#i guess i can see where people are coming from... but a lot of people who say this don't seem to be aro and/or ace

[rodolfoparras]

due to again retail busy and I forgot how dumb and infuriating people can be and I have a fucking short fuse of an anger— have this before the smut for build up sugar cube :) again, merry Christmas to everyone here, I hope y'all are having a much better day, just wanna know how actually I'm proud to see the anons here saying great things they have achieved, including you Alec because moving into a new house especially where you feel like now you don't have to restrain from anything is a great feeling I can understand and I hope your staying safe out there (quite literally)

It started off as a joke. Really.

You stayed behind with some rookies after training them, a lot of them have questions from diet advice or their perks and Price was there due to needing to ask you for that report you were meant to write on his last mission.

Sure, kids are young, they'll let their mouth fly pass like a damn wind. Price understands that, but—

"Colonel, look at this reel, it's so funny." It was a video of a hairy male who at first mouthing lyrics to a rather ludicrous song about nasty acts, to when it suddenly transitioned to him wearing a bra that somehow perfectly cups his chest to look like a woman's.

The other, more sensible recruit of course elbowed his friend for showing this kind of thing to you, their superior— but Price didn't miss that subtle smirk you had and once glance towards him and his chest. To which that leads to here. Price still checking himself up in front of the mirror, after that day he impulsively bought a pair of blue sets of panties and bralette.

Insecurities makes him feel funny in this, even humiliated— sure, he could have read the room wrong, and god knows where'd his career he if it's true but... this could be a perfect chance for him to gain your attention, not as superior to subordinate, but with lust. He had fantasized too much on how your rough hands would feel like, that's for sure.

Price puts on his military suit again, the feeling of cotton material rubs against the thin lacy undergarments just puts a reminder on what he's doing— he needs to play his card right and maybe... *he'll get more than he bargaining.*

With that, Price knocks on the door of your office, taking a deep breath before straightening himself. In the back of his mind, doubts and doubts flood in— but the feeling of silk rubbing against his chest and the fullness of the plug nestled between his ass is enough to make him stay put and stand tall.

A low grumble was heard before the door swung open. You were there behind him, in your military suit as usual, looking down at him with an expectant look "Price, what is it?" You asked.

Price takes a gulp at the sight of you then, fuck he wants you. "Colonel, can I talk to you in private?" You nodded at that, letting him in and you closes the door behind him. "What is it?"

"Can you lock the door? Make sure no one's around?"

'I guess it's that confidential of a detail for a mission.' Is what you thought as you take a glance around before locking the door, hearing something shuffling and rustling behind you. "Price, is something the matter—" You didn't even get to finish your sentence as you were met with a sight of Price hurriedly stop undressing his military suit, revealing a skimpy lace bralette underneath, chest hair protrudes the cloth.

"I— was gonna say don't turn around.. yet."

Jesus Christ. You didn't know how long you were standing there, Price's hand still frozen by his belt before he looked down to see a dark stain in front of your straining bulge that look like it hurt. Oh. Did you just came, by just looking at him like this? He didn't know it'd work this well, or is it because it's him?

"Colonel?" "Ye— fuck, yeah?"

"Don't you wanna have a closer look?"

Let's just say, his confidence went racking up ever since that day and how others notice how often Price came by your office, often coming out with a satisfied look, and a limping legs.

Perhaps a hint of lace if you squint your eyes at the opened button on his chest.

🪂

AWOOOOOO AWEOOOOO AWEOOOO WEEPOOOOO IM GOONG YO LISE MU MIND IM GOING TO OOSE MY DAMN MIND LET ME ON LET ME IN LET MEN I RN

[your-unfriendlyghost]

Johnny cade for the "give me a character" thingy cuz I love him :3

How I feel about this character

  I love Johnny, man. Very simple feelings ‘bout him, but yk, I love him. I don’t often…spin him ‘round in my brain like I do with some of the others, but I have a lot of strong opinions abt him and I love him lol

All the people I ship romantically with this character

  I occasionally ship him with Dally, but only occasionally. Idk they’ve got something goin on but idk what lol. I definitely don’t see them as an older brother and little brother, although I get where people are coming from- idk though, that’s like the least interesting take on their whole…deal for me I guess? I (personally) don’t think Dally and Johnny are brotherly/parental at all, and reducing them to that means losing out on the much more interesting (I think) dynamic that they do have- like Dally can’t be vulnerable with anyone BUT Johnny, and Johnny is at his most confident with Dally. And he has power over Dally that no one else does. It could be romantic or platonic for me, but the important thing is that they’re equals imo. I mean c’mon, only one of them’s canonically stabbed a guy to death, and it ain’t Dally. They’re tied together somehow idk man

  I sorta like the idea of Johnny and Sylvia being something tho. I don't think abt it much, but it adds something morally bad to a character that’s supposed to be purely good that I find fascinating. Not the sorta ship I ship per se, but one I like toying with sometimes because there’s so much to unpack there ig. I don’t usually see it as canon but I sometimes like it.

