#i got work done but other than that nothing really
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waffle-runian · 2 days ago
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Not to diverge much, or to hijack the conversation, but I'm gonna write about "translating art" a bit. I hope that it makes sense.
So, this feels like when I first started reading fantasy. Writing is a form of art that I love very much, so I remember a lot about my first impressions and all. I specifically remember reading a book about magic, the first book I bought because I wanted to read and nothing else. It was in a world where magic would be a focal point, get described with care and detail. Then idk, a popular book series about a demigod teenager that could control water, and what do you know? The water was described in full, the friendship, different dialogues, puns, the color of the eyes.
Then I read another series, this one about a boy with a dream and with a reality that made it difficult for him to pursue it, of course, the description of his sadness was longer too, his physical attributes were important, and they got a lot of attention, but not all the time either, and not really that in depth. What got the most attention were the comparisons, where he came short, and where coming short of something was being ahead on other things.
I remember reading a book following the story of a bard. It was art about art itself, in my opinion. Everything was described vividly. Stunning visuals, I could almost hear a song that doesn't even have a melody, I could grasp the process of creation without creating. It was something I was very bad at, after all. The author could make anything look beautiful and magical, even when it was the most ordinary of things.
Then came the magic. Well, part of it. It was logic, almost physics-like, followed hard rules, and you guessed it, the process of creation through it was also interesting. But then came the magic. Again. The magic that was hinted at, the soft kind, the magical kind, the one you have been preparing for up until now. The one that would require you to appreciate the art in order to understand, to appreciate everything as an artist. To see beyond what it is, what it is made of, what it looks like. To see inside, to see what it can be, what it represents and what it wants. In a way, to see it for what it _is_ (a different "is").
From top to bottom
Mage - Raymond E. Feist.
Percy Jackson - Rick Riordan
Ranger's Apprentice - John Flanagan
The name of the Wind - Patrick Rothfuss.
Rothfuss' writing isn't for everyone in a different way than the others. I don't know if I could explain it if I tried, but honestly? I feel great that it's something fewer people appreciate. This is, obviously, my take on those books. The actual intent behind it may differ strongly, but I don't think it matters, since art is something normally made to provoke thought and feelings. We hope the audience can get close to what we meant to say, but when they don't, we are happy that they got to experience something positive from our words/drawings/songs, etc.
I see his as the most complex out of these, the one that resonated the most with me, I guess? Probably because of the main character being the most relatable. And if just the eyes that tell the story can change so much about it, shouldn't we put much more thought into what our art could look like for people that can't "see" it the same as us? Like I already said, most of the time, your meaning will be lost, so, if you're "translating" art, how can you get close to this new audience's heart?
I mean, translating is all about that too. You can't just use the best words you think of and be done. Brazilian dubbing is famous for making jokes almost never fall flat.
If you localize the joke, you get a better reaction than when you explain the joke that only works in the original language (even though I am the kind of person that learns a language to appreciate the original material instead, and that's the reason I speak english.)
Anyway, if I got something wrong, just correct me, and if I don't get it, I'll ask.
"In recent years, there has been a rush on the internet to supply image descriptions and to call out those who don’t. This may be an example of community accountability at work, but it’s striking to observe that those doing the most fierce calling out or correcting are sighted people. Such efforts are largely self-defeating. I cannot count the times I’ve stopped reading a video transcript because it started with a dense word picture. Even if a description is short and well done, I often wish there were no description at all. Get to the point, already! How ironic that striving after access can actually create a barrier. When I pointed this out during one of my seminars, a participant made us all laugh by doing a parody: “Mary is wearing a green, blue, and red striped shirt; every fourth stripe also has a purple dot the size of a pea in it, and there are forty-seven stripes—”
“You’re killing me,” I said. “I can’t take any more of that!”
Now serious, she said it was clear to her that none of that stuff about Mary’s clothes mattered, at least if her clothes weren’t the point. What mattered most about the image was that Mary was holding her diploma and smiling. “But,” she wondered, “do I say, Mary has a huge smile on her face as she shows her diploma or Mary has an exuberant smile or showing her teeth in a smile and her eyes are crinkled at the edges?”
It’s simple. Mary has a huge smile on her face is the best one. It’s the don’t-second-guess-yourself option."
--Against Access, by John Lee Clark, a DeafBlind educator
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lemoniiiiiii · 2 days ago
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not like the movies
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(virgin!luke cooper x fem!reader) in where your boyfriend invites you over to his house to watch a movie, but there seems to be a change of plans not long after you arrive content: pure smut (p in v), y/n is also an intern, fluff a bit? definitely not proofread a/n: kinda got obsessed with the way luke looks like he's never felt the touch of a woman (this is a very self serving write) THIS IS A WIP FROM A VERY LONG TIME AGO and i'm not good at smut sorry
--
in an act of courage, luke had invited you over to his place to watch a movie- which meant he hovered around your desk all day pestering you until you begrudgingly asked him what he wanted.
"come to my house" the words blurted out of his mouth, more blunt than he intended. "tonight, i mean- please"
your features softened as you listened to luke's proposal, finding it absolutely endearing how his nonchalant demeanor did an 180 when he was around you. his hands were stuffed in his pockets (probably to hide the fact they were shaking) and he was looking off into the distance as he spoke to avoid eye contact. he only periodically looked down to make sure you were still listening. which, of course you were.
that's what he loved about you.
you were the only person (other than his two friends) who could stand listening to his endless ramblings about whatever movie had his attention at the moment.
and that night was no different.
luke had picked inception (how he already had the DVD you had no clue, since the movie only came out 3 months prior) and was explaining in great detail how the effects for the café scene were done.
he sat crossed legged on the couch, dark eyes vibrant as he excitedly spoke.
"so basically they took like a shitton of plate shots of all these things just flying in the air-"
you had absolutely no idea what a plate shot was but that didn't matter. you were just happy to see him so passionate. it really surprised you how talkative he could get since he was always so quiet at work. and as he rambled on your eyes got lost in his features, the way his curls lay on his head, the softness of his cheeks and his smile...
"y/n?"
"sorry- what were you saying?"
luke grabs a bit of popcorn before continuing. "i said nolan is like a fucking genius when it comes to special effects. practical is ALWAYS better. none of that CGI crap. speaking of, I went to go see transformers and-"
you cut luke off with a kiss, the popcorn in his hand immediately falling out of his grasp and onto the couch. you tongued him deeply, hands lightly tugging his hair. luke responds with a moan, somehow finding the confidence to guide you into his lap to straddle him. he'd watched enough movies to know where this was going.
but once you had reached down to the bulging crotch of his sweats, his breath hitched, and he slightly pulled away.
"oh.. sorry-" you murmured.
"uh- no it's okay it's just-"
"we can take things slow-"
"no it's- i haven't done this... before..."
oh. oh.
well that made sense. it made perfect sense actually. between the both of you, you had always initiated anything intimate. luke always completely fell apart whenever things got a little pg-13. you thought he was just shy.
he must've noticed your surprised expression, because even in the dark of the living room you could tell he was blushing. you brought your head down to put your lips against his again, caressing his cheek.
"I don't mind" you whispered.
and that's how you both ended up on the couch, half naked. luke didn't have any condoms, but luckily you had a hunch this would go down when he invited you over, so you had some in your bag.
as you lowered yourself onto him, luke let out an embarrassingly loud mewl, your wet cunt cocooning his cock.
this was nothing like the movies.
absolutely nothing like them.
no matter how it was done, no close-up montage of half naked celebrities getting it on could ever compare to the euphoric feeling of you on top of him.
and you hadn't even started moving yet.
wait, you hadn't started moving yet?
luke eyes shot open, lifting his head off the back of the couch. you tilted your head, looking down at him with an intrigued smirk.
