#i gotta say - writing is hard and doing it in your non-native language is even harder

[ask-the-pioneer]

do you remember your father?? i mean, if you remember having one as a pup

"My other parent...?"

"I don't remember them... him... at all. I'm sorry." She says as if apologizing to herself. "Mom would never talk about him, and I was too young to even understand you need a mate to have pups, or that slugcats form colonies."

Marbles is lost in her thoughts again. You keep asking questions, and it unearths some of her long forgotten memories.

"There was this one time... me, my sibling, and mom, we got to observe a big noodlefly nest. I saw their delicious eggs hanging from the ceiling for the first time. When I asked mom about it, she explained that when two noots pair up, they lay their eggs in safe places so they could hatch. Little baby noodles attach to the parent's tail for safety. «Like slugcats!», she said. So, of course my tiny child mind pressed on. «Do slugpups hatch from eggs? Can I lay an egg? Can I eat egg? Was I a good egg?». Mom put up with my nonsense, I think she found it funny... until my brilliant child brain connected the dots, and asked «if I'm an egg, then who did she make me with». She hesitated, and the brief silence mixed with the look on her face is what seared that moment into my mind. «...With your father, of course. But, he's gone. Let's go get something to eat now. You want a blue fruit? I think we can get some of them down the pipe over there...», Mom blurted out as she took my hand in hers. I followed with «Why?», but she pretended not to hear it. In the end, my mind was quickly distracted from asking any more awkward questions by the promise of a tasty meal. I can't remember any other time my second parent was brought up again..."

[mermaidsirennikita]

following along with your Heated Rivalry re-read. I gotta say, as a non-Russian whose first language is Russian, this author somehow made Ilya's accent believable and somehow sexy (????) on the page. Believe me, I have never found awkward sentence construction and my own accent attractive before this book. never experienced that emotion!!

Yes!!!!

You know, as someone who does not speak any Russian, I think that is totally an uphill battle for authors who want to write Russian-speaking characters--because while I think the Russian accent has become very sexualized in romance (to like, a fetishistic degree, and I say this as someone who loves IAD, wherein half the heroes, including God's favorite idiot Lothaire, are Eastern European and that is! Sometimes! A lot!) a lot of English-speaking audiences in particular are also very familiar with like.. The caricature of the accent and sentence structure when you're speaking English as a native Russian speaker. (English is such a rough fucking language to learn, my sincere sympathies to all that have to do that mental math.) Like, the Ivan Drago (not played by a native Russian speaker, I think) "I must break you/if he dies, he dies" thing, or all the Cold War villains in American war movies. Which Heated Rivalry references, sorta--Ilya mentions feeling like he sounds like a bad movie villain when he speaks English.

Imo, what makes Ilya seem sexy even with all that is that a) he comes off as extremely confident and just totally himself (the fact that he's introduced going "MMMM HAT TRICK? Maybe keep it for the end?" is soooooooo sexy) b) then you get to his POV where you realize his accent/ESL status is a actually huge insecurity for him, which is vulnerable and endears him to the reader even more c) THEN as Shane falls hard, you see that Shane actually is super turned on by the accent and thinks it's beautiful, and even wants to start learning Russian as a way to connect with him.

One of my favorite things about the book is also the thing where, when Ilya is really emotional or overwrought during ~encounters~ with Shane he just can't come up with words in English. It's one of those hints at what he's actually feeling. Like the first BJ scene, where Shane is a total babe in the woods and Ilya tells him to stop, he like... can't properly describe what he's feeling both because I think he's so turned on that his brain can't do the translations... and because he's already so into Shane? That his brain can't handle those feelings and as a protective thing isn't giving him the words to say it. But later, when they're sexting, he still can't grab the words for like "your freckles are breathtaking", because again, he's very overcome, but he comes up with a way to say it anyway lol.

It's just really well done, as is like... most of the stuff in this book, imo.

[southernwolf16]

I'm not a native English speaker, but English is taught in our schools as a second language (or third if you have a regional language. I'm not really sure if regional languages are taught in schools, but I digress.). And I agree that there may be a tendency for non-native speakers to flex their skills by peppering their writing/speech with English idioms. With this, we end up washing in each other's bathwater, as mikkeneko put it. It'd be interesting to find new ways of expressing things.

So may I offer some idioms from my country:

Pagputi ng uwak, pag itim ng tagak ("Once the crow turns white, once the heron turns black"). Meaning, something that's impossible/will never happen. Probably what you'll be told if you say you'll win the lottery when you've never placed any bets.

Suntok sa buwan ("Punch at the moon" or "Punch the moon") means something has low chances of succeeding. You asked your boss for a raise despite getting hired only a year ago. That's punching the moon, Dude.

Tinimbang ka ngunit kulang ("You were weighed but found lacking" (or wanting, to wax poetic)) is just saying something or someone is inadequate.

Pinagbiyak na bunga ("Split fruit") . Can apply to people who look the same or exactly the same. Variations include Pinagbiyak na buko ("Split coconut") and the less polite Pinagbiyak na arinola ("Split chamber pot"). "You and your Ma look like split fruit," something like that. Or, "You guys sure you ain't related? Cuz you're like a split chamber pot if you ask me."

Magsunog ng kilay ("To burn eyebrows") means to study hard. You gotta burn your eyebrows if you wanna graduate with honors.

Tengang kawali ("Frying pan ear" or "Wok ear". Why not tengang kaldero ("Pot ear") instead? I don't know.) means turning a deaf ear. You go frying pan ear whenever your doctor starts lecturing on the benefits of removing potato chips from your diet.

Para kang karinderyang bukas sa lahat ("You're like an eatery open to all/everybody") is not an idiom but actually an iconic line from an old movie. I feel this should be an idiom. A roundabout way to call your romantic nemesis a whore or a slut. Feel free to use to confuse people. Ex. "Yeah, you acting dainty and all that doesn't change the fact you're (like) an eatery open to everybody."

I'm not sure how to translate "Sala sa init, sala sa lamig" to English. It basically means doing one thing and even its opposite to no effect. It's like saying you've done everything but it's still not enough or nothing's working.

Stage 1: using your native language's idioms in English out of habit/lack of knowledge

Stage 2: using English idioms as much as you can to prove that you're good at English

Stage 3: using your native language's idioms in English because they fuck actually

[lavenoon]

Hey! Bilingual with English as the second language high five! :D I just wanted to say, omg I know what you mean! Like, I can still read stuff in Spanish without it feeling weird if it was by a known classic author from Latin America or Spain, but it's hard to get into more recent stuff and god I feel so clumsy trying to write fiction in Spanish! It's such a weird feeling where you know good stuff can exist in your language but kind of prefering English because that's where your main entertainment is most of the time. And the struggle of always double checking something that sounds right to you but then you realize something is off and you gotta go google it to make sure you’re not gonna raise any eyebrows when you post it. But it’s very interesting as well, how we interpret everything based on our own languages! How we can apply our native phrases to situations that take place in other languages! (Sorry for rambling, my area of study just has to do a lot with the study of the structure and evolution of languages so this stuff is super inter to me dfgjfhfdgdshg)

DON'T BE SORRY I AM SHAKING YOUR HAND SO HARD

This quote by Yiyun Li, I feel it so hard:

It is hard to feel in an adopted language, yet it is impossible in my native language.

I feel like with classic works there's still a certain distance, but with contemporary anything? It's so close, it feels too close, too vulnerable to even try to express yourself and to such a degree that sometimes it's unthinkable that other people can

I sometimes just talk (or, well, write) anything that at some point, I just translated for myself without checking anything official, and the confusion I get in return makes me actually look things up :|

And the interpretations too!! Like, super clumsy/ blunt example, but bread. In the states, it's the ultra soft white bread ppl usually go for and talk about, meanwhile here we call it toast bread bc that's the only thing it's good for /hj /lh. All the jokes about the crust of german bread being capable of killing someone have a grain of truth <3

But I just. I just love thinking about languages like it's all so so fascinating to me, like I mentioned before I love puns, n part of the reason is just that how language works just so so cool! How often puns aren't translatable because of missing cultural context, and how people still try - I love it so so much!

I wish I'd have learned more languages - I learned Spanish for a year and a half in middle school, and tried my hand at Dutch while I was living in the Netherlands, and I did get my latinum certificate in middle school too, which makes reading romance languages at least somewhat possible. But besides English I'm not fluent in any other non German language, and it's a shame, because there's just so much cultural context hidden behind languages!

[jockrightsnow]

omg I would love to hear you talk more about your tags on that last post—how you research syntax/speech patterns for non-native English speakers’ dialogue. this is something I struggle with a lot in writing fic (esp writing Russian players!) and I’d love some advice on how to get better at it.

god this got long! i just care about this! i will put under a cut for the 99% who will be like u little pedantic bitch.

so my answer is probably not AS helpful for Russian players because i have not written at any length with Russian characters and their language is SO different, so i find it is trickier! but the process is likely the same. i am not an expert at this by any means (only know/have taught spanish <--> english), but i do think it gives you more believable voices and also tends to help you understand the perspective. some people are better at english than others! some are less good! some have been in english classes for a while, some haven’t! there’s variation! you don’t have to do this to write well, but i think about it.

some things i think about:

1. sentence structure/syntax--more than vocabulary, sentence structure is the thing that gives most english language learners trouble and tends to give them away. in order to figure out common mistakes along these lines, it is helpful to look up how sentences are typically structured in someone’s native language. very often, people learning english will rely on those structures. this is actually why swedish is very easy to learn for english speakers--the sentence structure is most often subj, verb, object. but there are tricks: in complex declarative sentences, the verb will always be second, even if there is an adverb or object in the first position instead of the subject, in sentences with subordinate clauses, the independent clause inverts verb and subject. stuff like that does tend to give a sentence a different feel, and it absolutely very commonly almost-always sticks with someone. it’s foundational to how people construct their thoughts, it can be hard to change.

2. pronunciation--i don’t love to see heavy dialect written phonetically and i think many people don’t, but there are ways to consider it and certain ways to write it well. certain languages have different stresses or tone ranges or pitches, which can give off a certain Vibe if you’re used to english, which is on the more expressive end of the scale in tone and pitch (obviously i don’t think that’s better, but it is different and it does affect how people hear a speaker’s voice). certain sounds straight-up do not exist in other languages, certain letters are always pronounced a different way. it leads to predictable mispronunciation. for this, resources like this are very interesting.

3. actual cultural language differences! this is in part about what turns of phrase are common, what’s the cultural (or often, can be regional) “cat who got the cream”-type idioms, what is colloquial that you don’t realize is colloquial, etc, but it can also be about how you talk about concepts on a larger scale. 

the recent sidney crosby engaged fiasco is a good example of this--in russian, “girlfriend/boyfriend” has a very casual connotation, so for longer-term relationships, a russian person might say “fiancee” instead. there are certain languages where you talk about love using different words if a relationship is more casual. these are fun, i think, because i do think that kind of thing can be meaningful. 

there was some book or study i read about how maybe the way we learn language impacts how we think. i think parts of it were debunked (eg not having a word for something like ‘crush’ doesn’t mean you don’t feel it, that’s silly), but parts of it are certainly true, right? like, if you have a different way of talking about spatial awareness or time, your ability to translate those concepts will be affected because your thoughts are often structured along those lines. 

4. vocabulary--less important than you’d think, but still interesting to think about what words someone would have learned. i expect hockey players to know virtually every hockey-related word in english, and even in the KHL, there is some coaching done in english because plenty of non-russian players play there and never learn the language (it is very hard). pretty much everywhere, you’re going to know the english words for many hockey-related terms. but you might not know other complex words, because you might not ever have a reason to or a context where you would’ve learned it or been corrected on it.

i often have to examine or cross-examine spanish speakers, and you actually don’t want to correct every single thing they say--you only want to correct things which might lead to a misunderstanding, because you don’t want to seem pedantic to a judge or condescending to a witness. 

this is also true in a lot of social settings. so i do see some things which tend to go uncorrected because they don’t lead to any wrongness. for example, videoS plural in Swedish is video klipp. it’s the same, it’s really the same. but i notice sometimes that plural S is dropped by Swedish speakers or a word like “klipp” that’s so similar in meaning and context to the english word will come it. there’s one video where petey says ‘eller’ instead of ‘or’--it’s close, it’s a word that doesn’t matter, you wouldn’t correct it, it’s normal, you get the point. there are plenty of words that are so similar they might just have a different inflection, or which are entirely the same in different languages. these will not get corrected in daily conversation for the most part.

but there are also false cognates which you DO need to correct (eg in spanish embarazada = pregnant, i do need to correct it every single time because it has a huge impact on proceedings if someone’s pregnant) and being aware of those is also helpful! 

there are also some crutch words which differ from person to person (this is also true for native english speakers). when people use those and in what way can be important. there are certain things a specific person gets wrong only when nervous or not thinking or whatever (i personally find the “person realizes they’ve been speaking in a different language while having sex because it was so good” trope. exhausting, to say the least. but it is true that in higher-stress moments, someone might not have the capacity or desire to do internal translation, or might feel frustrated by it.)

i really do think all of this is Very interesting, and mostly my advice on doing it for languages you don’t know is:

1) be thoughtful about stuff, be believable. contrary to what it seems like from this whole dissertation, not every sentence needs to have errors in it, especially for people who are Growing/Learning/Actually Very Good at english. don’t be condescending about it. being at an intermediate stage in english learning might make someone choose a simpler sentence that’s still correct. it might lead to an actual relevant misunderstanding or tonal shift. it might not. it might enhance someone’s understanding of a situation! it’s not all about just fucking shit up--it’s a hard thing to learn another language. you gotta respect people who are doing it!

2) hear people talk, preferably the people in question if available but doesn’t have to be (for characters i care about less, i will often wholesale map a sentence and then copy the structure exactly. i did this for pasta because i didn’t care about actually figuring out so much about him emotionally--i just listened to his ep of sp*ttin ch*clets as i wrote and copied several sentence structures exactly with my own Content and then, as you may be able to tell, gave up on that venture to movie-montage the rest because i am Lazy.) 

it’s interesting to hear someone talk both in their native language and in english--you get a feel for the tone and pitch differences, and also i love to see native language interviews because i tend to think they’re more reflective of someone���s actual thought processes when they’re not trying to come up with words or modifying their sentences to be simpler. petey’s swedish interviews, for ex, are far more reflective and eloquent and funny. but again, he is getting better very quickly, in part because swedish and english are more similar than they appear. progress is often slower for russians, because there’s a lot more ground between the two languages and a whole diff alphabet and also strong cultural affinity to where a good number of russians living in america almost exclusively hang out with other russians living in america. (see ex alex ovechkin, nikita zadorov--both have very russian-heavy social circles if Instant Gram is to be believed)

3) actually look up stuff like “common english mistakes for [x group]”--there are plenty of good language learning resources which will show you the mistakes people tend to make, the pronunciation errors, things like that. these are invaluable.

4) google translate stuff if you’re going to have a touching language-teaching moment. once read something where someone was contemplating how to say something, which they wouldn’t have done in reality, because how you say it was Exactly the same in the person’s native language. i also think it’s fun to read google-translated articles and see which things jump out at me as Weirdly translated, because those are often things which are going to be different! but that’s not gospel, it’s something you can look into. sometimes google translate is just bad.

[sanstropfremir]

please let me join the dance conversation since it's the form of art i am actually the most interested in. i've been dancing as a kid for 6 years, and i don't mean to say that that gave me any type of authority in the domain, but it did leave me with the slight ability to recognize a good performance (or whatever makes a good performance to me, personally) and a great appreciation for valueing dancing as acting, like you said. too often i've seen dance ranking videos from actual life-long dancers who value technical skill above anything else. even if they take into consideration the facial expressions, it doesn't hold much weight and that always lowkey pissed me off. because when i am watching a performance, i care way more about the emotional delivery rather than the technical one. of course, this is not to disregard skill, because emotion without skill just ends up messy. good enough to appreciate as a form of authentic self-expression, but still messy, and mess won't make you a good dancer.

i've really enjoyed seeing you say dancing and acting have a mutual component since i've always felt that way too but never knew how to put it in words. two groups that come in mind when thinking about this are blackpink and itzy, i have no idea how familiar you are with them so i'm sorry if the following come across as foreign to you. but i gotta say, regarding bp, i think there's always been discourse over lisa vs rose as the best dancer. technically, everybody knows lisa is miles ahead, and i have to say she has decent stage presence and some pretty nice facial expressions too (taking into consideration how limited bp's concepts have been so far). rose, on the other hand, has a certain style that appeals to a specific audience (which i am not a part of, her lack of body control is so irritating sometimes) but i can see why some would find her charming. i would say her stage presence is decent too, but i can't help but choose lisa over her, and not just because i'm biased. but because in order to be a true dancer, you need the right balance between technique and emotion that gives your performance that star-value and appeal. and let's be real, kpop is really lacking in that "true dancer" department.

another dancing discourse that goes on is in the itzy fandom, where fans are pitting yeji and chaeryeong against each other. their techniques are quite different but they are each very good in their respective style. now, i've seen people call yeji the better "idol dancer" since she has better developed facial expressions, and chaeryeong the better "overall dancer" since people value her technique more. and i'm just like, no. emotion makes or breaks a dancer. everyone can learn technique, but emotion is hard to fake, and when you do, the non-authenticity is very much obvious.

that's why i love san as a dancer. he might not be the most technically skilled, but he is skilled enough to hold his own. and his way of living in the performance, of just letting every feel of the song wash over him and show the audience 110% and more - nothing compares to that, no amount of technicality. stage presence is something you just have, and no matter how much you train for it, you will pale in comparison to a natural.

wow, this is really long so thank you if you take the time to read it all and respond. english is not my first language and sometimes i'm having trouble finding the right words to get my point across exactly how i think of it in my mind, so i hope the message is delivered accurately, haha :D also, i must add i love the way you talk, your speech has a flow and a uniqueness to it you don't find everyday. and we love a developed vocabulary<3 may i ask how old you are?

thank you for the compliment, thats very sweet of you! english is my native language and i have spent just as much time, if not longer doing academics as i have doing performance work so at this point ive developed a very specific style. there’s a joke that theatre design is 90% communication and only 10% design, and it’s not wrong. it helps that i like to talk and my brain works very fast sometimes.

im glad you took the time to write this out! and don't apologize for your english, it's excellent and very clear. you are correct i know very little about blackpink and itzy but i would likely agree with you, dance is equal parts emotion and technique and that is my preference in idols as well. but i don’t think that the kpop industry needs to have ‘true’ dancers, though. yes it is fun to watch those who are technically and charismatically gifted in dance, it is only a portion of the experience that they market. also i think we lose a bit of objectivity in kpop because all idols are required to dance, but i dont think ive seen one recently that's a legitimately bad dancer. even the ‘worst’ dancers that i can think of are still leagues better than the average person on the street, but we see them as ‘bad’ because they work directly alongside peers who are legitimately gifted and have a passion for dance as a form. 

it's interesting to hear you say that everyone can learn technique but emotion is hard to fake, because i hear a lot of dancers say that. i think this comes from a misunderstanding of what exactly acting is and how it works. i would argue that a statement closer to the sentiment that you (and many others) are trying to get is ‘not everyone can do both at the same time.’ the average person is no more predisposed to acting then they are to dance, because acting is a skill that can be taught and exercised in the same way dance can. sure, there are people that have a higher latent ability, but if you put in the work, you can learn. why do you think there are acting classes and schools and conservatories? you can get a doctorate in acting if you really want to. the thing about acting is that in order to be good at it, you have to both understand and be able to implement the correct postures for mimicking human emotion. this is an insanely complex task when you get down to the brass tacks of it. just think about your face and body posture for a moment. why are you sitting/standing in that particular way? why is your face in that particular expression? what do you think your posture is saying to someone who is observing you? how would you change it if you wanted the person to start a conversation with you? if you wanted them to leave you alone? 

there’s also a general assumption that acting comes from a place of genuine or authentic emotion, and this is the fault of modern ‘method’ film acting. i have a very long thesis about how much i hate method acting and i can make a separate post about that if people are curious. but suffice to say, acting very rarely comes from a ‘genuine’ place. it may be informed from a genuine place, but by nature it is not real. thats what makes it acting. and i think dancers seem to be under the impression that showing emotion while dancing has to come from the dancer personally feeling those emotions, when thats not the case at all. this criminal fancam is a perfect example of exactly how good taemin is at putting on a character for a performance. you can very clearly see him drop character after the main camera cuts, and pretty much any concert footage shows this as well.

now, being able to do both a complex system of physical movements with your body and also control the minute details and timing in your facial muscles and posture? thats pretty fuckin hard. not a lot of people can do that, it takes just as much practice as learning technique does, just not in the way that people might think. but it is possible.

