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misslilli · 3 years ago

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Felix Felicis

MSR. AU. PG-13. | tagging @today-in-fic | read on AO3

Chapter 21 - The Halloween Fair

[ DS ]

On the afternoon of the Halloween fair, I take out the costume that Miss Hannigan picked out for me from the closet. Ever since I’ve got it, I’m beyond excited to wear it. It’s a black low-cut shirt, a white, checkered suit with a blazer that ties at the waist and a flaring skirt. As I put on the blonde wig and the black beret, I turn to the mirror channeling my best inner Faye Dunaway and say to myself in a breathy, southern lilt: “My, my, don’t you just look dandy, Miss Bonnie Parker!”

My friends have been roped into manning the booths of the fair and somehow, I’ve slipped under the town people’s radars, which leaves me able to roam around the fair, albeit alone. Since I’ve known most people in this town ever since I was little, I’m never actually alone at these happenings, people tend to just pull me into their conversation as I walk by. But as luck will have it, as I’m rounding one of the booths of the fair, I find myself face to face with the one person I had secretly hoped to see.

He’s wearing a brown tweed suit with a matching waistcoat and over the white collared shirt he’s tied an emerald green tie. Perched on his head is a white fedora. ‘Shit. He’s Clyde. What the fuck?’

We stop in our tracks and stare at each other for a moment, taking in our respective costumes. He’s the first one to regain his ability to speak.

“Hey Bonnie, the laws are outside, they’re blockin’ the driveway!” His Warren Beatty impression is perfect right down to the Texan drawl. ‘God help me…’

“Gosh, I hope you’ve parked the getaway car around the corner, Clyde!” I’m putting on my best Faye Dunaway impression again as I add a wink to my statement and just continue to walk past him. My heart thumping hard against my chest betrays my cool exterior, but that’s my secret and my secret alone.

----------

[ FM ]

When we finally get to the Halloween fair that Felix has roped me into, dressed up in a costume I didn’t even pick myself. We trail the grounds together and we’re drawn to the candy apple booth. Well actually, Felix draws us to this exact booth, the little sneak, but I can’t resist his pout and pleading eyes, so we end up getting an apple each. Munching away happily, his mouth full, he asks the question I’ve been too scared to ask myself: “Hey dad, do you think Miss Scully is here too with her friends?” I hope she is, if only to see what kind of costume she has picked out for herself, but I can’t tell Felix that. Instead, I just shrug and we continue our stroll across the town square.

When we round another booth, we both stop in our tracks as we see a blonde woman appear before us , dressed in a checkered suit and a beret on her head. ‘Bonnie. She’s the freakin’ Bonnie to your Clyde. Your sidekick. No, your partner in crime. The woman you love. In the movie of course. Insert awkward cough.’.

Felix is oblivious of course, he hasn’t seen the movies and I doubt he even knows what my costume is, let alone Miss Scully’s. I scrape together the last braincells that are left in my head and a stupid movie quote is the only thing I can think of at this moment.

“Hey Bonnie, the laws are outside, they’re blockin’ the driveway!” The retort she gives me combined with her wink render me speechless until she’s well past me and Felix, mingling with the small crowd that welcomes her into their midst just a few feet away from us.

Felix does the thing I wish I could bring myself to do, staring at her retreating form in wonder and he also speaks the words that have sprung to my own mind.

“Wow!”

----------

[ DS ]

Countless conversations later and a little tipsy on the delicious apple cider they always serve at the Halloween fair, I wander along the booths when I hear a voice I haven’t heard in over a year. And could’ve gone forever not hearing again. It’s my ex-whatever Steve, talking to one of his friends.

I’m hidden pretty well in the crowd of people due to my shortness but I can still catch flashes of their conversation. When I hear my name, I stop, straining my ears.

“Dana? Oh God, no. She’s not even close to being a serious contender for a relationship.” I wince at his statement as well as the tone of his voice. “She’s just always there, you know? Like a well trained Golden Retriever, I say the word and she comes running. Such an easy lay!” When they share a laugh I can feel the flush of shame and anger crawl up my neck.

The situation he describes is exactly what I’ve spent countless hours in therapy getting over. But what he says next really drives a stake through my heart. “It’s so pathetic, but if it’s what I have to do to get laid, whatever. She’s even dirtier in bed than any hot teacher fantasy you could ever imagine and what they say about good Catholic girls is very, very accurate, if you know what I mean!”

If he weren’t the demon I have to face every time I try to get over my past, I would’ve revealed myself and give his ass a good kicking for talking about me the way he has. But not knowing how I’ll react to being face-to-face with him, I stay hidden behind a group of mummies and zombies like a fucking coward.

I’m so furious with him and myself for not being able to stand up to him. Where the hell are my friends when I need them? I haven’t seen them all evening and I could really use their company to talk some sense into me. Since they’re nowhere to be found, I head towards the bar set up in the back and slide onto a stool, ordering a shot of Tequila. ‘Fuck it! That low-life is not even worth your time of day!’

On the surface, I’m so angry I want to set this whole damn place on fire, but deep down, the past hurt resurfaces to join the hurt from his words I just heard.

By the time I’ve downed my second shot, I’ve repeated the mantra that I’m a strong woman who’s better off without men in my head about a thousand times. I see someone slide onto the stool next to me out of the corner of my eye as I order another shot of Tequila to keep the two empty glasses in front of me company.

“A third shot of Tequila is just asking for trouble, if you ask me.” I turn my head slowly towards my bar-mate to tell him exactly where to shove his smart-ass remark when I’m faced with my supposed partner in crime, the charming one with the disarmingly innocent smile on his stupid face. I’m staring him down defiantly, my eyes never leaving his while the bartender places my glass in front of me and I grab it, downing it in a swift motion, daring him in my mind to say anything else. He doesn’t comment, good for him, and orders a shot for himself, just raising his glass silently and I clink it with my empty one – I’m tipsy, not insane, chasing one shot with another.

We’re staring straight ahead during our conversation, turning our glasses over and over between our fingers.

“Which guy seems to be the problem and how many rounds of ammo do I need to take him out?,” he asks after minutes of silence. I want to lean into him for just assuming that it’s a man that has me sitting here seething, but unfortunately, he’s right. This one time.

“How many rounds you got?” He scoffs at that.

“Plenty. And I know of exactly eleven ways to get rid of a body without raising suspicion.”

“And here I was thinking the FBI frowned upon their employees giving out top-level secrets on how to hide away evidence of a crime committed.”

“I’m not going to tell you, I wouldn’t want you to be held in contempt of Congress when questioned.”

“How do you know I wouldn’t rat you out when questioned by Congress?”

“Just a hunch… Talk to me, Red. What happened tonight?” He turns towards me and I can feel his gaze dancing over the skin of my face.

“You really want to know? Well, turns out the asshole of an ex of mine decided that today might be the perfect time to make an encore appearance in my life and reminded me again why I should’ve kicked him to the curb a long time ago instead of hoping I could change him.” Looking down at the bar, I trace my finger through the condensation drops, my anger slowly dissipating and my voice growing more and more quiet. “I heard him say some pretty awful things about me tonight.”

I relax into his hand when he places it comfortingly on my back, right between my shoulder blades, and huff out a sigh. “I’m sorry.,” is the only thing he says, but doesn’t add anything else, giving me the choice if I wanted to elaborate or not.

“What I witnessed today was the way he’s always been but I just couldn’t see through the masquerade of the sweet guy, he was so kind and said all the right things and he quite literally wooed the pants off me from the get-go.”

“Love bombing.” ‘Oh yeah, I forgot, you’re a profiler. You probably already got one worked out for me, trust-issues, anxious attachment style, possibly daddy issues, in short, a hot mess. Avoid at all costs.’

“Pretty much, yeah. And I was stupid enough to believe it.” I raise my hand to call over the bartender for another round.

“You’re not stupid. It’s hard to tell the difference between genuine interest and love bombing in the beginning.” ‘Yeah, no shit Sherlock. It’s exactly why I’m sitting here torn between wanting you to make a pass at me and being absolutely terrified that you actually will.’

“How about we pass on the shots and get some water instead before calling it a night?”

“I think that’s probably a good idea, Mr. Mulder!”

“You know, after tonight, what do you say we just drop the Mister?” I nods slowly, pursing my lips.

“So just Fox?” He makes a pained face.

“No, please don’t. Just Mulder is fine.”

“Mh-hm. I guess since we’re dropping the titles, that that makes me Scully? Little odd, but alright!”

We get the check and argue back and forth about who gets to pay, him putting an end to it with a firm “Will you give it a rest, you’ll get to pick up the next check!”.

In my attempt to slide off the barstool gracefully despite three tequila shots, my heel catches onto the rail at the bottom and I stumble over the stool, knocking it over in the process. I have only his quick reflexes to thank that I don’t follow suit, his arms catching me around my waist and pulling me upright again.

He has the audacity to laugh, the bastard, and I’m beyond mortified. “Easy there, partner! Do you need a ride home? Felix is at a pajama party at his friend Suzie’s house, so I’m free to be your pumpkin carriage for tonight.” ‘NO! Yes? No. Get your hands off me. Don’t let go just yet.’

I’m so confused at the tug of war in my fuzzy head but I hate getting a cab alone and I’m in heels on top of being tipsy, I don’t want to walk home alone at night.

As we walk out, his hand finds his way to the small of my back guiding me through the crowds while making sure I don’t stumble again.

On the drive to the beach house, I manage not to fall asleep despite how tired I feel, too afraid of snoring or, God forbid, drooling onto myself. His hands find my back again guiding me up the stairs to the front door and I turn to face him at the top, even more nervous.

“Thanks for the ride, Mulder. And for listening.”

“Anytime, Scully. Good night!”

When he leans in, I start to panic that this is it and I think it shows on my face, because he only kisses my cheek, just like I did after the birthday party before getting back in the car and heading home. I can’t decide if I’m relieved or disappointed.

I can’t ignore the flutter of excitement every time his hands land anywhere on my body but what I will absolutely deny, even to myself, is the way my heart constricts in my chest when he gazes at me that way and the sense of comfort that settles over me when we’re together.

Bodily reactions I can deal with, it’s when it comes to emotions is where it gets scary.

I just don’t think my heart can survive another Steve.

#xf #the x files #xf fanfic #msr #felix felicis #🥺

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thecrownnet · 4 years ago

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weekendmagsocial The Diana we’re desperate to meet. The return of The Crown [...]

*Spoilers Alert*

The Diana we’re desperate to meet. The return of The Crown will feature assassinations, avalanches and the tension between the Queen and Mrs T. But the most anticipated entrance has to be Diana’s. Today Weekend tells how they’ve captured her charisma

[...] The upcoming fourth season will take Diana from her early days as a shy kindergarten teaching assistant to a fairytale princess and an iconic global figure, as well as explore the early days of her disastrous marriage to Prince Charles.Her entrance comes when it returns to our screens in November or December, almost exactly 40 years after Nigel Dempster revealed in the Daily Mail in 1980 that Charles had found his ‘future bride’, having transferred his attention to Diana Spencer from her older sister Sarah.

Like Diana at the time, the actress playing her in The Crown is also a young unknown. Emma Corrin, 24, is a privately educated Cambridge graduate, who didn’t go to drama school.

By coincidence she’s originally from Sevenoaks in Kent, where Diana went to West Heath School from the age of 12 to 16.

Aware of how challenging the role would be for any actress, the producers started their search with a desperate call for ‘a mesmerising new young star with extraordinary range.’

The brief added, ominously: ‘She has to play charming comedy, flirt and social exhibitionist on the world stage, desperate and lonely self-harmer at her lowest ebb and the kind of psychological intensity of Mia Farrow in Rosemary’s Baby.’

It would obviously be helpful too if she resembled Diana, and in some of the new scenes, as the kindergarten teaching assistant, and wearing a pink polka-dot dress on her 1983 tour of Australia, the likeness is uncanny.

Emma’s co-star Josh O’Connor, who plays Prince Charles, agrees, saying it was ‘spooky’ how much of a ‘breathtaking spitting image’ of Diana she was.

But Emma says she has never been told she looks like Princess Diana before – although strangely her mother, who works as a speech therapist, has been! ‘I have never had that,’ she adds. ‘I get told I look like a young Jodie Foster.’

Emma spent more than two hours a day in the make-up chair to achieve the Diana look, accentuating her doe eyes, and with several wigs re-creating the journey from ingénue to one of the most stylish women in the world.

Amazingly, she was still working hard for her final exams at Cambridge when she went through the auditions for The Crown.

‘They actually offered me the part in person,’ she says of her last audition. ‘It felt like I’d just been proposed to; it was the best moment of my life. There’s a lot of pressure, but I’ve been glued to the show since the first episode and to think I’m now joining this incredibly talented acting family is just surreal.’

Peter Morgan, the creator, writer and producer of The Crown, has complete confidence in her. ‘Emma is a brilliant talent who immediately captivated us when she came in for the part.

'As well as having the innocence and beauty of a young Diana, she also has, in abundance, the range and complexity to portray an extraordinary woman who went from an anonymous teenager to the most iconic woman of her generation.’

Like all the cast in this heavily researched production, she was given a large bundle of written material and documentaries to watch, and she spent hours on perfecting the princess’s distinctive high voice with a vocal coach and learning how to re-create her particular habit of glancing up from under her fringe, as well as her graceful way of moving.

It’s not an impression, I’m going for essence - Emma Corrin, who plays Diana ‘Something they have been making clear from the start is that this is not an impression,’ says Emma.

‘I am going for essence. Any movement and voice work we have done has been figuring out why she talks the way she does, and how she was a massive departure from the Royal Family, a bit like Meghan is now I guess, by bringing something different in the way she talks.’

Season four brings back memories of naive young Diana, with a re-creation of that first photo, at the Pimlico nursery school where she worked, which showed her holding two of her charges while the sun shone through her skirt, revealing her shapely legs.

And it follows how she becomes hardened into a mature but troubled woman who is the toast of America.

The retelling of the royal romance starts with a traumatic event: the assassination of Charles’s beloved great uncle Lord Mountbatten (Charles Dance) who was killed, along with a grandson, a local boy and his son-in-law’s mother, by an IRA bomb hidden on his boat in Ireland in 1979.

Diana recalled how she’d watched Charles at the funeral on TV and when she saw him ten months later – the families were friends – she told him: ‘You must be so lonely? You know, it’s ghastly. You need someone beside you.’ He quickly decided he was in love.

Diana was turning 19 when she got together with Charles. He was 31. After 13 dates they were engaged. The rehearsal of their 1981 wedding at St Paul’s has been filmed in Winchester Cathedral with Emma wearing a replica of the blue floral dress Diana sported before the big day.

A later scene shows the joyful day when Diana, pregnant with Harry – with Emma sporting a fake baby bump – enjoyed an Easter Egg hunt at Buckingham Palace, chasing toddler William in the gardens.

The new episodes also focus on key moments – and key looks – from 1989, three years after Charles is thought to have resumed his affair with Camilla.

In one scene Emma is seen outside The Savoy hotel in London, re-creating Diana’s appearance at the Barnardo’s Champion Awards.

Emma wears a floral one-shoulder dress, reflecting one of Diana’s favourite silhouettes – a style which suited her immensely but which the Establishment is said to have hated, deeming it ‘not royal’.

Having played Charles so sensitively in season three, Josh O’Connor, 30, says the heir to the throne will be portrayed in a harsher light this time. ‘Well, it’s the Diana years,’ he says.

‘If series three was to make people feel empathy for him, I guess we’re going to pull the rug from under him. We all have a set position on the dynamic between Diana and Charles. It’s been great to have the ability to either fight against that or, at times, acknowledge it and to challenge any question of, “Did he ever love her?” Personally, I think he must have done.

'There’s a wealth of layers to Charles and Diana, and I have loved seeking that out.

'I think Diana wasn’t completely innocent – I’m talking fictionally, in our story – so there are ups and downs. There’s the difficulty with Camilla and the whole family, so it’s going to be, hopefully, an interesting arc.’

Josh says they all enjoyed delving into an era which is so crucial to the modern Royal Family. ‘Everything changed when Diana came onto the scene,’ he says.

‘I think she changed the game, and modernised them, and made them relevant again.’

Also returning are Emerald Fennell as Camilla and Erin Doherty as feisty Princess Anne.

The real Anne revealed recently that she’d watched early episodes of the show, which she found ‘quite interesting’.

Peter Morgan says, ‘So many people asked me, after she first appeared, to put more of her in there.

Anne’s often overlooked. But Erin’s portrayal means that everybody has fallen in love with her. I read that searches about her on Google went through the roof, she’s now one of the most popular royals.’

Prince Andrew’s romantic life is set to come under the spotlight too. His most famous affair was with actress Koo Stark, who is said to have threatened to sue producers if the portrayal of her is negative, while the period covered in this series also sees him marry Sarah Ferguson.

Meanwhile, Edward is seen growing up and going to university.

There was a rush to finish filming before lockdown was announced.

It meant one key scene of an avalanche had to be moved from the Pyrenees to Ben Nevis.

The incident is likely to be a re-creation of the fatal moments in 1988 when a skiing party including Charles was caught in an avalanche in Klosters.

Major Hugh Lindsay, a former equerry to the Queen, was killed and Charles was seen weeping as he was helicoptered off the slopes.

The bizarre affair when Michael Fagan broke into the Queen’s bedroom in Buckingham Palace in 1982 will also feature in this run, but the 1987 It’s A Royal Knockout embarrassment, when the lesser royals dressed in medieval garb to play games for charity, is mercifully absent.

