#i guess i could still call him magpie it just feels. weird. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yellowcanna · 4 years ago

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Star-crossed Lovers

Summary:

"Have you heard of the story behind the Qixi festival?" Childe said mysteriously, waddling a finger at their little traveller friends. "It's about a pair of star-crossed lovers who can only meet once a year. It's a very old Liyue folktale, but I've heard rumours that this story was actually based on an adeptus and his lover. They are an Alpha and Omega pair that could only meet once a year.”

“An Alpha and Omega meeting only once a year?!” Paimon was horrified by the news. “Is that even possible?!”

“Adeptus…” Aether thought back to all the adepti he and Paimon had met so far. The face of one particular adeptus flashed across his mind. The Guardian Yaksha, Xiao. Like his element, he was the only adeptus that travelled around Liyue without a territory or home to call his own. “Do you know who?”

"Well now..." Childe's eyes flicked to the raven-haired man sitting beside him. "Who knows? It's just a rumour, after all."

Genre: Fluff, Omegaverse, light angst, hurt/comfort, separation, yaoi

Rating: M

Pairing: Cyno/Xiao, Childe/Zhongli

[Cyno is the Egyptian character in Act 3 from the Teyvat Chapter Storyline Preview.]

Author: Canna / Yellow Canna

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Available on AO3!!

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“The Qixi Festival?” Paimon asked, floating next to Aether and staring at the Fatui Harbinger—or former Fatui now—sitting across the table. “What is that?”

“It’s a festival dedicated to a famous folktale in Liyue called The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl,” Childe explained. “It’s a story about two star-crossed lovers. They even got poems for it but I’m not good with poems so I can’t tell you much about that.”

“Through the varying shapes of the delicate clouds, the sad message of the shooting stars, a silent journey across the Milky Way.

One meeting of the Cowherd and Weaver amidst the golden autumn wind and jade-glistening dew, eclipses the countless meetings in the mundane world.

The feelings soft as water, the ecstatic moment unreal as a dream, how can one have the heart to go back on the bridge made of magpies?

If the two hearts are united forever, why do the two persons need to stay together—day after day, night after night?”

Zhongli recited the poem before bringing a cup to his lips and enjoyed the aroma of the finely brewed tea.

“The story is about a young cowherd by the name of Niulang. He is but an ordinary human who fell in love with a goddess name Zhinu.” Zhongli glanced over to the two outlanders. “They’ve met and fallen in love within the mortal world, but their love was forbidden by the goddess of Heaven and forced to part. Separated by the Milky Way, they can only meet once a year on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month—"

"Which is August, by the way," Childe prompted helpfully.

"—through a bridge made of magpies to spend one night together.”

“That’s…that’s so sad!” Paimon sniffled. “Why celebrate something so sad?”

“Half a glass of water can be seen as half empty, yet it could also be seen as half full. It is but a matter of perspective,” the raven-haired man chuckled. “If you look at it from another way, today is a joyous day for the two lovers to finally meet, thus should be celebrated.”

“But you know, there have been rumours going around that The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl was based on a true story~” Childe said mysteriously, waddling a finger at their traveller friends. “They say that this is a story of an adeptus and his lover. They are an Alpha and Omega pair that could only meet once a year.”

“An Alpha and Omega meeting only once a year?!” Paimon was horrified by the news. “Is that even possible?!”

“Adeptus…” Aether thought back to all the adepti he and Paimon had met so far. The face of one particular adeptus flashed across his mind, but he shook it away. “Do you know who?”

“Who knows? It’s just a rumour.” Childe shrugged and leaned back in his chair. “Sure you’re not gonna stay for the festival? There’s plenty of good food at this time.”

“Weeeell—” Before Paimon could scream ‘yes’, Aether held out a hand over her and shook his head apologetically.

“Thank you, but we really can’t,” the blond politely declined. “We need to head to Inazuma as soon as possible.”

“Guess it can’t be helped then.” Childe wasn't surprised by the blond's rejection. He knew how desperate the boy was in searching for his sister. He rested his head against his palm and grinned at the two. “I guess this is goodbye, huh?”

Aether nodded before looking at the Snezhnayan worriedly. “Will you be alright?”

“Of course,” Childe laughed, finding it funny that the blond would worry for his well-being of all people. However, when he spoke the next words, his icy blue eyes darkened despite the smile never faltering on his lips. “They already got the Geo Archon’s Gnosis. They wouldn’t risk coming to Liyue again just for the head of a little traitor.”

“Aether, Paimon,” Zhongli spoke up, drawing the two travellers’ attention to him. “I ask for both of you to not mention what has transpired, as well as my identity, to anyone—especially the adepti.”

“Why? Wouldn’t they be happy to know you’re alive?" Paimon couldn't understand the archon's decision of keeping silent on the matter.

Zhongli didn't speak for a long time. He stared at the tea swirling in his cup before looking back up to meet their gazes.

"Please," was all he said.

"Ok...we won't tell anyone," Aether promised.

Paimon looked like she had many things to say, but in the end, she kept her mouth shut and nodded as well.

Zhongli smiled and brought his hands up, making a gesture that the two outlanders were now overly familiar with, for the people of Liyue always did this gesture whenever they showed their thanks.

"It will get a bit boring without you two around," Childe lamented.

“Oh, we’ll come back!” Paimon chirped confidently.

“Be careful in Inazuma. The Archon of Electro does not take kindly to outlanders,” Zhongli cautioned.

“We will. Thank you for everything, Zhongli, Childe.”

Aether waved before he and Paimon left the Liuli Pavilion.

The two men watched them go. It was only after they couldn’t hear their footsteps anymore did Zhongli turned to his companion.

“Shall we dine then?" He waved a hand at the untouched feast laid before them.

"Only if you get me some forks. These chopsticks are seriously hard to use." Childe laughed, trying to pick up his chopsticks only for one to drop onto his plate. "How are you feeling?" His question was seemingly nonchalant as he continued to play with the chopsticks, but Zhongli could hear the bitterness lingering in his tone.

"I'm fine," he assured the Alpha. "The loss of Gnosis only means I cannot use my power. It does not affect me otherwise."

"Hm..." Childe tried using the chopsticks again but this time both clattered back onto the table. "Aaah, I give up!" He threw his arms into the air dramatically before flopping towards the Geo Archon and rested his forehead against that stiff shoulder.

"You should have run when I told you to,” he mumbled quietly. “Now you're stuck with me."

Zhongli reached one hand up and combed his fingers through the soft copper coloured hair. "Do you not want to stay with me?"

Childe snorted and looked up to meet those golden eyes clear without any other intentions. Seriously, how this archon remained so pure and oblivious despite being so old was beyond him.

"Nah, I'll stick around. Someone needs to keep an eye on you when you go out."

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Aether walked through the crowded street of Liyue harbour. He glanced around at the people setting up stalls and stands, preparing for the Qixi festival. Everywhere was rowdy with joy and happiness, so much that it almost made Aether wanted to stay. Almost.

“Let’s go, Paimon!” Aether grabbed Paimon who was drooling over some dumplings and dragged her away. After finally making it out of the packed city, he finally asked Paimon the question he didn’t dare to ask in front of Childe and Zhongli.

“Hey Paimon, is it bad for Alpha and Omega to be apart?”

“Of course!” Paimon shouted before remembering that this worldly outlander was clueless about the dynamics here since that didn’t exist in his original world.

“I told you how Alphas and Omegas are different than Betas, right?”

“Yeah…something about Omega could give birth regardless of gender?” Aether was still a little weirded out by that one. He wasn’t disgusted or anything, he just didn’t understand how that was possible.

“Yes, but when it comes to Alpha and Omega, once they found a partner, they’re bonded for life. They got this thing call a mating bite where they leave scars on each other’s necks—right over their scent glands!” Paimon pointed at her own neck. “I don’t know how it works, but I heard that it lets them connect on a…spiritual level? Basically, their partner means everything to them. Separating them is the same as taking a part of them away.”

“Is that so…?” Aether thought of his sister. He could relate to how it felt to have someone important ripped away from his side.

“Hey, Aether, look!”

“Hm?” Seeing Paimon pointing at the sky, he looked up and found that it wasn’t the sky she was pointing at, but Mt. Tianheng.

He put a hand over his eyes, protecting them from the bright sunlight and was able to make out the silhouette of a person standing at the very top.

“Is that…Xiao?”

As though hearing the call of his name, the adeptus above moved. In a few quick steps, the famed Conqueror of Demons ran down the mountain like a graceful mountain goat and landed before the two of them. Aether was certain that even if he jumped down without a glider, he still couldn’t beat the speed the adeptus displayed just now.

“I hear that you are departing Liyue,” Xiao said, his face unreadable as usual.

“Yes, we’re heading to Inazuma.” Aether nodded.

“The Archon of Electro does not welcome outlanders. Best to be on your guard.”

“You said the same thing as Zhongli,” Paimon giggled while Aether fought the urge to facepalm.

"Paimon!" He hissed.

“Zhongli?” Although Xiao’s expression didn’t change, they could hear the question in his voice. Paimon froze when she realized she had just mentioned the archon right in front of the adeptus—one of the people Zhongli specifically told them not to tell.

“I-it's nothing! Just a...a friend!" Paimon stammered. She was starting to sweat bullets with Aether glancing nervously at Xiao.

Fortunately for them, the adeptus was never the noisy type nor did he have any interest in other people's affairs—mortals especially.

"S-so!" Paimon shouted, trying to erase the previous conversation by raising her voice up ten notches. "What are you doing here?"

“You offered your aid to Liyue in times of need,” Xiao replied neutrally. “It is only courteous for me to see you off. I will escort you to the outskirt of the city. Come.”

“Really?!” Paimon shouted in delight before shaking Aether by his arm. “With an adeptus opening a way for us, we’ll be out in no time!”

Aether nodded and hurried after Xiao.

As they walked, the blond couldn’t help but keep looking at the adeptus’ face. Xiao ignored the boy in the beginning, but eventually, he seemed to have enough of the other’s staring and finally turned to look at him.

“What is it?” He questioned apathetically.

“Ah, sorry!” Aether quickly shook his head. “It’s just…you seem happy today?”

That caught Xiao off guard. Although his face didn’t betray his feelings, his steps faltered for a split second before he collected himself.

The blond traveller briefly wondered if he said something he shouldn’t have. He just thought the adeptus might be in a good mood considering how much he was talking today.

“…Do I?” Aether wasn’t sure if that question was directed at him. In fact, he didn’t know if he was even supposed to hear it, considering how soft the adeptus’ voice was. Xiao was already looking away, eyes locked on the mountains in the distance.

“Eh? Really?” Paimon ogled Xiao, but couldn’t tell what part of the adeptus screamed happiness to her companion. “Oh, could it be because of the festival?”

“Festival?” Xiao thought back to the streets of Liyue harbour that had been rowdy all morning. “…Was that what they were doing?”

“You didn’t know about the Qixi Festival?” Aether asked. He thought for sure that Xiao would know, considering how long he had been living in Liyue for.

“You didn’t know about the story of The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl?!” Paimon gasped in bewilderment, as though she didn’t found out about this story just minutes ago.

“I have little interest in stories amongst the mortals,” Xiao stated plainly.

“Then I guess that rumour was fake after all,” Paimon grumbled, looking at Aether in disappointment.

“Well, it’s just rumour.” Aether shrugged before finally noticing something strange. They had been walking for a while now, but hadn’t come across a single monster.

No, not just that.

Now that he took a close look around the area, there wasn’t a single monster or enemy in sight!

“Where are all the monsters?” Aether couldn’t help but voice out his thought.

“Hey, you’re right!” Paimon spun around in the air. “I don’t see a single one around!”

“It is due to my Heat,” Xiao spoke up in front of them.

“H-Heat?!” Paimon squeaked, jaw nearly dropping onto the floor at what came out of the adeptus’ mouth. “Wait, you’re an Omega?!”

Aether’s eyes flew wide. An Omega?!

Then did that mean Xiao was capable of…

Aether’s eyes nearly dropped to Xiao’s stomach before he had to force his gaze back up. Thankfully, the adeptus was walking in front so he didn’t notice that small action of the traveller’s.

Aether knew about Heats and why Paimon looked so nervous. Once a year, fully grown Omegas will enter something called Heat, where they let out sweet pheromones to attract nearby Alphas and find potential partners.

After an Omega and Alpha bonded, the Omega’s Heat will then trigger the Alpha’s Rut. It was extremely dangerous to go near an Omega in Heat because that was when Alphas were most protective of their mates and will attack anyone that got too close, regardless of whatever reason they had.

But…if Xiao was in Heat, shouldn't there be Alphas around going crazy after his scent? And Omegas only enter Heat somewhere between February and March, right now was August.

Also, why would Xiao’s Heat scare monsters away? Was it because he was an adeptus?

Aether knew Xiao wouldn’t answer all of his questions, so he only asked the very last one. Xiao spared a glance at the golden-haired boy before turning his attention back to his path.

“The stronger an Omega’s pheromone is, the more attraction they will gain from Alphas. Monsters and demons could also be drawn by an Omega’s scent if their Heats are strong enough. Once mated, the Omega’s scent will be infused with their Alpha’s, changing into a smell that will be revolting to anyone that is not their mate.” Xiao stopped and turned around to face them. “This is as far as I can take you. Do not let your identities as outlanders be discovered in Inazuma.”

With that, the adeptus took off at a speed so fast that the two barely had the time to react before he was gone.

Aether and Paimon stood (float) there for a long moment before the adeptus’ parting words finally sunk into their brains.

“Wait…you don’t suppose he was saying that he’s…mated?!” Paimon shouted. “A-and his Heat! Isn’t it right on time for the Qixi festival?!”

“Then the story of The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl is actually…” Aether trailed off before the two of them shared a look.

“No way!” Paimon laughed.

“Yeah!” Aether agreed.

That was a dumb rumour after all.

As for why Xiao’s Heat was in August and not February or March...he was the Guardian Yaksha. Things must work differently for these higher beings.

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Xiao stood on top of the mountain, Aureolin eyes scanning over the landscape before stopping towards a certain direction.

Alphas can always track their Omegas no matter where they are in the world. Although Xiao was an Omega, he was a yaksha as well as an adeptus, so his senses were naturally sharper than those of mortals. Even so, he could only feel the general direction of where his Alpha was.

His Alpha was aware he was on the move and was trailing after him, tracking him for half a day now. That man was getting closer as time passed, and along with it was Xiao’s increasing heartbeat.

It had been a whole year since they last met.

Before being mated, Xiao always preferred to pass his Heat high up in the mountains where monsters and people were scarce. However, his Alpha came from a nation without high mountains like Liyue. Although that person said it didn’t bother him, Xiao still wanted him to at least feel comfortable, so he never chose a place too far off the ground.

That was why this year, Xiao decided to spend his Heat in Jueyun Karst. It was the quietest place he could think of with fewer disturbances from mortals. He had already informed Moon Carver beforehand and the moment the adeptus heard the Conqueror of Demons would be coming to his territory to spend his Heat, he all but fled.

It wasn’t anything unusual. Before mating, other adepti would flee from him knowing how tempting his scent was. Now, they fled from him for the opposite reason. Xiao leaped off the cliff, dropping towards the ground at a rapid pace while summoning his spear into his hand.

With a thrust of his spear, the earth below him shook and the camp of monsters was annihilated in a split second. Without taking a break, he darted off towards the next area with monsters. While his scent naturally repelled these monsters, it would cause an issue if any of these monsters were to run amuck and get near the few humans dwelling here.

After swiftly dealing with all the monsters in the area, Xiao found a nice location up the waterfall with a small, deserted wooden house. The house looked like it hadn’t been used in years. The woods were falling apart, but not so much that he could see the inside.

Despite being an Omega, Xiao was never picky about where he spent his Heat. Or rather, he couldn’t afford to be picky. The purpose of an Omega’s Heat was to attract a partner and reproduce. As an adeptus, Xiao’s Heat could affect all living being miles away and draw them towards him.

It hadn’t started off like that.

In the beginning, his Heat was normal. It was still stronger than human Omegas, but Xiao was able to manage to deal with it on his own. Unfortunately as the years passed, his Heat became increasingly painful. The burn of the Heat would persist for days and the amount of pheromone his body release kept doubling.

His reluctance in finding a mate only made his body even more desperate.

The only one that he could ever consult with about his Heat was Rex Lapis who was the only other Omega he knew, yet the archon couldn’t find him any solution in solving his problem other than finding a mate. And so, every year around August, a bloodbath would always be shed. Demons and monsters would swarm towards him like ants towards their prey with Xiao at the center of it all, slaughtering anything that came to him.

Xiao let out a small sigh and stared at the pond before him.

He sat down on a piece of fallen log in front of the house and stared at the beautiful scenery. Despite being summer, the leaves in Jueyun Karst were always in the shade of autumn—just like Moon Carver.

Xiao loosened his collar, pulling them apart to reveal the scent glands on the base of his neck—one on each side. Both of his glands were marred with scars his Alpha left when he bit into them a thousand years ago. He rubbed his fingers absentmindedly over the jagged scar and began reminiscing the past.

The day they met was when Xiao’s Heat was at its worst. Having gone a thousand years without finding a mate, his body was finally breaking down.

Even without the countless demons surrounding him, he was dying.

His Heat had tortured his body for a whole month with no signs of going away. Every single one of his nerves was screaming in pain from the burning sensation coursing through his body. He didn’t even notice when a demon had raked its claws through the flesh on his back because he could no longer tell apart the pain.

His sight was starting to fail him, but that didn’t stop Xiao from piercing his spear through one demon and another. He might be dying, but he wasn’t going down without a fight. Even without his sight, he could rely on the rest of his senses to kill the demons.

And that was when he met him.

The man was not an adepti, but a human that gained immortally. He was a scholar travelling in Liyue to study the demons when he came across the battlefield littered with corpses of demons and monsters.

Xiao had little memories of how their encounter went. What he did remember was attacking the Alpha when he broke through the walls of demons and came towards him. Their spears met in a dangerous dance with whirlwinds of fire twirling around them.

The adeptus was fully prepared to meet his end, but when he woke up, the pain in his body was gone along with his Heat.

On his scent glands were two fresh bite marks, forever bounding him to an Alpha from another nation.

Xiao held no resentment towards the other Alpha for marking him because he knew that Alpha had done it to save him. In a way, that Alpha was also a victim because to complete the bond, the Alpha needed to let Xiao mark him as well. With his scent gland injected with the adeptus’ pheromone, he will start to experience Rut in August which only Xiao could sate.

Neither of them was the romantic type nor did they ever thought that one day they would have a mate. The two of them easily came to an arrangement for the Alpha to come to Liyue every year so they can spend their Rut and Heat together.

For the first couple of years, their relationship where purely on a physical level. Even now, Xiao didn’t know at what point did that changed. Words of love were never exchanged, but their relationship naturally shifted to that of lovers. Perhaps it was because they were similar that they understood one another without the need of words, or perhaps it was due to the bond established between them.

Whichever it was, Xiao was never more grateful.

The adeptus walked up to the house. With a wave of his hand, he sent a blast of wind into the old structure. He held back his power, but some shingles were still blown off from the force. He leaped back when a fume of dust blew out from the windows and doorway. He sent out a couple more blasts of wind until all the dust was blown out.

He walked into the house, looking around to find a table and a couple of chairs in the corner of the dining room. When he walked into the bedroom, he saw a bedframe weaved with bamboo. It was old and broken around the corner, but sturdy enough to support two people.

He ran his hand along the hard surface of the bamboo bed. It wasn’t the best, but this will do. Xiao lay down on the bed and closed his eyes. He was worn out. Running from Liyue Harbour to this place had taken some toll on his body, considering how much energy his body was already consuming to prepare for his Heat.

He bit the inside of his cheek when he felt tightness in his lower abdomen. Xiao stared at the wall of the small house. Although he could guess the general direction of his mate, he couldn’t tell how close or how far he was. He didn’t want to miss out on meeting his mate, but at the same time, he didn’t want his mate to see him so vulnerable.

In the end, exhaustion won and Xiao decided it should be fine if it was only a quick nap.

All he needed to do was to wake up before his mate arrives. It should have been easy, considering how he was a very light sleeper, but Xiao forgot to take into account how badly his body and mind missed his Alpha. He had forgotten how safe it felt knowing his Alpha by his side.

By the time he woke up, everything was pitch black around him.

Xiao took a deep breath and his lungs were filled with a comforting scent that only one person in this world has. He sat up and found a dark brown cloak draped over his body. He stared at the cloak, running his finger through the soft fabric before finding the familiar brown and blue animal ears decorations on the top of the hood. Behind him where his head was resting was a leather bag acting as a pillow for him.

Xiao brought the cloak up to his nose and took a small sniff. His Alpha’s scent was practically drenching the fabric, meaning the other must have been wearing this cloak not long ago. It was no wonder he didn’t wake up. With the Alpha’s scent wrapped around him like this, his body naturally deemed the surrounding safe and he ended up falling into a deeper slumber.

Xiao folded the cloak up and set it on the bed before walking out of the hunt. When he stepped outside, he was greeted by the backside of a person dressed in the same cloak as the one that was draped over him. The person had his hood pulled over his head with that pair of pointed ears sticking upward.

“You should sleep a bit longer,” the man spoke in a euphonious voice that made Xiao trembled. The Alpha never once turned back to look at him. His sun-kissed hand came out of the large sleeve of his cloak, picking up a stick lying by his feet and began to rearrange the campfire woods, causing the flames to burn even brighter.

The yaksha walked up to the man and sat next to him on the log with inches of space separating them.

“You should have waked me up.”

“You seemed like you needed rest,” the Alpha replied, turning his head to reveal his snow-white hair and beautifully sculpted face. That single flame red eye gazed at the Omega before turning back to the campfire. “It’s not like you to travel before your Heat like this.”

Although it sounded like the Alpha was merely stating a fact, Xiao knew the other was concerned.

“I was seeing someone off,” he explained.

Though curious, Alpha didn’t ask or push the Omega for details. He picked up a ladle and stirred the thick soup in the pot. Xiao stared at the brown soup that would never exist in Liyue and could smell the aroma of lamb being cooked inside. He remembered this soup. His mate made it for him the last time they met and he quite enjoyed it. If his memory was correct, it was called Torly.

While Xiao preferred lighter food and vegetables over meat, the coming of Heat would always make him crave higher calorie food so his body could store up energy.

“Do you need assistance?”

“No, just sit there and rest.” The Alpha reached into the sleeve of his cloak and pulled out a small box.

Xiao immediately recognized the packaging and design of the small box. It was a takeout box from Wangshu inn.

“Eat that for now. I’ll be done soon.” He set the box onto the Omega’s lap before returning to the task at hand.

Xiao carefully opened the box and just as he expected, inside was Almond Tofu. He stared at the beautiful and glossy white pudding with the light aroma of almond drifting into his nose. The Omega could tell how carefully the Alpha was when transporting this from how the delicate dessert wasn't broken or deformed in any ways.

“Thank you.”

He picked up the small wooden spoon inside and scooped out a small piece of the pudding. He put it into his mouth, enjoying the silkiness of the texture melting around his tongue. He ate slowly while observing his Alpha work, unaware of how his eyes would soften whenever he gazed upon this man.

After another ten minutes or so, the Alpha was done. He finished wrapping up the wrap in his hand and handed it to Xiao.

“This is?” Xiao accepted the wrap, looking at it curiously.

“It’s called Shawarma.” The Alpha poured the thick soup into a bowl and set it in front of the Omega.

Xiao took a bite into the wrap. Like all food his Alpha made for him, it had an unusual taste that did not exist in Liyue, but was delicious nonetheless.

The two of them ate with the only sound around them being the crackling of fire and the burbling sound of waterfall. They ate enjoying the presence of each other and the serenity around them. Even though they were both taking their time, their dinner only lasted about half an hour before it came to an end.

Xiao was gazing at the stars, lost in his own mind when his Alpha suddenly called out his name.

“Xiao.”

The Omega turned his head and saw his Alpha holding something to him. Without questioning anything, he opened his mouth and allowed the Alpha to push the glistening round bun-like thing into his mouth. Xiao’s mouth was soon filled with overwhelming sweetness that made him hummed lightly.

The adeptus cared little for sweets and like all citizens of Liyue, he wasn’t good at handling anything overly sweet. The only exception was during his Heat, where sugar became something like comfort food to the Omega. He chewed on the dessert and realized it was some sort of bread. The entire thing was soaked in the sweet syrup which made Xiao wonder if the dough was cooked together with this syrup or was the syrup added in later. Distracted, Xiao didn’t notice his Alpha move until he felt fingers wrapping around his chin, turning his head around before a pair of lips pressed against his.

Xiao closed his eyes and leaned forward, parting his lips to allow their lips to better mold against one another. Their tongues were tangled in a dance with the Alpha stealing the remaining sweetness from his mouth.

“Cyno…” Xiao managed to call out his Alpha’s name before a hand slipped behind his head and his lips were sealed once more.

Xiao let out a small, muffled groan against the Alpha’s mouth. The restriction he put around his desire was slowly starting to crumble. He wrapped his arms around the Alpha’s neck while the Alpha’s other arm snaked around his waist.

The last distance between them was gone and their bodies slotted together perfectly as they kissed.

He missed him.

He missed him so much, but there was nothing they can do. They have responsibilities to their own nations so neither of them could risk leaving for too long. The distance between them also didn’t allow them to meet up frequently. The only time they could meet was during this time so they could spend their Heat and Rut together. They may have met a thousand years ago, but even mortal couples had spent more time together in a lifetime compared to the two immortals.

“Ah…!” Xiao’s head threw back when the Alpha dug his face into his neck, pushing aside his collar and bit down onto his scent gland. Xiao’s face instantly flared up in red. Despite not displaying it on his face, he was embarrassed upon realizing he had left his collar open.

Sumeru was a very open nation where Alphas and Omegas walk around showing off the scent glands on their necks—Xiao knew that much from how his mate dressed. However, in Liyue, scent glands were regarded the same as private parts. Going outside with their scent glands shown was the same as going outside stark naked.

Cyno hummed, his voice sending vibration against the sensitive gland which in turn made the Omega’s body quiver.

Xiao hastily pulled away from Cyno and closed his collar, much to the Alpha’s amusement.

“You looked like you have something on your mind,” Cyno pointed out. It was an off-handed remark, but Xiao realized his mate must have taken notice to his change of mood and decided to lighten him up.

“It’s nothing,” Xiao was turning his head away when his chin was caught by the Alpha once more. His head was guided back, cobalt yellow eyes meeting orange-red one. The Alpha didn’t say anything and silently stared into Xiao’s eyes.

