#i guess it also used to be my desire to act/perform. which i dont do at all anymore. shut-in that i am

[britneyshakespeare]

Being then in a pleasant frame of mind (from which I infer that poisoning is not always disagreeable in some stages of the process), I resolved to go to the play. It was Covent Garden Theatre that I chose; and there, from the back of a centre box, I saw Julius Caesar and the new Pantomime. To have all those noble Romans alive before me, and walking in and out for my entertainment, instead of being the stern taskmasters they had been at school, was a most novel and delightful effect. But the mingled reality and mystery of the whole show, the influence upon me of the poetry, the lights, the music, the company, the smooth stupendous changes of glittering and brilliant scenery, were so dazzling, and opened up such illimitable regions of delight, that when I came out into the rainy street, at twelve o'clock at night, I felt as if I had come from the clouds, where I had been leading a romantic life for ages, to a bawling, splashing, link-lighted, umbrella-struggling, hackney-coach-jostling, patten-clinking, muddy, miserable world.

David Copperfield by Charles Dickens, "Chapter 19: I Look About Me, and Make a Discovery"

[thevagueambition]

Les Mis 1.1.4 thoughts

a lot of this post is about things that annoy me about christianity just fyi lol

Re Geborand, I'm reminded of something biblical scholar Dan McClellan has talked about (e.g. in this 2 min video) called the "prophetic critique" where various performances of piety are criticised in the old testament/tanakh. The context of that being that when the rich and powerful perform piety through these offerings and festivals while at the same time violating religious principles of mercy and charity, their offerings become sinful.

"There is M. Geborand purchasing paradise for a sou." is not quite the same thing, but it hits on this same idea of the public performance of piety with an ulterior motive in mind (whether social propriety or a ticket to paradise) not being paired with moral behavior

(I guess the text doesn't mention if Geborand starts behaving more morally alongside his charity, but how paltry said charity is certainly suggests not)

The bishop's use of local dialects contrasts with the FRev's dogmatic desire to define a french citizen as a speaker of standard french

Myriel's religious views frankly seem fairly similar to the sort of Christianity I was raised with (there are shitty conservative priests in my area as well, but not in my immediate community).

His virtue lies in correctly identifying the miserable as the inheritors of the earth and in acting according to his principles

The description of Myriel's beliefs does hit on a part of Christianity that deeply annoys me, though: the body as something bad which must be subordinated to the mind/soul ("Man has upon him his flesh, which is at once his burden and his temptation. He drags it with him and yields to it. He must watch it, cheek it, repress it, and obey it only at the last extremity.")

Why should the body be bad? It can cause you pain, of course. You can fall ill, you can get injured. But you can also embrace others, you can smell the smells of your home, you can eat your favourite dish. The body that hurts loves and feels pleasure, too. But then of course "pleasure" is exactly what's "dangerous" about the body – as if all pleasure was selfish and destructive 🙄

(I don't agree with the Descartean body/mind split in the first place. Imo you are your body. Your mind is part of your body.)

It relates somewhat to this other thing that irks me about Christianity -- and which I think might also actually be relevant to Myriel's development in this chapter, lol -- which is Christianity as a cope religion. It identifies the problems of the world -- illness, oppression, war -- and says "but if you're kind, if you dont break our rules, the afterlife will be wonderful." Like we don't have to fix the problems we have in the world because in the afterlife you will be free from suffering. Enduring the world piously is the goal, not making it better

(I'm aware that there are many Christians who don't think that way. My dad believes firmly in God and (his own personal interpretation of) the Bible and that's certainly not how his morals shake out. But that is an element in many permutations of Christianity)

Anyway where I think this might actually be relevant to Myriel is re "It is wrong to become absorbed in the divine law to such a degree as not to perceive human law." One interpretation of that is that if you focus exclusively on piety and the solace of divine judgement, it precludes you from perceiving injustice and brutality in the world and acting against it. An injust ruler may be condemned in the afterlife, but you should do something about him in this life, too

I think Hugo is probably right in saying that the death penalty is the sort of thing one can't be neutral on once one has seen it in action

Becaise it's one of the few pieces of leftist theory I actually have read and (mostly) understood, Walter Benjamin's Critique of Violence (Zur Kritik der Gewalt) it probably occupies an outsized prominence in my thinking on several things, buit in it Benjamin argues that the death penalty is the ultimate form of law establishing -- that the threat of violence(/force) behind law is what makes that law into a reality rather than a piece of writing and that in control over life and death being the ultimate form of violent power to hold over someone, capital punishemtn is useful for a legal system less because of its literal function and more because it so concretely manifests the law

"The opponents of these critics [of capital punishment] felt, perhaps without knowing why and probably involuntarily, that an attack on capital punishment assails not legal measure, not laws, but law itself in its origin. For if violence [...] is the origin of law, then it may be readily supposed that where the highest violence, that over life and death, occurs in the legal system, the origins of law jut manifestly and fearsomely into existence. In agreement with this is the fact that the death penalty in primitive legal systems is imposed even for such crimes as offenses against property, to which it seems quite out of "proportion." Its purpose is not to punish the infringement of law but to establish new law. For in the exercise of violence over life and death, more than in any other legal act, the law reaffirms itself." (online PDF version of source)

[occultruby]

i did this a while ago but heres my imscared white face gender transing theory diagram. putting explanation under the cut for... courtesy? the amount ive thought about this is kind of embarrassing

ok first off i think wf is genderless because its not human or even corporeal, its just a terrible little computer curse. if anything i honestly think its more aligned with the feminine. idk its weird to me that most people gender wf as a man when ivan zanotti (hello sir if youre reading this im sorry) at least from the perspective of an english speaker, has pretty much done everything to avoid gendering wf at all (only ever having used “it” pronouns for wf! hello!), besides the only other appearances of humanoid forms (also wf) being coded as women/images of womanhood/concept of womanhood/whatever

down to business. maybe it isnt as specific as this but a potential idea is the entity being made and intended to be female or at least read as female. since it clearly is sentient and keeping in line with the knowledge that wf is not human and isnt the ghost of the deceased, i dont think its hard to believe wf would not only not understand gender, but also feel constrained by it. if the question is “why would it give a shit” my answer is 1. throughout the game its pretty clear that wf doesnt like being constrained, literally or metaphorically and 2. the same reason any actual person would feel trapped and uncomfortable with their assigned gender or any gender. it comes with expectations for how you should act, look, talk, where you should go, and what you should do there.

the sketch labeled “original” isnt really literal, more of an idea of “someone made a computer virus and its a girl i guess”. HER i think is what white face perceives itself to be, and therefore becomes, as its world is essentially made of its own imagination

everything about HER screams “caricature of womanhood” just straight up This Is How Dysphoria Makes You Think You Look. her huge [REDACTED] and hips/thighs, cinched waist, exaggerated limp wrist, and absurdly long hair. her name is literally “HER”. HER is white faces experience of feeling “this is all i am”, an embodiment of unwanted expectations.

what in general we know to be “white face” is the same entity, named for its appearance as a floating head. i read this as wf hiding its body (something that could be done by editing its own code to make it invisible) but i visually represent it as a black cloak. i also thought a neat but kind of odd idea would be wrapping itself up in its own long dark hair?

on the events of the game. the important part lies in the transition from the first part into BURY HER, in which wf changes into HER, making its body visible and adopting somewhat different behaviors (which seem to communicate a more depressed demeanor and an instinct to self isolate/hide). wf if pretty clear with the player that it makes this change to keep the players interest. personally i have known other trans people who, despite knowing they were trans and going through some levels of social transition, will go back to performing their assigned gender in an attempt to please someone whose approval they desire. and like in real life, wfs practice isnt sustainable. wfs monologue before shooting HER has SO much to dig into. of course it established that it made this change for You. but then, the rain turns to blood as it bitterly remarks that it hates what it became (knowing that wf feels like the mask of HER takes the players interest away from itself, meaning that even if HER and wf are the same entity, wf does not identify as HER. in the end its just an act to impress you). the part that gets me the most about the grave level is that she specifically tells You to “bury [HER] in front of [HER] birthplace”. she was already dead and buried. wf dug her up for You. even though You are the one playing the game, wf is the one seen with the gun. in the end, it was about wf once again burying this past version of itself that it cannot stand any longer.

i dont think it hits as hard as the main events of BURY HER, but im going to come back around to the concept of all figures in the game being coded as women. in the labyrinth we see the various portions of womens bodies (which some people use to theorize that wf is a serial killer but this is nothing to me because. it wasnt a human person lol) that lead into/are portals to a “dark world” (the whole thing with having to reconstruct shards of a broken mirror also kind of screams dysphoria, the whole dress thing! idek how to put this into words im just feeling it), the portrait of a girl in the house (maybe an “original vision” for what wf was intended to be? wfs one source for what a “woman” is?). you could argue that the weird little things with the long arms when youre trying to break the gramophones arent female but 1. literally whatever and 2. theyre essentially extensions of HER made to be mini jumpscares and 3. i think they parallel the “you shouldnt be here” area where HER is seen hanging from the sky by weird distended limbs.

we know wf is entirely unreliable and likely s completely lying on occasion. but i think lies, especially in a game like this, can be dissected to discover something truthful in the narrative. something so specific is the story wf tells about having a brother that it had horrible thoughts about getting hurt in an appliance store, only to reveal that it never had a brother. this is in one of the more vulnerable text files in the game. im gonna go on a limb here and say the story isnt literal, but also does hold significance. no one is reading at this point and its 2:30 so im going to word this more abstractly because thinking is getting harder and i have a 9am class. brother/not real brother is about an imagined person, who wf wants to be or how it perceives itself to be. like it is metaphorically the brother that it doesnt have because it WANTS to be that. honestly if you wanted to you could argue this point works towards the idea that wf is a trans man because of the idea that it wants to be a man but doesnt perceive itself to be a real man so it tells the story of a brother it does/doesnt/is/isnt/wants to be. the whole thing about being injured in the appliance store probably means something about the fragility of the concept or identity or whateverless complicated idea came to me like two paragraphs ago. and its that imscared is about coping with the loss of a sibling by trying to recreate their identity as a program but that its inherently impossible (program saying “i never had a brother” because the brother MADE u to be his sibling but you ARENT because you are just a little game file) but like i got too invested in white face transgender ANYWAYS SO IMSCARED IS OFFICIALLY ABOUT GENDER DYSPHORIAAAAAAA

[revol-lover]

dreams don’t end at “30″

so i just had a little breakthrough and maybe this wont sound like anything to anyone else but i just have to share it

so i’ve talked about this before. about how my friend and i were both planning these personal development like goals for this year that covid got in the way of. and he said something, about how this is his last year in his 20s and he wanted to get some goals accomplished before 30 

and i thought about that and realized something.

i have been feeling similarly about a few goals that i’ve been hanging onto for years and years. like i’m going to be honest with you, some people might remember this if you’ve been around here for a long time but probably not. anyway when i was in high school i really wanted to make music, sing, learn an instrument. and i did make some covers that i posted on myspace (showing my age here lol) and youtube but then i kind of gave up on it when

 1) became 18 and realized my dream to go to NYC and pursue music when i was 18 wasn’t happening because of a million reasons (it was very much a pipe dream, right? i mean you can’t have that dream and not prepare for it and i didnt. also i was too scared at the time to even move out to my own place if i had the funds to do so because my parents wouldnt have really approved and i was still so under their thumb) 

2) broke up with my musician boyfriend. which needed to happen. but he was the only person super passionate about that kind of goal at the time around me (till he ran lol)  and he actually is still doing music now so good for him but basically 

because of those 2 reasons i just let go of that dream all together as something i thought i wanted to do but was “unrealistic”.

but the thing about turning 30 and feelings like you needed to achieve all these personal/dreamy/goals in your 20s. what is that bullshit? why? 

what changes when you cross over to 30? i’ll tell you one thing. media pushes movies, books, films, everything about people chasing their dreams in their 20s and “settling” down in their 30s. where’s my inspiring movie about the 32 year old mom who finally wrote a song and performed it live after being terrified her whole life of doing so?

 think about it though

in your 30s you. *might* have a better paying job than you did in your 20s. which means, if you can manage to find time or a way for it, you *might* be able to save a little more money or afford to do something like, buy that guitar and guitar lessons in order to learn to play and write a song and live out your dream in some way, even if its just learning to play so you can play at an open mic. and maybe you’ll like that and you’ll somehow connect with likeminded people and form a band. idk. your dreams dont have to end in your 20s. 

you dont have to fall into the trap of your 20s are for your dreams that are so big you feel like the chance of achieving them is getting struck by lightening

and then your 30s are for fancy adult goals like buying a house, and going on a $10k vacation and those things are probably just as hard as the goals you had in your 20s but the world wont make you see it that way. its seen as “selfish” to prioritize and budget for your artistic goals - but not a house. no that’s responsible and what you “should” do. but its ok to prioritize something that’s going to give your soul fulfillment too! we need to believe that! because it’s true. we are not here just to work our jobs and live mundane colorless lives once we aren’t considered “young” anymore (but 30s are still young. not what i’m saying)

 you’re always going to be chasing something big and if you let the world control what that thing is you’re always going to be on some rat race. 

it’s fine if you achieve your goals in a different order than the world says you were supposed to. i got married young and had a child young, that was how my life played out and i’m happy with that because, yes, finding love and becoming a mother very much were goals of mine.

yes i dropped out of college because i couldn’t afford it and i couldnt find a major that felt worth being in debt for. and also, because hey guess what? contrary to what a lot of people will try to lead you to believe, college is not for everyone. and college does not = success. college drop out does not = failure. it’s just an option of something you could do with your life. AND if you didn’t go to your college in your 20s it doesnt mean you can’t in your 30s. or 50s. hell my husband, who did go to college saw elderly (think, 80s!) people going to his college as students! college isn’t just for 18 year olds fresh out of high school. 

