#i guess it's not cheating if you genuinely don't remember them or whatever

[fix-me-sixteen]

oh my lord burt is married

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

"Halloween Theme Park" Pt. 3 Rogues Party

Sorry, I know it's late but better late then never, lads! We're going to do a series of asks based on the same prompt of going to a theme park that does horror mazes in halloween (see: HHN at Universal Studio, Knotts Scary Farm, Fright Fest at Six Flags, etc). LAST ONE. then back to normal asks I swear.

TW: Horror mazes, theme parks

Riddler

You didn't have to convince him much. The moment you said anything about animatronics and the level of theater involved, he was into it. Will get a disability pass for his knee (and other injuries he's gotten fighting batman over the years). Will play it up that he has a brace for his knee AND a cane, too. Why yes, the two of you shouldn't have to wait in the hour to hours-long-throng of people who might get too close and breathe on him.

Is he petty enough to look at the prices of things and hack into the park system so you get a massive discount? Pffft. Yes, yes he is. It's one of those things no one is going to see unless they're looking. And by the time they look, he'll be long gone out of the system without a trace. If they didn't want things like this to happen, they really should up their security. Needless to say, whatever you want sweetheart, it's on his tab.

He does jump when the scare actors get him and it's all in good fun. Will get his feathers ruffled if someone gets him good or in a way he considers a "Cheat." Won't cause a fuss, however, because this is your thing and shockingly he doesn't want to make any of this about himself. The ones he won't be as gracious to are guests of the park making fools of themselves or being obnoxious. At best, he'll trip them with his cane. At worst, he'll sneak photos of their faces for later Riddler trials.

Favorite themes are sci-fi which is such a shock no one could have ever guessed. If it has ARG, interactive or "secret" elements, he's going to be the one to find all of it. He found a button to press and has a child's sized bead bracelet now and he's very proud of it. If he sees larger animatronics or SFX, he will try to pause to get a look at the mechanics. Something fascinating for him to see the gears so to speak. Will even pay extra for an entire behind the scenes tour.

Penguin

You do have to convince him to go, but it's not a hard convince. Mostly, it's just not his fare. He's seen plenty of awful things in Gotham that border on real-life horror. Plus, there's a lot of disfigurement used as the "fear" element in these kinds of things that leaves a poor taste in his mouth. However, if you ask and make it clear you really want to do this with him, he will.

Does not look at prices. Whether it's the ticket or food or souvenirs... He's got the funds. If there's a possibility for VIP tickets with something like hotel or a spooky dinner included, you don't even have to ask, that's what he's getting. You deserve it. If there's food the place is known for that's good, he's getting it.

There's a fair chance some drunk at the park will make a comment on his stature or looks. It's dark, not everyone can tell who he is in these settings. It can almost be forgiven. Almost. At best, he'll pull them close by the collars and remind them just who he is and what he can do to them. At worst, he's going to remember their face for later, colder revenge. Head under the ice at the lounge, for example.

His favorite mazes would be ones with historical themes, gangsters, that kind of thing. It's familiar. Like looking at a twisted fun-house mirror of his own life and interests. Might even tip his metaphorical hat to a scare actor that banters with him in that kind of outfit.

Mad Hatter

You need to convince him. Several of his crimes border on horrific and genuine terror, but he doesn't seek out horror himself. If anything, he sees things of that nature and sort of... doesn't. He sees Wonderland instead. So going out of his way to be in a horror maze is a bit- you mention costuming and he perks up. Costuming?

Oh. The outfittings! The dedication to details in a scare actors look! He's quite fond of getting closer to the actors in a respectful manner and complimenting their aesthetics in hopes they'll pause and give him a better glance. If he has a sketch pad with him, he's already scribbling and drawing haphazardly. Not of the actors per say, but the ideas they give him. Inspirations... How he can twist it to his perfect world.

Low-key is asking you to take photos of souvenirs you like because he very well might be able to just... make it without it costing 50 dollars. He's absolutely anti-paying this kind of money. It's practically highway robbery! ...However he will pay a little extra for something sweet the two of you will share. Funnel cake, that kind of thing.

So much nervous laughter when he's in the mazes. Lots of "oh! hehehe yes you got me! AHAHAH oh very good!" This is so different then when Jonathan scares him! This is... Not nearly as fun. Still somewhat enjoyable just different. Good thing it's with you!

Scarecrow

He got his own post :)

Music Meister

The biggest wuss on this list. Phantom of the Opera and Frankenstein are about his levels of horror and even then, it's mostly the musical/stage-play versions. If you get him to go on the basis of set-building and the fact that each maze is like a contained live play, he'll find it much more interesting. That's the ONLY reason you convince him to go.

Listen. Clarence is a great guy. He would defend you and protect you through fire if need be. That said, in horror mazes, he does threaten to sprain your arm with the way he twists it close to him when an actor jumps. You aren't a body shield or anything, but you'll notice he shirks behind you on a particularly good scare.

Doesn't really plan on buying anything because the tickets were already kind of expensive (says the man who would pay insane prices for a theater seat)- But if there's something in particular that you like, he either buy it orrrrr do a quick song and dance routine for it at the cash register (it's fine). It's not dissimilar to what he'll do to a rude guest. Except the rude guests will be convinced to walk behind a roller coaster fence :)

If he can get over his fears long enough, you'll catch him ogling the props and set pieces. Standing in one spot a little too long to look at something. What does this contribute to the visual storytelling?

Victor Zsasz

If you mentioned it as something you like to do, he's already bought tickets for it. Maybe even earlier than someone should have been able to. You aren't really sure how he did that and maybe it's better you don't ask. He's just pleased that you're pleased. He's flirting with the monsters/slashers and/or asking which ones you'd let pin you and- quietly! Only to you.

He acts rather nonchalant about prices of things. Doesn't seem to pay much mind to them either way. And yet those dark eyes seem to linger on you as you look at things. If you express interest in something, he'll offer to get it for you. That's what boyfriends do, right? Whether it's a new shirt or some obscenely cute plush with fake blood.

If he could fuck you in the mazes without any consequences, he would. Seeing the fake blood and gore gets him going. The more the better! That's his favorite type of maze. This is all giving him some roleplay ideas... At one point he's definitely going to make out with you either just after a maze or sometime during the night when he can sneak you to a dark corner.

Rude guests? Who would be rude to a man physically covered in tally marks from head-to-toe? Maybe if they were stupid, sure. He'd give them a moment to apologize while staring. It's your night, so he'll try to behave. If they're rude to you, however... He leans in close to their ear, whispering. You can't make it all out but he's smiling in that way of his- The guest leaves in a rush. You're not sure if Victor will do whatever he just threatened... but considering it's you there's a fair chance that's a yes.

Killer Croc

He's uncomfortable with the idea, at first. What if someone confuses him for a scare actor because of how he looks? You find that it's something he's always been curious about but didn't go for that reason. It does happen, but not as often as he feared. Occasionally he does startle an actual scare actor and he feels bad.

Funny enough, he's probably not the one handling a rude guest in this scenario. Someone DOES start to harass him based on his looks (entitlement plus liquor) and he's doing his best not to bash on the guy. He doesn't want to fuck this up for you because of his temper- And then you see another guest jumping in. Are you harassing his man because of how he looks? Are you some ableist prick making fun of him because we're at a horror event? Oh it becomes a thing. What many people don't realize is what a draw these events can be for people who are differently abled whether it's physical or neurodivergency- Someone would be on the rude guest before either of you had to really step in.

He will be disappointed in 90% of the theme park food because he knows he could make this better. You both know this. He'd rather make food before or after and snack on things. Souvenirs? All they do is collect dust like an old ladies knick-knacks huh? He guesses if you want it- Holy shit how much do they want for it? Some of these people need to be in Arkham for these prices, he swears. But he'll get it for you if you don't get it yourself.

If there's a voodoo/hoodoo based maze, he's steering clear from it. He's heard enough offensive stereotypes about that sort of thing for a life time. It's just annoying at this point. He actually doesn't mind circus or freak show themes because of his moonlighting back in the day. Yeah, maybe they should kill all the gawkers, actually.

Harley Quinn

You don't have to convince her at all. You mention date night at a horror theme park and she jokes about if Crane is in charge of it. Apparently he did a haunted house last year that sent people running out. But she supposes a whole park dedicated to it would probably be okay ;P . Of course she wants to go, it's going to be fun and thrilling! And if the scaring doesn't get her heart going, she'll run to a roller coaster!

Lowkey loves being chased. She will instigate a scare actor by running and squealing if someone actually gets her. Is she truly scared? Fuck no. Then, Harley gets downright goofy if there's a clown maze or scare zone. Big "you see your cousins at the store" kind of energy. So much banter, especially since she's somewhat plainclothes and they might actually not recognize her.

Doesn't seem to pay much attention to pricing of food or merchandise unless it's particularly egregious. Then she's hands on hips "Whaddya mean you want that much? Highway robbery, that's what that is!" Do you want her to steal it? She can steal it and they probably wouldn't notice (they would).

She'll fight somebody if they're rude to you or employees. Tiny but mighty that's absolutely her. You wanna say somethin'? If you have any strength, there's a chance you can pick her up before she actually hurts someone. Because she WILL hurt them, especially if they physically harmed an actor.

Poison Ivy

This was the kind of thing she never got invited to do when she wasn't "pretty." Group night out or dates... and she never saw the point of going by herself. So it's on when you bring it up for a date night. When she goes she's in full spooky fashion. The woman could be doing a modeling session for insta if she wanted. She's giving beautiful decay and rot, babes.

In the spirit of behaving and not making a scene, any rude guests will find themselves trapped in place by plants as you and Pamela walk away at a moderate pace. A wave of her hand and suddenly they're tangled in the grass of all things. Wow. That sucks. Guess it's a good thing for them she can't feed them to her carnivore plants.

Will absolutely use her powers of charm and plant-based pheromones to get discounts on stuff in the park. Oh, was there some shirt you wanted or a stuffed animal and it's too expensive? She's got this. Either that or she pulls out one of those premium credit cards that she absolutely did not con off of someone.

For the most part she barely regards the scare actors with a glance unless they specifically target her. If a scare actor manages to surprise her particularly well, she'll give a few well-placed curses and plants around her grow in a spurt. She'll give a dry laugh and walk it off, mostly based on your reaction. She's a good sport about it. For themes- Literally any kind of theme set in nature or about nature taking over? That's her bag, no notes, everyone deserves it. Creepy crawlies count, too! Club settings with electronic noise and grinding machinery are less to her taste.

Two-Face

Both of them are very tentative to going. Harvey doesn't want to be confused for a scare actor... and Harv has a similar feeling but in the sense of not wanting to be gawked at. They'll go if you REALLY want, but it's completely for you. Might even try to be low-key and in disguise.

Harv complains about every single price. With what you paid for to get in here, the drinks should be free, at least. Harvey has no problem shelling out just because this whole thing is focused on you, anyways. Harv may eventually join in on the prospect of spoiling you considering that's his bag.

If someone was brave (read: stupid) enough to actually comment on Two-Face being there with their looks? "It'd be a damn shame for me to take out your eyes-" and a lisping growl from Harv as they get far too close to whoever said it. If it's you, they're lifting the person off their feet and there's a need to get them to cool off.

HATES asylum bits. Especially if there's poorly done plot-lines with DID in them. "Been there!" Harv exclaims. "Done that-" Harvey finishes. It's just tasteless and insulting at this point, especially given the large amount of press given to the rotating door residents of Arkham. Similarly to Penguin, he'll like historical themes, especially mobsters and the like.

Black Mask

Honestly? You convince him and I'm not sure it would go well. The park doesn't want to let him in due to the "mask" on his face and he's threatening staff members. You have to remember his medical documentation or else NEITHER of you will be getting into the park. Then someone asks if he wants a disability pass and he's throwing another fit. The semi-ableist toxicity is real if it's towards himself. To be clear, if you needed accommodations he'd fight bare-knuckled for you. The next realistic thing that I could see happening? Someone jumps at you and Roman, on instinct, knocks their lights out and you get kicked from the park.

We'll pretend that didn't happen though. He's cocky and refuses to be scared by anything. Someone jumps at him, he just glares at them in some strange macho way of trying to intimidate them. This results in some fun interactions where there's just. a stand-off. The scare actors might even know who he is and they know he can't do shit about it here. He's forced to play into it until you pull him away. It goes about the same for rude guests, although he might actually have those guys killed off screen later.

He will not comment on prices of anything because he's better than that. Also, I mean, it's one banana, Michael. What could it cost? 10 dollars? He does have that... rich people blindness to what something should cost vs. mark up. So yeah you'll be leaving with plenty of things you absolutely did not need but it caught your eye and he wants you happy.

He's dead-set on none of it scares him when you ask him what he liked. Not the question you were asking but O-K. In truth, he doesn't like incredibly low-light mazes because he doesn't like being unable to see what's in front of him- nor does he like grasping his way around with his hands. He doesn't mind body horror, especially face action. Makes him think of his start...

