#i got the white one with b&w print

[asteracaea]

i've resisted for months but i finally ordered an official tour tee lol

the post-show codes work! and it took off the tax and shipping so a $45 shirt (ugh that hurts to say) came out to $44.55 lol

[fuzzyunicorn]

Tbh babe I want a spell that makes me invisible @ the beach (the beach can b v uncomfy 4 me bc of that I HATE being filmed/photographed on the beach it makes me want to SCREECH & claw eyeballs out) (the worst is when women try 2 confront me over their bf/husbands being creeps BLAME HIM NOT ME STUPID SLUT! But my spirit team literally makes them turn around & the fact that has happened more than a few times is just so ugh go away n leave me alone but I doubt it’ll b a problem w u🖤 there 🥰🥰🥰)

[lexirosewrites]

Idk if ur gonna see this in time for slick sunday this week but here goes: a/b/o high fantasy might b my fave genre so ofc tht means I have a steddie brain worm abt it

Steve is the adopted omega son of the villages midwife, Claudia Henderson. She found him abandoned in the woods as a baby, an unfortunate but common practice for omega boys sometimes.

Their small village isn't far from the capital of the kingdom of Hawkins which is how the news of the summoning reaches their ears within days. The former king was cruel to be sure, and power hungry like he needed it to breathe. So he thought to strengthen himself w the help of a Demon, only he didn't read the fine print & got killed by said Demon & now the Demon is ruling Hawkins bc of right of conquest. Nothing changes drastically overnight but over the course of a year things improve in the kingdom of Hawkins. Their new king was cruel to his enemies but a fair & responsible ruler to his subjects. He established public education efforts for one thing, and opened up the knights ranks to commoners for another. Steve's life didn't change much, he still watched his baby brother & made his family their meals because Claudia was busier everyday tht spring approached, nothing rlly changed till the decree went out.

Tht all unmated omegas of a certain age range were to go to the royal palace for the celebration of their new kings first year of rule, where he will meet them & choose one of them to be his Consort.

Steve goes purely because it's a royal decree & he doesn't expect to make it very far anyway: male omegas r rare sure but they're not considered as fertile as a female omega & in a battle for the throne the ability to guarantee their king an heir must be key. So Steve goes & when he gets to the castle he's bustled in w all the other omegas into one room then this little blonde woman walks out, calls out certain names, & tells those ppl to leave. Steve is not told to leave. They're each given a room complete w a nesting frame & mattress (something tht is fancy to Steve who grew up in a village) as well as nesting materials. They're informed tht the king has scented a handkerchief for each of them to add to their nests. Sure enough atop all the blankets & sheets & paraphernalia is a simple white handkerchief tht smells like the smoke from the fire in his small homes hearth in Loch Nora with a hint of sweetness not unlike maple syrup. He sets abt making his nest to his standards i.e. comfort, comfort, comfort. He tucks in his adoptive mother's cotton headband she wore when working & his baby brothers knitted hat then can't decide where to put the kerchief from his king so he falls asleep holding it to his nose

ANYWAY THIS GOT LONG

So Eddie meets Steve & they fall in love & Eddie doesn't necessarily need heirs but he does need a mortal mate to tie him to this reality more solidly so he was planning to simply choose whoever wasn't repulsed by his scent bc to humans his scent is largely sulphur except Steve doesn't smell sulphur in Eddie's scent this can only mean one thing: Steve is the Demon kings soulmate

ofc Steve gets pregnant after they spend his heat together & he has a cute little half Demon baby w his doting Demon mate

royal au, demon eddie, soulmates!!!! 🥰🥰🥰

[gender-trash]

(i am seriously late in posting about this due to The Problems BUT whatever! its here now!!)

somewhere around late november 2022, i asked my dad "hey are there any out of print technical books you'd like a reprint of for christmas?"

he linked me to a dubious black-and-white pdf of Foundations of Mechanical Accuracy. now, i wound up checking out a copy through link+, and the original edition is a really nicely put together book! the chapters are themed around various types of measurements (length, angle, etc), and they all have these cute little diagrams which the endpapers reuse in a lil repeating pattern... the image captions are done in this really lovely dark red that did not scan for SHIT... tons and tons of diagrams and illustrations and images (both color and b&w)... just, all around, a fucking nice book!! (see also @morrak's post about it here.)

and that made me feel kind of bad about the crappiness of the pdf, which is where the Problems began. i used my phone to take pictures of all the photos and color diagrams in the original and went about replacing them in the pdf, using what turned out to be the world's worst pdf editing software (i also got through replacing all the image captions in chapter 1 of 5 before my dad convinced me to give up). i did NOT finish the pdf editing before christmas 2022 (i was going somewhat off the deep end, because both my housemates were away visiting family and i had zero external structure in my life so it was just me and my cat and this stupid FUCKING pdf wrecking my sleep schedule together); i poked away at it for most of the rest of my time off and then got so goddamn sick of it i put the project away for months. "it'll be a birthday gift instead", i said optimistically (my dad's birthday is in april! it should have been enough time!)

gentle readers, i did not finish the pdf editing by april. mostly because it was such a miserable slog that i put it off until the last possible moment and then tried to make up for it with another death march.

hating both myself and the project again, i decided i was Not going to let myself typeset Anything Else before it was done, and then took a break to bind my immortal (using the renegade publishing typeset! i didn't do any typesetting!!). SURELY, i said, i can finish this in time for christmas 2023.

i'm sure you know where this is going.

in my defense i DID finish the pdf editing by christmas, despite first doing every other possible procrastination project (including a second edition of the little second century warlord book), because by this point my dad had managed to convince me to lower my standards. on the evening of the 22nd i kicked off the print job and said to myself "this will finish printing overnight and then tomorrow i can work on sewing the textblock!"

late on the 23rd, after lots of babysitting and using at least one cartridge of every color ink in my printer, the print job was finally done. (my sweet and lovely cat wants SO BADLY to hunt and stalk the printer while it is printing -- more specifically, the printed pages, i think because they tend to make noise and move and then STOP moving. for this reason, the printer is kept in the craft room, because the cat can be shut out of the craft room and thus prevented from chewing on the pages when i have an all-day book printing job going. unfortunately the craft room was also being pressed into service as a guest room at the time so 80% of the floor space was consumed by an air mattress which i had to repeatedly trip over in order to reach the printer and replace the ink cartridges.)

then i went to my parents' house on the 24th and 25th and apologized to my dad (again) for not having the book finished. but this worked out well because we finished putting together my awesome new book clamp:

(the feet still aren't done being painted so they're just dry-fit on for now but you can still clamp books in it and that's what matters!!)

i came home, sewed the textblock (french link stitch over four linen tapes, with sewn endbands made of variegated embroidery floss over linen cord, and kozo paper glued over the spine)

... and promptly realized i SHOULD HAVE PUT IN MORE OF A GUTTER because some of the text was getting reeeeeeal close to the spine. "it's fine!" i said. "i just have to make sure it lays flat!! what better time than to try out K118 binding, a technique i have literally never done before and which people on the bookbinding discord notoriously have a hard time pulling off first try! i even have tyvek tape for it!"

so it turns out that tyvek tape isn't actually tyvek with glue on it, it's tape FOR attaching pieces of tyvek TO EACH OTHER, which maybe i could have guessed if i'd done even the slightest amount of research or planning. at this point i think it was the 27th and i was still angling to get this thing done by new year's, so no time to order Actual Tyvek.

fortunately, i had ALSO received An Package in the mail with yarn for a totally unrelated knitting project... shipped in a tyvek envelope.

