#i got them water lettuce

[papayasapphic]

i love y ou little fish…

[wendingus]

Listen I'm just saying if the CW had cast me in the Powerpuff Girls remake, I could have saved it.

[inbabylontheywept]

my grandpa was a good man. and it really wasnt his fault - recreationally lying to kids is a proud family tradition - but he told me, once, that cutting a worm in half resulted in two worms.

i think he said it so i'd be more morally okay with fishing? i actually dont remember the context.

point was, he told me this, and he understimated (by a very large margin) how much i liked worms. i was a worm boy. very wormy. and after hearing that, i went home, and i dug through the garden, flipped over every rock, did everything i could to gather as many worms as i could, and then i uh.

i cut them all in half. every worm i could find. all of them. with scissors.

i then took this pile of split worms, and i put them in a box with a bit of lettuce and some water and stuff and went to bed expecting to double my worms overnight. i have math autism, so i had a vague understanding that if i did this just a few times in a row, i would eventually have a completely unreasonable amount of worms.

i was very excited to become this plane's worm emperor.

(i think i was...six?)

anyway, i did not become the inheritor of the worm crown. i instead woke up to a box of dead worms and cried. a lot. i got diagnosed with panic attacks as a teenager, but i think i had them as a kid, i just had no idea what they were. i was kind of processing that a.) i had killed what i had assumed was every single worm in my yard, and thus would have no more worms, and b). i was going to like, worm hell.

(six year babylon spent a lot of time worrying about god.)

so i kind of freaked out, and i climbed a tree, because god can only smite you if you're touching the ground (?) and i sat up there mostly inconsolable until my mom came out and asked, hey, what's up? what happened?

so i explained to her that i had killed all of the worms, forever, and was also Damned, and she took me to the compost pile, and we dug for all of five seconds and found like twenty more worms.

the compost pile was full of worms.

she then told me that a). there were more worms, and we could put them back under rocks and stuff and recolonize our yard and b). that one day, i would die, and go to heaven, and be able to talk to the worms face to face. that i'd be able to tell them all that i was very sorry, and that i killed them on accident, driven only by excessive Love, and that she was positive they would forgive me because worms have six hearts and no malice.

at that point, i think i was sixty percent tear-snot by weight, and i had no choice but to gather enough worms that i could hug them. which my mom helped with. and then after that she helped me put some worms back under each rock.

and for my epilogue: i spent a significant portion of my childhood in trees. and for many years after, even when my mom didnt know i was watching, i would catch her giving the space under the rocks a light spritz with the hose. not because she loved worms.

but because she loved me.

[sludgeguzzler]

my latest body horror dream involved people turning into frogs, they were apparently my family also

[stupidphototricks]

One of my favorite Discworld tropes is normal (ish) prose written in the style of religious texts, because I don't know*. Definitely I love it when writing mixes it up a bit, yay for not sticking to the usual sentence/paragraph structure all the time. I remember being gobsmacked as a kid when I read, I think, one of the Hitchhiker's books and there was a chapter that consisted of a single word, like whoa, you can do that??

Anyway, there's way too much pseudo-biblespeak in Small Gods to make a comprehensive list, but here are some of my favorites:

Yea, the Great God Om spake again unto Brutha, the Chosen One: "Psst!" -- Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

Once more the Great God Om spake unto Brutha, the Chosen One: "Are you deaf, boy?" -- Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

He cursed a melon unto the eighth generation, but nothing happened. He tried a plague of boils. The melon just sat there, ripening slightly. -- Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

"This is good lettuce. And it's me saying it. You don't get lettuce up in the hills. A bit of plantain, a thorn bush or two. Let there be another leaf." Brutha pulled one off the nearest plant. And lo, he thought, there was another leaf. -- Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

He had smitten good and hard in his time. Now he could just about walk through water and feed the One. -- Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

VIII. It's Got A Good Ring To It. Hurry Up, I've Got Some Smiting To Do. -- Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

XV. I Could Destroy You Utterly. "Yes. I am entirely in your power." XVI. I Could Crush You Like An Egg! "Yes." Om paused. Then he said: XVII. You Can't Use Weakness As A Weapon. "It's the only one I've got." -- Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

VI. This Is Religion, Boy! Not Comparison Bloody Shopping! You Shall Not Subject Your God To Market Forces! -- Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

*Mainly, of course, because it's funny. It's funny up to and including the point where you start thinking about how, in reality, pretty much all religious books probably came about kind of like this, recorded by random people who maybe didn't have the entire context, and included irrelevant bits, and took the whole thing way too seriously.

And then they're passed down through the ages and people make an entire way of life out of them, how can you not laugh.

[ultrasharpy12345stuff]

Proof that Law of Assumption is Real

You can literally experience what you want right now. Let's use an example, think of something simple.

Think of a burger. It's juicy and succulent. It smells really good. It has the fat dripping off it it, it has fresh lettuce and tomato slices. Maybe some pickles. It's thick and meaty and it has it's aroma wafting in the air. You can smell the seasoning. You can smell the butter brioche buns and of the oil is fried to the underside of them. The air is filled with the scent of barbeque sauce and fried meat. And it's not cheap like from McDonalds or something, oh no. I mean this is a REAL burger made in house by hand.

Did your mouth start to water? Did you start to imagine what it would be like if you got to eat this burger?

If this all started happening to you then you have just proved to yourself that imagination is real. Imagination is literally another dimension. What's in your mind is another world. And you're able to bring what's in your mind outside.

Artists do it all the time. They have a picture they want to make. They envision it, they imagine it, they think about it. And then they make it! And then boom it exists! Isn't that cool? They actually brought something from another dimension into the real world!

I have a confession: there's a videogame I want to make. I've been thinking about what this videogame would look like. I keep thinking about how this videogame would play. And it's gotten to the point where I can almost clearly see it in my head, this fantasy videogame that doesn't exist. But here's the kicker: I FEEL like I've literally played it. It's so weird.

So that's the same way with LOA. See, what you imagine is real. It's REAL. It's in your mind. And you can actually experience what you want RIGHT NOW.

You can do it. Think of something you want. Now ask yourself, "What if this were true right now?" I myself just got this really dumb grin on my face. And that's proof that it's real. Because I experienced what I wanted THAT MOMENT.

Here's another proof: you're supposed to be happy. No, I'm not just saying that to make you feel better I mean literally human beings aren't supposed to be in undesirable situations and have terrible emotions. The reason is because feeling good... well, feels good. Doesn't it? So doesn't that mean you're always supposed to feel good or more often than not? If feeling good feels good then that means you're supposed to feel that way. It's a reward.

You do something and you get rewarded for it. That's a pavlovian response. This is nature, this is natural. That is how we are wired. We are supposed to feel good, we are supposed to be rewarded. So why not feel good? If life is hard enough as it is doesn't that mean we should make it less hard? So doesn't that mean we should naturally feel good?

Then logic follows that if feeling good feels good then we are supposed to feel good. And if we're supposed to feel good then we should do everything in our power to feel good (within reason of course). And in that case giving to ourselves what we want in our mind will do that.

[slowlyoats]

The Lost Boys: What would they impulse buy at the grocery store? 

Marko 

those little capsules that you place in water, and they turn into sponge animals 

Don’t ask me why, but I could totally see him with a small hoard of them 

He would have them all organized by animal, all in their separate little tins and jars he’s collected from the beach

I definitely think he’s the type of person that would wait for the capsule to dissolve in the water fully before looking to see what he got! 

Paul HATES waiting, and wants to break the capsules when Marko’s not looking to see what he got 

At this point Marko has a LOT 

BUT he is still looking for that elusive blue giraffe 

Paul joked that he is going to take them all and make one giant, mega, sponge to wipe his butt with 

Marko says he will cut all of Paul’s fingers off while he sleeps and hide them around the cave for him to find if he does this 

Paul doesn’t suggest that idea ever again 

Paul 

cans of frosting 

This BOY HAS AN ADDICTION 

I definitely have this headcanon that Paul ran with a bad crowd when he was human and was deep into some hardcore drugs 

When he was turned, he lost the desire for that hard stuff (accept for his lettuce hehe) 

And that addiction somehow translated into his new Vampire DNA as an almost uncontrollable desire for all things sugar 

He definitely goes through different craving waves for sugary items 

In the past it's been sugar packets

baby bottle pops (but only the powder because he's a little maniac)

Honey sticks 

And even sugar cubes 

But now he is on a frosting kick 

So when David and the boys decide they are having a night in due to bad weather or just pure laziness 

Paul’s favorite thing to do is to grab a tub of frosting and a spoon, and go to town while watching cartoons on the semi-broken tv they have in the cave 

Dwayne 

Coffee

He LOVES a fresh cup of coffee 

And he is realllllllll fancy about it too

I’m talking Like French press fancy 

He absolutely does not keep his supplies in one of the living spaces in the cave though. He doesn’t like to share 

Which is completely understandable, given the fact that he is constantly around his brothers 24/7. 

And typically, what his, is theirs; and what’s theirs is his

He is allowed to have AT LEAST ONE THING to himself 

This man will LITERALLY lose his mind and take ALL OF THE BOYS out with him if they even THINK of messing with his coffee stash 

All this man needs is one cup of his nice French Press coffee at LEAST ONCE a week and he can confidently and calmly deal with the terror twins and dictator David 

David 

Black licorice 

What can I say? he’s an old man at heart (literally) 

I think he would have a little jar he keeps it in 

And he keeps an even littler jar of his licorice in his inside jacket pocket 

Whenever Marko or Paul sees him take out his jar YOU BET, they have a string of nicknames they berate him with for the rest of the night

Pa is there favorite (think little house on the prairie) 

But they also enjoy calling him 

Granddaddy or G-Daddy 

Gramp Vamp

Old Bones

And Dwayne’s personal favorite 

pop-pop

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗕𝗢𝗗𝗬 𝗛𝗨𝗥𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚

　　　　　　　　　𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒔𝒕𝒚𝒍𝒆𝒔 x reader

SUMMARY: Where the hate that Y/N has been receiving on social media gets her on a path that she couldn't come back alone from.

