock of knowing he lives right across the hall. That, paired with the minimal communication on your streams, has helped to slowly get him out of your mind.

And that's because Bucky knows better than to behave in full stalker mode with you. He keeps the interactions minimal because he doesn't want to seem like a creep, but deep down he knows he's absolutely doomed.

He's infatuated with you. He gets excited when he notices you're streaming, and it's impossible to watch any other camgirl that aren't you. No one compares to you. No one is as magnetic and beautiful as you. But he knows he's meant to keep his distance, because at the end of the day you're a woman doing her job online and he's just a random loser who pays for your content. That's all it'll ever be.

He can't resist himself, however, when he looks through your page and realizes that there's still a chance to book a private session with you.

As soon as you notice his booking, you're met with the inevitable debate of whether or not you should say something. Sure, you could just stay quiet and keep receiving his attention (and money) completely anonymously, occasionally waving at him in the hallway until he eventually puts two and two together about who you really are.

Is it better to go over to his apartment and formally introduce yourself, or just let him figure it out on his own? 'Hi, James, so this is crazy! But it's me! the camgirl!' or 'Holy fuck wait a minute you're the camgirl! And you never told me!'

Or...moving to another apartment?

As much as you'd like to pack all of your things and get the hell out of this building, you know realistically speaking there's only two options: come clean about your identity or play dumb.

So there you stand, staring at your front door like an idiot for what feels like ages before you eventually make your choice. Fuck it! He'll find out sooner or later because he's your freaking neighbor, and it'll be painfully awkward either way! At least hearing it from you right away is slightly less awkward.

Knocking on his door, you stand right outside his apartment, nervously playing with your fingers as you keep debating if this is even a good idea. Perhaps the only option has always been moving out. And why if he just never figures it out? Is this a bad idea? Should you go back into your apartment and just play dumb?

But then he opens the door. Fuck.

He offers you the type of smile someone offers to a neighbor they barely know. Not the one you give to a girl who watched you masturbate through a camera. “Hi...is there–?”

“I need to talk to you.” The words come out of your mouth without really thinking. “Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt you.”

He shrugs nonchalantly, looking extremely confused. “What is it?”

“Seriously?” Are all men this dumb? It's all you can think about as you stare back at him in disbelief. “Don't you recognize my voice?”

Again, the same confused expression on his face, but this time you can sense some sort of curiosity. Perhaps his brain is starting to have the tiniest of suspicions, or at the very least he's realizing your voice does sound familiar.

Then, you raise your hands to your head, gesturing for him to imagine two ears on top of it. “Bunny ears…”

It’s like he goes through a million emotions in a matter of seconds. Extreme confusion, realization, shock, extreme shock, disbelief, shock again, embarrassment, confusion and shock and embarrassment. He just can’t believe you’re actually standing in front of him. That he saw you a few weeks back and had absolutely no idea it was you.

“Yes, exactly,” is all you say, finding his reaction entirely appropriate because this truly is mind-blowing.

“I– you–” he attempts to speak, completely in shock still. “You live here?”

“Uh, across the hall, yeah.” Noticing he's probably just going to blurt things out that barely make any sense or just stare at you in silence, you decide to take the lead. “I was debating whether or not to say anything after that time we saw each other. I swear I had no idea that we were neighbors before...well, you know.”

Despite how awkward the situation is, you can’t deny you're enjoying the way he blushes when you hint at that night. It's actually a bit unfair that he manages to be this attractive even under such awkward circumstances.

“That's why your face seemed so familiar...I just guessed it was because you live across from me and maybe I just saw you around,” he mutters, still beyond mortified and feeling very much stupid for not figuring it out then.

“I noticed you booked another session so...I don't know. It felt wrong not saying anything and pretending like I don't know you're literally across the hall from me.”

“Oh…” He didn’t even remember the session.

He looks incredibly embarrassed now, which makes you feel guilty. Perhaps you should’ve approached this in a different way? “Listen, I could just give you a refund on that and–”

“Can we talk about that some other time, maybe?”

“Sure, okay. I'm sorry.”

Bucky looks (and feels) extremely uncomfortable, but his expression softens when you say that. “Why? You don’t have to apologize.”

“I don't know, I feel like I do. Maybe I should've said something sooner.”

“No, it's okay,” he quickly brushes it off, not wanting you to feel like you had any sort of responsibility for what he feels towards this information. If he figured it out when Alpine ran from his apartment, he probably would’ve had the same reaction. “You did nothing wrong. It's just the entire situation that is...well, insane.”

“I've genuinely considered moving out to avoid this conversation,” you reply, sharing the sentiment regarding how crazy this whole thing is.

Bucky stays quiet, letting out a soft chuckle. “Really?”

“Yes, really! I feel as embarrassed as you do about this. Trust me.”

“Well, as embarrassing as it is, I really appreciate you telling me. I wouldn't have figured it out on my own, apparently.”

His last comment makes you laugh. “Yeah, I still can't believe you didn't recognize me!”

“The bunny mask.”

Yes, the bunny mask. He says it like it's nothing, but you notice the slight shift in his voice– the mention of the mask immediately makes him think of you wearing it on your streams. In that profile photo he says he likes so much. You can see it in his face. He's thinking about it.

So really, it's his fault that you feel the urge to flirt with him now. “And the fact that you tend to see me with less clothes on, maybe.”

Your comment has the expected effect on him. A grin appears on his face. Seems like the initial shock is wearing down. “Maybe that too.”

You smile back at him, both of you standing in complete silence as you just look back at each other. And oh, you look at him. His gorgeous blue eyes, the way his hair falls perfectly around his face, his lips, that fucking black t-shirt that's just way too tight on him...

Despite the intense urge you have of kissing him and ripping his clothes off, you try to keep it together and avoid making any stupid decision that you might regret in the future. It doesn't help that he's also looking at you like he wants to slam you against the wall and make out with you, but you're a strong woman that knows better than to act impulsively.

So, you decide to break the silence to spare both of you from the unbearably intense sexual tension that surrounds you.

“Well, I won't take more of your time. Have a good night.”

“Goodnight.”

You notice he doesn't close his door until you're closing yours.

Already inside your apartment, you let out all the air you've been holding, feeling your entire being practically burning. You’ve never felt that kind of tension with anyone in your life before. The type of attraction that just keeps pulling you in and it’s almost impossible to fight against. 

It's really not fair that your neighbor is so fucking hot and you have to hold back from making a move. Well, it's not like you have to hold back...

Maybe just one time?

As you're debating whether or not is a good idea to fuck your neighbor, you hear a knock on your door.

It's him. You know it's him even before you open the door and see him standing there, looking like he's having a similar debate in his head. Although he seems to have made a decision already, because otherwise he wouldn't be at your door right now.

Fuck it, just one time.

You pull him inside your apartment and he immediately understands what it means because he hurriedly closes the door behind him before cornering you to the wall, trapping you between the cold surface and his body.

He kisses you with such hunger that it makes your head spin. It's intense, messy, and needy. Strong hands roaming all over your body like he can't wait to explore all of you. His tongue traces yours, intending to swallow every little sound that comes out of your mouth.

The low grunt that escapes him when you pull his hair has you moaning in response because, again, it's so not fair that he's so incredibly hot! You feel one of his hands trailing hurriedly down your side, cold metal fingers digging in the skin of your thigh as he urges one of your legs up, securing it to his waist with an iron grip.

The two of you continue to make out like life practically depends on it, trying to satiate the mutual hunger that's been there ever since that day he decided to pay for that private chat with you. Looking back, best fucking decision he has ever made.

He keeps grinding his hips forward, eager for whatever fiction he can get while he keeps you trapped against the wall. His lips leave yours to trace sloppy kisses from your jaw to your collarbone, encouraged by the way your body moves against his own whenever he presses his hips to yours.

“You have no idea…” he starts in between kisses, “how bad I've been wanting to touch you…” You reply with a soft moan when you feel his teeth grazing your skin. “How much I wanted to feel you…”

“Me too…” you admit in a whisper. A confession that seems to surprise him enough to pull back to look at you.

Bucky notices your hair is a bit messy from the heavy makeout, fixing a few strands of it around your face with his available hand. "Did you?" he asks, voice slightly softer, but it sharply contrasts with the way he places his hand at the side of your neck, thumb tracing a delicate line down your throat.

You nod at his question, looking back into his eyes. You can't help but feel incredibly vulnerable under his analyzing gaze. It's way too intimate, in a way that you can't quite handle.

So, in an effort to distract yourself, your fingers find the end of his shirt, lifting it up just enough for him to understand what you want. The second he's throwing his shirt to the floor, you just couldn't believe the sight before you. Not like that shirt left much to the imagination, but actually seeing his massive arms and defined abs in all its glory is certainly...a sight you'll remember for sure.

He's pressing his body to yours again, lifting your chin up to kiss you. This time is slower, more sensual, but still incredibly intense. It's starting to feel a little too intimate for you again, bringing that uncomfortable but pleasant sensation back, but this time you allow yourself to experience it. No matter how much your rational side is ringing alarm bells in your head, urging you to put a stop to this because you know this guy will be your downfall. You really shouldn’t be doing this.

