#i gotta be on the spectrum or something because i just don't understand???

[ethankyou]

I don't think we have ever had a canon confirmation that this is make-up or not, but they've supposedly confirmed it outside the show:

Though I couldn't load that tweet. It might have been deleted or the account privated. I also found this nugget:

...and went "Oh boy Garak's doing makeup now too? 👀" Rewatching the episode he does have a some blue applied to the spoon in the scene where he's having lunch with Odo (and the next scene or two he's in). Neat!

I also remembered that Ziyal appears without any blue marks. I can't find any pictures of Ziyal wearing blue - if we saw a canon picture of her wearing blue on her spoon at some point, that would just about confirm it.

And before anyone else mentions that she is only half cardassian, I'm aware. But if the blue colouration was sexually dimorphic instead of makeup, we should expect to still see some colouration either on the spoon or neck. Though I will admit we don't know that for sure.

When I was pouring over pictures of Ziyal I did find this though:

Which was labelled as Ziyal in a fanwiki of some sort, but this is just a shot of Kira in the episode Second Skin. So still notta for Ziyal. Interesting they dabbed some blue on that thang before they woke Kira up though! Maybe this weakens the make-up theory, idk!

But for now at least I feel that the blue being makeup is about as conclusive as it can be without having a character say "I applied blue pigments to my spoonamathing and neck rufflidges!"

Now as far as blocking out certain wavelengths of light, that is possible! So as I said before, the blue pigment would block everything except for blue light.

If we presume that is the purpose, we have to ask two things:

What benefit does blocking all light except blue on a parietal eye give cardassians?

Why do females (typically) apply this pigment and not males?

But first we gotta talk about something I mentioned previously, which is the cardassian sun.

Our sun in the sol system is a yellow dwarf sun and gives off a majority of light in the visible spectrum. Is that lucky for us being creatures that just so happen to be able to see this light? No it's not luck! We see this light because we evolved from species who adapted to the light given from our sun over millions of years!

Astrophysics is not my field, but I understand that other types of suns would still give off light in our visible spectrum, but may produce a majority of light in other wavelengths. So a sun that produced more infrared light (such as a red sun) would produce nore infrared and less visible (to us) light. Light with shorter wavelengths are cooler colours (purples, blues) while longer wavelengths are warmer (reds, oranges).

But "visible" light of course is a very human-centric perspective as even on earth there are many organisms who can see outside of our visible range (and some who struggle to see our visible range at all!). We just evolved from organisms who adapted to the light that was the majority produced by our sun.

If humans were to have evolved on a planet with a different kind of sun, such as an orange sun, then we might have adapted to view whatever range of light was the majority produced. This would probably lean more into the infrared compared to our yellow sun and our vision would be adapted for that. If you took this hypothetical human who has adapted to a visible light spectrum that has leaned towards infrared, they might have a harder time seeing shorter wavelengths of light - what we perceive as blues & purples.

Now researching the cardassian sun, low and behold it's an orange sun!

So would you look at that, the Cardassians are our hypothetical humans!

But I'm not sure there's any evidence to suggest that they perceive colours differently from us, or that they perceive infrared or other longer light wavelengths than we do, despite their different sun. On the contrary, we know Cardassia Prime is dark. What does that actually mean for a planet to be dark? Well its a hot planet so they can't be far from the sun. It's a humid planet ao there might be a lot of cloud cover. But if the more of the light the sun gave off was outside of the visible spectrum, the planet would certainly appear darker to us and them.

So unless evidence is given to the contrary, we'll have to assume they perceive the same visible light spectrum that we do.

Now. What benefit does blocking all light except blue on a parietal eye give cardassians?

The best working theory we have about the spoon is that if it has a function at all, it functions as a parietal eye. That is the assumption I will be making here.

In species on earth, the parietal eye detects the presence of light and uses this to regulate circadian rhythm. Some species can also use it for navigating or to detect predators (if it's light above you and then suddenly dark, you might be about to be eaten!), but I'm not sure that's relevant to this question. Or rather we don't have a way to explain, test, or find supporting evidence for it. So I wont.

The parietal eye is basically a cluster of photoreceptors, usually rods (black & white) but sometimes also cones (colour vision). A blue pigment would filter out everything but blue light. If their parietal eye was just rods, then a blue filter means it would only detect the presence of light if it was blue spectrum. If their parietal eye was rods and cones, or just cones, then it might distinguish between multiple wavelengths of light, but the blue filter would restrict all but the blue spectrum.

If blue light has the same disruptive effects on cardassians as it does us, then this blue filter would not protect them. In fact it would ensure that is the only light that affects them! So what are the disruptive effects then?

Blue light acts as a signal to our brain to stay awake longer. Our brain does this by suppressing the production of melatonin. All light does this to some extent, but studies have shown blue spectrum light has a much stronger effect on this than other spectrums of light. It's also been theorized that blue light can have damaging effects on our eyes, which is why little devices held up to your face - such as the one I keep writing out these theses on speculative cardassian xenobiology - can cause eye strain and thus damage as well. Try to remember to take lots of breaks from your phone and don't forget to blink folks!

So will the blue pigment protect from this? Well, no because blue light is the only light getting through. But even if it was an orange-yellow pigment to block out blue spectrum light, kind of like our blue-blocking glasses, it probably still wouldn't help. Studies have shown our blue-blocking glasses don't seem to do the things they claim to do.

Either the technology isn't there for us yet or there's more going on with light and our bodies than we understand. Who would have thought, we are complicated biological machines afterall!

If we assume that blue light has a similar effect on cardassians as it does to us, perhaps there is a benefit to just allowing blue light through? Blue light messes up our sleep but put another way it reduces fatigue - what better way to stay awake than to bombard your eyes with the Stay Awake Beam? There is also some evidence to show that blue light can increase attentiveness, but there's not a large enough body of evidence to say this conclusively, but we're already speculating about the theoretical organ of a fictional alien species so sure, we can have a little unsubstantiated claims as an treat. So dabbing that thang with some blue would allow this to happen. But you know what would also allow this to happen? Not dabbing that thing with some blue! Having no filter means just as much blue light would pass through, but it also means that other spectrums of light would pass through too.

So perhaps spectrums of light other than blue have the disruptive effects on cardassians that blue light has on us. We can speculate on that but that's pretty much all we can do. So what else might be happening?

We said Cadassia Prime has an orange sun. If we are assuming that cardassians see the same spectrum of visible light that we do, this means their orange sun would produce less purple snd blue light. Still some, but less than our yellow sun. If there is less blue light produced overall, perhaps having a filter that allows you to detect the presence of blue light at all, might have a benefit in the environment they adapted in. What that benefit is, we can only guess. But if there's less of something that you want to find, having an enhanced ability to detect it would be an advantage!

But if it's an advantage, why do females (typically) apply this pigment and not males?

As I've mentioned before, cardassians are an intelligent and ruthless people. If dabbing that thang with blue would give them an advantage men would do it too. So why don't they? Except for Elim Garak.

There could be a sex difference in how light is perceived by the spoon between males and females. But if there is, then we don't have any evidence to back that up. Sadly we can count on our hands how many female cardassians we meet through the whole of star trek and it ain't many.

In fact I'll do it off the top of my head!

There was Gul Ocett, girlboss, and i believe first cadassian we see with blue on the neck ridges. There were those two female cardassian scientists. There was that one cadassian that put O'Brien on trial. There was Natima Lang who also had a little chest spoon that we haven't seen before or since (though we don't see a lot of cadassian chests). She also had a female student. There's the cardassian that Kira was gaslit into thinking she was. There's Ziyal, of course. And who could forget Elim Garak's nanny. There's certainly more I missed, but the fact of the matter is there isn't many! All of which (except Ziyal) have blue on their forehead spoon. Some have blue on their neck ridges, but that seems to be less consistent.

We can speculate about how wavelengths of light might effect females differently from males, but beyond the presence of blue pigments, we don't have any evidence for differences between the cardassian sexes. But even if we assume there is a difference, and that the blue pigment serves a function on the spoon, why do some cardassians then also dab a little blue on their neck ridges too? Certainly there can't be parietal eyes there too, and if there's some other special organ what are the odds that an additional pair of theoretical organs on the neck would benefit from the same blue pigment as the head spoon.