WARNING: Eating disorder, dysmorphia, self-hatred, comparison. PLEASE read with caution!!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

Y/N was home alone for the second week in a row, and to say that things were easy would be a big lie. Her days were always the same: Spending hours doing different physical exercises and other hours reading the most horrible comments from Harry's fans.

She could never say they were bad people, after all they loved and cared about Harry, but there was something within the fandom against her, and she wondered if it was because she wasn't famous or because she wasn't thin.

Her heart told her that she shouldn't worry about it, there were sweet people who defended her and always presented proof of how much happier Harry seemed to be when with her, but her mind screamed that it was option two.

Hours of sleep were lost with Y/N ​​in front of the mirror, without any clothes and with her hair tied up, her dark eyes with big bags underneath wandering over every part of her body while her brain made records of absolutely all the negative parts.

To say that she wasn't in agony every time she saw an old article about Harry's exes or comments comparing them all to her was an understatement, she could only feel disgusted with herself and her body, while all her past traumas came back with full strength.

With Harry away it made it easier for her to do her fasting and her long hours of physical exercise, in addition to going days without ingesting anything more than one or two leaves of pure lettuce, and lots of water. The feeling of the cold water running through her body and reaching her empty stomach was pleasurable, and all she could think about was how thin she only felt when her stomach was empty.

And without even realizing it, her best friend became her scale, and her greatest partner became her seamstress' measuring tape. Y/N had even printed out some images of the body models she dreamed of having every day, and pasted each one of them in different corners of the house, especially in the kitchen, with strong messages full of triggers that made her think twice before opening the refrigerator or cupboard.

It wasn't surprising that she had an exaggerated reaction when she was told that Harry would have a week without shows, and that in that week he would return home and, consequently, to her. Y/N wasn't prepared to see him again, or rather, she wasn't thin enough to do so. Her weak legs ran around the house, tearing off all the photos and messages stuck to doors and walls, storing them in a far away place, where he wouldn't find.

She tried to take a long shower and brush her teeth repeatedly to get rid of the smell that she got from the lack of food. And then she felt a little ready for what was to come.

It wasn't long before the sound of the key in the main door was heard and the doorknob turned, the tall, dark figure appearing in the doorway with a suitcase in one hand and a big smile on his face, his emerald green eyes searching for her.

Y/N smiled one of her best smiles and ran to meet him, careful not to throw her full weight against him. She couldn't help but feel uncomfortable as his large hands encircled her waist, the worry that he would feel the fat on her back regions running through her mind. But what she didn't notice was the confused look on Harry's face as his fingers felt how much smaller she was, and he wondered if she had started some kind of diet.

"I missed you so much, H." Y/N murmured against his shoulder.

"Not as much as I did, lovie. Every day, I just thought about having you with me, encouraging me and loving me, and then rewarding me." Y/N felt her body tense at the mention of the intimacy they both shared, the thought of him seeing her body, even though he had already seen it so many times that he had memorized every detail, made her fear.

"Why don't we take this suitcase to the bedroom and then see what we do?" She interrupted the moment, walking away with a fake smile and taking the suitcase from the taller man's hands, starting to climb the stairs, leaving a confused and worried Harry behind.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Two days had passed, days full of lies on Y/N's part and worry on Harry's part. Y/N skipped breakfast, using the fact that Harry woke up after her as an excuse, saying that she had already eaten breakfast; At lunch she couldn't just lie or make some excuse, so she simply took a spoonful of the food that the brunette cooked with so much love, and spread it across the plate, trying to give the impression of having a full plate; At dinner she simply said that she wasn't hungry and that she lost the habit of eating dinner after Harry went on tour.

The days went on like this, Harry felt confused about the situation, but it didn't seem like he didn't believe it, so a debate raged between whether to bring up the subject or not.

Until one day. Harry woke up with the morning sun shining through the open curtain, which Y/N ​​opened every day, his body was warm from the duvet and Y/N's scent surrounded it, like Saturn's rings.

The man got up and did his routine, going to the bathroom, taking a quick shower and changing, ready to go down to meet his loved one, who was always waiting for him with a big smile, sitting at the kitchen counter with her cell phone in hand and a cup of coffee, which was just for him.

But today was different, as Harry went down the stairs a muffled sound became clearer, until his brain registered that the sound was of crying, with a frown the man quickened his pace and chased the sound, concern settling in his eyes.

It didn't take long for him to find Y/N in the fetal position on the main sofa in the room, the cell phone in her right hand while her left hand covered her mouth, trying futilely to stifle the sobs that broke from her throat.

Harry ran closer, kneeling on the floor in front of her seat on the sofa and placing his hands on the girl's knees, stroking them lightly.

"Y/N what happened? Who made you cry like this?" His green eyes migrated from her half-covered face and her cell phone.

"H-Harry-" Her voice broke as the taller man's name came out as a whimper.

"I'm here, baby!" He got closer, wrapping his hands around the smaller girl's shoulders, placing his forehead on the top of Y/N's head, breathing in her scent.

"Harry, I don't think I can do this anymore..." Y/N whispered.

"Do what, my love?"

"Us, Harry." The man moved quickly, astonished by his girl's response.

"Did I do something? It was one of those fake news that I'm cheating on you, wasn't it? Baby, I never-"

"No Harry, no. I know you would never do that! And you didn't do anything, I just..." She sighed and looked into his eyes, feeling guilty when she saw the pain in his emerald orbs. "Look at me, Harry, look at this." She pointed to his body, letting a loud sob out.

"What should I be seeing? Besides a beautiful woman."

Y/N laughed in disbelief, shaking her head and feeling a hint of anger start to rise, it was clear he would say something like that just to please her.

"Harry, I'm looking horrible. I don't have visible ribs or a protruding collarbone, I don't have a thigh gap or hip bones, I don't have thin wrists and I don't have well-marked cheekbones, I don't have pointy shoulders and I don't have a defined jaw... I don't have delicate hands or thin fingers, my waist isn't extremely thin and my breasts are too big. Harry, I'm not perfect and I can't give you what you need."

At this point Y/N was crying a desperate cry, with strong sobs that made her body shake and thick tears that ran down her face. Harry had tears welling up in his eyes as his hands balled into fists in anger at whoever had put these thoughts in his beloved's head.

"Y/N, who made you think like that? How can you deduce what I want?"

"Harry..." She closed her eyes tightly, her mind betraying her by bringing up images of Camille, the girl seemed to be kind, but Y/N couldn't help but feel jealous of her perfect body. "I'm not like them, I'm not like her!"

"Who? Baby, please-"

"I'm not like Camille or like Kendall or like Taylor, and I can't give you the pretty, thin image you need, the media hates me and I've lost count of how many times they've told you that you're blind from being with me, and I can't disagree with that."

Harry shook his head in denial, feeling angry at the media and everything they post and say with the intention of always offending someone.

Y/N continued to sob, and the force her body exerted with the act left her weak, the lack of food began to appear again and her eyes saw stars while her head swam. Harry grabbed her arms quickly, steadying her.

"Baby if you keep crying like that you're going to hurt yourself. Take a deep breath for me, hm? I'll get you a glass of water."

The brunette ran to the kitchen, starting to look for the decorated glass that he knew was the girl's favorite. While opening drawers and cabinets, his green eyes found a piece of paper glued to the front of the bottom shelf, where some industrialized sweets were kept. Harry took the paper and pulled it out, seeing a photo of a body exactly as described by Y/N and a note next to it, his eyes widened at the horrible mentions written there and he tried to get up quickly and return to the room, holding the paper firmly in your hands.

"Y/N what is this?" The brown-haired girl looked up quickly, her greatest fear happening right before her eyes. Her mouth opened but nothing came out. "Tell me something, when was the last time you ate anything?" She shook her head, ready to say it was the day before, but Harry interrupted her. "I mean a whole meal with a healthy amount."

Y/N remained silent, her eyes now fixed on the floor covered by the shag carpet, the older man took a deep breath, swallowing the lump that formed in his throat. He walked over to the smallest one and put the photo in his pants pocket, promising himself to look for others like it deep in the house.

"Y/N this is a serious situation, you can't keep something like this to yourself!" He couldn't help but feel frustration, he felt guilty for feeling like that because he knew that it wasn't Y/N's fault, but with the way that all of that came down, it just made his head confused and upset.

"Harry I'm fine, that was just-"

"Baby I bet you haven't eaten in days, do you think this is healthy, that this will get you somewhere other than a hospital bed? Letting this situation compromise you like this because of other people... That's not good for you. You don't need to have the same body as them, you don't need to have bones showing or a flat stomach to be magnificent. Those pants you're wearing were tight until a few weeks ago, and look at them now, they're baggy..."

Y/N kept her gaze down, her eyes were filling with uncontrollable tears that threatened to flow at any second again, her cheeks were heating up and the force she was exerting to contain the tears was starting to generate an unbearable headache. She knew Harry was right.

"I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me everything is okay. Just look into my eyes."

The girl slowly raised her head, her eyes focusing on Harry's beautiful green ones, which now held so much anguish and worry, a tear escaping from the corner of his right eye made her lower lip tremble. She opened her mouth to state that she was fine and that everything was going to get better, but her voice seemed to trail off for a second.