My 27th birthday is in 2 weeks and no, i have not yet to worked up the courage to write an original song from words to music, or have the courage to get on a stage and sing anything, or talk to a stranger, or publish any of my writing or art, goals i’ve had whirling around in my brain since I was 18, but, it’s going to happen. maybe this year. maybe when i’m 35, but it’s going to happen. a number is not going to be the thing holding me back.

that whole mentality of “my youth is slipping away i need to achieve all these dreams before midnight the day of my 30th birthday” is so stupid and flawed and we all deserve to see ourselves, and our individual potential as more than that. 

last part of this rant - one of the reason i even became so passionate about reignighting some of my dusty, old goals, that it turned out, i still cared about, is because i had a moment where i was like

ok i am a mom. i am someones mom. how will my daughter see me, as a person, not just her mom? 

kevin and i always talk about how between the two of us we’ve both had a lot of quintessential young adult experiences that we look forward to sharing with her. like, quitting jobs, getting in car accidents, that one time i unknowingly participated in an illegal bonfire and ran from the cops then lied straight to their faces and somehow got away with it (literally my ONE act of teen rebellion), changing college majors like 3 years in (kevin), failed classes, tried cigarettes, etc like i’m ready, and hope that one day she will feel comfortable talking to us about things because we’ve been through things and have a lot of input and two different perspectives to offer

but further than that, i realized that i want her to know that her mom is a person too. i want her to know that mom is also passionate about writing, and music, and somehow tackled some of her goals in regards to that so that SHE can feel that SHE, too can do those things. and i know that, that is in part how it works 

because,

my dad IS an artist. my dad IS a musician. yall. my dad is SO talented.  my dad is brilliant. besides his artistic abilities which include, drawing literal realistic as fuck portraits, sculpting, painting, playing guitar, bass, piano, mandolin, he also knows music composition, etc etc etc beyond all of that, he also taught himself fucking PLUMBING and ELECTRICIAN SHIT to fix things in our house growing up. like he bought a book. and taught himself. my dad. i grew up thinking that was normal but i realized not everyones dad can just tear down the bathroom and rebuild it from scratch down to the plumbing without being a licensed professional.

but anyway the point is - as talented as my dad is, he doesnt really pursue his artistic dreams much. and its sad. i’m glad that i’ve seen some of the work he did when he was younger. i’m glad that if i bring it up, he’ll show me something he can do. but he doesnt pursue it anymore really. my dad works an exhausting physical labor job but even he, as a 50something year old has fallen into that trap of like, i dont have time to draw, but he will scroll his phone and read articles for hours and i’m not shaming him. i’m just saying we all have this problem in the modern era of technology and social media and what not (hell i am writing a post on tumblr instead of my book right now).

but if timing was different and my dad grew up in a different time, where lets say something distracted him from doing the little bit of art and music that he did when i was a kid that i was able to witness, if i hadnt seen that. i wouldnt know that.. in a way.. that’s in me. i mean, he’s my dad. if my dad could pick up a craft and work at it to be good at it, why can’t i? there are so many musicians and (kind unrelated but not rly - i think being “self made” is an art) business owners in my family. there’s either some common thread in our genetics ORRRRRRRRRR just growing up around people working at and succeeding at those kinds of goals shows you that it CAN be done so you’re more likely to believe in your abilities

and i want that for my daughter. because even as an almost 3 year old i can see that she has a gift for music, and reading. and even if i’m wrong about that and she grows up wanting to do some other thing as a job or hobby, i want her to know, by seeing her mom do it, that she can achieve anything she puts her heart to. you don’t have to box yourself in because of your age or your sex or the fact that you’re a parent. 

and your dream doesnt have to become your career. it can be a hobby and still be fulfilling. like yes, 18 year old me dreamed about some life in nyc singing in clubs or bars or whatever and being ~famous (lol) and that did not happen, but i can still get out there and play open mic downtown and get that love of music, and desire to face my fear of performing out of my system. maybe i’ll love it. maybe i’ll hate it. but i’ll have done it. and that’s the ultimate goal. 

sorry i went off but i had to get that out of my system and i’m very passionate about 

[umbillicalnoose]

i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.

[idontevenknowmanidek]

"I wanna be a star!" Pt. 1: Audition

Life as a porn star was nothing like Nita expected. She thought it was all orgasms and easy money, but her company had her working hard. 2 workouts daily, heavily regulated diet, and filming everyday. The money was good though.

From day one, everything was different than she expected. When she went to sign up to a talent agency, she thought she'd be walking in to some sleazy building filled with gross old guys, not that that wouldve stopped her from moving forward with her "acting' goals. But the building she walked up to was a tall, sleek no-nonsense type place. It was all bright and shiny and everyone there looked hotttt. It was hard to tell who was an actor and who was an office worker. She walked in to speak to the receptionist, who was a sweet, bubbly young woman by the name of Lisa, and was directed up to the 7th floor. Thats were interviews were held.

In the elevator the sounds of smooth jazz filled her ears and set her at ease. "This is awesome!" She thought. In no time, she was walking out into a well furnished office. It was somwhow dark and comforting at the same time. A man sat at the desk in the middle of the room, scribbling on some papers, but the sound of the opening elevator alerted him.

"Ah! You must be Anita Paul. Come, sit down." He stood as she approached and shook her hand. "Would you like a drink?" He gestured at a glass pitcher on his desk and she nodded. Smoothly, he poured a serving into two glasses and placed one in front of her. She thanked him as she took the glass and took a sip, surprised to taste orange seltzer water.

"Good isn't it?"

"Mhm! Wow, that was super refreshing!"

"I'm glad you like it Anita. Now, lets get started. My name is Grant Downing, or Mr. Downing if you so please. Tell me, what brings you to us today?"

"Oh, well... I'm a performer. Its all I've ever wanted to do in life, be in front of a camera. But I like having fun. Being in a drama or a rom-com doesn't interest me much, they arent as fun as... Well, this."

"Interesting. Since you like being on camera so much, would you mind doing the next section while video taped? I just need to see how the camera reacts to you, see you in action, you know?"

"Oh that is absolutely no problem, Mr. Downing." Anita adjusted herself in her armchair, flipping her long, dark hair behind her ears and sitting up straighter, so her breasts poked out a bit. Meanwhile, Grant was setting up a small tripod beside his desk. A little red light began to flash, letting her know the camera was on and rolling.

"Now, I'm going to ask you a few more questions and then, I'll run you through some exercises. Sound good?"

Anita nodded and beamed at the camera.

"So Anita, have you ever had sex before?"

The question made her smile fade a bit. It was times like this that she was grateful for her dark skin, noone could see her blush, but it didn't stop her from feeling the heat riaing in her cheeks.

"No, sir." She said, quietly.

"What a surprise. A pretty girl like you, still a virgin and at 24. Why does a virgin want to be a porn star?"

" Uhm, well... I've never had sex with another person, but ive had plenty of experience with sex toys and the like. I'm a very curious person, you see. I'm also cautious, so while the opportunity has presented itself in the past, ive never done more than hand jobs and other forms of outercourse."

"Thank you for sharing Anita. Next question. What is your sexual orientation?"

Anita let out a sigh of relief at the change of topic.

"I consider myself Queer."

"So, you wouldnt mind having sex with a man or a woman, cis or otherwise?"

"Oh not at all, Ive had partners with all sorts of different identities. Nonbinary, cis woman, trans woman, etc. I do tend to lean more femme in terms of my attraction, but i have dated men and masculine folks as well."

"Good, I'm glad youre open to different things. So, how do you feel about roleplay?"

"I think I might be most excited for that! It'll give me a chance to show off my acting chops and I'll get to try something new all the time!"

"Do you have any hard limits?"

'Hmm.. Yes, i dont think I'd like to do too much with bodily fluids or anything too painful. I dont mind a little pain here and there, but I think if it were geared towards sadism and masochism, i wouldn't be into it as much."

"Noted." Grant said, reaching over and scribbling something. He glanced at his watch. "How do you feel, Anita?"

Anita paused for a moment and thought. She felt good. Really good. She was comfortable in the chair and in front if Mr. Downing. Anita wasnt a prude or anything, but she typically wasnt the most forthright when it came to sex and her body. She guessed ti was just because it was her boss... er, possible future boss, that she was tlaking to that put her at ease. Its a job for porn, there are no secrets, she thought

"I'm feeling great, Mr. Downing"

"Good. Now, I'm going to ask you to list out some of your fantasies for me. While doing this, you may begin to feel aroused and thats perfectly okay. If you want to, you can touch yourself while talking abt these fantasies, but only above the clothes. Understand?"

"Yes, Mr. Downing. Uhm, I geuss my biggest fantasy would be a gangbang... I love the idea of being used by multiple people at once. All those hands over my body." Anita shivered at the thought. The warmth that was once in her cheeks moved lower, to a very different part of her body.

"I also fantasize about being tied up to once of those siban things, and having to ride that for a long time, orgasm after orgasm ripping through me."

"Keep going Anita, tell me more."

By this point, she was dripping with desire, it was as though a faucet had been left on.

"Mmm. I like the idea of using a double sided dildo on someone. One side in me, the other side in them and I'm using it to fuck them. And every thrust I give them, i also feel. Sometimes in this fantasy, there's someone else behind me, hitting it from the back, thrusting in time with me." Anita had begun to rub herself over her slacks. Why did i have to dress sensibly?

"Stop." Mr. Downing barked out, and Anita immediately stopped speaking and masturbating. "Thats enough of your fantasies, thank you. The question part is now over, time for some exercises."

"Stand up with your arms out and give me a spin." Without hesitation, Anita stood and spun slowly for Mr. Downing to see her. "Anita, take your clothes off." In no time, she stood before him, her slacks and blouse, crumpled on the floor before her. As her hand began to reach for her bra, he stopped her.

"Thats more than enough. Kneel, Anita. Legs spread wide." She lowered herself to the ground, settling in the position he described.

"Now we are going to see how well you can act. Grope your breasts and moan."

Her hands began to snake up her body, grabbing and pulling at her breasts through her lacy bra.

"Mmm, Ohhh." Her nipples began to harden and poked at her hands.

"Louder! More forceful. Come on Anita, you've seen porn before."

Anita redoubled her efforts moaning more loudly.

"Unnff. Yeah! MMMM!"

"There you go! Here, take it and use it. Youve got the job if you can come in less than a minute." He handed her a thick vibrator which she gladdly accepted. Turning it on to the highest setting, she got to work and starting playing with herself, moaning wantonly the entire time. 45 seconds in, she came mindshatteringly hard.

"Welcome to the family Anita. Now, take the elevator down to the bottom floor, you'll get your onboarding papers and watch the training video there."

He helped her up and uahered her towarsa the elevator.

"But.. My clothes?"

"Oh you wont need them now" he chuckled. With a smile and a wave, he sent her on her way

[charityhopevalentines]

A Long Overdue Review of  “My Fair Lady”

-i saw her just a little after Laura had had a cold and I was BEYOND THRILLED when I saw she was going on that night!

-can i just say how much i ADORED hearing an actual overture at the beginning of a show?! like an actual overture made up of several songs from the show? bring overtures back!

-laura is really brilliant and breathes new life into eliza. she humanizes the character and makes her more than the of a caricature guttersnipe she is supposed to be even from the beginning. Everything Eliza does is with the thoughtful intention of becoming a lady and honestly her acting is just superb.it is honest. It possesses an intelligence and gravity I’ve never seen before in the character.

-you could really see the desire for more in her eyes especially during “Wouldnt it be loverly” which was basically choreographed like the movie

-her cockney accent was okay. I mean I didnt really expect it to be perfect and it surprisingly didnt bother me that much (being the Julie Andrews purist that I am). I thought her high class accent was better though, however in her dramatic final scene it did come and go a little with the heightened emotion but honestly it really didn’t hinder her performance for me. 

-Her “aaaooowwws” were more low key but probably more realistic and not as caricaturish. 

-you really felt Eliza’s exhaustion and frustration with everything Higgins was doing(but it a very realistic way), which made him look like a far worse character than he has been portrayed as in the past, and rightly so I would say because it exposes him. 

-HER VOICE IS SO BEAUTIFUL. I mean wowww. I’ve heard her sing many times from Gypsy and Women on the Verge but she was never really required to sing the way she does in this and it sounded very operatic with lots of vibrato and it was magical. I don't know why I was so delightfully surprised, I knew she had a great voice before but it felt like yesss this is the show you needed to show off your instrument. “I Could’ve Danced All Night” was absolutely a dream and I will never forget it.

-the rotating set was super cool(only used for higgin’s house: library(two stories with couch, spiral metal staircase, desk, wooded banister, chair obs books, hallway with wood staircase, bathroom with shower for that one scene, and a small outside area which wasnt used)  it was beautifullll omggg. also as it was turning laura would do quickchanges and I was so impressed with how she did what looked like were really complicated changes in a very short amount of time

- Harry Hadden-Paton, who played Higgins was really great and I feel like he has gotten even better from the first time I saw him in August. He grew into the role and was much funnier and energized than before (maybe because of Laura?) He did a great Rex Harrison-esque voice and sang the songs very well but it made me a little sad because for an actor who can actually sing it must be a rather limiting role and Harrison’s shadow is cast in such a way that he feels the need to imitate him because I guess thats what they think we expect but I feel like the audience would’ve been fine with just an average higher class english accent but I enjoyed it.

- the man who played her father was good but I didnt find him super likeable and I think he’s supposed the kind of character who isnt really the best morally but is so charismatic you have to like him?? but it was ok

-during the ball scene there was a grand staircase at stage left which made for super lovely entrances as you can imagine. the orchestra was onstage during the ball and it was soooo cool to see them actually playing the music as people danced to it. I dont know why it struck me as so special because we all know shows have orchestras but they became characters in the show for a while “musicians” playing “musicians” and I thought it was special. like we don’t think about it often but we take the fact that there is a live orchestra for granted yet we never really see them. also the scene was so beautiful! there were gorgeous chandeliers and it was very stylized yet simple. all of the dancing and waltzing was so romantic and it was just beautiful honestly. also laura looked stunning but i think they could’ve picked an even better color for her because it was off-white and i wasnt absolutely in love with it.

-SHE IS SO FREAKING HILARIOUS *which we already knew* but just the little things she did were so fing hysterical. The scene where she's talking to Higgin’s mother and other high class people at the races was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. When she was saying “how do you do” to everyone she copied their vocal pattern for how they said it, which was different every time and when she got to Freddy he didn't say it so she mouthed “how do you do” and then looked panicky at Higgins like “wtf do i do?” The scene with the fire and saying “hah” to make the flame jump was so funny because once she got it she was like “hah, hah-hah, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah. hah-hah-hah-hah-hah..etc” and was moving back and forth with each hah in her chair and I died. There were a lot of other little things that were super funny too. 

-i feel like the move your bloomin arse line isnt even funny anymore because everyone knows its coming-but is it supposed to be funny?

-get me to the church on time was one of the most energized and fun parts of the show i mean it was really ALIVE and it made you want to get up and dance. It really had the feel of a lot of drunk friends together having a big party at a london pub and there was a lot of dancing and DRAG! there were men dressed as showgirls and one as a bride and a woman in a tuxedo and it was obviously for comedic effect but yass! It was one of the highlights of the show!

-Laura’s “Show Me” didnt really work as well as I thought it would. I saw the understudy Freddy so maybe that’s why but I feel like moments they tried to make comedic really didn’t sit as well with the audience as they would’ve liked. I think it needed more rage? and i wasnt really feeling the release of frustration?? which is ironic because she was so good at conveying it before?? but maybe she was saving it for the last big scene (she wore a pink outfit which looked sooo beautiful on her though omg it was like baby pink-i loved that color on her) 

-on the street where you live was classic and beautiful and just as romantic as we all imagine it to be and the background of a pinkish/purple sky really added to the mood.

-their dynamic(her and higgins) was very equal and they were clearly on the same plane the entire time because of the similarity in their ages(which made their relationship in the end a lot better I think and not creepy like in the past imo)  as well as Laura’s interpretation of the character which showed she was just as emotionally and mentally intelligent, except she really didn’t come into her own and realize this until the scene at the end which was soooo satisfyinggg.

-HER ACTING IN THE SCENE WHERE SHE REALIZES SHE DOESNT NEED HIGGINS WAS SUPERB. it had the same strength and power of the dressing room scene at the end of gypsy and i was blown away.

