#life has been very busy and i really missed coming on here to hang out with everyone and create lil somethings 🥹

[woozi]

thank u for giving this lil blog lots of love even though i'm not as active as i used to be 🥰

[that-weird-thing-in-the-woods]

~{ So I was listening to “They’re only human” Death note the musical and this come out of the brain so here you gremlins go! }~

🌌🌙The Solar🌙🌌

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If someone asked danny what he thought his life in the future would look like he would have said something like “Of course I will be an astronaut!” Or something to that effect

But what he did not expect was for him to have a protective and strong ass husband [Who is phantom and now the Ghost king and isn’t that something] with a little toddler who is 2 ( Dani who will be called dawn in this ) and a little protective toddler who is 4 (Dan who is called dusk) who he loves more than anything

And gain a ghost family who adores him (but for the price of another) who put up with his husband and adore him as well as spoil his Sun and Moon rotten

Now let’s see how this become as it has shall we?

====================================

Danny was having a bad day, first he almost miss class again [due to a mix of being to exhausted to get up on his on from fighting ghosts all night and with jazz being busy with college hunting so she couldn’t wake him up and his parents don’t even know what time he wakes up at for school]

Second Dash wouldn’t leave him alone and it was becoming hard to keep himself..well not really himself but recently he’s been feeling this that for a better word are not his to feel like when a ghost hit a bit to hard to feels rage and protectiveness wash over him anyway back to this.

Third Sam and Tucker were both out for separate reasons for Sam her parents had some kind of rich people thing to do and dragged her with them and tucker with his family were going to visit some relatives so yeah Danny had no one to hang out with.

Third apparently they had a test in English that nobody told Danny about so he knows he is going to fail that and some other things but it would get to long if we bought all that up but you get the point

So when Danny gets back home and all he wants to do is go to his room change into phantom and hug/chill himself out who is anyone to deny him [Like with the feeling feels that weren’t his, yeah he got the habit after a very bad day where his parents shot him in the back of the leg and it hurt bad so he hugged himself and apparently it was the right thing to do because he started to feel better! Not physically no it still hurt like a motherfucker but emotionally yes so he started to do that when ever he felt he needed comfort]

So Danny goes to his bedroom [not noticing the tall orange figure following him up] and closes the door [it was left ajar just enough for someone to look in] and changes into phantom but he hears the door open the door and he turns to see his dad looking at him

And the next thing he knows is a red hot pain coming from his side and blacks out

=====================================

It has been a week a long and painful week since his parents found out

After Jack [NEVER dad never again] he brought him down to the lab and tied him to a table and did…unspeakable things to him…have been doing this to him for a week

After two days Danny heard two more wails and he recognized the voices it was dan and Dani! [his children] and they were hurting them, Danny tired to get their attention to him to get them away from them but the damage was done and Dani and Dan went into their cores due to the damage but thank the ancients the cores were basically a undamageable and none of their weapons work on them

So that turns all their attention on him and how that would be their downfall [and the whole dimensions with them]

On day five is when Danny’s human “half” gives out due to no food or water and with the torture Maddie and Jack have inflicted on him it wasn’t really a surprise but what was when phantom and Danny unfazed and phantom was pissed they hurt Danny [his husband] they hurt Dani and Dan [his children] they weren’t getting of easy

So well they were fighting the now fully ghost Danny gets out from his restraints and grabs Dani and dans cores and pushes them inside him to heal them by essentially force feeding their cores clean ecto

Than phantom grabs him and pulls him fast to the portal and the go through and as they do they destroy the portal [not knowing that in doing that they let out all the built-up ecto and that essentially bombs the dimension taking everything with it]

And now that brings Danny here after healing and when the children cores got enough ecto that they could come out [as well as speed running a very loving relationship that is still going very strong]

And now Danny is very happy with his life now or well after-life

=====================================

~{ Now onto the DCU part! }~

When Damian got into a fight with father he expected to be benched as Robin for a few days or a week what he was not expecting was for father to assigned him to go and watch a warehouse that is known for not having been used for anything for longer than Damien himself has been alive [it’s due to a cult that hangs around there not that the bats know that]

So now here is Damien tide up in surprisingly good rope that he can not break free from in the middle of a summoning circle and waiting for the other to get here while the cultist surrounds the circle and start to speak in a language Damian does not understand and Damian doesn’t believe anything will happen

Until the summoning circle turns into a portal and Damian falls through as the others get there to help him

The last thing Damien remembers before he passes out is someone yelling after a while Damian wakes up in a bed…? A very soft large bed with a lot of space and as Damien takes in his surroundings he hears a door opening and as he turns his head to look he sees a tall man…? Woman? Person let’s go with that

They walk over to him and start cooing? At him and  fretting over him [✨Mom instincts✨] and stuff a few days? [time is weird Damian has found] and the person has started to bring him with them as they walk around [Danny wants the little child to get some air and cleaner Ecto] and he has met the person’s children who are named dusk and dawn respectively and they have taken him as their older brother he believes this is due to the person [who he now knows his name is Solar, it’s not just everyone calls him that due to his space obsession] calls him his Stars much like how he calls this children his Sun and Moon

And with meeting Solar with Dawn and Dusk it is a guarantee that Damien was to meet Solar infamous husband Phantom [who he has heard about from the whispers of some of the working staff] and it goes pretty well [not that Phantom can do shit to this child his husband has already taken him in as his own] so he lets the child stay for how long as he likes

Meanwhile with the Batfam

The Batfam are freaking TF out about where Damian is and is he safe OMG-

=====================================

~{ And that’s all I can really do with the DCU part I am very tired if you can’t tell and now onto the details! }~

Now for Danny outfit I’m thinking something like this

With this over coat

And for hair/hair ornaments

And for phantom you know the drill blue-greenish skin, white hair and pointy ears

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~{ And that is about it! Sorry if the last part is weird I am very tired and sleepy anyway I hope you guys like this and see you gremlins later byeeee }~

[blurreynights]

I think the biggest culture shock I experienced in Finland so far is around friendships, as well as the area where I learned a lot of valuable things about myself. I might not be entirely right about this as I've only been here for a short time, but those are my main take-aways:

(under the cut to not block ur tags w my english rambling)

Trying to build real friendships takes time, much longer than in my home country. It is relatively easy to get in contact with Germans in my experience, especially if you live in a bigger city and speak the language, ESPECIALLY if you are a student and just starting out in a new phase of your life. You will naturally hang out frequently if you match well and spend a lot of time together. It might take a few meetings before people will invite u to their home, but generally there's not much distance as soon as the ice is broken.

Here I feel like people are much slower and more reluctant to open up. But that doesn't equal rejection, it's simply a slower process and you will still be able to tell the difference between being rejected and being on the path of friendship. In Germany, it's usually a lot more fast paced and there is a small window you have to catch to get into tight friendgroups. If you miss it, no chance of ever going back, vibe gone chance gone. Also people who might have found you interesting could lose interest if you wait for too long (meaning usually a month or so) to get back to them.

I actually realized that this way of socializing stresses me tf out. I much prefer a more laid back approach where you can get to know each other without time limitations (of course prerequisite is that you have the time). It is a much more sustainable, thoughtful and respectful approach to someone elses time. You're not treated as disposable, but rather as a person someone actively chooses to get to know.

Likewise, if people feel like they either do not vibe with you or if they already have a very busy social life or life in general, they will let you know and don't pretend to have time or like you. This was quite a new thing to me and felt a bit cold, but I actually really appreciate it now, as it's saving you from stressful, draining interpersonal connections. It also made me respect some people immensely, because they know their own self worth and boundaries quite well.

It made me reflect upon my tendency to be a people pleaser, and the strong yearning I have to treat my own relationships the same way as I've experienced it here. I've grown so tired of superficial connections that are placeholders for true, fulfilling friendships. I used to think being lonely was the worst thing in the world. It kind of is still awful, but what's worse is being surrounded by a bunch of people you don't really click with or can rely on, which leaves you lonely as well. I do think letting go of this is something that will slowly seep over into my own life, as it is so freeing.

I also intend on staying, or rather coming back when I've finished up all my business back in Germany (I am not really rooted to the city I live in). People who I've told about this recent development were very worried if I would be able to be happy in a country that is (generally) much more reserved when it comes to social interaction, as I need social interaction regularly. I don't really think it's that big of an issue, as I think I can balance out people's passive approach with my more active one in the beginning. I have a high social battery, so I'm fine with interacting with a few more people, before people get truly comfortable to hang out on the regular. Yet I also prefer quality interactions over a bunch of small talk meetups I don't care about. I also still have my core friends who I talk to regularly on the phone, and this has been a tradition for years already before I came here.

What I am immensely struggling with right now is trying to make sense of all the connections I made in the past 10 years. This is the 6th city I lived in the last decade, and the 8th move. All my relationships feel so spread out and scattered. I am holding on to some solely because those people were there when I moved somewhere new and I didn't have anyone else. Like back in school, when I was friends with people because they were the only ones there. It's all a bit confusing and painful right now, as my values and perspectives are changing. I think there are a lot of people moving from the friends to acquaintance category right now. I'm completely redefining friendships for me at the moment.

[raquellemonsta]

Heyy! Since you’re taking requests, can I request a tsukishima who gets baby fever after seeing reader take care/baby sit Yamaguchi’s child, idk it sounds so sweeeeet in my head😭😭🩷 no rush though, take care!

okay, this ask is like a year old. i'm SO sorry about that. i hope you enjoy, regardless. soft kei is best kei. thank you for the wonderful request <3