Once this series is over, an older cast are preparing to take the lead roles, with Imelda Staunton as the Queen and Lesley Manville as Princess Margaret.

They are due to start filming next year, and die-hard fans will be cheered by Peter Morgan’s recent change of heart, when he announced in July that there will be a sixth series to come.

The Crown will return to Netflix later this year.

- Source: Daily Mail August 14, 2020

*It has just been announced that Jonathan Pryce will portray Prince Philip in season 5 and 6.

#josh o'connor #emma corrin #princess diana #the crown #the crown spoilers

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jimimn · 4 years ago

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HI ITS ME WHO'S NOT OVER JJK BLONDE SELFIE AND WILL NEVER BE -💫

HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO <33333333

HONESTLY ITS THE WAY YOH SAY SUCH NICE THINGS AND I DISAPPEAR FOR DAYS ON END BECAUSE INCONSISTENCY BLEEDS INTO EVERY CORNER OF MY LIFE FNEKALKD BUT I'M GETTING DONE WITH MY FIRST LEG OF EXAMS ON MONDAY SO YAY TO THAT!! OKAY I THINK WE'LL MOVE SLOWLY WITH BABY STEPS JUNGKOOK DROPPED SOME SELCAS JIMIN DROPPED SOME SELCAS IN THE WORDS OF THE LEGENDARY JEON JUNGKOOK ALL WE NEED NOW IS "together..BAM!" (THAT'S LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS EVER THE WAY HE SAYS IT 🤧)

YES IN THIS HOUSE WE SCREAM OVER JIMIN'S DISRESPECT HE IS THE PARAGON OF A MULTI-FACETED MAN THAT HAS US WRAPPED AROUND HIS FINGER. THE AUDACITY 😤

CHANEL X JIMIN LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN AND OMG THAT SELFIE THAT DROPPED?? SIR???? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?? I MEAN YES BH SAID LET'S DROP SELFIES IN BULK BUT THAT ONE PICTURE OF HIM IN BLACK(GREY? I DONT KNOW FHSKKAJF) WITH THE SHIRTS UNBUTTONED!!! THEM COLLARBONES ARE FREE AND THEY'RE THRIVING IN THE OPEN IN THAT ONE. ALSO HIS LIPS ARE SO PRETTY. OH GOD LITERALLY HE HAS THAT COCKY SMIRK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE KNOWS HE DOES HOT BOY SHIT LIKE SHUT UP OK YOU CANT DO THAT JAIL FOR U NDNSLSKAJJW

SUCH A FUCKING TEASE THATS RIGHT!! EVEN STRAIGHT MEN?? BRO LIKE HOW DO YOU HAVE ALL GENDERS JUST TRIPPING OVER THEMSELVES FOR YOU IT'S INSANE AND OMG MISS SHIVI HAVE YOU SEEN THAT ONE CLIP IN WHICH JIMIN HOLDS HIS GAZE WITH THESE MEN WHO LOOK AT HIM (i think it was bon voyage?) and when they cross each other he JUST SMIRKS AND RUNS HIS HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR LIKE YEAH OK ALEXA PLAY I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT. AND YES I'LL LISTEN TO EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY ANYTIME 💗💗

12PM KST IS THE HOLY HOUR I TELL YOU ALTHOUGH I REMEMBER WAITING THE NIGHT BEFORE BE CAME OUT WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO COME AND BH WAS JUST LIKE "yea...no" OMG THAT'S AWESOME YOUR COUSIN'S VISITING YOU

HHFJDOSO YEAH IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE THEY DID THE JUMP ALTHOUGHHHH I'M POSITIVE THEY'LL DO SMTH COOL LIKE THAT IN THEIR CONCERTS BECAUSE THEIR PERFORMANCE QUALITY IS JUST.. THROUGH THE ROOF IT'S CRAZY!! WHEN THE PERFORM WINGS?? LIKE HOLY SHIT NO CHOREO NO POSITIONS JUST BTS RUNNING AROUND THE STAGE MAKING THE CROWD GO FERAL I LOVE EVERY WINGS PERFORMANCE SO MUCH MY SEROTONIN LEVELS ARE ALWAYS AT A HIGH THEN. OOHH MY GODDD BS&T IS REALLY THAT BITCH!!!! WHO'S DOING IT LIKE HER TODAY NO ONE IS EXACTLY. AND NOOOO I TOTALLY GET IT WE THINK ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH THAT ACCIDENT HAS THE SAME EFFECT ON ME. IF ONLY YOU'D TOLD ME THEN IN 2016 THAT THAT ACCIDENT WAS THE START OF SO MANY I'D BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING THAT FOLLOWED (see: him basically stripping himself that one serendipity performance. holy shit.)

FOR REAL THO CHRISTMAS LOVE DROPPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND DO YOU REMEMBER JIMIN SAYINF uUH iM nOt wORkInG oN a SoLo SoNg aT ThE mOmEnT heHe LIKE ALL MEN DO IS LIE OK AT THIS POINT. BYE. YES TAEHYUNG DID WARN US BUT ARMYS (LIKE MYSELF) PUT THEIR CLOWN WIGS ON AND THOUGHT IT WAS KTH1 LMAO. OMG I HOPE YOU DON'T SLEEP THROUGH ANY OF THEIR UPCOMING SONG RELEASES BUT I'M SURE IT'S THE BEST FEELING TO WAKE UP TO CHECK YOUR NOTIFS AND SEE "Big Hit Labels" BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE FIREEE. DUDE SERIOUSLY I NEED JIMIN TO GO LIVE AGAIN (although we've been well fed by namjoon for now🤧😌💗) LIKE THAT ONE YT LIVE WHERE HE SAID "O...M...G" SHUT UP STOP BEING SO CUTE I'M DHJSWLIFJWKALS

LMAO OKAY YEAH THAT'S VALID YOUR BLOG THEME IS BASICALLY ✨jimin✨ AND I LOVE THAT IT REALLY GRAVITATED ME AND YOUR URL OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD YOUR BRAINNN 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️

YES YES YES JIMIN IS SO PERFECT AND THE SOCK DOODLESSS 😭😭😭 oooo so when did you get into giffing? how did you start? BROOOOO YOUR URL'S ORIGIN STORY. I LOVE IT WOW YES IT'S DEFINITELY GOT THE REQUIRED ✨pazzaz✨

NOOO OMG THIS URL IS YOUR BRAND LIKE YOU'RE A LEGEND ON ARMYBLR I LOVE IT SO MUCH. BUT STILL!! IT'S YOUR CHOICE AT THE END 💖

OMG QUARANTINE DID IT'S ONE GOOD JOB AND GOT YOU INTO BANGTAN YAY. OMG YOU AND MISS LIFEGOESMON ARE FRIENDSS??? LEGENDS INTERACTING THIS IS SO COOL. LMAO THE PARADIGM SHIFT YOU MUST'VE FELT FROM LISTENING TO STAY GOLD (WHICH BTW THE MV...THE LITERAL CUTEST OH GOD THE LITTLE DOG AND JIMIN'S LITTLE SMILES DHSJAOWO) TO THEN GOING TO BST IN WHICH JIMIN IS BASICALLY STRIPPING AND JUNGKOOK IS UPSIDE DOWN LMAOOO. YES BS&T HAS EVERYONE HOOKED THE POWERRRR. YOU FALLING DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WITH YOUR FRIEND'S ASSISTANCE OH GOD THIS IS SO CUTE 💓 EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM 🥺🥺🥺

AAAAH OKAY MY STORY ISN'T AS INTERESTING AS YOURS IS BUT IN 2016 BASICALLY ALL I KNEW OF KPOP WAS GANGNAM STYLE AND WASNT WILLING TO CUANGE THAT PERCEPTION (FOOL BEHAVIOUR I TELL YOU) AND WAS TOO BUSY OBSESSING OVER ONE DIRECTION'S REUNION AND SO ONE NIGHT (THE NIGHT BEFORE JIMIN'S BIRTHDAY 🤧🤧) I JUST STUMBLED UPON THEIR BS&T TEARS MV AND I HEARD IT AND I WAS LIKE OMG!! THIS IS THAT SUPER ADDICTIVE SONG THAT I'D HEARD SOMEWHERE AND IT JUST SPIRALLED FROM THERE I REMEMBER SEEING JIMIN AND BEING LIKE 👀👀👀👀 WHO IS HE I LIKE HIM AND JUST HIS AURA DREW ME IN SOOO MUCH AND WHEN I WAS GETTING INTO THEM I REMEMBER WRITING THEIR NAMES IN MY NOTES TO SEE IF I COULD REMEMBER 🤧 AND I STILL HAVE THAT NOTE FROM 4+ YEARS AGO 💓 AND YEAH BASICALLY SEEING THEM DO ALL THE MUSIC SHOWS AND STUFF AT THE TIME WAS SO COOOL AND MIND YOU BH DIDN'T HAVE SUBS FOR BANGTAN BOMBS THEN SO WENT ON THESE SKETCHY DAILYMOTION TYPE SITES LOOKING FOR ALL THE CONTENT I COULD CHURN OUT LMAO

AND YES!! COURTESY OF YOU I DID WATCH SOME RUN EPS!! I WATCHED THEIR CANADA ONES SPEAKING OF WHICH I LOOOVE THAT PART WHERE THEY'RE DOING THAT SONG GUESSING THING IN THE MORNING AND JIMIN SAYS "are you cold?" 🥺🥺 TO TAE AND HUGS HIM URRHRHEHSJSJSH AND I ALSO SAW THE ONES WITH THE PUPPIES GODDDDD I LOVE THE PUPPIES ONE SO MUCH LITERALLY JUNGKOOK AND HIS DOG (MIRI?) OH MY GOD THAT LIL FLUFFER AND ADAM IS MY ICON WITH HOW HE JUST DID HIS OWN THING LMAO.

BUT ANYWAY!! DO YOU HAVE A FAVE ERA?? LIKE DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THEM AND GO "Damn I wish I was a fan then" BECAUSE HONESTLY I WISH I HAD STANNED THEM IN THEIR DOPE ERA BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE SURVIVED JIMIN THEN DHKSOWID-💫

FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME!!!!!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!!! I TOTALLY TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!!!! AND YAYYYYY CONGRATS I HOPE THE FIRST LEG OF EXAMS WENT WELL <333333 AND OH MY GOD you’re gonna make me cry with the together baam goddddddd same one of my fave moments and jimin’s giggles after that 😭😭😭😭 my babies <3 :((((

that..... black suit selca....... that opened button...... like open one more dear sir who’s stopping you... just do it <33333 YEAH he totally needs to shut up with his i know im hot side it just kills me every single time 😭😭😭😭😭

LISTEN THAT BV3 MOMENT S H O O K ME OKAY????? THOSE GUYS LOOKED AT HIM AND HE WAS SO FUCKING SMUG ABOUT IT (AND HE SHOULD BE) AND THE WAY HE LICKED HIS LIPS AND RAN HIS HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR????? LIKE HE KNOWS HE HAS EVERY SINGLE PERSON; NO MATTER WHAT GENDER; WRAPPED AROUND HIS LIL PINKY LIKE THAT???????

OH MY GOD ME TOO I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE THE WINGS STAGE AND WATCHING THEM HAVE SO MUCH FUN IS JUST SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I ALSO ABSOLUTELY LOVVVEEE THEIR ENERGY DURING THE SY TOUR MEDLEY WITH IDOL AND BAEPSAE AND FIRE AND DOPE ZSXDFGFCHGVJBHJN THEY JUST LOSE THEMSELVES IN THE CROWD AND THE MUSIC AND ITS JUST SO FUCKING SURREAL TO WATCH HOW MUCH THEY ENJOY DOING WHAT THEY DO!!!!! kinda makes me want to find that happiness and passion in whatever i do in my professional life <3 and LISTEN jimin said the break the soul commentary THAT HE COULD DO SERENDIPITY SHIRTLESS TOO. THE AUDACITY. HE SAID THAT WITH HIS WHOLE CHEST.

YOU KNWO WHAT I THINK JIMIN WON’T GIVE US A HINT BEFORE DROPPING PJM1. HE’LL JUST DROP IT ONE FINE DAY OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE HE DROPPED PROMISE AND CHRISTMAS LOVE (i wasn’t here when he dropped promise but i read that on twitter sdfghjkl) AND NO PLS NO I DO N O T WANT TO SLEEP THROUGH JJK1 OR KTH1 OR PJM1 OR KSJ1 OR NAMGI MIXTAPE 3 OR HOBI MIXTAPE 2 OR ANYTHING BASICALLY YOU GET IT i had slept through dynamite cb because i had NO CLUE that they were gonna drop it at 1pm kst rather than 12 am kst. i was under the impression that since they dropped all the teaser pictures and the teaser itself as 12 am kst, the mv will drop at 12 am kst too. and I woke up like two hours after the mv dropped (which was almost noon my time) and i felt like A FUCKING FOOL AND I JUST 😭😭😭😭 NEVER WANT TO FEEL LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN 😭😭😭

AND YES BABIE NEEDS TO COME LIVE SOON PLS I MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH :((((( AND HIS O...M.....G HAD MADE ME FUCKING SOBBBBBBBBBBB his yt live god he looked sooooooo fluffy with his hair and his tiny hands and his puppy eyes and soft voice im just so 😭😭😭😭😭😭

NO NONNONONONO PLEASE IM NO LEGEND DON’T SAY THAT IM EMBARRASSED im just a normal fangirl who makes okayish gifs 😭😭 and ok yes so i started giffing LONNNGGGGGG time back on a different public fan forum from my country but i never knew the right process and stuff so obviously the gifs were shitty lmao BUT ANYWAY i got into gifmaking PROPERLY this in july last year and obviously struggled a lot in the beginning because i didn’t know shit about colouring and stuff lmao but i kept practicing and even though im not perfect rn i do think that i got better. i love giffing tho. its such a nice creative outlet and whenever i gif the boys it brings me so much happiness :( <33

AND YES ASDFGHJKL ME AND HER ARE FRIENDS SINCE A VERY LONG TIME SDFGHJK LIKE LONG BEFORE BOTH OF US GOT INTO BTS SDFGHJ and ah yes the whiplash lmaooooooo and you’re right god the stay gold mv is SO FUCKING PRETTY THE COLOURS IN THAT ENTIRE MV HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND JIMIN AND TAE AND JOON WITH THE DOGGO JUST EVERYTHING SDFGHJK <3333333 AND BS&T DUDE I GIFFED THE MV YESTERDAY AND IM 💀💀💀💀💀 (like i just giffed jimin from the mv but i did watch the whole thing 5647589 times <333333) AND GUESS WHAT!!!!!! I WAS A LILLY SINGH FAN (IDK IF YOU KNOW HER SHE’S A YOUTUBER) BACK IN 2016 AND PEOPLE BACK THEN HAD REQUESTED HER TO REACT TO BS&T MV AND I HAD WATCHED HER REACTION VIDEO AND (although it didn’t stick with me back then because i was a fucking fool) I DID SOMEHOW REMEMBERED THE JIN AND STATUE KISSING MOMENT AND WHEN IN 2020 I SAW THE MV AND SAW THE KISSING MOMENT MY BRAIN JUST!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE SOMEWHERE AND THEN I REMEMBERED I HAD SEEN THIS IN THE REACTION VIDEO LMAOOOOO i wish i hadn’t been a fool and gotten into them back then :((((

AH NO OMG YOUR STORY IS SOOOOOOO CUTEEEEEEEEEE ATLEAST YOU WEREN’T A FOOL LIKE ME TO NOT GET ATTRACTED TO BS&T THE FIRST TIME OF SEEING IT!!!! I WANNA HIT MY 2016 SELF LIKE DAMN YOU YOU FOOLISH ASSHOLE AND yes omg how did y’all do the subs thing damnnnnn i can’t imagine

AND YES THE CANADA RUN EPIS ARE LOOOVVVEEEE and that vmin moment plsssssss i cry everytime 😭😭😭😭😭 it is just so soft and innocent and tae’s little smile after jimin just turns around and hugs him 😔😔😔😔 i love soulmates 😔😔😔😔 AND MIRI YES OMG EVERYONE WAS SO IMPRESSED BY THE LITTLE CUTIE AND THE WAY JUNGKOOK JUST KEPT ADORING HER THROUGHOUT MADE ME SO SO SOFTTTT and bro adam is me. i am like that. lazy and un-motivated AF. although if i were a dog and jin were to be my owner i would listen to him so well and jump on him every chance i’d get 😌😌😌

GOD YES RED HAIR DOPE ERA JIMIN 💀 BABIE BUT MAKE IT SEXY 🥵🥵 AND OMG YESDGFHG MY FAVE ERA IS HYYH. ORANGE HAIRED JIMIN. PLS. HE’S EVERYTHING. I WISH I HAD GOTTEN INTO THEM DURING THAT. LIKE THAT ERA IS ..... SOMEHOW SO FUCKING WILD AND STILL SO ASSURING AND CALMING ????? KEEPS ME ROOTED LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN DFGHJKL AND WINGS TOO DAMN I WISH I WAS HERE TO LIVE ALL THOSE AMAZING ERAS. but even though i wish i had gotten into them earlier... i think i found them when i needed them the most. I was going through a very difficult time last year and they somehow they made me feel so fucking safe and at home that the connection was instant. honestly i’ve never stanned or felt a connection with any celebrity as strong as the one i feel with bangtan. its like... they don’t know i exist but they still know EXACTLY what im feeling and what to say or do at that time to make me feel comforted. Its weird god but its true :((( SORRY I GOT EMO I JUST LOVE THEM A LOT SDFGHJKL

#anonymous #replied #💫

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watching-pictures-move · 3 years ago

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Put On Your Raincoats #15 | Rainbows in the Dark

To the extent that a porn director crossed over to the mainstream, Gregory Dark would be it. Certainly, there have been directors who did one or two porn features early in their careers, like Abel Ferrara, William Lustig and Wes Craven, but they're known almost entirely for their mainstream work. There are also porn directors who did maybe one mainstream movie, like Gerard Damiano, but their careers were relegated to porn for the most part. Dark is the rare director who was prolific on both sides, so to speak, starting with massive hardcore hits like New Wave Hookers, moving on to directing softcore, thrillers and softcore thrillers with some regularity and eventually becoming a popular music video director. My initial plan was to explore the full gamut of Dark's career. I wanted to get a sense of each phase of his work and to see what elements of his style translated across them. Essentially I wanted to understand Dark as an auteur. But then something miraculous happened. I got lazy. (Also I had a muted reaction to some of his movies and became more interested in another director in the meantime.) So I decided to limit my exploration to a few of his early movies and call it a day.

