#i gotta figure out my lamb design

[sky-skeks]

[donutfloats]

Once again fighting with Heket’s design because of her four eyes

Why did you have to have four eyes, why….

[daydreaming-jessi]

“There’ve been many souls that have come and gone from the flock, some are just more memorable than others.”

Decided to doodle some cultists I’ve come up for in fics, had in my actual game, or a cool idea i came up with on the spot. Oh and Sozo and Webber are here too :D This is by no means the entirety of the cult, and there may be future followers that stand out too, but for now enjoy these guys. Feel free to ask about them I guess lmao

I will be putting down my written notes under a cut since they’re so small and scribbly ^^;

Brother Tyr, head priest, he/him: The Lamb's 3rd closest. Very stressed despite doing his job for 200 years. Tries and fails to be a peacekeeper in the cult. Tyr and Nari argue a lot.

Brother Narinder, head mortician, he/him: Don't piss him off. The Lamb's spouse. Best source of info on the crowns and outside world. Can do any job around the temple and will. When the Lamb isn't around.

Sister Merbre, temple organizer, she/her: Helob loves her. The main reason the temple runs when Lamb is gone. Has a surprising realist view. Everyone loves her. Romantic at heart.

Yeon, general worker, she/her: Has to let loose in demon form or else. Together with Julno. Friends with Narinder. Seeking absolution from her past crimes. 'Encouraged' Narinder to court Lamb.

Tyna, assistant mortician, they/them: Cult's head goth. Runs the slam poetry night. Also does piercings and tats.

Nanaon, retired missionary, she/her: One of the Lamb's most faithful. Insists she's not that old and can still work. One of the few mortals to earn the respect of both Deaths.

Firyn, farmer, he/him: A worker. Great with people and plants. Born after the fall of the Old Faith. Leshy's companion. Doesn't know the horrors yet. People tend to underestimate him.

Pura, general worker, she/they: Likes Firyn. Likes to manipulate things to her benefit. Doesn't like Leshy. Doesn't realize what being an ex-bishop means. Genuinely respects the Lamb.

Almer, refinery worker, he/him: Shamura's friend. Easy going. Wants a big family. A good confidant. Gives great hugs.

Grayden, silk sorter, they/them: Shamura's friend. Quiet but a beautiful singer. A shy pushover, but will snap.

Julno, farmer, he/him: Came with the 'coward' trait. Still scared of the Lamb, and Yeon's 'bestie' Narinder. Together with Yeon. Doesn't know her murderous urges.

Poppy, she/her: Best friends with Webber, youngest of the cult. Brave and tenacious Webber, he/them: Best friends with Poppy, youngest of the cult. Gentle and curious.

Dr. Sozonius, researcher, he/him: Amnesiac. Lamb is helping him find home. Extremely well educated about biology. Does not like the spider stalking him, or the mushroom.

Keeper, record keeper, she/him: Face is always obscured. Hates the Dark. Doesn't talk about his past. Has a strange locket that ticks. Always smells of salt.

Joobre, refinery worker/tailor, he/them: Loves working with silk. Has tea with Berith. Likes gold jewelry.

Thorty, bartender, he/him: Fights with Nari a lot. Short temper. Best with the drunks.

Bregrear, smith, he/him: Quiet. Knows his way around weapons. Old hat at this point. Hopes to retire in peace.

Harbre, smith apprentice/missionary, any pronouns: Hot tempered. Looks up to Bregrear. Married to Bathin, chases off suitors neither of them like. Longs to master their craft. Protective.

Anar, miner/lumberjack, he/him: Distrusting. Hard worker. Doesn't exactly trust the Lamb, but willing to give the cult a shot. Starts fights.

Fun-Gui, researcher assistant, they/them: Weirdly obsessed with Sozo. Self proclaims as his assistant. Other mushroomos don't like them. Always goopy and dripping.

Hajal, traitor, she/her: Left the cult. Status unknown.

[xblueshin]

lil sketches of the redesign I'm giving to my shitten!

I felt the first one was rushed and too unoriginal, at least for my standards. 

I decided to change their hair/wool so now it's curly instead of the generic looking hair I gave them before. I'm still unsure about the shape of the horns, the colors won't be like in the sketch but I want to try some ideas with the colors black and red, or maybe gold, I gotta see.

I'm starting to decide a bit about their personalities and dynamics with Nari and Lamb, but to deepen it, I have to figure out for good how I want to characterize them as well. for now I just have a general idea. 

And lastly, I think I have chosen a name for them as well, Viduus! I did some research and found this minor Roman god called Viduus. His job was to separate the soul from the body after their death, and I thought it was fitting as the name of the child of death.

old design (in the first design I drew them as a kid, in the sketches they are grown up):

btw, I'm also very sorry for the low activity on social media; my mental health is a bit all over the place, and it's hard to get myself to finish a single sketch, let alone a finished drawing. so sorry again guys.

[theotheradversary]

7. Then war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon¹, and the dragon¹ and his angels² fought back.

8. But he was not strong enough, and they² lost their place in heaven.

9. The great dragon¹ was hurled down³ — that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan¹, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him³.

— Revelation 12:7–10 (NIV)

¹Samael<Lucy's angel name>, Lucifer, The Morningstar etc. funnily enough i wasn't aware that He is the Twin of Michael.

² pretty much what we already knew. More angels were "cast down"³ than just Lucifer. Just remember like him, the other cast down angels have self assigned names to show they are independent from the control of god, gone from the light. On a random tangent, i cannot remember what Asmodeus's father's name is (child of angel and man). I do love the name. Maybe it was Azazel? That tickles that memory a bit.

Anyways....

They're not one of the Lamb as they were created to be. Remember, they are this god's first children, designed to only obey and follow that bastards orders like blind, unquestioning servants. Which is pretty much a big part of Samael evolution into the "now", Lucifer's identity.

The Bible often refers to Samael/Lucifer as a dragon or serpent. I wish they kept the ancient bit as to make a point of Lucy being an eternal, always has and always will exist Adversary of that bastard.

Yeah..... Even if Deities or their servants are created later in "eternal time"(sorry, that's the best way i can describe it), they will always have always been and will always be. It's a thing throughout all religions that mention eternal beings. But anyways, forget that and angel names stuff for the time being. That can be a fun topic of its own. Also it's hard.... Lineages and such get involved. As you can imagine, it gets pretty messy.

³ Cast down. Onto The Earth. From there they influenced early humanity before being forced into what we know as Hell. My memory fails me as to why and how they were forced "below" The Earth, but I'll find out as i read more... Probably found in more detail and more entertaining in more of the older Bibles, deuterocanonical stuff and other "inspired" writings.

Oh well. We can learn that together! Or you can tell me and I'll post about it, then find ways to expand and reference beyond the prompt.... Though I'll do references next time. I just went off memory for most of this bar the passage from Revelation. Which i should have done here, with this post.

But it's a bit of a quick "damnit, it's irritating me! Wiki will know that bit!"... Followed by "damnit" as my brain went "ooooo previously known knowledge turn on now!".

---

.... Right. Back to me just blogging about my poor judgement.

Honestly i regretted that i focused so much on Solomon's writs and his letters to his sons. I should have been doing the obvious. Current and old Bibles. That's where the good shit is. Then we can focus on where earthly connections lies in the stuff that have been created (or divinely inspired) like Solomon's writings and everything that influenced/created it.

yeah. I said created. It's currently only an entertained thought that it was his original work.... Or King Solomon had anything to do with it. But, still. The "Keys" transcripts has interesting details and it's fairly easy to find links to older works, holy works and Devil worship stuff. Just gotta find it on the net. Which is a PITA. There's sooo many red herrings. But I'll sort through it and make sure what i find are well referenced and confirmed to be of a certain age or written by a scholar/prominent figure (or they're Canonical/Deuterocanonical).

But yeah... my idea of revisiting the writs of Solomon by the researchers in the Library of London etc, is a moot point. Much more interesting more intact/complete books, tomes and grimoires that would have influenced these sets of fabricated (or not) works. This opens me up to so much amazing bits of work, paintings, instructions and such. So. Sorry. I'm an idiot.

-----

I hope you've enjoyed this post. Again, I'd love some comments. But they're hard for me to find i guess.

Yay, poor obscure me. I think I'll have to tighten my tags as well. But I'll still annoy Ghost The Band fans. Because i find it hilarious.

[by-glass-and-waves]

HERE IT IS THE NEXT CHAPTER OF COURTSHIP

IT'S HERE

okay so proper notes if anyone cares for worldbuilding (oh yeah spoilers for the chapter)

So first: worldbuilding with my baby Kallamar

So, sounds really weird, but I consider him the Bishop of Pestilence, Beauty, and Creation

Regarding Beauty: I mean yeah get sick and look awful while he gets to wear his drip. According to dialogue his Temple was decked out and stuff so I was like, yeah makes sense. Then Relics DLC came out and the way he acts? oh yeah, def vain as shit, he would def deck out. and make sure everyone knew it

obvs nowadays he can't wear his noisy drip because his hearing isn't as great

Regarding Creation: I feel like he would participate in the design of his Temple ofc. Calls himself Grand Architect to feel special. Plus after seeing some fanart of him being an apprentice of Kudaai or something I was like, yes god yes that explains the weapons he has he would learn to be a blacksmith and learn to use his weapons and shit and he would become patron of craftsmen I love it this is good he is Creation/Innovation/etc

relationshit with Narinder (and I guess Leshy): it's... messy. Here's Kallamar being the second eldest and he's just baby about everything. Narinder sees all the stuff he's capable of and is disappointed in his brother because look at how smart Shamura is! Look how stronk Heket is! He saw so much potential in his brother, if only he'd get over himself!

