#i guess if it's from a piece of media that doesnt take place in a fantasy setting its not as bad but

[slotheyes]

I hate being jump-scared by characters bluntly announcing their sexual orientation in fan fiction. Like obv i have no issue with queer characters and I usually enjoy coming out stories but im sorry I don't think sasuke uchiha would turn to someone, sigh, and say "I'm gay" just like that.

Like yeah he's gay but would he fucking say that

[ghostxrose]

𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑴𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒀𝒐𝒖 | 𝑩𝒂𝒌𝒖𝒈𝒐 𝑲𝒂𝒕𝒔𝒖𝒌𝒊 & 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

Summary ~ You love Katsuki. You worship him like the God he is. You would do anything for him. So what is this switch that flipped in your mind when you finally have him?

Tags/Warnings ~ Fem!Psycho!Reader, yandere themes, characters are in their 20's, stalking, roofying, dubcon/noncon but sex doesnt happen, Idk what else to tag.. psycho-shit, I guess lol

Note ~ Hey y'all.. I really have no explanation for this one.. I wanted to try my hand at writing twisted/psycho stuff and this is what I churned out. Now, it is based off of a couple of songs (All Around Me by Flyleaf and God Complex by Violent Vira) so just like Nicotine, I'm sorry if it's cringe. Welp, buckle in Lovelies because Reader really said "Marbles? What marbles??"

The day you got hired on as a secretary for Dynamight’s hero agency was the single greatest day of your life. You had been following the progress of Dynamight’s career since he started to get famous back in high school. Ever since you were thirteen years old and had first seen him on your TV during the UA Sports Festival his first year, you had known that he was the one.

Every video, news article, and picture uploaded online of Dynamight, aka Katsuki Bakugo, was automatically saved to your phone or computer so that you could look at him anytime you wanted. His loud and brash personality, explosive Quirk, and frequent encounters with villains made sure to keep him within the media’s sights and it really felt like he was all around you.

“Every time I see his face.. it’s like he’s thickening the air I’m breathing but in the best way possible. Like I’m burning and not used to seeing him, not used to seeing a God. Something about him makes me feel like I’m alive.” You dazedly tried explaining to a friend one day when they had noticed your obsession taking off not long after Katsuki’s hero debut.

Of course, your friend had no idea what you were going on about and had looked at you with such concern and.. fear. You couldn’t understand how your friend didn’t see the white light that shone behind Katsuki, illuminating the sacred being so brightly that you cry sometimes. How, in your dreams, Katsuki takes your outstretched hand and promises to never leave you as you shout your beliefs in him, tell him that you worship him, and make sure he knows that he owns your heart and soul.

Now, years later, you no longer speak to that friend or any of your old friends. You don’t speak to anybody, really, but you don’t care. All you need is Katsuki and now, working at his agency, you’re going to have him.

Your Quirk, when it manifested, was registered as a weak and non-threatening anesthetic gaseous-type Quirk. When activated, your Quirk came out of your mouth upon an exhale as a colorless and odorless gas that you could control the potency of if you were to train it. The only tell that your Quirk had when it was activated was your body feeling physically colder to the touch. And, luckily enough for you, you are immune to the effects of your anesthetics with the exception of hypothermia from overuse.

Weak and non-threatening; that’s what your Quirk had been.. when you were a little kid. But you’ve trained with it in secret over the years, your test subjects being any animals you could get close enough to and unsuspecting people. You have worked hard to master the levels of potency depending on the subject, the proximity you would need to be to a subject, and keeping yourself warm so as to keep from developing hypothermia when pushing the limits of your Quirk.

You spent years putting together your plan and perfecting every single detail. The final piece of your puzzled plan falling into place when you discreetly snagged the Quirk canceling cuffs from an overly flirtatious officer that was chatting you up one day at the agency. You had blown a puff of weakly potented gas their way and the fucker had spent the next 20 minutes in a dazed high too busy poorly flirting with you to realize that you had made any move to touch them at all.

Currently, it’s a little after ten at night and Katsuki has just walked into the agency to finish up his shift then change out of his hero costume. You’re sitting in your car that’s parked not far from his in the lot and getting into character. You have about twenty five to thirty minutes until Katsuki walks out of the building and to his car, the perfect amount of time.

Your forehead is resting against the top of your steering wheel, your hands clutching the sides tightly with white knuckles, and loud sobs leave your mouth. A knocking on your window startles you and your head jerks up to see who it could possibly be at this late hour. There is a watery and truly pitiful look on your face when your eyes connect with sharp crimson ones.

You reach a shaky hand out to the door handle and open it slowly so Katsuki has time to move back to allow you to open the door fully. Your car’s interior lights don’t kick on, in fact none of your car’s lights come on, when you open the door and you let out a pathetic whimper.

“What are you still doing here?” Katsuki asks, his gruff tone holding slight irritation and discomfort.

Mentally you melt over the sound of that rough voice speaking words to you. You let the sound play on loop in your mind as you answer him in the most ‘helpless-damsel-in-distress’ voice you can manage.

“I-I’m s-so s-sorry, Dynamight, S-Sir.. M-my car w-won’t s-start.. I-I’m not s-sure wh-what’s wrong with i-it..” You stutter out between sobs.

“You didn’t think to call a friend to come get ya? Or maybe a tow truck?” Katsuki questions exasperatedly and you let out a couple more sobs.

“I-I h-haven’t m-made any fr-friends, y-yet.. I-I’m s-still new a-around h-here.. Pl-plus m-my ph-phone i-is d-dead..” You cry and stutter out then put your face into your hands.

Katsuki lets out a heavy and annoyed sigh, “Okay, okay, just calm down. Fuck, alright, let me take a look. I know some shit about cars.”

Your head snaps up and you look at him with max amounts of pathetic relief, “R-really?! Th-thank y-you so much, Dynamight!”

Katsuki rolls his eyes, “Yeah, yeah, and just call me Bakugo. I’m not in my damn hero gear right now. And pop the hood.”

“S-sorry, Bakugo..” You quietly apologize, then attempt to look for the lever to pop the hood. Out of the corner of your eye, you see the emotions of Katsuki’s short fuse flicker across his face before he schools his features and takes a deep breath.

“Move. I’ll do it.” He says curtly and you move out of the way for him.

“Thank you so much, Katsuki.” You say, your voice sultry and free of the shaky patheticness it’s held the whole time.

“The fuck did you just s-” He tries to angrily question but you’ve already blown a cloud of gas his direction and the effects are almost immediate. His face changes to surprise as his body gives out and falls back into your driver’s seat, then within seconds his eyes close and his breaths deepen.

You act quickly, pulling the Quirk canceling cuffs from behind your back and securing them around his wrists. You hum a happy tune to yourself as you move his unconscious body to the back seat with minimal struggle. Luckily, you have been hardcore working out in preparation for this part of the plan. You just knew that like any other God out there, Katsuki was built and densely packed full of muscle.

Once you have him situated in the backseat, you pop open the hood, reconnect your battery, then slide into the driver’s seat and start the car. ‘I know some shit about cars too, my lovely Katsuki!’ You think with a giggle as you leave the parking lot.

You drive for a few hours, occasionally blowing mentally measured doses of anesthetic gas into the backseat to keep Katsuki asleep. Finally, you drive carefully down a dirt road that leads to an old family farmhouse that you have fond memories of. The better of those memories being the most recent ones where you came out here to prepare the house so that it may be fitting of a God such as Katsuki. Though as you half drag, half carry his unconscious body into said house, something in you begins to feel.. ungratified.

You bring Katsuki to the guest room on the first story of the house and get him onto the bed. As an extra precaution, you blow a bit more gas into his face before going back out to the car to get your bags. Quickly getting back into the house and locking the front door behind you, you bring all of your stuff to the guest room and get to work.

In hindsight, it may have been a bit excessive buying chains to keep Katsuki in place.. but what if the cuffs failed at some point, huh? If you used rope then he would be able to blast right through them. At least chains would give him more of a challenge, and if there is anything that you know for sure about Katsuki, it’s that he loves a challenge.

So you get to work chaining each of his ankles to the bed posts at the foot of the bed. Then you disconnect the chain between the wrist cuffs and attach chains to each of his wrists that connect to the headboard. You stand back to look over your work, to take in his peaceful sleeping features, and realize that maybe you should have changed him before chaining him up.. Oh well, too late now, hopefully his jeans are comfy. All that’s left to do is wait for Katsuki to wake up.

It takes a total of three and a half hours for Katsuki to finally stir and begin to wake from his forced slumber. Grumbles of slurred curses fall from his mouth and his eyes flutter open as he brings a hand up to his head. You watch this whole waking process from a chair in the corner of the room, some thoughts that have accumulated over the last few hours weighing heavy in your mind.

“Where the fuck am I? The fuck’s going on?” Katsuki angrily asks, the slur of his words starting to wear off.

“You are in the presence of your biggest worshiper, Katsuki.” You answer calmly, your legs crossed and hands clasped in your lap.

“Jesus fucking christ! I’m gonna kill you, you psychotic bitch!!” Katsuki shouts and aims a hand at you in an attempt to send a blast your way while he also tries to launch himself off the bed.

When neither action is successful he stares down at himself in horror while you just let out a semi-tired sigh. He looks back up to you as horror, shock, rage, and whatever else may be bubbling under his skin fights over who gets to contort his face.

“Maybe I was your biggest worshiper.. I’ve been having some interesting thoughts and feelings since we got here.” You ponder out loud as you pick at the threads of your pants.

“You’re fucking crazy!! What the fuck have you done to my Quirk?! Do you know how fucking screwed you’re about to be when people find out you’ve.. Find out about what you’ve done?! Ever heard of fucking Tar-”

“Enough, Katsuki.” You say sharply while holding a hand up. “Isn’t this what you wanted? Why you became a hero? So you could be praised? Loved? Worshiped like the God you are? I mean, your full hero name is Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight.” You say, a now dark and twisting devotion gleaming in your eyes and a small smile on your lips.

“You have always been a God to me, Katsuki. Someone I have always found worthy of my love and devotion and worship. But finally having you here with me, something has changed..” You look down from Katsuki to stare intensely at a spot on the floor.

“You mean you finally lost your last fucking marble?!” Katsuki snarls out as he looks at the chains on his limbs.

“You can’t lose something you never truly had, my lovely Katsuki.. No no, it’s these feelings inside of me. They’re not so much conflicting as they are two sides of the same coin..” You try to explain but Katsuki is having none of it.

“You’re not making a lick of fucking sense to me, psycho bitch! Now, let me the fuck out!!” He shouts but you wave him off which aids in pissing him off more.

“My old feelings.. I’ve spent all of these years screaming to you that I wanna be your true love, the only one for you.. That I could be just who you need.. But now.. These new feelings.. I want to be the God now.” You say, your voice distant as pieces inside of you click.

