#i got to do a very satisfying Per My Last Email

[bean-pronounced-bawn]

I hate conversations in which you tell someone "hey I did xyz" and their response is "hmm have you tried xyz?"

Like I went to the doctor a bit ago and was like "hey I've been told to monitor Thing and if it did Thing to come see a doctor and I monitored Thing and it did Thing and therefore I am here talking with you" and my doctor went "hmmm I see, well let's try monitoring Thing and if it does Thing we can then take further steps" and I was like ????????

And at work I emailed service bc their phone line wasn't working and I had multiple people try the number to make sure it wasn't user error and when I emailed I was like "hey I'm emailing about this because me and coworkers A and B tried to call The Number many times and it wasn't going through" and service emailed back being like "proper channels for this are calling The Number, your supervisor should have showed you how to call The Number" and I was like ????????

[smithjenshiusa]

How To Increase Sending Limit On Cash App?

Cash app is one of the prime applications specifically launched by square Inc. We enable buyers to utilize their cell phones. This can be effective when users are required to pay at merchants, gas stations, and others. For instance, a cash app account is easy to set up and transact in a hassle-free manner. At the very first, you are required to learn how to set up a cash app account then you can increase Sending limit on cash app just by following a couple of easy steps.

How To Setup Up And Increase limit on Cash App?

As you know about cash app now its time to focus on How To Increase Cash App Limit? So, follow the given steps to Setup up and Increase limit on cash app.

Step: 1- Go to the play store.

Step: 2- Go to the search bar to the Square cash app & download it accordingly.

Step: 3- Enter the details (E-mail address and mobile number) and tap next.

Step: 4- Now, enter the verification code you received by text.

Step: 5- Confirm your first and last name.

Step: 6- If required, Add a VISA or MasterCard details accordingly.

Now your Cash app account is ready for a transaction. It allows Sending limit on cash app wisely.

To increase limit on cash app you have to verify your identity by giving your full name, date of birth, and last four digits of your SSN. To verify an account user must be 18 years old.

You might ask to provide additional information if the Cash app was unable to verify your identity by full name, date of birth, and last four digits of your SSN.

After Following All The below-mentioned Steps You Are Ready to Increase Your

Sending limit on cash app

cash app daily limit

cash app withdrawal limit

cash app transfer limit

About Cash App Limits:

The cash app sending limit is set to 250 USD for a week.

The cash app limit for receiving money is set to 1000 USD, however, the period is 30 days.

As per the cash app age limit, a user must be 18 or more years old. If in any case, your age is less than 18 then your account will be completely terminated by the Cash App authority.

Till your account is not authorized completely, your cash app limit will be 250 USD.

After the successful verification process, the cash app sending limit is 7500 USD every week, and no restriction on the receiving amount.

How To Increase Sending Limit On Cash App?

When you are not completely satisfied with the current increase limit on the cash app then you can increase the limit by following the below instructions:-

Open your system or a device and visit the Cash app.

Complete the login and verification process by following the above steps.

For the verification process, then you are required to offer the following details:-

Your name

Date of birth

The last four digits of the SSN

So, it is must to Enter all other additional information and fill the request form to increase the Cash app limit. After verification, your Cash app sending limit will be increased accordingly, and no restriction on the receiving amount.

How Do I Access My Old Cash App Account?

If you have lost your old Cash App account, then do not worry anymore about it. Today we are discussing the best tips to access your old Cash App account. It is easy to access the old Cash App account now. So, let’s move forward to discuss the Method to access my old Cash App account.

Method To Access My Old Cash App Account

It is a must to have immediate access to your Cash App registered email address or mobile number.

First, visit the Cash App login page.

Then, look for the “Forgot Username” option.

Now, enter your email address or mobile number with your account.

Once the email or mobile number will be verified then the username will be displayed on the device screen.

Finally, you have got the username details for your old Cash App account

Now, follow all the required steps to set a new password for your account.

Limit on how much I can transfer or receive?

Increase your Cash App transaction limit by verifying your account.

Basic Cash App account has approximately has$ 250 sending limit weekly and approx. $1000 receiving limit monthly.

But after the verification, the account limit will be upgraded to approx$7,500 sending limit per week and an unlimited receiving limit.

A limit increase requires some data i.e. full legal name, the last four numbers of your social security number, and date of birth.

How to Authenticate my Identity on Cash App?

Authentication on Cash App means sharing your personal information. This is quite a simple and easy method. As mentioned above, we have already discussed the verification process. Spend a minute to read the steps thoroughly and identify the benefits of Cash App to the biggest level.

Cash App Charges

If you transfer money as a personal account there are no transaction charges required. For business transactions, you have to pay a 2.75% transaction charge. However, Normal cash out is free, it normally takes 3-5 business days to complete the transaction, For instant cash out 1.5% charges are applied. For sending money from a credit card 3% charges are applied per transaction.

To Conclude:-

So, here we are done with today’s tutorial: How To Increase Send Limit On Cash App? You will find all the information here. However, the information is quite useful and effective. If any doubt is left in your mind, contact and ask for more clarification at the 24hrs Cash App customer service.

Frequently Asked Questions:- Increase Limit on Cash App

Is there a limit on the cash app?

Yes. There is a limit on the cash app. The Cash app sending limit is 250 USD per week if the account is not verified, and for a verified account, the Cash app sending limit is 7500 USD per week.

What is the limit on the cash app for the user under age 18?

The user under 18 years of age can not create a cash app account. If they create then their account will be automatically terminated by the authority of the cash app.

Does the cash app have a receiving limit for the verified account holder?

No, there is no receiving set by the cash app for the verified account holder. They can receive amounts without encountering a cash app receiving limit.

How to verify the identity on the Cash App to increase the Sending limit on the cash app?

The Cash App offers limited funds to the user with an unverified account. For them, the cash app withdrawal limit is 250 USD per day. To increase the cash app withdrawal limit, the user needs to complete the verification process.

Which account holder can get a cash app weekly limit of 7500?

The verified account holder will get a cash app weekly limit of 7500.

What Is Cash App Sending Limit After Verification?

After successful verification, you can send $7500 weekly and receive an unlimited amount.

What is Cash App Daily Spending Limit?

You can send up to $250 within 7 days and receive up to $1000 within 30 days period with an unverified Cash App account. While you can send up to $7500 per week and can receive an unlimited amount on your verified Cash App account.

How would I check my character on the Cash App to create my money application limit?

To confirm your character on Cash App to create the Cash App limit, you’ve got to offer your complete name, date of birth even as the last 4 digits of your Social Security Number.

You may get to give extra data if not checked on the primary endeavor. Additionally, you ought to be at any rate 18 years old to possess the choice to urge checked records on Cash App.

How do I verify my identity on the Cash App to increase my cash app limit?

To verify your identity on Cash App to increase limit, you need to provide your full name, date of birth as well as last 4 digits of your Social Security Number. You may need to provide additional information if not verified on the first attempt. Moreover, you must be at least 18 years of age to be able to get a verified account on Cash App.

How to increase the cash app limit?

If you want to increase limit on the cash app, you have to verify your account by providing your full name, date of birth, and the last 4 digits of your SSN. Without verification, you can send $250 weekly and receive $1000 in a month.

[yukidragon]

Our Life Snippet - Lazy Morning Intimacy

So, who’s ready for an extra long serving of shameless fluff from the first draft of my fan novelization of Our Life: Beginnings & Always? My philosophy in writing this is if I can add some more fluffy cuddly moments, I absolutely will, and the Step 3 moment Reflection offers one such opportunity right at the very start before, well, those of you who have played this moment know what happens later.

Spoilers for those who have not played the Step 3 DLC! If you don’t want to be spoiled, don’t read any further! If you don’t mind spoilery stuff, well, don’t let me stop you, but I highly, highly encourage you to play through the game before reading any of this.

As always, thanks go to @gb-patch for their wonderful game and their lovely feedback for my work, as well as everyone who likes, reblogs, and comments on these clips I’m posting here. You are all awesome.  💖

...

It wasn’t often that Jamie had the chance to enjoy breakfast at the Holden house. Ever since their parents decreed that they were ‘too old’ for sleepovers, she and Cove didn’t have many opportunities to enjoy that particular meal together, which made today a rare treat. It wasn’t especially fancy fare, but it was lovely to be able to spend time with her boyfriend almost as soon as she woke up. She was glad she impulsively asked if he wanted to have breakfast with her when they exchanged their usual good morning texts.

After a pleasant meal filled with light conversation and tasty food, Cove invited Jamie to retreat to his room to relax and let the lazy morning linger before any big activities began. That was, if they didn’t just decide to take it easy for the rest of the day. Neither of them had any plans in particular, with no prior commitments with friends, family, or work to distract them from just spending the day together. It wasn’t officially a date day, per say, or at least neither of them called it that yet. So far, they just decided to do whatever came to mind while enjoying each other’s company.

Of course, the first thing that came to Jamie’s mind was to cuddle with her boyfriend. When Cove sat down onto the bed, she didn’t hesitate to take a seat beside him, leaning into him. He hummed happily in approval and looped an arm around her to pull her in even closer.

A mischievous smile tugged at her lips as a new thought came to mind, and Jamie leaned in even closer. Cove raised an eyebrow at expression, only to yelp when she unexpectedly pushed her weight into him and tipped him back onto the bed. She fell along with him, giggling as they tumbled onto the mattress

Cove let out a chuckle of his own once he recovered from his surprise. “When I said we could relax, I didn’t mean going back to bed,” he said with a wry smile. Even still, he allowed her to nudge him gently back to the headboard so that they could both lounge comfortably on the bed properly with their heads resting on the pillows side by side. 

Jamie flashed Cove a satisfied grin before she snuggled up against his side, nuzzling her cheek against his as she basked in his gentle warmth. “You also said to make myself comfortable,” she teased, her eyes sparkling playfully as she rested her arm across his chest. “I’m very comfortable like this.”

Cove felt his heartbeat quicken, and he smiled back fondly at Jamie, nuzzling her cheek in return. “Me too,” he said softly.

Though maybe he was a little too comfortable.

Cove couldn’t help but be aware of the fact that they were both lying in his bed together. A prickling of nerves rose up that he quickly did his best to tamp down to not ruin the intimate moment they were sharing. It was fine, no big deal, he told himself. They were both fully dressed, on top of the sheets, and it was broad daylight. They cuddled plenty of times like this before on sofas and the ground. Heck, this was nothing compared to when they shared a bed when they were younger.

The flickering of nervousness didn’t escape Jamie’s notice. She softened her expression and reached up to gently run her fingers through her shy boyfriend’s hair. She had intended to steal a kiss or two and see where that would take them, but she decided that could wait until later. Just enjoying this moment with Cove was enough for her.

The touch was soothing, and Cove slowly started to relax as he leaned into Jamie. The anxious air that had threatened to pull him out of the moment gradually dissipated as her comforting warmth slowly settled in. Soon, he felt at ease enough to slip his arm back around her, which she happily used as her new pillow. He couldn’t help but smile at seeing the content expression on his partner’s face as she smiled softly back at him.

A comfortable silence washed over the pair as they simply enjoyed the quiet moment of intimacy. At some point, Jamie went from stroking Cove’s hair to toying with it. His ponytail limited her in how much she could card her fingers through his hair, but there were plenty of long locks to ripple between her fingers.

It wasn’t the first time Jamie got the impulse to play with her boyfriend’s hair. Even before he was officially - or even unofficially - her boyfriend, she couldn’t help but want to run her fingers through those pretty pale green strands. When they were younger, Cove would jokingly try to avoid her hands, but always ‘failed’ to escape in the end, allowing her to have her way. Sometimes she teased him back by pretending to give up, and he would always pout adorably, which she would immediately chase away with a satisfying ruffle of his hair.

Occasionally, Jamie would go beyond playing to actual styling. She was no professional, but it was fun to wind her boyfriend’s hair into a braid or two sometimes. Cove never minded, even if the braids rarely lasted that long after she was finished making them. It also didn’t escape her notice that he would sometimes shiver or let out an adorable pleasured little mumble when she raked her fingers along his scalp. It was an enjoyable experience for both of them, and sometimes she suspected that was one of the reasons why he let his hair grow as long as he did.

Jamie had no such grand designs now. Today she simply basked in the freedom to enjoy the feeling of his soft hair sliding between her fingers as she listened to the happy noises her partner occasionally let slip.

Although much more at ease, Cove couldn’t help the small traces of nervous energy that left him with the need to do something with his hands. He ran his thumb across her shoulder with the hand that was limited by Jamie resting on the upper part of his arm. With his freer hand, he decided to return the favor she paid to him and ran his fingers through her long deep blue hair, starting with stroking back her bangs before sliding his hand down along the entire length of her hair until he reached the ends at her hips. The feeling was soft and silky, and she sighed softly at the attention.

On impulse, Cove poked one of the small buns on top of his girlfriend’s head. Space buns were her preferred hairstyle of choice nowadays, and there was something satisfying about poking them that he couldn’t quite explain. Maybe it was the feel of them, or the way the bunched up hair bounced when poked that did it, but most likely it was because of the amused looks Jamie gave him whenever he did. She wore one such expression now, and he couldn’t help but chuckle a bit before giving her bun another playful poke.

Entertained, Jamie let Cove have her way with her buns, poking and prodding them as he pleased. The potential for innuendo wasn’t lost on her, but she let it go unsaid. As fun as it would be to make him flustered by suggesting that he might enjoy playing with a different set of buns she had even more, she didn’t want to interrupt the light, playful moment.

Jamie would just save that little bit of wordplay for later, preferably when the mood was good enough that Cove might take her up on the invitation.

Despite the steamy thoughts that skirted through her mind, Jamie did her best to focus on enjoying the lazy moment between them. It was lovely to just share such casual intimacy with Cove.

Jamie wasn’t alone in trying to ignore her more hormonal urges. As much as Cove enjoyed playing with her hair, focusing on touching her as he did made it impossible for him to stop thinking about the fact that they were both lying on his bed together. He was keenly aware of the gentle warmth of her body pressed against him, how soft and inviting her pink lips looked as she smiled at him.

Eventually, Cove realized he needed something else to occupy his hands if he didn’t want to risk disrupting the peaceful moment. Shifting about a bit, he fished his cell phone out of his pocket. Although Jamie raised an eyebrow at that and at being displaced from her cozy spot when he moved around, she held no objections as he turned his phone on and busied himself with it. Instead, she simply readjusted her position to get comfortable once he was settled again.

Sifting through missed texts and emails, Cove soon managed to distract himself from the urges that ruffled his nerves and relaxed back into the moment. He spotted a number of texts he missed from his dad, and for a moment he wondered if everything was okay until he realized Cliff just sent him a bunch of images last night.

A warm smile graced his face as Cove slowly scrolled his way through the photographs, nostalgia washing over him. Each photo brought him back to the moment it was taken, allowing him to lose himself in the priceless memories he shared with his friends, family, and especially the special person he held so comfortably close at that very moment.

Some photos brought back sweet memories, others a little more on the bitter side of sweet, and then there were the funnier ones. One such silly photo seized Cove’s attention, and he couldn’t help the burst of laughter that escaped him.

The sound immediately snapped Jamie out of her relaxed stupor and brought her back to the present. She raised an eyebrow at Cove, but he failed to notice her questioning look, too preoccupied by whatever was on his phone’s screen.

“What’s so funny?” Jamie asked as she propped herself up on her arm to get a better look at his face and catch a glimpse of the phone’s screen.

Cove finally turned to look at Jamie, his eyes crinkled with mirth and a smirk playing on his lips. “Dad scanned some old photos,” he chuckled. “You know…”

Now that Jamie was no longer using his arm as a pillow, Cove was free to use it to draw a rectangle in the air. “Printed out ones,” he explained, “back from when I was little.” He waved his phone a bit with his other hand. “He texted it all to me last night, I guess. I’ve been checking them out.”

Jamie sat up completely, her dark blue eyes flying open wide. “You were looking at your kiddie photos and didn’t tell me?!” she gasped, almost scandalized at missing out on something so priceless.

Cove barely resisted the urge to chuckle, offering Jamie a bent smile as his eyes narrowed playfully. “I was gonna show you.” His gaze then slid away to his phone as his expression turned a little more hesitant. “I just wanted to look at it first to make sure there was nothing super embarrassing. You never know with my dad.”

His mouth pulled into a grimace as Cove could easily imagine all sorts of horrors his dad might have captured on film to unintentionally humiliate him until the end of time. “I mean… what if there’s a photo of me getting potty trained or something?”

Although Jamie empathized with his worries, she couldn’t help but giggle at the fraught expression Cove wore. “Yeah, that sounds like something your dad would do.”

Cove could only respond by clearing his throat nervously, his eyes skirting away from Jamie as he sat up as well. While he hadn’t come across any particularly humiliating photo of himself, he couldn’t quite shake the fear of what his dad’s well-meaning actions might have left for him to deal with this time.

Jamie offered her boyfriend a sympathetic smile before adding a slight bent to it. “Hey, how about this - if you let me look at your embarrassing baby photos, I’ll show you just as many of mine. My moms have plenty of them.”

The offer was tempting. Cove couldn’t help but wonder what sort of photos Jamie had in mind, but the price was just too steep. He merely chuckled awkwardly and shook his head as he pointedly kept his phone tilted away from her. She huffed and puffed out her cheeks in a mock pout at him for holding out on her, which elicited a genuine bout of laughter from him.

Once Cove got his mirth under control, he smiled at Jamie. “Anyway, before we forget, I was laughing ‘cause I came across a Halloween one from when I was eight. The year I was a zombie, remember?”

Jamie dropped her faux pout and nodded, her eyes lighting up eagerly. Cove shook his head at her excitement, a wry grin gracing his face as he finally offered the phone to her.

As Cove watched Jamie eagerly turn to his phone, he couldn’t help but shake his head again, this time at his kid self. “I never even liked zombies!” he said, a little baffled that he ever was so enthusiastic for such a costume. “All I wanted was to show off my new scar. And I needed to be something scary. I couldn’t be a normal person who had a scar, according to my eight-year-old mind.”

The photo displayed on the screen showed Cove from ten years in the past, and a pleasant wave of nostalgia washed over Jamie as she saw him the way he looked when they first met, minus the pink cast and plus a fair amount of makeup and fake blood. Little Cove posed for the camera with his fingers hooked like claws, his mouth open as though letting out what was probably supposed to be a fierce roar. She could easily remember the noises he made that night as he pretended to be a zombie on the hunt for brains. His hair looked even more wild and disheveled than it did after the most energetic day of play, going well with the tattered and ‘blood’ stained button up shirt he wore. His face was painted in gray down to his neck, marred with an array of fake scars that couldn’t compare to the real one on his arm.

Cove looked from Jamie to the phone and chuckled softly at the face his younger self pulled for the camera. “I was a little dork.”

Jamie eyed Cove at such self-depreciation before poking him on the nose. “You were a little cutie,” she insisted. “And now you’re a big cutie.”

Cove blinked at the playful action before blushing at the compliment. He had no words to reply to it except for a quiet, flustered chuckle as he rubbed his nose.

Jamie grinned at that reaction before turning back to the photo. As much as she enjoyed how adorable Cove looked while pretending to be a fierce monster, it was impossible to ignore the scar displayed so predominantly on his arm at that time. Her smile softened at the edges at the sight of such a large, jagged line of fresh skin that was such a deep and angry shade of red. The scar was a pale memory in the present, but back then it looked so painful, and at the time she found it hard not to worry about him and his comfort after his cast came off.

Still, Jamie refused to let that put a damper on the story and focused instead on just how much fun little Cove was having posing for the camera and remembering the way they played around with their costumes that night. She could vividly recall how she pretended to run away from him when he playfully growled that he wanted to eat her brains, and the memory made her smile grow stronger.

“Dad really wanted to be useful, as usual,” Cove said, bringing Jamie’s attention back to him in the present. Though he noticed the flicker of sadness that crossed her face and realized the reason for it, he was glad to see her perk up again just as quickly. “He came up with the idea of being an undead person. It was pretty good, huh?”

Jamie chuckled softly and nodded. “You had the best Halloween costume that year, hands down,” she said playfully. “I remember you getting lots of extra candy when adults realized the scar was real.” Her smile widened as she remembered just how jealous Lizzie had been at how much candy Cove got that year, especially since he only offered to share some of that extra candy with Jamie. “It must have been your greatest Halloween haul ever.”

Cove couldn’t help but chuckle as well as he thought back to that legendary candy haul as well. It took him a month to finish it all even with Jamie’s help.

Still, the topic of his scar brought his gaze back to the picture. Cove couldn’t help but compare the way it looked in the photo to its current appearance on his left arm. “I can’t believe how much larger my scar used to be,” he said quietly.

Jamie watched as Cove turned his focus to his arm with a soft smile on his face. He traced his fingers along the jagged line of pale flesh that remained with him even ten years on. It was an action that she had seen him do countless times, but it felt more significant in that moment.

A soft sigh escaped Cove, but his eyes and tone were playful. “Look at how tiny it is now.” He gave Jamie a look with big, pathetic eyes. “How am I gonna pretend to be tough without a big scar?”

It was a struggle for Jamie not to laugh at the expression Cove wore. “You better not do anything stupid to get a new scar,” she joked with a faux disapproving frown as she wagged a finger at him. “No matter how much you like them!”

Cove grinned back at Jamie. “I won’t.”

“Good,” Jamie said with a satisfied nod. “You’ve already got the coolest scar, no matter how small it gets.”

Cove felt his cheeks grow warm and his smile turned bashful. “Thanks.” He ducked his head away from Jamie, pleased with their joking exchange. Once again, his eyes drifted down to his scar as he continued to trace it.

“I really do like having this,” he admitted in a soft, shy voice. “Even if it is kind of little these days.”

Jamie’s expression softened as well, feeling as though Cove was sharing a big secret with her. She couldn’t help but feel happy to hear that he liked his scar despite whatever pain it must have caused him to get it. It was always wonderful whenever he opened up to her like this.

Cove glanced up at Jamie, a gentle smile gracing his lips. “I like yours, too.”

The unexpected compliment caught Jamie off guard, and heat rose in her cheeks, turning them pink. She couldn’t help but smile as she felt her chest flutter with butterflies. He never failed to think of her as well, especially since he knew that she was self-conscious of her own scars.

Unthinkingly, Jamie brought her hand up to her upper arm and traced some of the countless jagged little white lines that marred her pale skin. There were matching scars in the same place on her other arm, as well as her thighs and her chest. Unlike Cove, these scars were not the result of an accident, but her skin not being able to keep up with her sudden growth during puberty.

