#i got to hug some of my wonderful wonderful friends
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Hormones (MeademaXStanwayReader)
Warnings: pregnancy(symptoms include throwing Up), struggles with Body image, birth
Summary: your two girlfriends try their best to get you through the ups and downs of your pregnancy hormones.
You stood in front of the full length mirror in your bedroom, holding your favorite dress in your hands, crying softly. Which alarmed both of your girlfriends and they came running into the bedroom. "lieveling(darling)? What's wrong?" Viv asked and walked over to you. Beth right behind her, checking you over for any injuries. "Are you hurt?" Beth wanted to know. "My favorite dress doesn't fit anymore!" You told them sobbing. They glanced at one another before hugging you, they were aware that your hormones were all over the place. They couldn't really blame you because you currently were 17 weeks pregnant. "Oh love, i am sorry to hear that! But we can go shopping and get some new clothes!" Beth suggested. "It doesn't Matter! Nothing is gonna fit me! I am fat!" You sobbed out. "You are not fat, Angel! You are growing a tiny human in there! Our Baby!" Viv answered, giving you a gentle smile.
The two managed to cheer you up. You were sitting in between them on the Couch. Both of them cuddling you. "I still can't believe we are having a baby. This little one is gonna be so loved!" Beth answered, gently drawing Hearts onto your stomach with her finger. You smile at her and then at Viv. "Baby Bean is gonna have three mommies that love them very much! No matter what." You told them. "For sure! Wonder If we have a footballer on our hands." Viv stated and you let out a small groan. Which had both of your girlfriends sit back up straight. "What's wrong?" Beth asked. "Baby Bean is kicking up a storm right now. Using my bladder as a Trampoline! Which reminds me i really have to pee!" You explained and got up from the Couch. Viv giggled softly. "Okay the Baby is for sure gonna play football!" She answered. "Yes for Arsenal!" Beth stated. "You mean for Manchester City!" Viv answered. You returned to the livingroom. "Maybe we let Baby Bean decide when they are ready and with that i mean let's wait until they can walk and talk on their own! The little one isn't even born yet!" You told them and giggled at their banter. "Also maybe the Baby is gonna play for FC Bayern Munich? Like their aunt or Manchester United, like their mom?" You replied. When you mentioned the Babys aunt you were referring to your Younger sister Georgia. The two of you only have a one year age gap. You sometimes liked to tease your girlfriends a little. You wouldn't mind for whatever Team your Kid plays. If they even want to Play Football. Not that you would hate it if Baby Bean would end up playing for your current team Manchester United.
Unfortunately you struggled alot with morning sickness. That hasn't changed yet so it wasn't long after you relaxed with your girls on the Couch, that you had to make a quick trip to the bathroom. Hanging over to toilet, while throwing up for what felt like an eternity. Viv & Beth walked into the bathroom, trying to be there for you. Beth was rubbing your back gently,while Viv was holding back your hair.
"that sure is a part of pregnancy that i don't like!" You told them after you were done. Flushing the toilet before leaning back into your girlfriends bodies. Viv kissed your head.
"i can only Imagine. But i am so thankful and proud of you for doing this for all of us!" She replied.
"yes i agree with Viv. You are Wonder Woman, Babe!" Beth stated. Hearing your girlfriends kind words made you smile weakly.
"thank you, my loves! I couldn't do what i do without the two of you!" You let them know. They both helped you up. After brushing your teeth & fixing your hair you went to the bedroom with them. Taking a small nap, inbetween both of your loved ones. Viv & Beth held you both protectively.
~~~
A few weeks later you were 22 weeks pregnant. You had a few friends over for dinner. "So are you really keeping the gender a Secret until the Baby is being born?" Georgia wanted to know. You looked at your Sister and smiled. "We sure are thinking about doing that, yes!" You let her know. "Cause if people know they tend to want to know about names and give their opinions! But we already have the name figured out. We love it. Took us a bit to agree on one!" Beth admitted. "Yeah it's the perfect name in our opinion!" Viv stated. "Agreed!" You told them. "Whatever the name and gender will be the Baby will be really loved! That's for sure!" Leah said gently and smiled. "Yeah. Cause the Baby is gonna have lots of aunties that love them and will be protective of them!" Alessia answered. She is your best friend. Same goes for Tooney.
~~~
You were 28 weeks pregnant. Home alone, watching your girlfriends game on the TV. Arsenal was playing against Manchester City. You were stroking your bump gently. Talking to the baby. "Your Mama and your Mami are playing against one another, Bean! They are both amazing Football players and they gonna be even better mommies to you! Cause they already love you with everything they have. I love you like that as well!" You told them Baby. Which resulted in a few Kicks against your hand. The Game ended 1-1. And both of your girlfriends were the ones making the Goals.
~~~
You were now 35 weeks pregnant and finally the last little touches to the nursery were made. Viv hang up some pictures cause there was no way you could have done that.
"liefje(darling)? Do you want the picture here or should i Change it up?" Viv asked you.
You looked at the picture for a moment.
"can you move it a bit more to the right, Love?" You wanted to know.
She nodded her head softly.
"yes of course i can!" She replied with a gentle smile and moved it a bit to the right. "Like this?" Viv added.
You smiled happily.
"perfect! Thank you my love!" You told her and after she hung up all the pictures you kissed her gently. Beth walked in from the kitchen.
"Hey, where is my kiss?" She asked playfully. You giggle softly and walk over to kiss her. Viv did the same.
"Thank you my loves!" She told the two of you. "Dinner is ready!" Beth said softly.
~~~
You were 38 weeks and a few days pregnant right now. You were having contractions right now, so Beth was on her way home not wanting to miss the birth of the Baby. And wanting to Support you. Your sister was with you since she had an injury and couldn't play. So she was visiting from Munich. Viv was at practice but she would be there if things would move along faster. Which they did. You were on your way to the kitchen with Georgia when your water broke. Georgia looked at you before grabbing her Phone.
"i am gonna call Viv! And Then Beth!" She told you. You nodded your head softly.
"please! I am gonna call my midwife!" You replied. You really wanted a homebirth and talked alot about your birthing plan with both of your girlfriends.
Your midwife told you she would be there within the next hour and Viv pretty much raced home. She managed to be there half an hour after Georgia had called her. By the time she arrived home you were standing in the bedroom, your arms wrapped around Georgias neck, your head on your shoulder. While she was rubbing your back. You were breathing through another contraction.
"liefje, i am here now. You got this!" Viv told you. Georgia was quite thankful that Viv took over because she sure wasn't ready to see you give birth. So she quickly left the room.
"it hurts." You told her, leaning into her. Letting out a small whimper.
"i know my love but you are doing so well." She answered. Kissing your head. Beth managed to arrive before the midwife did.
"hey Angel. I am here now! I am so proud of you." She let you know.
You soon moved to the bed when the midwife arrived and you leaned against both of your girlfriends. It now was time to push which was exhausting and really painful but worth it when a loud cry filled the room and your daughter was born.
The three of you cried happy tears and were over the moon. You now were the proud mommies of Haley June Mead-Miedema.
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hi liquid i have a very strange ask beware
my friend asked me to make a powerpoint presentation to explain the basics of F1 (like rules, race weekend schedule, etc.) when i asked if she wanted me to include a list of all the 2025 drivers, she said “yes, i need to know name, age, nationality, and which other driver they have a homoerotic relationship with”.
and now i’m spiralling because like which ones do i tell her about?! because obviously there are endless rpf ships between the drivers, but in terms of drivers being actually incredibly weird around each other in real life?? i’m thinking brocedes (obvs) but not sure which other relationships i should analyze for her entertainment.
basically if you have any suggestions i would love to hear them thank you in advance ❤️❤️
HELLO I really wanted to go through and find individual clips but if I’m honest — the state of My City has been hell and it’s taken more out of me than I thought. I hope this is an adequate response even though it’s not up to my usual (neurotic) snuff :(
Ok so obviously there are a million ships, but I think there are two main categories: those who are compelling based predominantly on Lore™️, and those based around their F1 behavior specifically.
For the Lore, the obvious choices are:
1. Brocedes
There’s so much here…. Nico’s inability to eat anything but their favorite cereal before the deciding race of 2016. The theme of yellow in their helmets (started in karting, Nico ditched the yellow when their relationship when sour, Lewis has retuned to the yellow now that he’s left the team where they fell apart). The story of them on keke’s yacht, promising to make it to f1 together. Them sneaking out for ice cream ((Nico’s wife now having a vegan ice cream brand.)). You could analyze this for years. Years.
2. Lestappen
Though all these fuckers have raced each other for ages, Charles and Max are weird in how often their paths intersected despite not always racing in the same category. One that specifically comes to mind is Max recommending Charles for the seat that he left open when he moved up the ranks; this vocal awareness of and respect for his craft is brought up often when people show them racing wheel to wheel.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the second category, too:
1. Maxiel
it’s objectively INSANE how often Max and Daniel joked about making out. Like at some point — AT SOME POINT — you have to wonder why they’re both so comfortable with that bit, right? Beyond their weird behavior, their dynamic is extra interesting when you consider that Daniel was Max’s first Red Bull teammate: he was almost too young for f1, a bit socially odd, terrifyingly talented, and yet here’s this gregarious man that laughs at everything he says (yet has to remain wary of his threatened career)…. Formative experience.
2. Carlando
This one fascinates me threefold. First of all, there’s their online history. Baby baby baby Lando was constantly in Carlos’s comments and mentions as he moved up through the ranks — he clearly idolized him. To the second point: baby rookie Lando has him as his fucking teammate. Young and naïve, giggly and infatuated Lando got so close with Carlos so quickly, it’s almost nauseating. And then after they were no longer teammates!!!! Carlos is still one of the first people he seeks out to celebrate with (Singapore 2023 hug, forever famous,,,) he goes out to dinner with his FAMILY (Mexican gp 2024,,,,), it’s insane.
They’re clearly still so connected to each other despite no longer having any formal ties — they can’t break their orbit. (Also, why did we stop talking about Brazil 2023 when they rented a house together and everyone’s pretty sure they cheated either with each other or the same model????? Hilarious)
3. Landoscar
This one is fun to analyze for the progression and the new dynamic it presents. Lando’s always been the junior teammate despite being the number one driver — and he acted accordingly. But now he’s in a leadership position after a weird inter-term implosion, and it’s just Some Guy??????? But the way they warm up to each other, the way Oscar starts to understand how to read Lando during their PR videos, THE HESITANCY AND DELICACY OF ONE OF THEIR FIRST TOUCHES (Silverstone fan stage 2023), the way that they allude to their private interactions without ever actually showing them????????
They’re infatuating to analyze in the same way that a Victorian romance is — the details are so small and drawn out that it makes everything feel heightened, scandalous.
4. Piarles
The TRUE childhood friends to lovers angle is criminally underrated in this fandom; we get an approximation from so many of the drivers, since they all grew up racing, but Charles and Pierre went on family vacations together. Pierre calls Charles nicknames that no one else does. He constantly brings him up in interviews, they’re always gossiping before races, they hang out at private events in the off season!!!!!!!
It’s further compelled, I think, when you consider the different level of notoriety they have. Pierre is often out of the spotlight, he has nowhere near the cult following that Charles has garnered. When it comes to someone you’ve known and loved your entire life, how do you deal with that, you know????
#this is a deeply non exhaustive list#honorary mention to pierresteban and yukierre ��� I would’ve included them but I wondered if you could find Enough Content you know? idk#god I love yukierre#I’m sorry again that I wasn’t able to find time to get you specific links and references 😭😭#brocedes#lestappen#maxiel#carlando#landoscar#piarles#ask me :)
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Based on this what's your favorite template by @aisdsstuds76
Now I'm going to do a little rambling below. >:D
Favorite Regular Spirit - Tearful Light Miner
The spirit that made my go "oh... OH. oh nooooooo..." as a moth.
Literally the last one to die out of the group omg... AND WE NEVER SEE THE OTHERS OF THEIR MINING GROUP AGAIN SO THEY PROBABLY THE ONLY ONE THAT BECAME A SPIRIT.
They need a hug fr.
First hair I ever bought was from them.
I drew them staring at their own husk when you relive their spirit because pain man.
Favorite Elders - Wasteland and Vault
I don't actually have much thoughts on the elders but always kinda liked both of them.
Wasteland was the first elder I got in orbit thus bias
STILL WAITING FOR THEIR MASKS TGC
Favorite Seasonal Spirit - Cackling Cannoneer
Words CANNOT describe the unfathomable level of brain rot I have for them... like if I do talk about them this post... that will obliterate and overshadow the rest of the stuff here. Which is not the point!!!! It's a freaking iceberg, and I'm going to have to contain my thoughts like the scp it is.💀
Favorite Creatures:
Instead of an "other" category I wanted to do some much needed favorite creature appreciation, because they make the game feel more alive and sky without creatures would be even more depressing.
1. The Abyss Monster (Thousand Eyes)
Best creature 1000 out of 10
Very chill. They are just swimming there... menacingly!
For something so big it's relatively quiet unless it roars or something has it's attention.
I like that we free them from being trapped in a cramped tank... must have sucked for them. And what could go wrong? Ignore last abyss quest lol. I'm sure cannoneer will be back from the grocery store anytime now.
I like calling them thousand eyes because that "name" kinda just stuck for me ( Also ,unrelated, totally forgot that a person who worked on the music for signalis is called 1000 eyes so that was kinda funny to me... also I love signalis).
They don't actually have 1000 eyes. It's something more along the lines of 29 with 22 missing eyes (I figured that out by comparing images).
Granted, in AU I'm working on they have an ability where the name makes more sense.
I feel like almost everyone calls it something different anyway.
Face wise, reminds me of a moray. I really like morays. :]
2. Eel
Sweet :>
Fun to follow around
The treasure reef one saved me from drowning a few times.
A very unique light creature. Like, the only other light creature I can think of thats kinda similar is the whales with their more stoney masks and how they spin while swimming/flying.
It's noises can be startling if you are not expecting them but I find them quite comforting and probably have some of my favorite animal noises in game. I just wished we had an eel call. I think it would sound pretty.
Has 4 eyes which is unique to them.
I like to call the treasure reef one Velma or Vel... don't have a name for the prairie peaks days of bloom one yet as I cannot choose. I got a list of potential names.
A friend pointed out they kinda look like a leek and I can't unsee it.
3. Krill Cat
CAT CAT CAT CAT CAT
I love how the Cackling Crab one purrs
Mine still my favorite though. They keep me company.
Also I love being thrown into outer space... or playing golf using my skykid as a ball and the cat as the golf club to fling me around... also very useful for building cannons.
4. Krill (Dark Dragons)
I used to be terrified of them. (Had a group of vets lure one at me when I first went into wasteland as a moth)
Broke my fear of krill by watching them from a distance and figured out they are quite predictable pathing wise and to watch out if a server switch happens because it messes with certain ones' pathing more than others... If you wonder why a krill suddenly contorts weird or suddenly makes an unexpected turn that's why.
I but I also enjoy watching them because they have some of the most interesting animations in game.
"Brutally elegant" is the best way to describe how I see them.
They might be partially made out of a sandy, clumpy, almost liquidy type material that isn't completely stable... Ask if you want me to elaborate.
5. Dark lurker (worm)
10/10 creature.
I think they are cute.
I appreciate that they don't drain all my life immediately.
Reminds me of how a dog behaves with a new chew toy.
Feel like they would enjoy eating a sandwich.
Once it snagged a thief that stole my boat! Good worm!
6. Crabs
WHO DOESN'T LIKE CRABS?
They are some of the most interactive creatures in sky.
Leave the friendly ones alone if you value your life. You wanna get me mad? Honk friendly crabs. I will drag you to an early grave you thoughtless monster! And if I didn't do anything immediately to show my anger watch your back... I'm plotting your demise.
7. Knife Fish
KILLER FISH. KILLER FISH FROM SAN DIEGOOOOOO!!!
I have a running gag of using them as actual knives.
Very Very easy to draw.
Noises are pleasant.
Also have saved me from drowning.
8. Butterflies
I sometimes scorn them but most of the time they are quite helpful during candle runs which makes up for it. I remember when they didn't come out of dark plants which made wasteland more treacherous.
Love the new dyeing feature and that butterflies come in multiple colors now... but I still have a fondness for the classic yellow ones.
Cute noises, Butterfly call when TGC???
Also easy to draw
Fond memories of being a butterfly during days of bloom and carrying crabs around with me.
Favorite Places:
I couldn't just pick one realm so just decided to list areas and maps
Note: I decided not to include oob locations, but they may factor into why I like some places.
1. Treasure Reef
Love how the music changes depending on where you are in the map.
It's looks are deceiving... >:)
Kinda foggy
It's Thousand Eyes and treasure reef eels home.
FISH and other creatures there are nice too.
Rip the manta spirit that gave us the ability to go underwater. You are my favorite Manta.
Abyss crews boat
Gorgeous underwater areas.
I LOVE IT WHEN WE GET TO SEE THE GIANT RAINBOW HERE IT'S SO RARE.
The LORE there I have taken quite an interest in.
Great to run if bored of typical candle run.
Level design wise, I think it's one of the better seasonal areas.
It has a big shared space that's partially underwater.
Tower interior OOB is a fav of mine to hide in. But also kinda sucks that it got scrapped for a quest.
Enough is left open for the brain to go crazy speculating and imagining underwater areas there that aren't canon.
I like that place is long abandoned mostly submerged lab, light house, mines, and to some extent a prison... like come on great setting!!!
More than likely there was some really shady shit some ancestors did there.
Is the area that made me question the use of spirit barriers, and how powerful they are because of the ones used in Thousands Eye's and the flock of mantas containments... it makes all the other spirit barriers in game look sus to me now.
It also reminds me of old adventure games and "point and clicks" setting wise like the Monkey Island series, a little bit of Grim Fandango and Freddi Fish games... in other words kinda hits a nostalgic spot in me I didn't know I had.
Has a mysterious invisible object you can pick up that makes a weird sound effect. (It's Probably just a random asset someone at TGC forgot to move).
I like making evil swimming races there for myself and friends if they dare. >:] (Mainly for myself though, ha)
In general great place to chill - like to float around afk on my boat or play music or build stuff.
I got lots of fond memories there.
2. The Archives
My favorite song in Sky's OST plays here: Hover
Home to one of my favorite OOB locations not many people go to
I like the dilapidated flooded liminal hallway vibes
I always felt like it should go somewhere else, but the fact it loops is neat and adds to the vault's weird nonsensical architecture nature.
Crabs in vault? That feels rare.
I think the lanterns and spinning platforms are neat.
3. The Last Lamp Before Death in Eden
I just like playing the Through the Eyes of a Child music sheet before going off to die and like to think it brings good luck to others on the map... or comfort them. Makes me happy when people join in or take a moment to listen.
4. Forest Brook
Pretty much end up going past here every day for event runs route I do.
It Has a nice flow to it compared to other maps for running and it's not too big.