But how could you possibly resist him? When he’s so hot and cute and treats you like he doesn’t need anything else in this world but being close to you. When he kisses you like he’s been desperate for a taste of you and touches your body like he wants to memorize all of it. It’s just not fair.

After standing by the front door of your apartment for what felt like forever, you finally create some distance between the two of you to grab his hand, guiding him to your bedroom. Of course he didn't argue one bit, immediately following after you.

In there, he can't help but focus on your desk, the familiar pink chair in which he usually sees you sitting for the streams. It was a bit weird to finally be standing in that very same room. But he doesn't have much time to think about that, because you're making him sit down on your bed, all his attention fully back on you now.

You waste no time at all, removing the hoodie you're wearing, exposing more of your body to his hungry gaze. For a second he thought he might be dreaming. The very same woman that's been on his mind (and screen) for months is currently standing in front of him, her gorgeous tits he adores so much on full display for him.

As you move closer to the bed, his hands are immediately on you, traveling from your hips to your sides before moving them to your back, sliding down your spine before repeating the pattern. He simply admires you for now, taking in the sight of you half naked in front of him.

“You're so beautiful,” he comments, looking up at you as he speaks, like you’re someone worthy of worshipping.

And then, he pulls you into his lap in a swift and demanding move, hands immediately finding their way to your chest. You barely have time to enjoy the way his fingers feel as he plays with your breasts before he's using his mouth too.

A moan escapes you, watching as he uses his mouth and hands to provide some much needed attention to your body. It's like he's completely hypnotized. His tongue swirls around one of your nipples before sucking hard around it– hard enough, until you're letting out a high-pitched moan that leaves him satisfied, releasing it to then switch to the other.

Your back arches forward, reacting positively to every touch of his fingers, every flick of his tongue, and every moan that crashes against your sensitive skin. That, matched with the sight of him looking like he's in absolute bliss for the privilege of playing with your breasts... it's practically impossible to handle.

Before you know it, he's standing up from your bed with you in his arms, immediately turning around to place you on top of the mattress, head lying comfortably on your pillows before he quickly resumes his exploration of your body.

He places a few kisses on your collarbone, trailing his mouth down to your breasts. He gently nibs on your skin, making you moan out loud before he continues down your stomach.

A playful smirk appears on his face when he notices the way your hips grind up when he gets closer to the edge of your shorts, immediately looking up at you. “What?” he asks, and the way his voice sounds right now might genuinely be enough to make you combust in your spot. “Growing impatient?”

“Shut up,” you reply, which makes him laugh. It's not like you could do much to defend yourself when you're laying on your bed with him practically between your legs now, and you just keep praying that he keeps going.

Luckily, he doesn't keep you waiting. His hands meet the edge of your shorts, pulling them down your legs along with your underwear. You just can’t ignore the satisfaction of finally being able to see him again, staring at you just like he did through the camera. This time, however, you can clearly see the way his eyes travel down your body, silently admiring what lies before him.

“You like what you see?” you ask him in an attempt to try to feel like you have some control over the situation.

Bucky grins. “A lot,” is all he says, comfortably resting between your legs.

Your entire body reacts to him when he presses his lips against your inner thigh, keeping his eyes on you as he trails upwards, using his hands to spread your legs and keep them that way for him.

A shuddering moan escapes you when you finally feel his tongue on you, exploring your folds with slow, teasing moves, almost as if he’s testing the way you react to him at first. Your eyes meet his, and he has the audacity to offer you a smile while his tongue keeps pleasuring you.

Then, he focuses entirely on your clit, flicking his tongue in a way that has you moaning and squirming underneath him while keeping a strong grip on his hair, gathering all loose strands in your hands to prevent them from getting in the way of what he’s doing. 

As soon as you start rocking your hips against his tongue, he places his metal arm over your pelvis while looking up at you, silently telling you to stay still. All you can do is whimper in reply, which makes him pull away from you. “Don’t be like that, doll,” he practically warns you.

You hate the amount of control he seems to have over you all of a sudden. “Sorry…” you mutter, using your hands on his hair to urge his face closer to you again. “Want you to keep going…”

He laughs at that, choosing to show you some sort of mercy by using his hand instead, rubbing gentle circles over your clit. “Remember what you told me about manners?”

Fucking asshole. That’s all you can think about at that moment as you softly let out another whine. “Please, keep going…please…”

“Now, that’s much better,” he replies with a sly grin, repeating exactly what you said to him that time, even using the same emphasis and pauses you used.

Immediately after that, his mouth is on you again and this time he gives you absolutely no indication of stopping. The way he begins to eat you out is otherworldly– messy, loud, hungry…it’s like he has never tasted anything this good before.

His arm presses slightly harder on your pelvis to make sure you stay still while using his available hand to finger you, two of his fingers sliding inside you. His pace is relentless at this point, sucking hard on your clit while his fingers keep moving in and out, curling them at the perfect angle to almost make you scream in pleasure.

He only slows down when he feels your legs trembling, involuntarily closing as much as they can with him still between them, walls clenching around his fingers, and the most heavenly sounds coming out of you.

Fully aware of your orgasm, he moves back to simply observe how you experience the peak of pleasure he was able to provide, his fingers barely even moving anymore to give you enough space to recover– or at least, recover enough for him to continue.

As soon as he realizes you’re doing a little better, his mouth and fingers resume the same pace he was using before you came, apparently not having nearly enough of you yet. The fact that he seems so obsessed with your pussy doesn’t help your situation at all, making you feel almost dizzy at the idea of him being so hypnotized by your body. It makes you feel extremely good, almost worshipped in a way. And it’s exactly what he promised if he ever got the chance to have you all to himself: to treat you like a queen.

He does his best to help you reach your second orgasm as soon as possible, like being between your legs has been his entire life’s purpose. Like he’s been patiently waiting for this opportunity and now that he finally has it, there’s no way he’s letting it go to waste. You’re leaving an absolute mess on his face and hand, but he just doesn’t seem to care– if anything, it looks like he wants to be as messy as possible.

It doesn’t take much for you to come again, leaning back against your mattress as waves of pleasure strike you. “Fuck…” you mutter, barely able to form any coherent thoughts in your brain other than how good he’s making you feel.

You keep your eyes closed for a bit, as if that could somehow make you regain full control over your body faster, appreciating the time he gives you to recover. When you finally open them and look down between your legs, you see Bucky already looking at you, leaving quick kisses along your inner thighs. You can’t help but notice how his mouth and chin are practically glistening with your arousal, his hair a complete mess from your hands desperately holding onto it as if to ground yourself.

And then, just when you thought you could get an actual chance at recovery, his fingers are entering you again.

“Oh my god…” you whisper, leaning your head against the pillows because even when you’re already way too stimulated, you can’t get enough of him pleasuring you.

“One more, baby. One more…” he replies, almost as if trying to convince you to just let go and enjoy it. “Just give me one more…”

You really don’t need much convincing, letting him have you all to his mercy once again. He switches his position now though, sneaking an arm underneath each of your legs to keep them spread out for him. 

Showing absolutely no sympathy for your current state, his mouth begins to devour you. Like this is the last time he’ll ever be able to touch you. Like the fucking world is ending. You’re not sure you’ve ever been with someone who has been this desperate to eat you out.

Feeling and hearing your third orgasm is like a reward for him, groaning against your clit when you come all over his face once again. He enjoys the way your entire body trembles with each gentle stroke of his tongue, savoring you for a little longer before finally moving back, letting out a soft chuckle when you give him a look. “What?” he asks playfully, moving to be fully on top of you again.

“I hate you so much,” you reply, knowing he’s enjoying himself a little too much.

“Do you?” he asks, inching his face closer to you. All you can do at that point is nod. “Didn’t look like it.”

You do genuinely hate him. You hate him because he presents himself as this shy and awkward guy that apparently has no idea how insufferably hot he is, yet proceeds to eat pussy like he’s a trained professional. That duality of him being incredibly sweet but an absolute menace when sex is involved is something your brain just can’t compute. Is he even real? Is it possible that a guy like him genuinely exists?

His kiss makes you snap out of it, moaning softly against his mouth when you taste yourself on his tongue. He keeps a firm grip on your hips while your fingers delicately trace up and down his firm back.

Eventually, as the two of you keep making out, your hands move to the front of his pants, realizing he’s trying to kick his boots off while you try to get rid of more of his clothes.

“Shit,” he mutters against your lips. “Hold on,” he says shortly after, standing up from the bed to be able to take his shoes off.

You take that as the perfect opportunity to stand up as well, noticing the way Bucky watches you curiously. “What?” you ask him nonchalantly, fully aware that he probably knows what your intentions are already.

“Nothing…” he replies simply, still watching your movements very carefully.

“You look a little nervous,” you point out, still like it’s a casual conversation. Like you’re not literally on your knees in front of him, looking up with the most sinful eyes as you work on getting rid of his belt and black jeans.

He lets out a quick chuckle, playfully rolling his eyes at your attempts of regaining control over the situation. “Not nervous. Excited, maybe.”

“Oh, I’m sure you are.” 