You stand from your chair and Katsuki’s body tenses as he glares harshly at you and snarls. You step towards him with the body language and face of a mother who is trying to sweetly calm their child. Right as Katsuki brings his hands up, making to punch at you, you blow an invisible cloud of low dose anesthetic gas towards him.

You watch as his body relaxes and his glare softens to something more neutral-dopey. You send him just a little bit more, just to ensure your own safety, and wait for it to take effect before you climb onto the bed. You straddle his lap, your arms looping over his shoulders, and look into his clouded and dazed crimson eyes.

“Won’t you just plead for me now, Katsuki?”

“Y-yess..”

“You make me your God, Katsuki, and I’ll tear down the sky for you.”

“Y-Youu w-willl?”

“Mhmm, I’ll do it all for you for life, my love. We are meant to be, Katsuki Bakugo.”

“W-wee a-re m-eant t-to be..”

“Darling, please worship me..” You breathe against his neck, then start to kiss along it slowly.

The bottom of his jaw is as far as your lips get before something is suddenly coiling around your body and yanking you away from Katsuki. You shove down the urge to scream in favor of pulling in air so that you can exhale a large cloud of anesthetic gas but something wraps around your nose and mouth before you get the chance.

Your eyes dart to the doorway and connect with the glowing green eyes of Pro Hero Deku. Tears involuntarily begin to pour from your eyes and you’re not sure if it’s the fear, heartbreak, or lack of oxygen that’s getting to you. Your cries are muffled as Deku brings you closer to himself via the tendrils of his Blackwhip. He turns your body away from him while he slaps Quirk canceling cuffs on your wrists but you can feel his livid and burning gaze melting through your skull the whole time.

“Z-Zuku? Y-you’re here?” Katsuki questions dazedly from the bed.

It’s then that you see the ring on Katsuki’s left ring finger. It’s glowing a slowly pulsing red color and you scream at yourself for not checking him for tracking devices.

“Yes, Kacchan, I’m here. It’s okay now, Kacchan, you’re safe.” Deku says as he moves over to the bed to free Katsuki, all while Blackwhip squeezes tightly around you.

“Th-thanks, Zuku. Love you.” Katsuki murmurs to Deku but you could still hear him.

“I love you too, Kacchan, let’s go home.” Deku says as he breaks the final chain and picks up Katsuki.

“If there is any God that Kacchan worships it’s me, you psychotic bitch.” Deku darkly informs you as Blackwhip squeezes you even tighter and he drags you out of the house.

Note ~ Sooo.. did you like the little sprinkle of BKDK at the end there? Cute, right? *insert nervous laughter* Anywho, I hope that this fic does better here than it did on my AO3, Nicotine certainly has, so I have some hope. Stay tuned, My Lovelies, I think I'll start posting my newest fic soon! Oh and.. Happy Valentines Day, Lovelies, much loves to you all! <3

Divider Credit ~ @cyberangel-graphics

[luetta]

kinda wanna block every single person who i follow or follows me and start anew. i hate what my tumblr feed is now. its all fucking horny transposting and shitty online memes. it makes me feel so fucking stupid and vapid that is what i've curated my tumblr into being ... it just feels lame. if i was another person and i looked at luetta's blog, i wouldn't follow it. there's no analysis on media i like, any media that does appear is through a transgender lens. no aesthetics, just lewdness. and of course thinking about all of this, instead of just not giving a fuck about how my own personal blog is perceived, makes me feel like an idiot also. who gives a fuck? someone who still craves validation from others like a friendless little child, that's who. this website gives me dysphoria. and that's fucking cringe. i'm so lame. i'm a cookie cutter trans girl. blahaj and :3 and xdf htskligyterwuik girwa htuirog8yreabiraejk WHO FUCKING CARES WHAT SUBCULTURE YOU FIT INREGYT0IUTREHY 9E8TYU OJHTERYSU8YTERWMS8N 76E50W9TRW0 97Bwhat am i fucking even saying. i'm literally substanceless. i have no depth whatsoever. i've read no books. i've watched no movies. i've travelled to no places. i've experienced so little. i've literally done 1 single fucking thing in my life and that's figure out 6 years too late that i'm trans. woopdie doo. i did the bare minimum of introspection that comes with being a human. this is real life, i have to do more than that. i can't just sit in my room doing fucking NOTHING forever. i just need to suck it up and get a proper job and interact with people instead of just being content with doing nothing and fading away and then one day turning 40 and realising i've done nothing at all with my prime years. why is my brain so 9uhfeargu8io sdefrgu hypigfsd8dgsfht sgdftj puist ghreiouoy erthgt43qghrlyuv4qetwyulo4v53q2khglyiv354oiuy why do i just fucking keep on thinking about things it never fucking stops. there's never a single moment of respite from thinking about shit. i fucking hate my country, i just want weed to be legalised so i can do edibles every night and not have to fucking think constantly. but nooo i have to live in a fucking .... okay just going to stop typing because it's fucking cringe like every other opinion i have. you know what im going to type about instead? my ex-friend tom. you're a fucking piece of shit. why did you do this shit man? i don't fucking get it. literally what did i do for you to decide "i don't want to ever utter a SINGLE FUCKING WORD to you ever again". like what? we literally were connecting at such a deep friendship level. you pretty much came out to me when i came out to you. we hugged so tightly when we watched the succession finale together. and then you just fucking went AWOL. and yeah i get that you got addicted to benzos and went to rehab. but like ....... why does that mean you don't want to be my friend anymore? idk. i probs did something wrong because i'm a fuckup with fluctuating feelings and did something when i was in a 'fuck this guy' mood. urgh. idk. all my friends right now are cool but i still haven't found someone who shared so many similar interests as me. you're just a cunt to do this shit and make me have to get over you without any closure. i fucking hate myself. i just want to be someone else. throw all my belongings into a big fire and burn it up. go on a manic spree and fuck up my life. life just sorta sucks doesnt it? the fact that you have to work a fuckton and give away your body and time just so you can do things you want to do. i have dreams that ill never achieve probably. because i can't fucking do work. also my fucking boss is fucking dodging me about taking on more shifts than 1 every 3 weeks so i guess theyve fucking fired me. time to not be able to be on government support anymore !! because i need to work in order to keep it apparently !! good system. the purpose of a system is what it does. it wants you to suffer and die for not being a normal tall white man who works 10 hours a day in the auto shop. i hate everything i see. i'm unhappy.

[toaster-hair]

now that fionna and cake is done i just have... one little complaint...

before you say it yes i know its my fault for not watching adventure time before watching fionna and cake lmao

fionna and cake didnt meet my expectations. it surpassed them. that should be a good thing but for me, im not so sure.

i think this is gonna be a long one folks so strap in. also i have the memory of a gold fish so if i get a characters name wrong or something just bear with me.

so before i can really complain i need to talk about what went on before i started watching fionna and cake.

i always thought adventure time was cool. i watched some episodes as a kid but i never finished it. i liked the designs and the lore but i have a pretty good sense of telling what pieces of media id like and what i wouldnt (ex: my grandma told me id like harry potter but i just know that i would never). at the time i liked adventure time just not enough to watch all 10 seasons.

i knew some lore like betty becoming golb, bubbline hooking up, jake having kids etc

so when fionna and cake came out, i was excited. sure i wasnt planning on watching it until everyone started saying how good it was but by that point i figured itd be something id like.

i was pretty good at avoiding spoilers for each episode because i wasnt following anyone on tumblr who liked fionna and cake and the only spoilers i found were on twitter that i mostly just scrolled past.

so going into fionna and cake, really all i knew about the show was the trailer (specifically the first episodes intro, not sure if there was a trailer released of the actual intro or something) and a few screenshots. because of that the version of fnc that i came up with in my mind was... pretty different from the fnc we got. i love the fnc we have, but going in i thought itd be a pretty fanservicey slice of life show focusing on fionnas life as a depressed 20 something year old, with some magical parts mostly taking place in fionnas dreams. just something cute for the fans to watch without being that important to the overall story of adventure time. i guess ill just watch something like bee and puppycat for something like that.

i knew simon was in there but i thought hed show up in like, the 4th episode not in the immediate next one. and i also just feel like fnc doesnt focus on fionna and cake as much as simon. i get it, simon is basically the most important character in adventure time, i was just expecting that a show named fionna and cake would mostly be focused on fionna and cake. there are scenes that dawn on fionna and cakes narrative, but i feel like it just wasnt all that. like i feel like we dont really get to know them that well.

how did fionna first become friends with marshall and gary? how does cake feel about being treated like a pet for so long? how did fionna loose her other jobs? why couldnt we have focused more on fionnas depression? hell, even just simple stuff like what their favorite color is or what niche thing are they nerdy about?

im not trying to accuse the writers of being "sexist" or whatever even if i do think its a bit sad that fionna and cake kind of got side lined for simons arc. i know in adventure time marceline and bubblegum's relationship and just overall characters were an important part of the show. but i think the difference is that adventure time had enough seasons and specials to focus not only on finn and jake but many other characters as well, while fionna and cake only had 10 episodes.

personally, if i were to rewrite the series while still having most of the original story in tact, i would have a couple of more episodes focusing on fionnas regular life before being summoned by simon. id also give the series at least 15 or 20 episodes just so that theres enough time to focus on multiple characters. there would be more of a focus on fionnas feelings, maybe we could even delve more into fionnas romantic relationships because i feel like the ice prince part in her dream, as well as the winter king episode, was hinting that she might have a bad love life. i mean, knowing what i know about finns romantic relationships, it doesnt seem that out of character.

i still love fionna and cake tho, dont get me wrong. i just kind of felt a bit falsely advertised to and wished there was more focus on fionna and cakes arc. i might start watching adventure time just because i liked fnc, there are 2 shows i want to finish first tho. i dont need a second season of fnc or anything, i just wish there were maybe 1 or 2 additional episodes just to flesh things out. this is just my opinion.

[werewolf-femboy-maid]

I am so fucking miserable there is so much pressure and everyone wants my free time but nobody wants to understand me.

very hopeless and angry tired feeling, very very sad

I got told about how much time im wasting by moping, how much he just wishes he had my free time and im so lucky. he didn't say that literally but holy fuck now he keeps playing my cards that he tells ME to stop playing (self deprecation and making my problems worse by being angry and not breathing)

so angry honestly

I feel so empty

ive wasted so much time. im 25 now. im gonna be 30. ive wasted so much free time. the internet is a scam. all the social medias are a scam. life is a scam. everything in the world is a scam. love is a scam. even death is a scam. and it all keeps going because love and hatred keep pulsing in the extremes of matter, living and non living.

im just really angry and didn't eat protein yet and im just so sad and very sad and upset and I feel like an entitled Karen and I think I overlooked some pretty telling symptoms of ocd

im so lonely. im so so extremely lonely. I weep for the little child that wanted to have fun with friends and eat delicious food and be peaceful every day. I have positively failed her.