Her body hurt, her legs were wobbly and her arms were shaking slightly, she felt her head feel heavy. It was a horrible feeling, beyond normal.

"I-I... Harry, I think I need help."

She whispered, her tears flowing freely now with the weight of her words. Harry nodded vigorously, relieved that she understood that this situation was not normal, and promising himself that he would be by her side through the entire process, no matter how long it took.

And that night, after his girlfriend fell asleep, Harry cried.

[readercognito]

Lantern Plankton Migration

Nereus x Reader

(Y/n) shot Flora a withering look, not to be combated with Flora’s famous puppy eyes. But (Y/n) held her ground…For ten seconds.

“Fine! I’ll go to the stinking party!” (Y/n) caved, throwing her arms in the air.

Flora cheered, choosing to ignore (Y/n)’s next comment “Who knew that zooplankton migration was Andros’ version of summer solstice…” 

“I’m so glad you're coming! No one else can, other than Aisha. And I’ll get to show you off as the newest member of the winx club!” Flora said excitedly.

“And here I was hoping to have a quiet Saturday after all that Trix nonsense…” (Y/n) said grumbling, but couldn’t help the smile that shone through. “Well, at least it’ll be a fun Saturday with my BFF!” (Y/n) said, jumping into the excitement right along Flora.

“Right?! And I have the perfect outfits for us!” Gushed Flora.

“Oh, is it…?” (Y/n) said, hyping her best friend up. Pointing to a certain set of outfits in Flora’s closet.

“You guessed it! We’re splitting the co-ords!” Flora squeed. 

“YAAS! But I call dibs on using the top.” (Y/n) said, and grinned with mock cunning.

“Aww…so mean.” Flora said with false disappointment.

And that’s how the girls showed up to the party. (Y/n) wore a flutter sleeve tube top with a tropical floral pattern and a pair of white high-waisted shorts. While Flora was rocking a maxi skirt of the same pattern, with a slit to the mid-thigh and a black lettuce edge crop top. Aisha came swayed over to the girls,

“Well, well, don’t you look like a pair of baddies!” She said, hugging both girls. “So glad you guys came.”

Flora gave nothing but a smile, (Y/n) laughing “Like we would miss it! Plus Flora threw those puppy eyes at me… Can’t ever say no to that.”

The girls all laughed at (Y/n)s’ little joke. Aisha turned towards the moon pool in the center of her family's pavilion walking (Y/n) and Flora over to greet her cousins.

“You haven’t met my cousins yet have you (Y/n)?” Asked Aisha as they made their way over.

“Can’t say I have, I was in Linphea College during that whole ocean… fiasco.” (Y/n) said, shrugging. Waving her arms around a bit when mentioning the betrayal of Tritannus.

“Well you’ll get to meet them now!” Aisha said as the girls got to the pool, turning and gesturing to two of the mer-people within the moon pool “Hey guys! I know you know Flora, but we have a brand new member of the winx club! This is (Y/n).” She said, presenting (Y/n) to the merman and mermaid. (Y/n) smiled and gave a little wave. “(Y/n), these are my cousins Tressa, and Nereus!” Aisha said pointing to the mermaid, and merman respectively.

“OH! So you’re fishlips’ brother!” (Y/n) said before she could stop herself. Seeing Nereus and Tressas’ confused glances she continued “Sorry, little nickname I gave him during Flora and I’s talks. So sorry about that whole thing by the way, it must have been devastating for you three. I just wished he didn’t get pushed to that point, ya know?” (Y/n) said a bit melancholy.

Nereus gave a solemn nod in agreement. Her sentiments (and playful insult) instantly endeared (Y/n) to him.

Tressa decided to lighten the mood, “Ah, it’s all in the past now… Come on! the lantern plankton are about to arrive!” She said diving into the moon pool.

Aisha and Flora transforming into their sirenix forms and diving in after her, Nereus hesitated with (Y/n). Waiting patiently to follow after her.

“What’s the matter?” asked Nereus when (Y/n) made no moves to enter the moon pool.

“Would now be a bad time to mention that I don’t have any spells to help me breathe underwater?” (Y/n) said, gesturing towards the pool where her friends disappeared.

Nereus laughed, it was a little funny to see someone so confident get nervous so quickly. 

“Here, stay next to me. I think I’ve got something for that.” Nereus said gently, pulling (Y/n) into the water.

(Y/n) chose not to protest, even though her clothes were getting wet. She was curious to see what the ocean prince would do. Nereus gently placed his arm around (Y/n)'s waist, amazed at her immediate trust in him, wondering aloud.

“You trust quickly,” he said.

“Oh no I don’t! But Flora trusts you.” (Y/n) said her expression turning serious “Which means you're someone worth putting at least a little faith in.” (Y/n) said, instantly returning back to her lighthearted teasing.

Nereus felt his cheeks warm a bit at the statement. He wasn’t sure why, since most people he knew praised his good character. But hearing from (Y/n), who was such a bombastic and friendly person herself, made it feel like guppies were swimming around in his gut. Realizing that (Y/n) had been patiently waiting for him for a bit he hurriedly placed an underwater breathing spell on her. Tucking her to his side and swimming her into the open water. Which made (Y/n) realize something about the spell rather quickly…

“You jerk! Ya could’a told me that the spell keeps you dry!” said (Y/n) playfully, slapping Nereus on the arm.

“Oh, my apologies! I guess I don’t really consider these sorts of things…” Nereus said, cheeks flaming with embarrassment.

(Y/n) couldn’t help but laugh, covering her mouth trying to hide her smile. “Relax, I’m not actually mad. Now come on, take me to this plankton march… thing.” she said,

“The lantern zooplankton migration?” Nereus said, raising a playful quizzical eyebrow. 

He wasn’t used to people talking so relaxed with him, being a crown prince and all. But he was enjoying it. (Y/n) brought out a playful side to him that he hadn’t had since his brother's banishment.

(Y/n) just rolled her eyes with a laugh, allowing Nereus to swim her to the observation area. Meeting up with Aisha, Flora, and Tressa. They talked until the plankton appeared. It was a beautiful sight, it was like glowing living smoke. The colors shifted with the twists and turns of the zooplankton colony. Everyone was quiet with awe, the occasional sounds of wonder murmuring through the crowd at a particular color shift or swirl of the plankton.

Then something amazing happened, while the rest of the spectators with a large swath of the lantern plankton, a small arm of the colony meandered it’s way to (Y/n). Swirling around her (Y/n) reached out to them, playing with the little creatures pushing them to and fro. Nereus gazed at her, smitten. It was like an aquatic halo of multicolored light surrounded (Y/n), highlighting all her glorious features. Nereus could only equate what he was witnessing, to the magnetic beauty of a siren. Her light hearted genuine laughter was music to his ears. Nereus was bewitched by her, body and soul. Only the lantern plankton hurrying back to their migration was what returned him from his stupor. The tail end of the colony disappears into the ocean waters, causing the spectators to return to their homes.

The swim back to the party was a jovial one. Aisha gushed about (Y/n) and the lantern plankton, since it was something that no one had ever seen before. (Y/n) described how wonderful it felt to be amongst such amazing creatures. And it wasn’t until the trio of girls started making their good-byes that Nereus realized he might not see (Y/n) again for quite some time. It was now or never.

(Y/n) heard Nereus call her over, when got closer to him he waved her down to his level. However when (Y/n) leaned down, she felt lips on her cheek and heard a splash.

“Nereus! I’m so gonna get you back for that!”

[nayafanfic]

Can you do rotb Optimus (Or whatever bot you feel like) x platonic human single mom reader? Reader moves to the countryside and tries to start a farm to feed herself and her five-year-old kid. She notices strange happenings around the woods, like large footsteps, and strange vehicles driving on the roads, and has a feeling there's something in the woods (maybe just the bots trying to hide from humans). One day, reader looks away just for a second and her kid wanders off, getting lost in the woods. Reader looks for her kid desperately and her kid wanders too close to a cliff, ending up falling, but Optimus saves the kid just in time. He then carefully returns the kid and reader is confused when her kid constantly talks about 'Mr. Truck', making a drawing of this giant red-blue robot. However, reader then starts to believe in the possibility of Mr. Truck being real and one day finding Optimus with one of his injured Autobots. Reader is not scared and helps fix his friend, even offering them to stay in her barn. Then maybe that's just the start of a beautiful friendship?

(Sorry, if this is a bit long. You are free to ignore it.)

(platonic) Optimus prime x single mom reader

You lived alone, even though a few years ago it seemed impossible. Completely hypnotized by love, you hadn't seen the red flags. Always on the couch, yelling at you for any little mistake or letting you do all the chores.

The final straw was the slap on your face during one of many arguments, that night you left with a bag on your back.

Now 5 years later, you live in a small house with your adorable son and your 2 dogs. The little house is in the middle of 2 field of various vegetables (Tomato, cucumber, carrot, lettuce, wheat and recently, spinach). At the back of the house, is the mini farm with some animals.

But, even though you were fulfilled and exhausted from your new life, you noticed a strange event.

1- There are very few cars that pass in front of your house, but when there are, they are always the same ones. A large red and blue truck, another yellow, a pink motorcycle and another blue and white that drives like crazy (he already ate a stick, because he was driving fast and almost hit one of the chickens).

2- You noticed Mr. Truck's huge footprints? Finally, that what your baby boy has been saying since he got lost in the forest.

This day you will remember for the rest of your life. Everything was going so well, he was playing outside while you were fixing your old truck and in a second he was gone.

You spent the day looking for him, shouting his name and even sending your dogs at him. Until night fell and he reappeared out of nowhere. Never before you had cried, been relieved and angry at the same time other than at that moment. When you started to go home, he started talking about his experience with a big smile.