Bucky doesn’t reply, simply looking down at you with darkened eyes, gently caressing your cheek with the back of his hand as you remove his pants and boxers.

Your eyes immediately focus on his cock– hard, big and all yours to enjoy. The sound that leaves his mouth when you wrap your hand around him is sinful, encouraging you to immediately start pleasuring him.

“Is this what you kept picturing when you were jerking off to my streams?”

Yes, absolutely. Imagining it was your hand the one masturbating him never failed to make him come. But he should've known it would feel a million times better than he imagined. Absolutely no fantasy can compare to this…to the sight of you on your knees, eager to play with his cock for as long as you can.

“Something like that…” he replies, but before he can elaborate further you put him inside your mouth, making him forget whatever it is that he was trying to say.

He throws his head back, enjoying the sensation of your lips around his cock, bobbing your head in a steady rhythm. One of your hands holds him at the base, the other massaging his balls to increase his pleasure.

“Fuck, baby, your mouth feels so good…” he praises you in a low voice, making you determined to do whatever you can to earn more of that.

Bracing yourself, you take as much of him as you could inside your mouth until he's hitting the back of your throat, which inevitably makes you gag. The sound of you choking around his cock has got to be the hottest thing he has heard in his entire life, gathering your hair in a very messy ponytail as he urges you to put him deep inside your mouth again.

You let him guide you, noticing how much he enjoys it when you take him all the way in, struggling to hold back your gag reflex. “God, I can't get enough of you,” he groans, giving you some space to breathe before he's shoving his cock back inside your mouth. “Looking so perfect with my dick down your throat…it feels so good…like that pretty little mouth was made just for me, huh?”

You can't do anything but moan around him, placing your hands behind your back. The little gesture makes him grin approvingly. “You’ll be the death of me, doll.”

Despite the slightest of soreness on your jaw and at the back of your throat, you keep trying to do your absolute best to fit as much of him without your reflexes betraying you, not caring about any sort of discomfort. Being used by him for his own satisfaction is enough to make you forget about all of it. His praise for letting him use you in this way is more than enough.

Finally, he moves back from you, helping you back on your feet before grabbing your chin to kiss you. It's brief, but it still manages to make you feel dizzy. Fuck, what has he done to you?

Bucky pulls back, only to leave lazy kisses all over your neck. “You're so perfect…” he whispers, his hands exploring your skin like you might disappear at any second. “Tell me what you want, doll– say it, and it's all yours.”

Leaning your head slightly to the side, you allow his lips to explore your skin as he pleases, holding you close to his body. “Want you to fuck me…exactly the way you promised…”

You didn’t need to say anything else. It’s like he was just waiting for you to say anything that would give him any sort of confirmation that you want this as much as he does. As if he needs any more confirmation of your insane attraction to him.

Then, he seems to remember something, giving you an apologetic smile but still holding you close to him. “I, uh…I don’t have a condom.”

You pause for a second before replying. “I’m on the pill, if that works for you.”

“It works for me if it works for you.”

The reply brings a smile to your face, immediately wrapping your arms around his neck to bring him closer again. “It works for me,” you mutter, right before crashing your lips against his.

Bucky guides you back to your bed and you immediately lay on top of your mattress again, him on top of you at all times while continuing to kiss you. There’s something absolutely addictive with the way he’s treating you- so caring and gentle yet so…deliciously possessive and rough. Again, is that duality of him that might make you lose all your sanity (if you haven’t lost it already).

You take the lead now, reaching between your bodies to guide him where you need him the most. He lets a soft moan against your lips when he feels the tip of his cock against your entrance, eager to dive deeper and deeper into you.

Inch by inch, he moves slowly until he’s finally fully inside you. “Oh my– fuck, you feel amazing…” he mutters, hiding his face against your neck, taking in your scent as he allows himself a movement to enjoy how it feels to be this deep inside, before finally starting to move.

His hips move slowly at first before his rhythm increases in speed, still managing to make every roll of his hips incredibly intentional. His metallic arm holds his weight above you while his other hand rests at your waist.

The more speed he takes with his thrusts, the louder your moans become, eyes practically rolling to the back of your head as he repeatedly hits that sensitive spot inside of you. Your entire body feels on fire, hands moving to his back now, nails digging into his skin.

“Is this what you wanted?” he asks, refusing to slow down his pace as he pounds into you with a force that proves how desperate he is to finally be able to have you like this after months of only watching you through a screen, but also with a commitment that shows he’s determined to satisfy you as much as he can.

“Yes…” you whisper barely, too overwhelmed to say more than that. 

“What was that?” he asks yet again. You could picture the playful smirk on his face just by the sound of his voice. “Look at me.”

Doing as told, you open your eyes to see him. Having him on top of you, looking like there’s nothing he enjoys more in this world than fucking you, is probably the hottest thing you’ll ever see in your life. 

“Yes…love it– don’t stop, please…don’t stop,” you reply, this time making eye contact with him. You can see the effect your words have on him, tightening the grip on your waist as a moan slips out of his mouth.

“I won’t stop,” he replies, maintaining eye contact at all times. “Not until I make you scream for me.” His comment makes you practically whimper, which drives him insane. “You’re so fucking sexy…”

He keeps his pace, intending to make you reach your fourth orgasm of the night. You watch him, looking so determined, a few strands of hair falling loosely over his face but he doesn’t seem to care. He goes from moaning, to whispering how good you feel around him, then back to moaning. Yes, you’re an absolute wreck right now, but he’s not doing any better either.

The way he’s fucking you eventually becomes too much for your body to handle, and he immediately starts to read upon the signs. How your moans pitch, the way your nails scratch his back with more desperation. How your walls keep tightening around him and your legs are practically wrapped around his body.

It's like the absolute reward for him. He inches down to kiss you, moaning into each other's mouths as he keeps pounding into you, skin slapping against yours more vigorously the closer he is to come.

“Please.” He’s the one begging you now, looking deep into your eyes as he leans back just enough to do so. “Let me feel it, baby…let me feel you, please.”

That's as much encouragement as you need, legs trembling with the intensity of your high. You let out your loudest moan yet, eyes rolling back again and your hands tightly gripping his shoulders in an attempt to ground yourself.

The visual of it all, mixed with how incredibly tight you feel, makes Bucky orgasm shortly after. His metallic fingers dig into your thigh, giving you his last few thrusts as he's practically shuddering. You whine in response, gladly accepting the load he’s giving you.

Exhausted, both of you try to regain control of your breathing, starting to become more aware of the layer of sweat that covers your body– just further proof that he just fucked the absolute shit out of you.

He stays inside you for a bit, both of you recovering still. Despite staying on top of you, he makes sure not to crush you with his weight. He leaves a trail of short kisses across your collarbone while you gently play with his hair, even when you know you probably shouldn’t do that.

“You’re perfect…” he mutters against your skin, which brings a genuine smile to your face.

“You’re not too bad yourself,” you offer as a joke. 

He looks up at you, unable to hold back a quick laugh. “Is that all I get?”

“What, four orgasms weren't enough?”

“Not nearly enough,” he immediately replies. “I plan on earning a lot more of those in the future.”

“Is that so?” you continue the little banter despite feeling slightly conflicted by his statement. A part of you would want to see him again because holy shit is he good in bed, but another part of you fears making this a recurring thing. 

Perhaps that's just a recipe for disaster. With him living right across the hall it's pretty easy to keep hooking up, but what if the lines start to get blurred and this starts to drift into something else? What if he gets confused and starts catching feelings for you?

Or worse. What if you start catching feelings? The fact that you worry about continuing to have sex with him because it could turn into a problem is more than enough hint that perhaps it could happen if you get a little too carried away.

But you can't bring yourself to be rational about it or even try to imagine any sort of scenario where you don't end up tangled in bed with him again when he looks back at you with those captivating eyes of his.

He might actually be the death of you.

“It'll be my personal mission to earn as much as possible next time,” he replies, leaning in to give you a short kiss on the lips. Like he's already used to that. 

You don't say anything about that, choosing to stay quiet for now. He doesn't seem to notice your inner conflict, simply offering you a smile before deciding to stand up, carefully moving out of you before hurriedly looking around, disappearing inside your bathroom.

Just seconds later, he comes back with the entire roll of toilet paper, not sure if he should offer it to you or not. “Want me to help you?”

You appreciate it, but grab the toilet paper for yourself. “I got it, thank you.”

He makes sure to clean after himself as well, discarding all the used toilet paper before leaving the bathroom at your disposal.

When you're back in the bedroom, you notice he's dressing again, frantically looking for something. With his back turned to you, you silently take note of the scratching marks you left on his skin with your nails. “Your shirt is in the hallway,” you point out, noticing it’s the only item of clothing missing from his body.

“Right,” he says, suddenly remembering it. 

There's an awkward silence that follows. You're not sure if he's expecting you to say something else (perhaps invite him to stay for a little longer?), but the alarms in your head are way too loud now to avoid them. This is extremely dangerous. 

Perhaps having sex with him was a terrible idea.

So you just offer him a smile as if that could ease the tension. He smiles back, but you can see the disappointment in his eyes. It's evident he was expecting something else that you're not quite sure if you could give him.