The first one I watched was New Wave Hookers, his best known hardcore title and considered a classic in the genre. What I expected going in and what worked for me can be deduced from the title. Dark's visual style very much brings to mind the "new wave" in the title: big hair, fog machines and neon lighting, all of which are first seen in the opening credits, in which the female talent almost ritualistically present themselves to the camera. There's some stylistic precedent in the work of Rinse Dream AKA Stephen Sayadian (the artist I got more interested in as I delved into Dark's work), but Sayadian's aesthetic feels culled from the art underground. (Dark reuses a few of Sayadian's actors in some of his films.) Dark's style feels more commercial, almost packaged for MTV. (Dark intended his film as a reaction to hardcore porn features of his era, although I'd argue that his choice of camera angles still feels in line with other films of the era.) This is a movie that looks good and, thanks to some choice music courtesy of the Plugz (whose song "Electrify Me" accompanies the opening credits) and the Sockets (who provide the theme song), sounds good too.

What I gelled to much less was the sense of humour. The movie opens with two buddies played by Jamie Gillis (wearing a tie over a t-shirt) and Dark regular Jack Baker shooting the shit and watching another Dark production. ("That fuckin' guy looks exactly like you. Is that you?") Baker starts expounding on his thoughts about pimping and "programming" women to fuck with music. Baker also notes, "a pimp calls a chick a bitch". They doze off, and when they wake up they find themselves inexplicably in an office. Baker is wearing a yellow tracksuit, Gillis is sporting an East Asian accent, and there's a guy on the floor substituting for their phone. (Gillis asks: "Why do we not have a regular telephone?" Baker explains: "He got the power, the second sight.") As the movie proceeds to make good on its premise, wherein women have sex after listening to new wave music, we're treated to a steady stream of racial taunting. Baker grouses about black music being ineffective for their purposes, dropping the N-bomb. Gillis continues with his accent. The two get into racially charged arguments. A middle eastern client is served in a tent and barks like a dog after he's finished. At one point, Gillis wants sushi and is served by Kristara Barrington while East Asian style music plays on the soundtrack. I recognize that a lot of humour from the era is extremely politically incorrect and has aged poorly, but there's something about Dark's use of racist and misogynist humour that feels especially confrontational. I admit I was a bit bothered by all of this.

Still, there are moments of humour that did work for me. One of the headsets that the characters use has dildos protruding from both earpieces (pointing outwards, of course), and the production design, while not always stylish, is at least endearing in its blatant cheapness. To their credit, Baker and Gillis have undeniable chemistry and do sell the material as well as they can. (I laughed when Gillis, when confronted by the vice squad, drops his accent and exclaims "I used to work in your fuckin' office, and now I'm rich, I'm satisfied, and I'm Chinese, you assholes." Am I a bad person? Probably.) And in terms of how it meets genre expectations, I do think Ginger Lynn and Kristara Barrington have a real magnetism in their scenes.

Given the racial content in New Wave Hookers, it probably won't surprise anybody that Dark was a pioneer in interracial pornography. I am not a sensitive enough writer to begin unpacking all the implications of the concept, but I did watch one of his movies in the subgenre, Black Throat. This was a shot-on-video effort and looks considerably cheaper and uglier than New Wave Hookers, but shares some other qualities. It opens and closes with a punk song that references that film as well as Let Me Tell Ya Bout White Chicks, Dark's first interracial feature, and to be honest, the song is pretty fucking catchy. The movie follows Roscoe, a man who wears yellow sunglasses and both a polo and a Hawaiian shirt and his friend Mr. Bob, a talking rubber rat. He's searching through the garbage while arguring with Mr. Bob over what to eat when he finds a business card. "Madame Mambo's House of Divine Inspiration Thru Fellatio!" (All of the characters pronounce fellatio differently. Mr. Bob says "fell-uh-tee-oh" and calls Roscoe a "fuckin' honky", to which he responds "Fuck you, Mr. Bob!")

Roscoe insists he has to find her. "If I don't find her, I'm gonna die!" (When asked why, he responds, "I dunno, it sounded kinda dramatic, I guess.") Mr. Bob enlists the help of a "young urban professional pimp" named Jamal, played by Jack Baker. (He prefers the term "flesh broker" and describes upgrading his diet, clothes and investments.) Roscoe, Mr. Bob and Jamal go from scene to scene, watching other characters having sex in different racial combinations, asking them where they can find Madame Mambo. (Sometimes they ask the characters directly, other times they talk to their private parts.) The best of these scenes, in my humble opinion, is a light domination flavoured sex scene featuring Christy Canyon. Perhaps because of the dynamic, there's an element of actual acting involved here, and because Canyon is, uh, pleasingly proportioned and has a certain magnetism, I found this scene more engaging than the others, at least until it turns into a regular sex scene.

Eventually they go back to Roscoe's place and find a voodoo ritual taking place where a black woman with multicoloured hair (think the George H.W. Bush rainbow wig from the Simpsons, but straight, not curly) is jumping on their bed while a bunch of white dudes in hats, capes and sunglasses jack off around her. This of course is Madame Mambo and at this point the movie makes good on the title while drumbeats and funk play on the soundtrack. Given the premise, this movie proved (thankfully) lighter on racial humour than I expected going in. There is an element of racial critique in Baker's character, and Madame Mambo is certainly exoticized, but the racial content otherwise is limited to the interracial couplings and doesn't overload the dialogue. However, this is a fairly ugly looking movie, shot on video, featuring unimpressive camerawork and lighting as well as extremely cheap looking production design (although the movie does mine this for laughs). I also found the sex scenes overlong and the music a bit repetitive. I imagine if you were jerking off to this back in the '80s it was easier to get through, but trying to watch it now as an actual movie, despite some decent humour throughout, proved a bit of a challenge.

The next one I watched was White Bunbusters, which despite the first half of the title is not particularly racially charged. The theme song here, crooned in the style of early '60s rock'n'roll, explains that the movie is about anal sex, as the second half of the title suggests. We begin with Tom Byron thrusting into his wife Shanna McCullough (while wearing his glasses) only to be disappointed by her refusal to take it in the butt. The next day at the office (decorated by construction paper all over the walls, drawers sketched in magic marker and a crude sign with their business' name "Acme Proctology"), he hears an ad for the "A-Busters", an enterprising duo who will convince your wife or partner to let you put it in their butt. We cut to the A-Busters office and see them in yellow shorts, lime green suspenders and orange baseball caps, fiddling with their hi-tech instruments (which include an "anal listening device"). Soon we see them go to work on Jack Baker's girlfriend, taking a cash payment after the fact.

Meanwhile, Byron's friend Greg Rome hears about his woes and offers to let him fuck his wife Keli Richards (Rome is named Bob and Richards is named Bobette). Of course Byron takes advantage of Rome's generous offer, but later gets annoyed when Rome insists it was a "one time deal". They're interrupted by Jennifer Noxt, who asks about a secretarial position for the law office next door. Rather than correcting her, which would be the right thing to do, they have sex with her, which is absolutely not the right thing to do. ("So do I get the job?" "We'll call you later, baby.") We go back to the A-Busters, who go to work on a pornstar warming up for her first anal scene (the movie is called Hershey Highway to Hell). Eventually, Byron decides to make use of their services, and in the climax, when he's having a nice dinner with his wife (complete with plastic cups and paper plates), they crash the party and get to work. After it's all over, Byron thanks the A-Busters and shakes one of their hands, only to promptly wipe it off on his suit.

This is as lo-fi as Black Throat, and features a lot of raunchy humour, but thankfully no real racial content outside of the title. Perhaps because the focus is on a specific set of acts (threesomes, anal sex, double penetration), the execution seems more consistently energetic. The ratio of the threesomes is a little off from what I prefer, but I was not unmoved by the scenes involving Keli Richards, Jennifer Noxt and Shanna McCullough. I realize there are more dignified ways to spend one's time than watching in its entirety and singing the praises of a movie called White Bunbusters, but sometimes the lizard brain takes over. I feel compelled to report the facts, and the facts are that this is good at what it does. As an actual movie, there isn't a whole lot to this, but were I to rate this on the Peter-Meter as the filmmakers intended, it would fare respectably.

Where Gregory Dark's style and the sum of his provocations really worked for me was in The Devil in Miss Jones 3: A New Beginning and The Devil in Miss Jones 4: The Final Outrage, a two-part odyssey through hell. (Attentive viewers may note that the original Devil in Miss Jones takes place before the heroine is sentenced to hell, but this is not a direct sequel. There is also a second part by Henri Pachard and later sequels directed by Dark that I did not see. The narrative in the third and fourth entries feels pretty self contained.) The movie begins with close-ups of our heroine, played by Lois Ayres, taking a shower while "A Christian Girl's Problems" by the Gleaming Spires plays over the soundtrack, her interiority hinted at with an astute song choice. (It's worth noting that this was not an original song made for the movie.) The structure intersperses her story with a series of interviews with those who knew her: an ex-boyfriend who "had a disagreement about the relationship" (he slept around); a woman speculates that Ayres was "a closet lesbian" and that "she probably went to live in one of those lesbian islands in the Caribbean"; a girl who knew her as a prude back in high school, a priest with a thick accent who offers a eulogy; her brother, who speaks in new age euphemisms and resents that she was the favourite growing up; and a blind ex-boyfriend who claims she was the loveliest person he knew "after Helen Keller". (This last character describes his sex life as very "normal": no peeing or dogs, wouldn't fuck pizzas, etc.) All these people knew her, but they didn't really know her.

The actual story follows her after she breaks up with her boyfriend (over the phone, as he shaves another woman's pubic hair while feigning innocence). She heads for a bar, brushing off a stereotypical black pimp played by Jack Baker who mistakes her for a prostitute, and promptly orders a "taco" (a draught beer, a Bloody Mary, and a draught beer in three separate glasses). Beside her is a man asleep on bar in tuxedo, who turns out to have been stood up at his own wedding. They hook up, leading to a sex scene scored by a blaring saxophone that I assume was practice for Dark's softcore work. The scene ends when the heroine knocks her head against the headboard and wakes up in a pitch black space near a grave. In comes Jack Baker, riding atop a woman, to tell her what the situation is. "You are dead, you got no clothes, and this is hell!"

The rest of the movie follows them going through different rooms, the heroine being unable to comprehend her fate, as they watch the different punishments endured by the denizens of hell. There's the room full of "peepers", virgins doomed to only watch sex for all eternity. (One of them explains: "I showed my tits to a guy to get a Gucci purse. He went off an overpass.") There are characters doomed to fuck until their genitals wear out or are ravaged by venereal disease. Baker gives Ayres a raincoat "to keep the come off", but the moment she forgets about it she finds herself getting gangbanged and promptly has to be rescued by Baker (okay, not that promptly, we get to enjoy this for a few minutes). Along the way we're led to believe from the interviews that the heroine might have a fetish for black men, and the conversation between Ayres and Baker grows increasingly heated and racially charged. This idea culminates in a trip to the "racist room", where a white man with a swastika armband is having a threesome with two women of colour while a white woman is sucking off two black men in tribal makeup. Ayres and Baker have a final confrontation on the subject.

"What about all the black racists?"

"Look bitch, when a black man hits a white man, we don't call it racist!"

"What do you call it then?"

"Smart!"

"That's ridiculous, there are plenty of black racists!"

"No dig, you stupid ass white bitch!"

"Look, you're even one of them, calling me a stupid bitch and a white bitch!"

"We'll you're stupid, you're white and a bitch, so what is your motherfucking problem?"

"You're crazy, negro, and you're one of the sickest people in here!"

"That's right, I'm a crazy negro! I'm so crazy I'll eat my own arm!"

This is a deeply uncomfortable scene, and what follows is even more disturbing, as we learn the true nature of the heroine's relationship with her father, a reveal that Dark plays for maximum shock value in depicting "The Ordeal of the Taboo Breakers".

In some ways this isn't all that different from New Wave Hookers, but Dark's direction seems more purposeful here. The stylized depiction of hell, with its black backgrounds and harsh neon lighting, imbue a real sense of menace into the proceedings. With the exception of two scenes, the sex isn't all that outrageous, but Dark's mise-en-scene has a way of rendering it almost as horror. It's not exactly scary and probably still "does the trick" if you're watching this for those reasons, but there's an undeniable charge here. Likewise, the dark humour and the racial content seem to work in tandem here, and Ayres and Baker really sell their adversarial chemistry. (It's worth noting that even by the standards of the video vixens that appear in Dark's movies, Ayres has an amazing hairdo.) Dark may not have entirely thought out his thesis along these lines, but the movie is provocative in its handling of this content, and unlike New Wave Hookers, not in a way that hurts it. At a combined 2+ hours, this probably runs a bit too long, but it does shape the usual procession of sex scenes into a structure that carries an uneasy momentum that matches the heroine's trepidation. We might not like what we're seeing, but we also can't help but keep looking.

#film #put on your raincoats #movie review #gregory dark #new wave hookers #black throat #white bunbusters #the devil in miss jones 3: a new beginning #the devil in miss jones 4: the final outrage

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monsteronfire · 5 years ago

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Thoughts on MOTS: 7

Overall - This album is this wild mix of heavy, hardcore and fun. Some songs hit hard with a dark feel that can be both heavy, but also make you feel strong. “Oh you’re plagued by darkness and pain? Fucking fight it. Knock that bitch out.” Alternatively there are songs on there that are so sweet and fun that you’re living in an entirely different dimension with them. They feel nostalgic, they feel endearing, they make you remember a time when life was simpler and sweeter, and full of adventure. At some moments I feel like a kid again, walking the side street next to my old house that lead back into a small wooded area. I remember all the times that made me love my life back then and remind me that I can make similar memories even now. And at other times I just feel serene. Like I’m finally content with my life and myself.

Interlude: Shadow - Once again Yoongi has come at us hard with reality and the legitimacy of feelings and emotion. You come in feeling hot and then you read the lyrics and are like, “Damn bro, why you gotta make me face the darkness like that?” But you still love it all the same.

Black Swan - Feels dark AF, but also an anthem. I don’t know the lyrics yet, but I simultaneously feel lost and strong at the same time.

Filter - JIM-MOTHERFUCKIN-IN! Das all I gotta say! His voice is like when honey catches the light at the exact right time and you’re blinded by this golden glow. It’s so smooth. Feels both dangerous, but so fun and light. Like I wanna dance, but also dance dirty, you know?

My Time - Here come our baby JK again! Showing us just how talented he is once again. The song feels diverse just as it goes along, switching from fast, rap-like lines to slower chorus and bridges. His higher pitch carries you away and reminds you that he sings like a damn fuckin angel. This is Heaven my friends

Louder than bombs - THIS 👏 FCKN 👏 SONG! 👏 You can feel the weight of this song even without knowing its background or the lyrics. It is heavy right from the get go and it makes my heart go wild the moment it starts. I feel as if I’ve been sent into another universe where I’m fighting a fucking war and this is the anthem of my battles.

ON - Heavy and hard, an anthem for the pain that makes us stronger. This song wants you to stand up and keep swinging, y’all. Feels fun, but it’s strength pure and simple. Fight to your last breath. Also JK’s high note bridge? Like fuck.

UGH! - STRAIGHT UP! This song is BTS calling out hate. Fast paced and hardcore, I hope y’all got a hold on your wigs. Rap line done did it again. Time to throw up the middle finger to people who feel big and tough, and like to shit on others. Come out swingin bby! If you get anon hate, just reply with a link to this song.

00:00(Zero O’Clock) - One of the most soothing songs I’ve heard. I feel chill, content, at peace, soothed when I listen to this. Unlike 2! 3!- which felt a little bittersweet to me- this song actually makes me feel better. Soft, chill, cuddly feelings.

Inner Child - Bby Tae’s fun, sweet anthem. Like remembering that best friend you fell in love with as a child because you guys did everything together and were always there for each other. A story to its core, it feels fun and uplifting.

Friends - F U N! So sweet and you feel the pure energy of Chim and Tae’s love for each other. This song reminds you just how close they are and that their brotherhood will get them through anything. Very sweet and fun, I feel nostalgic listening to it. Makes me think of memories of my best friends.

Moon - Upbeat and fun, it feels like an adventure. Like you’re being pulled in one direction, but then Jin comes and grabs your hand, tells you to forget that shit, and drags you away to see and do things you’ve never done before. He comes out swigin’ with them high notes again and reminds us all that he is a vocal king and we better not fucking forget it.

