#i got the upper hand here bc im gay :)

[lieswetell]

IFHY (Jordan Li x Alt!Reader) PT 1

Tags~ roommate au, enemies to lovers, alt reader, tattooed reader, slow burn, supe!reader, afab!fem!reader

Warnings~ angry sex, jordan might be a lil mean, porn w plot bc im freaky like that, drugs, alcohol, gay shit

Monday, August 7th

“It’s only one semester. This will be over before you know it,” Mia said.

You want to hear her out and try to be optimistic about the situation, but it’s complicated. Having your own dorm was rare in Godolkin. Students who did usually paid an ungodly amount for the extra privacy or were gifted one because of their current sponsors. For you, in your previous two years, it had been a mixture of both.

“This is bullshit.” You complain and have to force yourself not to roll your eyes at your phone.

Mia hadn’t done anything wrong. She was doing everything she could to get you what you wanted. However, it wasn’t playing out in your favor this time. You were still in your dorm, trying to cling on to that last bit of single dorm life you could, even though you were moments away from the move.

“Look. I love you, but there isn't anything else I can do. Some of these kids will probably be out in a few months.” Mia tried to help you look on the bright side of the situation.

You have yet to respond to what your assistant was telling you. Instead, you just kept looking around the now-empty dorm with a mournful gaze.

“Shetty says it’s a large roo-” Mia added.

“My room was plenty big enough,” You complained again. This time, the words came out in a sort of whine that would remind anyone else of a toddler.

 You got up from the floor and wiped your hands on your pants. After taking a deep breath, you closed the last bin in your room.

“One semester.”  You sighed.

“One semester,” Mia said, her voice a lot more positive than yours.

“When are you recording that video for-”

“Alright, look at the time the moving team is here. Can’t be late.” You cut her off and blew her a kiss before hanging up on her.

The moving team wasn’t anywhere near your room, and you knew that. If you focused, you could hear everyone in the building. There wasn’t a trace of dickheads with whistles anywhere near you.

The Godolkin University moving team usually consisted of sophomore students with too much strength to know where to put it. Many were from various clubs or programs that forced them to help incoming students. 

You started to stack your bins and luggage outside of your room on your own. Typically, the moving team would assist the students. Still, it was effortless for you to carry the items, and you thought if you looked around your dorm for any longer, you might burst into tears. That wasn’t very productive or good for your image if anyone were to see it. So you popped in your earbuds and started to lift the bins. When finished you put the label on your crate 465.

 With the headphones in your ears, you didn’t notice just how much more lively it was. Most of your floormates were in other single dorms with other upper-level students. So you would only really run into a few people if any, daily. With the influx of incoming students moving in, you would easily have trouble avoiding anyone. According to your assistant Mia, every dorm room was filled(yayyyy godolkin for not allowing students to live off campus).

After skipping an array of songs, Spotify somehow thought would suit your style, someone poked you on the shoulder.

“You’re 17#, right? Big fan, honest.”The boy said. Something you noticed everyone said after they wanted to snap a quick picture with someone. You couldn’t complain, though you had no proof this person was lying to you.

“Nice to meet you.” You said and copied the same amount of excitement. The perfect amount to seem genuine but still cool enough to feel above them in that weird way you can only get from social media. You extended your hand, and he shook it eagerly.

You didn't feel that way, of course. That’s just the game and how you needed to perform. All to get where you needed to be. Being a hero was a machine full of moving parts, and Mia has been training you since you were fourteen.

“Can I get a picture?” He asked, and you nodded before he could get the sentence out.

Always…

“Always always…” you answered happily. You quickly adjusted your hair and gave the boy a side hug.

The selfie came out nice. Cute and wholesome. You made sure he tagged you on the picture and used a few of your hashtags. You gazed around, wondering who was assisting him with the move. He just looked around at your bins before looking back up at you.

“Is there anything fragile in there?” He asked awkwardly. It seems he hadn't shaken off the nerves from meeting you. It was so silly to you. You weren’t Homelander or Queen Maeve.

“Yeah, the fragile stuff is in that box right there. Marked fragile in bold red tape…”

The boy then looked back at you with a look you couldn’t place. Before you could even realize what was about to happen, his arms stretched out to unnatural lengths as if he were made of rubber. He lifted all of your bins simultaneously. He wrapped and stacked them into the carts and secured them as if his arms were bungee cords. It was astonishing. You had never seen that power before, and although it was slightly disgusting, it was cool.

Just as you went to pat him on the back, a box on top crashed to the floor. You heard the glass shatter and knew instantly it was the fragile box he so kindly placed on top of everything to avoid it getting crushed. Just my luck. That was definitely the bong in there that you’ve had for a few years. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I've been stretched out all day. Things are starting to fall out.” he apologized genuinely.

“Lemme guess you are usually super tight?”

Your roommate was finished moving all of her things to the other side of the room. It definitely started as a struggle, but after a bit of time, Jordan started to get the hang of it. Early in the process, he was just bitching to himself about having to do this in the first place. He didn't really have anyone to complain about it to. His friends were rooming with each other, and he was the only one stuck rooming with a new person.

 His parents didn't understand his frustrations, and instead, they were just happy he would be rooming with a girl. Jordan tried explaining his irritation to Brink, but that was also a no-go. All Brink did was reframe the situation by saying it could somehow make Jordan a better hero.

“Are there seriously no fucking quads in this place?” Jordan complained to no one.

He sat on his loveseat on his couch and scrolled on his phone. He debated not being in the room when his new roommate arrived. Jordan heard that people had done that, but he was too nervous to do it himself. What if you stole something? What if you wanted to put your stuff on his side? Maybe you were a weird freshman? Or worse, a fan of him?

He sat back on the couch. His feet were planted firmly in front of him, and he scrolled on his phone. It was a position he often found himself in. In this form, his feet were actually able to reach the floor when he sat all the way back on the couch comfortably. In the other one, her feet dangled and gave off a less intimidating look than the one he was currently in.

There was a soft knock on the door. Jordan rolled his eyes and stayed in his position. Why would he open the door? If they were supposed to be moving in, they surely would have a key, right? He looked at his door open. Jordan wasn’t really sure what to expect to be standing in the doorway. 

When the ugly beast finally reared its head, Jordan finally exhaled. He hadn’t realized he was holding his breath until you waved at him.

“Hi” You said

It’s all you can offer him at the moment. The little helper you had assisting you barged in soon after you greeted Jordan. Jordan didn't even say anything to you. He just looked at you from his spot on the loveseat then his eyes trailed over to the freshman who couldn’t maintain eye contact with you.

“Looks like! Holy shit Jordan”

“Yeah.” He just nodded, confirming that he was indeed Jordan Li

The freshman stood awkwardly with your things and stared at Jordan. The interaction was just already a lot weirder than it needed to be. So you stood at the door and tried to think of a way to intervene in the impromptu staring contest.

“Thanks. You can just leave it right here. I can do the rest.” You thanked him with a big smile

With another resounding crash, he let go of the bins, and you winced. Jordan even was taken aback by the sound and rolled his eyes

“Are you sure, ma’am?” he asked 

He sounded genuine even though he treated your belongings like they were indestructible. You buffered for a moment and realized what he said

“Ma’am? How old do you think- never mind, just leave thanks.” You shooed him away and exhaled softly

“Bye”

He watched you. You unpacked your things, and he stayed put and just watched you. He was cycling through so many things in his head. Being so last minute, this situation didn't give him any time to prepare. The only thing he did was clean and move his shit to one side of the room. He was grateful that he could at least recognize you from the ranking. The unknown was scary like that. Jordan knows you have been slowly climbing your way to the top. Your reputation was squeaky clean. Your brand was sweet, innocent, and confident. 

Your brand didn't mean he trusted you, though. Anyone with more than two fucking brain cells at this school knew that your ‘brand’ or ‘online presence’ meant absolutely nothing. Just because you waltz in here with your big smile and wave doesn't mean he will let his guard down. Roommate or not, you still had the potential to be a big fucking dick.

“Yeah, just don’t touch any of my shit, and we should be fine.” Jordan said without looking up from his phone.

He sat comfortably slumped on the sofa. The uninterested appearance he’s in pissed you off. Oh, so he’s just like this? You could do this, though. You wouldn’t let him see that you were frustrated. People like him lived off of that shit, and you wouldn’t give him what he wanted. You just nodded and gave him another smile, one real enough to be convincing.

“I understand. You do have some nice things. Probably wouldn’t want anyone getting into it either.” You said in that cheerful voice that you had been trained to perfect. 

That time, Jordan did look at you. He was now thoroughly annoyed and over the roommate situation. In his eyes, he tried. In the twenty minutes you had been in the room, Jordan considered everything he had done ‘trying’. This situation wouldn’t work, though. He just wasn’t built to share rooms with a random person.

-

-

-

Wednesday, September 27th

“Jesus Christ, do you ever fucking fucking knock?!” Jordan shouted

You did knock. You dented the door to your room because you were banging on the door for about ten minutes. You even shot Jordan a few texts saying when you would return to the dorm. Of course, she hadn’t responded to any of them; she never did.

So you said fuck it and broke the lock on your door and walked into the room. Jordan was riding some junior in her bed. The sight wasn’t new to you, so you were unfazed. Seemingly to you, Jordan never really cared about you seeing her naked. It was more of the fact you were interrupting her that was the problem. In the two months you have been rooming with Jordan, you have walked in on her having sex four times.

The first time, it came as a shocker. You squealed and covered your eyes, immediately leaving the room and shooting her a few apology texts. When you left, Jordan just continued on like it was nothing. Like you were just a temporary pause. This time wasn’t like that. You walked in and closed the door behind you.

So you waved at the man who was underneath Jordan on the bed. He looked at you with a confused look, then turned to look back at Jordan, who was bewildered.

“You're not usually my type, but I think I could be down for both of you,” The man said, then looked back up at Jordan curiously.

You just walked toward your desk, sat down, and started up your laptop.

She climbed off him and huffed, “Get out”.

Then the man shuffled awkwardly around the room and tried to pick up his clothes. He slipped the condom off and didn't know what to do with it, so he tried to hand it to Jordan. She pointed towards the door, so he just nodded and held it as he left the room. His clothes were still crumpled in his other hand, covering his dick. You shook your head slightly, knowing that type of thing was far too normalized in this school.

“Do you purposely do that?” Jordan asked you sharply. It was more of an accusation. He barely spoke to you, and when he did, it was always intending to fight.

“Do what?” You asked and logged into the Godolkin portal.

“Wait until I’m using the room to appear out of thin air” She complained and stepped closer to you.

Whenever Jordan spoke to you, it was like they were a nagging little voice that you had to physically restrain yourself from losing your cool with. You didn’t want to risk an argument with Jordan, no matter how much of a bitch she was. It just wasn’t worth it. It would be optimistic to think that Jordan wouldn’t somehow get you lousy press from the situation. It was also optimistic of you to think that one day, Jordan would just stop trying to fight the fact that they would have to live with someone.

Every day you felt like you were seconds from Jordan finally saying fuck it and starting beef with you publicly just to fuck up your rank. Being ranked seventeen wasn’t the best you could be, but to most people, being in the top one hundred was quite an accomplishment. Job security was a hard thing for supes to find, and you weren’t going to fuck up your brand just because Jordan was having a bad day.

“Oh, please. I texted you, Jordan. Multiple times,” It came out with a little more emotion than you intended. Patience wasn’t your strength today.

“You didn’t,” She said flatly.

You huffed and pulled your phone out of your bag. When you pulled up the text chain to show her. You looked away awkwardly when she turned around to grab her phone. For some reason seeing her ass suddenly felt invasive, although she was so chill about it. Once again, she was more pissed about the fact she didn't cum.

“That’s not even my number.” She showed you her Apple ID and rolled your eyes.

“Who’s fault is that?” You asked her this time; your tone couldn’t have been mistaken for anything but annoyed.

Jordan realized what she did and grabbed your phone out of your hand. You scoffed at the action and tried to snatch it back, but she was faster than you. Probably in both forms, unfortunately. Jordan just updated the contact info and handed you back your phone(which you snatched out of her hands immediately).