wc: 1365

~~~~~~~~~~~~

opening your eyes, you see that your car has finally made it to your destination. you and your husband of about a year are visiting a good friend of both of you, yamaguchi tadashi, at his home. speaking of your husband, you turn to see him looking at you expectantly, waiting to open his door until you're fully awake.

tsukishima kei, the man of your dreams and the love of your life. the two of you had met in university and hit it off relatively quickly. he was studying history and archaeology because he had a thing for dinosaurs (he very much still has a thing for dinosaurs), and you thought he was adorable despite his initial demeanor. the serious, jerkish persona was the most evident part of him, though after you got to know him you discovered many other facets to his personality that had you falling in love. you dated for a few years, and finally married last summer at a destination wedding attended by just your parents and chosen friends.

since then, you guys have been extremely busy finalizing information with your marriage, house, and your job. kei already had his job at the sekai city museum lined up directly out of college, but you weren't as lucky. after months of job searching and apartment hunting, everything has worked out. now you have the time to see your friends on a more regular basis again.

"ready?" he asks you. you only smile and nod at him before you open your door. walking up the steps to tadashi's front door, you aren't surprised when you knock and find the door is unlocked.

"come in guys!" you hear his friendly voice from another room, further in the house.

unfortunately, yachi is working. otherwise, your close friend would have without a doubt been waiting at the door for the two of you. she had already apologized profusely to you, via both texts and calls. you promised her you understood, not that you would ever be upset with her anyways.

kicking your outdoor shoes off and replacing them with slippers, kei takes your light jacket off of your shoulders and hangs it for you. your eyes are drawn to your beautiful husband (he 'hates' when you call him that), his face solemn though you know he's excited to see his best friend again. finally, the two of you make your way towards the direction of tadashi's voice.

"long time no see!" tadashi jokes, and you smile brightly.

"it's so nice to see you tadashi" you kindly smile. in his arms sits a little baby. "who's this little angel?" you ask. you've seen pictures of the little boy, both on social media and from tadashi and hitoka themselves. he's only a few months old, but he's grown very fast. you want to scream from how cute he looks when he randomly pops up on your feed.

"this is my son, haru", he replies. at the sound of his own name, haru opens his eyes to gaze up at his dad.

"he's so cute!" you compliment, "can i hold him?". your arms already extended before he answers, and you don't miss kei's playful scoff at your eagerness.

"excited much?" he snarks. you jokingly roll your eyes at him before you again gesture to yamaguchi.

"of course! and again, hitoka's really upset she couldn't be here. yajakudo always needs her at the most random times" he apologized. he carefully hands the baby over to you, and you make sure his head is supported. he's looking up at you with the most incredulous, wide eyes that remind you of his mother.

"it's no problem at all, that girl worries too much. now go away! have some well-deserved catchup time. haru's safe with me."

again, hearing his name makes haru look up at you and smile, two little teeth poking out already. you can't stop yourself from the audible 'aww' that comes out, coaxing him to smile even bigger.

you sit yourself down with the child on the sofa and leave the guys to talk in the attached kitchen. it's close enough for them to still see you (not that tadashi doesn't trust you, it's just his dad instincts. and kei just likes looking at you), but far enough where you can't hear them in case they discuss something more private.

your heart swells at the adorable baby's sweet (mostly) gummy smile. you can't keep the grin off your face, babbling incoherent nonsense that makes haru laugh. it's the perfect positive feedback loop of happiness. you and kei haven't really talked much about children yet, since the two of you had really only just gotten settled into your lives together. you knew you wanted them eventually, though. haru seemed to be trying to push that to sooner rather than later.

from the other room, kei is trying his best to keep himself composed. he can barely focus on whatever tadashi is telling him about, eyes instead trained on you. his beautiful wife (you love when he calls you that), looking like a natural is almost too much. he hadn't considered the two of you having children just yet, (you'd only just found an apartment after all), though seeing you right now had him rethinking everything.

"you want one?" tadashi chuckles. he'd been caught.

kei lets out a signature, unconscious 'tch', but his best friend can see right through him. finally, he tears his eyes away from you to look at his friend. he certainly doesn't catch himself looking over at you every once in a while after that.

you only get up once haru has been asleep in your arms for a few minutes. carefully handing him back to tadashi, you quietly thank him and promise to visit again soon. he bids the both of you goodbye, offering kei a wink and goofy gesture. your husband rolls his eyes at this, heading over to the car where you're already waiting.

once you're both in, he doesn't start the car. very unusual for him, since tsukishima kei typically loves getting away from social events as quickly as possible. you turn to face him, trying to gauge if something's wrong. you're sure he can feel your eyes on him, even if he's blind as a bat.

he doesn't look at you, and doesn't even break from his usual monotone:

"let's have a baby"

"WHAT?"

you're suddenly woken up in the middle of the night to loud wails coming from another room.

somewhat reluctantly, you push up onto your elbows before stepping out of bed and onto the cold hardwood floor. a chill goes up your spine from the contact, but you can still hear the shrill noise from across the hall, so you put your slippers on and make your way towards the source of the noise (neglecting to notice the other half of your bed is already empty).

the light yellow room would be almost entirely dark, if not for the bright full moon shining through the window (and the moon nightlight, too). it is now peacefully quiet, with the noise of a small fan in the corner being the only sound you can register at first.

unsurprisingly, your husband is already there, holding your baby girl close to him. kei always seems to beat you to your daughter's room. he's whispering something you can't quite hear to her. even though she's mere months old and doesn't understand the meaning behind his words, she always loves to hear his voice (something the two of you have in common). her eyes beginning to close again, your heart melts at this little life the two of you have created.

looking up to kei's face, his eyes are bright despite being woken up at 2am. your husband has never been one to broadcast his positive emotions, but you know inside he's happy. your arm finds its way around his back, and his eyes switch down to you.

"was it worth it?" you ask him lightheartedly, whispering.

kei looks out the window, at the endless expanse of sky. he's held down by the warmth of his daughter and wife, his two favorite girls in the entire world. he doesn't know how he got so lucky, but in this moment there's nowhere and no one else he'd rather be.

his mouth turns upward, genuine and true.

[dearharriet]

Whatever; Steve Harrington 🌓

summary: they say you’ll meet every person in your life twice. the second time you meet steve, you’re in college, and he’s very different from what you remember.

word count: 3.2K

warnings: fem!r, mentions + content of previous bullying, ex-bully!steve, alcohol consumption, some unresolved emotions, angst, hurt/comfort

a/n: i swear im alive i’m just stupidly busy. hope y’all like this one xxx

You circled back to Steve so quickly that a lick of embarrassment flamed at your cheeks, but really, you couldn’t have stopped it. His presence was fascinating, and like a passerby can’t look away from a car accident, you couldn’t resist inspecting Steve.

The house was very dark and humid, crowded with people that went to your university, and people who didn’t. Steve, for example, who had appeared—now for a second time—seemingly out of nowhere. Two weeks ago you’d spotted him at a party across town that a scene band threw, but he’d disappeared before you could talk to him. Tonight, he wasn’t so lucky.

To your relief, he received your sudden presence very gracefully, almost sheepishly. He was bowing his head and his broad shoulders shrunk together carefully. You wanted to say something very bold, something to grab his attention like fancy meeting you here, but the totality of your unfamiliarity made you hesitate.

“Where’ve you been?” you shouted instead, hugging your chest to feign casualness. It sounded, you realized, like you were inquiring as to where he’d been five minutes ago, not indefinitely post-graduation. Steve didn’t seem to mind.

“Hawkins,” he replied, matter-of-fact. “You?”

“Hawkins?” you repeated, ignoring his courtesy. “That’s not like you.” In truth, you probably knew very little about what would be like him and what would not, so you tacked on, “Not to be presumptuous or anything, sorry.”

In school, you and Steve saw very much of each other yet spoke next to never. In the spring of your sophomore year, Tommy Hagan’s father made him walk about the neighborhood and offer to mow lawns for money—something about growing hair on his chest, forming a sense of responsibility—and your mother had just broken her wrist, so she gave him a five dollar bill every Saturday for three months to help out. Tommy was awful at it, and he loathed you, and when you returned to school in September he’d dragged Carol and Steve with him into his loathing.

One day, you couldn’t recall what date—or even what month—but you remembered the three of them had come to find you after classes were done after you’d stayed late. You missed a question on some test, or there was something about a project, whatever. You knew it was late because the halls were empty, and your recollection of that relied heavily on the memory of Carol’s chilling laugh echoing down them, which you never forgot.

“God, Tommy, you’re sadistic.”

They prowled closer, just around the bend. Tommy and Carol were chortling and you could imagine them hanging all over each other the way that they often did. Steve cut in abrasively, something frenetic in his tone.

“I’m telling you, she’s not here, man.”

Steve’s voice bounced down the corridor and sounded back, like radar pinging around and around, detecting movement.

“Relax, Harrington, what’s the rush?”

“Rachel’s waitin’ on me, that’s what,” Steve replied. “And I still gotta drop you two assholes off.”

“Your gal-pal can wait, Steve,” Carol sneered, and you thought her voice was edged with something sharper than exasperation. “Besides, this’ll be fun.”

They turned the corner, and you realized then that it was likely you they were looking for, and it was suddenly too late to turn and hide. You froze, bag heavy on your shoulder and damp starting to form on your brow.

“Ah-ha! Just the girl we wanted to see,” Tommy sang, his voice already lilting meanly. You took a step back, wondering if they’d really chase you if you bolted. Carol had heeled boots on, and you were certain Tommy and Steve wouldn’t hunt down a girl no matter how twisted they were. A guy, sure, but you?

It didn’t matter, because you didn’t run, which you could only blame on yourself and your tendency to petrify under pressure. Anything you chose seemed the worst option, which made the logical solution to do nothing.

“She looks about ready to run,” Carol peered as they came closer, which was very astute for her, all things considered.

“Yeah, maybe.” Tommy grinned. “You wanna play, goodie-two-shoes? Me ‘n Steve’ll give you a head start.”

In retrospect, the roles of Tommy and Carol and Steve, and even you, are played by their fully grown versions. Of course you all looked very young, sounded very young—being fifteen at the time—but it all comes back as if it happened yesterday. It’s warped by everything that happened after.

“Yeah, why don’t you just get it over with, save us all a little time?” Steve picked, his expression almost bored.

You pressed your lips together. Carol stepped behind you, prodding at your bag, and you recoiled, backing closer to the lockers.

“Nah, she’s too chicken-shit,” she hissed, and then ripped your bag from your arms. When you lunged for her, Tommy pushed you back into the metal wall of lockers, and your shoulder blade landed hard on a dial-lock.

“Jesus H Christ, Tommy,” Steve laughed awkwardly, “could you have pushed her any harder?”

“Whatever, man,” Tommy waved him off, watching as Carol dug through your satchel. “You’re soft.”

Steve’s features tightened then, all of a sudden like a switch had been flipped. He took his hand out of his hair and strode over to Carol, taking your bag and emptying its contents onto the linoleum. Notebooks and pens, highlighters and, embarrassingly, a heap of pads, all washed over the floor. Carol had your journal in her hands and Steve took that too, discarding it with everything else.

“I’m fuckin’ tired of this shit,” he muttered, “let’s go.”

“Boo,” Carol complained, “what a wet blanket.”

“Yeah, why don’t you stay here with the teachers’ pet,” Tommy gibed, gesturing at you, “since you both love being L-A-M-E.”

He spelled the word out, holding a backwards L on his forehead that Carol copied.

“Yeah, and who’s gonna drive you home, Tommy?” Steve challenged. Tommy clenched his jaw, rolling his eyes petulantly. Carol’s hip popped as she dropped her hand, lips smacking. “That's what I thought.”

Steve brushed past them then, properly regal and entitled, and they followed him begrudgingly, swapping resentful glances until you couldn’t see them anymore.

In the minutes it took to gather your things back into your bag, you couldn’t resist the cloudy thought that Steve dumping your bag felt like a mercy. In the company of many rabider dogs, his offense was almost magnanimous, and, despite it being your things, felt more targeted at Tommy and Carol than at you. On your way home you decided that that was stupid, and that you were likely feeding into a fantasy that would eventually hurt you.

It wasn’t until after graduation that you realized they were bullying you. At the time it obviously hadn’t felt friendly, but you’d been so fictile then that you assumed most of the blame. When your mind changed, the word bullying alone felt too childish to bear, so you decided it was fine and that you were over it.

Standing before you at the party, Steve was folded in on himself. The memory juxtaposed so coarsely against how he looked now.

“Not like me?” he repeated.

“I just mean,” you continued, “I would’ve thought you’d go to school. Here in Chicago, maybe. I don't know. Indi, at the least.”

He shook his head, cradling his damp beer can closer.

“Yeah, well, I'm not smart like you,” he answered. “I didn’t really get accepted anywhere.”

Steve’s cheeks pinked with embarrassment, but he didn’t look all that dejected. You were sure that was the nicest thing he’d ever said to you, and the added element of self-depreciation threw you off-kilter.

“You still talk with Carol and Tommy and stuff?” It wasn’t much of a question, but Steve looked profoundly confused.

“What? No, I um—“ He licked his lips, looking down. “They ditched me when Hargrove came into town. You don’t remember?”

“Oh,” you said. “No, I must’ve missed that.”

“Yeah, that’s uh. S’ probably for the best. You shouldn’t have been caught up with us anyways.” It sounded like an apology, though not direct enough for you to accept in any way.

“Well it’s not like I never saw Tommy H. and Carol again,” you said, admittedly sour. “I figured you were off with Nancy or whatever. Where is she anyways?”

“Nancy?” You nodded. Shrugging, Steve said, “I wouldn’t know. We broke up in 1984.”

“Oh,” you jolted , “sorry about that.”

“Nah, don’t be.” He looked very sorry about it himself, like he was still wishing it away.

“Well, I am. I always thought you two would get married or something. She seemed like she knew how to keep you in line.”

Steve smiled softly, vaguely.

“Yeah, Nancy’s like that.”

His sentence ended there and didn’t pick back up, and you felt terribly anxious about what to say next. As often as you denied it, you did want to see people from school again, if only to show them they didn’t win. You wanted to happen upon Steve The Hair Harrington, or Tommy H. or Carol Perkins or anyone at all just to affirm that, yes, you were doing significantly better than they expected you to. You wore shoes with heels and makeup and you were just like them, only you could writhe in shameless glory because you were never a prick.

“So what do you do? No school?”

Steve leaned closer then, apprehensive as he brought his mouth to your ear.

“D’you wanna talk outside?” He asked, and then pulled back to gauge your expression. “I can’t hear very well,” he explained, some level of shame coloring him. You nodded tolerantly, following him out to the porch.

It was clear and cold in the Chicago suburbs, like a freshly opened bottle of coke, and you could see Orion’s Belt. You had on a white leather jacket that kept you just warm enough.

“You seem to like it better here,” Steve observed. Your earlier question stood forgotten from the journey outside.

“In a way,” you agreed.

“People are nicer?”

You pinched your brows thoughtfully.

“I wouldn’t say nicer, no.” Fiddling with your jewelry, you looked at the sky. “People have been rude to me here before, but it’s…it isn’t like Hawkins.” You swallowed a freezing breath, wondering if Steve was really standing next to you. “I can leave at any time if it gets to be too much. Or, like, tell them to fuck off if I wanted to. In high school I just had to sit there and take it, and then come back the next day for more.”

Blowing out a stiff laugh, you looked back to Steve. His eyes were downcast, face crumpled, and it looked like he would eat his own mouth before he said a word in response. It was painfully silent, so silent that the wind and your racing heart played a spoilt song together at Steve’s inattentive audience.

Your face felt warm with humiliation. Conversation had grown on you, or so you thought, enough that you wouldn’t become carried away into overzealous speeches to people who didn’t care. You cleared your throat uncomfortably, frowning.

“Do you like Chicago?” You asked Steve, and it turned brittle in the air, like a wisp of ash from a fire.

“I’m so sorry,” his aggrieved response came, and it carved your chest open to hear, in a way. It was something you imagined, a moment you craved, a fantasy you knew would never occur. Now that it had, you felt a million miles away, like he’d said some magic word and hypnotized you, stealing your present mind and leaving you cavernous and vulnerable.

“It’s really okay, Steve,” you said hoarsely. “We were kids, and you were as stuck as I was.”

“I was not,” he sternly denied.

“Sure you were,” you insisted, “it was eat or be eaten. I can’t blame you for not wanting to be picked on.”

“Because I would have died from being unliked,” he retorted sarcastically. You gave him a look as if to say that’s not fair, but you knew he was right. It would have been a different kind of unlike for him. If he’d forfeited his social standing, all of the cruelty and indifference he got would have been directly his decision, and his courage would have been gratifying enough to sustain him.

“Well,” you stammered persistently, “I still think you’re okay. I forgive you.”

“Look, I’m—“ Steve huffed, scrubbing at his hair anxiously. “I’m not trying to fish for compliments. Really. I just have this terrible feeling that you convinced yourself that it’s okay, what all happened in school. But it’s not okay. It’s not.”

He looked into your eyes hotly, a wild turn to his features, and you felt oddly nauseous. You looked at your shoes to avoid his stare, slim heeled boots that all the pretty girls wore in school, and you wondered how you’d feel about those girls if you’d never slipped them on, never had a guy take you home because you looked so good in them.

“What do you want me to do, then?” you asked.

Steve was silent for a moment.

“Whatever you feel,” he replied, “what I want is besides the point.”

“Not to me,” you mumbled, and then regretted it instantly. You pulled your jacket tight around you and shivered, said: “I don’t know what to do.”

A tear tracked hot and shameful down your cheek, dancing with the porch light and the stars and Steve’s eyes. You felt like the whole world was watching you flounder and choke like a fish on a dock. You sucked in, and air stole down your throat in three distinct parts, stuttering and painful.