"you okay?"
his gaze flickered over your figure once before he gulped and slowly nodded, unable to open his mouth in fear of letting out another embarrassing sound.
despite luke's assurance, you seriously considered simply getting off him and just giving him a blowjob. i mean the poor boy looked delirious, body trembling and all.
but before you could act on your thought, a shock of pleasure coursed through you. luke had begun to roll his hips, his face still wearing a strained expression as he familiarized himself with the feeling of sliding in and out of you.
in response, you matched his slow rhythm then gradually picked up speed, coaxing him to follow. immediately, his jaw fell again, his eyes shut tight.
"ah.. fuck- fuck- shi- oh my god" he heaved and groaned, gripping your hips harder to guide your movements.
with how things were going, he was about to skip to the third act and didn't want to disappoint you by pushing things along too quickly. but god you were making it hard for him to hold back.
reaching a hand to his curly mess of hair, you combed it back and kissed his forehead. "look at me.." you whispered into his ear, the hot air sending a shiver down his spine.
luke opened his eyes and stared up at you riding him. only the flashing light of the tv behind you provided any illumination, the sounds of grunting from the fight scene playing mirroring both of your own moans. the way it brought out your silhouette was almost angelic to him, like a perfect movie still.
he wished he could capture it.
but a frame is short, just like how long he could hold out.
with a couple of deep moans followed by a high-pitched whine, you felt the warmth of luke's release through the condom. your body twitched from the sensation and as you continued to grind your hips to bring him down from his high, you reached yours, your moan a perfect soundbite into his ear. something that's definitely going to echo in his mind forever. you lazily draped your arms around his shoulders trying to catch your breath, when you felt luke shift underneath you.
"oh wait fuck-" luke tapped your shoulder and pointed to the tv, turning up the volume with the remote. "this part is so good- watch watch-"
--
tags (ask to be added or removed anytime!): @fear-is-truth @juliamaximoff @jazz-berry @violetsghosts @quickreider @tiffysdeath @honeymoon8 @wcnderlnds @lacucarachapisser @xrag-dollx @oceanblvd111 @andiloveher @vi0l3tgard3ns @acrosstheunivcrse
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osakhee · 2 days ago
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ceo!anton x assistant!reader
! exhibitionism
the noise of your footsteps echoes around the corridor. the papers in your arms feel heavy, you have been carrying them around the building, collecting more folders from the different working teams. it's a big publishing company that works internationally, sharing news and articles in many languages around the world.
and things are going really well for the company with such a young man at its head, his father methodically placing him at the top of the main building for him to arrange the teams and give long speeches. lee anton is good at what he does. his soft voice makes every room get quiet, his flat yet serious tone has every head bowing to him as answer. anton always gets what he wants, the company growing each time the young ceo play with the strings around his fingers with great care.
today is not different than any other days. you collect finished folders around the different teams and give them to anton, you classify his emails and organize his meetings. most of the time, you don't even see him. the only thing you see is his dark silhouette behind the blurry windows that surround his office. you throw a glance at the door when the team leaders get inside to share some informations with anton. sometimes, his eyes would meet yours, dark brown pupils hidden behind some strand of black hair.
you readjust the papers in your arms, some folders on the verge of falling on the side. the pile feel heavy, yet you know a lot of files are missing. the teams are working hard, but not hard enough for anton, he always asks for more. you peak your head inside of the empty room that's connected to anton's office, finding it comfortably empty. it's always more awkward when he's on meeting at the same time you drop the folders.
you knock softly on the tinted glass door of the office, looking up at the golden letters forming lee anton above your eyes. one... two... three... the clock ticks every second yet you hear nothing but silence on the other side of the door. you resist the urge to get inside but all the tasks on the back of your mind yell at you to do it. you have so much to do... he'll never know you got in... the doorknob clicks in a metallic sound.
"did i tell you to get inside?"
anton's voice is low when he speaks up. you stop in your track, the door barely opened, and you meet anton's eyes. the smell of hot coffee surrounds you, mixed with addictive scent of the ceo's probably expensive cologne. he walks up to you, each footstep having you growing more nervous, and cocks his head on the side, pointing inside the office.
"now that you're here, put the folders on my desk."
you look at your feet and hurriedly get inside the empty office, each sound echoing on the walls. you quickly reach the dark wooden desk and drop the files on it, checking one last time that you have everything before turning the other way around. yet you can't stop following anton's figure, watching him checks the papers himself, his eyebrows furrowed while he quickly goes over the crumpled words and numbers.
"is that all you have? this is half of what i asked."
"they were not done with them sir... i told them i would come get the folders later in the afternoon-"
"do you take decisions by yourself or am i the one deciding?"
the silence grows thicker until anton put down his mug on the desk. you feel like your feet are glued on the floor where you're standing. anton walks up to you and stands in front of you, you want to avoid his eyes but you're met with the unbuttoned top of his black shirt, and you have no other choice than to look up and meet his gaze. it's impossible to read anton's expression.
"are you not going to answer me?"
"... you decide."
"much better. out now."
you almost run outside, the door closing behind you. you go down the long corridor in silence and reach your own small office, dropping yourself on your chair to let out a long sigh. one day the ceo will make your heart burst in front of him. each time you would see him, he'll act the same way. like you're his little doll, a puppet he controls the way he wants.
you turn on your computer and starts working, but you can't concentrate on the meaningless tasks of organizing the emails in front of you. it's almost as if you could feel the presence of anton behind you, looking over your shoulder, his intoxicating scent making your head spin and your heart race-
the phone on your desk rings loudly. oh. it can only be him. you don't have the time to answer before the noise stops and you quickly get up, walking towards anton's office. you knock on the door once again, and gets inside after hearing anton's voice call for you on the other side.
"did you call me? is there something you need?"
"do i have meetings on the afternoon?"
"you have one at 2:30pm. it's for the international news, two journalists called last week and-"
"okay. cancel it."
"but sir... it's an important meeting, the teams have been all looking forward-"
"did you not hear what i said?"
you awkwardly shift from a foot to another, watching anton sigh loudly and spin around on his black leather chair.
"i'm tired and i really need to get my head out of work. to relax. can't you help me just this time?"
just this time. just this time. what about all the other times you canceled meetings so anton could have his way. but he always does, right? he is the one deciding, the one in charge, right?
you make slowly your way to the desk, and anton spins his chair to face you. he extends one of his hand, the other one patting his thigh like a quiet call. you get easily on his lap, his legs parted just the right way for you to sit as if he waited for you this whole time. anton drags his fingers through your hair until he reaches the back of your neck, and draws you closer until he can comfortably meet your lips.
the kiss is gentle and slow but anton wastes no time deepening it, holding you in place with a strong hand behind your head. he grips your thigh and pull your body closer, the feeling of his palm squeezing the fabric of your pants making you whine softly in his mouth.
anton devours your lips, ragged breaths between hot kisses ringing into your ears. he leaves your mouth to drag his lips down your jaw and your neck, his fingers messily opening the buttons of your white shirt to have access to your chest. his hands find their way on your sides while he bites at the skin of your chest, painting red marks on your body only him can see.
everything you have in mind disappear the second you get to taste anton, his lips on yours better than any kind of medicine, than any type of rest. he helps erase all the worries of the long working days. anton pushes your shirt down and holds your bare shoulders, eagerly sucking on every little part of your chest. he feels your hands tug on his hair and bringing him closer to your burning skin, a smile creeping on his lips as he leaves a soft kiss on the middle of your chest.
anton lets his hand rest on your back, your bare chest press against the fabric of his black shirt. the opened buttons let you see the golden chain dangling around his neck and the smooth skin of his chest. anton taps your thigh with his fingers, drawing slow circles on your pants.