Xiao felt his throat constricted before he reached his hands up and carefully took hold of the Alpha’s face. He brushed that long white bang aside to reveal the other eye hidden underneath. He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss upon the scarred eyelid.

“There have been many things happening lately,” Xiao sighed. He slipped out of the Alpha’s arms and returned to his seat next to him, but now the distance between them was gone. Their shoulders were touching and their bodies so close that they could feel each other’s body heat.

“I’ve heard about Rex Lapis on my way here.” Cyno stared at the scenery before them. “Do you believe that the God of Contracts has died?”

“I don’t know,” Xiao admitted quietly. Deep down, he believed that Rex Lapis was still alive. Killing an archon was no small feat but then again, it wasn’t impossible either. “I have never imagined a future without Rex Lapis, so such situation still feels surreal to me.”

“Then perhaps you’ve been taking your archon for granted.”

“Perhaps.” Xiao wasn’t angry by his mate’s blunt words. It was true. He had been taking the archon’s existence for granted.

They all had.

All of them assumed everything will remain the same year after years. With Rex Lapis around, the mortals of Liyue never truly paved their own path. They have always been following the path given to them by their archon.

“How long will you be staying?”

“I took a month off from the Academia.”

Xiao nodded. Taking away the travelling time, it will be eight days.

“…How’s your body?” The Alpha asked after a moment of silence.

“There is still a bit of time,” Xiao said after closing his eyes to check on the condition of his body. Even sitting here, he could feel his body heat steadily rising. His heartbeat had started to quicken too, though Xiao didn’t know if that was due to the heat or the presence of his mate.

“Come to think of it, there might be something that will interest you.”

“Oh?”

“A traveller came to Liyue not long ago…” Xiao began retelling his story with the blond outlander from Mondstadt. Cyno listened as his mate told him everything—from their very first meeting at Wangshu Inn to the chaos that happened in Liyue then the Lantern Rite.

“So the person you were seeing off was this traveller?” Cyno inquired when Xiao finished.

The Omega nodded. “The boy is capable of using Geo, but I see no Vision on his body or those devices from Snezhnaya.”

Cyno frowned. No Vision or Delusion?

Could it be archon residue? No, if it was, Xiao would have known.

“His scent was also strange.”

“How so?”

“I wasn’t certain before, but now that I’m close to my Heat, my senses had heightened. That boy did not have the scent of a Beta despite claiming to be one.” Xiao furrowed his brows slightly and recalled that smell. “It was an odd smell, one I’ve never smelled on anyone before.”

“You’re saying he’s not any of the dynamic?” The first thing Cyno wanted to say was that it was impossible, yet as a scholar, there was no such thing as impossible.

Even amongst the archons, the ABO dynamic existed. It was how their world worked—like how trees grew from dirt and how all living beings needed water to survive. Never in Teyvat had there been a person not fitted into any of the three dynamics. But if his mate claimed that someone was not Alpha, Beta or Omega, then that was most likely the case.

“Fascinating.” This certainly piqued the Alpha’s interest.

“He is searching for his younger sister. If he can safely leave Inazuma, then I’m sure he will head to Sumeru next.”

“If so, we will meet eventually.” Cyno reached out his hand and his long fingers brushed across the pale cheek of the Omega.

The Omega’s bright yellow eyes seemed to glow beneath the full moonlight when he looked back at his Alpha. Very slowly, he leaned his face towards the hand until the Alpha’s entire palm laid against the Omega’s pale cheek.

Cyno let out a small, inaudible breathe when he took in the sight of the beautiful Omega beneath the moonlight. His heart trembled like a string being harshly plucked. He leaned forward while his hand guided his Omega towards him until their foreheads eventually touched.

“Xiao, come with me to Sumeru.”

Xiao stiffened upon hearing what his mate had said. He stared at that flaming red eye that was staring back at him seriously.

“Cyno, you know that’s—”

“I do not know whether your archon is dead or alive, but one thing for certain is that the future of Liyue will be paved by humans. The demons you fought for thousands of years no longer dominate this land. From what I can see, the humans of this land are fully capable of exterminating demons in your place. The era of the adepti was over long ago, and so was your duty,” Cyno told him. “Now that the God of Contracts is gone, there is nothing binding you down. You’re free to go wherever you like, Xiao.”

“I…” Xiao shook his head and pulled away from his Alpha. There was a slight shakiness in his voice, showing just how much the other’s words were affecting him.

The adeptus didn’t know what to do. He admitted that he had wondered what the world outside looked like. He had been thinking about it ever since meeting Cyno but his responsibilities prevented him from ever thinking further.

For so long, slaying demons and vanquishing evil spirits had been his sole duty. It was the reason he existed. It was the only thing he could do to pay back Rex Lapis for everything the archon did for him.

To suddenly be told his job has ended was just…

Xiao let out a startled gasp when he was suddenly pulled towards the Alpha. His head was pushed into the Alpha’s neck and the comforting scent of the Alpha washed over him, calming him down.

“You don’t have to give me an answer now, Xiao.” Cyno muttered against the Omega’s ear and cradled him within his arms. “I will wait for however long it takes. Once you’re ready, I will come get you.”

Xiao didn’t respond. He wrapped his arms around the Alpha, fingers digging into the brown cloak and clutched onto him tightly. Cyno peppered kisses on the side of his mate’s face before his tender lips moved down the pale neck. When Xiao slowly relaxed under the Alpha’s ministrations, he started to respond with kisses of his own.

Soon, the two of them were inside the hunt with Cyno throwing his cloak over the old bed before setting Xiao on top. Xiao’s shirt was already gone with his mate kneeling between his legs, pushing him down until he was lying on his back. Through the gaps on the roof of the hunt, moonlight streamed in, hitting the Alpha and casting a faint outline around his body.

Xiao took his time admiring the handsomeness of this man. He stared at the unusual clothing exclusive to Sumeru that barely covered much of the Alpha’s body.

Cyno caressed Xiao’s cheek before he captured his lips in a deep and passionate kiss. Despite being a scholar who mostly stays within Sumeru Academia looking through books and doing experiments, Cyno was a warrior.

He was one of Sumeru’s strongest fighters and the most knowledgeable. It was only natural, for Cyno would never be able to mark Xiao amidst the battle with demons if he was weak. The Omega shivered when a palm covered in a layer of callus slid down the smooth skin of back, reaching lower and lower before slipping inside his pant.

Xiao pulled away from the kiss with a sharp gasp. His head fell back with the Alpha trailed his lips down his throat. He kissed and nibbled the tender skin before biting down on that sweet scent gland.

“Hah…!” Xiao wrapped his arms around the Alpha’s head, gloved fingers tangling into the fluffy white hair with small breathless moans escaping his lips. The Alpha’s nimble fingers slide between the creases of his buttocks and teased the sensitive opening there.

Xiao let out another small cry when the hand on his rear lifted him up with the Alpha grounding down on him at the same time. The delicious friction made Xiao clamp his legs together around the Alpha’s hips, his body trembling with pleasure coursing through every part of his veins.

“Cyno, please…” Xiao pleaded before his pants were stripped off his legs. A pair of hands grabbed him by the forearm, pulling him up until he was sitting in his mate’s lap.

Xiao wrapped his legs and arms around the man, letting out broken pants with the Alpha lightly sucking on his right nipple while his hand toyed with the other. Eventually, the stimulation became too much and he had to bring a hand up to stop the shameful sounds from escaping his mouth.

Cyno gave one last lick to the perky nipple before he reached up, prying Xiao’s hand away so he could steal a kiss from the petal-soft lips.

“Don’t hide from me, Xiao,” Cyno said seriously, pulling Xiao’s gloves off his hands to reveal the old scars hidden underneath. The Alpha intertwined their fingers and planted a kiss upon each of his knuckles in such a loving way that Xiao nearly melted.

Hearing some sound, Xiao turned to see Cyno pulling out a familiar-looking vial from the leather bag lying on the edge of the bed. The Alpha popped it open and poured half of the content into his hand.

“Lift your hips,” The Alpha instructed and Xiao obeyed. He wrapped his arms around the man’s shoulder and lifted his hips into the air. He buried his face into the Alpha’s neck and waited with his heart pounding inside his ribcage.

It started with one finger, slick with warmed oil carefully sliding inside him before joined by another. Xaio’s arms around Cyno tightened, breathes becoming laboured as those fingers slowly worked him open.

Cyno was nuzzling his face against the Omega’s silky hair while his other hand caressed the yaksha’s thigh.

“Cyno, it’s enough,” Xiao groaned, feeling his inside completely coated with the oil.

“You’re still tight.” Cyno frowned.

“It’s fine.” Xiao gritted his teeth when he felt the uncomfortable coil in his lower abdomen. “My Heat is coming. I want to feel you before my mind becomes hazy.”

Cyno didn’t argue anymore. He slipped his fingers out and dipped his head down to capture Xiao’s lips. As they kissed, Xiao heard the rustling clothes accompanied by the jingling sound of metal. And then, the adeptus felt the tip of his mate’s cock—slick with oil—pressed against his entrance.

The Alpha didn’t move anymore aside from placing small, encouraging kisses along his neck. Gentle hands rubbed along his hips and legs but did nothing to guide the Omega down onto his cock.

Xiao knew that Cyno was letting him take control, so he did. He slowly sank his body, eyes fluttering shut when the head of the thick cock slipped inside. It had been a whole year since he was last filled by his Alpha.

“Cyno, Cyno…” he called out to his mate with more and more of the cock pushing through his tight walls and filling his inside. He could feel everything—the size, the warmth, the texture of the appendage…it was torture.

“Xiao,” his Alpha panted against his neck, seeming to be trying very hard not to move by how hard he was gripping onto the Omega’s knees.

Xiao wanted more.

It wasn’t enough, so he paused to take a deep breath before slamming himself down the rest of the way. A cry tore out of his lips as the cock speared him open, pushing past the walls and kissing the deepest part inside his body. Cyno wasn’t doing any better. The sudden movement of his mate nearly made him see stars. He was panting for breaths with both hands gripping onto Xiao’s hips to hold him still.

When Xiao opened his eyes, thick droplets of tears began to fall from his eyes. They fell off his long lashes and dripped over the Alpha’s cheeks. When Cyno gazed up, his heart nearly shattered at the sight of the Omega’s expressionless face with large pearly tears falling from those beautiful eyes holding so much sadness and pain.

Cyno always loved the colour of the Omega’s eye, because it was the purest colour of yellow—ones even gold cannot produce. He leaned up and started to kiss the droplets away. He knew this wasn’t Xiao crying. It was merely his body’s reaction.

Separation for mated couples was painful, especially for Omegas. Xiao may be strong, but in the end, his body was still bounded by his dynamic. Omega needed constant care from their Alpha to feel safe, and Cyno was not able to give him that. Throughout all of the battles and nightmares the Omega had to endure, Cyno was never there for him. He had left Xiao alone in a land where even the people he protected feared him.

That was his failure as his Alpha.

“I’m sorry, Xiao,” Cyno whispered tenderly against Xiao’s lips. His words seemed to have brought Xiao back for the next moment, those beautiful eyes blinked and the tears stopped.

“Sorry, again I—” Xiao wasn’t able to finish before Cyno pressed their lips together. He wasn’t going to allow the Omega to apologize for something that wasn’t his fault.

“Hold onto me,” Cyno spoke into his ear before he grabbed the Omega’s hips and started rocking into the heated body.

Xiao released a breathless cry and held onto Cyno, moving his hip to time with the man’s thrusts. Their movements were slow and unhurried. Right now, all they wanted was to take their time and feel each other.

When they finally came, they were wrapped up in each other’s arms, listening to the other’s breathing and feeling their heartbeats overlapping.

Xiao laid his head against the Alpha’s shoulder while the Alpha traced his fingers over the green tattoo on the left side of his hip and towards the inside of his thigh. It was a tattoo similar to the one on the yaksha’s right arm—one that only Cyno had the pleasure of seeing. While Cyno took in the sight of Xiao’s tattoo, Xiao was staring down at the clothes that were still on the Alpha’s body. Whenever they spend their Heat and Rut together, Cyno would never fully remove his clothes because they never know who might come and interrupt them.

Even though Xiao’s mated scent was repulsive to other Alphas, there would still be Alphas coming to target him.

It all came down to one simple reason—greed.

While Alpha and Omegas mate for life, they were still capable of being marked a second or third time. All they needed to do was to rip the Alpha’s or Omega’s scent gland out of their necks and with a strong enough healing magic, the scent gland will regenerate. Once the scent gland grew back, it will be clean without the marks of their mate. It was a very cruel process. Having their glands tore out and losing connections with their mate would make any Alpha or Omega lose their sanity.

Due to humans and gods living so close together, the people of Liyue held their archon and adepti in high regards. Even if they fear Xiao and steer away from him, they never dare thought of getting rid of him. People from other nations, however, were a different matter. They see the adepti of Liyue as a possible weapon if tamed properly. That was why being the only Omega amongst the adepti, Xiao became their prime target.

Omegas were always weak and powerless during their Heat so adepti or not, they naturally assumed Xiao to be the same. Whenever these people make their plans, not once did they take into account of Xiao’s Alpha. Once they learned that the Omega didn’t mate with another adeptus, they thought nothing more of the Alpha other than a nuisance needed to be removed.

In recent years, idiots like these were steadily growing—especially those from a certain nation…

Xiao was lying comfortably against his Alpha when he felt a rush of heat flowing throughout his body. An animalistic whine came out of his throat which was met by a dominating growl. The sound of his Alpha’s growl caused a gush of wetness to come out of his body. Xiao’s face burned as he closed his thighs tightly together, but that did little to stop the lubricant from flowing out of his body.

The sweet scent of his Heat flowed into the air, mixing with the dominating scent of his mate’s Rut.

Xiao’s scent glands started to itch. He wanted to scratch them, but his hands were caught by a pair of tanner ones. The world before his eyes spun and Xiao was pushed into the bed with his Alpha’s heated chest pressing down on his back. His hips were pulled up and with no warnings at all, Cyno thrust himself deep inside. Xiao screamed, eyes nearly rolling back at the pleasure of being filled. He clawed at the bamboo bed, the strength of his fingers starting to tear the material apart before his hands were grabbed and pinned down.

“Cyno!” Xiao mewled when the Alpha pulled out before slamming back inside.

“Xiao, you smell so good…” Cyno sighed, sucking and licking his ear before he buried his face into the Omega’s neck and started sucking on his scent gland.

Xiao was crying from the overstimulation. He could feel the pheromones inside his glands being sucked away while his mate’s hips constantly rammed into him.

“Xiao, Xiao…!” Cyno called out his lover’s name over and over with each thrust of his hips.

“Cyno…!”

More.

It wasn’t enough.

He needed more.

More, more, more, more…

Until there was nothing of him left.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Cyno stared at the Omega sleeping peacefully in his arms.

He pressed a kiss on the Omega’s forehead, over the purple diamond marking before he slowly pulled himself out. A quiet moan escaped the yaksha’s lips, but other than that the Omega showed no signs of waking up.

Cyno rubbed his scent glands that were bruised from Xiao biting on them, releasing more of his scent so the adeptus can sleep better. He gazed up at the ceiling where the sunlight was spilling in from and shifted Xiao to the left so the sunlight wouldn’t hit his face.

Xiao needed rest—they both do. As much as the Omega’s scent was constantly tempting him, Cyno wasn’t some weak Alpha who would allow his desire to take over. He laid his head over his backpack and closed his eyes for some sleep as well. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to join the Omega in his dreams for the next moment, his eye snapped wide open.

Cyno shot up and moving together with him was Xiao. The Omega was staring towards the same direction where the Alpha sensed the intruders. Cyno hissed out a string of curses in a language that the Liyue adeptus wasn’t able to understand. Seeing the confusion swirling within those pure coloured eyes, Cyno shook his head and pushed the Omega back down.

“Go back to sleep, I’ll take care of them.” He wrapped the Omega’s naked body up in his cloak and climbed off the bed.

Although he didn’t show it, Cyno was livid. No Alpha liked having their time with their Omega interrupted—especially during Heat and Rut. Even more so when these people came intending to take his Omega away from him.

He pulled out his Anubis mask and put it on his head. In the span of this short moment, the house was already surrounded. A ball of flames gathered in his palm before the Alpha shot it upward, blasting a hole in the roof and leaped outside. When he landed on the loose pieces of shingles on the roof, he was greeted by the sight of the intruders.

Unsurprisingly, it was those Fatuis again.

Most of them were Alphas, but Cyno could easily pick out the Betas seeing as all the Alphas had to wear masks over their nose and mouths to filter out the scent of his mate. He held out his hand and his spear materialized in his palm.

“Insolent fools,” he huffed, eye turning cold with crimson flames swirling around his spear.

When Cyno returned, Xiao sitting on the corner of the bed with his back resting against the decaying wooden wall. He had put on Cyno’s cloak with his eyes closed—seemingly to be resting. The Alpha’s eye softened at the sight of his mate. The moment he got close, Xiao’s long lashes fluttered, parting to reveal those calm Aureolin eyes. Cyno put on his cloak to hide the unique Sumeruan clothes before stuffing his Omega’s clothes into his bag. After that, he went over to his mate, letting Xiao hold onto his bag while he carefully gather him up into his arms.

“Sleep, I’ll wake you when I find a place,” he spoke in that soothing voice, walking outside and stepping over the burnt ground.

Xiao leaned his head against the Alpha’s shoulder and closed his eyes with the bag held tightly in his arms.

There were many old and abandoned structures around Liyue, so finding their next logging wasn’t much task. Cyno found a decent place around Qingyun Peak and the two of them spent the remainder of their Heat and Ruts there.

Eight days passed by in a blink of an eye.

During this time, the pair roamed around Qingyun Peak before they spent their last day on the floating isle above the mountains, known as the Dwelling in the Cloud. This was a very old place created by the Cloud Retainer. Xiao was certain the other adeptus wouldn't mind them using her place, considering how she hadn't left her domain for a long time now.

The air high above the cloud was thin, but neither of the immortals was bothered by it. They sat at the ledge and watched the night sky with the cloud below them. Even though they didn’t mind the cold, their bodies were still pressed against one another, sharing warmth.

The night went by with neither of them exchanging any words.

When Xiao woke to the morning light, he knew without needing to open his eyes that Cyno was gone. The body wrapped around his when they fell into slumber was gone without any lingering warmth left.

The yaksha sat up with the familiar brown coat sliding off his body much like when he first woke on the night of his mate’s arrival.

In the place where his mate laid were four white flowers growing from a single stem.

It was a Qingxin—Xiao’s favourite flower.

He caressed the soft white petals before bringing the flower to his nose and smelled the sweet floral scent mixed with the faint scent of his Alpha.

They never meet each other with hellos and never part with goodbyes. It was an unspoken rule between them, as though doing so would seem like they had never parted to begin with.

Xiao gazed out to the land before him, golden eyes filled with loneliness and lost. He stared at the sun rising out of the clouds, not because of the view, but because that was where his Alpha was.

“I will wait for however long it takes. Once you’re ready, I will come get you.” Cyno’s voice echoed within his head.

Xiao parted his lips, but his throat felt awfully dry. He clutched onto the flower and closed his eyes. He could feel tears starting to gather, but he refused to let any fall.

“Go out and see the world, Xiao.”

“…?!”

Xiao jumped up, sharp eyes scanning over the tiny island but didn’t find anything unusual or out of the place. He brought a hand to his right ear where the voice had whispered those words to him. It was a voice Xiao was familiar with, but it happened so fast that he didn’t know if it was a voice from an old, long-forgotten memory or reality. He looked down at the flower in his hand, then back at the sun.

Suddenly, he felt like the world before his eyes began to open up—like an invisible cage slowly dissolving away. Xiao took a small step back and felt himself stepped on something. When he looked down, he found that it was Cyno’s cloak. He picked up the cloak and gazed back to the distant sky.

The lost look on his face slowly melted away. He held the cloak close before his eyes fell to the statue of Rex Lapis below.

Leaping off the floating isle, he landed before the statue. He stared at the image of Rex Lapis—the one who had saved him and given him his current name.

“I’ll be back,” he promised, setting the Qingxin flower before it as an offering. Without another glance back, he turned and leaped off the mountain. He gripped the cloak tightly in his arms and ran down the steep slope, moving at a speed too quick for mortal eyes to follow.

Xiao had never run faster in his entire life. He went from mountain to mountains, chasing after that scent lingering within the air.

As he was nearing the border of Liyue, Xiao finally saw the cloaked figure walking through the valley, carrying nothing but a brown leather bag over his shoulder.

“Cyno!!”

Cyno stopped. He glanced over his shoulder, orange-red eye wide in disbelieve when he saw the Omega running towards him. Kicking off the ground, Cyno closed the gap between them and caught the Omega within his arms.

“Xiao?” Xiao’s name fell from the Alpha’s lips in a hushed whisper, as though he couldn’t believe the Omega was here. He held onto the yaksha so tightly that ordinary people would find it painful, but Xiao was anything but ordinary.

The adeptus held onto his mate just as tightly. The tears he had been holding back finally fell from his eyes. For the first time in his life, Xiao laughed. It was a very quiet laugh, but the sound was more beautiful than anything the Alpha had ever heard.

For the first time as well, Cyno also laughed. The tears rolling down his face was no less than Xiao’s.

They didn’t need to exchange any words, for that there was never any need.

After a thousand years, they’ve finally caught each other in their arms. This time, neither of them have any intention of letting the other go.

Back on Qingyun Peak, a gloved hand picked up the Qingxin flower left in front of the statue of the Geo Archon. The dark-haired man gazed out to the horizon with a gentle smile on his lips before he turned and blinked at the sight of large white flowers obstructing his view.

The flowers waved around in his vision, pulling back to reveal a smiling Childe holding onto a bouquet of Qingxin.

“For you, the fairest of them all.”

Zhongli looked around the statue and found all the Qingxin flowers that grew around here were plucked by the former Harbinger. He shook his head with a light smile and accepted the bouquet, adding the one in his hand to them.

“Thank you,” he thanked, already thinking of whether or not he got a vase for these flowers. If not, he will have to go find one.

A jade vase would certainly fit these flowers beautifully…

He will also need to get a painter to paint down the beauty of the flowers…

“Despite living so long, you adepti are all so interesting,” Childe snickered. “These flower suits you. Both you and that Xiao.”

“How so?” Zhongli lifted his eyes to meet those light blue eyes staring at him. The raven didn’t know why, but he felt his heart skipped a beat when he saw how intensely the Alpha was looking at him.

Childe walked forward and plucked a white petal off of the flower. He placed the petal against his lips and smirked at the oldest adeptus.

“In Liyue, Qingxin means Pure Heart, doesn’t it?”

The Snezhnayan leaned forward, pressing his lips firmly against the Omega’s. Zhongli’s entire body stiffened upon the contact. His golden eyes were slowly rounding while his grips over the flowers went slack, but not so much that he would drop them.

The kiss only lasted three short seconds before Childe pulled away with a laugh bubbling from his throat. Zhong stood there, his body as stiff as a rock with a white petal sticking on his bottom lip.

“Come to think of it, I haven’t told you my real name yet so listen closely, Morax.” He leaned towards the archon’s ear and whispered the name he had left behind ever since becoming a warrior. "My name is Ajax."

#genshin impact #zhongli #childe #xiao #cyno #genshin impact fanfiction #childe x zhongli #cyno x xiao

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thiswasinevitableid · 3 years ago

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64. I didn’t know my ex moved so you find me curled up on the floor in front of your apartment door

Ot4, nsfw, please!

Here you go!

Duck didn’t mean to fall asleep in front of her cave. But there was no one home and the rock in front of it is just the right temperature to coax him down into a nap in the spring sunshine.

“Um, can I help you?”

His nose tells him the voice belongs to another dragonborn before he opens his eyes. It’s just not the one he’s hoping for. Instead of blue scales and muscle, he finds blue eyes staring down at him while black and white scales glint in the afternoon light.

“Uh, I, uh, do you know the dragon who lives here?” He didn’t think she’d move on that fast.

“I am the dragon who lives here.” The other male adjusts the satchels on his shoulders, one laden with food and the other with books, “I moved in a week ago.”

“Well...fuck.” Duck slides off the rock with a groan, “sorry, didn’t know the place changed hands. Didn’t mean to, uh, crash on your front porch.”

“It’s okay. I was hoping to meet more of our kind here.” He writes a glyph on the door and it opens, “do you want to come in? I got some nice wine from town and, um” he scratches at the stone, “no one to share it with.”

“Sure.” Duck follows him through the familiar front hall and into the kitchen. The furniture is different, all clean lines and polished wood, and there’s new art on the walls. He reads the spines on the stack of history books on the table while his host pours them each a glass of wine.

“Thanks” he takes the goblet, “I’m uh, I’m Duck by the way. It’s a nickname.”

“Joseph.” The other dragon sits across from him, “I take your...ex lived here?”

“Yeah” Duck scratches the back of his neck, “we end things a month ago but, uh, I was missin her and I, uh, I, I, fuck, nevermind.”

Joseph sniffs the air, “surprise heat?”

Duck nods, “I was kinda hopin for, uh, for a pity fuck or somethin. Fuck, that sounds pathetic.” He rests his head in his hands.

“There’s no shame in wanting intimacy.”

“Guess not. Uh, enough about me, how’d you end up here?” He prays Joseph takes the hint.

“I travel around studying humans, trying to bring a greater understanding of them to our kind. My hope is it’ll help keep the peace, since we’re less likely to fear or attack things we understand. Kepler might be the place I settle; the town is a great mixture of dragon and human cultures.”

“So you just...study everythin they do?”

“Right now I’m focusing on technology. Hence the, um, the scars.”

“Oh shit” the white zigzags and bursts that Duck assumed were simply markings are, in fact, scars, “what happened?”

“Mostly minor accidents, like you’d get cooking or gardening. This one” he gestures to the white on his cheek, “is embarrassing; I was so engrossed in my research I didn’t notice the experiment I was running was about to go haywire.”

“Ouch.” He hazards a joke, “hate to see what your hoard is like, probably, uh, shock me.”

Joseph smiles, “I don’t really have one, it’s a pain to move it every time.”

“Not even a little pile?” Duck raises a brow; there’s a magpie-ish quality to the other dragon that suggests there’s a collection hiding somewhere.

A faint dusting of gold on his cheeks, “I do have a, um, a small stack of books.”

“Can I see?”