Mr. Freeze

You have to convince him to go and you pretty much have to promise to be at his side the entire time. It isn't because he's cowardly or anxious, he just doesn't like jump scares. If it's at you or at minimum both of you, that takes some of the edge of it off. It's an activity for the two of you, not... random people trying to scare a man in a full breathing apparatus.

The funny thing about this is that scare actors typically will not go for him. He's tall, broad, and he's recognizable as THE Mr. Freeze from a distance. Some people might even think he's a scare actor until they're right up on him. This does work to his advantage to rude guests, though. He just sort of... looks at them. Doesn't need to do much and they back off.

He doesn't really eat. Not... in public anyways. He has his nutritional lines that pumps directly into his system allowing a perfect ratio of needed calories for the night. He also doesn't see the joy or interest in merchandising. He won't object to you partaking, however.

His feelings on scare actors does transfer to the whole of mazes. It's just... not really his thing. He will like themes related to the arctic or freezing, predictably enough. Sort of a happy place. It's what his perfect world would look like, except for you in protective gear yourself. Perhaps more theming related to science fiction? He did always like those comics as a young boy...

Ra's al-Ghul

Why would you pay to get scared? That's the first thing he asks. Then when you try to explain it, he goes off into a ramble about the state of the world. People used to have problems- things they were really frightened of! Yes, ghost and horror stories always existed but this is taking it to an entirely new level- He's going to sound like such an old man about this. Yes, you have to convince him.

When people jump at him, he just rather... blinks. Unlike Black Mask who is trying to keep an image, Ra's is truly unphased. He will compliment a scare actors makeup and is pleasantly surprised when they pose mid-snarl for him to get a better look. Ah. It's theatrics. The people who do this are proud of the artistry. Interactive play... Hm. It puts it in a different, more enjoyable light for him.

Will not be purchasing any expensive merchandising. The whole thing is gauche and reeks of capitalism. Outside of the people actually working the event, he feels surrounded by entitlement and rude behaviors. He is one drunk guest bumping into him and saying something before he contemplates Actual Crimes. He'll opt to glare into their soul instead but they don't know how close he was.

Gravely insulted by any kind of theming about indigenous cultures (not done correctly/thrashed) or "ancient spooky religions oooo." He feels a deep hostility that turns him into a bit of a Karen, I'm ngl to you. However, will appreciate a well-decorated set that fits a theme. It has to make sense.

Bane

No. Very politely, just no. It's not about how you ask him or how you convince him, this is a hard no for him. He does not like people jumping at him, he does not like the tight spaces. Nothing about scare actors or mazes appeals to him. Plus, he knows his instinct in fight, flight or freeze is to fight. He knows he would lash out at someone on instinct and that would be irresponsible of him to go to an event like this.

Take him trick or treating. Hell, take him trunk-or-treating. He'd love to go to a pumpkin patch with you! He'll gladly try to go to a theme park with you outside of a horror event. He might have a hard time fitting in on rides but... He'll go! Just, please, mi amor, don't ask him to do this one thing.

He would absolutely support you going. Pick you up and drop you off, even just so you're not driving late or having to pay for a hotel. If you need extra money for a ticket or for merchandise to go with your friends, he's more than happy to help out. There's nothing in him that wants to ruin something you genuinely enjoy.

You can tell him all about it once you're home with him. Fun stories or your favorite mazes and why- Let him share this with you in a different way.

[reallyquitestrange]

Jack for the character ask

Tell us about your girl 😉

Okay lets do it! love her so much

favorite thing about them Her romance is amazing. Total absolute badass who is deeply flawed and damaged, slowly opening up to you, and being scared of that. Her and Miranda are kinda Foils for each other. They are both women (biotic humans specifically) and they are both connected to Cerberus through fucked up childhoods but on the outside, Miranda is the perfect princess who grew up in 'better' circumstances and made a choice (not really but this isn't about her) to go to Cerberus to escape her abuser. Meanwhile, Cerberus was Jacks abuser and even when she was free of them she still had to claw and fight and work for every step she took after. And that shows in her character in a very literal and physical way.

least favorite thing about them How fucking tough all her intricate tattoos are to draw.

favorite line I can't remember it exactly, but if you bring Jack on Miranda's Loyalty mission in 2, the eclipse leader asks if Cerberus lets her whore around in that outfit, and Jack says "I think I'm starting to like her." or something along those lines its very funny.

brOTP Oh this is hard cause in general she gets along with everyone and yet no one. But I think Post 3 her and Kaidan could be like teaching buddies? and her and Miranda might even settle their differences and be friends cause again, foils; neither of them know what its like to be a 'Girl' cause they both had the key part of growing up female taken from them. I imagine they'd have fun sleep overs with Tali and Kasumi

OTP

I think this is a self explanatory one. Vack or Jega, whatever boats your float, I will die on this ship. The fact that they are perfect for each other and there is no doubt in my mind the DLC writers meant for us to get that vibe. Jack calling him Muscles, when his whole thing is nick names. The morning after, when he is WIDE THE FUCK AWAKE ready to make eggs, and she's WORKING OUT in the down stairs bedroom, doing pull ups. Both him and her having high scores at the Arena (and i think at one point the scores update and they switch spots?) They fuck and its hot, in my mind that has always been the canon plan

nOTP I don't really object to her and anyone but I guess its cause she only really gets shipped with Shep and Miranda that i've seen. If there was a squadmate I would absolutely like to NEVER SEE with her, I think it'd be Jacob. He's a Cerberus bitch who also cheats. just all around a bad LI for everyone.

random headcanon She still gets the N7 tat on her ass, only it's for James.

unpopular opinion I don't really actively ship her with Miranda...I've seen some good art, some cute fics, but I just genuinely cant see them ever being together in a sexual relationship. I'm not against it! Just have a hard time believing it.

song I associate with them I have a playlist for her so let me pick 4

I have a whole art about this one

Basically any Kesha song but specifically this recent era

In this moment gives Jack vibes but the black widow album is so fucking her I can't even explain

favorite picture of them

Again, but if I had to pick art that wasn't my own (cause I swear I'm not That conceited) This one by messydiabolical

[1yyyyyy1]

what do you think about poly? i hate it because i don't think its possible to actually be in love with 2 people without pair bonding more with one, or value someone while having sex with someone else. i feel like it's a cover for how shitty men and some women are at commitment. a part of me believes men don't feel true love or intimacy, but admitting that only makes me feel like i'm validating them when they say they can't commit and it's "unrealistic" but it's really just being a good partner.

I like not to think about it :) Everything I've learned about polygamy has been against my will… I distinctly remember a male on Reddit describe his experience with polygamy, in which he spoke about having a "polygamous mindset" for a lack of a better word. He was in a committed relationship with a monogamous woman and chose monogamy because he liked her as a person (I'm guessing polygamy was a hard boundary for her). He said that, aside from the pull to be with multiple people, him being polygamous meant that he was genuinely happy with his partner seeing (and sleeping with) other people and enjoying it; it didn't sound like he was describing a fetish and it was in general different from the idea of polygamy I previously had in mind. It stood out to me because he was mostly talking about his attitude towards his girlfriend partnering others and not his personal gain, so I could see how it could be a mutual dynamic between compatible partners. This kind of changed my opinion on what polygamy could be like if it involved emotionally mature and self-aware people, even if didn't make me understand the appeal any better.

Generally speaking, I don't have a strong opinion on polygamy (or polyamory) because I prefer to concern myself with the things that are for me. I can imagine polygamy working out for people, even if only within the confines of a thought experiment, so I'm not going to dismiss it on the premise that it is inherently dysfunctional. I'm not going to dismiss it in favor of monogamy either because I don't view monogamy as a sign of adjustment. Some people are into monogamy because they are obsessive and controlling, and monogamous partnerships are still notorious for cheating and turning into an "open relationship". I'm less and less inclined to be picking a side as people always seem to find a way to pervert whatever it is I would be supportive of... It is possible to stand up for your preferences without disparaging the other option — and risking being wrong in the process. The reason I would only ever consider monogamy is very simple — I don't like sharing my life on a profoundly personal level with multiple people. My overall personality traits coincide in a way that makes this unfeasible for me. I am very private about my life experiences and I would not share them with someone who is not fully invested. I also see relationships as a learning experience, and since I like getting to the bottom of things I would be genuinely distressed if me getting closer with someone were diluted by some other person's contribution. This may sound like a self-absorbed approach to something as reciprocal as a relationship, but laying down the precise terms on which you enter one makes it impossible for people to sway your opinion in a direction that doesn't benefit you. It doesn't matter to me if my standards are framed as "a desire for ownership" or "controlling", which are all common accusations made against monogamy. The point is that I would never consent to a relationship (let alone sexual contact) with a person who is not willing to match my commitment and views on privacy, it would violate my personal boundaries and I am better off not entering a relationship altogether until my conditions are met.

I would argue that there is an issue with commitment on people's part, but I would attribute it to something other than a specific relationship model. What I see is that most relationships are formed out of convenience, and revolve around reproduction, shared finances and sexual gratification. The reason I believe this results in commitment issues is because these are all non-specific traits most functional adults can perform and provide. There is not much ground for personalized bonding, and this approach can result in indecisiveness about which partner to commit to (if at all). This, of course, can also lead to multiple partners being a valid option at the cost of them being entirely replaceable... To answer the question the second time — I do think that relationships that involve multiple people can be a sign of poor commitment and superficial bonding.

As for men's inability to love, I don't see acknowledgement as endorsement and I don't understand why it is such a common notion. My negative assessment of people is there for me to have an understanding of what I am dealing with, not to validate said people. In acknowledging that men are incapable of commitment, I choose to allocate my efforts to someplace else because attempting to change a person's behavior is a waste of my time. I don't feel responsible for men's stance on faithfulness; I believe them to be capable enough to live in accordance with their convictions regardless of outside influence. I know for a fact that no amount of external validation would make me cheat on my partner, so it is not a stretch to extend these expectations to other people, including men.

[crimswnred]

Tim anon again. I love him! Also love your take on the Jen x Tim breakup!

Under the assumption of a slowburn friends to lovers for MC x Tim after the show.

Do you have HC’s for both how Tim’s & MC’s friends & family react to the show.

Who likes them with what person concerning couplings and who do you think might have already seen the chemistry between them and thought they would couple up or wanted them to get together.

uh, I love this!!

(I rambled a lot lol so this got bigger than it should! I hope it makes sense 😭)

let's assume MC was on a Levi/Mason route for this, ok? so, I'm guessing MC's family and friends don't really like Levi/Mason. not only because they cheated but also because they were stringing both MC and Jen/Allegra along.

do they think of Tim as a good option right off the bat? nah, I don't think so. saying the rap crew keep in touch, I think Jake would be everyone's first pick for MC — I mean, he has a nice career, is super sweet and he's also mature.

however, as their feelings for each other grow, is kinda hard not to root for Tim and MC. especially because Tim is incredibly charismatic and really supportive of MC. he gets on well with her friends, ofc, and he even finds a way to charm her dad. everyone genuinely likes him and when they get together it's just natural.

I think Tim's family likes Jen. I mean, she's nice and a very sweet girl, even though she can come across as s snob sometimes. I don't think they really get in the middle of his relationships, they're just happy he's happy. however, when he starts to demean himself because of her, that's when they start telling him things aren't ok.

based on Tim's first impression of Jen — about her basically being a brat —, I think his friends don't like her at all. they totally call her stuff behind her back like princess money or whatever. they rather to hang out with someone who's not a stuck up.

I can see Tim's mum and friends loving MC! they just love the whole rap crew — Jake, Rohan, Talia, MC. she definitely fits way better to his real life than Jen. and if they watched the show, they WILL BE teasing both of them ALL THE TIME.

as for the LI crew... well, Rohan is clueless. no, like, he really didn't know they had feelings for each other and he is SHOCKED when they start dating.

Jake knows. he absolutely knows. even before re-watching the show, he just knew. he witnessed the longing stares, the almost picking each other at the recoupling moments. how they were always hanging out by the daybeds and joking around. he may or may not have a bet going with Talia about who confesses their feelings first.

and Talia knows too. because, and I don't know if you guys remember this, but MC tells her she would couple up with Tim (if you, like, chooses the option, of course). and she's not stupid. she picked up every single flirting moment, Tim's disappointed face when MC says in the lie detector she doesn't have any other crushes in the Villa.

