#i got super drunk
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Drunk sex with Soap would undoubtedly almsot always end with him passing out mid thrust.
The man, thankfully, does not suffer from whiskey dick. But that stamina does not always flow so seamlessly into his physical exertion.
Instead of his usual measured pace, he'll go full balls to the wall and wear himself out in less than a minute.
He'll apologize later. Once he's sobered up. Likely following it up by giving you countless orgasms to make up for the multiple he denied you while drowning in a brain full of liquor.
For now, you're covered by a sweat ladened and stark naked Scot. Cock still hard and buried in your cunt. A tinge of annoyance to your unsatisfied need playing behind your eyes, staring up at the ceiling as a muffled snore dances across the shell of your ear.
#super soap sunday#soap squad™️#drunk sex soap#im sorry this is all i got for today#working on some more stuff#johnny soap mactavish#soap mactavish#soap x you#soap x f!reader#call of duty#cod#tw: alcohol
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@glitteryrainbows: others will think being a couple will make them weaker but in the end it just makes them more unhinged because they’re more willing to do the absolute worst things if those people fuck with their boyfriend.
#zaundads#vanco#arcane#silco#vander#you know that scene in kingsman#where colin firth unleashes hell to the tune of freebird#that completes the self indulgence for me#the set up for this is that silco and vander had a spat#vander got super drunk and his guard was let down#some mook is like 'oh shit the Miner faction will do anything#to get this guy back'#but all the miners just kinda 😬 when they found out#who was kidnapped#so chat just how Into It do we think vander is#i had to root through hours of voice messages#to get the right quote#professional fangirls since the late 1900s
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luffy gets a girlfriend
He is blissfully unaware of this fact, however. He meets Torao at work, he's a firefighter and she's a doctor. She stitched up a cut on his arm and he gets hungry, spontaneously invites her to eat and she accepts, probably hungry too (or totally thinking that the cute guy with the stupid smile is asking her out).
They go out several times after that, usually with Luffy showing up at the hospital randomly, either injured or bringing in a patient, or simply to bother Torao because he was bored.
Luffy gets a new (girl) friend.
They're weird friends, though, because one day Torao just leaned in and kissed him. On the lips! And he liked it for some reason, so they kissed countless more times.
And sometimes things get too hot when they kiss and one thing leads to another and- well, they had sex. Several times. Which is weird, because Luffy definitely has no desire to kiss, much less have sex, with his other friends. But it works, so he just classifies them as weird friends.
He's pretty sure they're NOT lovers, because neither he nor Torao made fancy proposals, with roses, candles, fancy dinner and fancy rings, like Sanji and most TV shows tell, so, definitely weird friends.
And its okay, he likes being weird friends with Torao :D
(They're totally dating and no one believes Luffy when he says they're just friends. Because he shares his meat with Law, he actually, like, listens to her opinion instead of just doing what he wants, he takes her side in arguments no matter how obviously wrong she is, he fights with Ace, physically, when his brother says Law should get out of Luffy's life.They are totally dating, Luffy has a girlfriend, it doesn't matter that he doesn't know it.)
