#i guess im kind of lost in like
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more and more lately for some reason ive been considering getting a job w the national parks service or at some kind of state park like a forest ranger
#demi.txt#atm my main goal is just to get a stable job that pays enough that i can build/own my own house#government jobs like that are pretty good i hear#if i work that for like 20 years maybe i can get some solid retirement checks#40 with like a thousand or 2 checks in the mail sounds pretty good#i like being outside too#i think it would be a nice job#ive been thinking about job stuff a lot lately#im going to enter college soon#like next year hopefully#im just not sure what to study#i guess im kind of lost in like#deciding if i want to focus on my hobbies or something more stable#i thought about going into animation or game design but idk those are a lot less stable#and i hear both those industries are really difficult to work in for a lot of reasons#if i get a nice government job like this i could maybe do that for awhile and then focus on my other stuff later? ugh idk though#im worried ill like. lose my hobbies or passion for art if i get a full time job in something else#i work a small public service/city job rn and its like been making me consider getting into recreation as a career path possibly#my dad is a college art professor and he makes really really good money and doesnt even work full time and hes been suggesting maybe#that i get into that but idk if i would like teaching or be a good teacher#he gets really good benefits too though#like dental and medical#ugh but if i did that i would want to like. start quickly so i can move up to being a full professor fast too and i kind of want to#try different careers and shit. maybe thats something i could possibly go into once im older#hmm yeah#yeah#hough. idk though like if i become a forest service person and do that for 20 years would a college even wanna hire me?#i wouldnt really have the experience.. i would have to go back to college for that and then get some experience with that#ugh...... thinking about getting older is scary!!! :(#i need to hustle more
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.Ā
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzyās face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.Ā
āIsrael-goddamn-Hands!ā he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging āSamuel-fucking-Bellamyā, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he canāt keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still thereās an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mateās aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that somethingās different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal heās been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. āIsrael, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safeā
And Izzyļæ½ļæ½ hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam ā...Weāre staying in port for a week. Ask me again thenā
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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oooh wait so the plot hole of āwhy doesnt a spirit medium just channel the victims spiritā is literally bc the DL-6 spirit channeling cant be repeated huh
#im so fucking slow I was brushing my teeth thinking abt Gregory edgeworth in mayas clothes#and I havenāt played aa1 so I donāt actually know the details of it in case I get to play it for myself#but they brought up the spirit channeling mistake with misty and how it basically shot down the kurain techniques credibility right#and like. I guess trying to do that again would be a repeat of that incident which ended up with an innocent person being convicted#so Phoenix not only has to channel Mia because sheās the smarter better lawyer but also because summoning the victim#isnt exactly the first time itās happened and gotten someone the guilty verdict. huh#replaying justice for all 2-4 so the case with Maya spirit channeling#and after playing aa3 I can really appreciate how much thought they put into the fey family and how a lot of the games events#revolve around it.#Mayas powers arent a ālong lost ancestorā as an excuse for her having powers. it is clearly and heavily expanded on#and the infighting makes so much sense when you consider the power differences between branch and main families.. and Mia becoming a lawyer#to find out what happened to her mother AND after being aware of that bloodshed and what it means for Maya#the way she chose Maya and didnāt want that for them. the way she put distance between them on purpose so they wouldnāt become like that#and Pearl is acknowledged as having more power than Maya but sheās fucking eight and loves Maya that she doesnāt see that as any#kind of power imbalance. heck when Morgan uses her for her plan in bridge to the turnabout Pearl was happy to do it#because Morgan said it was for pearls good and Pearl assumed that meant it would be good for Maya too and I šš#the branch system was originally made so that even if you werenāt chosen as the master you could still support the family by protecting the#main branch. and the irony of that being the reason why main family members are targeted to be usurped#iris outright rejecting the notion of communicating to the dead and everything the fey clan stands for#thereās so much fucking lore to this and I donāt see it talked abt enough?????????!?????#yapping#ace attorney#as
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Thinking about parallels between Ms. Beast and Tower. They're both the result of choosing to fight the princess and losing (no-knife and knife routes respectively), both have similarly boastful personalities and see you as beneath them (prey and a pet).