The simplest explanation is of course, it's just make-up. Without some evidence to suggest that there's a sex difference, if dabbing blue gave some kind of advantage males would use it just as commonly. Garak is the only male we have seen dab that thang and it goes unremarked the single time we see it.

That might also seem like the boring answer, but it's interesting to think about what social dynamics or pressures may have led to them dabbing some blue. Is blue associated with arousal and this is like a blush situation? Is this ornamental, but just something that females do (and also Garak), like when women from earth wear different colours of eyeshadow and other makeup? Is this a hierarchical thing that female cardassians do and this is why the neck ridges are inconsistent? Why only blue? Are we just dead wrong in assuming it's make-up and it's actually a dimorphic trait? Still lots to speculate on even with the "boring" answer! But perhaps that's more the realm of specualtive xenoanthropology than specualtive xenobiology.

The funniest explanation to me however, which I've needed this whole post of background just to reach, is that perhaps cardassians just cannot see blue - we established on their orange sun planet they may have shifted their visible spectrum of light - and the pigment they dab on is just some sort of "colourless" salve or ointment that is used more by females. It goes unremarked by other cardassians because it blends in with what they perceive as fleshtone, and it goes unremarked by everyone else because no one wants to ask the ladies the insensitive question of "why you got blue up on there?" Which leads to countless starfleet debates on the social or biological purposesnof the blue, but the reality is just like "sometimes the spoon and neck gets itchy."

As a quick but important tangent, a lot of cardassian uniforms also seem to emphasize a tear or diamond shaped mark on the chest right where Natima Lang's was. This might imply that all cardassians have another spoon right in the chest. And if they do have a matching chest spoon to their forehead spoon... It kind of begs the question of why? If it's another parietal eye (i guess it would be more like... A thoracic eye?) they don't mind covering up so it certainly doesn't have any function that cardassians care about. The reality of all this is the killjoy one that i mentioned at the top if my last post, which is that a lot of this stuff was just designed in the 90's without a thought about functionality.

However I would like some to write me a 4-5 page essay on the function of the chest spoon next. Chop chop!

And for the love of the prophets people it's not a bullet or phaser hole... They don't even use bullets anymore unless evil Picard packs a six shooter just for executions...

I have been thinking about gul dukats skull all day and I need a moment alone with the cardassian lovers to discuss why the spoon would have a Hole. Its like the soft spot of a babys skull… what are the anatomical implications here…

[bazelgeuce]

I'm so fucking tired

[hazbin-writings-and-musings]

Hey there!! Can I request Angel Dust x reader romance headcanons by chance? Thank you so much!!❤️

Indeed you can, dear anon! Gotta love our dear spider boy!

One of the first big milestones in your relationship is being introduced to Fat Nuggets. That little HellPig means everything to Angel, so it's understandably important to him that the two of you get along, especially if things are going to get serious. Thankfully, the little pig adores you from the moment he meets you; cuddling up for pets, oinking happily, and zooming about with excitement until he tuckers himself out. Angel takes that as a stamp of approval.

- Hope you're up for some PDA, because he rather enjoys being affectionate in front of others, and that includes everything from being sweet and schmoopy to hot and heavy, though he prefers the former when in more familiar company. When out on the town, he's much more inclined to get handsy, and he really wants you to do the same. Just take care not to smudge his makeup. On the softer end of the spectrum, he loves to cuddle up on the couches in the Hotel parlor, laying his long frame over or under yours for a four armed embrace. Depending on who's taller, sitting on each other's lap is also a must, which he'll joke is just a way to conserve available chairs for other guests.

- He knows he's attractive, and he certainly wants to hear you say so, but he's also quite big on compliments that don't focus on his appearance, even if he doesn't say as much. Praising his sense of humor, his combat prowess, or his kindness will always make his day, and it's one of the few things that can still get him flustered. Compliments on his style make him equally happy, as he puts a great deal of effort into choosing outfits and maintaining his appearance, so having that time be appreciated let's him know you respect it.

- He's somewhat wary of gifts, coming from a background where everything has a string attached, but going slow and heeding his boundaries will allow him to see you don't expect anything in return. Little presents actually mean the most to him, especially when you take the time to get something meaningful to him specifically. A new collar for Fat Nuggets, a rare palette from his favorite eyeshadow brand, a pair of sunglasses to compliment an incomplete outfit... He rarely knows how to express his gratitude, but the fierceness with which he protects every item speaks for itself.

- He likes to go on dates, and always wants there to be a bit of variety to keep things fun. Going out to clubs, seeing a show, fancy dinner dates... He wants to do it all, and he's got the cash to make it happen. Even if he's paying though, he'll love it if you show some chivalry. Open his door, escort him to the table, pull out his seat; that sort of thing will turn it from a good evening to a great one in his books, because it shows that you see him as someone to respect and cherish, and he's secretly got quite a thing for classic romance.

[chrrywvea]

poolverine + sensory overload while grocery shopping anyone? taken from personal experience and the mountain of poolverine fics i've consumed already

disclaimer: if any of the aspects i've written for logan being autistic (it isn't mentioned but this was my intention here) are offensive or falsely written tell me immediately! i am undiagnosed but after quite a lot of my friends (both on the spectrum and not) telling me multiple times to get checked and TONS of research i'm pretty sure i'm on the spectrum as well. soooo this is basically what i've gathered from research, other fics and my own experiences with stuff like this. thanks! also minimal use of slightly stronger language (the f word, hurray :-D)

this is so bad i'm sorry

They were in the sweets aisle, trying to pick out various snacks for their movie night later on. It was bustling all around them, the small supermarket full with families and screaming kids and chatty old ladies and noise, so much fucking noise-

Logan flinched when something touched his cheek, belatedly realizing that Wade stood in front of him, their half-filled cart discarded by their side and one of his hands raised to his face.

"Sorry sweetums," Wade smiled sheepishly, "Didn't wanna scare you. You looked a little out of it. Breathing a little heavy and all"

Logan harrumphed, looking at the floor between them. Wade was wearing his bright neon pink converse again, the laces red on one side and yellow on the other, which was admittedly... cute. He remembered how proud Wade had been as he stumbled out of the bedroom with poorly conceiled excitement, shoving his shoes in his face because look peanut, our suits-

Once again he was forced out of his head and back into the disgustingly loud supermarket as Wade took his hand, gently stroking over his knuckles.

Logan managed to rip his gaze back to Wade's face, finding such genuine understanding in those lovely eyes that he felt even more queasy than he already did. Damn you, Wilson.

His head spun from the onslaught of everything, noise and lights and embarrassment forcing a very unwelcome wetness to gather in his eyes. The hand Wade was holding shook lightly. His whole body trembled. Fuck, he wanted to say something, wanted to assure his boyfriend that he was okay, but his throat worked, his mouth opened, yet nothing came out.

"Hey" Wade's voice was so soft. He didn't flinch this time as his hand came to rest on his cheek, the touch featherlight and warm.

An embarrassingly high whimper left him as some shrieking children passed by and his eyes screwed shut, trusting Wade to handle the rest.

And suddenly...

Wait.

Madonna quietly played in his ears?

Confused, he cracked his eyes open and saw Wade watching him, holding his phone up for him to see.

"Don't worry your pretty head Wolvie, you've got noise cancelling headphones on. Courtesy of moi, if you please, buuut you gotta suffer through my shower playlist for the time being. It's the only one I have downloaded."

An opened note read. Wade mouthed a "sorry" at him, but the sheepish grin told him he wasn't. At all. Though Logan knew him well enough, so very well, that if he even mentioned that it was too much Wade would immediately switch it all off.

Logan had to admit, the music dialed the incessant chattering and shouting around him pretty much down to zero.

The wonders of technology, he supposed.

Wade held his hand and waited patiently as Logan just breathed for a bit, trying to calm his racing heartbeat. One jerky motion to the phone and the mercenary handed it over, watching as Logan typed with unsteady hands.

"Can we leave please? S too much"

The note was so timid, so careful in fear of rejection that Wade felt his poor heart squeeze in his chest - gosh dang it if only people knew how gentle and loving the man in front of him was.

