#i gotta be up super early and sleep hasn't been very kind to me as of late

[kopivie]

several creative ideas running through my head/already underway:

1) a jujutsu kaisen fic in which a non-sorcerer just so happens to be an expert mathematician who is capable of using math in every aspect of their life. but because a lot of jujutsu employs mathematical reasoning (abstract or otherwise), they just so happen to be on par with some of the strongest sorcerers.

i've got a pretty solid background for her, actually. her father, ryusei, is actually a retired jujutsu sorcerer; he retired because he loved his wife so much that he didn't want to endanger her or the family they were going to create.

seina, the non-sorcerer in question, was born with the heavenly restriction that sapped her of all cursed energy. unfortunately, her sister sumire is born two years later with cursed energy, so ryusei separates the two of them for their safety; sumire attends the tokyo metro school and seina lives a "normal" life.

(mind you, the restriction that seina has is similar to that of maki and toji. she may not be able to see curses, but she has heightened senses that allow her to sense them. she's not trained on how to counter them, though – father's orders.)

not sure if i want seina and sumire to be 2006 sorcerers or 2018 sorcerers, though. i honestly don't really care about their relevance to the jjk lore, nor do i know how they'd fit in. i'd have to be like my friend and create my own lore, but that's... eugh. whatever.

2) finally got down the foundational lore and scaffold of a plot for my magnum opus.

i had actually written myself into a hole earlier. i had to hammer out the details just now to ensure that i'm not adding anything unnecessary and getting lost in my own head again.

basically, there is a cursed alien race that's trying to defy the cosmic order and create a new aeon by wiping out other species and using the energy harvested from their victims to make artificial divinity. the gods on earth make a deal with the invaders to kidnap and kill a specific number of humans in exchange for their safety, but one of the servants of a certain god learns the truth.

she's attacked and left for dead, but survives somehow. now that she's off the grid, she makes it her life goal to sow discord from the shadows, cause civilians to distrust and rebel against the gods, and figure out a way to force the gods to surrender their divine authority to those who are more worthy.

what she learns is that the gods of the past have already chosen successors of the divine thrones. when she figures out that she's one of them, she makes it her mission to find the other successors. unfortunately, they're either in complete disbelief, firm supporters of the current gods, or already aware of the truth and refusing to help.

3) "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."

not really sure about any details just yet, but i know that the first installment of whatever this is supposed to be will be about found family, and the second installment will be about blood relatives disrupting the hard-earned peace from the first installment.

mmh.. brain falling asleep. probably bed time.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #187

I still don't have quite enough sleep. I stayed up a little later than I wanted to, but I still wanted to go to the nice place with the awesome leader, which meant I woke up early, because the place is an hour away. It has been some time since last I wasn't too overwhelmed to go. I'm glad I went.

I was in a lot more pain than usual today, though, so I wasn't able to be chipper or to mingle in the way I usually do. I'm really glad that no one seemed to mind.

At the place, there is a young teenage girl who I wanted to give my collection of Pokémon cards to. She is very interested in them, and I had a great big huge binder full of some of the old ones that were around way back when they first came out. I arranged them in pages of sleeves - 18 cards per page - in numerical order. The formatting of these cards has changed dramatically over the years. I don't really like the new formatting, and the old formatting isn't widely available anymore, so I don't collect them anymore. So what's my binder gonna do other than sit on a shelf somewhere, collecting dust? Better that it goes to someone who will be able to appreciate them a little more.

But she hasn't been coming to the place recently, I guess. So I left it with the older gentleman that she is usually with; he will give her the binder. I hope she likes it. But if she doesn't, I suppose I can always take it back, if she doesn't want it.

When we were done, J and I went to Eggcellent again. I was extra tired and cranky from the sleep deprivation and the rib pain, so I got two matcha lattes; one had rose syrup, tea jelly, and cream cheese foam, and the other one was basically the same, except it had lavender syrup instead of rose syrup:

I split each of these with J; he seemed to like sharing them with me, and that was good.

...I spent the rest of the day trying to design a house, with mixed success. It's nowhere near done yet. And I'm not really sure I'm liking the layout. And no... I can't show it to you when it's done, which really super sucks, but it is what it is.

At some point during all that, J reminded me that I have to come up for air every now and then when I'm working on things; I'm a lot like you in that if I'm left to my own devices, the hyperfocus becomes strong, and I don't eat, drink, or sleep properly like I should. I'm probably pretty dehydrated, actually... Suppose I had better fix that...

Well, in any case, J took me on a brief walk outside. The sun was setting, and it was especially nice today, so naturally, I tried to snag a few pictures for you...

...And that's all I've got. I hope you enjoyed looking at these as much as I enjoyed taking them for you; the world is full of beauty amidst the darkness. You just gotta know where to look.

...I should get to sleep. So I'm gonna get some water, and then go to sleep. I've got a visual field test tomorrow morning, I guess, because I had been having this weird thing happen in my left eye somewhat recently whereby a decent chunk of my vision is obscured by a navy-blue splotch for a fraction of a second, every several minutes.

It was doing that for a number of weeks, and then it stopped happening. But they don't know what it is, and my eyes look healthy from the exam just a few days ago. They imagine it's an ocular migraine of some kind (though there was no headache), but they're gonna do the visual field test just to make sure there's nothing weird afoot. I'm gonna assume it's nothing to worry about; possibly just stress-induced or something.