Steve reached for you then, taking your arm into his grip and crushing you to his chest. Through teary eyes you could spy into the house where the party still thundered. It looked shockingly vibrant and warm inside, a world away from your moment with Steve on the frigid veranda. He was holding your head gently and rubbing at your back, and you could only think of how much you’d been craving this. How you’d yearned over intellectual conversations and counseling sessions for something as real as this moment, here, with Steve. He knew you better than anyone inside, anyone in Chicago, even, and you could not fathom how that had happened.

Pressing into him, you sniffled pitifully and hid your face.

“Sorry for crying,” you said, “I really didn’t want to.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Steve said, for the second time that night. You liked the way he said it, with a soft sternness that left no room for argument. He even went on further to say: “It’s okay if you want to cry some more.”

You rubbed his sleek jacket between your fingers and looked at him.

“You won’t tell anyone?”

Steve laughed, and you knew then that he wouldn’t, like you knew he wasn’t laughing at your expense.

“Who am I gonna tell?” he asked genuinely. You thought about it.

“Tommy or…” Steve shook his head. “No, right, you said that.”

You pretended to think some more, but you had nothing. You said, “I don’t know,” and then expected Steve to give you a name, like you were playing a guessing game and you’d lost. Instead, he drew his arms tighter around your shoulders, so that your chin was trapped on his chest as you looked up at him.

“I won’t tell a soul if that’s what you want,” he admitted, a shiny frond of his hair escaping the fray to sway between you two. “I think I’d do whatever you asked, actually.”

He seemed very affronted by that fact, as if he was only discovering it as he told you, right then.

“Would you—” You licked your lips. Looked at Steve’s. Asked: “Would you kiss me?”

“Yeah,” Steve breathed, “‘course.”

He kissed you then, acerbic ale transferring from his lips to yours. The stray hair caught between your foreheads, doing what your noses could not and flattening. Steve’s hands held you firmly, at the back of your neck and on your upper arm, and it made you shudder. He was kissing you dizzy—not nearly the first you’d ever had, but certainly the first that felt worthwhile, the first that felt good and right and deserved.

As you pulled away shyly, Steve kept his eyes closed, his jaw working and his breath uneven.

“Steve?” you called.

“Hm?”

“Did I do something wrong?”

Steve hummed negatively, tapping his forehead back onto yours and finally blinking his eyes open.

“No, sorry,” he whispered.

“Don’t be sorry.” You smiled, and Steve grinned knowingly, like he could tell he’d be hearing that a hundred times a week from then on. You asked him what he was thinking and he fiddled with your jacket collar nervously.

“Just about you. In Chicago and everything. Where that puts us.” Steve scrunched his face in a sort of wince like that might upset you. “I mean, not that there has to be an us at all—if that’s not what you want, or if I’m getting ahead of myself.”

He says the last bit like a question, like a request. Like: Please say I’m not getting ahead of myself?

“No, I wouldn’t say you are,” you assured him. “I didn’t even think about the distance. Does it bother you?”

“Yeah,” Steve said without hesitation, but a small abashed smile played on his lips. “But I meant what I said, whatever you say goes. Whatever you want me to do.”

You looked him over, from the tallest strand of his styled hair down to where your chests met, taking in his moles and the fibers of his shirt.

“Do you have anyone at home that you’d miss?” you asked, and Steve’s face said everything, even as he shook his head stubbornly.

“Baby, whatever you want. Ask me to move up and I will.”

Smiling, you kissed him curiously, the feeling so novel and thrilling. His responding squeeze on your arm shot through you to your very center.

“I still have my family in Hawkins,” you told him dazedly. “I go home every holiday. We can visit. And it’s only a year and half before I graduate, and then we can figure something new out.”

Steve smiled dryly, perhaps anticipating a different answer, but ultimately you knew it’d be best not to rush anything. You were content, all of the excitement and adrenaline seeping from your body and making you feel soft around the edges. You shivered a touch, and Steve rocked you both to and fro.

“Do you wanna go back inside,” he asked, his mouth on your hairline. You shook your head, stuffing your face in the junction of his neck and shoulder.

“Can we stay here just a little longer?” you pleaded.

“‘Course we can,” Steve granted, soothing his fingers through your hair. “Whatever you want.”

+

thank u for reading xx

masterlist

[hoe4sports]

The receipt

Alexia Putellas ft Mapi Leon x Reader

A/N: I’m discovering a new found obsession with Alexia.

Triggers: nothing, google translate Spanish.

You were casually placing up the newest curtains that you had got in earlier that morning. It was so peaceful to work in an interior design store especially during the morning shifts. You got to spend time walking around touching soft materials, looking at new bedsheet covers and blankets. You got to talk to so many new kind people within one day. It was the perfect job for you.It was Monday morning, and the awaited new items had come in a bit late. You were struggling with the big boxes being everywhere in the litte shop, but regardless you loved seeing what things were in trend and what had just arrived.

A hand suddenly tapped your shoulder leaving you terrified as you were busy daydreaming about what my future appartment was gonna look like. You turned around and it was the sweetest old man. “Good morning, is there anything I could do to assist you today?” You said as you smiled while climbing down from the little latter you had been using to hang the curtains.

“Good morning Miss, actually yes, my wife is celebrating her 90th birthday this week and I want to get her something special.” The old man replied as he smiled. You nodded and looked around you for inspiration. “Is there anything you had in mind or do you want some help?” You said as you smiled knowing exactly what you wanted to recommend to him. “I could really use some help, she has so many things!” He exclaimed as he zipped his jacket down. The store was always very hot, so you definitely understood him. “I have the perfect idea! What about a robe? We have multiple kinds. We have thicker materials, silk, cotton or even have linen.” You said as you walked towards the bathroom department of the store where we had the robes. I pulled out the rack of robes and showed him the colors. “Wow” he said as he touched them. “She likes pink and she is a cold person” he said as he furrowed his brows into a thinking position. “Perhaps this pink one thats double layered, then” you said as you pulled it out of the rack. “That will do!” He said as he smiled widely clearly satisfied with himself. “Does she like good smells, soaps, towels?” You asked as the man nodded rapidly. “I suggest this pink soap bottle with a rosy smell, this complementing room spray and this matching towel” you said as you put them together to portray what they would look like. The old man nodded as he smiled widely. “Ring me up Miss!” he insisted as you made you way to the desk. You rang him up, he paid and you wrapped the gift in a cute giftbox adding a variety of ribbons and a tag. You did your very best to make the gift look special and the older man was visibly pleased. “Here, for your wife sir!” You said as you handed him the beautifully wrapped box. The man thanked you multiple times and told me how he was always happy to shop with you because of your very thoughtful customer service. You thanked him and waved him goodbye as he walked out.

This was the part of your job that you loved. You loved seeing customers get just what they want, have their visions come to life and be pleased to find something they have looked for. You walked over to the pile of boxes and pulled out some candle holders in crystal. They were something that every rich hausfrau would need. You kept unpacking the latest news and got to the bedding section. There were tons of new styles coming in synch with the season changing from winter to spring. You grabbed the higher latter from the back and climbed up to place the bedding. The bedding was heavy and you were juggling them back and forth between places to find the perfect spot for the new arrival.

“Hola, Do you work here yes?” A voice said behind you as it tapped my hip. You turned around and there was a woman standing next to the latter looking up at me. She was quite attractive, and you felt slightly embarrassed by the fact that your ass was in the same height of as head since you were up on the latter. You jumped down, and smiled. “Good morning mrs, is there anything I can do to help you this morning?” You said as a put down the items I had tried to place before getting interrupted. Her friend came around the isle and she had funny a look on her face. “Si bonita, yo necesito una..” she was stopped by a smack in the back of her head. “Tonto! Tienes que hablar Inglés!” the other woman exclaimed. “Dios mío! Cállate por favor!” the attractive woman said back. You smiled knowing that you could speak perfectly Spanish as your step father was Spanish. He had been brought into your life as a toddler and he insisted in spaking Spanish with you claiming that it would help your learning abilities. “Sorry, yes, I need some clothes for the bed.” She said in a clearly Spanish accent. You giggled “Clothes for the bed?Sheets? You need sheets?” You said as she blushed.

“Dios mío! Estupido de mierda. Nos estás avergonzando a los dos delante de la cura.” the woman said as she shook her head. You giggled again as you started walking. “Follow me please”. You came to the baskets with sheets and you looked at the pair. The blonde woman was still red and the brown haired woman looked like she was gonna piss herself laughing. “Cotton or satin, what do you prefer?” You asked as you touched the sheets in front of you. The blonde woman’s eyes widened. You smiled and explained.

“Cotton is cheaper. It stretches but I also gets wrinkly. Satin is more expensive, more silky but it dosent pill and it dosent wrinkle. Both have the fitted sheet look.” You said as a reached out for one of each for her to touch. She touched the sheets and looked confused. “What is your preference?” She asked. “Oh, I use the satin ones! They feeling cooling on the skin and they are way more durable than the cotton ones.” You said as she nodded. “I’ll take the satin then” she said as she winked. Did she just flirt with me? You shook the thought of quickly. “Now, what color do you prefer? We have navy, black, grey, white and cream” you said as you pointed to the different types. “Dios mio! Realmente necesito encontrar una novia.” the brunette said as she playfully slapped the blonde’s toned bicep.

“The navy and black sheets dosent work well with blonde hair or fur. The white or cream sheets dosent work if you have a partner with black hair or black pet fur.” You said as you smiled while you were silently hoping that there was no partner. “I’ll go with crème then, no partner.” she said as she smiled shyly and looked at your blonde hair. You were doing everything you could to not blush.

You beeped the sheet and looked at her. “It’s 49 punds. Are you a member?” You asked as you were focusing on the screen in front of me. She shook her head. “Do you wanna be a member? I would just need your phone number.” You said as you smiled hoping you could sign her up as a member because it would mean that you got extra bonuses. “Si, dale tu numero!” the brunette whispered and nudged her. “Yes, +34 914 36 38 40, you can write my name as Alexia Putellas.” she said and you happily obliged. “Quieres una bolsa para ello o lo tomas como estás?” You smirked as the blonde blushed and the brunette bend down hysterically laughing. “Ella puede entender español, mierda estúpida” she wheezed out. “I’ll take a bag.” The blonde muttered while looking down at the bank terminal. She paid for it and you handed her the sheet in a bag with the recite. “Thank you, and goodbye!” You said as the pair started walking out. You got back into working on bedding placement when after a while, a hand tapped my knee. Jesus, you thought to yourself, not one moment to finish the wall. “Good morning, how ca-“ you stopped as you saw the blonde woman again handing you a reciet. “You dropped it.” She said as she disappeared out of the store. You opened the receipt to see who had lost it so you could keep it if they came back. The recite had pen marks on it and when you looked closer it was a message.

“If you ever want coffee, +34 914 36 38 40.

-Alexia “

[talkbycolor]

let me hold your hand forever.

A/N; i almost threw up writing this because its not the usual "omg i love this cute yandere boy, so silly!" shit i do

Pairing; "Rendacted" x GN!reader

CW; Ren/[REDACTED] having unhealthy, obsessive and possesive behavior, wow, who would have told / TW; mutilations, romanticizing mutilation by Ren side but MC is really terrified / this is an AU where MC rejected Ren's advances and he lost his infinite patience / character with extremely questionable ethics / wow another nsfw in this blog? / you’re lucky this isn’t visual / i know in canon Rendacted would never hurt MC BUT HEY god gave me the ability to write and im making that everyone else's problem / surreal strength for the sake of the plot, IMPORTANT POINT

It was quite comfortable, having a friend like Ren could even be strange, he looked like cotton candy and it was very nice to spend time together. But then again, you were just friends, it was a little strange that he mentioned being in a relationship with you.

But things have taken a bit of a drastic turn, Ren has spent his days trying to hang out with you, having lunch together, spending nights watching anime and horror movies, that would be nice if it didn't feel so overwhelming.

So it's time to confront him.

"Ren, hey, I know you like me a lot but we can't go out every day, I'm not always up for that so… I'll let you know when we can go out, okay?"

And there was only silence from the pink-haired boy, he seemed to be trying to smile unsuccessfully, just looking at you.

"Of course, angel, don't forget to call me!" He spoke nervously trying to hold back the storm in his throat.

Just when you were about to leave a hand grabbed your forearm, Ren was still looking at you with a smile, a sad smile.

"You're going to call me, right?" He asks, his eyes widening in desperation, Ren didn't want to lose you, he couldn't stand it, not again, what if you're thinking about slowly walking away?

"Sure, later" was the only thing you mentioned before pulling your arm to leave, it's not like you had an avoidant attachment pfff!

The days passed and life could be considered calm, you went out with your friends, you greeted your strange neighbor who loved to walk to her floors, work was not unpleasant and you even bought yourself a small dessert for dinner tonight.

You and Moth talked late into the night about the new episodes and since Haruko was so adorable, life felt peaceful once again. It's not that Ren was a problem, he was attractive and if you had enough self-esteem you would think you had a chance with him but…

I suppose not.

Speaking of Ren, what is he doing now? Visiting him would be a good idea, it's been days since they last spoke.

Once morning arrived you headed towards his large apartment and knocked on the door, not long after it was opened by Ren, who looked just like an abandoned puppy, you could almost see his eyes shine and his breath was lost just by seeing you in front of him. him.

"Angel, you're here! oh god, I-I'm so sorry for the mess, I didn't expect you to come… to my apartment…" It sounded a little strange, but it was just Ren being shy.

"Yeah uh… I'm sorry, are you busy? I can go, yes, maybe I should have let you know I was coming."

"No! NO! it's okay, you just surprised me, do you want a drink? I have your fav-… many options! I have many drink options" He corrected himself immediately with a smile, his face was almost the color of his hair and I was dying to say that I miss you so much.

"Or we can go out, do you want to visit the new cafe? Maybe we can-…"

“No” You interrupted, it sounded a little rude so you cleared your throat. "Now I'm not sure, I was just passing by to say hello, plus I don't have money to buy something…"

"I can buy it for you," he said almost immediately, his eyes fixed on you, almost sweating from having you close.

"That's very generous, Ren, but…"

"Please! It's your day off, right? We could go out and…"

"Ren, I'm not-…"

"Please, angel!" He begged, his hand had climbed to your arm and you didn't even notice, he was now gently squeezing your shoulder, wanting closeness, wanting to date, wanting you and you kept pushing him away.

The atmosphere was a little awkward now, you didn't know whether to be flattered that he thought you were interesting enough for Ren to want to spend time with you or scared by how desperate he looked about it.

"No thanks, I think I better go back to my apartment" You mentioned as you pushed his hand from your arm, you didn't even have time to turn to the door when Ren grabbed your arm tightly, a painful grip.

"Ren?"

"Can we be together, please? I-I'll make you feel special, I want you to be okay and I want you to…" his expression seemed so… surprised, to see you, embarrassed to act like that? scared of being abandoned? overstimulated? "all I want is to be with you!"

He almost roared out, his grip on your arm becoming more and more painful, he was pulling you away from the exit door.

"Ren, that hurts! REN! REN!"

"JUST LET ME HOLD YOUR HAND FOREVER!" He begged between screams, only a beeping sound existed in his head as he watched you fall to the ground in a pool of blood.

Now you were on the ground, screaming and crying out loud, it was agony, Ren had hurt you.

For fuck's sake, not only did he hurt you, he tore your fucking arm off and now you were writhing in your blood as you slowly lost consciousness.

Wake up.

Your body was still shaking, you were still terrified, and you had to escape, where was your arm? As soon as you woke up you found a sweaty Ren who was looking at you with a desperate and nervous smile.

It was a deranged look, almost immediately you started crying out of panic, your arm was gone, your arm, he tore it off, you were hyperventilating as you watched his left arm missing.

"REN! REN!!" You were sobbing in despair, the pool of blood was still on the floor, how long were you unconscious? not much because apparently Ren had tried to stop the bleeding and close the wound, seeing bandages full of blood made you vomit immediately, but that didn't stop you from crying in agony.

"Angel, please! s-stop crying, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, please forgive me! FORGIVE ME, I DIDN'T WANT TO! IT WAS NOT MY INTENTION!" He begged you as he sobbed himself, he had hurt you and that was something he never thought of doing, that he never wanted to do. "l-look, now we are equal, can you forgive me?"

What did he say ..?

Your throat had closed and the screams stopped, that guy was fucking deranged.

He ripped his left arm off of him.

For you.

He came up to hug you, wanting to be comforting, to make you feel accompanied in this, to give you love in such a dark time.

No no no no.

"NO! NO! NOOO! PLEASE, NO!" You screamed in panic as the tears came out, that couldn't be happening, disgust and terror filled your poor mind as you were caressed with so much love, Ren was going to take care of you and promised to never hurt you again.

"We'll be fine angel, just trust me, I'll take care of you." He spoke so lovingly, smiling as he held you, genuinely happy to be so close, to be able to touch you. "Now we match, right?"

He was joking at a moment like that, as if it were nothing, the sobs no longer came out, you could barely breathe while the tears didn't stop and he lulled you into your chest with the help of his only arm.

♡

[ponderingmoonlight]

Toji Fushiguro coming back to life to save (y/n) in Shibuya

Shibuya Arc scenarios that live in my head rent-free pt.ll

Pt. l with Gojo and Geto are here

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x reader

Word Count: 2,5k

Notes: Literally no one asked for this, I had to do this for myself after the latest episode okay. Loots of grief, hurt and language. Enjoy

„Hey, it’s been a while“, you mumble to yourself, mindlessly dropping a bouquet of flowers onto the stone in front of you.

“You’re not coming back, are you?”

It’s been more than 10 years to be exact. Ten years of working as an assassin, ten years of roaming around without an aim.

Ten years since losing him.

Back then, you never admitted to anyone how you felt about him, how his sight alone made your body do crazy things and lightened up your cloudy mood. He was never a man that was easy to love, let alone very emotional. When it comes to women, Toji probably was the worst man walking on this earth.

But oh how much you loved him. How much you adored the little smile he wore on his face when he teased you, how much you longed for his arms that wrapped themselves around you when nobody was watching, how much you miss his hands roaming all over your body while he fucked you brainless each and every night, screaming out his name like a prayer.