"Sure hun we were pretty much finished anyway. You good if we go check out real quick? Al's gonna cook us instead if we don't bring something back home, and while you taste pretty good I can't promise that for myself ;-D... we can use the self check out, it's quicker"

Logan surprised both of them with the huff of amusement that left him as he nodded.

The focus he needed to use to read Wade's rambling in note form kept him safe from getting lost in his head again. His boyfriend’s ability to talk forever beyond might be pretty annoying at times, but Logan had long since found it to be comforting.

Wade carefully guided both of them through the maze of food aisles and too many people, keeping their hands intertwined while he pushed their cart until they found a free self checkout.

Logan zoned out a bit to the mindless music that played over the headphones as Wade went through their groceries, bagging them quickly. He payed before turning around to face him, motioning to the exit with his head.

They stopped just outside the store in a small secluded corner and Wade put the bags down at their feet, stepping closer and smiling again.

Logan smiled back, hoping it could convey the relief and love he felt without having to use words. He leaned closer, a little shyly, and with a quick look around he pressed a kiss to Wade's lips, reveling in the vibrations of a slight whine he could feel from his boyfriend. They parted and Logan took a deep breath in, pushing the air out of his lungs a lot more calmly than he had done mere minutes ago.

The headphones came off next and Logan sighed, shaking off the last bit of the sensory overload he'd just experienced as he scrubbed over his eyes. It was far more quiet outside, and his head felt a little fuzzy at most instead of the stinging buzz from before.

Cars honked in the distance, a light breeze drifted past him and the man he loved stood right in front of him, Logan's supernatural hearing picking up the steady thud of his heartbeat almost immediately.

"Love you bub."

Thank you.

"I love you too peanut! So much. More than Puppins too, but don't tell her that. She's already peed in my shoes once and I can tell you, that golden shower was not pleasant."

Logan snorted and both of them giggled, sharing another soft kiss before they hoisted the grocery bags back up.

The way home was filled with banter, clumsy kisses and bumping shoulders. Maybe one or two spilled milk cartoons as well, but that was a secret between them.

(Oh hello! Wade here! Deadpool, merc with a mouth, your personal wet dream, whatever pleases you perverted little readers - if you even attempt to tell Al about that last bit I'll torture this one with a little more writer's block! /Oh thanks Wade, so nice of you/ Shush you, this is my side note! So many ideas yet so little words... you decide pookies. Bye for now! I've got 400 pounds of sleepy kitty in my bed who likes me as his personal pillow. See ya!)

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

Hello<3 can you do Masky, Toby, Jeff and Ben with a mean teen readerr? Like there just mad all the time but its because of trauma or something?:0 I LOVE YOU SMM TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF MLLL!!<33

Jeff and Tim are NOT gonna take that shit 😰

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Masky

Honestly the dad in him comes out a bit

Like his whole thing is "what makes you think you get to act like that?"

He gets it, you've had a rough life but so has EVERYONE ELSE HERE

Just because your life sucked doesn't mean you get to be an asshole

He will treat you like a baby

Partly just to tick you off, and partly because if you act like a baby, you're gonna get treated like one

He'll put you in time out, he'll take things away, he'll put hot sauce in your mouth, etc

And the thing is, you can't even tattle to slender because slender agrees with Tim!

I think maybe here and there he'd ask you why you're always so angry, and what he can do to help, and if you don't answer, he doesn't mind because he understands

But if you do answer, your relationship begins to grow, and he learns how to help you out better

He doesn't want you to be mad all the time, because even though it might not seem like it sometimes, he does care about you

But as much as he cares, he also isn't gonna let a literal child bully him

He's way too old for that shit >:/

Toby

He's kind of scared of you

He just stays out of your way

His relationship with you is similar to his relationship with Jeff

He and Jeff are friends, yes, but they aren't close

And most of the time, Toby will choose to avoid Jeff rather than hangout with him

That's how he sees you too

You're a good kid! He just doesn't wanna upset you

The very few interactions you have with him are typically just him sucking up to you, or him doing his best to tiptoe around everything that could upset you

And because of this, you do take advantage of him sometimes

"Toby go get me a snack"

"I dunno y/n, don't you think you could go...get it yourself this time?" As he says this almost every word has a whistle or click after it, showing how nervous he is

You will slowly turn your head to look at him with a glare "I know you aren't calling me lazy"

"No, no! I-I would never! I'm just saying-"

"OH! So you're calling me fat then?"

"No!"

"Then go get me a snack before i make you regret the day your mommy queefed you out"

He REALLY needs to learn to stand up for himself smh

And typically he is pretty good at standing up for himself but yk

Kids scare him

Jeff

With his explosive anger issues you will not last more than 3 seconds around him omg

He is not above fist fighting a child btw

I mean yk, he'd get punished for it but that doesn't stop him

The second you try anything around him he checks you real quick

If you back off, he will get a boost of pride and say some shit like "Yeah, that's what I thought"

If you double down with it, it will likely turn into an all out screaming match

Until someone pulls him away and is like "dude you can't be fighting with little kids :/"

He will always call you names and always be sour around yo

Crotch goblin, little shit, failed abortion

you know, the usual <333

Honestly im gonna be so real with you for a second, the way I see yalls relationship going is only to one drastic side of a spectrum

You could bond over your anger issues and become best friends/siblings with an unbreakable bond

OR you could become so sour towards each other that the caretakers of the manor literally have a meeting about changing your schedule a bit to get around Jeff's

No in between its only one of those two

Yeah, Jeff doesn't take no shit from anyone

Even children, gotta teach em young <333

Ben

Ben, being so chill genuinely does not care what you do to him

Since he doesn't have a physical body, you can't fight him either

So sometimes he will pick fights with you just to make you mad

I'm desperately trying to make Ben's section more than 3 bullets long

I'm telling you he literally does not care, does not react, NOTHING.

You could be screaming at him and he will just continue about his day like you aren't even there

Which of course, makes you more mad

But again, he doesn't care

Making you try harder and harder just to get a reaction out of him

The only reaction you will get is out of Jeff, and we already talked about his dramatic ass

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

me again. sorry if i’m being overwhelming or something i am just an autism creature who does not know much of social interaction boundaries .

speaking of autism, could i have a mini hc of the m6 dealing with/reacting to mc having a meltdown? if it’s too difficult i understand, and if you need help i can provide information ~

-🪩

The Arcana Mini-HCs: M6 when autistic!MC has a meltdown

Hiya! I've done a little quick research and based off of that and my own experience speaking with friends/family members on that spectrum, I'm going to write specifically about meltdowns as a result of being overstimulated/triggered by a bad stimulus. I understand that every experience is different, so please, if I got anything wrong, let me know so I can continue to educate myself and correct the mistake! :)

Julian: you know that moment when the wrong formula gets you the right answer? well, he thought it was PTSD the first time he saw you meltdown and it somehow led him to do actually helpful things - e.g., getting you somewhere quiet, paying attention to what was triggering you and getting rid of it, giving you Good textures to hold

Asra: so much difficulty comprehending what was happening the first time, because as tuned in to you as they are, empathy is not their strong suit. he's come a long way since, and now he's quick to notice potential triggers/triggering situations and help navigate you around them. uses spells to help you block out/neutralize specific stimuli

Nadia: she feels so much more ashamed for her reaction now than she made you feel the first time you had a meltdown in front of her. Now she's a fierce advocate for your personal space, makes sure all the clothes she wears are sensory friendly, and will drop whatever she's doing to get you somewhere safe and private when you need it

Muriel: he gets it. feeling so uncomfortable and out of control that the only instinctive response left is falling to pieces? yep. not only did he give Morga the stinkeye until she backed off, he helped you get away from the trigger that sent you over the edge, offered his cloak for physical pressure/good textures, and kept you from getting hurt

Portia: her approach to understanding things about you that don't immediately make sense to her is just "hmmm, Magician Thing." So you get overwhelmed with too many Wrong sensations? That makes sense, being a magician must mean constant exposure to new things. She'll get you space to work it out and comfort you after

Lucio: insanely understanding and here's why: he went from three years of total sensory deprivation to having a fully functioning body in half a second. he relates so much to the feeling of "too much input, gotta explode because NO" that he will get more defensive of you than he needs to be. The dogs are quick to ground you as well

[ghostscrown]

As an aroace person on the extreme side of the spectrum with zero sexual nor romantic attraction at all, I gotta admit something.