-i really liked the feminist ending where after he says “where the devil are my slippers” she runs into the audience and up the stairs out of the theatre (its an amphitheater) like she has finally found love but doesn’t depend on that and has finally found herself and that is the most important thing. (also she run up the side closest to me and i freaked out realizing she got that close i was like AHHH!)

-I LOVED THE SHOW! It was better than the first time I saw it! It totally lived up to the original production while not being an exact copy and I am so glad I got a second chance to see it! Brava Laura! Im so glad I got to see her in her dream role!

[dramazones]

Oh Wow! Im finally here with a headcanon birth chart and analysis for jamie!

i'm on mobile so I cant even put this long ass post under a read more i am so fucking sowwy but anyways a lot of this was inspired from dewmie-in 's meta posts and also i rlly love astrology so pls follow them first of all or else ur a fake fan shhfhgjsjkfkd

☀️ ♓︎ Pisces Sun ♓︎ ☀️

There is no doubt that Jamie is a pisces sun. Some of the well known characteristics of a piscean are being the artistic ones, the ones more in touch with their emotions and the absolute dreamers of the zodiac, I can assure you this as a mercury and moon piscean!

And it’s quite obvious that these traits 100% match up to jamie’s surface character being a big theater nerd, writer, poet, and as an actor, he HAS to understand emotion in all its forms! While being the more compassionate of signs, that also comes with sympathy, and maybe even empathy.

to which he expresses when he tells steven that a good story with a quality protagonist HAS to include said protagonists struggles as well, now this might be a reach but perhaps this was self projecting after his own struggles in kansas, maybe even foreshadowing ooOoOh

(“a real hero must struggle” jamie struggles living in kansas, moves back to beach city, nails his first production and gains management position @ the theater, aka his heroic ending i guess idk, then more theater related accomplishments as mentioned in letters to lars ofc)

☽♎︎ Libra Moon ♎︎☽

One of the biggest desires for any libra placement is balance, And the moon sign being the emotion sign, Libra moons desire an emotional balance as much as they do in their environment. Libra Moons can also be known as a “people person” while typically depending on the study of others to lean their own nature.

Jamie fits the Libra moon description being a sort of people person himself. Though he’s capable of keeping a friendly conversation with just about anyone, There’s also no doubt that this guy has severe anxiety that affects his communication with others along with his emotional stability (even affecting him physically). The thing is that he’s managed to keep the anxiety and his social skills much more balanced the more we see him or i guess as time passes, not one of them overpowering the other. (see venus in scorpio as to why he limits himself socially as much as he would his anxiety)

While he desires emotional balance that also comes with a feeling of frustration and defeat when things are even slightly out of balance (also a symptom of anxiety ; easily irritated/defeated) such as his improv performance in letters to lars, ending his performance within a minute after feeling overwhelmed as it started going south.

So while there are several moments of him maintaining an emotional balance he also has another side of the scale that’s less balanced (astrology word play lmao) such as a general lifestyle balance, also nonexistent for jamie (even though your lifestyle heavily affects your behavior) in a sense that he lacks of a healthy sleep schedule being a mailman AND an actor, one occurring from the early morning to the afternoon and the other job occurring at night. Probably irrelevent but its MY sleepover and Ill add as much necessary info in this birth chart reading as i please.

Im also including buddys book as an example because though it was only jamie being the faceclaim for buddy theres no denying that since historical friction theres at least some parallels between the two characters sharing the same traits (being writers, returning to beach city to prosper in their careers, being absolute drama kings)

♀️♏︎ Scorpio Venus ♏︎♀️

One of the biggest aspects to Jamie’s character INCLUDES being an absolute sucker for romance so lets get this bread and talk abt his relationships w/ everyone and his views on love uwu

Scorpio being a water sign means healing is one of the largest aspects to the sign. Healing nonetheless comes with a relation to trauma being from the planet representing death itself. Life and Death go hand in hand to define each other, ya feel me.

while were on the topic of death lets bring back the parallelism between jamie and buddy thats been around since historical friction. in the play buddy is presumed dead up until william reaches beach city. ok. so hear me out. perhaps that was foreshadowing for jamie’s traumatic near death encounter with topaz and aqua. remember how I said the water element represents healing as well as trauma??? It all kinda ties in yall...

ANYWAYS It’s safe to say that Jamie is a person that’s been through his rock bottom AND trauma already (his death if you will), struggling to live a happy, or even regular (lets face it as far as we know the only thing he came back to beach city with was sunglasses, bitch was broke) life in kansas, the abduction, its not something you can heal from overnight. While he does show symptoms of severe anxiety (to say the very least) even after the abduction he’s also grown closer to working on healing, moving on from his overwhelming fear of rejection by prospering in theater (him coming back to life if u will), and as for anything directly related to the abduction is unknown, but its very likely he’s working on moving on from that on his own as far as we know!!

which brings up the next trait of a scorpion venusian! They prefer to be a mystery in order to protect themselves as a result of fear of getting hurt for trusting/opening up too much. The first time we see jamie since the abduction is during the re-election in dewey wins, where he doesn’t seem affected at all. Yes, Jamie is a pretty open book for the most part (see dewmie-in’s analogy to in/out of the closet in historical friction) however theres also moments where he limits himself, or perhaps another side to himself, a far more passionate side…

Holding back tears during his drama zone and waiting until hes alone to be excited abt delivering his letter in love letters, playing it cool when earning theater director position in historical friction, not to mention his room SHOULD play a very huge role in his secretive side. (see brodingle’s post on jamie’s room, his casual side vs his passionate side)

the venus in scorpio (or any scorpio placement rlly) also remains a secret not truly by choice, but theyre also studying others of interest. being an actor, Jamie should know a thing or two on body language and raw emotion as he sees it.

And finally, The venus is scorpio is a devoted, passionate, and emotionally attached lover. in love letters he falls for someone easily, and even if he learned in the end love at first sight isnt real he is most definitely the type to fall easily based on emotional connection alone! Also, his fear of rejection can easily play into his love life as well. Being in kansas getting constantly rejected and returning back home out of not just defeat but most likely homesickness as well. He missed his stable job. he wants stability, loyalty, commitment! yeah ok thts all i got for now ladies!

♂️♍︎ Virgo Mars ♍︎♂️

Mars being the planet of impulsiveness, energy, initiation and “doing it” being born under the sign of doing it efficiently and orderly gives a handful of traits that completely match up to Jamie and the way he puts out his energy into the world

Jamie has been the type to not just instantly put his energy into something new, but he’s also put his energy into mastering said thing! While Mars is the planet of impusiveness, Virgo is the sign of patience, the Virgo mars is a firm believer of practice makes perfect, and striving for overall perfect, which does in fact get overwhelming for Jamie the perfectionist.

In historical friction, though hesitant, he was not afraid to critique and analyze dewey’s writing skills. And although he was anxious again to go against deweys script and use pearls version instead, he went with pearls because he desperately needed to execute his first play flawlessly. this also occurs again in letters to lars, when his improv performance doesnt go as planned he doesnt just end it from there, in fact, he still has that sense of patience to critique his cast members on stage before getting completely irritated when they dont comply. imo its important to note this duality of patience and impulsiveness because this is an anxiety inducing combination that heavily matches up to Jamies energy.

it’s also important to bring Jamie’s room back in this, because while it was creepy as shit its also FILLED with books, and has really fancy stationery meaning he is in fact a writer. The Mars in Virgo is an attentive to detail oriented person, and being a writer, Jamie not only reads others’ works, he records his own with plenty of detail as seen in his love letter to garnet. Its in his nature by now to have an eye for detail as seen in his room, his costumes, his writing, etc.

Its very likely that his venus and his mars sign do sort of relate in a sense of the way he will present himself. The virgo mars wants a deep connection as the next person but refuses to express that “passionate side” as much as others, preferring to remain casual or present a “cool exterior” which plays into the venus in scorpio’s preference for a secretive side or to remain a mystery.

lets also not forget Jamie’s mime performance in Sadie’s Song. His body language easily read as excited and desperate for perfectionism. Theres no denying he spent time and energy into his act, probably studying mimes and all lol

plus the virgo mars being an attentive to detail type of person, scorpio venus’ silent study on their person of interest and libra moon’s dependance on the study of others to learn how to express emotion when and where and how all tie into each other. Jamie depends on detail before well, doing! he is the type to not just think before acting but hes also gotten quite anxious overthinking as well!

The Taurus Ascendant is a sucker for stability, loyalty, especially to their passions with change being their biggest weakness, very fitting to Jamie. Stability is what made Jamie return to beach city from Kansas because he was not used to such a drastic change in an unstable life, doing the absolute opposite of prospering in his acting career, another big desire for a taurus rising btw, they thrive for success!

They also need a sense of security and any chance at risking that security is a big no-no for the Taurus Ascendant. Jamie’s constant fear of rejection, his anxiety before a production that could make or break his career, he desires a sense of reassurance and security that will assure him that things will not turn out as horribly as his anxiety’s (cough drama zone cough) made it out to be.

⬆️♉︎ Taurus Rising ♉︎⬆️

now, in Reunited, hes completely moved on from garnet at this point. This takes places after the abduction, the only thing that would really be on his mind rn is healing and finding peace again with himself and in his surroundings. while hes handled this healing process alone (as far as we know) hes also learned about what he wants for himself including his love life. seeing garnet extremely happy and married and all makes him defeated for a moment not because “uUuuUUhH shes the one that got away!” its because he truly desires a passionate and devoted relationship as ruby and sapphires! which brings up the next topic!

In relationships, the Taurus Ascendant won't easily break up with someone they gave their heart to. Jamie wants a partner thats going to be as devoted and passionate as himself. He needs that sense of commitment and loyalty from someone and probably wouldn’t handle something as emotionless as one night stands for example! Any taurus placement has the same desires for romance as scorpio placements to be quite honest here, im just sayin as a venus in taurus and scorpio rising lmao.

🌊 Water Dominant 🌊

Ok so the thing is heres the thing. Out of all four astrological elements, Jamie exudes water energy the most, then earth, then fire, and lastly air. He’s not just an emotional person, he’s also an optimistic person, even when he overthinks things, he continuously looks into the future rather than his past so I think its important to note he also has that “psychic” aspect to him as well as having a strong sense of someone else’s emotions as much as his own.

let me also add in dewmie-in’s post where they point out tht jamie does in fact have a literal reocurring theme with water so even if he turns out to like not be a water sun sign in canon (highly doubt there will ever be a canon bday for him lmao the entire point of this post tho) theres no way hes gonna not be associated with water coincidentally. so if u didnt read their post tldr: being a fucking buffoon in the literal rain, throwing letters into the ocean, staring at the ocean on his free time, (aka during working ours, worlds okayest mailman) cries easily, buddy dying in water, jamie nearly being killed as instructed by a gem named aqua, jamie surviving in water after being THROWN off the ship. (i added a few more btw hshfhhdjd)

so yeah thats that on that, theres plenty more planet placements than that in a birth chart but i just felt like doing the usual ones i guess :P

[clarz-cc-archive]

answered June 3, 2020

Q: while i agree with you on your thoughts about bts as activists and personally feel that with the platform they have, they can definitely benefit from being more active, i’ve also seen a lot of people using them being un ambassadors as a reason for them to do so. the thing is, though, and this i maybe just me as a political science student speaking, the un is a highly flawed organisation that greatly works to keep the current power balance in place and i honestly dont know how much actual meaning we can attribute to titles like un ambassador. sorry i dont know where exactly i’m going with this, i guess i just never really gave much importance to their role as un ambassadors and its not really needed to justify bts’ responsibility to speak up (in response to)

A: i also see it as a largely ceremonial position, like honestly i could never figure out what their stance was at the un anyway aside from "don't bully people," and "violence is bad," which are BARELY stances at all. my issue with the un ambassador title is that by accepting it, bts is positioning themselves as a socially conscious group with a desire to perform advocacy. for them to have that position where they can get praise for being socially and politically conscious, while also declining to actually promote any specific political causes, feels to me like wanting to have your cake and eat it too. as a group they want the image of being socially aware while also wanting to avoid ANY of the backlash that can come from taking a side on social or political current events.

it's a good marketing move, but i don't really see it as anything deeper than a marketing move, personally. i think it's nice that they want to inspire people to do good even if that's in a very vague way (and i do think that they have a genuine desire to spread good), and i also think it's nice that they're able to give speeches where they're treated like serious people with serious ideas, especially when pop music and boy bands are often so maligned as deeply un-serious, but i also don't know if they can make that marketing move and then act surprised when people want them to speak about real issues and get upset when they don't. big old shrug!

[rickrakontoys]

Pre-Infinity War MCU rankings

How I'd rank the current 18 movies, from my least favorite to most favorite, with some brief thoughts:

18. The Incredible Hulk (5/10): I barely remember this one... and I dont like Hulk's look here. Liv Tyler gasps all her dialogue. Ed Norton did an ok job I guess, but I didnt get much of a lasting impression.

17. Iron Man 2 (6/10): I remember being extremely annoyed by Tony and his behavior, and the blatant Avengers setups. Least we got War Machine out of this. Whiplash could have been great if he didnt have to share the villain role with Justin Hammer. (Also, without this mess, we wouldn't have gotten Jon Faverau's amazing film "Chef", which was made in response to his frustrations making IM2)

16. Thor: The Dark World (6/10): Forgettable plot and villain. Some chuckle worthy scenes. Not sure what else there is to say. You could tell the movie was butchered trying to fit Loki into the plot. There is barely any chemistry between Thor and Jane.

15. Thor (7/10): Decent intro to the characters and world of Asgard. But the movie looks strangely cheap, especially the New Mexico town. I never felt Thor and Jane could be a thing, despite their performances being good. The cast all around was terrific too (Hopkins as Odin is great). Loki was a great, tragic villain though. Thor breaking the bifrost is immediately undone by the Avengers...

14. Iron Man 3 (7.25/10): I enjoyed the deconstruction of Stark and common comic book tropes. What they did with the Mandarin was pretty ballsy and I respect that. I don't even remember the true villain's name... Having Tony deal with PTSD was also interesting.

13. Ant-Man (7.25/10): Surprising that this worked at all. Pretty fun ride, if a tad generic. Cool shrinking visuals. I look forward to the Wasp.

12. Doctor Strange (7.5/10): Again... plot is generic as hell. Forgettable villain. But very cool visuals. And I love the leitmotif and main theme music.

11. Avengers: Age of Ultron (7.75/10): I loved Ultron but felt he could have been a bigger threat. The middle of the movie plods... badly. Some wasted potential for sure. The third act action is comic book action nirvana. You could tell the movie was meddled with by the studio... I don't blame Joss Whedon at all for the film's shortcomings. He was obviously frustrated with it too.

10. Spiderman Homecoming (8.25/10): Gives us a great young spidey and a terrific villain. Seriously... Michael Keaton makes this movie work. The scenes with Peter and Tony are good. The supporting cast is good too. I wish they gave spidey a more memorable theme song for the movie.