Because the plants don't rotate, they are easier to memorize.
I swear it's one of the maps with the most wax.
Fond memories here with friends and as a moth
I love the secret rainbow there.
Waltzing in the Rain is definitely a iconic and beautiful music track.
Plenty of places the hide and listen to the rain.
There is the manta friend that leads moths through forest.
Often is people's first encounter with crabs... Definitely was mine. XD
5. Wasteland Graveyard
Many points of interest
CATAPULT
Spent alot of time watching krill here to get over my initial fear of them.
I have both fondness and trama for this area.
Not bad wax wise if you can take risk. Best on Sunday though when all of wastelands plants are out instead of being one rotation or the other and/or candle cakes are there.
6. The Patch of Big Blue Flowers in Prairie Peaks
I just think they are pretty even though I don't stay there very often.
Is another place to chill and play instruments or just go afk on my boat.
7. Duet's Concert Hall
My favorite of the crowd tech areas
There is the 4 boat OOB and ghost piano.
I like the flower area and that hidden cave.
8. Starlight Desert (Pot Interior)
The place where I first met a dear friend I don't see too often anymore.
On rare occasions I will play music there but not as much as I used to, just doesn't feel the same...
Its the bitter sweet favorite if you will.
I feel bad for drunk spirit.
Favorite Ships:
Originally was going to do boats instead to be funny but I decided to be brave and talk a little about this.
Also If you have different headcanons and stuff I'm happy for you and wouldn't mind hearing about them.
1. Cackling Cannoneer and Anxious Angler
If you are wonder what's happening in the picture have a headcanon that angler has Cannoneer take pictures of them and their catches sometimes. (Joke on "fishing dad photos")
Originally I didn't ship it. It just kinda happened!!!
I find the dynamics between the two interesting. So now it's become like a side lab experiment I tinker around with.
"Hunter × fisher sapphics???" - something someone said to me and stuck.
And before someone asks I do head canon that both of them are around the same age albeit angler is the slightly older one of the two.
kinda comes off as more of a queer platonic relationship of sorts??? But idk thinks can and have changed before.
As for... if someone is curious about how Doppelneer from my au feels... all I have to answer you is this image from centaurworld...
And to say the least if you know... YOU KNOW and NO they are not going to be taking it well.
Also man that image has been on my phone for awhile... centaurworld underrated.
2. Duets Guide and Compassionate Chellist
I think both of them are cute and really enjoyed that season for actually having somewhat of a story... and hiiiii abyss crew.
I hope they have a nice afterlife together playing music
Other than that I don't have much to say
3. Provoking Performer and Sneezing Geographer
Crack ship due to that one traveling spirit bug... and I found funny and never forgot.
I like to think that the reason that the glitch happened is that geographer sneezed while mid-telaport, and that caused provoking and the random statue to be there. And now sneezing and provoking are dating.
For some reason, it reminds me of a troupe that I swear I have seen... where wizard messes up a spell and summons the wrong spirit/ demon/ entity, and over time, they slowly fall in love... idk lol
Bonus Fav Ships (Boats):
I decided to include this anyway, haha.
1. Abyss Crew's Boat
I love speculating if it had an interior, what it would look like.
Nice size. Rare example of one of the more medium size boats in game.
I like that you can tell that it's definitely a place that was used but the "sand" on everything indicates stuff hasn't been touched in a bit and the fact there are light blooms attached to the boat says it hasn't moved in a bit. Possibly stranded.
While the enchantment ark has a mural telling it's story and you repair it gradually I like abyss crews for the subtlety of prop placement and things are left were they are.
Still RIP beta version of this boat...
2. My Boat
It's my boat :D
T'was one of my first IAP that I got gifted thus I cherish it.
Not as cool as abyss crew's but it does it's job well even though she be a wanderer.
It's always funny when others steal it and proceed to get her stuck.
Wish there was a way to place it in my nest... I would in a heartbeat if I could.
#sky children of the light#sky cotl#sky cotl fanart#sky children of the light fanart#that sky game#headcanon#fanart#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#abyssforphantom's art#digital art#if u have thoughts on this share them please#rambling
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Another year come and gone!
It's been two years since I began my submas hyperfixation! I am still so, so glad I did, and I owe pretty much everything to this fandom!
I have to say, though, from March of 2023 to now has been... a rough year for me, overall. It's been REALLY hard for various reasons, and I thank both my friends and followers for your help and support. I apologize things have been so slow in coming out! I just need more time than I used to, is all. Most of the bad stuff was not related to any fandom at all, thankfully! Some of it was, but that's the risk of being in a fandom.
I am hoping that the March 2024-2025 period is kinder to me.
I did do a lot of cool submas stuff, though. My longfic surpassed 100k words. A zine I was in was released! My first one! And I got into another zine as well! I flew across the USA to meet up with friends and go to a con! I met Emmet's english anime VA! I got to meet other incredible people in cosplay! I got to do so much, and I am so, so grateful for that.
So cheers to another year of submas :)
Tomorrow, the 29th of March, marks 2 years also since I posted my very first submas fic, Closing Doors. While this year I have no new oneshot to post, I will be posting the next chapter of ABYS! I have a lot of things in the works, but burnout and mental health has gotten in the way. I hope y'all understand <3
I'll be posting it from a con too lol, where I will be cosplaying as Emmet! The 2 year anniversary of the first time I cosplayed Emmet! (Not to the day, the con switches what months it's held in every year)
Happy two years, everyone, and here's to many more <3
Here's last year's post :)
#submas#sure why not put this in the tag#sorry it's not rebloggable guys#it's just... more personal this year so i don't want it to be rebloggable#shit's been so rough here and i try so hard to keep my personal life off this blog#but it's my yearly post and i cannot say it was all sunshine and rainbows#but there was a lot of good that i will never forget <3#i got to hug some of my wonderful wonderful friends#and that made it worth it#thanks again everyone! all the love!!
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friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you
#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that#will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT.#anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure.#and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo#$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive#and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started#anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean#and i am just so sad right now#and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun#not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course#i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as#breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage#i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard#i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade#and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone.#i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that#:((#honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug.#im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything
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it is now no longer my birthday but what did i do to deserve so many wonderful talented friends making me gorgeous things for my bday ;__; 💞💞💓💝💘💕
#I LOVE U ALL#spi and andy drawing me beautiful joetrick image#atlas making me a gorg edit to one of my favest ever fob songs#vin making a wonderful joe edit for me#v writing a fic for me (not done yet bc they got their doggy today and i would also forgive them for anything so <3)#NOT TO MENTION MT WONDERFUL BDAY CARDS FROM B AND CLAUDIA ETC ETC#MWAH TO YOU ALL WE ARE HUGGING SOOOOO TIGHT RN#also if you sent me any sort of bday wishes we are ALSO hugging tightly rn!!!!! ily!!!!!!!!!!#a bday to remember :3 cuz i also got a chance to go out with some friends!!!! lovely day!!!!!#unfortunately i got an exam tomorrow but yknow we move BNDHAKAJAK
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I don’t often think I’m upset at not having a good relationship with my parents but sometimes it really fucking hits me that I don’t have a good mom I don’t have a dad I’ll never experience having a good parent and someone I can lean on like that and I get… really upset
#I have this coworker who is about my mom’s age#I love her and she’s a wonderful person and she’s such a good parent to her kids#her autistic queer kids and she fights for them and defends them all the time#she values their interests and does things they love with them and supports their choices and jusy#ugh#today she gave me a hug because ‘it’s really seemed like I wasn’t doing okay’#and ‘I’ve been dealing with a lot of hard things and big life changes which she knows is really hard’#and I kinda teared up#my own parents don’t even know about everything that has happened with my roommate or the friends I’ve lost this year#I don’t tell them. and I could but it wouldn’t matter#my mother wouldn’t care. she definitely wouldn’t sympathize or give me a hug over it#she wouldn’t comfort me#my dad my try but he lives thousands of miles away#and I love my dad but I didn’t get to know him until I was 17#I don’t think he’s really like… a dad you know?#he’s more like some weird friend or MAYBE an uncle than anything#which is fine! I think it’s really the best we can do and like I said I do love him and I know he loves me#but it’s still… different than a parent you know?#and sometimes I just ache knowing I don’t get parents…#I don’t get that relationship that so many ppl have that’s so important to them#and it just doesn’t feel fair and makes me feel really sad#I’m glad I’m as independent as I am but even that doesn’t feel fair#I’ve lived on my own since I was 17…. I never should have had to do that anyways….#and I just feel sad because I got a hug from my coworker that made me want to sob#because it’s like damn… is this a teeny tiny taste of what having an actual good mom is like?#I missed out on so much….#kaz rambles
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thank u for giving this lil blog lots of love even though i'm not as active as i used to be 🥰
#very much surprised to still see it growing and to still be receiving messages/asks even though i've been away for a bit#sorry i've been unable to answer them i promise to get to them very soon!! i appreciate all of them more than you'd ever know 🥹#people on main might not have noticed bc that one's running on a queue that goes on for 2 months at a time but dndndjjd#also don't think i explicitly mentioned the reason why i've been pretty ia but it's because uni and my other orgs are meeting-#-face to face now again#it's also my final semester in uni!! think i'm graduating with latin honors <33#life has been very busy and i really missed coming on here to hang out with everyone and create lil somethings 🥹#thank you very much for sticking with me all this time!! <3#just giving you all a bit of a life update in case u were wondering where i was hehe#though idk if ppl will even see/read this 😭#but if ure still here and u got to this part thank u again and ily <33 hope the days r increasingly kind to u & that today is a v good one!!#if not here r some flowers 🌹🌸💐🌺🌷🌻🌼🪷#and candies!! 🍭🍬#or hugs if you'd like them better 🤗🤗🫂🫂#hope u all know i'm always just here if u need a friend (even if we haven't talked b4)!! i'm just a bit slow with replies hehe#anyway#thank u again everyone <33 it's so nice to see all of u again!!#i'll try to come on here a lot more 🥰#y.txt
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𝐒𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐚! 📸✨
Grace finally has a Magicam account, and what better use for it than immortalizing their friendships?
.𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆★⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ.
🦐 yuur_grace
❤️ 630 🗨️ 43 🔄 22
𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 I finally made an account!! First pic, tea party preparations with housewarden of Heartslabyul! 🌹🫖
❤️ 𝗮𝗰𝗲_𝗼𝗳𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 LMAO? HE'S SUCH A PRUDE LOLL
¬♠️ 𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗱𝗲_𝗱𝗲𝘂𝗰𝗲 @ace_ofhearts dude you're aware that housewarden Rosehearts owns a magicam account right?
♦️ 𝗱𝗶𝗮𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗱_𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱 totes adorbs!! but kinda bummed u didn't pick me for such a cute pic idea... (ㅠ‸ㅠ)
¬🦐 𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 @diamond_mind Oh I'm so sorry!! I got so busy with preparations that it slipped my mind u_u; I'll save you a spot next time, promise!
.𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆★⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ.
🦐 yuur_grace
❤️ 450.2k 🗨️ 130.1k 🔄 130k
𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 ....okay so this MIGHT turn into a series. I pray to the Seven that Leona isn't active on magicam or else I'm migrating (he looks so peaceful tho, doesn't he?!)
🐺 𝗷𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗵𝗼𝘄𝗹__ Grace.
¬🦐 𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 @jackhowl__ Jack...... 5 replies
🐆 𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗴_𝗯𝘂𝗰𝗰𝗵𝗶𝟯𝟵𝟳 you owe me a deluxe cutlet sandwich now btw 😇
¬🦐 𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 I don't recall that being on our TOA?? 1 replies
🐰 𝘀𝗮𝘃𝗮𝗻𝗮_𝗻𝗽𝗰 ????? LEONA KINGSCHOLAR???? ISN'T THAT THE PREFECT WHAT. 1435 replies
🦁 𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗺_𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗿𝟮𝟱𝟲𝟯𝟴𝟮𝟵𝟮𝟱𝟮 Sevens you narrow minded idiot.
¬ 🌐 𝘁𝘄𝘀𝘁𝗻𝗽𝗰 is that literally fucking leona kingscholar 34572 replies
➻oh, except.... maybe they forgot one little detail...
.𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆★⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ.
🦐 yuur_grace
❤️ 23.2k 🗨️ 2.3k 🔄 442
𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 Decided to pay our octobuddy a little visit at the @mostrolounge this afternoon 🐙🍹What a face! (also, wow where did all of you come from?? Was Leona's sleeping visage that baffling of a prospect? ùᴗu,, actually, I'm now realizing that I hadn't even set this account to private...oops.)
🐬 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁𝘀.𝗮.𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗮𝘆 ahahah!! oh man look at his face! little shrimpy's got guts~
¬🦐 𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 thanks for being the cameraman buddy ùᴗu ͙͘͡★ 7 replies
❤️ 𝗮𝗰𝗲_𝗼𝗳𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 I'm surprised you didn't get ptsd just from walking into that room LMAO
¬🦐 𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 @ace_ofhearts hm okay how about you join me next time
¬❤️ 𝗮𝗰𝗲_𝗼𝗳𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 @yuur_grace no thank you <3
🐬 𝗷𝗮𝗱𝗲.𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗰𝗵. hahah. how swift. perhaps i may join you one day to capture such riveting images. 3 replies
🌐 𝘁𝘄𝘀𝘁𝗻𝗽𝗰 ok no I'm actually so invested we can't just move on from the fact that this guy showed up all of a sudden and just KNOWS Leona kingscholar personally?!?? 200 replies
.𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆★⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ.
🦐 𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲
❤️ 530.5k 🗨️ 221k 🔄 138k
𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 Another face cradled! And a dear friend hugged! Had a blast at this wonderful get-together in Scarabia dorm ☀️🏮🎇 I think I'm ready to sleep for a week though hahaha ^^;
☀️ 𝗸𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗺✪ I'm so glad you came! I don't think I've had that much fun with friends in a while! You're always welcome whenever you feel like visiting 😊✨
¬ 🦐 𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 @kalimalasim always!
¬ 🌐 𝘁𝘄𝘀𝘁𝗻𝗽𝗰 ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME 1240 replies
🐍 𝗷𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹_𝘃 There's still some leftovers if you'd like to take some for Grim. Or yourself, really. 2 replies
🌐 𝘁𝘄𝘀𝘁𝗻𝗽𝗰 oh okay so there's even MORE. why not. SURE. 212 replies
.𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆★⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ.
🦐 𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲
❤️ 970.6k 🗨️ 596.3k 🔄 502k
𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 Nothing better than a long evening spent with the beauty queen himself @vilshoenheit. And look, he reciprocated! How sweet~ 💜✨ A wonderful idol, an even better friend.
👑 𝘃𝗶𝗹𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗲𝗻𝗵𝗲𝗶𝘁✪ How precious. Do take good care of that manicure.
¬👑 𝘃𝗶𝗹𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗲𝗻𝗵𝗲𝗶𝘁 Wait, Grace, is this a private post?
¬🦐 𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 will do! 🤍 2304 replies
🍎 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗹_𝗳𝗲𝗹𝗺𝗶𝗲𝗿 man you're better than me, i can't stand a second doin any a this balderdash
¬🦐 𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 your loss,, it's sooo relaxing 🙂↕️
🌐 𝘁𝘄𝘀𝘁𝗻𝗽𝗰 YOU GUYS I CANT COPE ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEEEEE 784 replies
🌐 𝘁𝘄𝘀𝘁𝗻𝗽𝗰 is this guy some sorta undercover cop or sum?? how's he got all these crazy ass ties??
🏹 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗵𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗸 oh, là là... quelle beauté, the calm before the storm~
.𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆★⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ.
🦐 𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲
❤️ 60.3k 🗨️ 43.4k 🔄 22.5k
𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 Seems like I've been graced with this nice little picture from @0r1h0_shr0ud2 during a visit to Idia's dorm! No face hold unfortunately, but it's quite cute!🩵🤍 Very rare, it seems Idia has yet to realize the photo being taken ^o^. Peep the adorable little PreMo gacha figure I got for him...? 👀
🩵 𝟬𝗿𝟭𝗵𝟬_𝘀𝗵𝗿𝟬𝘂𝗱𝟮 I was so happy that you decided to stay and keep my brother company, Grace Alexander-san. Idia doesn't show it, but you really made his day!
¬🦐 𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 @0r1h0_shr0ud2 awww! I'm always happy to spend time with you both! 🤍 3 replies
💙 𝗴𝗹𝟬𝟬𝗺𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗶 woah when was this?! you can't just spring such a rare event out of nowhere! delete, delete!!! 5 replies
♦️ 𝗱𝗶𝗮𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗱_𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱 oh my Seven!! you both look so dope! truly inspiring— and can we talk about how *adorbs* you look with that biscuit hanging from ur mouth?? (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
¬🦐 𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 @diamond_mind brothaaaa keep this up and you'll be fighting off rumors for days LOL ùᴗu ahuahu
¬❤️ 𝗮𝗰𝗲_𝗼𝗳𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 @yuur_grace OH U WANNA HEAR ABOUT RUMORS??? HAHAH
🌐 𝘁𝘄𝘀𝘁𝗻𝗽𝗰 Am I tweaking or is that like. *The* Idia Shroud from the family Shroud part of the largest technological pioneers in Twisted Wonderland. Or am I insane.
¬🌐 𝘁𝘄𝘀𝘁𝗻𝗽𝗰 this HAS to be a social experiment atp?? What in the world is this guy's power??? 467 replies
.𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆★⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ.
🦐 𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲
❤️ 2.1m 🗨️ 740.3k 🔄 680k
𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 it felt almost special, leaving my vest off. Maybe it was the winter breeze. Tsunotaro helped me with his cape, though, despite my insistence. What a sweet personality! 💚🐉 We took a long walk through an abandoned woods, found some gorgeous gargoyles. To end my little series, I asked to hold him as well. He doesn't own a magicam account so I can't tag him... But at least he can keep the pictures :) Hurray! It ends! 🤍✨
🌐 𝘁𝘄𝘀𝘁𝗻𝗽𝗰 THERE IS NOOOOO FUCKING WAY I REFUSE NO NO ABSOLUTELY NO WAY THIS IS AN EVIL PRANK WHAT WHAT WHATTTTATSYSYTHJDHJ WHO IS THIS GUYYYYYY 1204 replies
🌐 𝘁𝘄𝘀𝘁𝗻𝗽𝗰 OH YES DROP THE BOMB ON US WHY NOT. OKAY. THREE OTHER CELEBS WEREN'T ENOUGH I GUESS. 762 replies
🦇 𝘃𝗮𝗻𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗲𝗲 Grace, you must know I have never been so entertained in my long life. Why, Malleus himself sits beside me and stares down at the screen in bafflement!