I mean I guess not completely. I follow my heart if it matters too much. shed still be disappointed tho. 25 and still no car? :"( nothing?

not much food these days either. everyone getting broke. I cant imagine other places too rn. it's all so heartbreaking. everywhere I turn, it's just sadness and decay and corruption. and then every now and then there's snuggles and plants and food. but that's about it. its just living with the guilt that so many live a much more horrid and difficult life and have suffered unspeakable deaths. and im here moping. what even caused this? he said something that hurt my fragile pathetic ego again? I don't even remember. I feel so lonely because communicating with people requires more effort than Im comfortable with, but that's the only way anyone will come close to understanding me. im just so constantly tired. for the past entire life honestly. been babysitting since 3 years old. im literally the only girl. the oldest as well. I was homeschooled.

my mental health is probably suffering these days because im in that weird rut where I still need to sign up for an associates degree, but I also need to make a logo, but I need to watch one piece since he slept in too much to drop me off at my place this morning. idk its a big huge fucking mess, and if its true that ive been living with Audhd the whole time, then it doesnt even comfort me anymore because my youth was wasted on ignorance. I will never be 14 again. if only she knew. she could've said something.

so yeah long story short, not having a consistent something to do, whether that is a job, hobby, entrepreneuring or literally just self care schedule, is detrimental to mental health because it's taking exercise away from the brain muscles.

what I mean is that its good to stretch the body, and I usually feel quite refreshed after some cardio or weight training. and the same applies to the brain.

something im trying to grasp more is the "growth mindset" because the opposite of that is a "fixed mindset"

Growth Mindset: People can learn things regardless of age.

Fixed Mindset: There's only so much people can learn, and once habits are fully developed, people cannot change.

so I kept telling myself how hopeless it is, oh I wasted so much time, and time is money. my life is basically useless, my youth is depleted and now I need to die. but no that is not the case here, unfortunately.

unfortunately there is hope, not really for the world, but for my particular situation at least.

physically I am very privileged. I have white-yellow skin and have both parents making income. I have a bf that cares about me (we just both have problems lmao) and I have two places that I live at: my parents and my bfs. its convenient but at the same time its a fucking nightmare I need to reside at only one place and have my room n shit.

but yeah mentally I was isolated and yelled at for most of my life and I never got to play video games because I was a pushover and I also daydreamed too much so I got my homework done a lot slower than my siblings.

mix that with some undiagnosed adhd, autism, and even possibly ocd, and you get infinite sadness.

idk the "infinite sadness" is a phrase that comes into my head randomly lmao

hey I had this sad dream last night where I was walking with someone and they pointed to my bf sitting in some spot and they said "men like him who love people like you are going to live a sad life" and I just felt really bad because he has to deal with my tantrums (red40 is so bad holy shit, it was a lot worse than I thought)

anyway, the least I can say is that its never actually too late. you can be old af and having every kind of cancer ever, but if you find something you like, its never too late to enjoy it. do whatever the fuck you want man. don't listen to those random rules your head makes up that don't make any sense. make your own sense. and then make dollars.. $$$$$$$$$$$

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Ludwig II — Glanz und Ende eines Königs (1955) [Ludwig II — Lustre and End of a King]

Honestly, this might be my favorite so far. Which I guess isnt great because while Elisabeth does play a fairly large role, this is hardly what I would call a Sissi-film. If you're wondering why this film was even on my list, when I was looking for all the media I was going to watch, I started on wikipedia which listed this film and when I briefly skimmed the summary, I determined that it had enough Elisabeth in it to make the cut. There are a few other pieces of media like Der Engel mit der Posaune (1948) where I skimmed the summary and determined there wasnt enough of either her or Rudolf in it, its kinda arbitrary if Im being honest, but yeah. hope you enjoyed this little look behind the curtain.

Anyway, I liked this movie a lot and it didnt even have a One Big Issue like Mayerling (1936) did. I will admit, a big part of it is that it was just very refreshing seeing a movie about a different kind of mentally ill man (who also didnt have a lot going on in the romance department, thank god) after all these Rudolf-movies, but I promise that's not the only reason I like it so much

It's kind of hard to give a plot summary because this film is essentially just a series of vignettes from when Ludwig was 25 (?) up to his death, but despite having no real overarching 'plot' like Elisabeth von Österreich (1931), it doesnt suffer from any of the same issues, like the vignettes feeling disconnected and random, because it's actually a really good character study. But anyway, in lieu of writing a summary, Im just gonna describe my four favorite moments:

When Bavaria is set to go to war, his ministers want him to give a speech to his soldiers and he refuses by giving this sortof mock-speech where he's like "you're going to war where you will kill your brothers who are now your enemies and be killed by your enemies that were once your brothers. to those of you who will be killed, may your death be quick at least", its a lot longer than that and Im doing a bad job paraphrasing it but hes basically conveying that if he's forced to give a speech to the soldiers that he didnt want to send off to war in the first place, he'll say a bunch of shit that will crush their morale, so the ministers leave him alone. I think this scene does a good job showing the audience some of Ludwig's depth and that he's not just a romantic, and the way O. W. Fischer delivered that whole monologue was really great too

After getting engaged to Sophie, he takes her to see an opera but when they actually get there and sit down in their box, she sees that the opera house is completely empty save for the musicians. Ludwig set it up like this so he could show her the loneliness he feels all the time and the disconnect from other people and what she would have to endure if she married him, she finds it absolutely horrible and spoiler alert, but they break off the engagement and dont talk to each other for the rest of the film after this. I find this scene very interesting and I can just imagine how mortifying it would be to be completely alone in this giant opera building, but I feel like they couldve done a better job conveying what Ludwig and Sophie feel through the filmmaking

After the first major timeskip of the film, Elisabeth visits Ludwig (this is during that time period where she traveled around a lot and was difficult to get a hold of) and they just talk for a bit, I find it difficult to summarize because theyre not really talking about one specific thing that you can just name, but I think it gives her and their relationship a lot of depth, and its the scene that made me really like Ruth Leuwerik as Elisabeth, I wasnt sure if I would like her at the start and while she's not my favorite, I thought she was good

Ludwig is supposed to greet the crown prince of Prussia whos arriving in Bavaria but he refuses, then his younger brother Otto comes in to try and comvince him as well and he starts by telling him about what it felt like to be there as this new country "Germany" was founded, but he ends up having what appears to be a ptsd-flashback from the loud music being played outside and Ludwig tries to comfort him but he ends up collapsing. I cannot stop thinking about this scene, its so heart-wrenching and upsetting and O. W. Fischer and Klaus Kinski's performances are both absolutely phenomenal. And then Ludwig calls over a psychiatrist/doctor to check on him, but all of his ministers are bothering him trying to get him to greet the crown prince, and throughout all of this theres still this cheerful/triumphant music blaring outside, I think it does such a good conveying the disconnect between Ludwig as a person and his duties and what's being expected of him

Also, and this isnt just one scene the way the other things I mentioned are so I didnt want to put it in the list above, but theres this short plotline at the start of the film where Ludwig basically picks composer Richard Wagner out of poverty and showers him with a bunch of money because he admires him so much, and I just wanted to say that theres such a strong homoerotic tension between those two. Like, the scene where they meet in person for the first time is so unbelievably intense, its this long moment of silence that gets broken by Richard and then Ludwig tells him something so incredibly poetic and beautiful, I dont remember what exactly it was but it made my jaw drop a little, and then he kisses him on the cheek ?? and yes, men kissing each other on the cheek was normal at the time, Ludwig even kissed Franz Joseph earlier in the film, but I swear its different when he kisses Richard, its so intimate and full of love and the music swells and everything, I was not expecting that at all

I mean, to be fair, most of the scenes where he interacts positively with someone else are full of a kind of tension-filled love, but still

Anyway, Ive already talked about how great O. W. Fischer was as Ludwig, but I just really need to highlight it again; he was so charismatic towards the beginning, but I also think he did a wonderful job portraying Ludwig's nuances and him slowly unraveling over the course of the film. Also, he reminds me of the actor who played Freder in Metropolis (1927), especially for that beginning section where he doesnt have facial hair yet, they both have this babygirlishness that I really love in a man. Now, unfortunately I do think he loses that as the film goes on, but thats mainly because I dont like facial hair, Im sure plenty of you guys can still appreciate his babygirlishness during the later sections as well

Other than that, I thought the sets looked really beautiful and apparently they did film a lot of the scenes on-location which is really cool. However, I cant talk about the sets without talking about this one scene where Ludwig and Elisabeth talk in the mirror hall in Neuschwanstein because it looks so bad. I'm 99.9% sure they used an old-timey greenscreen-thing for it (I forgot the actual name but I think it was either whitescreen or lightscreen), presumably because actually filming in a big room full of mirrors without having the cameras show would have been really hard, but god. They also used it for an earlier scene where Ludwig and Elisabeth went horseriding together, and it looks comically bad as well

So yeah, this is a very good film, it makes me excited for the other Ludwig/Elisabeth film I have on my list, and it genuinely makes me want to seek out more films about Ludwig II (if there are any more lol) but Im kinda busy rn so that'll have to wait.

