#i guess it depends on whether you think vampires have the ability to change but

[jaypentaghast]

Good and Bad art, huh. *rubs hands together*

During the Renaissance a lot of rules for art were created, and to achieve mastery artists had to learn how to replicate the world as we see it through our human eyes (and thus laws of perspective were born, human anatomy was studied, etc). This still continues to this day in many circles, which is why art is often judged by how well it mimics reality. This is human-imposed.

Marius had these technical skills, for the time period he was in. I think he solely can't replicate Armand because he either doesn't want to or because it's... a painting not actually depicting the actor.

The showrunners chose the artwork made by Marius because it was already in the Louvre catalogue and apparently it was the one that most resembled Assad? I can't see it either but, yeah :/ (Marius's quite racist too I've heard? I'm not sure, I don't know this character very well, maybe they'll make it intentional?)

Also he may be a total dick but that painting in Dubai is SICK. Here's the link to the full thing.

Edit: a lot of what we consider good art isn't innovative, and a lot of innovate, good art tries to not depict anything.

As for Lestat's songs, they are made by a very talented composer and are deemed good in universe, as well.

Nicki's song and Come to Me are beautifully written songs that centre emotions I'd personally say are very human. And you have your own opinion of Long Face, which is valid! But even "Long Face" is good in that it achieves what it intends. It's written to be campy and fun. Again, it's ok if you don't like it, but it's supposed to be a catchy tune that has an in-universe purpose.

But the fact of the matter is that we know Lestat has the knowledge to make more complex music and his songs are liked by people.

I don't know if Armand's plays are "good" or "bad" since I know next to nothing of The Theatre™, still they attract a small crowd. I think they are simply something that Armand enjoys and they are... meant to serve a purpose 💀

Besides there's the thing, he tried to make something innovative... maybe like a human would?

So, to your other point. Vampires don't completely lose ties with their humanity, that's a big theme in the show. They are the most human of monsters. They struggle so much because there's still a part of them that clings to that human side but they can't embrace it fully because it would mean facing their own failing moralities.

A big part of the genre when it comes to monsters is seeing the humanity in them, seeing yourself in them, otherwise King Kong is just a big monkey who destroys a city because he's big and a monkey.

REGARDLESS, in technical terms: they are good at their art.

And you've heard it before but here it goes again: art is subjective. You can like it or dislike it but what makes even human art good or bad? That it's made by humans? What if Vulcans existed and made art? What about any other sentient alien? Aren't vampires very much alike to sentient aliens?

Louis' photos are deemed "bad" because they do not achieve that which in that particular period of time was considered desirable.

If you watch the episode you can see that the art dealer guy isn't asking for anything innovative, he shows Louis photos of what he wants to see in a photograph. There's already a precedent, and to break that mold means to face a lot of criticism.

You are usually adviced to learn the fundamentals before you can find your own style. (It's good advice in today's world! But why would ancient Egyptian artwork need anatomy or perspective as we learn it today? Their art didn't represent reality as we see it, that's not what they wanted to achieve. They had their own set of rules to learn and their own symbolism to adhere to.)

Louis could have improved if he wished, he could have shaped his photos in the way he was told to because he's immortal and has all the time in the world. But Louis doesn't take the criticism very well and he chooses not to move forward with that.

"They're equally good and bad", on a technical level and in context, not really. That's where the critique from that guy comes from and why those other dudes had more success.

But selling is a very capitalistic interpretation of success (which aligns with Louis honestly)!!! And art is subjective!!! And you can like whatever you like!!!

I've seen people try to make the claim that lestat, armand, and even marius were good at their art forms, and it was just louis that sucked at his chosen art form.

are we reading/watching the same series?

vampires are bad at art. they can't do art. art is a human trait, and they are no longer human. their capacity to make meaningful, innovative art has been severed, as penance for the dark gift. lestat's lyrics are cringe, marius can't accurately capture the likeness of his muse (i.e. WHITEWASHES them), and armand makes plays/musicals like...that. their art forms come with a thick layer of ignorance. there are certain aspects of their art that are good; lestat's voice, armand's drama, marius technical skill, etc. but the emotion and humanness of art that draws us, humans, to it, is gone. not for their lack of trying, necessarily. they do try. they just...can't.

in the same breath, we can argue that louis wasn't good at getting the right 'moment,' but louis was successful in capturing people that meant something to him. claudia, armand, his victims, etc. that was his goal. he achieved that. so. they are all equal parts good and bad at their chosen art form, such is the consequence of being a vampire.

[morievna]

BSD 108 – Will DoA arc be like Avengers Infinity War & Endgame?

Hello~~~

Omg this chapter was sooo delicious – me Fyodor stan having time of my life xD His performance and his final words mocking Sigma was 10000/10 – he is truly fascinating and complex villain, I love him xD

OK, let’s get serious XDD

For some time I was wondering how Asagiri intends to finish this arc... Everything indicate that it will end soon, but at the same time given how OP Fukuchi and Fyodor are in their respective fields – some deus ex machina for ADA to win would be unsatisfactory to me honestly. Initially I thought that Bram or Aku will take over and regain control of all vampires and stop Fukuchi, but… after this chapter looks like there is no time for that xD

So I think DOA’s plan won’t be stopped at all, but they will achieve what they want just like Thanos in Avengers Infinity War.

By this I mean that DOA will succeed and create temporary reality – first using One Order to destabilize current world and then using the Book to create new one without abilities. Symbolically, destruction and rebirth always go hand in hand and you can’t have one without another.

Then we will get time skip and Endgame equivalent – our characters living in new world and getting that something is wrong and need to be changed. Maybe reality without abilities would not be so peaceful, who would have guessed that xD Also maybe there will be some rip-off effect of changing reality or some enemy will appear, who guards canon timeline xD Possibilities are endless – it just depends on what Asagiri has in mind and what story he wants to tell.

After all, the core of the story is that abilities are not source of evil and are just part of everyone’s self as projection of fear/greed/anger/and so on. Though world without abilities would be tempting to some characters, which abilities were partly source of suffering - like to Atsushi, who was hesitating whether DOA plan should be stopped. But still, negative traits are still part of everybody and they just need to be balanced by good ones and choices to be better person.

Other random thoughts related to chapter:

Fyodor’s seizure to words ‘help me’ didn’t look fake and it reminded me of how N tried to take control of Verlaine in SB. But I guess it was just temporary and Fyodor regained control and used it to fool Sigma. Ofc it can be that he faked all - we will see if there is more to it or not. Btw I still believe that Fyodor’s backstory is akin to Verlaine or Chuuya – that he was tampered artificially by military to get powerful ability and he started to resent world and abilities because of that. Personality disorder would be indeed cliché and it was already done once in 55 Minutes LN, so I hope that Asagiri has something more interesting for Fyodor in store.

Gogol where are you 👀 I wonder if he is author of the note and that he simply wanted to sabotage Fyodor xD he is character with much potential, I hope he wasn’t just in this arc to set up duel between Dazai and Fyodor in this arc

Me Bram confusion😵 previous chapter pretty set up Bram rejecting passivity and trying to fight for Aya’s future. But this one kinda backed out of this, so I am not really sure where his arc is leading to for now xD but maybe some heroic act later on

Though depending on how things will go - self-sacrifice will suit Fukuchi or Mori too as a way to undo their wrongdoings. Again, possibilities are endless.

Fukuzawa’s state – still I would say it is 50/50 given how healing abilities work whether Asagiri needs character to live or not. Nonetheless, I was expecting his death for a while and it is more plausible option for story sake – Ranpo just needs some character development and Asagiri often use mentor’s death for that. Imo Kunikida as next ADA director was red herring and Ranpo fits better for that role given Agency’s orgin.

Btw i don’t think Sigma will die.

Ofc, it is just speculation and I am not 100% sure that story will go that way, since BSD tends to be so unpredictable. But imo Asagiri didn’t recently mention for no reason that he was inspired by Avengers and that ideally he wants one more season for anime too xD

Thanks for reading and have a nice day 💖💖

[panicartist]

Stein at the movies Pt. 2 “Concessions” (drawfee character fan fiction)

A brief and whimsical fanfic in 4 parts about Jacob’s character Stein from this drawfee video Part 1  When Stein arrived at the theatre they saw Leigh, who had arrived early, leaning casually against the wall by the ticket machine. She was wearing a pair of distressed stonewashed baggy jeans, and a band t-shirt of some obscure indie rockers. Her curly black hair formed a loose mullet, with the sides cut back just enough to show several piercings (gold, of course - a vampire would never be caught dead wearing silver. It just doesn't fly in monster social circles). Stein only realised how tense they had been when they felt a wave of relief settle over their body. I don't know what I was so worried about, they thought, but I'm so glad it's Leigh standing there, and Fritz is nowhere to be seen. The hairdo Stein had picked out was just about the opposite of Leigh's, with more length in the front than the back, though only by a little. They had spent far too long in front of the mirror trying to decide whether they still looked femme enough with short hair, long legs and muscly arms, and they picked out some larger eyes to balance out the look. "Oh hey, Leigh!", Stein greeted their date with enthusiasm. "Oh, is that you, Stein? You look different to your picture." Leigh's brow furrowed, either in confusion or disappointment. "I especially wasn't expecting you to be so... tall..." Stein stooped their shoulders to compensate - with their leg extensions, they were nearly half a foot taller than Leigh. "Well it comes with the territory of being a reanimated amalgam of several small pieces of several different corpses. Sometimes I look different than other times. It depends what mood I'm in. But it's what's inside that counts, right?" Stein hoped they didn't come off as too defensive. "You don't think it's a little vain? We can't all change our bodies on a whim, you know." Leigh's laugh sounded like it should have belonged to a Disney villain. But was it the manipulative laughter of a tentacled sea witch or the cold, callous laugh of a fur loving fashionista? Either way, she had gone straight for the kill with that comment. "Well I-... I was just-..." Stein was a little taken aback. Actually, they were a lot taken aback. They literally stepped back a few paces just to keep their balance. "You were just hoping I'd stroke your ego and tell you how great you look. Wow, what big muscles you have," Her tone of voice was mocking, but when she play acted the loving girlfriend she was almost too believable. She reached out her arms and gently caressed Stein's bulging biceps. Stein could put up with a lot on a first date, but this was pretty hard to hear. They started thinking that maybe they had gone too masc after all... "So... date cancelled?" Stein guessed. Wrong. "Oh you won't get out of it that easily. You're paying for the tickets. Anyway, I need to get some good pics if I'm hoping to make Terry jealous." So it’s a revenge date? Not exactly the kind I was hoping for, Stein thought to themself, but at least the weight's off my shoulders to make it a good one. The two of them decided to see a slasher horror where the murderer had an uncanny ability to teleport between bodies of water, (mostly bathtubs, going by the posters). Stein complained that they had seen it before, but apparently that wasn't the point of a movie date anyway. The two of them sat at the back of the theatre - not so that they could canoodle or anything, but just so Leigh could take photos of the two of them without the staff noticing she had a camera. No doubt she was sending the pics to 'Terry,' whoever that was. Stein pretended to be super engrossed in the inane car and perfume adverts rather than humour whatever it was Leigh was up to. But just as the last advert finished playing and the lights were dimming, the theatre door creaked loudly open, and a familiar face walked in... It was Fritz, only he wasn't observing Stein at all. In fact he was putting a lot more effort into observing the stud muffin on the other end of his arm... To be continued... Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

[cyberaxolotl]

Tricks Over Treats

two versions woo hee

and then the writing piece to go along with it

“An Alternate Desire”

For an all popular DJ, he had a lot more to know about him than what was known to the public, some of which stayed shrouded in mystery to even his boyfriend and closest friends. One of the things he did make very clear to anyone who saw him around that time of year was that he was a HUGE fan of Halloween. Spooky jack-o-lanterns, sweets, costumes, he still thoroughly enjoyed it, even as an adult. He loved remixing classic Halloween tunes to add a more techno vibe to them, and that wasn’t going to change any time soon. And finally, he loved the scares; he was willing to be a bit sick around that time of year with his jokes, as anything scary was widely accepted and usually expected.

Especially not now, when there’s a Halloween party for all the musicians in Rhythm Heaven to attend, as well as any plus 1’s they might wish to have with them. Hosted by the rap men (obviously) and having as many different types of music as you could think of playing one after the other in the main hall, it was going to be a great party to have a good laugh. And for everyone to see any friends they had made since the Battle Of The Bands.

DJ Yellow, of course, had Blue with him. While his boyfriend wasn’t the biggest fan of that scary time of year, he still enjoyed talking to some of the others and seeing them all happy.

“I need to put my costume on in the car, but I’ll be inside in just a moment!” DJ Yellow said, nudging his partner while they were in the entrance hall.

“…Why didn’t you just put it on while we were at the apartment?” Blue asked, turning around. His costume itself was rather plain, he was just dressed as a vampire with a little bit of fake blood on his chin, but he was perfectly happy with that. It was one of the few times of year when he’d go out with his dreadlocks down, too.

“Cause! I wanted it to be a surprise for you too!” Deej gave a quick finger gun, before slipping out the door. His boyfriend sighed, feeling only mildly inconvenienced that he’d need to be alone at a party for a few minutes, and moreover very anxious. He never was one for direct social interaction.

As he walked into the main hall, he was immediately addressed. “Heeey, Blue!” A happy sounding, higher pitched voice called out to him, and he immediately knew who it was. “Where’s Yellow?” B.B. Rocker asked him, standing shorter than him and only around his chest height.

“Yellow’s in the car putting his costume on. Chances are, he just forgot to put it on at home.” He replied, looking down at his friend. They wore a costume that was… on the stranger side, but not out of character for them. It was an orange-white tabby cat suit with a denim dress put on over it, a pair of matching cat ears sitting in their ginger hair. They looked rather cute, if Blue’s bisexual ass could say so himself.

“Ah, so did J.J. He’s getting changed in the bathroom.” They turned away, looking down another hallway in the back of that room.

Blue sighed. “Oh boy…”

“What?”

“J.J.’s here, Yellow’s gonna be here soon. Chances are sometime in the night that is not going to end well.” He folded his arms, glancing away. There were certainly a lot of people there, like MC Adore and her love posse all in matching costumes, the Pop Singer Yui in a cutesy zombie outfit, and apparently even the rap women had managed to slip in, as Rosebud and Sapphie were happily talking to a trio of ghosts. What stood out to him, though, was the fact that the rap men were nowhere to be seen. If they were hosting that gig, they should’ve either been in the entrance hall greeting people, or in the main hall talking.

“Oh, you’re right. Guess we’ll just have to hope they don’t directly cross paths and say something shitty to each other, huh?” B.B. sighed as well, holding the back of their neck.

“You know it’s more likely for J.J. to say something shitty than for Yellow to. Yellow’s not an asshole, he’s just a…” Blue went quiet as he lost his words.

“…A snarky asshole?”

“That.” He motioned in confirmation to them. He looked back over at the rap women, noticing that the Big Rock Finish ghosts were leaving. “I’m gonna go ask the rap women where their brothers are, if Yellow comes in, tell him I’ll be right back.”

“Alrighty!” With that, he walked away, leaving B.B. by the entrance.

As he got closer to the snack table, he was able to tell what Rosebud and Sapphie were wearing as costumes. They were matching, as expected from the two of them, and had gone for a western theme. Rosebud was dressed as a saloon dancer, a crimson skirt falling to the back of her ankles and a corset tied around her waist. It also seemed that she had taken the opportunity to wear something only a bit more revealing than her usual outfits. Sapphie was dressed as a cowgirl, hiding her eyes in the shadow of a ten gallon hat, and wearing open bottom pants. The two certainly matched, but had their own ways of doing it, the mutual color palette between their costumes tying it together.

“Excuse me, girls?” He asked, and the two turned over to face him.

“Oh, hi Blue.” Sapphie humbly waved at him, smiling. “Do you need something?”

“I don’t, but I want to ask- where are your brothers?” The two ladies' expressions tensed.

“Jasper and Goldie? Uh…” Rosebud’s eyebrows furrowed. “…I don’t know, actually. Sapphire?” She looked up at her girlfriend.

The taller woman shrugged. “I haven’t seen either of them since they left the recording studio, but they’re probably somewhere around here. Sorry, Blue.”

“Hm.” Blue looked skeptical, glancing behind him. “Alright then. I need to go back to B.B., you two have fun.” He turned around, his dreadlocks nearly whipping him in the face.