Back during her early teenage years when the stretch marks were fresh and an angry purplish-red, Jamie always kept them hidden. Puberty had been rough on her, dealing a blow to her self-esteem as well as her body, and being covered in so many scars left her feeling ugly even though she never once thought of Cove’s scar like that.

It took time for Jamie to accept her scars, and she knew that Cove was a big part of why. Seeing the way he took such quiet pride in his scar always made her question how she thought of hers. More than that, he always made her feel beautiful, and he was always the first to remind her  whenever she needed it. That was why she was no longer afraid to wear clothes that exposed her scars like she did now.

Jamie scooted in closer to Cove as she smiled adoringly at him, placing her hand on top of his. “Thank you, Cove.”

Cove turned back to face Jamie fully. He finally let go of his scar so that he could take her hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. He felt at peace with his scar and was happy to see the same reflected on her face as well. Their scars held such meaning to them despite coming from unhappy sources.

Jamie squeezed his hand back as she drifted even closer. “Could I touch your scar?”

Cove blinked, taken aback by the request. Usually, Jamie wasn’t shy about touching him without asking first, particularly someplace as innocent as his arm. Still, he quickly realized why she might hesitate to do that now and smiled gently at her as he nodded easily. “Yeah, that’s okay.”

Jamie gave Cove’s hand one more squeeze before letting go of it. Lightly, she pressed her fingertips against the edges of his scar. With great care, she slowly ran her thumb along the entire length of it, following the jagged angles the old wound took. The pale flesh was rough when compared to the rest of his skin, which was soft, but with goosebumps rising quickly along his arm as she stroked his scar.

The touch, so delicate and gentle, left Cove feeling a bit lightheaded. Jamie’s touch always felt wonderful and often left him feeling butterflies, but somehow the feel of her paying such careful attention to his scar was particularly powerful. A choked breath escaped him and a wobbly smile played across his face as he lost himself in the feeling.

The dizzied smile Cove wore along with the light pink of his cheeks drew Jamie in with the urge to do more. She locked eyes with him, staring deep into his aquamarine eyes as she took a hold of his arm and raised it up towards her.

A quiet gasp escaped Cove when she realized what Jamie had in mind. He couldn’t look away from her dark blue eyes as she stared so intently into him even as she placed a soft kiss on the old wound that marked him. The feeling of her lips, warm and soft, pressed so tenderly against that particular place sent shivers up his spine, and he let out a tiny squeak.

Jamie smiled against Cove’s skin as she appreciated his adorable reaction, as well as the way he looked at her with overwhelming adoration. She kissed him again and again, tracing the entire length of his scar with her lips like she did with her fingers before.

It was impossible for Cove to stay still when Jamie was showing him such affection. He reached up with his free hand to touch her arm. With his thumb, he brushed aside the edge of her open sleeve, giving him better access to the countless little white lines marking her pale skin. The texture was interesting, feeling so similar yet so different from his own scar. Because of their size and number, he found his fingers constantly alternating between soft skin and rougher tissue. It was difficult to trace any one scar from start to finish like she did for him, so instead he sought out to touch every single one.

The touch was electric, and Jamie could feel her heartbeat speed up as Cove caressed her so lovingly. “Cove…”

Cove shivered again as Jamie murmured his name against his skin, setting off sparks that made his body burn pleasantly. It urged him to lean forward, his eyes gleaming with the fire she set ablaze inside him.

Jamie raised her head and instinctively matched his movement, drawing nearer to Cove as her eyes drifted closed. She felt his lips gently meet hers, and she melted into the tender kiss. She held a little more firmly onto his arm as she fell deeper into him, feeling like she might drown in the depths of her feelings for him.

Cove all too quickly lost himself in the moment and in Jamie. It felt so wonderful, so right to be her like this, to touch and kiss her. He loved her so much that it was almost overwhelming, but knowing that she loved him as well kept him grounded.

Eventually they finally drifted apart, breathless and dazed from the kiss, their faces flushed with heat. When Jamie opened her eyes, she saw Cove gazing back at her with his mesmerizing ocean blue eyes. The look he gave her was spellbinding, filled with so much love and adoration that made her heart hammer hard against her ribcage. It told her without words that the feelings he had for her were just as immense as hers were for him.

Cove leaned in again, this time resting his forehead gently against Jamie’s. With heavy lidded eyes, he simply enjoyed gazing deeply into her blue eyes that always reminded him of the night sky. No matter how many times he saw them, they always captivated him. He could lose himself in those beautiful eyes of hers.

The feeling of his warm breath tickling her skin made Jamie shiver a little, especially the way it brushed against her lips like the ghost of a kiss. With their heads touching, his hand on her arm and hers on his, she felt entirely entwined with Cove. It felt so right.

Time ceased to have any meaning in that moment as they gazed deeply into their partner’s eyes and drank in the closeness and warmth they shared. Seconds or minutes might have passed, but neither of them cared as they lost themselves in each other.

[capricorn-stark]

Smoke and Mirrors

pairing: jason todd x reader, childhood friends

warning: language, slightly heated towards the end but it’s very mild, smoking - i’m not a smoker nor do i condone it, don’t do it kids

a/n: references some early stuff from RHATO (2011)

“The girls at the diner used to call those cancer sticks.”

You thought it was pretty ironic for him to say that when he plucked the cigarette you were holding right out of your hand, leaning against the railing of the balcony and seeming utterly unabashed. You hadn’t even heard him landing beside you until he started speaking. 

You made a face at him as he unlocked and slid his helmet off while grinning at you in a typical self-satisfied fashion, bringing the cigarette to his own lips. 

“Let me guess,” you started dryly, watching a plume of smoke swirl out of his mouth as he took a drag. “That’s why you took their warning very seriously and told yourself to never, ever smoke one.” 

“I never said that,” he protested with another obnoxious laugh as he turned to glance over at you. “You made that shit up yourself. Not my problem.” 

You rolled your eyes at him before moving to fish out your pack and lighter out again, half-heartedly settling another one between your lips and lighting it up. Jason’s eyes followed the smoke back to you, his own expression unreadable.

“And I thought you said you quit this shit.” 

You shrugged, not quite looking at him when you opened your mouth to answer. 

“People say stuff all the time, Hood. What did you expect?” Your words were directed towards a little more than just smoking. A beat passed before he shrugged it off. 

“Hell if I know.” 

You both sat there for a while in silence as you smoked, watching the grey clouds stray towards the hazy glow of the setting sun on the horizon. The city beneath you was beautiful tonight, a seemingly endless stretch of dark gleaming buildings reflecting the pinks and oranges of the sunset. You wanted to relish that moment more than anything for a while, and you did. 

You closed your eyes and let the cigarette leave your mouth, clouds falling from your lips, nicotine buzzing in your bloodstream.

It would be a beautiful night. You could tell.

When you opened your eyes, you felt Jason’s eyes on you again and your turned your head to meet them. In the sunset, they really did glow a strange hue of green - yet another marker from his swim in the Lazarus. You hadn’t seen those eyes in quite a while.

“What, you want to take a picture?” you started in a somewhat jestful tone at his expression. “It’ll last longer.” 

“Would you let me?” was his rather cocky comeback as he took his own cigarette out of his mouth, another smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “‘cus I don’t have anything against that idea, per se-”

“I was joking-”

“Right, totally.” 

“I was!” The look on his face was infuriating enough to let you know that he didn’t believe shit. You let out a rather long and weary sigh. “I thought you weren’t planning on coming back anytime soon.” And at last, the disdain you had been trying so hard to contain from him was surfacing in your tone.

And clearly, from the way he was staring at you, he seemed to notice.

His latest adventures with his new friends, dubbed The Outlaws, hadn’t exactly been on the down-low. You knew one of them, Roy Harper, from being his best friend from a long time ago, and you had seen the glowing orange alien chick who accompanied them for the past few months on the news after he had taken off from Gotham. 

You couldn’t deny the fact that you had been more than a little dismayed by the fact that he hadn’t even bothered to give you some sort of goodbye before they left, either - no visits, no phone calls, no letters, not even a poorly placed sticky note on the front of your apartment door left to get swept away by some janitor when it fell off. 

You woke up one morning and heard from his brother that he wasn’t around Gotham anymore, no real explanations as to why the hell that was. 

He just disappeared. 

“You’re not thrilled to see me?” he attempted with mock hurt, and you gave him a very unimpressed look. “Sure, doll. I see how it is.” You acted like the nickname didn’t affect you as much as it did, because he didn’t deserve the satisfaction of otherwise.

“You know what I mean, Jason.” 

“I thought it was Hood?” He caught your look again. “Jeez, I’m just fucking around.” The silence stretched on and he at least had the sense to look a little guilty when he spoke again. “Y/N. Listen, I’m - I’m sorry.” 

You didn’t say anything for a while, your eyes still fixed ahead on the horizon. What did he expect you to say?

“I didn’t plan on leaving like that, I just - shit happened. And I didn’t want to stay in this shithole of a city for longer than I had to, anyways.” 

Of course. He was bad at goodbyes, so he never said them. You were above chasing after him, so you never did.

“You could’ve at least made a call after you left.” The cigarette was still burning in your hands, the white filter crumbling away in the wind. “Or, I dunno, sent a text, or even a damn email or something. Anything.” Even you were surprised by the contempt lacing your voice with every word you spoke. You had told yourself he had to have had his reasons for leaving and that you wouldn’t waste your own time being angry at him. But somehow, you couldn’t help it. It had hurt more than you chose to realize. “It’s been months.” For once, his passive expressions and sarcasm had been replaced with something else. 

Remorse. 

“I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal to you.” You almost let out an incredulous laugh at that. 

“Not a big deal to me? Are you serious?” You turned back to face him and he pursed his lips, clearly having realized that he had said the wrong thing. “After you came back - from the dead - and after everything that happened, you seriously thought I wouldn’t care what happened to you?” Jason opened his mouth, then wisely closed it while you tossed your cigarette down to crush it beneath your heel. “Wow, Jason, you knew me way better than I thought you did.” 

“I didn’t mean to leave,” he tried again after a beat, taking a half-step towards you. “I wasn’t - I was on a mission, and this submarine thing with the dudes I was dealing with blew up, and then I woke up like a week later on this island thing with a Tamaranean alien princess who thought I was Dick, and then I found out Roy was gonna get executed, so-” He seemed to realize how incredulous that sequence of events sounded from the look on your face. So he let out a sigh, wringing his hands. “Okay. Yeah. I was kind of a douche.”

“Kind of?” 

“I was definitely a douche,” he amended with another sigh, running a hand through his dark hair. He took a breath. “But I did mean it. I’m sorry.” 

And you knew he meant it when he said that. Even back in his unruly days as a Robin, when your friendship had first formed, you had figured out that it was ridiculously hard for Jason Todd to let go of his pride and apologize for basically anything. When he got older, it admittedly hadn’t gotten all that much better.

Until now, apparently. Just a little. And you could never stay angry at him for very long, as much as you might have tried.

You let out a sigh yourself, glancing up at him. 

“When did you even get back?” 

Jason made a show of fishing his phone out of his pocket and taking a look before answering. 

“About - twenty minutes ago.” He cleared his throat a little. “I wanted to see you.” There it was again - that infuriating feeling in your chest. 

“Did you?” You tried to keep your tone as neutral as possible as he rubbed the back of his neck, somewhat awkwardly glancing away from you before he spoke again. 

“Yeah. I missed you.”

Well fuck. That was a big one. 

“I guess I missed having you around. Sometimes.” He chuckled at your attempt to be nonchalant, stepping even closer to you. 

“That’s it? That’s all I get?” You rolled your eyes at him, refusing to say otherwise. You weren’t about to give in to him.

“Yeah, that’s all you-” Before you could finish, he had cut you off with a kiss. And in another moment, after his arms wrapped around your waist to pull you in closer, you realized your entire train of thought had been derailed completely because your best friend was kissing you.

“Get?” he offered when he pulled away again, another rather smug smile playing at his lips when you managed to look at him again, clearly flustered. “You sure about that?” 

You appropriately told Jason to fuck off before you pulled him down towards you again for another kiss. And that kiss turned into another, then another, and another. 

Your seemingly blasé attitude towards him and his constant teasing towards you had always helped you both shy away from whatever it was that you actually felt towards the other. It was easier to laugh at each other, or flirt, or push each other away than to actually move past your pride and admit how you felt. 

But then again, between tender caresses and heated kisses, you didn’t think there was a need to really say anything out loud. Where his hands were on your body alone could tell anyone what was going on in his head.

You had missed him more than you could express in words, and it was increasingly clear that he had felt the exact same way. Your relationship had always toyed at the fine line between friendship and something more, and your actions in that moment had firmly moved you both past the former. 

For so many years, your respective egos had provided a cover from a truth neither of you had been ready to come to terms with. But now, beneath the haze of cigarette smoke, sheets, and Gotham sunsets, you could finally see what exactly that was. There had always been something more underneath all of your smoke and mirrors. 

And although it wouldn’t be right then and there, eventually, you’d clear all of that smoke away. 

[creativeashproductions]

When the Pain Ends // Charlie Gillespie

Summary: Breaking up with your boyfriend ends with your broken hand, a broken heart and a trip to Canada. Getting out of Oklahoma for comfort of your younger brother Owen brings you into contact with a sweet Canadian.

Warnings: Swearing, hospital, cheating boyfriend, angst and bit of fluff

Words: 3.1k

Requested: No.

A/N: Tidbit of info is that I am a university student. I had last week off and I’m six minutes into my History Zoom Lecture. Here’s a little fic.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX PLEASE!

Masterlist

The scowl glued on your face as you waited in the ER for the results from the x-ray you had gotten back from minutes ago. A bag of ice on the swollen knuckles of your right hand still splattered in drops of blood. The same blood as the small drops on your shirt as well. If that didn’t put a scowl on your face, it was the next issue.

The reason for your visit to the ER was in bed next over complaining as a nurse checked his face. His eyes meeting yours in a blend of guilt, regret and fear almost. You couldn’t meet his eyes. You didn’t want to meet his eyes.

Let’s backtrack a little for a short history.

The summer after graduation, you had met a guy on the beach playing volleyball in need of another player. You joined, and then you fell for the guy just as he did for you. For the last three years, you were now twenty-one years old. Parker had been a really good guy. Until yesterday.

“Babe!” Parker sounded congested with the bandages held up his nose. He had been fighting the nurse to come to your side.

“Don’t call me that!” You hissed glaring at the tall boy with the auburn hair colour that had once been your favourite colour.

“C’mon it was a mistake-Ow!” Parker whined at the nurse applied more pressure as she cast a sympathetic glance at you. A small smile of thanks passed to the nurse who had maybe pressed a little no hard on Parker’s nose.

Your eyes rolled at the drama that was Parker when it came to injuries that had been his entire fault, to be frank. Your fist meeting his face? His fault for cheating. What did he expect? A congratulations? Screw that.

“Say anything else I swear I’ll hit the other ball.” You glared at the boy sending him to a fit, shaking fear of stupidity.

The beach was filled up with teens and adults with children on the nice weekend day out of the loud city. Originally you hadn’t been able to join Parker with your mutual friends, but something else had spurred you there. Instead of having the weekly movie night via FaceTime with your younger brother, you had other plans. A particular video sent by Parker’s best friend and his cousin too had brought you here. Livvy had grown close in the three-year relationship you had with her cousin.

Your fury filled gaze flickered around the beach and the grass in the large opening area of the waterfront. Finally, your eyes found Parker sitting with Livvy on the blanket on the grass with Steve. Livvy was the first to see with marching through the people spreading like a curtain from the angry girl.

“Hey, Parker!” You shouted at your boyfriend in a conversation with your other two friends. Parker’s smile grew just before it falters at your expression.

“Hey, Babe,” Parker spoke, climbing to his full five-foot-ten stature. Livvy’s smile pulled up in an amused smirk while Steve looked more confused.

“How was your weekend at your sick Granny’s house?” You came to a stop a foot away from him. Arms crossed just under your chest his thick eyebrows furrowed together.

“Uh…it was okay. She’s feeling better.” Parker nodded to himself tilting his head to the side, “It was-“

“I hope she better. Her treatment must have been incredible.” You replied, unfurling your arms to grab the phone from your back pocket.

Parker grew more confused, “What?”

“The doctor sure knew what he was doing. The prescription of ‘dicked down’ cured her illness and old age.” The whistle you made after your statement sounded, but you grew more satisfied with the circle of people behind you.

“Oh.” Steve choked, raising one fist to press against his mouth. By now Livvy had started recording on her phone.

Livvy and Parker may be cousins, but she loathed cheaters when it was the cause of her parents’ divorce. Parker’s lips parted as he paled. The click of the glass screen brought up a video of Parker and a brunette in a hot tub.

“Ba-“

“Fucking look at your actions.” You hissed stepping even closer, “Was it worth it? Jeopardizing a relationship with someone you share years of memories with? Years of love and trust? All for thirty seconds of fun? We both know you tend to…get too excited.”

“Oh shit,” Steve spoke, shifting his gaze between you and Parker like he was a bobblehead of Einstein. The very bobblehead that you had laughed giving Steve with his obsession over the legendary scientist.

“It just happened. I still love you. I just needed a- “Parker stumbled back bringing his hands to his face, “OW! You broke my nose!”

“Ouch.” You hissed shaking your aching hand coated in some blood that splattered your shirt from shaking the hand.

“What the hell! You bit…holy fuck!” Parker screamed as your foot came up between his spread legs, nailing his left nut. He collapsed onto the grass, struggling to hold his bleeding broke nose and his nuts.

“That’s what you get asshole.” You shouted, turning to Livvy, “Can you take me to the hospital?”

“Parker drove, I’ll drive you both there. Steve can keep you two from fighting.” Livvy spoke, ending the video to shove everything in the oversized beach bag.

Now it was hours later as per usual in most hospitals elongating the time you were forced to spend with your now ex-boyfriend. Livvy and Steve had gone home a while back. Parker continued trying to fix the unrepairable damage he had done.

“Y-“

“That’s it!” You exclaimed jumping down from the bed to storm over to Parker. You made a few steps before arms encircled your waist.

“Okay, Slugger.” The gritty voice of your father spoke tugging you as far away from your ex-boyfriend as possible, “As much I want to kill him, I think you broke his pretty-boy face enough.”

The anger drained from your body as you slumped against your dad anguish set in with a tsunami of hurt. Time melted as you broke in your father’s arm; missing the doctor giving information. Your hand was fitted with a cast, and next thing you were aware of it was in the car.

“You bruised hits nuts. Broke his nose.” Dad nonchalantly spoke, turning the steering wheel as he exited the hospital parking lot. He didn’t bother making small talk as he let you be quiet on the drive home.

You didn’t know what hurt more, the heartache or your broken hand stabilized in the brace. The clearing of a throat had your attention is drawn to the house you had grown up no doubt holding your upset mother.

“She’s not that mad.” Dad quietly spoke, handing your phone that had died during the time in the ER. You shot him a look at the inaccuracy of his statement because you both know she was angry.

“Her daughter just spent hours in a hospital with a dead phone. We both know she probably thought I was dead in a ditch.” You deadpanned as you both walked up to the door of the home in Norman, Oklahoma.

The door opened before you could reach for it, and a flurry of blonde hair attacked you in a hug. Your mother hugged then leaned away to scan your features. Catching the dried tear stains paired with the red-rimmed eyes.

“Sweetheart.” Dinah spoke, raising her hands to wipe the tears from your face only causing more to fall, “What’s wrong?”

“Parker cheated on me.” You mumbled melting into her arms in another round of tears, breaking your parents’ hearts.

Meanwhile in Vancouver, Canada

Owen loved his job and the people he had met, but he missed the weekly movie nights with his older sister. The Joyner siblings had gotten down pat a system of sync to have the same movie playing at the same time on FaceTime. Imagine his surprise when he got a text apologizing.

Virtual movie night postponed. It put him in a slump that greatly concerned his roommate at the decrease of excitement. Even the next day, he was sad like a kicked puppy.

“Bro? You good?” Charlie asked from his place in the kitchen, scanning his emails on his computer. Owen barely made his eyes, “Wasn’t movie night with your sister yesterday?”

Owen nodded, “Yeah she-“

As Owen had gone to explain his phone had dinged with a concerning message from his mother.

Mom: Have you heard from Y/N? She hasn’t come home.

Owen swiped out of the conversation to the most used one with you shared with him to send a mass of messages. All not even coming up as read by you. It was his stipulation that you had it one for his safe of mind.

“C’mon you little shit,” Owen grumbled, pressing your contact to call. It didn’t even ring, “Dead cell.”

Charlie’s full attention shifted to the younger guy sitting on their couch in the apartment they used during filming. As Owen started pacing, Charlie was over quick as a bunny to offer comfort to him. The boys had grown so close, with Jeremy too, that they knew how to help the other.

“Owen, you need to tell me what’s going on.” Charlie soothed the blonde with his eyes pleading with the teenager.

“My parents haven’t talked to my sister. She didn’t go home.” Owen admitted scratching at his chest when his chest tightened. The other immediately finding his pulse on his neck to ensure he still had a pulse.

“Oh shit.” Charlie retorted, tapping his foot on the hardwood floor trying to find the right words to help his friend.

For the next hour, the boys kept in contact with Owen’s family and checking your social media in shifts as they filmed. It was a slow day when Owen’s phone finally rang with his mother’s contact once more.

“Mom, did you find her?” Owen asked, picking at the skin on his lips pacing as he had all day. The level of anxiety had been perfect for the scene he had filmed as Alex.

“Yeah. Look, Owen, she needs to get out of Oklahoma. Do you have room for her?” Dinah asked her son periodically glancing in the living room at the lifeless young woman.

“Yeah. We have an extra room.” Owen supplied squeezing the phone in his grip, “How is she? What happened?”

“I’m letting her settle before I ask any questions, but her flight is in a bit. It was either you take her in, or we pay for a hotel room. Oh! I got this lego-“

“I have to get back to filming. I’ll call you tonight.” Owen told his mother as his thumb hit the record circle on his phone. Kenny waving him over to film a scene with Booboo that would be the last before heading home.

The over the counter pain pill went down with a swig of water in the airport waiting for Owen and his roommate. Owen had messaged you that he would pick you up on the way from the set in perfect timing.

“Y/N!” Owen cheered catching sight of your form hunched forward on the bench you had miraculously found empty. Your blank eyes seeing the blue of your younger brother.

Owen’s eyes widened in shock, “What the hell happened to your hand?”

Noncommittal, the girl walked by her brother with her luggage in the mission to get to the car. All you wanted was to burst into years under your blankets until the world turned again, when birds sang, and the word wasn’t painted in dull colours.