9. Captain America: The First Avenger (8.25/10): I don't know why this movie resonates with me more than with other people. The look of the movie is gorgeous. The themes sincere. The music is wonderful. The performances are memorable. This movie showed us that Chris Evans was the perfect man to play Captain America. Hugo Weaving gave us a menacing yet charismatic Red Skull. One too many montages though. "The Star-Spangled Man with a Plan" is seriously catchy! Classic Disney songwriter Alan Menkin helped write it... no wonder!

8. Guardians of the Galaxy (8.5/10): How could a movie with a talking raccoon and a senient tree man be this good? Its all about the building of a family of friends, borne from people with broken pasts. Ronan is utterly forgettable, hence why I rank it here. The supporting cast is otherwise stellar. And the soundtrack... now thats how you integrate it into a movie's soul.

7. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (8.75/10): Took the characters of the first movie to new places. Elevated them, broke them down, made them weep. The jokey dialogue can get grating. But thematically wonderful. Lots of small touches that gives life to even the most minor of characters. Everyone has an arc! Ego is a fascinating fellow, and seems genuinely likeable, until the revelation of his madness. The Sovereign are pompously silly and didn't amount to much of a threat (though I dont think they were supposed to be). The cinematography is sublime. The colors intense and vibrant. The soundtrack used impeccably. Just a wonderful piece of cinema. Others may disagree about it, but I rate it highly. It feels like a personal film by James Gunn.

6. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (8.8/10): Truly great and heartfelt while being relevant to the current times. A movie that brought Cap to the modern age, while haunting him with a spectre of the past. It just works on so many levels. Alexander Pierce didnt leave a big impression as the villain despite being played by Robert Redford. Could have been more intimate exploration of Cap and Bucky's relationship. Despite being called "The Winter Soldier", the focus is more on the fall of SHIELD... At least this gave us Falcon and some cute chemistry between Steve and Natasha.

The TOP 5 were very hard to place...

5. The Avengers (8.8/10): That this movie worked at all is a miracle. That it was actually infinitely watchable is amazing. This was the sign that the MCU ahead was heading to good things. The cast was excellent together. The dialogue refreshingly snappy. It made Loki into a staple of the MCU. The Avengers theme was memorable. Lots of fan service without it being intrusive... the middle act can be a bit slow, but it is otherwise nicely paced and tonally even. The look of the movie can border on TV production values at times... but it manages to overcome any shortcomings by being so darn fun.

4. Captain America: Civil War (8.8/10): This movie broke down our well-known heroes and gave us a villain in Zemo that is mysterious, tragic, and understated. Revenge permeates the themes of the movie, but the true heart of the movie is friendship and Cap's desire to hold onto the final relic of his past, Bucky. Motivations are clear between most of the characters and neither side of the conflict is right or wrong. Some Avengers are just along for the ride, but everyone nonetheless has a moment to shine. New characters are introduced (mostly) seamlessly (T'Challa is woven into it naturally, Spidey... not so much but he leaves a great first impression). The airport battle was a fantastic bit of fan service fun before the gut wrenching emotionally driven climax. The final showdown between Cap and Iron Man was like watching two parents fight over a child. This is a comic book movie that had ideas, and though it didn't totally follow through on some concepts like the Sokovia Accords, it did give us an emotional rollercoaster that built upon our pre-existing attachment to the characters. This movie was a true culmination of all that came before.

3. Thor Ragnarok (8.9/10): This movie felt the most fun and thoroughly enjoyable out of all the MCU. It may not be thematically challenging or very deep, but it isn't trying to be. For pure intentions, it accomplished what it sought to: make a fast and funny Thor-Hulk buddy comedy, and reinvent the God of Thunder as a likeable, dunderheaded oaf. Hela seeths with sultry menace. Korg is simply a treasure. Valkyrie is a drunken badass. Grandmaster is.... Jeff Goldblum. The score is the best in the MCU, instantly setting the tone. Led Zepplin's Immigrant song used twice to great effect. Quotable, hilarious dialogue. Korg. Taika Waititi injected new life into the MCU after a few serious installments. This reminds me of the goofy "fun" episode of a series before the finale. I love this movie!

2. Black Panther (8.9/10, bumped up after my second viewing): Epic world building and a villain that outshone the hero for once. It may have its flaws in plotting and pacing (the first hour is meandering), but what it tried to do is highly admirable. The supporting cast is great. The look of the movie is utterly beautiful. The action scenes are the least interesting part of the movie oddly enough due to bad execution and dodgy CGI. It has plenty of ideas regarding Wakanda and its place in the world, and the duty to use great power to help others. Killmonger should have been the chief focus beside T'Challa... You can tell Ryan Coogler made this film with his full heart. This is the only MCU film to make me tear up. With a few tweaks it could have been the best of the MCU.

1. Iron Man (9.5/10): Nearly everything here works. Robert Downey Jr. is perfectly cast, and turned Tony Stark into a household name. There is genuine chemistry between him and Pepper. Obadiah Stane is a likeable yet menacing villain (Jeff Bridges playing a bad guy?! He's terrific at it!). The action scenes are exciting and not too overdone. The score is energetic (why isn't Iron Man's leitmotif from this movie used more often?!). This movie wasn't bogged down with setting up a universe. It was allowed to be its own thing. But from this success, all the rest followed.

[xxxdragonfucker69xxx]

Monomyth

A character distributes their weight (5 points) among seven Archetypes, governed by the seven astrological bodies. The Sun is Hero, for matters of virtue and the heart. The Moon is Trickster, for all stealth, deception and shenanigans. Mercury governs the Wanderer, Venus the Lover, Mars the Warrior, Jupiter the King and Saturn the Sage. Each Archetype in which a character has at least one rank can additionally divide that many ranks in Skills, defined by the character themselves. Making a roll consists of rolling dice equal to their rank in the Archetype, plus autosuccesses equal to applicable Edges.

In addition to these standard rolls, a character receives several Feats to enhance her actions. The precise number thereof depends on their Might, which starts at 2 and goes to 12. They receive that many Legendary, Epic and Mythic Feats. Feats can be used to enhance a normal action, or they can be used by supernatural miracles. A Legendary Feat adds a single success, an Epic Feat adds successes equal to the character’s Might, and a Mythic Feat adds that many successes squared. These also apply to miracles that use Feats; a miracle could use a Legendary Feat and only get a single autosuccess, or the same character using the same miracle could get (Might) extra successes. (This notation follows d19 convention; dice rolls are [number], while flat values are (number).) A character’s Legendary Feats refresh every scene, their Epic Feats refresh every session, and their Mythic Feats only refresh every story.

Miracles are special powers dependent on the Aspects. Anyone can use a Miracle if they have at least 1 point in its Aspect, and a Miracle always trumps mundane actions or obstacles. Opposed Miracles roll their attendant Aspects.

Mortals, extras, NPCs who are not miraculous enough to invoke the supernatural do not use these rules. They mostly get a single success for anything they could be expected to succeed at, with set dice pools for tasks they’re specialized in.

EDGES

Each Aspect comes with a certain kind of Edge involved. These may be bought at creation, or granted by certain Miracles. They may also be obtained naturally, but until the character pays XP to raise the relevant Edge and bind it to themselves, it just serves as stunt fodder. Edges are always linked to the relevant Archetype but may also be linked to other Archetypes or Aspects, serving as a source of Feats for that Aspect, sometimes with other bonuses. Total Edges cannot surpass the relevant Archetype. A point in an Edge may grant a Legendary Feat, two points an Epic Feat, and a similar scale for other bonuses to uses of the provided Feats.

Hero: Virtues

Virtues represent causes or beliefs that comprise the character’s identity, and can be used to resist mental attack or generally reinforce actions drawing from those Virtues.

Trickster: Tricks

Tricks are disguises or setups which allow the character to reveal that whatever just happened didn’t actually happen, and was actually this other thing all along!

Wanderer: Sancta

Sancta are safe places that give the character something they need: shelter, food, information. They usually require that the character be in them to benefit from them.

Lover: Companions

Companions represent pets and sidekicks who are capable of acting on their own or reinforcing the character’s own skills. They often offer the chance to substitute for other Aspects or opportunities impossible with a single character.

Warrior: Weapons

Weapons are meant to be used for conflict, even if not necessarily combat. A frying pan is stunt fodder if it’s just for cooking, but a Weapon if it helps in cooking competitions.

King: Support

Support represents favors you can command or demand from people you know, usually not other characters but people in the background and offscreen.

Sage: Skills

Skills represent the one thing a character is just really good at, for whatever reason. Not things like fighting or talking, but maybe firefighting or talking to children.

HERO MIRACLES

Sense Evil: Sense if anyone is planning to hurt you right now

Dramatic Speech: Grant a Feat to someone else

Pure of Heart: Perfectly resist a mental attack (Epic+)

Heroic Willpower: Get back up after a finishing blow (Mythic)

Channel Virtue: Get Legendary Feats out of a Virtue (Epic+)

Deep Bond: Act as a Companion for someone else

Holy Smite: Deal extra damage to something with opposing Virtues

TRICKSTER MIRACLES

Just Kidding: Take back something you said

Bavarian Fire Drill: Gain temporary Support, though you have to escape consequences later

Friendly Fire: Redirect something to someone else at random

Doppelganger: Appear as someone else

Black Hat, White Hat: Cause two characters to come into conflict

With Catlike Tread: Do something unseen

Disapparition: Leave the scene without being observed

Cross My Heart: Lie perfectly

Murphy’s Law: Something that can go wrong does

Outside the Box: Reduce the efficacy of Miracles that penalize you

Cover Identity: Establish a Trick as a persona that has its own stats, and assume that persona by spending that Trick’s Feats

WANDERER MIRACLES

Fastest Man Alive: Outpace anyone else who doesn’t use this Miracle

Flash Step: Instantly move to anywhere you can see

Water Walk: Move without falling through water, disturbing snow, etc.

Master Key: Open a lock, trap, binding or seal

Always Coming Home: Fit in no matter where you are

Opening the Way: Momentarily connect a doorway to a Sanctum (Epic+)

Lodestar Reckoning: Always know how to return to one of your Sancta

Hermit Crab: Temporarily claim a place as a Sanctum, for no more than a week. You must leave it after that time (Epic+)

Rainbow Bridge: Enter a spiritual realm such as the home of a god or the realm of dreams (Epic+)

LOVER MIRACLES

Cupid’s Arrow: Inspire an emotion in someone

Below the Belt: Perfectly manipulate someone as long as you use something they care about (Epic+)

Give and Take: Demand something in exchange for something, perfectly (Epic+)

Man’s Best Friend: Gain an animal Companion (Mythic)

Sexual Healing: Help someone recover, physically or mentally

Danger Sense: Be aware when one of your Companions or friends is in danger, and where they are

Reading the Room: Be aware of how anyone in sight feels about others, or how people feel about someone in sight

Heart’s Desire: Know what someone wants most

Sublime Performance: Put on a show (music, dance, speech, etc) so compelling that anyone who sees it is hypnotized and enthralled

Inspiration of the Muse: Let someone use your stats instead of theirs

WARRIOR MIRACLES

Lethal Weapon: Kill someone or destroy something (Mythic)

Unbroken: Survive a finishing blow (Epic+)

Berserker: Gain bonuses depending on how wounded you are

Knuckle-Cracking Show: Intimidate someone into backing down

Bullet Time: Act twice in a row (Epic+)

Fated Strike: Guarantee success in a combat round

Heavenly Ladder Style: Get a temporary +1 Weapon from the scenery

Iron Lotus: Attack multiple people at once

No Sell: Become invincible to attacks until you attack (Epic+)

Battle Cry: Enemies must resist or flee (Epic+)

Second Wind: Heal yourself (Epic+)

Scarred Over: Once you have been damaged by something, you cannot be hurt by it again while that wound remains (Epic+)

Lifting the Sky: Perform any feat of strength, or overcome the strength of anyone else (Mythic)

KING MIRACLES

Stonewall Jackson: Bring your whole party back to the fight

Take a Stand: Negate someone’s attempt at social influence

Power of the Purse: Evoke Support that doesn’t really apply, drawing on their resources

Human Chess: Change what your Support is from

Champion the People: Evoke your Support in combat (Epic+)

Judge’s Wisdom: People cannot lie to you, though they don’t have to tell the truth

Guards! Guards!: Summon a small group of NPCs

Sanctified Oath: Bless a promise or contract so it can’t be broken, including by yourself (Epic+)

Commandments: Speak a law that supporters must obey or be cursed (Mythic)

Provide for the People: Ensure that your supporters have enough to eat (Mythic)

Fisher King: Link yourself to your supporters, so you always know their opinion and so you are protected if they love you

SAGE MIRACLES

Just As Planned: Retroactively negate an obstacle by having planned for it

Listen to Teacher: Grant someone a bonus after instructing them

Jack of All Trades: Gain a point in a Skill you don’t have (Epic+)

Gut Instinct: Know the answer to a yes or no question (Epic+)

Art of War: Apply your Skills to combat, no matter what they are (Epic+)

If I Remember Correctly: Come up with a fact which doesn’t contradict previously established lore

Loremaster: A Skill involving information lets you know anything anyone knows about it; you know everything there is to know about History or Science or Anime Trivia.

Reading People: Ask something about a person and know the answer

Improvise Madly: Gain a bonus according to how hard an uncontested roll is

Prognostication: Know whether or not something is a good idea (Epic+)

Query the Universe: Ask a question about anything and know the answer (Mythic)

Monomyth started as.....jesus, i dont remember. an exercise in writing subtle powers (i used to be way big on flashy elemental stunts)? i think i made this around when heros journey was announced and i was real excited. the original version also had the equivalent of scion APPs but that made it literally just a weird scion homebrew so. bye to that

even as it stands most of these powers are mostly ripped from other games like godbound or the modern magician (though i guess that one doesnt really count as stealing). overall i would deem this a failure, though maybe the one redeeming aspect is using feats to pace power usage

[lockewoodandco]

Crossover is Bad

This is not a gr8 review, i’m just throwing my thoughts down after first watch (cause hell no im not watching it again and i have no patience to even torrent it for a review i don’t have my full faith in cause im not actually a reviewer). I’m also not jewish so this won’t go into depth about how they handled that cause i don’t actually know anything more than the history aspect. 

I should also mention that even though I riff on the writers a lot, I doubt it’s all their fault. Although this whole thing can basically be summed up by I Complain But Also Give Everyone The Benefit Of The Doubt so you know, make your own opinion. I don’t know everything and if you do, you’re lucky. Impart to us your wisdom, maybe. 

also shout out to the first time I have an opinion on tumblr.

if its not apparent already, spoilers.

Crossover is Worse Than You Think

First order of business, let’s get through the problems with the mechanics of the show before we go into the fact that the whole premise is Bad.