“Bye-bye!” Rosebud said as he walked away.

When he got back over to his rock student friend, they looked confused. “Is something wrong, B.B?” He asked, and they turned to him.

“No, no, nothing. Just… JJ is taking an awful long while to put his costume on. He went in just before you arrived.” They put a hand behind their head, “We’re supposed to be a cat and a dog, so he might be struggling with the suit or something.”

“Now that you mention it, if Yellow is taking this long to put it on, then he really should’ve put it on at the apartment-“

As if on cue, the door opened, and DJ Yellow slid in overdramatically. Since nobody noticed him except BB and Blue, he got up in one quick motion, turning over to them. “Hey guys!” He said happily, walking over. His costume was made of… really dark colors, something completely out of character for him. It was all black with a dark red cape that made his neck completely covered, looking completely out of place while paired with his unaltered hair and headphones. For reasons neither of them could decipher, he also carried a lit jack-o-lantern.

“Hey Yellow..?” BB raised an eyebrow, giving a short wave.

“…” Blue spent several seconds trying to decipher what his lover was wearing, before sighing. “Yellow, what are you supposed to be?”

The DJ walked over and leaned against his taller counterpart’s arm as though he was trying to lean against his shoulder but was just too short to do so. “A surprise.”

“That’s what you said when you were putting ON the costume.” The sarcastic remark made Yellow chuckle.

“Yes, but what I’m gonna do in this costume is also a surprise.”

“Just tell us what the costume is, Deej!” The rockstar leaned in, and mysterious refusal after cryptic refusal soon descended into laughter and casual conversation. It was rare for Yellow to oblige to interact with BB, but Blue was glad that they could get along on a night like that.

But… he still couldn’t downplay it.

Something was wrong.

Or off.

Yellow didn’t sound like himself, nor did his mouth follow his words. His mouth had a delay compared to his words, as though his head and his voice box were working as two separate parts rather than as the same body. His voice sounded less like his smug and casual self was talking and more like some kind of modulation, as though a robot with his voice was reading from a script and trying to sound like a person.

Blue chalked it up to one of two things. One idea was that the tragedy striking Heaven World had hailed itself down to Earth World and struck the man right before him- they were called Alternates, and they took the places of people, making themselves look completely like them- except they had the ability to do things that were biologically impossible, like rip their head off and live, or be engulfed in flames and come out without a scar. Both of those things were examples that Heaven World had given out across the entire land, as they were things they had tried to do to kill Alternates. So far, though, the only way discovered to kill an Alternate was to stab it in the third eye, which appeared somewhere on the body and was usually a spot like the arm, neck, or leg.

What Alternates did with people was unknown, but all that was figured out was the disappearances of many, many real people, and the replacement and spreading of fake versions.

DJ Yellow was either an alternate… or pulling a sick joke and pretending to be one. It wasn’t far fetched to expect him to pull a downright awful joke like that at a Halloween party, so Blue shrugged it off like nothing, knowing that he was probably the only one at that party who paid attention to news from Heaven World. Considering that the DJ hadn’t started acting weird like that until they HAD reached the party, it seemed more logical than just immediately assuming the person before him was fake.

A few hours passed. Music played, fatty and sweet food was eaten, and musicians and their plus 1’s spoke to one another. Only a few minutes after their conversation had happened, the rap men entered the main hall from the back, dressed in matching costumes that looked like zombies. It depended on the person whether or not watching them question how the fuck their sisters had gotten in was entertaining or not, but the girls weren’t kicked out either way.

Everything seemed to be pulling together finely, until…

JJ and Yellow hadn’t seen each other at all that night, until at one point, the DJ was asked to get an alcoholic drink from the kitchen. The alcohol wasn’t out freely at the snack tables, just to make sure nobody accidentally drank liquor or beer over dyed punch, so people would usually ask their partner to get a drink for them from the back.

JJ was returning from the back hall just as Yellow was descending down it, and it seemed the rockstar couldn’t resist a small remark. “And what are you supposed to be?” He said as the two were about to cross paths.

DJ Yellow stopped in his place, a cocky smirk on his face. “The headless horseman, obviously.” He held up the jack-o-lantern, holding it in front of his head.

“You have a head, DJ.” The other musician glared, raising an eyebrow.

There was a sudden tension in the air as the two realized they were alone in that hallway, and the door to the main hall was completely shut. “You think so?” Yellow turned his head and raised an eyebrow. Before JJ could even say anything-

He thrust the jack-o-lantern backwards.

It slammed into his head and he fell backwards, the lit candle squishing against his face and setting his hair on fire, hot wax falling onto his skin. JJ was stunned silent as he watched DJ Yellow’s body stand up without his head, leaving the smoldering wax and flesh on the floor. “Isn’t this a funny costume, JJ?” All of the remnants of his original voice were replaced by the whispering, fake voice of an alternate person.

“Wh- wha- what the fuck-?!” The rockstar couldn’t scream, he could only let out hushed curses. What he saw didn’t feel real in the slightest. As the other man stood up, he could see that the place where his head and his neck had separated held no arteries or bones, but only one bloodshot yellow eye. Blood leaked down his neck as his head smoldered in flames, melting as though it in itself was made of wax.

DJ Yellow stood back up. He turned around and picked up the pile of wax, human flesh, and pumpkin flesh, shaping it back together with his hands. “The look on your face- I don’t think I’ve ever been more entertained!” He laughed, “You’d never believe how long I’ve been waiting to pull that trick. I love being in the body of someone who finds jokes funny!” With that, he put his head back on his neck, tying his cape carefully so that the blood of his neck was veiled.

He walked right up to the rockstar’s face, leaning close.

“Be lucky this isn’t Heaven World.”

so yeah there’s your “yellow becomes a fucking cryptid” writing piece lmao

[sakamakisaywhat]

hi! it's my firs request on this blog 🙈. could i request some headcanons of the S family with a s/o who is like a rare type of hybrid, like a mythology creature. basically, thwir s/o being a chimera hybrid^^"? if so, thanks in advance

SHU

- Shu’s not one to focus too much on things like race, especially since he finds it so hard to keep track of all the different demon ones as it is, but he’d definitely want to know more or less what you were - He’d be fascinated in particular with your odd anatomy: if you had wings or a tail, that would get Shu interested for sure - “A different race? That’s interesting, I guess. Do you go into heat? Is that why you’re always so perverted?” - He wouldn’t really question how you being a chimera hybrid is possible, since he’s seen much stranger things before - Ultimately Shu would probably leave your species mostly unspoken about unless absolutely necessary - it’s too troublesome to pester you with questions about it constantly 

REIJI

- Reiji would definitely be interested in your species from a scientific or biological perspective - He’d want to know all about how your body functions, what kind of abilities you have, whether you’re physiologically different from a human or a normal chimera... you’d probably have to tell him to stop with the questioning if you ever wanted a moment of peace! - Reiji wouldn’t hesitate to remind you that no matter what, vampires are the superior race, even if your talons could probably shred him apart in an instant - If you don’t want all manner of strange tests performed on you, you’d better keep your distance or stop bringing it up - “It is most interesting that our father would present us with a bride like this. Tell me, which of your parents was the chimera? How did you come to be? This information could be most valuable. May I take a blood sample?”

AYATO

- Regardless of what animals exactly your chimera side is made up of, Ayato will think you being a hybrid is, as he puts it, “cool as fuck” - “So what else can you do, Titless? Fly? Breathe fire? Are you as strong as Yours Truly? Can you slay all my enemies?” - You’ll have to drill it into his head that there’s more to you as a partner than just having claws, wings, or “awesome animal demon powers” - Ayato wouldn’t care about you not being a vampire or full human at all; as long as he can suck your blood he’s thrilled to have you, and your added strength and powers is just another thing for him to brag about - That and the fact his only exposure to rare human-chimera hybrids is probably that monster girl anime, so you might have to correct some weird assumptions he’s made about your biology or whether or not you go into heat...

KANATO

- For Kanato, what he thinks about your demon physiology would depend on what animals you’re mixed with exactly and how visible it is - If you were covered all over in scales, for example, Kanato would be equal parts fascinated and disgusted by you - It might take him a while to get used to the fact that his partner isn’t 100% human, but he can deal with it - Kanato has probably seen or heard of worse, and at least you’re cute - “Say, could you kill with those claws? You might not make a perfect Doll, but I’m interested in you. What would it take to kill you?” - Kanato would be morbidly fascinated by any weaknesses your race gives you, but don’t worry: this is normal for him 

LAITO

- Laito would definitely be interested in your species, and all the physical differences it brings: he’d like to know everything about you, after all - Laito is of course genuinely curious about how you differ from the average human, but he’ll deliberately ask you intrusive questions about your biology to see if he can rile you up - “Bitch-chan, do you have a tail? Is it sensitive? What about your wings? Will you slice me open if I get too close? I’m shivering all over just thinking about it. Ooh, do you have heats? If you ever needed someone to be your mate, I’m happy to provide a distraction from those pains.” - He’d feel privileged to know he has a such a special significant other, and it would be entertaining for him to date someone different from the usual human women he pursues - But your species wouldn’t change any other aspect of your relationship with him aside from his more physical curiosities

SUBARU

- Subaru would make his feelings on you being a chimera hybrid quite clear from the outset of your relationship: it’s cool and all, but he really doesn’t care - If you kept your species well hidden, he’d probably get a shock the first time he saw you naked and realised you had claws, fangs and a long scaly tail - it wouldn’t put him off, but he would have to sit down and re-evaluate his life choices for a moment - “How could I not tell...? Now that I think about it, you don’t even smell like a fuckin’ human. I can’t believe it went over my head. I must’ve been blinded by lo- hey, why the fuck’re you listenin’ in?! I’m not talkin’ to you!” - Once he’s done monologuing, Subaru would probably ask a few questions about your species but is unlikely to bring it up again - As long as you bleed he’s satisfied, and luckily for him you’re plenty eager to share your chimera blood with this hungry vampire

[invaderdoom78]

New Moon Night part 2

“So what’s with all of the guns on the wall in the basement?” Bella asked as they sat down to eat the pizza Peter had ordered for them

“Oh, uh, I hunt vampires”

“Really?” Bella asked

“For a few years now. It’s actually how I met Aro”

“So” Bella started taking a bite of her pizza “is it hard killing vampires?”

“It varies from vampire to vampire,” Peter said “but if I get them in the heart right away with my steak gun that normally takes them out”

“Really?” Bella asked raising an eyebrow “Edward told me that vampires can only be killed by dismemberment and setting their bodies on fire”

“That’s true for some of them but if you use something that’s got witch's magic on it then it’ll kill them regardless of their, I guess, species. I could teach you how to shoot a gun if you want”

“...Yes,” Bella said, well aware that Victoria was still a potential threat to her life “uh, where should we go shoot?”

“There’s a spot out in the desert,” Peter said

“Is that legal?” Bella asked

“No idea,” Peter said taking a drink from his soda “but I’m not the only one who uses the spot”

“Ok,” Bella said ignoring the image of Edward that appeared, telling her not to do it

“You wanna pick out the gun?”

“Sure!”

With their lunch finished the two made their way back down to the basement so Bella could pick out her gun. Now Peter didn’t have the most impressive collection of firearms, a couple of shotguns, a revolver, his steak gun, and a wrangler and because of the small selection he was fully expecting Bella to choose the shotgun, especially since it was the best choice when dealing with vampires, but that wasn’t what she picked.

“Where are you two going?” Aro asked eyeing Peter as he put his shotgun and the wrangler Bella had picked out into their carrying cases

“Out to the desert to shoot some guns,” Peter said

“Did you put on sunscreen?” Aro asked already knowing the answer

“No” Peter scoffed

“Do you remember what happened last time?”

Peter did, he’d taken the twins out to shoot as well and when they got back home almost his entire face was burnt and the twins kept insisting on poking at it until it started peeling.

“It’ll be fine”

“No,” Aro said firmly

“...Fine” Peter gave in after a brief staredown with the vampire, walking over to an end table grabbing two bottles of sunscreen out of the drawer “here Bella” he handed her the smaller one

“Thanks”

Walking over to the hall mirror Bella stood in front of it as she put on the sunscreen, watching as Aro tried to help Peter put the sunscreen on his face while the hunter insisted that he could do it himself.

“There,” Peter asked once Aro was done “you happy now?”

“Very,” Aro said smiling

Turning around Bella held out the bottle of sunscreen she’d been holding and was about to set it onto the coffee table, but Aro stopped her.

“Hold on a minute, dear,” Aro said reaching out to wipe in the small amount of sunscreen she’d missed on her cheek, rubbing it in the rest of the way with a gentleness that she never expected from someone like him

Once they reached the spot in the desert Peter realized that he didn’t have any protective wear for Bella to use, so they had to improvise with a pair of Aro’s big sunglasses to protect her eyes as the vampire covered her ears with his hands and just like he did with Jane, Peter showed the young woman how to hold the Wrangler and where to position her feet before she shot at the five soda cans he’d set up; managing to nick all of them on the side.

“You’re a very good shot, dear,” Aro said resting his hand on her shoulders as Peter took the rest of them out with his shotgun

“My dad used to teach me how to shoot his gun a long time ago, but my mom found out and told him to stop”

“Did he teach you anything else?” Aro asked

“You mean like self-defense?” Bella asked setting down her gun “not really”

“Then allow me to show you,” Aro said

The vampire showed her the basics of self-defense poses, having talked Peter into being the practice dummy.

“Good” Aro praised as Bella delivered an elbow strike to Peters jaw, having enough self-control to stop herself from actually hitting her new uncle

Despite how quickly Bella was picking up on the techniques, it was quickly becoming apparent that training out in the middle of the desert probably wasn’t the best idea as it didn’t take much longer after that for Peter and Bella to become coated in sweat, so much so that it had almost completely soaked through their clothing. It was at this point that Peter decided that they should go home and get changed into something that wasn’t going to stick to their skin, both Peter and Bella hopping into the shower when they got home. Stepping out of the bathroom Peter dried his hair off with a towel as Aro sat on the edge of the bed running a brush through his long hair.

“It seems like Bella has settled in rather well,” Aro said

“Yeah,” Peter said tossing the towel at the hamper by his closet door

“I, overheard the conversation you and Bella had earlier,” Aro said as Peter crawled onto their bed

“I figured you did,” Peter said crawling up behind Aro, peppering the vampire's shoulder and the side of his neck with kisses

“We have laws that have been put into place solely to keep the existence of our kind a secret and it clearly states that vampires are not supposed to let themselves be known to humans”

“So should I be worried?

“If you hadn’t befriended Elizabeth then yes. Being what she is, the people that are associated with her and her family have immunity to our laws. Lest we risk facing a half-demon's wrath”

“Is Bella in danger then?” Peter asked resting his chin on the vampire's shoulder

“That depends,” Aro said taking hold of Peters wrists wrapping his human's arms around his waist leaning back into the embrace

“On what?”

“Whether or not the Cullens have any enemies”

“What about your lot?”

“Well if one of my guards discovers her she will be brought back to Volterra for a trial to determine whether or not she will be turned or executed” he felt Peter tense up behind him “don’t worry darling if it ever does come to that I will make sure that her life is spared and that she has a home in the castle”

“It's a good thing she wants to be turned then”  

“You know, you really are so much more caring than you want people to believe” Aro hummed “it's rather sweet actually; you treating Jane and Alec as if they were your own, helping Amy through getting the polluted blood out of her, reassuring your friend Charley that she would be safe. It’s a good thing I was able to snatch you up when I did”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, darling” Aro said nuzzling Peters cheek “just thinking”

Aro untangled himself from Peter's arms and got off the bed.

“Where’re you going?” Peter asked reaching out for the vampire

“The day is still young,” Aro said softly, placing a kiss on Peter's forehead knowing what he wanted

Flopping back onto the bed Peter watched Aro walk out of the room. Groaning Peter forced himself to get off the bed and get dressed before going out to the living room where he saw Bella and Aro sitting on the couch together, the vampire brushing her semi-dry hair. Sitting in front of them was the chest he kept all of his movies in, Bella looking through his collection.

