#i gotta slow down and spend a little more time on details

[tsukinoxiv]

A witch never struggles. - a struggling witch

[pink-vacancy]

Hi ^^

It’s me, the creator of some gifs you like and the creator of many gifs you could’ve probably lived without. A few people have asked me for a giffing tutorial recently so I have made one documenting my normal process! I’m going to gif this Aespa stage in this tutorial because I am still pretty bad at coloring stages. So come struggle along with me 🫶!

Step 1. Getting Sources & Vapoursynth

The worst enemy of the tumblr gifmaker is tumblr itself. You will spend your time making the clearest gif imagineable only for the blue site to reduce it to pixels. But alas, we must gif on. The best way to get good results is have a good source and to precompress your gif with vapoursynth.

As far as downloading from Youtube the best app to use is 4k Video Downloader. 4kVD let's you get download your file as a .mkv which is how youtube stores their 4k quality vids. Only limitation is on the free tier you get only 10 downloads. There are other more technically dubious methods to get 4kvids but I've literally never hit this limit.

10 out of 10 gifmakers agree if you want those good good crystal clear gifs you gotta stick with 4k or 1080p sources. Although if you are a complete sicko like me you can gif 720p and still get pretty good (not great) results.

So now you got your source video but you won't actually be able to open that bad boy up in PS yet. This is where the Vapoursynth step comes in. Vapoursynth will blast that footage into a nice denoised, sharpened and resized little baddie of a video clip for us.

To download VS and get a more in depth explanation of the exact steps on how to use it please reference this post. The basic steps of Vapooursynth are:

Drop your source video on the "vapourscript (drop a video file on me).bat" icon and type in the timestamps

Crop your gif to your liking (I do a lot of 540 x405 or 540x335 for horizontal gifs. 268x480 for vertical.)

Apply the sharpness and denoise (these are the options I use):

copy the code from the white box and paste it into the script like below

I set my denoiser to 1.5 and my sharpening to .5. (I stole this from @hyeongseo lol)

Go to Script > Encode Video. Make sure on this screen to name your file and set the header option to 'Y4M'. (Sometimes this is the step where it crashes and all your dreams are ruined because it can't convert it unfortunately. But 99% of videos are good lol)

You will find your Photoshop ready clip in gifs/output

Step 2. Photoshop

You are now good to open up your clip in Photoshop.

if we export our gif at this moment it will look like this:

Which isn't too bad. They just are pretty washed out and a lot of times at this step you'll see a lot of grain.

Sharpening (again lol) and Noise:

This might sound weird cause we just denoised lmao but stick with me.

We are going to convert our clip to a smart object. If you want to slow down or speed up your clip make sure to do so before converting.

(Often times if i have 60fps clip I put it at half speed, but if the action of the gif is really jerky or flashy at 30fps a lot of times I'll set it to 85% speed)

Convert your video to a smart object by right clicking it in the layers panel and selecting the "Convert to Smart Object" option

Create a copy of layer 1 and arrange it so it is aligned perfectly on top of the first video in the timeline. You have to drag it outside of the video group to do this. It should look like this once you are done:

On the bottom clip (layer 1), select filters -> sharpen -> smart sharpen. Apply the filter with these settings:

Then on the same clip (layer 1) apply the same smart sharpen filter with these settings

Setting up the Sharpness like this makes sure the finer details with stand out with crisp lines in the final product. (Look at how the mesh on her arms is in finer detail now)

Your video might look a little crispy at this point and that is ok cause we are going to soften that.

Now on our top video layer (layer 1 copy) select filters -> Blur -> Gaussian Blur. Use this setting:

Finally apply filters-> Noise -> Add Noise to layer 1 copy with these settings

"Vacancy what the hell? It looks like shit now."

Yeah... But now we'll put layer 1 copy at 25% opacity and it will look less like the shit that it does look like right now I prommy. Here is the current output:

The idea behind all this blurring and adding noise is that it will help create smoother transitions between the colors of the gif and reduce large blotchy bands of pixels that can sometimes show up

PLEASE!!! Save your current step as a PSD file. You can skip having to apply all those filters and just drag the filter groups on to the layers after the smart object conversion step.

Step 3. Coloring

Now to the fun part! There is a lot of trial and error in this step since we only have 256 colors to play with.

Typically my goals for this step are:

Raise the black point (Make Giselle's outfit in this gif black so more color can be used on her hair, skin and the background.)

Reduce the overall contrast of the gif. (Darken the lightest lights if possible)

Saturate the colors enough so they stand out but not so much that everything looks gross.

Depending on how we do these steps we may need to subtract frames from the gif. (Which I hope not cause there is exactly 69 frames in the current version lol)

Here is an example of what my coloring difference can look like:

In this case the colored gif is actually smaller because I elminated a lot of the dark greys in the background.

Vacancy's Dumbass Original Recipe thing

This is probably the only thing different that I do from most creators

My first adjustment layer is usually a gradient map. The green and red one to be more specific.

I then change the blend mode to luminosity and set the opacity somewhere between 12 and 20% (Usually 15%).

This step brings all our shades closer together so we have more freedom with coloring later. Also when idols are very white wash this seems to bring out the shadows and skin tone better in later steps as well. If you overdo it though the person in the gif can wind up looking very orange or yellow so less is sometimes more here.

There's also probably a better way to achieve this but you know... oh well

My Other adjusment layers usually consist of:

Levels: With the gradient map applied you can darken the blackpoint of your gif pretty significantly.

Selective Color: This is the most useful adjustment layer. Make sure to expirement with adding to the black slider on the blacks and neutrals color options. Often times kpop vids are over exposed and darkening this can bring out a lot of unseen color.

Hue/Saturation: I use this layer to darken the blues of the background with the lightness slider as well. You can adjust individual colors with this layer and with selective color and that is a very powerful tool for coloring.

Start:

Finish:

Because I darkened the gif so much I was able to add around 6 frames!

Though I’m not 100% satisfied with this gif, this would be my process from the start. You can put those adjustment layers all in a group and save it to the psd as well to skip all the steps to apply them. I used all the same adjustment layers for the header gif of this post as well which saved me a lot of time ^^!

Since every video is different you usually have to play around with the sliders a lot between clips.

Step 4. It Flops…

Jk jk but it does happen a lot tho on this site so don’t get discouraged ☺️

Parting Notes

If you want a really nicely colored fancam to practice on I would see if MIRAI on YouTube has a fancam of your fave idol. Their videos are really nicely color balanced from the start where stages like this tend to be very bright.

I’ll probably make a follow up post with more coloring tips and my thought processes while making gifs but this is the very basics to making hq gifs hope you learned a lot.

You can always hit my dms or inbox with questions if you have them ^^!

[sakuraryomen01]

Valentino.. /Sukuna Ryomen x Female Reader/ .o4

warnings: asshole sukuna, college prep. school (aka bitch u at an expensive ass school), former friends to lovers, slow burned love, yuji is sukuna's little brother, getting ignored by childhood crush (*gasp*)

reader: female reader; 23 years of age, college prep.

plot: It's been years since you've moved from country life, since you've forgotten about all the things you used to love about your hometown and where you grew up from... you didn't think it'd chase you to college in the city after almost a decade..

words: 2.004k

fanfic masterlist: .o1 .o2 .o3 .o4 .o5 .o6 .o7 .o8 .o9 .10 (will be updated..)

a/n:: Srry for posting the Christmas Special so late loll I was with family for most my time so I wasn't able to meet my own deadline >< Anwyays, I'm hoping to pump out more chapters since this is going to be my next "big" series

~~

Thank you for reading this bit! Enjoy~

. . .

"So, Y/n. When do you plan on giving Mr. Ryomen here his first lesson?"

"L-Lesson?"

Sukuna's eyes widened a little at the news, obviously revealing to the teacher that you hadn't told Sukuna about your future tutoring sessions together. With a heavy sigh, full of annoyance and a little bitterness, Toji Fushiguro stood from his swivel chair and made his way around his desk to gather his things for the day.

"As you should be aware, Y/n has been kind enough to tutor you for the lessons and assignments you had missed the first semester," Toji said, signing out of his laptop and putting it into his bag along with a few folders of homework he was going to grade.

"Tutor.." Sukuna echoed, his eyebrow twitching slightly upwards at the thought. "But I made up for the missing assignments in homeschooling while I was moving here.."

"They were rather poor grades, Mr. Ryomen," Toji responded, his tone cool as he stood and grabbed his, now empty, coffee mug. "I expect a detailed schedule for your sessions and mapped out lesson plans for after classes. You may use my classroom or your dorms to study in, but have those soon or else it'll come out of your grades."

With a check of his watch, Toji made his way out the door and closed it. The click being the single sound that echoed throughout the classroom, breaths tight and quiet.

Sukuna's voice finally broke the silence as he turned to you with a dark glare. "..Tutor?"

"Yes," You answered quickly, your eyes glued to where Toji was before. Swallowing a thick glob of saliva before looking up at Sukuna, a nervous smile on your face. "Sorry I didn't mention it."

"It's pretty fucking late to say sorry!"

Not even a joke could fix your mood, could it?

Sighing, you looked towards the door and returned your gaze to a fuming Ryomen. His eyes were red but shining, jaw clenched but fierce. You couldn't help but find it cute as you giggled, making him more pissed off than before.

"What's got you giggling, huh?!" He barked suddenly, making you hold a hand to your lips as you struggled to hold back the laughs. "I gotta spend time with you now cause of my grades! Fuck.. my day is blessed with good fortune my ass.."

Placing your bag on the desk in front of you, you opened it and shuffled around before finding a notebook, pencil and an eraser.

"Write down the days you are free after classes and the times." You said, passing him the notebook and utensils.

"No."

"Sigh.. Why not?"

"I'm not going to show up, that's why."

You looked up at the stubborn man you used to call a friend and poked his chest, making him practically steam like a train. "Yes you are, your grades will suffer otherwise. C'mon, it's just tutoring."

Sukuna's nose crinkled up at the mere thought of being in the same room. Kudos to him, your happy he hasn't stormed out of the room yet. "Please?"

"Don't." His voice stern before he went mute for another moment. His eyes flickered from the notebook to your face, and back again as he considered thinking about it. "...How many sessions do I need..?"

. . .

That was obviously a poor choice of words.

You were knocking on his door within hours the next day. A gleeful and smug little smirk on your face after classes while he was trying to recover from them. Although you didn't want it to be the only reason, you were secretly hoping to at least bond a little with Sukuna. Since he wasn't the same person he was a decade ago, you wanted to get to know the new him.

It had been years since you both talked to each other, even then after he slammed the door in your face you still had hope. If you weren't going to date, being friends was good enough, that's all you really wanted.

Sure, the first few tries were a little hellish but your hope wasn't faltering. Getting to know him now as an adult was your top mission, aside from helping him get better grades in his classes and pass his midterms of course.

Once he actually opened the door, his hair was damp and you assumed he was straight out of the shower. He was wearing rather loose clothing and a towel around his neck, playing some random movie in his living room from the background noise of his dorm room.

Why did he agree to this torture again?

"How are you alive and walking? Today was hell.." Sukuna muttered, blinking weakly and groaning. After he had opened the door, his eyes got sore the moment he saw your smile. Too bright..

"If I'm honest, I don't know either." You answered, lifting a small bag filled to the brim with snacks to get Sukuna into the mood for studying. "I bought some of your childhood favorites! We can snack on them while we study."

With a chuckle, Sukuna was leaning against his doorway frame, a raised eyebrow and barely lifted his heavy eyelid. "Really? What were they again?"

As your silence only grew as you thought, Sukuna began to laugh. Not a maniac giggle like he used to, but a more simple and relaxed one. Even his sleepy voice added a more adult tone to it, a rapid fire of thoughts invaded your mind for a second. "Poor Y/n. Can't even fathom my favorite candy."

"Well, then tell me!"

He rolled his eyes. "Black licorice."

"....Bullshit."

Watching the sullen look took over your features, your smile disappearing, that was probably the only funny thing Sukuna's seen today. Minus that random video of a dude falling down the stairs that Yuji-kun sent him last night, but he wasn't going to admit that openly.

"Are you going to just stand here?" Sukuna asked, sighing and looking down at you. "You're starting to look desperate."

You flinched at this, whining about how you weren't desperate and so on and so forth. Sukuna's mind wasn't particularly ready for the constant studying for some tests, if you take his midterms into account of course.

"Could you please just come inside and stop whining," Sukuna groaned, removing himself from the doorway and heading towards the small kitchen that was placed next to his living area. "I'm going to take an Aspirin from all your bickering."

"Oi, stop complaining already!"

You huffed and took a seat on his couch (after closing his door of course. You didn't like being disrespectful even though this particular person didn't make you smile much.) "A-Anyways, I decided that working on other subjects would be good to do first before starting the really hard stuff."

"That's fine by me," Sukuna muttered out, gulping down the medicine and getting a sip of water to get it down. "What's your specialty?"

"Mostly Economics," You responded as Sukuna sat down at the coffee table in front of you. "But recently, I've been trying to get better at things that bugged me in my last few years of high school."

He grabbed the towel still hanging around his neck and continued to dry his hair while you put out the lesson plans for other classes you both shared, like your math and such. Thought you both weren't on the same level, Sukuna being a few classes ahead in some, you thought it'd be good practice for your future years.

Though, your mind was always wandering during the study session. You couldn't help but think Sukuna's damp hair was cute, or that his sleepy dimenor was precious. Hell, even his clothes held some adorable qualities to them. Hanging loosely onto his frame while he was writing down notes or reading something.

What was wrong with you? You were going to give up just yesterday, but here you were drooling and ogling over a crush.

"Hey, need help with that?" Sukuna's quiet question makes you jump in your seat. "You aren't paying attention at all, are you? And to think you were the one that volunteered for something like this. Slacker."

"I am not a slacker!" You whined, flipping through a few pages of your notebook. "At least I have some good grades in my classes."

A dark mood was waved over you, making a shiver go up your spine and a nervous smile lift your lips.

"If you're trying to be smart with me, stop it," Sukuna said, tapping his pen on the table and glaring at you. "I'm pretty ahead in all of my classes, it's just my absence in them the first semester is what's kept me behind in one of them."

With a grunt, Sukuna's mind was back on pace with his studying, switching from subject to subject. You watched with awe, a little nervous all the while though. It was so embarrassing that he was breezing by while you struggled once in a while with a question or a phrase.

Within an hour, Sukuna was ready to make some food and get a few shows in before sleeping. "Well, that's all for today anyways."

"Mhm," He mumbled, standing from his area beside the coffee table and heading towards the bathroom to put up his towel from earlier. "You can leave once you get your things.."

That last part made you wince, though it was understandable. It wasn't even a day ago that Sukuna said to keep your distance, and you felt lucky enough to be able to tutor him. Your hope would never falter to trying to at least be friends with him, or be at peace.

Might as well ask now since I have the chance..

"Sukuna?" You asked, looking around the corner just as Sukuna was leaving the bathroom. "I wanted to ask you something before I leave."

"Oh yeah? What's up? Is it about the next studying session?" Sukuna headed to the kitchen to grab some ramen from a cupboard, going to his stove and turning it on to boil some water. "If you can't make it, that's cool. I'll just study alone."

"No, it's not that. I wanted to ask if we could try being friends."

There was silence, and silence was never really a good thing in your area of expertise. You swallowed as Sukuna turned his gaze towards you after putting a pot of water on the burner, eyes half lidded as if he was bored.

"You're just as pushy as before," Sukuna commented, sighing and coming to sit on the couch next to you. "Why do you want to be so friendly with me? Feeling guilty?"

He could practically feel the tension in the room, it was suffocating.

"Yes.." You mustered, feeling your face burn with embarrassment. Of course you felt terrible for not being able to talk to him, or trying to reach out to him. "I want to make up for it, so please, let's at least try being friends."

Another pause, another hard pill to swallow.

"...I'm going to visit Yuji-kun tomorrow," Sukuna started, lifting a hand to slick his hair back as his eyes glided to lock with yours for a moment.

"Come with me then and we'll talk about it."

That last sentence made you smile, and the urge to hug Sukuna and thank him was overpowering. "Th-Thank you.."

"Whatever, just be at the front of the campus after Toji's class to meet me. It's going to take a while to the Hokkaido prefecture."

Your eyes sparkled at this. When did Yuji get there?

"Wipe that look off your face," Sukuna grunted, scrunching his nose at you. "It took a lot of money to get him into a good school, just like it was hard to get me here."

You nodded, working quickly to wipe the smile off your face. It had been too long since you saw Yuji.

"Well, get going. We'll need to get stuff done tomorrow before we can see my little brother."

a/n: kjskjsksjs it feels so nice to finally finish another chapter!! i hope this one was just as cute so i hope it was worth the wait. honestly, i been wanting to get the chapters a little longer but have been a little lazy with trying to write more. plus, i did say to myself that i wasn't going to make them over 3k words per chapter like Lost Lamb.

Chapter Song Theme: — lana del rey - summertime sadness (official music video)

taglist: @mageyboo, @mzladyd, @mysticwonderlandangel, @sukunaspersonalfleshlight, @kawaiipenguin20, @k-indie, @okkotsufav, @cafeinthemoon93, @pulchritxde, @bontenbunny, @deepinballs, @kleeboomed, @fallenfeversstuff, @fiierytearzx, @wo-ming-bai, @ririkaxbz, @instantgalaxysheep, @watyousayin, @z3r0art, @sukunaobsessed, @lik0, @sukunasfirstlove, @princesstiti14, @nemoyr, @ladywolf44005, @cat-mak20, @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn, @hxlalokidottir, @instantgalaxysheep, @domainofmarie, @the-moongoddess, @dark-n-dirty-duchess, @agentdedf1sh, @sukunastoy, @lyn-soso, @bao-yu-sarah-morningstar-wang-9

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[twistmusings]

Second years Asking out a Chubby!MC

A continuation of this post.

CW: Very minor angst in Jamil's section. Otherwise, nothing! MC uses gender neutral pronouns.

Note: This post has Floyd, Kalim, Jamil, and Silver!

Floyd Leech

Floyd is also super attracted to them, but he tends to have a hard time parsing romantic interest, so it takes him a while to realize why he likes spending so much time with them.

He loves how 'soft' they are (his words), and definitely likes to hug them if they will let him. Otherwise, expect a lot of pinching and cooing as if Floyd is channeling his inner grandma. It really depends on the person whether or not this is welcome, but if they tell him firmly to stop he will. He just shows a lot of his affection through physical touch.

If they are waiting on Floyd to hit on them, they're probably going to be out of luck. Floyd isn't a great flirt, at least not unless they are really into vaguely threatening flirting. He's all sharp edges when it comes to the early parts of a relationship, and he tends to be a bit more abrasive than he actually means to be.

It probably takes him a long time to realize his feelings. Like, as in years. His feelings are complex and tangled and it takes him a long time to sort them out on his own even if other people can see the signs coming long before he can. In fact, they might well see it coming before he does.

"It's never a dull moment with you." They're laughing, standing with their hands on their hips as they look down at Floyd where he's floating in the fountain in the plaza. He grins, in spite of the fact that if there was someone else around at this time of night he would definitely be getting yelled at.