((law is just happy to be here, even if her boyfriend is a little slow))
#its like roomariage but the other way lol#law is tired poor girl#shes dating a moron lol#and if you're asking yourself:#“why its law not stressing over the fact luffy doesn't admit they are dating?”#everyone and their mother knows they are dating#she does too shes smart#aka: fem law is less dumb than og law bc women#women#do you see the vision? women#anywaysssssss#again#again everyone and their mother knows that they are dating#everyone but luffy#he genuinely thinks they are just weird friends#and then proceeds to get FURIOUS when Nami suggests that law should be weird friends with her too#imagine all the blackmail material nami will have against future Luffy when he finally understands what is going on#oh shes about to be so so sooooo rich im not even joking lol#ace being an idiot for plot reasons#but i love him i swear its just like once#hes sorry he was drunk im sure#lol actually he thinks this tall gothic and super hot woman is taking advantage of his little brother#and he actually thinks she should take advantage of him#(hes jealous hes lil bro got a baddie when all he gets its his right hand )#im sorry#kjgfhkhkjghkgfhdkghdfkjh okay that it#one piece#one piece lulaw#lulaw#lawlu
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Vi is gifted kid burnout but in the english major way
#she’s the best characterization I’ve seen of gifted kid burnout outside of super-genius characters#like. as a burnt out gifted kid by legal designation. she is me#trying to succeed at everything because that’s what you’re told to do or what you think needs to be done to be worth anything to anyone#being rigid to change because it’s not being done right but at the same time accepting change so long as people stay with you#and also how that ties in with being an eldest sibling#because ik folks love the whole ‘gifted kid jinx’ thing (not me but ya’ll do you) but ya’ll—#YA’LL DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY NEED FOR BURNT OUT ACADEMIC VI—#because Vi never got the chance to be a kid and learn and grow and find what she actually enjoyed in the world outside of the last drop crew#but look at her. the way she speaks and the way she tried to teach powder the lessons she earned the hard way in the gentlest way possible#in the way she so desperately clings on to people and memories#my girl would be a WRITER#my girl would be writing poetry drunk in her shitty basement apartment after hooking up with a girl#my girl would be writing novellas in prison and getting her degree#because you know she sees the world like a romantic. her world is art and emotion and devotion. to her family. to anything she cares about#i need more literary! student vi. i need more academic vi. i need more grudging debate-team captain vi#i need vi getting her own place and having an extensive book collection that she develops because of the loneliness#Her gkb is going from a leader & soldier to someone who could be useful regardless to someone who is useless & being okay w/ it ->#to being needed again and not knowing how to handle it but knowing she refuses to fuck it up this time#GIVE ME VI W/ MY GIFTED KID ARCCCCCC#this probs makes no sense and is like 4 tangents but I’ll expand on it later ‘cause im tired#coherency is for losers and the well-rested#vi arcane#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#arcane season two#vi
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A Mandated Holiday Break - Chapter 8
Characters: Sylus x gn!mc (poly lads)
Warnings: Sylus myth mentioned, mild hurt/comfort
Word Count: 1424
Written: 22nd December 2024
Notes: Post-relationship Sylus/MC-centric but poly LADs, with my personal pov of the game and lil headcanons littered in.
Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11
Masterlist AO3
Sylus enjoys a karaoke bar, especially if he's got access to you for a duet. You tease him but you'll always join him, hanging onto his arm and letting loose, and he sometimes falters over the words because he's too busy watching your face.
Still, this is good too. You've set up the game system that the doctor bought for his base, presenting it with a sigh. 'You won't know the right one.'
He'd been a little insulted, but he'd acquiesced, in the end the doctor knows gaming better than he does. It's never appealed to him, and he's never had real time to try. A sing-a-long game is loading up, yelling out 'let's sing' loudly from the speaker system.
You'd presented it to him with the doctor, beaming, "You'll like this one, I promise!"
The fish had groaned from the sofa, "Why do we all have to suffer the crow's crooning?"
As much as you've teased him for being out of tune, you've always encouraged him. He can't count how many times you've asked him to hum for you. Lay against his chest, and unable to sleep for nightmares.
The reason for the at-home karaoke session, are the cocktails that Luke has decided he wants to try making. Kieran is his primary test dummy, and if anything doesn't make him spit it straight back out. You're trying them.
It's ill advised… Sylus knows you're not a light weight, but he does know you and the twins can get competitive. It feels like it's only moments before you start doing shots together, and if that happens he's bound to get dragged in, and as quick healing as he is, he doesn't fancy driving anyone anywhere. Nor does he want to get into a taxi with someone he doesn't trust. Not with you and the twins.
He needs you safe.
He also blames you for Luke’s new hobby, you’d showed them some movies, made comments about how stylish a good bartender is, (He hadn’t filed that information away, to practice. At all.), and Luke had taken that as a challenge.
“It can’t be that hard.”
“Yeah! You can do it bro!”
You’d laughed and not thought anything of it. They’d gone out, and returned with… boxes.
Then raided his alcohol supply.
He’d dragged them both back by the scruff of the neck when they went for the very expensive top shelf. In no world were they mixing that with… was that moonshine? Where did they even get moonshine from?
He doesn’t see you drunk often, there are times you’re out in busy places because you feel you have to attend, and he’s seen you drink then to soften the anxiety and stress. You always call someone to be there then, drunk you is far more willing to rely on others. He also has seen you drink when you feel safe, has carried you on his arm more than once in those situations.