I can't relate to the "ask allos to describe how attraction feels and be confused" memes, because I actually understand when allos describe the physical and mental sensations of attraction.

I can in fact feel it when I daydream about fake scenarios and there's a character who feels attraction.

Like, in real life I don't feel it. I've never felt it. I very most likely will never feel it. But I can feel it if the character(s) in my daydreaming scenario do(es).

Like, idk if it's because I have a very vivid imagination and/or if it's because of my maladaptive daydreaming (actual madd, not misusing the term — it's probably linked ngl). But I can feel pretty much whatever the hell the characters are feeling. So when I have a daydream session and the character(s) I project my sensations into is/are allos. I very much feel the attraction. Mentally and physically. The butterflies in stomach and melting heart and hot face and stuff. I feel it. Not "imagining". Literally. I. Feel. It.

Idk how or why but I just do. Never in real life, never watching movies or stuff. Only through my specific maladaptive daydreaming sessions.

[dreorig]

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Can you see what I see?

You and Eddie have been friends for a while now, but you never told him about your schizophrenia as you thought that was unnecessary — until you saw Eddie talking to an alien head attached to his shoulder.

Content/Warnings: eddie brock x male reader | mainly comedy | talk about hallucinations | the slightest mention of prejudice | some violent words. you know, it's venom | not really fluff but kinda. not sure how to label this | nsfw language | suggestive content

Word count: 1.5k

Notes: i'm on the schizophrenic spectrum and this is self indulgent, sorry not sorry. sometimes i see things that you're not supposed to see and i just fuck with it, which made me think that i wouldn't really freak out seeing venom. and now we're here. there's no smut or anything but eddie's a bottom i gotta say (i feel it in my heart). it's mostly silly because we might face the horrors™ but we stay silly. enjoy heheh :)

You had decided to visit a new friend of yours (possibly a crush?), Eddie Brock. It's not like you had anything better to do.

Approaching his door, you just pushed it open, knowing such formalities as knocking on the door were inexistent between you both already. Right away you saw Eddie sitting on the couch, playing what was undoubtedly Yakuza — handsome and with a good taste in games, of course you wanted to kiss him each time you caught yourself staring at him. Oh, he also had a weird alien-looking head popping out of his shoulder talking about a delicious brain it had eaten once. You just shrugged.

"Hi, Eddie!" you closed the door behind you, walking towards the kitchen in hope of finding a clean glass because you were thirsty as hell. "Dear God, this house is a mess! Mine's probably worse, though."

Hey, you found the glass!

"Y/N, what are you doing here?!" Eddie asked with a very alarmed voice, following you.

"Eat him!" you heard the head shout.

"Stop that already! He's my friend! I'm not eating him!"

You stared in confusion as you saw Eddie arguing with the head. You leaned against the wall, rather bored, waiting for it to go away. You sipped your water instead of saying anything, perhaps that cold water was just what you needed. Eddie didn't need to get dragged into the mess that was your mind. Just a little bit and the hallucination would go away.

Eddie suddenly stopped saying anything, unlike the head, and looked at you in some sort of shock, which was cool because it looked like you were finally slipping back into reality and seeing what Eddie was really doing and saying.

Wait— shit, if Eddie was staring at you like that then maybe you said something without noticing? It was okay, you could just play it cool. You smiled and raised your cup, "What? Can't a guy drink his friend's water?"

"You… you're not scared?" Eddie asked, looking like he had seen a ghost.

Oh, okay, you definitely muttered something about your hallucination without noticing. What good would it do trying to gaslight him into believing you said nothing now? You should just say the truth.

"Nah, not really. Years ago I would be but it's just a part of my everyday life now. Nothing to worry about. Sorry if I scared you."

"Y/N, I don't—"

"You? Scary? He's funny, Eddie. I told you to not eat him."

You began, completely ignoring Eddie and looking at the head, "Look,— can't believe I'm arguing with an alien head that is not even real— most people are just normal with normal minds and normal thoughts, like Eddie. What normal person wouldn't be alarmed if I suddenly said I'm seeing a freaking alien head attached to him out of the blue? It's not even like I'm a cool dude with abilities that let me talk to ghosts like Norman or anything, you're just another hallucination."

Now imagine how confused poor Eddie was. Hallucinations? Normal people? Eddie being a normal person? Who even was Norman? He wanted to understand what was going on but with you and Venom arguing it was almost impossible.

"I'm real! And I'm not an alien!" the head shouted, sounding very insulted. "I take it back, let's eat him!"

Eddie has had enough, so he tried his best to just whisper, "Venom, would you just shut up for once and let us talk?!'

"Fine, but keep it in mind that if he offends me again I'll rip him apart and eat his brain with chopsticks!"

You stuck your tongue out to the alien as childish as you could and it did the same — why was its tongue so long?!

Eddie just sighed as Venom finally disappeared. He was really confused. What were you talking about? Were you an agent? Perhaps you had your own symbiote? Could be the only reasons why you weren't scared at all. He got closer to you, putting his hands on your shoulders and looking into your eyes.

"Y/N, you're not scared of what you saw, right?"

"Nope."

"And you've seen it before?"

"Yep."

"Then you know what it is, right?"

"Duhh, of course. Another hallucination of mine."

"You have hallucinations?"

"Yeah," you chucked. "Every now and then. It's not a symptom that affects me too much, though."

"Symptom?" he tilted his head. "Of what?"

"Oh well, I haven't told you but I have schizophrenia. Before you say anything, I swear that I'm not violent or a threat and that's just some really hurtful prejudice people still have against us that—"

"Y/N," Eddie released your shoulders to hold your hands. "Right now, I'm the last person who could say anything. And honestly, It's not something that bothers me in the slightest."

"Hah, he's insane just like you, Eddie!"

You put a hand on your hip, pointing a finger to nowhere specific, "Hey, you! I don't know where you are but don't you talk about Eddie like that!"

"Ah, so…" Eddie cracked an embarrassed smile. "I'm afraid he's kind of right, I'm not the most sane person at all. And that's why I was so shocked when you opened the door."

"He? What," your eyes widened. "Dude, so you really heard that voice, too?! And I'm just not hallucinating you arguing with that head?!"

"I did, yes. Now you understand my surprise in seeing you? I know what I'm going to tell you sounds like a very crazy story but you gotta believe me."

"Man, haven't I just told you I'm a schizo? Nothing sounds crazy to me. Spit it out because now I'm hella curious."

Eddie hardly knew how to behave. You were the first person to see him talking to his symbiote without thinking he was completely insane and screaming or paralysing after seeing Venom himself. In fact, you looked like a child who was very excited to hear what cool story his parents had to tell him this time.

"What you saw is a symbiote, his name is Venom and we're… kind of bonded. You see, he needs a host and that's how I ended up in this position. I won't hurt you— hell, I'd never. You just can't tell this to anyone, please."

"That's so cool, dude!" You grinned wide. "You don't sweat it, my mouth is sealed! Do you mind if I ask you a few things?"

"It's the least I could do." He chuckled. "Go on."

"You control the symbiote?"

"Not exactly? It's more of a mutual work. Although he takes control over me sometimes, this stubborn creature."

"You're just too soft, Eddie! I gotta do everything myself!"

Only then you remembered the symbiote could talk. You asked, "Hey, Venom, would you mind showing up? Please?" 

"Ohh, then Eddie says the same I did and now you suddenly think I'm real? Don't feel like doing so."

"Oh, c'mon! Pretty please? I wanna apologise."

Within seconds Eddie was completely enveloped by the tall and imposing symbiote, who crossed his arms. "You better."

You were beaming with happiness. What a magnificent day. When would you be able to look at a symbiote so closely again?

"Venom, buddy, you're amazing! Truly! I'm sorry for calling you an alien and doubting your existence. You must understand I'm a little out of touch with reality sometimes and I thought you were part of this mess. Now I'm very aware of who you are, though. Are we okay?" you offered Venom a hand shake.

Instead of shaking your hand, he picked you up and hugged you tight. "Hah, I like you, little man! No wonder why Eddie wants you to kiss him."

As if you weren't already happy enough. You smirked, "He does?"