“You have any preferences?” Peter asked taking a seat on the couch with them

“I like Stephen King stuff”

“I have Stephen King, but Lizzy has The Shining and all the IT movies so I’d need to get them from her” Peter said pulling out his phone so he could ask her for the movies

“Oh” Bella started but was interrupted by the front door opening and Lizzy stepping through, holding the DVDs “you don…”

“Here,” Lizzy said tossing the cases to Peter 

“Thanks, bitch” Peter said, catching them noticing how Lizzy and Bella were kinda staring at each other “that’s Bella. Bella this is Lizzy”

“Hi,” Bella said

“What’re the kids doing tomorrow?” Peter asked

“I think they’re all off,” Lizzy said, still looking at Bella like she was trying to piece some things together “why?”

“I’m trying to help Bella find a hobby”

“Cool,” Lizzy said giving Aro a two-finger salute before she left

“I’ll leave you to it then,” Aro said standing up

“Oh come on,” Peter said, grabbing the vampire's sleeve “at least watch The Shining or Misery with us. I’m sure you’ll like them”

“Alright” Aro sighed

“I’ll make some popcorn then,” Peter said standing up walking back to the kitchen, waiting for the popcorn to pop when Lizzy texted him

                                           Demon Bitch (Lizzy)

So has Bella shown any interest in vampires?

                                                        Yeah she said she wants to be turned

                                              And Aro told me he cant see her thoughts

That makes sense. 

One of her great grandparents was either a vampire themselves or one of their parents was a vampire so that’s why she can use her mental ability as a human and why she’s so keen on being turned. The vampire part of her DNA is calling out because of how close she’s become to, who I’m assuming are the Cullens as they’re the only coven I’m aware of that live up in that area of the US. It’ll probably also make the transition and blood lust easier.

                                                                    You gotta be fucking kidding me

No

                               The fuck am I supposed to do with that information

Just thought I’d let you know.

🍑💨

“Ok,” Peter said, slipping the phone back into his pocket “Lizzy’s sending me farts again!”

“You are the one that decided to befriend her” Aro called back from the couch

“You say that like it’s my fault”

“Would you rather her come and do it in the house?”

“No,” Peter said walking back into the living room with popcorn

Aro only stuck around long enough to watch Misery as while he did agree that it was a good adaptation and movie he still preferred the books. It was about midnight when Aro noticed that Peter hadn’t come back to bed yet, so he got up and walked out to the living room, spotting  Peter and Bella both asleep on the couch, Peter slumped back into it, head tilted back, Bella slumped against his side.

“Oh” Aro chuckled quietly approaching the piece of furniture

Picking up the remote Aro turned off the TV before gently lifting Bella off of the couch making sure not to wake either as he moved the young woman to her temporary room, tucking her under the covers before back out and doing the same for Peter. The next morning Bella woke up more confused than Peter had, as he was used to it at this point, wondering how she’d ended up in bed when she remembered falling asleep on the couch. Kicking off the blankets Bella changed into her clothes and went out into the kitchen, looking through the fridge to see if she could find anything that she could make for breakfast when Peter came out of his room wearing his sleep pants.

“Morning” Peter yawned getting to work making himself some coffee

“Morning” Bella said, grabbing a carton of eggs “where’s Aro?”

“Taking a shower,” Peter said watching as Bella started cooking some eggs for them 

Taking a seat at the counter Peter pulled out his phone, scrolling through it as he waited for the eggs to finish cooking when Aro came out of the bedroom, fully dressed and looking like he was ready to go traveling.

“Where’re you going?” Peter asked, eyeing the vampire 

“I have to go back to Italy” Aro sighed grabbing his cloak out of the closet by the door

“For how long?”

“Hopefully not long” Aro said placing one hand on his humans cheek placing a kiss on the other before walking over to Bella “it was wonderful meeting you” he hugged her “take care and maybe we’ll meet again”

“Maybe” Bella said, feeling a bit saddened that the vampire was leaving so early as despite Edwards warnings about him she had grown to enjoy the vampires company

Giving Peter one more kiss Aro stepped out of the house so he could head off for Italy.

“So do you wanna go over to Lizzy’s today?” Peter asked pouring himself another cup of coffee 

“Sure” Bella said as Peter grabbed a key out of the bowl by the front door 

Aro called several hours after Bella had left.

“Hey” Peter said, answering his phone as he slouched on the couch watching his T.V. “how was the flight?”

“Fine” Aro sighed “though I don’t see why I was needed. This was a simple matter. How is Bella doing?”

“She’s out with Michael and the others” 

“Oh good” Aro said, the smile obvious in his voice, “is she getting along with them?”

“Don’t know. I haven’t heard from her since she left” Peter said noticing Bella as she stepped into the house out of the corner of his eye “hey I gotta go Bella just came back”

“Alright, good bye, darling”

“Bye” Peter said, looking at the fading cut on Bella’s cheek “the hell happened?”

“I killed a ghoul and then Eleanor made us dinner. Here” Bella said handing Peter a tupperware container “she told me to give this to you” 

“Cool” Peter said taking the container 

“What have you been doing?” Alice demanded storming into the living room from the basement door “why haven’t I been able to see you and then all of a sudden I see you being attacked by that thing and now Edward thinks you’re dead!” 

“Who the fuck are you and how the fuck did you get into my house!” Peter demanded, mentally going over where he’d hidden the guns on this level of the house, moving so that he was between Bella and Alice 

“Alice?” Bella asked confused “what are you doing here?”

“Edwards going to the Volturi!” Alice said, eyebrows furrowed “he wants to die too” 

“Realy?” Peter asked looking unamused “he breaks up with her the way he did and his first thought when he thinks she’s dead is to kill himself not, oh I don’t know, call Charlie and ask about it or even come back to investigate it himself?”

“Apparently” Alice shrugged “but we don’t have time to think about it!” Edward plans on revealing himself so the Volturi will kill him”

“Alright” Bella sighed “I’ll help”

“Wot?” Peter asked looking at Bella in disbelief 

“Can you wait for me out in the car” Bella said to Alice who did what she was asked 

“Ok I get it” Peter said, placing his hands on Bella's shoulders “I get it, but for the love of God don’t take him back. If he really does want to get back together with you make him work for it” he pulled her into a hug “and be careful. I have no idea what might happen over there and Aro can only do so much”

“I will”

“Call me when you get there” 

“Ok” Bella said before hurrying out of the house

Bella P.O.V.

I can do this. I thought to myself as Alice tore out of Peters driveway. I can face Edward again and even if something does happen I have Peter to turn to, he knew what I had going through and I had new friends now, ones that I didn’t have to lie to about Edward or werewolves or anything that has happened to me since I got to Forks. And if worse did come I had two options one, I could agree to be turned and live in Voltera with Aro or I could tell them about Lizzy and maybe that would give me some type of immunity, for now, but that option could also bring up some issues with Edward and his family especially considering how hostile the relationship between werewolves and vampires is, I can only imagine that it might be the same with witches and demons and that could create a whole other layer of problems. Either way the next few hours would definitely prove to be interesting.

[isolctions]

Wedding ring emoji for ur current active muses (headcanon meme)

headcanon prompts

💍 — does your muse have a “type” of people that they prefer to enter relationships with? is their type generally compatible with them, or does the dynamic tend to be toxic?

ASPEN: she truly does not have a type??? i feel like aspen is honestly just shocked yet excited that anyone is showing her enough interest to consistently want to spend time with her, let alone date her! and while i do feel like she would like to have people that are compatible with her, either as an opposites attract sort of situation to help get her out of her comfort zone or someone that shares similar interests with her, i do feel like aspen having a sort of hopeless romanticism about her would lead her to put herself in a toxic situation simply because she tries to see the best in people — and again, she's so focused on the fact that someone showed positive interest in her in general that she wouldn't want to see their faults out of fear of losing that. but...she also has ilyssa who is murderously protective over her well-being / offspring that she's verse-dependently carrying, so the situation should hopefully not get that far.

ILYSSA: ilyssa historically only ever wanted an equal that she could feel whole with. she does typically go for other supernatural creatures / entities / enhanced humans because she's a cocky bitch and also because she does seek out a partner that has power, but humans can be an exception depending on what kind of human they are. (basically, if she thinks you're too worthy to be eaten and mutilated, that's a pretty good indicator that she's fond of you.) things do kinda get toxic with her because she's an extremely bitter former angel and thrives off of negativity and violence, but i only really foresee that if she's with a person that's morally opposite of her, and she tries not to go for people with a conscience. just makes things messy.

ZEPHYR: i swear these questions are so hard to answer in a non-biased way because she has a whole marriage with two kids now...BUT ALL OF THAT ASIDE! zephyr's type of person is generally someone that shares similar traits as her. she isn't extremely big on trying new things and that includes dating people that are out of her normal comfort zone, but it isn't something that she's completely opposed to just because zephyr also likes to experience new points of view as well — nobody wants to be with someone that's so similar that the routine gets boring. and while she does not actively seek out toxic relationships (not unless she's drunk off her ass sending texts at 3 in the morning because arguing turns her on sometimes.), zephyr has been known to get herself into some situations and stay with a bad person just because she doesn't want things to change, or because they have good sex or whatever.

JAIRA: jaira has been with all kinds of people, so her "type" is largely diverse and not at all specific to just one kind of personality or behavior. she does want things to be exciting at times and she does enjoy spontaneity and romance and all that mushy gushy stuff, but she also likes people that she can take things slow with, just enjoying the time they have together in peace and quiet without any extra noise going on in the background. (and yes, different "kinds" of people include different species. she leans more towards shifters, immortals, and the occasional werewolf / cat / what may have you, but that just depends on the personality because she isn't fond of all of them. she's a sucker for humans, and largely avoids relationships with other vampires after decades with luciano.) while jaira is too damn old for new aged toxicity, she does love her a good enemies with benefits. why? idk. just to keep things spicy, i guess.

RUE: rue's actual dating history is pretty empty and bleak. she wasn't really allowed to date when she was a teenager because she had an abusive overbearing mother with psychic abilities and was extremely shy / socially stunted, and a good 80% of the relationships she's been in as an adult were label-made. one thing for certain is that she does not want someone similar to her in terms of a career — she's been there, has done that, isn't really impressed by it. (if she does date someone who shares fame, though, she wants someone that can actually like...understand her. which is rare when your personality is not even fully you and no one knows you're a psychic witch but your family.) she'd like to be with someone that is compatible, yes, but above all she wants someone with a lifestyle that's entirely different than hers is, simply because this woman has not known a minute of peace since birth and craves that in a person. is she prone to toxicity? yeah. sometimes she's the toxic one because her schedule makes her very inconsistent, she's a liar, she's currently a binge drinker, and she gets bored very easily. but she does not seek to attract that.

IZIDORA: izidora doesn't really actively seek out relationships, simply because she doesn't really know how to maintain a healthy one. she grew up in an unstable environment with absent parents and emotionally absent caregivers aside from her grandmother, and her aunt's boyfriend was abusive towards her aunt, herself, and her sister as well as being the cause of all of her [redacted] trauma. ideally, she seeks out people who are not only just as aggressive as she is but people that she knows can protect her and that she can be vulnerable with. she is extremely prone to falling into toxic situations because she takes relationships to extreme levels (either too distant, emotionally unavailable and closed off or too extreme, aggressive, sometimes can be hypersexual and may even be violent), and truthfully izidora isn't above defending herself physically by use of either weapons or magic. yet at the same time, izidora can actually be really shy with relationships? especially when they're new??? so whether it's someone she's compatible with personally wise or someone that's outside of her comfort zone, it honestly varies on what kind of behavior the person exhibits because she's largely a reactive person as a defense mechanism.

APPLE: listen, apple does not have a type at all. personally i think it would be funny to see her in a relationship with someone who's morally opposite of her and probably an absolutely atrocious being in general simply because i go a special kind of crazy for villainous characters that are mean to everyone but their sunshine s/o. but enough about me. i feel like apple is open to experiencing all kinds of different people with all kinds of scenarios, and does tend to lean towards supernatural entities, especially witches / other fae or elven folk, because hello, they're both different from society! they are the same! they can be useful to each other while also protecting each other! (also? i personally believe a fae / werewolf couple...makes...sense? it makes sense. don't ask me to explain i will not.) as for situations of toxicity...um, not gonna happen. you can't play a fae. and while apple can be gullible and come off as really friendly and non-threatening, her powers (and her old magic) will override any situation deemed unsafe and she will send that ass to a realm to suffer for all eternity so fast. so no crazy shit around here, folks!

[werevulvi]

I'm starting to slowly understand that this de-transition I'm doing will probably always be pretty rough on me. I'm re-watching "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" for the millionth time. I guess, for being about a hyper-feminine, conventionally attractive girl, it's pretty empowering. And Giles is definitely my favourite, British dork. Buffy is empowering because she really doesn't need anyone to help her out, except when she wants help. She's the furthest thing from a helpless damsel in distress, but she's also vulnerable and in many ways, like any other teenage girl.

I guess I can relate to that, on the level of depths I rarely swim in. Except in reverse. Like I look really masculine, male, and very different from other women, but on the inside I'm still vulnerable, and understanding the world from having been socialised female, like I guess most women are, to various degrees. And I guess I'm holding onto that. Sometimes too much. Sometimes... even to my detriment.

But when your womanhood is almost literally hanging by a thread, and you treasure it... it's easy to clutch too damn hard at it, as if your life somehow depended on that grip. And I guess that's how Buffy got me thinking, really a lot. Thoughts that have been passing through my mind for a while now, finally stuck around long enough for me to grasp.

It feels like there's just no ideal solution for me. I'm still generally at a pretty good place with my gender and presentation now. There's nothing I really wanna change, except from going back on testosterone. But how satisfied am I really? That's the difficult question. I get these moments here and there, when I get... you know, sad. I guess I get jealous of women who still look like women. Like Buffy, and all those other female characters that I relate to (all three of them, lol.) Their ability to blend into society as one of the females. That which I once used to take for granted, and barely even was aware of, and did not even like.

As a teen and throughout most of my 20's, I didn't like the idea of "blending in" or looking "normal" as I saw that as equal to disappearing and becoming insignificant. I liked standing out, to look like a someone, instead of a no one. But for the past couple of years? Not so much. I don't have that same mindset anymore. Now I understand that when people don't pay attention to what I look like... they finally notice my personality. And I really like that. I feel no need to have an alternative style for the sake of expressing myself anymore, although I'm still drawn to tattoos and piercings. If anything, it rather hinders people from truly listening to me, because they're too busy judging my appearance!

Whether I stand out now or not, well... I do have kind of a choice over. Just not so much in my favour. Or well, it is, but at the same time not. I can blend in among men as a "normal" looking guy, which takes no effort and has become my go-to, but I can never do that as a woman. I mean, I'm not just recognised as a woman who is ugly or looks weird, or "too" masculine. I'm not recognised as a woman at all.

And yeah, sure, I'm fine with that. Not a big deal.

But sometimes I still mourn the loss of my ability to be seen as a woman, and not look like trash while doing it. Sometimes... I can't help but struggling to look at myself. It just gets so raw sometimes, and I feel ugly. Society's beauty standards still has a certain choke hold on me. I can't break free from that over night. Especially since I was a makeup addict for a really long time and only just recently stopped wearing makeup altogether. Especially since I struggled with an eating disorder, which I only just recovered from a few years ago. Especially since I previously used sex with men as a way to seek value and worth, but found the opposite, yet still crave that harmful lifestyle. I'm barely a stone's throw away from being the slave of femininity I once was. Perhaps transitioning was my unconscious way of attempting to break free from it. Yes, I think there could be some truth to that. I revel in my masculinity now, but the wounds femininity caused in me, still hurt. It took me about this long to even understand their existence.

My mind still makes these connections, that by "woman standards" I look... absolutely hideous. Bearded, balding, scars for tits, hair all over my body. Yeah, great. I feel disfigured. Like some kind of abomination. I'm just gonna have to live with that knowledge, and what it does to me.

Because sometimes I get lost in what I think other people must think I look like, as soon as I tell them I'm actually a woman. I've gotten looks of disgust from that, and I guess I just haven't quite figured out how to handle that sorta thing yet.

I know that every time I've tried to "present as female" again, I've regretted it and felt absolutely horrible. On one hand it's tragic, because societal beauty standards still make me break down over my appearance sometimes, in desperate attempts to make myself look beautiful again... and that's when I feel the claws of femininity scratching me up from within, all over again. That endless chase for unobtainable, so called "beauty" and the failure that's bound to follow. And I guess it's a little bit sad, that I think I look a lot hotter as a man, than I ever even could as a girl or woman, and that could be part of why I hold onto my male-like appearance as a comfort in my newfound masculinity.