Respect - Namgi come at us again with the bond that they share that we never really get to see or hear about. They’ve been at this together the longest and you get to feel that again like back in the day. Feels fun and upbeat, though I don’t know the lyrics. Feels like brotherhood between two individuals that are familiar with darkness, but are getting better day by day- together. Definitely has an old school BTS feel and I love it.

We Are Bulletproof: the eternal - You see We Are Bulletproof and expect it to come out swingin’ with hard beats and clap-backs, but fuck are you wrong. Soft and bittersweet. Once again you feel its weight even without lyrics. We are reminded once again what these boys have been through, how strong they are and how unbreakable their bond truly is. They have faced hell a million times in only 7 years and they are unbreakable because of it. They may fall, but they will never stay down. 7 boys that grew together into men and walk ever forward without stopping. Group members, friends, brothers. But in the end they make sure to remind us of their love for us and include ARMY.

Ego - HOBI TYPE OF FUN! Hobi has always been my favorite rapper. His style just appeals to me more and I love how much fun he always wants to have with what he’s trying to say. Even if it’s dark. Speaks of growth through hardship, but reminds you that Hobi is never on his knees for long. He is the Sun. His light can’t be snuffed out and he’s always reminding us of that. Bright.

ON (Feat. Sia) - Okay, I’m about to be really real about this, so prepare yourself. I’m not trying to hate, but this one just felt unnecessary. It’s literally just Sia in the chorus. That’s it. She didn’t add anything extra, no little snippet of her own part in the song, they just changed the chorus to English and had Sia sing along with it. Feels like an obsolete addition and more of a cop-out just to add a colaberation on there. I hope if there’s an MV with her added there’ll be more to it, but for now I feel like there was little to no reason to tack this on at the end. I don’t hate it, I’m not trying to talk shit, but it just feels like a useless addition.

#bts #bangtan sonyeondan #bts mots 7 #mots 7 #map of the soul: seven #map of the soul: 7

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clarkgriffon · 5 years ago

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The 100 aesthetics/preference tag game!

I thought it would be fun to do a tag game based solely on what your hair, outfit, season, etc. preferences are! And also to make the fandom a little lively again! So here we go!

Tagged by @goddess-clarke and @pendragaryen, two icons.

Rank the seasons from favorite to least favorite: Let’s see... aesthetically? 1>2>3b>6>4>3a>5 (taking one from you @goddess-clarke and splitting s3 into two because 3a is not the vibe, but 3b sure is).

Rank Clarke’s hair through the season from best to worst: 1>2>6>4>5>3 Look, I just love the princess crown hairstyle on her + her hair down in the first few episodes of S2 is godly. I really love the short hair on Eliza too... if they’d just let her use her natural hair! Instead they give her these shitty semi-curl wigs? That look bad? S6 was an improvement on S5, where the wig changed colors every episode, but it was still not great.

Rank Bellamy’s hair/beard through the seasons from best to worst: 1>2>4>3>5>6. I know I’m putting 1 first a lot, but GOD, the S1 aesthetic is where it’s AT. There’s just no debate for me. I know a lot of people adore the long curls of Bellamy in S3 but I feel like they’re a tad too long for me (they give me emo boy vibes, which works for S3 but wouldn’t work for say... S2 or 1). I’m team #nobeardbellamy, of course, not because bob doesn’t rock the beard, but because the team styles it incorrectly. Bob with the beard at cons? MY LORD. I will say Bellamy has his LEWKS in S5 though every once in a while (5x03+5x13 anyone?)

The real debate: the blue shirt or the tan?

Clarke’s blue dress or pink dress?

Favorite raven season: S3 actually. Her blue tanktop and the way Lindsey just killed the acting. That scene in Fallen where Lindsey does the pullups while reciting “Nevermore” gives me CHILLS every time.

Ravens ark vest or red jacket and ponytail or her s6 look

Octavia’s hair in s2 (the braids) or s4 (the ponytail)? I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a thousand times, Octavia is the hottest when she’s crazy. S4 Octavia? S5 (at times)? That’s hot. S1-3? I got nothing.

Murphy with long hair or short hair? I feel like most will say short hair here, and I’ll agree, but I didn’t hate the long hair that much. I think it just made him look a lot younger which fit with his character in that time period.

Favorite Monty season: Aesthetically? S1. The red jacket, not gonna lie. It’s an iconic lewk. Character wise? S4 probably. Chris kills it in S4 and he has to juggle a lot of really heavy storylines.

Favorite overall episode: Oof. I think “I Am Become Death” (1x10) for me. It’s a beautiful episode and it’s kind of got it all. Raven’s got a badass story arc (planting the bomb) and the scene where she crawls while blacking out, there’s Bellarke sick + hurt/comfort, Murphy returns. It’s just a good (underrated) ep.

Favorite scene of all time: Either Knocking on Heaven’s Door or the end of Matryoshka. Before S6, I would’ve said 2x16 in a heartbeat, because nothing’s ever rivaled the raw emotionality I saw Bob give in that scene, but then he matched himself in 6x10, so I can’t decide.

Biggest wish for s7: Pushing aside Bellarke from my brain, just in general an ending with emotional payoff. I want to feel like it’s the culmination of 7 seasons, not the culmination of Season 7, you know? I want all characters arcs resolved and not sloppily. I don’t mind if they kill off mains (*cough* Murphy?), but if they do, it better have a result that makes it make sense and be a resolution. And lastly, if they do end up with some sort of time travel, mumbo jumbo back to Earth, reset thing... it better make some goddamn sense and it better still resolve our character’s stories.

tagging @talistheintrovert @chase-the-windandtouch-the-sky @fen-ha-fuck-you @nvermindiseeyou @hostagetakerandhistraitor @tanclybowen

#tag game #the 100

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mobius-prime · 4 years ago

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216. Sonic the Hedgehog #148

Hey, nice cover art! For those who aren't familiar, it's drawn using the same style as the art from the little-appreciated Gameboy Advance game Sonic Battle. It's always interesting when the comics imitate the art style of one of the games for a little while as a kind of lowkey advertisement.

The Good, the Bad & the Unknown (Part Three): Genesis

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Steven Butler Colors: Jason Jensen

We open not in the underground facility where all the action is taking place, but in Knothole, as Dylan delivers a message to Sally about how the Freedom Fighters haven't been answering any communications for the past hour. Oh, hey, Dylan, long time no see! We haven't seen the members of the Substitute Freedom Fighters in a while, now that I think about it. Shame, I always liked them. Anyway, Sally is highly concerned upon hearing of the loss of contact, and orders Dylan to bring Sonic's father Jules to the court immediately. Back in the facility, Tommy rushes off to find a way to help Rotor, Bunnie, and Fiona while leaving Tails behind to man the monitor room. Tails finds Sonic on the monitors, who is currently lying winded on the ground where he fell after the floor dropped. He hears a loud rumbling, and hops up in time to dodge an incoming train car, since it turns out he landed on some tracks for an underground rail system. Shadow isn't far behind, approaching Sonic rapidly, but Sonic decides he's going to turn the tables and fight on his own terms, hopping onto one of the passing cars (which is really more like a high-tech mine cart than anything). Shadow stops, catching up to Metal Sonic and Isaac and wondering why Sonic would use the train car to travel if he can run faster than it at his highest speeds, and neither of the two robots have an explanation.

I think that's literally the first time anyone in the entirety of the comic so far has actually acknowledged out loud that Robotnik is just Kintobor backwards. I mean, it's kind of obvious if you look at the name for more than two seconds, but no one's ever actually said it. While this is going on, Tommy arrives at the corridor where the other three teammates are being electrocuted, and searches around frantically for a way to save them without getting caught in the electricity himself. After finding a random leather glove, he hits a circuit box, hoping it will help.

This is where things get a little jumbled. Tails finds Sonic on the monitors, as well as the two pursuing robots close behind him, and becomes fascinated by the conversation that Metal Sonic and Isaac get into. Their conversation continues in the background of the next several pages, so instead of trying to describe it interspersed with the rest of the action I'll just summarize it here. Isaac explains that he was created by one Dr. Ivan Kintobor, who was born in 2006 - yes, our 2006, only a few decades before the Xorda dropped the gene bombs on Earth. Ivan anticipated the Xorda's genocidal response to the capture and dissection of one of their own by the humans, so he designed Isaac to be able to function in a post-apocalyptic environment before sealing himself away in a stasis pod. Isaac bore firsthand witness to the results of the gene bombs, which, contrary to their intention to kill all humans without disturbing the planet's ecosystems, threw tons of volcanic ash and dust into the atmosphere, transforming the planet's surface forever. As mentioned before, this was the first "Day of Fury" recorded by the echidnas, and over the next thousand years, humans devolved into the Overlanders we know today (though how losing one finger and nothing else counts as "devolving" I have no clue), while their residual DNA mixed with that of various ordinary animals, who consequently had their own evolution accelerated into Mobiankind. When Ivan, from his pod, learned that societies were emerging from the newly-created Mobian species, he ordered Isaac to chronicle important historical events of the planet in addition to scientific data. Not long after the sun finally burned through the rest of the ash and dust in the air, the energy from the gene bombs, having finally absorbed deep into the planet's crust, reacted with beryl deposits to create… the Chaos Emeralds! Yes, interestingly enough, this is the backstory of the Chaos Emeralds in the comics. But wait, remember how Sonic encountered red Chaos Emeralds on another planet during Tossed in Space? All I can imagine from that is that Earth must not have been the first planet the Xorda used their gene bombs on - it makes sense, as the other species of the galaxy are clearly terrified of them for some reason - and thus, there are slightly different versions of Chaos Emeralds on other planets that the Xorda have targeted before.

Anyway, Isaac explains all this to Metal Sonic as Sonic continues to ride his train car to get away from Shadow and the two robots. He tries to contact Tails for help, but Tails is caught up in listening to the impromptu history lesson over the monitors, and thus Sonic is attacked from behind by Shadow. He manages to throw him off by abruptly stopping his car, and abandons the vehicle while Shadow is still stunned from the impact to run down another side corridor, shutting the door behind him. Rotor, also listening to the audio feed as he, Bunnie and Fiona race to meet up, asks Tails if he's recording this, but Tails doesn't have time to figure out if he can download a recording form the computers' systems, as Shadow is quickly approaching Sonic's hiding place.

The three finally meet up, and Shadow directs them to the door Sonic has taken refuge behind, trying to deadlift it open. Isaac says frankly that if Sonic has gone in that particular room, he's dead, but Shadow replies that Sonic tends not to die even in the face of otherwise-mortal danger, lifting the door and calling in that he just wants to talk. Wait, what? Shadow, this entire time you've been beating on Sonic for no good reason, and now you want to try to talk things out? Sonic is clearly as skeptical as I am, immediately darting out to hit Shadow in the face once his hiding place is discovered, but at that moment everyone is distracted by an ominous new sight - the room Sonic was hiding in is in fact a gigantic launch base for a missile, whose thrusters have just fired… Wait, now I'm even more confused! How the hell did Sonic hide in that room for a good minute without somehow noticing the huge flaming missile behind him?! Ah, whatever, this is Penders, we already know his stories don't make much sense.

Playing Around

Writer/Pencils: Nelson Ribeiro Colors: Jason Jensen

Time for some more silly stuff! Apparently, the Freedom Fighters (along with a few other of their allies) have decided to put on a play for some of the younger children of Knothole, about one of their missions against Eggman. Sally isn't in the play, leading Rosie to question who will be playing her if not, well, her, but Sally just giggles and tells her to wait and see as Sonic and Tails come out to welcome the kids to their play. Before Sonic can even get his final words out a spiked mitt emerges from behind the curtain to drag him backstage, and we see none other than Knuckles in an auburn wig and blue vest and boots, furiously reminding Sonic that the only reason he's doing this is for the kids, and otherwise he would be clobbering Sonic into the ground right now for even suggesting this crazy scheme. Oh, boy, this should be good…

So, who exactly is playing who in this production? It opens with Knuckles-Sally in "her" room in Knothole, when Geoffrey, played by Bunnie, arrives to warn of an impending attack on the castle. Knuckles-Sally, barely able to contain his disdain for this whole affair, uses Nicole, played by Archimedes, to call Uncle Chuck for help, but just then, Eggman, played by Big the Cat, and Snively, played by Tails, burst in and capture the two to roboticize them. Wait, if Tails is playing Snively, then who is playing Tails? Why, Rotor of course, being laboriously held aloft by ropes controlled by Jules, Mighty, and Espio from the rafters. He and Sonic (played by, well, Sonic - guess we know who got the most preferential treatment during casting) are relaxing in Knothole when Uncle Chuck, also played by himself but sporting various kitchenware all over his body to suggest a roboticized form, rushes in to warn them of Knuckles-Sally's capture. Rotor-Tails flies Sonic to Robotropolis, where the two prepare to attack Eggman, Snively, and a shadow-bot played by Vector. Also, we get some convenient sound effects, courtesy of Amy Rose!

With Knuckles-Sally rescued, Sonic embraces "her" and goes in for a kiss, and well, let's just say he's really in the spirit of the role, with Knuckles having to warn him away from actually kissing him through clenched teeth, that is unless he's ready to redeem that promise of a clobbering. Oh, come on Knuckles, we all remember how you said quite a few issues ago how you didn't want to have to deal with girls and would rather only hang around boys - accept your gay side, my dude! Smooch that 'hog!

Destiny's Child

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Tim Smith 3 Colors: Jason Jensen

Tim Smith… 3? I'm so confused by this name. Do they perhaps mean Tim Smith III, as in, he's the third person in his family named Tim Smith? Or is there just a hidden cloning facility in the back of the Archie Comics headquarters that occasionally churns out extra Tim Smiths to draw for random issues of their comics?

Tails is hanging out alone by a pond at the outskirts of Knothole Village one afternoon, and it turns out that though he's kept quiet about it, he's extremely frustrated at the knowledge that even though his parents are alive somewhere on the other side of the galaxy, no one seems to be rushing to actually go and rescue them. Suddenly, Athair's disembodied head appears floating in front of him, speaking cryptically about how the hour of the Chosen One draws near or whatever. Tails isn't impressed, and confronts him about the whole Chosen One thing, that by now multiple different people have talked to him about it and he was even kidnapped and held hostage for months by Mammoth Mogul over it, yet no one will actually tell him what this supposed prophecy even refers to. He asks if everyone knows about this but him, and honestly, I don't blame him one bit for being upset - not even us readers know what the hell the prophecy is all about, and we're normally given behind the scenes info like, all the time!

Oh, about time someone informs Tails that he has other family still left on the planet! Seriously, this kid has believed he was an orphan all his life, and yet Merlin never thought to, you know, contact him and reassure him he still had an uncle? Athair recounts the exact hostage situation with Mogul from before, how it occurred when Tails was in transit to help Knuckles back then, and Tails waves him off, saying that Sonic already told him everything that happened while he was captured. He demands an explanation, but Athair simply fades from view, leaving him frustrated and alone by the water once more. However, Athair's voice echoes back to him after a moment, urging him to be patient, as soon he'll finally know what all this is about… and about time, too, this has been going on since literally the first era of the comic with no resolution in sight.

#nala reads archie sonic preboot #archie sonic #archie sonic preboot #sonic the hedgehog #sth 148 #writer: ken penders #writer: nelson ribeiro #pencils: steven butler #pencils: nelson ribeiro #pencils: tim smith 3 #colors: jason jensen

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fanofafan2ff · 5 years ago

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52: Arrived

Madison

I adjusted the blinds in the room so the sun wouldn’t come in as much. It didn’t matter though. Chloe was only going to sleep for an hour before she woke up because she either realized no one was holding her or she was hungry.

Is it possible that a baby could already be spoiled at six weeks? Because Chloe Monét Brown was just that.

After Mijo and Mel’s wedding, it was like my pregnancy was moving in slow motion. The weeks were going by so slowly, I felt like I’d never hit 40 weeks. But when I did and sis still wasn’t here... I was completely over it! I was beyond uncomfortable, tired, sick, fed, and up- in that order.

Our doctor had given us a two week timeline and if she wasn’t out by then, I’d have to be induced. But, Little Miss Brown wasn’t having that. A day shy of being seven days overdue, my water broke in the middle of the night. I was surprisingly calm.. but all that flew out the window once my first contraction hit.

Thankfully, Chloe didn’t torture me for hours labor wise. I was already dialed to 4 by time we got to the hospital. It didn’t take me long to get to 10 before I was pushing. She was 5 pounds and 2 ounces, which surprised me because I thought she’d be a little bigger than that.

And as young as she was, she already had a personality of her own. She loved to be held and cuddled by everyone, especially Christian. He loved his sister and nobody could tell him anything about his Coco. That’s what he called her and he made sure nobody thought they could call her that too. He was already so over protective of her.

It was definitely and adjustment, having both him and Chloe. Having two kids was no joke. It was extremely difficult about three weeks ago when we got to take her home. He was having kind of a hard time realizing he wasn’t the only child anymore. He had a whole tantrum and even told Chris and I that we liked the baby more than him.

My poor pumpkin felt like we didn’t love him all because he wasn’t the center of attention anymore. In a way it was cute but also concerning. Dr. Lopez had informed me about stuff like this happening but to actually see it was crazy. So one night, after dinner, we made sure to sit down with him and just talk things through.

We let him know that even though Chloe was getting a lot of attention it didn’t mean we loved him any less. And once we incorporated him into her routines, he couldn’t get enough of her. He loved taking naps with her and whenever he’d wake up before her and she started fussing in her sleep, he’d rub her back just the way Chris and I taught him how to so she would doze right back off to sleep. He especially loved to give her his special big brother good night kisses.

