#i guess i thought one American psycho from this year was plenty!

[lyledebeast]

The year 2000 really gave us some Protagonists, huh?

Russell Crowe as Maximus in Gladiator

Mel Gibson as Benjamin Martin in The Patriot

Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman in American Psycho

[zerochanges]

My 2022 Media Binge Reviews

I find myself somewhat circling the drain during the year of 2022, I don’t want to say I was repeating the same year as 2021, but I also can’t exactly say I was doing much differently. I think both years were hard on me but in some different yet similar ways. I still work the same job I hate and my anxiety has still gotten the better of me in a lot of the same old ways, but also new exciting ways! The older I get the more it feels like essays like these always say “well blank year was a hard year” so I don’t want to say that anymore but it’s hard not to want to complain about a year’s worth of troubles all the same. 

Last year I was really able to overcome some grief in my personal life by finally taking the plunge and getting through Twin Peaks, a series that for years I wanted to finish but never got past the first season. It was incredible, and made a lasting profound impact on me. And this year honestly just saw me chasing that high in a lot of ways. I think the general theme of a lot of media I consumed was “Twin Peaks-like”. Sadly nothing seems like it will ever scratch that itch for me. I guess that just goes to show how unique and incredible Twin Peaks was—but at the very least I think some of the most fun I had this year was chasing that high all the same. 

American Psycho

This year finally saw me getting around to watching American Psycho in its entirety. Now I've seen it plenty of times on TV in bits and pieces. I’ve caught parts of it, and generally knew the whole gist of the movie, but honestly I don’t think I ever watched it from start to finish before. The internet is obsessed with this movie, the memes alone it spawned are everywhere, which honestly kind of finally got me to get around to it. 

It’s easy to see why the internet would become so enamored with a movie like this, Christian Bale gives such an incredible performance as the lead, putting so much energy and life into Patrick Bateman that almost every frame of the movie he is in feels like it should be hung up in some meme museum. I’m old enough to still remember when he was cast as Batman in the Nolan trilogy and the consensus was “how the heck can the murderer from American Psycho be one of the best superheroes ever?” It’s funny to me to see the argument flipped to “wow I can’t believe Batman was such a good murderer in this movie.”

But beyond the incredible cathartic violence, and over-the-top performances there is definitely a very scathing view of the American lifestyle and capitalist hellscape we are all trapped in nowadays that much like I mentioned in my anime list with Kaiji seems far more relevant today than ever before. 

Dune x3

This year for me was the year of the Dune. With the new movie coming out near the end of 2021 I finally got around to grabbing it on blu-ray, and while I was at it I just couldn’t resist grabbing everything else too. I got Dune opinions, and they are about as crazy as you would expect from a hipster like me. So let’s talk about the three Dunes.

Jodorowsky's Dune, this 2013 documentary is all about the failed Dune movie that never was by visionary and art film auteur Alejandro Jodorowsky. Jodorowsky may not be a household name so just to get a little preamble out of the way, the man has made some of the damn craziest films around—and his breakout 1970 ‘acid westerner’ El Topo is considered by many film historians to be one of the first Midnight Movies, starting a much believed trend for cinephiles the world over. 

Towards the end of 1974 the man attempted what was at the time thought impossible by adapting Dune into a movie and he developed a variable dream team of auteurs and creative talent to do it, which he called his ‘warriors’; many of said warriors would go on to become absolute legends of the industry while many were already legends. Jodorowsky’s Dune was the very first film that ever saw acclaimed legend H. R. Giger worked on a film for example, and beloved French artist Moebius did a ton of art designs for the project. It was truly a melting pot, almost like a mini ‘scene’ of its own that brought together an unbelievable amount of extremely talented people. It’s honestly not a stretch to say that without Jodorowsky’s failed attempt at Dune that there would be no Alien, there’d be no Star Wars, there’d be no science fiction as we know it today in American cinema. 

Jodorowsky’s vision really only ever saw the original novel as a jumping off point of inspiration, the man himself never even reading the book. What he sought to create was both incredibly dense science fiction and incredibly philosophical spiritualism. The end of his proposed Dune movie honestly gives me chills, and hell if I don’t want to steal that idea for myself. 

It’s hard to say what the finished project would have been like, Jodorowsky’s own ambitions and artistic vision is what killed the project, trying to turn it into a 10 hour epic of a movie! I often wonder why they just couldn’t make it into an animated series when that failed. I mean they had Moebius right there! But perhaps it was for the best. The failure of the movie saw incredible talent shift to the four corners of the wind and go on to create incredible work of their own in cinema. When it comes to lost or unmade media there’s a mysticism about it; “if only we could have experienced it”, and I think that’s half of what makes it so good. If it was real, who knows how good it might have been, in a way I am glad I got to be fascinated by this best movie never made.

Now let’s get to my hot take and just say it, David Lynch’s 1984 Dune is so much better than Denis Villeneuve’s 2021 Dune. There I said it! 

Okay, please give me a minute to explain. Denis Villeneuve’s Dune is by far a much better made movie that has a better reverence for the source material and overall makes for a grander and more easily digestible sci-fi film that finally accomplices the dream started in 1974 by Jodorowsky to create something great out of Dune. It’s just that it’s just another good movie. Honestly a lot of good movies already exist. So yes I think for the normal person this is the one, watch this Dune and enjoy, but for hipster’s David Lynch’s Dune is where it is at!

Lynch himself hates the movie, it crushed his spirit and the man calls it the biggest sell out of his career. Yet I think it somehow is something special. The film is easily gorgeous and out-there levels of weird which I think is important for Dune, and is something Villeneuve’s film lacks in a lot of ways. The fight scenes are satisfying and action packed in Villeneuve’s film, making for a great Hollywood movie experience … but is that Dune? Honestly I think I like Lynch's extremely awkward and poorly executed bumbling drunk sad sack fights more. Those honestly feel way more like Dune. People flying around and spin kicking hundreds of dudes in the face is great, but I’ll take two dudes awkwardly dancing around each other while big blocky Minecraft shields glow over their bodies. Now this is my Dune, baby. 

There’s something surreal in both the execution and visuals in Lynch’s take on the material that simply vibes with me more. Had the movie been cut properly by Lynch and not butchered by executives to sell the maximum amount of tickets, had it got the chance to be the longer length or two movies that Lynch wanted, I think it would be a much more beloved cult sci-fi film today. 

In conclusion, I think Dune is an awesome story and great material to really get weird with, and honestly it’s pretty cool that there’s a lot of out-there interpretations to be enjoyed today. 

One Piece

2022 saw me return to One Piece once again and picking up right where I left off after binging through Thriller Bark to Punkhazard in 2021. While I didn’t watch nearly as much as last year it almost feels like I did, as I was able to finish both Dressrosa and Zou before the year’s end. Now Dressrosa is such a dense and huge story arc that took up many months of my year. This arc being a whopping 118 episodes long is honestly just flat out ridiculous, this one story arc is longer than most anime! For those who might need a reminder, the entirety of Yu Yu Hakusho is 112 episodes long, Dressrossa is 118 and in-story the vast majority of it all takes place over a single day! 

This is by and large the most ambitious writing Oda has ever attempted by this point in One Piece and it pays off in dividends as so much truly happens and the entire series as a whole really starts to show a lot of its hand. This is what the entire post time-skip One Piece since Fishman Island has really been leading into. Luffy’s little journey from a boy with a dream is truly maturing into a fearless and brave leader able to sway incredibly powerful cohorts to stand up alongside him against an all powerful and corrupt uncaring world government that is far more preoccupied with keeping its status quo and image than the lives of those they govern. Oda is able to create a venerable army for which Luffy to one day lead on his quest to become King of the Pirates, so many interesting and just plain fun characters are able to stand up not just as new game pieces on the board to lose to show how strong the enemy is but as honest to god equals to our protagonists and are able to hold their own against the villains alongside Luffy and his crew. 

We learn more about the world and see Luffy take on easily his biggest fight yet against DoFlamingo, a character that has easily been hyped up for what, like 500 or something episodes? And just wow, what a villain, DoFlamingo is easily one of the most interesting and compelling characters in the series and just a straight up horrifying monster of a human being, if you can even call him that. Which is great because Luffy has another trick up his sleeve, Fourth Gear. I had seen it before online, being an anime fan means it’s impossible not to get One Piece spoilers but I don’t think I ever appreciated Fourth Gear until now that I’ve seen it in action. This new form is just incredible and so well made. It shows so much creativity from Oda and I love how BIG it is! Anime protagonists nowadays just keep getting hotter when they power up, even the new Dragon Ball series see Goku becoming increasingly prettier, I really missed this. Luffy gets thicc in Fourth Gear, this is what I want, go all out, just have fun being a cartoon again, let dudes have muscles on top of muscles–and no neck while you’re at it. Give these boys just ridiculous proportions, let’s make even Liefeld shiver. Bring back the beefcake.  

Luffy didn’t have all the fun either, I think Franky had one of the best fights in the whole series when he went up against Senior Pink, a bare knuckles, no hold barred, man to man slug fest that easily goes on for something like 30 episodes straight of just two manly son of bitches beating the ever loving fuck out of each other. Zoro fighting Picca sees our greatest swordsman to be taking on perhaps one of the most insane action set pieces One Piece ever had. And then there’s great moments with the new characters like Bartolomeo and Cavendish and oh yeah, did I mention Luffy’s thought to be dead brother Sabo shows up and utterly steals the show for a good portion of the arc? The appearance of Sabo in the story utterly wrecked me. I cried when Luffy was able to see him again, it was such a beautiful reunion.

Dressrosa is truly an epic as far as anime storytelling goes but Zou also somehow delivers so much too and in general that later half of Dressrosa and almost all of Zou really proves that One Piece is able to carry so much forward momentum and still be able to go places even 700 episodes in. The plot has never been more interesting, the goal has never felt more obtainable, and the fun is still there. Right now I am about a quarter of the way through Whole Cake Island and trying to finish it too before my Funimation subscription runs out. I have a month to go but I think I can make it. Wish me luck/

Orpheus (1950)

In my quest to relive the emotions Twin Peaks gave me I watched Jean Cocteau’s 1950 French film Orpheus. Now the film is a (then contemporary) modern reinterpretation of the Greek myth of Orpheus and Eurydice in modern day Paris. I’ll be real with you guys, I knew jack shit about Orpheus when I watched this, to me Orpheus was just “the master of strings” in Persona 3 so even now I can’t tell you if they did a great job transposing the story to modern day, but I can say what Jean Cocteau accomplishes in this film is nothing short of stunning. The surreal atmosphere and cinematography is easily breathtaking while the plot balances both being playful and light while also dealing with dense topics like love and suicide. 

It’s easy to see why Jean Cocteau is a legendary film creator and why David Lynch considers this film such an inspiration to him. A lot of visuals very much so look like prototypes of what he would later go on to do in Twin Peaks specifically, even down to the iconic Black Lodge. But this isn’t just some Twin Peaks prototype, it’s definitely a damn fine masterclass piece of cinema, definitely worth a watch for its own merits. I would say the shot of the film that stayed with me truly throughout all year was when Orpheus and Heurtebise walk through the world of death, it is something I think about often.

Planet of the Apes (1968)

I’ve seen the original Planet of the Apes when I was a lot younger, and pretty much that was about it. Growing up the movie was parodied and paid homage to in everything from other movies and TV shows to the cartoons I saw as a kid. It’s easy to think of all those parodies and see the remake and the modern reimagined trilogy and think the original is just plain bad but no! It holds up insanely well. I was surprised to see just how good it still is. This is such an iconic science fiction classic and so much has to do with how sharp the writing is, the incredible acting of Charleston Heston, and yes, that legendary twist ending. I implore you, rewatch the first Apes film, you won’t regret it.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2

I thought the first Sonic the Hedgehog movie in 2020 was a cute well made kid’s movie with just enough material for adults to enjoy thanks to Jim Carrey’s performance as Eggman elevating the material. But the sequel oh boy, this is legit the best video game movie I ever seen. This film captures the spirit and tone of the Sonic franchise perfectly. It’s a love letter to the entirety of Sonic the Hedgehog and just a damn fun action adventure. All the characters feel much better utilized and written, with even the human sidekicks like James Marsden’s character having a lot more to do and better material to work with. I had never seen so much reverence for classic Sega video games on the screen before outside of other video games than this movie, and it truly felt like my childhood was coming to life in ways I never imagined before. 

Sonny Boy

This year saw me finally getting around to watching Shingo Natsume’s original 2021 anime Sonny Boy. This was a critical darling of the Fall 2021 anime season when it aired but having been burned on so many “deep” anime that weren’t I was weary of it during that time—and not to mention busy and never got around to it. I heard so much praise for almost a solid year though and it seemed utterly visually and narratively interesting so I finally cracked and watched it. Glad I did, it was a rare example of something living up to its praise. 

Actually I got to be straight with you, here’s another piece of media that I honestly only watched because I desperately was begging to feel what I felt when I watched Twin Peaks last year. Sonny Boy is nowhere near that though but somehow is. It’s completely different but delivers a similarly dense and visually fascinating world. The music being done entirely by indie groups gives the entire atmosphere of the show a homemade feeling to it—the emotional core is often tinged with this sense of raw emotions that feel free from the corporate mainstream often overly produced music in most anime. Together with insanely complex visuals and free moving animation that isn’t stiff or obsessed with staying on model and we got something that just stimulates all the right sectors of my brain. And damn if I can’t stop listening to the tracks even now. 

I guess what I want to say is I came for the Twin Peaks comparisons, I stayed for the depression and how beautifully the show paints the futility of life and what death means in a meaningless world. Watch Sonny Boy, while praised during its airing the show almost seems totally forgotten about. You’ll probably have a good cry while doing so, but it will make you feel truly alive.

Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2

Okay, this is another example of me knowing all about this movie because of the internet. There are so many clips and memes about this movie that I have obtained endless enjoyment out of but I never actually watched the movie properly. This year I decided it was finally time and on Christmas Eve, I watched the legend, and my God: Best. Christmas. Movie. Ever. I think I found a new Christmas tradition that I am going to do every year. This movie is downright hilarious, the memes don’t even do it justice, you have to experience the whole thing in context, it’s even somehow funnier that way. In all the best ways. 

Eric Freeman’s acting is legit something I wish I could emulate. I want a whole movie or video game of just people going as hard as Eric Freeman in full earnest and not trying to ham it up. His screen presence is so funny, so magnanimous, so scene stealing, I can’t even breathe every time the camera focuses on him, I am utterly out of breath laughing every millisecond, on the floor gasping for air on the verge of death, but I can’t stop laughing. I just can’t help but love the movie even more as every minute passes. 

And the story behind how the movie was made is even fascinating. If you get the blu-ray like I had to of course go out and find a way to buy it after watching it, there’s a great documentary on how the whole thing came to be. What started as a way to just re-edit the movie Silent Night Deadly Night so they could release it again and make more money turned into a passion project by the editor now turned director Lee Harry which is why he’s credited as both the director and editor of the movie. Harry took the old footage from the movie, turned it into flashbacks and made it into a sequel by shooting new footage. They honestly took a legit and serious slasher movie and turned it into the best comedy ever made. As far as I am concerned you don’t even need to watch the original Silent Night Deadly Night, just see all of it in Part 2’s flashbacks and bask in Eric Freeman’s life changing performance. 

Stalker (1979)

Andrei Tarkovsky probably needs no introduction for film buffs but let’s just say for the uninitiated much like what I said about Alejandro Jodorowsky above this Soviet filmmaker is another auteur artist that is beloved in the world of cinema and leave it at that now because this list is already much too long as it is. Stalker is the first film of his I watched and one I wanted to see for many, many years—and one I only finally saw now because of my damn insistent pursuit of relieving the emotions Twin Peaks gave me. 

Stalker a 1979 Soviet made science fiction film based on a 1971 novel Roadside Picnic which depicts a guide or Stalker taking two individuals through an incredibly dangerous location that is closed off to the public where extraterrestrials had once landed one night and left the next known as the Zone. The story fascinates me on so many levels because of my love of sci-fi, this thought that strange alien life interacted with a place on earth and left it so tangled up, so hard to navigate that common sense need not apply, that you have to go up to go down, you have to walk backwards to get forward, that at any moment some terrible curse could afflict you, that something you did upset the order of this strange land, that expert guides exist in this shady black market underground to take people on tours through it, and many traverse this illegal Zone because of the rumors of a room within it that can grant any wish your heart desires. How can I not want to see it? This is my kind of sci-fi. What I got … was something much different.