  Finally, I read this GUT WRENCHING fic one time where Johnny was who Sandy cheated on Soda with. I…really liked that fic. The ship hits a lotta the same notes as Johnny/Sylvia but explores Johnny and Soda…idk man again not the sorta thing I usually see as canon but holy shit the fic kinda blew my mind lol. It’s here if y’all wanna check it out- mind the tags and all. It’s a rarepair but it KILLS me man. It ain’t…canon to me, but I think abt it sometimes (the ship and the fic) and just feel things idk. (Part of that is probably b/c I love Soda, but yk)

My non-romantic OTP for this character

  Uhh Dally also honestly

  I mean Johnny and Pony are close too, but I really don’t see them as BEST friends. Ik a lotta people do which is perfectly valid, but in my head they’re…not? I dunno. They’re definitely friends, but TO ME it’s in the way that I’m friends with kids who I’ve grown up with who are like cousins to me now- we’re close, and I know they have my back, and I could tell them anything if I really wanted to, but I probably won’t unless we’re alone together in a church for a week. (@veggiesforpresident just talked abt them earlier today here, and she put it into words a helluva lot better than I am rn- definitely check that out)

My unpopular opinion about this character

He’s tough. I mean everyone knows that, but I’m not massively fond of fics/art that portray him as small and soft. Like sure, Pony sees him that way, but to the rest of the world Johnny is a hood. He may be small, but he can fight. He loves drag races, man!

  Idk, Ralph Macchio put it best in this behind the scenes book I own: 

  “Johnny was always described as the runt of the greaser litter- the one they all protected. However, as the story unfolded he became the most level-headed and clear-minded in the face of adversity. I always recognized that in him even from the first reading of the book at age twelve. I am biased, but he is one of the richest and fully drawn characters in the ensemble.”

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

  I’m biased b/c I love Soda but I woulda loved to see him hanging with Soda. Really the rest of the gang in general (not that there was time for that lol), but it’s canon to me that Johnny was friends with Soda first. Eventually they diverged and became close to Dally and Steve respectively, but in elementary school it was Johnny and Soda. 

  (On the other side of the coin, I like the idea of Dally and Steve having had a bit of a fling that they don’t talk about as a way of repressing their romantic feelings for Soda and Johnny respectively. But that’s not always canon to me lol.)

[golvio]

Finally got around to seeing all of Apotheosis’ new endings, and I’m still sitting with it days later.

OG Apotheosis was among the bottom of my Princess ranking list since I guess I’m not into the whole Domination bit as some other prople, though I figured there was more to her based on what was already there. However, I wasn’t ready to have my suspicions confirmed in such a viscerally upsetting way in the Paranoid version of the “make her feel what you felt” ending. Like…as initially satisfying as finally forcing her to stop hurting you felt, it stopped feeling like a victory when you actually saw what you’d done to her. You stop feeling like a helpless victim when you understand just how hollow she’d felt inside despite her boasts and your perception of her as untouchable and unstoppable helped reinforce this armor she’d built around herself.

She may have cruelly lorded over you to compensate for her own feelings of helplessness back when she was at your mercy, but you were the one who gave up and ceded all control to her in the first place. Your relationship is a conversation, not a one-sided Pygmalian molding of an empty blank slate, and the two of you built that abusive relationship and unbalanced power dynamic together. On one hand, the prison of your own mind within the role you assigned yourself is far harder to escape than any physical jail and can operate even in her absence, to the point where acting against its oppressive rules seems so impossible that it feels like “madness.” On the other hand, no one is actually keeping you there but you.

This ending and Fury’s “pacifist” ending feel like funhouse mirror reflections of each other—each hurts the other to try to force them to understand the harm they’ve caused and get an apology, but by hurting each other they diminish each other, by hurting each other they hurt themselves. Becoming the warden of the jail where you’re also held prisoner can only give you the illusion of control and freedom, at best. Any “victory” in such a power struggle, no matter how initially triumphant, is ultimately a Pyrrhic one.

And then there’s the “Grace” ending. As much as she’d hurt you, in her last moments, instead of selfishly clutching you to herself tighter for comfort, she hurls you towards the exit, giving you a single chance for a mad, impossible dash towards freedom. She didn’t have to do that, and ultimately there was no point in doing that because the hole she opened sealed itself back up before you could reach it, but she still did it. Despite her embracing her role as unstoppable, untouchable goddess to flee from the memory of her original weak, vulnerable self, deep down she didn’t actually want to hurt you. She missed you and wanted to be with you again, but since all she knew was domination and subjugation, she only knew how to express that through trying to paternalistically control you. When the chips were down and she was being reassimilated into the Cosmic Spaghetti of Shifty’s incomplete form, she finally relinquished control and was able to express her true feelings selflessly.

That…gave me some very conflicting feelings. Don’t get me wrong, I love when finding out more about characters I initially disliked makes me feel all conflicted. It’s just…a lot. Woof.

There’s also this theme of being “trapped inside yourself,” in this case literally when it comes to two fragments of gods living out an allegory for their own imprisonment. It may be true that the Vessels are only incomplete pieces of The Shifting Mound who weren’t meant to function on their own, but Shifty herself is so vast and all-encompassing that each of her pieces is complex enough to be a functioning individual in her own right, which is especially true of the Chapter 3+ Princesses, who’ve developed so much from their experiences that they feel much more like “real,” multifaceted people. If you find Tower/Apotheosis first, then reach Shifty’s heart, the Princess you find there is the version of the Heart that feels most like she’s her own person separate from Shifty, and rejects Shifty’s idea of godhood. Her rejection of “labels” after her being constrained by Shifty’s parameters feels a lot more meaningful as a result.

On top of that…now you understand what it feels to be trapped inside of a “bigger, more Important” version of yourself. If The Long Quiet is you, then your godly meta-body is also the prison that’s keeping both the conscious, individual, mortal You trapped along with the Princess. It’s not like you can just get up and leave because you have no conscious control over this part of yourself. And when you do wake up, you risk losing yourself as you are now to integrate into that greater whole. Is that really worth it, or is there another way that doesn’t require giving up your individual existence? It’s like the flipside of The Empty Cup, too, in terms of foreshadowing the possible “Third Way” you can escape without embracing godhood and staying trapped within yourself, within the role you built up for yourself.

