#i got three bc the rule of 3. and also they stand for “good luck. good suck. good fuck”

[ancient-reverie]

back on my one pack a week bullshit. this is #3

[sscoutregimentss]

I was gonna make a request based on your Eren x Gamer Reader post but then I saw you take poly requests... Erejean x Gamer Reader? (She/her pronouns btw ^_^)

sure thing anon! your brain is huge. i started a one shot which is now sitting in my drafts bc i literally dont know how to finish it. maybe i'll post it later but for now here you go headcanons woohoo

eren and jeans dynamic makes it look like its impossible for them to share a girlfriend but it actually? works surprisingly well?

arguing is kinda their love language in a very strange weird way. if theyre not fighting somethings wrong but their like constant bickering actually is rlly important to you three's relationship lmfaooo a lot of communicating is just eren and jean fighting and then you pick up on something they say and you three talk it out. plus its gets all their energy out at the end of the day... like when puppies run around in circles bc they didnt go on long enough walks

jean is the planner of the couple, always making sure you guys get tickets to see this that and whatever, always figures out how ur gonna get places and when everyone will be picked up, makes sure everyones schedules are free and that theres no big game release that you'll miss and eren doesnt have work and jean isnt volunteering

in terms of nerdiness jean is a decent middle ground between you (who says "ummm actually..." unironically) and eren (who thought dungeons and dragons was a kinky thing) because he lives with connie so he gets roped into playing stuff like rainbow six seige and watching battlestar galactica into late hours of the night. also he's an only child who was prone to boredom as a kid so he played video games like any other only child. that being said he has a more extroverted personality and aptitude for sports so he just never got as absorbed in it as you did

this kind of makes eren jealous tbh because he thinks jean has more to relate with you then him. but jealousy is like a natural feeling and despite his feigned reluctance jean is happy to share his knowledge with him.

plus eren realizes that what he lacks in video game and movie knowledge he makes up in anime bc jean is clueless on that front. once you went on this huge rant about how sailor moon would decimate goku in a fight and jean just goes "gokus the pirate with the fox spirit, right? hes trying to become number one pro hero right?"

speaking of eren eren and jean are on the same volleyball team (i hc they play volleyball bc theyre tall but i think theyd be cute on any sports team because im weak hearted) and you become their fave cheerleader <3 they look for you in the stands before each game and have their own little ritual for good luck. when he spots you jean jumps really high (despite the team captain, levi screams at him to save it for when the game starts) and makes a heart with his arms and blows you a kiss when he gets in the air and its so embarrassing so eren just dogpiles the embarassment but giving you an over exaggerated wink its the worst theyre gross

jean gets you into connie's discord server after you complain that people are really rude to you in online games and eren is quick to demand an invite too even though he literally plays nothing and has no idea how discord works. he will log in and ping you to show you a meme and even though connie's server is really chill with rules (like 10 ppl max, just some friends hanging out) he has always wanted to say "no memes in general" so he does it every time. you have to show eren how to use private messages once connie jokes abt eren being his discord kitten.

cuddle pile while watching movies... jean is a film buff so you three have movie nights rlly often. its usually you sandwiched in between them with jean behind you and eren in front of you so you can play with his hair. jean's movie taste is actually really broad and you and eren both find a ton of new favorites through him.

they both really like listening to you ramble. you can explain soooo much lore abt your fave series and theyre both really invested. eren is more invested in the characters while jean is more focused on what happens next, but theyre both listening rlly well and making sure you know they care. they kinda care in different ways though? while eren is just passionate and because he's so passionate he must know about all things you like, jean is either interested or just likes hearing your voice. of the two jean is more likely to give you short answers and he'll be more dozed off so he's good to go to when you just want to rant. eren is going to ask you more questions and get wayyy more confused so he's good to go to when you want to explain or flesh out your points.

jean finds eren's jealousy of fictional characters sooooo ridiculous. whenever eren is pouting about some new video game guy youre in love with jean is rolling his eyes because of course its eren jaeger he's just looking for things to get angry at. "what are they gonna do idiot, come out of the tv?" but then one day there's a character that looks a lot like eren and suddenly he understands everything. but he realizes you have a thing for guys with long hair. he'll keep the mullet around for a while

they both really like having you sat in their laps and (unbeknownst to you) in order to avoid conflict they created a system. cozy game? eren. reading? jean. watching anime? eren. watching something live action? jean. playing a game on your phone? eren. watching an analysis video for your favorite franchise? jean. just messing around on your computer? rock paper scissors, best of three. eren likes to hug you tight and rest his head on your shoulder while talking to you. when it gets quiet he'll nuzzle his face in your neck and give you small kisses there. while jean likes to put his hands under your shirt and rest it on your stomach while you two chat. he's puts his head on your head or throws it back depending on your height and kinda just likes letting his hands wander, like rubbing up and down your arms or tickling you lightly.

you: i hate this stupid game

eren: yeah babe that game fucking sucks (has never played it in his life)

jean: then stop playing it?

you and eren, at the same time: what? no.

all in all they are good boyfriends 10/10 would recommend.

[spencstan]

Six of Crows re-read

(i also did this for the shadow and bone trilogy so read that if you want to)

spoiler alert obiously

i'm SO EXCITED FOR THIS this is my comfort book (with crooked kingdom of course)

JOOST HI

oo fun fact this was my first grishaverse book and i read it with no context whatsoever except that the mc is an emo boy and morally grey

so IMAGINE my pure confusion when JOOST appeared

i was like ?????? weird take on morally grey character but ok

joost trying to figure out how to flirt with a girl is a mood

anyone wanna teach us how to???

i kinda wanna skip this part so i can see the crows..

but i won't don't worry

(won't I?

"I think Yuri may be quarantined"

aaaand?

so are we you are not special

i feel like it's very important for me to mention that i read this book in spanish first

and then i got into the fandom and i was like who the fuck is the wraith? i only know El Espectro

Heartender who??? ooo you mean Cardio

Tidemakers? nope, i only know Maremotores

for real i was so confused i had to re-read it in english (not that i mind tho)

say whatever you want about the spanish version but we have to agree that this design is pretty af

another one yay: "Retvenko was a Squaller" vs. "Retvenk era un Impulsor"

(should i also say that in my pfd english version the book is 294 pages long and in my pdf spanish version its 532????) (i think it's because in the english one the speces are way less like the lines are so close together wtf

i've decided that i'm bored so i'll be skiping this chapter

anya is super badass tho

skdgfalsdgfliaysvfascvhjl yesssssss inej

Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

KAZ

INEJ

I MISSED THEM

omg now i can picture amita and freddy SDJGKASKGLASG THIS IS AMAZING

we interrupt our regularly scheduled program to watch the shadow and bone trailer once again to hear freddy's beautiful voice

ok moving on!

now hear me out i'm giving you all permission to make fun of kaz for this one: Dirtyhands = Manos Sucias

hello i am Kaz Manos Sucias. nice to meet you!