"I gotta make it fun for you, shrimpy. Gotta keep you on your toes."

"I don't think I could ever be bored by you, Floyd."

They say it so casually, and they're smiling at him, but to Floyd it's a little like they just punched him in the stomach. In a good way. His chest feels warm and full, and they look so cute framed by the pitch black sky twinkling with stars.

This isn't the first time it's happened-- actually it happens a lot. It had taken Floyd a long time to realize because it seemed so slow and then all at once, but maybe, in hindsight, he's kind of been in love with them for a long, long time. He keeps telling himself no because it's been too long... like a weirdly long time, right? People weren't usually friends for this long before they asked each other out.

He's always been kind of impulsive, and maybe it's because his mind is so loud and busy thinking about the fine details that he can just act right now. His body seems to move on its own, sitting up in the water and still able to reach them with the way they're leaning over to look at him. His hair and clothes are wet, clinging to his body and face, and it's definitely not how he would have thought his first kiss with them would be, but it's... fitting, in a way.

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim thinks they're adorable, and being the ball of sunshine he is, he isn't shy about letting them know. He will often go out of his way to compliment their outfits or tell them he thinks they look cute. He wears his heart on his sleeve, and if he had to keep all of that energy bottled up he just might explode.

He definitely accidentally spoils them... hear him out, though! Money is no object for him, and whenever he sees something that reminds him of them, he wants to make sure they can have it too. Thankfully for the most part it's usually small trinkets.

He's not super subtle when he has a crush-- namely because he wants to spend all of his free time with them. He's also super touchy-- in general, of course, because physical touch is his love language-- and likes to hug them or just curl up against them while they do something, whether that's studying or just hanging out.

Kalim smiles up at them, wide and bright, from where he has draped himself across their lap. They return his smile with a lovely laugh and they pet through his hair. It's so nice, and Kalim leans into their touch, letting his eyes drift closed.

It feels nice to have someone that he can show his affections to unrestrained. He's someone with a lot of love to give, and they've never shied away from that the way a lot of people do. He opens his eyes again and looks at them with an unabashed look of love on his face that he hopes they notice. They're beautiful, more precious to him than any jewel or metal could be.

He turns his head, nuzzling his face into their shirt and murmuring something there where they can't quite see it. And if what he happened to mumble was "I'm in love with you", he would be just fine with that. After all, it's the truth. He's sure that they must know, anyway.

Jamil Viper

Jamil doesn't often get crushes simply because there's always a lot on his mind, so simply the fact that they stood out to him enough to leave that sort of impression is impressive in and of itself.

Jamil knows it's trouble, though. See, he's a man who's bound by his family and their duty to the Asim family so him falling in love with someone was always going to be difficult. He's always put himself second when it came to matters of the heart-- and he's gotten very good about bottling up feelings that he doesn't want to deal with until they explode. He really doesn't have any other choice.

In spite of himself and his best efforts to thwart whatever it is that he's starting to feel, he will still make an effort to be around them. He does his best to quash whatever feelings arise as they come, but he will still sometimes catch himself just stopping and staring. It's a little hard not to, honestly, he finds them deeply attractive and like a magnetic pull he can't resist that urge forever. In tandem with that, he just finds their presence deeply relaxing, and he knows that he can expect them to be a voice of reason when he needs them to be.

"Jamil."

He blinks a few times, feeling himself snap back to the present.

"Hey, Jamil."

The sound of Kalim's voice rushes over Jamil like a bucket of ice water, he can quite bite back the frown that rushes to his features as he refocuses on the task at hand-- helping Kalim to prepare for their exams. Despite his own mood souring, Kalim smiles at him brightly, eyes twinkling as he looks back at him. Jamil can already feel a headache coming on...

"Ah, Jamil, you've got a crush~" Kalim sing-songs, grinning at his friend. "We should take a break from studying so you could tell me about it!"

Ah. Any excuse to shirk work, really.

"Absolutely not, we've got enough work to review here and I want to get to bed at a reasonable time tonight."

"Awh, but Jamil!" Kalim pouts.

"No 'buts', Kalim. The last thing we need is you tanking your grade." Kalim flops dramatically forward onto the table, but looks up at him, batting his eyelashes in a way that Jamil is sure is supposed to be cute. Jamil's patience is wearing thin very quickly. "Besides, there's nothing exciting to tell even if I wanted to. Nothing is going to happen."

"Huh?" Kalim draws back, looking like he'd just been burned, eyes going wide. Jamil merely sighs in response, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Wait, Jamil, you can't just say that nothing is going to happen! Have you even told them you like them?"

"No." Jamil deadpans, delivering a rather severe glare to Kalim. "Why would I?"

"Jamil! That's so mean! To both of you-- wouldn't you want to know if they liked you back? You're just going to give up on it? Just like that?"

Jamil's frown tightens, and he thinks, bitterly, that it wouldn't be the first time he's had to give up something he wanted. It was just a fact of his life at this point.

It isn't until after his overblot that Jamil stops to reexamine his feelings long enough to give them any consideration at all... though he knows that he's not exactly shown the best side of himself to anyone. And he still doesn't-- it's his own way of being selfish. He spent so long living for other people that now that his feelings are on full display, he has a hard time shoving them back into that box... and fortunately or unfortunately that rings true for his crush that he's been desperately trying to stifle as well. He's surprised that they still will give him the time of day, but if they are willing to deal with him despite all they've seen he will accept their attention greedily.

That being said, Jamil waits a long, long while before asking them out formally. He falls into the trap of going from thinking he simply wasn't allowed to have something he wanted so much to thinking that there's no way that they could love him for all of his spines and sharp parts. It's only once he's fully certain that they would say yes that he would take the chance... and that's assuming they don't make that leap first.

Silver

Silver is, all things considered, pretty sheltered. He has spent his life under the tutelage of Lilia, who was a war general, and with only a handful of other people who were raised around him that were even remotely close in age to him. He's never really had experience with attraction, let alone with crushes or dating or anything that goes along with that. That's not to say he wouldn't realize he has a crush, but I doubt that he would actually know what to do with it when he did figure it out.

Silver has a hard time showing his emotions on his face, so in spite of any efforts he might make, more than likely the object of his affections won't be getting any clues from him directly. People who have known him for a good long time might pick up on it, but for most others it's going to be hard to tell how he's looking from just his face.

That's not to say he won't make moves: more than likely he will ask them to spend some more time together with him one-on-one. He's pretty chivalrous when it comes to courting, having gotten most of his information on it from Lilia and from the stories passed down in Briar Valley. That being said, his ideas of what are "romantic" might not be the same as most other people's. He would really enjoy asking them to come to training with him.

He would especially enjoy if they wanted him to train them, or at least show them the basics. It's a sort of bonding for him to train alongside someone.

Silver surveys them where they stand, hand poised on their sword for attack. He hums in thought, then steps in a bit closer to them.

"You want to widen your stance and turn your body a bit more. If you're facing a real opponent, you want to give them as little access to your body as you can while keeping stable on your feet." He says, using his hands to gently guide their body by the waist. He appraises their stance again with a thoughtful expression, then smiling ever so slightly. His eyes seem to go soft as he does. "You know, if you ever wanted to, you could probably make a fine swordsman out of yourself."

Their smile lights up their face when he says it, and it makes his chest feel a little tight. He doesn't know quite how to handle the emotion, so he clears his throat a bit stiffly.

"Perhaps, if you wanted, we could make this a regular thing? I'm sure we could both learn a thing or two, and I'm sure Sebek would love to have someone join us."

[distant-velleity]

back at it again with the crack fics

summary - i love you scarabia student B (not)

word count - 900+

warnings - dumbasses

tagging - @thehollowwriter

~

Ace sighs, flicking a card out of his sleeve. “This is so boring. Anyone wanna play cards?”

“Not with you,” says Deuce, his legs draped across Jack’s lap.

“Y’always cheat,” agrees Epel from his seat on the couch’s armrest.

“It’s pointless to play with someone who plays unfairly!” declares Sebek, seated on a pillow on the floor.

Jack nods in solemn agreement.

“You all suck.” Ace sits up to look at Chrysos, who’s leaning against the windowsill and staring outside. “What about you, Mr. Poker Face?”

“Don’t feel like it,” mutters Chrysos, narrowing his eyes intently at the sight beyond the glass.

“Ya look like a maiden whose husband went off to war,” Epel comments sarcastically.

Deuce shrugs. “I mean, Santiago did go outside to spy for us…”

A huff comes from Sebek. “For what noble cause? It can hardly be considered a war.”

“And he’s not my husband,” adds Chrysos, a little too late.

“Sure—”

Before Ace can finish, a parrot comes soaring in from the hallway. Santiago transforms in the middle of the Ramshackle lounge in a burst of feathers.

“You guys!” he exclaims. “You’ll never believe what just happened outside.”

It’s like he flipped some kind of switch—all the freshmen are instantly energized again, paying full attention and bombarding him with questions.

“Did that Scarabia guy say something?”

“How’s Yu?”

“Tell us the details!”

“You didn’t get caught, right?”

“Okay, wait, slow down!” Santiago holds up his hands. “‘Kay, so that guy who asked Yu to step out and talk with him for a bit. The August dude. He had an envelope with him and said the contents were really important. So I didn’t think much of it ‘til he shoved it into Yu’s hands and waited for him to read it.”

“Most improper behavior,” Sebek mumbles (which would just be normal volume for most people) distastefully, and no one disagrees for once.

“Right?” Santiago asks. “Anyway, listen to this: Yu asked him what his intentions were, ‘cause apparently the entire letter was just poetry, and then August bowed and asked Yu to go out with him?? So that’s where we’re at right now—”

The group explodes into a cacophony of shouts and protests.

“So he’s the guy who’s been leaving those poems in front of Ramshackle?!”

“First he chased you and Yu to Octavinelle during winter break, and now this?”

“Yu’s gonna say no, right? Tell me he’ll say no!”

“This is absolutely unacceptable!!”

“I’ma give him a piece of my mind—”

“Guys.” Jack’s ears twitch. “We can stand here yellin’ about it all day, but it’s happening right now. We gotta act.”

“Say less,” Ace replies immediately, rubbing his hands together.

They all make a beeline for the front door, tripping over each other, but with a clear goal in mind.

…

Compared to the last few times he was crushed on, Yu has never been in a situation like this.

“—I’ll get you flowers every day, I’ll do whatever you want,” insists August, a little aggressively desperate. “Won’t you date me?”

It’s very uncomfortable.

“Um…” Yu acts shy, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear. In reality, he wants to get away from the demands he’s endured for the past few minutes. The poetry was good, though, and that’s about it. “I don’t know, really… I think—”

“YU!”

August pales as Ace runs up to them, planting himself firmly in front of the TA.

Yu is equally dumbfounded, though more innocently. “Ace?”

“Yu~uuuu,” whines Ace, playing the part of a bratty boyfriend as he leans forward to cup Yu’s cheeks in his hands. “Didn’t you promise we’d spend more time together today? What are you still doing with this guy?”

“Wait, you’re taken?” August asks incredulously, just in time for Santiago to swoop in as a bird, transform, and blind him with an explosion of feathers.

“Sorry, Ace,” Yu plays along in a placating voice. “As soon as this is taken care of, we can do whatever you’d like.”

Ace’s eyes light up with mischievousness only Yu can see. “Promise?”

Behind him, Epel kicks August in the shin. Deuce, Chrysos, Sebek and Jack work together to drag the Scarabia student away silently. Santiago catches Yu’s eye and offers him a thumbs-up.

Yu sighs in fond exasperation and looks back at Ace. “Haha. No. Whose plan was this?”

“It was an unanimous group decision. Aren’t you gonna thank us?”

The rest of their squad, with poor August in tow, exit Ramshackle’s gates and head down the path to the Hall of Mirrors.

“Maybe,” Yu concedes. “When they get back from tormenting him.”

“Cool.”

Ace grins.

“And for the record, I would still definitely be a better boyfriend than that guy if we were actually dating.”

Yu punches him in the shoulder.

(BONUS:

Jamil can only watch as Yu’s band of menaces unceremoniously dump one August Ventus at his feet. He almost feels bad for the freshman. Almost.

“He’s all yours,” Jack says gruffly, and turns to leave Scarabia through the mirror. Everyone else but Santiago follows suit.

Except for the desert winds, there is silence.

“So,” Jamil finally says, “what happened here?”

“You can ask August for the details,” Santiago replies, sounding unusually happy considering the situation.

August groans.

“I’m sure he wants to tell you exactly what happened,” continues Santiago. At this point, he can’t stifle his smirk.

“You suck,” August complains weakly, rolling onto his back to sit up.

Santiago snickers at him. “Sucks more to be you.” He turns to Jamil and beams. “Have fun dealing with him. See ya.”

He runs off towards the dorm building without elaborating.

Freshmen. Jamil watches and shakes his head in resignation, then turns back to August. “…So, again, care to explain?”)

[ripdragonbeans]

On Monday - Part 1

ModernAemond x FemReader

Warnings: none really.

"Hel, wait up!" You laughed as you ran after your friend.

"No, you can catch up!" Called back Helaena.

Helaena had found a moat beautiful sunset moth and was absolutely dead set on catching it, if even for just a little bit. She finally slowed down to creep closer to the moth and crouched down to admire it. You caught up to her but kept your distance knowing that your harsh breathing would probably scare the creature away. Helaena gently guided the moth to her hand and brought the small one up to you.

"Look at her! Isn't she just beautiful?" Helaena wondered out loud. "All her colors, her little fuzz, everything."

You leaned down towards the creature and smiled. "Yes, Hel. She's absolutely gorgeous.

Helaena smiled at you before gently releasing the beautiful sunset moth. She gazed up at it, almost in a daze, when she remembered that you were with her as well.

"Shoot, Y/N it's getting late and we gotta finish that project!" Helaena cocked her head and gently tapped it as though she was coaxing a thought to the front.

The sky was slowly getting becoming a purple orange as the sun began to set.

"Why don't you just spend the night at my apartment? That way we can still hang out and actually get some work done."

You laughed at her little joke. "Of course! Let's get going."

The two of you linked arms as you made your way off campus and to her apartment. Despite being friends since freshman year, you've never actually been to her apartment before. Helaena told you she just preferred to be on campus basking in the sunlight and hanging in the quad with her friends. As an entomology major it did help to be on campus more often for the labs she frequently had to do.

As you two walked, you talked about everything and nothing at all. Pretty soon you looked up and saw the apartment, a fairly big apartment. Your mouth fell open in amazement. Everything was so sleek and modern, and that was just the exterior.

You felt a slight pull on your arm. "Come on, girl! I know it's a bit intimidating, and if it makes you feel better I miss living in my childhood home. Way more plants and much more inviting, if you ask me, but I promise you the inside is really chill." Helaena shook her head slightly and chucked. "Well, as chill as it can be living with my two brothers. They can get a little…heated at times, but I think you’d get along with Aemond,” giving you a knowing glance.

"Oh, I didn't know you had brothers! I mean, I knew you had brothers but I didn't know you lived with them," you squeezed out. You deliberately ignored her suggestion of her brother to you.

It wasn't a lie. You knew Helaena had brothers but you had no idea what they looked like and absolutely didn't know that they shared her apartment as well. They were simply little thoughts that have never been important enough to question and bring to life until now. Well, at least one of them was. All you ever really heard about in a positive way was Aemond. He piqued your interest, even if you only knew him as Helaena’s brother.

Helaena tugged your arm a little harder, giving you no choice but to follow her. As you neared the door you couldn’t help but take in every little detail. The delicate carvings on the walls created a beautiful texture that shone brightly against the dark grey paneling. Before Helaena could unlock the door it opened up to reveal the same silver blond hair as Helaena’s.

The guy looked you up and down with no shame and no attempt to hide his action. A mischievous smile tugged at his lips.

“Well, hello there,” he drawled.

“Hey, Aegon! This is my friend Y/N and she’s gonna be spending the night with us. We have a project to work on so don’t mind us,” Helaena explained.

“Spending the night, huh?” Aegon’s smile has definitely made his way to his face now. “I’ll be around, don’t hesitate to call me if you want some more…company.”

Aegon gave you a little wink before moving out of the doorway to let you two in. He was attractive, you gave him that much. He gave you sneaky vibes, like someone you know would get the both of you in trouble if you decided to become friends with him. Aegon looked like he was on a prowl and his wink and smile solidified that assumption.

As you walked through the threshold, your breath got caught in your throat yet again. The exterior of the apartment was stunning and the interior was no less beautiful. Unlike outside, everything inside the apartment seemed to hold a story, some old and some new. Pictures decorated the wall along with what looked like religious icons and stars.

You could hear some noise coming from a room nearby and you were a little relieved when Helaena led you that way. You met the first brother and were now nervous about the second. Helaena has been suggestive about you and her brother getting to know each other better, maybe something even more than that. Your hands felt a little clammy as you entered the living room. The Planet Suite played softly in the back.

Helaena called out to her second brother. “Aemond? I know you’re here. I want you to meet my friend, Y/N!”

Soon enough a tall, lanky body stepped out of the hallway, looking a little annoyed but softened at the sight of his sister.

“Yeah, Hel?” Aemond asked as he leaned against the wall.

“Just wanted to introduce you to Y/N! She’ll be staying the night and I just wanted to let you know,” she smiled at her brother.

Aemond looked at you and you felt your heart quicken. He was beautiful. He had a violet eye and what looked like a shining blue gem in place of the other with an aggressive scar passing through it. His silver hair was pulled up in a half bun while the rest of his hair cascaded to his shoulders. Aemond’s good eye scanned your body, similar to the way Aegon had done before but in a gentler way. He didn’t seem hungry.

“Well, make yourself at home, Y/N. I’m going to be working on an essay here if you and Hel are going to hang out in her room.”

“No! Stay here, Aemond!” Helaena stopped him before he could turn back to get his things from his room.

You looked at your friend, pretending to be confused as to why she was asking him to stay. Helaena was trying to put a plan in motion and you were both dreading and looking forward to it.

“Helaena, if he has work to do we should leave him alone,” you half whispered to her. Part of you didn’t want him to stay, nervous about what could potentially happen if he did. But at the same time you were curious and wanted to venture into this situation that your friend has obviously planned out in her head.

“Y/N, we’re going to want his help.”

Aemond’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “My help? My sister and her friend needs my help for what?”

You quickly explained what was going on. “We’re just working on a little philosophy project as well, it’s no big deal. You can work and we’ll leave you alone.” Your heart beat a little faster when you locked eyes with him and made fast work to break it.

“Aemond is a philosophy major, and it would be really useful to have him around while we did this,” Healaena all but pleaded.

“If it has to do with philosophy then I can help. And if you have Dr. Greyjoy you’re going to want my help,” Aemond simply stated his fact and immediately left to gather his materials.

While he was gone you gave Helaena a desperate look and groaned. She gave you an uncharacteristic sly smile.

“Oh, give him a chance, Y/N! You need something else in your life besides academics and so does he. It’s a perfect match. Would you rather I try to push you towards Aegon?” She questioned.