[nonnie-confessions]

tw mentions of childhood abuse and sexual abuse

sorry if this it too heavy, i'm not really sure what i want by telling you this, i guess i'm just venting and maybe looking for some validation on my feelings

i love my mom, but i have a lot of mixed feelings towards her, both of my parents actually. when i was little my mom would hit my sibling and i, the younger ones don't really remember it but us older kids do

the last time my mom hit me i was 12, my mom slapped across my face because i was "being a bitch" all day, i had been pondering if i should tell my parents that i was queer but heard my dad make a homophobic remark about gay men and chose not to, of course that hurt me and i was mad that my dad would say such a thing, so yeah that was a bad day (it was also a week before my birthday)

i know they sound terrible but we've had a lot of good times, my dad is really funny and makes us laugh a lot and my mom gets us a lot of stuff, i think it's to make up for all the bad stuff

they both come from troubled childhoods and were both beat and sexually abused by people who they should've been able to trust, and i feel like the worst person and daughter harboring such negative feelings towards them when i know they've been through worse than me

obviously, they both have plenty of issues, my mom for example has ocd and depression (when i was 14 she told me she wanted to kill herself) and my dad chooses to push down his feelings and pretend he's fine, which results in bursts of angers but it's a quiet, subdued anger and usually just results in a lot of yelling

her ocd was bad when i was little, we had our room and we could do whatever in there but we weren't allowed to leave that room, with the exception of going to the bathroom but we couldn't touch anything that wasn't necessary i.e the sink, so yeah, she was strict and yes, i'm homeschooled, needless to say i've had a very sheltered childhood

they're a mess, and honestly a worse couple, i mean when i was 8 my dad left home for 3 days and mom was a wreck, i was up at night consoling her while she cried and my dad was literally at a strip club spending our money, my dad used to cheat on my mom a lot so y'know not exactly a model couple but at least i know all the red flags

i have a lot more stories about them and could go more in depth but i mostly just wanted to explain how i feel and give context for why i feel this way, sorry this has gone on so long, i guess i had more to say on the topic than i originally thought but they're a lot better now (my moms taking meds now) and the good days outweigh the bad

firstly PLEASE DO NOT APOLOGIZE i'll put tw's in the tags and i'm always open to hear anyone vent ♡ secondly if this isn't very comforting i'm so sorry (i'm not the best at reassuring people)

anyway i'm definitely not qualified to give you any advice in any way but in my opinion you should be allowed to be angry for the things that your parents did to you. i understand that they also had bad lives, but nobody demanded them to have children at a time when they couldn't treat one well.

regardless of how good they are sometimes it is absolutely legitimate of you to be angry toward them. them having gone through "worst things" doesn't mean what they did to you was okay. i'm glad they're getting better but still, i would have the same reaction as you. genuinely i don't know what somebody in your situation is supposed to think beyond having negative feelings about all of it. being homophobic is not okay. slapping your 12 year old kid is not okay. what happened to them wasn't okay either, but that doesn't mean they can continue the cycle of abusing others.

i really really really hope this makes sense and that it gave you a bit of validation. the way i see it you are in NO way in the wrong ♡

[owenryder]

MERROCK TASK #24 ALL ABOUT LOVE 🩷

A LITTLE ABOUT LOVE

What does love mean to you? I don't even know, honestly. I'm not the kind of person that goes through life looking for love. I think it's about having passion, though. For something or someone.

When is the first time that you can remember experiencing love? This is probably going to sound pretty fucked up, but moving to Merrock and being surrounded by good people.

Who is the very first person that you ever loved? My nanny.

How many relationships have you been in? Very few, like a small handful. I'm not a relationship guy.

Has love ever gotten you into trouble? If you change this to sex and hooking up, yes. Love itself, no.

Has love ever gotten you out of trouble? Not really.

Do you show your love through grand or small gestures? I think I do both, but I take a lot joy in the grand ones.

How do you feel about saying ‘I love you’? Is it easy for you, or hard? I've only ever told one or two partners that I love them, I suck at telling my parents. I can tell my friends and Grey and Carson, but I think that's like... genuine love, more than what you're asking about.

Is there a difference between loving someone and being in love with them? If so, what is it? I wouldn't really now.

Do you love yourself? Most people would argue probably a little too much, yes.

HEARTBREAK & THE DOWNSIDE

Have you ever had your heart broken? Nah.

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Yes.

What is the worst break-up that you’ve experienced? One time, I split from a girl I was kind of, sort of seeing, but she definitely thought that we were more serious than we were. She called me for weeks crying on the phone.

What is the best break-up that you’ve experienced? Probably my break-up with Mads. It was amicable and I got to stay in a town that I loved.

How do you typically handle a break-up? I don't. Most of the time if I'm breaking up with someone, or calling something off, I just sort of ghost the situation.

Have you ever cheated on someone before? I don't really know if you'd call it cheating, but I've probably been seeing multiple people at once without them all knowing about it. They just never asked.

Have you been cheated on? If it's the above situation, probably yeah. For what it's worth, I didn't care.

What’s your go-to movie, song, food or activity that you need to get through a break-up? Just booze. Maybe some dancing in a club, but mostly booze.

Have you ever been married and experienced divorce? Or something similar? Nope.

Did your last relationship end well? I'm still here in town after me and my ex broke up, so... yeah.

SINGLE & READY TO MINGLE

Do you enjoy being single? I do.

In your opinion, why are you single at the moment? Because I did monogamy once and I'm cool with not living that life again.

Do you like to date? I actually really, really do not. I find dates impossibly boring, I'd rather meet someone at a bar and go home and skip the small talk.

What is your favorite way to meet new people? At Vibrations, or maybe running into someone at the art gallery that's looking for a sexy painting -- that's my in.

Are you on any dating apps at the moment? I am. Several.

Have you ever gone on a blind date? Yeah.

What kind of relationship are you most interested in? I'm not.

What is the best part of being single? Not feeling tied down to anything or anyone, I like to live my life the way that I want to live my life, that's it.

What is the worst part of being single? I guess the lack of companionship? But if you have good friends, it's okay.

What are you looking for in a partner? Sex.

THE SPICY STUFF

Do you enjoy sex? Yep.

How long have you been sexually active? Since I was sixteen.

If you have a partner, do you have a healthy, active sex life?

If you are single, are you still sexually active with others? Yep.

Are you the casual sex type, or do you need a relationship? Casual sex type. Friends with benefits, one night stand, hook-ups, whatever.

What kind of lover do you consider yourself to be? The good kind? That sounds dumb, but I mean this: whatever kind you need me to be to be happy.

Are you adventurous in the bedroom, or do you keep it tame? Adventurous, yes.

Sex toys in the bedroom? Yep.

Have you ever had sex in public? Yep.

How many partners have you had? A lot.

FUN STUFF ABOUT LOVE

What is your favorite love song? Closer by NIN?

Favorite romantic movie? I don't really watch romance movies.

Best date that you have ever been on? Probably the party that I met Mads at. It wasn't really a date, but it was still a good time with a future partner.

What’s a meal that says 'I love you’? Literally anything -- I am not picky when it comes to food, if you make me something, I'm going to be in love.

What type of valentines would you send out if you were in school? I've never passed out valentines.

Favorite Valentine’s day candy? Truffles.

Who was your first celebrity or “famous" crush? Jessica Alba and Paul Walker simultaneously in Into the Blue.

How do you feel about Valentine’s Day? It's just a day, but I make pretty good tips at work.

Do you decorate for Valentine’s Day / the season? Nope.

What are your Valentine’s day plans? I worked.

[niconiconwo]

12 and 17.

12. What’s your most controversial opinion? Would you state it publicly? What’s the most controversial opinion that you would publicly support, if it’s different? A: I genuinely am not trying to cop out here, but I don't know what would be considered actually controversial anymore. Regardless, whatever it is I would state it publicly and wholeheartedly.

My best guess would be my support of abortion alternatives, which pisses off one side for not being "pro-choice" enough and the other for not being sanctity of life enough or w/e. Like I despise abortion but it's medically necessary to keep around and we do not have any alternative elective replacement yet. Specifically I like the baby orb artificial womb idea few years back, we shouldn't kill unborn children and I only care about that child not the petulant adults acting irresponsibly.

I remember people getting mad b/c this method wouldn't rid the retarded bitch mother of the "reminder" of her fuck up which is also a fucked way to talk about a living innocent life. Like you dumb slut, should have used protection or taken Plan B or something. Your anxiety that the child will find you one day and make you fEeL bAd is not a valid reason to murder that fucking child you psychopaths.

On the other end, lotta ultra-christers moaning about how that would be playing god. Like you either want fewer dead children or not, pick one you dumb losers.

17. What’s the most interesting coincidence you’ve had happen to you (or someone you know)? A: I don't typically remember them after a little while so a recent thing is I was at a light yeah? And in front of me was a Malibu while behind me was a Cruze, from the same era as my Aveo. Family reunion :) (Kinda cheating b/c there are a dozen Chevy dealers all around here but it was neat anyways.)

[ifallinlovewithfictionalboys]

Thoughts on Redemption arcs *Rant*

I feel like this post might actually piss some people off, especially in this fandom, but oh well.

I'm not one of those fans that can write a 20-page detailed paper explaining every little detail of the show, or whatever. But I do have opinions, and this post is pretty much just that: opinions, not facts.

I really like redemption arcs and fics when done correctly. I don't think they are done that well in 9-1-1 because they are too...fast. It's something you have to build little by little, not in a single episode. Despite all of that, 9-1-1 does have a lot of Redemption and forgiveness themes (Hen's cheating, the Buckley parents, Bobby's past, etc).

I need to emphasize something though...

I think a lot of people these days have a tendency to look at someone's past and think that they should not be forgiven, that they don't deserve redemption. As if people, over time, don't change. People are always changing, little by little, throughout their lives whether that is for the "worse" or "better".

Instead, someone sees an old, racist tweet from a celebrity and decides to "cancel" them. There's a lot of problems with that: For starters, not everyone will actually think that tweet is racist.

Keep in mind, I live in a "diverse city", I guess. I'm white, but I'm not surrounded by just white people. Every race under the sun is all around me in this city, and growing up I actually kind of thought that was normal everywhere. Until I obviously realized that's not the case, but anyway.

The thing is, I've read some of those tweets and other OLD posts from celebrities that have been dug up to cancel them. Some of them are yeah, pretty bad. Others are actually debatable. Because it's important to remember that it also kind of depends on their culture. Not just like, "Latino culture" or something like that, because Latino culture also changes depending on where they live and their own families.

But another problem I have with that is when we declare someone doesn't deserve forgiveness based on their past mistakes, we seriously can not expect the world to change for the better.

I'm not saying to forgive, either. That's not the point of this post. You don't need to forgive everyone (in fact, that's definitely not a good idea). But holding grudges and "canceling" people?

In my honest opinion, I think that's seriously unhealthy. And honestly, a little immature. But once again, this is not in reference to every person and every situation, so don't go yelling at me and giving me a reason, because if so you are missing the entire point of my post.

(To be fair, I have ADHD and tend to struggle putting my thoughts in a coherent order in general, so I totally understand if you don't understand ME. 😂).

Now, in regards to 9-1-1...

I tend to write a lot of fics that are not in favor of the Buckley parents, but to be fair they are always OOC. It's mostly just using them as a plot device, not some in-depth character study, or some shit.

A lot of people absolutely hate the redemption arc with the Buckley parents. I'm not a big fan of how it was done (again, I think it's done super fast, but that's because of time constraints for the most part). But I actually DO kind of like the redemption arc. It doesn't mean that they won't ever have problems again, and it doesn't mean they've changed entirely. It's...I don't actually know how to explain this one?

Like, I could completely forgive Bobby for his past (the fire in Minnesota killing his wife, kids, and over 100 people). Because IMO, that was a genuine mistake. Plus, a lot of it also had to do with the fact that the apartment was not up to code at all.

The Buckley parents, however, I don't completely forgive. The way they treated Buck and Maddie. I am not the type that will say it's completely unforgiveable. But I am also not under the impression they have completely changed either, but are trying. In that case, it's more like "partial forgiveness" -- enough where, if I was in Buck's shoes or something, I forgive them enough to want to work on my relationship, but not enough where it's a genuine redemption. (Does that even make sense?).

Anyway, my point (jesus fuck I don't even know what my point is anymore) is that people do change, and this whole hatred against redemption arcs can actually be pretty annoying, and probably even unhealthy and damaging. Because people do this in real life, too.

But also, forgiveness is kind of a...personal thing, too. Like, it's weird to me when people get MAD at Buck's character forgiving his parents. Because if this was real life, why the fuck would you get mad at someone for forgiving someone that wronged them? That's their choice. And yeah, this is fiction, it's a story. But maybe that's because I've been writing since I was a kid and I'm not the type of person that heavily critizisizes someone's creative choices. The whole 9-1-1 cast (actors, directors, etc) are pretty much expressing themselves creativity, and I think that is beautiful. There's a difference between not liking something versus just outright hating something and critizing it.

Personally, I think people hate too easily. Hate is such a strong word, ya know? Like just calm down, it's not that serious. If you don't like something, you can still express that respectfully?

I'm probably being so overdramatic about it, though. I'm not always good at reading tone. I always thought I was good at understanding what people are feeling, but maybe I'm confused and there's some mixed signals. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's just so much easier to just like...enjoy what we like, and let go of what we don't. Which is kind of funny for me to say because my psychiatrist thinks I have anxiety, and maybe I do/did, but it's always been about the things I can't control that greatly effect my life. Not something like this.

ANYWAY, that was a long rant and probably didn't make any sort of sense 😂

[simplytrina]

Battle of the Ex's

I've really been thinking of relationships that I've had and what I've learned from them all and what there is to be taken away from them as lessons learned.

More often than I like, I have been thinking back to my last relationship (or the shell of it) and really had to decide what lesson I was supposed to learn from it. What did I actually gain from spending precious amounts of time with a man, who I knew for some time, was stringing me along.