AAAAA

AAAAAAAAAA

JESPER FAHEY

JESPER LOVE HI

SJDGHFKAHSGDLAJSDFSJ,AHFLHDSGF

I MISSED HIM OMG

OMG NOW I CAN PICTURE HIM AS KIT

can you tell jesper is one of my favourite characters?

i really love the fact that kaz is pissed about the murder of that ambassador ONLY because he can´t figure out how it happen

he´s such a nerd

i can't believe one of the firts things we hear jesper say is threathen to kill someone by writing "forgive me" with bullets

AND HE CALLS HIS GUNS "BABIES" OMG

picture saying hi baby and wylan thinkin he's talking to him but actually jesper's talking to one of his guns

Jesper rolled his eyes. "It's about sending a message. What's the point of a dead guy with forg written on his chest?."

"Compromise," Kaz said. "I'm sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets."

ooo thank god we have kaz to come up with creative solutions /j /s

honestly i love how they talk about kaz's cane like it's the scariest weapon ever (which it kind of is)

nothing will ever disappoint me more than finding out that in english their gang name is "the Dregs". like i don't even know for sure what that means

in spanish is "Los Indeseables" (the undesirables?) which sounds a lot more badass

no hate tho i like the dregs

but i was confused af bc i expected it to be sometihng like "the undesirables" or"the unwanted" or whatever

and it said "the dregs"

which in the translator means something like shit or something

anways moving on:

If he'd (kaz) ever been a little boy

i love how lowkey all the crows think he was just born exactly like he is now

imagine a baby kaz all dressed in black and threatening people

cute

"No mourners," Jesper said as he tossed his rifle to Rotty

"No funerals," the rest of the Dregs murmured in reply. Among them, it passed for "good luck".

YES

YESSS

i wonder what wylan's doing right now :))

i can't wait for the next book where he has a pov

the first time i read this book i literally looked at the title of every chapter to see if he ever got one (i was disappointed to say the least :((((

Besides, she was the Wraith - the only law that applied to her was gravity, and some days she defied that, too.

ma'am

marry me please

i'm gonna cry so hard once the show is out and we get to see inej omg

me simp

That Kaz had chosen Jesper to be one of his seconds was no surprise. Twitchy as Jepser was, with or without his revolvers, he was at his best in a fight, and she knew he'd do anything for Kaz.

idk why but i just love it every time kaz implies or shows that he cares or trusts jesper

it makes me soft

But every one of Inej's senses told her that was not how this was going to play out. Her father would have said the shadows were about their business tonight. Something bad was going to happen here.

underrated saying from Inej's father right there

"I'm a business man," he told her."No more, no less"

"You're a thief, Kaz."

"Isn't that what I just said?"

i-

i see no lies here

not to be annoying but i hc jesper as adhd (i mean is pretty much as canon as wylan's dyslexia) so i'm gonna write here every time i see evidence :)

jesper with adhd part 1: impulsivity

Jesper snorted. "Stomach, spine. What's next, spleen?"

"Shut it" Oomen snarled. The rules of parley dictated that only the lieutenants could speak once negotiations had begun. Jesper mouthed "sorry" and elaboratedly pantomimed locking his lips shut.

he know he couldn't speak but couldn't stop himself from making a comment (i relate way too much to that lmao)

hoestly poor jesper he had to watch hid friend get shot and kaz do nothing about it

i would've been mad too

"I like it when men beg," she said. "But this isn't the time for it"

KAHGFAHLGSFGASFLGSAFS

this is one of the best quotes in the book by far

YASSS KAZ POV

Kaz could have tol Jesper that he knew he wasn't dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him eough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight.

cute

but kaz is petty af

he didn't even have a reason not to tell jesper that!

i love that kaz knows inej is following him but doesn't say anything because he wants to wait until she's ready

i LOVE the scene where kaz in in the van eck mantion /srs

idk why but it's so good

And, of course, there was the mystery of Van Eck's son.

wonder what that could be!!! /s

He grinned at her (...)

"Hmm." she said noncommittally, pretending to examine one of her knives, determined to ignore that grin.

KANEJ YESS

HE'S BASICALLY SHOWERING IN FRONT OF HER OMG

this is so funny poor inej is getting flustered

"And I'll need Wylan waiting at the Crow Club tomorrow night."

YES WYLAN OMG

One minute he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder

happens to the best of us :/

"Please, my darling Inej. treasure of my heart won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"

if kaz doesn't say this on the show we riot

agreed?

it's so amazing how nina found a way to use her powers to get money instead of having to like steal and murder like the rest in the gang

NINA'S POV YESSS HIII

nina and inej omg

their friendship is just perfect

POOR MATTHIAS HE HAS TO FIGHT THE WOLVES

i would straight up cry

Matthias was dreaming again. Dreaming of her

i'm gonna cry damn it

this is the enemies-to-lovers we all needed

jesper has adhd part 2:

"Jesper was supposed to wait until three bells." said the pale boy

"It is three bells, Kaz." replied a small girl (...)

"Since when is Jesper punctual?" the boy complained with a glance at his watch

the time blindness come one

(btw i love the fact that kaz plans around jesper's time blindness instead of like threatening him to be on time)

i really love how every one feels the need to take the time to say/think that the masks are ugly

its so unnecessary lmao

yessss inej is a badass that kills monster we stan

and matthias is lowkey impressed lmao

as he should

"Thank you, Jesper," said Nina

"You're very welcome, gorgeous. See, Kaz? That's how the civilised folk do"

THESE TWO OMG

JESPER IS THE LOML

INEJ OMG LOOK:

She stepped aside as if she's known he was coming, languidly hooking her heel behind his ankle. Matthias let out a loud grunt as he landed on the stones

(...) "Clumsy, this one," the bronze girl said impassively.

i-

that's what happen when you underestimate her bitch

AAAAAAA

PEOPLE

PEOPLE

TIME TO FREAK OUT

WYLAN IS HERE

AND HE'S DOODLING STOP IT'S SO CUTE

ok jesper has adhd part 3 i think:

"Just how crazy is he?" asked Jesper, fingers drumming on the pearl handles of his revolvers.

ok first of all: stimming

second of all: hyperactivity

i rest my case

ok 2 or 3 things here

"I believe you know Nina," Brekker continued. "The lovely girl freeing you is Inej. (...) and this is Wylan, the best demolitions expert in the Barrel"

"Raske is better," Inej said

The boy looked up, ruddy gold hair flopping in his eyes, and spoke for the first time. "He's not better. He's reckless"

"He knows his trade"

"So do I"

ok 1: kaz calling inej lovely omg kanej

2: YES WYLAN STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF

2.5: kaz calling him the best cute af

3: honestly why do people think wylan is like an innocent soft boy or whatever. he's in a room full of murderers and thieves and the first thing he does is correct them and stand up for himself

like i wish i could do that

i would be crying like a bitch

AAAAAAAA

"Meet Wylan Van Eck"

KHDSGFALSGFIASGFAL

HI WYLAN BABY

YESSS JESPER'S POV NOW

I'M SO HAPPY also look at this it's the first thing in his pov

Jesper stared at Wylan

do i sense some wesper?????

ok everyone is being so mean to him right now

they are aclling him useless and an idiot and other shit

poor boy honestly he had to deal with this + taking part of a heist he is definetly not ready for + he has to hide the fact that he can't write or read

it so distrubing that kaz is literally the nicest one to wylan right now

"See that? Hidden depths." (...)"He's good enough at demo, and he's got a fine hand for sketching, thanks to all those pricey tutors."