“You could’ve knocked,” Jordan said, and you did a sharp inhale.

You looked up at her, then back down at your phone at the updated info. It was hard not for you to be pissed about the fact he lied to you. So many arguments could’ve been avoided, but of course, she couldn’t even give you her number.

“I did. For about ten minutes. Maybeyouweretoobusycreamingondicktohearaboutit” 

The words came out as a rushed whisper. The struggle of trying to hold your anger was starting to become not only a mental challenge but a physical one.

“What did you say?”Jordan asked. This time, he almost seemed kind of excited, which didn't help you calm your nerves in the slightest.

“The locks broken, by the way. You locked me out, so I had to break it open. I’ll schedule a maintenance worker to check it out around five,” You told him. The facade was back up. You were no longer spewing attitude at him.

The maintenance request was sent, and Jordan was left confused at the sudden change in demeanor. He was excited for a second that it seemed you finally had a moment of real fucking emotion with him. Jordan would much rather be alone in his dorm, but your unwavering positivity threw him off more than he intended.

Jordan could recall a few times he would complain and rant about you to his friends during smoke seshes. It had only been two months, but he felt like he wasn’t even rooming with a natural person. Something about you was too perfect, too clean, just all around, too bland. He was excited to talk to a person for that quick moment there. It's not the brand you posted for everyone to see. 

He went back to the other side of the room in defeat. He sat on top of his bed. Jordan never stopped looking at you. You slipped up, and maybe that gave him hope(he would never admit it).

“I need the room at five,” Jordan said.

You furrowed your brows and looked over at the calendar on the wall. Each day that passed, scribbled out with a blue Sharpie. You shook your head and looked over at him.

“You have class. It’s Wednesday,” You said matter of factly.

Jordan rolled his eyes and mumbled

.“No, I don’t.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at him. He could be so petty sometimes for no reason, and this was one of those moments.

“Did you just disagree with me just because?” You asked him.

Jordan couldn’t think of a comeback or words to say. You talked to him in that weirdly positive tone despite clearly being irritated with him again. Maybe his dick twitched a little, but he ignored that.

“Jordan, put some clothes on, okay?” 

“Fuck you”

“Your dick is out”

“Have a great day”

Maintenance fixed the door problem by 5:13 pm. It was a simple fix. A new doorknob was installed, but a couple of dents from your early frustration remained a reminder. Afterward, you were alone in your dorm, struggling to wait forty minutes to join a lecture.

  It was a struggle not to nod off in front of your computer. Online classes always felt like a good idea when you signed up for them, but you soon realized they were a trap. It is a carefully crafted trap for you to waste your time on the course because you couldn't keep your eyes open long enough to listen to your professor drone on about the importance of… You fell asleep.

You needed the relief anyway. It was a struggle to keep holding up the illusions you were. The influx of incoming students fucked you over. Having a roommate who hated you meant you were always using your powers. You couldn’t trust him not to try and ruin your brand. The only times you would have a break from having to cast an illusion was when Jordan was out doing whatever the fuck he did besides training and sulking.

Illusions fell around you—your side of the room that was once pale blue and pink warped into black and purple. Your hair, which once seemed to be tied tightly in a bun, fell around your shoulders. The pink sweater you wore was replaced with a black hoodie you had for years. The illusions you had concealing your tattoos shattered. The ink from your arm sleeve peaked out from the wrist of your hoodie.

-

-

-

“Who are you texting?”Andre asked 

It was late. Jordan sat on the couch in his friends' dorm and tried not to be bitter that there were only three bedrooms. He typed in his phone, angry you weren’t responding. Why does he have to deal with this? He’s pretty sure when he leaves that, all three of them just crash in the living room in a pile like cavepeople anyways. Andre’s room was always too fucking clean for anyone to actually stay in there.

He leaned over on the couch to try and take a peak at Jrdan’s phone. Jordan leaned away, mildly irritated with his friend. Andre just shrugged and made a face at Cate. Cate rolled her eyes, already knowing where this conversation was going to go. It was the only thing Jordan talked about the past couple of weeks.

“My hell of a roommate,” Jordan complained and rolled his eyes.

You hadn’t responded to the last ten texts he sent. He was trying to be better to you. He might've felt a bit guilty about giving you the wrong number for that long. So now he was trying to do what you would have done for him. He planned on bringing the same guy from earlier back over, but you wouldn’t respond to him.

“Oh, she cant be that bad?” Cate said, trying to be positive about the situation.

“Cute, you guys are texting,” Andre whispered.

Jordan heard him, however, and switched. Before Andre had a chance to react, Jordan slapped him in the back of the head. The touch was light but quick. Andre chuckled softly and then raised both of his hands.

“Well, I’m trying to tell her I'm on my way back to the dorm. Might need it in a few,” Jordan explained and put his phone away.

“Why do you look so stressed?” Luke asked.

To be honest, he was the only one not caught up on the whole Jordan hating her roommate thing. He thought she would get over it in a week, but clearly, that wasn’t the case. Jordan still hated you basically for existing at this point. Luke tried to lock in on the situation, but he was still pretty high from the session that just ended.

“She isn’t fucking responding,” Jordan whined.

“It’s fine. It’s only been like ten minutes,” Luke stated.

Luke’s eyes looked around the room for whatever the fuck he was missing. Cate just laughed beside him.

“Since the last text I sent. I texted her five hours ago,” Jordan added, her arms crossed in front of her.

“It’s probably nothing,” Luke assured her, although he didn't understand why the situation was that. 

Serious. Cate understood it, though. Even if, at the time, Jordan didn’t understand, she could have seen it already. Cate had a weird way of just knowing.

“Yeah, what are you so worried about?”Andre asked, raising his eyebrows in a suggestive way.

Jordan looked away and flipped him off. Cate and Andre shared another look, and Jordan wanted to flip the couch over. She didn’t though

“Fuck off, Dre.”

“Who is she again? Freshman?” Cate asked

“No, junior.” Jordan answered.

“Who is it?”Luke asked, hoping that maybe that would explain Jordan’s frustration.

When Jordan answered, none of them had much of a reaction, which wasn’t very satisfying for Jordan. Andre didn’t even know who you were talking about(he didn't pay attention to the rankings much). Cate just nodded, taking in the info. It was always funny to her how the most liked people could be some of the worst. Luke didn't run with Jordan’s opinion of her roommate. He knew how dramatic Jordan could sometimes be, and he was pretty sure she would've hated any roommate she was assigned to just because they were an inconvenience to Jordan.

Jordan didn't like the feeling of being interrogated, so the hangout was cut shorter than normal. Once she answered one question, it was like he opened Pandora’s box of bullshit, and everyone wouldn’t get the spotlight off of her. So, she gave up on reaching out to the guy from earlier and instead was banging on the door of her dorm room like a mad woman.

“Dude, open the fucking door!”Jordan shouted.

He didn't want to break the door again, but the longer he stood outside, the more appealing of an idea it became. Inside the dorm, you were still fast asleep at your desk. The exhaustion from overusing your powers took a severe toll on your body. You had been out cold the entire time. All illusions previously placed on you and your things were deactivated.

“C’mon, this is really petty. Just open up.” Jordan said again, but you couldn’t hear him.

A hard alarm sounded in your ear. You shook your head awkwardly, then scrambled to check your laptop.

Take your pill

You nodded and stood up to take your birth control. You made it three steps before you fell because of the loud bang at your door. Shit. Jordan’s voice yelled something behind the door that you couldn’t quite make out at the moment. All you knew was that you needed to hurry and get all the illusions back up. You waved your hands a bit, trying to tap into Jordan’s psyche once you were confident enough that the illusions were back up, and you dry-swallowed your birth control and made your way to the door.

Act normal

“Hey, sorry I got caught up in studying?” You answered the door with a smile.

“Fine, whatever. I texted you, though.” Jordan looked at you, partially confused

It didn't make sense to him. You went hours without answering him, and your excuse was that you got caught up studying. What the fuck? You didn’t even look tired? Jordan hated you. You closed the door behind him and sat on your bed.

[dykeomania]

Mia please I need advice on how to build a roster or even start going on dates w other women in the first place like I swear I’m not a loser I just don’t know where to start. For context I’m a femme lesbian who likes butches/mascs ….any advice will be appreciated thank u kindly ……

okay i am so bad at answering asks but i'm gonna try to give you a rundown and tell you some stuff based off of my experience

so i'm like pretty feminine presenting i guess (i dress "comfortably," tomboyish, idk), would not say i lean strictly masculine in terms of how i present myself. i keep my options pretty open. uhhh, i'm american, so i use like. dating apps in america. i'm 20. waves my hands. yktv ok just some context.

dating apps are fun. get into dating apps. i like hinge because you can set your location to wherever you want and it's free and that been be super useful if you happen to live in a small town or any place that doesn't have a big lesbo community. pro is that you can set your location wherever you want (set it to mass or anywhere in the upper northeast, bitches are gay as fuck up here -- by like uvm, mount holyoke, downtown boston, or new york, pennsylvania too surprisingly). con is that you can set it to anywhere you want, and that might put you in a long-medium distance situation so be ready for that/mindful of that or just have a car.

i would say that hinge is also good because it learns your taste after a while. so if you only swipe on masculine presenting women, then it'll pick up on that after a while and begin to only show you women who are masculine presenting. pretty cool

going on dates, and flirting with women. im not gonna say too much here bc you said you're not a loser so i think you got it but generally speaking like, when it comes time and you've got a girl in your dms and let's say you're somewhat close, don't hold back. if you catch a vibe, you can be like heyyyy im gonna be in your cityyyy dadadada we should go for coffee. let's link, let's do something. or let them know, and be like we should do something, and let them make the plans. keep them held to that. and by this point like, definitely make sure that 1) you know this person is real obvi 2) you've exchanged #s /socials with them, or at least after you've agreed to go on a date -- this is a me thing, it makes things feel a little more set in stone for me personally. and do not just settle for casual hookups. some women will hit you up on some like, oh let's just link or makeout or come to my dorm, and if that's your jam, i would say go for it but i would also caution you. however, if you want more than that there are a hundred percent women who are more than willing to like, take you ice skating, take you on a picnic, go for a walk somewhere, etc. don't settle. be patient, but don't settle

and when it comes to dating generally speaking, define your boundaries. say what it is that you want, and honor that, and honor what the other person wants as well. things may change, but it's important to make sure that everyone is on a good playing field before you really delve into things past like, a first date. things can be casual still obviously after the second date, third date, what may have you, however, but again, good comunication is important so just make sure that y'all are on the same page even if it's just casual and you're feeling things out. like, are you exclusive? do you wanna be? if you're gonna kiss at the end of your dates, make sure you both know what that means, if anything at all? etc.

and i guess the last and perhaps the most unhelpful thing is like, just keep your options very broad in terms of where you're looking but i'd also encourage you to be careful. i met some girls on my roster through like, a social media app meant for college students that i downloaded bc of my school (yik yak, dead ass). people pop up from anywhere.

i hope this was helpful. i kinda wanna say more but im trying to find things to say and it is hard because i am so sleepy

[mifunebooty]

Quaranmemes for quarantine

Tagged by @hvngryheart to do this and may i say: thank you ❤

When was the last time you left your home:

I dont consider my outside contact with society unless i go somewhere from a motor vehicle so that was yesterday, i had to go to an atm to send my brother a card since we can't go see him and i needed to get diet coke

What was the last thing you bought?

Aside from thor ragnarok off an eBay bid, it was diet coke, pizza and swiss rolls

Is quarantine driving you crazy or are you finally relaxed?

I was finally becoming relaxed considering but :)))) from what happened today, im going fucking nuts! I wanna be alone in public! I wanna be in the library! Outside! Smell the air! I wanna apply for jobs again! Yo quiero!

Who are you spending quarantine with?

My mom and my dog. Both who are driving me crazy.

Do you have any pets to keep you company?

Yes

What are your current responsibilities?