You apologise but there’s no need, especially when he gets to see the embarrassed but enamoured look on your face as he holds you in one arm. Your fingers drifting over the veins in his bicep, with a look he can only describe as hungry. He flexes a little more than he needs to on those occasions.
(There was one time you’d made a comment about beef clod, and he had truly not known how to respond.)
He can see you getting to that point now, you’re trying something green that you and Kieran are sipping from the same glass with separate straws. Luke is taking his turn at the microphone, singing something about what he wants for Christmas. Sylus is unsure if the radioactive green drink is good for either of you, but you don’t look sick, still. He’s wary, and flicks your forehead. As you put a hand to the targeted area, pulling away with an offended ‘Oi’, he grabs the glass and sips from your straw.
“Aww, Boss come on.”
It’s… not as bad as he expected, but he can’t imagine drinking it for fun.
Whether his taste buds are ‘broken’ like you’ve claimed before, and its somehow worse than he tastes, he still doesn’t feel good about putting it back in either your’s or Kieran’s hands. So he downs it.
Wrinkling his nose and pushing the glass away.
Before you can grab another concoction, now that Luke is back and shoving something else onto his brother, (He’s going to have to hide the key to the liquor cabinet he thinks, if this becomes a long standing hobby for them.), he pulls you over to the karaoke machine. “It’s our turn kitten, I’m owed a song for saving you from a terrible fate.”
Your tongue is out at him, but you stumble over grabbing his arm to steady yourself, and pick up the controller to find something you both know well enough to get through it with little effort.
His song repertoire has grown substantially since you’ve reentered his life, he feels confident that anything you sing to often he has memorised. Catalogued away to think about on nights you’re not here to sing for him.
When you’re satisfied, lining up a particular choice, you thrust the microphone into his hand, that’s not currently steadying you at the waist.
You look right at him when the song starts, familiar with some things enough to sing them blindfolded, and as tipsy as you are, with your voice wavering a little, he’s as starstruck as he always is.
“And I’d give up forever to touch you, ‘Cause I know that you feel me somehow, You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be, And I don’t want to go home right now.”
There’s moments in his life, where Sylus wonders if he blinks, will you disappear? A fragile illusion on a wishful soul. That someone, somewhere has truly seen into him and seen something worth adoring and loving. He thinks you are easy to love, there can be no doubt that you are worthy without the need to earn it.
“And all I can taste is this moment, And all I can breathe is your life.”
You have reminded him, again and again that you love him, that he does not need to pay for it, or gift for it. That everything that is offered is freely given, and wholehearted. That there is nothing to earn. It is not a transaction, no relationship should be. You do not keep score, and you would rather he did not either.
“And sooner or later it’s over, I just don’t want to miss you tonight.”
It still leaves him with the feeling that in seconds he could wake up, in a cold cave, surrounded by gems he no longer sees beauty in, in a world where he is nothing but broken horns and lost family.
“And I don’t want the world to see me, ‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand, When everything’s meant to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.”
He loves you, he loves his life with you, and he is so scared-
Your hands move to his cheeks, his voice halts, wavering and pausing. Blinking at you. The microphone is out of your hands and you stretch up as tall as you can pressing a kiss to his eyelids. He almost drops his own, hand tightening on your waist. You sing just for him, lips at his cheek now, and his breath escapes in a long exhale, shaking.
You are his, you are his, you are his.
When his heart wavers, yours is there, keeping it beating, in time to a song only you can hear.
He is yours, he is yours, he is yours.
“I just want you to know who I am.”
He lifts you into his arms, and he sings with you, game forgotten because it doesn’t matter. Nothing else matters. If you are happy, he is happy, and he is so very happy with you in his arms.
If he wakes up tomorrow and you are not here, he will find you anywhere. He has done it before, and he will do it for the rest of time, because you are the one who sees him.
And later, when you are laughing and stumbling through his bedroom door, trying to pull away from the uncontrolled kisses he plants on your skin, tickling you and nipping, he will swear into your skin that he will always see you too.
Whoever you choose to be.
