#i guarantee you these are movies i actually like and the only one i actively thirst for is daniel auteuil

[born-to-lose]

While we're having the conversation, can you drop the French movie recs (not exclusively for the old men pls lol just whatever you like)

Sorry this took a bit, but in the past 10 years I've watched so many French movies that I lost track of titles and plots and which ones I just watched and which I found good, so I tried to scrape together some favorites

Le Bossu/On Guard (1997) - original and entertaining swashbuckler movie; with Daniel Auteuil

Dialogue avec mon jardinier/Conversations with My Gardener (2007) - drama/comedy about a painter who hires a gardener who turns out to be his childhood friend; with Daniel Auteuil

Qu’est-ce qu’on a fait au Bon Dieu?/Serial (Bad) Weddings trilogy - comedy about a Catholic family whose 4 daughters marry an Arab, a Jew, a Chinese and the youngest is planning to marry a black man; with Christian Clavier

OSS 117 trilogy - spy movie parody with politically incorrect humor, not everyone's cup of tea; with Jean Dujardin

Babysitting 2 (2015) - clique vacation comedy with Philippe Lacheau

Alibi.com (2017) - comedy about a firm that provides alibis to people; with Philippe Lacheau

Les Nouvelles Aventures D'Aladin & Alad'2 - funny modernized Aladdin version; with Kev Adams

Plein soleil/Purple Noon (1960) - thriller based on the novel The Talented Mr. Ripley; with Alain Delon

Ne le dis à personne/Tell No One (2006) - thriller about a man who gets hints that his wife may still be alive eight years after she was supposedly killed; with François Cluzet

The Intouchables (2011) - comedy about a paralyzed man who develops an unusual friendship with his new everyday helper; with François Cluzet

Louis de Funès (love his movies, my grandpa also looked a lot like him):

Fantomas trilogy - classic crime films with Jean Marais

Jo (1971) - crime comedy about a writer who kills his blackmailer and tries to hide the body in his garden

La soupe aux choux (1981) - sci fi comedy about an alien who regularly visits an old man in a village and likes his soup

L'aile ou la cuisse (1976) - comedy about a restaurant reviewer who tries to fight a new company's synthetic food

Eyes Without a Face (1960) has been on my list for ages and due to my current Daniel Auteuil trip, I'll be checking out more of his filmography asap, especially A Heart in Winter (1992), Caché (2005), Le Placard (2001), La Reine Margot (1994) and L'amour en douce (1985)

[saerotonins]

actor!toji headcanons

ft. fushiguro toji x reader

content warnings: fluff, parent!reader, megumi is yalls son, just overall cuteness

wc: 918

note: this is my apology for that nanami angst i posted days ago heh

jjk actor au masterlist

as an actor:

very intimidating man, from his aura to his build, oh boy, who wouldn't be scared

but to everyone's surprise, he's actually just a really goofy and adorable man with a really good resting bitch face lmfao

is actually a household name in the acting industry! definitely those types of actors that once casted into a show, it's guaranteed to get hella VIEWS AND RATINGS

has been in the acting industry for YEARS and has a ton of experience but is still very humble

is actually very shy when his co stars tease him whenever his fans thirst for him whenever he's on screen and he's just a blushing mess LOL

i mean he's a literal dilf so 

believe it or not, this man has been in more romance shows and movies than action, especially as a VILLAIN

his fans couldn't believe it either

so when he was first casted in jjk as a villain who kills CHILDREN they were so ecstatic!

and boy were they so happy when toji SURPASSED their expectations because he was so good!

also so happy that he was casted together with his son, megumi, in the same show!

they usually go to the shoot together and even when he doesn't have a scene to shoot and only megumi does, he drives him off to the shooting site whenever his time permits

it's actually so adorable 

in contrast to jjk!toji, he's really a hands on father to him and is actually very supportive of megumi going to the same career path as him

megumi is also the definition of nepo babies who deserved what they got but that's another discussion 

at first though, he is kind of hesitant especially knowing how toxic can it get with the industry but when he saw his son's determination, he eventually gave him a green light and supported him along the way

this man is so fucking strong OML the producers are so grateful the most of the time he helps cleaning up with the equipment once filming is done

literally lifts them up like it's nothing BYE

listen, this old man is RIPPED and really likes to work out 

he's like pedro pascal who is like really chill but really cheeky when it comes to fanservice LOL he is so adorable 

megumi is kinda cringing though 😭 it's understandable though because that's literally your father trying to act cute and he's a teenager so i don't really blame him

also a big gentleman, again, contrary to his role, he is actually very good with the ladies and often checks with his co stars especially when a fight scene is being filmed

profusely apologized to satoru when their fight was filmed because he literally has to do the stunts himself and make everything believable as much as possible 

has ig and twitter but barely posts unless it's a promotion or a thank you post for the team

he's very active in stories though 😭

and i mean VERY VERY active

you know that point where a person posts too much stories and the lines above almost look like dots??? 

yeah that's him 😭

mostly posts the behind the scenes and his family there!

has a pet chicken that he posts there too

no he's not vegan... he just doesn't eat chicken 😭

as a husband:

oh yeah another married man on set sorry ladies he’s off the market

a very romantic and private lover

especially when you're the only one in the family who is not involved in show business

looks forward to coming home to you all the time

the type of husband who says, "i miss my spouse," on set out of nowhere and his co stars just sigh in faux annoyance 

this man is WHIPPED 

his lines is always and SHOULD always be practiced with you, because aside from his fans (not really though since he's already an established actor), the only approval he looks for is from his lover

is really happy and giddy (almost like a teenage boy like SIR you guys are already married for YEARS) when you praise him and has this really boyish smile which happens very often btw

he's such a fucking sap please

as mentioned, he is kinda shy about the thirst but is not uncomfortable and actually goes along with it

you on the other hand GO HAM with it LOL

you're one of the fans lmfaoooo

a very BIG ONE

unlike him who is not active on twitter, you actually reply to fans and agree what they were saying and fangirl/boy with them which is actually so adorable LOL

his fandom is having a field day of you gushing about your husband like you're not married to him and have a literal CHILD with him bye

both megumi and toji, especially toji, are very protective of you so any slanderous rumors from the tabloids and any defamation will immediately face a lawsuit 

and fans love it when y'all fight back!!

if they stan either toji or megumi, it's immediately a given that they also stan you LOL

your boys both find it cute that even you have a very supportive fanbase like theirs

[chufflepop]

The winners garden

This was inspired by my emerald rogue run (the old one), with my pidgeot whom I have named Victory after the run ended (or caught a pidgey in the safari and pretended it was her)

This'll be long because it affected me that much. I didn't expect to win this run- I thought I was a goner after Wallace. I swear this run felt like a movie sequence because my god it felt so climactic (to me)

Victory was a random pidgey I caught at before the first or second gym, and I was originally going to trade her off but I just felt like I lacked flying types. Eventually, I thought she was actually a really valuable member and kept her in. It also helped alot that the pidgeotite appeared the next time I got into the battle stop store, so it felt right keeping her around-

My team had a latios, thunderus, sylveon (who died but I managed to get him back because of the random lab encounter, thank god it was just a species curse), serperior, dracovish and mega pidgeot. Pidgeot with hurricane spam is so good I kept her around even more

It was a really solid team until I accidentally stumbled into a trainer battle while getting an item, and due to an unlucky crit, my latios goes down

At this point, I got mad because "AH, MY BEST TEAM MEMBER". He had a choice specs on and his job was to spam, but unfortunately, his psychic didn't kill the mega kanghaskan we encountered. It was unfortunate, I didn't level up because I thought I could avoid the trainer, but oh well

Caught a random alolan ninetales that did good aurora veil blizzard (after buying an ability patch) and I thought she'd be fine and for awhile, it was

Until I reached the champion. Wallace killed 3 of my team members, down went my serperior, my newly caught alolan ninetales, and my dracovish. And there was also an unskippable trainer when I moved on to the next route which killed my sylveon, leaving me with only my thunderus and my dear pidgeot

Remember the species clause I said earlier? That thing screwed me over when it only had 3 available pokemon (and worse, it was a water route so the surf point also had staryu, maybe I was just impatient and maybe another mon is in the surf point idk). I caught a starmie, a toxapex and a jellicent in that route. With the species clause active, I was handicapped to fight the REAL champion. I only had 5 pokemon instead of 6

The last poke stop. The trader was there, so I took a gamble with him and traded my starmie. And what came out of it felt right- It was a victini. At this point, I was giggling to myself like "I might win" because of victinis dex entry and such, about how it being with you is basically a guaranteed victory.

After I prepared my team to the best that I could and with some small confidence growing, I pressed on.