(...)

"There you have it," Kaz said to Jesper. "Marketable skills. Wylan is watching you, Helvar"

GET READY

ARE Y'ALL READY?

OK THEN:

"Scheming face," Jesper whispered to Inej.

She nodded. "Definetly."

THEIR FRIENDSHIP OMG

AND THIS QUOTE

I NEED IT ON THE SHOW THEY BETTER GIVE IT TO US

"Who's Mark" damn wylan (but pretty good comeback to jesper tho)

"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?

"Knife to the throat?" asked Inej.

"Gun to the back?" said Jesper.

"Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina.

"You're all horrible," said Matthias.

tag yourself i'm jesper

KJSFGAL kaz just told wylan to tell him everything he know about his dad's company

and he said he doesn't know and kaz was like "and you never looked trough his documents????

AND THEN HE GOT SAD AND SAID HE HADN'T (and kaz believed him this is sad)

AND NOW JESPER CALLED HIIM USELESS

ok you know i love you jes but if you keep this up

idk i can't do anything you're a sharpshooter

but stiiiiiil

LMAO MATTHIAS ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE COULD BEAT KAZ

nice try

demjin

*insert spongebob voice* demjin

WE'RE GONNA TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO APPRECIATE INEJ GAHFA

BECAUSE KAZ DOESN'T

The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true.

*ugly crying*

Many boys will bring you flowers. But some day you'll meet a boy who will learn your favourite flower, your favourite song, your favourite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.

*uglier crying*

TANTE HELLEN IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

SOMEONE PLEASE STAB HER FOR ME

jesper has adhd part ?? (i have dyscalculia you can't expect me to remember the number):

That sound - the swift, shocking report of gunfire - called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else.

do i really need to explain this?

ok just in case.. an adhd brain doesn't actually have a deficit of attention(the name just sucks) it's problem with controling that attention. the brain is always looking for new sources of dopamine which is why it shifts its focus so much

i love that jes thinks of matthias as "tha giant"

like sir

have you seen yourself?

you're tall af

HE GOT SHOT

WHY DID I FORGET JESPER GETS SHOT IN THE LEG HERE

"Close your eyes!"

"You can't kiss me from down there, Wylan"

"Just do it!"

i love the energy BUT NOW IT'S NOT THE TIME JES

YESS WYLAN SHOW THEM THEY WERE WRONG CALLING YOU USELESS

inej just stabed some guy int the d

good for her!

KAZ YESSSS HI

AWWW SHE'S WORRIED HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS CANE

KANEJ FOR LIFE

oh no wylan got shot too???? (just barely but stilllll por baby)

my Wraith omggg

ok 3 things about this:

Without another word, he tipped Oomen into the sea.

"No!" Wylan shouted, leaning over the railing, his face pale, stunned eyes tracking Oomen in the waves. (...)

Jesper set his hand on Wylan's shoulder. "Let it go."

"It's not right-"

"Wylan," Jesper said, giving him a little shake."Maybe your tutors didn't cover this lesson, but you do not argue with a man covered in blook and a knife up his sleeve"

1. wesper yasssss

2. wylan just argued with a mant hat had just tacken the eye out of someone. he literally called him out for being an asshole. like damn wylan is brave af i love him

3. do you think seeing kaz trow the guy out of the boat reminded wylan of when the same thing happened to him???? this makes me sad

he's brave and a good person and i just-

"Man with a knife, remember?" he said over his shoulder.

"Man with a gun!" Jesper called after him

this had no right being so funny

AND THEN KAZ GAVE HIM THE MIDDLE FINGER STOP I CAN'T

nina is the biggest kanej shiper no one can tell me i'm wrong

unrelated but if jesper had gone to the Little Palace and had studied there with nina they 100% would've had a crush on Zoya and bonded over it

like you can't tell me those two bisexual disaster wouldn't be absolutely in love with Zoya

jesper has adhd part ??:

Jesper scrubbed the back of his neck, touched his hands to his gunds, returned to his neck. He always seemed to be in motions

hyperactivity right there

and restlessness

"Do you know the best way to find Grisha who don't want to be found?" (...)

"Seems to be if they don't want to be found, you should just let them be" (jesper says this)

this conversation must be so stressful to him omg

LMAO JESPER CUT MATTHIAS HAIR THIS IS SO FUNNY

AND HE SHAVED HIM

ok you all know i love all of them but they can be sooo stupid

like wylan wrote no names on the drawing and he's excuse is that he doesn't know fjerdan?

AND THAT'S NOT EVEN TRUE he literally said he learned school fjerdan which means he should know how to write it too (we know why he can't but the tohers don't)

and even then like the excuse doesn't make any sense. why would having the original name be usefull if no one can fucking read it????

the worst part tho? NO ONE QUESTIONED HIM

THEY WERE LIKE "yup makes sense" AND WENT ON WITH THEIR DAY

i wondered how they didn't figure wylan's secret sooner but now i now

it's because theya re idiots

"I'm just doing my job. Stop glaring at me"

wylan baby let's not make the gigant mad

Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. "Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost."

Brekker's lips quirked. "I'll just hire Matthias ghost to kick your ghost's ass."

"My ghost won't associate with your ghost," Matthias said primply, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

i had to put this here i don't want to get murdered by the fandom

jesper, inej and nina have the BEST friendship

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE JES AND INEJ TOGETHER ON NETFLIX

"I know some people don't understand, but Kaz told me ... he said it was my choice, that he wouldn't be the one to mark me again."

i love this because it happen when they had just met

he did it because he understands her trauma and he respects her not because he loves her (i doubt he did at the time)

Kaz had been impressed with the sketches. (...)

"Just learn to take a compliment. Kaz doesn't hand them out often."

I'M SO PROUD OF WYLAN

and yess kaz only compliments wylan (and inej but that's sarcastic so it doesn't count) because he's a proud dad

"And you don't belong here, either."

"I beg your pardon, merchiling?"

"We don't need a sharpshooter for Kaz's plan, so what's your job - other than stalking around making everyone angsty?"

He shrugged. "Kaz trusts me."

Wylan snorted and picked up his pen. "Sure about that?"

DAMN WYLAN DESTROYED HIM

also

"If you aren't born with every advantage, you learn to take your chances."

"I wasn't-" Wylan left off and set down his pen. (...)

aww cute neurodivergent boyfriends bonding

Wylan had turned back to his work, his disappointment obvious. For some reason, Jesper felt disappointed, too.

ajgflasjgfjagslfiuusgflgdfsgdflasdgfsd

wesper

aww jes checks on inej every morning and every night i love him

"Thank you for keeping me in this world when fate seemed determined to drag me to the next. I owe you a life debt."

Nina blushed deeply. "I was teasing, Inej"

LJFGALKGFALGA another cute friendship right there

(and i can see why people ship them romantically)

STOP INEJ AND JES ARE BONDING SO MUCH (page 127 so i can go back and read it lmao)

Van Eck writes to Wylan every week, and Wylan doesn't even open the letters

"They just said the same thing again and again: If you're reading this, the you know how much I wish to have you home. Or I pray that you read these words and think of all you've left behind."

should i kill him? anyone want to join me?