[eulchu]

Fic Interview Tag

thank you @edge0fmydesiree for tagging me! many hugs 🥰

Name: ro <3

Fandoms I write for: i used to be a writer for the skamverse fandom (mostly skam france). after a long long break from writing i've been trying to get back to it through thiam so we'll see how it goes!

Two-shot: not sure of what this means but if it's asking me my favorite two-shot, then i've only ever written one. it's called boys that marry and it's not even a proper two-shot, more like a one shot with a little bonus scene.

it's one of my favorite works i've ever written and it did pretty well! one of my best ones actually.

Most popular multi-chapter: oh god haha according to my ao3 stats it's in case you ever forget. i'm... not very proud of this one. it was my first try at plotting/writing anything that went over 500 words (beat that number with a whooping 7k! first try woo!) and it's rusty at best. i've changed my writing style a lot since that first fic, but hey if it weren't for it i wouldn't have gotten as far as i did. so i gotta give it some credit. we'll call it good practice for what came after :)

Actual worst part of writing: is saying writing too cliché...?

i'll have to go with the descriptions. as a non native english it's, i wouldn't say hard because i know my words, but it can be very mentally draining. the hardest work goes to the description of certain actions/settings and it takes a LOT out of you if english isn't your first language. one of the reasons why i don't write as much anymore is because it can get pretty damn tiring.

How you choose your titles: pft i throw a coin up in the air and hope for the best.

no i guess song lyrics mostly. sometimes i go for story concepts but only when i have a very clear image of where i'm going with it.

Do you outline: yes! yes yes yes yes. i didn't use to and i think that was my biggest flaw. i abandoned so many wips because i'd just end up losing the storyline.

my note app is full of little annotations for the plot/conversations/scene cuts. i usually outline how many scenes i want to write with a vague plot of what's supposed to happen in each one + some lines from the characters. outlining is fun!

Ideas I probably won’t get to, but it would be nice: @winterhalters and i have this horrible habit where we go off on thiam tangents and come up with amazing plots that we'll never touch. i have one in my mind that i don't know if i'm allowed to say (because i'm gonna bully her into writing it).

i came up with a canon divergent au where everything's the same except theo was never taken and him and liam are best friends from devenford. honestly it's kind of a silly idea but in my mind theo has this Reputation and when stiles hears scott bit theo raeken's boy he freaks out. scary dog privileges for the win 😌

Best writing habits: quick thinking? does that count? plus vivid imagination! it's easy for me to come up with situations/conversations because i get deeply invested in the story. it feels like reminiscing a dream that i had instead of an actual writing session.

Spicy opinions: well i don't know what this means either! if it means controversial opinions then here have this: friends to lovers is better and the best part of enemies to lovers is when they're slowly learning to trust each other as friends. love is nothing without trust.

if it means sexy opinions. making kissing and sex scenes entertaining is a lot harder than it looks. there. (don't let my ao3 stats fool you just because i've written immense amounts of porn it doesn't mean i didn't lose braincells in the battlefield)

tagging my incredibly talented friends @winterhalters @sondergf @lifeisevak <3 flex your writing skills bbys

[star-wars-scribbles-ff]

Where I Belong | Chapter 1 | Prologue

Story Summary: The only family she’d ever known gave her a name; back when she belonged to something. But when that family is lost, she leaves it all behind. When destiny drops her in the last place she ever wanted to be, she has to earn back the trust and respect of the Republic that left her to die. Caught between the Jedi and the Grand Army of the Republic, she'll discover where she belongs.

Fandom: Star Wars | Galaxy Far Far Away

Rating: T+

Story Genre/Warnings: action/adventure/found family | war violence, death, torture, discrimination, angst, fluff, [more]

Words: 13,623

Disclaimer: Majority of properties within this fanfic are owned by Lucasfilm/Disney. My OCs, as well as a few other things within this fanfic are of my own creation. Republic Cog header made by me :) 

CHAPTER NOTE: Haha I know you’re having a hard time getting past that terrifying word count above if you haven’t already said ‘to hell with this’ and kept scrolling, but I like writing long chapters because I don’t update as frequently as other writers so I wanna provide some good stuff to keep readers busy while they wait... Hope that’s alright? (All chapters aren’t that long; usually around 5k. Don’t worry there’s just a lot to unpack in this first chapter) If you’re still here I hope you enjoy :)

Masterlist | Next Chapter | Chapter Art & Map | Echo & Trauma Squad

“We’ve entered the atmosphere, Sergeant. You boys are clear to get ready.”

Pressing the button connected to the cockpit via a control panel on the wall, CC-4811, Sergeant Mash, went to respond. 

“Roger that. Drop us 3 klicks south of RV point Axe.”

“Will do, sir.” 

Lowering his hand, Mash turned, gaze finding his team doing a last minute equipment check before their coming drop into hostile territory. It was helmets on at 100 klicks, they still had another minute or so. 

“Alright, listen up.” Mash held up a datapad, tapping briskly on the screen, a holo of the location of interest shown up into the semi-lit shuttle bay. “Intelligence spotted a Separatist fleet five rotations ago within the Duluur sector. They lingered for one standard Coruscant rotation above Devaron before departing from this sector. It is unknown whether hostiles have taken RV point Bullseye.”

“Why couldn’t we get the debrief on Kamino?” CC-4999, or as they called him, Nines muttered. The squad member was finishing the assemblement of his Deece with a sniper attachment.

“This is a priority mission,” Mash continued. “Retaking Bullseye needs to be done quickly, quietly, and efficiently. Minimal destruction which means no rockets, detonators, or explosives of any kind, hence our silent entry - sorry Hawk.” The smidgen of sympathy in Mash’s voice for their demolition man causes CC-4998, Hawk, to give a small jut of his chin and a twitch of a smile. “The Republic seeks to turn this Temple into a staging ground for Surveillance Operations. Keeping Bullseye standing is top priority; sweep the grounds and wipe out any Separatist forces that may have taken it; preferably all in under a 12 hour window.”

“100 klicks out,” The pilot’s voice came over the shuttle’s com systems.

Shutting off the datapad, Mash tossed it to one of the shuttle seats lining the bay wall before grabbing his helmet. The rest of his squad did the same as they all put their helmets on.

“Didn’t really answer the question, Sarg.” Nines uttered while rolling his shoulders, the action causing the armored plates to clunk against one another.

“Skipper said the Jedi were touchy about it, Nines.” 

The kid was a bit of a hot shot but his skill with a rifle more than made up for the snarky attitude.

“They give us confidential assignments for a reason. They want this done quickly and quietly without word getting out.”

The sniper tipped his trigger and middle finger around in a salute that would have most likely made their training sergeant fume at the lack of maturity before turning towards Hawk.

“Bit strange they revived us so quickly.” CC-4803, Corporal Razor stepped up next to Mash. “From what Skipper told me- most get a couple months before they’re pulled for assignment again.” 

Like the rest of their kind, they were kept in stasis when not on assignment. Infantry weren’t because they dealt with the bulk of the war. 

“Personally I don’t mind - I guess it’s gotta mean we’re doing something right if they keep pulling us for jobs,” Razor added. 

Their advisor on Kamino, Skipper, acted as their go-to man during missions. He’d feed them intel on the ground and organize quick and dirty drops and extractions if the need arose. 

“Trying not to think about it, ner vod (my brother/comprade).” Mash said, the mando’a slipping through his mouth with ease. It wasn’t something other clones knew… More of a perk from their branch of the GAR. If you were lucky, your training sergeant may have taught you the Mandalorian language. The clone flash training made it stick too, so they were fairly fluent. 

Like the rest of their kind, they were kept in stasis when not on assignment. Infantry weren’t because they dealt with the bulk of the war. 

Not long after the Battle of Geonosis, their squad, Echo squad, was formed. It was created in the wake of each of their losses. Mash had lost all his men, his brothers, and so had Razor who had been Sergeant of his own men. Nines and Hawk together lost their Corporal and Sergeant. Higher ups had pushed them all together for a follow up assignment shortly after Geonosis and they had to get to know each other on the ground the hard way. 

Since then they’d done a few jobs here and there. They all had the same training sergeant so while there was a small grimmer of familiarity, they were still strangers to each other. It took some getting used to, but things had since smoothed out. 

“Sounds like this assignment really is priority. For the Jedi at least. Whatever Jedi was occupying the Temple previously was recalled to Coruscant. It didn’t take long for the Separatists to get word of the outpost’s vacancy it seems.”

“I’ll say,” Razor chuckled beneath his helmet before finishing the tie on his rappelling gear. They’d be dropping into the dense jungle soon. “From what I hear, intelligence still has holes in it. Intel is leaked more often than it isn’t, gotta wonder you know?”

Checking the knot of his rappelling gear a final time, Mash hesitated to respond to Razor’s comment. Razor had always been one for the gossip regarding the Republic’s works. Sometimes that curiosity was useful, but more often than not Mash wished his brother were more discreet.

Word had gotten around, but since the Republic were officially handed control of the army, they’d begun making changes. Their branch of the GAR was getting quite the makeover, however whether the changes were doing more harm than good was still up for debate. Clone Advisors was just one change that had been temporary, but had since stuck around. Certain Clone Officers without fieldwork would act as advisors or middlemen to non-Clone Republic Officers, like the Jedi, still getting a handle on how to efficiently induct the different clones into the conflicts. 

It was a surprise to the Clones when the Jedi, the legendary warriors they’d been told of all their lives, didn’t exactly meet textbook expectations.

It wasn’t their place to ponder the Jedi abilities as Military Leaders, but their corner of the GAR was quickly developing opinions, a ship Mash was hesitant to board. 

“You implying its a higher ups problem?” Mash asked.

“Not necessarily,” Razor responded. “Just something to think about is all. Although, I know you prefer not to.” 

He’d known Razor long before they’d been thrown together in a squad. He’d met him several times on the simulation battlefields during training, and he knew him well enough to detect the humor laced through his voice to understand when he was pulling his leg. 

“Stay focused, vod.” Mash muttered, thankful he could hide his own grin as a chuckle from Razor radiated through helmet comms.

“Coming in, we’ll be over the drop zone in 30 seconds.”

The turbulence picked up in the shuttle as they approached their destination and all members of the squad made their way towards the back of the shuttle bay.

Hawk hit the button for the shuttle’s ramp on the wall control panel and soon enough the roar of the ship's engines took over, causing the sound dampeners in their helmets to kick in.

The shuttle trembled as the pilots pulled up on the controls and the ship stalled above an area of jungle which was where their assignment was to begin.

“Go go go,” Mash ushered each of his men out before going himself. One hand on the rappelling line and the other holding his Deece at the ready, Mash kept his eyes on his comrades heading down the 60 or so meter distance passed a layer of fog into the darkness of the Devaronian jungle. 

Large vines as thick as the bay of the shuttle covered the planet as far as Mash could see, even through his helmet display. Data on the planet mentioned the unique flora which they would encounter; the vines breached the landscape like borrowing Rishi eels, knotted and intertwined together creating a blanket covering the terrain. 

Watching as each of his squad hit the ground, Mash followed as they did in stripping themselves of their rappelling gear as it zipped back up into the shuttle.

Switching comm frequencies, Mash looked up to the hovering shuttle around 100 meters about them. 

“We’re clear, pilot.” 

“Roger that sir, have fun down there,” The ramp of the shuttle began to close before it headed off. 

The jungle had fallen quiet once the ship was out of range, and soon enough, the chirping and rustling of native fauna began to grow in the shuttle’s absence. Looking around the terrain, Mash was quick to notice how the ground under the vine canopy was rather barren aside from sparse foliage in the form of smaller vine systems and shrub-like plants. They were going in under the impression that there would be greater amounts of foliage; it would complicate matters for reconnaissance and stealth-based action going forward. 

It was the first bump in the road, but it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Improvisation; its what they trained for in situations like this.

In a series of blinks, Mash pulled up specs on the surrounding landscape, including humidity levels. They were high enough. Readings indicated it had rained recently.

“Start dirtying up the armor. Foliage won’t provide enough cover so we’ll need to-”

An aggravated grunt caused Mash to turn, finding Nines with his hands braced on his lower back as he craned into a stretch, his Deece in the hands of Hawk.

“They changed this di'kutla (useless/stupid) armor again, didn’t they.” He grunted. 

“The Manual outlined the upgrades,” Hawk reminded his brother with a slight tilt of his helmet, only to receive a mild clock on the shoulder plate from Nines as he got his footing back.

“Who the hell has time for that, do I look like I got time for that?”

“Cut the chatter,” The statement came out firm, although the mild distraction of the hostile territory around them softened his words. “This is hostile territory, so let’s shift it,” Mash gestured forward with his Deece. 

“Dirty up.” Razor shrugged, emphasizing on the Sergeant’s first order before popping off in one direction to start camouflaging his armor. 

Mash watched as Nines lingered on their Corporal walking away before he audibly grumbled, going off in a somewhat similar direction with Hawk.

“I long for the day when I can put this armor to actual use.”

“And how would you go about doing that, Nines?” Hawk asked.

“By using it how it was meant to be used- urban warfare, close quarters… actual fire fights. Not writhing around on a dust ball like Geonosis or making mud angels on this heap.”

The comment caused Hawk to openly laugh, something that if Mash was being honest, wasn’t customary of his younger comprade; however he had to admit it pleased him. He’d always been less of a talker than Nines; more hesitant to accept the new squad; whether it was because of the fate of their old one, or maybe who he had ended up with, Mash wasn’t certain. 

“Keep your trash talk on internal comms, Nines.” Razor reiterated the words as if he had done so multiple times already, which he most likely had.

“Trash talk… Kebbur haar haat (try the truth).” Nines grumbled, before throwing a glob of mud onto his thigh plating, coating one leg in the darkly colored mud.

The kid was all talk. As soon as a superior was around he would 180 and they’d be none the wiser.

Another minute passed before the squad’s signature white armor with red and orange accents were covered helmet to boots in Devaronian mud. The humidity would prove troublesome as they’d need to reapply the camouflage again within the hour.

Exchanging a couple of nods with the men, Mash made a final glance exchange with Razor.

“We’re ready,” The Corporal gave him a nod.

“Then let’s move out.”

A couple hours had passed, and the position of Devaron’s two moons had since shifted across the night sky; they could be seen in the distance adjacent to RV point Bullseye’s structure. The thick layer of fog had been ever present since their arrival, and while it didn’t completely inhibit their line of sight, it was keeping them on their toes.

Spotting subtle obstruction on the ground ahead, Mash held up a fist before gesturing for the men to move forward to a position of cover cautiously.

The Sergeant came to a stop at a large vine almost a meter thick. He kept his back to it as Hawk stopped behind him. 

“I’ve got eyes on the South road.” Nines came to a stop a few meters to their 3 o’clock, kneeling down on one leg before resting his rifle over a low vine breaching the ground, leaning in to look through the scope. 

The Temple had four roads that branched out in each direction, the primary Northern and Southern Roads drew an imaginary line through RV point Bullseye while the secondary Western and Eastern roads connected the courtyards and other smaller facilities to the overall structure. 

“It’s called a promenade, not a road.” Razor muttered as he came to a stop beside the sniper, blaster raised and alert as he observed the surrounding area.

“Yeah I know, the HUD said that, but what the hell is the difference- its a road.” Nines grunted. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to hear they’ve updated the HUD’s terminology index on architecture. I can’t think of more vital information to the mission.” The cock of Nines’ helmet only enhanced the sarcasm leaking from his filtered voice as he glanced up at their Corporal. “Looks clear up ahead.”

“No droids?” Mash questioned.

“Doesn’t look like it, Sarg. Zero movement.” Nines responded, gaze back through the scope.

From his crouched position on the ground, Hawk looked up at the Sergeant for a brief moment before glancing towards Razor. 

Going in they’d be simultaneously at an advantage and disadvantage. The enemy had the high ground and not to mention the location in question that needed to be retaken, but the squad had the element of surprise. 

“Alright. Let’s start moving in. Stay sharp and switch to internal comms,” Mash instructed and with a couple of hand gestures, fleshed out their movements going forward.

Like the vigorously tested training exercises on Kamino, the squad began to move in on the target location quickly and quietly. Using the native flora to their cover advantage, the small group made their way up to the Temple road before branching off to the structure’s right side. They’d stay between the Eastern and Southern roads in order to get as close to RV point Bullseye as possible without leaving the cover that the Devaronian vines provided. Once close enough, they could make their way across the courtyard and to the Temple. From there execution of the mission would change. How, was something Mash didn’t know yet.

Loosely following the road’s edge closer and closer to the Temple which was growing up into the sky the further they traveled, Echo Squad finally came to the wall of the courtyard, an area that surrounded the Temple. The wall was just under two meters; a quick scale. 

Stepping up to the wall, Nines lowered his rifle, resting its barrel on the wall before perusing the open and exposed ground ahead. 

“No visuals. All quiet.”

“I’m not liking this,” Razor muttered, tilting his body only slightly towards the Sergeant. “Its sloppy. Even for the droids.”