"get rid of that for me baby."
your legs feel numb but you stand up and replace your opened shirt on your shoulders before working your hands on the buttons of your pants. you can see anton palming himself in the corner of your eyes with half opened eyes, his hand lazily stroking the bulge between his legs. you pull down your pants and underwear in one go, tossing it to the side, and turn back to anton, now half naked in front of his foggy eyes.
you're beautiful. you're breathtaking. the words spin in anton's mind, mindlessly opening his belt to free his hardening dick from its confines. he strokes himself when you get rid of your clothes. he loves it when you're like that, eager to please him. all of that for him.
you sit back comfortably on anton's thighs, pressing your heat against his cock, rubbing yourself on him. you watch anton rests his head on the top of his leather chair, his lips parted, his eyes heavy and menacing to close from the pleasure coursing through his veins. he grabs your thighs and help you sink down on his cock, eliciting a moan from you a and deep sigh from him. anton lays back on the chair and hold your waist, his voice lower than usual.
"missed this feeling so much... you're gonna make me feel good baby? wanna help me?"
you slowly roll your hips against his, his cock deep inside you rubbing your walls deliciously. you feel the grip on your waist tighten, anton's other hand holding your thigh to help you rock faster on his lap. he loves watching you break apart on his dick, low moans growing inside his throat as you grind against him faster. biting your lip is not enough to stop the cries coming out of your mouth, anton's name rolling on your tongue along with his preferred nickname, sir.
anton can't last long when you feel so good around him, your insides clenching with every move, his tip hitting perfectly the spot that makes your back arch. the knot in his stomach grows at each second. anton drags his hand into his hair, pushing away the messy black strands that could hide his eyes from seeing the delicious sight in front of him.
his hands grabs the skin of your ass, and anton lifts his hips to meet yours in a precise thrust that has you cry his name. you hold his shoulders as he buries himself deeper with each move of his hips, curses falling from his lips. the warmth burns his skin with one last thrust, holding you down on his lap, his cock twitching inside of you as he empties himself.
you rock your hips, making sure to get every drop of the thick fluid he has to offer. anton's chest rises heavily, his hand resting on your cheek before he presses a gentle kiss on your forehead.
"always there to make me feel better baby..."
no matter how frustrated you feel, you always care about anton first. he helps you stand up and you look around the office for your pants while anton tucks himself back into his pants. you bend down to get your clothes from the floor but large hands straddle your waist, and anton sits you back down on his lap, your back comfortably resting against his chest.
"it would be mean of me to let you go like that..."
anton sits straighter on his chair and roll it closer to the desk, the wooden table hiding the lower part of your bodies. you feel his nails graze the skin of your stomach, his fingers impatiently pushing into your folds with a wet noise. you hold the desk, your other hand covering your mouth to stop your whines when you feel anton's breath against your ear.
"you should button that up pretty... keep quiet for me."
there's a knock on the glass door. you messily button up your shirt and try to arrange your hair, biting the inside of your cheek when anton plunges his fingers in and out of you at a steady pace. "come in." anton's words ring in your ears, and you take a deep breath as the door opens.
two journalists get inside the office, closing the door behind them. their footsteps, the shuffle of their clothes and the folders opening are enough to hide the obscene noises coming from you, your thighs wet from anton's fingers deep inside of you.
you heavily swallow when anton starts speaking with his ceo voice, his fingers stilling when he talks. the two guys in front of him give each other a suspicious look, but they don't say a thing. when they start explaining their project for the company to anton, he sets a fast pace with his hand, you almost fall back onto his chest, your legs shaking at the strong pleasure.
the journalists clearly don't want to take much longer with anton. he looks at the projects, makes useless comments, concentrated on the way his finger hit those spots inside you, pushing all your buttons. the two journalists bow lowly to him after anton gave them his review, and they both walk out.
the second the door closes, anton grips your thigh to part your legs wider, looking down at the way his fingers disappear easily inside your core. he presses hot kisses on your neck, his hand reaching deep until your arch back. your head rest on his shoulder as he helps you ride your orgasm, pleasure exploding from between your legs and coursing through your body, making your mind foggy.
you take deep breaths, holding yourself on anton's forearm when he takes his soaked fingers out with a low chuckle. he kisses the top of your head, his arm going around your waist to bring you closer.
"i love it when you help me relax... but you really should cancel the meetings when i ask though, don't you think so?"
okay i kinda lost my mind at anton's mirror pics from earlier.......... im a little insane sorry hope you enjoyed that 🚀
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l-artemisia-del-secolo · 13 hours ago
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A couple of requests
"And this is our red witch?"
You were yanked out of your ordinary environment. You were yanked out of your house. And where were you teleported exactly?
Crawling out of fire was never a pleasant experience.
"Agatha!…" Fuck, you were getting angry. "Agatha!…" You could feel fireball forming in your palm.
"Hey! Is Harkness the only one who deserves your attention?"
You turned around as quickly as you could. That voice was familiar. That tone was close.
"You have got to be kidding me."
Out of the trees silhouette emerged. not even a second, a fleeting instant - you recognized her immediately.
"You've got something on your shoulder." Shoulder, really Rio? You shrugged, too close to your neck.
"Don't."
Oh, you didn't sound confident, Rio noticed. Rio smirked. Of course she did. Centuries you were apart and she still could read you like an open book.
____
"Did you miss me?"
You almost jumped. You forgot whether it was voice of your nightmares or dreams.
Well, the voice sure was as sultry as you remembered it to be. Not only that. You remembered all too well her obsession with a very specific silhouette, with open skin, with accent on her arms.
Rio knew you were looking at her. You were thinking about her.
You tried to keep your eyes focused on her. But it didn't work. Suddenly you stopped.
"Why are you here?"
You didn't allow Rio to get closer. Golden was your protective halo.
"Because of you." Rio was always straightforward. Even after all these years. "Not that easy to track you down. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the affort with the cover and protective spells. Clearly you were thinking about me, baby. Just not in a way I want it."
___
"I'm fine."
Of course, you were not. Your clothes was wet with your own blood. Shard of glass was bigger than you thought. And sharper, clearly sharper.
"I could…"
"Jen, I'm fine."
You let others move faster, you let them out of your sight. Potions were not good enough in this situation. You couldn't heal yourself, the only other option was… no, it wasn't an option.
You couldn't focus on the road. Pain was too much, tension was too much, moving was too much. Your own body wasfinally betraying you. You groaned.
"I definitely like this sound. But not in this circumstances."
Rio appeared just in time to help you keep the balance.
"I'm fine."
You were not strong enough to fight her hands on you.
"Yeah, I already heard that."
You leaned against Rio's shoulder. You didn't want to owe her anything. You were close, dangerously close.
Not now, not after everything. You were losing yourself on the road. You almost closed your eyes.
It was enough for her to barely wave a hand. Wound disappeared in an instant. You inhaled sharply and immediately pushed Rio away.
"You shouldn't have done that." Your whisper hit her harder than any trial. "It doesn't change anything."
"I know."
___
This coven was the worst thing you could imagine. Lunatics, has beens, humans, teens. But the worst thing - your ex-lover. You forgot at what point fucking death was a good idea.
Of course you were flooded with memories, with emotions, with tingling in your body. Fuck. You hated it here. Road was never even supposed to exist. You were not sure what spell chose you, but sure as hell Rio influenced it.