But is that so bad?

This harsh weather of self-discovery demands a comfort blanket. But on the other hand, most days I actually feel great about the way I look, and I can even manage to still feel good about the way I look when I see myself as a woman. That is great progress!

I'm actually starting to be able to connect my womanhood with my masculinity, and when I do, I feel great. That's my "good days" and I have a lot more of them than those "bad days" when I feel disfigured. Because that feeling is relative, not objective. It's relative, not only to social gender norms for men and women respectively, but also to my own inner norms of my own gender, which are highly influenced by the norms of the society I live and grew up in. And I've noticed I actually have the power to adjust that broken compass within me that struggles to connect my appearance with my mind.

I think my dysphoria broke quite badly, when I started poking around in it. I mean, not only do I get envious of other women (who have not transitioned) but as soon as I present as female, I instead get jealous of men again, and feel even worse about the way I look! It's a catch 22!

I do not know what my tired, dysphoric heart craves, or if any physical change would really help me feel better. I still regret my top surgery, but no kinds of reconstructed boobs would be able to fill that empty void. Because it's not nearly as much physical as it is psychological. It's missing and grieving something very specific, which cannot ever return. And that too... I just have to live with.

However, I'm again trying out wearing fake boobs. Small sock tits in sports bras. As often as my deformed ribs can handle. It quickly gets very painful in the dents I caused by binding pre-op. I ordered some oversized sports bras and gel insertions, that I'm impatiently waiting for to arrive! In the mean time I try to make do with what I have, which is too small and too tight, but for an hour here and there, is alright. I feel good with the illusion of small boobs, something like barely a B-cup at most. It feels more like my body when it's not board flat, and it makes me feel better about being curvy as well. Otherwise I still wear the same men's clothes I'd usually wear. Flannels, jeans, hoodies, suits, etc. That's perfect. It feels a lot like me.

I really should have left my chest be. But I didn't. And that's okay. I'll manage.

I reach out to testosterone again for comfort. Familiar comfort that always made me feel better, and badass. I know it won't take my pain away. But honestly, that's okay. I actually want to keep my pain, anyway. Because it helps me heal and feel stronger again. I don't like being in pain, but I feel like it's rebuilding me, strengthening me from within, and forces me to re-think what's not working. Pain is my guide to comfort. That fire in my ass that keeps me moving.

So yeah, I'll live.

I'll keep breaking down sometimes, and feel like I made myself into the ugliest woman on Earth, but even that, I can draw some kinda power from. Being proudly ugly is definitely something I can do! And then I feel untouchable. When I remind myself that my "ugliness" is not only entirely subjective, but also... entirely deliberate. That I choose to not try to salvage my thinning head hair, because I do not need it. That I choose to let my beard grow out, because it brings me comfort. That I choose to keep my chest flat, despite all my difficult feelings I have about it, because it allows me to go topless and braless. And so on.

My deliberate ugliness, worn with pride and survival... I'd say is quite beautiful. That's what keeps me going. Dated: January 7th, 2021.

[texanredrose]

War (What Is It Good For?)

Blake watched as the rain fell, another dreary day in a dreary city. Time had lost all meaning about three millennia ago but the monotony never stopped weighing on her soul. She’d grown so… tired.

“You just gonna stand there and brood all night?”

With a small frown, she looked back at the woman who’d offered a bit of a distraction from the repetition- though, not in a good way. Wild blonde hair, lilac eyes that flashed with annoyance, and the build of a fighter, Yang Xiao Long was a human caught up in a chess match as old as time itself.

Barely a pawn, yet worth coming out of the shadows to find.

“I don’t have much else to do,” she replied with a drawl, arms crossed over her chest. “If we’re lucky, the sun will rise before the vampires find us.”

“And then what?”

“Then, we take you to Raven.”

“Who’s Raven?” 

Blake sighed, her teeth turning to fangs for a moment as her agitation grew. “She’s the last true immortal… and your mother.”

“Oh, fuck you.” Yang rolled her eyes. “My mom died years ago.”

“No, the woman who raised you died years ago.” Her expression pinched together briefly as she tried to recall the name. “I think it was… Summer, right? Summer Rose?”

To her surprise, the human didn’t seem swayed. “You hunted me down and kidnapped me, so if you’re expecting me to be surprised you know my mom’s name, tough luck.”

“Whether or not you believe me isn’t my problem,” Blake said, taking two strides to the chair where the woman sat and grabbing her shoulder roughly.

“Hey, watch it!” Yang tried to flinch away but didn’t have much room to go, bound to the chair as she was. “I got shot there, ya know!”

“Did you?” With her other hand, she pulled at the woman’s jacket and shirt, ignoring the blood soaked garments to reveal the skin that should be sporting a still oozing gunshot wound. However, aside from the blood, no evidence of such remained. “Where’s the proof?”

“I… well…”

“You’ve always had this ability- you heal faster than normal, you walk away from things that should’ve killed you, and perhaps most damning of all, you can’t explain why.” She took a step back, once again crossing her arms over her white jacket. “But you’ve always known there was something different about you. And, there is. You’re the latest descendant of the last true immortal.”

“So what’s that make us? Cousins?”

Blake had to hand it to the woman; her defiance, although arrogant, never wavered. “It’s a bit more complicated than that.”

“Well, it’s not like we’re going anywhere until dawn anyway.” With what limited mobility Yang had, she turned her hands. “Enlighten me.”

She had half a mind to ignore the request but, honestly, the woman would likely just continue asking until her patience eroded anyway. “The story changes depending on who does the telling. Long story short, there have always been five races on Remnant: humans, faunus, vampires, zoans, and the immortals. The immortals ruled us all for millennia, with humans and faunus as their servants and vampires and zoans as their armies. They used those beneath them until the vampires managed to find a way to destroy the immortals.”

Yang’s expression pinched. “Sounds like a faulty immortality to me.”

“Immortality just means that you don’t die through natural means, not that you can’t be destroyed outright. Vampires were the first to figure that out.” Blake went back to the window, her eyes unfocusing as she began to relive a memory she’d tried hard to forget. “When they’d destroyed almost all the immortals, the vampires instituted themselves as the overseers. Zoans like myself became their guardians… and their slaves.”

“Then what happened?”

“We rose up,” she replied, and in her mind’s eye, she went back to that day. The fighting, the shouting, the sound of claws on stone and wings beating and the overwhelming need to get away now that propelled her forward- and her last look back. “Then, the war started. Thousands lost on either side, until vampires and zoans were so few, we became myths and legends. That’s when humans and faunus inherited Remnant and we continued our war in secret.”

“Why in secret?”

“Because the truth had already come out; not even the immortals could escape death entirely, and though vampires and zoans can heal the same as you, we still have glaring weaknesses.”

“Like sunlight and silver?”

“Exactly.” She blinked, refocusing on the view outside the window. “We never inherited the immortals’ full secrets. We don’t age and die like humans and faunus but neither are we entirely immortal.”

“Maybe the immortals weren’t either; they just suckered everyone into serving them.”

“That’s possible, too.”

“Then why are you turning me over to one?”

“To gain the edge we need to win the war for good.” Blake turned her head, regarding the human. “You’re not a full immortal yourself but you have healing abilities on par with mine and you earlier fought a vampire to a standstill. You had a fraction of the immortals’ power within you by virtue of being half blood. What Raven offers is her own blood to whoever can find you.”

“Maybe I’m missing somethin’, but if this whole thing started because the immortals were killed off, I kinda don’t see how getting her blood’s going to help.” Yang shrugged- well, as much as she could, all things considered. “Sounds like a hustle to me.”

“The immortals never grew their numbers.” She stepped away from the window again, having briefly seen a flash of movement on the street below. “They bred their servants and their armies but rarely themselves; they would live forever and had no reason to propagate. They waged their wars to secure more resources for their minions, to increase the amount of lives they could throw away. When the fight began, the vampires knew how to replenish their numbers; the immortals did not.” Then, she winced. “Not for lack of trying, from what I’ve been told. For all the years that Raven’s tried, you’re the first of her offspring to survive into adulthood.”

“Guess immortality’s not for everyone,” Yang glibly replied, heaving a heavy sigh. “So, I’m just a bargaining chip. Great. Gotta say, kinda hurts my feeling’s a little bit.” Then she paused, looking over at Blake with something lurking in lilac eyes. “You still up for story time? ‘Cause, there’s something that’s been nagging at me.”

Rolling her eyes, she glanced out the window again. “And what’s that?”

“What’s the deal between you and the vampire chick? The short one with the scar?”

Her expression tightened. “Nothing. Not anymore.”

“Liar.”

Before she could respond to that accusation, she heard sound of a great amount of force smashing into the ceiling above them, amber eyes flicking up to see how the fluorescent lights shook and dimmed while the tiles bowed slightly. A second blow caused the ceiling tiles to crack and split and a third produced a hole and a hail of fiberglass, plastic, and insulation.

Then a figure dropped down, draped in black leather- as ever, a taunt.

“Blake,” she said, voice cold as ice.

“Weiss,” she replied, preparing for a fight. They’d done this song and dance so many times, it had become part of the monotony. A struggle neither could win, a fight neither could end… or didn’t want to… she honestly wasn’t sure which anymore. “Walk away.”

“Funny.” Blue eyes narrowed, the scar across her left eye never fading no matter how many centuries passed. “I was going to suggest the same thing.” At her hip sat a sword, the same one Blake had forged for her ages ago- silver, with intricate designs, the last vestiges of their old world. “There’s no reason for you to die today.”

For a moment, she considered it- walking away. Leaving the war behind, running as far as she could. She’d tried that before.

It didn’t work.

“Wish I could say the same,” she replied before moving forward, using her speed to close the distance quickly. 

Blake could’ve pulled her pistol from its holster; the special ultra-violet rounds designed to specifically kill vampires would make short work of Weiss. But, just as the vampire didn’t draw her silver sword, neither did the zoan pull her gun. 

This battle, they fought honorably, hand-to-hand.

Or, maybe, they were both cowards, unable to make the killing blow. Instead, Blake simply threw her weight into a tackle, launching herself into Weiss’ chest and sending them both crashing into the far side of the room. Thankfully, this particular safe house was in an abandoned office building, so no one would hear their fight. Unfortunately, that also meant no one could intervene. 

This time, only one of them could walk away.

They both rolled to their feet and Blake partially shifted, her fangs and claws coming to bear as her ears became more feline. As a werepanther, she had a good deal more strength available to her the closer she was to her fully shifted form, but would reserve that for later. In response, Weiss hissed at her, revealing her fangs as her eyes began to shine.

Neither at full strength but making a show of it for the sake of ghosts.

The monotony of it killed her as much as it broke her heart.

Then, she had to set aside her feelings, dodging swipes and kicks from the vampire while trying to land blows of her own. Movements too fast for the eye of a human or faunus but it always felt like running underwater to Blake, as if she couldn’t truly put her whole heart into attacking Weiss. Some part of her still remembered when they were small, both born into chains. Then later, when vampires took control, how Weiss became her ‘master’ in name only. Then, later…

She ducked beneath a swipe of Weiss’ claws and took the opportunity for an uppercut that quite nearly clipped the vampire’s jaw. 

There was a time when she foolishly loved Weiss. A time when she foolishly thought Weiss loved her. A time when she thought… that things would change, and they wouldn’t have to keep their love a secret. She believed it, once, and though she’d since learned the truth, some small, stubborn part of her still loved the vampire even after all these years.

After taking a few punches to her gut, Weiss dropped down and swept her legs from under her, sending Blake crashing to the ground, and a kick while she was down sent her skittering across the floor until she fetched up against the wall. Blake thought about getting up. She did. But she was tired of doing this. The fighting never stopped and, if the zoans succeeded in securing Raven’s favor, they’d just do the same thing the vampires did before them, and the immortals before them. There would always be a hierarchy, and injustice, and fighting, and she just… couldn’t do it anymore.

Amber eyes watched as Weiss seemed to realize she wouldn’t be getting up this time. That their battle had finally come to an end the same way it began.

Blake remembered when the uprising started, how the vampire looked at her even as she was ordered to ‘put that beast down’. How she drew her silver sword. How her eyes were cold and distant.

Just like now, the silver sword flashing in the dim light as she drew it from her hip.

After so many years upon years, she gave up and closed her eyes, allowing her end to come.

However, her eyes snapped open when she heard the crashing and metal twang, watching as Yang broke the chair she’d been sitting in over Weiss’ head and the vampire crumpled to the ground.

“No!” Shifting fully, Blake launched forward, skin replaced by thick black fur, but the human seemed to anticipate this. Her hand shot out, catching Blake’s throat, and she didn’t even have to reset her feet even as the werepanther’s superior weight slammed into her, jaws kept safely away from tearing into flesh. Yang didn’t even seem taxed, hardly wincing whenever Blake’s claws tore at her skin, the wounds healing almost the moment they were caused.

Then, her attacks became more like futile flailing as the hand around her throat began to squeeze. Although their longevity could qualify them as immortal, zoans needed air just like humans and faunus; they weren’t like the living dead vampires in that regard. Quickly, Blake turned back to her bipedal form in the hopes that changing sizes would dislodge the woman’s grip, but she was wrong.

With her dwindling consciousness, she registered Weiss’ scream of rage as she charged, impaling Yang with her sword. Unfortunately, the attack didn’t even seem to faze the woman as she threw Blake to the ground and grabbed the vampire by the throat, lifting her clear off her feet. The zoan tried to get up but found a boot stomping on her chest, keeping her pinned to the ground.

“Would both of you stop freaking out for one second?” Yang groused, using her free hand to pull the sword from her stomach, giving it a once over before tossing it aside. “Nice aim; pretty sure that got my liver. Plus a few other things. Ah well, no harm, no foul, am I right?”

“How- are- you-“

“Yeah, quick aside: I fought both of you to a standstill and she only managed to tie me to a chair because I sleep like a rock and just came off a forty-eight hour shift.” The woman nodded towards Blake. “The fact either of you thought handcuffs and rope would work is a joke.” In hindsight, Yang had a point. “So, here’s the deal. I have a bone to pick with this Raven. I only need one of you alive to lead me to her. First one to volunteer lives.”

At that, Weiss became even more agitated, struggling violently to free herself while shouting. “If you harm her, I swear, I will destroy you!”

“Okay, so there is something more going on here.” Lilac eyes flicked down to the zoan for a moment before focusing on the vampire. “Why the soft spot for this one?”

Weiss glared. “Because I love her, if you must know! Now, leave her out of this!”

“Hmmm. Wow, that’s gotta suck. Unrequited love for that long-“

“You almost killed me!” The words burst from her mouth before she could stop them, annoyed at herself for sounding so genuinely hurt. “When your father told you to put me down, you drew your sword and- and-“

“And I missed, you fool, it was the only way to cut your chains!”

That stopped her cold. “You… you were trying to free me?”

“Of course!” And, for the first time since that day, she saw the blood gathering in blue eyes- the only tears a vampire could cry. “I- I can’t kill you, Blake. I never could.”

“Hookay, so, it sounds like you two have some things to work out.” Yang removed the boot from Blake’s chest and set Weiss down on her feet, taking a step back from both of them. “Listen, for what it’s worth, I could definitely tell neither of you were really happy about fighting each other earlier, so it’s pretty obvious there’s some baggage there to unpack. You two should do that now, before any more of your friends show up.” Then she turned around, adjusting her jacket slightly. “Once you two have figured out the whole ‘will we or won’t we’ thing, I’ll be over there, trying to salvage what remains of my jacket. I can’t believe you put another hole in the damn thing. I get it, you two seem to only have leather in your wardrobes, but I kinda try to diversify mine, and I really loved this jacket.”

Blake blinked, slowly getting to her feet. She looked over at Weiss, who seemed equally confused but more concerned with… her.

“Are… you alright?”

“Yeah,” she replied, rubbing at her throat. “And… you?”

“I’m fine.” She quickly wiped away her tears, though blood was always harder to erase. “I’m… I apologize, that you ever thought I was trying to harm you- I never wanted to-“

“No, I… I’m the one who never let you explain…” Her shoulders fell, centuries upon centuries of regrets piling up on her in that moment. “It’s been… so hard, fighting against you all these years.” Tentatively, she reached out, cupping Weiss’ jaw. “I never wanted this.”