i peeled all the shipping labels and stickers off my tyvek envelope, cut that shit up, and glued it on there.

and THEN it was time for gluing on covers, which i thought was going to be easy because i had actually thought ahead and ordered materials (specifically acid-free museum board), except when i cracked open the box of museum board i decided i Didn't Like It because the surface was too soft and easily dented, so i glued onto it the too-thin board material i'd previously been using (so that the cardboard goes on the outside of the book). this worked super well (the cardboard stuff has a tendency to curl up from the glue moisture, but the museum board doesn't!) and i'll probably use it on other stuff in the future.

i thought the blue bookcloth i used was kind of boring but i showed my dad the available cloth options and he really liked it, so... what do you know? i cut the piece i used on the back cover very slightly too short but it wound up being covered by the leather, so you can barely tell.

and the leather... a scrap just baaaaarely big enough from my bag of leather scraps from discount fabrics... and this the first time i'd ever attempted to put leather on a book... AND YET the only complaint i have is that i didn't manage to put an even amount on the front and back. it's reasonably square and straight!! amazing!!

i am super super happy with how this project came out (especially given the number of problems i encountered) and oh my god check out how much the spine bends

AND, AS A NEW YEAR'S PRESENT, I FINALLY MANAGED TO GIVE IT TO MY DAD

[rexwrendraws]

spotted on the wall behind the white horse theater!!

Happy one year to Bolt in the Blue by @valeriianz ! Truly the best band au fics I've ever read, I am Endless' #2 fan forever (#1 is Hob, of course) 💙🎸✨

+ alt. colors for the flyer & other scans:

i love taking advantage of my art uni's massive (MASSIVE) scanners for literally anything i can. it's got the most gorgeous grit and scan banding that photoshop trickery cant replicate (though i try lol). so, yes, i literally printed out the b&w flyers, scanned them in, then added color and printed them again to stick on my wall haha.

when digitally adding color, i wanted it to really feel like black ink on colored paper instead of trying to print on color paper and then scan it again (i have done this before idk). i think the xerox-y look is pretty convincing! the green, pink, and purple are my personal favs.

an irl friend suggest i try non-black-ink versions to see what i liked. i think they look cool but some of the text gets a bit lost. still, i like the pale yellow+red ink one. (this almost makes me want to try riso printing this to see what it'd look like 👀👀).

^ this is what the white horse metal barrier edit looked like before I added the Huji Cam filter lol. it wasn't feeling convincing enough like this, so i actually took a photo of my laptop screen with the filter and somehow that looked more real than the actual shot from the show lol. (also, because i've stared at this screenshot for so long, the orange/yellow June 12th poster? is everything on it a reference?? loll)

anyway, had a lot of fun making this!! feel free to print if you want!! READ THE FIC EVERYONE GO READ BOLT IN THE BLUE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[19calicos]

Can you make an ikwtl yn style guide please!! I am begging

ANON IM SORRY I TOOK LITERALLY FOREVER TO ANSWER THIS IM HERE NOW THO I'VE THOUGHT OF THIS ASK EVERYDAY

ikwtl yn style guide HERE WE GOOOOO (with layout creds to the number 1 @eggyrocks !!!)

we're going top to bottom guys !!!! yn is a huuuge fan of cool and goofy ass hats. loves to commission people & loves to buy from small brands and local brands from instagram. doesnt wear hats too often actually but when they do they cycle between these three (btw they're particularly biased towards the head trauma cap tho bc that ones 222 cool)

100% lives for sweater weather yup. always fully zips up jackets and LIVES for vintage adidas & nike. suna got yn a carhartt hoodie and they have worn it to DEATH. dreads when its too warm for a jacket bc it also functions as extra padding when they fall and eat shit from practicing tricks

yn has a couple tank tops for warmer days or for whenever it fits their mood. usually opts for something pretty simple but also loves a fun graphic. especially loves the cat one bc it looks like ube! they r very much a sucker for things with black cats on it, when they first got the black cat tank they lowk wore it to death

again yn is hella into cool graphics. they're a total sucker for nostalgic stuff and stupid shit and likes to support artists by buying their art as merch. also thinks screen printed shirts r cool so if they see one they're really fucking with at a flea market, their wallet is in one hand and the other is holding that shirt !

yn also likes painting with bleach. like. a lot. its too fun what can they say!!! they like that it helps them practice their art and they also like that it gives them a totally unique shirt. everytime they're at the thrift and see a plain black top, the voices start speaking to them...... and the voices win. LMFAOO

JORTS WEARER! and dude omfg DONTTTTT MF PLAY W YN'S JNCO COLLECTION !!! it's either these or jeans and if it's not baggy as shit they don't want it! but seriously they're actually blessed by the thrift gods. everytime they see a pair of jnco's that MIGHT fit, they're gripping it with white knuckles and running to the cashier to buy it right away. their jnco collection only keeps growing it's kind of insane

and hey u may have noticed! yn has a pretty limited color palette but it works bc everything goes together. will wear any baggy denim it just can't be white denim or light light wash bc of all the dirt stains they accumulate from falling off their board

always wears sneakers. if they cant skate it in the shoes whats the point! usually just wears b&w shoes but they do own some of the special vans collabs (they're on the vans mailing list so they can keep up w all the new drops), like the charlie brown ones. yn isnt a sneaker head though they WILL wear the shoes they buy and beat them up ok!!

also now that i think about it i do think yn wears a pop of color every now and then. so think of like a bright yellow hoodie and some red here and there. they prefer to wear color as an accent rather than a statement tbh

[dzgrizzle]

Frankenstein The True Story (1973)

This is where my love for the Bloomsbury Group of writers and artists intersects with my love of gothic literature, mad scientists, and monsters. This out-of-print paperback in today’s mail is the screenplay of FRANKENSTEIN: THE TRUE STORY, a 1973 two-part TV movie written by Christopher Isherwood (friend of E. M. Forster, W. B. Yeats, Virginia Woolf, and others) and his partner, the artist Don Bachardy. The original title, “Dr. Frankenstein,” got changed at the last minute by NBC TV. The movie is really very good, although I understand there are some significant differences from the screenplay as Isherwood and Bachardy wrote it. The actors Leonard Whiting and Michael Sarrazin (shown in the second pic) are both beautiful as Dr. Frankenstein and the Creature, respectively (well, the Creature starts out beautiful but then decays). The ever-bewitching Agnes Moorehead, post-Endora, is both campy and dignified, as always, as the landlady who finds herself hypnotized by the mad scientist, Dr. Polidori, played by James Mason. (This version of the Frankenstein story has three mad scientists, not just one!) I’m looking forward to reading the screenplay, then rewatching the movie on blu-ray with commentary track by Sam Irvin — who, as co-executive producer of the magnificent movie “Gods and Monsters,” is no stranger to Frankenstein lore. Sam Irvin has also written the award-winning book, “The Epic Saga Behind FRANKENSTEIN: THE TRUE STORY,” which is in my TBR stack. 

[stereotypicalsanriofemme]

hiii its me :3 !!! your recent concepts makes me think that i'm living in your head a little rent free... but you've also been in mine, so,

I l<3ve girls in skirts, bikinis, cosplay 🫣, and fancy dresses my really bad guilty pleasure for clothing is white shirts with no bra and microkinis *falls over and dies* (i recently got one in cow print and i get wet whenever i put it on (つ ^ ⊂ ) )

question for u: are you a boobs or butt person? or thighs? i like boobs to an embarrassing degree, like, i short circuit if i see cleavage. and butches with big chests make me want to cry and cum. but also i love small chests too... i think there should be a term for boob lesbians. i am proud in my boobsbianship.