“Please, no, not Aegon. He already looked at me like I was his next meal.” You chuckled and took a deep breath. “Okay, I put my trust in you, Hel. But know that if he breaks my heart, you’re going to have to be the one who takes care of me for a few days.”

Helaena squealed. “Yes! Oh, I’m so excited!”

“Excited about what, Hel?” Aemond had come back into the room looking amused at his sister.

“Nothing, nothing! Let’s just get this project started!”

Aemond gave a small chuckle as he plopped down on the couch and you hesitantly took the love seat across from him. Aemond layed out all his books and notes and smiled up at you as Helaena took the seat next to him giving you the biggest smile while flicking her eyes between you and her brother.

“So, let’s see how you guys are faring, shall we?”

[jdmara]

ok yes i’ve seen the asshole video but can u go more into detail abt the tour im just super curious and it’s so hard to find information abt them

you basically gotta take everything i say with a little grain of salt because i was being five in feb 2003 so i’m getting this all second and thirdhand but it’s not terribly difficult to put a timeline together based on various interviews and website sources and archived photos. everybody involved here is prone to exaggeration and narrativization a little bit but there’s a grain of truth to be followed. if you want any specific sources i can go pull them for you but basically it goes like this:

brian schechter is working as a tour manager for the used. back in august 2002 he goes to an mcr show at maxwell’s and decides he wants to manage them, and begins the slow process of wooing them. flash forward to february 2003, he’s still not their manager but he gets them a spot on a tour with the movielife, the used, and finch. the first date of that tour is february 4th. (by all accounts 2 days later in irving plaza is the first time they met bob bryar, then sound tech for the used.) gerard and bert get along like crazy.

february 14th. bert breaks up with kelly osbourne over the phone in indianapolis and gossip rags pick up the news. also, ray posts on the website that mcr has scheduled their first headlining show and also have gotten word of perhaps some european dates, though they don’t have the specifics yet. brian, still not their manager, has come in clutch yet again.

february 15th. frank splits ray’s head open with a guitar and somebody takes an awesome photo of it.

february 16th. in chicago, gerard and bert go on the bender they refer to as their first date and where they first kissed. there was actually a reporter there following the used who wrote about it a little in an mcr retrospective relatively recently.

february 17th. bert and gerard are so hungover they miss soundcheck for the second chicago show. also, brian officially comes on as mcr’s manager, though they never actually put anything down on paper, which is gonna make it real difficult for everyone when they fire him years down the line.

february 19th. ray posts on the mcr website again to say they still don’t know the exact europe dates but that if you look at the used’s europe dates they’re probably on most of those. so brian is gearing up to spend all of his money on this european tour for a band he literally just signed on to manage.

february 21st. mcr’s first tour with the used ends. not to worry though the european tour is very soon. brian schechter’s about to make a real risky financial decision. it is gonna pay off, though.

[nanlanmoarchived]

a starter for @edhellfire based on that one tiktok

It's been days since she's seen Eddie. Carver and his goons had already been to the Hamby house. Twice. Apparently, someone had spilled about the pair of them spending time together and so Jessica and her family became unsafe for Eddie to hide out with. And so, along with Wayne, she waited.

Well, waited and also advocated for Eddie's innocence. A little ironic for the girl who'd taken to staying on the sidelines to go toe to toe with the town's golden boy to try and shut down his witchhunt. If only the others of the town would listen. Why Chrissy was at his trailer that night, Jessica didn't know, but whatever happened to that poor girl had to have put Eddie in just as much danger. He wasn't a killer. Why wouldn't they believe he wasn't a killer?

Stupid as it might've been, Jessica had taken to showing up at Forest Hills at night to see if she could run into Eddie under the guise of feeding the strays he usually tended to. It was a ridiculous idea that he'd risk coming back to the park when so many eyes were looking for him but she couldn't think of where else he'd go. Usually, it was nothing but talking to the strays and smoking a cigarette, but tonight? Tonight she heard Dustin screaming Eddie's name as she pulled up to the trailer and her heart dropped. The kid sounded terrified.

"Dustin?!" Keys abandoned in the ignition, Jessica flew out of the car only to be greeted by what could only be described as a scene out of a horror movie. Later she would get a very, very detailed explanation of what was going on but for now she was helping to figure out how to get Dustin back through the roof and how to follow him into the Upside Down. Cute. She listens to Dustin as he explains. Go find Steve and Robin and Nancy. Don't touch the vines. Take something to swing at the demobats. He'd go find Eddie and they'd reconvene.

For a moment she thinks this is going to work. Everything is going to be fine. She runs as fast as she can through the streets to find the other teens. The old Creel house going up in flames just as Jessica skidded to a stop outside. The others are just as surprised to see her as she is to see them but it only lasts long enough to relay the message Dustin swore they'd understand: Eddie decided to be a hero. It's as they come up to Dustin curled around a body she'd recognize anywhere that she understands what that means. "EDDIE!" Her voice cracked as his name ripped from her lungs. No, no, no, no--This can't be happening.

Tears are rolling down her cheeks as she gently took Dustin's face between her palms, "Dustin, we have to lay him down, we gotta get him stable so we can move him." She helped to gently settle Eddie onto his back, shaking fingers checking for a pulse as she cradled his head between her hands, "He has a pulse. It's slow but it's there." "We have to get him back through the gate." She can hear the anxiety in Steve's voice and she hates it, "Dustin and I built a ladder of shit to get back through the roof. There's cushions on the other side we can--" How are they going to carry him? Robin voices the same concern and for a moment Jessica's fine with letting those more well-versed in this shit figure it out. Instead, she turned her attention to the boy in front of her, "You were holdin' out on a whole other dimension on me?" She whispered to Eddie, carefully moving to apply pressure to the wounds she could see, nodding as Dustin did the same. Her breath hitched as she leaned down to press a kiss to his temple, "Please stay with me, Eddie. I just found you, I can't lose you again."

Steve sounds a little more sure of himself as he speaks, "Okay. We've got a plan."

[fawnsflowerbed]

If You Asked Him To || Leon Kennedy x Reader

Who loves angst? I do, I do!

Using @whygodohgodwhy 's conversation prompt.

“He’d die for you, if you asked him to.”

“I know. And it worries me that I’d never have to ask. He’d do it anyway.”

(Sorry if this is a little short)

After another long mission, you and Leon recall the toll this life has taken on the both of you.

Post re4 Leon x reader

Warnings: Angst ahead, mentions of violence and death, Leon and reader just wanting a normal life.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

After months of waiting, pleading with the universe that you’d get him and not a sad knock at the door followed by a heartbreaking message, you heard the door open slowly. You felt your own chest clench at the thought of that being someone other than him. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking like that. You’d memorised the sound of his footsteps. The distance between each step, how long it took him to get to the coat rack, and the small puff he always let out before climbing the stairs to your room. Two steps to the coat rack. Another five to get to the staircase. A slow exhale, then more footsteps.

It was him.

You were so glad it was him.

You’d get mission updates from time to time when he was away, the occasional message passed on from Leon to Hunnigan as she handed the transmitter over for you to read. Usually cheesy, something quick and sweet with little details to secure the notion that it was him. 

‘Missing you, sweetheart. Keep our bed warm for me <3.’

‘View here’s amazing. Wish you could see it, sugar.’

‘ I have to keep these messages sfw, so I’ll leave it at I miss you. You can learn the rest later ,’:)’

Especially that last one. That face sealed the deal that it was definitely him. He found it hilarious, and would sit laughing to himself at how pissed you’d get at him for how often he’d use that stupid little emoticon. 

And honestly in times like these, he needed it. Needed to know that no matter how worried you were, deep down part of you was rolling your eyes at something as dumb as a little face. He was a full-fledged dork with you, and he loved every second he could spend making you so much as smile. But that laugh knocked him off his feet. He loved making you laugh. 

That’s why whenever he had to leave, he’d crack a new little joke before heading off. He just wanted to hear that laugh one last time, that heaven-sent laugh that took a weight off of his chest.

“I think you should replace that calendar while I’m gone. Its days are numbered.”

“You know if we get a goldfish we gotta get him a bowtie, too. Then he’ll look extra sofishticated.”

“That moon looks amazing right now. Got his hair done and everything. I gotta ask him what barber he goes to. Oh you know what, I bet eclipse it.”

And then there it was. A little curl of the corner of your lips, a shake of your head as you wiped your eyes and chuckled weakly. Anything to soften the blow. To let him know you’d be okay.

But you never were. You’d never be more okay with this situation. Not when your partner was running off to some corner of the world to prevent a war or global catastrophe.

Especially after the Tall Oaks incident.

Leon had come home from that mission, bruised and broken from exhaustion, to find you wrapped in one of his old RPD hoodies. You’d curled up on the bed you shared, hoodie over your head as each silent sob shook your body. You hadn’t bothered to pull the blankets up over yourself. You just laid there, knees to your chest as you tried to snuggle even deeper into the fabric of the jumper. Searching for his heartbeat under the polar fleece, as if digging into it enough would reveal to you that this was all just a bad dream. And when you couldn’t feel his steady body with you, you kept weeping.

All he could do was stare for a moment. His heavy body, scarred and sore, pressed against the door frame as he watched the love of his life mourn him. He had limited contact with Hunnigan at that time, meaning there was no break for sappy messages and check-ins. No time to remind you that he was still alive. That’s when he realised just how much of a toll this had on you. 

He just bundled you fully into a hug without a word, watching those puffy (E/C) eyes stare up at him in a mix of confusion, realisation, and pain. A sob rolled from your lips as you clung to him as if he were oxygen, grateful to feel the usual sensation of his hand stroking over your hair as he muttered soft reassurances of  ‘I know, baby. I’m here. I’m safe.’ He’d change his bloodied clothes later, run you both a bath and refuse to leave your side. You both couldn’t stand the thought of parting.

 Since then Leon had sworn to take the time to speak to you when he was off somewhere. Even if it was just a quick ‘I’m still here’. To let you know he wasn’t leaving you, not on his watch. He’d walk through hell to get back to you. To hold you in his arms after a week of fighting nonstop.

Since then, he was now floored whenever he came home from usual missions. 

Much like he was about to be right now. He sighed out as he reached the stairwell, heard the tip tapping of your sock covered feet racing down the carpeted stairs, and gave you that usual Kennedy tired smile. He was almost knocked off his feet at the force of you sprinting up to him and engulfing him in a hug that smelt of fresh air and most importantly, home. The fact that the sheer strength of your love for him could nearly kick him to the floor was what he adored about you. Your love was big. Huge. He was amazed that such a big heart could fit in such a little body.

That’s why he couldn’t bear to abandon you like that. To leave you waiting by a silent door, sitting slumped on the staircase as you searched for any sign of him. He didn’t dare imagine it. The wail you’d let out as some unknown soldier told you the details of his death. The way he knew you’d crumple to the floor. How you’d refuse to leave bed for weeks, months even. He ran a hand over his face, staring at his reflection in the mirror to wake himself from that nightmare.

And that night he just stayed up watching you sleep soundly in his arms. He focused on the patterns of your breaths, each slow inhale and exhale that moved through your lungs out into the air. Leon’s hold on you tightened slightly, as if scared you’d drift away if he was too loose with you. Too sloppy. Too relaxed. He’d already lost so many people, but he refused to lose you. To leave you.

Leon got so worried about you when he went away. He just couldn’t show it, or you’d worry even more than you already did. He’d sit staring at his hands and imagine your smaller ones nestling there, interlocking your fingers with his own. He’d stop and stare at flower shops on destroyed downtown streets and wish he could give you that regular lovebird relationship. Flowers every month, breakfast in bed. But instead he left you with a kiss, a hug, and an ‘I’ll be back soon. Promise.’

And if he broke that promise, in that sick afterlife he’d never forgive himself.

You were his comfort, his safety in a hallway of a thousand living corpses. His flashlight in a dark room for the loneliest blackout. Every curve of your being, every hair, every freckle and mole. You were sculpted and chiseled into the image of perfection and delivered to him wrapped in soft blankets as you were escorted into the DSO office. 

And from that moment on, he had someone new to protect. Someone he was willing to take a bullet for.

You’d arranged to visit Claire at her work and volunteer wherever you could. What you weren’t expecting to see was the kids they currently had in temporary care, recovering from the unresolved issues revolving around the Panamstan incident so many years ago. The traumas still affected so many kids, no matter how young they were. That fear was passed down into these children somehow. So as you took your time washing up the used plates to help Claire prepare dinner for the children, all you could do was watch Leon.

When you stood in the Terrasave office watching Leon check in on the kids in recovery, you felt that bittersweet sting in your chest. After dating for so so long, you finally sat down and discussed potentially having a family in the future. Both of you were hesitant to even think of it. But god, how you wanted that picket fence life. The two kids with a dog. The home cooked meals and Leon ducking behind you in the kitchen to cuddle you. It was just so risky. Leon woke up in cold sweats from nightmares of coming home to the same situation he was found in as a child. Beloved slaughtered, children vanished. And so you’d rub his back as he laid his head on your chest, feeling the gentle stroke of your fingers through his hair as his breath evened out. He found a home in your soul that he refused to leave.

All you could focus on right now was how happy he looked. That spring in his step, brushing his hair out of his eyes with a loud laugh as he dodged a kid’s attempt to tackle him. How natural it was for him to interact with kids. The way his demenour changed depending on if he was roughhousing with the boys or hugging one of the little girls crying in the corner. In another lifetime, where you weren’t surrounded by violence, he would’ve made such a great father. The best papa. 

You could almost see it. It was just out of reach, like it was caught in a fog. No matter how fast you ran, you just couldn’t catch up. But you could make out the sight of a baby girl swaddled in blankets as Leon wiped his eyes. He’d hold her in one arm, holding your hand with the other. Whispering over and over about how thankful he was and how much he loved you. Hearing your daughter stir slightly as he shushed her gently. You could feel that love flood your body in a knee-buckling tidal wave of agony.

“I can practically hear your yearning from here.” Claire couldn’t help but smile at you, her voice knocking you out of your painful imaginary state. All you could do was shrug. It was a sad shrug, no matter how hard you tried to hide it. She could’ve read it like a book anyways, Claire was always good at picking up on body language. A drained sigh left your lips.

“We’d kill for that kind of life.” You mumbled into your mug as you raised it to your lips, chasing down the left over cold water. Claire’s once cheerful expression faltered as she set her own cup down to look out the window with you. Your nails dug into the ceramic of your cup as you spoke. “He’s just so scared of us getting hurt.”

She put a hand on your shoulder with a solemn look. You both knew just how far Leon was willing to go for you. Her eyebrows knitted in worry and sympathy at you. “He’d protect you with his whole heart. He already does. He’d die for you, if you asked him to.”

You blinked back waterworks as you locked eyes with Leon in the backyard. He’d stopped just for a second, just to catch his breath before going back to carefully crash tackling with the kids.

You kept that eye contact as you responded to Claire, voice numbingly flat as you forced a smile at him. “I know. And it worries me that I’d never have to ask.” When he grinned back, so pure and genuine, full of a liveliness you hadn’t seen in an eternity,  you couldn’t help the single tear that trickled down your cheek.

“He’d do it anyway.”

[cafedanslanuit]

♡ �� —   pairing: kazutora x reader

♡   —   summary: after a long day at work, you want nothing but to spend a calm night with your boyfriend. however, you have no idea this is the night were all his demons finally get the best of him.

♡   —   tags/warnings: female reader, angst, breakups, hurt feelings everywhere, mention on mental illnesses and nightmares, based on ben platt’s song ‘carefully’, mention of tora’s job in one of the future timelines.

♡   —   a/n: i enjoyed writing kazutora so. damn. much. also, i’m quite proud of this one and the small details i added~ thank you @ofoceansandtombstones​​ for being my lovely beta <3

♡   —  masterlist

And all this time you've had a gentle way of holding me

So could you please release me that way too?

— “carefully” by Ben Platt

“It’s open, come in!”

The first thing Kazutora sees when he opens the door of your apartment is you, kneeling on the kitchen floor and picking up pieces of a broken baking dish. Red sauce has splattered everywhere and his mind betrays him for a second, imagining an accident far worse than what has truly happened. He blinks twice and starts to notice the small details that finally slow down the fast beating of his heart. There are pieces of chicken breasts next to the open oven door and what he thinks are sliced carrots next to your right knee.

You hiss when you pick up a piece of the shattered glass, the sharp end pinching your finger. Kazutora comes back to his senses, widening his eyes as he realizes he’s just been standing there.

“Hey, let me. You’ll cut yourself,” he warns, walking up to you. Grabbing both your hands, he eases you into your feet and then guides you to the living room. “I’ll take care of it,” he promises as he goes back to the kitchen and starts cleaning up the mess.

You let yourself fall on the sofa with a loud thud and let out an exasperated sigh.

“I just had the most awful day,” you whine, taking off your apron and leaving it on the arm of the sofa.  “Work was hell, I got scolded by something that I didn’t do— like always, only this time my boss was all like: ‘You gotta be more careful, we wouldn’t want to lose such a valuable employee’. Like he was going to fire me over someone else’s mistake?!”

Your voice is getting louder by the minute and you take advantage of the fact Kazutora is in another room to keep the volume. You have been waiting the entire day to see him and vent about what a trainwreck you day had been. Just as always, he listens intently, the only noise coming from the kitchen being a soft scraping sound as he picks up everything and throws it to the trash. 

“Then, I went to the store and of course they had run out of basil. Tell me, how does a store that big run out of basil?” you ask. There’s no answer from the kitchen so you continue. “I mean, yeah, I could have gone to another store but my feet were killing me. I’m just not meant to work in heels the entire day,” you sigh tiredly, swinging your feet.

You reposition yourself, now sitting cross-legged on the sofa. Putting your right hand on your left shoulder, you stretch your neck, feeling your sore muscles releasing a bit of tension with a small ‘pop’.

“I ended up preparing something entirely different than I had planned for dinner. I tried to let it go but just as I was going to put it in the oven, it slipped my hands and—”

“I think we should break up.”

Words die in your lips the moment you listen to your boyfriend speak. The silence becomes loud and abrasive as you struggle to understand what was happening. Why was Kazutora breaking up with you with such a small voice? What had triggered him to come to that conclusion? Why had he decided to bring it up now? You turn your head to the kitchen door and watch him slowly make his way towards you, doubtful steps as he takes a seat on the other side of the sofa, avoiding your eyes at all costs.

“What?” you ask, your voice hoarse. His lips form a tight line and you see him swallowing nervously.

“I’m not doing okay— haven’t been for a while. I— it’s been two years since I left prison and I still haven’t— I don’t— I don’t know what I’m doing,” he explains, looking down at his hands.

You nod slowly, trying to comprehend where he’s coming from. Turning your body towards him, you take a deep breath before speaking.