¬🦐 𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 @vanrougee ???? Explain?? ToT
¬♦️ 𝗱𝗶𝗮𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗱_𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱 @yuur_grace you sweet summer child 😭✋
¬ 🐊 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴.𝘇𝗶𝗴𝗯𝗼𝗹𝘁 @yuur_grace YOU ARE ENTIRELY UNCONNIVING. YOU PLACE MALLEUS UNDER INTENSE SCRUTINY FROM THE MASSES AS WELL AS LADY MALEFICIA! YOU SHOULD BE MORE MINDFUL, HUMAN!!
¬🦐 𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗿_𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 OH my god.
HEHEHE I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS AS MUCH AS I DID THIS WAS SO EXHAUSTING BUT SO FUN TO MAKE !!! 🩷🤍🩷✨✨ Also pls don't look too hard at the numbers ik a lot of them are wrong I'm sleep deprived and high on 3 monster cans 🤍
#twst#twisted wonderland#mal draws#ace trappola#deuce spade#cater diamond#riddle rosehearts#leona kingscolar#ruggie bucchi#jack howl#azul ashengrotto#jade leech#floyd leech#kalim al asim#jamil viper#vil shoenheit#epel felmier#rook hunt#idia shroud#ortho shroud#malleus draconia#lilia vanrouge#sebek zigvolt#twst x reader#twst x yuu#twst x oc#twisted wonderland x reader#twst yuu#twst kalim#twst yume
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Seen the request, so I shall deliver. Could you pls write a drabble or hcs of a yandere sunday with an isekaied reader?
Good timing because I'm actually planning a non yan isekai fic for him, I wonder if you saw that post. Here it is in case you haven't.
Sincerest apologies if this isn't the best, this fic is 100% emotionally charged by my obsession with him and frankly with a little bit of a high for passing a tricky exam. This is a treat for myself.
EDIT: Please check out this wonderful comic that @danijaci made me based off this fic!! 😭🫶
Picking up the cup from the fine oak table, you gazed towards the eerie galaxy before you, hundreds upon thousands of stars giving you a constant reminder of just how far from home you truly were. Taking a sip from the little porcelain cup you could not help but to hum in delight, the soft notes of the tea soothing your nerves ever so lightly as you pretended to ignore the heavy gaze which lingered at the back of your head.
Even from this distance, it was easy to tell that Sunday was eager to approach you. Still, he kept his distance and made a silent offering in the form of the very tea you drank at the moment.
Anything is better than Himeko's coffee but you were never going privy her to that.
In a not so distant past, all of this was nothing but fiction. The Express, the story, the characters - it was all nothing more but fiction, something to pass the time as your days went on and on, the same monotony repeating each and every day.
It was hard to not think about your friends and family, what sane person would not? Lord knows how they must be feeling right now, worried sick out of their minds with indescribable sorrow. In their eyes you had merely vanished, not a single trace to be found. For all they knew you could have been left for dead in a ditch somewhere, beaten, bloodied and broken, never to see the light again or if they were even more inclined to be morbid, you had succumbed to a fate worse than death. Death at the very least grants you finality, that all is over regardless of what happened moments prior.
But that was simply not the case for you.
Here you were, lounging about in a comfortable chair as you pondered on your old life while enjoying tiny little luxuries, far away where none of your loved ones could reach you. However, life was funny sometimes because it had some fun games in store.
Sunday was very kind upon arrival. He made sure to always be there for you, always checking up on you, always there to keep you company. You were already smitten with him but now to actually witness him in the flesh was just... Indescribable. You got along like a house on fire, so much so that the crew liked to tease that you ought to just get a room. Sunday, ever the gentleman, would just brush their words aside and assure you to not take their playful little jabs to heart.
You wouldn't say anything, resorting to merely giving him a smile but not because of what he said but rather of what he did not - never once did he actually shut down those perverse accusations. Never, not even once did he deny them.
He became an emotional crutch, someone to whom you would come running to when things got tough and he would always welcome you with open arms. Sunday would hold you tenderly, his serene voice dripping with honey along with a tender drop of ecstasy, for his excitement with holding you would just show itself sometimes. His grip would be too tight at certain moments, never quite ready to let you leave. His hugs were warm and comforting, he always smelled so good too. He smelled like kindness and sweet wildflowers, always lulling you back to him no matter the time. In dark corners and perhaps even under the watchful eyes of the crew, Sunday would wrap his scarf around your head, securing the soft fabric in order to provide you with a sense of comfort.
It was humiliating just how much you would try to inhale his scent as much as possible. You wanted it etched deep inside your memory, you wished for it to linger on your very soul and for it to follow you everywhere you went, sticking to your being like tar. The fabric of the scarf would muffle your ears a little but someone was always chatting in the background. Be it March bickering with Dan Heng, Mr Yang scolding someone for doing something they were not supposed to, or just Conductor Pom Pom trying to give a speech, all of it was irrelevant.
You were ready to kill whoever would try to pry you away from sweet Sunday. That thought came often which had left you worried - just what kind of person had you become? Regardless, you kept your mouth shut and had no plans of sharing such violent sentiments with anyone, particularly not to the one you held so dear.
When it was time to part for the evening you would bid the crew farewell and wished them a good night. You always made sure to take a few extra seconds with Sunday, just to ease your aching soul. He would tell you to sleep well and would see you in the morning, ready to take on any endeavor that crossed your paths.
As everyone parted ways, Sunday would wander off somewhere dark and distant, somewhere no one could see nor hear him. He would fall to his knees and clutch his chest in agony, fat tears streaming down his face as he did everything he possibly could to steady his raging heart. In a rush he would reach for the scarf which clung around his neck, his grip tighter than iron as he would bring it close to his nose. Taking a large, deep breath, Sunday was greeted by your familiar scent which would promptly calm his poor heart.
He sometimes wondered if his heart would start bleeding from the pain due to the sheer intensity of his emotions.
This was wrong, everything about this was not right and it hurt. Sunday was obviously ill but he had no clue on how to fight this... This emotion, this white hot feeling of need whenever you stood by his side. He started to choke on the air around him and fell into an abrupt coughing fit but even then, he could bring himself to remove the scarf from the lower part of his face.
Sunday wept and sobbed, filthy snot coming out from his nose but he could not handle that now. He needed you, Oh Heavenly Aeons, how he needed you. However was he going to tell you how he felt? How, oh how was he going to express the sheer magnitude of his true thoughts? He would scare you off, he was sure of it.
Even with this pain, even with these clipped wings and bleeding heart, Sunday had never felt so alive, so harrowingly present in the moment whenever he was with you.
Perhaps, he was doing himself a kindness by just letting you be. Drink your tea, be at peace.
He can always just make you another cup if you so desired.
Without knowing, you both haunted each other in the most agonizing way known to mankind and neither was strong enough to face the reality of the situation.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere imagines#yandere x you#yancore#yanderecore#yandere aesthetic#yandere male#yandere sunday x reader#sunday x reader#yandere sunday#sunday#sunday x you#yan hsr#yandere hsr#hsr x reader#sunday hsr#yandere honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail
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I’ll Cry If I Want To
Pairing: enemies to lovers!Peter Parker x Stark!Reader
Synopsis: you get stood up on your birthday and Peter attempts to cheer you up despite your feud
Masterlist
Peter walked into the kitchen in the tower and was immediately greeted by a confetti popper exploding in his face followed by a tender kiss on the forehead from Tony.
“Oh, my. Good morning to me.” Peter smiled at the greeting.
“Damn it, Parker.” Tony groaned. “I thought you were my little girl.”
“Don’t feel bad, daddy. A lot of people confuse Peter for a little girl.” You said as you walked into the kitchen behind Peter. The two of you made eye contact and you gave him an innocent smile while he rolled his eyes at you.
“Ha ha.“ He said sarcastically and then hissed at you like a cat. You gave him a look as you walked over to your dad.
“Happy birthday, baby girl.” Tony said and pulled you into a long hug.
“Thank you, daddy.” You smiled and hugged him back.
“Thank you, daddy.” Peter said in a high pitched voice to mock you. You and Tony looked at him and he quickly cleared his throat.
“Sorry. What I meant to say was, happy birthday. I didn’t know that was today. I mean, I’d been wondering why you looked so old but I assumed it was from your lack of sunscreen use.”
“Nice try. I wear sunscreen everyday.” You replied.
“Really?” He gasped. “Might want to up that SPF a few. You look like a crumbled piece of paper and not in a fun Taylor Swift way.”
“Don’t talk to me about skincare, Rudolf.” You snapped and tapped your nose twice to point out the zit on the tip of Peter nose. He covered it with his hand and narrowed his eyes at you.
“Children, please. No fighting. It stops my moisturizer from sinking in.” Tony sighed and rubbed circles into his skin.
“Sorry, daddy. I just wanted to make sure Peter knew about the giant pimple on his nose in case he was going to see anyone today.” You said as you smiled sweetly at Peter. He discreetly flipped you off by scratching his cheek with his middle finger.
“Any plans for the night, jelly bean?” Tony asked you.
“Nothing crazy. My friends are coming over later for a sleepover.”
“Oh God. Is this gonna be one of those crazy parties where you all get drunk and things get out of hand and you accidentally kill someone and have to dispose of the body together while hijixs ensues?” Peter. whined.
“No, because this isn’t one of the pornos you watch.” You scoffed.
“Pfft. That is not what I watch.” He insisted. “Where would I even find something like that? What would I even type? I’m open to suggestions.”
“Shut up.” You laughed. “You’re such a weirdo. And don’t be hanging around when my friends are here. I already told them you’re a pervert and on the FBI watch list so you don’t have a chance with any of them.”
“I don’t want to date your freakbob friends anyway.” He scoffed. “And to keep it down tonight, will you? I already wake up the birds chirping every morning. I don’t want to hear you birds all night too.”
“I actually came up with a solution for that. What if you killed yourself?” You asked through a smile.
“That’s a great idea. I might give that a whirl today if I’m not busy.” He replied and matched your smile.
“You? Busy?” You laughed. “Please. Busy doing what?”
“Peter and I are gonna be in the lab doing boring stuff with the suits. Adjustments, additions, and what have you.” Tony answered you.
“Oh. Okay. Do you need any help?” You asked.
“I wouldn’t ask you to do that on your birthday, baby girl. Peters got it.” Tony replied, making your smile falter a little.
“Yeah. I’ve got it.” Peter boasted and gave you a smug look. You glared at him for a moment before looking back at your dad.
“I’ll catch you later for some cake, okay honey bun?” Tony told you before kissing your forehead.
“Okay. Bye. Have fun.” You smiled sadly as he left the room.
“You look greasy, by the way.” Peter said once you were alone.
“Like I care what you think. Even your hairline won’t stay with you.” You scoffed and nodded towards his forehead.
“It’s not actually receding, is it?” He asked and touched his hair.
“Maybe your forehead is just getting bigger.” You shrugged and popped a grape in your mouth from the bowl on the table.
“Bite me.” He replied and stopped touching his hair.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” You chuckled. “Isn’t that how you got your powers, spider boy?”
“Yup. What do you think would happen if you bite me? Would I be able to a do anything a total bitch can?” He wondered, making you pelt a grape at him. He caught it with ease and popped it into his mouth.
“Watch your mouth before I bring out the peppermint essential oils again.” You warned him.
“You wouldn’t.” He said quietly.
“Try me.” You shrugged. You stared at each other across the kitchen for a moment before Peter gave up.
“You win. Here’s your card. Happy birthday, gaylord.” He said as he handed you a homemade birthday card from his jeans pocket before quickly running out of the room. You rolled your eyes at him but smiled once he was gone and read the card. As annoying as you normally found him, you appreciated that he remembered your birthday. Inside the card was a crude drawing of the two of you fighting next to a drawing of a gift card to Planet Fitness.
Peter strolled into your bedroom around 10 pm when he had grown curious as to why your friends weren’t there yet. It was getting kind of late and you had listed many activities that you had planned to do while Peter begrudgingly listened to you talk earlier in the day. You were still in your room by yourself so he went in and knocked on your door to see what was happening.
“Hey dingus. When are your dumb friends getting here? I need to know when I should jam my ears with scissors.” Peter said as he leaned against your doorway. You were sitting on your bed with your knees draw to your chest and your chin resting on top of them as you stared out the window.
“Do that anyway.” You mumbled and didn’t move from your position.
“I’m going to. I can’t listen to you all yap about when Reputation TV is coming all night. And your friend Stacy’s theories are always way off.” He continued. You still didn’t turn to look at him and his smirk dropped when he heard a sniffle. He frowned and took a step into your room.
“Hello? I knew you were dumb but did you forget how to turn your neck or something?” He said to try to make you laugh. You stayed still and he craned his neck to try to see your face.
“Seriously though, when are they coming?”
“They’re not coming.” You said finally in a horse voice.
“Why? What happened? Did they finally realize you’re an annoying brat whose only redeeming quality is access to daddy’s credit card?” Peter teased in another attempt to make you laugh.
“Something like that.” You mumbled. Peter frowned and finally realized that something was actually wrong. He sat down on your bed and reached his hand out.
“Whats going on? Are you okay?” He asked in a soft voice.
“Just go away.” You said sadly and wiped tears from your face. Peter shot a web at a tissue box on your dresser and pulled it over.
“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what happened.” He said and handed you a tissue. You gave him a skeptical look and he held up one hand in defense while waving the tissue in the other like a white flag. You sighed and took the tissue before wiping your eyes.
“They found out it wasn’t a yacht party or at some fancy restaurant or some elitist club in Tribeca so they all cancelled.“ You said as you nervously ripped the tissue up in your hands.
“They cancelled? Why?”
“Because no one wants to come to my party. They want to come to a Stark Industries party with puppies in the gift bags and acrobats suspended from the ceiling and Avengers walking around like party clowns. Just hanging out with me wasn’t cool enough so they all bailed.” You sniffled and turned back to look out the window. Peter raised his hand to place it on your shoulder but then drew it back. He didn’t know if he was who you’d want to comfort you and he didn’t want to push it.
“I’m sorry.” He said instead.
“Like you care.” You laughed sadly and held your knees tighter to your chest.
“I do care.” He insisted. “And I’m very sorry this happened to you tonight.”
“No you’re not.” You scoffed. “You’re probably thrilled to see me like this. This is probably the greatest moment of your dumb life.”
“It’s not.” He said quietly. You finally whipped around to look at Peter and he saw the pain in your red eyes.
“It’s not? Look at me, Peter. I’m pathetic. I’m alone on my birthday because I wasn’t good enough for anyone to hang out with.” You exclaimed. Peter went quiet as you slowly caught your breath. You teased each other all the time but you’d never actually yelled at him before. You wiped your eyes with the tissue before staring at your hands.
“You were right.” You said quietly. “I am just a spoiled brat who people only like because of my connections. And I’m sure you’re anxiously waiting for me to shut up so you can say “I told you so” and prove to me once again that I’m always wrong.”
You and Peter sat in silence for a minute without looking at each other. Peter felt guilty that you were expecting him to kick you while you were down. You were feeling your own guilt for snapping at him when he was trying to be nice.
“I’m not gonna say that.” He said after a beat.
“It’s fine. I’m fine. Just go away.” You said miserably and turned back to the window. Peter opened his mouth to say something but shut it when he couldn’t find the words. He patted your shoulder twice before getting up and leaving your room. You turned to look at the door once he was gone and felt yourself missing his presence. You turned back to the window and stared out at the night sky through your teary eyes and let time pass.
After a while, you started to smell something. You sniffed the air until you recognized it as the scent of a something burning. Out of sheer curiosity, you wrapped a blanket around your shoulders and padded into the kitchen. You found Peter in the kitchen with a lace trimmed pink apron tied around his waist and flour smeared on his cheek. You smiled in surprise and leaned against the wall to watch him for a minute. He was humming to himself a song you didn’t recognize while scrapping a burnt black lump of something into the trash can. When he finally turned around, he jumped when he saw you.
“Jesus. You scared me. But I guess I should’ve known the smell of something baking would have your big back running to the kitchen like I hit the bat signal.”
“Shut up.” You chuckled. “What are you doing in here?”
“Well, your parents went to a movie since they thought your friends would be here. That means no ones home.” Peter began.
“And?” You asked.
“And so I thought we could fulfill a lifelong fantasy of mine and making sweet love to you on the kitchen counter.” He smiled suavely and raised his eyebrows at you.
“Excuse me?” Your jaw dropped as he drummed his fingertips on the counter.
“I’m joking. I’m clearly baking a bake. Or, I tried. I guess 500 degrees was too hot.” He said and looked at the burnt cake in the trash.
“Yeah, that’s a few hundred above what it should be. But why are you baking? We have a chef for that.”
“Because it’s your birthday you miserable bitch. And everyone deserves a cake baked with love. Now do you prefer chocolate or vanilla frosting on your burnt cake?” He asked and held up two cans of frosting. You looked between the two before your eyes settled on him. You hugged your blanket tighter around yourself and shook your head.
“I don’t want your pity.” You said quietly.
“You don’t have it so shut up and grab a spatula before I rescind your choice in the matter and funfetti the fuck out of this cake.” He replied and held out a spatula. You stared at it and felt compelled to take it and join him, but you were still throwing yourself a pity party.
“No.”
“No? Look, I’m trying to cheer your dumb ass up so can you please work with me here?” Peter sighed and looked at you. You stared at him for a while before cracking the slightest smile. He noticed the smile and knew he had succeeded in his plan to cheer you up.
“Fine. But I’m not eating that. That’s what Santa puts in the bad kids stockings. We’ll make a new one. But I’m not touching raw eggs.” You told him and grabbed your dad’s matching pink apron from the drawer.
“I wouldn’t expect you to, Princess.” Peter mumbled under his breath. You glared at him through your lashes as you threw some flour and sugar into a bowl. Peter went to put the butter in but you pushed his hand away.
“It can’t be cold butter or it won’t mix properly. It has to be room temperature.” You explained as you filled a measuring cup with water.
“Oh. Let’s pop it in the microwave then.”
“We can’t do that either. Then the hot butter will scramble the eggs. Do you want little egg bits in your cake?” You asked him as you microwaved the cup of water for a minute.
“Maybe just a little.” Peter replied as he watched you put the butter into a small bowl and then place the bowl on top of the microwaved water.
“There. This will soften the butter without making it hot enough to scramble the eggs.” You explained. He looked between your little invention and you for a minute before smiling.
“Wow. That was really smart.” He said genuinely. “Women really do belong in the kitchen.”
“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes as you set the temperature to the correct heat on the oven. Peter couldn’t help but watch you over his shoulder as you combined the rest of the dry ingredients and expertly cracked an egg in one hand. He rarely got to see you like this, no makeup and in lounge clothes. And he definitely never saw you upset before. He was used to the perfectly groomed and standoffish version of yourself so this change of pace brought him unexpected joy.
“Move over. That’s not how you mix batter. You need to fold it.” You told him and reminded him of the you he knew. You bumped him with your hip and put your hands over his to help him fold the batter.
“Like laundry?” He asked as his cheeks heated up.
“Like you know what laundry is, Pigpen. And no. A different folding. Like this.” You said and helped him mix the batter until it was the desired consistency.