 The way everyone just... appeared? Bad. you have all these writers and none of them can think of a way to explain absences and appearances? If you’re working with so many characters, that should be your first order of business. Assign certain people to keep track of certain character if you have to. Why aren’t certain characters at the wedding scene? (*cough* RAY) Why was Mick at the wedding when anyone in their right mind would expect it to cause more problems than it did? Why didn’t Mick bring Ray or Amaya? Despite his grumbling, I would think it would have made sense if Ray was asked to be Mick’s +1, as Ray would be the perfect buffer, and given their history as acknowledged on screen, it would show how far their friendship has come especially after Ray disappeared during their trust fall. Also, why weren’t all the legends invited? Why wasn’t all of team arrow invited? Why wasn’t all of team flash invited? Dibny? gone. did they even invite him? are you telling me he didn’t clock in at all when there were very obvious Nazi’s literally swarming? what is his excuse?

the problem is, these characters have no excuses for being absent. No one mentions why Dibny is awol, no one mentions “oh, [character] couldn’t make it” or “[character] is [possibly comics throwback]”. When some characters just magically appear halfway through like “oh, we were just waiting for you to call even though we gave no reason for us not to know about the nazis especially since we already seem completely briefed.” no mention of a previous anachronism or baddie they were busy doing while most people were at the wedding. Nothing like “we just got back fighting [baddie/in year] and now we gotta punch some nazi’s.” where was everyone? apparently just waiting offscreen for their turn to kick ass. 

another missing character that definitely should have been invited; Hartley Rathaway. there's not a single mention of him. he’s good now!!! where is he!!!! I want a scene where cisco sneaks away and calls him up like, “i know you and barry are awkward considering everything but he invited you so i think you should be here!!!” have Andy call in his roll, maybe have someone shoot a sound thing off screen and think it’s canary when it definitely isn’t! This man still exists in canon as a friend of team flash, at least mention why he couldnt make it!!!!! 

I’m not that great! I don’t know shit! I’m an amateur writer barely making it through writing his first book! But I do know that instead of humanizing Nazi’s with love, you could have spent a little more time fleshing out the world your main characters are in. i mean seriously. bringing in just a mention of hartley rathaway? Bam. a question everyone’s been asking is answered AND your universe feels more real by the fact that this character is now probably doing something completely independent of any storyline.  there are ways to use these characters even when their actors are not available. you own the rights to use these characters!!! the actors dont own them!!! they arent automatically off the table, especially cause a lot of them have masks on, put them in a background shot my dude! like i said before, you don’t even have to have any part of them or their costume on screen to show they still exist! this! is! not! news! this is working with what you got, and you got a lot more than you think you do! if you actually don’t have the power to do that, then you must have the worst contract negotiator known to mankind. 

that was longer than i anticipated me going on for, but next problem: Leo

once again, appeared out of nowhere, this time in a fully populated area where he should have come barging in, obvious signs of cold chaos behind him, probably moving quite similar to his counterpart. maybe give barry more of a shock, instead of just a look of, “oh, he’s nice this time, thats kinda unexpected.” why? cause it’s not unexpected. not for Barry at least. 

you know what i dont buy? aloof Leonard Snart. Sure, it makes a good act, but is it one that Leo would hold up next to Mick? especially when he seems to drop it for his boyfriend. Do you really think that Leo would not notice the way Mick refers to him, and not try to give him some form of comfort besides a passing sentence that feels like the equivilant of “get over it.” they both lost each other, leo may not be as close to his mick as mick was to len, but we already know that Leonard Snart is far from emotionally stunted, his last iteration was full of emotion and you can tell that this Leo is the same, if not even more, so where even a single second of understanding before the scene cuts. It feels like you did this to address a fan concern, without seeing it as your concern. guess what? it is your concern! why? cause its a loose thread, and it was pointed out for a reason. The script is getting on the level of a daytime soap my dude. whatever internal problem is causing this lack of quality, it needs to be addressed. And don’t let me hear about it cause I don’t want to know! I just want to see it improved! 

A bit of good that came from that scene, Mick struggling to figure out how he should verbally react to the way he died on Earth X. 

Also, giving Len a boyfriend, pretty good. i have nitpicks but they arent important to this.

Alex

Sex is not character development! If you gotta have it, it should have been after the heart to heart with Sara! I do get it to a certain extent though, but the way it’s handled leaves a lot more to be desired. you get this pickup to a good minor plot that just can’t be completed. I can’t even see how this helped Sara grow as a character in any way, even though it was probably supposed to be about seeing damien darhk again and dealing with him, but you don’t hear that! Just a little line about Laurel. Minor complaint, they missed out on mentioning Sara also has the whole, my sister has an evil doppelganger thing, Although I don’t think she knows so I’m mourning the loss of the impossible on this one. Circumstantial humour there. 

The Ray

have we seen him before? on any dctv show? I dont know! i have no clue! He looks familiar but I even googled it and nothing! (doesn’t help that he shares a name with Ray Palmer) He’s supposed to be from Earth 1, right? Where is he! please tell me, I wanna know. He looks familiar but I could just be giving you the benefit of the doubt! you can’t just be like “oh he’s also from earth 1″ and just leave it there. How? And then he doesn’t stay and I doubt that the rest of the team really cares but I care! i care a lot!

also, why is Eobard Thawne the same Eobard? i mean, I forgot how much i enjoyed Tom’s performance as Eobard, good on you, you almost got me distracted, but like, he cant just (say it with me guys) appear. also, he has no motivation! cool! i hate it! the only thing i could possibly think of is he just wants to see his earth again but also he hates the time period so what!!! literally just make him a different Eobard! you don’t need to explain why his face is Tom because you already explained that Earth X is just Earth 1 with Nazis! (which um, also time doesn’t work that way, especially with mass genocide and jewish characters)

with leads me to my next problem!

time doesn’t work that way, especially with mass genocide and jewish characters!!!

also, you mean to tell me in a world where everything’s the same except nazi’s, that Kara Zor-El did not immediately rage against the machine, especially if the who earth looked like a burning sepia photograph. also, dead bodies! same on any planet! She’s gunna freak! you can’t escape death and wholeheartedly accept genocide like that! not without a very good reason. really, instead of giving kara/x a dumb love thing, maybe make it about what shaped each of their beliefs despite coming from the same beginnings cause once again, it was established that everything’s the same except nazi’s, so krypton still died. and since you gotta shoehorn arrow in Bad Town, make it an unrequited love! cool! Cause Nazi’s portrayed on tv don’t deserve happiness! Sadly I can’t stop actual Nazi’s from finding love! Wish I could! Also why is Oliver the weak link when he’s the Fuhrer? its dumb, really dumb. also, Overgirl’s death is dumb, especially since it should have killed Kara as well. Basic logic says if a blast kills your doppelganger and you’re pretty close to next to them (guessing that Kara was able to escape a ways even though they were shown to be basically next to each other) you’re going to get more than a little falling action.

Also, you know what happens to jewish characters (and basically anyone who’s not a cis straight aryan at that point) on Earth X? pretty fucking obvious. You know what happens when you lose that much of a population and try to compare it to an earth without that loss? You realize you lose a lot more than you think, and a lot more things change. you probably don’t even have to think about it that hard, someone’s probably already done that thought experiment!

Here’s one I gotta shoehorn in,

Joe mentions the fact that Iris and Barry are both his children in a speech when they’re about to get married. Heres an option: Dont! Say how much he enjoyed seeing them grow up together without mentioning any familial bond that connects the two people getting married. Cool! You know why? Crossovers pull in new viewers! Also Supergirl has a younger audience! These! People! Don’t! Know! Any! Better! 

Killing a Canon Jewish Character in an Episode about Nazi’s

There’s no way to paint this in a way that’s not shitty, especially when he didn’t have to die. You could have let him go back to his family. I can’t imagine what the thought process for this was. Shock value?! I don’t know. Maybe, because everyone expected Victor’s end to be Stein going home to his family. If it was, this really wasn’t the episode to do it in.

Next Up! Nazis!

Not good! Trying to backpedal and make your main villains have a non-nazi-ish reason for conflict? Worse! Nazi’s don’t deserve sympathy! They aren’t just a group of people in history! They’re a group of people in history who advocated for and took part in the absolute slaughter of millions. The numbers I checked agree it was near a billion when you include beyond just those who were jewish. What makes it worse is that this stain on human history has not died out. Sure, we all love punching Nazi’s, but as I understand, theres a lot more to it than that. Now we get into the part where my expertise lacks. As I understand it, one of the biggest problems in the comics is jewish coded heroes fighting as Nazis. How well did they avoid this? I don’t know! Someone please add to this! I want to know! 

So, if I hated the crossover, why did I watch it?

The flippant answer is that i hate-watched it. watched it for the sole purpose of leaving a bad review. That’s not really the reason. If it was, why would i complain on tumblr of all places? i think the real reason was that I just had to know. I just wanted to give the dctv the benefit of the doubt because I love the flash so much, and that love ends up extending through a lot of the other shows and characters, and I wanted to trust that even though the whole premise was Bad, that they had a handle on it. I keep coming back because I’ve grown attached to these characters so much, leaving feels like leaving a part of me. But that’s just me, a lot of other people have their reasons for staying, and a lot of it is no longer about the quality of the show itself. It means we’re all holding on by our fingernails desperately trying to hold on to that magic or pretend it hasn’t faded. Eventually we’re going to let go. What does that mean for the show? Are they just going to lose a small portion of fans, or a whole sector? How many are going to find the changes better than the previous season and take our place? I dont know! i live in an internet bubble my dude! Tumblr isn’t great for gathering analytics! All I know is, bad writing doesn’t make or break a cw show. It’s the cw, I mean what do you expect? I signed up for this, i made my bed, i’ve chosen to lie in it, I can get up whenever i want, its just a matter of when because some day, I’m going to get fed up. You might have my view for a little while longer, but you won’t have my confidence, you won’t have my support.

[t-aratrans]

170626 T-ara’s ‘drunk talk’ interview for ilgansports

Will there be another group with so much ups and downs like T-ARA. If we examine the team’s life graph over the past 9 years, they’ve experienced going from peak to bottom. They debuted as a public-friendly trend-setter girl group and reached the peak but then fell to bottom after the ‘bullying’ scandal started. The team underwent several reformations as well. At that time they gained a negative image with the public. Although the truth about the “bullying scandal” 5 years ago was revealed recently, it still wasn’t easy for T-ARA’s image to change. Before their June comeback, the group revamped to a 4-member group after Boram and Soyeon’s departure. After having a drink, T-ARA confessed that they feel ‘scared’ about any ‘team changes’. Because the reason they cried after winning for the first time in 5 years was because they had a flashback of all the ups and downs they experienced.  “We tried not to cry but we couldn’t control it. We want to show a ‘smiling T-ara’ from now on.” T-ARA was more persistent than any other group out there. It feels like they got stronger after undergoing a series of bad incidents. They invested their youth entirely on T-ARA. It’s no different than saying they spent half of their life as T-ARA. When comparing being a “celebrity” to being an “office worker, they said “For every job, you’ll experience the same amount of stress,” which showed their maturity.   T-ARA extended their contract until December this year. T-ARA’s fate in the future is up to the 4 members. What choice will T-ARA make?

Q.This is a fixed question. What is your alcohol drinking capacity?  Eunjung: up until 1 bottle of soju. Jiyeon: I think 3 cups of Soju. 

Qri: 2 cups of wine. This is my resting mode. Actually, it changes according to my condition. (laughs)  Hyomin: For soju, 1.5 bottle. For wine, up to 1 bottle. 

- You had a drunk talk 3 years ago, your drinking capacity hasn’t increased since then.  Eunjung: During the past 3 years, it increased up to 1~2 cups. I think my ability to pretend I’m not drunk when I am has improved.  Q.At that time, Eunjung exposed Jiyeon’s bad drinking habits. You said she shows lots of aegyo, does she still do that?  Eunjung: She still has lots of aegyo. It depends on how you see it, but she’s totally cute (for me). 

Q.You look very nervous this comeback. 

Eunjung: We’re supposedly on our 9th year as a girl group but we still get so nervous. We showed our solo stages during the showcase in attempt to show a new side to us, but it wasn’t something we prepared long enough for. We’re doing things we haven’t done before so we’re even more nervous, excited, and also tense, we’re having mixed feelings.

Jiyeon: Before going up on stage, all four of us were like “Is it only me who’s nervous?” We were even more nervous than during our debut. Q.How do you think of people’s reaction for ’What’s My Name?” do you like it? Hyomin: First of all, even while we were preparing the album we already decided not to get too attached to chart results. We weren’t anxious about it. We just got mentally relaxed.

Q.Why were you relaxed? 

Hyomin: We had lots of worries about whether we’ll be able to show what we prepared for well, will we make mistakes, will our showcase go well. But fortunately everything went well.

Eunjung: Even having a comeback by itself was hard for us. This comeback wasn’t easy like before, but we overcame that thanks to our fans’ big support for us.  Q.You underwent a sudden team reformation before the comeback

Eunjung: We re-recorded the song and did lots of position changes. We made lots of efforts in order not to make the two members’ absence obvious. But above all, having a comeback by itself felt happy.

Jiyeon: We felt sorry we couldn’t wrap up T-ARA as full 6 members. We’re sorry to our fans. The two members’ absence was big due to that.

Q.Are you the type to accept team changes.  Eunjung: Most of the changes T-ARA has underwent weren’t good. They created many rumors. That’s why we hated changes. We wanted to let things flow as they are without caring much about popularity.

Q.You received hard questions during the showcase.  Qri: We went up on stage expecting such questions but hearing the questions in reality we got emotional. That’s why we were even more nervous.  Eunjung: But we dont’ hate such questions. Because we know it’s only natural that (the journalists) get curious about it.  Q.Did your bond grow stronger after the two members’ leave?  Eunjung: We underwent many tough situations so I think we have a strong bond regardless of the no. of members. We feel more energy just by hearing the name “T-ARA.” Some people ask us ‘people don’t even know you released an album so why do you keep releasing albums, you’re only making things harder and receving more hate’. That’s not important to us. We like communicating with our fans, showing them our performances, and being happier with them more. 

Hyomin: I think we have a strong desire to maintain T-ARA’s name.  Q.You teared up during the showcase.  Eunjung: We didn’t want to cry because we didn’t want to hear people say “They’re crying? again?”. Standing in front of the public is our job. We know that the reason we’re crying will not sound 100% genuine to the public. Unless we’re asking for perfect understanding from people, then I believe it’s better to keep it appropriate. We always end up thinking about it rationally. 

Hyomin: We don’t want to show our tears in front of people. But I guess it was hard to hide our feelings that’s why we started tearing up nonstop. We want to show our smiling side instead of crying side. We want to remain as a ‘smiling T-ARA’.

Q.Your initial sales for this album reached 30K copies.  Hyomin: Really? The printed copies got all sold out so they did tell us that we no longer have CDs to use for fansigns. It’s surprising. 