The two of you exit your bedroom, him immediately going to pick up his shirt before putting it on, practically standing at the entrance of your apartment already.

“So…I guess I’ll see you,” he says, sounding very unsure about that statement.

“Of course,” you reply, sounding even more unsure. “We're neighbors after all.”

The tension keeps getting worse and worse, but lucky for you he has already opened the front door of your apartment. You walk towards him, intending for your last interaction to be a quick goodbye and absolutely nothing else. Just a quick goodbye and that's it.

But of course that wasn't going to happen. You knew it wouldn't be quick from the moment he stays right in front of you, blue eyes meeting your own as if trying to figure out what exactly goes through your head in that very moment. You look back at him in silence, finding yourself unable to just shut your door and move on from what happened tonight.

You see his inner conflict before something seems to make him snap out of it, deciding to test his luck by stepping close to you again. He grabs your chin between his fingers, capturing your lips in a kiss that feels like a goodbye and a ‘please let me see you again’ at the very same time.

It's impossible not to kiss him back, especially when there's a big part of you that needs this to happen again. To feel him so close. To discover more of him through his body language alone…and, who knows, perhaps getting more time to figure out what this attraction really means.

He pulls away from you looking a lot more optimistic. “Goodnight,” he offers with a genuine smile.

“Goodnight, James.”

You hear his little chuckle as he walks to his door. “Bucky.”

“What?”

“No one really calls me James,” he explains further, using his keys to open the door. When he does, he barely even opens it, perhaps fearing his cat would try to escape again. “It's just Bucky.”

“Oh…well, goodnight, just Bucky,” you reply with a soft grin on your face, right before finally closing the door. As soon as you do, you stand there in complete silence, replaying what recently happened in your head. From the moment he had you pinned against the wall to the way you two hurriedly made it to your bedroom. How his hands felt on your body, the things he said…

You had to hop in the shower to try to clear your mind. And perhaps to try and get rid of that growing need to have him with you again.

Next morning is pretty uneventful. You wake up, get dressed and tidy up your bedroom. The thought of Bucky is very much present at the back of your mind, half-regretting the decision you made last night. And yet…a part of you feels almost excited about this mixed feeling growing within you because it’s been a very long time since you’ve felt anything remotely similar. 

No one has been able to haunt your thoughts like him. No one has made you feel so scared about the depth of your feelings. And definitely no one has ever made you feel all that so fast. Even when you try to trick yourself into thinking otherwise, you knew there was chemistry between the two of you ever since the first time you spoke to him. You’ve been feeling like this since that night, and perhaps it’s pointless to pretend you can run away from it just by ignoring it or downplaying it.

There’s something about him that just keeps pulling you in no matter how hard you try to fight it.

The doorbell interrupts your train of thoughts, and you already know who it is before you open it. You immediately realize the amount of joy it brings you to see Bucky standing in the hallway. “Hi,” you say casually, trying very hard to ignore the reaction your entire being has to his presence.

“Good morning,” he offers with a shy smile, scratching the back of his neck as he looks away from you. “I…uh, just came here to…” he tries, failing terribly at expressing exactly why he’s standing in front of you right now. “Have you had any breakfast yet?”

You can only smile wider at that. “No, I haven’t.”

“Oh…cool. I mean, that’s why I’m here actually!” he continues, starting to feel a little more confident about his words. “I found this new café that opened a few weeks ago, about two blocks from here…I was wondering if you had already made your review on it.”

He really is too cute for your own good. Despite all the doubts and fears your own brain creates when it comes to opening up to the possibility of exploring whatever this is, with the (high) risk of catching feelings, you can’t deny how good you feel around him. At ease, comfortable, cherished in a weird way. 

The alarms go completely silent when he’s smiling at you like that, right after asking if you’d want to have breakfast with him by remembering a silly thing you told him the first time the two of you talked.

“Honestly, no. I haven’t checked that place yet,” you reply before a quick silence follows, failing to keep a short, nervous giggle in. “Is it good?”

“I haven’t been there either, actually. I just saw it was there a few days ago. Perhaps we should go check it out.”

You look back into his eyes, knowing he’s silently hoping that you’d accept his invitation. It’s obvious what would come out of this. You know it and he knows it. There’ll be breakfast together, and then perhaps lunch or dinner, or just any excuse to spend time together. He’ll be back in your bed or perhaps you’ll go to his apartment next time. 

It’s painfully obvious you’ll most likely end up falling for this guy. 

There’s just no escape for you. Cute, handsome, attentive and good in bed? It’s like anything you’d ever want in a guy and so much more. If he keeps this up for long enough, you’ll be ruined. Unless he does a complete 180° of his personality, reveals a secret wife you had no idea about, turns out to be a serial killer or something that would make you wonder if he really is as perfect as he’s presenting himself to be right now…you will fall for him.

As for Bucky, he’s already smitten by you. If you told him to jump out of his window right now he’d probably do it without hesitation just because you told him to and he wants to get your approval. All he wants right now is to have the chance to get to know you, and for you to also know him. He couldn’t possibly be more into the idea of the two of you together.

So, really, the only thing holding you back from venturing into the dangerous waters of dating is yourself…and there’s barely any dangers yet when the guy waiting for you at the edge of the precipes is quite frankly your dream guy.

Fuck it.

“Sounds good,” you reply, excitement already growing within you in anticipation of what’s to come this morning. “Let me grab my bag and I’ll be right back.”

He waits by the door, still thinking to himself how exactly he managed to land a date with you. That website did more for him than he would’ve ever expected. 

As you return to him, he watches as you step out into the corridor before closing the door or your apartment. Before you even have time to come up with something to say, he places his hands at each side of your face, hurriedly pulling you into him for a kiss. It’s like he was desperate for it. Like he hasn’t had the chance to kiss you in years.

Pulling away, the first thing you notice is the soft grin on his face. “Couldn’t help it,” he mutters, right before stepping aside, gently placing a hand on your lower back to guide you to the elevator. 

Oh, you’re so screwed.

[aihoshiino]

That Ai and Miyako post made me remember how back when chp 154 drop, some people were claiming that hikaai devalued Ai’s bond with her kids. Like????? Insane line of thinking.

I'm actually sort of in two minds. I defo don't agree that Ai's relationship with Hikaru devalues the one she has with the twins because. well, they're very different relationships above and beyond anything else. But I do think that this sounds like maybe a poor articulation of a critique that I do otherwise agree with - that the specific way Ai talks about her feelings for Kamiki in 154 is inconsistent with the Ai of volume 1 and, if taken at face value, does weaken what is otherwise an extremely efficient self-contained arc in relation to her feelings about the twins and how that guides her to her cathartic confession of love with her final words.

Akasaka falls into this bad habit in the latter half of OnK of like… I guess the most concise way to sum it up would be flanderization but of a relationship dynamic as opposed to a single character (tho I guess you could argue it's flanderization of both characters in relation to their dynamic, but that's picking nits). I've talked about this before in relation to Gorou and Sarina but tbh you can kind of see it all over late stage OnK when you know to start looking for it - where Aka tries to sell the emotional depth of a relationship by massively roiding up the intensity of it to near soap opera levels and rather than making it more interesting, it just ends up flattening out what already WAS interesting because the nuance gets lost in all the noise. GRSR are the worst victims of this mostly because the series relies SO heavily on getting you invested in that relationship that a lot of its beats flop all the harder if you aren't but HikaAi get some of it too.

Some of this comes down to the fact that we just don't really know a ton about how the HikaAi relationship really played out. I've talked about this in more detail before but the long and the short of it is that the 154 DVD is basically the one and only time we get Ai's actual perspective on the relationship and a lot of the stuff she says here is just, like… weirdly overly effusive in ways that don't one hundred percent line up with how she expresses herself in volume 1. And to an extent I give Akasaka a pass on that because he obvs didn't have the exact details of the HikaAi dynamic in mind when writing volume 1. But this does really feel like him falling into that trap of roiding up an emotional beat to the point where the nuance is lost. The DVDs are already such an awkward plot point bc they're so transparently utilitarian and there's never really a good in-story justification for Ai choosing to make them, but it especially doesn't help that the way she talks on the DVD is so obviously written to be the most hurtful and impactful thing possible to Hikaru.

And I think for the most part it does broadly work - the main issue is that depending on how you read some of what she says, it sort of retroactively centers Hikaru in her decisionmaking regarding the twins in a way that I think does kind of cheapen her immediate connection to the twins and her decision to selfishly pursue her own happiness if you take it at face value. It's not necessarily impossible to thread the emotional logic if you make the attempt but I dislike that I have to in the first place and I wish we'd gotten more insight into what caused the shift in her mindset between when the DVDs were made and when she called Hikaru.

The actual real problem is like. Literally this one part:

It would be one thing if this was being voiced as a genuine question that Ai was struggling with but her big happy smile and the way she immediately undermines it a moment later makes it clear this is a rhetorical question and that she is essentially saying without directly saying that she did love Kamiki and she knows it.

And like... that makes no sense, right??

