#i guess hes gender

[kasswentmissing]

Heathers theory everything after dead girl walking is just JD being pissed Veronica broke his window lock

in 'Yo Girl' JD is all "Knock knock, sorry for coming in through the window, dreadful etiquette, I know."

He's just pissed that Veronica climbed through his window.

[tuttle-did-it]

David Tennant for Prime Minister, please.

edit- Since this is getting so much attention, edited to include descriptions of screenshots.

This woman has lost her fucking mind.

Jo, are you okay?

[just-your-average-tangerine]

The line between binary and nonbinary trans people is nowhere near as clean as some of yall think it is

[sualne]

self isolated and easily replaced

[glassedplanets]

i am still soooo charmed by that one set of eyecatchers

[rhapsoddity]

I beg of thee I don't care if he's irrelevant to the plot I wanna see VSAU!Martyn

PERCEIVE HIM

[kiivg]

.please please please please please pl.

[nicollekidman]

insanely funny that rhaenyra was like 🥺 alicent, we know that men hunger for blood and glory, but not us. not you 🥺 when in actuality years before this, rhaenyra said i need you uncle, you’ll strengthen my claim to the throne and provide tactical advantage in case of violence, so let’s fuck at your wife’s funeral, fake-kill my gay husband, and get married posthaste in a ceremony that involves us consuming each other’s blood. then no one can oppose us. we were meant to burn together.

[stuffeddeer]

okay but..... pathetic yearning beast!stalkerzai... he's so quiet abt his obsession with u making up any excuse to have u around for subordinate purposes and when ur not around him he makes sure he can still keep tabs on u AHHH hes so sad and so smitten

"pathetic" i dont need to hear any more. im on board.

The continuous knocking on your apartment door leaves you anxious, quickly pulling on a comfy sweatshirt before answering the door. A breeze flies into the room, causing you to shiver, before you make eye contact with,

"Why aren't you at work today?" Dazai crosses his arms, an angry expression on his face. Though, the pout he wears causes it to be less intimidating than he'd normally be.

You glance into your apartment briefly, still feeling chilly while exposed to the outside air. "Um... I don't work?"

"You always work."

"Right. Which is why I have today off." Awkwardly, you itch your arm. "Am I… needed, Boss?"

Dazai sighs before walking into your apartment (with no invitation) and closes your own door behind him. "You're freezing."

"I'm slightly chilled," you shrug, brushing off the notion. Any other subordinate wouldn't dare correct the boss of the Port Mafia, but he'd always been more lenient with you - supposedly because you ‘aren’t as dumb’ as the rest. "But that's what the hoodie is for."

Without another word, Dazai plops down onto your couch, making a show of looking around your apartment. It’s tiny - the whole thing barely the size of his office at HQ — and Dazai wonders if you’d rather move in with him. For more space, of course. And he guesses you’d be saving on rent that way, too.

“How do you know where I live?” You ask curiously. Sure, it’s probably somewhere in your files, but your boss never seemed like the type to care.

Shrugging, he murmurs, “It’s my job.”

You want to make this visit quick, but kicking out your boss didn’t seem like a smart idea. “Are you thirsty? Would you like a cup of tea?..”

Yes, Dazai wants to try your tea. Just because you’re his subordinate, and he needs to make sure it’s up to par. What if he needs you to serve tea to some associates in the future? “I’d love one.”

Biting back a sigh, you fill your kettle before placing it on the stove, watching as your old gas stove flickers on. Silence hangs between you two - you had no intention of carrying the conversation when he just barged in uninvited.

Dazai seems to have a similar idea, sitting laxly on your couch and waiting for his tea. You pour one cup, uninterested in making one yourself, before placing it on the coffee table in front of him. “Sugar? Milk?”

“This is fine, thanks.” He takes a sip. Heavenly, he’s sure. Well, all tea tastes the same, but something about it coming from your hands… delectable. It’s as though he can taste the love you must pour into every cup.

Mouth shut, you take a seat on the chair across from him. “May I ask, sir, why are you here? Am I needed?” The question is posed once again as you hope for a quick resolution. Kicking out your boss is wrong, but hopefully he’ll read between the lines and show himself out - the same way he showed himself in.

A long sip of tea permeates the otherwise silent room. He’s doing this on purpose, you’re sure of it.

“…I was worried,” he mumbles into the mug, sound muffled and quiet.

“Sorry?”

“You should be,” he replies, uninterested in repeating himself. “I needed you today, only to find out you vanished into thin air.”

“I didn’t run, if that’s what you’re implying,” your eyes narrow. You would not be mistaken for a traitor.

“No, no,” he grins. You were at your most entertaining when you became combative. Dazai much prefers you like this rather than subservient. “You took today off.”

Correcting the boss of the Port Mafia was risky, but, “You gave me today off. A month ago, after that mission, you told me to pick a day to relax.”