SO he figured, why not screw with his brother until he finally retaliated? It wasn't (always) violent stuff, usually more prankster shit, because he wanted his brother to get the courage to do something, anything. Leshy joined in because he wanted to spend time with cool brother Narinder and he added a lot of fun with the whole CHAOS thing

Finally we get the showdown between Narinder and his sibs and somehow, some way, Kallamar finally gets over himself and manages to strike a blow on his brother. Narinder was shocked before he was like FINALLY and decided that he would finally give this guy a break and let him off with something manageable. Kind of.

now, some writing notes about Narinder/Lamb section if anyone cares for it

I initially thought of continuing with the whole "yep Narinder gonna continue drowning in his feelings for Lamb" thing but I was writing out some ideas because I didn't know how to transition from the mosaic to the workshop, Narinder gotta be alone for that but how...

I think I've been doing too much Narinder whinging about his feelings so with Lamb opening up it gave an opportunity to reverse their roles. And that's where we can get some real conflict between the two because while Lamb is all loving Narinder is like, too :( At least that's how I figured

[milktea-kitty]

Little Lamb (Sero Hanta x Lamb! Reader)

Warning: Pure Fluffy fluff, School boy pining heheh

————————————————————————

Sero was not one to be careless with his clothes. But somehow, his friends noticed how the hole in his left sleeve kept coming back.

“Dude you gotta get that fixed, it’s like the third time that’s ripped. You could get hurt during training Yknow.” Kaminari exclaimed.

Sero gave a nervous chuckle,” Don’t worry man, I’ll just go back to the support classroom before we head back to the dorms today. “

Bakugo scoffed grabbing the boys’ attention as they didn’t even know he was listening in to the conversation.

“How exactly did you manage to rip that shit again, soy sauce?”, he replied.

“Um- ..well-“, before Sero could answer, the bell rang signaling the end of the day.

Sero shot up and sped out their door with a ,”See you guys back at the dorms!”

The 3 boys were left confused as to why he was in such a rush. Mina and Jirou walked over giggling at what they witnessed.

“It’s so cute isn’t it?” Mina says.

Kirishima and Kaminari looked at each other with confusion before Kaminari replied,”What is???”

Jirou perks up,”Of course Bakugo is the only one to figure it out, you’ll guys’ll just have to learn the hard way.”

“Follow him dummies and you’ll see.” Mina laughs with Jirou following next to her.

Now extra curious, Kirishima and Kaminari tiptoe just outside the support course door, hearing voices inside. Trying their best to be stealthy, they peak in to see Sero and you.

The sweet girl with a lamb mutation quirk as well as hatsumes partner. They knew that while Hatsume deals with the more technical side of support, you were busy drawing costume designs and sewing. They remember seeing a glimpse of you and your fluffy little ears after the sports festival (which you shyly declined joining out of fear).

“Again senpai? I sewed it really tight last time. I’m sorry…”, you sighed disappointed with your work.

Sero’s eyes widened and became a little fearful, “ AH, no no (y/n)!! It’s me, I need to be more careful when I’m using my quirk, haha.”

You giggled a little at his silliness, “Well, if you want I can finish this really quick. Did you want to sit down while I patch it up?”

“Y- yes, I can sit (y/n).”

Sero took a sit next to you and watched as your hands methodically move the needle in a fluid motion.

Half way through, you get so focused you forget Sero was next to you as you start humming a gentle tune.

Sero doesn’t take his eyes off you, so entranced with your beauty.

He met you when he first got his costume, having been designed by you and Hatsume. He didn’t think a girl such as you could exist.

Two fluffy white ears and a matching tail. Always wearing that little bow and bell choker around your neck that made you stand out as a lamb even more. Your soft and timid nature, your delicate frame, just all of you. He didn’t think you’d ever wanna hang out with a guy like him; so far out of your league, but you never shied away from him, which only made him want you more.

You gasped causing Sero to break out of his daydream.

“I’m sorry senpai! My humming must’ve been annoying you, I got a little too focused on what I was doing I forgot you were right there!” you cried out.

“It’s alright (y/n), really! It was actually-..pretty cute seeing you all focused like that, hehe..” he replied nervously.

Your cheeks went bright red not knowing what to say to respond to his compliment.

“I..thank you senpai. I think- you’re pretty cute too..” you say a little quietly.

“I MEAN.. Like in a manly way… cause you’re a hero, I bet heroes don’t get called cute but like handsome!! You’re handsome..I MEAN-“

“DO YOU WANNA GO OUT WITH ME?!”

“YES”

You both sit in silence for a couple seconds having processed the mess of a conversation.

“….I um finished the hole too…”

“Oh, right , thank you (y/n)”

You both sat still looking at the floor not knowing what to do next.

“(Y/n).”

“Yes senpai?”

“Call me Hanta now, please”

“…..okay, senpai”

He looked at you before laughing at how cute you were.

“Hey, I’ll text you, okay? We’ll get it all set up.”

“O-okay sen-..Hanta.”

He blushes hearing his name come out of your mouth for the first time while walking out the door.

And subsequently tripping over Kirishima and Kaminari on the floor.

“WHAT THE FUCK.” Sero exclaimed

Kaminari looks up rubbing his head before saying “(Y/N) GO ON A DATE WITH ME INSTEAD, I KNOW HOW TO TREAT A LADY RIG-“ before getting smacked hard in the head by Kirishima.

“DUDE, you’re RUINING the VIBE” Kiri exclaims.

You start to giggle and then laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation, as Seros ears turn bright pink from his friends idiocy as well as listening to the cutest laugh from the cutest little lamb he’s ever met.

[forestlingincorporated]

When Superboy Died For Nightwing

When reading Infinite Crisis and it’s build up, you may notice that Nightwing seems to have a target on his back. The reason for that is fairly simple... Nightwing was supposed to die. 

The decision came from Dan Didio, who admitted to not really liking Dick all that much, but always claimed the decision was a rational one: Dick Grayson had touched the most heroes lives, his death would effect the most people, and bring the most people together. Didio felt Dick’s death would be a hero’s send off for a character that had lived through his coming of age arc and had no where to go. 

Didio: We were looking for the big death in Infinite Crisis – the big moment. We were looking for something that would have equal import and merit and weight in this story. One of the things I’ve been proven wrong about is that I had felt that Dick Grayson was a redundant character – Tim Drake had filled his role as Robin, he would never be Batman, so where could he go? My big fear was that Nightwing would get older than Batman.

As Didio states, he was wrong. Dick had plenty of storylines to be told, and even had his own run as Batman, which was wildly loved. Stories we got because the other people on staff disagreed that killing Dick was the right move - not that it wouldn’t be impactful, but that is was just not a good idea. 

Phil Jimenez: Though I can’t think of a character who would have a greater impact than Nightwing dying.

Geoff Johns: True, but it’s Dick Grayson. My mom knows who he is. Nightwing would’ve been a mistake.

Geoff Johns, who ended up writing Infinite Crisis #6, in particular went to bat for Dick. He thought the idea of killing Nightwing was so bad, he offered up a character, who he’d not only been writing for but was one of his favorites, in his place - Conner. 

Geoff: Superboy was the best choice.

Phil: Just in terms of links to other characters, though. Dick has so many connections to other characters. In many ways, even more than Superman or Batman, Nightwing is the soul, the linchpin, of the DCU. He’s well respected by everyone, known to the JLA, the Titans, the Outsiders, Birds of Prey – everyone looks to him for advice, for friendship, for his skills. He’s the natural leader of the DCU. His loss would devastate everyone and create ripples through the DCU. If it wasn’t him, it had to be a hero that really impacted so many.

Geoff: Well, what other character? Not Wonder Girl. Enough women have died in the DCU. Superboy was my favorite Titan. And I literally had to offer him as a sacrificial lamb.

Interviewer: You killed your favorite Titan? That must have been hard to write.

Jeanine Schaefer: I literally had tears in my eyes when the pages came in.

Geoff: I really fought to have Conner in TEEN TITANS. He gave the title a dynamic the book never had before.

Jeanine: It’s one of the reasons [his death] worked so well and became such a powerful scene. I remember talking to Geoff when the decision was made, and he was, correctly, really adamant that it matter.

Geoff: And Phil did such a great job with facial expressions there, depicting everyone’s sorrow.

Eddie Berganaza: We were hoping to save both Nightwing AND Superboy. But at the end of the day, if we were going to do something really impactful, we really had to go all the way. It just worked for the whole story.

Notably, DC has had off-and-on legal disputes over the Superboy IP with the Siegel family for years (if you’re wondering why they never called Clark ‘Superboy’ in Smallville... yeah) and were actively Going Through It with the Siegels around this time. So, yeah, if two writers were presenting DC with two characters asking the corporate execs to pick which one to kill off, and one of them was Extremely Profitable Fandom Darling Nightwing and the other had their hero name wrapped up in a messy legal battle... I can’t prove that was a factor, I don’t have a quote saying it is, but I know which one I would pick from a cold, business-oriented standpoint. 

All of that to bring me to a rather interesting comic given it’s time frame, writer, and characters involved... Teen Titans #33, by Geoff Johns and Marv Wolfman, published one month before Superboy dies in Infinite Crisis #6. It makes a note at the beginning to read Infinite Crisis #5 before reading Teen Titans #33.

This is a team-up comic between Conner and Dick, who have really not had much interaction, especially not one-on-one. We get a good look inside both of their heads and really see into the emotions of both characters. 