“Of course. This way.” He leads them to the master bedroom. A wave of unwelcome nostalgia hits Duck as he enters, and he’s about to excuse himself back to the kitchen when a giggle climbs up his throat.

“A small stack, huh?”

Joseph settles on the cushions at the center of three towering bookcases, each crammed full, “I don’t have that many. I once met a wyvern who had whole hills of books. I like them like this so I can actually find things.”

“Hate to say it Joe, but this is an honest to gods hoard.” Duck kneels near him.

“Joe....huh, I like it when you call me that. Normally I hate it. And it’s a library, not a hoard.”

“If you say so. Uh huh, what’s this?” He crawls to where a pile of puzzles toys and games is hidden between the bookcases, “seems like the makings of another ho--oh hell yeah” he grabs a box, “Minotaurs Riddle, I fuckin love this game. Haven’t played it in years, lent mine to a trio of centaurs and never got it back.”

“Do you want to play a few rounds? I, um, I don’t have anything urgent tonight but if you have things to do-”

“Nah, got all my shit taken care of early in case...uh, well, you know.” Humiliation at his earlier desperation rears its head.

Joseph drags a low table over, “Then it sounds like we could both use a night off.”

Three hours and two bottles of wine later, they locked in a stalemate, Duck scanning his cards for a way to break it. He’s never had this intense an opponent before and it’s so fucking fun.

“I play the hero's spear BUT” he flips a card facedown, “on my own chariot, which opens up the way for my chimera to attack.”

Joe’s eyes flick between his hand and the board, pupils no more than slits as he concentrates. Then he sets his cards all facedown, “I don’t have a counter-move, so you win.” His grin is fairytale perfect, “that was great! And now I know your method of play so I can beat you next time.”

“You wish.” Duck doesn’t mean to growl as deeply as he does.

“It’s not a wish, it’s a promise.” Joe boxes up the game without ever taking his eyes off Duck.

“If you say so. But if you break it” he curls his tail around to stroke black scales, “think I oughta get a prize.”

Joe’s responding click-growl is unfamiliar, could be anything from agreement to “leave me the fuck alone.” He starts to retract his tail only for Joe to close his claws around it.

“I think you should get one for your win tonight, too. You did come here in a, um, a certain state.”

“Ain’t you the polite one.” Duck shoves the table aside and prowls across the pillows, “offerin that stylish tail up for meWHOAH, fuck.” He laughs as Joe, lightning quick, lunges forward and traps him on his back.

“Sorry, I’ve been wanting to get my hands on you since you got here. Gods” he undoes the wrap at Duck’s waist with a hungry growl, “do you have any idea how hard it is to think strategically with all of this” he runs his palms up Duck’s chest, “on display. Once I’m done give your body the attention it deserves, then I’ll put my ass in the air for you.”

“You drive a hard bargain Joe, but I’ll take it.” He grins as the other dragon gropes his thighs.

“Good. Besides, this is a proven way of getting over heartbreak.”

“Think that theory might need a little more testin. So get down here and kiss me.”

------------------------------------------------------

“Interesting.” Joe taps the bottle with a claw as he studies the ship inside it, “you really don’t know how they do it?”

“No fuckin clue. I can build model ships outside bottles, but this? This is wild to me.”

“I wonder if we-” Joe raises his head, inhales, and breaks into a dazzling smile, “dinner’s here! You can come in Barclay, we’re in the sunroom.”

Footsteps on stone announce the cook, who Duck usually sees at Amnesty Lodge down in Kepler.

“Didn’t know y’all did delivery.”

Barclay sets a bag crammed with tins and bottles onto the table, “We don’t usually, but Joseph’s a special case.”

Duck spots the blush on his friend’s cheek, “Oh yeah?”

“He, uh, he lets me test new recipes on him?” Two pink patches bloom under Barclays' beard, “there’s a berry custard tart in there today.”

“Sounds wonderful.” Joe’s tail is subtly twitching, “do you want to stay a bit and eat?”

“I’d love to, but I gotta get back before the dinner rush.”

“Right, right, of course, oh, right, your tip” the dragon darts into his study, returns a moment later with a small purse of coins, “here you go, thank you so much it, I’ll be ready for our cooking lesson on Tuesday and, um, it’s always nice to see you.”

Barclay pockets the money, smiles softly, “you too, Joseph. Bye Duck, see you in town.”

Joe watches him go long after he’s out of sight. When he turns around with a sigh, Duck smirks.

“You got it bad, Joe.”

“I know.” He slumps down in a chair, “I think he feels the same way but I don’t want to make him uncomfortable. Coming out to a dragon’s lair and getting hit on, all while you’re at work? It would stress me out if I was human.”

“You pay him for those cooking lessons?”

“No. I, um, I guess I could ask him then but dragon/human relations are understudied outside of things like midnight weddings. I’m not even sure how something like sex would work, if it would work at all. The books I have on it are out of date and, honestly, most likely written by dragonborns who never had firsthand experience.”

Duck stands, circles the table to drape his arms over Joe’s shoulders and nose his neck, “You could still just ask. Learn what he likes instead of fussin over research.”

“You’re right. I’ll ask. Eventually. Maybe.”

He chuckles and nips a sensitive patch of scales, “It’s a start.”

----------------------------------

Duck’s busy in the back garden when the chanting starts. It sounds enough like an angry mob that he draws the thicket of brambles across the door to be safe before heading for the second floor and the window to the front yard.

The crowd isn’t from Kepler, people there know he isn’t much for offerings or other forms of intervention into human affairs. He inherited his position from a true dragon who was once considered a forest and weather god. It took years for humans who came to understand that while he could help them identify what was killing their orchards or blighting their fields, he couldn’t summon rain or quash frosts.

Not only do the humans out front seem unaware of those facts, they’re constructing a convoluted, cobbled-together, ceremony. There are offerings of food, but the chants have something to do with slaking his deep hunger. Which is weird, because when you offer food to a dragon it’s meant as a gesture of kinship, not fear. The music doesn’t match either of those dynamics, the robes on the elders are white, which indicates surrender in war, and the incense they’re lighting is too heady; if he eats with it in the air, all he’ll taste is myrrh.

Wait, those are the bundles of incense humans used to burn during weddings. No one’s held a midnight wedding in decades. And holding one when it’s not yet sunset is really baffling. He’s about to write it off as yet more cultural miscommunication when two men drag a bound figure, all dressed in black, out from the crowd and drop it near the door.

“Fuck.” He tromps down the stairs, peers through the thicket for a closer look. The figure is a young man, dirtied silver hair tangled across his face and shattered red spectacles on his nose. His ankles and wrists are tied, and when he tries to scoot back from the cave entrance the crowd jeers. The man looks sluggishly between the crowd and the cave. Resigned, he crawls Duck’s way.

The dragon sets a hand on the thicket to will it away and tell everyone to get lost when he scents blood beneath the incense. Members of the crowd are getting agitated, suggesting they light a pyre to hurry the process along. That’s not even remotely how a midnight wedding works, and were Duck a certain other dragon he might tell them that. Instead, he makes a gap at the bottom of the thicket, grabs an enchanted rope from his work closet, and whips it through the opening. Two seconds later he has a cheering crowd outside his house and a petrified sacrifice inside it.

He kneels, undoing his rope and the bonds. The humans brown eyes lock onto his claws.

“Please. Please just make it quick.” His voice is raw, his pleas continuous, but he doesn’t pull back when Duck cups his chin and touches his forehead.

“Fuck, you’re burnin up. Your eyes a pretty glassy too, wonder if-”

“Drugged. To keep me from running or fighting. Not like they needed to. They, they did enough before that.” He hiccups and Duck smells exactly what plants they put into the mixture. They’re meant to make the human body more pliant. More receptive.

Fuckers.

“Okay” Duck keeps his voice soft, “here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m gonna take you somewhere you can lie down and look you over. Once you’re patched up, you can rest.”

He nods as Duck scoops him into his arms, “Need my strength.”

“Yeah, but not for, uh, for what you think.” He nudges the light with his elbow, illuminating the rumpled green of his bed. When he sets the human down on it, he tucks his arms across his chest.

“Can you get your shirt off for me?”

The man reaches one skinny arm under his back, whaps it about, then shakes his head. Duck eases him upright, let’s him slump forward onto his shoulder why he undoes the eyehooks and buttons. The sight that awaits him is grim.

“Fuck, what’d they have against you?” He counts gashes from four different instruments intermingled with bruises in every color.

“Outsider. Came looking for work. Angered the wrong person.”

“They get you on your legs too?”

A weaks nod.

“I’m gonna have to slice the pants off; got a bad feelin I might re-open wounds if I try to pull ‘em free.” He runs a clawtip up the outside of one leg; the human grips him, afraid, though when he runs a thumb soothingly up a newly-bare spot, he sighs happily. Duck’s instinct is right; there are half-healed wounds now oozing blood thanks to the man being tossed about. He instructs the human to lay on his belly, fetches his bandages and disinfectant from the bathroom, and starts water for the tea that will clear the potion from his system.

When he starts on the wounds on his back the human whimpers, weakly clutching the blanket.

“Shhh, it’s okay sweet thing. Know it hurts, but you’ll feel better soon.” He runs the claws of his free hand through silver hair, undoing tangles as he goes. He is sweet; long legs and wiry arms, a face that’s odd but impossible to look away from. Duck wishes he were a worse dragon than he is; he could slip his threadbare underwear down and relieve the effects of the potion another way. Instead he patches and cleans, tips tea between parched lips, and finds one of his smaller robes to protect the skinny frame from falls oncoming chill. When he’s done, the young man is asleep. So he draws the blankets up and goes to sleep in the garden.

---------------------------------------------

His body feels like it’s been through a wine press. No doubt a result of the dragon “marrying him.”

No, wait. He’d taken him to bed, run his claws tenderly through his hair, but then he’d tended his injuries and let him sleep unmolested. Indrid rubs his forehead, wishing his foresight hadn’t been so weakened by his weeks in jail; it would be nice to know if this is a sign the dragon is harmless or if he just prefers his food uninfected.

The bedroom door slides open and a scaly figure walks in, nose firmly in a book. It’s not the same dragon as yesterday; this one is sleek, with midnight scales and long, narrow horns. The one who tended him was bulkier, with scales like a forest viewed from above, dozens of greens and golds melding together. His horns were shorter, Indrid remembers because in his fevered state he wanted to rub them. They looked soothing to touch.

“Oh, good morning.” The dragon closes his book, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. I just came in for some scale oil and I’ll be out of your hair.” He grabs a purple bottle from a shelf.

“Wait, please.” Indrid struggles to sit up, “can, can you tell me what’s going on?”

“We were sort of hoping you could enlighten us. From Duck’s description, your delivery was so garbled he couldn’t figure out what they wanted. Or, um, it was clear what they wanted done to you, but not why it should be or why they chose him.”

Indrid’s about to answer when a second voice drawls, “Joe, you better not be pesterin our guest with questions.”

The black dragon looks over his shoulder into the hall with a sly grin, “He asked me first.”

“Uh huh, a likely story.” The green dragon, Duck, steps into the room, pausing to kiss Joseph’s cheek. Oh gods, Indrid understands now; he wasn’t fucked or eaten yesterday because Duck was waiting to share him.

“Since you’re up we can--whoa, whoa what’s wrong?” Duck kneels by the bed as Indrid tries to scramble backwards.

Joseph sets his book and bottle down, “You still think you’re dinner, don’t you?”

“Wh-why shouldn’t I?” Indrid pulls the blanket up to shield himself.

“For starters, we don’t eat humans. And we sure as hells don’t fuck ‘em without them bein’ real eager. Even then, some of us stall.” Duck gives Joe a pointed look, “beyond that, someone dropped you here after torturin you. You need lookin after more than anything.”

“We should get these fixed too” Joseph picks up his shattered glasses, “I might have what we need in my workshop, or we could go into Kepler-”

“We’re near Kepler? Thank the gods.” Indrid slumps against the wall, “It was the last place I stopped before things went south. I should have just stayed there. Instead I got it into my head to keep travelling, find an enchanter to train under and got...well, you saw.”

Duck carefully sits on the bed, as far from Indrid as possible, “Yeah, I did. I promise, nothin like that’s ever gonna happen to you again.”

“And if you’re interested in learning magic, most dragons have some. I’d be happy to share what I know if you’re willing to assist in my research.”

“That means makin sure he don’t fall asleep too close to his experiments.”

Indrid has no idea what those experiments might be, but he decides he’s very willing to find out.

----------------------------------------

Voices echo from the back garden, so Barclay curves left instead of going to the front of Duck’s home. Joseph asked him to bring his next few meals here since he’s helping Duck with an “unexpected house guest.”

He’s anticipating another dragon, almost drops his cargo when he sees how wrong he is.

“Indrid?”

“Barclay! I, when Joseph mentioned we were getting dinner from town I hoped it was the Lodge but seeing you is better still.” The other man is in a thick sweater and is wearing one of Duck’s wraps as a makeshift skirt, “I’d get up to hug you but I’m a bit weak at the moment.”

“I got you.” He sets the bags down and leans in for an embrace.

“I’m glad you fellas know each other.”

Barclay remembers burying his fingers in fine, silver hair while Indrid kissed him and worked his clever fingers inside him, promising he’d make him feel wonderful. He did. Every time.

“Yeah.” He blushes, spots Joseph registering this information and--knowing him--storing it away for later.

He was already making frequent trips to see the dragons, but as weeks give way to months he finds that whenever he’s not working, his feet ache to wander up into the hills.

Tonight, he and Joseph made dinner for the four of them (Indrid’s taken up residence in Duck’s home, and the dragon seems deeply uninterested in making him move). The dragons are on dish duty, so he and Indrid wander back to the library where Joseph has lit a fire.

“You really ought to tell him how you feel.”

“Is it that obvious?” Barclay fiddles with the bracelet on his wrist.

“Very. Then again, I know what desire looks like on you.” Indrid bumps their shoulders together playfully.

“But he’s, uh, he’s got Duck. He wouldn’t want a human, no matter how much we like each other.”

Indrid wordlessly moves to the bookshelves, smile widening as he finds a tome bound in blue leather and brings it back to the rug, “I found this when I was fetching books for him the other day.”

“Holy fuck” Barclay stares at the drawings, faded and labeled with draconic runes but undeniably that of a dragonborn fucking the living hells out of a very happy knight.

“I believe it tells the story of a knight who agrees to take a fair maiden's place as an offering and ends up enjoying his new station in life. It’s clearly been read often, though the anatomy is off in places.” He indicates a drawing in which it’s obvious the human doesn’t have balls to go with his enormous cock.

Barclay wants to say something witty, but all he can think about is gripping Joseph’s horns while he twines his tongue around Barclay’s cock.

“Yes, it’s giving me ideas too.” In the firelight, Indrid’s uncovered, brown eyes are almost red.

“Yeah?” Barclay sets a hand on his knee, “I’m no dragon but, uh-”

Indrid leans in, kissing him gently, “While dragons have their appeal, you are what I want right now.”

Barclay lets himself be pulled to the ground and is suddenly very glad dinner required so many dishes.

------------------------------------------------------------

“I didn’t realize you’d be taking notes while you did this.” Indrid smiles, amused, as Joseph scribbles something at the top of a fresh page. They’re heading down the hall in Duck’s home, Indrid having agreed to be the subject of a very exciting day of research.

“I’m not. Not, not that I’m uninterested but, um, since I need to be able to observe everything, Duck will be the one actually fucking you.”

Indrid stops dead, heart fluttering in his chest, “He...is he just doing this as a favor to you?”

Joseph smiles, shakes his head, and Indrid understands that he was reading all the times Duck looked him over with those green eyes correctly.

They reach the bedroom and step across the threshold wearing twin expressions of confusion; Duck forgoes nesting in favor of a bed, but the mattress, a dozen blankets, and every pillow in the house are now on the floor, the dragon busily arranging and rearranging them. Then he sniffs the air and turns, pinning Indrid to the spot with a toothy grin.

“Why the nest?” Joseph drags a chair across the floor and positions it between the pillows and the fireplace.

“Dunno, ever since you told me that today was the day, I’ve had the itch to build one. Gotta make sure you’re comfortable, sweet thing.” Duck holds out his hand and Indrid reaches for it.

“Not yet. Indrid, please undress so I can make some notes.”

“You’re killin me here Joe.” Duck growls as Indrid moves towards the chair, peeling off layers until he’s naked. Joseph scribbles some notes. Indrid would feel like a scientific specimen were it not for the way the pupils in those blue eyes dilate each time he looks at him.

“I just need some measurements.” He pulls a ruler from the pocket of the notebook and kneels down, gingerly taking Indrid’s cock in his palm.

“I, I should mention that is generally frowned upon when it’s just humans.” Indrid squirms as hot breath skates up the sensitive skin.

“Humans are touchy about size.” Duck adds, settling his claws on Indrid’s hips from behind. He’s good foot and a half taller than the human, which always makes Indrid feels safe in his embrace; those have been more frequent these last few weeks, Indrid using the cold weather as an excuse to cuddle with the living furnace whose home he shares.

“Hmmm, if they have less genital variation than dragons, I could see how size would become the point of competition.”

“Variation?”

“Dragons got all kinds of set-ups” Duck grinds against Indrid’s ass, “Joe and I happen to have the same kind, where we can lay in someone and get, uh, laid in if we want.”

“Laying?” Indrid squeaks, “I, I’m not opposed but I’m not prepared either.”

“Nah, won’t do none of that today.” Duck blows hot breath down the back of his neck, “if you want, we can try some other time. Can even let Joe take notes. And if he’s good” Duck rests his chin atop Indrid’s head and looks down, “I’ll even save some for him.”

Joseph’s head snaps up, eyes wide, and for an instant Indrid expects to be sandwiched between two dragons, which sounds deliciously warm. Then Joseph collects himself, “Yes. I’d, um, I’d like that. But for now, I need one more measurement” his tongue flicks the air near the head of Indrid’s cock, “may I?”

“Please. Ohhhhhhhyes” He moans as Joseph licks his shaft, “that’s lovely, so veryOHgods” he bucks his hips as Duck digs his claws into the meat of his thighs.

“That’s very helpful, Duck, he’s getting wonderfully hard.”

“I aim to please. Now hurry up before I start fuckin him here and fuck up your data.”

“Just a second..there, done. Duck, please kneel, Indrid do the same but keep facing me.”

“Yessir.” Duck pulls them both to the floor. Claws spread his ass open and the tip of one pokes the base of the plug he put in earlier, “heh, you let Joe help you with this?”

“N-no” Indrid cranes his neck back for a kiss.

“I didn’t want to overstep.” Joseph replies matter-of-factly.

Indrid runs his mouth along Duck’s jaw, “next time I’ll make him warm me up with his tongue before putting it in.”

A moan from the chair as Duck rumbles, “good thinkin, he’s fuckin incredible with his tongue. But you better let me watch.”

“Of course.”

Fabric shifts behind him and then Duck’s wrap falls to the floor. The plug joins it and then a solid, ridged cock is teasing his cheeks.

“You ready, sweet thing?”

“Yes.” Indrid pushes his ass back, whines when only the first half-inch is pushed in.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get the whole thing. Just gotta go slow, don’t wanna hurt my mate.” Duck pauses, “huh, sorry, that just came out.”

“I don’t mind.” Indrid sets his hands on top of the dragon’s.

“Fascinating.” Joseph scribbles more notes.

“You like the idea of bein my mate?” The question is shy, Duck hiding his face in Indrid’s neck.

“So very much. You make me so happy, Duck, you take such good care of meEEEoh, oh I see.” He snickers as Duck thrusts shallowly and laps at his throat, “you like being a good mate, don’t you sweetheart?”

“Fuck yeah. Wanted to, to do this months ago, wanted, when they gave you to me I wanted to climb into bed with you, fuck you sweet and slow and tell you nothin was gonna hurt you now, that you were all mine, keep this cute little body safe under the covers. Under me.” He thrusts several inches at once and Indrid moans, bounces in his lap in search of more, Duck click-growling each time he pushes down.

“Please, please, I want it all, Duck, pleasepleaseAH, AHhnnnngods” he grabs Duck’s arms as they wrap around him, the dragon bottoming out with a groan.

“Holy shit.” Joseph stares at them, and Indrid follows his gaze down to his lower belly, where the outline of Duck’s cock is unmistakable.

“Oh I like that a great deal.” He whispers, biting his lip as the outline slowly moves.

“Me too. Fuck, fuckin love how small you are, you barely fit on my dick and you’re still beggin for it.”

“How could I not?” Indrid purrs, relaxing against Duck’s chest, “this is going to sound very silly, sweetheart, but please, please” he tips his head up to kiss Duck’s chin, “take me?”

A tender, deep purr, then “anythin’ you want, sugar.”

Indrid lets his mouth fall open, spilling moans across the floor as Duck fucks him with abandon. It’s so much, almost too much, but it’s all he wants, to be taken and cared for by the magnificent, loving creature behind him.

The stretch and drag of Duck inside him is so intense he barely registers his own orgasm, though he cums hard enough to splatter some on Joseph’s leg. Then he’s holding on and whimpering as Duck spills into him, hotter than a human and so plentiful it drips down his thighs before the dragon even pulls out.

“Got what you need?” Duck pants, still holding Indrid to him.

“Yes.” Joseph is purring, gaze drinking in the two of them.

“Good. C’mon, sweet thing, let’s do see how my nest holds up to me mating the fuck outta you.”

-----------------------------------------

Duck said it was fine to use the glyph to come in without knocking, so that’s what Barclay does. He sets the cake he made in the kitchen, wanders down the hall in search of the others. They weren’t at Joseph’s, so odds are good they’re here. Muffled voices direct him towards the bedroom, but when he arrives his libido kicks all sensible thoughts from his mind.

There’s a giant mound of cushions on the floor, at the middle of which he can see Duck’s tail, the spines of his back and, occasionally, his head. Indrid’s feet and calves are just visible, so limp he’d worry he was asleep except for the little moans he knows quite well. And sitting by the fire, watching the scene with an obvious tent in his lap, is Joseph.

Two scales snouts snap up into the air. Duck notices him, whispers something to Indrid, who waves and then pulls the dragon back down. The same can not be said for Joseph, who is licking his lips like he’s just seen a gourmet meal.

Barclay smirks, moves to the chair but stays standing, stroking one horn as he does, “I’m not interrupting research, am I?”

“Um” Joseph’s cheeks go golden, “yes and no. I, I really was making notes at first but for the last hour it’s been, um, hard to focus.”

“Wonder why. Wait, holy fuck, they’ve been doing this for an hour?”

“One hour and twenty-four minutes.”

“Knew Indrid had stamina but that’s impressive. Uh” he trails a finger up Joseph’s leg, scales as smooth as he’d hoped, “how long have you been dealing with this?”

“Most of that time.” Joseph’s breath catches charmingly as Barclay straddles him.

“Babe” he kisses the warm column of his neck, stopping to pay special attention to each scar, “I know you’re dedicated to your work, but I’m pretty sure they’d let you join them.”

“I didn’t want to be rude.”

“My polite dragon” Barclay nuzzles his cheek, “you still deserve to be taken care of, you know that, right?”

Joseph nods, tips his head to the side so Barclay can nibble his throat while undoing his wrap. What he finds is spectacular; a pointed cock with circular ridges and, beneath it, a slit just begging for his tongue to tease it. But since he’s not done kissing him yet, he adjusts his balance so he can close one around the shaft and slide the fingers of the other into the slit.

The dragon makes a series of hurried clicks and growls, throwing his arms around him and kissing his face, “Barclay, you, you’re so wonderful, I never thought you’d want this, ohgoodgods.”

“I do, babe. I wanna know what my whip-smart, handsome dragon likes, wanna make you come apart” He squeezes lightly and Joseph growls.

“I did not wait this long to cum on you while you’re clothed.” Clawed hands grip his ass as Joseph stands and carries him to the nest on the floor, dropping him into it with uncharacteristic carelessness. Which he then remedies by methodically removing Barclays clothes and folding them into a pile.

“Mmmm, hello dearest.” Indrid turns his head to kiss him as Joseph rolls him to face the other two.

“Hey. Gotta say, you look really good like this.”

“Damn right he does.” Duck’s hips stutter and Indrid squirms happily, “heh, shoulda known Joe would pick that for you. He’s got a thing for thick thighs.”

“Huh? OH! Ohfuckyeah.” He moans as Joseph manhandles him to thrust his cock between his thighs. Teeth nip his neck as golden pre-cum streaks his skin. The scales of his cock rub wonderfully on the base of Barclays own, and soon he’s so hard he’s ready to promise Joseph anything he wants for the chance to cum.

Cool, human fingers encircle his shaft. Indrid grins, “I may not be able to move much, but Joseph seems to be more than capable of getting you to fuck my fist.”

Barclay dips his head forward with a groan to kiss his shoulder.

“You don’t gotta worry about movin’” Duck grunts, tongue darting out to Indrid’s cheek, “all you gotta do is lay here and take my cum like a good little mate whenever I say.”

“Yes, yes, oh goodness Duck please, take me, use meAHnnnnn” a whimper “so much.”

“Shhh, s’okay sweet thing, I’m almost done.”

Joseph purrs in his ear, “cum for me, big guy, cum for me while I coat your thighs and, gods, and Duck breeds your boyfriend into next week.”

“Fuuuuck.” Barclay spills helplessly into Indrid’s hand, holds tight to his shoulder and Joseph’s right arm as the dragon cums between his legs. There’s a muffled curse and an “eep” from beside him, then Duck rolls off Indrid and begins licking the humans cum from his stomach.

“I, I think you built a very sturdy nest.” Joseph curls his body around Barclay and drapes his tail over Indrid’s legs to brush Duck’s.

“Thanks, handsome.”

“I also think living with Indrid for months has made your mind assign him the position of partner, hence the nesting.”

“Makes sense.” Indrid murmurs.

“And--oh” Joseph sighs as Barclay kisses him.

“Promise you can share more theories later, babe. Right now, how about napping with your boyfriends?”

Joseph purrs deeper as they all cuddle closer, “I like the sound of that.”

#OT4: Government and their Cryptid Boyfriends #indrid cold/ duck newton #duck newton/agent stern #indrid cold/agent stern #agent stern/ barclay #sternclay #indruck #dragon au #terato

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thedreammweaver · 4 years ago

Text

Call of the Magpie part 1 (Nygmobblepot angst, trans!pregnant!Oswald)

Part 2

Warnings: emetophobia tw, pica, self harm via ingestion of harmful materials, relationship strain, dysphoria, poor mental health, spiraling, ptsd, childhood trauma

“Are you alright?” Ed asked, turning over in bed to place a hand on Ozzie’s shoulder. The shorter man had suffered some embarrassment at a meeting earlier, though he wouldn’t disclose details. Ed guessed it had something to do with him being pregnant and recently beginning to show. Oswald had been losing respect from his peers the moment news of his pregnancy had spread.