Now for the two small things I couldnt fit into the rest of the post:

I found the austrian dialects everyone had very charming, which technically applies to every austrian talkie Ive seen so far and not just this one, but Ive never mentioned it so I figured I might as well do it now

I couldnt help but notice a lot of the male character's wonderful silhouettes and I have but one thing to say: bring back slut waists for guys

[oetscop]

anyway uhhhh im struggling to focus bc my neck hurts like fuck so im gonna talk abt max and dizzy. and like elaborate on the whole "theyre the same person" thing

so max is my truesona right? his name (maxamillion) actually has a personal meaning to me. my whole life ive fought with identity and ive always had this sort of scattered sense of self. a lot of that comes from childhood neglect and housing instability growing up. every time i move or something bad happens i feel like i get splintered off into another jagged piece of myself, and as life goes on the older pieces get eroded away until i cant even remember who that person was.

i dont want it to sound like DID or something, because its not. its very different. these "other people" never exist at the same time as one another or anything like that. sometimes i can kinda call back how i was at those times in a nostalgic imitation sort of way, but like. its still me? i guess? i dont know.

maxxy is kinda based off the sort of shameless open bleeding wound of a person i was at one time. i was loud and wasnt embarrassed by it. i was open with what i enjoyed. i was clingy but oblivious and sometimes unrealistic.

dizzy is sort of like the more "rational" side of myself. he thinks hes smarter than max because he's been hurt more. hes more familiar with rejection sensitive dysphoria and has been through the same sort of really bad relationship and amicable breakup i went through, as well as the fallout that caused my entire friend group to splinter. hes apprehensive and distant and refuses to trust anyone to an unreasonable degree, hence the quotations.

hes perpetually trying to knock max down a peg or snuff him out. he reminds him how annoying he is when hes loud, he constantly tells him that expressing any emotion about a situation is manipulative. a lot of his character comes from the song hope by roar (among others) and specifically the line "if your hearts upon your sleeve, amputate the arm." hes very motivated by revenge.

really he comes from a well intentioned place, but hes also aware that hes being harmful. he thinks its for the best.

and in his defense max isnt a good person either, not entirely. hes terrified of losing people, but instead of growing distant to avoid pain like dizzy, he becomes incredibly clingy. constantly disarming himself and asking what he would have to do to keep someone around. he has no sense of self and is willing to just drop everything for someone. even if they hurt him. hes also insecure and somehow also full of himself.

but like, they are also literally the same person. the same dog, i guess. but they can interact physically with each other. dizzy looks exactly like max, just with mirrored fur patterns and is more desaturated in color. his hair is also like....greasier. and matted. max has really soft hair but dizzy spends most of his time in bed or just at home so he doesnt take care of himself. sometimes max can convince him to let him brush it. they have a very codependent relationship with eachother. well, okay that makes it sound romantic. its more like a symbiosis sort of thing. parasitic perhaps. theyll kill eachother together but theyll die if theyre apart.

it actually started with like..giving max an A/B/NLM sorta thing (since i do that a lot actually! give ocs traits from a specific media i like a lot. one of my other sonas shrinks when hes upset like cassie from dragon tales) but it sorta just became what it is now. idk why?? i still sometimes draw max with a flower on his head tho lol. its hard not to involve that when hes my truesona and care and paul r like........the focal points of my entire identity and sense of self rn lol. but theyre also nothing like max so i scrapped that.

idk this makes liek no sense lololol. theres far more "versions" that i might flesh out in the future? but for now its just the two of em. hooty hoo

[mildcicada]

Things get worse before they get better

[smoluglies]

Hello! I first wanna lyk your art is beautiful!

I wanna ask for some advice. I got into art recently in my life, but am hesitating posting online like on a public account or on tumblr. A lot of my art i plan on using for a comic series and, hopefully later in my life, for a show. I am also a dummy who doesnt have my signature on my art. Im afraid of the possibilities of people or companies stealing my art, is there any way i can avoid this from happening?

My art is extremely personal, with the love of my life being my muse and our relationship always being my inspiration. It would probably break me if my art was stolen.

I notice that you sell your art. Does this make it easier to make sure it isnt stolen? Have people or companies ever used your prints/art?

I am debating if i should do the same. But is it normal to sell prints of art i would eventually use for a comic and show, especially if it'd happen years from now?

Hi! I’m not sure if I’m the right person to give advice on this subject as I don’t have that much experience in selling art but I’ll try to give my perspective on this. However, please take my advice with a grain of salt and be sure to do some additional research on this matter :)

I think that there is nothing that can truly protect your art from being stolen, especially if you’re a popular artist. That being said, I don’t think this should stop you from posting your art and sharing it with the world, as I think the positives outweigh the negative aspects of sharing your art and being part of the art community. Some things I would do to help prevent your art from being stolen and sold by others is:

use a watermark on your image, or at least a signature - that way if people stumble upon your art they will know what to search for to find the artist (but this is something I keep forgetting to do as well so I don’t blame you for not doing it 😭)

post low res images or scans of your art - I think most social media platforms already downgrade the quality of your images, but it’s better to be safe than sorry - so instead of posting a high-resolution image on your blog/site add a lower-quality version - this doesn’t stop anyone from stealing your art but perhaps it lowers the risks because nobody would want to purchase pixelated prints, right?

Selling your art as prints or merch won’t guarantee that someone might steal it and also sell it, but I guess if someone likes your art and wants to purchase it your shop would be the first place they would go to.. if that makes sense 😅 especially if you add your name / username on your art piece cause then it would be easier for them to find your shop. And I think it’s okay to include your art in comics, zines or artbooks etc in the future, even if it’s in a few years from now. And, no, I have never come across anyone making a profit from my art without my permission.

Sharing your art online does come with risk but I think at the end of the day it’s a wonderful thing to do because you can connect with others through it - your art can resonate with someone or evoke certain emotions in them and I think that that’s fascinating and beautiful 🥰 but if sharing something deeply personal would make you anxious or vulnerable then you can treasure that piece of art and keep it private. Like you can do both, you know? You can post some art pieces and leave the rest hidden from the world and have them available only for you and your significant other <3 If you decide to post your art here on tumblr be sure to let me know so I can check it out! 💖

[marauder-exe]

Roommates- Sebastian Stan x Reader

Request: sebastian stan & reader are shooting a movie together in atlanta &his place gets flooded so they become roommates. at first he only sees her like a little sister since shes much younger than him (22) but then started seeing her differently while living together but doesnt realize it so he does nothing. then during the press tour and premiere for the movie fans noticed how he would look at her all the time &it got them trending in social media forcing him to finally admit his feelings to her 🙈

Word Count: 1.6k

Your eyes shot open as you heard the incessant loud knocking on your apartment door. You sleepily got up from your bed and headed towards the door. You groggily it wondering who the hell was knocking at 3 in the damn morning! To your surprise, it was Sebastian Stan. You and Sebastian had become fast friends a few months ago. You had been hired as the cool best friend in a new movie that was being made in Atlanta. Sebastian was the lead, so you would be spending a lot of time together, which you didn't mind. And soon you were close, closer to him than anyone else, and it was amazing. But why was he at your door at 3am? You were hoping it was some sappy declaration of love at 3am like you see in the movies, but you knew it wasn't, he only saw you as a sister. “Seb? What are you doing here? Come in come in” You rushed him in, turning on the lights. He had a lot of stuff in boxes with him. “Is everything alright?” He was cold and shivering. You sat him down on the sofa then you got up and went to the kitchen area, turning on the kettle. “Uh, one of my neighbours did something, not entirely sure what, but he ended up flooding the entire floor of apartments. So my apartment and a lot of my stuff got ruined, and I have nowhere to stay.” He explained. You returned to the sofa with two hot chocolates, Sebastian's favourite. “Of course you can stay here Seb, you can stay in my room” You sipped your hot chocolate and lay a hand on his arm. “I couldn't take your bed, ‘m already staying in your house, ill just take the couch” You gave him a look. “Seb” “(Y/N)” You sighed. “Fine, but I'm gonna get you lots of blankets alright” He nodded as you got up to go to the cupboard in the next room. Sebastian looked around your apartment. It was quaint, cute, full of life. You had many things hanging from the walls. Posters of some movies you've been in, certificates from childhood, even your graduation. You had graduated from a top drama school with a scholarship last year, coincidentally on the same day as your 21st birthday. It was a wild, drunken night. He smiled at the memory. Soon enough you returned with a heap of blankets in your arms. Sebastian immediately rushed over to help you with the big ball of blankets. He dropped them on the couch as you took a deep breath. You tiredly giggled and lay your head on his chest, sighing. “You sure you're alright? You did just lose your entire lively hood in water” You looked up at him. “Yeah ill be fine” He waved it off. “As long as Ive got my best girl ill be fine” He smiled down at you as you smiled back. “Come on, let's get to bed, you've had a long day” You said your goodbyes and went to bed. You stared up at the ceiling. Sebastian was living with you now. Damn. Eventually you drifted off into sleep.

You awoke a few hours later to the smell of fresh pancakes coming from your kitchen. Honestly, Sebastian was something else. You jumped out of bed, wearing shorts and a vest top, slipping on your socks. You walked into the kitchen, the smell getting stronger. You spotted Sebastian with a spatula in his hand near the oven. “Alright love, fancy a pancake?” He smiled nonchalantly. You rushed over to him and placed a huge kiss on his cheek. “Oh my gosh I love you!” You sat down at the table, chomping down on the pancake, as you heard him throw his head back in laughter. “Its the least I could do” You mumbled something inaudible because of the pancake in your mouth and he laughed again. “Slow down, (Y/N)” He said as he slipped into the seat next to you with his own pancakes, you just gave him a smile. “So, any news on your apartment?” You asked, gulping down your pancakes. He nodded his head, taking a bite of his pancake. “They called an hour ago, they said there's a lot of damage and they wont know anything until next week” You nodded along. “Well you're free to stay here as long as you need” He smiled at you. You went to put your dishes away, and for the first time all day Sebastian actually looked at you, and you were beautiful. You were laughing at something random, and he felt butterflies in his stomach. Actual butterflies. He swore that only happened in movies. He had only seen you in a sisterly way up until now, now he was seeing you differently.

“Seba! Come on!” You shouted towards your room. Sebastian came rushing out in his 3 piece suit. “Damnnnn, Sebby got game!” You both laughed. “Do I look okay?” You questioned, giving one last glance in the mirror. “Of course, you look beautiful” He gave you a kiss on the cheek “Now come on! We don't wanna be late for your first press tour!” Sebastian rushed you into the car before you set off. Sebastian had been living with you for the past 6 months, and tonight was the press tour for the new movie you guys were in. Your first press tour, and you where glad it was with Sebastian. You made small talk, talking about how excited you were for your first press tour while Seb stared at you in admiration. He was glad he was with his best friend at her first press tour. The car came to a holt outside the hall. You stared outside at the huge hall, a starstruck look on your face, Sebastian looked over to you, wonder struck, and laughed. He loved seeing that look on your face. The same face you made the first time on set. He opened the car door and jumped out, making his way around the car to open your door for you. He held out his hand and you took it. “Ever the gentleman, Seba” You cooed. “Only for you” he responded, dragging you into the venue. There was paparazzi everywhere, cameras flashing constantly. It was a dream. Sebastian grabbed your hand and you flushed, looking down. He flushed as well. “You ready Sebby?” “Ready (Y/N/N)?” You both nodded and pushed open the doors. You heard a chorus of questioning interviewers, and paparazzi shouting you over. ‘Here (Y/N)’ ‘look over here Sebastian’. You stared up at him with a gigantic smile, finding he was already looking at you, he had an arm wrapped protectively around your waist. “Im so happy” You whispered. “Me too, smile for the camera” A smile reached his eyes and he looked back toward the cameras.