“It’s okay not to know,” you assure him in a soft voice. “Just… take it slow. One day at a time and then I’m sure you’ll—”

“I haven’t been sleeping well,” Kazutora confesses and you notice his voice wavering a little. “I— I keep having nightmares about— about that day and— and also about the motorcycle shop. Those two mix up and…” he takes one of his hands to the side of his head, his fingers grazing his temple. “And I’m hitting Baji in the head. And there’s so much blood— so, so much blood and—”

Leaning forward, you take his hands. They’re shaking and extremely cold and you rub your thumb over his knuckles, trying your best to soothe him.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re safe now, Tora, you’re—”

Kazutora pulls his hands away hastily, leaving a tingling sensation on your palms.

“I can’t!” he says as he shakes his head. You spend a moment looking at your empty hands, never before having felt your boyfriend’s rejection. “I feel like I’m drowning and— You know what? I think relationships just aren’t for me,” he shrugs, his hands moving in exaggerated gestures. “That’s why I never cared for dating, never got myself involved in that kind of shit, not until—”

He finally looks at you and, fuck, you wish he didn’t. You’re not sure if you have the strength to deal with such hurtful discourse. You lick your lips and take yet another deep breath, deciding to ignore his hurtful remark.

“I’m… so sorry you’re feeling this way,” you say, slowing down your words, trying your best not to show how hurt you were. This isn’t him, you tell yourself. So no need for that tightness in your throat. “But you have to understand it’s not because of me. It’s because of everything that you’ve gone through and how hard it’s to deal with them. I don’t blame you, it is hard. But this… us,” you gesture to the both of you. “This is a good thing. Despite all the pain and hurt we’ve both been through, we—”

“Please, stop,” he says, raising his hand and pressing his eyelids together. “I can’t be with you anymore. That’s it, that’s all—”

“So you don’t love me anymore?” you counter. You scoff in disbelief, shaking your head. Kazutora’s eyes shoot open and you notice his pupils shaking in fear, like a deer caught in headlights.

“I love you,” he breathes out, and for a moment you see the boy you fell in love with in his amber eyes that are quickly filling with tears. “I do love you but it’s killing me. I feel like I’m dying,” he chokes out. He looks away from you once more and starts tugging at his fingers. “I’m rotting inside and I don’t know what to do to make it better. I just want it to stop. I want it to stop and— I don’t want you around when I’m like this. I want to figure out what the hell is happening and—”

“But if you love me and I love you then why—”

“I’m not happy with you!”

Kazutora widens his eyes, scared by his loud outburst. He parts his lips, silently muttering nonsense as he tries to come up with words that can make it better. You lower your head and he wants to punch himself over it. He doesn’t want to make you cry, not after everything you’ve done for him. Is he really going to be the person that hurt the one that made a home for him in her embrace? Is he going to hurt the only person that was brave enough to pick up the pieces of his shattered soul?

“I’m…” he babbles, in a soft voice. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

You snort. “No, you really did mean it, Tora.”

He can sense the hurt and sadness in your voice, even if now you’re the one that won’t look at him. He watches helplessly as you stand up and walk towards the living room window in complete silence. The apron you took off is still on the couch and the vast memories of all the times he embraced you while you were wearing it quickly fill his mind.

He wishes there was a way he could keep you. But no matter how much he wants to, he knows there really is no other way. He’s thought about this countless times. He has gone to work without getting proper sleep, stared at his blank tv screen for hours on end, trying to come up with a plan where he could keep you. Was staying with the person he loved the most too much to ask?

No matter in how many shades of light or with how much care he handled the memory of you, the only way he could spare you the greatest amount of pain was to leave you— even if he knew he’d end up shattering your heart as well.

Kazutora notices the way your fingers tightly close around the edge of the window, your knuckles turning white. He had come to terms that he’d lose you today, yet he never expected for it to be this way. It doesn’t matter, he tells himself. If hating him would mend your wounds faster, then he’d take it. Anything that would make the heartache he was causing you a little bit lighter. He knew you were the last person on Earth that deserved to go to bed carrying that much pain in her soul.

Looking out the window, you focus on a small girl walking her dog on the street. It’s a brown labrador and by the size of it, it’s barely a puppy. Rather than walk, it jumps on its four legs, his little head looking back at the girl every chance he has as he happily wags his tail. The pet shop Kazutora and Chifuyu work at immediately comes to mind. Would it be like this from now on? Small things eliciting memories of your days together without your consent and leaving a sour taste in your mouth?

You will need to find a new commute, you think, as you had been stopping by the pet shop on your way home for the past year. Is there another bus that you could take? As you try to remember the lines and their respective routes, you’re engulfed by the memory of the first time Kazutora dozed off with his head resting on your shoulder as you rode the bus together. You close your eyes and you can clearly see his peaceful expression and slightly parted lips as he slept, his fingers tightly intertwined with yours. His breathing is slow and his hands are cold and you wish you could go back, even for a minute and place a kiss on top of his head, since you wouldn’t be able to do so from now on.

Where exactly had you failed? You had just been complaining about your day when he dropped the bomb. Did you complain too much? Did you talk too much? Or was it you the one that was too much? You tried your best and supported him as much as you could but as it turns out, it hadn’t been enough. Good intentions were nothing but useless as you were now saying goodbye to the man you had loved the most.

You didn’t realize you were crying until you felt Kazutora’s cold knuckles against your cheek, wiping your tears. You gasp, startled by his touch and take a couple steps back until your back hits the wall. It takes a few seconds for him to bring his hand now, unsure on what to do next.

He looks so scared and small— it fills your heart with frustration. Your whole body is screaming to take a step forward and comfort him, cradle him in your arms like so many times before, assure him he’s safe with you and that he doesn’t have to worry anymore. That, if you can still go home to each other at the end of a bad day, you can take anything life throws at you.

But that’s the thing. You’re not each other’s home anymore. You don’t get to bury your face in his neck and hum happily when his perfume reaches your nose. You don’t get to have him take a nap on your lap as you watch a series or feel his lips ghost against yours seconds before colliding in a kiss.

You hate it. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, crossing his arms in front of his chest and looking down at his feet. “Please, don’t cry.”

“You know what, Kazutora?” you say, wiping your tears with the back of your hand. You taste venom in your words, yet that doesn’t stop you. “If you’re not happy with me, then what are you doing here?”

He flinches at your words. Biting his inner cheek, he nods, still incapable of holding your gaze.

“Yeah, okay,” he mutters. “I’ll go. I really am sorry.”

Kazutora turns on his heel, walking towards the door. Maybe it’s the way you know he’s not coming back this time that makes your desperation afloat. You don’t want him to go and you also know you can’t make him stay. And even if somehow you could find a way to keep him by your side, it would be worthless.

He’s just not happy with you.

“Are you happy somewhere else, though?” you ask, your words leaving your mouth before your head has time to process them. He stumbles on his feet and stops. “Because if you just can’t manage to be happy, then it’s not on me.”

Kazutora doesn’t have to turn for you to know he’s second guessing himself. The next seconds feel like years as he just stands there, mid-way to the front door, thoughts so messy and loud you can almost hear them.

“That doesn’t matter,” he finally says with his back to you. He closes his fists and you see his shoulders rising and falling as he takes a deep breath. “This way you don’t have to deal with... with the mess I am and—”

“Oh, please, I knew what I was getting into when I started dating an ex-convict.”

The weight of your words fall onto you the moment they leave your mouth. You squeeze your eyes shut, muttering a curse. It takes no time for you to walk towards Kazutora, standing between him and the door.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Tora, I didn’t— you know I didn’t mean it that way. Fuck, I’m so sorry,” you whimper, tears flowing free down your cheeks. Your wave your shaky hands, desperate to make your point across. “I just wanted to say I knew things would be difficult but I loved you— I love you and I—”

Kazutora shakes his head, a gentle yet sad smile on his face as he takes your hands in his. He holds them in front of his chest, squeezing them gently as they don’t stop trembling.

“Stop, it’s okay,” he assures you. “That’s what I am.”

“It’s not,” you protest. “I mean— yeah, but you’re more than that. You’re so much more than that. You’re caring, you’re noble— you’re so tender with the animals at your shop. You’re so sweet with me, always checking if I’ve eaten and offering to help me out if I have chores I need to do. You always come pick me up if I’m working late. You— you’re so fucking special to me.”

Kazutora’s lips form a tight line. “I wish I could see that,” he whispers.

“Then just— let me try. Let me try until you can look at yourself the way I do,” you almost beg. You let go of the hold he has on your hands to gently cradle his face. “I’ll do anything, but... don’t patronize me. I’m not a little girl. Whatever life throws at me, I’ve always been able to handle it. No— we’ll handle it. Together. Like it’s always been, you and me, I just— please, I don’t want you to go,” you cry. “We were going to be happy together, you were going to live with me and I’d give you half my drawers and half my closet and half… half everything. Please, don’t go. Don’t go, Tora.”

The sadness in his amber eyes only confirms what you’ve been fearing this whole time. You sob, your thumbs softly stroking his cheeks as you feel the world crumbling around you. This time, he doesn’t stop you, letting you cry as you hold his face, coming to terms with the fact he’s really leaving after all.

Your hands move to his hair, gently threading your fingers across his long, dark locks. Tracing the outline of his face, you push one of the dyed streaks away, only for it to fall back right where it was before. You can’t help the small smile that forms on your lips. He’s so pretty, you think, as the pads of your fingers gently caress his face. Your thumb grazes the space between his bottom lip and his chin and you dream of a world when he’s not saying goodbye, but rather falling asleep under your touch on your shared bed. You never knew loving someone as much as you loved him was possible-- yet the way your heart was crumbling in pieces was evidence of how much your soul was aching by being separated from the person it belonged to.

Sniffling, you rub your cheek against your shoulder to wipe your tears. You swallow before raising another question.

“Is this a… temporary thing? Or for good?” Your voice comes out in a whisper as you place down your hands on his shoulders.

“I don’t know,” he answers. He wants nothing more than to put his arms around your body like so many times before, but he’s aware that it will only make things more difficult. “But I don’t want to keep you waiting in vain. You should move on.”

Kazutora realizes how much he hates the idea as it leaves his lips. The idea of you starting over with someone else rots in his tongue. He doesn’t want you to hold anyone’s face the way you were just holding his. He wants to keep you all to himself, to go to endless visits to the grocery shop, to watch you fall asleep during movie night and then pretend you didn’t, to massage your hands as you tell him about his day.

But you don’t deserve the guck that’s forming inside his mind. He knows it’s only a matter of time before it comes out pouring and reaches you. And he’ll be damned if he lets himself ruin the one good thing he’s had in his life for many years. He promised to himself he wouldn’t let his ill state of mind touch his loved ones. Never again.

He watches you nod and feels his heart shattering, even if everything is going just the way he intended. You rub his shoulders and look into his eyes, a sad smile on the pretty lips he would never get to kiss again.

“Okay,” you sigh. “We’ll end this but… when you leave, never doubt how loved you were. No— how loved you are. I don’t know what is coming for either of us but… I do know a part of my heart will always belong to you, no matter who I hold hands with. I will always love you, Tora.”

Your words are enough to finally break him. Kazutora clutches your body tightly against him as he loudly sobs against your shoulder. You hold him, tears flowing free once again as you try and soothe the man you love, leaving small kisses on the side of his head and whispering soft reassurances that it’s okay. It’s not, you tell yourself. It’s never going to be okay. But it has to be.

Carefully, you move him back to the sofa, helping him sit down while he refuses to let go of his hold on your body. You lean on the back pillows, both your arms cradling him while he whimpers like a small child. Kazutora clutches the fabric of your sweater with desperation, wishing there was a way he could stay with you.

Why does he have to give up the person that had put a smile back on his face? He can’t quite remember a time when his stomach had hurt out of laughter before he ever met you. Or when he’d experienced such peace as the night he stayed at your apartment and got to see your sleeping face first thing in the morning. He’s never loved anyone as much as he loves you and, for all he knows, he may never love like this again. 

But he could never risk tainting you. He would never be able to forgive himself.

Kazutora softly pulls away from your embrace. His eyes are blotchy and red and you’re sure yours look the same or even worse. His nose is red, like it always does when he cries. It’s endearing, you think. Everything about him, from his hair, to his eyes, his hands— you’ve come to love every part of Kazutora. And that’s exactly why it’s so hard to let him go.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he says in a whisper, resting the side of his head on the back pillows of the sofa.

“Like what?” you ask, gently pushing his hair away from his face and behind his ear.

“Like I matter to you. Like I’m making a huge mistake.”

You take a deep breath. Imitating him, you rest your head on the back pillows as well, so you’re both facing each other.

“I don’t— I don’t fully understand what you’re going through,” you admit, your eyes locked on his. “But if you need to… get away, then you should. You’ve been nothing but loving to me. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy, whether it’s with me or not. You deserve to fully experience all the beautiful things life has to offer.”

Silent tears fall from both your cheeks and his.

“I should be thankful I got to love you for this whole year. Because even if it ends this way… God, I loved you so much,” you sniffle, letting out a small laugh. “And I felt so loved. Isn’t that magical in itself? That we got to love each other at the same time?” you wonder with a sad smile.

Kazutora parts his lips, yet the doorbell interrupts him before he can even speak. You look at the front door, your eyebrows furrowing for a moment before you realize who’s probably there.

“Food’s here,” you say, wiping the tears from your face.

“Food?” Kazutora asks, confused.

“Yeah,” you sigh. “Didn’t I tell you? The baking dish broke so I called that restaurant, the one with the burgers we like.”

“Sorry. I wasn’t really listening back then,” he admits with a pang of guilt. He sits up on the couch and turns his head at you. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

You sit up as well. “I ordered for the two of us. C’mon, stay for dinner. Let’s… remember us this way, okay? Without so many tears and sadness,” you offer, tilting your head towards him. “I even ordered your favourite one.”

Kazutora rubs his face with his sleeve, erasing the trail of the tears he just shed. Looking at you, he nods, drawing a small smile on his lips.

“Okay. I’ll get it.”

He only walks a few steps towards the door before he feels you tugging at the back of his shirt. Turning around, he notices you’re standing right behind him. Your eyes look up to him, biting your bottom lip and not even a ghost of the smile you previously offered him.

“Before that, uh— I want you to know I… I mean it,” you firmly say, taking in all his facial features, loving how they soften every time he looks at you. “I’ll always love you. No matter how many years go by or if I ever stop being in love with you— I’ll still love you.”

“I’ll always love you too,” he replies, taking your hand and squeezing it softly. “I don’t think I could stop even if I wanted to.”

You finally let out a soft chuckle and squeeze his hand back. The doorbell rings again and you walk around Kazutora to get to it. This time, he’s the one that stops you, not letting go of the hold of your hand. Looking back at him, you notice the soft pout in his lips and how they softly tremble, looming more tears.

“It’s okay,” you assure him, and you know you’re saying it to yourself as well. “Who knows, we might get together again someday. Have our own Casablanca moment. We’ll always have the pet shop,” you joke, trying to fight back to tears that threaten to fill your eyes as well.

It’s Kazutora’s turn to chuckle, only this time he does it along with you. You let go of his hand only to hold his face tenderly, a soft smile as you look at the man you love. Standing on your tiptoes, you press your lips against the beauty mark under his right eye. You feel his hands setting on the small of your back and watch his smile widen when you fall back on your heels.

Locking your fingers with him once more, you open the door.

[cinnamonest]

Kaeya is really touchy with his darling, right? So then,, what are the other Yan’s love languages?

NICE I love the love languages stuff! Sorry this was from April but I'm finally getting to it! Usually the two are similar, but sometimes people have different ways of expressing love versus how they want to receive it, so I'll elaborate on that as well. Enjoy my rareish semi-fluffy stuff, boys and which of the 5 love languages they are :3 Kazuha - quality time

Honestly, he's a simple boy. All he really needs to be happy and feel mutual love is sit with you close to him, arms wrapped around you, preferably with you returning the gesture. He has a lot of feelings and fears for the future, lots of emotions all bottled up, so someone to listen to him means a lot. Taking the time to listen to all he has to say makes him sheepish and embarrassed even, but as long as you assure him it's ok, he'll keep coming back for more of your listening ears.

Also, he likes to go on walks. These can be talking or not, sometimes he just likes walking in silence. Either way, accompanying him on said walks is a way to endear yourself to him and show him you love him. Sometimes it's just silently walking down beaches or pathways or in circles around the ship deck, sometimes it's him venting, sometimes it's him gushing about this or that... either way, basically providing him with an outlet for his emotions and spending time with him is what matters.

Zhongli -  gifts, quality time

Sugar daddy

But in all seriousness he's big on spoiling a darling. I mean let's be real it's probably someone else's money OR this is in an era where he could just make some, so he will literally get you anything you could ask for, hell, anything he sees you looking at, tons of things you have no use for but he just likes the way your eyes light up all the same. It makes you happy, and that's what love is about, right? Wanting to make people you love happy.

However, for himself, it's a quality time thing, similar to Kazuha's where it's a lot of listening. He has a lot to say sometimes and can get to rambling about details of this or that thing he somehow manages to be an expert on, and while he usually catches himself early on, sometimes he can REALLY go on a while. He knows you don't have any clue what he's talking about, and probably don't really care, but if you sudden bring up a detail that shows you were listening -- it makes him feel oddly warm inside, like you actually think what he talks about is important and care about it. It makes him chuckle a bit, pat your head. He tells you if you're bored you don't have to listen.... so if you insist on doing so anyway, well, that just makes him feel even better inside, oddly validated in a way.

Kaeya  -  words of affirmation, touch

Is sex a love language?

But in all seriousness, yes as per the opening of the ask, he's very touchy. By 'touch' in this case, that... does translate to sex about 90% of the time. Can you blame him?? It's because he loves you! If he didn't love you he wouldn't wanna get his dick in you so bad! It's love that makes him so handsy and touchy, always rubbing you and running the edges of his fingers under your shirts and skirts and shorts even in public, hands wrapping around your waist and hips, sneaking fondles here and there... and it's out of love that you get railed all the time. His peak happiness is just being balls deep inside you, bodies pressed up against each other, moving slow and gentle and gradually building up... and he wants you to feel like that's love, too. To be honest he gets genuinely sad if you don't see it that way, or if you don't understand it as an expression of love. It seems so natural and innate that being pressed up close together should invoke feelings of love, right?

As for how he understands love as a recipient, well, pretty much the same thing, any sign of eagerness or willingness or especially initiative to fuck sets his brain off. But also, he's weak to any attempts to boost his ego. Say anything positive about him and he'll get excited and let it go to his head, particularly if your words of choice make him feel strong or powerful or capable.

Also speaking of touch, surprisingly big on handholding, especially in public. Sure part of it is a "signaling to others to back off" sort of thing, but he just likes the warmth of your hand as well.

Diluc - touch

It might be a bit surprising, given the stoic nature but... just give this man a hug. Please.

Being inside you is very very nice of course, but he's also notably a cuddly person when you get past the rough exterior. He likes to just sit you in his lap and hold you, spoon you in bed at night, etc.