"He does!"

Eddie could advocate for himself but he was so embarrassed that now he preferred being in full Venom mode, this way you wouldn't see his clearly red face.

"Venom, would you mind letting me see Eddie again? Please? I need his help with something."

"More like he needs your help."

Venom let go of you, then just like he had appeared, he disappeared and Eddie was the one in front of you again. He looked so cute with his flustered face that for a moment all you could think about was how even cuter he would look bouncing on your cock.

"Hi, Eddie. Heard you wanted me to kiss you," you took a step closer, having your face just a few inches away from his.

"I- I mean… perhaps? Maybe. I do, yes. Only if you want," Eddie avoided your gaze when he mumbled.

You held his waist and gently pushed him against the island, making Eddie gasp softly when his back hit the cold marble of the countertop.

"Oh, I do. I want to kiss your hands, your forehead, your cheeks, your neck and, last but not least, your lips. I want to kiss you everywhere. And do a few more things other than that if you allow me to."

Eddie felt his hands shake in anticipation as he wrapped them around your neck and closed his eyes. "Fuck, yes, please."

You chuckled before finally leaning in to kiss Eddie.

[elvenbeard]

I'm a big fan of "discovering yourself through your blorbos" and man, if Vince didn't play a huge part in my own self-discovery and understanding and accepting myself more journey over the last 1.5 years I don't even know anymore xD So, in the same vein, here's a lil rambly headcanons post for Vince and his sexuality and gender!

I've continuously developed him over this time span too. Or I'd prefer to say, gotten to know him better, because at his core he is still the same guy with the same nice and shitty traits xD I just know more about him as a person now than I did when I first made him.

And like, it's funny. In the beginning I sort of had him in my head as a nonbinary person, but very quickly, while still walking through Arasaka Tower for the first time on the way to Jenkins, I realized like "nah, he is a guy and would make sure everyone has no doubts about it" xD It's the same with his attraction being exclusively towards men (and the first pic of him above has gotta be one of my faves I ever took of him ;__;)

But now lately (as in, over the course of a couple of months at least) I have been wondering and asking myself if maybe he's also somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. Because yeh, if you know him, he has had many flings and is not shy about telling someone that he likes him - but usually not in a romantic sense. Serious romantic relationships he's had two before meeting Kerry, and even those were off to a rocky start. Even with Kerry there was first only physical attraction and only has he properly got to know him, heard about his fears and there was a basis of trust and vulnerability established between them, he started to have romantic feelings. And so yeh! I'm not sure if he'd really put a concrete label on this specifically, because a lot of his chaotic relationships and inability to trust others easily also comes from his messy childhood, so he probably wouldn't be sure himself how to distinguish between both (I'm a bit unsure myself XD). But still, grey- or demiromantic could be something I would see for him, even if it's not as major of a part of his identity as being proudly trans and gay.

So yeh! Thank you for coming to my blorbo talk, and happy pride y'all, may your blorbos also help you understanding yourself better by understanding them better :3

[solargeist]

I'll officially debut the joint Warcher oc that is based off of the Tekkit Mod!

Kit (he/they) is the tequila uncle to Flora's vodka aunt energy and Aether's wine mom vibes. They are the tallest of the Watcher trio with lighter hair than Grian. He probably looks the most actually related to G, except for how lanky they are and their freckles being rather predominant whenever their goggles aren't in the way.

Before becoming a Watcher, he was on a solo Tekkit world that started to behave... strangely around him, much like how Grian's base in Evo felt haunted at times.

They ended up joining the Watchers and are really only still a Watcher because of the borderline unlimited access to supplies it gave them for tinkering and working on grand projects and machines.

To Watchers outside of Grian, Aether, and Flora, he might seem like a laid-back guy who is most likely high and who just wants to be left to their own devices. To those he considers his family, they know him to be a bit more calculating than that and not as absent-minded as to just be focused of machinery.

To understand something, to Know it really, you have to Know its weaknesses, too. Watchers are no different. If Watchers remain the only ones in circulation, their culture will grow stagnant, and their progress will be stunted.

Isn't it convenient how every Listener gets their hands on technology imbued with magic that makes Watchers uncomfortable when they try to use their magic?

Wonder who started that.

Kit was also the most encouraging of Grian stepping away from the Watchers. "Gotta let the little birds fly on their own sometimes, ya know?"

-Lunar

the silly debuts ..... I like how the trio is like.. a spectrum of like.. everything....? Aether has dark hair, Kit has blonde, and Flora's is white.. Flora is the shortest, Kit the tallest. Aether the most religious... They're ... dare i say.... all dumbasses.....

we slowly filling up the watcher domaine

*tho i do want to add a disclaimer so people don't get confused: we write the watchers and listeners differently

[hazyaltcare]

How do you feel about tulpamancy? I've only just started looking into it but I think it falls under the plural category if I understand correctly? I'm still trying to figure the implications of creating a headmate and like. Being responsible for their personhood? I'm vaguely plural as in I'm me running in parallel with more me but I don't usually think of myself as such in my everyday life. I'm trying very hard to make sure I'm not appropriating terms that aren't mine (and I'm not even sure if I should be using the term tulpa for what I'm thinking even though it sounds the closest). I'm lonely and want there to be more people in my head but I don't want to make people think I'm voluntary "getting more crazy" on purpose as some people might say. How trivial is it to create a friend this way? Seeking the opinion of people who are plural to figure out if I'm just co-opting plurality to "create an imaginary friend" so to speak. Sorry if any of this is upsetting.

Mod Vintage 👤(Pho):

not upsetting at all! thank you for asking, anon. other mods, feel free to add!

TL;DR

plurality is a label that includes all more-than-one experiences.

yes, this includes tulpa/tulpamancy (though we instead use the term thoughtform/thoughtforming on this blog).

we think tulpamancy /thoughtforming is a perfectly valid and morally neutral way to exist. it's part of the diversity of life experiences.

plurality is a spectrum. experiences of people who aren't 100% separate, e.g. medians, plurallet, pluralflux, muses, and daemons can also be plural, if they choose to see themselves that way.

you're not appropriating plurality if you want to make your own headmate. you'd be plural.

it's okay to want to be plural.

being a singlet or being "sane" doesn't work for everyone - that should be respected.

life's hard. be "insane" if you want. pretend to be a spy analyzing secret documents to make paperwork bearable. listen to "fictional character inspires you" playlists to have a reason to live. have friends in your head. if it works, it works.

creating another person is not trivial, because:

a) they'd be a person with their own thoughts, boundaries, feelings, needs, wants, etc., so you and your systemmate(s) must respect each other and be open-minded and responsible.

b) that means intrasystem conflict will happen. conflict resolution is something you(r system) must be willing to learn.

c) it'll make you deviate even further from the norm, so you gotta be ready to assert your boundaries and find people/communities who respect you and your systemmate(s).

if creating another person in your head isn't for you, but you still want a friend, daemonism is a viable alternative, because a daemon is basically a part of you/your mental conversation.

also, there is no rush. take your time. your decision is valid and should be respected, regardless if you choose to create a headmate or not.

Full post will be under the cut, because it's long.

cw: self-harm mention, ableism

disclaimer: the links we share here are not sponsored, and your mileage may vary. take what fits you and discard what you don't. all links are shared for informational purposes only, and not a specific endorsement of the writer/s.

.

I'm vaguely plural as in I'm me running in parallel with more me but I don't usually think of myself as such in my everyday life. I'm trying very hard to make sure I'm not appropriating terms that aren't mine (and I'm not even sure if I should be using the term tulpa for what I'm thinking even though it sounds the closest).

plurality is an umbrella term that encompasses all forms and reasons for being more than one (having more than one consciousness/person/etc. in your body). so yes, that includes tulpamancy! if you create another person in your mind, that means you're not "co-opting" plurality or appropriating terms. you would be/are plural.

also, here are things to remember:

plurality in itself is not inherently a disorder. plurality is also not a diagnosis. plurality can be a neurodivergent way of life, yes. but it doesn't have to be detrimental, debilitating, or diagnosed. diagnosis involving being more than one (DID, OSDD, trance disorder, etc.) involve the plurality causing distress/trauma/etc. in their life.

plurality is a spectrum. some plurals are closer to singlets than multiples, too. have you heard of the terms median, pluralflux, and plurallet? have you heard about muses aka OCs becoming sentient (here and here)? how about daemons? those can also be part of the plural experience.

plurality can also be a label, which means you can choose to test it, see if it feels right, and you may even not use it anymore if it doesn't feel right anymore.

the term tulpa or tulpamancy isn't used on this blog specifically, because we use the thoughtform tag, but it is one of the ways you can call making your own headmate, yes.

in our opinion, tulpamancy/thoughtforming is valid and a morally-neutral way of existing. it is a part of the diversity of life. and people who practice it should be respected.