“Oh wow. That worked really well. I usually just go sicko mode until it turns into goop.” He confessed.
“And how does that work out for you?” You asked him.
“Look in the trash and you’ll find out.” Peter replied and eyed the burnt cake in the garbage can. You playfully rolled your eyes at him and kept helping him fold the batter. Everytime he tried to stir the batter, you gently corrected his hands to fold it instead.
“Why don’t you just do it?” He asked when he started getting frustrated with himself.
“Because you won’t learn if I do it.” You replied in a softer tone. Peter went quiet since you were being unexpectedly nice to him. You let the batter sit for minute once you were satisfied and then poured in into a cake pan.
“There. Thats gonna take about 30 minutes to bake and then it needs to cool before we frost it.” You told him as you shut the oven door.
“Oh, so we have 30 minutes? Then circling back to that making love on the counter idea-“
“Shut it.” You warned him. Peter pretended to zipper his lips and throw away the key. You cracked a smile before starting to clean up the kitchen. Peter wordlessly helped you tidy up and you exchanged a soft smile with each other in the silence of the kitchen.
“What was your worst birthday?” You asked after a long beat of silence.
“Are you talking to me?” Peter asked after looking around.
“Peter, we’re the only ones in the room.”
“Sorry. It’s not like you’ve ever asked me a personal question before. It’s usually “are you stupid?” or “can you go away?” or “do you need a tampon cry baby?” He recalled, making you feel bad for always being so mean to him.
“Oh. Sorry about that.” You said quietly. “I sound a lot meaner than I thought I was.”
“I’m mean too.” Peter shrugged.
“You tease me.” You shook your head. “I’m just cruel.”
“I think we are an equal amount of mean to each other. Don’t let it keep you up at night. I’m sure your chronic yeast infections do that enough.” Peter tried to lighten the mood, but you didn’t crack a smile. You seemed faraway in thought and he was curious as to why.
“Do you think I’m hard to be around?” You asked after a minute. Peter was about to crack another joke until he saw the look on your face. He could tell you needed a friend right now and was filled with determination to be one.
“No. I think those girls you called your “friends” are hard to be around.” He said seriously. “I’ve seen you with them. They’re the mean ones. Them bailing tonight has nothing to do with you. They’re a bunch of shallow jerks who only care about the material things in life. They don’t care about having deep connections with people. They only care about deep pockets on people. I know this isn’t the first time they’ve ditched you. And I know you feel alone even when they are here because you’re never fully included. You think no one notices because you tell stories about your charming adventures together but I see it in your eyes. They make you feel like an afterthought. You act tough and pretend it doesn’t bother you but I know that it does. You shouldn’t hang out with them anymore.”
“Then who am I going to hang out with?” You shrugged sadly. “Without them, I don’t have any friends.”
“Sitting alone is better than sitting at a table where you’re the topic of conversation when you get up.” Peter said simply. You stared at him for a moment before your eyes fell to the floor.
“I just don’t want to be alone.” You said quietly. Peter nodded his head in understanding and let a silence fall between the two of for a while. He was going to say that you wouldn’t be alone because you’d have him, but he didn’t know if you wanted to hear that.
“Can I ask you something?” He asked.
“No.” You said immediately. You made eye contact and you let out a sigh.
“Okay. Go ahead.”
“Why don’t you like me?” He asked without looking into our eyes. You saw that coming and stared at him to try and get a sense of what was going on in his head. He slowly looked back up at you and gave you a weak smile.
“Do you remember that time the power went out in the city due to that Max guy or whatever and we all lit candles and hung out in the tower?”
“Uh oh.” Peter gulped. “You answered my question with another question. That can’t be good.”
“Shut up. Do you remember or not?” You asked and gently kicked his foot with your foot.
“I remember that.” He told you and held your gaze.
“You were new around here. You had just gotten your powers that year so I didn’t really know you yet. I had gone to look for more candles and found you crying on the floor of the linen closet.
“I remember that.” He nodded. “It was all so overwhelming to be here with the whole team. I had never felt so small.”
“I know. I told you I felt like that too sometimes. And then we stayed up for hours talking about every stupid thing we ever worried about and gave each other advice. I think at one point I gave you advice on how much conditioner to use.” You said as you replayed the night in your memory. You had a look on your face that Peter had never seen on you before. It was natural and relaxed and playful, all things he knew to be the opposite of you. It was so rare that the two of you were getting along and he didn’t want to do anything to ruin in.
“A dime sized amount and not on the roots. I still use that advice.” He chuckled. “You were so nice to me that night. You came in and pretended I wasn’t crying so that I wouldn’t be embarrassed. You just sat down with me and started talking ad if we’d always been friends. You quieted all my fears that night. I was initially so embarrassed about it but then I felt a lot better knowing someone had my back no matter how bad I messed up.”
“I always had your back.” You insisted. “Even when I was mean to you. If you were in trouble with my dad, I was always here talking him down and trying to get him to see your side. He sees you through the lense of his child that he doesn’t want hurt but I’ve always seen you as a hero who wants to help. I even got him to give you the suit back when you were 15. And it was my idea to put the warmers in because you told me you’re always cold.”
“Really? You were rooting for me this whole time?” He cracked a smile in surprise.
“Yeah.” You shrugged. “Always.”
“Then how come you act like…” Peter trailed off in fear of insulting you.
“Like what?” You asked, sounding like you already knew what was coming.
“Like you hate me.” He admitted. You felt your face burn in embarrassment and shook your head.
“I don’t hate you.” You said sheepishly.
“You don’t?” He asked in genuine surprise. You looked at him and he could see the guilt in your eyes even in the dim light of the kitchen.
“No. I don’t. I never did.”
“Then how come we don’t get along anymore?” He asked. He had only gone along with all the teasing since you began it, but he had always wondered why it started.
“One of the things we had talked about that night was how my one regret about being homeschooled was never getting to experience a prom. I told you had dreamed of it since I was a little girl and it broke my heart to know I’d never have one. So then you said…” You trailed off, thinking he’d remember what he told you. His face showed no sign of remembering it but he racked his brain anyway.
“I said what?” He asked, breaking your heart just a little more.
“You promised to take me. To yours.” You told him. You and Peter stood in silence for a moment before he burst out laughing. Your sadness immediately hardened into anger at the sound of him laughing at you.
“Wait, you’ve been pissy towards me for the last few years because I broke a promise I made at 15 years old and didn’t take you to a stupid school dance?” Peter asked through a laugh. You glared at him for his reaction and he immediately stopped when he noticed you weren’t laughing too.
“Oh. We’re not laughing?” He asked.
“Why is that funny to you?” You snapped. Peter saw the moment slipping away from him and started to panic.
“Well I was- I was a kid.” He said simply. “I had a huge crush on this girl Liz and we were finally becoming friends so I asked her and she said yes. That was years after I promised you that. I’m sorry but I didn’t remember.”
Peter thought you were going to yell at him and hurl a parade of insults his way, but you just nodded your head and looked down at the ground.
“You’re right. We were just kids. Forget I said anything.” You mumbled and started walking towards the door to leave. Peter knew he had messed up big time and possibly just killed any and all chances of the two of you becoming friends.
“Wait.” He said desperately just as the kitchen timer went off. You stopped walking and watched him haphazardly take the cake out of the oven and throw it in the stove top as he blew on it.
“You should stay. We have to frost it.” He said with a weak smile and an even weaker attempt for you for stay.
“You can’t frost it while it’s hot. It’ll slip right off.” You said without looking at him.
“Oh. I didn’t know that. Well then do you want to talk some more or-“
“I have to go.” You cut him off and swiftly left the kitchen.
You went back to your room to resume the pouting you had started earlier. You felt guilty about walking out on Peter but it had hurt you to know that a promise that had meant a lot to you didn’t even stay in his memory. You stared out the window and sulked as you thought yourself into a deep rut. It didn’t take long for Peter to start making noise in the kitchen, interrupting your thought spiral. You heard things falling out of cabinets followed by Peter swearing. He bumbled around for a while and slowly drove you crazy with all the noise he was making until you couldn’t take it anymore. Just when you were about to text him and tell him the knock it off, you heard the dulcet sounds of “The Dancing Queen” coming from downstairs. You groaned in frustration and got out of bed to go downstairs and see what was happening.
When you got to the living room, Peter was standing there in one of your dad’s suits that hugged him a little too tightly around his muscles. The room looked like it had been decorated by a child with poorly hung streamers, ripped up construction paper to act as confetti, and bunches of webs that Peter had tried to shape into stars and moons. He had dimmed the lights and put a single bowl of chips on the counter, which he proudly stood beside.
“What the hell is this?” You asked him.
“Will you go to prom with me?” He asked with a huge smile.
“No.” You said immediately. “Please kill yourself.”
“I will.” He promised. “After one dance.”
“I’m not dancing with you. I’m not doing any of this.” You told him and turned to leave. You heard a “pst” right before feeling a web hit your back. Before you knew it, Peter tugged on the web and sent you stumbling back into Peter’s arms. He caught you with ease and winked when you landed in his arms. You rolled your eyes at him but felt a smile tugged at your lips.
“Please? Just one dance? Then I’ll let you go and hate me for the rest of your life.” He pleaded as he stared into your eyes. He looked so desperate that you found yourself nodding before you knew what you were agreeing to. He smiled in excitement and twirled you around before slowly swaying to the beat. You begrudgingly sighed and wrapped your arms around his neck while his stayed in a respectable place on your hips. You could feel his eyes on you but you kept yours on the ceiling.
“You can look at me, you know.” He teased, making you begrudgingly look him in the eyes.
“Oh. I almost forgot.” He smiled and pulled something out of his pocket. You looked down and saw a few poorly drawn flowers webbed to a rubber band.
“Your corsage, my lady.” He said as he slipped it onto your wrist.
“This is so stupid.” You laughed but secretly loved the thought he put into everything.
“It’s about to get even more stupid. Wait here.” He asked and quickly ran into the kitchen. He returned with one of Morgan’s plastic tiaras with a big fake gem in the center.
“Every prom needs its queen.” He said as he placed the crown on your head. You made eye contact as he stepped forward to adjust it and you felt your breath catch in your throat from how close he was.
“You didn’t have to do this.” You said quietly.
“Yes I did. I owed you a prom experience. I’m sorry I didn’t take you the first time. And I’m sorry for laughing at you. You just caught me off guard. I have spent many nights thinking of all the things I could have done to make you hate me. I genuinely forgot about that promise. I had no idea this entire time that you hated me because of prom.” He said as the two of you started swaying to the music again. You felt a feeling rise up in your chest, a feeling you hadn’t felt for Peter in many years.
“It wasn’t just the prom.” You admitted before you could think about it.
“It wasn’t? What else did I do? Did I hotbox the elevator with you in it or something?” He asked. “I did that to Wanda once and now she’ll show up in my dreams sometimes and make me pee the bed.”
“That’s disgusting.” You said flatly. “But no. It wasn’t that.”
“Then what?” He wondered.
“It’s stupid. You’ll just laugh again.”
“No I won’t.” He assured you. “Probably. I’ll definitely try really hard not to.
“Come on. Please tell me.” He pleaded and gave your hip a gentle squeeze. “You have to tell me now or I’ll become so annoying so quickly. I’ll be worse than those people who try to describe SNL skits to you and keep explaining even when it’s clearly only funny if you’re watching it.”
“I can’t tell you. It’s dumb anyway. Forget I said anything.” You said and hoped he’d drop it.
“It can’t be that dumb if it stood between us all these years. What, did you have a crush on me or something?” He laughed through his question. You went quiet and Peters eyes went wide.
“Oh shit. Did you have a crush on me?” He asked in a soft voice. You looked down at the ground to avoid having to look him in the eyes now that you were caught.
“I don’t know.” You sighed. “You were my age and had these cool powers and muscles and unexpected sense of humor. I was homeschooled and had swiped to the end of Tinder. You were my only option.”
“Oh. I see. So you only liked me because I was the only choice?” He said through a laugh but it hurt him. You could sense in his voice that you had just hurt his feelings and for once, that wasn’t what you wanted.
“I mean, not the only choice.” You added. “Cap used to hang around a lot more and he’s not the worst looking. But he’s like 500 so I never really had a chance.”
“Why me, then?” He wondered. You finally looked in to his eyes and shrugged a little.
“Because you were kind.” You admitted. “You didn’t need to take on as much as what you did at such a young age but you refused to do the easy stuff. You used to drive my dad crazy with how for you begged for assignments. You were so determined to get out there and save people, it was almost obnoxious. You were never content getting back stolen bikes. You always wanted to protect people from the big things. Even when you were just a kid. I liked that about you. I still do.”
“Still?” He gulped. “Even now?”
Before you could respond, the slow music that was playing ended and “Munch” started to blast from Peter phone. He scrambled to change the song but the moment had already been ruined.
“Sorry about that. I don’t know who put that on my playlist.” He quickly lied.
“It was you.”
“It was me, yeah.” He admitted and hung his head in shame. You stopped dancing and slowly withdrew your arms from him, making his heart sink.
“This was really sweet. Thank you, Peter.” You said genuinely. “I should probably get to bed now. I just want this day to end.”
“But we haven’t frosted the cake yet. It’s still your birthday. You can’t go to bed without any cake.” He said in a desperate attempt to get you to stay.
“I don’t know. It’s late.”
“Come on. It’ll be fast. That’s one of my powers. Spider can frost cake really fast and so can I.” He said and rushed over to the cake. He held it up and gave you a lopsided smile, convincing you to stay.
“Fine. Let’s make it fast.” You agreed and walked over to him. He smiled at you joining him and got out the frosting. He handed you a spatula and you started to frost the cake.
“You don’t have to keep wearing that if you don’t want.” Peter chuckled and went to take your crown off. You quickly swatted his hand and adjusted your crown.
“Back off. It’s mine.” You said and stepped away from him. He chuckled again and you laughed too.
“I really do appreciate everything you did for me tonight. I hope I can make it up to you one day.” You told him.
“You can make it up to me right now if we clear off this counter top and-“
“No.” You cut him off.
“Worth a try.” He mumbled.
“Really, though. You cheered me up tonight and I didn’t think that was possible.”
“In a way, I’m glad your stupid friends cancelled on you. It gave us an opportunity to spend time together. And this was the least I could do for not taking you to my real prom. Which was total buns, by the way. I missed most of it because I was putting my dates dad in jail.”
“Well I’m glad that didn’t happen tonight.” You laughed softly.
“Me either. I wish I took you to the first one. We could have been friends this whole time if I had just remembered my promise.” He sighed.
“It’s fine. It was a long time ago. I’m done moping about it. I’m ready to eat this cake and be friends from now on.”
“I’m ready for that too.” He smiled at you. “Especially the part about us being friends. But also for this cake because it’s kinda giving me a boner from how good it smells.”
“It does smell really good. I can’t even blame your boner. But if that thing even looks at me you’re getting impromptu gender reassignment surgery with this spatula.”
“Ouch.” He chuckled and looked over at you. He didn’t stop looking at you until you felt his eyes on you.
“What?” You laughed shyly.
“I can’t believe you ever liked me. And that this whole time, I had no idea. I am so not cool enough for a girl like you to like.”
“Yeah, well. It wasn’t like I dropped any hints.”
“Maybe not. It just doesn’t feel real. I wouldn’t believe it even if you weren’t always mean to me. You reciprocating my feelings was not something I ever thought would happen.”
“Reciprocating? You liked me too?” You asked as your mouth went dry.
“Are you kidding? You’re my mentors insanely hot and totally off limits daughter. Of course I liked you. Not to mention you’re funny, smart, good with a screwdriver and the apparently my biggest supporter. Though you did it in secret. Make no mistake, birthday girl. I had the biggest crush on you for years. Even when you were being mean to me.”
“Oh. I didn’t know.” You said quietly. You had your back to him as you washed your hands but you could feel his eyes on you. You peaked over your shoulder and sure enough, Peter’s eyes were locked on you. You gulped and turned back around when you heard him walking over to you.
“You know, as mean as your insults were, they were always clever. And you always looked good saying them. How could I not fall for you?” He said as he came up behind you. He was close enough that you could smell his cologne, along with a scent that was just distinctly Peter, making your heart pound in your ears. You turned around and leaned against the counter as you looked into his eyes.
“Well how do you feel now?” You asked with unwavering eye contact.
“I feel like those feelings never left.” He admitted. You had never heard such confidence in his voice and it was just the thing to tip the scales back in his favor.
“Hm. Interesting.” You shrugged and turned back around. It was almost like you could hear the disappointment in the air once you had your back to him again. You decided not to torture him forever and give in to what you both wanted.
“Peter?” You asked and looked over your shoulder at him.
“Yeah?”
“Clear the countertop.”
Tag List 🏷️
@thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling
@whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings
@imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101
@peterparkoure
@justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr
@emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland
@sovereignparker @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @eridanuswave
@solarxmoonchild @canyouevencauseicant
@quaksonhehe @lovelessdagger
@thesuitelifeofafangirl @marshxx @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie
@maybemona
@alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom
@pandaxnienke
@officialsimppage @itsemohours
@tomholland85
@olixerwxxd @leilanixx
@whereismytelephone @so-very-asleep
@spideyspeaches @hihiweezing
@mathletemadison
@dhtomholland @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @prancerrparkerr
@hallecarey1 @adayasgeorgia @blackwidowisthebest @imawhoreforu
@ciarahollands
@nellabellaa @pinklxmonade @boogywoogywoogy
#peter parker x reader#peter parker x stark!daughter#peter parker x stark!reader#peter parker enemies to lovers#peter parker angst#peter parker fanfiction#peter parker x you#peter parker imagine#peter parker x y/n#tom holland x reader#tom holland x you#tom holland fluff#tom holland fanfiction#tom holland x y/n
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જ⁀➴ ♡🍨 content warning: smut, innocence corruption, masturbation, use of toys, oral (f!receiving), fingering, loss of virginity, sneaking around, getting caught, forbidden, small age gap (both characters are adults), pervy!matt, brotherbsf!matt, innocent!reader
જ⁀➴ ♡🍨 summary: your older brother is back in town for summer vacation, and he brings home his childhood best friend, matt sturniolo, who can't seem to keep his eyes off how much your body has changed since he's last seen you.
જ⁀➴ ♡🍨 this fic was requested/inspired by this ask! enjoy. (p.s. sorry i made matt so pervy in this. honestly idk what got into me. 🙈)
young god
You were in your room, listening to music, headphones in and volume on full blast while you sat on the edge of your bed, flipping through your playlist when some movement out of the corner of your left eye broke you out of your focus. You glanced up at your partially open door to see your older brother peeking through and tapping on the barrier to try to get your attention.
He was finally home for summer vacation from his second year of college. "Hey!" You jumped up, taking out your earbuds and throwing your arms around him in a big hug. "Hey, little sis. It's been a while," He greeted you, not having seen you since winter vacation earlier that year. Behind him was Matt Sturniolo, his childhood best friend who you hadn't seen in even longer.