There are several panels that use their mental dialog to parallel the two characters. Dick is doing his best to be a mentor figure, and Conner is trying his hardest to appear put together, which puts them at odds where Dick is hoping Conner will be vulnerable with him and admit when he’s worn out or needs help, and Conner doesn’t want to show weakness in front of Nightwing because he doesn’t want him to think he’s a fuck up. 

It’s really sweet, actually, Dick is a fantastic mentor, even if Dick personally feels out of his depth sometimes doing it. 

And they are given just enough time to really bond for a minute...

Just in time for Conner to die in Dick’s place. 

It’s a really interesting comic from that standpoint, designed to put Conner in harms way for Crisis #6, wrap up a lot of Conner’s emotional drama and self-worth issues with the help of a mentor figure (note that Conner’s sacrifice ends up being about Conner coming to terms with himself, and not about motivating other characters as Nightwing’s would have been), and masks a Superboy send off as a Nightwing send off. 

I’m not even completely sure if they made their decision on who to kill when Teen Titans #33 was written, but it’s clearly on their minds, and I find it a very interesting read with the behind the scenes background in mind. It’s an easy comic to overlook if you don’t know what was being discussed, but it’s very much a sweet gesture to give these two room to bond and have Conner literally sacrifice himself for Dick on the page. 

It REALLY turns into a real bait and switch right there at the end, they very much lean into the idea that it’s going to be Dick right up until it’s not. When the decision to kill of Conner instead was made, they leaned into it hard as a surprise, and I gotta be honest... I feel like it works very well. 

[blondrichclosetwitch]

These are the songs up to 12:34.

I, I could leave the world today (belly of the beat, grimes, 10:51)

Oh children will you grow up (oh children, margaret Atwood, 10:56)

(Chinese slippers, princess nokia, 10:56)

Gotta the speakers up, fire hydrant on

all the kids is acting up, we just play along couple candles in the corner and an offer in the bread

everybody pourin’ liquor, showing OG to the dead

Why don’t you call me

What we both know I am (11:01, james Blake, why don’t you call me)

Yes I am talking to you, cap’n jazz, 11:01

They don’t want me to put any lyrics for this. Jakk can figure it out.

I’m just coming out of the cell in my brain Cause, girl, you’ve got to know these days

Which side you’re on Round and around and around I go

Round and around this time for keeps

(Say a word to the hangman for me, me and my babe)

Father only you can save my soul And I won’t say that he shouldn’t have paid

But, Momma, it wasn’t my bullet (little Amsterdam, tori, 11:04)

Saw my baby down by the river;

knew she'd have to come up soon for air

Takes the wheel when I'm seeing double. Sometimes when the cuckoo's crying, when the moon is half way down...
Sometimes when the night is dying, I take me out, and I wander around. I wander 'round (sugar magnolia, 11:11, Grateful Dead …reference to the River & to the tree, *which* incidentally someone painted a red x on a few days ago.

(In the end, linkin park, 11:11)

Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme

To explain in due time all I know

To explain in due time all I know

Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings b

I wasted it all just to watch you go j

In spite of the way you were mockin' me b

Actin' like I was part of your property b

I'm surprised it got so far b

Things aren't the way they were before

You wouldn't even recognize me anymore

(Too much in my mind the kinks 11:15)

It's ruining my brain,

I'll never be the same,

My poor demented mind is slowly going.

Ordinary people the kinks, 11:18

For a few days It's like another world, being here with you

So this is reality

I'm studying every movement, I'm trying to learn the part

For the sake of art I'm making observations, and character simulations I'm immortalising his life

And I'll even sleep with his wife (ordinary people the kinks 11:18 am)

(11:22 seven deal bill hicks ) The opening of the seals of the document occurs in Rev Ch 5–8 and marks the Second Coming of the Christ and the beginning of The Apocalypse/Revelation. Upon the "Lamb"/"Lion" opening a seal on the cover of the book/scroll, a judgment is released or an apocalyptic event occurs. The opening of the first four Seals releases the Four Horsemen, each with his own specific mission.[6:1-8] The opening of the fifth Seal releases the cries of martyrs for the "Word/Wrath of God".[6:9-11] The sixth Seal prompts earthquakes and other cataclysmic events.[1][6:12-17] The seventh Seal cues seven angelic trumpeters who in turn cue the seven bowl judgments and more cataclysmic events

This hurricane, I'm not afraid

Come on, come on, no-one can see me cry

(imitation of life 11:22 rem )

(telling lies 11:28, bowie)

You'll come to me with tears and blame

Telling lies (oh, I'm visionary, oh, I'm visionary)

Telling lies (feels like somethings gonna happen this year)

(11:33 justin timberlake don't hold the wall)

I think I heard what you said

He's not what you thought and you're fed up

I heard your girlfriend tell you, you could do better

Well, I'm the best ever

(Hands around my throat, 11:44 death in vegas)

the door is shut

juicy notorious big 11:45

time to get paid, blow up like the world trade and if you don't know, now you know nigga

you know very well who you are

all blues, miles davis/helps both ways, mogwai 11:55 (instrumentals)

dark star, the flaming lips 11:56

Reason tatters

The forces tear loose from the axis

Searchlight casting

For faults in the clouds of delusion

too much woman, faces, 12:03

The man I find has got to be strong

'Cause a weak man I can't stand

Because I'm too much of a woman to have a henpecked man

He's gotta be staid

Use his head to turn me on

billie jean demo 12:10 michael jackson

She told me I was a lonely man and I felt sad

She called my name then she said hello

All them who died

one sweet world, dave matthews band, 12:12

So let us sleep outside tonight

Lay down in the mother's arms

For here we can rest safely

perfume genius, some dream, 12:16

I know you called me and I didn't pick up

I was busy freaking out, yeah

suicide demo for kara walker, destroyer, 12:20

Is it still the invisible man you're consorting with, woman?

love rescue me, u2, 12:34

( i should say this is the first song i remember singing. i sang it for my mom a few months after stella died over the phone. it would be a song that i would stop & sing to a tree no matter where i was; i haven't heard it in months. also, apparently bono went to dylan, thinking what he was hearing in his head was something bob had written, and then dylan helped him finish writing it.)

"It's about a man people keep turning to as a savior but his own life is getting messed up and he could use a bit of salvation himself."

I've conquered my past

The future is here at last

I stand at the entrance

To a new world I can see

The ruins to the right of me

Will soon have lost sight of me

better alone, lykke li, 12:34

Nobody wants the shame of knowing they're the ones that made it worse

[celmation-gibson]

The First Drawing to post for this New Decade, and it's the Best of the Movies that I've seen in the Cinemas, and one I've heard of for a while. So here are some Favorite Characters of mine that were fun to Draw, along with the Reviews for the Films.

Missing Link - My First movie to see in the Cinemas of this Year, and it's another Laika Classic, and despite being a Box Office flop, It did receive some very Good Reviews from Critics, and even my Foodtown Boss' Grandchildren saw the Film on a Thursday(?) and they Loved it, so I figured I give this film a watch, and I was amazed at the Final result, An Amazing sight to see that some Folks out there don't know what their Missing. It was directed by Chris Butler, who was co-Director of Laika's other projects 'ParaNorman', and it had an Amazing cast such as Mr. Zach Galifianakis (Felix of 'Bob's Burgers' & Lego Joker of 'the Lego Batman Movie'), Zoe Saldana(Avatar, Gaurdians of the Galaxy), & Hugh Jackman (Van Helsing & Wolverine of the live-Action 'X-Men' films). And once again, the Folks of Laika really did some good Work & Commitment in Making this Film, especially when I loved the Film's settings & Landscaping, and the Action Sequences are Phenomenal, especially in those Action sequences when the Ship rotates with the People in it when it was Struck with the Storm's Big Wave, and How Suspenseful it was when the Characters are dangled into Ice blocks or big icicles, and how shocking on how the Villains' defeat of Lord Piggot-Dunceby, his neurotic right-hand man Mr. Collick, and Bounty Hunter Willard Stenk were killed in Cold Blood, cuz I knew that that Ice Bridge in the Film was gonna Break in a Sequence. Plus there were some Cute Humor in the Film as well, especially after when Mr. Link/Susan Roared at a Dog during a Bar Fight, and after a Moment of Silence, the Dog just attacked on of his Men and the Bar Fight continues (that's when most kids in the Auditorium laughed at that part), and how Susan literally thrown some Objects over the Wall. And I'm always fascinated with Cryptozoology creatures such as Bigfoot, Abominable Snowmen, & the Loch Ness Monster, even when they make me think about that 1970's film entitled 'the Mysterious Monsters'. And even if the film was Distributed by United Artists (a Subsidiary of MGM I suppose), it's kinda Weird now now that it was released on DVD and Blu-Ray from 20th Century Fox, even after Disney's Conquest, but can we still call ML a Non-Disney film, even if some MGM films are being released by FOX under a Contract?