“Maybe we just came at a bad time,” Nines offered, continuing to scope out the area. “Caf break or… battery recharge- quiet time. What’d droids have these days?” 

“Let’s give it another minute.” Mash decided, craning to look up towards the main Temple structure which was significantly larger than its sibling tower. “We’ll move in if we don’t get-”

“Wait, I’ve got a visual.” 

Mash jerked his head to the right to see where Nines’ scope was aligned, towards the smaller of the two towers. The shutter and chung of metal clanking together in a uniform manner was a sound that had since become familiar to them. 

On Kamino they trained against other clone squads, training staff, and simulation targets. The droids which were now being used by the Separatists weren’t entirely unfamiliar, but it was a somewhat impersonal enemy nonetheless. The droids were designed to overwhelm, something that proved effective against the Republic at Geonosis, especially their branch of the Grand Army of the Republic. 

Part of the reason missions concerning their branch of the GAR were no longer to overlap with Infantry (unless under special circumstances) was because the Jedi thankfully came to their senses on that account. Their branch lost half of their entire force at Geonosis. Their first battle and their kind were cut in half… It unsettled Mash to the point where he preferred to not think about it, but his head constantly reminded him that those nerves wouldn’t help whether he ignored them or not. The Jedi, while they may not have been what they’d expected, were warriors and leaders nonetheless and they’d been taught all their lives that they’d been created to help the Jedi. Things were seemingly off to a rocky start but they’d level out. It seemed they already were, which Mash was thankfully for. He hadn’t worked directly with a Jedi yet, but when the day came he hoped they’d be up to the task of using him and his men to the best of their ability.

The enemy force finally emerged from around the farthest tower, revealing a squad of eight B1 battle droids. The standard, not a problem. However whatever forces may wait within the Temple or around the perimeter was the standing issue. If they had more time, Mash would have ordered a sweep of the perimeter to be safe. But they didn’t have that luxury. Looks like they’d be doing a hard contact entry, sweeping room to room and floor to floor until the entire structure was clear. 

“Well you wanted close quarter combat, ner vod.” Mash finally stated, watching alongside his squad as the droid squad went about their patrol of the Temple grounds. “We’ll eliminate this squad first.”

“Soft entry?” Hawk questioned.

“We’ll have to improvise on that front. Debrief mentioned a security system in the Temple. Nothing the droids can figure out, apparently its more of a force user problem, but with the cams they’ll most likely see us coming. We’ll have to hit quick enough to have the advantage inside.”

“What’d you call that, a medium entry, sir?” Nines chuckled, still zoning in on the droids.

“Call it what you want, Nines.” Mash nodded with minor amusement before giving his rifle one last check just to be safe. 

“I’ve got a second droid squad coming in, 2 o’clock off the Eastern road… Looks like it might be a rotation change.” 

“Watch em, Nines.”

“Roger that Sarg,”

“Razor?” Mash turned his attention to the Corporal. 

They always threw ideas off of each other. While Mash was officially in charge, he preferred to keep the title as loose as possible. Razor used to be Sergeant of his old squad, and was demoted to Corporal when transferred to Echo Squad. While they had differing ways of handling situations, Mash understood the wisdom in getting a second opinion. 

An audible sigh came through the Corporal's helmet as Razor looked up at the structure. 

“No easy way we’re getting in there without almost immediate detection. Without the use of explosives or detonators-” The nod he gave was decisive, his voice level and collected. “Looks like we gotta do this t-”

The fading of clanking metal from the droids was quickly and suddenly overpowered by the rumble of a familiar sound.

Looking up through the vine canopy, the members of Echo Squad are met with the image of a Republic Nu-class Shuttle swooping in over RV point Bullseye.

“No,” Mash muttered. “No no no- what the hell are they doing!?” 

“You get anything over comms? Change of plans?”

“No,” Mash growled through grit teeth before quickly swinging a leg up, getting over the wall before gesturing for the squad to follow.

The uninvited guest had already caught the attention of the two squads of B1s as they all began to open fire on the vessel. The fire would do little against the shuttle’s shields. 

As Echo Squad members quickly finish entering the courtyard, the Attack Shuttle’s ramp lowers and four similarly dressed troopers begin rappelling down to the adjacent courtyard.

“I don’t believe this-” Mash snapped before gesturing for the squad to move out and join the fire fight on the other side of the Temple grounds around fifty meters away. 

“There go our medium entry plans!” Nines laughed over the growing sound of blaster fire as they ran to join the conflict.

“Not the time, kid!” Mash barked. 

As they entered the Eastern courtyard that wrapped around the structure, a couple more droid squads came into view. The other Squad of clones that had arrived were keeping a relatively loose formation as they took out the enemy force, for their kind it looked pretty sloppy; or at least not Echo Squad’s style.

Mash knew his squad was on him, and he didn’t have to remind them to keep it tight. They’d cover the enemy force closer to Bullseye and leave the straggling droids to the newcomers. 

B1 Battle Droids had a rather standard targeting system; as they clunked along on a relatively straight path, they’d fire their blasters off in even intervals. They were a fairly easy nuisance to deal with on assignment. When high grades of Separatist droids joined in, and their numbers increased tenfold, that’s when their years of training met their match.

As they made their way across the courtyard and towards danger, Mash got that liquid feeling in his lower body, like his legs would give out and he felt ten times heavier running towards the firefight, he knew that feeling would always disappear as quickly as it appeared. As his training Sergeant would say: It’s your forebrain shutting down; a fear reflex. He wondered if his brothers ever felt the same; that trickle of fear. He didn’t doubt it. You’d have to be a fool not to to some extent.

As soon as their presence was made known, and the droids turned their attention to the second squad of troopers approaching, the weight was lifted from Mash’s body and the noise in his head quieted. Time to get to work.

The sound of blaster bolts firing off rang loudly into the silence of the surrounding jungle. Picking off the droids one by one, Echo Squad drew further out into the courtyard, near where the newly arrived squad was. 

The last couple shots came from Hawk as he took down a few straggling droids before the men exchanged a couple of quick glances. The spike of adrenaline that one got during the fight was almost euphoric; relaxing when a brief moment of silence came during the action. 

That feeling was cut short when Mash and Razor turned in time to see the Sergeant of the other clone squad about to throw a detonator at another squad of droids approaching from the Eastern road, most likely coming back from another patrol.

“Hey!” Mash barked before running over. 

By the time the Echo Squad leader was within fifty yards of the other squad, the small explosive had detonated; dirt, droid parts, and some rubble from the road shot up into the air. 

“Haar'chak (Damn it).” Hawk muttered, exchanging a brief look with Nines before going after their Sergeant. 

“Are you insane?!” 

The shouting caused the members of the other squad to draw their attention back, and eventually the Sergeant turned as well. 

“Who the hell are these guys-” The Sergeant muttered, patting the shoulder plate of one of his men before continuing towards Mash. “Can I help point you back in the direction of whatever mud pit you all crawled out of?” The sarcasm was strong in his voice as he looked over Echo Squad. To be fair they were all completely caked in the Devaronian mud.

“Sarg-” Razor tried to subtly stop his brother from getting physical but Mash was already close enough to shove the other Sergeant backwards a couple of steps. “Udesii, vod! (take it easy/calm down, brother!)” 

“Under what authority do you think you can just waltz in here an-”

“Authority? Listen here vod,” The armored clone points towards Mash. “I’ve got orders to secure that building back there, so unless you’re here to sit back and run recon while covered in that osik (feces/dung) I suggest you back off and let us take it from here.” The other Sergeant seemed all too eager to start smack talking and it took what was left of Mash’s self control to not get any more physical. Ten years of systematic, precise, orderly training, and as soon as the Republic is given control of the military, everyone seemingly falls off the rails. 

“I don’t know what kind of information you’re running on, but our orders came directly from the Jedi Temple that we were to scout this location for enemy activity and retake the building with minimal sustained damage.” Mash made clear. “It is obvious that you did not receive the debrief.” 

Taking a step forward, the other Sergeant came within inches of the Echo leader’s helmet with his own.

“What are you implying?”

 “Read between the lines.”

“I’m warning you now, vod. Ne shab'rud'niÖ (Don’t mess with me).”

“Bax, come on, vod.”

Razor inched his way between the two Sergeants as the other squad member that had spoken up tried to coax his Sergeant into taking a step backwards. 

“Regardless of who should or shouldn't be here- the objective appears to be the same.” Razor made clear, his hand residing on the breastplate of his Sergeant, his other held out towards the other Sergeant who was being held back by who now appeared to be their squad’s Corporal. The tension could've been cut with a vibroblade in that moment.

Razor knew Mash preferred to work alone; at least he preferred their squad working alone. If it was one thing the man hated, it was the liability of variables he couldn’t control - other people potentially ruining his way of doing things. Whether it be Infantry clones, Jedi, or other squads like them, Mash preferred the assignments where it was just their squad, and their squad alone. 

“Taking Bullseye is priority.”

“Taking what?” The other Sergeant muttered. His posture had since relaxed but it was clear he was ticked off and eager to get a move on. 

“RV point Bullseye.” Mash said. It sounded like he spit the statement out through his teeth. 

“...You mean the Tower?” The other Sergeant deadpanned. 

Silence followed and Razor exchanged a small glance with the other presumed Corporal. 

“I’m Corporal fifty-one-thirty-four… 34.” The Corporal stated, lowering his hand from his Sergeant’s breastplate. It was common to just use the last two numbers. Your name was almost always kept within your squad group, and maybe with your training sergeant unless you were comfortable sharing it. It wasn’t the time to exchange such personal details even if the atmosphere wasn’t so tense. “This is fifty-seven-eighty-seven and five-two-sixty.” The Corporal, 34, pointed to the other two men part of their squad. 

The one identified as 87 appeared to be their tech man, while 60 appeared to be carrying the demolitions ordnance. 

34 gave his Sergeant the smallest nudge with his shoulder and the man seemed to begrudgingly think over his options before his shoulders lowered a fraction.

“Sergeant five-one-eighteen.” He muttered.

“I’m Corporal four-eight-oh-three,” Razor gestured to himself. “This is forty-nine-ninety-eight and forty-nine-ninety-nine.” Pointing the two out, Razor watched as Nines gave the other squad a jut of his helmet, a sort of nod, and Hawk dipped his helmet down in acknowledgement.

Razor only had to turn a fraction towards Mash for his brother to know he would have to speak up.

“Sergeant four-eight-eleven.” His voice was tight, the remnants of his frustration still hung heavy.

“Now that that’s out of the way, would you all mind moving so we can get to work?” Sergeant 18 gestures somewhat dramatically with his blaster in one hand and a cock of his helmet, swinging the barrel of the blaster with smooth precision to the side.

The silence of the courtyard was growing increasingly harder to ignore, no doubt more droids were on their way from within the Temple walls.

“Sarg-” Corporal 34 started to speak

“We got here first, I suggest you step aside and let us take it from here.” 

“I’ve been dragging my men through the mud of that jungle for five hours- We were on the ground working this mission before you dropped in on the front karking door-”

“I don't give a mott's backside if you’ve been stuck here for weeks I-!”

“Sir, I’ve got movement, south entrance,” The statement came from Nines, currently training his rifle on two squads of droids, including some SBDs (super battle droids), exiting the main doors of the Temple. 

Both Sergeants having turned to see the incoming hostiles seemed to quickly come to the realization that neither of them were getting what they wanted.

Sergeant 18 shot his Corporal a look before cursing under his breath and 34 nodded before he turned more so to face Echo Squad.

“Your call. You were here first.”

Mash clenched his jaw from under his helmet. He didn’t need this but… He couldn’t have it completely his way. 

“Can you manage taking the East Tower without blowing it up?” Mash questioned.

The reluctance was evident in Sergeant 18’s movement as he turned towards Mash and finally nodded.

“...We’ll clear it.”

Exchanging a glance with Razor, Mash returned the nod to the other Sergeant.

“We’ll take the main structure; meet up in the communications center after the Temple has been cleared. If you need to, use comm frequency 0374.”

“Roger that,” Sergeant 18 quickly signals to his men and they take off hastily towards the oncoming droids.

With a shake of his head, Mash turned and watched for a brief moment as the squad of newcomers ran off and began blasting away at the droid force.

Nines watched their Sergeant for a moment before exchanging a glance with Hawk before clearing his throat.

“We uh- clear to move in, sir? I’d rather not let them have all the fun.”

Breathing out through his nose, the Echo Squad Sergeant gave his brother a nod before gesturing for them to get moving. 

“Keep it tight.”

“You say that like we’re gonna run off, Sarg.” Hawk chuckled, falling into a loose formation at Nines’ side with Mash and Razor behind them. 

“Just don’t follow in that crack squad’s shoes, please.”

“Looks like their Sergeant is just a little…” Razor trails off, swallowing the breathy laugh he almost let loose.

“Dini'la? (insane?)” Nines tried.

He managed to earn a few chuckles with the comment. 

“Let’s just focus on the task at hand, vod.” Mash responded, voice a little more at ease. Razor had a tendency to keep the atmosphere as light as he was able, especially in instances like this when tension was high. Nines had his own way of trying to do the same, which usually consisted of poking fun at someone or something. “Same rules apply; no explosives. This building needs to be standing by the time we clear it.”

“Copy that, Sarg.” The humor was laced through Hawk’s voice. 

He was the most mellow one of the squad. Mash didn’t really consider himself to have a great sense of humor, but somewhere along the line, Mash subconsciously decided to always play with Hawk and pretend like he was the trigger “explosive” happy one of the bunch. Hawk played along with it. 

“I call entry,” Nines called out, causing Razor to chuckle before moving up closer to the younger clone to cover his six. 

Despite their mismatched squad, formulated as a result of the losses they’d each received, they were quickly becoming a working unit. If it was one thing Mash knew they all took away from their training, it was the constant snippets of advice and encouragement they’d received from their training sergeant. Traat'aliit gar besbe'trayc (The squad is your weapon). Remember that; you are nothing on your own, and everything together. 

“I’ve got movement in the dining hall,” Nines muttered over comms. They were using their internal comm frequency so the droids wouldn’t overhear anything. The other squad hadn’t initiated contact with them on the channel yet, but perhaps that was a blessing in disguise. 

“Tion'solet? (how many?)” Hawk spoke up.

“I said I’ve got movement not a five course meal worth of information ready for you,” Nines shot back.

Hawk just shook his head at his brother’s humor. 

Leaning around the corner, Nines’ HUD marked the number of droids in the room within a beat and he quickly retreated around the corner where the squad was.

“Twelve including a B1 Sergeant and five SBDs. We can use the EMPs right?” Nines questioned quietly to Mash, despite knowing they were on internal comms. 

Electromagnetic Pulse Grenades… Debrief didn’t specifically outline that they couldn’t use them. 

Mash audibly sighed before lowering his rifle a fraction. 

“This is the dining hall. If we end up stuck here a couple days I’d rather raid the pantry than eat ration bars.”

“That’s your argument for not going in with blasters?” Razor questioned, cocking his helmet to the side. 

“.... Yes.” 

“Just this one room.” Mash grunted while shaking his head. “We need to hold onto that ordnance.”

Giving a jut of his helmet, Nines lifted a hand towards Hawk who had the EMP grenades on hand. 

Tossing one to his brother, Nines made his way around the corner and activated the grenade before rolling it into the large room.

A few beats passed before the shuffling and clunking of the metal droids moving about became prominent. 

“What’s that?” The high pitched, animatronic voice was becoming reluctantly familiar before the grenade went off, cutting off any chatter from the hostiles. 

Echo Squad swarmed into the space with deadly precision, shooting down the few remaining droids that were outside the EMPs blast radius before covering the bases of the room.

“Clear!”

“Clear,”

The room was relatively small for a dining facility. Then again, the debrief did reveal this Temple was rarely occupied by more than a few Jedi at a time. 

“What’s left?” Hawk looked towards the Corporal.

“Just Communications; top floor.” Razor turned towards Mash who nodded in agreement.

“While I’m not complaining, the fact that the crack squad hasn’t made contact is a little unsettling,” Nines spoke up once more, taking a seat on one of the tables, slinging his rifle over his lap. 

“Nines-” Mash muttered, waving a hand towards the younger clone. “You're covered in filth, try not to get it all over everything.”

“This building is still under Separatist control last time I checked. I think they’ve got bigger problems then my dirty shebs (backside/rear/“ass”) sitting on their dining tables. Just saying.” Nines shrugged, catching the way Razor quickly looked down and breathed out sharply.

“Don’t encourage him.” Mash didn’t skip a beat in lightly scolding Razor’s reaction to Nines’ humor. 

Wearing full armor and helmets did inhibit one’s ability to read some body language, but they all grew up learning how to read it. He wasn’t completely there yet, but Mash was beginning to pick up on the little details that clued him into each new brother of his. He could almost identify each of them by their breathing in combat. Nines was the easiest to pick out because he always breathed in such an even and controlled manner; a sign of a sniper; the slightest inhale or exhale could mean the hit or miss of a shot. Hawk and Razor were a little harder to tell apart but Mash was getting there. 

“Let’s head up to the top floor.” Mash gestured out of the room with his Deece. “Keep it tight.”

B1 Battle Droids littered the hallway farther down where they had come from. Every floor and room below them had been cleared. All that remained of the main structure was the top floor, the communications center. Whether the other squad had cleared the East Tower was a question Mash hated leaving up in the air. More droids could pour into the lower levels that they had already cleared if the squad didn’t hold up their end. 

Making their way to the end of the hall, they came to an open spiral staircase heading up. Sure there was also a lift, but they didn’t know what they were walking into. The stairs would allow them to survey the situation better. 

It didn’t take long for the squad to make their way up to the top level and to a small hall that led to the opening of the communications center. No doors. They’d just have to move in relatively quickly to get the jump.

Mash followed behind Nines on the left side of the hallway as Hawk and Razor did the same on the right side of the hall. 

“Tactical Droid 12 o’clock.” Hawk said.

“I got it,” Nines had already raised his Deece.

“Pare (wait),” Mash held a hand out, Deece still trained forward, held by another hand despite the pressure it put on his wrist. “Keep it intact, if we get the jump we might be able to salvage information out of it.”

“...Fine.” Nines uttered but kept his rifle in position.

Evaluating the room for a moment, Mash’s HUD marked the hostiles in a moment. Fourteen, a mix of B1s and SBDs not including the Tactical Droid. 

“Razor?” Mash questioned.

“Hawk and I got the right side, you guys take left?”

“Copy.” Gesturing forward with his pointed middle and forefinger Mash quickly grasped his Deece as they moved in. 

Nines headed into the room quicker than the others, shooting down several of the droids before making a run for the Tactical droid before it could register the situation playing out.

Mash shot down what droids remained around Nines, dodging a couple of blaster bolts that came close to his body. 