Oswald just moved away from Ed.

“If you aren’t you can talk to me-“

“Leave me alone, Edward.”

Ed retreated into himself “O-Okay.”

He was feeling a lot of pressure to be a good partner. He and Oswald had sort of rushed getting into a more serious and official relationship when they found out about the baby. They still weren’t quite used to living together like they were. Ed was determined to make this work, if his parents had taught him anything it was that never making your partner angry no matter what was the way to keep a good relationship...even if it meant suppressing one’s own feelings and being a doormat.

Oswald still felt groggy while trying to do his makeup the next day. While he was internally cursing his increased hormones for making his skin break out as he found acne to be way worse than freckles he noticed a place on the wall next to his vanity where the paint was peeling off. Before he could think to tell Olga to have it fixed he was overcome with an urge to...eat it. He’d dealt with pica due to malnutrition during his teen years and childhood, he’d thought he’d long since kicked the habit but here were those urges again. Gertrud had told him stories of weird cravings from when she was pregnant with him so he’d heard of things like this happening before. He absently picked at the wall, there was no harm in this happening a few times right? It would make a funny story like the ones Gertrud had told him, he thought as some of the paint flaked into his hand.

The dining room was unbearably quiet as Ed and Oswald ate. It was making Ed feel pressure to say the thing that’d been rattling in his mind.

“Do I make you happy?”

Oswald was so caught off guard he almost choked.

“What??”

“Do I make you happy?” Ed felt his voice shaking though he didn’t know why.

Oswald rolled his eyes “Yes, Edward. Why would you ask me that?”

“I don’t know. Things were...rushed, and I just want to make sure I’m not doing anything wron-“

Ed was cut off by Oswald’s phone ringing and the other man excusing himself from the table.

Ed was struggling to quiet his mind as he laid in bed staring at the ceiling. What if he and Oswald weren’t ready for this? He felt like he was becoming his mother, not that Oswald was anything like his father...was he?

No, he wasn’t.

Ed turned over as he recalled studies he’d seen that said children of abuse are likely to end up with abusive partners, what if that was happening now? No, it wasn’t, it couldn’t be. Paranoia was creeping into Ed’s mind and distorting what he knew to be true. Oswald loved him, he would never hurt him like his father did, so why couldn’t he let himself feel safe? Why couldn’t he let himself believe it? His thoughts were interrupted by Oswald getting up and running to the bathroom followed by the sounds of retching.

“I could make you something else.” Ed offered as he helped Oswald get cleaned up. “No, no, it’s fine. I’ll do it myself.” Oswald mumbled, getting off of the counter and walking out of the bathroom. Ed turned around to a spot by the toilet where Oswald had missed. Inspecting a partner’s vomit would be weird, Ed was just going to clean up so Os didn’t have to worry about it. But there was something weird, it looked like paint chips? Ed shook it off. Inspecting was weird, just clean.

Oswald had intended to make actual food but was distracted by papers on his desk in the study, he’d meant to throw them away earlier. He padded into his office and picked up one of the papers. He bit his lip as the thought to eat it came into his mind. He shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t but..he did.

“You’re quiet today.” Lee commented as she finished checking up on Oswald.

“I’m allowed to be quiet, aren’t I?”

“Yes, but quiet isn’t your usual state, I associate you more with screaming.” She chuckled before turning to a more serious tone “Are you okay, Oswald? You can tell me if you aren’t. Pregnancy is hard enough I can’t imagine how much harder it is coupled with being trans-”

“Yes.” Oswald said sharply “I’m fine. I just had a question...”

“Of course, what is it?”

“I...is it normal for..is it normal during pregnancy to want to eat things? I mean..inedible things?”

Lee’s brow furrowed “Are you-“

“Oh, no, I’m not asking for me. My mom- she told me about wanting to eat clay while she was pregnant with me,” Oswald chuckled “I’ve just been wondering about that lately..”

“Uhh, well, pica during pregnancy isn’t unheard of. I’m not an expert on this but the most common...uncommon cravings I’ve heard are like you said clay, rocks, dirt, ice..I think chalk was one. Anyways, I wouldn’t jump to thinking something’s horribly wrong if you start feeling those cravings, but maybe consult me before you put any rocks or dirt in your mouth.” She joked.

“Thank you, Lee.” Oswald said absently.

Lee hadn’t said anything about consulting her before eating glue which is what he was currently sneaking once Ed and Olga were asleep. He was starting to not feel good but he didn’t feel good because of something he had control over, instead of stupid embarrassing things the pregnancy was causing. He was completely and totally in control.. or so he hoped.

#oswald cobblepot #edward nygma #nygmobblepot

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sailorquinn · 4 years ago

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『 hunter schafer. twenty one. trans girl. she/her. 』 oh heavens, is that SAILOR QUINN from MAIN STREET i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them - GREEDY & - IMPULSIVE. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool WAITRESS AT SUNRISE DINER AND LOCAL PSYCHIC and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been + WARM & + QUICK WITTED. i hope i see them around again! 『 pepper. twenty four. est. she/her. 』

ABOUT THE MUN. the 2000 claymation film chicken run radicalized me hi, hey, hello, everyone my name is pepper and i am at work 😔 but i am also currently slacking off from work to write this 🤠 we love to see it. the duality of man. a bit about me is that i would lay my life down for hunter schafer !!! i am so excited to finally play her this has been my dream since i laid eyes on her,,, that and to take her hand in marriage but i digress. fun fact number 2, i have just started skins at my big age and i hate tony with a passion!!! i’ll fight that little punk i swear !!! fun fact number three, i have an irrational fear of humanoid beings with gills, looking at you sharkboy !! thanks for traumatizing me as a kid buddy, someone had to do it !! this fear also includes the deep from the boys, that weird fish guy that that one lady banged in that oscar nominated movie, and gill from kim possible. all of these fish men all my living nightmares, thank you for coming to my ted talk 😌 (honestlee,,, why is this such a common trope in media. who started this,,,why do they hate me). and finally, the most important thing you need to know about me, is that as a child i thot that god looked like king trident from the little mermaid. i think we can all relate to that, right? right. okay moving onto the love of my life, ms. sailor quinn.

BIO. winks with my third eye

everyone in mapleview knows about the quinns. the family has been here probably nearly as long as the town has and is pretty well known for their eccentrics. let’s just say the quinns were definitely, understandably, some of the first women in the history of mapleview to be accused of as being witches, an act of which they made the good ol’ mapleview history books for. this is a fact that sailor often looks back on with pride. honestly, it was one of the only things that made going to history class worth it, because despite how painfully boring the class was in general, sailor could never get tired of the startled looks of her classmates whenever her ancestry was brought up.

nowadays the quinns are arguably living a less exciting life than the good old days of being accused of sorcery. instead, they’re psychics. fortune tellers, if you will. you can find their family shop on main street, and if you’re ever feeling particularly divinely inspired you can stop by for a reading and a few charms or some crystals (they also offer sagings and exorcisms) . the third eye has actually become a bit of a tourist attraction actually, well, as much of a tourist attraction as you could find in mapleview, due to the actions of sailor’s mother.

to put it simply, sailor’s mother had plans bigger than mapleview could offer. around the time the she was eighteen she left the town for hollywood. now, you would think based in this information that venus quinn had big plans of being on the big screen maybe. or that perhaps she had the voice of an angel and wanted to sing on the radio. you would be wrong.

sailor’s mother became a reality tv show psychic. as you can guess, the psychic community loves her. that is, if love involved a myriad of curses being put on you and maybe a bit of voodoo. okay, she’s universally despised by psychics pretty much everywhere. i think it’s to be expected.

sailor was born into this legacy. as you can guess, it was a pretty heavy cross to bear. she was born into a b-list fame that meant her mother had to call her own paparazzi, that sailor herself simply had to be homeschooled to avoid the ‘mobbing’ of perhaps fifteen avid fans max, and that every morning in their grand living room her mother would let her hate mail fuel their fireplace. sailor would occasionally have her face plastered on tlc, or her voice would be heard as her mother made a ‘heartwarming call to her family at home whilst on tour’ but to put it bluntly, sailor was more of a prop in her mother’s fame than anything else. and it was bargain shop fame at best. but apparently still enough scrutiny that her mother felt the need to take her out of the public eye when she came out and began to transition.

sailor came out to her mother at the age of nine and before she could even reach the age of ten, her mother had shipped her halfway across the country to mapleview to comfortably transition in a town of strangers and in a household of people she’d only ever met at argument fueled holiday parties. her mother swore up and down that this was to make sure that sailor could transition outside of public scrutiny, so that she could have her privacy in this time and not have to deal with the media hounding her down during such a vulnerable period but sailor couldn’t help but feel abandoned by the whole situation. it felt like her mother was hiding her away, like some sort of dirty little secret. it felt like she was ashamed of her, even if the woman swore up and down that she accepted sailor as she was.

sailor moved into the top of the third eye with her her aunts and grandmother and was welcomed into this clan of women with open arms. as mentioned earlier, most of sailor’s experience with her aunts and grandmother has been brief exchanges between her aunts screaming at her mother for being a sell out, her mother hollering back about them not supporting her, and her grandmother pretending to cast a curse on her mother from the head of the dining room table. you know. normal family gatherings, but not enough for you to truly get to know somebody. but it is within the quinn women’s household that sailor finally found her footing. she finally felt like she belonged. her aunts and gram taught her everything they knew and nurtured her lovingly throughout her transition. they gave her her first job working front desk at the third eye, made the place she felt like her mother abandoned her feel more like home than her mother’s place ever had. and she is painfully loyal to them for it. when her mother finally reached out to sailor at the age of sixteen, finally inviting her back home, sailor simply refused. and she’s been here in mapleview ever since.

a few years ago sailor’s mother moved back to mapleview to attempt to repair their relationship. to put it frankly, her views were plummeting quickly, and along with feeling some amount of remorse for her deteriorating relationship with her daughter she also thought that perhaps making her show a mother daughter act would bring some of the attention back to it. sailor has pretty much refused to speak to her, but she lives around sycamore way in a large house on a hill.

despite sailor having no plans to break into the reality tv business, she really has no idea what she would like to do instead. she is currently content to just continue working at her family shop, and occasionally take up a few of the shifts at the diner as well. she likes money, and she certainly has ambitions to make more, the how is simply up in the air at the moment. honestly, life would be a lot simpler if she could see her own future.

or well, anyone’s at all.

HEADCANNONS. are you a virgin? why are you planning a sacrifice?

this is the song that inspired sailor, no i cannot explain why.

sailor’s mother name is venus (vee), her aunts name is persephone (percy), her other aunts name is circe (cece) and finally her grandmother’s name is luna. both her aunts are unmarried and her grandmother is widowed.

that said, sailor does have a father despite the fact that i didn’t once mention him djsdjk he is an artist and he loves her mother to death honestly. their relationship is almost completely based off of the relationship of cassie’s parents from skins, so yeah they can’t keep their hands off each other and sailor’s father kenneth often paints her mother nude. most of these paintings could be seen on display in her old household, so sailor really did just grow up seeing her mother butt ass naked every day. sometimes it be like that i suppose.

sailor has three black cats. she calls them the muses and their names are calliope, clio, and urania. basically, whenever there is a black cat at the pound sailor makes it her mission to them home because the stigma against black cats that keeps them from getting adopted?? wack. sailor will adopt everyone of them.

is currently still living above her family shop is kind of interested in finding an apartment to move into instead. is in the market for a roomie or like three!! all interested parties please apply.

is actually kinda a con artist. honestly, her whole family kinda is but shh, don’t tell nsdkjsdjk none of them can actually see the future but aunt percy (who says she can see the future, but honestly while sailor does believe her aunt percy is also a bit loony so sdjhsdj who knows what the truth is?) and her grandmother. cece, vee, and sailor tho?? all faking it until they make it. honestly sailor is pretty good about it, although she doesn’t actively see the future she does believe in everything she practices for the most part, and it shows. that says, since she is frankly, a magpie when it comes to money and literally anything mildly expensive she will offer rich people tarot readings without any hesitation and proceed to make the whole thing up as she goes along. if sailor judges them to be bad people (aka rude, the kinda people who don’t tip, snooty, assholes) she will give them a horrible reading to instill the fear of god in them and charge them extra for some good luck charms to ward off their impending doom. but if she likes them she will read the cards as they are and do her best to give them good advice based on her gut. her only saving grace is that she has pretty good intuition anyways, so a lot of what she says tends to be right even if it’s just shots in the dark. (her aunt cece is worse though, she looks up all her clients online before they come to see her dskjdsjk all of her predictions are educated guesses based on her research)

the type to crush and crush hard. falls in love every other week, and gets her heart broken just as often. honestly, sailor tends to fall for anyone who is nice to her, or gives her attention, or whose attention she wants. she is constantly on tinder mostly for fun. tends to treat the app more like a game than anything else, goes out on one night stands a hookups at least ??? 3 times a week. will make cast a love spell for the guy who told her to stay dry when she left the grocery store or the girl who smiled at her on the bus.

cannot drive but has a license. if you see sailor behind the wheel, duck. she drives a cute little sky blue bug though. it has eyelashes on the headlights.

colours her hair whenever she is even mildly stressed. by default at the moment it’s a pretty silvery blonde, so she tends to colour the ends often depending on her mood.

actually can sing unlike her mother, you can probably catch her at any open mic nights in town. she has a little guitar that she’s covered in flower stickers and named aphrodite.

that little frowny face florence pugh was making throughout the entirety of midsommar,,, unhappy sailor content. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

the type to go to church and pretend to be overcome by the holy spirit just because she’s bored on a sunday sdkjsdj

your girl is vegan and bisexual, we love to see it.

PERSONALITY. feeling cute today. might commit acts of hubris

CHEEKY. 99.9% of the time sailor is joking. she is the type to generally tend to be in a cheerful mood no matter what, always laughing or making a dry joke. doesn’t tend to often be in a bad mood but when she is it says something. very witty honestly, tends to be quite funny and the type to go out of her way to make someone laugh

GREEDY. sailor loves money. she absolutely adores it. she’s kind of a magpie when it comes to material things, the type to go to antique stores and thrift stores and clear them out of absolutely anything that interests her. a shameless pickpocket and minor thief, but only when it comes to large corporations or people who look like they have a summer house stashed away somewhere. definitely snatched some sort of expensive little statue from her moms place the last time she went to visit a la fleabag. is probably still looking for some place to sell it online, but honestly also kinda wants to keep it. she’s named her no head nancy and she is currently sitting on sailors desk as a paperweight

WARM. all faults aside, if you ever need something from somebody sailor is the one to go to. need a ride home from the club? sailor will come and get you in ten minutes. feeling sick? sailor will be over at your place with some vegan chicken noodle soup and a charm for good health. need someone to cheer you up? sailor is doing a chicken dance on your front porch. she is ultimately kind, and if you are her friend especially she will be there for you until death.

IMPULSIVE. that said sailor does pretty much everything she does without thinking. she is actually, surprisingly enough, a bit of a planner when it comes to life and finances, like she is pretty organized considering how scattered her personality is otherwise. but if sailor gets a whim to go somewhere or do something out of nowhere, she will do it. commitments be damned. the type to suddenly get up and leave mapleview one day to live in hawaii for a year and learn to scuba dive yk. will send you postcards tho.

this is my first time playing sailor so if this is a mess and contradictory it’s because i am too 😌 thank you for coming to my ted talk.

WANTED CONNECTIONS. god doesnt respond why should i

EXES. give. me. ANGST with this please. the more dramatic the better. it’s been a hot minute since i had a good ex connection so maybe something where they dated in high school or even more recently. where they’re trying to be on good terms but some angsty feels linger below the surface, or where they’re on really bad terms and can’t hide it. the kind of exes who keep going back to each other, or who can’t leave each other alone, jealousy, and all that good stuff yk

BEST FRIENDS. pls. i would love for sailor to have like four or five of these honestly, just a little squad. these could be here roommates!! or not!! i plan on putting in a wc for her roommates honestly, so look forward to that.

REGULAR CUSTOMER. someone who sailor is either milking dry or is just trying to reassure. she comes to their place in the middle of the night to sage the place because they swear they heard a ghost. they have a urgent skype call because they broke a mirror and want sailor to go over their future one more time to see how it’s been affected. sailor makes a lot of money off of them and either feels guilty about it or not even a little bit guilty about it depending on their relationship.

OTHER REGULAR CUSTOMER. this is someone who sailor regularly serves at the diner. rip to them because she is horrible at it. they find sailors order taking pencil in their soup. sailor is constantly getting their order wrong. sometimes she sits down with them and steals their fries as she talks their ear off. sailor is honestly probably too comfortable with them considering how bad she is at her job, but she definitely considers them friends.

A CRUSH. open to ladies, theydies, and gents! someone who sailor has a big ol’ dumb crush on. this is the person that sailor thinks of whenever she does a love reading, the person who she gazes at longingly whenever she sees them. she also probably talks their ear off whenever they see each other. big heart eyes atm, but sailor knows it probably won’t last more than a month. right?

EX-CRUSHES. that makes me think omg, i’d love to have some people sailor used to have a crush on. people she had a crush on in high school. people she had a crush on last year. just people she used to be obsessed with who she is completely over now sdkjdsjk maybe they’re friends now and sailor doesn’t know what she saw in them in the first place. maybe they’re enemies omg

OPPOSITES ATTRACT. i’d like someone really grounded to be friends with sailor. like just someone with their shit together who isn’t as airy and whimsical as her. sailor makes them loosen up a bit, and they make sure sailor doesn’t end up dead. it’s a balance.

i think that’s all i can think of for now but honestly i’d also love to see a bully sailor used to have a s child, someone who thinks psychics and astrology and everything is bs just so sailor can like !!! debate with them about it yk, someone who’s a fan of her moms show, someone who maybe comes to sailors open mic nights religiously, a neighbor maybe like just the person who lives above the shop beside the third eye and sees these women baying at the moon during the summer solstice and is like ??? fuck i gotta move, previous one night stands, fwb, ewb, uh someone who bonds with sailor over occult stuff???

#mapleviewintro #whew #this took a hot minute but here it is y'all we love to see it

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stringergames · 4 years ago

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Downtime Roleplay 2 - Graveside Manners

Post Episode 4 - One Must Die

Set right after the climactic end of episode 4. Fox and Magpie have an emotional conversation. They are joined by Farthen for an arduous task.

Spoiler warnings: revolves around major events from episode 4 of Edge of Night

Content warnings (contains spoilers): major character death; trauma; implied ptsd; references to violence; references to interparty conflict; dissociation; self-harm (scratching); grave digging & burial; references to injury (broken ribs, smoke inhilation, slashing damage, shooting); discussions of death; rats; swearing

Fox fiddles with the note in his hands, trying to pretend he hadn't heard Magpie's words. He deserved some privacy, he'd want privacy, wouldn't he? Fuck.

He crumples the note into his pocket and makes his way over to where Magpie is still bent over Jem.

"Hey, uh, Cre- I mean, Magpie? I think... I mean, do you wanna... you did everything you could, y'know? It wasn't your fault."

Magpie leans back from the body, and sits heavily on the floor, real tears mixing with and encapsulating the pewter smoke still pouring from his eyes. He looks down at his shaking hands, palms up, and whispers quietly, "It's never enough."

Fox kneels down next to Magpie and tentatively puts a hand on his shoulder. "You got her up again, like, a hundred times. If it wasn't for you, she wouldn't have even got out the door. Don't blame yourself because I dropped her, or Tiny shot her, or the house is made of knives."

Magpie flinches at the touch, and moves away fractionally. "I was supposed to be able to bring them back, I was supposed to be able to save them."

His eyes are unfocused, and it doesn't look like he quite registers Fox fully. He pats briefly at his tabard, but doesn't seem to find what he’s looking for. Magpie brings his knees up and hides his face in his hands, flinching away as soon as his hands touch his face, and opts for keeping them resting in his lap, one hand curled within the other, dragging his nails across the skin.

Fox takes his hand away from Magpie's shoulder, seems to consider his options for a second, and then flicks Magpie between the eyes.

"I know the present sucks right now, mate, but it seems like the past sucks more." He flicks Magpie again, this time on the forehead. "Now if you wanna talk about it, I'll listen, but just wrecking your hands ain't a good option. They're good hands, Magpie. Very useful, whatever you may think."

Magpie blinks, and looks up at Fox. He goes to rub his forehead where he was flicked, hesitates, and puts his hand back down. The tears on his lashes crystallise, and then melt away again.

"You –" He stops, hesitates, and looks around, before casting his eyes back to his hands. "I have good hands?"

Fox smiles, and moves back a little to give Magpie some space. "Yeah, you do! Like, the smoke blood stuff? Weird, but good! Useful, anyway, I don't want to make assumptions, but like... you, the magic you do, it's good stuff. You're a good lad to have around."

Magpie gives Fox a tiny, hesitant smile. "It is strange isn't it? I've never met another cleric whose magic does this, but..." He looks at Jem's body, and then the floor. "If it means I can help, even a bit, it's worth it, right?"

Fox looks away for a second. "Strange... can be good," he says quietly, before turning back to Magpie. "And you are helping. Loads. I mean, you got me and Princess to... well, you were right. We did need each other to get out."

"It certainly took all of us to get as far as we did. Against something like that... I wouldn't have lasted more than a few seconds." He sighs, and looks at Jem. "I just wish –" His hoarse voice gets caught on the sentence, and he doesn't try again.

Fox is quiet for a moment, struggling for words. Then he stands.

"We should do something for her. I don't know. I... I think I'll see if Tiny left that shovel out here. Are you... are you gonna be alright?"

"I'll manage." Magpie gives him another small smile. "I always do..." He hesitates, and then quietly adds, "Thank you for snapping me out of it there." He stands to join Fox, and changes the subject. "Are you really a Lord? None that I've ever met would sully their hands digging a grave themselves, not even for their own families."

Fox smiles back, and gives Magpie a small nod, though not to his questions. "I mean, what is a Lord really? I have a top hat. I have a deed to a fancy rat-filled house and a seal. My invitation to that party said 'Lord' on it. Do I have the, uh, titles or lands or family to go with it? ...Maybe not."

Magpie nods sagely. "Ah, of course. Well, ‘fancy rat-filled house’ certainly sounds familiar. I'll keep in mind the many wonderful things you have Lord Ripley, I'm sure the rest of it has no bearing on your status really."

He gives him a cheeky grin, a little overshadowed by the tear tracks still half-frozen down his face, and a tension that it hadn't been obvious he was holding around Fox leaves him.

"The elitism of the aristocracy these days is shameful, truly," says Fox, affecting a bad posh accent. "Imagine, believing one has to have lineage or money or be wearing trousers to be considered a Lord."

He snickers, and nudges his elbow into Magpie's arm, before going to look for the shovel.

"Wearing trou–?" He manages to elicit a small laugh from Magpie, who follows him, and helps find the shovel. "We can take turns, I don't think either of us have the digging capacity of Farthen, and good as it was of him to do the others, it doesn't feel right here."

"Yep, yep, good call!" Fox says quickly. He tentatively starts his turn digging, almost as if shovelling is a somewhat new concept. "I'm gonna have to think of a new nickname for you."

"New nickname? What's my current one?" Magpie tilts his head curiously.

"It's – y'know what, you don't want to know," Fox says, shaking his head. "I'll find you a better one."

Magpie sits near Fox to await his turn digging. "It's been a long time since I was last given a nickname. I'll be curious to see what you come up with."

He looks up at Fox and gives him a gentle smile.

Fox chews his lip, weighing his next words carefully. "I noticed that Jem was calling you, uh, Feathers. What did you think of that?"

Magpie considers it before he responds. "I didn't mind it, it's certainly amusing."

"I could keep it up," Fox says, keeping his eyes on the shovel. "Just for now, even. Nice legacy, I guess."

"I suppose... that sounds nice, as long as I'm still called Magpie sometimes. It's good to keep something to remember people by. Even if it's something as simple as a given name."

"You got it. Feathers it is, except when you're Magpie."

"Except when I'm Magpie." He smiles, and nods his agreement, standing up to take over from Fox. "Want to swap out?"

Fox gratefully passes him the shovel. "Cheers, Feathers."

Magpie smiles. "You may not be a Lord, but you dig like one. One could be forgiven for thinking you'd never dug a hole in your life."

Fox grins back, sheepishly. "It may be a... somewhat new concept to me. Do you dig a lot of holes yourself?"

"Not any more." Magpie starts shovelling, screwing up his face as the pain from his ribs shoots through his body, but making practiced work of digging the hole.

"If I was the sort of person who got easily embarrassed, the fact the guy with the broken ribs can dig better than me would really be making me blush." Fox sits down on the ground, and leans back on his elbows, watching Magpie work. "Fortunately, I'm not that sort of person."

Magpie chuckles slightly, and winces. “I’m glad you’re not, this is difficult enough without having to soothe your ego as well. I’ve had a lot of practice, I’m sure, given the time, you’d get plenty good enough at it too.”

"I kinda hope I don't get a lot of opportunities for practise, honestly. No offence. Let me know when you'd like me to tap back in, though."

Magpie nods. "I will, thank you. I hope there's not much more of this we have to do either. Burying someone is... never easy, even if you didn't know them well."

"It's my first time. Overall, not just digging myself." Fox chews at his lip. "From what you said back there, and your expertise with the shovel... I'm guessing it's not yours."

Magpie stays silent and focuses on digging for a few moments, not looking Fox's way.

"...It's not my first, no. I doubt it'll be my last." He breathes a heavy sigh, and tries to lighten his tone a little. "Though I have to clarify, most of my digging abilities came from farm work, rather than graves."

Fox decides to follow Magpie's lead, and not pry further. "Farm work? Glad to hear it, not sure I can totally picture you on a farm though, Feathers."

"Well, people are often full of surprises." He digs a few more spadefuls, and then continues. "It was a different time though. A different me."

"People are," Fox acknowledges, rapping his own knuckles jokingly. "Shouldn't have made any assumptions, sorry about that. Whoever you are now is fine by me." He stands up again. "Want a break?"

Farthen comes over to where Magpie and Fox are digging the grave for Jem. He says nothing, but holds out his hand for the shovel the others are using. He has tears in his eyes and lets one slowly fall, soaking into his fur.