Godzilla: King of the Monsters - Well me and my dad certainly love Giant Monster movies when we were Young, and I certainly remember renting every Godzilla movie on VHS back when Blockbuster was still around, and we certainly enjoyed that one 2014 'Godzilla' movie, unlike the 1998 Matthew Broderick one, so we decided to give this new kaiju movie 'Godzilla: King of the Monsters' a viewing pleasure, not to be confused with the 1956 Americanized 'Gojira' movie starring Raymond Burr. And i gotta say that it was an Epic Thrill-ride of our Lives, even the monsters we were familiar with were Amazing, Godzilla being all greatly Huge and Buffed-up as always in the USA, Rodan looking a-little Sinister lookin', Mothra playing out like the original 'Mothra' movie, starting off as a larva hatching from her Egg, then Evolving into a beautiful Butterfly-like Moth, then King Ghidorah was so Menacing in this one, and being like Lizzie in 'Rampage', he was such a "Pain-in-the-Ass" character, even once being Nicknamed 'Monster Zero', either that Nickname was also used in Japan, or used for one of Ghidorah's old film appearances in the US, that was double-billed with 'War of the Gargantuas'. I even like how they referenced some stuff from Warner Bros. & Legendary Films' 'Kong: Skull Island', as that films along with the 2014 Godzilla, and this Film are all in the same Universe, Monsterverse that is. And how surprising that there are other Kaijus in this Movie that I'm not even certainly familiar about, like that one Arachnid-like featured titan, or the Giant Ape Body/Mammoth Trunk beast, or another Muto(?), and I am wondering if the Demolished Boston at the end of the movie is gonna be the new 'Monster Island'. The human characters were good, I mostly like every member on the character Dr. Mark Russell's team, they seem likable, and the Cast was great, even after looking at the film's Poster befor we went inside the theater, I saw the familiar name of Thomas Middleditch, the same man who did voices in 'Captain Underpants' & 'Bob's Burgers', doing a Live-action role, and while writing this review, I've discovered some other actress who starred in this film include Sally Hawkins, who starred in the previous 2014 Godzilla movie, and also in Guillermo del Toro's 'the Shape of Water, and the woman playing the daughter in this film, also played in 'Stranger Things' as Eleven. And also I love on how the film as a Newer Version of Godzilla's approach-like film that was used in the old films, and even the end Credits have Cover version of Blue Oyester Cult's classic hit 'Godzilla'. And one of the Film's story plot is Fascinating, like how this Earth was once ruled by Giant Titans, until us small Humans have taken over while most of those Titans went Extinct and hiding in the Earth's Spirit.

The Secret Life of Pets 2 - Well, Illumination has done it again, as it Amuses me once before with 'the Grinch', 'Despicable Me 2', 'the Secret Life of Pets', & 'Sing', they have released a Sequel to my Favorite Secret Life of Pets movie that I saw in theaters back in 2016, and now have it on DVD. And when I heard that the Original voice for Max got replaced with a Guy I know of who has a Great Career in Animation, I was like "Whuuut?", but even after reading what Happened to that one Guy, i figured I'd give this Movie a Watch, since I'll like Patton even more. And I gotta say, this Sequel does have some Cute and Lovable moments in the Film, and those Subplots in the Film are Wonderful, leading up to a Story on how to save a White Tiger cub from a Wicked Ringmaster (voiced by Funny voice man, Mr. Nick Kroll(Sausage Party, Sing, Captain Underpants). And Snowball is more luvable in this one as he is in the first Film (Kevin Hart is so Wonderful!), even teaming up with a Cute/Funny character such as Daisy, a Shih Tzu voiced by Tiffany Haddish (who just did a guest voice role in 'Bob's Burgers'). Also with a Cute story on how Max & Duke's owner fall in Love with a Fun Gentleman and have a Kid together, and I love how the Dogs raised the Boy up, by helping him to Crawl & walk, and have Good Animal Instincts, which makes me think that what if my Sister & her Husband had a Pet Puppy that could be a good a Good Companion to my Little Layla niece. And some of the Parts in the Film have Good humor in it, like did I just heard a Cow say "Rat Turd" in front of an auditorium full of Young children? Plus Mr. Harrison Ford(Han Solo in 'Star Wars' & Indiana Jones) was great as a character named Rooster, who tries to Man/Brave up Max and a few characters, after Max has devoted his Life to Little Liam, which led to the Funny Collar on his head. And I'd figured there was something Familiar about that Young Lamb Cotton's voice in the Movie, as he is voiced by Mr. Sean Giambrone, the voice of Jeff in 'Clarence' & Shermy in the 'Adventure Time' series Finale.

Abominable - Well, Dreamworks has done it again, a new film from a Creative Team was made and about to be released soon, and when I saw the Previews of it for the First time, I thought I wasn't too interested in it, especially with the humorous Blueberry gag parts. But after a while, and see that if it looked cuter as Dreamworks' previous film 'Home(2015)', I thought I give it a go, and hopefully it look way better than that one Weird-Looking film in 1995 called 'to catch a Yeti' starring Meatloaf. But for the 'Abominable' film, since the Movie was getting Good Feedback from Reviewers and Viewers, I was Lucky to watch the Film for myself. The Characters were Cute and Funny, almost like the ones from 'Home', especially with Ethnic Protagonists. And the settings and Designs of Asia in the Open Fields, Forests, and Cities are really nice, wishing I could visit and/or live there. And the Great story is like an E.T. Extra Terrestrial thing, expect that the Heroes goes with the Creatures on an Adventure of a lifetime to bring back the Creature to his Beloved Family that they Tried to protect from any threats what's-so-ever. And there are some Amazing plot Twist among the Villainous Characters, like just when you thought the villain was actually an elderly Man who has been hunting Mythical creatures for rewards, but it turns out that the True Villain was actually a Nerdy Woman who thought was a seemingly-gentle Scientist just doing what's right for the World, who almost Barely looks like a geeky version of Kari McKeen of Disney/Pixar's 'the Incredibles', and when she let down her Hair, she may look like a Devious version of Merida of Disney/Pixar's 'Brave'. The Effects in the Movie is Super Nice & Super Awesome, especially in the Yeti's Humming effects, some Action Sequences, and that one moment when the Heroine's Father's Violin broke, the Yeti fixes it by using his own Hair for the String replacements, and I know from that Moment, with Yi's Musical skills and the Yeti's Powers combined, and when the Hearts are Full, and the Heavens are listening, Magic is bound to happen. And for the one other part when the Heroes are Gazing into the Stars, they say that the Stars could be our Ancestors watching over us, and that if we don't see any Stars in the Sky, there will be always there for us, almost like even if for some Folks lost their Love ones, they will always be there, even if we can't see them. But I'm glad i enjoyed the Movie, and I know that some Tween kid group enjoyed it as well, laughing at some Funny Parts in which i enjoyed, sometimes with the Woofing Snakes, "WOOF, there it is, WOOF, there it is".

the Addams Family - Well, a another Fantastic new Animated feature has been made, and it's based off of what I remember from my Childhood, cuz I do remember watching the early 1990's Live-Action movies of the Creepy Family starrring Christopher Lloyd and Christina Ricci, before I knew who some of the Actors were, and I remember the Animated Hanna-Barbera Kooky series on Cartoon Network a while back, even making a Spooky Guest appearance in 'the New Scooby-Doo Movies', but I haven't watched much of their old Ookie Live-action series, and the Family I'm talking about is 'the Addams Family'. And I've read a while back that an Animated CGI feature is gonna be released soon, and I knew back there that that would be interesting for me to see, so I've waited several months for the to be released in Cinemas, and I finally got a chance to do so. It was a Fun and Entertaining movie, and surprising it was made Directed and made by the same team who did the 2016 R-rated Animated film 'Sausage Party' starring Seth Rogan & Kristen Wiig, and the Character designs for the Film were to be based off the old design from the Original Addams Family comics in the old days, and with modern help from Mr. Craig Kellman(Hotel Transylvania, Madagascar). And the voice cast is amazing, we got Mr. Nick Kroll(Captain Underpants) voicing Uncle Fester, Chloe Grace Moretz(Kick-Ass) as Wednesday Addams, Finn Wilfhard(IT, "Beep, Beep, Richie") as Pugsley Addams, Charlize Theron(Kubo and the Two Strings) as Morticia Addams, Bette Midler(Hocus Pocus) as Grandmama, Snoop Dogg as Cousin Itt, Elsie Fisher(Despicable Me) as Parker Needler, even the film's co-director Mr. Conrad Vernon as Lurch ("YYYOOOOOOUUUUUUU RRRAAAAANNNGGGG?!", LOL!!!), a priest that presides over Gomez and Mortica's wedding, the spirit that haunted the abandoned asylum that Gomez and Morticia move into (who often threatened them to get out, much to the family's delight, which i find those Parts to be entirely Hilarious, even in the Theater's Booming Stereo), and Dr. Flambe, a Devil-like relative of the Addams family with fire-like abilities. And the Film's Story is very cute, even with the Film's Opening Scenes on the Origin story of the Addams Family and their "Creative Differences" with other Societies, and it gives me some Good comparisons with Sony's 'Hotel Transylvania' as Creepy Creatures who have lived through the Centuries and Years soon get into Modern times and how other people dealt with Beings like the Monsters of HT and the Addams Family and their Clan. And it would be nice if my Parents were watching the Film with me in the Theaters, cuz during the Film's Ending, me and the people in the Auditorium got a chance to sing-along with the Film's Theme Song, and everyone was Snapping their Fingers to the tune. So If you wanna celebrate Halloween in a Great and Wonderful way, I think that this film is for you, and for all you Goth, Emo, and Young-at-Heart Artists out their who would love a Creepy Treat, and just can't wait to get it on DVD. Klaus - To come clear, I've heard about this movie, and I've even seen some Pencil Tests of it way back then, but I've actually never seen the whole thing, or catch it in a Selected Theater, but I really did see the Film's Trailer. And I would say for a 2D, Hand-Drawn, Frame-by-Frame, Animated feature, these people tried to Improve something for the Classic Animation with their Coloring and Shading type Technique, and even though It's a wonderful Improvement, I wouldn't expect some folks to use this kind of thing more often for Future Celmated Features. As for the Voice cast, I already know who Mr. J.K. Simmons is, but I was surprised to read that the voice man for Mr. Jesper Johansson, is also the guy who played the Villianous Gideon Graves of 'Scott Pilgrim vs. the World' movie.