And as for giving, he doesn't really have knowledge of how to go about other things. He's not good with words at all, he doesn't really know what gifts to get, and despite his affection he's not really submissive enough of a person to go about acts of service, and he's very busy, so while he might get quality time, it's not too often. In the end he doesn't really know how to do anything else, so if he really wants to express affection, the only way he can really think of is just wrapping his arms around you and squeezing. Sometimes a little too hard, like sir I'm asphyxiating please

Also it takes him a while to work up to it. At first he's just too nervous and can barely touch you without retracting his hand back out of nervousness, but he gets used to it.

Razor - quality time, touch

The others are kind of foreign concepts, really. But touch and time is how his kind bond! It's what he's used to. Nuzzling his face into your shoulders and neck and wrapping arms around you and holding you tight. He will often just cling to you physically in some way, holding your wrist in his hand or reaching out to embrace you at random. Of course, sex is a part of it, gotta have that too, it means love to him because he gets the urge whenever he thinks about loving you! And not gonna lie, he tries to remember you don't really like it but, he'll lick you every now and then too. It just comes naturally because he gets excited 'cause he loves you so much!! Lick lick.

Quality time comes in many forms. Every second is quality time in its own way, but especially naps in the sun and walks through the woods. Fun fact: wolf mates go on little "walks" together occasionally, breaking off from the rest of the pack to get alone time. It's fun! You can run through the woods with him! The naps combine the two expressions of touch and time, getting to spend lots of quiet, valuable time, all while snuggled up close. It's nice.

He doesn't really understand if you try to communicate love otherwise, but he'll kind of grasp that it's nice. But really, in the end he wants touch and time too. It's the only form he really understands. The rest just leave him a bit "??" But a nuzzle and a nap in the sun are things he understands perfectly.

Xingqiu - gifts, words of affirmation

The first is more how he shows, the second how he receives. It's a rather selfish form of love, really, because it benefits him as well and it's not exactly difficult. He doesn't have to put a lot of work into gifting, since he can pretty much get anything he asks for out of his father, and even if he says no to something, well, father won't notice a few hundred thousand mora gone from the stash of money kept in his bedroom, right? And he loves giving you gifts because of your reaction! You smile and say thank you and it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside... and he likes to think that maybe you feel indebted to him, maybe you're awed and impressed by how he manages to find you such expensive and rare things, maybe it makes you look up to him and see him as superior a bit. Hopefully.

However, because he's got so much wealth already, so gifts don't really do much for him. He responds well to praise, though, especially if you compliment him on the things he cares about, like his sword skills, his writing, his vigilantism. Make him feel like the protagonist he is inside his head, and he'll be beaming with pride and happiness, it makes him feel important, which translates to feeling loved.

Chongyun - quality time, acts of service

In particular, he likes to have you around when he's training. You don't have to train yourself, just be by his side. It makes him more motivated, so he's noticed. Not to mention, he likes showing off if possible to impress you.

Also, he likes having someone to vent to. He's a sweet boy, but he has his stressors and frustrations. He's used to strict self-discipline and normally refrains from talking about his feelings too much, but if you make him feel like your presence is a safe place for him to come to, he will end up almost becoming dependent on getting to emotionally unload on you every day, recalling all the details of every bad thing that happened and waiting for your soft comfort.

Here, "acts of service" is more like... consideration. Little moments where he's reminded you remember his needs and care about them. You make food and note that you made it especially free of anything hot, just for him! Or you make his little popsicles when he forgets, you help him deal with the damage and destruction of his most recent episode. Little acts like that make him feel appreciated, loved and cared for.

Childe - acts of service

Similar to Kaeya and touch, acts of service is... yeah it's basically sex. It falls more into the category of acts of service because it's a little different in nature from Kaeya's -- he loves normal sex of course, and cuddles are nice too, but in his mind really loving him is about taking initiative and doing things to him... in other words, to translate that in simple terms... blow him. Please. It would make him the happiest man in the world. Or ride him. Just anything that feels like you taking some initiative and making him feel wanted. ...And making him feel worshipped is nice too, getting you down on your knees in front of him or any act of service and submission gives him a sort of high from the ego boost and masculine validation.

And he's similar with how he expresses it himself. Most likely candidate to eat you out against your will. One infuriating and potentially humiliating thing about him is he's one of the most insistent to ensure you cum every single time, if you don't cum from him fucking you he'll just force your legs open and eat you out or shove his fingers into you until you do. Because he loves you and orgasms equate to love in his mind.

Venti - acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts

It's more on the giving end for him -- specifically, he can be a very sappy individual when he's in love, to a point it's nauseating to the people around you, really. But he spends a lot of time writing you poems and songs. To him, song is one of the utmost powerful expressions of love. It sort of combines the service and words -- the writing itself is a labor of love, but the words are filled with praises. He genuinely spends a lot of time on it, though, and it's really important to him that you like the things he makes and plays for you, and will continuously modify his next pieces to what he perceives as your taste. He's a bit of a perfectionist on stuff like that.

Venti is actually rather shy when it comes to receiving love. He tends to be very no, you don't have to do that for me! And things like gifts can make him feel a bit guilty, so... you just have to give him stuff he likes so much he's too busy indulging to feel guilt. Namely alcohol. He gets a bit red in the face, but, deep down he likes words of affirmation and compliments too, even the lightest of sweet words he'll replay in his head over and over for days after you say them.

Bennett - acts of service

One of the quickest ways to endear yourself to him is the simple act of helping him. This can manifest in several ways, such as healing his wounds when he's all scraped up or just come back from an adventure, helping him patch up his clothes that get ripped so much, helping him find some thing he lost in the woods yet again, or following him on one of said adventures. People don't really have him in mind too often, he tends to get forgotten a lot and left to handle things all on his own, and as a result, someone who reaches out to help him has a significant impact on him, he finds himself unable to stop thinking about it and the warm feeling it gives him to know that someone cares.

As a result, he starts basically mimicking the same behaviors because it's all he really knows how to do. He wants to give you the same warm happiness that you give him, so he tries to help you out with the things you need, complete tasks he knows would be helpful to you. Unfortunately for him, this tends to backfire as something usually goes wrong and it turns into a mess that he fears will just make you hate him. Poor baby.

Albedo - quality time

He's one of those people that really loves to just spend time in the presence of the people he loves -- you don't have to be doing something together, or the same thing. Even if you're just reading a book or drawing or something on your own, he likes you to be nearby him. It's kinda cute how if you go wandering off or go into another room, he'll wait a minute, then silently kinda come peeking around the corner to check on you because?? Why did you leave? Did he do something to upset you? He's too proud to explicitly ask you to come back, but he might blatantly follow you to the room you're in, claiming it's just better lighting in here, or the other room was too cold, or some other excuse.

He still likes doing things with you, though, too. Another favorite is late night conversations, the kind you get into once you're already laying in bed in the dark, pressed against each other and mumbling little thoughts that occur to you before you drift off to sleep, questions about tomorrow, or a hey remind me to do this or that, that sort of thing. Little conversations you never really finish, your voices get softer and sleepier with each moment, you eventually close your eyes as you talk back and forth, until one of you eventually doesn't get a response, and then drifts off themselves.... and in the morning neither of you remember who was the last person to speak or what the conversation was even about in the end.

Xiao - touch

He just doesn't... get much else. Words are hard. He doesn't know whether this or that gift or gesture is considered appropriate to present to a human as  sign of love, and those kinds of things, words and gifts and stuff, embarrass him too much... and he doesn't every really know whether or not he's correct when interpreting your actions and words either. How does he know the gift isn't just because you wanted to be nice, or that the nice things you said were just meant mildly, and he's just indulging in wishful thinking when he thinks it means more? Ugh. It's too troublesome to have to deal with.

But touch... it's straightforward and easy and impossible to misunderstand. And it's also objectively the best, he thinks, even without the issues in understanding it's just what he feels the most natural urge towards. Why would anyone do any differently? Why do humans waste their time giving each other gifts and compliments and stuff when they could just do the thing that feels so much better than that other stuff? It confuses him. He doesn't want material goods, he just wants to cuddle you and put his dick in you. Yeah it... also translates to sex here, similar to Kaeya. Like, he likes it when you kiss his forehead and snuggle up close, but those things will inevitably result in wanting more. And he loves the rests you two take, half-asleep soundly wrapped up and bodies pressed close, spooning with his arms latched onto you. It's just that said rests/naps are almost always very much naked due to being after cumming in you a few times.

Scaramouche - acts of service, words of affirmation, touch

I mean, you're kinda forced into the acts of service thing, but the idea is that you start to perform said acts willingly, or without needing to be commanded. Eventually you get to where you do things on your own initiative, and he likes to think maybe you just want to (and not because you've been beaten into doing it so many times it's become instinctive, definitely not that). A lot of it is just tasks, but similar to Childe's acts of service, it's definitely a sex thing too, wants you to show initiative and do things on your own -- not that you won't likely get told not to do shit like that without permission, but he still does like it, internally.

Words of praise are similar. Say anything nice about him and he'll probably accuse you of lying or trying to manipulate him/get something, but deep down he kinda thrives on anything positive you have to say or think about him. Not that you'd ever know.

As for how he actually shows love, well... does... he...? Yes actually, primarily it's a touch thing. Not always pleasant touches, but touches. It's similar to how other yans equate different things with love, like Childe sees orgasms as a form of love, to him possession is the utmost expression of "love" in the sense that he perceives it. Possession, to own a thing completely and entirely, to have full power over something... that sort of connection is incredibly intimate, when you think about it. It's a connection on a deep level, it's loving. So anything that expresses possession -- pleasant or unpleasant for you -- is thus an expression of love.

[hungerpunch]

ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔσ”

wedding over!!!! officially transitioned from legal domestic partners to spouses on saturday. we got a sneak peek gallery from our photography already so thought i'd share some relatively faceless photos real quick since i'm obsessed with them.

the dress i hunted for literal years on stillwhite.com and other wedding resale sites for since they don't make it anymore. a huge reason was the shoulder ribbons... made me feel like sailor moon 😂

i had two pearls from my mother-in-law's dress sewn into the lining, wore my own mom's pearl necklaces & earrings from her wedding day, and my shoes were my "something blue." my rings were made from reset gems from a heritage ring on k's side of the family and the gold melted down and reshaped from a golden locket my parents gave me when i turned 16. so i have both families represented in my rings. k's ring is from automic gold cause i gotta support the queers.

this ole low & slow made a beeline straight for me when his human was walking by us taking photos. could have scooped him up and ran away with him tbh. absolute darling.

a banner we designed together and had embroidered. we intend to keep it displayed wherever we live. my super gay little brother got ordained as a minister so he could officiate us. i forgot the rings and had to pause the whole ceremony so that my maid of honor could sprint (in heels!) to go grab them. very on-brand if you know me. i'm really proud of the ceremony i wrote with my brother for us because i worked hard to eschew tradition and center much more radical language about love and partnership and to my surprise, even the oldest and crabbiest of religious family members liked it. k cried during our first look, when i walked down the aisle, when we said our vows, and during the toasts. my little watery water sign lol

other details i love:

the inside of k's suit was embroidered with a few lines of a song as an ode to their true trans identity

our guestbook was a custom skateboard that ppl signed the deck of

i made our centerpieces from antiques and fake flowers

our transit was a battered & graffiti-ed school bus rented from our favorite music venue

my mom walked me down the aisle

my sister and i made pinwheel decorations for the tables out of CD booklets from my dad's huge music collection as tribute to him

we dedicated "you've got the love" by florence + the machine to my dad (his fav of their songs) and everybody went wild dancing to it

wherever i could find and afford it we used queer or queer-owned vendors.

said vendors, who have done hundreds if not thousands of weddings, said that our food was the best wedding food they'd ever had, our dance floor had the best music, and our ceremony was perfect. it meant a lot to me to look around and know for sure that all of our guests were having so much fun with us.

anyway k & i have been together for 13 years and engaged for three of those. it was as close to perfect as it could have gotten and i'm so relieved. i'm also so excited to spend my time and energy and waking thoughts on something else 😂

[ripdragonbeans]

On Monday (Take 2) ~INTRO~

Modern!Aemond x femReader

Reader and Helaena are BFFs 

Summary: You and Heleana head over to her place to work on a philosophy project only for you to be thrown into a little matchmaking via Helaena.

Second shot at On Monday, also in a completely new direction compared to the first one. I really want to finish out the rest of the song, mainly because it’s a cute song and the guy in it is absolutely Aemond coded lol. 

No Warnings for this one, maybe except my questionable writing style/format

Mainly set up stuff so there’s only a bit of Aemond at the end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hel, wait up!" You laughed as you ran after your friend.

"No, you can catch up!" Called back Helaena.

Helaena had found a moat beautiful sunset moth and was absolutely dead set on catching it, if even for just a little bit. She finally slowed down to creep closer to the moth and crouched down to admire it. You caught up to her but kept your distance knowing that your harsh breathing would probably scare the creature away. Helaena gently guided the moth to her hand and brought the small one up to you.

"Look at her! Isn't she just beautiful?" Helaena wondered out loud. "All her colors, her little fuzz, everything."

You leaned down towards the creature and smiled. "Yes, Hel. She's absolutely gorgeous."

Helaena smiled at you before gently releasing the beautiful sunset moth. She gazed up at it, almost in a daze, when she remembered that you were with her as well.

"Shoot, Y/N it's getting late and we gotta finish that project!" Helaena cocked her head and gently tapped her it trying to figure something out. 

The sky was slowly getting becoming a purple orange as the sun began to set. 

"Why don't you just spend the night at my apartment? That way we can still hang out and actually get some work done." 

You laughed at her little joke. "Of course! Let's get going." 

The two of you linked arms as you made your way off campus and to her apartment. Despite being friends since freshman year, you've never actually been to her apartment before. Helaena told you she just preferred to be on campus basking in the sunlight and hanging in the quad with her friends. As an entomology major it did help to be on campus more often for the labs she frequently had to do.

As you two walked, you talked about everything and nothing at all. Pretty soon you looked up and saw the apartment, a fairly big apartment. Your mouth fell open in amazement. Everything was so sleek and modern, and that was just the exterior.

You felt a slight pull on your arm. "Come on, girl! I know it's a bit intimidating, and if it makes you feel better I miss living in my childhood home. Way more plants and much more inviting, if you ask me, but I promise you the inside is really chill." Helaena shook her head slightly and chucked. 

"Well, as chill as it can be living with my two brothers. They can get a little…heated at times but I think you’d get along with Aemond,” giving you a knowing glance.

"Oh, I didn't know you had brothers! I mean, I knew you had brothers but I didn't know you lived with them," you squeezed out. 

You deliberately ignored her suggestion of her brother to you.

It wasn't a lie. You knew Helaena had brothers but you had no idea what they looked like and absolutely didn't know that they shared her apartment as well. They were simply little thoughts that have never been important enough to question and bring to life until now. Well, at least one of them was. All you ever really heard about in a positive way was Aemond. He piqued your interest, even if you only knew him as Helaena’s brother.

Helaena tugged your arm a little harder, giving you no choice but to follow her. As you neared the door you couldn’t help but take in every little detail. The delicate carvings on the walls created a beautiful texture that shone brightly against the dark grey paneling. Before Helaena could unlock the door it opened up to reveal the same silver blond hair as Helaena’s.

The guy looked you up and down with no shame and no attempt to hide his action. A mischievous smile tugged at his lips.

“Well, hello there,” he drawled.

“Hey, Aegon! This is my friend Y/N and she’s gonna be spending the night with us. We have a project to work on so don’t mind us,” Helaena explained.

“Spending the night, huh?” Aegon’s smile has definitely made his way to his face now. “I’ll be around, don’t hesitate to call me if you want some more…company.”

Aegon gave you a little wink before moving out of the doorway to let you two in. He gave you sneaky vibes, like someone you know would get the both of you in trouble if you decided to become friends with him. Aegon looked like he was on a prowl and his wink and smile solidified that assumption.

As you walked through the threshold, your breath got caught in your throat yet again. The exterior of the apartment was stunning and the interior was no less beautiful. Unlike outside, everything inside the apartment seemed to hold a story, some old and some new. Pictures decorated the wall along with what looked like religious icons and stars.

You could hear some noise coming from a room nearby and you were a little relieved when Helaena led you that way. You met the first brother and were now nervous about the second. Helaena has been suggestive about you and her brother getting to know each other better, maybe something even more than that. Your hands felt a little clammy as you entered the living room. The Planet Suite played softly in the back. 

Helaena called out to her second brother. “Aemond? I know you’re here. I want you to meet my friend, Y/N!”

Soon enough, a tall, lanky body stepped out of the hallway, looking a little annoyed but softened at the sight of his sister. 

“Yeah, Hel?” Aemond asked as he leaned against the wall.

“Just wanted to introduce you to Y/N! She’ll be staying the night and I just wanted to let you know,” she smiled at her brother.

Aemond looked at you and you felt your heart quicken. He was beautiful. He had a violet eye and what looked like a shining blue gem in place of the other with an aggressive scar passing through it. His silver hair was pulled up in a half bun while the rest of his hair cascaded to his shoulders. Aemond’s good eye scanned your body, similar to the way Aegon had done before but in a gentler way. He didn’t seem hungry. 

“Well, make yourself at home, Y/N. I’m going to be working on an essay here if you and Hel are going to hang out in her room.” 

“No! Stay here, Aemond!” Helaena stopped him before he could turn back to get his things from his room. 

You looked at your friend, pretending to be confused as to why she was asking him to stay. Helaena was trying to put a plan in motion and you were both dreading and looking forward to it.

“Helaena, if he was work to do we should leave him alone,” you half whispered to her. Part of you didn’t want him to stay, nervous about what could potentially happen if he did. But at the same time you were curious and wanted to venture into this situation that your friend has obviously planned out in her head.

“Y/N, we’re going to want his help.”

Aemond’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “My help? My sister and her friend needs my help for what?”

You quickly explained what was going on. “We’re just working on a little philosophy project as well, it’s no big deal. You can work and we’ll leave you alone.” Your heart beat a little faster when you locked eyes with him and made fast work to break it.

“Aemond is a philosophy major, and it would be really useful to have him around while we did this,” Healaena all but pleaded. “If it has to do with philosophy then I can help. And if you have Dr. Greyjoy you’re going to want my help,” Aemond simply stated his fact and immediately left to gather his materials.

While he was gone you gave Helaena a desperate look and groaned. She gave you an uncharacteristic sly smile. 

“Oh, give him a chance, Y/N! You need something else in your life besides academics and so does he. It’s a perfect match. Would you rather I try to push you towards Aegon?” She questioned.

“Please, no, not Aegon. He already looked at me like I was his next meal.” You chuckled and took a deep breath. “Okay, I put my trust in you, Hel. But know that if he breaks my heart, you’re going to have to be the one who takes care of me for a few days.”

Helaena squealed. “Yes! Oh, I’m so excited!”

“Excited about what, Hel?” Aemond had come back into the room looking amused at his sister.

“Nothing, nothing! Let’s just get this project started!”

Aemond gave a small chuckle as he plopped down on the couch and you hesitantly took the love se​​at across from him. Aemond layed out all his books and notes and smiled up at you as Helaena took the seat next to him giving you the biggest smile while flicking her eyes between you and her brother.

“So, let’s see how you guys are faring, shall we?”