#wonder writes#love and deepspace#sylus#lads sylus#lads x reader#lads x mc#sylus x reader#reader x sylus#lads#love and deepspace sylus#a mandated Christmas break#if you want to know the song is iris#but its the diamante and breaking benjamin cover#because the idea of sylus singing benjamin's part makes me feel feelings#i had a different next part in my head#but i got a lil weird about it...#my issue is my adhd is super dopamine happy right now#and it can't stop fixating#but the second that i reread or think too hard#i go into 'NOPE THIS IS ATROCIOUS WE SHOULD BURN IT ALL DOWN' mode#so i have to just#finish something and send it into the ether#and pray its not worse than i remember#also also... i do truly wish i could see sylus bartending#i think he would watch so many videos just to impress you#it'd be deeply fucking funny and also incredibly attractive#also also also imo drunk sylus gets clingy and emotional because his barriers come down#no one ask where the twins got moonshine#they absolutely spiked a few of sylus' wine with it tho#sorry to future sylus ur gonna have a rough time.
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Bonus tell us why in the tags!
#I'm sure your friend with 200 podcast listeners is a very serious journalist#tumblr polls#Journalism#News#News media#I used to get interviewed a semi regularly during my activist days#I once woke up hungover at 8am for what I thought was going to be a 10 minute max interview about an upcoming protest#And turned out to be an hour of live libertarian talk radio where I had to defend the core concepts of socialism to them#And I did great#Also one time a drunk driver crashed his car into my building directly below my apartment so I got interviewed about that#That was a great night. My super hot downstairs neighbor came out to watch the wreckage in these tiny slutty briefs.
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hpyu hc … hop and gloria got married in the slumbering weald. a place so picturesque that connects them together so personally with a ALTAR? literally perfect.
#i definitely feel like they got married super young like 22/23#a super small one too imo!!! sonia held the reception at her place in wedgehurst by the lake so pretty#leon cried like a fking baby LOL#raihan got way too drunk for how small the event was#pokemon#hc#hpyu#postwickshipping#rival hop#trainer gloria
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thinkign about how alone and unloved morty was for all his life and rick was the first time anyobdy ever put such an amount of intense attention and dependency onto him . and rick had a whole new family and losing them made him stop seeing the value in other people as a whole and morty was the one and first thing that woke him up
#really long Tag rant down there#one of the most Things Ever about them to me is how morty barely even understands just how much rick loves him. more than anything#and its something ricks done on purpose hes made sure of it#because hes so weak he cant handle it#them being together is agony in avsolutely every way and sense but also theyre the best part of eachothers lives#morty because nobodys payed attention to him quite like rick has and all the exciting space adventures and rick just cause. he literally#just likes him thats it. and he never knew it#also i was thinking of this earlier. one of the reasons season 1 is soooo good to me is cuz you get to see morty grow on rick in real time#stuff like that moment where morty walks through the door and rick is instantly at the sight of him SUPER excited and he goes hey!!! but#then he clears his throat and goes Hey trying to pretend like this dumb scaredy kid isnt becoming his favourite thing hes ever known day af#er day#and goddamn night shaym aliens. in that moment where he realised morty had been fake the whole time i rlly wonder what he was thinking and#how he felt. like. oh man this is messing with me way too much this is Bad#and then he got drunk over it and yknow. that . is it post credits. i think. that scene#n literally At the Very beginning he was tired n drunk n stupid thinking like man fuck this im gonna blow this place up and do what prime#did to me. But he brought morty with him Even just at that point it flashed in his mind and he absolutely could not bear to let morty die#Breathes in#im rewatching in October bc anniversary month. i literally can’t wait im so actually impatient i considered just doing it today So hard#odiespeak
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Suomi got game
#this was somehow less gay and more gay than i expected#she wanted to ''tell rfb how she feels'' so she got super drunk. then got rfb and tmp super drunk. then took them both home#and made tmp wear a brown wig to look like rfb because suomi wanted two rfbs. its tmp in bed next to her#this whole event so far is girls wanted to ''express their feelings'' to each other. i wonder if any of it will be as more than friends#like aug para. saiga and 512 are all explicitly into women so its not like gay girls is unprecedented in this game#girls' frontline
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ROUMD
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wow i can still draw how fun 😔
#while i was drunk on five different kinds of alcoholic drinks i got this urge to draw#but i didnt have my art supplies#i had to hold off but well here i am a day later#i wanted to draw myunna so much#i might do a full illustration i shall see#fragmem#fragaria memories#fragaria sanrio#fragari#fragari art#myunna#willmesh#super messy i am still drunk today too
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Ok y'all I have another story idea from my dreams.