"She was bloody annoying and arrogant, but… She didn't deserve to die. I should have tucked her legs in or something."

Magpie nods his thanks to Farthen, handing him the shovel and stepping out of the gradually deepening hole.

"No, she didn't. Don't blame yourself for this one, Farthen. I don't think it was the blades that got her. The smoke seems a more likely culprit. You can't control how you breathe when you're unconscious, she would have been inhaling it too much. I should have tried to get her up sooner, I thought I was keeping her stable."

"I guess you’re right, I suppose, but you did more than any of us could, the amount of times you got her back up." He chuckles. "Honestly though, how many times can you fall in the same trap?"

"Twice, at least," Fox replies. "Let's try and keep that the group record."

“Deal.”

Magpie nods a silent agreement, and sits at the side of the grave gingerly, hand over his ribs, watching Farthen dig.

Fox hovers at the edge of the grave, unsure of what to do with himself.

"Y'know, Tiny," he says hesitantly. "I reckon you almost did her a favour, really. If I'm ever about to die of smoke inhilation, you feel free to shoot me. It's a bad way to go."

“I’m not trying to make a habit of shooting people… well, people I know anyway."

"Glad to hear it. It was rough down there, though.”

“Didn't have any other choice, did we?"

"You do what you have to to survive." Fox glances down at the grave. "It's just sad it couldn't work out that way for all of us."

“Death waits for all of us, but when it is time, death waits for none,” Farthen says.

Magpie makes a quiet noise of derision, and stands up, moving to occupy himself with checking the contents of the basket.

"Things that deep are above my paygrade, I'm afraid," Fox says.

Written by Rowan E. Madden, Nick Drew & Nathan Godding

Edited by Rowan E. Madden

Edge of Night is a dnd 5e actual play podcast, brought to you by Stringer Games. It is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts & Acast.

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rayesketchit42 · 5 years ago

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Self indulgence here, oc fanfiction.

Set in the Ducktales ‘17 universe. Ethan Cloud

Adult content story will include or mentionings of: drinking, swearing, sex violence, some slurs.

A/n I never know how to show song lyrics in writing XD forgive me. Soft start just set where ethan is so far.

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A leaf in the wind ch. 1

A young hooded crow beat and bruised fell to the ground. Looking down at the water in the gutter beside him he spat out some blood. He looked over to the ones who who did this to him

"What, you gonna do just lie there Ethan?"

Ethan, the hooded crow grinned and got back up "Nah, I'm gonna get up and beat yo punk bitch ass next!" Ethan said as he wiped his beak clean. Popping his knuckles as he looked the other bird over. Angry and ready to let that all out and this guy was just the right punching bag.

"New places to go

I've got to leave

It's time for a show

Here I am, rock you like a hurricane

Here I am, rock you like a hurricane"

Ethan belted out, along to the song playing as he made his way into his new apartment. Putting his load of boxes down and standing in the middle of the living room taking in the fact this was his new home now. Ethan was 22 now and finally making the big step into his adulthood. Moving out from his uncles’ home, after delaying that at least one year more but he was ready now. The place wasn’t much but it had what he needed at least. A single bed room with a connected half bathroom. A small kitchen that was big enough to put a table into. And the rest was the living room area. It was a bit bitter sweet, to think he wouldn’t be waking up to the sounds of his uncle’s playfully bantering well making breakfast. Wouldn’t be the one to wake up his cousin, Damien because he was out cold from another all nighter. His time of self reflection ended when he felt a box hit him in the back, he looked back to see Damien behind him.

“Ethan!” He called out “You can’t just space out like that we're trying to get the last of your stuff inside.” the young magpie said, seeming a bit annoyed.

Ethan just turned around and took the box from him as he smiled. “Sorry got side tracked there.” Walking over to the wall of boxes he placed the new on on the top of the stack. Damien joined him and looked over the boxes labels.

“Man you have a lot of junk. CDs, movies, one epsiode recorded vhs tapes, music sheets, headphones.” He started reading out loud then stopped “Why do you have a whole box for just headphones?”

Ethan just shrugged. “I just packed up anything that was mine or Uncle Clover and Jason said I could have. Like the VHS tapes, guess they were from when Clover was younger but they are all random episodes of Mr.Rogers, or Bob Ross”

Damian was quite a moment as he looked over the boxes more. "Jeez it’s really starting to set in that your not gonna be at home anymore.” Damian said then coughed trying to cover up he said anything at all. “Just..kind of weird to think about. I mean cause you can barely take care of yourself I don't know how your going to make it past a week”

“I’m not that bad, I finally know how to make my ramen noodles the best way.” Ethan retorted like that somehow made sense to prove how much of an adult he was now.

“You still have trouble reading analog, I mean clocks with hands.”

“They are hard! Why can’t all clocks be digital now?”

“If you can’t read them why do you own one" Damian pointed out as he pulled a wall clock out from the box he had been carrying earlier.

Ethan just stared at it a moment trying to think about it, then gently rubbed at his chin as he scrunched up his brow in thought “uh so that's what they mean by time catches up to you.”

Damian just stared at Ethan in silence, he had no idea how to respond to that.

“Hey, are two already fighting? Ethan you may be moving out but I will still ground you.” Jason, a hooded crow like Ethan called out from the doorway holding a stack of boxes in hand. He was followed by a king fisher shortly after. Who was only carrying one box himself.

“Not really a fight dad, more concerned Ethan’s going to die within a week.” Damain said putting the clock away.

“Well that I can understand then. I think it’s more likely to be three days though.”

“Jason. That's not nice.” The king fisher stated as he walked over to Ethan and Damian. “Ethan worked really hard to earn enough money to finally move out, have some faith in our boy. Though this place isn't the best maybe we should wait another year for a better place to open."

"Don't even Clover you already got an extra year. It's time to kick him from the nest and fall on his own." Jason said as he set the boxes he had down.

"Don't you mean fly and leave?" Damien asked.

"Nope adulthood seems all awesome but it is the nosebleed section of your favorite bands concert but you're sitting next to a giant fan. And your next in three years kiddo." Jason said smiling smugly as he did.

"Wow dad thanks I feel the love."

"Oh don't mind him Damien he's just acting tough but losing Ethan is killing him and it'll kill him again when it's you maybe worse since there won't be anymore kids after you."

“I’m not the one who broke down in the van though.” Jason was quickly fired back with.

Ethan just smiled when watching Clover turn back around to gesture something to Jason. Little things like this is what he was going to miss. Damian bricking with him, his uncle Jason not putting up with it and his uncle Clover trying to be the peacemaker between them all. Not that anything was really ever said with malice, just normal family banter. Taking shots at each other that only they could do. Ethan frowned once everything was settled they would be leavening and this place would be quiet.

Ethan was pulled out his thoughts when he felt his uncle Clover suddenly hug him. Ethan smiled and hugged him back. It was a needed comfort. With his family it didn’t take long for Jason and Damian to join in as well.

“Man I can’t believe how old you are already.” Jason said being the first to pull away and ruffled up Ethans hair. “Feels like just yesterday you were brought to live with Clov and I. Now you're moving out and jeez I better stop before I turn into a sobbing mess like Clov was.”

“I wasn’t as bad as Damian” Clover said then looked guilty after letting that slip.

Ethan looked over to Damian after hearing that Damian was quick to pull away from the hug and looked at the floor. Mumbling about how he told Clover not to say anything about that.

“I’ll miss you too, all of you but you don’t have to worry I’m still around if you need me. I’ll be fine on my own. I'm not gonna lock myself in the bathroom or anything like that.”

The other three didn't seem too convinced, but they all just gave him a smile and nodded. Jason then looked down at his wrist to check the time. Clover peaking over to see as well as he frowned and sighed.

“Well everything is unloaded now we got to get the van back and head back home before it gets late.” Clover added

“Guy’s it fine, it's not like I'm going away I’ll call you and visit and you guys are always allowed to visit me when you want to.” Ethan tried reassuring all three of them. The uncertain looks not fully fading away but they all smiled at least.

"Yeah well look before we jet off, we have a gift for you Ethan." Jason said as he looked back to his husband.

Clover happily held out a warped object to Ethan holding on to Damian the moment Ethan took it from him. Ethan excitedly ripped the colorful paper away and smiled down at his gift. A framed image of his mother.

"A photo of mom?" Ethan asked looking over the picture.

"Damine found the original and was able to fix it up." Clover said proudly hugging Damien tighter.

"You don't really have any pictures of her so I thought it. Are you seriously about to cry?"

Ethan just nodded in response as he was tearing up looking at his cousin.

Boxes unloaded, Ethan walked his Uncles and cousin out. Goodbyes being trading back and forth the whole way out. Ethan kept waving goodbye from the sidewalk. Till the van was long out of sight. Home sickness hitting again but worse he looked up his building finding the window of his apartment. He knew he had stuff to start unpacking and start on this new life, slowly getting that he's on his own. He felt his phone start to buzz and fished it out from his jacket pocket. Seeing a text from his work friend Max, asking about meeting up with him and some of the others from work. That sounded better than being alone in that quiet apartment.

"Eh, I'll unpack later" he shrugged and said to himself

#oc fic #oc story #ethan cloud

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quatschmachen · 5 years ago

Text

Icicles

.A small fic set in the 80′s; probably like 1984 ish.

Edward visits Étienne.

Étienne was wearing too many layers.

Sure it was winter and probably cold but no one should be wearing a fully zipped up jacket, toque and scarf ensemble inside the airport, Edward thought.

“Why are you dressed for an arctic expedition?” Edward asked his friend.

Étienne’s voice was muffled by the scarf, “Because I have a slight cold.”

“This is overkill.” Edward teased, “Do you need my jacket as well?”

“Non.” Étienne sneezed then added, “not yet.”

They were heading away from the airport in a taxi, Étienne apparently not patient enough to wait for a bus.

Edward had packed light, he had managed to establish a Drawer for his Montreal clothes at Étienne’s, an accomplishment he tried not to think about too hard (but which, if he could admit to himself, he was delighted over). He had noticed in the brief interim that they had been outside that it was not that cold, and he figured it was probably just an Étienne thing that the man was dressed in so many layers.

It was only when Edward won the fight of paying the entire cab fare that he felt something was off with the other man.

This was confirmed as they entered Étienne’s place, and the man was refusing to de-layer his clothes.

“Étienne, it’s hot as Hades here, and you’re trying to put on another sweater – alright what’s going on – did you get a shitty tattoo? Do you have scarlet fever?” Edward huffed feeling very annoyed at his friend, his hands reaching out to bat the sweater away.

It was like unwrapping a wriggling child, dodging, and weaving away from him, as Edward firmly grabbed one end of the scarf and unwound it from his friend’s face.

Étienne’s eyes were red, his nose was red and dripping, his cheeks flushed, and he looked as if he had just crawled out of the frosty pits of Niflheim.

“Jesus Christ you look like shit.”

“Thank you Eddy I appreciate the commentary.” Edward realized Étienne sounded weird because his nose was plugged. Étienne grabbed the scarf and rewrapped it around his face. He did however concede in removing his jacket.

“So uh can I assume we’re not going to the club tonight?”

“Excuse me? Obviously we still are, you flew out to have a good time and I’m-” Étienne had to pause to hack a lung out, “am going to show you a good time!” he did a dramatic arm flourish, over tilted, banged into the wall, cried out in pain, and then nobly righted himself, attempting a more subdued ‘we are totally going out and getting dick’ pose.

“No we’re not.” Edward said firmly as he finished taking off his boots, “We are going to stay in.”

“Eddy!! Even if I don’t go out you should go out, you didn’t come all this way to just sit on my couch and watch TV.” Étienne protested as the other man gently guided him to the couch.

Giving his friend a Look, Edward said darkly, “Do you think I fly my ass all the way out to your beautiful city to see some guy’s cock?”

“Well, you always complain that you can’t really do the same stuff in Edmonton so, yeah. I guess. You come here to get tail and I don’t blame you. Nor do I want to hold you back. And I don’t want you to get sick!”

Edward was busy firmly tucking a blanket around Étienne, ensuring that max cozy was achieved.

Étienne was still fussing, and unthinkingly, Edward leant forward and gave the other man a small kiss on the forehead to calm him down. It immediately worked.

“I’m not worried about that. Anyways. Just so you know. I happen to haul myself these many miles to see you. Since you are, you know… my friend. Now I am going to make you a hot drink, and then get take-out, ok? Wong’s is still open, yeah?”

Étienne nodded.

“And if you move from the couch for any reason other than going to bed or peeing, I will look not happily upon that.”

“Ok maudit mardeux.”

XXX

When Edward returned with take-out (he had gotten a lot, with the plan that the leftovers would tide them over for a couple days), he was happy to see that Étienne was still on the couch, the mug of hot tea in his hands, still slowly sipping.

“Eddy,” Étienne turned a plaintive look to the man, looking at the giant bags of take-out, “I’m suffering… can you get me some tissues?”

“Sure, sorry for not getting you them before I left.” Setting the take-out on the coffee table, Edward went in search of the tissues. He also figured the other man would want a personal garbage, and while he was at it, he also grabbed two bowls and cutlery.

Returning, Edward immediately worried as the other man was crying.

Étienne had moved out of his blanket fortress, one of the take-out bags were open, and before him was a round Styrofoam container, lid off, gently steaming.

“How did you know?” he asked quietly. Soft teary eyes looked at Edward; a look that could almost be classified as tender.

Edward looked at Étienne in confusion. “Know what?”

“That I love hot and spicy soup when sick.”

“Because you once wrote me five pages of a letter dedicated to Wong’s hot and spicy soup and how it cured you of the bubonic plague, Étienne.”

“I… I don’t remember that.”

“Judging from your spelling I think you were still high off soup or something,” Edward paused as he watched his friend happily slurp the soup, “However I greatly enjoyed reading it… even if it didn’t quite make sense, especially that weird part where you tried to rhyme in iambic pentameter.”

“I have no fucking memory of this. You’re bullshitting me right? Iambic pentameter? You’re gonna have to show me this letter.”

“Only if you promise not to destroy it,” Edward teased. “Plus, hold on let me see if I can remember.” Edward sat down beside the other man, setting down the items, and then moving to help himself to the food. “Shall I travel the world for a potion? Nay, for the cure exists in Montreal. Dew of the gods in comparison pales. For yea the cure is at Wong’s; Hot and Spicy.”

“Oh my god that’s not even good,” Étienne choked slightly, and then coughed, “That last part isn’t even proper iambic pentameter.”

Edward shrugged, “Hey, you at least tried. I nearly hurt myself laughing, and I mmmmmmaaaaybe hung that up on my fridge to look at for a solid week.”

Étienne narrowed his eyes, “You better watch out Murphy, I’m sure we both have an arsenal of blackmail material in our decades of letters.”

“When did one’s life and feelings become blackmail material, Maisonneuve?” Edward quietly teased, his gaze focused to the news report on the television. The low murmur of the day’s events filling up the strange gap between them.

Étienne blew on the soup and then took a slurp. Slyly he asked, “So that letter where you drew images of your favourite buffalo can be shown to anyone?”

Edward quickly looked at Étienne, “That image was only for you ok – not for the world!”

“But it’s so cute, if I had had a refrigerator at the time it would have gone on that. Though I guess I have one now I can put it up.” Étienne paused, frowned, “Actually, Eddy, you haven’t really drawn anything for me in a while. Why did you stop?”

“Because…” Edward was surprised to find he did not have a ready answer. Life got busy? He got more self conscious? It was something that had simply fallen to the wayside without him noticing? He had grown up and decided drawing was a childish thing? “Huh. I guess I just stopped.”

His friend was wiggling, that wiggle he did when he had one of his brilliant ideas.

“’Tienne, what is it?”

“Since I am so sick, and dying, you should entertain me by drawing me a story!”

“A story?”

“Yeah! One about… buffalo.”

“Draw on what?”

“Oh uhm, let me get you-“

“Just tell me. You stay put… but can we eat first?”

“…Fine… but you are going to draw me a story. Even if it’s in crayon, ok?”

“Yes sir,” Edward laughed, “So do I get any hot and spicy soup?”

XXXXX

“Once upon a time there was beautiful prairie, where the sound of the drums was the heartbeat of the land. Upon the prairie roamed the buffalo, strong majestic animals in whose footsteps sprung new life.”

As he drew the story, Edward narrated. The art items he found were pencil crayons and a pad of paper. The buffalo on the green grass was probably akin to a five year old’s drawing, but as he glanced over to his friend, who looked absolutely thrilled and despite suffering from a sort of plague, who was sparkling in happiness that this was even taking place, it was worth it.

“There was a very tiny calf, whose legs still wobbled.” Edward added little shaky lines to his badly drawn tiny calf, “who got separated from the herd.”

“Edward if this is going to be a sad story I want you to stop now.” Étienne interrupted.

“Shhh.” Edward settled in more, as he paused in his story telling to draw the next page. “This calf, whose name was Stardreamer, had gotten separated from the herd when following a butterfly to a small river. When Stardreamer realized he was no longer with his mother, he called and called, but got no reply.”

“Eddy…”

“Instead a wily old Magpie appeared, letting out a cheeky laugh. Stardreamer attempted to hide, and stayed very still as the Magpie flew down and sat upon him.

<Fear not little one,> the Magpie said, as it began to pick ticks off the calf, <I am a friend.>”

As the story progressed, Edward found himself adding more twists and turns, and what was originally supposed to be only ten pages it became thirty. Étienne’s full rapt attention was addictive, and the man’s slightly wet eyes when Stardreamer reunited with the herd he found endearing.

The story of Stardreamer continued throughout the week as the two of them, instead of simply vegging out and watching movies, found themselves cooped up as the snow piled up outside. The only times Edward left was to get more food and to shovel the sidewalk (which apparently dumbfounded Étienne, who informed Edward that clearing the sidewalk was the city’s job, to which Edward rolled his eyes and asked if the people of Montreal were suddenly missing arms and shovels, which then lead to a heated debate of the role of the city when it came to snow, a debate which kept popping up).

As the week progressed, Étienne got better, his nose less plugged, his body less feverish.

As the week progressed however, Edward began to display the same symptoms of illness that Étienne had had. Something he attempted to hide from the other man… rather unsuccessfully.

He had taken himself to the washroom to blow his nose, only to bang his elbow on the wall when Étienne’s voice spoke up from the other side of the door separating them.

<Eddy, I’m so sorry, I never meant to invite you over and then give you the plague.>

Cursing and rubbing his elbow, Edward was silent a moment, then said, <I do not have the plague, it’s allergies.> This lie was quickly laid to rest as he started having a severe coughing attack. One severe enough that Étienne forced open the bathroom door to stride in and sit Edward down on the edge of the bath, gently rubbing the other man’s back as the coughing fit eventually passed.

As Edward struggled to breath, his nose and throat plugged up, his eyes red rimmed, Étienne shook his head. <Looks like it’s my turn to take care of you.>

Blowing his nose, Edward sniffled. Rubbing his forehead he managed to croak out, <I’m supposed to fly out.>

<Hmmmm, are you well enough to travel? Are you able to rebook?>

Edward was too busy coughing to respond.

Edward shrugged, “I dunno.”

“If you insist on returning…” Étienne paused <I will simply have to travel with you. Make sure you don’t faint on the way.>

Looking over to his friend, his expression a mixture of surprised misery, Edward croaked, “You’d really do that?”

Raising one eyebrow, Étienne quietly responded <You are sick and my responsibility. I would be unable to rest at the thought of you travelling alone in such a condition.>

It was unclear whether it was the fever or something else that caused Edward’s cheeks to flush, as he looked away, his slumped shoulders relaxing, as he leant into the other man.

The only sound was his struggle to breathe, until finally he murmured, “I’ll rebook.”

#quatschfic #pc: edmonton #pc: montreal #icicles

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alchemist-shizun · 5 years ago

Note

10 uu

(Ciao Merty ilysm sei speciale)

Alright alright, nostalgia! I'll write something about Mcga since it's the fandom that made us meet! I wrote this while the power went down and let's say I love angst and you're in for a wild ride. I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not. Love you

(btw I didn't read this twice so there might be mistakes pardon)

✾

Magnus was sitting alone in a quiet and deserted room at Chase Space. There was no sound of mirthful laughter coming from one of the youngest homeless kids, who just for a moment had forgotten about the loneliness he had felt before, or the clattering one of someone helping out in the kitchen.

None was telling stories or making jokes or acting out scenes in fairytales, none was biting down at cookies, or painting an abstract version of the sun outside.

It was just him and the daunting and ineffable presence of the void. Whether it was coming from his heart, his mind, or the objects around him was yet to be decided.

It was not long until Alex made his way through the room and reached him, taking a seat in front of him and sitting with his body facing the back of the seat.

He reached for Magnus' hair and tucked one of his golden locks right behind his ear: it had been a while since they had defeated Loki and stopped Ragnarok, so his hair were starting to grow back to what they were when they first met.

Magnus refused to look up. Instead, he closed his grayish eyes.

A sigh was heard from Alex, who was brighting up the room with his pink and green clothes.

« What's the matter, Maggie? »

As much as he hated that nickname, and as much as he would have never admitted that he loved hearing it from Alex, he couldn't bring himself to retort anything. He couldn't bring himself to talk at all.

Let alone speak his mind to what was bothering him.

« Magnus? »

And, again, nothing.

« Magnus. » his voice was different this time. Was it his power? No, Alex would have never forced him to do anything. It was the power of concern, the type that made you spill the beans otherwise you would have felt guilty for worrying someone so much.

When he finally looked up, he noticed Alex's hair had changed, they were slightly longer in their gorgeous green shade. He was always ready to pick up the slight changes when Alex shapeshifted to feel more comfortable.

« I'm having stupid thoughts and I feel like an idiot. » he felt himself blurt out, with no warning whatsoever. He blinked a few times, surprised at himself.

Alex's expression softened, but didn't brush off the worry from her face.

« I know I call you that a lot, but I can assure you, you aren't, really. Whatever musings you're having are not stupid and you're not either for having them. » how she could save him from self depreciation at times with simple comforting words was still a mystery to him.

« Do you wanna talk about it? »

« It's just ... » he took a deep breath, making a face as he remembered all the reflections he had had. « I'm missing the old times. I have this weird nostalgia towards the moments where we were in trouble, but we were always together. And I feel literal pain as I stop and remind myself that back then- » he stopped, not realizing his heavy breathing and how everything was blurred because of his watery eyes. He tried to steady himself as he took on of Alex's offered hands.

« Back then I had a purpose. There was something I had to do, I had a clear path to take along with all of you. » he looked into her lighter eye. « While now I feel worthless. And also I feel stupid for missing when Loki was still around and the world was in danger only because I don't know what to do with my abilities now. » a little sob escaped his lips, it was the last thing Alex would have ever wanted to hear.

« Magnus, everything you're feeling is completely valid and understandable. I'm sure Blitz and Hearth would be telling you the same thing right now. » he gave her a look, he was far from understanding himself.

« We saved the world from Ragnarok. It's not an everyday quest, so it's normal to feel a little disoriented, I'd be concerned if you didn't. » she brushed his hand with her thumb, soothingly. « And, Magnus, please, you are not worthless. You're doing so much yet you can't see it. »

Alex gestured to the room around them. « Look at this place, look at the kids. Think about all the hard work you put into this to make it real. You're looking for a purpose? It's keeping this safe space up for all the kids and teenagers in need. »

He had thought about that. But he couldn't shake off the feeling of how horrible he was for preferring the earlier dangerous situation.

« And remember. » Magnus felt his chin being lifted up; when did his gaze fall, again? « You are not a bad person for missing all that. It's like coming out of a toxic situation. Sure, you might feel a little weirded out, but you can't blame yourself for that. » Alex looked intensely in his eyes, so much that Magnus found himself nodding at her.

« You've been in a situation where you had a simple goal everyday: survive and find a solution. You went through a routine that was disrupted as soon as we won the battle on that ship. » Alex made a face, remembering Naglfar and its warriors. « Now what? That's what you asked yourself. »

« And I still haven't found a solution. » Magnus finished.

« And there is plenty of time to do that. » Alex smiled at him, her voice was soft, in a way that he understood there was nothing to worry about anymore.

« Focus on the little things, just little simple taska, whether they're for you or the homeless kids it doesn't matter. None is asking you to start over and already jump at the last piece of the puzzle. »

Magnus finally smiled back, his breath was mimicking Alex's own, a way he had learnt to calm himself down at times. « I guess you're right. Thank you, Alex. »

She stood up from her chair, proud, untangling her hand from Magnus' one. Then she proceeded to place an heartwarming kiss on the top of his head.

« Feel free to come in the kitchen when you feel better, Hearth and Blitz might need a hand with dinner. » she hesitated on the doorframe as Magnus nodded softly.

« Magpie? »

« Mh? »

« Everything is okay. »

As Alex began walking towards a different direction, out of the room, Magnus was already too busy wiping the tears that had formed on his cheeks after her last statement.

He decided it was time for him to put in motion her suggestion.

Next goal: helping Blitzen and Hearthstone with cooking. Extra: preventing them from burning the house down.

He could manage that. He had a purpose now.

Everything was okay.

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one-true-houselight · 6 years ago

Video

youtube

It’s me, doing stand up!

I cut out the spelling of my name for privacy reasons. Also, the bit that’s cut off the the end is just me saying that I never went skiing again, and that now I just do safe things, like trying to enter the adult job market.

Transcript under the cut, and if you are so inclined, my Ko-Fi is in my bio. Thanks!

Hello everyone, I am Erika, and tonight I will be performing All Star by Smash Mouth.

I’m kidding, no one would want to hear that. I cannot sing.

(from the crowd: I would!)

(laughter) You don’t want to hear me sing, I promise you.

Alright! Hi! In actuality, I am Erika (last name, pronounced ko-kek), and you’re like ‘ooh, we get a last name now, a mystery, and you’re like it’s an interesting last name too!’ That’s probably because you’ve never seen it spelled out. Let me walk you through my last name (ko-kek), alright, are you ready for this, are you ready: [redacted spelling]. Yeah! Four Ks! That’s a lot of Ks, and they’re in a real strange order. If you- if you noticed, uh, it’s the same set of four letters twice, it’s [redacted spelling] but you may have also noticed that’s not how it’s pronounced! Cuz you know, that would make sense. This is apparently from, like, changes in immigration, that you know happen, which, this is according to my uncle. But my grandfather, who lived in the Netherlands in the 40s (yeah, those 40s), pronounces it like Ko-Kek, so I’m inclined to believe him.