“Neither did I… but I couldn’t stop.” Weiss lifted her hand, settling it over Blake’s, and her skin felt as cold as it always did; even after millennia, the zoan never forgot how it felt. “If it was anyone else, they… you could’ve gotten hurt. So, I had to be the one who kept hunting you.”

In that moment, she made a decision, stepping forward and pressing her lips to the vampire’s. Again, her memories proved true, and kissing Weiss hadn’t changed despite how much the rest of the world had. 

How they felt… didn’t change.

“Hey, hate to break the moment, but I gotta ask some pertinent questions.” They broke apart to look over at Yang, who’d taken off her jacket in an attempt to mend the hole in the back of it. However, it also revealed the one wound that had yet to heal- the gashes deep into her left forearm that still trickled blood looking very much like a torn bite mark. “How does a human or faunus get turned into a vampire?”

“They have to be bitten and then drink the blood of the vampire who bit them,” Weiss said, eyeing the wound with suspicion.

“And a zoan?”

“Be bitten and don’t die before the next full moon.” Blake supplied.

“Great!” The woman genuinely smiled. “Well, I won’t hold you two up. If you point me in the right direction, I’ll go settle the score with Raven and I’ll just tell anyone who asks that I killed both of you. Go, run off to the woods somewhere and forget all this war nonsense.”

Although the zoan heavily considered doing just that- after all, running away with Weiss would bound to be different than just hiding herself away- the vampire obviously didn’t like the plan. “And just abandon you?”

“Hey, listen, I’ll be fine.” She nodded towards her arm. “I’m sure the bigger one of you will track me down soon enough; I can probably get some of her blood and the full moon is in two days.”

“Wait.” Blake tilted her head. “Are you trying to become both zoan and vampire?”

“Uh, duh. C’mon, think about it.” She gestured between the three of us. “You said yourself that none of Raven’s kids live very long and there were five races. Why would Raven be interested in me surviving if it wasn’t to see if the races can be combined? Humans and faunus can reproduce, so I figure she’s trying to find a way to breed a new army: half immortal, part zoan, and part vampire. That would give her the edge, right?”

“I mean… I… guess?” She looked to Weiss, who seemed equally stunned by the explanation. “How did you-“

“I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed but I know how conniving minds work.” Yang shrugged, turning away. “Either way, I’m going to give Raven a piece of my mind when I meet her, so if either of you know how to kill an immortal, that’d be a sweet going away present.”

Blake again looked to the vampire, who seemed to be thinking hard on something.

Then, she spoke. “Do you think there’s others like us?”

“I like to believe so,” the zoan replied, feeling Weiss’ hand slip into hers, their fingers threading together.

“Then, we can’t walk away from this.” Her expression turned serious. “We have to find a way to end the suffering without sacrificing everyone in the process.”

Blake nodded. “Okay. Then, let’s end this.” --- Is there a shit ton of irony in me doing an actual Underworld AU? Yes, yes there is. Is that going to stop me? Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnope.

[toho-literature]

Perfect Memento in Strict Sense: Pages 77-79 - Remilia Scarlet

The Scarlet Devil

Remilia Scarlet

Ability: Manipulation of fate

Threat level: Very high

Human friendship level: Very low

Main place of activity: Around the Scarlet Devil Mansion

If one refers to vampires that are known to exist in Gensokyo, they must be the Scarlet family living in the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

Its mistress is the Scarlet Devil (*1), Remilia Scarlet.

Her appearance and behavior might seem childish, but she has actually lived for more than 500 years and possesses amazing physical powers, as vampires do.

She's short and looks as a little girl under the age of ten, but she has wings with a span wider than her height, and by looking at her silhouette, she may seem quite large.

Her ego is large as well.

Her actions are similarly childlike, and combined with her amazing strength and inexhaustible curiosity make her a fearsome devil that may explode at any time.

She sleeps during the day in the Scarlet Devil Mansion. At night, she takes walks or hosts a party and has as much fun as she can before becoming tired and returning to her slumber.

It is not sure whether or not she is using her ability to manipulate fate consciously, but it is said misfortune will befall those who are merely in her vicinity, and she can cause great change in the state of the daily lives of others with but a word.

For example, becoming more likely to encounter rare things (*2).

Anecdotes About This Youkai

Scarlet Mist Incident

This incident led to many humans learning of the existence of the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

There was an incident where Gensokyo was shrouded in a deep red mist so the sunlight could not reach the Earth, leading to a summer with low temperatures.

Merely inhaling the mist will make you feel sick, and this led to people being unable to leave not only the human village, but even their homes over the course of the next several days.

It was Remilia behind the appearance of this mist, with the selfish intent of blocking the sunlight so that she could remain active during the day as well.

It's said that in the end, the shrine maiden of the Hakurei Shrine punished her to bring an end this incident.

Eyewitness Reports

"I saw her at a cherry blossom-viewing party. She was using a parasol. If she's weak to sunlight, why doesn't she wait until night?" (Anonymous)

She is a vampire who is often spotted in the daytime as well.

It seems that parasols are ideal in blocking ultraviolet rays.

"I saw her at a cherry blossom-viewing party at night. I guess she does it then since she's weak to sunlight." (Anonymous)

Rather, it is highly possible she was at viewing parties for the entire day.

"I was wounded and could barely move, but someone from the Scarlet Devil Mansion helped me and let me lodge in. They call it the Devil's Mansion, but she was unexpectedly kind. However, there wasn't anything much to eat, and since it was very noisy during the night, I couldn't sleep, so I ran away as soon as I could." (Anonymous)

Vampires are surprisingly polite.

Especially since they try not to eat the humans in Gensokyo.

However, it might be that your fate to 'die like an animal' had been altered (*3).

Countermeasures

Although she is a youkai with many weak points, it is not a good idea to exploit them and agitate her.

Since she cannot be exterminated under normal circumstances, you will most likely anger her and simply be blown away.

Since she has abundant curiosity, she may choose to invite humans to her parties or play in the human villages on a whim.

However, because she is childish, you must be careful not to render her in a bad mood. Otherwise, there may be terrifying consequences.

You will have to put up with her selfishness.

She thinks that nobody is superior to her, not only among humans but among youkai as well.

Because of her haughty attitude, she is friendly to none.

*1: She was called the Scarlet Devil before coming to Gensokyo. This came from the fact that she often spills blood and stains her white clothes.

*2: Actual results may vary, but there are no visual indication of when her ability is in effect.

*3: Depending on how she changed fate, you might even become a half-human, half-youkai.

[noonachronicles]

A Little Red (8)

Kim Hanbin (B.I.)/ Kim Jiwon (Bobby)/ Koo Junhoe (June) X Reader

Genre - Werewolf A/U

Word Count - 2K

Warnings -  None.

A/N  - For Sara, who I will continuously work towards luring back to meeee.

Moodboard by bae ( @memoiresofaneternaldreamer)

“I’m not a werewolf.” Junhoe noted stoking the fire.

You’d spent nearly a whole day with him at the tree. There had been sleeping on and off but the night, in general, was spent keeping each other warm. The pair of you had nibbled on the bread you’d brought him, and then he’d nibble on you and you on him. You blushed as you noticed the light, very subtle bruises his mouth left on your skin. Finally you had a reason to be thankful for the cold weather. What better excuse to hide the evidence of your love making than by covering it in layers. You dragged your fingers over the bare skin of his lower back, he turned from the fire back to you with a grin.

“You’re a man...that transforms into a wolf.”

“When you say it like that it seems the obvious answer, but…” he laid down on his side next to you, “It’s a little a more complicated.”

“Then explain it to me.”

He brushed your hair out of your face. “I come from a very long line of hybrids. Lycan and werewolf. Have you heard of lycan before?”

“No.” You said unable to help yourself but to kiss his shoulder, “I’ve heard of vampires. Are those real too?”

“Maybe.” He shrugged, “Though I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting one.”

“Lycan, werewolf...what’s the difference? And why does it make you special?”

“Werewolf change only on a full moon. They are typically very aggressive and have little control or at least they never show much restraint. Most times they’ll wake up the next morning with no recollection of the night before. Lycan have the ability to change whenever they want. They are just as fierce in an attack, but are often more in control of both their physical being as well as their emotional state. Even during transition they have control of their actions and retain their memories.” He answered.

“Where are you amongst it all?” You asked closing your eyes, once more in the comfort of his warmth.

“My lycan characteristics are much stronger. I can change back and forth whenever I please and have control over my physical self and my mental state. However once a month, during the full moon, I change whether I want to or not.”

“You still have control over yourself though, during that transition. It’s how you saved me.”

“Fortunately, I still have control.” He agreed, but you couldn’t help but feel his response was somehow incomplete.

“The other one didn’t. The one who attacked me.” You hadn’t asked yet, who the other wolf had been, you’d wondered if he’d tell you without much prodding. “Are the other two wolves hybrids too?”

“Yes, but there are different levels of control depending on a wolfs maturity and other factors in their personality. Characteristics that transition with them.”

“That night you were with me…after I was attacked, Jiwon said you had transitioned first. That would make him one as well?”

“Yes.”

“A less matured one?”

“Yes.”

Your heart started to race. You wished that you could forget the hundreds of questions running through your head. “He’s the one who attacked me?”

Junhoe stayed quiet. You looked up at his face, he was just watching you. Unable to answer or unwilling to offer you answers to questions he felt you’d already figured out.

“Why do you think he did it?”

“He’s emotional. Prone to outbursts.” He said simply. “He’s the newest to transition and has the least control. He’s been troublesome in the past.”

“It was an accident then?” You said hopefully, not wanting to think of Jiwon as malicious. “Probably because I had attacked him first.”

“Unfortunately it’s hard to be sure with his past actions.” Junhoe sighed.

“What do you mean?” you asked curiously, “what did he do?”

“I’m sure your sister mentioned Kira, in her journals?” he asked, you nodded in return, “Well, Kiha was Jiwon’s girlfriend. The night she died he was going to break up with her...He sent her a letter, asked her to meet him in the forest, but she went too late. He had transitioned and...she died horribly.”

“Jiwon…” you shook your head adamantly, “He would never do that, he could have stopped himself.”

“The way he stopped himself from attacking you?” he asked solemnly,  “Now that you know the truth, I want you to be extra careful little lamb.”

“You know something.” You could feel it in your stomach. Something about the way he spoke to you made you feel uneasy, as if something much more important was being left unsaid. “What are you hiding from me?”

“I don’t want to upset you over something that has no proof to it.” he said kissing your forehead. “It’s only a theory.”

“Junhoe, after all of this...you’d still keep secrets?” You asked genuinely pained.

“It’s just… I wonder.” He pursed his lips as he thought about it, “If he was capable of attacking you, of slaughtering Kiha, then I believe...he must be. Jiwon is the wolf that attacked and killed your sister.”

“Are you okay?”  Junhoe asked as he walked you back to town later on. You’d wanted to stay with him originally but he didn’t have the necessities to let you stay comfortably.

You couldn’t help but be mostly silent after the confession of his theory anyway, your mood putting a damper on the atmosphere of the love nest the two of you had created. The words he’d said were floating through your head, making you crazy. You guessed you knew it was a possibility before this but you didn’t really think it could be true.

“I’m fine.” You said curtly, arms crossed over your chest but still shivering.

“Come here…” he said catching your elbow and pulling you into his side. He wrapped an arm over your shoulder and you were already much warmer. “I didn’t say it was a fact. I said it was a theory.”

“I know.” You softened slightly.

“Try not to worry about it.” he reassured you with a kiss to the top of your head.

You hummed in agreeance but you still felt uncomfortable, unsure of how you would react if you saw Jiwon, and knowing full well that he would come to see you soon.

“Come inside.” You suggested, as the two of you reached your walkway. “Stay with me.”

“Why?” He asked looking down at you with hooded eyes.

You smirked leaning into him as much as you could, wishing there were a way to envelop yourself in him completely. “I want you to protect me from the big bad wolves.”

He let loose a growl just next to your ear that sent a shiver through your body, curling your toes. “The fire is still going and I’ll have to collect a few things if I’m going to stay with you.”

“But you’ll come back?” You said hopefully.

“I’ll come back.” He confirmed watching your eyes light up.

“Please be quick? I’ll miss you too much.” You confessed and you stepped back, leaning against the door.

“The quickest.” he promised with one last, quick kiss, “If you even blink you won’t realize I left at all.”

You watched him as he left, making his way quickly across the road and down the path into the forest. As soon as he disappeared into the brush you felt an overwhelming sadness, and turned to go inside. The cabin was dark, the windows closed and the fire out since you’d left. The atmosphere felt eerie as you reached along the counter looking for the lamp. You jumped as a match was lit towards the center of the room. The flame inched towards the small table lighting the lamp you’d been looking for. Your heart was still racing even as you realized the silhouette that lit the lamp was Jiwon.

“Where were you?” He asked.

“Why are you here, Jiwon? In the dark, it’s...you’re acting strange” you said easing yourself towards the kitchenette trying to avoid his gaze but knowing his eyes wouldn’t be leaving you.

He edged closer to you, the table the only thing between you, as his face came into view  “Hanbin noticed the smoke had stopped coming from your chimney, that the fire must have gone out. I came over to check and sure enough you were gone. In the middle snowstorm y/n... what were you thinking?”

“I just wanted to take a walk. I was so restless.” It took you a moment but you realized you were shaking.

“A walk to the middle of the forest?” He asked, knowing. He looked angry, his jaw clenched and eyes sharp. “You could have died out there. Was he truly worth the risk?”

“Jiwon, please don’t…”

“Don’t what?” He asked harshly.

“Hurt me.”

He scoffed, “Don't hurt you? Please, y/n! What did he tell you when he had you all alone? What lies did bury so deep in you that you’re this frightened of me?”

“I know what you are.” You whispered, a  fearful tear slipping from your eye.

“So you’ll know that he is as well. That he’s just as dangerous!” Jiwon slammed his fist down on the table in frustration, “Damnnit! Y/n, don’t be such fool, please!”

“I want you to go now.” You said shakily. “I’d like to be alone.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. Just...please, think about this. He’s incredibly dangerous. Junhoe is not who he seems to be. I need you to know that.” Jiwon seemed to be genuinely pleading with you, but you couldn’t shake the fear that had been instilled in you.

“Well, he’ll be back any moment and I’d rather you not be here when he returns.” You said calmly, gaining courage. “I’d rather there not be a situation.”

“You’re making a mistake.” He said trying to step closer to you, but you held your hand out and he stopped. “There are things you don’t understand. Things he’ll never admit to you.”

“He’s the only one that told me the truth about what you all are. He’s the only one that’s admitted anything to me at all. Even Hanbin kept secrets, not just from me but from Louisa who he supposedly loved? Not enough to tell her the truth it would seem.” Suddenly it seemed the table had turned, and your veins ran with anger. “You can leave now, Jiwon. I think I’ll be making decisions for myself from now on.”

“Please don’t push us away.” He sighed solemnly, “Hanbin and I only want what’s best for you.”

“Is that what you told Kiha?” You asked.

Jiwon’s eyes widened in shock at the name. “Kiha… y/n, you’re mistaken. All of this is wrong.”

“Are you the one who attacked me? ARE YOU THE REASON I HAVE THIS HIDEOUS SCAR ON MY BACK?”

Jiwon stepped back. “He’s lying to you. I...don’t know what he’s told you, but I’m certain it’s lies. If you’d only listen to reason...”

You jumped as the door of the cabin opened, it was Hanbin. He looked relieved at the sight of you.

“Oh thank god, you’re safe.” he sighed, “I saw Junhoe in the forest, he said you’d be back here. I so worr- what’s going on in here?”

“I want Jiwon to leave.” you said with a sense of certainty, the next part you said with less, “I want you to leave, Hanbin.”

“Y/n...I.”  You could see the way his face fell, the instant sadness that reached his eyes.

“I told you this would happen.” Jiwon said quietly to his friend. “We should have told her from the start.”

“Jiwon…” Hanbin sounded like he had given up, your heart gave a small twitch, wanting to reach out to him. “Let’s go.”

“We can’t leave her, he’ll come back, he’ll-”

“Jiwon!” Hanbin shouted definitively.

He turned with fallen shoulders and left the cabin. Jiwon looked at you with such a sense of sadness before following his friend, leaving you in the dimly lit cabin. You slid down to the ground and gasped out for air.That’s where Junhoe found you, curled up in the kitchen, barely breathing.