Razor and Hawk went about taking down droids on the other side of the room, conscious of the blaster charge they were using as they took the droids down as quickly and efficiently as possible; a head shot or correctly positioned body shot; nothing else would do. 

Mash had barely caught Nines finishing off the Tactical droid as he finished ripping the droid’s head from its body before standing up with a laugh, tossing it in his hands twice before looking the intact head over. 

“Vod, gaanaylir (brother, catch).” Nines tossed the droid head towards Hawk who fumbled for a moment, only one hand free as the other grasped his Deece. The droid part clattered against his armor before he secured it properly in his grasp. Hawk then handed the droid head to Razor without much thought and Echo Squad’s slicer made his way towards the command console a couple meters away. 

“Nines, door.” Mash said. 

“Copy that.”

Heading to the front of the room where computer stations lined the walls, Mash lightly ran his fingers over the controls of one of the stations before stepping once to the side to where the security cam screens were. Cycling through them briefly, it took Mash a while to finally find a cam that showed the other squad. By the looks they were making their way towards the communications center and they looked calm enough so they must’ve held up their end. 

“Anything, Sarg?” Hawk asked.

“No droid activity. That squad’s on there way it looks like. Hawk-” Mash got the attention of his comrade and gestured to the console in front of him with a nod.

Hawk nodded and approached him.

“Refresh security systems and realign motion sensors in the building.”

“Sir,” Hawk gave a nod before getting to work. 

“So what’s the plan now?” Nines looked over his shoulder back into the room towards his brothers.

Mash exchanged a glance with Razor who was standing over the command console; the hub for long range communication. 

“I’ll start securing a line to Kamino,” Razor decided. “Enlighten Skipper on our progress.” He turned away and got to work on the console. 

Mash’s eyes dotted over the console where Razor began working before his eyeline fell to the floor and followed the path of destruction towards the door where Nines was. From there his eyes found several moving figures coming down the hall, the other squad. Great.

“Well well,” Sergeant 18 began, the eyeline of his helmet shifting around the room for a moment before settling on Mash. “Su cuy’gar (you’re still alive).” 

“Don’t act so surprised.” Mash muttered before gesturing them over. 

“The East Tower is clear.” The Sergeant continued to look around the room for a brief time before his gaze landed on Mash once more, giving the littlest dip of his head. Mash was quick to reciprocate the gesture in gratitude. 

“Looks like the droids were tampering with the transmitter,” Razor called over. “It’s gonna take some time to get to working.”

“Alright.” Mash’s eyes had quickly found the squad of men who had since entered the room once more. They were so familiar to him and his brothers yet so incredibly different it almost made his blood boil with just how different they were - how different they approached the mission. “In the meantime we need to secure the greater perimeter.”

“You know how long that’ll take?” The Sergeant reprimanded. 

“It needs to be done,” Mash countered before turning towards Nines. Hesitating in his words for a moment, Mash evaluated the men he had present in the room. 

“Let’s send three men, including a Corporal.” Mash wasted little time in subtly waving Nines over.

“If you’ve all got a slicer who can take over this, I’ll take a few men out.” Razor called over, now lying on his back with his head inside a compartment under the command console, helmet on the ground next to his legs. One of the other squad’s men, 87, had since traveled over to where Razor was. After a moment he looked up from where he was knelt down near Razor. 

“I can handle this, sir, if you wanna send someone out with them.” His voice was just a hair higher in pitch and the detail, as small as it was, already told Mash that the clone was younger to some degree; maybe closer in age to Hawk and Nines. 

Sergeant 18 turned towards Mash for a brief time before turning towards the two of his men still at his side. He nodded to one of them and he stepped forward.

“Alright 11… We’ll play it your way. 60 will go with’em on the scouting,” He nods to the comprade that had since stepped up.

Clenching his jaw for a brief time, Mash reluctantly thought over his next move before carefully removing his helmet. Positioning it under his arm, he relaxed his jaw before holding out a hand to the Sergeant.

The soldier was still but the slight movement of his helmet indicated he saw the outstretched hand.

“Echo Squad. They call me Mash.” It was a longshot. But it might make things easier going forward if they stepped past the formalities of numbers for names. 

The Sergeant was unusually still for his seemingly gung ho attitude prior; but the man finally looked down at the hand after an uncomfortable beat of silence before raising his hands to his helmet. Removing the piece of armor, he went to tuck the helmet under his arm before returning the gesture. 

Mash met the same set of eyes. “Trauma Squad... Baxter.” His hair was relatively unkempt, but part of that might have been due to helmet hair. It was not the standard military cut all clones were required to maintain on Kamino; it appeared as if he’d let it grow out a bit, his bangs were just teasing his brow. 

Mash shook his hand once before they each pulled away from the gesture.

Looking to his left, Mash met Razor’s eyes as his brother walked over.

“This is our Corporal’n slicer.” Mash nodded towards him.

“Razor.” He responds.

“That’s ours.” Baxter nods to his right to the clone next to him.

“Ram, Corporal and sniper” The Corporal previously known as 34 chimed in with a dip of his helmet. 

Mash gave a small nod in response to the clone.

“Nines, sniper.” Nines took the opportunity of silence to speak up.

“Hawk, demo.” Hawk waved a loose hand while continuing to fool around with the security system console on the other side of the room. 

The man behind Baxter adjusted his stance before clearing his throat. “Char, demo.”

Mash gave the man a small nod of acknowledgement before he met the eyes of the Trauma Squad sergeant.

Baxter turned and gestured towards the last man who hadn’t been named, currently with his head inside the command console where Razor had previously been.

“The kid over there’s Jack; our slicer.”

“Razor, you alright taking Nines and Char on a perimeter sweep?” 

“Just the courtyard or do we wanna start covering this in sectors?” Razor inquired, looking between the two Sergeants. 

Mash glanced at Baxter momentarily and the Trauma Squad Sergeant did the same. 

“I don’t think we need to start heading off into the jungle just yet,” Baxter’s voice was controlled and somewhat reluctant. 

“Maybe just walk the perimeter outside of the courtyard for now. Take an hour and sweep it; check each road for damage or foot traffic and call in if you see any signs of more droid patrols.” Mash continued to eye Baxter as he spoke. 

“Alright,” Razor nodded before briefly meeting the eyes of Nines and then the one identified as Char, giving them a small nod to move out. 

Mash firmly gripped Razor’s shoulder plating as his brother went to walk by before leaving with the two soldiers in tow. 

“How’s it coming, Jack?”

“Corporal Razor mentioned the power cell might’ve been tampered with.” Jack strained to look out from the small space he had his head in, hands up under the console inside the cylinder structure. 

“Well if that’s the case then we can’t get any messages out at the moment. Not even to a nearby fleet.” Baxter muttered, kneeling down next to his comrade. “May not be the time,” Baxter raised his voice enough to catch Mash’s attention. “But what exactly did your mission debrief necessitate… In detail?”

Mash watched the Sergeant for a moment and remained silent until he got to his feet to face him fully. 

“I’m not sure if we’re there yet.” Mash was calm in his statement but still firm. This could get ugly again and Razor wasn’t there to mediate. Not that he needed it… But when it came to this Sergeant, he found his fuse seemingly much shorter than normal.

“Not sure if we’re there yet.” Baxter repeats with a nod, a hand coming to the back of his head before he ran his fingers through his hair quickly. “Y’know if I didn’t know better I’d say-”

“Go on,” Mash cut him off slightly.

Baxter almost smiled before glancing around the room for a brief time. While his expression said amusement, his eyes held a certain reluctance similar to Mash’s. 

“... Let’s just contact Kamino and get this mess sorted.” 

“Good answer.” Mash gave a nod and crossed his arms; as well as he could in the armor at least while watching the Sergeant walk over to his man at the command console. 

Shaking his head, Mash headed over to Hawk.

“Any luck?” Mash braced a hand on the station Hawk was sitting at and let his eyes graze over some of the cam screens. 

“Systems should be finished with the reboot soon.” Hawk nods. “I’ve got no trips on the sensors aside from us so… I think we’re clear for now.”

Mash lifted his gaze and looked out one of the transparisteel viewports of the Tower, eyes picking up on the large vines that coated the planet surface.

“For now.”

The jungle just surrounding the Temple held an eerie silence. One that hadn’t been present when Echo Squad was on their approach from RV point Axe. The firefight had since quieted any fauna in the vicinity of the Towers. 

Making their way across the courtyard and towards the East road, Nines kicked a few crippled B1s out of his path as they walked. While the sniper was content to keep his eyes forward and on the task at hand, his eyes eventually traveled over to the Trauma Squad member with them; Char. 

Nines let himself look the clone up and down for a beat. He walked different; fought different; no doubt probably did everything a little different too. While your average civvy probably couldn’t comprehend that fact, for a clone, it was just part of the job - part of the job that the Kaminoans never taught them. It was something they just learned early in their lives, despite being manufactured to be the same, there was always that little bit of human that the longnecks could never fully scrub out. Nines figured every training sergeant probably instilled some sort of mindset that reinforced their tendency to individualize themselves; he’d heard rumors about other trainers. 

The Trauma Squad member, like the rest of his squad, had green-like color accents on his white armor. While there was no way in hell that the other squad could tell due to the mud they were still covered in, Echo Squad’s color was red; their armor was accented in the red to orange colors. 

Nines’ eyes caught the couple of stairs ahead that went down a foot before smoothing out into the road heading into the Jungle; the place where one of Trauma Squad had thrown a grenade was prominent in the blasted off pieces of stair that littered the vicinity.

“You’re demo right?” Nines gestured down to the rubble with the barrel of his Deece. “This you?” He laughed. 

The Trauma Squad member came to a stop and slowly looked towards Nines, taking a beat to process the question.

“Was the Sarg,” Char finally responded. He had a somewhat deeper voice, more so than Mash or Baxter too. 

“Guy’s not one for the rulebook is he?” Nines raised an eyebrow from under his helmet before maneuvering down what intact stairs were left. 

“Least he didn’t have us rolling in osik,” The man chuckled and Nines felt annoyance prickle his skin.

“First off its mud. We were running recon and needed to take precautions. Second, we were following a strict outline from the Jedi… They wanted the location taken quickly and quietly to avoid making a scene; I imagine they didn’t want their meditation-force-Temple lookin like a battleground when we were done.” He gestures back to the blown up set of stairs that were getting further away as they continued down the road, checking for any droid activity. 

“...Smells like osik.” Char stated. 

Nines clenched his jaw and caught the way Razor gave him the littlest shake of his helmet. 

Don’t. 

Nines let silence fall, although it took every ounce of self control he had left not to start picking this guy apart. It was in his nature to just… Wind people up. This guy was winding him up and was looking like he wasn’t even giving it his full attention. 

Glancing down at himself for the briefest second he caught the sight of the thick layer of mud still caked to his armor… It did smell terrible.... But it was mud…. Hopefully.

The soldiers continued down the quiet path that led deeper into the jungle until they reached the end of the architectural road that ended at some stairs and a small dirt path, not even a road, that continued into the wilderness.

“Well that was eventful.” Nines muttered before turning to head back in the other direction.

They still had the north and south roads to walk. They’d already swept the west road now opposite their position. “Remind me again why they needed us for this job. This is infantry level work.”

“Says the talking osik pile.” Char surmised, following the sniper with his gaze as he went to leave. 

“Wayii- copaani mirshmure'cye, vod? (Good grief- are you looking for a smack in the face, mate?)” Nines had whipped around, coming relatively face to face or- helmet to helmet with the Trauma Squad member.

“Alright, easy you two!” Razor interrupted the two, putting a hand on each of their shoulders before pushing them apart. “Same team.”

Char glanced towards Razor for a brief time before bowing his head in a small nod. Turning towards Nines he eyed the sniper for a brief time before stepping past him to continue their patrol back to the Temple. 

Nines muttered once more under his breath before meeting the gaze of the Corporal.

“You may know how to wind people up, but you make it relatively easy for others to do the same to you, vod.” Razor chuckled before patting his brother’s shoulder plating. 

Nines rolled his eyes before walking alongside his older brother back down the road to continue their sweep.

“How about- now?” Jack grunted, half of his armored body cramped into the small compartment under the command console. 

“Nothing,” Baxter responded, staring at the dark holotable. 

Mash watched the two quietly while his arms crossed, trying to keep his expression as blank as possible before he exchanged the smallest glance with Hawk and Ram who was standing a meter or two from them. 

A string of curses in Mando’a left the clone before the clattering of metal parts followed. The holotable flickered to life moments later.

“Wait that did it,” Baxter held a hand down to the opening where Jack was.

“You serious? The power cell isn’t even in place I’m holding it-”

“Just don’t move.” Baxter cut him off before going about the controls.

Mash took a couple of steps forward and began putting in a secure channel code. 

“I’ll contact our advisor,” Mash explained, fingers working quickly along the bottoms of the console.

Baxter seemed to stall in his movements as the Echo Squad Sergeant stepped up and he retracted his hands from the console. “You do that,” The Trauma Squad Sergeant moved back slowly before crossing his own arms. 

Mash slowed his actions as he processed the dramatic response from the soldier before resisting the urge to roll his eyes. Finishing the code, Mash activated the transmitter and stood up straight, watching as the holotable, now illuminated, hummed to life. 

It seemed much longer, but a few seconds later a hologramic figure emerged from the table and Mash was quick to recognize him.

“Sergeant, how is your assignment going?” Skipper questioned, hands loosely on his armor belt.

It was a relief to see their Clone Advisor, but Mash found the words leaving his mouth to be far from that thought that grazed his mind.

“Temple’s been retaken, but sir, would you mind explaining to me what the hell high command is playing at?” Mash leaned forward on the console, hands on either side of the controls.

“...Excuse me, Sergeant?” Mash rarely ever talked to a superior with such an aggressive tone. 

“Let me,” Baxter less than gently shoved Mash out of the way before taking his spot in front of the hologram. “What he means to ask is what high command’s been doing with their thumbs up their shebs while we trip over our own feet down here trying to recapture a Jedi timeshare.”

“Wayii.” Mash roughly rubbed a hand over his shaved head before cursing. “Show a little decorum,” Mash seethed.

“Me show decorum?” Baxter turned towards the Echo Squad leader, a hand to his armored chest. 

“Alright, settle down!” Skipper almost had to yell to get the attention of the two Sergeants before they both finally directed their attention to him. “Mash, what’s the state of the Temple? Enemy activity?”

“We’ve secured the position, sir.” Mash said. “We eliminated a small Separatist force holding the location; wasn’t nearly enough to hold it indefinitely; most likely just a temporary force to hold the grounds.”

“They may send reinforcements then. Be on guard.” Skipper warned.

Mash gave a nod before glancing around at the others temporarily. “When will the Jedi be arriving?” 

His question was followed by silence, and Baxter was the first to react as he adjusted his stance and took a step forward.

“Well?”

“...The Jedi don’t have a replacement lined up yet.” Not only did his reluctance to respond clue them in, but the hesitation in his voice as well. 

“Excuse me?” Baxter slowly blinked in response, posture twitching.

“Meaning?” Mash questioned.

“Meaning,” Skippered sighed lightly. “You all aren’t going anywhere until they send a Jedi.”

Baxter, being the first to react again, kicked the command console, causing the hologram to flicker.

“Hey!” Jack called from under the console. 

“You gotta be-” A string of curses in mando’a followed Baxter’s proclamation as he took a couple steps away from the console. 

“Take it easy,” Mash put a hand up.

Returning to the console, Baxter rests both hands on the rim.

“I need to talk to our advisor. He’ll get us out of here.” Baxter made clear.

“Sergeant, your advisor has been pulled for an assignment, so Trauma is officially under my jurisdiction until he returns.”

The man was fuming, but he remained quiet, much to Mash’s surprise. 

“You both are to hold the location and report back any Separatist activity or attempts to retake the Temple. It shouldn’t be more than a couple of days.” Skipper eased, holding out a hand as he spoke. “The Temple has a storage facility with foodstuffs and rations to keep you comfortable if you all are stuck longer than your dry ration packs will allow.”

“We better not be,” Baxter grumbled under his breath, glancing towards Ram.

“You don’t have to worry about a thing, sir.” Mash reassured the Advisor. “We’ll keep the Temple secure.”

“I’ll contact you when I have word on the Jedi.” Skipper gives them a final nod before the hologram disappears and it falls quiet.

“...Can I get up now?” Jack grunted, a foot kicking slightly as the man was still on his back halfway under the console. 

“Alright,” Mash mumbles quietly, meeting Hawk’s eyes before glancing towards Baxter as the man had since began pacing around slowly. “Well-”

“Jetiise (Jedi; plural),” Baxter uttered under his breath before shaking his head. 

“Hey,” Mash’s tone lowered in a warning manner. The man seemed quick to want to bash on any of the higher ups.

“It’ll only be for a few days.” Ram spoke up, meeting Mash’s gaze for a brief moment before looking towards his Sergeant. 

Walking over to the computer stations lining the far wall, Mash stepped past Baxter to grab his helmet and put it on.

A couple careful blinks later, he activated their secure comm channel.

“Razor? How’s the patrol going?” Mash spoke up, eyeline shifting to the left as Jack crawled out from under the commander console and put a hand through his hair with a mumble. 

The comms crackled briefly before he got a response.

“All qui… out here, Mash. No sign u-... oid traffic around the T… ple yet. We’re almost done ch... south road th… be heading back.”

“Transmission was fuzzy but I understand. Let me know if anything changes,” Mash responded.

“Yes sir. Any news?”

Mash clenched his jaw and thought it over for a moment before shaking his head.

“Long story short- we’re stuck here together until the Jedi can send someone. Could be a few days.”

“Did he j… ays!?”

That was Nines alright.

“I see,” Razor responded. “Brief us when w…. back.”

“Will do,” Mash finished the transmission before taking his helmet off with a sigh.

“Just great.” Nines growled under his breath, his grasp on his Deece tightening and loosening as he fidgeted. “Stuck with crack squad for-”

“Who’re you calling a crack squad, mate?” Char cut him off. “We’re not the squad looking like they just crawled out of a swamp.”

“Keep talking and I’ll make sure they find your body at the bottom a swamp, mate.” Nines barked back, having turned on his heel to stop Char in his tracks.

“Gev! Take it down!” Razor ordered, shouldering Nines to get his younger comrade to back off. “Both of you,” Razor turned a look on Char before gesturing them both forward. “Squabbling like Infantry cadets for galaxy’s sake-” He cursed before walking ahead of both of them. 

Nines begrudgingly followed, but not before exchanging a small glance with Char before they began heading back to the Temple. 

The walk back was quiet and by the time they’d gotten up to the communications center, the atmosphere had leveled out. 

“The perimeter is clear.” Razor announced, removing his helmet as he entered the communications room. 

Mash turned and met the eyes of his Corporal with a nod.

“Seppies won’t stay quiet for long,” Baxter chimed in, leaning against the command console with his armed crossed, expression almost belligerent as he looked back down at the ground with a scowl. “They’ll send reinforcements and soon.”