At this point, I only remember the pidgeot battle so I'm just trying to remember here and I'm probably wrong in some details

Red was the final champion and my victini took the lead. Victini died first, he was scarfed and spammed bolt strike until he MISSED. But it was still good enough, it was now a fair 4v4. Jellicent didn't have much, but he had will o wisp, which helped alot. He wasn't trained as well as the others so he was frailer than he was supposed to be, but he weakened one pokemon enough for thunderbolt range and died. 3v4 now

Thunderus tbolt, he goes down. Thunderus had a z crystal and it one shotted I forgot who immediately after.

It's now a 2v2

Terrakion. Easy enough for toxapex to take down (and spam recover)

2v1

Final pokemon was a giratina. Shadow force. Didnt want to switch out because tox was in good health and I wanted to knock off, but it critted and tox was lower than anticipated. Knock off did alright damage and I was sure it was a clear 2 hit ko if pidgeot lived. One outrage and tox was down

1v1.

My pidgeot, the pidgeot who's been with me since the start, the pidegot that I was going to trade away, the pidgeot that I doubted. From a little helpless pidgey to now facing Satan head on

She megas and hits her first hurricane but it doesn't kill and an outrage hits her and SHE BARELY LIVED. SHE WAS CLINGING FOR HER LIFE. AND THERE I KNEW, I KNEW I WON. ONE LAST HURRICANE AND DOWN GOES GIRATINA, AND MY SOLE SURVIVOR WON ME EVERYTHING!

IT FELT SO PERFECT. THE SPECIES CLAUSE, THE VICTINI, THE TOXAPEX, THE STRESS I BUILT, THE IMPORTANT POKEMON DYING JUST BEFORE RED, THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP TAKING DOWN POKEMON SATAN, IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE MUCH VISUALLY AND SOME PEOPLE WOULD PROBABLY THINK IT'S CHILDISH, BUT I IMAGINED MY PIDGEOT ABSOLUTELY LOOKING COOL AND GOING HAM ON THAT FINAL BATTLE. THE FINAL BATTLE WAS COOL IN MY HEAD OKAY

After we won, I caught a female pidgey on the safari zone and named her Victory. It's the same pidgeot now pidgey that in my heart. And that's literally why I made this drawing. And also I significantly love pidgeot more now. I would also make an essay about my thought process when making this, but I think this tumblr blog is long enough (it was so corny ngl). Too bad I can’t bring her over but the newer game is fun too

I'm sorry this was long guys, I enjoyed talking about this way too much ahshsh

[ckret2]

How do you have the willpower to not consume content from any of your other fandoms? I always get pulled in and out of the same ones and it stops me from getting projects done but I get so bored! Teach me your ways!

So the downside of ADHD is that it takes a ridiculously high amount of effort to push yourself to do things—even things you want to do and like doing—unless you put even more effort upfront into making it convenient for yourself.

But the upside is, if you know this about yourself, and if there's media you want to not be consuming, you just...... don't do anything to make it convenient to consume.

I don't have Amazon Prime. All I have to do is not bother to get Amazon Prime (easy!!) and not bother to hunt out a way to watch Hazbin some other way (also easy!!) and bam, I've got a 100% success rate of not watching it.

Do you know how many Transformers series I'm currently behind on? I sure don't! Because I haven't put the effort into looking it up! I can't be assed! There's like, at least three I think! Don't tell me, I'm not currently interested in finding out!! It would take work for me to figure it out; I can just go "work?? Naaah. Not doing that."

You can resist temptation by just being too lazy to pursue it! Make that ADHD work for YOU!

Caution: if you can't get yourself to put effort into doing anything that brings you pleasure, that's either Pretty Serious Depression or it's gonna cause Pretty Serious Depression and it's not good. However. If you master the art of ADHD, you can save up the effort you didn't put into distractions, and use it to put effort into different activities that also make you happy.

Last year I picked up a podcast about cults. It's all right. But because I'm already listening to it and spotify keeps pushing it to the top of my screen, when I need a low-effort audio distraction, it's easier for me to default to putting on the podcast about cults than it would be for me to, say, dig up The Magnus Protocol to start it. And bam! Now I'm doing more research that'll help me write about a cult leader, for free, by listening to a podcast I'm not at risk of hyperfixating on!

Part of avoiding breaking your own hyperfixation is figuring out what media you enjoy, but don't hyperfixate on. Because you still need to, like, have fun. That's why you wanna watch The Things You Like, because it's fun. If you're not having fun you'll wanna go watch The Things You Like, and rightly so. So you've gotta make sure you're having enough fun with things you don't hyperfixate on.

Like, I know that when I watch Columbo or read Poirot, I find the detectives charming while I'm observing them, and then almost as soon as the mystery is over I stop thinking about them. They aren't the kind of characters that latch into my brain. I know they won't become blorbos. So I'm safe there. I know I enjoy horror movies but 99% of the time totally forget who the characters are, like if there's 2 white guys and 2 white girls it is guaranteed I won't be able to tell them apart, so they're safe to watch, I'm not gonna hyperfixate on them. I know that I enjoy nonfiction/educational books & podcasts, but I only hyperfixate on fiction, so it's safe for me to pick up nonfiction. If it's nonfiction that's somehow thematically relevant to whatever I'm currently hyperfixated on, it even helps feed the current hyperfixation.

And those are my "protect your hyperfixation" lifehacks.

On the other hand, if you, anon, don't personally have ADHD, then I can't help you. idk how people with executive function function.

Final advice: if you know you keep falling in and out of the same 3 or 4 fandoms, maybe try writing a crossover fic about all 3 or 4 fandoms at once. That way it won't matter which one you're currently into. You win no matter what. I've never actually tried this, don't trust this advice.

[cosmicaces]

let's talk about pino!

according to the whm booklet, rody's quirk is always active. she isn't always present, though. from what we can see in the movie, pino primarily nests in rody's hair!

so... is there a trend?

obviously she hops out when a strong emotion flares up, but it seems like she's also more likely to be out and about when he's feeling relatively safe/comfortable? she's present when he says goodbye to his siblings, she's present when they're settling down for that first night on the run, she's present when they're in the hotel, etc. etc.

there are only a few times where pino is present during an action scene. the first instance is, of course, during the first chase scene when she flew out to stop deku. she briefly remained out, notifying rody that they were still being chased before disappearing. she appears again when he's going down the rail, disappears, and then comes out of his hair again to check on him after he was almost crushed by falling debris.

pino was not present during the attempted betrayal. after leading deku to him, we can presume that, offscreen, she returned to his hair or went into his hood. the next time she comes out is when rody finally warms up to deku in the cave scene.

it's also worth noting that she is not present during the following villain encounter, only coming out for introductions when their safety was guaranteed.

honestly, the only time we actually see pino in harm's way is during the battle with flect, and that was because rody relied on her to not only signal deku, but to catch the flash drive.

why am i talking about this? well, and this is a far-fetched assumption that's going to get into more headcanon/character interpretation territory, but hear me out:

pino is very similar to something from another property: the daemons from his dark materials. for anyone unaware: daemons are the physical manifestation of a person's soul and take the form of an animal. they mirror the way their human interacts with others and can provide emotional insight into how their human is feeling, which is... like i said before, VERY similar to how pino functions.

with this in mind, one has to wonder if their similarities end there or if, potentially, pino shares some other functionalities as a daemon. namely... if pino gets hurt, can rody feel it?

i know that her main function as a quirk is to articulate rody's feelings. still, her tendency to stay out of harm's way really makes you think, especially since we don't see her get injured at any point. little roughed up, sure! but not injured.

[deramin2]

I don't know how to really express this except to come across as a "kids these days" scold, but so much of the criticism of queerness in Good Omens would simply not be a thing if kids these days watched more 20th century queer media. Or more complex indie queer media in general.

People seem to want a show that's like the straight stories they grew up with but gay. Or the gay fanfiction they grew up with. But that's not really the tradition it's coming from. First off the novel was released in 1990. Queer film classics of the time are Dead Poet's Society (1989) and Torch Song Trilogy (1988). The TV miniseries Tales of the City (1993) wasn't made until 3 years later and it was so far out there it never had a huge audience. Philadelphia (1993) is also 3 years out and was basically the first big studio queer film. The first fluffy queer Hallmark-style romcom wasn't until Big Eden in 2000, a full 10 years after publication.

Queer stories from the time it was written were about complex and often fraught relationships between people who the world was trying to force apart. There is an incredibly strong tradition in queer films of relationships with no guarantees they will work out both in the face of their personal baggage and the weight of the world. Take a film like Torch Song Trilogy that's about the two great loves of Arnold Beckoff's life over 9 years and how homophobia shapes them. Both externally (especially Allen) and internally like Ed struggling with his bisexuality and being terrified of being publicly out. Written and starred in by Harvey Fierstein, who identified as a gay man at the time and only came out as nonbinary last year.