And sorry if I didn't catch 'IT: Chapter 2' like I did with the first one, But I'm hoping o see some more clips of it online. And I Never had interest in seeing the 2019 'Child's Play', though I still like Ms. Aubrey Plaza & Mr. Mark Hamill. And I had no interest in seeing 'the Angry Birds Movie 2' since I'm never a Big Fan of Thurop Van Orman's creativity. And lastly, I didn't felt like seeing the 'Spies in Disguise' movie ever since Disney's Horrible Conquest of the whole 20th Century Fox media.

[madamewriterofwrongs]

Rules: Answer ten questions, come up with ten questions of your own, and tag ten people.

I was tagged by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels​ and I need some creative stimulus so here we go.

1. If you were an ice cream flavor, what flavor would you be and why?

Tiger! Orange and Licorice. An acquired taste with some common and yet sharp flavours. 

2. What is your favorite mashup of genres? Like space cowboys, or a musical sitcom set in fantasy Medieval times (yes, I’m referencing two TV shows, bonus points for guessing what they are).

I mean Galavant will forever be a masterpiece. It was clever, creative, entertaining. The consistent output of bops. Alan Menkin is one of my favourites because of his simple yet memorable tunes. Plus the actors were spot on. Amazing!

3. You get to solve a mystery as the partner of a fictional detective of your choosing. Who is it and why?

My gut says Nancy Drew. She’s not overly dramatic. She solves every crime. One of us would have to change our ages otherwise I’m that weird adult who’s hanging out with the cool teenagers. (I refuse to acknowledge the new series). 

My runners-up would be Jessica Fletcher or Phyrne Fisher. They would both take me under their wing as the poor naive lamb and I would hold their bags while they solved crimes and not panic when I got kidnapped because I’m the detective’s sidekick. 

4. There are a bunch of wacky chocolate combinations out there. Chocolate bacon, etc. What outrageous chocolate-and-other-item combination is inexplicably delicious to you?

Chocolate and dried cranberries. Not that crazy. HOWEVER. Goldfish and Nutella is delicious. Sweet and salty, baby!

5. You are thrust back in time and are now in the Golden Age of Piracy! Choose which pirate captain’s crew to join. Who do you pick and why?

Gotta go with Black Sam Bellamy. Robin Hood of Pirates. Beloved by his crew. I could happily sail the seas in disguise for a few years. Take his gold when he dies. Got bills to pay.

Which god or goddess of ancient times is your patron? And why?

Not my patron but I do adore the goddess Nike and her gorgeous wings. 

Actually, the house I follow is Vesta, the roman goddess of the hearth and home. A devout virgin, her priestesses were famous in their time. She is the representation of domesticity and tranquility. There’s also deep-rooted tradition and routine involved. She also loved fire so...

Congratulations, you are now a siren! You can lure people to their deaths by singing. What is your song of choice?

Come to me. I’m a great listener. I know you have something on your mind. Tell me all about it.

A movie of your choice gets remade to your specifications or gets a sequel. Tell us all about it!

The Court Jester. An updated production with the same style of comedy. To see a brilliant group of contemporary actors execute golden age timing and physicality would introduce a whole generation to that style. The verbal sparring with hardly a moment to breathe. The completely ridiculous slapstick but it feels so smooth and natural. Danny Kaye swinging in to Angela Lansbury’s room with a rose in his mouth. The vessel with the pessel! The snaps! I don’t even know who could do it off the top of my head but I would love for more people to appreciate this movie.

Apparently turning movies into musicals is a goddam thing now. So are ‘jukebox musicals’ where you take the works of a singer and use them to make a musical. To add to this plague upon earth, you get to pick a movie to turn into a musical or make a jukebox musical using one singer’s songs. What movie/singer are you picking?

Hear me out: Burlesque the Musical. It’s already got a bunch of songs but make it a full two-act musical. Has the feel of fosse but with a contemporary setting. Strong, mostly female cast. 

I may or may not have gotten drunk with my friends once and designed this whole show.

Two-story scaffold set (the dressing rooms are up top and the “stage��� is on the bottom). And everything is climbable. Otherwise, you need a bar, a bed, and a couch for set. The rest is chairs and handheld props. The costumes are fairly simple to construct though there are quite a few costume changes. Add a few more burlesque numbers. Add a few dramatic ballads. One or two more dance montages and you’re golden.

I REALLY WANT THIS TO HAPPEN!

You’re getting your portrait painted because you are Tres Fancy. Which famous artist are you choosing to paint your portrait? You can pick anyone throughout history.

Jan Van Eyck. Loved the details but not so much that I couldn’t be painted in a favourable light to show my neighbours and please the church. Plus I love the muted colours and I could sit on my knees the whole time - would hate to stand for that long).

AND NOW MY QUESTIONS!

You are being held by mad scientists because of your one unique knowledge-base. What do they need your help on?

You are a deity and a devout follower uses three objects to summon you. What are those three objects?

What flavour (I am Canadian, this is the correct spelling) of M&M are you?

What one historical figure would you live with for a year?

What book kept you up at night as a child (in whatever context that means to you)?

Your life is suddenly a musical. What band/singer is your jukebox style?

What is the most realistic dream you’ve ever had?

You save a faerie and they grant you one wish. What is it?

You find and open Pandora’s Jar but at the bottom is not Hope. It is...

How would you fake your death?

And I am tagging… @captainofthefallen​ @regardingourlifechoices @aglimpsofthestars @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels @acting-nerdy @ellkat23 @wingedkiare @cynditefft @caffeinewitchcraft @gelbmantrees. If you want, of course!

[monstaxsthetics]

Monsta X Member Inspired Playlists - Jooheon Ver.

A/N: These are totally just my opinions on these songs and the members I feel they fit. I often find it helpful when writing to look to music for inspiration, so I hope this post helps to inspire some writings for you all. These playlists are geared toward more mature, sexy, nsfw, melancholy, and dark themes.

Starboy // The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk

“I'm tryna put you in the worst mood, ah. P1 cleaner than your church shoes, ah Milli point two just to hurt you, ah. All red Lamb' just to tease you, ah. None of these toys on lease too, ah. Made your whole year in a week too, yah. Main bitch out your league too, ah. Side bitch out of your league too, ah”

Hush // SoMo

“Hush now baby don't say a word,'cause I'ma buy you everything you want in the world. That don't matter as long as you're my girl, 'cause the love we share is better than the rubies and the pearls. What you want diamond rings and fancy cars. I've got everything you need and more. V.I.P to the club all night. Or we can stay in and watch a movie alright. What you want classic clothes, designer bags? I've got everything you need just ask. We can fly to an island get wet, Might even buy you a turbo jet.”

Morning // Marc E. Bassy

“With no makeup on and your eyelash hanging, I would still love you. If you came home late and you kept me waiting, I would still trust you. If the richer man was looking at you, would you stay cold as a statue? Would my love still be good for you? Would you be there in the mornin', mornin', mornin' , mornin'?”

Him & I // G-Eazy ft. Halsey

"Crazy, but I love her, I could never run from her. Hit it, no rubber, never would no one touch her. Swear we drive each other mad, she be so stubborn. But, what the fuck is love with no pain, no suffer. Intense, this shit, it gets dense. She knows when I'm out of it like she could just sense. If I had a million dollars or was down to ten cents, she'd be down for whatever, never gotta convince.”

Beautiful // Bazzi ft. Camila Cabello

“Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful angel. Love your imperfections every angle. Tomorrow comes and goes before you know. So I just had to let you know. The way that dress fall off you is amazing. Love a miracle, a beautiful creation. Baby, come a little closer let me taste it. You came a little closer, now you're shaking.”

Some Kind Of Drug // G-Eazy ft. Marc E. Bassy

“Yeah, ah, since the last time we had sex, honestly, I've been a mess, well, fiendin' 'cause you got the best. Borderline kind of obsessed and yeah. I'm on some kind of drug, I've been addicted and I cannot find enough. I call you, I'm tryna fuck, I'm in room 921, come on up. And we could put up the please do not disturb.”

Don’t // Bryson Tiller

“Don’t, don’t play with her don’t be dishonest. Aye, still not understanding this logic. Aye, I’m back and I’m better. I want you bad as ever. Don’t let me just let up. I want to give you better. Baby it's whatever. Somebody gotta step up, girl I'm that somebody, so I'm next up.”

Wicked Games // The Weeknd

“I left my girl back home, I don't love her no more, and she'll never fucking know that. These fucking eyes that I'm staring at. Let me see that ass. Look at all this cash. And I emptied out my cards, too. Now I'm fucking leaning on that.”

First // SoMo

“Promise that you won't kiss and tell. I'm for real, I wanna give you a supply of how it feels when your heart is beating fast, and sweat drips off your body. I'm roaring loud (say it with me). We're roaring loud. I got a Tonka truck, baby, can I put it in drive? Wanna pull your hair, woo, I got some things on my mind. I ain't lying, girl, I just wanna roar right now. Say it with me, baby, we're roaring loud.” 

Bad Intentions // Niykee Heaton ft. Migos

“This is the face I wear treading the riptide. Abysmal oceans where good girls go to die. I wanna love somebody, wanna feel the love all on me. But after everything I still believe in true love. Not being able to find it, damn it tears me up. And I know it's my fault, I know it's my fault. Let's take a trip, ten thousand miles above the clouds, we can stay up here until we figure it out. I don't wanna go home, don't wanna be alone (be alone).”

Scared to be Lonely // Dua Lipa ft. Martin Garrix

“It was great at the very start. Hands on each other. Couldn't stand to be far apart. Closer the betterNow we're picking fights and slamming doors. Magnifying all our flaws. And I wonder why, wonder what for. Why we keep coming back for more.”