Now, having a weird last name in school is always kind of a crazy existence, though I will say, most of the time when people are like ‘oh, that’s a weird last name’, it’s because people are racist, or at the very least are being like ‘oh, I’m gonna put Western Expectations on things that shouldn’t have them’, but as you see, my last name, is Dutch, as I mentioned, and Dutch white people, which I am one of, have done some incredibly awful things, so I don’t feel bad mocking it. So we continue on. So, this, so with my last name in roll call, we could change my last name to [silence] and it would sound the same. Let me, let me walk you through…Let me walk you through a roll call, so like the teacher’s up here, and they’re like ‘Alright, let’s see…we have Ferris Beuller? Oh you showed up, very good, alright. Harry Potter? Oh, you didn’t die, that’s fantastic. And then, Erika…[long silence]. And I’m just over here like ‘oh yeah that’s me, hi.’ Now sometimes, I like to speed it up, and rather than say here or present or anything, I’ll just say my last name (Ko-kek) to like, speed up the conversation so it’s not like, uh, Erika, long pause, here, oh, how do you pronounce that?, Ko-kek, it just speeds up the process. So, I’ll go, they’ll go Erika… and I’ll say (Ko-kek). The problem is they’ll get confused sometimes. They’ll look at me and they’ll go ‘Oh, is that here in Dutch?’ No. But you did your best.

And not only does my last name have enough Ks to stop a substitute teacher dead in their tracks, my first name? Erika? Also with a K. My sibling is Kat with a K, my mother is Karolyn with a K, though that’s not her fault, she kind of like, came into it and was like ‘oh, I guess this works out’. And my father…is Doug. But, but, he has a middle name that’s very strange and has a K in it so it all works out, it’s fine. So, if you’re ever like reading something, and you’re looking at it and you’re like ‘huh, there should be a K in this word’, it probably wasn’t a typo, my family just needed to name another child and just like, stole it.

So, I do have to say I’m Erika with a K a lot, because most people will assume it’s with a C. Or, more recently, two Ks. Which is kind of fun, but it’s also at the same time like ‘I’m drowning in Ks, please don’t give me more!’ But no, so I say Erika with a K a lot, which means I realized something really really cool. That rhymes with Erika with a They! These are the puns the queer community was built upon.

I do use they/them pronouns, and I even wear a little tag for it, it’s right here, it’s very nice. Um, and, it’s just kind of weird sometimes, because people will sometimes not use my pronouns, which kinda makes me sad. But I’ve realized something. I was just assuming they were reading the tag and just being rude about it. But recently, I’ve realized that they’re just not reading the tag. The way I’ve realized this is I’ll be like, walking through Target, and someone will be, like, looking around, and they’ll see me and they’ll see the tag and go ‘A ha! A worker!’ And they’ll be like ‘Do you know where the towels are?’ And this is very strange for me, mostly because I know where the towels are. So I’ll go ‘Ok, they’re over there in that corner, but I don’t work here, please.’ And, and they’re like ‘Oh, I just assumed you did because of your name tag.’ Now there’s a couple of problems with that. My ‘name tag’, as they put it, doesn’t have a name on it, which means they clearly didn’t read it. The other big problem with it is that most stores or places of business have a sense of decorum, or at least consistency in their design. My tag, on the other hand, while I love it very much, how do I put this, it doesn’t look good. It looks like if an eight year old magpie with attention issues made it at summer camp. This is basically how the making of my tag went: I’m was just sitting there and I’m like ‘Alright, I’m gonna put five shiny things on it. Wonderful, wonderful, this random piece of gaff tape? That has to go on, that’s, like, that’s key to the whole pronoun tag process. Now, for the words. And I start writing, I’m like ‘they/them and-’ oh my god. What if I could fit more shiny things on it? I’m still writing, I don’t know what I’m writing at this point, it doesn’t look good. Oh, I could put more shiny things on it, maybe I could like, steal a rock and somehow affix that to it…And then I look down and I’m like ‘oh, I finished the words, guess I’m gonna just put it on my shirt!’ And it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine. So, a lot of people don’t read the tag, but a lot of people do, and I have a lot of wonderful friends and family who support me very much.

Though, being openly trans can be, can get a little confusing sometimes. Sometimes I’ll tell stories about being in the Girl Scouts, and be like ‘Ha, that’s funny for obvious reasons!’ and people will be like, ‘oh, it’s the girl thing!’, and I’ll be like ‘no!’. Because the Girl Scouts are actually super cool about trans girls and non binary kids, which we appreciate very much, especially because it gives us a very good reason to buy Girl Scout cookies, beyond just buying something to fill the hole in your heart.

Crowd: support the gays!

Exactly! But no, the weird part about it for me is the scout part. Let me tell you a story. So one time when I was sixteen years old, I was a camp counselor for a bunch of small children, and we went to a playground one time. So I’m wandering around, like you do, like making sure the children don’t like, die, and I see two girls sitting under a tree, and they’re doing the whole, like, ‘rub two sticks together to start a fire’ thing. So I go ‘I’m gonna wander over and see how they’re doing’, and I’m like ‘How’re you doing, kids?’ And they look at me and they’re like ‘Erika? Why do you rub two sticks together to start a fire?’ and I’m like ‘Well, that’s a very interesting question, so you see, there’s a fire triangle, and the fire triangle has heat, fuel, and oxygen, and you have to have all three because fire is just adding oxygen-‘ And I just go on this like, five minute tangent about, like, talking about the science of fire, and you’re probably sitting there thinking like. Erika, explaining how fire works is like, the most scout thing you can do, and normally I would agree with you. Except. I talked for five minutes about the ins and outs of fire science, and neglected to mention fire safety. So I realize this, and I’m like ‘oh no, I’m going to start a wildfire by proxy’, so I just start yelling fire safety tips with absolutely no context. So I’m like, ‘You need a bucket of sand!’, I didn’t tell them why they needed the sand, I just said you needed one, and I’m like ‘build a circle of rocks on the ground!’, and they’re just gonna do that and go ‘I can build fires for the rest of my life, perfect!’ And then I’m sitting there, so like, another counselor is walking behind me like ‘two minutes left’, I’m like ‘Oh no, I have two minutes to like, save my entire town’, and I’m like ‘You should probably have an adult present’, and then I realize I probably should have mentioned that first, and I was like, ‘alright, just imagine I said adult present first, and just, and then put everything else, remember everything else, but remember adult first, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine.’ So, luckily, my town has not had any reports of wildfires. But suffice it to say, I am not exactly scout material.

I am going to finish out the night by telling you a story from my scouting days. I was about eight years old, and we went on a ski trip. Now, let me tell you a little thing about eight year old Erika. You may have noticed that up here as a 20 year old, I’m a little bit lanky, my limbs do weird things as I run about the stage like an excited golden retriever. But see, I’m like, at a controllable lanky now. When I was eight, I was just gangly. My limbs just changed like, lengths every day, sometimes by multiple feet. So I’d be like, walking along, and I’d like just, kick a doorway, or like I’d be sitting and raising my hand, you know how like, you sometimes hit your hand on your desk, and you did it like, once a month? I did it twice a day. And people would be like, ‘Erika why do you keep hitting your hand on the desk?’ and I’m like ‘Cause my hand wasn’t there before! It was over here, I don’t know what’s happening!’ It was like I was living in a world of cartoon physics that I didn’t have control over. So I’m just like, ‘I guess I’m walking and my arms over here now, great!’ So my scouting troop looked at this, and was like ‘you know I think would be a great idea to do to this tiny, eight year old, whatever this is? We’re gonna stick a piece of wood, long, skinny, really slippery piece of wood on each of their feet, and then we’re gonna push them down a mountain.’ So, uh, you can probably tell where this story is going.

So, we get to the mountain, and I have my skis, we had to like, wait in a really long line, and I’m like, ‘oh, I’m so excited to go skiing’. So I’m walking around and I’m like, ‘alright, this is very exciting’, I see there’s a ski lesson about to start, and I’m like ‘I should probably do that because I want to make sure I know what’s going on’, so if you’ve never been skiing before, here’s what a skiing lesson is. You have a large group of people that want to learn how to ski, and you have a very excited person ready to tell you about skiing. So, you all go with them, you walk sideways up the mountain because you know, whatever. And the person, the very enthusiastic person, tells you a lot of really good skiing tips, and I, an eight year old with undiagnosed ADHD, sat there, and uh, kind of cycled between looking at the person, watching their mouth move, and having my audio processing like, on the ski lift, OR, I would be watching them, and a skier would go by, and I would watch the skier and be like, ‘oh, maybe I can pick up some tips from the skier’, absolutely ignoring the person that’s just giving me the tips for free. So I did not pick up a lot of good ski tips, but I did pick up one, and this is, this is, I will always remember this. He was like ‘alright, if you’re going down the mountain, and you want to slow down or stop, you make a triangle with your skis.’ And so I was like ‘alright, I’ve got it. I make a triangle with my skis to go slow, great, fantastic.’ So then, I’m like, ‘alright. I know everything there is to know about skiing. It is time to get started.’

So the first time I fell a lot, which, you know, of course you fall a lot, it’s you first time, and like, who knows what skiing is. The second time I also fell a lot and you know, I’m still getting the hang of it. Third time, also fell a lot, but you know, it’s fine. I’m just going to like, skip to the end, because I fell most of the times. It was less of me skiing down the mountain, and more of me just falling over and over again until I reached the bottom. But then, the last run of the day, I’m like ‘alright, I’m gonna do this’, I get about three quarters of the way down the mountain and I haven’t fallen once. And I’m just sitting there like ‘oh my god, I’m the skiing master. Oh my god, I’m gonna go to the Olympics. It’s gonna be great.’ So I am, I’m going down the mountain and, if don’t know if you know this about physics, because I wasn’t stopping and starting by just falling down constantly, I actually picked up a little bit of speed, which was really nice. But at this point, I was going a little bit faster than I intended to go, and I was like, ‘Huh. I kind of want to slow down now’, so I go into the little card catalogue that is my mind and I’m like ‘a ha! Triangle equals slow! Perfect!’ So I, I look down at my skis because I want to make sure I’m doing it right, and I’m like ‘alright, ready, here we go. Triangle.’ And nothing happened. Now the problem with this is, is that I was eight, and didn’t have critical thinking skills. So I looked at this situation, and I said, ‘huh. This triangle is not working. But it’s the only thing I know about skiing, and since I am a skiing master and know everything, this can be the only solution.’ So I double down on the triangle.

Now here’s the thing. I tell this story a lot, and one time I was telling it and I got to this part, and my friend looked at me and said the following: ‘You were doing the wrong kind of triangle!’ Which is a baffling thing to have yelled at you. So I was sitting there like ‘what are you ta- Was I doing an isosceles? Should I have been doing a scalene? Like, did you want me to yell the pythagorean theorem at it? I don’t know what you’re telling me!’ So she could not explain it, so we moved on. So then I told this story again, and another set of friends was like ‘Erika. She meant you had to do a triangle like this.’ And I was like, ‘oh, because that would actually stop the, oooooh.’ So now, twelve years after this story happened, I now know how to ski. So that’s cool, but back to me being eight years old.

At this point, I am going even faster than before, somehow, going much faster than any eight year old pile of limbs should ever be going, and I go ‘this is bad, I can no longer, uh, control which direction I’m going’, which is bad because I’m heading right for a circle of snowboarders. And so I’m I’m, I’m like, trying to turn and I can’t and I’m like ‘oh no’, so I just kind of look up at them, because I am approaching them at quite a speed, and I just start screaming, ‘HEY! YOU GOTTA MOVE! I CAN’T STEER!’ So they look up at just this banshee shriek from up the mountain, and they go, ‘huh. we should move,’ and they do, as well as they can, because they only have one piece of wood instead of the two that I was privileged to have. But they manage to make it out of the way, and I don’t hit anyone, and I continue down the mountain.

At this point, I literally, like, sit down on my skis and dig my hands into the snow in an attempt to stop myself, which works slightly better than the triangle, which isn’t saying much. So at this point, I have basically reached the bottom of the mountain, and I have reached, and at the bottom of the mountain there was a straight-away, and at the end of the straight-away there was a barrier of snow. Now the barrier of snow was about one, one and a half feet. The straight-away…I’m not really good with distances, but it was at least two feet, we’ll go with that. So I reach the straight-away, and I look up for this at least two foot distance. And I see this barrier of snow and I’m like ‘Ah. Here’s where my journey will come to an end.’

So I’m heading down this straight-away, I’m slowly slowing down, but I’m still going at quite a speed, and I’m like, ‘oh, it’ll be a little bit of an impact, but it’ll be fine.’ So here’s what happens. Here’s the barrier of snow, here’s me, here I go. Wheeeeee. And I hit the barrier of snow. And I go up and I go over it into the super secret special hill that they don’t show anyone, because it’s covered in bushes, and rocks, and leads to the parking lot.

So, at this point, I am now somersaulting down the hill, you know, fun times, and I’m grabbing bushes, I am desperately trying to like, not die, and at this point, I decide, I’m like ‘you know what would be a good, you know what would be good at this time? A flashback of my life.’ So my life flashes before my eyes, and it finishes I’m like ‘huh. That didn’t last as long as I thought it would.’ So I’m tumbling, and I’m just like ‘I’m gonna die! It’s fine!’ So I reach the bottom, and I kind of sit there and I take stock of everything, and I look around and I’m like, ‘Hey. I’m alive. I just wasted a life flashback, do you know how expensive that it?’ So I’m sitting there, and then I realize something. I realize that in my current state I cannot move because all of my limbs that change size all the time are tangled together. And I can’t get out of my limbs because my arm is so that like, I would have to hook it around my foot, but my foot is currently eight feet long because there’s a ski attached to it. So I’m-You know those like, Cracker Barrel things, the like, little metal puzzles that you play with for five minutes then give up because you want to play the peg game? I looked like one of those.

So I go into my mental autopsy, which you know, all eight year olds with anxiety have, and I go ‘we’re gonna just change the cause of death to…starvation.’ Which was very very silly, of course, because I would of died of thirst before I died of starvation. So I’m laying there, waiting for my eventual fate, and I look up into the parking lot I landed next to, and I see two guys walking towards me. And I go ‘huh. Interesting,’ and I go back to my mental autopsy, and I recross out starvation, and write ‘murdered in the snow, while tangled in my own limbs.’ So I’m just like, ‘there’s nothing I can do’, so I just kind of look at them, and they’re looking at me.

Luckily for me though, they were just coming over to help, because from their perspective, they had just seen a screaming ball of just, extremities, shoot over the barrier, tumble down a mountain, and then just lie there motionless for a while. So they walk over, and they’re very nice, they help me out of my skis, and they’re like ‘Do you, do you need to go into the lodge?’ and I’m like ‘Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.’ So I, so they walk me into the lodge and we find my mother who’s there, hello, hi mom, and, and she’s like ‘what happened?’ And I’m like ‘I don’t know.’

#mine #comedy #standup #standup comedy #skiing #pronouns #non binary #names #stories #LMAO IT ME #also you can literally play this video at .75 and it sounds normal #ooops

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lordshaxxion · 6 years ago

Note

AAALL for Cidrex because he is my favorite boy

alright u asked for it >:U all of this fuckery will be under a cut

Where were you rezzed?

“In a forest somewhere in the EDZ, I think. I don’t really remember much of it, I was pretty much immediately attacked by Fallen, so there was a lot of running for my life.”

How long ago was it?

“During the Dark Ages, so a reaaaally long time ago. Like, during the prime of the Iron Lords.”

Did you have anything in your pockets?

“Just a lump of crystal quartz, but it was rose-coloured and I guess that’s where my obsession with shiny things and collecting crystals from? Oh, I also had some old currency from the Golden Age. No idea what kinda currency, but I cleaned them up and they’re super shiny and really cool.”

What was your first week alive like?

“Stressful. It was a lot of learning how to survive and trusting my Ghost to heal any injuries and bring me back if I died. That was a shock in itself though, when I died for the first time.”

How did you react to your new role as a Guardian?

“Well I became an Iron Lord before I became a Guardian, and that was pretty alright until SIVA happened. After that, being a Guardian and being an Iron Lord became the same thing - just doing the right thing because no one else will, or can.”

Do you have any regrets?

“I couldn’t save my brothers and sisters of Iron from SIVA. Saladin has always told me that I couldn’t have saved them by myself, but I still regret not doing more to at least try.”

Does your ghost have a name?

“He’s called Socks-”

“IT’S SOX!”

“-because he used to hide in my sock drawer at the Iron Temple.”

What is your ghost like?

“He calls himself Sox because he wants to look cool, and I think he cares too much about how he looks from the perspective of other Ghosts. I dunno if Ghosts are judgy to one another, but what I do know is that Sox used to hang around a not-so-great group of them. He’s small for a Ghost and I think this group sorta... took the piss. He tries to act tough a lot, but I know that deep down he cares a lot and he does like his actual name.”

How do you feel about the last city and the vanguard?

“I was sent to the Last City by Saladin to act as a so-called ambassador between the City and the Temple, so it’s like a second home to me now. I know all the streets like the back of my hand, even the sectors I’m not really meant to venture into. The Vanguard are alright, they have their hiccups but I know they mean well and try their best. Well, the did until Cayde... yeah.”

What’s your favourite place to go?

“Cayde used to describe it as wanderlust, but I like wandering all over the Earth and seeing all the ruins and wilds there are. Though my favourite place out of all is the Lost Sector in Winding Cove. It’s so beautiful there with the glow-worms in the dark and the reflection of them in the water. Nice and quiet too, when it’s cleared out every other day.”

Do you participate in strikes or the crucible?

“Strikes. I leave the Crucible to my brother, Othion.”

How do you celebrate the holidays?

“I used to celebrate in getting blackout drunk with Cayde and the rest of the Vanguard, we even used to persuade Shaxx and Othion to join us sometimes. Now though I spend them by myself just tinkering with the stuff I’ve collected over the years.”

Who is your favourite NPC and who is your least favourite?

“It was and will always be Cayde. I can’t get along with Ada-1, though. She unnerves me and acts rather stuck-up despite allowing Guardians into the Black Armory now.”

Where do you sleep/call home?

“I have my own apartment in the Tower, of course, and unlike most Hunters that’s where I call home. It gets me weird looks though, I know a lot of Hunters prefer sleeping under the open stars and it gets Sox to tease me and call me ‘a domesticated hunter’.”

Do you have any pets or companions?

“I wanted to get a cat when Cayde was still around, but we never got round to doing it. Though I kinda have magpies that come to stay when I’m at home. I put feed out on the window sill for them and sometimes they come back with shiny trinkets for me. Oh, and I look after Colonel too, but I’m not allowed to keep Colonel in my apartment because other Hunters would throw a fit.”

Does anyone live with you?

“Cayde and I talked about it, about him moving in with me or something. Again, we never got round to it.”

How do you unwind or comfort yourself?

“It’s embarrassing to admit, but when me and Sox went exploring a while back we found a stash of what used to be called ‘stim toys’. Lots of pots of squishy clay-like dough. Sometimes if I’m overwhelmed I just dig out one of the pots and just sit there squishing it for an hour or so. In terms of general relaxation, if I have the attention span I’ll read or if I don’t then I’ll watch some movies. I got a good collection of Golden Age and pre-Golden Age movies now.”

What would truly break you?

“Losing someone close to me again. I lost Cayde and I wasn’t myself for a long time. If I were to go through that again, I really don’t think I’d recover at all.”

Most embarrassing moment?

“When Sox resurrected me for the first time after dying and I sat there crying and threw up for two hours. It wasn’t... my greatest moment.”

Any cherished memories?

“All of my time with Cayde, to be honest with you. Even when we argued, I cherish those memories greatly. Also the first time I discovered a rare crystal, that was a pretty good moment too.”

What was your highest and/or lowest point?

“Like I said, losing Cayde devastated me almost to a point of no return. Highest point? First Crimson Days with Cayde, we wrecked shop in the Crucible together and got banned in the same day! The look on Izel’s face was glorious.”

Views on the enemy races?

“I don’t like the Taken or Scorn, those are practically a given. Vex are annoying and freak me out a little. Cabal I loathe for what they did to the City, though that’s predominantly the Red Legion but whatever. Hive also freak me out now I think about it, though the worms they drop are kinda cute. Fallen? I just feel pity for them. They lost everything in their own version of the Collapse and are just trying to get by, and yet we keep attacking them.”

Which enemy race is your most/least favourite?

“I hate the Scorn for what they did. On the flip side of that, I rather like the Fallen. I got a chance to get to know a few, like Mithrax, and they’re honestly not that bad when you do get to know them.”

What’s your role in a fireteam? (Tank, support, buff/healer, comic relief? Or are you the dead weight?)

“Dead weight.”

“No you aren’t, Cidrex, you’re a sniper.”

Do you have any mentors/mentees?

“Saladin and many of the original Iron Lords were my mentors, but I don’t have any mentees. Hunters ask me for advice every so often, but I don’t give it. I don’t want to be in that position, I’m not a good teacher.”

What is your favourite weapon type/favourite weapon?

“Give me my DARCI and I’m good to go. I like auto rifles a lot though, despite me using snipers a lot I’m not that great up close so it’s easier for me to just kinda spray and pray without the instability of SMGs.”

Do you play Gambit?

“Sometimes. It can get really stressful trying to deal with invaders that use utter bastard weapons.”

How do you feel about the Drifter?

“I don’t know. Everything about his operations just tell me that I can’t trust him at all, but then I got to know him better and I just feel... kinda sad?”

If you could be any class/subclass (not just your own), what would you be and why?

“Striker Titan, cuz it looks like fun and a great stress and tension relief. Though, I’d like to be able to use Gunslinger properly, I’ve never been able to use it all that well even when Cayde tried to teach me. I’d just like to do it, for him.”

What are your thoughts on the Nine?

“Fuckin’ weird. I don’t trust them at all, especially not after I saw the Emissary for the first time. Though Xur’s pretty cool.”

Any secret crushes or relationships we need to know about?

“Well.... there is this one guy. Hunter, but he’s built like a Titan. Got no social skills and the emotional range of a teaspoon, but he’s charming in his own way regardless.”

“It’s Ataric.”

“SOX!” @crazy-bone-lady

Does your Ghost approve, or haven’t you told them?

“Sox is a piece of shit that tries to out my crush at every given moment. Luckily, he’s a tiny piece of shit so I can just hold him in my hands and he can’t do anything.”

You’re about to go off-planet on assignment, and will only be able to eat protein rations and food gel for a month. What’s your last meal?

“I don’t really have a preferred meal or anything, so I’d just get take-out somewhere in the City. I know a couple really good joints.”

If you could take over any NPC’s job, who would it be and why?

“Cayde’s job as Hunter Vanguard. I know every Hunter has just about run for the hills, and will always do so when they hear the words ‘Vanguard Dare’, but I’d be happy to take up the position. I’ve already taken up his cloak, might as well take the job that came with it right?”

What is the most beautiful sight you’ve seen?

“When Sox and I were exploring an Io cave system, we fell through into a massive chamber filled with crystals. The light from where we’d fallen through shone on the crystals in such a way it created an utterly breathtaking spectrum of colour. We took so many photos of that moment, it was just so amazing to see all these crystalline spires lit up and practically glowing.”

“What about that sunrise in the EDZ?”

“Oh yeah, this one was pretty good.”

Do you have a favourite colour?

“Not particularly, though green’s pretty good since I dyed my hair with it.”

Show us your favourite outfit!

“Top picture, switch the pants for the Lucky Pants and you’re sorted. Bottom picture, I miss my BrayTech hood. It was super cosy, and paired nicely with the Taimat(?) chestpiece.”

What’s your favourite shader?

“New Monarchy Diamonds and Metro Shift.”

If you could make a wish to an Ahamkara for anything - no strings attached - what would you wish for?

“To save all those I failed to save. The Iron Lords, Cayde. All of them.”

#long post #destiny #destiny 2 #lord cidrex #guardian asks #this is all under a GIANT cut #thanks jules #crazy-bone-lady

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twodaysintojune · 6 years ago

Text

The Apple Pie Spell 3

Supernatural, Debriel, Warnings-None

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Find me at AO3

Gabriel was sitting on a chair, looking at Dean’s resting body. He had felt something move in the spell with each kiss Dean had received, it had acknowledged the feelings of each of them but in the end it hadn’t budge. It was a powerful spell after all. He was actually surprised Cas hadn’t felt it’s original source at all, probably because he was not used to Fae energy. But something was missing in the puzzle and he was still unsure of exactly what.

Despite Gabriel’s best intentions, Sam had postponed the search for candidates to kiss Dean up until the next day and had gone to lock himself up in his room but not before asking Cas to join him for a quick talk in private.

Gabriel only guessed what that talk could be about. Seeing how strong the tension was from Sam towards Cas he just hoped the Winchester had gathered some courage to finally confess after seeing how close he had been of losing his chance with the Magpie.

Which led him to his own current situation. Because seeing Cas lean over to kiss Dean had been pretty arousing for a hot second before he felt a sharp pang of jealousy towards his brother go through him, damn, he could even bet his ass Cas had been able to feel it.

But why?

Why was he suddenly jealous when he saw Castiel about to kiss Dean? Gabriel tried his best to remember the last time he ever had this kind of feeling, probably centuries ago with Kali. And it had gone the exact same way. He had been fooling around with her saying it was nothing serious until she suddenly started to date that Hindu god what's-his-name and he had felt like everything was out of sorts until he came out clean to her.

However, unlike with Kali, he had never gotten intimate with Dean. I mean, yeah, there was that one kiss from some time ago but that one didn’t really count, he had just been impulsive for Father’s sake. They were friends, bros, besties. You know, all that shit. They spent an insanely stupid amount of time watching Dr. Sexy reruns and porn and liked to go out and have burgers and beer and laugh and play and fight and do all of that fun and stupid stuff you do with someone you trust.

Someone you love.

Aw shit, Gabriel was knee deep in fucking trouble. He wasn’t even able to hide his blush when he realized the reason that even though Dean had been showed loyal, familiar and revered love, none of it would have been enough. Because this was a Fae spell and the Fae never did their stuff half assed and if there was a tiny sliver of hope that Dean Winchester actually had someone that would love him for who he was and have him as their partner, the spell would only work with that person alone.

Gabriel slowly approached and leaned towards Dean while having all these thoughts, trembling, afraid that his love would not be enough to wake him up. He stopped inches away from Dean’s face. He knew his friend was hot but now Gabriel found him downright handsome and why were things so difficult now? He stopped his anxious thoughts and dived in, joining their lips together with a rushed breath. Father his lips were still the best thing he had ever felt.