You and Sebastian barged through the doors to your apartment, kicking your shoes off and collapsing on the couch. You both let out a deep sigh, exhausted from the press tour. “That was one hell of a day” You sighed. “Your telling me” He chuckled. “i don't know about you but im ready for the biggest sleep of my life” You nodded in agreement as he took of his tie. He lay on the couch with his arm around you, too tired to move. Thats how you both fell asleep, for the next 12 hours, in each others arms. Until you were rudely woken up at 11am by your phone buzzing, Sebastian stirring and opening his eyes. “’mmm you alright, love?” His sleepy voice was heaven. “Yeah, my phones blowing up though” You said with furrowed brows. “Dude you and Sebastian are trending on twitter!” You read out the message from your best friend. “Guess the press tour photos are released” He chuckled. “Lets see whats trending then” He sat up to look at your phone. You opened up twitter and number one on trending was ‘AviPressTour’ which was no surprise, but on number two trending was ‘SebastiansCrush’. You gave him a confused glance. “What?” He asked, and you let him see your phone as you clicked on the hashtag. Your screen became filled with heartbroken teenage girls, and pictures of Sebastian lovingly staring at you, with a hand around your waist. One was entitled ‘i want someone to look at me the way Sebastian looks at (Y/N), you smiled at it. Sebastian gulped as he looked at the screen. Man he hated twitter. The top news story, ‘Is Sebastian Stans new boo only 22?’ It made you feel intimidated and uncomfortable. You knew Seb wouldn't like you like that because of your age. “Wo- woah, thats- thats crazy-” Sebastian stuttered, face red. No? He couldnt like you like that. Hell Sebastian didn't even knew he liked you like that until 2 minutes ago. Suddenly, every time he looked at you he felt like he was going to burst if he didn't kiss you. “Sebastian?” You questioned tentatively, turning to face him. He gulped. “Yeah?” “You like me, don't you?” You asked quietly, as if it was a secret never to be told. He stared at you, the same way he did last night, still in the same tuxedo and dress, day old makeup on. You looked as beautiful as ever. Without even thinking, he grabbed you and kissed you, its like his body had a mind of its own. You moved against each other, fitting together like puzzle pieces. You broke apart breathing heavily. “Yeah” He breathed. You stared at him quizzically. “What?” “Yes I like you” He spoke quietly, not daring to pierce the thick air with his voice. So you kissed him, as passionate as he kissed you, and smiled. You both lay against the couch, limbs tangled into each other. Bliss.

[babysprouseisart]

Honestly more things are pointing to a permanent separation for SH. No indications of any reconciliation sadly. And it makes it even harder without the confirmation. I guess when they start to get papped with their new SOs will be the day that it is confirmed they are done. And I hope it is soon. This push and pull with them is exhausting

Good day, anon, and welcome to hell. Screams for help will not save you, alas, because when it comes to a topic in which I am 99, 9% sure, I have no equals. I'm sorry you probably got the wrong address, but it's too late. I am merciless and bloodthirsty with anyone who tries to contradict my faith, tries to correct my point of view and convince me of their own, although I did not give it a reason. Because it's my fucking blog where I for x-billionth time has already expressed my exact points and agreed with some people which think and proved the exact opposite to all that you are saying. So be prepared to be slowly but surely tortured by my long ass post.

 So, let's start with what I said about my blog: only good vibes here. I am not interested/concerned about other opposite/negative feedings. I just don't want to make a big deal about it. Here, in my blog, we support Lili Pauline Reinhart and Cole Mitchell Sprouse in any case as couple as well as individuals.

 This means that under no circumstances do we talk about them, their relationships, their projects, their family, or their decisions in a negative way. Yes, we may disagree with something they do, where they do it, and how they do it (what they post, what they like/don't like, write or repost, who they meet, with whom they decide to be, live and communicate with, what they archive/unarchive, and so on), but we do not have the right to judge them or decide how to act. We also can't control it and it's none of our business.

 I repent if I once made the appearance of a person condemning one of them or their family for their actions and possible causes of the separation, it was only my objective external disagreement, points and thoughts aloud, nothing more rude, involved and inappropriate. And I think with many of my words said earlier (or the words of those I follow and reblog their posts) about the behavior of family/friends of Lili, Cole, and so on, people with brains and common sense could agree. Remember this, or write it on your forehead, so that the next time you write to me, you will see these words.

 Moving on, taking into account all of the above, I would like to tell you that it probably won't be enough for one blog to explain to you point by point all my beliefs and points of view on this subject, to prove to you that every fucking word you say is illogical shit and the most real nonsense. It feels like you're an alien who fell from another planet and decided to crawl into our hole with your impressions of a newborn baby who doesn't understand much about the world and its creators. Although in this case, I'm more of the opinion that you are a little asshole, in which the vein of hatred is boiling and you like to come to this and some other blogs to tell us your agenda although we have no idea where you have such rash thoughts, perhaps you have an extra chromosome? Dude, treat your paranoia.

 Further, given that I don't have much time and desire to describe all my points of view point by point, which, unlike your random set of words, really makes sense for hundreds or even thousands of people who have the gray matter to be able to think, I will attach my long - standing post, indicating all the facts at that time proving the opposite to yours. Although, I will try to supplement everything else as much as I can.

 While, we all ( I hope) already realized and accepted that for many reasons, during this quarantine, Lili and Cole had some problems, were distant and ended up apart for a certain period of time, immediately after the end point of the explosion and informing us of all these public actions on social media (I hope you understand), then after a few weeks, they were already confidently moving towards resolution and recovery and that's why:

https://babysprousehart.tumblr.com/post/618026656780648448/hello-i-hope-this-doesnt-come-off-negatively

This was written long before, but still has many valid points and I just want to widen some of them.

Take a sit and follow me word by word.

I shall start my addition of evidence, based on all the guesses and great opinions of others, as well as hints from the Lili and Cole themselves. I would like to start with a significant event and the day when Lili posted a photo from the Antelope Valley on April 28th, well, or 27th, depending on where you are.

Perhaps we lose some missing pieces in this puzzle and forget about something that was done earlier, but I just want to start counting from this moment.

A few facts about this photo/photos:

1) It was posted exactly 3 years later from their famous photoshoot, when very, very, very many people, mostly in media, began to suspect that there is something between them in a romantic way. It was exactly in the same place, exactly with the same style, exactly in a similar image (waving curly hair, light flying dress, black and white effect) and even without a capture. The picture marked the anniversary and is very important for the two of them. An undeniable fact, beat me.

2) That photo was definitely taken by Cole. Why?

Here are a couple more facts in addition to the first:

They have the quality of captured on professional camera.

You can see, that Lili did not tag the photographer and said jokingly that the photo was taken by Milo, why would she lie, or hide that it was anyone else, because clearly she just hid that because it was Cole.

You may have noticed that Austin, when asked who took the photo, whether she took it and whether she is a good photographer, says no and her reaction with a grin and laugh is priceless. She also didn't tag nor the photographer, neither Lili in her photos from there.

You can watch the vlog in the Colleen blog and see there are very similar figures to Cole, Lili and Milo walking along the valley, because, duh, they were there.

You can view her post, where you can see Cole from the back (notice his dark clothing, the same as on one of his post in the profile, which he has already deleted, as well as his position from which the photo of Lili was supposedly taken and it is just in the same place).

You can observe his style of photography and how similar the theme is to the photos from 2017.

You can see the same poppy behind his ear in one of the past stories.

You may have noticed that the photo of Lili is processed with the same effect as several photos in Cole's profile, and I can tell you as an amateur photo editor that it is very identical.

Question: why arrange such a significant photoshoot with your ex after a few weeks of separation? Why is Cole smiling in a photo (black and white one with a mustache and black clothes) probably taken there? Why is everything so secretive if they broke up? Why even post a photo that your ex-boyfriend definitely took? How can you calmly go to this place, which reminds you of your joint travels with your former lover? Therefore, this photo and later another one from there were the first iron arguments in confirming the improvement of things.

 I would like to continue with another ironclad proof.

Lili in early may very fiercely, after a few weeks of Cole's statements about slander and threats, which she did not respond to so clearly at the time, defended Cole and pointed out the private relationship and literally said that people should stop it and even though should hurt and bully her, but not him.

Question: did she defend her ex so publicly? Would Lili talk about a private relationship if that was the way her past relationship was most often? Would she have written anything at all if she didn't care about him and didn't feel something towards him? I don't think so, so it's gibberish to say so (about the break up) when it's the second unquestionable argument.

 Next, we need to talk about the general activity of Cole and Lili in social media. I just want to list some observations, in different order, but it seems like everything we have now:

If earlier it was visible in the posts of Lili that it was clearly a show off, then over time and after the published photos, she began to behave more sincerely and tenderly, began to publish Milo less, began to say that there was only the two of them less, has stopped showing how good she is without certain someone, as if for Cole showing that she could cope without him, which was visible in the posts and stories, she began to talk more about improving her mental health as a result of training, spoke about how later she was feeling better and that she was grateful for those who were with her and difficult times and in light moments, that you just need to live and enjoy.

Additionally, I can say how she shone with each photo, and it was a natural glow of happiness and settling down. She no longer sang sad songs or posted sad songs, on the contrary, posted sexy, funny and relaxed ones. She appeared more in photos taken by paparazzi. She posted sexy, energetic, romantic movies, funny cartoons, watched funny clips, was excited about her project, laughed, danced with her dog, played with a dog with macaroni, cosplayed Willy Wonka (we all have a feeling it’s Cole’s thing, no?), playing with sand, puzzles, posted funny memes in story, which unfortunately coolly accepted as the opposite, posted a poem with a typo and funny answered to a fan who corrected it, told more about poems and attached a photo with a fragment of a poem about love from her upcoming book. She liked some photos from the anniversary of the last episode of the series, where we remember there was a hot scene of her and Cole's character, she liked a Bughead drawing. Yesterday, she actually posted one of the sexiest videos that will not be posted, being single and lonely, we saw that she actually spent more personal time with Cole (I am not saying they weren’t doing t back then), which was investigated thanks to many amazing people here, and even if they don't live together yet, they are more likely to meet and have met with each other, and more hints on sexy times (because, come one, maybe Milo was the one who left a hickey on her neck, huh?), which is undeniable, just compare the fact that she is no longer in the old rental, and he is not in Kj's house, she then posted a photo from some place, which is very similar to where Cole shot a video with Jimmy Fallon.

 He also began to be more active in social networks, exactly after she started posting photos of the Antelope Valley, he posted a series of photos of the kissing couple, even if it was a gay drawings, they were filled with love, there was a photo of him with cattle with the sarcastic caption, then the photo about porn bots, with funny ask to leave him alone and saying it’s not allowed to be horny on quarantine, again a photo of himself with heart eyes that I talked about above, he posted a very funny video recently. There were more photos from the paparazzi after some time when Lili's usually flashed, and then it stopped, then his humorous photo in the washing machine appeared, which she probably had taken, and why so I explained in the attached post, he posted a photo from the walk, which was also probably taken with her, because again, she had a similar location, then he jokingly called Tommy ‘the’ muse, maybe roasting fans, but he didn’t use ‘my’, so, indicating he still has his own muse, then we saw him at that damn party, which caused people's panic, although he is an ordinary person and has the right to relax, and by the way at this party he was very happy and frisky, but nothing bad or shameful happened and he is innocent, then we even saw Cole, after Lili, delete many of the photos, although he had also unarchived some of them several times, as she had, which means that he did not delete them completely, but just removed many of them, leaving the most tender photo after or before the kiss at the famous moment when Lili wanted a toast and eggs at 1 am, or many photos reflecting her body, which also marks not a bad phenomenon, but a simple trolling from them. Proof of this trolling and unarchiving is on the vastness of other blogs and on Twitter, thanks to that girl's video.