-Mom, when I fell in a water, a BIG robot picke me up!

-When did you fall? Where did you fall darling? And a big robot, that must have been so impressive! As a mother, you played into his game (thinking he was just talking nonsense).

After that day, he didn't stop talking about him, drawing pictures and dreams of the big Mr. Truck.

At first you thought it was just his imagination, young people have an extremely overactive imagination. But, It became so intense that you started to believe it.

So for good measure you installed fences all over your home (as if it would protect you, but also to prevent your son from returning there after his 5th attempt to run away).

But now you know it is real, because what is in front of you is the same thing in his drawings.

You had heard loud noises in the forest, so you went there and thought that one of the cows had run away again. Your son had already been sleeping for a good hour so there was no chance of him waking up, you took the shotgun, put on your boots and go outside.

Optimus didn't mind seeing you, he had been watching you since he meeting your little sparkle, but only to protect you of course. And usually at this time there is no more light in your home otherwise he would never have come near your home.

But now with a wounded Bumblebee, and no other protection he wasn't sure if you were a bad person or not, you were armed after all.

He didn't know how to act, should he talk to you or say nothing? The only thing he was sure of was that not a single bolt in his body moving. And you, damn it, you didn’t move more than an inch either.

the gun is held tightly in your hands trembling from the cold and the fear.

Your eyes were fixed on his glowing blue orbs until movement behind him caught your attention. The yellow bot was starting to lose consciousness due to his loss of blood. The larger robot turned towards him and tried as hard as he could to stop the bleeding while keeping his eyes on you.

Seeing what is happening in front of you, you remembered what he had done for your son, so taking a deep breath you gently placed the gun on the ground and began to walk towards it.

-My son, talk my about this day. In fact he doesn't stop talking about this day. Your laugh caught the attention of Bumblebee who hadn't even noticed you were walking towards him.

-He told me that you saved him from a fall, no? The cliff north of my house, the one overlooking the lake?

Now with the two of them looking at you closely and this close to the yellow robot you can see his wound, a hole on his cables. It looks quite serious, as a strange substance is coming out of the place in big quantities.

The big blue had all his attention on you again. -Yes, it was me. His serious and deep tone made all your body vibrate with fear? no, with surprise? You don't even know how you feel about yourself at the moment.

So, as a normal and intelligent person, your first action was to take off your shirt and place it as delicately as you can at the level of the hole and putting pressure on it. Then in a sure and calm voice you reassured them.

-So it's my turn to help your family now, Mr. Truck, everything will be fine.

[tuxebo]

when water meets wine. | (pjackson)

the blessing of hera includes violet eyes and slightly elongated hair, which is easy to miss. also sensing emotions and using feathers as weapons aren't really useful to any capacity, neither is a blessing in marriage for a thirteen year old, the real blessing of hera comes in the goddess's intentions.

now, i'm not saying hera is a good person, far from it, but it's never bad to be a powerful person's favorite. from putting leo in a fire as a baby to tampering with percy and jason's memories and making them switch places, what if she did a little more.

being a child of one of hera's friends was the easy part, receiving the blessing was not. various challenges since the day you were born, think leo but worse. your father has found you rolled up in a hallowed out cabbage of lettuce in his green house, as if you grew from the seed; bundled in a blanket stuffed with atropa belladonna, the plant made you (an infant) fly for days much to your father's dismay. might i note, he couldn't take care of the sores you got because you were in the air.

none of this was normal. all of this only had one possible culprit, your mother. their poor relationship only grew more strained, her visits were nothing more than a screaming match. of course, there was another woman there to comfort you, someone you never told your dad about. you ran to her like a sheep to its shepherd, not realizing you were running to the very root of your problems. she was the dirty water to your seed, no good but water no less. her hands ran down your hair with a gentle smile, eyes boring into you with intentions you could never quite place.

when you got to camp, she disappeared. it was so strange, you began to believe it was all something you made up in your head to deal with the nightmares, until zeus pisses hera off yet agan.

before your mother even claimed you, you were invited to stay in hera's cabin — by the goddess of marriage herself. in hindsight, she probably might have killed you if you took up that offer. in other words, you denied it but did get punished for it once more. a child of demeter who killed everything they touched, how fitting.

furthermore, to be tasked as one of percy's peer mentors? a mockery.

blessed by hera and punished by her as well, you saw the world through violet eyes.

coincidently, the only thing percy jackson could remember were violet eyes. he thought those might've been his eyes, though his reflection told him that wasn't the case. no one had violet eyes but you, hera made sure of that. she knew the son of poseidon would stop at nothing to find that exact shade, even if he had no clue who you were (at least right now.) if there was someone, however, she paid off the mist to change the color when percy saw them.

when hera placed him in camp jupiter, everywhere he searched for those eyes. he became praetor, wanting to get an eagle's eye view to hopefully spot them. the closest he got to finding you was when he ran into aphrodite, the goddess with violet eyes. there was no way the only person he could think of, though, definitely not after talking to her.

when he was at camp, you taught him many things. even if he couldn't remember, plants came easy to him, which ones to steer clear of and which ones would give him exactly what he needed. you, daughter of a forester who was a former biochemist, taught him all this and it came to percy very naturally.

you were one of the demigods sent to retrieve percy, from camp jupiter. your (peer) metorship with percy earned you a spot on the argo ii, also hera but whatever.

once you were standing before the long line of curious roman demigods, and percy jackson, a gush of water pushes you forward and interrupts any thought you might have had. you were pushed into the son of poseidon's arms, much to everyone's (except hera's) confusion.

there must've been a dryer way he could've done that, at least.

[greatbigbellies]

The McPreggo Menu (6/09/24 update)

While I by no means came up with the McPreggo concept, I am a very big fan of it, so I wrote up a hypothetical menu for fun! This menu got a surprising amount of attention and I received a bunch of suggestions for future items. So here, I’ve implemented more of them and given the menu another content update! I tried to fit as many ideas as I could, but if I missed yours, send another anon and I’ll work it in next time! Full menu under the cut!

Every item can be ordered individually or in a combo! Numbered combos come with your choice of a side, and a drink! Different sides have different effects, try them all! [Items suggested anonymously have a ~ with a link to their originating ask]

#1 The McPreggo Burger

The original filler-upper! Carry a singleton in minutes with this mouth watering single quarter pound patty cheeseburger, with tomatoes, lettuce, diced onion, pickles, and your choice of sauces!

#2 The Twinner

Twice as filling, twice as heavy, go full term with twins with TWO quarter pound patties, with cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, diced onion, pickles, and your choice of sauces!

#3 The Triple Stack

Sensing a pattern? Go big with triplets, with three whole quarter pound patties (That’s 12 oz of meat!) with cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, diced onion, pickles, and your choice of sauces! (Warning, Doctor’s note required for purchase)

#4 The Breaded Babymaker

A mouth watering crispy chicken sandwich topped with lettuce and mayo, on a sesame seed bun! 50/50 odds for a singleton or twins!

#5 The Labor-Inducer

Well… not QUITE real labor, but this breaded chicken sandwich packs a spicy kick with pepper sauce, knocks you up with one, and causes regular braxton-hicks for the duration of the food-induced pregnancy! Those those who enjoy a more intense experience!

#6 The Twinner Chicken Dinner

Three breaded and fried chicken strips, worth a trimester each! Each strip takes you up one trimester with twins, with each basket linked to a set of twins, so no fear going overdue by eating more than one serving! 

#7 The Fish Filet Sandwich~

A tasty fish filet with light breading, with cheese and tartar sauce! Induces a singleton pregnancy with safe-but-noticeable polyhydramnios, giving extra amniotic fluid!

#8 The Quad Pod

A meal for the truly brave, comes with a double cheeseburger (The Twinner) and three chicken strips (The Twinner Chicken Dinner) to land you full of quadruplets at 40 weeks if fully consumed! (Warning, Doctor’s note required for purchase)

#9 The Family Feast Not a feast for a family, but a feast to help you MAKE one! A Triple Stack, A Breaded Babywaker, and a Twinner Chicken Dinner, to land you full of 6-7 babies, all at full term! Not for the feint of heart! (Warning, Doctor’s note and signed waiver required for purchase)

The Preggo Pizza (suggested by @mybigbellyluvrz) A new way to enjoy a McPreggo food induced pregnancy, and a great way to share the experience with friends! Each slice will induce a quantum pregnancy at 20 weeks along, with a second slice bringing it to term. Odd slices add additional babies, and even slices bring them to term. Pairs well with mozzarella sticks with marinara for a nice long Italian-food-centric impregnation session! Toppings give additional effects which increase in strength with more slices eaten! Enjoy a pregnant pizza party, or indulge yourself with high order multiples for one!

Pepperoni - +5% movement per slice

Sausage - +4% weight per slice

Canadian bacon - +4% belly width per slice

Bbq chicken - +10% stretchmark visibility per slice

Pineapple - +15% stronger cravings per slice

Peppers - +5% belly length per slice

Olives - +7.5% amniotic fluid per slice

Mushrooms - 3% lower belly per slice

Extra cheese - +5% thicker thighs, hips, and ass per slice

Breakfast (ALL DAY!)

Hash Brown

Crispy outside, soft potato-y inside. Warm morning goodness! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will make a belly drop as if full term and close to birth! 

Ready-To-Pop Tarts~ 

Our most versatile product, each Ready-To-Pop Tart is named after the quantum baby it induces, and results in a 1-to-1 pregnancy experience as if you were carrying that baby at full term! Each name has its effects listed on the box, such as extra size, carrying low, specific cravings, and so on! Mix and match to carry multiples and craft your perfect pregnancy! Or, try a mystery unlabeled one and see who YOU get pregnant with!