Losing him was the most unbearable pain you’ve ever felt, an event that made you forget your belief in love forever. He was never yours, but losing him shattered your fucking heart. Since he’s gone, you never let another man touch you again, living from alcohol, cigarettes and assignments.

And this.

You visited Toji’s grave whenever you felt enough courage to do so without breaking down. Day after day, week after week, year after year. Always with the same empty feeling that occupies your mind, the what ifs that plague your tired heart whenever you think of him.

Beep beep beep.

Who the hell is calling you right now?

“I’m busy doing nothing”, you bark into your phone.

“(y/n), just wanted to let you know that something’s going on in Shibuya. Rumor has it that that Gojo boy was sealed.”

“Impossible”, you breathe out, almost dropping your phone.

Gojo Satoru, the strongest jujutsu sorcerer, the fucker that killed Toji all these years ago, is gone? Your heart bangs against your chest, mind unable to comprehend the words. This is your chance. The chance to seek revenge, to kill everyone he cares for in one place without resistance.

Everyone expect him.

“I don’t know how this will go. My kid, Megumi. If something happens, keep an eye on him for me, will ya?”

You promised. Despite the fact that you pushed Toji’s past away as far as you could, you have to keep an eye on his son when Gojo isn’t around anymore.

“I thought so too, but seems like that’s a fact.”

“Do we know anything else? Some dirty details?”

“Not really, but someone pretty strong has to be there if that person was able to seal that fucker, don’t you think?”

“Yeah”, you mumble.

“I will take a look at this myself.”

Without waiting for a reply, you hang up and start walking.

This is your chance. After all this years of suffering, regretting, anger and agony, you’ll finally get your revenge. You will show them what the strongest jujutsu sorcerer did to you by taking your love away, by destroying your life so violently that there’s no more happiness left. You will give him a taste of his own medicine.

If Gojo Satoru ever sees the light of day again, all of his beloved ones will be dead. You will make sure of that.

-at Shibuya-

“Jujutsu sorcerers and their fucking curtains”, you mutter to yourself while effortlessly walking through the barrier.

How pathetic to think that curses and other jujutsu sorcerers are their only enemies. After all, Toji was almost able to defeat the strongest of them with nothing but his own rough hands.

Almost. How much you hated that word. He was almost able to defeat Gojo, he was almost able to survive that battle, he almost made it home to you.

But he never did. And that’s why you’re here, standing on top of a tall building while scanning the area around you. A few seconds later, loud bangs can be heard from a stress a few miles away. You spring into action immediately, gliding over the buildings with your harness so effortlessly that even a trained eye wouldn’t detect you. In their world, you are invisible, nothing more than a shadow without jujutsu.

And that’s their weakness.

You stop on a house corner, immediately caught by the sight of none other than Megumi Fushiguro in front of you along with another boy and an old fart. Your heart clenches painfully at the way his cold eyes stare at the old man, his facial features taking you back in time. Oh, he looks so much like his father.

So much that you want to go back home and swallow a bottle of vodka to get his face off your mind. But no, you’re on a mission, you have to make sure that kid is alright and kill all of his friends. You’ve got a job to do, get a hold of yourself.

With skilled eyes, you judge how he moves, how he acts, how he fights. Well, he might not be the best fighter you have seen yet, but he sure has some potential. Together with his little friend, he should be able to defeat that old fart. If not, you’ll come back later.

While you swore on keeping an eye open for him, you’re reluctant to meet Megumi and somehow don’t want him to find out that you’re after his friends and sensei. So you tear your gaze away from him, aiming for the skyscraper in front of you where another fight takes place. Whoever this is will be the first victim of your killing streak.

You will make every single one of these bastards pay for what Gojo did. You will make them feel the way you felt after his decease.

Over.

And over.

Again.

It isn’t hard for you to get up Shibuya tower in the matter of seconds, the harsh winds waving through your hair. Your heart pounds, eyes darting around the area.

Three people, two men are fighting while an old lady sits on the ground.

“And who of you belongs to that Gojo fucker?”, you mumble, gripping both of your katana’s tightly.

This is the moment. After Gojo is sealed, this is your opportunity to finally seek revenge, to kill every single one of them. When this fucker returns, he’ll be alone.

Just like you are since he killed Toji.

“What the hell are you doing here? Get lost”, the old woman hisses.

You stare at the broad back of the man who hits the other without mercy. Damn, that speed, that precision. It’s like back then. His fine technique almost makes him look like…

Toji.

Automatically, your feet carry you forward. You swing yourself in the air, feet ready to kick the broad man into his chest.

“Don’t you think this is a little unfair?”, you shout.

His eyes dart towards you.

He grabs your ankle.

All you can do is stare at him, mind going completely blank.

His face. This gorgeous face you adored so much. The little scar that emphasized the corner of his delicious mouth so well. His collarbone that creeps through the sweater he’s wearing. No, there’s no doubt. The man standing in front of you is Toji.

“Get out of the way, woman.”

Toji’s frame slams your body against the ground merciless. You see stars, lungs refusing their service as all you can do is stare in horror at the shell of the man you used to love, glimmer of hope nipped in the bud.

This isn’t his voice. This isn’t his smile.

This just isn’t Toji.

You hate the way your eyes start to water as he grabs your throat and yanks you upwards.

“You are not Toji. How dare you to use his body like that”, you cough out.

Instead of replying, he just smiles at you so heartlessly that you feel like throwing up. No, this simply can’t be Toji. This is the empty shell of the man you’ve lost. Feelings flood your heart uncontrollably. Anger, grief and most of all disappointment haunting and bringing you to your knees. God, how much you wished it was true. For the split of a second, you really thought this was him. Your Toji, the man you haven’t forgot after all these years, the only one you ever sacrificed your heart to.

But he’s gone. And he won’t come back.

“There needs to be a corpse for shapeshifting. Dumb girl, of course this isn’t Toji Zen’in. But you will die through his hands.”

Your body refuses to move. All you can do is watch as he throws the body of the other man down, off the tower, into certain death.

Fuck. Is this really how it ends?

“Y’know, you’re actually not that bad.”

“I hope so, jackass. Otherwise I’ll throw you out.”

“C’mon princess, don’t be like that. Y’know I’m obsessed with you.”

“Oh yeah? Might need to hear that again…”

“I’d rather show you.”

Like in slow-motion, his frame casually walks back and comes to a stand next to the old woman. Every limb of your body screams out in pain, lungs feeling like they’ll rip apart any minute. So this is the force of Toji Fushiguro.

It could be funny, actually. You always thought Toji is the strongest man on this earth, admired him for his sheer strength despite not being a jujutsu sorcerer. But when he was with you, his deadly touch became gentle, caressing you with what felt like…love.

Did he really love you? Who knows. But you did. Oh, how much you loved that man – the man whose back is now faced towards you, muscles tight by the thought of killing you with his bare hands.

Is there anything more ironic than getting killed by Toji Fushiguro?

“I would rather die through his hands than living like this until I’m as old and ugly as you.”

“Grandson.”

“I know, granny.”

He turns around. The shell of the man you thought about every night before drifting off to sleep, the man that is the only one you ever dedicated your heart to. That oh so rough face that felt so gentle against your fingertips. How much you’d give to talk to him one last time, to let him know how you really feel.

With a swift motion, he grabs your throat again, feet hanging in the air as you feel like life is slowly drifting away from you. Before your blurry vision threatens to eat you alive, he slams your already weak body into the floor, blood spurting in every direction.

Nothing but darkness and this foreign far away voice that speaks out of his body.

“That should be enough.”

Your fingers twitch. Is this the end? His footsteps echo through your brain.

“Granny, wh-wh-wh-wh-what do whe do now?”

“It won’t hurt to keep Satoru Gojo out of play. So go down below and kill sorcerers.”

…

“Grandson?”

“Who the hell do you think you’re ordering around, old hag? And how dare you to hurt ma princess?”

That voice…You must be hallucinating. It sounds just like him, just like you remember it. That deep unpromising vibration that made you go crazy more than once.

A shriek, a dull fall, silence. Footsteps that are approaching you again. Heavy, confident steps.

“I thought you can take more than that, princess.”

Hands grab your shoulders gently, lifting your bruised and weak body out of the dirt. You force yourself to open your heavy eyelids, mind still trying to process what is happening.

You stare right into his ocean blue eyes.

“Missed me?”

Your shaky breath rings in your ears, trembling hands searching for hold on his shoulders.  

“Toji?”

Nothing more than a fade whisper in the night, a faint hope resonates.

“You’re still looking hot.”

Tears swell up your eyes before you can catch yourself while you wrap your aching arms around him for dear life. This has to be a dream, some cruel technique, a hallucination. But you don’t give a fuck. At the moment, all you can think about is how he wraps his large arms around your waist and back while holding the back of your head and the way he smells.

God, he smells just like you remember, just like the Toji you knew.

“Please tell me you’re back. Tell me this isn’t just a cruel dream. I don’t want to wake up anymore….”

“Live and in color. It’s been a while”, he comments.

Your eyes dart towards him and his sly grin. The grin you know all too well, the grin you adored more than anything else in the world.

“I missed you every single fucking day. And now…And now you’re standing in front of me. Alive”, you stammer.

“These fuckers thought they could use my powers against you. Ain’t no way  I’d let this happen princess. Even if it means going to hell and back to be with you.”

Your fingers trace over his cheeks, his collarbones, his broad chest.

“It’s me, (y/n)”, he confirms your unspoken question.

“I missed you.”

“Yeah? Missed ya too. And can’t wait to show you how much. But work comes first and I still have a lot of shit to do.”

“I came here to take revenge, to kill all of Gojo’s little puppies for what he did to you”, you hiss through gritted teeth.

“What a good girl you are, I always loved ya for that. Let’s get you out of here first. I’ll be back in a few hours, ‘kay?”

Toji…Loves you? Your hands dig into his firm biceps, eyes piercing right through him for any sign of sarcasm, any sign of manipulation.

But no, it’s clear. The man in front of you is indeed Toji Fushiguro. And he told you that he loves you.

He’s back and he loves you.

“I love you. Fuck, I love you so much! Living without you was hell”, you cry out, completely breaking down in tears while he holds you in his arms.

“I know princess, I know… Will catch up on everything, I promise. Let’s get you outta here. So sorry for hurting you like that.”

He picks you up in his arms while you allow yourself to close your eyes and lean your face against his chest. This might be a manipulation, a dream and nothing more. But you never thought you’d get him back. Fuck, after more than 10 years you’re really back in his arms.

Screw if this isn’t real. For this precious moment, you finally feel home again.

[daisyvisions]

Unspoken Words (Pt. 1)

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Pairing: best friend!Sangyeon x afab!reader x enemy!Hyunjae

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Summary: If someone were to tell you that you'd be in a fake relationship with the person you despise the most just to make your best friend jealous, you would've laughed in their face. But here you are... caught up in this exact situation.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Word Count: 4.2K

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Warnings: (18+, minors DNI), fake dating, mutual pining, angst, jealousy, lots of suggestive themes such as: mention of a handjob and orgasm, groping, and fondling with breasts. Mentions of alcohol. Some cursing, lots of kissing and making out, eventual smut in part two. One use of the pet name “baby”. Implied sex and loss of virginity. Lots of time skipping. Let me know if I missed anything! Proofread twice.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. A/N: And just in the nick of time I’ve managed to write out my Secret Santa exchange gift. This one’s for you baby girl @winterchimez / @midnightfantasiez. You nearly sniffed out that it was me writing for you so I had to deviate and lie to you for a moment so sorry about that huhu anyway! A true blessing that you happen to be my recipient because we both love sangmil. A two-part mini series because I just love to keep you on your toes 😈 Hope you enjoy this gift! Thank you so much for your friendship and all the fun moments shared! Special shoutout to @momhwa-agenda / @aimeecarreros for being my accomplice hehe. Finally a sangmil fic has made its debut on the blog!

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Network: @deoboyznet

You never should’ve gone to this stupid spring dance.

The thought in your mind repeating like a broken record as you try to hug yourself from the cold air outside the gymnasium. Tears running down your face as you stare off into the ground trying not to remember the reason why you suddenly ran out of the venue to begin with.

It wasn’t always like this. You were once very content with how things were going on in your life.

With the semester almost ending and all your mid-term grades just enough to pass, you couldn’t wait to celebrate surviving your last year of college with this one magical night. Especially with your best friend Sangyeon by your side.

Right… best friend.

The same best friend that had been ignoring you for the last two months or so (not that you were counting of course). Your mind races as you try to figure out for the nth time what even started this whole issue between you two.

All you could think back to was the beginning of his odd behavior, which started the week after your birthday. At first you thought Sangyeon was just busy with extracurriculars, which was often the case since he was part of numerous clubs and volunteer work.

But then things started to feel off as soon as he would ignore your calls, take too long to reply to texts, hearing from other friends he was just at home when he told you he was “fully booked” to hang out. It was like he was trying to come up with every excuse in the book just to not see your face.

Was he trying to hide something from you perhaps? That idea immediately disappeared as soon as you accidentally overheard his conversation with Haknyeon that one time you were all hanging out at Eric’s apartment.

“What?! You’re not gonna ask her to the spring dance?” You hear Haknyeon’s surprised tone.

“Of course not.” Sangyeon scoffs. “Why would I want to bring her? We’re just friends after all.”

You felt a sudden pang in your heart. Tears threatening to fall down as Sangyeon’s words bore deep holes within your soul. After everything you’ve been through together, this is how he thinks of you?

It shouldn’t have been that deep honestly, but with him ignoring you for the past couple of weeks and remembering the promise you made with each other to go together to the spring dance? It really fucking hurt you. Especially when you and Sangyeon had been by each other’s side since you first met three years ago at your freshman orientation. Instantly hitting it off like two peas in a pod and the rest was history.

Somewhere down the line, you knew you had some sort of feelings for him. Who wouldn’t?

With a smile that can cure any bad feeling you had, how he always took care of you first, the lingering hugs before you had to part ways at the end of the day, the way he would remember even the most insignificant details of a story you were rambling about, and made sure to always message you good night and good morning… He was the dream guy for you.

And even if you had moments wherein you thought he might’ve felt the same way, you didn’t want to sacrifice the strong bond you had with him over a stupid little crush. You just settled with the idea of just staying in the friend zone and not dare to cross any lines with him. Burying any what could’ves and everything else in-between.

Maybe that’s why Sangyeon distancing himself from you hurt more than it should’ve honestly.

So when you were seated at your table during the dance and saw Sangyeon entering the room with his date wrapping her arm around his, you felt massive sting in your chest.

That should’ve been you. It should've been you spending this night with him instead of whoever was currently by his side.

You thought you could go through the night just by avoiding your gaze their table, but the way Sangyeon smiled at his date and at everyone else like nothing was wrong, but his face slightly faltering as he quickly glanced your way, you just had to get out of there before things went downhill.

Your teeth were chattering from the cold air breezing against your exposed skin, nose sniffling and hands wiping whatever tears were leaving marks on your face. Suddenly, a pair of shoes enter your line of vision while your eyes were still glued to the ground.

“You shouldn’t be out here, it’s freezing.” The familiar voice tells you.

As soon as you look up, you find Hyunjae staring down at you. One of his eyebrows slightly raised as he wonders what has gotten you into this depressed state on a special night like this.

“Laugh it up Hyunjae, isn’t this what you’ve always wanted? To see me cry?” You look up at him for a moment with your tear-stained face before looking back down at your feet.

Before you could even continue feeling sorry for yourself, Hyunjae sighs and squats down, his face now at the same level as yours. You feel his fingers lift your chin and gently tap the tears away from your cheeks with his handkerchief. Your eyes widen as he leans in closer, making sure not to ruin your makeup in the process.

“W-what are you doing?” you stutter.

“Pretty girls like you shouldn’t be crying.” He nonchalantly replies.

You’re too stunned to speak at his comment. As far as you know, Hyunjae has been nothing but a pain in your ass ever since he accidentally bumped into you in the hallway causing your diorama to break into tiny pieces as it fell to the ground.

Since then, you wrote him off as your sworn enemy. Always finding ways to annoy the hell out of you and get you to react to his antics, making side comments to one another, and his constant teasing that made you want to rip your hair off.

So no, never in your wildest dreams would you hear such a comment coming out of Hyunjae’s mouth.

“Hello?” Hyunjae waves his hand in front of you.

“What?” You shook your head as you were too distracted from hearing the question he had asked you.

“I said, do you wanna get out of here or what?” He sighs as he lends his hand out for you to grab. You hesitate at first. In any normal situation, you would never even let Hyunjae get as close as he did just now, let alone go somewhere with him.

But what the hell… Anywhere is better than here.

“So… who’s the lucky guy that has you bawling your eyes out? It’s obviously not me.” Hyunjae smirks. You had found yourself seated by the bar, eating french fries as you waited for your drinks to arrive.

“It’s uh- It’s a little complicated.” You try to avoid his eyes.

“Trouble in paradise?” Hyunjae pops a fry into his mouth waiting for your answer. Your eyes widen at his suggestion, knowing who he was referring to.

“What? No! I mean- We were never together if that’s what you’re thinking.” You sigh before carefully explaining to him the whole situation you were currently in with Sangyeon. Hyunjae intently looks into your eyes as you tell your side of the story.

“Huh…” Hyunjae takes a sip of his beer.

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” You look at him as he drinks, trying to not to dwell too much at the way his neck looks flexed under the dim light.

“You’re really impatient you know that?” He chuckles before taking another sip. “I was about to tell you an idea I just thought of.”

“Yeah? Let’s hear it then.” You take a sip of your cocktail this time.

“What if you make him jealous? Like really jealous.” Hyunjae suggests.