“We’ll be ready,” Mash agreed, hands resting on his armor belt. “First things first, we need to start organizing patrols; keep an eye on local air traffic an-”

“Who- put you in charge exactly?” Baxter questioned, his expression revealing genuine confusion but also fatigue. 

Mash clenched his jaw and breathed out quietly through his nose before shooting Razor the smallest look. 

“It’ll only be a couple days, I’m sure we can balance leadership.” Ram proposed, sitting at one of the chairs at the computer stations at the opposite side of the room.

Baxter’s body jolted as if he was trying to prevent a scoff before he nodded.

“Better only be a couple days.”

ONE WEEK LATER… 

Nines clenched his jaw, staring down towards his hands before his gaze lifted and he met Char’s eyes. The Trauma Squad member stared back at him, expression hardly set but relatively at ease despite the fact. 

Tapping his finger lightly, Nines swallowed before he finally nodded.

“I’ll raise you three Nuna jerky strips.” Nines finally stated before tossing the packaged meat into the center of the table.

“I’ll match that, vod.” Char nodded before grabbing some packaged jerky strips from the backpack next to his feet, tossing them into their pot where other small foods and rations resided. 

From the other side of the communications center, Ram watched the two playing cards with a tightly knit brow.

“I don’t get it,” Ram finally muttered, giving a shake of his head. 

“What?” Razor questioned while chewing on a ration stick, eyes on the SOP manual up on the datapad balanced on his propped up leg. 

“They’ll be at each other's throats night and day- but as soon as the Sabacc cards come out they turn more civil than jetiise.”

Razor let a hard breath out through his nose in amusement before shrugging lightly, using a knuckle to scroll down on the datapad. 

Those two were always going at each other, but over the past several days they’d each discovered their love of the card game, Sabacc. They’d started developing an awkward love/hate relationship with the game at the center. 

“As long as they’re quiet,”

The week had passed by slowly. Razor and Ram were getting along alright during the time, however Mash and Baxter were still at opposite ends of a spectrum. They butted heads but a brotherly atmosphere was starting to settle in. 

Turning in his chair, Ram faces the computer station and quickly goes about cycling through the comm channels, listening for any chatter that might clue them into a hostile force. Alongside that chore was looking for any Separatist activity on the air traffic scanners. So far they’d had nothing all week.

The beeping of one of the air traffic scanners causes both Ram and Razor to look up from their distractions. Ram is the first to swing around in his chair and lean over to the neighboring computer station. 

Razor got up from his chair and walked over.

“Got something?” He questioned.

Ram evaluated the reading before narrowing the scanner range.

“I’ve got a ship entering the atmosphere, around 50 klicks out.” Ram responded, brow knit as he watched the screen on the station plot a hypothetical course for the ship that was approaching. “Computer's plotting its course; it looks like they’re heading for us.” Ram muttered before getting to his feet. Cycling through the channels for a moment, Ram found the only other active one and pressed one of the buttons on the panel to unmute the transmission.

“Incoming ship, you are entering restricted Republic Military airspace,”

Razor eyed the image on the screen that estimated the ship’s trajectory as Ram continued to recite one of the standard messages from the SOPs manual.

“Do you copy?” Ram waited but only static came through on the comms. 

“I repeat, incoming ship, you have entered restricted Republic Military airspace-”

“They’re coming in way too fast.” Razor muttered, eyeing the readings on the computer screen built into the station. “Reads are coming through… Ships heavily damaged.”

“Specs?” Ram inquired. 

“Hull integrity is at critical levels, heat spikes all over the ship, scanner’s reading engine failure. That ship’s not being piloted, it’s going down.”

“What’s the estimated crash path?” Ram asked, finger hovering over the comm button, allowing the static to come through. 

Going about the controls on the station, Razor expanded the aerial map of the surrounding area and the computer AI marked an estimated crash zone. 

At seeing the area, Razor leaned in further, brow knitting tightly. 

“Something wrong?” Ram questions.

“That’s just near RV point Axe… Aren’t they patrolling that area?” Razor questioned, turning to the fellow Corporal.

At processing his comrade’s words, Ram quickly abandoned the comm frequency he was using to contact the unknown ship and set the frequency to their squad comm channel.

“Sergeants we’ve got a ship coming in with a projected crash zone in your area… Baxter? Sergeant Mash?” 

Razor watched the fellow soldier quietly before glancing to the side seeing Nines and Char had since approached, similarly reflected expressions of concern. 

“Haar'chak, I can’t get anything through,” Ram swore before shaking his head; meeting Razor’s eyes. “Wanna head out?”

In the past few days, they’d discovered how communications were difficult on the planet. If a party was out in the jungle, comms were always very sensitive. They knew it would complicate matters if the Separatists organized an attempt to retake the Temple. 

“... Yeah, let’s go.” Razor agreed before quickly going to grab his helmet. “You two hold down here,” Razor looked to both Nines and Char. 

“Let us know if you need any help.” Nines nodded before shrugging. “... Well I guess you won’t be able to so-... If it looks bad from here we’ll- consider coming to help.”

“Good to know,” Ram smirked before throwing his helmet on. 

Nodding to the other Corporal, they both began running for the hall. 

There had been a short rain shower earlier in the morning. The ground was soft and their armored boots sunk into the soil as they treaded through the jungle. 

Baxter was walking a few yards ahead with Jack at his side, and Mash followed closely behind with Hawk. 

The Trauma squad members were chatting lightly amongst themselves and Mash and Hawk chatted on and off.

They had fallen into a relatively simple routine over the past few days. They’d hit bumps now and again, but everyone usually did their best to stay out of each other’s way. 

The ease of the atmosphere around them came to a screeching halt however, when the crackling of sticks sounds off to their 9 o’clock. 

Baxter is the first to ready his rifle before anyone else had time to process the sound disruption. They may not have been a squad, but they knew how to make it work, and everyone worked off of each other in accordance with the developments around them.

All of them trained on an assortment of foliage several meters away, more rustling follows before small chirp-like noises emit from the bushes.

It was a familiar sound. One of the native fauna from the planet, a small reptilian species. However the familiarity didn’t stop Baxter from watching the position from which the sound radiated with a raised weapon. 

Jack had his weapon raised hesitantly as well, although Sergeant Mash’s lack of reaction caused him to second guess his own. They hadn’t seen any action in weeks. It was obvious Sergeant Baxter was getting an itchy trigger finger to shoot something. 

“S’nothing, brother.” Mash mumbled, rifle loosely held in front of him.

Baxter rolled his eyes from under his helmet and muttered under his breath before continuing on their patrol.

“Jedi are wasting Special Forces; as if Geonosis wasn’t enough of a wake up call for em,” Baxter said, his pace picking up. 

Mash tries not to roll his shoulders in an effort to ease the prickle of uneasiness he got from Baxter’s comment. How had this clone survived this long without getting himself terminated. 

“C’mon, vod,” Mash mumbled, knowing Baxter would understand his comment. 

In training, they were taught that Jedi leadership was invaluable. However at the Battle of Geonosis, the clone army was in for a somewhat rude awakening at just how unprepared the Jedi seemed to be in leading the army. Special Forces lost half of their numbers, and strategically, the Battle was a mess. Many clones came out of their first battle confused, even angered, but still unwaveringly loyal to the Jedi… well most of them did. Baxter made Mash rethink that part.  

“Maybe the next assignment will have us mopping floors in the Jedi Temple, who knows you gotta remain optimistic.” Baxter called over his shoulder. 

Mash just shook his head and exchanged a small glance with Hawk. 

Crackling over the comms caused Mash to slow his pace, a hand raising subconsciously towards his helmet. 

“Razor? That you?” Mash spoke up.

“We-.... ip comi… cra… yo-...”

“Damn it,” Mash muttered before using his knuckles to knock the side of his helmet a couple of times. “Are you getting anything clear Baxter?” 

“No,” The Trauma Sergeant grumbled, eyeline on the ground as he tried to listen to the gargled transmission. “Come on boys, spit it out.”

“Repe… shi… proj… crash…” 

Mash shook his head lightly as he tried to listen only to start hearing a roar of a ship in the background of the transmission.

“...You hear that?” Mash turned towards Hawk who nodded.

“Hey Max,” Baxter suddenly spoke up.

The Sergeant’s expression fell from under his helmet. “It’s Mash,” He grumbled before turning around to look at the Sergeant.

He was looking up through the vine canopy. 

Mash’s brow knit in response to seeing the Sergeant before he followed the man’s eyeline to the sky, eyes widening at the sight.

“Uh… That doesn’t look good.” Jack stated, also finding the ship that was hurtling down towards them in a ball of fire. 

“GO GO GO!” Mash yelled, waving the men off. They began running towards the ship and managed to avoid most of the debris coming off of the craft as it crashed through the vine canopy and barreled into the mud around forty yards away. 

Half of the men had dived for cover from broken pieces of the ship that had rained down.

“Everyone alright?” Mash called out, the question leaving his mouth before he could register his own state.

“Fine here sir,”

“All good.”

Mash quickly got to his feet, seeing Baxter had already done the same.

“Not what I was expecting when I hoped for some action but I won’t complain,” The Trauma Sergeant didn’t waste any time, and Mash wasn’t going to slow him down as they quickly began making their way towards the wreckage. “Wanna bet they were trying to warn us?” Baxter laughed, referring to the rest of their group at the Temple.

Mash nodded to the side in agreement, feeling Hawk come up on his right as they followed the canyoned trail the ship had left in its wake.

It was a fairly large craft, a freighter by the look of what was left. 

A small explosion off of one of the dislodged engines causes the team to jump back a step. 

Baxter suddenly patted Mash had on the back before going closer to the wreck.

“We’ll cover the cockpit area,” He practically threw the comment over his shoulder before jogging off with Jack close behind him.

“But- I- Erm,” Mash shook his head and quieted his objection before it could pass through his lips. 

“Let’s cover the back of the ship,” Mash responded, looking towards his comrade. “Looks like the ship’s main structure is still relatively intact. We might be able to enter through the cargo bay.”

Hawk acknowledged his Sergeant with a nod before going to follow the clone. Both keep a close eye on the wreckage as they approach. Parts of the hull were missing, revealing little hints of darkness within the craft. There could still be lifeforms on board. 

Hawk let his eyes run along the side of the crashed ship as they made their way closer. Most of the ship wasn’t ablaze, the engines had been, but they’d broken off the main craft when it struck the ground. 

Giving the side of the ship another once over, Hawk cleared his throat. “My HUD isn’t recognizing this freighter, sir.”

“It isn’t Republic, keep your eyes open.” Mash responded, rifle raised. 

They get to the back of the ship and the ramp is dislodged from the freighter. Giving the dark opening a quick once over, Mash nodded to Hawk and they began making their way inside. 

Cargo boxes and cages of supplies littered the space. Despite the wreckage everywhere, Mash was quick to spot an outlying object.

“10 o’clock,” Mash nodded to the corpse off to the left as they headed further into the ship. 

Hawk noted the body, as well as another farther away against the wall and followed the Sergeant. Their HUDs could pick up life signs and so far, there weren’t any.

“Hey Mack!” Baxter called out suddenly. “We’ve got some dead lizards up here!” Baxter appears from an elevated platform up the wall at the back of the cargo bay that they had been heading towards. There was most likely a door to the cockpit and a ladder somewhere. 

Mash shook his head and looked up, noting the ship was relatively small now, from what was remaining intact; the ship was now clear. 

“It’s Mash.” The Echo squad Sergeant responded under his breath, lowering his rifle in front of him 

“Trandoshans?” Hawk inquired, craning his neck to look up to where Baxter and Jack were.

“Lizards. Did I stutter, kid?” Baxter responded.

“Yeah Hawk, Trandoshans,” The remnants of a chuckle sounded through Jack’s helmet as he softened Baxter’s sarcastic response. 

Both jumped down into the cargo area and Baxter playfully knocked Hawk’s shoulder plating with his knuckles. 

A sudden shudder of cargo crates in the back right corner of the ship’s cargo bay causes the soldiers to jump into action. Mash and Hawk have their weapons trained on the origin of where the sound originated and Baxter and Jack did the same. The first sign of a potential hostile in a week. It was safe to say they were anticipating a threat.

Taking a couple steps closer, Baxter kept his rifle trained at the corner of the damaged ship’s bay before hand signaling to the others.

Mash, Hawk and Jack all gave nods in response before Baxter spoke up.

“Come out!” Voice alone, Baxter’s ranged on the lower end of what was common for clones; coupled with the helmet filtering his voice, he sounded even more menacing.

When nothing followed the demand, Baxter knocked the crates with a calculated kick of his armored leg, jostling them a good bit but not moving them enough to reveal the hostile.

“NOW!”

Changing the settings on his HUD, Mash changed his helmet display to thermal and after a couple seconds, his brow knit together at the readings coming from behind the crates.

“Bax-”

“Am I speaking Huttese? Get out here you di-”

“Take it easy, Baxter!” Mash finally snapped, jabbing the other Sergeant with his armored elbow before lowering his weapon.

“Er you crazy?” Baxter growled, helmeted gaze whipping around to the other Sergeant. 

“Alright you,” Mash took a couple of steps closer, “C’mon out,” Voice still significantly firm, but lower in volume to Baxter’s, Mash waited for some kind of response to the changed approach. 

The silence that followed doesn’t ease Baxter’s caution as he kept his rifle trained on the crates before eyes peek over one of the boxes.

“Yeah you- out.” Mash muttered pointing to the ground in front of his feet with his forefinger, rifle still held up in one hand trained ahead.

A small being made their way out from behind the crates and Hawk slowly lowered his rifle; Jack followed the action not far behind. 

Taking a moment to process the lifeform, Baxter felt his shoulders fall. “Too bad,” Baxter finally muttered. “Was looking for an excuse to unload on somethin,” Baxter’s eyes trail over the young girl now standing in front of him with slight disappointment. 

“Sir,” Jack breathed out a laugh.

“Told you Jay,” Baxter glanced back towards his slicer, “I got more of that sociopathic blood in my system than the others.” 

Mash looked over the being quietly. She was young, probably an early adolescent; dirty and emaciated. His HUD was picking up on an accelerated heart rate.

“Sir,”

Mash turned and looked over his shoulder to see his Corporal, Razor, along with Trauma Squad Corporal, Ram. 

“We went ahead and did an extra sweep of the crash site perimeter. Any life in he- Oh,” Razor caught sight of the small being that barely met the soldiers chest plates in height.

“Affirmative,” Hawk shrugged lightly, rifle at ease in front of him before he looked back down to the girl who had taken a few steps back towards the crates she’d been hiding behind.

“So we’ve got no other survivors,” Baxter stated, processing the fact before nodding. 

“The ship didn’t come up on my HU-”

“Didn’t on ours either,” Baxter cut Razor off as he looked over the torn up ship around them. 

“I’ll begin scanning the haul,” Ram offered before leaving the damaged cargo bay.

Mash looked around further before turning his eyes to Baxter as he moved out of his peripheral.

“A miracle she survived this,” The Sergeant of Trauma Squad grunted while evaluating the ship’s seemingly nonexistent roof before turning his eyes to the child. “You’re lucky, kid.”

Masterlist | Next Chapter | Chapter Art & Map | Echo & Trauma Squad

CHAPTER NOTE: If you’re reading this, well first off congratulations. I’m frankly quite surprised you haven’t fallen asleep yet or given up. Second of all, I hope you enjoyed!!! One note: Mando’a is littered throughout, I apologize if I made mistakes, I’m still learning! 

Support is appreciated if you had fun reading :) I hope to post the next chapter soon!

[sugar-petals]

Started reading your work for the first time! I started with snowdrop, I have now moved onto Trophy Boyfriend. I am SO impressed with how you write. Your style is SO unique and the way you paint your world's in ENGLISH, not even your first language, fascinates me. Your dialogue is so unique and the rapport between characters is amazing. I'm hooked, you got this lesbian reading straight femmedom fan fiction because of your writing style. You should write books, I would buy em all 🌷

Trophy Boyfriend is perfect for you, it’s got Hyuna and Sunmi in it 🌹✨

English is hard as fuq on a literary level, all the non-native speakers struggle left and right. But you gotta keep trying I say ✊ I’m doing this all for you. My sweetest cherubs 😭

[hellish-summoner]

A bit of self-driven character development!

(So originally this was just going to be a set of the icons for the Fantasy Character Development meme for like....Heca or something, but my brain wanted to expand on Vallite’s origin world, so this might get long!

And by that I mean I got the urge to make HCs related to Vallite and Kaga for some reason. BUT might as well do two sets! Before a line under the cut will be Heca’s set, below that line will be the set for the other two. Trust me, it will be a noticeable line.

Why a line under a cut? This will get long even with one set, trust me.)

(Heca’s set; only she is speaking here.)

Does your character possess magic? How do they feel about it even if they don’t have it?

“Of course I do; I’m a goddess of magic in a way......Personally, I know why most don’t rely on it, but simple magic is a boon that many people can create. Making simple spells can work better than just simple prayer; though many simple spells might require praying to a god or spirit for it to work.”

“And then of course, magic like what is seen here? That’s something you got to train and hone; even if something gives you the power to start practicing without you being born with it, you gotta train it!”

How does your character feel about Non-Human intelligent races? If they are one how are they treated?

“..........I lived in a place surrounded by mostly demons and hell-born fey. And I’m not human myself. To say that I respect non-humans would be an understatement....I have lived among them for years, I could never change how I treat someone based solely on what species they are.”

“..................I may have seen ‘lesser’ demons and the native fey as little more than pawns in the past though. Though getting my body that belongs to the lunar Hell almost killed by a ‘lesser’ demon who reawakened his kind’s draconic side was quite the lesson....And that’s fine; after all, Hell natives are ranked by merit, I should of known better. Though the demons still tend to favor the ones that considered naturally stronger over the more cunning ‘lessers’. Unless it’s Therai’s kind, since the specific type are kind of a myth now, since they all went missing after Therai himself was sealed away....Same with the few remaining Lampads; the Hell Fairies are still in all the Hells, but the Lampads all left like those draconic demons........Wonder if they gathered together; Therai did lead all of his fellow dragon demons and the few lampads I had left before he was sealed...”

What weapon does your character wield? Why did they choose it? If your character doesn’t fight, why?

“See, I normally fight with magic, but that’s not really a weapon. I heard that one universe has a version of myself that used a scythe, but clearly I do not have that knowledge. Does a dragonstone count? Breath? I guess those? Curse my lack of proper weapons.....Besides Therai’s lance a couple of times.”

If your character is part of the aristocracy how do they feel about their responsibility? If not how do they feel about their local governing body.