I ended with the relationship that has been a focal point for comparison.

Albert (wow I rarely say his name but not sure why not)

Now my relationship with Albert was not perfect, I basically chronicled the entire thing in several journals that start at 2007 and end around 2012...when I started this blog.

So when I reflect back I know it is not with rose tinted glasses because everything was written down...the good, the bad, the ugly, and the sad.

Ultimately what I gathered from the comparison is this:

I could truly say, if I needed Albert for anything, I was able to call on him and depend on him. Whether it be for a pep talk, or when I needed a new coat for winter, when the season abruptly changed- as they do in Maryland.

I never felt like I was a burden. I do recall only pulling the red lever out of desperation.

I also remember coming to the realization that I could not rely on Albert as a crutch and made the conscious effort that I had to move on. He still sent cards and sent gifts. I guess I knew he cared.

In comparison to Dominique, my most recent ex. We had several conversation and there were times where things didn't add up, but I didn't press the issue. There were times when I needed help and assistance and he was LESS than helpful.

I can't remember what I needed money for, but I asked him for some-and I remember specifically saying "whatever you can spare" and he yelled at me, made me feel horrible, inadequate, and still did NOT give me anything. (to be clear he NEVER was hurting for money...ever).

He also said that he reason for not wanting to take the next step of moving in with me, was because of my "finances" I cried because I was so hurt and did not understand. I did damn well for myself, never asked for help paying rent, car note, NOTHING. But it was all gaslighting because he wanted to cheat in peace.

It was at those moments, that I knew I couldn't ask him for anything and and knew that was bad- and a relationship couldn't flourish like that...and I still stayed.

My mom had two MAJOR surgeries while we were together and BOTH times he could not put his own ego and actions aside to be there for me. The last time, when my mom had open heart surgery and I called (no answer) and texted him as plain as I could "I need you" and he never called back, he simply said (hours later) " what do you need" but the question was lacking care and consideration- he didn't care what I needed. H

My mom had her 1st heart attack while I was with Albert, he absolutely HATED hospitals...but he was there in the hospital with me.

Needless to say, I still think about both ex's -but they way I think of them is totally different.

The light I see them in is totally different. The respect I have for them is TOTALLY different.

Albert- I keep a healthy distance because he is married. I admire him from a distance but I know we BOTH know how hard we worked to be where were are and have what we have. He will always have my respect, love, and genuine support. I am proud of him and who he has become.

Dominique- I am not sure I respect him. I am not sure I actually knew him. I feel like I got flashes of the real person... I believe but I wasn't allowed to get to know him. Everyone makes mistakes but I believe he was intentionally deceiving and that is simply unacceptable. I can't even bring myself to reach out to him... unfortunately, I don't think he is a good person. I do not believe I would be able to reach out to him in a time of need. Despite everything that I did for him. He had good things about him, but for me, and to me- he was not a good person.

In a battle of the ex's...Albert would win. Hands down. No comparision

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

orchid, advice needed or just opinion please, tw for grooming and sexual content

I was an artist, had been majority of my life. I'd draw characters and comics and whatever I or others liked and sometimes collaborated with some amazing artists. overtime though I became unconfident in my work and began to trace. From 15 to 19 I traced nearly all my work and I was rightfully called out for it last year. I lost the friends I'd made, betrayed fellow creators, and hurt others with my actions. and I haven't forgiven myself for what I'd done since.

no one knows this at all, but the biggest reason I became unconfident in my skill, despite being really good on my own given my age, was because of my groomer's. I met them when I was 14 and began to do commissions for them by the time I turned 16 and while I had my normal accounts, I had a sex art content page on the side. No one except them knew my age and the occasional mutual I'd make but for basically 14 to 19 I drew whatever they wanted regardless of comfortability.

I understand this is no excuse for my actions I more than anyone understand how horrible I was and what I did, I guess I'm just explaining because it's genuinely an intregral part to my trauma.

they'd ask me to draw fantasies for them or to make more "realistic work" because sometimes what I drew wasn't to their liking and in exchange for art they would offer to do my homework help with a test. I remember I even asked them one time why they wanted to "help" me and they literally said "I like that you're coming to me for help and that I'm someone you're dependent on. It feels good helping you like this." In addition to artwork I would send nude photos of videos of myself per request or because I wanted to be good for them.

I've since dropped them and deleted all social media accounts except tumblr just from my shame and genuine fear, I even dropped out of art school because I felt it was plain wrong to call myself a real artist. I was good and I loved the craft I genuinely still do; my honest work was considered amazing and I've been often complimented for my skills considering I'm only 20. The work I did in school was honest, not at all traced but I can't forgive myself for what I did.

Some days I think about maybe drawing again and sharing it online. I'll have thoughts like "What if I drew fanart again and shared it?" or "What if I started a comic series?" But I genuinely feel I'm undeserving and just plain unallowed to come back to the community as a creator because of my past wrongdoings. And I think it's deserved. I was a liar who stole and cheated, I can't expect things to be ok for me after that.

I'll be studying in another major entirely seperated from art and I think it's for the best. But I'm just hoping for some comfort please even if I don't deserve much of it because the situation literally is the consequence of my own actions.

Hi orchid,

I'm really sorry to hear about what you've been through and the feelings of guilt and shame you're experiencing.

It's understandable that you feel remorseful for your past actions, but people can learn and grow. You were in a vulnerable position as a young person being groomed and manipulated by someone older. The situation you described was abusive, and it's crucial to recognize that the responsibility lies with the person who exploited and took advantage of you.

It's understandable that you feel uncertain about returning to the art community. It's up to you to decide if and when you're ready to engage with art again. If you have a genuine love for art and the desire to create, consider exploring it in a way that feels safe and comfortable for you. You can start by creating art for yourself, as a form of self-expression and healing, without the pressure of sharing it publicly.

It's important to prioritize your healing and well-being. It may be helpful to seek support from a therapist or counselor who can help you process your experiences, work through your feelings of guilt, and rebuild your self-confidence. They can provide a safe and non-judgmental space for you to explore your emotions and develop coping strategies.

Please know that healing takes time, and it's important to be patient with yourself. You are not defined solely by your past actions, and you have the capacity to grow, learn, and rebuild your life. Focus on your personal growth, surround yourself with supportive and understanding individuals, and take steps towards pursuing a future that aligns with your values and well-being. I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[bonny-kookoo]

𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐝 Part 3: Self-Sabotage

Sometimes, plans are too good to be true. Sometimes, plans are exactly what they seem to be. And sometimes, plans have good intentions- but they end up causing nothing but chaos.

Tags/Warnings: mc continues to hate kook, kook hates her too but also maybe not??, Angst, enemies to ???, past regrets, miscommunication!!, Fluff?, slow burn, sugar daddy Jungkook vibes, minor age gap, there's tension but this time not the good kind

Length: ~2.5k.

-> Masterlist

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

Relationships.. aren't really your cup of tea.

With one of your exes in jail, the other one on a restraining order, and the newest hopefully still back at living with his mom somewhere in America, you've really had enough up to this point in time. You've gotten cheated on, gotten cheated on again, and guess what- cheated on once more. It's like you can't keep a guy entertained with you- and so when Park Jimin sits in front of you, asking you out on a date- your answer is pretty clear right from the start.

Or maybe it isn't really as straightforward as you'd like it to be.

"Can I ask why not?" Jimin asks, taking a sip from his coffee across from you. You'd suspected something like that might happen- after all, Jimin had never been one to hide his attraction to someone. And you were quite flattered, to say the least- he was a model after all. Any girl would feel their ego boosted to be wanted by a man like him, plastered all over billboards and displayed in numerous magazines all across the world. He's a sight to behold- and maybe that's what intimidates you the most about him.

He's similar to Jungkook in that department. There's a sense of.. not being enough on your part. Like you'd have to compete for the rest of your life if you were to try and spend it at his side.

"I.. I'm not sure. I feel like it would be unfair to you to say yes when I honestly haven't ever thought of it." You shrug, unsure how to quite explain your reasonings when you're not even sure of them yourself. "I'm not that.. I don't really know how to date properly. And right now, I'm also not looking for anything." You say, and he nods.

"Well, it doesn't have to be anything set in stone." He shrugs. "We can just spend time together, you know? Doesn't have to have any strings attached." He tries, though he deep down already knows that you'll decline.

"No, I mean, I'm not searching for anything right now." You say, and he smiles.

"Honestly figured. So you and Jungkook, huh?" He asks, and you almost choke on your cookie you've been attempting to eat, not having expected to have that name be dropped all of a sudden, especially not in that context. "Hey, you can't blame rumors from spreading. Something like this doesn't stay low-key with a guy like Jungkook at your side." He jabs playfully, though you're visibly confused.

"What the hell are you talking about?" You ask, voice raising in pitch at your complete confusion. "I'm not going out with him. And neither are we fooling around." You tell him, weirdly enough getting a little shy at the last bit of your sentence, as you remember the almost phone-sex-escapade you both have had a few weeks prior.

"Oh?" Jimin seems amused now, leaning back in his chair. "I must've misunderstood something then, last meeting I had. Staff at the company building was chattering like a cat watching a fly on the window." He says, raising his shoulders before letting them drop back down, clearly entertained at watching you squirm in frustration over whatever the hell those nosy women have started to make up.

"As if!" You scoff. "Jungkook and me, yeah, funny." You huff, slumping down in your chair, arms crossed.

"Why not?" Jimin asks, now genuinely interested. He's always wondered why you both seem to ignore each other to such a degree there's clearly something going on between the two of you, and it doesn't take a genius to see that. "I mean, you're pretty close, aren't you?" He wonders, and you don't react for a moment.

"I don't know." You say. "One moment he's super sweet, perfect guy, and then Boom! Asshole, makes me wanna gauge my eyes out." You say, a little agitated. "He makes fun of me and he's just in over his head all the time. Mister perfect, acting like I'm some sort of peasant.." You complain under your breath, making Jimin giggle across from you.

"Sounds like someone's got a crush." He snickers.

"Do not!" You bark back, feeling insulted. "It's more like a-… big brother kind of thing. I don't know. He's annoying." You try and justify.

"Huh." The older guy hums. "Sweet home Alabama~" He sings under his breath to tease you, and you kick after his shin underneath the table, almost hitting your own knee in the process.

"Shut up, park!" You say, before your phone vibrates. "God, can't I get a break today!" You almost yell, seeing that the guy you just had a conversation about was calling you. You pick it up without hesitating much however, ready to tear him a new one. "What do you want-"

"I need you to come to my office, asap. Where are you right now?" He asks, cutting you off. The tone of his voice makes you snap right out of your headspace you'd been in just seconds ago, the seriousness in it making you nervous- but you give him the location of the cafe anyways. "I'll send you a cab. I'll see you in a few." He tells you, before he hangs up, not leaving any room for you to argue.

"Mister perfect?" Jimin asks, but you don't respond to his teasing as you pull out your wallet to give him a couple of bills.

"It sounded kind of serious. Here's my cut of the bill-" You say, before putting your stuff together, laptop barely fitting into the worn out bag you carry around. "-good lord please let it just be something stupid like he got some prostitute pregnant-"

"How's that a 'just'-" Jimin argues amused, but you simply raise your arms before slipping into your coat.

"I don't know!" You tell him, taking the last sip of your hot chocolate, leaning over to kiss his cheek shortly after downing your treat. "I'm sorry I have to book it, I'll see you Friday?" You ask, and Jimin just smiles fondly, correcting the collar of your blouse for you.

"Of course." He says-

and you don't notice him look after you for a while, for as long as he can see you before you get into the cab and leave.

Well- at least he tried, he tries to comfort himself.

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

"there you are. Sorry you had to wait, the meeting lasted longer than I thought." Jungkook says, holding the glass door to his office open for you, black button up shirt undone the first few, silver watch on his wrist catching the light a little. "Come in. Did I pull you away from something?" He wonders, and you shake your head.

Whenever he's dressed like this, and in this kind of environment, it reminds you of how different you both are. You write books for a living- you don't even own formal wear like that, and it makes the age difference between you both sometimes more obvious than other times. Right now, it's pretty evident- with your simple dress and somewhat dirty boots, you look like you still study at some university, while he, dressed in slacks and all clean and mature, definitely looks his age.

It makes you feel a little.. small.

"No- well, a little, but it's fine, honestly." You shrug, sitting down on the small black leather sofa he's got secluded from his main desk as he sits down on it first, hand gesturing for you- the gesture making you notice the silver rings he's wearing today. Jungkook has always liked jewelry, you noticed. With his Numerous piercings, he's always been one to freely express himself, be it with them or his body ink you've briefly seen here and there, but never in full. "Jimin kind of asked me out, and it was super awkward, but that's not important right now-" You start, but he shakes his head, arms crossed and fabric of his black shirt straining around his biceps.

May god have mercy on you.

"It actually is. Did you say yes?" He wonders, and you look at him with confusion.

"Why's that relevant? You gonna hook me up in some fifty shades of grey kind of contract or something?" You wonder, but he doesn't seem to bite the teasing bait you throw him this time- so you drop your attempt. "I said no." You answer, and he nods.