"Hey, Matt," you said, your gaze traveling over towards your brother's best friend, who looked as attractive as ever. You'd always had an insatiable crush on him, and it didn't help that he had more facial hair, more tattoos, and a more chiseled jawline since the last time you'd seen each other.
He always hit like a drug, like a habit you couldn't kick, like a long-term addiction you couldn't shake. He flooded your system with cascading waves of dopamine whenever you looked at him and interacted with him. You craved him. However, you knew you couldn't ever pursue him.
Your brother had always warned you about him. "I know as you get older and start developing feelings for boys, you're gonna wanna start dating. But whoever you date, please don't date my friends, especially not Matt Sturniolo. I know he's my best friend, but the kid's bad news. He's only after one thing when it comes to girls, and he's off-limits to you," you recalled your brother saying to you.
After you'd started going through puberty, your brother had been hyperaware of the way your behavior suddenly changed towards his best friend. He'd started picking up on the way you'd been interacting differently with Matt, trying to get his attention more often and trying to find excuses to be in the same room as him, which terrified him.
You didn't know what he meant by that, only after one thing? You didn't know what that one thing was, but you secretly found yourself curious about it, and you wondered if it was something you could give to Matt. But you nodded at your brother, promising to stay away from Matt despite the way your stomach dropped when you looked at his friend.
"Hey, you're all grown up," Matt replied, bringing you back to the present. He subtly checked you out before pulling you into a hug, leaning down, hooking his arms around your waist, and picking you up. He let out a soft grunt as he lifted you into the air. He loved the way your body felt writhing against him as you giggled. "Put me down," you half-heartedly said, secretly loving the you felt in his arms.
Your brother shot him a look as he placed your feet back down on the hardwood floor beneath you. "I'm going off to college after the summer ends. Can you believe it?" You asked, swaying back and forth. "No, I can't. The boys at school are going to adore you," Matt said, nibbling on his lip and doing nothing to conceal the hungry look in his eye.
You didn't notice, but your protective older brother did.
"Hey, Matt and I are gonna go grab some dessert. He's gonna stay the night here. We'll be back," your brother said, wrapping up the conversation so he could go scold Matt in the car and remind him of the rules about hitting on his little sister. "Can I come?" You wondered, your eyes lighting up at a chance to be in Matt's presence once again. "I don't think that's a good idea," your brother started to say.
"Come on. Let her tag along so we can all catch up. I'll buy," Matt offered, looking back over at you with a smug smile. "Fine," your brother hesitantly said, leading the three of you out to the garage. You sat in the backseat in the middle and clicked your seltbelt closed.
On the way to get a sweet treat, Matt sat in the passenger seat with his head craned all the way around, his eyes lingering on your sweet treat between your thighs. You'd forgotten you were in a skirt and were innocently sitting with your legs splayed out while your pink panties peeked out from underneath the short fabric.
Your brother, who was focused on the road, was completely unaware of the show you were unknowingly putting on for Matt.
"So, what have you been up to since the last time I saw you? You got a boyfriend now?" Matt lustfully cooed, not that he cared if you did, while studying the outline of your puffy lips through your underwear. He bit down on his lip while his cock jumped in his jeans at the sight.
Your brother glared over at him, recognizing the tone of voice he was using on you. The same he'd use when trying to take girls to bed. "No. All the boys my age are so immature. I don't want to be with any of them," you said, making a face. "Oh really?" Matt replied in a smug voice.
You guys had arrived at your destination, and after you guys had all ordered your desserts to go, Matt was handing his card over to the employee and giving you sly looks while he undressed you in his mind.
The three of you piled back into the car to head home. Matt watched intently as you swirled your tongue around on your strawberry ice cream, imagining you were lapping up something else. "Thank you for the dessert, Matt. It's so good," you said, letting out a soft moan while you savored the taste. You weren't trying to tease him, but you were driving him wild.
"Oh, a little is dripping onto the sides there," Matt pointed at the melted, pink liquid leaking down the waffle cone, and you licked a long stripe up the dessert, cleaning it off with your tongue. "Almost got it. Give it one more good lick," he urged you.
"That's it. Good girl. You got it," Matt purred, licking hot fudge off his spoon as you dragged your tongue up the length of your cone once more. His eyes flashed back to your panties, and he noted a small damp spot on the front of the pink cotton. Blood rushed to your cheeks as Matt watched you.
Your brother reached over and slugged Matt in the arm, almost making him drop his hot fudge sundae. "Hey!" Matt exclaimed. "Hey, why'd you do that?" You innocently asked, secretly enjoying the way Matt was watching you and talking to you. "Don't worry about it. Matt's just being a perv," your brother scoffed.
You realized where Matt's eyes kept traveling back to when he wasn't watching you clean off your cone. Suddenly, you became self-conscious, slamming your legs shut and going back to eating your ice cream in silence while you looked out the window.
It's not so much that you minded Matt viewing you that way. It's that your brother was picking up on it. You avoided eye contact with both of them, worried that they had noticed how much you liked when Matt had called you good girl.
No one said a word the rest of the awkward car ride home. Later that night, the boys went into your brother's room, which was only ever occupied when he was home from school, to play video games.
You desperately needed to take care of the aching feeling between your legs you'd been wrestling with since Matt had picked you up earlier when you'd hugged him. You reached into your pink panties and started slowly rubbing yourself while you pictured Matt.
On the other side of the wall, Matt and your brother were tapping away on their controllers in front of their game. Your brother was quietly berating Matt for the way he was looking at you and talking to you earlier while they waited for the next round to render.
"Dude, that's my sister. Please don't try anything."
"Relax. I'm just having a little fun making her blush. She's really cute when she gets all worked up," Matt smugly responded. "Gross. Don't talk about her like that. If you lay a finger on her, our friendship is over. I'm serious," your brother said in a somber tone. How about in her? Matt silently wondered, smirking to himself.
"Seriously, I'll kill you if she loses it to you," he told Matt sternly, insinuating you were a virgin. "She hasn't lost it yet?" Matt's gazed off into the distance as a perverted scene unfurled in his mind. "Gross. Forget I told you that. Just stay away from her," your brother said, eating his words after he remembered Matt had a thing for innocence corruption.
"Don't worry," he smirked, holding up both hands up in a defensive position, despite the thoughts going on behind his eyes about stuffing you for the first time. "I'm going to bed after this game. I feel sick after watching you with her today," he grumbled, rolling his eyes.
Matt brushed off his friend's comments. It's not that Matt didn't value his friendship with your brother and love him dearly. It's just that he was weak to his carnal desires, unable to say no to them and unable to turn down temptation when it was taunting him. Especially when it was forbidden fruit.
After they finished their final round, they shut off the light and Matt laid down on the floor next to your brother's bed with a blanket and a pillow. Your brother had fallen asleep and started softly snoring, and right as Matt began to drift off, a low hum woke him up.
At first he thought he was getting a call, but when he peered down at a black screen after picking up his phone, he realized the vibrating was coming from somewhere else entirely. It was low, unwavering, and seemed to be coming from the other side of the wall, in the direction of your bedroom.
Matt stealthily got up and slipped out the room. When he stepped into the hallway, he realized a dim light was pouring out of your room and into the hallway through a crack in your door you'd left open a bit on accident. Matt approached your room and peered in through the sliver of space between the door and the frame.
There you were, bathed in warm candlelight, laying on top of your blanket naked, legs spread, and steadying a vibrator on your clit. Matt smirked to himself as he studied the way your thighs quivered while you used your toy.
Your lips were fixed in an o shape, your cheeks were pink, and your brows were pinched together. You shut your eyes and threw your head back as Matt's name slipped through your slew of whimpers.
He poked his head into your room, pushing the door open, and he slowly invited himself inside, approaching you to get a better look at you. He loved the way your slick folds glistened in the soft lighting, and the way your breasts started to subtly bounce as you started to violently shake.
You were right on the verge of greatness, slowly nearing a climactic ending, when your eyes fluttered open, and you saw Matt standing at the foot of your bed, staring down hungrily at your pussy. Immediately, you grew insecure about being watched, chasing away your orgasm.
"Matt!?" You said his name again, but this time in an aggravated whisper. "Poor thing. All alone in here. Why play with those toys when you could have the real thing?" Matt cooed, reaching for your pink vibrator. You handed it to him while it was still buzzing, and when he rested it back onto your clit, you let out a relieved sigh in response.
"Good girl. Just lay back and relax. Just here to help," he softly directed you. "Oh, Matt," you breathed out softly, lifting your hips up and grinding up against the vibrator in his grip. You glanced down at his smirk and how his eyes were fixed on the way you were clenching around nothing.
With his free hand, he took his middle finger and started teasing your folds with it. Your eyes widened as he sunk his finger into your drooling cunt. For a moment, you thought you must be dreaming. You let out a loud, satisfied sigh as he pushed it all the way in.
"You gotta be quiet, sweet thing. If your brother had any idea what I'm doing to you right now, he'd kill me."
You nodded at him and placed your palm over your mouth to muffle all the noise you couldn't keep yourself from making. "It's gotta be our little secret," he grinned at you as he added another finger, and you could feel the cold metal of his rings on the warm flesh of your thighs as he pumped them back and forth into your heat.
"You're so tight," he whispered, relishing in the way you clenched around his digits while they started to stretch you out. He shut off your toy for a moment, setting it off to the side, and repositioning himself.
He lowered his head between your legs while he fingered you, and he started to work his mouth on your special place, rolling his soft tongue over your clit and manipulating your folds with it. He closed his lips down around your bundle of nerves and gently hummed against it, recreating the feeling of the vibrator, only much better.
You arched your back up off the bed and rolled your hips forward, chasing the sensation of his tongue exploring places no one ever had before. "Like that, princess?" He asked you in between licks. "I love it," you whispered back.
Your eyes rolled back into your head, and your legs started to tremble as he continued stimulating you with his mouth and his fingers. "Good girl. You got this," he cooed while you got close. His fingers curled so perfectly, hitting all the right spots while you kept your hand held tightly over your mouth, desperately trying to avoid waking anyone up.
"That's it, pretty thing. Cum all over my fingers," Matt purred sweet nothings from between your legs while he felt you starting to tighten around his fingers. "Relax. Let it happen. Give in to how good it feels," he talked you through it while you shook beneath him, experiencing your very first orgasm given to you by another person.
You let out a few soft whimpers that you couldn't keep to yourself while you steadily throbbed around Matt's fingers that had slowed to a stop once you'd finished. He licked them clean, and he complimented your flavor as he started pulling his cock out of his sweatpants.
You couldn't see much in the low candlelight, but it was intimidating-looking. You could see the veins that texturized his thick shaft, and you could make out how swollen the mushroom-shaped head was.
"You ever had one of these in here, sweetheart?" Matt cooed, giving you a devilish smile, and introducing his bulbous tip to your slick hole. You bit your lip and shook your head from side to side, confirming your innocence to him.
"Oh, poor thing. Let's fix that. You're way too cute to not be getting fucked," Matt groaned as he pushed it in. You squelched around his thick rod, and he shoved it all the way in until it filled you entirely, the base of his dick resting against your entrance.
You felt your pussy expanding around him as he started rocking his hips back and forth, hitting a pleasant spot deep inside of you. You held your breath for a moment, still adjusting to the size difference between his fingers and his cock, and when you exhaled, a few stifled sounds came through. It hurt so good.
"Good girl. You're taking me so well. Can't believe this is your first dick," he praised you softly while he delivered a few harder thrusts. Soon, there was no pain at all, only pleasure.
He grabbed you by your waist, steadying himself while he started to speed up, getting caught up in how good your virgin hole felt wrapped around him. He watched as he pumped back and forth, fixating on the way you coated his length in your arousal.
"That's it. Take it like the good girl you are. I know you've been dreaming about this for years," he smirked at you, and you eagerly nodded in response. It was like a fantasy come true, losing your virginity to a forbidden man, your brother's best friend, while your brother slept soundly one room over.
The bed started gently rocking and making a soft rhythmic thump thump thump as the headboard made contact with the wall. But each of you were too caught up in how incredible the other person's body parts felt to care about the noises you were making.
Matt picked up your toy again, and after propping your right leg up onto his shoulder to get a deeper stroke, he turned on your vibrator once more and held it on your clit again, sending your eyes rolling back in your head and causing your jaw to fall open in sheer desire. You'd never experienced stimulation quite like this, and you didn't know how badly you craved it until now.
When your gaze shifted back to Matt, he was peering down at you with glossed over eyes and a pleasure-filled expression. You were both at the gates of heaven, about to immerse yourselves into a shared orgasm that neither one of you could fend off any longer.
"That's it. Be a good girl. Finish all over my forbidden cock," Matt whispered, all too aware of the dynamic that existed between you, mocking your brother's attempt to keep you two apart, that instead drove the two of you into each other's arms in a twisted self-fulfilling prophecy.
You both tensed up, Matt injecting you with his seed and filling you to the brim while you throbbed around him, milking him dry. You guys softly moaned in harmony, your bodies moving in unison. The sound of the bed thudding against the wall came to a stop, and the buzzing of your toy dropped off when Matt killed the power on it.
"Wow. Your pussy is so pretty pumped full of my cum," Matt whispered with an edge of thrill in his voice as he pulled his meat out of you and watched the way it leaked out of you while you continued clenching around negative space, recovering from the orgasm Matt had just given you.
He was still admiring the mess he made inside you that started to leak onto your sheets when a stern and infuriated voice boomed from behind him, sending chills down his spine and sending a sobering wave of fear through his system when he realized the two of you had been caught. It was your brother, watching from the door way.
taglist: @bsturnzmtt @sturniolo-girl @theyluvme-2315 @zariyam @brookiecookie-18 @maggot3647 @slut4chriztopher @strnlslvr @sleepysturniolo @lvrsturniolo @sofieeeeex @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @matts-myloverboy @witchofthehour @slutforsturniolosss @jaysturniolo @sturniolosweetheart33 @whoahoahoahoahoa @ilovechrissturniolosposts @smt-obsessed @sturnioloxlver @that1fangirll @hrtz4alex2211 @luvhsien @sp3ncerslvt @sturniolo-munch44 @jakewebberswifee @ssturniolooss @thenickgurl @sturniolo-fann @sst7niolo @babysturniolo @chestersturniolo @riowritesitall @camzeecorner @mattsturnixlo @annedebeijer @scorpioosworld @mattlover-00 @sweetlikesug4rvenom @m11rx @sturniolocharms @mickelodeon-2003 @sigmarizzler1 @chrislova @stellarsturns @lelesturniolo @sturniolodoll @ilovemattsturn @blahbel668
"I thought I fucking told you to stay away from her, Sturniolo."
part two here 🍨
#sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matthew sturniolo#matthew sturniolo smut#matthew bernard sturniolo#Spotify
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❝ I CAUGHT MY ROOMMATE MASTURBATING, I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT! ❞
cw. voyeurism + masturbation (f & m) + dubious consent + dry humping + blowjobs + fingering.
roommate! geto who one time catching his fellow roommate humping one of their owned plushie like a bitch in heat. door ajar, enough to take a peek of what you're currently doing. the plushie in between their legs, trapped and squeezed while you grind your pussy like your life depended on it.
roommate! geto listening to your sweet moans, blissfully low as you watched one of those stupid porno, the wire of your earphones tangled. your body trembling at the small sparks of pleasure coursing through your plush body.
roommate! geto who should be respectful as one should be to someone's privacy but he can't tear his eyes off from the way your body moves. covered in a thin sheen of sweat while soft whines leaves your mouth. trying to keep the moans at bay.
roommate! geto who watch his sweet, chubby roommate with eagle eyes. anticipating your every move and watch as your hips roll to meet the poor plushie who is being squeezed by your creamy thighs. your hand forming into a fist as you grip your sheets.
roommate! geto is rock hard from watching you pleasure yourself. never did he thought that you can be this alluring. his cock straining his pants uncomfortably. palming to relieve the pressure from how good you are grinding that plushie.
roommate! geto who wishes that his face is in the place of your plushie while he eats you outs. lick your folds and suck that cute, little clit of your. be suffocated by your creamy thighs around his head while you call his name.
roommate! geto grunting as he tugs on his pants, boxers following to jerk his cock to the rhythm of your grinding. beads of pre-cum leaking through his tip. eyes closing in bliss to the sound of your moans. he's not even scared that your gentleman of a roomie is jerking at your door.
roommate! geto who cums hard from the sound of your whining as you came. panting and huffing slightly as you rode out your orgasm. hugging your pillow tighter from the sparks of pleasure coursing through your core.
roommate! geto is quick to clean himself up and made a beeline to his room. it's like he didn't hear his roomie masturbating to some porno. he can't get out of his brain to the memory of you. your soft, plush body in all glory and the soft rolls of your back and the sound of your voice burned in his memory.
roommate! geto acts like nothing happened. acts like he didn't watch you pleasure yourself while you walked to your shared kitchen. fetching yourself a pitcher of water from the fridge and he never leave his sight on you. raking the expanse of your body. the plumpness of your stomach, the thickness of your thighs, the swell in your chest and lastly, that cute round face of yours that can get away with a crime. oh, how adorable you are and he wonder if you'll make the same when he's the one whose making you cum. again and again.
roommate! geto hears you talk through the phone with your friend. it's not like he's eavesdropping. it's an accident of course. the thin walls are to be blamed. you sound so worried about going to a date and learning you are not experienced and afraid that you might be able to please your date if you two can get down to business.
roommate! geto casually talking to you until cornering you to open up about the upcoming date. sharing a few tips to keep the guy interested in you, he says but in honesty he don't want you going on a date with a stranger.
roommate! geto listening to you who naively gives him details about your date and how worried you are since you have no idea what is about to go on and him casually suggesting he can teach you.
roommate! geto convincing you to do it and he got you now seated warmly in his lap.
roommate! geto who whispers you sweet nothings. telling you that you should not be nervous while his large hands are in your round stomach. groping and squeezing the malleable flesh like he can't believe how soft and squishy it was.
roommate! geto telling you to relax. it won't be good if you're moving that much and how would he be able to teach properly if you keep squirming and so he began to kiss your round shoulder to your neck and then to your cheeks. praising you how a good girl you are when he felt you relax and your back is comfortably pressed against his chest. totally leaning on him and suguru welcomes your added weight. he just can't wait to eat you.
roommate! geto is playing the hem of your panties before pulling it down. spreading your thick legs for his hand to cup your heat. he tells you that for to please someone you need to know what you want first. caressing the inside of your soft thighs before his fingers slowly rubs your folds like he was testing the waters and it earns him you. your breath hitching and your voice turning into soft mewls.