 The way their condition and activity on social networks have changed is very noticeable and is also third undeniable fact of denial of the break up. You can compare photos of Cole taken by Alex, where he is clearly very sad and depressed, because it was taken somewhere in the interval of their real breakup. And compare this with his smiling and playful state during the interview with Jimmy, where he also sparkled with happiness and fun, constantly smiling and seemed to be aroused about something (or someone). I think even a newcomer will notice a change in their mood and attitude. You will see the difference. And this does not happen when going through the break up after 4 years of deeply imbued with love relationships. Please understand, damn it.

 I have listed alas not everything that speaks so vividly about things going in the right positive direction and is evidence that everything is getting better again, there will be only more I assure you and you will kiss my ass, as Cole said.

 Execution cannot be pardoned.

 You have one attempt to put a comma and decide your fate, but I think you’ll  fail because you are a total sucker anyway.

 Bye!

[archer3-13]

Naruto anime and some general thoughts

well i kept up with the manga back when it was still ongoing, ill admit i never had much interest in pursuing the naruto anime. Partly because of how i tend to consume media, partly because the show was never able to convincingly drag me in. However, ive decided to parse the anime a little recently so i thought id put down some bullet point thoughts from about the first 10 episodes

- the first theme songs weird, i kinda like it as a song in of itself as its very... 80s rock i guess but at the same time it just feels out of place. its not a very iconic first foot as it were i guess, which is fine cause not every anime can have one, but it doesnt help with its sense of misplacement in general tone is all.

- which brings me to how the ost is, cause the ost and first op feel mismatched af. that said the osts pretty solid for the most part, just used haphazardly at times. rising fighting spirit might be the more iconic fighting naruto ost piece, but i honestly feel its kinda bland and bad situation works better at generating tension.

- narutos an annoying shit just as i remember. it certainly works early on where hes suppose to be an annoying shit to some degree or another. it helps that a lot of these early episodes are dedicated to showing how out of his depth naruto currently is, its just bittersweet is all considering how character wise he'll stall out at this point as his weaknesses get gradually eroded over time.

- sasukes a hyper competent mf for the most part, as much as a kid his age and experience can expected to be. hes definitely not broody and emo all things considered, stand offish certainly but the really weird thing is, is that its gone out of the way to emphasize that even as early as now that sasuke could give a rats ass about the attention and thus is stand offish because people wont leave him alone. its somewhat similar to the usual aloof rival behavior in shonen, but in this case it comes off as unusual because sasukes shown to be unusually compassionate in instances. sticking up for naruto in front of sakura when he had no obligation to and just after naruto acted like a little gremlin child and tied sasuke up in a supply closet, among other smaller moments.

- veering back on topic, sasukes easily the most competent of team 7 genin both in terms of strategic thinking and raw combat skill, to the point that it genuinely felt weird for naruto to be the one to come up with the shadow shuriken trick when that feels more like something sasuke would come up with. its a good sequence mind showing naruto and sasuke teaming up to take on a stronger foe in contrast to the bell test and something that probably should have been extended or given more time to breath in order to sell the idea that the two are forming a genuine bond if through adversity.

- moving to the fights themselves they... aren't good? at the moment atleast the pacing of the fights makes something like the kakashi zabuza battle feel slow paced and kids happy slaps in comparison to the demon brothers brief taijutsu and weapons fight which feels more actively dangerous. to compare it to one piece fights around the same time of their production, it lacks snap and impact in the fights so to speak.

- i forgot how fun kakashi actually is, since he spends a lot of the rest of the series as a bit of a wet blanket. hes the man of mysteries wrapped up in the roshi unconventional teacher model 'i taught you by not teaching you' kinda manner. that and his 'im not touching you' method of annoyance in his mannerisms helps contrast and make more impressive his strong insights and the moments in the zabuza fight where hes pissed at the possibility of people dying on his watch. it makes the rest of his series performance feel especially clownish as he increasingly defaults to an empty caricature spouting off state propaganda and generic i love naruto catchphrases... but as it stands by the wave arc hes an interesting and fun guy.

- id be more willing to be lenient to you sakura if you didnt leave such a bad taste in the mouth even now. is she more then a generic fangirl here? in the sense of being very intentionally written as an aggressive bully yes but thats not even the backhanded compliment im making it out to be. shes useless not in the sense of never doing anything in a fight, or being a bad character. Shes useless in the sense that she really does nothing for the actual dynamic of team 7 as a unit of characters. individually sure theres some interesting meat and aspects to them but as a unit team 7 feels more like a duo then a trio and sakuras the quite obvious weak link in it because she might as well not be there in the 'team 7' scenes.

- hunter nin seem to be implied as something every village has in some capacity as opposed to a kiri exclusive thing its more so treated as later on. theres also the implication that anbu look a lot more mundane then they do later on since zabuzas anbu flashbacks just have him in a regular flakjacket setup.

- narutos mixed and confused anger at haku both for taking a life and for showing team 7 up well they tried extra hard is very confused in what it wants to be, but also something i wished the series explored more in naruto. cause like, later on its more so dropped to just have naruto be jealous of other people who are better then him because hes a petty bitch, but here theres very much an air of naruto being uncomfortable even deeply afraid of killing and death, both times he freezes up in the first 10 episodes are when hes presented with the physical possibility of dying, and having the grapple and struggle with that concept given his chosen profession would have been a hell of a lot more interesting.

[tylerwritez]

Tuesday, june 22 2021

I've noticed I'm getting "the shiverys" or "the twitchy" a lot today. Like every time I FEEL something I take a moment to violently tic.... every time I think about certain things I tic.... good things, bad things, things from an hour ago and things from years ago. Tic, tic, tic.

Also, I have... some stuff to explain. Its really no big deal, but you know me: I'll freak out about it anyway. Basically I dissed my friend (rightfully so) around the time that we had just met cos they did something that threw me off.

He saw it in my phone... NOW. it's not RELEVANT anymore and I've since redacted that criticism...and now I gotta explain it to him anwyays. Oh well. I'm good at this stuff. I can get myself outta any situation. I dont even know why I'm talking like this tho... it's not a "Situation" it's just smthn I gotta explain rq.

Oh, today's song recommendation is Spirit Crusher by Death. I'm a huge Death fan...

Also! I gotta study... for my replacement exam. How stressful. Its about photosynthesis, but like, it's not simple. We went DEEP inside those fucking leaves.

One sec, lemme hook up my IV tube

Not an ACTUAL IV tube... just my headphones. But since I'm so #emo, it might as well be a fucking IV tube with the way that I cant live without it.

Its 3:08 and I'm walking home now. I was upset last night but me and Star have made up now lol... it was thAt easy. I'm so defective, making shit hard when it doesnt need to be.

It's so hot out damn. Idk. I had school today, so I had Bio class... I ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION for once. I had lunch with Star and her friend group, and I honestly kinda feel like they're MY friends now too, even just a little bit.

Actually, I used to rant about feeling lonely like all the time but now I have so many friends it's crazy they all keep inviting me places and it's like people WANT ME AROUND... idk. It makes me happy.

Today I gotta ask if tommroow after school I can go to Bee's house to watch Supernatural (famous homoerotic ghost show)

I should also add songs to Erin's spotify playlist for our picnic saturday which I still need permission to go to.

I gotta ask for Wednesday after school to watch Insidious with Jay  which is apparently really good

Also hes the friend that I gotta explain stuff to... the DrAmA... the ThEaTrE....

Update my dad said yes to hanging out with Bee but first I'm gonna miss school to fix my broken brackets on my braces

Also turns out the house I THOUGHT we were moving into has substantial damage from shifting so... we aRENT moving there.

In case you didn't know, shifting is when like the house that's been built literally SHIFTS like it moves around.

Anwyays Jay just texted me... I'm gonna change into shorts since it's hot, set up my study area,.... and respond to him.

The time is 3:22 p.m.

Wish me. Luck.

Luck is plentiful! As it so often is in my risky, risky life.

I play my cards right. It's a learnt skill.

But also there wasnt much to explain since it passed already and was tiny anywyas.

XD so I've made up with the whole goddamn world by now.

Its 6:31, we saw 1 house. Only one. Its kinda hot out but I'm gonna bike now since we just had supper. I finally finished my homework... I just have to finish one mixed media piece as my final project for art!

Friday is my replacement. On photosynthesis and cell resp. We know this. But what I didn't mention, or I dont THINK I did, is that if I finish my art project before then I have the second block FREE!!! Me, Star, and her friend

A are planning to leave for second block and maybe get mint chocolate chip ice cream!

Also I might eat her out XD

Anyways idk. I hope I can bike tonight to call Jay.

I keep accidentally using people's real names here then having to correct it... I dont know how much i care about MY identity being discovered... but to have my friends doxxed would suck.

Man I feel bad abt saying fuck star last night cos we made up....

Wait we r looking at another house? Idk I'm in the car still waiting to go home

Oh wait no now we r goin home

Its 6:39... I hope I still have time.

I went biking, called Jay. Went home. Idk, friendly conversation... we talked more tonight and I also talked to my other friend A. Jay is... I LOVE HIM?? SO MUCH??? I feel so happy. Talking to him thinking about him seeing his STUPID FUCKING FACE JESUS. his eyes alone... I could stare at his face all day probably. I want to kiss him... hOLD HIS HAND... omg... huG HIM!!! Eofjwpxjwie he's so sweet like I can't even... and I'm proabably not good enough for him like. Wtf. Hes easily a 10. And I dont rate things outta 10. How tf do I end up with HIM? Doing stuff, as friends. Like wHAT. I guess I got lucky XD. He says he loves my personality and I'm hot XD ofc I dont see it myself. But like. JESUS CHRIST he could proabably easily pull whOever. XD me?

Whatever though. As long as we r together and stuff. I LOVE HIM A LOT. he said he loved me. Every time he says that it makes me so overly happy.

Maybe I'm just sappy and stuff.... whatever. I think it would be nice to be hugged by him.

Yeah I'm cheesy.

I'm sorta tired now so maybe I'm not writing the best.