.🍥🌺

u ARE living in my head rent free. there was a move in deposit of $500 where is it /j (i can’t even joke I’m gonna be writing those femme4femme/butch4butch foursome rambles w us in mind 💯)

MICROKINI GANG!! omg I have a little strawberry print one— this :)

we should make out in microkinis together that’d b so cute actually. we would both be so wet raghhh >:3 my microkini makes me super horny too just cuz of how much is showing.

ironically I’m an ass lesbian! boobs come with the package but if I see a masc with a dump truck I am staring disrespectfully. usually means they got hella muscle too which is even more of a 🤤

[genderhawk]

I'm unsure what your taste is so I'm including a small summary by everything. the storygraph generally has all triggers listed in their system if you need any content heads up) Unsure if you want non fiction also but I threw a couple of my favorites on there . All of these I got on Libby or hoopla

Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires by Grady Hendrix (Salem's Lot but Southern and with some very profound and insightful things about White Womanhood and public perception. Every female character is fleshed out and realistic)

I Lived On Butterfly Hill by Marjorie Agosin (A YA fictionalized memoir about a Chilean girl during Pinochet's regime) Sisters of the Lost Nation by Nick Medina (Thriller/Horror novel about an indigenous girl whose sister goes missing. One of the best things I have read this year) The Free People's Village by Sim Kern (Alternate history, what if Al Gore won the election? A fascinating look at how many of the problems we live with today are rooted deeper than simply someone else becoming president.) The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker (Set in NYC at the turn of the century, it traces how two beings from two very different religious traditions got there and how they can find a place for themselves. On personhood, the question of fate/free will as it pertains to one's inner nature, and a legitimately emotional story) Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (Rumplestiltskin retelling with intricate worldbuilding and wonderful characters) Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle (Legitimately creepy but insightful look into heteronormativity as enforced by Evangelical upbringing. I love the way the author handles religion in general here) Lark Ascending by Silas House

(A tragedy with a happy ending. This book was one of the first things I read this year and it has stayed with me since. Cannot recommend it enough) Germinal by Emlie Zola

(One of Suzanne Collins' favorite books, it's the story of the 1890s miners strike in France.)

Soul Full of Coal Dust by Chris Hamby (A journalist's investigation into Black Lung and how it affects Appalachian communities as well as the legal fights to hold mining companies accountable for bucking safety practices and refusing to cover medical care. A harrowing read, but an important one.)

The Most They Ever Had, by Rick Bragg (Sister title to the above, this one covers the history of mill workers in the foothills of Appalachia) Black Reconstruction in America by W E B DuBois

(Long as fuck, and honestly probably best read in print, but if you have even the slightest interest in American history, this is a must read) Finally, the Unofficial Recipes of the Hunger Games, by RockRidge University Press. (Fandom Cookbooks often don't do it for me, but this cookbook is not only textually accurate but it tries the foods mentioned in the book to real-life equivalents or what ingredients may have been available as best they can and it's a legitimately engaging read with many great recipes)

You started out with one of my FAVORITE discovered authors this year, I read that + final girls support club AND how to sell a haunted house this year multiple times 10/10

If you liked that one you've gotta try Devolution by Max Brooks bc like.... Imagine if there was a Tesla village? With some big shoes to fill..... Told as if it were nonfiction post disaster

You might also like Uprising by Margaret Peterson Haddix which is a YA novel, historic fiction, about three teenage girls who work in and around a very specific shirtwaist factory in 1911

Everything else is stuff that's either new to me or has been only in the edges of my radar, but all sounds really cool.... I should try to snag camp Damascus tbh firstly and add the cook book to my wish list

[asanders345gd-i]

ARTS345 Final Course Reflection

This design course has been a huge learning experience for me, primarily in regards to my creative processes. The magazine project being semester-long was absolutely the biggest test of this. I've always struggled with internal motivators. The urgency that accompanies a quickly approaching deadline is unfortunately the signal for my hardest and most focused work. In terms of the magazine, I often sacrificed progress for other more urgent and immediate project deadlines. The biggest takeaway here is a need to build on existing time management skills in the grace period between terms, which I fully plan on doing to avoid another frantic semester.

My ideas for subject matter was also much clearer near the project start date. As time progressed, I found myself forgetting what ideas or elements I wanted to include. Ironic for an magazine on ADHD management, but frustrating nonetheless. Creative energy waxed and waned in a similar way. There would be weeks where I hated every single one of my concepts, and didn't end up with anything of substance to show for it. I have been pulling 8 hour homework days extremely often this semester, but the lack of progress by the end of them has been defeating. Thankfully, there are a multitude of online resources describing how to keep stamina during long-term projects with ADHD that will be extremely helpful to me.

Toward the final submission date, however, I'm really proud of my ability to pull things together. I went from few solid final designs to ones I really love in about a month. My goal was to experiment with a lot of high contrast black and white imagery. Color can be something I include to an excess with varying levels of successful execution. I love the visual puzzle nature of silhouette and figure-ground work and have been interested in working in that style recently. Aside from black and white ink illustrations, I felt type would be a crucial element here. For headers, I chose to create extremely large type in dynamic placements that demands one's focus. Here I discovered just how much I love working with dynamic type. It was a challenge to arrange the letters on the page, especially with their half-letter size, but the payoff after seeing it physically printed was well worth it. My approaches were usually either very large text or very small, which in context of my subject matter, was so useful for creating and retaining visual interest. Photography was my biggest uncertainty in terms of subject matter. I initially took photographs of natural shadows I found in the world, but I felt they were a bad fit for something largely black-and-white. Suddenly, though, I remembered the B&W 35mm photographs and scans from an intro photography class I had taken. After hunting, I tossed a few in and realized they fit perfectly. I loved using existing assets from previous courses, as it helps me not forget their successes and allows me to build upon those.

In assembling the work, I began to feel a bit uneasy. Craft is not always my strong point, and I especially didn't want to make too large of a mistake considering how long the spreads took to print and trim. I thought about using the demo method from class, however, I found my notes were so quickly written that I didn't understand the process. To solve this problem, I researched saddle stitch binding and selected it for the final. For a first try, I think I did pretty well. No catastrophic tears or rips, and the pages hold together pretty well. I would love to keep doing this for projects and personal work, just maybe with a smaller page count.

As a whole, I feel I got a lot from this course in terms of self discovery. My art and design work has really matured this semester and I think the magazine is a perfect example of such. In taking what I've learned technically and internally, I feel a much greater confidence in everything I do going forward. With some edits, I will be adding this project to my professional portfolio.