roommate! geto parting your folds with his fingers before dipping it to caress the squishy flesh of your labia. the pads of his fingers rubbing your clit which earned a gasp from you and he knows it's going to be good from the way you act. “does it feel good?” he murmurs. his lips muffled in the skin of your neck. his index finger poking your hole. “want me to stretch this tight hole of yours?” he hears you say yes. nodding in desperation and fuck did it feel so tight. his thick finger is only in and your hole doesn't feel like accepting it so he added another finger that got you squirming uncontrollably around him.
roommate! geto shuts your mewling with a kiss. shoving his tongue insider your mouth and began swirling the wet muscle while he added a third of his fingers to your pussy that is already weeping with slick. his fingers simultaneously pumping your insides while he kisses his cute roommate. drool seeping in the corners of your mouth. “you like my fingers inside you? much better than your cute plushies, is it?”
roommate! geto who never leaves his sight when you came undone to his fingers. coated with your delicious slick and he needs to eat that pussy of yours. he licks his fingers clean while you watch and you're so damn adorable. your flustered expression like you're one innocent roommate of his.
roommate! geto whose hard on is pressed against your ass. desperate in need of attention and he knows he's leaking and need to feel that soft cunt around his hard cock but he must let you feel the outline of his cock when you're humping him. your plushies won't be no good after this. he needs you to rely your pleasures to him.
roommate! geto turns your around to face him. your legs are besides his own. completely straddling him and your fat pussy is above his clothed erection. soaking his boxers with your slick. you feel him underneath you. throbbing and pulsing and you can feel the veins wrapped around his cock and the feeling of it shoots sparks of pleasure deep inside you.
roommate! geto looking so beautiful below you. his long jet black hair cascading down his lower back and his bangs is framing his sculpted face. a thin sheen of sweat in his forehead and the stray hairs of sticks to his forehead but he looks beautiful nonetheless but it was nothing compared to his roomie who is straddling him. staring at him with those cute doe eye of yours and effortlessly not-so-looking fucked but he knows he's getting nearer. his hold on your back firm and he can't help but to mesmerized at your fat cunt pressed in his clothed cock.
roommate! geto who guides you to move your hips as your grind on his cock. his large hands are in your plush waist while he builds the rhythm that is both good for you and him. he watches you through lidded eyes from how your mouth is slightly patter. slow moans escaping from them as your soaked folds are in his cock. your clit is rubbing to the outline of his cock and it makes you squeal when he forces you to grind harder.
roommate! geto who's in full force to take advantage of this. it's not even teaching you anymore. it can wait for a another day or the later night. is just it feels too good to have you above him. your puffy folds are weeping in his cock and it just makes his cock throb more from the delicious friction of your cunt. he can't also help that your skin is exposed and begging to be marked by him and so he did. he's putting hickeys while you cry. your fingers are threading his hair as you grab them. unconsciously pulling them as you grins on his cock.
roommate! geto cums hard and he's sure his boxers are stained with his cum. groaning from his release and pulls you to kiss him in which he does with passion. fervently kissing you like there's no tomorrow.
roommate! geto who helps you clean up after that. he can teach you about it later and telling you to rest after that. makes sure you're properly resting after that exhausting and it was worth every single second of it. he can just wait to fuck you and forget that stupid date but it was thanks to that he got you.
roommate! geto is now teaching you how to properly blow someone. that's why you're in between his muscled legs. kneeling between them as you stroke his cock like he instructed you two and now you're licking the tip of his cock. his hands holding both of your round cheeks. “breath through your nose, baby.” his voice gentle as he teaches you. you're taking his cock now and it makes your eyes prick with tears as the tip of his cock is now hitting the back of your throat.
roommate! getowhose moans are sexier and is music to your ears. that's why you're slowly bobbing your head to get more of his length. it doesn't help that he's thick that's why you have to take him in your mouth while your eyes burn with tears. you take of what's left of his length to your hands. squeezing it occasionally and feel it throb to your hands. you also fondle his balls that gets him riled up. it doesn't take long that he's shooting off his load deep in your throat. almost making you gag but you take it. swallowing his warm cum down your throat and opening your mouth that you swallow all of his load.
roommate! geto who says that you're ready and it's now up to you and he's sure that you'll be able to please your date. although he's jealous deep inside that it's not him and he's a little happy that you're pleased with your work.
roommate! geto anticipated the time were you're prepared for the date. he makes sure he's cleared of any errands that he needed to do. he can't have someone taking you that is not him. so he waited for you to get dolled up and the breath is knocked out of his lungs when he sees you all dressed up. looking so adorable and divine. the dress you picked up is highlighting all of your curves. it doesn't help that you asked him how you look and he loses control.
roommate! geto who easily picks you up despite your weight. ignoring your protests as he hoists you up in both of your shared kitchen marbled top. you're asking him what gotten into him and he's hungrily claiming you. his apologies late as he tears the dress off you. “forgive me, tell your date that you're not meeting him tonight. i just can't let him have you.”
roommate! geto who takes you that night. making you forget that you have the date as he got his head between your legs. slurping that delight that your pussy releases. his head being crushed by your thick thighs almost suffocating him but he doesn't care. he got you screaming that night as he squeezes and licks every stretch mark he can find. making you're worshipped and fucked by his cock.
roommate! geto takes you to his room and never letting you leave him until you're stuffed full of his cum and leaking in his bed in which he finds satisfying. no one can have you now that is not him.
roommate! geto pulls you closer to him as he cuddled into you. both of you are naked covered in his sheets while he kisses the top of your head. his hands are warmed by your love handles and just relishes on the softness of your body against his hard ones.
roommate! geto who stares at you while sleep peacefully. so beautiful and adorable in his eyes. his roommate. he knows now that he's fully smitten to you now and he hopes you feel the same or else he's just going to fuck you until you say you love him.
roommate! geto is contented. it's not always an accident when he catches you pleasuring yourself and is not a one time. he got you under him all the time and now, he won't never let his eyes take off on you.
#♱ ⋮ shai's works⸝⸝#chubby reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jjk x reader smut#jujutsu kaisen x chubby reader#jjk x chubby reader#x reader#anime smut#geto suguru x reader#geto suguru#geto smut#geto x reader#jujutsu kaisen#female reader#jjk x reader
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sticky web
<yunho x fem!reader>
when the Spiderman movie night with Yunho has its sticky complications because you're in a spider suit for him.
warnings: smut, pwp, suit fetish (kinda), reader is in a skin-tight venom suit, blow jobs, getting your lil suit dirty, unprotected sex, Spiderman movies and chill, Yunho fucking you through the suit, breeding kink
w/c: 2K
a/n: i'm posting this to appease my lovely readers (y'all) while I work thru your wonderful requests and my shitty writer's block )-: pls take this peace offering! <3 you know i love you guys sm 🩷 (also if you're wondering, spidey isn't my fav superhero but Dr Oct is one of my fav villains!!)
“You're really gonna get him fucked up when he sees you in this”, your friend teases, zipping your body con suit up. “His own girlfriend? Dressing up in a venom suit?”
You roll your eyes playfully. “It's a reminder that I'll be his little Symbiote.”
You look over to the mirror, feeling slightly subconscious at how much the suit is just hugging your curves despite how impressively breathable it was. And the reminder that you weren't wearing it out, at least for now, comforted you, mostly because, well, you weren't really wearing anything underneath this body hugging attire.
You had invited Yunho over for a Spiderman movie marathon to spend the Friday night, and the way his eyes lit up when you did? It's the cutest thing ever. You did your best to boost the ambiance too–dying the popcorn with red and blue sugar dyes, making spider web and spider-shaped cookies alongside some crystal candy that fit the theme for that extra crunch.
The doorbell rings, and you jump immediately to answer it when your phone reflects the text of Yunho mentioning that he's reached.
Unfortunately, you did severely underestimate the effect it had on Yunho, because the moment you opened the door, Yunho definitely got distracted, evident by the reddening of his ears when his gaze rests on your cute little costume.
You did tell Yunho to come in costume too, and he definitely did–in a red and blue spiderman patterned hoodie and red shorts.
“What? Don't you like my costume?” You poke for an answer, giving Yunho a full spin, missing the way Yunho swallowing hard, trying not to eye fuck you.
“You're… definitely dressed for the part”, Yunho manages out, his slender fingers covering his lips and nose, hoping you don't realise that he's growing as red as his hoodie.
He watches the material hugging your body tug and fit you just right, pulling at just the right places corresponding to your movements, and his feels his fingers twitch.
Yunho turns away, his attention on the assortment of food presented on the table.
“Red and blue popcorn?” He questions with a raised eyebrow as he settles onto the couch.
“It's just sugar dye”, you assure, sliding next to him, picking up a kernel, pressing it against his lips, your other hand mimicking the same action but to your own lips. Yunho smiles as he chews, the sweetness spreading all over his taste buds.
“What should we watch first? Should we start all the way from the first Spiderman movie?” You suggest flickering through all the Spiderman movies back to the first. Yunho nods in agreement, stuffing his mouth with a couple more colourful popcorn. Pressing play, you absentmindedly huddle yourself against your partner, not that he minded, and Yunho lets his hands curl around your waist.
Yunho is engrossed in the first thirty minutes of the movie, periodically munching on the snacks as the flick plays.
You're leaning lazily against his arm, letting Yunho feed you from time to time, mostly because you didn't want to get your costume dirty.
He blinks, wondering if he saw wrongly–your nipples poking through the fabric.
You're not wearing a bra underneath or anything?
Yunho shakes the thought off, trying to focus on the movie. Unfortunately his peripherals can't help but betray him, ever so slightly always trailing back to you.
You look up at him from below, and point to the popcorn.
“Yu, I want one more”, you request. Of course your boyfriend would feed you another one. When his fingers linger a little too long on your lips, you realise that his eyes aren't on the screen.
He's staring at you.
“Someone’s distracted”, you point out with a smirk.
You straddle his lap.
The movie is paused.
Yunho’s hands are running up your body, and even though it's separated by a layer of fabric, his touches give you goosebumps.
“I can't concentrate when you're looking like this”, he mutters to your lips, and you feel his palm grab a handful of your ass.
“Then concentrate on this”, you redirect, pulling him into a dizzy kiss–one that's just filled with moans and teasing. The both of you taste sweet, thanks to the popcorn.
You're rubbing against his erection while he dry fucks you, and you're both not lasting long.
You climb off him and sink to face his thick erection. Soft sighs as vibrations through the fabric of his shorts make Yunho shiver too. You palm his little problem, and hearing him groan while spreading his legs open is enough to make you clench your thighs.
Pulling his shorts down, your heartbeat accelerates at his fucking length–precum trickling down his bare cock, veins so thick and prominent.
Your tongue travels up his thick length, and your mind almost go dumb when you feel Yunho’s fingers tug against your scalp. You look up at him through your lashes, visually savouring the way he's getting undone with your lips around his cock, in his favourite costume. Yunho wants you to just choke you on his dick, maybe get his cum dripping down your tits on the tight fabric.
He only grows bigger in your mouth at the perverted thought and the way your eyes are slowly watering from his dick reaching to the back of your throat? He's not lasting long.
“Shit, that feels so fucking good”, Yunho groans, throwing his head back, pushing your head deeper, enjoying the sick sounds of you choking. Your mind is flooded with how good Yunho feels and fills your mouth, and it’s making you soak through your costume.
Yunho groans with every squeeze your throat gives him, pushing himself to hit the back of your throat.
“Gonna cum in your tight pretty mouth. You're gonna swallow it all, yeah?”
You nod quickly, trying to keep up the pace of him fucking your mouth. With a strained groan, his cock pulses in your mouth, warm cum seeping through, and it makes your mind so dizzy.
“Open”, he instructs, and you do, letting some of cum sleep past the corner of your lips and down your throat, then down onto your tits.
Yunho is getting harder.
Yunho grabs you and throws you over his shoulder, leaving you surprised, and he marches into your bedroom, then drops you onto your bed.
“Yunho-” you squeal when you feel his fingers press against the soaked fabric hiding your pussy.
“It's in the way, don't you think?” He asks rhetorically, eyeing the way the damp patch grows bigger when he massages it against your sticky folds, making you bite your lip. Of course you're not wearing any fucking underwear. Yunho should have realised.
Unfortunately, Yunho doesn't have the patience to take his sweet time to look for the zipper, so he does the more sensible thing–ripping a fucking hole at where your pussy is.
You blink in shock.
Shit, he really ripped a fucking hole down there.
You furrow your eyebrows.
“Yunho! This wasn't cheap!” You pout, closing your legs in protest with much futile effort, considering his arms are keeping them open.
He looks at you with indifference. “Then I'll get you a new one. Promise.”
Yunho grabs your thighs and drags you closer to him. His cum on his dick dribbles onto the suit, and Yunho smears it further, sliding his cock down, pressing it up against your creamy and puffy folds, with almost little to no friction.
“I was thinking of how far I can ruin this suit anyway.”
He swears he's fucking blessed–his gorgeous partner making such an adorable movie date night of his favourite character, dressing up for the occasion, and letting him fuck her dumb in this cute spider suit? He couldn't ask for more.
Your eyes slowly roll back when you feel Yunho’s cock push into your warm pussy, filling you up almost instantly. You hiss softly at the pressure, feeling your tight walls trying to accommodate him.
“So warm. Oh, fuck,” Yunho groans, already losing himself in your heat. He’s gotten a little more sensitive but he's gonna make it last as much as he can.
There's something so perverted that Yunho enjoys so much–fucking you fully clothed like this. He realises it gets him off so fast. He watches hungrily–the way your tits bounce under the suit when he thrusts deep into you, and how it's as if he's fucking you through the thin suit. His fingers trail up to your tits, and his thumb brushes against your bare nipples that harden under the fabric, throwing you into an additional layer of pleasure.
“Have I told you that you look fucking delicious in this? The Symbiote suits you so well.”
It's hard to formulate an answer when your boyfriend is fucking your brains out like this, but you know he doesn't mind the silence and the broken moans–it’s your answer.
A couple more heavy thrusts into you, the wet sounds accompanying your sobs before he instructs you to turn around for him.
You go on fours, and Yunho wastes little time to pin your head down onto the mattress by your neck before he fits in wet dick right into you again.
His free hand wanders across your ass, then he gives it a tight slap, making you squeal and tighten on him.
You're clawing the sheets, the pleasure filling you up and you can't concentrate on anything else other than Yunho’s cock filling in and out of you, hitting your sweet spots over and over again. You've surely soiled the costume to hell, but honestly, at least Yunho was making full use of it.
“So good”, you mutter, your pussy clamping down on the feeling of Yunho stretching you out with his fingers pressing the sides of your throat. You swear you were drooling.
“Is it?” Another heavy thrust.
Oh shit, you're not sure how much more you could handle. And it seems that Yunho is in a similar situation–his thrusts are getting heavier and sloppier. His mind is in the gutter now, especially when he's forced to watch your pussy leak sticky cream down your folds and stain your inner thighs, mixed with his cum.
“Cumming-” you cry, your legs shaking. “So good. Can't think-”
“Make a mess for me, babe”, Yunho chuckles, his palm stroking your ass, grabbing a handful before he fucks himself deep once more.
Your mind melts with your orgasm hitting you in waves, your pussy convulsing uncontrollably on his dick, your moans forming a melody for his ears, and it pushes him far enough to make a mess in you, thick and warm cum filling you up that you’re forced to take. You hear him curse and groan behind you, and you drop your hips onto the bed, his cock popping out of you, completely covered in a glisten of cum, some still seeping out from his cock head.
He tugs your ruined folds open, watching his thick cum leak out of your spent hole, dripping onto your thighs, soaked up by the suit. Yunho takes in the sight of you panting, with probably more than half of the suit soiled with fluids, and your pussy, other than your face, both uncovered and in a complete mess.
Fuck, he just might get hard again.
“Yunho, this isn't a good idea–fuck”, you whimper, completely losing yourself to him once more.
Yunho had washed you up a little after that, and he wouldn't let you take off the suit, at least, not yet. You thought finally, maybe you and him could actually watch a Spiderman movie or two, but when Yunho pulled you onto his lap, you knew that plan was out of the window considering that he got hard again, and had you seated right on his cock. None of you are focusing on the movies.
“Don't be mad at me, babe. I'm just making sure that I make full use of this movie night you're giving me”.
Another thrust into your spent pussy once more, and your thoughts leave your head.
He's certain of having you fucked and filled with his sticky web by the end of the first movie, that's for sure.
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#ateez#ateez scenarios#ateez fanfic#ateez imagines#ateez x reader#ateez smut#smut#ateez fic#kpop smut#yunho smut#ateez yunho#yunho ateez#yunho x reader#jeong yunho#yunho
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i have a request for roommate!spencer where he's just miserable that no one remembered his birthday at work but when he gets home his roommate just welcomes him with the most thoughtful gift and a warm hug PLEASE
thank you for requesting! <3 fem!reader
The lights are off. The air conditioning blows a shade too cold. Spencer shrugs off his jacket and acknowledges that, despite his awful, aching day, it’s nice to be home.
The living room is clean where it hadn’t been this morning when he left. If he had to clean it by himself, he’d die. It must’ve taken a good hour or longer, even the floor shines sparkling clean.
“Hey?” he asks into the open air, wondering where you are.
“Spencer!” you yelp from the kitchen, “Hey, what took you so long? It’s almost seven!”
He sighs to himself with a great dash of self-pity. “I know. Had to stay and finish something. You cleaned?”
“I had to! Quick, come in here, I need your help with something.”
He doesn’t want to help, he wants to lay down in bed. Spencer wonders how a normal person, a normal boy, would feel after a day like today. He wonders if Morgan would go home and lay in bed and cry. He wonders if it could ever be possible for everyone to forget Morgan’s birthday.
Spencer hangs his jacket on the rack and puts his bag by the shoes. He’s tempted to go to bed and pretend he hasn’t heard you, but he supposes he shouldn’t. He’d sort of been hoping you’d text him happy birthday, and but that never happened. He doesn’t think anybody in the world besides his mom knows what day it is today, and Spencer had to remind her, so.
“Spence,” you say, your smile of a calibre he’s never witnessed, standing in front of the kitchen island with your hands behind your back, “I hope you know I’ve been waiting two whole hours for you to get back. Actually, I’ve been waiting all day, but you can’t be blamed for working. Okay. Are you ready?”
“Am I ready? What did you want help with?”
You step to the side, grinning, the sleeves of your nice blouse like big, soft petals around your wrists and against your thighs. “Tada!” you say, guiding his attention to the silver platter on the countertop, a chocolate cake at centre stage and stuck with candles, flames aglow. “I rushed to light them when I heard the door,” you tell him, and he can hear your breathlessness now, your excitement for him evident. “A lot of candles, you’re getting old! Too old for chocolate sprinkle. I should’ve got you something sophisticated.”
“You got me a cake?”
“It’s your birthday,” you say happily. “Happy birthday, Spencer. I got you some presents, too, but the cake is the best, it’s from the Leaven. How fancy is that?”
“Will you sing?” he asks.