I have online class and even though im dropping out of a class, im still busy with school. I go to the mailbox, wash the dishes and clothes and put them away and the minute i don't clean up something (as apparently showed today), suddenly everything blows up on me. So fuck dirt.

Do you have a room to yourself?

I do, i always leave the door open bc its a habit but im alone when my mom goes to work

Are you exercising?

Not as much as i want to bc unfortunately when school came back, it's distracted me and house work has distracted me but hey im still trying to do weights and cardio

Town, country or city?

City, baby!!

How's your toilet paper supply?

I got 2 rolls, im good

What's the worst thing you had to cancel?

Campus!!!! I miss the calm serenity and softness of the library and the brown carpet and the printers and my corner spot behind the magazine shelves and i miss the tiny basket next the computer with scrap paper and mini sharpened pencils and the free dvds to order every week and free food on campus they offer and even the coloring spot...

What's the best thing you had to cancel?

Visiting my brother lmfaaaooo i like visiting him! He lives in the country and i see cows every time i go but every time we go, my mom finds time to give me the classic what are you doing with your life lecture so ahh the beautiful absence of not getting that :)

Who do you miss the most?

You know who i miss? The librarians who are so sweet and never show any judgement i order 3-5 dvds a week, i miss their kindness... And their dvds. I miss seeing humans.

Do you have any hobbies?

Uh. I moisturize twice a day. There u go.

What are you watching the most?

I watch shows during the week and watch movies on the weekend, im watching Brooklyn 99 and kimmy schmidt and watcher and bfu and if the lord still hates me, eventually mad men on my own phone!

Are you still going to work?

I was looking for work before this happened lmfaaaooo

What are you out of?

Reasons to come out to my mom just so she can finally be quiet from shock bc all she's doing now is making up drama with me just bc she can so i wanna one up her, bananas and reasons not to beat my meat besides i fell asleep

Have you made any changes to your hair?

Not yet but I PLAN TO :D anyways

Tagging @buddyhollyscurls @oscarisaacminipig @whistle-notes @shesnake @gwendolinechristie @ladytron1972 @blairwitchh

[adamsvanrhijn]

not to be very annoying, but do you happen to know any good books/resources about lgbt slang/identities in victorian/edwardian/etc england? (i mean, things such as lesbians calling each other "toms" and the like). don't worry if you don't know any, but i just figured i'd ask since this was kinda in your Area Of Interest so you might know some off the top of your head.

the not annoying at all but this is a more complex question than at first glance hahaha

TL;DR: there are many types of queer language / we have way more info about men, who have their own lexicon / this era is widely seen as the era in which the concept of identity is actually coming into play / books list at the end, scroll down til you reach bolded text if you don’t want my commentary.

so when you’re looking at mid 19th - interwar lgbt communities, whether in europe or the uk or the usa it doesn’t really matter bc this is quite universal, you’ve got at least three registers, for lack of an easier word:

how self-identified homosexual, inverted, queer, abnormal etc men (henceforth gay men) speak with each other

how self-identified “” women (henceforth lesbian women) speak with each other

interactions between these groups

these naturally intersect with other socioeconomic class factors.

back to england specifically:

despite legal considerations gay men have the most agency and ability to move around and therefore are more likely to interact with each other and form communities. so now you have additional registers:

upper middle / upper class

middle / lower middle / working class (more registers here but nobody asked me and i promise i will give you recs soon)

again, interactions between them

the latter category has limited applications; most of them have to do with prostitution or casual sex and tend to be about categorizing people in terms of what sex acts they participate in. (this is universally true of most forms of gay slang and/or their origins for obvious reasons) think locker room talk. OR, we’re looking at cross class relationships and how other people view members of cross class relationships. not to generalize bc there are other things than this but what is best documented here is the upper class pov of these interactions

for the first category there is much less slang & unique community language, when you look at letters and works of literature etc etc people are picking and choosing from both medical/psychiatric terminology, which is developing rapidly from the 1860s on, and like, classical works; you get a lot of alluding to things. artistic communities (bloomsbury group, natalie clifford barney’s harem in paris and what have you) meanwhile are sort of all over the map. but bc this isn’t Polite Society talk, most of the sources for this kind of language tend to be limited in scope. which is true for all subculture language really but like in this case, authors of the day who are writing what they know are we think giving a pretty accurate picture of what their actual communities were like... but it’s put through a filter for publication.

by the 20th century urban working class gay men in certain circles are using polari, a subcultural lexicon which came from mid/late 19th century theatre and music hall slang, which came from fairground cant, seafaring , labor slang, Yiddish, cockney, theatre slang, fishmarkets, French, Italian, underground crime rings literally i could go on and there’s lots of debate about this. it’s turn of the century when it comes to be used very widely within the gay community, and while its origins are in london it made it to other uk urban centres fairly quickly. this lasted well into the latter half of the 20th century and is the base for a lot of community slang today, which leads me to

lesbian women, who also used polari, albeit to a lesser extent. these were primarily lesbians who were also in the 3rd camp above - ones who are involved in the community and interacting w/ gay men regularly. (”straight women who work in theatre” is another category of woman polari speakers haha but performance slang went thru many changes and eventually things got p separate so you had fairground & theatre cant and gay subculture slang having similar roots but very distinct in usage)

for lesbian communities the same thing as w gay men applies for the upper classes just to a lesser degree due to the relative lack of a community experienced by women

but a very important point here is that, ESPECIALLY during the victorian period, less so moving into the 20th century, intimate relationships between women are viewed very, very differently than those between men - male relationships have hard and fast boundaries of what is and isnt acceptable, those of women do not. 

the development of identity w/ sexuality for women i think in many ways had a lot more to do with women who expressed their gender differently than women who had intimate exclusive relationships w/ other women 

anyway the point is there unfortunately is no like comprehensive text for All Queer Language at this point in time, nor for the development of sexual identity, and the nature of this field (linguistics + history + sociology about queer stuff) means that a lot of the good work is in academic articles which i do NOT know off the top of my head. :-( but here’s some stuff !!

LIST OF THE ACTUAL BOOKS SORRY ABOUT ALL THAT

ok so these are all nonfiction, mostly academic nonfiction, but i want to stress that contemporary literature is a REALLY good way to get a (often rose tinted but not always) look into subculture and there are many novels that play with and/or poke at the ongoing development of sexual identity, especially in edwardia, especially especially in the 1920s, so if youve got endless time to read on your hands it is absolutely worth poking around there.

i have a list in the works of 1920s literature that has lgbt stuff in it and i realise thats a bit late for you but even so!!

also: compilations of letters, memoirs, etc are like super super invaluable 

anyway ive bolded the most important ones:

Kosofsky Sedgwick, Eve. Epistemology of the Closet. 1990. University of California Press. [required lgbt theory reading, literally the foundation for soooo much]

Marcus, Sharon. Between Women: Friendship, Desire, and Marriage in Victorian England. 2007. Princeton University Press.

Robb, Graham. Strangers: Homosexual Love in the Nineteenth Century. 2003. [this is like, functionally prerequisite reading for any gay male stuff for the 19th century & robb is an excellent popular historian who also has an actual academic background]

Rupp, Leila J. Sapphistries: A Global History of Love between Women. 2008. NYU Press.

Russett, Cynthia. Sexual Science: The Victorian Construction of Womanhood. 1989. Harvard University Press. [touches on things but is not About sexuality/identity]

these are both already on my downton abbey research list but they both discuss language thruout and identity very thoroughly:

Brady, Sean. Masculinity and Male Homosexuality in Britain, 1861-1913. 2005. Palgrave Macmillan.

David, Hugh. On Queer Street: A Social History of British Homosexuality 1895-1995. 1997. HarperCollins.

for polari, see basically everything paul baker’s done. the 2019 might be the most accessible but i havent read it yet:

Baker, Paul. Fantabulosa: A dictionary of Polari & gay slang. 2002. London: Continuum.

Baker, Paul. Polari: The Lost Language of Gay Men (Routledge Studies in Linguistics). 2002. London: Routledge.

Baker, Paul. Fantabulosa! The Story of Polari, Britain’s Secret Gay Language. 2019. London: Reaktion.

while it predates the era youre asking about, this book is good reading that leads up to the changes of the victorian era in sexual morality & how that affects identity and language:

Donoghue, Emma. Passions Between Women: British Lesbian Culture 1668–1801. 1995. HarperCollins.

also i hate to do this but like. foucault lol. obviously not focused on britain but very much focused on the development of identity and sexuality. 

ive been working on this for like three straight hours im gonna go eat lunch now

[rainbowpotatocakes21]

it has its perks too😌💅🏼✨

ok but being out feels so good🥺

[cristallsnoww]

i saw dear evan hansen livee (review)

i meant to post this sooner but school was busy so here i am

this was the national tour in sac

i went w/ my sisters and my friend plus her siblings

i had upper balcony seats, i wish i got to see it closer, but i’m grateful they even came to my city uwu

let’s get to it~

STAGE & INSTRUMENTAL

*the stage was same as the og

* the projection of the social media posts were a good touch for the bg

* the lights were good too, the bg would change color (orange in sincerely me, pink in only us)

* the sound effects sounded real

* the lights were glowing the same as the the beat in good for you

* the way all of them kept walking around looking at “social media posts” on the projection bgs in some songs

* showing evan’s speech on the bg and the videos for the connor project too

* we can see the musicians bc they had a balcony where you can see a few of them

* the sound and instrumental were sounded real (guitar and piano)

* props to the musicians

ACTING:

* sam primack played evan

* he was super good !

* he portrayed evan well, the anxiety and all

* he gave a young fresh vibe of evan

* the panic in his voice, the sobbing and sniffing were so well acted

* evan looking lost in waving through a window

* the “WOOOOOOAAAHHHH” at the end of waving through a window

* them high notes in for forever and words fail tho 👌🏼

* “i’M NOT hYpERVenTILaNG!!” and then “Dear Connor Murphy..”

* when he dropped the note cards in you will be found

* he kept apologizing and picked them up w/ a small voice

* he sat on the ground for a while and starts to have a breakdown

* he tugs his knees and sobs there 😢

* when he walked up and KNEELED DOWN in only us, zoe was sitting on the bed, it was at evan’s verse, he went up to her and kneeled w/ both knees while singing + staring into her eyes singing “so it can be us~ it can be us and oooonly us~ and what came before won’t count anymore or matter we can try that~”

* that was unexpected by me since the only version i saw was the og broadway performance and it didn’t have that which rlly knocked my socks off

* the sloppy kissing tho 😔👌🏼✨

* he’s so LoUD in act 2, like damn he went all out

* his voice was squeaky/cracked from broken sobs at some points

* the way he looked so StResSed & shouting when talking to jared and alana before good for you

* his begging when connor took his letter and when alana posted the “suicide note” so painful but good

* also the way evan always wiped his hands on his pants when zoe would stick her hand out

* how panicky he was when he freaked out that zoe was gonna “break up” w/ him

* their chemistry honestly 😭💙

* he also said a lot “what do you means” throughout the show i noticed

* his lines in good for you w/ heidi, jared, and alana singing in bg were so overwhelming but in a good way

* just an overall fresh, awkward, anxious vibe to him 😔💙

* noah kieserman played connor

* his voice reminded me of the og broadway

* the face connor gave at cynthia when larry and zoe said he was high

* the way he play punches evan in sincerely me

* the choreo in sincerely me is so iconic

* “if i stop smoking POT then everything might be alright”

* he was snapping when he sang that which i thought was new lol

* that dance they did for “our friendship goes beyond..” between connor and evan

* “..your average kind of bond” they had their arms around their shoulders and stared into their eyes before evan said “BUt not Bc we’Re gAY-“

* living for treebros moments y’know

* his high notes in disappear tho

* “when you’re falling in a forest, and there’s nobody around, all you need is for somebody to find you..”