[shop-korea]

20 JAN 2024 - SABBATH - SATURDAY - MAIN - LIBRARY

NEW YEAR - AUTHOR - FAIR - INSIDE - BOTH FLOORS

EVERYWHERE - AUTHORS - AUTOGRAPHING - COOL

OLD - WHITE - MALE - SUPER - NICE

HE - SAID - LATE - FEE - OF - BOOKS - FORGIVEN

REMOVED - 4 YRS - AGO - 1ST - ONE - 2 TELL ME

ONLY - FEES

BOOKS - LOST - OR - DAMAGED

HE - SAID - ‘COME - 2 - HIM - WHEN - LOST’

FEE - WAIVED - I SAID - ‘LOST - WON’T - HAPPEN

WITH - ME - LOVE - BOOKS’

NO - FEES - 4 - LATE

WENT - 2 - FIND - WHEN - MY - NICHOLAS SPARKS

BOOKS - LARGE PRINT - EXPENSIVE - $31.95 AND

$34.95 - LOVE - LARGE - PRINT

SHARED - LOVE - JUDITH DEVERAUX - HISTORICAL

ROMANCE - ONLY - ONE - I - READ - EVERY - WORD

BUT - SHE - CHANGED - LEFT - FAMILY - THEY MEET

PRINCE - CHARMING - PRODUCED - CHILDREN - SO

NEXT - BOOK - THEIR - KIDS - GROW - AND MARRY

THEIR - CHILDREN - ABOUT - FAMILY - SHE - LEFT

THAT - WITH - MODERN - PLUS - LIVED - IN - YES

ENGLAND - IN - AN - OVER 300 YRS - OLD HOUSE

EXCUSE - GRAMMAR - SHE - LEFT - HISTORICAL

WITH - MODERN - SO - DON’T - READ HER - YES

ANYMORE

NICHOLAS SPARKS - 15 BOOKS - ALL - NEW YORK

BESTSELLER - I SAID - NY TIMES - BECAME - NICE

HIS - STORIES - ARE - ORDINARY - BUT - GREAT 4

LIKE - JUDITH - WENT - 4 - FAMILY - ABOUT WHEN

THEY - MARRY - AND - WHO - BUT - WHEN - THEY

CONCENTRATE - ON - STRANGERS - ILLITERATE

I - SKIP - THOSE - PAGES - 3 OR - 5 - NO - LIKE EX

HE - IMPLIED - LEAD - MALE - DYING - OF - TERMINAL

CANCER - THAT - HURT - ME - SO - I - COULDN’T YES

READ - 25 PAGES - BUT - I - GUESS - RECUPERATED

HIS - DREAM - COME - TRUE - HIS - WIFE - DAUGHTERS

TOLD - HIM - I’M - BUYING - ESTATE - STABLES - IN - YES

ASHEVILLE - NORTH CAROLINA - SELF - MAGAZINE 2016

‘SAFEST - CITY - 4 - WOMEN’ - HAPPIEST - CITY - ROOTS

OF - PEOPLE - JOLLY - ENGLAND - ALSO - TOP 10 - BEST

ONE - OF - BEST - CITY 2 - LIVE IN - CHEAP REAL ESTATE

ONLY 40 DEGREES - BLUERIDGE - MOUNTAINS - COLDER

AT - MIAMI - 20 DEGREES - BILTMORE - ESTATES - THEIR

CASTLE - ANNUAL - OVER - $200 - FIRST - YEAR - CHEAP

NEXT - BRING - YOUR - OWN - HORSE - 10% - OFF - THEIR

HOTELS - SHOPS - TOUR - THEIR - CASTLE - THE - MAJOR

ACTIVITIES - THERE HERE LIKE - BAYSIDE MARKETPLACE

BUT - FREE - THOROUGHBRED - HORSES - GETTING 3

ONE - A - BABY - OVER - $100,000 EACH - HOW - $$$$$

I - GET - THIS - SHARED - JORDAN - $6 MILLION

TRY VIRAL VAULT . com

TIK TOK - UPLOADED - 2 VIDEOS - DAILY - FREE

ONE - MADE - JUST - THAT - $4,000 - DAILY - HIS

OTHERS -  SHOPIFY - ONLY - TIK TOK - ADS

MADE - OVER - $100,000 - 1 MONTH - NOW MORE

AMAZON - 4 - HUB LOCKERS - SHARED - HOMEWOOD

SUITES - 24/7 - NEAR - NOVOTEL - HE - KNOWS

AMAZON - PRIME - OVER - $1.29 BILLION - DAILY

JORDAN - PROMISES - $10,000 - MONTHLY

SHARED - GOOGLE - SEARCH

START - DROPSHIP - MOSTLY - ALI EXPRESS - CHINA

$5,000 - $10,000 - THEN - $25,000 - THEN - $250,000

MONEY - I - NEED - HIGHEST - BUILDING - COMING

CONDOS - 2 POOLS - ROOF - AND - 7TH - FLOOR

STARTS - AT - $2 MILLION - $25 MILLION - & MORE

GETTING - ONE - 4 - THE - SWIMMING - POOLS

LOVESVILLE - NC - 50 MIN - FR - ASHEVILLE IS

HORSES - ONLY - NO - CARS - GOING - THERE

TOLD - HIM - MARCUS - SAVINGS - INTEREST BEARING

$0.03 - I - RECEIVED - HE - SAID - IT - WAS - MORE $$$$

B 4 - I - SAID - MAKATI - CITY - NEAR - CAPITAL MANILA

BRINGING - MY - MONEY - THERE - 4 - INTEREST BEARING

CAN - COMPETE - WITH - OTHER - COUNTRIES - BUT USA

BAD - INTEREST - BEARING - SO - BAD - BUT - OURS - YES

AUTO - TAXED - SO - I - CAN - AFFORD - MIAMI - AND - SO

LOW - STILL - REAL - ESTATE - AT - ASHEVILLE - NC

GREAT - CONVERSATION - SHARED - HOW - 2 - MAKE $$$

SO - WITH - LIBRARY - CARD - GOT - MY - DUES

BOOKS - AUTO - REPEATS - TWICE - UNLESS - SOMEONE

REQUESTS - BUT - SINCE - NO - LATE - FEE - ANYMORE I

DON’T - HAVE - 2 - WORRY - THOUGHT - ALL 3 - SAME DUE

DATE - SAID - THOUGH - 2 BOOKS - SAME - THICKNESS - 1

IS - SLIGHTLY - SMALLER - THE - FONT - SO - THEY - CAN

PUT - MORE - WORDS - INSIDE - SO - WAS - WORRIED

HOW - I - CAN - FINISH

DOES - TITLES - AND - WHEN - DUE

PUTTING - IN - MY - NOTES - AREAS - BUT - NO LATE FEE

ONLY - WHITE - OLD - MALE - SHARED - WHAT HAS FEES

NICHOLAS SPARKS - LIVES - IN - NORTH - CAROLINA

MEETING - AND - GETTING - HIS - AUTOGRAPH

I - LIKE - LOOKING - 4 - CHRISTIAN - BOOKSTORES ON

ONLINE - THEY - SELL - USED - BOOKS - WITH - JOEL

OSTEEN - AUTOGRAPHS - I - SAID - I - BUY - THOSE

APPROVED - BY - HIM

CONFIRMED - SENIOR - PASTOR - HOUSTON - TEXAS

WIFE - SAME - VICTORIA OSTEEN

AUTHORS - ALSO - LOVE - DR JERRY SAVELLE BOOKS

DR JESSE DUPLANTIS - KENNETH COPELAND - AND

GLORIA COPELAND - THEIR - BOOKS - I - BUY - CAN

GET - THEIR - AUTOGRAPHS - WHAT - I - WANT ALSO

1ST - EDITION - IN - EUROPE

HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSON

AUTOGRAPHED - ABOUT - $1,000 - $10,000 - EA BOOK

BUYING - THOSE - I’M - INTO - BOOKS - LIKE

‘THE - LITTLE - MERMAID’