“Pass. First of all, I don’t think he likes me that way. And second, who the hell would he even be jealous of? Sangyeon hardly gets jealous by anything.” You squint at him. What a silly idea.

“No c’mon. Trust me, he’ll be jealous alright. Especially when it comes to you.” He eyes you up and down subtly.

“What does that even me-” Before you could even finish your sentence you spot behind Hyunjae a group of students dressed in formal attire entering the bar. And like a moth to a flame, you immediately spot Sangyeon and his date amongst the group.

Hyunjae turns around to see what had been the cause of your panic, his eyes immediately spotting Sangyeon from a distance as well. And as soon as Sangyeon had a puzzled look on his face he knew that Sangyeon had spotted the two of you by the bar, wondering what the hell were you doing with Hyunjae of all people.

You hop off the bar stool, attempting to run away like you did during the dance, but you suddenly feel a hand gently grab you by the arm and pull you back before you could even make a run for it.

“C’mere.” Hyunjae asks.

“Wha-”

“Just follow my lead.” He whispers in your ear.

And before you know it, you feel Hyunjae lips pressed against yours. His hands cupping your face before sliding down to your waist, pulling you closer to him. It takes a moment for your brain to process what’s going on, but your body responds faster by wrapping your arms around Hyunjae’s neck and deepening the kiss.

The way his lips perfectly mold against yours, how soft they feel as his hands squeeze your waist. The little groan he lets out as you slip your tongue inside his mouth, tasting the beer he had drank as your fingers run through his hair.

You nearly moan with how he slowly but expertly moves his mouth against yours. As if he’s taking to memory what your lips feel like in case this moment would never happen again. Both you and Hyunjae nearly forget you’re practically sucking each other’s faces off in public, which was surprising considering the nature of your relationship with one another.

No one could even tell the two of you despised the other as you held each other like lovers.

None of you see it, but the way Sangyeon looks at both of you right now is as if he wants to throw daggers at Hyunjae from across the room. Witnessing the both of you passionately kissing each other makes his stomach churn, a feeling he has never felt before. So many questions run in his head as he continues to watch from afar.

Before he even tries to take a step towards your direction, he sees you both pull away from one another. Hyunjae whispering something in your ear as you look too stunned to speak before taking out his wallet, pulling out cash and settling it on the table before whisking you away out of the bar.

Sangyeon really should’ve brought you to the spring dance like he promised… because not only does he feel like an asshole, but a jealous one at that.

The car ride on the way to your house was incredibly silent, as if what had happened between you and Hyunjae was just your imagination. Except it wasn’t. You could still feel his lips lingering on yours as you try to lean your head against the window and looking at anything passing by.

You’re broken from your trance as you hear Hyunjae’s door closing and his figure making its way to your side of the car. He lends out his hand for you to grab once again, helping you get out of the car and walk you to the front of your apartment.

“So… I’ll see you around?” Hyunjae smiles awkwardly says as he puts both his hands in his pockets.

“Hyunjae, wait-” You grab his elbow as he’s about to turn around.

“Hm?” He raises one eyebrow.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but-” You huff in-between, “let’s go with your plan.” You watch the little mischievous smirk appear on Hyunjae’s lips.

“If you just wanted to make out some more you could’ve just asked.” He teases. You’re about to slap him on the arm but he catches your hand and holds it tight.

“I’m kidding! Just… Let me know when and what time we can talk about it more alright?” He squeezes your hand gently. You don’t know why but a tiny little butterfly flutters in your stomach as you feel Hyunjae’s thumb subconsciously stroke the back of your hand.

“Okay… Thank you by the way for tonight-” you tiptoe a bit to hold Hyunjae’s cheek and leave a light peck on his lips. He’s caught off guard by your action, almost leaning forward some more to continue kissing you but you pull away quick enough before he does.

“Y-yeah, sure. Anytime.” Thank god it’s night time he thinks, otherwise you would've easily spotted the redness flaring in his ears and made fun of him for it.

“Call me okay?” He squeezes your hand once more before letting go and walking back to his car. You watch him drive off before heading up to your apartment, leaning against the front door and letting out one big sigh of relief.

“What the hell did I get myself into?”

“If you really want this to work, we have to set a few ground rules.” Hyunjae he pulls out a pen and paper from his bag, immediately writing down a numbered list for you both to fill out.

“Rule one- if one of us wants to stop this thing at any given moment, the contract will end.” Hyunjae says as he writes it down.

“Hmm.. what about rule two- if any of us catch some sort of feelings for one another, the contract is immediately terminated” You add. Hyunjae scoffs at the idea.

“Catch feelings? Seriously?” He looks up at you with a smirk. “Is there something you’ve been meaning to tell me this whole time?” He continues to tease.

“I’m serious! It’s only gonna get complicated for us to execute this plan if feelings are involved. Haven’t you seen the movies?” You ask him.

“Fine, you have a point.” He writes down your suggestion earlier.

“Okay, rule three- kisses are a must if you want this thing to work.” He looks at you in the eyes. “And other things couples do.”

You roll your eyes at him, “Fine, but nothing beyond second base please?” You scrunch your face at the thought.

“Oh?” Hyunjae looks at you with a few twinkles in his eyes. “So does that mean I get to play with your-”

“NO! Not that. Like y’know, just waist touching and maybe the occasional touch of the ass. But definitely and absolutely no touching my chest whatsoever.” You point your finger at him. “I'm serious.”

“Alright alright!” Hyunjae raises his hands up in defense. “Anything else you wanna add?”

“Let me see the list again.” You grab the paper from his hands, carefully examining the words written before nodding.

“This looks good. Yeah, I’m fine with this.” You hand the paper back to Hyunjae.

“It’s a deal.” He says as you both shake on it before getting up to part ways.

Before you have a chance to take a step towards where your class is, Hyunjae pulls you into his chest and leaves a kiss on your lips, making you squeal in surprise.

“Sit with me during lunch. We start this today, okay?” Hyunjae reminds you. You nod your head before shyly giving him a kiss on his cheek and walking away to head to your first class of the day.

Sangyeon could not keep his eyes off you during study period. It had been this way every time you happen to be in the same room as him. You looked beautiful as ever of course but he could feel his blood pressure shooting up every time he would be near you.

Ever since that night he saw you kissing Hyunjae almost two weeks ago, it was like the two of you were everywhere.

He hated the way Hyunjae would always whisper something in your ear and you would laugh at whatever he said. Or the way his hand would find purchase on your lower back. And not to mention the way he would brush any loose hair behind your ear before kissing you goodbye.

It should’ve been him. He should've been the one doing all these things to you. He should've been the guy leaving you all those loving kisses, holding you by your waist, reminding you of how beautiful you look every single chance he got.

If only he was honest with you that night.

Sangyeon’s internal monologuing was cut short when he sees you getting up from your seat and patting Hyunjae on the shoulder before making your way between the bookshelves in the library.

As you slowly search for the book you need for your English paper, your shoulder bumps into a semi hard surface. “Oh! I’m so so-” you whisper but stop mid sentence as the familiar scent of cologne hits your nose.

“Hey….” Sangyeon whispers.

“Uh- Hi.” You back away from him a bit as an awkward silence falls between you two.

“How are things going? We haven’t talked in a while.” He fiddles with his own fingers, trying to think of the next words to say to you.

“Good I guess? Just trying to make it through the semester and stay motivated.” You respond.

“Sure looks like it-” Sangyeon mumbles. But you clearly hear him and scoff at his rudeness.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You cross your arms against your chest.

“Seriously… Hyunjae? Why him?” He loudly whispers. “You’re better than that.”

“Yeah?” You step a little closer to Sangyeon, closing the gap between you two.

“Well where the fuck have you been huh? Where were you when I needed you?” You match the level of his tone.

“You don’t understand-”

“Then explain it to me then Sangyeon! I’m listening.”

He tries to speak but nothing comes out, panicking that this might be the last chance he could get to explain why he’s been so distant.

“I-uh” His eyes look everywhere else except you.

“Nothing? Thought so.” You push past him, making sure to harshly nudge your shoulder against his.

Sangyeon tries to follow you, but as soon as he steps out between the bookshelves he sees you head out of the library while Hyunjae scrambles to grab all your things from the table and chases after you. He sighs out of frustration combing his hair as he mentally curses at himself.

Oh he really fucked things up didn’t he?

“And he had the nerve, THE NERVE to tell me I know better. I can’t believe him!” You pace back and forth in your bedroom as you rant to Hyunjae about the events that took place in the library

“I honestly don’t know if I should feel offended or flattered at his little comment about me.” Hyunjae’s eyes follow you as you continue to move around.

“Think about it this way, at least we know the plan is working. Otherwise he wouldn’t have approached you like that.”

“Maybe? Ugh! Why are men so dumb?” You sigh.

“We think with our dicks that’s why. Well… maybe that’s just me.” He smirks, trying to crack a joke to break the tension. His little joke becomes successful when you look back at him and chuckle.

“Forget about him,” Hyunjae adds. “Tonight we drink to celebrate passing yet another exam and watch movies til we fall asleep or you decide to kick me out. Whichever comes first.”

He pours a full glass of wine for each of you as you plop down beside him and get cozy.

“Fine, but I’m picking the movie okay?” You tell him as you open your laptop and search for your favorite comfort movie.

Hours pass, almost three bottles of wine finished, and the movie long forgotten as you decide to chat with each other about anything and everything instead. It’s been nothing but laughs and mocking each other as you reminisce all the times you pissed each other off and funny stories of one another.

“Oh the look on your face was fucking priceless-” You laugh out loud, trying to catch your breath as you recall one embarrassing moment of Hyunjae.

“Well what the hell was I supposed to do then huh? Tell the professor I was getting a handjob under the table during his class?” His voice raises in defense. “Not my fault she couldn’t resist me.”

“You looked so mortified too holy shit-” You laugh.

“I was nearing a fucking orgasm okay? Then he calls me to the front of the class to write down my answer for the stupid formula. That professor practically edged me!” His cheeks starting to turn even more red as you continue to laugh at him.

“Ow it hurts, wait-” You clutch your stomach from the pain of laughing too much.

“Oh yeah? Let’s see how you like it then-” Hyunjae lunges forward, pulling your arms away to tickle you furiously.

You squeal out his name, trying to push him away while he tackles you. As you try to squirm out of his grip, you don’t even realize the position you’ve gotten yourselves into. Your body caged under his as he grabs your wrists and pins them down at each side of your head.

As the laughter starts to die down, Hyunjae looks down at you with heavy eyelids. You look incredibly pretty under him in this moment, he thinks to himself.

You didn’t even do anything in that moment but it was like he felt so drawn to you. Like you were a siren pulling him in. Your breath hitches as he leans down closer to your face, briefly stopping to search for any sign of consent before fully pressing his lips against yours.

This obviously is not the first time you two have kissed. But for some reason, this kiss felt different than all the other ones. You both kiss each other slowly, lips molding like a perfect dance as his hands let go of your wrist and hold you by your waist instead.

And just like the first time you kissed, you find yourself automatically wrapping your arms around him and running your fingers through his hair, pulling his body closer to yours as kisses travel down from your jaw to the most sensitive part of your neck.

You feel your core blooming in heat as his tongue expertly swirls inside your mouth. How it pulsates for him as you feel his hands go under your shirt, stopping right under your breasts.

You suddenly gasp as his hands start fondling your bra covered chest, gently kneading them as he continues to leave small marks on your sensitive skin with his lips.

A choked moan comes out as you feel his manhood throb against your core, reminding you of the thin layers of clothing, your thin pajama shorts and his sweatpants that stand between you two from crossing any lines.

“Hyunjae, wait-” You try to slowly push him off. His head pulls away to look at your face.

“Oh shit. I’m- fuck sorry no chest stuff-” You see the panic look in his eyes. But before he’s able to pull away, you grab him by the wrists and press his hands deeper into your chest.

A deep groan comes out of his mouth as he squeezes your breasts again, feeling your sensitive buds slowly hardening under your bra.

“No it’s not that. I-” You close your eyes for a moment before swallowing the lump in your throat. You feel your cheeks become warm at what you’re about to confess to him.

"I've never done stuff like this before..." you nervously say.

It takes a few seconds for your words to sink in before Hyunjae looks back at you with widened eyes.

“Oh uh- are you sure? We can stop. We don’t even have to do anything more-” He caresses your cheek.

“The thing is…” You pause to slowly swipe your thumb on his lower lip. “I want to-”

You look up at him with the most innocent looking eyes and Hyunjae swears to himself that he’s never seen anyone look at him the way you do. Like he had hung the moon for you. Hyunjae softly smiles at you before leaning to kiss you once again,

"Then sit tight baby… Because I'm about to rock your world."

(Part 2)

[bleachedhallways]

lullaby & goodnight. ⌇ lrh.

A/N: i have a soft spot for dad!au’s & the idea of luke being a father makes me super soft, so i wanted to indulge in my silly little fantasies.

summary: in which, your daughter is having a hard time falling asleep & luke knows exactly how to center her.

word count: 1,000+ words.

“Ollie, baby, please–”

“No.” The young girl pouts, arms crossed over her chest with her favorite plush toy held in the grip of her tiny fingers. “No, no, no!”

“Ophelia, you need to sleep. How else will you have the energy to hang out with Daddy tomorrow?” A rhetorical question, yet you hope your five-year-old has the understanding and sense to answer it; Ophelia was incredibly smart for her age and seemed to be quite mature, however, she was a child and children will do as they please, no matter how old of a soul they already seem to be. 

The tiny blonde shakes her head dramatically before looking away from you. At this point, you’re ready to admit defeat and let her stay up for as long as she wants, or at least, until she tires herself out doing whatever it was that she wanted to do. However, you wanted to sleep and your husband was in your home studio, finishing up a tune that he’d been working on for days, so grabbing him to help with your stubborn daughter was, in your mind, out of the question. You couldn’t leave her unattended, you’d feel like a shitty mother if you did and Ollie was too young to be on her own. 

“Is there anything I can do to help you fall asleep?” You inquire, eyebrows knit together in hopes that there was a solution to this scenario. You’re met with large, doe-like eyes, the hue of them a replica of your own. Your daughter’s gaze is innocent, yet a hint of mischief lies in the depths of her irises. 

“No, but Daddy can.” 

Of course. Ophelia was a Daddy’s girl, through and through. She and Luke shared a bond unlike one you’ve ever encountered and had each other wrapped around their fingers. Whenever you three had family outings, there were moments where you felt like you were third wheeling; it was simply your husband and your daughter’s world and you were just living in it – happily, obviously. You don’t think you’d have it any other way. Sharing life with the two of them was one of the greatest gifts you’d ever received. 

“Ol, Daddy’s busy right now.”

Ophelia wasn’t having it. She would not take ‘no’ for an answer, “I can wait for him!”

You blink twice, unsure of what to say to the child in front of you. The sound of a door opening and closing gains your attention, footsteps getting louder as they come down the hall and stop. 

Luke pokes his head into the dimly lit bedroom your daughter occupies, a gentle, tired smile on his face. “Ladies,” He greets the both of you, “everything okay in here?” he adds, eyebrows raising slightly. 

“Ollie is having a bit of trouble getting to bed.” You reply, your gaze averting from your husband to your little girl, who looks very pleased with herself; she’s about to get exactly what she wanted. 

“Oh, yeah? Can I help?” Luke offers, fully entering the room. He sits on the edge of the twin sized bed covered in pale yellow sheets, stuffed animals crammed against the headboard. 

Ophelia abandons her plush toy, leaning into her father’s hold as he opens his arms and cuddles her into his chest. A lighthearted chuckle leaves your husband’s lips, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he looks at you, “Sorry, baby. I guess I’m what she needed.”

“Figures,” You sigh, a grin pulling at your lips. “She’s got you wrapped, Lu.”

“Definitely,” He agrees, before turning his attention back to your daughter. “Alright, miss. How can I help you sleep, hm?” 

Silence fills the room as your daughter thinks for a brief moment. She’ll milk Luke for all the time that he’s willing to give her, there’s no doubt about that. Doe eyes look up, blinking innocently to really make sure he’s ready to deliver. “Sing to me, pretty please?”

Luke doesn’t waste any time in giving in to her command. If a lullaby is what she wants? It’s what she’ll get. “I can do that for you. Anything you’re wanting to hear?”

“No- wait, can I get comfy?” She asks, pulling away from her father a bit. Luke nods, shifting from his space on the edge of the bed, which prompts you to also get up in order to allow for your daughter to get comfortable under the sheets. Once she’s settled, you and your husband snuggle in on either side of her, wrapping your arms around the girl you both love most. 

“Ready, sweetheart?” Luke hums, oceanic eyes peering down at your daughter. He always looks at her with so much love and so much pride, you swear that every time you see it, your heart swells up with affection. 

Ophelia nods, her gaze trained on her father as he begins to sing softly, “Take my hand, now and forever…” 

As he continues to sing, his melodic voice filling up the space, you watch as the melody flowing from Luke’s lips sends your daughter into a blissful, serene state. Her eyes get droopy as each second passes, the calm atmosphere and warmth provided by her loving parents causing sleep to overtake her. Soon enough, her head is slumped against the pillows, her face slightly buried in the Pink Floyd shirt your husband donned. 

Your eyes meet Luke’s when you’re sure that Ophelia is sound asleep, quietly mouthing a ‘thank you’ to him. If it weren’t for him and his incredible knowledge of what your child needed, you doubt she’d be asleep by now. He smiles, blinking sleepily at you before gingerly leaving the softness your daughter’s bed provides, holding out his hand for you to take in order to leave her room. 

With a flip of a switch, the dimly lit room is drowned in darkness, save for the pink hued night light plugged into the wall. Luke closes the door as you both exit, then wraps his arm around you and leads you to your own bedroom, sighing dreamily as the prospect of sleep draws closer with each step you take.

[yutahoes]

Caramel

(Part Thirteen)

gif by @noyuta I can't find the gif I always include in the story so just saved it and uploaded it. I'm sorry.

characters: ex-stripper! company vice-president! Yuta x female! ex-wealthy! secretary! mom! Y/N genre: chaptered, smut, angst, fluff word count: 3.5k words summary: Y/N has everything in her bitter life, not until she meets a sweet-looking stripper. warnings: matured theme, ex-stripper au!, third person POV, alcohol consumption taglist: @cherrymotodude @tenjyucat @justsomekpopstuff @ilhoonseyeballs @whyme11 @a-bts-world @amazinggraxia