* evan was crouching down and connor crouched next to him when he sang

* “when you’re falling in a forest, aND WhEN YoU hIT THe GrOUNd,,ALL YOU NEED IS FOR SOMEBODY TO FIND YOUUUU~”

* he stands up and reaches his hand before leaving the stage

* one of my fave lines in deh honestly

* “did you fall? or did you let go?” will always hit

* “you can’t even tell yourself the truth” also

* when evan told the truth and the murphys left the living room, they showed connor too and he also left walking away w/ disappointment/pity

* zoe was played by stephanie la rochelle

* she was good and sounded nearly the same as the og broadway/laura

* the way how zoe was nice in the beginning to evan, distant to him at first in her house about connor, then slowly opens up to him and accepts him for who he is is just 🤧

* in for forever, “there’s nothing that we can’t discuss, like girls we wish would notice us but never do” evan looks at zoe and dramatically clears his throat and continues singing

* in if i could tell her, when evan said “he thought you looked rlly pretty ER-you looked pretty COOL when you had indigo streaks in your hair” she says “he did!” and evan says really fast “he dID AHAHAHAHAH”

* it made the theatre laugh and same

* the intro to only us “i need something for me”

* “i want...you”

* 🤧🤧🤧😭😫💙💙💙

* just;;;;;; i cry

* the way zoe would hold evan’s hands and the way evan would hold zoe’s hands—

* how she and evan would copy each other’s tone of voice

* “ᵗʰᵃⁿᵏ ʸᵒᵘ” “ᵈᵒⁿ’ᵗ ᵐᵉⁿᵗᶦᵒⁿ ᶦᵗ”

* “you’re so weeeeeird.” “i knooooww.”

* i love me so bandtrees ok, my crops have been watered and is flourishing

* jared was played by alessandro costantini

* his portrayal was accurate to the og

* “i have skills son”

* his laughs were A++, especially in sincerely me

* his evil maniac laugh in the sincerely me reprise

* he was so smol compared to evan and connor, especially during sincerely me

* vocals were gr8 in sincerely me and you will be found

* the dance w/ connor when he tried to put himself into the story

* he runs so fast to the stage when his parts came, tiny lil quick feet uwu

* he tilts his head a lot when giving evan the ‘duh’ face

* we all live for his sarcasm and jokes

* “do you need a paper bag? you’re having a considerable trouble time breathing—“

* the bitterness/sad look when evan says he doesn’t have any other friends/when zoe comes up and kisses evan

* my kleinsen heart 🤧💔

* alana was played by ciara alyse harris

* she was more lively than the og but sounded exactly similar

* she acted well, her vocals and the way she exaggerated words

* vocals in good for you 👏🏼

* alana singing “on the outside always looking in will i ever be more than i’ve always been cuz i’m tap tap tapping on the glass, i’m waving through a windoww”

* “very close acquaintances”

* all the titles + positions she gives herself in the connor project video

* while evan said he was just co-president

* murphys were played by claire rankin and john menphill

* cynthia had some light raspy voice? it was interesting

* larry sounded the same as the og

* the way they hugged each other so tight in you will be found and the lights were all on them T-T

* high vocals in requiem

* cynthia’s thank yous to evan

* break in a glove had some good vocals too

* when connor’s “suicide note” was posted around and “YOU ARE NOT ALONE” kept singing while the murphys were looking lost and afraid

* opposite to the other soft “you are not alone” while the murphy parent were hugging

* heidi was played by jessica e. sherman

* she was good, close to the og

* her gestures and little dances to evan to cheer him up

* she SNAPPED after going to the murphys house

* “DO YOU KNOW HOW MORTIFYING IT IS TO KNOW THAT YOUR SON WAS SPENDING TIME AT SOMEONE ELSE’s HOUSE AND YOU DIDNT EVEN KNOW?”

* her good for you performance was great

* during the bridge, “i’ll shut my mouth and i’ll let you go..”

* she STRUTTED that walk ok ✨ w/ all the lights on her

* so big/small was calming w/ the guitar

* the way they hugged u~u

* “when it all feels so big!” teasing evan saying he’s growing after they hugged

* he laughs 🥺 w/ a cracked voice from crying

* all the family fighting were so real, the shouting, the raising of voices

im so grateful i got to see it, such an emotional ride 😔💙

i hope people who wants to see it gets to see it, you’ll be blessed

or should i say you will be found

[theshinsun]

1. as far as im concerned Kagami never left at the end of last game, that was an extended dream sequence... 2. i also totally agree with you that Kagami is prolly vers, if anything, and it was also MY PET PEEVE when people pinholed him into being a forever bottom at the peak of knb hype. 3. you keep teasing your long list of ships for Aomine PLEASE do him for the character thing lol. So far all your opinions are sending me into a realm of GOOD VALID VIBES

Omg thank you!! (I agree end of Last Game is not canon… or if it is he came right back the next year or smth I refuse to accept he just left forever. And I’m really glad to see the problem of Uke™ Kagami seems to be in decline these days… fewer people are writing for knb in general, but those that are seem to have an idea what a real gay relationship is or at least make him a fucking person and not a walking stereotype, and that’s encouraging to see). 

Also thanks so much for sending Aomine! …Strap in for this character essay tho I’ve been known to never shut up about this boy once you get me started.

How I feel about this character

I honestly… can’t even explain it anymore or even try to justify it but Aomine has had a bigger impact on me than, I think, any other character I’ve seen to date. I don’t even know what it is, I do relate to him (and project on him *cough*) but like, there are other characters out there that I have more in common with, and I like his whole arc and aesthetic but it’s nothing revolutionary, so… your guess is as good as mine. 

Whatever it is, I’ve been obsessed with this guy for over half a decade, and lately even as the KNB fandom falls into decline, my feelings are not they’re just getting stronger. His development over the course of the series is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever seen, (that one bit at the end of the Touou/Seirin game with “I want to practice” and his later conversation with Kuroko hit me in the fucking chest every time), and I love how even though he’s portrayed as cold, uncaring and rude, it’s still understood (at least by anyone with some nuance) that that’s not what he’s supposed to be like, and underneath the distant, kind of dickish front, he’s hurting a lot. I’ve talked about the degree to which he cares about people before too, but I still have to give a mention to the ferocious level of protectiveness this guy has for his friends. I could go on about him for ages, tbh, and maybe someday I will write a for-real structured essay to try to get it out there, but the bottom line is I love this character, I have for a long time, and likely will continue to do so long into the future.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Okay here we go… I ship this guy extremely liberally, even with people he’s never interacted with (hell you could mention any random character and I could probably see my way clear to shipping them with him somehow, I’ll still try to explain my logic if I can). Prepare yourself.

Kagami (of course, AoKaga is the OTP and definitely the one I’ve devoted the most time to, they’re just the best together I’ll never get tired of seeing them figure their shit out over and over)

Kuroko (I may be AoKaga on main, but I’m still such a sucker for the tragic romance between these two, and sometimes it just hits me over the head like a sledgehammer how much I love their relationship. I’ve also got a lot of feelings for AoKagaKuro, they’re such a perfect trio and I need to invest more of my time in the OT3)

Kise (I was a bit late to the game on AoKise, but I definitely see it now. I love their dynamic and how imperfect their relationship would probably be, the complexity of it. sign me up)

Momoi (I don’t see a lot of AoMomo love anymore, but I’ve still got a soft spot for it, childhood friends are my weakness okay)

Midorima (they’re so different but that’s what makes it interesting, and I love the idea of neither of them knowing how to show/tell the other their feelings and being awkward stubborn shits together)

Murasakibara (they almost never interact but I just think they’d have such a soft cuddly relationship and be really chill together… lazy Sunday mornings sleeping in and hanging all over each other that kinda thing)

Akashi (kinda same as Akashi/Kagami, I think the difference between polished upper-class Akashi and scrappy city boy Aomine would be hella interesting… though I’ve also got some angst ideas for them as a couple, after how things went down at Teiko… abandonment and whatnot)

Imayoshi (I got pulled into this ship HARD by Lysapadin’s A Firm Hand series and now it’s no longer a guilty pleasure ship and is actually something I’ll talk about in the open, just… the power dynamic fuck me up)

Sakurai (I fuckin love the idea of an anxious Sakurai crushing hard on Aomine and not knowing how to tell him but when he finally plucks up the courage and prepares himself for imminent death Aomine’s actually pretty chill about it… plus they’d be adorable together tbh)

Wakamastu (you know it’s gotta be enemies to lovers. not just bc I’m intrigued by the love/hate relationship itself but if you look past the attitude issues these two would actually probably have a lot in common. also I’m really interested in how their dynamic might change with Wakamatsu being captain and all)

Susa (idk but there’s one throwaway line in season 3 where Imayoshi says about Aomine “actually maybe he likes you” and that’s enough for me. bring me the rarest rarepair my body is ready)

Kasamatsu (it wasn’t supposed to be SERIOUS but they got me. That moment in the Touou/Kaijo game where Aomine helps him up and “you’ve really done it now, senpai” is legit, plus these two would be such a good-looking couple, honestly.)

Mibuchi (give me the pretty boys. I have no excuse for this except maybe their interactions in my own damn fic again)

Nebuya (sometimes shipping can be as simple as hey I want them to bang right. also they’re both humongous dorks under their respective rough exteriors and I love them)

Moriyama (they bond over liking girls at first and then they’re simultaneously like wait a minute… more Touou/Kaijo ships pls)

Nijimura (I have this idea of them reuniting late into/after high school and Aomine still calls him captain out of habit and Nijimura’s like relieved and impressed to see how he’s developed since the mess at Teiko)

Himuro (they Never interact but they’d be so Petty and Snarky sign me up)

Haizaki (twisted, but I’m interested it’d be so unhealthy and awful bring it)

Hanamiya (even more twisted tbh but there is that moment where Aomine confronts him… and I’m here for hate sex just as much as your typical romance)

Inoue (who, you ask? I know he’s such a side character and no one remembers him, but he’s a big reason for Aomine’s downfall at Teiko and they seemed to be buddies before that, I’d be interested in some kind of reconciliation between them, or a romance, ya know whatever works)

And then we get into crossover territory… MOST of these are not my fault they’re just things I’ve seen and adopted for myself

Kuroo Tetsurou (someone made a moodboard for them, and now I can’t stop thinking about them in a relationship, like damn… it’d be such a beautiful mess I wanna see more of it)

Oikawa Tooru (I’ve seen art, and also the light. These two damaged angsty prodigies, one sharp as a whip the other dumb as bricks, but both of them sassy and nerdy as hell. I could see myself getting addicted to this ship if I took the time to write it out, and I just might)

Yamazaki Sousuke (can’t lie, they look good together. I’ve seen more than one art piece of them interacting and I have a Mighty Need.)

Matsuoka Rin (angry lonely talented boys finding solace in each other’s company? you know that’s my shit. also shark teeth and cop AUs hells yeah.) 

Tanaka Ryuunosuke (I don’t know where the fuck this idea came from but I thought of Tanaka trying to pick a fight with “shitty boi” Aomine while in Tokyo and then losing his shit and here we are)

Terushima Yuuji (this one is purely physical… they pretty, I have no other reason, but also this absolute fuckboy, these two would be such a train wreck and I’m here for it tbh)

Yachi Hitoka (okay picture this Giant Terrifying basketball player trying to be less giant and terrifying to tiny shy Yachi and tell me you don’t just want to see that happen. I get Legosi/Haru vibes.)

I’ll spare you the rest of the ideas I’ve tossed around, because past this point it becomes pure crack (if it hasn’t already) but you get the idea. Throw a character my way and I can probably talk myself into it that’s the power this guy has over me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My non-romantic OTP for this character

K considering the List… it shouldn’t be surprising that I also consider this person a romantic candidate, but you know when it comes to non-romantic OTP it’s gotta be Momoi. Platonic or romantic, the way she’s stuck with him all those years and his obvious protectiveness and love for her and how (even though he claims to like big tits) he never even once starts to objectify her in any way, it’s so important to me. Momoi is Aomine’s redeeming factor when he’s at his worst, and she goes to bat for him even while he’s actively trying to shake her off and still tries to protect and help him when he refuses to accept it, even when it means they fight. (Also Kuroko saying “Aomine’s probably looking for you” after their argument puts to mind Aomine running through the rain calling Momoi’s name and that is just… pure). These two have the kind of unshakable long-standing friendship that’ll probably last them the rest of their lives, and no matter what context or form it takes, I can’t get enough of it. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

I’ve harped on enough about the fandom’s portrayal of Aomine as a one-note asshole who doesn’t care before, so let’s see if I can change gears a little bit here. 