I - HAVE - A - SHOPIFY - ONLINE - STORE - HOW - 2 BUY

ALL - THESE - PLACES - RESIDING - ALSO - IN - MIAMI 4

I - LIKE - NO - STATE - TAXES - ONLY - FEDERAL - IN - FL

LIKE - VERY - MUCH - ADDING - ASHEVILLE - NORTH

CAROLINA - NOT - LEAVING - MIAMI - NO - NO - LOVE

NO - STATE - TAXES - AND - NO - SNOW - ALSO LOVE

STRONG - WINDS - MIAMI - RIVER

INTEREST - BEARING - IN - MAKATI - 2 - INCREASE MY

MONEY - AND - TAX PAID - ONLY - ONE - WHO - DOES

SO - BLK - FEMALE - BEHIND - SO - CONVERSATION

ENDED - THUS - HERE’s - THE - LIST - LARGE PRINT

NICHOLAS SPARKS

‘THE - NOTEBOOK’ - 16 DEC 2023 - 10 DAYS - FR NOW

SMALLEST - BOOK - CAN - FINISH - TONIGHT

NO - LATE - FEE - RENEWS - 2 MONTHS - TOTAL AUTO

UNLESS - REQUESTED - BUT - NO - LATE - FEE

‘EVERY - BREATH’ - REAL - THICK - 20 DEC 2023

14 DAYS - FR - NOW - STARTING - TONIGHT

NEXT - YEAR - DUE

ALREADY - READ - A - LOT

‘AT - FIRST - SIGHT’ - 06 JAN 2024

GOT - ALL - 3 - FOR - THANKSGIVING - WEEK

BUT - COULDN’T - READ - ANY - BECAUSE OF

STREET - CLEANING - AND - TWICE - NOW 2

THEY’RE - DOING - EVERY - WEEK MY GUESS

BIBLE - ‘WORRY - NOT’ - HAPPY - HOLIDAYS

ADDING - 15 LBS - FOLDABLE - 14 INCH - HGT

OVER - $62 - MY - NEW - ABOVE - WHEELS &

COT - ATTACHED - ABOVE - SO - NICE - THEN

I - PUT - SLEEPING - BAG - ON - TOP - 4 - TRUE

4 FT - HEIGHT - HOW - LOW - SHOULD - B - 5 FT

STILL - ROOM - ABOVE - SIDES - STRONGEST

WINDS - AND - FR - FAST - CARS - NEVER PUT

FEET - OR - HANDS - 2 CLOSE - 2 - EDGES - IN

INSIDE - TENT - DON’T - PUT - FEET - HANDS

ON - TENT - INSIDE - STRONG - WINDS - AND

CARS’ - WIND - AS - SPEEDERS - SUPER YES

STRONG - MOVEMENT - SO - HEAVY - IS HAI

NEEDED - 2 - KEEP - ON - THE - GROUND AS

AFTER - DEADLY - HURRICANES - SEASON

01 JUN - 30 NOV - THE - STRONGEST - AUG

TO - OCT - EACH - YEAR - DECEMBER - AND

JANUARY - 75 MPH - WINDS - JANUARY - YES

BEING - THE - COLDEST - USA - AND WORLD

SO - EXCITED - ABOUT - SLEEPING - BAG ME

ASLEEP - AFTER - 5 MIN - AND - CONTINUOUS

NEVER - HAS - THAT - BEEN - MY EXPERIENCE

LOVE - CAMEL CROWN - TENTS - MOST - YES

GORGEOUS - INSIDE - CAN - READ - BOOKS 2

GREAT - LIGHT - INSIDE - BUT - I - CAN - STILL

SLEEP - BECAUSE - NICE - SOFTNESS - 4 MY

EYES - CAMEL - DISPLAYED - L - AND R SIDE

BLUE - SO - DOGS - AND - CATS - CAN - SEE

THIS - SHADE - BLUE - BEAUTIFUL - JUST - 1

OPENING - MOSQUITO - NET - HALFWAYS - 2

CLOSE - SO - NOT - 5 FT - ALL - THE WAY ALL

THE - TIME - SO - MY - ZIPPERS - BUSTED

TENT - FRONT - NOT - ALL - THE - WAY SO

MY - HANDS - 2 - GET - FOOD - LEFT - EACH

SATURDAY - 6:30A EST - OR - IF - DADS ARE

LIKE - MOMS - WORRIED - ABOUT - TEENS 2

THEY - BRING - UP - THAT - BOTTOM - 2 SEE

THEIR - KIDS - SAFELY - SLEEPING - 4 - YES

NECESSARY - PEEP - NOT - JUST - WHEN

THEY - ILLEGALLY - PUT - TENT - FLAP UP

‘UNREASONABLE - SEARCHES’ - BY - NON

OWNERS - 4TH - VIOLATED - THUS - LOVE

LOVE - WHERE - I - AM - SW 2 ST - AND THE

FRONT - OF - TENT - FACING - SW 2 AV - FL

FR - MIAMI - HAPPY - HOLIDAYS - TUMBLR 2

[dzpenumbra]

6/27/23

Alright, let's dive into this head-first. I'm having a bit of a meltdown.

I streamed tonight. I did some work on my abstract piece, about an hour. Then I ate dinner and watched skate videos on-stream, then played Session. A guy I didn't recognize came in. He said he found me through another stream like a year and a half ago and really liked my art and wanted to support me.

He DM'd me and we chatted after. And I've been in full panic-mode since. Because this guy legitimately wants a tattoo design commission. And I'm over here like... bro, I haven't done a commission in like... 7 years? At least?

He tuned into my stream when I was drawing the owl that is my profile picture on here. I drew that on stream in colored pencil, it took me over 40 hours. He wanted that piece on the back of his shoulder.

I'm gonna level here. I don't know how to price my shit. I am absolutely lousy at it. I always have been. And I have always underpriced my shit, and the vast majority of my work has just been given away for free. Because I have really low self esteem and cave under pressure way too easily... and just get super anxious. It's overwhelming. And I just, the whole fucking process is horrible for me. I hate talking money. I don't even like talking about bills that I'm getting. Just money as a fucking concept is just really fucking uncomfortable for me. Obviously not a great problem to have in fucking America, yeah?

I scrambled and... tried to find a scan of the owl, so I could just... give him a scanned copy? And then charge less. I don't know, I have an idea how to charge for hand-drawn shit. Originals. Art. I can price things that are already done. But like... prints? Scans? I don't know. And this is a tattoo, it would be weird if someone bought the original piece and this guy has a tattoo of it. I don't know. It just all feels weird all around.

I've gotten really settled in to this place of just worrying about making things. Just keep creating, just keeping making new and interesting things. This whole sales piece is absolutely nerve-racking and immobilizing. And I feel like it immediately makes me look unprofessional.

So... I did the math on the piece... 40+ hours rounding down, at $25 an hour... that's $1000 as a base... Hand-drawn original, realism, full size. I priced it to him as $1500. I'd let the original go for that, I guess. I still have the original, it's sitting in my portfolio.

So I just told him that as a reference point, so he knew what he was getting into. And he came back with some corrections. Reduced size, black and white, less detail. He wanted 7"x5", a Barn Owl, B+W and I guess a bit stylized (i.e. less photorealistic detail). So... I quoted him $350. And he came back with $300. On the premise that he's going to have to pay the tattooist 300-350 as well, plus a tip.

Quick tangent here. Really think this one over. Who do you pay more? The original artist of your tattoo, or the person tracing their work into your skin? I mean... you don't want the tattooist to fuck it up, sure... But like... are you saying the act of tattooing someone else's work is worth more than the act of creating the art in the first place? And... you don't have to tip me? I hadn't really thought about it much before, it's a weird thing. Especially since I've designed several tattoos for former friends, and they went to an artist who fucked up my work. In the end, the buyer was the one who got fucked, but yeah. It just kinda sucks.

Anyway. I'm afraid I might've lowballed myself there. And then he brought me even lower. And now I'm just like... well... it better be right. Because now we're agreed. And now I have to do a commission.

It's not the end of the world, I'm just freaking out. I don't want to fuck it up. I don't know what medium to use, I don't know whether to do digital or pencil. If I do pencil, how do I get it to him? Do I mail it? How do I process payments? PayPal? I guess? Do I keep records of this shit?