"Alright." He says, internally a little (a lot) relieved at your answer, before he sighs, running a hand over his face. "One of those gossip websites online has leaked photos of the company event we went to. I guess you can already see where this is going." He assumes, and you groan.

"Nooo-" You whine. "Really?" He nods somberly. "Fuck me.!" You complain, and he snickers a bit to himself.

Gladly, he thinks to himself. But right now, there's not really a good moment for jokes like that.

"I'm sorry." You apologize, and he looks at you confused. "You always take me to these things, and I got so.. comfortable with it I guess I lost touch with how dangerous it has been all along for you and stuff." You mumble quietly, looking down at your knees. "I bet we can't just say we're not a couple and they'll just let it go?" You wonder, and he looks at you with a gaze you're not sure what to think of.

"What if we simply don't?" He asks. You look at him wide eyed. You wish you could read his thoughts in moments like these, when he simply offers a glimpse of what's going on in his head, but never enough for you to figure out his plans entirely.

"Huh?" You ask because of that, and he shrugs as an answer.

"What if we say we are a thing?" He asks, and in a way, you want to say no, because where the hell does he even get the idea from in the first place?

"But why?" You question him, and he uncrosses his legs, taking up a little more space as his arms unravel, hands clasped together as his forearms rest on his knees.

"It's a lot to ask, I know." He confesses. "But it would honestly help me tremendously. Mainly in getting those cheap paparazzi off my dick with their constant surveillance and need for money in order to keep silent." He reveals.

"So you want be to be your.. girlfriend so they stop following you around?" You ask, he nods.

"At it's core, yes." He tells you. He doesn't want to bombard you with anything more than that right now, well aware that too much at once can scare you off like a traumatized pet.

"huh." You hum out loud, thinking about it. Well- would it be so bad? It would also get any guy off of you as well, helping you in focusing more on your work and less on having to try and always make sure no publisher you get into contact with feels as if they have a chance to get closer to you than on a professional level. So in a way, it's beneficial for you both, isn't it? "Alright. Cool." You nod, and he looks surprised for a second.

"You sure?" He asks, and you nod.

"Yeah, I'm alright with that." You tell him, stretching your legs for a second before you lift the strap of your worn down bag back over your shoulder. "Is that all?" You ask, and he nods.

"Yeah." He offers as an answer, before you stand up and walk out the room.

Leaving him behind, unsure of what really just happened.

Unsure if you really understood what he was asking you.

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

Something you've not really thought of was, that with Jungkook now tied to your name, there was a lot of demand from you.

Not only private information (that was taken care of by him and his company basically, having taken weeks to make sure you were under the best online and offline security there is), but also your work. It didn't take long for the public to find out that you were an author- several of your novels having sold out unexpectantly overnight.

And in a way, it's a slap to your face.

You should be happy, and deep down, you are. Your works are finally reaching more people than ever- but it also makes you hate Jungkook again. Because this victory doesn't feel earned. It feels.. almost pitiful. Anything you're gonna release now will always be under the wing of his popularity, taking away any feeling of accomplishment you've been able to feel in the past.

Maybe you've not thought this through. Maybe all of this wasn't really truly worth it after all- but it's done now, no way to turn back. The only thing you can do in this moment is what you do best: hide away. Something you're a pro at, as pathetic as that sounds.

So when Jungkook calls you, you ignore it. There's no use in talking to him, and he never has anything nice to say to you at all anyways, so why bother. He's just gonna mock you or something, and right now, your ego is just too fragile to take that.

His texts go unanswered. You don't wanna know what he's got to say, you don't wanna read what he might be trying to tell you. It won't change anything.

Friday comes and goes. You just don't feel in the mood for it- rather staying in bed all day, ignoring life and even your own body because why would you care about cooking food for yourself when you could rather simply sleep the day away. Your books are selling, you don't need to rush out anything new for the time being- it'll all be fine.

Jimin asks where you are. Of course he does- he probably wants to know the newest gossip you've got, or he might be missing your snacks you bring over every time you watch a movie together. But he's got Jungkook and Tae at his house, probably. He'll be fine- he won't even notice you're not there.

Saturday goes by in a blur. You don't even remember eating anything- only a headache from sleeping the entire day away, some meds you flushed down with some water to combat it all before going to bed yet again, never changing out of your pyjamas, especially once your period hits of all things. And now? It's sunday, 6 in the morning, and you're wide awake, sitting in front of your laptop on your desk, scrolling through the massive reviews to your works online, some websites and blogs even writing full on articles about them. But it doesn't do anything. It doesn't make you feel anything.

None of those positive comments is able to lift your mood.

While he's left behind, wondering what went wrong.

[parkitaco]

isn't it so pretty to think there was some invisible string tying you to me for either elmax or byler

oooh omg ok i'm gonna cheat and do BOTH bc i've never written elmax before but this song also just has byler written all over it sooo

---

byler version

---

"Why did you ask, anyway?"

Mike blinks, rolling over and rubbing his eyes. "Huh?"

Will is lying on his back in the dark, staring up at the ceiling with a contemplative expression. His eyes flick to Mike's, just briefly, and he smiles a little. "Sorry, were you asleep?"

"I- yeah, it's the middle of the night, of course I was asleep."

"It's not even eleven-thirty."

"You know what I mean." Mike shoves his face into Will's side, flinging an arm across his torso and tugging him closer. "I'm tired. I biked all the way here in the dark."

"Yeah, to see me," Will says, sounding all too pleased with himself. "So here I am. Answer my question."

"Will, it's so late," Mike complains, voice muffled where it's pressed against Will's t-shirt.

"Eleven-thirty, Michael," Will repeats, unimpressed.

Mike groans, removing his face from Will's side in favor of glaring at him. "Okay, William. Why did I ask what?"

"If I wanted to be your friend."

Mike blinks down at him, propping himself up on one arm and watching Will's eyes trace over his face. "You want to know the reason why I asked a question when I was five years old?"

"Hey, you said it was the best thing you'd ever done! Don't act like you don't remember."

Through his groggy haze, Mike can't help but be a little endeared by the annoyed quirk of Will's eyebrows, the smirk resting faintly over his lips and the pillow creases on his skin. He dips down to kiss Will's forehead quickly, brushing a thumb over Will's jaw. "I told you," he murmurs, face hovering right over Will's. "I was all alone. You were alone too, so I just... asked."

"I couldn't have been the only one who was alone, though," Will presses. "Why me?"

Mike remembers that day so clearly. He'd spent the better part of the morning pouting and trying not to cry, secluded to a quiet corner of the classroom and wishing he didn't have to do this, that he could keep playing Uno in his basement with Nancy forever even if she was turning into a bit of a brat, lately, that he could be exempt from the ridiculous notion of hanging out with people his age, or whatever. He also remembers that all of those feelings were, ultimately, bullshit, because in reality, before Will Byers became a part of his life, Mike was terribly lonely.

So recess had come, and he'd decided he might as well take action. He'd scanned the playground, looking for people like him, people that were alone or that were wearing the same color as him or who just looked nice, even. He wasn't trying to be terribly picky. He'd seen at least five other lonely kids, sitting in the dirt or holed up on the slide or playing with their own toys in the corner. None of them seemed right. They were all too loud or too quiet or too annoying or too weird, even if Mike was and still is, in fact, weird.

Then he'd spotted the swings, and the boy on them, and when he'd tried to ration away why he couldn't go up at talk to him, tried to give in to his fear and stay quiet and lonely forever, he'd drawn a blank. He couldn't think of a reason why this boy - this boy in an old yellow t-shirt with a bowl cut like Mike's who was gazing at the clouds like they genuinely interested him - wouldn't be a good person to talk to.

So he'd gone up, and he'd been terrified, but he'd asked. And Will had said yes, and that had been that. Friends forever, or something along those lines, and somewhere in the ten years since Mike had fallen in love with him, and that too had been scary but when he tried to rationalize it, he once again drew a blank because - at the end of the day, it just made sense. Of course he would fall in love with Will. He had no reason not to.

"I... I guess it just made sense," Mike whispers now, meeting Will's eyes in the dark and quiet of his room. "I couldn't think of a reason not to."

Will smiles, brilliant in the night, and traces a finger over Mike's collarbone. "So it wasn't love at first sight, then?" he teases.

"Love at first sight isn't real," Mike says with conviction - his breakup with El had been proof of that. "But there was- a connection, I think. Like there was this- string, a bond or something, that drew me to you, and I chose to follow it. To tie the knot."

He expects Will to, like, laugh or mock his word choice or something, but Will is dead serious when he replies, "I'm glad you did."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I don't believe in love at first sight either, but I think that- it's just. Pretty, I guess. To think that there was something there, like you chose to take the first step and then from there on out we were just wrapped up in each other."

Mike grins, dipping down to kiss Will gently, warm and solid against him in the dark. "I'd happily stay wrapped up in you forever," he says softly, resting his forehead against Will's. "Even if you're an asshole who wakes me up in the middle of the night to ask about destiny."

"That is not what I asked I-"

"Will, I'm just teasing you."

Will huffs, breath warm against Mike's face, and Mike can't resist kissing him again, quickly. Will melts into it despite himself, arms around Mike's waist. "String, huh?" he murmurs.

"Sure. Or whatever else you want to call it."

"I like that just fine," Will decides, shoving his face into Mike's neck and relaxing into him, and they drift off to sleep, all wrapped up in each other.

---

elmax version

---

El doesn't know a lot about fate, or God or any premise of inevitability. She understands the concept well enough - Mike won't shut up about it, actually - he and Will tease each other about it when they think no one is listening, about swingsets and choices and unbreakable bonds, and El never really knows what exactly they're referring to but she knows it means that they love each other, and that they feel that this was inevitable.

She's not sure how she feels about that concept - it's fine for them, maybe, because they have this grand love story or whatever (at least according to Will, who rambles to her about Mike an awful lot, even if she kind of enjoys listening just because of the way his face lights up) but after having so many choices stripped away from her as a child, El isn't so sure she loves the idea of some cosmic deity deciding things for her. She'd rather take control of her own narrative.

That being said, she does get the part about being in love, and not wanting to ever conceive of a reality in which she isn't, and in that regard she supposes it's fine.

"Why do you think we became friends?" El asks now, rolling over on her bed and letting her head hang off the end, looking at Max upside-down.

Max glances up from the magazine she's been idly flipping through, a small smirk on her face. "We're not just friends, you know," she says, like she always does, and El scrunches her nose at her.

"You know what I mean," she retorts, which is true - unlike most people, Max always knows what El is trying to get across without having to hear all the words, always smiling and nodding along and supplying a word when El can't think of it, not trying to play dumb like Mike used to or interrupt like Will has a nasty habit of doing, or blink at her hesitantly and vaguely concerned like Joyce, well-meaning as she is, usually does.

Max flips the magazine shut, rising up on her elbows to kiss El's nose from her upside down vantage point, and El giggles. "We became friends because you're an incredible person and I liked you."

El widens her eyes. "We did not used to like each other, though."

"That's because you thought I was trying to steal Mike from you, which is laughable because I think I'd rather die than steal Mike from anyone, and had I been around before all that I would have told you to stop watching so many shitty soap operas."

El frowns. "I like soaps. They are romantic."

"They are, but they also instilled a weird jealousy complex in you that was totally unnecessary, so." Max smiles, tapping El's nose lightly with a finger. "Also, I never had a problem with you. I thought you were, like, ridiculously cool."

"Cool," El echoes, smiling. She likes that word - it feels strange in her mouth, but Max says it like a compliment and Max, as sarcastic and derisive as she can be, never says anything she doesn't mean. "I think you are cool, too."

"Thanks, babe."

Max goes back to her magazine, and El stares at the opposite wall as the blood rushes to her head, contemplating.

"Max?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you believe in fate?"

Max actively considers it for a moment - something she doesn't do for many people - before answering, "I don't know. I believe in connection, I think. Like a- spark, that you can have with someone, that, like, draws you to them, but I think we still have control over what we do with it. Does that make sense?"

El turns it over in her brain, lifting a hand and making the pencils spread across her desk float up into the air and bounce around the room. Max watches with the same vaguely awed look she always does, grinning. El grins back.

"'Spark'?" She asks, tapping one of the pencils against the ceiling. "Like a fire?"

Max laughs, sitting up properly and holding out a hand. El drops a pen into her hand, and she reaches out and begins tracing a pattern over El's exposed shoulder with it. "No, not literally," she says, hair tickling El's neck as she leans closer. "It's just, like. A pull. Like there's a string connecting you, and you can choose to pull them closer with it or just leave it how it is. Or cut it, I guess, but that's kind of bleak." She sits back, admiring her artwork on El's skin, and El cranes her neck to look. She can just barely make out a set of flowers and a small heart doodled there, and she smiles. Max would never claim to be an artist, but she certainly isn't a bad one.

"And you felt that? With me?" she asks, refocusing her gaze on her girlfriend.