Sometimes I swore this wasn’t my life.

It was around 10am, so Christian was in school today and wouldn’t be home until around 4:30. The house was clean and quiet and I was in heaven.. at lest for another hour. I made sure to readjust the baby monitor so I could see her clearly on my phone and pulled up the door before exiting and making my way to the bedroom.

Since giving birth six weeks ago, I’d already dropped 20 pounds which I was grateful for, since I’d gained damn near 50. I’d been eating better, trying to exercise, and breast feeding helped a lot too. All the extra weight on me just didn’t make me feel like myself and I hated it. This shit had to go.

I sheded my pajamas and pulled on some compression shorts and a T shirt. I slipped on the first pair of Nikes I saw and sauntered downstairs to the gym.I kept the baby monitor app up and watched Chloe’s chest fall and rise and she napped in the dimly lit room. I popped one of my Airpods in and started some music up while I started the treadmill up.

MoneyBagg Yo’s voice flowed through my ears as my fast walking turned into strides. Not before long I was in a groove and jogging at a nice pace. I wasn’t anywhere near where I wanted to be weight loss wise. I intended on losing the 50 pounds I’d gain during this pregnancy and well as an additional 20. All together, I needed 70 pounds gone.

Of course everyone around me though my weight loss goal was crazy, seeing as though I was only six weeks postpartum, but I needed this time in the gym for myself. I hadn’t been working as much while I was pregnant with there being so much going on so there was that. After giving birth, I was stuck in this routine of being a stay at home mom and I never saw this for myself so it was weird.

But breast feeding full time came with a lot, so I told myself I’d give it 6 months and then slowly ween Chloe off my boob. After that, I’d go back to working and getting my business back on track. My pockets weren’t hurting for cash at all, thank God. But, I never saw myself living doing the stay home mom thing for real.

And you know who was supportive the who every step on the way when I told them my plan.

Christopher Maurice Brown.

I’d told him my weight goal and before I could even get the reasons why out of my mouth he was already asking if I needed him to get me a trainer. He even vowed to get healthier with me. He wanted to know what he could do to help me out of the funk of the stay at home mom routine. He wanted to help me revive my business. He just.. was everything. I really loved that man to the moon and back.

It was having his support that made literally everything so easy.

Especially with the kids. Chris made sure to make his family a priority- even while having a million and one things to tackle. He was front row center for everything that had to do with Christian and Chloe. He was getting Christian to school and packing lunches, he was changing diapers and rocking her back to sleep when I was too tired to move.

I just really had to thank God for blessing me with this man, even with everything we had been through.

An hour later I had ran about 3 miles, did ab workouts and also worked on my glutes. I was feeling good. I made my way back upstairs and checked on Chloe. I was surprised she hadn’t woken up yet. I used to time to indulge in a super long shower. I even got to wash my hair. She’d not only help my gain a little more junk in the trunk but my hair had grown an extra five inches. I was so thankful. My hair needed a break from wigs and extensions.

After I got dressed and ran some product through my hair, I climbed back in the bed and got comfortable. As the weeks went by she was sleeping a bit more soundly and I was so thankful. I finally had a moment to myself and decided to indulge in social media.

I honestly hadn’t been on there in a while. Between being so busy and actually not caring about what people posted for real these days, I only found myself on here when I had a few minutes of down time.

Cute outfit.

New boutique.

Cute hair style.

“Oh, her nails are bomb.” I said out loud to myself. I continued to scroll through my feed making sure to like a few things. I could feel my eyes slowly getting heavier as I scrolled through my feed. I double checked that Chloe was okay and decided to take a nap. I made sure to set an alarm for 1pm, ensuring that I’d sleep for at least 45 minutes.

I wasn’t sure how long I’d been asleep when I felt wet lips on my face. “She sleep man.” Chris laughed. “But I missed her today.” Christian whispered. I guess he wasn’t trying to wake me up. He was the cutest, I swear.

“Hi pumpkin.” I giggled. He crawled back over and suffocated me with a mini bear hug. “I made Coco a picture today at school.” He boasted. “Oh, you did?” “Yeah, and daddy said I could show it to my grandmas cause they’re gonna come today.” He rambled. Today?

I look at over Chris who was shaking his head at Christian. “Yooo.. you can’t hold water.” He laughed. “Surprise.” Chris shrugged. “Aw, they’re coming?” I smiled tiredly. “Yeah they should be here tonight. I knew y’all was missing each other and they wanted to come see Christian and Chloe. So, I got em some flights and they’ll be staying here for a week or two. And you need the help when I leave.” He said.

He would be leaving for a promo run for his album next week. He’d only be gone for a week and a half, but that seemed like forever these days. We’d spent so much time together lately I honestly forgot what it was like to miss him. And I really didn’t want to remember.

“You’re the sweetest.” I said honestly. “Gimme kiss.” I puckered my lips for him. He leaned over and pecked me quickly. “Ew.” Christian gagged. He got himself off the bed and ran to his room which made Chris and I laugh. I swear he was so dramatic.

I grabbed my phone and checked the time to see I’d only been sleep for 30 minutes. I checked the baby monitor app and saw Chloe was still sleeping. “Why did you pick him up so early?” I asked. He still had a cool 3 hours left. “I missed my son.” He shrugged. He eased on the bed and laid himself right on top of me making me laugh.

“Whyyyyy?” I whined. “Cause I missed my wife too.” “Fiancé .” I corrected. He kissed his teeth. “Fiancé.” He mocked in a voice that was supposed to sound like mine that made me laugh. I placed both my hands on his face and gave him another kiss. “Did you check on Chloe when you got in?” I asked. “Yeah, was still knocked out. That titty milk be having my babygirl gone.” He laughed before rolling off of me.

He placed his arms behind his head and got comfortable. He done a white T shirt, grey Nike shorts, and some socks. His was growing out his facial hair and slowly but surely, his beard was connecting. The scruffy look worked for him. But then again, what doesn’t? He looked so comfortable.. yet so fine.

“Madison.” I heard before snapping back into reality. “Huh?” “Where yo ring at?” He asked. I looked down at my left hand immediately. Shit, where did I put it this time? “I think I took it off in the bathroom last night.” “You think?” He chuckled darkly. “Aight.” He nodded before rolling out the bed and heading to the closet.

My ring was just a little too big for my finger, so it was always sliding off my finger whenever I wore it. Chris and I meant to get it resized but, it’s just been too many things going on. I kept telling myself I needed to do it as soon as possible because I was truly sick of us having this petty argument.

I got up and made my way to the bathroom. I opened the small jewelry box on my vanity and pulled my ring out before slipping it on my finger. I sauntered into the closet and watched as he pulled one of his million duffle bags from the shelf. He had been putting off packing for his trip for days but he was just ready to do it now.. all of a sudden. He was so aggravating I swear.

But, honestly, I was in no mood to argue today. I walked up behind him as he sorted through his Nike collection, trying to pick out some shoes. I pouted as I wrapped my arms around him. “Don’t be mad at me.” I whined. “I’m sorry. See, I put it back on.” I extended my hand so he could see.

“Cool.” He uttered, not even bothering to take a look at the ring. I walked around and stood in front of him. I put his face in my hands for the second time today. “Christopher. Stop being petty.” I rubbed over his ears to relax him a bit. “I keep telling you, it’s too big. I don’t want it to fall off and I don’t want to lose it so I take it off. You think I’m trying to look single out here or something?” I asked.

"I have two kids, nobody’s gonna want me.” I shrugged. The joke made him kiss his teeth. “Stop being mad at meeee.” I continued to whine. “I’m not mad.” He ensured. I let his face go and he continued to sort through his shoes. “I just want you to wear it, alright? I love seeing you have it on your finger.” He explained. “We getting it resized before I leave. Cool?” He asked. I nodded and puckered my lips for a kiss.

He bent down and got dangerously close to my lips before pulling back, “Ha, you thought!” I hated when he did that shit. “You’re not gonna kiss me?” I pouted. “I’m good love.” The side eye I was giving him was vicious. He thought that shit was so funny. I nodded and backed away from him.

“Keep that same energy, Brown. Keep that same energy. Cause when I get clearance from my doctor next week, you’re gonna be sick. You’re going to live in the doghouse. Better get real acquainted with that left hand, play boy.” I stuck my middle finger at him and made myself comfortable on top of the island which was a few steps away from him.

He looked back at me with a playful smile.

“Cap.” He muttered. I lifted my eyebrow, daring him to continue. “I know your body like the back of my hand. You just went six weeks without this dick. And if you put me in the doghouse.. you gon be sick.” He chuckled. “Why does this sound like a bet?” I grinned.

“What you tryna put on it, baby mama?” He asked as he walked over. He knew what he was doing. His hands immediately came in contact with my thighs. He ran small circles over them while staring in my eyes. Ugh, I couldn’t stand him.

“Let’s put a week of dirty diapers on it.” I said pushing his hands of me. He found it funny but nodded anyway. “Seal it with a kiss?” He asked puckering his lips up. I learned forward and just before we could kiss, I backed up and placed my hand in his face. “You thought!”

---

“What she said sis? That pussy is clear for take off!” Kaya clapped. “Pchttt!” Ashley cosigned making the worst airplane sound I’d ever heard in my life. I laughed obnoxiously loud as we sat in the back of the Mexican restaurant.

I had just left my 6 week check up and I was all good to have sex again. My health was in good shape as well, and I’d lost an additional five pounds. I was feeling good. I had been locked in the house for weeks and I needed to get away and just breathe. So, Mel decided we could all have lunch together.

Both my babies were at home with both their grandmas. The love and support I’d been smothered this week was so needed. Chris left a few days ago and I was really missing him. Christian would get so sad when he wasn’t here to bring him to school everyday, but Chris promised they’d pick right back up where they left off.

Both Mama J and Tasha were loving being here with them, but honestly, I think I loved it more. They wouldn’t let me do anything but breastfeed her Chloe. After I’d feed her they’d whisk her away from grandma time which gave me time to catch up on some sleep. My skin and body were so thankful for it. My dad was a bit too busy to take off work but he’d let me know he’d be out to visit soon. I felt like it had been so long since I seen him.

“It’s just a shame that yo husband ain’t here to be the pilot.” Mel nudged me. I hadn’t told them about the bet and I wasn’t going to. They would root for Chris anyway. I only giggled i response to her words. “I do miss him.” I admitted. It had only been a week and I was ready for it to be over.

“So when are you gonna start planning the wedding?” Mel asked. I shrugged. “Any theme in mind?” Another shrug. “Who’s the maid of honor?” Kaya asked. Another shrug. I literally had no idea. And honestly, the wedding wasn’t on my priority list right now.

Our waiter came over to the table and somehow Kaya convinced me to get a margarita. I was only having one to celebrate my health and I knew I had to pump and dump my breast milk for the next few hours. I was so glad I’d decided to pump before I decent amount before I had left this morning.

After a few sips, I was already tipsy. I had never been a light weight, but being away from alcohol for so long had me feeling like I was a college freshman again. It wasn’t before long that I was officially drunk. Shit, it was barely 1pm and I was gone.

The girls immersed themselves in girl talk as I quickly sent a message on my phone.

I miss you.

And your dick 😢

I was trying my hardest to not lose this bet Chris and I had going... but fuck.

We had sex up until I was about 8 months but after that I literally just couldn’t bother. I was so uncomfortable those last couple weeks I didn’t want to be touched. But, in this moment Chris was making me eat my words.

I was sick.

I stared into space quietly and I could see myself laid out in the middle of our king sized bed with my legs spread open while Chris sucked on me like his life depended on it. I blinked, and I could see him pushing my thighs back into the mattress and he pounded into me and whispered how good I felt in my ear. I had to take a breath because it’s was as if I could feel every bit of it.

“Hello?” Ashley snapped. “Did you hear me?” She asked. “Sorry, what?” “I said, I’m single. I’ve decided to devote this year to myself and career.” She shrugged. “So, no more fucking Austin?” I asked. “Nope.” She made sure to pop the third letter.

“Well, I’m gonna try not to.” She laughed. “Fuck, I just be having them stupid ass moments of weakness when I’m drunk. And Austin never tells me no. That’s he problem!” She reasoned. “Why toxic dick be so goooood?” She whined. “Preach, sister.” Kaya clapped.

“I’m just gonna keep the focus on myself. Stay celibate- to the best of my ability. Build my brand and kill shit. Period.” She signaled with her hand. “Well, you got our support babes. Always, you know that.” Mel chimed in. “Plus, you know we gon call you the fuck out if you start fucking him again and don’t tell us. Yeah, bitch I’m still salty.” Kaya rolled her eyes.

Once all the hoopla around Mel’s wedding went away, Ashley spilled her guts on her and Austin messing around again. Turns out they had been having sex wayyyy longer than anyone knew about. She thought he was trying to rekindle the relationship, but turns out he just really wanted to keep having sex. He was stringing her along and once she picked up on it she was out. She would slip up a few times though.

Ashley rolled her eyes right back. “Well, like I said, toxic dick be good.” She said making us laugh. “I think I wanna move to Atlanta with Ant.” Kaya blurted out. My eyes bulged. That was a big ass step. Especially since Kaya was so strategic with her love life now. Ty really fucked her head up. It took a while for Ant to get through to her, so to hear that she was thinking about moving to another city for him was big.

“Yeah, I know.” She let out a nervous laugh before shrugging. “Wow, that’s big Kaya.” Mel weighed in. “Crazy thing about it is... I’m not even afraid to do. I think... I’m gonna do it.” She sighed. “Am I crazy?” She asked.

“No!” We agreed in unison. “You love him, and if you think y’all are ready for that step, we’re behind you 100 percent of the way.” I stated. I’m sure Ashley and Mel felt the same way and my sentiments were correct when they chimed in with the nods and words of approval. She looked like she let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

“Wait.. that means we’re not gonna be a foursome anymore.” Ashely stated. “Bitch, we gon always be a foursome! The fuck. I wish y’all would have a bitch try to take my spot.” Kaya ranted. I swear we could never have a moment.

We continued girl talk and I had decided to have one more margarita and take another shot or two. I was officially down for the count. Mel wasn’t drinking really and opted to drive me home. On the way home, I couldn’t shake the feeling between my legs. I really missed my man.

He still hadn’t texted me back so I decided to call him. No answer. I sighed and slipped my phone back into my Birkin. I was over it. We pulled up to the house maybe about five minutes later and I let Mel know she didn’t have to come inside. I walked up the driveway and slipped inside the house quickly.

I immediately noticed how quiet it was so that could only mean no one was home or they were all asleep. I waltzed in the kitchen fumbling with my bag as I tried to pull my phone out. My eye cause the pink reminder slip hitched under the magnet in the kitchen.

Took the kids to the zoo. We should be home around 4. Love you!

- Mama and Tasha

They were so cute. I found it funny that they never opted to just text me, they always left notes. I sighed at the quietness throughout the house and grabbed a bottle of water out the fridge. I downed the water quickly before shuffling up the steps and into the bed.

I needed nap.

I stripped myself of my jeans and bra and snuggled into the bed with just my shirt and panties on. The buzz I had was going to make for a excellent nap. I yawned and hummed for a few minutes before I felt myself drifting off.

I stirred when I felt cold hands on my skin. They ran from the top of my thighs down to my knees and then back to my thighs again. A pair of lips connected to my neck next and I thought I was dreaming when I saw Chris staring back at me.

“So what you missed more? Me or this dick?” He asked before planting his lips on mine. “Definitely the dick.” I giggled. I wasn’t even about to ask how he was here right now. All that mattered is that he was. I pulled him down for another kiss. “I missed you... so much.” I mumbled in between kisses.

“I.. missed you...more.” He replied. His tongue instinctively found its way into my mouth and I let him take control. He used his knees to spread my thighs so he could lay in between them. He pressed himself against me and I could just feel how hard he was. I was still a little buzzed which made all of this feel even better.

He helped me out my clothes quickly before pulling off the shirt and Nike shorts he was wearing. With barely any foreplay, I was soaked and ready. He began running the head over my clit which sent shivers through me. He literally watched as I got wetter for him. I was sick of him playing with me.

As if he knew how antsy I was getting he stopped the teasing and began pushing my thighs back so they were touching the mattress. It always amazed me how flexible I could be once it involved taking dick. He used one of his hands to guide himself to my entrance. He began teasing me again, and just before I could protest, he slowly slid inside me.

I gasped and instinctively sent my hand to his lower torso. He pulled out some before sending a few more inches inside of me as I cried out. “Shitttt.” I sighed. He moved slowly as my body got reacquainted to his size. Once he sensed that I fully adjusted he picked up his speed.

I could hear how wet I was over our skin slapping together. The beautiful harmonies our bodies created made me even wetter. His hand found its way around my neck and my eyes rolled at the pleasure the lack of oxygen sent me. I shut my eyes for a second before I moaned and forced them open to look him in the eyes.

He was concentrated on watching collide. “Fuck.” I heard him groan before looking away and finally into my eyes. “You lost.” He grinned.

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chyrstis · 5 years ago

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I won’t ask for much (but just this once, I’d like you) 4/10

I spent way too long looking at warplanes for this one, because 1) they’re pretty, and 2) after mentioning a certain someone’s plane in the previous chapter, there was no way I wasn’t going to have it pop up again.

Pairing: Sharky Boshaw x John Seed Rating: E (but only for Ch. 10, the rest are a solid T) Word Count: 3.5K

Link to AO3!