I was expecting this sci-fi epic, instead it’s very much almost not present. It’s more about the passage of time, what it means to be alive, the place of religion in the world, the meaning of living in a meaningless world, if there is any magic left to be had in a world where we understand so much thanks to science. The Stalker and the outlawed area of the Zone almost seems like reverence for magic that used to exist, an old world point of view that can still look to the stars and see Gods instead of just clusters of hot space gas. Stalkers with their silly rules; their going backwards to go forward seem like nothing more than that silliness, something modern people don’t need to do anymore. The Stalker in the film is often undermined by his two clients who constantly push their luck and break tons of rules he tells them not to. At its core it seems like a struggle between wanting to believe there’s something special in this life, and being a skeptic. 

I wanted a sci-fi epic instead I got an artsy fartsy film that drinks way too much depresso espresso. Yet the magic of Tarkovsky’s film stays in my mind. The emotions I felt, the long shots that border on almost trolling you with boredom, they stay in your very soul. I still see the beauty of the undisturbed Zone when I close my eyes, the clearness of that water, and the magic of the bird disappearing into the dunes. The ending speech about time and what it means to all of us living from the Stalker’s wife, I hear it play back in my mind from time to time. 

This isn’t really great sci-fi, I wanted to hammer that home to anyone listening, so your expectations aren’t all wrong like mine. But this is an incredible film that uses some very light sci-fi window dressing to convey incredibly complex emotions behind living in modernity. I recommend it a lot to anyone who can handle that fact. 

El Topo, Holy Mountain, and Santa Sangre—or how I fell in love with that weird Chilean Movie Guy

Let’s get back to Alejandro Jodorowsky as he was a big figure in my 2022 media. It started with the documentary about his attempt at making a Dune movie in the 70’s but after that I had to know more about the man. This visionary auteur who took Dune and made this insanely almost religious spiritual epic in space, now this dude sounds incredible. Also holy crap it turns out David Lynch was a fan of his work too and you can easily find a lot of his work being repeated in Twin Peaks. Uh-oh, you know what that means, right? Yup, let’s keep this pursuit up, boys. 

We’re starting with the 1970 ‘acid western’ El Topo, since I still have yet to see his first film 1968’s Fando y Lis (although I do have it, I just have yet to work up the courage to play it thanks to its infamy). El Topo is easily what truly started his career on the world wide scene and not just in Mexico where he started out, it was a movie that would become insanely influential to many creative talents from the Beetles to Suda51; in fact No More Heroes is almost a complete remake/reimagining of it but anime. 

This western is no simple cowboy movie, it’s spiritual and just all out bonkers. It almost feels like two movies stitched together too. The first half sees El Topo, or “The Mole”, as this badass gunslinger taking down the four greatest gunslingers in the desert who are almost guru-like, in order to claim the title of the best gunslinger and spiritual enlightenment all so he can lay with some bodacious babe. He however fails at this and dies, only to be resurrected as some religious savior to a village of deformed people that live underground, and as a new man he tries to rescue the village and lead them to prosperity. 

This film is weird, and like yeah, bonkers. The two halves are almost completely different movies yet somehow they work really well together. I think the first half is easily the part most people really will enjoy while the second can easily lose you. All that said though this is the film that easily got me excited for more from Jodorowsky.

1973’s The Holy Mountain seemed like a slam dunk, the movie about an alchemist training a thief that broke into his Tower to be his protégé then taking on seven wisemen with him to ascend a legendary mountain to find the secret of immortality is the insane kind of bullshit I want in my veins. It’s a … that is to say it’s … the thing about The Holy Mountain is … well I hope you like drugs. So yeah, hard to believe but El Topo, the acid western, was made sober, while Jodorowsky decided to really, how do you say, “expand his mind” , on his next film and it shows because I think you need to be on drugs to fully enjoy this one.

The film has an incredible beginning and an absolutely incredible ending with an insanely good and thought provoking twist at the very end but the middle is very meandering. The scene where the Alchemist introduces his seven wisemen just goes on for like ever. They pretty much stop the plot for a solid 50 minutes just to show vignettes about each of these characters and they are all very good, and interesting, and some insanely funny, but like bruh, the movie is just dead in its tracks for at least half its runtime to introduce characters that essentially just stand in the background after their introduction and that’s it. 

As I said the ending is truly something special and that I cannot elaborate on because if it’s spoiled for you I can confirm it kind of ruins the whole movie. Yeah I knew the ending spoiler before I watched it and that just really took the wind out of my sails. I loved the beginning of the film to bits, the middle just would never end its nonstop barrage of introductions for what turn out to be NPCs, then the ending I spoiled, it was a boring experience for me. 

Don’t spoil the ending, and I promise the dragging middle will be worth it. Probably.

1989’s Santa Sangre or Holy Blood, is probably Jodorowsky’s most mainstream and easily digestible film. I’d also say maybe because it was his at the time most recent work, the film that David Lynch took the most inspiration from when he made Twin Peaks. If you watch some scenes in this one back-to-back with certain Twin Peaks scene, it’s definitely obvious what Lynch was watching at the time. Because of this I say it’s the movie of Jodorowsky I can recommend the most, it’s definitely the favorite of his I have seen so far. Hell I’d go as far as to say one of my favorite movies I ever seen.

Santa Sangre follows Fenix, a young man in a mental ward, and shows the story of his life and how he came to be in such a place. Fenix grew up in the circus, his father a womanizing drunk knife thrower and his mother a trapeze artist and also a devout Christian that runs her own crazy offshoot cult of Christ. It’s a fascinating childhood and the imagery is striking. It’s visceral and a wild ride but also something I have to tiptoe around and not explain a lot about. The movie is best experienced knowing very little about it. There’s a very apt comparison that can be made to a certain famous movie, film critics often call it “The Mexican version of [said famous movie]” and I wholly agree, but my God if you know said famous movie’s name that spoils way too much! Classic, film critics ruining film again. 

I highly recommend this one despite almost bending over backwards to deny you too many of my thoughts on it. There are so many scenes that if I close my eyes I still see. The music is fantastic, the scene where Fenix plays piano is easily a stand out moment of cinema. This is the life story of one man I think you simply must experience. 

Vinland Saga

The 2019 first season of Vinland Saga finally came out this year on special edition blu-ray and after waiting what felt like a lifetime I couldn’t be happier to begin my rewatch of the show. I know Sentai released their dubbed version of it back a year prior but I adored Vinland so much I wanted to wait for the special edition and I definitely felt it was worth the wait, as the poster proudly still is on my wall and I am never taking it down. When it comes to Vinland itself I will be brief and say it’s a fantastic anime, and one of the best the year it came out. I mainly just want to talk about this Sentai release which I found to be stellar, the special edition was of very high quality, like I said I love the cloth poster, and I very much enjoyed their dub. I thought the writing was much more naturalistic than the Netflix produced dub with better dialogue flow as well as being just dirty enough in the way Sentai usually is by sprinkling in some tasty F-bombs that most other dubbing studios would shy away from. I enjoyed how accurate it was, as an actual historian with a degree in this stuff it always drives me mad to see so much mainstream entertainment go for the bottom of the barrel easiest to understand AD over using Common Era, so I was glad Sentai used it. Also actually pronouncing the Nordic names correctly where the Netflix dub hilariously butchers all of them is a nice touch too. 

Wild Palms

Wild Palms in a 1993 mini series that followed in the wake Twin Peaks mania. It’s very obvious how much the series wants to be Twin Peaks and often shows up in a lot of comparisons to it. It never quite reaches those heights however. Twin Peaks’ own mastery of mystery and otherworldly feeling just evades this production at every step but where it succeeds is capturing the other more humble aspect that made Twin Peaks great, the soap opera-like cast. It feels very much at home with the out-there and over-the-top quirky characters and I think is one of the best productions to capture that tone of the original first two seasons of the series. It probably helps that it was a Twin Peaks inspired production that was actually made during that 90’s era where soaps were still king on TV. 

Where Wild Palms differs however is how the plot is far more science fiction based and often attempts to juggle complex conspiracies about religious and political leaders and it stumbles at times but by the end is able to actually pull off a fairly interesting story. Sadly the biggest hurdle is maybe the funniest thing. The series stars Jim Belushi and I’m sorry, he gives a great performance in a dramatic role of a father and businessman trapped in some crazy far right religious cult taking over corporate America through the mass media. 

But it’s Jim Belushi, he has such an iconic and recognizable comedic voice and presence that it can be downright hilarious in really unintentional ways. Jim Belushi’s son in the series, an evil genius child, also suffers a lot from this because … it’s a very young Ben Savage. Yes, Cory Mathews is in some Shin Megami Tensei like end of days cult in this. And you know Ben Savage does an excellent job, you can see why he would become a lead in Boy Meets World after this, even as a child he’s a great actor, but it’s Cory Mathews, in a seat of power, in a cult that is trying to take over the world. 

So yeah, the casting is kind of ironically funny today in 2023, especially for millennials, but the series does run a lot of great ideas and by the end of this short 5 episode mini series I was hooked. Some of the dream sequences are downright incredible and almost feel like they could have occurred in the Black Lodge, it’s definitely where the series cribs a lot of its ideas from Twin Peaks.

The Wind-up Bird Chronicles

If you know me personally you know I have an absolute obsession with the hit indie RPG called YIIK: A Postmodern RPG. Yes, truly a masterpiece that is beyond the understanding of a normal human being. Okay, enough snide, YIIK is a downright meme but it fascinates me endlessly. I spent so many years of my life reading about it and watching videos on it, and seeing playthroughs of it. Maybe one day I’ll actually play it … although I don’t think I’m that crazy. It’s a bad game but there’s a lot of creative ideas behind it and I want to say the creators’ commitment to their art is praise worthy, I have nothing but respect for Brain and Andrew Allanson and I mean this sincerely. They messed up, big time, but they created something with all their heart, they shouldn’t be made fun of for that. 

Andrew Allanson the writer of YIIK is a huge book nerd, and often cites Haruki Murakami novels as his big inspiration with his 1994 novel The Wind-up Bird Chronicles as the biggest. And it shows, having read it now because of my YIIK obsession yeah, so many of the best and most creative ideas I thought were in YIIK are definitely just from this novel. That isn’t meant as a insult though, if anything like me questing to see all of David Lynch’s inspirations for Twin Peaks it just shows the creative process, we are the media we consume, and in turn we take that and turn it into our own thing. 

[oskar-vajld]

Get to know me !!

Thanks @theonevoice for the tag !!

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favorite color: currently every shade of purple, baby blue and dark academia™ colours

last song: Yo Yo - MIKA

last movie: Europa (1991), which was pretty interesting in the way it was filmed

currently watching: oof, a lot of things; OFMD first and foremost, Modern Family, B99, Peaky Blinders, Classic Doctor Who, Takin' over the Asylum (bc of David Tenannt obviously, but it's actually a great show), BBC Sherlock and plenty other shows which I'm stalled on

other stuff I watched this year: The Rocky Horror Picture Show (amazing movie, absolutely loved it), Bright Young Things (bc of Michael Sheen duh), Fight Club (truly deserves its rating), The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (the oldest movie I've ever watched and the one that got me into old movies and Conrad Veidt <3), Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (such a silly goofy movie, I loved it); as for the shows, I've watched Staged (who could've guessed lol), Fleabag and Casanova (David Tenannt, again!)

shows I dropped this year: The Legend of Korra, I just can't get into it :(

currently reading: The Brothers Karamazov (Dostoevsky's got me in a chokehold), The Phantom of the Opera (ngl it's kinda underwhelming atm), American Psycho (The film was better for me mostly bc the paragraphs in which Bateman describes clothes etc are so so tedious to read) and The Encyclopedia of the Dead (it's a book by a Yugoslav author Danilo Kiš whom I really love)

currently listening to: No More What Ifs - Lyn, a song from Persona 5 Royal, I highly recommend the game and the music !!

currently working on: practising for DSD II & JLPT N5, establishing a workout routine and a meal plan, not falling behind on school stuff, etc

current obsession/s: Good Omens, OFMD, studying and memorising the map, parts and streets of my capital city (and after that the bus lines and routes) bc I'll be living there next year; I'm also starting to get back into archeology and I'm even thinking of choosing it as my major (which is almsot unbelievable considering I've wanted to choose Japanese as my major for 3+ years; however after learning how terrible our philological univerisity is, especially the japanese faculty, I'm having many second thoughts 〒▽〒)

Tagging @seraf-mina, @glowintheparks, @marzipantheory, @incapableandmorallygrey to do this too if they'd like (～￣▽￣)～

[number-1-kuaidul-fanboy]

Punch Out Wii Boxers Ranked

Thought I’d give my opinion on this since I’ve already expressed biases towards/against certain characters. I will be including Donkey Kong and Doc Louis but not Little Mac (because he is the objective best). The list will go from 15: the worst, to 1: the best. Before I start, I’d like to say that all of these characters are good, well-crafted characters, it really just comes down to personal bias who you prefer. And with that, let’s get started:

15. King Hippo

King Hippo is barely a character. Everything he “says” (there are apparently translations) just boils down to being hungry and he has no personality outside of that. I don’t hate him, but I don’t really care about him. His fight is also pretty boring all things considered. The contender fight is pitifully easy once you know what you’re doing and his title defense fight can go on for a long time and get very monotonous. At least his music’s kinda cool.

14. Super Macho Man

As someone who lives in America, I hate Macho Man with a burning passion. It’s not because I’m “patriotic,” it’s actually kind of the opposite. I’m not offended by his stereotype because it’s mean, I’m annoyed by his stereotype because it’s accurate. I deal with people like this on the daily: in the news. His catchphrases are obnoxious (except sometimes when they’re cut off. That’s kinda funny, admittedly) and he’s egotistical even compared to some of the others. He’s the type of person I actually want to punch in the face so I thank Punch Out for giving me that opportunity but I still hate the character. His match is fine. It’s a bit too easy in both contender and title defense compared to Soda and Bull but hey, at least they tried. His music’s alright.

13. Donkey Kong

Don’t get me wrong, I love Donkey Kong’s inclusion in this game. I think it’s amazing that Nintendo made a match for one of their most famous characters and the fight against him is very unique and challenging to win by KO. That being said, I never really played Donkey Kong so I don’t really have the connection to this character that others do. So yeah, great cameo, not one of my favourite fighters.

12. Bald Bull

Sorry, Bald Bull fans, but I’m not the biggest fan of this raging lunatic. In fact, he kinda creeps me out. People make jokes about Great Tiger being a furry (which he is), but Bald Bull straight up acts like a bull to the point of literally assaulting the poor referee. It’s kind of gross. To that same point, he is also completely shameless about his horrid anger issues which is personally not fun to watch. I get that he was driven mad by the paparazzi (or whatever that cutscene was trying to convey) but it’s still pretty over the top. I’m also not a big fan of his fights. It’s not too terribly difficult in contender mode (except the stupid bull charge) but it’s downright ridiculous in title defense. I firmly believe that his title defense match is the hardest in the entire game, yes even more difficult than TD Soda and TD Sandman. I cannot express with words how much I despise the star punch gimmick. Getting the star punches is frame perfect, making it feel like luck, and getting hit once makes you lose them all. And you need those stars to even knock him down. Seems a bit extreme for the middle fight in the world circuit, doesn’t it?! I was at this fight for hours and was over the moon when I finally managed to beat him. Also, his music kinda sucks. However, I put him over Macho Man because despite everything I just said, I don’t actually hate Bald Bull. I hate his fights but I don’t hate him personally like I do with obnoxious american.

11. Soda Popinski

Oh boy, Drunk Man. I don’t really see many reasons to like him but not any to hate him either, apart from his stupidly difficult fight, that is. I actually find it pretty easy in Contender. There’s a lot of strategies to knock him down really fast and his pattern is pretty basic. As for title defense, did they really need to make it that ridiculously hard? Yeah, there are tricks to make it easier and he has a set pattern but getting into the rhythm of that pattern is incredibly difficult and one slight mistake sets you back to two stun punches. It’s beyond frustrating. And yet the game deems him and Bald Bull to be easier than Macho Man. Why? As a character, Soda is just kinda there for me. It’s fun to make jokes about his steroid soda at least. Also, his music is for some reason one of my favourites tracks in the game. It’s just so epic.

10. Bear Hugger

Alright, now we’re onto the characters I actually like. Bear Hugger is a fun character. He’s one of the more exaggerated stereotypes though I can’t really say for sure whether this one is accurate or not but I’m guessing the maple syrup and hockey stuff at the very least is. I also love the squirrel. It’s implemented into the fight kind of oddly, but it makes his title defense fight pretty enjoyable. It’s a difficult fight but not one I’ve lost recently. The contender fight is fun too, it’s definitely one where I get to spam a ton of star punches. His music is good too. Not much to say on Bear Hugger, he’s fun but I like the other characters more.