...Next week is gonna be rough. I've got the eye doctor, I gotta get a dress modified, there's therapy, and then orientation for the new job, and then I'm gonna get 4 teeth extracted. It's a lot. I'm daunted. But it'll be okay. I've got this. Don't you worry your pretty little head about me, all right? I'm gonna be just fine. But if you wanna maybe wish me a bit of luck, perseverance, endurance, and resolve, I certainly would appreciate it. And if you don't wanna, then that's okay, too; I'll be all right either way.

I love you. I'll write again tomorrow. Please stay safe.

Your friend, Lumine

[thestylesfamilysblog]

"Oh man ira going to be so crazy, we have Christmas with my family in the morning and Harry’s family at night, so I’ve got to be up somewhat early to start cooking…I’m already exhausted thinking about it but we love family time! I just know Sage will be up around 6 wanting to see what Santa’s brought, but the rule is stockings and presents at 8 so Harry, Eli and Elle can get a bit more sleep 😂🩷 - Ro"

AK is the only one that gets up super early for Christmas and then she gets all her sisters up😂 but she gets up at like 7. Well Colin had his family Christmas on Friday because he has so many relatives and so people could fly in 😂 I didn't fly in to see my fam this year because we alternate every year between his fam and mine. And then tonight he, my mom, and the girls and I had our own little dinner thing but it wasn't huge. And then tomorrow Colin makes these Christmas pancakes for Christmas morning for us (mostly for the girls lol) and we have those, bacon, sausage, and fruit, and coffee. But coffee hasn't been my friend with this pregnancy so no coffee for me which makes me sad a little because it my favorite thing. Tomorrow is hopefully going to be chill in our pjs 😂 but with one of Audrey Kates presents I'm sure it's going to be very entertaining.

Oh I can only imagine, Harry said he has some sort of giant gift for me something that will bring me back to my childhood….I’m kind of scared but looking forward to it, gotta love Christmas time 😂😵‍💫 - Ro

[dzpenumbra]

12/11/22

Max has her appointment tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous. She's doing fine, she's been puking in the mornings but I'm like 100% sure it's because I haven't been letting her free-feed because I haven't had a dish available for that yet. The tell was her breaking into the treat container this morning and feasting. No puke this time. So yeah. I'm guessing eating at 9PM and then not eating again until 1PM is... not good for her. It's probably not good for me either. I hope I can get things straightened out in my life a bit to ensure that she doesn't have to suffer from my sleeping/losing track of time problems.

The appointment is going to be her first blood draw since she started the hyperthyroid meds. She's put on a good amount of weight, which is awesome, a big thing with hyperthyroidism is just shedding pounds and she was like skin and bones for a while there. She looks very healthy, though she does sleep a lot and she hasn't really played at all since we got to the new place. Maybe climbing the stairs a few times a day just wears her out? Maybe she's just getting old. I dunno. She's 16, it can be hard to tell.

I had to give her Gabapentin tonight. It's always a weird feeling dosing your pet. I've had to do it a few times, with my German Shepherd before she passed and my cat for her first blood draw. It's not the end of the world, I just... I feel like an evil stepmother from a horror movie or something. "Don't worry dear, I've got your delicious dinner right here, you'll feel much better reeeeal soon! Bwahahahah!" I mean... lucky her, she gets to be high as shit for an entire day for free, but like... being dosed and not understanding what's going on is like... that's scary shit, honestly. So yeah, I have to like not think about it much and just be as sweet and kind to her as possible.

Tomorrow, I have to get up early to get her meds to her 2 hours before the appointment. I hate bitching about waking up at like 10:30. It makes me feel so lame. But this has been a serious thing for me for a long-ass time. There was a 6 month period in the last decade where I was waking up before like noon. That's a very long time. Yet, I still feel like I'm gonna get shit if I go "oh god, I have to wake up before 11". Here's my thinking on it. My cat gets her meds at 1AM. My sleep ritual revolves around that. No sleep ritual just doesn't really feel... possible... it's like the only structure my life has. If I drop that, shit just goes into absolute chaos real quick. So that takes about... an hour, maybe an hour and a half. Depends on how distracted I get. So, that puts me around 2-3AM. If I fall right asleep, then I can get up around 10-11 no prob. But what's been happening lately is that I do the meds and then I get distracted... and I don't start my sleep rituals until like... 2 or 2:30. Yeah... so that's gotta not happen tonight. And it's 12:56 right now. Yep. So... I guess my night is over? Sucks because I'm not really tired yet. Oh well.

Honestly, more than anything, I'm just tired of being stressed out about this shit. Guess what? Everything I just said up there, implying the consequence of people judging me? Yeah, people will judge me. People will judge me because of my skin color, because of my haircut, because I have a beard, because I'm single in my mid-30's, because of how I smell, because I'm an artist. A person I shared a room with judged me because I wore all black clothes one day. I shit you not, he was fucking baffled and stunned and was super snobby about it, like he was scared of me or something. I literally didn't even notice that I was wearing all black, I just put on clean clothes. So... 1) Why the fuck do I care what shallow, judgmental people think of me? Isn't that just a clear indicator of people that are like... toxic to me? and, most importantly... 2) No other person is judging me when these imaginary things happen. When I say "god I hate how people always judge me for getting up late." No one even knows or cares when I wake up. The only one judging me on that is myself. But, you know, when you are surrounded by shitty people for the majority of your life... that shit just lives in your head, like the world's shittiest roommate. And they can be super convincing, because... you know... they're you.

On that note, 1:05AM. I'm gonna finish these like 3 day old nachos and start getting ready for bed. Fingers crossed my girl's blood levels come back healthy tomorrow, she's been looking much better but... this is something that she's just stuck with the rest of her life. As long as she's happy and not hurting, I'm happy.