Inej bumped her shoulder against his."Then at least we're both the same kind of stupid." (...)

"You're too good for him, you know?"

"I know. So are you"

jes and her bonding over their stupid crush on a white boy

Because I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.

jfsfdajdhmgkfutdjrgsg ok i can't blame them for having a crush on him anymore

this chapter is full of kanej i love it

"What do you want, then"

You, Inej. You forever.

jksdgfoagsdfgsdgfklasgdflaghsldfgksdgfkahgsdfghjlkf

kaz's backstory makes me sad

"When we get our money, you can burn kruge to keep you warm," said Kaz. (...)

"I´m gonna pay someone to burn my kruge for me."

Kaz fell into step beside him. "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what big players do."

"You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone ...". Their voices trailed off as they tomped ahead, and Matthias and the others followed.

JES AND KAZ HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS

i can't believe we get to see nina and matthias meet and their whole backstory in less than a month omg

"It's not natural for women to fight."

"It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand."

QUEEN

YOU TELL HIM

oh no the dead grisha

this part breaks my heart every time

"Do you have a different name for killing when you wear a uniform to do it?"

.....i'm just gonna leave this quote right here

anyways acab

stop nina tried to kill the survivor so they wouldn't suffer but she couldn't do it

and jesper did it for her without hesitation i wanna cry

and inej didn't want to do it either i want to hug them

"Because our crime is existing. Our crime is what we are"

..........

i'm gonna leave this here again

do with it what you will

"Don't mock what you don't understand."

"My mockery offends you? My people would welcome you laughter in place of this barbarity"

i- this conversation is so important

AAAAA JES AND WY ARE A GREAT TEAM I LOVE THEM

WYLAN TROWS BOMBS TOGIVE JESPER TIME TO GET READY TO SHOOT

INEJ AND KAZ ARE A GREAT TEAM TOO

THEY LITERALLY DID THE SCENE LIKE IN THE AVENGERS (but without the shield WHICH MAKES IT BETTER)

Jesper shouldered his rifle. "Wylan earned his keep."

Wylan gave a little jump at the sound of his name. "I did?"

YES BABY YOU DID GREAT

kaz getting self-conscious for his hair is pure comedy

but nina how can you say that have you see his hair on the show???? it's perfect

"Remeber our friend Mark?"

HELP I CAN'T

"Any other impossible feats you'd like us to accomplish?"

The bearest smile flikered over Kaz's lips. "I'll make you a list."

once again jesper and kaz being besties

unrelated but nikolai and jesper would love each other

the amount of sass they have between them it's unparalleled

"Mmm," Inej murmured, taking a sip from her mug. "Maybe you're just not enough."

DAMN

ma'am marry me please

kaz fainted damn poor boy

unrelated unce again but this is so much betetr than shadow and bone

like you can tell leigh improved so much

her characters are better and their arcs are better developed

the writing itself it's better

or maybe i'm just biased because i love soc so much but i think she definetly improved

INEJ IS TRYING TO GIVE HIM SPACE EVEN WHEN SHE'S TRAPPED AND LOCKED ON THE WAGON

I JUST - THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO MUCH

Though he'd trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with his shame.

Inej had once offered to teach him how to fall. "The trick is not getting knocked down," he'd told her with a laugh. "No, Kaz," she's said, "the trick is in getting back up"

inej is smart af

Kaz was usually unshakeable during a job, but now he was on edge, and Jesper didn't know why. Part of him wanted to ask, though he knew that was the stupid part, the hopeful farmboy who picked the worst possible person to care about, who searched for signs in things that he knew deep down meant nothing - when kaz chose him for a job, when Kaz played along with one of his jokes. He could have kicked himself. He's finally seen the infamous Kaz Brekker without a stich of clothing, and he'd been too worried about ending up on a pike to pay proper attention.

ok i got a couple of things to say about this part

first of all it makes me so sad that jes cares so much for someone who dosn't deserve him. because no hate to kaz but they would never work as a couple and kaz already treats him like shit most of the time

i think this part shows who a lot about who jesper really is. a boy that grew up having to hide parts of himself, who thinks he's worth nothing but it's smart and capable, who's loyal and brave and caring but doesn't even know it himself. he's someone who feels he doesn't deserve good things and thinks he's not good enough, and that's why he unds up in all the wrong places with the wrong people. he left uni bc he fell in with the gangs, because he didn't think he was smart enough or even prepared to be in studying in the university. jesper is constantly hiding behind a mask or running from things because he's scared of not being enough

an kaz is everything jes in a way wishes he could be. kaz is secure in himself (at least on the outside), he's stable, he's smart, he's "unshakeable". and most of all, he doesn't care about others (we know that's not true but that's how he presents himself)

and that's the thing that causes jesper all his problems. because he's insecure because he thinks he's not good enough for the poeple or things he cares about. and he's always trying to do what's best for his loved ones: he went to the ice court to pay his debt for his father, he follows kaz everywhere beacause he cares about him, he offered to read to wylan (knowing it wouldn't be easy for him to be still that long).

and yeah it often doesn't work out becuase he's messy and he has problems but he tries. and he hates that. he hates that he cares so much about people because at the end of the day, that's what makes him feel like he's not good enough

one more thing and i'm done i promise

unpopular opinion but i love that leigh made jesper have a crush on kaz. 1 beacuse it's refreshing to see someone not get otgether with his first crush. and 2 because i love that it shows that we sometimes get attached to people that are not good for us, but that we can learn to move on. jesper ended with wylan who respects him and values him, unlike kaz

ok i'm sorry that was probably all bs

oo one more thing, jesper definetly has rsd (rejection sensitive disphoria), which is something most poeple with adhd have

"My father used to take me everywhere with him"

this is so sad. bc they probably had a good relationship when he was little. and then they figured he coudln't read and now his father treats him like shit

it's even worse than if he haf been horrible from the beginning because wylan knows he can be a good father. and so he thinks it's his fault and he deserves to be treated like that. i hate van eck

"You're cuter when you're smart"

(...)

"Definitely cuter when you're smart"

wesper yesssss

i love them so much

ok but why do people think jesper is stupid. like the boy just made a bunch of criminals pass out by mixing some chemicals

and he was going to the university at like 15

AAAAND NOW THEY KNOW HE'S A FABRIKATOR

amazing plot twist

also:

Wylan coughed. Flirting with him might actually be more fun that annoying him, but it was a close call.

oooo come on jesper we all know you just love getitng him to blush

and you love him

who said that? definitely not me, nope

awwww jesper misses being around animals that's cute

imagine him coming home to wylan one day with a puppy because he just couldn't resist

cute

Better terrible truths than kind lies

just leaving here more of inej's wisdom

ok this may be a reach but jesper has adhd part ???

Yellow Protocol? Red Protocol? He couldn't remember which was which. (...)

"The alarm was Yellow Protocol, a sector disturbance."

Jesper pushed at his temples. "I don't remember what that means"

a bad working memory? sounds familiar

kaz loves puzzles

it's canon

"I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue."

this part where wylan and jesper see the banner made with grisha's kefta kills me every time

I would have worn purple, Jesper thought, if I'd joined the Second Army. (...) He'd beenwilling, even eager to risk capture and execution as a thief and hired gun. Why was it worse to think about being hunted as a Grisha?

this makes me want to cry so much

another thing super sad: the fact that since his father is Kaelish and had some supersititons towards grisha, jesper grew up wondering if his own father was scared of him. he had to hide his powers and he was almost taught to be afraid of them

"Is it safe to leave them, you know-"

"Alive? I'm not big on killing unconscious men."