[adormeee]

Meddle about

Fratboy!Matt & Shy!reader(readers named lana)

꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ

As you settle into your seat a few minutes before class starts, (you’ve always liked coming to class early to organize your desk area) you take out your wired headphones to listen to music while taking notes. You’ve always liked them more than airpods because they’re not as easy to lose.

The bell rings and class starts, you start writing down what the teacher writes. You look for your pink highlighter before you realize it’s somewhere in your backpack, so quickly retrieve it.

As you do so a few knocks are heard from the door, mr. Harris walks over to see who it could possibly. “Mr. sturniolo! it’s great to have you.” Your teacher says sarcastically “sorry mr i was us-“ “using the restroom” they say in unison. The class laughs at this interaction.

As Matt starts to walk to his desk mr. harris stops him “Sturniolo i would like to have you switch with someone” he thinks for a moment. “ah could you switch with Diana.”

Your head turns to see Diana’s expression, shes been your desk buddy since the semester started and she’s also your closest and only friend. “But Mr. Harris I haven’t even done anythingg” she whines.

“Thats another reason on why you will switch with matt, you need to focus better up here and he can get help from lana, isn’t that right lana?”

“oh -uhm yeah mhm” you answer him “Great it’s settled please hurry and switch he have a lot to cover today and a project to discuss.

As they switch seats matt settles in the back to where Diana was previously sitting. He takes out his textbook before he looks for a pencil or something he can use to write with.

After he can’t find something he looks next to him seeing you have two mechanical pencils on your desk. “ ‘ya think i could borrow a pencil” he whispers “ uhh yeah sure” as you pass him a pencil. His fingers graze your hand for a moment before you turn back and start writing your notes.

He stares at you before turning to write down his notes.

໒꒰ྀི ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ྀི১

The class instinctively groan all together, “settle down settle down! class don’t get to excited” mr. harris chuckles at his own joke, you also let a slight laughs out too before covering it up with a cough. Matt looks over at you slightly smiles. “i’ll give you guys a week to do some research and making it into google slides, please use the time to look over your notes and making it look nice i don’t wanna see last minute work.”

The class is about to get up to pick their partners before mr. harris blows his whistle. “I would like if you guys would work with your desk buddies it would be easier for me.”

Some people would try to argue but reluctantly agree. Matt on the other hand doesn’t have much care, he thought you would do all the work since you seem smart enough to figure it out.

“so umm- do you wanna start researching some pictures we could use in the project while i do some research about the Neolithic Revolution since we have like 10 minutes left in class?”. Matt looks up from his phone his eyebrows furrowed.

“Oh shit uh yeah i guess i thought we would do this a day before were supposed turn it in.” he scratches his neck awkwardly not wanting to you the full truth. “I would prefer to start now so we wouldn’t stress about it later on” you tell him.

They spend the last few minutes of class doing research and organizing how many slides they will be doing and it what order.

The bell rings and matt is already on his feet before he hears his name, almost missing it. “Matt! -you still have my um pencil.” he quickly takes it out from his side pocket of his backpack.

“also i wanted to know if you wanted to work on this in the library or at each others houses i- i don’t mind.” you awkwardly look down at your feet.

“We can work on it at the library I just might take a while since i have to pick up some stuff from my locker.”

You give him a quick nod indicating you understand to which he smiles and walks away.

໒꒰ྀི ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ྀི১

You’re in the library for a good 20 minutes looking through your notes and writing them down in your google slide, sometimes checking the time wondering where matt could be.

Matt is speed walking to the library hoping you didn’t leave, he wanted to stay true to his word and make it to the library. He finally arrives he’s looking around the library walking towards the back, hoping you stayed.

He sighs in relief when he sees you, he stands there for a minute he’s in awe you have this natural glow that can pull anyone in. He is quick to dismiss it before he walks at the table your at.

“Hey, m’sorry im late i got caught up.” You smile up at him “no you’re good it gave me some time to organize some of our work” you turn your computer towards him so he can see what you’ve been working on.

“wow that’s a lot for like what 30 minutes?” “20 actually” you’re quick to correct him “sounds like someone’s been keeping up with the time” he chuckles at you “me? neverrr” you tell him sarcastically.

You guys spend an hour working your project, his gaze sometimes lock in on you as you spoke even when you got of topic and started to apologize numerous of times which made him smile and chuckle at you.

You guys finally wrap up the bit of work you both have done. You both walk in sync to the parking lot, once outside you start walking towards the exit of the parking lot plugging your headphones into one ear.

“Wait you don’t have a ride?” you turn to him “no my car broke down so i have to walk!” you exclaim “let me drive you home, my treat for making you wait.”

You hesitate before reluctantly agreeing you follow him to his car, you open the door to the passenger side sitting down as he starts up the car, “sorry for the mess” he chuckles “no no your good” you smile at him before looking out the window.

There’s this silence as he starts to drive you to your house after you told him where you live. Rain starts to pour harder and harder by the minute feeling up the silence in the car.

“The rain is really starting to pour luckily you had me.” he smile looking at you for a moment before looking back at the road. “yeahh” you slightly giggle. “Shit i think i might need to pull over i can barely see the road.” you look at him worried is written all over his face.”

You guys pull over to an empty parking lot. You both sit in silence as the rain starts to pour harder.