“I guess since I’m the goddess of Hell, I’m basically the leader.......I mean, that was mostly because I kicked the asses of everyone else who wanted that role. The lunar Hell was the most difficult because again, I got my Moon body almost killed by a demon dragon.....He must of trained really hard before he tried that, since he would of won if it was only that one body and he didn’t have to deal with my other two. I don’t even think he wanted to be the leader, just wanted to knock me down a peg.....He did end up being a great right hand until he accidentally went mad from being so close to the Lunar Capital coupled with insanity causing light from the torches of the lampads he led in the first lunar invasion......”

“But as the Goddess, I do have to take at least some proper role in how it works, though I mostly just make sure everyone is doing what they need to. And making sure outside threats don’t cause an issue. Our suns are still recovering from Hou Yi’s attack, despite it being so long ago.....”

Has your character obtained any unique or important injuries/scars, what are they and what are they from?

“I.....Thankfully have a body that healed any and all wounds completely; at least until I arrived here. I have scars from my time in Hel.......They looked like jello while I was there. But they were from me trying to rush in and locate Hel myself so I could kill her to stop some death curses.”

What does your character consider to be their ‘occupation’ how do they define it? Is it lucrative?

“Back home, I’m the Goddess of Hell; I guess that is lucrative. But here, I’m the Summoner; not sure if it’s lucrative, but day to day, it’s more exciting than my role in Hell. That, and you can tell I didn’t have an active role since it’s been fine since I have been gone....I trust the other high ranking members to maintain order there; and no one will take my spot because they know I would kill them if they did while I was gone. I command quite a lot of respect, after all~”

Has the type of world your character lives in claimed anyone they loved? How do they cope with it?

“It claimed my step-son’s innocence and his life itself. And it claimed both of my spouses’ lives. And Junko’s mental and emotional stability. Which is why I’m worried about her given how long I have been gone and the fact I summoned Isamu recently. He told me that she was not in a good state at first, but somehow he got her to calm down; said something about a horned cat reassuring them that I’m fine, and giving them update-........WAIT, THAT WAS CHRONOS; HOW THE FUCK DID SHE FINALLY FIND A WAY TO GET OUT OF OLD HELL??”

“As for how I cope with it; I try to make their afterlife as good as it can be; they are all stuck as spirits, and I don’t know when they will finally fade, so I try to make the most out of the time I have with them.”

Does your character feel any connection with the land/country they were born in, what sort of connection?

“Of course I do; I’m the Goddess of it. My connection to it is important to maintaining my strength; it even still applies here, though I think just making people aware of me is helping. I don’t really seek faith, I get plenty from the countless Hells....”

Does your character buy into destinies, fate, or prophecies? Why or why not?

“I wish I could say I couldn’t, but it seems like Junko’s destiny is to eternally seek revenge on Chang’e.....Just like it seems my fate is that I will one day outlast my beloved family and the friends I have made. I accept this; I make new allies and friends often, but when I start seeing my family’s spirits fading, will be the day my heart starts to break, as my limited control of ghosts will not be enough to save them. Or in Junko’s case, the day I start to see her anger and hate start to finally consume her; I delayed it as much as I can so far, but one day, I fear it won’t be enough....”

“.......I was at least able to save that poor boy from what seemed like his fate; no one deserves that death curse, let alone a child who was just trying to protect his mother.”

Is there something commonplace in their kingdom or world that your character absolutely despises?

“Not in Hell itself.....But I do despise the Lunar Capital given how much trouble it has been.....Even the fact I’m one of the gods that has some domain over the moon by way of its Hell did not convince the people of it to hand over Chang’e so I could deal with her instead of them....Though the moon rabbits are forgiven. They are just following orders and don’t have any say in what goes on there to my knowledge.”

Has your character experienced war or conflict, directly or indirectly how did it effect them?

“.........I have experienced both. I find conflicts that need my direct or indirect involvement fun, because I love to fight, but wars......they get tiring honestly. I try to end them quickly, but being here has taught me to be a bit more patient....Not willingly though.”

What does your character fear most in their world?

“........I was going to say ‘Therai’ as a joke. But honestly he is frightening because his dragon form is fucking vicious when angry. And again, I fear the day my family starts to fade away because they are after all spirits.....Or the day Junko finally goes mad from her purified grudge.”

Of the fantastical elements in their world what does your character actually find strange, or hard to believe?

“I don’t find anything back home hard to believe, but here.....I refuse to believe that there is no one in either Askr or Embla that can use the opposing side’s ability. Even royals get around you know. Look at King Garon, who had who knows how many concubines.....”

Does your character believe in hard, definable good and evils?

“No. In some eyes, I’m evil; in some I’m good; in others, I’m a neutral force. Just like the world, we are never set in stone; we are always changing, always doing both good and evil. That’s why it’s so hard to get to Heaven; rarely will one be so good they would reject the chance to reincarnate. After all, immortality is both a blessing and a curse, and it comes in many flavors; simple agelessness, an inability to die, even remaining exactly the same physically as you were when you drank a special elixir....”

“That....And living itself is seen as a sin by some, so you can never be completely sinless.”

Any unique traditions where your character is from that wouldn’t work or apply in the real world?

“Just.....the whole way Hell works maybe. The Outside World has to remain unaware of a lot of things honestly....So many things only allowed to be myths and legends...I wonder who among those I know are found in those myths, and who has been forgotten, truly belonging in Gensokyo?”

------------------------------------------

(Congrats if you got this far! This part is Vallite and Kaga’s version of the set of questions! Vallite’s words[which are basically a mix of sign language and writing] are in italics while Kaga’s words are in bold. This also contains a lot of guessing and headcanons about a story that hasn’t been translated for the English server of Azur Lane; aka I have to go off of what little I know and some minor aid from TvTropes.)

Does your character possess magic? How do they feel about it even if they don’t have it?

“Kaga, don’t kitsunes have magic? Is it truly powerful for one with nine tails like you?”

“I’m honestly not sure; I haven’t really tested it much, beyond what I use to launch planes, and the flames that float near me sometimes. What about you; surely you must know something about it, if you can copy the Corrins’ dragon form.”

“Yeah, I know a bit.....That’s the best I can do though, maybe also control water a bit. Yeah, that’s all.”

How does your character feel about Non-Human intelligent races? If they are one how are they treated?

“...I’m a kitsune. But I’m also not someone who has much experience with anyone outside of the fleet I was in....Vallite, do you know anything? You were able to interact with those outside the fleet, since you are human.”

“Kaga, I don’t think non-humans have existed in many years; or at least, they don’t make themselves known, so I wouldn’t know. But honestly, I would treat them with the same respect I give others. After all, I may have met a couple of dragons in my past.”

“Is that why you haven’t seemed to age?”

“Yes of course; a dragon’s blessing from being a good friend to one of great magical ability.”

What weapon does your character wield? Why did they choose it? If your character doesn’t fight, why?

“I used to be able to prove my strength using my training as a carrier, but.....I believe that has been removed from me here. And Crescent suggested I try a bow for some reason. That.....didn’t end well; my strength does not lie in the bow.”

“Did you hurt your arm like she did?”

“.....Yes; not one of my finer moments.”

“Stick to your powerful fox form here, dear. If we ever need a bow, let me use it; I can actually shoot it without hurting my arm. Your strength lies in your fox form, at least here.”

If your character is part of the aristocracy how do they feel about their responsibility? If not how do they feel about their local governing body.

“I’ve never thought much about the leaders above me......I simply follow orders; I fight not out of enjoyment, but out of duty. That being said......I would rather not listen to Heca, given that she doesn’t even a rank, so nothing really puts her above me other than her summoning ability. But I have no choice. Vallite however......I’ll listen to her; she actually is a commander at least, if not higher rank than that.”

“I.......My feelings towards the Sakura Empire is mixed. On one hand, I have a strong sense of loyalty towards what is basically my homeland, but on the other hand......I refuse to listen to the Sirens. I had to go with the rebels and become part of Azur Lane in hopes I can save any of them....I have saved a few, but the end is not in sight yet.”

“Wait, you rebelled...?”

“Why yes; you always said that the strong are those that shall lead. I’m stronger now than I was before we met again here. Also, strong as you may be, you just refused to be found I swear; I found your sisters, but never you, dear.”

Has your character obtained any unique or important injuries/scars, what are they and what are they from?

“.....Where did you get that scar on your face; it looks like something tried to claw your eye out.”

“I have more scars than that, but.....There’s a reason why I normally didn’t get involved in breaking up you and Akagi’s fighting and just left it to Amagi back when I wasn’t allowed to command anyone and was simply there to help with maintaining things. You know, for the one that doesn’t focus on being strong, your sister can cause quite the scratch when provoked.”

“............I forgot about that; my memories of back when I was a Battleship are quite foggy. I hope it doesn’t affect your sight?”

“Oh yeah, I can see just fine. I also got a bunch of markings, but those are from the dragon blessing, though I’m sure some scars are mixed in there. Does my lovely fox have any marks?”

“No, besides some from the battle I sank in.....But they aren’t noticeable.”

What does your character consider to be their ‘occupation’ how do they define it? Is it lucrative?

“Well I mean, I’m a special type of commander, so I would say it’s pretty well-paid; though I mostly stay where everyone I command is because......I’m honestly used to them a lot more than I’m used to the general public. Family comes to visit during holidays or my birthday anyways.”

“.........Us ships are cared for by the organization that has us, I think. And we care for each other. That being said, we were paid a bit to give us money we could spend. Not as much as the non-ships working however.”

“This is also why I stay with everyone; I get paid less so the gap isn’t as big; you guys go through a lot.”

Has the type of world your character lives in claimed anyone they loved? How do they cope with it?

“It claimed my eldest sister; but she died remaining true to herself. Which is ironic, because I almost died to the Sirens out of a desire to die as a Battleship instead of accepting the conversion to a Carrier....But honestly, I fear Amagi was dying anyways....Though it sounds like you found a way to have her return somehow, Vallite...?”

“Yeah, I don’t fully understand it; I remind her to be careful, but she seems stable now, if still a bit sickly. As for anyone it claimed from me.....” Vallite just gestures to Kaga. “I coped by just trying to distract myself from it until I could finally accept it. Though a desire to locate you was born when I learned that ships could be restored and retrieved from the Sirens. At least Akagi gave me your oldest mask under the promise I wouldn’t lose it.”

Does your character feel any connection with the land/country they were born in, what sort of connection?

“I feel strongly tied to it, but I was born and raised there, and it’s where my mother is from, I think.”

“It’s where I was made.....And I have a sense of loyalty to my fellow ships of the Sakura Empire; the First Carrier Division is a symbol of our strength.”

“Oh dear gods, you and Akagi both need to remember that that was in the past. Mostly because I don’t need that kind of arrogance in my fleet.”

Does your character buy into destinies, fate, or prophecies? Why or why not?

“Not really....The will of the strong trumps that I think.”

“I don’t know, I like the idea that we were destined to meet again, Kaga. Like star crossed lovers; fitting given that I found myself against the forces you had to obey.”

“......Ok, the will of the strong normally trumps it; but one exception can be made for that. Though I can’t remember much about that either; I like your idea.”

Is there something commonplace in their kingdom or world that your character absolutely despises?

“You fuckers got controlled by the Sirens somehow, and I had to deal with the Fifth Carrier Division’s rivalry fueled comments a lot. At least I was able to locate and restore Amagi and have her be my flagship; and have someone to vent to. Sign language is fucking hard to teach.”

“......Why do you know the sign language way of swearing. And why did you teach me it.”

“Hey, if I ever get to the stage where I can say things like Crescent’s lady says to one of her husbands, I will have good use of the word ‘fuck’.”

Has your character experienced war or conflict, directly or indirectly how did it effect them?

“Hey I think we have found why Kaga is so focused on strength.”

“Hey! Though it might be why.....You ended up having to leave your homeland due to the war, right?”

“Yes; but I’m fine so long as I’m near the ocean. I’m always near it, at least until I was summoned here. I miss swimming in the sea....”

“We can go to the beach soon if you want? Me, you, and Kana; it would be nice to spend time together, given who he seems to be related to.”

“That would be nice. We have to find swimwear first, but let’s do that soon.”

What does your character fear most in their world?

“......Kaga, am I allowed to keep a secret? I don’t want to admit my largest fear....Though the second one is losing anyone in my family, but especially you or Kana.”

“Vallite, strength means to overcome your fea-.......I will do my best to never make you relive that fear. And please, do not fall; though if you do, I will avenge you. But I would say share what you fear the most.”

“.....It might involve a lie. One that has lasted years.”

“That could also count as a strength if you can keep it up for years. But I won’t be mad, I promise.”

“Alright; I greatly fear what might happen if anyone finds out what I am. I don’t want to be treated different because I’m a Drago-”

“Wait what?!”

“This is why I ask to keep it secret; I didn’t want to drop tha-” 

Vallite gets stopped by Kaga grabbing her hands.

“.....It’s fine. It explains your appearance changing little over the years. But promise one thing....Do show me your dragon form after this; I want to see the strength you hid from sight.”

Of the fantastical elements in their world what does your character actually find strange, or hard to believe?

“Your kind doesn’t seem to exist.”

“We hide really well. Same can possibly be said for kitsunes, if they remain. But my family are dragons too, so you will get to meet some more once we can return to our world. And there’s.....at least six foxes in the Sakura Empire’s set of ships. That’s more foxes than water lizards.”

Does your character believe in hard, definable good and evils?

“I only believe in the will of the strong.....but I do feel the weak should be allowed to become strong.”

“Oh good, you are learning to be more gentle, dear.”

Any unique traditions where your character is from that wouldn’t work or apply in the real world?

“Kaga prays to Inari; I have seen it. Same with her sisters.”

“And you pay tribute to the seas....”

“That’s for your sake, not mine; you are trespassing, I’m not.”

“Anyways, we are done now; care to explain the dragon thing more now?”

“Fine, though you know most of my past, just it was abridged since it lasted a lot longer than I admitted to. Guess I can fill you in on everything else; though I need to train you to be able to deploy alongside support in the form of a dragon using salvaged battleship cannons.....”

“....You are truly stronger than I knew....”

[rennyji]

July 13th tweets...

July 13th tweets...

So I like all music that sounds good. From Rap to Becky G singing her song “Shower.”

Now, regarding Rap, some of the wording can make things awkward. I was blasting 99 problems remix from Jay Z feat Linkin Park. While listening, I’m at a red light in Tuckahoe. An elderly Caucasian woman walks across the street in front of my car, and Jay Z yells, “Ive got 99 problems but a b*tch ain’t one…” I can only imagine what goes through that old lady’s mind.

now from jay z’s perspective, in what older white men would call street language, when you think about it, from that one line, hes saying he has a slew of problems, but he’s so good or suave with women that, that part of his life is set…so in the spirit of expressions among some men like: “b*tches be trippin…” , it’s a crude way of referring to women for the sake of what is understood and accepted as cool.

Regardless,”99 problems” and the Linkin park remix really stimulate you or is invigorating. So it’s hard not to listen to it for the yelling and the tunes.

Then there’s DMX, God bless his soul.

While he sings”X Gon give it to ya” or even “Lord Give Me A Sign”,he also sings a song (I forget the name…oh yeah…it’s called “X is Coming” by DMX), where one of the lyrics is about how someone crossed him, pushes him, and how he lets his rage and anger manifest in threats. How does he express this? Well for one thing, he says he’ll shoot this guys wife…ummm ok. But then he says, if the guy who messed with him, has a daughter, and she’s 15 (he specifically mentions her as 15), DMX says, he, a grown man, will rape the 15 year old daughter. I mean WTF?! But maybe like poetry, you can’t take it literally, and you gotta see “what he means” or “where this hate?! Is coming from.” To rape a 15 year old daughter, words can’t express his hate for the dad or the offender, so he chooses those words.

“Hes basically saying, if you f*k with him, he won’t stop short of killing you. But he wants to take it a step further and say he is so spiteful, that he will screw you and ur entire family. Point being, don’t f*k with him.”

Even then, though I get where he’s going with lyrics, isn’t raping a 15 year old, pedophilia? Where there’s a Will, there’s a way, and there’s always more than one way to do something or say something. If he wants to express hate, why is this grown man talking that way about 15 year old girls?! I felt awkward with the elderly white woman walking in front of my car at Jay Z saying, I got 99 problems, but a b*tch ain’t one. It would be humiliating if that elderly white woman walked by my car while DMX expresses his hate toward haters, by talking about raping 15 year olds. I mean geez, WTF?! On a comical note, based on “what’s” said and “how” it’s said, theres the song “Last Night”by Diddy and Keyshia Cole. You gotta wonder how Keyshia Cole goes along with Diddy monologuing at the end of the song with :

“

Hello

Hey what's up?

I've been tryin' to reach you all night

That shit ain't funny not picking up the mutha fuckin' phone

Better stop fucking playing with a n*gga's feelings like that

You know how much I love you though right?

But for those couple of seconds though,

When I couldn't get in touch with you.

I'm ready to come over your house and shoot that mutha fucker up

You fuckin' dumb bitch

You better fuckin' not be there when I get over that house

[laughing]

That's really how it goes down right?”

Then there’s rap like from the artist, “Nas.” He has a song called “I can.” 

It’s inspirational, it has a message, the tune or background music just needs to be catchier. 

These rap songs need catchier, classier, diction along with trending or catchy tunes/music.

---

And then there’s Eminem, with “The Way I Am” song.

Part of the lyrics go:

“I don't know you, and no, I don't owe you a mothafuckin' thing

I'm not Mr. N'Sync, I'm not what your friends think

I'm not Mr. Friendly, I can be a prick if you tempt me

My tank is on empty, no patience is in me

And if you offend me, I'm lifting you ten feet in the air

I don't care who was there and who saw me just jaw you

Go call you a lawyer, file you a lawsuit

I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe

I'm tired of all you, I don't mean to be mean

But that's all I can be, it's just me

And I am whatever you say I am

If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?

In the paper, the news, every day I am

Radio won't even play my jam

'Cause I am whatever you say I am

If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?

In the paper, the news, every day I am, huh

I don't know, it's just the way I am”

While I’m about networking, by my core nature of a Libran (only inanimate object in the zodiac: the scales of justice), while I’m about people coming to me, talking to me, me talking to them, I hear this song and wonder about instances where the orchestrators filter what I’m saying or use it for their ends. I think about the instructions given to people under the delusion of “wtf?!” Assisting me?! Did anyone think of talking to me and telling me what’s going on, instead of the signs in a delusional scenario that is the definition of conspiracies and leaning toward what some doctors would see as paranoid schizophrenia?! I mean WTF?!  So there’s that part about not owing anything to anyone. If ur just a stranger randomly eavesdropping into my life, then until you speak to me, I don’t know you, I’m not ur friend NOR ur enemy- I mean that’s reality, that’s what the song gets at, that’s how human relationships start out.