Ai being able to so confidently and assuredly say that her "I can't love you" to Hikaru was a lie speaks to a level of understanding and security in her feelings that does not at all line up with the Ai of volume 1. The whole point of her conflict there - hell, of Ai's arc is general - is that Ai has been so starved of genuine human connection that she doesn't even recognise feelings of love in herself even as she experiences them. Her emotional palette has been so forcibly muted that she's effectively gone colourblind.

That's why she so scared of expressing her love to Aqua and Ruby - she literally has no idea what it feels like because she has no frame of reference. She assumes that it would be a lie if she said it specifically because she's never been able to speak a truthful "I love you" before.

So it's not that Ai having loved Hikaru undermines her love for the twins or anything - it's that Ai being so certain and at ease with the fact that she did, at this point in time. I do think that ultimately undermines vol1's conclusion for her purely because it's inconsistent and there's no attempt in the story to sew these inconsistencies up. Like I said, it feels like a symptom of Akasaka wanting to produce the maximally emotionally effective beat and either not realising or not caring that it didn't make sense for the arc he was writing.

To be clear, I do still love 154! It's still one of my favourite chapters in the series and I think it's overall very effective and definitely a better conclusion to the revenge & Hikaru as the antagonist than wtfever Aka decided to do with 160 onwards. It just has its issues like basically everything else in this manga past a point.

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

just wondering, do you know about the cross-collar rule in asian attire? (if not nbd, just thought you might have some interesting thoughts on it in regards to the first ninja)

YES!!! I do actually!!! ;DD Tho admittedly I only discovered it a few years ago and while I 100% incorporated it into my First Ninja headcanons, I didn't have a chance to share it, I guess, haha. ;D

For those curious about the cross-collar rule: Japanese kimono is traditionally worn left side wrapped over right, unless the wearer is deceased.

Tho in RC9GN character sheets designs - ALL kimono wearing characters with the right side wrapped over left.

While I have no idea if this was an animation error due to negligence of research, or a deliberate choice with or without that clothing rule in mind (considering they travel to past and technically all people they saw are dead in the future lol), but you sure as hell can believe me that my mind run absolutely feral with that tidbit.

In some of my posts I mentioned my hcs about how First Ninja is incredibly loyal to his Clan and the siblings he lost, about how much survival guilt he must have suffered, and how much effort and energy he puts into making sure that the Ninja - the culmination of all their efforts - must survive and live on, all in order to keep the Sorcerer contained and their newfound home (and the world) safe and secure. To the point that he would immerse himself completely into his role of the protector and erase any other identity that he had left - an incredibly utterly noble and stupidly horrifying gesture of self-sacrifice for the continuous survival of his clan even at the price of his civilian life.

I trust you can see where the cross-collar rule comes into play with this. ;)

Because in First Ninja's mind - he is a dead man walking. Whatever was left of his semi-normal life with his siblings had been slipping away from him with every loss, until there was nothing left but the duty his clan had taken on. Whatever he was before that, whatever he could have been - has been dead for a long time. And contrary to harsh wording I use, I do not really see First regard it as a great loss - it is still a loss, but here comes a rule of 'the sacrifice of one for the good of many' (something this Clan will surely understand) - if anything it would seem like a logical progression for all the events of his life.

There is a reason I built my headcanons around First Ninja as the youngest of the Clan: if your whole life revolved around an important duty, it would not seem like the great sacrifice for you to devote your entire life to it to that kind of point considering all the circumstances. I mean from an outside perspective it is pretty horrible, but when you literally grew up in the situation? Its a different matter.

But the rule also can be interpreted in a more (?) uplifting manner because, if you took notice - his Ninja suit is also wrapped right over left, and in this case I chose to interpret it as not sign of death but rather continuity, an immortality of sorts if you will - because even if what was left of that young Norisu lord is dead - the Ninja will live on through inheritance, and no matter how much time will pass, how many inheritors will come and go - Ninja itself will survive. And isnt that an immortality in itself?

Admittedly while I have a great deal of thoughts about this, I'm not good at sharing my headcanons (even now I reread what I wrote and wonder if its even coherent haha...), and so far I only managed to allude to the cross-collar rule in one of my MIS posts:

Where First Ninja is still a mortal but who wears his clothes like a dead man, and Chase Young is an immortal who would not even think of dying, lol.

But trust me, while Im struggling to express all of that - every time I draw First, that rule and all the angsty implications of it are constantly on my mind. ;)

[the-dragon-girl-27]

Remember those other 3 times I turned sekai characters into dinos (L/N MMJ VBS) I'm back with more of that crap i know Wanshow fans just looove their AUs so maybe this will appeal to a whole 3 people instead of 2 people this time

explanation for my picks below the cut

Tsukasa is a Styracosaurus because I made Saki a Stellosaurus which is another ceratopsian and also its frill is like vaguely star shaped kinda sorta not really

I don't have much to say about him so can i just mention how awful that Stellasaurus drawing is.

Yeah only recently did i start figuring out how the fuck to draw decent ceratopsians I am so sorry (the struggle is real i almost accidentally gave tsukasa 2 left feet here i swear i know what i'm doing)

I should redo that Saki at some point, girl deserves so much better than that wonkey crap. speaking of ceratopsians i opted out of giving him protofeathers unlike Saki idk they just didn't look right on him you can kinda go either way with most ceratopsians so i just do it when the vibe fits and don't when the vibe doesn't fit

Rui is a Troodon because Troodons are often associated with intelligence because they have the biggest brain to skull ratio of any dino, there's kinda no real way to know how intelligent dinos were but troodon just has the reputation of the smart dinosaur and people often depict them using tools like how crows do and that's like kinda like how rui does robot stuff, he also just fits the raptor shape sorta i feel like raptors have that sorta look to them that is like a similar vibe to the one Rui has, even tho Rui is the tallest character in sekai I feel like he's a mid sized dinosaur, does that make sense? no, but it does to me and i make the rules he's also 100% a feathered dino so it fits

Speaking of Troodon all you 2 paleo nerds reading this are getting war flashbacks from the name Troodon because Troodon itself has a interesting history of being a "wastebasket taxon" which is nerd talk for "scientists just threw a bunch of vaguely similar animals into this one category and didn't consider that maybe this was like 5 different animals and what would be the long term consequences of doing that" yes this is a thing that has happened enough times that there is a word for it

that shit still as of now isn't sorted out I don't think, I at least based my Troodon off the big one from Alaska that literally does not have a fucking name and is just like "the Alaska Troodon". I feel like the size fits and imma be real its the Troodon you see everywhere in media these days because its big and cool and it lived with Pachyrhinosaurus and Nanuqsaurus and also people like it cuz drawing dinosaurs in the snow is fucking awesome (boom i just tricked you into learning paleontology history)

Emu is an Archeopteryx because Emu is supposed to be like a phoenix and Archeopteryx could probably fly or glide or smth it's general considered like "the first bird" so like yeah (now that i think about it i could've made her pyroraptor cuz of the name but also she doesn't fit the vibes of a raptor at all i guess pyroraptor has the whole fire bird thing from its name) Emu would also be a small feathered dinosaur for sure so it fits in that sense too.

Nene is a Stegosaurus because the plates kinda look like her hair thing and her outfit in general and i feel like nene would have those tail spikes for some reason idk it just fits her energy, she'd def be a herbivore as well i feel. Also i personally just associate stegosaurus with the color green personally idk why (at first i was thinking she would be iguanodon because that's another dinosaur that's green in my head but she has like nothing in common with iguanodon lmao)

I guess nenerobo would be an Ankylosaurus than because that would like probably be the logical robot version of a stegosaurus maybe idk would nenerobo exist in this universe, you decide idk

i guess next one is that last one unless i wanna redo the vocaloids in this style or redraw saki at some point or whatever see you whenever that happens in however long it takes

[flightfoot]

Why are you always virtue signaling how Alya and Adrien get salted on in posts complaining about other characters receiving fandom hate ? Like that Kagami post had literally nothing to do with Alya but you still brought up how she has it worse than Kagami or whatever, you always dismiss any people complaining about characters' fandom hate with "I don't see them getting hated but even if they do Alya and Adrien still have it so much worse cause I say so !" even tho this doesn't even serve anything to what these people were saying to begin with.

It's not virtue signaling, it's me being extremely upset about the demonization they receive.

I have been complaining about this VERY LOUDLY for half a decade now, because I had a solid year where I just had the exposure to the saltfics, the ways I'd seen Alya and Adrien be treated, running over and over in my head nonstop. It's not fun to be constantly choked up at work for hours on end while having visions of Alya being made to physically beat up Marinette so that Marinette and her posse can crow about getting to hurt her in return, or memories of Adrien being made into this sexual assaulter so that Marinette's new boyfriend can beat him up, or just Marinette being mad that Adrien didn't think continuing with her unsuccessful attempts to expose Lila via accusing her of faking disabilities and then taking revenge on him for that, like by abusing her power to arrange for Lila to sexually harass him for her own viewing pleasure (yes, that was an actual ficlet passing around tumblr back in the day). I read a crapton of Miraculous fanfiction, so I have, unfortunately, seen a TON of it, AND I was exposed to the just absolute insanity of the saltdom from the start, since I joined the fandom in early 2019.