Each location has a unique selection, but here are some of our franchise-wide staples~:

Percy

Carry low and wide with extra baby weight, belly width, and a dropped baby! You’ll want to unbutton pants if you’re wearing them…

Hilda

Enjoy some asymmetry with a pronounced, lopsided torpedo belly! 50/50 odds if she picks left or right, but she’ll stick to it for the whole ordeal!

Adair

Clear your pantry with cravings for sweet and salty flavors, increased taste sensation, and extra movement to enjoy while eating!

Kayla

Stretch your skin to the limit with polyhydramnios, extra baby weight, extra stretchmarks, and extra veins for good measure! Be the waddling definition of “drum tight”!

Sausage Egg Muffin

A toasted english muffin housing a breakfast sausage patty, and a folded scrambled egg! A morning classic! If eaten before other McPreggo products, will delay the onset of those products by 1 hour per breakfast sandwich. Additional sandwiches will increase the duration of the delay. Delay timer begins after full consumption of the breakfast sandwich.

Bacon Egg Griddle

Crispy strips of bacon, folded scrambled egg, between two delicious maple flavored griddles! If eaten before other McPreggo products, will cause effects of those products to onset over time instead of instantly. Each sandwich consumed causes effects to onset over the course of 30 minutes, with additional griddles slowing the onset further. Cannot slow an onset to be longer than the base pregnancy duration.

The Baby Burrito

A breakfast burrito for those who are early-risers, this morning meal has scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, melted cheese, and tater tots, wrapped in a warm flour tortilla. Gives you a singleton at 20 weeks along!

SPECIAL LIMITED TIME ITEMS

These items are only available for small windows of time, and don't interact with our other products due to their unique nature. They’re a big commitment, but provide a very genuine experience. For customers looking for something that takes more dedication than a standard combo meal.

The McCrib~

A special BBQ rib sandwich, only available during the first month of even numbered years. Slow cooked rib meat slathered in BBQ sauce, the McCrib answers the question of “what if humans could properly fully develop in the womb, rather than being born at just 9 months?”. Comparative to most other species, humans give birth very prematurely so that the baby can be safely delivered. McPreggo quantum babies aren’t ever birthed, allowing us to see what life would be like otherwise. Upon consuming a full McCrib, the customer starts on a 21 month pregnancy, spanning 7 trimesters, and allowing the quantum baby to grow to the size and weight of a one year old, with all the challenges and experiences that come with that. A slow burn experience, this pregnancy will include increased weight, size, and strength of the baby inside, finally reaching its apex after almost 2 years of uninterrupted pregnancy. It should be noted that McCrib pregnancies do not stack with each other, so only a singleton may be carried for 21 months. However, other McPreggo products will still function independently, meaning that additional temporary babies may be added, though baby altering effects from items such as the chicken nuggets, will have no effect on the McCrib baby.

The Beastly Burger

An extra large McPreggo burger stacked high with toppings, slathered in a unique “Monster Sauce”, and only sold annually during october. Initiates a 9 month long “anomalous pregnancy”, where the eater becomes pregnant with a mysterious, monstrous entity! Featuring many mouths, eyes, tentacles, and other fun additions that can be felt on the inner walls of the womb! Squirmy and active, it’ll make for a highly engaging and invigorating pregnancy! Will not interact with other McPreggo products, though they can be enjoyed in tandem. (Warning: unusual belly blemishes and strange cravings may occur)

The Festive Feast (Concept By @caitdrawsstuff2)

A unique seasonal item, sold annually during the month of december! A platter of roasted ham, sides of green beans, mashed potatoes, stuffing (with cranberry sauce), a warm roll, and a tall glass of sparkling apple cider (available in a limited time McPreggo branded reusable holiday cup)! Upon completion, initiates a singleton pregnancy which, for the next 12 days, every 24 hours, adds another baby to the consumer’s womb, resulting in full sized DUODECAPLETS by the end. If carrying twelve babies at once wasn’t enough, beginning with the first baby and repeating with each addition, the pregnancy will also incur one of 12 effects. The order of these effects is completely random, meaning only extraordinary lucky patrons will experience the same Festive Feast pregnancy twice.

The possible effects include: +15% extra baby weight, +20% stronger baby activity, +35% brighter stretchmark visibility, +12.5% additional belly length, +12.5% additional belly width, +75% craving and appetite strength, noticeable polyhydramnios, +25% vein visibility, +25% belly skin sensitivity, +12.5% hip width, Popped bellybutton, and 35% darker linea nigra. Effects cannot repeat during a single Festive Feast pregnancy. Will fully stack effects with other McPreggo products, but will continue to progress even after other items wear off. Whole Festive Feasts cannot stack. Festive Feasts are also sold frozen upon request, allowing them to be taken and enjoyed at home! It’s the gift that keeps on giving!

Sides

Fries

Crispy, salty yukon gold fries! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will make a belly lower and longer, resulting in a torpedo belly! Watch where you point that thing! (Small: +5% belly length, Medium: +7.5% belly length, Large: +10% belly length. Belly height will vary. Percentages are approximate.)

Tater Tots

Crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will make a belly wider at the sides, resulting in a beach ball belly. Look pregnant from behind too! (Small: +5% belly width, Medium: +7.5% belly width, Large: +10% belly width. Roundness will vary. Percentages are approximate.)

Onion Rings

Ring segments of onion, battered and fried! What’s not to love? If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will make a belly’s skin a little tighter, resulting in more stretchmarks and visible veins! Look at those tiger stripes! (Small: +15% stretchmark visibility, Medium: +25% stretchmark visibility, Large: +35% stretchmark visibility. Percentages are approximate.)

Mozzarella Sticks

Breaded and deep fried sticks of mozzarella cheese! Warm and soft, with a great cheese pull! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will extend the effects of an active food-based pregnancy by 90 minutes per stick eaten! Comes in a 4 piece, 6 piece, or 8 piece!

Fried Pickle Chips

A staple with pregnant people, breaded slices of pickle, salted and fried to perfection. If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase the strength of pregnancy cravings when consumed! (Small: +20% craving strength, Medium: +40% craving strength, Large: +60% craving strength. Percentages are approximate.)

Chicken Nuggets~

A staple, back and heavier than ever! A 6 piece nugget with your choice of dipping sauce! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase the weight of babies by 2% per nugget! Careful! That adds up faster than you’d expect!

Spicy Chicken Nuggets

Made with a breading that brings the heat, rile up your cargo with this delicious side! A 6 piece spicy nugget comes with your choice of dipping sauce! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase the activity and energy of quantum babies by 4% per nugget!

Curly Fries~

Perfect for the pregnant patron who wants to show off! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will Increase the interactivity and responsiveness of the quantum babies to external pressure. A small grants a moderate increase, medium a considerable amount, and large an intense increase! Perfect for filming baby kicking videos or entertaining a handsy partner!

Chili Cheese Fries~ 

Enjoy a platter of chili covered fries, topped with melted cheese! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will induce light bloating and gassiness, which may cause increased burping.

Sweet Potato Fries~

Bright orange and delightfully sweet! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause the consumer to become sleepy and potentially nap prone, perfect for winding down after a long day of pregnancy. A small helps the consumer relax, a medium makes them nap prone, and a large will make them very sleepy! (Do not operate a motor vehicle while or shortly after consuming)

Side Salad (Suggested by @zaloog81)

A classic salad that gives you a healthy boost! A small salad that goes with any of our fine salad dressings (see dips, dressings, and sauces). If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase energy and lower fatigue of the eater by a noticeable amount! Combo with your favorite dressing to specialize for your next activity!

Hand Mixed Sodas!

Our Hand Mixed Sodas are made with a carbonated base, and are customizable with shots of flavor, each with their own effects! Combine your favorites for a delightful, refreshing augmentation to your pregnancy experience!

Cherry

A summertime classic with all the Red No. 40 you know and love!  If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will darken the visible linea nigra line on the belly by 20% per shot of flavoring!

Mango

Tangy, tropical, and uniquely sweet!  If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause stretchmarks to spread of places other than the belly, traveling across the hips, thighs, and arms too! More shots means more coverage!

Grape

The classic artificial cough syrup variety you grew up with, now with a twist!  If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase blood flow to belly skin, giving it extra visible “blush”. Increases belly blush by 25% per shot.

Orange

Unique and refreshing, goes with most other tropical fruits!  If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause the belly to glow with a safe, heatless light from within! Starts with a soft glow and grows brighter with more shots, though will never go above that of a laval lamp. Use Pineapple, Peach, and Blue Raspberry shots to color the glow!

Pineapple

Includes that tingling sensation from the pineapple enzymes eating you back!  If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will tint any glow effects from the orange syrup a bright yellow color! 3 shots reaches full color saturation.

Peach

Ripe and juicy, tastes like it’s straight form Georgia!  If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will tint any glow effects from the orange syrup a vibrant red color! 3 shots reaches full color saturation.

Blue Raspberry

Why is it blue? Who cares? Still tastes great!  If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will tint any glow effects from the orange syrup a cool blue color! 3 shots reaches full color saturation.

Lemonade

Tart opener with a sweet finish, and pairs with pretty much every other option! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase belly skin sensitivity to touch by 20% per shot. 

Lemon/Lime~

Citrusy and a little sour! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will simulate the sensation of hiccups from your quantum babies with increasing strength per shot.

Dips, Dressings, and Sauces!