9. Disco Kid

Kinda sad that the Wii version only introduced one new character to the roster but at least it was a fun character. Disco Kid’s matches are not a challenge. Contender mode, title defense, he’s one of the easiest fights in the game. He makes up for that by being incredibly over the top flamboyant and cocky, this time in a fun way. I like that he dances throughout his whole fight, I think it’s cool when every little aspect of someone’s match ties into who the character is. Disco Kid is a flamboyant dancer and that is perfectly shown through his mannerisms in the fights. I especially love how in Title Defense, he’s not really bitter or determined to beat Mac he’s just like, “Oh a dance club? This is cool, might as well work this stuff into my boxing routine.” It’s pretty excellent. I’m not a huge fan of disco, but his theme music is pretty good.

8. Aran Ryan

If there’s one thing I’ve seen since joining this site, it’s a lot of Aran Ryan. People on here really love this guy and even many of the YouTubers I’ve seen play this game say he is one of if not their favourite character in the game. Personally, I think he’s a little overrated. However, I do still like him and see why other people like him. He’s sort of a “love to hate” kind of character with him being a complete psycho that’s probably a sadist and a masochist considering how he seems to enjoy being punched and beating the hell out of everyone. It’s fun in a twisted way. His fights are also both pretty fun. Everyone really likes the cheating aspect and yeah, it’s pretty ridiculous that he can literally bring in a weapon and get away with it. However, it also makes his fight stand out from the others. He’s so horrible that he’s just fun to beat up. It’s also the only world circuit fight in title defense that I don’t hate with every fibre of my being. So yeah, fun character, with excellent music might I add.

7. Glass Joe

Here’s another favourite here on Tumblr. To be honest, the fact that people on here liked Aran Ryan didn’t surprise me at all. In fact, it seemed perfectly in character. However, it did surprise me to see how many people liked Glass Joe. I thought he was kind of underrated before but now I see that he’s getting the love he deserves. I love how even though Glass Joe is in every way a french stereotype, he also directly defies the stereotype of the french being quick to surrender. He lost one hundred times and still didn’t give up, becoming determined to defeat Little Mac after earning the headgear. It’s unironically really admirable. Glass Joe’s fights are never a challenge. Contender, title defense, champion’s mode, motion controls, he’s always kind of a joke. However, he is meant to be a tutorial fight for new players and this game gets much more challenging as it goes on, so it’s understandable. They did do a good job at making him more challenging in title defense, but it was still pretty easy at least in my opinion.

6. Von Kaiser

Von Kaiser’s a little underrated in this fandom. Maybe I’m speaking from bias, since I have so many headcanons about him but I really do think he’s a good character. He is just as much of a coward as Glass Joe and isn’t a much better fighter (his contender and title defense fights are both incredibly simple) yet Von Kaiser has a significantly better record than the rest of the minor circuit and even Bear Hugger, with 23 wins and 13 losses. He must’ve gotten those wins from somewhere and I doubt they were all from Glass Joe. That combined with the fact that Kaiser is the oldest boxer in the game (42) makes me think he was once a great boxer but has now passed his prime and refuses to give up, sort of like Glass Joe, but a little more tragic. Regardless, it’s fun to speculate. And I feel kinda bad for Von Kaiser, I mean the dude gets beat up by kids and basically goes mad after being beaten by a seventeen year old boxing newbie. Also, his music is pretty intense despite the fact that he’s treated like a joke by the game. Like Glass Joe, they did do a good job of making Kaiser more difficult in title defense by giving him a one hit KO and plenty of fake outs, though I don’t particularly struggle with either of those.

5. Sandman

Sandman is scary as hell. None of the other boxers really intimidate me, even the one with ridiculously difficult fights, but Sandman is a different story. Everyone else in the game has some kind of silly quirk even when they are serious but this guy is deadly serious about boxing. I mean, they introduce him by showing him beat the shit out of everyone you just faced before, some of which the player may have struggled with. It’s a great introduction for a final boss. His fight in contender is certainly the hardest in that mode and while I didn’t struggle with his title defense fight as much as TD Soda and TD Bull, it was still incredibly hard to beat. And unlike TD Soda and TD Bull, he actually has final boss vibes, so he does deserve his rank (unlike some other characters). Similar to Aran Ryan, his fight also requires the player to be more on offense, at least in my experience.

#4 Doc Louis

Doc Louis is severely underrated in this fandom and just in general. I love how encouraging he is to Little Mac even when he loses repeatedly, I love his silly tips that more often than not are cheesy dad jokes or puns. He’s just a good wholesome dad that loves his chocolate. I love him. Sadly, I have not played Doc Louis’s Punch Out so I don’t really have a perspective on how the fight is apart from videos online but it does look pretty fun, and it’s freaking Doc Louis. How can you not love him?

#3 Piston Hondo

This guy is also kind of underrated, maybe because he’s a bit vanilla? I don’t know, but apart from Sandman, he is undoubtedly the most serious about boxing. It’s actually a bit scary. I mean, this dude can catch a sword in his bare hands and outrun the bullet train, he could easily become champion after Little Mac retires. In fact, for me at least, his title defense fight is the most challenging fight in the major circuit for me. Yes, harder than Bear Hugger and Great Tiger. Those fake outs and speedy Hondo Rushes kept getting me. So yeah, very dedicated to boxing. He’s also just very respectable in general, keeping a calm demeanor throughout the fight and even bowing to show respect. He also doesn’t laugh at you when you get knocked down like literally everyone else does. (Apart from Don, but he still taunts you by asking if you want more.) Yeah, he gloats, but he’s a good sport. It’s nice to see someone who plays fair amongst a crowd of cheaters.

#2 Don Flamenco

Yet another character I’m surprised doesn’t get more attention in this fandom. I dunno, maybe my opinions are just weird. That being said, Don Flamenco was always going to be one of my favourites as he is the only foreign speaker in this entire game I can understand without subtitles. Though even if you don’t know spanish, Don’s character is still very clear and very amazing. Like, I’m sorry, but his contender intro is the best sequence in the entire game. You know immediately what he’s all about and it’s just so beautifully over the top to see this try hard dance his way into the ring with a rose. Actually, “beautifully over the top” is a great description for Don Flamenco in general. He hits every note of the “Spanish man” stereotype in the first few seconds you see him: being a bullfighter, getting all the girls, dancing the flamenco, and just being handsome in general. I don’t know if that last one is an actual stereotype but it’s undeniably true. And none of that is a bad thing. He is a positive figure, if a little cocky, and all of these things that the game could make fun of him for (the NES version certainly does), are actually shown in a positive light. I’m not too fond of bullfighting being shown in that light but it is very popular in Spain so… eh. Also, I do like that Don Flamenco fights like a bullfighter in the ring, baiting you into “charging” or attacking before countering. It’s a nice detail. However, it does make the fight a little too easy. In contender mode, even without doing the infinite, I barely have any trouble with him. He’s easy to get stars off of, his attacks are not that hard to dodge or counter, and if you do the infinite combo, you can destroy him in seconds. In title defense, he is more difficult for sure, but he’s the easiest fight title defense fight in the major circuit. That being said, holy cow is he amazing in title defense as well. He was already over the top in contender but in title defense, after one loss might I add, he acts like it’s the end of the world and becomes completely emo. This could’ve been completely obnoxious or stupid but in my opinion, it makes him very entertaining. He’s just so fun to watch in general, I love his epic music, and I love this angsty telenovela character. Amo al personaje Don Flamenco. El es tan entretenido y guapo. Necesita más amor. Because I mentioned that I know spanish earlier and the first first thing people always ask me is to speak some so there you go. Onto number one.

1. Great Tiger

If you’ve seen my other stuff here on Tumblr, you probably knew this was coming. My very first post on Tumblr, as well as the second, was about Great Tiger and I have tons of pictures of him in my likes. I guess I just have a thing for charming arrogant divas. Seriously, while he’s not as over the top as someone like Disco Kid or Don Flamenco, Great Tiger is a total diva and kind of a show off. He’s always using his clones to glorify himself or taunt you, which would normally be annoying but for some reason, it’s not in his case. And it’s not because I don’t know what he’s saying, the inflection in his voice makes it clear enough that he’s trash talking (and I’ve looked up translations). It’s because Great Tiger has a sort of cold determination, like he is ready to destroy you first, glorify himself after, probably the reason he doesn’t have a taunt, unlike nearly everyone else in the game. He is completely focused on the match and very cool-headed as well. He’s very respectable, even when he’s literally telling you to go drink your mother’s milk. On a side note, I looked up those translations as a kid and I still can’t get over the fact that that is something he actually says. Like, what on earth Nintendo? Still, it’s kinda funny to me. Anyways, I love Great Tiger’s fights. His contender form is fun and I love that intermission scene where he switches places with Doc, showing what a likeable douche he is but his title defense form is my favourite in the game. I really love the magical element, what can I say? The flashing jewel is like a game of Simon put to boxing, I love that he teleports all over the place, the Magic Rush is gorgeous bullshit, and the fight keeps me on my toes but not to the point of being impossibly hard. It’s also fun to experiment with certain elements of the fight, because it can be incredibly varied depending on what you do. just really fun. Whether I do the special knockout or play through the whole fight, I have a fun time fighting Great Tiger. It also helps that his music is spectacular, my favourite in the game. I dunno, those bongos just feel so good on the ears. Great Tiger is also just really interesting in general, and I feel like there’s a lot of unanswered questions about him. How does he have magic? (I know the NES version has an explanation for this but the Wii version does not and is substantially different.) What is the extent of his abilities? Is the jewel the source of his power? It seemed to be directly linked to his corporeal clones in title defense. Is he even of this world? I don’t know, but damn it’s fun to speculate on. I’d love a story just about his backstory, how he got his magic, how he became a boxer, I care about that stuff. So yeah, Great Tiger is the most interesting character in this game, and that’s why he’s my favourite. (I also low-key crush on him, but that’s subjective :)

Anyways, hope you enjoyed my list, it was kinda long, but I have a lot of opinions on this game and this is a good place to put it.

[xhaotixaesthetica]

Yandere Ateez Headcanons

Starlink Intergalactic Navigator 

You are in: The Asteroid Belt 

READ THE TRIGGER WARNING: This post contains mentions and discussion of abusive relationships, threats, violence, death, supernatural creatures, depression, self-harm, disturbing sexual themes and mental illness. The behaviors and relationships depicted below are abusive and unhealthy. These are not examples of healthy relationships, it’s actually the opposite. This is meant to imagine the members of Ateez in a popular anime trope and it in no way represents their real-life personalities and characters. It’s fiction, it’s for fun, PLEASE DON’T READ IT IF YOU KNOW YOU WON’T LIKE IT OR THIS KIND OF STUFF DISTURBS YOU!

Word Count: 6.3K+

Hongjoong

The Perfect Boyfriend

Kim Hongjoong seems like the perfect man and in the beginning, he would be. But it’s an act. Seonghwa and Hongjoong are actually very similar. They both feel little to no emotion and that’s part of why they’re such good friends. But Hongjoong is different from Seonghwa in that he feels desire, but only for one thing. Control. Hongjoong hates feeling small or weak and he gets off on having complete mastery of a situation. Hongjoong is very much aware that his size is the first thing people see and he overcompensates for that in every single way. Think of Christian Bale’s role in American Psycho, except Hongjoong is actually attractive and very manipulative.

Hongjoong would sweep you off your feet, bringing you flowers and food, giving you compliments, being your shoulder to lean on, reading your mood perfectly and always knowing what you want and being available to give it to you. Hongjoong’s control over your life would happen so gradually that you probably wouldn’t even realize until it’s too late. You’ve quit your job, you depend on him financially, your friends are friends with him, your parents love him, whenever something’s wrong they tell him. Hongjoong is everywhere in your life without ever having to be anywhere.

Hongjoong’s best feature is that he’s not delusional. He knows what society expects of you as a couple and he makes sure you two follow that image exactly. He wants everyone to see how good he is for you, how much of an amazing boyfriend he is, his ego won’t tolerate anything else. You have friends because it would be an insult for him if he wasn’t able to control you without eliminating all outside forces. You can still see your parents because it’s expected of you, because he can’t stand if they thought anything bad of him.

He feels literally nothing for you, for a long time. He might think you’re cute and you might amuse him sometimes but that’s about it. But he damn sure won’t let you go and he won’t let anyone else touch him, only because it’s the principle of the thing for him.

Hongjoong does not see you as a person, he sees you as an object, a trained pet. The only reason he doesn’t cheat is because what kind of man would he be if he didn’t have mastery over his sexual urges? He can’t cheat on you and have people think he’s less than perfect.

Hongjoong has an obnoxiously long list of rules that he expects you to follow to the letter and if you don’t you will be punished. Hongjoong doesn’t necessarily enjoy physical punishments, but he doesn’t have a problem with them. He does what he feels is necessary to teach you to obey, nothing more, nothing less. Hongjoong’s lack of feelings toward you will really become evident in times like these, because he has no issue with beating you within an inch of your life and will feel no sympathy afterward. Depending on his mood, he’ll either be amused or disgusted at how weak he finds you and will say things like, “You’re going to leave me when you’re this pathetic? You need me, love. This is your fault, if you weren’t such a moron and knew how to follow simple instructions, I wouldn’t have had to do this.”

A sure-fire way to make your punishment worse is to make a scene or disobey him in public where there’s a risk of tarnishing his reputation. Hongjoong is very good at putting on the big teary eyes, and the hurt puppy dog look so he actually gets all the sympathy, but trust me, he’s not hurt, he’s pissed and the minute you get behind closed doors, he’s going to unleash hell on you.

Hongjoong is unique in that he wouldn’t develop any actual emotional attachment for a long time, possibly years. For all the other members, it’s pretty much an instantaneous thing, but for Hongjoong, it takes time, and there’s no particular reason, it just does. There’s nothing you can do to speed up this process, but following all his dumbass rules will make the process way less unpleasant.

However, it is just a matter of time. He’s guaranteed to feel something for you at some point, there’s just no guessing when that will be.

THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING.

I don’t think he’ll be any more lenient on you after he falls for you, but at the very least he might give you some sort of aftercare, after a punishment.

He will add more rules though and he’s more possessive and jealous now. By this time, you’ve probably learned his rules so well that punishments will be little to none once you get used to the new ones. You’ll start seeing your friends and family less as he desires to keep your presence around more, but you’ll still see them enough that it can just be chalked up to the busy lives that come with age.

He won’t be sorry for anything he ever put you through either. In his eyes, it was all his discipline and punishments that let you evolve from a lowly pet to someone worthy of him spending the rest of his life with.

“See, love? I told you I would make you happy one day.”

Seonghwa

The Ice King

Park Seonghwa has never been able to remember feeling any emotion. Not love, not happiness, not anger, not hate, not curiosity, not anything. He went through life, following instructions, and becoming the pinnacle of success all at his parent’s and relative's own bidding. He had never had any desire before, so never felt the need to rebel against their wishes, completely fine with letting his family push him so hard so he could graduate early and be leading a successful company by the young age of twenty-one.

I see you being his personal assistant or something.

Unlike his friend Hongjoong, the minute Seonghwa saw you, something broke inside him. He didn’t just feel something, he felt everything, and only for you. Seonghwa has no damn idea of how people work, so he just assumes that you feel the same. He expects that you belong to each other the minute you met and the only reason he doesn’t say anything is because it doesn't even cross his mind that he has to. He expects you to know who you belong to and, in his mind, everything about you is his. He thinks the feelings that he felt for you were so strong and instantaneous, that there’s absolutely no way you didn’t feel them too.

In Seonghwa’s mind, the minute you walked through the damn door, you both were in a committed relationship.

However, despite all the feelings that well up inside him when he looks at you, he’ll treat you like everyone else without even knowing it. He’s just as frigid and monotoned, eyes just as dead. He doesn’t look at you or talk to you more than normal or more than necessary.

Seonghwa thinks that tiny ass things like letting his gaze linger on you for two seconds more than usual or using your name when he refers to you or letting you walk in front of him or giving two compliments on your work in a day as opposed to none are obvious signs of PDA, but they’re things that everyone else, even you, don’t think twice about.

The only thing out of the ordinary besides his intense internal obsession is that Seonghwa hires someone to watch you.

He thinks it’s normal, practical even. You’re the “girlfirend” of a powerful man, he has plenty of enemies in rival companies who would love to hurt him and people who would take those he holds dear for ransom so he thinks you should have protection. He doesn’t realize that, even though those things are true, you would literally never be targeted because his displays of affection are so undetectable that no one knows he cares about you.