Just as it had during the ride from the hospital to the house, it was dead silent in the car with the barest sound of music. Owen and Charlie had been having a conversation with expressions with the tension in the backseat stifling.

“This is our place.” Charlie spoke, opening the apartment door with a flourish for the girl and her luggage. Your eyes scanned the modest apartment with minimal mess compared to the tornado devastation of Owen’s Oklahoma room.

“Okay.” You replied, watching as Owen rolled the luggage to the room you would use for the few weeks you would be here.

Once showered, dressed and settled, you retreated to the couch to watch a film with the two boys. Your mind fluttered between Beca’s blow out with her father and Jesse to the city of Norman. As if thinking of Parker manifested something your phone buzzed with notifications.

@/livvyjo: Go, girl! [video]

@/malia134: Parker goes down like the bitch he is!!!

@/notsteverogers: I got a front-row seat to the fight.

Those three comments on Livvy’s video had more support than hate plus the video itself was hilarious. It caught the entire confrontation from greeting the cheater to being pulled away to spend the ten minutes in the same car. The car you had hooked up in the backseat of in the years you dated him.

 “-The prescription of ‘dicked down’ cured her illness and old age.” The pure anger on your expression amused you.

“What are you watching?” Owen inquired from the couch he watched the movie from. It made up for the lack of a film last night.

“A girl punching her bag of shit ex-boyfriend. She almost ripped his face off in the hospital.” You softly replied with your thumb double-tapping Livvy’s post.

Charlie’s attention shifted from the pool mashup with the Barden Bellas to the pride evident in your tone. It was the first time he had heard you laugh during the few hours he had been in your presence.

“What movie?”

“Oh, you know Parker’s Dicked Down Adventures. Filmed free with an iPhone.” You spoke sliding down to sit flush to Charlie to show the video you refreshed.

Owen’s mouth opened, “He cheated on you? How stupid is he??”

“You have a mean right hook.” Charlie supplied replaying the video for the third time with a weird feeling in his gut. The confidence stirred a body warming heat in the Canadian actor unlike anything else he had felt before.

“Dad taught me.” You replied, slouching down in the plush couch with a tiny smiling, “The nurse heard what happened. She put excessive pressure for his actions. I overheard his diagnosis; nasty bruised testicle and a broken nose.”

Both boys winced at the description. Owen ditching Charlie’s side to sit beside you, leaving you in the middle of the boys.

“I almost attacked him before Dad dragged me out of the room.” You recounted snuggling into your younger brother’s side.

“Where are my keys?” Owen questioned his roommate, “We need them to drive to the airport. I need to kill the ass that hurt my sister.”

Your deft fingers grasped Owen’s wrist when he went to get up because, in all honesty, he probably would book a flight. He wouldn’t go through with the plan to physically hurt Parker, but Owen had a wicked tongue for insults.

You spent one month in Vancouver with your brother and his castmates from helping Maddie with her homework. Movie nights with Owen changed to include Charlie too. Shopping trips with Sav and Tori. Baking with Jadah. You became family with them.

All good things come to an end. You had settled back in Norman with brighter plans that didn’t involve relying on men. Movie nights still happened with the boys, but things got hectic. Virtual movie nights shifted to texting Charlie and calls.

“Hey dork.” Charlie spoke walking down the street in Vancouver to the restaurant he was meeting the cast at. His lips pulled back in a massive grin, hearing your voice.

“Hey Char!” You enthusiastically spoke, walking out of the building with more pep in your step at the voice of the man, “What’s up?”

“On my way for food with everyone. How are you feeling?” Charlie asked, rubbing his fingertips on the dark denim pants. The sound of your voice brightening up his day more than he thought possible.

“Ooh. I should let you go, huh?” You questioned shifting to hold the phone between your shoulder and chin. Fingers unlocked the new car you had bought with the money you had saved.

A nice change of money from selling the jewellery, clothes and other miscellaneous gifts Parker had given you. The necklace he gave you that once belonged to his grandmother had been given back to him. Other than that you had no interaction with the ass.

“I’d rather talk to you.” Charlie admitted biting his lip in concentration, “I have a question.”

“Okay. What’s your question?” You questioned as your phone connected to your car—Charlie’s voice coming through the car speakers.

“Filming is almost over. Do you have plans for New Years? I’d like you to see you again.”

His words set a flutter of butterflies moving in your stomach at his nervous confidence striking the new information. The change in your friendship had been felt on his side as well and while you usually would think one-month post cheating wasn’t long enough. Something about Charlie felt comfortable as if everything had been preparing to fall for him.

“I could fly-“

“I’d like to see where you grew up. Your favourite places and where you went to school. I want to know the little things that made you who you are.” Charlie spoke coming to a stop outside the restaurant, waiting for your answer.

Owen’s eyes pulled from his debate with Sacha and Jeremy to the nervous Canadian biting his lip outside the window. By the expression on his face, Owen couldn’t guess who he was talking about. It was the smile that had been appearing on Charlie’s face for the last two weeks you had been staying with them.

Charlie had fallen for Owen’s big sister, and he couldn’t think of anyone better. The bond between you and Charlie had been natural and magical to watch. It was kinda gross seeing his best friend and sister having heart eyes with each other. Yet, Owen had never liked Parker, but he loved the idea of having Charlie as a brother.

“Y-yeah. Of course, you can Char.” The flattering blush heated up your skin at the turn in the convo—a grin splitting on the two individuals with more than three thousand kilometres between them.

“Cool. I should join the cast. I’ll text you later.”

“Bye, Charlie.” You whispered to the boy looking out the window noticing something she had been oblivious to.

The world had regained the colour, the birds sang again, and the world turned once more. All because a boy helped her heal.

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[spikebhm]

Suffering from success

Whoa, what a harsh title but I thought it kinda fit with what is going through my mind right now - don't be afraid, I'm good and healthy but I noticed a change recently with my attendance of an online personality with an "ok" following of over 4000+ and the time it consumes from my days and weeks!

It's almost every day now that I wake up to more like 5 chat starters, several asks and of course other messages with other messaging systems and I noticed that it takes a long, long time to answer all of those that I feel like I am putting out hours to answer all of them in a way that I feel satisfied but often times I don't even meet that criteria because I'm either busy with something else, not attending my laptop and typing on a phone to me is butts or just plain tired or asleep (timezones).

The way my brain works is that it LOVES thinking. It loves input and attention and focusing on things for days and weeks with no end in sight and it's pretty much in need of this stimulation (I'm neuro divergent for those new readers). This is the kind of existence that I had to work around in my early days up until adulthood where I didn't even understood why it's so difficult for me to wind down, to be at peace until much later (3 years ago in fact) that I got a diagnosis.

There is something very addicting to my brain and it is stimulation. I need either loud music with my eyes closed where I play instrumentals only to help my brain visualize scenes and plays, for no reason at all but only to keep it satisfied. I read long texts or entries on either wikis about fandoms and fiction, only to keep it busy. Or a very good stuffing, for which I am mostly known for!

Sadly this is very disruptive with my day to day flow. I wake up, bathroom, kitchen, tea, have a snack or two, sit down and keep my brain from obsessing over a thing/things until I start answering emails and start working on something. Emails and messages will be answered for up to three hours per day, spread out but it still is a time sink I am very invested in.

The way I want to answer these emails and asks is always in a very thoughtful, respectful manner because this is a standard that sits right with me, I have a very strong moral compass which dictates how I live my life.

And also this compass makes me feel bad when I know that I have a super nice conversation with a mutual and I don't always have time to catch up with them because I am spreading myself so thin (not figuratively, dear god) that it hurts me to know that I missed to say a good night or get back to them when I have left them on read, which does suck and I apologize to anyone who has noticed this the last 2 weeks. It's also really bad because I might get back to a convo, I pick up from a topic hours ago but the person already moved on and is doing something else with their day, also time zones play a major factor here!

With all the new followers coming around and myself spreading more and more thin, I feel like it's getting to a point where it is a chore - but anyone who knows me KNOWS that I do like my chores because it is something that allows me to relax but I am at the stage where this is turned on its head, up side down and it drains me a bit mentally.

Now I am totally good right now, I just noticed this before it gets worse but I will let you all know that I am still continuin doing what I do because I *fuuucking* love it, I will still take some time to answer your asks but it might take me a day or two to answer those.

So what I'm saying is, sorry if I left you on read but with the success of being so approachable and ready to have a great convo, giving this community a glimpse into a respectful space towards feedism, my attention and attendance is spreading itself very thin and I can't get to you in time as I did before. Especially for my mutuals.

I still love you all, and you know that 💖✨

[whumpiary]

content warning: violence/physical abuse, abuse of power, victim trying to justify violence, smoking, brief cancer mention, brief mention of suicidal ideation, brief mentions of eye and mouth injury

-

Tucker sits on the cooling box at the top of the Facility building centre and looks out at the city and hates it all. The sun’s just barely starting to set, glowing golden somewhere behind him, and the sunset, he supposes, would be pretty if he wasn’t halfway blinded by the way the light bouncing back off the skyscrapers and into his eyes.

It’s a hot night. Well, warm. Well, mild. It’s the wind that’s hot. He’d left his jacket at his desk, desperate for a break from his laptop and a smoke. He doesn’t often indulge anymore but he’s in a mood tonight. Wants something between his teeth. 

The air shifts around him but it’s hot and dry and uncomfortable and suffocating. That’s what it is. Fucking suffocating. 

This whole place is suffocating, if he’s being honest. He’s sick of it. He’s sick of treading water, biding his time, kissing ass. It makes him itch, it gets under skin, makes him want to scratch at the dead skin under his nails, to gouge his eyeballs out, to gouge someone else’s eyeballs out. To make them bleed. 

What he wants is canines in jugular. Blood on his tongue. A spine between his teeth.

What he has is a pack of Winnie Blues and a Zippo lighter. Flicking it on and off. On. And off. Not exactly the same as the annihilation he’s craving but maybe it’ll get him to Hell a lick faster.

He grinds out his smoke on a shitty little carving on the metal. Jagged lines etching out C H O O next to a slowly growing pile of cigarette butts. He lights another.

Corporate. That’s what it is. Fucking goddamn bloody shit-dick corporate. That’s why he’s like this. Stuck in fucking purgatory. He closes his eyes, blows out smoke.

Four more years, four more years, four more years. 

When he’s actually dealing with people and working on projects and getting shit done he doesn’t mind the waiting so much. But then they’d close a deal or open a new one and Jesus then there’s the paperwork. And the dick sucking. And when it isn’t dick sucking it’s dick measuring. And the meetings. Jesus Christ the fucking meetings. 

Joanne from HR sure didn’t seem to give a shit when the Facility was writing up contract guidelines to on-board indentured workers, or green lighting human lab rats,  but God forbid if Tucker breaches managerial policy.

He sighs. He never should have left what he had. It was dull and getting him precisely nowhere but at least shifting drugs you never saw the phrase as per my last email. 

When the door swings open behind him he doesn't have to turn to know who it is. Who the fuck else was gonna be up on the Building C rooftop at 8.42 on a Wednesday night.

“Hey, Fucker. Wasn’t sure you’d be up here.”

Who else, indeed. Did you need another little boost already, Ace? One lot wasn’t enough this week?

Tucker flicks his lighter, takes a drag. Doesn’t turn around. He can hear Cass approaching all the same. Swaying, swaggering steps. Cocky piece of shit. 

“Didn’t know you smoked,” Cass continues and Jesus there was that smarmy little lilt that made him sound so sure of himself. “That’s not a smart move, man. Pretty face like yours and you’re gonna lose it to face cancer?”

Tucker flicks ash on to the concrete, takes one last drag, blowing smoke out of the corner of his mouth. The fuck does the little shit think he’s talking to? Clearly they’ve gotten a little too cuddly lately. 

Ace drums on the cooling box as he walks closer, and Tucker stands, lip twitches in distaste as he stamps out the smoke. It would be a warning if the cocky piece of shit was bothering to pay attention.

“Haven’t you seen all the ads? You’re gonna get black teeth and shit,” Ace sighs, some approximation of a disappointed dad voice. “You know what they say, Tuck. Cancer kil-”

Cass isn’t expecting the blow so the backhand sets him spinning, gasping. His hand flies to his cheek, spit hurtling out of his mouth and landing on the ground, to the side, marbled through with blood. Must’ve bit his tongue. Cut his cheek on his teeth. Good. 

Cass is half-cowed over, hand hovering at his already swelling lip as he looks over at Tucker. He looks like a kid who got yelled at for something that wasn’t their fault. “What the fuck?”

Tucker pushes up the sleeves of his shirt, looking him over with a wolf’s hunger and like a good prey animal, Cass stands frozen. Tucker surges forward.

Cass’ hands fly up in front of his face to defend himself, with wild, furious, terrified eyes. Perfect. “I didn’t do anything!”

Like that matters. Like Tucker gives a single flying fuck.

His hands land on each of Ace’s shoulders as he serves him knee to the gut. Cass gasps, air knocked out of him, body belted off rhythm with its own tempo, leaving him breathless. It makes him fold in the middle, hands flying down to hug at his stomach and it's the opening the minder needs to clip him sideways across the temple.

Cass spins, reels, stumbles but stays upright, his hand flying out to catch his balance against a fall that doesn’t quite come. 

“What the fuck?” he gasps, shaking his head clear, righting himself with a little stagger. And it’s funny isn’t it? Ace’ll kick and spit at all hours but a hand flies at his face and he almost never swings back. Instead, he scrambles. He cowers. Defends. “I didn’t… I didn’t do anything.”

Tucker huffs out a breath, hot and dangerous. Something that could be close to a laugh if it wasn’t quite so twisted and bitter. If it wasn’t quite so hungry. Ravenous. He surges forward again.

Cass is ready for him this time — scrappy fighter used to scrappy fighting — but on the back foot, off balance. A sharp shove to his arms sends him stumbling, and a sharp kick to the gut sends him sprawling, landing hard on his back with a thump and a crack and no breath. 

Cass gapes, mouth open in a breathless oh as he tries to remember how to breathe, eyes opened so wide Tucker can see the white around the iris. Tucker watches from above. He circles. He savours.

Cass’ eyes flick around rapidly. He’s looking for saviour, for escape. He’ll find none here. Unless he finally commits to hurtling himself over the safety railing.

Cass finally gasps a breath in, finds Tucker’s eyes, wheezes out a desperate, panicked, “I didn’t… I didn’t… What did I do?” 

Tucker answers him with a kick to the stomach. Then another, then another. Cass curls in on himself, heaving air out in ragged gasps, practically hugging Tucker’s foot as it makes contact with his gut.

The minder doesn’t give him a chance to catch his breath. To reorient. He reaches down, hand snapping out quick, and tangles fingers through the long, ratty half-curls. Cass’ hands fly up, clawing at the grip as he’s dragged along the concrete with a strangled grunt. His feet push up, trying desperately to find purchase, to get a step in, to kick. All he succeeds in doing is making Tucker’s job easier, momentum doing half the work. 

He hurls Cass against the wall, a tiny little cry ripping out of him as shoulder, hip, side of head make contact with the brinks. He crumples, limbs folded at awkward angles. The little freak’s eyes are wide and lost as he slides down the wall, breath hitching in desperate little almost-sobs that choke in his throat.

“What did I… Jesus...” he pants and Tucker tilts his head to the side. Watching. Savouring. Cass has already made it to the ground but he’s still falling and falling and falling. “Please, Tucker, the fuck-” Tucker reaches for the front of his shirt and hauls him up.  “The fuck did I do?”

Tucker hits him. Sharp back hand across the face. Cass cries out. He hits him again.

He hits him again and again and again and again and then he drops him to the concrete once more, kicking him as he lands. It’s as he’s reaching for him again, hauling him further upright so he can give that smug little face another sharp slap that Cass’ hands fly up again, eyes flying open and wide.

Except they don’t cover his face this time. Not really. His hands find Tucker’s arm, clutching and desperate, head shaking 

“Stop,” he gasps, breath rattling out of him as he finds Tucker’s face, eyes unfocussed, body staying. “Stop. Fuck. Stop.”

It could be a demand. And maybe in Cassius’ fucked up little head it is. Some grasping-at-straws attempt at finding even footing. But to Tucker it sounds like a beg. Like a plea. Like mercy.

Blood flows freely from Cass’ nose. The swelling in his lip is obvious, accompanied by a split at the very corner of his mouth. Blood vessels in the corner of his eye have burst, turning a patch of the white red and monstrous. He looks grotesque. Disgusting. As broken as he is for a change.

Tucker holds him there for a moment, looking him over. Drinking it in.

He could keep going. He could keep going and grind him to pulp.

But what fun was Ace unconscious in a hospital bed?

“Say thank you, Cassius.”

And Cass is shaking, glaring, panting. His breaths have a desperate, rattling sound that even Tucker can admit doesn’t sound right. His words are a mumble through split lip and bitten tongue. “Thank y.. Than-... Thank you.”

What fun was Ace unconscious in a hospital bed? No fun at all.

Tucker drops him like a puppet with cut strings and he falls to the ground with the last of his breath, the last of his energy, the last of Tucker’s fury. The minder takes a few steps back and watches Cass pull into himself, tuck in against the wall, dragging limbs, wheezing breath. Eyes flick up to him, wide and afraid. He doesn’t move.

Tucker smiles and exhales a satisfied sigh. “See you tomorrow, Ace.”

The wind whips hot around him as he turns to leave, but this time it actually cools the sweat down his spine, across his brow, along the bridge of his nose. There’s an ache in his knuckles, a pulling twinge in his shoulder where he threw it wrong but fuck he feels good. Looser. Un-wound. Fucked out.

He can hear Cass shifting behind him as he walks away. The scrape of clothing against concrete, the uneven rhythm of his gasps. Like paper tearing. Like gears grinding.

Tucker hears calls out from where he’s folded, voice croaked and raw. Waterlogged. “What did I do?” And then again, louder, when the ragged breaths give him enough oxygen to yell. “What the fuck did I do?”

Tucker doesn’t answer. Doesn’t look back. Just lets the rooftop door swing closed behind him. Just before it clicks shut he hears a sound on the wind, broken and betrayed and vulnerable. A croaking sob.

And God, if hearing that isn’t fucking delicious. Like sex in the afternoon. Enough of a treat that he’ll probably be able to make it through the rest of the paperwork.

[bigheartedsky]

O3

Pairings: Hoseok x Reader; slight coworker!Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Fluff; Angst

Word Count: 13.9k+

Warnings: mentions of panic attacks

Summary: Fifty years ago, your government decided that, due to the high rate of people suffering from loneliness, the O3-project shall be introduced to your country. The goal of this project was to reduce the years people spent trying and failing to find their perfect partner and making it possible for them to sit back and relax while they find it for them instead. You are one of the youngest Implementers of the One and Only Office yet and you love your job more and more everyday. But a new case has you doubting everything you do because nothing seems to add up. Why are you so attracted to the person you’re supposed to connect with their perfect partner and what does your coworker Namjoon have to do with all of this?

[a/n: This story is the one I’ve put the most effort in so far thinking carefully of how I want the story to develop and choosing to go with a slow burn love story this time. I hope you enjoy the story and thanks to the lovely @yeontanismypresident​ for beta reading again and for leaving such a sweet message at the end with her opinion <3 Now here are some side informations you might need for the story:

Finder = Job; runs data on people through the system and finds the couples meant for each other; they create the data files needed by the Implementers to do their job

Implementer = Job; gets in contact with the couples and manages meetings between them to make them get together

One = one of the couple; this is what you call the partner of the couple in front of you or yourself in this context

Only = one of the couple; this is what you call the most of the time not present partner of the couple especially when talking about him/her/it

Have fun reading!]

Masterlist

“Fifty years ago, our government decided that, due to the high rate of people suffering from loneliness, the O3-project shall be introduced to our country. The goal of this project was to reduce the years people spent trying and failing to find their perfect partner and making it possible for them to sit back and relax while we find it for them instead. Our department developed a system, with the help of Professor Kim, that runs through all available data on every single living person in this country and matches them together with an accuracy of 100% to this day. We never had any mistakes in our work, which is remarkable. Our systems get updated regularly, and we’ve grown from a four-people-team to a team made of over 5.000 people. But I don’t want to get into the detail of all our achievements which I’ve seen with my own eyes over all these years – there were many just saying – and let you all get to the buffet and celebrate our 50 years anniversary. A toast to our great department! To One and Only Office!”

“To One and Only Office,” everyone replied, including you, and raised their glasses to your boss. When the office got introduced, he was only 25 years old, fresh out of university, and still wet behind his ears just like you were now. Fifty years went by, and now he was 75 years old and almost done working his shift of this life. He still had a youthful glint in his eyes whenever he had one of his crazy new inventions in mind.

A few minutes later, you saw him coming up to you.

“How is my youngest Implementer?” he asked you with a friendly grin. You just started to grin back at him.

“She’s gonna miss you badly. Do you really have to go?” you questioned with a sad look on your face. He just laughed heartily and rubbed your shoulders comfortingly.

“You’re going to survive without me. You’re smarter than me anyways, or why do you think I forced you into university? Someone has to come up with new ideas when I’m gone. Besides, I’ve worked my fair share already. Let me have some peace and quiet before I go for good.” Winking at you, he let out another laugh.

“I’m never gonna live up to that crazy mind of yours. I might as well quit right here and now.”

“And who’s gonna save my ass when I forget where I left my data files again?” Another voice joined into your conversations. You felt a hand on your hip and pressed your lips together in a thin line.

“How about you’d stop putting them down in random places, Namjoon?” you asked while gently removing his hand from your hip and taking a small step away from him. Turning to face both of them instead of just your old boss, you took a sip of your drink and rolled with your eyes smiling.

“I’m not doing it on purpose! It just happens.” He complained in a pouty voice. You sighed, laughing a little while excusing yourself from the conversation to finally get some of the good food they ordered. You thanked your boss silently when he engaged Namjoon in another conversation about his recent ideas so that he couldn’t follow you. You didn’t hate Namjoon, but sometimes his attitude towards you was just too much for you. Today was one of the days where you just couldn’t handle his attempts to flirt with you.

The next morning you checked your emails as per usual. Your work inbox included some data files of people you had to get in contact with, as well as a notification that an appointment was today at 3PM. You went over to your private inbox since there was nothing unusual in your work inbox, and you still had some time until work started. You put your kettle on the stove to make yourself a tea and worked your way through your private emails. Everything was normal until one of the emails caught your eye.

“Huh? That’s from work, but why did they send that to my private email?” confused but ensured that it’s just a mistake since they have both of your email addresses you opened the mail.