"We need to move quicker. Do you understand the meaning of this word." Agatha's voice was annoying as ever. You praised gods for living without her disturbance for so many years. Nothing was fine, while Harkness was around.
"Thief." You muttered. "What did you say, dear?" Lilia was close. Semblance of a companion at least. You bond appeared such a long time ago. "Nothing". You caught Rio's glance. Thief would be a too generous word for Death.
___
All the walking, all the fighting, all the arguing. Those witches were everything but the coven. Still rest andfire were universally accepted. Stories of the old glory were never part of your routine. You needed a practice of protections spells, you needed to think.
The last thing you wanted was to be a part of the old memory between women who hated each other. You tried to change path, but everything was too loud, as if the road itself amplified the voices.
"You took him!"
You've never heard Agatha like this. You yourself caused many cries of agony, but this one was different.
"He was never even yours." how did Rio manage to stay calm and distant?
"He was always mine, I created him."
"You cheated. And you know you cannot cheat me."
That was true. You were cursed while trying to do exactly that, while trying to live a life of pretended normalcy.
___
Of course you knew about history between Agatha and Rio. You were jealous at first. Even of the memory of them together.
But Rio managed to calm you down. You met ages after that affair. There was no reason for you not to believe she was yours. After the fight with Agatha something changed. Rio wasn't with you anymore. On her own she was wondering the woods,for brief moments appearing during vital moments.
You knew this Rio once, not for long.
"You're letting Agatha have all the fun." You didn't have to cheer her up. But… you cared. And it was betternot to upset death itself.
"More fun for her, more bodies for me. It always worked that way."
"Even with Nicholas."
Silence was awkward and not welcomed. You sat near her.
"You were the only one who refused this deal."
"And still you stayed."
Painfully soft. Painfully obvious. Painfully full of affection.
"It wasn't enough, was it?"
"It was always too much."
Of course, it was. It was Rio, all about Rio. Even now she wanted to grab you, to possess, to devour. You could practically feel the struggle in her mind. But she chose to be tender.
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uninformedartist · 2 days ago
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What was the point expecting anything other than dry bones for Millie, Loona even. Vivienne going as far making this bloody long thread (post at the end) hyping people up what she's got in store for Millie when we all know how she writes. Anything written for Millie or Loona or whatever female character is not really for them. Everything written for them has to 1 tie somehow in to a male character & 2 whats written for them ultimately developes a male character more.
Two instances in the latest episode. First instance:
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Loona and Millie finally interacting that doesn't have to do with work or saving the other 2 (dorks episode). And what was their conversation about...Moxxie. Millie asking her to look after him. Which understandable Millie feels she has a lot on her plate having to deal with both of them at the same time but it comes back to their "development" comes centered around a man & furthering their character.
Side tangent on how their "development" developing male character more:
From this whole thing of Millie taking a client job what I learned about Moxxie is that he does the businesses finances, he overworks himself so much he 'shuts down' in highly stressful situations especially when its beyond his control or limits, he regrets he didn't become a theatre critic.
What I learnt about Millie, she cares for Blitz & Moxxie (know this), she actually has some sort of relationship with Loona (kind of this but its logical she would have). What I learnt on Loona, she's caring dispite her tough put on persona (definitively know this), she's smart as she picked up Moxxie didn't calculate properly (didn't know this but never doubted her intelligence really).
I learnt 3 new things about Moxxie and Millie & Loona just more examples of things I already know about them because it was said about them or things I never doubted they had already naturally.
Second instance:
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Millie's backstory. Her whole backstory only came about because of Blitz, because of his hallucinations she brought up her backstory as a means of comfort to HIM.
Breaking apart her backstory, yeah she doesn't owe Blitz shit nor should apologise for this:
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Blitz who we seen throughout the series has done a lot of respecting towards her and her husband.
Listing the "respecting" and not a full list only what I remember
*Episode 1 constantly mistreating and physically hurting her husband, end of the episode going as far making a rape threat towards both of them.
*Episode 2 having explicit sexual fantasies about the two of them at work knowing they've in a monogamous relationship & they established that firmly.
*Episode 5 constantly invalidates her husband in front of her & her family, doesn't show him an ounce of respect ever here.
*Episode 7 stalks them on a date the two of them planned, even after Moxxie verbally told him not to, he disregarded their boundaries in all regards
And so on and so forth so this line girl no.
You cannot establish multiple times Blitz was nothing but a piece of shit towards them then all of a sudden flip it that he actually saved her, gave her a good life ect and then have her say sorry dispite all previously established in show.
Aside, also good luck to her on career, a future in the long run. Millie your pension benefit is gone
💀✋
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I know this show runs on having you "forget" what was previously established because its written like a bad fanfic but come on now its getting really ridiculous.
Vivienne YOU don't understand Millie or rather want to understand her more, only when you do is to when it comes to building your male characters more and just like the previous episodes, she fit the bill nicely developing Moxxie and Blitz further, Blitz more so. No amount of solid writing in this episode from Brandon and Waters can save the mess that is before this episode.
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So this whole hype thread of hers was absolute nonsense, Millie sigh may you shine bright in the actual fanfics.
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sordidmusings · 10 hours ago
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WIP TUESDAY - Sugar Daddy Headcanons with Shanks and Garp
Saw Schoute's wonderful art WIP and writing and wanted to join the fun! Have some ridiculous Blorbos as Sugar Daddies headcanons that have been on my backburner LOL I've got Shanks and Garp ready for y'all 🫡 They're pretty much done, I moreso have to fill out everyone else on the list 🤡 No warnings really! Just some allusions to spice but nothing explicit. Lots of silliness. I believe they're gender neutral but I'm going to tag as afab just in case because I fear it may be in the subtext since that's the perspective I wrote it from and the one people generally expect for sugar babies. Might be fun to subvert sometime by writing them with explicitly amab sugar babies. I will Ponder lol I'd also love to see what everyone is working on so please take this as a sign to post something of your own!!
The song I blame for everything (I love u Thot Squad):
“This fine old man, he played three
He can knickknack this coochie
With an Amex black card, get a girl a Benz
Reset and do it again”
Word Count: Shanks ~750, Garp ~400 (sorry about the favoritism Vice Admiral 😬)
Shanks
shanks absolutely pursued this type of relationship with you
Your pretty face and open smile snagged his attention but the way you easily met and fed his energy had him at you like a dog with a bone
He’s no stranger to helping people laugh their way into his bed, but the journey with you felt different. He took extra time simply because each moment with you was too good to keep from savoring
You didn’t hide your attraction at any point but he did appreciate that you would try and prod back at him in good humor to test his will and want
You found he had both in excessive abundance
It felt nice to have someone so attractive, established, feared, and adored seek your company and watch him become more interested with each minute he got of you. It also felt nice to see that while he certainly had an abundance of confidence he held no arrogance with you - he played no games in making you question his interest or assert his importance to you. He treated you as a person (one he mainly wanted to turn to his bedroom tenant but still-) and it made him feel more like a man than a myth for you both too
And holy hell did you like that man - he made you laugh even if at his own expense, he impressed you when he’d let some of his cunning slip through the jovial pirate shtick, he kept your interest with how he could entertain any topic you brought forward, he made you feel beautiful with the way his eyes and hands soaked you in, and he made you feel wanted with the way he treated everything about you with genuine interest. 
The only thing that made it better is how he made sure you wanted for nothing. The first night it was making sure you didn’t pay a cent for anything, you always had food and drink right before you realized you wanted it, his coat found your shoulders the moment you felt a chill, you found yourself in fresh air right when the heat and the noise of the bar became too much. 