[mikkomacko]

Sweet As Honey 18

Hello everyone! Here she is! Thank you all so much for being so patient with me and this chapter. I hope it lives up to the hype and the wait lol. I'd also like to say that I will still be writing and finishing this series as well as my other in progress ones. However, I'm currently feeling like I'm not that interested in Harry right now and I feel like it's mostly all the drama and everything going on with him right now so updates will be slow. Also I've changed my theme to a Marvel x One Direction theme because I've decided to take one of my Bucky Barnes plot and actually publish it. I'll still post Harry because of course I love him but he won't be the main focus of this blog anymore.

Thanks for waiting and reading. Hope you enjoy the chapter! X

Harry's good under pressure. At least looking from the outside in, he is. It's a skills he's picked up from boxing. Always pretend you know what's going on. No surprises, no shocks. If he's in a fight and his opponent is stronger or faster than he originally thought, he doesn't show it. Acting like it was expected, like he planned it rattles others and helps him maintain his grace.

He keeps that same approach when it comes to interviews.

Liam meets him outside the gym, waving with a bright smile that Harry just smiles at, shocked to find his trainer in the parking garage rather than the ring.

"What's going on mate?" Harry greets, trying to step around him to get to the stairs but Liam halts him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Gotta reporter here who wants to chat with you about recovering from your concussion and reaching the finals."

His tone is laced with hesitance, lips pursed in suppressed grimace and Harry doesn't blame him. Liam knows how much Harry hates interviews. They're his least favorite part of the job. He's here to box and get paid, to provide for his family, not to tell the world every detail of his life.

"Oh," Harry mumbles, shrugging and stepping up to the door. "Alright. Only for a few minutes though, wanna get home a little early today."

If Liam is surprised by Harry's ease he doesn't show it. "Got something going on?"

Harry follows Liam inside, nodding to Mark at the front desk. "Y/n has just been exhausted lately and Arlo can't spend a second alone without screaming bloody murder. Just want to be there to make sure she's resting and Arlo's not being a pest."

"He's your son, of course he's being in a pest."

The comment leaves too much pride in Harry's chest for him to even care that Liam just insisted he himself is a pest. Besides, Harry knows he's clingy and a little too attached but that's just how his relationship with y/n is, and they love it.

In his private locker room,Harry finds the reporter, a young girl who can't be too far out of undergrad with dark hair and a bright red lips. She's sat on the bench, a notepad on her thigh and her phone resting next to it.

"Hello Mr. Styles." She greets, shaking his hand when he approaches her. "I'm Rebecca Weese."

Harry takes a seat next to her, nodding. "Nice to meet you. I don't have a lot of time today but I can answer a few of your questions if we can make it quick." He smiles guiltily, hoping to not come off as rude.

She nods, immediately glancing down at her notepad and crossing some things out. Harry assumes they're questions she's decided aren't important enough. "Is it ok if I record this? Just sound of course."

Again, he nods, fiddling with the strings of his hoodie as he waits for her to begin. Tapping at her phone, she places it between them to catch both voices and then scans her notes again.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but you've only been boxing for a few years, right?"

Harry shrugs. "I trained a lot when I was teenager, worked under Ted until he decided to bring me up to the pros. Was about 20 I think when that happened." He tries to stay vague, knowing he can't tell the public that his "training" was an illegal boxing ring.

"Five-Six years is a short amount of time to be included in a tournament like this one. Most contenders are well into their careers before being qualified to participate. What do you think has been the main factor in your success?"

Routine question, and he's got a routine answer. "I was fortunate enough to figure out early on that boxing is what I wanted to do and I think that helped out a lot. I also got a very good team behind me. My trainer, manager, my wife, they're all the main factors in my success. I'm very grateful to have them."

Rebecca smiles a bit, jotting down a few words. "Does your wife work in the industry?"

It's her casual tone, as if she were a friend just wanting to hear him brag about his lover that has him answering so honestly.

"No she works in design but I met her early in my career and she's always supported me. Takes care of me after bad matches and whatnot, always comes to my fights even if it means being on her feet for hours. Which isn't exactly her favorite thing at the moment with the baby-"

Harry stops, eyes widening a bit at what he's just revealed. Part of him wishes desperately that Rebecca didn't hear him but he knows that's impossible.

"I didn't know you're a father," she says kindly, sensing his panic. "Do you want to talk about it more or should I scratch that part?"

He doesn't know what makes him say it. A year ago he'd have fled the room if he were questioned about his family. Harry likes to keep them separate, to keep his kids away from his boxing. It's possibly a small part of him that's conditioned to keep his work a secret from his family even if he doesn't have to. But Rebecca's offer to drop the whole topic is what breaks him.

"S'ok," he says "I've got a son that's about a year old and another on the way."

Her eyes light up, beaming at him and he grins shyly but somehow proudly at the same time. "That's awesome. Congrats. I know your son's young but does he have any part in your career? Influence maybe?"

"He doesn't watch any of my fights or anything. Too young to be around violence like that but he does affect my fighting in a way. I used to go into boxing with just the mentality that I'm doing something I love, but now I've got the added success. A win means more support for my family and I want them to always have what they need so I've got sort of an edge there."

"Like having something to fight for?" She confirms, and Harry nods immediately.

"Yeah. I'd do anything for them and I think that makes me a bit dangerous in the ring."

No matter what, he'll always be fighting for them. Everything he does is for y/n and his boys.

~

The house smalls of tomato sauce and pasta when Harry walks in, mouth instantly watering and stomach rumbling. He had a light breakfast this morning before going to the gym and now that's he burnt off all that energy he reckons he could eat a horse. Dropping his keys on the table in the entryway, toeing off his sneakers, and dropping his gym bag to the floor, Harry makes a beeline for the kitchen. He's so caught up in wanting to eat he doesn't notice the TV playing a Disney movie or the two figures sprawled out on the couch until one of them is calling for him.

"Daddy!" Arlo's head pops up over the cushions, dimples sunk into his cheeks and eyes bright. Harry immediately changes course, coming up behind the couch and meeting Arlo's outstretched arms.

"'Ello bug," Harry greets, smacking a kiss to his cheek. Arlo coos happily, curling up against Harry's shoulder. Y/n is watching them with a small smile, a hand resting easily over the stretched fabric of his tee-shirt she's wearing. "And hello darling." He leans over the back of the couch to press a crooked kiss to her lips.

"Hi baby," she sits up, smiling dreamily at him. "How was the gym?"

Harry shrugs, adjusting Arlo on his hip. "Was good. I had an interview today about finals and....stuff." Her eyebrow quirks up at his hesitancy to continue.

"What stuff?"

Gnawing on his bottom lip, Harry drops his gaze to Arlo. "You, Arlo, the baby." She doesn't respond immediately and he knows it’s because she’s trying to analyze him. He's fairly private about his family, especially his children and the only reason he'd informed the world of Arlo was to get people off his back about leaving y/n, so he knows she's probably confused by his ease with talking about the new baby.

"How'd it go?" She asks, pushing herself up from the couch with a hand on her belly. Without hesitation Harry reaches out to place his free hand over hers, moving her with him towards the kitchen. "Where are we going?"

"M'starving darling," he says and his stomach grumbles in agreement, making Arlo gurgling back and nudge his foot into Harry's tummy. "But interview went well. Announced the pregnancy."

"You did?" She questions, perching herself on the counter stool with wide eyes. "Seems a bit early compared to Arlo's announcement."

Managing as best he can with one free hand, Harry retrieves a bowl from the cabinet and serves himself a heaping mountain of spaghetti. "Just came out if m'being honest," he shrugs, settling into the stool next to her with Arlo still glued to his lap. "'sides it's different this time. He was my first baby and I was scared."

He doesn't realize that she's fallen silent until he's slurping back noodles and she doesn't scold him. Curiously, Harry rotates just enough to look at her. Y/n is staring at him, eyes big and moony when he mumbles a suspicious "wha'?"

"You were scared?"

Swallowing down his food, he nods. Her intent gaze brings a blush to his cheeks and he has to drop his eyes to peer down at Arlo. "Y-yeah. Didn't know if he'd like me as his dad, ya know?"

Harry's never said those words out loud, now that he's come to think of it. Whenever something's pertained to Arlo, Harry was always the positive reinforcement, the one reassuring y/n about them stepping into parenthood. He never really told her how much it scared him because he didn't want to scare her.

"I-I didn't know that," she mumbles. "Why didn't you say anything?"

He shrugs, lifting his gaze from Arlo to y/n. "Because I wanted to be a good dad. Ya know, like the kind that can kill spiders and scare aware bad dreams.....Just wanted to be strong I guess."

He doesn't say it, but he knows she's picked up the fear he won't acknowledge. He doesn't want to be his dad. His father was great but the sad thing is, everything great about him was brought out by alcohol. Des needed that poison to combat his own fears and insecurities, and Harry doesn't want to be like that too. He doesn't want to leave his kids the same way he was left.

"Being scared doesn't make you weak Harry."

She leans over to press a tender kiss to his jaw, belly brushing against his side, and he thinks about those words for the remainder of the day.

~

Crouched down, Harry steers the shopping cart with one hand and guides Arlo along with the other one. By the way he's trudging along, Harry knows Arlo is getting tired of walking. It's good for him to practice though, so Harry leads him along for another few minutes before scooping him up in one arm.

"Did so well bug." Harry compliments, pecking Arlo's cheek. The toddler curls up into his chest, yawning. It's a bit difficult steering the cart with one hand but Harry manages, steadily making his way up and down each aisle. He gets baby cereal for Arlo, a couple bags of puffy hot Cheetos to stash in the cabinets, and he's stocking up on y/n's latest craving (spaghetti-o's and meatballs) when a familiar face rounds the corner.

Zayn is pushing a cart filled groceries, eyes scanning up and down the shelves and Harry curses under his breath. The last person he wants to see right now is Zayn. Last time they had a run in he said something that bothered y/n and Harry never wants anything to bother his girl.

In an attempt to hide, Harry pulls his hood up over his head, shrinking into his pullover and craning his neck to not make eye contact with his old friend. Grabbing a few cans of the fake pasta y/n is living off of, Harry sets them in the cart and quickly walks down the aisle. A man who looks a few years older than Harry moves towards him, stepping around Zayn and in front of Harry's cart.

"Excuse me," the man stops him, gaze dropping to the boy against his chest for half a second before regretfully meeting Harry's eyes. "m'so sorry to bother, didn't notice the little one-"

"It's fine." Harry cuts off, glancing at Zayn to make sure his back is still to them. It is and Harry relaxes a bit at that, but his curiosity grows. "How can I help you sir?"

The man smiles, grateful. "I just wanted to tell you that m'son and I are big fans and we're excited for your fight this weekend."

Harry knows he has fans, he's run into a few around the city but they're usually teens and kids that want an autograph. He's never had a grown man approach him about his career and it's odd. Flattering, but odd.

"Thanks man. I really appreciate your support." Harry says sincerely, smiling. The man nods in response, taking a step away from Harry. He moves to leave but stops last minute, turning back to Harry.

"Congrats on the baby news too." He says quickly, almost shy or embarrassed. Before Harry can even thank him, the man is rushing out a "have a good day" and then he's moving down the aisle.

Confused, Harry stands there for a moment trying to figure out what happened. He knew announcing the new baby would bring more attention to him in the media and he's not surprised that that man, who's clearly a fan, had already heard it. He is surprised that the man seemed almost scared to admit to Harry that he knows.

"Harry?"

Fuck.

He looks up, meeting the golden eyes that could only belong to Zayn. Harry doesn't even bother trying to smile at his old friend as he stands in front of Harry's cart. A lady maneuvers around them, murmuring a soft "excuse me sir." Harry scoots his cart over, smiling apologetically.

"How have you been man?"

Harry's gaze returns to it's impassive expression, glancing over Zayn's too-bright presence. "I've been good." Harry responds, moving Arlo to his other arm when he starts to lose feeling in his fingers. The movement draws Arlo out of his nap-like state, the toddler now noticing Zayn standing in front of them. Immediately his face scrunches into a look of annoyance.

If Zayn notices, he must not care because he smiles at Arlo, teeth dazzling. "That's good to hear. Congratulations on the baby, by the way! Saw the article up front. S'amazing!"

Article? Harry lips are just starting to form his question when his phone rings, the tune specific to y/n. "Sorry, gotta take this." Harry says in Zayn's direction, digging into his pocket and retrieving his phone. He hits answer before Zayn can even respond.

"Hi darling."

Harry wiggles Arlo into the basket. "Hi H. You still at the store?"

He pushes the cart down the aisle, not caring that he's left his old friend hanging. "Yeah I am. What's up"

The sound of a running faucet comes through the speaker. "Forgot to add yogurt bites to the list. Arlo ate the last of 'em last night and ya know how he is if he doesn't have any before bed."

Harry snorts, steering towards the baby food aisle. Arlo has fallen in love with yogurt bites and they've become his snack before bed. Harry thinks he shouldn't be having them every night and he'd tried to tell Arlo that two nights ago, but Arlo is a stubborn thing. He screamed his head off, ignored Harry's attempts at giving him fresh fruit instead, and then only calmed down after y/n nursed him.

"I'll grab 'em darling. No worries." He assures, tossing a couple bags of the bites into the cart. "Anything else?"

"Do we still have the old flower vases from our wedding in the garage?" She asks.

"Umm, I think so. You expecting flowers from a secret lover or something?" Harry jokes, eyes catching on a pack of bibs hanging in the aisle.

"Not unless you've got a trick up your sleeve Styles." She retorts.

He tosses a pack into the basket. "Buy you a whole flower shop if that's what ya want darling." Arlo grumbles from the baby seat of the cart, tiny fingers coming up to play with the rings on Harry's fingers that are locked around the steering bar.

"Don't worry about that, we've got enough flowers." Y/n laughs and he can hear her moving around the house. "Three bouquets just arrived with congratulations cards."

"What?"

"Guess the baby announcement was well accepted." She says. "We're getting lots of flowers for it."

Pushing towards the checkout, Harry frowns in confusion. "Got stopped by a fan today for the same thing. Can't believe it's such a big deal."

"Well you're more known now than when we were having Arlo." She reasons, and Harry hums his agreement. He passes the self checkouts, freezing when he spots numerous copies of his face on the ends of the aisle.

"Holy shit," he breathes, not even thinking about the innocent ears before him. Y/n gasps through the phone, scolding him for his language. "Sorry darling, s'just I'm bloody plastered all over the grocery store."

He reads over the cover of the sports magazine. It's got a big photo of him in the ring, gloves held up to his chin and jaw tight around his mouth guard. Next to it is a photo of him and y/n leaving a big fight awhile back. She's got her head down, hand snug in his as he leads her along. And written in bold yellows is "Harry Styles Expecting Baby #2 As He Prepares for Biggest Fight Yet!"

"They put me on the front page." He tells her, not bothering to flip open the article before he's quickly moving away from the display. "Why would they do that?"

When he did that interview, he thought it'd be a small, breezy section in the magazine. If he had known he'd be getting stopped in the grocery store and flowers sent to his house he wouldn't have said anything. As previously mentioned, he's a private guy, so having this detail projected in a way he wasn't warned about makes his stomach twist uncomfortably.

"It's alright Harry," y/n says reassuringly, knowing that he's become anxious at the publicity. "No harm done. It's just flowers bub and as long as we've got those vases in the garage, everyone will survive."

He chuckle weakly at her joke, picking an aisle so he can quickly checkout and go home. "Don't go digging around for them by yourself, don't need ya falling and getting hurt. I'll help ya when I get home."

"Aw my hero." She coos, and he knows she's teasing but it still makes him blush. God he loves her.

~

"Those bloody things are making my nose itch." Harry grumbles, aggressively rubbing the palm of his hand into his burning nostrils. He glares at the bouquet of peonies on the dresser, a gift from y/n's co-workers, and moves towards the bed.

Y/n is propped up against the headboard, a pair of his pajama bottoms on her legs but her shirt has been abandoned on the carpet by the bed. Arlo is attached to her hip, mouth latched to her nipple and she's stroking through his soft hair while he breastfeeds. Harry's heart throbs in his chest, warmed by the sight of his wife coddling their baby, and he's so fucking in love with her he's anxious to get Arlo into bed so he can have his way with her.

"I can't just throw them out, H." She sighs, pulling her gaze from the television to his pouty face. He huffs, running the damp towel in his hand through his hair one last time before haphazardly tossing it towards the closet. Kneeing his way up the bed, he curls into y/n's side and smiles when she tucks her arm around him.

"Stroke my hair too?" He mumbles, peering up with puppy eyes and she giggles before threading her fingers through his hair too. Arlo gurgles around a mouthful, bright green eyes opening to look at Harry. He worries for a moment that Arlo is going to get fussy and kick him away, but the toddler just blinks at him sleepily.

"Tha's ma boy." He coos fondly, squirming a hand over to pat Arlo's full tummy. Y/n giggles and continues to stroke his hair, Harry watching Arlo slowly be soothed to sleep. "Lemme get him to bed darling."

Grunting, he pushes himself up from the mattress and too his feet. Y/n transfers Arlo to his awaiting arms, swiping at the milk that dribbled out of his snoring lips and onto her skin. Harry leans down, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

"Wanna have a shag when I get back?"

A shocked laugh bursts out of her, Harry's face lighting up at the sound as his heart swells. He was trying to be a bit silly, not enough to have her eyes crinkling like that, but he's happy she finds him funny.

"Sure baby." She breathes, still grinning. His stomach flutters, excitement bubbling in his belly and he nods quickly before moving across the room.

Arlo stays cuddled into Harry's neck as he flicks on the nightlight in the nursery and adjusts the blankets in the crib. Theo watched Harry from his bed in the corner, sleepy puppy eyes following his every move. He lays Arlo down, gently shushing him when he store and tucks Bunny into his side. With a peck to his head and a quiet "good night bug," Harry partially shuts the bedroom door and rushes back into the bedroom.

Y/n has already kicked off her bottoms, leaving her naked on their sheets and Harry groans as he works to catch up with her. His shirt is playfully tossed at y/n's grinning face, Harry laughing as he wiggles out of his sweats. Naked as the day he was born, Harry jumps onto his knees at the bottom of the bed.

A laugh bubbles out of y/n when the whole bed shakes under his weight, clearly amused at how excited he is. She must be just as excited though because she quickly leans forward to cup his face, attaching their lips and bringing him back down to the pillows with her.

"Wanna be on top," he mutters into her mouth, ghosting his hand down her tummy and tickling his thumb over her clit. "f'that's ok?"

"Mmm," she hums, happily "too tired to top anyway."

Harry seals their lips together again, using his knees to spread her thighs a bit further apart for him. Her palms smooth down his sides and around to his back, a breathy moan interrupting their kiss courtesy of his fingers. Harry utilizes the chance to break away and snag a pillow from his side of the bed, urging her hips up by tapping the fluffy thing against her side. She lifts, and he settles it under her lower back and bum to prop her up. Luckily for him, he's had a lot of practice getting around a baby bump for a shag.