But this bodyguard doesn’t just protect you. He reports everything, even your smallest actions to Seonghwa. Not just where you’re going or what you’re doing, it’s creepy shit like what color underwear you put on, what position you were sitting in when you watched tv, what body part you washed first in the shower, weird shit like that. He wants to know everything about you, wants to be able to fantasize about you down to the most minute, accurate detail.

You’ll only realize something’s wrong when you’re supposed to go on a date one weekend.

Being Seonghwa’s assistant keeps you pretty busy. A CEO is pretty much a never-ending job and even when he travels, you’re normally with him to assist him. Despite having nothing but a work relationship, you’re actually rarely without him without even realizing it. You don’t mind at all Seonghwa has never been less than courteous to you, if a little cold, but he’d like that with everyone. Besides you get benefits like insurance, a 401K, a “company” car, and tons of other stuff (that none of his other assistants have ever had) along with an outstanding by the hour salary with glorious pay for overtime and traveling with him. Still, the one thing you don’t normally get is free time which is why you were pretty happy to have some time off.

Your date is supposed to pick you up at six but the clock hits seven and they’re a no-show. You’re starting to think you’ve been stood up and you don’t know the person so you’re not particularly upset, just annoyed that you wasted all that time and energy getting ready to go out. You’re about to change into your nightclothes and call it a night when your door suddenly opens and Seonghwa stalks in, key in hand like he lives there.

There’s a flurry of questions in your head. How did he get that key, why is he here, what the hell is happening?

But all of them die down when you notice the spatters of blood on his clothes and your blood turns cold.

Seonghwa doesn’t understand what you were doing by setting up the date. Why were you going to cheat on him? Were you trying to make him jealous? Did you want him to prove his love for you?

He’ll only learn that this isn’t the way relationships work when you tell him and even then, he won’t care.

He feels that he’s in too deep, he needs you, he can’t let you go.

Seonghwa won’t particularly blame you for hating him at first, but he won’t let you go and he’ll use the threat of ruining you and all your loved one’s reputations if you try and make a scene in public or tell someone what he’s doing.

For the most part, he lets you be, as long as you’re in the house. Even though he wants you to touch and love him, he doesn’t feel the need to force you and wants you to do it in your own time.

For the most part, Seonghwa doesn’t really punish you. He’ll kind of just stand there, dead-eyed and let the insults roll off him, might even walk away to do something else, or do some work while you scream at him.

Even when you flirt with someone else or someone hits on you, he’ll kill the person in cold-blood or have them assassinated, but he won’t do anything to you. The only thing you can do to piss him off is tell him that you hate him or, ironically, tell him how cold he is.

Seonghwa absolutely cannot take the thought of you hating him. Disliking him, he can understand. He’s done things that he would never forgive anyone for if they did to him and he has hope that your dislike will go away with time. But hate is eternal for him. When he hates people, he kills them. Do you want to hurt him?

He can’t stand it when you call him cold because to him, it means he’s not enough. He doesn’t express his affection in a normal way and he only cares about you, but he thinks that he’d proven himself to you by doing things for you that no one else would. Things that he’d never do for anyone else. He feels like he can’t even breathe when he sees you, and you have the nerve to call him cold?

I don’t see Seonghwa ever physically hurting you like Hongjoong, I see him isolating you. A dark room with no windows, no smells, no sounds, no sights, nothing. It feels like hell.

To Seonghwa, this is what it feels like without you and he wants to condition you to associate a lack of his presence with this feeling of dark, suffocating nothingness. Even if it takes a long time, it probably ends up working. There’s only so much the human mind can take.

“I killed them for you. You’re all that I care about and I won’t let anyone get in the way of that.”

Yunho

The Damsel in Distress Next Door

Yeosang and Yunho’s headcanons might be shorter and more normal than the other ones cause it’s even harder for me to see them as yanderes than it is for Mingi.

Jung Yunho seems like a normal college student. He plays video games and procrastinates his homework, has trouble remembering to pay his rent on time and probably wouldn’t be able to pay it if it wasn’t for Hongjoong and Seonghwa, once set the stove on fire trying to make ramen, and has an emotional breakdown whenever he sees a puppy or a baby.

Anyone you asked would say that Yunho is the most lovable, gentle, caring boy they had ever met. He just needs to be a little more confident in himself.

They don’t know the half of it.

If there’s one person in the world that Yunho hates, it’s himself. He is incredibly suicidal and self-harming, it’s a testament to his good acting that people don’t know how much he needs a therapist or something.

You meet puppy-boy when you move into the apartment next to his, the last one on the hall.

He’s coming home from getting a few groceries when he sees you moving your stuff in. He’s in his senior year of college, one semester away from a degree, though you’re just a junior, a transfer student who is more than nervous about switching unis so late into your college career.

Yunho is your first friend. From the minute he saw you, he was hooked, it was like he met an angel. You were so nice to him and you genuinely cared about him. Not only that, but you seemed to actually need him around.

Yunho was used to being a burden, someone others coddled and took care of, so it was refreshing when you asked him to help you study or show you around or carry heavy things up the stairs or reach things on the top shelf. He was quickly becoming wrapped around your thumb, he lived for taking care of you. It gave him purpose.

In real life, Ateez has stated before how Yunho likes to care of those around them and brighten their day, make them laugh, make them happy and all that. This would be Yandere!Yunho’s defining characteristic along with his suicidal tendencies.

It’s hard not to develop a crush on Yunho and eventually, you ask him out. And even though he loves you more than life itself, he hesitates.

He feels like he has to tell you about the way he feels about life and the things he does to himself before he can feel secure in a romantic relationship with you.

When you still want to date him, he’s genuinely stunned. That’s when his obsession really begins. He’s found someone that he can take care of but that also wants to take care of and help him and won’t leave him? He thinks he would be stupid to ever let go of that.

Most of the Ateez yanderes have a unique quality about them I’m making them sound like limited edition Pokemon. Hongjoong’s is his delayed affection, Seonghwa’s is his coldness, Mingi’s is his fiery persona, San’s is his duality, and Yunho’s is the fact that he would never ever be a danger to you or others.

He punishes you by punishing himself.

While I do think that Yunho would be the most objectively easy Ateez yandere to escape from, I do think that it would be the hardest to leave him mentally.

You have an attachment to him, you love him, and you can tell he loves you too. But he’s still unbelievably toxic and exhausting.

Yunho will start shirking off responsibilities for you very quickly, flaking out on friends and school and work, just to be at your beck and call and bend over backward for you.

To a certain extent, he expects you to do the same. When you're spending more time with friends or family or work or homework, Yunho’s going to get upset and he’s going to think that he’s doing something wrong and you’re starting to lose feelings. He’s going to punish himself for that and it’s not going to be pretty.

You might not catch on to his habit at first and he doesn’t want you to feel guilty so he’s going to make an effort to hide it from you, but you’ll find out eventually.

It starts taking over your life. You see friends less, forget about responsibilities, and even have trouble sleeping because you’re so worried about him. And because you’re spending even more time with him, the time-frame that you have to spend by yourself becomes smaller and smaller cause he’s so used to having you around.

Even if you bring him with you, he’ll overthink everything. He’ll remember how good-looking your friends are, how much he doesn’t fit your parent's standards, how he couldn’t help you with a certain problem on your homework and he’ll punish himself for it all the minute he’s alone. No matter how much time passes, he’ll always keep these things in his mind and waste no time hurting himself for them.

It makes you not only terrified to leave, but also hyperaware of everything that’s happening when you two are out in public, always ready to give him reassurance. It’s terrifying and exhausting and one day, you bring up the idea of breaking up.

Yunho takes it well, much better than you think he would. He says that he understands and that, even though he loves you, he hopes you find someone to make you happy and give you what you deserve.

But you have a bad feeling in your stomach and it’s only a few hours later, that you’re bursting into his apartment, screaming his name.

There’s no answer and the lights are all off and the adrenaline is pumping through your body so fast, you feel like you might start imploding.

Yunho’s in the bathroom and...it’s not a pretty sight.

His stint in the hospital would have been short if it weren’t for the fact that he needed so many stitches and blood transfusions.

He’s there long enough to get better physically, but his eyes are glassy and he doesn’t talk or move, not even with you. The doctors say it's not anything physical, nothing they can find, and they let you take him home when he’s strong enough because maybe the hospital is making it worse.

He still doesn’t do anything. He’ll use the bathroom if you sit him on the toilet, he’ll chew and swallow if you put food in his mouth, he’ll drink if you put a straw to his lips, but that’s about all you’re going to get out of him.

A week after he gets out of the hospital, you come home and Yunho’s...gone. You left him on the couch, but he’s not there anymore.

You drop everything in your hands and you’re about to fear the worse until he runs out of the kitchen, asking what the noise was and if you were ok. He’s in different clothes than you left him in and the smell of take-out fills the air. How long has he been like this?

You and Yunho eat pizza and he’s so busy chattering that he doesn’t notice that you’re too stunned and scared to touch most of your food, watching him carefully.

He’s acting completely normal, like he was when you first became friends.

You wonder if he even remembers the past couple weeks or if he’s putting on a ruse so he can try and kill himself again when you leave him alone. You’re almost too scared to bring it up in case it sets him off.

Eventually, you settle on, “Yunho, I want to get back together, I’m sorry for what I said.”

Yunho gives you a strange look.

“When did we break up?”

Yeosang

The Secret Serial Killer

Kang Yeosang is very misleading. He tends to wear a lot of dark clothes and has a resting bitch face and he’s very shy though it comes off as being aloof and arrogant. That’s not what he earned his bad-boy reputation for though, even if those things do help to reinforce it.

Yeosang earned that reputation through the only fight he’s even been in on campus. It’s unsure how the fight started or what happened, but by the time it finished, everyone was crowded around to see Yeosang pulverize the other guy.

He broke five ribs which punctured a lung, took a chunk of the guy’s left ear, knocked out several teeth, and completely shattered both kneecaps and his left ankle, effectively ending the guy’s promising athletic career and making him need walking assistance for the rest of his life.

Mingi and Jongho were the only witnesses to the start of the fight and they claim the other guy started it. Most people believe them, just because Mingi isn’t known for lying since he knows people are so scared of him that he doesn't really have to. Also, Yeosang had a decent amount of injuries too. A broken arm, swollen lip, black eye, and fractured rip substantiated what Mingi and Jonho claimed. But, if anything, that made Yeosang even scarier. The arm that was broken was the one he’d used to beat the guy up, how could he be capable of such things when he was so hurt?

No one ever tried to bother Yeosang after that and he never got in another fight which made people think that the guy really did start it, even if Yeosang was still scary.

Yeosang enjoys skateboarding, video games, and flying his drones and it’s while he’s in the park doing the latter that he first spots you walking your pet.

Yeosang stalks you from that moment onward.

He won’t be like Yunho and blow off all his responsibilities to be near you, but he will use all of his free time and carve out a little extra where he can to follow you. Since I’m not a stalker and I have a short ass attention span, so I can’t for the life of me begin to explain why it brings him so much genuine enjoyment to just do nothing but watch you for hours at a time but it does.

He’ll spend about a year watching you and learning every single thing he can about you before he comes into your life like your very own Prince Charming on a white skateboard. You’ll fall for him hard and fast. He’s kind, caring, understanding, and seems to just instantly know you better than you know yourself.

He’s just as clingy as Mingi, and he’s more lenient with you, but it’s more because he puts you on this high pedestal that the rest of humanity is nowhere near. He and Jongho are similar in that they think their S/O is a god/dess that can do no wrong.

It’s always someone else’s fault, never yours.

Yeosang will take you on cute dates and teach you to skateboard and play video games and let you win cause he’s whipped. You’re in love and you think everything’s going perfect.

Because Yeosang’s yandere trademark is that he will be the only one who will make an effort to hide what he is from you.

He is sneaky and you’ll probably never know how sick and fucked up he is.

Yandere!Yeosang likes killing. He likes making someone pay when he thinks they’ve wronged you or your relationship. It gives him a rush of adrenaline and power that nothing can compare to. He’ll purposefully go out and show you off on dates, just to have an excuse to murder everyone he thinks is looking at you longer than necessary.

He’ll get away with it too. He’s friends with Seonghwa, who makes all his seven friend’s problems magically disappear.

Yandere!Yeosang may seem better than the others, because he never displays his toxicity toward you but he might actually be one of the worse ones because he’s a complete serial killer.

“Thank you for being by my side, baby. You’re the only one that’s ever made me feel this way.”

San

The Jekyll and Hyde

Alright, I’m soft as fuck for this adorable sweetheart, it’s gonna take all I got to write him like this.

OK, so firstly.

Choi San is the most two-faced ass bitch you’ve ever met in your life. I mean, seriously. San’s duality is already scary but Yandere San would be on another level, his yandere side came completely out of left field.

San’s first side, the side that you will see for the first few months of your relationship, is his sweet, bubbly, cute side. Both sides of San are hyper and energetic, but this side is also caring and sweet and kind. He’s funny and loves playing games and making people laugh. He’s a social butterfly and has tons of friends and he’s really sensitive and easy to start crying. He’s almost like a child.

Ironically, he also likes reading and watching mukbang videos in silence.

Then there’s his other side. In your head, you refer to him as Other San, because he’s just so different from the regular one. San doesn’t have dissociative identity disorder. Other San isn’t a different personality, and no matter whether he’s being San or Other San, he knows everything he’s done and there are no gaps in his memory.

At one point, you even asked him if he’d ever played around with Ouija Boards or anything demonic and took him to a priest to make sure.

Demonic possession made even more sense than his extreme ass mood swings.

Other San is seductive, hot-headed, sultry, and aggressive. His movements are jerkier and his voice is raspier and the cadence and flow of his speech even changes. But he’s not a different personality and that’s what’s so scary.

San as a whole is very temperamental and emotionally unstable. You’ll be constantly walking on eggshells around him. He can change from San to Other San in the blink of an eye, with literally no warning. Sometimes, he’ll change to Other San for only a few seconds before going back to normal.

Though he almost always turns into Other San when he’s mad, he’ll turn into Other San at completely random times as well.

You CANNOT treat Other San like you do Regular San. He doesn’t want to be babied when he’s in that mode and he will make that very clear.

Regular San is unbearably clingy. He’ll follow you wherever you go and he’ll cry if you don’t give him enough attention.

Other San is down for physically punishing you when you displease him and there are no set rules as to what you should do to keep him happy. With Other San, you can do something that he’s totally fine with and then ten minutes later, you’ll do the exact same thing in the exact same way and he’ll get pissed at you for it.

Like Yandere!Yeosang, both Regular and Other San enjoy killing people. But unlike Yeosang, Yandere!San was a serial killer long before you came into the picture.

“Y/N, why were you talking to him? I told you I don’t like him! Why do you like hurting me?” San sobbed before his body froze. You gulped, your hands, which were previously trying to comfort him, were now pulled away. San wiped the tears from his face before he looked at you, eyes dark and voice rough as he said, “That’s ok, baby. I like hurting you too.”

Mingi

The Clingy Bad Boy

Song Mingi is one of the toughest cases for me. It’s very very hard for me to see him as a yandere at all. Like period. He’s so chill all the time, and I think this would translate to Yandere!Mingi.

He would largely let you do what you want. Go to school, go to work, have friends, etc. The catch? He has to be by your side at all times. Mingi is the resident bad boy at your university. He goes to class because he pays for it, but he smokes, drinks, wears leather jackets, gets into fights, and is generally an asshole. Unlike Yeosang, he’s not quiet at all. He’s loud, fiery, opinionated, aggressive, and hostile. Mingi just seems to have always been filled with this destructive inferno of unquenchable fury at the world for even daring to bring him into existence. His friends made him calm down a little, enjoy life a little more but it’s not the same.

It’s not the same as when he met you.

Yandere!Mingi seems like the type to go for a soft, sweet S/O and when he saw you, he was hooked. Your softness makes him have a little compassion for the world, a little hope that it’s not so bad after all. He knew he was bad, a dark influence on you, but he didn’t care in the slightest. He didn’t want you to be tainted by anyone but him.

Mingi feeds off of your innocence and happiness, which is why he lets you do what you want for the most part. He just doesn’t tolerate anyone looking at you in a less than friendly way. He doesn’t kill, he’s not like Yeosang. He doesn’t have to. He’s not opposed to it, but he would much rather beat your suitors within an inch of their lives and be able to forever take pride in the terror that appears on their faces whenever they see you two again.