I just keep thinkinf about love. Love is a muscle of evil suggestion. But how evil can it really be? I am just a human being and that is all. Everything else is applied. I am just a human being with soemthing in my heart that pulls me all over the place. Love is this strange thing because I'm fucked up and to be able to love without that fucked up part of me, without the damage... is this complicated, hard thing to do and I can NEVER tell if I'm doing it right but I know I'm DOING IT. I know I FEEL LOVE. And soemtimes it's such an intense thing like when you go to surf on a wave at the beach with ur belly but u hit it wrong and it's so big and overwhelming it washes over you and PULLS you down to the bottom and smushes your face into the sand and YOU CANT BREATHE jesus Christ it's like that.

Or maybe I just want to experience love as it should be felt.

Obviously all of my problems surrounding this Damage could be easily fixed if I went to therapy but. there are reasons I can't.

I LOVE a lot. Too much for my own good. Enough to hurt me, get me into trouble, etc etc but also... enough to liberate me. I LOVE. I love Jay. So much. LIKE. MY BRAIN ORBITS AROUND HIM CONSTANTLY THINKING OF HIM AND PRAISING HIM AND MWUAH HE IS SO LOVELY I BOW BEFORE HIM...

I think as much as I love, a lot of the times I tend to focus even more on BEING loved.

If I am told I am loved, and shOwN I am loved... it is one of the most powerful things. Especially since I was literally emotionally neglected in childhood... yeah. I feel like I'm always trying to fill that hole.

Not EVERY feeling I have is for that reaosn but sometimes, if you tell me you love me, show me you love me, hug me,... I'll like start crying,,, that's the childhood emotional neglect kicking in. If you call me #smol and #cute and say I look young and fragile which happens more often than you'd think XD, I know I'm not supposed to like that shit, so I act like I dont....but I do. Which is PROBABLY ALSO THE CEN 🤪  like whatever lol

Anwyays I'm fucked up

You see how quickly things become complicated in my mind?

Convoluted? Is that the word?

Whatever. I OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS COS I OVERTHINK THEM BECAUSE I'm LITERALLY MENTALLY ILL IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. I'm not joking. I obviously have unresolved undiagnosed "issues"

I do Suspect things, though.

I can make a list

Maybe I shouldn't.

Maybe I will.

I shouldnt.

Whatever.

I used to hate when people brought up my self harm. I would actually panic. I still self harm but now? Now I'm fine with anyone  talking about it as long as it's not an adult who can get me into trouble/force me into therapy over it. Because really? I kinda like having it mentioned. It's kinda validating and it's like hey... people can see that I'm sick.

I dont do it so people talk to me about it though. Dont get me wrong. If I did, I'd go vertically on the arms, not for suicide but so it healed and people would ask XD.

My scars are actually VERY hidden... cos I never intended for ANYONE to see. But for those who DO see them,,,, it's nice soemtimes to have people express concern.

I dont wanna be PITIED or anything, but idk I just think to myself "wow, they're CONCERNED... about ME... they arent angry or mean... they didnt yell at me or threaten me... they respect my autonomy and privacy...

And they CARE ABOUT ME..." and it makes me cry.

That's also the CEN.

I dont know. I just like when people express genuine concern. Even if they see and then just ask if I'm okay. That's all it takes cos then I go wow.

Its validating and irs lovely because finally people care... FINALLY PEOPLE CARE. FINALLY I GET SOME EMPATHY OR SYMPATHY AND NO ANGER.

Even just having them brought up tells me its noticeable enough

My brain does this thing where it thinks nothing bad that's ever happened to me was Bad Enough for me to be upset about.

And I dont know... its nice sometimes to be told shit like "omg that looks so bad" or to see that people who do see my cuts are somewhat shocked or revolted... it's nice because I go... "hey, it was bad enough for them..."

Or to have people comment on them with concern. Just ANYTHINT WHERE PEOPLE NOTICE IT AND ARENT ASSHOLES ABOUT IT IS VALIDATING.

Because I'm not used to that...

Because CEN

I'm. The worst perosn on the fucking planet.

I should kill myself.

I suddenly actually feel so self hating I do want to kill myself... oh god.

I ruin everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. What have I done. Like. Why. Oh god.

I'm just remembering when Star said my kindness seemed like an act. And how I've been called out for seeming fake like 2 other times.

DO I SEEM FAKE???? I DONT EVER PUT ON ACTS OF KINDESS.... CONCIOUSLY? but the very idea that I could be perceived that way...

Should I like not try to be nice or some shit?

Jesus christ she hurts my feelings even now when it was a long time ago.

But I cant blame her. I can't blame anyone for how i feel except my parents because they left me with fucking. Heart nerve damage or some shit.

I'm tired and now I'm sad too. Goodnight guys.

[frankendykes-monster]

If you have the time, I remember you said Batman Brave and the Bold was better than the DCAU. Why do you think so exactly?

Warning for some rambling because I am sleepy.

Even though this is not how it is supposed to work, as I grow older, I progressively like less and less "adult" superhero media. I couldn't tell you when this process began, I just know I thought The Dark Knight Returns and Watchmen were hot shit when I was 16 and now I just have copies of them on my shelf out of obligation more than anything.

But more so I think my frame of reference with regards to superheroes is deftly inspired by Grant Morrison and David Mazucchelli's statements on the subject. Grant Morrison for just how much he can shamelessly embrace how endlessly fucking weird superheroes are and how that should be the default of the sub-genre. His quote "Adults...struggle desperately with fiction, demanding constantly that it conform to the rules of everyday life. Adults foolishly demand to know how Superman can fly...when the answer is obvious even to the smallest child: because it's not real." began to put the pieces in place for me. Mazucchelli's "once a depiction veers towards realism, each new detail releases a torrent of questions that exposes the absurdity at the heart of the genre. The more realistic superheroes become, the less believable they are. Its a delicate balance. But this mucb I know: superheroes are real when theyre drawn in ink." is the complementary statement. Seeing Batman be described as a "detective scientist ninja that dresses like Dracula and drives around in a rocket car" by Chris Sims is pretty much how I got to this moment now. Superheroes are completely and utterly ridiculous, you cant take them seriously in the way a lot of people do.

Superheroes functionally first dealt with the issue of realism after the Marvel boom of the 1960's. Stuff like the Fantastic Four being unable to stop Galactus no matter what they do or Spider-Man being put through the wringer permanently changed the game, and there's never been a definite answer to what direction these characters should go in the decades since then, so I typically regard the Silver Age over at DC to be the most "superhero-y" that superheroes have ever gotten (we'll get back to this).

What this all has to do with the DCAU specifically is that it goes too far for my tastes with regards to my personal tastes at this moment in time. It's gotten the critically acclaimed reputation it's gotten for taking itself seriously and yeah I'm no longer in the audience for it. I'm just not interested that much in superheroes in any capacity having to prove that "theyre not just for kids" because, first, superheroes are fictional characters for children, second, god I dont even fucking know anymore. This is more a problem with audiences in general and the cultural expectations of when you become an adult that you're no longer allowed to have fun so people can't take any of this shit seriously so in turn it forces itself to become serious. I remember someone explaining that the 1966 Batman series wasnt campy and silly, it just presented Batman in an honest way, and when people saw that Batman is by nature silly, they couldnt take Batman seriously, because a lot of people are just humorless and not much fun. Anyhow.

Yes I appreciate stories discussing the ethics of vigilantism and the addressing that innocent people would be caught in the crossfire, or when you get to Justice League Unlimited specifically with its 9/11 fallout stuff, but that's been the default for...a WHILE now. I'm very much sick of it. Seeing stuff like The Boys get super popular over on Amazon's streaming service or fuck it the plot of Avengers: Endgame being about how all these characters that children love and look up to fucked up and failed everyone is just rather depressing. This not even touching the fact that the most recent live-action incarnations of Batman and Superman are basically serial killers.

So while the DCAU doesnt usually ever go that far (except for Batman Beyond: Return of The Joker, which is so insanely fucking dark that its the story equivalent of a train just derailing after it accelerates to a virtually nonstop speed), its still a little much for me at this point in time. I dont rather like "superheroes existing in the real world", I like them existing in their own universe playing by their own rules. I'll get back to it and appreciate it more sometime in the future, just not the near future.

So anyhow, what does this have to do with The Brave and The Bold now? This show specifically aims to directly imitate and reify virtually every element of Silver Age comics, AND I LOVE IT. This is a show where you only see Batman unmasked/referred to as Bruce Wayne for ONE episode. It has no qualms about what it is, no conflict of identity, no growing pains trying to make itself relevant, it does what the fuck it pleases. Other than maybe Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse, it's the piece of popular media surrounding the sub-genre that is so comfortable in its own skin that it's just endless joy to watch.

There's also the fact that even though Batman is in the title, and is the star, he doesn't really hog the spotlight. The Brave and The Bold, even though its structure is based on a comic series from the 1970's, takes advantage of the fact that since Batman is (was, I guess) the only thing making DC any money, they might as well use him as the springboard to attach every obscure character from every corner of this entire universe. I mean, where else would I or anybody else growing up across 2009 - 2011 would have learned about Blue Beetle, Plastic Man, Red Tornado, Wildcat, Kamandi, Deadman, OMAC, the JSA, 'Mazing Man, the Creature Commandos, the Metal Men, the Doom Patrol, Hawk and Dove, Booster Gold, the Outsiders, etc. You can point to the DCAU getting around to deep cuts like the Seven Soldiers of Victory, but for me personally, my intense love for the entire DC universe can be traced back to this show specifically.

[isthisthingeven0n]

cartier bracelet : j.w

brief summary: being something with jeff, based loosely on the lyrics of cartier by bazzi 

there are hints of smut, but literally nothing. merely implied tbh. also I took inspo from an old piece, you might recognise it you might not but it doesn’t matter either way. hope you enjoy :)

* masterlist * 

The first time it happened was meant to be a fluke, a drunken accident. One I enjoyed a little bit too much as I woke up beside him, the sunlight lining his jaw as he mumbled nonsense in his sleep. That was going to be the first and only time it should’ve happened, but not everything works out that way.

A month later, the second time it happened. We were all having a pool party at Todd's, I skidded and cut my elbow. He was the first to offer as he walked me inside to the bathroom. I sat quietly, having not been in only his company since that night. 

He was sweet and caring as he cleaned my arm from the crimson that covered it. I closed my eyes, drowning out the pain. But then I felt his soft lips against mine and I couldn’t resist wanting more. 

It was a feeling I wasn’t sure how to put into words at the time, but now I’ve learnt. Desire. 

There was a sense of longing to be with him whenever we had the chance. I would sit, scrolling through our friend's social media whilst we lay in bed, sweat glistening off of his forehead as he smiled over at me awaiting round two. 

Neither of us was sure where it was going, but we weren’t eager to call it quits, especially when the fun was only just beginning. 