Caesar Salad Dressing

A mix of dijon mustard, lemon juice, and worcestershire sauce perfect for anyone craving a classic caesar salad! If drizzled over a McPreggo side salad and eaten, will increase nesting drive by 40% for the duration of the McPreggo pregnancy. The energy given by the salad will be put toward this nesting instinct.

Tangy Vinaigrette

An old favorite with a bite, this vinaigrette goes great on our side salad! If drizzled over a McPreggo side salad and eaten, will increase joint flexibility and ease of movement by a noticeable amount. Make your maternity yoga class a breeze with our lovely dressing!

Thousand Island Dressing

An american classic, thousand island is a great topper to our side salad. If drizzled over a McPreggo side salad and eaten, will increase sense of smell and taste substantially, making your craving foods taste even better!

Ranch Dressing

Classic thick, creamy ranch, good for nuggets and salads alike! When combined with any McPreggo food, will increase the visibility of veins on the belly by 60%!

Marinara Sauce

Take the routine out of your usual McPreggo order with out tomato-y marinara sauce! When eaten with our mozzarella sticks, will increase the duration of the pregnancy by a random amount, varying from 10-40%! 

BBQ sauce

Tangy and a little sweet, our BBQ sauce can’t be beat! If pregnant with a McPreggo product and fully aware of this sauce’s effects before eating, will induce a slightly hazy, forgetful “pregnancy brain” sensation for the duration of the food pregnancy! 

Fry sauce

A thick fry sauce for an even thicker patron! Enjoy this northwestern classic and round out a little! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause thighs and buttocks to grow visibly thicker, with increasing effects the more is eaten.

Ketchup

We don’t need to pitch ketchup to you. It’s ketchup. You know you like it. If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will shift the distribution of babies within the womb to make it visibly lopsided. Will never push babies into an unsafe or painful position for either party.

Mustard~

Classic yellow mustard with a tummy-altering twist! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will shift the distribution of babies within the womb to make it visibly oblong, causing a tummy that’s considerably wider than it is “tall”. Will never push babies into an unsafe or painful position for either party.

Hot Mustard (Concept By @wannabemumma)

A familiar favorite with heat that sneaks up on you! If eaten with a McPreggo Product, will hasten the onset of the effect of that food item, reducing the growth or change duration by about 90%! (Takes the usual 45 second duration down to just under 5!) Really put the rapid back in rapid pregnancy!

Honey Mustard (Concept By @wannabemumma)

A sweeter version of an old favorite! If eaten with a McPreggo product, will cause the effects to onset more slowly, over approximately 5 minutes. Stacks additively with other onset-lengthening effects

Smoothies and Frozen Drinks

Tropical Mist Smoothie

Featuring peach, guava, and passionfruit, this tropical smoothie makes you feel like you just spent an afternoon on the beach! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will give the drinker the visual effects of healthy sun exposure, with no UV ray-based downsides! Enjoy a subtle tan and occasional freckles! Visual effects will be most strongly concentrated on the midriff.

Strawberry Smoothie

Elegant in its simplicity, the Strawberry Smoothie tastes exactly how it says on the tin! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will soften the skin by a noticeable degree, lasting until the end of the quantum pregnancy. Effect will be most noticeable on the midriff.

Pineapple Mango Smoothie 

A tangy and refreshing combo, complete with the enzymes that eat you back! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause tightening of the womb and ab muscles. Not enough to feel like a contraction to the drinker, but will “pull in” and tighten the belly, as well as make it considerably more firm to the touch. A great middle ground between being in the third trimester, and experiencing braxton hicks.

Acai Blueberry Smoothie

Both tasty and health conscious! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will shift the womb up, allowing the drinker to carry higher. May cause mild chest tightness from the internal shifting, but will never reach a level that is alarmingly uncomfortable or dangerous.

Kale Smoothie

Get your daily greens in smoothie form! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause cravings for veggies, legumes, grains, and other foliage. Is a great start to one of our salads!

Mixed Berry Smoothie

Enjoy a mix of strawberry, blueberry, raspberry, AND blackberry, all in one vitamin C packed cup! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause cravings for fruit of all varieties.

Dragonfruit Smoothie

A mix of dragonfruit with some supporting orange and mango, this pink drink is makes a fantastic pairing with any of our entrees. If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause cravings for proteins, animal or plant based, meaning vegetarians can enjoy its effects too!

Carmel Frappe Decaf (induce dessert cravings)

A sweet carmel opening with a bitter coffee finish, without any caffeine for safe pregnant consumption! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause cravings for sweets, with particular preference for baked goods and ice creams! A fantastic combo drink if you plan to stay for dessert.

Desserts

Chocolate Chip Cookie~

A classic treat with a cute twist! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cycle through belly button types, with each cookie going to the next one in the cycle. Starts with an innie, then pops into an outie, then flattens out as though your navel was too stretched to even pop! If stretched, the next cookie reverts you back to an innie!

Ice Cream Sundae

Comes in hot fudge or carmel! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will lower the visibility of blemishes like stretchmarks or visible veins, resulting in a smoother, softer skinned tummy!

Ice Cream Sandwich

A classic straight from the ice cream truck! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will relieve back pain and contractions brought on by late-stage food-based pregnancy!

McBlendie

Cool, creamy soft serve blended with your choice of twix or reeses peanut butter cups! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will reset all other side and desert item effects. Will not hasten a McPreggo food pregnancy!

Milkshakes!~

Cookies and Crème

A thick and creamy milkshake that’s loaded with blended chocolate cookie bits! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase milk production and potentially even breast size! (Small: +100% milk production, Medium: +175% milk production, Large: +250% milk production. Percentages are approximate, breast size increase will vary)

Apple Pie Delight

A whole slice of apple pie dumped right into our vanilla milkshake mix and blended until thick! It still counts as A La Mode, right? If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase sex drive in those who drink it and are fully aware of its effects before consuming. (Small: +75% libido, Medium: +125% libido, Large: +175% libido. Percentages are approximate and based on starting sex drive. Does not function without awareness)

Maternal Marionberry

Oregon marionberries, in a milkshake, served so thick you probably need a spoon. Need we say more? If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will widen and soften hips, and give you that pregnancy glow! (Small: +5% hip width, Medium: +7.5% hip width, Large: +10% hip width. Percentages are approximate)

Marshmallow Plush

A McPreggo specialty, a delightful blend of marshmallow cream with cool vanilla makes for a surprisingly heavy drink! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, soften the exterior of a pregnant belly, making you plush and plump! (Small: +15% belly fat, Medium: +25% belly fat, Large: +35% belly fat. Percentages are approximate)

At McPreggo, we strive to create a genuinely enjoyable dining experience, with a special twist! Our food has the unique, distinct, and trademarked ability to create a simulated pregnancy in anyone who eats it! Combine any number of pregnancy-inducing entrees with pregnancy affecting sides and desserts, and you can custom tailor your McPreggo experience to exactly your desires! Experience anything from a singleton to a septuplet pregnancy with our professionally prepared meals, and shape your belly and pregnancy experience however you wish. As a subsidiary of Quantum Yum LLC, we guarantee our food and quantem-multiversal pregnancies are safe, ethically sourced, and best of all, enjoyable!

Please note that pregnancies from our food will never result in labor and will revert after 6 hours. However, a pregnancy is still a pregnancy, so expect back pain, swelling, internal movement, and cravings, among other side effects, from our meals. We hope you enjoy your food and have a fun and safe time trying out pregnancy! Sincerely, the R&D team at Quantum Yum LLC.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Oh… you’re still reading? You must be here for the secret menu then…

I won’t be coy or keep you waiting, you’ve been patient enough. ;)

The McPreggo Secret Menu

Overdue Strip Basket

A logical extension of an existing menu item, enjoy a 4 or 5 piece chicken basket with your choice of sauce! When ordered off of the secret menu, the twins continue to grow at a rate of 1 trimester per strip, meaning a basket will land you with twins in their 4th or 5th trimester based on the size you ordered. Enjoy carrying twins at multiple months overdue!

The Octomom ~

Simple but effective, an 8 patty burger (that’s 2 lbs of meat) with all the usual fixings. A slog to eat, a joy to carry. Nadya Suleman walked so we could waddle. 

Carnivore’s Craving (Suggested by @wannabemumma)

Every meat on the lunch menu, on one gargantuan sandwich, granting one gargantuan pregnancy! Comes topped with fry sauce drizzle (yes, the stuff that makes your thighs and ass thicker), and an optional free small Marshmallow plush shake!

The sandwich in question includes: 1 beef patty, 1 chicken patty, 1 fish patty, 2 chicken strips, 2 chicken nuggets, and 2 spicy nuggets. This, when fully consumed, grants the consumer either full term triplets or quadruplets (50/50 odds), second trimester twins, with all babies 4% heavier and 8% more active, with polyhydramnios to top it off. Meatlovers, eat your heart out!

Maternal Masochist

For customers who want to push their pregnancy toward a more intense route, enjoy a Labor Inducer with spicy nuggets and ketchup, to get pregnant with one, enjoy strong braxton hicks contractions with an active baby, who’s also lopsided in your belly. About as uncomfortable as it gets, add additional quantum babies at your own risk.

“Has Pregnancy Increased Your Sex Drive?”

Includes a Baby Burrito, side salad with vinaigrette, triple-shot lemonade soda, and large apple pie delight! Get just pregnant enough to reap the effects. The side salad gives energy while the vinaigrette gives flexibility, the lemonade soda makes belly more sensitive, and the apple pie delight ramps up sex drive. Pair with other entrees for more belly, or mozz sticks for more longevity.