[T/N: in yesterday’s fansign the members said that it might be their last fansign, I guess it’s because they ran out of copies to sell.] Q.Thanks to that you achieved 1st place in a music program for the first time in 5 years. You cried to the point where you couldn’t give an award speech.  Hyomin: We really didn’t expect winning 1st place. We had zero expectations so we were so shocked when they called our name. It was an unexpected win so we couldn’t control our tears. I remember our last win was in Music Bank for Lovey Dovey. We were thankful because we won it during our Japanese promotions, but I think this win will be more memorable. I think it’s impossible to win 1st place again. (laughs)

Q.Your resolution to not tear up again got all ruined. Hyomin: I think we can’t hold in our tears anymore. We cried during the showcase too so I made a promise with the members to not cry again but..(laughs)  Q.We heard you even got a cake from the fans.  Hyomin: Our fans were really happy about it. We cried a lot inside so we came out late but they were waiting for us outside with a cake all that while. We teared up as soon as we saw the fans but we held it in until the end. We’re sorry for making our fans cry. In the future we’ll work hard to make you proud of being a T-ara fan.

Q.You appeared on ‘SNL’ as well. Hyomin: We started filming the recording just a day after winning 1st place so our eyes were swollen from crying, we tried cooling them down using ice bags. We were resolute into making it a laughing day instead of a crying day.

Q.How did it feel going live on 'SNL’. You even had to act on live broadcast. Hyomin: we were more tense and nervous than any other broadcast before. SNL cast members took care of us and lead us well so we were able to wrap up the broadcast well. It was a special and fun experience.  

Q. We saw that you right up confronted the controversy on SNL.  Jiyeon: Rather than saying that we intended it beforehand, we just thought that “since we’re appearing on the program, let’s do our best while at it!” As you know, SNL’s speciality is delivering a message or satire through skits. If we were to be scared of that idea then we wouldn’t have appeared at all.

Q.You had bold transformations through skits like Hyomin’s “Woman with fast progress” and Eunjung’s “Holiday,” didn’t you feel fearful at all?  Hyomin: Rather than saying “fearful”, we actually had fun filming. It’s a program we really wanted to appear on so we were looking so much forward to it, it was also our first time trying live skits so we had fun while working.

Q.Did you personally come up with ideas for the program too?  Jiyeon: We had lots of discussions with the production crew during the meeting. We prepared a lot in order to deliver a legend episode. We told them in advance that we were okay with showing embarrassing acting.

Q.I think you almost teared up again at the end.    Eunjung: We didn’t tear up (laughs). We just felt relieved that the live finished smoothly. 

Q.During the showcase, you said “no one believed our explanation during the bullying scandal 5 years ago.” But some people reacted to that saying “when did you even explain about it.

Eunjung: I wonder why. I think it’s because we always only apologised and never really explained the situation bit by bit, but we can’t just focus on our personal feelings alone so we had no choice but to be cautious about it. During the time we were staying cautious, many people started having different thoughts. All people have different thinking. It was difficult to explain according to every person’s thoughts. 

Q.Anyway, the controversy settled down after 5 years.  Eunjung: Amongst ourselves we thought “What is this again. Why do suddenly…”  Hyomin: We hated being the noisy kids [T/N: as in a loud issue] but we became a noisy topic again so it made us sad. We wanted to stay quiet. Regardless of the consequences, that time by itself was tough. We didn’t want to be the talk of people so we always acted very cautiously. We were really staying put but then that controversy came to light again so we thought “Are we really fine”.

Q.Living as an idol for 9 years, were there any hard things about it?  Hyomin: There are many hard things, it’s hard to pick the hardest thing amongst that. I believe every job has its difficulty. People’s attention, interests, misunderstandings are all a given when it comes to living as a celebrity. It’s the job we chose and it’s something that we have to cope with. It’s similar to the stress an office worker receives from their boss every time they go to work.

Eunjung: As a career, there were actually much more benefits about it.  Q.During the past 9 years, have you ever had a deviation from routine? Hyomin: Not yet. Our company naturally let us free later. Ah right! If I’m to pick one, we once had our mobile phones confiscated so I temporarily got a rental phone. And we once secretly left the dorms when we weren’t allowed to. We made a human-shape on the bed (using pillows) and then placed a wig on top, then we made up tactics and sneaked away from the dorm. But we didn’t have any place to go at that time so we just stayed at a coffee shop in Gangnam and chatted for some time then went back to the dorm.

Q.Do you have any breakaway you want to do in the future?  Eunjung: I never thought of doing a breakaway before. I didn’t feel the need too. I think I grew more responsible. 

Jiyeon: The longest (official) holiday we got was a 3-day holiday during our 3rd or 4th year. One day we spent with our parents and another day we rested at our dorm, that was all. Eunjung: That’s why our managers were like “You don’t know how to hang out even when we give you free time?”. But then we replied “You should give us more time” while laughing. Just having a meal at the neighbourhood feels like hanging out. Once I was just walking on the crosswalk but it felt so nice so I just stopped right there. We always transport by car (for schedules) so we never get the chance to walk on the crosswalk. I feel happiness through trivial things (laughs). Hyomin: I want to travel with the members. During our time off I’m busy sleeping at home. Receiving an (official) holiday from your job and resting for a bit while working are two different things. When I’m resting I don’t even think of hanging out. Q.Is there any place you want to travel with the members?  Eunjung: Anywhere is good. There isn’t anything specific we want to do or have. We do have greed when it comes to working but beside that, we have no other greed. I think we’d be happy wherever you take us to. I never thought of it proactively.

Hyomin: There are many places we want to go to but I start to give up when thinking of it realistically. If we go overseas it will take us lots of time travelling back and forth and there aren’t many places to go to. That’s why we don’t have much fancies about it. Q.Leave being realistic on a side, where do you want to go? Hyomin: Europe or Hawaii. We once went to Italy, France, and Swiss for a pictorial shooting. Back then, we didn’t know how to enjoy our time while working. Our schedules were tight and our transportation alone took 7~8 hours by bus so all we could do is quick sightseeing. We missed so many things back then so we want to go again.

Eunjung: It would be meaningful if we go that route again. Hawaii has lots of Japanese tourists. Our members speak Japanese better than English. I think we’ll be able to communication there so it’s even better (laugh).  Q.You’re workaholic. Hyomin: our job doesn’t have a regular pattern. If we suddenly get work to do overseas then we have to go there immediately. Back in the days, we might have grown tired of it but after undergoing several incidents we realised how much of a valuable thing that was. We now know how to be grateful.

Qri: We don’t want to ditch our work in order to play and hang out. Work comes first first and T-ara work comes first. Q.You’re on your 9th year, but it feels like it’s been more than that.  Eunjung: On our 2nd year of debut we heard we look like a group on their 5th year. During our first 3 years, we released an album every month. That’s why. We also went on many variety shows and acted on movies and dramas. We has so many exposures and showed so many diverse sides to us that’s why we have such (veteran) image. It’s something we’re thankful for.

Q.You must have earned your pay quickly too.  Eunjung: That’s true. But we didn’t work for the money, it was more meaningful to us that ‘we debuted and went up on stage’.

Q.How did you ‘9th year’ look like in your imagination when you debuted?  Eunjung: We didn’t have time to think of our future. Excelling the job that’s at our hand came first.

Hyomin: During our 2~3rd year, I by myself wrote a future plan in my dairies, but I gave up midway. Because I thought I’ll get stressed if things don’t go as planned, especially due to the nature of our job. I was aware of the fact that it doesn’t usually go as planned, and it was also really hard to draw my future. We couldn’t do anything but do our best at the job we have at our hand at the moment. The word doesn’t go as one likes.

Eunjung: Since before, I always had the mindset that “let’s just live with flow” Q.That sounds mature.

Eunjung: We’re not young either (laughs). I think it’s because we started working early. Sometimes I feel like I need a recharge but it’s not as easy as it sounds.

Q.Do you reveal your worries to your members? .   All: of course.  Eunjung: Even if we reveal our worries to our friends, they don’t always understand. Our members are first priority. Q.With whom do you share your life talks with?  Eunjung: I don’t have many friends. There are many friends I know by connections. But for the friends I can share my life talks with, there is one friend I met in middle school and two friends I met in university. And that of course includes our members. I don’t know many people who’ve experienced many ups and downs. But for our members, they know how I feel even without me talking it about it. We understand on each other quickly and we know each others’ personalities well. I don’t think I have anything my friends know but my members don’t. We were together since our early 20s, and mid-10s for Jiyeon. We had lots of changes and underwent lots of emotions and our personalities matured as well. We’ve spent the past 10 years like sisters.

Jiyeon: Beside our members, it’s difficult for other people to understand our job. Hyomin: Even financially, we’re are all the same. We understand each other even without explaining so it’s comfortable.

Q.You weren’t closed since the begining, you became a team out of business. So you must have had some troubles during your early years.  Hyomin: We’re like sisters so it’s only natural to get upset with each other sometimes. But even then we just used to speak out to each other and it all passes.

Eunjung: I can’t talk ill (to people). I think it’s more appropriate to express it as “understanding each other” than “holding it in.” I just speak it out when I have something to say instead of making things more complicated. We’re all like that. Because they’re all people I like and not people I hate.

Q.Do you like meat? How do you take care of your body.   Eunjung: I really like meat. Today is an eating day. “ Qri: I take care of my body from time to time according to my outfits. If I feel like my outfits don’t fit me then I’ll hold myself from eating on that day.

Hyomin: I can’t starve myself all the time, never. Q.How far have you tried dieting?  Eunjung: Two members sharing one bibimbap with only vegetables. Excluding red-pepper paste. We had it with vegetable flavour.

Hyomin: It was during Bo Peep Bo Peep preparation. I took a staff’s leftover Gimbap, put it in my pocket, then called the members at the bathroom and ate it all together. Also during “Invincible Youth” days, Kim Taewoo oppa was promoting at the same time and he asked me if I had eaten and I told him no so he gave me snacks. But I couldn’t take that with me to the dorm so I took turns with the members and ate it at the bathroom. But now we can’t do that at all. Q.Do you live in your separate houses? Eunjung: Yes. But it was way more fun when we used to live in a dorm. We felt more freedom at the dorm. It felt like a share-house.

Jiyeon: We asked our company if they can provide us a dorm just during our promotions at least but they rejected us. (laugh). Hyomin: In the past, we gathered money and lived in dorms for 1~2 years. But we evacuated later after our parents told us to come back home because (renting a dorm) is very costly. (laughs). That was before we started overseas promotions. Q.Don’t you earn lots of money? Eunjung: Not as much as the rumor goes. Because not all the money goes to us. (Laugh)

Q.You have expressed your secret to popularity in China as “Old-fashioned music. (On SectionTV) Hyomin: Actually I couldn’t say ‘뽕끼’(slang for retro/trot feel music) on TV that’s why I expressed it as “old-fashioned”. T-ARA’s music has trot feel to it. I think that has contributed to our popularity in China.

Eunjung: Even overseas, people like our trot-feel songs like BPBP, No.9, Like The First Time, and WAYBLT. We have so many good songs. People always say “But at least, T-ara has good music.”

Q.Why did you add “at least” in your statement. Eunjung: There are still many people who think negatively of us. That’s why I assume. It can’t be helped.

Q.Your juniors from the same company has debuted. Do you have anything you want to say to them?  Hyomin: Few days ago I had a conversation with DIA’s Chaeyeon. They’re experiencing the same things we experienced during our debut. I though it was “cute” because all of that we have been through before. Even if it’s tough, they’re all things they’ll end up doing anyway, so I hope they don’t get too stressed about it and do well.

Eunjung: I want to tell them that feelings are unnecessary.  Q.You spent your youth in T-ARA. Do you feel regret?  Eunjung: I don’t regret it at all. Hyomin: I’ve never regretted becoming an idol. I rather think it’s an honour. We promoted during the time K-POP received the most attention and love, I’m grateful.

Q.Have you ever envied your non-celebrity friends? Hyomin: We envy them when they travel.  Q.You must have friends who are already married. Hyomin: My closest friend is getting married on September. It feels weird to think that my friend is becoming a mother. I think we’re definitely living less maturely than our same-age friends. It applies on both our appearance and life pattern. Sometimes when I see my friends I wonder “am I really living well?”

Q.All of you have tried dating, right?  Qri: It wouldn’t make sense if we say that we haven’t dated until now.

Eunjung: I’ve dated a lot secretly. I become more cautious when thinking of marriage. Q.What kind of person do you want to get married with?  Eunjung: Someone who’s well-mannered, responsible, and manly. Actually that’s what my unnies told me. In the past, I used to think “What’s important about that. I just prefer someone who looks good in trench coat.” but now I wonder what’s the point in all of this. (laughs). My unnies told me that if I try to find a man who’s 100% perfect then I won’t find anyone. They told me to love him if he’s 70~80% fine. I think they’re right. (laughs).

Hyomin: I wish it would be someone who’s fun and I can have endless conversation with. For outer appearance, I’d prefer if it’s simple. Rather than a person who’s pretentious and cares too much about his looks, I prefer someone who’s natural. Qri: My ideal type is someone with slanted eyes, it hasn’t changed. However, I think it’d be more comfortable if he has a similar pattern and is in the same work field as me. Since my job has an irregular pattern, I think someone from the same work field would understand me better than an office worker. I think it’d fit better if we can guarantee win-win for each other.  Q.What’s the longest time you’ve dated?    Eunjung: my first time dating I dated a non-celebrity for 3 years. I’ve never had a public relationship but I always get caught by my friends.

Q.Will you get married?  Eunjung: Of course I should. There aren’t any restrictions regarding marriage in our contract. Actually, I should make our company be the first to give me wedding congratulatory money. (Laughs)

Q.Your contract ends on December. What will happen to T-ARA in the future. All: We don’t know. Hyomin: if we don’t have a solution we should find another solution Jiyeon: I guess we’ll only know then  Eunjung: There are many complicated things so we want to accomplish what’s at hand first. I haven’t thought of the next step yet.

Q.Do you want to maintain T-ARA?  Jiyeon: All of our members want to maintain T-ARA all the same  Hyomin: It’s not like a hobby which we do because we want to do it. We have aged enough and have to think about it realistically. It’s also our one and only job. In the future we’ll discuss it amongst ourselves and then decide which direction to take.

Q.You don’t have any solo plans?  Jiyeon: We have solo songs in this album. We also performed our solo stages at music programs. I think being able to do this, by itself, it something we should be thankful for.

Q.You’re a presistant team.

Hyomin: That’s how it ended it up like. So many meanings are included in this phrase. (laughs).

Q.What is T-ARA to T-ARA?

Eunjung: I spent all of my 20s. in T-ARA. I spent my youth in T-ARA. It’s my everything.

Hyomin: This will be the only day we tell sad stories. Tomorrow we’ll forget about it again. It’s like living just for a day. I believe that’s how we keep maintaining a bright side to us.

Q.At last, anything you want to say?  

Qri: I’m thankful to our fans. Our fans can’t proudly say they’re T-ara fans. I want to make them become proud of being a T-ara fan.

Eunjung-Jiyeon: Thanks for always staying by our side and supporting us. Hyomin: Our fans had it as tough as we did, and maybe ever tougher than we did.

source: 

http://isplus.live.joins.com/news/article/article.asp?total_id=21699125&cloc=

http://isplus.live.joins.com/news/article/article.asp?total_id=21699126&cloc=

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[cynthiajayusa]

‘Schitt’s Creek’ Creator Dan Levy Talks Queer Journey

Oh, sure, Dan Levy gets excited. Really, he does! The sparkle may not be written on his face – cherubic, distinguished, writerly; one with features much like his actor-dad, Eugene Levy – but inside you can bet he’s screaming. It’s a Canadian thing.