I'm lonely and want there to be more people in my head but I don't want to make people think I'm voluntary "getting more crazy" on purpose as some people might say.

it is absolutely okay to want to be plural. conforming to singlethood/neurotypicality is not the only way to exist, nor is it the best one. being a singlet doesn't work for everyone, and it's okay if you think plurality will make your life better. it may very well do so!

after all, life is hard. pretending you're a spy analyzing secret documents can make paperwork easier. listening to "fictional character inspires you" youtube videos to help you wake up in the morning is a perfectly good reason to wake up. we know people in plural system who who refuse to harm the body, because their systemmates will have to endure it.

if it works, it works. you don't have to be a "sane" adult to live your best life.

and you know what? it made our lives better too! in fact, the robot who was manufactured in this chassis (person who was born in the body we live in) was never plural until their/the chassis' 20s. singlethood did not work well for them. they wanted to be plural, so they opened the gateways as a way to make life more manageable, respectability be damned. that robot is not here anymore, but we absolutely don't want to be a singlet.

it's not easy to be plural (i'll talk about it more later). but for us, it's 100% worth it. your mileage may vary.

How trivial is it to create a friend this way?

Internal Factors

it's not trivial. creating a new person means you have to be responsible, respectful, and open-minded. it's like living with a roommate, except the roommate is in your body.

it means they're also a person with feelings, opinions, and boundaries, wants and needs, gender and sexuality, interests, and sometimes even neurotype/disability presentation that may very well be different from yours.

especially after they've started experiencing life and growing as a person.

maybe they'll start as a part of you, maybe they wouldn't be fully-formed. but they will grow and change a lot as they live. just like a separate-bodied person, one should not force their systemmates to be what they want. (i mean, they can, but it'd be abusive, generally.)

and they'll be autonomous, for a lot of people. you won't be the "POV character" for everything, and not everything will revolve around you, especially if they start fronting more.

having another person, of course, also means conflict. even if you don't have a specific disorder. it's not a matter of if you'll have a disagreement with your systemmate(s), it's a matter of when. i won't sugarcoat it - in-system conflict will bleed into your out-system life. (that's why when people say "don't focus so much on alterhuman stuff, you have to focus on real life/meatspace/out-system!1!!1" it's bullshit. because your alterhumanity - plurality, in this case - is also an aspect of your real/meatspace/out-system life!)

if you let it fester, it may very well cause a disruption of meatspace responsibilities, intratrauma (in-system trauma), and/or physical pain. so, you(r system) must learn conflict resolution. once again, respect, responsibility, and open-mindedness are important here.

about conflict resolution: there are many guides on how to solve problems within a system's plural collective. however, not all of them will fit your system or your problems. so, you(r system) gotta learn, which advice is good for you and which one isn't. every system is different. one advice cannot apply to every system. if a guide doesn't work for you, it doesn't mean the way your system works is "wrong".

External Factors

because a lot of the time, what makes being plural hard isn't yourselves, but other people.

the other thing that isn't trivial is the fact that you'll be deviating even more from the norm - like you said, some people will invalidate you and say you're "appropriating" or "getting more crazy". a lot of people judge plurals, especially plurals who don't fit into a medical paradigm. and in-system conflicts are not generally something you can talk about openly unless you disguise it as out-system conflicts.

so, we advise that you and your systemmate(s) try to find inclusive communities and people. find those that won't judge your existence. it'll be hard, yes, but you won't be alone. the block and mute buttons will also help a lot.

Closing Thoughts

we are not trying to scare you off from thoughtforming. because plurality can really enrich your life. your systemmate(s) can bring you second opinions on something. they can joke around with you as you wash dishes so the sisyphean task becomes more bearable. you can have a peanut gallery, a confidant, a friend, a partner... as long as you and your systemmate(s) are willing to respect each other.

here are some examples of plural joy!

if you have worries about making another person in your head for selfish/frivolous reasons, this article might also help: "bad reasons not to make a tulpa"

however, if you've read all this and asked yourself:

what if making a headmate isn't for you, but you still want a friend in your head?

daemonism is one alternative.

recently, there's a post going around on tumblr saying, "if you can't handle the commitment, loss of control, etc. of having a full-on another person in your mind, you can try daemonism because it's basically giving a form to your mental conversations, and if you don't interact with them, they'll just merge back into you."

here is the post, titled "try daemonism before tulpamancy".

(we aren't daemians/people who have daemons, so we can't give more insight. please look into the daemonism community for more answers!)

regardless, take your time. there is no rush. your decision is valid and deserves respect, no matter if you choose thoughtforming or not. we hope this can help at least a little, anon, we wish you all the best!

mod vintage 👤 (Pho)

[softcthulhuwu]

Rambling thoughts after the first two episodes:

Now this might just be because I'm autistic and always chafe against rigid boxes and definitions, but it seems to me that our first spooky tales from the OIAR don't really fit neatly into Smirke's categories that we're all so used to from the Archives.

Granted one of them is fairly classic cut and dry Eye shit, but the other two seem to purposely skirt the boundaries between things like the Flesh and the Stranger etc.

Now of course in the Archives we have a fair few episodes that get funky with the boundaries especially later on like in the apocalypse, the chief example that comes to mind being the big ocean Jon had to row across seeming to be a fun mix of the horror the incomprehensibly huge of the Vast, and the crushing all consuming pressure you'd associate more with the Buried

But my point being that in season one in particular, aside from a few teething issues as a result of still figuring things out *badum tish*, most statements¹ fit fairly nicely into clear cut examples of the major fears. Makes sense, first season, gotta lay down the rules before you can get funky with them.

But here in Protocol we've got the benefits of it being a sequel series with a lot of the heavy lifting world-building-wise already done, most of the audience going in has preestablished expectations, so by starting with the old lines between the fears blurrier, this is an opportunity to hint that A) hey, maybe things are working not quite the same here, which IIRC was something they talked about on one of the livestreams after things were announced last year don't quote me on that I do not have a citation to hand (forgive me Hbomberguy for I have sinned),

And B) sure Smirke's system was one way of trying to understand the fears, but as we well learned last show, it's limited and imperfect, it's more of a spectrum than discreet categories. Smirke's was just one way of trying to break it down into more understandable chunks, but it's not the be-all end-all of it, and clearly far from the only way to do it. The OIAR has a whole massive handbook of its own categories to catalogue these things in a manageable way, one which is seemingly less concerned with philosophical ideas about "What kind of fear did you experience? That of prey hunted by predator, that of violent war-like carnage, livestock chopped up for parts?", and more of a nitty-gritty details oriented one, like a "okay but what actually happened to you, like, specifically? Was it 'reanimation - partial', or more an 'amalgamative', subsection 'semi' kinda deal? Yes this is important why do you ask" type system.

I dunno I just think it's cool and interesting, these are my late night thoughts I can't help it I'm in essay mode literally working on an essay about The Magnus Archives for uni. Getting a good grade in my autism interest it turns out is a thing that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

¹ not including Hilltop Road in this, Hilltop Road gonna Hilltop Road, that's a surprise tool to scare you later.

[septiccoffeefreak]

Unisexual is such a weird orientation to have because allos romanticize the hell out of the idea of The One, of having a soulmate, of falling in love one time and never again- the first love being your last.

But when that's actually, literally the reality for you, things get weird.

I don't have celebrity crushes. I don't have a "type", just my one person. I don't get butterflies from anyone else, no not even that guy at the restaurant that everyone else said was hot, no not even that celebrity everyone drools over.

If you're like me where you didn't meet the uni- of your unisexual until you were out of highschool or older, you're going through that awkward first love crush stages where you're all confused and don't know what to do with yourself WAY after everyone else has already gotten it.