Even though he’s lenient about friends, it doesn’t really matter. Mingi creeps your friends the fuck out.

He’s always glued to your side and even though he doesn’t stop you from interacting with them or call for your attention, he just sits there and glares. They’ve never even heard him talk unless it’s to you or his friends.

Because Mingi considers himself to give you so much freedom, he will get all the more upset if you do something that he thinks is out of bounds in your relationship. He thinks it’s disrespectful that he “gives” you so much and you repay him by doing things you know he hates. Mingi’s punishments are going to revolve around sex and humiliation. He’s a hormonal ass teenager and something about seeing his sweet innocent S/O being humiliated by him makes him go feral. I can almost guarantee that you won’t be enjoying these punishments, cause not only would they be physically painful, his degradation would be things that he knows are going to hit you hard emotionally. The number one thing you can do to piss him off and get punished is leaving him by himself. He pretty much doesn’t give a damn what you do as long as you’re together and he doesn’t give a fuck how suffocating his presence is, that’s not more important to him than his need for you.

Mingi needs to be in your presence at all times, it keeps him sane. He thinks you’re like the fire extinguisher to that blazing sun that burns inside his sick mind. You once went away on a school trip for two days and you came back to the entire apartment trashed, stuff was thrown all over the floors, holes in the walls, scratches on the hardwood floors. Mingi didn’t say anything, just stalked over to you silently, knuckles dripping with blood and eyes feral, body trembling with rage. It was the first time that the realization of how big he was, how strong he was, absolutely terrified you. Even his voice, usually loud and boisterous was monotoned and dead, a stark contrast to his murderous eyes.

“Don’t leave me again.”

It’s not a request.

Wooyoung

The Incubus

Jung Wooyoung is a demon.

I’m not kidding, Yandere!Wooyoung is a literal demon. An incubus, to be exact.

Even though Yandere!San and Yeosang are literal serial killers and Yandere!Hongjoong’s a spouse-beating jackass, I just KNOW Wooyoung’s gonna be the one that pisses y’all off the most.

Because Wooyoung cheats. He will literally fuck like three people a day, and no matter how he feels about you or how close you two get, that will never change. He won’t feel bad or guilty for it either. He’ll enjoy each and every fuck and you’re nowhere on his mind when he screams out the other person’s name and finds his release in them.

Wooyoung doesn’t see what his feelings have to do with his sex life and he thinks that you, a lowly human, should be grateful he has any interest in you in the first place.

Since Wooyoung is a supernatural being, he could theoretically just kidnap you and be done with it, but that’s not fun for him.

He plagues your dreams for weeks before he starts showing up in real life. Sometimes, he’ll make sure that only you see him, so people will think you’ve lost it and it can ruin your credibility when you start screaming at him. Sometimes he’ll appear to you in the disguise of other horrific-looking demons so that you think he’s not so bad after all.

He wants to be the only one you can turn to. Him being a demon and all, I don’t see you standing a chance really.

It’ll be easy for him to get inside your head and make you trust and love him, completely willing to ignore how cruel he is to you.

Wooyoung likes for you to be the one chasing him. That’ll be his favorite part of this whole thing. Once he’s broken you, his favorite punishments will be to either ignore you or to make you watch while he fucks someone else and then prove you can please him better afterward.

Yandere!Wooyoung will probably kill people too, now that I think about it. He’d use it as a tool to make you submit to him more and it’s foolproof because he’s a demon. You can’t tell the police and he could easily fabricate evidence that points to you being the killer.

Like I said, since he’s a demon, you don’t have a chance in hell, excuse the pun.

“Always remember, love, you’re only alive because I want you to be. So you better be good for me, hmm?”

Jongho

The Overprotective Guard Dog

Jongho is gonna be absolutely devoted to you. Seriously, if people didn’t know any better, they’d think he was your bodyguard or your servant or something.

Whether you’re older or younger doesn’t matter, he sees you as a divine being and his purpose is to protect and worship you. He thinks other people are disgusting for not seeing how perfect and ethereal you are.

And that means they don’t deserve to live.

I picture Jongho as being exactly like Yuno Gasai from Mirai Nikki. Anyone who’s watched that anime or knows yandere knows that she is the Yandere Queen and the epitome of the whole trope.

For a large part, you and Jongho would be a normal couple. You might go to different classes and work but you always meet up for meals and come home to your shared apartment at the end of the day. He makes you laugh and he’s doting and sweet.

It’s not yourself or him that he has to worry about. It’s other people.

Jongho takes it upon himself to kill, hurt, maim, or terrorize anyone who hurts you. This could be in the form of people who actually physically hurt you, people who bully or disrespect you, or just people who look at you wrong.

If the person is of better use to you alive, then he’ll just hurt or scare them. If not then they’re dead meat.

Jongho doesn’t really enjoy killing, he actually finds it gross, but he won’t think twice about doing it when it comes to you.

Jongho is the only yandere that wouldn’t mind not being your lover. He would prefer to be, but he just wants the honor of being near you, making you happy, and protecting you, in whatever role he can.

Your happiness is the most important to him and if someone else makes you happy then you will have them. Even if they don’t like you back, Jongho will force them to be with you so that you can be happy and they better not ever say anything about his involvement.

He’d be your best friend and really good at acting normal so you probably wouldn’t believe them anyway.

“Your smile is gorgeous, Y/N. I’ll do anything to see it.” 

The Asteroid Belt 

[riotatthemovies]

Today we have a true wildman, maverick of low budget film Joel D Wynkoop. Let's get in the mindset of an actor, an actor's actor. An American Brian Blessed without the beard you could say (imagine Joe D Wynkoop as Hawkman and let that sink in) . To you regulars here at Riot at the movies you will remember Joel from 2019s Terrible Two Day fest where he closed the weekends events by appearing in Clownado as the cowboy pilot. Then just before screenings shut down in the first week for March 2020 we saw him again in the first film of this year Terrible Two Day Fest with a small but high energy cameo at the very end of Dinogore.

Let's pretend we are a live audience talk show and give a round of applause for Joel D Wynkoop.

Riot: Joel you are known as a high energy guy, what do you think or even what do you hope are people's first impressions of you?

WYNKOOP:      Well I hope they like my performances.  There are some that just flat out say "He yells too much!" I even had an actress tell me "Stop yelling at me, you're always yelling at me" but what she didn't get is that was the idea in the movie, the Sheriff(Played by me was yelling) but she got her feelings hurt and asked me not to yell at her.  "But....I'm supposed too." I told her...anyway the director pulled her aside and explained to her "...this is not real life and we were pretending" and she still didn't get it, so the director told me "don't yell at her too much."  Aside from the yelling and the out of control antics of a lot of my characters, I also want to be known as the actor that can do serious stuff too.  I have done parts that when they were done or in the middle of where the audience was crying because I was going for that emotional touch.  I have done things that scare the audience, not to mention my co stars.                          My wife, before I knew her, we had just met and we did a very emotional scene when I was in her face yelling at her, later the director said to her "You were great you really looked scared." and she said "I was scared, he is a scary guy when he yells... I thought he was going to hit me."  But I can also do comedy where people may say "Man Wynkoop was so funny in that" or "Mannnn Wynkoop was so annoying in that" in each case that is what I was going for.                                In my latest movie "THE CRAIGLON INCIDENT" I think people are going to say the latter because the character I do is annoying....but funny...I hope.  If they don't like me right away or there's someone out there going "Wynkoop sucks, his movie's suck"  I hope people make their own decisions if they like me or not.

Riot: Let's look back at your early break into low budget films. Which character do you relate to the most, Steve Nekoda the religious, confused martial arts man of action from Lost Faith or do you deep down feel a little more fucked up like Dan Hess from Wicked Games or maybe even worse the officer in Dirty Cop No Donut? Or is that just crazy ? If you don't feel you personally relate to them, who was your favorite character to play?

WYNKOOP: Just doing Steve Nekoda, Dan Hess or Gus Kimble I think I am a little of all of them in real life.  One time... well more then once in my life...real life...I have had to step in and protect someone like Steve Nekoda would, other times I have been the smart ass like Gus Kimble and his brand of justice where I have said things like (When someone is too close to me, I mean right on my ass) I turn to them and say "Are you gonna propose?" and they say "No" then I say "Then get off my ass!"                        More than once I have stood up for somebody... one time I told two guys to leave the premises because the girl inside the store was scared of them.  The one guy then said to me.  "You got a problem with me?" ��I said "No, I don't have a problem with you, but you're gonna have a problem with me if you don't leave now!"  He started to move towards me. I went into a striking stance and his buddy grabbed him and said  "Let's go man." and they left.  The cops told me later "Don't be the hero just call us next time, we have guns."                      Dan Hess pushed in his Truth or Dare world, is me when I get annoyed in traffic.  Someone cut me off I exploded in rage, he saw me in his mirror cursing him, he stopped his car and jumped out and came after me, I jumped out of my car and yelled at the top of my lungs "Don't FUCK with me man!!"   He got back in his car and left and I did the same.  Hey, I'm not perfect!  

                     Again Steve Nekoda. I am a Christian yes, I swear, I'm sorry, were all human. I will stop and pray with someone at the drop of a hat.  I have ran charity events for people struggling with medical bills.  I will offer you some money if they are hard up...not scammers!  So I guess I am a little of all of my characters.  Nick Hazzard, Dan Hess, Steve Nekoda, Parsons Cooper, Angus Lynch, Tie-Ree, Cope Ransom and a lot more.                         Favorite character?  I think all of them.  I loved Steve Nekoda cause he is like a superhero, Parsons Cooper is turned into a sci-fi superhero.                          Dan Hess is fun because he is an average guy with a messed up life.  Angus Lynch was fun to play because he was just psycho!  Same with Gus Kimble from the Dirty Cop movies.  They are all fun to play, I just can't lock one particular one down.  They're all fun...CLOWNADO?  I loved playing that character "HAWK" for Todd Sheets!!  It was a fun role to play and Todd really let me run with it.  Little easter eggs too in one line almost under my breath you here my character HAWK say "I'm just about to watch a Todd Sheets Joel Wynkoop double feature, those guys kill me."  Yeah I love them all!

Riot: I am honestly imagining you doing a remake of Falling Down (the Micheal Douglas movie) just so I can see you super red faced getting angry in your car and flipping out at the traffic. You have like a dozen, if not more projects on the go at any time. How's Covid treating you? Are you going stir crazy or getting some stuff done on the side? I hope the conventions come back and people can get copies of all these movies as well.

WYNKOOP: Covid?  We are dealing with it.  If the law, Government or whatever wants you to wear masks just wear the mask.  It's not that big a deal.  Yes it annoys me but I wear it because it is the law and you're keeping people and yourself safe.  You know what?  I knew a guy that was a nudist and he told me "Joe, I don't know why we have to wear these, these clothes, I should be able to walk around unencumbered and free, there's nothing wrong with my body, I should be allowed to walk around nude, go into the store, go to the movies, I feel like I am being persecuted against because I cannot be free and naked."  Well guess what?   That is what everyone is saying about wearing their masks...are you comfortable with people walking around naked in your grocery store, pet store, church, movie theater, everywhere you go?  I'm not.     I think if we are told to wear masks then wear them.  It's "NOT" being sheep, you're being smart.  If you don't believe in it... go up to a stranger and say (With your mask on) "Please hack up all over me because I don't believe in the Corona Virus... try and let spit come out of your mouth too cause I don't believe in it so I won't get it!"  Then pull your mask down so you can inhale all that virus you think is "NOT" there.  People say more people die from the flu then Corona?  Really?  Personally I don't know any of my friends that have died from the flu...BUT I Have had at least 10 friends die of the CoronaVirus in the last two months.  As of writing this tonight I just found out two more of my friends caught the Corona Virus because they let someone in their home and now they have it.  If you don't believe in it then you don't believe the Earth is round.                     Stir Crazy?  Nah!  If we need to get out it is because of the news.  The world is really messed up now and it is all the same stories over and over again.  The riots were terrible!!!!!!  Anyway when it gets too much we go for a ride in the van.  I just want to make movies. I can't change anything, I'm not magic.   I'll  just continue to make movies.  Also I am editing my new movie now called THE CRAIGLON INCIDENT which never would have happened if it were NOT for the Corona Virus, I started this movie cause everyone was told to stay home, it was mandatory here! Curfew was enforced.  So I asked my wife Cathy, "Hey just shoot me talking to the camera."  Now spin it around so it looks like I am talking to myself as my counterpart and THAT is how The Craiglon Incident originated.  It is now like two hours long in my timeline waiting to be completed.  If there was no virus there would have been no CRAIGLON INCIDENT".                    But just editing the movie keeps me plenty busy! PLUS I ask people if they are interested in being a producer or executive producer of either or both my movies "THE CRAIGLON INCIDENT" or "BEAST MODE"(A movie we started with Debbie Rochon and Lloyd Kaufman but was shut down because of Covid) people can contact me and become producers and executive producers just by purchasing some of my movies...It's a great way to get some entertainment and build your IMDB!!!!                       Conventions YES!!!  Me too.  So many have been shut down at the last moment.  We even had Tampa Bay Screams here that was slated in August but it has been moved to March 2021 and we don't even know if that will happen.  Yes I miss it!!  More than selling the flicks I like meeting everyone that comes to the shows.  That's why I continue to do things on Facebook and make movies and sell online to keep my name out there so folks don't forget about me.  I don't think I would be comfortable doing a show right now anyway, not the way things are. I have had two shoots lately, one a TV show and one a rap video and I was nervous the whole time hoping I didn't get anything from anyone.  But yes it would be nice to get the world back to normal, well, not even normal... BETTER THAN NORMAL...hey that's a good name for a TV show..."Hey brother what are you doing next Wednesday night?"  "Me, oh not much I'm gonna check out that new TV show...what's it called, oh yeah...BETTER THAN NORMAL".

Riot: Let this be a reminder to my regular Canadian viewers and readers of just how freaking lucky we are up here. I love America for many things but for my health situation I wouldn't trade places with you Joel for the world. Thanks for being so open with us. Ok, How do you feel your films have dated over the years? The projects you've done with Tim Ritter seem to have just as strong a twisted fan base as always if not more these days.

WYNKOOP:     I think they hold up fine.  You have to remember when Tim Ritter and I started there was no CGI in indie movies.  It was all practical effects, if you wanted blood you made it and threw it on the actor you couldn't say "Hey put a blood splat there and make it look real with your CGI effects."  Nothing wrong with CGI it is just we didn't have that then. Also editing wasn't on your home computer with Movie Maker and Premiere... (They didn't exist when Tim and I broke into this, in fact some places have credited Tim and I  have been credited with the whole direct to video happening.)...  it was rent an edit bay with big 3/4 machines and shuttle the tape back and forth... In the beginning for Tim and myself, Tim and I use to edit on cutting boards with splicing tape.  You scratched your effects into the actual film.                           I remember putting "The Eight Million Dollar Boy Meets The Invisible Transport Boy" together, splicing it all together, it was an hourlong and it was hard to do that 50 feet at a time.  But yeah a lot of people are like "Yeah I remember TRUTH OR DARE man that was cool!" Even Elijah Wood on all the late night shows was talking about how much he loved "TRUTH OR DARE"!  "LOST FAITH" has got that same kind of attention, a lot of people really love it.  BUT like all our movies... some hate them, some love them.  I'll take the love over the hate... but you have to accept it all.       Believe it or not I learned this philosophy from Marvel Team Up.  Spiderman had just stopped the Basilik and was handing him over to the cops and Spidey said "Here you go officer, although I don't know why you would want him?" and the cop said "All part of the job wall crawler, you take the bad with the good."  And that is how I take everything, especially reviews.  You take the bad with the good.                               So yeah I think they hold up...I had a friend when STAR TREK THE NEXT GENERATION came out and he was like "Oh the original sucked the effects are much better in NEXT GENERATION"   Well "No Duh" I told him... it's like 30 some years later but STAR TREK is still a classic show!!  It still holds up today, the stories are great and I love the effects... yes the upgrades are awesome but always classic "Star Trek".  There is always gonna be a better format... pretty soon movies will be like holograms and we'll be being punched in the face by the characters in the movies. Technology changes everything so you have to give them credit for the era they were made.                                    The people that love Twisted Illusions movies and my movies are AWESOME.  I divide the two because Tim and I have done alot together as Twisted Illusions and I in turn have done a lot under Wynkoop Productions and joined the two over the years. I am still a part of Twisted Illusions with Tim and he with me in Wynkoop Productions it is two small companies just trying to entertain people.                                   We are BOTH very fortunate to have the nice people we do enjoying all of our movies and we will never forget that.  I get Facebook requests all the time and I ask them "What made you want me as a friend?" and they 90% always say "I saw your movies in High School" or "I saw you in Truth Or Dare"or "I loved you in Dirty Cop No Donut" and they all say "What are you doing now?".  In fact every time I think I am going to quit I get a Facebook from someone saying "I love your movies please don't stop making them." and I never will until GOD calls me home.  Even then when I am gone, I hope people keep watching all my movies I have done with Tim and the ones I have done and the ones we have collaborated on.  To the ones out there that watch our stuff I hope we are entertaining you because that is all we want to do, 'cause we sure arn't getting rich from it.