Ch. 1 / Ch. 2 / Ch. 3 / Ch. 4 / Ch. 5 / Ch. 6 / Ch. 7 / Ch. 8 / Ch. 9 / Ch. 10

—

Sharky steals a boat. It just happens to be John’s boat, and when it’s damaged along with his boathouse, John proceeds to lay out a means of having Sharky pay him back. [No Cult AU]

———–

“So, where is it? Where’s all of the shit-talking I used to look forward to? Like, by now I was getting ready for the good stuff, but it’s running out.”

Sharky paused, dropping the tire back down into the back of Hurk’s truck. “About what?”

“Really?” Hurk asked, gaping at him. “You know, the asshat that’s been blackmailing you into doing his dirty work for the last month and a half? Thinking he’s slicker than a greased pig, and he might be because who the hell knows what he uses to keep his hair like that. And palms. You grease those too, not just for jerking, and cuz, you’re killing me here.”

“It’s…I’m not gonna lie, he’s really wigging me out at times. Acting like it’s good to have me around to help and shit. ‘Cause I don’t always work on the boathouse. I’ve helped Joe, I’ve helped move stuff around on the airstrip, I’ve run stuff down to the Peggies’ church. And yeah, being told ‘you’re going to do this today’ instead of doing what I was planning on doing sucks, but the Peggies are kinda nice.”

He wasn’t thinking much of it when Hurk grabbed the firehose running out front. Jerry-rigged outside, it was usually his last-ditch effort when any of the fires outgrew their boundaries.

So, it was easy enough to grab. Easy enough to aim, and - in Hurk’s case - easy enough to point and shoot, especially while he kept his mouth running, none the wiser.

“And John’s all right, too. I know it’s kind of-whoa, whoa, what the-“ A wave of freezing cold water hit his chest, and Sharky sputtered as he threw his hands up. “What the fuck, man? Jesus, just cool it! Cool it!”

Hurk aimed it up and away, and jabbed a finger at him.

“Straight talk. You point me to the spot in the woods where my fave cuz’s tied up and waiting to be beamed up, and I swear I’ll let you go. ‘Til then, you better talk faster, because I don’t even know where to go with ‘Oh, John and the Peggies? Yeah, they’re all right.’”

Teeth chattering, Sharky shrugged. “I don’t know what to tell you, man. It’s better. Like he’s decided it’s okay to be a person for once.”

This time he was hit in the face, and he threw both middle fingers Hurk’s way before finally wrangling the hose away from him.

“That’s up my nose now,” he grumbled, feeling it burn as he forced air through it. “Up my nose, which is one of the top ten worst feelings to deal with. Hope you’re proud of yourself.”

The spray at Hurk mid-apology was kind of a jerk move on his end, but Hurk had earned it. That and the noogie, as Sharky wrangled him under his arm. If he was going to be forced to drip-dry out here, he wasn’t dealing with that shit alone.

The roar of an engine overhead made him loosen his grip, however. Both of them glanced up, their attention won by the plane soaring by.

Usually Sharky would catch one every once in a blue moon out over here. With the steep hills, it wasn’t always best if you needed to land the plane in an emergency, but that didn’t stop anyone from taking them as high as the pilot wanted it.

This one wasn’t too high in the sky, though. Painted a darker color, it cut a fine line through the air above as it climbed. Spinning in a smooth arc, it curved - rounding back - and Hurk let out a low whistle.

“Look at that, huh? Bet Nick gets up to all kinds of fancy shit up there when he’s off the ground.”

“Yeah. Should ask him if he’d take us up sometime.”

Watching the plane loop back, the pull was almost strong enough to make him want to book it to Nick’s right now. He’d always been curious about the high that came with being in the air; how that ramped up during a dive, or even on a sharp turn.

Something about this plane bugged him, though. Like there was something he was missing that should’ve hit, but wasn’t.

“Uh, I don’t know. I’ve been up in a bunch of choppers, man, and it’s real sketchy once the cross-winds hit. Gets my lunch doing a loop-de-loop hairier than any airshow’s special, and that feeling even hits when I’m in Tulip.”

“Why? Your ma’s damn good at what she does.”

“It’s always squirrely, feeling the entire thing rock back and forth, back and...” Hurk paused, and slapped at Sharky’s waving arm. “What’re you doing? He can’t see us from down here.”

“And why not? Yeah, he’s – or she, could be one badass babe up there - not skimming the ground, but they’re low enough to see what’s down here if they angle it right.”

Almost as if listening, the plane came back over; the roar of the engine echoing in the air as it came closer. Getting a better look at it now, he could see more of the slick paint job; the dark grey really reminding him of a color he’d seen recently.

As in, within-the-last-couple-of-weeks-or-so recent. Like in a hangar, half-hidden under a tarp.

Finally slapping those last missing puzzle pieces into place, it all clicked this time, and Sharky’s eyes widened.

“Uh, I think that’s John.”

“Say what?”

Hurk’s surprise wasn’t too far off from his own. “Dude, that’s his plane. I don’t think anyone else around here’s got a ride like that.”

Or even in that style, period. It stood out in the sky, and Sharky almost laughed to himself. He would want that attention, and showing off while he was at it? Seemed like a standard thing he’d try for, if given the shot - and right now? He looked set on taking it.

Diving down, his breath caught as the plane soared in a set line towards the ground. Daring to get as close as possible - cutting it a lot closer than he would’ve if given the chance - only to shoot back up above the trees, spinning on the exit.

Yeah, that was John.

Whistling loudly, Sharky whooped before punching Hurk in the shoulder. “Oh, come on. That was pretty fucking neat.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Hurk cracked soon after, smiling. “Okay, it was pretty rad, but if that is him, and we ever run into each other and get to talking about it, we ain’t saying shit. Not a single word set on complimenting, talking nice, or doing any of that. Period.”

The plane didn’t come back this time, heading out over the fields as it faded from view.

“Nope,” Sharky said absently, as he kept his eyes skyward. “Not a single fucking word.”

---

Later that day when he messaged John to tell him he was heading in, he didn’t get his usual answer.

Busy in the hangar. Stop by there, will you?

The doors were open as he pulled up outside, and he couldn’t see John when he stepped out. His plane was front and center, one of the side panels open with a tool cart rolled up next to it, and he walked up to get a closer look.

“Tempting as it is, try not to stick your hand in there.”

Sharky held both up, and quickly stepped back. “I didn’t do it.”

“I didn’t say you did anything.” John walked up from behind, wiping his hands down with a towel, smirking all the while. “Just wouldn’t want to lose a finger now. That would be a surefire way to ruin an evening.”

Against all odds, he hadn’t lost one yet. Not to any of his homemade whizzlers, not to any of the cherry bombs, and not to that one incident with the paper cutter in school. Now, really would be a lame time to do it, and in front of John? He’d never live it down.

Flexing his fingers - all ten of them - he shoved both hands into his pockets, and turned towards him.

Dressed in his version of casual, the shirt John was wearing was still too pricey to be anywhere near oil or heavy machinery, but that didn’t faze him. His hands were dirty and he was doing the work. Actually getting in there and taking care of it, instead of shoving it onto someone else, and Sharky could respect that.

But the moves he pulled in the air earlier? Thinking back on them made a whistle want to slip out. John could fly. There was no fucking doubt about it, and he’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t want to catch him up in the air again at some point.

“So, uh…you take her out today?”

“I might’ve had to check to see how things were running,” John said with a shrug.

“You fly out over towards the Henbane?”

John raised his head, eyeing him curiously. “Maybe. Why do you ask?”

“See, I was out with my cousin Hurk. Just unloading some tires to use for um, crafting purposes.”

“Crafting. I never took you for the type.”

“Not like the kind with paper, glue, and scissors. Like tire sculptures, or just taking the shit apart to see what we can get out of it, ‘cause there’s at least twenty things you can do with a worn-out tire. We’ve honed it down to an art, man.”

John said nothing further, only examined his hands as he wiped off more of the dirt. He looked up to catch Sharky’s eye while he worked, reminding him that he’d been telling a story before he’d trailed off.

Sharky cleared his throat. Loudly. “Uh, anyway. You, flying.”

John redirected his attention to his hands, but Sharky didn’t miss the way his lips had curved up. “I thought it was you, working?”

“Me, working, distracted by you, flying, and I know I got twisted around in the middle of that, but I saw you earlier. Your plane flying over my house. Now you’re the only guy around here with anything coming close to having one of those warplanes they’d call you in to borrow for re-enactments, movie deals - or, hell - for admiring and shit, so don’t go denying it. And don’t go fucking with me either, ‘cause I know what I saw.”

“Good eye. Sharper than I expected.” John set the towel down on the cart, and walked over to the plane. “Perhaps you can put that eye for detail to good use tonight.”

“What?”

“Affirmation does need some tuning. I was hoping to have it finished before you came by, but…” John frowned, eyeing the engine with distaste. “As you can see here, I’m not quite done yet.”

“Ah, I get that. Shit never works out how you plan it, not with cars, bikes, and I guess planes fit in there too. You wanna get that oil changed before the sun’s up? Should take twenty to thirty minutes max, giving you time to see if the tires are bald enough to turn the road into a dirt-covered slip and slide. Probably would've noticed before then, but it's good to check. And if you’re looking at that, might as well try the brakes.”

He watched John roll over the tool cart, giving him a glance over his shoulder as he did so. Taking the gesture as a signal to keep on going, Sharky took a place just behind him by the cart, and settled in to watch him work.

“…And that weird leak you forgot about two weeks ago? Kiss your afternoon goodbye, ‘cause your radiator’s busted and might’ve been roasting your car from the inside out.”

“Sounds like someone’s speaking from experience.”

“Man, you don’t even know how many times I’ve had my shitbox crater on me. And I take care of it. Maybe not using the stuff that’ll keep the mechanic off of my back if I need to bring it in, but it runs. And I can keep it going on nothing but lint, duct tape, and quarters if I have to.”

“And somehow, in spite of that, it hasn’t exploded or found a way to catch on fire?”

“It did catch on fire. Once.”

John’s eyebrows flew up. “With you in it?”

“Sort of. I might’ve hopped out right after the smoke started coming, ‘cause that crisped-up burnt smell ain’t normal even with a busted heater, but I handled it. Drove it right on down to the Spread Eagle just in time for Happy Hour, too.”

Blinking at him, John slowly turned back to the engine. “Is that the same car you’ve been bringing here?”

“Yep.”

John paused again. “The one that I’ve ridden in?”

“Same one. Drove it, too.”

A few emotions crossed John’s face then. Disbelief held on the longest, as he turned to look right at Sharky.

“What? Like I said, it runs. Long as it does that, I don’t need anything fancier than that to get around. And, hey, if that shit ever does go up and someone needs to handle it, you know I’m damn near certified by this point.”

“Knowing that the county’s resident pyromaniac should be able to put out the fire he also started is not as reassuring as it sounds.”

Sharky frowned. “Yo, you really wanna say that? Seeing as you’re someone that keeps talking shit, all while needing people to call you, confide in you, and hire you for the whole defending-them-in-court thing? Not doing great on the being-anything-but-a-dick part. Just saying.”

John narrowed his eyes, but didn’t fight the point. Just went back to work, and Sharky wasn’t sure what to do with the victory.

Shaking it off, he crossed his arms and tried not to fidget as he watched him. Doing nothing at all was the real challenge, having no choice but to be patient and keep an eye on John instead.

But he hadn’t kicked him out, or told him to go where he was needed most. He was sure he would’ve told him to head down to the boathouse by now - or hell, that he would’ve gone on his own - but he didn’t feel like leaving yet. Not even after the dig. Curiosity won this fight, and he’d let it do its thing for a little while longer.

Glancing over at him, John gave it a second and gestured towards the cart. “Can you hand me that wrench?”

Sharky followed his line of sight towards it. Taking it, he handed it over and couldn’t hold his tongue any more.

“So, you do all of this on your own?”

“It’s important to be able to identify problems as they appear. I could hire someone to do that for me. Easily leave this to them, but having that knowledge beforehand - especially if I do end up having to land - is crucial. And I refuse to let willful ignorance prevent me from fixing anything well within my power and ability. That, and laziness.”

“Laziness?”

“What’s my problem becomes someone else’s to fix. To mend. Affirmation is my responsibility. Shouldn’t I be well aware of how it’s operating before I take off? That kind of carelessness can be prevented.”

“Makes sense.”

“I hope so. Any pilot would do the same if they had any degree of pride in their skills.”

Sharky rubbed at his neck. “Yeah, guess Nick goes through the same checks too. And if I had one, guess I’d have to break out the old toolbox and get into it.”

“Treated better than your car, I would hope?”

“Uh, still fucking rude for one, and two, hell yeah I would. Shit, the closest I’ve come to flying, period, was through honoring Clutch Nixon a few years back – rest his badass, no-longer-beating heart – and I was airborne long enough to love it. If I had a plane, I’d treat her right.”

Sitting up, John gave him a long look. “That doesn’t count.”

“What don’t count?”

“Stunt driving isn’t close to the same thing.”

“So you say, but you haven’t taken a motherfucking dive off of a cliff, amigo.”

“It’s not-” John pressed his fingers to his temples and sighed. “There are measures taken.”

“Yeah, and I know you gotta do more than mess around with your joystick up there, but the fall’s real. The pounding in your heart as it just-” He clenched his fist, and let out a breath, “Fuck, man, you feel alive coming back from that. And get one hell of a massive boner while you’re at it.”

Lowering his hand, John leveled a flat stare at him.

“Yeah, had to give that last one a solid seven point five out of ten. Hell, maybe an eight.”

Still clenching his fist, Sharky held the eye contact, grinning awkwardly all the while. At least until he noticed the marks on John’s face. Three small dark spots, all of which came from his equally stained fingers.

The snicker slipped out before he could help it. “You, uh, got a little something on you.”

Gesturing towards his face, John reached up and nearly added another before glancing down at his fingers. “Shit.”

“Yeah, dude. Might be able to connect the dots at the rate you’re going.”

“Let me just…where did that get to?”

He sorted through the items on the cart before finding the discarded towel, and checked it before swiping at his face.

“Might wanna go to the left.” John shifted it, the spot turning into a streak, and Sharky grimaced. “Uh, maybe to the right?” Streaked again. “Huh. Think you might wanna go back to what you were doing the first time.”

“You aren’t helping,” John said, slapping down the towel to search through the items on the cart. “So, how about you go occupy yourself over there, and we’ll get back to this when I’m certain I’m not covered in dirt.”

John had pointed towards the refrigerator, and Sharky gave him a passing glance before skipping over towards it.

“Could be worse, man. Not like it’s a sharpied dick, or anything.”

Prying the doors open, Sharky didn’t know what he was looking for at first. He knew John had hidden the mystery beer here last time, but that wasn’t what he spotted. No, on the shelves was a pack of his old faithful, and he felt a tear come to his eye.

“Is that acceptable?”

Sharky reached in and held up the six pack, sighing dreamily as he hugged it to his face. “Amigo, I think you’re my new best friend now.”

He heard John scoff somewhere behind him, and turned to see him parked in front of a small handheld mirror. One of the streaks was a bonafide line traveling up the side of his face now, and smeared more when John swiped a finger through it. Tossing the mirror back onto the cart, he clenched his jaw, and went right back to the plane without even waiting for him to come back.

“So, John,” Sharky started, popping the cap off of the beer, “you want me to stick with you up here, dude? ‘Cause I was going to head on down to the river at some point. Just looked like you needed me more up here than there at the time, and…”

“There’s no need.” John replied, his back still to him. “You’ve been making significant progress lately down at the boathouse. Anything else would put you ahead. And after staying up here as long as you have, you’ve earned the time to yourself, if you want it.”

Free to go? Again?

That had him scratching his head as he polished off the beer fast. “Uh, okay. Like, I can do whatever the hell I want?”

“Whatever you want.”

That was music to his ears. At least it would’ve been every other week leading up to this one.

Thinking it over for a while, Sharky tried to think of anything he would’ve done with the time. Anything pressing he’d set aside to come out here after helping Hurk earlier, but couldn’t put his finger on a single thing. Just a whole lot of nothing that would’ve led to a night spent in his underwear on the couch mixing together shit he probably shouldn’t have, or up at the trailer park tuning the speakers.

So, when he looked back over towards the plane, he aimed the bottle in his hand towards it. “You still need someone up here?”

There was the sound of metal hitting metal as John froze. But when he turned to face him, there was no mistaking his surprise.

"What?" Sharky shrugged. “I’ve got the rest of the day to myself, and usually that’s spent doing jack and shit when work’s not coming in, so…if you need it, I’m here. Not that it’s really that big of a deal anyway, you know?”

That got him a smile. One that John held onto long after Sharky expected him to drop it, and he chuckled. “I suppose not.”

“This’ll be the highlight of my day, and I’d like to stick around. Unless you want me out.”

He thought it over, but not for longer than a minute. “If I did, I would’ve told you so.”

“So, back to work?” Sharky asked, starting to smile himself.

John stepped back and held out a hand towards the plane. “Back to work.”

#far cry 5 #sharky boshaw #john seed #hurk drubman jr #john seed/sharky boshaw #I've been stuck thinking about other things they could possibly fix in other ficlets #with Sharky suggesting an idea that he knows is bad only to see if John'll take him seriously or not #b/c if he gets him to believe even one of them for a second it'll be worth it #FC5 fanfiction #fanfiction #fic: I won't ask for much #fic series: we could make a home out of this

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kinitstuffblr · 6 years ago

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WHO WANTS TO ANALYZE CRAZY DREAMS?!!