Does it make sense? Kinda but whatever the story is really cool and I'll probably work out the logistics later
Kyoya is a robot that was designed by his father to befriend rich kids and learn their family secrets, then travel back in time to tell him so his father can use it for blackmail (stay with me here)
After doing this hundreds and hundreds of times Kyoya gets the assignment to learn about the Suoh family.
He goes through middle school for the hundredth time and actually talks to Tamaki.
But something is different, even though he cannot feel he feels like he's getting a feeling of deja vu like he's done this before.
Time passes and he's in high school now. He has grown closer to Tamaki, he still hasn't spilled any family secrets though how bizarre.
More time passes and Kyoya thinks he's malfunctioning, he feels weird near Tamaki his chest starts to hurt and his skin blushes inappropriately, he should time travel back but he doesn't want to come back empty handed and be a disappointment.
As time passes, they start a club the malfunctions get worse he makes friends this isn't right he hasn't been focusing on his main objective why is this all so familiar..?
Then one night during his charging cycle he finds a file in his system that he doesn't have access to (idk computer language just bare with me guys)
It takes him a couple days but he hacks into it.
He has done Tamakis assignment multiple times.
78 times to be exact.
All of the details about what went wrong was right there
"fallen in love" 48
"disobeyed" 40
"didn't travel back" 17
Were the most common reasonings.
Suddenly he found his memories of all of those times
Tamaki complimenting him
Attempting to punch his dad
Exploring the world without traveling back
Telling Tamaki he's a robot and him accepting him
Kissing Tamaki
He needed answers, could he love? Why did he do this? It's all to much
And I would love to keep on going in this story format but I am not that creative rn so here's how it ended (in my dream at least, maybe I'll turn this into a real fic if I get good feedback)
OK so in my dream it ended with Kyoya trying to get around his Fathers safety features so he could actually kill him and or hurt him enough to let him free so he could live w tamaki
WELL it doesn't go well turns out he had this backup backup plan that if kyoya went rogue he has this remote that basically shuts him down.
He gets restarted and his assignment is Tamaki Suoh
Round 79
Andddd yeah!
Now you might be asking "why is Kyoyas dad obsessed with the Suoh family?" Tbh it's just bc he is pissed that Kyoya isn't listening to him and now he's obsessed with finding out with what's up with the Suohs
(I'm silly in tags!)
#another dream of ouran#this is my content now#there was a lot more that happened in my dream#there was a party at my house and my science teacher was there#she got hella drunk lol#there was also a scene where kyoya fought his dad in a super market??? hikaru and Karou where there for some reason idk#ouran high school host club#hikaru hitachiin#kaoru hitachiin#kyoya ootori#ohshc tamaki#haruhi fujioka#ohshc#tamaki suoh#ouran hshc#ouran manga#kyoya x Tamaki#Kyoya x Tamaki#fanfiction#fanfic ideas#robot au#forbidden love#i love them#technically#immortal x mortal#....? does this count??#robot x human#Kyoya is a robot#kyoya is gay
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guys i got home really late and . kinda drunk . so my friend convinced me to call in sick tomorrow (i've never done it not even when i was actually sick) so i texted my manager, the one who's on shift tomorrow and i'm hoping for the best........... wish me luck?
#i'm gonna set my alarm at like 8 . just in case .#bc i was supposed to do the open tomorrow#thats the only reason why im calling in sick#any other shift i would've done without much issue#but theres no way im going in at 9am when its almost 3am rn and im still trying to sober up#just so i can go to sleep#this one manager is lovely and we get along well so im hoping she'll be fine with it#she probably knows its bc of the hangover and not bc im actually sick but#im not the first one whos called in sick bc of a hangover and i wont be the last#my other manager went out with us tonight and she also got super drunk and im her favourite so im hoping she'll back me up#WE'LL SEE#i just wanna rest properly tomorrow and SLEEP and maybe write too..#is that so much to ask for..