I feel way out of my depth. And I feel like I have to act like I know what I'm doing. Which I tried to do, I think it worked well enough. I just feel like I'm going to fuck this up. And the hardest part? I don't have anyone to talk to about it. At all. No one to run prices by for second thoughts, no one to help me research stuff, no one to reassure or ground me. I'm just swimming in the anxiety and self-doubt and depression, barely keeping my head above water.

I hate this. I should be excited. I should be happy. And it's one fucking commission. This will cover like... two orders of groceries. And will likely take me a full week of work.

I don't like this way of working. I like coming up with my own ideas and putting the pieces together. I don't like trying to guess what someone else is picturing, and trying to get close.

This is all very foreign. Very weird.

The weirdest part? In an alternate timeline, this is what I would've been doing full-time for 10 years now. Plus the actual tattooing too. Getting out of college, my first idea was to start a company that I tentatively named "Evo Customs" which was a design company that would put customized art on anything. Skateboard, helmet, shirt, computer tower, you name it. Then I transitioned into pursuing tattooing. I was heavily encouraged by my friend, and we spoke to my then tattooist about it. She was a one-woman operation working out of a pretty small town. She pointed me in the direction of the program that she went to, and offered for me to finish up my skin-time hours with her, and she'd sign off on an apprenticeship and I'd be good to go either work with her or open up my own shop. Welp... I went and did the program, and I came back, and I went to her... and she said "what are you talking about?" And then she hired some teenager to work her register and apprentice under her instead. And I was absolutely crushed, devastated.

All of my tattoo designs - the one I did for my friend's ex-wife (for free), the one I did for my former best friend (for free), the one I did for my former best friend's husband (for free). Even four of my own tattoos which were all self-designed, she inked them all. And she just walked the other way and acted like it never happened.

I was never able to find another artist who would take me on. I just transitioned into tattoo design instead. I had all my tattoo equipment in boxes for years. Inks, cups, ointments, bands, needles, my machines, stencils, all of it. Last year, I threw it all away. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I felt like I just gave the fuck up. But, I think I gave up long before that. And this was just... cleaning house. Stopping myself from clinging.

When I went to vocational rehabilitation in winter 2019, right before the pandemic hit, I mentioned my past aspirations of being a tattooist to the person who was working with me. They urged me to go to a shop about 40 minutes south of me. They had a connection there. I really struggle to just... interact with strangers in a professional setting. Which is pretty clear right here tonight, I get super insecure and super anxious. I act confident, I'm sure it doesn't read as though I'm anxious, but I'm fucking losing it inside. So... it's really hard for me to do. I can't really explain it, it just is and no matter how much I try to puff out my chest and "be a man" and just ignore it or whatever, it just tears me apart. So, because of that, I really just needed a professional connection. And this was supposed to be it. This was the first one I had gotten, an in. Someone to vouch for me.

They set up an appointment with me in the middle of winter at fucking like 8 AM. So I get there early, and I'm sitting in the parking lot for like 20 minutes freezing my balls off drinking coffee. Then I go inside and they have me sit in the waiting room. And I flip through their art books and they had some pretty cool shit, but I was just trying not to completely freak out. And then the guy brings me back and I introduce myself and then pull out my phone and start showing him some pictures and he just has no fucking idea what's going on. At all. He was just like "okay, so which of these pieces did you want done?" He scheduled the fucking meeting and he thought I was there for a tattoo, not a fucking job interview. I don't know if the fucking state agency that set that up dropped the ball or if it was that guy... but I got a nice talk from this dude on how he trusted someone to be an apprentice once and he "learned that fucking lesson" because the guy went and set up his own shop... like an hour away... in a different county... and he saw it as "competing with him". And he didn't want to "train his competition". In fact, his entire shop was... him, his wife, his daughter and her boyfriend or fiancée. And that was it. So... I went there for fucking nothing. And that whimper was the death of my tattoo career ambitions. I completely tapped out after that. And last year, when I had to move and sort through all my shit? I finally tossed my tattoo gear. All of it. For good. The only thing that survived was my Kuro Sumi outlining ink, which I used for the goat skull and staining the wooden beads on my necklace. That's why it's such a powerfully symbolic medium for me, because of how much gravity in my personal life is attached to it.

Can you tell this commission is making me flash back to some really devastating memories? I'm trembling a bit and my chest is a bit tight.

It really hurt to lose that purpose, that direction. Even more so that... I just sorta let this social anxiety barrier stop me from approaching other shops. I fucking hate this emotional brick wall that stops me from going. I hate it so much. Like seriously, if one friend went with me? To a local tattoo shop, or something. I would gladly go. But alone, I am way too timid, way too passive, too chill, too back-seat. My interest in working at their shop wouldn't even come up in conversation unless they brought it up. I'd have to like... become a regular. The awkwardness of it just makes my skin crawl.

And what upsets me the most is that some people love doing that. And they won't help me. It's so aggravating. Like... this is clearly one of my greatest weaknesses that has completely crippled my ability to establish myself as a professional artist, and it clearly stems from mental health stuff... and I can't get a single living organism to help me do it. I just need to... wait... and slowly chip away at my mental health barriers... until I can do it myself. It might take a year, it might take 10 years, however long it takes to gradually get to the point where I can comfortably interact like a human. And meanwhile, I'm surrounded by others who can easily, intuitively do this. And could easily help me out, and vouch for me in the process. But they don't. Because "I should be doing it for myself".

Can you tell I'm a bit upset about this? XD

There's nothing more frustrating to me than having a small nuanced problem... that's hard to articulate to others, that they don't seem to really understand because they don't share that problem. For instance - having a trauma response associated with going grocery shopping pre-food-delivery-apps. People who don't suffer from this have no fucking idea how massive of a difference just going along with that person to the store can be. And it costs like... nothing. But I've always heard shit like "can't you just do that yourself" "why do I need to do that for you?" Shit like that. Like I'm just fucking lazy. Not like it takes me 45 minutes to pep talk myself into going out there, then I'm wading through a lava river of emotional overwhelm and every bell in my head that says "your life is in danger and we don't even know what from" is clanging. And I'm alone through it. And I have to fake a fucking cheery conversation with the fucking checkout lady.

Since those days (that was probably... close to 10 years ago when I had that grocery store problem, I've gotten much better with it over the past several years) I have developed experience and a "script" for those kinds of interactions. I learned. It took me a long time, lots of practice, lots of exposure, but I got there. This one? The work one? Negative. I have very little experience, and all of it has been bad. And honestly...

I'm just getting really sick and tired of having to be good at everything and do everything myself.

I had this butting of heads with my therapist before. "What's the point of a social network if I'm going to have to do all this myself anyway?" Like... all I've looked for in life is a wingman, someone to vouch and make introductions, to help in literally any way. So I don't have to go around and method act being a fucking extrovert. I have been in extreme isolation for over 4 years. I am not good at pretending to be an extrovert. I should not be expected to be good at extroverted behaviors, I have no idea why anyone would expect me, of all people, to be in any way good at that. It should be expected that those encounters would be extremely overwhelming for me.

Who the fuck am I ranting at? XD I don't even know anymore. I'm just sorta shaking my fist at the sky pissed off that I don't have anyone to like... brainstorm this stuff with. Run price quotes by, shit like that. I don't know.