Our conversation takes place on a day in mid December, the day after Pop TV’s Schitt’s Creek, his farcical and heartfelt sitcom about a family stripped of their riches that is lovingly created as a gift to this godforsaken world with his father, has picked up a Critics’ Choice nod for Best Comedy Series and Levy is screaming. Really!

“We have a limit to how excited we can be about ourselves,” he says, snickering. He continues, Canadian-modesty fully intact: “But it’s a thrill.”

The thrill humbly extended to a tweet written by the out 35-year-old conveying gratitude for the show’s recent wins when GALECA: The Society of LGBTQ Entertainment Critics awarded Schitt’s Creek with two honors, TV Comedy of the Year and Unsung TV Show of the Year, during their annual Dorian Awards. (Full, proud disclosure: I’m a member, and I voted for Schitt’s Creek in both categories.)

Get Levy talking about Mariah Carey – the diva inspiration for one of season 4’s sweetest and gayest lines, pertaining to his onscreen boyfriend, Patrick (Noah Reid) – and he won’t stop screaming. We spoke about the Elusive Chanteuse’s prominent place on Schitt’s Creek and about what’s in store for his lovably dramatic character, David Rose, mom Moira (Catherine O’Hara), dad Johnny (Eugene Levy) and sister Alexis (Annie Murphy) in season 5. Plus, this season’s coming out story that Levy says was an emotional shoot and “my proudest episode.”

I was feeling such disappointment when the Golden Globes and the Emmys didn’t acknowledge Schitt’s Creek yet again this year. So, this Critics’ Choice nod must feel like, “Finally, awards committees are catching up to the rest of the world.”

Slowly but surely we’re cracking into that illustrious group of shows that get nominated for things and it’s a wonderful feeling. We’re a very small show, and I think for very small shows that don’t necessarily have huge resources to promote themselves for award consideration, a nomination from the critics at this point is fantastic. It means it’s been word-of-mouth, and I think the fact that we are also streaming on Netflix has cracked us open to an entirely new and different audience as well.

And listen, our team, first and foremost, just wants to tell really interesting stories and wants to have fun when we go to work every day, and that has always been the goal for me as someone who’s running the show. The minute you start to look outside and think, “Oh, we’re being recognized for this; people are putting us on lists,” it’s wonderful but it can really change the experience of making your show. Suddenly you’re more concerned about, “Are things living up to the standards that the media have kindly set for us?” And that can be really intimidating.

So I try not to pay attention as much as I possibly can; especially when we’re making our show, I try to disengage from all of that so we can really focus on what’s ultimately going to serve our characters. But I’m not gonna lie: It’s been a joy over the past couple of years to see our show up there in the ranks of other shows that I have long admired myself. So I’m just ultimately bursting with pride for our team.

How are the Roses coping with each other during season 5?

Season 4 was a really emotional chapter in this family’s trajectory and we were able to really peel back some layers and show a lot of growth. Season 5 is really about having fun. The guards are down a little bit, which means we can have more fun with our characters, we can put them in stranger situations.

We tried our best to pair characters this season with characters that have never been paired before and really take stories outside of the box and expand our world a little bit, so this season was always intended to be the shiniest and brightest and boldest we’ve ever done. But I’m just really excited because there’s so much in store in season 5. It’s bursting with life and joy and I can’t wait for, particularly, a few episodes.

David does a lot of things this season that, for me, as a gay kid growing up, were horrifying: tree-climbing, baseball. What was your favorite David adventure to shoot this season?

The fun thing about David is he’s someone who has put on such a front for so long that he has really, over the course of his two years in this town, allowed himself to just get in better touch with himself and expose himself to vulnerability in ways that he never would have. So something like the first episode of season 5 (laughs) – constantly feeling the need to prove his relationship and how far he’s willing to go for it – was really fun. I mean, the day was grueling and I was stuck up there (in the trees) for, I think, seven hours…

So by the end of the shoot, your face was David’s. You weren’t even acting anymore.

(Laughs) The character and me as a person really came together in those moments. But yeah, I would say the excitement of our first episode back is really an indicator of what’s to come.

I can’t believe these characters are just now trying on Moira’s wigs. How did that not already happen?

The idea was, for us, that she needed to be on a totally different continent in order for David and Alexis to even dare touch that wall, because of all the things, all the buttons you can press with Moira, those wigs are everything (laughs). So we thought it could be really fun, considering no one’s ever tried them on. And we never ever really touched it, but that was really out of respect for Moira, who was holding court in her home. Now that she’s away we can all sort of have some fun with it, and getting to select which wig we got was a really fun process too. I tried on that little blunt, blonde wig that I wear in the episode and thought, “Well, this could be good for my real life!”

Will there be more Mariah stuff? And also, how much Mariah is played on set?

A lot of Mariah is played just in my life, which seeps into my professional life. She tweeted about the show last year after the Mariah Carey reference in our season 4 finale.

You recently celebrated that tweet’s anniversary on your IG.

I’ll be celebrating that anniversary for years to come. I lost it. There’s been some amazing people who’ve said some wonderful things about the show, but the Mariah Carey tweet, to me, was like, I don’t even know how to process that. I think back to being a teenager, putting up Mariah Carey posters on my bedroom walls. It was a full-circle moment.

The last time we chatted you told me that one episode in particular this season made you cry. Why is it so meaningful to you?

It’s a layered thing. I find it sometimes quite emotional to be in the position that I am in, to be able to tell queer stories and show them on a mass scale, to write moments and stories, and in this particular case a love story, that seems to really affect people. It’s hard not to think back to a time in your life where you didn’t have that kind of freedom. For me, I think back to high school when I was still in the closet and wondering if I would ever be able to live out in the open. To now be in the position that I am, getting to write what I find to be a really lovely queer romance that millions of people get to watch, it’s quite profound.

And how about the episode’s impact on you?

It’s a particular moment that I had to write that is something that most queer people go through and articulating that, dramatizing that, is just a very meaningful episode for me and for a character in our show. It’s a coming out episode. So getting to write that and trying to find a way around that kind of story that’s been told several times in film and television and literature, finding a dynamic way into that story and out of that story, was probably the greatest joy and challenge I’ve had as a writer for TV. And now that we’ve cut and polished the episode it’s my proudest episode we’ve done as a show.

Given that you understand the weight of this show on your audience, I’m guessing David and Patrick will never break up.

(Laughs) Um, I don’t ever want them to, but you never know what happens. All I know is that we do understand what our fans are enjoying and we certainly wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize their loyalty.

It’s the first successful relationship I’ve had in a while and it’s not even mine.

Funnily enough, me too.

For the Schitt’s Creek: Up Close & Personal tour, you and some cast members are touring various U.S. cities. How did the idea for the tour start and are there any Tina Turner musical numbers?

(Laughs) The idea for the tour started mainly because I think so much of the success of our show is based on the enthusiasm and the word-of-mouth that has come from our fans. And the feedback that I’ve received from our fans has been so much more than, “We love your show”; it’s long letters about how this show has provided sort of a safe space, a happy space, a joyful space in dark times. We seem to have a relationship with the people who watch our show and love our show that is slightly deeper than I think the relationship that a lot of people have with the shows that they watch on TV.

Shooting the show in Canada, we don’t ever really have access to a lot of our fans. We shoot for three months out of the year and the rest of the time is me editing or writing the show, and a lot of the response and feedback we got from fans was a desire to interact with the cast, and so we started developing this idea. It’s a Q-and-A, it’s very casual. We show some things we’ve never shown before, we show some behind-the-scenes stuff, we show some bloopers, and there may or may not be a musical performance that may or may not involve a Tina Turner song sung by someone who may or may not play my boyfriend on a television show (laughs). But for us, it’s a great way for us to meet our fans and for the fans to come and say hi in person. We did our first in Los Angeles a little while ago and it was incredible. There was so much love in the room.

Regarding the writing, do you think in terms of meme-able moments in the writers’ room?

No, no! In fact, there was some kind of Instagram sticker – you know the GIF stickers you can use? There’s one of Moira that apparently had like a billion views or something insane, and I’m always sort of amazed how people have taken moments from our show and turned them into these little internet memes, because when we’re writing we never really think about that. But it’s quite an expressive show (laughs), so I understand how it would be very easy to take some reactions from our cast and make some sort of universal reactions of disgust or confusion.

I used your face when I was disappointed by the Golden Globe nominations.

(Laughs) I’m so happy that I could be there for you in that time.

Has working on this show and writing queer characters with your dad bonded you in ways you didn’t expect it to?

I honestly don’t know, actually. The show has been sort of wonderful in the sense that we have been put in a position where we get to see each other every day. I think just going through the experience of making this show and seeing its success has been a wonderful thing for the two of us.

There are just times in your life when things happen that you’ll never forget and you know that you’re sort of in the middle of doing something quite special and lasting, so I know that whatever I do after this show, we’ll always have this time together, we’ll always have this sort of chapter of our lives that we got to immortalize on screen, which is quite lovely.

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2019/02/28/schitts-creek-creator-dan-levy-talks-queer-journey/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazin.blogspot.com/2019/02/schitts-creek-creator-dan-levy-talks.html

[demitgibbs]

‘Schitt’s Creek’ Creator Dan Levy Talks Queer Journey

Oh, sure, Dan Levy gets excited. Really, he does! The sparkle may not be written on his face – cherubic, distinguished, writerly; one with features much like his actor-dad, Eugene Levy – but inside you can bet he’s screaming. It’s a Canadian thing.

Our conversation takes place on a day in mid December, the day after Pop TV’s Schitt’s Creek, his farcical and heartfelt sitcom about a family stripped of their riches that is lovingly created as a gift to this godforsaken world with his father, has picked up a Critics’ Choice nod for Best Comedy Series and Levy is screaming. Really!

“We have a limit to how excited we can be about ourselves,” he says, snickering. He continues, Canadian-modesty fully intact: “But it’s a thrill.”

The thrill humbly extended to a tweet written by the out 35-year-old conveying gratitude for the show’s recent wins when GALECA: The Society of LGBTQ Entertainment Critics awarded Schitt’s Creek with two honors, TV Comedy of the Year and Unsung TV Show of the Year, during their annual Dorian Awards. (Full, proud disclosure: I’m a member, and I voted for Schitt’s Creek in both categories.)

Get Levy talking about Mariah Carey – the diva inspiration for one of season 4’s sweetest and gayest lines, pertaining to his onscreen boyfriend, Patrick (Noah Reid) – and he won’t stop screaming. We spoke about the Elusive Chanteuse’s prominent place on Schitt’s Creek and about what’s in store for his lovably dramatic character, David Rose, mom Moira (Catherine O’Hara), dad Johnny (Eugene Levy) and sister Alexis (Annie Murphy) in season 5. Plus, this season’s coming out story that Levy says was an emotional shoot and “my proudest episode.”

I was feeling such disappointment when the Golden Globes and the Emmys didn’t acknowledge Schitt’s Creek yet again this year. So, this Critics’ Choice nod must feel like, “Finally, awards committees are catching up to the rest of the world.”

Slowly but surely we’re cracking into that illustrious group of shows that get nominated for things and it’s a wonderful feeling. We’re a very small show, and I think for very small shows that don’t necessarily have huge resources to promote themselves for award consideration, a nomination from the critics at this point is fantastic. It means it’s been word-of-mouth, and I think the fact that we are also streaming on Netflix has cracked us open to an entirely new and different audience as well.

And listen, our team, first and foremost, just wants to tell really interesting stories and wants to have fun when we go to work every day, and that has always been the goal for me as someone who’s running the show. The minute you start to look outside and think, “Oh, we’re being recognized for this; people are putting us on lists,” it’s wonderful but it can really change the experience of making your show. Suddenly you’re more concerned about, “Are things living up to the standards that the media have kindly set for us?” And that can be really intimidating.

So I try not to pay attention as much as I possibly can; especially when we’re making our show, I try to disengage from all of that so we can really focus on what’s ultimately going to serve our characters. But I’m not gonna lie: It’s been a joy over the past couple of years to see our show up there in the ranks of other shows that I have long admired myself. So I’m just ultimately bursting with pride for our team.

How are the Roses coping with each other during season 5?

Season 4 was a really emotional chapter in this family’s trajectory and we were able to really peel back some layers and show a lot of growth. Season 5 is really about having fun. The guards are down a little bit, which means we can have more fun with our characters, we can put them in stranger situations.

We tried our best to pair characters this season with characters that have never been paired before and really take stories outside of the box and expand our world a little bit, so this season was always intended to be the shiniest and brightest and boldest we’ve ever done. But I’m just really excited because there’s so much in store in season 5. It’s bursting with life and joy and I can’t wait for, particularly, a few episodes.

David does a lot of things this season that, for me, as a gay kid growing up, were horrifying: tree-climbing, baseball. What was your favorite David adventure to shoot this season?

The fun thing about David is he’s someone who has put on such a front for so long that he has really, over the course of his two years in this town, allowed himself to just get in better touch with himself and expose himself to vulnerability in ways that he never would have. So something like the first episode of season 5 (laughs) – constantly feeling the need to prove his relationship and how far he’s willing to go for it – was really fun. I mean, the day was grueling and I was stuck up there (in the trees) for, I think, seven hours…

So by the end of the shoot, your face was David’s. You weren’t even acting anymore.

(Laughs) The character and me as a person really came together in those moments. But yeah, I would say the excitement of our first episode back is really an indicator of what’s to come.

I can’t believe these characters are just now trying on Moira’s wigs. How did that not already happen?

The idea was, for us, that she needed to be on a totally different continent in order for David and Alexis to even dare touch that wall, because of all the things, all the buttons you can press with Moira, those wigs are everything (laughs). So we thought it could be really fun, considering no one’s ever tried them on. And we never ever really touched it, but that was really out of respect for Moira, who was holding court in her home. Now that she’s away we can all sort of have some fun with it, and getting to select which wig we got was a really fun process too. I tried on that little blunt, blonde wig that I wear in the episode and thought, “Well, this could be good for my real life!”

Will there be more Mariah stuff? And also, how much Mariah is played on set?

A lot of Mariah is played just in my life, which seeps into my professional life. She tweeted about the show last year after the Mariah Carey reference in our season 4 finale.

You recently celebrated that tweet’s anniversary on your IG.

I’ll be celebrating that anniversary for years to come. I lost it. There’s been some amazing people who’ve said some wonderful things about the show, but the Mariah Carey tweet, to me, was like, I don’t even know how to process that. I think back to being a teenager, putting up Mariah Carey posters on my bedroom walls. It was a full-circle moment.

The last time we chatted you told me that one episode in particular this season made you cry. Why is it so meaningful to you?