The Boys In The Band (1968 play, filmed 1970 and 2020) was a monumental moment in Broadway history where finally there was a play about gay men in their own words where no one died and very strongly showed that homosexuality doesn't make people miserable but homophobia sure does. But that homophobia also throws their personal lives into constant turmoil and none of them are in happy relationships, although Hank and Larry are devoted to each other in their own fucked up way.

"Relationships are complicated and hard to make work and sometimes a struggle against the odds" is an aesthetic of classic queer film making. Partly it was influenced by the Hays Code (although independent films were not bound to it), partly influenced by the rampant queerphobia in society at the time that was inescapable. But it's also an aesthetic choice to resist the banal and unrealistic relationship depictions of straight media. There are actual stakes to the relationship. Queer people were actively resisting a world that said "Romance is seeing someone across the room and instantly falling in love with each other and little conflicts happen along the way but ultimately they're destined to be together and everything is happily ever after." Recall that "stalking as romance" was a completely inescapable trope in 1980s straight romance films, and every goddamn movie was being turned into a romance film.

So queer people in film and television when they can make what they please have a long tradition of saying instead "People don't always realize the feelings they've developed for a queer partner right away. They may have reasons for denying those feelings that are both a reflection of the cruelty in society and of their own insecurities. People struggle with where they belong and their relationships reflect that. Loving someone doesn't mean they don't also drive you crazy and you might fight with them constantly. But that doesn't negate the love or that feeling that even if things aren't okay, they're better with that person around. But maybe that person can't stay around. The world may be against you. And also maybe you don't just want that one person in your life. Soulmates is a very flawed model. Sometimes the strongest love is a struggle with yourself and the world and your person. You have to overcome yourself first. Happily ever after is a lie. You may be happy for a while, and hopefully for a long while, but everything ends. And you have to be ready to love again. Also your platonic bonds are just as important and life-altering as your romantic ones. Sometimes those platonic bonds include fucking if you want them to. Real life isn't a bunch of platitudes and world-altering moments, it's daily work to better yourself and the world around you. Especially when things just fucking suck. But also remember to have fun and fuck the haters. People who don't support you can eat rocks and you should yell at them more to shut the fuck up."

That is a fundamentally different outlook on what a "good relationship depiction" looks like. Personally, I thought I hated romance movies and then I started watching queer romance movies and discovered I love them and watch them all the time. Because it turns out what I hated was relationships being shown that had nothing at all to do with reality and privileged incredibly toxic ideals. Finally there was complexity, there were stakes, and there were people who had to truly want to be together enough to fight the world for it and not because they happened to be there. There were people actually talking out their problems and looking for resolutions. (And sometimes that resolutions was "I can't fucking deal with this bullshit anymore and I'm out.") For the first time it felt real.

I'm an aroace trans gay man. Nothing about relationships or being in relationships has come easy to me, and the whole paradigm of straight patriarchal romance depictions makes absolutely no sense to me. It's completely alien. Queer romance stories actually feel human.

And that's the tradition Good Omens is coming from, even as it's being retold in 2019-2023 and hopefully beyond. Gaiman's work has always been based in that queer media paradigm. (I've been remiss and daunted and haven't read Pratchett but from what I do know his work also seems to sit more in that world view.) It's a beautiful cinematic tradition and it's baffling to me that people would resist it instead of embracing it for being honest.

And that's when I turn into a crotchety old man complaining about the youth not connecting with the history of their beautiful culture and instead begging for assimilation into a shithole allocishet media landscape that doesn't actually want them except for their money and has nothing at all interesting or valuable to say. But it's very funny (annoying) to me when people claim Good Omens is someone against queer culture when it's so thoroughly bathed in the best of queer media's storytelling traditions and what people are asking for is straight media with the serial numbers filed off. Like, stop being boring please and know literally anything about the culture the adults in the room lived through and were influenced by. The world didn't begin in 2015.

EDIT: I also want to add that in straight media arcs are linear. Traditionally in queer media arcs are cyclical. Queer media very often depicts people going around in circles relearning the same lesson over and over as they inch towards it sinking in. But every time they go through the cycle they gain just a little bit more enlightenment and slowly move towards a better place. From the comments this is an immensely important distinction. People don't actually have cathartic moments where suddenly all their past bad programming is shed and they saunter forward a new person with none of their old baggage. In reality people fall into the same patterns over and over even though they have had every opportunity to learn better. "People magically get better" is a trope of straight media that's an outright and frankly dangerous lie. Again, Good Omens follows the queer tradition not the straight one and it's depicted 6,000 years of that cycle. The world didn't end, and the wheel keeps turning, as it always has and always will. That's so fundamental to queer storytelling traditions I forgot to even mention it.

[northsealight]

how do you think Jason (or ak!jason) sees relationships in general? like would he be the type to have one night stands and dip LMFAOAOAO or does he need to be friends with someone first before pursing a romantic relation?? thoughts that bounce in my head :)

YOUR MIND. OHHHH YOUR MIND.

this is a thing I think about. SO MUCH . and im so excited to answer from an analytical AND wishful thinking lens

so. as much as the one night stand Jason imagines are fun to read (and write I bet!) I think any iteration of Jason avoids one night stands because of the THICK thick emotional barriers surrounding him- your honor in every universe he is a ticking time bomb that literally can only be defused over an immense amount of time (im just going to ignore RHATO!Jason because he is not real and quite literally the worst version of him) obviously he gets turned on but like. he doesn't do anything about it.

even making friends is hard because friends require. so so so much energy- I think he's gonna need to know a lot about you before he falls head over heels. being friends and CLOSE friends is like a guarantee before he thinks of you in that way!

but imagine the romance of it all... you getting used to his silence and slowly picking up on his body language- drumming his fingers on a surface means he's anxious, leaning all his weight on one side of his body means he's impatient, so on and SO FORTH! things that you never would have picked up over time if you weren't his friend first!!!

it's so charming how he slowly opens up to you too- one day he's telling you about how he actually sat down to watch that one movie you were raving about three months ago, and while he's talking you're stunned and thinking, 'did I tell him that? when did I tell him that?'

he's making an effort to trust you more as well-(which, in my humble opinion, is the biggest thing to him) he's actively forming plans to see you out in broad daylight, even if it's a ten minute walk with you to the grocery store or something. and maybe it's standing in the produce aisle with you crying with laughter over your dumb Jennifer Coolidge impression or maybe its the stupid fluorescent lights making his head feel foggy; but there is a quiet moment when Jason realizes that he's laid all his cards on the table, bare for you to see.

or something.

[susiephone]

the comments on my "which horror movie would you survive" poll are so fucking funny because you can fully tell who hasn't actually WATCHED some of these movies, or at least, not watched in a while.

"i'd survive saw because i'm a good person so i wouldn't get put in a saw trap!" my dude john kramer puts people in saw traps for using recreational drugs and being suicidal. he LOVES to put totally innocent people in saw traps to punish someone else. this is first-movie shit. you probably think the villain of saw is the puppet.

"i'd survive scream because i never answer the phone!" do you think ghostface only kills people they talk to on the phone. do you. do you think that is the deciding factor. look me in the eye do you think whether or not you answer the phone is how ghostface decides whether or not to target you.

"i'd survive scream because i'm not a teenager!" ghostface has been killing adults since day one. actually, since before day one since the death of a fully adult woman is like. a pretty big thing that happened before the first movie even started.

"i'd survive scream because the killer's just a couple of normal humans!" okay this one i will give you. in a straight fight, yeah, you probably have a better shot at defeating ghostface than most slashers. but he's not just two randos. he's two of your FRIENDS. guess which two! ghostface's biggest weapon is always surprise. they get their shit wrecked approximately 10 minutes post-reveal.

"i'd survive a quiet place because i'd shut up!" but do you snore? can you guarantee you won't ever sneeze at the wrong moment? what if a tree falls near where you are?

"i'd survive cabin the woods-" if you're in that movie, you're being drugged and actively manipulated. all those characters would've survived if they hadn't been drugged and actively manipulated. that's the point.

"i'd survive 28 days later-" nope. sit down. (there's a reason this was easily the least popular response.)

honestly the most valid responses were "CELIBACY SWEEP" and "ace rights!!" for "it follows."

[iheartpeppino]

Here's what I think the Pizza Tower cast thinks of Maurice Spaghetti...

Peppino: The poor guy can't stand Maurice. He's one of the biggest reasons Peppino doesn't come home for Christmas anymore. After putting up with his abuse for years, Peppino is just... tired of Maurice. He's tired of arguing. He just says, "I know," to every horrible thing his brother says about him. And the worst part is, Maurice seems to invite himself into Peppino's life whenever he least expects or wants it. This is because Maurice is such an asshole he literally has no friends and relies on Peppino for company.