Part of the reason I tend to bring up the gross way Alya and Adrien have been treated is due to some of the arguments I kept on seeing way back in that first year of the saltdom, in 2019. One of the arguments I saw getting passed around was that Adrien deserved the level of just, absolutely insane demonization he was getting because, supposedly, Marinette had gotten more negative fanfics than him in the past, so this was an evening of the scales. As far as I can tell this isn't really true, at least of the degree that the Chameleon saltfics exist. So part of it is righteous indignation for that argument that was made to me by prominent people in the saltdom, since if you applied that same logic and that same degree of amplification to other characters now... well I don't even know what that would look like, the backlash for the Alya bashing would be beyond human comprehension.

The way you're talking about me saying that Alya and Adrien have it so much worse because I say so, implies that you don't think that's actually true. Do you need a link to their bashing tags? Because here's Alya's bashing tag, (it has over 900 entries) sorted by kudos so you can see how insanely popular these things are, so it's not just a few people puttin them out and them then getting ignored, this is a separate fandom derived from gross demonization in and of itself, and a link to the Adrien bashing tag, also sorted by kudos (it has over 700 entries). If you want to try to track down Kagami bashing fics in order to try to compare numbers on that then be my guess, there are, so far, only 3 fics actually labeled as such (though I do know more fics than that actually contain Kagami bashing, it's REALLY not that common, especially at the levels that Adrien and Alya tend to be bashed at. And yes, I am something of an authority on that subject.)

Also, my talking about the Chameleon salt being worse was actually kind of relevant to the post you're referencing.

OP was complaining about everyone being hung up on shipping and Kagami being bashed to high heaven partially as a result, and critiquing the fandom for Die For Our Ship, basically. But while there is some of that in ML, it's not the main contributer to character bashing in the ML fandom, and Kagami being bashed by Lovesquare shippers for getting in the way is one of the most infrequent, mild versions of Die For Our Ship that exists in the ML fandom. Lukanette and Maribat fics are FAR more likely to make Adrien into some horrible person to help justify Marinette hooking up with their boyfriend of choice, than Lovesquare fics are with Kagami. Heck, even if you're just looking at who Lovesquare fics will bash for the sake of a ship, LUKA is far more likely to be subjected to that than Kagami is (it's still not all that common though.)

Also just... back in the day, in 2019, the saltdom presented itself as the "morally correct" choice. Like, that it was critiquing the show and that it was simply giving Marinette justice, and that you were morally a bad person if you didn't recite all of Adrien's wrongdoings if you talk about liking him, and a lot of crap. The plainly racist way that Alya was targeted was dismissed as actually, somehow, being the SHOW WRITER's fault for writing her in a way that caused the Alya bashers to want to write her in a racist way. So part of me constantly bringing it up is also just still fermenting indignation and resentment for that bullshit, because it still doesn't feel like I got closure on this, since the saltfics are STILL being published daily, and are still way more popular than other fics with similar levels of writing quality.

I'm just still really, really upset about this, and when talking about the Adrien and Alya bashing and the stuff they're subjected to with people in real life, I often start raising my volume and yelling and choking up and even being on the verge of tears if I talk about it long enough. I am seriously, GENUINELY that hurt about it, ESPECIALLY for Alya, since she doesn't get the amount of love Adrien does to help offset her hate, and because the demonization Alya gets is so racist and undeserved.

[helpami-flaffy]

EPIC THE MUSICAL OPINIONS, VERY OPINIONS, VERY MINE.

IF YOU DON'T WANT SOME NEGATIVITY DON'T READ. THIS IS NOT PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE I SWEAR.

MOSTLY COMPILED AT NIGHT, SOME REVISION.

PLEASE DO NOT COME AT ME.

.....................

After this saga I'm left kind of perplexed about epic.

What is epic trying to say here? What's the musical's stance on ruthlessness?

Because it isn't very clear to me anymore.

Is it bad? Is it good and just? Is it a necessary evil? Is it worth becoming something monstrous just to achieve your goals?

The thing I'm trying to say is:

Is epic a tragedy or a triumph?

Until the vengeance saga I thought it was the former, but now I'm not so sure.

Throughout the story Odysseus takes desicions that either side with what I'll call the 'open arm mentality' or the 'ruthless' mentality.

He gets punished for both a number of times.

He kills Astianax so he doesn't have to fear his future vengeance.

He spares Polyphemus and that leads to 558 men dying.

He appeals to Circe's humanity and that leads her to freeing his men and helping him get to the underworld.

He sacrificed 6 men to Scylla and that leads to 'mutiny' and 'thunder bringer' where the rest of his crew dies and he ends up in calypso's island where she imprisoned him for 7 years.

First act of ruthlessness= good outcome

First act of open arms= bad outcome

Second act of open arms= good outcome

Second act of ruthlessness= bad outcome

(I forgot to add the sirens, that encounter is kinda strange tho.  Ody kills all of them but I wouldn't call that ruthlessness. Ruthlessness is doing whatever needs doing to get what you want. He needed to know how to get home, and killing the sirens after doesn't matter in that context. I guess it's good for future sailors? I'll count this as an altruistic positive I guess)

This breakdown isn't perfect, lots of other things happen and some things Ody does can't really be neatly categorized by this simple metric imo, but I'll continue anyway as it feels to me the story breaks down his actions in a sort of similar dichotomy.

All in all the 'good to bad' ratio seems pretty balanced, right? It's not always ruthlessness that wins the day, and 'open arms' solutions don't always work out.

So why does it feel like we're supposed to root for ruthless Odysseus? Why does it feel like the story wants us to believe that being the monster is a good if 'somewhat sad' outcome?

Why am I saying this? Well, it's 600 strikes.

Actually just- all the vengeance saga.

Why is what Ody does here supposed to be cool and awesome? Because, like, that is absolutely the angle here.

Complete with a, honestly absurd, anime power up and fighting-god-one-on-one moment.

Why does the story break down it's logic,  breaks suspension of disbelief (at least for me), to get Odysseus into a position were he can torture Poseidon into letting him go?

Wich?? Btw should not work??

Why is this how he wins?

Why are the ghosts of his friends and family no longer spectres of regrets for but terrifying promises of death?

What does this say? Was Odysseus wrong about their sacrifice? Was regret ever only a noose around his neck? I'm looking too deeply into this one lol.

In 'get in the water' we even get the obligatory appeal to Poseidon's mercy just to hammer down once again that 'open arms' doesn't work, even tho it's Athena's appeal to her father's mercy that set Odysseus free in the first place.

The saga ends with Poseidon asking Odysseus how he'll sleep at night after all of this and Ody, in admittedly the coldest line ever written on paper, says:

"Next to my wife"

...

This is cool.

Extremely cool even.

But that's kind of the problem I have with it.

The song ends in a badass way. This is meant to be the final zing to seal Odysseus' cool ass victory.

And in all of this, not once, does the story seem to recognize that...well...

Poseidon won.

Hell not even Poseidon recognized it!

I'm not even saying "OoOh if it was realistic Poseidon would have have won!" (Tho yeah, ask me about that, lol)

In the great ideological battle that's at the center of Epic: the musical, Poseidon was the ultimate victor.

Ruthless is what wins at the end, it's what gets Odysseus home. Odysseus might be a monster but he's a victorious one.

I feel people and the musical both don't really acknowledge that.

That even if Poseidon lost the battle he ultimately won the war.

Were is the irony? Where's the bitterness and sorrow? We're Poseidon's bloodied, mocking smirk revelling in his victory?

Is Epic a tragedy or a power fantasy?

[changbinsboobs]

Who is more into commoners vs idols/celebs?

Skz limiting beliefs

Can you do these in between husband series?

Ugh those guys just can't give a straight answer🙄💀

Who in Skz is more into celebs/commoners?

Chan: not a definitive answer, rather he says when the chemistry's there its there, doesn't really matter what the person is. Although i believe thats what he would say but how it actually is, is that he prefers having someone thats equal to him in the sense that they're both are on the same mental&emotional level. So thats a pretty big indicator for me that for serious stuff he probably leans towards celebs cuz they share a similar lifestyle and understanding of that life.

Lee know: bro just said none💀😂 although when i look past that there's a heavy commoner energy. It just feels simple. Theres no better word to describe the feeling. So i guess he's someone that appreciates simplicity in relationships especially and by logic commoners are simpler than idols or celebs.

Changbin: my guy tells me he likes people who reject him🥲🤡 he likes chasing after something he can't have. I had to pull 3 cards for him cuz bro kept repeating the same thing in each one. Idk guys, i guess he doesn't have a preference or if he does his need to chase and be rejected and wallow in his own tears and despair is way higher on his priority list when looking for a partner than if the person is famous or not🙃

Hyunjin: ehm so...he has had a pretty bad experience with someone so he's shaken in his preference. Idk which one it is tho. Once ahain clarification cards aren't of any help🥲 after long, long, long shuffling i finally got a card which gives me groups & peers vibe so maybe he tried something with a person from his circles and it wasn't good at all so now he's confused as to if he should remain open to idols or not. That being said, my guess is that for now he's keeping it low and kind of in the middle. Maybe not dating complete commoners, but also not celebs, maybe he's oriented himself towards influencers or something of that sort.