“Soo… you have any siblings?” matt questioned as he looks at you “ Matt you don’t have to make conversation with me it’s okay if you don’t wanna talk to me out of school don’t force yourself.”

Matt frowns at you i mean he knows you guys are completely different from each other (popularity likewise) but he wasn’t that mean unlike his brother chris.

“No lana im being serious i wanna get to know you i mean we are working on a project together so might as well use the time to get to know each other” he leans in closer his elbow on the center console. You bite your lip before picking at the skin of your nails.

You’re really not used to talking to anyone other than Diana so this whole situation feels a little weird. “I guess i just don’t want you to be seen talking to someone like me.” Matt’s eyebrows furrow “ to be seen talking to someone like you? what is that supposed to mean?” “ you know what it means Matt.”

“No i really don’t” you sigh “it means you will get teased by your friends by being forced to talk to me.” Matt scoffs “Oh cmon Lana you think they could do something please they are all bark no bite.”

You quietly laugh feeling a comfort in his words. “And plus if anything i think they would get jealous that i’m talking to a pretty girl like you.” you blush at his kinds words “you don’t mean that your just bein’ nice.”

He leans in closer his face inches away from you “I can prove it if you want doll” your breath hitches you’ve never kissed anyone and never expect it to be Matt.

Matt doesnt know what overtook him, he’s usally never the one indicating the kiss but with you he feels something different something more calmer.

He finally closes the gap smashing his lips against yours. He tastes your cherry lip balm your soft lips trying to work rhythmically with his. His had moves you jaw holding you steady in place.

He pulls away slightly “You’re really fucking pretty you know that?” before he starts to suck your neck softly. You whine at the pleasure of his lips on your skin “Matt…” “ yes- “ kiss “doll?” kiss. The kisses, his calm voice making you feel all kinds of things, “we- hmm.. -we can’t” you pull away from him.

His fucked out expression looking so desperate for you or maybe to just be touched “I don’t wanna be part of your roster of being another girls pants you’ve gotten into, we both know we won’t be anything more than what we are now.”

You hesitate before you tell him your biggest secret “i’m also a -um virgin.. so i’ve never really never done any of this and i don’t don’t think i’m ready.” you tell him looking down at your nails avoiding his gaze.

“But i- Lana-” you interrupt him“The rain seemed to calmed down just please drive me home Matt.” you just wanna get out of this awkward situation.

He complies as he starts the car and drives to your place. Once he arrives at your drive way you tell him ‘bye’ before exiting his car. He watches you as you walk away thinking about what happened earlier.

He can’t get the feeling of your soft lips on his the noises you made because of him out of his mind, he pops his train of thought before pulling out the driveway and back to his place.

Meanwhile you let out a shaky breath you didnt know you were holding in. You greet your mom who was in the kitchen before heading upstairs pondering your time with matt wondering how tomorrow could go.

꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ ꣑ৎ

a/n : starting a short lil seriessss!! 🙈🙈🐰(also the picture of the girl is a reference photo for the readers outfit!)

taglist: @mialovesyouchris

[green-socks]

2024 fic reading stats / AO3 Wrapped - Reader Edition

Last April I got the idea that I wanted to, in some form, get a better understanding of how much and how often I read fic, and some other stats as well. Obviously I knew the answer was a lot and often. But you know the urge to make lists and sort things when you're stressed? Yeah, that hit, so I started up a spreadsheet starting May 1st. In my spreadsheet I logged the date I had read the fic, the fic's title, author, fandom, ship, rating, and word count. I also added the AO3 link to the fic which has proven handy in looking up recs and stuff like that!

I just wanted to share some of those stats now that I've made lil graphs to go with them and everything lol

Starting with the totals:

Last year, from 1 May to 31 Dec, I read about 3,928,191 words of fanfic. (Now, that's the logged amount, but it's not... perfect. I won't go into detail but let's just state that that amount is still very telling!)

Total of different fics I read during the logged time was 478. (There are 479 logged entries but one of them was a reread, so.)

The most amount of entries for a single day was 8, and it happened three times lol. Two of those I know I was sick but idk what that third day was, probably a wonderfully lazy sunday.

Authors:

I logged at least 141 different AO3 authors. (Some people using several pseuds may have confused my count a little but give or take a couple!)

Here I have to shout out @fuddlewuddle because if I read 478 fics, 93 of those were hers. I don't even know what to say except that I'm glad our freaks match each other <3

A fun thing to note was that I myself made it on my top 10 list of "favorite" writers based on the amount of fics logged because I reread my own stuff frequently enough! That's kind of uplifting to think about. If sorted by word count, however, I am farrr from the top, because I tend to write shorter fics :D But I'm happy to keep it that way!

Fandom:

Showing off some percentages based on the 478 logged fics. Ahem, as you can see, Top Gun continues as the ruling fandom in my life, but there were some new smaller fandoms coming in as well! And that strange, two movie fandom fusion is, of course, courtesy of Fuddle...

If I were to sort these by word count instead, the percentages would stay pretty much the same, except Other fandoms would give a tiny bit of its slice over to Ted Lasso.

Ship:

Again, this is based on the total of 478 logged fics. Quelle surprise, I'm a hangster girl and there's a lot of that on the market, so 183 out of those 478 were hangster fics. Other ships here entails multi-ship fics (where the ships are equal instead of clear main ship & background ship type of thing), poly ships with a number of varying character combinations, and ships that had less than 5 logged fics with it as the main ship.