I don't understand and can't understand how having crushes on different people supposedly "feels different" because it's impossible for it to happen again. The entire concept of "getting over" someone is fundamentally alien for me, because I fell once and only once and then those feelings just never went away. The idea of being in love with someone but simultaneously having small crushes you don't pursue is so out there for me, let alone something like polyamory. People having a crush more than one time feels so insane because I just...don't know what that's like and can't begin to imagine how you'd even navigate that, or how you'd feel.

It's also alienating in aro/ace spec spaces, because the idea of aro/ace people finding the "one" who will "fix" them is so often used as an aphobic talking point.

I'm still on the aroace spectrum. I'm still not allosexual or alloromantic. But my existence is used as a threat against other people like me, and that makes my orientation scary to them. I sound like an aphobic stereotype, I sound like a caricature, and I'm not, but it's easy to see why that'd be the impression someone gets when my experience is an assumed end point for all aspec people. and it's not.

unlike demi- or similar labels where attraction exists with conditions, unisexual and uniromantic gets used as a weapon by people who don't even know the word for it, because they're aphobic already so they sure as hell aren't going to know a microlabel like this. But they don't have to know about it to use it. The basic concept, wether they know the word or not, is used like an argument, and that SUCKS. Invalidating someone SUCKS.

Anyway, just some rambles from your local unisexual and uniromantic. (There's gotta be a way to speed that up, can we come up with a uni label for aroace?)

[thenewfuture]

Based on the latest DT episode, what do you think's going on here?

Well, let's find out shall we?

So we finally get to dissecting Nico's attempted murder attempt on Ace a few episodes ago. And before we get into all that I gotta say, Teruko got a better memory than me. Even putting aside the year and a half long hiatus, Teruko remembers all of the evidence and state of the gym from like the two minutes, not even, she got to investigate the scene, two days ago! Teruko, you don't remember how you got most of your scars, but you remember some dang tape and wire on a fan from a relatively quick glance. Make it make sense, make it make sense!

So she goes over a quick recap of the evidence and attempts to press Nico for more information, but before she can do that...

Here comes Mama Bear Hu. And I just gotta say this real quick, I don't mean to rant about this, or even compare too much....but I don't like Hu. I mean I don't hate her and she's not even my least favorite member of this cast or anything. But I can't give Hu anymore than the lukewarm,

"Oh Hu? Oh....sh-she's nice. She's....nice. Y-Y'know, she's just so......nice.... She's there a-and just so.....so......nice....."

She reminds me of Mahiru, and not in the good way. And there's no better example of this than in the two trials, and more-so here. Hu defends the people she likes or is close with and will try to deflect any and all sorts of criticism or contradicting points brought up to them when they've done something wrong. I understand that she considers Nico a friend, but these are some insane mental gymnastics you're partaking in to even say that it's not Nico's fault they almost committed murder. J and Charles point this out to her that she shouldn't defend a murderer as she's being nothing but a nuisance so far. Nico's an adult and Hu, as well as the fandom, needs to stop babying them; they can and need to be held accountable for their actions.

So we do go over Nico's murder in depth. And from we're seeing, it does seem to be similar to Arei's case of drop hanging. Getting a tool to lift up the victim before hanging them. I also really do like the Closing Argument style here because it essentially going over a murder plot, so it makes sense to put it here. And it even has an Act.0 because this is the prequel to the case we're working on now and this one never got finished. This proves that someone had to have knowledge of Nico's crime in order to kill Arei.

And so with that out of the way, how are our not victim and not killer doing.

Ooof. That's not good. Now this brings up an interesting and unique dynamic here. Ace is upset, rightfully so, because Nico tried to kill him and he's not even apologizing for it. To add insult to injury; no one has defended or backed Ace up yet. Remember how only moments ago Hu was ready and willing to defend Nico. Where's Ace's support? Nowhere to be found! Everyone before this point has only gotten on Ace's case for being a loud jerk, and again; they have good reason to. But when Ace actually does bring up good points like exposing David and being just a wee bit 'miffed' about Nico's plot, he's still being met with insults and beratement. And Nico, a slap on the wrist essentially. Only the finest hypocrisy here being served at the Despair Time Studios Mess-hall folks.

And on the other side of the spectrum is Nico. They know what they did was wrong, fully aware of what this entailed, and still tried to go through with it. Nico's actions and planning go beyond a spur of the moment killing, they were trying to escape and frame someone else for it. And what could Nico say at this moment? Saying 'sorry' isn't going to cut it or mean jack squat now that they've been exposed like this. This act will haunt them for the rest of the game.

It's kind of like a scenario that I, and many others, would have liked to have been explored in the DanganRonpa series. Having a killer live amongst the cast getting away with their murder. I'm sure you all remember that one rule in V3 where only the first murder counts, and what it would potentially have been like if Kiyo didn't kill Angie, but only Tenko instead. And so they would just have to deal with the fact that one of their friends is gone unnecessarily, and they can't do anything about it because of the rules. It's kinda the same thing here, I'm really interested to see where Ace and Nico go from here knowing full well what happened and how they're going to move on from that, if at all.

But I'm side tracking here. So Teruko realizes that the tape that Nico used and Arei's killer used could have only come from the gym, and it was missing the next day. If you all remember that funny little moment Rose and Teruko had at the gym at that time, this is where it finally comes into play. Rose is doubting herself and her head for being unreliable at times, and just look at what happens next.

LOOK AT THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT! THAT'S THAT GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE!

Teruko comes to Rose's aid saying that her distrusing of others this chapter has caused her also to make multiple mistakes in this trial. So while Teruko is still going to keep up her guard and look at things logically, she is still going to try and believe in others again. Attempting to find a happy medium.

GRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHH! I LOVE BELIEF AND DOUBT THEMES!!!!

Buuuuuuuut, this means that the tape could have only been taken during a very short timeframe as MonoTV hadn't replaced it yet,and with only a little pool of people from that timeframe, our two biggest suspects are....

Ace and Eden.

From here on it's a matter of determining who among these two is the least guilty. Hu brings up that because the rule of the BDA going off from three innocent peole discovering the body, that means that Eden is off the hook.

But the atomsphere must have gotten a little too cheery because here comes our boy, the fallen star antagonist himself, David, with some new surprising information!

David is saying that he saw the body first, implying that Eden no longer counts towards that total and she is still a suspect.

.....This is a complete fucking lie by the way, I assure you. Like, sir, no one is falling for this. But it's not about him seeing the body, it's merely the idea of him seeing the body, or some other third party seeing it before Eden that brings her back into the suspect spotlight again. And when asked why he would do such a thing, David simply goes...

David the emboidement of distruuuuuuust~

And with no one left on her side, most of the cast goes back to accusing Eden. Eden is crying, tears streaming down her face, asking, BEGGING for anyone to believe in her and come help.

.....And Teruko decides that to do that. While Eden is a suspect, she'll interrogate Ace for now and simply.......trust, in Eden for now.

Eden the embodiement of truuuuuuuuust~

So that's that for now. Me personally, while I could see it being Ace I have another suspect in mind.....

Hu.

And I'm not saying this because I dislike her or anything. I'm just saying that if the killer had to have knowledge of Nico's crime, I can imagine Nico going to Hu and telling her the gist of things. As for why Hu would do it in the first place? I'm not sure. She has as much reason as Ace does.

But what will happen next? That'll be determined on Friday! So see you then!

-Mod

[love-toxin]

As someone who is on both the ADHD and autism spectrums, but wishes to remain anonymous....

Would the fruity four still... like me? Even if I'm weird and stim with my hands? Or if I say weird things and curse creatively? It's been a massive self esteem battle for me, because both of the people that I dated previously left me when I confided in them that I was on both the ADHD and autism spectrums....

first of all, im so sorry that happened my love! nobody deserves that, especially not such a sweet person <3 ty for sending me this ask not only bc you're giving me a reason to self-indulgently write about the fruity four with an autistic angel, but also bc!!! we're really alike!!! i love knowing there's somebody i can relate to out there 🥺🥺

I'll start off by saying; yes, of course! The fruity four are strong personalities and people, they have a bond with you that couldn't be broken by something like that, because it's part of what makes you you–and that's exactly what they love! The very thought of giving up on their true love because of a label is just bonkers, it makes no sense and they would be echoing that to you whenever you feel insecure about it. Also, let it be known that I'm totally on the train of headcanoning both Eddie and Robin as being on the spectrum. I like to think Eddie's stronger on the autistic side, whereas Robin is more adhd with her social skills being more pronouncedly autistic. So with this in mind, I think they'd already be very sensitive to whatever your personal experiences are on either spectrum! And they can relate to you inherently a lot better than most people, including both Nancy and Steve.