[sleepyfan-blog]

How about #7 ('All I see is you') of the Song Lyric Prompts for ConHayth? uwu

pairing: Conhaythwarnings: father/son incest, modern AU, CEOxVet AUwords: 2,884

@balsaminaceae

​summary: Haytham visits Connor at work

Connor was having lunch in the breakroom of the research facility that he’d been working in for the better part of a year and a half. His father’s plans for having Abstergo offer some low-cost veterinary clinics in New York City – as well as in a couple of other cities were well on their way to being fully implemented – and they were starting to hire staff for it, and while Connor wanted very much to apply for one of those positions… He’d bonded with Corbin – one of the eagles that the research facility was doing behavioral studies on. The fact that he could see through the eagle’s eyes was something of a great deal of interest – not just with his supervisor, but with the rest of the research team. They had asked him an awful lot of questions –many of which were dizzyingly confusing and others he refused to answer without asking Haytham if he should answer first… As they pertained to the strange second sight ability, and as Connor suspected that his father had it as well, the young man was… Unwilling to speak of it, without Haytham being fine with him answering those questions as well.  

His uncertainty and reticence hadn’t gone well with his research partners – and he had noted more than a couple of suspicious glares from his supervisor as well. Although what they thought that he was hiding beyond not being comfortable answering what little he did know about the strange ability… Connor had no idea, and while the young man would normally just ask Haytham outright – as the two of them had been living together for the better part of six months now… His father was half-way across the world, taking part of an international business conference that many high-powered CEOs were attending, and had been for over a week. Connor missed his beloved dearly, and though they had been able to text one another occasionally – it wasn’t anywhere near close to what he wanted… Especially since they weren’t able to have texting conversations for more than an hour or two, as the time zones that the two of them were living in were so badly mismatched. Haytham wasn’t sure how long the conference was going to be – and to make matters worse his father had also implied that he might be staying longer than the end of the conference, depending on whether or not he was able to make connections with one or more of the CEOs who were based in that city or country… So then he would stay and hammer out some sort of business thing that would be beneficial to both of their companies.  

The radio was playing quietly in the far corner – it was set to an older music station, and the world seemed to be out to make him miserable – as a maudlin love song started to play – just as Connor was checking his phone, in the hopes that Haytham had answered his phone – which the other had yet to do so… Prompting a long, unhappy sigh to leave him as he stared morosely at the delicious lunch that he had been picking at for the better part of ten minutes, unwilling to eat and not hungry anyways. The young man sighed again, pushing the salad away from him as he folded his arms on the table as he pressed his cheek against one of his forearms, as he continued to stare at his phone, willing Haytham to suddenly respond to him. With his colleagues exiling him socially for reasons the young man could only vaguely guess at, and his father being so unavailable (though for good reasons…) he was terribly, terribly lonely…  

“Hey, are you alright Connor? You look a little down.” Salai asked, frowning a little at him as the other moved closer. They were a new addition to one of the other research teams – and the only person who would actually talk to him, since he’d been unable and unwilling to answer his own team’s questions about the strange ability he had – as he didn’t know how he’d been able to bond with Corbin, only that he’d managed to do so accidentally.  

“Oh… It’s just… I miss my boyfriend. He’s been at a business conference for a while… It’s out of the country so it’s not like we can really talk and…” Connor answered with another unhappy sigh. With a concerted effort of will, he straightened up, looking at the other and asking “How are you, Salai?” 

 "I… Oh… I understand what it’s like to miss your beloved. I… I had been dating someone for years – he was a few years older than me, but oh… He was brilliant, warm and amazing. But I… I found out that he was in love with another, and though he was… Fond… Of me… It was this other person who held his heart so completely. I… I broke things off with him, as it was terribly unfair of me to ask him to stay with me, as though he did love me… I didn’t seem to be quite enough for him.“ The Italian responded, looking utterly miserable and unhappy.

Connor’s heart lurched painfully, and he shoved away any anxiety or worries that started to spring to mind “I… Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that, Salai… I know that it’s a rather trite thing to say…”  

“But I know that you genuinely mean what you say.” Salai responded, sitting down next to the empty chair next to him, answering with a tiny smile “I… I broke up with my former boyfriend several months ago. I’ve heard rumors about your mysterious boyfriend from the others. How you talk so happy about him, but you never mention a name.”  

Connor shrugged a little, still somewhat distracted by the maudlin tone of the love song, reminded strongly of the years he'd spent on the small town run by anarchists, as he really had missed his father every day... and the only person he'd ever seen in a romantic sense was Haytham – not that had changed in the least. "No one's asked – besides... You know what Abstergo's policy is, regarding dating fellow employees is..."  

"Ah, but I heard that your mysterious Vampire doesn't work in the building – that he was part of the business side? Or was he one of Abstergo's lawyers? Or so the rumors have whispered." Salai responded, a small smile appearing on his face "And, since no one has apparently asked... What's your boyfriend's name? I promise that I won't tell."  

There was no good answer to that question, and Connor knew it. He shouldn't have spoken more about Haytham... But how could he not, when the source of his unhappiness stemmed from the fact that his beloved was so far away? "I... It's not that I don't trust you, Salai... It's just that... You know what the fraternization policy is with Abstergo and I'd rather not mess anything up, you know?" That and though he could technically use his father's middle name – Edward – instead of his first name, as the latter was much more common... Trying to call the other by his middle name, even as a not-quite lie to one of his coworkers felt... Wrong.  

The Italian hummed a little, nodding and smiling amicably "If that's how you feel... I understand. But... And I'm not trying to say that your guy is doing the same that mine was... But sometimes some of the so-called business trips that he took weren't business at all... But rather visiting his other lover. Not that I blame the other lover – he was under the impression that the two of us were in an open relationship as he's poly, and the two of us had met before. Ezio thought that our initial meeting was him meeting me as one of my boyfriend's steady lovers."  

Connor blinked a little in surprise, dark eyes widening a little as he connected the dots – as Salai had seemed vaguely familiar – as one of the anarchists who had several hunting dogs was named Ezio – and was dating both Sofia and Leo – and the latter had a boyfriend named Salai. The chances that this man and the one that he was thinking of were the same person were... Unusual – but Salai worked in the same field that the possible-other Salai did and... "… Your old boyfriend wasn't Leonardo Vince, was it? And his other boyfriend – Ezio Auditore – about six inches shorter than me, black hair, dark eyes and a grin full of mischief?"  

"I... Yes... How did you...?" Salai sputtered, eyes widening a little "How did you know?"  

"When two of Ezio's hunting hounds went into labor, I was the vet who delivered both litters. I also oversaw both litters' shots and vet visits, while I was working at that clinic. He really had no idea that the two of you were in a monogamous relationship as he's many things... But though he flirts with anything on two legs, he tries very hard not to be a homewrecker." Connor responded, a small smile appearing on his face. "Ezio found you to be quite charming, and spoke of you to me a couple of different times, actually."  

"I... Oh... That's flattering. And you're absolutely right about Ezio... He was... Is, quite the charmer. I wouldn't have minded sharing Leo, if he had only talked to me." The Italian responded unhappily, shifting a little closer to Connor, looking as if he was about to start crying.  

"Err..." The younger man responded, uncertain if he should try to reach out to Salai and lightly pat the other on one shoulder, or to politely look away so that he had a couple of moments to compose himself without being watched by someone.  

Before he could decide either way, the head researcher of Connor's department poked her head into the breakroom and ordered, looking anxious, voice pitched low but tense "Salai – get back to your station. Hill come with me. Kenway himself is visiting the facility, and he wants to meet you – since you were the one who was able to bond with one of the eagles. Perhaps you'll answer his questions, if not ours."  

The young man flinched a little, startled by the darkness in her voice, but nodded, getting up and following her out of the breakroom, startled that Haytham was actually here – and though he'd have liked a bit more forewarning by his beloved... It should be nice to see the other again... Besides, his surprise at the CEO being there was just as genuine as everyone else's. "Of course boss. And as I said earlier, it's not because I won't answer your questions... It's that I don't know how, and I can't answer them, ma'am."  

~  

As his boss had said, Haytham was there, looking unfairly handsome in a well-tailored suit, watching several of the eagles fly around in their large enclosures. Connor wanted very much to enthusiastically greet his beloved, it would be wildly inappropriate for him to do so in this setting, not in the least because his boss was starting to speak with Haytham, which was why he was staying quiet while listening attentively, catching the end of what she was saying.  

"And as I have stated in my report, the only member of any of the teams who have been working with the eagles, only one of them has been able to bond with one of the birds as the... Long held rumors whisper is potentially possible. Ratonhnhaké:ton Hill, the young man behind me, is the one. He claims that he had contact with the eagle when the two of them had been younger – and has of yet, been unwilling – or unable – to explain how or why he was able to bond with the eagle – and to see through the eagle's eyes. He did once take Corbin out of the facility, although why he never did explain, beyond the apparent need of the other's ability to fly to search for something." His boss stated, her voice a little sharp with irritation.  

Connor tried desperately not to fiddle with his hands, looking down and away from the both of them as he waited to be asked something to speak. The three of them were the only ones who were in the observation area, the young man noted.  

"Anarchists – the very people who had kidnapped me almost two years ago – had taken something that I... Could not afford to lose. Connor used Corbin to find who had the Object in question, taken it back from said anarchist and took it to where I was – as another of their group had nearly managed to kill me." Haytham responded, voice firm, catching both of their's full attention. His boss gasped in shock and horror, and the younger man shivered, wincing in pain at the awful memories associated with that day – as his beloved had very nearly died that day.  

"I... I see. But who is this Connor you are referring to, sir?" His boss asked, frowning a little in confusion.  

Connor cleared his throat a little, scuffing one of his feet against the floor, answering uncertainly "Ratonhnhaké:ton is my middle name. My first name is Connor."  

"And Hill is his mother's maiden name – which is the one on his Birth certificate." Haytham responded, bright blue eyes dancing with mischief. The young man realized moments before it happened what was about to – and couldn't help but blush a little – knowing that it would probably be easiest to get out of the trouble that he'd been increasingly under by his boss if this particular revelation was given now.  

"But Hill is not my only last name. Rake:niiii we agreed that you wouldn't interfere with thing while I was working." Connor responded plaintively, unable to stop himself from pouting at the other, drawing out the second syllable of what he was calling Haytham at the moment to show his displeasure.  

"Ah, but if I did not, your boss may have had you dragged away, as she thinks that you might be an anarchist, sent to try to ferret out the secrets of this facility, son." The older Kenway responded, voice light, but eyes serious and worried, showing just how serious the situation really was.  

"And why the... There is no way in the coldest depths of hell that I would ever support anyone who wants to hurt you, father." Connor nearly growled, finding himself moving closer to his father, taking the other's hands in his own. "All... All I see is you. I love you, and I care for you, rake:ni. There's nothing that I wouldn't do to try to protect you... To make you happy."  

"I know that, Connor. And I love you too." Haytham responded, gently squeezing his hands back, pulling him in for a hug, murmuring quietly "I've missed you."  

"Missed you too, rake:ni. You were gone for too long." Connor answered unhappily, hugging his father tightly, relaxing into his beloved's touch.  

"I... Ah... I'll leave the two of you to reconnect. I wouldn't want to... Erm. Intrude on this familial moment." His boss managed out, rushing off – the door on the far end of the hallway clicking shut as the both of them could distantly hear her hiss "Shoo, the lot of you!" And the sounds of confusion from Connor's research team – all of whom wanted to understand what was going on with something.  

There were cameras recording everything that happened in the observation room – which was why Connor murmured quietly into his father's shoulder "Want to kiss you, but not here."  

"I'll speak with your boss, see if I can't convince her to let you have the last couple of hours of work off, as I've only just arrived in the city. My phone died on the plane ride over here, and I was unable to charge it since." Haytham responded quietly. "When your boss's report came in, stating that there was a possible anarchist who had infiltrated this facility yesterday I... I arranged for a flight as soon as I could to investigate as I... I was worried for your safety – as well as the safety of your coworkers and the behavioral research that was going on here."  

"I... I just wasn't sure how to tell them about... 'Bout the second sight and I wanted to talk to you about what I should tell them first and I don’t know how I was able to bond to Corbin – or why the bond is there in the first place... Just that it is." Connor responded quickly "And... I don't want special treatment although I... I really, really want to head back home with you."  

Haytham sighed a little before answering "I understand – we'll speak about second sight later. And, though I would rather not admit to it, there are several things that I should do, and they will take me several hours to complete. See you home, after you get off of work? I will be working at home, finishing those things up."  

"Alright." Connor responded, nodding a little as he slowly let go of his father. "I love you."  

"And I... I love you too, Connor." Haytham responded, releasing his beloved and the two of them went their separate ways.  

[purpleswans1]

My Favorite Hidden Anime Gems

I’ve been watching Anime for several years now, and I’ve watched a lot of really good series (and a couple of bad ones). Among them are some series that are a lot of great series that I believe don’t get the attention and following they deserve. Some of them may be more popular than I realize, or they were popular a while ago and just faded over time. But all of them are, in my personal opinion, definitely worth a watch.

Quick note: I tried to put down why I believe some of these shows aren’t as popular. More than one of them is because the original material comes form Light Novels, which aren’t a readily available to the western fans as manga and anime, which alienates those fans since they believe they are missing some of the story.

Now, on with the list:

1. Kemono no Souja Erin (Beast Player Erin)

I can’t express to you how much I love this show. The best way I can summarize it without giving to many spoilers is that it’s a coming of age story about a girl who wants to be a beast-veterinarian like her mother, and follows her as she grows up That doesn’t really go into the juicy bits though. It has strong women in positions of power and male-dominated fields, brilliant world building, and the main focus is on the relationship between mothers and their children. It’s very refreshing, and I think tumblr would love this.

Now this one actually has a lot of reasons why it is less known. First of all, the original source is a light novel. In addition, the anime’s art style is much more simplistic than most anime a fans are used to. Finally, although the plot is entertaining for all ages, the show is actually geared towards kids. As anyone who’s watched Gravity Falls or Steven Universe will tell you, this doesn’t make it any less enjoyable. This does mean though, that the audience that it’s intended for doesn’t have easy access to it. That being said, I definitely suggest that people watch this.

2. Saiunkoku Monogatari (The Story of Saiunkoku)

This one is a court romance, and a really great one at that. The story begins about a sensible girl who is asked to turn the king of her country into a decent ruler by becoming his wife, but the story grows into something greater, focusing on politics, the magic of the kingdom’s origin, and the girl’s dream of becoming a court official. There are several well-done female characters, some who take on traditional feminine roles and some who want to be in male-dominated fields. There’s a little bit of a reverse harem situation going on, but the main character is well-rounded and most of the boys are just supporting from a distance. the main focus ends up being on the political drama rather than just the romance.

The animation is a little old, and the original story is from a light novel. In addition, I suspect that the second season ends before the ending of the light novels so we still have some unresolved business that we’d have to track down the light novels to find out. One of these days I’m going to find and read them. Still, this is definitely worth it!

3. Zetsuen no Tempest (The Civilization Blaster, Blast of Tempest)

Okay, I’ll admit that this one is a little weird, and completely shifts narratives halfway through (which, now that I think about it, happens in several anime I know) but is still worth the watch. I swear the two main guys are kind of psychopaths, but they��re also very real and their relationship is a very interesting take on friendship and complex relationships. The story is set in a world where everything in civilization starts being devoured and people are dying, but these two guys get roped into helping a witch trapped on an island save the world because she promised to help them get revenge for the one guy’s sister. It’s also full of dialogue and plot references to William Shakespeare’s works (especially “Hamlet” and “The Tempest”) and who doesn’t love a good reference to the bard?

I… really don’t know why this anime isn’t that popular. Other than the narrative being a little confusing at times and some of the characterizations being incredibly unique (i.e. not cliches) It’s a really good anime, and you guys should check it out.

4. Guilty Crown

Okay guys, I’ll be honest with you: the first time I discovered this anime (back when my experience consisted mostly of Inuyasha and Code Geass) I described it as a Code Geass fanfic with a slightly altered preface. Which… really isn’t what it is at all. There are still some similarities though. The actual story is about a world where japan was decimated by an Apocalypse virus and has become entirely dependent on foreign aid, making it into a kind of military state. People are oppressed, so a terrorist group forms and a certain socially awkward boy gets a special power that was intended for the terrorist, and he gets roped into joining them. It has a lot of interesting characters and characterization, since part of the boy’s power is to reveal people’s hearts in physical form.