Aight bros this dream I had last night was INSANE basically because it made a lot of sense in a lot of different weird ways and I personally love hearing people’s dreams and helping interpret them SO I hope all FOURTEEN of you maybe-real-people will consider sharing YOUR dreams with me via asks/messages/comments/whatever (if you want other people to weigh in then go for it in the comments otherwise I don’t mind if it’s just one-on-one I really just want to discuss dreams). To get the ball rolling I’ll describe my dream and my analysis of it (But feel free to just skip reading that part and go straight to yours if you want! I’m half typing this out just to keep a record for myself)

SO my dreams lately have involved being lost, usually in cities, where I’m vaguely aware of where I should be and am trying to find my way toward that. AND lately my dreams have distinct beginnings and ends and relative themes throughout, which is not how they used to be. I’m going to break this one down into separate numbered sections to kind of establish the timeline and to highlight the key parts.

Part 1: I was in an empty mall; mostly empty, with the stores all dark, but not closed. Think small town, mid-day, but technically open so one or two stores are still available for shopping. I was just sort of wandering through with no real goal, like a lazy tourist, and I knew I was in my local Big City.

Usually I go to this Big City and sort of do a lazy tourist thing a lot when I’m getting ready to attend a con, which I am currently irl preparing for, so it made sense to me that I was in the area wandering around.

Part 2: I saw a theatre attached to the mall, where there was basically just a big entrance that opens up and there it is - but it was a stage theatre, not a movie theater. I could see the stage and all the seating just past the ticket counter. Next thing I know, I see several drag queens in powdered wigs and costumes filing out of a nearby door, which I guessed led to a green room. At the end of the line was a close friend of mine, the only anatomical female of the group, dressed as Marie Antoinette, and she was surprised to see me and invited me to come watch the show (which, of course, I eagerly agreed to).

First of all, she would SO take that role and she would SO be part of a drag show if the opportunity presented itself, so all that made lots of sense to me. I also adore this friend, and don’t hear from her much, so I’ll take every opportunity to be around her if invited. The problem is this doesn’t happen often, and I get stuck feeling like me reaching out to hang out with her will come off as needy, but also that maybe she would prefer I reach out more and is disappointed that I haven’t. Also, I think the last time we hung out for real was the time I’d elected to let her know about a year-long unrequited crush I’d had on her, so in the interest of never making her feel awkward again, I feel like I can never be the one to initiate a hangout, even though we’d had an open conversation that went very well considering the circumstances. Oh - at this point I was also aware that I didn’t have my hair styled, makeup on, or an especially good outfit - I looked frumpy, which I felt she noticed. (She’s gorgeous, not in a fake way, legitimately she always looks great but she also does fucking bomb makeup whereas I feel like I’ve never fully learned it/understood it.)

Part 3: At the drag show, I realize it’s a dress rehearsal. No biggie. I head to the bathroom, where a lot of the queens are now actually getting ready, some in the bathroom and some out in the hall. I’m nonbinary, but I only recently learned what that even is and started embracing it; in the moment, I can’t decide if I should go into the female bathroom or the male bathroom. I really don’t want to be in their way while they’re getting ready and though my instinct is to go into the bathroom opposite my assigned sex in an act to embrace my newer self, I immediately think of how non-nonbinary (not-androgynous) I look, and shamefully head into my assigned sex’s bathroom.

This is no mystery, I still constantly feel like even a group for ‘people who don’t fit into the other groups’ is still too exclusive for me to fit into it; Like I’m posing, and I should just be quiet and stick to my assigned sex, and nonbinary isn’t what I am because I’m not nonbinary enough?? It’s hard to explain but I feel like you get it even if I can’t put it into words well. I felt like an asshole trying to go into the opposite sex’s bathroom, but I felt like a coward ducking my head and going into ‘my’ bathroom.

Part 4: In the bathroom, it didn’t matter what I’d chosen because the drag queens were getting ready in both (which I should have seen coming?) While in there I was of course half afraid I’d be seen through various gaps in the walls and did notice someone getting high out of a CVS bag in a stall.

This is basic bathroom-related anxiety I face in dreams a lot, although the drug thing is new and I think related to how often junkies are getting high on the steps literally outside my front door every night when I’m trying to go to bed. In the moment I felt like I should let someone know but I didn’t because I’m not street smart and somehow that implies that street smart people don’t need me getting into their business?? Idk

Part 5: I found a former theatre club classmate to sit with to watch the rehearsal. I don’t remember the show at all but I remember that I was supposedly there for the whole thing and didn’t get to see or talk to my friend at all, so I ended up wandering out without saying goodbye.

Typical again - At social events with this friend, I feel like the norm has been that I don’t actually get to spend much time with her and that it’s not really noticed if I leave

Part 6: My cat was with me?? My cat, an FIV positive soft boi who I love with everything in me, was for some reason with me on this trip and I’ve just realized I’ve lost him in this mall. He doesn’t wear a collar and is easily spooked. Somehow I see him in an open area and swoop him up into my arms and tight against my chest; now I just have to not let him wrestle free while I find my way back to the car.

Again SO normal, but in a new, FUN terrible way! Combining my fear of losing my sick cat outside and not being able to find my car in a big city during an important situation. Both are repeat anxiety nightmares, but I’ve never had it structured like this before.

Part 7: I don’t remember where the car is or how far; I only have a vague idea; I also know there’s no way when I get there I’ll be able to open the door without losing him but right now I’m just focused on finding the car. Suddenly there’s a few people here and there in the mall and I’m really worried that someone will approach me to touch my cat or to offer help and only end up spooking him. A kid walks up to me and he has a gameboy open in his hands; I know he just wants to touch my cat but I explain I need to get him to my car and he offers to help, which mostly is just him following me while half-playing his pokemon game and half looking at my cat.

The boy is the same age/slightly younger than my youngest brother and looks exactly like him and acts exactly like him, he just isn’t him somehow - and he’s legitimately sort-of-trying-to-help in his own kid way. I appreciate the moral support. But I’m confused what this represents in my dream?? Me and my youngest bro used to be very close, but I was a little distant with him after I moved out and lately now that he’s in high school I feel like he doesn’t want my attention as much as he used to and also doesn’t want to spend time together.

Part 8: At one point I’m squeezing my cat so tight to my chest he’s gone limp and isn’t breathing - but I loosen up and check and he’s fine after just a second, although he’s irritated and a little squirmy. Somehow this boy with us has now gotten me to finding my car at the top of an open parking garage and I haven’t dropped the cat the whole way. I open the door and start putting my stuff on the seat (I had a purse this whole time). In the front seat, there’s actually already a cat. My cat?? I say out loud, ‘oh, I didn’t actually bring him in - there’s an unopened one right here!’. Because the cat in the car, my cat, has a San Pelligrino soda foil cap on its head. Also, I realize I dropped my cat - you know, the one I’d carried back? But no, there he is, and I pick him up and put him in the back seat. He’s also my cat. And somehow I’m still more worried about his well-being, even though supposedly, the cat in the front seat with the foil hat is mine.

The squeezing thing is a memory of the other night irl when I realized my cat was so deep asleep he felt like he’d stopped breathing and when I moved him to wake him he was completely limp and still; he’s fine now and was confused and irate at me for waking him before. But the two cats thing was throwing me off really hard; All I knew was that a family friend literally just put down her cat yesterday and that I’d seen pictures of her baby girl, and this girl cat looked exactly like my boy cat and was roughly the same age and had an illness. But I was certain that both of these dream cats were my boy, although weirdly I was more loyal to the one I’d been carrying.

My husband actually helped me figure out this crazy shit in a way that blew my mind (because foil hat was reaaally confusing me.) He asked what I usually do with San Pelligrino sodas, and got me to admit that usually, I don’t finish them. (I don’t always finish most drinks actually.) But it really sucks when I leave a San Pelli unfinished, because they’re expensive and they’re one of my favorites, so wasting it is a bigger deal than wasting other drinks, and I feel regretful because I didn’t get to appreciate them all the way to their end and guilty because I didn’t do all that I could to make sure they weren’t wasted. He said the cat in the front seat is a healthy cat - an ‘unopened’ one that I haven’t put in danger and that doesn’t have any predetermined threats to its well-being because it’s ‘new’. I wish desperately that I didn’t have to be constantly afraid of losing my FIV boy to an illness, but at the same time I would never want to replace him with a healthy cat even if they were exactly the same - his weakness has made me not only glad I have him in my own care, where I know I’d give anything in my power to keep him healthy and happy - it’s made me and my husband open to the idea of seeking out needy pets in the future that might not otherwise have chances with families. (We also know that we have to be ready for the worst; if a vet tells us our boy isn’t going to be happy or isn’t going to feel healthy, we need to be ready to let go and voluntarily put him down when his quality of life diminishes.) Basically, having the opportunity of the healthy-safe-front-seat-fresh-cat didn’t make me forget or discard the one I’d carried back with me, and I think that’s my brain reaffirming I don’t regret my boi and will protect him with everything I have until I literally can’t anymore.

That was the end of my dream - putting the rescued cat in the back seat safely while acknowledging the other cat. And I woke up with my cat snuggling me, of course. I’ve had a lot of these weirdly detailed dreams lately and I love writing them out. Watchyal got? Anyone??

#dreams #I once dreamt #dream meanings #dream analysis #dream discussion #share your literal dreams!

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ellanainthetardis · 6 years ago

Note

I read Elizabeth's thoughts about Effie being bi or pan and I was thinking, could you write something where at some point haymitch and Effie bump into a somewhat serious ex girlfriend of effies and haymitch is like what????? The fuck?????

Here you go [x]

The Memory Of A Kiss

“I am sorryto trouble you.” Plutarch insisted in that tone that meant he wasn’t sorry atall because Effie was little more than a glorified assistant in that District. Theformer Head Gamemaker even walked aheadof them.

“I assure you it is no trouble.” she replied cheerfully.

Haymitch’s shoulder not so accidentally bumpedinto hers and she glanced at him, lifting her eyebrows in a silent question.His grey eyes were twinkling with amusement and he lifted his own eyebrowsback.

She supposed that meant he wasn’t fooled by herpretences and knew exactly just how irritated she was.

“Haymitch and I really need to be in Command.” Plutarch went on as if she hadn’tanswered him at all. “And I reallyneed that asset debriefed. Just take some notes and then type them for me, thatwill be enough. I can pass them along to President Coin.”

She gritted her teeth and reminded herself thather safety was precarious in this place. She patted her low blond ponytailself-consciously, always too aware of what she looked like clad in those awfuluniforms. She had tried to rebelagainst the dress code by customizing them but Coin was ruthless and Haymitchhad begged her to stop beingconfrontational before she ended up in a cell for disobeying the rules.

There were days she truly didn’t understand why they were exchanging the Capitol foranother brand of tyrant.

“She’s my escort, not your secretary.” Haymitchrebuked with some irritation.

Being his escort was very much like being asecretary sometimes but she minded it less when it was Haymitch. He behavedlike he had always behaved. Plutarch… Plutarch acted like a true Capitol andtended to be a little dismissive because she was not on par with his social statusin Thirteen. He was at the top of the food chain and she was at the verybottom.

“I do not mind.” she insisted.

Spending the day with a Capitol agent who hadfled the city in a near-miss with death after being discovered and who hadmanaged to join a group of refugees just in time to escape to Thirteen seemedmore riveting than listening to Coin ramble on and on about the delicateproblem that was Four. Apparently the District wasn’t key to their victory butshe really wanted to take it anyway. And that was without talking about thebombs that kept raining on Three and the images they were forced to watch inCommand. No, really, she would have a better time talking to a no-doubt dashingspy.

Fortunately, they arrived at the refugeestriage room before the bickering between Plutarch and Haymitch could escalate –they had been bickering quite a lot lately, they shared a compartment and it triggeredtensions because… Well, Haymitch was a slob and Plutarch was probably the kindof men used to strict order, which meant that Haymitch had relocated most ofhis stuff in her room and while theyweren’t openly admitting they were living together… They sort of were, she supposed. Unofficially.

The Head Gamemaker immediately led them awayfrom where the families were gathered at the center of the room with theirmeager belongings, waiting for a soldier to call them so they could beprocessed and explained the rules, and toward a smaller side-room that Effieknew to be the interrogation room.

That wasn’t what it was called but that was whatit looked like.

That was where she had been processed afterher arrival in Thirteen – her kidnapping,as she liked to call it.

The mood wasn’t as tensed in there as it hadbeen for her but, then again, she supposed spies were more welcomed than escorts.

“Lys?” she gasped, shocked, when she recognizedthe woman sitting in front of the small desk.

The spy looked up in surprise and her faceimmediately lightened in relief and joy. She bolted off her chair and to her,prompting two small alarmed reactions from the soldier and Haymitch, but thewomen both ignored that as they hugged tight.

“You are here!” Lys whispered in her ear. “I wondered but there was no finding outwhat had happened to you. I am soglad you are safe…”

The woman drew back long enough to frame herface and Effie took the time to assess… Lys didn’t look hurt. Very tired, yes,but not hurt. She was wearing a forest green dress that had seen better daysbut that still stood out against her dark complexion. The black jacket was dreadful and Effie wasn’t sure where shehad picked it up but she supposed style wasn’t the most important thing whenyou were fleeing the Capitol. Her black eyes were just as fascinating as usualthough, they still felt as if they were looking right into Effie’s soul. And Lyshad changed her hair since the last time she had seen her: gone were the glossypurple hair that reached the small of her back, it was short and straight now,dyed in a declination of yellow, pink and brown with the occasional whitestrand. It looked amazing on her.

Too aware of what she looked like in her grey jumpsuit and hasty natural blondponytail, Effie felt inadequate. There weren’t many women who could make herfeel less beautiful than them but Lys Verdi had always been one of them. Shecould have been a model if she had so chosen but she had always claimed thelife of a socialite suited her better.

As if sensing her sudden insecurity, Lys smiledand gently wrapped her hand around the ponytail, brushing it over her shoulderand very much stroking the side of her throat while she was at it. Effie lickedher lips. It was an automatic response.

“Gorgeous as ever.” the woman offered despitethe fact that Effie had certainly never lether see her without her wig or make-up before.

“Oh, please.”she dismissed with an embarrassed chuckle. “We both know that is far from the truth.”

Lys shook her head gracefully and then closedher eyes and let her forehead fall against hers. “I am so glad to see you… I feared they had caught you.”

“I am glad to see you.” she offered because it was true. The relief and joy she feltat seeing a familiar face… Someone from home, someone from her life, who wouldn’t look at her oddly because she was a Capitolwith Capitol quirks… It couldn’t beexplained.

Lys leaned in and Effie let her, out of a nevertruly forgotten reflex. It was so chaste a kiss it could barely be called that. A peck a touch too long to be entirelyinnocent but certainly nothing to write songs about.

At least, that was what she thought untilPlutarch cleared his throat and Effie crashed back into reality. And shecrashed back hard.

She quickly let go of Lys’ arms and steppedback at a proper distance, cursing the lack of make-up that made her blushingso obvious. She looked at Haymitch but his face was closed, his hands were deepin his pockets, he was slightly slouched and his grey eyes were glaring a holeinto the floor.

“I see introductions are not necessary?”Plutarch teased.

“We are old friends.” Effie declared, stilltrying to catch Haymitch’s gaze. To no avail.

“Friends…” Lys repeated with a disapprovingtwitch of her perfectly shape eyebrows. She let the word draw out, clearlywaiting for her to amend.

And she did because, to be honest, they had never been friends. “Old flames?”

“Better.” Lys laughed, turning to the HeadGamemaker. “I apologize, Plutarch, Effie always managed to distract me. I haveinformation for you.”

“Good. Good.” Plutarch nodded. “Effie will helpyou settle down and show you around. She will pass any intel you have tome.”

“Maybe that’s not the most clever plan.”Haymitch grumbled. “If she’s such a distractionand all…”

“Haymitch…” Effie sighed. She paused, thensighed again and shrugged, a little uncomfortable. “Haymitch, may I introduceLys Verdi? Lys, I trust you already know who Haymitch is.”

Lys, polite as ever, offered her hand to shake.

Haymitch, unsurprisingly, simply sneered at it.

“We are all on the same team here, Haymitch.”Plutarch quietly reminded him.

“Some more than others.” he muttered and Effie glared.

He did shakeLys’ hand though. It may have lasted a little too long and he might havesqueezed a little too hard if the socialite’s amusement was to be believed.

“Alright.” Plutarch clapped his hands andgrabbed Haymitch’s arm. “We really need to go to Command now.”

“I’ll see you tonight.” Haymitch declared. Loudly. It almost sounded like awarning.

Effie pursed her lips, narrowed her eyes at himand tilted her head to the side but if he noticed her annoyance, he didn’t leton. They may have been unofficially sharing a room but they weren’t in a habitto advertise. Of course, they hadbeen… Perhaps they had been less careful than usual since they had arrived inThirteen, less quick to deny, less desperate to hide… But they hadn’t gone and admittedit either. Doing it like that, meaninglessly, out of petty jealousy… It didn’tsit well with her.

“Let’s get you settled.” Effie offered once thetwo men had left.

They got her welcome pack from the soldier,along with her new compartment number.

“Are they serious about this rule book?” Lysasked, nodding at the huge file Effie was carrying while she struggled with theclothes and first necessary items. Soldiers weren’t known for their gallantryand nobody in the District lifted a finger to help two frail women carryingheavy load. Well, it wasn’t that heavy.Effie had carried her own by herself.

“They are serious about everything.” Effie told her in a whisper. “This place is dreadful.”

“It is better than refugees camps in someDistricts.” the woman argued. “It was a long trip from the Capitol… I have seenthings you wouldn’t believe. Honestly, I feel lucky to be here.”