(The tiny red dot says roykeeleyjamie and it had 6 logs in total. The purple dot with the name not fully showing is macheresin with 10 fics.)

Rating:

This is again based on the total of 478 fics.

My own writing stats:

I posted 18,687 words' worth of fic last year (though some thousands of words haven't made it to AO3 yet, but were still written last year). As you can see, I am still very much a reader rather than a writer, but it's the best of both worlds, getting to do both!

Overall, I thought this was a fun experiment, and I'm going to keep up with my spreadsheet for the new year – because what is life without spreadsheets, really.

Guess if I realized I had forgotten to log at least one longer fic after finishing up the last of those graphs!!!! Sighhh

[fulcrums501st]

EXACTLY!! they try to retroactively change what the ACTUAL dispute between the dads was about. They pretend like it was about a petty personal falling out when in reality it was: what is worth independence? it’s their clash of ideology, two opposing ends of a spectrum about how to resist their oppressors and what will be best for their people.

But now s2 makes it seem like it was the equivalent of a misunderstanding and feLicIA and iF siLCo hAD jusT FouND tHe leTteR when that was not even what their issues were. You can argue that nothing they do directly directly contradicts s1 cuz there are loopholes to work around what they imply to make it sorta make sense (lots of other stuff could have happened in the au, Jinx made an inaccurate assessment of the letter’s significance, etc) but the fact that they let these inaccuracies slip and furthermore don’t explore these themes regarding Silco/Vander or Zaun/Piltover etc in s2, points to a larger issue of the season retroactively trying to change the narrative away from politics. Plus the audience shouldn’t be purposely misled to believing these inaccurate depicting of Silco/Vander conflict. It’s cheap, and blatantly leads the audience to misremember s1 and by extent, forget s1’s themes about it systemic oppression. cuz s2 wants to forget that this conflict exists and does everything it can do avoid it.

Cuz fEliCIa and Vander trying to kill Silco is NOT why the events of ep3 occur, it was WAY more than some petty revenge on Vander. It was about ZAUN.

Silco prioritizes independence more than the community and is willing to make sacrifices the “base violence necessary for change” while Vander is not. They both have reasoning that they learned from their experiences. We understand where both of them are coming from and there is no clear “best way” to go about dealing with topside.

Silco literally wanted to recruit Vander in ep3. He says himself he still respected Vander even after he betrayal cuz he understood why he did it so some extent. He loses respect for Vander once he gives up on Zaun, on their shared dream, and starts working with enforcers to keep the bare minimum of peace. THIS is the true betrayal, cuz Silco sees this as Vander betraying all the principles that they stood for, and that is unforgivable. It’s only when Vander refuses to join, a final confirmation that Vander has become weak and lost sight of the cause, that Silco is like “alright you hypocrite, well guess I gotta kill you so I can take over now. you had your chance” etc

Silco and Vander’s whole conflict of revolutionary ideology is honestly the most political part of s1 and then s2 wants to be like “actually, their dispute was never about politics” cuz s2 wants to forget all the political themes they set up in s1

ARCANE: Silco & Vander ↳ “Everything might have been different.”

[bayetea]

there are many things about hazel's povs that have an intensely de-racialized vibe to them (read: divorced from the black girl experience) but I think any black person will tell you that the most obvious sign is the complete lack of attention paid to her hair

like firstly:

she's from the 1930s her hair was definitely getting permed and straightened (it was not acceptable to just wear your natural hair out back then. optics + cultural assimilation/you'll be hard pressed to find photos of black american girls with unstraightened hair in that time period unless they're from like..... harlem)

I do believe that marie was straightening it for her For A Time but then she became more neglectful and stopped so hazel had to do it herself. I'm almost positive that hazel wouldn't have even been permitted to set foot in her school building without straightening it because that's just how much of an expectation it was

ok she comes back from the dead. what's she doing to her hair now bc it's not just gonna be cutesy effortless curls falling over her shoulder no matter what the length is

how does she feel about living in a time period where natural black hair is more accepted (read: more, absolutely not fully)

there are no black people around her At All. in fact she's around a lot of white people on the argo (+nico) so that would probably be giving her some intense feelings of double consciousness (look this term up if you don't know what it means) and that would inform how she feels about her hair

theoretically she ought to be wearing her hair in braids for simplicity's sake but I think it's more likely that she would cling to what she knows (perming/straightening) because it's not easy for a 14 year old girl (PSA hazel is 14.5 in hoo not 13 btw 👍) to go from assimilating to deeply-ingrained white hair beauty standards to just proudly wearing a distinctly black hairstyle all by herself

mind you black women and girls can do whatever they want with their hair and straightening/perming it does not always/have to come from a place of self-hatred or whatever but in this particular case back then straightening one's hair was political And a survival tactic. it was as normal as brushing your teeth. it was enforced through dominant cultural messagings about the Absolute Necessity of conforming to white conventions of beauty. if you don't understand then think of it similarly to how you'd think of 1930s women needing to be perpetually dolled up and modestly dressed in order to be considered "good women" and anyways I'm just saying that this would be a lot to unpack for a 14 year old girl so hazel's probably just continuing to do this impractical thing (straightening her hair all the time) like 60% out of habit and 20% out of shame and 20% she doesn't know what else to do

something something about a missed potential character arc regarding all of this and in general there's so little mind paid to race in hazel's povs which is just ridiculous to me because a black girl from the jim crow era should have at least a few feelings about where she fits into modern society even if that society is camp jupiter. rick demonstrates his capacity to talk about how his characters feel about their race most notably in the kane chronicles so I don't think was too much to ask for. see this quote from an early son of neptune chapter:

^ like....... hazel's feelings of out-of-place-ness are There in the text and important to take note of when understanding her character (note that she's been there for like a year already and she still feels like she doesn't belong) but the emphasis is always put on her Being from a different time or Being undead and is never put on her out-of-place-ness regarding her race as a black girl from segregation times who is literally so out-of-place in this weird post-racial camp jupiter society. it feels like such an obvious thing to consider so its glaring absence really bugs me when I reread her povs and it bugs me when her hair is never talked about by extension because It Matters

you might be thinking "well she had a lot going on and she's not a superficial person maybe she just didn't care what was going on with her hair" and my response is simply that Black girls don't get to "not care" about their hair it is not the same thing as a white person going to school with bedhead it's not the same thing At All (if you aren't black then chances are you've never actually seen what untouched black hair looks like in the morning), especially when it's been beaten into your head for your entire life that your hair is ugly and you have to "do something to it" for it to be acceptable (and again...... she's from the 1930s so that feeling is magnified like 50x over). remember that perpetually dolled up modest 1930s woman I mentioned previously. picture her time traveling to camp jupiter of all places in 2010 and struggling to drop all of her makeup/hairstyling routines and internalized misogyny and conceptualizations of what women are "supposed" to be. this is the kind of fascinating character exploration that we really missed out on with hazel (and tbh regardless of her race she was never believably written as someone from the 1930s. I don't think rick even really tried to be honest)

you might also be wondering "how was rick supposed to know/attempt to portray any of that" and then my second answer is that If you're going to write a character who is not the same race as you then you should do some research and we have the internet now so research has never been easier 👍 this would be especially important to do if that person is a poc from the jim crow era I think! (he could have at least googled black hair 1930s)

anyways what I choose to believe (this is pure fanfiction) is that during hazel's first year at camp jupiter (remember that she was there for about a year before son started) nico would have helped her figure something out after observing her distress over her hair c: like they both secretly watched youtube videos on black hairstyles circa 2010 and then they got attacked by monsters for using a laptop (neither of them know how to use a laptop but he's trying his best for her) but then after killing them he helped her do her hair as something she likes that is easy to maintain <3 (I could also see reyna doing this because she surely knows a thing or two from her spa days)

[uncanny-tranny]

A big argument against asexuality and aromaticism is the idea that you can be too young to know. I remember people being so put out by the idea of somebody under eighteen identifying as aro or ace, and they made it known how they thought it was bad.

However... I really don't agree with that outlook. I knew something was up with me when my friends were developing a "normal" identity in the eyes of amatonormativity, and I was under eighteen. Mind you, I didn't have words to express how I felt, so I was in a perpetual state of feeling pressure to be "one of the normals." It made my life miserable because I was being dishonest to myself and cloaking who I was behind a layer of shame.

My point is that... when you know, you tend to know. Sure, your identity might change, but is that more important than making sure you are comfortable in yourself? Would you rather feel the way I did at my age hearing about my allo friends? Because it was unbearable, and I don't wish that on anybody.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[adda-j]

Glad to hear you're feeling better! But you should really get some good sleep in tho.

Other than that, I'm glad you're having fun with this! I'm usually pretty nervous to interact with people like this, but I'm really enjoying myself. Plus everyone's been super nice!

And don't worry about your English, everything has been perfectly understandable so far. I'm not a native speaker myself, so I understand how hard it can be.

With that said, let's see what I can come up with this time...

I think I'll start with some ideas for Silver's origins. I totally agree with you that Shadow wouldn't be a deadbeat. Like, he might not always be the best at showing it, but he does genuinely care about others. And if he found out he has a kid? Well, he would probably be pretty conflicted at first, maybe even a little scared, but he definitely wouldn't leave said kid to fend for themselves. So something pretty big must have happened for him to be out of the picture. Though if Mephiles is to be believed in 06, then he has been sealed away.

After that... well, I guess G.U.N. is the easiest to point a finger to when it comes to Silver's creation. I wouldn't be surprised, if once someone a bit more, let's say ambitious, gets to lead G.U.N. That they might try to revisit Project Shadow and try to create their own Ultimate Lifeform to use as a weapon. Aside from maybe Eggman, they are the only ones that could get to, and make use of what's left of Gerald's research. ((Maybe in some twisted way this is the real reason why Shadow gets captured in the future.))

But thinking about this does remind me something: Silver's gloves. Some people do theorize they could be like Shadow's inhibitor rings. Which is a pretty interesting thing to think about. (Or at least to a lesser extent, they are meant to help him direct and control his psychokinesis better.) But either way, they do look like some pretty fancy tech, something that would be pretty hard to come by in a fiery hellscape of a world. So this could further help explain where and why he got them.

Either way, once Iblis starts weaking havoc. Silver would still probably be too young and inexperienced to fight against it. And so G.U.N. is destroyed, Shadow left forgotten, and Silver has no choice other than to set out into a world with only a handful of a survivors left to guide him. I don't think he would really remember much of his early life, and that is even if he got to have some semblance of a childhood. So he has no idea about his true origins.

Fast foward to the point he's actively traveling to the past. His relationship with the other characters would be a little awkward in the beginning, with all the time travel and all. He genuinely wants to be around other people, but can't shake the feeling that his time in the past only temporary. That once he's able to ensure an actually good future, but one that he has detached himself from by his constant travels, he won't really belong anywhere.