Part Twelve

It must be a dream. A very crazy fever dream. 

Come to think of it, even when he first met her, it felt like a dream. A hazy fairytale. How could a pretty, wealthy, successful girl hang out with a low-life stripper? Even when she was in his arms, he felt as if he was floating and just dreaming of the moment. When they got separated and he never saw her for years, it felt like a dream-like trance. 

Maybe this is still a dream. He probably just missed her so much. 

Yet when Yuta pinched his arm so hard, hurting himself in the process to at least wake himself up, Y/N was still in front of him. And she looks even prettier, glowing even. He can’t take his eyes off her. He had to get his eyes checked twice just to make sure that what he was seeing was true and not a hallucination. 

But why? How? 

Why would the wife of a globally esteemed company chairman work as a secretary in their small company? How did Y/N end up here, in his office, of all places? 

It must be a plot. Maybe she works as a spy for their own company. But why Suzaki company? Does she know that he’s been doing this to defeat Jung Tradings? 

He’s getting crazy just thinking of her reason when his original reason for opening the company is to be more successful than Jung Jaehyun. Then maybe, just maybe, he’ll have a chance to steal his first love from her husband. 

Is this a sign of mockery from them? 

That he’s now tied up to his dad who he despised the most. He’s running a small company. That the girl he yearned for is so close yet feels so far. Even if he can always see her, laughing with his very own secretary, he cannot touch her. That even if she calls him ‘sir’, he cannot have her. 

He hated this feeling, he’d rather die. 

All his hard work is now slowly going down the drain because of these stupid feelings. 

The money Y/N had given him the night they last shared was all poured into opening this small business. It was a deal he proposed to his biological father, Mr. Suzaki, when the elder's henchmen caught him. He had been running really well from him, avoiding him at all costs for years. But it only took Y/N’s mother for him to get discovered and be sent back to Japan. 

Yuta knew, even at a young age, that his biological father was the well-known yakuza in town. Growing up, the people around would tell him that he resembled the old man’s eyes. It also doesn’t help that he used to frequent the Geisha house to visit his favorite, Yuta’s mom. 

He knew his father had money. But ever since Yuta was born, the yakuza leader never once came into the Geisha house again. He never once visited him, never even bought his mother out. The first time Yuta saw him was when his mother died and he just casually bought him out of the Geisha house. A young boy living in a house full of women with raging hormones isn’t a great sign, that was what he told Yuta. But a young boy living in a house full of violent men isn’t a great sign either. He saw people being killed, and blood splattered everywhere in the house. His father is ruthless and does not spare any life.  

When Yuta was sixteen, he decided to run away from everything and live a new life. 

It was a well-thought-out plan. He never knew if his father did look for him all those years but he didn’t care, as long as he could stay away from the old man’s life. As long as he wouldn’t be tagged as a yakuza’s son. 

Now, he is the vice president of the Suzaki group. And now that he’s back, Yuta is determined to get the president position from his father. 

A heavy sigh escaped his lips. But now that Y/N is on his team, his desire to be the company president has become less. He just wants to be the vice president and keep Y/N as his secretary. She seemed closer to him this way. 

Yuta thinks that he has an upper hand from Jung Jaehyun this way. His wife works for him eight hours daily. Technically, they spend more time together than she does with her husband. If possible, he saw her more this past week than when they were hanging out back then. And she didn’t change. Y/N would always forget to eat lunch especially when she’s immersed in her work so Yuta had to call for Haechan’s attention for him to ask his fellow secretary to eat. She would always stay at work late and come to the office so early. She wouldn't even complain even if he kept asking her for revisions.

Does she still have time for her husband? Is Jaehyun not clingy for her time? Because if that was him, if Yuta is the lucky person she got married to, he’d probably go to the office late and go home early to spend more time with her. He’ll probably just attach her to his hip just so they can spend all their waking moments together. Is Jaehyun already sick of her? Maybe Yuta still has the chance to snatch her away from him. 

It was a mystery. This is her husband’s party yet Y/N had told Haechan that she’ll just be waiting for them outside the hotel gates. She could easily just go inside the hotel with her husband. Besides, she knew about this hotel right? Yet, seeing her in that gorgeous black dress, he was glad that she didn’t come inside with her husband. His cheeks flared up, heart beating crazily in his chest as if it would burst. Even after all these years, it’s still her. 

Yuta casually opened the door of the backseat for her, letting her sit beside him in the car. Y/N obviously looked startled and Haechan, who was seated on the passenger seat, greeted her by saying that she looked lovely. For the first time, Yuta was grateful to have a chatty secretary in his life. The younger was sharing about how amazed he was at the hotel, even gasping at how far the gate was from the entrance. 

“It used to be farther,” both Y/N and Yuta claimed at the same time. Haechan’s eyes widened as the two just glanced at each other. “Have you been here before?” Both nodded which made Yuta lightly smirk. How could he forget that this was the exact place where they first met? But maybe that was just him. Surely, Y/N had more memories other than him in this place. She probably spent more time here with her husband, with its posh room and quality service. And that fact, itself, pissed him off. 

The driver opened the door for him and Haechan opened the door for Y/N. When the only female of their team held on to Haechan’s arms, he pursed his lips in annoyance. Even in the elevator heading to the ballroom, the two were just very chatty with each other. Y/N shared that the escargots are amazing and that Haechan should try them out but what she said next confused him, “I don’t know if they’ll serve wine, they have amazing red wine here.” 

Shouldn’t she know? This is a party held by Jung Jaehyun, her husband. Or, are they still married? 

He had always seen Jaehyun on the covers of magazines as the youngest chairman or one of the most successful multi-billionaires but there’s nothing about his wife or their married life together. He just assumed that she wanted their relationship low key but that would be impossible since with her intelligence and beauty, they could be tagged as the most powerful business couple. If the was him, once again, he would show off how amazing his wife is.

Yuta lightly glanced at her as she talked to the receptionist. Maybe they have broken up. He now has the best chance. 

“You can come in, Chairman Jung is ecstatic to meet you Mr. Suzaki.” Both Haechan and Yuta stared at the only girl who looked startled as well. “Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Nakamoto.” 

The high ceiling of the ballroom amused the youngest in the team, exclaiming that he had never been inside something as fancy as this. There were a lot of people, some were familiar faces from way before his nightclub days. Faces he had seen in magazines or newspapers. People who probably know Y/N from way before. But she remained glued to Haechan’s side, engaging in talks with the younger secretary. Is this her way to avoid these people? She could have declined to come here if she wanted to. 

Yuta thought that Jaehyun already knew who he was. Obviously, Y/N would have shared something about him right? That the stripper she once fooled with is now her boss. She even cried to her husband the first time they met, Yuta overheard that conversation. But the look on Jaehyun’s face is rather comical. He looked surprised and then confused at the same time, his eyes squinted as if taking a clear image of him. 

“Mr. Suzaki.” The party host greeted them and then glanced at the girl behind the person he just addressed. Jaehyun looked confused before smiling, dimples popping out that annoyed Yuta. He lent out a hand to shake, “I’m Jung Jaehyun from Jung Tradings.” 

“Yuta Nakamoto.” he introduced, shaking his hand. 

Jaehyun’s smile grew before he slipped his hand off him and then faced the other guy, shaking his hand. “And you must be Lee Haechan.” The younger one smiled widely. “You truly are a ball of sunshine.” Y/N giggled at the younger’s shocked face. “If you don’t mind, can I borrow Y/N for a second?” He lent a hand for her to take, claiming that he wanted to show her something. 

Haechan looked confused as Yuta carefully watched the couple walk while holding hands across the ballroom. “Does he know noona?” the younger asked as the older took a glass of champagne. 

Yuta downed the drink before taking another glass, “They’re married.” 

The secretary almost spat the drink he just took then stared at his boss as if he was joking then at the couple. “They look good together,” Yuta downed another glass of champagne. “Y/N noona hit the jackpot with a rich and handsome husband.” The older just rolled his eyes at that. He’s also handsome and rich. “But why would she work in our office if she’s the chairman’s wife?” 

He pursed his lips at that, “I don’t know.” Yuta claimed then stared deadpan at Haechan. “That’s why I want you to watch her every move.” 

“Oh, is that what you were doing?” Haechan asked which confused the older. “I thought you were smitten by noona. You can’t take your eyes off her.” What? That’s not true. What the hell is Haechan talking about? “There are rumors that you finally moved on from your first love because of noona.” Yuta chuckled before drinking his champagne. “Your favorability in the office came up when they thought you like a single mom then it turns out she’s married.” 

Huh? “A what?” 

“A single mom,” Haechan claimed as a matter of fact. “You do know that she has a son, right?” 

Yuta’s eyes were on the couple greeting someone. A son? They have a son together? Then it’s game over, right? 

True, this is Yuta’s first social event as a vice president of a company. As a Suzaki. But he’s not in the mood to mingle with some businessman or even introduce himself in their circle. Instead, he was seated in the hotel bar with a bottle of whiskey almost empty. How could one word affect him this much? A son. 

Y/N, the girl he loves, is now a mom.       

Her worry from way before is now a reality. Is that why she was glowing? Why she looks prettier? Motherhood might have looked really good to her. He just hates that he wasn’t there when that happened. He hates that all his reasons are now gone. He cannot do much to defeat the Jung tradings because realistically, he’s fairly a small company. He cannot steal the girl because they have a son together. 

Y/N as a mom would be such a lovely thing to see. 

Yuta hissed in annoyance before finishing the last gulp in his cup. Quickly, he tried to fill the glass when someone took the bottle from him. “You’re drunk.” He took the bottle away from the other’s grip but the girl just glared at him. “Stop drinking, sir.” 

He had to laugh while shaking his head. “Where is Haechan?” 

“I told him to look for you in the male restroom. I’ll call…” But before she could put the phone on her ear, he stopped her. Yuta leaned his head on her shoulder. His last attempt to find out if she was really true. That she’s now in front of him after all these years. His last attempt to keep his feelings for her. “Why did you drink so much, Yuta?” 

Yuta? He looked up at her, fingers of his right hand threading on her left hand. “I…”

“Noona!” Haechan called. Yuta sat up, removing his hold from her as if they were boiling hot. “You found hyung.” 

Y/N nodded. “Let’s take him home.” 

“Haechan can. You stay.” The girl wanted to revolt at that but the vice president continued in a cold voice, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

The younger guy was once again confused but followed his boss’ orders, leaving his fellow secretary looking at them in worry. 

Yuta took a heavy sigh, dragging his own feet away from her. This is it, huh? His last goodbye to his last love. How heartbreaking. 

—----

Y/N had been staring at her left hand the entire time she was inside the cab. She could still feel how warm those hands were. She could still smell his sweet scent. She thought he had changed a lot. But that guy earlier was still Yuta. Sweet, handsome, sexy, and warm Yuta. Maybe it was the pressure of being a vice president that turned his attitude colder. But there’s still the Yuta she knows inside that person. If possible, she thinks this new Yuta is even hotter. 

The girl shook her head. What the hell was she thinking all of a sudden? 

In those years apart, she was pretty sure that Yuta had found the girl of his dreams. He knocked her out pregnant in just a night together, he probably has a family of his own now. Because seriously, who would ever resist that gorgeous face and hot body? 

Even that morning, with the warm cup of black coffee with a hint of caramel in her hands, she could still feel the warmth of his hand threaded on hers from last night. It’s even warmer than the coffee itself. She probably just missed him so much.

Haechan entered the office, apologizing for working on a weekend. “On a brighter note, we could leave before lunch if we get the work done.” He chirped, confusing her. Even if it is a weekend, isn’t that against the company rules? Secretaries cannot leave without their boss’ permission. “Hyung is too hammered to come in today. He also cried a lot from being too drunk last night.” 

Y/N didn’t know whether to be jealous or be relieved. She had always wanted to see Yuta drunk. He did witness her in her drunken state once and he promised that one day he’ll show it to her, ending in just a night together. She was curious about whether he gets aggressive when he drinks or just sleeps as if nothing is happening. She was relieved that he only cried when drunk and that Haechan was there to take care of him. But what does he cry about? The company? His frustrations? She’s now curious about that. 

The younger secretary was so great with computers that the task of doing a presentation for Monday morning and inventory of products were instantly done. Y/N was glad that she had an amazing co-worker and that their teamwork was great. “Are you eating out for lunch?” Haechan asked, fixing his backpack. 

Y/N nodded, closing her computer. “My son is coming by so we’ll grab lunch together.” The younger only nodded, “Do you want to come with us?” The sentence came before she could even think about the situation. She wanted to take it back but Haechan was grinning widely. She didn’t want to break his heart but she didn’t want to explain anything to him as well. 

A heavy sigh escaped her lips, “Haechan, whatever you’re going to see…” she started then bit her lip in contemplation. How should she say this to him? “Could you please hide it from anyone?” The guy tilted his head to the side looking at her in confusion. 

The girl was grateful that the younger had never asked anything. She introduced Mark to her co-worker, even sharing that he takes care of her son whenever she’s at work. The story of when she was in Canada and his parents were her adopted family there was also brought up. Her talkative son was the one who brought up that Mark wanted to be a performer in the country so he came with them. 

Y/N thought that Haechan would be surprised. She even expected him to be mad. But his nonchalance in the situation scared her more. When he introduced Kenshin, he just smiled widely and then greeted the kid as if they had known each other for a long time. The young child even asked if their boss was evil which made Haechan nod at him.

Haechan had a young boy charm. His energy is off the roof and he jived really well with her son. Maybe it was also one of the reasons why she grew comfortable with the younger guy. Contrary to Mark’s calm energy who was strict with her son like a real brother, Haechan had a cheerful approach to him like a playmate. Even their interaction reminded him of her brothers from before. How were they? Are they still as close as before? She wished she had taken notes on how to take care of a young child. She wished she had seen Junyoung grow up. 

“Does hyung know?” Haechan asked then lightly glanced at Mark who was listening. He probably knows right? The older woman shook her head, drinking her coffee. “Do you plan on telling him?” But she only shrugged in response. 

It isn’t that she doesn’t want to tell him. That would save her an earful from Ken who kept on asking for his dad. But the said father has already reached a high status in his life. New money rich. And with the current situation, she doesn’t want him to think that she’s after his money. Kenshin was her mistake, her decision. She didn’t follow his number one rule. He asked her for condoms and she declined. She needed to take the consequences of her life decisions. Besides, if Yuta isn’t ready to have a child, she doesn’t want her son to endure a heartbreak caused by a person he badly wants to meet the most. 

They’re fine living this way. 

When Mark decided to leave, excusing that he had a small busking gig, Haechan came with him. The mother-son was just walking in the opposite direction when the young secretary asked, “Shouldn’t we do something?” Mark just gave him a puzzled look, raising his eyebrow at what the other claimed. “Help noona and hyung get back together.” 

“Do you think they’ll both appreciate that?” Mark claimed in a soft voice. “I heard your boss likes to torment noona. The other day she even cried because he asked her to repeat the report four times and then submitted the first one she had done.” 

Haechan rolled his eyes. “I’m not saying my boss is an amazing man. He’s an annoying jerk.” The younger complained, making Mark smile. “But I recently discovered that he’s only like that because he was jealous of noona and Jung Jaehyun.” 

“Jaehyun hyung?” 

“They’re married, right?" 

Mark even stopped in his tracks. “They’re not.” Haechan stared in question. “Something about Jaehyun hyung stopping the wedding and noona running away that they didn't get married.”   

The younger’s eyes were wide in shock. “No way. Hyung thought they got married and she moved on from him that’s why he’s acting like a pathetic jerk.” 

“And noona thought that your boss did move on from her that’s why he’s been cold towards her.” 

“When clearly he hasn’t.” 

The older squinted his eyes at the secretary, “How did you know?” 

The younger had a faint smile on his lips. “He kept on crying her name, saying that he missed her so much, when he was drunk last night.” The smile grew wider, “Mark, we can definitely do something to get them back together.” 

“How?” Haechan smiled knowingly, making Mark sigh. “But if Y/N noona or Kenshin gets hurt, I’m out of it, Lee Haechan.” 

The younger shook the older’s hand, nodding his head. “Welcome onboard, Mark Lee.” 

“We will bring back Yuta hyung and Y/N noona together.”  

[lostbookmark]

 MDNI 🔞

WHISPERED SECRETS MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST here

Summary: After four years, your sister's ex-boyfriend comes back into your life. Can you keep your entanglement a secret? Will the guilt eat you alive? 

Pairing:  Sisters ex Yoongi x Insecure F. Reader. 

Genre: SMUT, angst, hurt - comfort, romance. 

Warning: Explicit sex, fingering, Possessive Yoongi, swearing, reader is insecure, jealousy, punishment, unprotected sex, drinking, dirty talk, praising, degradation, spanking, teasing, hair pulling, arguments. Overuse of the name, baby. 

A/N: I know nothing about the production of music. Soooo…. just go with it.

Smut free chapter because I actually have to try and build a plot. 

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Monday morning, you found yourself at your desk at work. You work in accounting and your days are long, boring and your boss is horrible. Numbers eventually start to all run together the more you stare at your screen all day.  This is not what you had wanted to do in life. Art, you had loved art ever since you could remember. Yoongi had been supportive when he found out. You had been seventeen when he caught you drawing in your closet.  Your mom hated that you loved it. Saw it as a useless hobby.  She did everything she could to dissuade you from it. You always wondered where it could have taken you. It wasn't even just drawing or painting. You loved learning about it, reading about it. You always thought maybe you could be an art teacher or maybe do work on commission if you could get yourself good enough.  Yoongi, though, wanted to hear about your projects. He encouraged you to apply for art school. He shared your happiness when you got in. He was also there when it all fell apart.  Every day for you was always the same. Work, hang with Lisa and Jisoo, home and bed. Then dinner with your parents once a month. Repeat.  A very beige life with no change, no color, your pigments were bland…dull.  You missed the color that art brought you. Yoongi, however, has now interrupted your monotonous, beige cycle. A happy, colorful change to your life that you are still trying to navigate. 