Something about how one becomes an animal and the other becomes a god, yet both transformations are equally dehumanizing.
#does this make any sense at all ajshgdajshdgas#am i stating the obvious. i might be stating the obvious#slay the princess#stp#stp beast#stp tower#like OK with Ms. Beast it's obvious. She's an animal. She operates on animal instinct#you can't really 'reason' with her because she's - in my opinion - not really acting out of malice#law of the jungle baby. You either die or get eaten#You can't reason with Tower either bc you are the coughing baby to her hydrogen bomb#she dgaf what you have to say. You brought a knife to a fistfight and you still lost. cmon man#Shifty says of ms beast that she's still fighting to devour you#and of tower (im always rotating this line in my mind)#she 'would not be able to mourn you'#both are kind of subjugated to their own natures (does that sentence make sense at all aksgdajhsd)#i guess you could totally argue the same for Witch but her behavior kind of strikes me as more driven by her emotions#instead of just being something she inherently is#anyway do you think the devs knew when creating Beast that they would potentially be making her the victim of endless mr beast jokes#or do you think they're blissfully unaware of who mr beast is
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in my dream last night they released a bill cipher themed soda called Decipher and I tried to go get some but insane wacky nonsense kept interrupting me before I could. I mean the nonsense had to do with the plot of the rest of the dream but it just kept showing up at the exact moment that I was about to get my soda. Ive just remembered the plot of the rest of the dream was that all of the straw hat piratds were there at tbis theme park we were in and some other group of pirates were trying to bully nico robin. the other pirate group was goth btw. their captain almost died from getting splashed with acid (by nico robin) (it was justified). But I didnt see that happen bc really I was mostly focused on getting my dumb soda.
#dream journal#yeah oh my god it was like. a one piece pre timeskip filler episode was happening at the same time as the rest of my dream. wild#and I was a part of the straw hat crew??? or friends with them or something???? i kept getting lost th#oh my god was i zoro. was i fucking zoro. i dont remember seeing zoro was i zoro and i didnt realize it??? help#zoro wants that stupid bill cipher soda . god damn it i remember wondering if it was alcoholic i think i was zoro and didnt even register#im lsoing it thats so funny. usually when im a character in my dreams i like. Know It. but being zoro didnt feel any different I guess šš#god no there were definitely parts where i was me or i tjought i was me. and my irl friends wer ethere also.#i guess it was one of those dumb fading in and out things that happens in dreams sometimes#it did kinda feel like i was having two dreams at once#still i dont think i ever registered that anything was different when i was zoro so thats really fucking funny#and there was this whole 3rd plot line with made up people i dont know irl or from fiction.#it was kind of like sky high but completely different and with less white people...gah i dont rlly rember
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That ending was kind of shit...
#minors dni#arcane#arcane spoilers#im sorry but you cant kill off the best characters and expect me to enjoy that ending š#poor ekko#the only people to win here are cait and vi and not even vi truly won here. like yeah she got the girl. but she lost her sister to get her.#i know i love maddie (even more now she turned against cait) but jinx was the death to truly piss me off.#like maddie i thought she died when ambessa shot at her and cait- so i was like oh rip- oh wait shes still alive- oh rip again#but jinx dying after all this? horrible. like you really couldnt give that poor girl one chance at happiness#anyway im still living in the other dimension with powder and ekko. that shit was romantic af even for straight people#i didnt really care about the cait x vi sex scene?? im gonna be fr i only just remembered it. like yeah it was kind of hot but-#idk how to say this but cait and vi really dont do much for me as a pairing š¬ its like yassamy or luz amity-#like good for them i guess but theres nothing really to keep me interested? like oh they just end up happy... thats kind of boring. š¬#maybe its because im aromantic- i just dont get anything from seeing domestic happy relationships?? i like drama.#but at the same time i like powder x ekko so idk#arcane season 2#arcane season two
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"Him? Oh, you know, he's kind of a loser." - probably everyone except for his younger brother.