"Sure I did," Max says, like it's obvious. "The first time I saw you you were wearing that black getup with the eyeshadow and everything and you looked so cool, and I don't believe in love at first sight or anything but I felt something, you know? And then you totally wrote me off which- hey, don't look at me like that, I didn't say I was mad!- you brushed me off and I was like wow, okay, she can take care of herself, great. And then I decided that I would win you over."

El smirks, flipping around and resting her arms on the edge of the mattress to gaze down at Max properly. "Win me over," she repeats.

"Convince you to love me," Max teases, and El reaches out a hand to brush a strand of hair out of her face.

"You are very easy to love," El murmurs as Max tilts her face to rest against her hand. "You do not think you are, but you say nice things without even trying."

"Yeah, well, 'course I'm nice to you," Max grumbles, kissing the side of El's palm. "I love you."

El grins teasingly. "I love you too. I am glad you did not choose to cut the string."

"Okay, it was a flawed metaphor, I get it-"

---

[koushisatori]

if you can't believe in others, at least believe in us

kyoutani x gn!reader

genre: as ordered: a bit of angst w a touch of comfort

warnings: one (1) big jealous idiot, miscommunication

word count: 5.4k

note: this is smth an anon asked me to do (but like...nearly a year ago, I'm not sure if anon is still there or if they remember and my dumbass deleted the ask so I just beta-ed through whatever I had but I know they called me out on enjoying jealous characters so here we go) I'm sorry, mysterious anon, I'm stupid </3 Anyway, that's that. I don't remember if reader was supposed to be female or not so I made it gn!reader (but if I forgot to change something, pls tell me so I can fix any errors c: It's also my first attempt I apologize in advance)

In the beginning, you weren't sure why your boyfriend is ignoring you

You can't remember doing something that would annoy him, nor do you remember an instant of anger in his eyes that would give you a hint about his reasoning to stay away from you

He explained early on that sometimes he just needs a day of distance because Kentarou could feel the anger simmering right under the surface, enough that something small could tick him off already, and he would hate if you were on the receiving end of this unexplained fury

Both of you also made sure to promise each other to clearly communicate, the relationship between the two of you would not last long if you're not properly telling each other what might be bothering or hurting...just in general cross a boundary

Communication probably was one of the most important aspects of your relationship

cue to the actual situation: your boyfriend avoiding you

So, Monday evening you think maybe it's this overwhelming sensation of unexplained anger and that something at morning practice ticked him off completely

But then Tuesday comes and goes, and your boyfriend had avoided you all day long, did not even bother to read your messages,

on Wednesday, you try to talk to him, but all he does is glaring at you with a look that leaves you speechless and kind of heartbroken,

Thursday is the day you're replaying everything you did on Monday, trying to find something that he could have misunderstood, yet no matter how hard you think about it…your brain won't come up with a reason that explained why Kentarou was so upset with you!

So you decide to make him talk to you on Friday

Enough is enough, right? For gods' sake, he is your boyfriend! You miss him and his strong arms that give hugs so warm that you melt right into them

You don't get a second alone with him until school ends

you practically sprint out of the school building over to the gym, knowing that he had a free hour, which means that he is probably the first person there - your only chance

There he is, sitting with his back to you, aggressively chewing on a bun filled with chicken - his usual that reminded him of his favorite dish - glaring holes into the ground

After taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you carefully aks: ''Kentaro…Ken…?'', slowly stretching out your hand, wanting to rest it on his shoulder to maybe help to soothe him a bit

he flinches instead and his heated, agitated gaze meets your eyes, making you recoil in return

''…will you talk to me, I miss you…'' you say softly, realizing how it hurt being ignored by him

''Ah, suddenly you miss me…'' he spits, narrowing his eyes ''…didn't fucking seem like it the last time I saw you…''

''Kentaro, baby, I have no idea what you mean,'' you plead, keeping your voice low to hide the desperation lacing it, confusion written all over your features

all Kyoutani does is growl, hopping down from where he's sitting while shouldering his gym bag

''...shouldn't have been so flirty with Shittykawa like that then-'' he grumbles - ''Ken, I didn't-'' you insist, but he continues ''twirling your hair, batting your pretty eyelashes at him, fuck you Y/N, if you want him, then feel free to take a fucking leave" Kyoutani cusses, not even listening to you

You shake your head, ''Kentaro, no, you totally misunderstood the situation,'' you follow up, panic seeping into your voice now that you knew what he referred to, ''I love yo-''

''Tsk'', he moves to leave

you try to take his hand but, instead of turning around, Kyoutani just rips it away from you, tucking it into the pocket of his jacket

from behind you, you hear Yahaba and Oikawa approaching (talking about Volleyball and Captains duties)

once they guessed what must have happened, they offered you their help (they both swear that Kyoutani will never ever find a ''cute s/o as you are, y/n-chan, I'm worried for my little angry pomeranian kohai'' )

Usually, you would try to talk to him, but after enduring a week of radio silence and now this treatment, you were tired of upholding something that seemed like a lost cause

you just wave both setters off and leave the school grounds, a frown plastered onto your lips and tears swimming in your eyes

Kentarou had not listened to you, did not even really look at you, and the few seconds he did, his eyes were filled with rage instead of the warmth he had usually reserved for you (and only for you)

If your boyfriend thinks avoiding you for a week and blaming you for something ridiculous without hearing you out is how you handle a relationship…maybe you would have to consider not pursuing it any longer

Which is easier said than done

The whole night you wait for a message, anything, and then all Saturday morning

you still had hope left

You get one from Yahaba, who tells you that Oikawa tried to clear up the situation as well after the reason for your fight dawned on him (Kyoutanis piss poor mood and behavior towards him a strong indicator) but Kentaro, again, just ran off

The future team captain even called you after your lackluster answer, listening to you getting the frustration and sadness out of your system

It didn't matter, right? Your boyfriend decided to unofficially call it quits by implying that your feelings for him were not genuine instead of using his mouth to talk to you and disregarding everyone involved

as if he wanted to ignore the truth as a convenient excuse to get out of your relationship

that's the conclusion your brain came up with

You softly sniffle in the privacy of your room, clutching a pillow to your chest (which has seen more tears in the last two days than in the past three years), deciding that it would be a good idea to go into the city to treat yourself

knowing that your mother has a hair-dresser appointment somewhen today, you go and announce that you would join her to finally buy the latest season of your favorite series

once there, you additionally get microwave popcorn, chocolate, and ice cream, as well as a pretty shirt you saw on a mannequin while window shopping

you feel a lot better after spending some money and ignoring the lingering sadness of your presumable break up with Kyoutani (who you love ok, it is not that easy)

In between your stops, you meet Iwaizumi and Oikawa munching on fatty burgers (celebrating your cheat days like a holiday and indulging in whatever your heart desires, is what makes it easier to stick with healthier habits the rest of the time was the questionable explanation coming from the brown-haired setter, pointing at you with a soggy potato fry)

after a moment, the setters eyes turn sad, a frown replacing the smile on his lips

he wraps his fingers around your wrist to stop you from going just yet, apologizing for being the cause of your fight and for being unable to talk some sense into him

(you assure him that it is not his fault, knowing that your friend will probably brood over it otherwise, which wouldn't be fair)

Iwaizumi adds that Kyoutani will come around and that his cooldown time is just longer than those of other people (and if not, he will give him one of his famous volleyballs to the head and use his status as only truly respected senpai to talk some sense into him) but you again decline their suggestions

after saying goodbye (and seeing Iwaizumi give his best friend an assuring gentle pat on his shoulder, the secret softy in the usual harsh ace shining through)

If Kentaro was willing...able to throw away your relationship this easily, he can't possibly really love you, and you'd accept this even if it's hard and painful

Now remembered of what you had attempted to forget about, you feel your eyes sting with unshed tears (you thought there was no possibility of you having more tears to spill, yet the impossible seemed to be the case) you look down at your phone to text your mom and frown

Kentaro 🥰: we need to talk. Kentaro 🥰: meet me there [location]

For a second, you hesitate, biting your lower lip harshly…you really want to go and talk to him but…

The tears still sting in your eyes and blurring your view reminded you of what you had gone through the whole time, and that it was his turn to finally come to you

break up or makeup, the ball was in his court now

so while walking to where your mother would be waiting for you, you begin to type

You: No.

You: I waited for you all week, even though you ignored me, and now you expect me to run the moment you choose to stop being a childish idiot?

You: if you decide to speak to me then comqjdkn

Kentarou wouldn't say he feels particularly bad. Not at all! If someone was to ask him, he would probably answer fucking peachy, what the fuck are you asking for or growl angrily. No one would bat an eye and further question him, nor guess that maybe he wasn't as great as he pretended because he missed his gorgeous better half, but…it was his fault, wasn't it?

Of course, he originally thought he had a valid reason to be upset. And if he had just spoken to you about it, everything would be solved now. Instead of being a decent boyfriend, though, his pride overtook his thinking processes once he realized that his behavior wasn't even the slightest bit justified. Not that he knew this when he saw you speaking with Shittykawa right before school. All he could see was his gorgeous s/o shyly fiddling with her fingers, conversing with a leaned forward, very involved Oikawa Tooru. He would have fetched you away from the brown-haired setter. He had no qualms about showing his possessiveness. God, Kentarou wouldn't have hesitated to growl at the tall, brown-haired boy if not for the question he heard coming from the Captain.

''Y/N-chan, how is it that you, an adorable, charming individuum, is with a brute like Mad Dog-chan? I really-'' Well, that's where he decided to leave you with the setter. He didn't need to hear your answer. Didn't want to witness an excuse or maybe the truth. If both of you were so fucking smitten with each other to flirt this blatantly, why don't you just go and cheer for him, hold his hand, and kiss his cheek goodbye? It was his choice to distance himself.

Kyoutani couldn't help the feeling of betrayal and hurt washing over him. Maybe you just used him as a stepping stone to get closer with Oikawa, and Kyoutani has been too blind to see it. He never doubted you or your relationship before, but it's not a secret how eruptive Kyoutani could be. It has always been beyond his imagination how someone so cute and sweet like you could love a person like him. Your friends thought so. The teachers. The whole school! Everyone questioned your poor judgment. And when you came running up to him, you're cheery voice calling out for him, everyone present looked at you like you grew a second head. It's the reason why seeing you with Trashykawa ticked him off so bad. It catered to his biggest insecurities and fears. He knew that all those skeptics would be delighted to see you, everyone's darling, with the schools' star setter. They all would agree that the pretty, handsome young man is a better fit than the always hostile-looking troublemaker.

While Kyoutani didn't take Oikawa seriously in most cases, he undoubtedly was one of the most devoted people Kentarou had ever met. If Oikawa wanted to get a new serve right, he wouldn't stop trying and repeating it until his legs gave in, and Iwaizumi dragged him out of the gym. When he wanted to find more advanced players to practice with, so he could, in return, give this new knowledge to his team, there was no way he would not manage to make it happen. Even if his ideas, wishes, and plans cost him blood, sweat, and tears (like getting Kyoutani to actually train), Oikawa never backed down. Kentarou had heard that Oikawa's last girlfriend dumped him because of his passion for Volleyball. Yet Kyoutani couldn't help but think that, in you, the ambitious setter would have found someone that would be able to handle it. You usually came over to watch the team when you knew that Kyoutani was there to play. You sat on the stands with your homework in your lap and a Seijoh-coloured pencil wiggling between your fingers, not bothered by the noises coming from the court. You play with your earlobe while you frown at whatever problem you came across. You patiently wait for practice to finish. Kentarou was sure that you'd be someone Oikawa would actually try for. You weren't one of his squealing fangirls, hanging from his arm on every opportunity, but his friend. You didn't pester him to take selfies with you while pushing cute bentos into his hands. When you bring food to practice, then it's for the whole team to share. If he wanted you, Oikawa would probably have to win you over and make sure that you'd stay. Courting and all that jazz. In all seriousness, Shittykawa would be a fucking idiot if not.

The dyed-blond wing spiker had been so sure that he was rightfully mad that he didn't stop to think twice before he reacted this coldly towards you. But, and this made it even worse, Kentarou knew that he was wrong the moment you asked what happened after an entire week of enduring his silent treatment. The second he heard your shaky voice and saw the tears welling up in your eyes, his brain rebooted, and suddenly he wasn't so sure of his own reasoning. You two were together for about half a year. Kyoutani - by now - was confident in his ability to identify most of your expressions. All he could decipher in your eyes was pain, paired with a need to understand, but…if he was in the wrong…it would mean that he had hurt you the whole week, which in conclusion implied that Kentarou had been the world's shittiest boyfriend. Fuck, he thought, I don't deserve y/n.

His situation didn't get any better the moment Oikawa entered the gym. The person Kyoutani thought he had a real reason to despise now tried to mend the rift between the two of you.

''Mad Dog-chan, I think you misunderstood something there. Well, no, you decided to not listen-'' The taller male says, hands gesturing wildly. While his voice still had that annoyingly cheery tone, it had something commanding hidden underneath. And oh, how Kentarou hated when someone demanded something of him, even if it was for his own good. ''Don't want to hear it.'' the blond mutters, already aggravated. The brown-haired setter resolutely puts himself in the way again. ''Oh, but you have to! That morning, Y/N-chan literally declared her love for yo-'' - ''I don't fucking care.'' Kentarou barks, not looking Oikawa in the eyes.