Joel Getting Tough in The Other Side

Riot: You do the whole package, acting, directing, producing. What makes low budget filmmaking still a passion for you and what are some of the things these days that frustrate you the most?

WYNKOOP: Frustrate me the most?  Editing.  I will have a whole scene in my timeline and the power goes out, I hit the wrong key and delete stuff, lightning hit the house and fries it, lightning turns out our power and I lose it.  It freezes up as I am editing and I have to wait an hour for it to fix itself.  When it says "SAVE" I hit no.  I make mistakes when I am tired while I am editing and boom I do something wrong and it is gone and I have to start all over again.  There have been problems when I was editing my TV show I was putting in the last minute touches and lost the whole thing and had to start over from the beginning again.  Frustrating!  I keep working at it no matter what.  I like to act in all I can.  When I don't have anything that is when I say it's time to make my own movie, although in this case of "THE CRAIGLON INCIDENT" it was because of Covid 19.  I'd like to make more money at it but doesn't everyone?

So as you can tell I sneak more then one question in at a time and I'm glad you took the time to shoot the shit with us. I hope 2021 means we get to go crazy and make all the weirdest and wildest movies we all can think of and I look forward to seeing what you got to throw at us. Thanks again. Stay Awesome.

Also Check out Joel in Lycanimator made by our Ontario buddy Seb Godin (also of Dinogore), get the vhs horror boobs made for Wild Eye Releasing , its better then the dvd.

WYNKOOP:  Thank you all for taking the time and showing some interest in this old guy!!!!  It is appreciated, thank you to everyone on your staff and everyone reading this article... thank you all so much and to see what I am doing please seek me out on Facebook under Joel D. Wynkoop.  Thank you!

[krokodile]

movies watched in 2017:

the neon demon - a rewatch, and i loved being able to not have to try and figure out the story and just enjoy the movie with all its glorious beauty.  it’s throwback horror done flawlessly, while still being totally unique and impressively creative. 

roman - i love angela bettis as an actress, but less so as a director.  still, i don’t think this is meant to be the next great american classic (...wait, is lucky mckee actually canadian?)  i think it’s more of an experiment, and a successful one.  it held my interest and kept me guessing, and that’s enough.  editing could’ve cleaned up some things with picture and sound but maybe the roughness was intentional.

into the forest - such garbage.  emotionally manipulative dreck.  and make sure you shoehorn your anti-abortion message in there somewhere.  i always thought evan rachel wood would grow up to be a great actress, but whatever potential she had I’ve never seen fulfilled. 

arrival - remember how they remade the day the earth stood still a while back and it was utterly moronic?  THIS IS THE MOVIE THEY SHOULD HAVE MADE.  the sheer beauty of amy adams interacting with the creatures left tears in my eyes many times, and despite being equally heavy with the message, it left plenty of time and space for interesting, well-drawn characters.  throw in some fucking impressive storytelling and amy adams being her usual luminous self and there’s just nothing to not love in here.

the girl on the train - disappointing.  maybe my hopes were too high after seeing how great the gone girl adaptation was, but this story just didn’t work as well in a visual medium.  emily blunt tried her hardest, but this was the weakest performance i’ve seen from her to date.  

the 9th life of louis drax - i hated every single character so much, i couldn’t get invested in the story.  and even if i had, the resolution was glaringly obvious from the first voiceover.  oliver platt was the only tolerable performance. 

get out - i was expecting to like this movie, but i wasn’t prepared for HOW MUCH i liked it.  the 99% on rotten tomatoes made me expect a “message” film, and the more critics love those the more boring i tend to find them, but i was still pretty optimistic.  holy shit though, best movie i’ve seen in a LONG time.  people have already talked about what’s so great about it, far more eloquently than i could, but it’s pretty close to perfect.  and the performances are going to go down as some of the most immediately remembered and recognized in the horror genre.  a lot of the film’s success comes from daniel kaluuya’s utterly brilliant performance - he’s the easiest horror protagonist to love and root for since sharni vinson in you’re next. 

we’re the millers - not really my taste in comedy, but i got a few laughs out of it.

nocturnal animals - i hate that i didn’t like this movie, because i so wanted to.  and the frustrating thing is, i can pinpoint exactly what went wrong for me.  the screenplay is fantastic; it looks gorgeous (i love how the “book” segments actually LOOK just ever so slightly fake); amy adams knocks it out of the park and the supporting cast is terrific.  my problem is jake gyllenhaal.  and i don’t think he’s a bad actor; i like him just fine.  but he was a terrible fit for this role.  (and tbh i didn’t need the flashbacks to his and amy adams’s relationship.  the movie would’ve worked just as well without them and they derailed the narrative quite a bit.)  all his screaming and crying and raging just seemed incredibly calculated, and i don’t think it was intentional.  he was just out of his depth here.  i’m also not sure why the opening sequence went as long as it did.  and no i’m not whining that i had to look at naked obese ladies.  but it just felt like someone trying to be david lynch and came off very pretentious student film.  i also think it could’ve been half the length and still accomplished what it set out to do.  but really i can let go of everything but jake gyllenhaal’s performance. 

i know there’s been some controversy about the violence against women portrayed in this film, but i’ve noticed that people by and large have no problem with extreme violence against women being portrayed as long as there’s no nudity; the fact that we saw their bodies nude (and that tableau was absolutely beautiful, by the way; that got the most genuine emotional reaction from me out of the entire film.  so softly devastating; especially since isla fisher and ellie bamber had used their few minutes onscreen to get me to completely fall in love with them) is what people find horrific and unacceptable.  the sexual violence, nearly all of which took place offscreen, was not used for shock value or as a cheap device to give a picture “depth” or “tragedy.”  i can only assume i’m not the only audience member whose guts just ripped in half in sorrow seeing mother and child laid out like that.  i actually think it was one of the best done moments in the film.  i understand not wanting to see that, but to call it unnecessary or exploitative seems to me like the point has been greatly missed.  (it also involves totally not understanding the film’s structure and jake gyllenhaal’s character but i won’t go into that.)

i am not a serial killer - pretty good little movie.  i usually hate it when things go supernatural, but this was one of the rare occasions where the movie was no worse for it.  mostly some parts lagged for me; otherwise no complaints.

psycho - a partial rewatch since jenna was watching it.  still a terrific movie.  and it was fun picking out all the little things bates motel has referenced over the years. 

[beardcore-blog]

Wolfenstein 2: The New Colossus Review

This review will have all the spoilers. You’ve been warned.

It was either late 2013 or early 2014. Good times. I was messing around on Youtube one day looking at videos of the latest Batman game. Then in the recommended videos I saw something that both confused and intrigued me. The thumbnail was the iconic image of Niel Armstrong saluting the American flag he just planted on the moon. Except there were a couple differences. Twisted, terrifying differences. The American flag was replaced with the banner of Nazi Germany. And Niel was Seig Heil’ing to it. I’m pretty sure I let out an audible "what the fuck?" apon seeing this. This was the E3 trailer for Wolfenstein: The New Order. For those who don’t know, Wolfenstein is one of the oldest franchises in gaming, and put FPS games on the map. A goofy game about shooting Nazis in WWII that gave 90s gamers the chance to shoot the hell out of Mecha-Hitler. Think of it as a prototype to the more infamous Doom series that would launch shorty after. The New Order was a modern-day reboot with some ambitious questions. The biggest one being "what if they won instead?" The New Order takes you to an alternate 1960 where the Nazis beat the allied forces to the nuke (among other advanced tech) and thus took over the world. It was grim. It was campy. It was subtle. It was loud. It was dumb. And it was also much smarter and more engaging than anyone would’ve thought. So it went on to be a smash hit in 2014, and one of my favorite games ever. A few months ago to the day this is being posted, Bethesda stopped by E3 and showed the world it was sequel time, showing off Wolfenstein 2 The New Colossus (Actually like the 3rd or 5th in the series) to the world. The next day I preordered the hell out of it. Was it worth it? Well after 10 days of tearing through it, lemme tell you.

So I’ll start off with things I didn’t like, get the negativity out of the way. It’s not a big list but I think what on it is valid. In The New Order, which I shall now abbreviate as TNO, in nearly all sections you could either go in fast and loud, putting holes in everything that moves with dual automatic shotguns and a big laser cannon. Or you could be a bit more stealthy about things, sneaking through vents and corridors putting knives in throats and taking care of problematic enemies from afar with a suppressed pistol (which might I mention was one of the things I loved about the TNO; keeping the pistol relevant and not just a forgettable starter weapon like most shooters). It was all about personal play style, but both options were viable. In The New Colossus, which I shall now abbreviate as TNC, going in loud was the way I always went because it seemed more viable. And I always went stealth in TNO. I probably just need to learn the areas, but there was some problems I ran into. Like this game being dark. Not story wise (even though it is) but literally. I remember alot of areas meant to be stealth-able lacking in the lighting department, and I set my brightness at the recommended settings, too. Anytime I’d get caught it’d be from and enemy that I couldn’t see. And that leads to another problem. In TNO, enemies stuck out in the maps. Even if they were dully-colored humaniods coming in plentiful shades of gray you’d still spot them from across the area. It was probably due to both TNO being brighter and the enemies having a wide design variety. Not so much in the TNC. There’s less design variety here and they all seem to just blend into the background alot. Even the brightly-colored HAZMAT and Venus space troopers don’t pop in anything less than Glamour Magazine photo booth. On top of that those two previously mentioned troopers, while being obvious separate models apon inspection, honestly just look like classic Mortal Kombat-esque palette swaps. Again, TNO had alot of variety in their designs. Which is why it was a shame there was no proper model viewer in TNO, and why it’s straight-up bullshit their isn’t one in TNC. One of my favorite bits of last year’s DOOM (another Id games classic updated for the modern world) was a model viewer that let you get an up-close look at the game’s monsters and weapons. The Batman: Arkham games have had it for years. Hell, I remember having them back in 2005 with Jak III. Why can’t Wolfenstein, with their toybox of greatly-designed characters, weapons and assets have it? Or a photo mode, too? I’m not insane about graphics in games, but I still appreciate them with how incredible they are today, and TNC is no exception. It’s a beautiful game. Let me appreciate it to the fullest extent possible. Honestly these days model viewers and photo modes are something all games should have with how far graphics have gone. If only bosses got the same advancement. TNO had a few that aren’t Psycho Mantis or Big Baby Bowser levels, but they were fun nonetheless. DOOM’s bosses were one of the highlights for me. TNC has none of those. Here and then there’s an enemy that can act as a sort-of miniboss, but their’s nothing big and climactic like TNO’s showdown with the towering London Monitor, or the final showdown with the main antagonist, General Deathshead. The "final boss" of TNC is more of a gauntlet than anything. 3 pairs of Supersoldiers, a higher-powered but still common enemy assisted by a shitload of standard infantry, finished off by 2 "Zerstörers", which are basically super versions of the Supersoldiers (I call them "Super-duper Soliders"). The main antagonist of the game, General Engel, goes down with one melee attack, only vainly defending herself with a pistol. An outdated pistol by both the game’s and IRL standards. In a game where mechs, actual Avengers Helicarriers and boimechanically-enhanced mutants are possible, you’d expect so much more. Especially with Hitler himself making an appearance. I was really looking forward to a modern-day Mecha-Hitler. Not sure if I’d want bosses to worry about though since something as simple as getting your weapons out can be a pain. In TNO you could dual wield nearly every weapon in the game, but you could only dual wield two of the same gun. In TNC dual wield returns, for every weapon you can carry, and you can interchange between them. And while it has it’s uses for sure, it feels kinda clunky, not to mention slow. TNC takes it’s sweet time letting you change your weapons which can be fatal, especially since this game carries over a problem TNO had in that you’re not exactly warned when your current ammo’s about to run dry and you’re gonna get lit up while changing a clip.

Now to the good, which I assure you outweighs the bad. Lemme start by saying that the gunplay feels as fantastic as before. Every gun has kick and you feel it whenever you see a Nazi get turned to mush by your triple-barreled automatic rotary shotgun. Yes, that’s a thing in this game. As is a pistol-sized grenade launcher. And sticky-bomb launcher. And an OP-as hell laser cannon that atomizes people and metal covers/doors alike. And all of these can be powered-up through upgrades. The Shotgun can be upgraded to have ricochet rounds to deal even more damage. The pistol can have a suppressor so it stays useful like it did in TNO. The Assault Rifle can have both a scope and armor piercing rounds making it able to down mechanical enemies in one shot. And the laser cannon. Oh god the Laser cannon. Called the LaserkraftWerk in the game, it’s by far the best weapon you’ll get, even before upgrades. One shot will destroy even more armored infantry, but when you upgrade it so the blast can be charged, ooooooohhh. One charged blast will down Super soldiers with ease, and even on higher difficulties the powerful Zerstörer units I mentioned earlier will fall with a few good shots. Combo this with an extended battery doubling your already-decent ammo pool, And you’re unstoppable. I guess that leads to another issue. While every gun has their uses and you’ll likely use every one at one point, like DOOM before it you’ll probably cruise along primary’ing 2 guns. For me it was the Shotgun and Laserkraftwerk. But even then they weren’t the weapons I used the most. It was the heavy weapons. In TNO there was a Heavy MG you’d find here and there. It was powerful, sure, but could only be picked up and not carried in your inventory, and slowed you down considerably. You couldn’t sprint and crouching reduced you to a snail’s pace, and interacting with anything would make you drop it. In TNC there’s 4 types of heavy weapons and they’re awesome. They still slow you down but nowhere near the TNO’s. You CAN interact with stuff and you can even sprint with them. Doesn’t sound like much but believe me, that makes a world of difference. Another thing that gives you an edge in combat is the contraptions. There’s 3 in total; The Ram Shackles, which allow you to bash through both weak walls and enemies alike, the Constrictor Harness, which allows you to sneak around in tight spaces, and the Battle Walker, my favorite, which is just some goddamn stilts. They let you get to higher places so its not anywhere as useless as it sounds, but also has perks, like the other contraptions. You’ll be able to tank explosions without falling over, make enemies freeze n terror at the sight of you, and even keep your overcharged health from going down, my favorite. Speaking of health, one thing that makes the newer Wolfenstein and Doom games is the lack of regenerating health. You have to find health and armor in the levels, and this returns in TNC. One addition though is instead of having to pick up stuff manually, walking over health and armor pieces will make you pick it up automatically, though manually picking them up like before is still an option. It admitting needs refinement but it works well enough. It’s nice after a firefight were I took a beating, I remember where a health pack or some armor was, I run to that location, and I already have some extra heath/armor on me when I get there from the bits that was lying around. While I did say that their isn’t much variety in the enemie’s designs, the designs that are there are good, and carry over that retrofuturistic asthetic I loved so much about TNO. My favorites are either the Ubersoldat, with is basically a Nazi T-800, or the previously-mentioned Zerstörer. Enemy behavior is much better in this game too. In TNO during a stealth section if an enemy ran into a dead body, they’d just move along like something happened. In TNC, enemies are much more sharp. Anything louder and light sniffle they’re hear and investigate, and if they find a dead body they go into high alert and start hunting for you. The levels are incredible too, truly feeling and looking like a 1960s America under Nazi control. The level layouts in this game are kinda funny. In TNO a new level was an entirely new location. In TNC, multiple levels are across one location. This is due to the levels being so much more vast than TNO if anything. My favorite level is either the Nazi base on Venus (the actual planet), or Manhattan, which was directly hit by a Nazi nuke in WWII and is now a desolate, irradiated wasteland. You could feel how thick and cancerous the air is, and the devastated buildings have their upper skeletons eerily bent and curled from the blast. Fallout fans will have a bit of deja vu going through it. All these locales help guide the story along, which like TNO before it is a standout part of the game. TNC takes place right after TNO more or less, after the main character, BJ Blazcowiz, is mortally injured in his big battle with General Deathshead. You’re saved by your resistance buddies before they nuke the place, but you’re still messed up. After 5 months in a coma, the game finally starts. With you shooting Nazis on a U-boat you captured previously in a wheelchair. For half the game the only reason you’re able fight again is thanks to a power suit wired to BJ’s brain. Even while you’re fighting BJ’s injuries are taking their toll. By his own estimate, he has weeks. Which is tragic to think about since in TNO, he met Anya Oliwa, a nurse who took care of him during a prior comatose, and eventual lover. By the time TNC rolls around, she’s heavily pregnant with BJ’s twins. Not being their for his kids is something BJ laments a few times, and you feel for him. Especially when you learn about his awful childhood at the beginning of the game. He deserves a good family, and it sucks he’ll never get that. And for a bit it really seemed like that he wouldn’t since midway through the game, BJ’s betrayed by his abusive, racist, Nazi-loving father who make his childhood such a shitshow, and is captured by Nazi forces. After a few weeks of parading "Terror Billy" The most horrible terrorist the world has ever seen according to the Nazi propaganda machine, BJ is executed in front of the Nazified Lincoln memorial to an audience of millions. Beheaded, it really seems like the game took a grim turn. Luckily due to the quick work of his aforementioned buddies in the resistance and some advanced tech, BJ is saved, if head slapped onto a new super soldier body. This brings up something that some reviewers had an issue with. TNC goes through a tone shift in story midway through the game. It starts out very grim and foreboding. Your base was attacked, the leader of the resistance is murdered right in front of you, America seems like it’s perfectly fine living under the Nazi’s boot, BJ is crippled and basically expecting death, and his unborn kids seem like they won’t have a dad. Even in gameplay things feel grim at first. Even with the power suit giving double armor you can’t escaped the halved health. You really feel like you’re playing a crippled character. BJ himself puts it out there pretty good. "I take it off, I’m afraid I’ll fall apart and all the pieces won’t fit back together again." Then he loses that body and gains one that can actually move on it’s own power and then some. BJ is basically reborn. stronger than ever. It makes sense that the game would kick up to a more upbeat tone. You’re a new man, more powerful than ever before. This can be done. You can save the world. This upbeat attitude peaks at the birthday party scene. Just before the final assault, it turns out it’s BJs birthday, so what do you and your resistance buddies do? Party like theirs no tomorrow, because for all they know there might not be. If their’s one thing I like in a story it’s reminding me that the character I’m playing and the characters around them are people, and not by just showing me their trauma and flaws. Every character in Wolfenstein already has those in spades. I’m more for seeing them having fun. Being happy. Enjoying eachother’s company. Take me out of the misery for once and remind me that their’s something good in the world. Not to say seeing smiles on their faces is what made them good characters. Every major character is pretty good in this game. Grace Walker, The new resistance leader and black revolutionary front member is pretty much a female Samuel L. Jackson. General Engel, The game’s antagonist, is the perfect villain in that you want nothing more but to see her get what’s coming to her. Super Spesh, Grace’s husband and crackpot alien conspiracy theorist, gives some good comic relief for the time he’s around. And Anya. Fucking Anya. Loyal, smart, and considering the crazy shit she does while carrying twins in her, may be more badass than BJ himself. And even with the grim beginnings don’t think this game takes itself too seriously. In one level, right after BJ monologues to himself about his imminent mortality, he (and us) get a first glimpse at the Nazi’s rocket-powered train system. Something he immediately responds to with basically "what the fuck?". After nuking the Nazi high command in fucking Roswell, BJ escapes on what’s pretty much the monocycle from Men In Black. Before BJ’s head is slapped onto his new body, it’s dropped in a jar like Futurama. That Venus level I mentioned earlier? You get there on a Nazi flying saucer. And again, stilts. One of your upgrades is big, stompy stilts.