Germaine is based on the layer of hell (Dante's Inferno) for material wealth before self, others, and god. So basically very materialistic and possessive of his belongings. Unfortunately, his younger brother qualifies as a belonging in his mind. So he does his absolute best to keep his brother safe and sound and scratch free - which is a bit tough in a post apocalyptic setting but he mostly manages.
Also a fact I just like to mention: he is incapable of lying.
#my characters#germaine wellington#welp guess who watched an anime recently (its not complete) and the dad of the mc made em think of a loserman big brother oc#its me! correct! the dad just reminded me a bit of germaine and i blame appearances mostly but also the dad was kind of a loser (i love him#and germaine does practically raise tremaine which further messes up their absolutely awful codependency#like yeah both brothers would kill for many reasons (survival and resources mainly) but !#if tremaine lost germaine hed probably cry and become incapable of moving on and eventually just dying w no reason to live#but if germaine lost tremaine hed go insane cause no no no thats HIS brother and hed start blaming everyone#and lose all rationale and logic while hes actually one of the most logic based in the group#hes a loser but dont let him lose things or he loses it more#but when hes really mad at tremaine for whatever reason his best friend is like uh huh what are you gonna do about it#and germaine is like........... we both know i will sigh and accept it and probably pat him on the head next i see him#which is incredibly honest and exactly what he does because yeah hes mad but even mad he cannot say#im gonna slap some sense into him because thats a lie he wouldn't hurt his brother#everyone in their group knows he cant lie so when he gets hesitant after being asked something they just know#hes trying to plot the best way to skirt the answer bc its apparently Not Good#he looks angry and annoyed often but its just resting bitch face#he lights up when he sees tremaine and he lightens up a little with his best friend#like lil smiles for his bestie and brother but when talking ABOUT his brother? he lights up and beams because hes so proud#of the coolest and smartest thing in his life (his brother)
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me: im depressed and i have art block for drawing i guess i will try to write instead
the writing: bro this is just your own severe traumas portrayed through fictional characters you relate to & love at a distance
me:
#like ok i guess i will lie down until i am emotionally prepared lol hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#i kind of just dropped out of a lot of conversations and irl hangouts and i mean#im sorry honestly idek what to say#just kind of lost my marbles again tbh#for new followers of the Disco fandom i can describe it very accurately#imagine playing Harry at max skills 24/7#it's been this way for like 7 years for me#like the reason i connect with the game is because the inner monologue is so chaotic and distinctly fragmented to their own personalities#....im not well rn idk#i was better for a minute#i'll get back to it momentarily#it helped to play DE#maybe i just feel a bit lost now ive finished it
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Iāve been really thinking of reopening my art shop soonā¦ Iāve been taking some practice doodles (hence all the posting lately) while I shake off my rust and Iām finding things I enjoy working on again. I miss trying my hand at more dragons/OCs and colors. my shopās so broken rn lmao but thatās a problem for a later date itās just nice getting back into art
#my mental health is starting to improve a bit#took a couple years but I found some meds that finally work better for me#ofc things arenāt 100% but I was really in a pit for a while#like ādid not leave my house in months and slept 14 hours a dayā kind of pit#so. any improvement is better lol. but nah Iāve been making real improvement and im doing better. a lil shaky sometimes but thatās expected#diagnosed with chronic fatigue too. which is unfortunate but not unexpected. i am indeed godās sleepiest soldier#i feel like a raisin slowly rehydrating but considering i was in a desert before any hydration is welcome#just learning how to enjoy things again overall#one thing I just couldnāt get myself to do (and enjoy) was art. doodles here and there but nothing to post#and itās kind of funny because I feel like that downtime actually gave me a chance to think about what I wanted to work on#even when I wasnāt actively practicing#just paying attention to things I guess. enjoying art styles#i genuinely think my experimenting with stained is helping me learn colors#i spend hours in the scryshop im glad itās paying off lmao#i want to tackle bigger things but i just gotta ease myself into the hang of things again#for now im having fun and thatās coooool. thank you all for your nice comments#i read all tags while kicking my feet and giggling. thank u all#thatās the update on Me tho. more to come hopefully#starting next month/julyish I will have a significant amount of time to dedicate to drawing which i intend on doing#so who knooowwwsss#rambles#funny enough coloring has become my favorite part of the process now. it used to be lineart. now lineart annoys me LOL#i also feel like i kinda lost my ability to write which has been frustrating but im focusing on art first#anyways thatās a whole different tangent rant over