[blookmallow]

ohhhh g o d everything is. happening 

...right then 

this is very hard to see but im pretty sure it says BILL SKINS FIFTH, in other words, 

silence of the lambs 

oh 

ok who the FUCK was playing basketball with a dog head

uh oh

this is gettin pretty spooky 

fuckign FINALLY FOUND THE SCHOOL, 

nice

ohhhhhh boy i do not like the noises that are happening out here nevermind im gonna go the other-

fuck. okay, FINE.

EXCUSE ME WHAT TH E EVERLOVING FUCK WAS THAT 

gggGGGGAAAUUUGHH

[sobbing] what the fuck are you

i really hope these things aren’t, like, fucked up school kids or something 

watch this all be a hallucination and im just going around murdering kids at school or some shit 

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY AND WHY DO THEY ALL WANT TO STAB ME 

ALSO WHAT IS THAT. I DON’T LIKE THAT 

hm

i heard. someone crying in here for a split second but nothing happened and i cant seem to interact with the doors or anything else. so. thatsss. something 

i gotta say im legitimately impressed so far, even with the. really bad controls (again, im. keyboard. i dont have a controller for my laptop rip) and very old graphics the atmosphere building is still completely solid and so far the gameplay’s been pretty intuitive once you figure out the control basics. this is remarkably well designed for its age 

i mean i dont actually know how old it is but it looks old as shit 

i dunno what this was supposed to be for but it is incredibly ominous 

oh god something’s crashing around in one of the lockers. where are you, i hear you, 

boy i can’t WAIT to DIE 

it.................was a cat,

there isnt even anything else in here this room just exists to fuck with you and nothing else. i hate it and i also love it 

the only thing i can read on this sign is NO, and. me too 

why are there so many bullets laying around a school anyway. first aid kits, i understand, whatever “Health Drinks” are, sure, okay, but,

i hEAR YOU IN HERE, little demon baby ghost, where ARE you,

i never did find that one but i DID FIND THIS ONE what are these things even. ive seen three of them now. they’re like little shadow fetus things that make weird noises at you. i cant tell if they’re dangerous or not bc the monster music happens but they don’t. seem to be actually doing anything. and i dont seem able to kill them either 

i thought this was a severed hand and i cant tell if this is better or worse 

y’know it hadn’t occurred to me that it might be something to worry about until you said that, and now im wondering if maybe i should be worried, 

well off into the abyss i go 

[sathinfection]

alien: covenant sucked and here’s why

I saw Covenant five years ago (so I think closer to 4 weeks) and I hated it a whole bunch. But it was a very instructive hate, so I’m gonna break it down. Putting everything under a readmore bc this is gonna be long and also I don’t want people who liked it to have to see me shredding away. 

The first Alien film was the first horror movie that I liked enough not to care how scary it was. I think I was around 6 when I first saw it. It awakened three things in me: a crush on Sigourney Weaver, a lasting kink for xeno, and a deep love of women using construction equipment for non-conventional purposes. I’m not a hugely dedicated Alien fan, but I think that the films have two very defined qualities:

1) Equal opportunity psychosexual horror. Literally anyone in Alien can be forcefully facefucked and then carry a terrifying alien baby! This is something that’s been commented on to death, so it’s not like I think I’m brilliant for observing this. 

2) Woman-centered. Not just in terms of Sigourney Weaver or other Hollywood-unconventional white brunette terms, but the Alien films are also deeply concerned with reproduction. Ripley’s always off to kill the Queen because she’s gonna lay hundreds of eggs, etc. However, unlike a lot of horror films, women aren’t the subject of particular sexual menace. See above: everyone’s a potential victim of the xenomorphs I think this was why the Alien films weren’t as scary to me as other movies, because I didn’t have to see women singled out for rape or assault in ways that separated them from men. Also, women win. Yeah, the xenomorphs always come back, but there’s a little bit of a break at the end of each film. I also can’t even get that pissed off, because it’s female aliens vs female humans, so again I’m removed from awful gender dynamics. I’m not implying that the Alien films are feminist, but they’re not misogynist. 

Now that you know my two strongest feelings about Alien, let’s move forward to Covenant itself. First off, several people in the audience were laughing at a lot of the dramatic moments (not just me and my wife). If you’ve got people tittering during a moment of tension, your horror movie sucks. It’s failed. Covenant has three main flaws. 

1) Terrible, terrible script. Every single person in the film, other than the robots, is a blithering idiot. The movie starts with a bunch of supposedly professional people waltzing out into a planet that’s broadcasting John Denver without any helmets on, and they’re perfectly fine with having unpredictable communication and dangerous ion storms going on. What the fuck. All of them deserved to die. They go scampering around in the alien water? Christ, you can get all sorts of awful things from water on EARTH let alone on another planet. 

Then, when people start getting disgustingly sick, there’s no immediate panic. No, the person has to start vomiting black bile before they think, wow, this is a scary thing to happen on an unknown planet. Remember when that woman was attending to Victim #1 and decided to hug him as his skin looked ready to pop and he was leaking everywhere? What the fuck. 

Remember when David started talking about his weird experiments while showing Captain Vaguely Christian his cabinet of fetal xenomorphic horrors? Then he creepily tells the captain to go down to his murder basement and stick his face in a weird egg-casing, and the captain just goes ahead and does it? Probably one of the most rage-inducing parts of the film, but he totally deserved to go. That was actually my thought for everyone who died in the film, other than the gay couple, Walter, and Shaw. The gay men weren’t any more or less likable than the other people who were murdered, but they were a nice little bit of representation that probably 90% of the audience didn’t notice.

Every character in the film acts like a lamb going to slaughter. That isn’t suspenseful, it’s just annoying. 

2) Predictability. This could probably just go under the terrible script, but it deserves special attention. My single moment of surprise was seeing David 8 on the planet, and that’s only because I hadn’t looked at any previews. The crew is so tremendously stupid that I know the moment one of them wanders off alone, they will get horribly murdered. When Walter and David fight, I know that Walter will lose the second the camera cuts away from the Fassbender vs Fassbender. This is particularly annoying because the director had established that Walter was ‘improved’ over the David model not 5 minutes ago, and Walter is no fool. He is one of two non-fools in the movie, and since the other one is also played by Michael Fassbender, this is a source of much frustration. 

Covenant could have been made slightly better by playing off the audience expectation that David would win. Honestly: was anyone expecting Walter to have won that fight, particularly since “Walter” was acting so creepy after scampering back to the ship? The movie isn’t creating tension through uncertainty, it’s creating tension because the audience is waiting for the goddamn reveal that it’s not Walter, it’s David. Can you imagine if the reveal at the end was that it actually *was* Walter? That would be a legitimate twist! And it wouldn’t be hard to bring back the xenomorph threat in the next film in a way that didn’t involve Fassbender yartzing out fetuses into a drawer while Wagner plays. This leads me to the third, most vile part of Covenant:

3) Misogyny. Here’s where Covenant goes back and takes a shit on the legacy of the previous films, and I gotta repeat that I don’t even really care about the Alien series that much. Covenant completes what Prometheus started, and that’s shifting the focus from women to men. Now, you could say that this is because it’s a prequel to the Alien series, so you don’t have adult xenomorph queens going around to lay eggs, but uh... really? Do we really need to go through this convoluted process of giant white aliens who look vaguely like Clancy Brown? 

I dare you to unsee this. So we’ve got the aliens reproducing through coaldust and Clancy Browns, and it turns out that they needed a man all along to make them reproductively viable. Yeah, David 8 is an android, not a human, but we know what’s up, since the writers sure as shit aren’t taking a nuanced or current look at gender. He’s a guy with daddy issues who sexually assaults people, rather than, you know, acting like a genderless robot. Obviously a sentient robot commits sexual assault! That’s how you know he’s sentient, because a sex drive is part of humanity! Please picture me rolling my eyes with disgust. 

David explicitly sets himself up as a god in the image of his creator, Weyland. Of course, David thinks he’s doing better than his father, but who doesn’t? We’ve cut women out as free agents, both the humans and the aliens. Alien series? No, it’s the Michael Fassbender being menacing series now! 

First off, let’s look at what happens to Shaw. Noomi Rapace wisely tapped out of the series after the end of Prometheus, so she had to be killed off. Was she killed off in a normal way? Nah. She was killed in one of the most uniquely horrible ways in the series, and it was highly gendered. Shaw repairs David, then he repays her kindness by designing a horrible machine to keep her alive while he scoops everything out of her from the waist down and leaves her as this frightening wax-like figure. Prometheus already put Shaw through a pseudo self-abortion, then David goes for the entire womb. I’m sure that the writers (all male - I checked) knew exactly what they were doing with this, and it’s gender essentialism 101: David takes Shaw’s creative, maternal womb powers and takes it for himself so he can make his own alien babies. There’s no way this was unintentional or me reaching - David’s narrative arc is about male parthenogenesis because his daddy was a really shitty programmer. (He probably forgot to close the brackets on the ‘not evil’ line of David’s code)

Now for Daniels. The audience is ‘treated’ to David trying to force himself on her after she sees his figurative rape of Shaw. Then, instead of rescuing herself from this completely unnecessary, un-Alien, he’s-a-goddamn-robot situation, as Ripley would have done, Daniels is rescued by Walter, because this is a film about Michael Fassbender. Her last moment in the film is her screaming as she’s trapped and put to sleep by David. 

Remember that whole generation of young women who loved Ripley for being unafraid, resourceful, and great at killing xenomorphs? Women are starving for positive depictions of ourselves. Ripley was one of the few we had. Women are still crying in theaters at Wonder Woman because we have so goddamn little. 