He doesn’t know why he asks. He’s mostly kidding, but you smile shyly and beckon him toward you. “I’ll sing. Come stand over here.”
You sing him happy birthday, and he blows out his candles, only ten candles altogether but enough to feel like a kid as the heat kisses his chin.
“Okay, and I got you this,” you say, finally pulling both hands from behind your back, seemingly eager to move the focus from your performance.
It’s a bundle about as thick as an average novel. He knows it’ll be books before he opens it, because you know him, and it’s in your nature to give him your everything.
He doesn’t look at them. He takes the package blindly and shoves it onto the counter, wrapping you in a hug so hard it makes your back click. “I’m sorry,” he says, but he doesn’t let go. You don’t make him. “Sorry, I just– I–” You’re the only one who remembered. “Thank you for the cake.”
You hug him not quite as hard, but tight. “Hey, it’s okay. I love you, you’re my best friend ever, you can pop me like a roll of dough any day of the week.” You might be exaggerating. Spencer doesn’t know. “But especially today, you know. You can have anything you want.”
Spencer should let go. Anything you want, you’d said. He hugs you until he’s sure you’re sick of him, your thumb pressing little circles into his shoulder, his arms tucked up under your armpits and around your back. “Thanks,” you murmur.
“What?” he asks. “For what?”
“For such a good hug. And being a great roommate. And for not complaining about the candles.”
“The candles are perfect.”
You lean back in his arms. “Thank you. Now what do you want first, cake or dinner?”
Spencer really wants another hug. “Um. Cake?”
“Good choice, handsome.”
His cheeks are pink by the time he gets a slice, but it’s the best birthday cake he’s ever had.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction
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I'm Happy Where The Devils Are
dbf!joel miller x younger!reader
summary: something something about forbidden things; you never learn, not until the heart you gave returns to you in shreds, bleeding out of love. what's left when you've given all of your heaven away? hell.
warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap (but this time it's sad not hot or both idk), smut, p. in v., virgin!reader, (forced??) creampie, fingering, riding, oral (f. receiving), corruption kink, reader has no daddy issues ++her dad is lovely nor mommy issues like me but a secret third thing, ANGST IN CAPITAL, situationship™, jumping very late to this trend or series IDK hope someone still lurks around this neighbourhood, joel has no kids and is unmarried cause i need him to be BITTER, in short this is very AU canon divergence at max coded
word count: 7,629 words
side note: IF U SAW IT POSTED BEFORE NO U DIDN'T IT WAS A HONEST MISTAKE (clicked publish instead of save draft) OKAY i just searched thru my top 2024 songs by spotify for some inspo and well!!!!!! my yet to be dilf RM's (or joon as i, his wife, loves to call him endearingly) song called heaven popped up! those are the vibes if u wanna give it a listen (PLS DO OKAY HE RANKED TOP KOREAN ALBUM THIS YEAR AND I SEE I'M GETTING OFF THE HOOK BUT HE DESERVES IT RAHH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH) and yk i said it's got the miller vibe going on: ANGST™ okay stopping my rambling and letting y'all enjoy (or suffer, idk anymore: as u see, i have a thing for sad complicated old man and suffering myself, because i could've choose any other idea but here goes user dilf-docs the angst whore choosing to suffer again lolz)
part: I / II
It was winter when he first touched you.
Joel Miller: a name you've learned to pronounce like it was spoken on a different language that only you knew.
You've known him for years, a familiar face that stands in corners and only laughs when spoken to, begrundingly, like it's rather a favor than something of his amusement. A guy who would drop by your house until you learned his name like he'd learn the games you'd force him to play. A friend of your dad, who moved back to town and has haunted your house since he stepped a foot inside, tainting the walls with his pine phantom.
Joel's a face you've seen age as much as he's seen you grow out of your pigtails and child-like wonder: and perhaps that's why it's wrong.
It is all so wrong: the way your gaze lingers a bit too long over his tired and bitter expresion, looking for those flickers of softeness that appear when your dad calls him. Old friend, filled with affection, and Joel can't deny the only man who hasn't left his side a smile that he hopes is enough to express what he can't; he's not good with words.
It is all so wrong: how the sheets stick to your body while you scream his name, the sound drowning against your pillow, your body leaking with the secret of an unspoken desire that gets harder to hide with each passing day.
But you can't help it: one day the feelings started to blossom and the admiration left for the crush to harvest until it fully bloomed in your chest. Its petals have asfixiated you ever since.
On winter, you returned to town, like a vice. You always came back for the holidays, a silver of hope that shouldn't exist. You felt it in the air, impregnated with a heartbreak so cutting, it was hard to remember when the winter carried the happiness it should've; all that's left was the cold, harsh feeling.
"Y/n!" your dad embraces your body on a hug as warm as a fireplace, "you're home"
He passes you around the people over, because that's how he always is: joyful, the house full with guests that don't stop at family, but feel as close as those of blood. She came! he loudly yet proudly announces your homecoming, adding small sprinkles of how's college and how smart his little girl is (a nickname he can't let go of, not caring if you were ten then and now just above twenty), not caring if your face is as red as christmas easters.
"You have to stop, dad" you plead with annoyance, but a small smile betrays you, "no one wants to hear how I'm top of my class again, for the millionth time"
"Well, it's my house" he jokes, "so they better get used to it" he then looks around the room, as if he's forgetting something, "ah, someone I must bore with your stories is missing..."
He talks to some more people around and you have to plaster a smile and salute faces you can't recognize, but as on cue, the door flings open, some people near the entrance greeting a face you've yet to see and recognize. Your father gets there first, the smile that spreads across his face making your stomach tie in knots.
"Joel's here!" he delivers with excitement, unaware of how your polite smile falters.
"Joel's here" you repeat, grief laced within your words. Grief of what? You don't know, but you do know a part of you dies the more you look at Joel Miller the way you're not supposed to.
"Come say hi" your father insists, happy in his ignorance, despite your paced walk and stiff demeanor.
And walking your way is him, the man who owns your heart without knowing.
His hair is still as soft as ever, more tints of grey sprinkled through it. Your fingers itch to trace it, so you keep your fists closed until the red nails dig into the tight white flesh. He has more wrinkles, pronounced when his brows furrow at the sight of you.
"I know she's grown a lot, but I hope you still recognize her" your dad says with affection, "isn't she beautiful, my y/n? Grown into a whole lady"
Your heart hammers against your chest as Joel looks you up and down, but there is no emotion across his face.
"It's only been a year, but sure, she has" as stoic as ever, but it's enough to make your nerves wreck. You can't believe how much a simple stare and a few words can get to you.
But you were always like this: weak. Back then, at kindergarten grounds, when making a friend seemed the hardest task. Now, at university, when you wonder if something is wrong with you that always makes you the last option to choose.
Maybe that's why Joel, a man so strong in appearance and character, never liked you: that all those memories were a dream, and he just did it as an extension of his affection for your dad.
You'll never forget that dinner last year, on these same days, when for the first time, both your parents left you alone with Joel, their guest for the night. There was a storm outside, and it was almost funny how the brash wind against the window mimicked your steady heart. You didn't know he was coming, but when you did, you put on your best dress on purpose and dusted a makeup palette a friend gave you, yet he didn't even look your way.
"Do you hate me, Joel?" you asked in a whispered breathe, the cold silence as answer.
It's contradictory, really: your love grows where his hate does. More like hate, it's a disregard so cruel, you can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with you, making you attached to an older man that only seems to have apathy for you. Because one thing is attraction, but other is the deep adoration where you'd die if he were to ask you.
It's your fault, really, for turning his life into folklore. You still remember sitting on your father's lap as he talked your ear off, full of stories that Joel, always by his side, would quietly laugh, the fireplace casting shadow over a man who seemed to overpower the darkness that now is palpable on his gaze. He'd said your dad was making him greater than he really was, pinching your cheeks as he called you sugar, reasoning you were so sweet.
But since last year, something shifted: he started avoiding you, like he resented you.
And you never understood why. So every season you've searched in his eyes for a sign, anything, that can make you go back to that speacial relationship you had, missing him like a little kid. It's been a year, and you feel, if possible, more at loss than before.
Back to now, it's almost midnight, and most of the guests have gone already. You've tried to look cool in the eyes of those who are still there, conversation flowing easily through your eggnog-tinted tongue, yet you know it's all pretend.
"Excuse me" you can't take it anymore, the air suffocating you in anxiousness.
"Where are you going?" questions your mom, stopping you in your tracks before going up the stairs.
You turn around and feign a smile, "Up to my room"
"Are you okay?" your dad asks with worry.
"Yeah, just tired" you lie with ease, and the miles you've driven back it up.
"If you need anything, just tell" she says.
When you fall against the mattress, all the weight settles in. You close your eyes and count to ten, breathing in and breathing out.
The door creaks, so you get up as you open your eyes. "Dad" you start, knowing he's all about giving you talks, "Not now, please-"
"M' not y'r daddy"
You shiver despite the closed windows.
"Joel!" you jump, straightening yourself, "did dad send you?"
He doesn't respond, looking at you through brown warm eyes that reveal nothing. The pit in your stomach grows along awkward silence.
"It's cold outside, isn't it?" you attempt to make conversation, hating the silence. But you fail: he's still here, and regardless of his indifference, he doesn't leave.
Maybe it's the bit of alcohol from before, but you're standing over until you get close to his resting figure against the doorframe, the darkness of your room leaving his face, now barely lit by the light outside in the hallway. Joel's so close you can hear his breathing, and it surprises you the way it drags like a cigarette.
You feel confident for the first time, defiant even, tired of it all, like if it was his fault you loved him. You're sick of him viewing you like a naive kid who knows no better.
"Joel, why are you here?"
The lavender gets under his nose, his skin on fire. He looks at you again, but this time, the brown in his eyes darkens.
"Joel...?" you ask on a shaky breath.
Before you can register, there's warmth against your cheek. His fingers graze your face with an unspoken yearning on his fingertips, as he gently grabs your chin.
Your breath hitches, hand traveling to feel his on your face, to see if it's real and not a dream.
"Joel, what are you doing?"
He backs up, like your touch burns. And then looks at you, as if you're a stone on his shoe: just like all those boys back at the city, who have rejected you. You feel small, like crying.
"M' sorry" and walks out of your room, his scent up your nose. His limping figure walks down the hallway that now looks longer. You don't realize how long you've stared until you hear your father ask downstairs where was he.
It's like he was never there.
It was spring when he first kissed you.
It's funny how you still came back home after such disastrous holidays.
Joel stayed for the rest of the holidays, including Christmas and New Years, and when he hugged you in the living room full of guests, you had to pretend his fingers hadn't hold you differently before. You both lied your way out, and when you left, for the first time, you felt relieved, which is why it took some convincing from your father to make you return for spring.
"You couldn't miss this" he insists, "it's the best time to visit the cabin"
And you have to agree: a small cabin by the lake that your parents bought when they first moved in to town, a place you spent most of your childhood. Your father taught you how to fish there, and ever since, even as you moved away for college, you came back to do so, a tradition kept intact despite the years.
Your mom looks at you from the rear view mirror. "He wouldn't stop talking about it, afraid you wouldn't join us this year" your dad hushes her, embarrased, "oh! Don't act like you didn't"
Truth is, you'd still come: you miss the green tickling your bare feet, the cold water, and the sun kissing your skin as you lay outside. It's a lie you don't wait all year to leave the cold city and embrace the blooming spring.
"I wouldn't miss it for anything, dad" you lay against the car's door, closing your eyes as you smile. He doesn't say anything, yet with the way your mom giggles, you know he probably got teary or something―your sappy old man.
The car stops, the cabin in front of you. You feel like crying, so many memories flooding you. Alright, you're being sappy just like your dad, but it's been a hard semester and you missed your family.
"Oh, I forgot to tell you something" he says as you get out. The small denim short rides up as you stretch, your legs numb from the trip.
"Yeah?"
A car honks from behind. You jump, loosing balance as you trip. "Ow!" you land on the grass, embarrasingly so.
"C'mere" you look up, the sun blinding his face. "Lemme help ya', sugar"
The nickname feels like a slap to your face, so you stay there stupid, body stiff as you raise up, Joel's face flooding your field of vision.
"That's what I forgot to tell you" your dad laughs, "or who"
You're not laughing. Joel Miller is here and it's ruines your trip.
"Well, you should've" you took his hand just for the show, because you know your mom is observant. If there was an electric rush, you must've imagined it, just as the way his hands fall to his sides, twitching.
Over the next couple of days, you try to ignore him as much as you can, pretending your spring hasn't changed: fishing, laying down, sun and baths.
"Hey"
Your sun glasses rest on your nose as you raise from your spot, laying on a towel on the grass as you sunbathe.
"What'd want, Joel?" your tone is icy, contrasting the warmer climate.
"M' going to the lake" he mumbles, then stays silent. It's almost as if he's waiting for you to answer.
"Okay?" you lay down again, "have fun"
"Y'r dad said you'd teach me" he raises a fishing row.
You groan in annoyance, getting up from your spot, "why doesn't he do it?"
"Said y'r the best" then coughs, "besides, I think him and your momma needed some time alone..."
You walk past, shoulder brushing against his. You've never been this childish before, but your anger fuels your emotions: rage when you see him and remember how the warm of his touch turned cold in seconds.
You arrive at the small dock, sitting on the rather hot wood. You don't flinch, trying to prove nothing. Joel sits next to you and makes a face at the burning sensation.
"What?" you mock, venom dripping from your tone, "can't handle some heat?"
He just scoffs, passing the row to you with a little more force than necessary.
Your petty revenge is splashing his shirt, damping the cotton with the lake's water.
"I'm sorry" you apologize, feigning an innocent tone, "wanted to freshen up"
"Thought ya could handle the heat" Joel grumbles.
Then he curses under his breath, taking the shirt off and tossing it to the side.
You take in now shirtless body, admiring the strong muscles, broad shoulders and sturdy back. He sits next to you, his belly pushing just above the seam of his shorts. You recoil, almost as if heat radiated off his body, your cheeks burning. Your hands tremble as you hold the row, and it takes every strength of you to not succumb to the dangerous view; it's all too tempting.
"Y'r gonna teach me or what?" he breaks your train of thoughts, his voice so low, as if you were a little animal he was trying not to scare off, "just gonna stare? Ain't y'r daddy taught ya some manners?"
A current shoots through your body and looses itself in the middle of your legs.
You divert your gaze, ashamed. "Don't know what you're talking about"
"Liar" but it's so soft, it sounds more like an observation than an accusation.
"Drop it, Joel" you focus on the water but you know your mind is elsewhere.
"Sugar..."
You feel like throwing up. Why after ignoring you is he calling you like he used to? When he was your favorite person in the world and you were his. He used to hold you close, but now acts like your touch is poisoned. Joel confuses you too much; he's got you feeling like screaming at the sky.
"I said drop it, Joel" you seethe, "you may be old, but you're not deaf"
"And you may be young" his fingers remove the glasses from your face, your wary eyes in exhibit, "but y'r too bold"
They stay there, on your face, his rough fingertips touching your soft sun-kissed skin.
You don't know why you do it, but you do.
You get up, your legs on his face. Until then, you don't realize how close you two were.
"I'm not bold, Joel" you whisper, "I'm scared"
And then you jump.
The world reduces to a blur, body as light as a feather. The sensation of falling is familiar and you don't know why.
It's barely a second, like a blink.
The cold water hitting your body brings you back to reality.
You can't see, it's all dark. But you feel free: you may be underwater, but over him.
You feel like you got the upper hand, but then the water starts moving and a huge splash next to you makes you look back.
Joel jumped too.
"What are you doing?!" you shout.
What are you doing to me? What do you want from me? What will you do to me?
"Takin' a splash" he answers, like it's obvious.
"You know what I meant" your tone is rather spiteful.
"And you had'a teach me" he's again in front of you, barely inches away, "so I guess we're both dissapointed we didn't get what we wanted"
There's water dripping from his hair, falling to his face. Water drops adorn his eyelashes, warm eyes deeper than ever, and you feel like drowning even as your body floats.
"And what do you want?" you challenge, the question implying only so much.
His lips clash into yours, hungry like a wolf. Your hands immediately grip his neck for support as his tongue forcefully gets inside of you, water droplets filling your taste buds. You gasp for air, all of your body pressed against his.
"That answer y'r question?" tone defiant, as if he's also a player on this game that's just started.
You just don't know yet how much you've got to loose.
It was summer when he became yours.
You'd never anticipated coming back home as much as now.
The lingering feeling of his scruffy beard against yours, back pressed against the walls of the shed at midnight while he devoured your lips in a hungry kiss has stayed with you since you left the cabin, trapped in the salt air. Now you're coming back for more, butterflies in the low of your belly as you remember his words:
"When y'get back, I'll have ya' a surprise"
You park at your house, searching for the keys under the rug, but they aren't there. You knock to no answer, so you call your dad and mom, only for both of the calls to go directly to voicemail. Yes, you came a day earlier than planned, but your parents are always home the week you arrive, so something must be going on.
Before you worry, a voice behind you says:
"Ain't nobody inside. Y'r folks went out"
It's Joel, looking as good as the last day you saw him. Just to taste him again, you were complaint on every single of his requirements, one being no contact. He claimed he didn't want to distract you back at college, and you didn't ask any more questions, afraid you'd press a wrong button and loose what felt like a dream.
"Really?" you walk out of your porch to where he is, resisting the urge to kiss him in the middle of your neighbourhood's street.
"Hmh" he nods, "said they ain't comin' back soon"
"They told you so?" you question, "why do I feel you had something to do with it?"
"Ain't do shit" he crosses his arms, the t-shirt sleeves making his arm muscles more prominent. He then coughs, "just recommended y'r dad a nice restaurant outside town. Maybe they'll be later than night, traffic is kinda packed at late"
You smile, "Joel?"
He doesn't look at you, "yes?"
You fail to suppress a giggle, "did you just get rid of my parents?"
"No" he answers, stern. "Now" he looks around, all doors closed, "why don't 'cha come inside? Sun is hittin' hard"
He's a terrible liar.
As soon as you enter his house, you can't believe you've never been there before, visits usually in your house.
It's exactly what you expected: a simple and sober decoration that hides a welcoming feeling somewhere. There's something else you notice: the lack of pictures.
"Make yourself comfortable" he says, coughing, looking akward all of a sudden. You want to laugh and coo his now insecure demeanor, shy in your present. If he seemed sure before, he doesn't anymore. "I''ll get ya' some water"
"Joel?" your voice comes out low, equalling a purr. His cock twitches in his pants at the way you call him.
"Yes?" he swallows, adam's apple bobbing.
"I hope you didn't bring me into your house just for a glass" then you sit on the couch, the small short you're wearing riding up your thighs. "Besides, I'm not thirsty"
He doesn't move, almost as if he's lost the ability to react; in a trance.
"What do you want?" voice deep, like he'd give you anything you ask.