Settling between her thighs, Harry giggles when she wraps her legs around his hips and tugs him closer. His body hovers over hers, love-sick smiles a breath away from meeting each other, and he drags his fingers through her folds, groaning at how slick she's become.

"Don't even have to try anymore do I?" He teases with a wolfish smile, capturing her lips just as she rolls her eyes. Giggling, he leaves soft kisses across her cheek, heading towards the base of her jaw.

"S'the baby's fault honestly." She argues, her fingers disappearing into the damp locks sticking to the back of his neck.

He hums, smirking against her skin. "Is it?"

With a small tug she's pulling him back up to her mouth. "Yeah. Gets me revved up all the bloody time. I don't know what you're putting in there mister but it's exhausting."

Harry laughs quietly, nipping at her bottom lip. "Don't worry baby, I'm gonna take care of ya. S'my problem after all, isn't it?"

Y/n nods, biting back a grin as Harry grips his cock with the fingers that had previously been fondling her. Chest to chest, Harry smiles at the feeling of their stomachs pressed together as he guides the head of him into her slit.

The sigh that puffs out of her chest sends a zip of pleasure up his spine, as if she'd been partial without him and the pure relief of just having him in her is all she could ever want. Harry hums appreciatively, eyes fluttering shut as he basks in how warm and gooey she is for him. He'd almost forgotten how it felt to have her this desperate for him and his touch.

"Oh it's so good darling," he mumbles to her, dropping his head into the crook of her neck. He pulls his hips back, breath stuttering when he easily slips forward again.

Y/n moans softly, dropping one hand to the small of his back as if guiding him. "So so good H." She confirms in a whisper, her voice tickling his ear and he squirms with a small laugh at the sensation.

Harry's soft with his movements, cautious of the baby between them and the one sleeping down the hall. Even the kisses he places on her jaw and lips are tender, small brushes between their confirmations that he "feels so good" inside her and she was "made for being wrapped me huh?" And Harry thinks nothing ever been truer. Her arms were made to hold him, her hands were made for pulling him closer and closer, and her heart was made to completely consume his.

Y/n reaches her high before him, rolling her hips up to try and quicken his but he maintains his sensual thrusts, stroking her temple as she trembles and gasps, clinging to him in every way possible. There's something about how quick she falls apart for him when she's pregnant and how utterly earth shattering it is for her, that it completely obliterates any sense of stamina Harry's ever had. He couldn't care less when he follows shortly after, grinding down into her heat as his cock twitches and buries deep in her walls. She's the one stroking his temple this time, and he knows she's watching his eyes scrunch shut and his gaping mouth curl into a breathy laugh as he comes.

Maybe it's the lingering anxiety that washed over him at the grocery store, but when y/n kisses him and gently nudges him off of her so she can go pee, Harry's desperate as he grips her hand and pouts, practically begging when he asks "can I get back in ya after? Just to fall asleep darling?"

Of course she nods, brushing sweaty curls from his forehead to soothe him and just like that he already feels lighter. He never has to sorry with her, because they were made for loving each other.

~

"Oh fuck!"

"Would you stop being so loud! It's 8 in the morning!"

"Can't help it, darling."

Harry tightens his hold around y/n's thighs, dipping his tongue back into her slit and groaning loudly despite the warning she's already given him this morning. She tugs on his hair scoldingly, drawing a pained hiss out of him. Harry brings his teeth up to her clit, nibbling in retaliation. A pained hiss of her own leaves her lips, cut off by a soft moan as he soothes his tongue over the spot.

Grinding her hips up into his mouth, Harry can't help but push his own into the mattress and a deep groan escapes him as he does so. Huffing, y/n scolds him again for being too loud when they've got a sleeping child one room over.

"Stop yelling at me so I can make you cum." He purrs, lips brushing over her clit. Their eyes meet over the curves and dips of her body, Harry smirking when she raises a prodding eyebrow at him. He kisses her thigh just once, lapping his tongue through her slit and he's just reaching her most sensitive spot when the beginning stirs of Arlo waking up break through the baby monitor.

Simultaneous groans leave both their mouths, this time of frustration. Harry pouts, knocking his forehead on y/n's hip bone and shaking his head.

"I told you Styles." Y/n teases, stroking through his hair for a second. He can't even think of a rebuttal before Arlo is calling out softly for her, and she's pushing up from the bed to get dressed.

"Take care of that while I take care of this." She calls as she disappears through the door, snickering softly and leaving him there desperate for her. But then again, when is he not desperate for her?

~

Hey man, hope I'm not being a bother. I was just wondering if you wanted to go out for a drink Friday or something?

-Z

Harry stares at the message, wondering why Zayn would sign it when the Instagram handle is clearly him. He also wonders why the hell Zayn is trying to hang out with him now.

It's a sunny day, the air outside relatively warm for March so Harry slipped a sweater on Arlo and brought him out to the backyard to play. They're sat in the grass, Arlo between his legs as they teach Theo to play fetch. Arlo's gotten good at tossing the chew toy himself, so Harry used the free time to start clearing out the congratulations messages he's received on Instagram.

"What's the matter H?"

Harry locks his phone, tilting his head up and squinting into the sun as y/n stands over them. She's got a bowl of puffy hot Cheetos in her hand, cradling them as if they were a precious gem as she settles into the grass with them.

"Nothing," he mumbles, pecking her temple when she leans into his side. "just got a weird text from Zayn. He wants to hang out."

Crunching through a chip, she hums. "Did you know he lives here?"

She lifts up a Cheeto, offering it to him. Harry gladly takes it between his teeth, pulling it from her fingertips and crunching down on the puffy chip. Swallowing, he shakes his head.

"Ran into him at the store once around Valentine's Day," she says, eyes watching Arlo dig his stubby fingers into the dry grass. "Was trying to talk to me about you I think but your son threw a fit and I was too busy to care honestly."

"Really?" Harry asks, perking up at the idea of Arlo throwing a tantrum to keep people away from y/n. That's the only time he'll agree with such actions. "Taught him well then haven't I?"

Rolling her eyes, she elbows him. "If you're son grows up to be rude I'm going to kick your ass Harry Styles."

Laughing, he steals a chip from her, locking his phone and dropping it to the grass. Arlo, interested in the device, crawls over to pick it up.

"Wouldn't expect anything less darling." He says, reaching over to swipe his phone to the camera so Arlo can snap random pictures.

"What are you going to do about Zayn then?"

"Suppose I should see what he wants, yeah?"

Y/n shrugs but Harry can read the look on her face easily. She's always silently encouraged him to face things that need mending or fixing, and his past with Zayn is one of those things.

"S'done then," he laughs, pinching her side affectionately. "I'll figure out why he's so obsessed with me."

She laughs, throwing her head back and scrunching her nose in the way makes him want to stare at her forever. "Think it's that one he's obsessed with. Look how cute he is."

Harry follows her line of sight, smile growing at the sight of Arlo making faces at himself in Harry's camera.

So bloody cute.

~

"Are we gonna be besties? I think we're gonna be besties." Niall states, swinging an arm around y/n's shoulders. He's on his third beer of the night already and Harry hasn't even made it to the ring yet. Y/n just laughs, continuing to maneuver tape around Harry's fingers but he's not as kind.

Casting a glare at the Irish man, Harry calls out to Gemma. "Get your leprechaun off of my girl before I use him to warm up."

Niall isn't really phased by the words, only pouting softly at Harry's steel gaze but Gemma is quick to rush over and pull Niall up from the couch by his hand.

"Come on babe, let's go find our seats." She coos to him, sending Harry an apologetic smile. He waits for her and Niall to turn their backs before chuckling softly. Y/n pinches at his wrist.

"Be nice to Niall. I really like him."

"Oh you really like him, huh?" Harry huffs, nudging his knee against hers. She rolls her eyes, giggling when he slips his free hand around her waist and pulls her into his lap. "Please tell me how much you really like Niall darling." He requests, shoving his face in her neck and playfully biting at her throat and shoulder. Just as he'd expected, she giggles and squirms, Harry having to wrap her up in a bear hug to keep her from sliding right off his thigh.

"Harry! Stop!"

He laughs with her, moving up to bite at the apples of her cheeks and her nose, growling as if he were a rabid beast. His freshly taped knuckles ache under the tightness of the wrap as he grips her flailing legs but he ignores it in favor of listening to her laugh.

"I like you more! I swear!" She shouts between laughs, wiggling a hand free and gripping the back of his neck. Pleased with her words, Harry pants out a laugh before sealing his mouth to hers.

"Tha's good because I like you more than Niall too." He mumbles into her lips.

"You like me more than you like everyone." She chuckles, stroking her thumb along his jawline. Harry's eyes shine with delight, proud that she knows her place in his heart, but he still teases.

"Mmm almost darling. Quite like my son, ya know that?"

She rolls her eyes but looks at him fondly, pinching the meat of his cheek. "Cute," she murmurs, "now go get ready for your fight baby. Want everyone to see my husband's gonna be the national champion."

Her words bring a rush of blood to his cheeks (and his cock if he's being honest), but he nudges her onto the couch next to him. "Just need two more wins." He whispers in her ear, pecking her temple.

Just two more wins.

~

There's good fights and there's bad fights. Everyone knows that. But not everyone knows that there's good wins and bad wins. Harry's experienced a few of those bad ones. Wins that he probably shouldn't have gotten because he certain his opponent had landed more punches and the judges miscounted. Or it was clear the other fighter wasn't into it and let him win.

Harry thinks tonight is his worst win ever.

The fight had been good. Trinsky, tonight's opponent from New Jersey, was short and stocky but strong. Harry was quicker than him though so they'd gone back and forth for a few rounds. Nothing two rough, just enough punches to have bright red welts on his torso and an ache in his jaw.

He fought through it though, fueled by the sounds of y/n and Niall cheering for him. Win this fight and he's onto the championship match. So he went at it with all he had left, charging Trinsky just as the man knocked his fist into Harry's temple.

It felt like a lightning bolt of pain zapped through his brain, shaking his core and causing his feet to stumble. Trinsky slid to the right as Harry crashed into the ropes, blinking furiously as the room around him spun. He was still in a daze as his body moved on its own, quick enough to uppercut his left fist into Trinsky's chin. The man crumbled to the mat, out cold, and Harry's dizzy head brought him down as well.

There's cheering and an announcement of his name, declaring Harry the winner but he can't seem to focus on it. Trinsky is being moved from the ring by his team, Harry falling to his bum on the mat as he rips at the velcro of his gloves with his teeth.

The room is coming back into focus, someone is calling him from the side of the ring but he doesn't recognize the voice so it goes ignored. He gets his hands free, rubbing his fingers into the tender spot on his head and wincing. He needs to take some Advil and ice it.

Harry climbs to his feet, a bit disoriented as he ducks under the ropes to leave. He knows he's got a team here somewhere but his mind can't seem to recognize what they look like or how to find them.

"Man, what are you doing?"

He turns, confused to find two men watching him like he's grown a second head. Harry feels like he knows the warm brown eyes of the taller man but he's not sure from where. Smiling uncomfortably, he motions behind him.

"I n-need ice or something." He says, excusing himself with a shrug and turning back to the locker room. He doesn't like the way his stomach twists or how his chest is telling him he knows those men when he couldn't even tell you there names right now. His heart thunders in his chest, panic seeping in and he's desperate to find something or someone that'll just help him out.

"Harry baby," she says calmly, a hand rubbing up his bare back comfortingly. "you okay?"

Y/n appears at his side, head tilted so she can meet his nervous gaze. Almost immediately he latches onto her hand, shaking his head. Her eyebrows crease, lips frowning as she reaches to cup his cheek.

"What's going on H? What's the matter?"

"M'head hurts," he answers immediately. "I-I think I forgot my team."

A trembling breath leaves his lips, tears stinging behind his eyes when he sees the concern on his wife's face. She brushes her thumb over his temple, the one she knows got hit the hardest, and then brushes a sweaty strand of hair off his forehead to place a tender kiss there.

"Let's get you to the locker room babe."

He follows like a lost puppy, trailing behind her through the back hallway and into his locker room. Y/n closes the door behind him before anyone else can enter, twisting the lock. Harry sits in the closest chair, fiddling with the tape on his fingers as he tries to calm down.

"Do you want to talk to me bub?" Y/n asks quietly, pulling up a seat directly in front of him. He nods, lifting his gaze from his hands to her face.

"I don't know what happened. It's like I got hit in the head and everything got shook up." He explains, frowning. He hates the way this feels. Hates that his body is screaming at him to just remember but his brain refuses to accept the message. "I know them, I know I do but s'like their names and stuff are just gone."

Y/n inhales sharply, biting nervously at her bottom lip. Harry's not even sure what to say and that makes him feel so much worse. He doesn't even feel like he has a concussion, not really. Everything else is still there, still in the forefront of his mind. His wife, his boys, Anne and Gemma. And he faintly remembers sitting at bars with one of the men from his team, remembers crashing on his couch late at night. But the soul of those memories are gone.

"I'm gonna get you some painkillers and water okay babe? Then we'll figure out what to do."

He nods, smiling wetly when she kisses his forehead. Watching her move around the room to gather water and whatnot, Harry wills himself to just think. He knows these men, he's just gotta focus on it. A memory stands out, one of the three of them in a car on a road trip. His trainer is driving, his manager in the passenger seat and he knows this is a trip for a match. A recent match too because he remembers saying goodbye to Arlo and y/n, kissing her swollen belly before he went.

Y/n returns to him with a bottle of water and a couple pills, watching him cautiously as he squeezes his eyes shut and forces himself to just think. Recalling conversations from the car, remembering the screen in the front of the vehicle that reads Connected to Liam's iPhone. Liam. Almost instantly Nick's name floods his brain again and he feels his whole body tremble with relief.

Harry takes the medicine, gulping it down and slumping into his seat. "Nick and Liam," he finally murmurs, voice thick. "I couldn't remember darling. They were right in front of me and I couldn't remember their fucking names."

A silent tear trails down his cheek, Harry sniffling as y/n wipes it away with a tender touch he's only felt from her. "Its ok Harry. We'll figure out what happened. At least you remember now baby." She tried to comfort, but Harry's heart still aches.

"What if-" he peers up at her through wet eyelashes. "what if it had been you? Or Arlo? Or all three of you? What if I-"

He can't even finish the thought before he's shaking his head, more tears slipping down his cheeks and jaw. What would he have done if he'd looked at y/n and not remembered her name? Not remembered the beautiful son they created? Or the one she's growing now?

"It wasn't Harry," she stays sternly, cutting into his spiralling thoughts. "it wasn't and even if it did happen, it wouldn't change a thing. You're not getting rid of us."

Trying to smile, he nods and takes a deep breath. He trusts her, more than anyone, and he's never known someone that fights as much as she does. He knows, no matter what, that she'll always have his back.

[goodwriterwithbadhabits]

Want Me

This is, a lot more than anything I've ever written, but I hope you like it.

Master List

~~

When Chan had told Stays he had a gift for them today, you had anticipated something like the valentines date. Maybe even Hyunjin’s surprise appearance. What you definitely weren’t expecting was your boyfriend to basically strip in front of literally the whole world.

“Oh. My god.” Your reaction was subconscious, and totally not something you wanted your roommate, Sungmi, to hear. Your eyes were the size of saucers as you stared at your phone.

“What’s up?” Her interest was piqued the second you made a sound, and being you, you did the one thing you could think of.

You threw your phone as far from yourself as possible.

The two of you watch it sail across the living room and land safely in the dirty clothes hamper neither of you had moved from the hallway to the washer.

“Uh, you good?”

“Wow, look at that laundry!” You exclaim, “Someone should go do it.” You can’t even jump up from the couch when her hand is wrapping around your ankle, pulling you onto the floor.

“Was it Chan’s performance?” Your face immediately goes crimson. “No,” You lie, poorly. “What performance? I didn’t even know he was performing. I should go do the laundry.” You’re talking like you’re the flash, and while she’s attempting to figure out what you said, you attempt to wrench your leg from her grip. Unfortunately her brain power is faster that you can get your arms under you, though you do manage to yank her off the couch with you.

“Get back here!” She huffs, yanking you closer to her and somehow managing to sit on your pelvis. “You saw the Wolfgang performance didn’t you?” She demands, but your answer is more struggling to knock her over. “I’m not going anywhere, Y/n.” She drops forward, pinning your arms by your head, and if she were literally anyone else, you would probably think this was super hot.

“Curse your shockingly strong legs.”

“Nine years of waterpolo.” She explains.

“Really? Damn, I should start playing.”

“You’re stalling.”

“No I’m not.” You lie, again. She rolls her eyes, dropping her head a little more to knock her forehead against yours. “Ow.”

“Be honest with me.”

“I am.”

“No you’re not.” She bonks your head again, “Stop lying.”

“Will you get off me?”

“When we’re done talking.”

“Then yes, I saw Chan’s Wolfgang performance.” She nods, letting go of your hands to sit up properly and crush your pelvis a little more.

“I thought it was pretty hot.” She confesses and you feel something bubble in your chest. You can’t help the slight twitch in your brows and of course she notices. “Ah! Jealousy!”

“I’m not jealous.” She taps your forehead, aggressively enough to hurt a little. “Ow.”

“You can’t lie to a Psychology major.”

“I’m not-” She raises her finger again and you relent. “Alright, fine. Maybe I’m not a huge fan of someone telling me they think my boyfriend is hot to my face.”

“Did you think it was hot?” Your face grows warm and you have to bite back an embarrassed smile.

“I’m not answering that.”

“You don’t have to. You’d be stupid to think otherwise.”

“Especially when he was in the white shirt.” You admit, and she nods.

“You should see if he’ll wear something like that next time you two decide to get all hot and heavy.” Your face flushes again, not really wanting to discuss your sexlife with someone you’ve only actually known for about seven months.

“Um yeah, totally.”

“Oh my god. You guys don’t do stuff!”

“We do stuff!” You defend, immediately regretting it.

“Oh really? Ever used handcuffs?” On him, or me?

“I don’t have to answer that.”

“So that's a no. How about, have you ever sent him a nude?” Oh, if only you knew.

“Get off me.”

“Another no.” She grins, “I’m shocked, he seems like such a feisty boy, you’d think he’d do stuff.” “Seriously, get off.” There’s no humor in your voice now. It wasn’t her place to tell you about your own boyfriend, and you were getting sick of her forcing her way into your love life.

“Oh come on Y/n.” She doesn’t get another word out before you grab her leg and wrench her sideways. Instead of just tossing her onto the floor, you find yourself slamming your hand into the floor by her head, now leaning over her.

“Stay out of my love life, do you hear me?” You practically growl, “I don’t need your help to please my boyfriend.” Her eyes go wide at your words, and you instantly become aware of your positions when a smirk paints itself on her face.

“My, my Y/n. I didn’t peg you as someone who’d be on top.”

“Clearly.” You reply. “Now are you quite done?”

“Have you ever topped him? He seems like the kind of guy who wouldn’t like that.”

“Once again, I don’t have to answer that.”

“You should try it. Something tells me you’ll like it.”

“Shut up.”