Han: Def commoners. He needs to be the star, to be admired, to get lots of attention and having many hypemans. Among other celebs he would be just one among many, but among commoners he's a star. And he lives that. So his choice in partners also def reflects that.

Felix: he likes a good variety. A bit of everything. So i think he may not habe a solid preference but rather be in the mood for this today, and net week in the mood for the other. Yk. For now his new "mood" is wise people. I think he's really into that - people who see through others shit, who cant be fooled easily, who can teach him a lot and have a "godly aura".

Seungmin: he likes celebs, well mannared and pretty. Also may not necessarily be entertainment celebs like idols. Could be actors, ceos, owners of something, just affluent people with status, means, manners and just overall are a "good, valueable contribution to society".

I.N: so either he's saying he likes heartbreakers or that he's a heartbreaker. Boy what?! Ok i think a commoner may have broken his heart so now he's gotten cold towards them or something. Maybe he wants to repay now in ignoring "them" and focusing and considering only options that are more affluent.

[callophelia]

Cookie Run: Kingdom characters if they were HSR pathrstriders... (a ramble)

I caught a wild case of late-night thoughts recently where I started contemplating about CRK and HSR and began wondering what paths would CRK characters be on if they were pathstriders in HSR ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

This is purely based on vibes and sleep-deprived thoughts, but gameplay wise, I think Pure Vanilla Cookie would totally be an Abundance character (though if you held me at gunpoint and told me to choose something else, I would pick Harmony as a second choice). Lore-wise though, I could potentially see him as a Member of the Genius Society (alongside White Lily Cookie pre-truth). I can totally imagine Pure Vanilla having... like... an alternate path form (kinda like the Trailblazer or March 7th) that's Nihility and based on his Truthless Recluse form ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ

I can def see Hollyberry Cookie as a Preservation character gameplay-wise, tho I'm not sure what faction she would be a part of lore-wise. ¯\_(- > -)_/¯

Dark Cacao Cookie, however, I can imagine as a Hunt character and a part of the Xianzhou Alliance, I think...

Weirdly enough, I can sort of vaguely see Golden Cheese Cookie as either a Remembrance or Harmony character gameplay-wise under the same logic as Jing Yuan being Erudition. Lore-wise though, I guess Golden Cheese gives me the vibes of someone who'd be a part of Penacony. At first I thought the Land of Festivities didn't suit her vibes, but then I remembered the appearance of the Golden City, so lore-wise, she could be a part of Penacony, probably a Dreamweaver.

Although I can see White Lily Cookie's gameplay path being Erudition, I think it would be more interesting if she (for similar reasons as Jing Yuan and what I suggested for Golden Cheese) were a Destruction character. Though as I mentioned before, I do think she would be a member of the Genius Society pre-truth. Post-truth, I do think it would be interesting if she had become a part of the Antimatter Legion (maybe even as an Emanator) or the Annihilation Gang.

Shadow Milk Cookie gives me Nihility vibes, tho I do think that, narrative-wise, he too would have been a part of the Genius Society during his Sage/Fount of Truth days (or maybe a member of the Intelligentsia Guild). After becoming a beast tho, I can see him becoming a pathstrider of Enigmata (the opposite of Nous' Erudition) or a Masked Fool ()giving in entirely to Aha's hedonism)

I think Cream Unicorn Cookie's gameplay path would either be Abundance, Harmony, or Remembrance. Don't know what they would be lore-wise tho. ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ

Tho I think Wedding Cake and Black Forest Cookie's gameplay paths would be Harmony and Destruction respectively

And that's all I got now lol (≧▽≦)

Thanks for tuning in to my ramble lol ≽(•⩊ •マ≼

[rileys-battlecats]

Talking about Doveheart and Olivehop’s outside perspective on stuff (I really enjoyed the story you wrote btw. If you ever write more I will be very excited about it) has gotten me thinking about Birchspeckle who also sort of has an outside perspective. In a different way tho. She’s been there the whole time, but still removed from it. You’ve said she’s kinda wary of Mudpaw but also worried about him for his sake right? Cuz I mean he did kill a clanmate, but Birchspeckle knows there’s more to it than just that. What does she think of the situation though? Does she know why Mudpaw killed him and what does she think of that? And if she doesn’t know, does she have a guess?

Also, sorry for the long ask btw and sorry if you’ve already answered any of these questions. I have one more question I don’t think you’ve ever answered before tho: If Birchspeckle didn’t know anything about the whole Mudpaw thing from her abilities, what would she think about his situation? Like how Doveheart and Olivehop (mostly Doveheart) realized something was wrong just by encountering him, would Birchspeckle realize something was wrong by interacting with him and what would she think? Would she think similarly to what Doveheart thought?

Birchspeckle definitely knows Something's Up; she just doesn't know the details (or have any proof, but that's less of a concern for her. she trusts her own vibe-checks). She can certainly make a few educated guesses, though. She knew Wrentail, after all, and knew his feelings about cats like her outsiders. It isn't a huge leap in logic to assume he wasn't good to Mudpaw. Bad enough to kill over, though? That's her main question. She doesn't know the extent of how bad Wren was, and is now trying to determine just how far would be too far for a cat like Mudpaw.

Without her abilities, she would be under the assumption that Wrentail died in an accident, the way the rest of the clan believes. And if Mudpaw seems a little guilty sometimes when that fact is mentioned? Well. Mudpaw has plausible deniability. And really, what apprentice would even have the skills to kill a senior warrior? A twiggy little thing like Mudpaw against Wrentail? No competition. (i.e. she would convince herself out of being suspicious. look at the maybe-murder and go That's None Of My Business. she is Staying In Her Lane.)

As for her thoughts on Mudpaw himself, she would probably come to the same conclusions that she does with her powers; that Wrentail was a big bully of a warrior, and most likely made Mudpaw's life harder than it needed to be. And the scar over his eye would be very suspicious. Border skirmishes with rogues happen, of course, but she doesn't know why an apprentice Mudpaw's age would be involved in one. She doesn't keep up with clan news as much as she should—she doesn't know the circumstances of Mudpaw's injury, or who gave it to him.

His behavior would be difficult for her to judge. He's quiet, very quiet, but she gets occasional glimpses of a spark beneath all the deference and quiet respect. Is it genuine respect keeping him in line? Fear? She doesn't know. He hasn't let his mask drop yet, doesn't trust her enough, she assumes. What will she find underneath? Time will tell.

[spiceofvy]

hi I sent the octopus ask! 🐙🐙🐙

(i just discovered the octopus emoji and it's adorable)

Anyway I mean octopus/sticky as very physically clingy, like arms and legs most be around object of affection at all times (bordering on cartoon logic but might as well have fun with it no?)

Like I think being a human octopus "clingy as fuck" would be sometimes adorable and intimate but also come with a lot of challenges because sometimes it's hot, things get sweaty very fast, it would be hard to escape the bed in the morning, thank fuck for seatbelt laws because a human octopus reader would be all over the drivers lap sort of thing, basically taking physical touch is a love language and dailing it to twelve you know.

Personally I really don't care for being touched these days, (though I wished people could pet me more) so I guess I wanted to see someone work with the concept of super physical contact.

Sorry if my original ask was confusing tho. I learned the use of the word "stickiness" from a an English translation of a chinese web novel (as in clingy as sin) and had visited the aquarium recently so that muddled my use of language by a lot.

TXT - Reader is super clingy

a/n: hiii! thank you for sending an ask again! i totally get your struggle, i also muddle my words a lot especially in english ._. in your original ask you said that any group is okay, so i went with txt because i thought that this prompt would fit them super well. i hope you enjoy 🐙

cws: gender neutral reader, sfw, pure fluff

Yeonjun: The one to enjoy it the least. He just needs a lot of room to move around, he really enjoys being independent. But he will always be very kind about it, holding your hand for half an hour before letting go so you can at least get your fill on physical contact. He still returns to your koala hugs every night, because if he is honest about it, he can't sleep without your hugs anymore…

Soobin: So much teasing from his members. They love joking about how their tough leader was turned into a plushie by his significant other. But he also enjoys it, especially in a more private setting. Finally he can let go and trust that someone holds him anyway. Literally.

Beomgyu: My poor boy overheats really easily, so too much physical contact would kill him especially in the summer. So he really can't stand cuddling for too long. He loves it though in the winter and probably turns into the octopus himself and uses your body warmth

Taehyun: A bit flustered, especially in front of his bandmates. But in private he loves it. Likes to cuddle you all day and definitely clings to your back when you cook and the other way around. Sometimes just carries you around on his back when you don't feel like leaving the bed.

Kai: So happy. Such a happy boy. He is super clingy and cuddly himself, If he likes someone and so he is just over the moon to be with you. Hold his hand all day, sleep on him, sit on his lap during group activities. He doesn't care if he gets sweaty or there are weird looks. He just wants to get all the physical contact that he can.