There was a gravity to her words that toldEffie she should stop complaining. That was one of the things she hadn’t reallyliked about Lys. The woman had depths she wasn’t afraid to show. She advertisedher interests for politics and science, passing it as a mere hobby between twoparties, but always displaying such understanding and intelligence that Effiehad more than once felt inadequate standing next to her. She had sometimes feltas if the dumb escort act hadn’t been such an act. It had been no fault of Lys,of course. She hadn’t aimed to make her feel that way. But…

“I cannotbelieve you were a spy.” she declared, redirecting the conversation on saferground. “How long have you been working for the rebellion?”

“A couple of years.” Lys answered.

“Oh…” Effie frowned. “So not when we…”

“No.” The woman shook her head. “I would never have done that to you.”

She wasn’t sure there were limits to whatpeople did to each other in the name of this rebellion. Haymitch hadpurposefully kept her in the dark even when she had demanded to be told what was going on, he had lied to her, hiddenthings from her… He had helped turned their girl into a symbol behind her back…

“Here. Number 606. It is your room.” she said,pointing at a sliding door that nothing differentiated from the others lining downthe corridor except for the small numbers on the side.

“This place is a maze.” Lys winced. “I will getlost.”

“There is a map in the rule book.” Effiereassured her. “And there are maps on the walls at key intersections. It isoverwhelming at first but I promise it is not that difficult once you get thegist of it.” The compartment was empty and she didn’t think someone else wasliving there yet. “You will probably be assigned a roommate.”

“Do you have one?” Lys asked, looking aroundthe small living quarters curiously.

“Oh… No.” she hummed awkwardly, sliding thedoor shut and automatically drawing closed the curtains of the window that gaveon the corridor. She hated those plastic windows. “Be careful in the bathroom.It is awfully small and water tendsto get everywhere when you shower. Oh, and there are only five minutes of hotwater per day.”

She explained everything she could think of,how to place her arm in the small cavity in the wall to get her scheduletemporarily tattooed on her wrist, the important rules that could get you introuble… She remained in the small living area when Lys went into the bedroomcorner to change out of her green dress and into the standard grey jumpsuit,purposefully keeping her eyes on the wall to give her some privacy.

“Oh, and do nottry to customize the uniform.” she warned. “I almost got arrested for that if you can believe it. They tolerate headscarvesbut barely. They really dislikeanything that makes you stand out. If you can find a painless way to removeyour fake nails, I would advise you to do it before someone notices and reportsyou. They are not exactly… skilledwhen it came to taking them off.”

She looked down at her own hands and thechipped damaged nails she now had to contend with. Two had turned black.

“Have they hurt you, dove?” Lys asked with afrown, leaning against the bedroom threshold.

The familiar nickname associated with how goodthe woman looked in the jumpsuit – and truly no one had a right to make thosejumpsuits look so good – made her feel uneasy. The attraction was still there,that was plain to see.

Lys had pushed her sleeves up and Effie’s eyeswere drawn to the golden tattoos on her forearms. She had always loved how thegold contrasted with her dark skin.

“They are not allowed to touch me. Haymitch gotme immunity.” she said. “But they do not like the fact there is an escort intheir District and they are not shy about letting me know.”

“Effie…” Lys breathed out with worry andsympathy.

“It is of no consequence.” she dismissed. “I amperfectly fine. Now… You must behungry, are you not?”

Effie’s schedule read lunchtime and she figuredthe dining hall was as good a place as any to finally get to the point and getthe report Plutarch wanted. She had forgotten how overwhelming the place couldbe when you first arrived. Lys kept looking around, not oblivious at all to thecurious – when not outright hostile – looks her hair warranted her.

“They truly do not like Capitols much.” the spy remarked once they had found asmall table in a corner. It wasn’t empty but the group of soldiers they had to share with was sitting at the otherend, far enough that they could have some semblance of privacy.

“That is a niceeuphemism.” Effie chuckled, attacking the insipid dish and regretting the factthat Haymitch wasn’t there because he always gave her some of his share. Shehad never been a big eater but she was often hungry in Thirteen.

She quizzed Lys while they ate, scribblingprecise notes down. By the time both of their trays were empty they had movedback to other topics but neither of them suggested leaving the hall. The noonrush was over now and there was something almost hypnotic to watching peoplesit down, eat, stand up and leave with such precision they might as well havebeen robots.

It wasn’t hard to figure out who was born inThirteen and who came from other Districts despite the uniforms. People fromother Districts were always more prone to enjoying meal times, to laughtogether and make it a communal moment.

“They do not waste any second in this place, dothey?” Lys asked.

“They live according to their wrist.” shesnorted.

She loved her schedules, she did. She had dozens color coded journalsand diaries at home. She loved schedules.

But this was taking it a step too far.

Branding her own arm with a timetable everymorning and getting in trouble when she didn’t follow it? She didn’t like it.And she was more lucky than most. Given that her job was to act as Katniss’prep team, stylist and babysitter when she wasn’t following Plutarch orHaymitch around to take notes and fetch them whatever they needed like aglorified assistant, her schedule was somehow flexible, changing with the tideof war. She knew for a fact people like Haymitch’s housekeeper or Katniss’mother had strict hours branded on their skin.

“That is no life at all.” Lys commented, thetips of her fingers brushing against Effie’s inner wrist where the timetablewas inked.

Her hand twitched but she didn’t take it offthe table.

She frowned. “Lys…”

“I was thinking…” the woman hummed. “Since youdo not have a roommate… Perhaps we could request to share? After all… Wealready know we can live together and…”

“I have someone.” she interrupted quietly.

Lys trailed her fingers from her wrist to herhand. “I noticed. He is not very subtle, is he? A bit boorish.”

“Nevertheless.” she argued.

“But you are not married. Nothing is set instone.” Lys countered. “We were very good together, weren’t we?”

They hadbeen. Effie had been madly in love with her. For a few weeks, at least. It hadbeen a spark. A glorious, short-lived spark.

Then she had gone to the Sixty-Ninth Reapingand Haymitch had antagonized her too much and she had ended up with her backagainst a wall and her victor between her legs and she had wondered how she couldbe with Lys when nothing compared towhat she felt when Haymitch touched her. Lys hadn’t been the first girlfriendor boyfriend she had cheated on with him. She wasn’t particularly proud of it.She had loathed herself for itbecause most of them had been good people she had cared for. At least until shehad remembered that no matter how many times she tried to forget him withsomeone else, she always went back to him for more.

She belongedto him.

It was the sad pathetic truth.

From the first kiss shared in anger and hatred,he had owned her. Body and soul.

“Oh.” Lys smiled softly, taking her hand away.“You are in love with him.”

She licked her lips and didn’t dare meet hereyes. “I would love rooming with you but…”

“Your bed is taken.” Lys finished for her withsome amusement. “It is alright, I understand. I am sure there are plenty oflonely women around.”

“And they would be lucky to have you.” Effiesmiled.

She didn’t suggest they remained friends. Theyhadn’t remained friends after the breakup, they had awkwardly avoided eachother for months until it had been socially acceptable for them to simply nodand wave at each other from afar at parties when they couldn’t help exchanginga few polite words. There were people you couldn’t be friends with because it was either all or nothing.

A little like with Haymitch.

But without compare.

If what she had shared with Lys was a spark,what she had with Haymitch was a blaze.

She had never loved anyone like she loved him.What they shared… It was madness.Passion. Born out of hatred, forged in fire… Poisonous and deadly and… It consumed everything. It was wild. Largerthan life. And painful. Oh so painful…

But she wouldn’t have exchanged it for theworld.

They parted amicably after Effie had pointedher out in the direction of her compartment and she spent the rest of theafternoon in the small room near the shooting studio Plutarch had commandeeredas his office, typing out Lys’ report as well as some possible speeches forKatniss. She didn’t see why they bothered given that the girl only did and saidwhat she wanted but it was a task she had been given and she would see itthrough.

It was late by the time she went back to thedining hall for dinner – certainly later than the schedule on her wrist advised– and it was mostly empty. She gave a wide berth to the refugees from Elevenbecause they were very hostile to her and she didn’t feel quite safe aroundthem. A few faces at other tables were familiar, people from Twelve she hadseen Haymitch talking to, but she didn’t dare impose herself on them even ifthe old woman who kept calling him a boy to his face without blinking – shethought her name was something Sae –nodded at her when their eyes met. She didn’t think the woman would have chasedher off but she didn’t want to tempt it.

She sat at an empty table at the far end. Shealways kept a wall at her back when she was alone in this District. She wasn’tsure where she had picked up the habit but it made her feel better to know noone could jump on her – and given the looks some people shot her, it was a realpossibility.

She absent-mindedly tapped her fork on herboiled turnips, lost in the memories Lys had brought back, wondering what itsaid about her that she had exchanged a happy steady relationship for somethingwhere everything was left unsaid and where nothing was certain – even if the sex was unparalleled. The clatter of a tray being carelessly dropped on thetable in front of her made her look up, lips pursed.

Haymitch flopped down on the bench, undisturbedby her pouting.

She glanced behind him and spotted Plutarch,Boggs and Coin settling down at another table.

“Where’s your girlfriend?” he scoffed as ahello.

“Ex-girlfriend.”she corrected. “And jealousy does not suit you.”

He angrily stabbed a turnip, sparing her aglare. “You’ve got nerves saying that when you’ve been on my case about Hazelleand those other women.”

“An entirelydifferent situation.” she huffed.

He might argue she was crazy all he wanted, sheknew what she was seeing. And what she was seeing was a bunch of women who hadno home left and who wouldn’t have minded cozying up with Twelve’s victor. Thefact that he was handsome – and now sober – was a nice plus. As for HazelleHawthorne… She knew when someone coveted her significant other, thank you verymuch, she wasn’t born yesterday.

“Yeah.” he sneered. “Cause I don’t go kissing them.”

She winced and cut a turnip in two beforeclearing her throat. “It was barely akiss.”

“Locked lips. I call that a kiss.” he spat.“But, hey, if that’s okay with youthen just let me find a girl…”

He made a show of looking around and shequickly trapped his ankle between hers under the table, a little afraid he would actually select a woman and kissher to make a point. He would. She knew he would.

“Shekissed me.” she pointed out.

“And you kissed back.” he growled, stabbinganother poor turnip.

She licked her lips and sighed. “She is… a verybeautiful woman.”

“Yeah.” he agreed, more easily than she hadexpected. “But see… Thing is… When I say you’re the most gorgeous woman I’veever seen? I sure mean it but thatdoesn’t mean there aren’t other gorgeous women around. Some I may have sleptwith before, even. And I still don’t go and kiss them just for the hell of it. See where I’m going withthat?”

She did seebut her pride was getting in the way of admitting he was right. “It was barely a kiss Haymitch. Is it becauseshe is a woman?”

She knew he had some… insecurities about that part of her sexuality. Her preferencesdidn’t bother him but he was always more prone to act out when a woman flirtedwith her or…

“Sweetheart, if she had been a man I’d havepunched her.” he snapped.

“We are not exclusive.” she reminded him evenif it was a moot point and one she would have liked to see buried six feetunderground. It had been a long time since their casual affair had turned into something serious. But likeeverything with them it had been left unacknowledged.

“Yeah?”he challenged, letting his fork clatter in his tray. He stared straight at her,his grey eyes dark with anger and jealousy. “Careful, Effie. ‘Cause you keep saying things like this maybe I’m really gonna test the theory.”

“Yes?” she hissed back, putting her own forkand knife down to place her hands flat on the table, ready to push herself upand storm out. “I knew you were onlylooking for an opportunity to go with that Hawthorne woman.”

“The fuckare you even talking about?” he sneered. “You’re the one who’s kissingother people and saying it’s okay ‘cause we’renot exclusive. Maybe you want another piece of her ass for old time’s sake, yeah? That’s what you want?”

“Stop being an idiot!” she retorted, rising hervoice a little too high. “I am notthe one with cold feet in this relationship.”

“Not what it feels like every night.” hemocked. “Your feet feel like fuckingice cubes.”

That brought her short.

She stared at him, wrinkled her nose and sighedin frustration. “What are you eventalking about?”

“I’mtalking about you kissing ex-girlfriends like it’s okay.” he scowled. “You’re talking nonsense as usual.”

“She kissedme.” she persisted.

“You kissed back.” he accused once more.

She rolled her eyes. “For perhaps a second.”

“So you admitit!” he triumphed. Again, too loud. Heads were starting to turn in theirdirection.

“Yes.”she gave in with irritation. “Yes. I kissed her back. I should not have. I admit it. There. I apologize. Are you happy now?”

He didn’t look happy but he finished histurnips in silence. She was coveting his yoghurt and very much wanted to swapit against the cheese they had given her but she didn’t dare request it yet.

Truth be told, if he had gone and kissed an ex-girlfriend in front of her – no matterhow chaste the kiss – she would have made a much more dramatic scene than theone he had just made.

“I am sorry.”she whispered, more sincerely subdued. “I did not intend to kiss back. It just…happened.”

“Okay.” he grumbled, not looking at her.

“Haymitch.” she insisted, squeezing his anklebetween hers.

It was at least a good minute before he slowlymoved his other leg to frame her own ankle. It wasn’t very discrete even if itwas happening under the table but she supposed nobody was paying them attentionanymore and the dining hall was almost empty anyway.

“When was it? With her. When was it?” he asked.

“Six years ago.” she answered. “I broke it offduring the Games because… Well… You know why.I do not like cheating on people.”

He scoffed at that. “See, you say that likeit’s a good thing but all that it tells me is that you do cheat. Doesn’t matter if you like it or not.”

“The only times I ever cheated were on otherpeople and with you.” she replieddefensively.

“Yeah but you still did it and you liked some of them. Like that woman.” hepointed out, still not meeting her eyes. “So what’s to say you won’t cheat onme with someone you’re really attracted to? Again, like her. Maybe it’s gonna be an accident. That’s what we used to say, yeah? I can’t know itwon’t happen.”

“Yes, you canactually.” She frowned. “First, because I neverlied to you about anything. And then because I did like some of them but I do not like you.”

She stared until he briefly met her eyes, thechallenge clear in her gaze. She would saywhat she felt for him and he wouldn’t like to hear it. He was the one whoalways insisted they shouldn’t get attached and who always cut her short whenshe tried to make him understand.

“She’sreally pretty.” he remarked slowly. “Even with the ridiculous hair.”

“I happen to find you more handsome.” sheretorted without hesitation.

He tossed her a look that clearly meant hewasn’t buying that but he pushed the pot of yoghurt in her direction andgrabbed the cheese on her tray.

“Let’s stop saying we’re not exclusive, yeah?”he muttered.

Her lips twitched but she forced herself toremain detached. “I have not beenwith anyone else in five years.”

“Except for the people you kiss back.” he scoffed.

“How long are you going to hold that over myhead?” She sighed. “I alreadyapologized.”

He snorted. “How long would you?”

She pursed her lips and tilted her head to theside. He lifted his eyebrows and she rolled her eyes.

“Fine.” she granted, attacking the yoghurt. “I would lord it over you for quite some time. But I would also believe you if you said I am the onlyone you are interested in.”

He studied her for a moment and then finallyrelaxed. “You’re gonna see her again?”

It sounded more casual than accusative so shedidn’t bother getting defensive.

“Not if I can help it.” She shook her head. “Weare not friends material.”

“Alright.” he said, and this time it was entirely casual. There was a spark ofmirth in his eyes when he slouched a little in his chair. “You still owe me,sweetheart.”

“Do I?” she grinned. “And how do you intend tohave me repay you, I wonder?”

His gaze trailed to her mouth and stayed therelong enough to make his desire clear.

She supposed it was only fair. The offense had come from her lips going astrayafter all.

They finished their meal quickly and mostly insilence before leaving the dining hall. It was a long succession of corridorsand elevators to the habitations area and Effie spent half the way ponderinghow to say what she wanted to say.

“I think you should move in with me.” shedeclared eventually, as they rounded the corner that led to her compartment. Hebriefly paused but easily caught up with her. She continued, pretending not tohave noticed. “They will assign me aroommate at some point and… You are already living here anyway and Plutarchalready knows where you spend your nights, so… We do not have to advertize it but I think we should makeit official at leastadministratively. You know… Just in case they want to assign me a roommate.”

She expected an argument. She really did.

“Sure.” He shrugged. “In case they want to giveyou a roommate. Can’t have that.” Sheopened the sliding door and let herself in, grinning hard. He waited until hehad closed the door and nobody could hear them to continue. “Imagine if theytry to kiss you and you kiss back…”

“Oh!” she huffed in exasperation, turningaround to shove him against the door. “Enough with this…” The kiss she pressedon his mouth was nothing chaste or innocent. It was hard and dirty and she bitdown on his bottom lip, making him groan. She drew back. “There. Thisis a real kiss. Did you see me kiss anyone else like this? Did you?”

She captured his mouth again, not leaving himtime to answer that and not very surprised when he grabbed her under the assand flopped them over so she was the one with her back against the door.

“Don’t want to see you kissing anyone else.” hegrowled, sinking his teeth in her neck and sucking the delicate flesh. It wouldleave a mark. Then again, she supposed it was rather the point. “Ever.”

“Never again.” she promised, her fingers doinga quick job of discarding his clothes. “I amsorry.”

His hand sneaked inside her jumpsuit andsqueezed her breast over her grey tank top. “Prove it.”

She didn’t mind praying for forgiveness on herknees.

Not for him.

And not when he was the one begging at the endof it.

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