Gustavo: He also can't stand Maurice. He HATES him, actually. Gustavo really cares about Peppino, so the fact his own brother treats him like shit infuriates him. He has threatened to kill Maurice before (remember Gustavo's catchphrase?), so Maurice is (rightfully) afraid of Gustavo.

Brick: Our rat buddy can smell a bad egg a mile away. He does NOT like Maurice and will hiss at him whenever he appears. Maurice claims that Brick is "the second-biggest rat [he's] ever seen", so he's... a little unnerved by the sight of him.

Mr. Stick: He hasn't met Maurice yet, but I guarantee you if he DID, he'd try to scam him out of a lot of money and would likely succeed. Cue Maurice crashing with Peppino until he can get his house back. Peppino is miserable and not amused by any of this.

Pepperman: Met Maurice during filming of The Noise's "Swap Mode" movie. Pepperman thinks Maurice is really unpleasant to deal with due to his negative attitude and close-minded outlook. Even a pseudo-intellectual like Pepperman runs circles around Maurice intellectually, which the pepper is happy to do, much to Maurice's frustration.

The Vigilante: Met Maurice during filming of The Noise's "Swap Mode" movie. He does NOT like him. He actually feels bad for Peppino; it must truly suck to have such an immoral piece of cow dung for a family member. Apparently the guy conned his own granny out of thousands of dollars! The Vigilante keeps a very close eye on Maurice the whole time they're around each other. Maurice feels his sins crawling on his back the whole time.

The Noise: He's generally neutral towards Maurice. He thinks all the mean things Maurice says about Peppino are funny. It's when Maurice starts spouting racist rhetoric he's like, "DUDE" and rendered completely speechless because... well, he's never heard Peppino talk like that, so where'd his fucking brother get it from!? Anyway... The Noise only hangs around Maurice if he needs him for something, like annoying Peppino. Maurice has tried befriending The Noise, inviting him to hang out, but The Noise isn't interested in being friends with a racist prick. He does, however, want to remain on Maurice's good side in case he needs him, so he just makes up excuses about being too busy.

Noisette: Noisette is not the kind of person who hates people easily. She tries to see the good in everyone. However, she sees no good in Maurice. She hates him, openly, and without regret. She hates the mean things he says about Peppino. All the bigoted, ignorant blather he spews. How he once assaulted an innocent laundromat worker and called her a bitch just because she told him he couldn't pay to do laundry using nickels. Noisette growls like a rabid dog whenever Maurice is around. Maurice is (rightfully) terrified of Noisette...

Fake Peppino: Our favorite frog man met Maurice during filming The Noise's "Swap Mode" movie... he doesn't like him at all. Maurice is loud, mean, and generally unpleasant. When they were filming Swap Mode's Fake Peppino boss fight, Fake Peppino actually tried to kill Maurice. The Noise had to step in and scare Fake Peppino off. Fake Peppino had to pretend he was simply getting a little too into his role instead of trying to actively hunt down Maurice. Playing dumb. Playing pretend... and sneaking a hiss or growl in Maurice's direction when no one else is looking. Maurice is absolutely terrified.

Pizzahead: Met Maurice during the "Swap Mode" movie. Holy mozzarella sticks, this schmuck is Peppino's brother!? And he... bullies Peppino? WHAT THE FUCK, THAT'S HIS JOB!! Pizzahead acts polite and even friendly towards Maurice at first, but as soon as they're alone together, he very calmly threatens Maurice's life, telling him to leave Peppino alone or else, all with a big, unnerving smile on his face. Maurice practically pisses himself in fear as he's forced to agree... for now...

Pillar John: Met Maurice during filming of "Swap Mode". Decided he absolutely did not like him, judging him for every hateful word that came out of his mouth. Fortunately, Maurice is so terrified of Pillar John's sheer size and strength, he doesn't pull his usual bullshit with the big guy.

Gerome: Met Maurice during filming of "Swap Mode". Gerome doesn't like Maurice at all, but he's not too bothered by his presence. In fact, he completely manages to ignore him. Maurice is insulted, but he's not about to talk shit about Pillar John's brother...

[apoptoses]

Have you ever been reading Devil’s Minion and thinking to yourself, “damn, I just can’t nail down a face for Daniel”? Have you watched Interview with the Vampire and felt like neither Christian Slater nor River Phoenix hit the mark for you?

Allow me to introduce you to James fucking Spader.

Look at him! Is that not the face of Daniel, completely fed up with Armand feeding his cigarettes down the garbage disposal?

He’s got the naive and beautiful face but ALSO the defiant yet beseeching thing down! Also he was like 22 here, which is right around the age Daniel met Armand so he’s at peak Healthy, Pretty Molloy here. No wonder Louis decided to take him home!!

“Do you know what a zip code is, or a tax bracket? I’m the one who buys all the goddamned airline tickets. Millions. How are we going to get millions! Steal another Maserati and be done with it, for God’s sakes!”

Spader is the original 80′s pretty boy you’d assume starred as the leading man in some schmoopy romances or schlocky teen dramas and he did that for a minute. Like check him out in Pretty in Pink-

 Is this not peak Night Island Daniel, in his Miami Vice looking bespoke suit ready to head out with Armand for the night?

Look at him snuggled into his blanket in Tuff Turf, like Daniel hungover and forcibly woken up to honky tonk piano tunes!

But the deliciousness doesn’t end at his looks. Because in true Molloy fashion that man said ‘you know what? I wanna make movies for freaks and weirdos only’

In Sex, Lies and Videotape he plays the sweetest pervert who loves interviewing women about their sex lives, video taping it, and then watching them back naked but not actually getting off! He’s impotent, he’s a gentle and lovely weirdo, there’s vampire!Daniel fodder for days in this one.

Crash is a horny flick that defies all explanation and really you need to go in blind if you’re gonna watch this one, but let me just say this: If Spader and his Wife in this film aren’t the most Daniel and Armand coded couple in cinema history I will eat my shoes. Also there’s tons of beautiful footage of him driving around at night with his blond hair ruffling in the breeze.

Your prefer your Daniel with glasses? Oh, perfect, because in Bad Influence he plays a sweet guy who gets into a fucked up situation with a toxic friend and a sex tape!

In Storyville he lets himself be thrown on the floor and lays there submissively before getting involved in yet another sex tape scandal!

Don’t even get me started on Dream Lover, another smut filled romp (with some filthy deleted scenes if you google the uncut version) which has the most Devil’s Minion promo photos of all time-

Like! Get the fuck out!

I could just go all day about his body of work but some of it you’ve just gotta see for yourself. In pretty much every film you’re guaranteed smut with him being deliciously submissive, extremely gentle with his hands, and down for all kinds of kink. And in most of his movies he gets bloody at least once, like-

this is a shitty picture i took of my laptop but look at the blood at the corner of his mouth! Vampire activities!

In summary, let me hit you with a photo dump:

Daniel laying in a cheap motel room during the chase years!

Daniel with delightful 70s hair!

More glasses!Daniel!

Daniel with a half-buttoned 80′s shirt looking so beautiful it’s no wonder Armand couldn’t NOT turn him!

It’s dark, he’s wet, he looks exhausted!

He’s the ideal beautiful Molloy Weirdo and I will not be accepting any other arguments, goodbye!!

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 9/17/2024

come take this very very friendly little man out of my bathroom! he is fiv+ and we are in houston tx! i am willing to drive a couple hours for the right home! he is a good boy he's just orange! more details here!

listening

emily jeffri's DENY off my spotify recommended weekly playlist: i can only describe it as "throbbing". immediately attention grabbing lyrics:

What kind of lover does your mother want? I'll do whatever, oh but you could not

very distinctly indie electronica. this would be the song in a cyberpunk/80s hacker movie where the chase takes you through an goth/alt fashion show where the models are actively giving blood as they walk or something.

i love the spotify daily mix for me and my bestie bc there's a guaranteed four bluey songs on it and it's a nice jumpscare. i know my mental health is taking a turn for the worse when a lot of mother mother starts popping up, i know my bestie's is taking a turn for the worse when a lot of girl in red starts popping up. suicide-watch-level sapphic angst singer-songwriter, generally. except for this song! extremely fun! didn't even recognize it as her! DOING IT AGAIN BABY is a more traditional selling-you-a-dodge-charger car commercial song and it's such a startling departure from her usual work that i wonder if it was a commercial commission? hard to immediately find out tho

I'm on a new level Something's got me feelin' like I could be inflammable And I might be I'm gonna light it up Nothing's gonna stop me if I say this is what I want

-

reading

i read twilight (yes that one) at the behest of my bestie and bc my mental health could not have gotten any worse in that moment. it has led to some uncomfortable realizations about my high school experience i will save for a therapist. i am mostly putting it here to remind myself that i read this book this year.