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thought abt sotmverse kon & clark things too hard and put myself in the soup. im in the sauce. im floating face down
#rimi can have little an extreme self indulgence. as a treat#its the kind of self-indulgence thats so contrived i hesitate to put it on paper (...on screen i guess) but also. owauahghgh#owaughghhg but like in the š„ŗš„°š„ŗš„° way. you know.#im in the SAUCE. IM LOST in the SAUCE!!!!#anyway i must go lie down for a bit. and then do things of the useful variety. but i Will be rotating them as i do so#rimi talks
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silly guys that make me lose followers on tumblr dot com
#my art lol#vocaloid#zhiyu moke#persona 3#ryoji mochizuki#omfg lmao i normally dont do this kind of thing ever... but the circumstances are so fucking funny i HAD to#no cause its so amusing to me. so u can put up w/ my unhinged ramblings in the tags a bunch of dumb uninteresting shit etc#but seeing the same fuckass gif too many times in a row is the final straw?? ok sure#LIKE IM NOT REALLY MAD OR ANYTHING its just hilarious to me that THAT is some (2) people's final straws w me. thats their limit#i only reserve spam reblogging the same post in a row for very special occasions when im extremelyyyyyy unwell abt smthn (pos or neg)#so its really funny to me that on two separate occasions that was enough for two separate people to unfollow my main. LOL#couldnt handle the mokening/ryojiing šš tragic! anyways.#NO BUT ALSO i once did reblog. the same video of shadow the hedgehog like 50+ times in a row#i dont remember if i lost anyone because of that though??? if i didnt then THATS HILARIOUS LOL everyone just loves shadow#but some fuckin chinese computer program and death the teenage boy??? i want those twinks obliterated. blocked and unfollowed.#my lessons ive learned: i can weaponize random ass gifs of random ass anime boys i guess?????????#also this is from today. and serves as a good precursor to whats abt to happen which happened far from today š„“šššš
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I think doing shipping through and aroace lens makes things complicated but also interesting. I think one reason I don't enjoy straight ships as much is because it's very rare for people write/talk about them with a queerplatonic dynamic. straight romance is so "normalized" in society, it's hard to get any other dynamic out of those ships from other people in conversation or writing. it's mostly always romantic. (especially when "guys and girls can't be *just* friends" is extremely common and has ruined mamy of my own friendships) but I enjoy a handful of a straight ship with that dynamic. it's just way more rare to see talked about than gay ones from my observation. anyway point is, more queerplatonic type ships and stuff please! those aren't explored enough!
#its really hard for me to describe what queer platonic means to me and how i see it and how that applies to ships i enjoy or even irl#i guess one way to explain it is being life partners without the need for romantic/sexual stuff and they dont date other people#dedicated to each other for life and act like partners but arent romantic/sexual about it.#example are cynonari. they adopter collei togther and are dedicated to each other. but theyre very fun as queer platonic relationship#and for straight version theres himeko and welt. a strong pair. work well togther. our train parents. platonic but life partners#partners in this crazy space train adventure that take care of us gremlin kids#and then theres also the queer straight platonic dynamic that's fun as well. 2 queers who form a straight platonic ship#think kafblade. how i like to imagine it is a lesbian and agender-aroace-gay-in-previous-life come together as platonic life partners#playing with this stuff and going outside the normal gender/sexuality box is fun#lee text#lee rambles#ive seen hi3 fans get very loudly upset about hsr fans shipping himeko and welt. but i never see them discussed as queerplatonic!#it could make everyone happy haha. life partners but not the romance. theyre our train parents but they arent a married couple!#disclaimer: ship your own ships. this is only about my ships and how i feel#before identifying as nonbinary i was subjected to the whole āguys and girls cant be just friendsā bulshit and lost friends over it#im not even allowed to be friends with people as an aroace if im seem as a binary gender!!!!! it makes me so angry#i think straight shipping as an aroace that enjoys queerplatonic dynamics is a very weird trigger for bad feelings from those experiencesš
#but its not why i prefer thos dynamic. the why is just being aroace in general and wanting that kind of relationship if i had a partner#but having a side of straight obsessed people ruining our friendships over their straight obsession feels bad#by straight obsession i mean we cant be friends anymore because they decided they saw me as a binary gender opposite theirs š#and accused me of liking them and said im the one that ruined the relationship#where was i going with this i think im just rambling and info dumping about my brain stuff too much š