Overall out of all the recent iD software games to hit the scene lately, I’d say DOOM is my favorite. But I’ll give it to The New Colossus. With a few bumps here and their it’s just as fun to play as it’s predecessor, and improves in most areas. Overall, yes, it’s a step up from The New Order, and if you want a fun, absurd shooter with a good story to tell, look no further,

Posted by SHARPSPEED on 2017-11-08 21:23:49

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The post Wolfenstein 2: The New Colossus Review appeared first on Good Info.

[existentialstatesofmind]

Cohabitation

“Some legacy. Living off of the heartache and misery of others. You’re just trying to soothe your conscious if you have one. But the truth is the casino’s goal is to make as much money as possible. That includes serving liquor and gambling. Maybe you set limits on how many drinks you serve customers but there are no other limits. Logically it’s my dad’s fault he doesn’t know when to stop and has gambled away almost everything he owns. However, Dad’s become a town joke. He’s the drunk old man they can take advantage of and laugh at. There’s nothing he wouldn’t give away including me, his own daughter.” Clare rolled her eyes obviously not believing Eli about why he gave her the jewelry. “Dad didn’t fill me in on the details of your deal. He told me to forget my old life. He neglected to mention I could keep going to college. My parents never thought much of my dream of becoming a writer. Before Dad lost the law firm, they wanted me to follow in his footsteps. I’d rather forge my own path so I found a way to make a career out of what I love. I didn’t officially withdraw. I already took spring finals before I came here. I just didn’t register for next semester. Now that I know what’s going on…” Her voice trailed off and she shrugged. “There’s probably still time to sign up for summer classes and if not, I’ll go back in the fall. I’ve been taking classes both online and in person. Of course I couldn’t tell Ben what’s going on so even though I’m not happy about ending my relationship, it’s okay. I’m not going to contact him. The thing is, I don’t understand how Lucas is involved.” Clare only knows Lucas as a friend of her father’s. For years he has hung around their apartment playing card games with Randall and watching hockey. Other men came over too. Clare was expected to feed the unruly ‘guests’ and get them beer after beer. She thought of Lucas as an enabler. A bad man but not a danger to her. She would’ve willing went with him if Dad asked her to. At least Lucas wasn’t a stranger like Eli. Clare kept reading the book until Eli played the first message. Her eyes didn’t leave the page she was on but she stopped turning the pages, a clear indicator that she had stopped. Lucas’ voice came across harsher than she was used to. In person anyway. THIS was the man who left threatening messages for Randall. The one who Randall owed a sizeable debt to not Eli. On one hand, she should’ve known. Clare had been to Lucas’ casino a few times (with Ben) to drag her dad home. That’s where he spent most of his time. Lucas egged Randall on encouraging him to place bets no matter what state he was in. On the other hand, how could she have known? Dad promised her to Lucas and then tried to go back on his word? Clare’s horror grew as she heard why Dad changed his mind…Lucas knew better! She didn’t do that. At all. She wasn’t…a whore. She’d never cooperate with Lucas’ plan. Clare listened to the next message, her eyes filling up with tears when Lucas threatened to kill her dad. That’s why she’d come here. So Dad would be safe. Why Dad thought she’d be any safer with the ‘devil they didn’t know’ was beyond her. Lucas was still coming after both of them! And Eli could do anything to her! “What is all this?” Clare asked Eli when the message stopped. “Lucas wants me so he can pimp me out? But he’s willing to settle for selling me to the highest bidder…you? Dad talked you into pretending to buy me?” She guessed her voice growing shriller. She was on the verge of having a heart attack or at the very least a panic attack. “Wait. The FBI is involved? Is that why you can’t just give Lucas the money so he’ll go away? Or do you think he still won’t give up…until he has me. I don’t get it. I can’t be that valuable. I’m not going to do what he expects…how can he expect that?! He’s a monster.” Clare seethed. “Are you kidding, I need the knife now more than ever! I may have to stab a rapist. If, if those messages are real. You didn’t order one of your men to make the messages to trick me?” She looked at Eli. “Dad never mentioned leaving the country. Do you think he left..without me…is he safe? I’m okay with it if he’s safe but where would he go? He has no money, no one to help, how can I send money to him if he’s in hiding?”

Normally Eli would’ve ignored comments about the casino, but he took out his wallet and showed her a picture of him, a girl, a woman, and a male. “The girl next to me was my girlfriend. The man and woman, her parents. Being Native American here is the same as in America the only legal job they could hold was running the casino so it wasn’t like they had a choice. No one wants a Native American Indian working for them and they couldn’t open medicine stores because of the laws. The casino is the only thing they left behind. One night while everyone on the reservation was sleeping, a racist poured gasoline over the entire place killing everyone. The casino is the only memory I have left of my girlfriend and her parents. Sorry if you don’t like it, but I‘m not destroying the only thing I have left of them. Imagine if your boyfriend’s parents owned a casino and you spent just about every day in there with him, doing homework, learning math from the games, building up years of memories and the next day he and his parents are taken away from you just like that and you never get to see him again, would you destroy the only thing that holds the memories of him? Or would you keep it open to keep the memories alive?” he asked curiously. Eli listened to everything Clare had to say and listened to all her questions after the messages stopped. “No, I didn’t buy you nor will I. Lucas won’t sell you to me even if I offered him money because he knows me. I bought girls off him before, most were beaten and bruised so I simply took care of them to gain their trust, fed them, bought them new clothes and when they finally talked, I was able to learn where they came from and about their family.” he explained. “Your dad and I have talked off and on, he’s often invited me to his house to gamble, but I don’t gamble so I never went. Plus Lucas and I don’t always see eye to eye. I’d get your dad to stop betting and walk away, Lucas would yell at me and we’d end up fighting which your dad hated so he’d play another game to humor Lucas and I’d leave. I couldn’t allow myself to watch your dad throw his life away and he wouldn’t allow me to help him. When he came to me explaining how he lost you in a bet, I figured that I’d take you in and he’d get help or at least stay away from Lucas.” he explained and laughed when Clare mentioned not being that valuable. “But you are, you’re catholic and a virgin. Virgins in sex trafficking get sold for millions, add Christian to that and your price goes up, on top of that and I don’t mean to offend you, but you have big breasts and you’re gorgeous. In the sex trafficking world, you’re like a unicorn and everyone wants one. If Lucas would hold an auction bidding you off, guys would fight to the death to take your virginity if Lucas told them to. And it wouldn’t matter if you were into sex or not because they wouldn’t care, they’d own you and would tie you up if they had to. You wouldn’t see the light of day.” he explained just as his phone started to ring and he put it on speaker. “Hello?” he asked. “Eli, this is Randall Edwards. Please tell me you still have Clare.” he said. “She’s here and doing fine. I like how you forgot to tell her she can continue college also she thinks Lucas is a friend because you didn’t tell her you lost her in a bet.” he explained. “Tell her that Lucas isn’t a friend, that he’s going to rape her if she runs away from you and your men, then possibly kill her.“ Randall said to Eli. "Wait, kill? You never said he wanted to kill her before.” Eli exclaimed. “I know my little girl and she’d fight back if guys would try to rape her, I had a friend go to Lucas’s basement with a hidden camera and he was burning corpses. Women that fought back got killed in the process. The friend told him he’d end up killing Clare in the process and he said it wouldn’t matter because he’d have sex with her either way.” Randall explained and Eli quickly held his hand up to Clare to tell her to stay quiet. “You should stay out of his club before you bet your other daughter and ex wife. Let this be a lesson to how you’ve hurt Clare. I’ll protect her just like I promised you, but I can no longer keep the promise to keep her in the country. You lost Clare to Lucas as a bet, you and I both know he keeps an ace hidden up his sleeve. I get that I’ve known you since I was 18 and that I’m trying to end Lucas’s sex trafficking, but you’re not helping. Talking to him about Clare or having a friend mention her just makes him think he’s winning and that’s why he’s getting like this. You forget, I grew up with the guy until he went missing and they turned him into this. He wouldn’t touch me because I’m close to his parents and he still thinks of me as family even though I think he’s psycho, but he will go to the point to where he will covet Clare so much he’ll kill her so no one else can have her. He’s done that before, he killed his first wife because she wanted a divorce and if he calls me up saying he’s going to kill Clare so no one else can have her is the day we disappear. The only thing you’ll get is a goodbye letter from her in the mail and that’s only if she chooses to send it. If you keep making this worse for her, your daughter vanishes from your life too. Also Lucas already wants you dead, you’re helping him by dangling yourself in front of him. I’m not giving you any more money than I already have. You’ve had plenty of chances to leave the country. I also heard you made 2.3 million in one night to actually save Clare from all this. It was the one time Lucas actually allowed me to have some say in his life. Who do you think was behind him giving you 24 hours to gain the cash you needed in exchange that he wouldn’t touch Clare? You’ve had ample times to make this better, fuck just you doing what you normally did would’ve worked. Now you went and pissed him off. You need to understand that if Lucas threatens to off my guys, Clare and I need to leave the country because neither of us will be happy here.” Eli ranted. “You can’t keep me away from my little girl, please Eli. I didn’t tell her I lost her in a bet, but she understands my addiction.” Randall sobbed letting him know he gambled the money that was supposed to grant Clare her freedom again. “Your addiction is going to get both of you killed. I’ll keep both of us here until Lucas gets more hostile, but dangling Clare over his head is like dangling a million dollars over your head. The more someone tells you they owe you a million dollars, the more you want it. Clare is an object to him and you’re only fueling his fire. I gave you my word that I’d protect Clare just like I would any other girl I saved from Lucas and I’m a man of my word. Also you’re on speaker. Clare, do you have anything you want to tell your dad?”

[newagesispage]

                                                                                    MAY 2017

PAGE RIB

 *****On March 31st Robert Redford did a nice op-ed piece on the times. I had been waiting for his wisdom during this countries troubling turn of events.  It is worth a look up.

*****I am sort of liking HBO’s Big Little Lies. It has great music but the characters can be a bit ho hum. I must say that I never thought I would see Reese Witherspoon puke so much and that it would be so green!!

*****Thanks NPR for reminding us that Pat Buchanan campaigned on Trumps platform first but didn’t make it to President. It is like we have stepped backward in time.

*****The NFL draft was a big deal with The Packers picking Kevin King and the Vikings picking Dalvin Cook. The Browns go crazy with Deshone Kizer, Myles Garrett, Jabrill Peppers and David Njoku.

*****Why do we not have Days of our lives and Late night with Dave box sets? There is a market for them. What is up NBC?

*****Days alert: It was nice to see Vanessa A. Williams (Dr. Valerie Grant/ Days) on Major Crimes. **A scene from Days: Kate: What am I doing?  Marlena: You’re having a drink with your best friend… Who would have thought that you’d hear Marlena say that about a former wife of Stefano? OMG, times sure have changed on Days. .. Thank goodness that awful couple in Canada are history. But what the fuck is up with Nicole? First she trusted some stranger when her and her daughter’s life depended on it and then hiding stuff from Brady who is the only person she can trust and now she just wants to settle in to a place that has been compromised. What happened to her street smarts, her radar?? Also..Lani sips champagne with a psycho pimp while working undercover with no back up? What are they saying abut the women of Salem? Are we supposed to believe that they have all become idiots?  I guess Kayla and Hope are still acting sane.**. A. Martinez is out as Eduardo so that hurts. **So glad that Sonny and Paul are back together but surely something will tear them apart. It is good to see them together at the Kiriakis mansion. They should be running the place, what a power couple!!** The slow moving love story of Ciara and Theo will be so sweet when it finally comes to be.** Sammy is back!!!

*****Oh Scandal!! Portia? How could U????????

*****Hackers, known as the dark overlord seem to have the next season of Orange is the new black as well as other things.

*****Disneyland got real when Johnny Depp dressed as Jack Sparrow appeared at the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.

*****Cate Blanchett will star in All About Eve in London.

*****Aidy Bryant is engaged to her partner of 9 years, late night writer Conner O’Malley.

*****Scary Clown 45 has a red button added to his desk to summon a butler.

*****3 Isis fighters were killed by wild boars!

***** It is scary to see that it is not just the U. S. struggling with shady elections. The Philippines had concerns with vote-buying and gender equity.  In Zambia there were stories about harassments of private media and abuse of office. Elections in the Congo have been postponed but many citizens are being trained to observe their own elections. Voting in France has led them to 2 outsiders for the run off but with worries about tampering.

*****Blondie’s ‘One way or Another’ is being over used in advertising. Thank goodness the new stuff is out there. Blondie will be at London’s Camden market from April 29 to May 3 with some Chris Stein photography. Pollinator is due our may 5 and it is sounding good.

*****Why can’t Scary clown 45 talk to this nation in a normal manner? Does this country deserve nothing but tweets and snipes? And what is with all this covert golfing??

*****Charlie watts wins the Gold award at the Jazz FM awards!!

*****The writers at Law and Order SVU did a great job the last week of May on the HNT episode. This episode was about sexual abuse at a fictional TV network.  They slipped a line in about the network, HNT and how when the news personalities work together they are in the “fox” hole. Nice!!