After that it was an endless stream of trinkets, from priceless to silly but sentimental, all coming with letters that had you laughing, blushing, and swooning.
Every time he’d visit you (and it was at first as often as he thought he could manage but that managed to get even sooner and sooner because of his need for you) you’d indulge in each other like it was the first and last time
He stopped wanting anyone else - there were enough people across the seas he had to apologize to after explaining why he’d gasped the wrong name and they were never right to scratch the new insatiable itch he had anyway
When it dawned on him how much you had him wrapped around your finger, not just physically and financially but also mentally, emotionally, and he’s pretty sure even spiritually, he may have had a crisis (the crew was very torn between amusement and true wory watching it unfold, especially when the usual rum and patented Beckman Shoulder Pat with Nod didn't ease his turmoil)
It wasn't because he didn’t want to love you, but he truly never thought he’d ever find someone he wanted and needed the way he does you. It was such a foreign concept to him that he felt like the world had tilted and left everything slightly unfamiliar. Especially coming from a relationship he stapled together with riches. Sure, there was also joy, camaraderie, and intimacy holding it together, but he trusted less that someone such as you wouldn't find someone younger and more present to belong to.
If he couldn't be sure you'd want him, he'd try and find solace in you needing him, even if it was only for what he could afford you
When he finally told Beckman of his plight, he was slightly offended by the “it took you this long to figure it out?”
He’s currently trying to figure out how to convince you to live on his ship with him. He needed to let you know you’d be safe regardless of your experience level with the seas or battle. 
He’d bring the world to its knees if anything touched a hair on your head
Luckily for him, you knew. Anyone with eyes would from the way he smiles at you.
Garp
Garp was decidedly not in your plans. Yes, you wanted someone older, someone with wealth, someone with influence, someone who would take care of you, but you thought Gilfs were an urban legend told to see what face it would get out of freshies
You’re not complaining tho
He has certainly convinced you that the rarity of his kind just pointed to what a prized role it was to shack up with one
He was rough around the edges to be sure - brash and loud and stubborn - but he used all those traits to get you both exactly what you wanted
All your needs were met without you having to even think of them anymore (you were surprised that needs in the bedroom were included in that, but you supposed you shouldn’t have underestimated a man who could still punch apart battle ships, nor one with such a lust for eating)
Neither of you had any illusions of sweeping romance
You were more than happy with the care and respect that built between the two of you in your roles, growing with each act of service to each other, each piece of comfort, each unintended moment of vulnerability
Don’t get me wrong, the vulnerability ain’t common; most of your time is this man having fun watching you light up when he took you out and tossed his money around for you before taking you home to have multiple courses of dessert
You’ll never get over his gruff voice and curling accent - they helped your brain turn to mush while he coaxed and praised you through happily giving him everything he wants as a thank you for all his care
That voice along with all that burliness and age, which you thought would’ve been a turn off not on, ended up making you feel small yet so protected
Garp didn’t think he’d enter a relationship like this that went on so long and so easily but any reservation or second guessing was lost the moment he saw you and everything just felt natural
Tho he’d still make jokes that always make you groan about how you keep him young better than his troublesome recruits (that he is stuck between wanting to parade you around to see their jaws drop and wanting to keep you hidden away from any young bucks who may try to get your attention before he’s ready to let you go)
Thank you for reading 😘🤍🤍
Masterlist
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rachelamberish · 7 hours ago
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Comprehensive Veilguard Review (FULL SPOILERS)
What They Got Right:
-The environments. My God, seeing some of these locations that we’ve only read about for a decade had me getting legitimately choked up just looking at them. I cried entering the Grand Necropolis. I cried at Weisshaupt. I cried at Kal Sharok. The Ossuary. The Crossroads 2 Electric Boogaloo. Just all absolutely stunning, and so lovingly crafted.
-The art direction, on top of that. They kind of go hand in hand, but genuinely, it’s great. I think the art director deserves a raise for the candlehops alone.
-The music. I love it. I know it’s not what it has been, but I think it’s fucking great. The Blight theme is far and away the best, but so many of the other tracks really fully commit to the fantasy-futurism aesthetic that has been crafted by the art direction and I think it’s so fucking cool that the music has evolved as we travel to new locations and the world of Thedas really opens up.
-Companions. I’ve spoken a little about this already. But yes, the companions are incredible. The pacing of getting to know each of them is so well executed. (It feels unfortunate that the same cannot be said about the story as a whole, really). They are each truly so memorable and I think BioWare knocking it out of the park with its companions is nothing new.
-Vocal Performances. Gareth David Lloyd should be lauded for his work as Solas. You can hear how that performance has evolved and matured over the years like a fine wine. His vicelike grasp on the nuance of that character transcends even the game’s often questionable writing. Truly incredible stuff. I also have to mention Jee Young Han for Bellara, and Bryony Corrigan and Alex Jordan for two versions of Rook. The rest of the cast is fantastic as well, those four are just so incredibly standout to me.
-This feels very specific but The Siege of Weisshaupt. That quest. Is. *chefs kiss emoji*. It’s giving game of thrones season 8 episode 4 the long night where i cant see anything but also i have existential dread!!!! Love that
-Codex entries are as well written as they ever have been, so no dip in quality of the writing there. Particularly a huge fan of the passive aggressive emails sent between Solas and the Evanuris like they were all shitty coworkers. Elgar’nan screaming “i’m the ELDEST BOY!!!” at the top of his lungs à la Kendall Roy while he and solas bicker about who was conceived of by the Fade first. Very good stuff
-Ghilan’nain is an eldritch horror lesbian witch and that is so so cool. Thank you bioware
-Maevaris Tilani
-Combat and performance. Because neither of these are story stuff, I’ll throw these together. The game performs like a fucking dream and is incredibly optimized. The combat feels amazing and I genuinely look forward to combat encounters rather than dreading them. No notes.
….The Rest, in No Particular Order:
- Morrigan forgiving her mother and the game erasing Flemeth’s nastiness was truly vomit-inducing so thanks for that one bioware
- Is Mythal good or bad bioware please answer the question and you CAN’T look at your notes
- They do get Solas mostly spot-on but Mythal is so inconceivably bad and it’s hard to divorce the two. Ironic, considering that they should be the most divorced couple that ever lived
-"Flemeth's piece of Mythal was the good version actually and was completely uncorrupted" bitch HOW?!!??!??!!?! FUCKING HOW?!?!? Literally A GAME AGO she screams at Morrigan and Lavellan about "a reckoning that will shake the heavens" promising vengeance for her betrayal because she's done nothing but stew ALONE in her anger for 2,000 years, ALSO piling on the rage and betrayals of Flemeth and (I think it's safe to presume at this point) Andraste and EVERY OTHER host she's had. If we have learned ANYTHING about spirits and "abominations" through four games it is that the spirit becomes corrupted "against its original purpose" when fused with the negative emotions of its host. What was the point of Anders, if not to foreshadow what Flemeth truly was? A spirit of justice corrupted against her purpose by living inside righteously angry women for millennia? If anything the Dagger-version of Mythal would be the uncorrupted one. Sure, she'd be lonely and pissed too but that would be the truest version to who Mythal ACTUALLY was from before. A mixed bag of grief and anger and hurt and pride. But the rage inside Flemeth's Mythal would be wild and unfettered. She would be almost unrecognizable.
-I'm moving on from Mythal now because ranting any more about her in this game is actually going to give me an aneurysm.