After another fruitless attempt to get properly into the gym, he growls and turns to leave. Already on his way to grab his stuff and take a leave, he hears Oikawa yelling. ''You answered and justified why I asked Y/N-chan to begin with!" And then louder, even though he could make out Iwaizumi trying to wrestle his childhood friend back into the gym, "APOLOGIZE, YOU IDIOT! YOU BETTER GROVEL FOR Y/N'S FORGIVENESS! THEY DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS SHOW YOU'RE PUTTING ON, AND YOU KNOW IT!"

This happened on Friday evening, and the guilt was gnawing away on him ever since. On his way home, Kyoutani had automatically taken the detour to your house. Kentarou enjoyed bringing you home (and more often than not, you pulled him inside with you, making him cuddle you!). It makes him feel like a good boyfriend, and he knew that you arrived there safely. He would never tell anybody and deny it if you ever decided to share this, but Kentarou relished in the feeling of your hand holding his all the way while going on about your day. He admired that you'd pet every cat and every dog you meet on the trip home together with him. You were perfect for him…why again did he act like this?

What caused Kyoutani's attempt to apologize - in his usual overly blunt and partly aggressive kind of way - was Yahaba, though. Both boys denied being remotely something beyond 'not really enemies'. But his future team captain was definitely one of the very few people that could and would tell him to his face that he fucked up without real repercussions. He would presumably even help Kyoutani to get it together.

After Yahaba had called you and listened to your heartbreaking rant, the setter realized that you, his friend, and his 'not really enemy' needed to talk ut out. Totally immersed in your tirade, you accidentally let slip that you couldn't endure Kyoutani's treatment any longer. That being pushed over by your boyfriend with brash and hurtful words after handling the cold shoulder was too much. That you expected Kyoutani to break up with you on Monday either way. In-person, if he had mercy on you or continue his treatment as a silent method of doing so. While you told Yahaba about your planned ''get over it-self-care'' weekend (involving tons of ice cream, movies with crying guarantee, lots of blankets, and no smartphone), the setter had already put on his jacket, shooting a message to Kyoutani.

From Yahaba: get your stupid fucking ass outside to meet me, or I'll bench you the complete season next year

Even though the wing spiker was sure that Yahaba's words were nothing but empty words, Kentarou allowed himself to accept this threat as an excuse to put his pride aside. Because, even though Yahaba annoyed him to no end - not as bad as Oikawa but still - Kentarou was also aware that you and he were friends. If someone could help him gaining your forgiveness, Kyoutani had to accept and admit that it was Yahaba. Meeting his light brown-haired teammate was kind of awkward. Kyoutani was unsure what he had to expect, though he should have seen the rough treatment coming. Yet, getting told that you, the person Kentarou was undeniably in love with, felt so neglected and hurt that you deemed this relationship to be as good as over allowed the guilt monster in his chest to grow. Shitty Oikawa was probably right ordering him to grovel and beg on his knees for you to even hear him out.

Your answer to his message was partly unlike you. Well, the last sentence. You usually were pretty forward with him to avoid miscommunication and uncalled-for moping around. And while you sometimes send keyboard smashes to express the chaos you felt, they were always in a separate message and not so…random. The text definitely meant something like ''then come to me'' but somehow, Kyoutani had an uneasy feeling about the whole thing.

Besides, he couldn't just wait till Monday and hope that you'd accept his apology! You may send him away today already, but he still had a teeny-tiny bit of hope. If he let the thoughts of him leaving you or the other way around fester in your mind for two whole days, though,…you'd probably realize that leaving him wasn't that bad of a decision. You'd come to the conclusion that all your admirers could treat you better than Kyoutani did. And he was too selfish to let you leave. Even though all he did the whole week was being self-centered and stuck up, he would be damned to begin being a saint now and let you go. That you at least were willing to talk to him was…a relief, to say the least. Kentarou hoped that this translated to you being willing to put up with him a little longer if he apologized correctly. That you're not opposed to giving him another chance to make things right.

At your house, he was greeted with darkness. Not even a single light illuminating any of the rooms he could see from his spot on your front lawn. And the ones he saw were your and your mom's most-used rooms. Your room window, your mothers' workroom, and the living room area with an adjacent kitchen. All of those rather significant rooms and the lack of light in them seemed to be a dead giveaway for Kyoutani that no one was home. Kyoutani guessed that you were probably out with your mom, glancing over to the empty spot in front of the garage.

Oh god, your mother had been the only supportive person of your relationship. Maybe it's in your family to see the best in everyone, even in shitty people like him. But if you told her about his behavior, she'd most likely not welcome him with a smile ever again, no matter if you forgave him.

There weren't many things Kyoutani could do in this situation, but it wasn't as late as nature let it on, and after a few seconds, he had decided to sit down at the front door and wait for you, hoping that it wouldn't take too long for you to come home. As if fate wanted to tell him something, the wing spiker had put on the jacket with the half-full power bank. He had worn it to the shelter when he visited it this week while distracting himself from your absence in his daily life. You had gifted him the piece of clothing, which is probably why he unconsciously had decided to wear it to everything he did after school in the first place.

Kentarou passed the time by snarling at people eyeing him for a moment too long to not be judgmental, petting the neighbors' cat wandering over to him, and watching videos. Every time he thought ''Y/N would like this'', his heart stuttered guilty.

To Kentarou, it felt like an eternity until your mother's car finally drove up the entry. To avoid your mother's potentially deadly stare, he nervously checked his mobile, realizing that he had waited for a little more than 3 hours. Yet, the wait had done nothing to soothe his nerves. They instantly spiked up again while his heart threatened to jump out of his throat.

She will hate me. Your mother would hate me, she'll hate me, she'll ha-

''Ah, Ken-chan! Good evening.'' Your mother greets him with a tired, yet still gentle smile. Oh. The blond blanches. He'd never admit it, but he enjoyed the treatment he received from your mother more than he should. Being spoken to without suspicion and receiving a warm smile every time without fail was a welcome change to his daily life. Your mother didn't listen to people trying to bad-mouth him. To her, he simply was the boy that - normally - treats her child the way a mother wished for. Even if he pulled a face as long as a fiddle.

''I didn't know you were coming, Ken-chan, or I would have messaged you…but now that you're here, maybe you can assist us out and help Y/N inside? It would help a lot.'' His gaze immediately flitted over to you on the passenger seat. With your arms crossed in front of your chest and that stubborn but endearingly cute pout on your lips, he nearly missed the tiredness your body emitted. Kentarou wanted to rush over to your side immediately but was stopped by your mother again. ''I don't know what you two are fighting about…but please talk to each other. I don't want my baby to be this sad. Especially now, and…'' she rests a hand on his shoulder, her eyes kind and comforting ''…I also don't want to miss you here, alright?'' He stiffly nodded and watched your mother carrying in plastic bags filled with various medicine packages and food.

After coming back to his senses, Kyoutani finally stumbled over to your side, practically ripping open the car door. This new perspective revealed a plaster cast wrapping your whole left leg and a removable wrist brace on your right hand. ''Bab- Y/N…what the fuck…happened?'' His honey-brown eyes continued to wander over your injuries, and with every second, he found more. Scratches and scrapes, bandaids and bandages peeking out from underneath your clothes. ''I'm so sorry,'' he whispered, hanging his head low.

All your intentions to fight his helping hand and limp over to the door by yourself disintegrated into nothing. You never witnessed such a devastated, beaten expression on his face before. Instead, you settle for ''Will you help me?''. A question asked quietly to your fingers picking at a loose band-aid edge on your arm and pressing it back onto the irritated skin.

After you loosened your seatbelt, he waits for you to carefully place your arms around his neck. It is followed by Kyoutani lifting you out of the car so gently as if he was afraid you might break. This whole situation in itself already contradicting his brash appearance and usual behavior. It would give whiplash to all the people pretending to know him. But he was always caring in his own way when it came to you. It's why you loved him after all. Because you usually knew that he loved you, too.

For a few moments, the atmosphere between the two of you felt awkwardly tense, both of you unsure how to interact with each other. The mostly blonde wing spiker breathed out a sigh of relief when you fully leaned into his chest once he stood upright, resting your head against his shoulder. A bit of maneuvering through the front door eventually lead to Kyoutani passing through the hallway and taking you to your room, where he was gently lowering you down on the bed.

It was a now or never kind of situation. For the both of you. While Kentarou was trying to find out where to begin his apology, he took a few steps back in case you wanted space until everything was cleared up.

You unconsciously helped him making a decision by impulsively grasping onto his shirt the moment he started to withdraw, stopping him in his retreating movement. Kentarou saw your lower lips wobbling, teary eyes looking up at him pleadingly.

''Please stay,'' you say weakly, which is enough for him to throw the whole thinking process away and simply sit down next to you, intertwining both your hands. ''I'm staying. I'm not leaving. Not now nor this relationship if you still want...an ''us''. The wing spiker took a deep, shuttering breath. '' I'm sorry, Y/N…'' he finally manages to say, honey eyes locked onto your linked your hands. ''I have been fucking stupid all week. 've been a fucking terrible boyfriend, the worst to ever exist.''

As if to encourage him...to show your boyfriend that his apology was not for nothing, you shuffled around until the last bit of distance between the two of you was closed. You hum, acknowledging his words while leaning your head on his shoulder.

''I didn't think you're cheating or something, …'' Kyoutani immediately assures you. There was no way he would allow you to think that he would accuse you of something like this. ''I had no reason to be jealous, but I was insecure. Let it get the best of me. Despite our promise to communicate, I was sulking. 't was easier. I'll do whatever the fuck you want for you to not give up yet…'' he says, taking his time with every sentence.

With a sigh, you squeeze his hand. ''It will probably take a lot of cuddling and attention from you...'' you say thoughtfully ''...but I forgive you…if you promise to not do this again…'' you murmur, tilting your head upward to press a chaste kiss to his jaw. ''Otherwise, I'll accept Iwaizumi-san's offer to get your thinking process restarted.'' For a moment, your voice had its usual joking edge. But you knew talking out everything was necessary. ''But, in all honesty, 'Tarou....please, never do this again. I am honest. I will not endure this a second time. When you tell me that you need a day or two for yourself then that is totally fine. If you feel yourself giving into whatever insecurity, talk to me about it. I am sure there will be an explanation or a solution but don't leave me in the dark. Don't treat me like that. I love you. Only you and no one else. But the time love can withstand straight-up ignorance by your partner is limited.''

Slowly, your boyfriend nodded, squeezing your hand to tell you that he understood. You would probably cling to him for a while but were sure that he would survive the extra closeness. Not even half a second later, his head leans onto yours cautiously.

''…and try being nicer to Oikawa-san, Tarou, he hasn't done anything to you.'' You add humorously before small giggles started to erupt from your lips. ''Also...Baby…'' you start, being interrupted by choked-up hiccups and giggles. By using your nickname for him, you take away another persistent fear of his. What he does not miss, however, is how you wince in pain before you continue, ''…who helped you put this into words? I mean…I loved it, but…,'' You leave unsaid that words usually are not his strong fort.

Biting back a smile, he frowns, huffs, and puffs…, but the way you are looking up at him, eyes shining with relief and adoration, allows him to admit defeat. He sighs ''…it's how Yahaba said I should say it…'' It usually would be an odd enough statement to make you throw yourself all over him with laugher. As a slight replacement, you squeeze his hand a bit, still shaking with suppressed laughter. ''I promise…that I will talk to you. Can't promise the Shittykawa part.'' Another soft chuckle leaves your lips before you look up at him again. ''I hope you try nonetheless. You should not let Iwaizumi-san hear you calling Oikawa-san that, though, I don't think this would turn out well for you…so...maybe stop this at least.'' Kentarou rolls his eyes at you, but in the end, he nods.

You wait for another second to clearly distinguish the two topics before you continue. ''…Thank you…for coming and finally speaking with me instead of break-'' A hand on your lips muffles your words.

''Don't say these words. I'd never break up with you,'' Kentarou grumbles, a light, uncharacteristic light pink settling on his cheeks. You stick your tongue out, which leads to him taking his hand off of your face with a surprised noise, rather dumbfounded that you had licked his hand. It gives you the chance to lean up and finally press your lips against his. ''I'm not leaving you either,'' you murmur, feeling his lips twitch upwards slightly. You decide to leave the teasing for another day.

Moving back into your previous position was enough of a hassle to hiss in pain. It brought back Kyoutani's awareness of the second problem at hand. ''What did happen to you?'' Kyoutani asks in an attempt to tamper down the excited, happy beating of his heart.

''Oh, this...uh, when I answered your text, I got driven over by a dude on a bicycle,'' you casually drop. It was kind of entertaining to watch his expressions change at an unequaled pace while processing your words. In the end, it settled into something akin to passive-aggressive worry. The way he was immediately fretting over you while cursing and cussing out the bicycle dude was his own way of caring. As you watch him retrieving the food your mother bought, while mumbling about how you're a dumbass for not paying attention to your surroundings, how he'd come over every day until you could go to school again to bring and teach you the stuff you would miss and how he would fucking murder the bicycle idiot if he ever finds out who dared to drive you over, you can't help the smile forming on your lips.