The Bottomless Belly

Includes a McPreggo single burger with a large side of fried pickle chips, with thousand island dressing for dipping. Pushes cravings into overdrive, making anything taste good. Go home and polish off every leftover in the house. Enjoy the food coma!

Model Mommy

Enjoy a Triple stack, with onion rings on the burger, cherry mango grape soda, and tater tots and ranch dressing on the side! All of the possible markings, stretch marks spread everywhere, veins, blush, linea nigra, and an extra wide triplet belly to display it all on! The ideal tummy for a pre-pregnancy try on challenge!

Gravid Gambler

Chicken nuggets, slathered in bbq sauce, with 2 Breaded babymaker patties as buns, with a side of mozz sticks, and marinara sauce! Roll the dice on twins to quads, add random extra duration, and throw in extra weight and some forgetfulness to keep it interesting!

Extra Thicc!

Enjoy a Twinner, 2 large tots with fry sauce, and an exclusive Marionberry Marshmallow Milkshake! Go for twins, go wide with the belly, then enjoy wide hips, soft ass, thick thighs, and squishy tummy. Be the pregnant cuddle buddy your friends deserve!

Sisters From Different Misters Sandwich~

Like the Land, Sea, and Air from an unnamed competitor, but with a pregnant twist! Enjoy a double burger, a chicken sandwich patty, and a fish filet all the same sandwich. End up with, 4-5 babies, with a garnish of polyhydramnios to boot!

[whimsicalwritingsandmore]

Valentine's Series #3: Matching | yunho x reader

Pairing: jeong yunho x reader

Genre: fluff, romance

Summary: Yunho loves to be your personal stylist of sorts.

Word count: 659 words

Yunho loves to watch you style different outfits and piece them together into a look that uniquely suits you.

Especially when the two of you would go out together, he enjoys being your personal stylist of sorts and helping you put together the outfit of the day or night. Because he knew how much you loved tailoring your attire to match the events of the day.

Whether it was business casual, girly or simply laidback, he would find the time to join you on the couch and watch and advise on the pieces you chose. If he wasn’t able to, he’d either video call you or have you send pictures to him.

No doubt, Yunho was always very helpful and good at what he did.

Because for Yunho, he loved to admire you when you were in your element. From your pretty little short skirt that graced your silhouette, to either your flowy and luxurious silk dress that flattered your figure or the little hot off-the-shoulder number that you would pair sometimes with edgy ripped jeans or leggings or joggers - he adored you in all of them.

He delighted in your flair for the spectacular because no matter what you wore, you would always make a statement, and he relished and savoured being the one who got to be a part of it, and walk beside you either hand-in-hand or with his arm thrown over your shoulder on the street.

The way you would either let your hair down or tie it up in a high ponytail and let some strands fall in your face, he felt his heart beginning to do somersaults and his ears and face would turn slightly red from blushing so hard.

It was these moments that made Yunho realise he's in love with you. He hadn't told you that yet but knew that he had to soon and was hoping to on Valentine's Day. 

You both settled for a night out in the street market to celebrate because there was this one shop that served the most mouth-watering and savoury dumplings and noodle bowls you ever had.

So the look for tonight was laidback, warm (because of the chilliness) and a little fashionable. 

But Yunho had a little something up his sleeve. When he arrived, he was ready to help but first, he had to give you his gift.

"Try it." He suggested.

Walking into your room and opening the present revealed a stylish little light-brown number of corduroy cargo pants that accentuated your waist, paired with a charming white semi-crop top with a lettuce hem and an oversize coat.

It was the most stylish and expensive ensemble you ever wore! However, the look felt familiar. Running on a hunch, you took to google. And your hunch was right, you realised Yunho had dressed like this similarly a while before.

He found an outfit for you that matched one of his.

On the drive to the other side of town, you contemplated how to bring it up to him. You didn’t want to sound ungrateful, it was far from that. You were just pleasantly surprised by such a gesture. It made you feel a little woozy and giddy, at the way Yunho cared about you and the amount of thought he had put into his gift.

Finally, at the entrance to the market, you brought it up to him as you both were about to enter. He giggled and blushed, and played with your fingers in his hand before admitting.

"I did it,” he began, “Because I love you."

Registering what he just said, you looked at him dumbfounded and speechless, unable to form a coherent sentence which he mused about and found adorable. He patted your head as a gesture of comfort on his part, before pressing a sweet and meaningful kiss to your cheek.

"You heard me." He giggled again before dragging your still astounded figure along with him towards the market.

[ryuyejiho]

"On your knees" - Wooyoung

Pairing: Wooyoung X Reader

Genre: Smut

Warnings: 18+, Smut

Summary: Don't disturb the cook in the kitchen because it may end badly.

Word Count: ~1.2K

________________________________

"Would you be willing to kindly bring me flour from the pantry?"

"'Kindly? I help you all the time," I spoke up indignantly, but I wanted to laugh at how quickly he was getting annoyed

"You don't help. You just sit and comment on what I'm doing wrong" he threw the spoon into the sink and made an offended face, specifically looking at me so I could see how unhappy he was.

"Okay, okay, I'll get it. Jeez," with a heaviness I got up and headed for the pantry. After a few minutes I was back.

"When can we eat?" I asked, placing the bag of flour on a chair.

"Then when it's ready. It would be faster if you helped me," he turned around and put the flour in a cup.

"Well, what should I do?"

"Cut up that cucumber, tomato, lettuce and kimchi. Open all the cans of corn, beans and peas and pour the water out of them. Add to a bowl and mix. Later... I'll think of something for you," I rolled my eyes and took a knife in my hand. I sliced the cucumber but quickly got bored so I put the knife down and walked closer to him and hugged his back.

"Wooyoungie, honey, darling," I mumbled but he gave no response. Finally, I moved away from him and squeezed between him and the countertop, facing him. I grabbed his cheeks and squeezed so that his lips made a pout.

"Aaaah, stop, don't bother!" he exclaimed but couldn't hide his smile.

"I'm bored, can't we order take-out and do something else for this time?" I tried to convince him in a charming voice.

"No," he replied shortly and continued stirring something in the bowl while looking over my shoulder. I knew it wouldn't do anything and he was too adamant so standing on tiptoe I moved closer to his neck which I started kissing. At first he whined that I shouldn't disturb him, but I knew how much he liked it.

"Come on, I know you want to do something else now," I whispered in his ear at which his muscles tensed but he shook his head.

"If you want to eat fast then step back and don't bother me," he moved away from me standing by the induction cooker.

" I want to eat ... you," I said looking at him. He pulled his eyebrows together and gripped the countertop tighter. "We can finish later. So please..."

"Do you want to eat me?" he spoke up in a low voice quickly walking up to me, grabbed my hips and pressed me against the countertop.

"Yes..." I whispered. I honestly didn't expect such a sudden reaction but I won't complain.

""Then on your knees," he said it as if he was giving me an order, nodding his head in a gesture of demonstration.

I had to give myself a moment to understand what was happening, he grabbed the side of my neck and brought his face closer to mine. Repeating the same words, he began to push me down. I smiled and crouched down, immediately pulling down his sweatpants. I licked my lips as I saw his cock in front of me which was getting harder and harder. Without waiting a moment longer, I took it in my hand and put it in my mouth. He let out a loud hiss and clamped his fingers firmly on my head.

After a few minutes of sucking him lazily I wanted to pull him out but he prevented me from doing so, pushing my head to his hips. I started to choke but somehow it didn't particularly seem to bother me, to be honest I was starting to get used to it.

I guess Wooyoung's biggest fetish was choking, and he showed it more than once, once in a more drastic way and once in a less drastic way.

He pulled his cock out of my mouth for me to breathe but immediately put it in again, this time he was the one setting the pace. He was literally fucking my throat, I could feel the tip of his cock hitting the back of my throat and the pressure of his fingers on my head getting harder with each thrust.

I lifted my gaze and looked at him, he was looking at me with his lips parted from which fairly loud moans were pouring out, his hips moving back and forth. He moved his fingers of one hand to my cheek and held my hair tightly with his other hand.

I knew he was quite close to orgasm, his movements getting stronger, faster and sometimes careless with each passing minute. Whenever he was close nothing could stop him, always with only the goal in his mind to feel blissful as soon as possible. Of course, this doesn't mean that he doesn't pay attention to anything else but himself, he always does everything so that we can enjoy an orgasm together at the same time.

And when we were in a one-sided situation, like this one now, he always returned the favor. That's why I knew that the better I did him good, the better reward I would get.

"Is that what you wanted? Did you want to feel my cock in your mouth? Did you want to feel my cum?" I was unable to answer so I only muttered. But he suddenly stopped his movements and pulled his cock out of my mouth " Then you'll get it somewhere else".

He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me upwards immediately turning me around with my back to him. He pushed me impently onto the countertop and lifted one leg putting my knee on the countertop. I was uncomfortable, the edge of the countertop pressing into my hip. But when he pounded into me with his cock all those thoughts went away. All I could think about now was how good he felt inside me. How good he was fucking me.

He spanked my buttocks from time to time, pressing my body against the kitchen counter with his other hand. Because of his hard strokes into me, my body kept bouncing on the furniture. The entire kitchen was filled with the sounds of our bodies hitting each other, the banging of the cabinet door below me and the containers and bottles sliding around my head.

Our moans were getting louder, Wooyoung's thrusts were getting sloppier and not as rhythmic as before. He pounded faster and harder which brought me momentarily to orgasm. I felt through the overstimulation squirt on his thighs, moments after that he put his fingers on my clit and started rubbing it as fast as if his life depended on it.

Feeling all this pleasure and feeling his cum spill deep inside me, I came again squirting so much that his thigh was all wet and a small puddle formed on the floor between our legs.