That’s… true. It was a strenuous mission, and while Dazai made sure to keep you out of the fray, he thought a gift like that would make you feel touched and indebted to him. Annoyingly, he’d nearly forgotten, since Dazai had planned on reneging at the last minute to trap you with him. For your work ethtic, of course.

A pout graces his lips, unhappy at your disappearance from his side. And that he had no rebuttal to it. “Well, I still need you. I made dinner reservations for two accidentally, and the restaurant is rather strict. You need to come with. The meal will be comped, of course."

“Sir, I don’t— “

“Don’t want your job?” His eyes narrow, pout vanishing immediately. You had to go along with it. “I’m sure you don’t mean that, over something as silly as a nice dinner.”

“...Of course, sir.” You tug on the strings of your hoodie, wanting to emphasize that you aren't exactly dressed for something 'nice.' "What time am I expected?"

Dazai has to stop himself from swooning. How adorable. Well, it’s not you that’s adorable, of course. It’s the juxtaposition of such n oversized hoodie on you that he finds adorable, not you yourself. Definitely. “We can leave now, actually. Get changed, please. I wouldn't say there's a dress code, but it's not a 'hoodie' establishment."

Rather than lashing out at him for the snide comment, you choose to bite your tongue and head into your bedroom.

Exhausted was too light a word to describe how you felt. Donned in a 'nice' outfit that was rather uncomfortable, you stood outside in the cold air and harsh breeze as Dazai suggested to the host to let him in. This bastard didn't have reservations for one, much less two.

After the manager is called over and recognizes Dazai, you're quickly ushered in beside him. Dazai pulls out a seat at a secluded table in the back, gesturing for you to sit. "Come."

Without a second thought, you sit in the very seat he'd pulled out, stifling a yawn as he pushes you in. You’re Dazai's best employee - he must keep you close at all times. Which is why he takes advantage of your position as his subordinate to orders you waste your day off in a fancy restaurant across from him. If you want time off of work, you’ll have to spend it with him - just so he can keep an eye on you, of course.

[shroompette]

It took a while for you to notice. It was a small detail, really - though it's incredible that anything about your 6'10" behemoth of a boyfriend could ever be paired with the word "small". People would always only gape at his size, his mask, or truthfully, his package. It's not like you were any better.

It only dawned on you one quiet afternoon that you two were spending together. You sat comfortably in the armchair you claimed as "your spot", your boyfriend splayed out on the couch beside it, draped over the armrest so he could have his head in your lap while you stroked his long hair.

You averted your eyes from your latest literary obsession and your gaze softened as you regarded him. Despite his rather unappealing appearance, you thought he was the loveliest man in the world, with strong arms, chiselled back that curved oh-so-nicely when he laid on his front and-

Oh.

You arched your eyebrow as you realized that where König's ass was supposed to be, you found nothing. Zero altitude. You could land a helicopter on that piece of plain and the landing would be smooth as a butter.

How did you never notice this?

Perhaps because the front of him served as a good enough of a distraction from the criminal lack of backside.

You bite your lip, hesitant to say anything and disturb his peaceful sleep, but at the same time, you had to explore your discovery somehow. You reach for the mug of coffee on your table and carefully place it on his ass...

Flat. Like a stabbed tire. The coffee's surface remained perfectly still.

For a minute, König honestly thought he might have peed himself from fear when he was abruptly awoken by your loud, witch-like cackle, the brew spilling on his pants as soon as he moved.

Now your couch has a permanent stain and your boyfriend refuses to speak to you.

[pickled-flowers]

Ok so a while back I had a conversation with my friend's aunt. She's a trans woman well into her 50, who has kids and grandkids, and she came out when she was in her 40's. Me and my friends were talking about our queer space, and mentioned the well known "token cishet man"

Now, I'm sure most of us have that guy in our friend group, and it was common for us to just call him the straight guy. But my friend's aunt offered a different perspective ; she once was that token cishet man in a queer group of friends. Getting categorized so strongly as "the cis straight guy" made it harder for her to come out and accept herself. Since that talk with her, I've been careful about it, and guess what? Two women I've once called "the straightest person I know" (different occasions, and it was high school) now have girlfriends! You literally cannot know if someone is queer, and honestly most people are not the straight cisest person out there.

Anyways I'm not very articulate and English is not my friend but like I think everyone would benefit from being a little more careful about the way we treat our "token straight guy", she might be thankful later!

[surlifen]

yeah.

[mysticalcats]

this goes out to u greaseball starlight express‼

[ask2ps]

this guy's got issues. unfortunately, i love him

[sabertoothwalrus]

can you all please please please stop asking me to make a fionna and cake version of nico the catboy

[lazycranberrydoodles]

oooooh you want to read my huaxuan hookup fic sooooo bad

bonus :P