*****Helen Mirren is working on the new movie about Sarah Winchester..It will be released in spring 2018. Yeow!!

*****Main Squeeze will be at the Summer Camp festival in Three Sisters park, Chillicothe,Il.  And in a private message: Finally the three sisters will be together at the three sisters times two. I am a lucky girl!!!

*****It is nice to see Bill O’Reilly out but he was well paid for it. He gets a settlement, he still writes books and still has his podcast so we are never really rid of the pecker head. Most of the allegations against him were of a sexual or abusive nature and yet most of the upright evangelical brigade stood by him. How can this be acceptable to so many? Bloomberg and Wendy Walsh are asking for a full investigation into Fox’s workplace. A lot of advertisers had pulled out but some were resistant like Hulu, Trivago, Terminex, Flonase, Capital One, Honda and Nutri system.  Of course many of those that did stop advertising just moved their dollars to other Fox shows. Mia Farrow said it best: “One less lecherous racist on national tv”Birds of a feather flock together so Ailes.. O’Reilly.. all the old pussy grabbing white men who have been in their glory may finally get some small discomfort.  Do they not understand that nobody wants to fuck them? Power does not get you everything, at least not for free.  Scary Clown 45 should be out next, yet Michael Moore predicts we will not be rid of him until he is impeached in his 2nd term. OY!

*****Rex Tillerson : “The Syrian people will determine their own future.” The Trump team seems so used to being sneaky and dishonest that they do it when they don’t even have to.

*****Many merchants are fighting against the Illinois healthy workplace act. The bill asks for 5 sick days a year when employees work 20 hours a week. Why can’t we all get on board with that??

*****Dale Earnhardt Jr. retires from racing!!

*****Sandy Wexler is just loaded with stars like Conan and Jane Seymour!

*****Harrison Ford gets to keep his Pilot license.

*****Crashing will be back for a second season and thanks for the Zevon music.

*****Liam Neeson will play Mark Felt in the deep throat movie, Felt. OOOOOOOO Can’t wait!!

*****Former National Security Advisor Susan Rice seems to be getting the “blame the black woman” treatment from the Trump administration. They don’t like the fact that she requested the identities of Americans caught up in the election fiasco.

*****McMasters seems to be adding experienced persons to the National Security council after Steve Bannon was removed as one of the principals. Getting rid of Flynn’s personnel seems to be a move in the right direction.  Insiders have suggested that Trump and Bannon laugh behind the scenes for he may be less visible to the public but he is still there.** Insiders are also commenting about the comparisons of former WH staff and political shows like The West Wing, Veep or Scandal. WH staff used to laugh about how much calmer the White House really was compared to those shows and the way they make it all look so chaotic. Now reality has caught up to its fictional counterpart as the chaos ensues under scary Clown 45 and the family.

*****The senate changed the rules to get the Supreme Court they wanted so that it is not really a true representation of our country. It is no longer a requirement to have 60 votes for a Justice. Gorsuch was added to the court with the smallest number of votes in history. Are we finding out now that he is a plagiarist?

*****The US has dropped from 4th to 6th as a tourist destination worldwide.

***** Devin Nunes is under investigation after recusing himself from the Russian investigation.

*****Since E! is experiencing some serious falling ratings, they are looking for some new reality blood. They seem to be looking in the direction of Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna and their 2 beautiful daughters Delilah and Amelia.

*****Neil Young was ill so Dave Letterman inducted Pearl Jam into the Rock and Roll hall of fame. But no matter what else happened, the J. Geils band was still not inducted which is an outrage and now we have lost the man himself so Geils will never be there to drink it in. Every year I rail about one of the best bands of all time not getting enough votes to be inducted. What the Hell?????

*****Jimmy Kimmel was so broken up about the loss of Don Rickles. The moment was raw and touching and since I have always been more of a Newhart fan, I was glad to hear a Bob Newhart story.  Adam Sandler even wore a suit.

*****Duck Dynasty is history.. Finally!!

*****Let’s stick to policy.. We didn’t like when they made fun of the name Barack so why is it ok to make of Reince for his name. There are plenty of other things to belittle him about. A for instance is the way he insists that “nobody cares” about Trumps tax returns. Every single day I hear people say they want him to release them. He lives in denial and spin.

*****Oh what casting: John Waters as William Castle on Feud!! I am sad it is over but that was a hell of a show!!

*****Thank you to The Americans for the wonderful use of the Stones song, ’Slave’.

*****On April 8th the Dallas emergency siren was hacked with no computers involved. It was done old school!!

*****The Washington Post won a Pulitzer prize for its reporting on Trump’s charitable foundation. The NY Times won 3. The Salt Lake Tribune won for its investigation of rape at Utah colleges.

*****The Pope gave free laundromats to the poor in Rome.

*****There was a beautiful guitar shaped floral arrangement sent by the Stones to Chuck Berry’s funeral.

*****Sergio Garcia golfed his way to a championship.

*****Law and Order SVU show runner Warren Leight, who has been there since Meloni left, will be leaving the show.

*****Sean Spicer had to apologize for telling us that even Hitler didn’t sink to the level of chemical weapons.  If you don’t know history, you are bound to repeat it.

*****President Obama deported more immigrants last February than Trump did this February but Trump is moving them through faster. Scary Clown supporters are getting less than they bargained for. I know those voters don’t seem to understand why we have trouble accepting the new way of things. It is very hard to adjust to a laughingstock after such a reasonable and honorable President.

*****The University of South Carolina took the NCAA Women’s basketball championship.

*****The Lost City of Z from James Gray is with us starring Charlie Hunnam.

*****Barbara Bush has 8 toes.

*****Kharma is a bitch. South Carolina congressman Joe Wilson who yelled ‘you lie” to Obama in 2009 in his state of the union was drowned out by those same chants at a town hall. Nevertheless he is still committed to repealing the ACA.

*****There has been some controversy over a clown sketch with Louis CK on SNL. It is very similar to a sketch that Tig Notaro started in 2015 and still uses on her tour.

*****MTV is bringing back Fear Factor.

*****It is now known that 7 countries picked up Russian intels of contact with the Trump team.

*****Korn has hired 12 year old Tye Trujillo, who I mentioned in an earlier tumblr page, as a temp .

*****Scary Clown 45 signed an order allowing states to defund all Planned Parenthood services.

*****Julian Lennon has a new children’s book with Bart Davis and Smiljana Coh titled Touch the Earth. They hope to teach children about the environment and ocean life protection.

*****Harland Williams has a new LP, Cousins. He is also on the Disney channel with Puppy Dog Pals.

*****The Glen Campbell LP, Adios that was recorded after his alzheimer’s diagnosis is due out June 9th.

*****Best fake United ad I saw… Board as a Dr: leave as a patient!

*****The Cooking channels Food: Fact or Fiction has a great host in Michael McKean but it is a bit hackie. It does have some interesting food history though, like Fairy floss( which it is still called outside of this country) that was introduced by a dentist, then later tinkered with by another dentist before it became cotton candy!

*****Trudeau proposes legal recreational pot in all of Canada.

*****Hasan Minhaj hosted the White House correspondents dinner that the President and his staff would not attend. I don’t know why I wasn’t expecting much from Minaj but he did a terrific job!!  Trump gave himself a boner by throwing himself a rally instead and the press and his cult followers fell for it. I came home that evening to find him on every fucking news channel. Really??  Horrifying!! Samantha Bee had held a charity event, not the white house correspondent’s dinner which was funny. She really handed it to CNN who deserved it because most of the time, they are unwatchable because of the amount of people who are talking. Even Anderson Cooper never calls these idiots on the ridiculous things they say. Jordan Carlos did a small blurb, which was exciting. The real dinner honored Woodward and Bernstein and yet all were focused on the clown. He repeats himself with the repetition you see in a toddler so why keep listening? Fight his policy, zero in on the offensive things he says, it is all out there IF you want to listen but why every channel every time he speaks? Nobody in history has gotten more coverage except perhaps Hitler and Lincoln. C’mon!!  As long as journalists keep interviewing him and showing his clips on a fucking loop we will never be rid of him .They are giving him exactly what he wants. Just let him implode, give him no ink and he will get bored. Nobody seems to get this except Dem strategist Tara Dowdell. I was so happy to finally see a smart talking head who was saying exactly what I was thinking. But back to the WHCD: The reporters on the red carpet were joking about the lack of celebs and how boring it was. Some celebs had opted not to be there from the start because it is a Trump Presidency. His celeb supporters , of course followed their leader and did not attend. Others probably thought with less press coverage, less prestige and less schmoozing with the top , why go?? But that all sort of offends me.. We need to shine a light on some of the great journalists and stories that won awards. We may not know about Trumps lies about his charitable giving if it weren’t for these brave souls. What about the students, the journalists of tomorrow who were recognized? Julie Whiston, who has been throwing these dinners together for years is retiring and she was honored.  In the audience, there was a guy who seemed to be falling asleep so there was a bit less bang than usual. But in the end, Minhaj hit hard at the administration but nothing they did not deserve. He got some hateful looks and a fair amount of groans, which I did not understand but genuine laughs as well. He roasted all the news teams but gave such an eloquent moment at the end about how important the press is and how wonderful our country is. ** The next morning the Sunday shows catered to Trump and his 100 days and barely mentioned the WHCD except for This Week. This Week showed various clips but that may have been because they had WHC Association President Jeff Mason as a guest.  Meet the Press had Pence on looking apprehensive as he prepared to spin. He told us all how terrible the last 8 years have been and thank God that things are going so well under Trump. He chuckles like this is all a game as their healthcare stalls again. He sounds more like his cult leader every day preaching that Trump has gotten so much done by signing all those bills and just look at all the crowds he gets!! I suppose it is true that his followers don’t care what he actually gets done. They seem to just care that he keeps up the’ fuck you’ to things like the WHCD or that he caters to dictators and welcomes freaks like Phillipines leader Rodrigo Duterte who once called Obama the son of a whore.  Hs base loves that shit. **The Sunday morning shows should put a real dream team panel together for a season. I would love to see some real brains up there like say Bernie, Michael Moore, Colin Powell, Marco Rubio, John Kasick.

*****Aaron Rodgers and Olivia Munn are over.

*****What is going on with Dr. Phil’s eyes?? They seem unusually OPEN!!

*****Ivanka dined with Xi Jinping and now has provisional approval from the Chinese Government for trademarks that would usually take a lot more time.

*****Kevin Spacey will host the 2017 Tony awards on June 11.

*****Shouldn’t Trump know where his aircraft carriers are before he starts shooting off his mouth? North Korea? Australia? It matters!

*****Serena Williams is pregnant.

*****Richard Simmons may be clever like a fox. Word is he has been working on a tell all book and building suspense for big bucks.

*****Trumps sanctuary cities order has been blocked by a Federal judge but I like the way Colbert tweeted about it better: “Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. A judge walks into a courtroom and blocks Trumps executive order.”** BTW.. Has anyone celebrated the fact that Colbert has a female announcer??

*****An inquest is being held about the death of Terrill Thomas. He died after being deprived of water for 7 days in a Milwaukee isolation cell last year.

*****GOP lawmakers want to exempt themselves from their redo of the ACA. They want to keep Obamacare for their staffs and themselves.

*****It was great to see Nathan Fillion on Brooklyn 99 and that he uses his voice on Cars 3.

*****Marc Edwards was on the Daily Show but he is not the Marc Edwards I know!! The Daily Show interview was with the engineer who helped uncover the Flint Michigan water problem. The ‘problem’ has caused 600 million in damage. The administration is looking for something to do with the leftover $ they had with the 107 mil they got from the inauguration, they could start there.

*****Speaking about places with small crowds, Trump got another one when the Patriots came to town. The picture of the super bowl winners with Obama was huge but a small bunch gathered this year with Trump.

*****So SNL sort of blew my mind, Harry Styles playing Mick Jagger. It was like a 2 for 1 sale of YUM!!

*****Domino’s pizza changes itself every time they turn around. New menu, new sauce, now a new look.. Why don’t they just give it up. I don’t think I have ever met anyone who likes their stuff.

*****Nugent, Palin, Rock.. Time for the apocalypse!!  Ted and David Crosby have been in a twitter war. Ted calling Trump a ‘ball of fire’, being so proud of his Pres. and Crosby calling Nugent a ‘brainless twit’.

*****Thank you Billy Barr for your obsessive climate records in Colorado. You give us proof positive of our climate problems.

*****Scientists tell us that about 110 million tons of plastic trash is in the ocean and into the food chain.

*****Brad Paisley has a new LP, Love and War, with help from John Fogarty and Mick Jagger. Paisley set a Johnny Cash poem to music for the album.

*****Michael Moore at the Tribeca film fest: “Ignorance leads to fear, fear leads to hate. Trump knew that part of the equation really well. And hate leads to violence.”** Hillary was also at the fest to talk about elephant poaching. She was there for a Kathryn Bigelow film, The Protectors.  I hope she does a lot more of this. Support the Clinton global initiative!! She also talked of her support for the March for science. I was so glad to attend our own smaller Science rally.

*****So Trump summoned all the Senators to him by bus to have a classified briefing about North Korea which they say told them little. What a waste of money. He couldn’t go to them?

*****Pagans and Wiccans among others are finally recognized faiths in the military. Welcome familt members, U R now recognized!!

*****Fox is being investigated by the justice department and the USPS for the payouts to all those women and their business practices. **Roger Ailes man, co- President of Fox news, Bill Shine is being defended by Sean Hannity in some ranting tweets. **There has been a quiet outreach for a new head of the news division, preferably a woman.

*****The new Gong show is shaping up to be something special. They won’t admit it but the scuttlebutt is that Mike Meyers is hosting as Tommy Maitland. The host has an entire back story in a crazy nod to Chuck Barris. Andy Kaufman used to appear on the original show and this seems so Tony Clifton. Will Forte’s production company is in charge and he will appear as a rotating judge. Also judging will be Jack Black, Zach Galifianakis, Alison Brie, Andy Samberg, Elizabeth Banks, Joel McHale, Dana Carvey and Anthony Anderson.  The Gong show premieres on ABC on June 22nd.

*****Will there be a writers strike??

*****Scott Baio is getting some backlash for his comments on the death of former girlfriend, Erin Moran. In an interview he stated that if you do drugs and drink, you die. She did reportedly have a drinking problem but died of cancer. He is now blaming the backlash on the liberal hate of him because of his Trump support.  Seems like a typical angry Trump supporter response.

*****I still can’t believe that the daytime Emmy’s, which honor television, are not on TV anymore but I found them. They streamed live on Twitter and Facebook. Right before they were to start, things froze up but that may have just been my computer. When it suddenly jolted into the action, I was bombarded with dancing daytime stars and the Crenshaw high school choir. Eric Martsolf( Brady Black) and Nadia Bjorlin (chloe Lane) were singing with other actors as well. The hosts were Sheryl Underwood and Mario Lopez whose sexual banter was a bit uncomfortable and seemed to go on forever. I never understand the bitching about the length of these shows when this chatter could be cut. They were right, however when they talked of how hard these daytime stars work.  One good thing about no network would seem to be no commercials but they still stopped for breaks. **Larry King was there and I saw Meredith Scott Lynn (Anne Milbauer) jump up to lead a standing O for his 60 years in the biz.  Another legend, Nichelle Nichols was there but did not win. ** Even daytime Emmy’s can get a little political. Gaby Natale won and gave a nice FU to intolerance. Kate Mansi won for her former portrayal of Abby on Days. They had a march of basset hounds that were adorable but many of the short legged dogs had trouble getting up the stairs. All the hounds are up for adoption. Tim Allen did not seem t care for them and told us he was a cat person.  He introduced his friend Mary Hart for her lifetime achievement award. She droned on for over 10 minutes and told us her life story. I don’t know if she thought she would never have the chance again or is going into seclusion or what but it went on and on. Perhaps she thought this show was just for her. Congratulations! ** Steve Harvey won twice but was not there. Maury was nominated for his first Emmy but did not win. I will be honest, I did not recognize most of the winners. ** Best dressed for me were : James Reynolds, Nadia Bjorlin, Susan Lucci, Aisha Tyler, Kathryn Kelly Lang, Jane Pauley, Gina Tognoni (glad she won) and Lamon Archey. Worst dressed were: Vanna White and Natalie Morales.

*****RIP Jonathon Demme, Francine Wilson, Connie Brooks, Gilbert Baker, Erin Moran, J. Geils, Don Rickles, James Rosenquist, Dorothy Mengering, Charlie Murphy, Dan Rooney, Sylvia Moy, Cuba Gooding Sr., Aaron Hernandez and the victims of the Syrian chemical attacks.