I honestly don’t agree with… the persistent idea people seem to have of Aomine being a narcissist or obsessed with himself? Like yeah, he’s self-absorbed and egotistical, no question, this is not to say he hasn’t got those flaws and others besides… but that’s not the same as being like, physically attracted to yourself. Part of me suspects it was a “the only one who can fuck me is me” joke taken too far, so that now the idea of Aomine being in love with himself is just ingrained into the fanon culture, but if you look at the show itself, personally I don’t see it. If anything, I would think he’d have some self-loathing issues to work through (and that’s part of the reason he gave for skipping practice, he doesn’t want to be the way he is, and specifically says he doesn’t want to increase the difference between him and everyone else). But hey, that’s just my opinion. I’ll get off my soapbox now.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I mean he says he and Kagami are postponing their match, after their brief one-on-one when he gives him the shoes, and then we never get to see it… Tbh just more street ball with this guy would be great, since it’s what his whole style is based around. Even if he’s just playing by himself… or hell, maybe since he thinks no one at the high school level can beat him, we could get a scene of him trying to go up against adults. Maybe he still beats them and his despair worsens after that, but then it’d have more meaning, and at least we’ll have seen that he’s tried and is not just giving up before he’s seen all of what he could be up against in the future. Plus, picturing Aomine going five-on-one like Haizaki did against grown-ups and still slaughtering them is something I’d pay money to see. 

[ear]

PLEASE share your vld reboot ideas aja the show canon is garbage and your mind is so galaxy brain

OK OK ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!!! alright so idk what kind of. earth landscape this reboot occurs in…. like yallve got this retro 80s/90s neon future verse going on but i didnt think my reboot version would fit into that so yall go wild with whatever hc for this earth reboot thing u want cuz im not creative and i didnt really think that far ahead

ALRIGHT here we go. this is so long i HAVE to put this under the cut but i hope yall enjoy the creations of my MIND……

- akeno “KEITH” shirogane: (age: 19) [gay] hes japanese/black/galran. hes still half galra in this reboot bc i fuck with that honestly but hes got more visible galran traits. his bottom canines are larger than usual and poke out from his bottom lip so he wears a mask to cover his mouth and his eyes r still purple but instead of his sclera being yellow(tinted), hes just like. got some odd golden flecks in his eyes. he normally wears a dirty mechanics jumpsuit with the top half tied around his waist and a black or white tank top underneath (hes still a high school flunk out so he works full time at a car repair shop so hes able to buy food and shit at LEAST + hes still got his motorcycle to keep in shape). his casual clothes r just regular grey sweats, hoodies, and adidas or whatever brand is closest in their future lol. hes blood related to shiro who ill get to in a second.. shiros blood related to him as his uncle (brother of keiths dad) ALSO his hair isnt long in this reboot, hes got a short messy head of hair that he mostly just pulls back into a TINY little pony tail on his forehead (like in the game show ep) so it doesnt get in his face while hes working. he also has goggles bc thats the one thing from yalls reboot ideas i actually like (endgame lion: he momentarily pilots black during shiros disappearance but his permanent and stationary lion is red)

- fal’allura “fala, ALLURA” naguna’ephy: [lesbian] (age: 21 or close to that in alien standards) shes altean on her fathers side and teem (what we’re gonna call nymas race) on her mothers side. she bares more altean features except her eyes are solid yellow and shes only got four fingers on each hand. instead of crescent shaped facial markings, she has painted on red and golden lines across her nose and her upper lip. her hair (very dark purple with silver highlights and literal glowing, twinkling stars) is VERY long, brushing the floor as she walks except and (now bear with me cuz this might be hard to explain) her hair, the farther down u look kind of fades away? like it becomes semi to absolute transparent… idk how else to explain it but i hope u understand…. she does wear a crown but its more like a headdress.. (imagine beyonces headdress).. she doesnt wear it often, usually only on diplomatic missions to greet other worldly rulers bc its heavy and it makes her neck hurt :/.. her dress! looks like this! but a little more spiffy .. u know.. her casual/training clothes are just…. idk imagine a royal looking sports bra and leggings?? i guess … ALSO ALSO ALSO she can still shape shift but instead of limiting her shifting to just the changing of skin tone and height, she can completely mimic different alien species but only humanoid races.. like she can have those indented looking knees and huge ass horns and all that but she cant like. turn into an earth lizard u know what im saying. also also also also she still speaks with an accent just… not a british one….(endgame lion: no lion. she keeps leading and piloting the castle ship until destruction, where she leads and pilots the atlas)

- alejandro “LANCE, ale” reyes-leon: (age: 19 ½) [bi] hes cuban/black/vietnamese. his dad is black and vietnamese and his mom is cuban! hes got longish afro textured hair he keeps back in a pony tail most of the time like this or a bun when training bc hes too lazy to put any actual effort into styling it. hes got a couple moles/freckles scattered across his face and hes got sectoral heterochromiaaround his left pupil so theres a little bit of blue in one of his other wise dark brown eyes (like this).. i havent really figured out what his clothing style is.. i thought about keeping his clothes close to vld canon like his jacket (bc that was a really good jacket) but im gonna go a little wild here so hold on. he wears one of those surfer type looking skin tight turtleneck shirts underneath his heavy bomber jacket.. he wears just regular ripped jeans and hightops like in canon…….. hmm……. he wears a pink bead necklace under his shirt that was made by his little cousin just a couple weeks before he was shot off into space and he hasnt taken it off since…………. he also has a tiny stick and poke tattoo on his ankle he did when he was thirteen bc he thought it would look cool but it turned out kinda lop sided so he never takes his socks off in embarrassment (endgame lion: blue to red (during keiths reign as black paladin) then to black when shiro leaves voltron to lead the atlas alongside allura)

- takashi “SHIRO” shirogane: (age: 31) [gay] hes japanese/black. hes keiths uncle and the only family keith really has .. his design doesnt really change much except hes got long hair (like kuron) but its pulled up into a messy bun or pony tail.. in MY canon hes still gay and married to adam (whos name isnt adam i just cant think of a new name for him yet) (and adam lives dont worry) and theyre working on adopting a daughter before shiro has to leave for kerberos. shiro usually dresses in work out outfits so like. gym shorts… tank tops.. leggings.. imagine those white blonde dudes who always wear a man bun and only eat vegan and drink chai from starbucks bc thats exactly how shiro acts but ONLY ironically ……… when shiros abducted on the galra freighter and forced to fight in the ring, his hair streaks white but instead of just a clean scar across his nose, he has multiple long scars scattered across his face from a one x one between his face and some debris thrown at him by a gladiator. his prosthetic looks and remains kinda the same i guess but this time its decked out with claws on the finger tips so it looks a little more galran yeah? (endgame lion: no endgame lion. he pilots the atlas alongside allura)

- francesca “frannie, frankie, PIDGE” eleonora: (age: 15) [trans girl lesbian] shes . just italian i guess. so anyway shes not gonna be an asshole bitch like canon pidge.. shes gonna be the caring sweet but KINDA mean little sister we always wished we had.. the little sister who would tell u, with all honesty, that ur winged eyeliner was smudged before u hit the town with the girls and made a fool of urself……. ANYWAY shes still gonna be the ‘hacker’/computer geek techno girl but not as much ykno? shes JUST a little girl so she just kinda does her own thing. i rlly like all the fanart i see of her wearing overalls and stuff SO thats her canon design…… she wears faded overall jeans over a short sleeved pale pink tshirt w a dog one it and scuffed up chucks. she wears glasses but instead of just taking them from matt she has an actual prescription and is basically blind without them. i literally cannot stress this enough but shes such a nice girl like the team pretty much adopted her as their little sister the moment they boarded the castle ship. idk what else to add on to her!!!! i literally did not put any thought into pidge at all! (endgame lion: permanently green)

- opetaia“HUNK” tuitama: (age: 19 ¾) [bi] hes samoan/black. hunk was adopted and has two moms and three other siblings, all of who are younger than him. im not sure about his fashion other than i KNOW deep down in my heart that he would wear cargo shorts…. i cant find it in me to get rid of his bandana thing so i let him keep it except he uses it to tie his hair up instead of using it as a head band thing….. HUNK in my au is more of a tech freak/engineer than pidge so he handles most of that stuff with the occasional help from pidge (like wiring… she has tiny fingers that can grab the wires easier) hunk probably wears the crocs/sandals with socks combo but just because he loves hearing lance bitch about it whnever he struts into a room. hunk also looks good in his vest so im gonna let him keep that but it looks more modified… like it has a bunch of pockets and stuff to keep bolts and nuts and other stuff he needs to work with.. thats also why he wears cargo shorts; just for the pockets.. (endgame lion: permanently yellow)

also ur probably wondering “if lance is in black and keith is in red and allura doesnt pilot a lion, THEN WHOS PILOTING BLUE????” …….. heh… peep this………..

- ADAM elsammak-althani(thank u mal @fuckvld for ur gorgeous arabic adam hcs..): (age: 32) [gay] i dont have much to say about him other than read mals hc lists and that ADAM LIVES IN MY REBOOT and he also joins the voltron team and pilots the blue lion (i FIRMLY hc that hes a very free/wild spirit and just loves to make jokes and is just.. a really fun guy to be around and obviously blue would open up to him in a SECOND. dont even @ me) (endgame lion: BLUE!)

[lvoplds]

aye ! i’m d or dennis either is hideous. she/her and i’m a big ol’ Gay. my timezone is gmt but that means nothing bc i sleep like garbage & that’s pre much all the ooc info i got bcos i’ll ramble which makes sense considering i’m leo’s mun --- speaking the fuck of ! hit the readmore for a lil breakdown i’m trying to keep brief ( i lied barbara sue me ) + the like button if u wanna plot <3

☆ · ˚ . ✦ . ˚ { COLE SPROUSE, TWENTY-FOUR, HE/THEY } spotted! LEOPOLD FISK making their way down the streets of the ues. i swear, every time i hear WELCOME TO JAPAN by THE STROKES, i think of them. the DEMIBOY is currently a COLLEGE STUDENT. though everyone knows them for being HEEDFUL & WELL-ROUNDED, page six says they could be BITTER & PERIPHRASTIC. according to gossip girl, LEO BLACKMAILED THE ADMISSIONS DIRECTOR TO GET INTO UNIVERSITY, but that could be a rumor. { d, 20, gmt, she/her }

so, leo feat. some basics --- just turned twenty-four. demiboy with preference to either he or they pronouns. 

he’s ny born and raised. a fact that’ll be fun later: his mother’s from scotland & he has family he visits there.

he’s demisexual/demiromantic. romantic and sexual attraction come hand in hand with emotional depth and since he’s so skeptic/extra about the first and uncaring when it comes to the latter, it makes it difficult for leo to be available, but not at all impossible bcos hey ! he’s very open to connecting with people. he just needs to reset some of his priorities and ideals on people. it’s been two years, cunt.

a continuation to the point upstairs -- he’s pretty social though not as much as he used to be in highschool ?? he says it’s bc of college which is partially true but u never know.... now it’s pretty much him being socially operating: extensive phonecalls, he likes talking. keep him updated. spill teas and ur feelings, hon. the wingman of his people;  think caleb gallo from the gay and wondrous life of caleb gallo or cher horowitz got brutally murdered by amber and possessed josh lucas. will set you on a date on the spot which is IRONIC considering he *gasps* has cynical opinions on dating but that’s a preference not a fact. venting-friendly; he pays attention and takes mental notes and will be able to keep up. the catch is that you never see him during the week and if you do, it’s by planned accident. he’s a big Nerd and also lives in campus. td;lr: he’s the parental figure but mostly the aunt who lives five states away but knows your business because she cares and is also going through a rough divorce  handled poorly by her budding alcoholism and needs the distraction.