~~

“I hate you.” It had been hours since your rather sexually charged conversation with her, and here you were standing at her doorway seeking advice. You hadn’t stopped thinking about what she had said, but in all honesty, Chan was your first, so you had no clue what you were doing most of the time.

“Oh? Is that why you’re looking all lost and confused at my door?” Her voice is sickeningly sweet as she looks at you in the mirror. “What up?”

“I need advice.”

“Wear black, it looks good on everyone.” Her gaze shifts back to her reflection, where she’s curling her hair for a date.

“About Chan.” Her attention turns back to you in an instant and you’re tempted to run back to your room.

“In what sense?”

“What you said earlier.” A wicked grin spreads on her face. “Have a seat darling.” You trudge over to her bed, sitting on the trunk at the end to watch her. “First off, tell me this, who initiates sex usually?”

“He does.” You admit quietly. “Babe, if you want my help, you gotta be able to talk about sex without turning into a tomato. I mean, how are you sexually active and still blushing like a virgin. Next you're going to tell me you only do it missionary with the lights off.”

“Well…” Her mouth drops open in horror.

“Oh my god.” She gasps. “No wonder you’re all annoyed these days. You’re not satisfied.”

“Hey, he gets me off,” You defend, “And he’s very good at it.” You practically swoon just thinking about it. She raises her hands in surrender, but smiles at your answer.

“Have you ever asked him for oral?”

“How the hell do I bring that up in casual conversation? Just “Hey babe, you did wonderful today, do you want to eat me out’.”

“Well if it works.”

“No.”

“Okay, have you ever worn lingerie for him?”

“No, but I did buy something to wear a few months ago.” She nods, approving.

“How come you’ve never worn it?”

“Between Kingdom and the fact that he lives with seven other men, there hasn’t exactly been a time and place.”

“That’s fair. When do you guys usually do it? What’s it like? Just broad details.”

“He tells me he wants to spend the night. I usually get a hotel room, since my parents are still sending me money for rent, and we arrive at separate times. Its usually really sweet and slow.”

“And after?” She prompts.

“We shower, and cuddle. He usually leaves first cause he has practice or something.”

“Ever done it in the shower?” You shake your head, shoulders slumping as you realize how lame everything sounds.

“I really like him, but I think, especially since you said he seems like a kinky type, what if he’s not as into me?”

“I don’t think that’s the case.” She turns her chair towards you, setting a hand on your knee. “I think you’re both too nervous to broach the subject. I know this is your first real relationship, and it might be his too.”

“So, what should I do?”

“Start simple.” She turns back to her mirror, “You should book a room, and jazz it up a little. Rose petals, candles, maybe that set you bought. That way its obvious you want him.”

“That's not a bad idea.”

“Even better! I will go halfsies on one of the fancy hotels with you. I know one that has these huge bathtubs so you can take one together, and the shower has a stone floor, so its not slippery. Oh! We can get you a pretty silk robe, so you can do the dramatic reveal.”

“This sounds like a lot. How about for now, I just do the candles and the set?” She laughs, clearly embarrassed by the way she fiddles with her necklace.

“Sounds like a plan. You can do the big one for your anniversary.” You nod, agreeing with her.

“I can do it tonight, he’ll probably want some stress relief after that performance.” You offer her a sly smile, jumping up to leave the room.

“Where are you going?” She calls after you.

“I gotta go buy some candles.”

~~

Hey lover, come meet me. *Y/n shared her location*

You glanced over at the message again as you adjusted the black lace garterbelt. Sungmi had been right, black did look amazing on everyone. He had read the message, and if you were lucky, he was too busy driving over to text you back. You slid the black skirt up your legs, loving the way it stopped just under the edge of the thigh highs. The last piece was a simple t shirt, it was a little ripped and hung off one shoulder, just giving a slight peekaboo of the bra you had spent way too much money on. If Chan didn’t combust from seeing you in this, you were going to have a fun night.

Carefully you moved your things out of the main room, tucking them in the closet for safe keeping, and began lighting the candles. The sweet aroma of vanilla and lavender wafted through the room as you shut the lights off. You settled on the edge of the bed, taking a few risque selfies to show Sungmi and maybe send Chan later.

And then you waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

Babe?

Three hours, that's how long you’d been waiting before you finally texted him again, having run out of excuses for the man.

“Sorry babe, I was working. Do you still want me to come to you?”

Not really, after this long, the wonder had worn off, and you just felt stupid and hurt. Of course he wasn’t going to come if you asked.

No. Its fine.

Actually, I want to talk to you. Are you still at the studio?

You set your phone down, turn the lights back on and begin blowing out candles. You don’t bother changing, just grab your sneakers and your bag before heading out, tucking your key and phone in your bra as you leave the building.

With some take out in hand you make your way to the JYP building, not at all surprised to see several lights still on.

“Woah, hel-lo Y/n.” You instantly smile at Jae’s greeting, which is followed by Brian’s whistle. “You look like a full course meal, girl.”

“Hey boys, what had you here so late, its past midnight?”

“Oh we were just-” Jae glances over at Brian who clears his throat.

“Just working. What about you?”

“Chan’s still working, so I brought some food.” You shrug, heading towards the elevators, “Have a good night.

“You too.” You have to bite your lip so you don’t laugh at Brian smacking Jae’s shoulder, earning a whine from the taller boy.

The lights from the studios are all off when you arrive, but you can see the glow of the computer shining from Chan’s. You knock as you open the door, making him jump and yank his headphones off when the light from the hall hits him. His face lights up in a smile when he sees you. Of course, he’s wearing super tight jeans and a black button up, neither of which were not helping you relax.

“Oh hey baby, I didn’t know you were coming.” He stands to greet you, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek.

“I texted you.” You tell him, which has him looking guilty.

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear it when I’m working.” You smile reassuringly at him.

“That's okay, I know, that’s why I just came over.” You hold up the bag of take out, “I also brought food since you forget to eat when you start working.”

“You are the light of my life.” He sighs, kissing you properly this time as he takes the bag. Your heart flutters from his words, some of the butterflies in your stomach coming back from the dead. You sit across from him, stealing his work chair as he spreads the food out on the table and digs in. It takes him a few minutes to notice that you’re just staring, and he finally stops eating to say something, “You okay? How come you aren’t eating?”

“I already ate.” You lie, but he sees right through it, setting his chopsticks down to look at you properly. You watch his eyes rake across your body, finally seeing the lace stockings and the matching bra.

“That’s not it. You’re disappointed.” He realizes, “You looked the same way when you saw I.Ns grades.” He explains before you can even open your mouth to answer. “I know its not our anniversary, and your birthday already passed.”

“Its nothing babe. I just had a stupid idea for tonight.” The words come spilling out of your mouth before you can stop them. He looks at your outfit again and a cheeky smile begins to grow on his face.

“Were you-? But you never-” He lets out a deep breath, followed by a small giggle, which doesn’t make you feel better.

“I should head home.” You spring up, heading towards the door. “Enjoy your dinner.” He catches your arm before you get too far, pulling you back to wrap his arms around you.

“What did you have planned, baby girl?” Your heart flutters at the pet name, and the low tone his voice had taken on. “You wouldn’t have gotten all dressed up like this for nothing.” HIs free hand trails down your side, coming to the edge of your skirt, where his fingers find the skin just above the top of your stockings.

“Maybe I just wanted to make sure you want me as much as I want you.” You confess.

“Baby girl.” His voice is soft now, “Of course I want you.” His lips brush the skin of your neck as he speaks, sending shivers across your whole body.

“Then how come we never do anything interesting?”

“Like what?” Your confidence grows as you turn to face him, looping a finger through the choker he wears.

“Maybe I don’t want to do the same thing every time we fuck.” You can see from the way his eyebrows hike up that he’s startled by your words, hell, you were startled by them. “Maybe I want to see you.” Your other hand moves up to his face, trailing your thumb over his lips. “Maybe I don’t always want to be in a bed, in the dark, on my back. Maybe I want to be in charge.”

“I don’t think you could handle that baby girl.” He bites at your thumb as he finishes his sentence.

“Try me, Chris.” You challenge. His hands come up to your cheeks, pulling you in for a searing kiss. For a few seconds, your brain forgets what you had just challenged. He doesn’t help as he pulls away from your lips, his trailing across your cheek and down your neck.

“Sit.” You order, pulling away, trying to keep your breathing steady and not let on how affected you were.

“Excuse me?”

“Sit. Down.” You order again, shoving him lightly towards his computer chair. He backs up slowly, collapsing into it, eyes never leaving you.

“What are you doing?” He asks as you turn away from him.

“Proving a point.” You declare, the click of his lock emphasizing your words.

“Oh?” You turn back to him, finding him relaxed as ever, watching you with his legs spread wide. You saunter towards him, standing between his legs, hands on the arm rests. “You really think you can handle this baby?”

“If I impress you, you’ll save your work and we head over to the hotel.”

“And if you don’t?”

“You save your work and we head over to the hotel anyway.”

“Bet.”

“You might regret that, baby.” You push on the chair, sending it back until it connects with his desk.

“Oh really?” He asks, as you push his knees together slightly so you can straddle his lap. Your fingers trail from his shoulders down to the buttons on his shirt, popping them open one at a time.

“You talk too much.” You tell him, leaning forward to press kisses along his neck. Just as you hit his pulse point, he hisses, hands coming to rest on your thighs. “Ah ah ah.” You chastise, pulling away from his neck. “No touching.” You pull his hands away, dropping them on the arm rests instead. “Hands to yourself.”

“Oh you are in for it when we get to the hotel.” He groans as you nip at his skin.

“That’s what I’m hoping for.”

[atlabeth]

transferred part eleven - atla smau

masterlist | part ten | part twelve

there’s a time skip of about a month between this and the last chapter just so u know

summary: trying to run from your past is hard, but falling for your brother’s roommate is even harder. little do you know that he’s falling for you as well.

a/n: i am so sorry this took so long to come out. i’ve been really unmotivated to write in general plus i’ve been super busy with school. i also have been hating everything i write lately i rewrote this like 4 times before i was okay with it lmao. also realizing that i might’ve channeled my stress over school into this chapter. manifesting a tea date w zuko

wc: 1.9k 

warning(s): cursing, pining, some very stressed out college kids, a painfully awkward zuko after a fun realization

perm taglist: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin

transferred taglist: @ourbestfriend-mishacollins @lil-lex1 @xxshad0wxb1rdxx @zuko-is-the-sun @akiris @irohs-teapot @thatarthistorynerd @charlenasaxen @minninugget @marvel-ousnesss @count-thotticus @what-ye-egg @furblrwurblr @thesstuff @mariachiii @ietss @dizzy-miss-lizzieeeeee @xbarrjallenx @tommy-braccoli @dreamsluvrr @floofybread @thelovelylolly @lin-biefong-is-my-life @tiffanyy-21 @sistheselenophile @theincredibledeadlyviper​ 

“Take all the time you need, I can see that it’s a very busy day.” Your head shot up from below the counter when you heard the voice and a grin broke out on your face. 

“Zuko! What are you doing here?” You felt the heat rush to your cheeks as he smiled, which was something that seemed to occur every time you were around him. It wasn’t your fault he had a smile that could make anyone melt. 

“Zuko! What are you doing here?” You felt the heat rush to your cheeks as he smiled, which was something that seemed to occur every time you were around him. It wasn’t your fault he had a smile that could make anyone melt. 

“What, am I not allowed to just show up?” He joked as he pulled a chair out from a nearby table and sat down. 

“No, of course you are! This is actually the highlight of my day. It’s just, this is one of your rare days off, so I figured you would wanna spend it doing something better than, uh, coming to the place that you work.” You dropped the towel you had been using to clean on the counter and walked around the register, taking your own seat across from him and crossing one leg over the other. 

“Well.. you sounded really stressed in your texts, so I thought I would pay you a visit. It can’t be easy balancing all of your classes along with this job, and I figured I could try and help with some of that.” 

The grin from before came back and you rested your chin in the palm of your hand. “Zuko, that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me. You didn’t have to come all the way here just to hang out with me when we live together.” 

He seemed taken aback by that, surprisingly so. “How? I mean, you had a boyfriend, right?” Thankfully, you missed him visibly cringing at his choice of words as you looked away and passed it off with a laugh that only sounded slightly strained. 

“Keyword is had. I don’t really wanna get into details, but there’s a reason we broke up.” You opened your mouth to say something else in an attempt of changing to subject to anything that wasn’t your failed love life when you heard a familiar voice behind you. 

“I see that my only working employee is taking a break after her break?” You turned your head in a flash and your eyes widened slightly when you saw it was the one responsible for paying your bills.

“Oh, Iroh! I am so, so sorry. Blame your nephew for distracting me on the clock.” You immediately jumped out of your chair as Iroh came out from the back and he simply shook his head, giving you and Zuko a warm smile. 

“Please, do not worry. This is actually for the two of you.” He set the tray with a teapot and two cups on your table and the calming scent of jasmine immediately washed over you.

“Are you sure? I mean, you’re practically paying me to do nothing right now,” you asked, hesitantly settling back in your seat. 

“I have complete faith that you will be able to handle anything that comes your way — today has been a slow day anyways, so you will be fine.” 

“Don’t even try to stop my uncle once he’s made up his mind about something,” Zuko chuckled. Iroh gave his nephew a knowing look that made him blush as he continued walking towards the door.

“Enjoy your date!” He called as he exited the store. Zuko’s face somehow turned an even brighter shade of red and you bit down the smile growing on your lips. You wouldn’t mind if this was a date, of course, but you knew it wasn’t. It was just one of your best friends coming in to see you to help you wade through the endless sea of stress you had found yourself lost in. Definitely not a date. 

“Y/N?” Zuko’s voice snapped you out of your pondering and you nodded with a small laugh. 

“Sorry, just got lost there for a second.” You picked up the teapot and poured a decent amount into both of your cups. “Y’know, I’ve actually started to like tea since I started working here,” you mused, taking a small sip of your own once you finished. “That might have something to do with the fact that we get a discount, but you’d be amazed at the things I’ve grown to like just because they’re cheap.” 

Zuko responded with a laugh of his own, and from there, conversation flowed easily. You weren’t even aware of how much time had passed as the two of you traded stories — your classes, events from your childhoods, your high school experiences — about anything and everything. Your stress melted away a little bit more with each shared anecdote and cup of tea. 

You found yourself enthralled with everything Zuko said — it wasn’t so much the material as much as the way he just… was. The way his eyes sparkled when he talked about his passions, how he tapped his fingers against the ceramic cup when he got excited, and of course, that smile that made you melt. You hung onto every word he said, but you enjoyed him simply being there just as much, if not more. 

And as Zuko watched you talk animatedly, barely able to get through the story you were trying to tell without laughing every other word, he knew that he would do anything to keep that smile on your face. The million dollar smile that lit up every room you walked into and made his heart burst at the seams every time without fail. He wanted you to see yourself the way he saw you, and he would do anything to make you happy. 

It was at that moment that Zuko realized that he was crushing on his best friend’s sister. Hard. 

“Shit,” he muttered. Your story grinded to a halt, exaggerated hand gestures frozen in the air, as you fixed him with a questioning look. 

“Did you say something?”

“No, no— Just- it was nothing. Keep going,” he gave an encouraging smile and nodded for you to continue, which you happily obliged. 

“So, anyways, that was how my lab partner asking a question led to us setting our entire experiment on fire,” you finished with a chuckle. You hit your hands against the table a few times then stood up. “Thank you for this Zuko, really. I wish we could just stay here talking, but I’m not getting paid to do nothing. I gotta get back to work.” 

You waited for a response, but the faraway look in his eyes once again signalled that he wasn’t paying attention. You sighed and snapped your fingers in front of his face, and that seemed to get him out of his stupor. “Hello? Earth to Zuko? 

He blinked a couple times and you let your hand fall to the table, concern flickering across your face for a second. “Sorry! Just.. thinking.” 

“About what?” 

“Classes,” he blurted after a too-long pause. 

You could tell that he was hiding something — throughout your time spent together, you had picked up on how he would always pick at the skin on his right thumb whenever he was nervous — but you didn’t want to push him. 

“I take offense to that, Zuko. You think that your classes are more important than my very entertaining story about my chem lab, I’m just- I’m heartbroken,” you snickered. “I was just telling you that I enjoyed this, and I really appreciate the break, but I actually have to get back to what I’m being paid to do.”

“Right! I, uh- have to get to those.. classes I was talking about.” He laughed nervously and stood up as well, and the two of you bumped heads as you both reached for the tea tray in the middle. 

You let out an exasperated laugh and backed up, rubbing the heel of your hand against your forehead. “Zuko, please! This is my job, let me do this, okay?”

He opened his mouth and closed it a few times, looking like a fish out of water, as he stared at you with wide eyes. You nodded expectantly and raised your eyebrows and he was finally able to get something out. “Uh- right.” 

You chuckled as you picked up the tray and set the cups on it as well, but it was more than a touch concerned. “Is.. everything okay?” You asked, casting a glance back at him once you reached the register again. “Because I don’t mean to overstep, but you’ve been acting strange ever since I started talking about chemistry. Do you have a thing against molecules or something?” 

“Oh, no—it’s nothing you did! And I don’t have anything against chemistry,” he laughed. “I just.. I have a lot on my mind.” Zuko paused, letting his words linger in the air and causing more than a few questions to pop up in your head, but he broke the silence before you could ask. “I really enjoyed this, though.”

“Well, if you ever wanna talk about that stuff on your mind, then you know I’m here,” you smiled. “I had a great time too. And honestly, Zuko, you might be the only thing getting me through this week.” 

“Well, I’m happy to be of service,” he said, returning your smile. “Do you need me to pick you up after your shift?”

“That’s so sweet of you, but I can just catch a ride with Jin. She works at the dress shop across the street, and she actually lives pretty close to us!” You saw the slightest glimpse of disappointment flicker through his eyes and you stumbled over your words trying to explain. “It’s not that I don’t enjoy your company! I mean, obviously I do, we just talked for like, three hours— it’s just she offered, and I didn’t want to say no, plus she’s in my bio class, so I thought it would be good to get to know her—”

“Y/N, you don’t have to explain yourself to me,” he interrupted with a light laugh. “I don’t mind. I just wanted to make sure that you weren’t trying to get out of it because you didn’t want to make me feel bad or something. I know I’ve told you a million times, but I really don’t mind. You make my mornings brighter.” 

You averted your gaze with a small smile as you felt your cheeks heat up, and you bounced on the balls of your feet. “Cool. I’ll see you when I get home then?” 

“Yeah. Good luck with the rest of your shift, Y/N. I’m glad I could help with some of your stress.” The two of you exchanged waves and then Zuko was on his way. As soon as he left the shop you deflated and leaned against the counter, shaking your head and muttering to yourself. That man didn’t even know the effect he had on you. 

The rest of your shift went by much, much slower than your time with Zuko, but the conversations the two of you had during your break kept buzzing around in your head. And though things had started picking up with customers coming in for their lunch breaks or for a quick tea stop, making a lot of extra work for you, a small smile stayed on your lips for the rest of the day. And it was all thanks to Zuko.