I’m not sure why this one isn’t very popular, other than having several troupes that are in other shows. If I had to guess, it might be related to how he narrative changes halfway, and how I swear the thing must have been funded by the band Egoist considering how much they are referenced in the show.

5. Seirei no Moribito

Oh man, this one… *deep breath* The main character is a spear wielding woman bodyguard in her 30s. She is tasked with protecting an adolescent prince, who after being infected with a magic egg (more significant than it sounds) is being attacked by his own country. They end up forming a mother/son bond over the course of the story and that is the main relationship focus. Oh, and the woman has a love interest who’s basically a healer with some mystic abilities, and they are so not subtle about the reversed gender roles.

The story is based on a light novel series by the same author as Kemono no Souja Erin. However, it only tells the story of the first book, so we end up with a well put-together story and maybe potential for season 2? someday? *goes and cries in a corner because that would be amazing*

6. Shiki

Kudos to @quasiplatonickarinhina for introducing me to this.

Okay, so you know how Twilight spurred a rise in popularity for vampire stories? Only, instead of being the Anne Rice and Bram Stoker bloodsucking-monster variety, they became excessively romantic good guys? Yeah, this isn’t like those neo-vampire stories.

By any chance, does anyone remember the first season of Supernatural? You know, back before it became a cult-followed soap-opera, and instead was basically a series of rural American horror stories crammed into an hour a week? THAT is what this story is like.

The preface is that a mysterious family moved into a small rural town, and gradually people start dropping dead mysteriously. Things gradually escalate, and the story dives into a lot of heavy psychology with some statements on humanity in desperate situations thrown in. If you like Tokyo Ghoul for the psychological horror, you’ll love this.

The series has a very slow build-up before the climax, so that might be the main reason why it isn’t very popular.

7. Shounen Omnyouji

You know that Abe no Seimei guys that will pop up occasionally in exorcist or historical anime? Well, this is about his grandson, who has resolved to surpass his grandfather as an Omnyouji and finally get out of his shadow.

I should also note that this is probably one of the only shounen protagonists I know of that actually shows respect to his elders and superiors (which probably says a lot more for the general trend of shounen protagonists than anything else, but it’s still refreshing.) Seriously, one of the biggest running gags is that he’s in his room yelling about his grandfather expecting him to do the impossible or having to big of shoes to fill, but he’s still very respectful when he’s actually around the guy.

Also, his love interest is… not annoying? Sorry she’s not really that awesome of a character, but she manages to be a traditional princess and not painful to watch. Which is unusual.

Oh, and there are all these super-powered Shikigami who gradually develop respect for the MC and have their own issues with one another. That’s always cool.

This series was originally a light novel series, and to be honest even I wouldn’t know about it if I hadn’t been looking for a different Omnyouji series. I should warn you though, this one has a kind-of-cliffhanger ending, and I don’t see much indication of a season 2. You can always hunt down the light novels though.

8. Arslan Senki

Not sure whether this anime is unknown enough to be here… No, it does. It hasn’t gotten the following it deserves. The light novel series has been going on for decades and that might part of the reason why the fandom has faded, but the most recent manga adaptation is by the Mangaka behind FMA, and apparently she’s done some changes to the original story. Which is cool.

Also, the whole thing clearly has some thematic and stylistic roots in the Crusades, and that’s got to appeal to western audiences right?

9. Tokyo Ravens

You remember those exorcist anime I mentioned a while ago? Well this is one of them. The short explanation of this series that that it’s about a bunch of high school students studying to be Omnyouji. Which makes it sound a lot like a Japanese Harry Potter, which admittedly it kinda is. Only not. There’s a lot of plot derived from the reincarnation thing and some family politics crossing actual politics.

This is another one where the original source material is a light novel series. It also ends in a sorta-cliffhanger, but I have a bit more hope for a season 2 for this one.

10. Rurouni Kenshin

Okay, this one probably doesn’t need to be on this list since it is still popular, just really OLD so the hype has simmered down, but It needs to come back because WE HAVE A NEW MANGA ARC!!!!! (Can you tell how happy I am?)

Now I could go on and on about how much significance this series has for me personally (I literally discovered online scanlations and the dark web for this series guys) but I’ll spare you the hour-long monologue. Elevator pitch: This is a historical fighting manga with a lot of interesting characters and themes and quite honestly a classic. I’ll admit that there are some issues with the story that weren’t as troubling to high-school-aged me, but overall it’s still a wonderful tale. I mean, the manga inspired a long anime series and 3 live action movies, so that should say something (I feel no urge to watch the OVAs, so let’s not mention them)

11. Silver Spoon (Gin no Saji)

Okay, I’ll be the first to admit that i usually am not attracted to slice of life stories. But a friend recommended this series to me and mentioned it was one of Arakawa’s mangas, so I decided to check it out. A decision I do not regret. The basic plot has to do with a city boy who decided to go to an agriculture high school. Its chock full of culture shock, interesting characters, and a realistic take on the agricultural industry. I identify with this story on a personal level, both because i grew up in a rural area and know how some of the agriculture stuff works and also because the MC is searching for a direction after loosing his “dream.”

Like I said, this series is a slice of life, which generally doesn’t get as much attention as the action-adventure stories.

Got any other animes you think deserve a larger following than they currently have? Feel free to recommend them to me!

[trbl-will-find-me]

100 Questions: Sally

Sally answers 100 questions honestly. Spoilers through chapter twenty-two of Every Exit, An Entrance.

Part 1: The Basics

· What is your full name?

Sally Élise Royston-Martin. There’s a case to be made for Sally Bradford, though.

· Where and when were you born?

April 28, 2017 outside of Montréal

· Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)

My biological parents were Édouard Martin and Stephanie Royston; while they never intended to become XCOM operatives, it’s how they met. Papa, who was trained as a physiotherapist, was XCOM’s first psi operative. Maman came from the intelligence community and served XCOM as a sniper. Both were kind, warm people —- I never doubted I was loved or wanted, even if I wasn’t planned. Papa disappeared shortly before I turned four. Maman was taken from me seven years later.

· Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?

There’s just me.

· Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.

The Avenger. Technically, the Avengers. It’s complicated.

· What is your occupation?

Sniper/Ring master

· Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.

Long auburn hair on the redder shade.  Brown eyes. Pale, small, wiry. About 5’5”. Shrapnel scars on my right shoulder.

· To which social class do you belong?

Uh ... not the rookies?

· Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

The usual assortment of trauma related baggage, but I’d like to think I carry it well.

· Are you right- or left-handed?

Shoot right, write left.

· What does your voice sound like?

I’ve been reliably informed I still carry a French accent when upset. Otherwise, I sound like Maman.

· What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?

“Fuck,” “goddamnit,” and “are you kidding me?”

· What do you have in your pockets?

A knife from Uncle Will, a whistle, a set of lockpicks, a few hair ties, a spare ammo clip.

· Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

I’m not great with words, so I tend to be physically affectionate with the people I care the most about. I prefer being up high to being on the ground. I hate when people slurp their soup.

Part 2: Growing Up

· How would you describe your childhood in general?

Unconventional, but happy.

· What is your earliest memory?

Napping on Papa’s chest in the barn.

· How much schooling have you had?

No conventional schooling, so to speak, but Maman made sure I could read, write, and do math. Central did his best to give me a good grounding in American history.  Uncle Will is responsible for a lot of my ... more eccentric knowledge. I read just about everything I can get my hands on, too, which helps.

· Did you enjoy school?

I suspect I would not.

· Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?

Maman, Central, Will.

· While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.

Maman, who never stopped fighting. Uncle Will, who looks concerned every time the topic comes up. And Central. But that’s complicated.

· While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family? Generally, I got along really well with my parents. It feels a little funny to say that, given that Papa disappeared when I was so young, but it doesn’t feel like a lie. I was very close to Maman and losing her was incredibly difficult. Up until he swan dove off the wagon, I also would have told you I was close with Central, but things on that front are a lot more strained. Will is Will; I think you’ve gotten the picture.

· As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Like Maman. But alive.

· As a child, what were your favorite activities?

We didn’t have a lot of time when I was a kid, but I liked to climb trees and read. As I got older, I grew to like talking to people, picking up new skills, and practicing on whatever makeshift range we had.

· As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?

As a little kid, I was quiet. I didn’t really have reason to talk, and the more I talked, the more likely I was to tip my hand about the Gift or XCOM. It was safer to be quiet. I got chattier as I got older, once Maman was gone and controlling my abilities was on me.

· As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?

We were on the run a lot. I was good at feigning cute and innocent, so I tended to fly under people’s radar.

· When and with whom was your first kiss?

It was fine.

· Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?

It was also fine.

· If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today.

Psionic family! I was born with the Gift.

Part 3: Past Influences

· What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

Ohhhh boy. Maman’s passing? Meeting Central? Uncle Will falling over in the field? I wouldn’t be me if any of those things hadn’t happened.

· Who has had the most influence on you?

Maman, but also Central. And Will (but, again, he looks worried when I talk about that.)

· What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Untangling French and English enough to talk again after Maman passed.

· What is your greatest regret?

I try not to have those.

· What is the most evil thing you have ever done?

I have done some questionable things when faced with starvation or Central going through withdrawal.

· Do you have a criminal record of any kind?

I’m an XCOM operative. Part of the territory with ADVENT.

· When was the time you were the most frightened?

The instant I knew Maman was gone and I was really alone in the world.

· What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?

I’ve had liquid come out my nose more times than I can really make an excuse for.

· If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?

I want my parents back. If Papa hadn’t disappeared, Maman wouldn’t have gone after ADVENT like she did.

· What is your best memory?

Hard to say. Lots of my early memories aren’t really mine per se, but I’m in there. Life wasn’t easy, but we were happy. Later on, there’s the time Central broke me into the carousel museum. The summer we spent in Portsmouth. Will in the field. There’s other things too, but those are what most immediately come to mind.

· What is your worst memory?

When I found Central drunk off his ass because he’d relapsed.

Part 4: Beliefs And Opinions

· Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

I’m an optimist. I believe that as long as we’re still here, we have a chance. The people we love are worth fighting for.

· What is your greatest fear?

Losing the people I care about. It’s already happened twice and the odds of it happening again are close to 100%.

· What are your religious views?

I don’t care. Pascal’s Wager, I guess?

· What are your political views?

Death to ADVENT.

· What are your views on sex?

Please don’t fuck the vipers.

· Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?

Yeah, I’ve killed.

· In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?

I’ve seen people do horrible things; I try not to dwell on it too much. Selling out the havens to ADVENT certainly ranks up there, though.

· Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?

Yeah, I do. I’ve seen proof.

· What do you believe makes a successful life?

If you’ve found people to share it with.

· How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?

Situationally. It depends on the audience and the topic, whether it’s something I’ve come to terms with myself or not. Central used to be the person I went to when I needed someone; it tends to be Regan or Will these days, though Wallace and Kelly have both stepped in.

· Do you have any biases or prejudices?

I don’t look kindly on brewers, distillers, or people who hurt others for no reason.

· Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?

I won’t betray the people I care about. I’d rather die than cause harm to them.

· Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

The people I love, a chance to put an end to ADVENT.

Part 5: Relationships With Others

· In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?

When I was fifteen, I found of book of Jenny Holzer’s work. There was a quote that stuck with me: “turn soft and lovely any time you have the chance.” Everyone’s got their own shit to deal with. I’d rather not add to it ... unless there’s good reason.

· Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

Probably Maman. She may not be here anymore, but she was such a influence on the person I became. I’m fighting this war because it’s what she would have done. I can’t give up now.

· Who is the person you respect the most, and why?

It’s a toss up between Regan and Will. They’ve both overcome a lot to be where they are.

· Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.

Wallace and Kelly, close to home. I’m lucky enough to have friends among Uncle Will’s people, too.

· Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.

Uh, I have a crush or two? Does that count?

· Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.

Not enough life experience!

· What do you look for in a potential lover?

Ask me once I’ve had a few.

· How close are you to your family?

My parents are gone, but I was very close to them. Things with Central are a mess, and I’m more upset about that than I necessarily want to think about. As I’ve said, Will is Will.

· Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?

No. I’m barely an adult myself.

· Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?

Will, Central, Regan, Kelly

· Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?

Regan, Will ... and Central. Regan’s a good commander. Will and Central have already had to answer that particular challenge.

· If you died or went missing, who would miss you?

Uncle Will. And Central. I’d like to think Regan, Kelly, and Wallace, too.

· Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

He’s already dead. I made sure of it.

· Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

Depends on the person and situation.

· Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?

I’ve got a good head in an emergency, so, sometimes. In general, I prefer not to be the center of attention.

· Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?

No; it’s too loud.

· Do you care what others think of you?

In the vast majority of cases, no — I’m the one who has to live with my choices. There are notable exceptions, however. I’d rather chew my own tongue out than disappoint Uncle Will ... or Central.

Part 6: Likes And Dislikes

· What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?

I like to read and fix things!

· What is your most treasured possession?

There’s a few very important things. I wear Maman’s wedding ring on a chain around my neck, so that’s up there. Central’s St. Christopher (on its fourth war). My bear. The knife from Uncle Will. Papa’s arc thrower.

· What is your favorite color?

Red!

· What is your favorite food?

Uh, so this is weird. I have flashes of other people’s memories —- namely my parents’, but bits of Central’s, too. I have a tremendous fondness for foods I have never eaten and that probably don’t exist anymore: grandmère’s ratatouille, Charlotte Russe, lobster macaroni and cheese. In terms of foods I have actually eaten, chocolate, strawberries, and clementines.

· What, if anything, do you like to read?

I will read anything I can get my hands on. Please, please bring me books.

· What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?

I’ve seen a fair number of movies from various sources, and I have memories of my parents’ favorites. I like old black and white comedies a lot, but there aren’t too many left. As for music, I so rarely get to hear it that it’s become a case of all music is good music.

· Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?

I don’t drink. Cigarette smoke makes me gag. Drugs would be a fucking stupid idea.

· How do you spend a typical Saturday night?

If I’m not on duty, I like to read, play cards, visit, or spend time on the range.

· What makes you laugh?

Good wordplay. Making fun of Thomas. Gallows humor.

· What, if anything, shocks or offends you?

I thought I was going to throw up the first time I saw the Reapers spitroasting a Chryssalid.

· What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?

I roam the ship or read.

· How do you deal with stress?

Shooting practice!

· Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

I fall somewhere in between. Sometimes, I want a plan and I want it to be watertight. Other times, I’d rather just rush in and deal with the fallout as it comes. Overthinking’s a nasty trap.

· What are your pet peeves?

Drinking, people who slurp their soup, unwarranted arrogance

Part 7: Self Images And Etc.

· Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?

Get up, brush my teeth, put my hair up, work, eat at some point, play cards/read/or chat to relax, shower, bed.  If that changes, it’s because something’s gone wrong; I’m usually too busy handling it to process anything beyond surviving.

· What is your greatest strength as a person?

My belief in something better.

· What is your greatest weakness?

I don’t always see the big picture. At my worst, I leap before I look.

· If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I’d be taller.

· Are you generally introverted or extroverted?

Introverted.

· Are you generally organized or messy?

Organized, but only I understand the system.

· Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.

Good: Shooting, cheating at poker, swearing in French

Bad: Judgment, subtlety, dealing with Thomas

· Do you like yourself?

That’s a level of self-reflection I try not to reach.

· What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons…)

Family, loyalty, revenge, hope.

· What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

Seeing Earth freed from alien influence.

· Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Hopefully, celebrating a world free of ADVENT.

· If you could choose, how would you want to die?

Old age.

· If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.

I don’t know that I’d have the presence of mind to have a good plan. Probably write people notes because saying goodbye is hard. Parcel off my trinkets to the right homes. And, if death is really, really inevitable? Maybe I’d take the DJ up on his advice and go punch a peacekeeper.

· What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?

If I go out fighting, I’d better have a pretty badass death — maybe taking an Elder out with me? Otherwise, for the good I did.

· What three words best describe your personality?

Cheerful, loyal, stubborn

· What three words would others probably use to describe you?

Sweet, stubborn, determined

· What advice would you give to another?

If it smells like turpentine, don’t drink it.