This would make his relationship with Shadow even harder. On one hand you have Silver who wants to make connections, but is held back by his own doubts. And then there is Shadow who despite genuinely caring about others, has a difficult time making connections because his own past, and deeply ingrained fear of loss. So for a younger Shadow, forging friendships isn't the easiest. I think it would take some time for him to get used to the idea of having a family again, especially considering what happened to the last one. Then you add onto that Silver constantly leaving to the future. One day he could just not return to the past, and no one would have any idea what happened to him, or if he's even alive. That's a terrifying thought.

The whole reveal would probably make things even more awkward between them. But it might allow them to actually think about their relationship and decide how they want to proceed. Y'know, actually get them to talk to each other properly. Plus, they are still a lot of questions both both of them would like to be answered. Just because they know they are somehow related, doesn't mean they have the whole picture.

As for some more of the Black Arms stuff. For the Doom Morph I had something slender and nimble in mind, so that fits. (Especially since I didn't want to just recolor Shadow's.) As for the Surf form, well, I did have a few more reasons to choose orca to base it on. They are incredibly smart and very social creatures. Also, I feel like a lot of people tend to underestimate how good of a hunters they are, there is a good reason they are called the "killer whales". Similarly, Silver may look like a cute furball, but he's deceptively strong and should not be messed with. (He did kick Sonic's butt twice in his debut game.) But the diving thing is a pretty cool idea, I didn't think of that.

I really like the idea of their blood being black though. Afaik the general consesus is that their blood is green (I think that's how it's in the game too, because censorship). But it being black just sounds much cooler and looks more on brand. I'll definitely be borrowing this. (I also just realized how well that would blend in with Shadow's fur, oh no)

I admit I've already been toying with the idea of Silver getting controlled through the hivemind. It's absolutely ripe with some angst potential, and ho boy do I love me some good angst. >:)

Like, imagine if this was how their relation was actually revealed.

It would require there being another Black Arms aside from our two hedgehogs. So either Black Doom somehow returns from the dead again, or I actually come up with a way to include Eclipse. (Speaking of Eclipse, I really do wanna involve him somehow, he's very neat.)

__________________

Honestly yeah, at this point this might as well become a fic lol. To be fair, I have been considering writing a one based on this, I just need to wrangle the plot a bit first and I'm ready to go.

So allow me to continue a bit:

Silver's day just went from bad to worse, and all it took was one unlucky hit to the head. His vision was swimming. His ears were ringing.

When did he fall to the ground?

He pushed himself to his knees. The enemies were closing in. Large hulking machines, the lastest of Eggman's attempts to take over the world. One he couldn't let succeed.

He tried to focus his powers, but they fizzled out pitifully. He grit his teeth.

Focus.

Focus.

His hand sparked with power, and the nearest robot crumpled like a tin can. A stab of pain through his head sent him down again. He tried to get his hands under him, to crawl as far away as he could, his pride me damned. But he didn't get far.

He could only watch as his enemies lumbered closer. No... It can't end like this.

Someone.

Anyone...

Help.

HELP ME!

In what felt like a crash of lighting, and just as fast, the foes fell one by one. Leaving only a dark figure standing atop the scrap metal.

He could barely see, yet somehow... "S-Shadow? How did you..." he knew who it was.

"I heard it."

What?

Shadow wasted no time in approaching him. He knelt next to him and helped Silver sit up. The whole world lurched with the movement. Silver felt a hand touch the side of his head, causing him to hiss in pain.

"Sorry." The word was almost too quiet to hear. Shadow pulled his hand back, white glove stained black. He seemed to study it for a moment before wiping it on his leg. Carefully he gathered Silver into his arms. "Hold on. I'll get you out of here."

People talking about what if Shadow was Silver’s dad y’know but NOT ONCE have I seen anyone say that if that’s true, then Silver has black arms blood

[lord-squiggletits]

Speaking of Tyrest. A lot of people forget that he treated Pharma with absolute disdain, not only using him as a test subject for a clearly painful mass murder machine, but talking to Pharma like he saw him as nothing but some henchman to order around that was nothing more than a 'diseased cripple' if Tyrest hadn't come to rescue him.

Like it really is an interesting background dynamic with some curious implications, but when you look at fandom posts from around that issue/the years after, for some reason people just saw "Pharma worked with Tyrest" and concluded Pharma is a card carrying bigot ksjfnskxkd. Like yeah Pharma didn't do anything to stop Tyrest but it seems his main beef with the Autobots was with Ratchet in particular and maybe a general disdain for his ex-comrades. As well as continuing to hate Decepticons which like, not even the "good Autobots" are immune to (even in Pharma's introduction, First Aid says in his journal something like "yeah we all hate Decepticons, but Pharma REALLY hates them"). And despite what fandom likes to construe there's really no evidence in IDW1 that Autobots and Decepticons are different "races" or "types" of Cybertronians, so Pharma hating Decepticons really isn't a bigotry/robot racism thing. And instead probably has something to do with, idk, the 4 million year long galaxy-spanning blood feud war, or maybe being blackmailed and tortured into insanity by the Biggest and Most Decepticon-y of Decepticons.

Tyrest treated Pharma like trash, the other Decepticons working for Tyrest (how come no one ever brings that up btw) also hated him, so if anything it seems that Pharma was more of a rogue element only staying with Tyrest bc he was his best option and probably had no way to even escape.