What’s up with this?

Your eyebrows furrowed even more, showing a deep crease in between them. Instead of the usual text, the email contained a random variation of numbers, letters, and punctuation characters. You rubbed your eyes for a second just to make sure that it wasn’t your eyesight acting up.

“This is a first… I better tell the IT department about that.” Making yourself some notes in your work calendar for the day, you finished your breakfast and made your way to the office.

After telling the IT department your concerns with the email you got, they assured you they’d look into it and keep you updated. Taking and giving one call after the other, you sat at your desk for hours, managing appointments for the next few weeks and going through the data the Finders gave you. Noticing the same bug on one of the data files as the one on the email you got this morning, you took the file and went over to the Finder department. Going through rows and rows of desks with computers and paper piles on them high enough to suffocate you if they would ever tip over, you searched for the Finder of this data file. You went to the department head Kim Seokjin to ask him about it first.

“Oh, that’s Namjoon’s case. He should be at his desk right now. But good that you found that. Would be a ton of work if this happened more often. We can print it out again for you. Might be our first little bug in the system right there.” Upon hearing the Finder’s name you sigh deeply, not sure if you were up to talk with him today, but you pulled yourself together immediately and thanked him for the help. You found Namjoons desk quickly, him being taller than anyone else in this office. He seemed focused on his work, typing away, and checking the papers to his left and right over and over. You’ve never seen him work at his desk before, and it almost shocked you how serious he seemed.

“Namjoon?” you asked very cautiously, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden for disturbing him at work.

“One second. I just need to finish these so that I can read them into the system and run the analysis.” He said, not even looking up from his work. It took a few more minutes before he tapped on his keyboard one last time and turned to you, satisfied with his work. Noticing now that it was you who called him made his whole attitude change a little.

“Y/N. What gives me the honor? Are you finally accepting my offer of lunch together?” You rolled your eyes, smiling a little, and put one hand on your hips, shifting your weight on one foot.

“The computer already said that you and I don’t match at all. You should know that better than everyone else since you ran the analysis on it. What was it again? 5% compatibility?”

“Okay, okay, I got it. You don’t have to sugarcoat your hatred for me. How can I help you?” He replied, acting deeply hurt with a very sarcastic undertone. Although his grin didn’t falter a bit the whole time, he turned a little more serious at the end.

“I’m here because of the data file on Jung Hoseok. I don’t know what happened with this, but I can barely read any information except for his Only and his address.”

Namjoon took the file out of your hand, and within one second, his grin turned into a frown. “What the hell… I remember exactly that I wrote everything down in the system. Why is it all gibberish now?”

“I don’t know, but I was hoping you could print it out for me directly from the program? Maybe the internal emailing has a bug.”

“Sure, just one second.” He turned towards his computer, typing away on the keyboard, and just a few seconds later, you could already hear the printer running. Namjoon got up and took the paper out of his printer. Checking it over one more time, his eyebrows furrowed again. “Strange…”

“What’s strange?” you asked, immediately going to look at the paper in his hand.

“The analysis is missing.” He was right. The whole paragraph on their compatibility was missing, but at least now it had all information on the persons themselves.

“That is strange. But this will be enough to get in contact with him and his Only for now. Can you tell Seokjin about this? I need to get ready for an appointment and also call this fellow.” You asked Namjoon.

“Only if you eat lunch with me together tomorrow. Just as friends, of course.” He grinned, which made you laugh a little.

“I have a lunch appointment tomorrow. Sorry, but how about Friday?” he let out a breathy laugh, sighing a little at the end.

“Sure. Friday then.”

“Okay. And just so you know, I don’t hate you.” A smile formed on his lips, although he tried to hide it, revealing his dimples. You gave him a playful shove and said your goodbye without even noticing the way he watched you walk away.

“Hello, here is One and Only Office Implementer Y/N Y/L/N. Am I speaking with Jung Hoseok?” Driving home in your car after the afternoon appointment, you called him on speaker. There was a short pause, followed by a loud crash on the other end of the call and a hurried reply.

“Yes! Yes, hey. I’m Jung Hoseok.” His voice sounded friendly and intoxicatingly happy. It had a soothing undertone to it.

“Mr. Jung, we found your Only, and I would like to make an appointment to talk about the next steps with you in person. When would be the right time for you?”

“Wow. Um- this is amazing. Sorry, I’m a little bit overwhelmed. I’ve been waiting for this moment since I was a little boy.” You couldn’t help the smile spreading on your face. His reaction was too cute, making you giggle a little. You pulled yourself together immediately again.

What the hell was that? Something that unprofessional never happened to me. I just giggled at a client! How embarrassing.

“Sorry, um- I didn’t mean to laugh. Your reaction was just too cute-“ WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING?!

You heard a hearty laugh at the other end of the phone.

“It’s alright. I’ll make time whenever you are available.” He replied, still laughing a little. Hearing his laugh made you blush without even noticing and laugh a little again too.

“How about tomorrow evening? 6PM?”

“Okay, it’s a date.” He replied cheerfully. Out of nowhere, your heart started beating like crazy. Making your goodbye as quickly as possible, you ended the call and stopped driving at the side of the road for a moment catching your breath.

What’s wrong with my heart? Is this a panic attack? It doesn’t feel like usual.

You tried all sorts of breathing exercises until your heart stopped beating so fast. Only when your heartbeat was back to normal, you started driving again.

Back home, you changed into your workout gear, taking your bag, and going to your weekly dance practice. You weren’t the best dancer, but you weren’t bad either. Nothing you could make money with, but doing it made you happy for sure. You loved your job, so you didn’t have a real eagerness to become a fulltime dancer anyways. On top of this was your best friend in the same team as you. You greeted her with a warm hug and sat down on the ground next to her starting to stretch together. After exchanging some updates about your week, she started showing you videos of this dancer she found on the internet just recently.

“He’s seriously amazing. His technique and precision on the music is out of this world. He’s my new idol, I swear.” She talked excitedly about him, pointing out the details of every choreography.

“Wow, he’s really good. What’s his name?”

“He goes by J-Hope, but no one knows his real name. He’s been going to a lot of competitions with his team and solo. He’s really lowkey on his social media, never giving any hints about his personal information.” Your friend stated sulkily.

“You already stalked his socials?” You scoffed, laughing a little.

“You know me.” She grinned back at you, getting up shortly after because practice started.

“Okay we’re gonna work on positions for the next dance performance today. Let’s see. We’re gonna make a triangle formation for the beginning. Y/N, you’ll come to the front.” Your dance coach instructed you, and you started walking to the front, hearing some whispered words along the way.

“Why is she always at the front?” – “I know, she’s not even that good.” – “Yeah.” – “Maybe she has a thing with the teacher?”

Swallowing hard, you tried to ignore their whispered comments, only focusing on what the coach has to say. You wouldn’t give them the favor of letting your true feelings show. The truth was that you always doubted your skills, and if it wasn’t for your best friend being here, you wouldn’t have the courage to come to practice in the first place.

Half an hour of just going through the positions and formations for the show passed until you practiced with music for the first time. Your best friend was dancing right next to you in the formation when she suddenly crash-landed on the floor, screaming and wincing in pain. The music was cut off immediately, and one of your teammates crouched next to your friend, asking her if she was alright.

“Y/N shoved her! I saw it with my own eyes. She wouldn’t even let her best friend be with her in the spotlight.” One of the girls from before suddenly exclaimed. You wanted to rush to your best friend, but the sudden accusations that now started coming from all the other girls caught you off-guard. Your whole body was starting to shake, eyes never leaving your friend who was clutching her leg with an expression twisted with pain. The coach went to your friend immediately, lifting her up and declaring practice was over for today and that he would bring her to the hospital. You were frozen in place, still shocked by everything that happened. Tears stung in your eyes, making you close them tightly. You started to move with closed eyes, shoving the girls that were still accusing you and now cornering you against the mirrored wall, to the side to take your bag and run out the door.

Throwing your bag on the passenger seat, you wasted no time to drive home, getting all sorts of flashbacks from high school. Your heart started racing, and your breath got more and more flat, forcing you to stop the car at the side of a road and get out to catch some fresh air. Going to the passenger side, you pulled the door open violently, not caring if anything broke, and searched for your medication in the glove compartment. Your hands were shaking and sweating like crazy, eyes slowly starting to get hazy, and the all too familiar feeling of dizziness setting in when you finally found your medicine. You quickly swallowed one of the pills and sat down on the grass next to your car until the medication set in. Sighing deeply, you let yourself fall back onto the grass, staring at the night sky where a few more stars glistened than in the center of the city where you lived.

The next day you received a call from your best friend. She wouldn’t be able to attend dance practice for a while because of her leg, and as far as she knew at that moment, she might even have to skip the performance. Your heart sank at that. Even though you knew you didn’t push her, you still felt guilty for not helping her immediately.

“I’m sorry how everything went yesterday. I didn’t know what to do, and then everyone started blaming me, and I don’t know.”

“Hey, Y/N. Don’t go blaming yourself as those idiots did. I know it wasn’t your fault. No one pushed me, I actually tripped over something although I don’t know what exactly. I’m sorry I couldn’t say anything at that time. Did you struggle a lot?” your best friend asked and proved to you again just how well she knew you.

“I’m okay. I just worry about you.” You answered although the aftermath of last night was clearly visible on your face. Your dark under-eye circles would even make a panda jealous and would need a lot of makeup to cover up later.

“Y/N…” your insightful friend knew you weren’t okay, but all you cared about was for her to get better soon.

“I have to go to work now. Please get well soon. Bye!” You hung up the phone before she could probe how you were really doing.

The day went by quickly with a lot of calls and appointments to do, and before you even realized it, your last appointment for the day was right around the corner. Walking up to the café he wanted to meet at, you kept watch for anyone who looked like he was waiting for someone. Since the data files were so messed up the picture that you would usually use to identify the client was barely visible. Walking around the café, you finally found a man sitting alone with his back to you. His style and overall appearance seemed like it could fit the age written on your papers so you made your way over to him.

“Mr. Jung Hoseok?” you asked politely, trying to look at his face while he was turning around with a sudden jump.

“Oh my god, you almost gave me a heart attack!” he exclaimed, downright scared, but then his whole expression changed when his eyes met yours. It felt like your eyes were drawn to his, not being able to stop staring into them. Hearing a loud noise, you both jolted out of your starring match and into reality.

“I’m sorry. Um- I-I’m Y/N Y/L/N, from the One and Only Office. Nice to meet you in person, Mr. Jung.” You held out your hand to greet him, and when he took your hand your whole body felt like electricity went through it, making you pull your hand away in shock.

“Sorry, I guess I must’ve become staticky somehow.” He answered and started grinning from ear to ear. “Hoseok is fine by the way. Can I call you Y/N?” You just nodded, feeling the heat in your cheeks.

What’s wrong with me? Am I coming down with something? I feel so hot.

“Let’s get started, shall we?” You suggested, and took a seat across from him at the square table you were at.

“So, there has been some kind of problem with our system. Your analysis is not on here right now, but since the computer put your names together in the first place, I can tell you for sure that this is your Only.” You explained, pushing the details of his Only to him. He looked at the data intently, reading through everything while his brows knitted together in confusion. You took the opportunity to really look at all his features for the first time. His face had very gentle features, but his eyes seemed like they could change from kind to intimidating in the split of a second. Something about him seemed so very familiar to you, but you just couldn’t pinpoint what it was. It almost drove you into madness.

While reading through the interests and character of his Only his head tilted to the side almost seeming confused and unsure. He put down the papers, folding his hands together and intertwining his fingers. His elbows were resting on the table while his eyes were still looking at the data.

“This is really strange. I always thought… Well, don’t get me wrong I trust you completely but, I always thought my Only would have more in common with me.” Confusion was now not only visible on his face but also on yours.

“Do you mean you have nothing in common with that person?”

“Well not nothing but… it’s just very minor things that we have in common.”

“Hm, maybe it’s one of those opposites attract situations?” you suggested in hope to be right. With every passing minute you spend working on Jung Hoseok’s case it gets weirder and weirder.

“Hm, yea. Maybe you’re right.” Smiling a little again, his eyes met yours again, but there was something in them that bothered you. Disappointment? Sadness?

“I’m sorry if I’m crossing boundaries here but, you seem a little displeased by what I showed you, Hoseok.” Your eyes filled with worry while he started looking away slightly embarrassed.

“I guess I just expected more. Maybe also just someone that was more…” his gaze went swiftly over all of your features. “My type.”

You felt your cheeks heating up again.

Did he just check me out? Nah, I must be imagining things.

Clearing your throat, you took the data files back and stored them in your back.

“I’ll tell you as soon as I make an appointment to meet with your Only. Until then, feel free to contact me if you have any further questions regarding the O3 program. Since your Only lives in Busan, we’ll be driving you down there and make sure you have a safe trip and a place to stay there.” You explained to him getting ready to leave. When you got up, he also got up abruptly almost knocking over his chair.

“Will you be the one driving with me?” he asked you with his eyes full of solicitation. He seemed nervous because of the first meeting you assumed.

“It’s not the custom for an Implementer to accompany the One to their Only…” you tried to talk yourself out of it, but the way he was looking at you like a sad puppy made you crumble immediately.

“But… of course, I could ask if they could make an exception and let me go with you. If that makes you more comfortable.” His lips started forming a heart-shaped smile even spreading to his eyes.

“It would make me much more comfortable. I’m looking forward to seeing you again soon.” He simply answered, holding his hand out for a last handshake with you. You took his hand, and again there was this feeling of electricity going through your body, but this time he didn’t let you pull away, holding your hand a little longer than expected. You parted ways shortly after that, but it felt different from your usual appointments. Something was different about this, and you felt like it wasn’t just all the bugs in the system.

The next day, you called Hoseok’s Only to make an appointment with her. Highly confused after that conversation, but still coming out of it with an appointment to make them meet for the first time, you hung up the call.

This gets weirder and weirder.

After thinking for what felt like a few hours about it, you started making your way over to the Finder Department again – more specifically Namjoon’s desk. This time he already noticed your approach from afar.

“My most favorite Implementer. Are you longing for meeting me that much lately? I’ve been seeing you almost every day. Not that I’m complaining, I really love it.” He grinned his charming dimpled grin from ear to ear at you. You leaned against his desk, half sitting on it while looking into the distance still thinking. His expression started changing when you didn’t reply anything to him, eyebrows now knitted with concern.

“You okay?” The joking sound had left his voice completely when he saw how serious you were.

“Yeah. I am. It’s just… you remember that case I got? The Jung Hoseok one?” he nodded hesitatingly. “Well, I met with Hoseok and he was… highly confused because his Only sounded like it wouldn’t match at all.”

“But we had people before who were complete opposites and they worked out just fine.” Namjoon started reasoning, eyes still soft and filled with concern completely fixated on your figure.

“Yeah, I told him that too. But something about this just doesn’t feel right. Like all those bugs that only appeared in this case and then his Only also seemed completely disappointed when I told her who her partner is. This is making me doubt this case more and more so I just have to ask you.” You turned your head to look Namjoon right into the eyes.

“Was there anything suspicious happening while you were working on this case? Did really nothing go wrong or did a server crash and mix up the people? Systems aren’t always perfect so I gotta ask.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N, but I can’t say I have seen anything weird with it while working on it…” His eyes went back to the screen midway through the sentence making you look down at your shoes.

“Okay, thanks anyways.” Getting up you pushed yourself off his desk a little. “See you Friday at lunch.” A smile that you knew wasn’t showing in your eyes formed on your lips and with a last small wave you went back to your desk for the rest of the day.

It had been two weeks since you last saw Hoseok, and you couldn’t feel more nervous. You didn’t even understand why you were feeling like that in the first place. He was just a client after all. But still, you took two hours to put together an outfit and spent an extra 30 minutes to do your hair too which you usually wouldn’t.

You drove to the place he wanted you to pick him up from, with the car you would both drive to Busan in. Your luggage was packed away carefully so that there was still enough space for his stuff in the back of the car, and although you weren’t the biggest fan of driving long distances you were still excited for it.

Parking the car, you held in front of a tall building with a whole front made of windows. You double checked the address before you made your way in going straight for the front desk.

“Good Morning, my name is Y/N Y/L/N, and I’m from One and Only Office. I’m here to meet with Jung Hoseok.” You explained politely.

“Let me see.” The receptionist moved her finger down a long list before she stopped at one line. “Ah, here it is. Y/N Y/L/N. Mr. Jung is still at practice in room 1.03. It’s on the first floor to your left, the third door. He allowed me to tell you to just go in when you arrive.”

“Thank you.” You smiled at her before you started moving towards the room. When you stood right in front of the room you could hear music coming from the inside. It sounded as if you were underwater only the bass rang out to you until you opened up the door. What you saw inside made your jaw drop immediately. Hoseok was dancing with four other guys in absolute synchronicity and finally it hit you where you saw him before. You heard your best friends voice loud and clear in your head even with the music hitting your ears.

“He goes by J-Hope, but no one knows his real name. He’s been going to a lot of competitions with his team and solo. He’s really lowkey on his social media, never giving any hints about his personal information.”

He is J-Hope… Jung Hoseok… J-Hope… Jung equals J and Hoseok equals Hope. Wow, I could’ve guessed that.

The sudden quiet when the music turned off made you jolt out of your thoughts.

“Y/N!” You heard an excited voice call out to you. A sense of joy spread throughout your body immediately, making you smile.

“Nice to see you again, Hoseok. Are you ready for the trip?”

“Oh, that’s Y/N? Wow we heard a lot about – uff” the sentence by one of the younger looking boys was caught off by the one next to him hitting him with his elbow in the stomach. You looked at them questioningly, but still smiling.

“He meant we heard a lot about Hoseok’s Only and your great work with that.” Another one with very broad shoulders answered for him.

“Ah. I don’t do half of the work that gets put in a case.” You explained quickly with a little laugh. Hearing the door open behind you again you stepped aside to let the person get in. A boy that looked like he was in the same age span as the one that got hit met your eye, and started smiling a square smile at you.

“Oh! You must be Hoseok’s Only! Wow, you’re really exactly his type. Do you dance too? That would be awesome you guys could do couple choreographies!”

“I-I do but I’m not-“

“You do?? That’s so cool! Did you hear that Hoseok hyung? She dances, too! Why do you have such a strange look on your face?”

“Taehyung, she’s not his Only.” The one with the broad shoulders explained to Taehyung who was still standing in front of you, and now looking at you pouting.

“You sure?” He asked sulkily, and it made your heart almost explode when you started thinking of the possibility of you being Hoseok’s Only.

“I think we should really get going!” Hoseok suddenly declared when Taehyung opened his mouth to continue voicing all of his doubts. Being pushed out of the room in a rush, you only had a second to say goodbye before you and Hoseok were alone in the hallway.

“Shall I take one of the bags?” You offered up, but he quickly took his backpack and luggage before you could.

“Don’t worry. I’m strong.” He answered, smirking and winking at you, making you blush. You looked away immediately, and picked up a faster pace walking in front of him now so he wouldn’t notice your expression.

“Okay, then let’s get going. We’ve got a long drive ahead of us.”

You were driving in silence sitting next to each other, not sure whether the two of you should start up a conversation or not. Hoseok was sitting in the passenger’s seat, wearing a simple white oversized shirt tucked into ripped jeans he switched into after practice. His gaze was set on the scenery out his window with one arm leaning on the door below it. You sneaked a few glances at him while driving, feeling your eyes drawn to him whenever you stopped looking.

Eyes on the road, Y/N. Don’t want any accidents on the job. You can stare at him lat- OMG no you can’t stare at him at all. You’re bringing him to his Only and THAT’S IT!

Lecturing yourself in your head nonstop, you jumped a little when the music suddenly turned on making you drive in a slight curve for a second.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you. I just thought some music would be nice.” Hoseok apologized to you.

“It’s okay… Just warn me next time.” You replied, laughing a little. You started relaxing a little while he selected the music on his phone that he connected with the car speakers. Tapping on the steering wheel, you started humming and singing to all the songs you knew, which were a lot on his playlist, and every song you didn’t know you loved nonetheless.

“I’m surprised that you know this band.” You heard Hoseoks voice over the music.

“They are amazing. I actually went to their concert last year and it was the best concert I’ve been to so far.” You got excited all over again just talking about the concert and seeing the memories replay in your head.

“How cool, I was there too! Did you go to the one in Seoul?” Nodding and humming as a yes, you kept your eyes on the road for safety. “Can’t believe I didn’t see you there.”

“Well, there were thousands of people so the chance that we’ve crossed paths is very small. And even if we crossed paths, we could’ve still just ignored each other.” You answered trying to suppress the increasing heartbeat of yours.

“I don’t think I could’ve ignored you.” His voice was just loud enough for you to hear. It was almost just a mumble as if he wasn’t sure whether or not he should say it. Your eyes glanced at him. He was looking out the side window, chin leaning on his hand, and slightly looking like he was mad about something. Opening your mouth to ask what was wrong, your thought got interrupted by a beeping sound of your car. You looked down at the fuel gage noticing that it needed a refill so you took a turn at the next sign for a gas station. Done with paying for the refill, you headed back out to the car where Hoseok was waiting for you when someone approached you quickly.

“Excuse me, I’m sorry if this is weird but you kind of captured my attention and I just thought maybe I could give it a shot and just ask for your number?” the man in front of you didn’t look bad, and his approach didn’t offend you in the slightest, but you just didn’t feel like giving your number out.

“I’m sorry, I don’t give out my number.” You replied politely. “But I admire your courage.” With that you started walking towards your car again, but you couldn’t even take two steps before he was in front of you again.

“Why not? I promise it won’t be a waste of your time.”

“I’m really sorry.” You replied again still with a polite smile.

“Aw, come on. I can offer you a lot.” He grabbed your arm when you started walking past him again.

“Please let go of me.” You tried to push his hand off you, but he wouldn’t budge.

“I’m just asking for a chance.”

“And she’s asking you to let her go.” You suddenly heard another voice behind you. Turning your head to the side you saw Hoseok now next to you. In one swift movement, he removed the hand of the man from your arm, and took your hand in his to pull you with him.

“Let’s go.” He simply said while walking to the car. Your eyes were fixated on his face, but the only thing you could make out from this angle was his tense jaw. Opening the passenger door, he pushed you gently inside before making his way to the driver door.

“Keys.” Hoseok looked at you while holding out his hand.

“Hoseok, is everything okay?”

“I should be asking you that. Why didn’t you call out to me?” He looked into your eyes clearly mad.

“He was just a little bit persistent… He didn’t hurt me or anything and I’m sure he-“

“You’re sure he what? Would’ve let you go? I know those types of guys. He wouldn’t have given up so easily if I wouldn’t have gone to get you.”