^ this is some silly goofy nonsense. not that i think people shouldn't be recognized at their retirement, but what happened to giving people nice watches instead of a thousand dollars in plaques

Saying that, the records did reveal something actually interesting: although the individual contract I sent a request related to was for a few thousand dollars, an attached blank purchase agreement (BPA) says that “the government estimates, but does not guarantee, that the volume of purchases through this BPA will be $360,000.00 over the term of the BPA.” So, a lot more than a few thousand bucks.

-

watching

Hang 'Em High (1968, dir. Post). certainly not clint's sluttiest role but really up there. i do wish he kept the fucked-out little rasp for the whole movie :(

When an innocent man barely survives a lynching, he returns as a lawman determined to bring the vigilantes to justice.

it has a typical bizarre shoehorned romance that (i think) deeply undercuts the theme it wants to explore, but there is no on-screen rape. the bar is on the FLOOR with westerns and yet i DNF so so so many.

hell of a whump film. literally everything happens to jed cooper. i will trumpet this again from the rooftops: that character needs cbt both ways.

-

playing

HIGHWATER, a 2022 adventure/turn based strategy thing from Rogue Games, courtesy of Netflix Games, whose game library is a fucking nightmare to navigate on mobile.

i loooove a water-based postapoc. the boat does in fact handle very poorly and like a horrible inflatable raft on mobile, which is both charming and frustrating.

i do not love a turn-based combat. despite the vibes off the charts, including a very well integrated "pirate radio" station as the game's soundtrack, i am not patient enough to muddle through complex turn-based combat. i'm sure someone had fun fighting off six guys and two bears (who aggro anyone and can one-hit anyone) and then a further three guys who show up for backup but i gave it the good old college try over two days and wasn't able to swing it. it would be nice to have either a difficulty setting or some way to spectate the ideal fight, but alas. a lot of fun environmental stuff in the fights you can use to your advantage, like the bears and these trees you can flatten your opponents with in a much earlier fight. there's a fun mix of different characters with different abilities and different weapons you pick up and keep during fights. i have no specific beef with this game's choice to make this the way you move through the game, it's just not my preferred genre.

a lot of book and newspaper collectibles in this one that i feel of several minds about. it feels less like environmental storytelling through newspapers and just the devs telling me their opinion when they provide little book summaries like this. also i wish The Industry as a whole was more thoughtful about using the word "insurgent".

not a game for me, i have once again confirmed that i cannot tolerate a turn-based combat no matter how much seafaring postapoc you drench it in :(

-

making

got a Phantom Menace era curtain panel for $4 at the thrift, and i was convinced it was fabric someone had made into a curtain panel until i got home and discovered it was an officially licensed product with bafflingly generous seams.

it's about two-ish yards of a 50/50 cotton/poly blend, which i feel like i haven't seen in a while? i think the current fashion leans more 70/30 or 100 poly for curtains i've purchased. after i finish unpicking the seams and pinking it, i am going to throw it in the wash again with some vinegar and see if that softens it up any, or if it makes the transition between the wear lines on the seams and the body of the fabric any nicer.

thinking about what kind of dress to make that 1) shows off this extremely large scale pattern 2) does not look like i am wearing a paper bag, and 3) does not look like the late aughts craft trend of sewing a twin flat Star Wars sheet to a tube top and calling that a dress, bc that's how hard up we were for feminine merch. much to consider. maybe it Will be a maxi skirt with pockets and i can wear one of my seventy black tees on top?

[drconstellation]

Lifting the Veil on the Bentley

Because I’ve been talking about the Bentley being Crowley’s black horse of late, I’ve had a nudge to talk about the number plate. I know it’s explained as an easter egg in relation to Monty Python, but I think we can explore it a bit further than that.

It’s worth having a quick look at this older post from @fuckyeahgoodomens where they explain the inspiration was from an animated scene from Monty Python's Meaning of Life .

The following is from the linked article.

As a nod to Terry Gilliam, who once tried to do a movie version of Good Omens, Gaiman and Mackinnon threw in a little reference to Gilliam’s origins doing animation for Monty Python. “The license plate of Crowley’s Bentley is ��Curtain’ backwards,” Gaiman said, because of the writing on the mausoleum in the suicidal leaves section of Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life. “Curtain backwards, like it’s the final curtain,” Mackinnon explained.

Before I get into all the connotations of “curtains,” there should be two things you notice about the “CURTIN” written on the mausoleum. The first is the spelling itself. It’s shortened to look like the Irish surname Curtin, so the mausoleum appears to belong to a real person. Curtin is an anglicized version of Mac Curtain, which means Son of the Crooked, or Son of the Harp, as the ‘crooked’ refers the hunchback shape of the Irish harp. I wouldn’t read too much into that, its probably more just a way of getting an actual curtain reference into that scene.

The other thing is that is not just backwards, it is mirror-image, as if you are looking at it from the other side of the mirror. So we should ask ourselves – which side are we looking from? And why does this matter?

While director Mackinnon mentions it referring to the “final curtain,” we need to start even further back than that to understand what the final curtain is, because even that has two meanings, even if only in a general sense. But because this is the GOmens AU, you can guarantee we’re going to find out there is more to it than that.

We need to go beyond the veil.

To go “beyond the veil” has become a euphemism for passing into death, or that unknowable place people go once they die. It was originally a figurative reference to the area in a Jewish Temple that was separated from the main body of the Temple by decorative curtains, called veils. The veils were specially woven, often with the image of a Cherubim woven in by a skilled worker; it was not allowed to be sewed on or added later. Each panel of the veil would display a different face of the Cherubim, such as the lion on one side, an eagle on the other, and so on. Only the priests could go past the veil into the most holiest of places. The veil was symbolic of separating men and their sins from the glory of God.  

The word ‘veil’ can be translated into English as ‘curtain,’ so the two words are almost interchangeable in respect of this discussion. I was interested to see that the word veil comes from the Latin word velum, which also means ‘sail,’ as in “to move, to drive a vessel or vehicle forward.” I have previously commented that the Bentley should probably be a “she,” as traditionally all ships were female, and that’s a tradition we still see carried into the modern day, thousands of years after its origin. I’ve even seen modern day space probes – little ships sailing the solar system – referred to as she! But I’ll not be pedantic about it, don’t worry.

Keep your hands off my bitch, bitch.

So the curtain, or veil, is the boundary between life and death. Only – we are seeing it from the other side. And in the GOmens AU this “other side” is very real, and one Aziraphale and Crowley walk through with both ease and without much thought. They are agents of those on the other side of the veil, yet they walk with Humanity in a solid reality on the surface of the Earth. They know the other side is real. When wee Morag complains about Elspeth’s body-snatching activity that the ones she digs up and sell won’t be able to go to Heaven because they will be cut up, Aziraphale tries to tell her it’s not like that, but she's not listening:

WEE MORAG: Aye. Tell that to the poor souls who will not get into heaven 'cause their bodies are all chopped into wee pieces. AZIRAPHALE: Well, that isn't how it actually… CROWLEY: Heaven isn't all it's cracked up to be, you know. WEE MORAG: It's no right. I'm telling you. CROWLEY: Yeah.

For humans, though, there is supposed to be no return once you cross that threshold.

When we, the viewer, see the two worlds meet, it's usually signaled by the presence of fog, mist or smoke. When Lesley the delivery driver meets Death, the fog arrives, as he is no longer in the living world. When Aziraphale and Crowley leave Tadfield Manor, we have smoke telling us we are seeing two different times and places at once - the past and the present are overlaid on one another.

The Bentley must exist in both the Human and subliminal worlds at the same time - how else can it drive like it does? It doesn't really need Crowley's hands on the wheel to guide it. It couldn't have started out like that - it was made by humans, but we all know the Bentley is more than just a car now.

It chooses the music to play on its radio, it refuses to speed when taking Aziraphale to Edinburgh until Crowley yells at it, it tries to follow the angel after he gets out at the end of the journey. How it got like this we will probably never find out, but we figure its become an extension of Crowley by close association, much like Aziraphale tends to influence the world around him without effort as well.

In terms of it being a black horse - well, now we get into some interesting stuff!

Horses have been companions to humans for longer than cars have been around, so there is lots of lore and symbology associated with them. Previous metas around S2 have focused on "dark horses," as they were specifically mentioned twice in the script. But a dark horse is not necessarily a black horse, and vice versa, so lets look at some of the aspects of black horse symbology in particular that could be relevant to the Bentley and it role in traveling between worlds.

Horses were the original vehicle of the ancient world. While Famine was supposed to ride a black horse (the others were white, red and pale green for pestilence,) the black horses could also be messengers of death, a demon bringing death or a guide to the afterlife. In the Illiad, Achilles sacrifices four horses on the funeral pyre to accompany Patroclus to Hades.