You didn't run away this time. When you woke up with Yoongi the morning after he dragged you out of that party, he suggested breakfast. After some innocent and then not so innocent kissing, he took you to a little hole in the wall diner on the other side of town where the food was a little too greasy. It was great. You learned a lot about the new, older him. He changed his major in college  from business to music technology. He works for his friend Namjoon, a music producer and owner of Persona Records. While Yoongi did produce songs, he preferred writing songs. Telling you that was where his passion truly lied. He said that he really didn't have to deal with the artist's bullshit. Namjoon and another guy Hobi were the main producers and the “people pleasers” of the company.  While they dealt with demands and problems, he had his own quiet sanctuary. Namjoon wants him to be a partner in the company. He said financially he would make a lot more, but he doesn't want all that responsibility or the paperwork.  When you asked where Jimin fit into all of that, he said Jimin mainly dealt with event organizations, like concerts and promotions. It all sounded so extravagant. You're just an accountant, reading blurred numbers all day long. You were so inferior to him. 

A body slipped into the chair next to you, a bag dropping to the floor by your feet. Lisa sent you a knowing look. When you turn to look back at your screen, you swear you can practically hear her roll her eyes at you. 

“Did your phone stop working this weekend? Did you change your number?” She asked while logging into her computer, gum smacking away in her mouth. Her perfectly manicured fingers typed away. “I tried calling you all day yesterday. ALL DAY.”

“My phone died, sorry,” you lied. You knew exactly why she was calling. You didn't want to face the reality of sleeping with your sister's ex-boyfriend, not once but twice. If people didn't know, then did it really happen?  

“Yoongi huh? I didn't believe Jimin at first but then Kai gave me an earful about not telling him that you had a boyfriend.  Boyfriend? Boyfriend? This is brand new information to me. Yoongi, Y/N? Are you kidding me?” Her voice raised a little.  “Min Yoongi! I'm your best friend, why didn't you tell me? I only found out because Jimin saw Yoongi leaving with you. Were you ever going to say anything?” 

“SHHH!” Your other cubicle mate, Seungkwan, glared at you and Lisa.

“Does your family know about this?” Lisa asked, ignoring him, and you shook your head no. They could never know. You would be more ostracized than you already were. 

“SHHHH! You are very distracting.  I am asking you politely to keep your personal affairs to a minimum. “ Seungkwan looked serious, and you apologize. He was intimidating. Lisa doesn't care, though. 

“I'm not going to let this go,” she whispered. “Jisoo is going to meet us at your place after work…with wine.” 

“Great, can't wait,” you mumble.

Jisoo did indeed show up with wine. She and Lisa fluttered around your kitchen as you sulked on the couch. Your finger toying with a loose, frayed  thread on the arm. You bought it second hand when you moved out of your parents. It was an ugly pea green. You thought it was quirky. It was also all you could afford, but you were proud of your first adult purchase. It's probably time you should get a new one. They soon entered the living room and placed the wine glasses on your coffee table. The two women squeezed themselves together on your oversized chair across from you. You picked up your glass and filled it almost to the top, and Lisa laughed at you.

“Was the sex that bad,” she continued to laugh at you. “I could give you some tips.”  You rolled your eyes and blushed a deep red. “Or….was it that good? Everything you dreamt about?” 

“What’s going on,” Jisoo asked softly, ignoring Lisa's comments. 

“I told you,” Lisa said. “She's fucking Min Yoongi.” Leave it to Lisa to be so blunt about the situation. “How big is it?” Jisoo elbowed Lisa to be quiet. 

“Do not answer that. When did this start?” Jisoo asked. “I thought he left town a while ago. I don't even remember seeing him after he kicked your sister to the curb.”  

“My birthday,” you answer and swirl your wine around. “Lisa left me alone after she met Jimin. I ran into Yoongi outside, and he took me home. There's not really much to tell.”  You will never tell them about how he spanked you. 

“I'm sorry about that. However, I think you're lying. Kai literally said Yoongi's eyes were on kill mode. Have you seen how tall Kai is?” Lisa sighed. “I just want to make sure that he didn't take advantage of you. You know, because of your crush on him.”

“I never told him about my crush on him,” you say, shaking your head. 

“Oh, sweets,” Lisa said. “Everyone knew of your crush on him. It was kind of obvious.”

“What!” You exclaim, and your eyes move to Jisoo, who was giving you an apologetic smile. “This is awful. I'm so embarrassed. He never said anything…do you think he knows?” 

Is that why your sister pretty much started ignoring your existence?  Could she see that you were in love with her boyfriend? It would explain a lot. She stopped looking you in the eyes. Only would talk to you if your mom or dad made her. Why she was in such a hurry to move out of the house. Maybe it didn't really have anything to do with Yoongi. Maybe it was all you. There was no way your sister was threatened by you…absolutely not. Yoongi definitely did not reciprocate your feelings back then. He was just nice. You were just Y/N, his girlfriend's kid sister. A knock at the door disturbed your thoughts. Lisa got up and went to open the door. She always acts like she owns your place. 

“It wasn't that obvious,” Jisoo said, trying to calm you down. “You just always lit up when he was around. We just noticed it since we were close to you. Is this going to be serious? What are you going to tell your parents? Are you okay?”  

“He didn't do anything I didn't want,” you assured Jisoo. “My mom will flip out on me if she finds out. She's hated Yoongi since he broke her “baby's” heart. My dad probably wouldn't care one way or the other.” 

“Oh, Y/N,” Lisa called out. “Lover boy is here.” FUCK HER!

You watched as Yoongi steps into your living room. He hasn't been inside before and kind of looks out of place. The first time he took you home, you made him drop you off down the street. Your mom has been known to show up unexpectedly, especially around your birthday. She wouldn't hesitate to cause a scene even if it were outside. She would probably prefer an audience. The second time, he insisted he walk you to your door but never tried to enter. You watch him as he sets his glare to Lisa. You don't think he was ever a fan of her. If you ever got into trouble, she was always somewhere close by. You were just kids then.  Lisa, she just seems amused by it and smirks back at him. She was never intimidated by him. It always seemed like she knew exactly what buttons to push. It was her favorite hobby.  

“Welcome, Yoongi. What a wonderful surprise,” Lisa teased as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“Hey, thanks. Oh, by the way, maybe you shouldn't ditch your friends alone… at night… at bars anymore.” He snarked. “Jisoo,” he greets with a head nod. He turns to look at you. “I brought some food. Thought we could have dinner.” He holds up the bag of takeout. It’s chicken from your favorite restaurant. Did he remember that? Did he get the rolls, too? 

“Hello, Yoongi,” Jisoo greets. 

“That's great,” Lisa piped up. “I’m hungry. Though, you should thank me for doing that. It worked out for you, right? Heard you wore her out,” she teased. Yoongi glared harder, and she smiled innocently.  “Kai says hi.”  

“Yeah, you two should have dinner. We can finish this another day,” Jisoo said, standing up. Lisa was about to open her mouth. Jisoo grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of the apartment without so much of a goodbye. The two bickering friends could be heard even after your door closed. 

“Why are you friends with her?” He said, glaring holes into your door. 

“Um, yeah, this is great, thank you,” you say softly. You lead him to your kitchen and grab some plates and him his own wine glass. “It's my favorite.” 

“I know,” he said with a smile. Yoongi leaned into you and kissed you on the lips. “Sorry, baby, I didn't mean to interrupt your time with them. I should have called first.” 

“You didn't interrupt anything. I see them all time,” you explain, stepping away, placing the plates on your counter. Yoongi takes the wine glass from you. This feels a little weird. Him in your place making casual conversation. It feels very domestic. You like it, you like it with Yoongi. Your family won't let you have him if they find out. You take the bags from him, smiling when you look inside. There were extra rolls. “Let's eat.” 

You settle down on the floor at the coffee table. Eating in a comfortable silence with backs resting against the pea green couch. Yoongi makes sure to keep your plateful until you tell him to stop. This was something you always appreciated about him. The silence and no pressure to have any sort of conversation. You would often do your homework next to him in high school while he did his own thing. Your sister would often complain that he needed to take her out or spend more time alone together. He would always wait until you were done. Just in case you needed help. It was mainly because you would often space out, and he would have to remind you to finish. You didn't care at the time. You liked that he never made you feel inferior to her. Like you never came in second to her.  His presence was comforting and serene.  Unfortunately, you need to break the silence and have a conversation with him. He declared you as his this past weekend. Honestly, you weren't sure at all what that entailed. Were you dating? Fuck buddies? Did he want a financial advisor? You couldn't help with the last one.

“What’s on your mind,” he asked as he finished his plate. He drapes his arm around your back, resting it on the couch. “Is it Lisa? She puts me in a bad mood, too.” 

“No,” you say with a laugh. “This is going to sound stupid. I'm just confused…. just a little bit.” Yoongi looks at you patiently. “Are we dating…or..” You trail off. He starts laughing. This motherfucker is laughing at you. Your face heats. “Stop, don't make fun. You said some things in a ... .very heated moment. You probably don't even remember saying them.” 

“I'm sorry,” he says once he gets a hold of himself. “That’s what's bothering you?”

“Jisoo asked me if this was going to be serious. Obviously, I'm not asking for anything, but she made a good point. My family…” you start, but he interrupts you.

“I don't care about what your family thinks of me. I'm not stupid. Your mom called me plenty of names when… you know after. You know damn well I’m not a fan of her either.  If you want me to officially ask you to be my girlfriend, I will. Baby, you need to understand I considered you mine when I first took you home on your birthday. We will deal with your parents when it comes time.” Yoongi explains. You nod silently. Maybe  this doesn't have to be super complicated. “Don't stress yourself out over this. Come here,” he pats his lap. You climb carefully into his lap, and he helps you straddle him.  Yoongi takes your face in both of his hands. He doesn't let you look away.  “I know that us being together is not the most ideal of situations, but we're here….together. I won't let you face anything on your own. Trust me, I remember everything about that night. About both nights.” 

You nod your head in understanding. He lets go of your face and brings you into his body. It's the gentlest of hugs. It feels warm and safe, but there is still a part of you that can't give in fully. You still have some questions answered , but at the same time, you can't bring yourself to ask them. Why did they break up? Did he ever love her? How do you compare to her? You feel like you're going to have to hide him away forever. Can you live with such a heavy secret? 

“Why don't you hop in the shower while I clean up?” He suggests. “I’ll take care of everything.” 

"You don't know where anything goes,” you whisper into his neck. 

“I'll figure it out,” he whispers back. You pull back and look at him. You believe him. 

The hot water cascaded down your body.  You liked the temperature as hot as you could get it. The bathroom was almost pure steam by now. A light fog that dimmed the harsh bathroom lights, making it almost seem like a dreamy haze. It especially relaxed you after sitting hunched over at your desk all day. You are so caught up washing your hair, thoughts drifting into nothing, you didn't hear the bathroom door creak. Nor did you realize the curtain opened or how the extra body slipped in. It was only when Yoongi's hands landed on your hips that you jumped and let out a startled shriek. Your hands covered in shampoo go to cover your naked breasts. He just smirks at you.

“Why are you coving yourself?” He wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer. Your skin reddened by the water looks even redder against his own pale skin. “You do realize I've seen you naked before. That I have done some….risqué things to you.” He kisses your shoulder.

“That's…that…that's different,” you stutter. The shampoo from your head is starting to fall in your face. 

“Why?” He asks you with a chuckle as he wipes it away from your eyes. 

“We were doing things then,”you mumble. The memories bring fluttering to your stomach. Those butterflies, their wings flapping away. You look at him, memorized by the way he pushes his wet, silver hair out of his face. He looks ethereal, exquisite,  like he can have anyone one he wants, but he's here with you.  His eyes meet yours, and you feel those nerves all over again. You bite back a whimper. Yoongi hands go to your hair, taking his time to help you rinse the shampoo from your hair. Fingers massaging the base of your skull, gently pulling them through your wet, darkened strands. You sigh in pure satisfaction. 

“We are doing things now. We are just showering together,” he shrugged. He takes both of our hands that cover yourself and clasps them together with his own. Your bare chests pressed up against one another.  Leaning down, he kisses you. It's the gentlest of kisses, just the slightest press of his lips against yours. Yoongi pulls away and sighs. “I noticed that you don't have any of your art up.” 

“What?” You ask and lean up, trying to chase his lips. However, he wouldn't let you. He unlaces one hand and brings his thumb up to your bottom lip, gently rubbing it. The urge is strong to lick his thumb.  “My art? No, I haven't done anything since….” you trail off. “I don't even have supplies anymore.” 

Yoongi hums at that. “I unfortunately have an ulterior motive for being here. Namjoon needs me at a meeting,” he said. That completely woke you back up. He wants to talk about Namjoon…now! “I'm going to be gone for about five days. A week tops. He's been stressing out so much that it's stressing everyone else out.”

“Oh,” you say softly. You don't think it's fair. You seem like you're finally on track, and he has to leave. “A week?” 

“Just a week,” Yoongi confirms. He reaches for your body wash. Lathering his hands. He gently rubs your shoulders, gliding his hands down your back and up again. “I don't want to go. Namjoon says this is important, and hopefully, I don't have to leave again. I don't want to leave you.” 

“Will you call me?” You ask. Your eyes close. His hands are working miracles on your body. It's intimate, not sexual.  They never stray and stay above your waist. Your heart, though, it still beats just as fast. 

"Everyday," he promised. You believe him.

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Tagged Readers:

@unicornbabylover , @marimarvelfan

[junniieesbby]

Shut Up and Continue What You Started|Choi Beomgyu

Pairing: Non Idol Beomgyu x F!reader

Genre: Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Smut, Angst, Kind of Fluff.

WC: 1.6k

Rating: 18+ MDNI

Summary: When your childhood friend turned enemy sees you dance and giggle with one his best friends. He loses it, can't stand the sight of you with someone other than him. He goes to show you just how much he missed you and how incredibly sorry he was for treating you badly.

Warning: Mentions of Alcohol, Smut, Creampie, Implied Cockwarming. Let me know if I missed anything.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Nothing mentioned in this fiction represents any of the characters.

A/N: This is a very late post for my Secret Santa. @boba-beom surpriseeee it’s me Angel (although you already knew because I’m the last one to post haha). This was so fun to do part of me is nervous because I am writing this for one of my all time favorite writers here on tumblr and I wanted this to be really good! Everyone please check out all the other beauties Secret Santa posts @amoryeonjun aka @lovejoshua , @honajoong and @flwrseon 💗 give them lots of love 🥺

Angel I hope you like this👉🏻👈🏻

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

All you wanted to do was to wipe that stupid sexy smirk off his face. He was so annoyingly handsome but he got on your nerves any chance he had. Choi Beomgyu was handsome, irritating, and drove you mad.

You had known each other since the day he was born. Your moms were best friends and they had gotten pregnant at around the same time. Your mom gave birth a day before Beomgyu’s mom did, so you two were forced to be attached at the hip.

At one point he was your best friend. Someone you always went to for comfort. It all changed when you entered high school, it was like you didn’t even know him. He no longer talked to you, he stopped coming over to your house to hang out, and he even would glare at you for no apparent reason.

Here you were at your parents annual Christmas Eve party, with a glass of Prosecco in your hand staring at Beomgyu who’s all over his next girl toy. You hated to say it but it hurt, it hurt seeing someone you liked and missed be so close to another girl. This was the reason you decided to go to university in a city that was further from home. You couldn’t stand watching him mess around with yet another girl.

You wanted to forget about Beomgyu for tonight. If he liked to go and have fun with random girls and rub it in, so could you!

Walking to the dance floor you see your perfect target. Kang Taehyun, who happens to be one of Beomgyu’s Bestfriend. You walk up to his dancing form and slide your body to him. “Hey Tyun, long time no see” you say looking up at him. “Y/N!!! It’s been so long.” Taehyun said, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you in for an embrace.

“I know it feels like forever. Can I dance with you?” you tell him rather shyly. Taehyun was very handsome, kind and smart. Although you and Beomgyu had a falling out Taehyun would always check up on you to make sure you were good. “You don’t even need to ask, love” Taehyun said while placing firm hands on your waist dancing to the rhythm of the song.

You two continued to dance and chatted about how life has been when suddenly you felt a pair of arms rip you from Taehyun’s embrace. “You come with me” Beomgyu says sternly then turns and looks at a smirking Taehyun “and you, I’ll deal with you later” and without another word Beomgyu drags the two of you to your room.

Once inside he slams the door shut and locks it. “What the fuck was that for Beomgyu” you said folding your arms. “Why were you dancing with him like that?” Beomgyu looks at you clearly mad. You have never seen him this visibly angry before. “Like what? We were just dancing. And it’s none of your business who I dance with and how I dance with them.” You did not know what his problem was but he wasn’t going to talk to you like that after years of not talking.

He turns to walk towards you and you slowly walk backwards until your back hits the door. Beomgyu is standing mere inches from you as he leans down his nose brushing yours. “Smiles…” You froze at the nickname he just called you. The nickname he gave you when you were kids because he said you always smiled at him. “You do not get to come back into my life after years of not talking calling me nicknames like nothing happened between us, Beomgyu” The moment you finished your sentence he crashed his lips onto yours. Years of pent up frustration, hurt, and desire were poured into that kiss.

Beomgyu’s hands started to wonder cupping your ass and lifting you slowly pushing you into the door deepening the kiss. You had never been kissed like this before, this kiss was full of lust and passion. You slowly pull away from the kiss confused as to why he was doing this.