"We could wake them up"

WYLAN

NO

damn the boy needs therapy

it's amazing how nothing went like they planned

not a single thing

PEOPLE GET READY

ARE YOU READY?

NEITHER AM I BUT WHO CARES

"What do you like?"

"Music. Numbers. Equations. They are not like words. They...they don't get mixed up."

ok dude the clues are right there he's basically saying it

"If only you could talk to girls in equations."

There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they'd created in the link, Wylan said, "Just girls?"

Jesper restrained a grin. "No. Not just girls." It really was a shame they were all probably going to die tonight.

wylan really said a straight man?? couldn't be me

this is the definition of bi panic "jesper restrained a grin" bitch we saw that

btw i love the slow burn

like they hint something here but they don't actually start liking each other until much later and they don't get together until almost the end of ck

i also love that the fact that they both like guys is like out in the open now. bc i'm not a fan of when queer characters have a crush and there's the whole thing of "are they queer too or not?"

like they both know htey are queer. but they don't get together right away bc they have to start liking each other before. they don't get together bc they are the only queer mlm characters

matthias fake betrayal killed me

i tought it was real

I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept fom this oath.

this is just-

also foreshadowing?

YAYY KUWEI HI

There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.

She's laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and got drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.

if i ever have a s/o and they don't tell me this at least once i don't want it

He needed to tell her... what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himslef together into some smeblance of a man for her

THIS

THIS IS LOVE RIGHT THERE

they are the only straight couple that matters

everyone else go home

Wylan had scratches all over his cheeks and neck. He was beaming. Inej grabbed his hands and sqeezed.

so cute omg

"You can explain why our illustrious Shu scientist looks like one of Wylan's school pals along the way"

KAZ

i mean it's true but you didn't have to say it

KAZ IS SMILING OMG

EVERYONE FREAK OUT WITH ME

HE'S "grinning like and idiot" STOP I LOVE HIM

"We are all someone's mosnter, Nina"

"I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all"

this part breaks my heart and i love it

"Stay," she oanted. Tears leaked from her eyes. "Stay till the end"

"And after," he said. "And always."

i just- helnik is perfect

AWWW JESPER MISSES WYLAN

my daily dosis of wesper :)

ok but in like 2 pages jesper tought of wylan like 10 times bc he's sad wy isn't with him

Jesper scanned the empty deck. He's assumed Wylan would come up to see them off. (...)

Jesper knew he was being selfish and stupid, but some petty part of him wondered if Wylan had deliberately kept away from him on the journey back. Maybe now that the job was complete and he was on his way to his share of the haul, Wylan was done slumming with criminals.

*charles boyle's insinuating voice* and why do you care so much???

btw YOU ARE WRONG. HE'S LITERALLY GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T SPEAK

this scene where we find out the truth about wylan hurts so much but it's one of my favourites idk why

I LOVE THAT EVERYONE IS AS MAD AS I AM ABOUT THE LETTERS NOW

"Your're a fool," Jesper snarled. "He smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."

YES TELL HIM

the fact that wylan just heard him say that omg

"Deserved" amended Van Eck. He blew the whislte twice.

SOMEONE BETTER GRAB ME BEFORE I KILL HIM MYSLEF

THAT IDIOT

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

I'M GONNA CRY CAN SOMEONE KILL HIM FOR ME

Jesper screamed in rage and raised his guns.

YES EXACLTY WHAT I MEANT

JUST KILL HIM RIGHT NOW

"I'm not big on bludding, am I Inej?"

"Not as a rule"

Van Eck's lip curled. "And why is that?"

"Because he'd rather cheat," said the boy who was not Kuwei Yul-Bo in perfect, unaccented Kerch.

THIS WAS PERFECT

THE BEST WAY TO REVEAL THAT

(...), and Jesper flinched

baby he recognized wylan's voice

The Shu boy held out a hand. "Pay up, Kaz"

BITCH THIS IS AMAZING

THIS BOY MADE A BET WITH A CRIMINAL THAT HIS OWN FATHER WAS GOING TO TRY TO KILL HIM

AND HE WON THE BET

A nearly perfect replica of Kuwei Yul-Bo stood before them, but he had Wylan's voice, his mannerisms, and - though Kaz could see the fear and hurt in his golden eyes - Wylan's surprising courage, too.

i love it when they compliment him

my boy deserves all the compliments ever

AND KAZ IS PROUD OF HIS SON WE ALL KNOW THIS

Wylan cuold draw a perfectt elevation. He's made a drill that could cut throu Grisha glass from parts of a gate and scavenged bits of jewellery. So what if he couldn't read

this is taking me to some real places

i may cry you've been warned

WYLAN DIDN'T CARE THAT HE MAY BE STUCKED LOOKING LIKE KUWEI

this is making me cry

"A fool would have been waiting to be smashed to bits on that ship. And as for "traitor", you've called me worse in the last few minutes alone."

EXACTLY

YOU TELL HIM WYLAN

Instead, in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.

BABY

i would've done the same tho she's pretty

amita is sooo pretty i'm gonna die when the show comes out

Jesper was staring at Wylan, his eyes roving over the black hair, the golden eyes. "Why?" he said at last. "Why would you do this?"

nothing to say here except: wesper

You... how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I tought it was Kuwei?"

"Every time."

i want to cry so bad

"Why does it matter?"

"I don't know!" Jesper said angrily. "Maybe I liked your stupid face."

a very staright and platonic thing to say of course

i know jes we all liked his stupid face

"Jesper made a mistake," said Wylan. "A stupid mistake, but he didn't set out to betray anyone."

YES WYLAN DEFEND YOUR BOYFRIEND

And maybe he'd kept him in the dark about Wyllan because he wanted to punish him a little

even kaz know they like each other come on

Jesper sat with elbows on knees, head in hands. Wylan deside him wearing th face of a stranger.

wylan give him a hug fro me please

he needs it

"Scheming face," murmured Jesper.

"Definitely," agreed Wylan.

i miss inej already

And I'm going to get my girl. Inej could never be his, not really, but he would find a way to give her the freedom he´d promised her so long ago.

i'm ugly crying and so what?

and now we're done....

i want to read this book again omg this is unhealthy

[froegs]

My Stardew OC’s!

long post, but feel free to read up if u wanna ask questions or request to see more of them!!

Ivy Sodbuster!

Quick Facts about Ivy:

She worked in customer service @ joja for 6 years

She was a dedicated scene kid 8th grade and all through high school, unfortunately she had to trash (almost) all her clothes and redye her hair bc of joja 😞

She only wore business casual bc she would go and work for seven hours and come home, sleep, repeat. When she started working on the farm she was broke as hell so she had to rip the sleeves off her shirts and cut her jeans into jorts so she could have work clothes

Emily was her first friend in town bc she saw ivys busted ass and said..... let me help you

She became friends with Sam second just because. He was around.