- Yeah this game suffers from lack of roleplay and choice carryover. It’s impossible to avoid. It was okay to suspend roleplay in a game like, say, Dragon Age 2, because Hawke as the game wrote her was such a strong personality and memorable protagonist. Rook is…. not that. Which is okay for a blank slate protagonist, but they’re also not that either. And i think they didnt commit, fully, to the idea of less roleplay. Because they *tried* to give you origin stories, but they don’t end up feeling like they truly inform the character in the way that they do in Origins, or even in Inquisition. Say what you will about Inquisition’s roleplay options, but Lavellan being Dalish DEFINES her character.
- And what do you know. Yeah. It was bad that they only let us carry over three choices. Who could have seen that one coming. It’s almost like everyone ever was like “wow. That sucks. Please reconsider.” And then they didn’t.
- And it also gets extra confusing when you realize that the three choices they said were going to matter a LOT literally don’t. At all. So that was a lie. I guess. Even Solas romancers who were being PANDERED to apparently get…like two mentions of something that feels like it should be so pervasive throughout the whole story. And one ending.
- Solavellan writing failure gets its own bullet point actually. There was so much ample opportunity for Lavellan’s presence in this story to be amplified. For the Lighthouse to contain more traces of her. In codex entries, in murals. I get that Solas probably wouldn’t talk about her to Rook much. But the fact of his yearning is downplayed when it should be overplayed. He yearns for this woman who made him think he was worth something for the first time since he took a physical body, while clouded by regret for his feelings for a long-dead woman who made him hate himself. That’s the saddest fucking story ever. Why does this game not lean into it more? I don’t know. You don’t know. None of us know.
- BioWare kind of forgot that fifty percent of the Tevinter population is slaves. What do the shadow dragons even do? There are apparently no slaves left to free!!
- BioWare kind of forgot that the Crows are very cool and yes very Italian!! 🤌🤌🤌 but also buy child slaves and turn them into soldiers by systematically weeding empathy out of them. So where was any of that.(*where is Zevran or someone who fills the role of that character. He is so desperately needed to portray the Crows with any nuance.*)
- The depiction of the Qunari/kossith, outside of Taash’s storyline (which I actually think was a very thoughtful examination of the intersection of gender and Qunari ideology), is actually the craziest most stereotypical one-note racist bullshit i’ve ever seen and i am shocked any writer allowed that to be the final product.
- You know what yes i also noticed that you couldn’t ever be mean in this game and also Rook smiles so much. She smiles when saying things she should not smile about. Idk why but that bothers me. And why are her hands always on her hips? What is she hiding
- The exposition-heavy dialogue is terrible at the start, gets way better around the first act break, then turns dangerously close back around to Avengers-style “Well, that just happened!” and it’s a mixed bag that I don’t know what to do with. I can’t blame bioware for the exposition, I’m sure that’s an EA directive of “pander to the people that want to come into the fourth installment of a series knowing nothing and not be completely lost”. But the rest…..let’s just say I can feel how many people had their hands in writing this. And I can feel it because the quality swings back and forth so wildly it gives me whiplash.
- Because of no choice carryover cameos feel like cardboard cutouts of characters. Dorian worked for me because he was doing things he would be doing anyway and it is passively mentioned that he and the Inquisitor are in close contact. Isabela is skinny like a twig now i guess (??? Hate that) and i’m happy for her whole lords of fortune thing but she is made lesser by being completely divorced from Hawke. Same for Varric, although at least he has more to do. Morrigan…………………………………………………………………anyway moving on.
- The Dalish.
- BioWare kind of forgot that Solas doesn’t hate blood magic. Doesn’t use it personally. But doesn’t hate it. Also what he does to gain a connection to Rook is LITERALLY blood magic. I don’t fucking know WHY he/the game insists that it’s not. I’m beside myself with that one.
- BioWare kind of forgot about the brewing elven uprising led by Solas that they set up at the end of Trespasser and instead now he’s a lone actor and everyone hates him. Like no. No actually some elves would have found what he was doing very cool and a great alternative to the terrible hand the world has dealt them. Perhaps all those elven Tevinter slaves you forgot to put in the game.
- BioWare kind of forgot about Briala in their rush to say “but nothing in southern thedas matters!!!”
- Cole should be in this game and the fact that he is not is actually fucking baffling.
- VERY BIG SPOILER Varric dying is fine actually and the one thing i’m literally perfectly okay with so idk why i put it down here other than it feels wrong putting this spoiler at the top lmao. But yeah that’s fine. We knew it was coming and Peepaw needed rest anyway. Good reveal, no issue there.
- Lucanis’ bugged romance ruined my life
- I made a separate post about this but Veilguard has single handedly eradicated mystery in the Dragon Age series without creating any new mystery and it’s what I’m legitimately the most sad about.
All in all, a mixed bag. I enjoyed my time with it, but it left me sad at times and not in the good way. The idea I have of Dragon Age in my head will always be more true to Dragon Age to me than this was, and I can live with that, I was just hoping for better on a lot of writing fronts.
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Does anyone know those days when you just can't get anything done and feel like you're wasting precious time by doing nothing at all? But you don't really start doing anything either because you lack motivation, even if it's something you actually enjoy and that doesn't take a lot of effort.
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dykedvonte · 13 days ago
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I think it’s so ironic that the Pony Express escapes a lot if not all blame in discussion. I can’t even say I am excused from it but it’s just how hard people circle back to the characters alone without considering the environment they were made to be in.
Why would they design a ship where only two of the rooms lock? Not the bathroom? Not the sleeping quarters? We assume that all the companies in the universe are this shallow and careless to their workers but we explicitly know the Pony Express in extra vile. They are fed processed slop pack they can’t even really cook and the ration of those pack is meager at best. They hired and made people with a plethora of conflicting demeanors and beliefs work together on a mission where cohesion is important if not an outright necessity and punish them for not being happy about it. There’s no social protocols, not chain of command other than Captain’s word/choice and the only way to enforce that is with a literal firearm. They don’t allow them to celebrate freely and even took away leisure activities that would make them less stir crazy. They are only allowed a few hours of sleep despite their being no other real responsibilities or work on the ship, no matter the position or its importance. With any crew, with any level of synergy, this was a powder keg waiting for a spark.
I’m not saying characters that made mistakes didn’t make huge ones, but I think part of the horror is that at least for some (this is targeting Jimathan) those mistakes are partly made by a force of the hand. There’s a running theme of lack of choice and being forced into something and the very nature of how The Pony Express expected them to function plays a big part.