“Y/n…look I know I am a shitty friend for not talking to you all these years, But the reason for that was because I liked you. I liked you so much it started driving me crazy. I thought not seeing you would make things better, but clearly not. You have no idea how long I have wanted to slam my lips against yours.” Beomgyu said, as he slowly brought his hand to your cheek.

You stared at him, shocked at his words. Part of you wanted to scream and yell at him for not talking to you about his feelings, because he had no idea how you felt, and the other part wanted you to grab his collar and smash your lips to his. You didn’t feel like arguing and that kiss had you wanting more. The latter of the options won as you grabbed his collar bringing him closer to you whispering “Shut up and continue what you started”.

Beomgyu smirked at your words as he kissed you passionately bringing you to your bed. “Fuck angel you look so sexy in this tight red dress Been wanting nothing more than to fuck you in it” He slowly starts to leave kisses on your neck going to your breast. He pulled your dress down a little so your cleavage could fall out. “I wish I could take my time with these beauties, but that's for another day. The dress stays I want to fuck your pretty cunt while you wear it.” He said pulling your panties down and tossing them to the side. He unzipped his pants and let his cock out stroking it a few times before he let it slide through your drenched folds. Your whines and whimpers were music to his ears. “Beomgyu, hurry up and fuck me stop the teasing” That earned you a slap to your cunt.

“Be patient baby, i've been wanting your pussy for years let me enjoy it” He didn’t even let you respond, he slid his cock in with ease. “Fuck baby you’re so wet and tight I could spend the rest of my days in your cunt” His dirty words caused you to clinch which earned a grunt from him. “Beomgyu, so good…so so good” That is all you could say your brain too fuzzy to comprehend anything other than the delicious cock that is sliding in and out of you.

Beomgyu’s hand came up to twist and play with your nipples as you reached down to start rubbing your folds for a faster relief. He quickly slapped your hand away. “You will cum with my cock and my cock only” He started to move faster. You needed him closer to you, you grabbed his tie and pulled him smashing your lips on him. Beomgyu’s cock twitched; he thought that was the hottest thing he'd ever seen. Your kiss became sloppier as your orgasm was approaching.

“You close angel?” He asked you, but he knew he could feel you clench around him. All you could do was nod. His thrusts continued but they became messy. He reached between the both of you as he was getting there and pinched your clit which sent you over the edge. Your legs started to shake from the stimulation. After a few more thrusts Beomgyu came. He leaned down and gave your forehead a kiss whispering “You did so well for me Angel”.

As he was getting up you pulled him by the collar again. “Stay, just stay please I need you to be as close to me as possible” You didn’t want him to leave you anytime soon. “I was just going to clean you up baby, but I will stay. I will never ever make the same mistake of leaving you again” He flipped the two of you so he was laying on his back. One hand playing with your hair and the other rubbing your back. “Merry Christmas Beomie…I am still mad at you, but i'm glad to be in your arms” You nozzle your head in the crook of his neck. “Merry Christmas my Angel, I am sorry I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. And you will only be in my arms from now on.” He grabbed your hand that was placed on his neck and gave it a kiss. You both slept soundly that day and woke up to a white Christmas.

[lesbianrobin]

ok since people r very into my chris fic i shall share some of my random behind the scenes thoughts while writing it:

adriana has literally been waiting her entire life for her obviously gay older brother who joined the army to avoid his wife and then moved to los angeles to be a sexy firefighter to COME OUT ALREADY and by the time we meet her in this fic she is like Vibrating with the need to be like EDDIE IS GAYYYYYYY ARE YOU PEOPLE BLIND??? which is why it takes like absolutely zero prodding from chris for her to spill all of eddie's business. i think when eddie was little he was a very obviously gay little boy and as he grew up he learned how to Be Normal but adriana never forgot and she's like deeply sad about it.

chris is So fucking miserable at his grandparents' house he misses video games so bad. i couldn't find a way to really incorporate this without it feeling like a cheap "look he's a TEEN BOY" thing but yeah the second he gets back home he is slamming that headset on and gaming until eddie tells him he has to take a break or he'll burn his eyes out of his sockets.

there are a Lot of songs on buck and eddie's joint depression playlist that i listed and then cut for practicality's sake but if there's any like interest in that i could maybe put together + link the full playlist for y'all?

buck's "maddie" playlist is entirely music he listened to growing up bc it makes him think of her. as a younger sibling my music taste from birth to like. age fifteen ish. was just wholly whatever my older sister listened to and i think buck is the same way. i don't think buck necessarily listens to this playlist on his own very often but if he's hanging out with maddie and/or babysitting jee-yun he'll put it on because it makes him happy to enjoy some 90s/00s nostalgia with his best girls. sometimes he'll play it in the car when he's driving chris somewhere because he wants to carry forward some of those good memories he has with maddie with chris.

buck and eddie's texts were written in order to coincide with each other! eddie texts more frequently than buck but i think if you pay attention you can sometimes tell which days buck Also sent chris a text bc they match. some of them were sent specifically in the wake of very emotionally taxing shifts where they both wanted so badly to call chris and beg him to come home but they knew that wouldn't go well and they didn't want to make chris feel guilty so they tried to play it cool.

speaking of buck and eddie: i don't think that eddie's conversation with chris is necessarily the First step in eddie realizing he's gay or moving toward something romantic with buck. keep in mind that chris has been gone for at least two weeks by the time he talks to either of them, and buck and eddie spend the vast majority of their time together. this fic is restricted to chris' pov, and he has no way of knowing whether, say, buck and tommy broke up, or whether his dad has been thinking about some things differently since he's been gone. buck and eddie Also have to spend twelve hours in a car together just the two of them between the end of the fic and their reunion with chris. this is not me saying that buck and tommy DID break up or that buddie got together while chris was away (i don't actually have a solid "canon" for where they're at), just that i intentionally left space for a wide range of possibilities due to chris' limited knowledge of what's going on with them!!

i kinda intentionally did not delve too deeply into the psychology of the diaz parents here because i think their behavior is a bit inscrutable to chris. the vast majority of his memories of them are from when he was really little, and therefore i think he doesn't actually know them very well as people. he knows that there's some tension between them and eddie, but prior to this fic he never really bothered to question Why. all he knows is that his grandparents will probably come and get him if he calls, and that it'll hurt his dad's feelings, and in the immediate aftermath of the kim debacle that's all he cares about. once he's in el paso, he starts noticing some things that make him a bit uncomfortable, but he never does determine for sure what their motivations and opinions are about this whole situation, whether they're treating him a certain way bc he's the grandkid or bc of his cerebral palsy, and whether their treatment of eddie really does stem from homophobia or not. at the end of the day he's thirteen years old and i wanted to leave his grandparents' True Selves as a bit of a mystery because 1. i don't think They necessarily know why they do what they do and 2. i don't think there's any one answer that would be satisfying.

chris literally had zero intention of saying anything to eddie about the Gay Thing he just is very much thirteen years old and emotional and he fundamentally Trusts his father to never like. lash out at him for saying something like that. so he doesn't try too hard to hold it back and impulsively says Hey Dad Are You Gay Maybe because he's never gone so long without talking to his dad before and he's just bursting with thoughts and feelings. he's not even trying to do a buddie matchmaking thing it's just that the easiest way to make his argument is to be like (points at buck).

[animazi]

icl i fundamentally disagree with the 'oh the acolyte shows anakin could have left the order anyway actually so he's so much worse bc he had an easy way out the whole time' discussions I've been seeing, because, like. literally why is this even a topic of discussion? ok ok hang with me here, I'm doing a list.

there is literally nothing in the prequels that suggests this is ever an option for him. up until shmi's death he is happy with the order - most of the problems he expresses come specifically from his relationship with obi-wan not the jedi generally, so why would he want to leave. once shmi dies, sure I getcha. his mum died and the jedi have a significant hand in that, and then he immediately breaks the code and does a massacre. however, and some may have missed this, its a fairly small plot point, the clone wars begin. anakin is not only never characterised as the sort of guy who would back out of this conflict (esp since he was involved from the get go), but also there is literally no time between anything - aotc and rots take place over such short time spans, comparatively; we see quite literally All the events happening at once.

so why doesn't he quit in tcw/rots? again. there is a war on and he is directly involved. tcw shows him as having made personal connections with the clones, and if there's one thing about anakin that everyone should be able to agree on its that he sure has attachments. also, again, rots takes place over such a short span of time and he is fairly clearly not in the best place in like fucking any of it

it probably wouldn't even fix anything bro. anakin is not the central turning point of the war, not really. that's palpatine. with or without anakin palpatine still gets the war, and realistically if anakin leaves the order then war breaks out, he is going to turn to palpatine as one of the only people he is close to, and ergo probably falls anyway. maybe he doesn't kill the younglings but like. shit still happens, jedi still get order 66'd

No Please Understand One Busy And Isolated Woman Is Not A Full Support Network Stop It. ok so. padme isolation is something that I fully see in the films. I will not yap on about that now, but take it as read for this point (although. even if she has a great and healthy support network that is not the issue! you are still saying that padme, who has a very busy job and her own life regardless, should functionally drop everything to support anakin). a key part of support networks is that they are a network aka not one woman. look me dead in the eyes and think anakin and obi-wan (already not having a great communicative relationship) are still talking after he leaves. go on. try. realistically speaking once the war starts anakin is in an, if anything, worse position - his fatherbrothermentor is out there fighting and he cannot help, his wife is barely home, the senate is always busy, and he is so so jobless (again. here is where palpatine would swoop in...bro cannot win fr fr). and Again, One (1) Padme Should Not Be Responsible For Dealing With The Entirely Of Anakin's Issues. stop it.

I don't actually have a full point 5 rn I just like it when the numbers do this :3

so bonus not-quite point: tcw and the acolyte both explicitly say the jedi don't prep you for the outside world if you leave the order, transferable skills etc etc BUT ALSO does your ex-jedi have any records of employment? any space gcses or a-levels or space degrees? a letter of recommendation? are they actually skilled enough in say mechanics/engineering to be able to survive in a world where droids exist and clearly have a huge presence in those sectors? any any money to help them get a flat or smth (not applicable in anakin's case but worth saying anyway)?

in short. I don't think it's a fair point to make when criticising anakin. it relies on a really weird reading of the prequels that misses a) the war, b) palpatine, c) the inherent misogyny of putting the wellbeing of anakin, guy who is hanging on the same thread as my sanity after exam week, entirely in the hands of one woman, d) the lack of regard for how support networks are, in fact, networks, e) how fast everything happens in the prequels

[cruyuu]

265 is an insane chapter. i can't move on from it. yuji and sukuna being twins, fishing, shooting arrows... yuji's sad eyes after sukuna's "i feel nothing"... like am i insane for thinking that yuji really wanted to get sukuna to open up there??? there's no other explanation for that chapter otherwise. god these two 😭😭

Sorry for a late answer anon!

I already ranted a bit about that chapter and tried to make sense of it. You are right, anon. There is absolutely no need for Yuuji to go that far for someone like Sukuna and then say... "I loathe you." as an explanation because it makes zero sense. He could've ripped him away from Megumi like 20 times already, and he claims he can kill him, but (just like Sukuna), I guess he has to hate on him (in a very fond way) first at least because priorities lol.

Because spending time together and trying to change that person's mind, talking with him constantly as if just wishing he would join in and say something about himself is the definition of loathing an individual, right? Silly me for thinking that was interest. For thinking that was care. For thinking that Yuuji wants to hear his thoughts and see how he thinks. Wants to try and understand him. Learn more about him. Otherwise, exactly like you asked, why? What's the point? There's no purpose to 265 and it could've easily been replaced by 266 wholly. He could've said all of that to a particular individual who needs it (and who Yuuji misses), and funnily enough, it would fit the shoe more so than it would with Sukuna. Why does Yuuji still care about the person who ruined his life enough to perform his very first Domain Expansion and spend nearly an entire day with him, hanging out? Really weird.

Like 266 just confirmed that. The sheer contrast between the chapters is just insane. I have a post about that which is half-written because I can't even put everything into words properly but I'll try my best to finish it when I'm not that busy to show you exactly what I mean.

Also the fact that Sukuna looks exactly like Yuuji, not in his true form but dressed like him, totally like his twin. That Yuuji is taking him everywhere, commenting on everything, from food, down to animals, seemingly as if to try and find a way to engage him in conversation yet Sukuna keeps his mouth shut. He even chooses to shoot arrows with him, something which is more Sukuna's thing than Yuuji's, just to get him to show anything at all. Yuuji's an open book here, and he tells him even that he considers these little things important (his speech about roles and life), but Sukuna brushes him off.

And Yuuji looks sad? Disappointed? because Sukuna remains closed off. His behavior towards Yuuji is unexplainable, and even his hatred is... just that. Nothing. Even if Sukuna keeps contradicting himself at every turn when it comes to Yuuji, treating everyone the same but not him, there's still no explanation about why he does that.

And this is why Yuuji talked about meaning in life. He was practically explaining his newfound viewpoint to Sukuna, because he was expecting an answer regarding his hate. Something like "Okay but there must be a reason for your uncontrollable hatred when it comes to me. Can you tell me what it is?" because to Yuuji, everything means something. It's not just that– some pointless, meaningless thing.

Sukuna's response is "I understand, but I do not care." yet he got pissed off when he recognized Yuuji's crestfallen expression as pity. Like why is he even mad about that? I thought he only lived for himself and didn't care about anything. I thought he felt nothing. I thought he didn't live to understand others, yet he cannot understand Yuuji and his expression makes him mad.

265 seems to expose Sukuna as a feeler in denial, who clearly has a problem with Yuuji's way of looking at him, but also generally has a problem with understanding Yuuji (still). Even though these two understand other people, with similar viewpoints, they're stuck when it comes to each other. Sukuna loathes weak people and yet he compliments everyone who is weaker than him. He calls them strong. Everyone except Yuuji.

One of my friends thinks Sukuna's anger towards Yuuji is because Yuuji cannot seem to hate Sukuna like he hated Mahito, which is a very interesting observation, ngl. It feels like no matter what Sukuna does, Yuuji will still find a way of pardoning it, while with Mahito he never did such a thing. He showed pure coldness. The scene of Mahito losing showcases Yuuji appearing cold-blooded, further exemplified by the prey/predator imagery and winter. Truly no notion of kindness. With Sukuna, that doesn't seem to be the case considering... well.. the entirety of 265. Sukuna had even done worse than Mahito and continually promises to Yuuji to do worse, only to ignite hate, but is spared of real, genuine, absolute hatred. He still gets a chance. He still gets, "Come back to me." He gets "pitied".

And that's the very thing I tried hard to figure out– the whole "pity" thing– because Yuuji doesn't appear to be pitying Sukuna. It's something else. It's something way more closer and kinder than that. It may appear cold and like "pity" to Sukuna, while to us, it is presented differently. This is because paneling is extremely important!

When Yuuji states "if this is what all that anger had amounted to" we, the readers, see him be sad, but Sukuna doesn't see that expression. He's looking ahead and is just listening to him. By his voice alone, he comes to a conclusion and asks if Yuuji is pitying him and when he turns to look at him, Yuuji's face is shrouded in darkness until the panel where we are met with the coldest way of pitying someone known to mankind, where Yuuji confirms his thoughts, yet still offers him a chance to still be spared.

That is Sukuna's explanation regarding what Yuuji feels, not what Yuuji truly feels and it doesn't entirely make sense because to pity someone is to feel sadness or sympathy for someone's unhappiness or bad situation. How can it be pity when Yuuji doesn't even know his situation? When Sukuna isn't unhappy nor in a bad situation? Plus he doesn't even know anything about him? If anything it feels like Yuuji is mourning the fact he has to kill him (that that is his "bad situation" in this case) and cannot reach him, that they cannot co-exist and that yes, this is what he's feeling sad about.

You could, also, argue differently. That it is precisely that– because he has no explanation for anything and keeps him in the dark about himself, and continually just keeps pushing him away. That he cannot care for him. Hell, even Yuuji's mindset which clashes heavily with Sukuna's is enough of a reason why.

We (the readers) see Yuuji be sad while Sukuna doesn't and Yuuji confirms his thoughts instead of offering a more fitting explanation because what is the point? Sukuna had already stated "He doesn't feel anything" so he won't get nor understand what Yuuji feels.

The pure misunderstanding is in focus between these two in that chapter. The whole "pity" which is, in fact, not that, because otherwise Yuuji wouldn't be offering Sukuna to come back to him, but would instead just try to kill him, not just keep giving him chances and allowing him to live and cause more mayhem than he already did.

But still, the whole insanity of this chapter comes from Yuuji's behavior towards Sukuna. Like why think of changing perspectives, of spending time trying to understand and offering that very same person (who had taken the very person you claim to care about) life and yet, when it comes to that other person, you're saying "it's okay if you choose to die even though I would be lonely without you"? It's so fucking absurd. You want someone you hate to live more so than you want someone you care about to? You're telling your entire life story to a person who never gave a shit about you to... change his perspective on life? Yet you're doing nothing to change the mind of someone who you'll be lonely without? Insanity.

So yeah, anon. You can see how crazy it all is when you really think about it. I would really love it if we can finally see these two being honest with each other because that seems to be this big, big issue here, where everyone is talking for them (even the story), instead of you know, them.