“It wasn’t that big of a deal, Hoseok. This happens to every women once in a while and I-“

“But you’re not every woman!” he suddenly yelled at you making you jump and look at him in surprise but, it just took you one moment to get yourself back together.

“What am I then, huh?” you asked back provokingly.

“You’re- You’re a person I don’t want to get hurt.” Every bit of anger that you had left in your body suddenly vanished with this sentence from him. You were speechless, and looked into his eyes which weren’t angry anymore as well. A loud honking sound brought you both back to the real world where a few cars were already waiting for you to make space at the gas station.

“W-We should get going…” you said, still a little bit shy while he nodded. He lifted one hand out of the car as an apology to the people behind you while he started driving back on the road.

… Wait a minute

“Why are you driving now anyways?” you asked him a few minutes later, and he just started laughing suddenly.

“You just noticed??”

A few hours later ,you arrived at your hotel in Busan. Your office really didn’t do things by half-measures. The room – or better called a suite – you two lived in had two bedrooms, a small living room, a kitchen area to eat and make late night snacks, and a huge bathroom.

“Wow, I should ask if I can go along more often.” You simply stated while going inside the suite. Hoseok dropped his bags, mouth hanging wide open. Suddenly he ran to one of the bedrooms just to jump on the bed with arms and legs spread widely like a starfish. Your eyes followed him with the sudden movement making you laugh immediately.

“This is great!” He exclaimed, sitting himself up to look at you again. “What’s next on our plan? Dinner? Karaoke Bar? Or maybe we could go dancing?”

“Those all sound great but we actually have an appointment to meet with your Only in an hour. Just enough time to get ready after that long drive.” You explained watching his expression change from excited to sulky.

I’ve never seen a client be so unhappy to meet his Only.

A smile started spreading on his face again, but it didn’t seem as excited as before.

“Okay, let’s get ready.” he said, before jumping up and getting his stuff to put on something nice. You did the same in the other bedroom, changing into your usual work outfit – with just a little more care than usual.

Ding – Dong –

The doorbell sound rang through your ears for a moment. Hoseok was standing next to you, wearing a nice button-down shirt and black trousers. He was looking way too good for your taste which somehow made you feel uneasy about the meeting. You were confused by your own feelings, but at least you were able to convince him to fully button up his shirt instead of leaving the first few buttons open – which had him looking even better before.

With a squeak the door opened up and behind stood a young lady, maybe five or so years younger than you. She had short black hair and wore a headband to keep it behind her ears.

“Hello, you must be Miss Y/L/N, I’m Lee Jisu.” the girl introduced herself shaking your hand and then looking at Hoseok.

“Nice to meet you in person, Miss Lee. If I may introduce you two: this is Jung Hoseok. Your partner. Hoseok, this is Lee Jisu, your Only.” You introduced them both, and with a smile on their face they greeted each other properly but something was different from the other people you brought together.

There is no visible spark… Maybe I’ve been watching too many romance movies but usually when I meet the couple later, they’re so head over heels for each other. Maybe it needs some time?

“Shall we go inside?” Jisu asked, getting your attention back.

“Yea, let’s go.” Hoseok replied, taking the first steps inside. You stood outside, knowing that your part was done for today, and wanting to head back to the hotel. Turning around, you were surprised to suddenly feel a hand on your wrist.

“Where are you going?” When you looked up to the person holding you it was Hoseok’s face meeting you with an almost panicked expression. You looked at him in confusion.

“I’m going back to the hotel. You two need to get to know each other, and I’ll be in the way if I stay. I only got the instructions to bring you here and observe the development of the next few days.” Explaining the situation how you were taught at the office, you noticed his struggle to come up with an answer. In the end, he just let go of your wrist without another word.

“Okay, I’ll see you later tonight then.” With these words he turned around and went inside. You didn’t move a muscle until the door was shut feeling like you’re about to lose something dear to you. Taking all the willpower you got, you forced yourself to turn away and go back to the hotel.

You were exhausted. Your whole body was screaming at you being too tired to do anything anymore after getting ready for bed. All fours spread widely on the bed – mimicking Hoseok’s position when he jumped on the bed earlier – you stared at the ceiling. You looked to the wall where a big clock was hung.

“AARRGGHH How is it past midnight already?? Why can’t I sleep???” You took a pillow to scream into while kicking the bed underneath you.

“Y/N are you okay?!” His panicked voice made you sit up, immediately hiding your legs – you were wearing a pair of really short pajama shorts – with the pillow you used to scream into just now.

“Hoseok, you’re back?” Your face was bright red while you tried playing cool in front of him.

“Yea, and I thought I heard you screaming so I came to look if everything was okay…” He looked a little more relaxed now that he knew that you were okay, but judging from his messy hair and slightly unbuttoned shirt you thought he must’ve been in the middle of changing before running to you.

“I’m okay. I just had troubles falling asleep and got frustrated.” You explained bluntly honest to your own surprise. It was just too easy for you to open up to him.

“Oh, hang on a second. I’ll be right back.” Hoseok replied after thinking for a second. After he left your room you took the time to hide your lower body under the blanket leaning yourself on the headboard. After a few minutes had passed, he came back wearing  jogger pants and a sweater as pjs and carrying two mugs.

“Here you go.” He said while holding one of the mugs out to you. “I didn’t know if you are lactose intolerant so I used the lactose free milk. This always helps me sleep. My mum gave me the recipe.” His smile was proud and contagious making you smile a little too.

“Thank you.” You replied, really meaning it while he sat down at the edge of the bed still facing you. “Are you close to your mum?”

“Very much. I just wish I had more time to spend with her. Work is keeping me busy. I’m gonna make it up to her though. Once I saved up enough money, I’m gonna buy her and my dad a nice little restaurant where she can show everyone what an amazing cook she is. You know her Kimbap is the best I’ve ever eaten, you need to try-“ his eyes looked up at you smiling heartwarming at him because he looked so happy talking about his mum. He cleared his throat looking at you apologetically.

“Sorry for rambling on like that.” He simply said and lifted his mug to drink some of the milk.

“No worries really! I actually enjoyed it. I’m close to my family too so I can understand.” You replied, giving him a small smile that he returned. The atmosphere changed between the two you, making you feel a little restless and strangely hot.

“So, uh, how was the date?” He almost choked on his warm milk when you asked him, making you lean forward and pat his back with a worried look while he started coughing.

“I- … It was okay. She’s nice. Very polite. Called me Mr. Jung the whole time.” He laughed a little. “I don’t know about this…”

“Maybe you guys need more time together. You’ll meet again tomorrow anyways so I’m just gonna leave you guys to it again.”

Why am I so happy that it went badly? This is my job, and if it goes badly it would mean that we made a mistake for the first time. That’s a huge deal.

He nodded, looking at the wall in front of him.

“Say, do you have an Only yet?” Now it was your turn to almost choke on the milk, but at least you didn’t have to cough.

“No, I don’t. Everyone always jokes I’m gonna stay a One forever.” A smile was tugging on his lips.

“And what do you think about that?” he asked, referring to the “One forever” part.

“Well, I was starting to believe it too.” You laughed a little. “And I thought I’d be fine with that.”

“Why the past tense?” His eyes looked straight into yours, no joking whatsoever visible anymore. It made you forget all the punchlines you’d usually say in those situations and just stare into his eyes until you couldn’t handle it anymore and looked away.

“I don’t know. I guess something changed.” He hummed accepting that answer for now, but you could see the smirk on his lips.

“So, after lunch we’re going to meet with Jisu again and you two will have another date to get to know each other better. Everything clear so far?” Hoseok nodded while drinking the last bit of his Sprite before he was done with his meal. After you paid for the lunch with the company card you both made your way over to Lee Jisu’s home where you were greeted with a very unsettling sight.

“A police car…” Hoseok stated, looking at Jisu’s mother talking to a police officer with worry in her face.

“Did something happen yesterday?” you asked Hoseok, but he just shook his head looking just as worried and confused as you. You parked the car and left it together to ask what was going on.

“She has short straight black hair and was wearing a blue t-shirt and jeans. I- I think she took the white converse shoes because I can’t find them anywhere but- Oh, Miss Y/L/N. I’m so sorry I forgot to call you.” Jisus mother greeted you immediately when she saw you interrupting her explanation to the officer.

“Call me? I’m sorry but may I ask what happened Mrs. Lee?” you asked with confusion.

“Jisu ran away.” She sighed. “She’s nowhere to be found and I think it’s because I forced her to do the Only meeting and I’m-“ tears were starting to run down her face, and it looked like it wasn’t the first time today. You immediately searched for a tissue to give to her, but Hoseok was even faster than you holding it out for her.

“Thank you, Hoseok.” Jisus mother said, taking the tissue.

They already seem so close… you tried to suppress the frown building on your face.

“She ran away? What do you mean by forcing her to meet her Only?”

“Well, you see. Before you called to tell her that you found her Only, she was convinced that Seok Jo – the boy living in the village nearby – was her Only. She was waiting for the day that the office confirmed it for her so the two of them could finally get married. I always told her that it might not be him but she-“ Mrs. Lee started sobbing again, interrupting herself.

She already has someone she loves that much? No wonder she was so cold towards me during the call and so distant to Hoseok.

Your eyes searched for Hoseok reading his expression that was fixated on Jisu’s mother.

“Do you have any clue where she could be? Friends or family nearby?” You asked, looking at Mrs. Lee again. She just shook her head.

“Seok Jo doesn’t answer his phone and I know he might be sleeping because he worked late yesterday, but I don’t want to leave the house in case she comes back. My husband already started driving to our family to look for her there. But…”

We need to do something. We can’t just wait and see what happens.

“We can go and look for her at Seok Jo’s place.” Hoseok suddenly said, making your eyes draw to him in surprise, but your expression changed quickly to thankfulness. Looking back at Mrs. Lee you nodded at her.

“We just need his address and we’ll handle it.” You added, and Mrs. Lee hugged you both before she went inside to get the address.

You were restless. This case was getting so complicated, and you just felt like there was something horribly wrong with it. Your eyes drifted to Hoseok who was driving with his eyes forward looking all tense himself.

There must’ve been a mistake at the office. It can’t be anything else. I just don’t know what else could cause such a mess. This all just doesn’t make sense! Should I tell him my doubts? What will he think of me once I tell him? He will hate me for sure. But if I don’t tell him and it really was a mistake the office made; he’ll hate me for not telling him my doubts. What should I do? What-

“You okay?” Hoseok suddenly asked with his eyes on you for a second. You didn’t even notice how long you stared at him, eyes full of worry.

“Actually, no.” your eyes darted away dancing around the area. “I’m not okay. I feel like I’m getting sick to be honest.” Heartbeat increasing with every second, you felt a panic attack growing inside of you. Hands sweaty, breathing shallow, and your mind all hazy you lost yourself in all the doubts and self-destroying thoughts in your mind.

“Y/N?” You could feel Hoseok’s hand on yours, his voice full of worry, but it seemed all so far away like you were underwater.

“Please stop the car!” Was the only thing you were able to get out of your mouth, and he did exactly that, immediately stopping on a country road in the middle of two fields. You fidgeted with the door of the car struggling to get it open in your state since it wasn’t like your own car. You heard a loud bang, and a second later, Hoseok was on your side of the car opening the door and getting you out. He sat you down on the grass next to the road and crouched right in front of you.

“Y/N. Y/N, look at me.” He told you with a calm voice, still holding your hand with one hand, and using the other to direct your head so you looked at him. “Copy me. Breath in. Hold your breath. Good. 3… 2… 1… breath out. Now repeat with me.”

You copied his breathing and listened to every instruction he gave you. Slowly, your heartbeat was decreasing again, palms becoming dry, and head coming back out of its hazy state.

“You’re doing great. Just a few more times.” You just now noticed that his hand holding onto yours was checking your pulse while doing the exercise. “Okay. You’re okay. I’m here.” This was the moment you broke. Your arms swung around his neck, hugging him tightly, and he hugged you back, immediately dropping his knees to the ground to not fall over with you. His hand started stroking the back of your head comfortingly while you started sobbing silently.

You let go of him after a while, wiping away your tears which he helped you with by gently rubbing a tissue under your eyes. His eyes were full of warmth and comfort when you looked at them, which had you laughing a little, still affected by the panic attack you just had though.

“Don’t look at me like I’m a poor lost puppy you just found.” You joked a little, shoving against his shoulder gently. You felt exhausted from the panic attack, but not as bad as usual when you had to take the meds to get it away.

“Oh, you’re not?” He grinned, making you hit him against his chest a few times. “Ouch, ouch, ouch, sorry I take it back! I surrender!” He declared with his hands held high. Once you smiled at him and declared peace, he got up and held out his hands for you.

“Come on. We should talk to Seok Jo. And don’t worry, we’re going to find Jisu. You’ll be alright and back at your office in no time. So, just trust me. We’ll find my Only.” He smiled comfortingly while pulling you up on your legs.

“Yea, uhm well you see that’s exactly it. I think-“ Your sentence was interrupted by a loud honk making you both look in the direction you came from. A large tractor was standing there waiting for you to get driving since he couldn’t get past you. You both apologized to him and got in the car before anythingelse could be said.

“So… do you get these panic attacks often?” he asked carefully, trying to not touch a sensitive topic. You laughed a little.

“Smooth. But yea I do get them sometimes.”

“How come? If I may ask.”

“It’s okay. I’ve been struggling with social anxiety for a while now. It started in high school because of a whole lot of ugly bullying – don’t want to get into detail with that right now – but now I also get affected by stress. If I feel overwhelmed or socially pressured, I get them. It’s really annoying and frustrating but I can’t change it.”

“Socially pressured? How so?” he asked in the most careful and sensitive voice he could.

“Well, for example last time at dance practice. My best friend fell and hurt herself and everyone said I pushed her – which I didn’t. They were angry because I got the front position in our first formation in the choreography. And I just couldn’t handle all the blaming so I ran out and yea…”

“That sounds really mean. Why would they do that? If I would’ve been there with you, I would’ve told them off for good! They would never even dare to do that again to you!” Hoseok got angrier and angrier, explaining how he would’ve dealt with them if he would’ve been there which made you laugh at some point.

I’ve never told this to anyone except for very close family and friends. It’s way too easy to talk to Hoseok. I feel so at ease with him.

The door swung open after an eternity of ringing the bell.

“Mrs. Song, if it’s because of the apple tree I was going to cut it later toda- Who are you?” A very sleepy looking young man stood in front of you two, eyes closed when he opened the door and still dressed in pjs and a dressing gown.

“Sorry that we woke you up. Are you Seok Jo?” You asked politely, and the man in front of you nodded still suspicious. “You see, I’m Y/N Y/L/N from the O3 office. This is Jung Hoseok. He is listed as the Only of Miss Lee Jisu.”

This made the attitude of the guy in front of you change completely. Before you could even react, he had Hoseok grabbed at his collar, even lifting him up from the ground a little.

“So, you are the asshole that tries to steal away my Jisu? Let me tell you this. I WON’T let some townie like you just walk in here and take what belongs to me! Jisu is MY fiancé and I won’t accept this stupid agreement made by some company!” he yelled at Hoseok who just held onto the wrists of Seok Jo to keep himself in control somehow. You stepped in between them, quickly pushing Seok Jo away gently which he complied to letting go of Hoseok in the process.

“Please, Mr. Seok Jo! We’re not here because of the O3 agreement. We came here to find Jisu.” You explained quickly which again made him change his attitude.

“Find Jisu? What do you mean by that?”

“She ran away. Her mother said that she forced her into meeting with Hoseok – I mean – Mr. Jung and it seems like she is not pleased by the idea of being with her Only too much. We don’t want to force her into anything she doesn’t want. We’re not monsters, we just want people to be happy with each other. So, can you help us find her? I think something went terribly wrong here, and we need to fix this.” You could feel Hoseok’s piercing glance at you when you said the last sentence.

“O-Of course. Let me just get my shoes and keys and I’ll be right with you.” Seok Jo said rushed while stumbling back inside to put on his shoes, hitting himself on a shoe cabinet cursing in the process.

“You know.” Hoseok suddenly started speaking. “They really fit together.”

You looked at him trying to figure out what he was thinking while he said that, but since you didn’t get a big impression of Jisu you decided to trust his judgement and throw away your doubts.

A few hours of driving to every place Seok Jo thought Jisu could be passed, and to be honest, the whole situation was looking rather bleak. You took a short break to grab something to eat, stopping at one of the few convenience stores nearby.

“Where could she be..?” You mumbled while taking a bite from your sandwich.

“Is there really no other place you guys liked to go? If I was in her shoes, I would want to go somewhere only my love knows. A place with a big meaning to us.” Hoseok said bluntly while looking at his reflection in the window of the convenience store. Hearing a silent thud next to you, your eyes went to Seok Jo who just let his sandwich slide through his fingers.

“I think I know where she is.” He suddenly said, and you immediately grabbed your keys taking the sandwich with you to finish on the way instead.

“Then let’s go! It’s already getting really dark.” You declared, and the two of them just nodded and jogged out to the car. It was an hour-long drive to a far-off part of the beach in Busan. You had to leave the village where they lived and drive through the whole town before you found it. Without Seok Jo with you, you would’ve never found the way there. You parked the car and searched in the trunk for a few emergency flashlights. You gave each of them one and took one for yourself too.

“Okay, I’m not sure in which direction she could be so I’m going to walk along this side and you guys take the other one. If any of us finds her we call immediately, okay?” Seok Jo explained turning on his flashlight to search for Jisu at this pitch-black beach. You both nodded before parting ways with Seok Jo. You were grateful that Hoseok was staying with you since you didn’t like the dark at all. Although you couldn’t deny that the stars out here were really stunning.

“Jisu! Jisu are you here! Please answer if you hear us!” you called out every few steps just as Hoseok did too. You were searching for an hour already when it suddenly started pouring down.

“Shit! Let’s go find something to take cover.” Hoseok called out to you.

You started running to try and find some space free from rain when you found a small wooden cabin standing open at the back of the beach. It was just a storage space for the life guards but it didn’t seem like it was used often. You ran inside to get out of the rain already completely wet. Groaning in frustration and desperation, you leaned yourself on an old wooden broken desk that looked like it stood in an office at some point.

“This is hopeless!” you called out. “We’re never gonna find her. Especially not in a city we barely know.”

“Calm down, Y/N. It’s going to be fine. We’re going to find her and-“

“And what? Make you and her be together? Or make Seok Jo and her be accepted by her mother? Both seem impossible to me at the moment and do you know what that means? It means that I failed. My Office failed for the first time and this will kill our reputation. How are we going to explain that? This is our ruin!”

“It won’t be your ruin! It’s just one case that was wrong. ONE of how many?” Hoseok asked you, smiling a little while holding onto your shoulders gently. You let yourself slide down the desk until you were sitting on the floor, arms around your legs and back against the desk. He sat down beside you, sliding one arm around your shoulder comfortingly.

“4.376.938….” you mumbled quietly.

“See, it won’t ruin the office. And you can find the mistake and repair it so this won’t be happening again.” Hoseok was stroking your arm with his hand, and you just nodded at him.

“Yes, I’m just so sorry you have to go through all this trouble. And that Jisu is somewhere out there just because we made a mistake, in this rain, alone at that! I just- ugh” you tried hiding your face in your hands, but he wouldn’t let you, making you face him instead.

“Hey, it’s not your fault. Don’t go blaming yourself for this. And I actually like this trouble. Well, as long as I’m in trouble with you.” Your eyes softened just as his when he said that.

I don’t know anyone I would like to be in trouble with more than him.

And there it was. The moment you knew was going to happen as soon as your eyes met his for the first time. The moment you’ve been trying to avoid at all cost. He was leaning towards you, and within a mere second his lips were on yours, gently and feeling like it lasted only a few seconds. You both savored these few seconds like they were the only ones you ever had together. Opening your eyes slowly at the same time, your eyes met again. His hand wandered into your hair wanting to pull you in for another kiss when you suddenly heard a noise from the back of the cabin. Both of you turned your head towards it when you saw a figure opening the door of a room behind you. Grabbing your flashlight quickly you pointed it in the direction.

“Who’s there??” Hoseok asked, trying to seem intimidating if it was someone dangerous. But it wasn’t anyone like that.

“Jisu?” you asked quickly getting up and running over to her.

“Miss Y/L/N.” Jisu looked at you surprised. She was limping a little holding onto the doorframe and reaching out to you when you came near. You immediately held onto her to keep her steady.

“What happened to your leg? Come on, sit down.” You helped her over to the desk together with Hoseok who lifted her up on it to sit. While he checked on her leg you took out your phone ready to call Seok Jo.

“How did you find me?” Jisu asked while wincing when Hoseok found the spot that hurt.

“Seok Jo showed us. He searched with us all day to find you.” Hoseok explained while you called Seok Jo.

“Seok Jo? Is he here too?” Jisus eyes were glistening with hope and worry at the same time when she heard his name.

“He’s on his way.” You replied to her smiling after you hung up the call. “God, I’m so glad that we found you.” A hand spread on your shoulder squeezing it comfortingly.

“I am too.” Hoseok said standing to your left behind you. Jisu looked at you both with a look you couldn’t quite understand before she started smiling a little.

She seems happier than I thought about this situation. I thought she would try to escape from us again.

Seok Jo came running over to the cabin as soon as you told him that you found her. With his pjs and dressing gown completely soaked he stormed in the cabin. When he saw Jisu he immediately went to her and hugged her tightly. Tears were forming in his eyes while he continued to lecture her to never do that again.

“I just didn’t know what to do. Mr. Jung and I just don’t fit and I know that he felt that way just like I did. The only one I love is you. I’m really sorry, Miss Y/L/N, but Seok Jo is my Only no matter what everyone else wants to tell me. I’m convinced of that!” Jisu stated, trying her best to be brave and make her standpoint clear.

“Don’t worry, Jisu. I’ve already told Hoseok that I think something went wrong in the office. I’m going to go back and investigate the matter before telling you what really happened. I’m convinced too now that you and Hoseok just aren’t partners. I mean, I’ve been in this business for quite a while and when I look at you and Seok Jo I see the same as when my clients meet usually. So, how about we go back to your mother and explain the whole situation to her? I’m sure she’s still awake.” You explained, and could visibly see them both relax and exchange looks in between.  