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okay the hank & mia ask i've been struggling with: i genuinely have no real thoughts about this show, just intense feelings. like i truly love it, all the characters and relationships, but especially these two. and i just wonder at all the ways they're similar. i always go back to the scene on the balcony
i have intense feelings about this show too and a hard time articulating so many of them, this topic included. it's funny because this is something that i've talked about absolutely non-stop for coming close to a year and have broken down from seemingly every angle and i still don't know how to pull it all together or what to say, where to start. most people who would care have heard me run the talking points through a thousand times over.
they asked duchovny this question too ("is mia at all similar to hank?") on the season 2 DVD and i literally hopped out of my seat when i heard that in my longest "i've been saying" ever, because it's something that i find very interesting and emotional but that i was a little surprised to find was as intentional as it is in the text. one of the first times that i talked about it was this tweet: "they're very similar people and it drives me crazy...when you have a dead mom, an absent dad, and you act out by putting yourself in dangerous disrespectful sexual situations."
and i used the word "disrespectful" because there's a quote of duchovny's that always reminds me of mia: "hank's lack of respect is really for himself, not for anybody else." which i think is an insightful observation about mr. moody and his relationship to women and culture and himself, but that also relates a lot to this idea of "acting out" and of sexual encounters as infringing on something personal. which is an experience familiar to that of a young woman trying to develop those relationships and sense of self, during a very spongy time where it's easy to infringe upon.
and so yeah what i'm saying is basically that hank moody has the constitution and coping mechanisms and vulnerabilities of a teenage girl (or as i put it in this tweet: "he has abandoned 16-year-old girl swag")
or how duchovny answered when they asked, is mia at all similar to hank, on the DVD: "you kinda know that there's...that her behavior is being driven by some problems, you know, and you wanna reach out and try to help that. and i think hank has a little of that too. you know, obviously they've got a history that makes everything complicated. but i think that he feels paternal towards her more than anything."
or how madeline zima put it: "mia is a wealthy girl who has had every luxury and is now probably really bored. she's been touched by hank's writing- it may be the only time she's been affected or stimulated in that way. so she's looking for something new, something exciting, and she finds that. and i don't think hank has found many people who are on his wavelength."
mia is the only character on the show that can really go toe-to-toe with hank and match him and never waver to him, which is why she's so diabolical to a certain demographic. they even call it out in the show: "did you see how completely unfazed she was by hank? i mean, no offense, he's a cool guy, but it was kind of pathetic, right?" (dani to charlie after the book meeting)
the only times that hank ever really surprises her or throws her for a loop or catches her off guard is when he's genuinely investing in her. (like when she's struggling in her writing class and he tells her that he'll help her if she just writes something and lets him read it, her eyes go SO WIDE when she has the "really? you'd do that for me?" line.)
and for the most part, outside of the obvious, mia doesn't surprise hank either. he is the only person in the world who really knows her and what she's doing and what her life is like.
we were talking in the group-chat the other night about the scene in season 2 when karen says that mia asked her opinion ("it was like she was kind of asking my approval") on dating an "older man," a scene that's one of my favorites of the series and such a delicious example of dramatic irony.
hank is instantly on offense ("i hope you shut that shit down immediately." / "why would you say something like that?" / "that's foul." / "this gross 'older man' thing.")
while karen is so much more relaxed and talking about her own times in college and how it can be a "valid life experience" with "the right guy."
and what i love about this scene is that they aren't having the same conversation, they aren't talking about the same thing, but so much of that difference is what we said: karen thinks that mia is her, hank knows that she's him.
the kind of dynamic that karen imagines when she hears her 17-year-old stepdaughter who is about to graduate and travel the country say “older man” is a world away from the reality that mia actually inhabits, and that hank knows about. as jaden pointed out when we discussed it, when karen finds out that mia is having sex with lew ashby, she freaks the fuck out!! she goes and throws shit at him and yells and cusses at him and rants at him about how she’s a child. (and hank has the nerve to go “you’re the one who condoned it” during their “parental units” phone call L.M.F.A.O.)
karen tries to look after mia and be there for her (“we are meant to be taking care of her”), but they have such a strained relationship always. and she really isn’t equipped, especially as kept in the dark as she is. it’s honestly really sad the way that you can tell mia regrets pushing karen away.