She inherited grandpa’s farm with her cousin, Oakley (my friends oc, once she finalizes a design I’ll draw them more).

Oakley’s more “mature” (bc shes 30) but she just is really anxious. Ivy tries to set her up with Leah but they don’t click,,, Oakley ends up falling for chicken man.

Sam introduces Ivy to Seb and instead of Farmer falling for NPC its the other way around Fr.

Seb crushes on Ivy immediately

His first attempt at flirting was like “hey ivy...... wanna see me beat Sam at 8pool for 3 hrs straight?” And Ivy immediately joined Sam’s side and demolished Seb in 8ball.

Ivy ended up hanging out with the ASS trio on a daily.

Seb and Ivy started dating Fall 1 of year 1 after they confessed their feelings for each other during the dance of the moonlight jellies festival

They moved in together 3 days after Seb’s bday

And were married Summer 10

They fast burned this bitch but they are so stupidly in love

In Year 3 Spring Ivy’s other cousin on her moms side became pregnant and chose to give it up for adoption, but beforehand she asked everyone in the family if they wanted a baby

Ivy looked at Seb like 👀

So on Year 3 Winter 1 they brought home their son, Finn

I think this is a classic trope for all Sebastian lovers but he def dresses Finn up in a frog onesie and calls him tadpole !!

Her favorite activity is fishing, that’s how’d she find excuses to hang out with Seb by the lake

She loves making artisan items, especially truffle oil. Oakley prefers large crops and agricultural designing and ivys like fuck yeah mushroom >:D

Milo NoLastName!

Quick Facts About Milo:

Milo was smuggled into Pelican Town by the Traveling Merchant when he was 6 and was taken in by Gil and Marlon.

Gil was 55 and Marlon was 46 when they “adopted” Milo

Gil took the most care of him and Marlon kind of had the attitude of like... a dad when your family pressures him to get a dog. First week their like FINE I GUESS we have to TAKE CARE of HIM. Next week: me and the bestie!

Milo looks up to Gil so much. His favorite brown jacket was Gil’s old one.

Marlon took Milo into the mines when he turned ten as a sort of “coming of age” trip and.... a bat nipped a part of his ear off.

Marlon said it’ll build character

But he was freaking out about it

Gil was upset but got it patched up.

I head canon that Evelyn taught the kids in town before they went off to high school, so four times a week (he’d usually stay home Friday to reset and relax or help out his dads) he’d have to socialize with the others

But he was always a few years older than them so he felt kind of distant

The others in question were Alex, Penny, Sam, Abigail, Sebastian, and Maru

Once he graduated middle school he convinced Gil to let him homeschool so he could find geodes and sell them during most the day.

When he was 17 he finally reached floor 120 of the mines, but on his way climbing back up he got attacked by three squid kids and void spirits, lost his left ear, and blacked out

He was rescued by Marlon, who rushed him home and took care of him

Because Pelican Town didn’t have a doctor at that time, the bus was broken down, all Marlon could do was try and clean up his ear and give him antibiotics and make sure it didn’t become infected

He lost his hearing in that ear

That was the biggest injury he’s gotten so far, but he was grateful when Harvey moved to town

Harvey opened his clinic, fresh faced (ish) at 26 and immediately some scruffed up 24 year old saunters in like “thank GOD ur here dude, here’s fourteen years worth of problems. Good luck.”

It didn’t actually go like that

But

Basically

Milo’s not really a social person, at 25 he discovered he could easily buy a car and drive out to the desert to try his hand at skull cavern. He came prepared but ended up needing emergency surgery that night anyway

He slowly but surely became friends with Sandy and the desert trader. He liked the trader for her prices and Sandy for her kindness.

He also fell in love with....... HARVEY!! (shocker)

Harvey actually fell in love with him first :))

Idiots to lovers slow burn

Hell they’re not even together by the time ivy rolls around and they met like.... 6 years ago??? My god these bitches.....

Pheobe Dy

Quick facts about Pheobe:

Pheobe actually grew up closer to the desert than Zuzu City or pelican town!

Her parents own a decent sized cacti farm and she’d bus into town for school where she met Sandy and Emily!!

I like to believe there’s another town (not as small as Pelican) but close knit in the desert. I hc that Sandy’s shop, skull caverns, and the trader are just like the entry road to a nice desert town

Anyway

She got into fashion and design when Emily pulled her and Sandy into it in sophomore year of high school

Sandy didn’t like it that much and would usually hit glue or staple pieces bc she’d procrastinate the whole time lol

But Pheobe and Em where DEDICATED

they’d hang out after school to design clothing and critique each other’s work (with love, of course)

Pheobe went to college for clothing design with her backup being IT and computer work (another passion of hers)

She started dating Sebastian when she met him during a trip to a small computer repair store in ZuZu city

He thought she was cute so he gave her his number and they met at Stardrop Saloon

She felt a need to like him, not because she was actually attracted to him in any way, but because she was a ~closeted lesbian~

So that relationship didn’t last too long

Ok maybe a little

2 years

But she’s bad at cutting off things, ok?

That’s when she realized she liked her best friends... Sandy and Emily

Emily and Sandy were already in a pretty open relationship by the time Pheobe came around, but it still took her some courage to admit her feelings to them.

They started dating when all three of them were around 26.

Emily moved with her sister Haley to pelican town a year into their relationship, and Sandy and Pheobe followed.

They bought a car so Sandy could maintain her shop in the desert

There is now a house where that garden that Harvey stands in 25/8 is. And Sandy and Pheobe live there. I don’t make the rules.

Pheobe and Emily work together on a small clothing company, they design the clothes together, Emily makes them, Pheobe made a website and uploads them there, and Sandy sells some at her shop :D

The three of them would like to tie the knot one day, but right now they’re super content on where they are, so sometime in the future :)

[bma-2020]

Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

[bipolarwitchcraft]

Awnser all the questions of the post you recently reblogged.