[mephistophelianmusingsxo]

Sin City

It is said that loneliness is one’s lack of social activity, another humans company but true loneliness is isolation, it’s an emotional power to emptiness. It is more than just that feeling of wanting company, true loneliness is disconnection. No matter the amount of bodies that swarm your own with heat you’re still lonely, you’re still cold. It’s an impossible struggle to react and build a meaningful human contact. You’re hollow. Your insides whistle and echo the sounds of voices but they don’t quite reach your ears, the soft haze, the quiet buzz fades still. People fear being alone, they fear they may become lost without constant interaction but I, I chose to be alone. I chose this life. It wasn’t forced upon me, it was what my heart chose. You may ask “What is it like being alone?” And I can truly say, it is critical that you first assess the reason and actions to bring you to this point, whether in reasons for physical violence, emotional anguish, or the degree your mind is willing to go to accomplish this sense of being alone. I mean after all, we’re all, alone aren’t we? No one ever truly understands what it is like to be them, to experience their happiness, their pain, their sorrow and their guilt. So, how can we say that we are in fact not alone? We are. Some people find it easier to be within their own company, smothering their monadic existence from others. Pretending that all is good, life is perfect and they’re hunky dory. Drawing fucking pictures of a life everyone wants but not one single being has. Bullshit. Whether you will like to disagree or agree with my matter at fact, you cannot deny that solidarity is a fleeting feeling. It is universal. Race, creed, social standing. Once in a person’s life it will visit their soul and leave a mark so deep, they will always question if it ever left. Every song, every piece of literature, every painting extracts the inescapable fate of pure loneliness and we somehow are fundamentally distant from this, we protest that we do not have it. The paradox to all human existence for our social entities is to seek connections. May it be with another human or simply an object that holds great sentimental value.

Which leads me to my next point, by now you’ve probably already guessed my life became tangled in ways it never should. A typical story of a child not wanted, and a child gone wayward. However, you would be wrong. My childhood was the exact juxtaposition to expectancy, I was an only child. Sweet little protégé to dear old Dad’s booming company. Showered in love and adoration from the minute I was born, a child couldn’t ask for more. But it was never enough, I never belonged, I couldn’t excel in the areas my father wanted to carry on his heritage, try he might have, he could never tether my soul, could never cage my free spirit. I wanted to explore the world, I wanted to become accustomed to more than what I had growing up, I had a wild zoe for freedom. Academically I excelled in everything I did. From the writing short hand classes my father enrolled me in, to the logistics and statistics courses. In effect, there wasn’t much I didn’t excel in, but it wasn’t me. I didn’t care for flash suits, fancy jobs, exquisite restaurants, nature was more my thing. No convention or obligation, seeking out every unique possibility in each circumstance as it was. Enjoying whatever I deemed appropriate in this socially adverse world, limitations were minimal, and I rather relished in my adventurous unconventional conformity of a woman. Freedom, now freedom is open to arguments; social and political views as something that must be contained and controlled or something that cannot be. It has been across everyone’s lips, touched their tongues but never their actual mind set nor their soul. It has touched every human heart with adept fingers and a shadow that looms. Forever changing but never abandoning.

‘Freedom’. Freedom means many things to many people; politically the freedom to vote and choose your respected candidate, socially for you to choose what and who you like to acknowledge with. Standing free with those that fight for the freedom of speech, distancing yourself from those who fight for an entirely different cause but still freedom. Financial freedom is what got me in to this mess. Where others seek to free themselves from debt, standing credit and foredooming loans, I propelled myself further and further in to the outstanding debt. What’s more surprising is, I don’t particularly wish to be free either. Which is funny, wouldn’t you say? For a woman that has documented nothing but her free spirit doesn’t seem to want to be free of the hold finance has on her. I have to say it is interesting that we all pursue this Liberty as an ends to a means. An end to all our struggles. But what is our deliverance? The no longer outstanding debt, the ability to do what we like? Say what we like? It is not truly being what we all call 'free’. If you look, it is our hearts that drove us in to this mess at the beginning yes? So, who is to say that our hearts will not choose the same path? It will remain unchanged as long as our heart yearns for what it just escaped from. Why? Because we desire what we think we cannot live without. And… Voila! We find ourselves in debt again. It’s a viscous cycle. It eclipses all we know and only serves what we don’t. Feeds off the hunger of curiosity. And well, being a natural spirit of curiosity, I was an easy target. I was the prey awaiting the predator to seize. It was not an approach in the dead of night, it was more an ease of comfort and insurance slinking its way around your body, your mind, your heart until you realise and it’s too late. It’s not a peripheral remedy. It’s simply not something to help you balance your books it becomes your life. Symptoms begin to fester, and you apprehend that it’s a disease, but rather than dealing with it you run. I ran. Intoxicated with the deadness of every human strategy, the knowing that it’s something I could never conquer, my heart fell steadfast into corruption and sin. Captivating and keeping hold of the rebellion that would cause mankind to leap from ignorant innocence to full blown understanding. I do suppose that if my life had taken a left instead of a sharp right, I would never have found myself in this position, but then again, I also suppose that I wouldn’t be happy, I’d be stuck working at my father’s company, lumbered with a healthy pay-check and all the cuttings and trimmings that went with it. At least this way I was gifted with a substantial pay-check for doing what I love. I wasn’t just put on this earth to work and pay bills, that was not a life. Just an existence. There were other places I could have chosen to work, other industries I could have pursued but not everyone finds the labouring of a nine to five exciting and appealing but rather tedious. This line of work is for the ones that don’t have any advanced education or a set of degrees, for the ones that don’t have the looks or the luck, or the ones that don’t have enough gumption to be a pimp; they live a life of has beens and recent regrets. It doesn’t require sets of specific skills and it’s readily available in any city that you step your foot in. Have you guessed it? When the clock hits twelve we deal; cards and crack. Yes! The drug industry, let’s not call it that. That brings unwanted negative connotations, disastrous assumptions to those involved. Instead, I oppose we call it a free trade on the very large capitalism scale. Distributing and supplying to those who live the life in the fast lane, the ones that search for a kick, the ones that become solely dependent on the next hit. I would say I was sorry but I’m not. As long as their struggles line my pocket, I would continue to benefit from transactions, grant them another five gram, ten, the amount is limitless when you have the money. I feed their uncontrollable addictions to illicit drugs, I destroy families; people all alike. There is no age, no specific gender. It is whoever is willing to pay. Drug dealing requires no real hard work, but it’s no fun when you lose, and your balls are in the blender. Your pay-check comes from the clientele and if you slip up and squander your batch, you’re the one that suffers then. You have no income until your next run. It’s all a muddle of colours, a twisted web of lies. To say I had simply lost my way was quite the understatement. To be brutally honest, I had become adrift the many other souls settled in the ruins of their independency. People observe the streets just as people observe the sky, in one single hour a multitude of colours can paint the sky; blues, greys, oranges, yellows. In my line of work, it is crucial that I notice these. I may approach you genially, by no means am I nice. Granted I can be affable when I please, but please; do not ask me to be a friend. I simply can’t. Pick a colour and chose your path. Drug smuggling, runner, courier however you please to perceive. It is my job and as a right in doing so, I notice trends throughout rife city life. When demand is low, I simply move on. I cannot recount a single moment where I have remained in a place for longer than six months, that is until now. New Orleans has become my home, or perhaps I should say my place of work. An advantageous opportunity I could never resist. If I had known what I know now, it is almost probable my deterioration in to crime and misdemeanours would certainly have happened more rapidly. Would you believe me if I told you witches were real? Would you believe me if I told you I work for them? No, no, what if I told you my very purpose in this is to run errands where vampires cannot go? Would you believe me? Of course not. You’d only but believe I am a woman turned insane from her reckless use of narcotics or perhaps an insensate pursuit of an old crazy woman way before her time, my time. However, consider this there isn’t just one monotheistic being – Humans. We are only a minute percentage of the world’s population. Forever persecuting other people, killing them because they’re far more superior than anything mortality is capable of. But immortality, immortality is something else altogether. Creatures of brief season that remain for an eternity. Wherever you look in history, you cannot escape the record of inquisition, they have always been a part of our world. Undertaking, preceding and strengthening what we mortals are unaware. I once claimed loneliness and freedom were my downfall, I believed them to be a disadvantage of no plausible use, but as it turns out being in this new reality grants me the greatest asset of invisibility. Slipping from sunset to sunrise unseen, unnoticed. Free.

[redzeverin]

Some Tarot stuff x Servamp thoughts

So I was thinking of the Tarot cards recently (I blame you @spritesoulmist) and I couldn’t help but remember some Servamp related stuff (courtesy of Neverland boi’s recent birthday cuz it was eveRYWHERE- //cough). More specifically on the C3 arc.

If we look back at the chapters we can see some Major Arcana cards as their titles: namely 

ch.41: The Magician ch.47: The Tower ch.50: The Hanged Man ch.52: The Chariot ch.59: Strength

Now we know how much symbolism and thought Tanaka-sensei puts in the whole plot now yeah? Things, words, events, and characters can be premonitions for something to come soon…

//cough… Anyways, here’s the stuff we came up with. Take note I’m not an expert on Tarot readings and meanings, so these are things I checked up on my book. Also these are just tiny speculations and meanings I thought of so don’t take ‘em seriously =v=)

Also, hear this out. Tarot card readings, depending on which kind of reading you are doing, would have two meanings to it—The upright meaning of the cards and… of course… the reversed meaning. I’m gonna put both interpretations in relation with the events happening in the manga, but the reversed interpretations may not be accurate, sooooo… yeahhhhp

The Magician

UPRIGHT:

This chapter doesn’t particularly zoom in on one character (as compared to The Hanged Man as Tsurugi and The Chariot as Junichirou; sadly it doesn’t have much for Yumikage for it) and focuses on the three magicians, or C3, as a whole. The Magician Tarot card talks about, of course, magic– illusions. It serves as the bridge between the spirits and the humans, and as C3 in Servamp’s case: the vampires and the humans. It also represents, in summary: solutions, aspiration, and capabilities– probably as a reference to C3′s organization as a whole.

REVERSED:

Magic used wrongly. Abilities used to gain a negative end for personal satisfaction or plots. This may be an indication of the plan Touma has “ever since Tsubaki escaped”. It can also mean being out of touch with reality (and being more in the world of magic?), which could also an indication of Tsurugi’s condition that made him “not hear the alarm”.

 The Tower

UPRIGHT:

Tbh, this is the reason why I’m making this post. The Tower Tarot card signifies ambitions that leads to a disastrous ending or a sudden destructive change. wqjiodnasdpansddq– If we think of Servamp… well… nwjqlebnsaodasd okay, with those two meanings in mind, let’s look at the events in the chapters. The sudden destructive change we can point out here is the fact that the rising levels of Jin in their area is making vampires more indestructible and would most likely cause that “world of nothing but night”. Aside from that, there’s also Tsurugi’s case, which was finally revealed because of the Servamps residing in the headquarters and causing the stir in his memories. Theeeen the whole subclass breakout thing too. Fast forward to ch.54 “Climbing the Tower” and we get to see Tsurugi and Mahiru climbing the tower. I sure do fcking hope it doesn’t go as how these meanings are, because there, we see Mahiru wanting to save Tsurugi and The Tower tarot card talks about the fall of an ambition that was too high or more than one can chew…. //cough. Only chapters will tell us now…

REVERSED:

Destruction can bring about regeneration. This is all about delayed destruction, whether by fear of change, or by other physical factors. In this chapter, Touma talks about some stabilizing medication because he deemed Tsurugi unwell. What this medication is, we’re not yet sure, but it is something that “delays” Tsurugi’s total uh… breakdown?... so Touma can still use him.

The Hanged Man

UPRIGHT:

The Hanged Man’s depiction is not one who was sent to be hung because of his wrongdoings- in fact, he is hanging there on his own will. There are two cases for this—surrender and sacrifice. As a personal sacrifice. (//cue 10 headcanons exploding in my mind rn), it can either be a person doing the personal sacrifice, even if it is unrewarded, or an event that requires the personal sacrifice. In the case for this chapter, first off we have Mahiru asking Tsurugi if the reason they (the humans) were able to live peacefully all this time was because C3 has been fighting for them the whole time (and note, without most humans’ knowledge). Tsurugi then mentions something about “dying for world peace” then afterwards saying “just joking”. Then he presents how he is viewed by the two opposing sides of the vampires and humans- seen as an enemy to be killed and a hero who kills to protects, respectively. He knows what he is to them, and because of that, resigns-- surrenders – himself to that fate. And for humans, that can be seen as a personal sacrifice for the better good. Buuuuut then again, this card also symbolizes surrender in the “letting go” manner in order to achieve a better end result. Also there’s this example here of suspended action— decisions that weren’t immediately made even when the situation is already dire (//cue the “alarm”; //cue Jun’s wife--- //KICKED).

It was also in this chapter that we see a panel where “The Fool” was put below Mahiru, and where Tsurugi mentioned “You can still go anywhere afterall,”. This is referencing to The Fool’s tarot card of not being in sequence with the Major Arcana cards. The Fool is a free spirit- not bound by the numbers- and has unlimited potential. The Major Arcana is often seen as The Fool’s journey through life—making him the protagonist. A.k.a. Mahiru still has a lot more to do from ch.64 onwards fckYEAH---

REVERSED:

A standstill in time and decision. In regards to Tsurugi’s character (which I have very little grasp of at the moment so dear Tsurugi peeps forgive me), it is the inability to move forward from his current situation. This is the part of him that “wasn’t able to grow up”.

The Chariot

UPRIGHT:

The Chariot Tarot card here focused more on Junichirou as a character—Meaning that this card stands for control— being the most rational one in the group AND also the attitude to take the matters into your own hands, which can be seen through his personality and actions in trying to save Tsurugi (despite Yumikage’s protests). It stands for determination and will power- despite him not being a better combatant compared to Tsurugi during their fight, he still did what he can. Discipline could also be seen in the way he uses Mjolnir…. Although… this card also signifies victory. Will Jun still have a part to play after all that happened? ;;

REVERSED:

Losing control of personal life. Junichirou’s loss for his wife and seeing his best friend apologize gravely for what happened… really took a toll on him that made him on leave for a year. This was his time of thinking things over, taking the reins on how he wants things to be from then on- and that means fighting for the ones he has now.

Strength

UPRIGHT:

I’m not sure if this is considered to be part of the Tarot cards speculation, but Strength is indeed one of the Major Arcanas. As opposed to the usual idea of brute force, the Strength card, and the symbolism portrayed here is inner strength—composure, resolve, courage, character, and reliability. Kuro’s said it well enough for us to understand the fact that he’s acknowledged Mahiru’s growth! It is also a sign of taking on things without the use of unnecessary violence- through intellect it may. Which, in this chapter’s case, is also leaning a bit to Mikuni’s ways of doing things. The elaborate plan he’s coming up is not him getting into the fray, but getting all the pieces together until he makes the final move (or so).

Oh, oh, fun fact about this too. The card of Strength is portrayed by a woman calmly holding on to the jaws of a lion. She didn’t keep them close by force- she earned the lion’s trust for her to be able to touch him, and in turn, the lion is soothed by her presence and doesn’t attack. Very befitting for the bond of the Sloth pair ne~? x3

REVERSED:

Doubt. Seriously, the reverse of the courage shown here is doubt. I don’t know what else to say besides Doubt Doubt //kicked.

//cough. So there you have it: Things that may or may not symbolize something in the future. What I’m waiting for is one or two more Tarot card reference. Tarot cards have different spreads that can connect each card with each other, leading to a conclusion. We already have five references as of now… six would make it into LT’s 6 card spread, and seven would make the Horseshoe tarot spread. Although there are other spreads, these two are kinda more popular. But anyways, I’m betting on two more of these. one for Yumikage, and one for the resolution.

Yumikage may have The Moon tarot (from his name Tsukimitsu, “Moon shine”?). This card is something akin to uncertainty, fear and vagueness. He wants to protect things his own way but “nobody ever listens to what he says” (ch.49). He longs for a proper action, even with uncertainty, to the point of frustration. But even then, the moon still guides him in the world of nighttime they have immersed themselves into. This can signify clarity and awakening too. Yumikage ganbatte!!!! 

And for the resolution, the Judgement card I guess. It’s the final outcome, welcomed or not. //prays for happy ending for everyone ;;

Ohghods that was way too long. If you made it this far with my ramblings, I congratulate you! xD. I’m gonna stick to waiting for more ideas here and there so hehehe... Only the chapters will tell~