Dean woke up to see Gabriel sitting nonchalantly by his side.

“Gabriel?”

Dean made a go to sit yawning, subconsciously, he touched his lips briefly. There was something important he had to notice but before he could pin it out he was distracted by his friend.

“Sup, Dean-o. How’re you feeling?”

“Man, I feel like I got the best nap of my entire life.” Gabriel chuckled nervously. “Dude, you ok? You look pretty wrecked.”

Gabriel opened his eyes wide.

“Me? Hahaha no, not really. I just need to lay down. It was a weird ass day. Maybe you should also rest a bit more, considering you were under a spell and all.”

“Spell?” Dean was still trying to fully wake up. “What do you mean by…” his eyes suddenly lit in realization “The pie”

Gabriel gave him a soft grin and proceeded to explain him all that had happened while he was out. Dean frowned when Gabriel told him of the kiss Cas and Jack had given him with a clear accusatory look that the archangel just laughed aside, he also thoughtfully forgot to tell Dean about the kiss his brother had delivered.

“So you decided you needed to have your fun before using your mojo to lift the spell.”

“Hey, wouldn’t you have done the same in my place?” Gabriel asked shrugging his shoulders “Besides, nobody got hurt this time.”

“Yeah, just because all my lights were out but I would definitely have made a stand against it.”

“I get it tiger, next time I’ll come save you straight out, no detours taken. Should I wear the full Prince Charming attire or just a cape is alright?”

Dean chuckled while receiving the cold beer Gabriel produced out of nowhere.

“How about you stick around and help us avoid this kind of stuff from the start.”

“Heh… If only I could do that...”

Dean looked at Gabriel and tensed up, he was looking aside wistfully in a manner very unlike his usual behaviour.

“Dude, it’s alright, it was a joke. We know you’ve got responsibilities, Heaven needs you more than we do.”

“Yeah… I just wish they didn’t...” Gabriel chuckled bitterly “You know, it’s really funny… All these years, all I ever wanted was to go back home and be needed and now that I have it I… It’s… That place… It’s no longer home.”

Gabriel barely threw the words out of his mouth before a knot forced him to stop. It was the first time Gabriel had dropped all pretense towards himself. He was no longer able to avoid the truth. Tears were forming on his eyes and before he was able to understand what was going on, Dean was pulling him towards a kind embrace.

“Hey, it’s alright. I bet you’ll find a place to call home.”

Gabriel threw his arms around Dean and hugged him as hard as the hunter could take without it being too much. He felt his core cracking a little when he realized that once more he was far from where he really wanted to be. He didn’t want to let go. He wanted to stay here.

“Home...”

#debriel #dean winchester #Dean Winchester is a Disney Princess #gabriel #gabriel supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic #fanfiction

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christimesteele · 3 years ago

Text

Transcript - Time Talks Ep 40 - Melancholy Joy Mixtape ft. carla joy bergman

Transcripts for Time Talks Ep 40 - Melancholy Joy Mixtape w ...

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

song, melancholy, music, joy, talking, people, melancholic, love, feel, listening, thought, big, play, life, hear, playlist, sad, carla, called, sole

SPEAKERS

Tracy Chapman, Pet Shop Boys, Holy Cole, Sade, Burial, Final Straw Podcast, Bobs Your Uncle, Sole, Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush, SBTRKT (feat. Sampha), Chris, carla, Andre 3000 - Me&My, Time me, Jason/Maudlin Magpie & produced by A Thousand Vows, chris, Juice WRLD, Nat King Cole., Organized Konfusion

chris time steele 00:04

Welcome to Episode 40 of the time talks podcast part of the channel zero network. This episode I'm joined by another channel zero network member. My wonderful friend carla bergman. carla is co-author of Joyful Militancy with Nick Montgomery. carla edited the book Radiant Voices and put together the Emma Talks series, and collaborated on the work Pandemic Solidarity. Along with being an author carla is a filmography checkout joyful threads productions. On top of that, check out the podcast carla collaborates on. There's the Silver Threads podcast and the Grounded Futures podcast. These links are in the show notes. For this episode, we had a conversation and put together a playlist on the topic of melancholy joy, sharing some of our stories and the ways we use music to navigate life and living. Thank you to Awareness for the music and here's a brief jingle from a fellow channeled zero network member.

Final Straw Podcast 00:59

The final straw is a weekly anarchist radio show. It's fucking awesome and you're never gonna hear me say fucking awesome on our show. Because we're FCC regulated, there's a black part of my heart that that just flutters when you when you talk like that. Talk, then more yelling. it's a weird sort of like nice thing in a way but also can get kind of crushing at times the finalstrawradio.noblogs.org

chris 01:32

I just wanted to begin and say that you're a wonderful writer, poet, curator, conductor, filmographer, author, revolutionary, Joyarchist, artist, kinetic thinker and so much more and just wanted to thank you for doing this Melancholy Joy Mixtape. I was wondering if you could kind of open with what you kind of frame what melancholy joy is? Because when you first mentioned it to me, just the phrase put together a lot of things that in a way that I like sad music and how sad music brought me relief, and how I've been attracted to two minor notes and all that and just the vibe so I really meant a lot to me when you mentioned it to me.

carla joy bergman 02:14

That's really nice. It's an honor to be here. Thank you. And I would repeat all that back to you, that you are too - kinetic thinker and Joyarchist, and all that.. thank you means a lot. I'm a bit nervecited as the My Little Pony say, Just give me a second. Yeah, if it's okay if I can give a little bit of a historical story around it because it like everything with me and always has this like, aha moment. So similar. I've always been attracted to sad music. And it was actually we have a radio station in Canada, that's, I guess, a public radio called CBC and did really good shows on it. And there was an episode on this idea of melancholy music, and so I was what's that? And of course, they talked about Joni Mitchell a lot, a Canadian sweetheart. And I was like, yeah, that's real. And they had said the person I can't even remember who was on probably a musician in Canada, but they said, you know, melancholy just means a thoughtful sadness. And I was like, Oh, yeah, that's what I am. I'm like, thoughtfully sad. But as time went on, I went through just stuff that was happening on the global like, collective grief 911 happened, some other stuff, some personal stuff. I really noticed that through all my sad periods of time, I always had a belly full of joy. Best way to describe it, I just, Joy's just really, really big in me. So I thought about a decade later, I I think I tried to create a handle on Twitter, melancholy joy, but I had done a few forums, online forums... And a part of it was because, I had a bit of a judgment that if you weren't melancholic, you weren't paying attention to the world, and but that you could still have a thriving life. So it has a kind of a political resonance to it like it will not even it went beyond music. The story moves into militant joy, because militant, to me is more has more power, I guess, or more collective power. It's more active than melancholy. But the pandemic hit again, or hit and melancholy really resurfaced in my life. Collectively, I could feel that collective grief. And I was just really attracted again to listen to melancholy joy music and, really listening to your album that you put out this year. reignited that again in me and I think that's why I said sent it to you because I was like, Oh, this is melancholy, joy, music, then your newest one that you've put out.

chris 04:44

Thank you so much. That's so kind. And I also see the phrase you use of melancholic hope. And that's a really powerful word too. And I think that's kind of what you find in the melancholy joy is this hope of kind of listening to sad music or music that helps you reflect and re energize yourself again, and there's a hope in melancholy, of just even being able to verbalize or feel that you're melancholic is the hope because you're able, then you're reflecting and saying, like, I'm sad, I have sadness and anger. And I'm able to work with those now, and kind of water those seeds to work through problems. And I think that's one thing that music does so well.

carla 05:30

Yeah, I love that. Nick Montgomery, who co wrote joyful militancy started talking about Empire and joy, and our book, using music as an example. And that Empire has this really loud music that's really loud and drowns everything else out. And when I started, when you asked me to do this show, I was like, Oh, I wonder how melancholy joy music fits into disrupting that, because one of the things that I added to the conversation was that it's, the problem is listening. It's not so much that it's louder. I think that we, all the other music or other sounds are the other ways of talking with each other is there, it’s present. And there's something about that melancholic hope, like you say that it's there. Like the possibilities are there, the seeds are there, and they just need us to water them, as you so graciously said to me once, that I loved. Yeah, so yeah, I love that.

chris 06:23

Yeah, what you say of how it's there. That's really, I feel the explanation and so hard to explain it with melancholy joy in those terms, like it's something that's there, it's something you can feel, and it's like a vibe, and joyful militancy. I really liked the quote from Glen Coulthard. When you mentioned you all had mentioned that he put his finger on something of sadness and anger and how they often stem from love. And just a little bit of this quote is: "I think that for the somber, melancholic militant, I get it, I understand it, how could you not be, and this is my point, the only way you respond to the world like that is because of some base sort of individual and collective self respect, some love for oneself and others, were the land that you are being violated in a profound way. This produces melancholy, anger, whatever, they're not separable." And I really thought that that whole quote is just powerful. And for anyone who has a book, it's on page 175. So there's no citation violations there.

carla 07:27

Nope. You can also get the book for free online.

chris 07:32

Yeah, I wanted to. I really thought that that quote was, he added more to this conversation too.

carla 07:38

Thanks for finding it. I need to put his whole interview up. It's so incredible.

chris 07:43

That'd be awesome.

carla 07:44

Yeah, that's really good. Because we interviewed him, obviously, because he talks about resentment and anger so much. And it was, like affirmative theory. It includes anger and rage. It's not negation, right, like, negation something else. And so I, thank you for bringing him in. Because I think that's a really important distinction about where melancholy fits into the conversation right now. I worked really hard to not be a melancholic person. So it's like dang, it's back again.

chris 08:17

Well, yeah, I hope it's like a productive melancholy joy. I mean, that's what I wanted. That's what I really felt with this mixtape. And then it brings up deeper discussions on our end. And, feelings and, and just other reactions that I feel are productive in thinking deeper about society. And a lot of these things are produced from such a disgusting messed up society, at least with my picks that helped me find ways to navigate through these parts of society. So before we start, I was just going to just give a little intro on why I picked these, a whole foundation of how I picked them. And I just wanted to say that I framed how I picked my choices with assuming that there's a lot of nuances and and I'm sure that's why you picked yours as well, that they have nuances that they're not just the songs but they relate to life, your life and timeline. And I picked these songs for a few reasons. For one, they may sound like they're more melancholy songs, but they bring joy and solace. They are often songs I go to when I feel no more hope or little hope, songs I go to, to recharge, to recalibrate, to keep reminding myself that I'm not going to feel this way forever. And along with these choices, when I'm stressed I often find I get attached to a song and it becomes my crutch. I don't know if you're that way. They become my friend when I'm lonely and alienated, usually from work and ironically self imposed isolation that I often do unknowingly and then realize ...these were also songs that were some of my only friends during tough times that helped me build me back up again. Hopefully they can be tools for others and spark other discussions, another playlist like this.

carla 10:02

Oh, that's really beautiful. Thank you. Yeah, definitely some of that. For me the friend part for sure. The helping me move through like, I think melancholy is something that is imposed on us from the conditions of the world we're living in. And I think joy maybe is something that's within us that we can... Ursula Le Guin in the dispossessed talks about it as something that you can't control at all, It just will come in and do its thing and leave. I just really love that distinction. It was the seed for me thinking about joy differently. So yeah, when I think with my playlists, there's a couple things. I physically get affected when I'm sad. So my body gets, I get sick. I can't move. So for me, music has to have an element that makes me move. And I think that joy moves - when I move it moves with me or it moves first. I don't know what you know, is what comes first. But the music definitely, because thinking about like, part of whether it's collective or individually, like we try to find some harmony, and you think about that in terms of music, right? Like, what is that about? Like, what was that? What are we looking for ourselves, when we're not doing well, when were depleted and stagnated? and sad? Yeah, so I think that, that played like a role. I also thought about my personal journey in terms of finding freedom within myself. From stagnant music, what do you call it? First Family, our family of origin stuff that I needed to get away from some of those songs are about that and becoming a parent. I have like a definitely a theme of Don't tell me what to do. And I don't want to grow up. I think all of that kind of fits in. And it's kind of covering up Mushishi

chris 11:49

Yeah

carla 11:49

Because it's connected. I have a question for you before we maybe share playlists but I was rewatching Mushishi, maybe you can explain what Mushishi is after people need to but just google it. It's an animation. It's beautiful. Zen Buddhist healer Guy Ginko. But one of the episodes was about I think it's like the second or third one of the first season. I'm not gonna go into details of it because it's a small part of the story but Mushi comes in... mushi are these things that are not human, they are not fauna or flora, they're in between. And it comes into when there's no sound around. It burrows into the human's ears and eats their sound. I don't know if you remember that one. But, so it made me think about like, what is my sound? because I think this is connected to what music I'm drawn to. Because maybe that counterpoint or, or where's the harmony, from my sound to the sound from music. And in the show the woman who talks about it, her sound is lava, which is really intense sound to have to live with, holy. I asked my friend in Japan if it's a Japanese thing, and she said it's not but maybe regionally. I tried to find it, but there's probably not an English translation for it. But it feels pretty human. Like, I think it's pretty pan human probably that we can think about this. So I was thinking about like, my sound feels like if I feel into it, it's like the wind is collaborative. It's like the wind off of like a soft ocean, but it it has to go up into the trees too, like it's like this.woosh woosh. So when I thought about all the music I picked, I could hear it, I could feel it in it. So I'm curious if you've ever thought of that? Do you have a sound?

chris 13:34

That's an awesome question. I love the wind that you're talking about. The wind. I like wind in music. Sometimes I hear that a lot like Kate Bush's music, she creates these atmospheres. And a lot of her songs are about the mountain to go on top of the mountain. I would say a sound that I really resonate with is something I resonate most with is rain. So in a lot of my lyrics I'll use different words for rain like the typewriter rain tapped on the roof or the Fred Astaire rain or something like I'm always trying to get back to rain and I find it comforting and I live in a desert in so called Denver so we don't get a lot of rain. And, I also I like water too, sounds of water I find that calming, in Mushishi really has its soundtrack is very calming to the Anime. And I think it's the episode you're talking about when the mushi is in the pillow and going into people's ears, and the mushi turns into almost like conjis and it's dancing and going into people's ears or something. That one is so powerful. And one thing I really like about Ginko is he kind of does this mutual aid where he's going around town to town just helping people in educating and he's very introverted, he's not the most outwardly kindest person but Ginko has so much love in him. He just has a different way of his love language speaking.

carla 14:20

Yeah, everyone should watch Mushishi, or read the manga because they're equally as good if you need books.

chris 15:08

So good. Yeah, I love it.

carla 15:11

Yeah. And I think, yeah, we could we could do a whole show on Ginko

chris 15:16

That would be great.

carla 15:17

Because, ok just real quick the thing I always tell people why they should watch it is because there's no there's no judgment on the mushi or on the person who has it. The only judgment really is the people who don't help the person who's not well, that's the only time I see Ginko get upset with somebody is when they've done the wrong thing in terms of helping somebody, like they've judged them or something. And we could just all embody a bit of that we'd have a better world. You know?

chris 15:42

Yeah, I love that. I love that interpretation.

carla 15:45

Also, I need to say because any of my friends who are listening in family, I need to respond and say that rain is like, my favorite thing in the world. I did a whole project called rain. It stood for radical art in nature.

chris 15:58

I love that

carla 16:02

Yeah. rain is and I live in a rainforest. So I get a lot of rain. Yeah. So much of my son's music, Zach's music has rain in it. I am with you on that one.

chris 16:12

That doesn't surprise me. We have so many commonalities.

carla 16:15

I know.

chris 16:16

So I'm gonna start with Bob's, Talk to the Birds by Bob's Your Uncle.

carla 16:22

Okay, so this came out in 1985. I was living in so called Victoria, which is like the capital of British Columbia. And I was 18 just going on 19 and I hung out at a punk bar. With all the punk bands that played there that came through No means No, Dagloabortions, a lot of local people, but also Black Flag came through and so on and so forth. And when Bob's your Uncle came through, it was so exciting. First of all, a woman front person was really quite rare. A woman of color was even more rare in punk. And they were just they talk about joy, but it was also about feeling alienated as young people and poor people. And so it had that melancholic energy to it. And I bought their tape and I had a little yellow Walkman and I played it so much that it died. And she's at she's went on Sook Yin Lee has gone on to be she was like a vj for Much Music, which is the Canadian version of MTV which was really big back, and she was in Shortbus the movie. Now she's on CBC and does other stuff but yeah, I talked to birds I still do. I still talk to the birds.

Bobs Your Uncle 17:35

SONG: Talk To The Birds

chris 21:12

I love that song. When I heard this song, it really made me think just like the rebelliousness of school at first. Kind of imagine the teacher and then ditching class and then getting your real class from talking to some birds, or your real education from leaving school and going into nature. Also thought of it as an overarching ideology as well.

carla 21:40

Oh, yeah, say more

chris 21:42

Or just, they'll tell you, they tell you to do this, they say do this. But usually everything that they tell you to do with an ideology or hegemony is some form of coercion to get you to start renting somewhere, because you need to have all of these things, but you have to sell your time and your body for money. And people will tell you, well, if you don't have enough money, ideology, and capitalism says well get two jobs, you know, and they are always telling you something that's going to lead to more coercion instead of any form of liberation.

carla 22:19

Yeah, they're really fun. People should look them up. They have this one song. If I knew baking a cake or something. It's probably a cover. If I knew you were coming I’d have baked a cake. You know that song?

chris 22:30

Oh, yeah.

carla 22:31

Yeah, they do it really well

chris 22:33

Anything else you want to add on that song?

carla 22:36

Oh, just I mean, I think like, the big thing was that they were just, it was just really great to encounter them during a time when punk was really important to me. But alongside that in a city that racism is really, really ramped. I was just everywhere, Victoria is very British. Like you cannot always tell the difference between the skinheads and the punks. So I don't know. They were just really great.

chris 23:02

That's awesome. Thank you for showing me their music. Okay, so this song is by Organized Konfusion. Who is Prince Poetry and Pharoahe Monch. And they're, they're an older group. And Pharoahe Monch has turned out to be one of my favorite lyricists when I got older. And Prince Poetry was amazing. And this song is probably one of my biggest go tos when just feeling down or, or depressed or existential. Yeah, that song is just really deep. And it talks about these two fetuses inside of their mother. And they're kind of just rapping about life.

Organized Konfusion 24:07

SONG Invetro

carla 24:33

I love that one really speaks to that power of the joy. You know? Despite everything, be curious and dream. I Love it. And it also makes me want to move, which is like my criteria for melancholy joy music.

Chris 27:44

It's a great beat. I love it. And one of the lines that when I was re listening to this song is by Prince poetry, he says, “overshadowed in darkness where curiosity is my light.” And I just love that bar so much. And it reminded me of our conversation. But like the deeper, like a deeper meaning to this song is I don't know, it just makes me think about mortality a lot. And when my mom was pregnant with me, she smoked. And the whole time I resonated with what Pharoahe Monch was talking about. And he was born with asthma, actually. And I think he struggles with that during shows but is an amazing performer. And then another thing is when my mom I think was about eight, nine months pregnant, she fell down the stairs. And she landed on her stomach. And she was bleeding profusely and she was crying. She's freaking out. She went to the hospital. And the doctor told her that her baby was dead, which was me. And she needed to have it removed. And she was just in shock. So she left the hospital and was like, oh, I'll deal with this tomorrow. And then when she went back to her own doctor, they were like, No, your baby's alive has a heartbeat. So it must have been knocked out or something. I don't know.

carla 29:15

Wow, that is beautiful.

chris 29:17

Yeah. crazy story.

carla 29:21

So my mom was told that I wasn't gonna I was dead too. I wasn't gonna live.

chris 29:26

Wow. And

carla 29:30

yeah. She didn't have an accident. I was like, it was just, it was a situation and during labor. And they had to make a decision to save her or me, they chose her because obviously she had four children.

chris 29:44

Wow. Amazing. Thank you for sharing that story. That's so powerful

carla 29:50

Well same, I guess we really needed to be here.

Chris 29:55

Yeah,

carla 29:55

or wanted to be here

chris 29:56

Alright, so I'm going to play the next song, which is Don't Give Up by Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush.

carla 30:03

I mean, first of all, that hug in the video, just the beauty of the like friendship that they have for each other and the intimacy that's just so pure. I tried to post it early on in the pandemic, because I was like, Who else needs to see this all the time? But I kept getting taken down because I didn't have rights to it. But, yeah, it's kind of like an ethos that's run through my life. I even had a campaign during the Thistle days that I went around to all the schools me my friend, I probably shouldn't say whatever, it doesn't matter. We had stickers that said, don't give up quit. Because to me, it's like part of not giving up is not giving up on yourself. And so that means you sometimes gotta quit a whole pile of things. Especially with young people I like to frame it that way. And yeah, this song just when I'm at my like, lowest lowest point I always go to it I mean, I Gabriel is just so important when I was a teen and Kate Bush especially later on... also other people who have performed it with it. I loved it too like Paula Cole, who was his backup singer for years and then went on to her own career. Yeah, just, it's just a it's a it's a love story about friendship. I think a lot of people think it's about a romantic relationship but I mean she she even talks about like what your your your friends we have you we got you, you know? Yeah, somebody on the brink helped remember that friends. It's so good.

Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush 31:30

SONG: Don't Give Up

37:22

Yeah, I love this song

chris 37:24

Yeah, I love this song and I really hadn't really heard it much until you had mentioned it to me. And I've been listening to it all week. And yeah, you're right. It's like a love story about friends. So cool and people need to hear those words don't give up but they also need to hear you worry too much. Just move on with it. So those messages

carla 37:48

Yeah, and on a personal trajectory like that last part. When Gabriel goes into the big reveal walking across the bridge like that. I listened to that probably on repeat when I was making the decision to leave my family behind. And like I would put it on my headphones and walk over these bridges. Like, act it out, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. So yeah, just like finding belonging. They talked about that in the song. It's so powerful. And what gets me is that it is still powerful, you know, after all these years, because it's speaking to our alienation from each other. And

chris 38:28

Yeah, that's how you know, it's, it's so real. I think another thing really cool about Kate Bush, and she actually incorporates her family a lot in her music. You know, her son was the one who encouraged her to go back into performing live again. And then she has him on her last live album. He's singing like three different songs with her. And I didn't know he was the one who made her start doing live shows again, and his voice is awesome, too.

carla 38:55

Thanks for sharing that I had no idea about that. And of course, as you know, I collaborate with my kids so that..my eldest had everything to do with helping you pick out this list.

chris 39:07

Exactly. It made me think about that.

carla 39:09

And that's really nice. And he's actually a huge Kate Bush fan bigger than me, so that's really nice. I wonder if he knows he probably does. Sole actually texted me the other day and said, it must be amazing to collaborate with your kid like, holy shit.

chris 39:26

This song is by Andre 3000 from OutKast, and he's taken a big hiatus, aside from doing features and stuff. He's been just learning to play the clarinet and diving into jazz more, but he came back and did this song, I believe with James Blake, who did the piano and the song is another song that I go to. It's a heartbreaking song called Me and My To Bury Your Parents.

Andre 3000 - Me&My 40:05

SONG: Me and My

carla 43:48

I had never heard that song until I saw your list and it's really sad. But also has this thread of like I can feel the light in it , and the joy. I mean, personally, it may not think about my parents, but it made me think about my eldest brother who died. Who was like my... there's the chorus of me and my and my and they don't say, he doesn't say anything else. Oh, yeah, that.

Chris 44:14

Yeah. And when you mentioned that, I noticed today that he goes, me and my mother. At the end, he goes, me and my mother, me and my father, me and my, me and, and then me as he ends it, and I had never noticed that breakdown until today. It was like, gave me goosebumps.

carla 44:36

Totally.

chris 44:37

Yeah, and it's such a heartbreaking song. But yeah, you're right. It has this joy in it. It has this nostalgic joy of even though, you know, he had to bury his parents. He has these memories and he has love with them. And as we talked about, time not being linear, so much. That's the beauty of nostalgia and the beauty of music that can conjure those time frames.

carla 45:01

You have an album called Newstalgia, did you come up with that?

chris 45:05

Like at the time I thought I did, but I don't know if I really did. Because I think there's even a producer or a rapper that goes by the name Newstalgia

carla 45:13

Right. Well, first of all, I heard it. And what I liked about it, I think there's an eagle right over my head. PS like, five inches. Okay, we talked about this a lot on this Silver Threads podcast, because I'm really interested in like, grabbing stuff from like, from the past and the future. But making sure we weave it into right now in the present. And newstalgia just captures that in a way that I hadn't really, I didn't have a word for it. I was just like, grab the thread from there and there and make a thing. And that's what I hear in the song. It's really great.

chris 45:56

Yeah, that was my exact thought with the album. I was like, I’m such a loser. I'm always like, with nostalgia. I'm always going towards it. It's like, but you have to love the present too. And I was like, what if I you know, the present could feel like nostalgia. If you were making those, those memories and those feelings and feeling them as nostalgia feels in the present. I feel there's a danger of just going to nostalgia all the time.

carla 46:24

Totally. Yeah.

chris 46:25

At least for me.

carla 46:26

Same, that's where depression links. lingers. Yeah.

chris 46:32

Okay, we're going to go to Fast Car by Tracy Chapman

carla 46:36

We won't play this whole song.. cry. Well, first of all, Tracy Chapman is like, where I really learned my politics. You know, like, you know, I grew up in around a lot of punk music and stuff, but I have a joke where like, there's sex pistol anarchism, and then there's anarchism, right? Or anti authoritarianism or whatever. Anyways, Tracy is like her music just educated me in a way that the other punk didn't - she's just incredible. I saw her live. It was like the best thing ever, outside... And this song as someone who grew up pretty poor in a dysfunctional home and when I met my partner like it's just our song just everything about it. And you know, it is our trajectory like if he could just like give me the foundation I will take us places kind of thing and even after it's been moving together over 30 years and we still like hear it and go it's feels like yesterday, but we had to take this leap of faith together and run away or run towards joy in our life and yeah, it's just I think it's like a pinnacle melancholy joy song because it's a lot of loss wrapped up in it but it's also about freedom and liberation and finding your way.