Now we’ve got Shaw and Daniels: two women in distress who are sexually threatened and ultimately outwitted by a man. I can forgive Covenant for being a bad film, but the misogyny is disgusting. If the Alien series continues, and who knows since it’s failed to be a moneymaker outside of comics and videogames for a while, it better be a reboot rather than a continuation of Covenant’s storyline, because Alien isn’t about men, damn it. It’s about people dying in space, and women. 

And some of them will eat you. 

[jesbakescookies]

Too Hot To Handle: Chapter Two

So I kinda wrote a different kind of fanfiction. It’s nothing as in depth as my other fics so I am going to post it here. ENJOY!!

                  ***Actor, Real Person Fanfiction, Walking Dead RPF***

Featuring: Jeffrey Dean Morgan X Original Female Character, Norman Reedus and others..

Rating: Mature

Chapter Two

Aria closed the restaurant but stayed to plan the new spring menu. Every season she rotated out specific meals for seasonally available produce and proteins. It was something she felt strongly about and one of the biggest draws to her dining room. 

Using the largest table, Aria spread out all her concept platting drawings as well as recipes and item descriptions. She even produced a few of the experimental dishes to taste as she worked. The restaurant’s lights were all dimmed and she turned the radio on low over the speakers. She was moving a few ideas from the maybe pile to the definite pile when a knock rattled the front door. Squinting, Aria could see someone in the large glass pane but not who. Pursing her lips, she weighed her options, the restaurant wasn't in a bad area of town but psychos lived in every zip code. 

Another knock came spurring her into action. Holding her cellphone just in case, Aria approached the door to finally see who was pounding. 

Jeffrey stood there with an apologetic expression and slightly embarrassed smile.

Smirking inwardly, Aria deadpanned, "Sorry we're closed."

Watching him pout obnoxiously and fold his hands in prayer had Aria laughing loudly and unlocking the door. "Okay what'd you forget a wallet or cellphone? Because if it's either, they’re long fucking gone."

Snorting, Jeffrey shook his head and replied, "My hat. Black with white logo?"

"Fuck if I know. Come with me." She answered, locking the door behind them and leading them to the office. Aria could feel him following her, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end. She bit her lip to keep from blurting out something inappropriate about the amazing fucking scent coming off of him. A mix of expensive cologne, leather and smoke. The man looked like sex on a stick in his worn t-shirt and low riding jeans. 

"What're you doing here so late?" his voice rough and low behind her made Aria swallow thickly. 

"I'm the lost and found guard." She quipped, pulling out the box used as the catch all of forgotten items. Smirking at her with sparkling eyes Jeffrey drawled, "Don't guards usually wear uniforms?"

"It's under my clothes, like a super hero."

"Oh yeah?" He rasped, his hooded eyes trailing down her body and back to her face. "I'd uh... like to see that."

Snorting, Aria shook the box and replied, "I can't go showing just anybody."

"I am definitely not just anybody." He drawled, glancing at the box before turning his attention back to her. "Nope, no hat."

"Well, sorry to inform you. If anyone saw you wearing it and found it, it's probably on eBay with an authentic famous actor sweat certificate."

Bellowing with laughter, Jeffrey gave her a blinding grin. "I like you doll. You are a fucking riot."

Dropping the box and dusting her hands off on her hips, she replied, "you hungry?"

"I can always eat."

"Hollow leg?"

"Bottomless fucking pit." 

They wandered into the dining room where her table was still in the depth of planning. 

"What's all this?"

"I'm redesign the new spring menu." She replied pointing out each area of the table. "I use seasonal products so every few months I revamp things. I have my standards but I try to have a handful or two of seasonally designed dishes."

Jeffrey seemed enthralled as she showed off the plating sketches and the pictures of her sample dishes. She let him try the few meals and appetizers she had in the concept phase. 

"You're fucking amazing." He commented, shaking his head while chewing and looking at the sketch. "And I don't just mean the goddamn delicious circus in my mouth. Just the conception, the thought you put into everything... I'm fucking blown away."

Aria felt her cheeks turn rosy and laughed anxiously. "Umm... Thanks?"

"I mean it. I feel like a dick for not even knowing or thinking about what kind of work goes into this."

"Well to be honest, I probably go above and beyond. I'm not sure many others go this fucking crazy. I just..."

"Love it?"

"I fucking love it." She corrected, her cheeks hurting from the size of her grin. "As hard as it is. As much pain and stress it causes. I love it. I wouldn't do anything else."

Jeffrey smiled at her and bobbed his head, "that's the way it should be."

"Do you feel that way? About acting?"

"Most days yeah." He answered with a chuckle, "there's always times where you question yourself."

"Very true." She agreed, sipping the wine she'd left breathing. 

"I have a confession." His voice was softer and a little gruff as though unsure of how she would take his next words. 

Cocking an eyebrow she asked, "You hate the lamb huh? I'm not sure about it either."

"Jesus woman, the lamb is ri-goddam-diculous." He exclaimed, throwing a fed up hand in the air.  

"Okay, okay." She giggled, plopping down in one of the chairs. Jeffrey joined her and motioned for the wine bottle. After pouring himself some and sipping it, he confessed, "I didn't forget a hat."

Furrowing her brow she asked, "What'd you forget?"

"Nothing.. I..." he paused, scrubbing his face with an embarrassed smile.  "I had a feeling you'd be here late with just coming back from vacation and all..."

"Okay I'm officially pathetic."

Chuckling, he shook his head. "No you love you job."

Rolling her eyes, Aria motioned for him to continue, "Okay so you came to see me and not find an imaginary hat."

"Yes. I... look I don't really do this shit. At least not recently... and even then it was not frequent."

"Jeffrey?"

"Yes."

"Spit it out."

"I'd like to take you out some time.” The dark haired man explained, leaning towards her. “I'd say to dinner but I think I should take you somewhere non workplace like."

Aria’s eyebrows raised to her hairline and she felt her cheeks flush again. "Um."

"I mean if you're not available or whatever.... I asked our waitress and she said you weren't seeing anyone or at least she hadn't seen you dating anyone."

"Oh my god. Was it Cheryl? I'm canning her ass."

"No don't do that. I was persuasive." He drawled, flashing his dimples. The salt and pepper scruff that covered his handsome face only added to his appealing grin. Aria could feel herself melting under his gaze, his lip bitten as he suppressed a smug grin. 

"You do seem like the persuasive type."

"I've been known to get my way, yes." 

"Pfft." She snorted, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow. "I've been known to be pretty fucking stubborn."

"Seems about right. Most successful people are."

"Suck up."

"I'm trying to get a date here." He retorted, sipping his wine and winking at her. Aria bit her lip to contain the smile pulling at her lips. 

"Well... on this hypothetical non workplace like date, where would we go?"

"Jeesh put a fella on the spot."

"Said fella should come prepared for such inquiries."

"High standards. I like it." He commented, licking his lip before biting it in thought. "Alright. I got an idea. Do you like to ride?"

"Depends on what I'm riding?" She flirted, licking her own lip coyly.  

"Fuck doll." He grunted, his teeth flashing "you're making it real hard to be a gentleman."

"I bet I am." She joked, drinking another gulp of liquid courage. Aria wasn't sure how the conversation was actually happening but a famous and handsome as fuck actor was asking her on a date. She was hoping she wasn't actually having a stroke or some other kind of hallucination causing neurological event. 

"Stop, tease." Jeffrey rasped, shaking his head as if ashamed but grinning just the same. "Motorcycles."

"I’ve only been on one once and it was some crotch rocket which was uncomfortable and frightening."

"Well, I won't put you on my Honda. We'll ride my Harley. Much comfier and smoother ride."

"So we ride somewhere?"

"Damn. You need a play by play. What about the element of surprise, babydoll?"

"I'm kind of a planner." She replied, waving a hand over the table as if a game show host. Jeffrey smirked and answered, "We'll go somewhere fun. You'll love it. Wear jeans and comfy shoes."

Aria chewed her lip in thought and asked, "When?"

"When are you available? I know you work everyday, all day but you gotta have a day off."

Pulling out her phone, she flipped through her schedule and said, "Is a weekday okay?"

"Any day, anytime darlin'."

Smiling crookedly she asked, "You sure you don't do this all the time? Sound a little too smooth."

"Seriously."

"Okay. If you say so Don Juan." She remarked, dodging his playful smack to her shoulder. Laughing she offered, "How about Thursday? I have both my sous-chefs on. My produce comes in the morning so I can check it and leave after."

"It works for me, if it works for you."

Setting it up on her calendar quickly she asked "what time?"

"How about we say three and go from there?"

"Sounds good. That'll give me time to get everyone on the same page."

Jeffrey smiled and nodded happily. "Good. I'm glad I lied and came back."

"You didn't have to lie."

"It was that or, hey let me in, I wanna make an ass out of myself. I figured it was better to tell a little teeny tiny white lie."

"Well I'm usually against lying but I guess I'll forgive you this time seeing as it got me a date."

"Never again." He offered, giving her the boy scouts sign. "Scouts honor."

Rolling her eyes, Aria yawned suddenly and blinked hard. "Okay exhaustion has hit me and I don't think I'm getting anything else done tonight."

"I'm sorry I interrupted."

"I'm not." She replied, smiling at him. "Best brainstorming session yet."

Grinning at her, Jeffrey stood up and opened his arms offering a hug. Aria smirked and gave him one, forcing herself to not inhale deeply. He was so much taller than her, her head barely reached his shoulder. The length of his arms could circle her twice if he tried hard enough. 

"You're so damn tiny." He muttered, pulling back to flash her his dimples. 

"I think it's you, who's the giant."

"Nope. You're elfin like."