#like even I forget that all actions taken in the game were people trying to remain in protocol outside of Jimmy#Anya couldn’t have jus stolen the scanner and got the gun cause she’s a sensible person and knows she’d be in legal trouble#or get everyone’s credits docked or just hoping that there’s some chain of command for this sort of thing#Daisuke only really acted in accordance to his direct superiors because he’s an intern he wouldn’t know the first thing about protocol or#what to do in any situation. like this is essentially implied to be his first real job#Curly may be the captain but he still has to follow rules and procedures and we see with the letter the Pony Express likely has very shady#and shitty ones. he gives the best not depressing or totalitarian options he can otherwise everything is just his word which aren’t even his#or like him just asserting his position with the gun which he wouldn’t do#Swansea follows the book begrudgingly because he’s trying to stay right and not fall back into who he once was#I feel like it’s not incorporated nearly enough that the environment they were dropped into heavily affected their actions#say there was a single person higher than Curly or a plan of action when a crew member is considered a danger to himself or others#I think it’s fascinating how people will stick to protocol and break when they get scared or to their limit#cause the game shows how normalcy deteriorates and I think discounting what the characters where put through by the company takes a way a#real and scary aspect of what happened to Anya because as a friend Curly didn’t do enough for her at all his comfort was there and he#appreciated but it was a distracted sort of care but as a Captain he didn’t protect her but he’s was a Captain of the Pony Express like what#if they told him to wait to? he still should’ve done something because Anya was actively suffering and Jimmy should’ve been reprimanded but#he’s a captain with orders like the Tulpar isn’t his ship in the same way like#god I wanna explain this in a way that makes sense but the Tulpar is like designed to breed animosity and work on the bare requirements one#needs to get things done that’s not how people work and if anyone deviates or interrupts that it literally has nothing to handle it#it becomes clear that if any social unrest happens why they just say fuck it and give the Captain the gun because if something happens the#blame can easily be placed on the person they put in charge despite what they put them#in charge of like this is just like work place harassment irl because often the perpetrators are not punished but the supervisors for not#stopping them with meetings or cuts or whatever but the environment the company fostered is rarely fixed or blamed#like why was this allowed to occur? and honestly that is because Jimmy did what he did#ask me about this if this is confusing cause I worded it crazy#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#the pony express
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waywardsalt · 4 months ago
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with my phantom hourglass replay, there are two things i noticed;
a possible theme you could glean from the game is action vs inaction, and i think it's especially prevalent before you even leave mercay the first time, with oshus frequently urging link to not go after the ghost ship, then to just wait until the broken bridge is fixed, and seems reluctant at every turn while link and ciela are more than eager to go and do something about this problem, and the people of mercay in general talking about things and their problems but never seeming to act on their fears or desires, as well as the mention that due to the ghost ship, very very few people are still sailing around, while linebeck is one of the only people we see in the game actively going after the ghost ship and still sailing around. i might make a longer post just talking more about the action vs inaction in phantom hourglass but i just noticed it a bit and thought it was a bit of an interesting sort of theme you could find in the game.
linebeck moves so fucking much. i think he moves more than any npc in the rest of the game. not just in his intro cutscene where he is very animated, just in how much he moves when just standing in his little idle post, it's damn near distracting when the camera is focused on him, he moves a lot. i don't think i've really acknowledged how much he moves, and it really gives the impression that he's antsy or eager to get going, both of which fit him pretty well with how he acts.
#phantom hourglass#linebeck#loz#legend of zelda#salty talks#imo the action vs inaction thing feels esp interesting to me when looking at oshus specifically. he and his world are in grave danger#and he knows it and he actively does nothing and even seems reluctant to let ciela and link go ahead and do something.#of course he comes around on it but it's very interesting. has he given up at that point? thats what it suggests to me#that hes like. joined the people of mercay in just lying down and waiting for other people to fix their problems or just. not do anything#otherwise on mercay you have that old guy in the bar who spends the whole game not leaving bc he doesnt want to face his wife#and she never goes to the bar to actually look for him and just talks about it if anything#the guy with the blue tunic talks a lot about linebeck and his ship and almost gives the impression that he really wants to talk to him#but yknow. doesnt. theres the women that tells you about docks being shut down and how linebeck is the only person who's showed up#the woman you see at the broken bridge who's just like oh well! time to wait til someone fixes it.#even the guy fixing the bridge iirc is like well fuck i gotta do it or else oshus is going to bitch at me abt it#everyone seems reluctant to act which makes for an interesting way in how our main crew stands out#it is less so oh theyve been chosen specifically for this its moreso they're the ones who are fucking doing something about this#for their own various reasons some of which are more selfish but theyre still doing something#will likely have more stuff to say when im done but ofc we have other characters in the game who have to do with this#anyways. linebeck is so animated all of the fucking time it's great i dont think theres any other character that moves as much as him#when he's just standing around to talking to link it's great. he's so ready to get going.#it works with him being an anxious mess and also with like. oh he's probably understimulated. you know he's got a nasty case of wanderlust#i can put it with the idea that he's understimulated and afraid to stim in public so he's just constantly moving#he probably drums his fingers on tables bounces his leg when sitting paces around switches the way he sits or lays down often#tbh this kinda fits in with him being one of the main characters who takes action moreso than a lot of other characters#his arc culminates in him taking action he's going after the ghost ship he's moving around the world the only issue is that one of the#actions he takes is running away from his problems literally n metaphorically (tho idk if facing the jolene problem is a good idea for him)
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vulpinesaint · 15 days ago
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it’s like. i love being trans. and also if there was a loving god he wouldn’t do this to me
#usually my mental illness is emotional Nothingness. when i take wellbutrin i can feel again!#and when the wellbutrin loses efficacy i keep the feeling but lose the good ones so i just unlock Regular Depression. which fucking Sucks#and a couple weeks ago i ran out of t gel and it is a controlled substance so they wouldn’t give me my refill until the full 60 days were up#which meant i had to be off t for like a week. and i was so so hopeful that it wouldn’t do anything to me.#but it restarted my cycle so i’m bleeding rn. and it is so fucking awful#it Hurts and it feels Humiliating and Wrong#cramps and stomach issues And dysphoria and bleeding. nothing more evil to do to me right now#and it’s worse cause i was done with that. i literally GOT RID OF IT. I PUT THE WORK IN. I WAS FREE.#but i couldn’t have my medicine and now i no longer control my own body. horrifying. so horrifying#wore a kind of ill fitting binder today too and it kickstarted Other dysphoria on the drive home so. messed up rn.#i just want to be able to live my life man. i want to have a body that looks and functions like me#and can feel things and do things#and doesn’t subject me to hurt in multiple multiple ways. that would be really cool.#genuinely it does not fucking matter if god loves me. cause if this is what i go through when he loves me#then i don’t want his fucking love.#i hope god kills himself actually#i want to wake up and just be able to put a shirt on and leave the house. can you imagine a fucking world#gonna try nd sleep for like five minutes and then go to dinner with my mom. i can be okay. i can be stronger than my struggles#i just need to be really fucking angry with god.#great time to be reading paradise lost#valentine notes
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morningmask27 · 9 days ago
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Honestly I'm also not fully happy with what they did with Whis this book