Not to say that those two are oblivious or apathetic, however, because they certainly are not! They just don't have the same experiences to empathize with you, so they've gotta put a little more work in to help themselves understand how you operate. Your boundaries are a relatively easy thing to start off with; they're something they've probably already gone over, just not as in-depth as they're used to. You might sit there shy and a little teary-eyed even, worrying yourself to death that they're going to laugh at you or make fun of the things that you say you need or that bother you, but Nancy and Steve will be so patient in listening and Robin and Eddie will encourage you to say everything that comes to mind. Your shared space is always a safe space, there's no fear of abandonment or rejection that you need to worry about here, and they'll do as much reassuring as it takes until you really feel comfortable and secure in knowing that. No moment of irritation or frustration or any meltdown will scare them away, no matter how big it gets. And they'll never think of you as childish for anything that you do or anything you get upset about.

Nancy's probably one of the easiest people to confide in about being on the spectrum, as a person who isn't perceivably on it herself. Even though she doesn't experience life in the same way you do, she's a fantastic listener and she treats your explanations and understanding your neurodivergency almost like a hobby in itself. When you mention some term or new behavior that you can't put a name to, she's off to the library to research anything and everything that has to do with autism and adhd–and soon she's the one coming to you not just with questions, but new information she picked up and surveys she wants to do to compare your personal experience to the studies she reads, to see if what's been published is accurate to the real-life experience. And you can damn well bet she's committing a bit of library graffiti in her chosen books if she comes across insensitive articles or tampered studies, or really anything that suggests that autism is some kind of disease or that it's a walking death sentence to any poor parent that finds their child is diagnosed with. She'll scratch out those horrid comments and outright false statements and write the corrections in the margins so long as she has the evidence, to the point that she pouts when she gets banned from borrowing any books for a month when she gets caught. "It was worth it," she insists, more concerned with getting the truth out there than being lectured by the crotchety old librarian–and you can bet she'll stand by her opinions even in public, even with strangers and ill-mannered people, because knowing you feel safe and wanted matters more to her than smiling and nodding along.

The only one that might be put off is Steve, but not in a bad way, and only at first. He's not as used to the way you and Eddie socialize, primarily because he's grown up and has gotten adjusted to the ways that neurotypical kids interact with each other. The way he carries himself and how he speaks to people is what he thinks is normal, so while he sees bluntness or awkward wording or seemingly oblivious social cues as abnormal, he doesn't think it's a bad thing at all. Clearly by the way he and Eddie exchanged conversation when they first met, he's more endeared by it than anything else, even though it takes him more time to understand it. He's used to picking between the lines of conversation to pick up cues and body language of whatever the other person isn't saying out loud, but luckily he's quick to realize that you don't necessarily speak the same way, and he just has to listen to you to know what you're trying to say. And once he learns about masking and sees you slowly become more comfortable with not doing it around him, he gets soooooo excited because he really feels like you're bonding, then, and that you trust him enough to stim or chatter on around him!

And with Eddie and Robin? They're so tuned in it's honestly hilarious. Eddie's constantly on the hunt for things he knows are part of your special interests–he finds little pieces of merch from bands or shows or movies you like, or things that are your favourite colour that he thinks you'll like. And he knows what your favourite animals are and what fabrics and textures you like, and pretty much anything and everything that has to do with your interests is noted down so he can use the information to his advantage. Robin's the same way, although you and her can talk for hours about the things you're passionate about, to the point that you both might forget to eat or sleep until exhaustion finally takes over, and you pass out in her bed or on the couch together.

Also, stimming? It's a normal thing in the household, and they will absolutely make sure that you feel like it's normal. Eddie tugs on his hair and plays with his watch, flaps his hands, claps, cracks his knuckles–and Robin has a few vocal stims like humming or making other little sounds through her teeth, aside from spinning her rings around and sometimes pacing around in circles with music or a movie on in the background. If you're restless and you move around a lot while they're cuddling with you, they get used to it quickly, and if you have days where you just absolutely do not want to be touched, they know that it's not personal and don't get offended if that goes on for awhile. It's the nice thing about having multiple partners, none of you really need to worry about feeling lonely or not having someone to confide in when someone isn't able to.

It's just a good time all around, really. They love you, you make them happy, and there's too much bad in this world for them to toss aside someone that really cares for them. Besides, how different are you from them, really? Each of them have things to deal with that frustrate them sometimes, or make them feel like they're a burden themselves. It's just a matter of accepting it, coping with it, and moving along, and letting the cycle repeat as many times as it needs to to let you enjoy life with the people you love.

[thehumanversionofthishellsite]

may or may not have stayed up all night reading this book as soon as I could get my hands on it but anyway I have some thoughts and most of them are screaming.

I really loved the book. Did it have flaws? Yes. Do I care? No. I'm 22, the targeted age range is something like 10-16. When I first got into this series I was the same age as nico. It's been a long journey getting older and changing and healing. Seeing that for Nico was all I really wanted from this book.

Also, realistic relationship struggles and growth!! Loved that!! Having a chronic illness is hard, your partner watching you suffer with it is also hard for them!! Having conversations and misunderstandings and awkward moments is how it goes!! After being in a 3 year relationship with someone I love very much I'm like,,, yes!! Thank you!! I have lifelong chronic illness!! It's not going away I gotta learn to live with it it's a part of me!! My partner struggles with it but is trying so hard and I love them so much!!! But I'm so much more than a pile of suffering and that's the point!!! You choose to keep trying and that's the point the book makes!! there's a whole scene about it and it's so important!!! Will starts to be more accepting and understanding and we love to see it! Nico accepts he needs to let himself move on and that it's ok to do that and not be angry with your past self for trying to stay alive!!

I make no sense and I don't care. But also, they're cringey and memey and dumb. They're hysterical and going a little bit crazy and they love each other and like, I'm not ok. Neither are they. Its been an extremely stressful week for them.

And I don't think it's super out of character because we barely know these people!! Nico has been suffering and in survival mode almost the whole time we have known him!! Will has been a background character most of the time!! Nico was a bubbly 10 year old and Will was like 4 sentences. Nico has made occasional/awkward/dark jokes and Will was shown to be stubborn and concerned and caring because demigods are ridiculously hard to keep alive. Let them be weird and cringey they're literal teenagers. Have you been in a high school with people obnoxiously dating. They are. The worst.

Broke: camp is empty because people wanna see their families

Woke: camp is empty because will and nico are just that couple who are cringe 100% of the time and everyone just noped out

I know I keep getting sidetracked but. Point is. nico and will seem out of character because of circumstances and time skips probably. Nicos finally in a stable place and can actually process things, mans is curious about the world he's in no wonder he's a memelord the internet just does that to you. People change when they're not in survival mode, I definitely am not the same person I was when I was 16. Not even the same person I was when I was 18. Or 20. Like, mental health glow ups bring out some of the best parts of you.

AND THANK YOU PIPER I FEEL SO SEEN RN, don't know what label I fit under, I am confusion but it's ok!! I am a big ole ace spectrum mess and maybe tomorrow it'll be different! Either way the book had a lot of great moments and no it's not the same as old rr books but it was never gonna be, the nostalgia associated with the original pjo series means nothing will ever live up to those books and that's kind of just life for some of yall. fuck knows I crave the joy I felt playing crash bandicoot for the first time. I miss that time of my life and it's ok to miss that but it's also ok to move forward and find new things that bring life joy and meaning!!

anyway. I enjoyed the sun and the star and I will continue to enjoy it regardless of what other people think, I can like things just because I do, or just because they make me happy. And this book definitely made me happy. Also holy fuck I need some sleep. Sorry about all the exclamation points it's all that's keeping me awake!!