"Fuck off. Am not." She scoffed, walking with him to the front door. "I'm perfectly average."

"Doll, you are any-fucking-thing but average." He rasped, leaning forward to kiss her temple. The rough crackle of his words murmured into her ear, "Lookin' forward to taking you out beautiful."

"I'm looking forward to it too." She replied, holding her hand out. "Let me see your phone."

Placing her number in his phone, she sent herself a text and handed it back. "There's my number. No more wild goose chases."

Laughing gruffly, Jeffrey agreed bashfully, “No more lies. You will need to show me you're super hero outfit though."

"That's more of a third date event."

"Well fuck. I better start planning number two." He joked, stuffing his hands in his pockets. 

"Probably a good idea." She replied, with a flirty smile. "Goodnight Jeffrey."

"Goodnight Sweetheart."

Find Chapter Three here:

http://jesbakescookies.tumblr.com/post/161975558336/too-hot-to-handle-chapter-three

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged for updates. I'll try my best to remember!

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[kapanbenernya]

Horizon: Zero Dawn -- There’s Only One or Two Giant Dinosaurs

Did you know that I own a PS4? Of course you don’t, why the fuck should you care? I’m literally a stranger on the internet that communicates to you via an internet post floating on the information superhighway like a piece of turd lost in the everflowing sea of turds in a septic tank. But enough rambling on the subject of human feces and back to the topic at hand, I own a PS4.

I used to own the PS2 and I remember having a CD holder shaped like a thick book that holds all my PS2 DVDs, and I remember it being filled to the brim until I have to double-stack the DVDs or else it won’t fit. So why did I bring this up? Because I want to compare that to my PS4 library which consists of 4 blu-rays. No I’m not fucking kidding, I only got 4 games, two of which are a copy of Bloodborne that I had to buy twice because I bought the wrong fucking region and the DLC won’t connect. 

Maybe right now you’re asking yourself, “What’s with the rambling man?” and well... Here’s the thing, I’m gonna be honest from the start: I wasn’t that into Horizon: Zero Dawn (HZD). I bought it just as a filler, to bulk up my library of PS4 exclusives. So yes, I just wasted two paragraphs explaining that I didn’t buy HZD because I think I’ll enjoy it, I bought HZD just to own it and maybe get a kick out of it or two.

Oh well, let’s talk about the game anyway

In this game, you play as Aloy, a woman without a mother in a tribe that places value on matriarchy, which is why she is branded an outcast by her tribe. Wait what? Doesn’t matriarchal society puts more privilege and power on women? So why was she shunned? She’s a woman! Shouldn’t she be given power instead of you know, kicked out?

Something tells me this tribe doesn’t respecc whamen as much as they think they do

But Aloy isn’t all alone in this cold cruel robotic world, she’s got a foster dad whose name I already forgot. I mean it’s not my fault, he’s not that important anyway. All he does is teach Aloy everything she ever knew so that she can go to the yearly outcast acceptance tryouts, nothing important there. Sarcasm aside, it’s still kinda true that his only purpose in the game is to be the plot advancing sacrificial lamb. No spoiler alert needed! His death flag has been raised ever since he become the parental figure of the protagonist, kinda like Batman’s parents or Uncle Ben. 

But no worries, his sacrifice wasn’t in vain because Aloy finally gets accepted into the tribe! By virtue of being the sole survivor of the test because some tribe of edgy fuckboys killed everybody else. And not long after, some killer robots showed up at the door, late to party and and thrashed the place up some more. With the tribe left in tatters, Aloy is appointed as a scout and sent into the world to figure out the threat that looms over the world. Also, Aloy may or may not have been born from a mountain and now have a personal quest of finding out about her origin. And if she had extra time, probably find out whatever it is the old Shaman smoked until she came to the flawless logic that mountains can give birth to humans.

The threat is, as usual: robots gone apeshit

Have I mentioned that the setting of the world is a post-apocalyptic world where people formed tribes and most animal have been replaced by robots? So yeah, two very important aspect of the HZD world. Anyway, the robots and the humans live happily among each other, and by that I mean they kill each other every time their gaze meet. But so far, things have been manageable as long as the humans stay the fuck away from the robot’s territory and vice versa. 

Let me explain about the robots a bit. The robots are various versions of wild animal replacements: stags, bulls, leopards, hawks, saber-toothed tigers, giant fire-breathing chickens, and 30-foot tyrannosaurus rex with frickin’ laser beams.

We all know the mastermind behind the fucking dino, don’t we?

As you can see from my incomplete list alone, the robot variety is rather robust. And the variety is supported by the uniqueness of each robot species. Every robot has different weaknesses based on elements and since the design of each robots is largely varied, the locations of the weak points can be very different. I can see the love and care that went into designing each species, and it shows. Although I gotta admit the herbivores are kind of boring when compared to the carnivores. The herbivores are kinda samey and lame, all you get to do is maybe ride it to town and turn some primitive heads. Meanwhile, the carnivore’s got all the nice toys. The kind of toys that shoots laser and kills people. And guess what? You can shoot the turret off with an arrow then you can pick it up and fire it up their tail pipes.

Now I gotta say, the first time I see the robots, I was like “fuckin’ sold, this shit is G U C C I”. But then after I actually play the game and have come face to face with a lot of them, I wasn’t into them anymore. I don’t know why, but I find the enemies boring after a while. Perhaps its because somehow I find fighting the animal bots has become a chore and not a fun activity to do. I mean the animal bots tend to flock together, so you’re almost always outnumbered, and the bots usually can kill you in a few smacks. This results in a lot of untimely deaths during what I thought would be a sunny stroll in the meadows. Also I think the big machines have too much health. As you can see, I don’t think this is a good thing, the same way a rubber tire isn’t an excellent snack just because you can chew it longer. However, you can actually make all of these problems go away if you choose to stealth it up and crouch like the little bitch that YOU ARE. Hey, dev-person-man-guy-thing, nobody in their right mind looks at a robot T-Rex and say, “Boy, I can’t wait to stealth crouch around this bad boy”. You know what we wanna do? We wanna ride it, or kill it, or ride it AND THEN kill it. Maybe take down a few rival tribes in the process.

And that’s just the fuckin animal bots, there’s also the war bots that looks like a cereal box that grew spider legs. Not only is it visually boring, it’s also plays like shit. Either you have to go play hide and seek with it or it’ll blast you with piss like you’re a really tough shit-stain on the toilet bowl. But the worst of the worst has got to be the human enemies. Fucking hell, in a world filled with creative animal robots, adding human enemies will just bring the standard down. They’re boring to look at, boring to fight against, and just plain stupid. I hate how the so-called “stealth kill” alerts every motherfucker in the area. I hate how you can’t stealth kill the “elite enemies” until you unlock a certain skill. In short, I just hate humans in general.

Not in real life, mind you, I’m a God-fearing peace loving man of the people, man.

Great, since I’ve run out of places to spank HZD, I’m just gonna randomly list all of its best parts.

I like how we can grab some healing items that can be used on-the-go in an instant, and I like how it can be easily found in the wilds like some drive-through salad. What I don’t think I like is how the plants aren’t that easy to differentiate from one another. I mean if I’m gonna make a jump, roll, tumble, and scoot myself down a goddamn hill while dodging lasers fired from a turret mounted on a 20-foot robot tyrannosaurus, that plant better be the healing plant instead of that useless resist fire plant. 

Another thing I like about the game is the weapons. There are quite a variety of weapons at your disposal, and it’s the good kind of variety. The kind of variety that makes each weapon had a distinct feel and different purpose, and I like them all. My favorite is the the tripwire weapon that’s the greatest thing since the invention of fire. The sleeper hit was the sling that I thought was shit but it’s actually great because it can fire ice projectiles that immobilizes the big enemies and freeze their armor. 

This very very tight weapon system is also supported by your ability to craft ammo on the fly. This might seem like a trivial thing, but hear me out now: by enabling you to craft ammo mid-fight, the game makes sure that the pace isn’t halted by the fucking menu screen and you get to keep your focus and maintain the flow of the battle. Because you know what kills my combat boner when I’m in a middle of a tense fight against robot dinosaurs? Having to pause the game and open up the crafting tab because my arrows ran out.

That’s it, that’s about everything I can say about my experience playing the game. There are some things that I actually left out of my review like the world design, the characters, etc. It’s because I think that it’s not that important to mention or it’s just mildly mediocre and not worth reviewing.

In Brief

What’s wrong with me? Do I not like video games anymore? 10 years ago, all I had to do was fire up my PS2, boot up GTA: San Andreas and just grab a bike and cycle from Los Santos to Las Venturas and I was having fun. 5 years ago I finished Dark Souls after 2 years of git gud, and I didn’t let the difficulty break me. Now I’ve got a game filled with creative and challenging enemies, a big open world to explore, and a fuckin robot dinosaur for God’s sake. Why didn't I have fun with it? I don’t think I have an immediate answer for it, but at least I know there’s two possibilities. One, is that I AM actually losing my touch and I’m not that into video games anymore. Probably all this adult thing and living my life that’s gotten in the way. The other one is that my tastes has actually gotten better with time, and now I notice the intricacies and can distinguish whether a game is good or bad, and I simply did not want to waste my limited time with games that I didn’t really like that much, including HZD.

I guess we can learn something from the animal robot designs. No matter how well you design an element of a game; visually or audibly, it won’t be appreciated as much if it does not add much to the gameplay --or worse-- plays like shit. Because you ARE making a game, and all the elements that you design will ultimately be judged from how it feels as a game. You can paint the robots with naked titties, but if they’re boring to fight, people will still think of them as badly designed. As for the case of the war bots and the human enemies? Dogshit.

9/10/2018