[danthropologie]

what's your opinion on how things will play out? are they walking back on their decision? was the decision even final? im so lost right now i really dont know what to think and maybe im stupid but im still holding out a little bit of hope that it's not the end yet

the problem here is that red bull as an organization has lost any sense of consistency or predictability so any sort of outside opinion feels completely irrelevant at this point cause they're operating by the weirdest most incomprehensible set of rules ever seen in human history.

i can tell you what i HOPE happens tho and what i hope is that they find a way to walk it back. daniel finishes out the year in vcarb. checo announces his retirement. 2025 is daniel to red bull, liam to vcarb. 2026 is anyone's guess. basically what should have been the decision the entire time AND the only decision that makes any sort of logical sense to me after the decision that was made during summer break. but unfortunately, as we've already established, logic is clearly one of many things red bull is lacking in this year so who the fuck knows

[armitagehuxsleepschedule]

wait omg okay hold on i just saw your post about headcanons for like population growth, birth rates, family & marriage stuff in the first order and since last week i have been trying to compose an at least vaguely comprehensible question about stuff related to that bc i was super curious to hear your opinion on it so i guess this is my sign to just send this ask now even tho my question is not fully formed (i hope that’s okay!!)

first, please share all the headcanons please like i would LOVE to hear them like this stuff is so fascinating to me 🙏 🙏

second, my question was going to be about first order cultural ideas around family, marriage, and parenthood if you have thoughts on that! again, i apologize that these ideas are not fully developed, but i’m so curious what the cultural norms are, esp among officers. bc like, of course many of the stormtroopers are taken as children, so that’s like a different situation entirely, but what if you’re born to like a high-ranking ex-imperial? family name and legacy seem pretty important, so it feels like there would be at least some connection there, but it also doesn’t seem like the most nurturing environment. do the kids mostly get raised by nanny droids and then sent to the academy as a sort of boarding school type situation when they’re old enough?

and also on the marriage thing, do married couples share quarters? it seems like almost everyone in the first order has a military role to some extent, so i doubt there are many ‘stay-at-home spouses’ or spouses living planetside or something. is it like common knowledge when people are together? how do you even navigate that sort of relationship when there is no exterior ‘home’ space to return to, bc everyone is always participating in this military organization that extends to every aspect of people’s lives?

okay whew i’ll be done now!! truly no worries if this is like way too much or if you don’t have thoughts on this! i thought i’d go ahead and ask but absolutely no pressure to answer!! ☺️☺️

(also hello hi this is will-wonders-never-cease ☺️🧡)

(rubs hands together evilly) boy do i ever have specific thoughts on this front >:) this is gonna be long lmaoooo. and quite possibly incoherent.

so i'm gonna preface this by saying most of this is based on absolutely nothing but my own imagination, and not actually supported by canon. i be makin shit up.

in my hc the first order has a policy of mandatory sperm & egg donation for all staff (regardless of rank). they use some kind of artificial gestation machines to actually grow babies from these dna samples, though, because efficient operation of the first order requires all the staff to be in working order regardless of sex/gender, so making the female staff put up with pregnancy and childbirth is just impractical. most younger staff would find the idea of getting pregnant and having a baby the natural way laughable & outdated at best.

and of course for those silly individuals who do somehow against all odds manage to get pregnant and have a baby the natural way, there's no parental leave. it's not your commanding officer's fault you were stupid enough to do that, now get back to work!

kids who are successfully born in the first order aren't told who their biological parents are. the nuclear family is not a thing in the first order, all the kids are being cared for by either droids (in infancy) or training staff (once they're old enough to walk), so the logic is telling the kids who their parents are (and/or telling the parents who their kids are) is unnecessary and could lead to the kids getting unequal treatment.

(they also don't believe in doing nuclear families because they worry that loyalty to a family unit or to a specific relative could compromise loyalty to The Cause TM.)

families were more common in the early first order, when most staff were people who already knew their relatives when they joined or were conscripted, but it gets less common as time goes on and they get more into the baby-kidnapping business. and on the topic of baby-kidnapping, extremely low birth rate is a big part of why they do that in the first order. even with artificial fertilization and incubation, most first order citizens are mostly or completely infertile due to living in space so it's still rare for healthy babies to be born on the ships.

(brendol hux really pushed for them to use cloning instead because it would be easier, but this was shot down because clones aren't a practical way to sustain population growth in the long term. you can use clones for an army whose only purpose is to die in a few years, but you can't use clones to populate a country.)

marriage is something that does happen in the first order, and it is legally recognized, but because they don't have any civilian citizens and don't place much importance on the idea of "family," it's regarded as kind of useless. it's more like a "i mean i guess if you really want to??" situation. especially since the average first order citizen doesn't have any money nor any use for money, so there aren't any financial/political reasons for an average citizen to get married either.

the actual process of getting married is just kind of.....file the requisite paperwork during your break shift. get this paperwork approved by the officer whose job is to approve these things. boom, you're married now, congratulations, get back to work. most married couples in the first order are older staff who were not raised in the order. most younger staff regard marriage as a sort of silly thing old people do. that said, married couples can request to be housed together, and these requests are almost always granted because it's not seen as a big enough deal to be worth fighting about.

you couldn't really have a nice wedding ceremony in the first order because of austerity measures. they're not gonna give you more and/or better food rations just because you wanted to add a layer of official-ness to your silly little romance. there's a war on!

younger staff who romanticize the idea of getting married and having kids are usually basically using it as shorthand for "when the war is over and there's no longer a need for us to dedicate every waking hour to the war effort." it's not uncommon for young first order citizens to have some idea of what they'll do with their lives when the war is done, but it's typically more symbolic than something they genuinely deep-down-inside believe they will get to do someday.

the generational cultural divide is wayyyy more obvious among the officers than among the rest of the population. the overwhelming majority of stormtroopers are first-order-native child conscripts, whereas the higher up the ranks you go, the more the ratio starts to even out then eventually skew in favor of older staff who already had a life before joining. so when you do see first order citizens still adhering to the ideas of marriage and family practiced by most human states in the galaxy, it'll almost always be people who rank higher than a major or a lieutenant-commander.

and finally, just because Blorbo From My Shows must be brought up, you know the imperial boomers go full conservative grandma interrogating her queer grandchild at thanksgiving when it comes to armitage hux. he has heard the "WHY haven't you found someone yet at your age, what's wrong with you?" spiel way too many times. he's part of the "marriage is useless and outdated" generation, though, so his response is typically to roll his eyes and explain for the zillionth time that he's married to the cause.

[the-moon-files]

Who do you think you could beat in a fight? like no weapons, not power gloves/bracelets, just bare hands and a dream.

BARE HANDS AND A DREAMMMM

who let u be this funny kota lmao

Tbh, me v. anything stronger than a chicken or a chuchu, they winning.

Ive only Just started going to the gym, i have very little muscle that isnt from carrying groceries, so hands down, not many things i would realistically fight in botw/loz games in general

If ur talking abt the Links tho?? Uh, none. 💀

Im not that delusional (yet), i mean i guess if u wanna get creative with it, I think, personally,

I could beat some of them in a drinking game lol

Like maybe Sky, Hyrule, Four, Wild, and (to his lightweight dismay) Legend, just bc im not a lightweight so thatd be funny

But general strength? Nah probably none of them

But u wanna hear my delusional takes on this, like if i would just swing regardless of actual strength discrepancy,

Weirdly enough, Hylia? LMAO

*

(Warning, Hylia bashing, if u like her a lot for whatever reason and are going to feel the need to comment in her defense, pls find another post to do that on, this rlly isnt that serious)

*

Alright, let me explain, let me explainnn

So i saw LU blogs defend this better than me, but basically Hylia (not Zeldas) is like lowkey another root cause for problems in Hyrule, she kind of encourages this endless cycle of abuse of "heroes" or mortals, to enlist in this eternal battle against Demise/Ganon, when he's technically immortal, and she should be fighting him herself.

Or at least not making mortals (who can Die) fight for her, especially with the setup being a SINGULAR MORTAL. like not even an army of mortals

(Like i get it, its for stupid-plot-not-rlly-thought-out-reasons so the games get to exist, but suspend ur disbelief pls, assuming this is now a real universe that ive got dropped into)

There are other reasons, like how she possesses every Zelda lowkey against her will, or without her permission to be in her body at least, and that she sort of? I thought, like? Wants to to be with Link every time? Feels kinda creepy?

Idk that one may not be true, but there are way cooler blogs out there that have a nicer receipt list of beef with Hylia, pls find them

But most importantly, if u take nothing else away from this, its that, someone out there, in the depths of LU tumblr, gave reasonable, logical, justifications about how Legend could take down Hylia on his own.

She's basically all magic, so if she suddenly had no more magic in this scenario, im betting that i could at least tackle her and turn it into a bar fight lol

Revenge for all the Links u could say,

I actually thought abt making a fic that had smth like this premise, but eh, ive got so much to write abt rn i havent taken it on

Plus, hey, who doesn't wanna fight God a little?

Hope that answered ur question! Or at least was entertaining!

Sorry if u rlly like Hylia for whatever reason and i just shat on her for like a small paragraph, idk, just unread it or smth

(Im still watching a playthru of SS, but i think i also could specifically take Ghirahim in a arm wrestling contest, ok thank you, good night)

Peace out,

🌙