“Oh god, my mother! She will kill me.” Jisu said suddenly, with her face full of worry. You all just had to laugh at that, trying to convince her that her mother will just be happy having her back home. After this, you made your way back to the car once the rain wasn’t too heavy anymore. Seok Jo was carrying his fiancé all the way like a princess which made you realize just how strong he must be from all the farm work he was doing. The two of them talked quietly with each other the whole way, walking in front of you since you didn’t know the way back to the car anymore. Hoseok was walking right next to you and at some point his hand found yours holding onto it softly. Your heart started beating faster, and again, it was like electricity was running through your whole body. You looked at him even though you could barely make out the silhouette of his face in the darkness.

No, this isn’t right. Even if he might not be Jisu’s Only, he will be someone else’s at some point. I can’t just toss all of my principles out of the window. I don’t want to go back to failed relationships anymore. As long as the computer won’t spit out who my Only is, I’ll be alone. Once I’m back at the office I’ll fix his case, and will have to make him meet up with his real Only. I can’t handle this.

Pulling your hand away softly, you took a small step to the side to bring some space in-between you. You held onto your hand in front of your chest while picking up the pace back to the car. Seok Jo and Jisu sat on the back seat, leaning onto each other, sleeping soundly. You looked back, smiling a little while putting a blanket on top of them. Hoseok was driving you guys back through the night of Busan, looking at you every now and then. He seemed like he had something on the tip of his tongue that he was dying to talk about, but something held him back. You tried to avoid his gaze as much as possible, but you felt his stare on you every time.

Once you arrived at Jisu’s home, her mother was so happy to have her back she even forgot to be angry about it. Both of them kept apologizing to each other, starting to take the blame for everything. You felt terrible for everything that happened, and stepped up to clear up the matter at hand. After you explained the whole thing again to Jisus mother, just like you did to them, she was angry for a short time, but quickly gave into Jisu’s and Seok Jo’s request to not blame you because it wasn’t your fault, but the systems. After a short discussion on how to proceed further, you and Hoseok finally made your way back to the hotel.

Both of you quietly went into your rooms, and you felt the awkward and tense atmosphere in the whole suite. After you both took a hot bath to warm yourselves up, you went out of your room to get something to drink. You noticed music playing in the living room and curiosity got the best of you. Hoseok was standing at the window with the back to you holding a glass of water in his hand just like you did. Instead of his usual hip hop playlist he was listening to a playlist filled with almost sad sounding music. The song playing that moment – Charlie Puths “Dangerously” – was on one of your playlists too because you related to the lyrics too much. You thought it was ironically fitting to your current situation as well.

“Hoseok?” He flinched a little at the sound of your voice over the music. Turning around, he walked up to you with a smile on his lips that wasn’t quite going to his eyes anymore. He put down your glass and his at the side before taking your hand playfully to make you dance with him.

“May I have this dance?” He asked, although you could see the worry in his eyes. You should’ve rejected him, but you wanted to do it so badly. Swaying with him while one song changed to another felt like heaven to you. It felt so right to be here with him, and you couldn’t help but laugh when he led you into crazy looking spins. He made you lean far back while supporting your lower back just to pull you back. Your forehead almost touched his when you came back up, both of you laughing a little. That was the moment your little dream bubble burst again. His hand went into your hair wanting to pull you in gently, but you pulled away.

“Please, don’t.” you said with your eyes down. A sigh left his mouth before he let go of you completely. He seemed angry, and you felt a sting in your heart when your eyes found his figure again.

“What did I do wrong? Did I do something, or say something that made you hate me all of a sudden? I thought… I thought you liked it too. I thought you liked me.” Hoseok asked you with desperation in his eyes that made your heart break.

“I do! I did. I mean… “ You sighed deeply. “Hoseok, I’m your Implementer. I’m a worker for the office that is supposed to find your perfect partner, and I’m not your perfect partner.”

“But what if you are? You said the system made a mistake so what if you are my real Only?” He took a small step closer to you again.

“That’s impossible. If I was your Only I would’ve gotten a notification all system problems aside. My name would’ve popped up somewhere and someone would’ve noticed.”

“Okay, then so what if you’re not?” He took your hands. “I want to be together with you and no one else!”

“But the computer-“

“To hell with the computer!” He suddenly screamed, making you pull your hands away from him and step back. “I-I’m sorry I didn’t want to raise my voice like that, but not everything is decided with logic, Y/N. In some moments, you just have to listen to your heart no matter how cheesy that may sound. My gut just tells me that you’re the one for me.” He took one of your hands again, but you pulled it away.

“You don’t understand this. This system is here to keep us from always trying and failing to find love. Even if we like each other now maybe in a few years we’ll hate each other, and I just can’t go through this anymore. It’s too painful!” You took a few steps back while talking.

“Y/N, please, I won’t hurt you. I could never hate you!”

“Everyone says that!”

“But I’m not everyone!”

“Who are you then, huh?!”

“I’m Jung Hoseok, and I’ve never fallen for anyone as hard as I did for you, and I know you did too!! Can you please stop denying it?!” You both were yelling at each other now.

“You can’t force me!! Just leave me alone!!!” You screamed at him, completely overwhelmed with this situation because of course he was right. You’ve never loved someone as much as you loved him, but you’ve been trusting the system and only the system for so many years that you couldn’t bring yourself to just trust your gut. You turned around and ran into your room. You just needed to get away from this situation, or else your feelings would overpower you.

“Y/N! Please, I’m sorry for yelling!” He was standing on the other side of your door. Tears started streaming down your face while you slid down the door until you sat on the ground.

“Just go away, please…” You sobbed and within seconds it was quiet. You heard his footsteps walk away from you, and you didn’t hear them come near you again for the whole night.

The next day you drove back to Seoul by yourself. Hoseok left without you in the morning, only leaving behind a small note and a bracelet that looked like the ones they sold at the village market you went by a few days earlier. You sighed, putting on the bracelet anyways since it was the only way to decrease the yearning for him in your heart a little.

A few days passed by, and you were back in your daily life working until late at night. Not having heard from Hoseok, nor having the courage to call him, you walked around like a heartbroken zombie. Even Namjoon noticed something was wrong with you when you went out for lunch together, but he didn’t ask too many questions about it which made you seek his company a lot more lately.

You were still investigating in the Jisu and Hoseok case, and everyone was informed by now that something went wrong there. Suddenly, a week after your return, your phone started ringing.

“Hey, Y/N, it’s SeokJin, could you come to the Finder department in half an hour? It’s about the Jung Hoseok case.” You heard SeokJin’s voice at the other end of the line. Your heartbeat increased immediately when you heard Hoseok’s name making you play with your bracelet.

“Have you found out what happened??” You asked while getting up immediately.

“Yes. We want to talk to you in person about this matter though. Can you come over then?”

“Sure!” You hung up before he could say anything more, and ignored the request to come in half an hour, too restless to wait even another second for the results. You rushed to the Finders department just to find the door of SeokJin’s office opened by a small gap. But you didn’t even need that gap to hear SeokJin yelling angrily at someone.

“What were you thinking?? Hacking yourself into the system just to exchange the names on the paper. Have you gone insane?! Do you know how much damage you could’ve done with this?? What is your damn reason?!”

“I don’t know… When I saw her name there I just- I didn’t think anymore. I blacked out. I didn’t want her to have an Only already…” You knew this voice, but you couldn’t believe what you heard there. You heard SeokJin sigh deeply, and when he spoke this time his voice was quieter.

“Look. Everyone knows how you feel about Y/N, but that doesn’t justify your actions. You exchanged her name for Lee Jisu who was actually partnered with her fiancé of two years. You could’ve destroyed four lives with your selfish actions, and I want you to apologize to everyone and make it right. Am I making myself clear? Just because you’re the grandson of our system developer I can’t go easy on you. This will have consequences even if you confessed yourself.” After hearing all this, your feet moved by itself taking you inside the room. SeokJin’s shocked eyes landed on you immediately followed by the culprits.

“Namjoon…you… you changed it?” His eyes darted down to the floor. He didn’t dare to look up while confirming everything. “H-Hoseok is my Only. And you knew? You erased my name and made me feel like I was crazy for doubting the computer?”

“Y-Y/N I’m so sorry. I just panicked when I saw your name there. I-I know I don’t have a chance with you, but this made it so final I just couldn’t handle it.” Namjoon explained, shaking. He seemed like a wreck, and you just couldn’t stay too angry at him. You took a deep breath to keep yourself composed.

“Is-“ you looked at SeokJin with eyes full of hope. “Is Hoseok really my Only?” SeokJin just smiled apologetically and nodded. You took in a deep breath, walked up to Namjoon and looked into his eyes. “I can’t forgive you right now. But I understand your motives, and I’m not angry at you. Just don’t force me to forgive you right now. I don’t have the strength for that yet. And honestly if I can’t fix this with Hoseok then I don’t know if I want to talk to you again. Now if you excuse me, I need to find my Only.” You turned away, but hesitated for one second turning to Namjoon one more time to give him one punch right in the stomach. He hunched over holding his stomach and started coughing just to laugh a second later.

“Okay yea I deserved that.” He simply said, while smiling in pain up at you which made your mouth corner twitch up for a second too. Next moment you were already rushing out as fast as possible calling Hoseok’s number every few minutes but he didn’t pick up. Figuring that he’s at dance practice you drove to the studio building only to be stopped at the entrance by two men and the receptionist of the front desk.

“I’m sorry but I need to see Jung Hoseok. Is he here? It’s really important!” you explained to her but she just looked at you apologetically.

“I have the instructions not to let anyone upstairs today. I’m really sorry Miss.”

“Can I at least leave a message for him? Please.” You pleaded, and although she looked a little reluctant at first, she took your message for Hoseok which you quickly wrote down on the page of this week from your work calendar and teared it out to give it to her. You hoped Hoseok would call you once he read it.

It was the same day, but later when you were on your way to dance practice. It was the first dance practice for you since your best friend got injured, and you were terrified of going inside and facing all of these people in there. You took a deep breath and with all your courage you made your way inside. You took a place in the back, too afraid of standing in front of everyone. The others were already whispering about you, and you felt your anxiety rise more and more. When the teacher came in you were a little bit relieved, but your anxiety showed in your dancing. He was very unsatisfied with you, and you were about to go out when suddenly a knock was heard on the door.

“I’m sorry I’m late but could I join your dance class for today? I’ll pay, I promise.” You couldn’t believe your eyes. It was Hoseok still in his full dance gear with his mask on looking just like he always did in his dance videos and it wasn’t just him.

“What do you mean ‘could I’ it should be ‘could we’!” You heard one of the younger ones of Hoseok’s dance team complain.

“And I told you guys to go home.” Hoseok complained while everyone came inside.

“How did you-“ You started, but he just fanned himself with your calendar page – where you also wrote down every practice and the addresses with it – winking at you.

Wow, I was unintentionally smart.

“Oh, that’s actually great. If all of you guys want to join in, we could try a partner dance today! Just go and get yourself a partner.” your instructor called out happily. He seemed thrilled to have some boys in his class for a change. Hoseok immediately took his place next to you. All the girls stared at you two and whispered his name over and over not able to believe it was the J-hope in front of them but you couldn’t care less. All that mattered was that he stood right in front of you right now.

“I’ve got my partner already.” Hoseok grinned while sliding off his mask.

“Not just partner. Your One and Only.” With your words Hoseok’s grin became even wider. He couldn’t help himself, and just hugged you tightly which you returned immediately.

“I knew it from the beginning!” He told you, sticking out his tongue at you like a child.

“I know, I know.” You rolled your eyes at him. “You’re never going to let me forget that, huh?”

“Well, at least now you know that you should always trust in my gut. It’s always right.” He grinned down at you. You both were interrupted by your teacher clearing his throat.

“Are you guys done? Now is dance class time. You have enough time to be all lovey-dovey later.” Your teacher nagged at you, but you could see that he wasn’t too serious about it.

“Yes, sir!” Hoseok replied and then leaned to whisper in your ear. “The rest of our lives should be enough time, right?” Normally you would freak at the thought of such a large commitment, but it just felt right this time. A big grin spread on your face before you replied.

“Barely.”

Masterlist

a/n: I hope you liked this quite long OS! It’s the longest one I’ve written on Tumblr so far and I was really nervous to upload it since a lot of work went into it. Share your thoughts with me if you want to! Every interaction no matter if it’s a like or a comment makes me want to keep going and reminds me of how much I love to write. Doesn’t matter how long of a pause was in between I’ll always come back because of the lovely people reminding me that I love to write <3 thank you all for reading!

[lovelyirony]

could you write something for trans pepper coming out to tony please?

authors note: i am not an expert, nor am i trans. please let me know if i have written anything wrong/harmful, and i’ll take it down

When Pepper started at Stark Industries, she told herself that she would not get too involved. She was here to do her job, and nothing else. She had caused “problems” at her last job, and in return they had caused problems for her as well. 

(Sitting by herself at the cafeteria, fielding uncomfortable messages, and correcting intentionally wrong emails had been...exhausting. Mentally and physically.) 

But this? No, this can’t go on. 

The math is all wrong. It’s going to cost the company about a million dollars if she lets it pass, and while she’s sure that it could be replaced easily in a day, that’s the kind of thing that gets you fired. And when employers look at your resume and see that you were terminated from the highest-ranking job to have for an accountant, a prestigious company that takes pride in accurate numbers and satisfied employees? 

Well...it doesn’t look too hot. 

So she brings it up. Her boss isn’t exactly happy with her. She thinks the numbers were probably intentional. 

“I’ve been doing this for years, I think I know a little bit more than you, young lady,” he scowls. 

Pepper’s not exactly fazed at the dismissive remark. 

“Then I’m sure that you’ll know that your math is wrong. It’d be better to double-check it and be right and have me be in the wrong than not check it and be fired.” 

He doesn’t check it. 

But when he’s called into Mr. Stark’s office, he must have mentioned her name. 

He put the blame on her. 

Pepper cannot believe it as she’s called in. 

“So, Mark tells me that you did math wrong.” 

“I didn’t. I triple-checked it, and kept the receipt tape as proof.” 

“Oh, I know. Mark can’t do math for shit, but he hates when people tell him. But I’m glad you did, because it made me realize I can’t have someone who’s so insecure that when someone tells them to double-check it and they don’t because they want to be right, that...I don’t know what I was doing. Anyways, he’s fired.” 

Pepper blinks. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, really. Also, I’m reading your file. Virginia? Did your parents hate you?” 

“Not the worst name I’ve been given,” Pepper says smoothly. 

“Hm. Says here that you go by Pepper. I like that.” 

“Thank you, chose it myself and everything.” 

“And everything?” Tony asks, smiling. “I like that.” 

- 

Four months later, she’s in the break room when Tony’s personal assistant quits on the spot after he’s late for the third time in a week. 

“I can’t fucking do this!” He screeches. “I’m done.” 

Pepper’s not sure why she goes into Jason’s office and just looks at the schedule. 

She calls his cell. 

“Jason, seriously, I told you to quit bothering me.” 

“It’s Pepper. Get your ass over here for your meeting, the board directors are about an inch away from reinstating Obadiah.” 

“And that would be a bad thing...why?” 

“You want your stock points to drop because you’re proving that you can’t be trusted to run a company?” 

“I’ll be there.” 

It’s the fastest time that Tony makes it into the office, by the way. Pepper’s only slightly proud. 

- 

She’s terrified when he offers her a position as a personal assistant. She’ll be in the limelight, people paying attention to her. 

She modifies her contracts: no one is allowed to access any sort of personal information. At all. It has to be locked in a vault, only key is one that she and Tony know about. 

“Anything I should know about?” 

“Um. No.” 

“Oh. Okay. As long as you aren’t secretly running any illegal thing out of one of the floors, then be my guest. But if you are, let me know. Petra in accounting--new hire, you wouldn’t know them--is secretly reselling wedding cakes. I think. Maybe the wedding cakes was a bad lie. Hell. But welcome aboard!” 

Wrangling Tony is a lot like dealing with a goldfish. He’s a genius; she sees that when she walks into his house and sees about seven different projects lying around, and at least two papers that have notes about redoing a filtration system for drinking water. 

He is also incredibly stupid. 

“You have fifteen coffee cups out.” 

“Impossible, I don’t own that many!” 

“Aw, did you not take counting classes in preschool?” 

Tony likes her. A lot. She’s got a bite of wit, no-bullshit when it comes to business, and never misses a beat. She also has a killer sense of style, and is the one who makes sure he’s not wearing a weird mixture of jeans and a sport coat. 

“No.” 

“Come on, it’s not like fashion actually matters that much. Well, not to me.” 

“It should. You should be the most creatively dressed male out there, and you’re not. A black suit? God, that’s...that’s sad. No, I ordered you a blue silk suit. Embroidered with flowers all over, matching shoes with inverted colors. Come on. In you go.” 

“Ugh.” 

(His outfit is a smashing success, by the way. They ask who his stylist is, and he just says “Oh, my personal assistant said she would bury me in my garden if I wore a black suit. I would’ve dug it myself, looking on this now.”) 

- 

She does not tell him for a long time. At all. Because people are...weird about it. Weird questions, weird statements, and compliments so backhanded she doesn’t like to call them compliments. 

But at some point, she needs to tell him. Or she wants to. She wants to, she doesn’t have to. Yeah. 

Okay. So she’s in love with him. A tiny bit. 

- 

He makes her coffee. Every morning. Creamer goes into the mug first, then coffee. That’s the only way she takes it. 

He compliments her a lot, and she knows that this shouldn’t be a reason that love qualifies but it’s nice to hear. He also bought her a very expensive pair of shoes. 

Pepper honestly does want to tell him. She also does not want to lose her job, however. So she needs to gauge the situation. Maybe talk to some of her girlfriends, see what’s up. 

- 

Well then her boss goes missing for months and comes back and obviously you can’t tell someone you’re in love with them after they come back with an electromagnetic device in their chest. That’s just crazy. 

He came back...different. New circumstances, new outlook on life. She relates a tiny little bit. 

She buys herself a beautiful blue dress. He gives her his credit card, tells her to buy herself something nice, and goddammit she’s never been one to really disobey her boss. (Just bend some rules. Or create new ones that negate the old ones.) 

She curls her hair and only curses eight times, which is actually pretty good. Her usual amount of cursing per-curling-session is about eighty-two. 

He looks at her like she’s an angel, and she thinks...yeah. Okay. She’ll tell him that she’s in love with him. 

- 

Well then his uncle decides to attempt to kill him. God, what a mood killer. She hates this. 

- 

They’re laying down in his house on the patio, and he’s sipping on a smoothie that she’s honestly sure is 100% gross, and he turns to her. 

“Would you ever want to go on a date with me?” 

Pepper blinks. 

“Yes,” she says without skipping a beat. “But we need to have a discussion before I dedicate myself to this cause.” 

“What am I, a Salvation Army donation bin?” 

“Maybe.” 

“Then dinner-and-discussion tonight. Not a date. Just...talking.” 

- 

She’s nervous. She’s put her hair up so that she won’t run her fingers through it, but now she’s just fidgeting with her necklace and bracelet. 

Tony looks nice. He’s in a casual graphic tee and old jeans that are older than she actually knew they could hold together. She is in old shorts and a tank top and yeah it’s casual but it’s also nice and wow she’s really over-thought this. 

“So, what are your concerns?” Tony says. Getting to the point straight-away, that’s always his move. Pepper gulps. 

“You mind if I get water?” 

“Not at all.” 

She sips on water. 

“My concern is that I’m transgender and you need to know that before we pursue anything.” 

Tony blinks. 

“Um. Okay. Was not expecting that right out. I was more thinking you would have a problem with my new armor and Rhodey and I being immature when he visits and also how much time I spend on inventing.” 

“Well yeah, those too. But I deal with those all the time. But I’m also concerned about you pissing off the government and them sending secret agents to kill us.” 

Jarvis cuts in smoothly. 

“I am afraid, Miss Potts, that they wouldn’t make it two hundred feet of this current residence. Would you like me to update security protocols at other residences around the globe?” 

“You can do that?” Pepper asks. 

“Yes, Miss Potts.” 

“Please do update, thank you.” 

Tony grins, looking at her. The same way. Which is kind of exhilarating, all things considered. 

“You amaze me. J, remind me that if Pep and I break up, I need to build a bunker that could withstand a nuclear war.” 

“I will not remind you of that, as I’m sure it will be on you,” Jarvis remarks. 

Pepper snorts. 

“I wasn’t aware that I was going to turn my AI against myself,” Tony sighs. “Such is life.” 

Pepper grins. He squeezes her hand. 

“You want to celebrate this with wine? I’m sure tomorrow you’ll have me signing so many forms for workplace relationships that I’ll cry by two p.m.” 

“Make that one p.m., and you’ll be fine you big baby,” Pepper teases. 

Tony blows her a kiss as he gets up from the couch. 

“Thank you. For telling me. I know that that’s hard to tell people. Discuss more of it later, or now?” 

“Mm, later. It’s late at night, I’m tired.” 

“Gotcha. You want red or white tonight?” 

“...Red.” 

Tony grins, getting out the wine glasses. He pours carefully and expertly, and raises his. They clink their glasses together. 

“Cheers to more success. For the both of us.” 

Pepper grins softly. 

“For success.” 

[girlpornparadise]

Good Morning

This was supposed to be a quick drabble, but I got carried away. (~1500 words)

Rodrigo Morales/f!reader (Southland) no I don't expect you to have any idea who that is, so just know it's Maurice Compte playing a cop and as per usual much younger than he actually is.

It's inspired by this gifset:

You wake up next to him, while he's caressing your side. You lean into his chest. 

"Good Morning." he whispers.

It is in fact a very good morning because the previous night had been so passionate and your sleep had been deep and satisfying.

"Good morning." You rub your eyes.

He plants a kiss on your forehead.

You raise your head up a bit and gaze at each other for a few moments.

"How'd you sleep?" He asks softly.

You smile widely, beaming at him. Without meaning to, you bite your bottom lip.

He chuckles in a soft whisper.

"What time is it?" You ask, breaking the glow you were both basking in.

He leans over to the bedside table and checks his phone. "7:30"

You sigh. "I'm teaching an online class at 9. I should probably get up. When do you have to be at work?" 

"I pulled the night shift, so not until 7pm."

You sigh again. All you want to do is lay here and feel his warmth.

You rub your hand across his chest. He decides to playfully roll you on your back and kiss you deeply. You're taken in and return his kiss with the same enthusiasm.

After a moment, you push him away and he lies back down, amused.

"I have to get to work." You whine with a smile.

"Must you?" His deep brown eyes playfully pleading.

You melt a little and briefly imagine spending the whole day in bed together. It's too much, and you make a decision.

"Okay, how about today I cancel my morning class due to technical difficulties."

He chuckles. "Can you do that?"