THAT BEING SAID, it’s not a shocker to know that his mother is a therapist and he clearly takes a lot from her. known one to socialite moms all the way to governors’ wives in the upper east side --- and that’s how he managed to blackmail the admissions director of nyu.

as smart as he is, the one thing he’d worked for ( maybe not too hard, but he didn’t think he’d need to ? straight a’s should be more than enough ) somehow did nawt work ??? and he’s not ???? taking that ??? at all ?? WHAT ??? and in comes his moral ambiguity where he reasoned w himself that yea... he deserved this. and the director shouldn’t be diddling with their family friend -- no, her being a model is not an excuse. and yes leo had to investigate to know whom that was  -- so this is karma. right ? right. and it happened. he ofc didn’t tell them he’s their therapist’s spawn -- his mom goes by her maiden name - but he knows the reveal would be #iconic on graduation day.

additional fuckshit he’s on about: he’s a famous local erotica romance novel writer in scottland and goes by pseudonym brenda j. thomson who wrote elicit confessions. it’s as extra and terrible as it sounds.  

COOL SO MOVING ON TO WANTED CONNECTIONS

FAMILY FRIENDS ? absolutely. they’d notice the shift in personalities maybe. he was extra before and he’s extra now but less and studying environmental law with a full blown depression. #grown

EXES ? just a major one. they’d been a Thing^tm throughout high school but dissolved as most relationships would after grad. i’d say it’s the most intense romantic relationship he’d had but that’s only because it was his first and while it hurt before, he knows that’s what it was now -- still refers to them vaguely and dramatically as his first love/experience by habit and for point delivery purposes but it means less to nothing now.

A NEIGHBOR ? has to come back home to someone next door on the weekends ! they could be close, absolutely despise each other, a little bit of both, etc.

HIS CLOSEST FRIENDS ? these people... are his life. literally wouldn’t go a day without talking to them. his lil web of lovely distractions. whether it’s who he met after grad or knew all his life, they’re important. if they all know each other ? kudos ! if they don’t ? he’d probably mention them in conversation or make it a point they would one day, no problem. ( i wanted to set a number aka five ppl but nah - a good starter number tho and the rest are budding friendships bc we stan those )

MOM’S FREQUENTERS ? yes. people who see his mom, whether it’s a muse or a muse’s parent. he’d probably run into them when he stops by his mom’s therapy office or knows of them. anything could be done and fleshed out more here !

DORM MATE ? yes. they share a dorm, they’re mates. they crash parties together and steal minivans for fun.

ENEMY ? rivalry is approved in this house. could be friends before and shit went left why not leo’s a shithead ?? im ready to go off !

FRENEMIES ? only talk when they’re forced to in social settings or in a group of people. heavy opinions of each other. passionate despising, maybe a little too passionate -- for everyone’s comfort.

FRIENDS HOW ??? they only ever talk on the phone/text. only. it’s weird, they don’t know how to explain it but that’s pretty much it and it works ! they’re comfortable enough to talk about fleshlights and communism.

PROBABLY MORE BC IM SURE I HAVE MORE IN MIND BUT THIS IS ALREADY SO FUCKING LONG BUT WE’LL SEE ! 

[gpjiroo-blog]

Hello all and welcome to Eli is trash for gangpaekrp and picks up another character. You can meet my wonderful new son below as this is a pretty detailed intro, find his stats here and his backstory here . Anyways enjoy y'all:

okay so this is Ja Ji-Roo he is 23 and he’s the medic for The Wildlings and he was raised by an underground fighter for a father and a mother who was from a line of big gang masters, her father had been the boss of a huge gang so she learnt most of her parenting technique from him

newsflash: it was clearly shit parenting bc she treated lil Ji-Roo here like cRap. his mum used to rent him out to older men in order to get money and bc she’s a ruthless bitch didn’t care one bit how rough they went with him or shit they treated him she used to lock him and trap him in rooms and no matter how much he pleaded for his ma or screamed he was locked in there till he gave in.

he only really had a good relationship wifh his dad but his mum was evil af and was all like “his dad’s a good for nothing and jiroo is turning out the same being prissy tending to his dad all the time so I’m going to make him at least seem pretty and like he has a purpose”

anyways he was extremely good at science and health care and his dad always took him to the underground fights so he had a passion for medicine from a young age and everything and used to tend to and fix his father up after his fights

as he got older he learned more and improved and has saved his fathers life multiple times from lethal injuries. He has a kind of dark tint in the fact that the whole atmosphere of underground fights never scared him even when he was young af and instead he was just fascinated by how the body was wounded and recovered and everything so none of the gore bothered him

his dad didn’t know what his mum made him do and he knew jiroo was hella talented and so when he found out he was like I don’t want this life for him but he’s not exactly normal anymore so I can’t give him a normal one either so he got in contact with the recruiter of the Wildlings and they took on Jiroo and they had quite an emotional farewell where his father told him to show people forgiveness could be lethal as well

the gang trained him up to do fighting even tho his dad already taught him a decent lot of hands on skills they made him more deadly as a fighter and wanted to give him more purpose than just the medic so he’s also pretty educated and usually is a big part in helping the gang win in streetfights and also strategic planning

he also is a menace with the other gangs and they are annOyed by him bc he’s such a skilled medic and thinker that he constantly gives his gang the upper hand in stuff and they’re like gOd he’s such a rAt he doesn’t even do shit heS just thE meDiC plus the gang always babied him at first so highkey they hate his ma as much as he does and he often steals from her since money is so precious to her, ruins her business deals and mysteriously her rent boys go missing hmm naH Ji-Roo wouldn’t have shit to do with thAt 👀👀

i love him he bugs the shit out of people purely by existing lmao and his personality is like he’s kind of like the stern grumpy dad iM he isn’t grumpy he just is quite serious and doesn’t rlly joke around but he’s expressive af and sometimes very snappy and usually shows his emotions through his expressions and actions more than he does words

he’s pretty chill and good natured but everytime the gang does some dumb shit and gets lethally hurt aGain he’s like reprimanding them and pretending they’re a burden on him and making his life ten times harder when he treats them like “ffs give me a break u dumbasses” but he loves them bc without them he’d have no role in life and still be forced to do shit he hated

his ass is asexual very strictly plus he’s a gay bean but he doesn’t mind making out with girls sometimes usually drunk tho cause that’s the only time he can handle it and when it’s to save them from creeps but anyways when he finds the right one and he’s absolutely certain there’s connection and commitment he’d probably end up easing into the sexy time with them

[girlsnsleep]

For the anon who wanted everything started with 7...

7: My best friend: Daimbarage, Wsup 8: Sexual orientation: Gayy af 9: My best first date: Regular diner and afterwards we went to the movies 10: How tall am I: 165cm 11: What do I miss: You don’t wanna know lol 12: What time were I born: Idk actually, somewhere in the evening probably 13: Favourite color: black, grey, red, white 14: Do I have a crush: uhu (lern jergi watch out) 15: Favourite quote: grab that booty when she moody 16: Favourite place: my bed 17: Favourite food: PIZZA and chicken nuggets 18: Do I use sarcasm: yeah who doesn’t these days 19: What am I listening to right now: Sauced-up by Fifth Harmony 20: First thing I notice in new person: Their caracter and how they act when im around 21: Shoe size: 40EU 22: Eye color: Brownnn 23: Hair color: Also brownn 24: Favourite style of clothing: i like to wear black, wish i’ve had the money to buy the stuff i really wanna wear 25: Ever done a prank call?: hell yeah

27: Meaning behind my URL: i like girls and sleeping 28: Favourite movie:idk got so many, i saw The Martian and i cried and had to laugh (really watch it) 29: Favourite song: don’t askme that :(( 30: Favourite band: Pvris, Tøp, 5H 31: How I feel right now: terrible

32: Someone I love: my gf 33: My current relationship status: so taken 34: My relationship with my parents: good lately 35: Favourite holiday: all 36: Tattoos and piercing i have: none :(( 37: Tattoos and piercing i want: tattoos so many omg 38: The reason I joined Tumblr: cz i was in my phase from bi to gay and here you can do whatever you wanna do 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?: nope 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: nah 41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? nope 42: When did I last hold hands? a while ago 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? depends on my mood 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? nope haha 45: Where am I right now? in my bed 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? probably one of my friends but never had that situation so im good with alcohol 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? depends on the song 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? mom and stepdad 49: Am I excited for anything? uhuu 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? nope 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? often lately 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? few days ago, need a hug rn 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? oh hell no, you don’t wanna see that honey 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? nope 55: What is something I disliked about today? myself

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? FIFTH FUCKING HARMONYYYYYYY 57: What do I think about most? a lot of things i dont wanna think about 58: What’s my strangest talent? crying when i dont have a reason to cry 59: Do I have any strange phobias? not really 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind bc imma photographerrrr 61: What was the last lie I told? that the restaurant i didn’t wanted to go to was closed while they werent lol 62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? phone 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? nope and nope

64: Do I believe in magic?nope 65: Do I believe in luck? maybe 66: What’s the weather like right now? clear but a bit cold 67: What was the last book I’ve read? *camren fanfic oops 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? hell yes 69: Do I have any nicknames? Ang 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? My hip was discolated 71: Do I spend money or save it? depends lol 72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? nope haha 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? no 74: Favourite animal? cats dogs 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? tumblr 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? nugget 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? idk 78: How can you win my heart? not unless you buy me food 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? ‘go to hell bitches’ 80: What is my favorite word? nugget 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: well actually everyone who reblogs stuff from my blog so YEAH YOU WHO READS THIS luv for u all 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? lauren jauregui marry me 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? nope 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? to be invisible and beat the motherfuckers 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ugh idk 86: What is my current desktop picture? something with a car 87: Had sex? yeah 88: Bought condoms? no hahah 89: Gotten pregnant? hell no 90: Failed a class? yupp 91: Kissed a boy? no 92: Kissed a girl? uhuuuuuuuuuu 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? yep 94: Had job? yep 95: Left the house without my wallet? once, never do this 96: Bullied someone on the internet? nope 97: Had sex in public? no?? 98: Played on a sports team? yes :((( 99: Smoked weed? everyday 100: Did drugs? yes 101: Smoked cigarettes?yuppp 102: Drank alcohol? only at parties 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? nooooo 104: Been overweight? no?? why is this even a question 105: Been underweight? *see 104 106: Been to a wedding? yesss 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? probably 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? yeah Friends 109: Been outside my home country? many times 110: Gotten my heart broken? oh yeshhh 111: Been to a professional sports game? a few yess

112: Broken a bone? nope 113: Cut myself? uhu 114: Been to prom? in June :)) 115: Been in airplane? yes i luvvvv it 116: Fly by helicopter? no :((( 117: What concerts have I been to? Tøp, 5H, some belgian artists, Drake etc 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Oh hell yeah 119: Learned another language? yeah who doesn’t? 120: Wore make up? actually no 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? noooo 122: Had oral sex? pussy 123: Dyed my hair? yeaaass 124: Voted in a presidential election? nope 125: Rode in an ambulance? yes haha lol 126: Had a surgery? yup my upper leggg and head 127: Met someone famous? no :(((((( 128: Stalked someone on a social network? not really 129: Peed outside? yeah when we went on a survival trip and when we slept in school (outside yk) 130: Been fishing? i live next to water so yeah 131: Helped with charity? a fewtimes 132: Been rejected by a crush? uhuuuu 133: Broken a mirror? many times 134: What do I want for birthday? lauren jauregui 135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? none bish 136: Was I named after anyone? no but after a song from the rolling stones 137: Do I like my handwriting? nope not really 138: What was my favourite toy as a child? i had a peter pan island lol 139: Favourite Tv Show? friends 140: Where do I want to live when older? far away from belgium 141: Play any musical instrument? not atm 142: One of my scars, how did I get it? surgery and stupid things 143: Favourite pizza toping? mozzarella 144: Am I afraid of the dark? no 145: Am I afraid of heights? hell yes 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? not that i know 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? many times lol 148: What I’m really bad at: being myself 149: What my greatest achievments are: going to college in a few days 150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: not gonna tell here 151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: buy clothes and shoes and food and go farrrr away 152: What do I like about myself: nothing 153: My closest Tumblr friend: @wsupfuckah 154: Something I fantasise about: food 155: Any question you’d like?nope

Have fun.