*

Walking into the living room I sat down next to Zane, resting my head on his shoulder as he brought me into a hug. “How you doin’ baby.” He asks as I yawn loudly. “We keeping you up?” A laugh escapes my lips as I shake my head, lifting my hand up to wipe my eyes. 

“Didn’t get much sleep last night.” I mutter before glancing over to Jeff who smiles to himself as he sits with his laptop on his lap, editing a video. 

David walks in with his camera before pausing at the sight of me. “Holy shit.” He mutters as he walks closer, his eyes widening with joy. “You got a Cartier bracelet? How?” Based on his tone he’s completely shocked by the concept. 

Glancing down I let out a dry laugh, completely forgetting it was on. “I have my ways.” I shrug it off, but knowing David there was no way I would get out of the conversation that easily.

“You have your ways to a spare five thousand dollars?” Zane sits upright now, letting me fall face first into the couch. 

Keeping my head hidden I give David a thumbs up, receiving a light laugh from the other side of the room. 

“Oh hold up.” Zane mutters as he takes a hold of my wrist, moving the bracelet. “This is a love bracelet. Whose got you all loved up, Y/n?” 

Under my breath, I silently swear before lifting myself back up to sit upright. I briefly glance over to Jeff who wears a nervous smile. “Ever heard of self-love?” I laugh lightly, throwing them off as David shrugs his shoulders, lowering his camera before sitting by Jeff. 

Returning to my conversation with Zane I glance over to Jeff, seeing him sneak glances to me as I place my hand over the bracelet, shame crossing over me as the bracelet touches my skin. 

*

Standing up I reach over, wrapping my silk robe around my body as I walk without saying another word straight to the bathroom. “Hey, are you alright?” He calls out from the bedroom, but keep quiet as I turn the shower on, feeling the steam already rising as it begs for me to embrace the warmth I’m craving. 

The sound of him calling my name once again makes me sigh. “I’m just having a shower.” I respond as I slip the robe off before climbing in. 

Closing my eyes I hum to myself under the warmth, running my fingers through my hair until the sound of footsteps snaps me out of it. 

“God, you look fucking beautiful.” He mutters as he stares at me with a big smile on his face. “I could stare at you all day, you looking like that with that bracelet.” Glancing down I cover the bracelet with my right hand before reaching down for the soap. “Why’d you do that?” 

I let out a small sigh. “Are you ashamed of us?” I ask quietly before opening my eyes, staring into his deep brown ones as he raises his eyebrows in confusion. 

A scoff escapes his lips as he steps into the shower, closing the space between us. “Why would I be ashamed of you baby? I thank the Lord every day that he made someone as perfect as you.” He rests his hand on my cheek, caressing it before moving closer, kissing me softly. “If this is about the other day,” He trails off, knowing exactly what I mean.

“I know we don’t exactly have a definition for this,” I motion between the two of us as he smiles. “but my neighbours think you’re my boyfriend, my family are wondering about the guy I’m spending so much time with.” 

“Your parents want to meet me?” He beams as I shake my head in disbelief. “No, no don’t do that.” He places his hand under my jaw, making me meet his eyes as water pours down my back and flattens his hair against his forehead. “I just haven’t felt like this in a long time.” 

“Neither have I, Jeff.” I mutter in response as I sigh. “But is this just us craving one another or wanting more?” 

Jeff shrugs his shoulders before smiling to himself. “I guess there’s only one way to find out for sure.” He mumbles before stepping out of the shower and standing still before his smile grows. “How do you make that Cartier bracelet look worthless on your priceless figure?” 

“You smooth talker.” I joke before closing my eyes as I rub soap over my body, hearing him on the phone in the bedroom. 

*

“So, what’re we filming exactly?” I ask David as I sit in the passenger seat, fiddling with the ends of my hair. 

He grits his teeth as his eyebrows rise and I lean back towards the door, waiting for him to admit the reason I’m here in his car. “I had Natalie order me something online.” He reaches down between my legs and I tense up before he lifts something up and I immediately start laughing. 

“Can I taste your pussy?” I ask David who laughs harder before showing the camera the drink. 

“I want you to ask all the guys to taste your pussy.” He passes me the drink and I shake my head in disbelief. 

“You’re unbelievable sometimes Dobrik.” I mutter under my breath before I swap seats with him, having a practice round on him before we begin the prank. “So, David.” I bite my lip as I focus on his eyes. “I want you to taste my pussy.” I lick my lips before glancing downwards. 

“Oh my god, perfect.” He claps as I smile brightly. “They won’t know what’s hit them.” 

*

I force myself to stop smiling as Josh walks back into the house and I compose myself for the next victim. 

“How is this so easy?” I mutter under my breath as I give the camera a thumbs up, not even hearing the car door open and see as Jeff slips in beside me. 

“What’s up? David said you had something to show me?” He asks as he licks his lips, eyeing mine evidently. 

I straighten up before placing my hand on his thigh. “Jeff, how would you feel about tasting my pussy?” Swallowing back my laugh Jeff is almost unphased by the request as he shuffles in his seat, ignoring the camera entirely. 

“Right here?” He asks as I glance down, seeing his hand creeping closer and closer up my leg. “You know I’ll do it, baby.” He growls under his breath as he leans over, kissing me greedily. 

Pushing him off of me I let out a small laugh. “You’re going to kill me.” I mutter as he stares at me in confusion. “It’s rolling.” 

His eyes widen before he leans forward, glancing up to the viewfinder whilst I quietly sit in the corner of the frame. “Welp.” He mutters. “David, hello. I guess you’re the first to find out so congrats.” He laughs lightly before looking over at me with a warm smile. “Meet my girlfriend, Y/n.” 

[36incheshigh]

haunting of bly manor on netflix review -

i tried not to put big spoilers in it. its about like.. a lady from america who becomes a live in nanny to two young siblings, in a big old mysterious? house in england.

overall - 8 /10 , maybe im just biased cause it had some of my fav parts of scary movies in it/personal fav parts of genres

[cons] -personally - i dont like when supposedly scary movies are about ppl dying sadly/theres characters who are actually nice who you actually get attached to and thenn, they suffer! (although technically i guesss that is what causes “haunting”, in its title. its like, im looking for a Scary which is secretly supposed to be found to be scary[-fun], not scary-Sad!. sad deaths/characters make me sad. like when cute kids in it are also sad and upset and they surely dont deserve it :p. bums me out. i guess i dont mind so much, if, -if youre gonna have to harm someone, that id rather theyre someone im not so attached to in the first place lols. id rather not feel sentimental whilee watching a movie thats also scary lols. too many feelings at once for me lols . also, i appreciate a movie tryingg to explain things well or make it interesting, but sometimes it cann get too complicated . thats where ya lose me. [thats kinda not that personal that can also be a critique in genderal.] its like if you keep it clear enough even if its simple, it could be a better story.

pros objectively - good characters, and gd chemistry between characters - they were all pretty distinct and interesting enough, had their own styles and mannerisms and personality. gd dialogue - relateable enough and realistic enough - heh ilke when the gardener tries to cheer the nanny up, that was like kind of a well thought out specific unique and still funny joke lols. or when the nanny uses her teacher-voice to say relateable things to the kids or to discipline them well and properly and fairly/justly and calmly - those were awesome and accurate like real life, very familiar in a specific, recognizable way. nicely done visually/cinematically - made everything look good, didnt make anything too confusing, clear enough. like it let us explore all the interesting places and no scenes were too dark to see whats going on or anything lols. which is good because sometimes a show takes place in what lookss like wouldd be an interesting setting, but we never really get to use the space much or see its details [well], or look at any of the cool parts about it, very well! plot was good - got stuck a couple times in a few ways, but atleast it did have good closure. thats hard to nail in spooky/scary stories. its also good that there was diversity representation in the characters’ races and kinds of romances so thats always important to diversify in the media so people arent ignorant and plus its less predictable and ^realistic.

cons objectively- really lost me in the episodes w hopping and flashbacks a lot, even though i guess it explained a few things. idk i think we couldve done without the entire dream bit cause it went over my head and i dont see thatt well how it fits with the rest of things very much anyway. i think it couldvee stuck with just the first owner’s story which seems to explain most of the mysteries anyway, and still be a great plot overall. also its not much of a big deal but in the end, that was supposed to be whats her name, the gardener but she wasnt even consistant in her style it was so out of character. like whats that hair style?? its too modern and boring/basic-betch , shes a chill, grounded, rough person so i think she shouldve kinda had a softer wavier hair style at least like she usually had . doesnt have to be the same, but atleast better match her character. i guess there were a few kind of minor plot pieces that i didnt hear/understand their explaination . but maybe if i thought about it more, or figure that those were just idk symbolic details or something lols, then id get it. -atleast the most important plot points have been explained. or if they kept the confusing plotline to help explain things, i wish they couldve made it a bit simpler to be more understandable . aint nobody tryina think that hard about it to understand things in a show ha . idk i think the wind up leading to the end , through the middle of the last episode when we werent sure if the girl was doomed yet or not [is that what it was that dragged on for me?] , dragged on a bit too somehow. or i wouldve been happy too if it ended like 10 minutes into the last episode when everything was at peace, even though thats too peaceful of an ending for a spooky story lols. also the bride in the beginning and ending who hears the story is a kind of bad actress or has awkward lines so it makes things corny lols. which its hard to not cross that line in spooky stories, from believeable and relateable and genuine enoughh to spook ya cause its barely believeable/relateable, - into corny.

pros personally- love big old gothic houses, theyve got character. love love stories, and mixing genres in a show or movie! like love, sad, and spooky. love it being more spooky and a thinker kinda rather than gory which could always be too easy of a scare. and lots of botony heh [in the romance] which i always love. in real life heh. i also dont really like body horror lols even though it couldve been worse here i guess. i know its supposed to be like, symbolic though :p. i like how - there wass a specific message/themes they were trying to be about in this show, but - idk, before we realizedd that, it was kind of amusing how the random suspicious jumpscares/problems that happen aree kinda like, making you/trickingg you to thinkk, that the story could justt be any of the clichee scary stories - but thenn its a pleasant surprise that even though you thought it was gonna be a cliche predictable plot, its actually much more elaborate in a good way lols. i also like “”gothic”“ and kinda spooky but not likeee verY scarY ha. cause gothic is likee, a lookk/mood!!

so yeah, i liked this in general, and would recommend it in general and might watch most of it again in halloween season lols. i like it because its sophisticated and relateable enough, graceful, cute enough - balanced so its not tooo much of anythingg and just enoughh of different things that would make any show enjoyable enoughh, i thinkk . good in all the ways it matters, in all the important ways. generally doesnt get campy in the parts of the show where that would matter lols. i liked it better than the other series apparently also by this director or whatever, “haunting of hill house”. i think “bly manor” was better in nearly  every way lols .