It’s a layered thing. I find it sometimes quite emotional to be in the position that I am in, to be able to tell queer stories and show them on a mass scale, to write moments and stories, and in this particular case a love story, that seems to really affect people. It’s hard not to think back to a time in your life where you didn’t have that kind of freedom. For me, I think back to high school when I was still in the closet and wondering if I would ever be able to live out in the open. To now be in the position that I am, getting to write what I find to be a really lovely queer romance that millions of people get to watch, it’s quite profound.

And how about the episode’s impact on you?

It’s a particular moment that I had to write that is something that most queer people go through and articulating that, dramatizing that, is just a very meaningful episode for me and for a character in our show. It’s a coming out episode. So getting to write that and trying to find a way around that kind of story that’s been told several times in film and television and literature, finding a dynamic way into that story and out of that story, was probably the greatest joy and challenge I’ve had as a writer for TV. And now that we’ve cut and polished the episode it’s my proudest episode we’ve done as a show.

Given that you understand the weight of this show on your audience, I’m guessing David and Patrick will never break up.

(Laughs) Um, I don’t ever want them to, but you never know what happens. All I know is that we do understand what our fans are enjoying and we certainly wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize their loyalty.

It’s the first successful relationship I’ve had in a while and it’s not even mine.

Funnily enough, me too.

For the Schitt’s Creek: Up Close & Personal tour, you and some cast members are touring various U.S. cities. How did the idea for the tour start and are there any Tina Turner musical numbers?

(Laughs) The idea for the tour started mainly because I think so much of the success of our show is based on the enthusiasm and the word-of-mouth that has come from our fans. And the feedback that I’ve received from our fans has been so much more than, “We love your show”; it’s long letters about how this show has provided sort of a safe space, a happy space, a joyful space in dark times. We seem to have a relationship with the people who watch our show and love our show that is slightly deeper than I think the relationship that a lot of people have with the shows that they watch on TV.

Shooting the show in Canada, we don’t ever really have access to a lot of our fans. We shoot for three months out of the year and the rest of the time is me editing or writing the show, and a lot of the response and feedback we got from fans was a desire to interact with the cast, and so we started developing this idea. It’s a Q-and-A, it’s very casual. We show some things we’ve never shown before, we show some behind-the-scenes stuff, we show some bloopers, and there may or may not be a musical performance that may or may not involve a Tina Turner song sung by someone who may or may not play my boyfriend on a television show (laughs). But for us, it’s a great way for us to meet our fans and for the fans to come and say hi in person. We did our first in Los Angeles a little while ago and it was incredible. There was so much love in the room.

Regarding the writing, do you think in terms of meme-able moments in the writers’ room?

No, no! In fact, there was some kind of Instagram sticker – you know the GIF stickers you can use? There’s one of Moira that apparently had like a billion views or something insane, and I’m always sort of amazed how people have taken moments from our show and turned them into these little internet memes, because when we’re writing we never really think about that. But it’s quite an expressive show (laughs), so I understand how it would be very easy to take some reactions from our cast and make some sort of universal reactions of disgust or confusion.

I used your face when I was disappointed by the Golden Globe nominations.

(Laughs) I’m so happy that I could be there for you in that time.

Has working on this show and writing queer characters with your dad bonded you in ways you didn’t expect it to?

I honestly don’t know, actually. The show has been sort of wonderful in the sense that we have been put in a position where we get to see each other every day. I think just going through the experience of making this show and seeing its success has been a wonderful thing for the two of us.

There are just times in your life when things happen that you’ll never forget and you know that you’re sort of in the middle of doing something quite special and lasting, so I know that whatever I do after this show, we’ll always have this time together, we’ll always have this sort of chapter of our lives that we got to immortalize on screen, which is quite lovely.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2019/02/28/schitts-creek-creator-dan-levy-talks-queer-journey/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.tumblr.com/post/183119013920

[cryptswahili]

Wendy McElroy: Interview With Jeffrey Tucker on All Things Crypto, Part Two

Interview with Jeffrey Tucker on All Things Crypto, Part Two

Conducted by Wendy McElroy

The multi-faceted Jeffrey Tucker is an American writer who focuses on market freedom, anarcho-capitalism, and cryptotech. He is the author of eight books on economics, politics, and culture, a much-sought after conference speaker, and an Internet entrepreneur. Jeffrey is editorial director and vice president of the venerable American Institute for Economic Research, founded in 1933. His career has focused on building many of the web’s primary portals for commentary and research on liberty, and is undertaking new adventures in publishing today.

I have incredible good fortune, as Jeff has written the preface to my book “The Satoshi Revolution,” which will be published in early 2019 by bitcoin.com. Meanwhile, a rough draft of the book is available online for free, compliments of bitcoin.com. Be sure to come back for the substantially-rewritten and thoroughly-edited book. I expect there will be a forum established here for me to chat with readers and answer their questions.

To access Part One of this interview, please click here.

Wendy: I was very impressed by an article in which you argued against the idea that Misesian regression theorem invalidated bitcoin as a money. For readers, the Regression theorem claims “Any valid medium of exchange (money) has to have a previous use as something else.” Could you offer an overview of your argument?

Jeff: Mises’s argument was that the root value of money traces to a conjectural history in which the pre-money form was deployed, for example, in barter. By 1949, Mises became hardened in this view: money had to originate in barter; there is no other path. From a historical point of view, this is probably correct. But it is a theoretically misleading formulation.

To understand the theory behind the conjectural history, you have to return to Mises’s original 1912 argument. Here he is more precise. In order for something to become money, it had to have a pre-existing use value. Use value. That’s not the same thing as being used in barter trade. His point was that you can’t take a useless thing and call it money and expect it to take flight.

How can we reconstruct the history of Bitcoin to discern if this applies here? From the January 2009 genesis block until October of that year, Bitcoin’s posted dollar exchange value was exactly $0. And yet we know, because we have a perfect historical record, that there were many thousands of trades being made all these 10 months. What was happening? What was going on? This was a period in which the network was being tested by enthusiasts. What does this network do? It permits the peer-to-peer exchange of immutable information packets on a geographically non-contiguous basis using the Internet so that they can come and go without corruption or compromise.

Is this a valuable service and does it work? This is what was being tested. By October, the use value of this network had proven itself, and so we began to see the emergence of a dollar/Bitcoin exchange ratio. That is to say, Bitcoin was priced as a scarce good. We can see, then, that the conditions of the “Regression Theorem” as theory are met via the services provided by the blockchain. You can also see, however, that if an economist looking at this did not understand the payment system embedded as part of the monetary technology, he or she would be completely befuddled.

To be sure, some very smart people disagree with me. My friend William Luther is blunt about his opinion about his matter. He thinks the Regression Theorem is just wrong, so it doesn’t matter if Bitcoin is theoretically compliant. He once made the argument to me and pretty much backed me into a corner. If he turns out to be correct, I’m fine with that. What matters more, my theory or existing reality? I faced that problem in early 2013 and concluded that I had, as a matter of intellectual integrity, to defer to reality, even if it meant admitting the wrongness of my position or even that of Mises’s. Shocking, I know!

Wendy: The crypto community parallels the libertarian one, in ways both good and bad. An example of the latter is the deep personal schisms with which it is rift. You are a person who stays away from internecine battles. What advice do you have to others who wish to do the same?

Jeff: I try to stay focused on the big picture and imagine that my audience is not my friend network but rather the general public. I try to serve that readership. That means no Twitter wars. No flame wars at all. Plus, I’ve seen vast destruction spread by vicious internecine battles. I’ve seen friendships wrecked, bad theory perpetrated by virtue of ego alone, massive setbacks take place in understanding and marketing. Also, there are some people who are ideologically attached to the friend/enemy distinction. Unless they are smashing someone and hitting “the enemy” they think they are not working. It’s extremely strange how some people thrive off this posture.

To be sure, I have no trouble taking a stand, as I have when libertarians have wrongly drifted left and right. Why? I like to seek greater intellectual clarity and share my thoughts with others, in hopes that I can help others understand too. I’m not seeking saints and not looking to burn witches. I try to choose my battles carefully and stay focused on doing productive work, cooperating with anyone who thinks, writes, and acts in good faith. That’s the main thing to ask yourself, not “Who have you destroyed today?” but rather, “What kind of light have I brought to the world today?”

Wendy: Different explanations of crypto’s recent plunge in price have been advanced. Some people point to increased government regulation, especially in China and in the U.S., where the SEC is taking active steps against the crypto community. Many believe the tumble resulted from a bursting bubble that was created by surging prices earlier in 2018. Still others speak of manipulation by “the whales.” These explanations are not mutually exclusive, of course. But do you favor one over the other? Do you have another explanation?

Jeff: It’s impossible to untangle all of this, and many of the factors you name are right, but let me add another issue. The amazing bull market of 2017 was fueled by wild optimism and adoption. People in the space were ready to rock. Then this optimism was massively interrupted by a terrible realization. Bitcoin would not scale. It stopped behaving like Bitcoin and started becoming more expensive and slower than regular credit cards. To use street parlance, it sucked. It was an amazing thing to have happened. It was a true calamity. And to top it off, it was completely the fault of the guardians of the code. When the code would not adapt to broader use, the optimism turned to pessimism and we experienced a huge setback.

By the way, I’ve worked for years with people who are geniuses at code but completely stupid when it comes to the user experience. It was the tragedy of Bitcoin that it fell prey to exactly this same problem. Coders desperately desire cleanliness, zero bloat, no cruft, perfect logic. It’s an old joke in the community that a coder invites you to use his new program but all you see on the black screen is a blinking green cursor. “Of course I still have to write the user interface.”

The OCD-ish mind of coders is a great thing for some purposes but this outlook has never prevailed in the commercial marketplace. In the early 1990s, there was a great battle over word processors. Microsoft kept making Word larger and larger, puffed with cruft, and the code monkeys were screaming that this was a disaster in the making. For my own part, I hated Word in those days and completely agreed that the hard-to-use light-weight programs were better.

But guess what? The market disagreed. Moore’s Law kicked it as it always does and eventually Word destroyed the competition. Why? Because it had more features that users like. Eventually the code got clean again and now Word itself has many elegant competitors. This is the normal progression of any software with a consumer focus.

Incredibly, some people with the keys to the kingdom of Bitcoin actually came to imagine that they could develop a digital money without an efficient, consumer-focussed use case. They drove a wedge between two functions: store of value and medium of exchange. This is not how much work. One function depends on the other. The freeze in the development of Bitcoin, in the name of staying light and elegant, was a fool’s errand. During all the scaling debates of 2014-16, they dug in their heels, shouting slogans, guarding their small blocks, instead of thinking about adoption and scaling when the time came.

When the time did come, Bitcoin did not perform. It fact – and it pains me to say this – it completely flopped.

Old school Bitcoiners like me were horrified to see it all happening. It was like an old friend had become possessed. When the mempools exploded, and the miners were in a position to ration trades based on price, it would cost $20 to send $2. This was in the fall and winter of 2017. It was absolutely disgraceful, and all the more so because the newly emergent “maximalists” defended this preposterous reality, acting if as this was part of the plan all along. They were like PeeWee Herman explaining that when he fell off the bike that he “meant to do that.” They flagrantly ignored even the title of the White Paper. Then the fork came in August of 2017, as it necessarily had to. But then followed a tremendous explosion of tokens of all sorts.

I don’t regret the competition, and I think this is all a good thing. I’m not a Bitcoin Maximalist. I’m a Competition Maximalist. But the absurdities of Bitcoin’s performance could have been completely avoided with just a bit of concern for the user. I would love it if we could perform a controlled experiment and see the BTC price today if the thing had properly scaled. We can’t do that. We have the reality we have.

Privately, of course, Bitcoin Core developers will admit that this was a disaster and that scaling will eventually take place on the chain. But at this point, pride and arrogance had gotten the best of them. How long will they continue to promise the Lightning Network while showing no concern for the use case? It’s time for a bit of humility.

To be sure, the Lightning Network is super great. We run a node at the Atlanta Bitcoin Embassy. I look forward to its final stability and adoption. The problem is that this was proposed as an eventual solution to the scaling problem that currently exists. Real-time technological development has to deal with problems in real time according to the time schedule of the market rate of adoption. Markets don’t obey code architects; the reverse has to be the case. Bitcoin Core forgot that at the very point it mattered most.

Wendy: Whatever the probable explanation(s), do you have a sense of when or whether crypto markets are likely to rebound significantly? Do you have a sense of what will cause a rebound or prevent one?

Jeff: Like all enthusiasts, I do expect a turnaround. Remember that I’ve been in these markets since BTC was $14. I’ve seen wild swings and long periods of nothingness. I’m prepared for anything.

Wendy: A debate within crypto parallels one I have heard between gold bugs. That is, should one take physical possession of precious metals, or they can be stored with reputable entities. In crypto, the parallel argument is whether coins should be in private wallets with undisclosed keys, or can they be stored with exchanges that do not demand possession of the keys?

Jeff: That is an interesting parallel! I think it is a valid one. I’m disappointed with the rise of what are effectively Bitcoin Banks that now dominate the market. I’ve reluctantly concluded that there is indeed a demand for financial intermediation, even within crypto. Here is a case where my own preferences are being overridden by market choice. That said, intermediation in crypto is not going to have the problems that it does in a central banking world. We have transparency. We have clear lines of ownership. We know the difference between money and a money substitute. I don’t necessarily think that intermediation is an evil thing in the crypto world.

Wendy: Any other thoughts you’d like to share on this subject?

Jeff: I would council Bitcoiners and anyone who sees the potential of this technology to be patient. Think back to railroads and how they came to be. The headlines were all about land speculation, wildcat banks, stock fraud, bankruptcies, and crashes. The reality, in the end, was a transformed world. It was true with the Internet too. People said for years that no one could make money on the Internet. The dotcom crash of 2000 seemed to prove it. Now Internet commerce leads the world. It will be a long time before crypto becomes competitive with nationalized money, and even longer before the pundit class comes around.

The important point is that we have the knowledge. We have the technology. We know now that it is possible. It can be done. There is no longer any excuse for not turning over the production and management of money itself to the market.

Also let us not forget what matters most. Bitcoin is a technology but the goal is much more grand: a better, more peaceful, more prosperous world. I’ve seen it myself how this works. When you pull down the barriers, when you provide opportunities for people to cooperate, beautiful things happen. I see it constantly at the Atlanta Bitcoin Embassy. This is a place where people from all walks of life come together in a spirit of joyful cooperation to build the future. This inspires me more than anything else and points to the kind of future that can be built by a P2P technology. It’s a microcosm of what life in the cryptocon can be like.

Wendy: Thank you, Jeff! This has been fascinating.

[To be continued next week.]

Reprints of this article should credit Bitcoin.com and include a link back to the book

Wendy McElroy has “published” her new book The Satoshi Revolution exclusively with Bitcoin.com. However, things aren’t over yet. Every Saturday you’ll find another installment in a series of interviews about sections of the book with people like Doug Casey, L.Neil Smith, Jeff Tucker, Carl Watner…and so on. Altogether they’ll make up her new book ”The Satoshi Revolution”.

The post Wendy McElroy: Interview With Jeffrey Tucker on All Things Crypto, Part Two appeared first on Bitcoin News.

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