"Well, I'm technically still in bed, and I'm having difficulties leaving because this incredibly sexy man keeps distracting me." You muse.

This time he fully laughs. He pulls you in and kisses you again.

"Okay, okay. Let me send a quick email about my broken computer."

You pick up your cellphone and leaning on your right elbow begin typing the message. He starts kissing your neck and a shiver of delight works its way down your body.

It takes much longer than expected to type the short email, as you sigh and roll into and away from his lips.

When you finish, you put the phone down and a moan escapes you as his hands find your waist and he presses a bruising kiss into your neck.

You roll back towards him. "Done. I don't have another class until the evening." 

His lips curve up into a hungry smile and he looks ready to devour you.

"Then you're all mine for the rest of the day." 

Before you can respond, his hand is on the back of your neck, pulling you into an even more intense kiss than before. You reciprocate his hunger, stroking his tongue with yours.

Your hand finds his neck, and you shift your bodies towards each other, pressing yourself against his warm skin, feeling the ache between your legs as you try to maximize your contact. His lips migrate to your jaw and you gasp sharply. His growing cock twitches against your leg and you feel yourself glow between your thighs. You roll your hips to grind against him and he grunts into your chin.

He rolls onto his back, gripping you firmly around the waist with his free hand, and pulls you on top of him. He's solid beneath your weight and you feel the delicious firmness of his muscular body offer its resistance.

You break the kiss and plant your hands firmly into the mattress next to his ears and your knees next to his hips. He licks his lips, staring into your eyes with anticipation.

As you position yourself. You leave a slick trail against his thigh. He can feel your wetness and pulls both of his lips inwards between his teeth as his eyes go wide.

You lean forward to align yourself with his length, and he thrusts his hips upwards. He slides easily into your dripping entrance and you cry out as he fills you. You hear his groan but don't see him form it as you throw your head back in pure pleasure.

He rocks his hips slowly and you shift to your elbows so you can kiss his open mouth. You drag your fingers through his hair and feel his mustache brush above your lip. His kiss is strong and commanding and demands your tongue stroke his. 

As his hips rock faster, you are panting too hard to keep contact with his mouth. You raise yourself again into your hands and watch his expression. Your face is contorted into a moan, all pleading eyes and lowered chin. It's unabashedly desperate, but you don't care. He's taking you apart inch by inch and thrust by forceful thrust now. His own face reflects your need for each other's bodies in this intensely passionate moment.

He grabs your hips, squeezing hard as his thrusts quicken. You throw your body backwards with a cry so you are fully riding him, your hands grabbing your own hair as you pull your own face towards the ceiling, crying out to God for the pleasure you are about to receive.

You hear him groan as his grip tightens. Your hips are synchronously raising and lowering at a frenzied pace and your pleasured prayer tumbles from your lips over and over, "oh god, oh god…"

You toss your head back with abandon as the orgasm floods your body, radiating from the last spot his cock pressed into you. As the shaking subsides, you fall on top of him, burying your face in his neck, panting with exhaustion. The thrusts haven't stopped, and he wraps his hands around your back and pulls you against him. The pace is punishing, but then it's interrupted by a few jerking thrusts and a loud cry right next to your ear. He empties himself into you and both of your bodies tremble from the effort. He gasps as you dismount him, feeling his warm cum sliding out of you.

You lie down next to him. As your bodies stop heaving you turn to face one another. He presses a soft kiss to your lips and you both smile. You run your hand gently along his chin, feeling his stubble and swiping your thumb across his lips. He takes your hand in his and presses his lips to your palm. 

"How about breakfast?" He says as he rolls off the bed, retrieving his grey plaid boxers and pulling them on.

"That sounds perfect." You beam at him.

He pads to the bathroom and you lay back staring at the ceiling with an endless grin on your face. He returns shortly, winks at you, and leaves for the kitchen. 

You get up and also go to the bathroom. You toss your hair up in a hair tie from your bag and use his shower to rinse yourself off. When you return to the bedroom you find his shirt on the floor and put it on, followed by your panties. The shirt feels soft against your skin, and makes you tingle when it grazes your nipples. You pad out to the kitchen.

"Already wearing my shirts?" He says looking up from the stove.

"I hope that's okay." You say coyly.

"You look perfect."

"I guess it's cliche for a reason." You muse pulling up the collar and inhaling his scent.

He smiles and turns back to the stove to flip the pancake he is currently working on.

You walk up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist and lean your chin on his shoulder.

"Banana?" You ask softly, your mouth next to his ear.

"Of course." 

"I can think of some better uses for your banana." You whisper in his ear with a smile. He laughs and you bask in the melodic sound.

"Besides, breakfast isn't what I'm really hungry for." You say as you start to nibble on his earlobe.

"You're insatiable." He says turning around to kiss your lips. He turns back to the stove quickly to take the pan with the half cooked pancake off the burner and turn off the heat. Turning back he grabs your waist and pulls you against him. He leans in to kiss you again, but you pull away. Grabbing him by the hand, you lead him back into the bedroom, you both practically leaping for the bed.

[proudgodot]

Gratitude

I was not initially planning to post about this, given that my unfortunate tendency to over-share has caused me quite a bit of grief in the past, but the truth is that I simply couldn’t resist this time. Typically when I am overcome by an uncontrollable desire to post it is because I am desperately in need of attention or validation, so much so that I can’t actually remember a time when I posted because I was genuinely eager to share something. It was always out of some perverse and misplaced sense of obligation, but it finally feels as if that burden is lifted. While I was writing this post, it was because I felt a genuine…. pride over something I had accomplished, something I genuinely wanted to share with the world. When I chose the name of this blog I didn’t earnestly expect that I would ever feel anything other than shame about myself… it seemed more an ideal than an actual plausible prediction. I’m just so relieved my wish came true.

Anyway, I suppose that is quite enough navel-gazing for the time being… I can only imagine my followers have probably had enough of that to last a long and fulfilling lifetime. I reckon it’s time to move on to the actual story.

As most of you well know, following the dramatic events of the Kristahlia drama, I suddenly found myself with the new responsibility of parenthood. There are certainly aspects of my new lifestyle that have been difficult to adjust to… principle of which is that I am supposed to serve as a sort of role model for these developing and damaged boys. I have never been particularly aspirational, in fact you would be hard-pressed to find someone as underperforming as me. Although I was prone to overcompensating for such things, always desperately trying to prove that I was capable of as much as the bare minimum, looking back I see that I grew too comfortable with those low expectations. When it registered that as a caretaker I would suddenly have to perform a sort of excellence, not for the sake of my fragile ego but for the betterment of these children… I was immediately overcome by a painful inadequacy. However, as our first week together progressed, I came to realize that in certain regards all of us were personally inadequate, and it was for that very reason we had taken on this responsibility together. Although I certainly had my short-comings, that wasn’t something unique to me, and over time we all began to coordinate better and help manage each other’s weaknesses. I was somewhat surprised to learn this was not only true of the adults, but the children as well. The dynamic we developed as a family was rather symbiotic… I found that regardless of age we all had something to offer each other.

Regardless, I promised myself that I would do whatever it took to keep my found family as distant as possible from my most severe personal issues. My past was something I felt I had to resolve independently, no matter how tempting it was to once again depend on the people in my life to solve my problems in my stead. That is why when I made the decision to start looking into Anton’s whereabouts, I never spoke a word about it to my housemates.

Facebook made finding his account incredibly easy, distressingly so in fact. I became acutely aware of the possibility that he might have been recommended my account numerous times over the years and had consciously chosen not to send me a friend request, which although completely understandable still hurt immensely to imagine. Perhaps my hopelessly romantic dream to reconnect with the man was unrequited, and would be rejected with extreme prejudice if vocalized. Eventually, however, I managed to muster up the courage to actually inspect his profile. I discovered that after our quarrel six years ago and his subsequent transferral Anton had moved back to his hometown in Ann Arbor to complete his degree in art and design. Since graduating, he had been working as a freelance artist and animator… he often posted about how proud of his projects he was, and it was reassuring to see his enthusiasm had not diminished in the slightest over the years. One detail about his profile that immediately jumped out at me was his relationship status, which was currently set to single. Despite myself, I immediately felt a small flicker of hope ignite within my quickened heart. Upon further investigation, it appeared he’d been involved in several relationships over the years that had ultimately ended in failure, although the circumstances were unclear. I only hoped he hadn’t made a habit of dating unappreciative losers…

I managed to quell my anxiety briefly and force myself to send him a friend request, which almost immediately filled me with a sense of mounting dread. My anticipation wasn’t even allowed much time to simmer, because mere minutes after I sent the message I was notified that it had been accepted. Instinctively, I slammed my laptop shut and jumped out of my seat, forgetting that I was incapable of standing up so quickly without losing all feeling in my legs and face planting into the floor. I instantly regretted not taking Addy’s advice and getting that checked by a doctor, because soon enough the entire family was in my room gathered around my body and asking questions with varying degrees of concern and amusement. Although I had wanted to keep my activity a secret, at that moment I was swept away in the drama, and so I began to mindlessly rant about the situation.

I don’t know what I was expecting, but soon enough there were six pairs of hands all frantically scrambling for control of my keyboard. While I laid incapacitated on the floor, my friends had taken it upon themselves to respond to Anton’s messages, each expressing their own thoughts from my account in randomly alternating orders depending on who had managed to prevail in the wrestling. It seemed that Iara maintained the upper hand most of the fight, although it was admittedly difficult to tell over the frenzy at times considering my limited view from the floor.

Eventually, the chaos subsided and everyone turned to look at me with beaming smiles on their faces, some more devious than others. I immediately began to worry that they had sabotaged me somehow, be it in light-hearted jest or in an earnest act of betrayal, and so I asked them nervously what exactly they had done. For a moment it seemed they were trying to contain their excitement, but it didn’t take long for them to erupted into an uproarious celebration, complete with victorious chants that Anton was coming to meet us in person this evening!

I didn’t know how to react. All at once a tempest of conflicting emotions completely overpowered me… and I mean that quite literally. I knocked out cold, and when I finally woke up I discovered that not only had Kyler been trying to shock me awake by applying Takis to my tongue, but that the situation had not miraculously resolved itself. Although everyone else had mostly settled down, my mind was whirling a mile a minute with all of the things I had to do to prepare. I had a whole bucket list I needed to accomplish before I was comfortable standing in front of Anton again… and as much as I hated to admit it, I couldn’t possibly get everything done myself over such a brief time. To my surprise, I didn’t even have a chance to put my reservations aside before they had already agreed to help me based off of my panicked listing of errands alone. Despite my reluctance to involve my new friends in the more turbulent aspects of personal life, it seemed they were actually eager to get involved themselves… I discovered that my problems were not an inconvenience to them, but rather something they were excited to help me work through.

The first obstacle I had to overcome was also the hardest… that being that I had never properly apologized to Gabriella and Lana for my dishonest and frankly abusive treatment. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t have the words to express my remorse or that I hadn’t processed my guilt, but that Gabriella’s parting words to me specifically informed me not to contact her and I didn’t want to once again disrespect her wishes. However, after some words of encouragement from the family, I managed to write a relatively concise three thousand word email taking responsibility for my past actions and wishing the couple well. As I was writing this post, I actually received a response from the two telling me they appreciated my apology and were glad to see I had grown into a more mature person. Apparently they have just finished settling into their cottage and are now doing better than ever. Lana even expressed an interest in meeting Addy and Iara in particular sometime… I suppose it’s a sapphic thing. I’m just glad that they’re finally living the happy life they deserve without being held back by backwards men.

My email took longer to type then I had expected, and although I certainly can not regret pouring my heart into the message given its importance, it did mean that we had to pick up the pace with the rest of the bucket list. Kyler took this quite literally, speeding at what must have been 100 miles per hour towards the mall despite nearly giving me a heart attack and my insistence that he not set such a bad example for Chris and Klav. We actually ended up getting pulled over, but luckily Iara managed to scare the officer away with her signature scowl. The next few hours were a frantic rush of errands, all focused on helping me actually express myself without the burden of repression. There were moments when it was a struggle, such as when I nearly hyperventilated in Claire’s before they pierced my ears, but ultimately I am immensely satisfied with the results. The most fulfilling moment was finally getting the tips of my hair bleached white to match my new profile picture. Chris actually got his hair dyed alongside me, changing his style from pale blond to black and white to reflect his new kin. It was incredibly rewarding to accomplish this alongside him… I had never been the subject of anything but disappointment from my parents, so it was an incredible feeling to be able to experience that absent parental pride for myself, even if it was with a different perspective.  

By the time Anton was forecasted to arrive, my appearance had been upgraded to better reflect my current sense of self… all that was left was for me to get in the right mindset. Luckily, my family was perfectly eager to act as my own personal “hype beasts,” as Kyler put it. They offered excellent emotional support in the half-hour we sat in the den patiently awaiting his arrival, especially Addy, who really took my mind off things by offering to play me in a game of chess. I lost quite handedly, but for once I don’t have it in me to be a spoilsport. When we heard that fateful knock at the door, they all immediately ran into the nearest closest and shut themselves inside to give us some space, but not before giving me a final set of encouraging thumbs up. I hesitated for a moment, questioning once again whether I was really ready to take such a big step in my life. My hand paused, hovering over the door knob uncertainly… until I heard the faint sounds of Steely Dan’s Come on Eileen coming from inside the closet, accompanied by the muffled sound of Klav’s giggle. Reignited by the familiar sounds of my favorite musicians, I swung the door open with a new and uncharacteristic conviction.

And there he was… I was immediately captivated by just how strong his presence was. My memories hadn’t done him justice… it really was like I was in the presence of an angel. I was comforted by certain familiar aspects of his appearance, such as his golden brown eyes that glistened like stars, his long curly hair with its comforting strawberry aroma, and his signature checkered scarf that he had been consistently wearing for almost decade now… but what really excited me were those new features. Normally I am turned off by change, but I was positively breathless as soon as my eyes wandered to the golden butterfly tattoo on his exposed shoulder. I felt as if I was going to faint for a second time in one day. 

I couldn’t find the words to express the depths of my emotion no matter how hard I searched my impassioned soul... there were no words strong enough. Instead I just cried, and wordlessly he accepted me into his arms… just like he had on that life-changing night all those years ago. I finally told him everything I had so obstinately refused to say during college… that I was gay, that I was in love with him, and that I was sorry. Although I was openly weeping, I don’t think I’ve ever felt more relieved in my life.

Eventually, he managed to pacify me… and so I was able to explain to him the entire story of the Kristahlia drama. It was difficult to explain that I had managed to go from discoursing with these teenage kinnies to adopting them, but he was as understanding as he ever was. He was so excited to meet my family that he even brought his cat Apple all the way from Michigan just to introduce her to them. I don’t think I have ever mentioned this publicly, but when Krissy died I had to take her dog Diogenes in myself, and I was surprised to find that the two animals got along perfectly. It really did feel like the entire house was accepting him... it was as if this was meant to be.

Since Anton had gone to all the trouble of making the ten hour drive to Iowa, he suggested that we might as well all hang out together in Cedar Rapids over the weekend. I suppose it’s a date... I must say that I am looking forward to it, as are the others. I know I didn’t deserve to be accepted by him again just because I spent a few hours shedding tears and profusely apologizing, but for once I don’t feel guilty that I have received something I don’t deserve. I just feel... an overwhelming gratitude for the opportunity.

I am certainly still inexperienced at this whole family business and have accepted that I will inevitably make some mistakes in the future, but I don’t think I’ve done too poorly for a first week, if I do say so myself. I am truly grateful to all the people in my life who have supported me through my journey, who have taught me that it is possible to rely on others without being a parasite and to be relied on without shouldering the entire burden. 

To my partners, my friends, my children, and my love... from the bottom of my heart, thank you. 

[ruelpsen]

Ruelpsen Writes #3: Lunch Troubles

… Because if I’m going to keep doing this, I suppose I need a name and a tag (#ruelpsen writes) for my writing.

A, while making lunch for their partner B, accidentally slips in real cheese- something B’s stomach is intolerant to. B doesn’t realize this until it’s too late, which happens to be during the middle of their workday, of course. Not too nsfw this time, but there’s some stuffing and there might be some eprocto stuff in there (it’s not something I’m super into as I am with burps, but enough people on here like it well enough that I figured I could try my hand at writing it).

Enjoy!

B looked up at the clock on the wall of their cubicle again. It was now 1:37 and well past their normal lunchtime. But on the bright side, they’d finally put in that last push to complete the summary they’d been writing. With a few final keystrokes, they wrapped up the big project they’d spent the last two weeks working on. B was used to putting in long hours of writing and revising like this, and very well knew they’d work up an appetite that day. They had told their partner, A, the previous evening that they’d be finishing their big project today- so of course A packed them a big lunch to get them through the day, which included some sweet treats for B to eat in celebration of being done.

B sighed in relief upon emailing their boss the final draft. As soon as they’d done so, they got up from their desk and practically raced to the communal fridge to get their lunch. They smiled upon opening it and seeing that it was still all there- which was a relief considering A had packed them so much that they needed two bags to hold it all! They grabbed both and swiftly headed back to their desk, stopping briefly on their way to grab themself a new mug of coffee.

Once back at their desk, B tore into the first bag. A had packed B some of their favorite snack cakes… and given the circumstances, B decided to make it a dessert first day. They polished off the cakes (all six of them!) in a couple minutes, chasing them with a hearty swig of coffee. They wiped their lips with the back of their hand before tilting their head back and burping loudly. B could hear someone in an adjacent cubicle make a small noise of disgust, but it didn’t bother them whatsoever- rather, they patted their gut and brought up a smaller afterburp in response before turning their attention back to their lunch. There were still more treats in the first bag, but they opted to save those to serve as a real dessert. They opened the second bag and found a pair of reuben sandwiches (their favorite), made with a cheese substitute instead of real cheese due to B’s mild lactose intolerance. That much real cheese wouldn’t make them sick, but it would make them unpleasantly gassy. And that’s not something they needed in the middle of their workday…

B wolfed down the first half of one sandwich in almost a flash. Damn, did it taste good. They’d throw glances over to the entry of their cubicle to make sure no one was watching as they rubbed their stomach blissfully as they ate. Sure, everyone around them was used to their piggish sounds by now, but nobody needed to actually see just how much B was savoring the act of eating. Thankfully, today wasn’t too busy a day and they could rub their gut to their stomach’s content. And damn, did that feel good. So good that B felt ready to-

“uuuuurrrrrOOOOOORRRRRP!”

B was caught off guard by an unexpectedly loud, forceful belch. Nevertheless, they couldn’t help but sigh from how good that made them feel. Anyway, they felt ready to finish off that first sandwich. The sandwiches were both big, but B still had plenty of room- and that satisfying burp freed up yet more space. They devoured the second half before taking another short break to rub, pat, and see how much more gas they could expel before moving on to the second sandwich. Their stomach grumbled deeply as they felt a pocket of air rise, followed by another belch, this one longer than the first but much deeper. Fuck, did that feel good to get out, especially since B’s stomach was starting to feel a little… off. They didn’t feel sick, per se, but their stomach was definitely riled up by something. It churned and growled loudly, causing B to stop a moment just to listen. Had the snack cakes or sandwich upset it a little? B couldn’t be sure given how quickly they were eating. And it wasn’t too concerning, they thought. Besides, they still had another sandwich left to enjoy- they could enjoy that and then deal with the consequences of whatever their stomach was doing, especially since they weren’t so pressed for time with their work as they had been before.

Without further ado, B began to work at the second sandwich. They ate their way through it more slowly than they had the first, given that they were starting to feel pretty full (and their overactive stomach wasn’t helping with that). They’d stop every few bites for more stomach rubs, bringing up some pretty hefty burps each time. The groans of annoyance from the cubicles around them did nothing to dissuade them from this. B would just sigh contently and return to eating, now savoring every bite.

And that’s when they realized something was off. Something about the sandwich didn’t taste quite right… and they’d realized that with only a couple bites to go. They ate those last two up without thinking before it dawned on them what was wrong. It tasted like there was real cheese on them. Had A made some sort of mistake? Was B wrong? They had no idea- but three hours to deal with their irritated gut regardless.

B told themself they’d be fine and decided to go for the last dessert- a small stack of cookies A had lovingly baked for them. They ate those slowly, taking the time to enjoy how big each new bite was making their gut feel. They were still gone in a matter of minutes, prompting B to pat their stomach upon completion of their meal. Their stomach grumbled loudly again before-

“BUUUUUUUUUURRRR-urrrrrr-ORRRRRRRRP!!!”

“God, you’re disgusting,” a cubicle neighbor spat loudly enough for B to hear. B did feel slightly embarrassed this time. Normally they’d allot themself one good burp at lunch as to not be too gross, but today they just kept coming. They could already feel another trying to work its way up. B clenched their mouth shut and tried to keep it in. In response, they let out a loud, long fart- and promptly belched regardless of their efforts to suppress it. Yeah, something was definitely off about their lunch.

B still had three more hours before they were to head home. They weighed their options- they could either leave early and not get paid or try to tough it out, maybe taking some time in the bathroom to let some of the gas out. They opted for the latter, figuring that they’d be okay enough to make it through the rest of their workday (especially if they were able to relieve themself somewhat).

With that decided, B got back to work on a smaller project. It was getting hard to focus given how noisy and uneasy their stomach was, so they figured it was time to head to the bathroom to try and let some of the gas out. As they stood up, one of their coworkers appeared.

“Hey, B, here’s what our boss told me to bring you now that you’re done with-”

“bwooo-URRRRP!”

Thanks to B’s gut shifting as they stood, they let out a loud, short belch, damn close to being right in their coworker’s face. B clasped their hands over their mouth in sheepish embarrassment as their coworker sneered in disgust.

“I am so, so sorry,” B apologized profusely. “I’ll just, uh…” they mumbled, blushing, grabbing the small stack of papers their coworker had brought them. “I’ll take care of this. So sorry.”

“Sure you are,” their coworker muttered before leaving. B would never try to be that rude to someone, but today they just couldn’t hold back. They tossed the papers onto their desk before making a beeline to the restroom, cautious to not jostle their stomach too much in order to prevent such an encounter again. They thankfully made it there without incident, heading straight to a stall so they could belch and fart in peace.

B loosened their belt slightly before beginning to rub their belly. Man, were they stuffed! B started belching almost immediately, their loud, bassy burps echoing off the walls. Every so often they’d let out loud farts, some of them pretty foul-smelling. B could now tell that yes, it must have been real cheese on those sandwiches, for nothing else they ate could have made their farts that bad. They belched and farted for quite some time, enjoying how good that made their aching midsection feel. But as enjoyable as it was, their belly still ached and it felt like they were no less gassy than they did when they entered. Maybe they should have just gone home.