[Edit: I've just put myself through the pain of watching S2E6 again, for reasons, and realised why the ethereal lift is in the entrance to the Dirty Donkey - because a black horse is a guide between worlds! Of course!]

They became associated with the Devil during the Middle Ages as the church tried to break the link to old pagan rites. The broomsticks witches ride are supposed to represent horses. And then there is the sexual connection to horses...which leads in a round-about way to the practice of nailing horseshoes up for luck and protection. Although perhaps the burning horseshoe on Jasmine Cottage is more directly linked to the story of St Dunstan tricking the Devil and making him promise he would never cross the threshold of a house that had a horseshoe nailed to the door.

Our favourite Bentley has been beyond veil and returned. Though it was kept valiantly alive through the sheer will of Crowley to escape the unnatural flames of the Sigil of Odegra, it expired at the Tadfield airbase once Crowley arrived and finally released it. It was only appropriate that Crowley took a moment to acknowledge its service.

Then Adam restored it the next day. Resurrected it, one could say.

Time for the "final curtain" to wrap this meta up.

To "face the final curtain" is another euphemism for facing death, or at least an ending. It's the final curtain of a theatre show, after the encores are done. Its the final fall of the curtain at the end of a run. Sometimes we might say its just "curtains" for something or someone, meaning it will be ending, as a shortened form. But both Aziraphale and Crowley knows death isn't the end; its a beginning as well. Its just matter of perspective to them.

I've seen other writers associate this final curtain with the first Armagedon't, and now we appear to maybe be facing the "big one" in S3 - the Second Coming. I think that is too simplistic an association, especially for GO. The reversed side of the veil could be so many things: the final battle, the ability of our ethereal heroes to move between worlds, it could even be Crowley returning from the "death" of being one of the Fallen. As always, the meaning will be need to be considered within the context of the scene, and which side of the curtain we are looking from.

[giggly-squiggily]

Just Tell Her, You Fool! (Cupid Parasite)

Heyo! Cupid Parasite has a chokehold on my heart and my GOD do I love these characters! Today I bring you a fic I wrote on a whim cause yes :3 I hope you like it!

Summary: Gill's got it bad for Lynette but struggles on actually telling her how he feels. Allen and Raul decide to help in unconventional ways.

“Wahhahait, wahahhait wahhahahahahahaihihihihihit guhuhuhuhuys!”

~~~About five minutes earlier~~~

“So- when are you gonna do it?” Allen asked out of nowhere, propped up on an elbow as he smirked in Gill’s direction. It was one of those rare evenings where he, Raul and Gil were free- thus leading to their impromptu movie nights. What started as them actively watching quickly melted into background noise as they grew to enjoy each other's company.

“Eh…do what, exactly?” Gill- who had been half watching the movie, half typing away on his phone, met Allen’s gaze with a quirked brow.

“You know. Tell her.” The dark haired man smirked more, amused as he watched the other blush scarlet. “Come on- it’s not exactly a secret you love Lynette.”

“Huh-I- what- how-” Gill stammered, wide eyed and flustered. Raul, the only one still watching the movie, quickly turned his attention to the new developments around him.

“Who’s in love?” Seeing Gill’s red cheeks and Allen’s playful gaze, he whistled. “Wow, I never thought you two would be a thing. Oh, it’s like Achilles and Patroclus! History said they were best friends, but we can clearly see-”

“Not me, you twit. Lynette.” Allen threw a pillow at him, shutting up Raul’s ramblings. “He’s in love with Lynette!”

“Not so loud! She might hear us!” Gill cried back, taking the pillow Raul discarded and hiding his face in it.

“Isn’t that a good thing? You like her- why wouldn’t you want her to know?” Raul pawed at the pillow until Gill’s eyes were visible. “Heh, you really were hit by Cupid’s arrow, huh?”

“Shush. Of course I want her to know- it’s just..it’s been 2 years! She never noticed my feelings before, and she isn’t going to notice them now.” He groaned pathetically in his pillow, laying back against the red of the sheets. “She’s just not into me, guys.”

The two grew quiet as they thought it over. Then..

“Did you ever tell her?” Allen asked, poking his arm. “Like- directly, I mean.”

“Erm..”

“Oh my god! You never told her outright!?” Raul gasped in shock. “I’m no romance guru, but even I know if you want a girl to like you, you gotta let her know your intentions! It’s like that one story in mythology with-”

“You never flat out told her? No wonder you’re the lovelorn parasite.” Allen laughed, no real malice in his voice. “That can change, you know? You just have to tell her now. Make it clear to her what your feelings are.”

“You're just saying that so you can steal her away.” Gill glared mildly at the other, irritated when Allen lifted a shoulder. “Even if I did, there's no guarantee she’ll feel the same. I’m…scared of rejection. What if she says she wants to be friends? Or tell me it’s too late? What if- what if she hates me after and tells me to leave her alone?” Tears burned behind his eyes, much to Gill’s embarrassment. “I can’t…I don’t want to face that…”

Raul and Allen shared a look over him, conversing with their eyes. Then..

“WHA!” Gill yelped when his pillow was yanked away, vision filling with Allen’s form as he threw himself on top of him. “Allen- what are you-” His hands were quickly grabbed by Raul, strong and stubborn as they were pressed into the sheets above. “What’s happening?”

“Scared, eh? Looks like we’re gonna have to help you get over that.” Allen grinned down at him, dripping with devious intent. “Right, Raul.”

“Of course! Get ready, Gill- this is for your own good!” He flexed his fingers, sending shivers of anticipation up the trapped man’s back as he realized just what was about to happen.

“Wait- waahhahahahahhahait!”

~~~Current time~~~

“Wait nothing! The longer you hold out on telling her, the sooner she’s gonna fall in love with someone else. She won’t wait for you forever, Gill.” Allen chided, fingers flying over Gill’s stomach with ease.

“Maybe not, Allen-there’s a chance! You're the Penelope to her Odysseus- in the tale, she waited 20 years for him.” Raul sighed some in romantic swoon, one hand keeping Gill’s wrist trapped as the other dug into the crevices of his neck- making him squeal. “That’s some serious dedication. Of course- you’re not going to war and there isn’t a whole array of suitors waiting for her to give in; your odds are still rather thin.”

“I knohohohohow thahahahhahat! Aheahhahaha, cohoohohme ohohohohon! Leheeheht mehehe uhuh-EHEHEH!” Fingers digging into his lower ribs made Gill all but arch off the bed- nearly sending Allen flying. “AHAHHLEHEHEHEHN!”

“Yehehehs?” The brunette mocked him with a grin, delighted by the reaction.

“DOOOHOHN’T NOOHOHOT THEHEHEHHERE!” Gill pleaded, kicking his feet against the mattress as he squirmed and thrashed beneath both of his friends. “PLEAHHAHSE!”

“Hm…alright. I suppose I can stop tickling here.” Allen did as requested, giving Gill a second to breathe. “How about…here?”

“Al- wahIIHIHIHIIHIHIIHIHT!” Gill all but cackled as one of his armpits were attacked, his laughter renewing by tenfold. “COOHOHOME OOHOHON!”

“Oo, he’s so ticklish!” Raul giggled from above, moving from his neck to the other armpit, further driving the other boy up a wall. “Coochie coochie coo! A coochie coochie coo!”

Gill could feel his soul threatening to leave his body- a death by tickles in a home that didn’t even belong to him. At least he was surrounded by good friends.

Sure- they were the ones causing his demise but like- good friends.

“Are you gonna tell her?” Allen asked, dropping his hand to his upper ribs. Still a tickle spot, but the feeling of immediate demise started to fade.

“YEHEHEHEHS!”

“Promise?” Raul asked, going back to his neck. “We’ll be asking her questions to follow through if you don’t.”

“YEHEHHS I PROHOHOMISE! I PROHOHOMISE!” Gill cried back, eyes wet and cheeks bright red as he swore his word to finally confess. The tickles came to an end, leaving him to curl up and gasp for breath as Allen and Raul laughed. “Goohohd, you two are tehheehrrible.”

“Nah, we’re necessary.” Allen ruffled his hair as Raul giggled in his hands. A water bottle was pressed against his cheek at some point, the chill much needed against his warm face. Before long, he was able to sit up once more, stuck between his two friends as he nursed the icy drink. “Feel less scared now?”

“Honestly..not really.” Gill admitted, flinching when they poked his sides. “Dohon’t- I’m not done!” Raul and Allen laughed. “Ugh. What I’m saying is- I’m scared, but…I’ll go for it. I’ll tell her.” He nodded firmly to show his resolve, suddenly too scared to look at either man. “Even if she breaks my heart…I have to tell her.”