#morningtalks#asc spoilers#Not like they gave Whistlepaw a lot of screentime at all despite how relevant WindClan was all of a sudden#(nooooo that had to go to Crowfeather. Not like he's got enough attention with TNP + PO3 + his super edition + deputyship + TBC#+ Changing Skies now too. Noooooooooooooooooooo we really can't have a single other cat in WindClan be important)#At least Whis had an excuse. Making Additional Content for another book that readers have to buy and be USELESS in that book#But Whistlebreeze?#Out of all the fun names you could've chosen. Whistlebreeze?#At least it's not Whistlepelt or Whistleheart#But really? Whistlebreeze?#I find it boring honestly#It's obviously a me thing. I'm obviously going to take Whis' name more seriously than most because I draw that damned cat Every Single Day#But there were so many possibilities for really poetic and pretty names#But they stuck with the simple option. Whistlebreeze#I obviously wanted Whistlebird#But with Ivypool's Therapy Session you could've made an argument for Whistlestorm#Even if it doesn't sound good at all. The two 't' s really don't make for a good name#But it would've been better than Whistlebreeze as far as I'm concerned#-breeze as a suffix can be cute and I like it but it has little to do with Whis aside from WindClan#Whistlebird neither but it sounds fun and has a rare suffix#Obviously Whistlefrost would've been hilarious#Heck. I just thought about Whistlecreek. Kinda odd but could be a more discrete hommage to Frostdawn as a RiverClan cat#(Frostdawn is a good name tho. Pissed she's back to being a healer but Frostdawn is good at least)#I also love the -berry suffix but with Berryheart just being a nuisance it would've been a very stupid decision here#But I'm just annoyed that they went with Whistlebreeze. It's boring. It's kinda pretty yeah but it adds nothing#It says ''Whis is a WindClan cat.''#Whistle- is a hard prefix to work with. The 't' and 'l' at the end makes it nearly impossible for a good amount of suffixes#Because they wouldn't sound good. (Any occlusive or lateral would've been horrendous. That's why Whistlelight sounds bad. Too many L's)#Whistlebreeze does sound nice at least but again it's bland and I am disappointed and really they could've done so much#With this name. Whistle is a difficult prefix but it offers so much poetic potential
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puppyeared · 1 year ago
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footnotes arent enough I need you to talk to me like im fucking Amelia Bedelia
#this isn’t about anything in particular btw. I just have to add a lot of memos when I’m doing things because some things are done a certain#way and it isn’t explained well in the instructions. like my mom has instructions on her baking recipes right#but when it says stuff like add dry ingredients to wet ingredients it also means you don’t dump it in one go you add it slowly by portion#this is probably why I find videos and demonstrations the most helpful when I learn something. like I almost always ask someone to show me#how they do it because there could be something they do that’s already second nature and wouldn’t really be considered in an explanation yk#I don’t think I’m an exception either. when the rice is done cooking I divide it into 4 quarters to bless it#but there are a million ways to divide rice and it makes me think that one persons way of doing it or not doing it all is just as valid#theres also technically no wrong way to divide rice afaik. this means either all ways of dividing rice is safe or valid until we find some#universally terrible way of dividing rice. until that happens nobody really thinks about specifying HOW you divide the rice#source: I have anxiety starting and doing things for the first time because I got way too many people yell at me NONONO WHAT ARE YOU DOING#THATS WRONG while I’m in the middle of doing the thing. I would rather have people think I’m either very stupid or overly specific#than go thru the panic inducing fear of ‘YOURE DOING THIS WRONG OMG WHY DIDNT YOU ASK AHEAD OF TIME THIS WILL BE FUCKED UP FOREVER’ 🧍#nothing wrong if you don’t give something a second thought because you’re so used to it. but I can and will ask about it and I don’t think I#really should feel bad about it if I don’t know enough to dispute it. idk#the other way around I try to be as specific as possible and word things in a way that people who might not get where I’m coming from will#understand. but the problem with that is my explanations tend to be lengthy and I lose them either way 🗿#Im. trying to work on that using examples and stuff because they seem to work the best#but if I could write everything down on a word doc and beam it into your melon that would save both of us time and embarassment#im rambling the short version is I have adhd#yapping
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imthatwannabeauthor · 3 months ago
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#there is this inherent horrible horrible guilt to me when it comes to money#I can not buy something for me. I Have to convince myself it is for something productive#or it will be used by my family or used with my friends#it cant just be for me for nothing or its all for naught#and i dont know how to explain this to people#i really really dont#because then sometimes people will offer to get something for me but thats almost worse#because then it shifts from the guilt of wasting money on yourself for nothing. a solid 65/100 on the guilt scale#to wasting *someone elses* money on myself for nothing which is an easy 80 or so on the guilt scale and is only worse if it costs more#like see.#its easy when its like christmas because so long as you are about equivelent in money or I am doing more than the other it is good and righ#but as soon as the scale tips there is something horrible in my chest like ive done some great wrong to be righted#you know?#I dont know its just#i feel so strange trynig to ever expalin it all so i just . dont#I just try to circumnavigate it#like like#if i can just pay them back overtime it works out perfect#a lot of times i get really really narvous about this to a weird degree and i genuinely dont know how to get out of it#because when its like way over into the red with someone the last time i got so stressed I started sweating like I was running#and i was breathing weird and feeling lightheaded so i layed down on the ground and just stayed there for a while#sorry to Justice and Charles who will never see this post or explaination and only knew that I got really weird at my own birthday circa 19#idk#its just one of those inherent traits to me forever and ever
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imflyingfish · 4 months ago
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working in an art gallery and talking to a lot of full time artists has given me CRAZY imposter syndrome btw lmao
#i went to a local gallery today (not the one i work in)#and i was looking at this one artists work#and she used a lot of patterns but didnt go up to her#she came up to me as i was looking at her work like ' hi i see youre looking at my work which one do u like most' like okay#i had my headphones on at the time so it did scare me#anyway im really stuck thinking about her work#like shes got this lovely cluttered and messy and chaotic style with still life in one dimension#and she uses pattern and quilt-like grids and so much colour#and the chaos of her work is by far the best part#how nothing stays in their boxes andeverythings falling#its homely and DRAMATIC. which is a mix that doesnt always go together but is held together by the chaos of her work#AND THEN SHE PUTS COLLAGE QUOTES ON IT 'fly high in the sky like a butterfly'#AUUUGGGHHH it pisses me off so much. REALLY? THATS THE BEST QUOTE? no song lyrics no deepp meaning nothing to express the narrative? bitch#love her style but its KITCH shes KITCH her quotes are KITCH her subjects are KITCH <- lives in kitch central of the uk but WHATEVER#by the way im not exagerrating with fly high like a butterfly she really thought that was the quote to describe this chaotic scene like she#eight years old like what the hell. there ere others too the pissed me off#and then i talked to her and she was like. WEIRDLY insistant tht even though she used stencils and that her dughter and husbnd drew anythin#mildly complicated that she had still done a lot of work I HADNT SAID ANYTHING#but she was just BRUSHING OVER whenever i mentioned her patterns and stencils like she was ASHAMED#like what the hell im all for having fun with what you draw but youre three times my age and i can draw a bird better than our adult daught#also i spoke to her turns out she knows my stepdad so that was an odd link but whatever#anyway artists that give me imostersyndrome are my boss who does realism in WATERCOLOUR#oh the woman in the gallery also gave me a printed card whcih was cool since i was going to buy one just to be mad at
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wellthatschaotic · 6 months ago
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neurotypicals are so frustrating,, i keep forgetting that "can you do x" means "go do x"
#yesterday i was At Work#i opened alone (we are so fucking understaffed)#at like 945 (coworker came in at 10) these two women-#who until now have done NOTHING managery. they have walked around and talked to each other and asked questions#come up and in a pissy voice like um why hasn't group started#i say i'm the only one back here#'well can't you start ONE group?'#no...im the only one back here#'can you start individuals?' yeah i'll ask [host lead]#(annoyed voice) 'um why do you have to ask her?' because i'm not a lead so she's in charge?#(angry voice) well WE are GENERAL MANAGERS and we are TELLING YOU to do SOMETHING like START INDIVIDUALS#like. chill i am literally just some guy and i am the only guy back here#i also feel its worth noting that apparently since they caught me in the hallway they assumed i hadn't been doing anything#when in reality i hadnt sat down since i got to work. all i did was doing things. there is more to my job than Watch Dogs. especially when#im the only guy doing any of the anything#and i couldnt start individuals immediately because i had to do spot cleans. because i prioritized Not Letting Dogs Sit In Their Own Shit#before dog getting some playtime#like. yes i am a Lower Level Employee. yes i havent worked here that long. but i have worked here longer than you#and im gonna take a wild guess that i care about the dogs more than you#also worth noting that i got no breaks that day (if you work a 6+ hour shift you get a 30 and a 15 at my work)#so i sat down for a total of 5 minutes and that was to take a piss#for context. i worked 7 hours. 6:15am to 1:15pm.#so i have a Bad Feeling about these new general managers. really hope im wrong and this is a one-off thing but. ohhhhh boy
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