And I guess I'm just kinda upset because... I don't really want to do commissions. I kinda just want people to be supporting what I'm doing now. I worked pretty hard to develop the rhythm I have now, where I cultivate a mindset for creativity to form, then seize it when inspiration strikes and... I'm trying to incorporate streaming into the process. I finally, like... a year ago?... took the plunge and dedicated myself towards Fine Art. My intentions being... work that is displayed publicly. Private ownership feels... secondary, optional. I decided to move more towards trying to get stuff in galleries. Again... with some pieces.

Okay, you know what? Maybe I'm freaking out because I don't know. I don't know what I do. And I'm kinda having an existential crisis because of it. Over winter, I polished stones and made jewelry, and made a custom painted hoodie. Spring, I did The Path (a fine art video/digital art piece), the goat skull and about 10 abstract ink pieces. Now, I'm working on a mini Zen Garden and my Fractal digital abstract piece which will probably eventually be an ink and cloth tapestry.

Everything I have done, I'd have to brainstorm pricing individually. I have given it zero thought. The necklace and the mala I could come up with a decent price for, I guess. The hoodie, too, or a custom piece like it. Even the skull, or my abstract drawings. But I literally haven't even given it thought. I don't want to care about that. I wish all I had to do was just worry about the process. For the past decade, that's all I've known. And this is all very foreign and bewildering. I don't want to "screw it up".

So yeah. I went with 300, took the 50 under asking price. Don't really know why. I just did. And he sent me some reference. And I'll just figure that out tomorrow. The pose, the size, the medium, how to pay, all that. I'll just wake up after my night of what I'm sure will inevitably be night terrors at this point... XD Put on a pot of coffee and just... figure out what I'm doing.

I was saying today on stream - I want to get back into representational work. I want to do a piece that is of something. And I was considering doing the Blue Jay that visits me. I wish I could break through these intense overwhelming emotions and see the good in this.

This is such high praise. A person who has barely spent any time around my work... wants to pay me $300 because he fell in love with my work a year and a half ago and wants to get it tattooed on his body permanently. I think I'm in shock. And denial, a bit. I think my self esteem is so devastatingly low that... I don't fully believe it's happening? And I'm adding a shit-ton of pressure to make sure... I "get it right".

I'm scared. I'm scared I'm gonna fuck it up. The piece itself, or already fucked up by underpricing myself. I was going to ask for half up-front and then half when I finish. I think that's fair. Just so neither of us flake out on it. Once I get the details ironed out on exactly what he wants, but before pencil touching paper.

God, I hate business. Ugh. I just want to draw and create and make cool, interesting shit. And have people donate or something. Idk. I'm just not enjoying myself right now.

That said, I got my package today. Sheets that actually fit my "new" mattress, the sieves and a suncatcher that's like a multifaceted prism that catches sunlight and refracts rainbows around the room. I'm excited to see that in action now that the smoke has cleared a bit.

Man, I almost got away from the topic of freaking out. XD I'm scared of disappointing this guy. I'm scared of fucking up the drawing, or taking too long or something. I'm sure I won't... I'm just... I'm very anxious. So... to remedy this... I'll just not stream that piece. And apologize to him about that, but... yeah, fuck it, I can just say I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety lately and I feel like I'd do better work behind closed doors. I'm sure he'll understand. It's usually just the sketching phase that I feel like that with. When it's just starting to take form. Once I've got that down, I'd be fine with streaming the piece taking shape.

Anyway, enough of that. I need to wrap up. Besides this giant turn of events, my upstairs neighbors were being loud as shit. The boyfriend was back over again last night, they were really loud, then there was an actual child visiting and running all over the apartment, and they were talking really loud. All evening. Until like 10. And that's just what it is. I was cranky about it. I wish I could be happier for other people. Maybe that's why I crave the late late hours. It's so quiet, so peaceful, so still.

I also shaved my head and my beard today. Buzzed, gone. Fuck it. The only reason I grew it out was because the doctor told me the clippers were giving me micro-abrasions and those were getting infected, but... we ruled that out. And he has no idea what this is. So I decided to just go back to shaving my head. It makes me a bit more insecure to have these big fucking weird pimple-like swollen red spots on my head, and have them super visible because my head is shaved... but what the fuck am I supposed to do? I can't even get in to see a doctor about it, no one knows what this is. I did an antibiotic regimen, it did nothing. I do steroid cream, it makes them fade quicker, but they just come right back in different spots. I'm just waiting on a specialist. So, I might as well be comfortable in the process. And the cream is easier to put on when my head is shaved, so... there's that. Going on 2 years of dealing with this shit, I'm gonna be so much less anxious once these things are gone.

Okay, I'm going to do tarot and go to bed, it's super late.

Past - Two of Wands, inverted (Planning, scrutiny, taking risks and moving a plan forward.  The active force needed to put a plan into motion.) Present - Four of Wands (Stability, a sense of completion.  A major milestone, taking a moment to reflect on accomplishment so far, before moving to a new future.) Future - Three of Cups (Celebration, calling in good fortune, joy.  Social gathering, a heartfelt belonging in a community.)

Alright, we're starting with inverted Two of Wands. I actually pulled some cards when I was setting up my webcam earlier today and Two of Wands came up. That was my first reaction. It was inverted then too. Two of Wands is planning, surveying the landscape. Inversion representing a blockage, barrier or dissonance around this symbol. Difficulty or struggle planning or seeing ahead. Hmm...

This is connected to Four of Wands in the Present position. And it made me smile. Four of Wands is a milestone, a memorable event and the ensuing celebration. The image this artist provides is a birthday party. Fitting, that's what I should be doing now...

And this concludes with Three of Cups. Upright, for once. Fucking rare in my readings! (At least it feels that way, definitely rare in my life...) Three of Cups is the "party card", it's a celebration shared with loved ones. It's the card I immediately thought of when I saw Four of Wands, because I was like "I could call this the 'celebration card', but I already have the 'party card'."

Okay, with the definitions all added in... let's stitch it all together. So... I've been struggling to take risks and move shit forward... but I've landed here. Somehow. And this is actually a milestone. A pretty big one. And this will lead to a celebration, one shared with others.

I'm going to add this on while I'm here. When that guy came into my chat, complimenting me and being super friendly and nice? I thought he was fucking with me. I thought he was full of shit, or like... scheming something. He mentioned a streamer's name "buddha" who I... I have like... never been in their room. It was there like... maybe once or twice? Years ago. And this guy said he knew me from that chat... and came to see my art... and fell in love... and a year and a half later he wants to commission me to get my art. When I have like zero fucking viewers. It was really hard to believe. I felt like I was getting conned or scammed, like he was setting me up for something. I feel bad that I was a bit harsh and skeptical of him. Just getting that out there.

The bonus placeholder card was inverted Two of Cups, a new one. That one is a strong connection forming, but... with the disruption of inversion. So... that's a thing.

I'm fucking wiped. Physically, emotionally. Super drained. Heavy workout, giant anxiety/depression/trauma episodes for two hours straight. I'm just bushed. I'm gonna go pass out, hopefully sleep decent and figure all of this out tomorrow over coffee.