I’m writing this, not because I’m presently mad, but because I’m relating to words in a rap song by, a somebody: Eminem. I’m nobody, minding his own business. They blame Eminem for being mean or aggressive with lyrics. But in my “situation” and adult years, I see a guy talking about dealings with human nature, while trying to fix things with his wife, and do everything he can for his daughter. Ive said before, anger can be a source of fuel for ur goals or to get a point across. I mean, under this retarded “make him a role model type hero cr*p, for the no culture or no British style class that is America”, the orchestrators like to press my buttons. The extent they go with pushing buttons is -I’m not just saying this- a type of evil that the mind just can’t digest or grasp.  That’s a bit of info my brain cannot process, grasp, or comprehend. There’s something worse than the teenage type sounds projected or whatever it is that others hear- I keep saying that.

But it’s like Gospel, they have eyes, but don’t see, ears: and don’t hear…

the orchestrators you know about, are so arrogant with thinking they control every aspect of my life, they need to consider where they’re not. They push me, and like Eminem’s rap, “push me/tempt me, then I’m lifting you ten feet in the air…”

I went for the path of computer science and engineering instead of being a doctor like my brother. I would joke to people ages ago, “I don’t have the ‘patience’ to deal with ‘patients.’ ” People are so complicated…language difficulties, talking to non native English speakers, cultural differences,filters they have in their heads/biases, stereotypes they believe in- I mean what a headache. The orchestrators have people believing I’m friendless loser, while they actively keep people away from me. But in the words of Eminem, whatever f*ers, “I am whatever you say I am…”

---

In “Gangstas paradise” by Coolio, there’s one part of the song that goes “you don’t know what’s going on in the kitchen…” it’s incredible what speaks to you in ur adult years…cuz clearly I’m thug…I mean even with all the mind cr*p and technology, not because of ego or arrogance or pride, you and the orchestrators don’t know what’s truly going on in my head, in my house, wherever.

Like rap, I am the meaning behind the lyrics.

---

From The original Hulk/1st ever version of the Hulk movie soundtrack, great themes or scores. Also a great song called “set me free”

“Hey Mama” - one of my favorite songs from Nicki Minaj to blast out while driving…

Great Running music - “Confident” - I think by Demi Lovato … another song of hers that I like “Really Don’t Care”: like that part of the song with the words and background music to “even if the stars and moon collide…”

I miss Beyoncé in Destiny’s Child with songs like “Survivor” … I feel it gets the same point across as DMX’s “X is Coming” without some of the questionable ideas in his lyrics…

---

Haiku Asian Bistro in Bronxville lets you eat a quality variety of East Asian food in a New York City feel…about the NYC feel, I dunno, sitting by the window, watching the traffic of people walk by, along with cars, through those windows, in that bar type low light setting: make you feel or made me feel like I’m in a restaurant in the city…going on a 2 month diet as I’m hideously obese, so while I miss and crave sesame chicken with fried rice, I hope you enjoy quality food as such…

Speaking of which…my family and me got used to sesame chicken over general Tsos chicken, when craving Chinese…I feel everyone in America, including my New York and Texas based cousins, always order General Tso Chicken over Sesame Chicken…I mean why?! Who started that trend?! Though essentially the same, I prefer and am an advocate of Sesame Chicken.

---

Though I’m obsessed with leaving the AC on all day/everyday because of the cool energizing air and the sound of the breeze type air blow, I recently found that my TaoTronics standing tower fan isn’t a bad alternative. I think I have the TaoTronics desk lamp too. I believe I have their standing tower heater but just didn’t have the motivation or energy to try it out…probably as awesome as the desk light and fan…I’m thinking, from my own experience, TaoTronics, and a lot of Asian made products are good stuff or sourced in great ideas. With some of the products I’ve run into recently, what I’m realizing is this:

China now has some great ideas and products, but sometimes you have to return or exchange those awesome ideas because some things were manufactured differently or as defective. Maybe they don’t have the money for better manufacturing plants…I think people should invest there. I mean they have some great ideas and technology for compression massagers for just about everywhere in your body.

Now proud Americans may not like this, as well as what I’ll say next: with the products I’ve encountered recently, America gives off the feel or notion that everything is manufactured identically and the places where things are manufactured are quality factories…but here’s the part probably not liked: from my searches on Amazon, it would seem America lacks the ideas , or innovation, or imagination, that the Chinese are indicating in their products and technology-I mean check out the head massager helmet from Breo. Helps with falling asleep. It’s from a Chinese manufacturer and looks futuristic and the concept works. My only complaint about it was, I had to go through 4 returns, before getting a helmet that was free of manufacturing defects (i.e. some you couldn’t see thru the helmet, some had a part moving inside when moving the helmet up and down, some overheated on one side of the heated helmet while the opposite side was left cold, etc.). It’s like Doc Browns attitude in Back to the Future. With respect to something not looking like it works, 1950s Doc Brown says “no wonder…it’s made in Japan.” Marty McFly responds, “watiya talking about Doc?!…all the best things are made in Japan.” People may feel like Doc Brown about Chinese products right now, but the hard work and imagination of the Chinese will find themselves in Marty’s way of seeing things. I mean these people, be it Chinese, Korean, all East Asian born Asians, tackle every nook and crannie in their hard work. They need opportunities. Not so sure about the ABC’s or the American born East Asians, but those born in Asia and immigrating here, at least people Ive bumped into (as I’m not gonna generalize), they really give their jobs 110%. (To my fellow ABC’s, by Indian standards, I’m an A-B-C-“D” or American Born Confused Desi, so nothing malicious intended, its just in admiration over our immigrant counterparts. They are the living definitions of the “immigrant work ethic.”). I recently went for a men’s pedicure after seeing Will Smith talk about it on an episode of the fresh prince of bel air. The woman who attended to me was Chinese and I just couldn’t help but notice how much detail and energy she puts into the task. I also once had a Chinese masseuse. I was sore all over and wanted to try the “firm” massage. Ive never experienced so much effort, force, and energy. It makes you want to friend people like that. Pride aside, I think a lot can be learned from their discipline, hard work, imagination, and ideas. 

But a thought…

---

So, in my search for non coffee based sources of energy that last long and don’t make you crash, I found things like “Kion Coffee,” Trader Joe’s “Well Rested Tea” (as it turns out Trader Joe’s sells its own interesting varieties of teas), the $4.99 or $3.99 “Rebbl”brand Plant  Based Energy and/or Protein Drinks, and the $2.99 version of Smart Water Renew. Smart Water Renew is composed of dandelions (yeah, freakin’ dandelions give energy!!!) and lemon flavor. But it is ridiculously expensive for one bottle and isn’t available at Shop Rite. I found it at Wegmans in - I think- Harrison, NY, through the InstaCart app. As dandelions seem to be the key, I typed dandelion in the Amazon app, and realize there is a dandelion tea…I hope it gives the same focus as the Smart Water Renew…I mean the tea you can buy in bulk…why are the healthy coffee alternatives expensive?!-I’m assuming it’s because people don’t know about these things and not enough people buy them…

---

Perhaps u’ve heard, “Why worry about tomorrow, when each day has its own concerns.” It’s said, look how God clothes the flowers of the field-that not even King Solomon, in all his splendor, was dressed so beautifully. Are we not more than flowers?!, as is asked. My grandmother would say, when career concerns were expressed, that if God made a person with a mouth, He will also give every mouth created, food to eat-to elaborate: everyone is provided for. I mean “Seek and you will find.” Put in some effort, however so, at least through a prayer or a hopeful/positive thought. I believe everyone, in life, gets what they need, for all that their respective lives throw at them.

Some people may have more things in appearance, but you may have less because you’re that much innately stronger and don’t require as much. While I’m no one, as a small example, since I was in Kindergarten, I could never sit comfortably with my legs folded. The position in yoga is called sukhasana. As a need grew, when I was older, to sit in that position for yoga and meditation, I feel life led me to find the “Alexia Meditation seat” and the means to buy that expensive seat, enabling me to sit long hours with my legs folded. I feel, if we have some faith and do our part, God or The Universe, will provide for us and take care of our needs/desires through direct means, or indirectly, by giving us the needed mental faculties and abilities to achieve our desires.

---

[ricekrispyjoints]

Dima’s top 12 quick and dirty hacks for sounding more proficient in French

Bonjour à toutes et tous !

A friend recently asked for some French help, and I…  got carried away. And made this list. There are probably similar lists out there, but I had a lot of fun making this so OSEF (that’s on s’en fout, or “who cares”).

I realize it’s basically all for spoken (or very casual written) French, but hey, talking is hard, but at least you don’t have to spell anything.

I have more or less put these in the order I (from personal experience) consider to be the easiest to the more advanced/difficult to implement. You may have more luck with one further down the list, who knows. À chacun son style !

(NB: I’m a native speaker of American English currently living in France. I started learning French in 8th grade (~13 years old) and fell in love.) 

Click here to listen to the sample sentences used in the list.

If you would prefer this list in .pdf format, or have any questions/corrections contact me here. 

(Other than typos, I would prefer that only native speakers offer corrections if there is a definition/usage concern.)

At the end of the list is a (short) list of my top English-French resources.

edit: the part about verlan has been updated, thanks to @fcktaken for pointing out the over-simplification.

Bref ! On y va, c’est parti !

1.     Oui= Ouais

Okay, this is an easy one. Instead of saying a strict “yes” all the time, try a “yeah” in your speaking. (It sounds like “weh”, in case you weren’t sure.) Ouais, ça va.

2.      Double subjects French, especially spoken or casual writing, likes to double subjects. It emphasizes who you’re talking about, especially when you’re discussing or comparing multiple subjets.

Use the direct object version and then the subject version of the pronoun:

Moi, j’aimerais bien. Toi, tu as un stylo à me prêter ? Lui, il est parti. Nous, on a déjà fini. (Notice here that “nous” corresponds to the « on ». see trick 3 for more on « on ».) Vous, vous êtes satisfaits ? Eux, ils parlent espagnol.

It also works for objects (at higher levels you will get yelled at for doing this in academic settings but everyone does it so fight me).

La chaise, elle est confortable ?

Le cahier, il est où ?

Le français, c’est une langue compliquée. (Fun fact:  the c’ in c’est comes from ça which comes from cela, which is the official subject form “it”. I did not know this until literal years into my French education. Don’t worry about it.)

 In questions, the direct object version (moi, toi, lui, etc) goes at the end :

Tu as des sœurs, toi ?

Il a réussi à l’examen, lui ?

3.      “Nous” is out; « on » is in Especially when speaking, but also in more casual writing (and even in some scientific research papers, despite what my professors all say), instead of saying “nous”, use “on”. It uses the same conjugation as “il/elle” singular. –Caroline, qu’est que tu as fait avec ton amie hier ? –On est allées au ciné le soir. On s’est bien amusées ! (Note: you must show agreement with whoever the « on » is referring to! That’s why there’s an extra e and an s here: two girls = es ending.)

Nous, on a déjà fini le projet.

It can also be used to refer to people in general, as in “you have to pass a test to become a teacher”, where “you” is just some person in general, and no one specific. In English, we can also say “one”, as in “one must pass an exam…” but it sounds kind of snooty or pretentious. In French ? Very casual. Very common.

On doit passer un examen pour devenir prof. On dirait que c’est de ta faute !

On est plus fort quand on a bien dormi. (Note : for a general use, no agreement is necessary. So just “fort”, not “forts” or “fortes”.)

4.      Drop the “ne” from your negations Ok so your professor might not like this, and you should definitely still write it. But when speaking, most French people (young and old except for absolute sticklers) do not say the “ne” in a “ne__ pas” (or “ne __ rien”, “ne __ plus, etc.) construction unless they are really trying to emphasize the negative. Again, this is for speaking only. J’ai pas de stylo. Vous êtes pas d’accord ?

Là j’ai rien compris.

Il peut plus continuer à courir.

Vous voyez personne ?

 5.     Contractions with je suis, je sais pas, and tu es/tu as

When speaking quickly, French speakers tend to contract certain sounds. Think of the English “I’m going to” becoming “I’m gonna”. In French, there a few common spoken (or chatspeak 😉) contractions:

Je suis: Chuis contente de te voir! ALSO Chu contente de te voir ! (Remember that in French, « ch » makes an English « sh » sound.)

Je sais pas : Chais pas trop. (Remember, we abandoned our « ne”! For some reason, the affirmative “je sais” doesn’t really get contracted as “chais”.)

 Tu es : T’es très gentille !

Tu as : T’as un vélo, toi ?  

6.      Filler words Get rid of your “um”s and “uh”s and replace them with things like “euh”, “ben” or “fin”: Je suis… fin, je suis pas content de voir ça.

Ben, écoute, il y a plus que ça dans la vie !

7.      “du coup” This is a spoken/casual replacement for “donc” and I swear native French speakers use it in every conversation. I honestly thought it was just a random filler word for literally weeks the first time I lived in France. Any time you want to say “so” or “therefore”, try du coup instead of “donc”:

Du coup, j’ai oublié l’heure du rendez-vous.

J’ai raté le train, du coup je suis arrivé en retard.

On comprend pas les consignes, du coup on peut pas finir le projet.

8.     « N’importe quoi ! »

Okay this is a very self-indulgent because this is like. My favorite thing to say in French. It’s a very flexible phrase, and hard to “directly” translate into English. Here are a few scenarios where it works well:

·       To say « anything »: Tu peux faire n’importe quoi avec un diplôme de Business. (This might be the original usage? But not the most fun…)

·       Someone says something totally false or incorrect and you want to call them out (a tiiiny bit rudely): Mais tu dis n’importe quoi !

·       Something is ridiculous or nonsensical: C’est vraiment du n’importe quoi…

·       When someone is doing who-knows-what: Tu fais du n’importe quoi!

9.     Le subjonctif

Listen. I’m really sorry. As a native English speaker, I had no idea what the subjunctive was. We don’t inflect it in English, and there’s a shit load of irregular stems, and sometimes the use of subjunctive seems random and doesn’t follow the “rules” our teachers give us. (Welcome to language, where everything is made up and rules don’t matter.) However, it’s really common in French. Anyway, even if you don’t master this mood, there are a few common phrases and irregular forms you should pay attention to:

·       Il faut + infinitive: the easiest one. Seriously, you got this one.

·       Il faut que j’y aille : I gotta go ! (aille is from aller) (please don’t ask me what the “y” is for; it’s a pronoun for a place but like… where are you going? Somewhere… Just don’t forget it.)

·       Il faut que je fasse… : I have to do/make… (fasse is from faire)

·       Il faut que tu sois/ça soit/vous soyez … : You/One/Y’all must be…. (sois/soit/soyez is from être)

10. Complain more

You think I’m kidding ? Okay, I am a little bit. But if you have the opportunity, a little whining never hurt anyone. According to my sources, 25% of French culture is complaining.

Here’s a few phrases to try out:

Ça craint! (That sucks!)

C’est chiant, ça. (A bit vulgar, so mind your audience.)

J’ai des devoirs à faire mais j’en veux paaaaas. (really draw it out)

Mais non, c’est pas possible… (with a sense of despair)

 When in doubt, just fais la grève (go on strike).

11.Slang (argot) and swearing (gros mots)

Learning and integrating slang is… difficult. It varies regionally, it doesn’t translate directly, and if you’re only using French in a classroom setting, your teacher probably wants you to use more formal (and polite) French. BUT. It’s fun and if you spend time around native speakers in a casual setting, they will probably use a shitload of it. Here is a small selection of my favorites:

·       Bordel: literally a brothel, you can use this to say something is a mess (J’ai pas fait le ménage depuis longtemps… Mon appart’ est un bordel…)

·       Je m’en fous !: The more aggressive/vulgar cousin of “je m’en fiche” and “ça m’est égal » (all meaning various degrees of “I don’t care”), tell people you don’t give a fuck with this expression.

·       Abréviations communes : la faculté (université) becomes la fac, d’accord becomes d’acc, personnellement becomes perso, ne t’inquiète pas becomes t’inquiète (negation ? don’t know her). There are loads others, but those are the ones that come to mind right away.

·       Putain (‘tain): roughly the French equivalent of “fuck”. Use it as an exclamation, or add “de” and a noun to say “fucking (thing)”: putain de stylo ! Il y a plus d’encre !

·       Merde/marde: literally “shit”, another common French swear. Merde is the French-from-France version, marde is the Canadian-French version that I also use because I think it sounds better. Feeling really angry? Try combining it with “putain” for “putain de merde/marde” for a nice, resounding “fucking shit!”

·       Verlan: I personally don’t like/use verlan, but you might hear it among younger (teen/young adult) native speakers, especially those in urban/immigrant areas. it’s a heavily cultural kind of slang, but many words have entered “mainstream” French. Check out the french wiki for more on verlan (the English wiki is less complete re: cultural significance, but explains the form a bit). This is only on the list so you recognize what the hell people are saying when you hear it. The 2 most common ones I hear are meuf (femme) and ouf (fou).

·       Wikebec.org: If you want to learn a lot of very diverse Canadian French (including slang and swearing, which is a whole art), check out wikebec. It is all in French, so if you’re not as advanced you may need an additional French-English dictionary.

 12. Punctuation (aka I am passionate about silly things you can honestly skip this one I won’t be sad)

Wow, something about formal writing! So this is getting kind of knit-picky, and if you switch your word-processor language to French, it will do this automatically for you. Anyway, punctuation in formal French writing is a little different from English. Obviously, where and how many commas there are is very nuanced and I’m not going to get into much here, but here’s a few stylistic things to consider for the Advanced Schmoozer  Student of French™:

·       Commas in a list (virgules dans une série)

Ok so in English, I am an Oxford Comma Stan. The French have cordially invited me to go fuck myself. Here’s an English example WITH the Oxford comma, followed by the French translation withOUT the Oxford comma:

I bought milk, eggs, and fruit at the store.

J’ai acheté du lait, des œufs et des fruits au supermarché.

(The Oxford comma is the one after “eggs” in my example. It’s not there in French. It’s not a thing in French.)

·      Quotation marks (des guillemets) You may have noticed in this document that for the French words, there are some accent looking things. Those are quotation marks. In narrative writing, these bad boys are largely ignored, but if you use MS Word with a French dictionary turned on, it will automatically turn your English “ “ into French « ». (See next point for further usage instructions.) « Les guillemets français sont différents de ceux d’anglais. »

·       Extra spaces For all punctuation except periods and commas, an extra space is used. This means that colons (:), semicolons (;), quotation marks, question marks, and exclamation points have an extra space. Again, if you set your language to French, MS Word should do this automatically for you, but it looks like this:

 Tu parles à qui ?

J’étais choqué !

Il faut faire attention ; sinon on va se tromper.

Danger : entrée interdite !

Le mot « putain » est vulgaire.

Quelques ressources utiles et d’autres conseils

This is by no means an exhaustive list of all the resources that I’ve used throughout my French education. BUT, these are the ones I frequently use and find easiest to navigate.