I'm glad that at least in recent years the fandom has acquired a keen reading eye and good taste to finally recognize Pharma as the (accidentally) complex character he is instead of making him some posh, racist Starscream clone SHSJDGSGDH

[todayisafridaynight]

everyday i constantly think of masato's wheelchair and if that's his only one/main one no wonder he's so pissed at everyone

[softness-and-shattering]

If I may respond, because I think its important to address trauma. I think as a collective as Jews we need to address our collective and generational trauma. Im learning how to do that individually which is the only way I know how to make a start.

There is a difference between fear and danger. Fear is a warning that there may be danger. Fear has obviously kept us alive as our ancestors, with an additional huge amount of luck or providence, got the hell out of dodge before it was too late, probably many many times over the millenia which is why we are here at all.

And it is normal human pattern-seeking behaviour to see awfulness and death wishes from people who identify a certain way, and become afraid of everyone similar to them. When its nazis, and the hate and violence are inherently part of the ideology, theres nothing to be done except take precautions and stay away. Someone should try rescue them from the lies and misery they've bought into, but as the target of their hate thats emphatically not our job.

When it comes to pride flags and BLM and id definitely like to believe watermelons, Jew hatred *shouldnt* be a central part of the identity. And I think thats where we have to take a look at fear as a coping mechanism, and evaluate how useful it is. Because it isnt the same as danger. At this point maybe lets say its an orange-to-red flag. Its not inherently danger but its something to watch out for.

And its not an obligation, to interact with people. If you need to shut down and stay in small safe circles then do that.

Its just that you say that you dont like how distrustful youve become. Ive been there and I hate it too. Two things, I guess. One is that connecting to people, trusting anyone, is inherently risky. Theres a level of intimacy and vulnerability involved even if youre just joking around with someone. For me, I dont want to become a hateful mistrustful shell of myself. What that means for me is extending some trust and knowing I could ger hurt by it. Thats just being human. But its also having other support and other coping mechanisms in place so that if I am hurt, I know how to dress the wound, I know how to unwind and recover. A lot of that is DBT self-soothing skills, its having places I can vent and be myself without worrying about the worst version of someone twisting my words might be, where I know everyone present is either on the same page as me, or shares a level of understanding of complexity that even if I say something that sounds unkind or awful I will be kindly told "hey what the fuck we need to talk about this" in a way thats constructive and thoughtful with room for learning, instead of being publically dogpiled and cancelled for eternity over a mistake or a misconception or even unexamined bigotry because we all have it and its a process to unlearn for everyone. And we need to publically be better about that but I digress.

The second thing is differentiating fear and danger. This isnt mandatory but if youre up for it I think its a healthy skill to learn in general. In tumblr terms, investigate a little. You come across someone with a pride flag in bio, look at their top posts, skim their blog, maybe throw a couple terms into the search. Then look at what comes up. Is it straight up vitriol and antisemitism, block em. Is it something that makes you defensive, pause, take a few breaths, look again. Is it actually in tone or in words calling for or excusing violence, is it black-and-white villain and victim no nuance? Probably also block. Is it passionately upset about violence without any calls for revenge or retaliatory violence? That person might be safe. Its ok if your first reaction is fear, just let yourself have a second or third reaction and srr where it goes.

The last point I have is about levels of trust, and levels of safety, and levels of vulnerability. Because youre not determining if you can give someone your home address, and youre probably not determining if theyre safe to meet in person. So its not a full on black or white safe or not safe thing. Its more like, am I safe to have this interaction? Are we talkimg about how cute our pet cats are? Probably a safe conversation to have with most people. Are we talking about the ethics of war and the existence of nation-states, thats way dicier. I talk quite a lot on here, and there are always things I choose not to share, conversations I choose not to have, posts I writr and discard, for any number of reasons. Im getting better at seeing things I disagree with and recognise when Im super unlikely to change the persons mind, and just not engaging even if it makes me really angry. Sometimes its not worth it, sometimes its too close to home and even if it might be a productive discussion, im not in a place to be having that discussion rn. Some things just arent anyones business. Some I know will be misunderstood so I dont bother.

I think in general, with basically everything, is that it takes courage to be who we want to be. Its easier to say everyone who says x or believes x or identifies as x is dangerous and I hate all of them. Black and white thinking is always easier, and because youre listening to your fear it feels safer, until you look up and youre bitter and hateful and lonely. Fear is a warning signal but it flags false positivites, and it sometimes flags danger as more extreme than it is. Like any gut feeling, always pay attention, and also use your brain to evaluate how correct it is. And then make decisions based on your evaluation.

Because its not good or fun or helpful to be afraid of vast swathes of people. And people can hurt us, thats part of the human package and very much part of being Jewish. You gotta be careful, and brave, and vulnerable imo. And have a strong support system + soothing activities you can fall back on when you do get hurt. And be selective of who you trust with how much, so when the hurt comes itll hopefully be minimal. We cant avoid pain entirely, only learn how to minimise it and look after it.

Good luck! Its not easy out there. Be safe, be brave. ❤

one of the things I hate most about all this is how distrustful it’s made me. if I see a pride flag or BLM or a watermelon in someone’s bio, I immediately wonder if they want to kill us. if they deny rape. if they cheer massacres. I don’t see those things and think of tolerance or acceptance anymore. they just make me afraid. that’s what this movement has done. and I hate not trusting people, being scared of people, but what else can I be when they’ve shown us how much they’d like to see us dead?

.

[bearenjoyers]

sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.

and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.

and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.

[kazumasougi]

im gonna be real for a second. if fantasy can only be enjoyable to you when removed from any and all real world implications then is it even good

[lwcina]

the fact that the us government can continue funding and arming a genocide despite massive public opposition really highlights how inherently non-democratic the united states is