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allow me to get yaoiful about the canadian tennis curse real quick. anyways. possible correlation between the downfall of denisā career and whatever messy breakup he and felix had. when was the last time we had proof of them being besties. back when denis was doing well. coincidence?? also, what even happened there. because felix in those atp youtube videos always says āMY GOOD FRIEND denis shapovalovā etc etc. he always always says my good friend. even like a month ago or whenever the last time he was in atp video was. but then, denis does not give him the time of day it seems. like what is that about. anyways, if they played doubles together again (rogers cup pleaseeee for the home crowd š) i think denis would be back on the rise. and post
#only like. 15% serious about any of this#but i would like to see them do doubles again#but denis. dont you remember sleeping in felixās basement in montreal and ripping down his rafa poster#and then BEATING rafa the next day??#not that i expect someone to stay besties with their friend from when they were 16#but in tennis world that is kind of the norm tbh due to the nature of the tour etc#but yes. is it not bizarre that denis isnt inviting felix to his wedding? i think its strange. thatās ur guyā¦#tennis#shapo#felix#idk i guess im in a denis mood today i seem to be blogging about him a lot#i mean he played and lost today but still#1:45am time to think about denis and felix really really hard again for the millionth time#sooo it turns out your childhood fav player is going to stick with you forever. who knew#especially especially if they represent your country
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š¤©
#didnt pass the swedish class and the teacher dediced itll be smart to inform me about this at 2am on christmas eve :))))))))))))))))))#cried only a little bit but haha merry christmas!!!#its not all lost i get to retake it in jan instead of having to like. do the whole course again but fucking hell man#whats with the timing?? couldnt she spare me until at least christmas day??????#and im gonna have to retake it before my birthday or im sure im gonna have some kind of a breakdown about it#so. not free yet i guess. hopefully ill be free next year#if hell is real its gonna be this endless fucking nightmare of a course#my post#im more pissed off than like. devastated but i cant say im NOT devastated yk#its been so hard with this and to hear NOW OF ALL TIMES that its not over?? i have to spend my holiday studying more swedish?????#well it does make me cry a little bit i cant lie#whatever im just gonna try and forget it for tomorrow at least#i cant believe the teachers like actually trying to kill me though. like what the hell
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To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that āØš
š¾ššŗ Single Lifeā¢. You are a middle-aged man. Cope
#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad#but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to#its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro š#HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j#like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal#but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip#(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA#ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances-#and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like āwell okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing mattersā and then kill people#LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny#like āokay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okayā#and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood#without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now#for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why#like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ#you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially#whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not#ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing#but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? š§ like okay boo u do u#i will gladly give up my mantle for the āmost reasonable opinionsā guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts#malistaire drake
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genuinely so put off by all and any form of romance at this point like... I just want money and free-time and to be alone
#seeing exes move on and like... they can but i just get an overwhelming desire to stay alone when i see that for some reason#also genuinely lost at what i want to do next and where to go so like#but i kinda want kids before im too old too hehehe its so perfect#virgo tendencies? adhd tendencies? it feels impossible to settle on places and people#I want to work maybe 15-30 hrs a week and just vibe easily#see my old friends and practice my hobbies#guess i could become a nun or something if all else fails#<- that was a joke btw#can i just find someone to have 1-2 kids with and we divorce already? š#unless its someone like my vampire priest - i'd stay forever#kind of a cry for help but moreso i just wanna know if this is normal or not#or relatable at all#josie.txt
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