B checked their watch again. They’d been in there for quite some time now, and still had two more hours of work ahead of them. Going home sounded good, but there were still things that needed to get done. B decided to head back to their desk and see how things progressed. Right as they were about to exit the stall they occupied, another coworker entered the restroom- or was about to, but gagged at the stench and took a moment to decide if they really needed to go that badly. At that same moment, B could feel another pocket of pressure begin to rise.

“hic-urrrrRRRRRAAAAAAAP!”

“Damn,” the coworker exclaimed before leaving.

B spent a few more minutes working out yet more gas. They still didn’t feel any better. They finally headed back to their desk, groaning as they sat back down before releasing a short fart. They sighed and opened up other projects on their computer and spread out some papers on their desk so it would at least look like they were doing something.

As time passed, they did their best (to little avail) to suppress their gas. They were able to bring up their burps more quietly than before, but it was still embarrassing that they simply couldn’t stop. They knew their coworkers were disgusted, even though they couldn’t help but be that gassy.

Eventually, B’s boss appeared at their desk. B gulped anxiously.

“Great work on that report,” their boss said. “Since it’s 4 o’clock on a Friday and you’ve done so much this week, why don’t you head home early. You’ll still get paid for this next hour, so feel free to head out when you’d like.”

“Thank you so much,” B said, wincing slightly as they held back a burp.

“You feeling alright?” their boss asked.

“Nouuurrrrp! Ugh… no, not really,” B answered. “I’d be happy to head right home. Thanks.”

“Anytime. See you Monday.”

With that, their boss left, and B instantly began to pack up their things. Once back on their feet, they made a dash to the elevator, letting out another massive belch as soon as the doors shut, following it up with a particularly rancid fart. They couldn’t help but feel sorry for whatever poor soul was going to be in there next.

B kept burping and farting as they drove home. The ache in their gut was only getting worse. B wanted to be mad at A when they got home, but they knew not to be- the cheese had probably been a mistake, after all. B reached their house without incident and headed right in to find A in the kitchen, making themself a grilled cheese. A didn’t look up until they heard B belch deeply.

“Well hi,” A said, looking up at B. “Oh, darling, you look miserable. I’m so sorry.”

“What the hell did you do to my lunch?” B asked.

“I mixed up where I’d put your fake cheese after dinner last night,” A explained. “I’d put it where I normally put my cheese and put my cheese in its place. I made your lunch afterward with the wrong stuff and didn’t realize it until I was making myself a sandwich just now. I’m so, so sorry.”

“I’m just glad I was able to come home early,” B said before belching again. “Man, am I a stuffed, gassy mess.”

“Let’s sit on the couch and I can help you with that,” A said. B sat down on the couch (forcing up another burp, of course) as A fetched some stomach-soothing medication before joining B. B took some before sitting down on A’s lap, sighing contently as A began to rub their belly. B continued to belch for A and fart in their lap for quite some time- but eventually, they finally managed to feel better and fell right asleep, feeling ever so full of both food and love.

[professorspork]

i know I always say this, but, last night REALLY WAS the BUSIEST OF DAYS in the Reaper War

before I get into yesterday’s gameplay, I realized I forgot to react to the fact that Jacob got Brynn pregnant, which -- again, I suppose that wraps up everything about his backstory in a nice little bow, lad of the bad dad gets to be good dad, but like... it still gives like they gave his character incredibly short shrift. so. humbug to that.

but I have bigger fish to fry (ha ha, literally, see what I did there?) because ALL OF THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, AND ALL OF THIS WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. I rescued Ann Bryson, and learned that -- shocker -- she had a bad relationship with her dad. I uh may have condoned her getting a bit of a nasty nose bleed in order to track the Leviathan to Despoina, where as ever I got to read a bunch of people’s weirdly specific sad diaries. my jump into the depths was very cool and scary (does no one get the bends in the future???) and I enjoyed my The First-style body swapping conversation with the Leviathan in which I tried to prove I’m ~special and this time is ~different. on the one hand, I don’t know why I expected the origin of the Reapers to be anything other than yet another story of AI gone wrong, but this whole cinematic parallels thing is starting to edge out of “everything matches up and is of a piece” territory and into the murkier waters of “we kind of only had one idea, actually.” to reveal that the Reapers’ plan is just stray AI code to ‘preserve life’ is at once very chilling and a bit of a let down; when I think back to when I talked to Sovereign for the first time and I had my initial “GOD IS A MACHINE THAT WANTS TO KILL US” freak out, I was in fact very on board for an evil plan too broad and complex for a human mind to fathom. for it to be this feels kind of predictable and pedestrian.

that said, watching the Leviathan take down a huge-ass Reaper capital ship with its pulse signal was very satisfying.

oh no this is going to get very long, now that you’ve had this fun teaser i’m gonna put the rest under a cut

then we kicked it on over to Thessia and I highkey traumatized my girlfriend. I feel like I should have seen the reveal that the asari were more advanced because they were hoarding prothean tech coming, but I didn’t. hearing and seeing all the asari commandos helping me get wiped out was a real gut punch, but didn’t hold a candle to my frustration at the confrontation with Kai Leng. I’m not mad that the game wouldn’t let me beat him, per se (though I still think it’s ridiculous that I’ve taken down a Reaper by myself and I’m supposed to be afraid of a dude with a knife), but I am pissed that it all happened with combat cut scene magic. this game has given me difficult combat before! if, in fighting Kai Leng, I’d genuinely felt outmatched, I think I would have tolerated it better -- or if the combat had been me fighting the Harvesters and then Kai Leng sneaked around me because that’s what he does, he sneaks. but to have such a relatively easy combat sequence with him that felt very much like winning just to have it snatched away from me... maddening. WHY CAN’T I BEAT THIS ONE GUY AND HIS KNIFE? I don’t want to be all “Kai Leng is a Mary Sue” but like... he got to murder Thane and then beat me in overtime, and his entire vibe is I exist to sell action figures even though that’s not, as far as I know, any part of Mass Effect’s profit model. so it’s just frustrating. and for them to then rub salt in the wound and have him EMAIL ME to be like “lol snowflake r u triggered” was just. MY PATIENCE IS THIN, ME3. DON’T PUSH ME.

seeing Shepard have to admit to failure was a gutting scene, though, and a necessary one. and watching Liara fight with Javik was highkey satisfying, too. 

so anyway, because i was BIG MAD at Cerberus I tracked them first to that one N7 communications mission-- 

(Sample dialogue: Helen: Why aren’t you using cover? You’re going to die! Use cover! Me, jumping out of cover and rushing Cerberus goons trying to melee them to death: BECAUSE I’M MAD)

-- and then to Sanctuary, and HOO BOY WAS THAT A LOT OR WHAT. from the second I heard Oriana’s voice I had a pretty good idea of what was going on here, but seeing in in practice was still creepy af. and like. i’m just gonna go out on a limb and say INDOCTRINATION BAD. I AM NOT A FAN. shout out to that one capitalist volus on the Citadel who was like “lol sanctuary is a scam don’t waste your money” i guess

additionally, last night was significant because I picked not one but TWO ENTIRE renegade convince options, because I saw no reason to be nice to terrorist daddy the illusive man or actual terrorist daddy Mr. Lawson. after I got through all that, Helen explained to me how difficult it apparently is to keep Miranda alive by the end of that confrontation, so I got to do some WHAT LIKE IT’S HARD? preening at how Nice Sheps Finish First sometimes. 

but as usual, the real highlight is getting to know my crew better and talking with them. I finally got some prime flirting in with Liara during Leviathan. it was VERY cute when she was like “man what’s with you rescuing damsels from dig sites? if you end up teaming up with her to save the world and bring down the shadow broker i’ll be very jealous. ... and concerned” and WEIRDLY CUTER when she was like “hey the only tentacled alien who gets to mess with your brain is ME” because Liara is like 115 by now considering how slowly i’m getting through these missions and she still does not know what romance is. 

[no but seriously, Liara does not know what romance is. half the time I’m still going WE’RE STILL DATING, RIGHT? every time she refuses to talk to me. and even after Thessia, when everyone was like “go talk to Liara, she needs you” and even JAVIK of all people was like “you’re dating Liara, right? it’s so obvious” our interactions did not feel particularly... romantic? it’s a tricky needle to thread, obviously, I’m not looking for sloppy makeouts right after millions of her people died, but it still reads as very odd to me. anyway.]

Javik’s story about how he once had a ship like the Normandy and a crew of friends like mine and they all ended up indoctrinated and he had to personally slit their throats went way harder than I ever expected it to. even just the IDEA of having to do that as my Shep upsets me. i’m legit enjoying getting to know Javik, even though i’m still GuessWhoJustGotYelledAt.jpg every time I leave his room. I HAD ENOUGH OF THAT FROM KREIA, JAVIK, YOU’LL NEVER PUSH ME AWAY.

I was surprised by how hard Tali took Miranda’s successful challenge of Mr. Lawson, though in hindsight it makes sense -- with the geth war still happening on top of everything else, I don’t think Tali ever did get the chance to process her anger at her dad being a war criminal and all. and her whole “emergency induction port” bit about the straw was cute as hell tbh. her friendship with Garrus over the comms continues to give me life. 

(in other quarian news, I AM SAD ABOUT KAL’REEGER.)

and jeff. JEFF. after Thessia i literally ran to the bridge and said aloud “Jeff, make me feel better” as I clicked interact with him, and then he made that dig about asari dancers, and i was like NO NOT LIKE THAT. (I mean, what Shep literally said was “now’s not the time for jokes” which is ironic considering she, unlike me, still calls him JOKER) but then he was all DAD ANDERSON SAID I’M SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH, I’M SORRY, I’M DOING MY BEST and like. what a fucked up little family we are. he feels guilty that I died saving him, still! apparently he asks EDI about my stress levels and they are BAD and he feels BAD! im crey. OH AND ALSO THE FACT THAT PTSD ASARI LAURA BAILEY WAS TALKING ABOUT HIS FAMILY ON TIPTREE AND I CAN NEVER TELL HIM BECAUSE THE GAME DOESN’T LET ME DO THAT???? V UPSETTING.

and then of course EDI had to TRIPLE DOWN on all these feelings i was already having by telling me about human resistance and selflessness on Earth and how she wants to turn off her self-preservation code because she’s not about that. I’M SUCH A TOASTER FUCKER HALP.

Garrus being all “well sometimes your best friend gives you a pep talk” speech was cute as hell, and I was strangely charmed when Kaidan was like YOU CAN TELL I’M EXTRA MAD BECAUSE MY VOICE HAS GOTTEN SO DEEP grumbling.

next up: shore leave, and then going after Cerberus will trigger act 3! i may one day finish mass effect after all!

[thefoundationproject]

Hello ! 17,25,26,34,35 Sorry if this is too many.

Hey hey!

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

I would repeatedly refresh like manic if I let myself.  That’s why I have a rule to post, do my edits and then either start working on another fic or go to bed.  Otherwise yeah, I’d probably be watching.  There’s nothing wrong with wanting validation, true, but my big fear is that I’ll use What People Like as a metric for What I Should Write, instead of writing what I want to write.  And that’s just not what I’m in this for, you know?  I’m writing stuff that makes me happy, and I have to make myself remember that the hits/kudos/comments anything gets are an amazing bonus but not the impetus.

25. Do you listen to music as you write? If possible, link your writing playlist.

Usually!  Sometimes certain fics I’ll have ambient noise instead (The Boba one comes to mind, I had an hour of the London Underground on repeat.  And the last chapter of Blankets was written listening to star port ambiance).  I don’t have a playlist per se: it’s usually a YouTube mix, but I typically have Twenty One Pilot’s ‘Vessel’ album or GooGoo Dolls ‘Gutterflower’ as the starting seed.  I actually listened to both of those albums so much during quarantine that I ended up buying them since I felt that I needed to support the artists for giving me so many hours of background music.

26. What’s your biggest distraction when writing?

.... AFK Arena.  I’m usually pretty good at closing Tumblr (though once or twice I had to block the page for an hour until I got into the swing of writing) and I’ll always exit out of Discord on my laptop.  But I keep obsessively checking on my loot accumulation of if anyone has dared battle me in the arena, etc etc etc.  I’ve actually just yesterday put myself on a ration for that: I get to play during a 1 hour window a day and if I miss that hour then that’s it, wait til tomorrow.

Stupid addictive clicky game...

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

More than I think I intended when I started out.  There’s silly little things like Dogma and his Sourdough (and the entire Discord server got to see me panic over the starter not being as bubbly as the pictures, that was fun...) but also things like... it turns out I just secretly want everyone to get along, get enough sleep and get as few or as many hugs as they need.  And eat good food, that’s important too.  There’s a lot of ugly stuff out there, and I feel like there just needed to be a second of breathing room where stuff just... wasn’t ugly for maybe three minutes.  

I don’t know how folks see me?  I still get a lot of questions about my Plan For Soft Wars, so I guess some still think of me as some sort of grand mastermind of fluff.  Truth is I’m just like everyone else: I have no idea what the heck I’m doing.  But as long as folks end up with naps, blankets and good food then I’m satisfied!

35. How much has writing fic changed your life?

A ton!  I’ve been very much neglecting creative outlets and just general slow down take a sec, take a breath time for a while now.  I’m much, much, much happier when I make time to write.  And that’s the other thing, I have to make time and I’m much more willing to do that now.  If I just let things go, free time will evaporate because there’s always one more tasker to handle, one more email to send, one more one more and they will build.  I’ve gotten better at saying ‘I’m done for the day’ and actually stopping.  Who’d have thought, right?

[brynnmck]

Tagged by @dame-lazarus, @pretty--thief, and @kiraziwrites, thank you! 

AO3 name: brynnmck

Fandoms: Currently just Jaime/Brienne, pretty much, though I do have a Birds of Prey Harley/Dinah fic I want to finish at some point. Previous fandoms I wrote more than one fic for: Dark Angel, BtVS (those two mostly lost to the wilds of ff.net), Alias, Firefly, Supernatural, Battlestar Galactica, due South and Canada six degrees, and a few different flavors of band-related fic (this is where I lose all of you who have strong anti-RPF feelings; if it makes you feel any better, RPF in GoT fandom is not in my plans!). And then I have one-offs for Friday Night Lights (kind of; it’s a not!fic SDW and I played around with over email one day), Castle, Newsies, SNL RPF, Hart of Dixie, The OC, X-Men movieverse, baseball RPF, and a tiny Star Wars (ANH) ficlet. That’s waaaaay more info than y’all needed, isn’t it? 😆 

Tropes: Friends-to-lovers, road trips, found/chosen family, partners

Number of fics: 90 on AO3. Which is an oddly round number! Only 4 for Jaime/Brienne, which is a little crazy to me because it feels like surely I’ve written WAY more, but I can only figure that’s because I beta a lot and also because Pilot Light was so long (by my standards), heh.

Fic I spent the most time on: Pilot Light, which was almost three times as long as my next-longest fic I’d ever written. It took about five months of steady work, I think? Not counting rewrites while I was posting it.

Fic I spent the least time on: Probably my little Star Wars ficlet. I used to be able to churn out a story in a day, though. I don’t know where that went! To be fair, those fics were generally significantly shorter, but still.

Longest Fic: Pilot Light

Shortest Fic: The aforementioned Star Wars ficlet, which I now really wish I had titled 😂

Most kudos: Overall my most kudosed/bookmarked fic on AO3 is my Newsies one, which honestly speaks to the dearth of good Newsies fic on that site as much as anything else (also this was where I discovered that sometimes the more kudos you get, the more kudos you get, since people sort by kudos and see yours first!). Most kudos for J/B is I settled in slowly to this house that you call home, which makes me happy because I super enjoyed writing that fic.

Most comment threads: Pilot Light. People who commented on multiple chapters of that: YOU ARE MY HEROES. (I mean obviously I love everyone who commented on that story or any other one, but multiple-chapter commenting is a lot of work and I appreciate it especially!)

Most bookmarks: I settled in slowly

Total word count: As of my last story, I just passed 500K, actually: 500,986. Though that is over 17 years, to be fair!

Favorite fic I wrote: Hmmmmm, for J/B, idk. Pilot Light is my most ambitious story in terms of the scope/plot (which I realize is not saying much relative to a lot of fic in this fandom, but I very often go more for emotional plotlines than external ones, and that one had both), so it was cool to prove to myself that I could actually finish it. I just wrote my first canon-based fic and getting to play around in that style was really fun. “I settled in slowly” let me satisfy all my snarky best-friends-y filth-with-feelings impulses. Idk! Me while writing, every time lately: “THIS IS TERRIBLE EVERY WORD IS A SLOG WHY DO I DO THIS MY BRAIN IS BROKEN.” Me, very sincerely, in the comments later: “I had so much fun writing this!” It’s like what they say about childbirth, y’all.

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: Usually by the time I post something I feel like it’s pretty much done (and even with longer things, I like to have them written before I post because I have a deathly fear of realizing I should go back and change something and not being able to). But I do want to do a little tag for “I settled in slowly,” based on a suggestion from the comments.

Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on: The aforementioned tag is going to involve Jaime and Brienne going out to dinner and him making her come while they’re sitting at the table, per one of the fantasies he mentions in the original story. There may also be bathroom sex afterward. Something short and porny feels attainable right now! I also just got a plot bunny the other day for a college theater AU where Jaime is starring as Orsino in Twelfth Night and Brienne is on the stage crew and he has to stay late after rehearsal one night and they start talking and Things Happen from there. Which will be a good excuse to dredge up some of my theater major experiences! I’ve also had this fic idea for a while where Brienne is a ghost, but that doesn’t feel like a good summer fic, so I’m back-burnering it for now.

I’m not tagging anyone for this one because I think it’s basically made the rounds but if you haven’t done it and you want to, please do!! I would love to see what you have to say!

[weasley-gal]

Goodbye, Supernatural!

* FINALE SPOILERS * FINALE SPOILERS * FINALE SPOILERS *

I have watched Supernatural from the beginning. Sometimes it has been truly great television: clever, funny, honest, and emotional. Other times – mostly when its creative team has taken too much cue from the loudest social media voices – it’s been less, but I’ve never not loved it.

The ending was hard to take. Small minded people will say, “It’s just a show,” but even “just a show” is never that. It’s people you invite into your home week in and week out. In the case of Supernatural, “just a show” became a bona fide community, #SPNFAMILY, a regular part of our lives for 15 years. The biggest and most important names regularly engaged with even the smallest, as mentioned, sometimes to their own detriment. Regardless, it’s awfully hard letting go of all that. Once new, original content dries up, fandoms may continue to limp along, but they’re never the same. This week we said goodbye to the biggest part of our community forever.

I am not a fan of finales that blow up their universes. I think many people want and expect it - hence the “final” bit of “finale” - but I prefer to think all my beloved characters are going on as they always have, just without me watching. I would have found Supernatural’s penultimate episode a much more satisfying finale than the actual finale, but I won’t complain about the way they chose to end it, simply because it’s the way *they* chose to end it.

When fans cried about Fred Weasley being killed off in the last Harry Potter book, J.K. Rowling answered, “It was always going to be Fred, though, wasn’t it?” Like, every moment of that character’s life, she knew exactly where he was heading. The writers of Supernatural are not, by far, as clever as J.K. Rowling, and I wouldn’t suggest there’s even a slim chance the finale represented the climax of a plan they had for Sam and Dean from day one. However, I told my sister six months ago, “They’re going to kill off Dean and give Sam the normal life he wanted in the beginning.” I knew it. I wanted to be wrong, but I knew it. Look back at those early episodes. That foundation was laid and was just waiting for someone to build this sad house upon it.

Following Thursday night’s two-part episode, the loudest voices online were, of course, the complainers. Twitter and Tumblr users were furious about the finale’s alleged failings, both large (Dean’s death) and small (the fact that Sam’s wife was never named or shown clearly). Protests about Supernatural in general have always ranged from fair enough to batshit bonkers, never mind an episode where they killed off the show’s (inexplicably) most beloved character. Supernatural tags were *not* a pleasant place to be after the show, and that hasn’t changed much. I’ve yet to read any professional reviews of the finale, though I suppose I will at some point…or not.

Like the X-Files before it, I think Supernatural was always best at “monster of the week” episodes. Like the X-Files before it, it sometimes bowed under the weight of its own mythology. If you told me even SPN’s writers couldn’t always remember the powers and constricts they’d assigned to each specific supernatural being or scenario, I’d have no problem believing that. The arc episodes could be muddled, confusing, and overly full of themselves, but those monster-of-the-week episodes never failed to please. I know I hold the minority opinion there, but that is a sword on which I shall happily die.

Neither Jared Padalecki nor Jensen Ackles will ever be among the world’s great actors. I’ll take heat for saying it, but it’s true. I think Ackles has fantastic comedic timing, but neither is blessed with superior dramatic chops. The show was lucky to fill itself with terrific supporting players, though, and, in the finale, both Ackles and Padalecki outdid themselves. For 15 years, I’ve cringed and/or rolled my eyes every time they’ve had to be Serious Actors, but even I was impressed with their work in that final episode. It gave the show an emotional wallop it couldn’t otherwise have managed, regardless of where the story went. I cried when I watched it, I cried more reading about it, and I cried when I watched it again the next morning. Giving additional credit where it’s due, for a show that once had to trim two minutes per episode to make budget, the hair and makeup department did a fantastic job aging Sam over the last 30 minutes of the finale. I daresay a show like Fargo has all the budget it wants, yet when they age Chris Rock, he looks rather like someone attacked him with Christmas-tree flocking. Every stage of Sam’s aging looked very authentic. Well done, hair and makeup!

It’s hard to remember, way back in the beginning, when every season’s end brought the question of whether the CW would see fit to renew Supernatural for another year. Fans wrote letters and sent emails. We signed petitions. It seemed like every year, for the longest time, until the show somehow became the cornerstone of the CW. If the showrunners had said, “We’d like to do 40 seasons,” I think the CW probably would have said, “Well, alright then!” I’m sad it ended. I don’t love the way it ended. But I’m grateful to all involved for giving us this show and the family it built, and I respect their right to have ended it on their own terms.

This got long, as my writing tends to do. I didn’t mean it to; I just wanted to say a few words about what Supernatural has meant to me, and probably will continue to mean to me. Of all the famous people I’ve met – and there are many, from US Presidents on down the line – the only meetings commemorated with framed photos in my house are Mark Messier (I mean…) and Jared and Jensen. I’m happy I could be a part of #SPNFAMILY. I’m glad we will be family forever, even if it’s going to be very different now. Thank you, Supernatural. 🖤