“That’a boy.” Allen patted his back. Raul cheered and ruffled his hair. Gill smiled in his drink.

He was grateful to have friends like them.

Thanks for reading!

[optimisticsaladalpaca]

What the fuck. Like, seriously. What in the fuck was this post back in April. Who in their right mind actually sat their ass down to go on a whole rant about how an indie animation is a clone of another show that came out after the first? You can tell that this person was born with an ability. And that ability is stupidity.

Ok, so let's recap on this major 'what the fuck' post. I'm just going to point out things that makes absolutely no sense.

Do you know how many shooting games tend use firearms as one of the weapons when you first play it? Do you not know that firearms existed waaaaaay before Helluva Boss was getting developed? Because I guarantee you, Helluva Boss was not the only one that referenced about firearms at all. There's no originality. It's just straight up inspiration. Who cares if Lackadaisy is using similar weapons! You're acting like Helluva Boss owns that shit, dawg.

So actors can't voice another character after the previous one? Wow! Didn't think that was a rule now. My fucking god bloody hell... Michael Dietz who voiced Vee from The Owl House was the same lady who voiced Amethyst from Steven Universe for gods sake. Why is Michael Kovach voicing Rocky a bad thing? All because he used to be Angel Dust? Be glad that he's actually voicing a character that doesn't constantly swear and bring up corny middle school sex jokes that take up almost half of the pilot.

...This right here was one of the most stupidest takes I've ever seen in media and it will forever stay in my memory. Because what. The actual. Fuck. MOXXIE AIN'T THE ONLY ONE THAT WEARS A BOWTIE, BRO!

SO MANY SHOWS AND MOVIES ALWAYS GOT THAT ONE FANCY PERSON THAT NEEDS A BOWTIE, ESPECIALLY GIRLS. THERE'S NO ORIGINALITY. ANY CHARACTER CAN WEAR A BOWTIE...HOW IS THAT COPYING? THAT'S LIKE SAYING A CERTAIN CAR IS A COPY OF YOURS BECAUSE IT'S THE SAME COLOR LIKE...HUH? WHY WOULD YOU JUDGE FRENKLE BASED ON CLOTHING? WHO DOES THAT??? DOES THE OP HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE? HAVE THEY SEEN DONALD DUCK? BECAUSE HE WEARS A BOWTIE TOO... WHAT ABOUT MUSICIANS? BUTLERS? BUSINESS WORKERS? THEY ALL WEAR A BOW TIES...

Lackadaisy has been worked on since 2006 and it has wonderful world building with enjoyable characters that you can actually love. It's also refreshing because it doesn't have unnecessary sex jokes or swearing just to prove that it's "mature." And it actually has funny humor. Lackadaisy is it's own thing and I love the concept of it being in St Louis and that it takes place in the 1920s. Not to mention, it took the Lackadaisy crew four years to work on the animation pilot. Fucking 4 and it hasn't changed it's story since it was first created years ago. It had it's own ideas and interesting plot, while Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel have been getting worked on AFTER that! Plus, they aren't even comparable. They are completely different.

Lackadaisy is about cats that wanna shoot each other until their eyes stop activating. Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel take place in literal HELL. LACKADAISY TAKES PLACE ON EARTH 😬....

These Helluva Boss, Hazbin Hotel fans make me sick. Lackadaisy is better than both of these trashy shows and that's my own opinion. The fact that an actual great western pilot is getting compared to a horny demon show is beyond me.

[headspacedad]

so you're ready to socialize

You've got your blog set up. You've posted or reblogged something. Your icon isn't a faceless orange shape. You're no longer in danger of being blocked on sight as a bot.

Now what?

I recently got an ask in my inbox for help with this whole 'tumblr' thing. The person that asked me had a lot of the basics down so I focused on expanding your social circle - except it took me so long to write that I saved it in my drafts to add to and only then found out that once its in your drafts you can't reply privately.

so - Imma post it here without the actual ask so if the person didn't want to be mentioned they won't. Let's go!

First off, doing what you're doing right now by sending me an ask is a great way to get the ball rolling. Reaching out to other people and engaging them is a big part of how you can build a circle on tumblr.

You can do that with inbox messages.

You can do that with DM/PMs (the box that pops up to the side where you can have real time text conversations).

You can do that by reblogging other people's posts and leaving notes in the tags commenting about the post (most posters read these, though they're more for your followers to get your thoughts on a matter, like whispering in a movie theater except without the dirty looks)

reblog their post and add your own comments in the body of the post, basically chaining a response to their post, usually used when you've got something that adds to the original post like a continuation of the joke or more facts, etc.

and you can comment on the posts via the little speech bubble next to the reblog button, which is kind of like replying personally to the post (interacting with the poster themselves).

Not everyone will automatically engage in response. Some people are just here to chill and don't want to be social (some days I know I don't have the brainpower for it). A lot of people do want to be social though and so the more you comment outward the higher your chances of finding other people you can jive with. A good way to make your chances better at finding someone that will back and forth with you is over shared interests. We're a very interest based site. So find something you're excited about - maybe its a hobby like knitting, maybe its a streaming series like Good Omens, maybe its hamsters, maybe its Elizabethan neck ruffs! Whatever it is that you're interested in punch the words that will get those kinds of results into tumblr's search bar and look at the posts that come up. I tend to search by 'newest' instead of 'most popular' because it guarantees me people that are currently interested in whatever I am, who are actively putting their posts out there for others to find. Often if you start reblogging someone's posts, they'll see it and check out your blog. If you really want interaction though, the best way to go is one of the above bullet points, especially inbox or speech bubble commenting. It shows you want to talk about something they want to talk about too. A lot of times this is a great way to get more interaction with others and widen your circle (as well as find new stuff about something you enjoy). It might be slow going, I still haven't figured out what the magic is that gets someone a blow up of followers overnight, especially not the all important holy grail of Interactive followers but slow and steady still builds a good group of people you can enjoy sharing things everyone's interested in and it keeps growing over time.

This also works in reverse. A good chunk of my followers (friends honestly) come from my days in the Voltron fandom. I was VERY active making posts while the show was airing. Lots of fanfiction, lots of meta, lots of speculation, just lots of being loud and excited (and then loud and not excited). A lot of other people were interested in VLD too at the time and they found me and bounced off my ideas with ideas of their own and things really ballooned. To this day, a huge hard core of my social group are ex-VLD fans who have moved on to other things (mostly) but still hang around because we built that core and we enjoy seeing what the others in the group have moved onto and found to share with the team. So, again, find your interests and make posts about them so that other people with the same interests can find you. The more popular something is the more attention its going to get - but also the easier it is to get lost in the shuffle of everyone talking about a thing. Not every post is going to get responses. Sometimes I'll post something I think people will enjoy and get crickets. Sometimes everyone and their cousin jumps onboard. Don't get discouraged. DO use the tags. tumblr sucks when it comes to finding things in the tags but its still worth doing because sometimes, randomly and with no pattern, it doesn't suck. The first five tags are the really important ones. Make sure you put the biggest details there. For instance if you're making a post about the One Piece live action from Netflix your first five tags should be something like: one piece, opla, netflix, zoro, swords are cool. You want people looking for One Piece posts about Zoro and his swords to be able to find you easily. And, once they find you, hopefully to engage you about Zoro and his swords.

There are a lot of ways to find other people to interact with on tumblr. One of the pleasures of the site is you get to take things, for the most part, at your own pace and level of comfort. Just remember, the more active you are interacting with other people and their posts, the wider your circle will grow. Its not a 100% success rate, like I said, a lot of people are just here to vibe after a long day of having to be socially 'on' all day, but a lot of people are happy to find other people to get to natter about interests with. Do what you're comfortable with and before you know it, you'll have a group of people that interact with your posts, and you, regularly!

[sketchfanda]

Kirishima's Mystique:Babewatch

Somedays Denki wondered and worried if Mineta's libido was going to be the death of him. Now don't Ol' Jamming Whey wrong (and remember only Kyouka can call him that), he had a more than healthy appreciation for the opposite sex himself but the little grape-head was far too willing to endure great lengths of pain and humiliation to get his jollies. Small wonder the girls in their class didn't dare to risk wanting a look inside the runt's dorm room and right about now the human tazer was wondering if plucking off some of those sticky balls of his was giving him brain damage. Given what sort of plan he was looking to spring into action which he claimed was 100% guaranteed to get him some major action or if you were being a realist like kaminari?

It was an idea that reeked of sheer dumbass stupidity that would likely see Mineta at the very least get the crap beaten out of him or at the most and worst? Beaten to death, arrested and humiliated and not necessarily in that order, mind you. Now you might be asking what's got Denki so worries and Mineta more perversely impulsive than usual? Well naturally a little provision of context is in order here, folks....