Once again, you are proven that loving him - while occasionally troublesome and demanding - was everything but wrong.

[imchoosingnottoexist]

The Sims Epilogues #1. Eyes Closed. A TMA continuation fanfic. Spoilers ahead

Statement of Yara Pendleton, regarding two strange men taken into the hospital in which she works. Statement extracted direct from subject, March 29th, 2021

Statement Begins

I've been a nurse at London Central Hospital for 5 years now. Most nights recently I've been stuck in the ER. I don't like the job but I've become so invested in it now that I really feel like I can't stop. I hate how long the nights are, so many people treat you so terribly when you work in any medical field, but especially in the Emergency Room. There hasn’t been a day I haven’t been harassed or screamed at, or whatever other terrible things people can think to do. I guess that’s what I signed up for, still, it doesn’t make the job any less difficult.

But if I'm being truly honest, I keep the job because I like to know what's happening. People underestimate how much the people around them hear when they speak, or how what they wear says about them. Patients and even coworkers will say things so loudly when they don’t think anyone is listening.

My coworkers say I'm a lurker or a gossip. But once they start talking to me I guess that doesn't really matter to them. I know sometimes they judge me for my nosiness but since I listen to them when they have problems to spew I don't think they really actually care. But I always remember what they tell me. I take it in. I don't know if they really know how much I remember, I hope they don't. Truthfully even I find my gossip collection odd at times, but I've been like this for as long as I can remember and I'm not going to stop any time soon. So it is what it is.

I've picked up some genuinely good pieces of gossip over the years. I know who's cheating on their partners, who's stealing from work. That's not to say nothing escapes my view but what I see is very valuable, at least to me. Frankly, I think some of my colleagues are genuinely scared of me at times. But sometimes fear is very helpful in the workplace so truly, I don't mind.

You see a lot of disgusting things in a hospital, and you see a lot of brutal things in a hospital. But it's rare I ever see something I would describe as "paranormal". You see, I've never been much of a believer in the paranormal, never had a reason to. Usually, it's easy to explain away whenever something odd happens. I get a bunch of crazed patients that yell of monsters, stalkers, and things that go bump in the night, but I know they're just sick and need help. That their demons are internal instead of something else stalking them.

It wasn't until just a couple of weeks ago I encountered someone I truly can't explain. It was the 25th of March, a late night. Unremarkable, the floor was quiet for the first time in what seemed like months and you just know when it's that quiet that something terrible is going to happen. But I didn't just have that suspicion that something bad would happen as one would usually have on a night like that.. no, I knew that something bad was going to happen. It's going to sound stupid, but I felt this tension in the air that was ever so slowly expanding. Like the air kept getting heavier and heavier and eventually all that tension would burst into something terrible. It scared me to think about.

It was around 10:30 when the men arrived. Two of them were on stretchers. Paramedics said it was like they had just appeared out of nowhere, the men had no identification, and they had both looked… out of place. I remember how the room felt when they came in, it was like I was in a dream. When the doors opened to let in the stretchers the air felt lighter, the tension had burst and the men were what it left. Everything felt a little less right. Like life was suddenly not what it usually was, what it should have been. These two men were not meant to be here, I knew they weren’t meant to be here, and it was as if the world knew too.

The first man immediately caught my attention. Despite all the investigating I've done to him over the past several days… I still can't tell you what he looked like. He had been taken in for a stab wound in his abdomen. The blood soaked into his clothes but stopped flowing by the time he arrived. As he was wheeled closer to me almost immediately I was hit with the smell of fire and gas. He smelled as if he had been caught in a natural gas fire, but his body lacked any burns indicative of such a disaster.

I remember he had scars all over his body, little pockmarks like he had been bitten by hundreds of bugs, they made me feel itchy underneath my skin. Looking upon them for a split second I felt the hordes of tiny creatures inching their way under my skin, and it hurt terribly. I felt evil behind those pockmarks, a crawling, rotting evil. One that I think could’ve corrupted me if I let it.

I kept searching him and I found that there was an old, deep scar on his throat. I couldn't tell you how I knew, but I knew it was from a knife. When I looked at the scar I knew that it was from an attack, I could see the rage that went into it, the brutal sharpness, and… I could feel the man's fear… I felt my heart beat faster when I saw it.

One of his hands was burned heavily, and the sight of it made me recoil. In a moment my entire body began to feel uncomfortably hot, like standing near a fire for too long. There was a terrible heat that came off of it even though it had obviously been there for a while. I don't know what could've caused it, in all my years I hadn't seen anything like it, it looked like a candle that had been chucked into a fire, no situation could've done that and only burned one hand. I didn't dare to touch the thick melted scars that coated it.

The second man is even harder to remember. There was nothing defining about him at all, other than the expression of sadness cemented into his face. I looked at him for no less than 20 minutes and I still don't know what he looks like. Thinking about him fogs my mind, clouds it. He was cold… so cold that the air around him became colder with him in it. He was much colder than he should've been, the air outside was temperate, leaning on warm.

The cold that came off of his body hurt. Not a skin-deep frostbite cold, but a cold inside my heart, a deep cold that hollowed out my insides to make room for painful emptiness. I started crying when the cold hit. I don't know how long I stood there for, it couldn't have been more than 2 minutes. But that moment felt like an eternity, I just stood there and cried, and the sight of him made me so terribly sad I couldn't bear it. I only snapped out of it when he was pushed out of my sight.

The men were admitted immediately. But besides their unconsciousness, they weren't injured in any way that would actually kill them. Before I knew it they had been wheeled out of my sight. The sudden normalcy was quite startling, to feel so overwhelmed by emotion and then to feel nothing at all. I actually started feeling uncomfortable with the silence, I needed to know what was happening.

The paramedics said that when the men were found the person that had called them was still at the scene, staring intensely at the men's bodies. Like they were having a staring contest with something no one else could see. They said it was like a dream, a situation weirder than one they had ever been in before. And it wasn't unexplainably weird to them, it just felt odd.

I didn't sleep the next night. I went online to start researching these men. Seeing if I could dig anything up. There was nothing. These two hadn't existed up until the point they were found. I spent hours on hours and still found nothing. No faces, no names. I thought such an odd pair would have at least something about them online. But I got zilch.

That day I decided to see if I could find anything on their bodies. By the time I got to the hospital, they had been put in gowns. The room had taken on the same look that the men had when they first arrived. Like it wasn't quite real… like it didn't belong… like it came from somewhere else.

The pockmarked man's stab wound had already almost fully healed. I pried his eyelids open to test his response to light but when I opened them… it looked as if he had been blinded and then healed somehow. They were milky white with specks of color seeping through. I could tell there was still something behind them. I didn't have to run any tests. When I looked at those pale empty eyes, I could tell something was staring back at me. He knew I was there, and he stared into me deeper than any other pair of eyes I'd seen.

After he looked at me his bug bite scars began to pulse and throb, I could make out shapes under his skin beginning to squirm before they were pushed back down. The scar on his throat went from a light pink to red. His burnt hand started to produce a terrible vicious heat and the skin began to melt again as it seemed to have done before.

I backed away in shock but instead hit the other man's bed. The man's body was cold to the touch. It wasn't the cold of a corpse, I knew that cold well. It was the cold of a person that had been left alone and lost the energy to make warmth anymore. It was a sad, effortless cold and when I touched him, I felt the freezing cold pulse through my body and into my core. The cold struck deep into my heart and fogged my mind. I don't really know how long I sat there, but the cold gave me such a terror I can't describe. My heart and mind were suffocated in his freezing fog.

When I finally backed away from the bodies I began feeling like I was being watched. I looked behind me to see if anyone was there but there was nothing. The room was the same as when I first entered. I could sense it, that in the corner or behind my back was a pair of eyes consuming the pain I had been caused. I had to leave after that, I couldn't take it anymore.

The police were no help in finding out who the Joe Bloggs were. When one of the other nurses called the authorities it was like they ignored the bodies completely. They asked basic questions but when the police left they stopped talking to us about them at all as if they had forgotten about the bodies overnight. And of course, I was the only one of my colleagues that was actually ever around them. Everyone else avoided their room, and when I brought the bodies up they tried to change the topic. Just two homeless drifters, they would say, or just a few more people off the street. They had this shake in their voice that told me they were lying to themselves and they knew it. These two aren't normal. I know they aren't normal.

I've started feeling watched even when I'm outside of the hospital room. Sometimes it gets so bad I have to look over my shoulder. When I'm walking down the street, or getting groceries, or even in my own home I feel eyes staring down at me. Sometimes in the fleeting seconds when my eyes are moving to look behind my back I can see the smaller man in my periphery. I can see the pale flesh of his eyes. I can feel them staring. I've become more and more reclusive. Shutting myself in my home when I'm not at work, and when I'm at work I'm in the room, staring at the men. Feeling the terror that comes off them.

They still haven't woken up. I don't know if they ever will. But I can't be satisfied anymore. I have to know who they are. I don't think they'll stop watching me until I do.

Statement ends

Check me out u/imchoosingnottoexist on Reddit. @mx_gray on TikTok

Special thanks to mcspookee, the_real_odditycommodity, mymoms1stchild, and spaceheck on TikTok for proofreading and brainstorming

[tojikai]

I have never felt such negative emotions towards Satoru nor have I ever felt such affection for Geto. How did you do this to me? 🥹

I can't help but laugh at Gojo's relationship with Rie. Every touch, every intimate moment that they have together and yet his mind is always thinking back to y/n. It's absolutely hilarious. You got what you wanted but you'll never be truly happy. And honestly the only person he can blame is himself. I genuinely cannot express how happy I am with his suffering. He's lamenting about what he did and I'm just sitting here like that's rough buddy cry about it.

After this chapter I no longer think Rie is naive or dense. At this point this is manipulative behavior. She saw that Gojo wasn't in a good emotional state and used it to push him over the edge and straight into a depersonalization episode. She also definitely does not care about what she did and how it affected y/n. She really just wants to get y/n's forgiveness so that she can further her relationship with Gojo. And later on when it shows how she ever so conveniently works with your mother at the newest branch of their company just doesn't sit right with me.

I'm usually a huge sucker for redemption arcs. Seeing someone make changes in their life to atone for whatever they've done really pulls at my heart. But Gojo is just so selfish. (He also cheated and I just can't forgive a cheater. You're a grown man, have some self control.) Sure he feels bad for what he's done to y/n but he's not really showing it by his actions. He only wants forgiveness from y/n so that he can feel better and continue with his new relationship with Rie. Not only did he dump y/n out of nowhere but he flaunts his new girlfriend in front of her, and pretend like they're on good terms, and not tell her about how he was unfaithful in. Like not even some basic human decency? You really had to go to that party and your girlfriend just had to come with you 🙄. You still could've said no and you chose not to go.

You both can feel sorry all you want. Cry me a river and go drown in it. I'm done with both of them. They are still trying to live out their highschool melodrama while everyone else has to suffer the consequences of their actions and now that they've finally awoken from their pipe dream the only thing that they have left is one another and the rubble from all of the destruction that they caused.

"Whatever happened…is just a challenge, an obstacle for our relationship." You mean like how you were an obstacle for Gojo's previous relationship? I mean we all saw what happened with that. But you do you I guess.

We were so close 😭. Y/n honey you should've let Geto get at least one a couple of punches in before stopping him. All I ask for is a fight. I want violence for all of the pain I've had to go through.

"You looked at them as you thought of how Rie could so effortlessly give him what he wanted, yet here you had to spend years smoothing and furbishing all your sharp and rough edges for him. You looked at them as you realized that she was the one for him, and you were just another stepping stone along their way to each other." This entire paragraph was just painful. She made so many positive changes in her life for the man that she loved and yet it just wasn't enough for him. I don't care what happens to those two hoes any longer I just hope that y/n is happy.

I have no words for that ending. Idk if I should feel more scared or disgusted for everything that just happened.

Mine is a really fitting title for this chapter. Rie is definitely grasping at straws to save her relationship that was doomed from the start. Gojo has finally realized that he lost the best thing that happened to him and has resorted to harassing y/n and continuing to pursue her because he feels like he has the right to now after everything that he's done. They both are losing something important to them but it's no longer theirs to have.

I remember you said that the story was going to have 7-8 chapters in a previous ask which means that we're so close to the end. I'm so excited to see how this all ends.

I wish you well and I hope that you're staying safe wherever you are 😊.

oooh wow i love how you pointed out rie's words during that car ride. satoru was literally in shambles at that time and she's the only one that he has. her words easily impacted his thoughts and his subsequent actions :(( your interpretation of the title was amazing, both of them can't have what they truly want: rie can't have satoru's whole heart no matter how hard she tries and satoru not being able to bring back what he and yn used to have :(( he's gonna have a hard time earning her again. oh and i changed pm to 9 chaps in total, with the epilogue included !! anywaysss thank u so so much for this, i love reading your analyses, they're always on point !! please take care of yourself as well and i hope that you're having a good day~ <33