[cosmochasm]

tell us about sa !!!

OKAY SO this ended up being way longer than i ever expected because i couldn’t stop talking about it and i have a lot of #thoughts tbh

@kt-bergs

first things first, it was a very small community theater production, the entire theater was pretty small, the stage and everything, and also it was the closing performance and so. Emotions were high for a lot ofit

secondly, the stage design was ?? so great. like i’ve watched a lot of productions of sa on yt and stuff, local and broadway, and i’ve never seen a stage designed like this. basically, the front of the stage was just basic, like wood that you walked on and it never really changed but most of the stage was built over a shallow pool of water with panels of differing sizes they could move and make it look like different locations and stuff etc, where the water would be visible sometimes and other times, like at the very beginning, you don’t even realize it’s not a normal stage. all of the panels could stack up on top of each other too to create like. higher parts of the stage?

also they had branches all throughout the top of the stage and hanging down off of the front over the audience. the aisles were used a l o t because this was a small theater. i sat right next to wear they came from back stage to go up/down the aisles with a big shit eating grin on my face for most of it, im sure most of them saw me lmao.

oh and they had people playing bobby maler/greta as well

i guess i’ll just do? a song by song rundown bc idk how else to do it tbh

mama who bore me wasn’t spectacular. it wasn’t bad, just nothing new tbh but wendla was fantastic

all that’s known and the scene leading up to it really didn’t have anything new either. moritz was good but since when do i think a moritz is bad tbh. melchior is really angry tbh. bobby brings him a mic on a stand instead of him pulling it out of his jacket

the bitch of living was so good tbh it all went dark except for moritz, who had a purple spotlight on him, and then as the rest of the boys joined they had rainbow spotlights. they pulled mics out of their jacket so im not sure why melchi didn’t in all that’s known but im ok with it. the spotlights were solid colored at first, but then they switched back and forth between being grungy-textured (i really dont know how to explain this tbh but it was like dotted shapes and stuff) and solid colors and thats mostly what i focused on lmao.

 when melchior joined in, they had lined up all their school chairs on the right side of the stage in a diagonal and faced him as they sang. they mention bobby maler and the guy who’s credited as bobby barely even reacted like they could have done more if they were going to bother casting a bobby.

my junk was pretty average too, except georg didnt have a piano and he just mimed playing piano on a table, but this is also where u see the first panel move bc of the water and i didn’t realize it was water at first, i just thought there was an opening in the stage tbh but then they removed a second panel at the end so there was like,,, a split in the center of the stage and u could see the reflectiveness of the water

the scene before touch me was so good tbh. when moritz talks about the “labia majora” (he didn’t pronounce it wrong which bothers me but its a character choice i guess so w/e) and frau gabor walks in he doesn’t notice at first and keeps going until he finally sees her, jumps a foot in the air and quickly sits on it. when he starts talking about the essay again after she leaves, he takes it out and dramatically checks to make sure she’s not coming back (like he leaned all the way back in his over his chair to check backstage)

moritz and melchior’s dance in touch me isn’t super gay at first. melchi just leans over the table and touches moritz’s hand while he’s feeling himself (as he does) and then moritz leaves. but when moritz comes back, he’s on the other side of the water divide and he and melchi grab each others arms over it and dance. pretty gay.

also in the scene where moritz is like “i passed!” he runs up the aisles and when he gets to the stage he leans up against the wall and it was really cute im still not over it but then when georg is like “are you sure”(i dont know if that’s the exact line but i have no memory ur lucky i remember this much) he does this like. weird tone of voice and when moritz says “yes im sure” he makes a face at georg and mocks his tone of voice. which is also cute and im still not over

the word of your body was pretty stationary tbh, but instead of having some chairs be a tree, they used a spotlight outlined like a tree

during the dark i know well, martha played acoustic guitar and it was so good im

(also by this point the stage was returned to just being a stage, like without the water parts) the beating scene was pretty typical as far as i remember. nobody laughed (thank god)

during moritz and his father’s scene, i’ve noticed a lot of productions don’t make it seem as serious as it could/should be but here it definitely was. moritz was audibly slapped multiple times and slams moritz down into a chair in the front of the stage.

frau gabor is brought out with a table and a chair across from him and he angrily sings and then there were none directly at her. the boys don’t come out and surround him, u just hear their voices but it highlights his thoughts and how he’s isolated

they didn’t have a hanging platform for mirror blue night. but the choreo made up for it tbh like it was still weird choreo but the boys are more incorporated liked they picked melchior up and held him above their heads and then when they put him down, they grabbed him until he shoved them off. idk it was cool but hard to describe.

i believe was typical as far as i remember tbh. they had chairs stacked up in the center and my mom was like “what’s that for” and i was like “i have no idea” but we guessed that maybe it was a hay bale to represent the hayloft. melchior put off more rapey vibes to me here than in some productions. also they didn’t unbutton wendla’s shirt but melchior ripped his off and underneath he was jacked and tbh i wasn’t ready i was sh ook and its all i thought about for most of intermission.

the guilty ones: the stage now has platforms moved so there’s a space of water on each side and a raised platform following it. the middle of the stage is normal level so it’s like there’s a step on each side. melchior and wendla were in the front and center, and interspersed throughout the stage were all the boys and girls paired off into four groups.

two groups of 2 girls + 1 boy, a group of a girl and a boy, and a group of two boys (but im like? pretty sure it wasn’t hernst so idk. i think i was georg and bobby but i? couldn’t see their faces very well). all the groups were like feeling each other up and kissing while they sang.

moritz comes in and i don’t do sadness starts out pretty typically. but when he stomps you can feel it bc the space is small so angst x10. when ilse comes on she looks like she’s just wondering through town, she pauses and looks at moritz for a sec and then she’s like “moritz??” and moritz runs all the way across the stage to hide from her on the steps so she can’t see the gun. he also moves her standing mic on stage when he comes back on. 

he and ilse sit in the center part and interact before she sings blue wind. the whole time she’s singing blue wind, moritz stays sitting and looks super conflicted but mostly like he’s about to just lose it crying. then they both sing. while they’re singing u know they both typically face forward and they do that some but they also ran at one another and sang directly at each other, holding their hands out towards each other but not touching. 

then as he’s telling ilse bye again, his voice is cracking like he really really wants to go with her but he’s just... done. ilse storms off and the suicide monologue is awful bc moritz’s voice is cracking the whole time and im dying in the theater. after moritz shoots himself, he runs off stage right.

martha and melchior come out and are upper stage left. martha has a guitar and is sitting on the ground. her guitar case is sitting in front of her. melchior has a standing mic. moritz’s dad is upper stage right and is reading a letter, getting progressively more upset. 

and moritz is in the center, on a raised platform in front of square of water. he’s got his school notebook and is writing in it and he’s in a pool of white light and he looks happy. as they bring their flowers up, each person stops and looks at moritz, some reaching out for him, before walking up in front of martha to drop their flower in her guitar case. as more people come up, moritz starts laughing and playing in the water, splashing it at first and then jumping in (the water is super shallow like feet deep) and he starts throwing the water on himself and washing his face with it and stuff.

then eventually moritz leaves. when he does, otto and georg take the platform and set it on top of the water he was playing in, like. sealing his grave. (and there’s me, in the theater, REALLY dying)

at the end of left behind everyone lined up on the back wall with their backs facing the audience and then melchior comes out blah blah and then it gets lit like honestly it was so GOOD. everyone was angrily jumping around (which you could hear and FEEL) and getting up in the front rows face tbh (i was not front row smh) and the spotlights went crazy over the audience, first white and then rainbow colors. there were pillars near the front row and ernst and another boy jumped on them and like humped the air idk. melchior’s facial expressions were great. he was p sarcastic tbh. it was 1 of the best totally fucked’s ive ever seen imo

the vineyard scene was great. people laughed at it but im pretty sure it’s just because a lot of them knew the actors tbh? there was an opening of water and ernst (who was so small im) sat on the platform behind it and played in the water while he talked about being a pastor. hanschen stood across the stage. when hanschen kisses ernst he like. gently lays him down and their kisses are long like rip my gay heart. as they leave they’re holding hands and hanschen pulls ernst’s hand really close to his heart and i died

during whispering, melchior stands behind wendla in a blue light with his hand on her shoulders and sings like... not echos of whispering but different lyrics that i unfortunately can’t remember but i do remember that they sounded threatening tbh

the reformatory boys were good and my mom was shook af about the circle jerk scene she looked at me like ?!? and then later she was like “i do not remember that”(from the boot i showed her) i  was like idk maybe if ud paid attention

during those you’ve known the entire stage was water except the front lip and 3 platforms, one for moritz, melchi, and wendla. melchior mostly walks/sits on the front lip until like almost the end of the song. moritz and wendla stand on two of the platforms from the beginning (with 1 platform in between them) and they’re stock still, like. statues. melchior pauses in front of moritz when he says moritz’s line. then he walks over in front of wendla. when moritz starts singing he like... jumps to like and looks around for a second and then looks at melchior and kneels. same with wendla. then it’s typical those you’ve known until melchior moves to the center platform and pulls moritz and wendla off their platforms and to his when he pulls them close. moritz and wendla look like they’re about to cry and im not sure if that’s bc it was closing night or if they actually were supposed to look like it tbh

now for the best part. the song of purple summer. the stage is entirely water now. some of the actors come up from the aisles as ilse sings and some come from back stage. they’re all in their costumes. ilse pulls off her shirt and underneath she’s wearing a bathing suit. they all strip down into bathing suits and they play in the water with each other, like slinging it at each other, smiling and laughing and hugging and crying and im emotional. at the end they all reached into the water and did like some movement but basically they slung water towards the audience rip

anyway the show was fantastic. i really dug the water stage a lot? like ive never seen anything like it and it was such a good idea?? and i know i didn’t explain it that well but t b h

also i spoke to the actor of moritz briefly after the show and he was crying and hugging all of his friends and when we went up to him to tell him that it was good he was like “oh my god thank you im sorry im crying but oh my god it means a lot” and it was really cute okay

anyway thanks for listening to me ramble on sorryy

[grogblogging-follows]

so i went to see wonder woman – here are my thoughts, spoiler-free

first off: i know gal gadot is Super Not Great and i don’t want to touch that whole thing with a bargepole because it’s really not my place. i went to see this movie because it’s the first female superhero movie & that’s really important to me, but i totally understand not wanting to support it because of her.

but on to the actual movie.

i have super super mixed feelings, honestly. im so happy there’s finally a female superhero movie, about fuckin time honestly, & i got !! at several points in the movie bc its a lady!! doing what only men have done so far!! yes!! nothing that bothers me abt the movie remotely takes away from this fact; the bottom line is, thank fuck this movie has finally been made, and thank fuck it’s decent.

diana is amazing. she kicks ass & the movie shows us how powerful, badass, skilled, and just straight up determined she is. i can think of the number of female protagonists who are allowed to be just as kickass as she is on one hand. it’s also important to note that she’s not just the “sexy badass” trope; she’s allowed moments of real vulnerability and uncertainty too. her acting isn’t the greatest, unfortunately, and she’s kinda shown up by the rest of the cast who are all great characters brilliantly acted. in comparison, her character (and acting) can feel a little one-dimensional, which is unfortunate, but not bad enough to really affect the movie all that much.

the plot is a superhero plot. it’s tropey and predictable, the twists can be seen from literally miles away, there are conveninent plotholes & movie logic all over the place, and the final, climactic battle is the least interesting fight of the movie. some scenes go on a little too long, some jokes are set up for a while but fail to properly deliver; in general the script could do with a little tightening up. it holds the movie back from being truly great, which is a shame, but again it’s not something that ruins it at all.