·       www.wordreference.com Ok if you’re not already using wordreference and you are a fluent English speaker learning French, honestly what are you doing. Love yourself. It’s not perfect, but it’s by far the best online English-French dictionary I’ve used. (There is also a Spanish-French dictionary, but as my Spanish isn’t that advanced, I can’t speak personally to its accuracy.) Highlights of WR: easy to use, free app for phones/tablets, audio pronunciation for most (perhaps all?) main entries (and IPA transcription, if you know IPA), extensive phrases/expressions/idioms per entry, lots of example sentences (though not for every definition), forum with discussions of usage in context.

Just like any dictionary, pay attention to the part of speech and context: don’t just pick the first translation! Make sure it’s the version you want for your sentence.

·       https://www.linguee.fr/francais-anglais

Another good online French-English dictionary, though I don’t use it as much.

·       http://bonpatron.com/ A spelling and grammar checker! The free version has a character limit, but you can just cut your original text into smaller chunks and check it in parts instead of all at once if you pass the limit.

Highlights: Will tell you the general rule for errors it identifies (in English! As long as you make sure the “I’m a francophone” box is NOT checked), distinguishes between “double check this” (yellow highlight) and “just wrong” (red highlight), will check for feminine adjective agreement if you check the “je is feminine” box

·       www.french.typeit.org

If you don’t want to install a French keyboard, memorize keyboard shortcuts, or spend 5 minutes searching for your accents in the “insert symbol” menu of word, typeit.org offers a free, online French keyboard. You can use their shortcuts or click on the button with the accent you want. Only downside is that you gotta copy paste it back into your document, but I used it a lot back in high school for typed French assignments.

·       http://soutien67.free.fr/francais/francais.htm

Okay, hear me out: yes, this is a site for grade school teachers to help their kids learn French (as native speakers). BUT, there are a BUTTLOAD of conjugation exercises, vocabulary builders, and they all have answer keys! Available in .doc and .pdf format.

“Fiches” is where you want to go for the worksheets. It has downloadable worksheets, and then you can either choose a grade level or just start scrolling. The worksheets are organized by category, like “lire” with short stories and poems (for kids, so eh idk if that’s interesting), “grammaire” (goes more into parts of speech and such, but all in French), “orthographe” (spelling/writing rules), and “conjugaison” (our good friend verbs).

For the niveaux (levels): CP= 1st grade, when kids learn to read. These are likely not what you are looking for. CE1= 2nd grade, CE2= 3rd grade, CM1= 4th grade, CM2= 5th grade. Obviously gets more complicated/harder the higher the level.

So if you can put up with the grade school approach and you want more practice, check out what they have. (If you can’t find what you’re looking for, ask me and I will help you find what you need.)

 If you made it this far…. Félicitations. You either have too much time on your hands, are very dedicated to French, or maybe both. 

Merci et au revoir !!

[karanguni]

[Japanese] Language Learning Signup

So, I've been thinking about how to get around to starting language learning posts here with you all. It's been awesome seeing a general interest in getting back up with Japanese, but it is tricky when we are all at different levels of formal/informal education and exposure, have different learning styles, and have no native speaker to reference. This post is going to be two things: a general braindump, because on weekdays my capacity for critical thinking gets expended in the office trying not to murder people whom I want to send to http://www.lmgtfy.com, and also a general signup to commit to some goals.

Braindump

If years of academic Japanese have taught me anything, it is that critical mass is the most important part of acquisition. This guy over at All Japanese All The Time may sound quacky and weird, but the core of his ideas are right, IMHO: there is a time and place for rote repetition, and often picking up a new language is it. The trick – I think – is that certain types of rote work better than other types of rote depending on who you are. I was very surprised, when I briefly stayed for more than just a holiday in Japan, to find that rote memorisation of vocabulary (literally going alphabetically)... worked. But that was because I was immediately exposed to usage, and there was a constant feedback active/passive loop. I'm going to try to provide that exposure, but at the same time rote has got to work for the individual since – short of switching all your internet browsing over to JP – it's hard to get effective reinforcement. Picking a non-English/first-language aid/crutch to make rote effective might be the key here: visual people might go for picture flashcards, audio people might try to memorise a song, textual people a Japanese-to-Japanese definition or reading in general. That's my meta on "picking stuff up" in general. But there are whole categories of stuff to "pick up" – reading comprehension, listening comprehension, writing fluency, speaking fluency. I'm going to focus almost entirely on reading and listening, with a side-step into writing to reinforce the two and copying spoken Japanese by natives to do the same. I'm nowhere near native, and will not pretend to be: I'm not going to teach or co-learn aspects that I'm not native in. It's fairly important to emphasis the "do not co-learn badness" part here: reinforcing bad and/or plain wrong ideas can be fundamentally terrible for you. Even then, it leaves a lot of stuff to cover, and a lot of ways which it can crossover into more intense practice in the writing/speaking domain.

Goals

So - goals! NYRs! Whatever you want to call what you want to achieve! I'm thinking we do this on a week-by-week basis, because long-term goals are hard to hit: it's easy to overpromise and even easier to underdeliver. Weekly checkins with others = peer pressure = good pressure. Even if a goal is dropped, rolling it over to the next week is easy. Then there can be big picture goals: things you want to achieve that you might not get 100% of the way through but that will guide weekly aims. These can go up to the end of the year. Here are mine for the upcoming week:

Write a post a week with original material catered directly to people's questions or difficulties

Work through, by rote, 10 常用漢字 per week including all phrase-words

Translate at least half of a rakugo story and publish it here

And my bigger goals:

Write a website or flashcard tool or GDocs thing so that people can have printable, submittable worksheets/exercises

Get through my kanji book by doing the 10/week minimum by the end of the year

Watch at least 12 episodes of something in Japanese with only Japanese subtitles by the end of the year

Switch over to only using Japanese-to-Japanese dictionary lookups by March

If you're interested in tagging along – whether you're seeing this post now, or at any time at all while I'm still updating my journal with the tag "Japanese" – leave a comment with yours. Depending on what people jot down, I'll plan for the next post!

Prep

Until the next post, here are some things you can do to get yourself prepared and/or excited. Physical Study & Practice Materials Don't even bother typing when you do any exercises – go straight to pen and paper, and then type in response to posts here. Muscle memory is your friend, and it's really nice to write things physically! Get a nice writing implement while you're at it. Ballpoint and 0.5mm pencil will smudge the least; gel will be smudgier; nibs will be painful. Muji has great pens and Japanese writing supplies if you're lucky enough to live near one. You're going to be writing a lot: enjoy the experience! (I hated coming to America where most writing paper felt like sandpaper. It makes a difference when you're doing repetitive exercises, let's just say that.) Then get good writing paper. Cheap: get a notebook, preferably one without any lines, or at least faint ones, or one that's gridded. You want to not feel like you're cramping your kana and kanji. I'm a big fan of nice paper, so I'd be happy to send people notebooks! Slightly more expensive: find and print grid paper online. Henceforth, we shall call it by its given name: 原稿用紙 genkoyoushi. One PDF source here. Prettier and better ones with kanji grids. Print a whole bunch for your weekly goals! Expensive: Japanese stationary stores (and some Asian marts) in the US will have 原稿用紙 for sale in tear-off gum pads or in practice notebooks. Japanese IMEs I'll write a separate post on getting set up on this because this one is already the length of the moon, but you should get your computer set up to switch cleanly between English and Japanese IME inputs. Google has an IME that introduces crowdsourcing to typing: this is awesome, because suggestions that pop up are going to be the most-used ones. I default keyboard switching on all my systems to something like CMD-SPACE or WINDOWS-SPACE. Dictionary/Grammar/Practice Books If you're just starting out, resist the urge to buy anything just yet. I have tens of reference books I've never cracked open beyond an initial gleeful reference. Books that are really useful in my experience: one good physical introduction-level book if you're just starting out. This can be Genki, Minna no Nihongo, or any equivalent. Make it a goal to go through each chapter. Write on every margin. Use the hell out of it: make it worth your money. Other useful books are JLPT practice books. Stores like Kinokuniya will often have entire sections dedicated to them. They sometimes come in trilingual or quadrulingual mode, English/Korean/Mandarin/Japanese being the most common. If you have one of the other two (Korean/Mandarin), they provide a interesting triangulation onto certain grammatical or vocabulary contexts, though the quality isn't necessarily always 100%. I'll grab some PDF'd materials that I'll put up into f-locked posts – those will get you through just about anything else. For kanji, don't pick up a dictionary unless you plan on using it. I've got some recommendations if you do want one, but in the meantime sites like Jisho.org will get you through just about anything. On the iPhone side of things, imiwa? is an invaluable app. Audio/Visual This will be expanded further along, but now is a good time to figure out if you like listening to songs, or anime, or Netflix original series. Shows like 深夜食堂 (shinya shokudou/Midnight Diner) on Netflix have both English and Japanese subtitles in addition to being good introductions to aspects of Japanese culture and types of speech – I highly recommend watching them in English now, and then gradually trying to pick up things from the Japanese subtitles later. My Old Posts I did a short-lived and more disorganised equivalent of this last year: if you're starting from the kana or basic grammar level, it might be good to go back through those posts. If you're interested in More Estorericer Stuff, I once wrote a post on classical Japanese and the opening lines of the Tale of Heike. It's written sort of terribly, but if it interests people I would love to do more of that – gotta keep in practice. comments Comment on DW: http://ift.tt/2Flb5FF

[wernerherzogs]

When you decided to take break from anons and kinda from Fandom I felt so lonely bc I hope that don't sound creepy but I always went to your blog to see what you're saying and speaking to you even behind anon was fun you were like kinda Fandom sister to me if this make sense jgjshjfkevxow there's something special about you that it's hard to tell whag bc there's many good things and your sense of humor is 😙 and the fact that you don't live inside a Fandom bubble make you more unique

oh anon. :') a fandom sister!!!! this made my heart feel SO WARM. i'm honoured to hear that you feel that way about this blog, that it brings you some sort of comfort! i can only hope this continues in the future 💞 i'm sending you heaps of love. 😚💐

for the record though (and a PSA for new followers i guess) my inbox wasn't closed because of fandom. i was really busy in rl and not in the best place mentally, so i just needed this blog to be a place where i could reblog stuff and not think, you know? i love talking to you guys, but answering loads of asks in your non native language can be exhausting for a mentally ill person. i can't quickly record answers here, i gotta type it all out, and some asks require longer answers (and result in me stressing about being understandable&making typos and other mistakes). the people i talk to regularly on and off tumblr know that i often don't respond on time, but i feel extra pressure to do it quickly when it's kind strangers writing to me anonymously. but it can be very time consuming, and naturally i have my life&affairs outside of tumblr, too, so sometimes when loads of asks amass i just get anxious over something that's supposed to be fun. i'm not writing this to make anyone feel bad or to discourage you from writing to me!!!! i just wanted to say that i will still be closing inbox from time to time, because i simply need it, and that i might not always respond on time even when it's open (and even if i hit reblog button on other posts in the meantime). that doesn't mean i'm ignoring anyone! i will respond eventually, i just tend to leave messages i need to spend some more time on for later, that's all. thank you all for always being so kind when you write to me, it means so, so much!! 🤗💞💞💞 i hope you guys understand where i'm coming from with this PSA. tbh i'm also trying to like... spend way less time on the internet in general, so yes, sometimes i'll still be going mia with my inbox. 💐

[asksythe]

Status Update - July 2017

Ah, I disappeared for a month and received no less than 4 concerned messages from people wanting to know if I was ok. 

I bet you thought I died!!!!! 

But the truth is even more amazing! I became a zombie!!! A coffee zombie!!! 

...... cooooofffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........

Haha!! Ok, ok, I’ll tell you what happened in the last month and why I disappeared. You see, I took the CELTA course. 

https://www.studycelta.com/?gclid=CLP1wrqk-tQCFdglvQodBW8ICQ

For people who don’t know what it is, the CELTA is arguably the most prestigious cert for teaching English language to non-native adults. The course is incredibly intensive and requires you to commit to it a hundred percent for one month (at least 9am - 5pm but usually it’s a lot more than that). During this course, I regularly worked 14-16 hours a day (class time, prepping for teaching practices, doing the written assignments, so on so forth) and had roughly 3-4 hours of sleep per day. And that went on for an entire month. 

And so that is why you did not see me for that month because I was just up to my eyeballs in work and study materials.

Now, why did I take the CELTA when I have a perfectly good job as a pro biographer and freelance mag writer? Well... because it was a gift. You see, apparently, my father had had enough of my hermit way (helped along by the nature of my job which does not require me to go to any office like the typical office drone people). He ... also wanted grandchildren... and I wasn’t giving him any because of my strict rules of never ever mixing personal and professional life barring me from having a steady relationship in recent years... so.... well... you know what desperate Asian fathers can sometimes do (aside from borrowing the neighbor children to play with and pretend that they are grandparents)... he went and gave me this course as a gift and I wasn’t gonna turn down free learning.... 

... So... I went... I cleared out my entire schedule for a whole month and went. 

... But my friends, there’s more!!!! 

You see, during the course, I... developed a crush... on the tutor (or teacher). Ahahahaha..... how embarrassing, but it happened. He’s this grim and dour no-nonsense professor type who speaks softly but never fails to get your attention (because if you don’t, woe befalls you) and who will only occasionally crack an obligatory smile at somebody’s poor attempt at a joke. When I first saw him... well... there was no spark, just a foreboding feeling. I knew then that I don’t want to mess with this person for whatever reason. But then my friends, one day he smiled at me for whatever reason that was I can’t even remember. And... damn... what a smile it was. He looks like a different person when he genuinely smiles. I was completely caught off guard. And for some reason, he just smiles at me a lot. So, my friends... it happened. Before I knew it, my heart started going badump badump badump around him. 

I’m an INTP (Myers-Briggs type). Despite common misconception, INTPs are actually incredibly passionate people. It’s just that we don’t normally show it. My emotions when I admitted to myself that I had it bad were extreme...and sorta bipolar too... 

Sometimes I felt like a teenage girl on her first crush. My thoughts and feelings were... innocent and tender... for a lack of better words. I wanted to embrace him and kiss him on the cheek and tell him to take me home already where we can build our lives together. I would be a happy housewife and devote myself to making him happy. We were gonna have like 5 children and a house with picket fences together. Yes, my teeth nearly rotted during those times too.

But then there are times when all I wanted was just to throw him into a locked room where I would have my wicked ways with him (involving a whole lot of BDSM stuff too). I just wanted to rip off his clothes and make him cry and kneel before me and writhe on the floor, completely helpless. I wanted to break him, to put him in chains and collar, to trample on him, to draw bloody lines on his skin and kiss the lids of his green eyes and leave a trail of bite marks on his face, his neck, his shoulders. I wanted to mark him thoroughly. I want to stamp him with a line saying ‘My possession! Mine! Mine! Mine!’

What did I say about INTPs being secretly incredibly passionate people? Yeah... haha

Well... you know... nothing happened during the course, of course. I’m a grown ass person after all and I wasn’t going to make it uncomfortable for anybody nor jeopardize my getting the ultra hard certificate (that cost a frigging lot of money too). But on the day that the course ended and I knew I had passed, I wrote a love letter... and gave it to him... 

You can read it here right below: 

........

You normally look like such a grim and dour person, it’s sorta scary. But surprisingly, you have a very nice, kind smile. 

OK. Serious question. Are you single? 

If it’s a no, well... I wil say I enjoy the many times my heart went badump badump badump whenever you made that ‘quietly amused’ expression and write this off as yet another silly crush of mine. 

But in case it’s a yes and I’m not shaking the wrong trees hoping for apples to fall down, then.... wanna share cat-related battle scars sometimes? 

.............

Well... a day after that, he replied by email. Oh my friends.... my grim and dour person... was already taken.... ahh...     

This is my reply: 

‘Ok,

I’ll go play Heartbreak Hotel on loudspeakers now. Thank you for giving me a straight answer. It was nice to have a crush for a short while. I knew it was a long shot anyway. I hope you and your partner have a happy and fulfilling relationship.’ 

Ah, my friends, I sounded so calm and chill in that email, but in truth, my heart was a storm. I writhed in pain and pleasure. Ahh.... it hurt... so... so good.... 

You know... to have your heart go badump badump badump when someone smiles at you is one among the many great joys of life. Even when it doesn’t come to anything, even when you make a fool of yourself in the name of love, it’s still all worth it. And with me, it’s doubly worth it because... I... I love the way it hurt... I love the way he cut me like this... 

Ahh... my heart trembles even now. You know... I said I was a passionate creature didn’t I? But it’s not easy to make me feel. I need something like this to move me. 

But.. but it was too short! The course was too short! My crush was too short! So it didn’t quite have the impact it could have had it been longer!! He didn’t make me cry! It was too short! This pain passed too swiftly! He was too gentle and considerate! Ah, as expected of my no-nonsense but surprisingly kind teacher. 

Ah, I want to scream out ‘hurt me more! Cut me deeper! Make me gasp for breath and hang onto you desperately! Break my heart properly, won’t you?’

Ahahahaha, now you are reminded that I’m the person who wrote Tis Femina and Gaara Interlude and enjoyed every minute of it!!!! 

Ah... 

And that’s what happened to me in the last month and a half. Anyhow, I finished with the course now (and passed it!) so now I’m back in the game with extra creative juice flowing (courtesy of that swift heartbreaking!!!). I’m gonna try and finish the several half-written chapters I have lying around. 

Anyhow, have a great weekend, everyone!!! 

P.S: anybody wants to date? I’m on the hunt!! I gotta assuage my desperate Asian father who wants grandchildren already you know? 

I’m serious! 

[avengermariahill]

Hi! Non native English speaker here.🙋🏻‍♀️

As people before me said, I also write in English from the start. I think writing in your own language then translating would cost you too much time, than just writing in English and editing.

You already have dictionary and grammar tools, I also do and I've observed many native English speakers use them, because coming up with synonyms is hard. My little advice is using Google docs, because it offers corrections on misspellings. I've learned English by mostly listening, and because of that I make a lot of spelling errors. Using docs is helpful on that.

Obviously reading other fanfics or books goes without saying.

Also, my school system was too heavy on grammar and that really effected me. But writing isn't just about that. What I mean is, when writing a dialogue, even though I think 'going to, want to' are correct, in speaking it comes out as 'gotta, wanna', and you have to write them as such.

But know that your first writing won't be great. It's a learning experience. You can't keep better if you don't keep writing. Maybe if you decide to post, put an endnote like 'I'm not a native speaker and I accept constructive criticism'. It's a boost of morale for me when people comment on that.

The fandom in my language isn't too interested in fanfics, so I want to post them for English-speaking fandom. I gathered some useful tools for grammar and dictionaries but I still would like to ask other creators for tips in this field. Do you try to write in English from the start (I'm not confident about this)? How do you work with your documents while translating? And if you have useful tools/apps I'd be happy to know!

Excellent question! Non-native English writers: share your resources! :)