but hank knows her. he says it himself in mia culpa: “i know you. you’re a mischievous little fuck, but you’re not malicious.” (in the same scene where he tells her that she can do better than her exploitative boyfriend, that karen loves her, that becca looks up to her. holds her hand when she tears up)
and they’re able to say anything around each other. it’s this twisted thing where no one else knows their secrets. i was thinking about the other day, how duchovny always says that his favorite thing about hank moody is that he always tells the truth, and his favorite thing about mia lewis is that it’s the one time he doesn’t. it’s this pervasive exception to a rule that bonds them. the most devastating thing about it all, to me, is that there comes a time when you realize that there is no one else looking out for this girl. there is no one else who looks at her teacher and knows there’s danger. there is no one else that she feels she can call to come get her when she’s in trouble. there is no one else to read her writing or ask where she’s going when she leaves the house. (“my own father has never so much as helped with my homework” / “my dad’s always out of town, i don’t think he cares about my whereabouts”)
but they can tell each other and joke with each other and ask each other (loser shit for grown ass mr. moody but still). one of my favorite moments is when the print review of “mia’s book” comes out and she hops on his bed to wake him up so they can read it together: “it’s our review in the times!” (so much talk and discourse over her stealing his manuscript, it’s their story, it’s their book.)
in more ways than one, considering that both books (hank’s “modern day answer to lolita” and mia’s “nabokov meets judy blume”) are responses to their big secret that they intend for the person closest to them to read. hank is heartbroken when karen won’t read his new book, and we know from charlie that all it takes is “the first page” to figure out the truth. mia wants her dad to read hers, and when he calls it a “fantasy” about hank, she nearly blows the whole thing when she gets upset and snaps “who said it was fantasy?”
these are ultimately two people who want to be seen, who want to be understood, who want to be taken seriously- and they both put that pervasive truth on paper then immediately in the hands of the person that they each should fear ever finding out. it’s the defining moment of their lives, and they both try, and they both are still left with just each other. (what a trap it can be when the person you relate to the most is the most regrettable thing that ever happened to you)
it's these circumstances that lead to the scene on the balcony, my favorite of the series. they haven't seen each other since the arrest. she's back in town for the trial. and everything is so awful. each character is so much darker and weighed down. and every single time that we see mia in season 4 she's drunk or drugged or crying or all of the above.
it always makes me sad to think of her at 16 or 17 or even 19, joking around and being her "mad as a hatter" self, and then to see her on that ledge. hollywood's latest victim.
in a couple of weeks she'll be shaking in a court room, looking over at him from the witness stand, but for today she's on the balcony. remarking how easy it would be to just let go, just fall off. and still, no less tragically, there's only one person to come get her, and know what to say.
"you know what we need to do, mia?"
"what's that?"
"we need to forgive our fucking selves. you understand?"
#the way her face shatters and her chin starts to wobble when he says that they need to forgive themselves#she does understand.#remember when sasha went to get hank for help because mia was super drunk and upset but hank was ALSO super drunk and upset#and then mia nearly killed herself days after hank got out of the hospital from his suicide attempt#LADY LAWYER: how high are you? HANK MOODY: significantly.#(one episode later)#HANK: are you okay? you look vaguely high. MIA: nothing vague about it.#ultimately i think that they do just really understand each other. i think it's hard to be alone and a fuck-up#they can get in each other's heads which is another thing i didn't really get into here#sometimes mia will say something to hank that will just ferment in him until he brings the topic up to someone else near-verbatim later#and it's really compelling to watch. they have power over each other that exists when you're the only other person in the room#therefore the only person with access#hell is a teenage girl#californication
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tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"
#bakuspeech#number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u#he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up#(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out)#we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment#and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here#but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku#but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this#this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and#that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing#but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it#its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with#and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually#I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay#but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol#not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real#and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself#and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god#that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao#but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them#have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway
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grips you by the shoulders. idk and idc if it contradicts canon in my heart i know sandra met robert and chris in their last year of uni and they were the most dysfunctional friend group who drank too much and spent all their time together shittalking their classmates and she only started to drift away from them after they formed the drama society and robert and chris stopped being as fun and started being uptight and weird because they took this club wayyyy too seriously and she just wanted to put on plays with her friends and show off to an audience i knooowww in my heart that's real
#the goes wrong show#sandra wilkinson#chris bean#robert grove#marshy speaks#started writing a scene in my fic and now i'm crazy. *gives them history*#edit to elaborate: i think they started the drama society before any of them got super serious about their acting careers#like they all knew they wanted to do something in the acting field but i don't think they originally expected to stick with cornley forever#it was supposed to be a stepping stone to more established clubs........but chris and robert got drunk on the power of being in charge lol#and now they're trapped together forever 😔💔
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