"Have you forgot already, old man?" you quip. "You promised me something" even if your voice is steady, your fingers tremble when you start un-buttoning your shirt, "and I'm waiting for it"
If he could drool like a dog, he would. He slowly gets closer to you, until he's towering over your sitting figure.
"Ya' think it's funny tempting me like that, sugar? Playing with an old fuck as me like that?"
You whimper, resolve melting quickly. "N-no" you feel ashamed, hand ready to button yourself again until his hand grabs yours, stopping you from doing so.
"I'm sorry, sugar" he raises your body swiftly, making you stand up. "Actions have consequences, and I'm gonna teach ya' some"
When his lips land on yours, you feel you've reached heaven again. His mouth easily know your roads, traveling to every spot he can to deepen the kiss. He eats you out like he's starved, sweat starting to pool in your foreheads. He grabs you by the waist, pulling your closer if possible, your chest clashing against his pecs. His heart hammers against you, and that's all you hear aside your raggedy breaths and famished clashing. You grab his hair again, feeling the soft texture under your fingers. Joel moans against your lips when you bite his, something a friend told you to do, and it's proven to work.
"Where'd you learn that, huh?" you taste like strawberries, the proof on his now coated shiny lips and your disheveled gloss. His grip turns stronger, "thought ya' were innocent, little vixen"
"I still am" you avoid his gaze, and even if his hold falters, when you look again into his eyes, there's a flame burning in them. "But I want you to have it, Joel"
"Sugar-" starts, condescending.
"Don't" you immediatly cut him off. "I'm an adult, I know what I want"
"I just want ya' to be sure" but his cock is already hard, "don't want ya' to regret it"
"I could never regret you, Joel" you whisper.
He picks up your body, that despite the years, is still as strong as ever. He goes up the stairs, looking at you so lovingly, you feel like anything is possible.
Maybe this is how it feels like.
He softly drops you onto the mattress, that dips under your weight. You place yourself against the bed head, and when Joel gets in, it creaks.
"I'm gonna make ya' feel so good, sugar. I promise" he slurs, "Now be a good girl and open up for me"
Your part your legs, and he's taking down your shorts until your lingerine is exposed. With wandering fingers, he traces your inner thights, delighted at the way you squirm under his touch. He then travels to your pussy, the clothe the only thing separating him from your bare cunt.
"Has anyone eat ya' down here before?" he can smell your arousal, seeing the wet spot in the middle of your panties. He's salivating at the fresh meal. You deny, embarrased, but he seems content at that, "those dumb college boys haven't treated you right? Then lemme show y'how a real man's supposed to eat ya'"
He strips you off your panties, landing somewhere on the floor. You shudder at the sudden breeze on your bare core.
"Already drippin' for me?" he softly laughs, "we ain't even started"
He dives down, the rough of his facial hair sending tickles through your body. He gives a small lick at first, as if testing. When you let out a small moan, he feels invencible. He keeps the ministrations going, more cute sounds escaping your lips. He wants to hear more of them, addicted to the sound, heat pooling when he remembers he's the one causing them.
"Liking it, sugar?" he stops to ask, his voice provoking more vibrations that hit your core in a pleasant way.
"D-don't stop" you plead in the middle of a whine.
He eats you like a madman. Slurping and sloshing sounds bounce off the walls, your hands gripping his greying locks tightly as his face pushes further into your puffy heat, sucking on the sensitive clit. With his filthy mouth, he takes on of the lips on his mouth, robbing a loud groan out of you.
"Your pussy, God" his breath fans against it, "tastes so good, sugar, sweet like you" he licks more, making it get wetter. You didn't know you had that in you, nothing compared to when you tried to touch yourself back at your dorm, too ashamed to try anything else.
He groans against your heat, sending another wave of pleasure through your body.
He then gets up, showing you his thick digits like one shows something new to a baby, "guess what?" you have no idea, and your innocent doe eye'd gaze makes him squirm at the thought of being the first to touch untainted territories (in many ways).
"M' gonna finger you baby, okay? I promise's gonna feel good" Joel assures as he slowly inserts one of his fingers. You arch your back as you felt his fingers in your warm walls. He then puts another, thick fingers in and out of your pussy, your arousal dripping down his wrist. You squirm and whine, thighs shaking at the intensity of the pleasure he was giving you. There's a weird tension happening down there. "J-Joel" you pant, "I feel-"
"Let it go, sugar" he doesn't stop, "I'm here for ya' and y'r sweet cunt"
Liquid soon gushes out. "Fuck" he curses. You shy away and looking everywhere but his eyes.
"Feels good?" you nodded incoherently, "wanna feel even better?"
He gets rid of his pants, the silhoutte hard under his underwear. You gulp, afraid you might not take it.
"Joel..." you call his name, hesitant. Fuck, he's so horny he could care less if he's too big for your first.
"We'll go slow" he leans forward to kiss your forehead, "I know'll take it"
"O-okay" you're still not sure and a bit afraid, but you want him, so you surrender to him.
You feel something heavy go inside your folds. You look down to see his enormous cock sliding in between your tight walls, the skin glistening in your slick,round tip leaking with his precum.
"Tell me" he's soft on you, despite what you're doing, "I'll stop if it hurts"
It does. It burns: how your cunt tries to adapt to his girth, stretching in a painful but delicious feeling.
"N-no" your voice comes out strained, drops of blood falling into the sheets, "keep going"
"Such a greedy thing are ya'?" Joel laughs, truly laughs, the rich sound coming deep from his chest, "what would daddy say?"
"Shut up" you bite, holding onto his shoulders for stability. Please, don't let me fall.
Half way in, he pulls out before diving back in, helping you adjust to his size slowly. Your eyes are trained on the way his cock disappears inside your leaking pussy.
"Should'I keep goin'?" he asks.
"K-keep going" you say softly, and with that, he gently starts inching into you.
"Good girl" he coos.
His cock stretches out your virgin hole perfectly, like it was meant for him. He feels himself melting at the sight of you, something to worry about later. Not now, when your breath hitches as he fills you up. Your cunt fit snug around his length, like you were made for him.
Joel drops his head on your shoulder as he fully entered you, tired, his energy not as much as when he was young. Beads of summer sweat shimmer in your bodies, as not only that but the feeling of your pussy wrapped around his dick make you warm.
Joel takes in a moment to see the mess he's made of you: parted lips, shut eyes, nails digging on his neck. You were deep in pleasure: because of him. His dick twitches at that, and inside of you, it makes you whimper.
"M' gonna start movin', 'kay? Tell me if it's too much"
His weight presses over your body before starting to pull out and push back in. The thrusts start slow, soon picking up a rhytmic pace. Joel grips your hips with his rough big hands, to then start fucking into you.
"Mhm" you whine.
"Mhm, what? Use your words, sugar"
"I-it feels so good, Joel" despite the pain, despite the doubts, the haze is so envolving, he's made of you a moaning mess, drunk in pleasure; the feeling of him inside of you has you seeing stars.
"Y-you feel good too, baby" he pants, your pussy gushing at each thrust. He starts going harder, making you scream.
"Who you belong to, sugar?" his hot breath pours in your ear, "say it"
"You, Joel" you whisper the answer like a sacred oath, "Just you. I'm all yours"
Before you can say anything else, his dick touches a spot within you. Such a sweet spot, that has you moaning and feeling something unlike anything you've experienced before: it washes over you as you clamp down on him. You hear yourself cry, voice barely recognizable. Your vision goes blurry, then mind blank.
Joel groans with your pretty cries of pleasure, watching the way your cunt milks his cock, drooling with your juice.
"Such a nice girl for me, sugar. Did so well" he whispers, and a dark tought crosses his mind. He feels dirty, taking advantage of your age and naivety, your figure still half-gone, "think you want me, all of me?"
You nod, still out of your mind, and before you can process the real meaning of his words, hot stripes of his seed plaster your walls, coating each inch of you. Joel presses his lips into yours to shut your moans, kissing you hard.
"You good?" you can only nod, still in shock, the events dawning over you. "Don't worry, I'll buy ya' a pill before your folks come back"
The sun shines outside; there's still time. You just wonder how much.
It was autumn when he said I love you.
Yellow and orange leaves fall in the roads not taken as you've fallen for Joel.
Ever since summer, you've been waiting for the next time to see him: sleeping with him being the last thought, touching yourself to his voice on your mind, drawing hearts in the bylines of your notes. His figure, first a dream, then a fleeting hope and now a high you need to feel once again, because you can't let go of the way he fucked you, your cries of pleasure, how your walls stretched for him and the way he held you that afternoon and the next nights you escaped your house, crossing the street under the moonlight, hiding as a criminal.
But you'd do anything to feel him, his heart beating against your chest like it was yours to bear. You need to see him, so you're doing the most stupid choice of your life.
There's a pause after you knock, and then Joel opens his door.
"Sugar!" he looks surprised, then angry and finally scared. "The fuck you doin' here? Ain't you supposed to come 'til winter?"
"I couldn't wait" you whine in desperation, clinging onto him like a koala. You'd searched for something, anything, that smelled like him back at the city, but even his flannel shirt you'd stolen had started to loose its smell.
He looks around, "do your-"
"No" you pause, "they don't know I'm here"
He curses under his breath, realizing just how much you're deep in this. He's fucked: fucked because he'll comply even if he knows this has to stop.
"I have the keys" you pick the dirt under your nails, a nervous habit of yours, "for the cabin"
Joel remembers last spring, how he ate you inside the walls of the shed, wishing for more. More came the next summer, and now you're hear again, looking at with with that look he hates: like you'd burn the world just to keep him warm.
"How'd you do that?"
"Took them last summer" you reveal your plan all along, "just in case" yet you had already made your mind before leaving town.
"Damn it, sugar" he's speechless, "you're fucking crazy"
You giggle despite the uneasiness creeping up, "just for you, Joel"
He takes you to the cabin on his car, yours already there. And you'd walked to his house? You have indeed, lost your mind.
"What're we supposed to do?" he thinks out loud.
You groan, "I don't know, Joel. But I didn't drive miles just for you to stand there"
He can't lie and say he hasn't thought about you: your lashes, soft when closed; the way his room still smelled like you even after two weeks of your parting, or how the sun seemed to highlight all your perfect spots. He even thinks of you on his bathroom while he grabs his dick, fucking himself to the memorized song of your moans and uneven breaths as he pulled in and out of you.
"Then get inside" he's demanding, and your panties wet at the tone and the voice you missed so much, "it's cold out'ere"
As soon as you close the door, he's grabbing your face with force, that it almost seems like two people fighting, not two who missed each other.
"Joel" you mumble, breathless.
"Missed ya' so much, sugar" he confesses against your lips. A trail of saliva hangs; silver of hope. "It was killin' me"
"I missed you too, Joel" you deepen the kiss, tears threatening to spill from the corner of your eyes. "Couldn't stop thinking about you"
"Yeah?" he sits on the living room's couch, creaking under the sudden weight. "Tell me what that pretty head of yours was thinkin'"
"You" in a heartbeat, and you see his gaze go from dark to something else, lurking behind; you're scared to find out what it is.
Joel motions you to come over. You take your shoes and pants off, siting on his lap.
"Yeah-?" his voice falters, "tell me what"
"How our names sound together, how pretty you are..." you wander. "I also thought about you, all of you, inside of me"
"Watch that filthy mout of yours, sugar" he chastises but there's no anger behind his reprimand, "one summer bouncing on my cock an' y'r already a needy slut"
You whine at his words, rubbing yourself against his tight.
"D-don't" he undoes his belt and jeans, leaving only his underwear. Your desperate fingers pull them down, revealing his already pulsating cock, "don't tease this ole' man and just do the real thing"
He lets you use him, his hips rocking forwards despite his creaking bones, your swollen clit dragging against his pelvis. He sees your face, how you bite your lip as you test your needs, fucking yourself while you ride him. He lets you because: one, he's old and tired, and two, he wants to see you until he's memorized every small detail of your face. He lets you edge yourself close, crying as you feel it coming, but then he plants his feet onto the wooden floor, his boots making a hollow sound that echoes through the walls, the only other sound aside your cries, and thrusts his length up into you.
You yelp at the sudden sensation of his cock inside of you again.
"Think I'd let ya' have it all?" he mocks, "need to fuck y'r pretty pussy too; gotta have it for myself. Would ya' let me?"
You can't deny him anything.
"Yes, Joel" his hands immediatly grab your hips with a pressure so strong, you fear there'll soon be a bruise there. His cock buries fully within you. The air fills with a strong scent, just your moans and his grunts bouncing off the walls, soon warming up from the cold, the crease of his eyebrow pronounced as he realeases, coating your folds with his cum.
"God, sugar" he sounds a bit embarrased, "look at you, makin' me cum so fast"
But he's too enamoured by the sight of you on top of him, still riding him despite his quick orgasm, so he cups your face gently, the beads of sweat on your forehead falling into his hand. He feels more alive than ever, like his life has just started. Oh, he can picture it: coming home to the smell of your food, kissing the absence of the day off your mouth, to then bend you over the counter. He wants so much more, but he knows it can't be, yet, he's far too gone to even think about turning around.
You lift your hips until his cock slips out of you, using your fingers to bring it back. His cum clings to your folds as you sink back down, hips barely lifting you back up before you keep him buried inside of you. He loves watching you slide down his length, slipping in and out of your puffy cunt as his cock softens. It pushes his cum back into your cunt, sticky over your clit as it drips to your thighs.
You did bring a pill this time, so you don't care of the mess his thick flood of cum that dribbles out of you has made on your pussy and his clothes.
"Fuck" you let out, sex-filled mind speaking up. "Don't ever leave me again"
"I won't" he answers hastily, then regrets it. But you don't know that.
Instead, numbness takes over your body, the events of last hours finally draining your body. Sleep settles in, and you nest your head on Joel's sweaty shoulder.
"Lemme take you to bed" you hear his half-drowned voice, carrying your body to the main bedroom.
Joel Miller was always a mystery to you: a man who seemed impossible to break, his world hiding behind a permanent scowl. It felt like his heart was locked, seemingly unbreakable, but where he was rough, his edges had softened for you.
He places you over the bed softly, dipping next to you. Joel's strong arms embrace you, pulling your tired figure closer. His face hides in your neck and his soft belly pushes against the curve of your back, all while he presses a soft kiss to it.
"I think I love you" he murmurs to no one in particular.
But you hear.
It was winter again, when he broke your heart.
Before the holidays, you'd drop by every other weekend. Cancelling plans, waiting for his call. For his grave voice to say Come over, and you'd speed up the brakes with an urgency only he had taught you.
You'd find yourself in the cabin, loosing track of time that rushed like a bottle of wine. Kissing until your mouth was swollen and the only thing that satisfied your hunger was his lips, fucking until sunrise and his bones ached. He'd then offer a tired smile, and you'd sing a soft tune in front of the fireplace while cuddling.
They say home is where the heart is. And it felt like one.
It was during one of those escapades that you showed up with your newest adquisition: a small cursive J just above your thigh, hiding under the plaid of your skirt.
It was your first fight. He shouted at you like he had never before, scolding you like a father would to a naive kid, the hatred you hadn't seen since he touched you that night a year ago, resurfacing.
"We're loosing ourselves" his voice cracked, sounding defeated. But then he'd suck the skin around it until it turned red.
The back and forth became the only thing keeping you alive, the need for his touch as addictive and destructive as a drug.
Which is why Christmas hadn't felt this jolly since being a kid.
You're back, and as you hug your dad and mom, you scour the place for his face: the one you've grown to yearn and love.
Your dad exchanges a glance with your mother and then looks at you weirdly before answering.
"He isn't coming; I thought you knew"
You don't care about the future explanations or the calls of your name, storming off and crossing the street to his place.
"Joel!" you shout, knocking desperately, "open the door!"
When you don't get an answer, you search for the spare key hiding under a pot in the porch. As you make your way inside, you spot Joel sitting in front of the fireplace, his eyes lost in the fire.
"Joel" you softly call his name. At that, he snaps, standing up. His eyes glow with the flames, circling in doubt.
"Sugar?" like he didn't expect you to actually search him on his absence, "what'd doing here?"
"I could ask you the same" you laugh, sardonically. "Don't know how I'll explain running off like that, so thanks, by the way"
"M' sorry"
The words fall heavy in the air, suddenly thick. Something tells you he isn't apologizing exactly for that.
There's something like guilt and fear simmering in his eyes. You think about all those times in the cabin, spring and autumn, and you're reminded of those three words he's said and you haven't. The realization hits you, and you're quick to reach him, grabbing his hand.
"Joel?" you call again. "I- I need to tell you something"
"So do I" but he sounds reluctant, "you go first"
"I don't know what's happening" your lip quivers, eyes glossy. God, he feels terrible, "but I want you to know that I love you"
He gasps, like you've slapped him across the face.
"No" he starts, pushing you away. He lets go of your hand, and the sudden cold hits you.
"I thought I still had time..." his shoulders slump in defeat, "guess I'm wrong"
"What do you mean?" anger and sadness flood your words.
"You can't love me" the words cut through you, and you're sick.
Sick of your rusting wheels that only move when he tells you to. Because that force, the dominance, Joel Miller seems to carry over the rest of the people, doesn't cut as deep as it cuts through you.
It's almost done with a benevolent authority, like he knows of said power and doesn't want to abuse it.
So now he's ordering you to stop loving him, like this year has meant nothing. Nothing.
"Love, funny word" your words carry rage, "do you even know what that means?" you try to hold back the tears in vain, "you don't, yet you say them so freely, like they mean nothing to you" he makes a surprised face, and you savour the pain reflected on his face, alike of yours. "Yes, I heard you, Joel. Y-you made me the happiest girl on the planet, but now I realize you're so full of shit"
You turn around, trying not to see his face, because you know that the more you look at him, the more seconds you add and the harder it would be to erase the memories you'll have to burn.
"Did you ever love me, Joel?" it pains you to whisper out loud.
"I love you, sugar" his voice is horse, like something had cut through it. "That's why I'm doing this"
"Are you, Joel?" you sigh, "if you loved me, wouldn't you want me to stay?"
"This won't end well" it's his answer, trying to reason, "I don't want to hold you back"
Coward. Asshole. Idiot.
Your tone is icy like the storm outside, "but it's already ended"
He's about to speak but you cut him off.
You can only smile. "I've given you everything and you took it. I really thought you were giving me your everything, but I realize now, that I know what you are. You don't need to hide it" he looks at you like it is you who's hurted him the most, "you're hard to love, Joel. But I tried"
He'll regret it. You know and you want to: you want him to feel the empty days blur with one another, that he remembers late at night what you had and he ended, so when he feels alone, the ghost of your free love haunts him with the happy days and sweet taste of your lips. Just then, he'll understand what your year of loving really meant.
You leave his house empty, a knife twisted in your heart. He's the only one who's got the key, and you know it will be long until anyone else can break it open.
But it's okay: if being with Joel was heaven, you'll happily burn in the flames of what's left.
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