Yeet 1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?-water bottles. I like metal ones. 2. chocolate bars or lollipops?-lollipops3. bubblegum or cotton candy?-cotton candy4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?-a pleasure to have in class and a creative writer. I wrote a lot of stories and was told by a few teachers I could be a published author when I got older. I hope they’re right. 5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?-cans the easiest 6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?-boho goth county would accurately describe me7. earbuds or headphones?-earbuds but not apple earbuds Bc they hurt8. movies or tv shows?-tv shows under 30 mins bc my attention span is 2 seconds (excluding the Orville and 911 bc those are amazing shows)9. favorite smell in the summer?-well water and main and tail shampoo10. game you were best at in p.e.?-volleyball. If I didn’t have to play 2 sports to be in athletics I would have played it in high school. 11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?-I don’t eat breakfast usually at school but when I work at camp I’ll usually have 2 eggo waffles and peanut butter maybe with a plum or something 12. name of your favorite playlist?-drive songs 13. lanyard or key ring?-key ring. I can’t stand having my keys on a lanyard 14. favorite non-chocolate candy?-Swedish fish 15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?-the secret life of bees and of mice and men. They are the only two I actually read all the way through and didn’t sparknotes lmaoo16. most comfortable position to sit in?-completely slouched in a chair with on leg crossed 17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?-my serape ariat cruisers or my berks 18. ideal weather?-70s to mid 80s with a nice breeze 19. sleeping position?-I’m a stomach sleeper lol but I usually try to fall asleep on my left side 20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?-note book. My favorite are the 5-star note books. College rule. One subject. 21. obsession from childhood?-dinosaurs and rocks. Still relevant today as a geology major22. role model?-don’t have role models. They always disappoint. Just be a decent person and do what you enjoy. 23. strange habits?-I rub the corners of blankets and pillows and such on and under my thumb nail. But only my right. I also poke my tongue out of my mouth a little when I’m riding. 24. favorite crystal?-I’m a sucker for amethyst. But quartz is also a favorite. I have natural quartz clusters all over my backyard at home. 25. first song you remember hearing?-besides like baby songs it was probably something my dad was listening to so I’m going to say Loser by Beck or Sweet Home Alabama bc those have been staples of my life. 26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?-ride and then immediately jump in the lake 27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?-read 28. five songs to describe you?-I don’t know enough about myself to know what describes me but my favorite songs rn are ‘99’ by Barnes Courtney, Colours by Grouplove, Pumped Up Kicks by foster the people, Talk Too Much by Coin, and Broken by lovelytheband 29. best way to bond with you?-talk to me 30. places that you find sacred?-nature, whataburger at 3am, and my room 31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?-I always feel badass when I wear my show chaps 32. top five favorite vines?-omg so many. Road work ahead, Adam, any from that kid that wear his hoodie and has his ears sticking out (snoooooooooop), well when life gives you lemons, you either kill your self or get killed what you gonna do 33. most used phrase in your phone?-lmaooo34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?-tide pods with gronk 35. average time you fall asleep?-midnight ish 36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?-ummmm it was probably some iFunny shit 37. suitcase or duffel bag?-duffle 38. lemonade or tea?-sweet tea 39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?-lemon meringue pie from Bluebonnet Cafe 40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?-some much. Some let a rooster loose in the main hall and no one could catch it, some left stink bait in the locker and the whole school smelled, some just showed up and gave my ag teacher a calf, we had a interim principal who we called Bernie Sanders which he hated and sent out a announcement video telling us to stop and we only got worse 41. last person you texted?-my mom42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?-jacket pockets 43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?-oof I’m a sucker for a cardigan 44. favorite scent for soap?-lavender 45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?-fantasy 46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?-over sized t shirt47. favorite type of cheese?-mozzarella 48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?-I feel like I would be a strawberry bc im a strawberry blond/a redhead 49. what saying or quote do you live by?-sometime it just be like that 50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?-this video has my gasping every. Single. Time. If you’re sad PLS WATCH: https://youtu.be/23B017ZVIx451. current stresses?-finals and getting my wisdom teeth removed 52. favorite font?-I only use times new roman lol I don’t type a lot 53. what is the current state of your hands?-dry but my nails are getting long which I’m glad about54. what did you learn from your first job?-I worked retail so I learned how to handle people at their worst lol 55. favorite fairy tale?-I like the Disney Rapunzel, but I also like the original telling if the little mermaid 56. favorite tradition?-watching the 24hours of a Christmas Story during Christmas 57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?-self harm -body image -fighting 58. four talents you’re proud of having?-creativity through writing, riding, baking, common sense59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?-bro60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?-yoooo61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?-I’ve read too many books to have a favorite line from just one lol, but I heard “I’m a grown up ass man I can do what I want” on AP bio which was pretty funny 62. seven characters you relate to?-Nina Zenik from Six of Crows. That’s it. She’s the only one. 63. five songs that would play in your club?-I cannot stand clubs or bars so none lol64. favorite website from your childhood?-fucking moshimonster.com and girlsgogames.com 65. any permanent scars?-yep. I got burned as a baby and still have the scars on my fingers 19 years later. I have a lot more as well. 66. favorite flower(s)?-I’m more of a succulent person so cactus flowers 67. good luck charms?-I don’t really have any 68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?-I had ranch flavored soda once so that takes it. But I don’t like cheap beer either. 69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? -a daddy long leg spider is the most poisonous spider but their fangs are too weak to pierce human skin 70. left or right handed?-right 71. least favorite pattern?-houndstooth 72. worst subject?-calculus 73. favorite weird flavor combo?-hot Cheetos and sour cream74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?-575. when did you lose your first tooth?- 5 y/o76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?-mashed 100%77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?-jade succulents 78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?-I like sushi from HEB 79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?-school id80. earth tones or jewel tones?-earth times 81. fireflies or lightning bugs?-firefly 82. pc or console?-Uhhh idk??? 83. writing or drawing?-writing 84. podcasts or talk radio?-talk radio 84. barbie or polly pocket?-Polly pocket. Forbidden gummy 85. fairy tales or mythology?-mythology 86. cookies or cupcakes?-cupcakes with no icing 87. your greatest fear?-bugs crawling in my ear 88. your greatest wish?-to be successful and happy with a S/O and a daughter on lots of land89. who would you put before everyone else?-my parents 90. luckiest mistake?-There are no mistakes. Everything happens for a reason. 91. boxes or bags?-depends 92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?-sunlight93. nicknames?-my dad calls me sissy bug and my mom calls me bamber and my friends call my dumb bitch lol so 94. favorite season?Spring or fall. They’re basically the same in Texas. 95. favorite app on your phone?-social media apps96. desktop background?-I don’t have a desktop but my laptop is just a pre downloaded galaxy ones. 97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?-mine, my moms, my dads, and my dads business 98. favorite historical era?-ancient Egypt and the 60s

[paperbackphoenix]

92 questions holy shit

I was tagged by the marvellous @phoebe-does (why phoebe, why, it’s so many)

Rules: answer the 92 questions and tag 20 people

last… drink: water rip

phone call: umm my friend liv i think? asking “where tf are you”

text message: “Nearly at the top” honestly can’t remember what that meant

song you listened to: moonlight sonata by beethoven bc im a nerd

time you cried: literally today because patrick rothfuss is a fantastic writer and kvothe’s life is sad

have you.. dated someone twice: what does ‘dated’ mean?

kissed someone and regretted it: my mom oh my god, i’m joking

been cheated on: no

lost someone special: no, actually, i’ve been very lucky so far

been depressed: the emotion? yes. otherwise, no

gotten drunk and thrown up: fuck alcohol guys

list three favorite colors… colors: blue, lilac, grey (i am aware this is a shade)

in the last year, have you… made new friends: yeah!

fallen out of love: was never in it m8

laughed until you cried: absolutely

found out someone was talking about you: yeah and my friend recorded the conversation (argument) lmao

met someone who changed you: not really?

found out who your friends are: nah this past year has had like no drama whatsoever

kissed someone on your Facebook list: no, and who uses facebook anymore? look i might use the messenger app but that’s it

general… how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all bar internet friends

any pets: no and i’m salty about it

do you want to change your name: not really, but if I had to i would happily

what did you do for your last Birthday: had some friends round and played games

what time did you wake up: 7am

what were you doing at midnight last night: listening to the harry potter audiobooks (my g stephen fry)

something you can’t wait for: hamilton!!!!!! hamilton at the west end in april!!!

when was the last time you saw your mom: about an hour ago?