[imrananwar]

Morning High/Lights & Long/Shadows Frame Woods - IMRAN™ I got my start in photography when my late beloved father gave me my first camera in Pakistan around age 7 at the start of the 1970s, when many even middle class families there did not invest in cameras. The camera was a Diana, if I recall. Black & White was the most common photography even for adults with cameras. Color film and processing were much more expensive. It was also correctly believed by people that color prints would fade over time. I did my share of B/W photography as a kid growing up in Karachi. I would even take it with me when visiting my parents in Punjab province during my school holidays. I soon also got into color photography. I recall inserting the rolls of 24 or 36 pictures color film in cameras in dark settlings and try to squeeze out one or sometimes even two extra shots out of a roll, at the start and the end. Over the decades I did not do too much black and white photography. But for a while I’d been thinking about throwing in a monochrome shot here and there. This cold (9C) northern early Saturday morning walk with my dogs gave me an interesting angle to capture and share. The sun was shining through the leaves of a tree, casting Islands of light and pools of shadows. © 2022 IMRAN™ #photos #photography #monochrome #BlackAndWhite #IMRAN #trees #forest #woods #nature #autumn #morning #walking #nature #NewYork #LongIsland #EastPatchogue (at East Patchogue, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CjdDieSuY8v/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[gender-trash]

last november/decemberish i made the egregious mistake of asking my dad if there were any out-of-print technical books he wanted me to print and bind as a christmas gift, especially given that i now have a wide-format printer; turns out the answer was "yes, many," and he sent me three crusty-ass pdfs of which i selected the least crusty.

however

it pains me, deep in my soul, to turn out a work product with my name on it that's That crusty, and some of the photos etc. (originally meant to be full-color) weren't parseable anymore. so i got my grubby hands on a copy of the original via interlibrary loan (there were EXACTLY three copies in the link+ system which covers a bunch of public and university libraries in the bay area, and i ended up with santa clara university's, which was kind of neat because Back In The Day i took a bunch of physics and math classes at SCU) and manually photographed every image in it on my phone (best camera i have). then i spent approximately the week prior to christmas in a deathmarch slog 1. de-skewing, color correcting, and pasting in all the photos in god's worst pdf editing software (xournal++), 2. retyping all the image captions (originally printed in this lovely dark red that got viciously mangled by b&w scanning) and screenshotting them + pasting them in, and 3. for those photos that are sufficiently clean or unimportant that i don't need to edit + paste in replacements, but that have large black areas in them, covering them in semitransparent white rectangles so i don't wind up printing big black areas on my poor inkjet.

needless to say, this is the worst, most tedious process i can think of except for actually re-typing and re-typesetting the entire book in latex, a process which tempts me every time i work on this albatross around my neck. i only got through part 1 of 5 before christmas so i gave my dad a different book (bought from the bookstore, like a loser) and the promise that i would Definitely have it done by his birthday.

and then i stopped working on it for several months because IT SUCKED AND I HATED IT SO MUCH

and then partway through april i was like "oh shit, his birthday is in two weeks". so now every evening is this cold war with myself where sometimes the project wins and i piddle through another section of part 2 and sometimes procrastination wins and i do a medieval twin-cord binding of my immortal. anyway his birthday was technically today but we are celebrating it next week so i have a LITTLE more time to get the bitch done

whenever i complain about it to my dad he's like "just give up!! just print it as-is!" (accompanied by profuse apologies because he didn't mean for me to go to anything like this much effort) and on the one hand it would feel like giving up but on the other hand i would be FREE OF THE ENDLESS TORMENT but on the third hand there would be a VERY visible delineation halfway through the book where you can tell i Just Didn't Care Anymore

[monbanana]

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Hello dosto, is video me maine brother hl-l2321d is model ki unboxing ki hai aur uske feature ke bare me jankari di hai.

I don't know if it will work with any windows phone. To reset the 'toner life end' / 'replace toner' message on brother hl monochrome black and white printers, open the front cover and leave it open while completing the following steps. The box was not in the best condition but the package inside was secure. Brother hl - l2321d unboxing and review best buy link below paytm. We have compiled a list featuring brother printer price in india that is sourced from various online sellers. Brother laser printer black horizontal lines. Latest printer, print results maybe affected. Thank you for purchasing your brother product! To reset the printer hl-l2321d in the sole proprietorship based on. Works well with my brother printer and ive given several prints with this toner.

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The xml paper specification printer driver is an appropriate driver to use with applications that support xml paper specification documents. Brother printers and all-in-ones p roduce high-impact documents with clear, rich colors and sharp images. The products sold by appario limited seller are good and is a reliable seller. Buy brother hl-l2321d ind single function monochrome printer only for rs. I also got ahold of brother tech support and went through a cleaning procedure for the drum units, which resolved the issue for a short time, but then got worse. Whether you re looking for a black & white printer, color laser printer, or 11x17 ledger printers, we can help you find the perfect device for all your needs! Cartridge recognition issues sometimes occur with compatible or genuine brother toner cartridges. Over the years, brother has won the if design award multiple times. There is great choice for all your product.

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Easily connect via built-in wireless networking, ethernet or usb interfaces plus wireless printing from mobile devices. There are there for their speed and support program bprsp. There are various other good printers, but you should choose according to your needs.

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How can i install brother printer hl-l2321d in ubuntu14.04? Learn about consumable supplies, accessories and options available for your product. We recommend inputting your Brother design name in the Printer name field for simple understanding.Download Now BROTHER PRINTER HL L23210 DRIVER The printer chauffeur’s name will be displayed in the Printer name field.Select the version name and click Next.If no home window shows up, go to Tip 7.When the complying with window appears, choose Brother from the Manufacturer listing.Select the model name and click Following.Click Hardware and Audio => Tools as well as Printers.

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(Visit this site to see how to open the Control board.). How to install Brother driver for Windows When the download is complete, click Close your web browser.You can access downloaded documents in the downloads folder.Then find the download button, Click Downloads.Find your OS Version, select your os version.Open a Web internet browser and search browser Printer Driver.

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How can I get Brother MFC-L2710DW Driver Download for Windows and Mac Brother MFC-L2710DW Compatibility with OS It is possible to send scanned images by email. And thanks to it, the digitization speed reaches 22.5 pages per minute in b/w and 7.5 in color. There is a single-sided ADF for 50 sheets, using which you will have to be content with a resolution of 600 × 600 dpi. Naturally, interpolation does not at all provide such a huge jump in quality as the corresponding figures are impressive. Along with the maximum hardware resolution of 1200 × 1200 dpi, the creators also announced the equivalent – up to 19200 × 19200 dpi. You can connect the Brother MFC-L2710DW via USB, wired, or wireless network and print, scan, copy, or fax. This easy-to-use and easy-to-set-up device deliver professional-quality prints, plus built-in wireless connectivity for printing from mobile phones and tablets. Brother MFC-L2710DW Driver, Download, Software, Manual, For Mac, Windows – The Brother MFC-L2710DW is ideal for the busy home and small office that needs a multifunction printer.

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In our latest project, we were tasked with developing a poster based on AIGA’s “Get out the Vote” campaign. We got to choose three quotes to develop into word maps and mood boards. The quotes I used to work on my maps were:

“Someone struggled for your right to vote. Use it.” — Susan B. Anthony

“We do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.” — Thomas Jefferson

“Voting is the expression of our commitment to ourselves, one another, this country, and this world.” — Sharon Salzberg

The world map and mood board that resonated the loudest in a small group was around the Jefferson quote and a lazy guy on a sofa and an idea of a butt print. With the sofa/butt print idea in hand, I began sketching out as many ideas as possible. Starting with a broken-down sofa and ending with a word spiral. Again, the butt-print idea moved forward toward the final design.

My red sofa, it’s a well-used sofa, the lip of the cushion just sort of falls off a cliff and that’s what I chose to photograph. Considering our dogs believe this sofa to be theirs getting them off to snap a photo was a major challenge until I took a very low-angle shot. Using this picture to set off the text was fun! A lot of rough drafts, over the next week, went from black and white to a desaturated color pick, and even when I thought I was done, an idea to set the W off in the same style as another famous Jefferson doc.

How do you think it turned out?

Also, bonus design with doggo.