He gave me one last spank and came out of me. When most of his cum had flowed out of me and was now dripping between my thighs, I stood up straight to kiss him. But he moved away and, smiling ominously, said " You think it's over? Go to the bedroom."

[pathologicalreid]

hii<33 could you do fluff with fem! reader having a silent anxiety attack with spencer? the only thing that calms her down is physical touch, but also uses medical marijuana if you are comfortable with that? so spencer brings her medicine to her, and then just lots of cuddles and conversation about what’s going on?

thank u!!

modern medicine | S.R.

in which spencer helps you calm down after an anxiety attack

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: fluff (a little hurt/comfort) content warnings: anxiety/anxiety attack, non-descript trauma, medical marijuana word count: 919 a/n: anon i will be so real with you weed just gives me to zoomies i have never been calmed down by the devils lettuce so i was winging it here. thank you for your request!!

The air was cool, the slight breeze gently brushing across your arms as you sat on the deck. You tried to catch your breath, listening to the rustling of the leaves in your backyard. This was your safe space, the backyard of your house, far enough from the city so you could see stars, but close enough to the city so that you didn’t feel detached from civilization.

This was your safe space when you felt unsafe inside.

Your phone was next to you, it had buzzed a few times, but you were afraid that if you stopped holding your legs to your chest, you would lose control.

Slowly, the sliding door behind you squealed on its track.

“Oh, honey,” Spencer whispered, coming around the couch you were sitting on and taking a seat next to you. It wasn’t until you flinched that he knew everything that was going on.

For just a moment, Spencer got up and disappeared into the house before coming back, closing the screen door instead of the glass slider this time. Slowly, he sat down next to you, his movements weren’t hesitant, they were tender.

Gently, Spencer put his arm around you, placing one hand on your waist as if he were testing the waters. In response, you leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder, but not releasing your legs from the hold you had on them. “You’re shaking,” he observed quietly, evaluating the situation before holding out your pen.

Medical marijuana was the steepest learning curve you had ever experienced. Your therapist tried traditional medicine, but nothing helped you through your anxiety, everything you tried just numbed you to it. You had never heard of using marijuana for anxiety, only for things like epilepsy and to help people through chemotherapy, never for a psychological disorder.

Luckily, Spencer had heard of it and the two of you spent days discussing it before you finally decided to give it a shot. You thought if nothing else worked, you might as well try.

You still tried to use it sparingly, but it really did help. Not only did the medicine help calm you down, but the use of the pen forced you to control your breathing. Just like now, when you took the pen from Spencer and breathed in, waiting until you could feel it in the back of your throat before blowing the vapors back out. Finally realizing how much you had been shaking.

Gingerly, Spencer moved your arms from around your knees to maneuver your body, so you were lying with your head on his chest.

Closing your eyes, you fiddled with the pen in your hand and focused on the beating of Spencer’s heart. His arms were wrapped around you, holding you tightly to his body. It was then that you realized he had been talking to you, speaking on and on about work, never anything graphic about cases, but about the prank that Morgan played on Emily or about a story JJ told him about Henry.

Just the little things, because not everything is a big thing. “Do you think I’ll ever be the same again?” You asked him quietly.

Spencer took a deep breath, “No, but I don’t want you to be. I want you to be changed, and I don’t want you to pretend like you’re not.”

Sighing, you lifted your head, so you were looking at Spencer. He’s growing out his hair again, soft and unruly.

“My head just feels so busy all of the time,” you whispered, “and sometimes I can pinpoint the problem, but sometimes I get pulled under just by the weight of the world.” Lying your head back down on his shoulder, you sighed and melted into him.

He started gently stroking your hair, smoothing it down the back of your head, “You don’t have to carry the weight of the world all alone, you know. I can share some of that weight with you if it ever comes to be too much.”

But how could you ask that of him when his job already weighed him down so much?

“It’s never too much for me, not when it comes to you,” he murmured into your hair before pressing a gentle kiss to the crown of your head.

You smiled at the fact that he seemed to always know what you were thinking before resting a hand on his chest, tracing hearts over his work clothes. “You and me against the world, Spencer Reid?”

Spencer hummed in response, “You and me against the world, my love.”

It wasn’t instant, you didn’t just feel better because you medicated or because Spencer said the right things, you felt better because you gave yourself the time to feel better.

“You feel better,” Spencer said matter of factly. He wasn’t asking, he was stating it. “Being held can actually activate the parasympathetic nervous system which counteracts the fight-or-flight response and promotes relaxation. There have also been studies that show that hugging can contribute to the regulation of your heart rate and blood pressure. So, by holding you close to me, I can tell that your heart isn’t racing anymore.”

You turned your head and grinned into his neck, “I’m glad you’re home, Spence.”

“I am too, love,” he answered, continuing to rub gentle circles on your back.

Slowly, you sat up and looked down at him, “You look tired, let’s go to sleep.” You got up and offered him your hand, “Tomorrow will be a new day.”

please remember to like, comment, and reblog if you enjoyed!

[adrienneleclerc]

Hello! I don't know if you accept requests but Henry eating for the first time esquites/chaskas/elote in a glass, whatever they tell him in your country because in mine they are called chaskas 😭😭

In Mexico, it’s esquites if it’s in a cup and of course elote if it’s on the cob. I do accept requests! Helps with la falta de imaginación

Something New

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Hispanic/Latina! Reader

Summary: Henry meets Y/N’s parents for the first time and tries traditional Mexican food.

Warning: no translated Spanish, spelling and grammatical errors,

A/N: Im gonna input my childhood, obviously.

Y/N was making lunch her and Henry when she got a phone call.

“Bueno?” Y/N asked, adding pasta into the boiling water.

“Hola hija! Cómo estás?” Her mom asked on the other line. Y/N walks away from the stove.

“Mami, estoy bien, y tú? Por qué me estás llamando?” Y/N asked, walking to the living room and swatted Henry’s shoulder, he looked back confused.

“Estoy bien, hija, gracias por preguntar.” Y/N put her mom on speaker. “Como pascua es este domingo, quiero que vengas con tu noviecito, han estado saliendo por un rato y no le hemos conocido ni nada.” Y/N’s mom said and Y/N’s eyes widened, now Henry was concerned, he might not know a lot of Spanish, but he could tell by his girlfriend’s face, this wasn’t the best news.

“Si mami, claro que voy con mi novio, de verdad quiero que se conozcan.” Y/N said.

“Que bueno, Los veo mañana, chao.” Her mom hung up and Y/N facepalmed her forehead.

“I understood about 20% of that, what’s going on?” Henry asked.

“Fortachón, you’ve got your wish, You’re meeting my parents tomorrow.” Y/N said and Henry’s eyes look,Ike they’re going to pop out of his head.

“Tomorrow? I am not prepared!” Henry exclaimed.

“Well tomorrow is Easter and my mom wants to meet you so…yeah. Knowing her, we’ll have a lot of tias and tíos, some primos already have kids so get ready for Superman questions, fortachón.” Y/N said, patting his shoulder before going back to the kitchen.

Now it was Easter, Henry and Y/N were at her mom’s door, Henry carrying the Mexican rice Y/N made. Y/N rang the doorbell again, the door opened and she was greeted by her cousin Ignacio.

“Nacho! Cómo estás?” Y/N hugged her cousin and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Estoy bien prima, Miguelito esta jugando allá fuera. Pásale, pásale, nice to meet you Henry.” Nacho said, shaking Henry’s free hand, leading them through the house and into the backyard. “Put the rice on the table, mi papá ya está preparando los elotes.”

“Ooh, i haven’t had elotes in a while.” Y/N said.

“What’s elote?” Henry asked.

“You haven’t been making Your gringo any Mexican food? What kind of girlfriend are you?” Nacho said and Y/N swatted his arm.

“I make him Mexican food…he likes tacos, bistec empanado con sopita, quesadillas de papa.” Y/N said.

“Don’t worry, hermano, You’re going to eat really well here.” Nacho puts his arm around Henry’s shoulder as best as he could since Henry is obviously taller than him. Y/N says hello to everyone, introducing them to Henry.

“Okay, primer elote está listo, quien lo quiere?” Nacho’s dad, Hernando, asked. Nacho quickly got up for the elote.

“Okay so elote is corn topped with mayonnaise, cheese, and chili power. It’s really good (I haven’t eaten in, I don’t like corn), you’ll like it.” Y/N said. Henry was sat at the table while Y/N made him a plate of food. “I served you sopes which is tortilla topped with refried black beans, queso cotija, and lettuce because the salas is probably too spicy for you, your elote, a tostado which is the same as a sope but it’s a crunchy tortilla, and tostadas de pulpo because they’re my favorite.”

Henry looked at the plate in front of him. “This is a lot of food, love.”

“Yes but think of it this way, if you don’t like it, I’ll eat it, and very happily too.” Y/N said, kissing him. Henry took a bite of the octopus tostada.

“This is really good.” Henry finished that tostada, moved on to the regular tostada, then the sope, adding a bit of salsa. Then to the elote, best for last. He took a bite, some corn falling off the cob, mayonnaise on the corner of his mouth along with pieces of queso cotija and chili powder. “I think elotes might be my favorite, it’s delicious, muchas gracias, Hernando.”

“No es nada, güerito.” Hernando said, making another 2 elotes for Henry to eat.

“I take it this means I have to make more Mexican food in the house?” Y/N asks.

“Oh absolutely, I’m going to have to work out even more to burn off these calories.” Henry said, kissing Y/N with his mouth tasting like elote.

The End

I know it’s short but I hope you like it! Feel free to request more ideas

Taglist: @warriormirkwood