what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my procrastination. it would’ve saved me a lot of grief last year

what are you listening to right now: mendelssohn’s symphony no.3 (tbh if you don’t listen to classical music, you’re missing out)

have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah its a really common ass name

something that is getting on your nerves: these questions no ummm my history coursework; i picked the one question that doesn’t fit the structure they want us to use

most visited websites: youtube and tumblr maybe?

other info about myself… mole/s: fucking hell yeah it’s all my mom’s fault

mark/s: i never usually scar but i’ve got one on my knee now from having to continuously skid across the floor in a play (dedication)

childhood dream: i’ve wanted to be loads of things. let’s say an actor

hair color: blonde, but also purple atm

long or short hair: its kind of in the middle?

do you have a crush on someone: no, thank fuck. i just see people and think how painfully attractive they are and that they probably aren’t gay

what do you like about yourself: my creativity

piercings: i have 2 on each lobe

blood type: who knows this shit

nickname: purple becky, because there are 2 becky’s in my circle of friends

relationship status: standing alone on a hill in a big flowy dress

zodiac: leo

pronouns: she/her

favorite TV show: ummmmm game of thrones is really good, but i don’t watch tv a lot

tattoos: none because you have to be 18. i’ll probs get one maybe

right or left hand: right

surgery: never

hair dyed in different color: purple, and i want to experiment more at some point in my life

sport: whats this? i played tennis for a long time but now my sport is stress

vacation: i’d love to go to scandinavia and see the northern lights. OR canada

sneakers: we call them trainers here

more general…

eating: what is this even asking? i’m not eating anything right now? i want ice cream though

drinking: water still

i’m about to: watch something with the fam I think

waiting for: college to start yikes

want: to get my alevels over and done with

get married: marriage sounds a bit shit and expensive tbh

career: editor? author? actor? idk man

hugs or kisses: hugs man they feel 10/10

lips or eyes: eyes

shorter or taller: who can be shorter than me (i’m not actually that small)

older or younger: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? older i guess?

nice arms or nice stomach: a nice stomach that doesn’t get so fucking hungry all the time (who cares about arms?)

sensitive or loud: loud as fuck

hook up or relationship: right hook

what am i

troublemaker or hesitant: god i obey rules even if i hate them. i’m scared of getting into trouble rip

have you ever… kissed a stranger: who the fuck do you think i am

drank hard liquor: yeah, i bought my dad some spiced rum (i wanted the bottle tbh) and it fucking burned. twice. there was the rum burn and then the spice burn a few seconds later. not pleasant.

lost glasses/contact lenses: not so far. i don’t need my glasses all the time though

turned someone down: lmao yeah

sex on the first date: how dare you i am a maiden

broken someone’s heart: i doubt it, the guy was like 13 at the time

had your heart broken: no

been arrested: fucking no

cried when someone died: robb and catelyn stark

fallen for a friend: no

do you believe in… yourself: sometimes i wonder if i actually exist

miracles: not really? i’ll say “WOW THATS A MIRACLE” when its just like... idk luck?

love at first sight: nah that’s bs

santa claus: i’m not 6

kiss on the first date: depends???

other… current best friend name: elie

eye color: blue/grey

favorite movie: god idk? grand budapest hotel?

FINALLY, THE END

ok i tag: @bvkspine @boneseasonofglass @kat-from-minasmorgul @beckisbookshelf @word-stuck @teaandalotofbooks @happybibliosaurus

i’m... not tagging 20 people soz

[irishsunshine-n-l-l-h]

Thanks to the amazing @lia-is-in-love​ for tagging me. I’m such a tiny blog so I never get to do fun stuff like this (also the same reason I can’t tag 20 people, but I’ll tag a few) <3

Rules: Tag 20 friends you would like to get to know better….

Nickname: Amy Baby, Aim

Zodiac sign: Scorpio

Height: 5'3

Last thing you googled: “Songs from early 2000s 8th grade dances” I was hanging out with my friends and I couldn’t remember the slow song that they used to play at the end of dances btw it was “Moment Like This” by Kelly Clarkson...I recall saying that if I (who was not slow dancing and was standing next to one of the chaperones) “If I was waiting a lifetime for a moment like this, that my life was going to suck” (I was right)

Favourite music artist: Other than One Direction, I really like The Lumineers (special thanks to Niall for bringing them to my attention). Before I got into 1D I loved AC/DC, and 70s and 80s rock. Also, Gavin James and Ed Sheeran (especially “Happier”) and Little Mix are up there as well, but 1d are my boys and I know my top artists are going to be them once the release their new music. On a nerdier note, I love the Lord of the Rings soundtrack by Howard Shore.

Song stuck in my head: Lately it’s been either “Through the Dark” or “Strong” both two of my favorite 1d songs

What are you wearing right now: College t-shirt and shorts...I have Captain America socks on too ;)

What do you post: Mostly Niall, Narry, and Louis and general 1d stuff. (Lilo and Lirry also have a soft spot in my heart) (hence my “oops I tripped over some lirry” tag)

Why did you choose your URL: Niall is the Irish Sunshine...he’s just so damn adorable and the N-L-L-H stands for Niall, Louis, Liam, and Harry because I’m a Niall blog but I also love the other boys and my 1D playlists are all NLLH bc I didn’t want to out myself haha

Do you have other blogs: Yep, I have a Supernatural/The Walking Dead/a few other shows that I am now behind on, blog @evilfriendofmine which is why my AO3 name is that and not my 1d blog.

What did your last relationship teach you: (my last relationship was in like 8th grade...people don’t want to date me) but if you are nice to someone before you start dating them and then ignore them once you make it official, don’t expect it to last more than two weeks. Also don’t tell people that the person you are dating is also friends with that you are going to break up with them. (I have 8th grade rage)

Religious or spiritual: more spiritual, I like a good connection to nature over anything else.

Favourite colour: blue/turquoise (I also like really dark red)

Average hours of sleep: 6-7? Last year it was like 3-4 and I kept having anxiety attacks so I force myself to go to sleep by 1am latest.

Lucky number: I love the number 8, but I think it’s good luck to look at a clock at 12:19am because that’s when I was born (I think it’s bad luck to look at a clock at midnight)

Favourite characters: Dean Winchester from Supernatural, Wolfgang Bogdanow from Sense8 (also all the characters on Sense8!) but Wolfgang is my angry German baby, Gwaine from Merlin, Aragorn, Faramir, and Eomer from Lord of the Rings, Scott and Stiles from Teen Wolf.

How many blankets do you sleep with: 6 (three quilts, my fluffy blanket, a fleece blanket, and a large crochet blanket) and I have two small afghans that I bury my face in when I sleep...all but one of these blankets are handmade. 

Dream job: Novel writing, possibly those novels being turned into movies or tv shows and getting to help with that. I love having creative input and working with my hands, but I’m not that great at anything that I can do like, painting, sculpting, makeup, I’m not amazing at any of them, I’m not even that great of a writer.  I like the idea of being able to stay home and write for my job, while I take breaks to play with my future dogs.

Since I don’t know that many people (and sorry if you’ve already done this), but I’m always ready to make some more connections, I’ll tag some mutuals and my best friend @mildlymaddy @likestarsinthesea @gentleau @stylingmrstyles @dassy1407