The fine guys and gals of UA's class A and B were having a nice relaxing get together at the local community swimming pool one fine summer day. Said pool was being overseen by an absolute stunner of a lifeguard named Kanani who had come all the way from Hawaii on a work exchange program for a change of scenery. Now believe you me this woman was a work of sensual art, a curvy, thick and toned rich natural born islander tanned body contained within a skin-tight hugging red one piece swimsuit distinct of all in her profession. Definitely good genetics along with years of swimming and surfing topped off with a model quality face and luscious sun-kissed flowing mane of blonde hair.

She was definitely turning heads be it man or woman and who could blame them really? Now Denki among other guys was certainly fine just watching albeit with more control and a bit of politeness but Mineta? Good grief the grape head had been a bit much to deal with sharing way too many detailed, vivid scenarios about what he'd love to do to even get close to that island goddess. Which of course leads back to what was making ol' Chargebolt worry so much.

Denki:"I'm telling you man, it's just not going to work out the way you want it to…” *The electric ikemen reasoned with the grape runt. But of course he knew it was falling on deaf ears. Once Mineta listened to his libido, all bets were off. Hard to believe this guy was among the highest rated students in class on the written tests.*

Mineta:”Ooh ye of little faith, you’ll be changing your tune once I make my moves on that Hawaiian hottie.”*The human grapebowl arrogantly declared with confidence as shameless as his lust. In his mind this plan was fool proof, he saw it in this old 90s American movie. He’d fake drowning and Kanani as per her duty would dive in to save him then proceed to deliver cpr. And that was when he’d spring his trap…*

Denki however knew Murphy’s law would see to it that Mineta’s so called fool proof plan would be anything but. As he sat beside Sero who watched on curiously with him, wondering why the walking taser seemed so deadpan as they saw Mineta strut along the pool edge. Amidst the swarm of activity throughout as classes A and B enjoyed those rare welcome moments of actual student normality, Mineta shot a glance at Kanani sitting high and comfy in her lifeguard chair as she made some small talk with Mina and Maya before he smirked as he waited for his moment. Well he would’ve had it not been for what happened next.

If there was one thing to be said about the sequence of events that occured, it was like if klutziness played out as elaborate and over the top as a Rube Goldberg machine. As Mineta found himself stepping and slipping on a stray puddle, causing him to glide along the pool floor like an air hockey puck. Proceeding to crash right into the six packed abdominals of Kirishima, as the runt’s sticky balls caused him to bounce off and fly away all over the place like a pinball. Finding himself landing right in the hot tub with a splash, said tub occupied of course by Class A's own walking short fused, Bakugo who was none too pleased to find his personal relaxation time violated.

While Mineta was suffering his, quite frankly not undeserved, punishment, poor Kirishima had wound up being knocked by the grape-head into the pool. Which wouldn't be so bad had the stumbling not caused him to fall in such a way that his head had hit the edge on the way down. Rendering him knocked out as he fell in with a splash much to the shock and panic of many especially his girlfriends. Fortunately Kanani was quick to react as anyone in her profession would, exiting her perch to dive in and save him.

Now Kirishima wasn't sure if it might've been just the possible concussion of the loss of oxygen from water filling his lungs as she sank into the deep end. But as he looked up at the sky above the water, the sunlight shining down, his brain couldn't help but think as he caught sight of Kanani. Making him remark how she looked rather angelic, almost equal parts like a mermaid and an angel coming to his rescue. Certainly wasn't a bad last sight to see before his vision faded as unconsciousness claimed him, blacking out.

For a moment Kirishima had nearly wondered if this might be the end for him but he found he wasn't having his life flash before his eyes. No, rather it was his sex life as like a veritable montage, memories played of his sting of romps and fun times with Mina and Maya. Not to mention that of his many frequent erotic encounters and illicit, explicit liaisons, practically feeling their bodies against his, the tastes of their tongues and their lips on his. It all felt so very real before he cracked his eyes open, vision proceeding to un-blur and show that no, it was not a coincidence why the sensations felt so vivid.

The reason being Kanani was laying atop him, their surroundings indicating they were in the Pool’s medical room. Straddling his waist, the camel toe of her swimsuit grounding against the crotch of his swimsuit. The bulge bumping against her motions as she was pressing her lips to his, tongue exploring his mouth as it traced and memorised his sharp, pointy teeth. Not an unpleasant surprise to wake up to but certainly not expected to say the very least as she noticed he was awake, breaking their liplock with a trailing strand of saliva between them.

Kanani:*a sensual grin and blush on her sexy face as she sat up, not moving from where she sat straddling him.*"Aloha handsome, was wondering when you'd wake up. No worries, your head is fine, got a little carried away with the cpr, but I'd say your girlfriends didn't mind..."*That got the redhead’s attention as he looked to the side to see Mina and Maya sitting on a nearby bench. Sensual grins in their faces as they waved playfully, no doubt eager to watch the pending show. Before he looked back at the Hawaiian blonde bombshell who leaned close to his face, lips inches from kissing him once more.* “That being said, I think you and I both k know where this is going and I ain’t picky. Its been way too long since I got any action so tell me…you a riot in the sheets as much as on the streets?”

Kirishima’s expression became determined, his gaze passionate as he responded the way he knew best when in the presence of such a sensual woman like this. Making her gasp as he grabbed her glorious tanned booty with firm squeezes, pressing his lips to hers much to Kanani’s delight as they began to make out more properly. Tongues dancing together as the lifeguard rubbed her cameltoe against his pitched tent, her nectar flowing through the material of her swimsuit. Maya and Mina’s arousal skyrocketing as they fingered one another, making out as they watched their man once again prove his stud status.

Now for those of you wondering about the others in the meantime, they were resuming their R&R in the meantime especially after Mineta had to get hauled away on a stretcher after what Bakugo had done to him. Leaving the lifeguard plenty of privacy to enjoy the sturdy himbo as she performed in a 69 position, stroking his cock as she sucked and blew on it while he had pried the crotch portion of her swimsuit. His tongue probing away as he licked and ate out her pussy, tasting the flow of her juices while she levelled up and whipped her tits out. Sandwiching his juicy sex meat between her meaty boob buns, stroking and massaging thst length and girth with pillowy warmth.

Now if Kanani thiught this foreplay was getting her nice and wet, the moment Kirishima started to fuck her? She found him putting any and every prior man in her sex life to shame and she was loving it!! Screaming with wanton sexual desire and abandon as he fucked in a mating press. Her tanned booty jiggling with every impact of those heavy balls and that jackhammering cock dancing together in a sloppy open air game of spitswapping tonsil hockey.

Of course just the very moment he penetrated her had made he cum, orgasms rocking her so intensely that she couldn’t keep count. But any and every moment he came was a different story, the thrill and rush of his cum pouring inside her or spraying in her exotic skin the sweetest ecstasy. Of all the hunks at this pool today, talk about luck of the draw getting acquainted with an absolute unit as she continued to ride the Red Riot wave of passion. Relishing each and every shift in position and intimacy.

Kanani:”ooh fuck, oh god, You’ve cum 3 times and you haven’t pulled out once yet? You even human?”*the blonde islander babe praised as Kirishima was currently fucking her doggy style. Fully naked as her red one piece was discarded, laying in the floor as he pumped away into her snatch. Her tanned body glistening with luscious sheen of sweat, gasping with delight a the himbo stud used her arms as handle bars or firmly grabbed and pulled her glorious mane of blonde hair. Her boobs bouncing with erotic freedom as the medical bed shook and creaked.*

Mina and Maya were naked themselves of course and scissoring one another at watching their himbo teddy bear get another hottie get sexually addicted to his fuck meat. The blonde hottie screaming and howling as she was bent and twisted in a mating press and a piledriver. Before she found Kirishima really showing off those powerful muscles of his as he pumped her on his cock in a full nelson nold. Postion after postion, orgasm after orgasm and it only got spicier and wilder whe the cotton candy/bubblegum duo added the elves into the fray.

Mineta meanwhile laid in the exam room of the nearby local hospital, awaiting for someone like recovery girl to come along and heal him up. Currently heavily bandaged and mumbling at how badly his plan went wrong. Before he coils reflect any further and plan his next idea of making a move on Kanani, his cellphone buzzed as he fished it out and checked. A notification from Mina which he opened and screamed bloody murder.

Tears of blood flowing as he found his phone spammed with videos and pictures of Kirishima fucking Kanani as well as the alien queen and The shapeshifting hottie. Cursing God for making him so as once again Kirishima beat him out in terms of sex and luck with women. While Kanani was still noting her fun and making plans to get better acquainted with the chivalrous stud. Especially if he ever decided to come on down to Hawaii sometime….