Tracy Chapman 48:37

SONG Fast Car

chris 52:00

I love that song. The way that she goes from narration to heart so effortlessly is just amazing. I love the lyrics so much. And I was wondering when you said that, along with punk because I know you have a history with the punk scene, the different branches that Tracy Chapman gave you maybe with like a political vocabulary or outlook?

carla 52:26

Right, I mean, I guess it was just, you know, to borrow the phrase intersectionality I mean, that it had also had especially to that album, like it had a lot about forgiveness on it and love. And yeah, finding the path towards liberation versus just always in fighting against or negation. And that was something I really needed. You know, early on, when my brother was into punk, I used to say, I don't know how you can listen to this. It's just all negative. And like, No wonder you're depressed all the time. Like, you know, I listened to The Police instead. This is like 77/78. So finding her like she had that kind of like, you know, things are bad. Call things what they were, she was, you know, obviously, pointing out the horrors of the world. But within this framework of a container of like love and kindness, forgiveness, that was really beautiful. Like the other song on the album, though. Chris, my partner, when I met him he had played on the guitar. Three of the songs he played and sang.

chris 53:35

No way. That's awesome.That's so cool.

carla 53:40

I don't know. What about you?

chris 53:42

When I first heard this song, it really brought out a lot of the just the stories that you don't often hear about, of a really just class issues. And of course, race and white supremacy tied into these. But when you hear the the one that really resonates with me is the man who was drinking becauses his body, he felt had no more use, but his he was much too young for how his body looked... that's so powerful, just that, that phrasing of the way that she took it. And it really just made me think of when I worked in the Union. I worked in the stagehands Union for a while, right before COVID or year before COVID. And I was on the carpet duty which was a horrible thing. So I would lay miles of carpet a day in the convention centers for Comic Cons and stuff. And these guys that I worked with that had been there for years, they could only be comfortable when they were laying carpet when they were trying to walk out to the light rail station, it brought them horrible pain to walk and they had their legs had so much arthritis and stuff and these guys weren't even that old. It really, that lyric really resonated with me when I heard this again.

carla 54:56

Yeah, yeah, the working class stuff was really. It's a big part of why that song works for us.

chris 55:03

Do you want to add on this?

carla 55:06

Just that it had the theme of finding belonging again, which was like oh, there's that that's probably what's underneath all of my play song

chris 55:14

this story behind this song too, that you shared. So I'm gonna play the next song is miserabilism by Pet Shop Boys

Pet Shop Boys 58:12

SONG: Miserabilism

chris 59:20

The way I got into this song was actually when I started working from home during COVID. I've been laid off from my other job, and I started at the call center job I was talking about. And this was like a hellacious job in between calls which was usually only about 20 seconds. I would throw on I was like I'm gonna try to get through all these discographies of people I like, and I was like I was going through Pet Shop Boys, I had never heard the song it was on some B-side and I was like this song is amazing. It's because I've always thought that the whole Disney narrative has messed up so many people of this capitalist thing of working hard. There's someone for everyone you'll find love, all these things. They create a golden, a gold plated lust. That is a form of what they call love, and dusted with capitalism or something like that. And when he's talking about just that life will be disappointing and all these things and not having expectations. It's just so well said and comforting. I found, especially while working in a call center.

carla 1:00:25

Yeah, thanks for sharing that story and re-listening to that and hadn’t listened to it years, but there was a line in it. I think, I hope, it's in it. Oh, my gosh, it made me think: I wonder if this was some seeds around the melancholy thing of being like wearing it as a badge of honor because it there's that line where just for the sake of it, make sure you're always frowning It shows the world you're got substance and depth. Like I was quite judging of you if people were not melancholy. I was like, You can't be paying, you're just not paying attention. How many people are suffering?

chris 1:00:58

Yeah, that's actually yeah, that's the third verse. Yeah, it's it's one of my favorite lines, because it's just it's funny for one, but then yeah, it's kind of deep too. And it's like, there's a lot of people who, and I know there's so much to you know, different neuro divergence of sometimes people who smile the most are actually very depressed. I just like how he plays with this whole thing of you have to show that if you see someone frowning, they understand this philosophy of miserabilism. There's no happy endings just a message to depress and it's so funny and true.

carla 1:01:35

And it has a beat that makes you move so that the joy can move. Yeah, they always said the great dancy beats. Okay, so now we're going to Nat King Cole. Song Nature Boy. Oh, I didn't have the song on my first playlist. I think first one, I sent to you didn't have this. I do have it on the large original one. But I was on a walk with Zach and he reminded me that I sing the song all the time. When I am not doing well. And also because like love was like the thing like you centering everything in love is what actually got you healthy. It's not It's not about the negative and fighting back and Don't tell me what to do and don't want to do this and I don't want to it was all about actually more affirmative and really big fan of Moulin Rouge, seen it more than I want to admit and including seeing it in San Francisco at the Castro with everyone's with a sing along. So the song is just incredible and because there is the melancholic energy throughout it but you know, the message is so short and so quick, but it's everything.

Nat King Cole. 1:02:44

SONG: Nature Boy

chris 1:05:10

I think that is just such good advice, this song and I wish I would have heard this when I was young. The the message is so powerful. Oh, you were speaking of the Moulin Rouge

carla 1:05:36

Actually been there I haven't been inside but I've seen it outside of Paris - that's really good to know. Have you not seen the movie?

chris 1:05:45

I'm not in a long time. I haven't No.

carla 1:05:48

Yeah, it's we have a joke in our family that it's actually Christian that is actually the character not Ewan McGregor but the joke is a Ewan McGregor gave me a call tomorrow that I dumped the whole family. But it's it's really that character just heartache, and so beautiful.

chris 1:06:09

Love it. And this is the most common song that you you actually verbalize when you're stressed out?

carla 1:06:16

Yeah. that's one of those things I didn't even know I did it can reflect people you live with reflect back to you did this thing

chris 1:06:25

I love that your kid collaborated and got this song on here and then got this song into my into my heart in my mind. Okay, so I'm going to now play Sade - When Am I Going To Make a Living?

Sade 1:07:20

SONG: When Am I Going To Make a Living?

chris 1:09:56

So aside from this, it has been an amazing song, and I am a big Sade fan, when I was in high school, I stopped playing basketball, and for the school, and I broke my knee and had surgery and then to play basketball. So I started working at the hospital. And I was working at Rose Medical Hospital in Denver. And they had this free jukebox in the cafeteria. And this was one of the albums that was on there. And there was this this woman who I worked with in the cafeteria and in the kitchen and she showed me this song. And she was kind of like my real teacher, she was teaching me through Sade. She was saying, she would always tell me the line that the waste your body and soul if you allow them, and she was an older Black woman from the south, and she was like a mentor to me, she was like you need to do good in school, would talk to me about getting out of there getting out of the kitchen, if I could. So I was a pot washer, was probably there till I was 19, so probably about five years. And the jukebox had all kinds of other annoying albums. And this was the one that was great. I remember they had a Who let the Dogs Out by the Bahama Men, and it was a single, and this one cook he put in the code like six times to drive people crazy. And then we'd have to unplug the jukebox. But I really just learned a lot from this song. This song just has such a powerful message.

Carla 1:11:14

I love that story. Holy moly. Is that like layers? Yeah, she's amazing, big on the playlist of me, choosing joy over sorrow, really, at that time in 2001. And listen to her a lot. This song is really important for me too, because I was in the restaurant business for years. It's like generational, like my grandmother owned restaurants. And I was really good at it. And I was in Toronto and I was the the owner wanted me to open a restaurant with him in Vancouver and be partners and I was listening not to the song, but to some part of my playlists and other people and just like I'm gonna not be working class anymore which is a joke ,because you can't actually say you're not going to do anymore. But I decided that I had a retirement party. And I've never turned back. I've never worked in a restaurant since I was 35, I think it's just a really important message in there is just an important nuance because people like capitalists, what's that shit line of like, do what you love, the money will follow bullshit. But there's the thing with like working class folks that we do to ourselves where we don't we don't believe in ourselves and I love that in this line. But in that line in the song I think yeah, there's just a nuance in it that it's not about playing the capitalist game, but it's about believing in yourself so that you can find thriving. Yeah, thanks for picking it.

chris 1:12:49

Yeah. I love that. Thanks for adding that. We're doing the Holly Cole version. So this next song is I Don't Want to Grow Up

Holy Cole 1:13:26

SONG: I Don't Want To Grow Up

carla 1:17:00

Yeah, so this song has played a factor, since I was a teenager because the Ramones did it first, much more upbeat, funnier version. Really, I think, the perfect version for a teen to listen to, really resonated. I have fought so called adultism all my life in terms of the rigidity that I seen the suffering and whatever that meant. And then fast forward bunch of years, just after I gave birth to Zach my oldest son in 94. That's around when she came out with this album, she covered a bunch of Tom Waits songs. Which is funny because Tom Waits version is actually the one that resonates the most with me now because it feels so playful and he's older and I don't know I just relate to him more I think but this was really I was really stuck with what does it mean to not want to grow up in this way but be a parent and i just yeah, I listened to it often and with you know, my baby on my on my chest, thinking about it didn't give in didn't grow up in that way.

chris 1:18:09

I love those threads that you put through it. Yeah, I do. I think the Ramones is the the you know the most playful and then Tom Waits is kind of the middle, which Tom Waits is what Tom Waits is so good at, of being melancholy and playful and funny at the same time. And then Holly Cole just really brings out, takes takes away that sarcasm and you really just feel the the rawness of the lyrics, which is why I love this version it's Yeah, it's so powerful, but still resilient at the same time.

carla 1:18:40

Totally. Yeah. Tom Waits. Exactly. And I originally picked his version because it is melancholic joy. But the story is better.

chris 1:18:48

No, yeah, thank you for something that all together. We messed around and made a really good playlist.

carla 1:18:54

Yes. Totally fun. It was Yeah, melancholy joy.

chris 1:18:59

So I'm going to play the track Legends by Juice WRLD who recently passed away rest in peace Juice Wrld

Juice WRLD 1:19:06

SONG: Legends

chris 1:22:15

You can hear Juice WRLD’s, his heart and his music and his his soul and just the vulnerability of mostly Juice WRLD's music is so powerful and his voice the the beats that he uses too. And I really just resonate to the song because I don't know if it goes back to when my mom was smoking when she was pregnant, but my lungs, they they collapse randomly and actually collapsed four times one right when I turned 18, just back to back and then I had up surgeries. And the top lobes of my lungs had to be removed. And I was going in and out of the hospital for probably about a year or two. So I was always on dilaudid in the hospital, just messed up my head so bad. And then they would give me like percocets and all this. And, you know, it's essentially like battling with addiction of pain pills, just because I was depressed. But I didn't think I was I think that was the scariest thing. It just was like, Oh yeah, I'll take one because I have all these and I have a little bit of pain. And then it was turning into, you know, a hole to dig down that that was a dangerous hole. And I really just relate to what, what Juice WRLD’s talking about in this on top of this. And the things that he struggled with. I know there was another artist that was lost who had a similar vulnerability to their lyrics was Lil Peep. Couple years ago, too. It's just had this amazing way of writing too. And the lyrics that really resonate with me in the song is that I usually have an answer to the question but this time I'm going to be quiet. Ain't nothing like the feeling of uncertainty that eeriness of silence. And so powerful. When I work with a lot of youth in high schools, I know a lot of them relate to juice wrld too, because they're going in school at this time that's worried about school shootings, worried about climate change. So many existential things are already heavy on top of just being in high school, those feelings at the time. So there's just a lot of intersections and things that collide with this song and why I relate to it.

carla 1:24:25

Thanks for sharing about your story and being vulnerable. I am so sorry. That's a lot to contend with. Glad you

chris 1:24:32

Thank you.

carla 1:24:34

Yeah, music really helps, right?

chris 1:24:37

Yeah.

carla 1:24:38

I love that song, too. I actually had the same quote pulled out so not surprisingly, I just yeah, I had shared the list with Zach today. And he was blown away that the song was on it. And he was like, Oh, it's just too sad. Lil Peep and they're all dead...Yeah. But yeah, the love for each other, though that comes through in the song. Like about, you know, like the music will live on it's one of the things that writers die to like I'm like, I'm so grateful that I still have their their words to carry me, carry generations, not just me. I really like that in that too. Yeah.

chris 1:25:17

Yeah, and like one beautiful thing about art is that it literally saves lives. And I know that this song saves lives every day. And that's another thing of just beautiful art.

carla 1:25:30

Yeah. yeah

chris 1:25:31

Okay, so this next track is better by Burial. The new song is Untrue.

Burial 1:25:35

SONG: Untrue

carla 1:31:15

Feelings, feelings and saw because you girl, man Yeah, there's like many stories for this. I think probably why I I think probably why I chose it is in 2017 I got really sick and was in bed for about eight months. I love to dance. It's how I like how I move through being sad, and I couldn't dance. So I kind of came up with this plan that if I put a record on and laid on the floor, like on the hardwood floor, I would feel the vibrations of the music. And my body would get my Vegas nerve activated. Move. And Zach put on this and yeah, it just became like a healing theme song. Especially Untrue. And then during the pandemic, it just, you know, that feeling of being in quarantine and stuff and being stuck at home like, had a similar feeling even though I could physically dance. So, you know, I just listened to it every day. And I mean, we have all of Burial's stuff. But this is the one that I go to. And then I think I shared this with you. But Mark Fisher writes about a story about him writing this this particular song with his mom and him being really sad. I think if their dog his dog just died or something. And he wrote something, and his mom didn't like it and told him to like, just go make some tea and fuck everybody and do his work, find his passion or whatever. I can't remember the exact quote. It's really good. And that just made me love it even more, because he immediately went and wrote this song Untrue, and she loved it.

chris 1:33:02

And then it turned to be his breakout hit right?

carla 1:33:04

Yes.

chris 1:33:06

I love his story so much I had never known until you told me it's so cool. So when you started using the song kind of as a ritual for healing Did you notice a big difference right away?

carla 1:33:18

Yes. Sorry, the wind

chris 1:33:19

It’s fine. This episode is featuring the wind.

carla 1:33:23

Yes. Which is our sound?

chris 1:33:25

Yeah. It's a form of music. I mean, I first heard Burial, it was on a Thom Yorke remix and I just love the haunting syntha but it's still dancey and some my favorite type of music, a reason why I love the new wave so much and Trance and some EDM and stuff like that. I love that this pick is on the playlist. So next we're going to a Channel Zero Network friend, Tim who is Sole and the song is called Last Earth.

Sole 1:34:08

SONG: Last Earth

chris 1:36:22

So, for one, Sole is one of my favorite lyricists, one of my favorite writers, I don't know how many albums Sole has, it's gotta be, it's in the 20s it may be in the 30s, a prolific writer. And the reason I like this song is it has a melancholy joy to it. It's a lot of Sole's music does, but this is more of a dancey beat. It has William Ryan Fritch, from Sole and the Skyrider band singing with him. Just the beginning bars, so cool, I might be dead, but no flies on me. And he lived in Denver for a while. And we would often go to protests together. And I remember one day we were at one of these protests and he disappeared and he was arrested, kind of just for stepping off the curb for a second you know, the average blocking traffic or something. And the line all up in the cell talking FTP, is just so funny to me, but so Sole at the same time, and so true. And the just the way that he gets into other topics too, he says that's a bad trip, like when whites cross the sea, talking about colonialism, questioning dogma, which is something he does so well with his the way that he intervenes with anarchy and anarchism. And the course to the planet Earth, you don't belong to anyone, we will undo the feudal age. And then he always gets into little sci fi tangents as well like talking about the simulation theory or are we in a projection, and then the playfulness of Sole as well that sometimes he dreams he's flying through space to sees other just all these images of liberation will talking about desecration at the same time, which is I find inspiring and comforting and reflective.

carla 1:38:07

Thanks for putting the song on. I hadn't heard it. Already adore Tim/Sole. So I had pulled out similar lines as you but I'm the one in the chorus that we will die trying, I love so much because I mean that's that willingness, you know? I think like in all my social media bios I just wrote, I try... because I think that's like the least we, I mean, it's the most we can do actually. And I think isn't there like a Rebecca Solnit told me this, like, it's actually what an essayist is, like somebody who writes political stuff for the world is at the ideas you try. So just really gravitates to that, so hearing that in the song with that, with those lyrics, I was like, that's the point. That's the whole entire point is to try.

chris 1:38:53

It really reminds me of the whole, Sole always did the whole détournement of Guy Debord and kind of see this in three parts. So the first one being 50 cent, Get Rich or Die Trying. And then Dead Prez, they kind of did a détournement and they said Get Free or Die Trying and then Sole, kind of Sole is in that vein very much with his music of or we will die trying

carla 1:39:16

Nice connection. Nice weaving. took what I said, no grounding and grounded it Thank you.

chris 1:39:27

No way. I didn't even think of it. until you brought it up. So yeah, that's the beauty of collaboration. Oh, you're so nice. You picked our song for the last song, which is I've always loved the monsters by by me, Jason/Maudlin Magpie & produced by A Thousand Vows

Time (me), Jason/Maudlin Magpie & produced by A Thousand Vows 1:39:58

SONG: I've Always Loved the Monsters

carla 1:43:26

So I wanted to pick something on the larger playlist too I also just picked something that just came out from Kinnie Starr... I just really wanted to bring it current. I listen to this song more than I'd like to admit it.. thank you so much for creating it both of you. It just. Yeah, it does bring that melancholy joy because it roots me into like a lot of things. I mean, almost every line, it's something that I've like, pondered or thought about, not in the exact same way or not in the same poetic way. But one of the things I'm really trying to figure out is like how to get out of my head and be more present so that I can just live more of a thriving life and so much of my work was about like creating thriving environments and containers for people but then I overworked myself and didn't thrive myself. Then there's just you have that in there and, and on the one hand like, like, the Jason's melody, like, it's kind of this counter to it because it's it's like this dilemma that I have around like more thought is like, takes me way out of presence, but yet your thoughts do untangle it all for me. So anyway, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna put your lyrics back to you.

chris 1:44:37

I love that. Thank you, it's an honor that you feel that way. And to just give a little bit of context to this song is I had, I believe I've told you the story, but I had recorded this song, and this song talks about death like a lot of my songs which I get made fun of for. I had recorded this song. and it even says the one one day years hard will be beating the the next it might not be. And literally the next day, I got in a horrific car accident, almost died and had internal bleeding and stuff. And then my mind didn’t work that well for a while. It's such a severe concussion. And when I kind of came back to and I was able to write again and work on this album, I wanted to redo this verse, the song and Jason was like, no, that you recorded that. It's like, it almost was your last recording. Like you have to keep it. It's crazy. It's eerie. And maybe he's kind of a macabre person for wanting to keep it like it was but it was a good idea. But then I found out later that he actually wrote the chorus when I was injured pretty much, and he said he was kind of talking about how my mind is it always like can make a lot of connections and goes places so I was like wow, I never knew the chorus had to actually do with me and that he was worried about me when I was injured, so it kind of made, ties the song more together.

carla 1:46:04

Wow, that is probably what I've like it just has such it's so affectual like it's kinetic. Like I feel it in every way and also like I do a lot of work with my ancestral stuff and you just you cover it all like yeah my my sights.. What is it, my thoughts steal my sight? Oh man. Yeah, my daily. I apologize to my kids and my partner for that.. Yeah. Thanks for sharing that story. And I'm so glad you survived that accident. Yeah. And not to mention the title because we both love monsters.

chris 1:46:42

Yeah, no, definitely. That was that was the other thing of yeah, always, always love the Yeah, the monsters are not always the heroes of the stories or what's really strange is this last track that I picked by SBTRKT featuring sampha trials of the past is a song that actually was one of the ways I healed after my car accident. I didn't even think about how these lined up. I was I never took a day off of teaching after the car accident, which was a really dumb idea because I was throwing up after a lecture, anytime I use my my brain even if I read a text message, it would make me nauseous. And I was stubborn and took place in this debate I had already said I would go to on fracking, which I was glad I did because the fracking debate was horrible. And I threw up after that too. But this was a song that I would always listen to on the light rail. And it brought me peace and it made me feel free.

SBTRKT (feat. Sampha) 1:47:45

SONG: Trials of the Past

carla 1:51:15

I really like the songs, how does it help?

chris 1:51:19

Back to that thing where you say like it's just there, that vibe of this melancholy joy. For one, it's just the beats. I love this like tube synths in the minors in it and then some - Sampha's voice, it's just so soulful, and so calming and poetic. But when I would be on the light rail, and I was trying to get to like the front or the back of the car, and I stand up, and then I would pretend I was flying. And I didn't feel good, you know, because I couldn't really think, so I feel kind of weird too. I felt spacey. So I actually felt like I was flying above the light rail while listening to this over and over again for about a month. And then I love the second verse where he says I was always floating around the city, going with the flow without ever knowing where I want to be. So I got into crazy situations. And a loyal soldier who acts who acts who acts but never asks, that was my favorite line. And I just love that. And I know you and me, we really resonate about talking about questioning and questions.

carla 1:52:23

I really liked flying on my back, the looking down. Really, really related to that I think it has like it had this sense of like astral projection or something in it. I think there's some kind of like, beyond this physical realm. I mean, that's the joy. I think I pulled from it out of that.yeah

chris 1:52:44

Yeah, it reminds me of your story about Burial a little bit too, about how you were trying to get the nerve nerve activated going and like that form of dancing. And we had talked about in an email before this on other topics of what music is and music and ableism. And I was telling you about a friend I have who's a non hearing friend, and they told me, they were explaining to me about going to shows and that they enjoy going to shows where they can just feel the bass and the bass in their chest. And just the vibes of the energy of a show and all of those things. And just those things to consider when people are talking about music and ableism and all those things that tie in, and how music is part of everyone's realities.

carla 1:53:32

Yeah, thanks for bringing that up. It's really important. That's the thing like rhythm. Yeah, even a non hearing person they can feel it in their body. And I think that's really important because that's like I shared that quote. It's Zach's favorite quote the one about like that sound is you can't have music without sound but you can have sound without music and so therefore sound is more important. But it makes me think about that just opening up what sound is and how how we experience it and in even like a harmonic way or harmony way, like that's probably a whole other conversation that I'm probably not the best person to have it with because I don't really understand music, but just even the western narrow version of what music is versus the east. Just continues on the white supremist hegemonic road even what constitutes music.

chris 1:54:24

Yeah, like always trying to categorize and break things into binaries that are not necessarily. Going back to what you were saying about how you enjoy dance. And that's a way that you're able to express, just yeah, the music of that and just the rhythm of movement

carla 1:54:42

Even separating that in the West.

chris 1:54:47

I love that bird

carla 1:54:48

A little music

chris 1:54:51

And is a perfect book end because that's how we started it with talking to the birds.

carla 1:54:55

Yes. Nice. Nice. Did you want to say anything about your larger list before we wrap it up?

chris 1:55:03

Like the ones that I really picked on my extra was a song that I really grew up listening to which was Respiration by Blackstar. It's talking about the city and the beat by Hi Tek is really contemplated and I love like the poetry of Mos Def (Yasiin Bey). I had Prince on there, which we're both big Prince fans, I have a lot of jazz that was on there like Archie Shepp, big Tom Waits fan like you were talking about. So I had stuff from nighthawks at the diner, which was, you know, kind of a play into our newest album Nighthawks at McCoys, Stevie Wonder is one of the greatest of all time, I just love, everything Stevie does, going back to the hospital when I worked there, Frankie Beverly and The Maze of a co worker taught me about them in the song Joy & Pain ties in so much into this. And then the Priests, I really love the Priests and their music in Earth, Wind and Fire, one of the members from Earth Wind and Fire's from Denver. I am a big Frank Ocean fan as well. New wave, so Joy Division, and I probably end up putting a New Order or someone else on there if we kept going with this playlist.

carla 1:56:08

Well, I did 13 so you can add a couple more. I'm so excited to share this list. I'm gonna start with the couple that like we're in that we got booted out of the top seven which is Sun Ra, Blue Soul, So I mean, I just, I don't know, I feel like I'm from another planet most of the time, so I really relate to Sun Ra's stuff and, and really get lost in it. And then Sinead O'Connor really, really important. I mean, her and Tracy Chapman, you know, are my political educators. Oh the song that I kicked off right away was for the one that Zach told me to do nature boy, but This is for Life from Luka Bloom. I don't know if you know his stuff, but he's Irish. Just an incredible singer, singer songwriter, and it's really about a song during the troubles where a man or woman fall in love and he gets put in prison because he kills somebody. But they stay together despite it all and it's all about time and how he can't actually watch the moon because he's in jail and it's really really sad but there's like a beauty about it that they commit to life together their love their love is going to transcend this physical distance. Yeah, so and Prince, of course, it was really hard to pick a Prince song. I was really wanting to do something from his early stuff that Purple Rain is the one that had to be and then The Cure. Aw, man, I probably listened to Cure like three times a week because it's a dance. It's not you know, it is melancholy Joy to the max because it has the beat to dance. But the songs are so sad. Sigur Ros is another, all of it. It's my every time I go on a flight. I listened to Sigur Ros. I love it. The Police's like circa you know, teenager, I just felt completely lonely. It's from their first or maybe their second. I thought it's from the first album. And then I have a couple jazz stuff on there to Steal my Joy from Lee Williams. Do you know that song? So good

chris 1:58:09

No, no.

carla 1:58:11

it's about not stealing, It's like don't steal my joy is actually the song

chris 1:58:15

Nice.

carla 1:58:17

Sounds really, really beautiful. And then of course, At Last lost I borrowed from a friend who did a playlist about hope and Rebecca Solnit actually, she had it on there. Because she's you know, sometimes sometimes we have to wait for it. Sometimes there's patience in the fight, in the build. So I thought it was a good one in terms of ending my playlists. Sometimes the Joy has you have to wait a bit.

chris 1:58:45

I love that.

carla 1:58:46

They cover them all. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, Walkabout real quick. I love Atlas Sound. And I really wanted the song on the film I made about the purple thistle and I went through a lot of networks to get it but of course, you know, you're in the business. He didn't he doesn't actually have rights to the song so I ended up not using it but yeah,

chris 1:59:05

on dang. Yeah, I love your extras on here.

carla 1:59:10

Oh my god. I missed Sour Gout. Yeah, that's my kid. It was hard to pick but I picked the one that resonated the most. He's written a couple songs for me. I should probably have done one of them but had a lot of rain in it.

chris 1:59:26

Awesome. All right, carla. Well, I'll talk to you soon. Bye

carla 1:59:30

Bye.

1:59:32

Thank you for tuning into this episode of the time talks podcast part of the channel zero network. Please check out carla bergman work and support their endeavors. Links to carla's works are in the show notes. Please send me an email and tell me some songs you listen to when you're feeling blue, or share a playlist with us. My email is [email protected]. thanks to awareness for the music, share the show around, rate it up and give someone some water. peace.

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