this is a feminist movie, there’s no doubt about that. diana is independent and has no problem telling men to fuck off when they’re trying to decide what she should or shouldn’t do. but. and there is a but here. there are several things that detract from that.

first is the costume design. all the amazons are gorgeous and badass and their armour leaves little to the imagination. it doesn’t offer good protection remotely (there are even a couple of examples of the infamous boob cups), and it’s iffy whether they’re even practical to fight in (short skirts offer a good range of movement, sure, but heels, diana?). as a feminist im kinda disappointed; as a wlw i had an absolute blast. the only thing that did really bother me about these outfits is the camera work: the first shot we see of diana pans up from her heels, in a classic misogynistic reducing-a-woman-to-her-appearance shot (we see her body before we see her face); later, when we see the amazonians fighting, and its like theres there women doing amazing athletic leaps and oh look! the camera was perfectly positioned to see her butt. great.

neither of these are Massive Issues remotely; i wasn’t aware of either of them really beyond the first couple of scenes. the rest of diana’s fights we get to see a whole lot of upper thigh but again, im gay, and also it felt like the camera was more interested in her skill as a warrior than her sex appeal. i might be wrong, but that’s my take away. she is sexualised in dialogue, though, with several references to how attractive she is (i counted three, i think? so not terrible, but enough that i noticed it).

another potential issue is the romance. steve (chris pine) is no white knight; he can hold his own in a fight but he’s nothing like diana, and she comes to his rescue on multiple occasions. but i did feel he got a teensy tiny bit too much attention in the movie. he’s not the main character by any means, but he is in almost every scene after his first appearance (pretty darn early on), and he does get several important story/emotional beats, as well as shared credit for a lot of diana’s achievements. i’d also be interested whether he has more lines than diana; honestly it might be touch and go.

the final thing that i noticed, and the only thing that actually properly bothered me, was the way diana was characterised as the source of most of the movie’s comedy. remember that video that went around recently about the ‘born sexy yesterday’ trope? y e p. diana has no understanding of our world, needing basic things explaining to her, and, worst of all, is into the very first man she meets ever in her entire life. her faux pas in this world are amusing, theyre sweet, theyre honestly even really pure and lovely at points, but there’s too much of it. i’ve been trying to work out in my head how exactly it differs from thor’s inexperience of the world in his first movie, which was also played for laughs. i haven’t hit on exactly how it’s different – although i know it is – but i think the sex thing definitely plays a part. diana implies she’s not a virgin (also the only line that implies she and the other amazons aren’t straight), but she’s consistently shown to be unexperienced, using weird terms for sex and relationships, being confused by courtship tropes, and arguably being unaware of men’s attraction to her. it’s not awful, and it does provide some of the only comedy in the movie (which gets pretty fuckin dark in places, it’s ww1 and it’s not pretty). i do think it’s handled poorly, and at the very least overdone, which is a real shame.

honestly, in a plot twist that surprised everyone, diana and the whole feminism aspect of the movie weren’t what i liked best about it. i’d only seen a bit of one trailer and no other promotional material, so i don’t know whether i would’ve realised this if i had seen more, but i was so pleasantly surprised to see not only how diverse the supporting cast was, but unfraid the script was to get real about racial issues. a first nations man talks about the atrocities committed against aboriginal americans and gets taken seriously; a french-moroccan speaks candidly about racism. i don’t want to big this up too much – these are both single lines, not the focus of a scene or anything – but i did appreciate that these moments were included. this isn’t colourblind casting; it’s great that half the supporting cast are characters of colour, but even better that this isn’t just passed over without comment or made into a trope or charicature. the movie did really well in this regard, i think, and i am really pleased to see it.

all in all, a historic film, a decent movie, disappointing in a few places but very pleasantly surprising in others. it’s not my favourite movie ever, and i won’t be rushing out to see it again, but none of its faults could ever remotely detract from my excitement at there finally being a female superhero movie. about time, y’all.

[hoenursey]

Hi, can I ask the I guess story of Othello real quick even just a summary if you don't want to go in depth because I was excited about hearing about it, but then I was also really thrown off seeing Othello being a slave and all and now I'm just kinda confused?? Because Nursey in silk with a choking kink DOES sound amazing but I guess I'm just confused af now

lmao, okay, so. originally i was writing just an au of nursey and dex playing desdemona and othello, respectively. however, othello’ character background is that he was a former slave and a moorsman, or a person from the moor, and moorsmen are black people.

the beginning of othello starts with roderigo and iago outside of the house of brabantion, desdemona’s father. roderigo is jealous of othello because he’s in love with desdemona and she pretty much turned everyone down and she’s like dainty and pretty and hot as fuck, like the most beautiful fair girl ever and shit, but she’s falling in love with othello. also i’m pretty sure roderigo saw her and othello chilling or w/e. so basically, in the middle of the fuckening night, roderigo and iago start yelling to brabantion to come outside and talk to them. brabantion is generally a pretty cool dad and he’s like “bitch she doesn’t like u stop getting drunk and coming to my house my daughter turned ur ass down already”, rod and iago proceed to say a bunch of racist shit and say “check her bed she’s out being a slut with a black dude lol” to which dadbra says “she would never she’s so sweet and she’s also turned down literally everyone who’s ever wanted to date her” but desi, my girl, is actually gone from her bed, so dadbra is like “you’re right!!! i can’t believe my daughter is fucking around before marriage in the middle of the night!!! i trusted her!!! time to go chase after othello, who i welcomed into my house, with a bunch of pitchforks” which they do. they show up to othello’s crib like “what’s up here’s our accusations time to throw you in jail for fucking my daughter because if she turned down all the hot dudes in the entire city she’s definitely not gonna fuck a black dude out of wedlock unless there was some type of witchcraft involved” to and othello is like “uhh okay cool i’m dealing with the house of senators rn so like. can this wait a second my dudes” and they’re like “perfect! we’re gonna show them what a terrible black dude you are!”

they go in front of the senators and they’re like “what’s the sitch why is this angry mob here my dude” dadbra is like “uh he fucked my daughter, i’m sending him to jail for witchcraft or kidnapping bc there’s literally no other way she’d fuck a black dude when she doesn’t even like these hot white dudes”

othello’s like “uh actually i married her”

everyone: “what”

and he kind of explains like “buddy yeah i’m not super good with words so i’m not gonna bs you. i married your daughter. no kidnapping, drugging, or witchcraft. she fell in love with me and so now we’re married. she’s at the inn down the street also so like i’m def not fucking her since we’re at my house and she’s at a hotel”

everyone except dadbra is like “oh okay that sounds reasonable” but dadbra is like “you’re telling me that my good white upper class daughter fell in love with a black dude who she’d be afraid to look at? i’m calling bullshit it’s clearly witchcraft”

the duke p much is like “uh… but where’s the receipts tho i don’t see any witchcraft” and the senators are like “go get desdemona so we can confirm this also othello bro keep talking”

othello’s like “yeah i was a warrior and i travelled a lot and dadbra used to like me a lot so he invited me over to hear my stories about the wars and how i fought and battles and being on ships. i told him my entire life story from when i was a kid all the way until now, how i was captured and sold as a slave, how i bought my own freedom and just all types of cool shit and then when she did her chores around the house for dadbra she would come around as soon as she finished and ask me more and ask me to tell her more stories” essentially desi thinks he’s hot and a tragic hero and she’s like “everything that happened to you sucks but you’ve also got some sick ass stories so maybe that makes it a little better? idk sorry all this bad shit happened to you but you’re rly interesting to talk to. if any friends had any stories like yours i’d probably fall in love with them”

othello’s like “yeah uh i’m not that smart and i’m more of a military dude than an intellectual but i know a fucking hint when i see one”

he says the sweetest thing too like “she loved me for the horrors i had been through and that i had the strength to come out on top, and i loved her for feeling so strongly about me and having passion. here comes my wife now and she’ll tell you the exact same story”

desi comes in and is like “yeah dad sorry i shouldn’t have like run out in the middle of the night to get married but i really do love him promise no messing around”

and this is part of the reason i think brabantion is kinda cool bc he’s not actually a racist he just said some shit without rly thinking and let the things that he’s used to hearing influence him and he’s like “oh, well, you’re in love. that’s fine then sorry i didn’t realize. i’m super glad you’re my only daughter because after this whole disaster, if you’d had any younger sisters i know i would have overreacted and acted like a prison warden to them and women don’t deserve that. i’m still a little upset abt u sneaking out in the middle of the night but like blessings on your marriage i guess.

so that’s like…. act one

later on some fuckery happens, iago decides to be a dick, because they’re all together for some reason that i don’t feel like saying idk something abt the turks and also because he’s a miserable worm

cassio is one of their friends who’s also there and he’s, like, some type of foreign i think (probably spanish or italian) and has respect for women and his wife (who’s not there) but bc he’s spanish or italian (probably italian as verona is mentioned and shakespeare REALLY has a thing abt italy??? idk he’s a pasta fucker) or whatever he does the thing where he kisses people on the cheek and because it’s the elizabethan era, he kisses women’s hands, and earlier he had like politely greeted desdemona and iago’s wife and called them beautiful and smart and shit and called iago out on being a misogynistic piece of shit. iago like actively hates his wife and also literally anyone else’s happiness so he’s like i’m gonna fuck up cassio’s life and i’m gonna fuck up othello and desi’s and also he’s a jealous racist misogynistic asshole wants to fuck up othello and desdemona’s (healthy, loving, trusting, equal) relationship so he’s like

"hey othello. ur wife’s a slut. she’s fucking cassio behind ur back lol”

and othello, who thinks his wife is the shit, is like *daveed diggs voice* “whaaaaat”

iago: “yeah totes she’s a massive hoe”

and othello is like “nah not my wife. maybe someone else’s wife, but not mine”

and iago is like “no bro im serious. we’re sleeping in the same bed (i don’t know why i mean his fucking wife is there isn’t she) he’s been having like wet dreams about her and saying ‘damn i wish u weren’t with that black dude’ and he’s been rolling over in his sleep and dry humping me whilst moaning ur wife’s name” (honestly iago the reason you don’t like women is because you’re gay and jealous calm down)

(literally that was so extra i can’t believe how overwhelmingly bisexual shakespeare was that he needed to slide that gay ass shit in there)

anyways othello’s like “okay so that’s a little weird but that doesn’t mean she did anything. maybe cassio just wants to bang my wife. that’s understandable, as id also like to bang my wife” (they’re super into PDA they’re so in love)

iago: fair. also iago: i mean there’s no way to prove it but like… maybe your wife gave him something. like, idk, does she have a hand embroidered handkerchief maybe? just a thought just a thought lolothello: ya i gave that to her as like a courtship gift she never goes anywhere without it bc she loves me so muchiago: yeah well uh i cassio wiping his beard with it so they’re definitely fuckingothello, my dumb son: NO!!! THAT DEFINITELY MEANS THEYRE FUCKING IF MY WIFE GAVE AN ITEM OF GREAT SENTIMENTAL AND PERSONAL SIGNIFICANCE TO HIM!!! MY ABSOLUTELY TOTALLY FAITHFUL AND COMPLETELY INNOCENT UP UNTIL THIS POINT WIFE!!!!

so he’s like “uh i have to kill her i guess now :(((((((”

problem is he’s still fucking in love with her like he literally loves her so much and can’t even bear to stab her like a normal person would do if they’re trying to kill their wife, so what does he do? he fucking kisses her awake to explain what he’s doing and why he’s doing it and then gently smothers her to death

so gently, in fact, that she doesn’t actually die, just passes out

a servant walks in and is like “boi what the FUCK”

othello: uh

it’s desi’s handmaiden lmao and he’s like “i had to she’s fucking other men” to which she says “no she’s not you idiot” and then desdemona wakes up to say something dramatic and then properly dies

except no she doesn’t bc othello literally is just really really fucking in love with his wife so he’s an incredibly ineffective murderer despite literally having been in the military for almost all of his life but that’s all i’m explaining bc my hands are tired and i answered this all on mobile plus that’s all you need to know for my story